Mother Of The Groom Dresses

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... local dress shop with Mother of the Bride and Groom outfit advice. I... better option even though their dresses seem to start at £600...

... remind the bride that the groom had once courted her as ... dress (he called all her dresses beautiful so she was certain ... softens your armour while his mother and sister slip the knife ... important bit. "Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am ...

... dresser and pulled it open. Dresses. Only dresses. A quiet huff escaped... are coming with us?" "Your mother wouldn't let me be with... stone of the yard. A groom appeared at her side with ... eye. "She's called Mira," the groom offered. "Mira," Lyarra repeated, and ... grace but from repetition. The groom blinked. She didn't notice. Around ...

... that looked wholly inappropriate for mother of the groom. It’s just that there’s been..., where they will be married, dresses she’s tried on, they had ...

... wedding gowns, the long white dresses she'd only seen in through... always spoken of the submissive mother, and the dominant father. For... his children. And the selfless mother who worried sick over her... down a dog while I groom it." A dog? "Can't you...

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/glitterglazegloo Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1 [New Update - 1 Year Later]: AITAH for telling my mom “I’m used to it” after my parents ruined the surprise of my engagement and the wedding dress? Trigger Warnings: entitlement, manipulation, neglect RECAP Original Post: April 26, 2025 I (27F) am getting married in September 2025. I’m in a long distance relationship. My partner lives in England and I’m in the US. We’re lucky enough that I work remote and visit about 3 times a year for six weeks at a time, and he visits me in the US about four times a year for once a week. When he was planning to propose, he had asked my parents blessing in March 2024. My parents had “assumed” that I would know when he was proposing, and my dad had told me in a conversation that following week he was proposing in December 2024. As you could imagine, I was upset. My mother invalidated my feelings and said I was making it a big deal and being stupid for not assuming it was going to be during Christmas because that’s when both of our families were together. My argument is that while I could have had a hunch, I didn’t want to be told when it was, and basically could have gone practically a whole year wondering excitedly when it would be. For all I know, he could’ve proposed before that, and Christmas we would have had an engagement party. Anyway, basically my dad apologized but my mom has stood firm on saying I’m dramatic for being upset. Since then, more things have gone wrong, and has started to leave me just so sad about wedding planning. None of this has been a good experience and I’ve started to feel like it’s a chore. Flash forward to today, my partner is visiting (just for one week.) and we’re all sitting on the couch in the living room. My mom randomly turns to me and goes, “Have you picked up your veil from the bridal store yet?” Right in front of him. And then my partner smiles and goes, oh, you’re wearing a veil? And I just got super frustrated. There are only two surprises in a wedding— the engagement and the dress. And both of them have been handled so carelessly. So I turned to my mom and said, can you please not mention anything about the dress? Not the shoes, nothing. I don’t want him knowing anything. She rolls her eyes, walks around, and about 10 minutes later gives a half-hearted apology just saying, “Sorry, OP.” And I replied, “it’s fine. I’m used to it at this point.” And now she’s gone back and locked herself in the room. So I guess, AITA for being upset? EDIT: I know a lot of people are asking if this is like her— it isn’t. She has already had one of her four daughters get married, I’m the second. She never ruined the engagement or the dress. And she seemed to care a whole lot more about her than she has me during this time. Second EDIT: Nowadays a lot of brides opt to wear veils, tiaras, sometimes hats, or embellishments, or nothing at all. I forgot to mention that my fiancé had told me he didn’t want to know if I was wearing a veil or anything and wanted it all to be a surprise. Since he’s very mild tempered and sweet, he was surprised but was trying to be nice in his reaction because he knew I’d be upset. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Are you the scapegoat of the family? Because her bullshit smells of personality disorder. OOP: Her mom has borderline personality disorder and is a narcissist. My mom exhibits a lot of those qualities too. Commenter 2: If you're going to elope, then know that you have to do the prep work in advance. You can't visit the UK and just get married. OOP: Yes I know! We’ve started looking into the requirements Commenter 3: But...why are you even sharing anything with them when it’s so blatantly obvious that they don't care to keep these secrets? you need to accept that your parents are lousy parents to you. Do not share anything about the wedding with them anymore. They're not invited to the dress fittings, don't know what you'll buy or wear, and they most certainly won't be told any secrets. Does it suck? Oh yeah obviously. But look at what happened? No matter how much you beg and plead you'll always be the one "overreacting" and being the one out of line. If they ask why you're not telling them anything or trusting them with anything you can tell them that they've repeatedly shown you that they do not care about making you happy. So you stopped caring about involving them. They still have two other daughters to show they care. And from their track record it looks like they might actually care more about them than about you. but be prepared to have your sisters get involved or share secrets with your parents (so no involving them either) or try to admonish you for "hurting them" OOP: I’ve definitely decided to not include any family members, because my sisters definitely would tell my mother anything I said.   Update #1: April 27, 2025 (next day) So for context, a lot of things have gone wrong since we have been in talks of getting engaged. Obviously my dad had told me about the engagement, but then other things went wrong like: my partner’s sister causing drama the day before our engagement, the day of our engagement going horribly wrong to the point my partner told me he’d propose again, finding out last month that my partners dad got remarried a year ago in secret (we didn’t even know he was dating anyone) and him asking for a plus one for the wife no one had even heard of (while also telling my partner he’s ridiculous for being upset because it isn’t a big deal), and my best friend bailing on my bachelorette for someone else’s. So it’s safe to say that since December, it’s been stressful. And those are only the bigger issues I mentioned. I know everyone was saying my mom should be on an info diet— she already was by her own choice! She hasn’t asked or been part of anything by her own design and it’s felt like she couldn’t care less about the wedding. The only time she cared was when she found out we were only inviting 40 people and people she wanted there weren’t invited (like her friends, who I barely see or know, and her brother and cousin, who I both haven’t seen since I was 11). That’s when she insisted on paying for them so they could come. And that’s the only time she’s asked about anything having to do with the wedding, or to be honest, anything involving me. She hasn’t checked in to see if me and my partner are okay, given all of the other stuff that has happened, either. So I ended up speaking with my mom a little while after what happened, and I told her that while I know I shouldn’t have said “I’m used to it,” that ultimately I’m upset because it seems nothing has gone right. She seemed apologetic at first and said she didn’t know why she said that and knew that she shouldn’t have. I nodded and said just please don’t say anything else regarding what you know about the dress. (She was there when I got the dress and veil with my sisters) I then told her that I’m just tired of things going wrong, and that my partner and I have felt super unsupported and alone. She responded back starting her sentence with, “OP, only a handful of things have happened. I feel like you’re looking for things to be upset about at this point.” And to be honest, when she said that, I kind of lost it. I basically said that I didn’t go looking for any of this, and all of these things that have happened to my fiancé and I were out of our control. Like, you’re the one who brought up the veil, not me. I didn’t go looking for any of these issues. I definitely didn’t go looking for my partners dad (who has been single for 15 years) to not only lie about dating but secretly go get married and not tell his son for a year. I told her that if there was one problem, then fine, I’d have handled it and moved on, but that the repeated offenses have hurt me and I’ve been trying to get over what’s occurred but something else happens to make the wedding planning even harder. I told her that I’ve felt super alone during a time that’s supposed to be joyful, and that her carelessness and thoughtlessness has been super hurtful, especially when she’s continually invalidated my feelings. She shrugged and said that she’s done nothing and she’s not going to talk to me or ask about me about the other problems going on because I’ve been upset and she doesn’t want to deal with it. lol. After a lot of your comments, I realized that I definitely was attempting to include someone who has shown not only should they not be, but they don’t want to be. My partner leaves back to the UK today, but at this point I’m considering eloping with him (if I can) when I’m visiting him in England in May. We’ve already paid half of what we owe to our venue and photographer, so cancelling isn’t really an option, but maybe we’ll have just the reception instead of the ceremony. Thank you to the commenters who pointed out that if we ever have children, to keep the important moments to ourselves of gender or birth date or names. I think you’re right, and my mom has pretty much ensured she will be on a permanent info diet for as long as she’s in my life, because if not, she’ll more than likely spoil it and then invalidate my feelings. I think ultimately it wasn’t about the veil for me. I know my partner will still be surprised, I’m just sad because he told me he didn’t want an idea of anything and wanted to be completely clueless about what I would be wearing. But ultimately this was about the continued thoughtlessness and invalidation that’s pretty much been the theme for the last four months. If my mom had said she was sorry and left it, it would’ve been fine. But acting like I went looking to be upset when she randomly ruins yet another detail is just wild to me. EDIT: I also forgot to say, yes, I am moving to England! We are hoping to make that jump at the beginning of 2026. Second EDIT: I know a lot of people are saying completely cancel the venue, but we already have friends and family from my fiancés side who have bought their flight tickets to come (at least 10 have already confirmed). I don’t think I have the heart in me to cost people that kind of money when they’ve already invested into this. Third edit lol: I’m not sure if my mom cares that I’m moving. I am in England for six to eight weeks at a time every few months, so she’s already used to me leaving for a significant amount of time. She doesn’t seem sad I’m leaving, and if anything has said she understands why I’m moving. If she is sad, or that’s the real reason behind all of this, I’d actually be super surprised. I won’t rule it out, but my mom isn’t the type to care about that sort of thing. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Have you looked into the visas? I moved to the UK 18 years ago it can be stressful dealing with immigration and expensive OOP: Yes! I’m a little worried but I think we’ll be fine. Original plan was to get married, do long distance a little more, and then for me to apply for residency and move over there. Thankfully he is over the financial threshold for me to move. Commenter 2: Honestly I'm trying to figure out what the big deal is that your fiancé's father got married? How does that affect you? It doesn't. What's the big deal about knowing that you'll be wearing a veil? It's just a piece of fabric and odds are most women wear veils. Sorry but IMO it does seem like you're making a big deal out of stuff you have no control over. You need to just ignore the stuff around you and enjoy your wedding. Although I will say your BF? She's an AH. How could she do that?? I hope you uninvited her from the wedding. OOP: His dad didn’t tell anyone he was married. He randomly told my fiancé last month because he wanted to ask for a plus one, and when my fiancé asked why he needed a plus one, he finally had to fess up he’d married someone and didn’t tell anyone. My fiancé was rightfully hurt by that, he didn’t even know his dad was dating anyone. If your dad, who you were close with, didn’t even mention he remarried someone a year ago, I think you’d be shocked too. It also created tension because my fiancé’s parents don’t speak already, and they are both unpredictable people. His dad also said he would more than likely leave the wedding early and that he refused to meet with the mom beforehand to prevent any issues on the wedding day. Caused a lot of drama and he uninvited his dad from the wedding because of it. The veil was frustrating because it was obviously another thing my parents revealed. My fiancé didn’t want to know a single thing or hint over what I was wearing. And yes, lol. Best friend has been uninvited. OOP on her fiancé helping with the wedding planning and how the stress has been affecting him with his own family issues OOP: My fiancé does what he can to help with wedding planning all the way from England. He’s definitely involved in this, and every time he visits we have ironed out as many details as we can. To clarify, I am not directly involved with his dad, but obviously I love my partner and support him, and it has been a source of stress. You may have missed my other comments, but the problem is my fiancé’s family has a lot of tension. His mom and sister don’t speak to his dad, and haven’t for over 10 years. Already there were concerns about what their behavior would be like at the wedding because the three of them are all very unpredictable people (his sister had caused a bunch of drama the day before our engagement for instance) and it’s totally feasible that they would have drama on our wedding day. My fiancé didn’t even know his dad had been dating anyone. When my fiancé went to go meet him for a coffee catchup, his dad asked for a plus one. My fiancé was confused, because our wedding is small, and we hadn’t accounted for him wanting one. When he asked his dad why, his dad beat around the bush until finally admitting he’d married someone in secret a year ago, and literally no one, I mean NO ONE knew. Not only that, but his dad in the same breath, essentially said that he wasn’t going to meet up with the mom & sister prior to the wedding (which my fiancé requested so the wedding wouldn’t be the initial shock of seeing each other and could avoid problems) and that he’d also probably leave our wedding early. My fiancé was, understandably, shocked. His dad basically said my fiancé was ridiculous for being confused and upset and he should get over it. While it isn’t my dad, my fiancé and I are each other’s support systems, and it’s been distressing information for him to find out. How would you feel if your dad had been married for a year and you didn’t even know he was seeing anyone? Regardless, it DOES affect me, since it’s our wedding. It’s another person who has brought a stressful element into planning, and my fiancé had to make the difficult decision to disinvite him from the wedding to keep peace, since his dad and mom are unpredictable and his dad has already provided a hint and a half he will be difficult and only cares about his own interests. OOP responds to a longer comment regarding her parents spoiling the surprises and the moods for the engagement and wedding planning OOP: My parents are not that old, they’re both in their mid-50s, and both are mentally fine and healthy. They also have had another daughter get married previously to me, so this isn’t their first rodeo. I didn’t go looking to blame my mom for what my dad did. But my mom DID make him think that I knew when the proposal was. When my fiancé asked for their blessing, that night they had been discussing. My dad made a comment that he thought I didn’t know, and my mom said that of course I knew. So my dad thought it was fine to say to me. Not only that, she brought it upon herself from the get-go to say that I was ridiculous for being upset and it’s not a big deal. I never blamed her for what happened, but I do think it’s shitty to take it upon yourself to seek me out to tell me I’m ridiculous for privately being sad. So not only did she not apologize for her assumptions, but went out of her way to tell me I’m ridiculous. I think there’s a lot of assumptions here in your reply. I think my dad was good natured and really felt awful. My mom was indignant that my feelings had no place. I think, when you’re the one who causes the confusion, and you go out of your way to invalidate someone’s feelings, you become part of the problem. Ultimately I’d be happier having a parent who made me feel valued and loved and like my feelings had a place, and get to experience a lovely relationship like the one you’re describing, than my parent who makes me feel ignored, unheard, and ultimately just all around invisible. Just because someone is alive doesn’t mean they are instantly better. I’m sorry and my condolences about your dad.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update #2: April 24, 2026 (nearly one year later!) UPDATE: AITAH for telling my mom “I’m used to it” after my parents ruined the surprise of my engagement and wedding dress? A few people over the last few months have been asking, so here’s the update! A lot of you will be disappointed to know that we did not end up eloping or cancelling the wedding. It’s easy on the internet to say to cancel, but I couldn’t take the idea of giving up the $13,000 I’d already invested into it lol. While there were definitely some hiccups along the way, my husband and I had decided to not let anyone’s pettiness or juvenile behavior bother us anymore, or dictate our special day. Thankfully, I didn’t deal with much more from my side. While my mom never really apologized, or acknowledged how I felt, I remembered something a therapist had said to me about her a long time ago: Why are you surprised by this? She’s been the exact same person she’s shown you she is. You’re angry because you expected something different, but she’s shown you she’ll never be different. I love my mom, and she’s a great mom, but she also has major flaws and she’s hurt my feelings a lot. Ultimately, in the last year, I’ve grown to accept that she is who she is, and I shouldn’t keep giving her the space to hurt me. As a lot of you suggested, I’ve implemented the grey rock method like crazy. And you know what’s funny? She hardly knows anything about my life anymore, and she doesn’t seem to mind. It’s a win-win. My poor husband did endure a lot of issues as well at the same time, and had one last tiff on his side, which resulted in him not doing a mother/son dance. Weddings can really show you who’s in your corner, and while we definitely learned that, we also found out exactly who our support system is!! The best example being the best man, who made sure everything ran smoothly, double checked we always had full glasses, coordinated with the venue owner so I didn’t have to, and even rented us a fancy car to end the night with! HAPPY THINGS that happened on our wedding day: I had bought a second “reception dress” to change into. I had been feeling so out of control, that I decided to buy a dress second hand, for $400, and it was BEAUTIFUL. I told no one about it, kept it to myself, and had the best time jumping out for a reveal before we started dancing. I love that dress so much! And because I love it so much, I’m actually going to attach a picture so people can see. We got married September 21st, and it ever so lightly rained right before the ceremony, which they say is good luck, so I was very pleased. The venue was stunning, our ceremony was so lovely, and it was so relieving to see that everything we’d gone through to be there in that moment was SO. WORTH. IT. Literally I have no complaints. Every single guest told us it was the best wedding they’d been to (not to toot my own horn). But that day was absolutely perfect. The photographer was great, the food was amazing (I’m Mexican and Colombian, so we catered in food trucks and had mariachis play while we ate), the music was perfect. Everything was so relieving, and exciting, and perfect. And then we jetted off to a quick honeymoon in Cancun, where we got to just lay on a beach and relax and think about nothing! But next year will be our real, big trip together: Bali! For those who will ask, no, I have not moved to England yet. Unfortunately, I’m a business owner, and we learned my taxes will be a doozy. I’m currently looking to slowly transition out and be fully living there in 2027 or 2028. We are still doing long distance until then. I am set to go to England next at the end of April and will be there for two months! pictures from the wedding descriptions of the pictures in chronological order 1) Both groom and bride has their moment for the first dance of their wedding reception. Bride has a short white dress with detailed lace sleeves. The groom is in a white shirt with dark trousers. In the background is the indoor venue for the reception. 2) In the background, there are multiple white chairs set up for the ceremony likely on the patio outside the wedding reception location. Several chandeliers are showed along with a disco ball, creating cute decor. 3) The moment is captured after the vows where the groom is dipping the bride backwards in a classic pose. Bride is wearing a long white grown with a flowing train and detailed lace, She has a white bouquet of flowers. The theme appears to be white colored 4) The picture is in black and white. Groom and bride shares a first kiss at the atlar. The frame is based on the upper bodies and faces, but not the full scene. 5) Bride is seated on a grey couch, displaying her off the shoulder wedding dress. The dress is decorated with lace appliques and beadwork. Bride has her engagement ring showed as her left hand is placed near her knee between the dress' high slit. 6) a close up of the bride's torso and hands featuring the detailed elements of the off the shoulder wedding gown. Sleeves are made of lace, extending to the wrists with pearl accents along the edges End of the descriptions Relevant Comments Commenter 1: The food must've been amazing! That's such a cool idea and must've been so much fun. OOP: It seriously was. I forgot to add we’d catered in a paleta (popsicle) caterer. She had passion fruit, coconut, mango, all these popsicles and toppings. It was so good. I’m pissed I didn’t eat very much that day! The nerves had gotten me haha! Commenter 2: So you're married but still long distance? OOP: Unfortunately, but I am fortunate enough to be able to fly to England often. I’m there about 4-6 months out of the year, and he visits in the gaps! Commenter 3: No one has mentioned the gloves? Girl, not only did you look amazing in both dresses but those gloves 😭 I'm obsessed. Wishing you all the happiness! OOP: Okay RIGHT!? The gloves made that dress. I love them!   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Karentun11 to r/weddingplanning [link] [comments]

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is still bell_swords123. They posted in r/WhatShouldIDo and their own page. Thanks to u/lazy_broomhilda, u/kittyhm, u/rudogandthedweebs, u/sin_tax-error, u/passiflora7, u/GreenWitchFlora and u/GodAllShitey for letting me know about the update. Previous BORU here. New Update marked with ****\* Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. READ TRIGGER WARNINGS. I cannot stress this enough. Trigger Warnings: grooming; child sexual assault; victim blaming; covering up abuse; suicide Mood Spoiler: incredibly incredibly sad and devestating Original Post: January 21, 2025 To be blunt, i noticed that my uncle, (49M), has been paying a lot attention to my sister, (14F). it's not just that he gives her more gifts or just prefers her, but whenever we show up to his house for a family event or just something similar, he always talks about how she looks and is always doing stuff like patting her lower back, rubbing her shoulders, or he'll grab her waist without warning, his gifts for her are also more expensive it was fine at first, he was at my sister's birth and was one of the first to hold her, so shes always been his favorite to an extent and hes always spoiled her, but its like i blinked and hes suddenly acting like this. i dont know exactly when he started acting differently with her but i noticed it a week ago and we havent been to his house since then ive tried talking to my grandma about it but she just brushes it off and my parents are always too busy, im also scared of telling our other extended family because of the fact my grandma brushed me off the first time. what should i do? cause i dont wanna just ignore it but im also scared of telling anyone else incase im overreacting Edit- 1 hour later EDIT: this isnt really an update but for the comments who asked, i havent talked to my sister about it yet but im planning to do so later, we're at our grandma's house right now and considering our grandma brushed off what i said, i dont want to cause too much of a fuss if she ends up hearing me bring it up again im also planning to talk to our parents as soon as we get home, all your comments drilling it into my head that i had to tell them helped, thank you for helping me not be a coward and for your guys' support in general Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Did you tell your parents? OOP: ive tried, but they both work and are frequently out of the house so i havent been able to really talk to them about it Commenter: Do you literally never see them? It only takes 30 seconds to tell them OOP: they work in the early morning up until nighttime, im usually at school or on the weekends, at our grandma's house. its why i told our grandma first because i thought she would be able to tell my parents since theyd probably listen to her better than me Commenter: are your parents... kind people? Do they have narcissistic tendencies? I'm asking because I grew up with a mother that was not all there and definitely had narcissistic traits, perhaps leans towards schizoid, and a father that often tried to avoid all people and simply work and be alone alot of the time. OOP: i dont really understand what you mean but my parents do work a lot and they arent abusive to me or my siblings, i just think theyre overworked and dont have the time to worry about us Commenter: Just curious, how old are you OP? I’d rather say something and be wrong than not say anything and be right. OOP: Im 16 and i agree, im just scared that i might be making a big deal out of nothing bc of what ive seen accusations like this do to people Update Post 1: January 21, 2025 (13 hours later) Hi, im not sure if im doing this correctly but ive seen people do updates this way before so ill just do it this way. first things first, thank you everyone for your comments and giving me advice second, i talked to my sister as soon as we got home from our grandma's and turns out, shes aware that its weird but actually liked it at first, she said that our uncle is nicer to her than our parents and that the gifts are nice, she said that she only started feeling uncomfortable when he began to touch her (specific actions mentioned in my previous post) but that, because she's been accepting all his gifts for her, she thought it might be rude to start saying 'no' now. i asked her when it started and she revealed he started touching her in that way when she turned 12, she said that he only did it when they were in her room (since we visit so often, our uncle and aunt have set guest rooms for me and my siblings) and that that was the reason why she has no locks on her door specifically she also said that she was scared of telling anyone that she was weirded out by his behavior because both our grandma and aunt brushed it off when she was 12, saying that shes always been his favorite and that she was probably just misreading everything he was doing because shes a teenager now i showed her your comments, shes never heard of the word 'grooming' before so she was pretty shocked and a little angry, saying that our uncle would never do something like that but i managed to convince her to tell our parents about our uncle together, even if it was just to ask them to stop him from touching her ive also sent texts to our parents about it, detailing that my sister is uncomfortable with how our uncle behaves with her but our parents have yet to respond to any of the texts ive sent about our uncle and have just texted that "we'll talk about it when we get home" theyre both working late today and wont be home by nighttime probably OOP's Comment: my sister said that she talked to our aunt about it but she brushed it off like our grandma did and im not sure if i should bring it up to her again, for the video recording, i dont want to let my sister be in a situation where she has to be touched again on purpose in order for us to get something but i also dont want to just say anything without having proof, im still figuring it out but thank you for the advice Update Post 2: January 22, 2025 (Next Day) im sorry if this isnt allowed moderators but im just really confused but also really angry right now and dont know how to fix that our parents got home an hour ago and me & sister talked with them, in short, my mom was pissed and my dad was surprised but he also revealed something, turns out that he knew our uncle (his brother for context) had been acting weirdly with my sister but didnt do anything because he "didnt think he'd ever try anything with his kids" and that he thought he had changed he said that our uncle had done something with one of my cousins a few years before my sister was born my grandma was the one who caught him and got him into therapy, our dad said that our grandma made our uncle promise not to do it again in order for them not to report him, our aunt (this specific uncles wife) is also aware of this but, according to our dad, she said that our cousin had tempted him with how she dressed around the house, our dad said thats why that specific cousin doesnt talk with the rest of the family my mom apparently didnt know this and they argued, she threatened divorce and a restraining order against his entire family if our dad doesnt only tell our uncle to back off but also report him to the police, our dad doesnt want to and last i heard, hes calling our grandma sorry that this is a complete mess, i dont know what else to do and im stressed out of my mind, my sister looks okay right now though so thats all that matters to me at the moment. it feels like my life is falling apart because of our uncle and at this point, im starting to feel like beating him up is the only way to fix everything i know thats its not and thats irrational but im just so angry. i also mentioned telling the police or counselors at school like you guys said but she doesnt want to, she says shes embarrassed about it and she said that theyd just blame her cause she let it go for two years, even though i told her that she didnt do anything wrong and was just scared, she wouldnt budge Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Do you have contact info for that estranged cousin? It might be helpful for your sister to speak to them about it. OOP: i met that cousin only once and i was really young back then, i havent heard anything about her since aside from the info that our dad shared. im thinking of trying to contact her but i dont know how to do that OOP replies to a longer Comment: OOP: thank you, this calmed me down a little cause ive been tense since talking with our parents im sorry if i sounded really mad in my post. i dont know if anyone other than my dad, aunt and grandma know that our uncle is like that but i dont wanna risk telling any of them if they do Update Post 3: January 25, 2025 (3 days later, 4 from OG post) sorry i havent updated for a bit, a lot has been going on and ive been a little out of my mind trying to remember everything so i could put it down here. in short, my mom and dad are divorcing and my mom brought me and my other siblings, including my sister, back to her parents house for the time being until it goes through my mom's parents are really old but theyre really fun so my sister and other younger siblings like being here even though everythings a big mess right now. nothing too big has happened but i want you guys to know that my mom signed my sister up for therapy, i told our mom about the fact my sister doesnt want to tell the police or anything and our mom is planning on telling the police herself. our mom is also trying to go through on the restraining order but its taking a while so shes trying for a temporary one for now until she can file out a permanent one our mom and dad both worked full-time but now that my mom is taking care of five kids by herself while working, shes been really stressed out and tired, her parents help but like i said, theyre super old and cant really do much on their own. no information on our cousin at this point since our mom is super swamped sorry this isnt a good update, i dont know whats been going on with our dad and his side of the family but our mom told us not to worry and that she'll handle it. thank you again for everyone who took the time to read my posts and give me advice, i think id be pretty helpless without it so thank you. this is just more of a 'life right now' kind of update than anything too big. im not too sure what to right now since our mom is trying to handle everything on her own so ill edit this post if anything comes up Update Post 4: February 13, 2025 (over 3 weeks from first post) im sorry this took so long, not alot has actually happened but considering i talk alot in these posts, thisll probably be long. ive been rereading all the comments and advice people gave me over and over again so thank you again for taking the time to read my familys bullshit our mom and dad's divorce is still going through the system so theyre still legally together but our mom's already gotten a good chunk of me and my siblings stuff and brought it to her parents house, our dad's tried calling our mom at first but since she doesnt respond, hes been calling me. for the last few days, its gone from him saying sorry, to asking how im doing, to getting mad that i said something. he says that it wasnt my business to meddle with adult business and that he, our grandma, and aunt had it under control. our mom started taking my phone away after the calls started so thats one of the reasons i havent updated for a while, sorry again for that our cousin, the one our uncle also groomed, also called us through our moms phone yesterday, shes older now and she was really awkward when she started but eventually talked about the stuff our uncle did to her at the time. when he started doing all of the stuff he did, my sister hadnt been born yet. she said that she cut off our dads family after my sister was born because she found out that our dad had let our uncle meet her, saying that the fact our dad let him even be apart of their lives still disgusted her. she also said that she never reported him because she says that she wouldve relieved everything and though she didnt really go into detail, said that he did a lot more to her than how he was with my sister. this cousin is also our dads other brother's kid, i shouldve said so awhile ago but didnt think it mattered much, sorry for some lighter news, my sisters birthday is in a few days from now, shell be 15, she says the therapist our mom got her is really nice and though the lady is a little scary to her sometimes, she says that shes nice to her. ive also been learning to cook food that dont just use the microwave and putting my younger siblings to bed, theyre all old enough to do it themselves to an extent but i help still sometimes, my sister is also journaling too but she mostly just draws anime in them lol. my other younger siblings are also having fun and though they dont really understand whats happening, they know that, with our mom's explanation, our uncle did something really bad and that our dad was okay with it so thats why we arent living at home anymore sorry this is so long, this was supposed to just be an edit but i saw how long it was and it would probably be a little annoying to read so i just made it into a separate post. im also sorry if this is hard to follow, im typing this out att night and im really tired so sorry OOP's only comment: CraftyPlantCatLady: [...]Also, just want to throw out there that your sister can always consider finding a different therapist who could be a better fit. It’s always important to feel comfortable with therapists, trust instead of fear them, so that we can share more openly and find the support we need. 🩷 OOP: my sister was scared of her at first, she says that she has a really serious face but shes actually nice to her but thanks for the advice New Update Trigger Warning: suicide *****Update Post 5: January 30, 2026****\* i didnt think id ever post here again but with everyone helping me back then i felt that all of you deserved to an update from me my sister died a few months after my last post. no, it wasnt anyone from the rest of the family, after what happened, the judge made sure none of them ever got near us again i wont go into any details but she wasnt getting better as quickly as i thought she was, even though she was laughing, going to a therapist, and acting like herself again, she was hurting badly and didnt want to tell anyone i feel like i failed her had i seen it sooner or stopped it faster or checked up on her more or try and help her more maybe she wouldnt have done that she used to ask me if it was her fault or if it was better if she hadnt said anything i always told her no but now i know i shouldve tried harder all i can think about is the fact she was suffering cause of our uncle for almost her entire life and i didnt see it and then even a year later she was struggling and i couldnt see it. all i keep thinking abt is the baby victories i used to celebrate the fact she could be around our mom's dad without being uncomfortable or that she was okay sleeping by herself again but now it all feels like i was just doing nothing to help her get any better it feels like i just tricked myself into thinking that everything would be ok when in reality, my sister was suffering again and all i can think is that is how useless i was in protecting her this time sometimes i wish i was where she was i hope shes somewhere where no one will ever hurt her again mom talked about this all the time in therapy i shouldve seen this coming but i didnt and i failed her im sad but im also so angry because it feels like even tho my dad, aunt, uncle, and grandma didnt ever touch again it feels like they killed her themselves i wish i could tell them now that theyre the reason she can never go to college or that even after everything she didnt want them to get hurt sometimes i wish that it were me instead of her so that she never had to deal with all of that in the first place and did what she did there are days where i think abt going with her but mom is a wreck and my other younger siblings cant handle it so i have to be here im sorry that if the format is bad i just wanted u all to know submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Help me settle a debate, thanks! I think this is a great dress, but not black tie mother of groom appropriate. submitted by /u/mmdeerblood to r/Weddingattireapproval [link] [comments]

Mine will be wearing an off white and lacy simple dress. She’s worried it’ll look bad to also wear white. Her and I have a good relationship, if that matters. submitted by /u/Ok_Squash_3288 to r/WeddingDressTips [link] [comments]

This is the dress I ordered for my son’s formal wedding. Usually I am a conservative dresser, just nervous on my pick. I am having the deep v-neck stitched closed 2” up from the bottom. Just wondering thoughts on the dress. submitted by /u/agnes223 to r/Weddingattireapproval [link] [comments]