Adopt Me Build

... proposed that we officially adopt the YMS-14 Gelgoog as...The same thing that made me love early Gouf variants....right, like you and me." He even tells Al to... event left for me to show now. What happens ...one last event for me to show, I actually almost ...Units This Update Let me preface this: I tried to ...What do you want me to say? It's the ace ...sold for resources. Never build another one of these, please. ...

... model and then customize their build with mods, which alter car... first-time players naturally acknowledge and adopt these features, or if they... thread or reach out to me directly to get the schedule ...

... model and then customize their build with mods, which alter car... first-time players naturally acknowledge and adopt these features, or if they... thread or reach out to me directly to get the schedule ...

... game," admitting she chose to "adopt the shell of a character." ... something exists. That immediately made me think of a spectrum between ... sense is just something we build to fit our own values... themselves through "symbolic systems." To me, that feels like a nod ... existence? In the end, to me this feels like the game ...

... ahead; they are going to build the Long March 9. In... and others appear poised to adopt as well. While a multinational ... #universe, feel free to Follow me as these are the topics ...

... west has been slow to adopt ISR because amonia in soils... poster kids cost more to build a mine as this is ... before it that which- Let me check - failed But only ... capital sucked in to later build trial mining and labs for ... Stella financial results but Let me check - delivered nada! And ...

​ ESPN continued to report Antetokounmpo’s desire to leave Milwaukee, and the team held superficial trade talks with New York. Ownership tried to assuage Antetokounmpo’s discontent by re-signing his older brother Thanasis Antetokounmpo. It was only then that ESPN stopped. But even the signing failed to smooth everything over. Waiting until late August to finalize Thanasis' minimum deal irritated the family and its representatives. “I have seen them make every decision with the foundational piece being, ‘What will Giannis think of this?’” one team source said of the top of the organization. Added another:“And that is what has gotten us to this point.” The team also signed Giannis' youngest brother, Alex, to a contract that gave him his first chance at playing in the NBA. The brothers' personal skills coach Mike Kalavros also was allowed to travel with the team. These deals bothered Rivers and other coaches, as they felt the organization had bowed too much to appease their star player. To them, Antetokounmpo wanted things both ways. “Giannis said so many things,” a former coach said, “It stems from your actions, which is, 'My brothers have to be on this team.' Well then, are you about a championship? 'Cause they’re not only not helping us win a championship, it’s creating dissension.” Horst, meanwhile, appeared to try to appease Rivers with a different preferred player. The Bucks signed Amir Coffey, who began his career under Rivers with the Clippers. The team would cut former draft picks Chris Livingston and Tyler Smith to make room for the veteran. Then on the team’s media day on Sept. 30, on a Zoom call from Greece because he and the team said he contracted COVID-19, Giannis Antetokounmpo challenged the veracity of Edens’ statement that they had the on-court “meeting” at the practice facility in early May. Edens was annoyed, but two high-level team sources said he did not carry a grudge. Rivers held another remote training camp in 2025, this time in Miami. Even with a roster that had been completely turned over from the one he took over in 2023-24 (only two rotation players remained), Rivers and the Bucks were still chasing the culture they tore down. Antetokounmpo was already over it. He said they were not a championship favorite. He stressed they would have to play hard, play connected, and operate with elite spacing on offense. Winning would be tough without such discipline. The team started better than the previous year, but was rough around the edges. With Antetokounmpo leading the offense as its primary playmaker, the team started 7-5. But then, Rivers inexplicably decided to pivot away from a fast-paced offense that surrounded Antetokounmpo with elite shooters. He benched Trent, promoted Kuzma and began to pull Turner off the floor. The team remained undisciplined, from cutting their running lanes short to turning the ball over and fouling too much. Rivers did not stress offensive rebounding and the Bucks continually operated at a possession deficit, even as players routinely said the modern game required teams to crash the glass. Members of the staff acknowledged they were disorganized, not rooted in any firm principles, and were too late to adjust their concepts and play styles. “What are we doing?” almost became a season-long mantra. ..... On March 24, the players association asked if the Bucks were in violation of the league’s player participation policy. The star escalated the dispute, electing not to finish the West Coast road trip with the team in Portland, instead staying in Los Angeles to work out on his own. In early April, Antetokounmpo pressed the issue further, welcoming a formal league investigation into the team. Ultimately, the Bucks were cleared of wrongdoing. At one point, Haslam had a verbal confrontation with Saratsis over the entire matter. “It’s personal now," said a former coach. "It’s gotten to vitriol.” Antetokounmpo felt ownership and Horst had quit on the season by forcing him to sit out, even though the team was mathematically still in the play-in race. To him, it was a cardinal sin. But Antetokounmpo’s unavailability (he missed 46 games entirely and played only 12 games fully healthy), the petulance with which he did play, combined with those speaking to ESPN on his behalf in contrast to his public declarations of commitment, had worn out the ownership, coaching staff, even the locker room. Yet throughout the season, Horst appeared unaware of how his team, once a model of structure, discipline and culture, had so quickly withered. The general manager had been noticeably absent much of the season, scouting the upcoming draft class. “He definitely took a bunker mentality, but I’m not sure I blame him,” a former employee said. Rivers, who had grown tired of answering questions about the team’s decision-making on Antetokounmpo’s playing status, said on April 3 that grown men needed to talk about it. His comment was seen as a not-so-veiled shot at the player, Horst and perhaps ownership. With just a few games to go, Athentetokounmpo was clear he wanted to play in at least one game with Thanasis and Alex. The team was done acquiescing. “I care about what he feels and what he cares about,” Horst said on April 7. “I have his entire career. But it doesn’t mean that you always just do what someone else wants." The three brothers never set foot on the court together in a game. March 2026: Doc Rivers calls it a career Ironically, one of the last meetings Rivers called actually hit home. On March 20 in Phoenix he told a group of select veterans he would begin curtailing their playing time. Then he opened the floor for an airing of grievances. Players spoke, and it was a constructive, respectful discussion. Rivers did not lash out. One person in the room couldn’t believe it. “Everyone was finally being honest with each other now that we don’t have a chance,” a coach said. By late March, Rivers turned in-game coaching duties over to Ham and admitted he did not meet expectations. It was a hard self-assessment for the Marquette graduate. “I was brought in here to take the team to the next level and that just never happened,” Rivers said March 31. “It never materialized. It doesn’t matter the why. From a coaching perspective, you feel like the city that you’re from you didn’t get the job done, and that is something I carry very heavy with me.” May 2026: Too many mistakes on all sides Following the last game April 12, the Bucks were stranded on the tarmac at Philadelphia International Airport. It was a fitting end to a terrible season. Rivers joked they couldn’t get rid of him. Antetokounmpo grabbed control of the music, and played songs littered with farewell messages. But who were they really for? Everyone on the team knew Rivers was leaving, and after the season finale in Philadelphia he effectively gave a farewell press conference. But, he wouldn’t say it. Instead, he wanted the team to announce his departure. When told of Rivers’ clear insinuation, Antetokounmpo’s eyes widened. “Oh, that changes a lot then,” he exclaimed. Whether that reaction was sarcastic, spontaneous or an attempt to send a message, it underscored how Rivers making it to the end of the season had exacerbated the disconnect between Antetokounmpo and the organization. It's hard to know Antetokounmpo's level of self-awareness, but whatever buttons he tried to push, or methods of communication he felt best to use, fell just as flat as those of the head coach. Antetokounmpo let it be known he did not like locker room leaks, but his mental state was chronicled nearly all season by anonymous sources. He pleaded for accountability but then tried to pass off those reports as someone else’s doing. He would call his teammates selfish but then stand on a visiting team’s court with a former coach and yell about how that person would make sure he got the ball. By the time the team got back to Milwaukee from Philadelphia, Rivers’ office was already cleaned out. Within days, the Bucks had all but hired a new head coach Antetokounmpo personally liked, respected and wanted to play for in former assistant Taylor Jenkins. Horst knew this, too, although Antetokounmpo was not directly looped into the process. “I don’t think Milwaukee is just getting just a good coach, I think they’re getting a good person,” Antetokounmpo told the Journal Sentinel. “And that’s where it starts, with having a good person around that’s going to be able to set the tone, that set the culture and what Milwaukee Bucks basketball is all about.” Antetokounmpo had determined all the Bucks could do to convince him to remain with the organization was a maximum contract of $275 million over four years. Even that might not be enough to persuade him. Despite a March proclamation that his relationship with the team could be salvaged with “couples therapy,” Antetokounmpo said on April 12 he was going to put his phone on “do not disturb” and not answer it. “Just stay away from it – all of it,” he said. “I feel like this season, not just because of the way it went, it was draining for me for sure and how everybody approached my situation and the Bucks situation. But again, if it was draining for me, it was definitely draining for the team and for the organization." For their part, ownership told Jenkins, the new coach, he should not assume Antetokounmpo would be on the roster. The team eventually brought Jenkins in with a six-year deal worth around $60 million. Jenkins and Antetokounmpo spoke on several occasions after his hiring, but other than that, Antetokounmpo stuck by his statement that he was not going to pick up the phone. No other messages or calls from the Bucks to their star player were answered heading into June. The Bucks did not communicate to his representatives about some of their discussions with potential trade partners, either. Antetokounmpo also did not allow any member of the team’s strength and conditioning staff to oversee his workouts in Milwaukee or Greece, despite being under contract. One of the most dominant, explosive eras in basketball effectively ended in the quiet – except for the sighs of relief from those who believed it was just time for it to be over. For many, the lessons of arguably the greatest era in franchise history won't be positive. “When I own a team or run a team there will be things that I do and don’t do and decisions that I make and don’t make that I’ve learned from the experience of rising with the Milwaukee Bucks,” Connaughton told the Journal Sentinel, “and dare I say the experience of getting to where the Bucks are today.” Antetokounmpo, too, told the Journal Sentinel if he were to ever become a head coach, he would adopt Budenholzer’s ethos. “I’m doing exactly the same thing – I’m changing nothing,” he told the Journal Sentinel. “Coach ‘Bud,’ he knew how to create a culture. A thousand percent.” To him, the organization had lost its way, letting all the elements that made Milwaukee a special, winning place slip away – and therefore making the Bucks indistinguishable from any other NBA franchise. “Some way, somehow, I have to get there again,” Antetokounmpo told the Journal Sentinel. “It doesn’t necessarily have to be with me being the main guy and all that. If it is me, great. But I want to be there again. If that’s going to be me being there as a role player, if that’s going to me being there as the fifth option, if that’s going to be me being there as the No. 1 guy that takes them there, I don’t give two (expletive). I want to get there again." The team will now try to build a new foundation with a coach rooted in the same principles of culture-building as the man who first constructed it in 2018. Giannis Antetokounmpo, the granite cornerstone, will not be a part of it. Source: https://www.jsonline.com/story/sports/nba/bucks/2026/06/24/how-the-giannis-antetokounmpo-era-in-milwaukee-came-to-a-bitter-end/90478839007/?gca-cat=p&gnt-cfr=1 submitted by /u/must_TATAKAE to r/nba [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_Plant6074 Originally posted to r/relationship_advice My (31M) pregnant girlfriend (23F) has been lying about her age for our entire relationship. Is there any way for me to trust her again? Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Original Post: May 28, 2026 My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. When we met, I was 30 and she said she was 25. I'm 31 now, and she's been pretending to be 26 for about 4 months. We literally celebrated what she said was her 26th birthday and she referred to it as her 26th birthday. She's 10 weeks pregnant, but she found out a month ago. She only told me about it not even 3 weeks ago because she was supposedly nervous about my reaction. She was on birth control, whatever the ring is that is inserted. I know she's being truthful about that because I've seen it and it's even come out of her by accident before. I'm unsure about us having a kid right now. We've been together a year, and we don't even live together. She spends most of her time at my place, but she doesn't actually live here. I guess I also took the risk by not using condoms, but I've been in other relationships where we've just relied on birth control, and it was fine. I do use condoms, it's just that after we'd been together a while we decided we were comfortable enough to just use the birth control. I'm nervous about the idea of us having a baby and I told her I wasn't sure a relationship of a year is really the ideal stable thing to be bringing a baby into, and she's been saying she knows but she just doesn't think she can't not have it and she cries and makes me feel bad. I'm not trying to leave this all on her and I will take responsibility, that's not really what this is about. She usually talks on the phone on speaker phone. She walks around holding her phone with it on speaker like they do on all the reality shows so you can hear everything being said. I find it really annoying. I don't want to listen to her full conversations she has with people. She was talking to her mom and sort of stressing about being pregnant and her mom said I can't believe you're going to have a baby at 23, you're too young....or something along those lines. All I really heard was the 23 part. I was like wait, wtf? I sat there silently waiting for her to get off the phone and then I immediately asked her why her mom said she was 23. She just looked at my surprised like she didn't know what to say, and I don't even think she registered that her mom had said that when I was right there hearing the whole thing. Your own mom doesn't get your age wrong by 3 whole years. She looked annoyed and also like she was going to cry and said she was really 23 and that she only lied because she found out my age first and thought I wouldn't take her seriously if she told me she was 22. She was 22 when we met and that 26th birthday we celebrated was really her 23rd. I just stared at her for the longest time because I didn't even know what to say. She's right, I probably wouldn't have entered into a relationship with a 22 year old, a hook up maybe but not a full blown relationship. I feel like such an idiot. I've didn't think I could be this stupid. I've dated many other women that were usually my age, up to just a few years younger than me. I know there's not a huge difference in number of years between 22 and 25, but 22 just makes me feel weird. Maybe she seemed a little immature for somebody in their mid-20s, but she has her own apartment, an actual job, she graduated college and has been lying about the exact year this whole time. Yeah she seemed a little younger than me, but I figured oh I guess this is what it's like to date somebody 5 years younger. She doesn't seem like somebody who just graduated college. She presents herself like she has a little more experience than that and acts a little more mature, or I thought she did. She says she wanted to tell me a bunch of times but got scared once more time went on. She keeps apologizing and saying she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. I don't know why, but somehow I feel bad. Like I've taken advantage of her or something? I know I shouldn't feel bad at all. I guess I just can't get over that she's been lying about it for a year, like actively changed info about her life to fit this lie. I still like who she is. By that I mean that even though I know her real age now, it doesn't change anything else that actually attracts me to her or that I like about her. It feels wrong to be like oh just because you're 23 I don't like you anymore. It's the lie I guess that bothers me more, even though the age difference also makes me feel like a creep. It makes me wonder what else she told me was a lie. Was she even on birth control when she got pregnant? I know she was on it at one point in our relationship but was she on it when she actually got pregnant? I wasn't doubting her at all before, but now I don't know. I'm not somebody who would ever jump to somebody baby trapping me. that's not something I ever thought would come out of my mouth. You have sex you take the risk and regardless of birth control I played a part, but it just makes me feel so much more sick than I already felt over the idea of having a baby right now. I may not have a choice but to be involved with her for a very long time to come and I'm just freaked out by it all. Maybe I've overreacting. I don't think it was malicious on her part, but I just can't believe she kept it up for so long. What if anything could ever be done to build trust here again? Is there any way for this to move forward? Editor's note: OOP posted lots of responses, listing significant details for more context Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Are you sure she’s even actually pregnant ETA: keeping her age from you was 100% malicious on her part. OOP: I've seen 2 pregnancy tests (not watch her take them) and she has an ultrasound picture with her name on it (I was not present when that was done because she hadn't even told me she was pregnant yet). Commenter 2: This is not good. She actually went to an ultrasound without you present? She's been lying about her age and hiding a pregnancy. This is not someone you can trust. These are big lies and indicates she will lie to you in the future when she feels your reaction will be bad. I’m not sure here, but isn't an ultrasound a little early at 10 weeks? OOP: She *says* she took a few tests and they were positive, but she had no clue how far along she was. She was too nervous to tell me. She went to a clinic to confirm it and find out how far along she was. She told me the day after she had the ultrasound. She was worried she might have been one of those weird cases where you're like 4 months pregnant and have no idea. To me, the being nervous to tell me and wanting to confirm it aren't that weird. I don't hold that against her. It'd be different if she had tried to hide it for a long time. Commenter 3: I think you’re right to reevaluate the relationship. If it wasn’t just this lie, how would you feel? Honestly sometimes talking on speakerphone all the time would’ve been a deal breaker for me. I would let her know you’ll support the baby financially and coparent if she doesn’t want to abort or put it up for adoption, but she’s clearly not mature enough for a relationship so you need to take a step back from that. OOP: If there was a way to know this was truly the only lie, then maybe I could move forward, but I don't know. She made up a bunch of other little lies to back up this one, so... Commenter 4: No, you can’t trust her again. But I’m curious how you didn’t know? You never talked about graduating school or first jobs or anything? This is a big lie, and that’s a long time to keep it up. OOP: We talked about those things, not a ton but we definitely talked about them, and she lied about when she graduated. I've even seen her license, but I didn't look at her birthday. I wasn't looking at it to check her age. We were laughing about how bad her picture is. It was right there and I could have seen it a long time ago. OOP explains more about his GF's menstrual cycles and the timing of pregnancy OOP: She told me she didn't know when her last period was and she was scared she was going to be one of those weird cases when you're like 4 months pregnant and have no idea. + She didn't miss her period for 4 whole months. She was just being paranoid about not knowing how far along she actually was, and apparently there have been women who gets periods and end up being very pregnant. She didn't remember when her last period was, and then what she could remember only lasted 2 days and that's shorter than what it normally is for her I guess. She was just freaked out when she got a positive pregnancy test. She was scared. She just said it like "Idk, I was scared I'd go in and find out I was actually 4 months pregnant!" That's all she said, just like "I was really scared and had no clue how far along I was." She told me she was having dreams about going into labor and never having actually seen the doctor at all prior to. I don't keep a log of when we have sex but yeah I'm sure we had sex around that time. This is a pretty new relationship still, so it's happening pretty frequently. I'm sure it happened many times right around whenever she would have conceived. I'm supposed to be going to her next doctor's appointment with her. + She said she was feeling nauseous and dizzy, her boobs hurt really bad and felt different to her, and she couldn't remember exactly when her last period was. She hadn't missed her period for 4 months, but she was just being paranoid about possibly being that pregnant. OOP responds to a comment about having a child is a big deal OOP: I 100% agree that a kid if a huge deal, which is why I was already sort of spiraling and feeling unsure about everything even before I found out about her age. I take it very seriously and honestly don't really think that a year's long relationship, even without big lies involved, is the ideal circumstance to bring a child into. Yeah before I learned the truth about her age I felt like this relationship could really turn into something much more long term but it's also not as if I was planning to propose next month. We were nowhere near there yet. I'm also an adult and I'll take responsibility for my child if one is born. I'm not going to not be there if that happens. Commenter 5: The only way to move forward is as coparents, but not romantic partners. I would make that very clear to her that you will be raising you child, but she has proven she is not the romantic partner you are looking for. You two will not be moving in together, but you will be working through the court to sort out custody. Be very firm about that. Strip away the fantasy that this is going to turn out any other way. If you make all that clear, more truths might come out...like the fact she isn't actually pregnant. Or more likely, she will say she miscarried when you tell her you are not going to be in a relationship with her...which to me always reads as she wasn't likely pregnant in the first place. Either way, be firm. Prepare to be a dad coparenting with a pathological liar, but I honestly think if you firmly make it clear that you guys are over and now strictly coparents, then she is going to try and rope someone else in...look up the gray rock technique and use that. Don't give her any room to try and manipulate you. And if a baby is born, get a paternity test. Tell her you will be getting one through the courts. When she cries that you don't trust her, tell her you don't. If she is willing to lie about her age, which was such a dumb but major thing to lie about, then she can lie about anything. There is no trust. OOP: Thank you for the genuinely good advice. I don't know if I'm going to take it yet, but thanks. OOP's location OOP: We're in the US OOP on if he loves his GF OOP: I do love her, or did, but have a harder time actually feeling that after finding out she's been lying to me. It wasn't like I was planning to propose next month, but I was feeling like this relationship had the potential to become a much longer term, serious thing and we were talking about her moving in with me at the end of the summer when he lease is up. OOP explains more about his ideal relationships and the age gap when dating OOP: I normally date women 0-2 years from my own age, so anything that felt a little different to me I figured was because I thought she was 25 when we started dating, which was still 5 years younger than me. I'm not trying to be that creep who says sometimes girls just act more mature for their age, but I don't think that every 22-23 year old acts exactly the same and she did seem mature enough. I admit that maybe I am too hung up on the actual number, but I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with a 22 year old at age 30 because that just doesn't feel right to me. Whether she acts more mature than her age or not, I just know there's still an inherit difference in our experience. Not to mention, many other people also find that gross too. Like I said though, I still like everything I liked about her before, so what does it really change about her? But then there's the whole lie she kept up for a year. It feels like shit knowing you've been lied to and that there have been a lot of micro lies thrown in, like celebrating her 26th birthday, the year she graduated, things like that. It's not like those lies were huge and cause damaged or anything, but it's not a great feeling and it does make me wonder about what other stupid little things she's told me were real and what weren't.   Update: June 8, 2026 (1.5 weeks later) Update - My (31M) pregnant girlfriend (23F) has been lying about her age for our entire relationship. Is there any way for me to trust her again? Quick recap for people who didn't read the original post: I'm 31 and up until a few weeks ago I thought my girlfriend was 26. We've been together for a little over a year and she's currently pregnant. I recently discovered she's actually 23 and was 22 when we met. She had been lying about her age the entire time. She had a doctor appointment today and I went along. She had already invited me before her real age came out and I started doubting everything else she had told me. She's actually pregnant. According to her doctor, she's 12 weeks, 1 day pregnant, which lines up with what she told me before. Her due date is really Dec. 20. They didn't do an ultrasound today. Apparently there's an optional one that can be done around this point to look for abnormalities, but she doesn't have any risk factors, so her insurance doesn't cover it. It turns out she's actually still on her parents' insurance. I was also able to have a much more serious conversation with her about the age lie. I tried to explain that the issue isn't really the number itself at this point. At first, I was very focused on the number because many people will think it's gross and they won't know or believe that I didn't really know her age for an entire year. Now it's really just that she maintained the lie for over a year. She let me believe she was older when we met, celebrated a fake birthday, and made up all these little micro lies to go along with the fake age, including when she graduated, etc. I want her to realize why I can't believe anything she tells me now. I don't want to doubt her and I'm not one that's going to be having sex with somebody and immediately jump to "you're baby trapping me." I hate when guys do that. I just can't believe anything, no matter how big or small. She tells me her favorite ice cream is chocolate, and I'm convinced that's a lie! She said she understands. She was only thinking about the present when she told me she was 25 and didn't think long term. She didn't know how to get out of the lie, and she realized she'd eventually have to tell me, but she couldn't figure out how. Hmm, maybe just being honest and saying all of that without me having to find out the truth from overhearing her conversation with her mom. She says she understands why I have trouble trusting her now and that she's willing to do whatever it takes to prove she isn't lying about anything else. I asked her to just come clean with anything that I don't know. Now's her chance. She told me this isn't the first time she's been pregnant. When she was 19 and in college, she got pregnant after a one night stand. She took Plan B the next morning, but it didn't work, and she had an abortion shortly afterward. She said one of the reasons she's struggling so much with this pregnancy is that she doesn't want to be someone who has multiple abortions. She told me she's embarrassed that she's had 2 unintentional pregnancies and feels a lot of shame about it. She also insists she didn't get pregnant on purpose and that she doesn't really want to be pregnant now, but she wasn't as shocked to find out she was pregnant as she originally claimed to be. She wasn't using her birth control ring perfectly. She told me there were times when she forgot to replace it on schedule and sometimes wouldn't put a new one in until a day or two after she was supposed to. So while she was technically using birth control, she wasn't always using it correctly. She had been telling me she had absolutely no idea she could be pregnant and was panicking because she didn't know whether she was six weeks pregnant or four months pregnant. The truth is that before she ever took the pregnancy test, she was already worried she might be pregnant because she knew she had messed up her birth control schedule. So if I'm counting correctly, that's at least two more lies. Her explanation for both was basically embarrassment. She said she didn't want to admit that she had made mistakes and that the pregnancy might have happened because she screwed up. On one hand, I can see how what she's saying could all be true. I genuinely think she lied about her age, and it went on too long and she didn't know how to get out of it. Doesn't make it right, but I don't think there's any deeper reason for why she did it. I feel better knowing she's actually pregnant, yet not better all at the same time. Just glad to know she wasn't lying about being pregnant because that would be entering deranged territory. Her real age doesn't even change all of the things I really like about her. I don't think she's some evil mastermind who has been plotting to trap me. I'm doing okay for myself, but there are better men out there to trap. What I see is someone who seems willing to lie when she's scared, embarrassed, or worried about how she'll be perceived. The problem is that those are exactly the situations where honesty matters most. I still care about her. Finding out she's 23 instead of 26 didn't suddenly make me stop caring about her as a person. Now she seems pretty set on having this baby and I'm not one of those stay together for the kids type of people, but I keep thinking that if all of this stuff about her age hadn't come up, I wouldn't be making moves to leave her. Our relationship had been great and had already been moving towards getting more serious before any of this happened. I guess now I'm trying to figure out whether this is a person who made one bad decision that snowballed out of control or if dishonesty is simply how she deals with difficult situations. At this point, I'm less interested in whether her lies were understandable and more interested in what I should be looking for going forward. If someone has a pattern of lying when they're embarrassed, scared, or worried about being judged, what signs indicate they're actually working on that behavior rather than just apologizing for it? I realize I might be an idiot for giving this a try and not breaking up with her immediately, but I just don't want to go into it being a completed blind, deaf, and dumb idiot. Editor's note: please note that some of OOP's responses were downvoted when providing more details Relevant Comments Commenter 1: "I don't want to be a person with two abortions" But I do want to be a person who has a child out of wedlock with a dude I just lied to constantly for several years. Not sure I buy this one... OOP: It was just a year. We've only known each other for a year. But makes me wonder who long she would have let her lie go on for....possibly years if she could have, I assume. OOP responds about the pregnancy and abortions his GF hid from him, will be in his life if they continue with the pregnancy OOP: I understand why she'd want to confirm she was actually pregnant before telling me. Honestly, that's fine with me. I also don't expect her to have told me she had an abortion years ago. It's not like I ever asked her if she had one and she said no. There was no reason for her to have mentioned it before. I don't feel like I'm owed that info. I take responsibility for her getting pregnant. It's both of our faults. I just wish she had been honest about it and not acted like she was totally shocked and had no idea how far along she could be. But I agree with you that she's going to be in my life no matter what at this point and if a baby really does come we both have to be in it together, so I guess that's another reason why I'm leaning toward not breaking up with her right now. I don't think I have much to lose right now by seeing how things go and whether she can be honest or not moving forward. Commenter 2: She admitted she doesn't really want to be pregnant now, but she doesn’t want to be a person who "has had 2 abortions." What a terrible reason to bring a life into the world. OOP: Nobody's judging her for it except herself. I tried telling her nobody needs to know. It's not like she has to wear a sign around her neck announcing it. She says she wasn't an adult the first time and she couldn't raise a baby, but now she's more of an adult and has no excuse to get an abortion. You don't need an excuse! Commenter 3: So. I am extremely skeptical about her birth control story. I have used NuvaRing in the past and have forgotten to replace it on time but it's usually not a problem. The uva ring will last for 4 weeks so I don't see how her being 2-3 days late made her pregnant unless she didn't have it in her at all. I’m not saying it's impossible, it's just really sketchy. I'd do my own research if I were you. OOP: I don't know, and there's a good chance I still don't know the full story about it. I don't know that it's worth me really going down a rabbit hole over though. She already admitted to not using it completely correctly and she's already pregnant now, so I feel like I have bigger things to worry about. I'm never relying on that ring again though. Commenter 4: Her age is really showing with all these lies and mistakes. Think of it, a 22, newly 23, year old that lies cause she doesn't realize the relationship is long term, can't tell the truth, is inconsistent with her birth control, and doesn't want to get an abortion because of her own feelings around shame. All very age appropriate and immature. The maturity from a 27 year old can be vastly different than a 22 year old. Support her decision with her body but tell her that her immature decisions have created a rift and mistrust in your relationship. If that's not a red flag for you then it should at least be cause for some serious rebuilding OOP: I agree. It was hard not to literally laugh out loud when she told me she felt like when she got pregnant at 19 she wasn't an adult and couldn't raise a baby, but now she's an adult and has less of an excuse not to go through with the pregnancy. It took everything I had to not be like "are you serious right now?" Commenter 5: First, you need to use your own form of birth control. The woman is not the only one who should bear the responsibility of using birth control. She is completely untrustworthy and you should dump her. If she goes through with the pregnancy you’ll be stuck coparenting with someone you can’t trust or you’ll have to abandon your child. OOP: I take responsibility in my part of the pregnancy. I understand that even with perfect birth control use there's still a small risk. We made the decision together the stop using condoms and to rely on her birth control only. When you make that decision as a couple and the woman agrees to take on that responsibility, she's taking on the responsibility of using their birth control effectively and communicating any possible problem to their partner. She agreed to that. I didn't just decide to stop using condoms on my own and force her to take on the sole responsibility of birth control. I also get that when we made that decision, I was putting my trust in her. Even with finding out what I know now about her not putting a new ring in right when she was supposed to, I still don't solely blame her for the pregnancy. I could have always used a condom to be extra safe. I know there are things I could have done to better guarantee that pregnancy didn't happen. Commenter 6: If she does choose to give birth, she needs to figure out beforehand how she will have health insurance coverage for her newborn since her insurance is through her parents (the policyholders). I read somewhere that a policyholder’s health insurance usually doesn’t cover the dependents of a dependent (e.g., grandchildren). Time for this 23-year-old to be an adult. Best of luck to you. OOP: She has a full time job that she could get her own benefits through. I know she's not lying about this because I've been inside and seen her desk and met her co-workers. I can also put my child on my insurance. OOP on if he is going to continue the relationship with his GF, her reasons for getting pregnant and coparenting OOP: Our relationship is essentially on pause right now. I agree that her reasons for having the baby aren't that great. I've told her that I personally don't really feel that a relationship of only 1 year, regardless of the age thing, is really the best scenario to bring a baby into it. Add the other things into it and it's definitely not ideal. I've definitely had some moments of just personally spiraling about it because this isn't how I pictured the situation of me becoming a dad and honestly the more that she says to me the more I feel like I'm having a baby with a kid. Before all of this stuff came out, I would have believed that she was somebody mature enough to handle having a baby, even if unexpected. That's how she portrayed herself. Now it's like I know the truth about her age, so she doesn't feel the need to keep up so much of an act. I've told her nobody has to know about whether she has an abortion or not or how many abortions she's ever had. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about it. There are some people who know she's pregnant, but we could say she had a miscarriage if she wants. She doesn't like that idea and doesn't want pity and people feeling bad for her when she actually had an abortion. I don't even know how truthful the whole "I don't want to have 2 abortions" is. I'm sure she doesn't want to say she had 2 abortions, but she's said other things like she just can't get an abortion, it doesn't feel right. So my gut tells me she wants to have the baby, but she can't be honest about that and just say she wants to have the baby. I feel like she's scared to say it. Instead, she has to have all of these reasons why she just can't have any abortion. It's hard because I feel sort of stuck between being honest about how I feel while also not being the asshole who forces her into something she doesn't want to do. I don't want to be that person. + It basically is on pause now. I told her I would support her in whatever decision she makes and obviously went to the appointment (partly because I needed to know the truth, but I also want to be involved if this is really happening). I'm not ready for our relationship to go back to what it had been though. Luckily we don't live together. She normally spends a ton of time and most nights at my place and was actually supposed to move in with me in August. She has not been staying here lately. OOP on his GF's ultrasounds OOP: Her insurance covers routine ultrasounds. It doesn't cover the one that's used for screening for abnormalities around 12 weeks. It only covers that one if she has risk factors like being over 35 or having a family history of certain conditions. We were told if the blood test shows anything abnormal that would require further investigation, then her insurance will likely cover further testing and ultrasounds. She had an ultrasound when she was a little over 7 weeks. She said she had no clue how far along she was, so it was done to determine that. She has pictures from it. She's supposed to have another one around 20 weeks, which would be the first one I'd be able to attend. OOP on asking for a paternity test OOP: Yeah and I think I’ll ask for one. I do believe it’s mine but it’s too important to not be 100% sure about.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

TL;DR: You’ve hit the vibe-coding wall. Reverse engineer, refactor, refine, and replace what’s broken - one piece at a time. We’ve been there. You’re in the flow of generating code with your coding assistant, and you realize you’ve hit the wall. The review is taking longer than the actual building – how can you regain control? https://preview.redd.it/opzuv287av6h1.png?width=1474&format=png&auto=webp&s=ea1f470f5d2701d5eff588d56de9f70af899acff If you’ve gotten to this point, you know that adding engineering rigor to a codebase that has lost its way is difficult. Maybe you’ve fallen out of alignment. Perhaps your coding agent isn’t delivering exactly what you want or is missing context. I’m Rynne, Lead AI Ecosystem Engineer at IBM, and I’m here to talk about some best practices for fixing code that’s grown into a disaster using IBM Bob. 👇 Step 1: Reverse engineer Find the current state of the code base. Use “ask” mode in IBM Bob or simply prompt your agent for hotspots. Doing a dedicated review pass (with either the same or a different LLM) is also a powerful tool. If you’re not using it yet, "git-bisect" is an incredible tool for finding the exact point where something went off the rails. It does a binary search through git history to find the commit that broke things. 💡Pro tip: Spin up a spike if you’re not sure how you want to tackle something! Spikes are self-contained pieces of throwaway work that answer a question – don’t be afraid to throw that code away. The answer is the goal at this point. Step 2: Refactor Plan out your changes – and we’re going to really retake ownership in this step. As we make the plan for our refactor, make sure that what it’s proposing is the way we want to go. There’s a lot of ways to make sure you understand and are aligned with the plan – one of my favorites is the "grill-me" skill, where the agent will interview you and get on the same page. Implementing those changes starts with one critical thing: a goal. 🎯Whether test or benchmark, understanding how you validate the change is how you know you’ve gotten to the desired behavior. Break it into manageable pieces. Lift and shift pieces one at a time. Verify API contracts and accomplish the goal before you move to the next piece. Patterns like the Strangler Fig can be very helpful here. Spinning up new tasks or context windows is an excellent way to keep your context on track. Having a detailed spec can be useful here to help you clear out some of that exploratory work. Step 3: Refine As you firm up pieces, the key here is to keep it from happening again. 🌶️Hot take: strongly consider linters and type systems. I personally consider them basically mandatory at this point when working with AI – it helps my agent notice when it’s gotten off track much earlier. IBM Bob will also showcase errors from these in the “Bob Findings” section of review, which can be a useful place to look for potential issues. Step 4: Replace what’s broken “Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to >take away.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Make sure the validation stays clean, but keeping the old (broken) stuff in there is an easy way to confuse your context. Clean up! 🧹 --- 💬Have more tips or questions? Join the AMA! Have more tips on breaking the vibe-coding wall? Have questions about encouraging AI tool adoption in your enterprise? My colleague Max, a product manager for IBM Bob, is hosting an AMA in u/IBM on June 16. 🗓️ 👉 Click here to join the conversation! submitted by /u/ibm to u/ibm [link] [comments]

Its been 4 hours since i said goodbye to our beloved cat Wookie (Chonkers, Wookie-bear, Sir Catington, and many more nick names). I’m sitting here waiting to call into work as i havent slept yet and i need to type it out. Cant post anywhere else till we get a chance to make some calls when family wakes up. He is that well loved in our family. Hes made non cat people adopt. Wookie was 2 when he came into our lives. My husband and i were at pet value getting litter. Well he was getting litter for our other cat Salem. I was playing with the kitties through the window. This particular ball of fluff was having fun with me when a worker came to me and told me his story. He came in with his mom and siblings. I can’t remember how long he was there for but his mom and siblings were long adopted. Except him, because no one likes the fact he doesn’t like to be picked up. He acts like a fish on land when you try. She pulled on my heart strings. Im a bleeding heart and felt so bad for him, and had to convinced my husband we need to take him. Bought a cat carrier and about an hour of fighting to get him in it. He was ours. That was 13 years ago. He was the bestest boy. He loved belly rubs and warm laps from anyone. He squeaked when he wanted something. Had the Barry White of purrs. Had his own spot at the dinner table bench. But was still a drama queen when you tried to pick him up. My husband was the only person that was sorta able to carry him. Of course the one who didnt want another cat was the one who ended up being his best buddy. He was 15. And recently we noticed he was limping, moving slower etc we made him an appointment to his usual vet. It was supposed to be tomorrow. Last night we found him breathing heavy with his mouth open. We called an emergency vet and they saw him right away. They put Wookie in an oxygen tank immediately. After 2 hours he was not improving. We made the hardest decision of our lives this morning. We got to be with him for a while. He even purred while having the oxygen mask. My husband held him till the end, and in an instant he was gone. We stayed with him for over an hour afterwards. Wrapped up him in the blankets they had and said goodbye. It was so hard to leave the building without him. It stills feel wrong to have left him behind. We miss him so damn much. Everything so raw still. Hopefully wont be too long till we get his ashes home. I have another hour before i can call work and another hour after before i call his vet. I miss you buddy. Im sorry you went through all that. Im sorry the rest of the world didnt get to know you. Edit: that last picture was the one I texted my husband when we were at pet value, telling him we need to save this guy. Can’t believe i still had it. Edit#2: My husband and I want to thank everyone in this wonderful community for all your kind words and sharing your own stories. We read through them all. Its really helped us get through this day. We cried and we smiled and even laughed a little. Which we didn’t think we could do today. Anyone else who may see this and is going through the same know you’re not alone. And remember the blessing that it was to have had them in your life. And please remember to eat ❤️ take care of yourself too. submitted by /u/Veriera to r/cats [link] [comments]

TW: abuse Lemon chicken thigh Caesar salad. Lunch with mom, where this conversation happened… My ex and I technically broke up in 2017 after two years together but he strung me along until 2019 and I finally realised my worth when he tried to see me at the start of 2020 (I know, yikes). He was my first “proper” relationship which is my only reasoning for sticking around so long - I didn’t know that men WEREN’T supposed to treat you that way. He cheated on me constantly (I found most of this out later), spoke to me terribly, gaslit me before I knew that’s what it was, constantly berated my appearance and weight, wouldn’t allow me to have male friends at first then it became an issue if I went out or had friends at all, picked a fight if I posted on social media, lied non-stop, didn’t respect me as a woman nor as a person in general… the list goes on. He never laid a hand on me but things were thrown and walls were punched - I’m sure if we moved in together it wouldn’t have taken him long. All in all, he was awful. Anyway, my mom and stepdad know his parents and they see them maybe once or twice a year. Over our girls’ lunch he came up in conversation, which is a rarity as my mum knows how terrible he was and honestly I don’t think about him ever nowadays. It turns out karma really came to get him - he’s single, still living with his parents, unemployed, doesn’t drive and therefore can’t get a job as he works in trades. His mum was complaining to mine that he’s not doing anything with his life, and even his friends don’t want anything to do with him anymore. Meanwhile, I’m truly so happy with my life. I bought my first house last year with my partner of almost 6 years - who is everything you could ever want in a man. We’ve recently adopted a rescue dog who I adore. I see friends at least once a week. My career is doing great and I’m slowly building up a side business too. I regularly think to myself “I can’t believe this is my life”. Like I say, I don’t think or care about my ex at all now but a teeny part of me was happy to hear his life isn’t going so great considering how awfully he treats women. (If you’re in his position I mean no offence - this is a terrible person who deserves terrible things!) submitted by /u/Inevitable-Delay-500 to r/GirlDinnerDiaries [link] [comments]

I'm 29F and I have a dog, Milo. He's a 4-year-old mixed breed rescue, about 45 lbs, very friendly, very photogenic, and honestly the best thing in my life. I adopted him when he was 10 months old. I pay for his food, vet bills, daycare when needed, insurance, everything. He is 100% my dog. My close friend "Lauren" is 30F. She lives in a building that doesn't allow pets, but she loves dogs and has always been great with Milo. About six months ago, she got out of a long relationship and started dating again. She was really nervous about dating apps and first dates, so one day she joked that walking Milo would make her seem more approachable. I didn't mind at first. She would ask to take him to the park or on a walk before a coffee date. Milo loves walks, Lauren is responsible, and I trusted her. It actually seemed good for everyone. She got a confidence boost, Milo got extra attention, and I got a quiet hour or two. Then it slowly became weird. First, she added photos with Milo to her dating profiles. That didn't bother me too much until I saw her profile said something like, "Dog mom to the sweetest rescue boy." I told her that made it sound like Milo was her dog. She laughed and said, "It's not that serious, everyone exaggerates a little on apps." Then she started telling dates "we rescued him." I only found this out because I ran into her at a dog-friendly brewery with Milo, and the guy she was with said, "Oh, this must be the dog you two rescued together." I corrected him and said, "I adopted him, Lauren just borrows him sometimes." It was awkward, but I thought that would be the end of it. It was not. She started referring to him as "our dog" in casual conversation. Like, "We should get Milo a new raincoat," or "Our dog hates that brand of treats," or "I told Mark our dog is picky about men." I pushed back a few times and she would say, "You know what I mean," or "I'm just joking." A couple weeks ago, she asked if she could take Milo on a Saturday afternoon because she had a second date with a guy who also loved dogs. I said yes, but told her I needed him back by 6 because I had plans. At 5:30 she texted asking if she could keep him longer because they were having a great time at a park. I said no, I needed him home. She brought him back at almost 7:30 and acted like I was being uptight because "Milo was having fun." That annoyed me, but what really pushed me over the edge happened this past weekend. Lauren posted an Instagram story of Milo wearing a little bandana I bought him. The caption said: "Co-parenting this angel until I can get my own place 🥹🐾." A guy she's been seeing commented something like, "Best stepdad audition ever," and she reposted it with laughing emojis. I texted her and said the "co-parenting" thing made me uncomfortable and I wanted her to stop implying Milo was partly hers. She called me and said I was being possessive over a dog who clearly loves her. She said I know she can't have a dog in her apartment, and spending time with Milo has been helping her feel less lonely after her breakup. She also said I had no problem with her borrowing him when it was convenient for me, but now that she's bonded with him I'm "pulling rank." I told her that borrowing Milo for walks is not the same thing as building part of her dating identity around him. She said I was making it sound creepy when it was harmless. She also said Milo is happier when he has "more people who love him," and that I'm acting like love for a dog is a limited resource. Yesterday she asked if she could take him again this Friday because she has another date and "Milo is kind of part of the plan." I said I was thinking about stopping the borrowing altogether, at least for dates. She got really upset and said I was punishing her for loving my dog. She said she has bought him treats, taken him to the park, helped me when I was sick last year by walking him, and that I'm being controlling. A mutual friend said Lauren definitely overstepped with the "our dog" stuff, but that completely cutting her off might be harsh because Milo does love her and she hasn't actually neglected or harmed him. I don't want to be cruel. I know Lauren is lonely, and I know Milo enjoys seeing her. But I'm starting to feel like she's using my dog as a prop for dating and also emotionally blurring the lines in a way I don't like. So, WIBTA if I stopped letting my friend borrow my dog for dates after she started calling him "our dog"? submitted by /u/mulosapiba424 to r/WIBTA_AITA [link] [comments]