Wildlife Awareness

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/kshucker OOP has given their permission to reposts this saga Neighbor harassment... Is there anything I can do? Originally posted to r/legaladvice & r/homeowners Editors Note: Prior to these posts, OOP made a post titled Potential neighbor harassment. What can be done? on Nov 29, 2016 (3 months earlier) which is unrecoverable, but is mentioned in the following post Original Post Feb 21, 2017 So, about 2 months ago, I posted here on r/legaladvice, that I moved into my first home and was warned by a friend who used to be a police officer, that my new neighbor would call the police for (what he said) everything you could imagine in the past. Dogs barking, loud cars, loud kids at the playground across the street, people walking on the sidewalk in front of her house, etc etc. My first post here was asking if there was anything I could do legally to keep her at bay from calling the police. This was about a week before I moved into the home and pretty much every response to me was laughing at me and telling me that if I wasn't a bad neighbor she wouldn't need to call the police. I took it with a grain of salt. Fast forward to moving day, and we pull up to the house in the Uhaul. About 30 minutes later, a police officer pulls up in his cruiser and checks in on us because they received a call from "somebody in the neighborhood". I asked what the call was about and he said he couldn't tell me, but we just told him we bought the house and had some friendly small talk and he was on his way. I'm convinced that it was our neighbor who made the call to the police. All we were doing was moving in! A week later it snows and I'm outside shoveling and so is my neighbor. I get to talking to her and within 30 seconds she starts bragging (more or less) about how she will call the cops on everybody and everything. I couldn't believe it. Google searched her name and an article popped up about a harassment charge she acquired 3 years ago. She got into a verbal altercation with a neighbor and she hit them with a spade shovel. She seems like a real upstanding citizen. Fast forward to present time. Last night it was unusually warm. I decided to get a fire going in our fire pit in the backyard. Before I could even get it lit, she's knocking on the fence and asks if she can talk to me. She says "I don't know what you guys are planning on doing over there, but there aren't too many people having fires with 10-15 mph gusts. If any of that smoke makes its way into my house, I'm going to have to make a call" I tell her that we were still going to have a fire and we'd be inside in about an hour. So, my question is, if she keeps threatening to "make calls" or have police show up at my door when I'm doing nothing illegal, is there anything I can do in terms of harassment or getting a restraining order? TLDR Neighbor calls the cops for just about everything, infringing on my privacy when I'm trying to enjoy myself. Nothing illegal is going on. Can I do anything about it in terms of harassment or getting a restraining order? UPDATE: Hello fellow Redditors, I'm the guy with the neighbor who won't stop calling the cops. Feb 24, 2017 (3 days later) I'll try and keep this short. I took all of the comments I read about what to do into consideration. Most suggested investing in a security camera system. As much as I don't want to do this, I'm going to have to. Today (2/24/2017), while I am at work, my S/O had to run to the store for something before work. S/O has to drive past our house to get to work from the store. S/O said that while passing our house our crazy neighbor lady is in OUR front yard with a leaf blower, blowing leaves around our yard, knowing that nobody was home in our house. Clearly on our property, no questions asked. I am fucking irate. Security cameras are being bought TODAY and being installed as soon as possible. At what point is trespassing, actually trespassing? I do not want her on my property but she was clearly on my property. A part of me wants to say she was doing what she was doing to get our dog worked up inside of our house. I'm desperately looking for some help here. edit: messaged the mods so this isn't locked anymore. edit 2: don't worry everybody. I'll update this story if anything else comes about after cameras are up and she's asked to not be on my property again. Update 2 - rareddit Apr 11, 2017 (6 weeks later) TLDR AT THE BOTTOM AS WELL And for the lazy who won't click the links, I'll give a quick overview of whats happening: Bought my first home in December, neighbor likes to call the cops for everything you can imagine, neighbor infringes on our privacy whenever we are outside and threatens to call the cops on us for no reason. Now bear with me here, I don't have exact dates to go off of since I am at work and on my lunch break. I will guesstimate the best as possible with dates. So we left my first update where me and my S/O caught our crazy neighbor lady in our front yard blowing leaves around. Nobody was home at the time and my S/O drove by the house and saw it. That's how we know. A lot of people suggested getting a security camera system and I said I would be getting one as soon as possible. Other financial issues came up and I had to put off the camera system for a few weeks. This is where the 2nd update starts. Fast forward from February to March 15th(?). It is around 9:45pm and I am out back smoking a cigarette. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and look over towards it and see this.... hand... throwing pieces of garbage into my yard over the fence. It's Crazy Neighbor Lady. She didn't know I was outside (just good timing on my part I guess). I played dumb and asked, "What are you doing Crazy Neighbor Lady" and she quick stops throwing the trash and quickly turns around to go inside of her house. As she gets closer to her door she turns around and says, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" With which I responded loudly, "What are you doing Crazy Neighbor Lady?" She says she was just outside checking out her yard... Now mind you, it's 9:45pm and it had just started to snow. We were projected to get 12+ inches of snow so I think her plan was to throw trash into my yard and then have it be covered up by the snow. I went over to where I saw her hand coming over the fence and found a random piece of plastic and a soda lid (think of the ones that you get from fast food places with your drink. The kind you poke a straw through). They were laying neatly on top of the leaves and mulch bed that they were thrown on. This had me LIVID. I caught her in the act and bought a security camera system that night on Amazon. It came within two days and I set it up over that weekend. I set all of the cameras up inside of windows looking out towards my property. It took only THREE DAYS of having the cameras to find her throwing more little pieces of trash onto our property. It's just little pieces of trash that end up in her yard. We live in a city along one of the busiest streets. It's unfortunate that people litter out of their cars but it happens. If I see any trash in my yard, I'll pick it up and throw it out. If Crazy Neighbor Lady sees any trash in her yard, she'll throw it into her neighbors yards so it's not her problem. Over the period of a month I catch her 3 different times on camera throwing trash from her property on to mine. She physically picks it up, comes on to my property and sets it down well on to my side of the front yard when nobody is home. To some, it may sound like I'm going to the extremes to try and screw this lady over, but given her past history that I've heard from other neighbors, I'm stomping out the fire (her) before it (she) can even get started. Last night, I catch her on camera for the 4th time coming on to my property to throw more trash into my yard. This time she has her dogs with her and are letting her dogs roam around without a leash in my yard. I had finally had enough and called the police to come out to look at my videos and see if there was anything I can do about her. Police officer comes out looks at the videos and I read him the journal of all of the interactions of had with her and he's kind of blown away with all of the work I've put into protecting myself. My neighbor is a huge PITA for my city's police department (she'll make calls to them for things like the kids being too loud in the playground across the street from us.. unnecessary stuff) and they have no problem slapping her with charges if legitimate charges can be made. I could have pressed charges against her for trespassing, littering and not having her dog on a leash, but I opted to just have the police officer go over to her house and give her a warning. I don't really have the time to take off from work to go to court. I told him to let her know that if she's ever caught on my property or throwing trash on to my property, then I will press charges. He was licking his chops to go over there and ream her ass out. The city police HATE her and like many others have probably mentioned, they take all of her calls with a grain of salt. Now I'm just waiting to see what the next chapter has in store for me. I'm sure she was told that she has been caught on camera so I'll have to wait and see if she tries looking for my cameras. BTW these cameras are fun to watch. It's like I'm living next to a 61 year old child. TLDR: Bought cameras, caught neighbor coming on to my property to throw trash on my property on 4 different occasions, finally got sick of her shit, called police, they verbally thrashed her [Pennsylvania] This is incredibly stupid, but my neighbor keeps calling the police because of leaves from my tree July 28, 2017 (3 months after prev. update) Per mods request, please keep comments on topic I truly would like to know what legal rights I have against this. Hello r/legaladvice. I feel like I'm starting to become a regular on this sub ever since I bought my house. Long story short, my neighbor will call the police if ANY leaves from my tree or ANY grass blades from me cutting my grass go into her yard (yes, she stands out there and watches me cut the grass). Last week we talked to one another with a police officers presence so we can try and work something out. Basically, the moment she sees a leaf in her yard, she gets pissed. I told her I'm not home all the time to constantly monitor every single fucking leaf that falls from my tree. Oh, the tree is on the OPPOSITE side of the yard from her. My yard is not littered with leaves and the police even said that my yard looks fine but she persists on calling the police out every time anything comes into her yard. I have done my research on the situation, as dumb as I think it is, but once a leaf falls from a tree, I'm not liable for what happens to it. That's what internet articles say at least. Could anybody produce any sort of Pennsylvania state legal documentation that says that leaves falling from a tree is not a crime? Lol. I can't believe I am even here asking this but I'm getting really sick of the police coming out for everything I do outside. I just want to present it to the police/neighbor so it stops. edit: Since this blew up a little bit, and others have asked what I have done to her for her to do what she is doing, I will give a little more information about the past few months. Within a month of moving into the house this past December, I was out back after dark (it was no later than 8pm) breaking down some boxes that we had left over from moving. I took a quick break from breaking them down and I see this hand throwing trash into my yard over the fence that separates our yards. I couldn't believe it. Up until this point, we had one interaction with one another and that was when we were both outside shoveling snow. I introduced myself and she introduced herself and immediately warned me that she likes to call the police on anything that she sees wrong in the neighborhood. Basically bragging about it. From that greeting to the trash being thrown into my yard, no interactions with one another. I bought a security camera system shortly after that to see how often she does it. We had bits and pieces of trash in our backyard shortly after moving in and it was always on the side of the yard that was up against her fence. We just thought that it was whatever trash that the wind picked up and would stop at the fence and we would pick it up whenever we would see it. Within 3 days of having the cameras, she's doing it again, and is on camera doing it. I waited for it to happen on 3 more occasions. After the 2nd time I had it on video, anytime I saw her outside when I was outside, I tried to say hello and talk to her about it, but as soon as I said hello, she would go inside. After the 3rd time of throwing trash into my yard and being unsuccessful at talking to her about it, I called the police. There was no reason for her to be throwing trash into my yard. The police gave her a warning. The trash in our backyard that we thought was getting blown there stopped as well. Crazy. After that, I had been nothing but nice to her and would say hello whenever I saw her. I really don't want to have problems, but I had to do something about the trash being thrown into our yard. Anytime I would say hello, I would get ignored... She even went as far as to say she was going to charge me with harassment if I didn't stop... What? Last week the police came out again for leaves in her yard. He suggested that we talk to one another while he was there to listen. She explained herself. She thinks that we are not maintaining our property well enough and is upset that we aren't outside to pick up every leaf that falls from our tree and doesn't want any grass clippings blowing into her yard. The police officer looked over at my yard and looked back at her and said there is nothing wrong with my yard and that it looks better than a lot of properties in our city. She said that she bought her house that doesn't have a tree because she didn't want to clean up leaves. Newsflash, every house on our block has a tree except for hers. She "just wishes" that we would take care of our yard better. Again, the police officer enforced to her that according to city law, our yard was fine. We agreed with each other that if we have any problems with one another that we would talk to each other first before getting the police involved. 8 days later she called the police again for grass and leaves being in her yard. As far as I could tell, there wasn't any grass left behind. And when I mean in her yard, I'm not saying it is in the middle of her yard. It is mere inches from where our yards meet in her yard. She has been nothing but a headache since we moved in and it's only getting worse. I have done nothing to her other than make sure that she stopped throwing trash in my yard. Why she started to do that? I don't know. Crazy neighbor is possibly killing my grass. July 17, 2018 (1 year after prev. update) I just posted this in r/lawncare and I’m not exactly sure which sub is the best to submit it to. Long story short, I have an absolutely crazy neighbor. I’ve talked about her in r/legaladvice because of her antics and how I should handle them. I’ve even had to get police involved in the petty stuff she does to have her knock it off. On to the killing of my grass. About a month ago, I notice that all of my grass along the fence between my neighbor and myself was completely dried up and dead. The dead grass starts about 6 inches from the fence and goes the entire length of the fence (probably 75 feet). Crazy neighbor lady’s grass is completely fine along the fence. The only thing I can think of is that she’s spraying something under the fence onto my side to kill my grass. Now I’ve got nothing but ugly weeds growing up along the fenc . Today, I noticed a brown circle (probably 2 foot in diameter) of dead grass in my backyard. It’s no more than 10 feet away from my neighbors fence. My girlfriend said she took our two small dogs out to go to the bathroom and they were rolling around and eating the dead grass from the same area. The only thing I can think of is that my crazy neighbor threw a cup of something over the fence to kill the grass, but I’m not sure why the dogs would be so interested in it. If it was something to kill the grass I’m definitely not cool with my dogs rolling around and sniffing and eating whatever is there. So question 1 is: What are some solutions I can do along the fence to stop the grass from dying? The only thing I can think of is some sort of decorative brick that runs the entire length of the fence and grow the grass back. Question 2 is: Does anybody have any sort of idea what could have caused the 2 foot circle of dead grass but also why my dogs were so attracted to it? We live on the outskirts of a city, so there isn’t much wildlife that could just waltz into the yard, urinate and take off. Plus, it seemed to have happened over night and is rather large. And yes, before anybody mentions it, I do have cameras. I just don’t have any watching the back yard. I’ll have to reposition them now. Final Update - rareddit Nov 3, 2019 (Nearly 3 years since 1st post) Editors Note: edited out previously rehash of prior posts I'm going to cover some things in this post that may have been talked about in my other posts (I'm not going through and re-reading all of them). We were warned that my neighbor has a problem with everything imaginable from the get go. We didn't realize how bad it really was until we were living next to her/them (60-something year old lady and a 40-something year old son. Majority of the problems was with her though). Over the past 3 years we learned a lot about them from various people. Mainly that my neighbor likes to stir up problems to get people pissed off at them. Then when people get pissed off enough, they retaliate against my neighbor and once that happens, my neighbor will take them to court. Believe me, I know it sounds fucking crazy, but that's how it is. Example: When I had the police out for her trespassing and littering in my yard, I could have had her cited for those two things, but the police talked me out of it and told me that she would take it to court and fight it, even if she was going to lose. Also, the people that live on the other side of her (her other neighbors), have been going back and forth in court for the past 15 years with her. I never got any specifics on what, but from the one and only time I talked to those people, that's what they told me. My thought process is that she wants to get money out of people from taking them to court. I've lived next to those people for 3 years and I have no idea what their motivation is in life or why they do what they do. So my neighbor likes to call the police and fire department a lot. Like.. a lot. I have a friend who took an IT job at the call center that receives calls for people calling for the police and fire department for the entire county. The people taking the calls told my IT friend that my neighbor is the most frequent caller in the entire county. The obvious thing to do is to let it iron itself out and the police and fire companies will realize that she's full of shit right? Wrong. I asked my IT friend how she can get away with calling that much. He said that when she makes a call it's not really specific enough to blow off, but specific enough to where there might be an actual problem. A gray area. Example: If somebody is having a fire in their backyard (legally, following all the laws of our city) she will call the fire department concerned about a fire because there's a lot of smoke in the neighborhood. This also goes for anybody that cooks out on their grill in the summer time (especially if you have a charcoal grill). She sees smoke, she calls fire department. The thing with her calls though is that 99% of the time they are bullshit, but if there was an actual problem and she called about it and nobody responded she would take the city to the cleaners over it. It gets old whenever the police and/or fire department show up to your door when you are doing normal every day activities. They were the most bizarre people to live next to. I've tried to figure them out but I simply couldn't. The best way I can describe it is this: You're playing a game with her whether or not you want to. And that game is home ownership. She makes the rules of the game. And when you break one of the rules of the game that she made up, she will have a referee look into it (police/fire). If the referees don't find anything wrong, she will get upset and start doing things like throw trash into your yard or kill your grass. The obvious answer to all of this is to stand my ground and I did. But once you fight back, things are only going to snowball with the neighbor. Which is why we decided to move. The people behind her actually just moved as well because of her. This was our first home and people always say that owning a home isn't easy. It's not, but living next to that neighbor made things so much worse. At one point early on while living there, I asked myself if we are bad neighbors. Nope, we just didn't do things the way she wanted us to. So we put our house up for sale and find somebody to buy it at full price and they would pay closing costs as well. We closed a few days ago and walked out with the check. We drove by the house we just sold and saw that the new people pulled right up behind my neighbors car (that's another thing you DID NOT DO. You do not park behind her car or she will call the police for you being double parked or something... it's a public street btw). We see that they are parked right behind her car. Me and my girlfriend looked at each other and laughed. We then get a call from our realtor asking if we still had the keys from the old house. Shit! Forgot to hand them over at settlement. I wasn't about to go back to the old house and drop them off so I had my realtor do it. She dropped the keys off and then called me again (she's aware of how crazy my old neighbor is). She says, "You're never going to believe this.. The people that bought your house already had a run in with the neighbor. They said she came out bitching about where they parked and that only she can park in front of her house and that if they don't move she'll have to call the police". The people that bought my house then said to my realtor "What's up with this Lady?". To which my realtor said, "I'm not real sure, my seller always said they were quiet people that kept to themselves". This is only the beginning of a long road for the people that bought my house. It wasn't even 30 minutes after they pulled up in front of the house and they already had a problem with the neighbor. I wish I could have told the people buying my house to not buy it because of the neighbor. I don't want anybody to go through what we did, but if I did tell people, then I would still be living the nightmare. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

🙏 A Respectful Request to Our Community As we approach upcoming Hindu festivals and religious observances, I would like to make a humble request to our community in Canada. Recently, there was a discussion online regarding idols, religious materials, and ashes being found in local waterways. Whether these incidents are isolated or more widespread, they serve as an important reminder that our actions reflect not only on us as individuals but also on the broader community. Please do not dispose of idols, religious offerings, flowers, coconuts, cloth, ashes, or puja materials in Canada's rivers, lakes, ponds, conservation areas, or public spaces. Any tradition teaches us to respect and protect nature. In Canada, waterways and natural spaces are carefully protected ecosystems, and disposing of materials in them can harm wildlife, affect water quality, and create unnecessary environmental concerns. Many of us came to Canada seeking opportunities and a better future for our families. Canada has welcomed us, and it is our responsibility to show the same respect for its environment and public spaces that we would expect others to show for places that are sacred to us. Let us celebrate our faith in a way that honours both our traditions and the country we now call home. 🙏 Celebrate with devotion. Preserve with responsibility. Leave only respect behind. Please share this message to help spread awareness. submitted by /u/Impossible-Piano5646 to r/kitchener [link] [comments]

My previous post got downvoted to oblivion, claiming I was at fault for living on kangaroo land. so I am reposting with some context. I live on 250 acres in rural NSW. When we bought it 14 years ago it was an overused cattle property, grazed down to bare dirt and rock. We bought it to regenerate the land for wildlife. The past 14 years have been extremely hard work, weed control, feral animal control, erosion management, tree planting, watering, community awareness. In that 14 years, we have seen the return of an amazing diversity of plants, mammals, reptiles and birds. Roos, three types of wallaby, bandicoots, snakes, lyre birds, black cockatoos, and even platypus. We live completely off grid, our house and car run 100% on solar power, our water is rainwater that we collect. We do our best to help, and not harm our immediate environment and the greater world. My title is a bit tongue-in-cheek. Of course kangaroos have no road sense, they never evolved to calculate car trajectories. However, other animals seem to get out of the way just fine, the Roos are a bit “special” in that they seem to deliberately jump in front of cars. I drive in full awareness of how they behave. You will notice from my video that I am slowing significantly as soon as I see them, and let them pass. submitted by /u/hairy_quadruped to r/australia [link] [comments]

15 Jun 2026 Jansen has been facing criminal charges in Florida since his arrest there. He was recently extradited, I don't know the day but sometime last week. Someone paid his bond of $25K before his first hearing. Jansen is free in public. Jansen is getting a court date soon, but given his history of not showing up to court and having no way to contact him ever, he will likely be a no-show and need to get another warrant for skipping court. Be aware for all dog owners and people needing house sitting or any kind of sitting - Jansen is out in the public because someone paid his bail. Do not use sitting sites until you fully vet the sitter out and make sure it isn't Jansen. 16 May He has been caught! Found with his father in Florida. https://www.cbsnews.com/miami/news/andrew-lee-jansen-arrest-wanted-fugitive-florida-colorado-dog-5-16-2026/ 2 May Maverick was found dead trapped in my car today. I want to be alone now. 5 May Maverick is with CSU for a necropsy. This will take time. What happened to Maverick is being determined still. I saw Maverick, and he had suffered a great deal trapped in my car for weeks and possibly additional external injuries. I am awaiting the results from CSU. The level of cruelty will most likely become state-level crimes but still unknown. The police are still investigating and more warrants are coming. Trust me, I have as many questions about how my vehicle magically appeared in this apartment, somehow bypassing cameras, and how he got access there. Andy is still missing. - Wishes and plans My wish is to have Maverick buried and a memorial/vigil service. I will be planning this after the necropsy and keepsakes are made. I do not want him cremated, I am seeking a pet burial location in Colorado and working with VCA and others to assist on that. I am planning on a GoFundMe. BUT THERE IS NO CURRENT OFFICIAL GOFUNDME FOR MAVERICK BY ME AT ALL, SO IF YOU SEE ONE I DID NOT APPROVE IT. I am working on talking to an Animal Defense lawyer/attorney and need to hold off on creating the GoFundMe for a few more days. I have one in draft form but I have not released it yet, because I need to see who is paying for what damages and what is going to be compensated. Maverick is priceless, but my house and property still need tending to, so I will be seeking those payments. I truly feel the support from everyone, but I need to do this the right way, from a legal perspective because of all parties involved. I need to organize what I need and what is covered. As for a vigil, please standby, I am trying to plan one, but I just have a lot going on and still grieving myself. I needed some time away in the mountains this last weekend and to put my phone on silent for a bit. I tried uploading some more to Mav's insta, but got really sad and stopped. I'll be putting an extremely large photo slideshow of all Maverick and my adventures. FOX 31 and CBS Denver did some interviews yesterday afternoon. And CBS Miami reached out, but no interview yet. I need some help finding Maverick please! He has been missing 2 April at 8:18pm, last seen with Trustedhousesitter .com housesitter, leaving in my car. Housesitter is a missing and wanted person, and I reported Maverick and Subaru as stolen. I fear Maverick is trapped in a car or abandoned somewhere for drugs. Housesitter left without Maverick's food, medicine, or water, no bowls. He left all his clothes and drugs in my house. Aurora Police are slow to help but there are 2 reports being investigated. No speculation here. He has my dog and car. Housesitter is originally from Palmetto Bay Florida. I hired him due to a several-month deployment and his background check was good according to THS. Housesitter was fine for weeks, but then had an extreme case of Paranoia and attempted to barricade my house before fleeing. He did not contact any of my 4 emergency contacts that I left for him. He called the police and the fire department because he thought tiny people broke into my house and tried to set my house on fire. Authorities found nothing of the sort. I contacted my emergency contacts. Housesitter left before my emergency contacts could get over to my house to rescue Maverick. Housesitter DID NOT take any of Maverick's food, medicine or water. He did not take any of his own clothes, shoes, backpacks, and some other unmentionables. Maverick - Microchipped # 941000017479254 - 24petconnect, PetFBI, Pet911, PawBoost, Petco Love Lost, and many others as lost. - 11 years old. About 60lbs. - Left eye is blue, right eye is brown. Pinkish nose. - Missing toe. Limps paw occasionally. - Mild Arthritis, needs meds. - Siberian Husky. Attitude is grumpy old man with zoomies. Can be talkative. - Classic husky colorings, black and white, with a black spot on belly in the white fur. White star marking on the back of the neck. Beige “wings” behind the shoulders. - Collar is gray with black geometric patterns, leash is watermelon colored. Metallic Silver tag with white faded/worn mountains, and has his name on the front, on the back is all my info (address and phone). 2014 Subaru Forester 2.5i base model (no navigation or GPS) - BLUE in color. - License plate is BMEN70. It is a Colorado Parks & Wildlife novelty plate. - The vehicle was also stolen. - It has very dark-tinted windows - Two black front wheels. - Roof Rack. - It has a "Mountains Please" sticker on the back door. - A Haute-Savoie flag sticker, it looks like a red and white cross similar to Switzerland flag. - It has a very unique, custom Colorado Flag Subaru Logo. Housesitter - Andy Lee Jansen, from Palmetto Bay, Florida. Goes by Andrew, Andy or Drew. - 6’0”, est’d 280lbs - Blonde, dirty blonde. Originally had goatee, but suspect shaved into mustache day of disappearance. - Walks lazy/floppy, extreme paranoid behavior (looking for something) - Ceased all phone contact (no cell tower pings since 2 April early morning), emergency contacts refuse to respond anymore. Possibly 2 phones, but unknown second number. Dozens of emails. - No credit/debit cards, presumably closed all bank accounts. Likely uses Apple Pay (or other pay apps) for everything. Suspended drivers license. PLEASE HELP KDVR New Article and Video https://kdvr.com/news/local/airman-pleads-for-help-finding-missing-dog-car-after-trusted-house-sitter-disappears/ Original Post https://nextdoor.com/p/7YDCB9nx3gcL?utm_source=share&extras=ODM3MDUyNDk%3D&utm_campaign=1775680439220&share_action_id=16420e79-0a6d-43e8-8cd2-263e4f9ceb0a New Nextdoor post https://nextdoor.com/p/35WPdTRWS4xX?utm_source=share&extras=ODM3MDUyNDk%3D&utm_campaign=1777206979952&share_action_id=a4593528-e885-4c63-baa1-f713a018450e https://24petconnect.com/DetailsMain/Public/3059314 https://petfbi.org/api/view/781404/e08200a9#/ Mav's Insta https://www.instagram.com/maverick_ace_husky?igsh=MXRhYzVidHJ1MTB1cQ== *I am intentionally not sharing key details (photos) about Maverick due to scammers, AI fakes, and evil people threatening me and Maverick.* **** *Mini update* Mav's TikTok post - https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8gcPuJM/ *UPDATE* (28 April 2026): Met with detectives today. A couple of pieces of information came through and some new avenues to pursue. - Vehicle was spotted heading southbound I225 by FLOCK on Alameda on 2 April a few minutes after the Eastbound Mississippi/Peoria camera. (not sure why I just heard about this but, now I know he went south, which alleviates some immediate concern of airport parking and leaving mav trapped in car). Unfortunately, this now leads to I-25 for N or S....and all the I-225 exits after Alameda....still no new FLOCK hits. - The phone number that called the police to my house on the 2nd to investigate the false break-in was an entirely different phone number that I didn't have before. Unfortunately, it seems like Andy used a VOiP number and hasn't been active since 2 April. This is most likely the 2nd Iphone 11 I saw on my wifi. - Andy's recent history and prior criminal activity ***Edited out info for legal reasons***. No more info on this, but it makes my decision pretty clear moving forward. - With the frontier mileage number and the 2 texts from his emergency contact about a flight on the 3rd, the detective "may" have a path to get a warrant for flight info. Awaiting to see if this will rule out a flight and make me feel better that mav isn't stuck in the car at an airport. - Confirmed that Andy is listed as a felon for theft of vehicle and dog. Which means there will be way more police keeping watch across the nation. - Maverick's Microchip is now reported as stolen in the police database for when they scan him. I'm not 100% sure if this changes the National Registry or the HomeAgain flag just yet. All in all, I feel better about what the police are doing and pursuing. I am upset it takes so long, but today's meet up made it feel important at least. I'll be touching bases with private investigator soon. And there are news interviews coming in the next few days. *END UPDATE* **Mini Update 2.0 - 29 April** THS has blocked my forum post and replies. Hoping this is truly temporary. CBS Colorado Colorado airman pleads for help finding dog allegedly stolen by house sitter during deployment - CBS Colorado https://share.google/fl55oDt1IBdjbsWSe submitted by /u/AkBeckAnthro to r/Denver [link] [comments]

Edit: If the video doesn’t have sound for you (Reddit bug), you can view the video here: https://imgur.com/a/uWOvdZu There have been multiple videos posted on this sub about the noise emitted from the Vantage VA2 datacenter in Sterling. From what I have seen, they occasionally get dismissed because of background noise, wind, etc. This video was taken on 04/10/26 at 11:45 PM on a clear night with as little background noise as possible. The location I am recording from is about 10 yards from single family homes and town houses. While the noise from the datacenter was “only” about 55-60dB in front of the residences, it was much louder directly next to the datacenter. It’s also worth noting that the high pitched whining is emitted from the datacenter 24/7, which is extremely detrimental to the quality of life of residents and wildlife regardless of the noise level. Some days are quieter than others, especially when the wind is blowing south, but on a still day, this is the reality that locals have to accept living next to this datacenter. On warm or cloudy days, the noise easily penetrates into nearby homes. The reason why this particular datacenter is so loud is a result of Dominion Energy not being able to provide enough power to the datacenter due to an underpowered grid. At the last minute, Vantage adjusted their plans to run their site on “island mode” which runs natural gas turbines 24/7. From what I understand, this is the first time any datacenter has done this in VA, but they are planning multiple other sites to be run the same way. As a local resident, please help in spreading awareness of how terrible this situation is. I greatly appreciate all the attention and coverage that this site has already received, but sadly nothing has been done yet to resolve this issue. submitted by /u/press-ntr to r/nova [link] [comments]

Just want to clarify that this screenshot is from a video posted by Dombucha Gaming on Youtube showcasing this, not mine. He may have discovered it. I've pickpocketed 13 gold bars, but I've never seen an Abyss Artifact in someone's pocket myself. Must be quite rare. Also, there are nobles that you can pickpocket gold bars from in Hernand Town. The colourful costume wealthy people. They don't have the bunny masks like they do at at Demeniss Wildlife Park though. So you can pickpocket both gold bars and artifacts if you get lucky in Hernand Town. Demeniss Wildlife Park is still the go-to gold bar farm due to NPC density though. Both areas have fast travel points to reset the area for your next round of pickpocketing. submitted by /u/LogicalSongEnjoyer to r/CrimsonDesert [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Svamp89 I think someone is "playing" with me... Originally posted to r/DKbrevkasse Editors Note: translated from the original Danish TRIGGER WARNING: Mental health struggles, stalking and obsessive behavior Original Post Jan 6, 2025 This is going to sound a little crazy, but I need some advice anyway. Just want to start by saying that I've never had any problems with paranoia, delusions or psychosis, and I don't believe in ghosts or anything like that. I'm also 35 years old now, so it's unlikely that those type of mental issues would arise at such a late age. That being said, I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm pretty sure someone moves small things in my apartment when I'm not home. I live alone and no one, as far as I know, has a key to my apartment. I have two keys and both are in my possession (I have checked several times). I have tried putting glasses and plates on the table as a test before I go to work, and have taken pictures of them to compare with the pictures when I get home. So far I have not been successful in proving anything. The most obvious things that I have noticed that have moved are a plate I had breakfast on that day moved maybe 30 cm from where I put it, candles have moved from the center of the coffee table to the edge of the table, and a shampoo bottle has moved from one shelf to another that I never use to store shampoo on. There are several other things I have noticed, but they are very small things that "maybe/maybe not" could be me now that I am so aware of where everything is. My ex-boyfriend had the key to my apartment for many years before we broke up two years ago. We didn't fall out, and he has a new girlfriend now, so I'm 99% sure it's not him. He also works in Copenhagen now several days a week, while I live in Jutland. I have asked him on days when things have moved, where he was, and he has been in Copenhagen all those days. He shared his location on Messenger, so that was enough. What would you do? I have no evidence of anything and in principle I could have been sleepwalking or something and just not noticed the changes until I got back home from work. I occasionally sleepwalked as a child, but as far as I know it hasn't happened in maybe 25 years. It's starting to get pretty creepy… TOP COMMENTS GfxJG There is a well-known Reddit thread that sounds very similar to what you describe - It turned out that the person had severe carbon monoxide poisoning that created paranoia and delusions. I would strongly advise you to see if you can find somewhere else to sleep for the next few nights and then buy a detector - They are available at Bauhaus and the like. Maybe it's not, maybe you're just forgetful, but if it's carbon monoxide, you're messing with your life. OOP Thanks! I just googled it. I'm staying with my parents tonight and then I'll buy a carbon monoxide detector tomorrow, just in case. blacseal If that doesn't work, then you can buy a wildlife camera and set it up. It takes pictures when there is movement, so you can see if you are doing it in your sleep or what 🙂. Update Jan 22, 2025 [UPDATE] Hi again everyone :) A lot has happened since I wrote the post. I've figured out what's up with the “situation”. I bought two cameras, and set one up in the living room/kitchen and one in the entrance hall. It turns out my apartment actually has three keys and not two, as I thought. My neighbour (also 35 years old) apparently looked after the previous tenants' cat occasionally, and had a key to their apartment. She didn't return it after they moved out of what is now my apartment. We were pretty good friends to start with, when I moved in, but she became more and more “clingy”, to the extent that she would call up to 15 times a day, and talk for over 4 hours in total per day. I couldn't even leave the apartment without her wanting to know where I was going, and she would get angry if I didn't respond immediately to her messages, if I was asleep or busy. There was so much drama surrounding her, that I couldn't take it anymore, and chose to completely cut off contact. She has respected that for the most part, I thought. It turns out that she has let herself into my apartment and gone through my cupboards and drawers, and apparently deliberately moved my things around to make me paranoid. She can hear when I go in and out of my apartment, because her entrance is only 5 meters from mine - that's why she always knew when I wasn't home, even though I work shifting hours. I confronted her, and said that I would call the police. She panicked and contacted her father, who came over to me. He is a doctor and said that she has borderline personality disorder, and refuses treatment because she doesn't think she's wrong. He said she is impulsive, outwardly reacting and often feels a strong urge to “revenge” herself on people who she feels have treated her unfairly or let her down. This has apparently been a theme throughout her life with almost all her relationships; romantic and friendships. He practically begged me not to call the police, and said that he would do everything he can to prevent anything similar from happening again. I got him to pay for a locksmith to change the lock, and I said that I would report her to the housing association (who would then report her to the police), if she didn't voluntarily move out of the apartment as soon as possible, because I don't want her as a neighbour anymore. They both accepted that, and she has now chosen to move back to her parents at the end of February. So the ending was relatively good for me, albeit very chaotic. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This refers to moments or lore bits that, if we were to ignore the likely storytelling/gameplay/artistic intent behind this, would imply some random things. Likely things that the writer(s)/developers didn't think of. Avada Kedavra - Hogwarts Legacy (Image taken from ExitLag if you were curious.) Generally, this applies to all the curses, but I'll just focus on one. In HP lore, you can't cast a Forbidden Curse unless you really mean it. Hence, Crucio, Imperio, and Avada Kedavra are the only spells in the entire game you cannot cast outside of combat, as you lack a target you really want to kill/torture/possess. Inside combat though, it gets a little funny, as you can cast it on everything. While this would make sense against enemies like poachers and goblins (two forces the MC seemingly dislikes), you can also cast this on wild animals like spiders and wolves, which, would likely imply that MC has trauma tied to them or they just really hate wildlife for some reason. Additionally, if you either mod the game or stall your classes for as long as you can, you can use Avada Kedavra on the training dummies when you get a new spell. This, again, would imply that the MC hates this poor training dummy so much they want them to die immediately. While I'm at it, I might as well comment on the fact that both Hogwarts students and staff do not comment if you cast Crucio or Imperio in front of them, but only Avada Kedavra. This would, disturbingly, make it seem that they're completely fine with basically torturing someone or removing their agency, but instakilling (which would likely be more humane if we assume they die immediately) is where they draw the line. Yi - Nine Sols When Yi gets drunk, his face goes red. While this is likely just an artistic decision, if taken literal, this either means that Solarians have blood vessels in their hair/fur (which would make any kind of salon a bloodbath), or Yi just has very thin fur/low fur coverage on his face. Fire Underwater - SpongeBob Yeah, I know this is unfair since it's a cartoon, but come on. Plenty of times, we see fire despite Bikini Bottom being underwater. So either laws of thermodynamics don't exist, fire specifically made in Binkini Bottom is somehow strong enough to resist water, or some dome shit is occuring. The Weasleys' Finances - Harry Potter (Don't hesitate to correct me if I fuck up here. It's been a while since I've engaged in HP media and last time I tried to critique Harry Potter, I got a lot of things wrong.) HP often refers to the Weasleys as a poor family, often due to how a lot of things the Weasleys use are handed down, and just generally don't have a lot of money compared to other characters. Despite that, they own quite the large house (admittedly, it does look like it'll collapse if some harsh winds came around), have a garden, an entire coop of chickens (and food to feed them, too), and so on. So either economics in the wizarding world is quite different, the term "poor" has a different definition here, or several items (including the house and possibly a lot of the things in it) were inherited and passed down. Or maybe Arthur is just really good at nabbing a wild amount of stuff. (Edit: I'm aware that poverty looks different amongst different people. I've personally seen a lot of these, as I've traveled a lot myself and seen all kinds of places. Though, I do apologize if my analysis for #4 does come off as insensitive, as it's not what I intended.) submitted by /u/Monstertim1 to r/TopCharacterTropes [link] [comments]

Zoos where people come and look at animals in captivity are not prisons. Many zoos are research centers, veterinary hospital for wildlife, and education places. Conservation of animal life is helped by knowledge and awareness and zoos in many places serve that purpose. They are not circuses or marineland things, the animals are not working and trained. They just go on with their life and are taken care of by professionals. So yes some animals might be sad in a zoo, but zoos are not allthat bad. In the list of bad things for animals : owning a horse in an enclosed space submitted by /u/BrightAd8009 to r/unpopularopinion [link] [comments]

Source: http://mymodernmet.com/simon-needham-lion-photography/ submitted by /u/Limp_Yogurtcloset_71 to r/BeAmazed [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Limp_Yogurtcloset_71 to r/interestingasfuck [link] [comments]

They’re coming for our home. Our beautiful, ancient home. The forests here are old and fragile, and they intend to take them away from us. They intend to take them away from all of us. We cannot allow this, these forests are our birthright. These forests are our homes, our livelihoods. Half of Appalachia depends on these forests for income, food, education, careers, and more. If they take these forests away, then we have failed. We have lost. Don’t let them. Don’t allow them to. We have the power to prevent such a travesty, and we must use that power. Call your representatives. Email them. Write to them. Paint signs, take to the streets and the forests themselves. Do not let this go. Do not allow them to take this from us unimpeded. Do not go quietly. Many things they want to take can be granted back with the signing of an order. These trees cannot. Once they are gone, they are gone. Once the animals that call them home are dead, they will not come back. The overwhelming amount of rot that this will cause will never be forgotten, and you and I will never be forgiven if we don’t fight for them. I am of the belief that we should truly lay our lives down for the land they intend to rob from us, but I cannot encourage you enough to fight back legally and safely. But for those of you who believe that diplomacy has long left us, logging equipment is expensive, and prone to malfunction. It takes a long time to replace equipment that isn’t working properly. Not suggesting anything, it’s just good to know. Edit: couple days later and this post is still getting action so I wanna clarify a couple of things. Firstly, a ton of commenters are seemingly convinced that I voted for, or supported Donald Trump. I don’t know how that could possibly be gleaned from any portion of my post, but to be clear: I didn’t vote for Trump lol. So stop commenting “why’d you vote for this?” Secondly. A few commenters took issue with the birthright part of my post, which I get it. Obviously this land, and almost every other part of land in the world was stolen at one point or another, and blood was shed. Unfortunately, the land we are on now was stolen much more recently than most, which is an undeniable tragedy. My comment was not to take away from that. I am including native Americans and indigenous people in that comment. Neither of us want to see the forests torn down again and precious wildlife displaced and extinct. (Also, I hate to be the guy to claim heritage that’s only a part of me, but I do have pride in that part of me. I wish I knew what tribe and what origin, but my native grandmother was not informed of it, and any information about her heritage was not given to her.) Thirdly, yes, I’m aware that trees grow back. But just because they’ll grow back in 50 years, does that mean we should allow entire species of animals to perish? Does that mean that we should live a lifetime without these forests, just because they might be back when we are 85? submitted by /u/FutureRevolutionary- to r/Appalachia [link] [comments]

Yesterday, thousands of public land employees, including around 1,000 National Park Service staff, were fired. Our parks are now more understaffed, overburdened, and vulnerable than ever. With fewer rangers on the ground, it’s vital that we do our part to protect these spaces. As part of our journey to visit all 63 U.S. National Parks, we’ve seen firsthand how critical park staff are—not just for maintenance and safety, but for preserving these incredible landscapes for future generations. National parks are more than just places to visit—they are living history, irreplaceable ecosystems, and sacred lands that deserve protection. While so much of what is happening is troublesome, don’t fall into a doom spiral. There are things each and every one of us as individuals can do to help. What you can do:✅ Leave No Trace—pack out all trash, stay on trails, and respect wildlife. ✅ Be patient & kind—remaining staff are doing their best under impossible conditions. ✅ Respect the land—fewer rangers doesn’t mean no rules. ✅ Take action—call your representatives and demand better funding for public lands. These parks belong to all of us, but they won’t stay that way if we don’t step up. If you love our public lands, share this to spread awareness! Let’s keep fighting for these places before it’s too late. submitted by /u/Katieandjoeonthego to r/NationalPark [link] [comments]

What is Fred Racoon about? FRED RACCOON – a new member in the realm inspired by the unforgettable story of Peanut the squirrel and Fred the raccoon. Fred’s journey, though cut short, resonated deeply with fans around the world, highlighting a powerful message of compassion, connection, and the importance of wildlife protection. As a tribute to Fred’s legacy, FRED RACCOON aims to foster a community committed to wildlife preservation and awareness. Join us as we honor these beloved creatures and support efforts to protect animals everywhere. Fair, Transparent, Multiple burnt, token ownership renounced Check out the tokenomics and official links down below for more information about this gem of a project! Don't miss out on this!!!!! Links down below $TOKENOMICS Token Name: Fred The Raccoon Token Symbol: FRED Network: ERC20 Contract Address: 0x0f23059A8c0c5Af7656bdd0c4206D09636c6CC75 Socials and Official Links: Tg: @ fredtheraccoonerc20 X: https://x.com/FredRaccoonERC Website: https://fredtheraccoon.vip Always remember to DYOR and this is NFA. Everything written in the post is my personal opinion and not technical analysis or advice. submitted by /u/uCool2230 to r/CryptoMoonShots [link] [comments]

Still not the Original Poster. That's still u/Scared-Weakness-6250. New Updates starting in March begin with ****\* I removed ALL previous comments included in the last posts so I could fit this in one post AND added TLDRs. You can find the most recent BORUs here, here, and one with full comments here. A reminder that this sub has a 7 day waiting period so the last update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: entitled people get some commeuppance, but take others down with them Original Post: July 22, 2023 OOP reluctantly goes to a family bbq. OOP's nephews and nieces push people into the pool and eventually try with OOP. OOP sees this coming from a mile away and steps out of the way and the kids fall in, along with the phone they were holding to record. OOP's sisters got pissed for "almost letting their kids drown" and because the phone is now at the bottom of the pool. They insist that OOP should have let the kids push him into the pool and OOP needs to apologize. OOP is voted NTA Update Post: August 17, 2023 (Almost 1 month later) TLDR of first half of post: OOP spends the first part of this post explaining that the kids were fully capable of swimming and that the party ended on a sour note. Turns out drunk BIL who face-planted had to get stitches. Sisters and BILs texted mean shit to OOP and he and his wife blocked them. Mom and Dad were pissed at the texts and made the sisters apologize and 'end this nonsense.' OOP thought things were over but instead gets a text from one BIL saying OOP needs to reimburse them for the phone. OOP refuses, sends a screenshot to his parents and says he's going no-contact with sisters. In what OOP says is an out of character move, Dad calls sisters and 'rips them a new one.' Grandkids are no longer welcome at their place indefinitely, which messes up the free babysitting Mom provides. They are banned from the vacation house and he tells them that OOP owns that vacation house, not the parents. Sisters freak out. Sisters and husbands come over unannounced to apologize a few days later- OOP and wife are out at dinner so they leave a note. OOP decides no contact is the best option for now. Update 2 Post: August 26, 2023 (9 days from previous post) (Editor's note- Just wanted to include this first line) Well, it's been an interesting last few days. I thought the shit had hit the fan before but it was more of a fart compared to what's happened this week. TLDR: OOP provides financial context here: OOP's sisters think parents are dripping in money when in fact they are not. Turns out oldest sis and her fam have been living beyond their means and are in need of a loan (which parents can't give). She's also been renting out the vacation house once a month or so for the last 3 years and has been keeping the money. Other sister was aware of this and possibly has rented it out previously as well. OOP's parents feel awful and let OOP know. They figure that the sisters will try to convince OOP to let them rent out the house- turns out they're right. The sisters show up and practically force their way inside OOP's house to convince them to let them use the place. They also say (quoting from OOP here): "I've been a shitty brother and that I needed to "step up" and plan on paying for their kids' college tuitions since "that's what family does"." OOP calls them out on their bullshit and there's a huge blowup and the sisters leave. OOP is exhausted, frustrated and drained. Update 3 Post: September 12, 2023 (2.5 weeks from last update) TLDR: OOP's parents decide they're done managing the vacation home (keeping track of who was using it, routine maintenance, etc) because sisters keep pressuring them to use it. OOP feels bad for his parents because he wanted them to be able to use it regularly and now dynamics have changed, but he gets it. OOP locks the gate with a heavy duty chain and lock, resets all keypads and creates new codes, gets security cameras and has signs put up saying the area is monitored by video. OOP gets a call from both husbands trying to convince him to let them use the house "like they always have." Oldest BIL tried to go up with some friends but couldn't get in. He threatens on the phone to basically break in and acts completely entitled. Other BIL sounds like he is being made to call by sister. OOP obviously says no and considers selling the home. He also has no plans to initiate contact with sisters and they are not talking with him. Update Post 4: October 16, 2023 (1 month later) TLDR: OOP hires a guy to manage/look after the vacation home. Parents are continually pressured by sisters to tell OOP to open up the vacation home for Thanksgiving. They refused and instead said they would organize a gathering at an Airbnb if everyone split the cost, otherwise they would host at their place. This causes and argument because middle sister is for the Airbnb, oldest sister doesn't have any money. So Thanksgiving will be at parents' house but OOP and wife won't be there. Parents ask OOP to not sell for now as they would like to still use the place, but won't until sisters have come to terms with the "new normal." Wife and OOP have stayed no contact with sisters, but they have called and left messages (OOP says "F you Google Voice") demanding OOP meets with them and work out "how everyone can use the 'family vacation home'." OOP doesn't respond. OOP also does not plan to turn the vacation home into an Airbnb. This part is directly from the post: My parents tell me that the oldest sister and her husband are getting out of the leases for their SUV and big ass truck and are selling their jet skis and some other shit they've never needed. That's going to be really hard on her, she's quite the braggart and won't like being seen in something older / smaller / cheaper. My BIL's identity is very much wrapped up with his truck as well, he even has a small tattoo of the truck company's logo. Which frankly is one of the many reasons why he and I never hung out. Update Post 5: November 27, 2023 (1.5 months later) Title: Update #5... Crap. Wrote most of this yesterday but decided to wait to post it until I wasn't so wound up. Waiting didn't work, I'm still wound up. Sorry if this rambles, so much has happened, hard to write coherently. Things have gone to hell. I really, truly did not think anything like this would happen. Short version: My brothers in law broke into my vacation home and were arrested. They've been charged with breaking and entering, destruction of property and communicating threats, all Class 1 misdemeanors. I've refused to drop the charges. I might do so if I'm fully paid for the damage they caused. They were still in jail as of Saturday evening, I assume they're out by now. Things had settled down, at least I thought so. Haven't seen or heard from my sisters in over six weeks. My parents went up to the house for a week and had a good time. David - the property manager I hired - has worked out great, he's done a couple of repairs I asked him to do and I've given him a list that he's going to work on. He usually sends a photo or two of wildlife or a sunset to his clients every week, was kind of making me want to get up there. Friday after Thanksgiving my BILs went to my vacation home. They used an angle grinder to cut through the chain on the driveway gate and damaged the gate in the process. They tried to get in through the front door, ruined the lockset and gouged the door badly. They finally got in through the utility floor door and a locked internal door. They also broke into the barn, I'm not sure why. When they went out through the front door where they were met by sheriff's deputies and David. David gets notifications from the camera system when there's activity, he saw what was going on and called the sheriff's department. According to David the BILs tried to bullshit their way out of it but the deputies didn't buy it. Breaking into an empty house is a pretty serious thing up there, usually it's meth heads who ransack the place and hock everything. When the BILs were arrested they freaked out big time, were saying how they were going to beat the hell out of me, etc... Not smart to do in front of cops. David and the sheriff's office tried calling my wife and me to see what we wanted to do but we were spending the day with her parents and had left our phones in the car so we could be in vacation mode. So they booked the BILs on everything, which is what I would have asked them to do anyway. BIL's called their wives from jail who of course freaked out; they called my folks, tried to call me (they're blocked), tried to find a lawyer up there to arrange bail (not easy to do given that it's a rural area and was a holiday weekend). Older sister has zero cash and her cards are maxxed out so if they made bail my middle sister would have had to pay for both husbands. I know they were still in jail as of Saturday afternoon. We didn't check our phones until late Friday on the way home from the in laws. There were a ton of calls and messages from my mom, dad, David and the sheriff's department. Talk about ruining a great day, I was in such a good mood til I looked at my phone. My wife read through the texts and listened the messages, read them out to me and by the time we got home I had some idea of what was going on. I put my brain back into thinking mode, tried to get past my anger, failed. Called David and got the rundown on what had happened and how bad the damage was, resulting in more anger. I ended Friday by calling the sheriff's department and telling them there was no misunderstanding, the BILs had absolutely no right to be on my property and I wanted to press charges. I didn't call my folks back. Barely slept. I waited until Saturday afternoon to call my folks. They were both pretty rattled about it all, my mom in particular. My sisters had browbeat them into telling me I should tell the cops it was all a mistake and that I wanted the charges dropped. I refused flat out, told them there was no way I'd do that until I spoke with an attorney and also not until I was paid in full for whatever it will cost to fix everything 100%. My mom was crying hard by the time we got off the phone which of course made me feel like shit. My dad suggested it was time for a complete start over but also said he thought they needed to pay for the damage. I haven't gone up to the property yet. There's nothing I can do and I'll probably go nuts when I see the damage in person, the photos are bad enough. I'm hoping to tomorrow or Wednesday but my job isn't one I can just wander off from for non-emergencies. I've left messages with two attorney friends asking them to recommend the right lawyer(s) to go after my sisters and BILs. I don't know what I can do exactly but I'm hoping to get restraining orders (I have all the texts they've sent me, that might help). I'm strongly considering suing them for the money they made renting the place, I don't care about the cash but it will help make them as miserable as possible. The gloves are definitely off at this point. A couple of side notes: BILs had no idea I'd hired someone to keep an eye on things or that there are cameras there now. My parents knew but hadn't told them because they knew it would just give my sisters a reason to drama up. There are signs on the property stating it's being monitored with cameras and no trespassing signs though. My wife has completely had it at this point. I don't blame her, she's been more than patient about it all but she reached her limit and was not shy about letting me know. She told me its up to me how I deal with this but that she thought they all needed to be taught a hard lesson. Older BIL likely won't face any repercussions at his job over this but middle BIL has a security clearance so he might. I'm hoping that will be motivation for middle BIL to pay for the damages himself immediately. David (the caretaker) has an interesting background. I knew he was friends with some of the deputies, figured it was because they were all locals. I was wrong, he was a cop in a big city for years, was shot on duty and afterwards decided to quit and move to where his parents had retired. He has some PTSD over it all, his dog is a certified service animal and is usually with him. I know law enforcement people tend to hang together, I guess that's how they became his friend group. I don't want to see or speak with these Aholes for the rest of my life. I know this is in direct conflict with my overwhelming urge to make their lives as miserable as possible. Update Post 6: December 2, 2023 (5 days later) Didn't think I'd be doing another post this soon but a lot has happened over the past two days. Short version: I think the corner has been turned on this crap. Thursday afternoon I got a courier-delivered envelope at my office. In it was a signed letter from both my brothers-in-law and a cashier's check for $5000. In the letter they made what I have to say was a really sincere apology. Among other things they acknowledged breaking in, acknowledged it was wrong, said the $5000 was to pay for the damage and that they'd pay more if it cost more than that. Also said they'd stay away from the vacation home unless my wife and I specifically invited them. They also asked that I do what could to get the charges dropped as soon as possible because they both could lose their jobs and that they'd agree to a restraining order or whatever else it took for that to happen. There was more as well, all conciliatory, but that's the gist of it. To say this was a shock is an understatement. It was (obviously) a total 180 from their past behavior. I'd already made an appointment with an attorney to see about suing my BILs over the damage and to try to get a restraining order. I called him and told him what I'd just received and he agreed to meet with me at the end of the day instead of next week. Told me not to deposit the check. We met for about two hours. He ended up recommending the wife and I do a "settlement and mutual release agreement" with all four of them (sisters and BILs). He said if we went after them via a lawsuit that we'd almost certainly win but that it could take two years or more, there would be sizeable up front legal fees and that we might never see any money. He also said we could keep the $5000 free and clear even if we didn't let them off the hook. He's drawing up the agreement, it won't be ready until Monday. The agreement will include what's essentially the civil equivalent of a restraining order. I'd already asked my property manager to work up a bid to get the damage repaired. I called him after the meeting and asked that he get me as close an estimate as possible ASAP. Got that Friday, he thinks it will take around $4000 to fix everything. Most of that is for the front door. On Friday my attorney contacted each of the BILs, told them what we were proposing and advised them to get their own lawyers. They both agreed to it. The middle BIL told him they could afford to either pay for the damages or pay for a lawyer but not both and they figured a lawyer wouldn't make any difference given that they really had no defense for what they did. His biggest concern was if the charges could be dropped. From what I can tell they're willing to do anything / sign anything to make this all go away. My attorney also called the DA's office on Friday to discuss dismissing the charges, got the name of the prosecutor and left them a message but has not spoken to them yet. He thinks they'll dismiss the charges because the BILs are paying up and they have no priors, but then again he's not a criminal lawyer. Also said I should be prepared to drive up there Monday or Tuesday and tell the prosecutor in person that I want everything dismissed. He's also advised me to continue to be no contact with sisters and BILs especially for the next six months and that it will be really important to follow the terms of the agreement when it comes to future interactions with them. I'm guessing that the BILs change of heart is due to them having figured out what's at stake for them, what it's going to cost them in legal fees and fines and so on. There's also the (highly unlikely) possibility that they could go to jail for up to 120 days, and as I've mentioned one of them has a security clearance for his job that could be at risk. So this is their Hail Mary pass to keep their normal lives. This isn't a perfect resolution to the situation, but at least it will get me past the legal and financial parts of the shit show that I've been in for the past few months. I doubt I'll ever have a civil relationship with any of them ever again and that's fine. What I want most at this point is to close this off, get on with my life and never speak to any of them again. I'm exhausted from this. Wife feels pretty much the same way. Kind of a side issue but getting the written apology was, weirdly, a huge moment for me. I wasn't expecting that ever but apparently it matters to me quite a bit. The money doesn't feel particularly important at this moment. I'll damn sure take it though. Also I'm pretty certain my middle sister and her husband came up with the money. The cashier's check is from the credit union of the company he works for. Once things are signed I plan to make one more update, probably just an edit to this post. I'm sorry for being so pedantic. Writing these posts has helped clear my head and the feedback has really helped. I truly appreciate everyone's comments, insights, and support. And I really, really hope none of you ever have to go this kind of nonsense. Update Post 7: December 7, 2023 (5 days later) Tuesday morning I met with my attorney went over the agreement. Changed a couple of minor things and he sent it to my sisters and brothers-in-law. It included a requirement that they pay my attorney's fee (about $3000). They weren't happy about that and tried to negotiate it away, but he told them they either accept it as is or there would be no deal at all and we'd proceed with suing them for the money they got from renting out the place, wear and tear from renting it, repair costs from their break in, emotional distress, lost income from having to deal with this, attorney fees and whatever else we could. He also told them I would push hard with the DA's office to prosecute every charge. Short version, they came in and signed. I wasn't there. I'm told it was a pretty tense environment, that the middle BIL appeared to have taken charge and that at one point he told both of my sisters to shut the hell up or he was walking away from the whole thing, making his own deal with us and the rest of them could all go to hell. They provided another cashier's check for $2500, claimed that's all they had. It's close enough that we're going to accept it as the final payment. Attorney also told me that everyone was very cold and curt towards one another, but that they all managed to keep it together long enough to sign and left without making too big of a scene. I drove up to the vacation house early yesterday to check out the damage and meet with the DA's office. Seeing the damage made my blood boil, it was so senseless. I was so pissed that I was ready to eat the cost of repairs and do everything I could to ruin their lives. Tried walking it off, failed utterly. Ended up calling a good friend who was kind enough to stay on the phone for over an hour letting me spew and vent. He eventually got me back to focusing on the bigger picture of putting this behind me and getting on with my life. Honestly I'm still not sure that's what I want to do but I settled down enough to get some food in me and I felt better. After lunch I went he DA's office. Hadn't made an appointment and had to wait a while but got to meet with the assistant DA who's got the case. Short version is that since I don't want to prosecute and the BILs have already paid for the damages that they are willing to drop all the charges except trespassing, which in this case will be a class 2 misdemeanor. The BILs will have to plead guilty and pay whatever fine the judge sets. I'm also told that if they fight the trespassing charge or ever so much as fart in public up there that it would go very poorly for them. It helped that the BILs didn't resist arrest, if they had none of the charges would have been dropped. I also went by the sheriff's office to thank them for getting there so quickly and everything. Wanted to thank the deputies personally but only spoke to the dispatch person. And I tried to meet up with David (the property manager) but couldn't get hold of him. A couple of notes: The agreement includes a no contact clause. Basically if any of them show up where my wife or I are (or the other way around) whoever got there last has to leave immediately. No contact except through attorneys or other "mutually agreed upon third parties". They get to keep whatever they made from renting the vacation house (my big "give") unless I have tax consequences which they will be responsible for. And we release each other from all other liabilities up through the present. There's more to it than that but those are the high points. Wife and I will sign the agreement later today. After that I can't talk about most of this but I can talk around it. I think this is my final update regarding all this nonsense but I'll respond to comments if I can. As I've said before, posting about all of this and reading folks thoughts and responses has been really helpful and has probably been key in my being able to handle this in a relatively healthy way. So thank you all again. *****New Update Post: March 16, 2024 (3.5 months later, 8 months from OG post)****\* Title: March 2024 - Oldest sister & BIL have filed for bankruptcy Thought it would be worth an update for anyone who's interested. Unsurprisingly my oldest sister and brother in law have filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. While I don't care about what happens to them financially or otherwise they've also managed to drag my parents into their mess, which I'm not happy about. At the start of the year my BIL's oversized-customized-pride-and-joy truck was repossessed. Pretty embarrassing for him I'm sure, happened at work. This was their breaking point, without the truck they have to share a Kia my parents loaned them and they can barely fit in it with their three kids. Financially they're f'd. They owe at least $125K (probably more) on high interest credit cards, they have zero equity in their house, and have a couple of personal loans that I'm pretty certain they got under false pretenses. They have loans on their jet skis, ATVs and trailers. They also owe a chunk of money from defaulting on the truck lease. They hadn't made any payments on their credit cards or loans in months and were behind on their house payments as well. They got out of the lease on my sister's massive SUV late last year. They were upside down on it as well so had to come up with cash to do so. They also had to pay an attorney, the fine and court costs for my BIL's trespassing charge at the vacation house. And they owe my middle sister and her husband money for bail and their portion of the damages to the place. As I've mentioned before my folks have never been financial wizards, but they have at least been generally responsible. They're retired, their home is paid off and they live off of social security and pensions. Altogether they get more than they spend. Minimal savings, just an emergency fund. Turns out my folks emptied out that fund, cashed out their small IRA (~$20K) and gave it to my sister. That let her catch up on the house payment and cover the negative equity on her car lease. But now literally every bit of savings my parents possessed is gone. Plus my parents have been paying for their groceries for several months and continue to pay the insurance on the car they loaned my sister. According to my dad my sisters worked my mom for weeks to get her to fork over the money. They'd worked on both my folks at the same time for a while but my dad flat out refused every time. Eventually mom caved, she was worried that my sister would have to move to a hovel in some backwater town and that the kids would be barefoot and eating dirt. Dad's not happy about it, and to say there's some tension between them right now is an understatement. But they'll be fine. I was pretty disappointed when my parents told me all this but I wasn't surprised. It sucks that that they emptied out their savings to help but I kind of get it, the way the bankruptcy laws are in our state by getting caught up on the home loan my sister should be able to keep the house. I tried hard not to say how I felt about this and my sisters, mostly succeeded. Really I'm way more pissed about this than I should be. The worst part for me is that my sister and BIL could now contact me and my wife without any real fear of repercussions. The only penalty the no contact agreement has is that if they violate it we can go after them for the money they made from renting out the vacation house and related damages. Since they've filed for bankruptcy that's now not an impediment for them. I'm hoping they'll leave us alone but who knows. Folks also told me that my middle sister and her husband have "hit a rough spot" and that he's not currently living with her and the kids. Just a guess but I imagine he's had it with the whole family dynamic that caused this nonsense. Not directly related, but on a brighter note I've spent two weekends at the mountain house since the start of the year, once with my wife and once alone. Both times there was a lot of snow. It was incredibly beautiful and relaxing. Very therapeutic. The place also has good Internet service now (thanks Starlink) which is nice. Plus knowing that I can count on David (the property manager) to keep the place in shape / ready for us to visit and to help if we get snowed in eliminates most of the stress in owning it. My folks have used it a few times as well and get along great with David. Relevant Comments: Could you get a restraining order? If they start up again I do indeed plan to get a restraining order. In fact my wife made it clear to me she expects a very hard approach to any BS from them going forward - which I agree with of course. I had the security cameras at our house upgraded at the start of the year just in case they come by. I also kept all their previous texts and provided screenshots to my attorney for safekeeping. If they cause any trouble at the vacation house they're toast, the sheriff's department and DA's office have the full story and are sympathetic to our situation. If they lose their home, they may demand to live in the mountain house or with your parents: Thankfully my folks live in an over 55 community so they can't move in there. Plus the house is not anywhere near large enough for seven people unless everybody stays in the "great room" all the time. And God knows where they'd park. Living in the vacation house isn't practical for them either, again something I'm happy about. With traffic it's probably three hours from there to my BIL's job. They'd have to have 4WD vehicles to live there year round too. Plus from what I understand the schools there are not very good (I'm being polite), and as much as I dislike my sister I'll say that she's all in on keeping her kids in good schools. They can afford their current house once they get through bankruptcy, assuming they change how they spend. I think they'll have to, no one in their right mind would lend them money or give them a credit card. The won't be able to take fancy vacations or swap out his truck every couple of years for an even bigger one (yeah, I admit, that goddamn truck fetish of his really bugs me) but they'll live just fine. It's not like a family of five is going to suffer when they're taking in close to $200K per year. Hopefully I'm not being Pollyannaish about all this. They should have sold the truck and other things MONTHS ago: To be fair (and this is according to my parents) they tried to sell the ATVs and watercraft. But the value on those things drop like a rock the moment you buy them and they were upside down on the loans. So they eventually just quit paying on them. Also this reminds me - when they broke into the vacation house they also broke into the mini barn. Turns out my older BIL had stowed his two ATVs in it. Just guessing but I think he was going to take them, report them stolen, get an insurance settlement and sell them on the sly. (I found out in January that the ATVs were there and paid to have them taken to my dad's place; he had my BIL pick them up from there.) Also, I don't think my BIL was expecting the truck to repo'd. I think he was working to catch up on the payments so they'd have one good vehicle. The finance company must have just run out of patience. Don't blame them, he's a fuck up. Commenter: They must have been making quite a packet from their fraudulent vacation home income for it to impact their finances to this extent. OOP: I think they were grossing at least $50K per year, probably more. Tax free, it was never listed on Airbnb as far as I can tell, they'd rent to friends, friends of friends, etc. $125,000 on CREDIT CARDS???? $125K is my estimate based on my sister telling my parents they were racking up least $3000 per month just in credit card interest. She thought it might be more. Their credit was already crap before the bankruptcy so I'm guessing they might be paying as high as 28% interest. If so they'd owe about $125K. If they're paying a lower interest rate the principal would be higher. But yeah, it's an absurd amount. And that $3000 doesn't include all the other interest they're paying. And of course there's the principal that just sits there. On the other hand I'm told they had a great time going to Disney World for a week so there's that. If your parents ask you for money, make sure to make them sign something: Since all this started I've given a fair amount of thought regarding my parents and their possible (likely) need for money in the future. I've come up with an approach that I think will work for me. It's a bit mercantile but it's the best way I've come up with. If and when my parents need money I'm going to do a formal loan secured by their home. Basically it will be a private HELOC (home equity line of credit) at market interest rate. They can pay it back or not but when they go to sell the house or die I'll be first in line to get paid, with interest. This means they can waste it on my sisters if they choose to but at the end it will come out of the sisters' share of the house. I'll end up paying for my folks end of life care after they run out of money / equity in their house regardless of course. It's not like my siblings will contribute. Middle BIL: Younger BIL seems to be more decent than I've given him credit for in the past. I'll admit to a bit of myopia, for years I've seen the four of them and their kids as just one mass of inconvenient people I have nothing in common with but can't avoid. But he seems to have hit his limit and made some changes. Hope it works out for him and that he pulls my sister in the right direction. How sisters got so entitled: My sisters (and I) weren't raised to be like they are. When I was young they weren't any more self entitled than any other teenagers. We all worked crappy teenage jobs, didn't get spoiled, it was really a very standard suburban upbringing. We weren't super close but we weren't enemies. Somewhere along the line after going off to college they changed for the worse. I guess it could be worse, they could have become drug addicts or militant vegan volcano worshippers or whatever. But they sure became people I don't want to be around. And yes, the pool incident was the spark for the meltdown but the fuel had been accumulating for years. It would have come out at some point that she was renting the house out on the sly and things would have gone to hell then just like they did now. December 2024 BORU with updates here submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes and her own page Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4 EDITOR’S NOTE: Removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older comments, check out the previous BoRUs above Please note that OOP's latest new updates were not on this sub NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment RECAP Original Post: November 14, 2023 I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them. Update #1: November 27, 2023 Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook. Update #2: December 12, 2023 So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays. Inheritance: December 16, 2023 I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much. Christmas: December 25, 2023 I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve. Brother’s call: December 26, 2023 Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited. Brother's Here: December 27, 2023 My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive! Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024 I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space. Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024 My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys. This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression. Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly. My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined. Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone. ----NEW UPDATE---- Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024 Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care. Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them. We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office. Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it. RELEVANT COMMENTS fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks! OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder. I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it. MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play. OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't. As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.   Update: February 27, 2024 My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits. Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her. There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet. Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game! RELEVANT COMMENT Ok-Meeting-8588: That sounds nice, and I hope this does get resolved peacefully. Just make sure the pastor doesn’t try to use the whole “mistakes were made on both ends so everyone needs to apologize because everyone equally messed up.” You did nothing wrong and you don’t owe anyone any apologies. OOP: Oh, I definitely plan on it. Dad's confirmed that we did nothing wrong, that we were done dirty, and I think he passed that on to the pastor. Though, I am expecting some "turn the other cheek" talk, which is to be expected.   Latest Update here: Final BoRU   THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am still not the Original Poster. That's still u/Scared-Weakness-6250. New Updates starting in November begin with ****\* I removed ALL previous comments included in the last posts so I could fit this in one post AND added some TLDRs. You can find the most recent BORU here, and one with full comments here. A reminder that this sub has a 7 day waiting period so the last update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: Victory-ish for OOP Original Post: July 22, 2023 (Removed from AITA, preserved in comments) OOP reluctantly goes to a family bbq. OOP's nephews and nieces push people into the pool and eventually try with OOP. OOP sees this coming from a mile away and steps out of the way and the kids fall in, along with the phone they were holding to record. OOP's sisters got pissed for "almost letting their kids drown" and because the phone is now at the bottom of the pool. They insist that OOP should have let the kids push him into the pool and OOP needs to apologize. OOP is voted NTA Update Post: August 17, 2023 (Almost 1 month later) TLDR of first half of post: OOP spends the first part of this post explaining that the kids were fully capable of swimming and that the party ended on a sour note. Turns out drunk BIL who face-planted had to get stitches. Sisters and BILs texted mean shit to OOP and he and his wife blocked them. Mom and Dad were pissed at the texts and made the sisters apologize and 'end this nonsense.' OOP thought things were over but instead gets a text from one BIL saying OOP needs to reimburse them for the phone. OOP refuses, sends a screenshot to his parents and says he's going no-contact with sisters. Second half of the post (not a TLDR): At that point the shit really hit the fan. Dad called them and ripped them a new one. Among other things he told them the grandkids were not welcome at his place indefinitely. Since my mom regularly provides free babysitting that got them pretty rattled. He also banned them from using the vacation house and told them my wife and I actually own it, not he and mom. This completely freaked them out - both of my sisters' / families use the place a lot including having their friends up for weekend getaways. This was very much out of character for my folks. They'd clearly had it. And for reference, I never wanted my sisters to know we own the place. We bought it for my folks, they'd always wanted a place in the mountains. Keeping the ownership quiet was just a way to avoid drama with my siblings. A couple of days later my sisters and their husbands came to our place unannounced to apologize in person. We were were out to dinner and they left a note. One sister also called me at work too, I sent her to voicemail. We've decided being no contact is the best thing for the indefinite future and haven't interacted with them for the last 3+ weeks. Personally I'm done, they can go pound sand. Update 2 Post: August 26, 2023 (9 days from previous post) (Editor's note- Just wanted to include this first line) Well, it's been an interesting last few days. I thought the shit had hit the fan before but it was more of a fart compared to what's happened this week. TLDR: OOP provides financial context here: OOP's sisters think parents are dripping in money when in fact they are not. Turns out oldest sis and her fam have been living beyond their means and are in need of a loan (which parents can't give). She's also been renting out the vacation house once a month or so for the last 3 years and has been keeping the money. Other sister was aware of this and possibly has rented it out previously as well. OOP's parents feel awful and let OOP know. They figure that the sisters will try to convince OOP to let them rent out the house- turns out they're right. The sisters show up and practically force their way inside OOP's house to convince them to let them use the place. They also say (quoting from OOP here): "I've been a shitty brother and that I needed to "step up" and plan on paying for their kids' college tuitions since "that's what family does"." OOP calls them out on their bullshit and there's a huge blowup and the sisters leave. OOP is exhausted, frustrated and drained. Update 3 Post: September 12, 2023 (2.5 weeks from last update) Yet another update regarding the cluster f that is my extended family. Thought it might be time given what's gone on over the past two weeks. After my sisters came to my place my mom and dad told me they were done with managing the vacation home. Sounded like the sisters had been pressuring them to let them use the place again. Basically my folks handed the responsibility for place over to me and told me it was my problem from here on out. Up until then they'd kept track of who would be using it when and they'd taken care of routine maintenance, replacing worn out items, etc. In any case they decided they didn't want to be in the middle of all this crap. While I don't blame them I'm disappointed because the damn place was supposed to be something for them to enjoy and hang out in and they use it regularly. Plus I've never cared that they let my sisters and their families use it, because really I've always thought that was my parents' call even though I technically own it. But now my folks are going to be in the position of not having access without me being involved and that changes the whole dynamic of the place. I've taken several steps to secure the place. I already mentioned that I locked the gate, it has a heavy duty chain and the best lock I could find. I also did a full reset on all the door keypads and created all new codes. Security cameras got installed yesterday, which is actually pretty cool because the installer convinced me to put a high res one that looks out over the valley. The system cost me way more than I thought it would but the peace of mind is worth it. The installer also put up signs on the property saying the place was monitored by video. I also installed a heavy duty lockout for the water shutoff / drain valve. I hope to hell I don't lose the keys for it because if I do it's going to be a bear to try to remove. Haven't told anyone but my wife that the water is locked off and again, only we have the keys. Last week I got separate calls at my office from both of the husbands trying to convince me to let them use the house "like they always have". The older one had gone up with some friends for a guy's hangout but couldn't get in because of the gate lock. He was pretty pissed and embarrassed about being locked out, I'm sure he would have broken the lock if he could have. During his call he kept bouncing between pushy and victimhood. At one point he threatened to "rip that gate outta the goddamn ground". He also admitted they'd been renting it out to "a few friends", that they needed the money, I was ruining their "business" and that I should refund their guests' money (Me?? F that). I should have recorded the conversation with him but I don't know how to do that from an office phone anyway. The other BIL just sounded like he was being made to call by my sister, he didn't really put up a fight when I told him not to plan on ever using the place again. In any case I told them they can't use the place and not to ask again. At this point I'm considering selling the vacation home. Wife and I won't use it enough to justify keeping it and it's not like there's going to be any family get togethers there anytime soon. I mentioned selling it to my folks, their response was pretty much "whatever". I'd more than double my money by selling it, the place consists of three lots with killer views and is at the end of a private road. But I'll probably wait for a while to sell, doing so now would be an emotional decision. My sisters and I aren't currently speaking and I have no plans to initiate contact. I don't know what the status between them and my folks is and I don't want to. On the upside, we spent an evening with my folks last week, went to a new restaurant that was nice. No one brought up any of this crap. Mom did update us on the nieces and nephews, she's spending time with them at their homes. Sorry this update isn't full of laughs or owns, that's just life sometimes. Update Post 4: October 16, 2023 (1 month later) A couple of people have asked for an update, here you go. I hired a guy to manage / look over the vacation home. He lives in the area, takes care of his folks and manages a good number of properties, some are vacation rentals, some are weekend places like ours. He has access to my camera feeds and does a physical check on the place every week or two. I think he may have the best job in the mountains, he gets paid to drive around with his dog, walk around the properties and hangs out on people's decks whenever he feels like it. He also has a camera feed from a house near the start of the private road that takes still shots whenever a vehicle goes past it. $450 per month plus he'll do basic maintenance and repairs on an hourly basis. He's friends with all of the sheriff's deputies too. Got a lot of peace of mind from doing this. And he sends photos from his walks to everyone once or twice a week. I have to brag a bit on my parents (I got all this from them tonight at dinner). They were getting pressure from my sisters to demand that I open up the vacation house to everyone for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving up there had become quite the tradition for the family (not for me or my wife, we've gone once in seven years). My dad refused to bother me about it because he knew I'd say no. They came up with what I think is a great plan, announced that they were organizing the Thanksgiving gathering and - if everyone split the cost in advance - they'd rent an Airbnb in the mountains. Otherwise they'd host Thanksgiving at their place or one of the sisters could host it. This caused a fight between the sisters because the middle sister was all for doing the Airbnb but the oldest one doesn't have any money. The deadline to commit to the Airbnb has passed, looks like Thanksgiving will be at my parents' place. Regardless, we won't be there. My parents have asked that we not sell the place for now, they decided they'd still like to use it occasionally but not until my sisters have come to terms with the new normal. And of course they'd probably like it if everyone could get together there again down the road, but that's just not going to happen. I'd just as soon sell it and move on at this point but I can live with keeping it if my folks do use it now and again. Plus it will be worth even more down the road. Wife and I have stayed no contact with my sisters and their husbands. Both sisters have called from new numbers (F you Google Voice) and left messages insisting that I meet with them "for our parents' sake" to work out how everyone can use "the family vacation home". They called my wife too. I'm glad I was already in the habit of not answering calls if I don't recognize the number. I honestly don't know if they're delusional or if they think they can bully me into giving them access again. Don't really care. My parents tell me that the oldest sister and her husband are getting out of the leases for their SUV and big ass truck and are selling their jet skis and some other shit they've never needed. That's going to be really hard on her, she's quite the braggart and won't like being seen in something older / smaller / cheaper. My BIL's identity is very much wrapped up with his truck as well, he even has a small tattoo of the truck company's logo. Which frankly is one of the many reasons why he and I never hung out. Several people have suggested I make the vacation home into an Airbnb. I don't plan to do so, at least anytime soon. I know it would make money but it would cause an incredible amount of drama across the family and would stress out my parents. They don't need that. It would also be a hassle to remove personal things my folks have there, that stuff has nowhere to go. And there would be wear and tear on the place. And I'm sure it would take some amount of time on my part even though I'd use a manager to do it. Just not worth it to me. *****Update Post 5: November 27, 2023 (1.5 months later)****\* Title: Update #5... Crap. Wrote most of this yesterday but decided to wait to post it until I wasn't so wound up. Waiting didn't work, I'm still wound up. Sorry if this rambles, so much has happened, hard to write coherently. Things have gone to hell. I really, truly did not think anything like this would happen. Short version: My brothers in law broke into my vacation home and were arrested. They've been charged with breaking and entering, destruction of property and communicating threats, all Class 1 misdemeanors. I've refused to drop the charges. I might do so if I'm fully paid for the damage they caused. They were still in jail as of Saturday evening, I assume they're out by now. Things had settled down, at least I thought so. Haven't seen or heard from my sisters in over six weeks. My parents went up to the house for a week and had a good time. David - the property manager I hired - has worked out great, he's done a couple of repairs I asked him to do and I've given him a list that he's going to work on. He usually sends a photo or two of wildlife or a sunset to his clients every week, was kind of making me want to get up there. Friday after Thanksgiving my BILs went to my vacation home. They used an angle grinder to cut through the chain on the driveway gate and damaged the gate in the process. They tried to get in through the front door, ruined the lockset and gouged the door badly. They finally got in through the utility floor door and a locked internal door. They also broke into the barn, I'm not sure why. When they went out through the front door where they were met by sheriff's deputies and David. David gets notifications from the camera system when there's activity, he saw what was going on and called the sheriff's department. According to David the BILs tried to bullshit their way out of it but the deputies didn't buy it. Breaking into an empty house is a pretty serious thing up there, usually it's meth heads who ransack the place and hock everything. When the BILs were arrested they freaked out big time, were saying how they were going to beat the hell out of me, etc... Not smart to do in front of cops. David and the sheriff's office tried calling my wife and me to see what we wanted to do but we were spending the day with her parents and had left our phones in the car so we could be in vacation mode. So they booked the BILs on everything, which is what I would have asked them to do anyway. BIL's called their wives from jail who of course freaked out; they called my folks, tried to call me (they're blocked), tried to find a lawyer up there to arrange bail (not easy to do given that it's a rural area and was a holiday weekend). Older sister has zero cash and her cards are maxxed out so if they made bail my middle sister would have had to pay for both husbands. I know they were still in jail as of Saturday afternoon. We didn't check our phones until late Friday on the way home from the in laws. There were a ton of calls and messages from my mom, dad, David and the sheriff's department. Talk about ruining a great day, I was in such a good mood til I looked at my phone. My wife read through the texts and listened the messages, read them out to me and by the time we got home I had some idea of what was going on. I put my brain back into thinking mode, tried to get past my anger, failed. Called David and got the rundown on what had happened and how bad the damage was, resulting in more anger. I ended Friday by calling the sheriff's department and telling them there was no misunderstanding, the BILs had absolutely no right to be on my property and I wanted to press charges. I didn't call my folks back. Barely slept. I waited until Saturday afternoon to call my folks. They were both pretty rattled about it all, my mom in particular. My sisters had browbeat them into telling me I should tell the cops it was all a mistake and that I wanted the charges dropped. I refused flat out, told them there was no way I'd do that until I spoke with an attorney and also not until I was paid in full for whatever it will cost to fix everything 100%. My mom was crying hard by the time we got off the phone which of course made me feel like shit. My dad suggested it was time for a complete start over but also said he thought they needed to pay for the damage. I haven't gone up to the property yet. There's nothing I can do and I'll probably go nuts when I see the damage in person, the photos are bad enough. I'm hoping to tomorrow or Wednesday but my job isn't one I can just wander off from for non-emergencies. I've left messages with two attorney friends asking them to recommend the right lawyer(s) to go after my sisters and BILs. I don't know what I can do exactly but I'm hoping to get restraining orders (I have all the texts they've sent me, that might help). I'm strongly considering suing them for the money they made renting the place, I don't care about the cash but it will help make them as miserable as possible. The gloves are definitely off at this point. A couple of side notes: BILs had no idea I'd hired someone to keep an eye on things or that there are cameras there now. My parents knew but hadn't told them because they knew it would just give my sisters a reason to drama up. There are signs on the property stating it's being monitored with cameras and no trespassing signs though. My wife has completely had it at this point. I don't blame her, she's been more than patient about it all but she reached her limit and was not shy about letting me know. She told me its up to me how I deal with this but that she thought they all needed to be taught a hard lesson. Older BIL likely won't face any repercussions at his job over this but middle BIL has a security clearance so he might. I'm hoping that will be motivation for middle BIL to pay for the damages himself immediately. David (the caretaker) has an interesting background. I knew he was friends with some of the deputies, figured it was because they were all locals. I was wrong, he was a cop in a big city for years, was shot on duty and afterwards decided to quit and move to where his parents had retired. He has some PTSD over it all, his dog is a certified service animal and is usually with him. I know law enforcement people tend to hang together, I guess that's how they became his friend group. I don't want to see or speak with these Aholes for the rest of my life. I know this is in direct conflict with my overwhelming urge to make their lives as miserable as possible. Relevant Comment: "A lot of people have said I should have been hard ass about all of this from day one. I've avoided it because it would have stressed out my parents and I hate this kind of drama but f it, they're stressed out now. My wife has pretty much opted out of any more to do with this, doesn't want to hear about it for a while and says it's in my lap. She'll ease off on that but I'm guessing she's not going to get involved from now on other than listening to me blow off steam. Edit: Regarding why they broke in - Conjecture on my part but I think they were planning on using it for family getaways and/or renting it out again. According to David (the property manager) it's deer season through the end of the year. I know the BILs have used it in the past as "base camp" for big group hunting weeks. It sleeps quite a few people so one event with friends could net them thousands of dollars. Again, I'm guessing here but that would explain why they broke into the barn as well, I bought a 6 seater Mule a few years back and they would want use that. I don't think they wanted to trash the place, it means too much to my dad and they both like him a lot." Update Post 6: December 2, 2023 (5 days later) December 2, 2023 (Saturday). Didn't think I'd be doing another post this soon but a lot has happened over the past two days. Short version: I think the corner has been turned on this crap. Thursday afternoon I got a courier-delivered envelope at my office. In it was a signed letter from both my brothers-in-law and a cashier's check for $5000. In the letter they made what I have to say was a really sincere apology. Among other things they acknowledged breaking in, acknowledged it was wrong, said the $5000 was to pay for the damage and that they'd pay more if it cost more than that. Also said they'd stay away from the vacation home unless my wife and I specifically invited them. They also asked that I do what could to get the charges dropped as soon as possible because they both could lose their jobs and that they'd agree to a restraining order or whatever else it took for that to happen. There was more as well, all conciliatory, but that's the gist of it. To say this was a shock is an understatement. It was (obviously) a total 180 from their past behavior. I'd already made an appointment with an attorney to see about suing my BILs over the damage and to try to get a restraining order. I called him and told him what I'd just received and he agreed to meet with me at the end of the day instead of next week. Told me not to deposit the check. We met for about two hours. He ended up recommending the wife and I do a "settlement and mutual release agreement" with all four of them (sisters and BILs). He said if we went after them via a lawsuit that we'd almost certainly win but that it could take two years or more, there would be sizeable up front legal fees and that we might never see any money. He also said we could keep the $5000 free and clear even if we didn't let them off the hook. He's drawing up the agreement, it won't be ready until Monday. The agreement will include what's essentially the civil equivalent of a restraining order. I'd already asked my property manager to work up a bid to get the damage repaired. I called him after the meeting and asked that he get me as close an estimate as possible ASAP. Got that Friday, he thinks it will take around $4000 to fix everything. Most of that is for the front door. On Friday my attorney contacted each of the BILs, told them what we were proposing and advised them to get their own lawyers. They both agreed to it. The middle BIL told him they could afford to either pay for the damages or pay for a lawyer but not both and they figured a lawyer wouldn't make any difference given that they really had no defense for what they did. His biggest concern was if the charges could be dropped. From what I can tell they're willing to do anything / sign anything to make this all go away. My attorney also called the DA's office on Friday to discuss dismissing the charges, got the name of the prosecutor and left them a message but has not spoken to them yet. He thinks they'll dismiss the charges because the BILs are paying up and they have no priors, but then again he's not a criminal lawyer. Also said I should be prepared to drive up there Monday or Tuesday and tell the prosecutor in person that I want everything dismissed. He's also advised me to continue to be no contact with sisters and BILs especially for the next six months and that it will be really important to follow the terms of the agreement when it comes to future interactions with them. I'm guessing that the BILs change of heart is due to them having figured out what's at stake for them, what it's going to cost them in legal fees and fines and so on. There's also the (highly unlikely) possibility that they could go to jail for up to 120 days, and as I've mentioned one of them has a security clearance for his job that could be at risk. So this is their Hail Mary pass to keep their normal lives. This isn't a perfect resolution to the situation, but at least it will get me past the legal and financial parts of the shit show that I've been in for the past few months. I doubt I'll ever have a civil relationship with any of them ever again and that's fine. What I want most at this point is to close this off, get on with my life and never speak to any of them again. I'm exhausted from this. Wife feels pretty much the same way. Kind of a side issue but getting the written apology was, weirdly, a huge moment for me. I wasn't expecting that ever but apparently it matters to me quite a bit. The money doesn't feel particularly important at this moment. I'll damn sure take it though. Also I'm pretty certain my middle sister and her husband came up with the money. The cashier's check is from the credit union of the company he works for. Once things are signed I plan to make one more update, probably just an edit to this post. I'm sorry for being so pedantic. Writing these posts has helped clear my head and the feedback has really helped. I truly appreciate everyone's comments, insights, and support. And I really, really hope none of you ever have to go this kind of nonsense. Relevant Comment: "To be honest when I finally got home Thursday night I cried from relief thinking this might all be over. I'm not going to discuss the settlement with my folks until it's signed by everyone. My sisters / BILs can if they want to but I'm not, it's between me and them." Final Update: December 7, 2023 (5 days later) Tuesday morning I met with my attorney went over the agreement. Changed a couple of minor things and he sent it to my sisters and brothers-in-law. It included a requirement that they pay my attorney's fee (about $3000). They weren't happy about that and tried to negotiate it away, but he told them they either accept it as is or there would be no deal at all and we'd proceed with suing them for the money they got from renting out the place, wear and tear from renting it, repair costs from their break in, emotional distress, lost income from having to deal with this, attorney fees and whatever else we could. He also told them I would push hard with the DA's office to prosecute every charge. Short version, they came in and signed. I wasn't there. I'm told it was a pretty tense environment, that the middle BIL appeared to have taken charge and that at one point he told both of my sisters to shut the hell up or he was walking away from the whole thing, making his own deal with us and the rest of them could all go to hell. They provided another cashier's check for $2500, claimed that's all they had. It's close enough that we're going to accept it as the final payment. Attorney also told me that everyone was very cold and curt towards one another, but that they all managed to keep it together long enough to sign and left without making too big of a scene. I drove up to the vacation house early yesterday to check out the damage and meet with the DA's office. Seeing the damage made my blood boil, it was so senseless. I was so pissed that I was ready to eat the cost of repairs and do everything I could to ruin their lives. Tried walking it off, failed utterly. Ended up calling a good friend who was kind enough to stay on the phone for over an hour letting me spew and vent. He eventually got me back to focusing on the bigger picture of putting this behind me and getting on with my life. Honestly I'm still not sure that's what I want to do but I settled down enough to get some food in me and I felt better. After lunch I went he DA's office. Hadn't made an appointment and had to wait a while but got to meet with the assistant DA who's got the case. Short version is that since I don't want to prosecute and the BILs have already paid for the damages that they are willing to drop all the charges except trespassing, which in this case will be a class 2 misdemeanor. The BILs will have to plead guilty and pay whatever fine the judge sets. I'm also told that if they fight the trespassing charge or ever so much as fart in public up there that it would go very poorly for them. It helped that the BILs didn't resist arrest, if they had none of the charges would have been dropped. I also went by the sheriff's office to thank them for getting there so quickly and everything. Wanted to thank the deputies personally but only spoke to the dispatch person. And I tried to meet up with David (the property manager) but couldn't get hold of him. A couple of notes: The agreement includes a no contact clause. Basically if any of them show up where my wife or I are (or the other way around) whoever got there last has to leave immediately. No contact except through attorneys or other "mutually agreed upon third parties". They get to keep whatever they made from renting the vacation house (my big "give") unless I have tax consequences which they will be responsible for. And we release each other from all other liabilities up through the present. There's more to it than that but those are the high points. Wife and I will sign the agreement later today. After that I can't talk about most of this but I can talk around it. I think this is my final update regarding all this nonsense but I'll respond to comments if I can. As I've said before, posting about all of this and reading folks thoughts and responses has been really helpful and has probably been key in my being able to handle this in a relatively healthy way. So thank you all again. Relevant Comments: "I had a hard time not being vindictive but right now I'm glad I wasn't. If they cause more drama down the road I'll probably regret it but if they follow the agreement that won't happen. The family dynamics are, like you said, pretty much f'd. I've only told my parents that we're trying to work things out, nothing more. They may or may not be OK with the way things will be moving forward but I had to do what was best for my wife and I. I'm guessing that my sisters have told them a very slanted version, that's just one more turd I'll have to swim around. Really the agreement is more a formalization of how things have been for the last few months. I know it's not how my folks wanted things to go but I'm pretty happy with it." Have your sisters ever shown this level of entitlement before? "Not really. Not towards me anyway. We used to be OK, never very close but not enemies. Looking back they started to resent me when I bought a loft when I was 25. At that point neither of them owned a home but both had met their future husbands. They definitely didn't like that got a place before they did. It got worse when I met my wife. They didn't like that she was part of a wealthy family especially since I was doing pretty well by then myself. Accused me of being elitist and such. When we got married I moved in with my wife (her condo was close to where she was doing her fellowship) and I sold the loft. Our wedding was fancy but reasonable but the sisters were definitely envious about it. After that they and their husbands got pretty petty and we started minimizing our involvement with them. The profit from selling the loft, being frugal and not having a house payment are what enabled me to buy the vacation home for my parents. My folks were OK with hiding the fact that I owned it instead of them because they knew my sisters would be bitchy about it and say that I was using my wife's money. I didn't, most of our finances are separate, though it definitely helped that I didn't have a house payment. Up until this crap started I actually thought we were OK in the general sense. Our daily lives were / are very different and I can't pretend I enjoy being around them for more than half a day but I didn't think they hated me. I did know that both sisters had become pretty spoiled / entitled but it wasn't my concern. And I didn't have any real conflicts with my brothers in law either, just almost nothing in common with them.I guess that's a long winded way of saying I didn't know they were all such assholes." One last thought: "My small fantasy at this point is that I never hear from them again." Editor's note: OOP includes some more specifics about the contract and answers some questions on his final post. Those comments were too long to include here, but if you have questions or are interested, feel free to check out the link (just no brigading!) Edit March 2024: New post just dropped! https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1blktxo/a_new_update_35_months_later_to_the_saga_aita_for/ submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Originally posted by u/Brave-Class5418 in r/AmItheAsshole on Dec 14, '22, updated in the same post. Original post AITA for not helping my disabled sister with college I (f24) have 4 siblings Max(m31) Lisa(f20) Chris(m20) Emily (f18). Emily is disabled and because of that, my parents dedicated themselves 100% to her, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves. When Max left for college, I became the main caregiver for my siblings + all household chores were my responsibility. I want to make it clear that Emily' disability does not stop her from functioning like any other person and she doesn't require any assistance or supervision or 24/7 care. However, my parents have always spoiled her rotten, and she is very rude, mean and entitled. My parents raised her with the mentally that her disability means she's allowed to do whatever and everyone needs to bend backwards for her. My grandparents passed away 3 years ago and I inherited everything approximately $6m. They were very well off, I know. The reasons i received all of it is because: When my grandparents were sick Max contacted them after almost 10 years of silence because he wanted to know how much he will receive (I'm NC with him btw). They were very aware of how my mom treated me and my siblings and she was disowned. They were very religious and Lisa came out as bi at 14 and Chris came out as gay at 17. I went NC with my parents after I moved for college and when Lisa and Chris started college I offered to cover all of their living/educational expenses as long as they do well in school. They gladly accepted. I also helped my bff Lola(f21) start her own business. I haven't spoken to my parents in 6 years. I haven't blocked them, they just never called/texted. This year Emily started college and she burned out all of her college fund in less than 4 months because she is a spoiled brat and bags were more important than rent lol. In addition she is doing horrible in school because she isn't even attending her classes and she will most likely be expelled or held back. My mom called me 2 weeks ago to not ask but demand that I do for her the same i do for Lisa and Chris. I said no because growing up i was literally a slave for her and my parents. I'm helping Lisa and Chris because they are the only ones that treated me as family. I ended the call by telling her that for 18 years Emily was their only kid so now they have no right to demand anything from the kids they practically abandoned. Now I'm getting shit for everyone (except Lisa and Chris) because: I'm causing unnecessary drama. I'm causing a rift between Emily and her siblings. Emily will be the only one without a degree. It's not really my money and my grandparents would want me to help her. (Then why didn't they leave anything for her?). Family is family and i should help my little sister (i don't buy into that crap) It's not her fault that my parents were bad parents to me (true but she doesn't do anything to change her behavior) She's disabled and it's not ok to discriminate (wtf?). I feel like I'm doing the right thing but everyone in telling me I'm not so AITA? Edit: i received a lot of messages with questions and a few asked in the comments about my sister' disability so I'm going to answer some questions. What disability does she have? Idk. My parents never told me and when anyone asked they would get very defensive. Can't Emily get governmental assistance? No because she doesn't have documentation that atests she is disabled. I remember my parents fighting about taking my sister to different doctors because they all refused to sign she was disabled. Why doesn't the rest of my family pay for her? Because they are living paycheck to paycheck because they would spend thousands on buying Emily whatever she wanted. Why can't my parents continue paying? Because Emily' spending problem got worse since she left home and the rest of the family is no longer in the position to give them money. Also my dad gad a work accident a few months ago and he was forced to retire so now their income has significantly reduced. How can someone spend that much? Simple. She renewed her closet, purchased a very expressive car and just partied until she dropped. For reference, my parents have high paying jobs and Emily college fund was around $587k when i left for college. Did me and my siblings have a college fund? Nope. We all worked out asses off to get scholarships so we can go. And i do have a will in place. If anything happens to me all the assets will be split equally between Lisa Chris Lola and an organization fighting for wildlife. FYI: writing these I'm starting to question if my sister is actually disabled or if it was just what my parents wanted to believe. I mean... If no doctor would declare ger disabled is she really? My family thinks she disabled because she did learn how to walk until she was 5 and she didn't talk until she was 7. Maybe she was just a slow developer? Update: so funny thing. My favorite uncle called me a couple hours after i made the post to tell me to block my family because they have come up with a "plan" to get me to pay. He didn't know what the plan was he just heard a portion of the conversation between my mom and my aunt. And just like he said my mom called a few minutes later to tell me Emily is pregnant so i need to help her because if i don't I'm damaging my niece/ nephew. I crying with how hard i started laughing and i just told her to f off. I blocked them all. But seriously.... Fake a pregnancy lmao Flairing this concluded as OOP has told her parents to fuck all the way off and has finally blocked them submitted by /u/KittenDealinMama to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

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