High Pressure Shower Heads

... explode backward in a shower of white wood and flying ...The ball drifts a touch high, and the pins scatter unevenly. ... to build momentum.   The pressure is mounting on Dom Barrett ... frame alive and maintaining pressure on Williams. However, trouble is ...the right moment.     Facing mounting pressure and needing a big response, ...ball glides effortlessly through the heads, reads the lane perfectly, and ...

... explode backward in a shower of white wood and flying ...The ball drifts a touch high, and the pins scatter unevenly. ... to build momentum.   The pressure is mounting on Dom Barrett ... frame alive and maintaining pressure on Williams. However, trouble is ...the right moment.     Facing mounting pressure and needing a big response, ...ball glides effortlessly through the heads, reads the lane perfectly, and ...

..."They mean to cut the heads off Invicta," Magnus states, tapping ..., then charge on, blades high. Captain Michael Marcellus paces behind ... strike draws Spartan's guard high, while 927 activates his energy ... 113 darts in, feinting high with karambits to draw attention, ... Olympian shield in a shower of molten fragments. Spartan counters: ..., the hissing of air pressure involuntarily releasing. He had done ...

..."They mean to cut the heads off Invicta," Magnus states, tapping ..., then charge on, blades high. Captain Michael Marcellus paces behind ... strike draws Spartan's guard high, while 927 activates his energy ... 113 darts in, feinting high with karambits to draw attention, ... Olympian shield in a shower of molten fragments. Spartan counters: ..., the hissing of air pressure involuntarily releasing. He had done ...

...: [20] = 22 CRIT PASS Roll high enough to bypass all Magic...! SORCERESS!" Before one of its heads exploded in a burst of... direction in thunderous cacophony. A shower of sharp pebbles cut at ... the purest Light. Sledgehammer, raised high in her two-handed grip, the ......" It floated closer to Queen, heads tilting with grotesque curiosity. "What... to get up until Ifrit's pressure forced her back down onto...

...water vapor, and then briefly shower Liscor out of the blue...in the foothills of the High Passes. The absolutely massive mountain... close. The creature put heads on sticks and used them ... see through the dead heads somehow? Or was it trying ... a sack full of heads. Plus, it had no head ... reason why it collected heads, and it couldn't be a ...people, really could feel this pressure. It came from all around, ...

... were wet cardboard, and the pressure held him briefly in place. "... together like a vice, the pressure inexorably rising. Red Rush's visor ... the two flew toward the high ceiling of the chamber. Immortal ... Omni-Man and raised her mace high to strike again. She never ... him simultaneously, both roaring their heads off, the hammering of their ... the waist in an exploding shower of crimson gore. He closed ...

... to make use of. Their heads followed me as I continued.... Her head exploded in a shower of gore. Blood and bone ... and wires - was flying high up in the air. Invisible ... elbow freed me from the pressure. "If this is all that ...

...he could feel the same pressure building under her skin. ...space between them like a pressure seal finally released. Ahsoka leaned... Three teams, poorly staggered. One high, two low. Their overwatch angles...the accusation ripple outward, saw heads turn toward the CIS delegation ...maintenance access overlooking the city, high enough that the wind howled...into a rooftop in a shower of sparks and swearing. He ...

... the other two in a shower of sparks. If it had ... shape of three massive, lupine heads that lunged upwards, their jaws ... his body as the blood pressure was raised beyond human levels. ... on his physique. Despite the pressure, Danzo remained clinical. He allowed ... people's peak was so absurdly high that they remained powerful well ...

...‑time feedback on brushing time, pressure, and mode selection, helping you... rating ensures full protection for shower use and easy rinsing, while... a secure grip, and the high‑quality brush heads reach difficult areas for a ...

...sorts and there were two high ranked elites there. "Now...but those are our orders, high risk missions like this are... I told him. "Yeah high risk not… n-not something this...issue was that it wasn't high definition enough for Intelligence ... in. "Aim for their heads, be ready to sprint this... continued to keep the pressure on them, the grenades flew... aliens exploded in a shower of orange gore. Callie, Ralph ...

... thunder sharp in her nose, pressure boring down on her, dragging....) Result, Spirit Healing. Card Roll, Heads. (A developmental ability that grants... it. Furthermore due to the high power she is able to ... the ocean reflecting a star shower. Sora laughed. "I said it ...

Quote from firmlycoral : pfmxsghs Not valid. Deal is dead?

.... The light died. The pressure lifted. Silence. Savitar stood in ..."Squad," Rostam said, and seven heads turned toward him. "You know ... walked, Rostam felt the pressure building in his mind. The ... he saw it—a pressure in his skull, a weight ...the temple collapsed in a shower of stone and fire. He ... burst out in a shower of blood and viscera. The ...Only the nobles in the high spire can actually eat real ...

...months of high school in India, when the crushing academic pressure of the...while he turned on the shower. Ten minutes later, he stood ...red flags: insulin resistance, pre-diabetes, high cholesterol. He had died in ... the IIT-JEE. Stress meant high cortisol, and cortisol actively destroyed ...the dirt to grab the high branches of the banyan trees ...fish eaten whole with the heads and bones for pure calcium. ...

...months of high school in India, when the crushing academic pressure of the...while he turned on the shower. Ten minutes later, he stood ...red flags: insulin resistance, pre-diabetes, high cholesterol. He had died in ... the IIT-JEE. Stress meant high cortisol, and cortisol actively destroyed ...the dirt to grab the high branches of the banyan trees ...fish eaten whole with the heads and bones for pure calcium. ...

...Hydro Energetix 5" Diameter High Pressure Dual Shower Head with Handheld Spray ...amazon.com/Moen-Energ...277&sr= 8-2 HIGH PRESSURE SHOWER HEAD: All spray settings ... increase in force through the high pressure shower heads for the ultimate showering experience... metal hose and dual shower heads WATERSENSE CERTIFIED: Moen Hydro Energetix... handheld shower head with hose Meets EPA...

... weren’t given an option or heads up, just new tickets. We... due to the condition. The shower pressure was strong but the drainage ... to the tracks waving is high. The times that something was ...

I recently replaced my apartment basic shower head with a much nicer one and while the newfound water pressure is awesome, I believe it’s a bit too much for my drain! If put together correctly and the drain in clear, is it possible for the flow to be too high resulting in slower draining than the water coming down? Or is the drain not as clear as I think it is? Would a flow restrictor fix this/ where would I put it in the setup ? Like would I have to do one for each head, or just one at the base submitted by /u/Optimal-Instance69 to r/Plumbing [link] [comments]

Best Shower Head 2026 My current shower head is more of a sad drizzle than a refreshing cascade. I'm looking for a new one that delivers amazing high pressure ideally with options for different spray settings. Tbh, I'm tired of weak showers. It will be good if it's easy to install and doesn't require constant fiddling. Any suggestions is highly appreciated. submitted by /u/Antique-Front-3774 to r/BuyItForLife [link] [comments]

Hello all. I’m new here, I did some searches online to see if there were any threads already dedicated to my situation. There were a couple, but I wanted to go ahead and start my own thread. 38M with high blood pressure. I’ve always had HBP. Last year I started medication for it finally. Doctor put me on Bystolic 10mg daily and it’s been great! I also take Wellbutrin 300mg daily. It too has been good for my depressive symptoms. Today I went in for my check up. I’ve lost 70 pounds since the new year (276lbs —> 206lbs) and my blood pressure at home has improved dramatically. Where before I was stage 2/severe, I am now elevated with home readings averaging around 120-125 over 79-85. Not *perfect* but in context, a huge win. My workouts and runs see a heart rate reach the 150s, bottom out in the 90s, with healthy drops when exertion is reduced. My resting heart rate is in the mid/low 70s. My heart rate when sleeping bottoms out into the high 40s/low 50s. I decided to discuss some brain fog, difficulty concentrating at work, and other such symptoms I suppose are associated with ADHD. He prescribed me 30mg Vyvanse. I am now sitting here with a bottle of pills ready to go, and frankly I am nervous. The anxiety of elevated heart rate at rest and high blood pressure is really getting to me, to the point where I’m not sure I want to start them. Does anyone have a similar experience like mine? Some words of encouragement or advice? I would really appreciate them. And if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. Edit Update: Hello again, thanks to those who replied to me. This morning I woke up and went about my normal routine. When I got out of the shower, I said screw it and took it, which was about an hour after taking my wellbutrin and bystolic. I ate a banana with it. First couple of hours, nothing happened. I even dozed off on the couch. I run a music venue so when I woke up to head into work around 3:30, I was zooming. The jitters were indeed very real, and yes my heart rate did peak around 115 but subsided quickly. I couldn't guess at what my BP was, it felt elevated but not alarmingly so. The beta blocker was doing real work today. Overall I have felt better, more energy, more focused on the moment and not the moments after... my brain is a loud place, and today it felt more manageable. I guess that's the idea right? Time will tell if this will be something long term, but for now I seem to have found my answers. Thank you. submitted by /u/CleverFeather to r/VyvanseADHD [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/TheDefenseNeverRests to r/aislop [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/alliegator3332 posting in r/Marriage Ongoing as per OOP 2 updates - Long Original - 6th December 2025 Update - 8th December 2025 Update 2 - added after initial posting - 9th December 2025 ​ Gut feeling my (42F) husband (42m) is cheating with a parent in our kids scout troop and can’t focus or think of anything else ​ My (42F) husband (42M) is gone for the weekend chaperoning our kids on a scout outing…and I just can’t focus right now. I have a gut feeling telling me that he is having an affair with another parent (43F) in the troop two of our kids (14M, 12F) are in. We’ve been married for 15 years, together for 17 years and have 3 kids (14M, 12F, 8M). In that time, I’ve never had any feeling that he wasn’t faithful until this week due to a comment from another parent at this month’s parent meeting. I don’t remember exactly how she said it, but the gist of it was that if she didn’t know better, she’d think my husband and this other parent really were married. This isn’t the first time those comments have been made, but it never bothered me when my husband told me about those comments in the past. But those comments were never said in front of me, and it triggered doubt that I just can’t overcome and made me question my trust in my husband. We’ve known this other parent for years since her oldest (also 14M) has been in scouts and other activities with our oldest since they moved to the area about 7 years ago. She is married, but I don’t know how long they’ve been married. We never see her husband at awards nights, band concerts, or other events, and she’s made some comments in the past that make me wonder about how healthy her marriage is. She is also a leader in the troop, and until they joined a mixed-gender troop pilot last year, were pretty much the only active leaders who could take the scouts on campouts and other activities. For anyone who isn’t familiar with scouting rules, a minimum of two-deep adult leadership is required for any meetings or outings, and the other adult leadership in the troop often had conflicts that prevented them from going. So if my husband and this other parent didn’t go, there would be no outing for our kids. There were two years where they were also the only two adults taking 4 scouts to the week-long summer camps. He has also had her contact pinned on his phone because they text frequently. Those text usually seem to be about scouting-related stuff. Our kids and I are also pinned and at the top of his list…so I don’t think he’s prioritizing her over me. There are more active leaders now that they did the mixed-gender pilot, but the other leaders are mostly women. My husband gets along with all of them pretty well, although they are the ones who make comments about them being married. I tried talking to my sister (40F, Married) about this tonight, but she just fed into it. She wanted me to push for an open marriage like her so she could have a wingman. But…we’re completely different people, and I don’t want her lifestyle. Am i overreacting? Or is there something there that I’m not seeing? Update: First, thank you to everyone who has commented so far. I’ve had a night to sleep on this and think about it and some of the comments or questions I received. First, I do plan to talk to my husband about this. He texted me this morning and wants to do a movie date night for the two of us tomorrow night when he gets back. Movie nights usually end with us having sex… So I plan to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, and a few of you gave me some ways to approach the conversation that doesn’t come across as defensive or accusatory. He’s told me about those comments in the past, and it always seemed like a joke. I guess hearing it directly in a way that I didn’t interpret as a joke sent my mind down this path. I’m just not comfortable being direct about it and asking if he’s having an affair. Aside from the scout meetings, he’s home every night. And our kids are with him at the meetings. Second, the parent I’m concerned about isn’t on this weekend’s outing. I’m Facebook friends with her, and she made some posts that confirm she isn’t there. Third, my husband is not trying to keep me away from the troop. He’s been encouraging me to get involved, as have some of the other leaders from the girls troop they merged with for the pilot. Update 2: Ugh…some of you are sick. DMing me and asking about sex life is fine… I’m a little uncomfortable talking about bedroom stuff. But you’re getting way too graphic. I’m not here to get you off. ​ Comments ​ Agile-Wait-7571 If you can’t talk to your husband after three kids and over a decade together your marriage has serious issues. OOP: It’s not that I can’t talk to my husband. I don’t think we’ve ever had communication problems in the past. But I don’t want to ask him in a way that accuses him of cheating because it’s just a gut feeling. I don’t have any proof, and I could create the situation I’m trying to avoid. Following up on my last comment here where I said I wish I could be that direct. I was tired and anxious last night when writing this post and my reply. There is a lot more than just directly asking him if he’s having an affair. I don’t have any proof, just a gut feeling. My mom did something like that to my dad when I was 15. He wasn’t cheating, but that accusation blew up their marriage and led to both of my parents cheating on each other. And I don’t want to end up like my mom or sister. So thats why I can’t be that direct. If I had real proof, it would be different. ​ Update - 2 days later ​ My anxiety was in overdrive on Friday night when I posted that I had a gut feeling that my husband was having an affair. You can read the original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/zaA0RBrhVK Thank you to everyone who left a comment or sent me a private message to talk. I’m especially thankful for the comments from anyone with a scouting background. I had already planned a vacation day for today since I have vacation I have to use up before the end of the year, so I wanted to provide some updates. I wanted to answer a few questions that have popped up on the other thread to add some context. A few people asked why I wasn’t involved in scouting and if there were things going on in my personal life that made me feel this way. I was more involved in scouting when my oldest was a cub scout with my husband, but as my oldest crossed over into Boy Scouts, the time commitment increased. I also don’t drive because I never got my license in high school, so my husband had to pick up the slack on that. He really wants me to be more involved since our troop is now a mixed-gender troop and our daughter also joined. My job also gets in the way of a lot of things. I teach a 4K program in a private childcare center. That’s normally a lot of work, and it’s year-round. My summer is busier because public schools are out and we have more kids. But this year has been harder than normal. We have a new curriculum, a new assessment we have to do on every kid, and the kids are harder because they’re either not prepared for my room or they have behavior challenges. I’m up until well after midnight most nights working on lesson plans or preparing for the next day’s activities. Although he tells me I shouldn’t work so hard if I’m not getting paid for it, my husband is mostly supportive of my job and will run errands for me and bring me coffee or lunch when I need it. Our local library will ask him questions about the books I put on hold for my classroom because he usually picks them up. Some of you DMed me to ask about intimacy. I feel like my needs are being fulfilled. I wasn’t sure if his needs are since his sex drive has gone up over the last few years. He had some health issues and was put on high blood pressure medication about 5 years ago, and he worked hard to get off of them within a year. He lost weight and works out more. After reading through a few other posts on here, I know this will come up. He does not go to a gym. He works out on our treadmill and with some dumbells in our basement. But he has never complained to me about intimacy. He knows about some things in my past and doesn’t push. I’m sure he wants it more, but I’m not spontaneous and it’s hard to find time when you have 3 kids and a job that takes all your time. That said, I am quite pleased with our sex life. My husband was on a weekend scout outing with two of our oldest kids when I made that post, and he didn’t get back until later yesterday afternoon. I had a chance to talk to him and the troop’s scoutmaster yesterday. The scoutmaster called me yesterday afternoon because she had a question about the shirt sizes my kids needed for the new activity shirt they’re ordering, and my husband was out of cell service at that time. During that conversation, I mentioned that the “married couple” comment that was made at the last parent meeting made me uncomfortable. She understood and says she has been trying to stop that. I asked her some questions about my husband and this other parent, and she said that they’re more like brother and sister than a married couple. She says they joke around, but she hasn’t seen anything that looks like flirting between them. They will sit next to each other at meals when the adults eat together, but she doesn’t see anything that makes her think anything is going on. I talked with my husband last night. I approached the conversation by raising my concern about the married couple comments. He understood and said that he didn’t like them either. He knows that I can have some anxiety issues. I asked if I could look through his phone. He allowed me to. I looked at their text history, and I didn’t see anything that would concern me. Their texts were all about scouting, a few book recommendations, a text or two about crowdfunded backpacking or hiking gear, and a text thread about some advice for a car issue she was having last year when her husband wasn’t around. He also let me look through his other apps. His job involved stuff with computers before he got laid off, so he had a few apps like Slack and WhatsApp. He showed me WhatsApp, and the only messages were with people that are his former coworkers. He also had Signal, which was locked with FaceID. He opened it without hesitation, and the only two conversations were with former coworkers who did something with computer security. My husband also showed me his ipad and kindle. I didn’t see anything on his iPad that concerned me. When I looked at his kindle, I learned that he liked reading what he called “cozy romance novels” or “Hallmark movies in book form.” Our date nights usually involve a Hallmark movie or two, and he told me that he had to research books before borrowing them from the library or buying them on Amazon because he’s been surprised by how graphic some of the books get when the summary sounds extremely innocent. After that, I asked him a question that I probably shouldn’t have. But the DMs I received and another reddit post here made me curious. I asked him if he masturbated. He said he did, and he does it in the shower. My husband takes long showers, so that filled in that gap. Then I asked him who he thought about when he did that. He said he mostly thought about me. Sometimes he thought about two musicians/actresses. It feels weird to actually post their names in a thread so I won’t say their names, but one was a late 90’s pop star who is now an actress (and voiced a Disney princess) and the other is a violinist. After a few moments of silence, he also admitted that he had a fantasy about that other parent and had thought of her in the shower. I wasn’t thinking when I asked my next question. It just kind of came out. I asked if he was attracted to her. There were a few more moments of awkward silence before he said he was. But he also said he recognized that attraction and set some hard boundaries for himself. He says he has kept his texts to scouting-related/adjacent topics and books (except for the one where he gave her car advice…that was just a text and he never went over there to help her because he was with me that entire day), doesn’t get into situations where he is alone with her, and just treats her like a friend. The only time he has been to her house is when he was picking her son up for scouting events, and he sat in the car in the driveway while our kids went to the door. He does not meet with her outside of scouting, and when we see them at school band concerts or other school events, we rarely talk with her. He also said that he is more attracted to me than anyone else and that he has made a conscious choice to not act on any feelings besides the feelings he has for me. Since I had asked him about other people, he also asked me if I had been attracted to anyone. I admitted that I think I am attracted to the parent of one of the kids I teach. He knows that I only speak to these parents for like 5 minutes a day in the chaos of drop off and pickup and that I don’t connect with parents on social media until after their kids are out of my class. He didn’t try to make me feel bad about it, and he said he only asked because I had asked that question of him. So that is where we are at. I think I’m feeling insecure about myself because this other parent looks like I used to before I had kids. She’s skinny. She runs marathons and backpacks and shares some interests with my husband. But he’s enthusiastic about spending time with me and meeting all of my needs. And he’s home every night with me and has always had location sharing turned on for me so I can always see his location. Update: I should clarify something here. When I asked the scoutmaster about my husband and this other parent, it was about how those married couple comments got started. She filled in the details about how they interact. But I never told the scoutmaster that I suspected him of cheating. Just that the comments that a 3rd parent made were making me uncomfortable. I told my husband that I had that a conversation about those comments with the Scoutmaster. Update 2: I know the not driving thing is hard. And it’s not fair to my family. Can we please move on from that? ​ Comments ​ Rice-Correct Gonna be honest. It doesn’t sound like he’s cheating. It sounds like you both are honest with each other and have decent communication. An unfortunate byproduct of honesty to direct questions and good communication is that sometimes, you might hear an answer that makes you feel a certain way. That’s what happened here. We’re married. Not blind. We see other attractive people. It’s gonna happen. I know my husband finds some celebrities attractive because I’ve asked. This is fine. He’s probably never going to encounter them, and even if he did, I trust him. He’s not a cheater. I wouldn’t want to know, however, if he found one of our mutual acquaintances attractive. I’m not stupid. Some of them are! But I don’t want to hear him say it, so I don’t ask. And I don’t worry about it, because again, I trust him. I think you need to learn to let all of this go. Go ahead and get involved in the scouting if you wish. Trust in the life you’ve built with your husband. He will find other people attractive now and then, as will you. But hot people don’t hold a candle to the one you’ve built a happy home and life with. LittleCats_3 The only 2 things I would have a problem with are him masturbating to thoughts of her (that isn’t holding a hard boundary and is reinforcing sexual thoughts and fantasies about her), and what the other scoutmaster said about how they are always together. Creating healthy boundaries isn’t always sitting next to her for meals when there are other adults around, or having a close relationship where others would even joke about being a “married couple”. BOTH of those two things together is the problem. If he wasn’t attracted to her, and didn’t masturbate to thoughts of her then I wouldn’t have a problem with what the other scoutmaster said. He needs to create greater distance between them. When he asked if you find anyone attractive and you admitted to being attracted to a parent of one of your students isn’t a fair comparison. He needs to imagine it’s a work colleague that you were with and only ate lunch with and still texted (even if innocently), one you fantasized about sexually and masturbated to. No I don’t think he’s cheating, but this is a gray area that he needs to be careful with. There is a book called Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass that talks about emotional infidelity that you both should read. He’s still creating a closeness with her and then reinforcing those feelings thinking of her sexually. Our brains are powerful and can create intimacy with what we reinforce sexually. OOP: As I said in the last post, the current troop is one formed when Scouting America started a mixed gender pilot last year. My husband and the other parent were two of the most active leaders in the boys troop, and they were often the only two available to take the boys on campouts. So they worked very closely together for almost two years, and according to my husband, the married couple comments started because of how well they worked together. What started this whole thing was when a different parent made a comment about it in front of me. My husband had told me about those comments in the past, but hearing it directly was different. LittleCats_3 Having someone randomly say your husband and a close friend are like a “married couple” is odd, and would have tripped my thoughts in the same way they tripped yours. I did read your first post, but this one really had the pertinent information in my opinion. So I do know that they’ve been close because of forced proximity being the two most involved scoutmasters. This other scoutmaster vs the parent, would have to actually be there to form this opinion about them, so they obviously aren’t always alone together. My opinion is finding others attractive is normal, but we rarely need to create hard boundaries with someone we just find attractive. He felt the need to crate those boundaries, and I wish he had also talked to you about the boundaries and what was going on. He has taken this a step further and is also fantasizing about her sexually and masturbating to thoughts of her, which imo is not a hard boundary. I don’t think he needs to stop being a scoutmaster or stop being friendly with this woman, but he should stop eating sitting next to her, and he shouldn’t ever masturbate to thoughts of her again. Most importantly he needs to start talking to you about these things. Sub-UrbanMom IMO I think the only 'yellow' flag is that ya'll rarely interact with her at school events - in other words 'when you are present'. If they are good friends there should be no reason to avoid each other. Not saying your husband is guilty but there might be some feelings on her part towards your husband that she avoids you. In other words: your husband sounds trustworthy, she does not. Tell your husband you trust him, but not her. He can be more careful when he interacts with her. OOP: she also seems distant at troop awards nights and parent meetings when I’m present too. she’ll sit on the opposite side of the room crazylady1260 That’s a huge red flag from both of them….yikes. He needs to separate from her at the troop things in respect for you…that’s emotional cheating especially if he’s mast. To her… OOP: I hadn’t really thought about her distance at other events until I heard this comment about them being like a married couple. ​ Update added after initial posting ​ I think this will be my last update on this post for a while. I really need to take a Reddit break. Some of your comments on my last update hit me very hard. The numbness and shock of my husband’s admission of having fantasies about another woman, a parent and co-leader in our kid’s scout troop, are starting to wear off. Now I’m just angry. I’m angry at my husband. On one hand, I wish he hadn’t admitted to having a fantasy involving that woman. I believe him when he says he didn’t act on his attraction because he didn’t do anything physical with her. And I believe that he tried to limit contact and the situations where they were together, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t envy the situation he was in when he was the only other adult to take the troop on outings. If he had pulled back, the scouts would have suffered at the time because they were the only two leaders. Even if it was just a situation in his head that he played out in our shower by himself, it feels like cheating to me. It doesn’t matter if he thought about her one time or 100 times, or what the fantasy was, he still cheated on me. I don’t care that it wasn’t a physical relationship. He was the one person that I felt safe enough to be intimate, and he put a ton of cracks into the trust. I’m mad because some of you made me feel like it’s my fault this happened. Or that I’m broken and undeserving of my husband. There is a voice in the back of my head that says I should just crack my marriage open just a little bit and give permission for him to have an affair just with this woman, but only if they are discrete. Apparently I can’t meet his needs because he masturbates in the shower. I’m pissed that the thought is even there, taunting me in my sister’s voice. But most of all, I’m mad at myself. Mad for not seeing the signs that stronger boundaries were needed. Or for getting involved sooner. I’m mad that my anxiety has pushed me into repeating the mistakes that my parents made. I’m mad that, in my vulnerability, I almost started my own emotional affair. Someone DMed me after my first post and opened up about their affair. Not only did I overshare with that person, who made me feel like I was safe, they asked questions that planted seeds about having own affair. They asked about the parent I was attracted to and if I would consider an affair with them, or if I fantasized about them. There are some things that happened to me around my parents’ divorce that make intimacy very hard, including masturbation. But I found myself fantasizing about that parent after my husband’s admission and trying some things that I have never tried before. I even crossed my own boundary about connecting with that parent on Facebook when I have their kid in my class. I’m mad about my vulnerability and that I may have started to make the same mistakes as my husband. I told my husband that I need space and time to process all of this. I told him he needs to step back from scouting for now. He can remain a registered leader so he doesn’t have to do another background check later, but he has to take a break and let others pick up the load. And you all made it clear that I need a therapist. So I’m starting my search for one. And a marriage counselor and a copy of that Shirley Glass book. ​ Comments ​ Jekawi Im confused. You had a good, open conversation with your husband about the situation. Out came some brutal honesty, but also open honesty. As requested. In return you...decided to plant to first seeds of an affair? What??? Your actions make no sense?? To be insecure about his confession is normal and I totally understand but then your actions towards your "crush"?? Wtf lady get a hold of yourself, why are you trying to implode your life/marriage?? Admirable-Guest-2560 This is what she wants. MattFromWork self sabotage beeswhax I don’t understand the belief that your spouse fantasizing about someone else is cheating. As a woman this just seems like normal behavior for anyone. The expectations may be too high. OP I responded positively to your last post and replied back thanking me. I think you have taken a wrong turn here. This is one of those things where you can get way off the rails, ruin a lovely marriage and family and then late in life look back and realize how minimal it was. Zoom out. If he died tomorrow what do you think your perspective would be on this? ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

Wrote this review for the shower head I just received and installed. I was not prepared for what I just experienced. Never written an Illiad review before, but felt like this one is merited (even if very likely to get rejected, despite my otherwise "excellent" insightfulness score). Enjoy lol. .... [Begin Scene] Holy... I don't know if I'm emotionally prepared to tell you my sordid shower head tale yet, but feel it is my obligation to volunteer for tribute and give fair warning to my other intrepid bath reno travelers. Before it's too late for you too. TL/DR: If you want the world's strongest shower head, this is it!! Full stop. Period. Though highly HIGHLY suggest you read on to be properly forewarned. Or at least laugh at my pain. Either one. Let's begin... So I'm the proud owner of a 1974 tear down named Sherry that's built like a German farmer's wife/WWII tank. Might not be winning beauty contests just yet, but she's built to withstand a beating. I also rescue Belgian Malinois dogs (aka the 50% rubber, 50% meth SWAT breed with razor fangs) that I snuggle like the sweet sweet widdle velociraptor babies they are. Enter this shower head - Sherry has seen some things, and I'm shaking in my soaking wet boots. Pros: This shower head is well made, comes with everything but the wrench needed to install (Teflon tape, washers, instructions, extra filter, hose, and bracket all included). Install was truly a delightful breeze. Honestly the hardest part about anything here is bringing Sherry up to this century before swapping fans, fixtures, and the like. So I blame the minimal dribble at the mount on Sherry and her 50 year old OG parts, not this shower head. Install was incredibly easy esp given detailed and visual instructions included. Maybe too easy and I was lulled into a false sense of confidence before my sudden hostage encounter... All was well testing the various 9 sprays/speeds. Until it wasn't... Then it was like Chris Farley leapt from the grave to be the high strung hero no one wanted ala Tommy Boy or other literal speedball gaft. I almost drowned standing up, my life flashed before my eyes (and I felt fear not even the likes of two Belgian malinoises WWEing to the death or casually jumping from 20 ft in the air can induce). It all happened too quickly for me to grasp the true errors of my ways, but suffice it to say, thought I suddenly had my actual power washer inside and Sherry was being violated. In ways neither of us can ever unknow. That far right jet in the product pics for cleaning and washing pets? Omg no. Noooo Jessica No. Jessica can't swim (video is gold if you don't know what I'm talking about). But in that moment Sherry and I were Jessica and needed three life guards to save us. Unless you're a monster and would actually power wash your pets, please, for the love of all that is Holy, stay away from that 9th setting/circle of Hell. It's honestly hard to see the flowerbud I put in the back of the tub as an example in my video, but if you love your babies and pets, imagine that flowerbud is their face instead. Just say no to water boarding and on land drownings. If you're a lady that likes to ahem wash very thoroughly, and can't find a shower head strong enough for your primal urges? I promise you won't find one stronger! What I can't promise is whether any bits would be sheared off in the process. Can't say from personal experience. I may rescue razor fanged SWAT dogs for funsies, but I ain't stupid. I know when to fear for my life and limbs (and bits). I'm not risking my lady parts for the shower head equivalent of a mali fur missile. If you do try it and survive, please provide updates for the class so I can give you lady of literal steel award. But also bc I'll have follow up questions... For everyone else? Great showerhead, just don't use the 9th circle of hell jet spray unless you want to meet God and the Devil at the same time. P.S. Sorry my pics are all soaked (that's obviously not how they arrived) but I'm not ready just yet to go back into that crime scene for glamour shots. Highly recommend (besides 9th option Predator jet). Great value and price for an exceptional product! And scene. 😅😅😅 submitted by /u/NectarineLeading387 to r/AmazonVine [link] [comments]

I spent some time digging through Amazon listings, reading hundreds of real user reviews, watching demo videos, and skimming expert test sites to put together this comparison chart of popular shower heads. The goal was to figure out which ones actually perform well in daily use not just the ones with flashy marketing or pretty photos. This list is based on: User reviews that mention long-term use and water pressure Reddit discussions from subs like r/HomeImprovement and r/BuyItForLife YouTube demos showing spray patterns and actual performance Testing insights from review websites The chart compares key features like pressure, filtration, spray settings, ease of installation, and materials. I’ve included both pros and drawbacks so you can quickly decide what fits your needs whether you're dealing with low water pressure, hard water, or just want a better shower experience. If you’ve tried any of these models or have a strong opinion about what doesn’t belong on this list, feel free to drop your take below. Shower Head Price Type Flow Rate (GPM) Spray Settings Filtration Material Installation Notable Features/Drawbacks Veken Wide Rain Shower Head $49.98 Combo (Fixed + Handheld) 2.5 Multiple (Handheld) None Plastic (Chrome finish) Tool-free, easy Wide 12" coverage, strong pressure; eco mode weak, plastic components. AquaHomeGroup Luxury Filtered $50.95 Combo 2.5 20 Yes (Chlorine, metals) Plastic Easy, includes DVD Softens skin/hair, strong pressure; no specific drawbacks noted. Moen Engage Nickel $69.98 Handheld 2.5 6 None Plastic (Metal hose) Easy, may need pliers Magnetic docking, reliable pressure; plastic bracket durability concerns. KOHLER Forte 1.75 GPM $82.82 Fixed 1.75 3 None Plastic (Chrome) Easy, no arm included Water-saving, durable; massage mode weak, no arm/flange. The Jolie Filtered $150.12 Fixed 1.8 1 Yes (KDF-55, Calcium Sulfite) Plastic Tool-free Reduces irritation, meets NSF/ANSI 177; expensive, single spray mode. CircleSplash High Pressure $40.99 Fixed 2.5 1 None Plastic (Brass joint) Tool-free, includes tape High pressure, easy maintenance; no spray variety, may not comply in CA/NY. BOZYBO High Pressure Rain $49.48 Combo 2.5 10 (Handheld) None Plastic Easy, magnetic dock Wide coverage, versatile; heavy, fixed head single mode. Canopy Filtered $150 Fixed 2.5 3 Yes (Carbon, KDF-55, Sulfite) Plastic Easy, quick-release filter Aromatherapy, skin benefits; high filter cost, less effective in very hard water. SparkPod Round Rain $47.85 Fixed 1.8 1 None Plastic Easy, 10 mins Strong pressure, adjustable arm; no spray variety, lightweight feel. HammerHead 3-Spray $66.95 Handheld 2.5 3 None All Metal Easy Durable, long hose; on/off switch placement issue. Moen Velocity Chrome $242.06 Fixed 2.5 2 None Stainless Steel/Brass Easy Strong rain effect, durable; expensive, lever hard to reach if ceiling-mounted. KOHLER Awaken Handshower $56.56 Handheld 1.75 3 None Plastic Easy Water-saving, easy to clean; low pressure, plastic build. DELTA FAUCET 5-Spray $54.22 Fixed 1.75 5 None Plastic (Chrome) Easy Pause mode, versatile; pressure may need restrictor removal, plastic build. High Sierra Classic $44.95 Fixed 1.8-2.0 1 None Metal Easy Water-saving, strong spray; loud, splash may require extra wall protection. Hotel Spa AquaCare 8-mode $35.99 Handheld 1.8 8 None Plastic Tool-free Long hose, cleaning mode; bracket may crack, plastic build. AquaDance 3-Way Rainfall Combo $34.99 Combo 2.5 6 (Both heads) None Plastic Easy, may leak Versatile, dual heads; pressure drops with both heads, leak risk. VivaSpring Filtered FSH25-CB $35.99 Fixed 1.8 1 Yes (KDF-55) Plastic (Metal joint) Easy Water-saving, certified filter; single spray, joint may sag. SR SUN RISE Filtered $29.89 Handheld 1.75 Multiple + Power Wash Yes (KDF, Mineral Stones) Plastic Easy, submitted by

submitted by /u/rebelliousmuse to r/ToiletPaperUSA [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/ThrowRA_GoonerDude who posted to r/relationship_advice Original Post Feb 6th, 2025 I M30 recently married the love of my life F28, and I’m super close with my brother M35. We always imagined our families being close too—until one single lunch ruined everything. So, my wife and I went out to eat with my brother and my SIL F31, who is pregnant and about to give birth to my first nephew. Needless to say, we are all very excited. Mid-meal, my brother—probably feeling sentimental—goes, “Man, I hope the baby turns out like [me]. He was such a cute kid.” Now, a bit about my SIL. She’s usually nice and I like her but she’s definitely Type A and a bit high-maintenance. Without missing a beat, she shuts my brother down: “Nooo, I’d much rather he turns out like you.” A bit of an awkward comment and my brother probably thought so as well, so he goes, “No seriously, we'd be lucky if the kid was like [me]. He was such a nice and cute kid". And then, SIL doubles down: “No, but you’re so much more handsome,” before turning to look directly at me and adding: “No offense.” Now, look. I wasn’t deeply offended—my brother is a very good looking guy, so I get it. But who just says that out loud? My wife, who had been quiet up to this point, clearly found it rude. So she jokingly goes, “Well, as long as the baby doesn’t look like [SIL], we should be fine.” I chuckled. My brother laughed. SIL did NOT laugh. She immediately got pissed, glared at my wife, and went, “What the hell does that mean? That’s extremely rude! We’re not close enough for jokes like that.” My wife was taken aback and so was I. My brother tried to say something but she stormed out. My brother followed her, looking about as confused as I felt. Fast forward to today—SIL has officially disinvited my wife from the baby shower/ celebration. My wife says she doesn’t even want to go, which, fair enough. My brother is devastated and really wants me to be there. Now, here’s the thing—my brother adores me. He’s always been my biggest supporter, and he wants me to be a big part of my nephew’s life. He’s having his first child, and this moment is really important to him. I love my brother too and can't see him sad like that. He says both my wife and SIL need to apologize eventually, but we shouldn’t force it right now and give them some time to cool off. He also thinks SIL owes me an apology for what she said—but again, pregnancy hormones or whatever, so he doesn’t want to push it yet. My parents actually side with my wife and think SIL was out of line first. But they also believe I shouldn’t miss such a huge moment in my brother's life, and that we should cut SIL some slack because of her pregnancy. Here’s my issue: I don’t feel right going if my wife isn’t welcome. I want to support her, but I also know this moment means the world to my brother. If I go, my wife might feel abandoned. If I don’t, my brother will be heartbroken. I feel completely stuck. Added Comments commenter What does your wife think ? does she want you to go? me personally, i would ask my husband to go because i wouldn’t want to rob him of that opportunity with his own brother especially if i didn’t even care to attend said baby shower to begin with. It wouldn’t hurt me in the slightest, i d be home drinking wine waiting for the gossip when he is back but that’s me, and she is her so i think you should ask her honestly what she thinks and feels about you going and honor whatever she says because well that’s your person now. OP Knowing my wife, she will definitely say that I should go. But I also feel that deep down she will feel that I didn't stuck up for her while she did stuck up for me. commenter Why does your brother think his wife owes your wife an apology? She said the comment to you, not your wife. OP I think he meant as a general apology to both of us and for escalating the situation. To be fair, I wasn't really offended. I am not insecure about my looks and I am glad that my SIL finds my brother more attractive, that's the way it should be. But what my SIL said did kind of offend my wife and hence, the stupid argument. Update Feb 12th, 2025 TLDR at the bottom. Thanks, everyone, for the replies! I think I read almost every single one. I really appreciated the different perspectives. First, some clarifications: My wife is NOT a mean person. She made a joke in the moment, although I admit that it wasn't a great joke given the sensitivity of the situation. But she’s genuinely one of the kindest, most caring people I know. That’s one of the reasons I love her so much. I don’t think my brother did anything wrong by bringing up the topic. We were reminiscing about childhood, and he probably got nostalgic about having his little brother following him everywhere. My brother and I resemble each other quite a bit, though he’s definitely the better-looking one (funny how that works). And just to be clear, that doesn’t mean I’m insecure. If anything, he’s the outlier—he’s one of those people who naturally turns heads. Even when we were younger, he’d get random girls hitting on him wherever he went. It was such a running joke in our family that even my parents would tease him about it. The entire conversation lasted less than 5 min and escalated very quickly. I agree with the comments that all of us should have handled the situation better. But easier to say that in hindsight. In real time, things just got out of hand very quickly. I am sure that all of us regret what we said in the moment. Now for the actual update. I told my wife that I wouldn’t go unless she was also invited. She immediately told me that she didn’t want to be the reason I missed it and that I should go if I wanted to. She even said she’d be willing to apologize if my SIL was open to it, but that she wouldn’t attend even if reinvited because she’d feel uncomfortable. I told her I appreciated that, but for me, it was both of us or none of us. Then I called my brother. And this is where I have to give him a lot of credit—because I know he was upset. He had really wanted me there, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. But instead of pushing, he just said: "I get it, man. Don’t worry about it." I know that wasn’t easy for him to say. He had to balance keeping things calm with his wife while also wanting his brother by his side. But he didn’t guilt-trip me, didn’t try to convince me otherwise—he just let me make my choice. He even said, "Don’t worry, we’ll save you guys some food and I'll drop it off later." I offered to help with setup if he needed it, and told him to say I have COVID to avoid awkward questions. He just laughed and said: "Got it! You caught the world's shortest COVID—just long enough for the baby shower but miraculously recovered the next day." Now, here’s where things got a bit more complicated: my mom was NOT happy with him for not sorting this out earlier. She felt like he should have stepped in and made peace before it got to the point where my wife was uninvited. But my parents didn’t say anything directly because they didn’t want to get involved in the drama. I think that really weighed on him. He was already trying to navigate a tough situation, and now he had our parents silently judging him too. It put him in an impossible position—trying to be a good husband, a good brother, and a good son all at once. A couple of days passed with no further drama. Then something unexpected happened—my wife got a call from my SIL. At first, my wife panicked, thinking she was about to get yelled at. But instead, they actually had a really good conversation. I overheard bits of it, including my wife saying, "No, you’re gorgeous!" which made me laugh a little. After the call, my wife told me that SIL actually apologized first. She admitted that she’d been feeling really self-conscious about her looks during pregnancy and that my wife’s joke had hit a sore spot. A little later, my brother called me. He told me that he had gently talked to SIL and helped her see that things had gotten out of hand. He also told me that knowing my wife was willing to apologize had made a huge difference. And then, he admitted something: he had wanted to fix things before the baby shower, but he knew his wife was already under a lot of stress. He didn’t want to add more pressure on her while she was in the middle of planning. And honestly? I respect that. My SIL is one of those people who needs everything to be perfect—her look, my brother's look, the house, the decorations, etc. So I can understand the pressure she must have put on herself. And my brother knew that pushing her while she was stressed wouldn’t have helped, so he waited. And after the event, when things calmed down, he quietly stepped in and fixed things. So where do things stand now? Things seem good on the surface. My wife and SIL made peace, and my brother and I are fine. My wife and I have decided to just be extra sensitive around SIL given what she is going through. All in all, the situation seems to have brought us somewhat closer together. The real takeaway: I have an amazing wife, but her humor could use some work! Also, my brother ain't too bad. Sidenote: Speaking of whom, my brother will probably never see this because he only uses Reddit for sports and news (or so he says), but in the off chance he does, well… guess I’m busted. But since I have your attention, I’ll admit something just this once. You are the best bro I could have asked for. That time you helped me for uni, I don't think you know how much it really meant to me. And when I was at a really low point, you stood by me. I don’t think I’ve ever said it, but I’ve always appreciated that. Of course, I won’t ever admit this in person and will forever deny I ever wrote this. TLDR: My SIL uninvited my wife from her baby shower after a joke. My brother wanted me to come anyway, but I refused to go without my wife. It caused some tension, but after a few unexpected conversations, things actually worked out—and I came out of it appreciating my brother even more. I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts. submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/relationship_advice by User ThrowRA_GoonerDude. I'm not the original poster. Status: Concluded Mood: Happy Original February 7, 2025 I M30 recently married the love of my life F28, and I’m super close with my brother M35. We always imagined our families being close too—until one single lunch ruined everything. So, my wife and I went out to eat with my brother and my SIL F31, who is pregnant and about to give birth to my first nephew. Needless to say, we are all very excited. Mid-meal, my brother—probably feeling sentimental—goes, “Man, I hope the baby turns out like [me]. He was such a cute kid.” Now, a bit about my SIL. She’s usually nice and I like her but she’s definitely Type A and a bit high-maintenance. Without missing a beat, she shuts my brother down: “Nooo, I’d much rather he turns out like you.” A bit of an awkward comment and my brother probably thought so as well, so he goes, “No seriously, we'd be lucky if the kid was like [me]. He was such a nice and cute kid". And then, SIL doubles down: “No, but you’re so much more handsome,” before turning to look directly at me and adding: “No offense.” Now, look. I wasn’t deeply offended—my brother is a very good looking guy, so I get it. But who just says that out loud? My wife, who had been quiet up to this point, clearly found it rude. So she jokingly goes, “Well, as long as the baby doesn’t look like [SIL], we should be fine.” I chuckled. My brother laughed. SIL did NOT laugh. She immediately got pissed, glared at my wife, and went, “What the hell does that mean? That’s extremely rude! We’re not close enough for jokes like that.” My wife was taken aback and so was I. My brother tried to say something but she stormed out. My brother followed her, looking about as confused as I felt. Fast forward to today—SIL has officially disinvited my wife from the baby shower/ celebration. My wife says she doesn’t even want to go, which, fair enough. My brother is devastated and really wants me to be there. Now, here’s the thing—my brother adores me. He’s always been my biggest supporter, and he wants me to be a big part of my nephew’s life. He’s having his first child, and this moment is really important to him. I love my brother too and can't see him sad like that. He says both my wife and SIL need to apologize eventually, but we shouldn’t force it right now and give them some time to cool off. He also thinks SIL owes me an apology for what she said—but again, pregnancy hormones or whatever, so he doesn’t want to push it yet. My parents actually side with my wife and think SIL was out of line first. But they also believe I shouldn’t miss such a huge moment in my brother's life, and that we should cut SIL some slack because of her pregnancy. Here’s my issue: I don’t feel right going if my wife isn’t welcome. I want to support her, but I also know this moment means the world to my brother. If I go, my wife might feel abandoned. If I don’t, my brother will be heartbroken. I feel completely stuck. Consensus: People tell OOP to send a gift and stay home. Update February 13, 2025, 6 days later Thanks, everyone, for the replies! I think I read almost every single one. I really appreciated the different perspectives. First, some clarifications: My wife is NOT a mean person. She made a joke in the moment, although I admit that it wasn't a great joke given the sensitivity of the situation. But she’s genuinely one of the kindest, most caring people I know. That’s one of the reasons I love her so much. I don’t think my brother did anything wrong by bringing up the topic. We were reminiscing about childhood, and he probably got nostalgic about having his little brother following him everywhere. My brother and I resemble each other quite a bit, though he’s definitely the better-looking one (funny how that works). And just to be clear, that doesn’t mean I’m insecure. If anything, he’s the outlier—he’s one of those people who naturally turns heads. Even when we were younger, he’d get random girls hitting on him wherever he went. It was such a running joke in our family that even my parents would tease him about it. The entire conversation lasted less than 5 min and escalated very quickly. I agree with the comments that all of us should have handled the situation better. But easier to say that in hindsight. In real time, things just got out of hand very quickly. I am sure that all of us regret what we said in the moment. Now for the actual update. I told my wife that I wouldn’t go unless she was also invited. She immediately told me that she didn’t want to be the reason I missed it and that I should go if I wanted to. She even said she’d be willing to apologize if my SIL was open to it, but that she wouldn’t attend even if reinvited because she’d feel uncomfortable. I told her I appreciated that, but for me, it was both of us or none of us. Then I called my brother. And this is where I have to give him a lot of credit—because I know he was upset. He had really wanted me there, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. But instead of pushing, he just said: "I get it, man. Don’t worry about it." I know that wasn’t easy for him to say. He had to balance keeping things calm with his wife while also wanting his brother by his side. But he didn’t guilt-trip me, didn’t try to convince me otherwise—he just let me make my choice. He even said, "Don’t worry, we’ll save you guys some food and I'll drop it off later." I offered to help with setup if he needed it, and told him to say I have COVID to avoid awkward questions. He just laughed and said: "Got it! You caught the world's shortest COVID—just long enough for the baby shower but miraculously recovered the next day." Now, here’s where things got a bit more complicated: my mom was NOT happy with him for not sorting this out earlier. She felt like he should have stepped in and made peace before it got to the point where my wife was uninvited. But my parents didn’t say anything directly because they didn’t want to get involved in the drama. I think that really weighed on him. He was already trying to navigate a tough situation, and now he had our parents silently judging him too. It put him in an impossible position—trying to be a good husband, a good brother, and a good son all at once. A couple of days passed with no further drama. Then something unexpected happened—my wife got a call from my SIL. At first, my wife panicked, thinking she was about to get yelled at. But instead, they actually had a really good conversation. I overheard bits of it, including my wife saying, "No, you’re gorgeous!" which made me laugh a little. After the call, my wife told me that SIL actually apologized first. She admitted that she’d been feeling really self-conscious about her looks during pregnancy and that my wife’s joke had hit a sore spot. A little later, my brother called me. He told me that he had gently talked to SIL and helped her see that things had gotten out of hand. He also told me that knowing my wife was willing to apologize had made a huge difference. And then, he admitted something: he had wanted to fix things before the baby shower, but he knew his wife was already under a lot of stress. He didn’t want to add more pressure on her while she was in the middle of planning. And honestly? I respect that. My SIL is one of those people who needs everything to be perfect—her look, my brother's look, the house, the decorations, etc. So I can understand the pressure she must have put on herself. And my brother knew that pushing her while she was stressed wouldn’t have helped, so he waited. And after the event, when things calmed down, he quietly stepped in and fixed things. So where do things stand now? Things seem good on the surface. My wife and SIL made peace, and my brother and I are fine. My wife and I have decided to just be extra sensitive around SIL given what she is going through. All in all, the situation seems to have brought us somewhat closer together. The real takeaway: I have an amazing wife, but her humor could use some work! Also, my brother ain't too bad. Sidenote: Speaking of whom, my brother will probably never see this because he only uses Reddit for sports and news (or so he says), but in the off chance he does, well… guess I’m busted. But since I have your attention, I’ll admit something just this once. You are the best bro I could have asked for. That time you helped me for uni, I don't think you know how much it really meant to me. And when I was at a really low point, you stood by me. I don’t think I’ve ever said it, but I’ve always appreciated that. Of course, I won’t ever admit this in person and will forever deny I ever wrote this. TLDR: My SIL uninvited my wife from her baby shower after a joke. My brother wanted me to come anyway, but I refused to go without my wife. It caused some tension, but after a few unexpected conversations, things actually worked out—and I came out of it appreciating my brother even more. EDIT: Everyone keeps asking why my wife didn't apologize first. I thought I made it clear in the post but maybe not. My wife was going to apologize but wanted to check if SIL was open to it. She had just been uninvited, so we had no idea whether my SIL was even open to talking to her. I had told my brother that my wife wanted to apologize. And if he had given us the green light, my wife would have absolutely called. Instead, my SIL decided to call once my brother told her that my wife wanted to apologize. That was her being the bigger person. I'm not the original poster. submitted by /u/Schattenspringer to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/christi83 My (26/F) husband (30/M) insisted he was gay while drunk. Original Post - rareddit Aug 20, 2015 My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I'm 26, he's 30. In the 6 years we've been together, I have never had the suspicion that he was gay (assuming he actually is). The only signs I can really think of is that it took him a while to initiate sex (I always thought he was just shy like he said). I still have to initiate sex often because he'll only do it like once a week and sometimes won't even finish himself off. Sex is over once I've finished and we barely have any foreplay before. He always said he was under pressure and work takes a toll on him. I never questioned it, I mean he's a paramedic and I know it's a stressful job. Two days ago, him and I were invited to a friend's get-together. While there, he drinks a lot with the guys and is completely hammered by the time we need to leave. He doesn't drink much normally either. One of his friends had to even come with me so he can help my husband walk from the car to the apartment. When we get inside, he asks me for more whiskey, so I give it to him since he didn't have work the next day. He drinks quite a bit of it. I'm tired so I decide to head off to bed. I go to give him a kiss like usual. As soon as I started bringing my face closer to his, he leaned back so far he almost fell off the chair. He had this really confused/disgusted look on his face and I laughed at first, but then when I went to kiss him on his cheek, He pushed my face away. Then he looked at me really shocked and said "no I'm gay!". So I backed off and went to bed. I couldn't sleep all night. After 6 years together, why would he say that now? But now that I think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if he was. The next day, we were having breakfast and he was extremely hungover. I start telling him how drunk he was last night and he just laughs. Then I told him about what he did/said and he look straight up at me really worried. I must have looked really upset because right after he said "everyone says stupid things when they're drunk, forget about it". Then he walked off saying he needs a shower. He's been a little distant ever since. Maybe I'm reading into this too much, I dont know. It's bothering me a lot and for some reason, I feel very hurt. I'd appreciate some help tl;dr: Husband becomes drunk, tells me he's gay. I confront him the next day, and he becomes distant. RELEVANT COMMENTS When told to check his web history I never find anything in his history. No porn in general. About a year ago though, I suggested watching porn together and then having sex. 30 seconds hadnt even passed through the video when he said he didn't like it and we should just get straight to it. Ever since then, I didn't bring up porn again. Hereibe ...was it straight porn? OOP yes, we watched straight porn Hereibe If he's gay, he wouldn't enjoy it. [Edit: by "it" I mean straight porn, not porn in general] Does he watch porn on his own? Do you know what kind, or does he hide it? It could be that it was the kind of porn that was a turn off, not porn in general. With straight porn, he wouldn't even have the benefit of having an emotional connection like he does with you to keep him going. (This is assuming he really is gay.) OOP I tried looking at his history, but there's nothing there. No gay porn or porn in general. He's not very "emotionally connected" during sex with me either though. He just wants to get it done and I always thought it was because he was tired ~ C4_Lasty Does he come from a very religious background? OOP Sort of. His parents are pretty religious and he went to a private Catholic high school, but as far as I can tell, he doesnt seem to be religious. C4_Lasty Heh I went to a private catholic highschool too but I'm Jewish. Very possible that he's gay and repressing it due to the fear of how his family will react. Couples therapy at a minimum. ~ Knucklefunger If he is in fact gay, it can be awfully difficult to come to terms with at this stage of his life. Don't kid yourself, he loves you. It does sound like he has been trying to convince himself he is straight, or deny he is gay. It does happen, however it has no reflection on you. You didn't make him straight or gay. He is who he is. Imagine how embarrassing it was for him blurting it out? You two need to talk. I have two friends that came out after being married and having fathered children. Does it hurt? Sure. He may not be exactly the man you know and love. Talk. And more importantly, listen. OOP He won't talk to me though. He's been giving me the silent treatment. I think i might have pushed him too much Update - rareddit Aug 22, 2015 (2 days later) Ever since I confronted him about what he said while drunk, he had been ignoring me and giving me one word answers all day and today. He's been looking extremely tired, worn out, sad, and stressed. I didn't want to push him to talk to me about it because I thought it would make him explode. But it's been eating at me ever since and I couldn't control myself and I burst out crying while he was getting ready for bed. I told him I needed answers because I didn't want our relationship to be like this. He was really hesitant to talk to me, and tried leaving it at "you dont need to cry, it's okay". But then I asked him if he was attracted to me and he gave me a look of pity without giving an answer. Then I asked him about women in general and he gave me the same look. It turns out you guys were right. He's gay, said he was meaning to tell me some time soon. He said he drove himself crazy thinking about it and finding the right way to tell me that it came out while drunk instead. He said when we first started dating, he thought he was bisexual so he went on with it. Then he slowly came to realize he was gay but dug himself into a much deeper hole by then. He said he was diagnosed with major depression and was prescribed anti-depressants but he couldnt take them because the side effects interfered with work. He also assured me he's never cheated on me, flirted with other guys, or been to any gay bars or clubs and said he had no intention to. I do believe him though, because I know he's not that kind of person, but also because his daily routines are the same- work, gym(which is in our apartment), and then straight home. He barely uses his phone for any other purpose but calls, it doesnt have a passcode on it either and he leaves it laying around everywhere. For some odd reason, I don't feel as angry and upset as I thought i would now that I know whats been going on. But I feel like I'm handling this too well and might break down sooner or later. He said the only way he can be fair to me at this point is if we get a divorce. So we agreed on that. He said he'd tell his friends, his family and my family exactly what happened so nothing's left in the dark. I guess it all makes sense now. When I first met him he was a really happy/spirited person and when I look at him now it's completely gone. Thanks for the advice, it really helped prepare me for what went down today and I appreciate it. Now, any tips on moving on would also be of help tl;dr: Yes, he's gay. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Okay, so technically this was on Monday but definitely one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in my life. So for context, I absolutely love really strong, dark coffee. There’s a running joke amongst my friends that I drink “jet fuel” because I brew it so heavy. For whatever reason that strong flavor psychologically gives me kind of a dopamine rush and wakes me up before the caffeine hits. Anyways, on Monday, I had a really important client meeting and my boss had flown into town for said meeting. So, I had to meet her at her hotel pretty early in the morning and it was across town. So I had to get up way earlier than usual and was not having it that morning. Since I was not handling waking up early and kind of in a rush I hurriedly made my coffee and made it strong. At the store, I had come across this coffee called “Death Wish” which was coined as “the world’s strongest coffee” at one point so I cracked it open, gave the filter a heavy fill, and scurried away to do other morning tasks. I was really excited to try it. In my mind, “strong” was synonymous with the actual taste, not the caffeine content. For context, the company doesn’t release the actual caffeine content but tests show a 12oz cup ranges from 300 up to 750 milligrams depending on how you brew it. Judging by my not-so-light brewing habits, I’m sure that number was far closer to the 750. As I’m going about my morning, I’m hammering it down pretty quickly. Slightly disappointed, it was “strong” but not what I was expecting out of “world’s strongest” but hey, whatever, it works. After the first few sips, I look at the clock and realize I’m running out of time. So I say “fuck it” and just take my coffee with me to the shower where I can finish it off. A few minutes into my shower while I’m lathering up and jamming out to Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift, you know, as us dudes who are married to Swifties do, I start absolutely BUZZING. At first it was just kind of like that little tremble and I’m just like “huh!” And cracked it up to drinking coffee on an empty stomach. Over the next few minutes that feeling gradually increased, and I had the full-on shakes and felt hot. At this point I put two and two together. Strong=caffeine content. Oopsies! A little concerned, I hop out of the shower grabbed my phone, and googled the amount of caffeine and saw that 750 number and was like OH FUCK. This sent me into a full on caffeine-induced panic attack. First panic attack of my life. My legs gave out from the shakes and my heart was pounding while I laid on the fetal position on the ground trying to chill myself out. I thought I was having an actual heart attack. At the time, there was a little bit of irony in my mind that as a guy in my late 20s who powerlifts and works out 5 days a week, my cause of death would be via heart attack caused by being a dumbass and more or less shotgunning 750mg of caffeine. Not the way I thought I’d go, but I accepted my fate in that moment. I called for my wife who was extremely confused, very concerned, and her being frantic about me being frantic made me feel worse. But when I explained it she calmed down, realized I probably wasn’t dying and just said “ohhhh yeah. That’ll do it.” And just laid on the floor, pet me like our dogs, and handed me her water off of the sink counter. Then, the farts happened. In my panic attack I started aggressively farting uncontrollably. Not just regular farts or squeakers, but full-blown ground-shaking ass rippers every 5-10 seconds. Quite impressive and in rapid succession. My wife started dying laughing and just patted me on the head and started saying shit like “there, there, that’s it, honey. Just fart it out! You’ll be fine!”. So I’m glad she got some enjoyment out of it because I was not having a great time laying there buck-ass naked and still wet on the bathroom floor in the fetal position farting uncontrollably and shaking haha. After about 15 minutes I chilled out a little bit and realized I was okay-ish and my wife kept an eye on my heart rate and stuff just to make sure I wasn’t actually having a heart attack. For the rest of the day I was WIRED and definitely a little traumatized but now I think it’s funny. Ended up missing the meeting and my boss was a little pissed she flew down here. But hey, shit happens. Sometimes we’re dumbasses, and drink way too much caffeine. My question is… who in the actual fuck wants that much caffeine at once?? TLDR: I misunderstood “world’s strongest coffee” as pertaining to the actual flavor of the coffee as opposed to having 750mg of caffeine. I shotgunned it down way too quickly, and hade a full-on caffeine-induced panic attack followed by a fart-attack and missed an extremely important meeting as a result. 9/2 UPDATE: I consulted with my doctor casually to make sure this wasn’t anything to be worried about on Friday and gave him a list of the supplements I take. Turns out, one of the supplements I take OTC is a high dosage of for muscle pumps (nitric oxide boosters) before workouts. It’s meant to expand your blood vessels and increase blood flow. It’s “normal” dosage is a major component within blood pressure medications, used for certain diabetics, and most notably in comparable doses… ED medications are like 33% nitric oxide apparently (which.. can confirm, NO 100% helps “firm” things up beyond muscles during workouts if you want a cheat code fellas😂). But, a side effect of expanded vessels from this is sensitivity to substances within 24hours of use and specifically caffeine and alcohol… especially in “high” intake situations and can be dangerous. Explains a lot lol So.. any of my workout folks who take NO, arginine, beet root, or ED medication this is apparently a side effect of that lol submitted by /u/Cweev10 to r/tifu [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Parking_Breadfruit80 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRU [New Update]: AITA for refusing to have my dad in my life after he chose his new family? Editor’s Note: changed letters to names for readability, originally used Logan, but now switched to Luke based on OOP’s latest update. Editor’s Note 2: Also have removed some older relevant comments as they have been covered in the further updates and needing more space to fit all posts here. Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, infidelity, gaslighting, betrayal. vandalism, obsessive behavior RECAP Original Post (rareddit): April 20, 2024 When I was 13 my dad had an affair and left my mom and moved in with his affair partner who ill call Jane. At first me and my sister would visit every weekend and I will admit he was a good dad although I never liked Jane. When Jane got pregnant and had their son our visits became less frequent and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my my recitals or my sisters competitions because he was busy with his son. When I was 16. Jane decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. Me and my sister begged him not to leave us bit he just said "I need to prioritise my family". He moved 10 hours away. That pretty much ended our relationship and I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family. My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister but I refused. When he came back to see my sister I would refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduation. I'm now 33 and have remained no contact with him, he has over the years repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended including my sisters wedding and baby showers. My dad and his family moved back to our home town 3 months ago and he has been relentless trying to reconcile. I have received messages from my half brother and sister wanting a relationship saying he's a great dad. My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me and has even tried to speak to my fiancé. Jane messaged me saying I have broke my dads heart repeatedly and I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing but a home wrecking whore and then blocked her. Everyone seems to be wanting me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in the town. Whenever I see him I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in contact but I pushed him away. Everyone is pressuring me my mom, sister. Grandparents aunts and uncles, even some of my friends. My fiancé has even started saying I'm the AH for shutting him out. Its all starting to get to me so am I aita? Edit: Thank you for your comments I haven't got through all of them but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane. I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiancé as most of you pointed out he should have my back. If he continues to defend my dad then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding but need to sort this out sooner than later. For information I own a local business moving away is not an option I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and he is friends with a lot of people including my fiancé family. My dad did not come back for me - he came back because Jane’s parents need help and care. He has not financially supported me since I was 17 he withheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him so I had to work and get loans. I've avoided events because my family use it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and makes scenes - hell come up to me talking as if nothing has happened try to hug me or starts crying. I cant simply cut everyone off - everyone is on his side and against me including my own mother. Edit 2 To give you all a bit more context when he left my mom for Jane he only wanted us on the weekend my mom offered him 50/50 but refused. I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done- my sister was too young to understand and was more accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's I felt uncomfortable and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things but my dad always took her side. My dad and me used to have daddy daughter date at least once every 2 weeks. Jane put a stop to that. When she had my half brother we went from going every weekend to once every 6 weeks. My dad was MIA and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me. When they moved I was so upset he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody just for us to visit him every now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance so all of his focus was on his new family When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him everything blew up Jane called me some terrible names and so did my dad and he refused to give me my college fund unless I started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family. I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family. I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil but he pushes things and makes it impossible Edit 3 Have spoken to my fiancé. Update will be posted shortly AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA OOP on staying away from the father and his family and blocking Jane OOP: I've tried my best to stay away from him and his family but with it being a small town its impossible to avoid them. Some of the times I've bumped into him seemed a bit too coincidental and feel like it was a set up. I have blocked Jane can't stand the woman she was always mean to me even when I was a child because I was standoffish. My sister is 5 years younger and was more accepting of her so my sister and Jane have a good relationship.   Update #1 (rareddit): April 20, 2024 (10 hours later) Thank you for all of the comments although most seem to be NTA some were YTA. Some of you gave helpful suggestions which I am planning to take on board. I have just spoken to my fiancé and unfortunately it has not gone well but at this point in time I've had enough and want to runaway and never come back. My fiancé knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that him siding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me and as my fiancé he should be supporting me. My fiancé who I'll call Luke told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong. Luke told me that he had spoke to my father and had an understanding of both sides of the story and believes that if we both sit down and talk we can sort this out and reconcile. I told Luke I don't want this and want no contact and asked why he is even speaking to my father. Luke admitted his father who is friends with my dad encouraged Luke to speak to him and hear him out. Luke told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me (I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private). Luke said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young. Luke stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship. He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem. Needless to say I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me. Luke claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be "a heartless bitch". After he said this I stood up told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out. I'm currently sat in my car. My phone is blowing up with Luke trying to contact me but I don’t want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone I dont understand what is happening.   Update #2 (rareddit): April 21, 2024 Hi everyone thanks for the comments and letting me sound off on you as I desperately need an outside perspective. I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family and leave town. That is not an option for me financially and I would not be able to set up business elsewhere all my money is invested in it and I have only managed to get established recently with steady income, relocating is not an option for me. I love my friends and family and don't want to cut everyone off, I love my hometown I grew up here this is my life and I'm not willing to walk away from it. I didn't expect to write another update this fast but a lot has happened today. So firstly I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try and get him to back off and leave me alone. I asked my mom to arrange it, just him no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that but within 15 minutes of her calling he was at the door. I asked my mom to stay and mediate. To summarize the conversation. These are a bit messed up because it's a lot to remember. Me: * I asked him to give me space and stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me live my life. I told him he stopped being my father when he moved 10 hrs away I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she has said to me over the years. I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me and how he told me he had to prioritise them and how he basically told me I wasn't family He was an AH for withholding my college fund and trying to blackmail me and then spending it on his new family I hate how I have missed major family events because he attended the events and would make them awkward. I don't see his son and daughter as my family and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me he keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look the bad guy he keeps inserting himself into my life going to my fiancé’s family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Luke to his side I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane who stopped our dates, missed my recitals, reduced contact and was more concerned about his son. Him * He loves me and always has he is never going to give up trying to reconnect and he has given me enough space over the years and he is done hearing about my life from 2nd hand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more if it. he loves Jane and and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his 2 kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first. *his kids are innocent and I shouldn't be taking it out on them they just want to know their big sister I was difficult child who was rude and disrespectful to Jane breaking her belongings, calling her names, ruining day trips. when Jane got pregnant she was high risk and me coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out so for her and his sons sake he stopped the weekend visitation. He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out but just didn't let us sleep over. when his son was born he was premature and had health complications which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son. Jane was unable to get a job locally and the opportunity was too good to pass up so they had to move. He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned everyday but I refused to speak or see him. They had flown in for my graduation but I refused to invite him and he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologised for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money but I refused it. He has not spent the money he still has it and I have only to ask and I can have it. he had visited me at my college to try and talk to me but I refused to see him. He is not going to miss family events he makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile but I always end up running way or shouting insults at him and Jane. He has been trying for 16years to reconnect but I shut him down at every turn he just wants to be my dad. He is old friends with my fiancé dad and he hoped my fiancé could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication. he feels I never gave Jane a chance no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him. He wants: My dad is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions. He wants me to spend time with him 1-1 To stop being rude and mean to his children and spend time with them. Stop trash talking Jane to everyone and actually give her a chance Invite for him and my family to my wedding and to walk me down the aisle. I want: Him to stop talking to my friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf Keep Jane away from me completely To be be civil at events or in town providing he does not try and hug me or talk to me. My mom told him he was being unrealistic with some of the things he wants especially regarding Jane and his other children so we have agreed for now. I will attend 3 therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. (my mom thinks I need individual therapy as well) He will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships He will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space and does not approach or pressure me. As for my fiancé - I still havent spoken to him, he turned up at my moms but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone and so does his family and friends telling me to hear him out. During my conversation with my dad I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time ( longer than I thought). Luke told me his family had paid for these and i believed him. I feel betrayed by him and that I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually but I dont feel ready. Relevant Comments OOP on if she can block her father and if she can have an order on him to stay away from her OOP: I wouldn't be able to get a restraining order against him. What am I going to do tell the police my dad is talking to people in the town and my friends about me. He is showing up to parties and events he's invited to. He's trying to talk to me when he bumps into me in town? He is not on my social media , he is blocked on my phone other than events and meeting in town that can be chalked up to coincidence I have nothing to report   Update #3 - April 27, 2024 Firstly I'd like to apologise for taking down my posts. I was really upset and felt under lot of pressure and needed space to think without constant messages. Some of you were trying to be helpful and I apreciate that but some of the abusive messages I received was terrible. I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive to me. This will be my last post and I wont be posting again. Firstly the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him and I will remain no contact. As you are all aware after speaking to my dad and agreeing a way forward and my conditions. Keep Jane away from me Tell his kids to back off Don't pressure me or invade my space It lasted all of 3 days. Everyone seemed happy I had "forgiven" my dad and told me so. My sister was excited I was willing to give him a chance and with some pressure I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad. When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents his son and daughter. He got up and tried to hug me. I immediately became upset asking why they were there. My dad told me that if we have any hope of repairing our relationship I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he just broke our deal and to never contact me again and tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me. When I say all hell broke loose I mean it. I started shouting at them. My Dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down when that didn't work things got very heated and a shouting match started and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half brother walked out of the restaurant and my half sister started to cry. My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining things after all this time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologised to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treat me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then would do this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship. My dad has been trying to contact me but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me but I think he's burned his bridges with them. The incident from the restaurant has spread and some people seem to be backing off. Like I said what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgiveable and they were overheard and this is a small town. Hopefully people will back off and those who won't Im going to have to cut them out. My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me going no contact again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile but right now she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice word with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me again to speak to him. I am going to go to individual therapy I think I definitely need it. I do feel bad about my half siblings as they havnt done anything wrong and am maybe open to having a distanced kind of relationship with them in the future but I'm not ready yet or if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to apologise and tell them they've done nothing wrong. Lastly to update you all - in regards to my fiance well I spoke to him yesterday about everything I had been radio silent since walking out on him. Basically he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sob story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughters life. Luke had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realised my dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events. He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense. Luke admitted my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding but he did not know this until after it was already paid. His father had told Luke that him and his mom had paid. My dad had told Luke it was a gift and his way of contributing. Luke admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf. I told Luke he had betrayed my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologising to me and promising to never do it again. Luke was heartbroken and begged for a 2nd chance. To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue he had been the best partner and I genuinely think that he had been manipulated by his family and my dad. Luke has promised to stand up to his family and go no contact with my dad. I'm still living at my moms as I still need some space which I wont have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week. Luke is begging for a postponement rather than cancel it altogether. We may still break up as actions speak louder than words and I need to see if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him. Relevant Comments OOP on if she is able to change her contact information and what about Luke OOP: There's no point changing my number when I've done this before he always manages to get it again. As for Luke - breaking up is not off the table. I'm giving him a chance to show me he means what he says. I always thought I had a decent relationship with Luke’s family, but clearly not. I'm not asking him to go NC with them thats for him to decide. I'm certainly going to distance myself from them and any further incidents no contact. As for any future children if we are still together I won't be trusting them with my children at all   Update #4: May 4, 2024 Hi everyone I did not plan to make another update at all but I'm still getting messages for an update and thought I would let you know the recent developments. Firstly I have cancelled the wedding I was able to get some partial refunds but have lost some money. Luke begged me not to cancel the wedding but there was no way I could marry him after what he did. I was set on giving him a 2nd chance and he promised me he would go low contact and stand up to his parents and issue an ultimatum that we would not tolerate any contact with my dad and Jane. Basically he would tell them we would not attend any event or party if they were invited and we would not tolerate any attempt to force contact or relationship with my dad. He met with them to explain this to them. When he came back from this meeting he was quite irritable with me and appeared to have had a change of heart to summarize it - he was trying to convince me his family only meant well and that he can't go low contact with his family because he loves them and he can't dictate their friendships. He then tried to convince me it won't be an issue in the future and his father would speak to my dad and tell him to be on his best behaviour in my presence. As soon as I heard this people's comments went through my head and the main one being if we had children he would take them to his family where my dad and Jane would be and I would have no control over this. At that moment I realised I couldn't trust Luke and never would be able to. I broke up with him, he is not taking it well and keeps begging me to take him back and that he would go no contact with his family. His family and friends are trying to convince me on his behalf not to end our relationship. He has made his choice and proven to me he is spineless. I don't need him in my life. In regards to my dad I'm looking into getting a restraining order given what happened in the restaurant I might be able to but i dont know yet a friend of mine is helping me look into this. My dad has kept a low profile since last week apart from a couple of attempts to apologize to me I havnt heard much from him. My sister still won't speak to him or Jane. Unlike me my sister is highly confrontational and has blasted him and Jane on social media with what happened at the restaurant and things that have happened in the past which I didn't know about. My sister and Jane had a very public screaming match when she had seen them in town due to my sisters posts and demanding to take them down it ended up with Jane assaulting my sister. My dad apparently sided with Jane in this. My sister now hates Jane and refuses to speak to our dad who is also trying to contact her. My dad and Jane’s reputation seems to have taken a hit and between the incident in the restaurant and my sisters fight with Jane and het numerous Facebook posts about them, People are gossiping. This has worked well for me because some people have backed off which Im happy about unfortunately there are a few people still on his side including my ex's parents. As for my half siblings there's not much of an update in regards to them. I've found a therapist however there is a bit of a waiting list before I can start my therapy. I'm still living with my mom who is completely on my side and I have found a kitten and pick her up next week.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update #5: May 19, 2024 (2 weeks later) Hi everyone thought I would give you an update as to what's been happening the last couple of weeks for those of you who are still interested. Firstly I'm still at my moms and I got my little kitten. I've named her sascha and she is the sweetest thing but very energetic. For those of you asking for pictures I'll try, but she refuses to stay still long enough to get a one that's not blurred. I love her already. My mom continues to be my rock. IM still waiting for therapy but am finding reddit useful and therapeutic and the support I've received from most of the people on here has been great and helped me see things more clearly so a big thankyou to everyone. As for my ex now that we've broken up I feel lighter and free and being away from him has made me see all the red flags that I was blind to in our relationship and feel like I've dodged a bullet. Luke (using real names because my posts were discovered) is not taking the breakup well and has taken over from my father constantly bothering me. If you read this Luke we are DONE and I'm not changing my mind so stop calling me, stop coming to the house and stop sending me flowers! I'm moving on so you should too. My sister Emma is still firmly on my side and has washed her hands of Jane (stepmonster) and they are not on speaking terms after my sister told everyone about Janes affairs. Jane is still trying to save face saying my sister is lying and telling everyone she can how we are just the worst and that we have treated her terrible over the years and trying to ruin her marriage. Don't think anyone is buying what she is saying. She has sent abusive messages to me and my sister and when we've bumped into her she's been screaming at us and threatening us. My sisters car had been keyed and my store windows were smashed. We can't prove its her unfortunately but she is the most likely culprit. My half siblings are definitely my dads children they tested then years ago when she was a baby. From what I've heard they're not speaking to Jane at all. As for my dad he seems to have grown a spine and has kicked out Jane she is now living with her parents. From what I've heard he's thinking about divorce. I havnt had any contact with my dad except for a text saying he was sorry for everything. As for getting a restraining order I'm more concerned about getting one against Jane at the moment. Relevant Comments OOP on if she has cameras at her place OOP: I have cameras but you can't see if it her because of the angle I'm getting more fitted for better coverage OOP on if she has been speaking to her half siblings (father’s side) and how their relationships are with Jane now that the truth got out. And how the family is reacting OOP: I'm not speaking to my dad or Jane or my half siblings. I've gotten this info from a cousin on my dad's side so not sure if it's true or if there is more to this. + The only people who knew were my grandparents and sister. Unfortunately when Jane and my sister fell out my sister decided to expose her on social media to everyone. My half siblings knew about her recent affair but not the one years ago. As for my dad I don't know and I'm not going to reach out to ask OOP on if she will forgive her father and if he would get a second chance without Jane present OOP: Yep- hes destroyed my relationship, his and janes relationship with Emma and by sounds of it his own relationship. All because he couldn't respect my boundaries No the damage is already done. He had his chance to fix things with me and he blew it. I just want to be left alone and get on with my life   Latest Update here: BoRU #3   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_idkidkidk1 Friend’s sister (20’sF) was openly flirting with my husband (40M) in front of me (31F). I told her off publicly and now they want a public apology from me. What action should I take so that I don’t ruin my friendship? Originally posted to r/relationship_advice Thanks to u/_ThinkerBelle_ for suggesting this BoRU Previous BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, sexual harassment, obsessive behavior, slander Original Post March 12, 2024 I(31F) am close friends with Lisa (33F) we met at college, and became roommates and I love her to death. Lisa has a sister ‘Amy’ (20’s F) whom I’ve met occasionally in college but she was so young at that time we never really hung out. Lisa had a bridal shower in February and I financially contributed to most of it since I wasn’t able to be there in person to help with the planning. I gave money to Amy to pay for everything, the decor, food and alcohol. I even paid for an overnight stay at a hotel for all 7 girls. I did all of this because I couldn’t make it to her bachelorette party the week before, I had also paid for the limo Amy wanted to host the party in. At the shower I saw Amy and she was gushing about how I had spent a lot of money on Lisa. I just said if it’s for Lisa I would have paid for anything. Amy was hinting that my job was paying so much money for me to spend on Lisa this much. I’m a new surgeon just graduated from residency, i got a pay bump but not a lot. I’m lucky because my husband is supporting me while I go through fellowship. My husband (40M) is a doctor too but so much more advanced in his career than me. For my wedding gift he paid off the remainder of my student loans. He is amazing and I am obsessed with him. Wedding happened in March, my husband and I came for the wedding. Family and close friends were invited to Lisa’s parent’s place for dinner after. Amy was very handsy with my husband even during the wedding she was asking him about his job how smart he was to be working in the ICU how hot he was how he looks like a young Alain Delon bla bla. My husband was giving me signals to come to him and I did. This happened at least 2 more times. At Lisa’s parent’s, Amy was wrapping her arm around my husbands back and was serving him drinks and food. I told Lisa’s mom about how Amy’s making me and my husband very uncomfortable and her mom pulled her aside and told her off i think because she came out grumpy. She was still acting like a crazed teenager because when we wanted to leave she wouldn’t give my husband his jacket back to him and kept sniffing it. I had a feeling that she was drunk and completely out of it. My husband raised his voice and told her to stop messing around and give it to him. I yelled “can you stop being so difficult you’ve been shamelessly flirting with my husband in front of me the whole day give me the damn jacket and leave us alone”. I got a text from Lisa’s mom demanding I publicly apologize to Amy as in post on social media a heartfelt apology because some of the guests heard me yell at her and thought I was overreacting and humiliated her. Lisa is on my side and told me Amy has always had gold digging tendencies and that this isn’t the first time she’d done something like this. She flirted with her friend’s dad and their next door neighbour who is married when she thought that they were wealthy. Lisa said that she’ll handle it. I already felt so bad I ruined the last moments of her wedding day and now she has to deal with this. I’m ruminating on this a lot lately and wondering if I should apologize to Amy. I don’t want to but then again if I did, I would explain exactly what happened and how it merited my reaction to her. Though this might add fuel to the fire. There is so much drama right now and I want to preserve my friendship with Lisa. TLDR: friend’s sister flirting with my husband, i ‘embarrassed’ her and now she wants a public apology. I’m thinking of doing it but detailing exactly what happened and might paint her in a bad light. But all this drama could cost my friendship with my friend. RELEVANT COMMENTS jamicam Are the guests at the wedding also your Facebook friends? I don't understand how a public apology on social media would work in this case... I mean, I imagine the guests include aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc., of the family. Are they really going to see your FB apology? OOP Her mom wants me to tag her and Lisa so that their family can see it. I don’t even use facebook anymore but her family are still active on it. jamicam If you don't use FB then there's your answer. Lisa said she'll handle it. I'd let this alone. Update March 18, 2024 Keeping it as short as I can and typos galore cuz I’m oncall. Previous post got so popular that Amy’s mom found it and texted me to take down (in all caps). I got around to read most of the comments a day after I posted when I finished my shift. I didn’t not apologize to anyone or did anything at all frankly I forgot about it since I had people close to dying on me left and right at work. I gaslit Amy’s mom into thinking that I never did such a thing and that I did not have a Reddit account (she believed it I think since she didn’t text me back, cmon the details I put in that post were exactly what she experienced and she didn’t find it odd?). For clarification: One of you said I had a spine of a jellyfish (loved that comment) and not apologizing was the right thing to do. I was hesitant and was actually considering giving that apology because of the fact that she fed me and let me stay in her home during thanksgiving and Christmas many years ago when I couldn’t go home to my family. I’m the kind of person who’ll remember every good thing you do for me and do my best to reciprocate or get even so as to not be indebted to you. Idk what kind of mental illness is that, I never retained much of the psychiatric info from medschool. A lot of people insinuated that me being docile and restrained in those kinds of situations makes me a bad surgeon to which i say i beg your effing pardon. Would you want someone who’s operating on you have a criminal record for causing bodily harm/homicide? Also I’ve dealt with worse than Amy I’ve survived handling 19 psychotic patients with TBIs for a whole rotation. Me being aggressive would have gotten me kicked out of my fellowship. Things that have transpired: I tried to avoid contacting Lisa since she went off on her honeymoon but because of the popularity of my previous post I decided to give her a heads up. Lisa was more than apologetic, in fact she facetimed me and we had a very teary conversation about her family. There were a lot more going on that I never knew but mine and my husband’s involvement in her family drama was the last straw. She had decided to go no contact with her mom and sister. She also warned me that Amy might approach my husband in some way but no idea how. She’s also getting her extended family involved about Amy. My husband does not have any social media (so hot) and he did not give out his number to anyone at all during the wedding. He is anal about loyalty and transparency in our marriage. We have access to each other’s electronics. I know he would never cheat on me. 3 days ago someone called my husband’s clinic asking to get his number for an ‘emergency’ and that she needed to get a hold of his wife. The nurse who answered refused to give a physician’s personal number and the conversation got heated. My husband’s colleague, another intensivist, took over and asked her to tell him what the emergency was so that he could tell my husband himself. The person on the phone argued some more and when the doctor wouldn’t give she hung up. That friend told my husband what happened and said the woman didn’t give her name but had a very high pitched child-like voice. My husband immediately knew it was Amy but we have no proof. I know it was her, she must have searched my husband’s name on google and found where he worked since his professional profile is online along with the name of his hospital. I’m getting more and more irritated by this whole thing and have gone full on mama bear mode over my husband. He was furiously annoyed after the wedding and was saying if the genders were switched he would have definitely gotten punched not even halfway through the wedding. My husband had terrible experiences with women before, two women at different times tried to baby trap him, one did some Sherlock level manipulation and one harassed us when we were dating. He is usually a cool and calm guy but now he hasn’t been smiling or joking around with me like he always does ever since the wedding. Anywho, my uncle (our lawyer) was consulted, security at my husband’s dept and around our home have been notified. Thank you guys. PS: Kelly if you’re reading this, do something about your younger daughter before something bad happens. Also you don’t deserve your older daughter. Edit: a Moriarty level manipulation…now that makes more sense not sherlock tf RELEVANT COMMENTS I3ex_G Damn, can your lawyer uncle draft a letter to scare Amy? Just outlining what she is doing is harassment and the outcome if she continues? Sounds like Amy might need mental help and threats of repercussions might force her mother’s hand to getting her help. Is the dad around? I hope other family members will start pressuring Amy to get help OOP Nope, we couldn’t prove it was Amy that called. We just have to wait and see if she does anything. Our only hope is that she stays broke and can’t afford to travel to where we live since it’s far from hers. Her dad’s dead. I hope so too. ~ procrastinating_b Why’s everyone got an uncle lawyer lol OOP I’m half Asian. That uncle is Asian too. That should answer your question Forsaken_Woodpecker1 I’m rolling this response is hilarious 🤣 NEW UPDATE Update 2 - Final Update May 16, 2024 I’ll try and see if I can update on here since I cant update again on relationships advice. Posts are in my profile for now. I’ve got so many dms wanting an update but some (legal things) happened since and I couldn’t tell especially since everyone that was involved knows about this post already. We have the number of the woman who called but it wasn’t Amy’s number (I have her number) but she could’ve gotten another number. At that time, I was almost confident it was her so I got the name of the person the phone number was registered to. We’ll call her Cece Smith. What threw me off was this person had been using that number for 7 years BUT I later found out this woman lived/lives in the area Amy lives. I called Lisa to ask if she knew who Cece is and lo and behold Cece is Amy’s best friend. I told Lisa about the call to the clinic, she went silent, said she had to go and ended the call. The next day (March 21st) Lisa texted me that she had gotten a verbal confession from Amy about the call to my husband’s clinic. Not only that, when everything happened right after the wedding, I had not blocked Amy from my instagram yet. She must have gone through my followers list and found my husband’s family, dm-ed them with ‘evidence’ that I was cheating on him. Wedding was on March 10th, the call was on March 15th, I blocked her March 16th. Some time after March 10th she had found and gotten in contact with my MIL, 2 SILs and my niece who is 13 years old about my ‘infidelity’. There were skeptical thank God and contacted my husband on March 23rd. I swear to god this girl is so stupid i dont get why she would waste her time on doing this and doing it very poorly at that. My SIL sent a screenshot of the chat from “mizz_(Amy’s real name)” to my husband and he wanted to throw his phone to the wall. Lisa sent me the recording of the entire call she had with Amy admitting to everything and some serious threats about what she would do to me. One of which that she was going to report me to my state medical board (no basis whatsoever like I said, she is an idiot, the premium kind). We got in touch with my uncle (yes the lawyer who u guys were so baffled about seriously why is it so surprising that I have an uncle who’s a lawyer his wife is a lawyer and so is their daughter, they are a very righteous family idk what else to say), we sent a C&D letter telling Amy to not contact me, husband and in-laws and I let my chief of surgery and head of my program know about this just in case. March 29th she really reported me to the medical board (it doesn’t have to be doctor-patient related, a doctor could be harassing someone in the grocery store and a witness can report that doctor to the board, THAT is the purpose of creating this avenue to complain) even though they were warned about this, they still had to do the preliminary investigations on me and interview me to hear my side. Major pain in the ass for me especially since I’m 5-months pregnant. The case on me is closed. April 3rd Amy dm-ed my niece again with ‘new evidence’ of my infidelity. My sweet niece ran to her mom who told my husband and me. We got a court ordered restraining order against her now. When all of this happened, Lisa was helping me along the way, the cherry on top was when Lisa had access to Amy’s email and her instagram (she never logged out), posted how she tried to homewreck a marriage and outing Amy online with screen shots and snippets of the phone call. Lisa changed her password and Amy couldn’t log in to delete it. Lisa made this known to her entire family and they are putting pressure on her mom (hi Kelly) to rein her in. I dont know the specifics but they are using the family inheritance or some heirloom as a bargaining chip for her to behave good. The girl has some mental issues for sure would love to give her a lobotomy. I hope to god this is the last of this and Amy stays away from us but I have this gnawing feeling that she’s going to try something again. Lisa is the hero in this honestly, she’ll continue to keep an eye out to see if Amy starts shit again (if she does Lisa’s going to hire a hitman so she says). I dont even know how to TLDR this. Read it or don’t. I hope this is the final update. To the people who don’t believe this happened it did happen but since it’s so unreal, i don’t blame you. Ps- husband and I are going to couples counseling together as per advised in the comments of the prior post. We are doing very well, he’s planning an intimate gender reveal soon for me (he knows the gender since he’s a trained sonographer lol). If there’s any question I’ll be happy to answer. Will delete this account in a few days THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Parking_Breadfruit80 Originally posted to r/AITAH Aita for refusing to have my dad in my life after he chose his new family? Editor’s Note: changed letters to names for readability Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, infidelity, gaslighting, betrayal Original Post (rareddit): April 20, 2024 When I was 13 my dad had an affair and left my mom and moved in with his affair partner who ill call Jane. At first me and my sister would visit every weekend and I will admit he was a good dad although I never liked Jane. When Jane got pregnant and had their son our visits became less frequent and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my my recitals or my sisters competitions because he was busy with his son. When I was 16. Jane decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. Me and my sister begged him not to leave us bit he just said "I need to prioritise my family". He moved 10 hours away. That pretty much ended our relationship and I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family. My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister but I refused. When he came back to see my sister I would refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduation. I'm now 33 and have remained no contact with him, he has over the years repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended including my sisters wedding and baby showers. My dad and his family moved back to our home town 3 months ago and he has been relentless trying to reconcile. I have received messages from my half brother and sister wanting a relationship saying he's a great dad. My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me and has even tried to speak to my fiance. Jane messaged me saying I have broke my dads heart repeatedly and I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing but a home wrecking whore and then blocked her. Everyone seems to be wanting me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in the town. Whenever I see him I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in contact but I pushed him away. Everyone is pressuring me my mom, sister. Grandparents aunts and uncles, even some of my friends. My fiance has even started saying I'm the AH for shutting him out. Its all starting to get to me so am I aita? Edit: Thank you for your comments I haven't got through all of them but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane. I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiance as most of you pointed out he should have my back. If he continues to defend my dad then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding but need to sort this out sooner than later. For information I own a local business moving away is not an option I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and he is friends with a lot of people including my fiance family. My dad did not come back for me - he came back because Jane’s parents need help and care. He has not financially supported me since I was 17 he witheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him so I had to work and get loans. I've avoided events because my family use it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and makes scenes - hell come up to me talking as if nothing has happened try to hug me or starts crying. I cant simply cut everyone off - everyone is on his side and against me including my own mother. Edit 2 To give you all a bit more context when he left my mom for Jane he only wanted us on the weekend my mom offered him 50/50 but refused. I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done- my sister was too young to understand and was more accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's I felt uncomfortable and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things but my dad always took her side. My dad and me used to have daddy daughter date at least once every 2 weeks. Jane put a stop to that. When she had my half brother we went from going every weekend to once every 6 weeks. My dad was MIA and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me. When they moved I was so upset he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody just for us to visit him every now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance so all of his focus was on his new family When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him everything blew up Jane called me some terrible names and so did my dad and he refused to give me my college fund unless i started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family. I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family. I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil but he pushes things and makes it impossible Edit 3 Have spoken to my fiance. Update will be posted shortly AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Zestyclose-Sky-1921: NTA but this is going to be brutal if your fiancé doesn't get on board with your pirate ship. Depending on the size of your hometown and how serious he is about pushing this, you may need to consider moving, especially if everyone around you is involved. OOP: I love my fiance, but he's a family orientated type of guy he's close with his family so doesn't understand my situation. It's not helping that everyone around us is advocating for my dad and making me out to be unreasonable. Corodix: NTA, I'd send them all a clear message that you do not consider him family after he quite clearly told you, when you were 16, that you are not family (are they currently aware of this?). And also make it clear that you will start cutting them out of your life if they do not stop harassing you about this. Perhaps just throw them all in a group chat for this so you can send it once to everybody? Your fiance siding with them instead of respecting your pretty clear boundary is worrying and would make me reconsider the marriage if he doesn't cut it out fast as that's a massive red flag that doesn't bode well for your future with him. OOP: I cant cut every single person from my life and thats the reality I'm facing here. Everyone seems to think I'm the AH and I should just reconnect. This is really getting to me. OOP on staying away from the father and his family and blocking Jane OOP: I've tried my best to stay away from him and his family but with it being a small town its impossible to avoid them. Some of the times I've bumped into him seemed a bit too coincidental and feel like it was a set up. I have blocked Jane can't stand the woman she was always mean to me even when I was a child because I was standoffish. My sister is 5 years younger and was more accepting of her so my sister and Jane have a good relationship.   Update #1 (rareddit): April 20, 2024 (10 hours later) Thank you for all of the comments although most seem to be NTA some were YTA. Some of you gave helpful suggestions which I am planning to take on board. I have just spoken to my fiance and unfortunately it has not gone well but at this point in time I've had enough and want to runaway and never come back. My fiance knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that him siding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me and as my fiance he should be supporting me. My fiance who I'll call Logan told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong. Logan told me that he had spoke to my father and had an understanding of both sides of the story and believes that if we both sit down and talk we can sort this out and reconcile. I told Logan I don't want this and want no contact and asked why he is even speaking to my father. Logan admitted his father who is friends with my dad encouraged Logan to speak to him and hear him out. Logan told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me (I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private). Logan said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young. Logan stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship.He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem. Needless to say I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me. Logan claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be "a heartless bitch". After he said this I stood up told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out. I'm currently sat in my car. My phone is blowing up with Logan trying to contact me but I dont want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone i dont understand what is happening. Relevant Comments HealthfulDrago: Did your fiance have specific arguments? Anything that would shed more light into his line of thinking? It just feels so odd to me that he would just side so heavily with your father. OOP: Basically I was standoffish and mean to Jane on meeting her which put us on the wrong foot. When she has been mean to me I've retaliated and said mean things back to her. That my dad has tried consistently over the years to reconnect with me but I have ignored all attempts. I've upset family members by refusing to attend birthdays, wedding baby showers etc because he was attending. I walked out of his parents party 3 weeks ago because my dad was there. I won't speak and will ignore my half brother 18 and half sister 14 if I see them.   Update #2 (rareddit): April 21, 2024 Hi everyone thanks for the comments and letting me sound off on you as I desperately need an outside perspective. I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family and leave town. That is not an option for me financially and I would not be able to set up business elsewhere all my money is invested in it and I have only managed to get established recently with steady income, relocating is not an option for me. I love my friends and family and don't want to cut everyone off, I love my hometown I grew up here this is my life and I'm not willing to walk away from it. I didn't expect to write another update this fast but a lot has happened today. So firstly I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try and get him to back off and leave me alone. I asked my mom to arrange it, just him no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that but within 15 minutes of her calling he was at the door. I asked my mom to stay and mediate. To summarize the conversation. These are a bit messed up because it's a lot to remember. Me: * I asked him to give me space and stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me live my life. I told him he stopped being my father when he moved 10 hrs away I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she has said to me over the years. I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me and how he told me he had to prioritise them and how he basically told me I wasn't family He was an AH for withholding my college fund and trying to blackmail me and then spending it on his new family I hate how I have missed major family events because he attended the events and would make them awkward. I don't see his son and daughter as my family and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me he keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look the bad guy he keeps inserting himself into my life going to my fiances family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Logan to his side I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane who stopped our dates, missed my recitals, reduced contact and was more concerned about his son. Him He loves me and always has he is never going to give up trying to reconnect and he has given me enough space over the years and he is done hearing about my life from 2nd hand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more if it. he loves Jane and and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his 2 kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first. *his kids are innocent and I shouldn't be taking it out on them they just want to know their big sister I was difficult child who was rude and disrespectful to Jane breaking her belongings, calling her names, ruining day trips. when Jane got pregnant she was high risk and me coming every week and starting arguments was stressing her out so for her and his sons sake he stopped the weekend visitation. He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out but just didn't let us sleep over. when his son was born he was premature and had health complications which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son. Jane was unable to get a job locally and the opportunity was too good to pass up so they had to move. He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned everyday but I refused to speak or see him. They had flown in for my graduation but I refused to invite him amd he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologised for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money but I refused it. He has not spent the money he still has it and I have only to ask and I can have it. he had visited me at my college to try and talk to me but I refused to see him. He is not going to miss family events he makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile but I always end up running way or shouting insults at him and Jane. He has been trying for 16years to reconnect but I shut him down at every turn he just wants to be my dad. He is old friends with my fiance dad and he hoped my fiance could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication. he feels I never gave Jane a chance no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him. He wants: My dad is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions. He wants me to spend time with him 1-1 To stop being rude and mean to his children and spend time with them. Stop trash talking Jane to everyone and actually give her a chance Invite for him and my family to my wedding and to walk me down the aisle. I want: Him to stop talking to my friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf Keep Jane away from me completely To be be civil at events or in town providing he does not try and hug me or talk to me. My mom told him he was being unrealistic with some of the things he wants especially regarding Jane and his other children so we have agreed for now. I will attend 3 therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. (my mom thinks I need individual therapy as well) He will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships He will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space and does not approach or pressure me. As for my fiance - I still havent spoken to him, he turned up at my moms but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone and so does his family and friends telling me to hear him out. During my conversation with my dad I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time ( longer than I thought). Logan told me his family had paid for these and i believed him. I feel betrayed by him and that I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually but I dont feel ready. Relevant Comments OOP on not liking her father’s wife OOP: I'll admit I wasn't very nice to Jane when I met her because she broke up my family, but she was worse than me. She made comments on my weight, and my appearance would push my buttons to start a fight. She stopped my 1-1 time with my dad before she was even pregnant. My dad chose her over me everytime. Yes he tried to stay in contact. Im not going to rewrite history but the damage was done when he moved 10 hrs away from me and told me he needed to prioritise his family. Ok-Nose42: Thank you for update so quick and I’m happy your mom choose to help you get your side of the story out by helping you. I’m crying here reading this thinking it should been your fiance that helped you thru this but under his selfishness he dug himself deeper hole. I say cut your losses with him he never had your back he should have to his own dad she has her own life with her dad and I’m not sway her feeling. But he didn’t cut your loses in fact I tell my dad I want that money take it and then you get to leave the relationship and step yourself up before you remove yourself from the relationship. If you have to lie to do it. Fine you can admit it therapy anyways. Ask forgiveness later even though what you may do taken that money them thinking the money for marriage. Or worse get the cash deposit it walk down alter with dad and tell everyone at alter fuck you. This is taken my life party paid by my dad. But that my evil side lol but if you want move on maybe that not best approach. But I would take the money and use it and dump fiancé. OOP: To be honest my mom seems to have changed her mind today in regards to my fiance when she found out about his involvement with my dad. She told me to really consider if I want to stay with him and if I can trust him and says I can move home for a while. OOP on if she can block her father and if she can have an order on him to stay away from her OOP: I wouldn't be able to get a restraining order against him. What am I going to do tell the police my dad is talking to people in the town and my friends about me. He is showing up to parties and events he's invited to. He's trying to talk to me when he bumps into me in town? He is not on my social media , he is blocked on my phone other than events and meeting in town that can be chalked up to coincidence I have nothing to report   Update #3 - April 27, 2024 Update 3 - aita for not letting my dad back in my life after he chose his new family Firstly I'd like to apologise for taking down my posts. I was really upset and felt under lot of pressure and needed space to think without constant messages. Some of you were trying to be helpful and I apreciate that but some of the abusive messages I received was terrible. I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive to me. This will be my last post and I wont be posting again. Firstly the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him and I will remain no contact. As you are all aware after speaking to my dad and agreeing a way forward and my conditions. Keep Jane away from me Tell his kids to back off Don't pressure me or invade my space It lasted all of 3 days. Everyone seemed happy I had "forgiven" my dad and told me so. My sister was excited I was willing to give him a chance and with some pressure I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad. When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents his son and daughter. He got up and tried to hug me. I immediately became upset asking why they were there. My dad told me that if we have any hope of repairing our relationship I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he just broke our deal and to never contact me again and tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me. When I say all hell broke loose I mean it. I started shouting at them. My Dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down when that didn't work things got very heated and a shouting match started and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half brother walked out of the restaurant and my half sister started to cry. My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining things after all this time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologised to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treat me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then would do this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship. My dad has been trying to contact me but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me but I think he's burned his bridges with them. The incident from the restaurant has spread and some people seem to be backing off. Like I said what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgiveable and they were overheard and this is a small town. Hopefully people will back off and those who won't Im going to have to cut them out. My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me going no contact again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile but right now she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice word with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me again to speak to him. I am going to go to individual therapy I think I definitely need it. I do feel bad about my half siblings as they havnt done anything wrong and am maybe open to having a distanced kind of relationship with them in the future but I'm not ready yet or if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to apologise and tell them they've done nothing wrong. Lastly to update you all - in regards to my fiance well I spoke to him yesterday about everything I had been radio silent since walking out on him. Basically he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sob story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughters life. Logan had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realised my dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events. He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense. Logan admitted my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding but he did not know this until after it was already paid. His father had told Logan that him and his mom had paid. My dad had told Logan it was a gift and his way of contributing. Logan admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf. I told Logan he had betrayed my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologising to me and promising to never do it again.Logan was heartbroken and begged for a 2nd chance. To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue he had been the best partner and I genuinely think that he had been manipulated by his family and my dad. Logan has promised to stand up to his family and go no contact with my dad. I'm still living at my moms as I still need some space which I wont have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week. Logan is begging for a postponement rather than cancel it altogether. We may still break up as actions speak louder than words and I need to see if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him. Relevant Comments OOP on if she is able to change her contact information and what about Logan OOP: There's no point changing my number when I've done this before he always manages to get it again. As for L - breaking up is not off the table. I'm giving him a chance to show me he means what he says. I always thought I had a decent relationship with Ls family, but clearly not. I'm not asking him to go NC with them thats for him to decide. I'm certainly going to distance myself from them and any further incidents no contact. As for any future children if we are still together I won't be trusting them with my children at all Tom_A_F: I vote for cancelling the wedding. Dude's gotta put in some MAJOR work to be husband material. OOP: Sorry, the wedding is getting cancelled if I wasn't clear in my post. L is begging for it to be postponed. I'm going to be contacting the vendors to see what our options are about getting refunds or partial refunds. I can't marry someone I dont trust, and a few months or a year is not going to change that or reassure me.   DISCLAIMER: OOP HAS UPDATED AFTER THE BoRU WAS POSTED SO PER RULES UPDATE IS INCLUDED Update #4 - May 4, 2024 Hi everyone I did not plan to make another update at all but I'm still getting messages for an update and thought I would let you know the recent developments. Firstly I have cancelled the wedding I was able to get some partial refunds but have lost some money. Logan begged me not to cancel the wedding but there was no way I could marry him after what he did. I was set on giving him a 2nd chance and he promised me he would go low contact and stand up to his parents and issue an ultimatum that we would not tolerate any contact with my dad and Jane. Basically he would tell them we would not attend any event or party if they were invited and we would not tolerate any attempt to force contact or relationship with my dad. He met with them to explain this to them. When he came back from this meeting he was quite irritable with me and appeared to have had a change of heart to summarize it - he was trying to convince me his family only meant well and that he can't go low contact with his family because he loves them and he can't dictate their friendships. He then tried to convince me it won't be an issue in the future and his father would speak to my dad and tell him to be on his best behaviour in my presence. As soon as I heard this people's comments went through my head and the main one being if we had children he would take them to his family where my dad and Jane would be and I would have no control over this. At that moment I realised I couldn't trust Logan and never would be able to. I broke up with him, he is not taking it well and keeps begging me to take him back and that he would go no contact with his family. His family and friends are trying to convince me on his behalf not to end our relationship. He has made his choice and proven to me he is spineless. I don't need him in my life. In regards to my dad I'm looking into getting a restraining order given what happened in the restaurant I might be able to but i dont know yet a friend of mine is helping me look into this. My dad has kept a low profile since last week apart from a couple of attempts to apologize to me I havnt heard much from him. My sister still won't speak to him or Jane. Unlike me my sister is highly confrontational and has blasted him and Jane on social media with what happened at the restaurant and things that have happened in the past which I didn't know about. My sister and Jane had a very public screaming match when she had seen them in town due to my sisters posts and demanding to take them down it ended up with Jane assaulting my sister. My dad apparently sided with Jane in this. My sister now hates Jane and refuses to speak to our dad who is also trying to contact her. My dad and Jane’s reputation seems to have taken a hit and between the incident in the restaurant and my sisters fight with Jane and het numerous Facebook posts about them, People are gossiping. This has worked well for me because some people have backed off which Im happy about unfortunately there are a few people still on his side including my ex's parents. As for my half siblings there's not much of an update in regards to them. I've found a therapist however there is a bit of a waiting list before I can start my therapy. I'm still living with my mom who is completely on my side and I have found a kitten and pick her up next week.   Latest Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_idkidkidk1 Friend’s sister (20’sF) was openly flirting with my husband (40M) in front of me (31F). I told her off publicly and now they want a public apology from me. What action should I take so that I don’t ruin my friendship? Originally posted to r/relationship_advice Thanks to u/_ThinkerBelle_ for suggesting this BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, sexual harassment Original Post March 12, 2024 I(31F) am close friends with Lisa (33F) we met at college, and became roommates and I love her to death. Lisa has a sister ‘Amy’ (20’s F) whom I’ve met occasionally in college but she was so young at that time we never really hung out. Lisa had a bridal shower in February and I financially contributed to most of it since I wasn’t able to be there in person to help with the planning. I gave money to Amy to pay for everything, the decor, food and alcohol. I even paid for an overnight stay at a hotel for all 7 girls. I did all of this because I couldn’t make it to her bachelorette party the week before, I had also paid for the limo Amy wanted to host the party in. At the shower I saw Amy and she was gushing about how I had spent a lot of money on Lisa. I just said if it’s for Lisa I would have paid for anything. Amy was hinting that my job was paying so much money for me to spend on Lisa this much. I’m a new surgeon just graduated from residency, i got a pay bump but not a lot. I’m lucky because my husband is supporting me while I go through fellowship. My husband (40M) is a doctor too but so much more advanced in his career than me. For my wedding gift he paid off the remainder of my student loans. He is amazing and I am obsessed with him. Wedding happened in March, my husband and I came for the wedding. Family and close friends were invited to Lisa’s parent’s place for dinner after. Amy was very handsy with my husband even during the wedding she was asking him about his job how smart he was to be working in the ICU how hot he was how he looks like a young Alain Delon bla bla. My husband was giving me signals to come to him and I did. This happened at least 2 more times. At Lisa’s parent’s, Amy was wrapping her arm around my husbands back and was serving him drinks and food. I told Lisa’s mom about how Amy’s making me and my husband very uncomfortable and her mom pulled her aside and told her off i think because she came out grumpy. She was still acting like a crazed teenager because when we wanted to leave she wouldn’t give my husband his jacket back to him and kept sniffing it. I had a feeling that she was drunk and completely out of it. My husband raised his voice and told her to stop messing around and give it to him. I yelled “can you stop being so difficult you’ve been shamelessly flirting with my husband in front of me the whole day give me the damn jacket and leave us alone”. I got a text from Lisa’s mom demanding I publicly apologize to Amy as in post on social media a heartfelt apology because some of the guests heard me yell at her and thought I was overreacting and humiliated her. Lisa is on my side and told me Amy has always had gold digging tendencies and that this isn’t the first time she’d done something like this. She flirted with her friend’s dad and their next door neighbour who is married when she thought that they were wealthy. Lisa said that she’ll handle it. I already felt so bad I ruined the last moments of her wedding day and now she has to deal with this. I’m ruminating on this a lot lately and wondering if I should apologize to Amy. I don’t want to but then again if I did, I would explain exactly what happened and how it merited my reaction to her. Though this might add fuel to the fire. There is so much drama right now and I want to preserve my friendship with Lisa. TLDR: friend’s sister flirting with my husband, i ‘embarrassed’ her and now she wants a public apology. I’m thinking of doing it but detailing exactly what happened and might paint her in a bad light. But all this drama could cost my friendship with my friend. RELEVANT COMMENTS jamicam Are the guests at the wedding also your Facebook friends? I don't understand how a public apology on social media would work in this case... I mean, I imagine the guests include aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc., of the family. Are they really going to see your FB apology? OOP Her mom wants me to tag her and Lisa so that their family can see it. I don’t even use facebook anymore but her family are still active on it. jamicam If you don't use FB then there's your answer. Lisa said she'll handle it. I'd let this alone. Update March 18, 2024 Keeping it as short as I can and typos galore cuz I’m oncall. Previous post got so popular that Amy’s mom found it and texted me to take down (in all caps). I got around to read most of the comments a day after I posted when I finished my shift. I didn’t not apologize to anyone or did anything at all frankly I forgot about it since I had people close to dying on me left and right at work. I gaslit Amy’s mom into thinking that I never did such a thing and that I did not have a Reddit account (she believed it I think since she didn’t text me back, cmon the details I put in that post were exactly what she experienced and she didn’t find it odd?). For clarification: One of you said I had a spine of a jellyfish (loved that comment) and not apologizing was the right thing to do. I was hesitant and was actually considering giving that apology because of the fact that she fed me and let me stay in her home during thanksgiving and Christmas many years ago when I couldn’t go home to my family. I’m the kind of person who’ll remember every good thing you do for me and do my best to reciprocate or get even so as to not be indebted to you. Idk what kind of mental illness is that, I never retained much of the psychiatric info from medschool. A lot of people insinuated that me being docile and restrained in those kinds of situations makes me a bad surgeon to which i say i beg your effing pardon. Would you want someone who’s operating on you have a criminal record for causing bodily harm/homicide? Also I’ve dealt with worse than Amy I’ve survived handling 19 psychotic patients with TBIs for a whole rotation. Me being aggressive would have gotten me kicked out of my fellowship. Things that have transpired: I tried to avoid contacting Lisa since she went off on her honeymoon but because of the popularity of my previous post I decided to give her a heads up. Lisa was more than apologetic, in fact she facetimed me and we had a very teary conversation about her family. There were a lot more going on that I never knew but mine and my husband’s involvement in her family drama was the last straw. She had decided to go no contact with her mom and sister. She also warned me that Amy might approach my husband in some way but no idea how. She’s also getting her extended family involved about Amy. My husband does not have any social media (so hot) and he did not give out his number to anyone at all during the wedding. He is anal about loyalty and transparency in our marriage. We have access to each other’s electronics. I know he would never cheat on me. 3 days ago someone called my husband’s clinic asking to get his number for an ‘emergency’ and that she needed to get a hold of his wife. The nurse who answered refused to give a physician’s personal number and the conversation got heated. My husband’s colleague, another intensivist, took over and asked her to tell him what the emergency was so that he could tell my husband himself. The person on the phone argued some more and when the doctor wouldn’t give she hung up. That friend told my husband what happened and said the woman didn’t give her name but had a very high pitched child-like voice. My husband immediately knew it was Amy but we have no proof. I know it was her, she must have searched my husband’s name on google and found where he worked since his professional profile is online along with the name of his hospital. I’m getting more and more irritated by this whole thing and have gone full on mama bear mode over my husband. He was furiously annoyed after the wedding and was saying if the genders were switched he would have definitely gotten punched not even halfway through the wedding. My husband had terrible experiences with women before, two women at different times tried to baby trap him, one did some Sherlock level manipulation and one harassed us when we were dating. He is usually a cool and calm guy but now he hasn’t been smiling or joking around with me like he always does ever since the wedding. Anywho, my uncle (our lawyer) was consulted, security at my husband’s dept and around our home have been notified. Thank you guys. PS: Kelly if you’re reading this, do something about your younger daughter before something bad happens. Also you don’t deserve your older daughter. Edit: a Moriarty level manipulation…now that makes more sense not sherlock tf RELEVANT COMMENTS I3ex_G Damn, can your lawyer uncle draft a letter to scare Amy? Just outlining what she is doing is harassment and the outcome if she continues? Sounds like Amy might need mental help and threats of repercussions might force her mother’s hand to getting her help. Is the dad around? I hope other family members will start pressuring Amy to get help OOP Nope, we couldn’t prove it was Amy that called. We just have to wait and see if she does anything. Our only hope is that she stays broke and can’t afford to travel to where we live since it’s far from hers. Her dad’s dead. I hope so too. ~ procrastinating_b Why’s everyone got an uncle lawyer lol OOP I’m half Asian. That uncle is Asian too. That should answer your question Forsaken_Woodpecker1 I’m rolling this response is hilarious 🤣 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OP. Original post is by u/Sapphire_Trash in r/TrueOffMyChest TW: Infidelity, self-harm, attempted suicide Mood Spoiler: Frustrating, depressing ~~~ Original - Jul. 8, 2023 My ex best friend attempted to take her life. And I don't care. I haven't reached out. She slept with my boyfriend behind my back. We're both 20 F and we've been friends since Reception (4-5 years old, UK thing). She was my sister, my rock, we stood by each other through everything. When my parents divorced she was there to offer a shoulder for me to cry on. When her grandmother died, I was there keeping her afloat throughout high school. I'd been dating my boyfriend (21M) for about 3 years. We started dating in sixth form (A version of UK college) and he was my first serious relationship. I introduced him to my family, he was many of my firsts. He was sweet, a little awkward being a gamer guy, but he treated me to date nights and always made me feel special. Maybe this is me being young and dumb, but I thought I'd marry this guy someday. This was something I told my best friend. Well, about a month ago while my boyfriend was in the shower, I saw a text notification pop up on his phone. We look at each other's notifications all the time so I grabbed his phone to see it. It was from her. Asking if they were still on for tonight and if she should wear his favourite dress. He told me he was hanging out with friends and going drinking. Him going drinking with friends wasn't unusual so I never thought anything of it, but in hindsight I wonder how much of him going out was with friends and how much of it was going out with her. I saved screenshots of their conversations. I sent them to myself. I show him the messages when he came out of the bathroom and demanded he explained himself about them. I couldn't contain how upset and angry and hurt I was. An argument ensued where I told him he was disgusting and I left his place. Shortly after arriving home, I started getting bombarded with calls and texts from my best friend. I answered none of her calls, I couldn't stomach hearing her voice but her texts ranged from: 'She never meant to hurt me. My boyfriend hit on her first. It didn't mean anything.' Then it got angry, saying I should hear her out. If I was a real friend, I would take her calls. I'm being petty and childish for not listening to her side. Then back to sad, saying I was her closest friend in the world and she didn't want to lose me. My boyfriend was strangely quiet during this time. After a few days I got myself together enough to send them both messages. Maybe it was cowardly, but I didn't have the strength to call them. I told my now ex boyfriend that we were done and I won't give cheaters any chances with me. He responded by trying to call me, but after the 3rd or 4th attempt, he gave up. He sent me a final message saying it wasn't that big of a deal, that they'd just fooled around, but agreeing he didn't want to date me anymore. My ex best friend was more persistent after I told her I wanted nothing to do with her. Day after day I'd get messages and calls from her. Demanding to talk. Demanding we resolve this. Demanding I not say anything to anyone. Saying she's stopped seeing him. Saying she'll kill herself if I don't talk to her. Really fucked up shit. I ended up confiding to a mutual friend about what was going on because I was seriously beginning to wonder if I was being a bitch. This friend reassured me that my feelings were justified, however, I wasn't expecting this friend to spread around what happened. The gossip spread like wildfire and a few days ago my ex best friend tried to take her life. I said nothing. I haven't visited her in the hospital. I haven't sent any messages to her family. Now her older sister keeps messaging me, telling me I'm a heartless bitch for leaving her at her lowest. For not trying to prevent this and that everyone makes mistakes, and that her sister didn't intentionally hurt me.Maybe it does make me a heartless bitch, but I don't care. I'm relieved she survived, but I'll never forgive her. I'll never forgive her betrayal. She destroyed our friendship when she slept with my boyfriend. ~~~ Update - Aug. 14, 2023 Update: My ex best friend attempted to take her life. Hey again. It's been a while. First I want to thank everyone for all of their comments and support. In hindsight, I know now I wasn't being a bitch but in the moment when I was being bombarded by texts and calls from her family, it's hard not to let those thoughts mess with your head. I didn't know if I was going to post an update but some things have happened, so this might get a little long. Sorry! Giving fake names, ex-BFF is 'Nicky'. Her older sister is 'Tammy'. Ex-BF is 'Josh'. I'll name anyone relevant as I go. So I mentioned in a comment that my Mum wanted to speak to me later that day. I had a few replies warning me that she would try to pressure me into forgiving Nicky and they were right. She came over to my Dad's that evening and wanted a conversation in private. She asked if I'd spoken to Nicky yet. I said no. She asked if I was going to. I said no. I was trying to be as firm as possible because I knew what she was about to do. She asked "don't you think you should?" My response was: "No? I don't see why I should, I sent her a final message almost a month ago." This is where things began to really go south in the conversation. Mum: Love, she's in the hospital right now. She needs all the support she can get, you're meant to be her friend. I didn't even know about her condition until her mother called me. Me: Really? I'm meant to be her friend after she slept with Josh behind my back? I didn't say anything about her because I didn't want to talk about her. Mum: Are you really going to onto a silly grudge? I understand she hurt you, but she's hurting so much more right now, love. Me: She's hurting?? Mum: Yes, you both are. I raised you to be a kind, forgiving person. Why can't you forgive her? Me: What? Like how Dad should've forgiven you? This wasn't my finest moment. I didn't bring it up before because it wasn't relevant but the reason why my parents divorced was due to infidelity on Mum's end. And it wasn't only a one time thing (not that it matters even if it had been), but my Mum always believed Dad should've just forgiven her. I admit this was a low blow from me and the conversation spiralled into an argument from there with both of us saying some not so kind things to each other. Eventually I decided the conversation was over because we were just going around in circles and heading into yelling territory, so I told her to leave and I'll try talking to her again when we've both calmed down. When she was leaving, she made said this: "I hope you're not as cruel as your father." I'm typically not an angry person, but this infuriated and hurt me. I lived 50-50 between my parents. They both made sure I had everything I could need or want, but she felt her situation and struggles were undeserved. Dad never helped with bills or payments that didn't involve me. She expected more. Cheaters always do. I didn't say anything when she left, I just blocked her number and social media accounts and cried. She cared more about the girl who had hurt her daughter than said daughter. She realised pretty quick what had happened and came back the next day but Dad told her I didn't want to talk to her (true) and she had to leave. It took maybe half an hour before she finally left. The new few days she kept trying to reach me through other people, but I stayed silent. The Friday after my post, I decided I felt calm enough to talk to her and unblocked her. We spoke over the phone which wasn't as exciting as above. Basically it was her apologising and telling me she was wrong for trying to force me to forgive Nicky, that she'll respect my decision but tried to suggest I think about it. I very firmly told her I was not forgiving Nicky. She just said okay. Things didn't really feel the same with us. I couldn't bring myself to be as chatty with her as I was before and it didn't help that she kept giving me updates about Nicky. The first time she did it, she told me Nicky had been put on a 72 hour psych hold, assessed and eventually released. I told her I didn't want any updates on Nicky's situation. I won't stop her from checking in, but I didn't want to be involved. She complained and said she thought I'd want to visit her, but I threatened to block her again if she kept pushing and she shut up. Nothing was mentioned about Nicky for a couple of weeks before Mum again broke my boundary and brought her up. Telling me about how Josh had stopped talking to her and how Nicky needed a shoulder to cry on. I again told her I didn't want to know and this was her last chance not to bring her up or I would cut her from my life. She complained again but eventually promised it wouldn't happen again. Maybe I should have learned from my mistakes because I know my mother. She doesn't take 'no' for an answer. It was really quiet for a while. My friends and I had all basically carried on from what happened and even though I know a couple of them still occasionally talk to Nicky, they never bring her up around me or tell her (I hope) how I'm doing. I thought I could finally close this chapter on my life, but nope. Today my mother called me and asked if I wanted to get lunch. I hadn't seen her in a while, so what was the harm? I head to the Wetherspoons we planned to eat at and who do I find sitting with my Mum? Nicky and her sister Tammy. As soon as Nicky sees me, she gets up and tries to hug me but I just raise a hand and take a step back, and this girl has the audacity to look upset. Mum immediately knows she's fucked up because she's scrambling with all of the excuses. "It hurts to see you two fall apart like this, you were so close!" "I thought you'd forgive her by now." and my favourite, "She made a mistake, she misses you." During this time, Nicky has been quiet and I can see Tammy's glaring at me. I'm just...so fucking angry and upset. I honestly didn't think she'd pull something like this. I wanted to leave and cry but I looked at Nicky and said, "For someone who's made a 'mistake', she sure hasn't apologised for it, yet." She had this guilty look on her face and muttered something about me having her blocked and having no way to. I said, "Is that really all you have to say?" and she just looked at me confused. I was done. I turned to leave and her sister started yelling after me, saying that I owed Nicky a second chance with all the trauma I put her through. While Nicky was begging me to just listen to her and talk to her. I told them all to fuck off and never contact me again and left. I managed to get out of there before Tammy started a fight and went home where I sent my Mum a text a while ago telling her she'd better lose my number because she no longer has a spot in my life. Then I blocked her and just...cried. My Dad's been doing his best to comfort me, but it just hurts so bad that my own mother did this to me. So that's where things are at right now. I'll update if anything else happens, but this whole situation really fucking sucks. ~~~ Reminder - I am NOT the original poster. Don't forget that commenting on the original posts is not allowed. submitted by /u/SJDude13 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is a new update to a story previously shared here. Originally posted by u/imgonnajustthrowthis in r/TrueOffMyChest on Nov 23rd 2022. Newest updates on Dec 22 '22, Jan 5 '23, Jan 27, Feb 6, and Feb 22. Scroll to the 🔴🔴🔴 to skip to the new updates. Acronyms: HLM = High libido male, LLF = Low libido female, DB = dead bedroom. Original Nov 23rd 2022 My (30m) Wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive. Truth is... So my wife is indeed a beautiful lady. I’m not interested in cheating or going behind her back. She just thinks we don’t have a lot of sex because I have a low sex drive. Truth is, we don’t have a lot of sex because we have it the way she wants it, and little to never how I want it. I’m all for using vibrators and whatever else to get her off as many times as possible. I’m a HUGE fan of oral and can eat front and back for days but she scarcely returns the favor. She once said “if you shower before bed Ill do it.” So for a week straight I made sure I was showered and clean because let’s be real who wants to go down on a smelly person, totally reasonable request. So I would do my oral on her and indicate I’d like to be on the receiving end… to no avail.. I have a high sex drive but she has become a selfish lover and coming from a man, it’s pretty comical to say this. I have no words at this point and I’m pretty close to just giving up sex all together. EDIT 1 Yes I have talked to my wife PLENTY of times about this issue. A lot of you guys said the same thing which hey, emotional maturity is fucking impossible to find but yes. I am wide open with my concerns in more than just the sexual aspect in our Marriage. 2nd Post Nov 25th 2022 My (30m) wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive… truth is… UPDATE First things first. Thank you all so much for the love and support and advice. I didn’t expect that post to get so much traction. Apparently it even made its way to TikTok.. Now if you read the last post, and maybe a few others of mine. The TLDR is my wife is a lazy and selfish lover.. and at this point, person. I have been in therapy myself and I’ve tried couples counseling as well. I have brought my concerns to her in a healthy calm manner, and safe to say, I’ve tried pretty much everything. As most of us know, yesterday was thanksgiving… Here’s an update. I’m made my signature dish because it was demanded by my in laws that I make it. We go over for food and such. After we eat I took a little snooze on the couch. My wife woke me up and said “hey, I need you to watch the kids. Im gonna have some wine.” I mean alright no problem. So while she’s drinking and playing games with her family, I got put on kid duty for all the kids (I’m also the fun uncle so like I didn’t really care.) I did care as my wife got progressively more and more intoxicated. When we left I literally had to throw her over my shoulder while carrying both kiddos to the car. We got home, I made her drink water, got the kids around and put them to sleep and helped my wife sober up a bit. We watched some tv and surprisingly, she cuddled into me and thanked me for taking care of her and the kids and she didn’t mean to have so much wine. Alright, I’m always pleased with self awareness. Literally just that little bit washed away any irritation I had. I carried her to bed and laid her down. Got her some water and ibuprofen (and a bucket just in case) got her set up in bed. About two hours later I heard my son crying so I went to get him. He had some nightmares so I got him settled down, put him back to bed. Few hours later my daughter woke up because she peed through her pull up. I got her back to sleep. When I got back into bed my wife was awake. I asked what was wrong? Her response was “I was drunk… and you didn’t even try to do anything to me?” No because even if we are married I’m not going to take advantage of you. That’s pathetic… I laid back down and she said “if you want we can have sex before you go back to bed?” Mind you this was 430, and I was fucking beat and my mental fortitude was gone and this is, In my personal opinion, not the correct way to respond, said “If you want to have sex, you’re gonna have to give me head first. I’m not hard and I’m not doing anything to get it going.” She goes “well I guess Nevermind.” Couple hours later the alarm went off, I got up. Got the kids around and my coffee. She comes out a few hours later dressed and says “why didn’t you wake me up? You were up like 4 times with the kids. I was gonna let you sleep.” Nah it’s okay. You didn’t even budge at my alarm this morning so I figured you still needed to sleep. Why are you dressed? She said the girls want to go Black Friday shopping and was wondering if I wanted to go. Nah. I’ll hang out with the kids and watch movies. They are gonna have a rough day. And that brings me to now. Having a cuddly movie day with my kids who are tired. She’s out shopping. And I need another cup of coffee. TLDR my wife lazily tried to bang me and was turned down. Now I have coffee. EDIT; I posted the third update but it was marked as spam. Currently trying to get that resolved for you guys. Secondly. I posted in the DB Reddit to try and get some tips to help boost her libido, and someone said she may just be using my love of giving oral as masturbation… turns out, dude was spot on. After we had a really good talk Saturday, I’m actually really hurt by her never saying anything. I genuinely at a loss for words. 3rd Post Nov 28th 2022 30HLM seeking advice about a 28LLF Hey all. I (30HLM) am looking to reignite my bedroom with my wife (28LLF.) some quick background. I am a giver. I love giving oral so I do go down on her frequently (and I am being serious here, it’s almost daily.) I like to give her one or two before we move on. The issue is, our sex life slowly declined until about mid June.. since then we have had sex a hand full of times, but I still go down on her almost daily. I have no problems getting her to the peak, if you catch my drift, but as soon as she gets one. She just kinda rolls over and doesn’t want to continue. Now, I don’t watch porn (recovered addict and sticking to it) and I don’t masturbate. Any advice to help get her to bring her libido back up to my level? Edit; have, in the short time I’ve posted this, discovered she has been using my love of giving oral as a means of masturbation and also thought that since I loved it so much that it got me off too. 🙃 4th Post Nov 30th 2022 My (30m) Wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive. The Trilogy (repost) Repost since the original was marked as spam. Has since been resolved. So a lot has happened since Thanksgiving/ Black Friday. After we put the kids down on Saturday, I sat my wife down and told her for the first time she’s going to listen to what I have to say and she will not interrupt or say anything back. I explained everything.. how I’m feeling so awful because of her lack of interest. Because of her laziness and how it’s not okay to just simply not exist because I come home from work. I explained it’s not okay anymore to be a selfish lover because I am too good of a man/husband to feel unworthy of love. The rest of the night she didn’t really say much. The following morning, I woke up suddenly to my kids playing in the living room. I instinctively ran out to see what they were into and how big of a mess there was. To my surprise my wife was playing with them. She said she was sorry that she woke me up. She didn’t realize how her lack of attention and interest was hurting me so much. So far so good. Monday rolls around. I posted in the dead bedroom Reddit to maybe get some advice from some LL people on how to get my wife more interested in having sex. Someone suggested maybe she was being a pain in the ass and using my love of giving daily oral as a form of masturbation. I didn’t even think of this possibility until they said something. So I asked bluntly if that’s what she was doing. She responded with yes. That’s what she was doing but figured since I loved it so much that it was okay. That me going down on her multiple times was all I wanted. Nope. I didn’t say much after that and kinda just stared off into space thinking about how I was nothing better than a sex toy to her. I woke up early this morning feeling just horny as all hell so I decided I was going to wake her up with my tongue and give it one last Hail Mary attempt. I got into position and… nope.. she’s too tired. At this point. Seriously. I am really stunned. Help me. Edit - So a lot of you guys have said to stop giving. So last night and this morning I kept to myself. When she rolled out of bed, she was pretty much pissed immediately. She kicked a pile of small boxes that I had neatly put together to take outside for garbage day. She was tossing things that were in her way. Had a short temper towards our kids (this did not fly and you best believe papa bear came out.) and was saying nasty things as I was heading at the door because I didn’t make her her coffee this morning. Edit 2/ update- She cancelled our marital counseling session without telling me so we didn’t go last night. She felt it was a waste of time when there’s “nothing wrong” with our marriage. Took that time to deep clean my kitchen out of anger after my kids went down because I genuinely did not have it in me to even look at her. I have refused to give her any sexual attention and I can see the frustration on her face about it. I’m still holding strong but it really sucks when that was literally the only attention that our marriage had anymore. Pretty much a single dad at this point. 5th Post Dec 4th 2022. 30m DB with 28f. I think I have a fix. So this is a half way update/what I plan to do in a final attempt to fix this. Right now, we have had a DB for years. Whenever we did have sex it was pretty much on her (LLF) terms. Me being HL, for the past 6 months, I have been going down in her almost daily to try and get her libido to match mine. It has not been working so the past few days I have stopped giving. It’s been about 5 days since I done it and my wife is acting short tempered and cranky but has not initiated anything. Last night we got into a big disagreement about some stuff and divorce was put on the table not just because of our DB but because of a plethora of other issues. I have also decided that I am going to up my fitness. I’ve been doing boxing to enjoy the full body work out but now, I am going to do my best to become a certified DILF. I know working out typically can increase libido so I may need some more support from all you wonderful people. If I can get super fit and she still doesn’t find me attractive enough to actually initiate.. then I have no clue what else to do. 🔴🔴🔴 Dec 22 '22 My (30m) wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive… truth is.. Update 4. I am writing this, sitting in my shower with tears of confusion streaming down my face. After a pretty big fight, I have told my wife to go sleep at her parents house for the next few days. At this point, I’m emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. This is an update, so let me back it up a few days to fill you all in. Saturday December 17th. Discussed with my in laws the previous day to take the kids over to spend the day with them to have a day to ourselves with my wife. Woke up early. Got them dressed, fed and out the door. Dropped them off at their grand parents. Came back, wife was still sleeping. I immediately went to work by picking up the living room, vacuumed, made sure everything was nice and tidy. Went into the kitchen, put away the dishes that were washed the night prior, swept, mopped, wiped down counters where I missed the night before. She came out around 9 am, asked where the kids were, explained and was immediately met with annoyance. Asked why I would just pawn our kids off. They aren’t her parent’s responsibility (we literally never ask her parents for anything which is why they were actually excited to spend the day with them) etc. I made her a coffee, and kept cleaning. Scrubbed the bathroom floor to ceiling every nook and cranny, swept mopped. Cleaned laundry room top to bottom, put away all of our clothes, cleaned both kids rooms… you get the idea. She took a nap at 12. Woke up at 4:30 ish. I had laid out a nice little date outfit for her so we could go out and have a little date. She told me she didn’t feel like going anywhere. Fair enough! Let me cook for you, it’s more intimate that way anyway. Made one of her favorites. Was flirting with her the entire time I was cooking. Opened a bottle of wine, I came into the living room wearing a nice suit… to see the outfit I picked out for her still on the counter… okay. We ate, cuddled up watching a tv show for a little bit and I tried to get a little more intimate and she said she was too tired. Sunday, December 18th. Spent the whole day picking at each and every decision I made. Second guessing everything to the point of me getting a hair line close to blowing a gasket. Monday, Tuesday- typical me waking up with kids, feeding them, working, cooking. Cleaning. Nothing really to report. Today. December 21. I left a roast out for her to put in the slow cooker. I had to leave for work early so I didn’t have the time. Texted her the instructions. If anyone knows, an all day slow cooker roast is literally the most comfort of comfort meals. At least for me it is. I texted her around 3 expressing how excited I was to come home for this roast. “Uhm… I didn’t put it in.” Okay. That REALLY sucks but I’ll do it tomorrow. I asked her to just pull out chicken so it can thaw out. She didn’t even do that. The moment I walked through the door. She went and sat in the shower. While she was in the shower, and I was cooking. My daughter got into her makeup. While cleaning her up I told her she was beautiful enough as is and I didn’t think she needed this! And from the next room my wife yelled at me to not make her feel bad or put her down. So I asked her, how would you like for me to handle this if it happens again. The absolute venom in her response genuinely upset me because it’s an innocent question. This led to us arguing the entire time to ourselves, me trying to hold off until the kids went down. Her yelling in my face. After we got the kids down, I went to her car, started it, came back in and let her yell for a few more minutes and then told her to get the fuck out of my house. That she is done speaking to me like I’m trash. That I deserve better. That I deserve to be loved. That I am a better husband that she ever deserved on her best day. She fought with me on leaving but I got her some clothes, put them in my duffle bag, gave it to her. Phone charger and everything she needed. When she told me she was taking the kids with her, my cool and calm demeanor instantly snapped. I’m not a physically imposing person. I’m not a rude or mean person. I stepped right to her face and without touching her, told her if she thinks she can take my kids from me, she can try. She left. Her dad, whom is a man I have great respect for, came over. Asked for my side. I explained, and he put his hand on my shoulder. Didn’t say a word. Just stood up. Walked to the door turned to me. Tears in his eyes as well, said “I didn’t raise her like that.” So here I am. Mad. Sad. Hurt. Broken. Thank you all for reading and giving me your support. A lot of you said nice things. Some of you called me a doormat. I’m proud to say I stood up for myself and my children. I have already sat down with lawyers to discuss an exit strategy and I’m scared to death I’ll lose my kids. Hopefully next update is a positive one. Jan 5 '23 My (30m) wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive.. truth is… Update 5 First and foremost wow. All of you, across all platforms are amazing. Thank you to everyone with kind words, support and even the people who message me literally just to see if I’m okay. I’m giving you all my biggest virtual dad hugs. With that being said. The first part of this, is probably going to piss you off but please bare with me. The night after I asked my wife to leave for a few days. Her dad came back over. We had a really good talk about what’s going on with my wife. He (like many of you) came to the conclusion she was depressed. Told her that she needed to get off her butt and get help or she was going to lose her family. Literally nothing I haven’t said to her already 100 times over. It was nearing bed time for my kids and he knew that so he asked if he could take my kids with him that night so they could do Christmas Eve in the morning with them. Mind you this was Christmas Eve Eve so I allowed it. Got their clothes together and sent them on their way. My house was deadly quiet and that was upsetting in its own right. I decided to have a few drinks and asked myself if this is what my life would be if I left her for good. An empty house. No laughter of my kids. Knowing they aren’t sleeping but a few feet from me in a different room. It felt wrong. The following morning I went over to her parents for Christmas Eve. Played the good dad and husband. Got toys gifts for everyone. Spent the whole day doing my best to put on that brave face. When it came time to go, I asked my wife to come home with me. I didn’t want my kids waking up Christmas morning without their mom. I put the kids down. Finished wrapped gifts and went to bed a little early. I got the wife a new copy of Pokémon Scarlet, new headphones (kids broke hers) a new kindle since she wanted a water proof one, and foot warmer since her feet are always cold when she sits at her desk. I got, from her, a new desk mat. Which honestly was spot on I needed it. The next couple of days went well with the except of everything in my house breaking that was related to the toilet and shower. Work week went fine. Just did my normal cooking and cleaning. Then New Year’s Eve rolled around. Put the kids down. I sat with her on the couch told her we need to talk. To figure something out because we both know we are at the edge of a cliff and I’m ready to jump. I tell her to just talk to me. Tell me anything. Tell me she’s depressed. Tell me there’s something wrong. Hell I will even take you telling me you’re having an affair because hey at least you’re talking to me. What she said next kinda rocked me. She said she loves me ate the father of her kids but she doesn’t love love me anymore and she’s been trying to figure out how to say it for months. She used me as a tool to get her orgasm, she took out all her frustration out on me, used me as a punching bag and it pissed her off knowing that no matter what she did, that I never stopped being warm. Never stopped being kind. Never stopped being thoughtful. Never for a day decided to stoop to her level. She thought that I was no longer interested in her physically since I stopped initiating the intimacy. I corrected her. She objectified my love of giving. She told me no too many times. She treated me like I was some idiot who at no point knew what I was doing when it came to every day tasks. No one wants to have sex with someone who is constantly making them feel unworthy. We came to the conclusion that we both are here for the kids. It’s unhealthy and not fair to either of us. It’s not fair to the kids. I’ve been watching single dad videos and looking at other subreddits, forums… basically everything and I’m terrified of the next steps. We both agreed that if divorce came the pass that we would be as amicable as possible for our kids. We don’t want any resentment or unkind feelings to get in the way of what’s best for them. I am already in therapy. I’m encouraging her to get some as well. I need to sleep but I haven’t slept right since. Even as Im writing this I’m in bed feeling pretty numb. I’ll respond to comments on here when I have the energy. I’ve been getting a lot of TikTok people so I made an account so I can read comments and respond there as well. Again. Thank you all for your support and advice. You have no idea how much it means. Edit. Noticed a couple of typos. kids went over on Christmas Eve Eve. We did Christmas Eve at her parents house. Christmas at my house. I apologize for the confusion there. Jan 27 I feel like I’m losing my mind lately. With everything going on with going through the motions of divorce, trying to get debt paid off, some medical issues going on with myself and my son, work… I’m just feeling like I’m constantly at the tipping point of my sanity. The only people I can normally vent to are mutual friends and I don’t want anything to get back to my wife. I’m afraid of the custody battle ahead of me with my kids. I’m frustrated all the time. I have a lack of motivation to keep up with my daily chores. I’m just spread really thin at this point and I have no idea what to do. Im trying to keep my head up and keep a brave face of the kids, but really I just feel like I’m drowning. Feb 6 I am at my wits end with this. For anyone who has been following my story, let’s all collectively heavy sigh. I’ve have had a migraine for almost week due to a pinched nerve in my back. It has been causing me a lot of discomfort. I got my kids cold over the weekend so let’s add in the sinus pressure of a cold and you got a recipe for a grumpy and strained person. I’m not the type of person to ask for help with chores or a break from my kiddos. However yesterday, during their nap time I decided to take one as well. The wife came and laid in bed with me and when the kids woke up about an hour and change later, I asked my wife if she would get them so I could rest a little more. A simple and eloquent “No.” came out. Okay then I got up got the kids, watched a movie and relaxed. Started up dinner, (approx 2 hours after I woke up) she came out and sits on the couch and I hear her scrolling through tik tok. I finish up dinner and she comes in the kitchen and goes “you know we have leftovers. Let’s just do that.” Since I made penne pasta, I just threw it in a glass pan and said sure we can have this tomorrow so I don’t have to cook. Fast forward to us putting Down the kids. After we did that, I asked If she would be willing to do the dishes for me. She laughed and said “no fucking way.” Okay well I’m not doing them either. This morning she sent me two pictures. One of the trash can which was full and the other of the full sink with the message “this is unacceptable.” Admittedly. I forgot to grab the trash this morning I did tell her I’d take it out but I genuinely forgot. I explained I’d take it out when I got home and do the dishes. Her response was “instead of being lazy and not doing anything. Next time just ask for help if you’re not feeling well.” When I read that message I audibly laughed. I texted back simply “I asked for help twice. Twice I was told no. I’ll handle it when I get home.” To which she sent a flurry of “oh I’m the worst partner. I’m just the shittiest. I’m a bad wife…. Etc.” I get if you don’t want to pull your weight but… now we out here gaslighting. I am reminded daily why I am on the exit pa th with this woman, but every single day I am more and more worried about what is gonna happen with me and my kids. I’m fighting for them obviously but to say it’s an uphill battle is a goddamn understatement. Feb 22 My (30m) wife (28f) thinks I have a low sex drive.. truth is… Final Update Hey all! I appreciate everyone of you for following along with me on this… journey.. I come bearing good news. To catch everyone up since the last update, it’s been your standard wife just vibing while I clean, cook, take care of the house, and everything else. For the past few weeks I’ve been working on myself. Working out, eating better, drinking more water, just really focusing on me when the kids aren’t around. Last night it really came to a head, however. I’ve been having a depressive spell the past few days and really just have no motivation for anything extra. She looked at me and asked me “Why do you look so down these past couple of days.” It could have been the sleep deprivation, or depression, honestly I don’t know but I responded with “It’s really hard to be happy when you’re around.” We sat for a little bit in silence and I just told her that I’m tired of constantly being belittled, yelled at, treated like I’m never good enough while she sits on her perch and a broken record and barks orders. I told her I know we don’t want the kids in daycare but we need to figure something out because I’m done. I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore. I don’t want to be her husband anymore. I don’t know what I’m gonna do next. I don’t know what the future holds. What I do know is I’m going to be going through with the divorce. I deserve happiness. I deserve to be loved. I’m terrified of the upcoming battle for my kids. I’m excited to renter the dating pool… kinda.. not exactly. But again.. all of you, thank you for your kind messages and support. I’ll be sure to check in from time to time. I think this is still ongoing, even though OOP is declaring this the final update. Let me know if you disagree Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost. submitted by /u/KittenDealinMama to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwaway4352016 mood spoilers: Good I guess   I (M27) lost control on a date in front of her (F21) whole family. What can I do now? - Nov 2013 I joined website for dating to try and get more dates. That was my only intent. I have been working too much for 2 years at my new job. I just wanted to have more fun. I got an e-mail and set up a date with this girl. It's my 5th date from the site, it's been fun. But this one girl was like one of those love at first sight moments when we met at a restaurant. I saw her and she was perfect. I tried to play it cool but I felt like I could just cut ties with all the girls I've dated and just commit to her. Physically she was everything I could ever ask for and exactly my type. Her personality seemed about a 10/10. About 30 minutes into sitting down, we didn't even order cause we were just talking. The chemistry was as good as it was with my first love when I was 13. It was perfect, sparks were flying, I thought I was done and ready to commit here. But then she tells me to forget about ordering food, let's go somewhere else, and she has this idea. She won't say much and I like surprises so I didn't ask much. We jumped in my car and drove to this restaurant about 20 minutes away kind of out of town. It was half way up a mountain near a ski resort. I'm familiar with the area so no big deal. We walk in and her family is celebrating her aunt's birthday. There was only family and a lot of it, about 40 people. She introduces me and everybody was happy to meet me and real nice. Everybody also knew that she was out on a first date. They were asking her stuff like, "is this the guy?" "is this your date?" "is this the one?" All of the sudden I wasn't so cool and relaxed. I felt heavy pressure to be on my best behavior. It was high pressure to the 3rd degree. But everybody was nice so that helped. We sat down and I started being questioned by her older sister, her aunt, and another lady that I forget her relation to my date. The mom started kind of defending me and telling them to back off and let me eat. But the interrogating continued. After I don't know how long they turned to my date and jokingly said "we approve." Then I was able to kind of get my bearings about me for a minute. I was totally off balance all night, just tense. I was afraid the back of my shirt would get that a big wet spot cause I felt sweat on my back. So the sister brings her cute little girl and let's me hold her and she and my date started taking pictures of me holding her, and somebody else's baby boy as well. I started to feel like the tone of it all was that we were a couple. I kind of felt like I was married to her and these nice people were my in-laws. After a couple of hours probably closer to 3 hours, everybody was kind of tiring out and everything began to wind down, keep in mind her car is still at the other restaurant down the hill. Then her dad suddenly asks me "jokingly," what my intentions are with his daughter. Though I can't remember how he phrased the question. Everybody looked at the table looked at me which is about half the people there. I guess I was exhausted from all the questioning (I was questioned by multiple people, multiple times) and the pressure of it all cause I kind of lost it. He asked the question, I looked across the table at her, and she told her dad to stop it. Her dad smiles and jokingly says that he'd really like to hear my response, and her uncle (I think) also said he'd like to know (jokingly). I looked at my date and said, "Can I talk to you alone for a minute." To which her dad laughs loudly and and says "I made him nervous." So everybody is laughing now and I guess it was a big joke. Then I said to my date, "hey can I talk to you alone for a minute?" I stood up in place, kind of, it was one of those long bench seats and I couldn't push it back cause other people were sitting on it. Then her sister (I think) says, "Oh there are no secrets in this family, speak your mind." People then laugh again and everybody starts making jokes about not having secrets and this man who married into the family somehow tells me that he remembers being in my place and he says, "let me give you some advice, the best thing to do right now is speak your mind and be honest." Then others join in and echo his sentiment, all jokingly I think. So I looked at my date and she says something like, "you can tell me anything here, we're all family." She also I think was joking. But I had started to lose my ability to tell when people were joking and when they were serious. So the dad says, "wait, I haven't gotten an answer to my question." So finally I speak directly to the dad and say, "I'd like to discuss that with her first." But I REGRETFULLY, laughed as I said it. So her dad says, "I asked you first, I wanna know." I turn to my date and she says something like, "go ahead you can tell me, I'm a big girl I can handle it." So I said ok, and sat down then took a couple of breaths while her dad kind of quieted everybody down. I started with "I think I made a huge mistake." It all spiraled down from there. I said harsh things like that I felt like I was having a bad dream where I was suddenly married. I questioned her intentions in bringing me there. I said stuff like, "what were you thinking?" "Yes, i liked you, but I just met you, and right now I know your aunt (I pointed at her sitting next to me) better than I know you." I think she was humiliated but I couldn't stop, the more I spoke the more bad stuff came out, total fucking tail spin. I said I want to find someone special but I don't want to skip the first 29 dates and skip to date 30 which is what I'd done that night. Then people started interrupting and chiming in and suggesting that she and I slow down and have a real first date. I wasn't having it, I was out of control. I said, "no, it's too late for that, I feel robbed here, I wanted to meet this girl, get to know her, date her, and maybe fall for her, but now it's like we're engaged and her whole family is here and there are all these expectations. We skipped the getting to know each other, and dating part so I feel robbed." Then I said yet another thing I regret. I said "It's a HUGE RED FLAG (with an emphatic gesture) that I asked for minute alone with you to talk, and this is what I got instead." I added something like "you're all great and a great family, but the lack of certain boundaries is a huge red flag for me. I would never let my relationship become family business." My date interrupts me at this point and says, "Ok, so let's talk in private, let's go outside and talk, I'm sorry I didn't give you that minute, let's go outside and talk privately, I'll give you all night." She was visibly shaken and I could tell tears were inevitable. I stood up again and realizing that I had insulted all of them I just quietly walked out. I felt really bad cause they were all nice and had nothing but the best intentions for me. They love her, and they were literally telling me that I was good enough which should've been a compliment, but I somehow took it the wrong way and spat in their face. I didn't even drink. EDIT: Sorry, I proofread and changed some minor stuff, also I added some stuff to the statement below. We walked out and I let her have it again. She's now sobbing uncontrollably, She apologized and pretty much begged for us to start over and I told her I wasn't into it and then I left her there. I drove home and couldn't help but wonder if I overreacted. I couldn't sleep and I woke up this morning feeling like I probably did overreact and now I feel like shit. But it's done, I can't undo it. EDIT: Let me ask this more clearly. Should I call her and apologize for humiliating her, and insulting her family. Or should I just move on. Or should I wait and see if she calls and apologize then? tl;dr: Went on first date, met her family, insulted all of them cause I felt pressured.   Update - a few weeks later Just want to clear something up. My date never had a profile on the dating site. She was browsing through with her friend who has a profile and they were looking for a date for her friend. It was the friend who originally messaged me to set me up with my date. Also, I deleted my profile. I'm totally done with online dating. I've been in this city two years now so I'm gonna just go out and meet people the old fashioned way. It just feels less risky somehow. I know this is gonna disappoint many of you but I decided to speak with her. The very day I posted here was the day immediately after our date. That same evening she called me but I didn't answer cause I was in the shower so sent me a text that said, "do you hate me too much to talk to me?" I texted back "I don't hate you." She reponded, "can I call you?" I texted, "yes". So she called and immediately went into full apology damage control mode. I told her that it was ok, that I was already over it and moved on. She asked if there was anyway we could meet cause there were somethings she wanted to say in person and she wanted for us to part with a hand shake and all that. It kind of sounded like she needed closure. So I agreed to meet her downtown to talk the following Tuesday. Not a date, no lunch, no coffee, we just met at a park. We met and I knew she was still the one. She told me she loves me and we decided to try it again. We went on three dates and I proposed. She said YES!!! We're gonna get married in december. No big wedding, we're gonna fly to Las Vegas and do it there. The plan is to spend Christmas as a married couple. Just kidding, I'm not that fucking crazy. Hopefully you're still reading. The rest of the update continues on the next paragraph. We met at a park just to talk. I had been so disappointed cause I felt that the spark and the butterflies in the stomach would be gone. That I wouldn't like her anymore. As soon as I saw her this was confirmed. There was no spark. She looked great but I just didn't feel it, it kind of crushed me. So I decided to listen to her as she apologized again and told me she had really liked me on that first date and got carried away and made a very dumb decision that she wishes she could take back. She added that her mom had pulled her aside when we arrived and right from the beginning told her that if she liked me, she'd just made a big mistake by bringing me. I guess her mom pretty much cringed when she saw us walk in that night. Also, I should say that her mom was the only one defending me that night and practically pulling people off of me like her religious uncle who asked me if I'd been saved. I remember that pretty well but I guess her mom came down on her hard for not just having a first date. But she also said that things got even crazier after I left. Her mom wasn't there for my rant. She had driven somebody home and came back after I'd left. She found my date outside crying and was told what happened. Her mom I guess stormed into the restaurant and went off on everybody for ganging up on me. My date says she called them a bunch of "out of control animals." The whole thing was reduced to a big finger pointing fest by everybody. The mom was furious because the story is that my date's dad left them when my date was 9. He had some sort of breakdown and became an alcoholic. He became verbally and emotionally abusive so the mom kicked him out to protect the kids. He refused to get his act together and disappeared for almost 10 years. So the mom hates when the dad acts like he has a say in his kids' lives since he was gone and just came back less than two years ago. But he still lives over an hour away. A lot of the people that were there I guess live far away and they flew in for the Aunt's b-day. Supposedly most of them she only sees once a year at the most. So the mom went off on him especially hard and questioned his right to have any say in his daughter's decision to date anybody. She embarrassed him in front of everybody for having over stepped so many boundaries. So she told me this stuff cause she wanted me to know that she was very sorry she let her dad act all fatherly when it wasn't the time and it wasn't "his place." These were her words not mine. In a way I'm glad the mom wasn't there to witness me going off cause then I would've felt really bad. But come to think of it, she probably would've stepped in and prevented it. She asked me if there was a way we could have that first date again. But I said no. There's no way I can pretend that we are meeting for the first time after all of that. I know too much about her. I feel way too gone past that first date mode right now and maybe I need to take a break from formal dates. I did apologize to her for not telling her right away how uncomfortable I was and for going off on her outside the restaurant. I told her that there were a lot of nice people there that I felt bad about but that I'm sure they understand me cause they seemed reasonable. As I was talking to her I could see how much better she felt that I had given my own apology. Her face went from subdued and sorry, to kind of hopeful and semi happy. She started to get back her glow and her spunk. We started talking about other stuff, what I do at work, my hobbies, and some other causal stuff. The more I talked the more she glowed. I felt bad cause she showed up looking kind of fragile and contrite. She looked vulnerable but by the end of our conversation she was smiling and looked more sure of herself. I tried to show my sense of humor and made her laugh. I felt kind of sorry for her I made it my goal to send her home smiling. I kind of started to feel that spark again after she started smiling and laughing more. She has a great laugh, it's really cute and innocent. It felt a lot like it did at the restaurant. Her awesomeness comes back when she's comfortable. She definitely does it for me. I walked her to her car and we agreed that another date is probably not a good idea right now. She wanted to meet my yoga teacher cause she's the best. My date (I feel weird not tying her name) has said she needs to learn to relax more when she's stressed out. So I met her at yoga class the following Thursday (the 7th) and made the introduction. My date has been coming to the same three yoga sessions that I do weekly. We talk there. She still flirts with me and hints that we should meet for hot tea (neither of us is a coffee drinker). I walk her to her car after class cause it's dark by then. I still like her and I can tell she feels the same way. The spark is all the way back now. But all those comments I got here on my original post about her being CRAZY are still completely lodged in my head. They have me second guessing myself about staying in touch with her. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but whatever it is it's gonna take time. EDIT: I changed some little things and typos. tl;dr: She called, we met to talk, and she joined my yoga class.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. OOP posted another update but I couldn't recover it. submitted by /u/darrow19 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Atobitt made some great DD. House of Cards 1-3. Everything Short. Classics. However, part 2 and 3 of HoC felt incomplete. No offense to the man, no offense to the data. I think it is spot on, i think we all know what to do. HODL. But, I am here to add this, somewhat controversial, somewhat illuminating piece of information. I hesitate to post this because I don't want to insinuate there are other plays. There are not. i want to be clear- this is in no way intended to diminish, nor will it, your desire to do nothing more but BUY AND HODL. Ready for it? it's not even much of a surprise... its not just GME. Several Hedge Funds like Citadel, Melvin, Highfields, etc... develop a significant position in certain companies they like. The big boys. Now, when Atobitt said it was the Everything Short he fucking meant it is the EVERYTHING SHORT. So for the sake or brevity, i will only focus on a select few. namely,we are going to be discussing some rather interesting connections between amazon, netflix, target and GME and the like. This is going to be a bit of a swim, so please bear with me. let us dive in Recently, Netflix has been rumored to be entering the video game industry. https://www.polygon.com/22447410/netflix-executive-games-expansion-the-information-report And, as you know, Amazon recently purchased MGM studios. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/05/26/amazon-to-buy-mgm-studios-for-8point45-billion.html Now i am sure it doesn't take a few crayons to see our big boy GME is in the video game industry, and little brother AMC, is in the movie biz. Okay. I see that connection. Let's divert a bit and look into some other connections. i turn your attention to Kevin Turner https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B._Kevin_Turner: "Kevin Turner is an American businessman and investor who is currently the chairman of Zayo Group and the vice chairman of Albertsons/Safeway .He previously served as the COO of Microsoft from 2005 to 2016. Prior to joining Microsoft, Turner was the CEO of Sam's Club and the CIO of Walmart. He is also the former Vice Chairman of Citadel LLC and CEO of Citadel Securities " wow okay, citadel connection, sure. but what's Zayo Group? From: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/were-hedge-funds-flocking-zayo-190533381.html "The largest stake in Zayo Group Holdings Inc (NYSE:ZAYO) was held by Senator Investment Group, which reported holding $205.5 million worth of stock at the end of September. It was followed by Citadel Investment Group with a $162.9 million position. Other investors bullish on the company included Kensico Capital, Zimmer Partners, and Hunt Lane Capital.... [most] stocks had an average of 21.25 hedge funds with bullish positions and the average amount invested in these stocks was $365 million. That figure was $1248 million in ZAYO's case." Okay! that's a fine connection there. Who is Senator Investment Group, though? https://finance.yahoo.com/news/hedge-funds-aren-t-crazy-234734875.html. " VICI Properties Inc. (NYSE:VICI)[https://viciproperties.com/about-us/]. At Q3's end, a total of 37 of the hedge funds tracked by Insider Monkey held long positions in this stock, a change of -37% from the previous quarter. .Soros Fund Management with a $419.8 million position. Other investors bullish on the company included Senator Investment Group, Citadel Investment Group, and Point72 Asset Management. total hedge fund interest was cut by 22 funds in the third quarter." Okay, im going off the rails a bit. My point is, all of these Hedge funds are obviously connected. And all of them, have their fingers in a few different pots. Now lets get back on track. Now senator Investment group has large holdings in Amazon and Five Below. https://whalewisdom.com/filer/senator-investment-group-lp, among many others. I started looking into their competition and found something odd. Now i apologize, i will be referencing a lot of charts, so please google them yourself. Look at the chart for FIVE stock- it has had significant growth year after year but has followed GME chart inversely, every spike for GME correlates with a dip. This will be true for many, many other stocks. I started looking into other Brick and Mortar Companies and comparing charts. i found quite a few. Again, for sake of brevity, i will be focusing on a few. FIVE, AMAZON, Walmart, Dollar Tree- their competition is other retail brick and mortar stores. CVS, Rite Aid- their competition is pharmacies. however, target recently partnered with CVS pharmacy in 2015 for their own stores. Amazon recently wants to enter into brick and mortar pharmacy or add them to whole foods. https://www.cnbc.com/2021/05/26/cvs-walgreens-shares-fall-on-report-that-amazon-may-open-pharmacies.html. target and CVS was interesting to me, because check Citadel's institutional ownership of CVS over the years-. https://formthirteen.com/filers/0001423053-citadel-advisors/holdings/126650100?quarter=2020-12-31. Notice the spike in 2015 prior to Target announcing CVS agreement? Citadel has also created a bunch of call/put LEAPS throughout the years on Rite Aid- CVS competition. https://fintel.io/so/us/rad/citadel-advisors-llc. Citadel is also very bullish on Amazon. https://finance.yahoo.com/news/billionaire-ken-griffin-bumps-stake-123655840.html. Griffin even stated at one point he was considering moving Citadel's headquarter's because of Amazon https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/14/ken-griffin-says-hes-less-likely-to-move-citadel-to-nyc-after-amazons-heartbreaking-exit.html. ********** edit- further info i forgot to add from CVS https://www.hstong.com/news/detail/20090104245156133 " Of the funds tracked by Insider Monkey, D. E. Shaw's D E Shaw has the number one position in CVS Health Corporation (NYSE:CVS), worth close to $218.8 million, comprising 0.3% of its total 13F portfolio. Sitting at the No. 2 spot is Cliff Asness of AQR Capital Management, with a $218.6 million position; the fund has 0.4% of its 13F portfolio invested in the stock. Some other professional money managers that are bullish encompass Ken Griffin's Citadel Investment Group, Phill Gross and Robert Atchinson's Adage Capital Management and Ken Griffin's Citadel Investment Group. " https://www.fi-desk.com/chang-reported-to-leave-aqr-for-citadel/ " Citadel has confirmed that Isaac Chang, the head of trading at AQR Capital Management since 2016, will join the Citadel hedge fund in September as the firm’s first head of execution trading for fixed income. Chang’s work history combines trading on the buy-side, sell-side and high frequency trader (HFT) market making, via his position prior to AQR as global head of fixed income, currency and commodities (FICC) at HFT firm KCG, now Virtu, and in US interest rates electronic trading at Goldman Sachs.. ​ VIRTU Financial is a marker maker similar to citadel. if you google virtu and "fined" you will find many violations, one for this in particular- https://www.financemagnates.com/institutional-forex/brokerage/finra-slaps-175000-fine-at-virtu-for-not-offering-best-execution/, something our good friend Robinhood recently got in trouble for https://www.sec.gov/news/press-release/2020-321 ********** Now, Amazon bought Whole Foods a few years back. Whole Foods largest competition is Albertson's. What's interesting is Albertson's was going to merge with Rite Aid until the deal was killed after immense pressure from a certain hedge fund, Highfields Capital. https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucejapsen/2018/06/27/a-big-investor-opposes-rite-aids-albertsons-deal-amid-flat-pharmacy-growth/?sh=55f37f9c37fe Some more connections here: https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-deal-for-whole-foods-true-genius-hedge-fund-2017-7. "genius move" they called the acquisition. Remember when They killed the Rite Aid deal, and Target bought CVS? [https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/7-best-long-term-stock-picks-by-morgan-stanley](Currently, Target's shares are trading at $51.70 and are expected to reach $64 by the end of 2012....Jonathan Jacobson's Highfields Capital Management doubled its stake in TGT during the third quarter to nearly $300 million.) TGT is in the top 50 of Citadel's holdings. https://docoh.com/company/1423053/citadel-advisors-llc Now, Look at the stock charts for Rite Aid (RAD), and compare it to GME. Interesting. Now, more digging led me to find these same connections with Lowes/Home Depot. As well as BBBY and Walmart. DLTR. All of these charts, and dozens and dozens of others have the same chart patterns as GME or inverse if they are insider owned by hedges. Look at 5 yr charts and see the changes over time. Also, Circuit city was acquired and tanked by Highfields. And many, many others are currently involved. Literally, EVERYTHING that stands in the way of a long bet by these hedges are SHORTED. Wanna know what's even scarier? All of the money maker stocks connected to these hedges only started printing cash AFTER the 2008 crash- almost as if they pivoted their strategy to this. ​ WHAT THIS MEANS TLDR: What appears to me, is that several hedge funds have placed large bets on their precious money making stocks, and have over the years been systematically bankrupting, manipulating, and sabotaging the competition of the acquisitions being made for their babies. Target wants a pharmacy? destroy rite aid, place calls on CVS. Netflix wants gaming? Short GME. Amazon wants to buy movie studio? short the movies. Amazon bought a grocery chain? prevent their competition from ever growing. Rinse, repeat. GME is the one that stood against them and is fucking them up royally. However, what this means is that there is not one bomb. There are dozens of mini-GME's littered around the market. If GME goes off, the systematic margin calling will cause mini-short squeezes all over on these stocks. If you check recent SEC ownership filings, these hedges have been reducing or closing their positions in these shorted stocks like Rite Aid and Lowes (and many, many others). They are disarming these mini-bombs before the big one goes. The longer we hold, the more we buy, the closer they get a cluster bomb. We have not one Asteroid called GME heading to the Earth, but a meteor shower of smaller rocks following quickly behind. We will not have an entire market implosion. if the GME squeeze is an event that occurs over weeks, we will have the long-manipulated stocks experiencing a sudden boon with these squeezes like GME and AMC have and have benefitted from, breathing new life into these failing companies through the expense of banks, hedges, and the US Federal govt. Through their destruction, we shall have creation. Ragnarok is upon us. Audio reading thanks to /u/tyrant_tyra for those that don't want to read. https://youtu.be/0Az%5C_91MJh-4 submitted by /u/mybustersword to r/Superstonk [link] [comments]

Bit of context; I was a fairly dumb, nine year old at the time this happened. I'm 26 now. Well it begins at a small-ish, outside, family gathering on my dad's side, (my parents split up some few years earlier, and my mom had primary custody) and I had spaced myself from the other children and took up refuge beneath the adult table. It's where I got to hear all the awful rumors and jibberjabber, so why not, right? While I sat amongst rubble and dirt, I had this amazing idea to put pebbles in the ridge of my ear now and again, and treat them individually like a car on a racetrack. Again, I wasn't bright. Well. I drove one of them bitches right into my ear canal. That said, I flipped out at the idea that this object slid into my ear, and suddenly I can't remove it. Not a single adult was even aware I was under the table by this point, because of course all the brats were locked in the backyard. So when this screech of terror left my mouth, all that was heard otherwise would've beeen knees against the table and dining-ware clattering. I lost my mind. My dad yanked me up and immediately took me to the bathroom and started the hydrogen peroxide treatment to the ear, assuming it was just a panic attack, and that it was earwax agitating my ear drum or something. Probably not the most keen reaction, but the thought process was sound. Whatever really. Either way, after what seemed like hours, him, his mother, brothers, and sisters reassured me it was fine, saying it probably fell out and that I was overreacting. Okay. Sure. Let's skip ahead a bit, it was roughly a two year span between 14 and 16, and I'm in highschool. This is where the real fun begins. Equalbrium (Equilibrium) issues immerge, sprinkles of lost balance mostly. I could no longer submerge my head in water for more than a few seconds, high and low pressures made me sick. Plus general discomfort over little things like showering, sleeping, traveling. Was a nightmare, really. I get to thinking about things, and grab a simple paperclip then bend it straight, putting a little loop on the end before fishing around my ear for that "imaginary rock" I had long ago forgotten. All I hear is scrapes. Scrrch, skkkrt, shhhhh'sh. I'll admit, I immediately started to panic before running off to my mom, who rightfully rushed me to hospital while demanding why she hadn't been told up until now. That's another topic entirely. Well wouldn't you know, though? The doctor said I was faking, examined my ear, and said I just had compacted earwax and was likely trying to get out of school. Right. It was probably June at the time. My mom didn't really believe him, but I decided "balls to it. Let's get some Hydro-Perox!", because fuck hospitals really. Skip along the years a bit more, I'm 18 and I know for a fact there is something In-My-Fucking-Head. I'm losing it. So I hit the hospital again, and this time the doctor outright states, "There's definitely blockage. I'm not sure if it's a rock, but I can certainly try to help." So this Professional, pulled out this gnarly looking pair of Scissor-Hemostats and gets to just.. having his absolute way with my ear canal, trying to get a grip on this smooth object. It was audio torture, hands down. Rubbing steel to granite, but centimeters from your eardrum and this went on for at least four minutes, until my ear began to bleed lightly. The end results? "You'll need to see a specialist", the specific type eludes me, but basically it was the same guy that removes peanuts from toddler's nasal cavities. I'll admit right now, my choices here forward were dumb as all hell. The sight of my ear bleeding sent me off the deep end, and I began refusing all help entirely; only trying to remove it myself from that point on and truthfully just torturing myself when I reflect back. Let's time jump one last time. I'm 22, couple months away from 23, I have a wonderful girlfriend, things are great, but headaches have developed and are a reoccurring thing, however my balance issues have been basically been worked out. Great. But now, out of the blue, I'm losing Hand-Eye coordination. Well damn, you know? I attributed it to the rock in my fucking skull. I lost it yet again, and went on a rampage this time, demanding my girlfriend give me all her dental and dermal tools so that I could dig this chunk of earth out myself. Three different sized hooped, still sticks, a couple of mirrors, a flat ended rod and a hooked stick. But that last one was phased from the situation immediately. This was the beginning in some sense, to my 20 minute conquest to become a pro- surgeon, and I locked myself away to be alone; working and prodding these weird little hooped rods around in my ear, mostly loosening wax and grinding against the round sides of the, admittedly small, stone. Eventually the rod's end slipped absurdly close to my ear drum, and wrapped around the rock. In an instant I froze but my heart began pounding through my chest. Jackpot. Now, you see, this is a difficult feeling to explain in person, let alone through text. The pain from pulling this earwax lathered object from my ear canal was like.. a migraine shifting from my left ear to my right, while in the same sense it felt like I was passing a kidney stone from my skull. All in all, 2/10. Wouldn't do again. But now it's totally out and I have it put away in a ziplock bag. I had no real recovery issues I guess. As soon as the rock was out, my hearing was incredible in the one ear!.. for an entire day. Now it just rings occasionally. My balance won't ever be the same I feel, but it's fine enough as is. Otherwise, underwater swimming is a no-go, I have minor sensitivity to changing atmospheric air-pressure still, and I get occasional headaches around the right side of my head. Not a bad trade out. Size reference   EDIT: For everyone calling me an idiot, trust me I know. For everyone concerned about my follow through, it was 3 years ago and I've been to the hospital between then and now for basic check-ups and have mentioned the stoned-ear before. It's fine. This is why I can laugh it off. Another Edit: 9yrs old at the beginning, 22 at the removal. Had to check a few timestamps. I'm currently 26. Also, spelling   TLDR: I put a rock in my ear at 9yrs old, went to two doctors, one didn't believe me, the other couldn't help. Pulled it out myself after 13 years when I was 22 and now I can't swim underwater, storm cells give me minor headaches, and I have poor balance. submitted by /u/AurumJo to r/tifu [link] [comments]

The title pretty much says it. Most will also offer a free (or cheap, depending on the company) energy checkup, rebates for installing efficient appliances, and rebates for recycling old appliances, among other things. I just signed up for a free "Energy Saver Kit" through the Energy Trust of Oregon that contained: 8 100w-equvalent standard LEDs 4 recessed LEDs 2 high-efficiency showerheads 4 low-flow faucet aerators A single 100 watt equivalent LED will run you about $14 on Amazon, the recessed ones are even more expensive, and showerheads/aerators aren't exactly cheap either. You do the math. Obviously promotions will very depending on where you live. Here are some of the obvious utilities/affiliates around the country. Energy Trust of Oregon for the Portland/Vancouver area. Duke Energy PG&E DP&L (discounts and rebates) Seattle City Light Fort Collins Utilities (I can only find rebates here) The list goes on... I'm sure you get the idea. If your utility isn't listed, it's not because it doesn't offer this, it's just because I got lazy. Try entering something like "[your utility] free light bulbs" into Google and see what comes up. Also try seeing if your area has an "energy trust" that administers this program, like the Energy Trust of Oregon for the Portland area. And don't get discouraged if yours doesn't offer this right now. A lot of utilities do this on a rolling basis so they can run studies about adoption. Don't forget to check for rebates as well. submitted by /u/twenafeesh to r/YouShouldKnow [link] [comments]