Pink Cat Eye Nails

... been hanging out with the cat. I’ve thought about getting a... having someone else cut my nails.” “I understand.” “Not me, man,” ... to face Kris. They made eye contact and Kris saw, just, ... About 15 minutes later, once nails had (mostly) dried, Billie and ...,” Kris ran her short finger nails across Billie's soles as she ... steady to borderline breathless. Her pink flush reddened. The chat was ...

... X Press Gel Bubble Aurora Cat Eye Press On Nails Kit (16 Sizes, Medium... is free. Includes: 224 press-on nails in 16 sizes (0-15) 10ml... Portable mini nail lamp Features: Cat eye effect with magnetic gel technology; ... than standard polishes Pre-shaped press-on nails; no filing required Crafted from... Medium almond shape 7 colors: pink, orange, yellow, purple, blue, green...

.... One bloodshot, gimlet yellow eye that seemed to glare at... hair and a green eye that seemed just as ... you should've left that cat alone." Jimmy's scowl deepened and... the classroom, carefully painted nails catching the light. The tired... Bryce an annoyed side eye. "I bet you wouldn't be... painting. "I really like Pink and Justin Timberlake and the ...the skin around his bug eye especially red and puffy, he...

... effect. In the right lighting, pink could almost be hellfire red... turn too-long, just so. Her nails are sharp and fade to... shoe. That's a lot of cat food. - Gotham City -... Shade flashes in her mind's eye. Definitely not. She pulls a...

... had the look of a cat that was getting scratched in ... software we'd just bought. A pink alien that looked to be ... was trembling with rage. My nails bit into the skin of .... "It kinda looks like an eye," Cabba noted, and I found ...

...her perfectly still, like a cat perched and waiting to pounce ... neck. Now she was the cat. A tired, lazy cat tilting her head back to ...being tickled. Every time the nails drew closer to the center ... stopped, those wicked, wonderful red nails resting right along the base ... and a matching pair of pink pajama pants sprinkled with colorful ... cast by the television. Her eye trailed down the blonde’s strong ...

...And like a God damn cat who'd caught a mouse, he'd...burnt meat, giving me an eye. {…your idioms continue to ...eye could close—so irritating…} She opened her mouth, stuck her pink...signaled a lot. Her clean eye gleamed its thready digi-blue; ...a puppy dog or kitty cat. He had jaws—and ...didn't look me in the eye as he walked past. Wait,...downfaced; her fingers fiddled with nails that didn't exist, a tremor ...

...And like a God damn cat who'd caught a mouse, he'd...burnt meat, giving me an eye. {…your idioms continue to ...eye could close—so irritating…} She opened her mouth, stuck her pink...signaled a lot. Her clean eye gleamed its thready digi-blue; ...a puppy dog or kitty cat. He had jaws—and ...didn't look me in the eye as he walked past. Wait,...downfaced; her fingers fiddled with nails that didn't exist, a tremor ...

... got going (long fingers, short nails, faint scar across the knuckles..., actually screamed, into my shoulder, nails raking down my back through... would flip her off, cheeks pink, and disappear upstairs to do... pillow, and stretched like a cat. “Told the photographer if he... her legs around my waist, nails dragging lightly down my back... her time to catch her eye. It had to make a...

... a sticky-looking floor and a cat asleep on the end of ... hadn't noticed. He caught Hermione's eye. She was already moving. They ... went a satisfying shade of pink. His mouth opened, closed, opened ... workshop with solder under his nails and sixty-seven pounds in a ...

...bed, stretching like a cat. “Too bad. First come,...moved, something caught her eye. Rebecca had kicked her ... and laughed. “What, cat got your tongue? Or are...focused there, scribbling her nails gently across all five white-painted...cheeks were already turning pink. Leonie chuckled. “Sure you’re ... both sets of nails to flutter rapidly across the...I can still feel your nails everywhere.” A long, heavy ...

... allowed him to adopt the cat he spent so much of... son's orchestra didn't sound like nails on a chalkboard. Gee, I... frilly full-length pink ballgown. But the dress wasn't what caught her eye. Well..., its me, Yoruichi, your beloved cat, you can tell me anything. "..., I wasn't always your pet cat" Yoruichi said. "Once upon a... now, being Yoruichi, friendly neighborhood cat, than I ever was being ...

... Radiance> • 65 Bobby Caldwell - <Cat in the Hat> • 66 Daryl... & Barnes - <An Eye for an Eye> • 59 Bobby Womack -... The Alan Parsons Project - <Eye In The Sky> • 35 Venom... <The Message> • 55 Survivor - <Eye Of The Tiger> • 56 Talk... <Peace, Love and Murder> • 50 Pink Turns Blue - <If Two... Nation 1814> • 16 Nine Inch Nails - <Pretty Hate Machine> • 17...

...cat's head, and the cat went back to purring, but kept one eye on Danny. "The most... occupied, even the huge cat enjoying his attentions, because that ...wasn't any ordinary cat, that was — 'Fucking ridiculous,' ...a fist and dug his nails as deep into the flesh ..., and even the big cat — the Persian — enjoying his attentions ...necessary. A glimpse of something pink peeked through the gap before ...

... nails bit into my palm, the water dripping from my fists turning pink... stood frozen like a scared cat on a magic circle in... talk this over-!" A tiny cat girl was lunging at me ... eyes shimmering as we held eye contact. The door slammed open... girl for comparison.' With pink and white-striped wallpaper, thick, cream... nose and mouth, and glowing pink eyes. "A-auuuh, awww, n-not again...

...forehead like a malicious third eye. Was it just Lilian's ... into being. The iron nails digging into Lilian's neck seemed...neck from where the Handmaiden's nails dug into her tender ...and sudden that the Handmaiden's nails raked against Lilian's throat, ...a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard. WHY,...PLAY WITH YOU AS A CAT PLAYS WITH A MOUSE. WE... tongue. Ragged ribbons of pink and red hung from the ...

... there was…a cake. A pink one. The one made with ... written on it with thick pink frosting letters. It even had ... a mission to catch a cat. Obviously, I wasn't going to ... sheepish smile — he had deep eye bags and looked like shit. ... could see dirt beneath his nails. I shuddered at the thought ... moment with his one visible eye, which had that droopy quality ... on the corner of my eye, I did not react as ...

... Radiance> • 65 Bobby Caldwell - <Cat in the Hat> • 66 Daryl... & Barnes - <An Eye for an Eye> • 59 Bobby Womack -... The Alan Parsons Project - <Eye In The Sky> • 35 Venom... <The Message> • 55 Survivor - <Eye Of The Tiger> • 56 Talk... <Peace, Love and Murder> • 50 Pink Turns Blue - <If Two... Nation 1814> • 16 Nine Inch Nails - <Pretty Hate Machine> • 17...

Did my nails tonight with the prettiest golden pink cat eye 😍 submitted by /u/bb-bubu12 to r/Nails [link] [comments]

I'm new to this sub, looking to swap with someone who has some small sizes of short or medium-length nails left over! I'm usually sizes 2, 7, 9, 10, 11. I tried to include product images for the sets I have when I could find them, and I have the sizes listed below along with their actual product name and what they look like (so you can find what you're looking for from the pictures). The product photos aren't mine, but the other photos are. Feel free to ask any questions, and thanks so much! So excited to swap! 1. "Glamnetic Butterfly Effect Short Almond" Looks like: Almond Butterfly and Black French Tip 2x: 0,1,3,4,5,6, 11, 14 1x: 8, 12, 13 0x: 2,7,9,10 2. "Nail Reformation Short Square in Lychee Jelly" Looks like: Squoval Cat's Eye Nude-Silver Ombre 2x: 0,3,4,5,13,14 1x: 1,2,6,9,10, 11,12 0x: 7, 8 So so so pretty in person, photos don't do it justice! 3. "Ohora Cured Gel French Chrome Medium Oval" Looks like: Short Almond Chrome French Tips No sizes, see photos for what's left Set includes "primer" (glue/adhesive) 4. "OPI xPRESS/ON Long Almond in Editor in Chic" Looks like: Pink Medium Almond Cat's Eye 2x: 0,1,3,4,5,6,7,8,11,13,14 0x: 2,7,9,10,12 5. "KISS Core Magnetic Medium Almond in Apple Blossom" (runs large!) Looks like: Deep Red Medium Almond Cat's Eye 2x+: 00, 0, 1, 3, 4 (x3), 5 (x4), 6, 7(x5) Could probably use twice for someone with the right sizes! 6. "KISS Gel Fantasy Magnetic Velvety Effect Medium Almond in Stream" (runs large!) Looks like: Purple-Gold Color-Shifting Medium Almond Cat's Eye 2x: 0,1,2,4,5,6,7,8,9 1x: 11, 12 0x: 3x, 10, 13, 14 7. "colorFX by Impress No-Glue-Needed Short Squoval in Starstruck" (new) Looks like: Short Squoval Champagne Cat's Eye New, all sizes in box with glue tabs/extras Nails come with glue tabs already stuck to the nails 8. SHEIN Long White Cat's Eye Swirl (new, no glue/extras) New, size S Bought about several years ago, can't find the listing for the actual product name submitted by /u/Sigfig314 to r/PressOnNailSwap [link] [comments]

Fabulous Secret Powers Available now for most platforms, please restart your storefront or be patient if it does not appear for you, these updates can take some time to be rolled out to every region due to how the storefronts are set up. Update Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Uweu4vFds New Awesome New Hero & Skin Introduction As the final piece of our collaboration with Mattel, we are excited to welcome the newest Hero - He-Man, the most powerful man (err, Monkey) in the universe! As all well-versed Masters of the Universe fans know, He-Man is the alter ego of the noble Adam, Prince of Eternia. While He-Man is the eponymous hero, Prince Adam plays a huge role in the classic and more recent cartoons, so we went above and beyond to create 2 heroes in one with distinct attacks and abilities and the ability to transform between them! Prince Adam is always the deployed hero, who attacks quickly as a large melee style sword wielder and is immune to negative effects like Stuns from Bloons or Bosses. But you don’t have to wait long (or at all with the right Knowledge), as the real magic happens at level 3 when he unlocks his iconic Transformation ability, allowing him to hold aloft his magic sword and swap to his super-powered alter ego who trades the attack speed for sheer devastating damage, by the power of Grayskull! Now as many of you know from community discussions on She-Ra and Skeletor, the Mattel items must be presented as in-app purchases (IAPs) to fulfill our license obligations and do justice to this awesome, long-standing He-Man universe. We feel this full hero does that justice, and brings fun and exciting new mechanics that we want to make sure can be fairly used in all of our events and competitive modes. After much discussion, we made the only logical and (in)sane conclusion - instead of doing 2 heroes in 1, let’s do 4 heroes in 1! So we’re also introducing the noble Monkey of the Court, Dan D’Monke, and his secret identity, The Masqued Macaque! Technically identical for game balance but with entirely different 3d models, animations, descriptions, and voiceovers, Dan D’Monke fills the base Hero position on which the He-Man skin is applied, just as Adora and Obyn provide the base for She-Ra and Skeletor. To support the release of the major motion picture release of He-Man, we are presenting the He-Man and Dan D’Monke bundle pack exclusively for 2 weeks only upon release of v55. After two weeks, Dan D’Monke will become available for Monkey Money purchase like any other Hero. Until Dan D’Monke is available for Monkey Money unlock, he will not be enabled in any events or competitive modes. The Hero & Abilities Level 3 Transformation - Activation will blast nearby Bloons with crackling lightning and leave a short lingering attack speed bonus while swapping him back and forth between a quick supportive base form and a solo wrecking ball with alternate attacks and abilities. Level 7 Strategically allows another target tower to be teleported to another location. But when he’s transformed, he takes matters into his own hands and leaps across the battlefield to smash down at the target location himself in a devastating, stunning impact. Level 10 Ability rallies nearby towers, inspires them to shrug off negative Bloon effects and deal increased damage for a short time (at the cost of a slower attack speed) and the cry even activates the effects of passive abilities in radius as if a life were just lost. While transformed however he unleashes a Berserk Warcry that sends him into a hyper-speed frenzy, dashing wildly between Bloons across a huge range, shredding them into confetti (that you definitely shouldn’t let your cats play with). Hero Ultimate Survival Kit While certain attacks and effects are limited to one form or the other, this hero is tough as nails built to survive the densest Bloon rushes. Some of the mechanics that make this work are: the Net Trap catches and slows small groups of Bloons, the Magic Barrier where escaping Bloons cause a magical shield to burst out from the exit to reduce lives lost while shoving the Bloons back and stunning them, Taunt & Stomp to distract and reduce the damage of Bloons or confuse and scatter them, the Quick Thinking (pensive cooldown) clutch mechanic distracts Bloons on the verge of escape backwards, and First Aid will completely heal any damage from a leaked Bloon (assuming you survive the hit!) but only at a rate of 1 life healed per second for only one Bloon at a time - so try not to get hurt again until the healing is done! At the highest levels Mana Shield is generated just from popping Bloons, and his damage scales up the tougher the Bloon threat and the further they are through the track! As noted before, He-Man & Dan D’Monke can be obtained from the He-Man Booster Pack, He-Man Prestige Pack or the new Masters of the Universe Mega Pack which contains the entire set of the Mattel collab items. He-man comes with his own absolute secret Banner & Avatar ඞ Not to be forgotten, this bundle will also give a New Power - The Sword of Power. Throw the Sword of Power into the ground where it pulses periodically, generating Mana Shield and dealing damage while sending Bloons backwards. For the Power’s duration, both He-Man & She-Ra attack faster New Beginner Map - Skull Tweak The Iconic Skull from the legendary Skull Peak in Bloons TD5 makes a triumphant return, though slightly tweaked, who would’ve guessed it hadn’t yet reached its true peak? Originally a community made winning submission by Adriano Rossi released in 2014, this fan-favourite battlefield retains its classic layout, complete with rocky cliffside walls, deep fissures and Tim. Seeing this classic map come to life in a modern Bloons 3D setting is super rad! New Quests Another Path on the Park - A normal game of Bloons on Park Path. Except there’s another path for the Bloons to follow! Middle of the Wild West - Middle of the Road against some wild, rampagin’ Bloons. Join a Posse of Monkeys and try to win with reduced income Primary Power Pairs - Use Primary Monkeys to beat Underground with the Tier 5 limit increased by 1 for all paths! He-Man Has the Power! - Help He-Man and She-Ra save the day New Trophy Store Items Monkeys: OG Wind Up Dart Monkey pet for the Dart Monkey Game & UI: Classic Ninja Avatar, Classic Dart Monkey Avatar, Classic Monkey Ace Avatar, Wistful Quincy profile banner New CT Team Store items Building Props: JuiceBar Base Props: Sandcastle, Icecream monkey, Beach Umbrella, Volleyball Net, Monkey Drinking Coconut Water Props: Lifeboat, Swimming Monkey, Shark… Flying Props: Paragliding Monkey, Seagull Team Banners: PArty Hands banner Icons: Snoozing Cat icon, Fortified Castle icon Frames: New Scroll frame Social Seasons Social Season #2 is coming up, aiming for late June-early July, and we’re excited about the changes that we’ve made based on our own play experiences and community feedback. Right off the bat, we agree there were too many ‘win games’ goals for the first season. We had already done a significant pare back of target numbers and repeat tasks, but the goals released in Season #1 were still more of a time investment than intended, especially for players who were not setting up their games to make progress on 2 or more goals at the same time. Season #2’s goals have been designed to reduce the time investment overall and also to help players make progress on multiple goals at once. Our hope for Social Seasons continues to be that we’re providing fun, themed events with cool Perk and Global rewards that also provide reasons to mix up your normal play and try new builds. More details: For any ‘Win Games’ goal no single tier asks for more than 5-10 game wins Season #2 goals list has a more varied tasks and more tasks that can be mixed together with others for those who like to plan out simultaneous task clearing with the fewest games possible An indicator will now display when you have hit your daily contribution to global goals Season #2 has 7 new Perks, including Global Jungle Drums & a Monkey Super Star Of course, a new exclusive to Social Seasons Banner & Pet have been created for the Global rewards Theme hint: moustache Bug Fixes & General Changes A number of localization & ui fixes Resolved a number of minor analytic mis-counts found from Social Seasons Odyssey Completion screen should now show the icon for the difficulty you beat Resolved an issue with round budget generation in Apopaylpse / Freeplay rounds Resolved issues with some towers double dipping certain Monkey Knowledge points The ‘session token is invalid’ error popup now offers a "Logout" option to work around Review Map should no longer hide the Social Seasons button from the end-game screen Resolved a Dev build issue where if Quincy was level 7 at the start of round 25 - BOOM [Co-op] Moved the Home button on the Rejoining screen to prevent accidents [Powers] Hype Boost Monkey accuracy bonus no longer buffs 360° attacks [Powers] Tech Bot Primes with Abilities can now be targeted by other Techbots [Powers] xx3 Tech Bot Prime ability radius now increases with increases to tower range [Powers] Tech Bot & Prime’s Link or Unlink abilities no longer count as abilities used [Powers] Resolved a crash that would occur when placing a xx3 Techbot Prime, and then placing the other T3 Techbot Primes Event changes [Social Season] Resolved a conflict between multiple Social Season Medals [Social Season] The global progress bar now swaps to display Team progress when full [Boss Rush] Bloonarius should properly Bleed Bloons in Rush. If it bleeds we can pop it. [Boss Event] The projectile clear on Boss Spawn & End of Round should now properly destroy projectiles rather than expiring them, which will prevent Sub-Projectile spawns [Diamondback] Resolved a game crash that would occur in any game upon losing the first life of the game while using an ambidextrous 052 Boomerange monkey [Diamondback] No longer completely blocks abilities with ‘max pierce’ [Lych] Corrected the Boss Roundset within Boss Challenge mode [Lych] Skull damage thresholds should now work again Map Specific changes [Dark Castle] Removables should properly restore on map restart [Adora’s Temple] Should no longer layer track items inside the temple in some areas [Infernal] Resolved a visual issue with the background assets [Figgens Creek] Hasn’t been found. Still doesn’t exist. Legends changes [Frontier] Temporary Traits 'remaining rounds' countdown should now live update [Frontier] Frontier Bloons now list below all others in Sandbox & only after being seen [Frontier] Temporary Traits boosting Bananite now work on Bannite Clusters & Chests [Frontier] When already at full stamina, fishing will no longer play ‘Stamina Recovering’ [Rogue] Power Nexus and Master of All Trades artifacts should apply correctly together [Rogue] The Slipped on the Peel Artifact no longer slows Bloons on Zebra Bloon Tiles [Rogue] Resolved an issue with some Artifact produced projectiles not scaling in size [Rogue] Bloons on Zebra Bloon Tiles now benefit from Freeplay Speed modifiers [Rogue] The Tit for Tat Artifact will now speed up Bloons on Zebra Bloon Tiles [Rogue] Bargaining Chip no longer costs more to purchase from merchants [Rogue] All bosses should use their Elite Appearance in late stages [Rogue] Optimizations made to legends save files Tower Specific Fixes Desperado - A weapon swap bug that no longer matters as weapon swap was changed Super Monkey - Resolved an issue with temple not saving its full discount buff Super Monkey - Resolved a visual placement issue with the temple’s creation animation Ninja Monkey - Resolved an issue where x5x Grand Sabotage ability could be buffed Alchemist - Resolved an issue with some transformed towers losing Camo detection Alchemist - Alchemist Popssum pet can now be muted Druid - Projectile spread can now be buffed by Accuracy improvements Druid - Paragon should no longer consume cash while in Review Mode Druid - Should no longer be able to count. Themselves for Poplust buff during placement Mermonkey - xx5 Final Harmonic should no longer sometimes lose its hero buff Monkey Village - Resolved a minor verbal dispute with Striker Jones Beast Handler - Can no longer give a Merge button to Pro Farmers Hero Specific Fixes Quincy - just lost the game Gwendolin - No longer loses her extra projectiles after being buffed after loading a save Striker Jones - Should no longer cause x4x Bomb Shooters to not get the cooldown buff from 4xx Monkey Villages Geraldo - Glue is no longer invisible if placed at the top of a map Corvus - Resolved an issue where Camo Detection did not apply to the Repel Spell Platform Specific fixes [Netflix] Resolved a crash that could occur when loading Cloud Save mid-game Balance Changes Boomerang Monkey With 052 Permacharge much preferred due to the ease of obtaining pierce externally, we have moved the ability’s extra damage bonus from crosspath into the base upgrade so that 250 can be more competitive x5x Permacharge ability damage bonus increased 8 > 10 052 Permacharge ability damage bonus remains 10 Bomb Shooter Bomb Paragon is in a spot it seems to perform well, but it still doesn’t see a good spotlight in boss events so we’ve scaled up the Boss Bonuses with a bump in price. Main attack boss damage 2500 > 3500 Primary Cluster boss damage 1000 > 1250 Recursive Cluster boss damage 500 > 600 Paragon upgrade price 600k > 650k Glue Gunner With the 240 crosspath now providing MOAB Layer soaking, Glue Strike’s base ability will last through more layers before wearing off, but with a slower cooldown to match the T5 which already sits at a 40s cooldown. x4x Glue Strike layers glued by ability 3 > 5 x4x Glue Strike ability cooldown 30s > 40s Desperado Mid-path desperado’s pistol was intended to be a soft ‘minimum range’, but implementation was confusing and frustrating to use, somehow again right after Wolfy’s recent struggles (fun videos those), we decided to work on improving the first timer's desperado experience for this path. The Rifle weapon will now always take priority and shoot first over the pistol if there are targets within Rifle radius, HOWEVER, pistol range is now a true deadzone that the rifle cannot target within. TLDR; The pistol now attacks when there are only Bloons within the pistol radius and nothing in the rifle radius. x3x Rifle takes priority on attacks but cannot target Bloons inside pistol radius x3x Pistol range is now capped and will not scale with range buffs x3x Pistol range increased from 28 > 40 Monkey Buccaneer Buccaneer’s Merchantmen path will now gain a damage bonus based on how much spare cash you have on-hand. This introduces a fun trade-off where you can choose to hold onto cash for a combat boost at the cost of losing advantage from immediately snowballing into more economy. It’s kinda neat xx3 Merchantman with cash above $10,000 damage +100% xx4 Favoured Trades with cash above $10,000 damage +100% xx4 Favoured Trades with cash above $50,000 damage +200% Monkey Ace Spectre was making the save-up into into a Flying Fortress too effortless so it’s single target power has been lowered with a raised upgrade cost, enough to make this not quite so easy xx4 Spectre Frontal Bombs bonus to Ceramic reduced 5 > 4 xx4 Spectre Frontal darts damage reduced 8 > 6 xx5 Flying Fortress Frontal darts damage reduced 8 > 6 xx5 Flying Fortress price increased $85,000 > $90,000 Wizard Monkey The Wizard Paragon's Metamorph form bonus Boss damage from the main flamethrower attack has been reduced as it overperforms even without overclocking Flamethrower Boss bonus damage reduced from 1000 > 800 Druid The Monarch’s Superstorm re-hitting has felt like a success though it over-buffed single target performance while over-nerfing the blowback due to rapid pierce consumption, so we are scaling back the damage but reducing pierce penalties to balance this out. Additionally, to reduce game lag from attack speed double-dipping, the Druid Paragon's Vinenado cooldown has been increased, while its economy has been buffed with higher base income and a stronger Boss Skull multiplier - though we don’t want to quickly jump into making this easily self-sustaining the Boss Skulls in particular should now grant 5x the cash they did previously. Monarch of Storms 5xx storm damage 150 > 100 5xx Superstorm attack MOAB Penalty 4 > 2 5xx Superstorm attack BFB Penalty 14 > 8 5xx Superstorm attack DDT Penalty 7 > 6 5xx Superstorm attack ZOMG Penalty 44 > 32 (Paragon) Vinenado attack cooldown 6s > 18s (Paragon) Base Cash Generation 120 > 240 (Paragon) Bonus Cash Generation from farm tiers doubled (Paragon) Bonus Cash Generation from T5 farms doubled again (Paragon) Cash Generation multiplier for Boss Skulls 2x > 2.5x (total 5x) Spike Factory It was a day like any other. Waiting behind the front lines, ready for an attack, sat a lone "Long Life Spikes" factory. Sitting there, alone, the tower thought to itself "Is this all I have? Is this all I am? A machine meant to destroy these floating fools if they break through our defenses? Is my purpose only to sit here as backup? I want glory. I want power!" Alas, this was something it had thought about many times, though not once had it ever even seen a Bloon. This was the life given to those who defended the Monkey Meadows. As time went on, the lone factory grew older. One day, while minding its own business, it noticed something coming along the road… There it was, a single floating red Bloon. The Long Life Spikes instinctively prepared its spikes and finally claimed its first pop. While overjoyed by the accomplishment, that joy soon turned to dread at the sight of countless more Bloons following in the rounds ahead. "What is happening on the front lines?" it muttered to itself. "Was Ryan AFK? No matter, I must stand my ground!" And so countless rounds went by as the factory popped more and more Bloons… No longer just red, but innumerable variations of blue, green, yellow, and even pink. After some time, the small factory realised it could not keep up spike production at this pace, it needed more power, but felt totally helpless. Just as its last spikes were being destroyed and the end seemed near, it happened. Something shifted inside. "Long Life Spikes" blinked for the last time, and when its eyes reopened, "Deadly Spikes" was born. With ruthless efficiency, it tore through the incoming wave with ease. After a few more rounds of chaos, it seemed the situation on the front lines had stabilized. For the first time since its awakening, it was able to cover the area with a pile of iron, 30 feet high! "I will stand my ground till the very end.” it vowed. “I will not let a single Bloon pass." Many, many more rounds passed. Every now and then the Bloons would return, and every time Deadly Spikes stood proud and victorious. No longer fighting mere Bloons, it now faced off against massive MOABs with pride. Despite its newfound strength, feelings of dread began to grow as the rounds progressed. Its defences became increasingly easy for the Bloons to break through. Deadly Spikes knew something was coming… something big, something B.A.D. It began preparing for the worst, modifying itself into the ultimate machine. Amidst the constant onslaught, a transformation occurred. With beautiful gleaming yellow paint and spikes sparkling with raw power, "Perma-Spike" was born. Empowered and fearless, all its past worries faded into a distant memory; this was its duty, and the Bloons were nothing but fodder against it now. It waited, bolstering its defences, and waited more. After an uncomfortably small number of rounds, it arrived: A monstrous abomination of purple rubber, something akin to an eldritch horror. Yet, despite the abomination slowly floating forward, Perma-Spike knew. Thinking back to the question it had asked itself as a lowly "Long Life Spikes," it finally understood: "This... this is the reason I was created. This is my purpose, and I will not back down." And that is exactly what it did. Despite the ruthless assault from the Big Airship of Doom, Perma-Spike stood strong, eliminating every layer. After popping the very last red Bloon from the now-deflated B.A.D., the entire world fell silent. Standing there, looking down at the fields of rubber, "Perma-Spike" looked towards the sky. xx5 Permaspike Unyielding. xx5 Permaspike Undefeated. xx5 Permaspike unchanged Engineer Oh yea we have one more tower balance change. As the Engineer paragon moves to a more supportive role, we are toning down the direct boss damage and attack speed but also lowering the upgrade cost. Main attack Boss Damage: 300 > 100 Main attack rate: 1.5s > 2s Upgrade cost reduced: 650k > 600k Hero Balance Captain Churchill For additional synergy potential, Churchill’s long list for damage bonuses will now include Stunned Bloons! Lv15 Now Canonically deals bonus damage to Stunned Bloons +4 Lv15 Machine Gun bonus damage to Stunned as well +2 Pat Fusty To smooth out Pat’s levelling progression, we’ve increased range earlier, added an extra mid-game damage step for Rallying Roar, increased his late-game pierce, and at Level 20 the Big Squeeze hug also hits the surrounding area with a powerful stun to provide leeway during Pat’s crush downtime. Lv1 tower range 24 > 27 Lv9 tower range 27 > 30 Lv16 tower range 29 > 30 Lv9 increases Rallying Roar damage buff 1 > 2 Lv15 Also increases base attack pierce 20 > 30 Lv18 pierce increase 30 > 40 Lv20 Big Squeeze also deals a stun AoE to the area when used 5s Adora Since Adora’s final form was hurt by recent Overclock changes, we’ve buffed her Lv20 Ball of Light damage and just fun further boosted her True Adora form. Adora 20 ball of light damage 15 > 20 Adora 20 ball of light fortified damage +15 > +20 True Adora Form damage boost 8 > 24 True Adora Form BoL damage boost 72 > 180 Powers Hype Monkey Boost monkey money cost 400 > 300 Hype Monkey Boost buff radius 30 > 45 Tech Bot Prime monkey money cost 100 > 150 xx3 Super Monkey Beacon permanent increase per use 10% > 25% xx3 Super Monkey Beacon damage max increase stacks 100x > 150x xx1 Banana Farmer Pro also reduces upgrade cost of T1-3 Farms by per stack by 2% Sword of Protection grants He-Man and She-Ra faster ability cooldown while active Bosses Diamondback Tail HP > 12.5% > 10% [Boss Rush] Diamondback Tail HP 125 > 150 [Boss Rush] Blastapopoulos starting cash $2000 > 2500 [Boss Rush] Lych starting cash $2000 > 2500 Lych Undead MOAB: Leak Damage 200 > 70 Lych Undead MOAB: Base speed 25 > 20 Lych Soul Tier 1: Health 1000 > 750 Lych Soul Tier 1: Speed 18 > 17 Lych Soul Tier 1: Lych Souls 3 > 2 Lych Soul Elite Tier 1: Health 1600 > 1400 Lych Soul Elite Tier 1: Speed 23 > 21 [Boss Rush] Lych Tombstone Starting Health: 100 > 50 [Boss Rush] Lych Undead Moab starting health: 50 > 40 [Boss Rush] Lych Undead BFB starting health: 100 > 90 [Boss Rush] Lych Undead ZOMG starting health: 150 > 130 [Boss Rush] Lych Soul Starting health: 150 > 140 Rogue Rogue Artifact: Charismatic Leader allows for additional recruitments at every campfire New Rogue Boosts: Sword of Protection, Hype Boost Monkey, Techbot Pro Map category thresholds have been tweaked by stage to push Expert maps further back Stage 2 Beginner 45% > 50% Stage 2 Expert 5% > 0% Stage 3 Beginner 25% > 30% Stage 3 Expert 15% > 10% Stage 4+ unchanged submitted by /u/rohan_spibo to r/btd6 [link] [comments]

Second time using cat eye gel and I’m in love!!! submitted by /u/Cutiesexylovely_ to r/Nails [link] [comments]

Retail brand: Naez. Item no BC1616. I've been wearing them for 3 days now and I love them!! submitted by /u/lexxi-Bun to r/PressonNail_Addict [link] [comments]

I recently started gel polish collection and I need more colourful cat eye gels. I'm trying to decide which set I should buy from Sweetie Nail Supply that has the most versatility. I don't want one that's too chunky/glittery. I was looking at the yoghurt nails bubble collection but I found that it had too many unnecessary pinks. I'm looking for one around $160 CAD max and I am open to getting one that's not from Sweetie Nail Supply. I just need one that has a silver, blue, purple, pink, gold, and green cat eye. I've been looking at the angel ring series from the brand From the Nail but I barely see any reviews on it. submitted by /u/SimilarTrick8299 to r/GelX_Nails [link] [comments]

I’m a nude, light pink and a red girly and I have not tried a different colour before. I got these done last week and I am OBSESSED. What do you think? submitted by /u/Educational_Trick639 to r/NailsIndia [link] [comments]

Hi beginner hard gel nail tech and I got my hands on some cat eye and had to try it out 😫 submitted by /u/Fancy-Solution6904 to r/Nails [link] [comments]

Hi! So I have successfully made the velvet nail effect in a decent pink cat eye polish. But they look a little... plain? Im making them for a concert where I will be wearing a pink ribbed knit shirt. I dont have another pink to make a ribbed/pinstripe sort of design but I pondered if I could create a faux rib knit effect by painting a matte coat first, then blocking off pinstripes of the matte and then painting a glossy top coat as the final layer. But Is that a dumb idea? Can you paint a glossy topcoat over a matte one and any exposed matte areas will be reglossified? I have builders gel but I've not used it before (and would need to buy a silicone brush) Could I make the design an actual rib texture using something as a template to keep it even? What could I use as the rib template...? submitted by /u/jubbagalaxy to r/NailArt [link] [comments]

Taking a break from extensions and did these (gel) on my natural nails! Finally learnt how to do the heart shape on magnetic polish with a lot of trial and error. Polish is Vishine Glass Cat Eye in nude pink. EDIT: for everyone asking how - https://youtu.be/O1CGQmYdA2Q?si=sZxV0buJ3cAf9dYo submitted by /u/kattdjur to r/Nails [link] [comments]

Cat eye pink with a glitter topper and a glitter top coat. If only the glowed in the dark, that would be perfection! submitted by /u/_Internet_Hugs_ to r/Nails [link] [comments]

masterpiece, best quality, amazing quality, high quality, very aesthetic, ultra realistic, absurdres, newest, 8K, depth of view, (adult female), 1girl, [CAMERA], [EXPRESSION], [ACTIOIN], black cat ears, black cat tail, dark red hair, ponytail, forehead, hair between eyes, blue eyes, glowing eyes, slit pupils, black eyeshadow, thick black eyelashes, black lips, black lipstick, black nail polish, [CLOTHES: black latex bdysuit, full body suit, bare hands, bare feet, cleavage, black whip in hand,...], [OPTIONS], basement, pink walls, bondage, dim light, inside submitted by /u/kayai_art to r/AiWholesome [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Neko_Nail to r/Nails [link] [comments]

I visited a nail salon for the first time. Wanted a magnetic cat eye in pink with hearts on naturals nails. The nails turned out sheer and I am disappointed. Are they meant to be like this? I even asked the tech to put on a base paint but he told me "It would change the colour". Am I overthinking this? Or does it look underwhelming? submitted by /u/chocoggukie to r/NailsIndia [link] [comments]

Comments on the other post got locked, but I just want to thank everyone for rallying behind me and encouraging me to ask for a refund. I went back first thing this morning to the salon and of COURSE the tech that did my nails was working right next to the front desk but I wasn’t letting that stop me this time. I asked the man if he was the manager/owner and he said yes. I said I got my nails done yesterday and am unhappy with them. He takes a look at them and goes “are they messed up? Is something wrong?” I was too stunned to speak and said yeah there’s glue everywhere! He said “yeah I’m gonna be honest that doesn’t look good. But we can fix you up real nice. We’ll get someone else to fix them.” I was like absolutely not I’m not getting my nails done again at this salon. I just want a refund. Brace yourselves. THEY DON’T DO REFUNDS. It’s their policy apparently. I said are you serious? He was like yeah I apologize that happened but we can fix it. I was like nooooooo I need a refund. I literally said “are you sure?” Because I’m about to put them on BLAST for real. Not refunding someone after giving them connect-the-dots, crazy glue, botched nails is INSANE to me. That really sent me over the edge. He refused again, stating policy, pointing to a sign on the wall. I mean, if that’s their policy that’s their policy. I’m not gonna argue further. But I’m def leaving a review and am contemplating sharing the name of the salon because I can’t let another unsuspecting person get done dirty and get their money stolen. Sadly, I used a debit card so I don’t think I can even dispute it but it’s not even about the money at this point. Oh and they didn’t offer to even take it off, not that I would have let them lol. The good news is I went to a different salon in a different city and they were genuinely so nice and understanding. I asked for something completely different since the pearls/glue traumatized me, so I got a pink cat eye and the tech did a great job. She looked at the first set and said “girl, these are BAD BAD.” In conclusion, I’m relieved to have wedding nails I can be proud of and at least I have a funny story to tell. And all of your comments on my last post brought me so much joy, I appreciate y’all. submitted by /u/Weissmuller6 to r/Nails [link] [comments]

I just noticed my cat's claw/nail was split when I was brushing her. She had a piece of fluff stuck in the split so I took it off and now I'm left with the split claw/nail. I cannot take her to the vet (no money for it). I think she might have got the split during a fight with one of my other cats but I'm not too sure about it. Sorry if the pictures are blurry or bad quality, she doesn't like people touching her paws to see her claws/nails (which makes it difficult to cut her claws/nails). Some info about the cat: She's a female black cat with yellow eyes and a pink tongue (beans are black too). She is 3 years old since March and I got her when she was about to be 2 years old (I celebrated 2 birthdays with her). She gets well with the other cats but sometimes gets nervous and spicy at them due to past trauma before I got her. Not sure what flair between general advice or injury, please tell me if wrong. submitted by /u/sad_DragonBirdie to r/CATHELP [link] [comments]

I decided to match my nails with my birthday outfit, which was pink and equally sparkly ✨ Really proud of my application here as well :) I used: • Venalisa's Nail Prep Dehydrator • Venalisa's Acid-Free Primer • Venalisa's Rubber Base in RV05 • Venalisa's Quick Construction Gel in QC05 • 2 coats of Born Pretty's Crystal Cat Magnetic Gel in MY274 Love Letter • Venalisa's No Wipe Tempered Top Coat I also have a small story to share (I’m hoping it formats itself decently), as completing this set made me reminisce on why I started doing my nails at home. Around this time last year I was still getting my nails done professionally. I used to love abstract designs and unique line work for my sets, but, some time around last January, I found myself desiring plain colors for my nails. Once I began to get these basic sets, I noticed that my nails always looked grown out and that my cuticles were constantly neglected and untouched. To be honest, I ~always~ noticed these things, even while getting more intricate work, but it wasn’t an issue for me as I was still happy with how my designs came out. In June of 2024, after a dissatisfactory birthday set (in where I got a shimmery pink color that was shoddily applied), I began to contemplate the value of paying so much for simple nails if I always found something wrong with the end result. I was also getting a LOT of DIY nail videos on my TikTok FYP 😅 By the end of the month, I decided that enough was enough and that I was going to learn how to do my own gel sets! I did tons of research and stumbled across this subreddit mid-July. I was very overwhelmed by the sheer breadth of information here, as well as the realization that I had to toss literally everything I was planning on buying and overhaul my products (💀). I finally started doing my nails in August of 2024, and here we are today :D I’m so grateful to this subreddit and all of the tips and tricks I’ve learned from everyone here. I’m upgrading nearly all of my products this summer and I could have not done it without the support from this corner of the internet 💘 submitted by /u/chloromelanite to r/DIYGelNails [link] [comments]

You can see more of the pink to green colour change in natural light! I’ll try and take a video and share! submitted by /u/sreddit000 to r/Nails [link] [comments]

Edit: I can't believe...I spent all weekend writing this... only for you guys... to react... the way I expected you to! How exciting!! pulls up soap box So alright y'all, now that you're all here, let me make a brief comment before I go to bed and I'll see you later if the mods allow it. I see red flag, I investigate, I report my findings. You can agree, disagree, or anything in between and I will not lose a wink of sleep. What I DO care about is some sweet little chimp has more resources to make their own decisions regarding the media they buy into during arguably the most important event in their life via a case study. If you think this is just about Andrew, you're missing the point but I still love you very much. Sound fair? Edit2: oops; sorry guys. Had to come back and ask y'all to try to keep your comments fairly respectful. At the end of the day, he's just a content creator. Like me. Like you. In this post I give him credit where credit is due and I don't hate him whatsoever, I talk about things that are trendy OUTSIDE of him, and I also make some suggestions on how he can remedy most of your concerns! Also if you think I'm losing sleep over a comment... have you ever...had a toddler? Anywho.Happy reading. This goes without saying, but y’all really need to do your own research and take everything you read, watch, or listen to with a grain of salt. I don’t care who the source is and how much you trust them. So, let me give you some friendly advice using my research to back me up: Stay away from AndrewMoMoney during the squeeze. Edit3: you ask for an alternative, here it is. Andrewmomoney has been trying to leave a comment, but can't because of karma. You can find a response copy pastes below. I'll be in contact later. Disclaimer: I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been working in the design and marketing field for many years. As such, there are often things I’ll talk about as if they’re common knowledge or I’ll explain them as if we were good ol’ friends sitting around the campfire. That said, I’ll do my best to provide every single resource. If I’m missing something critical for your understanding, just let me know and I’ll do my best to provide. Moving on. ​ https://www.noxinfluencer.com/youtube/channel/UC23emuGbNM7twofQIrEgPBQ Have you tried to start a youtube channel? Or a business? Yeah? Almost everyone I know has too. A majority of the people I know have gotten as far as making a cover photo, a banner, the about, and maybe ONE video. Then poof. It’s gone. They lose motivation. This tends to be the case for a lot of people and the easiest way to combat this is by having a plan. You sit down and figure out who you are and what you look like, what you do, who your audience is, why you’re better than everyone else, and how you’re going to deliver the goods. You’ll create some things like a business canvas, a marketing strategy (which will include your voice and tone), and a content calendar among many other things. Here are some quick reads before I dive deeper: ​ Creating a business plan Creating a business canvas Content calendar General tools Tone and Voice Got some knowledge under your belt? Great. Too busy eating crayons, great. I’ll explain in layman’s terms anyways. I like to check out some analytics and watch content periodically throughout the channel’s history so I have a better understanding of the initial strategy, how its evolved, as well as if there are any catalysts, etc, etc. Andrew’s channel was created April 7th, 2020 and formerly titled Data Leap. His bio: “As a 26-year-old cryptocurrency data scientist in Silicon Valley that built 9 streams of passive income in 2020, I want to help you find your own path to 6 figures in 6 months. Subscribe to keep up with weekly uploads, cool kids are all doing it. Let's leap together.” Since it’s important enough to be in his bio, I think it’s critical for me to understand what a data scientist is. I did some research, I liked these videos (Joma Tech and Ken Jee. Check out the description box of the latter for some key points), but I still found it to be unclear. However, I think it’s fair to say that there will be a lot of CODING on this channel. This is obvious in his earlier videos. I’ll give you a few examples. ​ https://preview.redd.it/3ai6k3t5dgv61.png?width=1094&format=png&auto=webp&s=666c9695a160e60744c33c886ad9e5a2fccd06ab Pretty on point with what we can deduce from the bio. His tone is pretty casual, yet sophisticated. He wants to entertain you while putting some wrinkles on that brain. I'd say I nailed this because Andrew says the same thing in a later video. Now I take a look at how often he posts. Here are the dates from his first couple months: June 22 June 26 June 29 July 7 July 13 July 16 July 22 Aug 3 Aug 8 Aug 10 Aug 14 Aug 17 Aug 24 Now, this might be my low blood sugar talking, but man, this tight production schedule is making me queasy. That’s a lot of videos in a short amount of time and you’ll notice they’re often just a few days apart. One of the most common questions someone will ask is what they can do to grow their channel. Usually you turn to them and ask how much they’re posting, what they're posting, and when. Rule of thumb, quality over quantity, but consistency is key. You put out one really awesome video every other 6 months, you get buried by the algorithm. You put out 20 videos of garbage and you get buried by the algorithm. Most end up putting out 1-2 videos a week, but that won’t guarantee a bunch of subscribers or a ton of views. Generally, you give them something of value and consistently provide that same value to incentivize them to come back to your channel. For example, I’d like a new kitchen table and the current trend is just my type, but I’m unwilling or unable to pay such a high price for someone to build it for me. I’m willing to learn how to DIY and can buy entry level tools to do the job myself. I turn to youtube and find a channel dedicated to simple DIY builds with minimal tools. They explain the process start to finish very well and my table turns out awesome. Turns out they have more videos! I decide to stick around and subscribe. Thousands of people out there end up subscribing for the same reason.. ​ https://preview.redd.it/2v41gaf2egv61.png?width=1148&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0f614c1423c947ea04e152ba82fe4fa9ab74ed5 ​ It’s not always like that though. You ever seen the video of the lady making nachos with her bare hands? What about the potato chip mashed potatoes? That person who thought they were a chicken nugget? Some things are so silly or stupid you HAVE to watch it and tell your friends or leave a comment letting everyone know how stupid they are. You may or may not subscribe, but you still hang around to see what other silly thing they’re up to. Some people become successful by being controversial. ​ https://preview.redd.it/k9895hr9egv61.png?width=576&format=png&auto=webp&s=d73baaaf2391894a3e2088b57f48bc3064da2637 And even then, it’s not always like that! What about the videos about stray puppies and kittens that find their forever home? Military coming home videos? Helping the homeless? Y’know, the things that pull at your heart strings? ​ https://preview.redd.it/i8c3bcpgegv61.png?width=986&format=png&auto=webp&s=d30dd5ee969b4c9e607ee2e395fcf7eba92e47bd See what I’m saying? Multiple ways to skin a cat. Just be consistent. Andrew uploaded fairly consistently and did the usual tips and tricks with thumbnail art, titles, etc (being click baity, but hey, I think everyone does that from time to time), but I noticed he still had very low viewership and engagement. Why is that? Ultimately, a combination of things. Check out his bio again, check out all the banners and video descriptions (I have to speculate just a LITTLE here and assume he didn’t change anything recently), what do you see mentioned everywhere? “Your guide to 6 figures in 6 months” https://preview.redd.it/re52l6hnegv61.png?width=950&format=png&auto=webp&s=7842232cdd95f185672ccafa3b7bc29e2b97d975 Rapid fire answer. Do you think his channel matches that sentiment? Here's mine: not really. I’ll give you an example of a channel I found from searching “6 figures in 6 months” : ​ https://preview.redd.it/ugflhivregv61.png?width=1202&format=png&auto=webp&s=2d44bdea196301e0e124735c70d3ddf4af46da9a Seems to mesh better with that idea, doesn’t it? One thing Andrew mentions in this video is that starting a business can help you make 6 figures, but doesn't provide resources for running that business on his channel. Sure, Andrew has more subscribers. I’ll give you that for now (come see me later though. We’ll talk). So then you start looking at the content and figuring out what it's actually about. Andrew starts making videos centered around Python. There’s a few random videos in there, but he sticks to the code in the beginning and I applaud him for not jumping with random videos when his channel didn’t pop off immediately (and that production schedule is just crazy). Some hit better than others--it’s fairly obvious when an influencer has found something that hit right because they’ll keep doing it. Then bang. The channel evolves and we start hitting the clickbait. ​ https://preview.redd.it/k4q34ff7ggv61.png?width=992&format=png&auto=webp&s=9aad68c5749f871c307416f355b2c693b6f0bcb0 3.9k views on this video. Pretty damn solid. Then you'll notice we start sliding back down to 100-500 views per video immediately after until we hit another (what I like to call) viral video and that’s where you’ll see a key difference between Andrew’s channel and Nate’s. Nate’s lowest viewership is 4k. Nate generally has more substantial comments on his videos. Do you see where I’m going with this? More subscribers isn’t always the best indication of success. Thanks Nate, you can go now. ​ https://preview.redd.it/ly4vl8bofgv61.png?width=1189&format=png&auto=webp&s=40c74ce394d2570b3e47da6524e1181855fac0c9 So it seems like Andrew’s channel is more so centered around how you could land a 6 figure job or increase your income to 6 figures… but likely not in 6 months and maybe not 6 figures. The content just isn’t there... there isn’t a clear set of reasonable directions for the audience regarding how they can do that in SIX months in his channel.. Consistently. Yes, emphasis on consistently. I’ll give you credit for some of these earlier "on-target" videos although I CANNOT confirm how filling they are in relation to the channel proposition: How to be a Millionaire by 30: Build one of THESE in 2021 My Very First Job Offer was $100K+ (and so can yours) How I Built 9 Income Sources at Age 25 (and you can too) $100K in Passive Income in 2021 - Making Six Figures on Autopilot ​ By the way, y’all ever heard of Dr. Quarters? ​ https://preview.redd.it/5pmtr2p8hgv61.jpg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97aa58581b681e022d0e9065ffe87c042fef8ddb I’ll keep it simple. This episode of King of The Hill is based on a real guy and a real trend that was more popular (or perhaps, just popular in a different form) when I was kid. These people sold the idea you could get rich quick with minimal effort (essentially click bait). Needless to say, it backfires and Kahn is stuck in a bad situation, still working at a job he hates. He got off pretty easy in the show. People in real life? Eh. I’m not calling Andrew a get-rich-quick scam artist. I think he has some interesting videos of value, but I do think his content is a little off kilter and he’s not delivering what he claims he can do for you. Normally, a channel will fall off the radar because of this.. But then, there was a catalyst: Gamestop. Remember how I mentioned you can see his videos hang out around relatively low views and once he creates something people like, he keeps doing it? This is a fairly common practice so don’t come with your pitchforks ready. Think about it like this: Miley Cyrus has pivoted multiple times throughout her career. Madonna. Gwen Stefani. Taylor Swift. Katy Perry. Kanye West. Pink. Y’all know 'Hot in here' by Nelly? What about his other hit 'Over and Over' with Tim McGraw? Nothing new here. This has been happening since before you were born. ​ never forgetti mom's spaghetti There are a few problems with this pivot though. Andrew was missing his proposition value to his viewers already and he’s further pivoting from it--this can affect how trustworthy and consistent he seems. I’d say this is relatively minor and easy to fix. This becomes a much larger problem when you examine how the content has evolved from the first GME post. I have a specific word I’d like to use, but I’m going to abstain. Let me just talk about the video and see if you see what I see. https://preview.redd.it/5op9u4l6jgv61.png?width=946&format=png&auto=webp&s=25ecb51fbc276664fee6f7a3cd9bad3bbfaafbba The first video was published February 1st, 2021. This is post January baby squeeze. It gives you a nice, simple explanation of the Reddit vs. Wall Street situation, and basic trading concepts. This is an entry level video. This is not for the folks already in the game. In my expert opinion, I’d describe this video as targeting the FOMO crowd who saw the news, said “fuck, I want in” and searched for a video from a trusted source (and the use of his job title in the video is very intentional. His channel name has changed by now too) who could explain in 10 minutes or less. Good results. Can he do it again? ​ https://preview.redd.it/4fecb7nfjgv61.png?width=958&format=png&auto=webp&s=5cf9ab03d65312c4f4d2cb566b7afe01e05c25c9 Yes. He goes deeper into his explanation of the situation and the market as a whole and drops more resources for beginners like links to trading apps like Webull or Robinhood. Yes, Robinhood. Even after it had been put out there they had halted trading. He removes this in later videos but it can still be found in the description and pinned comments of older videos. Do you think he isn't getting something from that? ​ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8AJNOYKkqc ​ https://preview.redd.it/0cptbbozsgv61.png?width=887&format=png&auto=webp&s=770a20bc41a180446ff4ca024c143ecbd7506753 Within a week or so of posting, he hits 5k subscribers. By March, he hits 20k. By April, 70k. That’s some aggressive growth. Of the 100+ videos that have come out since the OG video, I’ve counted ONE that caters to his original audience. That’s fine, people are allowed to change, but you have to update your brand. He hasn’t though. Nothing besides *looks at notecard* editing his original video descriptions and pinned comments to include affiliate links to anything pertaining to GME, language such “tendies”, “apes”, “moon”, “moon platoon”, and “space upgrades”. Even his first video that came out a year ago. So pretty much everything to make money. (And I have to throw in another disclaimer, I don’t know Andrew personally and he seems like a pretty cool dude. This isn’t an attack on him for playing the marketing game. This post is just for you guys to remember there are good shills and bad shills and everything in between. The human brain is more fragile than you think and very susceptible to manipulation especially when emotions are running high. I remember when I started investing I listened to every account out there instead of doing my research. Within 5 minutes I bought a stock, read something, sold that stock, and bought another like a true crayon muncher.) The videos become more click baity as time goes on. Remember that one video I mentioned in the last paragraph? You’ll notice a significant dip in viewership. When I talk to my friends about being an influencer, I tell them that while it might seem like a great idea to hop on a hype train to collect some followers, it winds up being very difficult to keep those followers. Why? Because they followed you for x, not y and you can see that here. Increase in views. Increase in engagement. Increase in subscribers. Nice. Back to business. Uh oh. Didn’t do so well. Back to Gamestop. ​ https://preview.redd.it/aj5hjntltgv61.png?width=1120&format=png&auto=webp&s=fd646e4fceb2d3a3747a57f17e725ab30315d7aa So now you’re stuck in a cycle of HAVING to keep making videos about this topic if you want to maintain. That’s how we wind up with videos like “Should I sell Gamestop?” (multiple times), thumbnails with words like “crash”, “you lose”, or “game over”. Again, I stress that the target was the FOMO crowd, the baby chimps. They don’t know any better. They need someone who doesn’t hurt their brain, keeps it short, and funny. Do you see how all the above is dangerous for them as we move forward? Put it this way. Using a recent video at 68k views (and every single one of them is a new viewer). If all of those people are holding 100 shares that’s 6,800,000 shares total. Imagine he uploads a video mid squeeze with a title of “$GME PEAKS AT $5,000??” with a thumbnail with something like “highest it can go?” or “game over?” Everyone is emotional, they’ve never seen this much money before. They freak the hell out. They don’t want to lose that money. They paperhand at $5k. $GME briefly dips before skyrocketing to $20k. Dangerous for stockholders. Dangerous for him and the future of his channel. Let’s go back to trust. He’s not currently fulfilling his value proposition. He creates click bait videos. Doesn’t give credit to the folks who provide him video content (links to atobitt's biz, but not the artist of this or Pixel's Endgame DD). Half-rebranding to make it seem like he’s a fellow ape... ​ https://preview.redd.it/ed7d604xtgv61.png?width=1440&format=png&auto=webp&s=25fee894f682a7b8565a49536cb90b5f78f8585c Honestly, he might be an ape.. The problem is he doesn’t come across genuine because of the above--what are you willing to compromise for views and $$? Quite a few people have made comments mentioning he doesn’t appear genuine. Some people have jumped to his defense that he’s accepted feedback and is changing some things because of it (no idea what though, but then again I don't watch his channel regularly... then again... I'm a pretty good guesser) which brings me to my next point. He’s not changing. The clickbait is still there. I mean, how long have we known options were a no no? Recent video with a title that suggests options are some secret ticket to tendies (because options traders know something we don’t?). He is still missing his value proposition. He is not giving written credit to folks providing him with information. ​ https://preview.redd.it/4a1hno7augv61.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=16117ccbe99d565bfaf35668d757850aef2eb8d9 I also found out he used my DD in a video, which was pretty cool. I didn’t know a lot about him besides watching people bicker about him on the sub, but I never personally watched. Decided to check it out. ​ that me Honestly, I was so disappointed. Not only in him, but shill dog as well. What I emphasize to EVERYONE is that we better be about our shit. You know you’re doing an interview? Brush up on your public speaking skills. You are making history and you never know when the camera is rolling. If you ho-hum, seem unsure, or lie, the audience will know. The media will eat you alive and you destroy the credibility of the sub. You never know what opportunities will come from this either. Be like DFV. No excuses. My inbox is always open if you need help preparing for these things. Anyways. It bothers me how big of a joke this came off. It bothers me how suspicious I was of Shill dog because of how they handled the interview--what a massive platform to be on and...woof. It bothered me when I read a comment that said NEITHER of the people talking in this video seemed genuine. My name is attached to this. That’s my research. My integrity is everything so I felt a need to reach out to Andrew. Maybe I could come on and discuss in a way that would make people feel more at ease. I messaged on twitter, radio silence. I expected that though, no big deal. Next step, bring out my old youtube channel. Check privacy settings. I leave a comment and go to bed. I wake up the next day expecting a comment or a like based upon how recently he interacted with other commenters. My comment is gone. I wondered if I just hadn’t actually submitted it, but I was so sure I had. Immediately became sus, but I don’t make claims without proof. I painstakingly type up the same comment. Gone within 10 minutes. ​ go see if it's there I log onto another channel. I leave a comment praising him. Still up to this moment. I won't screenshot that one. Just take a guess. That tells me everything I need to know. Bonus: I found the reveal of his offer to shill odd. Many people were skeptical as well, asking why he blurred the information out the way he did, why talk so briefly about it, why not put the company out there, etc. So I’m gonna pull a Warden on you guys: It’s either fake, it’s real and he didn’t take an offer, or it’s real and he took an offer. It was a live video. Often you don’t have yourself as put together as a scripted video you can reshoot and watch and edit and tweak and so on, but I want you to notice he never said he wouldn’t take an offer. There was just a funky transition that he would have shill dog in the live stream to keep him straight. If I'm just being a skeptic and he gets upset by this because it's not true, that's on him for allowing his viewers to doubt how honest of a content creator he is. TLDR: A majority of you will say you don't care about Andrew and never have and this is all stuff you already figured out, but there are some apes out there who still view him as their first source of information and you are only as strong as your weakest link. Through a brief analysis, I've shown the foundation or lack thereof behind this channel and how AndrewMoMoney's channel is positioned for maximizing earnings through sensationalism. Sensationalism is a cheap way to grow your channel, but you will lose it all unless you adjust your marketing strategy and value proposition. This type of channel is potentially damaging for the squeeze. I strongly urge you to consider what media you will surround yourself with when this lifts off. While I have you here Andrew, might I make some suggestions? I don't like plain criticism. We do constructive feedback around here: Interview the people who write the DD you discuss. All of them. Not just the "celebrities". Use these interviews to supplement what you don't know instead of reading straight DD. Make a video for your OG subscribers on how they can use GME as a catalyst for their careers--even if that's just having the extra tendies to go back to school or coast while they figure out their life. Make a video that helps apes manage their tendies--like "how to find a CPA", "how to pick a lawyer". You don't even need to pitch it as original. Give credit to the person who posted first, say it's a video adaptation, boom. Stop deleting negative comments and use them to your advantage. Cut back on the click bait titles. You can optimize your title for the algorithm AND give your viewers a clear understanding of what the video is about. Write what the video is about in the description. Get back to engaging with your subscribers like you did in the beginning. Think about the social and economic repercussions of the content you're publishing. Wait don't take these, they're actually pretty good I might use them Please excuse typos or grammar as my eyes are burning submitted by /u/itsdaynotdave to r/Superstonk [link] [comments]

Just for a fun exploration as well as to create a safe space for acceptance, I would like to enumerate all of the trivial and absurd things people have said men cannot do because it wasn't "manly" or "masculine" in an attempt to expose and reverse the damaging statements. Let's free ourselves of this stupidity together. Share any you have experienced and I will add it to the list below! As people have repeated answers, I've put the tally of the total responses. Crying x9 Fruity alcoholic drinks x8 (esp in martini cocktail glass) Not liking sports x6 Wearing nail polish x5 Being vegetarian/vegan x6 Sitting down to pee x5 Sitting with your legs crossed x5 liking cats X5 Being a feminist x4 Cooking x 4 Having long hair X5 Washing your hands after you pee x3 Having plants x3 Drinking alcohol other than beer x3 -ironically beer was invented and sold by women first Expressing your emotions x3 using lotion x3 Liking wine x3 Not liking alcohol(being sober) x3 Wanting a relationship x4 Dancing x2 Having epilepsy x2 Baking x3 Being bisexual x3 Enjoying cartoons with female characters X2 Doing cardio x2 Liking flowers x2 Wearing pink x2 Fancy chocolate x2 Not being excited about hunting/fishing x2 Calling out other men when they catcall women x2 Not wanting to participate in violence x2 Liking board games x2 Listening to pop music x2 Being indecisive x2 Not being competitive x2 Being a passenger in a car with SO x2 Skincare/haircare x2 Doing theatre or acting in general x2 liking romance novels/movies/anime x2 hugging male friends x2 not wanting sex all the time x3 being autistic x2 Being close friends with women x4 Wearing floral prints x2 Having a female role modelx2 Wearing colors that are not blue, grey or black, Pastel colours Wearing jewelry Wearing makeup Wearing heels Wearing certain types of fabric Holding your children's hands Skipping Smiling at people Drinking Frappucinos at Starbucks Eating a salad Having accessories in colors other than blue, grey or black Enjoying cudling Doing nice things for people you love Cuddling children Calling things cute Being referred to as pretty or cute Being flexible Singing Poetry Painting Being excited about things Talking a lot Interior decorating Having close male friends Reading books with female characters Liking romance Knitting/Crocheting Gardening Liking butterflies Not working myself to death Being emotionally supportive of friends and loved ones Telling non-sexual non-partners (especially male) that I love them Having nostalgic childhood toys like stuffed toys on display Caring about social justice Bulky sweaters Decorating your house Indoor voice Being afraid Cleaning Knowing how to treat stains Neat handwriting Chewing on things Caring about social justice Wearing fitted clothing. Not reacting when someone insults you. Trying to understand someone else's point of view when they wrong you. Rejecting the fact that I am feminine just because I'm a heterosexual man Being sick Expressing discomfort Liking drama Reading Shojo manga Not being excited about cars Not being excited about guns Not being comfortable getting naked around other men Liking sunsets Photography Crop tops Skirts putting relationships/mental health/family above career or profession. Defending women, or even just not participating in, from sexist nonsense like catcalls or disgusting "locker room talk" Certain beverages or food items also are stupidly "not manly" usually tend to be things that are sweet, as though men can't have a sweet tooth from time to time. Being vegetarian/just not eating meat all the time Not working out every day Playing sports other than physical contact ones Letting a s/o make most of the decisions in a relationship Not having facial hair Not having body hair in general Not wanting to drink underage Shopping eco-friendly Having a clean apartment Using hand gestures “Letting” women pay on dates Using hair conditioner Manicures Pedicures Brushing long hair Sewing Making/giving cute gifts to people you care about Liking Miniature painting Liking Wargaming wearing pearls according to my father-in-law, calling something “an outfit.” Being quiet or just calm Taking care of your appearance or what you eat Stopping drinking alcohol before being completely drunk (was also told eating something before going for drinks was not manly) Caring about the environment Drinking herbal tea Asking for help seeing a psychologist Liking your hair being played with Enjoying gentle physical touch Moaning during sex Enjoying someone kissing your body Being nice to people in the service industry Having sexual relations with other men Complementing women in a way that’s is not sexual such as on their style/shoes/nails etc Using an umbrella Majoring/working in the arts, social science, or humanities Painting walls colors that are not blue, black, gray, or neutrals Volleyball Piercings caring about storylines more than action not liking sports for the purposes of competition Treating women with respect Using hair dye/neon hair dye Driving a convertible being overtly interested in style and fashion. wearing earrings wearing skinny jeans liking cute fluffy animals having stuffed animals collecting toys sometimes liking metal music being depressed having piercings having problems never having dated, had sex, been married, or been in a relationship having sexual issues being submissive in any way Having a female boss or supervisor Listening to women Not liking bacon Eating sausage Doing cardio playing basketball using chapstick driving a small car drinking smoothies Changing diapers Washing baby Doing laundry Cooking for a baby Wearing a baby Pushing a pram Voluntarily taking your baby for a walk because YOU want to spend quality time Being a good dad in general Not wanting to be naked in front of other men Liking privacy when you pee Being dainty Pooping in a public restroom Helping my mother by bringing a particularly heavy serving dish in the dining room Not helping for outdoor tasks because of a fractured vertebra Suggesting to share outdoor tasks with my sisters (we already share indoor tasks with them) Not liking getting my ass groped Drinking Sangria coughing when you smoke Reading books with female main characters Writing a college literature paper with a feminist analysis of a children's book Listening to soft classical music Liking poodles over most other dog breeds Being madly in love with someone Going to the doctor Wearing loafers Not liking beer or most brown liquors (whiskey, bourbon, etc.) Crossing your legs at the knee/thigh Wearing briefs/boxer briefs (as opposed to boxers) Any and all skin care or self-care in general Wearing shorts above the knee Being a good SO/partner in general (more specifically in hetero relationships) Being born in the spring or summer Wanting to watch romantic comedies or the "chick flick" Saying no to a woman's advances Thinking that female comedians are funny Doing the dishes Vacuuming Never having been in a physical fight in my adult life presenting your nails with hand extended Being disabled Not liking spicy food Hanging out with girls Having girls as friends or best friends Enjoying small talk Laughing Being modest Being uncomfortable with your body (especially showing it) Not liking physical contact with other men / rough contact Falling asleep around other people Being silly/playful Being sexually submissive Being vocal during sex drinking from a straw Doing squats Liking musicals Using a popsocket on your phone Having my drawstrings hang outside of my pants referring to your chest as "boobs. Having a cute small feminine looking dog Talking about real feelings and depression with friends Skincare beyond simply washing your face (moisturizer, cover-up, etc) mending clothes/replacing buttons not being in the mood for sex shaving/waxing body hair like legs/armpits Liking My Little Pony meditation using bodycare was that isn't in the men's section not being religious enjoying pieces of work by women jazz unisex shirts Using an (artistic) picture of a woman as my profile pic on social media. Playing as a woman whenever I have the option in a videogame. My lips naturally being of a bright red color. Liking men Playing certain wind instruments, especially the flute and piccolo Tying your shirt around your waist - (this was in fashion around when I was in 7th grade, but by 8th grade, the "guys" had started making fun of kids who still did it) Being anything other than heterosexual Carrying a handbag or fanny pack Wearing underwear outside the "norm" (boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, jockey shorts) Following safety rules in general (safety glasses, ear protection, wearing seatbelt, asking for help when lifting something heavy, wearing a helmet or protective clothing on a motorcycle, driving the speed limit, etc). Getting first aid/medical treatment wearing a scarf enjoying anal stimulation shaving your armpits not liking war themed movies / not liking violent video games playing with dolls vacuuming taking care of your kid, especially for banal things like changing a diaper, taking them to an appointment or to the park to play watching what you eat not knowing how to drive stick Laughing at women's jokes Acting Going to college Majoring in a social science being "willing" to date trans women Sleeping with a blanket Getting food poisoning Getting a cast put on my broken wrist Not using chewing tobacco Driving a car (instead of a pick-up truck) Driving a van (instead of a pick-up truck) Driving a small pick-up truck Supporting and agreeing with the general claims and causes of feminism. Not being interested in joining the military or the police. Having a high-pitched voice. Practicing ballet dancing. Not knowing how to drive/not being a very skillful driver. Going to therapy Scented candles eating vegetables watching Queer Eye liking female artists, watching cartoons caring about how my hair looks. having dinner with another man at a restaurant Not being attracted to someone conventionally attractive Smoking weed Cat-walking! social anxiety (timidness) bad posture singing in falsetto when the bills are under your wife’s name Having a vasectomy Doing gymnastics wearing rainboots listening to music made by women reading books written by women (https://www.wattpad.com/918915702-the-princess-without-hair-chapter-1-splitting-more) having a small dog being liberal/leftist disliking porn calling out misogyny calling out racism using they/them pronouns correctly knowing your own pronouns knowing female anatomy not making your wife take your surname I once saw a guy tell his girlfriend he doesn't do "that gay kissing shit" Wearing a headband to keep my hair out of my face Having a lunch box that was purple Telling another guy his haircut looks good Watching TV at night instead of fixing things in my garage (even though I don't have a garage 🤷) Enjoying superhero movies Having my septum pierced Enjoying floral scents having a speech impediment Being sweet and considerate toward others. Not being comfortable undressing at the gym. Despising catcalling. ordering a chai latte. Tying your shoelaces Rowing a boat Watching Ru Pauls Drag race. Singing and loving Highschool Musical! stating that another man is attractive apologizing for running/bumping into someone playing with your hair having long hair without viking beard being compassionate opening up about problems accepting help Drinking cocktails or milkshakes having your right ear pierced Rollerskating Suntanning Sending sweet texts to your friends just because you thought about them Calling your extended group friends to check in and catch up every 90days-ish Keeping a diary or journal being content with your station in life (not being ambitious or doing every little thing possible for more $$$$ or salary) Not making everything monetary or transactional. Doing stuff for people for free and being friendly. Playing female characters in videogames Caring about your skin and hair Plucking eyebrows Shaving/trimming/waxing body hair Being into fashion Having a 'gay voice' Being short Having small hands carrying a plastic takeout bag by the handles, instead of holding the container wrapped in the plastic bag. Having matching furniture Not owning a car Working in a caring profession (nursing, social work, childcare, elder care, etc) Not liking bars or nightclubs Preferring non-competitive exercise (solo bike ride or weights at home) Doing lateral dumbell raises in the gym Doesn’t laugh at sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes. Drive with backrest in an upright position Being called cute by a girl interested in you putting cash in my wallet the wrong way carrying my gym bag while only using one strap Making sweets (chocolate candy) Not being into football(soccer). Being down/sad/depressed. Playing "childish" games with my kids (i.e. tea party / dolls with my daughter) Drinking soy milk Liking anal play Using apple products Having been sexually assaulted talking about uncomfortable/unwanted touching and flirting from either gender Riding a Harley Sportsters riding a scooter Complaining superhero movies wanting to wear deodorant that smells like sugar cookies Wearing Shorts Not wearing blue jeans and instead wearing khakis or sweatpants Not drinking Leaving food on your plate Stretching before a workout Eating a salad for lunch Taking your car to the mechanic Having a headache Driving a car (as opposed to a truck) Drinking tea (both hot and iced) Stopping to look at a butterfly Wearing a backpack Wearing non-white socks Listening to any music performed by a woman Sweating Any exercise other than weights being skinny, using an umbrella to block out the sun. Using a lot of emojis or for some men, emojis at all. Being put together and organized Playing as a female character. Going to AA Not finishing my coffee apparently asking a friend which shoes/shirt/pants/accessory goes best with your outfit. Having a cyan water bottle cross-stitch Giving a reach-around Eating bologna Knowing what a cowl neck sweater Making jewelry walk in a quiet, discreet way Talking to other humans openly. liking art being interested in fashion enjoying conversation Wanting kids, being an active parent, being compassionate with your children. Eating yogurt being kind and accepting of everyone Depression and anxiety taking care of health (skin, hair, nails, using moisturizer) plucking eyebrows being clean-shaven and not having any facial hair having very little body hair Not knowing everything about your car or cars in general. Taking medication for medical problems Having a period as a transman Having a lanyard for your keys Going down on a woman I ran out of characters and can't update it anymore!!!! ​ submitted by /u/Ancient-Abs to r/MensLib [link] [comments]

Addiction took our mother slowly, rocked her through it and sung her to sleep sunk deep into the mattress on her bed. When her back teeth fell out she left them on the side of the bathtub. I was seven, and I kept them in a match box, the missing pieces of her kept safe, so she wouldn't be lost forever. So maybe one day we could put her back together. Our house fell down around us, and we tried our best to raise ourselves. The ceilings had water damage and the bottom stairs had dry rot and in the winters the radiators would bleed rust. But it was still our house, and Annie made it a home. My sister Annie mothered me, with lopsided bandaids on bruised knees and lukewarm microwave meals. She told me ghost stories and didn’t mind when I crawled into her bed later on, too scared to sleep alone. She taught me to dance, barefoot on the living room carpet, music channel on full volume on the TV shaking our hips before they were fully grown. She always let me shower first so the water was hot, never complaining when she had to make do with cold. She brushed my hair everyday before school, even when I screamed and hit her when she caught the tangles. Annie was dark haired like her father, whoever he had been, but I was blonde. Annie was desperate to be blonde too, like Marilyn Monroe. Like mom. I think she thought it would make them closer, remind mom less of her dad. I’d give anything for her to have her hands in my hair one more time, even if it hurt. She moved to New York when I turned eighteen and never came back. I still dream about her sometimes. Keeping up with our mother was impossible and we learnt from a young age we would always be left behind. It didn’t make it any easier. When she was drinking light, she shone, would wake us up at 3am with pancakes, dripping in cherry syrup. Sometimes when the weather was right and she’d had enough being drunk alone, she would call our school up and tell them we had both come down with summer sickness and we’d drive to the beach instead. I remember being nine years old in the backseat of the car coming home after one of our ocean days, sucking the salt from my fingers. Annie had just dyed her hair blonde, her best friend Jane helping her bend over our kitchen sink. From behind, I couldn’t tell who was mother and who was daughter, radio up and windows down blowing the sky inside. When she was drinking heavy, she’d be out all night, hair piled up like a beauty queen, eyes glazed over and ringed with glitter and black. Sometimes she’d be gone a day or two. She would never tell us when, one day we’d just wake up to an empty house and the fridge packed full, post it note on the front with a smear of moms lipstick in the outline of a kiss, telling us she’d be back soon. Sometimes she’d bring guys home, filling the table with beer cans and ash trays, smoke up to the ceiling, mom lost in the haze. We’d sleep with pillows over our heads, trying to drown out the music they would blast until the am, and wake up to strangers at our kitchen table in the morning, asking us where we kept the coffee. When mom drank too little she fell apart. She wouldn’t buy food, refrigerator a gaping hole in the wall. She’d chain smoke, leaving cigarette burns on the wallpaper up by the stairs like the walls were sick and decaying. She barely slept, walking around with blue half moons under her eyes, knuckles raw. She would scream at the slightest thing. I remember once when I spilled a glass of juice on the couch. She looked over at me with dead eyes and dragged me off onto the carpet and then took every single cushion off the couch and into the back yard and set them on fire. Annie went to watch a while from the window and then sat next to me on the floor, backs pressed against the skeleton of the seats, head resting in the crater of my collar bones. When mom drank too much was the worst. She’d laugh too loud and too long at anything and everything, until her mouth started to shake and she started crying, at the breakfast table into her cereal. Annie shut down when mom was like this, went somewhere deep inside herself where nobody could hurt her. She’d stay up until the morning watching old black and white movies on TV, whispering the lines she knew by heart like prayers. When I was five I’d cry when I’d find mom passed out cold on her bed, sure she would never wake up. Annie would wipe my tears, tell me she was only sleeping just like the princesses in my story book. We’d sit on moms bed together and wait for her to wake up. When we were older, I was the one who would pick mom up off the bathroom floor again and again and Annie would put her to bed, smoothing her hair off her face and the vomit from her mouth, changing her clothes if she’d pissed herself. Watching them then, there was no doubt that Annie was the mother now. It was October and I was thirteen, Annie sixteen. It was a Wednesday night and mom had been gone for two days. She’d called us that morning from a pay phone, voice slurring down the line, telling us she was having the best time with all her new friends, hoped we were doing fine. When she asked me if I was having a good birthday I hung up on her. My birthday had been the day before. Annie had given me a pile of presents, strawberry lipglosses and glittery nail polishes. I didn’t ask where she’d got the money for them. I didn’t care. We’d taken the bus to the beach with Jane, eaten the birthday cake she had made for me, sand getting into the frosting. It tasted like sweetness and the sea, and I savoured every bite and scrape of sugar against my teeth. We watched the sun go down, Annie snapping grainy photos on her shitty Nokia as I blew out my candles, wishing over and over that mom wouldn't come home, that she’d just stay gone this time. But that Wednesday night, me and Annie weren't speaking. Anger hung heavy between us, seeping through the floorboards. It began when she tripped at the bottom of the stairs. We’d both laughed, Annie throwing her head back, gap between her front teeth catching the light. When I’d bent to pick her up, I’d caught her breath, warm against the freckles on my cheeks. I let go of her arms and she fell again, hitting the floor and grinning, shaking her hair from her face. Her breath was heavy with whiskey. I couldn't start picking her up too, couldn't watch her fall again and again. Just like mom, I knew she’d never get back up. I’d stared down at her, blonde hair fallen into her eyes and all I could see was our mother, and then I was running, feet slamming the hallway like heartbeats turned loose. I’d run for the kitchen and tipped every bottle we had down the sink, shoving Annie back as she fought to stop me, catching liquor on her fingers as it fell. She grabbed my shoulders and made me drop the very last bottle. It smashed between us on the floor, glass shards shining like we’d dragged the stars out of the sky and broken them, pieces we could never put back. Outside through the open windows, the sky turned pale gold, clouds a mess of pink and cream smeared across the horizon. I cried then, watching Annie on her knees picking up the pieces. That was Annie, always trying to fix things even when it was too late. The smell of food dragged me from my room, stomach turning traitor inside my ribcage. Annie was cooking pasta, real food not made in a microwave. She’d set the table, Tammy Wynette singing softly from the CD player, Annie gently swaying her hips as she stirred the tomato sauce, rich and warm. As we ate in silence, with every bite I forgave her. Mom never cooked dinner, or remembered my favourite was spaghetti ever since I was a kid, or stayed sober long enough to sit up at a table. Annie wasn’t mom. We were washing the dishes when we first heard it. A moth was crawling down the inside of the pane and I cracked the window to let it out into the dark. From the backyard came a faint sound. I tilted my head to listen as it was coming from far off. Crying. I figured it was Mika the two year old next door having a tantrum loud enough for us to catch, or maybe even Lucky Strike the cat that junkies down the street, begging for food like he sometimes did. I always wanted to feed him when he came around, winding over my ankles, but Annie always stopped me, saying once you started giving they never stopped taking. Looking back, I don’t think she was talking about the cat. Annie flipped the christmas lights strung up around the porch and we sat on the plastic beach chairs watching the skies. When we were little, we’d sit outside and Annie would tell me the names of all the constellations and the stories of how they came to be hung up in the night sky. I had to grow up before I realised she made them all up as she went along. It was a game we still liked to play now, making up ridiculous stories for the shapes we could pick out. “Ah, yes, that one there is the Coors Light. It got there when God dropped it out of his convertible window and never picked it up,” she said, nodding sagely and hiding her smile. “Of course,” I said, waving my hands and pointing up past the power lines. “Right next to The Ashtray, left there by angels on a smoke break.” “Yeah, they say if you wish on it, all your dreams will come true,” said Annie grinning. She stopped laughing, voice quieter, face tilted up to all those dead stars. “Let’s wish Emmy. Let’s wish” So we did. The sound of crying interrupted us. It was closer this time, and definitely human. We turned to each other, confused. Annie shrugged and I squinted out into the black. It sounded like a baby, lost and tired and alone. “It must be Mika?” I said, slowly getting to my feet. “Maybe he walked around the back? Shit, do you want to call Connie and tell her we’ll bring him over.” Annie didn't reply, and I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Guess I’ll do everything then.” I stepped off the porch, grass soft against my heels. The air smelled like it might rain, fresh and clean and growing. A promise unfulfilled. “Em.” Annie’s voice was strained. I turned to her, smiling. It died on my face when I saw the look on her own. “Em get inside now.” She was staring out into the dark, past me, opening the door with one hand behind her, fingers fumbling on the catch. I froze, bare foot in the dirt. I’d found what she was looking at. In the bushes by the back fence was a person, crouched with their knees tucked up neat under the chin, arms wrapped around legs. Their mouth hung wide, softly opening and closing as he cried. Like a child, lost in the dark. Not like a child, but a someone pretending. Mimicking the sound, open and closed out in the blackness. Suddenly they straightened, snapping upright face still hidden by the black. They were tall and thin, too thin to be a normal person. Panic made me move, animal instincts leftover from the days we lived up in the trees carrying me forward. I was faster than Annie, dragging her inside and slamming the door behind us, hearing it bounce on its hinges as I locked it. We watched as the person slowly walked towards the house, steps deliberate and long. Annie reached for my hand, holding me tight and turned me to face her, holding my shoulders. “Don’t turn around Emmy. Don’t turn around.” Instinctively I started to look over my shoulder out into the darkness. Annie grabbed my face, hard, and shook her head. I knew then she was serious. “I’m…” her voice cracked, and she cleared her throat, gripping my hand tight enough to hurt, nails digging in, grounding herself. I looked down at our fingers interlocked, both of us grown from the same bones. “I’m gonna call the cops and everything is going to be…” her voice faltered, stuttering. Tears spilled over her lashes, dripping like the promise of rain. Annie never cried. “Your phone’s on the porch,” she whispered, and bile crawled its way up my throat. Her phone was upstairs, charging. A soft, tap-tap-tapping filled the silence. Annie turned to the window, eye whites showing her eyes were so wide. It was the sound of someone’s forehead against the glass, slowly, over and over. They started to speed up, faster and harder, skin meeting glass until they was slamming into the window hard enough to shake the panes. The tapping stopped and I was about to ask Annie if I could look now when she screamed, followed by the sound of cracking glass and the loudest slam yet. Whoever was in our yard had just smashed their face hard enough into the window to break it. We ran upstairs, two at a time, skipping the ones caved in with dry rot on instinct. I turned behind me once and Annie yanked my face back before I could see. The sound of broken glass echoed behind us as we made it to the bathroom, locking the door. A thin, wailing cry, like a baby calling for its mother filled the hallway, trapped between the walls and locked doors. Annie threw her back against the door, feet jammed up against the bathtub, clutching the knife she had grabbed from the kitchen. I did the same, shoulder to shoulder. Slow footsteps started on the stairs, deliberate and casual. The crying had become mocking, almost laughter, shrill bursts of sound and then giggles, high pitched and abruptly stopping before starting again. The first door on the upstairs floor was my bedroom and we heard the distinct sound of it slamming open. They were looking for us. “What the fuck is going on,” I asked Annie, not even bothering to brush away the tears that I couldn't stop falling. I watched my sister pick herself up off the floor, and brace her hands on the door as we heard the sound of a second door slamming open. Mom’s room. The next room on the hallway was the bathroom. Annie pulled me to my feet and handed me the knife. I shook my head and pushed it back to her, terrified of what would happen if I had to use it. Annie shoved me and pressed the knife into my hands, thumb pressing hard enough on the blade to bleed. I watched my sisters blood drip down her wrist, a winding red road, still pushing into my hands despite the pain. I took the knife. Something slammed against the wall that mom’s room shared with the bathroom. A high pitched wail followed. I held my breath, could feel my heart beat in the base of my throat, a wild and frantic thing. “I’m gonna get the phone from my room.” I shook my head violently about to argue. Annie clamped a hand over my mouth. I could taste the blood on her hand, salty and sweet. Like birthday cake by the ocean. “Yes. I’m gonna get the phone and I’m gonna call the cops and we’re going to be okay.” I shook my head again. “It’s the only way. When I go I need you to lock the door and you don’t open it for anything or anyone. Not for me not for… anyone. Promise me.” I shook my head and Annie pressed her hand into my mouth, crushing my teeth against my lips so it made my eyes water. “Yes. Promise me Em.” Something smashed in the room next door. Annie brushed the hair off my face, gently tucking it behind my ear. Promise she mouthed and unlocked the door as slowly as possible, bolt scraping gently. I watched the curve of her shoulder disappear into the black hall outside, like the moon in eclipse. And then she was gone. I couldn't move or breathe for a second and then I slammed the bolt shut just as something bounced off the outside of the door. A high pitched scream followed, handle rattling up and down hard enough to pop one of the screws. I watched it roll towards me on the tiles. And then silence. I sat with my back to the door, holding the knife and wishing I was holding Annie’s hand instead. Still silence. Nothing but me and my lungs slowly filling the room with my breath. “Em?” Came a voice through the door. I started, hands gripping the knife. “Honey what’s going on?” “Mom?” my voice cracked. “Momma is that you?” I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking, trying to keep myself still. “Sweetie it’s okay just open the door. It’s okay just let me in.” The handle rattled again, gentler. “Just let me in, it’s all okay.” She banged on the door and I took my handle of the bolt. “Honey I’m sorry. I’m sorry I missed your birthday. I’m sorry I’m such a terrible mother. Please,” her voice broke and she started to cry, “just let me in baby I’m so sorry.” I screwed my eyes shut. She sounded so sad and so lost. I just wanted her to hold me like when I was a kid and I’d come in off the swings with a scraped knee. Maybe this time she meant it. Maybe it would all be okay. My hand found its way to the bolt again. My sisters voice came through the door, warm and gentle. “Yeah Emilie let us in, it’s all okay.” My hand froze on the bolt and I tightened my grip on the knife. Annie never called me by my full name. A hand banged on the door, handle rattling. “Emilie let us IN” Annie’s voice became low and guttural, followed by the same shrill giggles from before. Mom spoke now, pleading and crying, voice getting louder and louder. “Let us in let us in let us in,” over and over again, punctuated by her fists on the door. I thought about demons and monsters, all the bedtime stories we pray don’t crawl out from under the bed. “That’s not my sister and you’re not my mother!” I screamed through the door, hands over my head. I climbed into the bathtub and curled in a ball, cradling myself, knife clutched to my chest. I didn’t know what it was outside that door but I knew it wasn’t Annie. It wasn't the voice that yelled at when I changed TV channel, the one that sang me happy birthday, the one that told me I was smart even when I got bad grades, the one that read me stories about princesses that never wake up. It wasn’t human. Bangs and yells came from downstairs followed by the footsteps of people running. A low guttural howl ripped through the house, filling the room until I felt like I was drowning in the sound and then the door was kicked in. I screamed, covering my eyes, waiting to die. Arms found me and lifted me from the tub carrying me from the room. I looked at the outside of the door as I was carried downstairs. It was covered in long scraping claw marks, dragged down to the floor. Pillows ripped apart covered the hallway in soft down, like it had snowed inside. I watched them drift slowly as men in uniforms checked each of the rooms that looked like they had been torn apart by something feral. Outside in our drive way were police cars and an ambulance. In the middle of it all was Annie. Bathed in blue and red light as it washed over her, lit up in the dark like a neon angel, face aglow. I threw myself from the cops shoulder and ran to her, holding us both together, broken pieces and all, standing under all those constellations we made up. Gentle screaming came from the ambulance which rocked occasionally. Annie gently turned my head away, smiling so sadly it made my chest ache as I understood. Turns out there was no demon. No wild animal or bad men trying to break in. Just mom, out of her mind on booze and drugs and everything in between, coming to the end of a week long binge. Something had finally broken inside her head, and this time we couldn't put her back together no matter how hard we tried. Sometimes you fall one last time and you never get back up. Annie had seen her in the garden, blood dribbling from her mouth, track marks bulging on her forearms like unmapped roads, rail thin and desperate for one more hit, one more fix. She’d searched the kitchen for all the drink I’d thrown away and when she hadn’t found it, had come to hunt for the stash she hid in the bathroom. She hadn’t wanted me, just the drugs on the other side of the door, so high she could mimic Annie’s voice almost perfectly. Turns out the real monsters are the ones that eat you alive slowly, the kind that come in a bottle or a needle or at the end of a long list of reasons why you can’t get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes the monsters are the ones that raise you or love you the most. But it’s up to you if you let them in. submitted by /u/Coney-IslandQueen to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

TL;DR: I think Teemo's okay. Around 2008, Riot decided they needed a lighter end to their spectrum of champions. A race, so to speak, of creatures that were more jovial in portrayal than the dark kind they had been pouring their resources into. Led by a Rioter known only as 'Ezreal,' they developed Him in the still Indie-company-sized studio of Riot Games. Him. Genesis. From Him, a new race would come to be. From the hairless and often explosive females to the oft-dramatic males for and against Bandle's safety, all with their own undertakings. Most won't remember Him as the lawless origin to the race called Yordles. To many, too many, He is but an image in the Mind's eye, of a moppish-yet-sturdy smile. For others, the image is a scope in the hands of He, capable explorer and scout. For me, it was the story of a log, a paw, and a vaulting motion towards the player--invitation, demonstration and warning all in one. When I was in the last year of high school, my friends introduced me to League of Legends. I don't have the wherewithal to remember what season I joined. What do I remember in those first few games among friends? We were in a skype call. After some, if I may admit it, boring matches, I fled to the store to find someone more entertaining than Annie and Warwick to play. I saw Him. And spoke words my friends couldn't hear for they were whispered between the creature before me, and my quivering lips. "Oh my god, Teemo." "I thought you hated the game," my friends teased in the days afterward. I'd laugh off the question and say, "Top, please!" Then lock in Teemo, the Swift Scout. A smile pressed across my lips as I previewed my several skins, admiring the way they changed the context of this... this thing, rapidly encroaching on my impressionable young mind. What was it about Him that made me so eager to play League? Soon enough, as my friends either stagnated or stopped playing altogether. The introduced became the tenured, though my advice wasn't useful to new players. All I knew how to do was play Him. Q. Blinding dart. The force of those lungs. W. Move Quick. The work of His legs. E. Toxic Shot. His ingenuity. R. Noxious Trap. A calling card. I dreamt of walking down a road one day and spotting one in my path. Returning it to him and receiving a thank you for my time. But even in this domain I was left lacking, because the part of League that captivated me most was champ select... peering upon Teemo's splash, trying to capture the same feeling I had that first, blinding moment in high school. What had enamored me? I could see bits and pieces, yet a recollection of the entire artwork eluded me, and I began to grow frustrated and toxic. I risked being banned--after a two week warning, I realized I must go on a pilgrimage. On a road to discovery, to study Teemo and discover why this Yordle made me so passionate. And here I am today. Join me as we dissect what it means to be Teemo. Part one: a glimpse of his body. Imagine, if you will, the lush jungle of Kumungu. A buzzing, hot place full of danger at every step, yet rewarding travelers with constant doses of serenity and fae beauty. It is hard to imagine every single wonder this jungle can provide, nor their extent. Already its tall palms, the gromps that hop in massive packs to avoid predators, the rolling stones called Krugs, all assault your ability to separate fact from fiction. Wiping sweat off your brow, you stumble through the brush to emerge on a small clearing. The Kumungu hushes itself and you grow cautious, afraid of whatever laid in store in this sunny, almost picturesque relief. A campsite. You walk closer, setting down your things to inspect it. There is a small campfire, snuffed before dawn, and a swirl of broken twigs where a small body sat. As your surroundings continue to swirl about you as if the scene has trapped you in the reverie of another person, the true remnants of this campsite are revealed. The safety of it all, the confidence of a settler to sleep alone in the Kumungu. You imagine the quiet happiness of a creature who has had the honor to tame the jungle, breathing breath and circulating the blood of an adventurer through his diminutive and constantly-aware body. You imagine its leavings, a bundle of tinder, a rock utilized as a pestle. It sleeps in its own, victorious body. It survives with the intellect of its own mind. You glance back at your bag of man-made tools--and feel nothing but the worst scorn imaginable! What shame the scene drives in you, to be ever-reliant on the success of other men! You wish to lie prostrate right there in the middle of the clearing and plead, nay, pray for the same insight. Standing up from your journey into the mind of this legend, a noise breaks the spell. The bout of madness is over. You twist around to see what made the rustling. A chipper laugh. "HAHEEUHEAU." Gone. But all of that shameful energy has turned into determination. Leaving your pack on the ground, you deign to live as the animals do. Part two: to be a maid in his home. "Excuse me, maid," Teemo calls from the back room of his humble home in Bandle City, "I will be leaving again soon. Please leave my shoes outside my door." Your heart skips a beat. The Yordle, he, oh god, he just arrived home mere minutes ago. When accepting this job out of the classifieds, taking it for granted, an opportunity to travel, you never accounted for such a creature like the Swift Scout. Like Jane Eyre on her walk outside Thornfield, simply delivering mail and resuming her telltale boredom at a casual pace, your first sight of Teemo exploded the monotony decades hence. Rushing inside, covered in dust. Bootprints trailing on the sandalwood floors--"don't worry," you remember mumbling, "I can clean it up." "That's your job, right?" Teemo asked. You wouldn't know, but you caught him in a jovial, rather than murderous, mood. "I forgot, I haven't been home. Let's share a drink." The two of you sat across from one another. Teemo poured Bandle bourbon into two glasses. The large pitcher sloshed forward and you caught him catching it... tendons underneath his furred arm tensing. You weren't going to be able to keep this job, you surmise. Teemo carried the conversation on, while you imagined how the aftertaste of bourbon must feel on the back of his little throat. To think such a small, pernicious thing could knock more drinks down than you... And at this trying time, where you almost lost it all, he hadn't asked you to move his shoes. You near the boots of swiftness, breathing heavy. It takes a moment's preparation to reach down and grab them. Your fingers slip into them, and are greeted by warm air. The heat hasn't yet left the boots. Oh, Christ above!! They are still hot from use! From pounding, over, over, and over, over, and over, on the dirt ground underneath Teemo's feet!! Teemo shoots out of his bath, throwing a towel over himself. "Is everything okay?" He cries. "Did you slip?" All his visage does is earn another howl from your addled mind, yet so much panic forces you into a cooled state. Everything slows down while Teemo awaits an answer, you on the floor, he dripping wet with a head full of shampoo-bubbles. An offer begins to form on your lips. But then the scene ends. Part Three: His Fingers. Dear Riot, I heard you were changing the champion portraits. I have something to ask. Can you please make it so we can choose what part of the skin becomes the portrait? I really want my portrait to be Omega Squad Teemo's fingers. There is something about the singular makeup of his furred digits that inspires me to play better. My breathing becomes heavy, as if I am running a marathon at record pace, and my reaction times turn frenzied--almost as good as a scripter! When I imagine Omega Squad Teemo's fingers curled around my, sorry, his dart gun, I position better, I am more positive in games towards my fellow summoners. Can we do an AMA with the League artist who designed Teemo's fingers? I want to know why they chose that enticing groove, the perfect length of each follicle, the same-colored claws! Jesus Christ, I can imagine the thin veins running beneath those killer points, almost as much as I can smell Teemo's fingers curling under my chins mere moments before he SNAPS. MY. NECK. But then there is something else. The rotating game mode... Zigg's fingers are right out in the open, naked but for the pen in the clutch of his paws. Oh god, who draws these Yordles and their fingers? Have I said fingers a lot? Sorry. Imagine finding one of their perfect strands on your pillowcase, or floating in the broth of your chicken Campbell soup. You pick it up, holding it against a fluorescent light, and see its golden integrity in full. I want to have this moment happen forever and ever. If only you would give me the CHANCE. PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME JUST A GLIMPSE OF OMEGA SQUAD TEEMO'S RESPLENDANT DIGITS! I CANT HOLD BACK ANYMORE!!! Every time I am in school, at dinner, alone in my room, those fingers crawl under my clothing and pull me down into the fiery throes of passion. Please, please, please give me this feature or I don't know what will happen to me next. Part Four: A doughy dream. You are eating pancakes at mom's. There is a television on the kitchen counter, where she catches up on the latest news. The nonstop coverage of some political debate finally shuts up for commercials. Still groggy, the popping colors and loud noises of these ads entertain you. That is, until a cereal ad breaks away into a scene for Pillsbury biscuits. Your mind snaps out of half-sleep, so sudden your mom gives a peripheral glance to see what's the matter. It was like any other commercial from Pillsbury, involving a mascot selling some new brand of processed dough. Yet, and yet... the Pillsbury Doughboy had been replaced by Teemo. You spit out your mouthful of cereal back into your bowl, lean in, start to go off-kilter with fascination. "Press my belly again!" Teemo pleads. The stay-at-home mom in the commercial complies, a skeptical smile on her face as she presses in the scout's stomach. "Hoh-oh! Hee hee hee!" Sliiiide. Crack. Did your hand just act on its own, breaking your mom's expensive, favorite ceramic bowl? She says something and rushes off to fetch the broom. Now she has left you alone with Pillsbury Teemo. As you thought, the sly creature had been waiting for such a distraction. That the two of you met here was no matter of circumstance--Teemo immediately breaks away from the T.V mom, then gestures for you to come closer. "Would YOU like to press my tummy?" Teemo asks. You stand up, still with enough sense to avoid the broken ceramic. Teemo, the T.V mom, both wave you on like you're a marathon runner finishing the last leg of the race. Five fingers battle for which will do the honor, until you are sure the anticipation will break your hand. Then. Fizz. That was the static of the television prickling the fur on your index finger. Smiling, dumb, you press Teemo's exposed belly. "Hee hee hee, come with meee!" You are sucked inside the commercial! The other boys, real jocks and always needed a snack after their big game, stand aside for Teemo's honored guest. "Make me small like you," you beg. Teemo waves an arm and you start to notice the counter grow in size. "Yes, yes, yes!" Oh man, it is the best time, the greatest time, an excursion so pleasurable you think it might throw you into an aneurism. Thank you, god! Thank you, Pillsbury! Thank you, thank you--your feet makes small impressions in the dough as you and Teemo play tag, giggling like schoolgirls, while all the other members of your new family urge you on. Teemo tugs you down into the dough and the two of you snuggle together. "Are you ready to be together forever?" He asks. You give a muted nod, somehow knowing what comes next. T.V mom lifts up the tray of biscuits, telling the kids whoever behaves the best gets the 'specialest' biscuit. As the tray enters the oven, the scorching heat melting the skin on your backside, you wake up. Real mom is crossing her arms, angry. You fell face-first into your bowl of cereal again. The Pillsbury Doughboy, no longer Teemo, dances away on the screen. Mom turns to get a napkin. The Doughboy winks at you. Part Five: Playing against other Yordles. When I play against other Yordles, my blood runs hot. Teemo is the true owner of the top lane. Kled is a reject, someone better of driving him and his stupid lizard off of a cliff! And Lulu, that perennial little brat has no place anywhere, let alone in the Rift's proudest lane. Tristana can rocket-jump straight into a wood-chipper. Rumble is a college drop-out, and Corki doesn't even look like a Yordle. One day I went Teemo top against Kled. It was supposed to be an easy game, considering I was a gold III smurfing in Silver II. I got into a one-on-one with Kled, the battle going my way until the freak jumped off his mount at the right time, dodging a blinding dart. I became blinded by tears as my screen turned grey. Then again. And again. Teemo, my animus, was dying and it was my fault. The game ended at fifteen minute and I knew, not for the last time, I failed Him. My eyes went to my personal shrine to the scout, and I swore my framed picture of his face frowned with dissatisfaction. My heart palpitated. Right away I rushed to the pet store and bought myself two things: a rat and a lizard. My mind was a haze of fury and upset, yet the pet store owner let me get them anyway, and even smiled at me on my way out. Almost knowingly... I rushed back into my home, plopping my new pets in front of the shrine. I brandished a small letter-opener, then lifted the lizard over my portrait of a Teemo. "You love Skarl so much," I whispered, slipping my letter-opener under the beast's throat. "You love him, Kled. Well, I-I.. I..." I fell to the ground, sobbing. "I can't do it anymore!" I yelled, sobbing. "No more sacrifices, Teemo!" The truth was, I loved all Yordles. Teemo shouldn't ever ask me to harm what was made from His flesh, His blood. "Quite right," agreed a voice from behind me. I whirled around to find the pet-shop owner. "Finally, you understand." The rat and lizard scurried under the couch in fright, as their handler shrank before my very eyes! It was He! Devil Teemo! I fell prostrate, bowing to my Lord, crying tears of joy and penance. Devil Teemo gently took my blade away. "You've done well to learn the value of all life," he admitted. "I've paid close attention to your journey, first thinking to punish you... then to watch and see if you changed. And, bless the 'Shroom, you did." "T-Te-ee-mo!" I wailed. The devil smiled devilishly. "Say, did your really build AD last game? For that... I think I'll make you my personal servant for life." I offered my hands to him, and he put me in shackles made of silver. They were loose enough to not hurt me weak, brittle wrists. He dragged me into a portal, and my days on the Rift, rather than watching over it, were over. Part Six: My VR Teemo experience. The year is 2026. Oculus and everybody got their business together and figured out true Virtual Reality. The games published can now be called, unironically, triple A. Funnily enough, all they needed to do was provide a way for the game console to 'plug' into the player. The bridged, LAN connection of sorts allows the player to experience a much more visceral and fast experience. Of course, this comes with dangers. Games are now labelled 'rated M, male, 20-45' or 'T, for females aged 16-32.' This is because the bridged connection provides unique, situational sensations that certain biologies are unable to comprehend. Rule-breakers report a few... strange occurrences not available to the public. You know the risks of what you are about to do. Yet you have already stolen your sister's VR device, as well as her host of games on the Steam cloud. You went through the trouble of piecing her password together from her diary, so you can access the 'family unfriendly' portion of her library. It started that day you peeked inside her headset. That single image plagued the back of your lids until you preferred to be blind than... than to see it again without having the capability to interact. Too hungry to put it off anymore, you lift the VR helmet onto your head and plug the USB 7.0 jack into your armpit. By using brainwaves you enter your sister's password and access your chosen game in a nanosecond: Miracle Simulator--Yordle DLC. Right away the neuraltransmitters indicate a squeezing force on your left hand. You swivel to the left, and right away your breath is stolen. "Ow," Teemo says, laughing through a grimace. "Not so hard, honey." You look down and see the sky-blue hospital sheets. The constant beep of a heartbeat monitor bumps in your ears. A virtual doctor towers above your body, and you quickly get into bed to better complete the experience. This is definitely the game your sister was playing. "We're going to be a family?" You whisper into the mic, braving the voice features. Teemo loads a response. "Yes. A girl, remember?" You frown. "VR, load up situation change. Boy." "A b-b-boy, remember?" Teemo crackles, changing his response. "I'm retiring from scouting, getting a seat on the Bandle counsel. We'll never be apart, promise." The Yordle breaks composure, resting his head on you to weep. "I'm so proud of you, of us." The VR presses forward a spongy substance to soak up your tears. They flow freely. "Me too. I'm so happy to be here with you." The doctor finally has his own voice line. "Okay, here we go. Get ready to push--" A fierce disturbance coaxes a howl of pain from you! The hospital room flashes red as the sensation the game wants to deliver, your body is frankly unable to answer. Teemo's distorted, pixelated face gives you a concerned look. "I-Is p-p-p-play one okay?" "Yes!" You shriek to the heavens. "But exit, exit game!" In the last moment, the AI grins and waves you off. You fall out of your bed hyperventilating. The ribbons of your conscience ravel back into their rightful places. That experience almost killed you! "I'm okay," you breathe, "I'm okay, I'm alive." It was worth it, though. You rest a hand on your stomach, and feel a little kick. It was worth it--in more ways than anyone will ever know. Part seven: Dating Profile Single and ready to mingle! Teemo, the Swift Scout. I'm a scout who lives in Bandle City, and am looking for a light, honest-to-heart relationship. Applicants ought to know right away that to get to me, you have to get through my BFF Tristana. We're thicker than thieves, on the job and outside of it! Likes: long walks in the jungle, my work, sharing a drink with friends. Dislikes: burst damage, hard CC, people who can't take a joke, drama. One thing to know about me: I'm a Yordle. You might have guessed it from my profile image, lol. That means I'm shorter, and more emotional than some human or cat-person or Zaunite project. I break down at sad movies and want to beat up the villains in my favorite action flicks (John Wick 2 and Shaolin Soccer, bee-tee-dubs :) ) What I want most in a partner: honesty and commitment. Someone who doesn't underestimate this scout's code. My passion: microbrewing, believe it or not. A quirk: I go to work shirtless ;) So if you think I am a fit, let me know ASAP: a stud like me can't be on the market long, right? Part Eight: a reply to Teemo's dating profile. Dear Teemo, Your body is so chiseled--gah, let me restart this missive xD I can tell from your eyes you have suffered a great hurt in your past, and I cannot help but desire to mend you. A little bit about me: I am a budding warrior from Demacia, known for dispensing justice. Yet no one, not even my own sister, ever asks me to dispense sound advice. There's something so isolating to living in a bubble, you know? I want to make mistakes with someone, get cuffed and put into the backseat of a police car with someone. I read that you're passionate, oftentimes in the wrong way, and I see potential. Potential for the two of us to grow and flourish; live our lives together in imperfection. Will you hold me at night and whisper "it's okay" after I give you a tearful rendition of how I killed a six-year-old Noxian child? How I surprised here from inside a bush and drove my blade through her chest, and into her stuffed animal? People see me as larger than life, but I am so much smaller than a Yordle. Please, deliver me from this constant grief and my devotion is yours to do with as you please. Hope to hear from you soon, xD Garen. Part Nine: Teemo's reply to Garen. Hello Garen of Demacia, You sound brave enough to me. Hope you're man enough for some extreme hiking in the Kumungu HAHEUAHAUAH hope 2 see u soon, Teemo Part Ten: Teemo sacrifices himself in a hostage crisis I regret to inform Bandle City that, at 1:25 PM Saturday, Teemo the swift scout succumbed to injuries endured while protecting the Yordle people. Captain Teemo, even on days off, was on duty. It was no different that fateful morning at the Bandle Mint, our largest bank. When Veigar broke through the glass windows and demanded hostages, it was Teemo who withdrew his concealed firearm, a blowgun, and saved the lives of countless citizens. We cannot guess as to what went through his head in the fight that ensued. But we hope that we, the people, were grateful enough to the scout that he had nothing but gratitude in his valorous last moments. The shard of dark magic that took his life has done the world the greatest disservice. Even its thrower, Veigar, has begged Bandle's forgiveness for removing this brave warrior from our charge. Teemo is survived by his maid, as well as his close friend Garen. As denoted in his will, Poppy will lay him to rest in the Grove Cemetary tomorrow evening, after a procession befitting his brave soul. To everyone grieving, remember that Teemo did everything in life for the betterment of your day. That he would not want to see tears, but smiles on the childrens' faces while they go towards, again, a promising and bright future. Thank you, Captain Teemo, for your duty. Your loss is gonna sting. Part Eleven: Teemo's valiant return to life. Urgot knew he was going to need even more power to fight the chem barons. More than his weaknesses permitted. There was but one option, gleaned by him from a lab report never meant to cross his eyes. A scout named Teemo had been shipped to Zaun for containment. While his kind weeped, Teemo was merely put into an unstoppable rest by Veigar's curse. The dreadnought knew how to break such spells. Crawling forward on crablike legs, he peered over the Yordle. Such surprisingly toned arms, and a stomach taut with muscle... Urgot never considered the ultimate life form would exist without outside... construction. Not able to resist the urge, he pounded the 'awake' button to Teemo. Lightning pierced the pollution clouds above Zaun, went on to strike the antenna-tower! Urgot laughed joyously as Teemo's body flailed, receiving enough electricity to light all of Piltover for a week straight. Alive, Teemo was becoming alive! The Yordle gasped, shooting up on his stone bed. He immediately tugged loose the IV's in his arm and stared at the dreadnought, trying to figure out what was going on. Urgot found it unbefitting of the ultimate life-form to be so surprised. Then Teemo softly grinned. "Thanks for that, big guy," he said. "Wow... look at those arms..." The mechanical man wiggled in embarrassment. "Oh, t-these old things? Weak, the pinnacle of human weakness, you know hard it can be to find good augments around here." "No, no! I bet you could break a watermelon with these cannons." In the hours that came, Urgot forgot all about killing the chembarons and taking over Zaun. Instead, history changed. Teemo saved the world by having a long discussion about thick arms with Urgot. Part Twelve: Teemo eats a poptart Male Yordles have slightly protruded muzzles that make their mouths into tunnels of tiny, adorable, razor sharp teeth. Of course, Teemo isn't thinking about his incredible body, especially not with the aroma of a s'mores poptart right under his pink nose. You, his maid, quit dusting his trophy shelves, distracted to an exxtreme. You risk a glance over--the scout is preparing to take a bite, just setting down the Bandle tribune. "You know," Teemo says, delaying the poptart. "I had a dream about baked goods. I was stuck in some magic box, with giant humans..." 'Eat it,' your mind begs. 'Please, for the love of everyone, take a bite out of your poptart.' After the great scare that was his 'death,' and subsequent resurrection in Zaun, you needed this. "You look famished," you comment. "Eat your food, m'lord." Oh, and how sly you think you are! Teemo grins, knowing full-well that you have a penchant for noticing the little things. He turns his chair over to you. Stuck against the shelves there is nowhere to look other than at him. Teemo lifts the poptart to his mouth. He bites it. You watch as his cute incisors tear apart the cracked outside of the poptart. Then the gooey marshmallow comes: a strand sticks between his right canine and far, top-right molar. How far will it stretch? Mmm... how far, darn it?! Unable to stand alone, you swing back to clutch one of Teemo's trophies--a statue of him leaping over a log, a Nature's Friend award for saving the Kumungu jungle. Glomp, crick, glomp. Chew, chew, chew. You think you've fared the worst of it. Then he stops with his mouth open to breathe, making a show of it just to brutalize your poor, poor sensibilities! A crumb escapes and crawls away on the wooden floor, broken. "Ah, it's so good," he mumbles through the mouthful. "As a good scout, I ought to finish this piece of my rations, and continue to the next. But this.. this bite is more scrumptious, somehow?" "Stop!" You yell. "No more, I yield, I yield!" Just then, Garen breaks into the room. He is unhappy. "What are you doing, dear?" Garen asks. "Don't tell me..." Teemo leans back and swallows. You watch the poptart mush go down into his gullet and the spell breaks, thank the Mothership. "Merely entertaining our maid." If anyone else sat where Teemo did, Garen might have lectured them. Yet the devil is far too charming. The Demacian warrior takes a seat. "Well," he says, "we have a long hike today. Eat your food." Your clutch your own head in consternation. Not another bite... Part thirteen: Leemo NOTE: this section is not about Teemo, but his brother I created, Leemo. Although related by blood, they are dangerous and devilish in different ways. Leemo was born in darkness, which is thought to be the reason for his dark velvet coat. Unlike the light-son Teemo, Leemo was cast away by his parents to live in the Deathcage Orphanage, an orphanage where even infants must fight to survive. Fight he did. His first kill was upon two snakes, who attacked him in hopes of poisoning his strong body. Then two bulls, who attacked him in hopes of poisoning his strong mind. Then two horses, who attacked him in hopes of poisoning his strong resolve. Leemo went on to become a freelance assassin. He has wavy purple fur that creates a human-like part over his brow. He never looks happy except in private when he finds a picture of his beloved, Jasmine, who perished in the HexTech wars. Unlike Teemo, Leemo is dangerous both on and off the battlefield. Say one thing wrong against him, like try to bully him, and he will beat you up. He likes to drink blood for breakfast, eat baby deer for dinner. Sometimes you can find the purple Yordle pondering the meaningless existence of life atop a stone gargoyle, or photoshopped onto the front cover of my Shadow the Hedgehog Videogame. It is foretold that the two brothers Teemo and Leemo will meet one day. Even so Leemo is my original character and I love him devoutly, I know Teemo will kill his brother in cold blood. The true 'original' characters is too pure, too powerful for any foolish iteration to improve upon. I cry knowing my precious and brooding Leemo is destined for the slaughterhouse. Teemo, if you are reading this, please spare Leemo. The sweetest wine is but one flavor, and Leemo is the flavor I partake in when you are busy. Sorry. So sorry. Big sorry. Part fourteen: Team Liquid gets new management. "Gimme back my bobblehead!" Piglet yelled, jumping up and down with his arms outstretched. Dardoch tittered, continued his mean game. The Teemo bobblehead, a precious heirloom to the marksman, shook its head 'no' in disappointment. "You will never get it back. I hate you, you play to lose." Locodoco, their coach, did nothing to alleviate the situation--instead, his grating laughter made it all the worse. "Fools, stop fighting, you guys are idiots who won't listen to me." "Idiots!" Cried Team Liquid's manager from the doorway. "Listen up. You are all very naughty so we have gotten the best to coach you. I had to sign a contract in my own blood." All the toxic players in the room cocked their head to the side, confused. So basically everyone except TL's support cocked their head to the side, confused. "Ay ay ay," the manager groaned. "Look down." Down by their manager's knees was none other than Devil Teemo! Piglet's eyes lit up with sardonic glee. At last, justice would be served to this naughty jungler. Teemo leaned on the doorway and smiled, knocking fear and titillation into the hearts of the young team. Locodoco perked up in his seat. "You are no Tristana, though," the coach whispered, unable to argue against his heart. "And yet, so striking..." "Trust me," Devil Teemo said in his demonic voice, "I get that a lot." "No way!" Dardoch cried. "We just teamed with Disney. this makes no sense." "You think the devil himself and Disney aren't close friends?" The way his long, pointed claws carved itno the door forced Dardoch to shut up. "You have been a sinner, Dardoch. Some might call you the Michael Jordan of League of Legends, switching teams so often, except you haven't actually won a tournament." The jungler flinched. "I wonder what your true 'breaking point' is. Consider yourself replaced." Teemo lifted out a single finger and flicked it up. A trap door opened beneath Dardoch, dragging the Team Liquid player into the fiery depths of League of Legends elo hell. Piglet cried with such joy that his voice cracked. Dardoch's last gesture was to drag his nails across the carpet before being sucked into infinite torture. Out from the flames rose a new jungler. A gaunt and humble student of Teemo. TheRainMan. "TheRainMan?!" Shouted Piglet. "No, it cannot be, he was made irrelevant years ago." "I used to live a quiet life, being toxic in games and sacrificing small animals to my Lord," TheRainMan explained. "One day, I found the strength to stop. Teemo has helped me remain strong ever since." Devil Teemo nodded. "Prove yourself to them, my servant." Nearby, Reignover was losing a game of League as per usual. TheRainMan pointed a single digit, which by dark magics became furred, long. A yellow bolt shot forth from his fingernail, hitting Reignover's screen. In an instant the camera broke away from the player's champion, panning towards the enemy nexus. It exploded. Team Liquid's manager gave a toothy grin. Disney had given him the power to change the fabric of league itself. Part Fifteen: A bit of his blood You sit there, reminiscing on your school paper assignment. This dissertation will decide whether or not you become the Bandle scientist your parents want you to be. The subject of your study is a simple one, yet intrinsically deep by its execution: is Teemo's scarf a part of his body, or a part of his outfit? Pencil in hand, you ponder the question. There is but seventy-two hours left to write, seventy-two hours to do an assignment said to take several weeks. Once again you drift to those long, red strands. If it was so simple as reaching forward and touching the beautiful silk pictured in your memory! The great Yordle, Teemo, is yars away, looking through books without a clue you're studying him. Sighing, you resign yourself to abject failure, putting away your papers. When, in the corner of your eye, you spot a strange substance by the shelves. The allure of the red liquid brings you closer to Teemo than ever before. Close enough to hear the Yordle curse under his breath and say four syllables that set your heart to floundering. "Ow," Teemo cries, "papercut!" The Yordle walks away without another word. The blood rests on the paper of the book. The book's title? Who cares... This is the blood of Teemo. A deep, red marker of the vivacious creature's existence. In the quiet, unoccupied annals of the Bandle library, Teemo unwittingly left it in your charge. What will you do with it? Touch it. There is enough there to get a full drop to form on the end of your pinky finger. It glistens red, and feels thicker in content than your, or anyone else's blood. You almost smell the scout's outdoorsy lifestyle in its formation. Not giving it a second thought you pop your pinky into your mouth. Lights of the entire rainbow hit you! In a second you find yourself strapped into a seat, pen let free! The euphoria of Teemo's blood gives you a lust for learning, a lust for all things in life. A mere drop grants you the rarest insight into the Yordle's scarf. It is both a part of him and a part of his outfit. An identity and a disguise, a mark of how he kills enemies then drinks with friends. Line after line after line--by the time you start to come down from the high, your dissertation is done. But Teemo has found you panting at one of the tables. He frowns, concerned. "You drank my blood, didn't you?" Teemo inspected his own finger, still bleeding from the papercut. "The addiction is so great, if we don't wean you off, you might die." You nod. That is fine. It was worth ultimate bliss. But the Yordle has no plans to let an innocent die due to his perfection. He hold out his arm. "I want you to pace yourself. It's okay..." Your memory begins to blacken and fade out just as you eagerly lift his hand towards your mouth. You see many things in your sleep. A tray of biscuits, a strange machine with many cords, a missive to Riot about fingers. You see a devilish him, a purple him, a him that coaches Team Liquid. You see floating poptarts and hot shoes. You realize how Teemo is an inter-dimensional gift sent to those who need someone to love. An animus. An inspirer. The genesis. As reality rips you away from this endless paradise, Teemo drags you towards his world for one last thing. Your lips finally meet. It is too indescribable, to inexplicable. When you awake, Teemo has left you to your own devices. You stand up and quietly, pleasantly, resume your day, content to put away all that has happened. I finish these words with the greatest joy. Finally my love has been explained, to both myself and to the world. Some will comment accusations like 'have you no shame,' to which I answer that I have plenty of shame, but only for holding back this long. Teemo, if you ever come before me, I adore you. You are my everything, my alpha and omega squad. If it comes to be that we ever can hold hands, know that nothing will ever separate us. Know that, even in the meanest thunderstorm, I will bury my face in your neck-scarf and expect safety, as you expect loyalty from me. We will be together, we will be... complete. Thank you Riot 'Ezreal' for designing the champion. Thank you Riot Games for allowing him in your game, League of Legends. Thank you to the community that plays, whose collective thoughts and desires coagulated into this post. On my lips I summarize all my love: Oh my god... Teemo. Phew! Glad that's over. Now that Teemo's out of the way, let me tell you guys how much I love Twitch... submitted by /u/Papaya_Dreaming to r/leagueoflegends [link] [comments]