College Dorm Room Ideas

... national housing crisis sets many college students up for failure before... can get their diplomas. On-campus dorm rooms can be pricey or.... They’ll also seek out ideas about these projects from students... in a “forced triple,” a room originally designed for two students ...

...still in the private study room in the library. She ... rush back to the dorm and change. Minutes ticked by... you had any practical costume ideas. tHebert: Preferably, bug-themed. wSchnee: Well... say I have any ideas for bug-themed Huntress gear, but ...Sure, she was in the room when The Chat first manifested, ...let's go back to the dorm. I have yet to shower ... high school and a college. Well, that and I needed ...

... well familiar with after several college dorm romances that ended as well... some battles to get new ideas but this rain…" "Bad luck... replied. "Good. You get any ideas from seeing Grace take him... an eighteen ounce coffee, no room, and, uh," the man said...

... that I mentioned when discussing ideas for my teen Scarlet Spider... and Gwen's dorm rooms. Cindy really wants to experience college life since... complain about Cindy decorating a dorm room for herself and Gwen in... that she missed out on college, and is just taking advantage ... for to live a college dorm experience. And many people return to college at Cindy's age or...

...that first week in the dorm that I needed a sounding ...two pounds for selling this ideas book can set us for ... chatter in the living room falter and die. A woman ... district. The VIP conference room was paneled in dark wood, ...in the quiet of the room like a stone dropped into ...do." Outside the the VIP room Emma could imagine the family ...hear another story about his college roommate and the not so ...

... with your own ideas. Massgamer said: "You're still finishing college back in... mine is gonna be a college dropout." "Says the dropout?" I ... it from outside. "through the dorm room door" Massgamer said: Yeah, we ...

Turn Ideas into Products: A Playbook for ...: the brilliant college kid who started a business in his dorm room; the.... Instead we have a few ideas — some innovative, some not — and... a step-by-step approach to turn ideas, regardless of their source, into... businesses. In Turn Ideas into Products, author Steve Johnson...

... on her. Silverquill- both the college and her mentor- had high ... with all sorts of idiotic ideas about the nobility of defending... Lu She planeswalked into her room. It was… the same as... her planeswalker stuff in her dorm room in Strixhaven- after all, they...! She walked out of her room. There was Mai! "Uh, hi...

...dorm room, the same kind that my older sister had when she went off to college...the children, I had vague ideas of how good of students ...foggiest." Rachel, apparently, had different ideas, and at my hesitation she ...a detour back to my dorm room. The room was much like I left ...along. The basement slash storage room was obviously a place that ...into the bowels of the room. I shrugged, scanning the shelves ...

... Sally Can't Dance in my college dorm, courtesy of [Pixies guitarist] Joey ... mean, I’ve been in the room with him on a number ...... Let's come up with 16 ideas and just whittle it down. ...

so I’m 18M and moving out. I have a pretty nice dorm room but I’m roomed with 3 girls I’ve never met. My college does open housing so it’s not a big deal and was sort of expected knowing that my dorm building is predominantly taken up by women. First question is, will this be uncomfortable? For some context, it’s a flat with 4 separate rooms and a common living space, so I’m able to close my door and lock it while I’m gone. I don’t think it’s that bad, but a lot of my friends have been saying they feel sorry for me. Anyways, second question, what should I bring? I have no idea what I’m gonna need aside from my guitar and the basics like toiletries and snacks. Any specific recommendations that would otherwise go unlooked are much appreciated. EDIT: should’ve clarified but I’m AroAce so me liking or hitting on these ladies is not an issue for me, it’s more of a comfort thing I suppose as I never really lived with women my age before. submitted by /u/Bunny_OnDaMic to r/Advice [link] [comments]

Room 1 of my newest build that’ll follow someone throughout their adult life! What details, hobbies, or odes to college life do you spot? 🔎 (credit to Glamourgus for the music idea, Swoordz for tissues, and Twitch chat for brainstorming ideas with me as I work on this project!) submitted by /u/Botanicoles to r/WoWHousing [link] [comments]

Problem/Goal: My mother told me na maglalagay daw siya ng CCTV sa dorm ko. I don't want one there. — Context: Incoming freshie kasi ako and my whole life nasa bahay lang ako—all my schools have been relatively close to home, so I didn't have trouble commuting. This college, I had no choice but mag dorm since malayo na college ko from home. I'm somewhat lucky kasi pinayagan ako mag dorm in the first place. I live in Las Piñas and my college is in QC pa. Nung una kasi, sinabi ng parents ko na mag commute nalang ako araw-araw and I didn't really like that idea since matagal (at nakakapagod) ang commute ko just to get to college and back home. At some point nagbago na rin isip nila, but my mother specifically insisted na pag nag dorm ako, she'll live with me for a month and install a CCTV camera in my room. Okay naman ako with her living with me. I accepted it na, since I know they're just worried since first time ko 'to away from home. Pero yung CCTV sa room ko? Out of line na kasi and a huge invasion of privacy. Nagising ako kanina and narinig ko si mom talking about it w/ yung mother ng friend ko na makakasama ko sa dorm. She was talking about installing the CCTV nalang in my room kasi "s'yempre privacy na din ng ibang bata". Which I found ironic, kasi yung mismong anak niya, 'di niya man lang cinonsider. For context, 'yung only common area ng unit namin kasi is a really small kitchen w/ a door on either side. 'Yung isa yung CR and then 'yung isa 'yung mismong entrance na ng dorm. Minention siguro ni mom yung "privacy ng ibang bata" because there could have been a possibility na maglagay na lang ng CCTV in the common area. Pano ko mababago isip ng nanay ko? Ayoko talaga ng idea of a CCTV in my room. Huge invasion of privacy and frankly halata ang lack of trust sa'kin on her end. — Previous Attempts: I talked to her kanina (albeit a little frustrated) na hindi ako papayag na may camera sa room ko. Nagalit siya and told me 'di na daw niya ko makikita araw araw 'gaya pag nasa bahay kami. I-isa lang kasi kwarto sa bahay namin. Sinabi niya na ganu'n lang naman daw gagawin; since 'di na daw niya ako makikita, yung CCTV yung solution. Siya lang din naman may hawak daw ng pang CCTV. Pinapili niya pa'ko: mag dorm na may CCTV or mag commute nalang daw ako. I don't know if I'm not understanding anything else sa side niya. I understand na it's my first time away from home and they're gonna be worried about me. Pero to the point of her installing a CCTV camera? Am I being pushy ba? Masyado ko bang pinipilit gusto ko or justified ba? Sabi ni mom wag ko daw ipilit yung gusto ko. Which mas nakaka-frustrate lang. It's like wala siyang sense of privacy at all. Huhu, sorry nakakapagod na din kasi. Whenever I try to set boundaries, 'di nila sineseryoso. 'Yung dating lang kasi is parang wala siyang tiwala sa'kin at all. submitted by /u/ohyoullbebaccc to r/adviceph [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/YogurtclosetOk8317 WIBTA If I Refused To Be A Bridesmaid In My Best Friend’s Wedding? Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole Original Post Sept 28, 2023 So I (25F) recently learned that one of my best friends from college, Lila (25F) is engaged. I’m incredibly happy for her, and I was initially excited until she told me what her and her fiancé Ben’s (27M) plans are for the wedding. For some background, I met Lila in college. We were dorm roomies in freshman year, then roommates again at a nearby apartment in junior year. Senior year, she moved in with Ben and I got a new roommate. A few months later, the pandemic began. Ben and Lila used the pandemic to try and develop interests together. Both of them enjoy their at-home movie dates, so they tried to find film and tv series to watch together. A month into this endeavor, one of Ben’s friends suggests Game of Thrones, and to say they got hooked is an understatement. Aside from her chosen field of study/work, I have legitimately never seen Lila so passionate about something. It became her and Ben’s life. They watched the series, read the books, and even started dressing up for conventions. I thought it was super sweet, but I’m not much of a high fantasy person, and I’ve heard the show is heavy on gore and SA, which I have a lot of trouble sitting through. Lila did invite once to a re-watch party she and Ben hosted the next year (2021) but I declined and told her why, and she’s not made efforts to get me interested since and says she gets it. While I would definitely call Lila and Ben’s interest in the show obsessive, they don’t push it onto other people and it’s not caused issues so far when me or other friends aren’t into it. That being said, I’m worried that if I refuse to be a bridesmaid in her wedding due to her Game of Thrones theme, I’m worried she’ll actually take it poorly. I don’t know if this makes me an asshole, but I genuinely do not want to put money into dress/hair/makeup for me to be styled as an imaginary character for a wedding. It feels ridiculous. She and her husband are going to be married dressed as their favorite characters (who are also either in a relationship or they think they should be? All the names are hard to keep up with and I get them confused), and the bridesmaids and groomsmen will also be styled to look like other characters, and the guests will be asked to wear the “house colors” of the character the bride or the groom is dressed as, depending on which one invited them. We haven’t been “assigned” characters yet, but I don’t care, I don’t want to do it. I want Ben and Lila to have their special day, and I want it to be what they want, but I don’t want to pay good money for what are essentially costumes of fake people. It feels weird, but I want to be supportive and not be a dick. WIBTA if I backed out? EDIT: Just to clarify two things: my main concern is how much money I’ll have to sink into this because she doesn’t want simple dresses that sort of go with the characters, she wants full (somewhat extensive) costuming and most likely expensive styled lace fronts. I don’t want to sink money into something that I’m going to feel ridiculous wearing. Also, I wasn’t necessarily asked, I was just added to a group chat and she said “you’re all going to be my bridesmaids!” I replied excitedly before she started rolling out all of these expectations. EDIT 2: I can’t keep up with these comments, but I’m seeing some common threads. No I don’t think her wedding idea is stupid. No it’s not the theme that’s throwing me off. No I don’t hate the show. She wants us to get new custom wigs and costumes, it will be at serious expense to each of us, and she will be keeping it all afterwards to display in her Game of Thrones room. I love Lila and I think her wedding theme is going to be fun, I just don’t know if I can financially keep up, and if I could, it would be a lot of money going to something I really won’t be comfy in that I then have to turn over to her, so I’ll never get any more use out it. That’s where my conflicting lies. I do not hate her or her theme or the show, I’m just worried about being physically uncomfortable in an expensive costume, that will then go on a mannequin. It’s also going to be an outdoor ceremony in spring and I’m worried about the layers getting too warm. VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE RELEVANT COMMENTS Pesec1 NAH at this point. They have a right to have wedding the way they want, you have no obligation to be a part of it. That said, instead of flat out backing out, you may consider being upfront about limits to your expenses and time commitment. Also, if they both dress in red and get blonde hair, be concerned. OOP Thank you for the advice! I do really hope she has a wonderful wedding, I’m sure it’s going to be amazing and there’s going to be a lot of details going into it, I just don’t know if I can spend money to basically cosplay for a day. I think she’s going to be a red haired girl, if that helps? ~ xrelaht INFO: is this really more expensive than it would normally be? Being in a wedding party is often costly. Gotta rent a tux or buy a dress you’ll never wear again, get your hair done with the bride, etc. OOP Quite a bit more expensive, and I read back our texts. She’s going to be keeping our costumes for her Game of Thrones room. xrelaht If she wants to keep them, she can pay for them. Whats the cost looking like? If they were willing to pay I wouldn’t care if they put me in a paper sack honestly. If the limit was 1k I’d pay. But we’re looking at a minimum of like 3k Who is her friend/the bride cosplaying as? Some commenters have helped me figure out it’s a girl named Sansa. When I googled that one the pics looked like what Lila showed me. I don’t know who Ben is, I just know she made a comment about how his hair is dark enough/right length that he won’t need a wig, just some styling. He’s got dark brown hair, basically black in some lighting. Does that help at all, bc telling people Lila’s character was a redhead helped Final Update Sept 29, 2023 (Next Day) I got a warning about word count after my last edit so I’m dropping the info here. Ben is dressing as someone named Sandor. Okay so, I decided to read up on the characters they’re dressing as, and I’m noping out of this wedding. I’m also done answering questions and dealing with this post. Bye Editors Note: A Sansa and Sandor wedding cosplay is just wrong because it turns a relationship based on survival, trauma, and fear into a romantic fairytale. In the story, Sansa is a terrified child prisoner while the Hound is a battle-hardened, adult warrior who at one point even threatens her at knifepoint. While he occasionally protects her, their bond is defined by a massive age gap and an intense power imbalance, not love THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/throwaway7192022 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes Friend's BF is stalking me, and I don't know how to talk to her about it Trigger Warnings: physical assault, obsessive behavior, verbal abuse, destruction of property, homophobia Original post: March 15, 2026 Hi everyone, I've been a listener and lurker for a some time now. I thought I'd come here first I remember a similar post pop up and really need advice on what to do :((. I have been in a few activities with Rory (20F) over the past school year and we grew close, though we were friendly before, but didn't know a lot about each other. I found out she had a boyfriend of a year that happened to be from the same high school I went to (not super odd since a few of my schoolmates from before are also now in my college) and I chalked it up to one of those 'what a small world' kinda things. Rory and I got even closer this past semester since we are both in the student government and the student paper, we hang out a lot outside of activities and I include her in some of the hangouts of my closer friend group. In one of the hangouts we met her boyfriend Logan (20M). Ever since that hangout, I keep meeting Logan in places where I would normally be and places where I planned to be. Again, I would normally chalk this up to being a coincidence, but the city where my college is in is HUGEE. I don't even see some of my closest friends on a random day if not for it being planned. It happens on my cafe spot where I study, or places I mention to my friends I'll be doing errands in, it's started to feel scary how often I see him that I get scared going outside and meeting him. He is nice when we meet but I get a sick feeling whenever we talk and I feel like I’m being scrutinized or watched. I don't know how it keeps happening and I haven't really told anyone because it sounds weird in my own head, what more to others? I want to speak to Rory about it because maybe she has an idea why he is essentially stalking me, but I don't really how to move from here or to articulate what I want to say. I don't even know if I should talk to Rory at all because I don't want to come across as a homewreckers or anything or blow up our really nice friendship. Any advice please would be really helpful :(( Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Girl, trust your gut. That sick feeling? That’s your intuition trying to protect you. You’re not being dramatic this is genuinely unsettling behavior. The fact that he keeps showing up in places you’ve only mentioned to friends (and in a huge city, no less) is a huge red flag. Please talk to Rory, but be gentle with yourself when you do. You’re not accusing you’re sharing facts and how it’s making you feel. A real friend will listen. And honestly? You deserve to feel safe in your everyday spaces. Sending you strength 💛. OOP: Thank you I really appreciate it! I'm still thinking of how to approach Rory because I've known her less than her boyfriend and I really don't want to blow everything up. I hope I can drop some hints or figure out a way to see if she knows about his behavior Commenter 2: does he approach you when you see him in these locations and if so does he try to keep communicating with you or just says hi and goes on his way? I would def try to ignore him or just say hi and go whenever that happens. also, are you sharing your location with Rory or anyone else that might be his mutual friend? I would personally turn off location sharing except a few most trusted people. I would also block him on sns. OOP: I'll block him asap. I don’t really share location, but I do tend to talk about places I would be (like the library, this grocery store, etc.) cause I happen to talk to my friends about it. The first two times I approached him thinking Rory was with him but after that I got the sense that he would be alone if I ever spot him, since then he was the one approaching me or bumping into me. We use to talk about stuff we have in common, mostly Rory, but as of recent I try to finish the conversation asap and leave... Commenter 3: Check your bags and other items for trackers. Do you post a lot on social media telling people what you are up to? Change the routes you take. Please talk to other people about his behaviour. Please remember you do not have to interact with him just because he's your friend's boyfriend. There's no reason for you to spend any time with him whatsoever. OOP: Thank you, I'll leave if I ever spot him again... I'm pretty lowkey on social media and my Instagram has been private since I made years ago. I haven't even though of checking for a tracker... Commenter 4: Also, keep a detailed log! Note where and when you see him in your current routine, and then if relevant when and where you see him in your new one. And obviously, IGNORE HIM. Do not engage. Do not respond. You do not have to be polite to this person. If you just can't take being "rude", keep replies short and brief. "Sorry, I have to go." And then leave. Yeah it's not fair that you have to leave a place because he's there, but you want to send a clear, if unspoken, message that you are not interested in him in any way. And document all that too. And then when you talk to Rory, just present the evidence and say, this is making me feel weird. I care about you and thought you should know. OOP: I'll try to do this the whole week and see if I see him less   Update #1: March 20, 2026 (five days later) Hi everyone! I wanted to thank the people who gave really sound advice last week on my (honestly rambly post/vent rant) and to those who reached out to check in the days after to see if I alright. I wasn’t expecting such a warm and welcoming reception and that really helped me push through this week :)) Before the actual update, here are some stuff I wanted to assure you all: - I had my car checked by three shops and was doubly assured that there wasn’t any trackers. We even asked a friend of mine who had a sketchy ex in the past to use their bug sweeper on everything and all (my car, my things, my apartment, my clothes, etc.) came out clean. - Someone asked what we normally discuss when we meet and I can't say it’s anything of note. He normally approaches me and asks me how I am doing and what was I doing at the place and sometimes about what Rory did the day. Sometimes it was what I liked, or some questions friends would ask when they get to know each other, which I wouldn’t mind answering if it weren’t for the fact that he was showing up in a lot of places I frequent (and I was suspecting him of stalking me). Here is the update: I followed the advice some commenters suggested which was to change my routine. I felt it wasn't enough to randomize it just to avoid him, so I decided to do that police tactic thing where certain specific info was given to suspects to see who was the snitch since I honestly dk how he could’ve stalked me on some places (somewhere out of the city, some were pretty hidden spots, etc.) I told Rory (my new friend and his girlfriend) that I would be in this cafe near school on Wednesday after we had a meeting. I have cleared my suspicion for most of my friends at this point, so it was Rory and another that I wanted to test. I stayed with a friend across the road in a bodega and saw Logan come inside the cafe where I said I was after an hour I said I would be there on. I didn't have the best mood after confirming that Logan was using Rory to stalk me, so I didn't go out of my house all of Thursday cause I was stressed out of mind and didn’t know how to move forward with the discovery. Fortunately, Today, I confronted Rory about it after I mustered up all the courage and tried to see if she was unknowingly helping him and she was just relaying info without malice. We met after I texted her that I wanted to talk about the agenda from the Wednesday meeting in a mutual friend's dorm room (who was also present as they were part of the sgov as well + was aware of what’s happening with my suspicions), and she came. An hour in of me fiddling and trying to find the right moment to start my hinting, I followed one of the comment of my last post and kind of stated that I kept seeing Logan in all the places I’ve been frequenting for the past month. It started out really well, but when I pressed that it was odd that I was seeing him almost every week, she got this really odd look on her face and asked me if I was trying to accuse her bf of being gay, which took me off guard. Yeah, I am gay (not to be confused) but it was weird how she went to that direction?? I backtracked and said that I wasn’t accusing him of anything but that I kept seeing him and I brought up the fact that I told her I would be in a cafe on Wed and he came after, which I then asked if he asked her about my whereabouts. I think things got really out of hand after that and she then said that he did ask but it was more of a 'concerned boyfriend checking on their gf hanging out with a guy' kind of way instead of the stalkerish kind of way. I got really confused here and tried to say that it gave off stalkerish vibes on my perspective and she got really mad that I was, on her mind, accusing her bf of being interested in me and was gay for the second time. Our mutual friend broke us off cause things were getting loud and incoherent, with no belief that we would make sensible conversation, and Rory left the dorm after that. I did speak to my friend if I was taking it the wrong way and she assured me that (regardless of my gender and orientation) men had stalkers too and that she supported me if Rory tried to accuse me of anything. I asked my close friends the same thing and assured me that I was very public with my gayness so it would be weird for Logan to assume I would be a threat to their relationship. I'm currently in my apartment and I’m starting to wonder if I was taking it the wrong way?? Would a guy keep tabs on a dude his girlfriend was friends with? I’m once again at my wits end but I’m trying not to spiral because all the important people (friends family, etc.) support me. I don't know what’s going to happen next, but I would be really appreciative for any advice. Thanks. EDIT (March 22, 2026): Thank you all for the advice and the comforting words, it truly means a lot to me. Unfortunately, despite what many of the commenters suggested, I am unable to 'fully' break off my tie to Rory (and subsequently her bf) as the semester ends in mid-April for me and we have a ton of year end stuff to go through in the student government and the university paper. Fortunately, I do have other friends in those two orgs so I will be very much applying for their help until the sem ends so I can be with someone at all in case worse comes to reality. Once again, thank you all so much! Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I want to say maybe Logan is curious but there are much easier ways to go DL. could he be jealous of your relationship w/ Rory? Like trying to find out what is so neat about you? I mean I have no idea. OOP: I don’t go out of my way to hang out with Rory, and we mostly hang out for sgov or the paper. We are often surrounded by mutual friends and very rarely one on one alone w each other. I do think that he may be DL and I’m hoping my friend and I can find evidence that he is or something Commenter 2: That’s not the behaviour of somebody who’s keeping tabs on his girlfriend. Which would be probably about again of itself. Rather, he’s going out of his way to meet up with you. OOP: I said this!!! But for reason Rory was hung up on me accusing her boyfriend when I genuinely am fearing for my safety and she kept denying a man could stalk a man. Theres something going on with them and idk when I can even hear her side when she’s pissed and probably told Logan what I said Commenter 3: There is the possibility Logan is a homophobe and has been stalking you with the intent to physically harm you. I would actually suggest this concern to Rory if she again accuses you of suggesting Logan is gay. And if she keeps it up, I would start to wonder if she is a homophobe and has been egging Logan on, to prove to her he isn’t gay. OOP: I don’t want to spiral but I have to admit this has crossed my mind since we fought earlier today. I doubt Rory is like that since she has been a staunch ally since I am openly gay, but it’s doesn’t hurt to doubt her... I guess I’m reeling a little that this might be a possibility Commenter 4: Your suspicions were spot on and the fact that Logan showed up at that cafe after you told only Rory proves he's been using her to track you down. The whole "concerned boyfriend" excuse is bullshit - normal guys don't systematically show up everywhere their girlfriend's friends hang out, especially when those friends are clearly not romantic competition. Rory jumping straight to the gay accusation is her deflecting because deep down she probably knows his behavior is weird but doesn't want to admit her boyfriend is a creep. You did exactly the right thing with that test - that's some solid detective work right there. The mutual friend backing you up shows other people can see how sketchy this whole situation is too. Trust your gut on this one because Logan's pattern of behavior screams stalker, not "protective boyfriend," and Rory's defensive reaction just confirms she's been feeding him information whether she wants to admit it or not. OOP: Thank you, this was such a tough thing to go through all week, and I was starting to think I was jumping the gun. I'm not sure if this will conclusively stop the stalking but I'm continuing randomizing and shutting up about my whereabouts until I'm sure.   Update #2: May 10, 2026 (nearly two months later) Hello everyone. I don’t want to make a long update because I don’t really want to revisit what happened over the month so I will condense it as much as I can and if anyone has questions, I will do my best to answer. Long story short: Logan has been taken to the local police station, and I have successfully filed a RO on both of them (Logan and Rory). After the confrontation, Rory began bringing Logan everywhere which did not help their case as rumors spread of what happened with us (dorm room walls are not soundproof) and Logan would just STARE at me whenever Rory was looking away or busy doing something else. Not long after, a lot of our mutual friends dropped Rory as Logan would join their hangouts and would (unprompted) go on a rant about how bad of a person I was (making up lies abt me) and go on a crazed angry speech on "femboids" ruining the image of men in the current age. This kept going for two to three ish weeks during the finals/project phase of school but kind of died down as I finished off everything and prepared to graduate. Where it went wrong: I had invited my close friends and some others to a nice night out as graduation was close by and everyone invited had an award to be celebrated. Not sure who leaked it, but Rory and Logan got a hold that I was having dinner at this restaurant that had these private rooms for parties and SHOWED UP. I clearly did not invite them to the celebration, and I had asked my male friends to get them out, but Rory seemed insistent to stay, and Logan remained quiet the whole back and forth. The argument got heated that some waiters came to de-escalate but it seemed like he had enough and SHOVED Rory out of the way and the friend who was arguing with her. I don’t know what made him snap, but he had reached me and managed to push me to the ground. I hit the chair and table on the way down and was delirious from the pain that ached everywhere, I completely did not register that Logan seemed intent to get on top of me (probably to punch me or something, maybe even attempt at my life in some way). Fortunately my friends grabbed him and tried to hold him down, but he kept trying to break free from their grasp. By the time I managed to get to my senses, some of the security staff had come and Rory seemed shocked by the entire event that just occurred. They got taken out. A friend had suggested I get the CCTV of what happened and use it to get an RO, which I did the day after. Some days later, the police got back to me and asked to do an interview of some sort. I discussed what happened over the past few months and the lady who I spoke to me took me very seriously and had told me they would try to get a warrant for their devices as I mentioned they managed to track me down in some way and I feared that would continue. Fortunately, I had evidence of a crime committed and probable cause of stalking, so this was done, I thank the lady and her team for being so incredibly amazing with my case. Another few days roll by and I went down to the station. I went with my younger brother as my family arrived in town for my graduation a few days later. On the station, they had informed me that on both Logan's and Rory's devices, tons of images and videos of me were found. NOT ONLY THAT, text messages show that they had planned to attempt at finding my apartment and do something. Due to the evidence, I will be pressing charges. On the bright side of things, I graduated with Latin honors and got a lot of medals for the activities I have done in college. I am happy to say that I am currently back at home and will be isolating myself for a good month before even thinking of adventuring out again. That’s all from me :) Relevant Comments Commenter 1: If he is from your HS, does that mean he/his family live in your hometown? Have you made your local PD aware of the RO and situation? OOP: Both of my HS and college are in the city/urban while my hometown is on the countryside/rural area. In both cases I stayed in a dorm/apartment. From what I am aware of, he is not from my hometown and is from the city itself. Was Rory always like that? OOP: Rory herself I would say no. She does ask questions a lot but again, we were friends, and asking questions was kind of a given thing. I knew she held grudges and often said malicious things, but it always came off as a jokey way (e.g.: I hope they trip and fall, I hope they get ran over, etc.) OOP explains more about the text messages found on Logan and Rory's devices OOP: From what I saw on the text messages, they intended to confront me about the "rumors" I was spreading (which were spread because of the argument I had with Rory at my friends dorm and a few friends sharing it with their classmates). It didn't say anything explicit, but the tone and language used that they intended to scare the shit out of me. l Commenter 2: Glad you were able to get a restraining order and that you graduated. In your first post about this situation, you said that Logan had also attended your high school. Are you certain that you have not been on his radar for much longer than his meeting you via Rory? I mention this not to make you afraid, but because this would shed some light on his mental state. I'm sorry that you went through this and I hope that this chapter is concluded. OOP: Thank you! :) Personally I have tried to dig around among classmates to know about Logan, but he didn’t make that many friends to know how he was in HS. One thing we suspect due to how oddly violent and focused he was on me, was that I may have been his gay awakening or crush or fixation in HS and it slowly began to spiral without me knowing. Commenter 3: Did you ever find out WHY this nutcase was stalking you? Not that stalkers are rational, I'm just wondering wtf motivated him. OOP: Nope! Still don't know why exactly. We suspect he is one of those red pillers / incels since his rants bare a lot of similarity to them. We also tried finding out if he was a DL with no such luck. My friend suspect that since he went to my school the same time as me in HS, I might’ve been his gay awakening, and he didn't really like that. All theories though.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Haunting_Beauty_229 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1, #2 [Final Update]: AITAH for telling an exchange student to not date my son and possibly ending my marriage? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: abuse, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, mental health issues, grooming, emotional manipulation, racism, misogyny, child abandonment Mood Spoilers: optimistic RECAP Original Post: June 8, 2025 So, I (40F) have two kids, my daughter Liz (12) and son Toby (19). I'm going to be honest, Toby has become a perverted degenerate. Because Toby is his son, my husband (54) tended to spoil Toby a lot and indulge his interest (which included 18+ movies and my husband's stash of old Playboys). My husband would say 'he's a teenager, let him be' despite me telling him that Toby was growing to be a degenerate. This was ESPECIALLY true for Asian women. We had an Asian cleaner (we're pretty well off), who Toby would hit on and harass until she smacked him across the face when he tried to lift her skirt. My husband wanted to press charges, but I threatened to divorce him if he did and I would make sure everybody knew what a pervert Toby was. I made sure to give her a nice bonus before referring her to a friend, and then hired an older man in her place. Toby sulked for three months following that. I can already hear the comments "why threaten divorce when you could just do it", and it's because I didn't want to uproot Liz. I have been saving a small chunk of the weekly grocery money since she was born and have a lot saved in a secret account. I originally planned to get the best divorce lawyer once Liz goes to college and leave him, but considering everything that happened these past few hours, I may need to move my plans up. I realized I was basically groomed not long after Toby began exhibiting that problematic behavior, and I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary, as my husband is white and I am Latina. Most of the community knows I was groomed, so I have a lot of friends in the neighborhood because of it. They serve as my eyes, and it keeps Toby in check while in public (something that he makes clear annoys him). Anyway, our neighbor recently had his prior exchange student come back for a visit (he hosted a few years back). For the sake of the post, I will call her Kimi. Kimi is incredibly bright and happy, she's always smiling and waving at people in the street. This would be all fine and dandy if she hadn't done so to Toby, who she caught coming back from hanging out with friends. She was on my neighbor's front porch, having tea with my neighbor's wife, when they caught each other's eyes. To be honest, Toby was smitten, but I didn't trust it. I noticed he and Kimi would talk for hours on the porch the following week. And we even had her over for tea a few times over the course of that week. Liz absolutely adores her, and the two would talk about fashion and the newest anime and manhwas (I have no idea if I spelt that right, but the Korean version of manga). Fast forward to two days ago and we're having tea with Kimi, my neighbor's wife, and I. Kimi asked if she could possibly date Toby, and both the neighbor's wife and I froze up. I put down my cup and I was blunt, I told her Toby was a lot like his father in the fact that he doesn't see women as a gentleman should. I brought up the Asian maid, and told her Toby may look at her the same way, even if he doesn't seem to right now. I then explained my husband was the same way, love bombing and cherishing me, and I realized too late the kind of man he was. My neighbor's wife cut in, saying that she knows I had tried to set Toby straight, but some nature is too strong to change. I then finished saying that if she did decide to date Toby, I would be honored. I also informed her I'd have her back if Toby ever tried to pull anything shady, and so would most of the neighborhood. Kimi silently nodded, seemingly understanding. Now, Kimi is ignoring Toby. She came over this morning to pick up Liz for a shopping day, and Toby tried to say hi. But, she just ignored him and told me goodbye before Liz shut the door. Toby mumbled a slur while pouting, and I had enough. I rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of 'and that's why I warned her about you'. I honestly didn't mean to slip up, but I was exhausted from not sleeping (I have chronic migraines). Toby looked at me, and it looked like heartbreak. But, I looked at him straight in the eyes and told him 'I tried to make you a gentleman, but you and your father kept acting like perverted asses. If you want to blame anybody, blame your father. He allowed you to become this way'. Toby stormed to his room and I got a text from my husband an hour later, asking why I would sabotage my own son like that. I texted back basically the same thing, that I had enough of Toby looking at women like objects and that if he had been a good father, I wouldn't view my son as a pervert. We had a chance to fix his behavior, but he enabled him. My husband is now furious with me, and Toby has yet to leave his room. Liz and Kimi are still out, and I texted my neighbor's wife to ask if the two can sleepover at her place since I have a feeling my husband is already going to start a fight with me. The neighbor offered to come over and act as a mediator and shield (he's a big guy), and I took him up at that offer. I'm shaking, I'm scared, and I probably imploded my marriage. All because I warned a very kind girl about the kind of boy my son is. I feel like I'm about to throw up, I have no idea what my husband is going to do or say. All I know is he's mad, Toby is mad, but Liz and Kimi are safe. My nieghbor said he's going to be over before my husband gets home, and I honestly am left wondering if what I did is actually for the best. AITAH for warning an exchange student about my son and ruining my marriage? AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA, and holy shit, get the entire cavalry. The entire neighborhood is going to want a piece of him if he hurts you. I’m so sorry this is happening to you OP! Does Liz know her brother’s a pervert? OOP: You're sweet, thank you. Liz does know, she never has friends over because she is scared Toby will try something. Commenter 2: Are you sure Toby hasn't tried something with his sister? Or cousins? It isn't too late to teach Toby about boundaries and consent. What is legal and what is not. OOP: My husband is an only child and all my family lives in my home country, so visits are rare. I don't think he's tried anything with his cousins, and even if he did, pretty sure his uncles and male cousins would beat the crap out of him. I have talked to Liz and she told me he's never done anything to her or her friends, but they say he gives off 'creep vibes' and just watches them from a distance. Liz knows if anything does happen, I'm safe to talk to. Toby has assaulted people before, he was expelled from school twice before 16 for touching staff and peers (that was one of the first times I had him tested). So, he has a track record of this kind of behavior. It's why the whole neighborhood watches him. Ever since his second expulsion, he hasn't had any legal trouble. The people he assaulted before dropped the charges once he was expelled and settled out of court both times. Downvoted Commenter: Sounds like you’re taking your anger of your husband out on your son. The son sounds like his had problems, but keeping him an incel probably isn’t helping. OOP: I tried for his entire teen years to get him to do something else aside from staying home. From clubs to sports, he didn't want to do any of it. He didn't like any of the community things (like fairs or markets) either. Even the library's book club didn't work out. I've had him tested for any mental things (like ADHD or Autism) and he came out with nothing. I have no idea how to help him and my husband just enabled him. I love Toby, I just don't know what to do anymore   Update #1: July 11, 2025 (a little over a month later) Hello everybody, I just wanted to clarify a few things before I update you all. Firstly, Toby is my son (I think a lot of people were under the impression that he was just my husband's, I guess I worded that strangely). Second, everything I have done to try to prevent any form of escalation of Toby's behavior was dismissed by my husband. Any punishments were immediately reversed when he got home. Thirdly, I got Toby tested for any form of mental disability after his first expulsion (he's been expelled twice), and he is neurotypical as far as the test go (I got him tested for ADHD, ASD, OCD, and BPD). Fourth, my husband has never been violent towards my children and I, if he's upset, he'll direct that energy to something else or activity. Fifth, it feels like a lot of people thought I was 'stealing from my family' by skimming money from the grocery budget. But, it was just spare change and notes from after my shopping trips. It's not like I was stealing the entire grocery budget. And finally, yes, I can hear and understand the 'why haven't you left' or 'why didn't you do this?'. It's taken a lot of talking between my family, friends, and now you people of Reddit, for me to realize Liz and I didn't deserve this, ESPECIALLY Liz. So, now for the update, I am filing for divorce. I packed Liz up and took her back to my home country for 'girls time' with her cousins. While there, I made and had a virtual appointment with two different lawyers from the same firm. They are currently drafting the paperwork, but they also recommended I talk to local law enforcement about a possible protective order against Toby and my husband. Given their behavioral tendencies, I may consider it. And before everyone comes after me for 'abandoning Toby', this hurts me too. But, at this point, I have to protect Liz. And if I plan to have full custody of her (which the lawyers said was highly guaranteed if Toby continues to live with my husband), I need to separate myself from them. I'm still in my home country, talking to my family about everything. Just as I confirmed before, Toby has not gone after any of his cousins (I asked since I needed any additional accounts for legal reasons). Right now, I'm ok, but honestly, I don't know if I'll update again. I just really want to put this entire situation at rest, so, I may see you guys again or I may not. But, thank you all for the support, advice, and courage. Comments Commenter 1: Please be careful. Your husband may have international law on his side if you file for divorce while out of the country. Especially if you and Liz are not citizens of whatever country you are currently visiting. You need to make sure that the legal firm you are working with is very familiar with international divorce and custody laws while you pursue this while outside the country you and Liz have been living in. Also, as a follow-up to your last post, no, "degeneracy" is not hereditary. Fetishizing exotic women is not hereditary. These behaviors are not coded in DNA; they are taught, and your son was taught to behave this way by his father. Which also means you're going to need to think about your role in your son's life; I'd suggest you prioritize therapy for you and your daughter (separately) ASAP. Commenter 2: It was so obvious from the first post that OP is an abused wife. Her husband has not had to get violent with her. The fact that he’s violent around her and the children is abuse. The fact that she needs to skim money from the groceries to have an escape fund indicates financial abuse. Enabling an encouraging the sons degenerate and misogynistic behavior is abuse. He has been abusing his wife and his children, especially his daughter for years. And the fact that anybody would accuse her of stealing from her family because she holds on to a couple of dollars from the grocery budget is indicative of the way, so many people Think that it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your family financially. I am glad OP is getting out. I hope that her family has her back and her husband hasn’t been financially supporting her family in her country so that they encourage her to stay. Good luck OP!!! and make sure the lawyers go after every penny you can get Commenter 3: You’re doing the right thing by protecting Liz and yourself. It’s heartbreaking, but sometimes distance is the only way to truly create safety and peace. Wishing you strength moving forward.   Update #2: July 26, 2025 (15 days later from the last update) Hello again, everybody. Just wished to keep everybody posted on the current situation, and thank those who support me in this difficult time. This update is luckily, more positive, and I am happy to say that I am not giving up on Toby! I am currently back in my husband's home country, I think people were under the impression I was going to take Liz back to my home country, but I've stated before that I don't want to uproot her. I just wished to look into legal matters and get my mind sorted. I had a few friends in the neighborhood who offered to let me and Liz move into their place, and I took one up on the offer (she lives closer to Liz's school so it works out better that way). I served my husband divorce papers two days after my last post and moved Liz and I out the day of. And two days after we moved out, Toby was found lurking outside of Liz's school. He was having a mental breakdown and screaming, and was detained for trespassing. As far as I know and what witnesses have told me and the police, he was a complete wreck. I was also told he had been taken to the hospital for a psyche evaluation and was placed in a 72 hour hold. I wasn't allowed to visit him and according to the nurses and doctor, my husband made no attempts to visit him or even speak to the doctor. Toby was diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder, as he showed classic symptoms from narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. His emotional breakdown came from the fact that I left, and when I was finally able to see him, it broke my heart. He kept crying and saying he didn't know why he was like this, and I just held him. He hasn't cried that hard since he was a child and it honestly gave me a slight sliver of hope that Toby could still be a part of my life. I sat in on his next therapy session (mandatory while in the facility). And he apologized for how he acted, but I told him that the apology came a little too late. I told him that I am happy that he wants to get better, but I needed space. That our contact wouldn't be nonexistent, just limited (one message I received actually told me that I could send him a voice message, and I think that is a wonderful idea). I told him that if he proved he could be better, we can have full blown contact again. I am currently working with the doctors to find a suitable facility for him, as I made it clear that if he went back to my husband, he would never get better. I figured a voice memo a month or maybe a video call, just so he doesn't think I've given up on him. And in six months, maybe a year, hopefully he has the tools, coping mechanisms, and medicine he needs. I also helped him look at online classes, just so he can branch out again and try to get an education. So, that's where things stand right now. No updates on my husband, I don't know if he got a lawyer or what he's planning. But, I am safe, Liz is doing good, and Toby is getting better. That's all I have for now. I realized I was too hard on Toby, and I plan to not only acknowledge that in my first video message, but apologize for it. A lot of the comments opened my eyes as to how hard I was on him, even tho most of his behavior wasn't just his fault, but mine and my husband's (or I guess future ex husband). Thank you all for your support, advice, and comments. Harsh or not, I'm glad I posted on here. Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: So sad that Toby had a breakdown, but it sounds like it was for the better since now he's getting help. Glad you and Liz are out and safe, but no word from husband, even with his son in the hospital is worrying. Hope all gets better now. OOP: I also think the silence is worrying, but I am going to enjoy the calm while I can. Commenter 2: Wishing you both stability and connection. 💛. If you find that your voice memos really help him process things, maybe you could try sending a couple more each month? Just a thought — it makes me sad to see stories like this. These disorders can be really intense, but as you said — with the right psych support, well-targeted therapy, and meds, I genuinely believe things can become more manageable over time. Functional, even. Hoping for an update in a year or two with some good news. 🍀. OOP:** That is a good idea! I will run it by his current doctor! Thank you for the advice! Commenter 3: I don't know if only contacting him once a month is a good idea. You're leaving a lot of space for your husband to come back in and swoop him into his manipulations. I think you do need to have more contact even if it hurts you, if you want to help him heal. Commenter 4: I'm happy you're not giving up on Toby and still want to protect both your children and yourself. I'm glad your daughter is happy and carefree and hope it remains like that. However. You need to have someone with her and someone with you wherever you go. The silence your husband is having issues threatening and he's for sure making a plan to destroy you all. So gather evidence from throughout the years and everything recently and keep two separate copies just in case. And please, please, get someone to go with your daughter and you at all times. Your STBEXH is gonna make a move and it will be drastic. He's being cornered, and animals are at its dangerous peak when they feel cornered and threatened. Get both of you "spy" GPS trackers in bracelets or something in case he gets one or both of you. Be always alert until someone can contact him.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Final Update: November 8, 2025 (3.5 months later from the last update) FINAL UPDATE: AITAH for telling an exchange student not to date my son and possibly ending my marriage? Hello everyone! I know it has been a while, but I just wanted to get this final update out for everybody. It has been a busy few months for me, so I will try to make the timeline easy. But, first, I want to thank everybody who has supported me through this. It means the world to me, Liz, and Toby. First off, I got a job. Once I moved out, I took the liberty to apply for part time work. I needed something that would allow me to still be a part of Liz's life while also saving for an apartment or something. Liz's school is in a pretty nice area, so it is taking a while for me to save enough money. But, the person who is allowing us to stay says she doesn't mind. I do cook for her and help tidy the house as a thank you, I'm forever grateful for her support. Liz is doing great, I'm looking at therapist for her. I think it would be best for her to have a safe place to vent that isn't me or one of her friends. I also know that with the upcoming divorce, she is going to need a little extra guidance she might not feel like sharing with me. Now, before I tell you all about Toby, I once again want to thank everybody for helping both him and I. Our relationship has gotten better since his diagnoses. I am aware progress is hardly linear, it took two months to figure out dosages and therapies, and we even found a homing service for him. He currently lives in a facility where he shares a dormitory. Four rooms to a dorm, so he has his own space, a communal area, and he can begin to make friends with boys his own age. I took people's advice and we decided a video chat a week would be sufficient. He is apparently having a nice time, and we have him enrolled for spring classes online for next year. He has two therapy sessions a week, plus the facility has a counselor for urgent cases. My hope is he can get down to one session per week eventually, but I think he just has a lot to unpack mentally. Finally, my ex husband. Apparently, his lawyer told him there wouldn't be much of a case for him. Due to amounting evidence, up to and including the state of Toby, as well as multiple character witnesses, he would most likely be made to pay child support for Liz and the courts will heavily favor me. So, he cut his losses and decided to terminate his parental rights to Liz. It was surprising receiving that letter, but nonetheless, I think he finally made a good decision. His rights are not fully terminated yet, and he does have supervised visitation with Liz every two weeks, though he rarely shows up (probably thinks it will help him have his rights are terminated faster). In regards to assets, my lawyers said that since I had proof of emotional, mental, and financial abuse, the courts would favor me in terms of assets. We did not have a prenup or anything protecting him, so my guess is assets will be split 50/50. Though, I don't want anything in the house. I already took my own personal items, as well as heirlooms that he could sell. I honestly just wish to wash my hands of him, though it isn't ever that simple. Our next court date is set for sometime in December. I won't lie and say I'm 100% ok, I do still sometimes worry for Liz and Toby. I still have tea with the neighbors, they assure me I'm doing the right thing. As do my family and friends, I am surrounded by support. I also received a card from Kimi from my old neighbor, apparently she is a lurker here and recognized the story! So, if you're reading this Kimi, your letter made me laugh and I am so glad you are doing well! Things have mostly settled, I still wake up some nights with a pit in my stomach and dread clouding my thoughts. But, overall, I think I am doing the best I can. I was also looking at therapy for myself, though I would like to finish my divorce before doing that. I think this will be my final update regarding my children and situation, once again, thank you for your support everyone :) Relevant Comments Commenter 1: So, terminating parental rights doesn’t usually mean you don’t owe child support. If you married another man and he adopted Liz, then your ex wouldn’t owe it. But I find it strange that the court would waive child support if he just gave up his rights. Deadbeat fathers all over the place would take that route if it got them out of child support obligations. OOP: It could have something to due with how property is divided. I think the topic will be discussed more in the December meeting Commenter 2: Just because he terminated his parental rights doesn't mean he is free of his financial responsibility in most states. OOP: I am not American, I am from Europe!! But, I understand the confusion!! :)   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hey guys, Sorry for all the text. My daughter, first to go off to school, started college last week, and moved into her college dorm the week before that. It is / was a big deal to all of us for a lot of reasons, a big one also being that she's far from home. It's about an eight hour drive from us so I was definitely grappling with the "if something happens I'm far away" aspect of a growing child's independence. During that first week of school they were already having some issues in their dorm with their upstairs neighbors constantly making a lot of noise at night. They tried going up to talk to them, no one was there so they left a note asking them to keep it down late at night. The neighbors came down to talk to them about it and basically told them they were lying and they're not making noise. I did tell her it's possible they aren't doing it intentionally, it's likely a new home for them too and maybe they just don't know how thick / thin the floors are. I've dealt with similar things in apartment buildings I've lived in where people said I was making all kinds of noise and I had no idea what they were talking about. They tried talking to the RA who said they spoke to the people in that room too but nothings changed. Now that's all so far what id consider normal interpersonal kinda stuff you have to learn to deal with as you become more independent. Then this morning I wake up to texts at 330 am from her that someone/people basically tried to break into their room while they were sleeping. They woke up to someone furiously trying the handle, then repeatedly slamming into the room while they could hear people laughing, and then people going off down the hall laughing. So this obviously scared the shit out of them, bunch of teenage girls on their own for the first time in their lives. This is the point where I'm really mixed and need advice on what to do next. I get part of the experience is learning some independence, learning conflict management and things like that. I don't want to be the parent hundreds of miles away who needs to hover over everything happening there but at the same time WTF. It's so frustrating and angering for so many reasons. These kids, the roommates too not just my daughter, are here so excited about this new stage of their lives and their college career, which also getting in was a big deal, trusting them to this school was a big deal, and the amount of money being paid to this school is not insignificant, for their literal first week to devolve into them being terrorized by some assholes upstairs both making them now fear for their safety AND potentially impacting their actual studies. Her exact words "Like truly if we hadn't had our door locked they would've just come in" My daughter is in a very competitive and difficult program, dual majoring in mechanical and aerospace engineering, which she should be able to focus on instead of this BS. Do I keep giving her advice but leave it in her hands to try and manage? Do I proactively contact the school? Something else? submitted by /u/Gimme_The_Loot to r/daddit [link] [comments]

Title: Just Moved Into My New Loft – Looking for Cozy Vibes & Gamer/Sports-Themed Ideas! Hey Reddit! I just moved into my new loft apartment, and while I’m absolutely loving the open space and high ceilings, it feels a bit empty and needs that cozy, welcoming touch. I’m a huge gamer and sports fanatic, so I’d love to incorporate those passions into the decor. I’m reaching out for some feedback and ideas: Gaming Setup: How can I make my gaming area both functional and a statement piece? RGB lighting? Wall art? Display shelves for collectibles? Sports Vibes: Any creative ways to showcase my favorite teams without making it look like a college dorm room? Framed jerseys? Vintage memorabilia? submitted by /u/nerdx_inked to r/malelivingspace [link] [comments]

**I am NOT OP. The OP of this story is u/jaht_ouze.** Trigger Warnings: Sexual Assault, Incest, Accusations of Infidelity. I think my husband is having an affair with his step-sister, July 12th, 2024. Just what the title says. I believe my (24f) husband (24m) and his step-sister (23f) are having an affair, my head is spinning and I don’t know what to do. My husband’s parents got divorced when he was 15 and his dad remarried when he was 17. His step-mom has one daughter, let’s call her Jess, who was 16 at the time of the marriage. They all lived together for about a year and a half before he left for college which is where him and I met freshman year. Our sophomore year Jess began going to the same school as us, he introduced her to our friend group and she quickly became a part of it. They always seemed more like friends than siblings because obviously their parents didn’t marry till they were older, but they’d sometimes refer to each other as bro and sis. Back then I sometimes got the vibe that she was flirting with him, but he never returned it and I just brushed it off as her personality and that I was being crazy bc no way that would happen. Fast forward to now, we all still live in our hometown and see each other pretty often. Jess is single and hasn’t had a boyfriend in several years, her and my husband are still very close. When we are all hanging out together (including their parents) if we’re sitting on the couch she will sit right up against him, sometimes even put her head on his shoulder if he’s showing her videos on his phone. I have always found it odd but again have brushed it off. Of course they aren’t actually related but it would still be too taboo and weird, so I’ve never fully let myself have the suspicions. However over the last 6 months things have been getting weirder. Both my husband and I’s birthdays are in April and only a week apart so over the last couple years we’ve kind of just combined them and celebrated both at the same time. We had friends and family over, and normally we also receive joint gifts but this year Jess got my husband something specific to him (fairly expensive gaming headphones and a watch) but nothing for me, and she also got him a card and wrote a decent amount in it. I didn’t get to read it when we were opening things and then later on I couldn’t find it, when I asked my husband where it was he brushed it off saying oh he must’ve accidentally thrown it out with its envelope, but the envelope was still with everything else on the counter. They’ve been texting a lot more and she’s also been talking to me less (remember her and I have been friends for the last 5 years). Sometimes I’ll see texts from her pop up on his phone screen and there will be 🤍 💕 😍 emojis. This will be while he’s holding it and he’ll unlock it pretty fast so I’ve never really been able to see what they say. If I ask her to meet up or hangout with just me, she’s always busy. But if it’s her coming over our home to see the both of us she never says no. He also has been going to see her more often (which is kind of a complicated detail bc she still lives at home with her mom and his dad so he just tells me he’s going to hangout with his dad for a bit), but I have a feeling it’s for her. Him and I have also been less intimate lately. Neither of us have ever had super high sex drives but we have always averaged at least twice a week, and now it’s about 2-3 times a month. What’s pushed me over the edge is when we all got together this passed July 4th. We were at my FIL’s house for a big cookout/pool party. While in the pool she kept hanging on him from behind (picture him giving her a piggy back ride in the water), splashing him, being overly playful, etc. I kept thinking in my head I was crazy because maybe after all these years they really do have a sibling-like dynamic and she’s just messing around. But I also caught her staring at me when my husband and I were being close and she looked angry. Now, cut to the worst of it all. We all were done in the pool and went inside to change. I was with my husband in his room and right in the middle of us changing she came in without knocking randomly asking if she could borrow my hair brush. My husband didn’t have any clothes on. I was horrified and said something like omg you need to knock first, she seemed unphased and lazily covered her eyes saying oh whatever he’s basically like my brother. My husband seemed kind of embarrassed but also not as much as you’d expect. She left like it was nothing. Since then she has barely spoken to me at all and I am absolutely spiraling at the thought of this. Am I being crazy? I haven’t said anything to him yet about this because I’m so scared to be wrong and then I’m just accusing him of sleeping with his step-sister. I need others to tell me if they agree with what I’ve been seeing or not. Small update: thank you to everyone who has responded. When I made this post I was hoping for validation of my worries but also scared of that at the same time. I’m trying to keep it together and act normal around him the best I can. Tomorrow he’s going over his dad’s (so he says), so I plan to show up there and see what’s going on. Another slight update because I know you guys are invested: an update but not really, yes I did go to his dad’s house Saturday. A lot has happened since then and I haven’t been on my phone much. When I get time later tonight I will post a full update of what’s gone on. I will most likely make a new post about it because it’s been hard keeping up with the comments on this one. Bare with me as I get my head sorted out Updating to say I created a new post to give a full update on what’s happened Relevant Comments: u/acnh_evergreen: Have they always been more touchy-feely with each other (sitting close on the couch, playing in the pool etc) or has this all started recently too?? If they ARE up to something, she isn’t trying at all to hide it which is crazy to me. Unless they both think it’s so outlandish that no one would really expect it. I honestly think you could be right, but maybe only partially. It sounds to me like she has a thing for him and is becoming more brazen about it, possibly leading herself up to making a move on him, but I don’t think think everything you’ve said also leads to him cheating on you. All these years has he ever been weird toward her in return? Maybe he’s just oblivious to how strange she’s acting because he doesn’t think that way toward her at all. But no, you aren’t crazy. Her, or both of them, aren’t acting right.. OP: They’ve always been kind of playful with each other which is why I said even back in college I sometimes got the feeling she was flirting with him, but the physical closeness was never really a thing (not frequently anyway) until about 6 months ago. I’ve thought this too that maybe it’s one-sided on her end but him going over the house more often and us not having sex as much has me really worried that it’s a mutual thing u/acnh_evergreen: Yeah that’s definitely strange that he’s going to his dad’s more often. Have you ever verified that when he goes, the parents are even actually home? Maybe next time he says he’s heading over there you could: A- ask to come too B- follow him there C- wait about an hour and then call or text your FIL saying you want to talk to your husband but your texts to him won’t deliver (or something like that) and see if he confirms they’re together OP: Thank you so much for this suggestion, he actually told me the other day he plans to go there this Saturday. I may do a combination of your B and C suggestions and follow him there to even see if his dad’s car is in the driveway/if anything weird is going on. If the car is missing I’ll call my FIL and ask to talk to my husband   u/Appropriate_Put_7963: Truthfully, I don’t know any brother/sister duo that acts like that. I know siblings can be close, but not that close.. Maybe try to investigate more before springing any accusations on your husband? Seems a little odd to me though… Yikes. OP: This is what I haven’t been sure of because I have siblings but two sisters, no brothers. Also with step siblings I have no idea if it’s a different dynamic especially since they didn’t live together for very long since they were older. I definitely think I need to actually dig into this to see if I can find legitimate evidence but I’m honestly scared   Deleted Account: If I were in your shoes, I’d ask to look through his text messages. Together with him sitting right next to you, if he’d prefer. Don’t explain why. You could offer for him to look through your texts at the same time, if he’d like to. He SHOULDN’T have anything to hide, and he should hand it right over to you. He will have questions, and I’d suggest you answer them all honestly, but only after you see his texts. But, his reaction to the suggestion will tell you a lot. If he’s angry or tries to say that you’re crazy, something is up. If he disappears somewhere with his phone - he’s deleting things before he shows you. OP: I’m worried to do it this way because if their texts are totally innocent/I find nothing, I’ll have to tell him why I wanted to see it and I’ll seem nuts. He’s got an iPhone and a MacBook where his texts are synced up, so I might try to get a hold of his MacBook and read them on my own first. He uses his laptop for work mostly though and has a password on it so I’ll have to come up with some excuse about needing to borrow it u/LostGirl1976: You were with your husband in his room? You don't share a bedroom? Maybe that's why she thought it was fine to walk in. She figured you wouldn't be there. OP: We were in “his room” at his dad’s house during the party. I just call it that out of habit. At our own house we share a room of course u/Bbehm424: So let me get this straight, you were at your in laws house... Where she lives... yet she went into his room (without knocking, knowing you were both changing) asking to borrow YOUR hairbrush?.. instead of you know.. going into her own bedroom... and using her own hairbrush? OP: Yes. Obviously my worry from this is she used it as an excuse to barge in   u/AccomplishedMap4275: Wow. I’m sorry you even have to think about that. Did you ask him why she didn’t get you a birthday present? Also why didn’t you call him out on the envelope thing. I would get to the bottom this quickly. OP: I mentioned the gifts and said wow she really spoiled you, must be nice and he just kind of laughed and said yeah wow I was surprised. I didn’t say anything about the envelope but I wish I did. This was at the start of some of the more obvious signs and I was feeling so confused/nervous that I didn’t want to push it Deleted Account: That card is SAVED somewhere in your home~ in his office? In his closet? In his drawers? Business suitcase? In his tackle box? SOMEWHERE he believes you WONT be getting into usually~ I’d search EVERYWHERE while he’s out under the guise of “spring cleaning” Updateme! Remindme! 1 week OP: I have looked EVERYWHERE for the card! Believe me I’ve tried to find it. If its hidden somewhere it’s not in our house   u/winninwiggs5: Why tf did she ask for your hair brush when this is the house she lives in?! If this isn't fake, that should have been both of your immediate reactions OP: Her full statement was “hey can I borrow your hair brush? I can’t find mine”. Unfortunately this is real u/Subject_Ad_4561: Yeah something is off. Even if he’s not having an affair with her I bet they’ve had sex before. OP: Back when we were in college, one of our friends asked him about that not long after he introduced her to us. He seemed genuinely grossed out by the question and said no. At the time him and I were still just friends so I don’t think he had a reason to lie about it. I do think something is going on but I don’t think it stems that far back I think my husband and his step-sister are having an affair: UPDATE, Posted July 31st, 2024. Hey everyone. Sorry that it’s been so long since I made my original post about this (if you haven’t seen it you can find it on my profile). To say that our family has totally imploded since I last posted would be an understatement. So much has happened that I never expected or was prepared for so I apologize that I kind of ghosted all of you, but this has been really hard. Just an FYI, I’ll be mentioning text messages a fair amount and it’ll be paraphrasing. Leaving off from my last update, I did go to his dad’s house that weekend that my husband told me he was going to see him. When I got there, only my husband’s car was in the driveway. I wasn’t sure what to do, if I should try calling his dad, calling my husband or what. I decided to just go in because I didn’t want to play games. I walk in and hear his and Jess’ voices coming from the kitchen and it sounded like they were yelling. Even now I couldn’t tell you what they were saying, I was so full of adrenaline as I approached them it was like I was watching them on mute or something and not actually hearing what was happening. He spotted me and looked like a deer in the headlights, and all I could muster up was to say what’s going on?? I stared at them for a couple seconds and then my fight or flight kicked in, I’m very non confrontational so my instinct was to turn around and run. He chased after me and pulled me into a guest room to talk. Again I asked what was going on, that he’s been acting so weird and so has Jess, and point blank asked if he was cheating on me. He seemed shocked at the question but then out of nowhere started bawling his eyes out. I’ve never seen my husband cry before. He said that no he’s not cheating but has something to tell me but couldn’t do it there and needed to leave/for us to go back to our house. At first I protested and said no I needed to know right then and there but he still was having a breakdown begging me so I agreed. We left his car there and drove home together in mine but I sat in silence the whole ride as he cried and was trying to collect himself. When we got home we sat in the living room and I once again asked him what the fuck was happening and my patience had run thin. Then out came his word vomit. He told me that in college, our junior/Jess’ sophomore year, after him and a bunch of our friends had gone to a party (we were dating by this time but I wasn’t there that night, I’d come home for the weekend to hangout with family that was in town) and he got really drunk, our guy friends kind of ditched him to go hookup so Jess offered him to crash on her couch for the night (our school had on-campus apartments and she had a single bc she was an RA). He said he woke up at some point after that, with his pants down and her on top of him, having sex. He told me at the time he felt out of it and didn’t really get what was happening and that’s all he remembers was waking up and feeling it/seeing her. He then woke up again a couple hours later and she was asleep in her own bed, so he left and went back to his own dorm. He never told anyone. It took him a long time to even fully understand what had happened and he felt like he couldn’t tell anybody because 1- he felt ashamed and embarrassed 2- he didn’t think anyone would believe him 3- he didn’t want to be known as the guy that slept with his step-sister 4- he was afraid of losing me and 5- he was worried about his dad and if he found out that it could affect or ruin his new marriage and that his dad is so happy with his step-mom. He told me he basically just acted like nothing happened, even around Jess when we all hung out together. He said him and her never spoke about it or said anything until a couple years later, when him and I got engaged after graduation. She sent him a text essentially saying she loved him and thought about “that night” all the time and that why did their parents have to meet and get married, they could be together otherwise, etc. Essentially she is obsessed with him. Shamefully I will admit when he first told me all of this I wasn’t sure what to think or believe, until I saw their text messages. I questioned him saying if this was the case why are they always talking, why wouldn’t he distance himself now that we’re married and out of school. He told me it started up again with her, about 6 months ago like I said on my original post, when him and I told our families that we decided we wanted to try for a baby. He had a screenshot of the text she sent him the next day ranting about how he shouldn’t do this, marriages aren’t permanent until a baby comes into the mix, there’s still a chance for them to “be honest with their family” and for him to leave me, she still loves him after all this time, etc. He replied saying he loved me and wanted to start a family with me and that he didn’t love her in that way, and he never wanted her to bring this up to him ever again. That’s when her demeanor changed and she said if he didn’t love her, why did he f*ck her and what would their family think, essentially blackmailing him. I read through as many of their texts as I could handle and it was always her saying things like she was thinking about him, she wants to see him, she’d even send texts while we were all together telling him he looks good in that outfit. Sometimes he wouldn’t reply and others he’d be trying to have a normal convo/steer it in a different direction, and sometimes just telling her to stop it. The days he’s told me he’s going to hangout with his dad, it’s her begging him to go over there so she can see him or “she will tell her mom everything”. So he’d agree to go but he swears nothing has ever happened, that one of their parents would be there a majority of the time and it would just be all of them on the patio or in the living room. That that day, he went there to tell her he was sick of it and couldn’t do it anymore, she could tell people whatever she wants but he was done, and that’s why they were yelling. I sat there taking it all in and honestly was speechless as I did not expect any of this. I asked him about our sudden lack of intimacy (essentially only during my fertile window since we’re trying for a baby but never any other time), and he said all of this being brought up for him mentally has made him shut down about sex. He was only doing it for me bc I want a baby. That it’s taken him so long to realize/come to terms with the fact that she assaulted him. And how this harassment. I cried. I felt betrayed by her and then a heavy, deep empathy for him. I just hugged him and cried and he cried too. I told him he really needs to tell his dad because we can no longer associate with her in any way, and how can we manage that when she lives with him. At first he said no, he couldn’t because he’s worried they won’t believe him and also doesn’t want to ruin his dad’s life because how could the marriage with his step mom survive this. I told him I don’t have an answer for that, he has to trust that his dad will believe him and I was also worried about her panicking after their argument and doing something crazy. He agreed to tell his dad and said he wanted to do it alone. The following weekend he met up with dad and told him everything, showed the texts to him, etc. His dad believed him and like me was caught off guard and speechless. This led to him telling his wife and saying he was kicking Jess out, however his wife did not believe it. She claims my husband must have edited the texts somehow (actual texts in the message app that you can scroll through, and it’s Jess’ number attached to the contact). Jess freaked out, saying none of it was true and he was the one who’d been harassing her. Thats when my husband threatened to take it all to the police for an order of protection against her if she did not tell the truth, and she finally admitted to everything in an insane meltdown. His step mom is horrified, his dad doesn’t know if he can get passed her not believing my husband and accusing him. We are currently in this weird limbo phase of the whole family on edge. Jess is still living there, his dad has demanded she leave and has given her two weeks instead of kicking her out on the spot in an attempt to try and salvage the situation with his wife. My husband and I are having lots of talks, trying to regroup. We’ve put trying for a baby on hold as he seeks therapy for this. He still is considering going to the police for the harassment. My heart is broken for him and also trying to come to terms with the truth, that Jess who I’ve known for years would do something like this. I was prepared to uncover an affair but never this. I’m not sure if there will be any more updates after this, maybe if my husband decides to pursue legal action. I want to say thanks to everybody who pushed for me to dig into my suspicions otherwise this could’ve gone even further. I don’t like to think of what could’ve happened. I probably left things out so if people have questions I’ll try my best to reply to comments Relevant Comments: u/Ok-Lunch-2852: Oh wow. Thats so intense. How are you doing with all of this? Way to be there for your husband. And also I’m glad that the truth came out. OP: I’m really hurt and overwhelmed. Her and I were close friends for so long, so I’m really battling how she betrayed him but me too. And I also feel guilty for having this back-thought of feeling lied to by him, when I know this wasn’t his fault. He was assaulted and essentially stalked by her, so I in no way blame him, just trying to shake the feeling and hoping it fades   u/abbasegede77: Hello you should push your husband to go the legal route this is messed up OP: I’ve told him that he should because she’s unstable. It scares me because she seems so totally normal, like this is the biggest shock of my life learning her true behavior. And someone like that is totally unpredictable. He knows he needs to but is trying to mentally prepare, and I’m trying to not push him too hard because this has been a lot DELETED COMMENT. OP: Looking back I do realize/see the signs of him being uncomfortable. There were a few times he seemed awkward or looked at me kind of weirdly, but I always assumed it was because of the PDA happening right in front of me and that he was embarrassed   u/DaddysPrincess26: First of All, What she did, is called RAPE. Not Assault. Second, He needs to get a Restraining Order, ASAP, Third, He needs to Peruse this Legally and HARD because she is a danger to all Men, PERIOD. OP: Yes I know that’s what it’s called and what happened. I myself was R in high school and I don’t like using the word, it’s very triggering to me. He’s still considering taking legal action but I can’t force him to **Reminder - I am not OP.** submitted by /u/Sebastianlim to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I (19F) am in my first year of college and live in a small dorm room on campus. My sister (26F) had a baby a few months ago, and she’s been struggling financially. She and the baby’s father broke up, and she had to move back in with our parents. The problem is, she hates living there because our parents are “too controlling” and “judgmental” about her being a single mom. She asked if I could request permission for her to stay in my dorm with her baby for a while because it would be “quieter” and give her “space to figure things out.” I told her no. My dorm is tiny, barely big enough for me, and I have a roommate. Plus, a baby crying all night in a shared dorm? That’s not fair to my roommate or me. She got upset and said I was being selfish, that family should help each other, and that she’d do it for me if roles were reversed. Now my parents are also pressuring me to "just let her stay for a little while" because she’s struggling. My roommate thinks the whole situation is crazy and that I shouldn’t feel bad, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m being a bad sister. AITA? Edit: I spoke to the dorm incharge and was told it wouldn't be allowed at all. I informed my parents and sister about it but my sister is still upset and says i should have been more "open to the idea" and that I shouldn't have denied her for "my selfish reasons" before asking for permission. submitted by /u/Material_Star8510 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is [deleted] My [21 F] roommate and best friend [20 F] threw out my abortion pill and has generally gone insane. I have no idea what to do. TRIGGER WARNING: abusive behavior, abortion, possible mental health crisis, destruction of property Original Post May 6, 2014 My best friend Sarah and I have been (had been?) friends since she was a freshman and I was a sophomore at our college (about 2 years since I met her). We were assigned to be roommates and got along great and decided to room together for the next year (my junior year). We never had any problems before this and were inseparable. We are even in the same sorority and have the same major (nursing). A few weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant by my boyfriend Harold [22 M] (we've been dating 1.5 years and he's a wonderful man). We both discussed what to do and decided that abortion was the best choice for both of us. I decided to have a medical abortion and since Harold couldn't drive me to the clinic because he had a final, Sarah agreed to go with me. Sarah was originally very supportive and held my hand as I took the first pill in the office. She was in the room when the doctor explained that I should take the second pill after 24 hours and that I would have to do it at home. Harold came over after his final and kept me company and spent the night. After a night of cramping and bleeding, I woke up yesterday morning to find that the second pill was missing from it's pack. I put the pill on my nightstand so that I wouldn't lose it. The pack was still there, but the pill was missing. Sarah is the only one with access to my room (we have separate rooms but share everything else). I asked Harold if he had messed with the pill, and he said no. Why would he, if he doesn't want this child any more than I do? So that left Sarah as a suspect, so I waited until she woke up to ask her about it. That's when she flipped her shit. She started screaming at me how I was a baby killer and that she hopes I bleed out from the abortion. Then she told me that she had a dream that my child would grow up to cure Ebola (I could not make this up) and that she threw away my pill to protect my child, as well as the extra birth control packs I had gotten from the school nurse to last over the summer. She took photos and uploaded them to Facebook with the caption "OP is a baby killing whore who can't keep her legs shut!" Luckily, all of her friends and our sorority sisters instantly defended me and told her how crazy she was. Reddit, I'm stuck in the same room as her for all of our summer classes, which will last until July. We are in the same sorority and will have to see each other twice a week until I graduate. Is there anything I can do legally? Is what she posted online illegal (she is a nursing major in clinicals)? I'm so fucking confused. tl;dr: Went for a medical abortion, roommate flipped her shit and threw away my medication. We have to live together for the better part of the summer. Edit: I'm cross posting this to /r/twoxchromosomes. I've already gotten another pill Second Edit: Sorority just texted me. The last meeting of the year will be concerning Sarah's violation of the sorority code of conduct. Apparently this is not the first time this has happened. Majority vote decides on whether she's kicked out or not. *Edit Three: I tried to update in another post, but the mods say I have to wait 48 hours as per the new rule. So you all will have to wait :) * RELEVANT COMMENTS OOP replying to a deleted comment OOP I've sent them emails already about it, but because it's summer only one dorm building is open. Even if I switch rooms, I'll still run into her. It's a crappy situation. We are both nursing students, and I know this is a violation of my medical privacy. I've thought about reporting her to the nursing board at our college so that she might be kicked out of the program (we all had to sign ethics pledges that directly involved this). My sorority sisters are firmly on my side about this. They know I've been with Harold for a year and that I don't sleep around (Sarah is the one whose reputation reflects badly on the sorority and it's been brought up before). The cramps are actually almost non existent at the moment, but I'm not sure if that's because I missed the second pill or not [deleted] "I've thought about reporting her to the nursing board at our college" Don't think about it - do it. What if you were her patient? OOP I'd probably punch her in the face if I were her patient. The only reason why I'm hesitant to report it to the nursing board is because I'm also a nursing student and there might be a huge backlash. Her actions have proven that she is incapable of keeping medical information private and that she is unfit to be a nurse, so I might send it to the state board so that when she applies for her license she will be denied. Update May 8, 2014 A lot of people asked me to update what happened, so here it is. The mods originally removed this update due to the 48 hour update rule, but enough people asked for me to post this that I will, and then I can finally delete this account. This is a direct copy/paste from the removed update and none of the major details have changed so far. Still no word from Sarah about this. Edit: A lot of you think that I was too extreme, but there was nothing I could have done to make her get help. I miss my best friend more than any of you critics could ever realize. Don't judge me for doing what was best for everyone involved, including myself. Her right to sympathy ended when she deliberately chose to steal from me, slander my name, destroy my laptop and possessions, and when she refused help from everyone who tried to help. Original I will try to make this as clear as possible, even though I'm typing it during a work break. Immediately after I posted on Reddit, a lot of you had the same advice to report her to the nursing board, residence life, the nursing department at our college, to the police, to the sorority, and to her parents. I decided to report her to all of the above while hiding at the sorority house. Early yesterday morning was when Sarah made her Facebook post about me, and it took only until after lunch for my sorority sisters to start texting me like mad. This was not the first time that Sarah had shamed another sorority sister for having an abortion, and that particular woman (we will call her Emily) was one of the highest ranking members. Emily was the one who called the meeting to have Sarah kicked out for breach of the code of conduct (treat all your sisters kindly, support one another, no gossiping, etc). Meanwhile, Residence Life was busy trying to contact Sarah's parents after I showed them her facebook rants. After the sorority contacted Sarah, she flipped out yet again on Facebook and started to rant about how she wanted to die. The RA on duty (also one of my good friends) had decided to go speak to her to see if they could help. At this point, it was clear to everyone that Sarah was not right in the head, because she was screaming at her through the door crack. Sarah refused to answer the door, so the RA decided to escalate it higher and no one saw Sarah until the sorority meeting. The Sorority Meeting At the meeting, everything seemed to be okay. Sarah was the last person to arrive and she just took her seat and acted normal. It was eerie to see her gush over everyone only hours after she pulled her stunt. Only about half of the sorority was present, but the president decided to proceed regardless. It only took two minutes for us to vote unanimously to kick her out. Emily sat next to me the whole time. To put it mildly, Sarah did not take this well. She turned bright red, spit on the ground in front of Emily and me, and ran out of the room screaming. We called campus police on her as she left. After the Meeting Sarah returned to our dorm room. The Res Life Administrator tried to speak to her, but she refused to answer the door for over 20 minutes. They had to call the police to kick down the door because she was holding the handle on the inside so they couldn't unlock the door. The police showed up, kicked down the door, and found the dorm destroyed. All the furniture had been smashed (or scratched if it was too heavy), the carpets were covered in food from the refrigerator, and she had painted random swear words on the wall in what looks like blood (but she had no scratches on her, so who knows where the blood came from). The found photos of Harold covered in lipstick in her purse (this wasn't like a kiss mark from lipstick, but more like she used a lipstick to entirely cover Harold's face like a crayon). She resisted the police trying to peacefully convince her to accompany them to the hospital. Sarah was taken to the hospital and charged (I'm not sure what the exact charges were, but I am aware that it includes unlawful posession of prescription medication because they found my pills in her purse and they had my name on the labels). She is still in the hospital today undergoing a psych evaluation. The Hospital Sarah and I were both interns working for the hospital that operates the pregnancy clinic. I reported her to HR for theft, harassment, and privacy violations along with giving them screenshots from Facebook. As of this morning, Sarah did not turn up for work so she was terminated for no call no show. HR had me in their office for an hour this morning asking if I would like to press for a HIPAA investigation (It turns out that some of her facebook rants had information that could only be obtained through patient records. I have no idea what information it was since it was the HR lady who found it). I said yes, because there's no way it would hurt for Sarah to be investigated. HR also notified the Nursing Board and the Nursing Department at my college independently of my reports. So I think that's pretty much everything. Sarah has been arrested and charged, kicked from the sorority, fired from her job, kicked out of the dorms, and numerous reports were made to the proper authorities. I still care for Sarah with all of my heart, because I realize that she is severely mentally ill. I will always blame her for what she did to me, but I know that it wasn't the best friend that I knew for all those years. It was a different person who did that to me. I am feeling physically fine after all of this. Harold and I are talking about getting an apartment off campus together. If that doesn't work out, I will stay in the sorority house. Sarah's parents have promised to pay me back for the abortion costs ($400) because they know I didn't do anything wrong. I'm grateful that I have their support. TL;DR: Sarah has been arrested, everything turned out okay. You should probably read the whole thing for details. RELEVANT COMMENTS possibly_a_coyote I hope she gets the help she needs to return to a normal life. OOP Me too. I hope one day she and I can be friends again, but it can only happen if she gets help. It's so uncharacteristic from the girl I used to know possibly_a_coyote Sometimes, people just go crazy. Some friends of mine in college had a roommate who was the nicest, sweetest girl you could imagine, and then one day they woke up to her going crazy in the kitchen, putting butter and syrup in her hair like she was a pancake. Her parents picked her up and we never heard from her again. ~ intended_result This is just sad all around. OOP I agree, now that I've had time to reflect. I did what I had to do, but Sarah is on a long road to recovery and that's the only thing I could hope for. ~ [deleted] I have a son who descended into mental illness at around the same age. What you did for your friend was really what she needed. Now she can get the help she needs before she is too deep into the mental illness. From mom's of adult children with mental illness, I thank you! You are going to be an awesome nurse. If you have the backbone to do this, you will have the backbone needed to fight for your patients and that is such a good quality for a nurse, from a patient's point of view anyway. You are an incredibly strong woman. I am so sorry this all happened to you when you were going through such a difficult and stressful time yourself. I am proud of you so I am sure your parents will be proud of you. I think your roommates parents will be thankful to you as well. Good luck to you! OOP Thanks for this! Her parents are actually glad that she was arrested, because she wouldn't have gone to the hospital any other way (we tried to convince her to go and she wouldn't budge). I hope I keep my backbone through this, but even though it's hard I still care so much about her and I will be checking on her through her parents on a regular basis. ~ Toasterferret On behalf of nurses everywhere, thank you for reporting her. Someone like that would have ended up hurting or killing a patient sooner or later. Best of luck with your finals! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Happy 1️⃣8️⃣th Birthday to my sweet baby boy: Dwight Howard Schrute Around 12 years ago, I lost my first cat (Gaylord, RIP) and a few weeks after he crossed the rainbow bridge, I felt sad and decided to go to my local rescue to hang out with some kitties and cuddle with them to feel better. Little did I know that my soul animal was there waiting for me. I was wandering around the cat area of the shelter, holding an orange kitty who I honestly considered taking home with me. But then I decided to ask the shelter volunteer “What cats have been here the longest?” And she told me “Oh, this guy, his name is Micky. He’s 6.” And pointed to (who would become) Dwight. Dwight was in his cage, with his four paws stuffed into a shoebox, his body / fur spilling over the sides, and his head pulled into his shoulders. He was staring at me, absolutely terrified, with two big eyes looking at me like ⚫️🔺⚫️ I immediately fell in love and adopted him. So here we are, 12 years later. We’ve been through my final year of high school together, all of college, sneaking into my dorm room, at least 7 apartments, several heartbreaks, periods of deep depressions, periods of absolute bliss and joy, career changes, a world pandemic, getting my first dog… you get the idea. And every single one of those years, every single night, he’s been by my side, curled up in my arms as my little spoon, snoring and drooling on my arm. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. :) So happy birthday to my little old man, my furry king, my sweet baby angel. Here’s to 18 years bubba. r/DwightTheSadCat submitted by /u/princessohio to r/standardissuecat [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwawayforcocoa I discovered that my parents [50s] have been lying to me [19 F] about my food allergies (and who knows what else) for my entire life. Am I justified if I cut them out of my life? TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide attempt, gaslighting, emotional abuse, mental health issues Original Post - rareddit Aug 13, 2015 I'm using a throwaway account because I have family on Reddit. Ever since I was a little girl, my parents have told me that I am allergic to both milk and chocolate. The story goes that I broke into severe hives on my very first Halloween. My mom had given me some milk chocolate and I had to be rushed to the hospital with hives and breathing problems where I was diagnosed with both chocolate and milk allergies. Ever since then, I have never been allowed to eat anything containing chocolate or cow's milk. Over the summer, one of my college friends from out-of-state invited me to come stay with her for a few weeks. While I was in her state, I decided to use the opportunity to visit my Godmother/Aunt who I haven't been able to see since I was a young child. My aunt was thrilled to see me and we spent a whole day hiking and just catching up. When we stopped for lunch, my Aunt pulled out some granola bars, but they had chocolate in them so I couldn't eat them. I told her that I was allergic to chocolate and she was stunned. My aunt told me that I have never been allergic to chocolate and that my mom was lying to me. She told me the story of how I had gotten ill from daycare and my mom had tried to sue the daycare owner for some stupid reason that no one was sure of. My mom was pissed off because she though the daycare owner was flirting with my dad and she wanted to get the daycare shut down. My mom then invented the story about me and the chocolate at the Halloween party. She made sure NOT to tell the daycare about the (fake) allergy and then waited for the daycare to feed me food with chocolate in it so that she could sue. When that didn't work, my mom then invented a story about me being allergic to milk. When aunt tried to call her out on it, my mom stopped speaking to her and that silence has continued until the present. Needless to say, I was stunned. I wanted so badly to believe that my mom was telling the truth and that my aunt was lying. I waited until we got back to my aunt's house and I took a bite of one of the granola bars. And I was not allergic, AT ALL. I was very upset and decided to call my dad. Our conversation was so crazy and out of nowhere that I don't know what else to do but type it out. The conversation went like this: Me: "Dad, were you aware that I am not actually allergic to chocolate and milk like you and mom have told me?" Dad: "Don't be ridiculous. You've never been able to eat chocolate without a reaction. Why would we make that up?" Me: "I'm not trying to accuse you of making it up. I was just asking if you were aware that I do not have the allergy. I just ate some chocolate and I didn't have any reaction to it. Did I ever get any allergy tests done?" Dad: "I will have to ask your mother. I am upset that you are trying to call us liars over this." Me: "When did I say anyone was lying? What are you talking about?" My mom then jumped into the conversation (speaker phone). Mom: "Honey, don't you remember that you had hives at your 10th birthday party? Your friend had given you a tootsie pop and you were allergic to the chocolate." Me: "Mom, I never had a 10th birthday party and I don't know what you're talking about. I was just curious if I ever had a real allergy test done for chocolate, because I was just able to eat some without a reaction. I'm just trying to figure out if I can eat chocolate or not now." Mom: "I don't know why you need to know if you had a test or not. You can't eat chocolate because we SAY you can't eat chocolate. You're being a little liar right now, how DARE you say we never gave you a birthday party that year. You've always been ungrateful and now you can't even remember the party we gave you." Me: "Mom, I KNOW I never had a 10th birthday party because I was at summer camp. Why are you trying to make me believe that I did?" My mom then started screaming at me and I just hung up the phone because it was so loud and I couldn't hear any individual words. I silenced my phone and watched as she proceeded to call me 40 times in a row. The entire time my aunt was watching in horror. My aunt then gave me a hug and told me that this is why she doesn't have a relationship with my mother. My mom has always done this, lied to people and then tried to convince them it was the truth. I am very upset about this entire situation. The conversation was simply one of the craziest things I've seen and I don't know who these people are anymore. It creeped me out and I don't think I ever want to talk to them again or else they will try to turn on me. Am I right in wanting to cut these people out of my life? tl;dr: Mom and dad always told me I was allergic to chocolate. I went to visit estranged aunt in a different state and aunt revealed my mom made it up to try to sue a daycare. I ate the food I was supposedly allergic to and was fine. I called my parents and they tried to say I was calling them liars and then tried to make up a birthday party. It was crazy and I think they're crazy and I just need to know if it's okay to cut them out of my life. RELEVANT COMMENTS flowers4u I'm just amazed you haven't figured it out sooner. I am allergic to various nuts, and is say about once a year I accidentally eat one. But when i was younger my parents kept me away from eating all nuts to be safe. OOP They had chocolate and milk banned from the house and always told my teachers and such about my 'allergies' at the beginning of each school year. I also had to keep an epi-pen in my car starting after I got my license 'just in case' something bad happened. I didn't have any reason to doubt them until a few months ago when it all came crashing down. OOP adds about her parents My mom and dad are two peas in a pod and they are best friends. If she's a narcissist, then I'm 100% positive he is one too. I can't afford an allergy test, but at least I know I'm not going to die from chocolate anymore. I don't think I'll be able to pretend that I forgot about the party because it was so hurtful that she tried to lie to me about it. I don't ever want to speak to her again. She doesn't even remember my birthdays and she's my mom. I'll check out the subreddit. Thanks! Update - rareddit Nov 17, 2015 It's been a while, but I felt the need to update because my mom purchased a one way ticket to Crazy Town after I made my first post. To summarize what I have found out since my last post: I am NOT allergic to chocolate. Chocolate is amazing and I am now addicted to the chocolate waterfall at Golden Corral. I am NOT allergic to milk. I am mildly lactose intolerant, but I was always told it was an allergy to a protein in the milk. I can drink Lactaid with no issues. I had an allergy test done and it confirmed that I am not allergic to anything except for pollen and some animal dander. My mother is a psycho. After I made my original post, I decided that I was going to cut contact with my parents except through email. My mom called me over a THOUSAND times the first week and I eventually had to get a new phone and simply stopped answering the old phone and let the battery in it die. To put this in perspective, she used to call me 2-3 times a week and this sudden increase was pure insanity. Since my mom knew where my dorm room was located on campus, I requested to be moved into one of the more private dorm buildings because I was concerned for my privacy. I didn't tell anyone except my college friends about the move and I had thought that everything would be fine. Everything was fine for a few weeks, until I got a call from one of the adjunct professors to help tutor one of the new students. My school has a master tutor list and any student can call the tutors and arrange for help for free (us tutors are paid by the school). I told the adjunct that I would meet the student in the library in a few and grabbed my books and walked over to the library. Lo and behold, the new student was my mom! My mother decided that she would enroll in classes as a student in order to contact me. When I saw her, I froze and immediately tried to leave the library, but she followed me outside and wouldn't leave me alone. I eventually managed to duck into one of the fraternity apartments and was able to lose her, but she has been basically stalking me on campus ever since. I tried to report her to the school, but the campus police told me that since she never made any threats, that there's nothing I can do. I tried reporting her to the normal police as well, but was told the same thing. My mom has not left me any voicemails or texts or anything at all that I can use to prove what she's doing. My RA has ensured that my mom is banned from my dorm building (only upperclassmen are allowed and my mom is technically a freshman), but beyond that I am running out of options. My mom posted on facebook that she is signing up for the same classes as I need to complete my major next semester (she posted her schedule and we are in one of the same classes!) and I don't know what else I can do to stop the crazy. She claims that she didn't do ANYTHING to hurt me and that I am just lying about the chocolate and milk allergies. My aunt had to go out of the country for work and I feel so alone with dealing with all of this. My dad has basically ditched and moved out of my mom's house and I haven't been able to get in contact with him either. Any ideas for how to stop the crazy? tl;dr: My mom lied to me for years and told me I had several food allergies. I caught her in the lie and cut off contact. She has now enrolled in the same classes I need to complete my degree and I don't know what I can do to stop her from stalking me. RELEVANT COMMENTS OOP replying to a downvoting comment saying to be a mean girl and take charge OOP I don't think she's physically or financially dangerous, the only way she can hurt me is mentally and emotionally. I've been able to play it off to my friends so far because she is living and breathing the stereotype of the crazy Asian mother. If I can get this meeting arranged, I'm going in drinking a carton of chocolate milk. I'm not worried about her because she's always been this crazy. This is just the first time that her anger has been directed at ME. How did the mom find OOP's schedule She found out from the degree catalog they publish each year (the one that lists all the classes you need to graduate). She signed up for one of the 200 level classes I had left and it doesn't need any pre-reqs at all. She's atually really smart and she somehow managed to test out of a lot of the core classes (she'll be taking Calc 2 next semester). When told to contact the dept head or professor and have her mom removed I'm typing up an email to the department chair now and I'm waiting for a call back from the student affairs office. I've still got the phone, but the police wouldn't even look at it when I tried to tell them about her stalking me. It's an iphone so it saves ALL the records of when she tried to call me. My NMom is in the hospital right now because she became suicidal after a meeting with me and our university. I feel so guilty. (r/raisedbynarcissists) Nov 25, 2015 Hi there. It's my first time posting here because I was hesitant to give my mom the 'narcissist' label. That being said, I don't really have a better term to describe her behavior and a ton of people pointed me to this subreddit after I posted on /r/relationships about my mom. To summarize, my mom and dad lied to me and told me I had allergies (chocolate and milk). I believed them for years until I met my estranged Aunt and she spilled the beans and revealed the web of lies created by my mother. I decided to go No Contact with my parents and my mom snapped and enrolled at my university and was basically stalking me and enrolling in the same classes I need for next semester. I contacted the student affairs department and they arranged a meeting between myself and my mom regarding the stalking. At the meeting, the administrator heard both sides of our stories and pretty much caught my mom in another lie. My mom had her best poker face on and tried to claim that she hadn't contacted me in months. She denied that she had called me repeatedly, denied that she ever tried to get tutoring from me, denied everything she did. She tried to act like she was the victim and that I was just a mean and disrespectful daughter who hated her mom. And that's when I produced my iPhone and showed the administrator the call log from when my mom called me over 1000 times in a row (this is not an exaggeration, the call log hit quadruple digits). My mom then tried to deny that the number was her cell number, but the administrator looked it up in the student database and it proved she was lying. My mom tried to backtrack, but the damage was done. The administrator made us both sign contracts that said that we each must not contact each other for the remainder of the school year, otherwise we would be suspended from classes. My mom was forced to change her schedule so that she would not be in the same classes as I was in. The administrator made it clear that if she tried to circumvent the contract (even if by accident), that she could have her student ID banned from entering the student center or other buildings if I was inside (they are controlled by RFID chips and we have to swipe them to enter certain buildings). After the meeting ended, I was so happy and I felt free for the first time in weeks. A few nights later, my dad called me and left a voicemail informing me that my mom tried to commit suicide with sleeping pills and that she was going to the hospital. I thought it was fake at first, so I called the hospital and they put me through to my dad who was in the waiting room. My dad laid into me pretty hard and called me names and stuff about the whole situation and then told me that if I didn't want my mom to die, I shouldn't have made her life miserable. So that's my Thanksgiving vacation and I don't really know what to think or do right now. I'm going to go bake a pumpkin pie and try to forget about it all, but food tastes like ash in my mouth. RELEVANT COMMENTS se1ze Honey, it's not your fault. Not even a little. She is a very sick person. This suicide attempt is the inevitable conclusion of a long struggle with serious mental illness. Also, while we take all threats of suicide seriously on this sub...her failure to kill herself is notable. It is not hard to kill yourself. Even pop culture offers a few methods which are surefire, and a quick Google search will quickly turn up a dozen more. The fact that she didn't look for this information, and didn't complete her suicide, suggests that this was more of an attempt to manipulate than an attempt to leave the planet. I qualify this quickly with a link to suicide hotlines should anyone be reading this who is considering suicide genuinely. It's a nasty topic to be sure, but it needed to be said. She isn't dead, and that's significant. OOP Thanks for saying this. My mom is incredibly intelligent and resourceful and I know that if she really wanted to die, she would have been successful. She can recite stats off the top of her head and I've heard her saying before that most successful suicides involve guns. I know for a fact that she knows what it takes for suicide and she's smart enough to find a way to hurt herself without leaving lasting damage. She also made sure to put me down on her list of approved visitors and sign all the paperwork so that the nurses can tell me information without violating HIPPA. She knows that I'm the type of person who would have called the hospital and then I would know all the details and she could guilt me with them. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Educational-Army-915. She posted in r/self and r/RVLiving Thanks to u/BakingGiraffeBakes for the rec! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Trigger Warning: child abuse Mood Spoiler: tentatively hopeful Original Post: September 10, 2024 My parents decided when I was only around seven years old, far to young to get an opinion on anything to pack us up and move into an rv to travel around the us. My dad works online and my mom makes content online, she’s not huge by any means but big enough that we get recognized sometimes and big enough that i’ve had a camera shoved in my face for as long as I can remember. For my privacy’s sake I won’t say anything else on that and i’m using a throwaway account because i’ve gotten enough attention already and i’m sick of it. I sleep in a tiny bunk bed that I outgrew years ago and the other bunk is the only space I have to put anything I own. I don’t even have a room just a curtain and thank god i’m an only child or else I would have to share the small space I have already. I was homeschooled for most of my education and then switched to online school at my own insistence for high school. I’m an 18 year old girl, I don’t have a single friend in person because the longest i’ve ever stayed anywhere is a month. I don’t have a job and no way to get one because of not being stationary unless I find one online which also mean I have no way to move out and get away from them. I’ve had conversations with them about all of this countless times and they are so delusional and genuinely believe that “a nomadic existence is the best way to live” so why would I never need anything else. I hate them for treating me like some pet they can just drag along in their plans rather than their child. I hate traveling, I don’t like heat, I hate dealing with bugs, and i’m so sick of hiking. I can’t wait for the day that I finally figure out a way to get away from them with their mornings hikes and cameras in my face. I’ve traveled around the us yeah but god forbid I want to have a normal life, go the college or maybe even makes some friends? That’s asking to much. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: I can't even imagine how lonely that must be. Do you have any way other family you could go stay with? OOP: Not that I know of unfortunately. Currently my plan is to try to figure out some making sort of income online and save up so I can get an apartment and i’m talking with someone i’ve known online for a long time about maybe being roommates to help with costs for both of us Commenter: Going to college is perhaps the easiest way out, but maybe not the cheapest. However, certainly a good step forward, for multiple reasons. OOP: I’m definitely looking into it but i’m worried about it because with the way I was homeschooled I was very behind academically and struggled a lot in high school. I was just happy I was able to do an actual online high school program rather than homeschooling Commenter: Ironically, if you were to start creating content about getting away from your hipster parents you'd probably gain a lot of attention... OOP: Honestly I’ve considered it just for the purpose of spreading awareness but it didn’t seem smart to me for a few reasons. firstly it didn’t seem like a long term solution, I don’t think the content would be all that interesting once my story is told there isn’t any other real content there. there is only so many time you can talk about the same thing without it getting repetitive and boring people. Plus I would have to be in a stable position enough to feel comfortable talking about it and have an out just in case things went sideways. but more importantly i’ve already had my life plastered onto the internet from such a young age I don’t think it’s worth giving up the one aspect of my life that hasn’t been published publicly. Top Comment: gumbyrocks: 1800runaway provides a list of programs that will provide housing and supportive services. We help people like you every day. Update Post: September 19, 2024 (9 days later) Hello, barely over a week ago I made a post talking about my very negative experience living in an RV with my parents for around 10 years now. Despite it being such a short time since i’ve posted it a lot has changed for me since then. I don’t know how many people here would be interested in an update on my situation but I know quite a few people were very concerned and would probably appreciate an update so here it is. Also fair warning this is a fairly lengthy post, I have a tendency to ramble so there is sort of a tldr at the end. I had a lot of people give me really helpful advice, resources, as well as even offers to try to help personally, some being questionable admittedly but a majority being genuinely concerned wanting to try to help and I very much appreciate that. It was slightly overwhelming to be honest and I ended up not responding to a lot of people so you’ll all have to forgive me for that, but even if I didn’t respond much I have been doing research on a lot of the information people gave me. Something that stood out to me was people asking if I had any family I could stay with to which I had to respond “not that I know of” because I dont have anyone on my dads side of the family and my mom strictly no contact with her family. I did not know if they were alive, if they cut her off, if she cut them off, or even any details about them and my mom had never wanted to talk about it. What information I did have was my mom’s maiden name which is pretty uncommon and where she was born, which in terms of trying to find family can actually get you surprisingly far i’ve come to realize. I’ve always had a slight hatred for the internet because I never had any choice in my life being public knowledge and I know that once something is out there it’s out there, but for the first time i’m actually really grateful for the internet. I was able to find some information on my mother’s side of the family and specifically was able to find my grandma’s facebook account though it did take me some effort. After a lot of stressing on how to approach messaging her, if I even should, as well as potential outcomes I messaged her explaining my mom’s life, who I was, and my situation. I won’t go into details onto why my grandma and my mom are no contact because that is not my story to share but my grandma was appalled that she has a granddaughter she didn’t even know about and even more so the way in which her daughter raised me. I found out I have an aunt and an uncle, both of which my grandma told them about me and my situation. Ive been in pretty much constant contact with all of them since just learning about each other, all of them want to help me get out of this living situation with my parents and luckily with me being 18 now it’s actually possible. Again I don’t feel entirely comfortable going into details but I have arrangements to go stay with my aunt who lives in a big city on the west coast that had a lot of potential opportunities for me to start college or whatever I see fit(Which I do plan on figuring out college happy to announce!!). My uncle has kids but my aunt lives on her own and has a spare bedroom which she has no problem letting me stay in for as long as necessary. I have a train ticket scheduled and purchased by my aunt and enough money to get to the station. I’m talking with my family(Still feels weird to type) currently and trying to plan out the details like how or if i’m going to tell my parents. My mom doesn’t know any information on where any of her family lives so even if I were to tell my parents who i’m going to live with they wouldn’t know where I was specifically. Someone pointed out that if I did leave without telling them I should leave a note or some form of proof that I left willingly so if I do opt out of a conversation i’m planning on either leaving a note or filming a video explaining my plans and why i’m leaving which would be kinda of ironic wouldn’t it. Regarding my mom filming i’ve been very quiet around my parents and just refusing to talk when the camera is on but neither one of them has mentioned it yet so far luckily. Also speaking of my mom’s content I would like to very much emphasize something quickly. Almost everyone was genuinely trying to help but I had a few people replying trying to guess who I was(Luckily the few I saw were basically torn to shreds and ended up deleting their comments). I also had a few people who messaged me privately trying to make a guess at who I am which at least that’s not’s public I guess. Although I can understand being curious, I posted anonymously with very little personal information for a reason. As I stated in my previous post I have gotten enough attention and i’m very much sick of it, I would very much appreciate it if you guys can respect that. Even if you think you might know who I am please please please don’t make public guesses and understand that I don’t want this to be even more public information tied to my name. Very long story short, I have set plans to leave as well as a safe place to go with my aunt once I do and very much appreciate so people for being so willing to help. If you had told me not even two weeks ago that not only would do I have a plan to move away from my parents but contact with family members I didn’t even know existed I don’t think I would have believed it. I’m currently not planning on making another post updating this but wanted to let anyone who was concerned about me to not worry, genuinely thank you. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Be careful. You don’t really know your mom’s family. I know it seems like an out. Just be careful. OOP: I absolutely will be, why my mom isn’t in contact with them makes total sense and none of it was their fault plus they were able to send me evidence of that. but despite that I definitely don’t know them personally yet, my train out isn’t scheduled immediately or anything and i’m going to continue talking with them until then but they do seem to be genuinely concerned and trustworthy. Plus my aunt who I’ll be staying with seem super nice and we have already figured out that we have certain things in common. To the same commenter a bit later: OOP: Oh I forgot to mention earlier, as I said in the post i’m planning on going to college(because that’s a more obtainable option for me now!! ah!!!) and i’m hoping to figure out living in dorms so realistically I won’t be staying with my aunt for that long once I work that out. Commenter: You can't really know they're being truthful. You should ask your mother why she's stopped communicating with them without telling her you started and get her side of the story. OOP: My mom like 100% refuses to talk about her family, that’s the reason I didn’t have any contact with them in the first place and didn’t even know about my aunt and uncle. but i’m confident they are being truthful about it because I was literally shown proof and some of it was literally court ordered. Commenter: I do not recommend making a video, your parents will use it for content. Write a note at most, keep it simple though OOP: I realistically don’t plan on filming a video I think I was just feeling petty and upset thinking about it all which just lead to thinking about drastic ideas of what I should do for telling my parents. Video definitely isn’t a good idea if I don’t just tell them myself To a downvoted commenter: OOP: Question have you ever seen the harry potter movie scene where his “room” is the under the stairs and thought to yourself “wow he actually has enough room to sit up in bed and a door”? I have multiple times actually. I’m very willing to “abandon” them to not have to feel like that anymore. Commenter: Haha great analogy. Listen, could you do me a favor, please? Whatever the name of the town you're going to, call the local police or Sheriff station on a non-emergency number, ask for the community liaison officer, and then briefly introduce yourself. Explain that you are 18, leaving a family situation which is not healthy and going to stay with a relative you have not previously met. Give the officer your contact info and tell him or her that you just want somebody that you trust to know where you are and to please give you a wellness check in a couple of weeks and that you will stop in and let them know how you are a couple of weeks following that. Agree on two innocent code words for your wellness/ future conversations: One which, when dropped into conversation means something is wrong please get me out of here, and the other which means everything is just fine at present. Does this sound comfortable for you? OOP: That’s a really good idea actually thank you!! Editor's Note: OOP indicated that she doesn't plan to update again, but I'm leaving this as ongoing because I hope she at least comments that she's safe. Editor's Note 2: OOP updated in November 2024! BORU here submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

AITAH for being sick of my “stepsister” and refusing to room with her? I (18F) am over my stepsister Molly (18MTF). In fact, I’ll just say it flat out: I do not like her. Our parents have been together for 6 years and Molly has had extreme mental health issues since we were 12; the issues with her mental health got so severe during our teen years that I had to move across state lines because she was out of control. It was anorexia, coming out as trans, then BPD, Autism, ODD, stealing, constant lying, inpatient, and worse and her mother TRIED but there’s not much you can do when you have an extremely mentally ill child and I feel terrible for the woman. My dad is planning on divorcing his mom but he wants me out of the house first. I understand where he’s coming from, my stepmom is very much in love with him and dos not want to lose him so he wants me out of the house so I don’t have to see the fighting. He’s recognised just how badly the Molly situation affected me and he has apologized numerous times for letting it get to the point that it did. I was put in charge of “babysitting” her, forced to include her with a smile on my face, and made to tolerate all sorts of treatment that wasn’t at all right and he has called it what it is (abuse) and admitted that he failed me. Here’s my AITAH: I committed to college not long ago and my stepmom had Molly commit to the same school as well. This isn’t weird because we’re going to a major school in our state (Think Arizona or Arizona State). I want to break free in college and live with my friends, I want to rush a sorority and go out to party, I want to do things and have fun, and I want to feel free and social again. I do not want to have anything to do with Molly or her mom or their bullshit and this is my chance to break free of it all and finally go back to the life I had when I was with my grandparents. I have a full ride (school was my way out and my grades were the only thing I felt I could control) but that full ride does not include dorming . My dad thinks things would be easier if I agreed to room with Molly, signed up to room with her, he filed for divorce and moved out , and then I contacted housing and got a different roommate. He thinks that this would cause less blowback for me and for him as well (I recognise that he is in an abusive relationship) and he wants me to be safe from Molly’s outbursts of emotion. We had a discussion about this over dinner last night because I’m set to choose my housing soon and I finally told him how it is. I dealt with Molly when she was Matt and was TERRIFIED, I’ve dealt with my stepmom for years, and I’m over it. If I’d known that life would have been like this after my mom died then I would have asked to go with her too. I have been more than kind to Molly, I’ve dealt with living in a household with no sharps and no shoelaces, I’ve been treated like I’m a suicidal liar when I try to be good and honest and support staff when I prove myself dependable, and my feelings have been pushed to the side while Molly has been coddled and appeased for half of a fucking decade. I basically told him that his idea could get fucked, that he needed to file sooner rather than later, and I stopped pretending that I wasn’t mad and told him that I was pissed that he put me through hell because he was too afraid to leave. I feel like I’m TAH because he broke down crying and kept saying that he was sorry but we have been living in a prison for years and I don’t want to keep putting my life on hold to appease my stepmom and my comfort shouldn’t be put off because someone else is suicidal (one of the reasons why my stepmom wants me to room with Molly is to keep an eye on her and help her) and because Molly struggles with making friends. My dad says I’m an asshole for not making a safety plan with him so that we can both get out safe and fast, my grandpa (his dad) say he’s a spineless loser who needs to stand up to his soon to be ex, and I’m just so tired of this saga. So AITAH? submitted by /u/idmoveheavenandhell to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/throwawayteen_06. She posted in r/AskDocs, r/UnsentLetters and r/LifeAdvice Thanks to u/chromaticluxury for finding this and recommending it. I have OOP's permission to share her posts. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Please read trigger warnings as this is a dark post. Trigger Warnings: child abuse; child neglect; giving a child medication they do not need; eating disorder; illness from eating disorder; appendix removal Mood Spoiler: incredibly sad, but OOP is getting help Original Post: June 14, 2024 18F 5’7 98lbs This is a throwaway account because I don’t want anyone to know… I guess I should include a TW for my crappy childhood and stuff. This is really long. I’m sorry. I turned 18 4 days ago. I’m leaving to go to college out of state in Minnesota in like a month but I’m in alabama right now. I moved out and I’m living with my friend and her parents for right now because my parents are getting divorced and it’s ugly, so I’m safe in my environment. I have an appointment with my pediatrician I’ve had since birth before I go to college for a physical…and I’ve been debating if I want to admit some things to her or not now that I’m an adult. Two things, actually. Or three I guess. And I have questions about what’s going to happen if I do. I’m really anxious and I’m starting to tear up even thinking about it. Basically my doctor thinks I’m just naturally underweight and that I’m happy and healthy and stuff, but I’ve been intentionally keeping my weight low since I was about 10. My mom was worried when I hit puberty that I would get overweight like her and that I was eating too much junk and so she taught me to count calories. For years she would make me wear a rubber band on my wrist and snap it on the inside of my arm anytime I wanted to eat to try and teach me to not want to eat basically. She taped pictures of fat people on snack boxes and would make me weigh myself every morning to decide how many calories I could have. She’s even tried to get me to smoke cigarettes with her before because she said it would kill my appetite. She told me I’m lucky because others girls don’t have moms who care about them and how they look, but the older I’ve gotten the more it seems like this is actually really awful of her. She’s always made me feel bad. I see videos on TikTok about almond moms and it seems like her. I’ve never had my period. Ever. I lied to my doctor and said I got it but I haven’t. I don’t know if that’s normal but I think it’s probably not by now. My mom keeps saying I’m a late bloomer. I think I might be anorexic. And I’m really, really tired. My hair is coming out and I’m so pale and my head always hurts and my heart feels heavy in my chest when I’m exercising. I get dizzy when I stand. I’m anemic, and my doctor asked if I was having heavy periods and I said yes because I didn’t know what else to say so that was a lie too and she thinks that’s why I’m anemic. Sometimes I even faint. I was supposed to take a teen vitamin but my mom said they are full of chemicals and fillers and would make me sick so I haven’t gotten one. I can’t sleep unless I smoke weed no matter how tired I am. My doctor doesn’t know I smoke either. My mom would be pissed if she knew because she said pot is for lazy people. I just want all this to stop but I don’t know how. I tried eating more but I panic if I go over 750 calories a day and there’s only like 5 foods that are safe, and I’m afraid to drink anything that isn’t clear. I’m scared and I can’t live like this. But I’m afraid of what will happen if I tell my doctor. Will she be mad at me? Will she yell at me for lying? Can I get help figuring out how to eat without being scared but not have to go in a hospital? I don’t want to lose my place at college. I worked SO hard for my scholarship. Will I have to gain weight? Will they tell my parents now that I’m 18? Can I be forced into anything? Will I get in trouble for the weed? Im just lost and scared and trying to figure this out because I don’t want to be like this anymore. TL;DR now that I’m 18 what happens if I admit to my pediatrician that I smoke weed, I’m probably anorexic, and I’ve never had a period. Thank you to anyone with advice Relevant Comments: Editor's note: OOP gets a lot of answers to her questions about confidentiality in the comments, but I only included a few of her responses. Ultimately, docs were divided on what Alabama law might require or allow as far as not telling her parents. Commenter: I can’t say for sure but talk with the office about it because they will know the laws. Medical consent in Alabama is 14 years old, which means a minor 14 and older can consent to healthcare without their parents/guardians. This doesn’t necessarily imply confidentiality, but it’s worth asking, especially at your age. OOP: Wait really? Does that mean at 14 I could’ve said I didn’t want my mom in the appointment with me? She told me it wasn’t allowed until after I was married to make her leave Commenter: What would happen if you didn't get married until you're 35. Would you be 35 with your Mom still able to control everything? You can ask her to not be there. OOP: Oh. I’m sorry. I guess that was a really stupid thing to believe. I didn’t even think about that far ahead :/ she just blew up the one time I asked her if I could go alone and I didn’t ask again In response to a longer comment: Thank you. I really did want to believe her. The last year or so I got on TikTok and Reddit and I’ve been seeing things that just make me really confused about how she treats me and that’s how I figured out that my eating wasn’t normal. She’s really nice sometimes though, she’ll braid my hair before bed and she does my chores for me when I have a lot of homework and she makes me tea when I’m not feeling good. It’s just hard to put the two sides together. I thought the easiest way would just be to get far away On going to college and eating there: I am going to be on campus, in a dorm. I have a meal plan, I was required to get one, but honestly the idea of eating in a giant cafeteria and having to go through a line really fast with all those people around makes me feel sick to my stomach so I wasn’t going to use it. I thought maybe I could just eat in my room Commenter: If you have specific dietary needs—and you do—you should be able to get your food arranged ahead of time so you can get it to go or pick it up in a separate line, at least some of the time. OOP: That would be really helpful. I just get really overwhelmed when there’s a lot of choices and people and noise and it takes me forever to choose and I hate being watched when I eat Editor's Note: OOP posted the same post in a different sub- I'm only including one comment: Commenter: You should absolutely tell your doctor. Your mom encouraged you to have an eating disorder. That’s abusive. (By the way, have you ever read I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jenette McCurdy? Her mom did the same stuff to her growing up. It was an eye opening book to read.) 750 calories is not enough for you and that’s why you haven’t started your period yet. You do have an eating disorder. You need treatment from a physician and therapy to relearn that eating is not bad. OOP: Thank you. I haven’t read the book yet but I loved watching Sam and Cat when I was younger. Do you think I’ll ever get my period? Is it too late? I’m worried I ruined that forever OOP Comments an hour later (Same Day) Thank you for answering all my questions. I can’t believe I ended up turning to reddit but I wasn’t sure where else to go. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m so tired all the time and I feel like everything around me is far away. I don’t ever feel happy, I just know when I’m supposed to look like it. I worked so hard for my scholarship so I could get as far away as possible and it’s the only thing I’ve ever been proud of or done right and I’m just so afraid if I admit what’s going on that I would lose it and get stuck here Mini Update in Comments (3 hours later) To update everyone- Thank you for the advice. I ended up going to the ER a town over, alone. I turned off my location on my phone and I didn’t give them any emergency contacts so I should be able to be here without anyone finding out hopefully. I told the check in lady everything. The nurse said my vitals aren’t very good and my heart rate hasn’t been over 50 since I’ve been here and my ekg was kind of weird and my potassium is 1.4 [OOP clarifies she meant 2.4] so they want to keep me overnight and have me get fluids, so I’m here now. They said I’ll have a social worker too so maybe they can help me figure out keeping my parents out of things. The doctor was really nice and said he would contact my doctor and we would figure things out Relevant Comments: Commenter: Holy shit. Are you sure it was 1.4? I've never seen a potassium that low. Thank God you went to the ER. I'm glad you're getting help! Pm me if you need anything OOP: No im sorry I typed it wrong, I hit the 1 instead of the 2. It’s 2.4. I guess I’ve been drinking too much water and the medicine my mom was giving me so I wouldn’t get bloated makes potassium come out in my pee so it messed up the levels. The IV with potassium hurts a lot but they said I’ll feel better after Commenter: Holy cow was she giving you furosemide?! That’s so dangerous OOP: I’m not sure what it was, one was a blue oval and one was a white circle. She said it would help if I was retaining water or getting bloated and make my headaches better Commenter: I’m so sorry that you’ve been subjected to this mistreatment by your mother, she shouldn’t have been giving you medications like that, i just researched more into it, I had no clue you could get diuretics like that over the counter I thought you typically needed a prescription. I think she gave you Diurex OOP: That makes me wonder about the other stuff she would give me for headaches and stomachaches 🫤 Commenter: Hey OP, do you have siblings at home too that might be affected by this? OOP: No, I’m an only child. My parents actually didn’t want kids 💀 Currently at the hospital: That makes sense. Yesterday they had me only have clear things. I’ve had an iv in since I got here and later a dietician is supposed to come talk to me One more thought from OP: Thank you. I’m really scared but I feel kind of relieved too. I think I might actually even be able to fall asleep without weed for once Next Day Comment (June 15) Thank you. The longer I’m sitting here thinking about it, I feel so sad. I don’t understand why she would lie to me. I’m wondering what else she lied about and how I let myself believe all of it even when I started finding things that showed it wasn’t true. I should’ve known better but I wanted her to be an exception. I keep thinking about stuff like how she taught me to play piano. I thought she was a good mom. She played with me when I was a kid and she would sing to me when I was scared at night. She told me she just wanted to make sure I was the best version I could be so I wouldn’t have regrets Update in Comments: June 16, 2024 (2 days after OG post) Another update Sorry for talking so much. I hadn’t ever told anyone any of this until two days ago and now that I started talking I feel like I can’t shut up. It’s been a really confusing couple of days. Once I’m medically stable they want to discharge me to an inpatient program close to my school. Hopefully then I’ll be ready to be outpatient by the time college starts so I won’t miss anything and I’ll still get to go to activities and make friends. They’re going to help me find a regular doctor in that area that knows about eating disorders to help coordinate care and because it’s a new doctor and I can sign all my own things my parents won’t even know who I’m seeing. I was supposed to go home for a couple weeks before I moved to school but I didn’t really want to so I’m kind of glad the doctors don’t want me to either :/ which feels like a shitty thing to say. I’m scared and relieved at the same time. But I think I missed so much stuff over my childhood and I’m excited to get to start over somewhere new. I’m just trying to focus on thinking about what I’ll do when I feel better. Thank you everyone for being so kind and for the really helpful advice. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen in my life. I appreciate all the reassurance too. Even though I know it’s the right thing I can’t help feeling like I’m doing something wrong and I shouldn’t have said anything pretty often. I finally feel like things might actually be okay someday Unsent Letter Post: June 18, 2024 (2 days later) I should be mad at you. I spent years chasing every whim, hoping to do something right, hoping to be enough. I justified everything. I gave you excuses. I thought to myself “if I try harder she’ll be happy.” But it never was enough. Not when I followed every diet you put me on because you didn’t want me to grow too big. Not when I gave up nights with my friends because you didn’t want to be alone. Not when I cleaned your alcohol drenched vomit from the rug before dad came home. You never loved me. Not when I groveled. Not when I pleaded. Not when I tried to make myself small enough to fit in your cold, hard heart. Nothing could fit there anyway, the space is filled with your own vanity, oozing conceit. It takes a unique level of maliciousness to raise a child while planting mental land mines scattered through the ether of their thought, one missed step from blowing up. you’re so stupid this is your fault no one will ever want you if you tell, they’ll never understand no one will ever get you like I do And you really thought I’d never find out how much you lied to me. You genuinely believed I was so dumb I’d stay placated and quiet forever. I should be mad at you, but I’m not. Not for long. Every time my anger bubbles to a peak it spills over and melts to guilt, sadness, and confusion and I’m left feeling a little emptier, my fury reduced to a puddle of lukewarm runoff. I really should be mad at you. I would be mad at anyone else. But I can’t help but replay the gentle moments, the ones that felt almost nurturing. Part of me still hopes the universe where you say you’re sorry exists. The one where you’re capable of emotions that aren’t self serving. The one where you protect me instead of being the one I need protection from. I should be mad at you. All I ever asked for was simple- love me how I am. But I don’t think you ever saw me as a person, just a possession. An inconvenience with too much free thought, and a spirit that needed to be subdued, shattered, crushed to pieces too small to do anything too daring. I can’t stay mad because I’m devastated. You watched me atrophy. You incited it. You stood and held my hand as I walked to the edge of the cliff and then you pushed me off and told me it was so I’d learn to fly. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. You knew that. I crashed, burned, and laid in a charred wreck at rock bottom still begging you to love me. I should be mad at you, but I pity you. And this time I’m not crawling back. I hope you forget the sunscreen when you make your way to hell, but I’m still secretly hoping you miss me when you get there, Your daughter Update in Comments of OG post: June 20, 2024 (2days later, 6 from OG post) Another update- Four days ago I started getting a bad stomach ache. Initially the doctors thought it was just from not being used to eating but then the next day I woke up with a fever and the pain kept getting worse. I turned out I had appendicitis. I had surgery to remove it and they placed an NG tube in my nose while I was under, which has made this process a little easier actually even though I was afraid to get it. My potassium is back in the normal range again, my heart rate is a lot better, and overall I’m starting to feel a lot better too. They think there’s a good chance if I can get healthy I won’t have any permanent damage from the last 8 years. For anyone wondering about the whole “18 is still a minor in Alabama” part and what that would mean in terms of mandated reporting, they did have to report my situation. I don’t want to go into that too much though. I can’t go back home but that’s probably for the best. I’ve been able to find a lot of helpful outlets in writing and the social worker and other hospital people have been really kind and helpful. It’s been a really intense week, but I’m hopeful that soon I’ll be well enough to discharge to treatment and have a fresh start. The amount of positivity and kindness and advice I received here absolutely blew me out of the water and helped me get through basically upending my own life. I was so scared and so unsure of whether I was making the right choice. I still sometimes go back and forth on that. But I definitely needed the help. Life Advice Post: June 21, 2024 (1 week from OG post, next day from last update) Might as well keep using the throwaway account for my embarrassing secrets right? A summary- my mom was actually really awful which I only recently realized the extent of but basically she constantly lied to me and kept me kind of sheltered and I am super naive now and leaving for college in a couple months and suddenly feeling horrible unprepared. What kind of life stuff do I need to know? What do you wish you would’ve known at 18? What is some information that’s helpful about college? Practical to emotional- I just want to feel more prepared. Edit to add demographics per request- 18F, USA. No siblings and now no parents. Likely no extended family either. Relevant Comments: To a longer comment: Thank you for this 🩵 the financial stuff I’m kind of figuring out. I have a scholarship for school which helps a lot but I’ve never had my own bank account (thought I wasn’t allowed to) so I’ve been looking into that too Commenter: I'd also like to say make friends, but go slow there, too. Don't trust anyone too quickly, don't confide too much. There is plenty of time for that later, after you get to know people. Such a big adventure you are beginning! I know you are nervous, but I'm a little envious. OOP: Oh, I’m not planning to confide in anyone. That’s why this is on a throwaway. I want to just be normal. I don’t want to be seen for anything else or known as someone who had a bad childhood or anything More on OOP's background: Yes. I wasn’t allowed on social media until I was 17. And while I did go to public school and I had friends, she often guilted me out of spending time with them and essentially taught me not to be trusting or open with anyone but her Commenter: Lied about what? Also could you tell us a bit more about yourself? Advice can vary depending on gender etc. OOP: Literally everything. To give a few examples: -I thought I wasn’t legally allowed to go to my doctor appointments alone -I thought if my mom unalived herself and left a note saying it was my fault I would go to jail -I thought it was illegal to block her number/not answer her if I was on her phone plan -I thought I could get arrested for being a runaway if I left the house for a few hours when things were….intense My mom did a lot of things. I wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of normal shows or read normal books. She wouldn’t sign the papers to let me do the unit on puberty and stuff from school so I have to give myself the talk via the internet basically. In general, I just want some real life advice that will be actually helpful to me Food: I can make eggs and toast and a few simple things like that. Food in my house was….complicated. And most of it was chosen for me. I also don’t know anything about cooking meat because I wasn’t allowed to eat it. Maybe a cooking class is is a good idea Commenter: Get a meal plan if the cost is within your means. OOP: I did actually! It was required (Editor's note- can confirm as it was required for me too when I went lol) One last comment from OOP from June 24 (I found this after posting- not enough for a full update) Thank you. Im actually discharging straight into an inpatient facility now, and I’ll stay there probably until I can move into my dorm. I have thought about the breaks and the summer and I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do but I’m not going back to Alabama, so I’ll figure something out Editor's Note: I chatted with OOP in the dms and she is an absolute sweetheart. I won't share out of concern for privacy for both of us, but when I asked what university she's going to, we found out she's going to the same school that I went to for my Bachelor's and Master's! I'm excited for her. A reminder do NOT comment on Original Posts. OOP Commented on this post: Hi. I’m the OOP. I don’t think I have the vocabulary for how blown away I am right now. It is absolutely surreal that so many people who don’t know me at all have taken the time to write thoughtful advice, encouragement, and kindness. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so warm in my life. 🥹 This has been the weirdest, most confusing, intense and disorienting two weeks of my life, but I’m okay with that because I think otherwise it might’ve been my last two weeks. I only felt brave enough to post my questions because I was finally 18 and I thought maybe I could get help without my parents having to know or be involved at all. I also want to add I can’t take full credit for taking myself to the ER. After my original post someone who is a board certified psychiatrist reached out to me and told me I needed to go to the emergency department. He even helped me figure out which one to go to. I’m not sure I would’ve done that otherwise- I didn’t realize how serious my situation was even though I’d been having chest pain for weeks and feeling unwell. His advice is what made me go that night. I appreciate the comments on my bravery, but truthfully it wasn’t my idea. I also had some people reach out from my original post that have been encouraging helping me navigate how completely unsteady and intense this has been, and riding out the fear and guilt. Without that, I’m not sure I would’ve stayed in the hospital. I probably would’ve gone home. The internet is truly amazing. Currently, I’m on my way to treatment. I know it’s where I need to be, but I’m nervous. All this positivity has really made me feel so much better and even excited for the future. I figured I would address/answer a couple things that kept coming up in the comments. - My dad My dad was gone a lot on business trips. I don’t think he understood the entire extent of things (I didn’t either though) but I did sometimes hear him and my mom fighting, and he would say things to the effect of “you’re going to fuck her up and make her vain”. At some point he got a call from social services about me and he ignored them. He chose to believe my mom’s version of events, so he’s out of the picture. Legally neither of my parents are my guardians anymore. -Legal Stuff I was told that in Alabama there is a part of the law about mandated reporting that includes 18 year olds if they are at immediate risk of danger and don’t qualify for adult services. That’s the part that caused the hospital to report my situation to social services. There’s a legal protective order in place. If my mom tried to find me or contact me, they haven’t told me. I think they’ve been trying to shield me from that. I have mixed feelings but I’m kind of trying to just let the people trying to help, help and not think about that too much because it makes me feel guilty. I didn’t want to punish them. I just wanted to feel better. -On college The social worker and case worker are figuring out setting up supports for college and who needs to be informed of my situation as well as making it harder to figure out where I am, so someone is on that. -My documents I’m just going to have to get new ones, basically. Which is probably safer anyway. I never even saw my own SSN card. -Getting therapy I’m going to a treatment center for eating disorders, I’ll have a therapist and when I finish inpatient and move to outpatient I’ll still keep having therapy -Winter Gear I’m definitely planning to get some…..once I know what size I’m going to need it in 🫣 recommendations for where to get it and what brands are warmest very welcome. I’m told when I gain weight I won’t feel so cold but I’m not sure I buy it. -health effects I had a bone density scan. It had a z score of -2 and they said I have osteopenia but it’s treatable. I’m also still growing, apparently. My EKGs still aren’t normal but they’re better. I got appendicitis and then shortly after, the flu. Probably from being in a hospital full of sick people, which kind of affected my eating and weight gain so my weight dropped a bit more but I’m feeling better and working on it more! I’ll also say that even in spite of that, getting tube fed and being able to eat more things and not just almonds and fruit and rice cakes definitely cleared a lot of the fog in my head. I can think in complete thoughts again, and I feel like it’s easier to access words. -Making sure I don’t end up dating someone awful Currently, I have no desire to date anyway. I want to get my footing on this tightrope before I try to walk it holding hands, so to speak. I appreciate the concern about it though, it’s a good point. I just need to sort my own stuff out first, and I don’t want to do that with an audience who has expectations of me. -Support for my scholarship and my writing Thank you 🥹 I don’t even know what else to say because nothing feels adequate. You all made me tear up. Maybe I will write a book. -On updating When I’m all better, strong, and doing things I didn’t think I could I promise to update :) someday I want a little space of my own with a dog, a piano, and a garden. And a pantry full of snacks. -Other people struggling in the comments There were a lot of people with similar situations and I just wanted to say this one thing- for me, doing what was better for me and objectively the right thing didn’t feel like the right thing. I had to do it in spite of how counterintuitive it felt and how guilty I felt. Sometimes the right thing doesn’t feel like it. Also, you’ll feel a lot better when you start getting better. Focus on the way your brain goes back online instead of the way you can suddenly feel every hurt you’ve ever neglected. I’m told it gets better but only if you don’t stop. From the very bottom of my slow-beating-but-healing heart, Thank you. I think this is the first time in my life I haven’t wished I was invisible ​ Editor's note 2: Thanks everyone for all of the comments and advice. In order to not completely overwhelm OOP with info, I'm going to keep a list of advice and then create a google doc for her and organize things by subject. I read all comments so I'll get there, but it might take me a bit! I'm glad to be a part of this community 💜 submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Successful-Corgi-482. He posted in r/TrueOffMyChest Thanks to u/Creepy_Addict for finding this. Trigger Warning: teenage pregnancy Mood Spoiler: incredibly bleak and frustrating Original Post: February 11, 2024 My (M18) girlfriend (F18) and I had unprotected sex today. Normally, I use a condom. Admittedly, there have been a few times when I haven’t worn a condom and I pulled out. I know that’s not a real version of birth control. I know it was stupid and risky. Today I asked her if I could not use a condom and just pull out instead. She said she didn’t think that was a good idea. That was fine, I was glad one of us was actually thinking. So I put a condom on. When she was getting close, she told me to take the condom off. She begged me to cum in her. I knew it was a bad idea. I knew it was stupid and I shouldn’t do it. But what did I do? I gladly took the condom off and came in her. It sounded like a great idea and felt really good in the moment. As soon as we finished I told her we made a mistake and suggested that we get Plan B. She agreed that we behaved like idiots but said she didn’t want Plan B. I offered to go get it, in case she was embarrassed or something. She refused and said she’s scared to take it. She’s worried about side effects. I told her I understand that everything carries a risk of side effects, but I’m sure Plan B is pretty safe. Compared to the risks of pregnancy…come on. She said she didn’t want to take it and prefer to “let the universe take its course” regarding whether she gets pregnant or not. Look, I know that I have no say about what she does with her body. I respect that. I know the only thing I had control over was whether I wore a condom or not and I failed at that. I’m still pissed off and can’t understand why she’d even want to risk this. Relevant Comments: Taking accountability/it's your fault: I know I did. I admitted it. She didn’t force me. I fucked up. She admitted we fucked up. I don’t understand why she’s so scared to take a pill that she would rather risk possibly getting pregnant. Letting the universe take it's course sounds crazy: Especially crazy since she also has since told me she “thinks it’s her body’s time of the month to get pregnant” and she keeps contacting me saying she hopes she’s not pregnant. Take the pill then, it’s not that complicated!!! If she's scared of the pill, she could get an IUD: She’s scared of birth control too 😬 She's trying to get pregnant: I really don’t think she was trying to get pregnant. I think the idea just turned her on. You're naive: Nothing she’s ever said indicates she wants to have a baby right now. She’s been texting me since last night about how she doesn’t want to have a baby and she’s scared. Ovulation cycle (OOP clarifies her last period was January 30) I just looked it up on a calculator and it says she would likely ovulate today and that best chances for pregnancy would be sex a day or two before ovulation. If all that is accurate, I’m fucked. She baby trapped you for financial security: I’m 18, a senior in high school, and have no job. I’m going to college in the fall. What kind of financial security would she think she was going to get? She’s not that stupid. On why she might be scared of birth control: She goes to an all girls Catholic school. Who knows what kind of stuff they’re being told about all of this stuff there. One more from OOP because many say he's blaming her when it's his fuck up: I said it’s not my fault that I can’t be the one to take the pill. I did NOT say that removing the condom wasn’t my fault. If I could be the one to take the pill instead of her, I would. I’d be doing it for the sake of both of us. Unfortunately, that’s not an option. She’s the only one who could do it. I also acknowledged that I understand that I have absolutely no say in what she does with her body, whether that’s plan b, abortion, etc. Nowhere have I blamed her for where I ejaculated. In my original post, as well as a number of comments, I’ve taken full responsibility for that. Not sure why people continue to comment as if I’m blaming her. If she gets pregnant, we are both to blame. Yeah, I wish she’d have taken plan b. Do I think she’s completely to blame if she ends up pregnant? Definitely not. I don’t see this as her problem only. It’s our problem. If we have a baby it affects both of us and I’m not a POS who would just walk away. I said WE, not just she. IMO we both fucked up. It’s not like I came in her against her will. She wanted it, in the moment. I acknowledge that I could have and should have said no. I made my own free choice to take the condom off. She’s not to blame for what I did whatsoever. I just think we were caught up in the moment. But afterwards, I felt like I was doing the responsible thing (as responsible as you can get after doing something so stupid) by suggesting plan b and offering to get it. I feel like if you don’t want a baby, that’s really the only option other than abortion once the deed’s been done. She keeps saying she doesn’t want a baby, she’s scared, panicking, etc. So, I offered the only real possible solution there could be at this time and she turned it down. Better than throwing my hands up and saying “well there’s absolutely nothing we can do now.” If you truly don’t want a baby, there is a solution. And I’m sorry that due to biology she would have to be the one to take the pill instead of me. Did I yell at her and demand that she take it? No. Did I specifically say that all of the people here suggesting that I crush it up and slip it in her drink were creepy and that I’d never do something like that? Yes. I AM angry at myself for what happened. Update Post: February 29, 2024 (18 days later) This is an update to my original post about my girlfriend refusing to take Plan B. Her period was due a few days ago but it didn’t come. She wanted to wait a week or two to take a test. She just wants to avoid everything. I bought the test because she was too embarrassed to do it. She said she’d take it this weekend. Sure. She’d probably mysteriously lose the test before taking it. I made her take it last night when I was at her house. It’s super faint, but looks positive. There’s a barely visible plus sign there. You have to look really close to see it. Can there ever be situations where it’s a false positive this early on??? Could it just be a trick of the light or something? I feel my world ending now. I know it only takes one time but what are the chances that the one time we have unprotected sex and I don’t pull out she gets pregnant? I learned my lesson, I was never going to risk it again. I was going to be so good forever after this. Relevant Comments: Have you talked to her about an abortion? The conversation hasn’t gotten that far. There was very little talking afterwards, just her crying for ages Mini Update in Comments: March 11, 2024 (11 days later) Not really. She took another pregnancy test a few days after the one with the really light line. It turned positive immediately and didn’t even take the full time to show up. She keeps saying “I can’t have a baby.” But she also refuses to tell her parents or anyone else. I keep telling her she’s wasting time. She’s wasted over a week. Relevant Comments: Abortion? She’s scared of it just like she was scared of Plan B. She needs to stop avoiding the problem. Can you talk to anyone? Offer anything? I told her I’d pay for it, that I’d make the appointment for her, anything!!! She says “I’m not ready.” She’s made me promise to give her a few more days. Now she says give her until this weekend. I’m going to tell my parents at that point if she hasn’t done anything. I don’t know what else to do. Update Post 2: March 16, 2024 (16 days from last post, 5 days after comment update) Title: My gf is pregnant and wants to keep the baby out of fear My girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant. We’ve known she was pregnant for about 2 weeks. She took a test as soon as she missed her period. She’s been putting off doing anything about it. She’s scared of every option, just like she was also scared of birth control and taking plan b. Now today she told me she’s decided to keep the baby. She “can’t do adoption” and she doesn’t want to get an abortion. In her words, the only leaves keeping the baby. She doesn’t really seem to want to do that either, but she’s too scared to do anything else. I don’t really understand how the thought of becoming a parent isn’t the most terrifying option to her, because it definitely is to me. I get that it’s not my body and I have no say at all. I just think she’s not making a decision based on reason. If she truly felt like she wanted to have a baby and be a mom right now, despite what I think or feel, then I’d feel like it was at least more of a valid decision to make. She thinks it’s the least bad of all options. Nevermind that we’re both 18, graduating high school this year and supposed to go to college, and neither of us have jobs. She hasn’t even told her parents. So she’s assuming they’re going to help financially and probably in other ways too. I’m sure you’ll be shocked when I tell you she’s too scared to tell her parents. I told her I don’t think somebody who is scared of every single thing is ready to be a mom. I’m not ready to be a dad but at least I’m not sitting there frozen with fear not doing anything and making huge life changing decisions because of it. She says “It’s not going to be that bad. It’s a baby. There are many things worse than a baby.” And she says things like “Maybe we’re supposed to have this baby.” I told her no, this isn’t some sort of kismet or dated occurrence. She’s pregnant because we had unprotected sex, that’s it. Because we were idiots. Not because she wants to believe the universe wants this to happen and she’s destined to be a mom to this baby. I can’t even imagine her telling her parents ever. That’s just how she is. I think she’ll wait until it becomes obvious and they have to ask her, then she’ll finally admit to it. And by that point they’ll be a million times more angry than they already will be. I’m freaking out. I want to go cry to my mommy if I’m being perfectly honest. Relevant Comments: Her parents: "As for her parents, I don’t think they’re unsafe. I’m sure they think she’s a virgin. She goes to an all girls Catholic school. So yeah, they have a certain set of beliefs. But I don’t think there’s any reason to believe they’re “unsafe.”" "Honestly, she hasn’t actually said it but I think she’s probably hoping that she won’t actually have to be the one who tells her parents." "She’s knows she’ll get in trouble no matter what. Unless she had an abortion and didn’t tell them, which is totally a valid option. I think she’s more scared of the actual abortion." "I think she’s not on birth control because her school has told her some sort of fear mongering information and statistics that has her convinced she’ll die if she takes it or her parents will find out and she won’t be their little girl anymore. I said I’m a few other comments that she basically wanted everyone to ignore when she turned 18. It was strange." Girlfriend's Catholic school: You were taught by nuns? How long ago were you in school? There are definitely no nuns at her school. They still have the plaid uniforms though. She loves the uniform, it’s kind of weird. They have traditions too like each year they’re allowed to wear different things, like seniors can wear colorful cardigans instead of just the school colored ones. It’s like a big deal to be able to wear your colorful sweaters as a senior 🙄 We went to elementary and middle school together at a Catholic school. Then when it was time for high school, she actually chose the all girls school herself. We have like 4-5 Catholic high schools around here and her parents let her choose which one she wanted to attend. Thats what a lot of students at our grade school do, but it’s super rare for any of the girls to pick the all girls high school. Like, I probably know of 3 girls who actually chose to go there themselves and about half the families in our neighborhood send their kids to Catholic school. Maybe you're not the father- get a DNA test/is the math working: "I wouldn’t really see it as a relief to find out I wasn’t the father. I get it, everyone should protect themselves legally and I’m sure when it gets to that point maybe I’ll need to have a DNA test done for legally purposes but I’m pretty positive I’m still the only person she’s ever had sex with." "Generally ovulation takes place mid-cycle, so your period would be due about 2 weeks after that. Pregnancy is counted from the date of the last period and the date of her last period was January 30. I now know what more about ovulation and menstrual cycle than I ever thought possible." On if OOP will leave: I can’t really imagine being responsible for supporting myself, my girlfriend, and a baby right now. It’s crazy to think about. But I wouldn’t go off to school and leave her behind to take care of a baby. That wouldn’t be right. Tell her you're talking to your parents no matter what: The reason I haven’t told my parents yet is because side I’m pretty sure they’ll contact her parents right away. I was trying to give her time to tell her parents on her own. She begged me to wait to tell my parents. I told her she has through this weekend. If she's scared of the pill, how is she not scared of childbirth? It makes absolutely no sense, but I guess birth is something she can ignore and put off for a while and it’ll just eventually end up happening. Idk On why she was scared of Plan B: It turns out she was scared of Plan B because she read several stories about it being extremely painful and women wishing they would just die because the pain was so intense. So she decided she rather just take her chances. We’re actually going to the same college. Update Post 3: March 30, 2024 (2 weeks from last post, 7 weeks from OG post) Title: Told my parents that my (18M) girlfriend (18F) is pregnant My girlfriend and I are 18 and about the graduate high school. We’re both planning to go ton college in the fall. We fucked up and she got pregnant. I tried to get her to take the plan b pill right after we had unprotected sex, but she was too scared. She wanted to “let the universe take its course.” Now she’s around 8 weeks pregnant. She hasn’t been to the doctor or a Planned Parenthood or anything like that to confirm any dates but online calculators say she’s 8 weeks. She’s not taking any action right now. It’s like she’s just ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away. She regularly freaks out and cries to me about it, saying she can’t be a mom. I offered to help her get an abortion and to be with her. She’s too scared of that. I think she really needs to tell her parents now because I don’t know what else to do. I think she just wants to hide it for as long as possible and that honestly freaks me out. So, I warned her I was going to tell my parents. I gave her like 2 weeks and she did nothing, so I finally told my parents last night. We were all in the livingroom and I just decided to say it because there was never going to be a good moment to say it. I basically just told them I did something really stupid and now she’s pregnant. My mom really wanted to believe that I was joking or pranking her. She said she knew I was having sex with her, but we talked about being safe and she was like “How many times have we had the safe sex talk? How many times?!??” I could tell they were both really disappointed. My mom just sat there staring at me silently for what felt like ages. My dad was like “You can’t be a dad, you’ve never even had a job!” My mom was really trying hard not to yell at me. She just stayed silent for a long time. Finally, she asked me about what my girlfriend says she’s going to do. I explained everything that’s happened so far and my mom said I did the right thing by offering to get Plan B and that that’s all I could do at that point since it’s my gf’s body and her choice. My dad said she’s an idiot if she thinks she’s just going to have this baby and everything will be sunshine and rainbows and that she’ll be ruining both of our lives if she does that. Hsaid we’ll “figure this out” as a family, and there’s no way I’m not going to college. My mom said we need to support my gf right now because she is all alone and I’m too much of an idiot to be able to help her on my own. My mom seems to feel bad for my girlfriend now, about how she’s so scared to do anything and can’t talk to her parents. I asked them to please not immediately tell her parents. My parents are the type that will definitely inform her parents if she continues the pregnancy, but my mom is going to try to talk to her first. Her parents are religious. My parents aren’t really religious and my mom is a nurse so she can hopefully be a little more unbiased in that respect. So, I’m supposed to invite my girlfriend over to our house today. I’m not even telling her that I told my parents. I’m sort of tricking her into this conversation with my mom (my dad won’t be there because that might feel too weird for her). I know if I let her know that I told them she won’t come over. She’s going to be really pissed off but I honestly feel relieved. Relevant Comments: Symptoms: She’s starting to have symptoms. She’s nauseous, has thrown up a few times that she’s told me about, and her boobs hurt really bad. I think she probably has an anxiety disorder just based on this and other things. I also think it’s like you say and she’s avoiding having to confront it until she can’t ignore it any longer. She rather make a decision by not making a decision and basically have her only option decided for her. More on their schools: We go to different schools. I go to a Catholic school but my family isn’t really religious. Even at my school we learned all about how sex and conception work and were told about condoms in health class (but also told that hormonal birth control is bad). She goes to an all girls Catholic school. I have no idea what they’re taught there but I feel like they’re pretty progressive in some respects based on what she tells me. Good luck with child support: Why does everyone keep saying “a lifetime of child support” as if that’s the worst or hardest thing here? What about being responsible for raising a whole human being? Thats what terrifies me. Even though it was hard, you did the right thing in telling them: Thanks. I know my mom was crying about it later last night because my dad told me. I feel bad. It’s not my parents’ fault because they talked to me about it so many times and even thought me condoms. I made my mom feel like a failure, according to my dad. It honestly is a relief having told them now though. Did you tell your mom that she asked you to take off the condom? Yeah. My mom forced me to explain how exactly this happened since she knows both her and my dad have drilled it into me to always always wear a condom. It was very embarrassing. Update Post 4: April 1, 2024 (2 days later) I just made a post about telling my parents that my girlfriend is pregnant. My mom, who is also a nurse, decided she needed to talk to my girlfriend. So I invited my gf over to our house yesterday, but I didn’t tell her that I had said anything to my parents or that my mom was planning to talk to her about it. I know some people thought this was wrong to do. Maybe it was, idk. I knew she’d be mad at me, but I also knew she’d never come over to let my mom talk to her otherwise. My gf knows my parents. She’s over at my house all the time. As soon as she got here she had to run to the bathroom because she was sick, but I don’t think it was the throwing up kind of sick. My mom was basically waiting there as soon as she got out and let her know that I had told my parents everything. The look my gf gave me told me she hated me in that moment. She tried to leave. I asked her to please stay, my mom wasn’t going to yell at her or be mean, she just wanted to help. She kept saying she didn’t want to talk about it, she doesn’t need help, etc. I think my mom did the best she could. She was nice about it. She did most of the talking and my gf just sat there mostly in silence. She didn’t try to pressure my gf into anything. She basically just said that no matter what decision she makes, she can’t continue to ignore the situation because that’ll only make things work. If she wants to consider abortion, time is really limited. My mom explained exactly what happens during both forms of abortion. She told her if she is continuing the pregnancy she needs to get medical care to make sure everything is ok, is everything growing in the right place, etc. My mom even gave her resources for where she can go to get checked out if she doesn’t want to go to her normal doctor right now. And if she’s keeping the baby we all need to figure out how that’s going to happen since the two of us are nowhere near ready for that. As soon as my mom said the word “adoption,” my gf said “I can’t do that.” My mom was not trying to convince her on adoption, just trying to talk about all the options. My gf cried a lot. She said she’s still thinking about everything. My mom asked to please let her help her make an appointment just to find out how far along she is and that everything is ok. My gf said no, she’d do it herself. My mom offered to help her tell her parents. My gf said no, she’s not ready for that yet. I know my mom was frustrated but she didn’t really show it. My gf wasn’t going to open up no matter what my mom did or said. Then later after my mom left us alone, my gf told me she’s sorry but she can’t get an abortion either, but she couldn’t tell my mom that in the moment. So, that’s it. She’s not going to get an abortion. She’s not going to give it up for adoption. I’m going to be a dad and my life is over. We’re not going to college or if we do it’ll be not at the college of our choice and not with any sort of normal college experience. Forget about dream careers. Forget about everything we thought our lives would look like. I’m going to have to get a shitty job that doesn’t make enough to survive let alone support a baby with. We’re going to need government assistance. We’re going to struggle from this day forward, for the rest of our lives, because she thinks getting an abortion would be murdering our baby. Oh and she loves me so much that she can’t kill the baby we made. Ugh. I feel like an asshole because I know I made a mistake that caused this but I just think she’s not thinking this through at all. It’s 100% emotion and nothing rational about it. When I asked her how in the hell she thinks we’re going to take care of a baby or what our lives will be like with a baby she says “I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.” It wasn’t worth it. I’d rather wear 5 condoms at once (and yes I know you shouldn’t double up condoms) rather than ever have unprotected sex if I could go back. I was up until like 3 am just feeling like the world is ending. After she left, I told both my parents about what she said. I may have had a bit of a breakdown at that time. My mom said we weren’t going to talk about it at all today, so our family came over for Easter today and we all pretended like everything is perfect and answered all of my relatives’ questions about my college plans as if any of that is still happening. Relevant Comments: Trade school: "We have absolutely no trade related training at my high school. I heard there used to be a little of that back in the 80s. Generations of my family have gone to my high school. So, it’s more of a tradition that I go there than anything but they are hardcore college prep. Pretty sure there’s nothing like that at my gf’s school either. She goes to an all girls Catholic school. They got rid of all the home ec stuff there and she was glad because she said the cooking classes would stink up everything, but she said they have nothing that isn’t academic anymore either." Possible abuse? I think she’s just scared of going to the doctor, scared of facing reality, and scared of her parents finding out. She’s never been to a gynecologist. More on GF and her family: "I don’t think she’s having sex with anyone else or has been raped. Crazier things have happened but I just don’t get that feeling at all. It wasn’t the first time we had unprotected sex. We’d done it a few times before, but I always pulled out. This is the first time she asked me to cum inside her. Well, it’s the first time she actually told me to do it, but not the first time she’d talked about it. She was turned on by the idea. At least that’s what she told me. She really likes sex. I know it’s hard to believe that somebody seemingly so scared of everything would even have sex. She was very nervous about it at first. She wanted to do it but was scared somebody would find out and she’d get in trouble. She had never even masturbated before. I was the first person to touch her sexually, according to her. For a few months all she’d let me do was touch her with my hand and get her off that way - that was the first time she ever had an orgasm. Now she watches porn and has bought herself vibrators." "I know her family. On the outside, they seem like a perfect family. Like some sort of 1950s tv family. They’re religious but not nutcases. They just have Catholic beliefs about sex, marriage, babies. Her dad is super nice. Her mom is nice, but her mom has substance abuse issues that the entire family covers for. I don’t even know the full extent because she will not go into great detail, but I’ve seen enough first hand just being around them in their home." Seeing a doctor: I know. My mom tried to talk to her about all of the reasons she needs to see a doctor - about how dangerous it can be if she doesn’t get medical care. Then today she texted me that her vagina smells very weird. I’m like go to the doctor!!! What if you have some sort of infection that is dangerous when pregnant? I don’t know anything about this stuff. I think I’m going to try making an appointment for her somewhere where she doesn’t have to use her parents insurance since she obviously won’t tell them yet. She's not going to make an appointment: No, I’m at the point of doing it for her. Why can't you go to college? Sure, leave her here with our kid while I go off to college for 4 years. Doesn’t seem very fair. Money is one thing (and whatever job I could get while in college full time would not provide her with very much child support), but what about actually taking care of a baby? She’s just supposed to do that all on her own? College housing: I just checked and there is no on campus family housing there. We’re going to the same college. Well, we were going.They have daycare. The fact that I’m looking at daycare for MY baby is enough to make me literally feel weak, like the ground is about to fall right out from under me. Stop playing the victim and sign your rights away: I’m not going to sign my rights away, as if that’s even a thing. I’m not going to abandon my kid and I think kids need more than just financial support from parents. So if I want to have a freak out that my life is going to quickly go from revolving around me to completely revolving around a kid…my kid…then please let me have that. DO NOT comment on original posts. You will be banned from this sub. See rule number 7. Editor's note: Remember to keep things civil please. Edit 2- OOP posted again today. It was removed but the amazing Direct-Caterpillar77 saved it for me. See below Update 5: April 8, 2024 (1 week from previous post) Instead of answering every comment I'll just post this sort of update here. Last week we were both on spring break what should have been the best spring break of my high school life sucked. I hoped to convince her to go to the doctor last week. The didn't happen, she won't come over to my house anymore because she's afraid my mom will corner her and try to talk her more. She told me she couldn't see a doctor over spring break because she had a lot to work on for school and she'd be to stressed out by a doctors appointment to get any of her work done. I told her I was going to tell her parents, she got mad and said she's 18 and I have no right to tell her parents. I asked her what she thinks is going to happen once her parents find out. She said she didn't know but wasn't ready for them to know yet. Maybe she wouldn't tell them and would just go to college. Okay, then what happens if she gives birth in her dorm room? I told her it was really freaking me out. I ended up having a full blown panic attack on Saturday, never had one of those before. I started to feel really dizzy before I lost my hearing and threw up and seriously thought I was having a heart attack and about to die. My mom was monitoring my vital signs the whole time. Once I recovered from that she basically just said she doesn't think my gf is going to end her pregnancy and we just have to move forward with the idea a baby is coming and what needs to be done to cause the least amount of damage. Editor's Note April 10: Confirmed Fake Mods found a deleted post from the account on February 11 saying they were a 30 year old woman. Therefor the post has been marked as a fake! I never would have found it so thanks to those that did. https://www.rareddit.com/r/dating/comments/1anzi0c/advice_for_a_childless_person_dating_somebody/ Posting on the original posts will still result in a ban from the sub submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwRAkimand I just got an email on my husband’s iPad that the hot water in his apartment building was going to be shut down temporarily for repairs. We own our own house, and have not rented for over a decade. Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, manipulation, financial exploitation All posts recovered with rareddit Original Post Oct 17, 2022 My husband is on a trip with one of our sons and his brother to go visit their mother (my son's grandmother). I was cleaning up the den when an email notification popped up on his iPad. It was an email from an apartment complex that they were going to be temporarily closing down the hot water for repairs, sent from one of those automatic senders that you can’t reply to. It was addressed to my husband, with his first and last name. The thing is we own our house. We haven’t rented in over ten years and even then it wasn’t this place. Where my husband is (upstate NY) there isn’t any service. I tried to send him a picture of the email but it won’t go through. I called him and spoke to him for a bit, service was choppy but I managed to explain to him about the email and basically all he said is that it must be a mistake and they had the wrong email. We weren’t able to say much before the call just dropped, but if it was a wrong email how would they have his first and last name, all spelled correctly? (For context, his first name is somewhat common but our last name isn’t common, especially in this area) There weren’t any other emails from this sender or about this apartment complex in my husband’s emails, but he is also the kind who clears out his inbox as he gets messages. I sent a message to the apartment complex telling them that I think my husband was on their email list by mistake, but I just got an automatic email sent back- that they were out of the office until 10/20, and then general rent information pricing (1 bedroom $1,600, 2 bedroom $1,900) and that there were no open units available. There was no unit number on the email but the complex is about 15 minutes away from our house so I went and I drove by. Which I guess might be a little crazy, I know. I didn’t see anything (not like I knew what to expect?) It’s a group of buildings. Less than 100 apartments in all. I don’t have any reason to mistrust my husband other than this weird email that gives me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. As well as a general feeling of paranoia that he’s just been…bored with me. I’ve been feeling this way for a little while but he insists I’m imagining it and that he’s happy (I only bought it up to him once, when I was feeling particularly insecure last year). We still do things together, he still tells me he loves me, etc, I just feel like he doesn’t have as much fun with me as he used to, and like he looks for reasons to be out of the house or doing things specifically with the boys instead of doing things with the whole family. It’s not like it’s something that bothers me every day, just something that I think about when I’m feeling insecure or paranoid (like in a situation like this where he gets an email from random apartment complexes lol). Anyway I don’t know EXACTLY what advice I’m looking for, I know the advice I would have for one of my friends would be just to talk to him but I really can’t do that until he comes home on Saturday, which is a really long time for me to sit with my intrusive thoughts. edit He never lived here in the past. He lived with his parents until college, and then lived in a dorm, and then every place he rented was with me. We’ve been dating since we were 19. edit 2 The email wasn’t a phishing scam. It was a legitimate email, from the email address on the apartment complexes website. All of the information included in the email letterhead matched the information on the apartment complexes website. And if it was a phishing scam, I assume they would’ve been looking for information. This email wasn’t looking for anything, it was just an informational email about the water. Update My best friend called the emergency maintenance number and said that she was a delivery driver who had over $100 worth of food for (and said my husbands name) but said he had forgotten to fill in his apartment number. The guy didn’t speak English very well but after she repeated herself a few times he did eventually say his name and then told us an apartment number. RELEVANT COMMENTS Deedogg1304 Call the apartment complex to see if they are shutting down the water to see if its real and then do some more digging OOP I called them and got an answering service Deedogg1304 I know you trust your husband but dont let that blind trust stop you from seeing if he is in fact hiding something from you OOP The email was real, it all matches the actual information on the apartment complex website ~ dekage55 Realize Apt. Manager is out until 10/20 but doesn’t the voicemail include another number for overnight emergencies? OOP Yes, it gave the private cell phone number for the maintenance person dekage55 Call them, explain you have a delivery for Mr. OP but the Unit # is missing & you’re under a deadline to deliver, as it’s perishable. OOP Thank you, this is a good idea and it worked… The maintenance guy didn’t speak English very well so I think he was somewhat confused, but he eventually gave us an apartment number ADDITIONAL COMMENT FROM OOP He’s never lived there before. Again, the email had good specific first and last name. He has company finances (he owns his company) I don’t have access to. there were no other emails but his email had been emptied out a few days ago some nothing is older than a week Update 1 - Last night I found out about my husband's secret apartment and my friend went to it. Oct 18, 2022 (Next Day) Sorry about the late update. My post was locked by the time I got to it . I'm currently writing this on the ride upstate. Yesterday I posted about an email I had gotten on my husband's email from an apartment complex talking about fixing the water. My husband, who is upstate visiting his mother until Saturday, has next to no cell service so I haven't been able to talk to him about any of this other than saying that the email must have been a 'mix up'. My friend called and got his apartment number from the maintenance man. Both of us went over to the apartment and my friend knocked. A girl answered but didn't answer the door, just the bell camera. My friend said she was there looking for Adam. The girl said that Adam wasn't there but wouldn't give her more information than that (which I get, my friend was just a total stranger at her door). When we left I could see her looking out the apartment window at us. I tried to call my husband a thousand times yesterday and nothing went through. The few times the call did pick up the service was so bad you could barely hear anything. So I'm headed upstate to confront him in person. I have a copy of the email, as well as a photo of the apartment, as well as a recording of the girl saying that Adam wasn't there (which is a confirmation to me that she knows him). If this is somehow all a big misunderstanding I'm going to have my husband explain it to me IN PERSON, instead of waiting until he comes home. I haven't gotten a chance to read all the comments but I will go through them now and try to respond to what I can. I haven't slept so I hope this makes sense. edit to everyone telling me that I should just wait, not confront him, talk to her first… He’s my husband, he’s the father of my children. If I’m going to find out that he’s cheating on me, it is going to be from him. I’m going to say this for the last time. Please, stop advising me NOT to go talk to my husband about this very serious situation that we are in. I will go talk to a lawyer if need be. However, we have been married for over a decade, we have a family, and a life together. I am going to go talk to him. I understand what the situation probably is. I understand that he’s probably going to try to lie to me. I’m not a moron. RELEVANT COMMENTS Corfiz74 Wouldn't it have been better to get her story first and confront him with all the facts? Now he's just going to lie and deflect his ass off, and make you look like the crazy bad guy. He will have come up with a doozy of a story by now. Did you at least use his photo with the maintenance guy, so that you have visual confirmation it's him? OOP How can I get her story When she was barely willing to say anything to my friend? The reason why we didn’t push her is because she wasn’t giving us any information and we were worried that she was going to call the police. My friend tried to ask her more questions, she wasn’t giving her any information Final update - I confronted my husband Oct 18, 2022 (Same Day As First Update) I’m writing this from a hotel room. I went to confront my husband. He knew the minute my car pulled up what was going on. He came outside to meet me and the first thing he said was “did you go to the apartment?” And I told him yeah. So then he said “so I guess we have to have a talk” and again I said yeah. I’m not going to get into the exact details of it. It was a long talk and it involved a lot of emotions. She is his girlfriend. They’ve been together for four months. She is under the impression that we are separated and going through the divorce process. His family wasn’t aware of this. His brother and mother, who were there, were horrified. I’m sorry I don’t have more to say. I’ve already contacted a divorce lawyer, a therapist, and a financial advisor. Thanks to everyone for your support. RELEVANT COMMENTS MarriedLife7 I am so sorry! I am guessing the girlfriend messaged him which is why he knew why you were there. Be sure to login to your bank accounts and if you feel it is necessary take a screenshot and withdrawal half of it into a new account just under your name. OOP She did not message him, he gets no service up there. He just saw the car pulling up and put two and two together. ~ Dont_Give_Up86 How did he pay for this for (probably well over) 4 months without you noticing? OOP His company funds MoonieSanCat My dear, that sounds like embezzlement, and that is a whole other can of worms. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My husband, our 16 year old son, and I are going next month to visit our daughter at her college which is a few states away. She is a freshman and has been with her boyfriend Steve for 3 years. Steve is really a great kid, but since money is a bit tighter in his family, he is doing 2 years at junior college while working to save up for the school my daughter attends. We have never taken him on a trip, but since he says money is right, we decided to bring him with on our visit to see our daughter. He visited her once on his own back in the fall, but due to his finances he wouldn’t be able to afford another trip this school year. He was over the moon when we invited him. We don’t want him to pay for a single thing. His flight, his hotel room (he will be sharing with our son, they get along really well) and his food and drink will all be paid for by us. And really we are glad to do it. We’ve also never really had a disagreement with Steve until now. When speaking to my daughter about plans, the hotel came up. This is when I found out that my daughters dorm roommate is out of town that weekend. And she plans to have Steve stay in her dorm with her while we visit. I told her absolutely not. I said what they do when we aren’t there is their business, but since we are going to be there and funding this whole trip, he will be staying at the hotel. Call my husband and I old school, or traditionalists, but we are Christians. And the idea of them staying together on our visit makes us uncomfortable. We think we are being rather generous to take him in the first place. The word got back to Steve and he actually called me and asked why he couldn’t stay with our daughter. I explained my reasons above and he got irate. He tried to pull the “adult” card. I said Steve, here is the deal. If you wanna stay with her, that’s fine. You will still be welcome to tag along with our family. But there will be separate checks on every meal. And he could figure out his own way there. He said we know he can’t afford that. And I said all we ask is that you sleep at the hotel. He agreed but now my daughter is saying we embarrassed him and he’s thinking of not coming. submitted by /u/Dazzling-Shoulder-67 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I just got an email this morning from the housing department saying they plan for several dorms to be freshmen only. 3, to be exact. 3 of our LARGEST dorms to be exact. Apparently, it was an idea by our president for a "Freshmen Village" to increase retention. However, freshmen only make up like 25% of the population - if that! A lot of freshmen are dual credit students, they don't even come to campus much less live here. The dorms left over are being cut to half occupancy and are small. Combined, they fit about 1,500. There's currently 8,000 upperclassmen. We do not live in a city. We live in a small mountain valley where the college campus takes up 1/3rd of the town. All the houses are owned by families in the town. There are no apartment buildings minus the dorms. The homeless shelter is full. The closest trailer park is 40 minutes out. Even then, the housing department just said "oh well" in the email. They told students to quickly do their returner applications because they anticipate not having enough rooms. So. Where do we go? What do we do? Thousands of upperclassmen are now worrying about being homeless now. I'm in the same boat, but even moreso as not only do I rely on summer housing but break housing as well. As it stands, the disability and break housing building is at 1/2 occupancy as the other half of the building was bought out by a highschool program. They're buying out another couple of floors and a half. Not only are the implications of highschoolers and upperclass college students living together very weird, but it leaves less open for disabled and homeless students. Im stressed out. I have nowhere to go. I have no family. Several of my friends are the same. Do we just pack everything in a bookbag and sleep outside? A bunch of homeless students are trying to organize a protest where we all sleep outside the admin building and the president's house. We don't get many freshmen. I understand maybe ONE dorm, but our three LARGEST dorms?! It makes no sense! This is after he said he's working on getting rid of all non-stem departments and refusing to allow current seniors the ability to graduate with their degrees. I can't go anywhere else, I can't afford a car and public transport is nonexistent here. I'm just stuck here. TLDR: college is making the three largest dorms freshmen only, leaving 8,000 students to fight for 1,400 spots in a small valley town with no other options submitted by /u/angeyberry to r/CollegeRant [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Jessedepass22 to r/PlantedTank [link] [comments]

Four years ago, I got paired up with this truly awful girl in my first year of college. We were polar opposites. She was your typical stuck up, snotty rich girl, and I was a shy, quiet, nerdy girl. Her parents bought her everything, even a car and gas to go in it, my family was hella poor and I bought my own car. We only shared a room for four days. She spent 90% of that time making fun of my old car, my interests, my hobbies, my music, my hair, basically anything she could think of. These dorms are tiny, about 11' by 14', with only a sink, two desks and two twin beds for furniture. So when she wanted her boyfriend to spend the night, I was more than a little uncomfortable, especially since they liked to fool around and thought I couldn't hear it. From literally 10 feet away. After complaining to my RA several times, we were both brought into a meeting with the Housing Director. He decided that I should be the one to change rooms, because not wanting her boyfriend spending the night more than twice a week was "unreasonable." I later found out her parents had talked to him earlier that day and bribed him so that one of her friends could live with her instead. So I got moved to the room next door. She had left town that night (thank god) and as I was packing up my stuff, I thought of something I could do to get back at her. I grabbed a can of tuna I had in my cupboard, punched a hole in it, and spit in it. Then I stuck it on top of the ceiling tiles right above her bed. About two weeks later, I walk past her room on my way to mine, and see the door wide open, with her and four of her friends tearing the room apart, desperately trying to figure out where this horrible smell was coming from. The Housing Director called me to his office the next day and asked if I was the one who did it, and warned I would be in trouble if I lied. I lied and said I had no idea what they were talking about. Got off scot free. submitted by /u/ultraadeline to r/pettyrevenge [link] [comments]