Track emerging trends and get alerts when they grow. Create a free account to monitor this trend.
Create Free Account
Home / Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth

Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth

US United States
Sustained growth High volatility Forecasted flat
Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth
What is Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth?

Soft foods after tooth surgery refer to easily chewable and digestible foods that are recommended for patients recovering from dental procedures such as tooth extractions, implants, or other oral surgeries. These foods help minimize discomfort and promote healing.

Treendly Index Treendly Forecast Google
How much search volume does it get?
Who is interested in this?
Gender
Female
86%
Unspecified
11%
Male
4%
Age
18-24
14%
25-34
31%
35-44
27%
45-49
9%
50-54
7%
55-64
8%
65+
4%

Is Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth trending?

Yes. Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth growing with a month-over-month change of 0.73% over the past 5 years.


Why is Soft Foods After Surgery Teeth trending?

1
Promotes Healing
Soft foods are less likely to irritate the surgical site, allowing for faster recovery and reducing the risk of complications such as dry socket.
2
Reduces Pain and Discomfort
Eating soft foods minimizes the need for chewing, which can be painful after surgery, thus providing a more comfortable eating experience.
3
Nutritional Needs
Soft foods can still provide essential nutrients needed for recovery, including proteins, vitamins, and minerals, which are crucial for healing.
4
Increased Awareness of Dental Health
As more people become aware of the importance of dental health and the impact of oral surgeries, the demand for soft food options has increased, leading to a rise in popularity.
5
Convenience and Accessibility
With the growing trend of meal delivery services and pre-packaged soft food options, patients find it easier to access suitable foods during their recovery period.

Where is this trending?

Images
soft foods after surgery teeth soft foods after surgery teeth soft foods after surgery teeth soft foods after surgery teeth soft foods after surgery teeth
Related queries
Demographics
Gender
Female
86%
Unspecified
11%
Male
4%
Age
18-24
14%
25-34
31%
35-44
27%
45-49
9%
50-54
7%
55-64
8%
65+
4%

What are people saying?

23 threads
AI Insights Mixed sentiment
Discussions primarily revolve around the experiences and recommendations for consuming soft foods after dental surgery, with users sharing their personal stories and dietary tips.
Dietary Recommendations
Users discuss various soft food options that are easy to eat post-surgery, including smoothies, mashed potatoes, and yogurt.
Surgical Recovery Experiences
Many participants share their experiences with dental surgery and how they managed their diet during recovery.
Pain Management
Conversations include methods for managing pain while eating soft foods, including the use of medication and timing meals.
Frustrations with Food Choices
Users express frustrations about limited food choices and the challenge of finding satisfying soft foods.
Emotional Support
Participants often provide emotional support to one another, sharing encouragement and advice during recovery.
Common questions
  • What are some good soft food options after dental surgery?
  • How long should I stick to soft foods?
  • What should I avoid eating after surgery?
  • Are there any tips for managing pain while eating?
  • How can I make soft foods more enjoyable?
Pain points
  • Limited food choices can be frustrating.
  • Difficulty in finding satisfying meals.
  • Managing pain while trying to eat.
  • Concerns about nutrition during recovery.
  • Feeling unsatisfied with the recovery diet.
r/gallbladders
Sore teeth one month after surgery
Hi, I had my gallbladder removed a month ago. Since then, my teeth are very sensitive. Anything sweet hurts my teeth. Soft foods make them uncomfortable as well. Has anyone experienced this? If so, how long did it last? At first I thought maybe it was acid/the breathing tube. I don’t feel like I get heartburn or acid reflux. I’m using Sensodine tooth and gum toothpaste. It’s not helping. I have a dentist appointment this fall and I’m considering moving it up. Thanks! submitted by /u/SouthernCategory9600 to r/gallbladders [link] [comments]
SouthernCategory9600 · Jul 3, 2026
r/FosterAnimals
I want others to know he existed.
This is blue. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago I was on my way home from the grocery store and I saw this little guy standing on the side of the dirt road that I live on. I live in the middle of nowhere so I knew he was obviously dumped. I stopped and tried to get him to come to me and he ran off into the woods. So, I came home and got some dog food and some water and went back out. As soon as I opened the can of dog food he came right up to it and started eating. I could tell the poor baby was full of worms. So I reached out my hand and said very softly, "please let me touch you and don't bite me". He did not even flinch, just finished eating. I then poured him a bowl full of water and he drank the whole thing and looked up at me with those beautiful sad eyes. I put a leash around his neck and tugged and he just flattened to the ground so I knew I was not going to get him in the car using a leash. I sat with him for a little while and scratched his head and talked to him. Told him who I was and that I rescue and foster animals and if he would let me pick him up and put him in the car I promised he would never be hungry, thirsty or scared again. I reached down and picked him right up. Never a growl or showing of his teeth or anything. Got him home and gave him a good bath, picked a bunch of fleas and ticks off of him, fixed him a nice soft bed and gave him another big meal. The next day I took him up to the Humane Society where he was vaccinated, treated for fleas and ticks and given dewormer. The next morning I noticed there was a spot under his neck that was swollen. Our Humane Society is on an intake hold because we are out of money and out of fosters. But, I was not going to put him back where I found him and I was certainly not going to let him suffer. Two of our volunteers work at a vet's office so I took him there the next morning and said I will pay for whatever I have to out of my pocket. Turned out it was an abscess on his neck so they drained it and gave him pain medication and an antibiotic and I brought him home. He was 5 months old. Full of worms just like I suspected but we got rid of all of those. Took him the following Monday to be neutered, rabies shot and microchip so he would be ready for adoption. But the whole time I had him he was very shy and very timid. As long as I was sitting down next to him he was fine but the minute I would stand up he would cower down. I could not speak loudly or clap my hands. He would come to me sometimes but I could not get him to walk with me. He would follow me but he would always stay about 6 ft behind me. I tried to get him to play with toys and he had no idea what they were. He just laid there all the time looking sad. He got the Zoomies one time after a bath but they lasted for seconds and then he stopped himself and cowered down and looked up at me. Another time I threw the ball and got no reaction. So I ran and got it and brought it back. I did that several times and on the 4th or fifth time I threw it he went and got it! He picked it up and he threw it up in the air, caught it and went to throw it in the air again and then he just dropped it and coward to the ground. That let me know not only was he neglected and dumped but he was obviously abused every time he started to act like a puppy. That broke my heart. After having the abscess drained he had a fever and was on an antibiotic. When he got neutered he was still running a fever so the Humane Society vet prescribed him another week of antibiotics. But, I just kept having this feeling that something was not right. I had never seen a five month old puppy that just did nothing. And his fever would not go away. So, I got up this morning and took him back to the vet. He had stopped eating, drinking or moving. And he was sweating and when I picked him up I realized he had been peeing in his bed. Now this whole time there was never a whimper or a cry or anything. They did blood work and x-rays and called me and said they thought he had a blockage and they needed to do exploratory surgery and it was going to cost $1,200 just for the exploratory surgery. Then of course if they found anything it was going to be more money on top of that. Our Humane Society is out of money and I just don't have access to that kind of money right now. I asked if we could wait until Monday because I was going to try to raise the funds. The vet said we have got to find out what's wrong because with the shape he is in he will not last until monday. I had to make the unfortunate decision to let them go ahead and euthanize him. I felt so horrible for that. That money had stopped me from being able to save this 5-month-old puppy. Then a few hours later I got a call from the vet. They had decided to do an autopsy to see what was going on. While this baby was dumped out in those woods he apparently ate something while he was scrounging for food and whatever it was he could not digest and it punctured his stomach and part of his stomach had gone necrotic and died and he was septic. So, there was no amount of money in the world that could have saved him. That does not make this any easier at all. I hope the person that dumped him dies a slow and painful death. I just want Blue to be remembered for the amazing puppy that he was and the incredible dog he could have grown up to be. He did not deserve what happened to him. I can only hope that the two and a half weeks of fierce and unconditional love that I gave him made up for the first 5 months of his life. submitted by /u/kppsmom to r/FosterAnimals [link] [comments]
kppsmom · Jul 3, 2026
r/National_Pet_Adoption
13yr old Swayze is on euthanasia risk at anytime as of 5/23 🚨 NCY Shelter 🚨
Please Comment share pledge foster adopt rescue https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17eUQJZePE/?mibextid=wwXIfr **PRIORITY PLACEMENT—MEDICAL** Darling little cutie pie SWAYZE was found all alone in Brooklyn, trying his best to navigate the world with limited vision. Even so, this brave boy has tolerated gentle handling, and he’ll happily tell you that treats are the key to his heart. Sudden movements near his head can startle him because he simply can’t see well enough to understand what’s coming. Unfortunately, Swayze is in significant pain from his eye disease, and he’s also struggling with a few other medical concerns. His prognosis is good with proper diagnostics and treatment including an enucleation as soon as possible. This sweet, little soul deserves comfort and a soft place to land. If you can open your home and heart to him, please message our page today to apply to foster or adopt. Swayze will be coming off stray hold soon, and he needs his hero waiting. SWAYZE, ID 254256, 13 years old, 20 lbs., Male Queens ACC, Small mixed breed, Black/Gray Owner surrender reason: Date of Intake: 11-May-2026: Stray Behavior Assessment Rating: TBD No children under 13 Medical Behavior: tolerated basic handling, food motivated, tried to bite when head touched—he has limited vision—so he was muzzled for rest of exam. What my friends at ACC say about me: My history is a mystery and my friends here do not know much about me yet! I have medical needs that staff will address with you when you meet me. I love to be loved, but on my own terms! Let's brush up on some canine body language together! I would do best in a home with only adult humans. INTAKE NOTES—Date of Intake: 11-May-2026 OWNER SURRENDER NOTES—BASIC INFORMATION SWAYZE was found on Riverdale Drive and Snediker Avenue in Brooklyn 11207. BEHAVIOR NOTES: Date of Intake: 11-May-2026 Spay/neuter status: No Means of surrender: Length of time in previous home: stray SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES: COMING SOON BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: coming soon Recommendations: No children under 13 MEDICAL EXAM NOTES: 12-May-2026 Spay-Neuter Waiver Documentation Medical Notes: 10:30 AM [Spay/Neuter Waiver - Age] It is the policy of ACC not to perform surgery on any animal over the age of 8-10 years due to the higher risks incurred in a shelter setting. The veterinarian is hereby issuing a permanent spay/neuter waiver, from the spay/neuter requirements of the City of NY due to the estimated age of this animal. ACC does recommend you consult with your veterinarian to determine if surgical sterilization is appropriate. VET-P 992354 12-May-2026 DVM Intake Medical Notes: 10:41 AM DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: approx. 13yrs based on dentition/conformation Microchip noted on intake? scans negative History: Stray Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior - tolerated basic handling and was treat-motivated, tried to bite when head was touched, muzzled for remainder of exam and tasks Is there evidence of suspected cruelty? no Objective: P = 130 R = 24 BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes bilateral blepharospasm with OS large central corneal rupture and purulent discharge, does not menace consistently, OD injected sclera with exposure keratitis, clouded cornea and buphthalmia, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted Oral Exam: thick calculus covering remaining teeth with thickened and inflamed gingiva PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: slightly distended, non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MI; 2 testicles descended MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, dry hair coat, bilateral stifle crepitus, slightly overgrown nails CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Wood's Lamp Exam: not performed Assessment: Geriatric MI canine OS ruptured globe with end-stage changes OD buphthalmia with exposure keratitis, scleral injection and clouded cornea (r/o underlying KCS vs glaucoma vs other) Severe dental disease Slightly distended abdomen (r/o overweight vs organomegaly vs mass) Prognosis: good with additional diagnostics/treatment Plan: intake tasks CBC/Chem/T4 Start gabapentin 15mg/kg PO BID indefinitely Place in medical with signage to alert staff that he has limited vision DVM recheck tomorrow and review labs; plan to start topical Ofloxacin OU BID x 10 days if he will tolerate handling with pain meds on board Rec add-on additional pain medications including oral NSAID if labwork is WNL Rec enucleation OS as soon as possible after stray hold; may also need enucleation OD pending further work-up including tonometry once his pain is managed SURGERY: Permanent waiver due to age VET-P 992354 ************************************ * TO FOSTER / ADOPT * To foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog please PRIVATE MESSAGE our page at https://www.facebook.com/NYCDogsLivesmatter so we can assist and guide you through the process. PLEASE NOTE: To foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog you need to live within a prescribed range of New York City. States include: NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. If you are outside of this range, you have the option to “direct adopt” where you must go to the shelter “in person” to complete the adoption process. We can guide you through that process. NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters. Level 4 Dogs with Level 4 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters. It is suggested adopters have prior experience with the behaviors described. New Hope Rescue Only Dogs with this rating need to be pulled by a New Hope Partner Rescue. Contact our page or email us for assistance. submitted by /u/Icy_Bee_2752 to r/National_Pet_Adoption [link] [comments]
Icy_Bee_2752 · May 23, 2026
r/cats
Our cat dies after routine procedure…. 😞
Our cat, Kathy, was only 6 years old. We were told she had some type of oral issu that would cause her ongoing and continually worse pain. So we saved up the money, figured out a payment plan, and set the date for what we were told was a necessary and routine oral procedure. . Here’s what happened next: Kathy was given anesthesia, had 7 teeth extracted. We were called and told everything went fine, they wanted to keep her for a few hours, post anesthesia to make sure she’s ok. We picked her up 4 hours later at 7pm. Kathy seemed fine when she got home, she was def a little out of it, slight nasal decongestion , a little restless. This was all normal and we were told to expect her to be lethargic over next 24 hours+. At midnight she still seemed fine, gave her very little soft food with medicine. She slept on her bed and was checked on through the night. The following morning, Kathy still seemed ok, she was slightly more lethargic but was still moving around and showing affection through out the more. At 1:30pm , when she was going due for her pain meds - she seemed even more sleepy. After making some calls and reading, re-reading her paperwork we were confident that this was still normal and would just keep a closer eye on her. At 2:30 she was still in the same spot and seemed very lethargic. She allowed me to pick her right up (was not normal ) so we called the vet. They were closed and answering machine referred another hospital for emergencys. We rushed and put Kathy in her carrier and rushed to the animal hospital. We arrived and they brought her right back. We explained everything and approved them to complete blood tests/ x rays to see what’s going on. Almost immediately they said she was going down hill fast. At this point we started to come to terms that Kathy may not make it. Within 30 minutes we were told she was really suffering and agreed for her to be put down. We are heart broken. It all happened so fast. We thought we were doing the right thing for Kathy. We also paid a lot of money and no longer have our cat. We lost our other cat in 2024 , from old age and kidney disease. But we thought we had a few years at least left with Kathy. I’m not trying to put the place(s) on blast. They didn’t mean to purposefully hurt our cat. We’d like to think there a possibility of returning some of the cost. But I really just wanted to vent and share. Maybe we shouldn’t have had the original surgery, maybe we could have brought her to the ER sooner. Idk. I’m upset and sad that we lost our cat. RIP. Love you Kathy. Thanks for sharing some time with us. submitted by /u/Additional_Path_5435 to r/cats [link] [comments]
Additional_Path_5435 · Aug 18, 2025
r/wisdomteeth
Best food to eat after wisdom teeth removal as well as advice
Feeling much better on day 10. I am able to eat and didn’t get dry socket thankfully. Here’s some food you can eat as well as overall advice all given to me by my doctor. Cologne is only there to cover private info. submitted by /u/XshouaX to r/wisdomteeth [link] [comments]
XshouaX · Aug 9, 2025
r/vanderpumprules
“My good side: A memoir” - Updates as I read
Im currently finishing chapter 17/17. So far I give it 2/5 Scheana’s Fab enchiladas 🌯🌯 Intro Scheana claims she’s a people please and a trailblazer and acknowledges the contradiction. First mention of 🎤John Mayer. Chapter 1 She was born in West Covina (Editorial: Jewel of the inland empire and 2hrs from the ocean/4 hrs with traffic for any Crazy Ex Girlfriend fans; Scheana is Valencia), but grew up in Azusa. Her mom was 18 and dating casually when she met Raul in Vegas. He was an emcee and they made a tiny little Scheana. But Ron, the other man Ericka was dating wanted to raise Scheana as his own, so he stepped up. Ron and Ericka didn’t get married until Scheana was in 5th grade. And they wouldn’t live together until they were married so Ericka and Scheana lived in their own in a small apartment while he lived in his family home which had 7 bedrooms (giant house). Editorial- this made me say huh???? How was Ron raising Scheana with Ericka when he wasn’t even staying with them? 11 years is a long time to date without cohabitation after you agree to raise a child together. Scheana was obsessed with the entertainment business but could only see herself in roles where the kid looked like her- aka Jennifer Love Hewitt and Fergie from Kids Incorporated, Lacey Chabert from Party of Five, and Britney Spears. She took dance classes, played on the boys baseball team, and skipped third grade. She also said she competed on pageants for Hawaiian Tropics (ed:this was in the early life section- do they even have a kids competition for that pageant, bro????). Raul came around after she turned 2. He went to her sacraments in church, graduations, and a few bday parties. Says early life was good for her. Chapter 2 Scheana struggled at school with not feeling Mexican enough to fit in but also not feeling like she fit in with her two blonde parents (Ed- kids are fucking mean so I can see this. I was a blonde native kid and kids used to do the tomahawk chop towards me to make me cry). They called her white girl in a demeaning way. She wore long acrylic nails to school and lip liner and penciled in eyebrows. Her cousin got her a pager and people would send her nasty messages like “Die Hoe”. She never told her parents about the middle school bullying. Her mom had a miscarriage before Coco was born and the resulting trauma caused Scheana to believe she had to be perfect in order to save her mom the stress of worrying. She was threatened by a girl who was jealous that a boy liked Scheana and almost got in a fight. Even though no one was hit, she was suspended. However, she DID punch that girl later on and gave her a black eye. 🚨🚨🚨🚨 first mention of any cast member and it’s Rachel Leviss! “Yes,that’s the ONLY black eye I’ve ever given someone, despite what Rachel Leviss claims” (p15). Scheana went to a private Catholic high school where she was among the poor students and stuck out bc she wore the “wrong uniform” (ed- did I mention I also went to an all girls Catholic high school and was among the poorer students?? I get where she’s coming from wanting to fit in instead of standing out for weird things a kid has no control over). Scheana worked at Ralph’s for a couple weeks until she was fired for distracting the boys. (Ed- Oh Boy, I’m seeing a pattern here. Wherever she goes alllll the booooys loooovveee Scheana. She can’t help it! 😂). She became a hype girl at a speedway for car races. She met 🎤Kid Rock, Dante and Dion Basco, and Rick Gonzalez. She was a seat filler for teen choice awards and met 🎤Usher. She also mentions meeting 🎤Nellie last year. (Ed- Oh Scheana! You dropped so many names and we are still only in chapter 2!!!!!). She mentions Shay in page 18. Both how they met and carpooled together to school, and how they reconnected later on and reminisced about him meeting her grandpa. She dated a guy three years older than her from 14-20 and Ron was not happy about it. Then she confesses to having cheated bc she felt like he was giving more attention to the fire academy than her. She expresses regret. Chapter 3-🦉🦉 TRIGGER WARNING- SEXUAL EXPLOITATION CASE Scheana was 21 and going to a Christian university in Azusa for broadcast journalism. She was a waitress at a golf course (Ed:Good as Golf anyone?). She met a member’s son who worked for MTV and he got her on as an extra for 🎤Wade Robson’s dance party. She This is Scheana’s take on her Hooters experience. It is a sensitive but non-physically violent experience. Read at your own caution. No editorializing on my part for the rest of this chapter. Scheana wanted to work somewhere she could make better wages, so she applied to Hooters. The restaurant was in process of being built and the management team was working out of a trailer on the construction site. The hiring manager took her application and initial interview and then asked her to come back at 6:15pm to try on the outfit. She thought it was strange but went forward anyway. He had he change in a specific area of the trailer, which she again thought was weird but she did it anyway. He hired her in the spot. A few weeks later the police came to her home and informed her she’d been taped changing along with a dozen other girls and young women. Like 17. So Scheana heard from her uncle that Gloria Allred was representing some of the other women and she reached out. She thought it’s be good for her broadcast journalism career to learn how to speak with the media. She ended up the face of the “Hooters” girls. the perpetrator plead no contest and was sentenced to five years in prison. The victims received financial compensation. But Scheana felt deep shame both of the incident and dismissing her gut instincts, and over her participation in the patriarchy and a system that degrades women through objectification. I’ll be back with the next few chapters in a bit. It’s hard to read a book where life is always happening TO someone and they don’t recognize how their behaviors contribute to so many women wanting to slap them across the face. Chapter 4- Eddie The year is 2006. Scheana has just graduated college. She is struggling with her OCD after her grandparents all die within 15 months of each other, her uncle dies, and her bff from middle school. She had intrusive thoughts about losing her mom. Anyway, immediately left turn into working at a cigar club and meeting 🎤Eddie Cibrian. She was a waitress. He was a working actor. He didn’t wear a ring and she didn’t ask (Ed: there is a lot of justifications and wide-eyes ‘but I didn’t have access to an internet in my phone’ as to how she didn’t know he was married but like I grew up in Omaha Nebraska and knew he was married bc of tabloids while standing in line at the supermarket. I can’t buy any of what she’s selling here. See also Lala saying she didn’t know what a casting couch was- okay lady🙄). She went to Les Deux with him. She was also dating 🎤Jesse Metcalf. She spent her 22 birthday sober bc Jesse was sober. He let her pick out her gift and she chose Marc Jacob’s sunglasses. They hung out at home and he would serenade her. And then he pulled away so she went back to Eddie. He took her to “his” (ed: Brandi’s) cabin. He and his best friend helped her move apartments. They always hung out at her place. Finally after multiple people told her he was married, she finally believed it seeing Brandi pregnant in the newspaper. Eddie told her how much he enjoyed hanging out with her. She took six months off the affair. She started right back up with him when she came back to serving the Tuesday night crowd. He used every cheating husband cliche to convince her she was special and his marriage was over. He bought her diamond studs as an “I’m sorry” gift (Ed: young women can be so naive and dumb. Thank god for frontal lobe development)! He took her snowboarding in Mammoth. Enter LeAnn (pg 38). She called him while Scheana’s and Eddie were in the hot tub in mammoth (Ed: when his pregnant wife was at home alone with their other kid). Scheana mentions how BETRAYED SHE FELT when finding out Eddie was cheating on her with LeAnn (Ed: I can’t believe she’s 40 and still trying to play the sympathy card as the mistress of a man with many many mistresses. Gross). She realized from her own high school cheating experience that she would never do it again. She also felt like an idiot for not trusting her gut instincts again. So she decided to get revenge by tipping off the tabloids about her and Eddie (Ed: grooooossssss! So selfish). So then LeAnn was mad that Eddie cheated on her with Scheana (Ed: but neither of them once considered the woman pregnant with his second kid), so Eddie asked Scheana to sign a document saying he had never cheated in LeAnn with Scheana (Ed: convenient that she doesn’t mention how much she was paid to sign that document). She then apologizes to Brandi and her sons and takes a full accounting of why what she did was wrong (Ed: I was pleasantly surprised as the simplicity of the apology). But to distract herself, Scheana went to 🎤John Mayer’s house for a threesome (after he’d just dumped Jennifer Aniston) and they were casually hooking up for six months after that! After he got grossed out by her friend outing their relationship, he ghosted her. So she left the cigar lounge and started at Villa Blanca, which is why she says that if she hadn’t hooked up with John than VPR wouldn’t exist. Chapter 5- all the celebs Scheana fucked before getting back with Michael Shay 🎤Eddie, Jesse, John Mayer, Shemar Moore, Josh Hopkins, JC Chasez, Shane West, Jesse McCartney, Adrian Grenier, Ricardo Chavez , William Tell (Ed: LC is gonna be mad), and some NFl,NBA, and MLB players. Then she dated a normie who cheated on her which made her revenge him by going to Vegas where she re-met Michael Shay (Ed: AKA the only man to truly love Scheana). Scheana calls herself “such a whiskey girl”. The normie before Shay saw them together and immediately called herself begging for another chance. She told him no and a week later he killed himself. Scheana talks through a “dream she had” where he was saying it was a mistake, that’s he changed his mind too late, and he gave her a hug. She had kept an old Hershey’s chocolate sauce bottle and moved it from apartment to apartment to house to house until her mom threw it out which devastated Scheana. Bc it was the only thing left she had of Collin. Oh and every year on his bday she takes a shot for him. Bc she FORGIVES HIMMMMMMM!!!!! Chapter 6 Pizza girl. It’s about her appearances on a couple Disney shows and interacting with 🎤 Joe and Nick Jonas and with 🎤Ariana Grande on victorious. Scheana appeared in a couple episodes of The Hill’s as a friend of Stacie the bartender. Heidi apologized for having to be mean and for calling Scheana and Stacie whores and sluts”. Heidi said she had to do it for the show. Scheana started at Villa Blanca and immediately became friendly with Pandora. She messed up Ken’s order and was afraid she’d be fired. The Vanderpump Tods are particular with their wants. Like how LVP likes half a glass of Rose but she drink multiple glasses (Ed: was that an observation? Or a judgement on LVPs drinking?). Scheana shouts out 🎤 Tyler Perry as being an excellent tipper; he tips 40% of the bill! LVP was cast on RHOBH and the staff was scared she’d become a tyrant bc she was already so exacting with her demands, but they were pleasantly surprised she was much softer. 🚨🚨🚨 Second cast member mentioned and it’s Tom Sandoval (pg 58- oh god so much more to go 😭). They had similar interests including wanting to be in dancing with the stars. Ooops! Scheana dropped some names in the floor- she bartended for 🎤Dustin Hoffman, Priscilla Presley, Sharon Stone, Ray Liotta, LaToya Jackson, and Stevie Wonder. (Ed: I wish she’d tell actual stories instead of just name dropping. Yes, Scheana I met MC Hammer at an airport but he’s not in my imaginary biography)! She could make up to $1400 a shift, which was her monthly rent. They would party every night at VB , and she even smoked pot behind the counter with 🚨🚨🚨 Third cast member- Ariana (p 59). Life was fun and then she was asked to moonlight for the opening of the new SUR lounge. She was excited but nervous she’d end up in RHOBH. Immediately Scheana spotted Brandi and announced that it was her ex-boyfriend’s wife. Tina told her to go over and “make good tv”. LVP made her tray pass to the group Brandi was part of. Once Brandi recognized Scheana, LVP made her go home. On her way out, she met 🚨🚨🚨Stassi whom she liked and thought would give her some comfort. But once Scheana shared the details, Stassi was DISGUSTED and expressed as much. Stassi shared what Scheana said to the rest of the SUR staff and then Scheana said it made her feel bullied like in middle school. The news of the spinoff went through the restaurant and when Scheana was selected she went and got fresh Botox so no one would accuse her of getting work done later on and says if she had a plastic surgeon, she would advertise him openly (ed: guuuuuurl 🙄). Says she was LVPs favorite since the beginning of her employment bc Scheana’s a people please. Scheana felt like she couldn’t please LVP. Scheana admits she picked fights with the other girls thinking it was good tv and they’d bounce back into a friendly rapport later on. LVP often called her in the mornings to “tutor” her. She didn’t get these calls after she stood behind 🚨🚨🚨Katie (p64) after 🚨🚨🚨🚨James (p64) called Katie fact during pride. LVP wanted Scheana to support James so she wouldn’t have to fire him. LVP would indirectly ask (ed: sounds like Scheana is saying LVP manipulated her without being direct) to tweet in support of LVP (a housewife said LVP reeks of cigarettes). Scheana moved full time to SUR and calls Stassi, Katie, and 🚨🚨🚨Kristin mean girls for calling her a home wrecking whore (p 65). The mean girl behavior consisted of giving her the worst side work assignments, and not being friends with her (ed: again she says words but never tells any stories to back it up. Scheana seems mad that they didn’t want to be friends with her bc she asked for sympathy for being a scorned mistress. She seems ashamed of herself. And instead of dealing with it, she put herself as the victim). “Having my coworkers hate me for what I felt like no reason was very isolating “(p 65). But then Scheana went to perform at the Roxy, and saw Katie and Kristin cheering her on! She saw Stassi crying and extended an olive branch and they became friendly. She talks about how the mean girls wanted to ice her out to have her kicked off the show, but it gave her job security. Scheana decided to convince Ariana to join. She admits Tom and Ariana fit together better than Tom and Kristen and everyone knew it. Chapter 7- the Vow This is about Scheana and Shay. It boils down to she enjoyed his company and was too comfortable to break off their relationship. She ignored his over drinking. She ignored his lack of ambition. She would have had Katie in the wedding party, but they couldn’t get a dress on time. The wedding song issue (“I can’t help falling in love”en francais)- someone cued Tina in too soon and so the line “Take my hand” didn’t line up with Scheana’s dad taking her LITERAL hand. And that’s why the temper tantrum occurred. Scheana admits to taking Vicodin and drinking beer for a buzz (ed: insert picture of that toddler in the backseat of the car with the bunny teeth, and side eye for the exact face I made). Shay once took pills and got so blackout drunk he tried to walk home from Villa Blanca. They lived nowhere NEAR VB. Tom Sandoval said he’d given Shay an adderall before the wedding but he ACTUALLY GAVE SHAY ECSTASY!!!!!!! Shay stole Scheana’s Vicodin after dental surgery. He also stole meds from her dad and that’s when Ericka told her to wake up! Shay DMd with was BBW model (ed: Scheana- did you really need to shame Shay and shade the model for being 340lbish???). He also DMd with a cute punk girl aka “you on top of me”. Shay became erratic and Scheana became more and more anxious. He drained 6k from the joint account. Jax made Scheana cry during the s5 premiere party at Kristin’s. Scheana retorted that Brittany was too good for Jax and he said at least she hadn’t left him like Shay left Scheana. Shay thought he was coming home to film a reconciliation scene and she surprised him by telling him they were divorcing. She mentions being sad she couldn’t go to his mother’s funeral in 2023 bc of the VPR reunion. Chapter 8- ROB, ROB, ROOOOOOOOOOOB Scheana met Rob during her Jesse Metcalf days. Their first date was at Disneyland. She said she wanted to kiss him the whole day but he pulled away waiting for a special moment. Rob playing hard to get was his main appeal. She said he wouldnt commit, so they broke up and she shortly reconnected with Shay. She mentions thinking about Rob on her wedding day and what could have been. Once she dumped Shay, she immediately started fucking Rob. She admits to being obsessed and diving in head first. Against his concerns about editing he decided to do VPR. They had business plans. She was going to cohost his entertainment show. But then the conversation about Toca Madera happened on camera. Rob was with 🎤Jake Pavelka when Scheana told him about it and he blew up screaming at her. They rebounded and made it through the end of s6. They even continued to take business meetings together, once at the Mondrian which is where she met 🚨🚨🚨Janet Caperna. They bonded over leaving their marriages. Shortly after filming ended, on the day of his final fantasy draft, Rob ended the relationship. She called him stupid for dumping her the day before a girls trip to Atlanta for Brittany. She then continued to sleep with him for four months after he dumped her (Ed: I’m so thankful I had access to therapy in my twenties. I’m not so dissimilar in my struggles for connection and love like Scheana. I really hope her OCD specialist is helping her to learn she’s valuable just for existing). She also slept with three bachelor nation contestants. The fourth dumped her for a stripper. She used her partying with them in Vegas to fight with Rob about his commitment issues; she points out he is 42 and still single (Ed: dollars to donuts she still tracks his location). However partying in vegas with 🎤Kendra Wilkinson and 🎤Jai Rodriguez introduced her to producers of a show and she brokered a deal to take over after Kendra finished. She was approved by VPR for the three month run. It was what she needed to get a fresh start. At the end of the run, she moved into an apartment in Marian Del Rey that her mom found, and her new friend ,🚨🚨🚨Adam Spot, put her furniture together before she came home. She expresses regret for sleeping with Adam and ruing the relationship?ed: this is the only man she’s expressed regret for sleeping with. I don’t know what to make of it other than he might be the only man she’s actually cared about?). S7 made her worry she’d be demoted for s8 the way Kristen was. She was correct. Chapter 9 Jeremiah told her to be available for a call with Alex baskin before she was in WWHL with Andy Cohen. It spiked her anxiety because she’d heard Kristen remained demoted in s8. She called Alex and he confirmed she would be a day player instead of main cast. Her job was to bridge the world between the older cast members and a small group of younger staff. If she could do that, she’d be cast on both VPR and the spinoff which developed to what is now “the Valley”. Also, 🚨🚨 🚨 Carl Radke was in WWHL and spent the next day cheering her up. She was upset because she’d just purchased the Palm Springs house. She felt targeted bc she was a pushover. She opines that Stassi would have quit. LVP told her she was really counting in Scheana to help with the new cast. Scheana mentions being more bonded and friendly to 🚨🚨🚨Charli, bc Charli was half white- half Mexican like her. She disliked 🚨🚨🚨Dayna Kathan immediately. She was jealous of Dayna’s confidence. She was also “unaware “ that Dayna and Max were romantically involved when they went to Palm Springs and she gave him the “accidental” blowjob. But Max stopped her before they could have sex. Then Max told everyone that Scheana was the pursuer and he was the innocent penis. It upset Scheana that he played it as though he wasn’t a willing participant. When Dayna confronted Scheana about the situation, Scheana claims to have had a panic attack which is why she used her inhaler. She explained that she’d been demoted, she’d been replaced by Max, her career hadn’t been shown on camera while they featured Dayna’s comedy day one. Dayna and her came to a truce and even a friendship. Scheana also talks about her egg freezing journey and having to do it twice as the first time yielded fewer eggs than targeted. During s8 her hormones were everyone. Which is also when she brings up Brett, LVPs trainer and bar back at SUR. She had a shirt make out session with him and they agreed to pretend it didn’t happen. Scheana brings up the BPR editor that admitted to finding Scheana’s cringiest clips and stringing them together, aka- making it look like Scheana was hitting on Stassi’s 15 yr old brother. While Scheana was in-demoted for s9, she was re-demoted for s10. Chapter 10- Brock lied to Scheana three times when they initially started dating (Ed: this is humiliating for Brock that his wife is painting him as a liar from day one). They met at an after party Scheana was attending with a woman named DD that she was hooking up with. Brock initially hit on DD. The first lie was that he had a ticket to a music festival she was attending. At the festival he told her about his kids. Then they did the dirty dancing lift. Then he kissed her and she felt sparks. They went to a bar in San Diego with Max and played Good as Gold. That’s where people told Scheana to go spend time with Brock in the corner. They decided to go to another music festival where he arranged for the air bnb. At the air bnb they had ammmmmaaazing sex for the first time (Ed: she’s really painting the pic of just throwing him a bone bc she was bored and people pressed her into it). She realized he was missing a pinky finger and kept it to herself saying “I thought I was the awkward one” (Ed: WTF Scheana). Second lie was that a crocodile ate his fingers. Brock once flew to vegas to bring DD a jacket she wanted to wear for an event, bc Scheana told him how much DD wanted to wear it for her bday. She was making out with DD at the bday party. DD is the only woman Scheana’s hooked up with without a man being involved. Scheana says that Brock remembered that she always takes a shot for her friend that killed himself when she forgot, and chased her down with a bottle of Jameson to take said shot (Ed: I’m not saying this never happened, but I do feel like Collin- the friend who killed himself, and DD the tattooed girl lover don’t exist). They spent time going back and with from La to San Diego. He once picked her up from the airport in Australia and lifted her in the air (Ed: insert “sure Jan” meme as my reaction). Brock adopted Scheaner a koala. She met his mom and sister. Lie number three was he took her to Bali instead of heading home to the US. They became official and he almost ended the relationship over her making out with DD. She feels like Brock is STILL her person. Chapter 11 summer moooooooon Scheana wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom until she spoke with a fertility doctor who said her levels were extremely low for her age. She mentions having been on birth control for her heavy periods at 12. The first round of egg freezing yielded under a dozen mature eggs, and little side effects. The second round Scheana experienced nausea and hormone swings. She had 16 eggs and planned on trying for a third round alongside Ariana when whoooooopsie! Brock knocked Scheana up. Unfortunately, the pregnancy didn’t progress beyond five weeks (there was no yoke sac). She was heartbroken to have to wait and pass the tissue naturally at home. Brock was in San Diego setting up his gym. Scheana felt alone in Palm Springs. He was playing golf while she was at home alone. Scheana mentions Lala and Rand were in town and while Lala asked if she wanted company, Scheana said no. Later that evening, Scheana texted Lala for comfort but Lala was occupied with 🚨🚨🚨Megan Fox and 🚨🚨🚨Machine Gun Kelly. Lala asked if Scheana wanted to join them for dinner and she declined. The tissue didn’t pass so she had to have a d&c. Scheana felt shame and guilt as if she had caused this. She called the miscarries mind fuck. They decided to wait and NOt try to get pregnant the next month….until the next month came (Ed: and so did Brock. Hey-oooooohhhh)! Following his deposit, she didn’t smoke, drink, eat raw fish or soft cheese. Indeed she was pregnant with🚨🚨🚨 Summer Moon! While pregnant she kept stress levels low by doing acupuncture and reiki. James and Raquel were the most frequent visitors as Raquel became Scheana’s close friend. She was induced at 39 weeks. She spent fifteen hours laboring before being put on a magnesium drip due to high blood pressure. Scheana started shaking intensely and Summer Moon’s heart rate started to drop. She felt selfish for inducing to be able to film s9 of VPR. She said that the doctors were able to catch her before becoming preeclamptic and having a stroke. She counted the seconds of silence before SM started crying- 45 secs. Afterwards, Scheana found out that she was suffering from HELLP syndrome. She spent five days at the hospital and only had three days home Before filming began. Chapter 12 Scheana is unlikely to carry her next child due to the trauma of childbirth. She’s open to adoption and surrogacy. Scheana talks about becoming friends with Lala and bonding over their daughters. It was during a trip to San Diego where Scheana blurted out an intrusive thought about SM choking. Lala reminded Scheana they’d taken CPR. They became safe spaces for each other. Lala seemed like a good mom to Scheana and it heightened Scheana’s anxiety about SM’s health and safety. Lala told Scheana that Ocean choked in a piece of fruit and Scheana reacted by cutting SM’s food into tiny mush chunks. Scheana went to her doctor and then a therapist who informed her about Post Partum OCD. She talks in depth about keeping her instagram at a certain number and deleting people if she was over (420)(Ed: fucking nerd). CBT was not helping therapy wise so she started EMDR. Scheana started exposure therapy like following as many people as she wanted in instagram, listening to tv at the volume she wanted, and taking SM to Disneyland. She said using the fast passes helped her manage the stress of dealing with the lines and SM. Scheana is now part of the International OCD Foundation. Chapter 13 Scheana talks about the proposal that we saw on s9. She recaps what happened on the show (Brock went to Lala and Randall for a surprise movie screening/wedding). She mentions that Brock didn’t want to overshadow James and Raquel’s engagement party, so he did a quiet proposal at home. Scheana recaps what happened in the s9 finale. She says they were in Solvang (ed: I thought they were in Santa Ynez). She mentions waking up feeling like they shouldn’t sneak away to get married (ed: ON CAMERA!!!! They always made it seem like it would be an elopement. I guess I never realized she wanted it on the show. Scheana……so selfish). Scheana says in the moment they thought the cast was happy for them but later when watching their interviews she was upset they acted disgusted with her tackiness (Ed: Scheana- bc it was WRONG and you put them all in an uncomfortable position. What a weird way to behave at 35). She said she felt “taken advantage of” by their reactions (ed: SCHEANA!!!! So. Fucking. Self centered). Scheana said that Lala and her faked the fight at the engagement party to take the heat off of Lala being pressured to tell James about Scheana’s (Ed: rude ass) behavior. Editorial- THIS BITCH IS THE MEANEST GIRL I HAVE EVER MET!!! How daaaaaare Scheana talk about Katie’s drinking. I’m quoting this directly bc of how she tries to pull Katie into the fray. If I were Katie I wouldn’t address it or say anything if Scheana is brought up. It’s giving “no comment” or “who” to me. “Predictably, Katie was into it, too, as she was always game to pick a fight with me. Everyone was happy. That was until Katie got overserved and couldn’t see straight. I swear if someone had asked her, she probably couldn’t even remember her name. I knew there was no way she was going to be able to pull things off and get her points across “. (P 160). Scheana says production wanted to get her wedding on camera for s10 so she and Brock decided to go to the courthouse and secretly get married. They filmed the whole thing in case VPR needed it and sold access to it on Patreon. Scheana thought she had job security but she was demoted for s10. She says it’s bc she was living in San Diego and Rachel was living in her LA apartment. Production said they didn’t care to have Brock around. Scheana dropped back to a day rate + 5%. She feels the show only recognized her value when she was beaten down. She recaps what was shown on the wedding episodes of S10 VPR. She adds that her wedding dress designer’s wife saw Tom and Rachel kissing by the elevator. She assumed it was Schwartz. She goes in on Katie not giving her room up bc Katie believed she “deserved a vacation” but had blocked Scheana from the Havasu trip (Ed: Scheana sounds so jealous of Katie’s lack of fucks to give). She says she realizes now that Katie was suffering from her divorce. Chapter 14 Scandoval hits. Scheana recognizes she not a good judge of character. She says her mom taught her to give people the benefit of the doubt. During s10 when the rumors about Tom and Rachel began, she thought Lala and Katie were overreacting. Rachel had told Scheana ache was into Schwartz to cover her affair with Tom. Schwartz and Rachel even discussed being each other’s NYE kiss, but when it came time, Schwartz hid in the bathroom to avoid her. Ariana wanted to go home and celebrate with just Tom as New Year’s Day was their anniversary. Tom suggested everyone come over to their house. Rachel and Tom continued to act inappropriately even in front of Ariana who confronted the pair with them denying. At one point Rachel and Scheana were taking dance classes and went to Dinner where Scheana pressed on the relationship. Rachel said nothing had happened, not even a kiss. She said Tom was her best friend, that he wanted to leave Ariana, but Ariana threatened to kill herself. Scheana asked if Rachel was in love with Sandoval and she just smiled. Scheana went home Brock yelled at her for thinking the worst of her friends. Scheana announced that Sandoval was her closest man friend. Scheana blamed Katie and Lala and Brock said they should Fuck themselves. She had lunch with Ariana and brought up Tom and Rachel and Ariana rolled her eyes and said “these girls won’t stay out of my relationship”. She told Scheana they’d been having more sex and things were really good between them. It was at this time when Rachel stopped sharing her location. Scheana confronted Sandoval outside of Tom Tom and he denied, yelling at Scheana that Rachel was like his little sister (Ed: thank god Sandoval has a brother). 🎤 Nema from Shahs of sunset told Rachel her energy was off. Then Rachel and Scheana went to NYC for press. Rachel blurted out Sandoval during a WWHL game about which Tom was hotter. Afterwards they went to a bar with some bravo friends. Rachel was wasted. She came out of the bathroom and Scheana could hear Ariana crying on the phone so she routed Rachel to privacy. Rachel admitted “Sandoval and I have been having an affair for seven months. Ariana just found out” (p 180). Scheana took Rachel’s phone and told Ariana she was sorry and didn’t want this to be true. Scheana was sobbing while Rachel stood there stone faced and blinking. Scheana screamed and threw Rachel’s phone in the street. Scheana screamed “how could you do this” and Rachel grabbed her wrist and whispered I’m sorry. Scheana pushed her, then Rachel came Back towards her so she pushed her again and yell that she couldn’t believe how disgusting Rachel was. Scheana’s friends overheard Rachel Talking to someone at the hotel saying Scheana reacted reasonably. Her story changed to assault after she spoke to Sandoval. Chapter 15 Scheana made more money during the Scandoval episode than her wedding episodes. She felt like an integral piece of the plot. She was worried that Rachel was spreading her side of being “pushed” to other people. Mutual friends said she’d never get legal involved, but she changed her mind after employing a crisis PR team. Scheana calls it reputation rehab and says the first step was revealing Sandoval taped an intimate moment without consent. All of the cast were sent cease and desists to their personal emails, instead of sending them to the cast’s representatives. Next Rachel went to a doctor to document her injuries , four days after the incident and in LA versus NYC where the incident occurred. Rachel claimed to TMZ that Scheana gave her a black eye and permanent scar. Scheana started getting panicky and upset and SM followed in her mother’s footsteps. Ariana and friends were heading to Mexico for her friend’s wedding and wanted to hide out at Scheana’s in Marina Del Rey, but the paparazzi was following them. They had to run through the neighborhood to sneak them through the side doors. Scheana talks about hiring a lawyer to deal with Rachel. They went back and forth negotiating a settlement, but Rachel’s attorneys decided to release a statement about Scheana not agreeing to their terms. Then there was the negotiation regarding the reunion. Scheana didn’t want to miss it bc it’s a third of her paycheck for the season. Rachel didnt want to attend at all. Supposedly Sandoval called Scheana and said that Rachel was in a Britney Soears situation with her family and then had confiscated her phone, but wanted to Let you know they might have video of you hitting Rachel”. Scheana was livid at him and wanted a video to exist to prove her innocence. ED- much like the Katie slandering, I’m gonna put this section in verbatim. If I were Ariana, I would no comment Scheana’s name. How dare she ask her friend, the person most impacted by the affair to read her mind about why Scheana was under 110lbs. This was while Ariana was having her world turned upside down and trying to survive. Shame on Scheana for shitting on Ariana for not being there for HER during Ariana’s nightmare reality. She has no sympathy at all and her compliments are obvious and hollow. “In the moment, a line was drawn in the sand, and my loyalty was to Ariana. Unfortunately, siding with Ariana didn’t ultimately preserve our friendship. In the months leading into season eleven, Ariana’s star rose as the world rallied around her postscandal, and a little distance emerged in our friendship. She’s not great at multitasking, and she was being pulled in a million different directions. Still, throughout this time, I was living in my own personal hell and I desperately wanted my best friend, my ride-or-die throughout ten seasons of VPR plus the two years prior serving up Big Pinkys at Villa Blanca together, to notice and ask what was wrong. She never did, and she still doesn’t know that my world came to a screeching halt shortly after hers did, for more reasons than Raquel’s restraining order. No matter how much distance has emerged, the love is always there. I will continue to support Ariana in everything she does and will always be cheering for her. She’s an enormously talented person, and I’m so proud of her. When I saw her play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway, I cried tears of joy. She was amazing. After seeing her at her lowest, I’m thrilled that she was able to turn such a dark period in her life into so much light and success.” (P 194). Scheana then brings up how LVP was worried about Sandoval killing himself. Sheena said that no matter what he did, his crimes didn’t muster up to the death penalty. She didn’t think that being kind to Tom Sandoval would lead to Ariana and her no longer being friends. She’s choosing to stay cordial with Sandoval, despite him suing Ariana and continuing to badmouth her. She also said LVP and her relationship diminished because Scheana took a picture with Kyle Richard’s at a Christmas party. Chapter 16 This is the Brock cheating scandal. There were multiple blind items about him. He was scared the real story would leak- he cheated on Scheana while she was pregnant. She was so angry she threw a Rubik’s cube at him. He slept on the couch a few nights. She called his sister to scold him first, then her publicist, then took care of her lashes bc she had an appointment the next day, then to her mom to cancel babysitting. She went to Coachella with Brock, Ariana, Dan and friends. At some point Dayna and Scheana made out and Brock was outraged. Scheana said she was in revenge mode and it made her feel bad to make HIM feel bad. Scheana also starved herself into being under 110lbs bc she was so upset. Ed: I give up on trying to summarize the worst thing she could say about her friend Ariana during the worst period of her adult life. I’m going to put it in verbatim. It’s so gross and rude to diminish what your friend is going through. Ariana is in multiple lawsuits with Tom. And isn’t this YOU PUTTING BRICK ON BLAST?!?!? “People have said I was jealous of Ariana because she was on Dancing with the Stars and had all these amazing opportunities presented to her. But the only time during the Scandoval saga that I even got close to a feeling of envy for Ariana was related to the fact that she got to put Tom’s affair behind her without a legal union to dissolve or child to consider. While I never wanted to compare traumas, and our circumstances were different, I did resent that it couldn’t be so clean-cut for me. And as much as I wanted to put Brock on blast and feel supported during that dark time, this was Summer’s father—not just my husband” (p 203). Scheana says her ghostwriter submitted the blind items, had a mental health crisis, and quit. “Ariana had always been my person, my vault, the one who knew me so well that she could detect when something was off first—and vice versa. It surprised me that she never even noticed how stressed and sad I was. I feel like if she would’ve inquired, I would’ve opened up and trusted her. But I didn’t want to burden her with my family problems as she was going through enough on her own. A part of me also worried that if I did choose to open up about it then, that it would come off as opportunistic, like I was crafting a publicity stunt to elicit the support and opportunities that Ariana was receiving” (p 207) Ed- How is it that she really can put herself as the center of every experience? Chapter 17 Scheana worries about Brock leaving her if she won’t give him another kid. She worries no relationship will last. She worries about Summer Moon and not being a good enough mom. She worries about SM developing OCD. She was disappointed she was sent home on the first night of the Masked Singer. She said LVP set her up to build her empire and she had been afraid “Scheana with the connection to Eddie wouldn’t participate “ (p 221). And it’s done. submitted by /u/Narrow_Grapefruit_23 to r/vanderpumprules [link] [comments]
Narrow_Grapefruit_23 · Jul 22, 2025
All threads (23)
Thread Source Author Date
RE:All Fun And Games (GMod OC x Project Moon)
...seriousness most people reserved for surgery. Rien, meanwhile, was reading something...Rien, I began spawning various foods ranging from vegetables and meat. ... were discussing a failed surgery instead of whatever this Discord... multiple&quot; Albina made a soft sound that might have been ...that one. &quot;So,&quot; I said after a minute, mostly because the ... and I hissed through my teeth. &quot;Dude!&quot; I snapped. &quot;What is ...
forums.spacebattles.com Man-of-Nature May 15, 2026
Sore teeth one month after surgery
Hi, I had my gallbladder removed a month ago. Since then, my teeth are very sensitive. Anything sweet hurts my teeth. Soft foods make them uncomfortable as well. Has anyone experienced this? If so, how long did it last? At first I thought maybe it was acid/the breathing tube. I don’t feel like I get heartburn or acid reflux. I’m using Sensodine tooth and gum toothpaste. It’s not helping. I have a dentist appointment this fall and I’m considering moving it up. Thanks! submitted by /u/SouthernCategory9600 to r/gallbladders [link] [comments]
r/gallbladders SouthernCategory9600 Jul 3, 2026
I want others to know he existed.
This is blue. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago I was on my way home from the grocery store and I saw this little guy standing on the side of the dirt road that I live on. I live in the middle of nowhere so I knew he was obviously dumped. I stopped and tried to get him to come to me and he ran off into the woods. So, I came home and got some dog food and some water and went back out. As soon as I opened the can of dog food he came right up to it and started eating. I could tell the poor baby was full of worms. So I reached out my hand and said very softly, "please let me touch you and don't bite me". He did not even flinch, just finished eating. I then poured him a bowl full of water and he drank the whole thing and looked up at me with those beautiful sad eyes. I put a leash around his neck and tugged and he just flattened to the ground so I knew I was not going to get him in the car using a leash. I sat with him for a little while and scratched his head and talked to him. Told him who I was and that I rescue and foster animals and if he would let me pick him up and put him in the car I promised he would never be hungry, thirsty or scared again. I reached down and picked him right up. Never a growl or showing of his teeth or anything. Got him home and gave him a good bath, picked a bunch of fleas and ticks off of him, fixed him a nice soft bed and gave him another big meal. The next day I took him up to the Humane Society where he was vaccinated, treated for fleas and ticks and given dewormer. The next morning I noticed there was a spot under his neck that was swollen. Our Humane Society is on an intake hold because we are out of money and out of fosters. But, I was not going to put him back where I found him and I was certainly not going to let him suffer. Two of our volunteers work at a vet's office so I took him there the next morning and said I will pay for whatever I have to out of my pocket. Turned out it was an abscess on his neck so they drained it and gave him pain medication and an antibiotic and I brought him home. He was 5 months old. Full of worms just like I suspected but we got rid of all of those. Took him the following Monday to be neutered, rabies shot and microchip so he would be ready for adoption. But the whole time I had him he was very shy and very timid. As long as I was sitting down next to him he was fine but the minute I would stand up he would cower down. I could not speak loudly or clap my hands. He would come to me sometimes but I could not get him to walk with me. He would follow me but he would always stay about 6 ft behind me. I tried to get him to play with toys and he had no idea what they were. He just laid there all the time looking sad. He got the Zoomies one time after a bath but they lasted for seconds and then he stopped himself and cowered down and looked up at me. Another time I threw the ball and got no reaction. So I ran and got it and brought it back. I did that several times and on the 4th or fifth time I threw it he went and got it! He picked it up and he threw it up in the air, caught it and went to throw it in the air again and then he just dropped it and coward to the ground. That let me know not only was he neglected and dumped but he was obviously abused every time he started to act like a puppy. That broke my heart. After having the abscess drained he had a fever and was on an antibiotic. When he got neutered he was still running a fever so the Humane Society vet prescribed him another week of antibiotics. But, I just kept having this feeling that something was not right. I had never seen a five month old puppy that just did nothing. And his fever would not go away. So, I got up this morning and took him back to the vet. He had stopped eating, drinking or moving. And he was sweating and when I picked him up I realized he had been peeing in his bed. Now this whole time there was never a whimper or a cry or anything. They did blood work and x-rays and called me and said they thought he had a blockage and they needed to do exploratory surgery and it was going to cost $1,200 just for the exploratory surgery. Then of course if they found anything it was going to be more money on top of that. Our Humane Society is out of money and I just don't have access to that kind of money right now. I asked if we could wait until Monday because I was going to try to raise the funds. The vet said we have got to find out what's wrong because with the shape he is in he will not last until monday. I had to make the unfortunate decision to let them go ahead and euthanize him. I felt so horrible for that. That money had stopped me from being able to save this 5-month-old puppy. Then a few hours later I got a call from the vet. They had decided to do an autopsy to see what was going on. While this baby was dumped out in those woods he apparently ate something while he was scrounging for food and whatever it was he could not digest and it punctured his stomach and part of his stomach had gone necrotic and died and he was septic. So, there was no amount of money in the world that could have saved him. That does not make this any easier at all. I hope the person that dumped him dies a slow and painful death. I just want Blue to be remembered for the amazing puppy that he was and the incredible dog he could have grown up to be. He did not deserve what happened to him. I can only hope that the two and a half weeks of fierce and unconditional love that I gave him made up for the first 5 months of his life. submitted by /u/kppsmom to r/FosterAnimals [link] [comments]
r/FosterAnimals kppsmom Jul 3, 2026
13yr old Swayze is on euthanasia risk at anytime as of 5/23 🚨 NCY Shelter 🚨
Please Comment share pledge foster adopt rescue https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17eUQJZePE/?mibextid=wwXIfr **PRIORITY PLACEMENT—MEDICAL** Darling little cutie pie SWAYZE was found all alone in Brooklyn, trying his best to navigate the world with limited vision. Even so, this brave boy has tolerated gentle handling, and he’ll happily tell you that treats are the key to his heart. Sudden movements near his head can startle him because he simply can’t see well enough to understand what’s coming. Unfortunately, Swayze is in significant pain from his eye disease, and he’s also struggling with a few other medical concerns. His prognosis is good with proper diagnostics and treatment including an enucleation as soon as possible. This sweet, little soul deserves comfort and a soft place to land. If you can open your home and heart to him, please message our page today to apply to foster or adopt. Swayze will be coming off stray hold soon, and he needs his hero waiting. SWAYZE, ID 254256, 13 years old, 20 lbs., Male Queens ACC, Small mixed breed, Black/Gray Owner surrender reason: Date of Intake: 11-May-2026: Stray Behavior Assessment Rating: TBD No children under 13 Medical Behavior: tolerated basic handling, food motivated, tried to bite when head touched—he has limited vision—so he was muzzled for rest of exam. What my friends at ACC say about me: My history is a mystery and my friends here do not know much about me yet! I have medical needs that staff will address with you when you meet me. I love to be loved, but on my own terms! Let's brush up on some canine body language together! I would do best in a home with only adult humans. INTAKE NOTES—Date of Intake: 11-May-2026 OWNER SURRENDER NOTES—BASIC INFORMATION SWAYZE was found on Riverdale Drive and Snediker Avenue in Brooklyn 11207. BEHAVIOR NOTES: Date of Intake: 11-May-2026 Spay/neuter status: No Means of surrender: Length of time in previous home: stray SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES: COMING SOON BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: coming soon Recommendations: No children under 13 MEDICAL EXAM NOTES: 12-May-2026 Spay-Neuter Waiver Documentation Medical Notes: 10:30 AM [Spay/Neuter Waiver - Age] It is the policy of ACC not to perform surgery on any animal over the age of 8-10 years due to the higher risks incurred in a shelter setting. The veterinarian is hereby issuing a permanent spay/neuter waiver, from the spay/neuter requirements of the City of NY due to the estimated age of this animal. ACC does recommend you consult with your veterinarian to determine if surgical sterilization is appropriate. VET-P 992354 12-May-2026 DVM Intake Medical Notes: 10:41 AM DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: approx. 13yrs based on dentition/conformation Microchip noted on intake? scans negative History: Stray Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior - tolerated basic handling and was treat-motivated, tried to bite when head was touched, muzzled for remainder of exam and tasks Is there evidence of suspected cruelty? no Objective: P = 130 R = 24 BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes bilateral blepharospasm with OS large central corneal rupture and purulent discharge, does not menace consistently, OD injected sclera with exposure keratitis, clouded cornea and buphthalmia, ears clean, no nasal discharge noted Oral Exam: thick calculus covering remaining teeth with thickened and inflamed gingiva PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: slightly distended, non painful, no masses palpated U/G: MI; 2 testicles descended MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, dry hair coat, bilateral stifle crepitus, slightly overgrown nails CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Wood's Lamp Exam: not performed Assessment: Geriatric MI canine OS ruptured globe with end-stage changes OD buphthalmia with exposure keratitis, scleral injection and clouded cornea (r/o underlying KCS vs glaucoma vs other) Severe dental disease Slightly distended abdomen (r/o overweight vs organomegaly vs mass) Prognosis: good with additional diagnostics/treatment Plan: intake tasks CBC/Chem/T4 Start gabapentin 15mg/kg PO BID indefinitely Place in medical with signage to alert staff that he has limited vision DVM recheck tomorrow and review labs; plan to start topical Ofloxacin OU BID x 10 days if he will tolerate handling with pain meds on board Rec add-on additional pain medications including oral NSAID if labwork is WNL Rec enucleation OS as soon as possible after stray hold; may also need enucleation OD pending further work-up including tonometry once his pain is managed SURGERY: Permanent waiver due to age VET-P 992354 ************************************ * TO FOSTER / ADOPT * To foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog please PRIVATE MESSAGE our page at https://www.facebook.com/NYCDogsLivesmatter so we can assist and guide you through the process. PLEASE NOTE: To foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog you need to live within a prescribed range of New York City. States include: NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. If you are outside of this range, you have the option to “direct adopt” where you must go to the shelter “in person” to complete the adoption process. We can guide you through that process. NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters. Level 4 Dogs with Level 4 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters. It is suggested adopters have prior experience with the behaviors described. New Hope Rescue Only Dogs with this rating need to be pulled by a New Hope Partner Rescue. Contact our page or email us for assistance. submitted by /u/Icy_Bee_2752 to r/National_Pet_Adoption [link] [comments]
r/National_Pet_Adoption Icy_Bee_2752 May 23, 2026
Our cat dies after routine procedure…. 😞
Our cat, Kathy, was only 6 years old. We were told she had some type of oral issu that would cause her ongoing and continually worse pain. So we saved up the money, figured out a payment plan, and set the date for what we were told was a necessary and routine oral procedure. . Here’s what happened next: Kathy was given anesthesia, had 7 teeth extracted. We were called and told everything went fine, they wanted to keep her for a few hours, post anesthesia to make sure she’s ok. We picked her up 4 hours later at 7pm. Kathy seemed fine when she got home, she was def a little out of it, slight nasal decongestion , a little restless. This was all normal and we were told to expect her to be lethargic over next 24 hours+. At midnight she still seemed fine, gave her very little soft food with medicine. She slept on her bed and was checked on through the night. The following morning, Kathy still seemed ok, she was slightly more lethargic but was still moving around and showing affection through out the more. At 1:30pm , when she was going due for her pain meds - she seemed even more sleepy. After making some calls and reading, re-reading her paperwork we were confident that this was still normal and would just keep a closer eye on her. At 2:30 she was still in the same spot and seemed very lethargic. She allowed me to pick her right up (was not normal ) so we called the vet. They were closed and answering machine referred another hospital for emergencys. We rushed and put Kathy in her carrier and rushed to the animal hospital. We arrived and they brought her right back. We explained everything and approved them to complete blood tests/ x rays to see what’s going on. Almost immediately they said she was going down hill fast. At this point we started to come to terms that Kathy may not make it. Within 30 minutes we were told she was really suffering and agreed for her to be put down. We are heart broken. It all happened so fast. We thought we were doing the right thing for Kathy. We also paid a lot of money and no longer have our cat. We lost our other cat in 2024 , from old age and kidney disease. But we thought we had a few years at least left with Kathy. I’m not trying to put the place(s) on blast. They didn’t mean to purposefully hurt our cat. We’d like to think there a possibility of returning some of the cost. But I really just wanted to vent and share. Maybe we shouldn’t have had the original surgery, maybe we could have brought her to the ER sooner. Idk. I’m upset and sad that we lost our cat. RIP. Love you Kathy. Thanks for sharing some time with us. submitted by /u/Additional_Path_5435 to r/cats [link] [comments]
r/cats Additional_Path_5435 Aug 18, 2025
Best food to eat after wisdom teeth removal as well as advice
Feeling much better on day 10. I am able to eat and didn’t get dry socket thankfully. Here’s some food you can eat as well as overall advice all given to me by my doctor. Cologne is only there to cover private info. submitted by /u/XshouaX to r/wisdomteeth [link] [comments]
r/wisdomteeth XshouaX Aug 9, 2025
“My good side: A memoir” - Updates as I read
Im currently finishing chapter 17/17. So far I give it 2/5 Scheana’s Fab enchiladas 🌯🌯 Intro Scheana claims she’s a people please and a trailblazer and acknowledges the contradiction. First mention of 🎤John Mayer. Chapter 1 She was born in West Covina (Editorial: Jewel of the inland empire and 2hrs from the ocean/4 hrs with traffic for any Crazy Ex Girlfriend fans; Scheana is Valencia), but grew up in Azusa. Her mom was 18 and dating casually when she met Raul in Vegas. He was an emcee and they made a tiny little Scheana. But Ron, the other man Ericka was dating wanted to raise Scheana as his own, so he stepped up. Ron and Ericka didn’t get married until Scheana was in 5th grade. And they wouldn’t live together until they were married so Ericka and Scheana lived in their own in a small apartment while he lived in his family home which had 7 bedrooms (giant house). Editorial- this made me say huh???? How was Ron raising Scheana with Ericka when he wasn’t even staying with them? 11 years is a long time to date without cohabitation after you agree to raise a child together. Scheana was obsessed with the entertainment business but could only see herself in roles where the kid looked like her- aka Jennifer Love Hewitt and Fergie from Kids Incorporated, Lacey Chabert from Party of Five, and Britney Spears. She took dance classes, played on the boys baseball team, and skipped third grade. She also said she competed on pageants for Hawaiian Tropics (ed:this was in the early life section- do they even have a kids competition for that pageant, bro????). Raul came around after she turned 2. He went to her sacraments in church, graduations, and a few bday parties. Says early life was good for her. Chapter 2 Scheana struggled at school with not feeling Mexican enough to fit in but also not feeling like she fit in with her two blonde parents (Ed- kids are fucking mean so I can see this. I was a blonde native kid and kids used to do the tomahawk chop towards me to make me cry). They called her white girl in a demeaning way. She wore long acrylic nails to school and lip liner and penciled in eyebrows. Her cousin got her a pager and people would send her nasty messages like “Die Hoe”. She never told her parents about the middle school bullying. Her mom had a miscarriage before Coco was born and the resulting trauma caused Scheana to believe she had to be perfect in order to save her mom the stress of worrying. She was threatened by a girl who was jealous that a boy liked Scheana and almost got in a fight. Even though no one was hit, she was suspended. However, she DID punch that girl later on and gave her a black eye. 🚨🚨🚨🚨 first mention of any cast member and it’s Rachel Leviss! “Yes,that’s the ONLY black eye I’ve ever given someone, despite what Rachel Leviss claims” (p15). Scheana went to a private Catholic high school where she was among the poor students and stuck out bc she wore the “wrong uniform” (ed- did I mention I also went to an all girls Catholic high school and was among the poorer students?? I get where she’s coming from wanting to fit in instead of standing out for weird things a kid has no control over). Scheana worked at Ralph’s for a couple weeks until she was fired for distracting the boys. (Ed- Oh Boy, I’m seeing a pattern here. Wherever she goes alllll the booooys loooovveee Scheana. She can’t help it! 😂). She became a hype girl at a speedway for car races. She met 🎤Kid Rock, Dante and Dion Basco, and Rick Gonzalez. She was a seat filler for teen choice awards and met 🎤Usher. She also mentions meeting 🎤Nellie last year. (Ed- Oh Scheana! You dropped so many names and we are still only in chapter 2!!!!!). She mentions Shay in page 18. Both how they met and carpooled together to school, and how they reconnected later on and reminisced about him meeting her grandpa. She dated a guy three years older than her from 14-20 and Ron was not happy about it. Then she confesses to having cheated bc she felt like he was giving more attention to the fire academy than her. She expresses regret. Chapter 3-🦉🦉 TRIGGER WARNING- SEXUAL EXPLOITATION CASE Scheana was 21 and going to a Christian university in Azusa for broadcast journalism. She was a waitress at a golf course (Ed:Good as Golf anyone?). She met a member’s son who worked for MTV and he got her on as an extra for 🎤Wade Robson’s dance party. She This is Scheana’s take on her Hooters experience. It is a sensitive but non-physically violent experience. Read at your own caution. No editorializing on my part for the rest of this chapter. Scheana wanted to work somewhere she could make better wages, so she applied to Hooters. The restaurant was in process of being built and the management team was working out of a trailer on the construction site. The hiring manager took her application and initial interview and then asked her to come back at 6:15pm to try on the outfit. She thought it was strange but went forward anyway. He had he change in a specific area of the trailer, which she again thought was weird but she did it anyway. He hired her in the spot. A few weeks later the police came to her home and informed her she’d been taped changing along with a dozen other girls and young women. Like 17. So Scheana heard from her uncle that Gloria Allred was representing some of the other women and she reached out. She thought it’s be good for her broadcast journalism career to learn how to speak with the media. She ended up the face of the “Hooters” girls. the perpetrator plead no contest and was sentenced to five years in prison. The victims received financial compensation. But Scheana felt deep shame both of the incident and dismissing her gut instincts, and over her participation in the patriarchy and a system that degrades women through objectification. I’ll be back with the next few chapters in a bit. It’s hard to read a book where life is always happening TO someone and they don’t recognize how their behaviors contribute to so many women wanting to slap them across the face. Chapter 4- Eddie The year is 2006. Scheana has just graduated college. She is struggling with her OCD after her grandparents all die within 15 months of each other, her uncle dies, and her bff from middle school. She had intrusive thoughts about losing her mom. Anyway, immediately left turn into working at a cigar club and meeting 🎤Eddie Cibrian. She was a waitress. He was a working actor. He didn’t wear a ring and she didn’t ask (Ed: there is a lot of justifications and wide-eyes ‘but I didn’t have access to an internet in my phone’ as to how she didn’t know he was married but like I grew up in Omaha Nebraska and knew he was married bc of tabloids while standing in line at the supermarket. I can’t buy any of what she’s selling here. See also Lala saying she didn’t know what a casting couch was- okay lady🙄). She went to Les Deux with him. She was also dating 🎤Jesse Metcalf. She spent her 22 birthday sober bc Jesse was sober. He let her pick out her gift and she chose Marc Jacob’s sunglasses. They hung out at home and he would serenade her. And then he pulled away so she went back to Eddie. He took her to “his” (ed: Brandi’s) cabin. He and his best friend helped her move apartments. They always hung out at her place. Finally after multiple people told her he was married, she finally believed it seeing Brandi pregnant in the newspaper. Eddie told her how much he enjoyed hanging out with her. She took six months off the affair. She started right back up with him when she came back to serving the Tuesday night crowd. He used every cheating husband cliche to convince her she was special and his marriage was over. He bought her diamond studs as an “I’m sorry” gift (Ed: young women can be so naive and dumb. Thank god for frontal lobe development)! He took her snowboarding in Mammoth. Enter LeAnn (pg 38). She called him while Scheana’s and Eddie were in the hot tub in mammoth (Ed: when his pregnant wife was at home alone with their other kid). Scheana mentions how BETRAYED SHE FELT when finding out Eddie was cheating on her with LeAnn (Ed: I can’t believe she’s 40 and still trying to play the sympathy card as the mistress of a man with many many mistresses. Gross). She realized from her own high school cheating experience that she would never do it again. She also felt like an idiot for not trusting her gut instincts again. So she decided to get revenge by tipping off the tabloids about her and Eddie (Ed: grooooossssss! So selfish). So then LeAnn was mad that Eddie cheated on her with Scheana (Ed: but neither of them once considered the woman pregnant with his second kid), so Eddie asked Scheana to sign a document saying he had never cheated in LeAnn with Scheana (Ed: convenient that she doesn’t mention how much she was paid to sign that document). She then apologizes to Brandi and her sons and takes a full accounting of why what she did was wrong (Ed: I was pleasantly surprised as the simplicity of the apology). But to distract herself, Scheana went to 🎤John Mayer’s house for a threesome (after he’d just dumped Jennifer Aniston) and they were casually hooking up for six months after that! After he got grossed out by her friend outing their relationship, he ghosted her. So she left the cigar lounge and started at Villa Blanca, which is why she says that if she hadn’t hooked up with John than VPR wouldn’t exist. Chapter 5- all the celebs Scheana fucked before getting back with Michael Shay 🎤Eddie, Jesse, John Mayer, Shemar Moore, Josh Hopkins, JC Chasez, Shane West, Jesse McCartney, Adrian Grenier, Ricardo Chavez , William Tell (Ed: LC is gonna be mad), and some NFl,NBA, and MLB players. Then she dated a normie who cheated on her which made her revenge him by going to Vegas where she re-met Michael Shay (Ed: AKA the only man to truly love Scheana). Scheana calls herself “such a whiskey girl”. The normie before Shay saw them together and immediately called herself begging for another chance. She told him no and a week later he killed himself. Scheana talks through a “dream she had” where he was saying it was a mistake, that’s he changed his mind too late, and he gave her a hug. She had kept an old Hershey’s chocolate sauce bottle and moved it from apartment to apartment to house to house until her mom threw it out which devastated Scheana. Bc it was the only thing left she had of Collin. Oh and every year on his bday she takes a shot for him. Bc she FORGIVES HIMMMMMMM!!!!! Chapter 6 Pizza girl. It’s about her appearances on a couple Disney shows and interacting with 🎤 Joe and Nick Jonas and with 🎤Ariana Grande on victorious. Scheana appeared in a couple episodes of The Hill’s as a friend of Stacie the bartender. Heidi apologized for having to be mean and for calling Scheana and Stacie whores and sluts”. Heidi said she had to do it for the show. Scheana started at Villa Blanca and immediately became friendly with Pandora. She messed up Ken’s order and was afraid she’d be fired. The Vanderpump Tods are particular with their wants. Like how LVP likes half a glass of Rose but she drink multiple glasses (Ed: was that an observation? Or a judgement on LVPs drinking?). Scheana shouts out 🎤 Tyler Perry as being an excellent tipper; he tips 40% of the bill! LVP was cast on RHOBH and the staff was scared she’d become a tyrant bc she was already so exacting with her demands, but they were pleasantly surprised she was much softer. 🚨🚨🚨 Second cast member mentioned and it’s Tom Sandoval (pg 58- oh god so much more to go 😭). They had similar interests including wanting to be in dancing with the stars. Ooops! Scheana dropped some names in the floor- she bartended for 🎤Dustin Hoffman, Priscilla Presley, Sharon Stone, Ray Liotta, LaToya Jackson, and Stevie Wonder. (Ed: I wish she’d tell actual stories instead of just name dropping. Yes, Scheana I met MC Hammer at an airport but he’s not in my imaginary biography)! She could make up to $1400 a shift, which was her monthly rent. They would party every night at VB , and she even smoked pot behind the counter with 🚨🚨🚨 Third cast member- Ariana (p 59). Life was fun and then she was asked to moonlight for the opening of the new SUR lounge. She was excited but nervous she’d end up in RHOBH. Immediately Scheana spotted Brandi and announced that it was her ex-boyfriend’s wife. Tina told her to go over and “make good tv”. LVP made her tray pass to the group Brandi was part of. Once Brandi recognized Scheana, LVP made her go home. On her way out, she met 🚨🚨🚨Stassi whom she liked and thought would give her some comfort. But once Scheana shared the details, Stassi was DISGUSTED and expressed as much. Stassi shared what Scheana said to the rest of the SUR staff and then Scheana said it made her feel bullied like in middle school. The news of the spinoff went through the restaurant and when Scheana was selected she went and got fresh Botox so no one would accuse her of getting work done later on and says if she had a plastic surgeon, she would advertise him openly (ed: guuuuuurl 🙄). Says she was LVPs favorite since the beginning of her employment bc Scheana’s a people please. Scheana felt like she couldn’t please LVP. Scheana admits she picked fights with the other girls thinking it was good tv and they’d bounce back into a friendly rapport later on. LVP often called her in the mornings to “tutor” her. She didn’t get these calls after she stood behind 🚨🚨🚨Katie (p64) after 🚨🚨🚨🚨James (p64) called Katie fact during pride. LVP wanted Scheana to support James so she wouldn’t have to fire him. LVP would indirectly ask (ed: sounds like Scheana is saying LVP manipulated her without being direct) to tweet in support of LVP (a housewife said LVP reeks of cigarettes). Scheana moved full time to SUR and calls Stassi, Katie, and 🚨🚨🚨Kristin mean girls for calling her a home wrecking whore (p 65). The mean girl behavior consisted of giving her the worst side work assignments, and not being friends with her (ed: again she says words but never tells any stories to back it up. Scheana seems mad that they didn’t want to be friends with her bc she asked for sympathy for being a scorned mistress. She seems ashamed of herself. And instead of dealing with it, she put herself as the victim). “Having my coworkers hate me for what I felt like no reason was very isolating “(p 65). But then Scheana went to perform at the Roxy, and saw Katie and Kristin cheering her on! She saw Stassi crying and extended an olive branch and they became friendly. She talks about how the mean girls wanted to ice her out to have her kicked off the show, but it gave her job security. Scheana decided to convince Ariana to join. She admits Tom and Ariana fit together better than Tom and Kristen and everyone knew it. Chapter 7- the Vow This is about Scheana and Shay. It boils down to she enjoyed his company and was too comfortable to break off their relationship. She ignored his over drinking. She ignored his lack of ambition. She would have had Katie in the wedding party, but they couldn’t get a dress on time. The wedding song issue (“I can’t help falling in love”en francais)- someone cued Tina in too soon and so the line “Take my hand” didn’t line up with Scheana’s dad taking her LITERAL hand. And that’s why the temper tantrum occurred. Scheana admits to taking Vicodin and drinking beer for a buzz (ed: insert picture of that toddler in the backseat of the car with the bunny teeth, and side eye for the exact face I made). Shay once took pills and got so blackout drunk he tried to walk home from Villa Blanca. They lived nowhere NEAR VB. Tom Sandoval said he’d given Shay an adderall before the wedding but he ACTUALLY GAVE SHAY ECSTASY!!!!!!! Shay stole Scheana’s Vicodin after dental surgery. He also stole meds from her dad and that’s when Ericka told her to wake up! Shay DMd with was BBW model (ed: Scheana- did you really need to shame Shay and shade the model for being 340lbish???). He also DMd with a cute punk girl aka “you on top of me”. Shay became erratic and Scheana became more and more anxious. He drained 6k from the joint account. Jax made Scheana cry during the s5 premiere party at Kristin’s. Scheana retorted that Brittany was too good for Jax and he said at least she hadn’t left him like Shay left Scheana. Shay thought he was coming home to film a reconciliation scene and she surprised him by telling him they were divorcing. She mentions being sad she couldn’t go to his mother’s funeral in 2023 bc of the VPR reunion. Chapter 8- ROB, ROB, ROOOOOOOOOOOB Scheana met Rob during her Jesse Metcalf days. Their first date was at Disneyland. She said she wanted to kiss him the whole day but he pulled away waiting for a special moment. Rob playing hard to get was his main appeal. She said he wouldnt commit, so they broke up and she shortly reconnected with Shay. She mentions thinking about Rob on her wedding day and what could have been. Once she dumped Shay, she immediately started fucking Rob. She admits to being obsessed and diving in head first. Against his concerns about editing he decided to do VPR. They had business plans. She was going to cohost his entertainment show. But then the conversation about Toca Madera happened on camera. Rob was with 🎤Jake Pavelka when Scheana told him about it and he blew up screaming at her. They rebounded and made it through the end of s6. They even continued to take business meetings together, once at the Mondrian which is where she met 🚨🚨🚨Janet Caperna. They bonded over leaving their marriages. Shortly after filming ended, on the day of his final fantasy draft, Rob ended the relationship. She called him stupid for dumping her the day before a girls trip to Atlanta for Brittany. She then continued to sleep with him for four months after he dumped her (Ed: I’m so thankful I had access to therapy in my twenties. I’m not so dissimilar in my struggles for connection and love like Scheana. I really hope her OCD specialist is helping her to learn she’s valuable just for existing). She also slept with three bachelor nation contestants. The fourth dumped her for a stripper. She used her partying with them in Vegas to fight with Rob about his commitment issues; she points out he is 42 and still single (Ed: dollars to donuts she still tracks his location). However partying in vegas with 🎤Kendra Wilkinson and 🎤Jai Rodriguez introduced her to producers of a show and she brokered a deal to take over after Kendra finished. She was approved by VPR for the three month run. It was what she needed to get a fresh start. At the end of the run, she moved into an apartment in Marian Del Rey that her mom found, and her new friend ,🚨🚨🚨Adam Spot, put her furniture together before she came home. She expresses regret for sleeping with Adam and ruing the relationship?ed: this is the only man she’s expressed regret for sleeping with. I don’t know what to make of it other than he might be the only man she’s actually cared about?). S7 made her worry she’d be demoted for s8 the way Kristen was. She was correct. Chapter 9 Jeremiah told her to be available for a call with Alex baskin before she was in WWHL with Andy Cohen. It spiked her anxiety because she’d heard Kristen remained demoted in s8. She called Alex and he confirmed she would be a day player instead of main cast. Her job was to bridge the world between the older cast members and a small group of younger staff. If she could do that, she’d be cast on both VPR and the spinoff which developed to what is now “the Valley”. Also, 🚨🚨 🚨 Carl Radke was in WWHL and spent the next day cheering her up. She was upset because she’d just purchased the Palm Springs house. She felt targeted bc she was a pushover. She opines that Stassi would have quit. LVP told her she was really counting in Scheana to help with the new cast. Scheana mentions being more bonded and friendly to 🚨🚨🚨Charli, bc Charli was half white- half Mexican like her. She disliked 🚨🚨🚨Dayna Kathan immediately. She was jealous of Dayna’s confidence. She was also “unaware “ that Dayna and Max were romantically involved when they went to Palm Springs and she gave him the “accidental” blowjob. But Max stopped her before they could have sex. Then Max told everyone that Scheana was the pursuer and he was the innocent penis. It upset Scheana that he played it as though he wasn’t a willing participant. When Dayna confronted Scheana about the situation, Scheana claims to have had a panic attack which is why she used her inhaler. She explained that she’d been demoted, she’d been replaced by Max, her career hadn’t been shown on camera while they featured Dayna’s comedy day one. Dayna and her came to a truce and even a friendship. Scheana also talks about her egg freezing journey and having to do it twice as the first time yielded fewer eggs than targeted. During s8 her hormones were everyone. Which is also when she brings up Brett, LVPs trainer and bar back at SUR. She had a shirt make out session with him and they agreed to pretend it didn’t happen. Scheana brings up the BPR editor that admitted to finding Scheana’s cringiest clips and stringing them together, aka- making it look like Scheana was hitting on Stassi’s 15 yr old brother. While Scheana was in-demoted for s9, she was re-demoted for s10. Chapter 10- Brock lied to Scheana three times when they initially started dating (Ed: this is humiliating for Brock that his wife is painting him as a liar from day one). They met at an after party Scheana was attending with a woman named DD that she was hooking up with. Brock initially hit on DD. The first lie was that he had a ticket to a music festival she was attending. At the festival he told her about his kids. Then they did the dirty dancing lift. Then he kissed her and she felt sparks. They went to a bar in San Diego with Max and played Good as Gold. That’s where people told Scheana to go spend time with Brock in the corner. They decided to go to another music festival where he arranged for the air bnb. At the air bnb they had ammmmmaaazing sex for the first time (Ed: she’s really painting the pic of just throwing him a bone bc she was bored and people pressed her into it). She realized he was missing a pinky finger and kept it to herself saying “I thought I was the awkward one” (Ed: WTF Scheana). Second lie was that a crocodile ate his fingers. Brock once flew to vegas to bring DD a jacket she wanted to wear for an event, bc Scheana told him how much DD wanted to wear it for her bday. She was making out with DD at the bday party. DD is the only woman Scheana’s hooked up with without a man being involved. Scheana says that Brock remembered that she always takes a shot for her friend that killed himself when she forgot, and chased her down with a bottle of Jameson to take said shot (Ed: I’m not saying this never happened, but I do feel like Collin- the friend who killed himself, and DD the tattooed girl lover don’t exist). They spent time going back and with from La to San Diego. He once picked her up from the airport in Australia and lifted her in the air (Ed: insert “sure Jan” meme as my reaction). Brock adopted Scheaner a koala. She met his mom and sister. Lie number three was he took her to Bali instead of heading home to the US. They became official and he almost ended the relationship over her making out with DD. She feels like Brock is STILL her person. Chapter 11 summer moooooooon Scheana wasn’t sure she wanted to be a mom until she spoke with a fertility doctor who said her levels were extremely low for her age. She mentions having been on birth control for her heavy periods at 12. The first round of egg freezing yielded under a dozen mature eggs, and little side effects. The second round Scheana experienced nausea and hormone swings. She had 16 eggs and planned on trying for a third round alongside Ariana when whoooooopsie! Brock knocked Scheana up. Unfortunately, the pregnancy didn’t progress beyond five weeks (there was no yoke sac). She was heartbroken to have to wait and pass the tissue naturally at home. Brock was in San Diego setting up his gym. Scheana felt alone in Palm Springs. He was playing golf while she was at home alone. Scheana mentions Lala and Rand were in town and while Lala asked if she wanted company, Scheana said no. Later that evening, Scheana texted Lala for comfort but Lala was occupied with 🚨🚨🚨Megan Fox and 🚨🚨🚨Machine Gun Kelly. Lala asked if Scheana wanted to join them for dinner and she declined. The tissue didn’t pass so she had to have a d&c. Scheana felt shame and guilt as if she had caused this. She called the miscarries mind fuck. They decided to wait and NOt try to get pregnant the next month….until the next month came (Ed: and so did Brock. Hey-oooooohhhh)! Following his deposit, she didn’t smoke, drink, eat raw fish or soft cheese. Indeed she was pregnant with🚨🚨🚨 Summer Moon! While pregnant she kept stress levels low by doing acupuncture and reiki. James and Raquel were the most frequent visitors as Raquel became Scheana’s close friend. She was induced at 39 weeks. She spent fifteen hours laboring before being put on a magnesium drip due to high blood pressure. Scheana started shaking intensely and Summer Moon’s heart rate started to drop. She felt selfish for inducing to be able to film s9 of VPR. She said that the doctors were able to catch her before becoming preeclamptic and having a stroke. She counted the seconds of silence before SM started crying- 45 secs. Afterwards, Scheana found out that she was suffering from HELLP syndrome. She spent five days at the hospital and only had three days home Before filming began. Chapter 12 Scheana is unlikely to carry her next child due to the trauma of childbirth. She’s open to adoption and surrogacy. Scheana talks about becoming friends with Lala and bonding over their daughters. It was during a trip to San Diego where Scheana blurted out an intrusive thought about SM choking. Lala reminded Scheana they’d taken CPR. They became safe spaces for each other. Lala seemed like a good mom to Scheana and it heightened Scheana’s anxiety about SM’s health and safety. Lala told Scheana that Ocean choked in a piece of fruit and Scheana reacted by cutting SM’s food into tiny mush chunks. Scheana went to her doctor and then a therapist who informed her about Post Partum OCD. She talks in depth about keeping her instagram at a certain number and deleting people if she was over (420)(Ed: fucking nerd). CBT was not helping therapy wise so she started EMDR. Scheana started exposure therapy like following as many people as she wanted in instagram, listening to tv at the volume she wanted, and taking SM to Disneyland. She said using the fast passes helped her manage the stress of dealing with the lines and SM. Scheana is now part of the International OCD Foundation. Chapter 13 Scheana talks about the proposal that we saw on s9. She recaps what happened on the show (Brock went to Lala and Randall for a surprise movie screening/wedding). She mentions that Brock didn’t want to overshadow James and Raquel’s engagement party, so he did a quiet proposal at home. Scheana recaps what happened in the s9 finale. She says they were in Solvang (ed: I thought they were in Santa Ynez). She mentions waking up feeling like they shouldn’t sneak away to get married (ed: ON CAMERA!!!! They always made it seem like it would be an elopement. I guess I never realized she wanted it on the show. Scheana……so selfish). Scheana says in the moment they thought the cast was happy for them but later when watching their interviews she was upset they acted disgusted with her tackiness (Ed: Scheana- bc it was WRONG and you put them all in an uncomfortable position. What a weird way to behave at 35). She said she felt “taken advantage of” by their reactions (ed: SCHEANA!!!! So. Fucking. Self centered). Scheana said that Lala and her faked the fight at the engagement party to take the heat off of Lala being pressured to tell James about Scheana’s (Ed: rude ass) behavior. Editorial- THIS BITCH IS THE MEANEST GIRL I HAVE EVER MET!!! How daaaaaare Scheana talk about Katie’s drinking. I’m quoting this directly bc of how she tries to pull Katie into the fray. If I were Katie I wouldn’t address it or say anything if Scheana is brought up. It’s giving “no comment” or “who” to me. “Predictably, Katie was into it, too, as she was always game to pick a fight with me. Everyone was happy. That was until Katie got overserved and couldn’t see straight. I swear if someone had asked her, she probably couldn’t even remember her name. I knew there was no way she was going to be able to pull things off and get her points across “. (P 160). Scheana says production wanted to get her wedding on camera for s10 so she and Brock decided to go to the courthouse and secretly get married. They filmed the whole thing in case VPR needed it and sold access to it on Patreon. Scheana thought she had job security but she was demoted for s10. She says it’s bc she was living in San Diego and Rachel was living in her LA apartment. Production said they didn’t care to have Brock around. Scheana dropped back to a day rate + 5%. She feels the show only recognized her value when she was beaten down. She recaps what was shown on the wedding episodes of S10 VPR. She adds that her wedding dress designer’s wife saw Tom and Rachel kissing by the elevator. She assumed it was Schwartz. She goes in on Katie not giving her room up bc Katie believed she “deserved a vacation” but had blocked Scheana from the Havasu trip (Ed: Scheana sounds so jealous of Katie’s lack of fucks to give). She says she realizes now that Katie was suffering from her divorce. Chapter 14 Scandoval hits. Scheana recognizes she not a good judge of character. She says her mom taught her to give people the benefit of the doubt. During s10 when the rumors about Tom and Rachel began, she thought Lala and Katie were overreacting. Rachel had told Scheana ache was into Schwartz to cover her affair with Tom. Schwartz and Rachel even discussed being each other’s NYE kiss, but when it came time, Schwartz hid in the bathroom to avoid her. Ariana wanted to go home and celebrate with just Tom as New Year’s Day was their anniversary. Tom suggested everyone come over to their house. Rachel and Tom continued to act inappropriately even in front of Ariana who confronted the pair with them denying. At one point Rachel and Scheana were taking dance classes and went to Dinner where Scheana pressed on the relationship. Rachel said nothing had happened, not even a kiss. She said Tom was her best friend, that he wanted to leave Ariana, but Ariana threatened to kill herself. Scheana asked if Rachel was in love with Sandoval and she just smiled. Scheana went home Brock yelled at her for thinking the worst of her friends. Scheana announced that Sandoval was her closest man friend. Scheana blamed Katie and Lala and Brock said they should Fuck themselves. She had lunch with Ariana and brought up Tom and Rachel and Ariana rolled her eyes and said “these girls won’t stay out of my relationship”. She told Scheana they’d been having more sex and things were really good between them. It was at this time when Rachel stopped sharing her location. Scheana confronted Sandoval outside of Tom Tom and he denied, yelling at Scheana that Rachel was like his little sister (Ed: thank god Sandoval has a brother). 🎤 Nema from Shahs of sunset told Rachel her energy was off. Then Rachel and Scheana went to NYC for press. Rachel blurted out Sandoval during a WWHL game about which Tom was hotter. Afterwards they went to a bar with some bravo friends. Rachel was wasted. She came out of the bathroom and Scheana could hear Ariana crying on the phone so she routed Rachel to privacy. Rachel admitted “Sandoval and I have been having an affair for seven months. Ariana just found out” (p 180). Scheana took Rachel’s phone and told Ariana she was sorry and didn’t want this to be true. Scheana was sobbing while Rachel stood there stone faced and blinking. Scheana screamed and threw Rachel’s phone in the street. Scheana screamed “how could you do this” and Rachel grabbed her wrist and whispered I’m sorry. Scheana pushed her, then Rachel came Back towards her so she pushed her again and yell that she couldn’t believe how disgusting Rachel was. Scheana’s friends overheard Rachel Talking to someone at the hotel saying Scheana reacted reasonably. Her story changed to assault after she spoke to Sandoval. Chapter 15 Scheana made more money during the Scandoval episode than her wedding episodes. She felt like an integral piece of the plot. She was worried that Rachel was spreading her side of being “pushed” to other people. Mutual friends said she’d never get legal involved, but she changed her mind after employing a crisis PR team. Scheana calls it reputation rehab and says the first step was revealing Sandoval taped an intimate moment without consent. All of the cast were sent cease and desists to their personal emails, instead of sending them to the cast’s representatives. Next Rachel went to a doctor to document her injuries , four days after the incident and in LA versus NYC where the incident occurred. Rachel claimed to TMZ that Scheana gave her a black eye and permanent scar. Scheana started getting panicky and upset and SM followed in her mother’s footsteps. Ariana and friends were heading to Mexico for her friend’s wedding and wanted to hide out at Scheana’s in Marina Del Rey, but the paparazzi was following them. They had to run through the neighborhood to sneak them through the side doors. Scheana talks about hiring a lawyer to deal with Rachel. They went back and forth negotiating a settlement, but Rachel’s attorneys decided to release a statement about Scheana not agreeing to their terms. Then there was the negotiation regarding the reunion. Scheana didn’t want to miss it bc it’s a third of her paycheck for the season. Rachel didnt want to attend at all. Supposedly Sandoval called Scheana and said that Rachel was in a Britney Soears situation with her family and then had confiscated her phone, but wanted to Let you know they might have video of you hitting Rachel”. Scheana was livid at him and wanted a video to exist to prove her innocence. ED- much like the Katie slandering, I’m gonna put this section in verbatim. If I were Ariana, I would no comment Scheana’s name. How dare she ask her friend, the person most impacted by the affair to read her mind about why Scheana was under 110lbs. This was while Ariana was having her world turned upside down and trying to survive. Shame on Scheana for shitting on Ariana for not being there for HER during Ariana’s nightmare reality. She has no sympathy at all and her compliments are obvious and hollow. “In the moment, a line was drawn in the sand, and my loyalty was to Ariana. Unfortunately, siding with Ariana didn’t ultimately preserve our friendship. In the months leading into season eleven, Ariana’s star rose as the world rallied around her postscandal, and a little distance emerged in our friendship. She’s not great at multitasking, and she was being pulled in a million different directions. Still, throughout this time, I was living in my own personal hell and I desperately wanted my best friend, my ride-or-die throughout ten seasons of VPR plus the two years prior serving up Big Pinkys at Villa Blanca together, to notice and ask what was wrong. She never did, and she still doesn’t know that my world came to a screeching halt shortly after hers did, for more reasons than Raquel’s restraining order. No matter how much distance has emerged, the love is always there. I will continue to support Ariana in everything she does and will always be cheering for her. She’s an enormously talented person, and I’m so proud of her. When I saw her play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway, I cried tears of joy. She was amazing. After seeing her at her lowest, I’m thrilled that she was able to turn such a dark period in her life into so much light and success.” (P 194). Scheana then brings up how LVP was worried about Sandoval killing himself. Sheena said that no matter what he did, his crimes didn’t muster up to the death penalty. She didn’t think that being kind to Tom Sandoval would lead to Ariana and her no longer being friends. She’s choosing to stay cordial with Sandoval, despite him suing Ariana and continuing to badmouth her. She also said LVP and her relationship diminished because Scheana took a picture with Kyle Richard’s at a Christmas party. Chapter 16 This is the Brock cheating scandal. There were multiple blind items about him. He was scared the real story would leak- he cheated on Scheana while she was pregnant. She was so angry she threw a Rubik’s cube at him. He slept on the couch a few nights. She called his sister to scold him first, then her publicist, then took care of her lashes bc she had an appointment the next day, then to her mom to cancel babysitting. She went to Coachella with Brock, Ariana, Dan and friends. At some point Dayna and Scheana made out and Brock was outraged. Scheana said she was in revenge mode and it made her feel bad to make HIM feel bad. Scheana also starved herself into being under 110lbs bc she was so upset. Ed: I give up on trying to summarize the worst thing she could say about her friend Ariana during the worst period of her adult life. I’m going to put it in verbatim. It’s so gross and rude to diminish what your friend is going through. Ariana is in multiple lawsuits with Tom. And isn’t this YOU PUTTING BRICK ON BLAST?!?!? “People have said I was jealous of Ariana because she was on Dancing with the Stars and had all these amazing opportunities presented to her. But the only time during the Scandoval saga that I even got close to a feeling of envy for Ariana was related to the fact that she got to put Tom’s affair behind her without a legal union to dissolve or child to consider. While I never wanted to compare traumas, and our circumstances were different, I did resent that it couldn’t be so clean-cut for me. And as much as I wanted to put Brock on blast and feel supported during that dark time, this was Summer’s father—not just my husband” (p 203). Scheana says her ghostwriter submitted the blind items, had a mental health crisis, and quit. “Ariana had always been my person, my vault, the one who knew me so well that she could detect when something was off first—and vice versa. It surprised me that she never even noticed how stressed and sad I was. I feel like if she would’ve inquired, I would’ve opened up and trusted her. But I didn’t want to burden her with my family problems as she was going through enough on her own. A part of me also worried that if I did choose to open up about it then, that it would come off as opportunistic, like I was crafting a publicity stunt to elicit the support and opportunities that Ariana was receiving” (p 207) Ed- How is it that she really can put herself as the center of every experience? Chapter 17 Scheana worries about Brock leaving her if she won’t give him another kid. She worries no relationship will last. She worries about Summer Moon and not being a good enough mom. She worries about SM developing OCD. She was disappointed she was sent home on the first night of the Masked Singer. She said LVP set her up to build her empire and she had been afraid “Scheana with the connection to Eddie wouldn’t participate “ (p 221). And it’s done. submitted by /u/Narrow_Grapefruit_23 to r/vanderpumprules [link] [comments]
r/vanderpumprules Narrow_Grapefruit_23 Jul 22, 2025
Soft foods for after dental surgery
I had two teeth extracted this morning, an implant put in, and a bone graft. I had some Popeye's mashed potatoes and gravy earlier, and some Greek yogurt. I'm hungry and my brain isn't letting me think of other good options. I'm not on any prescription painkillers (just ibuprofen and Tylenol) so fortunately I'm not experiencing any nausea. Please share your best ideas for soft foods that won't disturb the extraction site or mess with healing. submitted by /u/calmossimo to r/Cooking [link] [comments]
r/Cooking calmossimo May 31, 2025
Suggestions for liquid/soft food diet after major oral surgery?
First off, im sorry if this isnt the right place to ask this but I was having trouble finding good resources online. My elderly dad has type 2 and is having nine teeth pulled later this week. I'm trying to find some foods I can make or buy for him while hes recovering, especially in the first few days. Once he can do soft foods I have some ideas, but im struggling a bit with ideas for a more liquid diet beyond broths or pureed soups. Are there any smoothie recipes or other liquid foods I should try? Or for those who've had oral surgery what were the soft foods you particularly liked while recovering? Thanks! submitted by /u/lillylights to r/diabetes [link] [comments]
r/diabetes lillylights Apr 29, 2025
Soft foods after oral surgery
I'm having 4 wisdom teeth taken out at the end of the month. At my consult the surgeon warned me that both of the lowers are going to be difficult and leave me in substantial pain. I'm sure I won't feel up to spending a ton of time in the kitchen making myself soft foods - so I'm looking for suggestions for quick, easy, mushy meals. Smoothies and mashed potatoes are a given, but I can't exist on that alone for the week I'm expecting to be down and out. I'll greatly appreciate any input and ideas! submitted by /u/SleepyWanderer4141 to r/cookingforbeginners [link] [comments]
r/cookingforbeginners SleepyWanderer4141 Mar 12, 2025
Food after oral surgery on 18 yo cat
TLDR - After oral surgery 3 days ago, my cat gags on just about every food except creamy treats. What other options do I have? My 18 year old cat had extensive oral surgery to remove numerous bad teeth and a tumor inside her cheek. The dental specialist was amazing and she made it through anesthesia without an issue (which was a huge concern). Post-surgery, we were told to feed her soft food. She normally eats 5 oz. of a fresh raw chicken blend per day. The first night, she ate about 2 oz of Hills A/D without an issue, perhaps because her mouth was still a bit numb. After that, we've had problems with just about any type of food we've offered her - she's interested, but takes a bite and almost immediately gags and shakes her head. The first day, she even gagged when trying to drink water, but that seems to have improved. The dentist suggested that her gums are sensitive and food may be sticking to her sutures, which is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She's on a fentanyl patch and gabapentin for pain for 2 more days. The only "food" that she doesn't seem to gag on is creamy treats (like Tiki Cat Lickable Treats). We've tried different "Velvet", bisque, and mousse type foods, including pureed canned tuna - she takes a bite or two then gags and stops if there's even a little texture. I'm OK giving her just treat food, but am concerned about nutrition and hydration while she recovers. The stitches won't dissolve for another 10 days. Any suggestions on extra creamy food that I can give her during recovery? submitted by /u/Helpful_Insight954 to r/CATHELP [link] [comments]
r/CATHELP Helpful_Insight954 Mar 8, 2025
I am leaving this house. I will have no one to help me.
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is gnawingloneliness. She posted in r/internetparents, r/AITAH and r/MadeMeSmile She reached out to me herself and gave permission for me to post. Also, dates are from my time zone as that is what I see on reddit, so keep in mind that OOP is about 6-7 hours ahead of my time zone. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. This is a VERY long post. Trigger Warning: abuse; verbal abuse; physical abuse; homelessness; Mood Spoiler: Things are looking up for OOP! Background Post: January 16, 2025 Title: AITAH for refusing to speak to my brother after he attacked me Repost because it was removed from the AITA sub for mentioning violence. Oops I feel inclined to share this since I’m getting berated by my extended family. For context, I’m 21F and he’s 15M. My little brother (Rascal) is a narcissistic menace. As a kid, it was tolerable - I was his older sister, and being the eldest daughter of 5 kids in an ethnic household meant every action of his (and the rest of them) was on me. But as he grew older, he began taking advantage of the fact that I’m the scapegoat of the house, the one no one respects or listens to but is blamed for everything. The straw that broke the camel’s back was him attacking me 2 weeks ago. He had my wrists on a death grip and I instinctively fought to get him off me. I was dumbfounded and also scared because he attacked me at the top of the stairs, and I was on the verge of falling down. He had a growth spurt last year so is 5’10” to my 5’5”, which perhaps gave him the confidence to manhandle his older sister?? I would’ve left there and then, but it was 10pm at night, with no car & nowhere to go. I woke up the next day with bruises on my wrists and got really upset and angry all over again. I called my uncle to tell him what happened because I didn’t know what else to do. I regret that because whilst he did tear Rascal a new one, he also told him to apologise to me after “she’s had a day to calm down”. Rascal didn’t do that, and I was truly hoping he’d never talk to me again since he didn’t get any punishment anyway, no one held him accountable for his behaviour - he just went straight back to his PS5. However, my uncle called me back a few days ago and asked if Rascal had apologised yet. I was in my room, assuming no one was around, so I was talking loudly when I said “No, he didn’t apologise, and I don’t want a measly apology that means nothing anyway. He has done this over and over again and I’m tired of the abuse. I’ve done nothing to deserve this.” Rascal was standing outside my room and heard that uncle was on call with me, and in an attempt to manipulate the situation again he ran, got some leftover snacks from his room and knocked on my door whilst I was still on call with uncle My uncle heard Rascal come into my room & throw the snacks at me whilst saying sorry loudly. I saw red & threw the measly bag back at him, telling him to never speak to me again. My uncle started saying “wait, he apologised?? Why are you screaming, go tell him you accept it.” I said lol you must be mad and ended the call. Haven’t talked to uncle since either, I regret even involving him but I had no one to speak to, no friends, and my therapist appointment is in a month. My cousin called me today: said Uncle told her everything and that I’m a bad sister for not hearing my brother out, that I should talk to him. She said “siblings fight all the time!” So, AITA for standing my ground and vowing not to speak to him again? (I will be moving out and going NC with my mother for other reasons, but this situation has solidified the fact that I also want nothing to do with him and his abuse.) Background Post 2: January 16, 2025 Title: AITA for telling my father he cannot tell me what to do I’m 21F, and trying to move out. I live in England. It’s been a long process due to some financial issues, but I’m getting there - I have an end goal in mind which is good. My father does not live with us. He works abroad. Him and my mother are not on good terms but for some reason won’t divorce, just separated. He also has another family which may add context. I made the mistake of talking about me moving out within earshot of my mother a while ago. Ever since then, she’s been trying to manipulate me, not realising that the curtains have been lifted from my eyes. I see every word for what it is - a power play, an attempt to chain me to a toxic environment that uses me as a scapegoat. When her final card, telling me to stay because I’m useless and can’t be independent and would be better off saving my money for a car instead of rent and bills, didn’t work on me - she called my dad to talk some ‘sense’ into me. The call from him was triggering, but I pushed through and said I don’t want to live here. I hate that I’m either being taken advantage of or demeaned. He kept pushing, so in anger I said I hate her. That he cannot convince me to stay just to slave away for people who don’t care about me. I said I rather be in debt and pay my rent in money, instead of paying it with my mental health as I’ve done my entire life. He said “are you refusing to listen to your father?” I said “Maybe you’d have a leg to stand on if you were here, but you’re working abroad, have another family that you don’t even live with either and are probably thinking about. You’ve got enough on your plate so please don’t bother with me now, my decision is set.” He was furious and called my siblings in anger ranting about me. They’ve not said anything really. My mother then got wind of what I said and has been badgering me ever since to apologise to him. I admit I have been avoiding his calls because I was angry when I said everything. I’m feeling slightly guilty now for causing a rift. AITA for shutting down my father, arguing with him and telling him he cannot tell me what to do? Original Post: January 25, 2025 (9 days after background posts) This one is long, please read if you can. I’d love to get some advice and moral support. In previous posts, I mentioned how chaotic my home life is, how my brother attacked me and how my anger was dismissed. This links to today’s events. I’m 21F, with a mother that hates her life and therefore projects all her negative emotions onto her children - mainly me. She has the classic victim-mentality narcissistic mindset, spewing the same bullshit about how I am the cause of all her troubles, I am the reason for her behaviour. Refuses to have a civil conversation without screaming at me, has NEVER apologised for anything, has never ever hugged me or told me she loved me. That’s not an exaggeration - NEVER. Being the eldest daughter, I was blamed for it all. Her behaviour is always my fault according to her. I’m too emotionally drained to give specific context but just know that the “why does my mother hate me?” questions began when I was just a 5 year old little girl. In the past few years, I had accepted that no amount of begging, pleading or bargaining would give me the loving mother I yearn for. So I decided to protect my emotions from being exploited. I stopped trying to reason with her. After the incident with my brother, I continued not speaking to anyone. Going about my life outside, coming back here just to sleep. Without the financial independence to move out and no friends to stay with, I thought I had to endure this until I got my money up. But I’m at the end of my rope. Today, after not speaking to each other for weeks, she came and commanded me to do fill out a long form for her. I said “I’m not ready to act like nothing happened. I was assaulted and nearly thrown off a flight of stairs by your son and you did nothing but watched. And then dismissed me when I broke down in rage. You have ignored me since. If you’re gonna talk to me, then let’s start with what happened that night.” She began ranting about how everything was my fault. How I’m selfish for expecting her to sort him out when he won’t listen to her. I said “you laughed at me in front of him and told me to stop the dramatics. In front of him.” The ranting from her dragged on and I just left to go to my room. She came up after me cussing me out. This is where I lost it and began recording so I have evidence. She yanked my phone and threw it back at me. Then proceeded to continue raging at me. I made a mistake and said “that’s what you are” as a reply to one of her horrible insults to me. She began hitting me, I tried moving away but she continued - at one point punching my face. Now she is shorter than me, and I’m quite obviously stronger. I could’ve fought back. But regardless of everything, in my heart she’s my mother and I didn’t want to touch her and give her ammunition to use against me. I managed to grab my suitcase and duffel bag which became a shield against her attacks. I went upstairs, hyperventilating and needing to get OUT. As mentioned in my previous posts, she has tried manipulating me to stay and not leave the house before. But something about today opened my mind - I rather be living in shelters than be here. I packed a bag but all the numbers I called wouldn’t pick up. I’ve been in my room for the past 5 hours, trying to hatch out a plan. I can’t leave if there’s a risk I’ll be forced back because of circumstances. I know because of previous fights in this house that my mother will give me the silent treatment for weeks, so I have time to hash out a plan. I have no friends. No one to stay with. So on Monday morning, I will take my bag and go to a woman’s shelter. I will be out of here and survive no matter what. I will be blocking her number and picking myself back up. Despite being 21, I’m at a low in life. I’ve been sheltered from friends and community. I have no one. But I will make it. I live in England, I’m grateful that I have the opportunity to escape. I have all my documents and passport packed. She also has no access to my bank account and I have a few hundred bucks to get me by right now until I get a job. She isn’t usually violent, only with me. I’ve decided I don’t want to go to the police now. My priority is moving out and being anywhere but here. I know my extended family will call me, I will NOT pick up. My little sister will know I’m safe but that’s it. I’m here right now typing this because I have no one to help me. I’m gathering strength with each letter I type. I will make a life for myself, one of my doing, one that overcomes the trauma she has inflicted on me my whole life. I will succeed despite it all. I’m hoping that things go well and I’m able to come back here and let you know that I’ve taken the step, that I’m doing it. I will find a job, I will work hard, I will decide how my future looks. I’m done being the chained elephant who doesn’t know her own strength. I will be FREE. I only wish I didn’t have to be all alone doing this. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Don't fall into the trap of a seemingly nice partner comes along and wants to give you the world, only to continue the cycle of abuse. OOP: (Un?)fortunately, I don’t trust at all when it comes to romantic situations. I’ve refused many dates with seemingly nice men before, because I’m not mentally healed from this household. After I attend therapy and work more towards healing maybe I’ll give it a proper go, but definitely not now. I also don’t have a car :/ wish I had, I’d be out of here by now if I did. It’s one of my goals though for when I’m more financially stable, learning how to drive and getting myself a car Work: I have BCC from my A-levels, and a Level 3 certificate in cyber security practices. I haven’t gone to uni, I explain a little about that in another post. But I have a good enough CV (resume), so I’ve been mass applying to jobs online despite the lack of vacancies. I’m planning on calling job agencies too, every morning, and maybe start off with a zero-contract job whilst I look for something more stable [Edit] I live in England to clarify, but in summary the credentials mentioned above means that I am employable enough (I think?). I haven’t had a job before which sucks but I am really good at adapting and learning. Update Post: January 26, 2025 (Next Day) Title: I’m about to do it. There’s only 9 hours left till I leave and never look back. My life begins tomorrow. I’m so scared Posted about my plans to leave this abusive house yesterday. I live in England. I am quite literally shitting bricks. I know I’m a 21 year old woman, but I’ve been completely conditioned to believe that I cannot achieve anything on my own. My so called mother ingrained in me that I’d never succeed without her ‘guidance’. This is the FIRST time I’m taking such a drastic step that no one ever expected me to do. I won’t mull over how I’ve let them think so low of me with my inaction. I can’t victim-blame myself. I feel so panicky omg. Monday morning, I’m out. Bag is packed, essential’s ready. Important documents and passport all secured. I don’t know where I’ll end up tomorrow night. I have no idea what the future entails. I have no means to support myself currently but my priority is escaping this hell. I’m posting here to hold myself accountable and ensure that my resolve doesn’t waver so that I ACTUALLY leave and don’t doubt myself. I have to believe that anything is better than subjecting myself to more of this abuse. I feel like a clueless child, inexperienced and uninformed about the world. I have no one, no friends. But I’m doing this anyway. Please please please give me some moral support. I really need it. You guys don’t understand how much your advice helps. Letting me know that I can do this is giving the confidence I’ve always needed to take the step. I’m hoping to update you in a few days about how it’s going. I hope I survive and thrive. I hope she doesn’t end up being right. Thank you so much. I’m still looking for jobs so I can get a steady income and start saving. My life begins tomorrow. [EDIT- 11:30a.m GMT] Left at 9am carrying only a backpack and a dream. I’ve been seen by the youth hub charity that I mentioned in the comments!! The lady who spoke to me 2 months ago opened the files of the risk assessment I took back then, and I had another round of updated assessments to see that I’m not at risk of hurting myself. I told them about what happened. They said that they’ve sent away my information to the housing association in my city, and will hopefully find an all-female accommodation by tonight. I did reiterate that a mixed accommodation is fine for now because I need somewhere to sleep tonight as I’m definitely not going back that house. Guys it’s actually happening this feels so surreal. I’ll do a proper update once I’m situated and more settled. [EDIT 2- 14:30 GMT] I’ve got a horrible headache, I’ll make a full update about everything later on but right now I just want to ask what other options I have in West Midlands? Our councils are strapped for cash, our charities are closing due to lack of funding. The level of loops I’m being forced through is diabolical. I understand I guess, people can lie just for housing. The questioning of the abuse made me even less secure in myself- felt like I’m making it bigger than it is, but I’m still pushing through. Like I said I’ll make a detailed update but in short: as of right now I’ve called the police, waiting for them to email/text me with the crime number so I can forward that to the charity workers who’ll send it to the council. Then, I’ll wait for a call back from the housing association AGAIN. I just really hope I get answers before night time, so that I have time to think of other options. I’ve been sitting down, stressed and mentally drained from having to explain what I went through over and over again. Anyway, I hope I’m back later with better news. Update Post 2: January 27, 2025 (Next day, 2 days from OG post) Hey! I’m the 21 year old young woman from England (West Midlands to be specific) that was planning to escape and live her new life. Fair warning - this post ended up being so much longer than I intended it to be 😀 If you’re new, I posted last night about leaving my toxic household. I talked about not having anyone, being all alone, but being determined despite that. So I got up at 7am all nervous. Had breakfast. Ensured the kids (edit: I’m referring to my 3 younger siblings living there, all over 15yrs old) and mother were gone before I got ready to leave. Just as I was about to go downstairs to leave, I heard my mum come back which never happens once she leaves for work. She heard me moving about but didn’t bother me, just went to the bathroom and left. Longest 10 minutes of my life, I really wanted out and right on the day I secretly made a solid decision she was back to haunt me lol. Anyway, I didn’t overthink it - I left just after she did and walked in the opposite direction to the bus stop. I got to the youth hub at 9am. Told them of my emergency and that I needed somewhere to sleep tonight as I had nowhere to go. Things seemed to be going well (in the other post I added edits as things were happening in real time so feel free to read that) but I hit a snag when the housing association called me and said that they can’t help with just my words - I could be lying thus needed evidence. They asked if I had filed a report with the police yet or if I had medical records from the days of the attack. I said no and no. The lady speaking to me seemed like she just wanted to end the call there but with enough prodding she did tell me that if I filed a report and gave them a crime number I could then be housed somewhere tonight. I called the police, which was a whole other gruelling experience. The first woman who picked up was so sweet, she was patient and told me to take my time once I mentioned I was reporting abuse. However, they referred the call to another man (from the domestic violence department with the cops) and that call was so emotionally draining. It was a video call, and his whole demeanour read like he was annoyed at me and that this wasn’t a big deal. I reiterated to him this is the first time reporting my family so I’d need a little patience. He kept telling me to stop adding unnecessary details and cut to the point with the events. Verbatim. I was so stressed recalling what occurred and his bluntness wasn’t helping🥲 At one point he let out a chuckle when I said I didn’t want to press charges, I just needed the report on file so that I won’t be reported missing. So that I can be housed away from that unsafe place. Then his demeanour turned into “oh so *that’*s why she’s doing this” & he proceeded to talk to me like I’m a moron and say “you can give them the crime number, but the council won’t get any details if they ask so don’t think any data protection laws will be breached to solve your housing problem”. I was thinking DUHHHH I KNOW THAT. Anyway I’m just ranting about him because he actually gave me a migraine. The crime number did end up being enough, and once sent back to the council I got a call after another 2 hours telling me that I’ve been referred to an all-female shared accommodation with housing support. That accommodation ended up calling me just 30 minutes later, telling me to come over now. I assumed they just wanted to talk to me, so I said I have a big bag and I’m tired is it possible to talk over the phone. The lady said “oh no I’m telling you to come because there’s a room that was just vacated this morning, come see if you wanna stay”. There was of course no question about it - I went on my way, taking another 30 minute bus ride. Anyway, got there looking dishevelled and crazed. I was so exhausted. I got a brief tour (can’t recall anything), she talked to me and I filled out some forms and signed some papers. So I’m officially here for the foreseeable future, only paying a small weekly service fee until I get a well-paying job after which they won’t help me and I’ll pay the full rent! I’m so tired. I haven’t eaten since this morning, I’ve been having some snacks but that’s all. I plan on getting cleaning supplies, cleaning the room up tomorrow (they didn’t get a chance to clean it before I came), and being grateful despite the fact that some things that aren’t great here. I’ll go into more detail on that in another post because this is getting too long. Sorry for rambling I hope you’re still reading. I talked to my little sister and she said my mother has no idea still. Like I said before, drama with my mother means she’ll ignore me for weeks after. So the fact that this one is newly fresh (literally occurred only 2 days ago) means she hasn’t seeked me out at all. I have blocked her + brother’s numbers. They will not be able to contact me and they don’t know where I am. I also specified to the police that I’m not missing, I’m safe and any missing reports are false. I told them to call me if they get such a report and need to confirm my safety. Okay finally let’s talk about how I feel: I CANNOT believe myself. I have a bed to sleep in, a wardrobe to put clothes in, somewhere to be that and it only happened because I took that step. I’m out of that toxic house and they don’t even know it. I didn’t know I was this strong. Now that I’ve taken this step, I know I won’t go back. That niggling doubt is fading. I’m so proud of me :) I’ve got a lot more to say about the room and the accommodation overall but for now I want to bask in this achievement. It was a long 10 hours of constant worrying that I’d have to sleep in an unsafe environment tonight. Yet I didn’t run back to that house when the fear hit. I stuck it out. I said I’d sleep outside if I had to, or not sleep at all. Despite the obstacles thrown at me, being told that I’m not really homeless if I didn’t get kicked out, being made to feel that I was lying about fleeing abuse - I still stuck it out. And now I’m here in a warm bed. Yes, once I settled and was left alone with my thoughts, I felt so horrified at myself for reporting my “family”. But I got over it quickly because I thought back to what they did. Family don’t do that. I didn’t betray them, they betrayed me. I’m realistic so I am expecting to feel more negative emotions as I find my independence. But that’s okay, I know that’s just the teething pains from growing. This turned into a whole saga I apologise, I have lots more to say but for now thank you so much for your encouragements, advice and help. Thank you for cheering me on. You helped me see this through. I’ll update you guys as there’s so much more to say, with details about a potential friend I made with my roommate?/neighbour? (got each other’s numbers yay!) and all the gossip and lore I got from her about this place. She gave me so much tea and hacks to survive with your things intact lool, I’ll be speaking to her more she seems so nice :)) Update Post 3: January 30, 2025 (3 days from last post, 5 from OG) Title: 3 days since I left my abusive home, and she STILL has no idea… can’t make this shit up [...] So, today is Day 3. I’m more settled now, I’ve been feeling comfortable in my independence. I’ve gone out and bought essential groceries for myself. I’ve been eating and I’m glad to say I’m alive and well. As the days go on, I feel so much confidence in the decision I took. I know there’ll be a low point in the future (maybe once my period starts again next month and my hormones are out of wack) where my loneliness will overwhelm me, but I’m prepared. I know it’s natural, it’s inevitable and it’ll pass :) I’ve also got therapy scheduled for Wednesday 5th February! I’m glad it’s happening- I’ve simultaneously left the abusive environment and starting my healing journey. Yay In regards to drama at the house I left, my little sister called me to tell me that my mother doesn’t even know I’m gone yet. I mentioned in my previous posts that when my mum would fight with me and say the most horrible stuff (or in this case, hit me), she would ignore me for weeks. This is still the case, she’s still “ignoring” me, so she hasn’t checked my room. She hasn’t seen me either (obviously lol I’m long goneeee), so she has assumed that I’ve barricaded myself inside my room and that I only come out when she’s at work😂😂 With that context in mind, my sister told me the funniest things that have happened since I left. 2 days ago in the car when my mum was dropping my siblings off to school, she started shouting at my sister. Nothing new there, but my sister almost burst out laughing when my mother began ranting crazily about “that sister of yours that hasn’t even left her room in days and has stunk up the place, is that who you wanna be like?!!” Then, yesterday morning, apparently she was angry at another sibling and went upstairs to shout at them for not being ready to go to school. She was passing my room and decided to knock aggressively whilst shouting through the door. She was yelling about how this is her house, I have no right to (her words) “shout and abuse your own mother then lock yourself in your room and avoid all responsibility!! you WILL come out! If I am back and you’re not out then watch what happens !!” Mind you, she’s saying all this with the door closed. It’s 7am, I’m not there, I’m 10 miles away sleeping in another bed. Who tf was she screaming at 😂😂😂😂😂😂 When my sister was telling me this I was genuinely dying of laughter. I couldn’t believe the level of ridiculousness. Like what do you mean you’re screaming at someone through the door, not knowing if they’re there or not, yet wasting your breath anyway. She didn’t even take a peek to ensure I had heard her🤣🤣🤣 As funny as it was, it also made me realise the craziness I lived in my whole life. My mother felt so comfortable in abusing me because she genuinely believed there was no limit for me. All my other siblings, she holds back because she doesn’t know how far she can go before they’re irreversibly pushed away. With me, she exploited my sensitivity and clear desperation for a loving mother. She felt so comfortable saying whatever, doing whatever, thinking I’d never go anywhere despite it. The day after her attacking me, she was quiet, telling my sister to bring me food. She knew she was wrong at least at first. The day after that, I left in the morning as you all know. Since then, I haven’t been back as I have everything I need for now. So she hasn’t seen me. Yet she assumes I’m still there. And because she assumes I’m still there, she is relieved that the small doubt she had about me actually leaving (which came from me telling her I would after taking my suitcase upstairs on the day of the attack) was gone. And so because her belief that I’ll never leave is reinforced again, she now feels comfortable twisting everything to make it seem like I was the one who attacked her, even shouting at me for it… through a closed door that I am not behind, lol It’s hilarious, this is what I’d have to endure if I stayed. I have never ever felt more secure in my decision than now. I was right - anything else would have been better for me than subjecting myself to more of her bullshit. Anyway, that’s enough on the update front. I’m sure I’ll have another story to tell when she finds out that I actually did leave. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see that reaction. I’ve already blocked her because I do not want her contacting me at all, and that’s bringing me much needed peace right now :) [edit] It’s been 4hrs since I posted here, after reading some comments and thinking to myself I’ve decided to unblock her just to ensure any messages that come through can be used as evidence if needed. Muting it though, just to preserve my peace like I mentioned Update Post 4: February 8, 2025 (9 days later, 14 from OG post) Hello. It’s been a while, haven’t been feeling well enough to update - first emotionally, now physically unwell. If you want some background information before continuing, look at my latest post which has all the details linked. Things are a little disorderly in my head but I’ll try to go chronologically So that day my mother was screaming through the closed door, I mentioned she said she’d be checking back to see if I was still in the room. Of course, I hadn’t even been in the house for 3 days before that but she hadn’t realised. Anyway, that afternoon she must’ve checked the room and realised I wasn’t there. She assumed I had crashed at a friend’s house (which is hilarious considering she knows I have no friends, but I guess it’s how she justified it in her brain because she couldn’t imagine me truly leaving with no where else to go). She asked my siblings and of course as discussed with them they both feigned ignorance. They said they don’t know anything. A day after that (8 days ago), my aunt called me twice in the afternoon. I learnt from my 15F sister that upon calling me, my aunt called my mother to ask why I wasn’t picking. My mother told her “she’s not home, I don’t know where the hell she is but I’m guessing she’s with friends.” Well, this aunt of mine is one emotional busybody (bless her but also give me a break pls) so she - in her worried state - called her brother (my uncle). I was at the cinema when my uncle began spam calling me. Then, my aunt began spam calling me. Now imagine, I’m watching the new film ‘Companion’ (it was meh, expected more) and I get spam called by relatives. My anxiety levels were through the roof. I put my phone on DnD and let them know I’d talk to them later. At the same time, my 20F younger sister (who I’ve mentioned escaped before me and goes to university in a different city) texted me to let me know that our mother was spam calling her. She told me how their conversation went - my sister feigned ignorance too, saying she hadn’t heard from me. My mother went on a rant, venting about me and my “audacity to leave without saying anything”. Mother told my sister “tell her that she is not allowed back! Tell her she can stay wherever she is!!” Sis said she could barely hold in her laughter. Mind you, this whole time I’ve unblocked my mother so if she was really curious she could’ve called. However, she made no attempts to contact me (which I’m glad for). But it’s really annoying how she’s sending people after me with her “woe is me my rebellious daughter is nowhere to be seen” bs. On that note, I should mention that said uncle called me back after I left the cinema that day. He was poking and prodding to figure out where I was. I stood firm in being vague, told him I’m safe and that’s all that he needs to know. I emphasised that I’m emotionally drained and have nothing else to say. I mentioned to him that I’m gone for good though. I forwarded that message to my aunt too. That whole interaction drained my energy, so I was unable to update on how things went. Yet even then, my mother still hadn’t gotten it in her head that I was gone for real. I guess she realised couple of days ago when she saw me leaving the old house with my suitcase and duffel bag. Since she didn’t contact me directly, I felt safe enough to go to the house when she wasn’t there and get my stuff. She was on her way back when she saw me getting into the Uber. There was no big reveal lol. Better this way, I left quietly without fuss. I acted completely different to what was expected of me. No drama, no justification, no last words. I actually like that it went like that. I think it was very unsatisfactory for my mother, so another win there lol. At least her pride will not let her contact me - that would’ve hurt me before, but it works in my favour now. I also had my first therapy session on Wednesday 5th Feb. Went well, still feel weird about opening up. I feel so self-aware about who I am so it’ll be interesting to see if I learn more about myself. Unfortunately, with this being a free service, I only have up to 8 sessions (8 weeks). Then I’m left to my own devices. I was referred by my GP to a NHS wellbeing practice sooo I don’t know where I’d go from there. I don’t have the money to pay for therapy. After my therapy on Wednesday I broke my damn molar lol. I was eating and it went craaackkk. I had an ugly meltdown it was the last thing I needed. Luckily, I was able to get an emergency appointment for the next morning to get it removed because it posed a danger apparently. I didn’t wanna wait for severe nerve pain, so I opted for the extraction. That shit was sooo painful. I only received a local anaesthetic, but I swear I felt the pain. I (of course) tried to be calm but the sight of the blood being sucked away in those tube things made me feel faint haha (I could never work in the medical field). Anyway, it’s been 2 days since I’ve had it removed. I’m still swollen, still in pain. Haven’t eaten much, have an extreme fear of getting dry socket. Reading online about it hasn’t eased my anxiety lol. I don’t have much energy to make myself soft foods either, but I’ll try make myself some oats tomorrow morning. Speaking of dry socket, I’m not in throbbing pain right now. I’m fine. It’s been around 55 hours since the extraction. How much longer am I at risk for? I haven’t even spat vigorously or brushed my teeth properly (yuck) all that time - been very gently rinsing with warm salt water though. I hope I can go back to normal soon. It’s very very very lonely, recovering from surgery all alone on the first few days of moving out. Another good thing is that I’ve got a food bank voucher. It’s near where I live, and I was supposed to go there yesterday, but with my whole oral emergency .. alas. However, I hope to go next week when I feel better. They’ll give out essentials like rice, oats, sugar and pasta. It would really help me out. Anyway, my apologies if this was not coherent. I tried haha. My head’s killing me I need to take ibuprofen Mini Update Post: February 9, 2025 Editor's note- too long to include here. OOP is looking for a job but in the meantime found a place where she can volunteer and meet new people/network Update Post 5: February 11, 2025 (3 days from previous update) Title: 15 days since I left. Successful food bank trip today! Heyy! It’s the 21F from England who fled her abusive household. Call me Kenzie, I love that name ! So today, I had an appointment with a support worker from the charity that initially helped me when I fled. She was nice, expressing the ways she can support me. She’ll be able to help me with budgeting, going with me to grocery shop if needed , helping me brainstorm my next steps etc. I have another appointment with her next week! :) After that meeting, I went straight to the food bank with my voucher. Because the person who referred me (an employment coach I see alongside my therapist) specified that I am also in need of cutlery, pots and pans and all that, the food bank had SOOOOO much second-hand stuff ready for me. I was so geeked !! There was a kettle, plates, measuring cup, pans and pots, spoons and forks, mugs, teabags, sanitary items, even shampoo and conditioner! They went over and above and my heart is so full I’m so happy. Of course, there was the food too - lots of beans and tuna and mackerel as well as chickpeas, rice pudding, custard etc. Basically all the canned food you can think of ! I haven’t looked through the bags thoroughly, but I’m also hoping there’s rice and pasta too. It’s okay if there’s not, I can buy that myself :) (Also, my sister who lives in a different city is sending over a package of old pans and pots she doesn’t use either, so I’ll have more than enough to make all sorts of meals! I like lasagna, so I’ll probably buy a glass tray for that too idk if that’s what it’s called lol) Carrying all that back on a bus ride + walk by myself was extremely difficult, but some nice strangers helped me carry some stuff. Then when I was near the accommodation, I called my housemate (the girl who was lovely to me the first day I came here) and she helped without question, even bringing a little shopping trolly she owns to carry the stuff. She’s actually an angel, I felt comfortable asking for her help. I’ve reiterated to her that if she ever needs anything I’m here for her too. Anyway, all that stuff is stacked in my room now. I’m incredibly tired because as soon as I dropped the food bank stuff off, I went straight back out to do some grocery shopping (getting oil, milk etc) and those were heavy too. Came back and collapsed onto bed hahah. I have some more stuff to buy, like seasoning and whatever. But for now, I have enough to finallyyy make a good meal ! I’m so grateful and soo glad. I’ll give myself a break tonight, but tomorrow morning I’ll wash up all the cutlery I got from the food bank. I’ll clean the cupboards I have (I’ve got locks for them too so no one can steal my stuff yay!!) and put everything away. That way, my room can be free from any clutter. I also bought washing up detergent and liquid soooo I’ll do my laundry too!! I will also sign myself up at the nearby dentist and GP so I don’t neglect my health! Hoping to do that tomorrow :) Still haven’t heard back from the volunteering gig, but I’ll update with any news of that when I do! Hope to be back soon :))) Small update woke up this morning and washed all the cutlery I received! Put everything away in the cupboard, andddd yesss there were rice and pasta there too! I have enough food to last me over a week truly, so many combinations. There’s even a veggie curry in a can that I can heat up and eat with the rice! I’m so happy :) also there’s this one small glass oval thing that I have no clue what it is, is there a subreddit to find out the names of odd items? Google didn’t help lol I’m a bit confused -> edit I’m told it’s a lid for a casserole dish? Never would’ve thought Mini Update Post: February 15, 2025 (4 days later, 19 from OG post) Editor's note- unable to post here due to length, but OOP has reconnected with a friend who was able to help her when she needed some medical attention! submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
r/BestofRedditorUpdates LucyAriaRose Feb 22, 2025
Getting Wisdom Teeth Out in a Couple Days — Nervous About Post-Surgery Food Options
Hey all! I’m getting all four of my wisdom teeth out soon and am super nervous just overall but, being diagnosed with ARFID, especially worried about the post-surgery stuff. I can’t tolerate apple sauce, yogurt, smoothies, all those items oral surgeons including mine on their info sheet generally recommend to stick to after the procedure. One of my main safe foods is muffins? Is that “soft” enough? Has anyone else been in a similar predicament, advice or suggestions would be much appreciated. I also have never taken pills before—the whole concept makes me scared I’ll choke so if they give me any sort of pain reliever that might be an issue. I do have adult drinkable Tylenol (it’s meant for people that physically have issues swallowing) at home on hand though. Even though it’s not related to ARFID, if anyone has had a similar procedure done, all four wisdom teeth under IV-administered anesthesia, I’d love to know how it went for you. What is going under like and how long does the recovery take? If I’m in so much discomfort that I won’t feel like doing anything for more than two days that’s bad where I’m at right now. I’m on winter break from high school and have a decent bit of work/finals studying to do that definitely can’t be finished up tomorrow. Anyone’s input is welcome. Thanks! submitted by /u/Sergeantslender to r/ARFID [link] [comments]
r/ARFID Sergeantslender Dec 26, 2024
I (35m) was incarcerated and lost touch with (33f). It’s been over ten years. Would it be wrong to contact her now?
I am NOT OP. Original post by u/ThrowRA9478385939 in r/relationship_advice   Mood spoiler: wholesome, romantic, sweet This is the second, and seemingly final, update. Previous /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/ post is here. EDIT: This update was previously posted here, so, this is a repost. If you're familiar with the OP and the Update 1, scroll down to Update 2. I (35m) was incarcerated and lost touch with (33f). It’s been over ten years. Would it be wrong to contact her? - Originally posted Jan 19, 2023, then reposted to OOP's profile after being deleted Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my first language. When I was a university student, I fell in love with Daria (not her real name, obviously). She was the little sister of my best friend, so I considered her off-limits, but my crush on her persisted and grew. She’s one of those beautiful, brilliant people who is alive and breathing to make the world a better place—how could I not be drawn to that? One day, she told me she had feelings for me. And to my relief, my best friend didn’t have a problem with me dating his sister, either. So for two wonderful years, Daria was my girlfriend. I should have asked her to marry me. I don’t know why I didn’t. I suppose I thought I had all the time in the world. We were young and there was no need to rush things. We lived in a country that isn’t exactly democratic, and we were political activists. I ended up getting arrested and going to prison for nine years. (Please don’t think I’m some kind of monster for this. I don’t want to go into detail in case it makes me identifiable somehow, but we didn’t hurt anyone or do anything immoral. What we did is not even illegal in the country where I currently live, and our beliefs were far from extremist.) I haven’t seen or spoken to Daria since the day I got arrested. My best friend died shortly after, and Daria left the country, partly due to the possibility that she’d be arrested too. There wasn’t any way for her to contact me while I was in prison, though apparently she contacted my dad a few times in the beginning. Things got even worse in our country while I was incarcerated, so my dad and I emigrated when I was released. We’ve been living in Western Europe ever since, and life is pretty okay. I live with my dad, and I have a steady (if shitty) job. Months ago, I found Daria online. She lives in a neighbouring country, seven hours away by rail. She doesn’t use social media too much, but from what I’ve seen there’s no evidence of a partner or kids. And even if she’s married, I’d be content just to be her friend, as I was for the first years we knew each other. Part of me desperately wants to reach out to her, and my dad has been encouraging me to do so, but I feel like it’d be too selfish. The circumstances of her brother’s death were very traumatic for her and I’m afraid that I’m just a living reminder of all the bad things that happened to us. And if she does have a partner, would my contacting her offend him and trouble their relationship? I don’t want to cause her any more sadness. Time stood still for me while I was in prison, but I know it didn’t for her or anyone else. She’s done so well for herself, she’s built a whole life, and I don’t want to derail that life just because I feel entitled to a place in it. She might not even remember me at all. And even if she did invite me back into her life, I’d be nothing but a burden now, owing to my wrecked mental health. We’ve been apart twice as long as I knew her. Have I even the right to miss her as much as I do? For now I’ve contented myself with googling her name every so often and seeing that she’s okay. It just hurts a lot, and I don’t know how to make it not hurt. I still love her with everything I have. I probably always will. Should I reach out to her, or leave her alone? If I do contact her, what should I even say? TLDR: Unsure whether I should contact my old girlfriend now that I’m free from prison.     (Update) 1 (35m) was incarcerated and lost touch with (33f). I contacted her, and she responded. - Jan 26, 2023 The short version is that I was wondering whether I should try to contact my former girlfriend after I went to prison for a long time. The consensus was that I should, and people gave very good advice on how to do that. First, I want to say thank you to everyone who offered advice or kind words. I had spent so long feeling ashamed about my situation, and expecting most people to react very negatively if they knew. I had barely discussed it with anyone before, except my dad and people whose job it is to help me (lawyers, therapist, etc.), and I was very surprised to be met with so much compassion from a bunch of complete strangers. Thank you, truly. Several people asked for an update, and that’s the least I can do in return. I sent Daria a message the evening after I made my post. It was something like: «I don’t mean to intrude, but I wanted to say hello and thought I would give you my new contact information in case you ever felt like getting in touch. If not, that’s completely fine too.» I left her my mobile number and email address, wished her well, and that was that. I knew it might be a while before she responded, if she responded at all. So I tried to put it out of my mind. Early monday morning, my phone rang. It was an unfamiliar number from the country where Daria lives. Who else would ever be calling me from there? I panicked a little bit, but I managed to answer in time. She asked a few times if it was really me, and I couldn’t tell if she was laughing or crying. At first she called me by the very affectionate version of my name she used to. But then she quickly apologised and corrected herself, which broke my heart a little bit. It was an awkward phone call, but not in a bad way. I was extremely nervous, and it seemed like she was too. But happy, also. Some of you mentioned that Daria would want to know that I was safe, and this was more true than I could have guessed. Because unrest in my country increased a lot during the last year I was in prison, she was afraid that they would decide to quietly kill me rather than let me go. There are documented cases of other prisoners like me having met very suspicious ends in the months before my release, so it wasn’t a totally unreasonable worry. She also said she repeatedly tried to send me parcels of supplies and put money on my commissary account, but her attempts were rejected without explanation. After my sentencing, I was not allowed to receive correspondence or to have a commissary account at all, because of the classification of my crimes, so she was forced to give up. She told me this as an apology, as if I would have been disappointed with her for not helping me more. I had no idea she had done any of that. I do know that it was not a safe thing for her to do, and I feel terrible that she put herself at risk trying to make me a little more comfortable. She didn’t seem to want to talk about what happened any more than that, and so we didn’t. We changed the subject to more lighthearted things: our jobs, the cities where we live, how my dad is adapting to a new country, etc. When she arrived at work and had to end the phone call, she asked if I wanted to continue talking through a messaging app. Obviously I said yes, and downloaded it immediately. We sent messages throughout the day, and she even interrupted her commute home to send me a picture of a restaurant modelled after one of my favourite books, just because she thought I would like it. She told me that she thought of me every time she saw it, but unfortunately the restaurant itself was not so good. I was afraid she wouldn’t remember me, but she even remembers the things I liked to read? She remembers a lot of little things, even stuff I forgot. We have been sending messages back and forth ever since, and talking on the phone after I finish work at night, until she gets too sleepy. Sometimes it feels like I’m 24 and she’s texting me from a few blocks away, as if the next thing she might ask is what’s for dinner. Other times it seems like we’re trying to will dead versions of ourselves back to life in order to avoid acknowledging what we’ve lost. She seems a lot more timid than she used to, more passive, which I suppose makes sense. Sometimes I worry about how much I’ve changed, and that maybe she won’t find anything left in me that’s worthy of her. But if I could express in words what it feels like to hear her laugh, I could explain that there’s also a lot that we know very well. She hasn’t lost her kindness, or her warmth, or her empathy. She still cares about me, and I still care about her. I know that rebuilding a friendship after all that’s happened will take lots of patience, and I have plenty to spare. I’m just happy to have the chance to get to know her again. This morning, Daria asked if I want to have a video call sometime this weekend. I agreed, but I’m ashamed to admit that as much as I want to see her, I’m very nervous. I look so different than she would remember. My jaw is messed up, and I have the teeth of a hockey player. (Fortunately, I will qualify for healthcare insurance soon and be able to have it fixed.) I lost weight that I haven’t put back on, and I see an old man in the mirror. I’m also worried that I will get very emotional when I see her, and embarrass myself that way. I don’t really cry in front of people. I’m not used to it, and this doesn’t seem like a good occasion to start. Aside from not wanting to appear pitiful, I don’t want her to feel forced to comfort me. If anyone has some advice on how to handle this, it would be much appreciated. Overall, this week could not have gone better, and I am extremely grateful to everyone who gave me the little push of courage I needed to send her that message. A thousand times, thank you. TL;DR: I sent a message to my former partner, she was thrilled to receive it, and we have been happily getting to know each other once again. Edit: Just to clarify, she doesn’t have a husband or kids. As I said in my first post, I only considered contacting her because there was no evidence of a partner on her social media. But I understand that my first post wasn’t visible for a while, so I can see why that may not have been obvious. Sorry for the confusion.   Update 2 - Mar 23, 2023 I’ve had a lot of people ask for an update, so here it is. The last two months have gone by very fast. I told Daria that I was nervous about the video call, and she insisted on having it right away so that I could get it over with and stop worrying. Seeing her made everything feel real in a way it hadn’t before. She still looks like herself, or even more beautiful, different only in the sense that she is fully an adult now. The place she lives is very different from our home country, with a distinct culture to which she has assimilated. That she had time to adapt and feel completely at home in this place broke the illusion that no time had passed. In hindsight, that was probably the real reason I had been so nervous—because I could no longer occasionally forget myself and pretend that nothing had changed. The hardest part was not being able to reach through the screen and put my arms around her. Sitting there and watching someone you love cry, from a distance, is not easy. I barely noticed that I was crying too. She didn’t seem surprised at my appearance, but she did eventually look me over and ask if the food was shit where I lived. I explained about my jaw, and that I’m getting it fixed (less dental work is required than I thought, but I need a surgery). Her response was to ask for my address and order groceries to be delivered, including a lot of soft snacks that are easy to eat, and these meal substitution drinks that are actually tasty. She’s sent them every week since, even though I tell her it’s not necessary. When I wanted to pay her back, she laughed at me and said she owed me a lot of food, because I had kept her from starving to death in university. I loved being able to cook for her, and I suppose it makes her just as happy to feed me now. We talk every day, and have made video calls a regular habit. It does me so much good just to see her face, and the awkwardness is mostly gone now. It’s easy to talk to her. Last night, she brought her computer into the kitchen and talked to me while doing the washing up. It’s amazing how mundane things like that can make me feel normal, and at home, in ways I forgot I could. I never thought I’d be that stupidly happy to see someone washing coffee cups. I’m beginning to think that the idea of home as a physical place is a misconception. She likes to send photos, to show me where she lives, what her life is like now. She was curious about how things are the same or different here. I didn’t want to admit that I don’t have much of a life to share back. Going places just didn’t seem worth the effort. She is, though. At first it was very small things. She would send a picture of a pastry she’d bought at a cafe, saying that she thinks her city has better pastries than mine. I would go out and get one so I could send her a photo too. Then it was beer, which city has better parks, interesting architecture, a department store, and so on. I figured out quickly that she was trying to coax me into going out more, but I played along to make her happy. I’ve seen more of my city in the past month than the entire time I’ve lived here before. I’ve been to the art museum, and finally joined my colleagues for a beer. Usually, I go places for short durations at the less crowded times, but I’m still going, which is something. Daria used to be very sociable, so I thought that whatever happened, at least she wouldn’t be lonely. I was wrong. There is a lot she could never tell her friends, because they can’t relate. They would feel sorry for her and cease to be equals, she says. Our experiences are different, but we are more able to understand each other than other people could. And despite her own burden, she has quietly picked up half the weight from my shoulders without ever being asked to. I am in awe of her, simply for being the kind of person who would. For women’s day I sent her some orchids, and she was very happy that I remembered her favourite flower. The things I can do to make her smile are so small, and she deserves so much more than I know how to give her. But I would do anything for this woman, and I am learning. There are protests happening where she is, with riot police and tear gas. Whenever this happens, she feels nervous and has difficulty sleeping. Now, at least, I can stay on the phone with her at night so she’s not alone. Aside from the anxiety, there is also a sense of nostalgia. She talks about when that was us, making noise in the street. I’m glad she has good memories too, and doesn’t have to be alone with them anymore. Finally, the reason I am updating now: she is coming to visit. We were talking last night and I mentioned that a church near me has special windows designed by an artist she loves, and I was thinking about going to see them eventually. She said it would be unfair of me to go without her, so I invited her to come with me. And then somehow it turned from vague future plans to being scheduled for next saturday. She was going to come for the day, but I told her it was silly to travel so far to stay for such a short time, and suggested she stay the entire weekend. So she will be here from friday until sunday. I haven’t really had time to be nervous yet, but I’m sure I will. Thank you again to everyone who has given advice or encouragement. It is very much appreciated.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/JimmyRecard to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
r/BestofRedditorUpdates JimmyRecard Oct 29, 2024
People who got their wisdom teeth taken out, what has been your best drink to drink after your surgery/extraction? (And even days or weeks after)
I am currently on day 4 of post surgery, and I have been getting better. Regardless, I am still taking meds on a eriodical basis as I structes by my doctor. I have learned to make a smoothie (a long with eating soft foods) and personally, I am a strawberry smoothie type of person. I am not drinking soda (even if the maxillofacial center suggests that I drink a small amount) because soda has high amounts of sugar, and that might be a pain (correct me on this one.) I am currently drinking a strawberry smoothie that I made right now. It tastes sooo good, but sadly, I do not have any ice (not sure if I even want ice on it lol.) What was your best drink to drink after wisdom teeth removal? submitted by /u/Global-Plankton3997 to r/wisdomteeth [link] [comments]
r/wisdomteeth Global-Plankton3997 Jun 17, 2024
Soft foods to eat post wisdom tooth surgery
Hey everyone. I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed next month and I’m trying to put together a list of soft foods to eat after my surgery. If you could give me a list or a recommendation on what to eat or drink, let me know! Thanks☺️ submitted by /u/Alive_Price600 to r/VeganChill [link] [comments]
r/VeganChill Alive_Price600 Jun 15, 2024
I'm a PI and my client asked me to stalk her. It only got weirder from there
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Being a PI sucks. It’s not what you think. It’s pretty much harassing women. Men hire PIs to go harass their wives and girlfriends and once in a blue moon you get asked to find a missing dog, or to harass a man instead. But that’s it, really. Sometimes I’m looking for hard evidence of infidelity, but a lot of the time my clients just want to rattle the soon-to-be-ex. To make them paranoid and jittery and less reliable in a courtroom, or less likely to pay attention to small print agreements that stiff them out of the holiday home. So that’s my job. I’m a pawn and it is almost always on behalf of the kind of men who think women reading a book in public are secretly looking for male attention. I don’t have an office. I did for a short while. But things are tough, as I’m sure many of you know, and PI work isn’t exactly lucrative. I don’t know why I’m still doing this job, except to say I’m my own boss, and it’s not easy out there. I went into this with vastly different expectations. If anyone wants to hire someone who was convicted of insurance fraud while training to be a police officer, let me know. Otherwise I’m on my own, following people in cars and sleeping in dingy motels. So when someone reached out looking for a guy to stalk them, I just figured it was a fetish thing. I got a nephew who went to art school and makes big bucks painting cartoon characters doing fucked up stuff. He ain’t painting the Sistine Chapel, but he pays the bills and looks after his family. I figure if that work is good enough for him, it’s good enough for me. So I met the woman and was surprised at how normal she looked. It was in a public place, a park with a nice bench. And even though it was starting to rain a little we didn’t let it bother either of us. We sat there, two tape recorders running, and hashed it out. She said she liked me. If she hadn’t she wouldn’t have gotten out of her car. That was flattering coming from her. Good looking woman. Professional. I didn’t know at the time but I’d quickly figure out she was a forensic accountant. Anyway, we got talking. She never gave me her motivation, but I would later come to understand her as an amateur narcissist. She was new at loving herself. She was smart, accomplished, and actually rather beautiful provided you didn’t spend a great deal of time agonising over things like symmetry or eyebrows, and instead paid attention to how a smile reaches the eyes, or how laughter sounds when it catches someone by surprise. But she grew up dirt poor and spent her teen years unable to visit the dentist, or access a gym, or even just eat home cooked food that wasn’t microwaved. Plump frame, blotchy skin, hair she kept short with a pair of scissors because her and her mother relied on the shampoo and soap they stole from the motel where they shared cleaning shifts. When she fumbled awkward questions at some of the better looking boys in her class, she rarely met with success. That’s not to say she was an outcast, either. She had a social life. It’s just poor kids have to grow up early. Prom’s a luxury. Eating isn’t. If you know, you know. Otherwise you might be surprised by just how fucking tough it can be for some kids in this country. Anyway, she got out of that hole, fought tooth and nail, got an education, a good job, and by the time she finished her victory lap and took stock of her life she was thirty-five years old and a thousand miles from the trailer she was raised in. And she looked good. The woman in the mirror was a stranger that she wanted to get to know. I think hiring me was an act of self-love. I think if she could have, she would have sat in a car and watched herself get a cup of coffee, spying closely at the professional looking woman doing a little half-run half-skip to get out of the rain. The way she stood in line rocking back and forth on her heels to the music in her airpods thinking no one’d notice. She wanted to admire herself, but unable to time travel or clone herself, she instead resorted to hiring me as a kind of proxy. I had my own boundaries, of course. They covered anything that was gonna get me in trouble. The gist of the contract, after a nice week spent meeting after work and talking, was that I was to follow her as often as I could and just… observe her. Photos. Videos. Secret recordings. Occasionally a little bit more. Nothing physical. For example, one time I inventoried her handbag after she left it in a taxi by accident. I’m not a photographer, but something about all those knick knacks laid out on a motel bed snapped with a black and white polaroid, it looked good. Like something you’d see in a fancy gallery. Avant garde my nephew would say. She loved it. Paid me a bonus for it and everything. Anyway, this carried on like this for about six months. They were… interesting times. Tailing her across train stations, racing across open parking lots to install a tracker on her car, standing on a bridge and dropping an air tag in her bag as she walked past. It was a little bit like being a spy. She even paid for me to buy high end equipment. Crazy stuff. One camera, I could sit on my balcony and read the texts on her phone from a block away. Occasionally there were days where I couldn’t or wouldn’t keep up the required intensity. Stalking requires a lot of cardio. When that happened, when I didn’t feel like following her into a crowded place, or sprinting half-way around town following her car, I’d do research. I’d investigate who this woman had once been. I created fake Facebook profiles and tracked down old school friends, spoke to former teachers, lovers, all of that. The whole job was a matter of mapping her out, like she was a country, you know? And a country isn’t just hills and rivers and borders. Countries have history. She was happy with my initiative. The text she sent me when I showed her the research folder was a glowing commendation. First one I’d had in a long time. It was nice, someone telling me good job. She had a real way of making me feel like a kid getting a gold star. I didn’t realise at the time, but I was putty in her hands. Head over heels, bless my stupid heart. Of course I didn’t know what I was getting into, but I’d had just enough time to grow over confident. I made the mistake of thinking that I wasn’t gonna find anything in her past that’d give me trouble sleeping. Boy did I get that one fucking wrong. Her mother. That’s where things took an odd turn. Now I knew from news reports the mother died in their trailer while her daughter was off staying at some boyfriend’s place for a few days. Natural causes, it read. I wanted to know a little more about what natural causes they were. Figured if there was a congenital thing, it seemed like maybe I ought to know. You’d think the way the trailer park owner reacted to me asking about it, I’d tried asking the Russian government for proof of a democratic election. Thin reedy little woman who gave me hell the moment I mentioned a name. What do you wanna know that for? Who’s asking? Who’s paying you? Why you wanna dig this shit up? Oh she ripped me to pieces. I put it down to the natural sprinkling of crazies in the standard population and took a different tact. Started calling up the older folks in the park. Residents. Every single one of them put the phone down on me the second I mentioned her name. Well, all of them except one. Some people wanna talk and this old bastard was one of them. He had a lot to say about everything from the president to social media and I let him ramble on before starting to press my point. Told him at the start I was a historian looking into the local area, that made it so it wasn’t too suspicious when I began asking about this and that. Slowly making my way to the death of a fifty-three year old woman a couple trailers down from him some years ago. Again, soon as I mentioned her name, there was a change in the air, even over the phone. For a second I thought this old guy was gonna hang up just like the others. Could hear him smacking his dry lips as he mulled it over. “Francine didn’t deserve what happened to her,” he said after a while. “She wasn’t a good woman. Didn’t treat her daughter too good neither. But didn’t deserve what happened. Maybe if they’d found her earlier, some of those fellas in white coats could’ve got more evidence, put that little wretch of hers away. But from what I understand, weren’t much left of her at all.” Then he hung up, leaving me with a whole lot of questions. This frustrated me. I had, until now, had a fair bit of luck at this new profession of mine. They say be careful what you get good at. Sad truth was, I was getting good at stalking and this was my first real roadblock. I remembered the way I felt when she told me good job and it bothered me I couldn’t really say much about this critical part of her life. That and, well, maybe I still got a chip on my shoulder about being a failed policeman. If you give me a problem, I can sometimes drive myself crazy looking for a fix. So I hopped in my car and drove to the trailer park, damn near on the other side of the country. Don’t know I was hoping to find. No way the trailer was still there, and it wasn’t. But what I found odd was the lot hadn’t been replaced. There was a hole in the ground, about the right size, and nothing else. Just an empty spot where the trailer had once stood. And the trailers on either side weren’t occupied either. I could tell by politely and legally looking through the windows. Most of them were cleared out, but a few weren’t. They still had plates and other knick knacks left hanging around, like the owners had left without bothering to pack. “You shouldn’t hang around there, mister.” The girl who appeared stood a good twenty feet away, shouting over the wind so as to be heard. “Smell can make you awful sick.” I wrinkled my nose, aware of the odour she was talking about. Had been since I approached the empty lot. A faint musty smell that made me think of an exotic pet shop. “What do you mean?” “Smell makes you sick,” she said like it was self-explanatory. “Woman who died there left behind an awful stench. Made the neighbours sick. And the neighbour’s neighbours, and so on for a couple trailers in a row. No one likes to live there now. Still can’t. Had a couple move in a year or two back and they got sick too. Daddy says it’s a bad one. Not even rats go near that hole.” The smell wasn’t pretty, but this trailer park looked like the kinda place where hubcaps went missing regularly. Figured they would’ve been used to bad smells. What made this one so special? I looked over at the girl. “Where is your dad?” Few minutes later and I was stood outside a trailer waiting pensively. The little girl had disappeared inside to fetch her father and since then I’d been sat listening to the quietest trailer park in the whole world. Crickets and silence. Traffic on a distant highway. Place was dying, that much was clear. When the father finally did make an appearance, he said nothing for the first few minutes. Lit a cigarette, offered me one. I refused on account of having quit some time back. After a while he spoke up. “I’d invite you in but if you been hanging around that old lot, not sure I want you inside my home. No offence.” “None taken,” I replied. “Sally says you’re a historian.” The man wasn’t terribly old. Mid-thirties, at a guess, but he looked me up and down like I was a teenager caught throwing eggs at his house. “What’re you really?” “PI,” I replied. “Ha now that makes sense. Some relative looking for answers? Heard the Hendersons had a sister with money.” “That’s exactly it,” I lied. “She didn’t buy the official story.” “Nor should she,” he replied. “Henderson was fit as a fiddle day he moved in. Weren’t no justice in what happened to those who got sick. And poor Francine… They say she died of natural causes. Man even back then I knew it was shit and I was just a lil kid. The smell alone. Think it’s bad now but at the time, before they came in with a crane to lift the trailer up whole and move it to the dump. Shit it was something awful. There was talk of moving the whole park. Course no one gave enough of a shit about us to go ahead and actually do it.” “What did she die of?” “Don’t know. Only thing I am sure of is that that girl of Francine’s lied. Said her mother was live and well when she left before the weekend and they was all on good terms, but that was bullshit. We heard ‘em fighting for weeks before, for one. And of course the body, state that was in, ain’t no way it’d been rotting for just a few days.” He offered me another cigarette. I refused. He lit it up instead. Second one in what felt like just a few minutes. Made me itchy just to see. I wanted to say something, anything to get a little bit more. But I’d told a big lie pretending to be there on someone else’s behalf, and didn’t want to catch myself out, so I just sat and listened to the quiet buzz of his little patio light. After the second cigarette was done he reached into his back pocket and took out an old photo. “I hope you find justice for Henderson and the rest of them,” he said. “Only real bit of proof I ever had something fishy went on.” He handed me the picture. Wasn’t easy to see what I was looking at. Pile of old leaves, maybe. Mulch. I squinted at it for a few good seconds but couldn’t make heads or tails of it. “What…?” “Took that the day they arrived to get rid of the trailer. Had to stand on my friend’s shoulders just to reach.” “What is it?” I asked, my skin starting to crawl as I picked out details. Whatever I was looking at, it was slumped on a sofa with floral wallpaper in the background. It was about the size of a man, but riddled with holes and cavities the size of golf balls. In my whole life, I’d never seen something that looked like that. “Why that’s Francine,” he said. “Or at least what was left of her.” He let me keep the photo. At a guess, that was the only interesting thing that’d ever happened to that man and he’d been waiting to share it with someone. All I had to do was give him an excuse. He seemed to take some pleasure in passing it on. Certainly found my reaction to it amusing. I must’ve gone pale as I grappled with thoughts of what had happened to make a body go bad like that. Back in the hotel, under a good light, I checked that picture again and again. Something about it made me deeply uncomfortable. Knowing a woman was under all that… all those holes and crevices must’ve been made in her flesh. And what’d happened to her skin that’d turned it such a funny texture? Looked furry, like the kinda thing that grows on top of a long-forgotten cup of coffee. A part of me considered asking my client about this, but I knew that wasn’t the way to go. First, she probably wouldn’t tell me good job if I had to ask. She hired me to do a certain thing and that didn’t involve politely requesting information right from the source. Second, well… I’d read the police reports, what was publicly available, anyway. And she’d made it clear she’d left on the friday and came home on the Monday and… Well what if that guy was right? Did she really leave her mother alive and well? I mean, people kill. Not just psychos. People like you and me. We do it every day and sometimes we even pull it off. Only half of US murders get solved. That’s a fact. If anyone could be in the right half of that equation, it’d be her. She was smart as hell, my client. Even at seventeen she would’ve been a clever one. Clever enough that she might easily have been able to cover her tracks. Gone over to some boyfriend, twisted his arm into giving her an alibi. Sure, I could see that. I just needed to figure out what the fuck was going on with that crime scene in the trailer. Thankfully I got some friends still on the force, one of which I even have a bit of leverage on. At first he couldn’t find much on the actual mother, but then I asked him to see if he could take the photo I had, show it around, and see if anyone had seen something like it before. That proved a lot more fruitful. Few days later he came back with a strange one, but straight away I saw the connection. I’ll spare the details. Old man was found in a tub, all sorts of fucked up, in some old apartment building. It had since been condemned on account of the body which is fairly weird since bodies don’t usually cause that much fuss, but less weird when you realise that said body was in such a bad state it made three people sick and caused long-lasting structural damage. Whatever happened to this guy, it ate through the tub he’d been lying in and seeped into the floors and walls below. Turned plasterboard to shit and apparently even caused some trouble for the sturdier elements like steel and concrete. I don’t know how that works exactly, but that’s what the file said and going by the photos, I didn’t feel like anyone was lying. As for the pictures? What can I say? Made my fucking skin crawl. No blurry little polaroid snapped by a kid. These were professional crime scene pictures that showed something in a bathtub that didn’t register as human until my eyes went looking for details. He looked like a hairy paper-wasp’s nest, only there were fingers and nipples and other little things that made it clear it had been built using a person as the framework. No face though. Just a head like a pile of used paper plates. Looking at those photos made me learn a new word just to describe how I felt. Trypophobia. Wasn’t just the one guy either. Building was linked to the disappearance of the ground floor tenant. Some computer geek. I didn’t worry about him too much. But what did catch my eye was there was only one woman living in the whole place. Second floor apartment. The registered name was… somewhat familiar. Close enough to a certain someone’s that it raised the hairs on my neck. Police at the scene managed to get a photo of her and sure enough, there she was. My client going by a different name. Clearly something fishy was going on or else why the pseudonym? I figured it possible she’d maybe offed her own mother. Parents and spouses make the most common victims. But what connection was there to that second corpse, and what about the missing guy? It was like a horror movie was following her around and she was just blissfully unaware. Condemned buildings and festering trailers made for a far cry from the professional accountant who enjoyed oat milk lattes and used sweetener instead of sugar to spare her teeth. But there was no denying she was the connection. There was photographic proof she’d lived in that building. If I wanted to get ahead of this, to really understand what was going on, I had to figure out what had happened to those bodies. I’d pretty much exhausted my favours with the police and truth was they didn’t know any more than I did. But it turned out the building was still standing. Condemned, but they hadn’t demolished it, partly because no one wanted to take responsibility, but I reckon it might have had something to do with the biohazard warnings slapped on every single window and door. Good thing I’d brought a gas mask. I waited for sunset, geared up, and entered through the unlocked door. First thing that hit me as the door swung open was the smell. Similar to the trailer park but full pelt and hot as hell. Made me think of lizards and poorly kept terrariums. Strong enough to make my eyes water even through the mask. One thing was clear as I took a look around the hallway - the building was diseased. Not just rundown or decrepit like the usual urban decay. This was something else. Looked like the inside of a clogged pipe. You know how limescale fills it up? It was a bit like that. This oily rust coloured fluid had seeped down the walls and left them glistening and soft. Ropey stalactites of the stuff hung down from the ceiling like old party banners, and I edged around them afraid of what might happen if one touched me. Best guess was that stuff was digesting the place. Anything soft or organic was going or gone. Old umbrella frames were left standing in one corner, the fabric burnt or dissolved away. The carpet was reduced to just a few patches no bigger than my hand. And a bunch of old cardboard boxes piled up under the stairs had turned squat and half-liquid, almost flowing down and around each other. The worst came when I took a look in the back room. More of a broom closet, I guess. Wouldn't have gone in but something caught my eye. A well-worn shoe that wasn’t covered in that oily shit. Sign of recent activity. That and the way the door was ajar just raised my suspicions, so I took a look. Even now the timeline eludes me, but someone, a vagrant most likely given the way they were dressed, died a nasty death in there. Chemical burns come to mind. They were balled up in one corner, eyeless, looking up at me as I pushed the door open to take a closer look. Pink flesh threaded with red blood vessels, yellow bones poking through here and there. From the looks of things they’d been trying to work the door open. You could see a history of their escape attempts left by bleeding hands. Rust coloured finger streaks ran all along the door’s edges, special attention paid to the hinges. And he’d broken the only window and tried hauling himself up there only to realise it was barred from the other side. The jagged glass that still clung to the frame was covered in old blood. His palms must have looked like grated cheese. Eventually he’d given up and lain down in that shit and the thought of it made my chest feel heavy and tight. I’d only been in the building a few minutes and that shit was already eating through my shoes. I could hear the thick rubber soles sizzle and pop with each step. But that guy had been forced to sit down in an inch deep puddle of the stuff, likely because exhaustion had left him no choice but to tough it out. So how long had he tried staying up right? Hours? Days? Weeks? Him getting stuck in there had to be deliberate. I was sure of it. A feeling in my gut. Someone had locked the door behind him and left him to die slowly. God only knows why, but did that mean they were still hanging around and waiting for a chance to get to me? Looking around, I sure didn’t feel safe or alone. The shadows seemed too deep and the steady drip drip drip of that rancid oil oozing out of every surface was too monotonous. Someone or something lived in that filth and chances were they’d been responsible for that poor vagrant’s agonising death. That meant getting out of that shithole was a priority, so I made for the stairs and started the climb. If there were any answers in that place, it’d be in the apartment where that old man died. The crime scene tape was still hanging off the door frame when I found it, and the TV and sofa, or what remained of them, stood in the same place as in the photos. Back in the day the old man had been a hoarder and I was surprised crime scene hadn’t cleared all his shit out. It was all still there, only what had once been a chest high maze of papers and magazines was now just a kind of hardened pulp, almost like magma dried mid-flow. Whole fucking place was covered in the stuff like a coral reef, growing up the walls and even patches of the ceiling. Looked a hell of a lot like a wasp’s nest, and it looked to be the source of that oily looking fluid. You could see it sweating out of every crease and fold in that strange hive. It was almost hypnotic to look at. Glistening amber beads oozing out of papery sheets that flowed like rock striata. There was a gentle, barely perceptible rhythm. Hypnotic. I don’t know why but I reached out and ran the tip of my finger as gently as I could along the surface. It felt like the underside of a mushroom. All those papery gills. Gossamer thin. Soft and inviting. I wore no gloves and the brief moment of contact had deposited a single bead of that strange syrup on my fingertip. It caused a tingling sensation that was not entirely unpleasant. Even the blood that trickled down my knuckle felt warm and wet, like testing a hot bath with your hand. I liked it. I liked it and I wanted more. I went to reach out and push my arm into the nest when a hand burst out of the nest and gripped my wrist. I was so surprised I didn’t even make a noise, but instead wordlessly fell back as the hand pushed me away from the nest. A very nearly skinless forearm followed and soon after a face emerged from the papery nest like a grime covered nightmare. Black eyes and a lipless mouth. It was a man that could have passed for a corpse, like a half-digested piece of meat. Terrified, I struggled to my feet and realised that this person had broken damn near every bone in my wrist with that single grip. “Your meat smells raw,” he growled before heaving himself out of the nest in a disgusting parody of childbirth. My sanity flickered and the next thing I knew I was on the ground floor with bleeding eyes and both hands frantically pulling at the door handle. My mind returned in pieces. I blinked red tears away but didn’t stop trying to open the door. I felt it, that urgent need to leave, like a suffocating man feels the need to breathe. But I’d fucked up bad. I’d sniffed out the closet and saw the trap laid there, but hadn’t seen the larger one set for me. There was only one way in and out of that building and I hadn’t jammed the door open! Now it was shut and nothing I did could get it open. With more time maybe I could’ve pried the jamb or even kicked it down, but my heart was racing and my vision blurring. I wanted out of that place. A hot primal need to get the hell out. The air was too hot. My mask too stifling. Sweat condensed on the inner plastic and made it damn near impossible to see. And the pain in my wrist was a throbbing explosion that made sensible thought impossible. I’d realised early on into my little foray that I was underprepared, but the scale of what that meant eluded me until I was there wrestling with thoughts of exposure and contagion and disease, fumbling at a greasy doorknob with a broken hand while suppressing thoughts of what might be crawling up my leg or back or neck. Panic threatened to consume me. The world and all the normality it represented was right fucking there. I could hear it. The distant hum of traffic. The amber glow of streetlights that lit up the biohazard posters. Not thirty minutes ago I’d been there. Safe and far away from this waking nightmare. I was being reduced to a prey animal. Even in the moment I could sense it happening to me. Being made into something lesser, but it was like my actions were no longer my own. When I finally gave up on the front door, I turned around and saw the shadows way back at the hallway begin to shift as something descended the stairwell. There was no other way out. No door. No window. Just me, a long corridor, and a nightmare coming right at me. Something inside me gave up. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m still not sure if it was that building and that strange fluid that seemed to warp my own thoughts, or maybe there’s just too much one person can go through. But I could practically hear the thin membrane of my sanity tear as I fell backwards into the door and slid down onto my ass, breathlessly awaiting my terrible fate. I almost contemplated turning off my light but by then it was too late. I could see him coming towards me. He was legless. Nothing from the waist down except blackened viscera trailing up the stairs behind him. He pulled himself towards hand over hand with hungry eyes. Before I knew it he was on top of me, one hand gripping my mouth with a salty palm, the other stroking my hair. And then in an instant his demeanour changed. He pulled back with a terrified cry and scrambled away like I’d just stuck him with a blade. “No no no no no,” he muttered. “No no you should have said you should have said I didn’t know I thought you were another one I didn’t know I thought you were here for me I didn’t know you were hers.” He cowered away, pedalling on both hands backwards while keeping his eyes fixed on me. “Tell her I did not know you were hers I could not smell until I was close very close if I hurt you I am sorry tell her I am sorry I did not mean to hurt you it is just I do not get to eat often and am always hungry.” With a rapid gesture he threw the key for the door at me. It skittered across the floor and fell just short of my feet. “Tell her I did not know.” “W-w-w-what are you?” I stammered. He looked at me curiously, stopping his retreat only briefly to gauge my expression. “She likes to be seen but I looked without asking and I got what I deserve.” “Who are you talking about?” I asked. He very nearly laughed, but with such deformities it was mostly a drooling guffaw. “You know!” he gasped. “Don’t be stupid. You’re in love with her. Just like me. But different. You got permission. I didn’t. But she was good. She left me an old nest to live in. And I have permission to eat anything I kill or trap myself. Hard now that people know to stay away but sometimes I get lucky.” His eyes flicked to the closet with sickening hunger. “What has this got to do with her?” I asked. “What colour are her eyes?” he replied, almost manic with excitement. “Answer. Answer. Tell me. Tell me. What colour are her eyes?” “G–” I stopped. The word felt wrong in my mouth. “Bl– “Bro–” “No no,” he chittered. “None of those.” Seemingly excited but afraid, he raced forward momentarily and gripped my lapels with twisted glee. “Compound,” he hissed with such forbidden pleasure. “Her eyes are compound. She’s jealous of us, you know? “Jealous we get to love her.” And then he disappeared into the darkness and something inside me gave way entirely and I passed out. I don’t know much of what came after, exactly. I was found a few hours later in my car, idling at a traffic light. I’d made some effort at getting away on my own but didn’t get very far. No surprise here but I got sick as a dog going in that place. A deep chest infection. The kind that scares everyone at least once in their life. Only fair given how fucking stupid I was. But forgive me, I hadn’t anticipated nightmares beyond human comprehension. I challenge anybody to think that fucking far ahead. You think junkies. You think flies. Squatters. But that guy… that man slipping out of the nest and barrelling towards me on two hands. My mind going sizzle pop along with the soles on my boots. In real life, shit like that always sneaks up on you. So I paid the price. Six months. Jesus. Six long months. I got every fever you can think of. Sepsis. Kidney failure. Liver failure. Month after month drowning in my own fluids, coughing up shit that made the nurses gag and leave. I asked the doctor what the long term effects will be and he winced before reading a list of things that didn’t leave much hope for a happy retirement. And if it was hard on my body, it was even worse on my mind. Those fever dreams… doctors say what I remember in that building, that was all just part of the sickness. Say I spent a good three days in a coma and strange dreams are the norm. Which I might accept if it weren’t the fucking skin graft still healing on my right hand. No one can explain that. My client visited. Just the once. There are universally sad moments in life and one of them is realising someone you have a lot of affection for doesn’t have it back. They have some. Just not the same amount. It was always one way though, wasn’t it? I saw her every single day but if I was doing my job right, she only saw me once a month for our meetings. Our arrangement ended not long after, so I hope anyway. She left like it was nothing but me… ah Jesus it felt like someone excavated my heart right out. Even after what she told me why she was there, even after what I did, I could barely stand up straight I was so heartbroken. There were times after that I wished the sickness would just take me. Maybe that defeatism is why it got so bad. Who knows? She came to me looking for a recommendation, of all things. She wasn’t cold. Far from it. But there was a sense of disappointment as she sat beside me and eyed me up. “I liked the initiative,” she said after a while. “But the results leave me unimpressed.” “What the fuck happened in that place?” I asked, and even though I could barely hear my own voice, she seemed like she heard every word. For a moment, the way she contemplated it, I thought I was gonna get a straight answer. “You know my mother said men don’t see ugly women. They know they exist but they just poof them right outta their mind. Like a magic trick. She said we worked better being a little plain. Good enough to take home for a night. Any more and we’d start to leave problems everywhere we go. That guy was a problem. She was trying to warn me about the dangers of attention but silly me, I went and got addicted. I hoped with you there might be a degree of… separation. Infatuation on a contractual basis.” She took a deep breath like she’d had a long hard day. “I don’t know. Maybe Mom was right. It’s ridiculous, I suppose. The fly shouldn’t admire the spider. It either sees it and fears it, or doesn’t know what’s coming until it’s too late. I think Mom was telling me to go for the latter. It’s no fun being invisible though. You spent all that time looking at me. Following me. What did you see?” I looked at her until my eyes watered and something throbbed in my skull. “I don’t know,” I tried to lie. “Be honest.” She looked right at me and something in the air changed. I don’t know what. Hot. Jesus it was hot. Like looking at the sun. I remember the heart rate monitor going nuts and then… then I remember gossamer wings and serrated chitin. A tick on the inside of your cheek. A leech on your tongue. A horsehair worm that won’t leave the skin. And then an instant later my eyes refocused and there was just a normal woman in front of me. “Someone I could have loved,” I answered, unable to stop the words spilling like vomit. “Someone who I thought deserved love.” “See,” she said. “Who wouldn’t like your version better?” I was crying again. Heart racing. World like butter, going soft at the edges. Whatever she did, it was like undergoing brain surgery in real time. “I’d like a recommendation,” she said after another minute or two of silence. “I’d like to see myself. I look in the mirror and I don’t see what you do. I’d like an artist to paint me. A version of me, at least. It won’t be easy on them. All this time you’ve probably looked directly at me for no more than five, ten minutes in total. Just didn’t realise it. Always the back of my head or my hair obscuring just so. That won’t do. I want a portrait. I want to know what you see.” “What will you do to them?” “I won’t do anything. Not intentionally. But if you ask someone to paint the sun, expect them to go blind. Whoever paints me will be painting the sun in their living room. Going blind is the least of their problems. Now, fess up. You know someone. You mentioned them once in passing. A cousin, maybe. An artist in need of cash. I’m sure of it.” “Why would I tell you anything?” “Because you love me,” she said. “And because despite everything you will get better and you will come back to me. Year or two, I think. You are adamant I have no hold on you, and you will think that for a long time. And this period of freedom, you’ll enjoy it only by my good grace and mercy. You did a good job. Better than any before. I’ve read your notes and reports over and over and seen details of myself I didn’t even know were there. It’s a thing of beauty, what you did. And one day soon you’ll come back to me with some excuse for why you want the contract to continue.” I tried to spit the word never but managed, at best, a weak shake of the head. Something that put a most peculiar smile on her face. “It doesn’t work like that. It’d be like trying to brute force your way through Alzheimer’s. You’ll be back. Even now you’re mine. All mine. I’m just being gentle. And you’re going to give me the name and number of this artist because even though you know I could no more love you than a spider loves the fly, you are desperate to please me. Because when I broke the man in that apartment building. When I tore him in two and told him that he would live for as long as I desired, writhing without air for years and years, drowning in sickly fluids and trapped helplessly in a hive he is determined to maintain even though I wouldn't be caught dead going back there. He was grateful. And, with time, you’ll be grateful too.” She put the pen in my hand. She smiled, mouthed the word good boy, and God help me… I gave her my nephew’s number. submitted by /u/ChristianWallis to r/nosleep [link] [comments]
r/nosleep ChristianWallis May 3, 2024
Soft Nutritious Food for after Surgery
Hi! I'm getting oral surgery in a couple days to get a few extra teeth removed from under my gumline in addition to my wisdom teeth. I'll be restricted to soft foods for 7-10 days post so I was wondering if you guys had any good recommendations? I'll take whatever you got. submitted by /u/Mikas0-0 to r/veganrecipes [link] [comments]
r/veganrecipes Mikas0-0 Jan 7, 2024
my boyfriend is getting all of his teeth removed, as we speak
I've been in the waiting room trying to distract myself for the past 4 hours. The nurses just asked if I could come help him take a "bathroom break." It was terrifying seeing him in that state, all drugged up and in pain and, probably not sad but so empty looking. I'm not sure why I feel this way, I think to me it's like a mirror to the future when we are both too old to use the bathroom ourselves. I hope the procedure finishes soon, I made sure to get all the best foods and movies for later. (I feel guilty for feeling upset, I didn't expect to feel any kind of way at all) Update: I can't thank you enough for the kind words, personal experiences, and advice ♡ He got out of surgery about an hour after I posted this, feeling much better! Completely back to his normal cheerful self almost immediately. Apparently he woke up close to the end of the procedure, they had two implants left to drill in - Somehow he was able to deal with 15 minutes of pain until they finished. It wasn't long after this when I was called back to help assist in the bathroom - no wonder he looked so worn out. For those curious, he had all teeth removed due to Aggressive Periodontitis. We are fortunate to be able to have secured a loan to cover the rest of the costs our savings can't for permanent implants. Of the 10 they drilled in, 4 were on top and 6 on the bottom. Also, thank you for all the concern over his diet! We have apple sauce, soups and ice cream, as well as protein shakes, smoothies, Gatorade and other similar liquid-esq options. We have a follow up appointment scheduled for two weeks from now where they should tell us that he can start eating soft foods like mashed potatoes, noodles, cooked vegetables - and I am willing to take suggestions for more :D (Side note: I can't believe he is getting his temporary teeth in tomorrow, only one full day without teeth, crazy) submitted by /u/SeaJayy_23 to r/self [link] [comments]
r/self SeaJayy_23 Jan 25, 2023
I think my wife replaced our pets.
I was sitting at home on my computer when I noticed my dog benny staring at me through the window. At first, I shrugged it off figuring he was doing weird dog things, but after a few minutes he hadn’t stopped staring. Feeling uncomfortable I looked around my office to see if there was something weird he was looking at. I couldn't find anything. When I looked out the window again I didn't see him anymore. Concerned I got up from my desk and headed out the door in the living room into the backyard only to stumble on the doorway and smash my knee against the patio. I had been having a clumsy week already, but this was the worst by far. As I lay groaning in pain I saw Benny staring at me from across the yard. "Just let me lay here then." I groaned. I got up and headed inside. After I bandaged my knee I heard my wife's car roll up and I headed out ready to tell her about my weird day. Those thoughts were pushed from my mind as she jumped out of her truck and ran towards me. "I got a promotion!" She said pulling me into a hug. "I'm the lab director now." "Holy shit." I make pretty decent money training managers for a large restaurant chain, but my wife completely puts me to shame. She does classified quantum physics research for the government. A promotion in that field is huge and meant we would likely be able to retire early. Needless to say, my worries about benny were temporarily forgotten. I opened a wine bottle to celebrate and we ordered food from our favorite place. After we ate dinner, and the good news had settled in my mind I was reminded of Benny's odd behavior again. He had eaten his food and was now standing in the middle of the kitchen frozen in place. When I asked my wife if something seemed odd about him she told me he seemed fine. I couldn't help but notice how quickly she changed the subject. Benny continued acting odd for the rest of the night. After I brushed my teeth I looked out of our bedroom and spotted Benny standing motionless at the end of the hall barely illuminated by our bedroom's light. "You good buddy? He stayed frozen continuing to stare directly at me. Feeling weirded out I ended up closing the bedroom door that night. The next day while I was at work, I told my coworker who has six rescue dogs about Bennys weird behavior. “He could be in pain.” My coworker said as he ate his sandwich. "Was he moving weird?" “No when he moved he seemed fine, I wonder if he’s sick or something.” “Well you said he was eating… maybe take him to the vet, but this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten paranoid about something silly before.” “Like what?” “Remember that time you drove to the ER because you thought you had chest pain.” I cocked my head at him and pulled down my shirt revealing the scar that runs along my chest. I was born with a deformed heart and it required three surgeries to repair it. Even still I have to take 4 different medications to prevent myself from keeling over. “Gee I wonder why I’d be worried?” “Okay, but that time it was in your head right?” He looked down at his plate. “I’m just saying you get a little obsessive sometimes.” For the rest of the day, I began to doubt myself and figured maybe I was just being paranoid. After all, benny had been behaving mostly normally, and he seemed healthy, maybe he was just doing weird dog things. When I got home however it became apparent this was not the case. When I stepped in the door Benny didn’t come to greet me as he normally does. I looked around but I didn't see him anywhere. He wasn't out in the yard and he wasn't in the living room either. Feeling worried I began to search through the house looking for him. Finally, when I opened up the closet door in my bedroom I found him sitting motionless in the corner of the closet amongst a pile of old clothes staring right at me. "What are you doing in there?" I laughed feeling distinctly uneasy. He continued to stare at me. After a few moments, I shook my head and left the room. I went to my office and tried to get to work finishing up my presentation for the next day. Usually, I’m good at keeping myself focused but when I’m stressed or tired I tend to procrastinate a little more than I should, and I found myself doing just that. As I browsed memes I stumbled across a funny image of two fat black and white cats with the caption “Last month my cat disappeared. A week ago I found him and brought him home. Today my cat came back. Now I have two identical cats.” The picture was funny, but a troubling thought popped into my head. Would I know if benny got replaced? He was a black dachshund and those guys are generally pretty hard to tell apart. I laughed the thought aside at first and got back to work. Later that night as I talked to my wife in the kitchen I spotted Benny by the oak trees at the edge of our yard sitting motionless. Normally when he’s outside he runs around or chases the cat, and avoids the tree line in general. Now he was just sitting there. “See I’m telling you there’s something up with benny,” I said pointing out the window. “Oh,” My wife said. “I’ll go get him it’s time for his dinner.” It was not time for his dinner, and besides, I'm the one who is supposed to feed the pets. Before I could say anything my wife immediately opened the backdoor and walked towards him across the grass on her bare feet. She picked him up and carried him back into the kitchen, and then immediately began talking about how she was probably going to be in Nevada for a week due to her promotion. “So you don’t think anything’s wrong with benny?” I said cutting her off. “I think he’s fine.” She picked him up and rocked back and forth in her arms. “He can just be a weird wiener sometimes.” I narrowed my eyes but dropped the subject. For the rest of the night, my wife seemed strangely nervous. Any time I would go near benny or catch him looking at me I noticed she would wring her hands a little bit and get twitchy. Any time I spoke she seemed on the edge of her seat as if expecting me to bring up Benny's weird behavior again. Later on, that evening as I carried a load of laundry I spotted our cat scruffles at the top of the stairs. She glared at me standing unusually still and then walked away. “You’re not acting weird too are you?” I shook my head. I probably was being paranoid about her, cats act weird regardless. Still, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Benny’s behavior. I closed our bedroom door again while we slept. The next day at work I spent a lot of time googling strange animal behavior. Wondering if maybe benny was in pain from some health condition I texted my wife about maybe taking him to the vet. To my surprise, she responded right away. “Of course. I get off work early today so I’ll take him as soon as I get home.” That was weird. She was so eager now, and when had her work ever let her out early. Maybe her new promotion gave her more flexible hours. When I got home my wife was waiting for me and told me Benny had a clean bill of health and that the vet said it was normal for dogs to act a little weird sometimes, especially if their owners are acting unusual. “Hint hint.” My wife said in an overly cheery tone elbowing me in the side. “You’re just being neurotic and it's freaking him out.” I sat in my office ruminating for a bit after dinner. Benny was still acting strange, and Scruffles. She had been distant as well. Just sitting around upstairs or disappearing outside. The image of the two black cats ran through my mind again. I pulled out my phone and scanned through my photo reel. I had pictures of the two of them from before they started acting weird. I searched through the pictures looking for any distinguishing marks. Benny was pretty much entirely black all over, and none of my photos showed any particularly distinguishing features. Scruffles had slightly more variation but I had so few pictures of her. Her face was gray and her fur was white. If someone wanted to go through the effort our pets would be easier than most to replace. I shook my head. What was I thinking? The idea that my wife had replaced our pets was ludicrous. What possible reason would she have anyway? As I stood up from my desk I noticed a strange sight outside. Both Benny and scruffles were seated out by the trees at the edge of our property. What were they doing? I opened the door and stepped outside. When they spotted me they both turned and walked away. I walked over to the place they had been standing and stared at the ground. It was hard to see with the evening sun blinding me, but the ground looked normal enough. Dead leaves laying atop dirt like the rest of the yard. I turned around feeling as if someone was staring at me, and saw benny looking at me from about 10 feet away. I stared back, for a moment we just looked at each other, and then he turned away. I approached him. I had been avoiding him since he started acting weird, but now I wanted to look at him. He stood in front of me motionless. His coat, his size everything about him looked as I remembered, and yet something wasn’t right. I knew my dog, I knew Benny, something was different that I couldn’t describe. I felt no connection no familiarity. ‘Benny’ turned his head and began to growl staring straight up at me. I rushed back inside and into my office, locked the door, and sat down in my chair feeling sick. What was wrong with him? I pressed my face into my hands. I wasn’t considering the idea he was replaced? I sat for what felt like hours trying to think of what could have happened to be making him act this way. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way my wife was acting. Every turn she seemed to find some way to minimize or avoid talking about the pets. What did she know that I didn’t? When the hell had this started anyway? I tried to remember any funny behavior from either of them. Scruffles was always neurotic and shy so it was harder to notice differences, but benny. Benny had been acting differently since… My thoughts trailed off. I could remember some of last weekend but most of it was a hazy blur. I remember thinking I might have Covid feeling exhausted and staying in bed all day. On the next Monday, I felt much better and took a Covid test, which came back negative. What had happened that weekend? Had something transpired while I was in bed? I felt like something else had happened but I couldn’t remember. I racked my brain, but all I managed to do was give myself a headache. As I sat slumped in front of my desk I became aware of a muffled voice coming from the rightmost wall. I perked up and moved closer. My wife’s office and mine share a wall and sometimes she has meetings or phone conversations so hearing her muffled voice isn’t that unusual. This time I felt like eavesdropping. I picked up my empty water glass and pressed it to the wall listening intently. “I told you I don’t know.” My wife said There was a pause as someone on the other end spoke. “Look I told you I’m sorry, but it actually fucking worked okay!” My wife said forcefully. After another brief pause, she spoke again softer this time. “Yes, I know he suspects something, don’t worry though I’ll deal with it.” My wife sighed and I heard a clunk as she set her phone down on the desk. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. She was hiding something from me. She had done something to the pets. I hid out in my room the rest of the day feeling sick and almost forgot to take my heart medication. My head hurt and I didn't even want to look at my wife or my pets now. I tried to convince myself this was about something else, but it all added up. What could I be noticing besides the way Benny was acting. I couldn't dismiss it now. I went to bed the latest I could that night. ‘Benny’ stared at me as I climbed the stairs to our bedroom. My wife was asleep or pretending to be and after I closed and locked the door I curled up in the corner of the bed trying to think about what I should do. I didn’t have any answers the only thing I wanted was my pets to be okay. I also needed to know what the fuck my wife had done to them. The next day at work I wasted the entire morning frantically googling strange pet behaviors. I only retraced paths I had already gone down, and by the end of the morning, I felt frazzled and angry with myself for not getting anything done. During my lunch break, I decided to go for a walk and try and clear my head. Stress wasn’t good for me especially given my weak heart. It was cloudy out and the wind was picking up as I walked circles around my work building still ruminating. As I circled back around the other side of the building I noticed a man in a blue coat standing across the street. When I looked over at him he turned away and walked off. Had he been watching me? I tried to shake the paranoia from my mind, but after overhearing my wife’s conversation last night I couldn’t be sure. I circled the building again looking for anyone else out of the ordinary, but I didn’t see anything. As it neared the end of my lunch break I headed back towards my office building's entrance. As I passed by the bike rack, I felt eyes on me from across the street. I spun around and saw a different man turn away and walk in the other direction. I felt like I was losing my mind. I ran back inside and headed straight for the restroom. Maybe there was something off about my appearance and it was drawing attention. When I looked at myself in the mirror I looked normal though. Hell, I looked good! Way better than I felt at the moment. I didn’t get any work done for the rest of the day. Instead, I obsessively looked over any pictures of my pets trying to see any differences and checking out the window looking to see if anyone was watching me. By the time I got home, I was a nervous wreck and I locked myself in my office and closed the blinds. When I looked out into the yard I saw “Benny” was seated motionless by the trees again. That evening was tense and quiet. I tried to act normal when my wife came home but I could tell she knew I suspected something. I spent most of my night alone in my office occasionally looking out the window to see if anyone was watching me. When it came time for bed I waited for my wife to be asleep. It took a while, but eventually, her breathing became slow and steady. Once she was out I got up from the bed and crept out of the room. I didn’t want to disturb the ‘pets’ so I moved as silently as I could creeping down the stairs onto the main floor. After checking the hallway I made my way to my wife’s office. I cracked the door open and peered inside illuminating the room with my phone's flashlight. It looked as it normally did, a singular desk covered with a mess of papers with her laptop placed haphazardly atop them. I didn’t know what I was looking for honestly. I crept around the room looking for anything out of place that might signal what she had been up to. There were piles of papers many of them likely classified documents that were probably illegal for me to read. As I lifted her computer looking for anything I heard a familiar click clicking sound of claws on the wood floor. “Benny” was walking down the hall towards my wife’s office. I was uneasy around him in the day, but at night when I was somewhere I didn’t belong hearing his footsteps sent shivers down my spine. I turned around. I had left the door open and he was coming right for the office. I opened the closet at end of the room and ducked inside crouching down in the corner. As I leaned back against the wall something large fell off the shelf. “oof” I caught my wife’s backpack just before it hit the ground and it held it and myself perfectly still. I could hear ‘Benny’ outside walking around the office. I heard him come right up to the closet door. After a few sniffs, he turned and walked away leaving me alone with the backpack. After I couldn’t hear him anymore I relaxed and looked down at the backpack. Maybe there was something useful in there? I unzipped the top section and rooted around for a few moments before pulling out a lab report with a plastic binder. Normally I would have just ignored the lab report, but the title caught my eye. “Practical application of massive information transfer on macro scales (Real quantum teleportation)” “Real quantum teleportation?” I muttered thumbing through the paper. Most of it was dry and boring and I didn’t understand what I was reading. It wasn’t until I went back and reread the abstract that things started to make sense. “It is notable that this is different from a general understanding of teleportation as the matter is not moved anywhere. Rather the original remains while an exact structural replica is created (given sufficient working material). This has not been successfully performed on any object exceeding 11.75 kg” Exact structural replica? I reread the passage. 11.75 kg was a little over 20 pounds. Last time we had weighed benny he’d been about that weight. It felt like a knife had been run through my gut. I stumbled to my feet and pushed the closet door open stumbling into the office. If I was understanding things right this technology created exact copies. What better way to test the efficacy of this kind of technology than on small animals. And what would you do with the originals if you didn’t want your husband asking why there were two copies of his pets wandering around. I could barely breathe. This couldn’t be happening. I ran out of my wife’s office and out into the backyard. I had to do this I had to know. I ran straight towards the strange spot at the end of the property, that our ‘pets’ seemed so interested in. The ground was dark and covered with leaves, so I illuminated it with my phone's flashlight. I could see it now, where the earth had been disturbed. The leaves covered it, but something was buried out here. I was crying now as I clawed the dirt with my hands. I didn’t want to see them like this but I had to know. Like a maniac, I scooped handfuls of dirt away pulling back the earth to reveal what my wife had done. I stopped when I reached something soft. My insides were ice and my hands were shaking and nearly numb. With a gentle hand, I brushed aside the dirt covering what lay beneath the soil. Black hair, a pair of sunken eyes, and grimaced white teeth stared up at me. A human face. My face. I stood up. The wind blew softly driving away the smell of decay. I looked down at my dead face trying to understand. My heart thundered with power it should have never had. There was no pain, no shortness of breath. The heart that had been born deformed, the heart that I had feared every day might fail on me was not the one that beat beneath my chest. With a shaking hand, I touched my chest. The scar that run up the center of my breastplate moved easily beneath my fingers as if the wound was only ever skin deep. A hundred little things about my body that had felt off for the past week suddenly came to the forefront of my attention. The lines on my hands were wrong, the moles were in a different pattern than I had remembered even my teeth were in slightly different positions. I dropped to my knees in front of his body. My face stared up unseeing into the night. As I knelt there I heard the faint crunch of leaves as Benny walked across the yard towards us. The entire time I had felt wrong, so I had projected the feeling onto two creatures who had known something wasn’t right and hadn’t pretended otherwise. My pets hadn’t been replaced. I had. “I'm sorry buddy,” I said as benny whined and pawed at the ground by Dave’s face. “He’s gone.” I think I understand now, or at least kind of. The teleportation thing wouldn’t have worked on a full human, but it would work on a brain. I think I was a clone of Dave originally perhaps made for future organ transplantation or just for experiments. When Dave died of a heart attack my/Daves's wife must have teleported his brain structure into mine. I look like him I have his memories, but I’m not quite him. I don’t know who I was before this, and I don’t know if it matters. I kinda get the feeling that my wife wasn't supposed to do what she did, so maybe I was a top-secret experiment. The implications of the technology and the ethics of human cloning terrify me, but I have Dave’s life now and I’m okay with it. The pets have warmed up to me more as time has gone on. I think they understand he’s gone, but I’m here now and I act just like him. In a way, you could argue I kind of am him, but that doesn’t quite feel right to me. My wife clearly wants to hold onto that idea. I haven’t let on that I know, hell I still take the sugar pills that she replaced my heart medications with. I think the people who she works with have to have figured out I know by now. I’ve taken up running after work, and now and again I’ll catch a strange person staring at me from across the street. submitted by /u/chubnrub to r/nosleep [link] [comments]
r/nosleep chubnrub Mar 22, 2022
Soft protein after surgery
Hey everyone! So I just had a gum graft and I have to eat soft foods for 15 days. My doctor gave me a little list of examples I can eat but most of them are boiled veggies or soft carbs. He told me specifically no steak, poultry, or food that requires significant chewing or are hard. He did say that salmon, sole, or trout are okay fish to eat since they’re softer. However, fish in generally is pretty expensive per lbs where I live. Do y’all have any suggestions/recipes to share that A. Won’t break the bank B. Easy to chew? Thank you in advance! EDIT: thank y’all so much!! My grocery store didn’t have any tofu (small town America over here lol) but I’ve stuck with broth soups and protein yogurts and am very excited to start eating soft foods tomorrow! I never thought I’d look forward to being able to eat an egg and lentils/beans. I’m gonna order some tofu this week and give that a try! Also, I saw that some of y’all are about to be going through or will eventually be going through a similar procedure. Despite some soreness and a weird feeling on the top of my mouth where they took the new gum from, I’m feeling great! The procedure itself was super quick. 10/10 would recommend instead of running the risk of losing teeth. Thank y’all again!! submitted by /u/blackCatbutt to r/EatCheapAndHealthy [link] [comments]
r/EatCheapAndHealthy blackCatbutt Jan 20, 2022
First Contact - Resurgence- 524
[first] [prev] [next] Vuxten limped into the command center, looking around for the Duty Officer. He motioned at a Treana'ad behind the desk, one Staff Sergeant Nan'Tz. "Where's Lieutenant Grentip?" Vuxten asked. "He stepped out to grab us all some dinner, sir," the Treana'ad said. The com clinked and he grabbed it before the second chime. "Headquarters, First Telkan Marine Division, Staff Sergeant Nan'Tz speaking. How can I help you, sir, ma'am, both or neither?" Vuxten waited for a moment as the Treana'ad Staff Duty NCO forwarded the call to the Bravo Company HHC barracks. "Sorry about that, sir," the Treana'ad said. "It's been hectic tonight." "I understand. Who's handling ground to orbit commo?" Vuxten asked. "5th Signal Brigade. They're on the other side of base, though," the Treana'ad said. "Anything I can help with, sir?" Vuxten nodded. "I need to put a call through to General NoDra'ak as well as Division Command and whoever's handling MEDCOM out here," he said. The Treana'ad nodded. "General NoDra'ak and his command staff are actually ground-side, right here at this base," he said. "The MEDCOM Commander is at the base hospital." Vuxten sighed, glanced at Casey, who was standing against the wall with a neutral expression. "I think you better put me through to the General first." "Which one?" The Treana'ad asked, putting his hand on the comlink. "General Vrawgarkwa, she's the current Division Commander," Vuxten said. Nan'Tz motioned at the ring on the floor by the wall. "I'll shoot it over there, sir." Vuxten moved over and stood in the ring, activating it with his implant. The security came online. Someone would be able to tell who he was, and that he was talking to someone, but not who and not intercept any data or listen in on the conversation. He waited while Staff Sergeant Nan'Tz put through the call. Vrawgarkwa answered, dressed in a PT uniform, her hair messed up. "Yes, Captain?" "Ma'am, I've just come into possession of what I think may be critical data," Vuxten said. Vrawgarkwa narrowed her eyes, then shook her head. "You've got a devil's slice of luck, Captain. Let's hear it." Vuxten inhaled, then launched into it. "Currently, the SUDS inoperative and the cloning banks all keep locking up when we try to make any clones. I heard something about clone geneseed contamination," he said. She nodded slowly. "Lance Corporal Casey has a 'no cloning' profile," Vuxten said. "Before you discount it, hear me out. If Casey gets cloned on an unauthorized system, it blows out the cloning array. Sometimes not just the one used, but the entire base cloning array and the local SUDS node all slag down." Vrawgarkwa rubbed her face and looked more intent. "Wait, isn't Casey the Novastar VII pilot? The Ringbreaker Class guy they dropped on planet when we first got here?" "Right!" Vuxten said. "Everyone looks at that and says 'well, that's why the system slags down' but what if it's not?" Vuxten pointed at Casey, making it so Casey could hear him. "Did you have to get cloned tissue or blood before you went Novastar?" he asked. "No, sir," Casey said. "Not until I took a load of shrapnel to the chest." Vuxten turned back to the General. "See, ma'am. They didn't try till after he went Novastar pilot. What if the problem isn't just the Novastar template, but his origins?" The General made a motion and looked off to the side. She obviously scrolled through something then narrowed her eyes. "Casey. Home of Record: Rigel-5 dot Sierra Charlie." Her eyes narrowed further. "SC? That's not one of the moons. Hang on," she made a few more scrolling motions. "His home of record is Rigel-5, his Point of Entry is one of the space stations orbiting the Harkgawarka moon. No address listed. No mother and father listed." She made a humming noise, one of the musical sounds that a stressed or deep thinking Rigellian female often did. "Ask him where he's really from. He's a Rigellian citizen, but I'm not seeing a place of birth or location of schooling, just that he tested and provided documentation of homeschool equivalency." "He said he's something called 'Tabulan' when I asked," Vuxten said. General Vrawgarkwa froze. Her protective clear inner eyelids clicked down and her lips firmed up and pressed together as she gave a sharp hiss. "Are you sure he said Tabulan," she asked carefully. Vuxten motioned again. "Casey, where did you say you were from? Exactly. Your birth people. A martial people, right?" Casey nodded. "Blathmin Township, Bhaile-Prime, Tabula-929 System," Casey said. He gave a smile. "We're kind of a martial people. We're not part of the Confederacy. I haven't really thought of them too much in a long time." Vuxten turned back to the General. "Did you get that." She blinked her inner eyelids and nodded slowly. "Yes. Yes, I did," she leaned forward. "Are you anywhere near a creation engine of any class?" Vuxten looked around. "No, ma'am. Well, there's a Class-I Nanoforge in the corner, basically a hard copy printer." She nodded slowly. "All right. Good. Keep it that way." Vuxten nodded. "I will. I think I know what's happening with the clone banks. Or at least, I've found something out that might point us in the right way. He said his people left Terra back when it was called Earth and haven't had any genetic modification." She nodded slowly, still protecting her eyes. "What if it isn't the Novastar impressions on his DNA? What if it's the fact he's got Old Earth DNA?" Vuxten said. "Why would that do it?" the General asked. "Can Terrans still throw lightning?" Vuxten asked. She shook her head. "No." "The Imperium guys could. They're all Old Terra DNA, and I've seen them throw lightning. They're psychic, big time psychics," Vuxten was talking rapidly now. "I've even heard that humans aren't supposed to be throwing lightning. I overheard that there was consideration of pulling Terrans off the battlefield till some kind of psychic suppression could be enabled after Terrans started showing psychic abilities during the initial Atrekna attacks on Hesstla." The General frowned, then nodded. "OK." "I checked. You can't run off an old style human. I looked up someone called Herman "Khan" Noonan-Melville and asked it I could run a VR or clone of him to ask him questions. I was informed that due to about eight pages of legal jargon that I couldn't because he would be considered dangerous," Vuxten said. "He's from just prior to the Glassing. I checked on a few famous Terrans after the Imperium Era, and I could run off VR versions, but nobody pre-Glassing." The General nodded. "I'll alert Smokey 'No. You're onto something. There's data out of the First Battle for Hesstla that you don't know," she reached out and grabbed her adaptive camouflage top. "Clear a SCIF room with a Whiskey Clearance." "Maybe the MEDCOM commander?" Vuxten suggestion. "Among others," she said. "Read this. Decide what to tell Lance Corporal Casey. Then you make sure Casey can't access any creation engines and keep your eyes directly on him." "Yes, ma'am." "General Vrawgarkwa, out." The call terminated. The field wouldn't let Vuxten leave until he read the file. Sighing, he opened it up and looked at it. It was read-only, retinal-link only. It was only two pages. What he read made his blood run cold. He deleted the file and counted to five before he let the security field drop. "Fun call, sir?" Casey asked. "Not really," Vuxten said. He moved over to Staff Sergeant Nan'Tz. "I need a Whiskey Clearance enabled SCIF cleared. Coffee, donuts, cigarettes, and some Liquid Hate." "Yes, sir," the Treana'ad said. "I'll be right back," Vuxten said. He motioned to Casey. "Come with me, Marine." Casey grinned. "You know, technically, I'm not a Marine. I'm a soldier. Army." Vuxten just nodded, pushing through the door. Across the street was a large field used for morning PT (Physical Training) that was empty, big enough for a Battalion to hold PT or do a PT test in. Vuxten walked across the parking lot, across the street, and kept going until he was in the middle of the field. He looked around carefully. The nearest vehicle was at least a hundred meters away. Nothing easily damaged. Local equivalent of grass with dirt underneath. Casey walked up and looked around. "OK, sir, what's going on?" "You're from Tabula-929," Vuxten said. Casey nodded. "Yes." "Have you ever been back?" Vuxten asked. "Once. After my first ten years. I was exiled though," Casey said, his face tightening. "I'd accepted longevity treatments as part of my enlistment requirements. They exiled but didn't excommunicate me." "You joined because of a woman? Suicidal?" Vuxten asked. Casey shook his head. "No. I wasn't suicidal. It was just... everything was too small suddenly. We're an emotional people, it's part of our culture," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "It wasn't that long ago that we still did Carousel. Dead at 31." He looked up. "I was in the militia already," Casey said. "I don't really think of it that often any more," he gave a sigh. "She had flawless blue eyes, hair so black it was almost blue. Her laugh brightened everything. She loved Old French poetry and British Empire epics and would read them in their original languages. She painted little ceramic figurines. She wanted to be a potter. We met in school." Vuxten stayed still. "We were young, we were in love, but the Genetic Pairing Council paired her up with someone else," he gave a sigh. "She was happy with him. They completed each other. I was happy for her, but I still felt lost and adrift without her. The Genetic Pairing Council Computer said there were no viable matching for me that year, try again next year, so I left." He shook his head. "I took a junker out. Junkers showed up like once or twice a year and I got lucky. I was wandering around the old spaceport, which largely went unused for anything really, we were isolated and happy that way. When we got to Rigel-5, I discovered that as a Tabulan I had dual citizenship due to the Foundation Documents." "And you joined Space Force," Vuxten guessed. Casey nodded. "I needed somewhere to belong. I belonged back home, and I missed it. So I joined up." "And you went back later?" Vuxten asked. "Once. After my first enlistment was up. I did ten years, got a waiver for my other forty years of obligation, and went home," he sighed, made a fist, and looked at his forearm. "I'd taken longevity treatments. It was part of the benefits." He relaxed his fist. "I wasn't even allowed out of the space port. I got back on the junker and left, came back, signed back up and the rest is almost forgotten history," Casey said. "Never went back?" Vuxten asked. Casey shook his head. "Exile. I appealed it, they pointed out that my DNA was altered and I could no longer father children. It wasn't that I broke a religious tenet, it was that I broke a social tenet," he shrugged. "Water under the bridge, sir." Vuxten waited a minute. "There's something you need to know. Something nobody told you because nobody knew to tell you," he paused. "It's classified data. If they don't want me sharing this, then they can file court martial charges on me and be damned with them." Casey shook his head. "Sir, whatever it is, I doubt it's worth your career." "It has to do with Tabula," Vuxten said. "What? They joined the Confederacy?" Casey gave a slight snicker. "I can see the Blood Council bending to the Confederacy's Twelve Basic Rights." "It's gone," Vuxten said, just ripping the bandage off. Casey froze. "Wiped out. Completely. Recon showed that the planet's dead. Barren. Just a few destroyed cities covered by shattered domes, dirt, and weeds. Not a single living being beyond bacteria and small water and soil based organisms," Vuxten said. Casey clenched his fists. His eye began glowing amber. "It looked like, to the recon team, that it was a Lanaktallan bioweapon attack," Vuxten said. "Like the Talmonus Harmony," Casey said. Sparks popped off his fists and his eye glowed red. "All of them?" Vuxten nodded. "I've seen a few datapics. It's bad." "How long have you known?" Casey said. His voice was like rocks grinding together. "I was just informed. Your home of record is listed as Rigel-5. Nobody knew you were from Tabula," Vuxten said. "The only reason I knew..." "Is because I told you," Casey said. He closed his eye. Vuxten could still a faint red glow, see the soft illumination of the human's eyes. "That's why you brought me out here. To make sure I didn't break anything," Casey growled. "In case I lost control." Vuxten shook his head. "No." Casey opened his eye. "No?" Vuxten pointed back at the HQ building. "There's Mantid and Lanaktallan and Tnvaru working in that building. All of them are sensitive to psychic emanations. To strong emotions. Yours are an emotional people, like mine, and I didn't want you to inadvertently cause a psychic injury to someone who was over sensitive and not protected by a psychic shield." "You aren't protected, sir," Casey said, closing his eye. "I stood next to Enraged Phillip when the guns were pounding and the Dwellerspawn screaming, with my broodcarriers beneath my feet. I've felt Bellona's cold touch upon my cheek," Vuxten patted the magac stubber at his waist. "I carry the weapon of Bahram the Persian Fury that I picked up when he had fallen and have been called Brother by Osiris of the Warsteel Flame. I carry an eight thousand year old weapon that cannot be left in an arm's room or else it affects the other weapons, that pulling the trigger causes spikes in the psychic shielding." "But that is not why I am out here with one of my men," Vuxten reached out and touched Casey's arm. "I have no fear because I will stand with thee, together, before a malevolent universe," he quoted. "I misjudged you, sir," Casey said. He gave a deep, hitching sigh. "All of them?" "Yes," Vuxten said. "I'm sorry." Casey looked up at the sky. At the clear, beautiful night. The core of the Milky Way galaxy shining, the illuminated nebula to the east, the dance of an aurora to the North. Pinpricks of warships in orbit and the twinkle of satellites. "In the holos, it would be raining," Casey said. Vuxten touched his implant. "Want me to call planetary weather control?" Casey suddenly laughed and shook his head. "With our luck we'd get hit by lightning." Vuxten waited for him to stop laughing. Then he waited quietly as Casey pulled a bottle of pills out of pocket, dry swallowed one, and put the pills back in his pocket. "Will you be all right?" Vuxten asked. "Do you want to go talk to the chaplain?" "Tomorrow. I'll go see her and Mental Health tomorrow," Casey said. "I'm hurting, but it's a phantom ache," he gave a chuckle. "My heart hurts. The cyberware says there's nothing wrong, but it hurts. Not my heart, not the one in my chest with the cyberware, but my heart heart." "I get it," Vuxten said. He looked at where a staff car with a general's flag fluttering on the front was pulling into the headquarters. "Sometimes I remember Telkan how it was, before the Precursors, before the Dwellerspawn, and all I remember is the good things." "How her eyes were a perfect, flawless, warm sapphire," Casey said softly. "And how warm and safe it felt in bed with my wife and broodcarriers, when all our world was just that little apartment and each other." ------------------- "That has got to be the most disconcerting thing I've seen in my life and I was infantry," Smokey 'No said, lighting a cigarette. "You said it was an emergency," Trucker said from over by the sandwiches that had been set down by a Marine private. The entire back of his head was exposed warsteel, the plate removed to show complex electronics and cerebral tissue. "You could have put the back of your head on," Smokey 'No said. "Chromium Christ on a pogostick, I can read your thoughts." "Then don't look," Trucker said. He put the sandwich on the plate and sucked sauce off of one finger as he turned around. "Oh God," Smokey 'No said. "That's even worse." The synth-flesh had been peeled back from around Trucker's eyes and forehead and the heavy skull plating removed, exposing the internal systems as well as cerebral tissue for the frontal lobes. Trucker's nose was an open cavity with psuedo-tissue, his top peeled up over the top of his head, and NoDra'ak could see the human's upper mandible and teeth. "I'm going to have nightmares," NoDra'ak said, puffing smoke rings from his footpads. "Don't be such a sissy," Trucker said, moving over and sitting down. When he walked by Smokey 'No shook his head. "At least you put on your uniform," the big Treana'ad said. "Thought about coming here in the hospital gown and showing everyone my ass, but Doc Resists told me to put on my uniform," Trucker said, pulling out the chair and sitting down. "Plus the chair would be cold." "Thank the Digital Omnimessiah for small favors," Smokey 'No said. He turned to the russet mantid doctor. "Thank you for coming." "I'm banging my head against the wall anyway," she admitted. She lifted up a ball of water the size of a baseball and sipped at it, the magnetic system in the 'leaf' it was sitting on keeping surface tension. "Three days and I'm no closer to figuring out why he's got one green light." "What about any other humans?" Smokey 'No asked. "We have exactly four, counting the one that caused this meeting," Resists said. "The other two have green lights also, but as they are largely fully human, unlike General Trucker, I would have to do major surgery to get such easy access to their brains." "What there is of it that doesn't go clank clank clank," Trucker shrugged. He reached up, fumbled for a second, and grabbed his upper lip. "Oh God, don't," Smokey 'No said. "Hang on," Resists said, getting up and moving next to Trucker. She slapped his hand. "Stop that, you'll rip your lip." Vuxten and Casey walked in just as she pulled Trucker's face down, the missing plating causing sags and hollows in the skin. "Wow," Vuxten said, his eyes wide. "Um... are we interrupting?" Smokey 'No tensed slightly, glancing at Trucker, who didn't move, just held still as Resists adjusted the fit of his face. "Nope," Trucker said. He lifted up the sandwich and took a bite. "Just making sure that C-DAT doesn't spill chewed food everywhere or drool on the table," Smokey-No said. He gave a theatrical shudder. "How is that somehow worse?" "Stop whining. You sound like an enlistedman pulling guard duty in the rain," Trucker mumbled around the mouthful of sandwich. He pointed at a chair. "Pull up a seat." Vuxten grabbed Casey's arm, pulling him down and close. "Can you behave yourself?" Vuxten asked. "I didn't know he was going to be here. Can you control yourself?" Casey nodded. "I'm... numb. I hurt, but I can't really process it." "Are you sure?" Vuxten asked, glancing twice at Trucker to prove a point. "Peel's alive. Even if she wasn't, I have to forgive him, and right now," Casey shrugged. "I have to forgive the Lankys too," he sighed. "And myself. That one's going to take longer." "All right, if you're sure," Vuxten said. "If nothing else, I expect you to maintain military discipline." "I'm sure." Holding onto Casey's sleeve, Vuxten moved around the table, then stopped and stared at the back of Trucker's head for a moment, his eyes wide. "Can you read his thoughts?" Smokey 'No asked. He'd noticed that Casey and Trucker were militantly ignoring one another. "Hey, mind your own business," Trucker said, then took another bite. Vuxten shuddered and sat down. Casey waited till he was done, then sat down next to him right as the door opened and General Vrawgarkwa came in. The General went over, poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a donut out of the box that had the BobCo logo twinkling on it, then sat down. "Eh, this is enough. Anyone else shows up, we'll catch them up to speed," Smokey 'No said. He pointed at each person, including the three SUDS and Clone Systems commanders, and introduced them, finishing with Casey. "Our resident Ringbreaker," Colonel Rantle-221 said, nodding. Casey just shrugged. "I informed him what happened to Tabula," Vuxten said. Smokey 'No cocked his head. "I wasn't aware that information was cleared for general dissemination." Casey shrugged, looking calm, but Vuxten saw him clench his fist hard enough a red spark popped out. Vuxten kicked him under the table and Casey relaxed his hand. "The Lance Corporal's place of birth is Tabula-929," General Vrawgarkwa said. "He holds a dual birth citizenship with Rigel-5 due to some old treaties, so that was listed as his home of record." "The Red Cross/Crescent should have been the one to break the news," Smokey 'No mused. "I thought it was better coming from me," Vuxten said. He sat up slightly straighter. "As his Mental Health Sponsor as well as his friend, not to mention his superior officer in the Telkan Marine Corps and his Corps Sponsor, the duty fell upon me to inform him." Smokey 'No gave a sigh. "Oh, relax, Captain. I'm not going to second guess the man on the ground," he looked around. "All right, let's hear this, General." "I'll let the Captain explain it," General Vrawgarkwa said. Vuxten launched into the whole thing, including how he knew, from conversation, that the old Imperium of Wrath and Imperium of Light couldn't be cloned or brought back by SUDS, how Casey having tissue cloned would blow out the SUDS array and local node, how the Novastar Program used native psychic abilities and amplified them for suit use, how the Crusade Troops, especially the NekoMarines, used psychic abilities. He laid it all out, thinking quickly, categorizing it in his mind before laying it out. "...with that, I'm of the belief that there's some kind of hardwired patch on our side to keep the SUDS system and the cloning system from running off old pre-Glassing or Glassing Era humans," Vuxten said. "I checked, and the LARP Systems for a few places don't have that, since they use pre-Glassing DNA for clones and the like, but those are also altered with a tag on the end of the DNA to let the system know it's a LARP regrow." Resists sat there, watching, nodding. "It all fits," she said. She tapped the table and then tapped her bladearm against a control. The holoemitter in the middle lit up, showing a scan of a human brain. "This is the brain of a wounded Terran soldier on Hesstla. Now, this information is still being gone through, there's literally years of data that they accumulated that, due to time dilation effects, we have only had two years to examine." The scan suddenly morphed. "Right there is where the SUDS suddenly all went down," she said. "Soon afterwards, the cloning banks all slagged down. She pointed at Trucker. "The single green bar means that the integrity of his SUDS scan is good. The fact the 'transmit' and 'up to date' quiklights are flashing red means that something is still happening with the system." "Do we know why?" Smokey 'No asked. "No. Whatever it is, it hit all at once. There's rumors, rumors mind you, that someone is somehow fixing the backbone SUDS hardware," Resists said. "I thought nobody knew where it was," Trucker said, breaking his silence. He hadn't said a word the entire time and had avoided looking at Casey, who had ignored him. "We don't. Since the Glassing, it's been patches laid on patches to make the whole thing work," Resists said. "I never realized how fried out and cludgy the system was until I started to do a deep dive into information on it. Worse, it's almost as if the information has been deliberately suppressed." "Makes sense," General Vrawgarkwa said. "That's always been humanity's biggest edge." Vuxten barked a laugh. General Vrawgarkwa turned to Vuxten. "You disagree, Captain?" "I know I'm the new kid on the block, but I disagree," Vuxten said. He waved his hand at everyone at the table. "There's ten of us here. Two are human. The rest are all different xenospecies. That is humanity's biggest edge. The ability to bring different species together." General Vrawgarkwa smiled. "That's something we debate at 1AM in the O-Club after a night of drinking, Captain," she looked at Smokey 'No. "You're buying." Smokey 'No made a face. "There's also the interlocks to prevent more than one copy of a person to exist at the same time," Resists said. "Which means the interlock and patch I'm looking for could be wrapped up in another patch." "You're looking for old patches," Trucker said, his face wrinkling oddly. "Right after the system was up and running again." "Makes sense," Resists said. She looked at Colonel Rantel-221. "We'll get our people together tomorrow morning." "Sounds good," the Colonel said. "That mean I can go back to the hospital and finish up?" Resists asked. Smokey 'No nodded. "What, something wrong with my good looks?" Trucker asked, smiling. It made his face bunch up strangely and his upper lip slid slightly over the nasal passage of his skull. "Oh, God, stop that," Smokey 'No shuddered. [first] [prev] [next] submitted by /u/Ralts_Bloodthorne to r/HFY [link] [comments]
r/HFY Ralts_Bloodthorne Jun 26, 2021
Retreat, Hell - Episode
A/N: Hey, guys! Normally, I'd hold off until Saturday morning to post this, but I'm going to be busy the rest of the week and won't be able to do much posting, so here you guys go, a little ahead of schedule! Coming in at 16,673 words, it's not the longest episode ever, but it's still on the longer end! In this episode, we get more running, a special marching cadence, and a few big reveals. Plus some bitter-sweet and happy squad feels at the end. There are only two main episodes left in Act III, then we'll be back into the war with Act IV. I've already got a lot of Episode 16 written, though if past experience is any indication, it'll probably still double in word count from where I'm at now by the time I finish fleshing all the scenes out (and I'll always have a few unexpected scenes crop up before I'm done). How soon that'll all be done is still hard to say. Work is still keeping me pretty busy, and every time I think things are going to ease up or settle down and give me more free time, it doesn't. On another note, I'd like to hear from you guys on what brought you to RH, or how you heard about the story, and what some of your favorite parts of it are so far. I can't promise I'll give you more of everything you love (and I can't please everyone), but knowing what you guys enjoy, and what you think is good helps me know what I'm doing right, and what I can focus on to continue doing good. I really look forward to hearing your feedback! Here is the Patreon post for anyone who wants it in one solid block. Now, without further ado, what you're all here for: Retreat, Hell – Episode 15 [First][Prev][Next] ​ “Give me that old Marine Corps Spirit!” ​ “GIVE ME THAT OLD MARINE CORPS SPIRIT!” ​ “’Cause it’s good enough for me!” ​ “’CAUSE IT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!” ​ “It was good for Chesty Puller!” ​ “IT WAS GOOD FOR CHESTY PULLER!” ​ These people run too gods damned much! Rinn panted as the battalion thundered around the base on their morning death march. And oh, look, here we are, running past our barracks again, getting our hopes up just to dash them… He stifled a whine. At least today they’re cutting the run short for helicopter training. When this is all over and done with, I don’t ever want to run again… ​ ​ *** ​ ​ “Hahahaha! And the looks on their faces when we went evasive!” Edison kissed his fingertips and flared his hand as he backed through the bunk room door. “Perfection!” ​ “Nah, the best part was old Shields here,” Kawalksi threw a heavy arm around Rinn’s shoulders, nearly causing him to stagger into the door frame. “He was all stony faced, like, ‘I’ve done this before, this is nothing exciting,’” Kawalski said, putting on a fake deep voice. “Even as the huey went sideways!” ​ “I was trying not to throw up…” Rinn admitted, flicking an ear at Kawalski as he trudged back to his rack, sore, tired, and trying to pretend that his legs weren’t all wobbly after the day’s aerial adventures. ​ “Yeah, what’s the straight-horned one with all the “that’s what she said” jokes, Tyaytyay?” ​ “Tyehtyeh,” Rinn corrected. ​ Kimber gave him a “whatever” wave. “Yeah, him. He puked his guts out all over the tarmac three feet after he got out when we landed.” ​ “Ha! He did better than old Stuffy McStuffyface, threw up in mid-air!” Kawalski chuckled. “Projectile vomited when we went evasive! Though, we were horizontal at the time, so it mostly just went straight out the door!” ​ “Mostly my ass!” Kimber said. “I was sitting at the down door when he spewed! He puked all over the back of my helmet!” ​ “Hahaha, yeah, it was great!” Kawalski grinned. “You should probably go clean that off, though…” ​ “Yeah, no shit.” ​ Rinn sighed as he popped his boots off, wriggling his toes and savoring their freedom. The human boots fit better than any other pair of boots he had ever been issued, and they had mostly broken in by this point, but they were still combat boots, and didn’t quite match his foot shape. He pulled his shower gear out of his pack, looking forward to a hot soak, only to watch a parade of four Marines scramble past, already half undressed and dibsing the showers first. ​ He sighed, setting his shower kit at the end of his rack before digging out a pen and notebook. It’s probably best to go last, anyway, now that we get more than five whole minutes of hot water… More time to soak. ​ “More English lessons?” Bradford asked, leaning over to look at his notebook as he flipped it open. ​ “Yeh,” he yipped, still amused the Gyani word for ‘yes’ was so close to an informal English word for the same. ​ “And what’s the word of the day?” ​ “What is the word for…” he frowned. “It is a place in a home where you build a fire…” ​ “A fireplace?” she asked. ​ He flicked an annoyed ear at her. Of course that would be a word they used… “Yes, but… no, that is not the meaning I’m looking for.” ​ “Mantle?” ​ He shook his head. “No, that’s not it, either. The place where the fire is, the foundation, the hearth.” ​ “The hearth?” she asked, and he sighed. ​ I should have just led with the word. The words were different, but the meanings were identical. Not everything translated so well, but many words did. “Yes, that is the word. Hirth…” ​ “Hearth,” she said, emphasizing the vowel sound. ​ “Hyarth.” ​ “No, no y, stop putting y’s in everything.” ​ “YI Dyon’t knyow whyat you myean,” he yipped in heavily accented English, flicking an ear at her and sticking out his tongue. ​ She laughed, then grabbed her pillow and swung it at his head, barely missing as he fell to the side. “Now try it again, you guber.” ​ “Ha-arth,” he said, drawing the vowel out as he sat up. “Harth.” ​ “Close enough,” she said, chuckling. ​ He flicked his ears up with a smile, and jotted down the phonetic spelling in Gyani. ​ “How did you say your word for it?” ​ “Sfyisch.” ​ “Ssfayeesh.” ​ “No, sfyisch.” ​ “Sfwitch?” ​ “No, it’s not a hard tch, it’s a softer sch.” He considered for a moment. “It’s like a hissing tch. And its yi,” he yipped the short vowel sound, “Not uuhhhhwwweeeee. Stop flapping your big, fat lips.” ​ “Hey, you got lips, too, dumbass!” ​ “Yeah, but they’re not so fat and poofy, like yours!” He flicked his ears at her. “You look like you got stung by a bee.” He flicked an ear to the side. “Or a dozen.” ​ This time, the pillow did catch his head, and sent him flopping to his rack. “Oof.” ​ “Who’s got big lips now, bitch!” she said, puffing her chest out and swaying her head back and forth. ​ “I don’t know, was that your lips or your pillow you hit me with,” he said, sticking his tongue out at her, promptly earning himself another bonk. “Oof.” ​ “And just for that, you’re gonna have to wait until I’m done with the shower,” she said, hopping up and snagging her toiletries bag as a gaggle of half-dressed Marines chased each other out of the head. ​ Rinn chuckled as he tossed her pillow back on her rack and sat back up. That’s just more time for me to soak… ​ “Hey, have you guys seen my Switch controllers?” Kimber asked, digging through his pack. “I can’t find them anywhere.” ​ “Where’d you have them last?” Dubois asked, not even looking up from the boot he was cleaning. ​ “I could have sworn I put them back in this pocket,” he said, tapping a pouch on his pack. “That’s where I keep them, but they’re not anywhere…” ​ “You can borrow mine,” Edison said, once again performing surgery on the squad’s GoPro. He gestured absently at his pack. “They’re in the clip-on bag, somewhere…” ​ “Thanks, man, but… I wanna find mine.” ​ “D’you think someone might’ve, like, grabbed ‘em by mistake, brah?” Stevens said, pulling on a clean shirt. ​ “Or not by mistake?” Miller asked. ​ “Yeah,” Elder said, looking up from his phone. “We had that platoon thief a while back, remember?” ​ “Dude, that’s why you need to carve your name into them,” Davies said, lying on his rack playing his own Switch. He lifted his hands to show his name carved into the same kind of controllers Rinn had seen Kimber using. “That’s what I did with mine.” “I had my name on them, man, in sharpie.” ​ “Yeah, but sharpie can come off,” Edison said, still focused on the GoPro. “Alcohol or a dry-erase marker can do the trick.” ​ Kimber grumbled something, and started expanding his search area. ​ “Hey, Shields,” Kawalski said, dropping down next to him. He only had his boxers on, and was still a little damp from the shower. “Teach me more keshmin swear words! How do you say fucknugget?” ​ Rinn raised an ear and an eyebrow at him. “We don’t have that one.” ​ “Well, come on, then, what else have you got? I’ve got a new one for you! ‘Twat!’” Kawalski grinned. “Means ‘pussy’ in English English.” ​ Rinn flicked his ear. “Is that how you use your words words, when walking down the street street?” ​ Kawalski laughed. “No, fuck face, it’s English spoken by the English, as opposed to real English spoken by Americans.” ​ Rinn paused, pen in mid-air, and stared straight ahead for a moment. “Wot?” ​ “Kawalski, you dumbass, the English invented the English language,” Dubois said. Rinn didn’t even need to look at him, he could hear the eye-roll. ​ “Guys! Guys!” Gomez stuck his head out of their supply fort. “I found some boxes we missed! They’re full of fucking duct tape!” ​ “No shit?” Kawalski said, immediately distracted by the prospect of creative acquisition. “How much?” ​ “I dunno how we missed it, hoss, there’s boxes and boxes of this stuff! Different colors, too!” ​ “Sweet! Grab us all a roll! Jabs, too!” Kawalski paused, then stood up. “What all colors are there?” ​ “Dunno yet, I haven’t gone through all the boxes, but there’s a few at least.” ​ “Lemme see…” Kawalski disappeared into the fort. “How the hell did we miss all this… Oh, I see, it got buried behind the fuck tent.” ​ Dubois looked up. “Why do you have a fuck tent?!” ​ “Dude, you always need a fuck tent!” ​ “Who the fuck are you fucking!?” ​ “Your mother! Heheheh!” ​ ​ *** ​ ​ Rinn pulled the earmuffs off his head as the firing line was declared cold. The new earmuffs they had been given had deeper cups with more room for his ears, but they still didn’t fit well. We’ll have to talk to somebody about getting some properly designed for us, he thought as he trudged down range to collect his targets. The Marines had scrounged up a few more of their pop-up metal targets for the “new” range, but they were mostly still shooting at paper targets tacked to wooden frames. ​ Back at the tables behind the firing line, Rinn looked over the keshmin targets with a pleased quirk to his ears. Their scores were not anything the Marines would consider good, by any means, but even the grizzled Gunnery Sergeant running the range begrudgingly nodded his approval at them being passable. Barely. ​ Not bad at all, for what little training we’ve managed to fit in around everything else. Lord Anyo is even showing a particular knack for the weapons, at least on the fixed range. Rinn was pleased to note that his own scores had surpassed Anyo’s on the dynamic range, much to the Knight Captain’s chagrin. ​ Lunch consisted of MREs at the range, and Rinn once again got to demonstrate his “advanced knowledge” of human equipment to the other keshmin, and warned them away from the less favorable MREs. Not that I’ve actually tried many of them, but our pallets seem to match close enough that I’ll take the Marines at their word. ​ The lunch break was short, barely enough time to heat the food and gulp it down, before they were hurried off to the next event on the range, this one pushing the artificers to their magical limits. ​ “Cease fire! Cease fiiire!” ​ Rinn panted, overheated and out of breath, as he lowered his stave. The targets down range were shredded, both by gunfire and spellfire, but this wasn’t a measure of accuracy. ​ “Most impressive, Ahyat,” Yeshai said as Rinn stepped back from the firing line. “How many armor enhancements were you able to maintain?” ​ “All twelve of them, Your Grace,” Rinn said, still trying to catch his breath. “But I couldn’t keep up with the machine guns. I could barely keep up with one, nevermind three!” He shook his head, making sure to close his mouth to keep his tongue from lolling, though his ears still flopped a bit. “The best I could do was one enhancement every fifth or sixth shot with two. One in a dozen with three.” ​ Yeshai snorted. “No worse than anyone else so far, and you did it while maintaining all armor enhancements, a very fine shield, and respectable spellfire of your own.” He flicked an ear. “Any of us might surpass you in single skills, but on the whole, I’d dare say you’re the best of us, and by no small margin.” ​ “You honor me, your grace,” Rinn said, giving him a bow. ​ “Your service honors the kingdom,” Yeshai replied, dipping his head in return. ​ Straightening, Rinn couldn’t miss Anyo glaring at him, but he pointedly ignored the Earl. Sinyan had gone before Rinn, but Anyo had gone before him, and all but confirmed Rinn’s suspicions that the Knight Captain was a sparker. ​ “And who’s our next contestant?” Gunnery Sergeant Valdez called as Rinn flopped down next to Bradford, happily guzzling the bottle of water she handed him. ​ “Tyehtyeh, that’s you!” Yenyed called, glaring at the oblivious artificer. ​ “Oh, right!” Tyehtyeh said, looking up from the spellstructs he had been studying. He barely even put on his false-deep voice. ​ “Oh, here we go…” Bradford muttered, rolling her eyes. ​ “Don’t be spiteful,” Rinn said, flicking her ear with his tail. She swiped at the offending appendage and tried to grab it, but he quickly snatched it out of her reach. “He’s made incredlbe progress these last two weeks. He hasn’t admitted it, but I’m fairly certain he’s had no formal education as an artificer, or even at all.” ​ She raised an eyebrow at him. “So his bluster’s all just a show, deflecting from his … ignorance?” ​ He dipped his head with an affirmative ear flick. “And the more I give him to study, the less he remembers to put on the act.” ​ “Huh…” Bradford said, giving Tyehtyeh a newly appraising look. ​ “Line ready?” Valdez called out. “Shooter’s stand-by! FIIIRE!” ​ Tyehtyeh immediately popped up a shield and sent a triple burst of tight, powerful firebursts down range, before the Marines could rack their bolts and engage. Brief flashes of light rolled down the line as armor enhancements went up. ​ He still needs to kill that startup flare, but at least he’s cut out the continual glow, and his efficiency is a hundred fold better. He’s barely leaking any mana! ​ Tyehtyeh hesitated as the rifles opened up, several rounds zipping down range unseen. He rolled his ears, shifted his feet, and every single shot became a visible bolt, glowing as it snapped down range. ​ More rifles opened up, then a machine gun, then two, then tree. Rinn’s ears shot up under his earmuffs. Every single round glowed. ​ Then Tyehtyeh brought his stave to bear and let off a barrage that made Rinn’s spellfire look like a peashooter. ​ “CEASE FIRE! CEASE FIIRE!” Valdez called as the targets disappeared into several plumes of splinters and smoke. ​ “Holy shit!” Bradford said. “He hits like an artillery piece!” ​ Rinn looked at her, then to Tyehtyeh, then to Yeshai and the other keshmin. A small part of his mind was pleased to note that he wasn’t the only one whose jaw was hanging open. ​ “Did I mess up again?” Tyehtyeh asked, sheepishly scratching at the base of a horn. ​ Yeshai shook his head, the first to collect himself. “No. No, you didn’t.” He looked at Rinn, forcing the field artificer to collect himself. “Second Artificer, you wouldn’t happen to have a metering artifice in your repertoire, would you?” ​ He cocked an ear to the side, wondering what the Duke was getting at, before it clicked. “Yes, your grace, I do.…” he stood up, retrieving his stave, and walked over to Tyehtyeh with Yeshai. The Marines and other nobles muttered amongst themselves in their separate groups as Tyehtyeh squirmed under the unexpected attention. ​ “Second Artificer Tyehtyeh, have you ever been officially metered?” Yeshai asked, stopping in front of him. ​ “Well, ah, no, Your Grace,” Tyehtyeh said, scratching at the base of a horn. “Militia really only ever cared that I could sling spells, didn’t much care for any of the details.” ​ “I suspected as much,” Yeshai said, dipping his head in a small nod. He flicked an ear at Rinn, then back to Tyehtyeh. “Second Artificer Ahyat, if you would be so kind.” ​ Rinn nodded and stepped forward, his stave held low in one hand. He didn’t really need it to run this particular artifice, but he suspected the extra precision and peak range it allowed would be useful. ​ “What’s this, then?” Valdez asked, stepping up to the line. ​ “The lad has never been officially metered,” Yeshai said, waving a hand at Tyehtyeh, an exaggerated gesture probably for the human’s benefit. “He has no idea how powerful he actually is. We’re about to find out.” ​ “Will this hurt?” Tyehtyeh asked, his ears nervously twitching back. ​ “Of course not,” Rinn said. “You don’t even really need to do anything. Just passively channel a mana stream.” He paused. “Down range, if you please.” ​ “Right,” Tyehtyeh said, turning to point a hand down range. Rinn brought up the metering artifice, set so the measurements were visible in the air. At first, there was nothing, then Tyehtyeh closed his eyes and everything spiked. ​ “Above and below…” Yeshai muttered as Rinn scrabbled to shift the ranges the meter was displaying. Tyehtyeh blew past the maximum levels. Twice. “You’re a gods-damned savant!” ​ “What?!” Tyehtyeh squeaked, spinning around and cutting off the mana stream. ​ “Not just a savant,” Rinn said, his eyes and ears locked on the measurements his artifice was still displaying. “Your Grace, he’s one of the most powerful savants to ever live.” ​ “What?!” Tyehtyeh said again, this time with a little less squeak. “That can’t be right…” ​ Yeshai, turned to Valdez. “Gunnery Sergeant, we are done here for today. We need to do a complete examination and assessment of Second Artificer Tyehtyeh’s abilities, and I need to write to the King.” ​ ​ **** ​ ​ Scrubbing her face, Bradford trudged around the corner of a building on her way back to the barracks, after dark, and smacked right into someone. “Oh, shit!” she said, stumbling back while fumbling out to catch the other person before they fell. ​ Bradford kept her balance. The other person he the ground with a yipped, “Oof.” ​ Looking down, horrified at her clumsy inattentiveness, she found Rinn glaring up at her. “I was hoping to run into you on my way back, but I didn’t mean for you to take it literally!” ​ She laughed, reaching down to help him up. “Sorry, I’m just a little brain-dead right now.” ​ “Oh,” he said, standing and dusting himself off. He flicked an ear at her. “I couldn’t tell the difference.” ​ “Oh, fuck you,” she said, giving him a shove that sent him staggering and nearly back into the dirt. ​ “Abuse!” he cried, struggling not to laugh. “Help! Help! I’m being abused!” ​ Bradford just continued walking, flipping him the bird over her shoulder. ​ “That rough a day?” he asked, jogging briefly to catch up. “Too much going on on your surprise afternoon off?” ​ “Pff, I wish.” She sighed, waving at the barracks ahead of them in the distance. “Most of the guys got the rest of the day off, thanks to Tyehtyeh, but not me.” She shook her head. “Nooo, I’m a Sergeant now, with ‘field experience,’” she said, with air quotes. “Since I happened to be free for the afternoon, I got pulled into another planning meeting for the field exercise we’re doing at the end of the week.” She shook her head. “Normally, these things are all planned out weeks in advance, but now we’re trying to cram that all into a few days…. Ugh!” she scrubbed her face again, heaving a sigh. “What about you? How was your afternoon?” ​ Rinn sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Probably not much better.” His ears twitched, and he shook his head, letting them flop around. “More testing with metering artifices more precise and capable than mine will be required to know his exact power, but between myself, the Duke, and the other nobles, we were able to determine that Tyehtyeh is a savant, and one of the most powerful to ever live. There are two, maybe three other savants alive who are more powerful than him, and those not by much.” He scrunched his snout. “And he has the education of a quillhog farmer!” ​ Bradford laughed. “Sounds like someone’s a little pissed off that their spot as the top artificer has been stolen by an uneducated bumpkin.” ​ “I’m not pissed off!” Rinn snapped. “Not about that, anyway,” he sighed, tugging at a horn. “It’s just- I’ve taught Tyehtyeh a hundred times more in the last few weeks than anyone else has ever taught him. Almost everything he knows, he learned on his own! He’s not just a savant, he’s not just one of the most powerful savants to ever live. I have to admit, he’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.” ​ “Oh, really?” Bradford asked, raising an eyebrow at him. ​ “Yes!” Rinn rolled his ears. “Now, of course, he doesn’t act like it at all, not in the least, because he has the education of a quillhog farmer! But instead of a bumbling idiot who can barely figure out which end of his pike to point at the enemy, he taught himself how to do magic from scratch, using a bare handful of spells he was shown as an example, and a few concepts he overheard in conversation.” ​ “Damn,” Bradford said, shaking her head. “Imagine what he could do if someone taught him.” ​ Rinn vigorously nodded his head, eyes wide and ears up. “That’s exactly what we just saw today! And if he had a proper education.…” He shook his head. “The Duke has written his father and the King, and the nobles of are two minds about what to do with Tyehtyeh. On the one hand, he should be sent to a university, trained and educated. In time, he might become the most powerful savant to ever live!” ​ “On the other hand, he’s useful now?” ​ “Yes.” He sighed. “The education he should get would take years, when he is already a powerful battlefield savant, and we are in desperate need of every advantage in the war.” ​ “So what are they going to do with him?” ​ “I don’t know. The Duke has a lot of influence to sway that decision, but it will not be made by him. That is for his father, Lord General Yangri, and the King to decide.” He sighed. “Until that decision is made, I will be continuing my tutelage of Tyehtyeh, and the other artificers will provide selections of well-designed spell structures for him to study and master.” ​ “Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to worry about tomorrow,” she said as he opened the door to their barracks and waved her in. “It’s late enough as it is.” ​ “Indeed,” he said, following her through the door. His ears twitched as they approached the bunk room. Bradford could here muffled shouts and laughter coming from inside. ​ Glancing at Rinn, who gave her a smirking flick of an ear, she opened the door. The room fell to immediate silence as it swung open, the bright light of the hallway casting a sharp outline into the dimmed room. ​ Inside, every other member of Second Squad was wearing assorted styles and colors of masks made out of duct tape. The diversity of styles included cut-out or molded eye holes, teeth, full cheek guards, bikers goggles, a medieval doctor’s beak, mohawks, and more. Holding a wild medley of cardboard-and-duct-tape melee weapons, they were clad in little else besides a chaotic mix of speedos, diapers, vests, and/or a few get-ups that looked suspiciously like pleasure harnesses, all made from a rainbow of duct tape. ​ In the dim light and resounding silence, they all turned to stare at the door. ​ Bradford slowly cast her gaze across them as she looked from one side of the room to the other, the Marines all frozen and staring at her in silence, before she quietly backed out and shut the door. ​ “We’re going somewhere else for a while,” she said, still staring at the door she firmly held shut. ​ Rinn’s ears, held straight up, swiveled to point behind him. “That… That sounds like an excellent idea…” ​ “Yeah…” she said, releasing the door and pulling herself away. She looked at Rinn. “Anyone ever show you how to play Xbox?” ​ “I can’t say that I have,” he said as she pointedly ignored what sounded like Kawalski’s muted shouting behind the door. ​ “Sounds like a great time to learn,” she said as muffled chaos exploded behind the door. She turned and headed towards the common room. “C’mon, I’ll teach you how to play Call of Duty, and we can see what other games they managed to snag. I haven’t had time to play anything since they set the system up.” ​ ​ *** ​ ​ Rinn fidgeted as Echo Company formed up outside their barracks complex. He was nervous. First Sergeant Khatri had found out about his cadence project. He was nervous because he expected to be called on to lead the whole company through his new cadence. ​ He was also nervous because he was the one who told First Sergeant Khatri about it the night before. That’s why he had run into Bradford on the way back to the barracks. He gave a silent prayer to all the gods above and all the gods below that the squad wouldn’t find out. ​ “Company! Atten-hut!” Rinn snapped to attention with the other Marines as Khatri marched out in front of them. “Marines! It has come to my attention that one of our augments has been undertaking a little cadence project, translating a Ganlin marching song into a Marine Corps cadence. Is this true, Second Artificer Ahyat?” ​ Rinn had to struggle to keep his ears from plastering back against his skull. “Yes, First Sergeant!” ​ “And it is my understanding that it is in a workable state. Is this true, Second Artificer Ahyat?” ​ Rinn hesitated. He swore he could hear a pin drop. “Yes, First Sergeant!” ​ “Outstanding! Now, as you all know, I take great pride and joy in a proper marching cadence, and to hear this warms my heart.” He clutched a hand to his chest for emphasis. “The deep, sub-cockle regions of it. Second Artificer Ahyat, you will be leading us in this cadence today!” ​ “Yes, First Sergeant!” ​ With the closest Rinn had ever seen Khatri come to a smile, the First Sergeant made a crisp about face and saluted Captain Spader. “The company is formed and ready, sir!” ​ “Very well. Get them moving, First Sergeant.” ​ “Aye, aye, sir!” ​ Khatri pivoted and marched to his place in the column. “Company! Forward! March!” ​ Feet crunched on gravel and packed dirt as Echo Company stepped off. Khatri called out a basic cadence as he turned their column out of their little assembly area, what the Marines had started calling the grinder, and onto the road. ​ “Ahyat!” Khatri shouted as the last of the Marines snaked onto the road. “Sound off!” ​ Rinn cleared his throat. “Yipe! Yipe! Yegh!” he shouted, the corners of his mouth twitching as the Marines echoed back the nonsense sounds. Here we go, he thought, taking a deep breath. ​ “I left my heart in San’Riiaaaaa!” he called out in English. His t’s were still a little soft, and he still dragged out his vowels a bit longer than he should, but his accent was still clear. ​ “I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAAA!” The Marines echoed back, and he could hear the surprise in their voices. He smiled and called the next line. ​ “I left my heart to heed the caaaall!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO HEED THE CAAAALL!” The Marines’ voices were stronger, more certain, adapting quickly. ​ “I left my heart to shield her theerre!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO SHIELD HER THEERRE!” ​ “I left my heart to goo to waaaar!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO GO TO WAAAAR!” ​ “Chorus!” he shouted, before taking another breath. ​ “We carry on the looong campaaaign! We steel our hearts and maaarch aloooong! To keep the war awaay from hooome! We raise our pikes and neeever yieeeld! ‘Til we’ve freed the yoke from all Gahlaaa!” ​ He closed his eyes for a beat. He could already tell his throat was going to be sore when this was all done, but he wasn’t going to bungle it. Another breath, and he shouted again. ​ “I found my boots in Rotiyiiiin!” ​ “I FOUND MY BOOTS IN ROTIYIIIN!” ​ “I learned to march in formatioon!” ​ “I LEARNED TO MARCH IN FORMATIOON!” ​ “In line and square and in colummn!” ​ “IN LINE AND SQUARE AND IN COLUMMN!” ​ “To bear my heart in San’Riiaa!” ​ “TO BEAR MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAA!” ​ This time, a few Marines joined in on the long notes of the chorus. ​ “We carry on the looong campaaaign! We steel our hearts and maaarch aloooong! To keep the war awaay from hooome! We raise our pikes and neeever yieeeld! ‘Til we’ve freed the yoke from all Gahlaaa!” ​ A few more had joined before the chorus had finished. ​ “I donned my armor in Toiyooo!” ​ “I DONNED MY ARMOR IN TOIYOOO!” ​ “I wrapped myself in clooth and steeeel!” ​ “I WRAPPED MYSELF IN CLOOTH AND STEEEEL!” ​ “Re-enforced with maail and speeell!” ​ “RE-ENFORCED WITH MAAIL AND SPEEELL!” ​ “To shield my heart in San’Riiaaa!” ​ “TO SHIELD MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAA!” ​ Marine voices started to overpower his as he drove into the chorus once more. ​ “We carry on the looong campaaaign! We steel our hearts and maaarch aloooong! To keep the war awaay from hooome! We raise our pikes and neeever yieeeld! ‘Til we’ve freed the yoke from all Gahlaaa!” ​ “I grabbed my pike in Mol’Raiii!” ​ “I GRABBED MY PIKE IN MOL’RAIII!” ​ “Enchanted bright and shaarp of biiite!” ​ “ENCHANTED BRIGHT AND SHAARP OF BIIITE!” ​ “I lift it up and hoold it hiiigh!” ​ “I LIFT IT UP AND HOOLD IT HIIIGH!” ​ “To guard my heart in San’Riiaaa!” ​ “TO GUARD MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAA!” ​ The Marines had picked up the chorus this time, and he could barely hear his own voice over theirs. ​ “We carry on the looong campaaaign! We steel our hearts and maaarch aloooong! To keep the war awaay from hooome! We raise our pikes and neeever yieeeld! ‘Til we’ve freed the yoke from all Gahlaaa!” ​ “I earned my strips in Riiun Paaass!” ​ “Blood stripes!” someone shouted in the brief gap before the rest of the company echoed back. ​ “I EARNED MY STRIPS IN RIIUN PAAASS!” ​ “At Koilay, Bruhl, and Sai’Li’Unnn!” ​ “AT KOILAY, BRUHL, AND SAI’LI’UNNN!” ​ “In blood and fire I baattle throuuuugh!” ​ “IN BLOOD AND FIRE I BAATTLE THROUUUUGH!” ​ “To win my heart in San’Riiaaa!” ​ “TO WIN MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAA!” ​ This time the Marines beat him to the chorus, and he straightened in pride as voice was drowned out by a company two hundred strong. ​ “WE CARRY ON THE LOOONG CAMPAAAIGN! WE STEEL OUR HEARTS AND MAAARCH ALOOOONG! TO KEEP THE WAR AWAAY FROM HOOOME! WE RAISE OUR PIKES AND NEEEVER YIEEELD! ‘TIL WE’VE FREED THE YOKE FROM ALL GAHLAAA!” ​ “I yearn to see my heaarth and hooome!” ​ “I YEARN TO SEE MY HEAARTH AND HOOOME!” ​ “Family, friends, and soomeone mooore!” ​ “FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND SOOMEONE MOOORE!” ​ “I promise one day too retuuurn!” ​ “I PROMISE ONE DAY TOO RETUUURN!” ​ “To see my heart in San’Riiaaa!” ​ “TO SEE MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAA!” ​ “WE CARRY ON THE LOOONG CAMPAAAIGN! WE STEEL OUR HEARTS AND MAAARCH ALOOOONG! TO KEEP THE WAR AWAAY FROM HOOOME! WE RAISE OUR PIKES AND NEEEVER YIEEELD! ‘TIL WE’VE FREED THE YOKE FROM ALL GAHLAAA!” ​ “I left my heart in San’Riiaaaaa!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN’RIIAAAA!” ​ “I left my heart to heeed the caaaall!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO HEEED THE CAAAALL!” ​ “I left my heart to shield her theerre!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO SHIELD HER THEERRE!” ​ “I left my heart to go to waaaar!” ​ “I LEFT MY HEART TO GO TO WAAAAR!” ​ He held the last note to signal the end of the cadence. The Marines copied the long note, and it trailed off as they made the final turn, approaching the rest of the battalion’s formation. The First Sergeant timed that well… he thought, but felt one last call was needed. “Royal Host, Never Yield! Two-Five!” ​ “RETREAT, HELL!” ​ “Company! Halt!” ​ ​ *** ​ ​ “Guh, my head feels like mush,” Bradford said as they trudged into the gym. “I swear to god, if I have to go to one more strategy seminar or training planning session, my brains will all ooze out of my head and have to be mopped up off the floor…” ​ “Don’t worry, Jabs,” Edison said, tapping her arm. “We’ve got your favorite activity to make up for it: Picking up heavy things and putting them back down.” ​ “Damn straight!” she laughed. ​ “Raaawwwgh!” Edison said, flexing his arms in front of him. “She-Hulk STRONG!” ​ Laughing, she gave him a shove hard enough to send him staggering off to the side. “Stronger than you, pencil-arms.” ​ “Why do we keep having to sit through all these seminars, anyway?” Kimber asked. “We’re Marines. You don’t put us in classrooms. You give us a gun, and point us at whatever you need destroyed.” ​ “It’s to figure out how to train the next guys,” Bradford said, stepping over to a weight bench. “Got my spot?” Rinn and Edison paired up by a couple of benches by the dumbbell rack nearby while the rest of the squad dispersed through the gym. ​ “Sure,” Kimber said, stepping over to the weight rack. “How much to start?” ​ “Fifty on the bar to warm up a bit, then up from there.” ​ “Cool,” he said, grabbing a weight. “And what do you mean, figure out how to train the next guys?” ​ “The next guys,” she said, locking a weight on her side of the bar, then settling down on the bench. “The next group of Marines and Artificers, or Soldiers and Artificers, or whoever the fuck else gets sent through this program.” She took a grip on the bar as Kimber moved into position at the head of the bench, and with barely a grunt she heaved it off the rack and started doing reps. ​ “When did we get put into a program?” Kimber asked. ​ “We’re not in a… program,” Bradford grunted out between reps. “We’re… pathfinding it. The training program… that integrates artificers and the U.S. military.” ​ After several reps, she shoved the bar back up on the racks and stood up, wiping sweat off with a towel as she switched places with Kimber. ​ “You think they’re making this a program?” Kimber asked, heaving the bar off the rack and starting his own set of reps. ​ “Fuck yeah, they are. No putting that cat back in the bag. We’re just kind of the pilot, fumbling our way through, figuring shit out for the people that’ll come next.” ​ “Hadn’t really thought of that,” Kimber said, putting the bar back up on the rack after his set. ​ Bradford snorted as she grabbed more weight for the bar. “You’re a Marine. You don’t get paid to think. Good thing, too,” she winked at him. ​ “Damn straight!” he laughed, locking a matching weight on the other side of the bar and moving back to the spotter position. ​ Their conversation tapered mostly to insults and encouragement as they added more weight with each set. ​ They were just locking another set of weights on the bar when Kawalski called over. “Kimber! We need you! Gomer thinks he’s the wrestling champion!” ​ Kimber glanced back at Bradford, but Edison spoke up. “Go ahead, man, I’ll spot for her.” ​ “Ha!” Bradford snorted. “Spotter needs to be able to at least help lift the weight that’s being benched, and that ain’t happening with your pencil arms, and I could probably bench Ahyat for reps.” She glanced at him. “No offense.” ​ He shook his head with a dismissive ear flick. “None taken.” ​ “Ha, I bet you could!” Edison said. ​ “Kimber!” ​ “I can’t, man! Jabs is gonna bench Shields!” ​ “What?!” ​ “Jabs is gonna bench Shields!” ​ Bradford laughed, glancing at a bewildered Rinn. ​ “Man, I gotta see this,” Elder said, elbowing his way to the front of the crowd that spontaneously formed around the weight bench. It felt like half of Echo Company was there. ​ “Hey, how many reps you bet she can do with him?” Kawalski asked, hustling the crowd even as it formed. ​ Bradford looked at Rinn again as a pair of Marines lifted the bar out of the way. He was shoved towards the bench, and his ears drooped in defeat. ​ “No,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not benching him.” ​ “But, Jabs-“ Kimber said, before she interrupted him. ​ “Dude. He’s, what, one ten?” She raised an eyebrow at Rinn. “One fifteen, soaking wet, with a brick in your pocket?” He shrugged his ears, flicking the end of his tail at her. “I just repped one thirty,” she said, pointing her thumb at the bar, “And upped it to one forty-five. I’ve got nothing to prove by benching Ahyat.” ​ “Aw, c’mon, Jabs,” Kawalski said. “It’s not about provin’ nothin’, it’s about bein’ funny!” ​ “I said no, Kawalski.” [First][Prev][Next] Continued in comments... submitted by /u/Ilithi_Dragon to r/HFY [link] [comments]
r/HFY Ilithi_Dragon Feb 10, 2021