Low Gas In Car

My ex and I (both 45) were married for 20 years and we are both successful in our careers. We had always promised our children a car when they turned 16 and got their license. We talked to them about it a lot, specifically as a reward for working hard at school and then jobs. It's something we both felt strongly about because we did not grow up with those kind of resources. When our oldest child turned 16, my ex and I had been divorced for years. After we divorced, I purchased a new car. 100% my money. About the time our oldest child got their license, I had only $7K left to pay on it (meaning I had already made more than $15K in payments on it). It was safe and under warranty, only ever driven by myself and the child - it was the car they used when learning to drive. I approached my ex about splitting the remaining $7K to give the child that car. Ex adamantly refused and said I am not paying for your car. Sent ex the loan paperwork, showing all I'd paid and all left to pay, and also suggested he could send the money directly to that bank if he didn't trust me to do it. To be clear, if my ex had agreed, he would have paid $3500 toward a $20K+ car and it would have been from "us." He said his original deal was the only option: he would pay for half of the car if we can all go shopping together and he has a say in all details of the car. I argued that we weren't going to find a car that had had no accidents, all the maintenance done, was still under warranty and had such low mileage for the $7K. Our child had already asked if they could have that car and knew their Dad and I were talking about it - child had talked about it with both of us. My ex wouldn't budge and dragged the discussions out for over a month. So I finally just decided to pay off the car and gave it to our child. I bought another car for myself. When I gave our child the car they asked about how it finally worked out. I explained the total cost of the car, the payments I'd made, the $7K, and that her Dad did not want to go in on the final payments of the car. I told her the car was from me. My ex is furious that I "robbed him" of a chance to fulfil a promise to our child. He's also mad he missed the moment our child realized/saw that the car was all theirs. He said I'm just trying to make him look bad. He believes that because he pays child support the car should be from both of us and I should have said the car was from both of us. While he has always paid child support (on time and he has been great about that), that money went for the children's day to day needs - food, daycare, activities, sports, etc. Our custody agreement is that doc visits, cars and college are to be split 50/50 when the time comes. So I believe I covered his half and he wants credit for something he had nothing to do with - all payments on the car, insurance, taxes, maintenance and gas (both before and after I gave it to them) were paid by me. AITA? submitted by /u/NervousDog1000 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

My husband got a raise at work that gives us a couple hundred extra a month. We agreed to pretend the raise didn't happen, so those extra funds would go straight into savings. Due to the rise in gas prices and other surprises, we have not been able to put that money away. I feel so powerless because everytime we are on the verge of being in a better position, the economy gets worse. How are you all doing it? Update Since so many feel compelled to shame me for my situation.. We do all the frugal things, share a car, cook my own meals, only one streaming service, switched insurance and phone plans, free/low cost activities at the library and outside. Shit, even vacations are just visiting family or camping at a state park. "Get a better job" The first sentence was literally that we got a raise. That IS an increase in income. I asked how all of you are staying afloat in hard times, not to pick apart my life and blame my choices when you don't even know me- let alone comprehend the question. Thank you to those who shared their experiences, left encouragement and advice in a respectful way. submitted by /u/snicklefart to r/Frugal [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/TheEmperorofJenks. Previous BoRU by garethp [Final New Update]: TIFU by importing bees to Uruguay + 4-Year Update NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Editor's note: please note this is a large BoRU, recapping prior posts to refresh our minds before the latest update, removed some relevant comments for space in this latest BoRU Thanks to u/czechtheboxes, u/Jenn_There_Done_That, & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for letting us know about the new update! Trigger Warnings: ableism RECAP Where to buy gourds?: July 17, 2020 I'm looking to buy ornamental gourds in bulk for a project. I need probably 1500 or so. Does anyone know of a local farm that grows them? Thanks! Commenter: Why, pray tell, do you require such a gourd hoard? I already regret asking. OOP: Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.   I am financially ruined (agricultural futures): Jan. 18, 2021 (six months later) I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months’ salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.   Market potential for gourd instruments in Great Plains region?: Jan. 19, 2021 (next day) Hey all, I've made a massive investment blunder and am faced with either selling off my futures for a loss of $10,500, or taking delivery of roughly 115,000 lbs. of ornamental gourds. Both prospects seem pretty dismal, but I figure with some entrepreneurial prowess I could make my money back. I saw on a PBS documentary three years ago that some cultures use gourd instruments pretty regularly, and I imagine it's a pretty large industry in places like Brazil. Does anyone know if the market is large enough in the US (particularly in the southern great plains region) for this to be a viable strategy? If so, how hard is it to make a flute out of a gourd? Thanks!   I've found out how to make gourds edible: Feb. 5, 2021 (nearly three weeks later) Over the last few weeks I've been experimenting with gourds almost nonstop looking to find a way to turn them around for a profit. I've come up empty. But out of hunger and sheer boredom, I did find a way to make a moderately edible dish out of your standard, thanksgiving table, ornamental gourds. Here's the recipe: - Cut all the knobs and warts off the gourd with a knife. Then use a potato peeler to take the skin off. This is really difficult and doesn't need to be perfect, but the less skin the better. - Fill a large pot with 8 cups water, one cup apple cider vinegar, 1/2 cup salt, and a bay leaf. Stir. Bring this to a rolling boil and add up to four gourds. Put a lid on the pot and boil on high for three hours. - Remove the gourds and place on a baking sheet. Cut them in half and sprinkle them with generous amounts of salt and paprika. - Broil on the top rack for 30 minutes, flipping half way through. - Remove and cut into cubes. Serve over rice.   Editor's note: the next several posts are a bit out of chronological order from the previous post, but this is to help understand a separate incident OOP has created Rhodium is skyrocketing!! Invest now for Ultimate Profit!!: Feb. 1, 2021 an image of a graph showing the cost increasing suddenly for Rhodium. Commenter 1: You know that old expression, "Buy low, sell high?" Investing at the top is how you lose money, not make it. OOP: Wrong. It will only go up. I expect it will reach 40k by mid-April. Commenter 2: That may be, but Rhodium is a fickle bitch. People following metals for a while know that Rhodium makes these moon shots every once in a while and crashes just as quickly .There was a run up at this time last year, and it crashed in March. I see it testing $10,000 again before it goes to $40k.   Where to buy custom water beds?: Feb. 2, 2021 (next day) I'm expecting huge profits on an investment I just made, so I think I'll stay in Tulsa after all. I need a new bed, and am thinking I'll be able to afford something nice after I strike it rich. I've always been intrigued by the concept of water beds, and was wondering if there's a store in Tulsa that will make you one of custom dimensions (i.e. 10 x 10 feet).   My rhodium just arrived!: Feb. 4, 2021 (two days later) an image of a piece of Rhodium in the shape of a small cube OOP purchased, along with a certificate of Authenticity Commenter 1: When did you buy in? And how much OOP: I bought it a week ago for about $4000. Paid on credit so I'm planning on selling it in a few weeks. Commenter 2: Selling in few weeks?!? What a retard. Have you even looked at the bid-ask spread? You've clearly never done this before. Well, live and learn Commenter 3: Not to burst your bubble but rhodium is not reactive and does not rust or tarnish. That material is clearly quite oxidized so either it is full of impurities, or you were sold some random chunk of scrap metal.   Any stores specializing in rare metals?: Feb. 6, 2021 (two days later) Hey Tulsa, I just bought some rhodium off the internet and am starting to get concerned it isn't legit. Does anyone know of a shop nearby that deals with rare and expensive metals? Thanks.   Is this rhodium?: Feb. 8, 2021 (two days later) an image of the Rhodium close up Commenter 1: Looks like pyrite. It would help if you took it out of the bag though. OOP: I spent over $4000 on this. Not going to take it out of the bag. What makes you think it isn't rhodium? Commenter 1: Rhodium is chemically inert and corrosion resistant. Taking it out of the bag is not going to hurt it. Rhodium does not form an oxide in the presence of air, so your rhodium should be a shiny, silvery-white color. The fact that this metal is dull and looks a bit tarnished is really not a good sign. I'm sure it's a man-made metal ingot and not pyrite if you bought it from an online seller as rhodium, but it sure doesn't look like pure rhodium to me. I would start by getting an accurate measure of its density (it should be 12.4 grams per cc). If you're going to spend that much money on metal though you should probably look into a professional identification service. Visual IDs from reddit aren't going to cut it. https://www.sigma-verifiers.com/en/how-to-verify-gold Call around to local jewelry stores or pawn shops. See if they can help you out with testing. Commenter 2: Where did you buy it from? OOP: I found it here. I'm trying to return it, but the listing is gone and customer service won't get back to me. We're currently having a huge winter storm in Tulsa so I can't have a professional jeweler look at it for a few weeks. Commenter 2: That is the Slovakian version of Wish. Jewelers aren’t going to be able to tell you anything about it. They’re gemologists by in large, and this isn’t a gem. You either need a university based geologist. And go into it already accepting that it is completely fake. This is how precious metals normally look when you buy them. They’re pressed and marked. This looks like you got a worthless chunk of nothingness. I’m going to be completely honest. This is either the greatest troll ever, or you might be too autistic to manage your own money for a while. And I don’t mean that insultingly. You’ve dug yourself very deep in the last couple of weeks and maybe you need to give the hustle a rest   It wasn't rhodium: Feb. 16, 2021 (eight days later) I'm gonna keep this short cause I'm kind of in a mood right now. I took the metal cube to a local NDT shop my buddy works at. Turns out it's pyrite, which is essentially worthless. Moral of the story? Just invest in Tesla or Amazon. This BS is ridiculous and I've had it. Editor’s note: this is the end of the rhodium incident   I have just received Uruguayan citizenship and I have some questions: Jan. 27, 2021 Hello Uruguay! My mother (wife to a Uruguayan man) has claimed her citizenship, and because of that I now have it. I have lived in Oklahoma all my life, but I speak Spanish quite well and know some of the Uruguayan culture through my stepfather. Right now I am in a not very nice situation with my finances, and I want a fresh start, so I plan to move to Uruguay in March. I have never visited your country, and I am a little worried about the transition. - How is Melo? I have acquaintances in that city, so I'm thinking of living there at first. - I don't have many strengths, but I have worked for a year in a supermarket. What industry has the most opportunities for foreigners? He preferred to work in the fields, or at least outdoors. - I have a private pilot's license (from the USA). Do you know if it is easy to transition it to a Uruguayan license? I want to fly to the Andes one day. Thank you!   How is the legality of informal beekeeping?: March 4, 2021 I'm from the US and you can keep bees here without many rules. My cousin has some beehives in his garden, and they produce a good amount of natural honey. I am moving to Uruguay soon, and I want to become something of an amateur beekeeper. What I want to know is if there are any regulations or whatever regarding beekeeping. Thank you!   Goodbye Oklahoma (and good riddance): Mar. 12, 2021 La Paloma: March 20, 2021 Transporting 200,000 bees across Uruguay is the experience of a lifetime. Mar. 29, 2021 Series of image posts showing him flying out of Oklahoma, landing at La Paloma airport and driving (presumably with 200,000 bees behind him)   Demand for mead (the alcoholic drink) in the US?: April 6, 2021 Hey America! I'm a former resident of Oklahoma, and currently one of the largest beekeepers in Uruguay by hive volume. I'm looking for ways to market honey products abroad as there is very little demand here in South America. Mead is obscenely easy to make and very lucrative profit-wise. Would anyone be interested in switching over to mead from beer if it were substantially cheaper (labor and packaging costs are essentially negligible down here). Thanks!   About to up-size my apiary. What's the best layout for my hives?: April 18, 2021 My humble apiary near Melo, Uruguay: April 30, 2021 An image post showing his bee hives before and after spreading them out and organizing them.   Editor’s note: below is the original title post TIFU by importing bees to Uruguay: May 27, 2021 This has all been happening over the last few weeks, but I’ve just gotten back to the states and had the time to take it all in. First, some context. I’m a grocery store employee from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Over the covid pandemic I was burnt out and acting impulsively. I made some risky investments which destroyed me financially. Sick of my mundane life in the great plains and with economic mobility out of reach in America, I decided to move to Uruguay where I had citizenship through my stepfather. I figured the small amount of savings I had managed to keep would go further in South America, and I’d be able to start a modest business. I had recently read a book about beekeeping, and had this romantic image in my head of a life out in the country, tending to my hives and selling honey at the local farmer’s market. The problem: I had no money or technical knowhow. I found a solution I believed could solve both of these. I entered an informal agreement with an ecology professor in Montevideo, which I believed was binding. This was my downfall. In exchange for letting his grad students conduct research on my cousin’s farm in Cerro Largo, he would pay for me to import Apis Cerana honeybees from Myanmar, and show me how to set up an apiary. These bees had never before been farmed in the region, and he believed it could make an interesting research paper. The bees arrived quickly and we soon had a respectable apiary established. Bees usually don’t start producing honey for at least a year, so I was mostly spending my time helping my cousin with his other farm projects, and trying to find a part time job in Melo. Things seemed to be going well until the professor and his team stopped showing up. I tried contacting him, but he wouldn’t return my calls either. A few days later, two MGAP agents showed up and informed me that I was under investigation for the illegal importation of an invasive species to Uruguay. I explained my situation with the university, but I think it was the professor who had turned me in. Of course, the word of a respected ecologist was taken over that of an American Jew who had arrived in the country two months prior. Turns out, the bees had shown up at a few other farms in the area. Authorities were concerned they could destroy the local colonies, which have already been on the decline recently due to climate change. I was in over my head, so I ran. I arrived at the airport paranoid out of my mind. Even though I was mostly likely in for nothing more than a hefty fine, I felt like Frank Abignale. I boarded a flight to Los Angeles and landed in the US with $14 in my bank account. My friend was able to Venmo me a hundred dollars, which unfortunately wasn’t enough to get to Tulsa. I found a flight to Seattle for $75 and took it without thinking. I am now writing this from the train out of the airport. God help me. TL;DR I imported an invasive species of honeybee to Uruguay and got in trouble with the authorities after a university professor ghosted me. Commenter: Hi, I am a Uruguayan scientific researcher, and I have been working with bees for the last twenty years. Can we please get in touch? I need to talk to you. If the story is true it can cause an ecological disaster in our country. We can prevent this, but we need to find those colonies. OOP: you will go to Bondi to cerro largo under the tallest palm tree within a 40km radius of Melo you will find a telephone. When you have it, call me. (This was translated)   I am hereby claiming Seattle for the State of Oklahoma: May 28, 2021 The Emperor is back!: June 23, 2021 Images of OOP arriving in his new home in Seattle and then promptly finding himself back in Tulsa.   Using an ant farm to generate encryption keys?: Aug. 1, 2021 I was recently sent a post about a guy talking about using an ant farm to generate random numbers for encryption keys, which he could supposedly sell to companies for a profit. I know there was that company that did a similar thing with lava lamps. Is this viable? If so, what kinds of algorithms would I need to use? How much do companies pay for random numbers like this?   Transporting ants across the country? (+gourds): Aug. 18, 2021 I'm currently negotiating the purchase of a 120-gallon ant farm from an amateur scientist in the Pacific Northwest. I live in NE Oklahoma and have no car / money. I was wondering if USPS or FedEx transports ants considering the sizeable risk of infestation? Also can they survive a long journey like that with no food? On that topic - can ants eat gourds? I'm currently growing some and thought it could be a low-cost source of nutrition.   Need ride to Seattle: Sept. 16, 2021 Would anyone be able to give me a ride to Seattle next week? I need to pick something up there and have no car. I'd be willing to pay for half the gas and am also a formidable DJ (hope you like Argentinian Rock). PM me if this sounds like a fair deal. Thanks! Edit: found someone. Commenter 1: To Seattle Washington? Are you fucking high? Get a plane ticket. OOP: I can't bring a massive ant farm back on a plane nimrod. Commenter 2: If it contains a queen you technically can't bring it back at all. Ants are considered invasive species and queens aren't supposed to cross state lines. Not to mention that offering to only pay for half the gas on a 30 hour car ride with a complete stranger is laughable. OOP: I know that's "technically" the case, which is why I can't bring it on a plane. Commenter 2: So you're just straight up hoping somebody will help you break import laws without even telling them. That's shitty AF. NVM just noticed who you were. GTFO out of here troll.   Pawnshop? (Sonic side): Sept. 29, 2021 I am in Nogales, Sonora and need to locate a pawn shop immediately. It would also be very useful if someone knows where passports are sold (ideally Canadian or German) because mine was stolen. Thank you.   Spent my last day in Mexico City gourd spotting. Some beautiful varieties, but couldn't bring myself to buy any.: Mar. 24, 2022 Three images of Gourds in shops in Mexico City Commenter: Gourd man is alive. We we’re all worried about you. What’s the next adventure? OOP: Haha, yes I'm alive. Recently came down from a 6-month bender in Mexico City. Just got back to Oklahoma and looking for something new. Probably gonna go back to working at the grocery store in the meantime tho.   Any Turkish Okies know where to get salep?: April 1, 2022 I'm trying to learn how to make dondurma so I can practice ice cream juggling, but I can't find anywhere nearby to get salep or mastic.   How to become ice cream juggler?:** April 21, 2022** Merhaba! I am an entrepreneur from Oklahoma looking to open a Turkish ice cream shop in my hometown of Tulsa. I really think there's substantial demand for it in the United States, but practically zero supply (at least in the Great Plains region). I've been working on making my own recipe for Dondurma using American ingredients, but when it comes to doing the juggling trick, I'm completely incompetent. I am planning on coming to Turkey in a couple months to hopefully learn this art form. Is it possible to become an apprentice of an ice cream vendor? How should I go about learning? Thanks!   Thoughts on Turkish Ice Cream (Dondurma): April 27, 2022 Hey guys, I'm thinking about opening up a Turkish ice cream shop and was wondering what y'all think. Thanks! Commenter 1: I would start with a cart (if possible). I don’t know what makes Turkish ice cream special, and what issues a cart or truck based platform would cause. However overhead on a cart/truck is significantly less than brick and mortar. You can start small, if you make a big enough splash with your marketing and product I can see it being very successful. Aka stable income from loyal customers and hype would bring the income needed to be successful. But what do I know, I’m just some jerk on the internet. Good luck! Commenter 2: I’d go if there were vegan options. Commenter 3: I'd never had it, I've only seen the videos of guys teasing kids taking it away from them on the street. I'd try it though! Commenter 4: I love mastic so I'm down, but it is an acquired taste. How strong does that come through?   Best dondurma in Aegean region?: May 26, 2022 Merhaba! I am coming to Turkey in a few weeks to hopefully learn to make and juggle dondurma. I am planning on mostly traveling around the Aegean region due to its geographical resemblance to my homeland of Oklahoma, and was wondering if any town around there is particularly known for its ice cream? Also, is it really true that anything goes in Izmir?   Crossing the Bosphorus in İstanbul in search of ice cream: June 15, 2022 Finding some interesting flavors for the shop I'm opening (in Mudanya, Turkey): June 17, 2022 Two image posts of him trying ice creams in Turkey   Dream came true today! Started training as a dondurma salesman in Nevşehir, Turkey!: June 26, 2022 An image of OOP working as an apprentice at an ice cream place in Turkey, with face blacked out   Does anyone have experience with the startup visa?: Sept. 1, 2022 Goedendag, I'm an entrepreneur from Oklahoma who recently spent over a month in Turkey learning to make and juggle dondurma (Turkish ice cream). I had originally planned to open a brick-and-mortar dondurma parlor in my hometown of Tulsa, but have been held back by the upfront costs. I've been unable to secure a bank loan to start my business, and so have had to reassess my plans. Instead of a shop, I'm thinking about serving my ice cream out of a cargo bicycle like this. Unfortunately, apart from a few expensive cities like NYC or Seattle, the US is extremely unsuitable for this business model due to a century of car-centered urban planning. I've heard that "bakfiets" businesses are not only viable but common in the Netherlands and so believe your country is my best option to pursue my goals. I am also increasingly disillusioned with Oklahoman / American politics and would like to leave before the 2024 election if possible. Does anyone have experience with the startup visa for entrepreneurs? I think my business idea would count as innovative, but I've heard Dutch people are particularly close-minded about foreigners. Also, if I'm being honest, I'd mostly like to move to the Netherlands to go back to university and get a proper career in tech. Would I have to keep my business operating in order to remain in the country? I plan on visiting / unofficially moving to the country in a few weeks so would appreciate any advice you all have on applying for this visa. Bedankt! Commenter: I don't know anything about the startup visa, but your plan is really out of touch with reality. It sounds like you've done shockingly little research on any of this. Moving to The Netherlands is nothing like moving to another state. You are not a member of some privileged class as an American. You do not have the right to live or work in The Netherlands. Getting any kind of residence permit takes months to years of preparation and thousands of euros (at a minimum). Just skimming the requirements for the startup visa suggests it will be difficult and expensive. Your idea will probably not qualify as innovative. It does not sound like you have enough savings to live in The Netherlands for a year. It seems unlikely that you will be able to find a facilitator willing to fund your stay. There is basically a 0% chance that you can "unofficially" move to The Netherlands when you visit. That is not the way immigrating works. If you try to illegally stay you can say goodbye to any chance of getting legal status or a visa in the future. The Netherlands is in the middle of a country-wide and absolutely crippling housing crisis. You will not find someone willing to rent to a foreigner with no income and no realistic plan or prospects of getting a residence permit. I do not mean that it will be difficult – I am trying to tell you that it is hopeless. Expats making six figures struggle to even get apartment viewings. The Dutch are not "particularly close-minded" about foreigners. It sounds like you don't even know anything about the country you're "unofficially moving to" in a few weeks. Going to a Dutch university is your realistic avenue into the country, but it will cost you roughly 10x more as a non-EU national. Again, this takes years of planning. You cannot just show up. OOP: "The Dutch are not "particularly close-minded" about foreigners." Tragically, you have disproven this statement with the very premise of your snarky comment. Also with regards to the "unofficial immigration problem," could you explain to me why the following plan won't work: I have dual US-Uruguayan citizenship and carry two passports. I could simply enter the Netherlands with one, stay for three months, then take a day trip to London and reenter with my other passport. It seems like I could continue this way in perpetuity, however I of course intend to become a naturalized Dutch citizen once my visa is approved, which I assure you it shall.   Is Zeeland suitable for a Turkish ice cream business?: Sept. 11, 2022 Hi, I'm an entrepreneur from Oklahoma who's moving to the Netherlands in about a week. I'm hoping to start a 'bakfiets' -based Turkish ice cream (dondurma) business. Over the past few days I've been researching the best city in the Netherlands in which to base my operations, and would really love some advice from you guys. In the United States, ice cream stands are commonly associated with beach towns, and I imagine it's similar in the Netherlands. However, I have come to realize my product is both niche and seasonal in its nature. Because of this, I believe staying in a single city would be unsuitable. Instead, I am planning to travel between 4 or 5 cities during the week on a fixed schedule. Not only would this let me build a larger customer base, but also generate hype my product and efficiently generate capital. Perhaps each town would have a weekly 'Dondurma Day' celebrating my arrival. Looking at the map, it seems like the Zeeland province has the best geography for this business model. While it doesn't have any large cities, it appears to have a high density of small beach towns I would be able to easily cycle between. Furthermore, its rural character would make it easier to camp overnight as I am unlikely to have a permanent home at first due to lack of citizenship and the current housing crisis. Can anyone who's been to Zeeland corroborate the soundness of this plan? Are there any cities in particular you would recommend? Thank you! Commenter: You know that NL has long cold winters, which start in a few weeks, and Zeeland is basically empty during wintertime. Camping outside campgrounds is illegal and in winter very cold. Sound like a bad idea all around especially when just starting next week. With Turkish ice cream you would probably have a higher audience during winter when selling in places with a high Turkish population, maybe beverwijk bazaar? Your plan sounds better for Spain or just turkey when trying to start during wintertime. OOP: Do you really think the camping laws will be enforced considering the current housing crisis?   Need someone to assume monthly payments on large waterbed: Sept. 13, 2022 Hey guys, I recently bought a large waterbed mattress (80" x 85") on a monthly payment plan. However, due to unexpected circumstances, I am now leaving the US for the foreseeable future. I decided to give the mattress to my mother in Sand Springs, and she has grown quite fond of it. Unfortunately, I am unable keep up the monthly payments ($174 / mo.), which last until July 2024. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to pay 85% of this in exchange for getting the bed at the end of the contract. I expect that by then I should be able to buy my mother a replacement in cash. The mattress is of excellent quality and extremely comfortable. Thanks! Commenter: You want someone to pay 85% of the cost of a new mattress in exchange for your promise to give it to them in a couple years after the new has worn off? Really? OOP: 85% is a fairly conservative estimate for the value after 2 years. Waterbeds suffer from very little depreciation due to their novelty. Commenter 2: Are you aware how abusive this is? Like do you actually think this is okay? OOP: Abusive? What are you talking about? I'm not coercing anyone into a predatory loan, simply offering an unorthodox deal on a spectacular mattress.   Does NS check if you're really 18?: Sept 21, 2022 Hello, I need to take a train tomorrow from Vlissingen to Rotterdam to hopefully purchase a bakfiets. Unfortunately I cannot afford the ~50 euro round trip cost and was hoping to get the

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Few_Sun935 in r/AmITheAsshole Trigger Warnings: narcissistic behavior, family strife   AITAH FOR BEING UPSET THAT MY FAMILY DIDN'T GET INVITED TO SIL'S BABY SHOWER? - April 27, 2026 My brother and his wife are expecting their first baby in August, they live a few towns over from where me and the rest of my family lives so we don’t see them often. We’re not super close by any means and typically talk to each other in our family group chat. We’re a pretty low pressure lower effort family. Most of our family was unable to attend their gender reveal party because it was two hours away but we extended our congratulations for them via text. We saw the pictures on Facebook and I will say it did kind of hurt seeing only my SILS family celebrating and we wish they had found a closer place so we could attend too. It felt like we were intentionally being excluded because of the distance. This ended up causing a pretty big argument with my brother and our family because we felt like they weren’t being mindful of us at all. I’ll admit we all said some pretty harsh things to them and pushed some of the blame onto my SIL which looking back it was wrong to do so. Both my mom and I have felt like they only want her family to be involved with her pregnancy and want us to stay on the sidelines which is heartbreaking for my mom. She just wants to be a good grandma and I really want to be a good aunt. Since our argument nobody has really heard from my brother or my SIL and we’ve tried to give them some space. On Saturday my BIL sent a screenshot in the group chat of a baby shower that was had and all of us were totally shocked and confused. NONE of us got an invitation to the shower and we didn’t even know they were having one. All of my SILs family was there as well as all their friends, everyone EXCEPT for us. We’re all so incredibly hurt and disgusted that they wouldn’t even acknowledge us or let us know that something like this was happening. Again, it was almost two hours away which means they didn’t even think about the distance for us and seems like they intentionally excluded us once again. We obviously called them out on it and demanded to know why we didn’t get any sort of heads up or anything, and honestly their reaction seemed pretty pathetic. They don’t see anything wrong with not inviting us or including us and tried to bring up the argument from a few months ago. We already apologized multiple times and that argument is still being thrown in our face. My mom is absolutely devastated that they’re using their pregnancy and their baby as a weapon against us and not allowing any of us to be included. AITAH for not wanting anything to do with them or their baby now??   Commenters accuse OOP of selfish behavior by her family. They say that obviously SIL didn't plan the baby shower around their family; her baby shower was planned around her location because she is the pregnant one.   u/GnomieOk4136: YTA. You made it clear that 2 hours is much too far for your "low effort" family to travel. You then decided the best choice was to tell the pregnant lady celebrating that she couldn't have it at her house and should instead totally focus on you. When that didn't happen, you pitched a fit and behaved badly. Then you gave them radio silence. Why on Earth would they invite you to anything? You acted terribly. No one is using anything as a weapon. They just don't want to be around rude narcissists. Who can blame them?   OOP's comments include: 1. It’s not fair to us tho. They didn’t even give us the option to come or not. Why is my entire family supposed to be left out or pushed to the side?   2. I’m upset because we didn’t even get the option to be included, and then we found out through social media. We apologized for arguing and missing the gender reveal and they aren’t giving us the opportunity to be included their babies life.   3. How is it being pushy to want to be included in your siblings pregnancy? Are we not allowed to want to see the baby and have a relationship a bond? Are we not allowed to take pictures with them and have those memories too? Why is it only okay for her family to get to be involved and us get put on the back burner?   4. We apologized for what we said and admitted we were just hurt because we felt like we were being excluded.   5. It’s their responsibility to have a relationship with us tho, and if they want us to have a relationship with their baby then they should put in the work   When asked why OOP's family didn't make the 2-hr drive to the gender reveal, OOP says: My mom and brother don’t have cars so they can’t drive anywhere, I’m unemployed so I don’t have the financial means to drop what I’m doing and spend a bunch on gas for one day. All our family events are here in our town, so my brother/SIL always comes here. I’ll admit we don’t reach out to people unless they reach out first which is where the low effort stems from   When asked on how OOP's family was planning on helping their brother & SIL, OOP says: We were planning on coming up a few days after the baby was born, just because we couldn’t come to a party or haven’t been openly expressive about our excitement doesn’t mean we won’t care when the baby is here   When asked if OOP's family even talks to her SIL, OOP says: You’re right we don’t talk to her, if she wants to talk then she should be the one reaching out. Are we supposed to be up her ass all the time because she wants attention?   OOP's SIL responds to the post: Hi everyone I’m the pregnant sister in law that this is about, someone sent me this post and I immediately recognized the situation to be my own as well as the username… I’m horrified that this escalated to Reddit for some kind of desperate validation. Few things I’d like to address from the post: 1.) My in laws have never expressed any interest in hosting a party for us. They are the kind of people who have zero interest in planning anything, and only want to come on someone’s else dime and hard work. 2.) We were met with dismissive comments and excuses as to why they couldn’t come they main ones being “If you want us to have a relationship with you and your baby it’s your responsibility to set things up and you need to come our way” and “Its just a party, we’ll be more involved when the baby is born” 3.) The “harsh words” from our argument were beyond harsh. They called us evil POS, claimed I was manipulating my husband by “making him choose between us and them”, insulted my parents, and said we were sabotaging their relationship with our baby. Only my MIL apologized and everyone tried to sweep it under the rug and move on. 4.) They have not shown an ounce of support other than a single congratulations, they haven’t been interested or have made any attempts to be included. But they continue to hold expectations and demands for our pregnancy and for when our baby is born. 5.) The person who made this post is very young and, she was so upset she sent her friends to text us horrible things to make us feel bad and claimed that we totally cut them off which wasn’t true. We were willing to keep them at a distance because what was said and their lack of support has been incredibly hurtful and difficult for us. We still wanted them to have a relationship once our baby is born. But after seeing the need for some kind of desperate validation or attention both my husband and I are deciding to go No Contact indefinitely.   UPDATE - April 30, 2026 Honestly I didn’t think that my post would blow up the way it did but a lot of people are asking for an update and have deemed me the TA Yes my brother and SIL saw this post and they commented their side of things. They sent me a message personally and a second message in our family group chat. They have cut us out and have blocked us on everything. We are no longer welcome in their life and are not allowed to be in the babies life. My family is devastated but we’re accepting this reality. Some things I want to clear up: •Neither my mom nor my brother/his gf have a car and have no way of traveling. I’m currently unemployed so dropping $$ for a four hour trip isn’t feasible for me right now. That’s why we weren’t able to make the gender reveal •I’ll admit that we haven’t been super involved in their pregnancy, but that’s just how my family is. When I said we were low effort I meant that, that’s how I was raised and I don’t know any different. But we’re firm believers if our presence is wanted then it’s their responsibility to set that up •Yes we said some very cruel things to them and I know we can’t take them back. That’s something that we’re all reflecting on and admit that we were wrong on. •I admit that I’ve been caught up in my own thoughts and feelings as well as my mom's. I still don’t necessarily agree with a lot but I do see my faults and have accepted that their decisions are solely based on how we acted and how we didn’t show up for them.   Commenters say it's clear that OOP missed the point completely. Her family can't be "low-effort" and still demand being catered to. They can't reap what they didn't sow.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. submitted by /u/red_earaches to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) OOP: u/AdventurousBet6537 Published on: r/relationship_advice Story is: ONGOING Story timeline Main Post: May 01, 2026 Update: May 02, 2026 Main Post May 01, 2026 I 23F think i need to move out of the house after Dad 48M requested I pay 1k a month in rent. I just made this today dont want it on my main. I 23F live at home with my Dad, Mom and younger brother and I also work from home. So here is the short version, I work for a pharmaceutical company as a data analyst and hopefully soon to be a data scientist once I finish some certifications, I have worked at this company for 3.5 years, I started as an intern and once I finished my degree I was given a full time position. My parents deal for me to live at home as an adult was to always contribute to the household, so we came up with “what contributions” to make sure there weren’t any discrepancies. Pay the light bill because I am home the most (roughly $200 a month during winter and 350 during summer…Texas) I opted to pay for the water ($150), gas ($50-80), internet ($100) My mother added for me to drive my brother around – at reasonable requests so I usually pick him up after school from practice and he plays like a million sports and is in a trillion clubs, this is until he can get a car. I also drive him to places if I can. I pay for my own cell phone, car insurance and subscriptions. I still have chores, cooking, cleaning, etc. so does my brother. Well, my dad came to me last week and asked that I start paying $500 a month (cheap yes I know) because he desnt think I contribute enough to the house. This rubbed me the wrong way because I feel that I do, I know $500 is cheap and I wont get anything cheaper out there but that will mean I will be paying 1k a month to live at home. So I said if I am going to start giving cash for living at home then I am a tenant not a family member contributing to the house. If I am going to pay rent then I want a lease, I want to be able to come and go as I please, I don’t want to pay the monthly bills because then it should be covered in my rent and the obligation of driving my brother around should also go out the window (he is my brother and I will always accommodate him because we get a long but not the point). He got upset and said I want being petty and not thinking clearly and if I leave I will not be allowed back when I realize the real world is harder than 500 a month and when I fall on my ass, he will not help me. I looked around and I can get a studio apartment or a 1 bedroom for $1200, and I get my own space and privacy and more than likely not spend too much more money. I would save on the utilities alone so it wouldn’t be that much more expensive, and I can get my desk out of my room. He has been ignoring me for the past week until today. My mom asked for me to take the day off to discuss this and didn’t want my brother home because she didn’t want him to see us arguing, which is weird because why would we be arguing and not discussing?! My mom tried to negotiate, that I don’t pay utilities and my rent is $750 a month but I still had to do chores and keep the same routine with my brother. Also, the house rule would be no noise or company past 9 pm Sunday through Thursday and midnight on Friday and Saturday unless requested a head of time and absolutely no men can spend the night or be in my room (weird because this was never an issue). My dad stayed quiet the entire time, but I could tell that he was bothered, I said that wouldn’t work because I spent money on gas to drive my bro everywhere and I don’t want it to be a rule of tenancy to be my brother’s chauffeur. That’s when my dad blew up and called me selfish and he is just trying to teach me responsibility, accountability and that me harping over giving them money just shows that I am not part of the family and want to be an outsider because I should want to help. I argued that me paying over 500 a month in bills, gas driving around my brother, and chores should be enough to show how unselfish I am, but if its necessary for him to receive payment from me then I will pay the $500 and none of the bills and I will gladly drive my brother around. My mom argued that 750 was reasonable, and I said no its not if you still want me to live here like a teenager, dad said 500 so that 500 should cover everything. My dad stormed off and my mother said I am treating this like a business negotiation and that she is disappointed in me because my dad only said 500 because I was paying other bills and only wanting to pay 500 all included is a low blow, and renting is a waste of money and they would feel better if I moved out to a purchased home. Like what?! I am not ready for that level of commitment. It’s not the money but that is a major purchase and now I feel like the trust I had with them is fractured. Before anyone asks idk if they are in financial distress, my mom is an MRI tech, and my dad is a pipe fitter. Also, if my parents where in financial distress I would help them 100%, I went to school here in the city, I have been saving 60% of my salary for the past 3.5 years and the other 40% was to my car that I paid off and my student loans (which I only have 25k left). TLDR- dad wants me to pay 1k a month and keep responsibilities, it feels like its too much and I should move out. Torn if I am making a big deal of the $750 vs $500 and if this is a hill I want to die on.   COMMENTS Valthar70 I dont know where you live but just be sure to get the deets on what else would be required for that $1200/mo 1br apartment. Normally that doesn't include utilities, or not all of them, nor does it usually include internet. Or laundry. Do you have furniture? Pots, pans, plates, utensils, toiletries, tables, bedroom set, dining stuff? Ability to also buy groceries? Not as easy as you think to outfit an entire apartment and live there and think... It's just $1200 OOP Well I do have savings, I know its going to be more expensive but it wont be large enough to make me change my mind. Alone my light bill will be roughly 75-150 depending on the apartment, gas $40, groceries for myself I pay about 150 a week because I meal prep, internet 50 dollars, water/sewage depending on the apartment. I have enough saved to fully furnish an apartment, will it suck yes but I have the money to do it and I know its more than 1k a month that they are offering. CaityR1986 I would just cut the cord and move out. It will cost a bit more than what your parents want Joh to pay then but the freedom from their rules and having to be your brother’s driver is worth every penny extra than you will be paying. It might even cut closer to even when you factor in all the gas savings you will have not having to drive your brother everywhere OOP omg this week alone I drove him around over 500 miles, I know this because I had to fill up my gas tank twice this week. School x 2, taekwondo 3x a week, swimming, then the basketball games, football games, now he wants to do swimming in the summer and work as a life guard, on top of that he takes music lessons 2x a week. his weekly in person DND night, taking him to the stores, dropping him off at the movies, mall, whatever. I love the kid but I cant wait until he gets his own license. From 4-7 its just me driving him around at least 3-4x a week. InsertCleverName652 500 miles??? That's insane. OOP It probably wasnt 500 miles but I did have to fill up my tank twice this week. I have a mazda 3 so the stopping and going the mileage is less. Our neighborhood was rezoned, so my brothers school which used to be half a mile away is now 2 miles away, and his taekwondo is a mile from our house so just on that day its 4 miles to drop and pick up and 6 miles for the extras. I would have to look at all the other stuff he has but it was 40-50 bucks to fill up. I just remember thinking damn thats a lot lol. MermaidxGlitz are you not allowed to come and go as you please now? I’d move out simply for the freedom OOP I leave as I please but its a full lecture when I return, god forbid I have brunch with the girls, or come home past midnight. I didnt mind at first because its their house their rules but now it feels more confined with their requests Unleashd99 $1k a month is not terrible amount of money but you make a very valid point. For just a few dollars more you get your independence. Which at 23 makes a ton of sense. Maybe instead of focusing on the details of what they are asking from you, you could ask your father, “Why now? What happened that made you suddenly think I needed to pay an extra $500 more?” That question might help you both to be less defensive about the specific details of the topic and find a more fruitful answer. Because you are right to request more independence as a woman at 23. And maybe he has a good reason for what he is suddenly demanding too and we just haven’t heard it yet. Or maybe he just really wants you out of the house. You won’t know unless you ask. It seems unlikely that it could make things worse by asking. OOP I tried asking and he wont answer, he is pretty stubborn and when he thinks he is being challenged or undermined he shuts down and gives you the cold shoulder and my mom has to mediate. I heard them on the phone talking about me because he went for a drive and he said I was stubborn. Maybe I am stubborn, maybe if they would have had a talk with me about it I wouldnt be so defensive. But he is a blue collar man and he speaks like he is barking orders and once you say no or dont agree with the tone he will double down and it becomes a screaming match. OOP to a long thread No men have ever stepped in my room, now what I do outside of my house is my business thats the unspoken rule. Honestly 750 isnt horrible, but when he started it as a demand and said I didnt do enough without explanation and me not backing down it escalated. My parents are not rich they ok. My dad is 49 and my mom is 48 and my brother is 15 about to be 16. Electrical_Ad_947 (downvoted) Who paid for you to go to university? OOP scholarships, loans and working through school. They would help if I was in need for like gas, food, and the occasional books or extras. Scholarships paid 70% of school. Update - next day May 02, 2026 Update: My parents are just ridiculous and I am going to look for apartments this weekend So its 545 right now and my Dad is getting the full exposure of driving around my brother and my Mom and I had a conversation as to what happened which solidified that living here will just end up to us having a horrible relationship. My dad as previously mentioned is a pipe fitter in the union, sometimes he has to travel for work but not all the time and he works long hours so he doesn’t see everything that happens. Now to the update. 3 years ago when I went from intern to full time I was making 62k a year as entry level and that was generous because they already knew my work. Well last year a position opened up and I was offered the position now making 82k a year and quarterly bonuses up to 10%, I have never received the full 10% because I didn’t see the value of working 60 hours for an extra paycheck a month. Last week my dad was home more than usual and just saw me holed up in my room “doing nothing just staring at a computer and watching netflix” well I had a grey’s anatomy running in the background but I always shut it off when I am in meetings and its just comforting to hear other voices in the house when you are alone all the time. When I left for my brother my dad walked in my room and saw my W2 and that my gross last year was 78k (promotion money included) and he asked my mom how much am I contributing to the house and she said well she doesn’t give any money. Well that was enough for him to say I wasn’t contributing, no follow up questions. He also forgot that I was paying the utilities – why? Because my mom handles all the bills. When he told me I had to pay because I am not contributing enough he thought I was just picking up my brother, doing chores and cooking twice a week for dinner. So when I pushed back saying I pay bills, pick up my brother, drive him around 3-4x a week between 4-7, give him money when he is short for food and take him out to eat during the outings, plus everything else, he got flustered and thought I was exaggerating and doubled down. The silent treatment for the whole week he was asking my mom and brother to “validate” and when they did he got even more mad that he didn’t know all this because its obviously my fault for not ANNOUCING it to the world. During the 1st conversation of the 750 and driving my brother around was my mom being selfish because she knew it would fall on her and teaching him to drive! But I explained he knows how to drive, he went to driving school and has a learners permit so when he is with me I do let him drive to get comfortable. She didn’t realize that he completed his courses which again is weird to me because SHE literally signed him up! Even with all this my dad biggest issue is that I no longer need them which is not true, you always need your parents. But after this back and forth and reading a lot of the comments, and me saying my dad has quirks or shuts down I just come to realize he and I trigger each other so much. He and I will get into a screaming match because he refuses to admit he is wrong and I refuse to let him walk all over me, but I know how to apologize as well HE DOESN’T, he will just pretend like it didn’t happen. This is just not going to work out. She finally agreed to it and will speak to my dad because it will just continue to escalate. I did offer for them to come and walk some apartments with me so they feel involved and my mom said yes but she will see what my dad will say because he doesn’t want me to move out and is really upset that I wont back down from that. But I honestly don’t see us coming back from what happened this past week and today, I know it will just escalate – I haven’t even addressed why he was in my room and looking through my stuff to see my W2’s. Right now my dad is getting frustrated driving around to just wait on my brother and then drive again in high traffic times, which has been my life for 3 years. The only difference is that when I took that role/responsibility my brother was only 13 years old so he didn’t have a lot of extra circulars. My mom knew but she was happy with the arrangement because she didn’t have to deal with it. She also apologized for her role in saying that I am trying to negotiate because she understands that I do a lot for my brother and that will fall on them at least until he gets his license. Once I move out depending on where I move I wouldn’t mind helping out and driving him around maybe once or twice a week because I do enjoy spending time with him and so do my friends. Once a week after once of his extras we go to Chili’s and eat and hang out with my friends and I know I would miss him too much if I just stop being around him. There are so many times we just sit in the car eat and laugh or gossip. But hopefully we find something this weekend and I can move within the next month. Hopefully my dad and I will be on speaking terms by the time I move out. I am going to step away and go get dinner with my friends and just get it off my mind.   COMMENTS OOP to a long thread ugh yes we are Mexican American. My mom's family is from Texas before it was Texas and my dad is 1st generation. Informal_Meeting_577 Serious question, if you've been living at home, and getting paid 60k then 85k, why not just buy a home? Should you not have significant savings at this point? OOP There are few reasons not to buy a house right now. Yes I have savings but the savings will be a full down payment and leave me with little money to cover 6 months. I bought a car because I needed that and paying my student loans so this past year it has been saving and student loans. In houston if I want to buy a decent home in a decent area the avg is 300k plus unless I look at town homes etc. I did look once I received a pay increase to see what I would need and it would be somewhere between 55k-65k for 20% down because I dont want PMI.   This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading. Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved. submitted by /u/BigONerd to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/sparkle_fairy458 Originally posted to r/AITAH WIBTAH if I refused to run errands for my parents anymore? Editor’s note: changed letters to names for ease of readability Thanks to u/NotayourDadBR for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: manipulation, entitlement, possible financial infidelity Original Post: April 27, 2026 THROWAWAY ACCOUNT! Hey guys! I {28f} have absolutely had it with being used by my parents. So a bit of context: I live very close to my parents. I have two children under the age of 6 and a husband. My husband works abroad, so most of the time it's just me and my littles. I work from home and I work 8 hours a day for four days a week. We do well for ourselves. A few months ago, my car decided it was going to have engine problems and just shit out on me. So while I was shopping around for a replacement, my father decided to help me out with a used car that him and my mother owned. It's an SUV very spacious. And honestly they weren't going to be using it anymore considering my father takes the company car home from his job. Not only that but they were finally gonna fix their Nissan for my dad. Now I do need to include the amount of vehicles they have. 2 Chevys, 1 Nissan, and the SUV they gave me. Now because my father taught me responsibility I absolutely didn't want to take it for free, so I bargained with my dad to help him out. They had paid $3300 for the SUV when they got it. But it needed several repairs. (2 Window regulators, side mirror, ac, etc.) A few minor things. So my dad and I agreed that I would pay $1500 for it and just promise to take care of it. Which of course I do and have. So he signed it over to me and I got it in my name immediately, insurance, tag etc. Now because I had to get the repairs done (just one regulator was almost $600 for the part and the labor cost) my dad agreed to let me do $100 a month or more depending on what I want to do that month. I agreed and handed him $500 right there as the first payment. (It's been about 4 months now and I have paid him a total of $950 out of the $1500 for the SUV.) Last month my youngest brother {15m} was at school (his school is 6 minutes from my parents’ house), and he got caught vaping on a THC pen with his buddy from school. So he got "sentenced" to alternative school which is an hour drive from my parents’ house. And the little friend of his that got it with him is their neighbor and his mother doesn't have a working vehicle either, so the boys just go together with my mom normally. They have to be at the alternative school at 7:45 am every morning and picked up at 12:30 pm every afternoon. (This is relevant I promise) Now in the last four months I've had this SUV, my mother has used me as a personal assistant. Why you might ask? I DONT KNOW. But at first it wasn't a lot. Just little hey are you out? Can you stop by the store and grab this and bring it to me? Etc. just small stuff. And recently my grandmother had a surgery hours away, so my mom needed me to pick up my brother and his friend and bring them to the alternative school for 3 days. No biggie. Of course mom I've got you. But I did ask them for gas money. Since I was taking my brother and his friend in my car with my gas and I had just filled it up. My dad gave me 50 one time. (The SUV takes 65 to fill up and the drive to the school being an hour there and an hour back takes about a quarter and a half of my tank each trip) Still I didn't make a big deal of it since it was only 3 days. Now here's where I might be an AH. After those three days my parents have asked me to take my brother and his friend to this alternative school EVERY DAY coming up with excuses and while my dad works my mom is at home laying on the couch. Now I'm sure she gets up during the day, but when I leave she's in the same spot as she is when I come back. No they have not given me anymore gas money. And on top of all of that I've had to still work, take my kids to their appointments, take them to school, etc. Gas is extremely expensive right now and we aren’t broke but I just don't have the extra funds to constantly be filling up my tank and not getting any help but one time. I'm so fed up and I feel like I'm being used. So WIBTAH if I just refused to run errands for my parents? AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was unanimously NTA Relevant Comments Commenter 1: You should have buy a car from a dealer without strings. OOP: Yeah I sometimes wish I did. Commenter 2: If you're doing so well financially, why can't you afford to pay $1500 cash for an old junker from your parents? Also I don't understand how a school in your district would be an hour each direction plus only a half day. Doesn't make any sense that you're driving four hours per day on high school transportation. The kid needs to get a hardship license OOP: We are doing well enough to make it. But these trips and constantly having to drive while gas is as expensive as it is tearing down our money fast. And I was going to buy it outright for the $1500 but when my dad offered the payment plan my husband and I had agreed that it would help us get the repairs done and not completely clear out our bank account while doing so. Commenter 3: Daughter: Ask the question; what’s wrong with mom? Why isn’t she motivated to get off the sofa? Talk with your brother, find out what’s going on in the house? Are your parents actively caring for him, prep meals, clean house, wash clothes???? Before you cut off your services at least try to find out if your family really needs help. OOP: My little brother is very much a trouble maker. He has been in trouble countless times for several things because he wants to "fit in" but he's choosing the wrong the crowd to hang with. And honestly I don't know what's going on with mom. Commenter 4: Is the mother of the other boy giving you gas money? Because she absolutely should be. Also, “no” is a perfectly acceptable response to unreasonable requests regardless of their past helpfulness to you. OOP: I haven't gotten a penny from the boy’s mother. But as much as the boy is a trouble maker he tried to give me his $5 for lunch one day because I bought the boys breakfast on the first day. He's a sweet kid. I didn't take his money of course. Is OOP's mother taking care of her grandma? OOP: No grandma is at home, and my uncle lives with them and has been taking care of her.   Update #1: April 28, 2026 (next day) UPDATE: WIBTAH if I refused to run errands for my parents anymore? Here's an update for you guys. Yesterday I asked you guys if I WBTAH if I stopped running errands for my parents. Here's what happened. So after talking to my husband and taking y'all's advice, we've decided we will be paying off the SUV. It's only $550 left so it won't be a huge financial hit, but it'll definitely put a dent in the bank account. So this morning, my mother had asked me again to take my brother and his friend to school. I of course said sure, but I'll need gas money. Mom said oh okay well in that case I can just take your SUV for the day and fill it up for you. Now I know my mother. She is the type of woman that will run her gas tank all the way empty and waste her money on other things (cigs, clothes, etc.) before putting it in gas. She also has asked to borrow my car (the one that shit out on me) before and it had a full tank. When she took it she was gone all day, I missed a very important ultrasound for my youngest, and when I got it back it was damn near on E. So I wasn't too willing to let her just take my SUV. So I said no mom. I can take them, but I need gas money, otherwise he's going to have to take a bus or Uber. This is how that convo went. Mom: "Honey I don't understand we gave you gas money." Me: "Yes mama, for the three days I had to and it was only 50. You haven't given me any since and I've been taking them every day." Mom: "50 is a lot of money, you should've made it last." Me: "50 IS a lot of money mama, but that's my point. Driving Henry and Grayson to school every day takes at least a quarter and a half of my tank each trip." Mom: "Okay well I'll just take it and fill it up for you then." Me: "Mama, no. I can take them just please give me gas money." Mom: "This is ridiculous." Me: "It's either you give me gas money or Grayson is just gonna have to take the bus or an Uber." Mom: "Excuse me?!" Me: "Mama I know you. You've borrowed my vehicle before multiple times and each time it goes from a full tank to damn near empty, and you have given me zero compensation for those times. I don't mind helping you mama, but there is a line where help becomes too much and is turning into being used. And right now I feel like you are using me. I feel like y'all only let me buy the SUV so I could be your little errand girl. It's not fair to me, my children, nor my husband. I have a job, my babies have school and appointments, and taking Grayson and Henry to school is affecting our lives and my job negatively." Mom: "I'm calling your father." *Hangs up* About three hours later I get a call from my dad. Here's how that convo went: Me: "Hey dad." Dad: "Hey honey what's going on?" Me: *explains the same thing I told mama* Dad: "Well firstly, I gave her gas money to give to you multiple times. I have just had in cash and not on my card lately, so I gave it to your mother to give to you every morning. Secondly, I absolutely did not let you buy the SUV to be our errand runner. And lastly, Henry's mama was supposed to be giving you money as well." Me: "well dad I haven't received any money unfortunately. And it's affecting my job and the kids schedule. I just can't keep driving 4 hours a day." Dad: "Okay honey. Then don't. I'm sorry. I'll get to the bottom of everything and talk to you later. You didn't take your brother today did you?" Me: "No sir." Dad: "Good, ttyl honey." As of right now, as far as I know from gathering info from my brother, Dad said that Grayson would be paying for an Uber by working for my dad for the whole summer. He won't be getting to do anything but work this summer. As for Henry, he will also be working for my dad the whole summer. Honestly I think some good honest work would be good for the both of them. Mom had a meltdown because Dad found out she was pocketing the money and she won't tell him where it's at. As of right now I don't have any extra info on that part. And my dad has decided that instead of paying the last $550 it's considered PAID OFF. Woohoo! So that's all I have for you guys, I appreciate all your help and comments and helping me grow a shiny new backbone 😊. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I don’t get it, how does she get to your vehicle if they have several at home? I take it the boys aren’t old enough for drivers licenses yet? OOP: Grayson has his permit, but my dad won't let him drive because he will just go joy-riding instead of going to the alternative school. (He did the first week of alternative school) Henry I am not sure if he has one, but they only have one car and it's run down. Commenter 2: Dad found out she was pocketing the money, and she won't tell him where it's at Mom's got a gambling and/or shopping problem. Betting if Dad starts checking the accounts and cards, there'll be a lot of other money missing. OOP: I'm starting to think that too. But idk I'm trying to get more info out of my other brother.   Editor’s note: OOP made the next two updates on to the same post with the first update Update #2: April 28, 2026 (same post, same day, hours later) EDIT TO ADD UPDATE #2: Okay firstly thank you all again for your comments and support! MANY of you wanted the update on where the money went. Well here's the tea: My other brother (18m we will call him Tyler) lives with them so he's my primary source of info on this update. He said that when he got home from work, my parents were at the table. Tyler said that Dad was calm, but Mom was crying. So Tyler went upstairs and set his stuff down and kinda hovered over the balcony to see if he could hear what was going on. According to Tyler this is how their convo went: Dad: "honey where is the money you were supposed to give (OP)?" Mom: "I gave it to her!" Dad: "No you didn't. And honestly dear this isn't the first time money has been missing." Mom: "What are you accusing me of (Dad's real name)?!?" Dad: "I'm not accusing you, I'm asking for your honesty and your reaction is only solidifying my suspicion." Mom: "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?" Dad: "Where did you go the other night?" Mom: "I didn't go anywhere!" Dad: "I woke up at 2 am that night and you were nowhere to be found." Mom: apparently bawling her eyes out and screams something incoherent Dad: "Calm down and breathe. All I want is honesty." Mom: grabs car keys and runs out the door still incoherent That's all I got so far! I'll keep you guys posted! Relevant Comments Commenter 1: What do you think she has done with it? Could it be cheating? Gambling? Addiction to Drugs? Another family? I’m too invested! OOP: Tyler and I are betting she's messing around Commenter 2: What’s the chances she’s paying for either a side piece or drugs? OOP: Drugs I doubt, but the way she's acting both Tyler and I think she's messing around. Dad hasn't said anything to Tyler when Tyler asked if everything was okay. According to Tyler, Dad looked drained and he went to bed.   Final Update: April 29, 2026 (next day) EDIT TO ADD UPDATE #3: Okay this is the final update. I just got off the phone with my dad. Three things happened. 1) Mom came home this morning at 4am and my dad was waiting for her. 2) He served her divorce papers. Apparently it's been a long time coming. (Not sure if he gave her actual divorce papers or if he just told her he's divorcing her and showed his legal paperwork. I am just relaying what I was told.) 3) He told me about her affair. She's been seeing someone for the last 3 years right under his nose and only found out when on her laptop. He said he never suspected anything because the money that went missing was little bits at a time and mom always had an excuse. But when he noticed she wasn't showing up with the things she said she was buying he started a tally of times she took money and how much. This had been going on for at least a year when my dad found out about her hiding money. So his first reaction was much like most of y'all. She's gambling. But when he started tracking her location via her cars GPS she had never gone to the casinos. She went to her friend Karen's house. Dad had confronted Karen about why mom was gone at night and if they were spending money and Karen covered for mom saying she doesn't know anything about the money but that her and mom were just hanging out when Mom got super stressed. Well you'll never guess the next part. The affair she was having was with Karen and Karen's husband. The money was used for sex toys etc. Apparently dad found about this affair 5 months ago and had divorce papers already drawn up. When my mom got home at 4am he gave her the paperwork and copies of all his evidence against her. He just didn't think that she would stoop so low to steal money from me for my gas. That's the final update, they are getting a divorce and obviously I'm shocked and disgusted. And my brothers are just as shocked.   Editor’s note: Marking this concluded as the issue has been resolved and OOP has deleted this account   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]