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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRAPurplePeach Husband (37M) accused me (35F) of having a "porn addiction" Originally posted to r/relationship_advice BoRU 1 TRIGGER WARNING: false accusations Original Post Dec 19, 2021 My husband (37M) and I (35F) got married about two years ago, shortly before the pandemic hit. We've both had a very rough time during those couple years, due to losing multiple family members to Covid and both having jobs that got more stressful/demanding. Despite all these stresses, we have managed to maintain a really high quality sex life (about 4-5 times a week or sometimes more, with sex that is fun, creative and highly satisfying to both of us). Our marriage has also otherwise been great with excellent communication, lots of non-sexual affection, and support for each other through the stresses. At least until about a week ago. My husband and I both like to read quite a bit. However, we tend to read during our commutes or lunch breaks and not so much at home, so that we can spend more interactive quality time together when we both have free time. We don't usually spend a lot of time discussing what we are reading - I know he likes books about history and spy novels, but at any given time I probably couldn't tell you what he is reading (we both read on Kindle and have separate accounts from before we were married) unless there is an especially interesting book he brings up. I will admit I like to read romances that have an erotic component...at least within certain parameters. I don't read any books that glorify adultery or other cheating and most of what I read involves hot monogamy and committed relationships. That being said, there are a lot of explicit scenes. I will also admit that I do use the books to keep my personal "spark" alive and bring that back to my husband. I don't fantasize about being with other men, but often do get ideas for positions, role-play scenarios, lingerie I could wear, etc. With all the family deaths and work/pandemic stress, it would have been really easy to let my libido get smothered but the books have helped remind me to prioritize intimacy with my husband and have provided some ideas for how to do that, when I have been too stressed and exhausted to come up with my own ideas from scratch. My husband happened to see my reading list last week and, much to my surprise, went ballistic. Said I was hiding a porn addiction from him and ranted at me for hours before storming out. Then he went and told our family members and several close friends about my "addiction." I am just flabbergasted because THEY'RE JUST BOOKS, books I don't read during time we are otherwise supposed to be spending together and that actually help my sense of sexuality. Also - we don't have any particular restrictions on actual porn in our relationship anyway - neither of us is much into visual porn, but we've never prohibited it with each other. Unfortunately, the people he told now think I am spending hours a day watching porn and ignoring my husband and aren't believing me that my "addiction" is just mainstream romance novels that I read during time that would otherwise be wasted. Husband has given me an ultimatum to get "treatment" (12-step program, therapy or even rehab) for my "porn addiction" or he will divorce me. I want to be sensitive to his feelings but I don't think I "addicted" or doing anything wrong here. I could give up the books, but then I just wonder what harmless thing he is going to demand I give up next. I really do love him and want our marriage to work, though. What should I do? INFO: In case anyone is wondering if this is a money issue, it isn't. We pool most of our money in joint accounts but each have an allotment to personal accounts for our own spending money. The money for my books comes out of my personal account so it's not taking anything away from my husband or our household expenses. TL;DR: Husband found out I like to read erotic romances, then accused me of being a "porn addict" and is demanding I get "treatment" for this or he will divorce me. RELEVANT COMMENTS [deleted] Something is up with him. Maybe he’s having an affair, maybe he is massively fragile and his ego can’t handle the idea that you are getting erotic enjoyment from a book. I would offer him a counterproposal: marriage counseling for both of you or divorce. You need to get to the bottom of this BS. OOP But the thing is I'm not even getting "enjoyment" from it in the sense of , say, touching myself. If I've had a stressful day at work (which is most of the time lately) then if I use my commute to read an erotic romance I'll bring that charge home with me and usually we have a great night. Otherwise I'm much more prone to bring the work stress home with me instead. Marriage counseling is a good idea. I'd like to hear from a professional if I'm doin anything wrong (I don't really think I am but am open to other perspectives) or if there are other things I can/should do to keep up my libido that would be less upsetting to my husband. ~ unHolyDumpfire Whoa. Divorce? Over books? Dude is wikkid projecting or totally searching for a reason to get you out of the way. If this is his genuine no bullshit belief, he's got screws loose and you ought to consider taking your half and leaving. A 12 step program for books? GTFO. Get a PI to check him out. This is a classic misdirection campaign to shift all blame to you before he starts his "new found" relationship post divorce. OOP It's weird because it's so sudden. He has always been relaxed and easygoing. More stressed lately (we both have been) but never snapping at me let along making huge accusations. I'm so confused and you're right, it does seem like a move deliberately designed to throw me off balance. Update - rareddit Dec 21, 2021 (2 days later) First, I appreciate all those who responded - never thought this one would get so much interest! As many suggested, I spoke to my husband again about the issue and suggested marriage counseling. I said that, while I disagreed that my romance novel habit (again, I only read during my commute or lunch break, not during time we would have to spend together) was the same thing as full-blown porn and that I definitely didn't see it as "cheating," I was sorry that I hadn't been more upfront about this hobby and my reasons for it, and was also sorry that I had hurt him. I told him that I thought a professional evaluation would be helpful just in case it was an addiction for which some sort of treatment was warranted, and also that we could use professional guidance on keeping our spark alive during extremely stressful times through other strategies if he disagreed with me reading the novels. Unfortunately, he didn't accept my apology and insists that the damage has been done to our relationship. He wants to proceed with a divorce since I said I wanted a professional evaluation before admitting I had an "addiction" and that as I'm not taking responsibility for behavior he views as a betrayal, there is no trust left to save. We're still in the same house for now, but he is going to move out as soon as he can get an apartment, hopefully in January, and...I guess that's it. I'm devastated because I really love (loved?) him and thought we have a strong and lovely marriage. A bit part of me wants to throw myself at his feet and tell him whatever he wants to hear, but I know that wouldn't be healthy for me. I just have to assume he wanted out for whatever reason and latched onto this as something he could blame me for. I did reach out to all the people (family/friends) he told I had a "porn addiction" (at least my family members and friends, I don't really know how many people altogether he told) and clarified that I don't watch visual porn, that I do read mainstream romance novels during my commute and lunch break and that this is what he was objecting to as "porn" and "cheating." My family/friends seemed horrified and shocked (at his behavior, not mine) and I have now regained their trust and support to get through the divorce. I'm going to go visit my parents for a week starting in a couple days and will be spending New Year's weekend with a couple friends in the area so I won't be alone for the holidays. I feel like I've been put through the wringer but I'll muddle through. I don't think I'll ever know the real reason why my husband decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore, but I guess it doesn't really matter. And whenever I'm ready to start dating again, I'll be sure to disclose upfront that I regularly read romance novels, including ones with a lot of erotic scenes, just in case that's a dealbreaker. FINAL COMMENTS ucancallmebless I think you're right that he wanted out and just used that as an excuse. I'm sorry he made you feel bad, and I'm also sorry he tried to turn your support system against you and twisted things so horribly. This is deja vu for me. But I can tell you a year later I'm in such a good healthy place and I hope eventually, you will be too. The fact that he didn't want to try and repair things with counselling seems like a dead giveaway that he was ready to be done. OOP Thank you - that is really encouraging. I knew we were likely done for when he wouldn't agree to counseling, because someone who was upset but still invested in the relationship would probably at least listen to my apology (I know I don't have to be extremely sorry for reading mainstream romances in my spare time, but I was indeed sorry for hurting someone I loved) and at least try out counseling. So glad to hear you are in a better place now and I do have hope that next holiday season will be a lot more joyful/festive (this one is a real bummer although I'm trying to stay positive). Does OOP know what the husband's motivation for all this was I do think his motivation was to blow up the marriage, come out smelling like a rose and generally put me on the defensive. And for a bit it worked! I think he counted on me being so embarrassed that I wouldn't talk to my family/friends about what really happened but I actually decided to fight back and now he's looking like a complete idiot at least to anyone who matters to me. What if the husband offered counseling in exchange for giving up the books I could quit and read other types of books, but I would be losing something that both brings me joy and adds a spark to our marriage. If he had asked me to quit but agreed to sit down with me and work on other ideas for keeping our bedroom spark without using any outside material, I would have gladly done that. Instead he came at me with accusations and badmouthing me to my friends and family. And why should I contort myself to please someone who would be so cruel? Were there any problems in their sex life No - we didn't have any problems in the bedroom. We were being intimate around 4-5 times a week, for long and satisfying sessions. Sometimes I did need a little help to get in the mood in the first place, yes - but not because our bedroom life itself was poor, but because I was sad from losing several family members to Covid. The books got me out of my own head and back to wanting to be romantic with my husband - because they showed couples making each other a priority even during difficult times and that inspired me to show more love and affection instead of letting sadness get the best of me. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]