Old Money Outfits Men

...lol. I am 43 year old married woman. Unfortunately, we ...eye magnet for lots of men & women as well, but...with feeling bigger than everyone, men included. But now I Own...successful businessman. I come from old money. I grew up rich. I... to a lot of money and expensive things because of ...or evening. Most of my outfits are well-coordinated in terms of ... women, this short skinny old woman Jodi walked up to ...

...that looked like our old and wrinkly Sylvana, that's where... they're dressed in revealing outfits, pretty cocktail dresses like they're...like the FKKs. Also men don't get to wear bathrobes...there were a few Asian men but they weren't being ...to have sex. Married men in a sexless marriage that...company of prostitutes, yup men are still the same half... girls don't make any money for the whole day. Some...

... injuring a over 1000 year old dragon, surviving the attack of... that most people attracted to men would fall for at a... as bad looking as my old Master… Servant Saber, Javier Asrahan ... you." Spoiler: Final Ascension Spoiler: Outfits "The Knight of Blood and ... didn't know how to make money, or to cultivate crops in ...

...of the super cool judge outfits originated from, right?" Takemikazuchi immediately... Not many people speak to old men anymore these days. In fact, ... where to look, obviously. "Money, obviously," Responded BigStall to Ulbert's ... I know it was for money!" Vagisilious sent him a questioning ... experiment?' About His Old Name: 'Weak Dragon… And yet ... recall one of my old peers attempting to fight someone ...

... were narrowing. He saw men outside, often with dark ... and distinctive red and green outfits. A gang? His heat... of the hooded, tattooed men spoke. His smile had a...weary posture. Like a weathered old tree before a storm. "....They were asking for protection money? But... how? Weren't there...But an organized gang extorting money in broad daylight? That ...off a few guns? Protection money, really? He might have...

...down. "See, if my little old self can keep you down, ...and started to eat. The old woman smiled and left the ...right back to Earth." The old woman came back in the ...." The next morning, the men loaded up their carriage and ...Emei, Wudang. The plum blossom outfits of Mt. Hua, Namgung, even ...hopped off, bowed to the men. "Thank you for everything." He ... First thing I need is money. But why is everything so ...

I always see old Hollywood and Disney movies where old men are always depicted in looking fancy, wearing a top hat and a eye monocle sorta like Monopoly But what generation do you associate the early 1900s old money outfit with? submitted by /u/SpiritMan112 to r/generationology [link] [comments]

Cooling Professional: Ice-wool tee + linen trousers. Breathable, sharp, and the ultimate summer office look. Street Statement: Graphic print tee + relaxed bottoms. High street vibes with a high head-turn rate. Minimalist Black: Premium modal black tee. Lightweight, ultra-comfortable, and effortlessly sleek. Vintage Monochrome: Washed "distressed" tee in a black-and-white palette. Classic, edgy, and fits everyone. "Old Money" Knit: Short-sleeve knit polo/tee. Sophisticated, intellectual, and timelessly classy. Effortless Basic: Classic white tee + straight-leg jeans. Simple American "vibe" that’s relaxed and easy. Retro curved trousers: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7763278604&spider_token=745d PUMA Speedcat OG sneakers: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7760254799&spider_token=3116 Schnauzer short sleeve: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7763290570&spider_token=5f92 Scimitar Pants: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7763238836&spider_token=c4fe Linen A-line trousers: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7763274762&spider_token=1ea2 Grey ribbed knit sweater: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7752476698&spider_token=a1eb White jeans: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7749516053&spider_token=d767 Black German Training Shoes: https://weidian.com/item.html?itemID=7763339902&spider_token=29a0 submitted by /u/FickleChampion2970 to r/OMGReviewReal [link] [comments]

First, a quick tl;dr All content for games from Snowbreak's area must be screened with regulators ahead of time. Snowbreak showed regulators one thing, then gave players a DIY file mod so that they saw another. Snowbreak devs revealed that they knew the decensor existed and asked streamers to use it. Regulators butchered the game because it was circumventing the system. --- I'm sure you've all heard the news. Depending on how you feel about it, I'm either happy for you or sorry it happened. Just like when Snowbreak first shut down, some people are claiming that similar incidents will soon befall other games. I am here to assure you that is not going to happen. Snowbreak's demise is because the developers chose to play a very dangerous game. No one else is foolish enough to risk it. 1. Content Regulation in China Whenever a gacha game creates a patch, they must first submit the content for review. This isn't always an exhaustive review, but the sampled materials must be representative. The exact rules on what passes are intentionally vague with the idea being that if you draw a line, everyone will run up to it right away. If the line is blurry, games will self-regulate while worrying about crossing the line. Review is also context dependent. Characters in swimsuits can show more skin; male nipples are fine while female nipples are not. A bit of risque material is less likely to be flagged than if everything is risque. Once the material is approved, it cannot be changed without another review. If you release material that differs from what you submitted for review, you instantly lose your game license and your game is pulled from all distribution. To get it back again, you must pass review with the same people that took it away. And they hate you now. You do not, under any circumstances, modify content after the review unless you're a complete idiot. Snowbreak did not suffer this fate. While they did shut their servers down, government records show that their game license was never pulled. This was due to a rather slick plan on their part. 2. Snowbreak's Devs Slick Plan After several censorship incidents where their content passed review but was later censored after a closer look (which suggests they did not provide representative samples AND/OR the regulators were pissed), Snowbreak's devs began sending censored outfits for review. They weren't so foolish as to then ship uncensored outfits directly. Instead, they took a page from old-school gachas and 'discreetly' spread a method to easily uncensor the game among their playerbase. An official Snowbreak employee giving the decensor to a content creator after a censorship wave This is why Snowbreak's censored outfits are incredibly half-assed. The devs did not care to make them palatable because they did not expect anyone to actually see them except for the regulators. This wasn't a good bet, but more on that later. The end result is that they were technically compliant with the law and, since players had to technically modify the game to see the uncensored outfits, they had a thin legal defense if the decensor were ever exposed. 3. The Decensor is Obviously Exposed Since the censored outfits are extremely ugly, Snowbreak employees routinely told sponsored streamers how to decensor the game and even instructed them on how to do it. Example from Stix The game's producer and the marketing director (two people) also routinely posted decensored content on their social media. The game's trailers usually slipped in a few seconds where players could pause to get an uncensored screenshot as well. This was a very open secret. The trick was blasted all over the place by design because the devs knew that no one was interested in playing the game in a censored state--or at least not enough people to keep it afloat. However, because the regulators do not actually play games, they did not notice. Or perhaps Seasun's parent company, Kingsoft, was able to get them some leniency. While the direct studio (LHM) that made the game is small, it is part of Seasun which brags about being the oldest video game company in China and publishes JX3 online--a 20 year old MMO with strong Chinese cultural influence that is still going strong and makes up most of their revenue. Kingsoft is chaired by Lei Jun, one of the richest men in China and one with a sterling reputation as an all-around do-gooder. As long as Snowbreak remained a niche game and didn't cause a national controversy, it was likely better to overlook a little overeager gooning than to smear the reputation of Lei Jun, Kingsoft, or Seasun. 4. Snowbreak Causes a National Controversy The developers and a vocal minority of fans of the game have been obnoxious from the start. Suffice to say that they have made enemies all over the gacha space in China and without. Not all attacks against them are warranted, but what matters is that there are legitimately legions of folks who would love to see them humbled. This is in no small part because they brag about their gooner content and accuse other companies of just being cowards and refusing to give players what they want. The devs declared their work an 18+ game (they didn't get a designation from the government; they just self-declared) and advertised that it was 18+. The players laughed at all the major players for not daring to show as much ass as Seasun. The marketing director posts cringe after a censorship hit Both the developers and the players were, to be nice, insufferable in this regard. They demanded that Snowbreak be seen as THE gooner game. The only game willing to give men what they really wanted--balloon boobs as far as the eye could see. Then they collaborated with the National Post Office. If you have two brain cells to rub together, consider donating one to these developers because they somehow did not see what the inevitable outcome of this would be. Now, other spicy games have collaborated with the National Post Office without incident. This is because they made the collab content completely sterile. From the Love and Producer collab, often mistaken as Love and Deepspace by Snowbros Snowbreak went a different route. They had the good sense to censor their censored outfits even more so that nothing explicit was showing, but these were still bridal-esque outfits with characters in sensual poses. At the very least, it could be seen as a promotion of polygamy (the game's MC had just married his 8th wife). Snowbreak's Collab Offerings The material itself would not have been an issue alone, but combined with the game's fiercely defended reputation as an 18+ adult game for horny men and the army of people eager to strike back at it that vastly outnumbered the players and the fact that it was a collaboration with a government entity, it blew up on social media. This resulted in a news channel showing footage of a random streamer playing the game...with the decensor enabled. The Blurring Makes it Worse TBH Now, even if the shown footage matched what was sent for review, the game still would have received a knock on the head from the Iron Fist of censorship. If the regulators approve something and then the public gets upset about it, the regulators do not take your side. They censor you even harder for embarrassing them. However, since the footage did not match what was sent for review, an inquiry began immediately. Soon, a visual novel style blowjob scene in the main story of that patch suspiciously stopped working. A day later, the game announced indeterminate maintenance and went radio silent. The developers social media accounts and the official Bilibili channel, which all contained decensored content sprinkled in, went private and never returned (except for some pre-launch videos on Bilibili). If only the devs could have known... 5.) The Devs Should Have Known Before releasing Snowbreak, Seasun made a couple of games in the Girl Cafe Gun series. They ripped those characters off for Snowbreak to a hilarious degree though they, thankfully, boosted most of them above the age of consent this time. Like Snowbreak, GCG was forced to shut down for rectification and included a decensor method when it reopened. However, it never really caught on and the game was eventually abandoned with most of the staff being moved to work on Snowbreak instead. The game stopped receiving updates and eventually EoS'd around the month where Snowbreak was initially supposed to launch based on files datamined in the first client--November 2023. Found in Client on Actual Launch of 7/20 Seasun actually has a long history of games where they promise to release the spiciest content and skirt the regulators in some fashion. Players are drawn in by the honeypot and when Seasun inevitably gets caught and is forced to censor the game, they simply move on to the next project. Snowbreak is by far their most ambitious game and one where there was some initial push to do something more sustainable, but they quickly reset to their default shenanigans. This is why, I suspect, the regulators took them back behind the barn and made them shoot their own game in the knees repeatedly. It wasn't about protecting the children or societal contagion--it was about punishing a company that can't seem to stop pulling this same trick. Not only did they have to censor nearly everything in the game, they had to censor things that were already censored and even things they were forced to censor already in the past. After this, they were forced to disable their decensor mechanism. Players who spent absurd amounts of money to support the one developer they thought had their best interest in mind suddenly had to play the version of the game that actually passed review. Since Seasun spent the years after their gooner turn dialing up the goon without much in the way of core gameplay improvements, this wasn't a particularly attractive idea. Once again, Seasun got players money and then cried that they couldn't possibly do anything about the government forcing them to take away the goods they promised to deliver. It's working a little better than usual. While most people have walked away, many are buying the narrative that Seasun really loves them and is doing the best they can. Nevermind that they couldn't be bothered to even add texture to the censored outfits despite over two months of downtime. Only the costume that is currently on sale got a censored version that isn't just untextured plastic. 6. What Does This Mean for Other Games In a word: Nothing. Snowbreak was hit with extreme censorship due to a series of foolish decisions by the developer. They were uniquely vulnerable due to their decensor regulation circumvention and only got slammed because the decensor was discovered by regulators. Basically no other modern gacha is using a decensor for precisely this reason--it's impossible to keep one under wraps in the social media age and especially when people constantly stream your game. It's just a matter of time until the blowback comes and it will always be more trouble than it's worth as the regulators can force you to censor more than other games if they hate you. And they will hate you. Some players have pointed out the practice of mass reporting games. However, games are only vulnerable to that if they do something dumb like circumvent regulation. Otherwise, all of the content in the game has been seen by and approved by the very people you're reporting the game to. They're going to ignore the report unless it somehow becomes too embarrassing not to. Other gacha games with competent PR teams and that didn't build their brand on controversy and picking fights know how to avoid these sorts of situations for precisely this reason. 7. What Does This Mean for Snowbreak Contrary to fan's hopes, they're probably not going to release another decensor trick. They are being watched like a hawk and that's never, ever going to stop being the case. The regulators they embarrassed are likely itching to kick them in the balls again ASAP and may have only approved the current version to show everyone that they made an example of these guys. At the same time, they're unlikely to ignore the current PAK mod to decensor the game. Doing so could be used as evidence that they are, once again, circumventing regulation. Also, that PAK mod works because they have always created models with a switch to change between the version they show regulators and the version they show players. If they keep doing that, the Iron Fist will return to knock out all their teeth. Players will have to just mod in entire models like with the costumes made before the switch that are not decensored with the base PAK mod. As we see with the new character, they did finally hire someone who can make costumes that can pass regulation and don't look like complete trash, but it's too little, too late. They essentially have to give up making money on all content except that one skin if they just try to tough it out. However, this is the most likely outcome because it is the only one that doesn't involve another trip behind the barn. The most recent patch launched with no PV, no character preview and not even character cards on the rerun banner notices. The devs knew what was coming and chose not to say anything to players. Since the patch went live, there has been no official communication. They aren't even talking to their Discord mods despite all the trouble they went through to install CN users to police the Global Discord some time ago. The usually chatty Producer and Marketing Director both remain silent with all posts hidden. The devs know the gig is up and they know that at the end of the day, they still have all the money while the players can only cope until the inevitable EoS. submitted by /u/ShirtlessCommie to r/gachagaming [link] [comments]

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) OOP: u/AdventurousBet6537 Published on: r/relationship_advice Story is: ONGOING Story timeline Main Post: May 01, 2026 Update: May 02, 2026 Main Post May 01, 2026 I 23F think i need to move out of the house after Dad 48M requested I pay 1k a month in rent. I just made this today dont want it on my main. I 23F live at home with my Dad, Mom and younger brother and I also work from home. So here is the short version, I work for a pharmaceutical company as a data analyst and hopefully soon to be a data scientist once I finish some certifications, I have worked at this company for 3.5 years, I started as an intern and once I finished my degree I was given a full time position. My parents deal for me to live at home as an adult was to always contribute to the household, so we came up with “what contributions” to make sure there weren’t any discrepancies. Pay the light bill because I am home the most (roughly $200 a month during winter and 350 during summer…Texas) I opted to pay for the water ($150), gas ($50-80), internet ($100) My mother added for me to drive my brother around – at reasonable requests so I usually pick him up after school from practice and he plays like a million sports and is in a trillion clubs, this is until he can get a car. I also drive him to places if I can. I pay for my own cell phone, car insurance and subscriptions. I still have chores, cooking, cleaning, etc. so does my brother. Well, my dad came to me last week and asked that I start paying $500 a month (cheap yes I know) because he desnt think I contribute enough to the house. This rubbed me the wrong way because I feel that I do, I know $500 is cheap and I wont get anything cheaper out there but that will mean I will be paying 1k a month to live at home. So I said if I am going to start giving cash for living at home then I am a tenant not a family member contributing to the house. If I am going to pay rent then I want a lease, I want to be able to come and go as I please, I don’t want to pay the monthly bills because then it should be covered in my rent and the obligation of driving my brother around should also go out the window (he is my brother and I will always accommodate him because we get a long but not the point). He got upset and said I want being petty and not thinking clearly and if I leave I will not be allowed back when I realize the real world is harder than 500 a month and when I fall on my ass, he will not help me. I looked around and I can get a studio apartment or a 1 bedroom for $1200, and I get my own space and privacy and more than likely not spend too much more money. I would save on the utilities alone so it wouldn’t be that much more expensive, and I can get my desk out of my room. He has been ignoring me for the past week until today. My mom asked for me to take the day off to discuss this and didn’t want my brother home because she didn’t want him to see us arguing, which is weird because why would we be arguing and not discussing?! My mom tried to negotiate, that I don’t pay utilities and my rent is $750 a month but I still had to do chores and keep the same routine with my brother. Also, the house rule would be no noise or company past 9 pm Sunday through Thursday and midnight on Friday and Saturday unless requested a head of time and absolutely no men can spend the night or be in my room (weird because this was never an issue). My dad stayed quiet the entire time, but I could tell that he was bothered, I said that wouldn’t work because I spent money on gas to drive my bro everywhere and I don’t want it to be a rule of tenancy to be my brother’s chauffeur. That’s when my dad blew up and called me selfish and he is just trying to teach me responsibility, accountability and that me harping over giving them money just shows that I am not part of the family and want to be an outsider because I should want to help. I argued that me paying over 500 a month in bills, gas driving around my brother, and chores should be enough to show how unselfish I am, but if its necessary for him to receive payment from me then I will pay the $500 and none of the bills and I will gladly drive my brother around. My mom argued that 750 was reasonable, and I said no its not if you still want me to live here like a teenager, dad said 500 so that 500 should cover everything. My dad stormed off and my mother said I am treating this like a business negotiation and that she is disappointed in me because my dad only said 500 because I was paying other bills and only wanting to pay 500 all included is a low blow, and renting is a waste of money and they would feel better if I moved out to a purchased home. Like what?! I am not ready for that level of commitment. It’s not the money but that is a major purchase and now I feel like the trust I had with them is fractured. Before anyone asks idk if they are in financial distress, my mom is an MRI tech, and my dad is a pipe fitter. Also, if my parents where in financial distress I would help them 100%, I went to school here in the city, I have been saving 60% of my salary for the past 3.5 years and the other 40% was to my car that I paid off and my student loans (which I only have 25k left). TLDR- dad wants me to pay 1k a month and keep responsibilities, it feels like its too much and I should move out. Torn if I am making a big deal of the $750 vs $500 and if this is a hill I want to die on.   COMMENTS Valthar70 I dont know where you live but just be sure to get the deets on what else would be required for that $1200/mo 1br apartment. Normally that doesn't include utilities, or not all of them, nor does it usually include internet. Or laundry. Do you have furniture? Pots, pans, plates, utensils, toiletries, tables, bedroom set, dining stuff? Ability to also buy groceries? Not as easy as you think to outfit an entire apartment and live there and think... It's just $1200 OOP Well I do have savings, I know its going to be more expensive but it wont be large enough to make me change my mind. Alone my light bill will be roughly 75-150 depending on the apartment, gas $40, groceries for myself I pay about 150 a week because I meal prep, internet 50 dollars, water/sewage depending on the apartment. I have enough saved to fully furnish an apartment, will it suck yes but I have the money to do it and I know its more than 1k a month that they are offering. CaityR1986 I would just cut the cord and move out. It will cost a bit more than what your parents want Joh to pay then but the freedom from their rules and having to be your brother’s driver is worth every penny extra than you will be paying. It might even cut closer to even when you factor in all the gas savings you will have not having to drive your brother everywhere OOP omg this week alone I drove him around over 500 miles, I know this because I had to fill up my gas tank twice this week. School x 2, taekwondo 3x a week, swimming, then the basketball games, football games, now he wants to do swimming in the summer and work as a life guard, on top of that he takes music lessons 2x a week. his weekly in person DND night, taking him to the stores, dropping him off at the movies, mall, whatever. I love the kid but I cant wait until he gets his own license. From 4-7 its just me driving him around at least 3-4x a week. InsertCleverName652 500 miles??? That's insane. OOP It probably wasnt 500 miles but I did have to fill up my tank twice this week. I have a mazda 3 so the stopping and going the mileage is less. Our neighborhood was rezoned, so my brothers school which used to be half a mile away is now 2 miles away, and his taekwondo is a mile from our house so just on that day its 4 miles to drop and pick up and 6 miles for the extras. I would have to look at all the other stuff he has but it was 40-50 bucks to fill up. I just remember thinking damn thats a lot lol. MermaidxGlitz are you not allowed to come and go as you please now? I’d move out simply for the freedom OOP I leave as I please but its a full lecture when I return, god forbid I have brunch with the girls, or come home past midnight. I didnt mind at first because its their house their rules but now it feels more confined with their requests Unleashd99 $1k a month is not terrible amount of money but you make a very valid point. For just a few dollars more you get your independence. Which at 23 makes a ton of sense. Maybe instead of focusing on the details of what they are asking from you, you could ask your father, “Why now? What happened that made you suddenly think I needed to pay an extra $500 more?” That question might help you both to be less defensive about the specific details of the topic and find a more fruitful answer. Because you are right to request more independence as a woman at 23. And maybe he has a good reason for what he is suddenly demanding too and we just haven’t heard it yet. Or maybe he just really wants you out of the house. You won’t know unless you ask. It seems unlikely that it could make things worse by asking. OOP I tried asking and he wont answer, he is pretty stubborn and when he thinks he is being challenged or undermined he shuts down and gives you the cold shoulder and my mom has to mediate. I heard them on the phone talking about me because he went for a drive and he said I was stubborn. Maybe I am stubborn, maybe if they would have had a talk with me about it I wouldnt be so defensive. But he is a blue collar man and he speaks like he is barking orders and once you say no or dont agree with the tone he will double down and it becomes a screaming match. OOP to a long thread No men have ever stepped in my room, now what I do outside of my house is my business thats the unspoken rule. Honestly 750 isnt horrible, but when he started it as a demand and said I didnt do enough without explanation and me not backing down it escalated. My parents are not rich they ok. My dad is 49 and my mom is 48 and my brother is 15 about to be 16. Electrical_Ad_947 (downvoted) Who paid for you to go to university? OOP scholarships, loans and working through school. They would help if I was in need for like gas, food, and the occasional books or extras. Scholarships paid 70% of school. Update - next day May 02, 2026 Update: My parents are just ridiculous and I am going to look for apartments this weekend So its 545 right now and my Dad is getting the full exposure of driving around my brother and my Mom and I had a conversation as to what happened which solidified that living here will just end up to us having a horrible relationship. My dad as previously mentioned is a pipe fitter in the union, sometimes he has to travel for work but not all the time and he works long hours so he doesn’t see everything that happens. Now to the update. 3 years ago when I went from intern to full time I was making 62k a year as entry level and that was generous because they already knew my work. Well last year a position opened up and I was offered the position now making 82k a year and quarterly bonuses up to 10%, I have never received the full 10% because I didn’t see the value of working 60 hours for an extra paycheck a month. Last week my dad was home more than usual and just saw me holed up in my room “doing nothing just staring at a computer and watching netflix” well I had a grey’s anatomy running in the background but I always shut it off when I am in meetings and its just comforting to hear other voices in the house when you are alone all the time. When I left for my brother my dad walked in my room and saw my W2 and that my gross last year was 78k (promotion money included) and he asked my mom how much am I contributing to the house and she said well she doesn’t give any money. Well that was enough for him to say I wasn’t contributing, no follow up questions. He also forgot that I was paying the utilities – why? Because my mom handles all the bills. When he told me I had to pay because I am not contributing enough he thought I was just picking up my brother, doing chores and cooking twice a week for dinner. So when I pushed back saying I pay bills, pick up my brother, drive him around 3-4x a week between 4-7, give him money when he is short for food and take him out to eat during the outings, plus everything else, he got flustered and thought I was exaggerating and doubled down. The silent treatment for the whole week he was asking my mom and brother to “validate” and when they did he got even more mad that he didn’t know all this because its obviously my fault for not ANNOUCING it to the world. During the 1st conversation of the 750 and driving my brother around was my mom being selfish because she knew it would fall on her and teaching him to drive! But I explained he knows how to drive, he went to driving school and has a learners permit so when he is with me I do let him drive to get comfortable. She didn’t realize that he completed his courses which again is weird to me because SHE literally signed him up! Even with all this my dad biggest issue is that I no longer need them which is not true, you always need your parents. But after this back and forth and reading a lot of the comments, and me saying my dad has quirks or shuts down I just come to realize he and I trigger each other so much. He and I will get into a screaming match because he refuses to admit he is wrong and I refuse to let him walk all over me, but I know how to apologize as well HE DOESN’T, he will just pretend like it didn’t happen. This is just not going to work out. She finally agreed to it and will speak to my dad because it will just continue to escalate. I did offer for them to come and walk some apartments with me so they feel involved and my mom said yes but she will see what my dad will say because he doesn’t want me to move out and is really upset that I wont back down from that. But I honestly don’t see us coming back from what happened this past week and today, I know it will just escalate – I haven’t even addressed why he was in my room and looking through my stuff to see my W2’s. Right now my dad is getting frustrated driving around to just wait on my brother and then drive again in high traffic times, which has been my life for 3 years. The only difference is that when I took that role/responsibility my brother was only 13 years old so he didn’t have a lot of extra circulars. My mom knew but she was happy with the arrangement because she didn’t have to deal with it. She also apologized for her role in saying that I am trying to negotiate because she understands that I do a lot for my brother and that will fall on them at least until he gets his license. Once I move out depending on where I move I wouldn’t mind helping out and driving him around maybe once or twice a week because I do enjoy spending time with him and so do my friends. Once a week after once of his extras we go to Chili’s and eat and hang out with my friends and I know I would miss him too much if I just stop being around him. There are so many times we just sit in the car eat and laugh or gossip. But hopefully we find something this weekend and I can move within the next month. Hopefully my dad and I will be on speaking terms by the time I move out. I am going to step away and go get dinner with my friends and just get it off my mind.   COMMENTS OOP to a long thread ugh yes we are Mexican American. My mom's family is from Texas before it was Texas and my dad is 1st generation. Informal_Meeting_577 Serious question, if you've been living at home, and getting paid 60k then 85k, why not just buy a home? Should you not have significant savings at this point? OOP There are few reasons not to buy a house right now. Yes I have savings but the savings will be a full down payment and leave me with little money to cover 6 months. I bought a car because I needed that and paying my student loans so this past year it has been saving and student loans. In houston if I want to buy a decent home in a decent area the avg is 300k plus unless I look at town homes etc. I did look once I received a pay increase to see what I would need and it would be somewhere between 55k-65k for 20% down because I dont want PMI.   This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading. Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved. submitted by /u/BigONerd to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

Hey everyone, I know the title is a little weird but hear me out. my boyfriend (m23) really hates spending money on himself, and then complains about it. It makes no sense, he earns six figures, has no debt/loans and virtually no cost of living (he lives in a flat his parents bought him). Here's a few examples to explain what I mean: He often complains how his colleagues are so well-dressed and polished, but he still wears the clothes his mom got him when he was 16 , that are mostly too small or have holes. He refuses to go shopping for new stuff because he "doesn't know what to get", then gets completely enraged when I point out nice outfits that would suit him well or offer to buy him clothes. He uses his dad's tossed-out perfume and complains about how it smells, but also refuses to buy himself one he actually likes. Same goes for food: He only eats fruit and vegetables when I buy them and says how much he loves it, but when he's alone he lives off of dry noodles, plain yoghurt and bread. He even eats moldy and expired food just so it doesn't get thrown out. When I dispose of expired stuff, he throws a fit. He once fed me five month old eggs without my knowledge, resulting in a trip to the ER. He complains about his haircut not suiting him but refuses to go to a better barber because it's 10$ more. He complains about his acne but won't get the prescription his derm issued him. He complains about being skinny but now that he's built a bit of muscle, he's whining about how he doesn't want his shoulders to get broader because then he'd have to get new clothes. He complains about having to take cold showers, but literally nobody but himself is holding him back from letting it warm up a little before hopping in. His "sufferingmaxxing" is so bad it kind of started to imprint on me: I feel bad for replacing my shoes when they have holes, I feel guilty for showering with warm water and having a smoothie every morning instead of stale bread with nothing. It's really starting to pmo and I really need help understanding what causes this and how I can gently encourage him to get the things he likes, live a little and embrace growth? Are there any men here who have been like this and have successfully overcome it? submitted by /u/Apprehensive-Bee8222 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Just_Someone_w3ird in r/AITAH Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. trigger warnings: sexism(?), emotional/verbal & physical abuse, parental neglect, puzzling motivations Marking inconclusive because despite everything, I doubt this has ended NOTE: OOP claims to be living in the United Kingdom, but her use of Americanisms made many commentators suspect that she was trolling. However, in a comment to the 30 May 2025 post, u/Eggcellentplans suggested that OP was "changing details to not dox herself". Her wording does suggest someone for whom English is not her first language, so this may explain her location. Which also implies that her mother went to another country other than South Korea. AITAH for refusing to talk to my dad and brothers after the comment they made to me? posted to r/AITAH -- 21 May 2025 Hi, I created this account mostly to see icebergs, theories, and photos, but I never thought I'd be writing here. The people involved are: - Me (16 F) - My dad (59 M) - My two older brothers (22 M, they're twins, by the way) - And my twin brother (16 M) As you can imagine, dealing with two sets of twins can be...well, stressful and I understand my father in that. My mother is away working, she usually comes once a year or month, but I haven't seen her much since I turned 14, sometimes she send some stuff to me and my brothers. The relationship with my brothers is... well, complicated, I'm the only woman among all of them, so it was already difficult to connect with them, I only connect a little with my brother Andrew (fake name, 22 years old), since we both like Greek mythology and stuff like that. But here the problem is with my twin brother and my father, you see, these last few days where I live, the weather seems to have a life of its own, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, etc. So, today I woke up to unbearable heat, I had planned to go to one of those markets that sell everything to look for some stuffed animals from a series that I like, I dressed in a shirt, some sneakers and decided to wear a skirt to have my legs freer, the skirt was short (almost four fingers above my knees) and that was the problem for my father He immediately told me that the skirt was NOT appropriate and that I should change immediately (he knew I was coming out, I say this to clarify) I asked him what the problem was with this skirt, since it was literally a piece of clothing that my mother sent me from the country where she works. He didn't say anything to me, he just told me that "either I changed into pants or I wouldn't go out." I couldn't even speak when my twin brother joined the conversation, my father told him everything (I guess looking for support) and my brother, like the idiot he is, looked me up and down and said "you look like a sl#t in that skirt" I got angry about that and out of rage, I took off a shoe and hit him with it, but it got worse because my dad agreed with him, yes, he said, "If your brother thinks like that, what do you think the others will think?" To top it all off, he called two older brothers and they also supported him. I ended up locking myself in my room, I looked at the skirt and I didn't see anything wrong with it, I looked at it for hours until I simply gave up on my plans to go out. That was practically two weeks ago, since that day I don't speak to them unless it's important. My mom texted me today, asking, "Why do I give my dad and brothers the silent treatment?" and that "my dad feels bad about it." I didn't sent a response so, I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice so I can answer my mom and explain all of this to her. I consulted with some friends, while some friends (both men and women) told me that my dad went too far by not defending me from my brother's comment, two friends told me that I was exaggerating because of my brother's comment and that, instead of complaining, I should take it as advice. So, Reddit, AITAH? Selected comments Unfortunately for me, my father and mother are only children. My mother lost contact with her family after she married my father, and in my father's case, he was in the foster care system until he was adopted by an older couple who didn't have any children. At one point, I was curious to ask a friend's mother her opinion, but then I felt it was weird. & I live in England, my family is not 100% religious, only my grandmother is, but she lives far away and is not even aware of the situation or the skirt. & I left her [OOP's mother] a message asking to talk tonight by phone, my father will take my brothers to eat pizza at a restaurant they like so I could be able to talk to her Deleted update -- 21 May 2025 (Taken from the automod backup.) First of all, thanks to the people who left their comments and to the little person who sent me a private message. I don't know how it all went to shit, honestly. I'll summarize the call and everything that happened: My mother was furious. It turns out my father only told her the part where I questioned him about why I should change my clothes. I sent her the picture of the skirt and I even put the outfit back on and sent her a picture of myself in it. It was there that my dad burst in, they had arrived earlier than I had calculated. He started yelling at me, I didn't understand almost anything, everything happened so fast that I barely realized when my dad started tearing my clothes, ALL my clothes. Not only the winter one, but the one he saw as "inappropriate", like strapless shirts, pajamas, skirts, shorts and a few dresses. I cried to him to stop, but he didn't. I don't remember how much I cried, but the noise was enough for my brothers to come up, they just watched, they did nothing to stop my dad I kept crying, begging him to stop, begging my brothers to do something, it was then that I heard mom scream, she was still on call. I saw how all my dad's anger turned into shock and fear, almost the same with my brothers. My mom told me to call a friend to stay with her, because tomorrow she would take the first flight home. So here I am now, on my best friend's couch, wearing one of his t-shirts and his pants since I don't have pajamas anymore. I don't know what's going to happen, I can barely process what's happening and how it happened so fast. My dad hasn't stopped calling me, nor have my brothers. I'm going to turn off my phone soon so I can sleep in peace. My best friend's mom already knows about the situation and told me that I can stay as long as I need, and that if I have any questions, I can tell her. My friend let me use her stuffed animals so I could feel accompanied since I left mine at home. Tomorrow my mom will probably come for me, I don't know what will happen and I just pray that everything goes well. Update posted to r/AITAH -- 22 May 2025 Good afternoon/day or night! I'm calmer now so I can give you an update. Also, I'm going to eat in a few moments, so I thought I'd leave this here. Before I start, thank you all for leaving your comments and to the two people who spoke to me privately, it means a lot to me. I'm going to summarize the call with my mom. She was furious and asked me for photos of the clothes I wore, and also asked for a photo of me wearing them. And well, for the few who managed to read my previous post before I deleted it, I stayed at my friend's house after my dad put on a show and tore all my clothes. I was lucky my phone didn't hang up when my dad walked in like crazy, because my mom heard the whole thing and recorded it. So, coming to the present, my mom called my friend's mom, asking her to take me to see my dad at a cafe for breakfast. I'll be honest, it scared me. After remembering what happened the night before and my father's previous behavior, I felt like I didn't recognize him. Something I forgot to mention is that he rarely acts like this. I have seen him angry with other people, but never with my brothers or me. We went to a little cafe where my mother used to frequent before leaving and there I found my father, it seemed like he had cried for hours, as if he hadn't slept. We talked for a while and he apologized, not only for the "b#tch" thing, but also for not stopping my brothers and also for ripping my clothes. I asked him for an explanation, since he hadn't even given me one when about the skirt, he looked down and said he thought that if his words and those of my brothers affected him, he was going to change my clothes, WTF? Yes, that was my reaction, not in words, but in feelings. I told him that it did affect me, but not just the clothes, but the fact that I allowed my brothers to call me a "bitch" behind my back and make fun of it. He started to cry. I'll be honest, I didn't understand why. I read a lot here about crocodile tears and emotional manipulation. He said he was sorry, that he never wanted me to get to this point, that he didn't know how to handle the fact that I was growing up, and that he didn't want to lose me. The conversation led to nothing and I'm still at my friend's house. In the case of my brothers, none of them have spoken to me. My mom left me a message before she left for work, telling me that she had already spoken to my brothers and my dad. The good news to liven this up is that my friend got me another plush toy for my collection, one of Shadow the hedgehog. For now, everything has stayed like this: me at my friend's house and my dad with my brothers. I feel like there's something else my dad didn't tell me, I mean, like I mentioned, he never acted like that before, or maybe I didn't see it, but to be honest, I feel like there's something my dad isn't telling me, and so do my brothers. Thank you very much for the support, my Shadow plushie and I say goodbye 👋 Selected comments I'm still staying with my friend and her mother, as I mentioned, I don't know what exactly my mother told my father and my brothers, regarding clothing, for now I'm using the few clothes I managed to save and a few items from my friend's sister, thank you very much for your concern and for commenting & Unfortunately no, I answered in my previous post (the original) that my mom distanced herself from her family and my dad was adopted by an older couple when he was a teenager, I only have a "heart grandmother" (she is not my blood) who took care of me when my parents went out, currently she moved to another city and I don't know what happened to her, I only know that my mom has contact with her sometimes. In the case of clothes, my mom says that as compensation when she comes, we will go shopping together. Even so, I will miss my clothes, since I had bought many of those items at fairs and I doubt I will find them now. & [Asked if she could live with her mother] For now it is not possible, she lives with two other women where she works, she said she would bring forward her visit to talk about this face to face with my dad and brothers & My mom is a lawyer and is currently in a divorce case due to domestic violence. She traveled to South Korea to represent the plaintiff since she is an old friend of hers. Since the time difference is eight hours, I always have to calculate what time she is free and what day I can call her. [A lawyer challenged OP about her mother being a lawyer]: Lawyer here - this is a very unusual thing you're describing. An international lawyer, if that's what she is, would be unlikely to take a domestic violence case in South Korea and then do something else in another state or country. That's what my mom mostly tells us, other times she tells us about cases where she work or where she help, etc. The case itself is not about work, it's about a friend of hers who asked for help (something I mentioned when responding to a comment), and with the thing about my mom leaving me hanging... well, sometimes I just prefer to believe that she's busy, she always makes up for it when she comes to visit and takes me somewhere. & My dad mostly took care of me and my siblings when we were kids, while my mom sent money, he cooked, cleaned, shopped, managed the money, etc. In the case of the update I deleted, I did it when it was almost midnight, I was tired and could barely process what happened, but in short, when I was sending the picture of the clothes to my mom (as I mentioned), my dad came in screaming like a madman, as I mentioned, I still don't fully understand his actions since not even he gave me a valid explanation, although my friend suggested that maybe my dad thought I was sending inappropriate pictures to someone. Update 2 -- 26 May 2025 Good night/afternoon or morning to everyone For those of you in my time zone, you might be wondering, "What am I doing writing so late?" Well, as I usually say, "things happened," so I prefer to keep you informed, in addition to answering questions. But first of all, I really appreciate the help and advice given in my previous post, this teenager says it sincerely from the bottom of her heart Answering frequently asked questions: • No, living with my mom isn't possible for two reasons: First, my mom is away too much. She doesn't have a home office. That wouldn't be a problem for me since I know how to cook, do my own laundry, and clean up after myself. The other thing is that my mom lives with two other women where she's staying this time. One is an older woman and the other is divorced. Both rented the room with the no-children rule, so no, it's not possible. •No, I never saw my dad act this way in front of me, as I mentioned in the comments and in my previous update, he never behaved this way with me, he is usually very affectionate and understanding, so as I mentioned, I don't know what the reason for that outburst of anger was. •And no, my parents are not divorced, the reason my mom is always away is because of work, she got pregnant with my older brothers (Andrew/Andy and Elijah) when they were 21, my dad stayed behind to take care of both of them until my mom got a good job, then they had my twin and me, she is still far away and the money she sends is usually enough and even left over for everyday things, school, extra activities, etc. Now, with the update, two days ago, my brother Andy (22 M) wrote me a message, asking if we could talk, the truth is I got a little nervous, I asked him if we could talk on the phone and he said yes. As a comment recommended, I recorded the conversation with my brother in case something happened, in addition to having my best friend's sister as moral support. The conversation was trivial at first, Andy asked me if I ate well, slept well, the usual stuff, until we got to the topic at hand. He apologized, saying he was an idiot and should have measured what he said. I asked him why he did that, why he used those words. At first, he gave me the same explanation as my dad (that is, it was to persuade me to change my clothes). I told him to tell me the truth, that I needed a rational and sincere explanation. I heard him sigh and he said, "You wouldn't understand." I asked him what exactly I didn't understand, but he was stubborn in not telling me, I asked him if Mom told him anything, he said that Mom scolded him and my brothers for treating me like that and that we would talk about it when she got back, he also asked me when I would be coming home. I told him that I would stay at my friend's house until mom came and that's where we started to argue, he told me that it was stupid to hide at my friend's house, that it was cowardly and childish to run away just because of a comment, I replied that after dad tore my clothes no matter how much I cried, he no longer made me feel safe, less because neither he nor our other two brothers (his twin and my twin) defended me or comforted me, they just watched and turned a blind eye until mom had to intervene. Upon mentioning Mom, he started by telling me that I shouldn't have brought Mom up, since she was already stressed enough with her job to listen to my tantrums, and that we could have worked it out at home. I told him this wasn't a tantrum, they literally ganged up on each other calling me a sl#t and making derogatory comments about my outfit, then let dad rip my clothes, I asked him if he even bothered to think about if this would affect me and he stayed silent, then he ended the call telling me not to do stupid things at my friend's house and hung up, I cried, I know, probably pathetically, I really would like to say that I didn't feel anything and that I didn't care what he said, but regardless, this is my brother I'm talking about. Then before dinner, Eijah (22 M, Andy’s twin), called me. I thought about not answering considering my argument with Andy but decided to. He didn’t use any platitudes and told me straight up that I got him, my other two brothers, and dad in huge trouble by “going to cry on mom” and then “running away into my best friend’s lap.” I told him what he expected. I didn’t get any answers from any of them about what happened. None of them helped me when dad was ripping my clothes and I was begging him to stop. I told him I didn’t run away into anyone’s lap and that I didn’t cry to mom, I just told mom what happened and that I’m staying somewhere safe. I just heard him groan and he told me to “not do anything stupid.” Before I could ask him what he meant, he hung up. I suspected that my twin brother (Toby, 16 M) would also call later, but he just texted me saying "I hope you're happy now." I was confused most of the night, I tried to call my mom, but she left me a message saying "I'm about to finish the case, just give me three more days and I'll be there, I love you." Let's move on to the accident on Saturday (when my brothers spoke to me it was on Friday), I went out with my best friend for a walk, we were planning to go to a McDonald's with his sister and his cousin (his sister is 19 and his cousin is 10 F, she is quite quiet and I really adore this little one), it was early, almost 3 in the afternoon, lunch hadn't filled us up so my friend's mom and my friend's cousin's mom gave us permission. We sat at a table and I was the one assigned to order the food, everything was normal until I saw my two older brothers enter the restaurant, my heart froze, I looked back at the counter, praying that the line would get longer so they wouldn't see me, to my misfortune, they did. Almost immediately the first thing they did was ask me "What the hell was I doing here alone?" I told them I wasn't, that my friend's family was here. I wanted to pretend I didn't know them, to ignore them, but that wasn't possible. Andy asked me whose shirt it was and I told him it was my friend's. I don't know why, but that made them mad. Elijah told me that they warned me not to do anything stupid and told me they would take me home, I stepped aside when he tried to grab me and I told him what stupid thing he was talking about. I'm writing here that if any of you are standing, you'd better sit down, because what my brother told me made me feel so nauseous that I wanted to jump out of a window. He told me that wearing my friend's shirt was a sign that I slept with him, yes, you are not hallucinating and it is not your glasses (if any of you wear glasses), those were my brother's words, I asked him why the hell he thought that and he said that when a girl wears a boy's shirt, it is because he has marked his territory. That's when I really lost it. I told my brother he was a creep for even suggesting that, that my friend let me borrow that shirt because I'd run out of the few shirts I'd managed to save and was now washing them, that both my friend and I were still teenagers, and the fact that they made that assumption was just disgusting. Apparently that only made them believe their suspicions more and they yelled back at me, Andy said not to lie, to tell the truth and that if I did, they wouldn't tell dad. I yelled back, telling him that it was disgusting, that I wouldn't confess to something I didn't do and to leave me alone, Elijah then told me to stop being so stubborn and spoiled, then he added something that hurt me, he said he didn't understand why I was so offended by the "sl#t" thing if I was behaving like one, that's where the comment he made, that I "ran into someone else's lap" made sense, I felt nauseous, disgusted and in pain, it made me think that if that was how my older brothers saw me. I was about to answer, but then a scream fell on both of us, it was my friend's little cousin, she started screaming that "These two bad men (referring to my brothers) were yelling bad things at me", that caught the attention of two mothers who appeared, as well as my best friend and his sister, the rest was a blur to me. For what I know, my brothers were tell to leave the place, they tried to take me with them, but my friend and his sister didn't let them. We ended up buying takeout and my friend called his mom to pick us up, I don't know at what point I started crying, but my friend's little cousin noticed and gave me one of her fries to make me stop crying, it turns out that she and my friend's sister were looking at what toys were available in the Happy Meal, it was then that the little one separated from my friend's sister to let me know what toy she wanted when she saw my brothers yelling at me. My friend then asked me what happened and I told him and his mom everything, needless to say my friend's mom was furious. After dinner I spoke to my mom, I wrote to her and told her everything, she replied "just a few more days honey, I'll be there right away", I don't know if it was the pent up frustration or what happened at the restaurant, but I exploded, I sent her a voice message saying that I needed her now, not in a few days, that I didn't understand what the hell was going on since it seemed like neither she nor my dad, much less my brothers, were being honest with me, that my brothers had said horrible things to me, that my dad was acting like a stranger and that she only said "we would talk about it when she got back", I told her that I was her daughter, that I admired her for what she did at work and what she did for her friend, but right now, I needed her, I needed my mom. I ended the voice message by telling her I wanted to stay at my friend's house even if she came, since after today and her attitude, I didn't feel safe with anyone, not with her or my dad, less with my brothers. I cried all night in silence, out of anger over this whole situation, but also out of guilt, because I know my mom is working her ass off every day to provide us with a good lifestyle and not make us go without, and I exploded at her. I'm sorry my update is so long and without any good news, I'd like to say that I feel better now but honestly I feel like everything around me is upside down, from what I know my brothers have told everyone they know that they saw me wearing my best friend's shirt which to them means that he "marked" me or whatever that means in their fucking minds, my dad didn't say anything and my mom didn't say anything about my audio. For now, I'm more "calm." My friend's mom lets me join her in her hobbies of pottery and embroidery, and she also gave me some old paper doll cutouts to design clothes and keep me busy. I could never be more grateful to this woman and her entire family, as well as to all of you, Reddit. Also, if you have any advice on what to give a 10-year-old girl, I would really appreciate it. Her birthday is in two months and I want to give her a gift for helping me out there. For now I say goodbye, I hope you have a good night, morning or afternoon, and I will update you if anything happens. Selected comments u/ypranch: Your mom is a POS too. You're being abused, sexually assaulted by your own family and instead of high tailing it home, she's still finishing her work. And who cares about a no child rule? Then she needs to get new accommodations so you can stay with her. We are originally from England. My mom has records of living here. In my dad's case, I know his adoptive parents are from here and that he spent most of his life in foster care. So, there aren't many ethnic or religious issues. Our parents never forced religion on us. Regarding the culture, I feel like I should do more research. With my mom, well, I feel like it's a habit and a lost cause. I still feel bad about the voice message I sent her, because I know she does what she can, but at the same time, it fills me with frustration that she's not here. I sincerely thought that I had already been able to overcome the feeling of absence, but it seems that I haven't. & [Asked if her father knows about what happened at McD:] My dad knows about the confrontation, from the little I know through a mutual friend I have with my twin, I know that both he and my dad are aware of what happened but neither said anything, as for him asking for help or going to the police, I'm gathering the evidence I can, I know that nothing will happen without evidence, so first I want to have a solid foundation & [Again challenged about living in the UK:] Here I should clarify, yes, I am from England, but since quarantine I have been using the occasional American word. I became interested in American English, and I also have a friend from the US who tends to use these types of words (sometimes we jokingly fight over him making fun of my accent). I can't say what part of England I am from for privacy reasons, but I can confirm that I am from here. "Final update" -- 30 May 2025 Good morning, afternoon or evening (depending on where you are)! I bring you what I hope is the latest update on what happened. I appreciate the concern, comments, and suggestions for my friend's cousin's gift. I'm going to try to summarize a little bit of everything that happened, first of all, my mother didn't come back, we both talked and I ended up discovering things that, although they felt heavy, explained the situation to me "better": The first thing (which I mentioned in a comment) is that the reason my mom was gone so much was because she needed "her space." I asked her what she meant by that, and she told me that they were only expecting one baby (my twin). When they did the first ultrasound to see him, I wasn't that "visible" (my mom's words). It wasn't until the second ultrasound that they finally noticed me. So, for those who theorized that I was the daughter of a lover, I am an "unexpected surprise." My mom said that neither she nor my dad were ready for a girl, when my twin and I were born, mom was anxious since having a girl, she would now have to stay at home more to guide me. My dad assured her that he would understand me and that my mom would not worry, I think she took that literally. I asked her why she was telling me this until now and it turns out that the divorced woman my mother currently lives with (in a comment I said she lives with two women) listened to my audio when my mother played it, sat my mother down and told her that I needed her, that if she didn't do something now, she would lose me like she, the divorced woman, lost her children. She apologized for prioritizing herself as a woman more than me. She said she thought I was safe and calm at home, but after this, she understands that she was wrong to be out of my life and that of my brothers. We talked a little more, mostly about what I wanted and if I was sure I wanted to stay at my friend's house. I said yes, and then she talked to my friend's mom, so they agreed that I would stay with my friend's mom. The talk with my dad and my brothers... well, it was by video call with my mom too. To be honest, I had already resigned myself to never having an explanation for all of this. The call can only be summarized in what happened in the restaurant, a scolding for my brothers and the news that I will be staying with my friend. My dad tried to object, but my mom silenced him. So now I officially live with my friend, her sister and her mom. The rules in the house are manageable and I feel comfortable here. My friend and I call each other "neighbors" and we agree to have movie marathons on Sundays. I chose a My Hero Academia anime movie and my friend will watch E.T. with me next week. As for clothes, my mom sends money, I'll go with my friend's sister next week. She saw my style the times I went out with my friend, so she's taking me to a few stores to recover some of my old wardrobe. I had one last talk with my dad on my friend's porch (with his mom watching). He apologized for disappointing me, for not protecting me, and cried again. Many will probably judge me here, but I accepted his goodbye hug. It hurts that things ended like this. He said he would find a way to earn my trust again and that he didn't want to lose me. As for my brothers, I only received an apology from Andy, while my twin sent me a photo of my room still intact with the phrase "it will be the same when you return." So here I am now, at my friend's house, in my new room with a few paper dolls that I made clothes for. I still keep the same calling schedule with my mom, while my dad will text me on weekends to check on me, that was my parents' arrangement. For my expenses, my friend's mother will be the one who receives a sum of money for anything: food, hygiene products, medicines, etc. I really appreciate the comments and support. I'll leave it there. If something serious happens, I'll update you. But for now, I think this will end here. A big hug to everyone who commented and have a nice morning/afternoon/night. Bye Final update 2 -- 8 August 2025 Hi, good morning/night to everyone. I think this is really the end. First of all, thank you for your support. And second, I will focus on the most important topics My brother, Elijah, get into a problem: In short, he was acting inappropriately and violently toward a female friend of his (20). From what I know, it seems my brother was at this friend's apartment along with two others. My brother tried to flirt with her but her friend rejected his advances. He started yelling at her that she "got his hopes up" and that "she was a b#tch like all the others" (I'm starting to think the men in my family are fixated on that word). A friend (let's call him X) tried to calm things down, while Y (the other friend) called my brother's friend a prude. The shouting got louder and my brother yelled all sorts of obscenities at the girl, at one point he tried to force a kiss on her, but friend "X" punched my brother, starting a fight. The neighbors heard and called the police, the girl is now filing a complaint. My brother Toby (my twin) moved in with his friend: This took me by surprise, honestly. I found out when we talked on the phone, and was for him from I found out about Elijah. Apparently, the tension at home had become unbearable, and Toby had been staying with a friend of his. Toby apologized for his actions and his participation, he said that he went with the flow of what happened, and that it was his group of friends who made him see what was wrong, I asked him if he knew anything (about THAT thing), which brings me to the third point. Possible answer: Toby told me that Dad and my older brothers' actions were to "keep an eye on me," since they were apparently "afraid" I'd go off track. This confused me. I asked Toby if there were any signs that I had stepped out of that "line". Please, here is the small space where I ask that you read the following carefully. It turns out this was brewing when Toby and I were 13, right in the school year. There was a mother of a classmate (let's call her Z) who couldn't stop "worrying" about my female classmates. Apparently, at a parent-teacher conference, Z's mother couldn't stop pointing out how "affectionate" the girls in my class were with the boys, she pointed out hugs as inappropriate, gifts as signs of "wanting something more and getting it through small gestures," and (what really infuriated me) that if a girl and a boy from the same class arrived together and were late, it meant that "something happened." Yep, you read it. I know Z. She's the kind of classmate who screams loudly if you're eating in class or if you've said something "rude". In the eyes of teachers and parents, she was a saint, but behind closed doors? She was the very embodiment of her mother's "concerns." These "concerns" reached my dad, who according to Toby, initially ignored them, but then started asking him (that is, Toby) to keep an eye on me. Here I should give a little context, in the school there were two classrooms, classroom 1 was for those with an average of A+, A and -A (that is the grading system used in my school) while classroom 2 was for students with an average of B and below, in both classrooms the same thing is taught, but those in classroom 1 have more practice than theory, while in classroom 2 there is more theory than practice. Toby and I were in classroom 2, but at 13 I moved to classroom 1 when my grades improved, there I met my best friend (with whom I now live and who became my neighbor) According to Toby (and for which he later apologized), when I went to classroom 1, he was just telling my dad that I was always with my best friend, was I eating my lunch? I was with him, art club? He was there with me. This is because we rarely met in both classrooms, so whenever we crossed paths, Toby saw me with my friend (I'm going to give my friend a name, he likes Deltarune so now I'll call him Kris) And instead of my dad talking to me, he just asked Toby for more details and try to find more. Apparently my other two brothers also knew about the concerns, and (this is my theory) if we base it on the fact that Elijah had a friend like Y, I think Andy also got the idea that I was "very close" to Kris. I asked Toby if they'd ever thought of talking to me about all this, but he said that, according to Dad, "If I knew they were watching me, I'd be more secretive." We talked awkwardly for a while longer; it was a three-hour call, according to my phone logs, I think the longest we'd ever talked. I said goodbye wishing him the best, he said goodbye telling me that he hopes things get better (which I doubt) Now point 4. 4) My mom came: She arrived at my friend's house, she asked me if I already went to buy the clothes with the money she sent, I answered only a part and she offered to go with me for the last part, it was in the shoe section that we both talked. She apologized again, I asked if she knew anything about what Toby told me and she said yes, but that she didn't think it would go that far. The conversation was... weird, frustrating and somewhat painful, we both hugged near the end. It brought back bad memories of my little self clinging to my mom so she wouldn't leave. In that conversation we brought up the subject of Elijah and Andy, she will not support Elijah for what he did, in Andy's case, it seems they both talked, he left me a letter that he wrote. In my dad's case... well, that brings me to my final point. 5) My dad is hospitalized: Apparently, he and Elijah had a fight after the problem with the girl, (chronologically, the accident with the girl happened at the beginning of this month.), Toby was right to leave since apparently, the fights between my dad and Elijah got worse. Elijah didn't take what he did seriously, he went out more with his friend Y and came back late smelling of alcohol and cigarettes. Apparently, in a fight, Elijah used the fact that both Toby and I left as a weapon, saying something like "The fact that your two youngest children prefer their friends' houses than being here shows that you screwed up" and left in a huff, apparently this affected him more and Andy found him unconscious, Andy was the one who took him to the hospital and he hasn't moved from there since then, according to Andy, dad has something related to stress. I went to see him twice, we talked and I asked him about everything, he confirmed only part of the story that Toby told me, I kept the conversation calm since I didn't want to make his condition worse, I said goodbye with a hug, which he hugged me back, we stayed like that for a while until I left. The second and last time I visited him was two days ago, he told me that he planned to seek help, he told me that he and Mom would go to couples therapy first and then individual therapy to handle some problems. To close, Andy's letter was the last thing I read (he didn't speak to me at the hospital), it was only a few paragraphs but in short, he also apologized, his version was that he and Dad didn't know how to handle things and everything got out of control, there were small fragments that made me somewhat validate Toby's version, he closed the letter with a "take care." That's a summary. I plan to talk to a psychologist first. I don't want to burden my friend's mom with things like this. For now, I'm fine. Movie nights continue, and my problems aren't as bad. If Elijah's situation worsens, I might update, but for now, I bow and say goodbye to all of you, who gave support that this silly teenager needed. Selected comments [About her mother's trips:] In my previous updates, I explained that my mom started traveling more after I turned 12. In what was supposed to be the final one, I learned that only a few of my mom's trips were for work; others were just to be more "free". In the case of my older brothers (Andy and Elijah), I know they had my mom when they were young and up until they were 10, since when they were born, her "trips" weren't that frequent, she would be out for 3 or 4 weeks, but after my brother Toby and I were 12, she started to travel more. I know this all confusing, but I'm trying to sum it all up, sorry for any typo. & IcyWheel asked about OP's mother: So what is her plan now? As I mentioned in this post, it seems my mom and dad will be in therapy, I don't know how things will continue, on our outing to the mall, she told me that she planned to stay at least until October or December.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. submitted by /u/FunnyAnchor123 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]