Spring Outfits Men

Xero Zelen Cork Groundies Relax Wool Barebarics Revive - White & Grey My last post with more winter/early spring fits. submitted by /u/mnkymnk to r/barefootshoestalk [link] [comments]

Hi all, I'm a 35 year old woman headed to two professional celebrations for family/friends next week (in the same day- brunch and afternoon reception/award thing). I imagine they are both 'men wearing suits' events or at least men wearing blazers/ties. I will be with my toddler at both of these so need to be able to move easily (e.g., no heels). I think they're both inside, but it will be warm outside. I don't want to wear a suit or pants/blazer, but it feels like a day dress type outfit I'd maybe wear to a graduation ceremony may be too casual. I'm a size 8/10 and do a lot of WFH and sometimes business casual, but this feels maybe more elevated? What's in between? I'm overthinking this- what would you wear? Styles? Colors? Fabrics? Specific options you love that I can order easily - thank you!! submitted by /u/Gloomy-Meringue4495 to r/fashionwomens35 [link] [comments]

Love the color palette of this outfit for spring. What are your guys’ thoughts? Would you wear this? submitted by /u/Excellent_Today_2933 to r/theguyslist [link] [comments]

i’m 6’3 145 pounds what are good shirts and pants that i can buy for spring in America that would look good on me? submitted by /u/slip333 to r/malefashionadvice [link] [comments]

https://preview.redd.it/l5wrl1rquerg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=c76decf6f77763bc1ebcebf9851c35daeec1860f submitted by /u/theguyslist to r/theguyslist [link] [comments]

Putting together some spring everyday outfit concepts - which one would you wear? Option 1: cleaner/minimal Option 2: a little more styled submitted by /u/theguyslist to r/theguyslist [link] [comments]

https://preview.redd.it/n3rwf8uqqlog1.png?width=774&format=png&auto=webp&s=63d2ee38d4aae3ba906189d1ae263cd0ea8ef2c3 So Love and Deepspace's art director Xianzi Feng did a talk at GDC this week called "Designing Crush-Worthy Characters" and our team was in the room. I need to share this because the level of intentionality behind everything in this game is even more intense than I thought. She laid out an actual psychological framework for how the team designs characters. Here's what stood out. They reverse-engineered falling in love. https://preview.redd.it/d2up8qjerlog1.png?width=774&format=png&auto=webp&s=81dd3cdd848c93c8c94b2b7a2b81bf43f4678aa1 Feng broke "love at first sight" into three designable components: Biological trigger — what you see and sense Cognitive resonance — the "he gets me" feeling Narrative projection — your brain filling in the gaps All three are supporting elements of a character’s total energetic impression — the thing you sense before you can articulate why. Feng’s slides used the term “Vibe,” though the Chinese term she actually said out loud, 气质, is closer to the full bearing of a person: posture, presence, the way they hold a room. These components support the impression, but it emanates from something deeper: Temperament, the core psychological traits that drive a character’s emotions, behaviors, and choices. “Contrast feeling” is the whole game. https://preview.redd.it/lprw7t3hrlog1.png?width=776&format=png&auto=webp&s=0d2c6a3e38bc219b701529ca67b840c22b9a9a98 Feng’s most important principle (and the one I think has the widest application) is that a character people fall in love with is full of contradictions. Not just “layered” or “complex” in the way every character brief claims. Specifically, contradictory. Cold and warm at the same time. Constrained and rebellious in the same outfit. She kept coming back to this Chinese term: 反差感 (fǎnchā gǎn), "contrast feeling." It's the jolt when a character breaks their own pattern. When the controlled one loses composure. When power goes gentle. She said they design for this on purpose in every character. Feng’s argument is essentially: contrast gives you novelty, and novelty begets attraction. The familiarity of a recognizable archetype draws you in (”I know this type”). The unexpected contradiction within it holds you (”but I’ve never seen them do that“). The gap between what you expect and what you get is where the emotional charge lives. The Spring Collection: Every detail is temperament. This is the part I want to spend time on, because the process itself is the craft lesson. For the Spring and Flowers seasonal update, Feng walked through her team’s six-step workflow: Theme → Impression Fragments → Core Temperaments → Enhance Temperament → Implement and Test → Improve from Implementation. https://preview.redd.it/x8bscdgkrlog1.png?width=752&format=png&auto=webp&s=805dbf50fa73d510f98e8495daa7f6b75ed6e6fc https://preview.redd.it/3rj9fc7mrlog1.png?width=940&format=png&auto=webp&s=e267801e91f17c2061a01dc8d8b0df04e7a5814e For the Spring and Flowers update, the first round of designs all looked the same. Five men, same fabric, same palette. The fix: stop designing theme-first. Start designing from WHO THEY ARE. Same chiffon and pearls, completely different energy per character. Xavier — pearl necklace worn loosely. That looseness reads as casual rebellion against his own royal constraint. They put character development in how tight a necklace sits. Rafayel — the spacing between his pearls is intentionally irregular. Designed to express a more lively, dynamic temperament. THE DISTANCE BETWEEN HIS PEARLS HAS LORE. Zayne — so you know how he wears a black shirt every day? For spring they gave him a delicate lace choker with layered pearl weaving. Elements he'd NEVER worn. I remember losing it when this dropped. At GDC the art director basically confirmed they designed it to break us. The slightly seductive charge has no business being on him. SHE KNOWS. But here's the detail that kills me. Even in this softer outfit, he still ties his shirt neatly and layers his necklaces methodically. Constraint and rule-breaking at the same time. This man!! Sylus — the design note for how he appears soft was basically "he wears it openly with full confidence." The art director said it like it was obvious. Because it is. Caleb — a two-tone metal and woven belt designed to express his dual nature. The warmth everyone sees and the strategic depth underneath. His entire character in a belt buckle. The wedding proposals. (I need a minute) Each proposal has its own entire world. Xavier under stars at Starfall Sanctuary. Rafayel at the sea god temple. Zayne in the Foreseer's library. Sylus in the ruined church. Caleb in a childhood wonderland. Even the rings are different. Each with motifs from that character's story. I go into further detail on the proposals and what they reveal about the design philosophy on our Substack: Read the full deep-dive here → --- Takeaway I keep thinking about what it takes to make a character feel like they could be in the room with you. The thing that stays with me: this team thinks about these characters the way we think about them. A trembling eyelid matters. The relief on a face matters. The distance between pearls matters. They care the way we care. And that's why we trust them. If you work in character design, romance games, voice AI, or fandom — I’d love to compare notes! (All image credits go to the amazing Love and Deepspace team. Bad angles are our problem entirely.) EDIT: Thank you all so much for the incredible discussion (and the gifts?! you guys are too kind 😭) Two things: Zayne girlies, I hear you! I've updated his section in the essay on Substack. Thanks for calling it out. (Got too excited and hit publish before doing him justice, oops.) I attended another session and have more to break down. If you're interested in a follow-up post here or on Substack, let me know and I'll write it up! EDITEDIT: Here it is! https://ihearamurmur.substack.com/p/what-love-and-deepspaces-creative https://preview.redd.it/gwqjvm6nlqog1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=958dcdf729ca837d57d5bd27d31a03c14131371e submitted by /u/ihearamurmur to r/LoveAndDeepspace [link] [comments]

What do you guys think? submitted by /u/theguyslist to r/theguyslist [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/NewLVGuy to r/Louisvuitton [link] [comments]

Holi 2026 is not just a festival of colors—it is a celebration of joy, style, culture, and vibrant self-expression. Choosing the perfect Holi outfit requires thoughtful planning to balance comfort, protection, and trend-forward fashion. This complete styling guide delivers practical, budget-friendly, and Instagram-worthy Holi outfit ideas for men and women, ensuring you look stunning while staying comfortable during the color festivities. Complete Holi Styling Guide 2026 From breathable fabrics to waterproof beauty hacks, this guide covers everything needed for a flawless Holi look. Q1: What Clothes Should You Wear for Holi? The ideal Holi outfit must be: Breathable Comfortable Easy to wash Color-friendly Affordable Holi involves water, dry gulal, dancing, and outdoor exposure. Therefore, cotton and linen fabrics remain the top choices for 2026. White Outfit vs Colorful – Which is Better for Holi? White Outfits – The Classic Holi Choice White remains the most iconic Holi color because it enhances the vibrancy of gulal. A white outfit transforms into a canvas of colors, creating stunning photography moments. Best White Outfit Ideas: White cotton kurta with leggings White oversized shirt with denim shorts White t-shirt with cotton joggers White kurta pajama for men Colorful Outfits – The Modern Twist Bright yellows, pinks, neon greens, and pastel tones are trending in Holi Outfit 2026. These shades hide stains better and give a playful look. Pro Tip: If you prefer minimal staining visibility, go for light pastels instead of pure white. #HoliOutfit2026 #FestivalFashion #HoliLook #ColorFestival #HoliStyle #TraditionalVsModern #HoliFashionGuide #SpringFestivalStyle #HoliReady #IndianFestivalFashion submitted by /u/Bookstore18 to r/TheIndianRepublic [link] [comments]

In Gucci for the 2021 LACMA Art+Film Gala In Selam Fessahaye for the 2021 iHeartRadio Music Awards In Thom Browne with Rick Owens platforms for the 2021 WSJ Magazine Innovator Awards In Gucci for the 2020 Billboard Music Awards In Richard Quinn FW21 RTW for the 2021 BET Awards In Goomheo FW22 for the 2022 induction of the Songwriters Hall of Fame In custom Balmain (designed by Olivier Rousteing) for the 2022 Grammy Awards (one of several custom Balmain looks for the night) In custom Balmain (designed by Olivier Rousteing) for the 2022 Grammy Awards (one of several custom Balmain looks for the night) In Balmain SS22 Menswear with shoes by Rick Owens for Variety's Hitmakers Brunch in 2021 In Harris Reed for the 2022 VMAs red carpet (Lil Nas X said on the red carpet, "This is heavy and it is Harris Reed. It's something fresh, something new, I feel amazing.") In Marko Monroe for the 2022 VMAs ceremony In Off-White SS20 Menswear with shoes by United Nude and jewels by Lillian Shalom for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund event in 2019 In Atelier Versace for one of several looks at the 2021 Met Gala (theme: “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion") In a crystallized cat look created by Pat McGrath and Dior Men for the 2023 Met Gala (theme: "Karl Lagerfeld: A Line of Beauty"). The outfit had creative direction by Nicola Formichetti and Lil Nas X himself In Luar by Raul Lopez for the 2024 Met Gala (theme: "Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion"); the look was embellished with 50,000 Swarovski crystals and featured 2,000 covered buttons Attending Coach's Fall 2023 RTW show in New York in 2023 In full Thom Brown for the Thom Browne FW23 show during NYFW in 2023 In Tom Ford for the Tom Ford Beauty launch party in 2021 Attending Coach's Spring 2024 runway show and afterparty in New York in 2023 In Balmain for the 2025 Vanity Fair Oscar Party submitted by /u/lugubrious_onion to r/whatthefrockk [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That was u/Dizzy_Maize_7364. That account is now deleted. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Trigger Warning: stillbirth; emotional abuse Mood Spoiler: sad but OOP has a good nuclear family Original Post: March 12, 2025 I (47F) have a daughter (25). She is currently 26 weeks pregnant with her second child (a girl). Her first child, Phillip, was stillborn two years ago at 38 weeks (a little boy). When she lost him, she asked us to take apart the nursery before she got home and “get rid of” the baby equipment (she saved his baby book, his ultrasound photos, and the outfit she planned to bring him home in, along with a lock of his hair in a memory box). She’d had a baby shower for Phillip when she was pregnant, but her grief around his death was so strong that she couldn’t handle having the nursery and baby things. We offered to return the baby shower gifts to the givers, most kindly refused and asked us to donate the items… except my husband’s sister, Rachel (43). She made a HUGE deal out of my daughter being “hysterical” and constantly, loudly talked about how “ridiculous” it was to take apart the nursery. We kept her away from my daughter and only allowed her to return to family functions when she promised to stop bringing it up. We recently held a baby shower for my daughter’s new baby girl. Rachel (along with the rest of my husband’s female relatives) was invited. She kept making quiet remarks to everyone that we were “tacky” for having a baby shower for a second child, but since she didn’t get near my daughter, I ignored it. When my daughter began opening gifts, it hit the fan. She loudly said “if you hadn’t torn Phillip’s nursery apart and gotten rid of everything, you wouldn’t be here begging for presents for this baby.” My daughter froze and just stared off into space. Tears started running down her face. I just said “Rachel, please leave.” She refused and started arguing with me. I took her present out of the pile, walked to the door, and threw it out. I yelled “Get out, NOW!!!” and my husband came into the room and asked what happened. His mom told him and he physically picked up his sister and put her down outside the door. Now the family is divided over whether I should’ve yelled at her to get out and thrown her present. AITA? UPDATE: we are having a family meeting (without Rachel) while my daughters and their partners are away at Hot Springs this weekend. Will update again after the meeting. Some of OOP's Comments: Top Commenter: NTA If anything, you were overly generous by trying to ignore her cruel, thoughtless remarks prior to the final horrific outburst. Your daughter's welfare was your priority and must remain so. I can't imagine how heartbreaking the loss of her baby was and to reminded of that so callously is unbelievable. Your SIL took a joyous occasion; one full of hope and promise, and poured acid all over it. You and your husband both should be commended for your restraint. I hope your daughter enjoys a healthy pregnancy and that your granddaughter brings you all much joy. OOP: Thank you. Your kindness is so appreciated. To a now deleted comment asking about why OOP would be the AH: Because after I politely asked her to leave, and she refused? I screamed at her to get out and threw the present she had brought out the front door. It was when my husband heard that commotion that he came in the room. Some of his family thinks I shouldn’t have screamed at her and thrown her present. Family meeting: Agreed. We are having a family meeting without Rachel this weekend to discuss how to move forward. both of my daughters and their partners will be in Hot Springs for the weekend, taking a little mini vacation, so my daughter won’t have to be present for any drama. Other than Rachel, the rest of the family have always adored my daughters… In fact, Philip was named after my husband‘s dad, whom my girls call Grampy (they call his mom GiGi). We have high hopes for the family meeting. Commenter: INFO: Why was Rachel even invited after the way she talked about your daughter's behavior when she was grieving? OOP: The family agreed to keep her away from my daughter until she apologized and agreed to stop talking about it. She did so a few months after Phillip’s death, and had been invited to several events since without bringing it up. Commenter: If the family agreed , then why is the family divided now ? Your actions were too mild. Why invite her to your daughter’s baby shower and also keep ignoring her minor remarks ? OOP: She was talking to other people about how tacky the baby shower was, but was avoiding going near my daughter. Everyone she was talking to was shutting her down, so I let it be. I realize now that was a mistake. I wish I had asked her to leave at the first comment… Commenter: NTA. Honestly, if she had done and said that in front of my daughter, I'd have picked her up myself and tossed her ass in the street and probably would have punched her a few times. Also, she's a wretched person. I'd cut all contact with her. OOP: We are all (both of my daughters, their partners, and my husband & me) going no contact with my husband’s support His mom is sad, because it means she won’t get to see us all together, anymore, and the rest of the family is upset because we won’t attend gatherings that include her, but I’m going to do what’s best for my girls and their kids. My older daughter is so angry (she was sick and couldn’t attend). She and her boyfriend are taking my pregnant daughter and her husband up to Hot Springs for the weekend to relax. Commenter: What is this woman's problem? Why was she so outraged by dismantling the nursery and returning the gifts in the first place? Has she always been such a b*tch? The remark about "begging" for more gifts sure says this is about more than the nursery and gifts. Is she jealous of your daughter? OOP: Rachel is infertile and cannot have/never had children. My daughters were already tween/teenagers (11 and 13) when my husband and I married, and he has no biological children of his own (though he’s been a wonderful stepdad). She’s never liked it that the “only kids her brother got were another man’s.” I’ve “robbed” her parents of having “real” grandchildren, blah, blah. To another commenter: Everyone tiptoed around Rachel for years because of her fertility struggles (she never had children and two husbands left her to start families). I’m truly sorry for that for her. But she went too far this time. On whether her husbands really left her to start families or if it was something else: The story I’ve been told is that when she had several miscarriages in a row, and was told it would be very difficult to carry a pregnancy to term, her first husband left. Her second husband left after another round of miscarriages led to a hysterectomy. I don’t know if she’d told him. Current pregnancy: I don’t want to go into too much medical detail, because it’s my daughter’s story to tell if she would like to, but our granddaughter does not have the medical issue that our stillborn grandson had, and the pregnancy is healthy and thriving. I know she’s still terrified despite knowing this, and she is in therapy. That’s one of the reasons I’m so furious with Rachel… it’s like with one sick comment, she undid months of progress. We will never see Rachel again (my husband was the first to suggest it). The shower itself: She didn’t want to refuse to celebrate this baby because of Phillip’s loss. We were careful to check in with her in every planning stage to make sure she was still okay, and we all reassured her that if she wanted to cancel, even at last minute, no one would be mad at her. Her sister even practiced a “back-up hostess” speech to give if she did cancel too close to the start (or after). My husband’s aunt and I were going to take my pregnant daughter out for lunch and let her sister explain and host if that happened. Update (Same Post): March 15, 2025 (3 days later) UPDATE 2: The meeting went well. My husband and I gave a brief summary of what happened, backed up by witnesses. The relatives that couldn’t make the shower are now aware of what happened. The family consensus is that Rachel is unequivocally to blame and should not be allowed to be around my daughters or their kids. Other people in the family brought up issues they’ve had with her in the past along similar lines (especially involving pregnancy and kids). Rachel will no longer be included in large family gatherings. Those who want to continue a relationship with her will do so on their own, and have been informed that advocating for Rachel to be forgiven and included or feeding her information about me, my husband, or our kids and grandchildren will result in us going no contact with them as well. My mother-in-law has apologized profusely for making the remarks about being sad that she won’t have “both of her children” under her roof for the holidays anymore. We have accepted her apology because her feelings are valid and this is sad for her. Thank you so much for all your support. I will update when my granddaughter is born, if ya’ll would like? Some of OOP's Comments: OOP adds: We found out this morning from a cousin that apparently Rachel also criticized us for having a funeral and burial for Phillip… because “it wasn’t like anyone actually got to bond with him.” we never knew that or she would have NEVER been allowed to apologize and come near our little part of the family again. She showed us the texts. Rachel can’t deny it. Commenter: OMG I love your husband. This made me cry that your family could be reasonable and rally around your daughter. OOP: I think it helped that almost everyone in the extended family with kids had a “cousin Rachel” horror story. The meeting: It’s not really a consultation, more of a “this is what happened at the shower” for the family that wasn’t there (mostly the men and few ladies who had to work) and an info session on what we’ve decided. Editor's note: Marked as concluded because OOP and family decided to cut off Rachel and were able to explain everything. However, we probably won't ever know when the baby is born due to OOP deleting her account. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

There is a lot of talk within pop-culture and within culture itself regarding the ethics and morality of “speculation” about sexual orientation where the implicit and explicit message being conveyed is this: Do not speculate about a celebrity's sexuality because it is harmful to do so. Now, when it comes down to it, we all know that it is speculation regarding homosexuality that we are being told is harmful and destructive. Why should we avoid it? Because it’s gross, disgusting, violating, invasive, blah blah blah. Don’t ask, don’t tell. We live in a world where we don’t need to speculate heterosexuality onto individuals because it is the presumed norm - you live, you breathe, you like the opposite sex. This is America. Within the queer community, it is acknowledged that the presumption of heterosexuality is wildly more harmful than the presumption of homosexuality. The only world in which it is safer to presume heterosexuality is a virulently homophobic world. This is America. When reading and absorbing this attempt at a master doc, please keep in mind that the presumption of heterosexuality is harmful. If these two men are repeatedly attempting to convey their love for one another and we - the only community who are actually seeing them - are dismissing their signals, are we not complicit with heteronormativity and homophobia? Q: Why wouldn’t they just come out? A: The NFL is homophobic. American culture is homophobic at baseline. There has yet to be a NFL player who has come out who has been signed following their outing. In terms of NFL longevity, coming out is career suicide. When the lifestyle of a professional athlete is all you have ever really known, having worked your entire life to achieve it, “coming out” is a terrifying prospect. Even if Travis were to come out, he would be risking his monetary stability and he would likely face serious death threats. While it might seem silly or trivial to someone not living the lifestyle he lives, he needs a significant and constant income stream in order to maintain his standard of living. Based on prior precedent, any player who comes out - no matter how good they are - will be shut out by the NFL itself and by the audience. This means losing out on brand deals, future career positions, speaking gigs, and various roles. I posit that it is possible Travis may be able to break that mold simply because he brought a flood of Swifties into the NFL fold, irrevocably changing the core demographic. Was it the goal? Timeline Ross Travis’ Career + Meeting Travis Kelce In 2015, coming from Penn State, Ross was undrafted and was signed to the Chiefs. Travis Kelce had been there for 2 years and per reports, Ross Travis and Travis Kelce became close quickly. After two years, Ross left Kansas City and played for other teams. In 2018 he tore his ACL and played in the NFL until 2021 when I think he essentially retired. 2019 Travis and Ross were known to have been living together as early as 2019. While my area of interest is not football, apparently the speculation was rampant starting around then? As mods of this sub, we have received upwards of 20 modmail from individuals who do not use our sub regularly claiming that these two are a couple and have been for a long time - this is not normal for us. Joe, sorry to report that no one messaged us about you and Paul. You’re gutted, I know https://preview.redd.it/y36vedk0qmie1.png?width=896&format=png&auto=webp&s=311ffe80975081652f9ed67f3b8903efc9ee5e78 2023 October 14th – The First "Date" Travis Kelce's first public outing with Taylor swift was a heavily papped weekend in NYC. Taylor wasn't working and could spend the entire weekend with Travis Kelce if they had wanted to. On their very first public "date", Travis Kelce brought his "roommate" Ross Travis. TNT on a date with their new business partner, Taylor Swift 2024 January – Football. Ew. It’s like I lost my twin… Ross Kelce wore it first, wearing yellow brick road plaid at a Chiefs game on January 28th, 2024. Taylor Swift then wore her iconic Yellow Brick Road plaid dress to the 2024 VMAs. https://preview.redd.it/4e25yeemqmie1.png?width=1754&format=png&auto=webp&s=51c4ae5b460379b13b781f014a8bfa837c5607c7 February 9th, 2024 - Who is Aric Jones? Before Ross Travis really came onto the scene, Swifties and the wider fandom were introduced to Travis Kelce’s ride-or-die lifelong bestie, Aric Jones. While Aric may have been seen again, they most certainly are not a unit. https://preview.redd.it/25rhh6varmie1.png?width=2152&format=png&auto=webp&s=c46e486d11e46b0dbfce24abef5018e2427e919f Superbowl 2024 (2/11/24) Ross Travis watched Travis Kelce win the Superbowl in 2024, alongside Travis’ beard Taylor Swift. Ross - a fashion king - wore a lavender vest adorned with embroidered ivy, an iconic ode to the gayest of gay Taylor songs (Ivy) and signaled to all gaylors that he was someone we should be taking notice of. Lavender Ivy King Sydney - 2 HIMS – February 21 Following the Superbowl, we saw TNT travel together to Sydney to visit Taylor Swift. Ross shared a photo on his IG story and we were introduced to Ross Travis and his way of communicating. I am certain that Taylor knew the gaylor side of the fandom would sniff this gentle king out immediately, so I imagine Ross knew what was coming his way. He played his part to perfection! We saw, we educated ourselves, we saw, and then we applauded him. This stunt is growth for Taylor, letting her beard have his own partner around in an overt way…shifting to a more transparent glass closet for those observing. Knowing that the media was feral for all information on Taylor and her relationship with Travis Kelce, while visiting Taylor in Sydney during her Eras Tour stop, Kelce and Ross were photographed standing by the open windows in their skyscraper hotel room. Not only were they standing by the windows, they were standing by the windows while perfectly illuminated and showing their faces. Did I mention that this hotel room is in a skyscraper? This was not just a lucky shot, this was a planned shot - Ross and Travis, in their hotel room, not sharing Taylor’s rented home. We know that Taylor had a rented home and was not staying in this hotel because it was later "leaked" to the press. Below is the view from their hotel suite. Dear reader, nothing is accidental. The shot that was intended to be captured was captured - Travis and Ross in their hotel room. Swifities and the gen pop absorbed this as nothing notable. Gaylors discussed… Many were still mostly reserving judgment at this point, which did not last long. https://preview.redd.it/cruw2bcmumie1.png?width=1066&format=png&auto=webp&s=b26a337f43211373417de3c84bde9abb4bace765 https://preview.redd.it/g4v3qp2pumie1.png?width=1250&format=png&auto=webp&s=0f97c0bbc98419d210c8289fd2ae36f921e21256 Ross Travis & Travis Kelce at Sydney Eras Our duo attended the Eras show in Sydney, an event that Ross himself memefied. Posting “2 HIMS” to his own IG page, he owned their causal and coordinating fashion selections. It is worth noting that Ross seemingly reignited Taylor’s Midnights lesbian flag crocheted aesthetic with his sunshine crocheted ensemble. https://preview.redd.it/sonbh8rhvmie1.png?width=1696&format=png&auto=webp&s=2b4a3c61d6e5852cdd905b9beaa15ca6ecfe3db1 Here is a cute video of them from the Eras show that night. Ross and Travis supported Taylor and supported her fans and that was always so cool to see. Again, they're singing a song classically linked to bearding and the impact of closeting within the industry. https://reddit.com/link/1inj3qy/video/ie47nbxz3nie1/player Taylor goes back to the Zoo… After Taylor went to the Sydney zoo the day prior, she took Ross and Travis back. Of course, they were photographed extensively. That was the plan after all, being that the first day was just to test it out and plan the second, “oopsies we were caught on camera”, just like the zoo animals they are. The metaphor, you see? Travis Kelce talking to Ross as he is walking alongside Kelce and Taylor at the Sydney Zoo, Taylor’s second visit in two days. May 2024 In May, Ross uploaded to his IG story a video taken by fans of he and Travis Kelce dancing to Look What You Made Me Do. This song is about being forced to beard by the industry, the media, and fans, in order to survive. https://reddit.com/link/1inj3qy/video/i9qw4x83wmie1/player Also in May of 2024, Ross uploaded a video with the 2HIMS caption while he was at a Casa Azul event with Travis. Ross is wearing a cowboy hat, because he’s a cowboy like us… https://reddit.com/link/1inj3qy/video/ukufdwt8wmie1/player Chiefs' Celebratory Collaboration Party - December 19, 2024 When this event was first announced, via images from Brittany “I support rapists” Mahomes, swifties immediately ran with the narrative that Travy threw a surprise birthday party for Taylor. This then morphed into Kelce throwing a surprise wrap party for Taylor, where none of her Eras’ team members were present… It was only once Ross Travis posted photos to his IG that it became clear that this was a Chiefs/NFL sponsored celebration of Taylor and their collaborative efforts on the Eras tour and their partnership that has - up to this point in 2025 - brought in nearly 1 billion dollars to the NFL. It is worth noting that this party was also rumoured to be Travis Kelce and Ross Travis’ engagement party. At this event, Ross and Kelce wore coordinating outfits - Ross’ suit was a pale pink/lavender and Travis Kelce’s corsage was a pale pink/lavender iris. Taylor has been explicit that she knows the meaning of flowers and is very intentional about their use and placement in her work and her persona. An example of this is when she wore a bearded iris dress on the Graham Norton show to kick off the Midnights era. In Greek mythology, Iris was the goddess of the rainbow and the flower symbolizes love and trust. It is noteworthy that Taylor is highlighting Travis Kelce’s lapel here, encouraging the viewer to look closely… As u/sluttaylorsversion discovered, the pink of Kelce’s flower matches Ross’ suit perfectly DO YOU SEE? Ross Travis’ outfit has ballet dancers on it. All three people are wearing pinky rings. Ross' heart pinky ring Travis Kelce was dressed as he was during his performance on the Eras Tour as one of her puppet masters. During this party, Taylor had Travis Kelce Catch-22 the iconic 22 hat. https://preview.redd.it/tkte013cxmie1.png?width=1306&format=png&auto=webp&s=b15fb0b4485d6be37cd3bee173cd13272acc29c3 AFC Championship (the game before the Superb Owl) Ross posted this IG story at the AFC championship (game before the Super Bowl.) This is when Taylor and Travis Kelce were kissing on the field; he posted a sad black and white image with two emojis in the corner — a dancing man and a mirrorball, representing Taylor and Travis. https://preview.redd.it/mufjveg03nie1.jpg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a3a025e2c31fd2b651e397b6af7774876ed2778 Superbowl 2025 When arriving to the 2025 Super Bowl, Travis wore a suit by Mike Amiri and had a golden rose broach. His ensemble was originally designed for a womans line, so he is continuing to live up to his fashion icon status. Confused which Travis? Yes, both are icons. Slay those toxic masculinity norms! Travis’ golden rose brooch was highlighted by commentators, fans, and fashion commentators. During the first half of the game, Ross Travis posted an IG story of his Amiri adorned pinstriped leg watching the game…sitting on his leg was a long stemmed golden rosé. This is quite possibly the loudest these two have been and it was noted by all gaylors and taken seriously for the first time by everyone. https://preview.redd.it/kz9y3gag0nie1.png?width=1528&format=png&auto=webp&s=eccd9fa6b31f40d471cb2eddaa3e2a21acf3cd6e Apparently, many of you thought that TNT was “just a thing we joked about” on the sub and in the gaylor-sphere. As a result of this moment and the curiosity many expressed, this masterpost was created. Our long-term belief in the fact that Travis Kelce and Ross Travis are in a serious and long term romantic partnership is why this subreddit has held strong to the stance that Travis & Taylor’s ship name is TNT, per-their request. The Swiftie and Gaylor communities failed to call Toe “Jaylor”, as Taylor had tried to get us to and we were trying to listen to and follow the performance narrative she was setting out for us this time. TNT is Taylor N Travis and Travis N Travis - gender neutral kings all around, waiting to be ignited. she has been telling US since the start At the game, Ross Travis wore the Amiri Hollywood bomber jacket, in Midnight blue… It’s all a show, it’s all pretend…they’re the pilots, about to drop the bomb… https://preview.redd.it/ggi2fvfzxmie1.png?width=690&format=png&auto=webp&s=b3caf5bf4c4814a789d6e0d299929f94aa6de3cf Ross also commented on the photo of Travis Kelce that the designer posted. We stan a supportive partner. https://preview.redd.it/6nawolsrzmie1.jpg?width=1161&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=534976f942568dba80b22c2390891fe9ef2e8795 A Ross by any other name is a scandal… https://preview.redd.it/epk2dqo6ymie1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=3eba4ab7ca49331d52596d3856a7243153387917 u/materialtangelo9856 sent me a comment from her wonderful post on the broader implications of all of the things discussed in this post, about the origins of Ross’ nickname of Rosé. My first response was, “oh, I thought it was because he’s fruity?” While there may be other origins to his nickname, the rose is a deeply homosexual flagging symbol and term in Japanese gay culture and - I believe - in gay culture in general as a result? Louis Tomlinson flags with roses and The War of the Roses very frequently. Harry Styles, owner of a rose tattoo, identifies Japan as a place of sanctuary for him. I would imagine that Ross’ overt flagging on his IG account was unnoticed by the majority of people, even gaylors who focus mostly on sapphic history. The roses lapel worn by Travis Kelce is the equivalent of a green carnation (LINK TO OSCAR WILDE) on his lapel, while Ross Travis having a matching long stemmed rose in his lap at such a momentous event in his partner’s career was just…overt gay flagging. These men are gay. These men are in a relationship. These men aren’t hiding it from people who are truly looking at them. February 11th, 2025 Ross Travis re-shared a post made by hwoodgroup where he was seen attending the 4th annual h.wood Homecoming in NOLAwith a cardigan worn by Travis Kelce last spring in Las Vegas. Travis Kelce had been in Las Vegas for the Mahomes Gala, with Taylor Swift. Gaylors assumed Ross was also present, which was proven accurate when photos were taken of Travis Kelce and Ross while out at a club in Las Vegas. This is what we call intentional flagging - they know the “speculation” is happening, has been happening, and that connections are being made. They are intentionally feeding it, furthering the transparency of the closet. https://preview.redd.it/4pf461ptymie1.png?width=2232&format=png&auto=webp&s=9dce4c6c43af34539c07957ca76535bae67afbf1 February 11th After days of Rose Ross speculation, state media (colloquially called "Taylor Nation") posted a story where one of the gaylor themed responses they re-shared was from a user named "RoseWonderfulRose" - they are still at the restaurant. Same boo, same. https://preview.redd.it/hmyaehy7zmie1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=833407bebd3afc1817ac8a44a3931861c35ba485 xoxo 1DMod P.S. - Ross Travis, I know you won't come near us with a 1300000 foot pole at the moment, but if that ever changes, we'd love to have you for an AMA on the sub! We'd highly moderate it and would restrict all topics you wanted (like not allowing questions about your romantic life), but would love to learn more about your existence. submitted by /u/1DMod to r/GaylorSwift [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Acaica65 Originally posted to r/CharlotteDobreYouTube AITA for serving divorce papers to my ex at his job the day before he thought he was coming back home? Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, drug use, assault, infidelity, financial exploitation Mood Spoilers: triumphant Original Post: January 22, 2025 I'm sorry, this is really long. Back story: I (59F) was married to my now ex (57M) we'll call him Ed for 10 years, together for 13, but originally met him 40 years ago as teenagers. He was in my circle of friends but we never dated. We used to live in Florida, but when I was 19 I moved back to Michigan where I am originally from. 27 years later I went back to the city in Florida where I used to live to visit friends. I ran into Ed while on vacation and we began talking on the phone daily. Three months later he left Florida and moved in with me. Three years later we were married. (Not my first but his first) We had our ups and downs but mainly we got along fine and didn't argue much. He would throw tantrums if things didn't go his way and would "punish me" by sleeping on the edge of the bed, which was fine with me or he would not talk to me and slam things. Two years into our marriage things went horribly wrong when he got into drugs. It was horrible. One night I finally had enough and was on the phone with my MIL telling her I was sending back to Florida when the Sheriff's department knocked on my door. Someone had found my husband unconscious, severely beaten, in a ditch a block from our house. (We lived in a small village with woods across the street) I raced to the hospital and didn't recognize him when I saw him. He was so swollen and bruised. Now, my husband was a man who could fight and he was strong. Come to find out it took 3 men to do this. They thought they could rob him since it was pay day but he had been home and purposely left his wallet at home. I sat with him 24/7 while he was in Neuro/Trauma ICU. I slept on a couch in his room, I prayed over him, I bathed him and took care of him even after he came home. This actually saved his life. He got clean and went back to work full time, always putting me and my grandson first before his needs. He went to work and came home. That's it. Four years later I finished my education and became an ordained Priest and have been the pastor at my church ever since. At first he didn't mind, but then he would say things like "I didn't sign up for this" even though I never pushed church on him. I knew he believed in God and he prayed daily. I would invite him to Christmas and Easter service and he also came when I ordained and when my grandson, who calls him Grandpa, was baptized. For several years things were really good. Then suddenly he began coming home from work, showering, changing clothes and leaving. At first he said it was to watch whatever sports was playing on TV because we didn't have live TV. Then he told me he'd be back whenever he got back. Then, things went back to how they were. We laughed a lot, we joked around, and I began getting the usual kiss goodbye before he left for work. One night, he had done his laundry, like he always did and I talked to him while he was folding it. He never wanted me to do his laundry so that wasn't new. We ended the night laughing as he was trying on old clothes. The next morning I woke up and went out to the living room to ask what time he had to be at work but he was gone. I assumed he had to be there early. I walked back into the bedroom and saw his keys on the bed which made me wonder why he would walk to work on such a cold day. It was December 1st. I started leaving the bedroom again and noticed his laundry basket missing so I went to the laundry room and it wasn't there. I went back into the bedroom and noticed his closet empty. I called him to see where he was and asked if he had moved out and of course his answer was yes. Come to find out he had met a woman at his job who works for one of those shopping apps where people buy and deliver your groceries. (He worked for a large grocery store chain) He had moved in with her. Over the next 6 months he called almost daily and would say things like "Our marriage will survive this, just give me time" He even told me he would be mad if I began dating. During one of our phone calls he told me he wasn't happy with her and was going down to Florida to visit family. He said he wanted to come back to me when he came back to Michigan. The plan was this... He would pack things that he couldn't live without but leave things at his new gf's house to make her think he was coming home to her. He planned on giving his 2 week notice while gone and planned on looking for another job when he came home. By this time I knew I didn't want him back. I found my self worth again and had made new friends with neighbors once he was gone. Come to find out nobody liked him. Even the women at the gas station across the street told me how he flirted with them when he came in. Even an Elder at my church found out he was cheating but didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt me. So I went to the courthouse and got a divorce package and filled out all of the paperwork. Where I live I was able to serve him myself. I decided that since he chose to end our marriage while working at the store, I would officially end it there. So, the day before he was supposed to fly to Florida I made sure I looked really good. New hairstyle, make-up, and my outfit was sexy. I went to his job, found him, and handed him the divorce papers. I told him that he was wrong. Our marriage wasn't surviving this. You should have seen his face. He was actually upset with tears in his eyes and for a moment I felt bad. Then I reminded myself what he had done to me. He didn't just leave me in the middle of the night, but he stopped talking and doing things with my grandson who thought Grandpa was the greatest. He left me in a house that I couldn't afford without him, and I would have been homeless if my church wouldn't have paid for an apartment. He told me women were stupid. He actually thought he could come home as if nothing happened. That was one thing he said to me on the phone because I never brought up the past. Last week, six months after our divorce was final, my car was repossessed. When we were together he got two loans and I agreed to use my SUV as collateral because I never pictured my life without him. He stopped paying on his loans so they took my car. I wasn't notified because they sent him the letters. They wanted me to pay off his loans to get it back. I burst out laughing and said that will never happen. So, my question is was I the AH for serving him the way I did? Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Wow I can't believe he would still try and say the marriage would survive from the phone at his girlfriend's house. NTA OOP: All of his calls were while he was on his lunch break at work. Commenter 2: NTA for serving him. My only question is why did it take you so long? OOP: I felt broken at first. Then my niece passed away. Then my own health fell apart and I was in the hospital 31 days so I had to build my strength back up. Also, I didn't want to tell my congregation that I was getting a divorce. But mainly my health Commenter 3: OP, Truly, there's not enough bad shit that can happen to this human vermin. Did he violate any court orders when he defaulted on the 2 loans and caused the repossession? Btw, your grandson is best served to have no contact with this Jekyll/Hyde persona. OOP: Unfortunately no he didn't. I had forgotten about the loans when I filed the divorce. We always had separate accounts. What made me mad was when I called our credit union about my car being gone and they got rude and told me they sent me a letter to my church. They didn't know I am the pastor. I said... I AM the pastor and all of the mail gets put on my desk. There was never a letter. That was last Monday. Then on Wednesday a letter from the CU came stating my was was going to be taken. They mailed it to me the same day I called. Two days after the car was taken. I'm not inconvenienced without a car. My daughter and grandson moved in with me and we share her car now. Commenter 4: You and your ex were BOTH required to disclose ALL assets and liabilities. Your ex's nondisclosure could possibly be addressed with a post-divorce motion. OOP: We didn't have any real assets so we did a DIY divorce and I had forgotten about his loans. My friend who is a judge said that whatever he left behind when he left he forfeited. I did give him things after he left that I knew he had forgot to take. I packed them and set them on the porch.   Update: February 1, 2025 (10 days later) Update: Thank you for the comments and support. Here's a reminder of what happened. My now ex husband got a loan while we were married and used my car as collateral. A year later he left me for someone he met at work. He kept telling me that our marriage would survive, just give him time. He ended up not being happy with her and planned to come back to me after he left to visit his family our of state. He planned on not telling his gf he was leaving her and was only packing what he couldn't live without. His plan was to return home to me when he came home. The day before he left to visit family I served him with divorce papers. Two weeks ago my car was repossessed and the bank wanted me to pay my car off $3k and his two loans that he stopped paying on, $5700. I was willing to pay my car off but told them I'd never pay for his loans and they refused. Here's what happened since my post. I found out where my car was being held at. (Two cities away) When I went to their website I discovered that it's also the location where they sell the repossessed cars during an online auction. They hold it every Monday for 24 hours. I called and asked if I could have my belongings out of it and they said yes. When I arrived they had my things in a bag, including my license plate. I registered online and this past Monday began bidding on my car. I ended up buying my car for $2700. When I showed up to get my car the people laughed and said I'm not the first person to do this. I put my plate back on and came home. Now, I know the bank can still come after me for the balance, but I honestly don't care if it hits my credit report. I don't use credit cards, and in October my daughter closed on a brand new house. I had no other bills except my cell and utilities. I'm now living with her and my grandson. I was lucky enough to have enough time in to retire when my Muscular Dystrophy began causing more health issues and that money goes to my other bank. My MIL was happy to give me his new address so I can sue my ex for my half of our income tax return that he kept last year. She's even having us (me, daughter, grandson) stay with her when we visit Florida during my grandson's spring break. She's still calling Ed's gf Teresa, Trina, Tracy, everything except her name which does start with the letter T. I love this woman. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA but why did you wait 6 months to divorce him when he left you for another woman? OOP: My health prevented me for most of the time. I was in the hospital 31 days and then had to get my strength back. Plus, I didn't want to explain I was getting divorced again, but mostly my health. Commenter 2: But you kept answering his calls on a daily basis while he was actively living at his mistress’s home🫣. I’m glad something finally clicked in you because that’s not the case for a lot of women. OOP: I'm the beginning I was shocked that he left and it wasn't that I wanted him to come home. I think it was more habit than anything. We always talked on his break. We did this for 13 years. Commenter 3: Nta... he deserves it Commenter 4: NTA. And you didn’t make a scene when you served him. Congrats on attaining your freedom.:)   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

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I am not OP. That is u/Diligent-Mix-150 who posted to r/AmItheAsshole and u/wedding-hijacker-412 who posted to r/weddingdrama AITA for not letting my fiancée’s best friend be in our wedding? May 18th, 2024 u/Diligent-Mix-150 I (26M) proposed to my (24F) girlfriend of 6 years last month. She obviously said yes and we’ve been working on wedding details (ex: save the dates/invitations, venue, caterer…etc) since. We got to talking about who we would want in our wedding because she wanted to do a special “proposal” to her side of the wedding court, and she said she wanted to have her best friend since childhood be her “maid” of honor. The thing is, her childhood best friend is a guy (24M). They lived on the same street when they were kids and have been friends since. My fiancée and I met in college and her friend was there too, so I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known her. At first I didn’t really like him because he was always hanging around her, but after she and I started dating and I was forced to be around him more I kinda started to tolerate him. He and my fiancée saw each other a lot, but he and I have never really hung out one-on-one before. One time when we were left alone together he tried to get all tough and did the “if you ever break her heart i swear…” corny threat talk. He’s a small dude so it made me laugh more than intimidate me. After that I got the feeling this was a situation where he liked her but she didn’t know. I asked my fiancée if she and him ever had feelings for each other, and she said no, then let me know he was gay. I’m not homophobic or anything, so it’s not like I don’t want him in the wedding because of that, it’s just that I think it would be better if her side of t party was all girls. She and him already did everything together, not including him in our wedding wouldn’t hurt their friendship. I told her that and she got defensive, saying that if I could have a girl in my side of the party (the girl being my older sister who practically raised me), she could have a guy. I said that it was a different circumstance, and that I wouldn’t allow her best friend to be her man of honor. She got really mad and said it was her wedding too, then stormed out. I got a text from her sister a few hours later saying she had gone to her parents house and told them what I had said. They thought I was being an asshole because I never liked her friend and am threatened by him. I have tried to talk to my fiancée since she left but she hasn’t returned my calls or texts. I really love her, and I don’t want to loose her. I just dont want her best friend to be a part of our day. AITA? edit: It’s come to my attention in a previous comment I made, I have created the worlds thinnest argument. I said that my fiancée made was unwillingly to compromise on things such as the groomsmen’s neck pieces and blazers, and as such I was in the right to be unwilling to compromise about her best friend. I stated in a few other posts that there were other things she didn’t want to compromise on, and someone suggested I make a list so here it is: 1.) When we were deciding our wedding date and location, she wanted to do it in spring in an open field. I wasn’t onboard with this as I have terrible allergies and spring is when it’s at its worst. She shot down any alternative I gave her (alternatives being things done closer to summer or in summer) and said it was Spring or nothing. So we went with spring 2.) Instead of going with a DJ like I suggestion who could play a mix of her favorite, my favorite, and general upbeat dance music, she said that she really wanted a live band that specialized in her favorite genre. I asked if we could just give the DJ a longer list of her songs in her favorite genre and tell him to pick from the list often, but she said no and that a live band was going to be better. So we went with the band 3.) In my culture there is a few traditional wedding ceremonies that I wanted us to partake in. Some included a kind of “parade” that leads the groom and his family to the brides house where they present her and her family gifts, a hair cutting ceremony (I made sure to tell her her actual hair would NOT be cut), and finally a knot tying ceremony where the guests wish us a long happy marriage. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with these ceremonies, and said they would be too much time and effort, since it would be like having two weddings. I tried fighting for these more than the others, but she was firm on doing things traditionally. 4.) She wanted the groomsmen to wear bow ties and blazers even though I wanted the necktie and no blazer look 5.) She changed the color scheme from the originally agreed upon black, gold, maroon, and forest green to pink (or i think it was rose), yellow, white, and pastel blue because the decorations would look better in the field. When I said we already printed invitations with the previous colors on them, she said we could throw those out and get reprints. Added Comments Commenter I really hope this is a rage bait post. To not be able to see the hypocrisy in having his sister (whom he’s known his whole life) on his side, but DEMAND that she not have her male best friend of decades on hers is absolutely insane. If I were the fiancé, I’d call the whole thing off because OP’s empathetic skills are clearly nonexistent. OP The difference is I’d be having legitimate family in my party. Somebody who, like I said, has practically raised me and has been there for me since birth who I want by my side. I know you can argue that her and her best friend are “technically” family with how long they’ve known each other, but that doesn’t actually make them family Commenter It’s her wedding as well so he is family to her. Don’t worry. You won’t have a fiancé anymore at this rate OP he’s not legitimate family, so it really doesn’t count. he can be included in her family section of the guests that doesn’t matter. but breaking it down and splitting the hairs, he’s not biologically family Commenter YTA. It’s obvious that you have a huge chip on your shoulder about your fiancé’s best friend just because he’s a guy, so now you’re using this “girls only” thing to get him out of the way. Also, “girls?” You’re not in high school going to prom. You’re getting married. They’re women. You’re sexist and jealous and seem way too immature to be getting married. I hope she sees you for what you are and gets away from you OP I don’t understand why everyone so hung up on my verbiage. Aren’t women also girls? Are they not one and the same? I’m not trying to get him out of the way for any sexist reason either. It’s just more traditional if she chooses all women to which she agreed upon in the past. She only started thinking about having him in her party after I said I wanted my sister Commenter Then why are you not traditional and picking only men for your party. Hypocritical much? Insecure and prob lost your fiancé. YTA OP i’m breaking the tradition for someone who is family. someone who has a right to be up their with me on one of the best days of my life OP if she had a brother and wished for him to be her man of honor i would agree in a heartbeat. breaking tradition for family i can understand but breaking it for a friend is a little much. im just not comfortable with that Update May 19th, 2024 wedding-hijacker-412 I (24F) was recently engaged to my (26M) fiancé after 6 years together. We got into a fight a couple of days ago because he wouldn’t let me ask my guy best friend (24M) who I’ve known since we were kids, be my man of honor. I ended up walking out and went to stay with my parents for a few days. I told them what happened and they agreed that he was way out of line. I went back earlier today after I thought he had enough time to calm down and when I came home he looked glad to see me. He apologized for stepping out of line and I said it was fine and that we still had time to ask my best friend to be in the wedding. He kind of looked down then said that we should call everything off. This really surprised me and I immediately said no. He then admitted that while I was gone he posted to r/AITA about what had happened and that even though he was deemed the controlling AH, he also realized that I was one because I had basically hijacked the wedding planning. I asked how he could think that and he pointed out how I chose to have the wedding in spring even though that’s a bad time for him and that I changed up the wedding color scheme and what his groomsmen would be wearing without talking with him first. I said that those were practically minor things and we didn’t have to call off the wedding for it. Then he said I was insensitive for rejecting his cultures traditional wedding ceremonies and didn’t even considering doing them. He had brought to my attention some traditional ceremonies people do at weddings in his culture, and while I appreciated him bringing it up to me, I decided against doing it because it wouldn’t fit the vibe of the traditional wedding I wanted. I told him I only wanted to do a traditional American wedding and that he already agreed with me that that’s what we were doing. Then he said that me having my guy best friend be my best man was untraditional. I pointed out I let him have his sister be part of his wedding party because he wanted some part of his family included, and that since he was breaking the tradition so could I. He got really sad and looked like he was about to cry and said that me breaking the tradition was like a slap in the face after I rejected his traditions, and that I just didn’t respect his culture at all. That is not the case at all I greatly respect his culture. I told him I understood how mean it sounded but it’s my wedding too so I get a say in what we do. He kind of laughed and got up and said he wanted to take a break and left. I dont know what to do I don’t want to call off the wedding at all. I tried to find his reddit post but I think he was using a throw away, though granted I am too. I love him so much and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. I don’t know how we’ll get through this. Added comments Commenter I don't know if you two are compatible OP Up until this point I would have disagreed with you. When we met in college we were studying the same thing so we crossed paths often. We became friends and found we have a lot in common in terms of interests and lifestyle, and we had a great relationship up until the proposal. We’ve talked about marriage before and we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things. I don’t know where it changed Commenter sounds like you are controlling and you. brushed off his complaints as no big deal. If the date, groomsmen outfit and color scheme are minor details, than they shouldn’t have been changed. Disregarding his family traditions is a major detail and if you are willing to disregard them for a wedding, how does he know you won’t for other events? The wedding is one day, if you don’t let him have a say in that, he’s right to take a break and reconsider. OP I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll be honest and tell you that I haven’t celebrated a lot of his cultural events besides New Years (he’s Cambodian and they celebrate their New Years in April I believe). He and his family had a falling out after he started dating me (his family didn’t approve of a foreigner), and only recently have they reconnected. His sister though was different she didn’t care I was American, and she stuck by his side as his only family member. I guess I disregarded the traditions in the first place because he never immersed me in his culture enough because he kind of cut ties with that side of himself. I was uncomfortable with the idea of being surrounded by his family that doesn’t particularly like me during the ceremonies, as both his parents and my parents would be involved. I didn’t want to feel like an outsider on our wedding day Commenter I think your ex is right. You haven’t considered his preferences and in fact you minimize his requests (calling them “practically minor”) and aren’t respecting his cultural traditions. It sounds like you’re more interested in a wedding than an actual relationship and marriage. OP Of course I’m interested in the wedding. I’ve been dreaming of my own since I was a child. But I don’t value it more than I value my relationship with him. We didn’t get that far into the planning but for our honeymoon I was going to suggest going somewhere he and I have always talked about going to. We would have eventually gotten to a place where more of his ideas would be acdepted commenter Babes, you literally chose your wedding over your fiance. You broke up because of plans for the wedding. You broke up because you couldn't compromise anything you wanted for anything he wanted. You chose the wedding over the marriage. commenter I read his post yesterday and yours today... YOU BOTH SUCK. I think he wouldn't have put up the stink about your male best friend being in your party if you hadn't been so controlling, but that's moot because you're incredibly controlling and don't understand/care. You are selfish and self-centered. You seem to think only your tastes and desires matter for your wedding, forgetting that your groom is a person and not just a prop at your wedding. The fact that you even say "let him include his sister" is grounds to break up with you in my opinion. Neither of you are mature enough to marry from the little bit you have each written. In both of your posts you both sound fairly unpleasant to be around but you are definitely the harsher of the two. He's a whiner and you are Attila the Hun. Both of you need to grow up and learn what's actually important in life: how to grow together. Don't get married, mature first. OP do you happen to have the link? i’d like to read what he said OP was linked to the original post and the amithedevil post Update: My wedding may be off part 2 - Final June 1st, 2024 Weddinghijacker It’s been two weeks since I posted about my wedding situation. I apologize for not answering very many of your comments on the first post. The post was intended to just talk about the situation, but it quickly turned into a mini AITA discussion, which was absolutely the farthest thing that I wanted to happen. Due to the stress and severity of everything, I had to unplug. The comments and private messages were getting to me and the messages from friends and family who caught word of the situation became overwhelming. That being said, I got around to reading the comments after a week or so, but didn’t have the effort to say anything until now. A lot of you said I was controlling, manipulative, selfish, and racist. I can understand being called the first three, but racist genuinely hurt. I didn’t realize my actions came across as racist, but I see now how that could be assumed of me. I don’t know what to say to prove that I’m not racist, but I know that even if I did it probably wouldn’t change any minds. I’ve begun to research more on the wedding ceremonies, and just Cambodian culture as a whole, something I realize I should have done years ago. I promise you that the decisions I made and the unfortunately “vetoed” decisions from my boyfriend all came from a place that thought it was going to be best for both of us. But like a lot of you said, it was still wrong of me to completely dismiss him and his ideas. I admit I was being stubborn about a lot of things that would have been easy to compromise on. I guess I was looking at everything through rose tinted glasses and thought that everything would just fall into place in my favor because I wanted it to. I should have heard him out more and taken his words seriously. Additionally, a few of you called me and my fiancé out for being rage baiters and even being the same person just using different accounts. I can see how that would seem like the case, since I made this account a day after his throwaway was deleted, but I promise it was just a coincidence. I created a throwaway since my main account has content that can be traced to my other socials, and I didn’t want anyone harassing me in my DM’s or other comment sections. I think someone also brought up the fact that this account is linked to another one that has posts about being divorced? I’m not sure what that’s about. I read the AITA post that he created and, if I can be honest, I thought it was terribly done. He made his initial post about my best friend and how he wasn’t “comfortable” with him being in the wedding, indicating that even on a minuscule level, he was uncomfortable with my friend. In the 6 years they’ve known each other he has never once voiced or shown any discomfort for him. I don’t know if he was using him as a scapegoat or what. His comments started to change the tune of the post and it started to become a “I’m not comfortable with the guy best friend” vs. “Actually, I’m being taken advantage of” type of thing. It was all so weirdly done, and his comments seemed rude and argumentative. People were judging him based on the initial question as the forum intended, but then he started to tell the rest of the story to try and gain favor or something. But, I digress. Moving onto the actual update, my boyfriend and I had a talk a few days ago. He was home when I came back from work and it looked like he was packing some of his stuff. I asked if this meant that we were officially over, and he said he didn’t know. I asked if we could talk about it, and he said sure. I apologized to him for how I was acting and that I shouldn’t have been so controlling with the planning. I also apologized for rejecting his culture and said that I didn’t do it with malice. He asked why I really rejected the ceremonies and I told him how I wasn’t comfortable with his parents, since there was still tension between us. He explained that they were trying to be okay with me, but what I did just made it harder. I told him I read his post and asked if he really didn’t feel comfortable around my best friend. He was kind of iffy on that, saying yes and no before saying he didn’t mind him as a person, but he was still someone he didn’t know. He offered to apologize to him since he figured I told him about what he said when I left to my parent’s house, which I did, and I said I would appreciate that. We got quiet and I asked again if he wanted to officially break up. He said he wanted to cancel the wedding, but that he didn’t want to break up permanently yet. I felt the same way, so we talked some more, and eventually agreed to go back to dating. This may not be the outcome a lot of you wanted, since it seemed like you were all rooting for him to kick me to the curb, but I still love him and he still loves me. We’re cancelling all of the wedding plans and looking into couples counseling. And, as a promise to each other that we’re going to change, he’s going to make an effort in befriending my best friend, and I’m going to be seeing his family more and participating in/observing more cultural events. This is the last post I will make from this account. I just want to move forward and rebuild with him. TL;DR: We broke off the engagement, but we’re still together. I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/Diligent-Mix-150 who posted to r/AmItheAsshole and u/wedding-hijacker-412 who posted to r/weddingdrama AITA for not letting my fiancée’s best friend be in our wedding? May 18th, 2024 I (26M) proposed to my (24F) girlfriend of 6 years last month. She obviously said yes and we’ve been working on wedding details (ex: save the dates/invitations, venue, caterer…etc) since. We got to talking about who we would want in our wedding because she wanted to do a special “proposal” to her side of the wedding court, and she said she wanted to have her best friend since childhood be her “maid” of honor. The thing is, her childhood best friend is a guy (24M). They lived on the same street when they were kids and have been friends since. My fiancée and I met in college and her friend was there too, so I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known her. At first I didn’t really like him because he was always hanging around her, but after she and I started dating and I was forced to be around him more I kinda started to tolerate him. He and my fiancée saw each other a lot, but he and I have never really hung out one-on-one before. One time when we were left alone together he tried to get all tough and did the “if you ever break her heart i swear…” corny threat talk. He’s a small dude so it made me laugh more than intimidate me. After that I got the feeling this was a situation where he liked her but she didn’t know. I asked my fiancée if she and him ever had feelings for each other, and she said no, then let me know he was gay. I’m not homophobic or anything, so it’s not like I don’t want him in the wedding because of that, it’s just that I think it would be better if her side of t party was all girls. She and him already did everything together, not including him in our wedding wouldn’t hurt their friendship. I told her that and she got defensive, saying that if I could have a girl in my side of the party (the girl being my older sister who practically raised me), she could have a guy. I said that it was a different circumstance, and that I wouldn’t allow her best friend to be her man of honor. She got really mad and said it was her wedding too, then stormed out. I got a text from her sister a few hours later saying she had gone to her parents house and told them what I had said. They thought I was being an asshole because I never liked her friend and am threatened by him. I have tried to talk to my fiancée since she left but she hasn’t returned my calls or texts. I really love her, and I don’t want to loose her. I just dont want her best friend to be a part of our day. AITA? edit: It’s come to my attention in a previous comment I made, I have created the worlds thinnest argument. I said that my fiancée made was unwillingly to compromise on things such as the groomsmen’s neck pieces and blazers, and as such I was in the right to be unwilling to compromise about her best friend. I stated in a few other posts that there were other things she didn’t want to compromise on, and someone suggested I make a list so here it is: 1.) When we were deciding our wedding date and location, she wanted to do it in spring in an open field. I wasn’t onboard with this as I have terrible allergies and spring is when it’s at its worst. She shot down any alternative I gave her (alternatives being things done closer to summer or in summer) and said it was Spring or nothing. So we went with spring 2.) Instead of going with a DJ like I suggestion who could play a mix of her favorite, my favorite, and general upbeat dance music, she said that she really wanted a live band that specialized in her favorite genre. I asked if we could just give the DJ a longer list of her songs in her favorite genre and tell him to pick from the list often, but she said no and that a live band was going to be better. So we went with the band 3.) In my culture there is a few traditional wedding ceremonies that I wanted us to partake in. Some included a kind of “parade” that leads the groom and his family to the brides house where they present her and her family gifts, a hair cutting ceremony (I made sure to tell her her actual hair would NOT be cut), and finally a knot tying ceremony where the guests wish us a long happy marriage. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with these ceremonies, and said they would be too much time and effort, since it would be like having two weddings. I tried fighting for these more than the others, but she was firm on doing things traditionally. 4.) She wanted the groomsmen to wear bow ties and blazers even though I wanted the necktie and no blazer look 5.) She changed the color scheme from the originally agreed upon black, gold, maroon, and forest green to pink (or i think it was rose), yellow, white, and pastel blue because the decorations would look better in the field. When I said we already printed invitations with the previous colors on them, she said we could throw those out and get reprints. Added Comments Commenter I really hope this is a rage bait post. To not be able to see the hypocrisy in having his sister (whom he’s known his whole life) on his side, but DEMAND that she not have her male best friend of decades on hers is absolutely insane. If I were the fiancé, I’d call the whole thing off because OP’s empathetic skills are clearly nonexistent. OP The difference is I’d be having legitimate family in my party. Somebody who, like I said, has practically raised me and has been there for me since birth who I want by my side. I know you can argue that her and her best friend are “technically” family with how long they’ve known each other, but that doesn’t actually make them family Commenter It’s her wedding as well so he is family to her. Don’t worry. You won’t have a fiancé anymore at this rate OP he’s not legitimate family, so it really doesn’t count. he can be included in her family section of the guests that doesn’t matter. but breaking it down and splitting the hairs, he’s not biologically family Commenter YTA. It’s obvious that you have a huge chip on your shoulder about your fiancé’s best friend just because he’s a guy, so now you’re using this “girls only” thing to get him out of the way. Also, “girls?” You’re not in high school going to prom. You’re getting married. They’re women. You’re sexist and jealous and seem way too immature to be getting married. I hope she sees you for what you are and gets away from you OP I don’t understand why everyone so hung up on my verbiage. Aren’t women also girls? Are they not one and the same? I’m not trying to get him out of the way for any sexist reason either. It’s just more traditional if she chooses all women to which she agreed upon in the past. She only started thinking about having him in her party after I said I wanted my sister Commenter Then why are you not traditional and picking only men for your party. Hypocritical much? Insecure and prob lost your fiancé. YTA OP i’m breaking the tradition for someone who is family. someone who has a right to be up their with me on one of the best days of my life OP if she had a brother and wished for him to be her man of honor i would agree in a heartbeat. breaking tradition for family i can understand but breaking it for a friend is a little much. im just not comfortable with that Update May 19th, 2024 I (24F) was recently engaged to my (26M) fiancé after 6 years together. We got into a fight a couple of days ago because he wouldn’t let me ask my guy best friend (24M) who I’ve known since we were kids, be my man of honor. I ended up walking out and went to stay with my parents for a few days. I told them what happened and they agreed that he was way out of line. I went back earlier today after I thought he had enough time to calm down and when I came home he looked glad to see me. He apologized for stepping out of line and I said it was fine and that we still had time to ask my best friend to be in the wedding. He kind of looked down then said that we should call everything off. This really surprised me and I immediately said no. He then admitted that while I was gone he posted to r/AITA about what had happened and that even though he was deemed the controlling AH, he also realized that I was one because I had basically hijacked the wedding planning. I asked how he could think that and he pointed out how I chose to have the wedding in spring even though that’s a bad time for him and that I changed up the wedding color scheme and what his groomsmen would be wearing without talking with him first. I said that those were practically minor things and we didn’t have to call off the wedding for it. Then he said I was insensitive for rejecting his cultures traditional wedding ceremonies and didn’t even considering doing them. He had brought to my attention some traditional ceremonies people do at weddings in his culture, and while I appreciated him bringing it up to me, I decided against doing it because it wouldn’t fit the vibe of the traditional wedding I wanted. I told him I only wanted to do a traditional American wedding and that he already agreed with me that that’s what we were doing. Then he said that me having my guy best friend be my best man was untraditional. I pointed out I let him have his sister be part of his wedding party because he wanted some part of his family included, and that since he was breaking the tradition so could I. He got really sad and looked like he was about to cry and said that me breaking the tradition was like a slap in the face after I rejected his traditions, and that I just didn’t respect his culture at all. That is not the case at all I greatly respect his culture. I told him I understood how mean it sounded but it’s my wedding too so I get a say in what we do. He kind of laughed and got up and said he wanted to take a break and left. I dont know what to do I don’t want to call off the wedding at all. I tried to find his reddit post but I think he was using a throw away, though granted I am too. I love him so much and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. I don’t know how we’ll get through this. Added comments Commenter I don't know if you two are compatible OP Up until this point I would have disagreed with you. When we met in college we were studying the same thing so we crossed paths often. We became friends and found we have a lot in common in terms of interests and lifestyle, and we had a great relationship up until the proposal. We’ve talked about marriage before and we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things. I don’t know where it changed Commenter sounds like you are controlling and you. brushed off his complaints as no big deal. If the date, groomsmen outfit and color scheme are minor details, than they shouldn’t have been changed. Disregarding his family traditions is a major detail and if you are willing to disregard them for a wedding, how does he know you won’t for other events? The wedding is one day, if you don’t let him have a say in that, he’s right to take a break and reconsider. OP I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll be honest and tell you that I haven’t celebrated a lot of his cultural events besides New Years (he’s Cambodian and they celebrate their New Years in April I believe). He and his family had a falling out after he started dating me (his family didn’t approve of a foreigner), and only recently have they reconnected. His sister though was different she didn’t care I was American, and she stuck by his side as his only family member. I guess I disregarded the traditions in the first place because he never immersed me in his culture enough because he kind of cut ties with that side of himself. I was uncomfortable with the idea of being surrounded by his family that doesn’t particularly like me during the ceremonies, as both his parents and my parents would be involved. I didn’t want to feel like an outsider on our wedding day Commenter I think your ex is right. You haven’t considered his preferences and in fact you minimize his requests (calling them “practically minor”) and aren’t respecting his cultural traditions. It sounds like you’re more interested in a wedding than an actual relationship and marriage. OP Of course I’m interested in the wedding. I’ve been dreaming of my own since I was a child. But I don’t value it more than I value my relationship with him. We didn’t get that far into the planning but for our honeymoon I was going to suggest going somewhere he and I have always talked about going to. We would have eventually gotten to a place where more of his ideas would be acdepted commenter Babes, you literally chose your wedding over your fiance. You broke up because of plans for the wedding. You broke up because you couldn't compromise anything you wanted for anything he wanted. You chose the wedding over the marriage. commenter I read his post yesterday and yours today... YOU BOTH SUCK. I think he wouldn't have put up the stink about your male best friend being in your party if you hadn't been so controlling, but that's moot because you're incredibly controlling and don't understand/care. You are selfish and self-centered. You seem to think only your tastes and desires matter for your wedding, forgetting that your groom is a person and not just a prop at your wedding. The fact that you even say "let him include his sister" is grounds to break up with you in my opinion. Neither of you are mature enough to marry from the little bit you have each written. In both of your posts you both sound fairly unpleasant to be around but you are definitely the harsher of the two. He's a whiner and you are Attila the Hun. Both of you need to grow up and learn what's actually important in life: how to grow together. Don't get married, mature first. OP do you happen to have the link? i’d like to read what he said OP was linked to the original post and the amithedevil post I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Just as the title says, my best friend is getting married today. I've tried my best to be supportive, and gentle in my language if I must be honest, but I'm bursting with frustration. I know this is going to sound petty, and honestly I'm likely a bad friend for judging but please hear me out. My friend is 23, marrying a man of the same age that they have been dating for about 8 months. At 5 months, they told me they were engaged, and that they were going to the courthouse on Halloween to get married. The only people invited are both of their mothers. A proper wedding ceremony will be held in the spring where everyone will be invited, I've already been told I'm one of groomsmen/maids of honor (I'm the best man of the bride, if there's a better name for that). Why do I have a problem with this? Besides the very short time they've been dating, my best friend is very quick to fall in love, and very quick to fall HARD. Every person they have dated in the past 5 years has had the same things said about them: "the best person they've ever dated," and "I've never loved someone so much". I genuinely don't mind it normally, as they have lots of love to give and how much they see love is one of their charms. But it has lead to them getting hurt very often, especially by terrible men who take advantage of their feelings (usually financially). I'm worried they are jumping into this relationship too fast. I've met the fiance/husband, and I don't hate the guy. He's okay, and hasn't shown many red flags. He even makes my friend happy, so I should be happy. The only big red flag is his inability to hold a job (quitting or getting fired frequently, especially quitting without telling my friend). I have talked about my concerns about them rushing this, but they brushed them off and gave me the same "I've never loved anyone like this before." So I've bit my tongue since and try to support them. I even went shopping with them to pick out the wedding outfit like a best friend should. I know I sound like a bad friend, and I genuinely feel bad for being so apprehensive. I do also wanna get ahead of any jealousy claims, since I'm a man and they are a woman and this is the Internet. I am gay, having no interest in woman. I love my best friend as family, not in anyway romantically. submitted by /u/FolivoraInSpace to r/TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

I’d like to first thank everybody for the great feedback on the first part of this series, I’m glad so many of you found it helpful! One of the more requested categories was office wear, so that’s what I wanted to tackle next. The thing about office wear is that it changes more slowly than casual wear. That means you get more mileage out of your clothes, and you have to think about it less. However, “changes slowly” doesn’t mean “never”. Of course, you may be entirely uninterested in that and in upgrading your work look. And that’s 100% fine. However. IF you would like to remain current, there are tweaks that you can eventually make in your work wardrobe. I want to specifically point out that this is not meant to focus on looking TRENDY, but on looking CURRENT. These are not cutting edge trends, these are not trends worn by 18 year-olds. They’re styles that are more updated than, say, 2010 - 2016 office wear. Please keep in mind that updating your work wardrobe DOES NOT mean: ● That you need to throw out all your existing wardrobe ● That you need to dress in a way that doesn’t feel like “you” ● That you’re trying to dress “like a teenager” or in any way non “age-appropriate” ● That you’re a slave to trends ● That your wardrobe will now be “unflattering” Updating your wardrobe DOES mean: ● Assessing your current wardrobe with a critical eye and identifying what works and what doesn’t ● Taking a look at more current/modern fashion styles and picking out some elements that would work for your tastes/wardrobe ● Setting some goals for what your ideal wardrobe/look/message is ● TRYING THINGS ON before forming an opinion on new styles ● Planning your wardrobe for the next few years and making strategic changes/purchases Another thing I want to insist on is that everybody’s workplace is different. That means different expectations, levels of formality, dress codes, and rules. Every idea/example will not suit EVERY workplace and every dress code. I’m not mandating anything here. I’m simply reporting on what’s current and what isn’t, for those who are interested. I tried to include outfits and ideas that run the gamut of formality. It’s up to you to assess which ones would fit your needs and which are inappropriate. You also do not need to make ALL the changes. I’m including examples of different clothes and elements, how they may have changed over the years, and what is their more current version, compared to what was fashionable a few years ago. But it’s up to you to swap the elements that make sense for you and that fit in your wardrobe. No one’s telling you to change everything from head to toe, unless that’s what you want! The Basics Most people aren’t looking to reinvent the wheel when it comes to workwear, and that’s fair. The workplace is not (usually) a fashion show - unless you work IN fashion or an otherwise creative field. But that doesn’t mean you can’t look modern and current, if that’s what you want. Even if you’re keeping your outfits basic, there is still room to update, upgrade, and style an outfit that’s as simple and “timeless” as a white shirt and black pants. The blazer Some examples: blazer 1 blazer 2 blazer 3 blazer 4 blazer 5 blazer 6 blazer 7 blazer 8 The jackets we’re currently seeing are longer and roomier than jackets of yesteryear, more menswear-inspired OR a very snatched-waist Balmain-inspired look that’s come in over the past few years, with an emphasis on power shoulders and a contrast with a smaller waist. The straight cut jacket is long (sometimes even covering the butt), double-breasted, and can be oversized. The new crop of jackets are shorter, go in at the waist, and are either single button or have a single row of buttons, a la Dior Bar Jacket. If you feel like your office is too casual for a blazer, you can opt for a more casual material than the classic black suiting. Tweed is always a good choice, you can go for wool, and for a jacket that is patterned, rather than solid-colored. That’s going to look less formal. Suit vests have also been very fashionable in recent years, and they can be a good alternative if a blazer feels too stuffy or is Too Much for your office. The button down shirt Some examples: shirt 1 shirt 2 shirt 3 Despite what “timeless classics” bloggers would have you believe, a (white) shirt is not, in fact, timeless. Nothing is. Allow me to explain. Yes, the concept of wearing a white shirt will never be “dated” because that’s not how fashion works. An entire category of clothes rarely goes out of style. However, the specific characteristics of a shirt can, and do become outdated. Things like the shape and size of the collar, the cuffs, the buttons, and the length and the shape itself are all very specific to a certain era. The “classic” white shirt from 2003 is tight, short (because it was worn untucked), oftentimes with an oversized and pointy collar and cuffs. The “classic” white shirt from 2010 is longer and straighter, with a tunic collar that does not button up, occasionally meant to be worn with a wide belt on top to emphasize the waist. It was meant to be worn untucked, on top of tight pants. The sleeves had tabs that buttoned up to keep your sleeves rolled up around elbow-level. There might have been some square pockets that were placed too high. We also saw more long, empire-waist tunic-type shirts in this 2008-2012-ish period. The “classic” white shirt from 2023 is a generous cut that’s long enough to tuck into your pants or skirt, but not long enough to cover your butt. It should end around your hip. That means that you can also wear it untucked, over your pants, without it looking frumpy. Seeing as the fashion is moving towards tighter and shorter shirts (no, we’re not talking about crop tops) to go with the wider bottoms, you can also expect to find more body-conforming shirts in the near future. Shirts with a marked waist, princess seams, and generally a variety of tops that go in at the waist. The blazers and jackets with tapered waists are already present, so we can expect the shirts to not lag too far behind. The pants Some examples: pants 1 pants 2 pants 3 pants 4 pants 5 pants 6 pants 7 pants 8 pants 9 pants 10 Slacks The current standard cut for a pair of office slacks (including suits) is a high-waisted straight leg or wide leg pair of pants, usually full length. Cropped, ankle length pants are still encountered, but usually in culotte, or wide styles, less so skinny pants. The high-waisted cigarette pants (or carrot leg, or peg leg) are still out there, but the style is meant to be a little roomier in the butt and thighs; the office is not the place for your tightest pair of pants. These often come in a paperbag waist style, which is very flattering on a lot of body types, as well as comfortable - because the belt is adjustable. The rise is getting lower, however, as low rise is coming back into fashion, meaning that you should be able to find midrise and lowrise pants in wide cuts if that’s what you’ve been waiting for. That won’t change much for footwear, but it might trigger some changes in terms of tops, depending on what styles you’re wearing now. If you were used to tucking shirts into high waisted pants, a low waist doesn’t allow for that. So, you probably need to rethink and re-strategize towards a top that sits untucked, at the top of the hips, for the most traditionally harmonious proportions. Nowadays, a lot of pants have elasticated back waistbands, or even entirely elasticated waists or drawstring waists. Office joggers exist for the new iteration of the more casual and relaxed post-pandemic office. Rises and cuts are encountered in generous varieties. There is no reason for a standard pair of slacks to be uncomfortable. And god, are there office pants of all varieties right now. (A quick note on fit: Even without stretch, a pair of pants that fits well should not be uncomfortable, should not pinch you anywhere, dig into your stomach, or feel tight or constricting. Size up, go for a straight or wide leg if a tight leg is constricting, and try a higher or lower rise if your waistband cuts into your stomach. Do not purchase the smallest size you can fit into. Bosquerella did an excellent write-up on the matter you can revisit if you need the reminder. Everyone deserves pants that fit. Whatever type of rise you’re searching for, I recommend measuring your ideal rise from between the legs and up to where you want it to hit, whether that’s 11 inches, 14 inches, 8 inches, etc. Take a tape measure shopping if you have to. Measure the pants you’re interested in or learn to eyeball it, the name of the style doesn’t necessarily tell you anything about how they’re going to fit ON YOU, because all our bodies are different. Depending on the length of your torso, you may need a different rise than the model does. Shop for your body.) Stretchy pants Leggings have never exactly been business casual, and regardless of their debatable status, they’re just not current anymore. Leggings just don’t read as polished when paired with business casual clothes, and they require a high level of effort in every other aspect of the outfit in order to elevate them and make them presentable and current in the workplace. The exception to this is an athleisure look in a workplace that is very casual and allows sportswear. Think tech or non client-facing roles in other industries. And speaking of leggings, let’s address their ugly stepsister, ponte pants. Despite their misleading name, they do not look like pants, let’s be honest. If stretchy pants are your go-to, the much better - and more modern - option is a pair of straight leg athletic fabric pants. Straight leg or flared, usually with a front seam or crease and even equipped with pockets, this version at least attempts to mimic the look of regular pants. The heels Some examples: heels 1 heels 2 heels 3 heels 4 While there are still plenty of industries and offices where heels are common or even explicitly required, they are becoming less and less expected. The current heel has changed both in height and in shape/thickness. Thicker block heels are more current than stilettos. A patent, square mid heel will serve you well. Heeled mary-janes are currently the IT shoe, and there are variations on the strappy, mid heel style at many different price points. Usually patent - but also leather, for easier maintenance, or satin, for the high-maintenance dressers - mary janes are comfortable, versatile, inoffensive, and come in many different colors at the moment. Sole thickness differs, as does shape, but a lot of them follow the rounded square shape that is currently popular in footwear. Boots haven’t gone anywhere, either. A block heel ankle or knee high boot can be perfectly appropriate for the office, as long as the heel isn’t too high and they’re not a very irreverent design. The flats Some examples: flats1 flats2 flats3 flats4 flats5 flats6 flats7 flats8 flats9 flats10 There seems to be a disconnect in mentality where a lot of people think that “trendy” shoes can’t be comfortable. Dressing for comfort doesn’t mean you need to wear basic shoes. I’m about to say something that I know is upsetting for like, 70% of this sub, but it needs to be said: Rothys are not a modern shoe. More supportive shoes are in style, thankfully, and a loafer is much more current and better for your feet. The Gucci-type loafer and the trend it sparked is a little more basic and doesn’t stand out as much. It’s less of a statement, and more of a supporting character in an outfit. The platform loafers, like the Prada ones, for example, are trendier, but they’re also very comfortable. The thicker sole is very supportive and provides good shock absorption if you’re going to be walking miles in them. If you want to retain the ballet flat style, the modern ballet flat has a flatter, square shape and dance-inspired detailing that is meant to mimic actual ballet shoes. Pointed toe shoes are also coming back in fashion, and the most modern iteration of a pointed ballet flat is a slingback. Mary-janes also have a strong presence among flat shoe styles. One, two, or multi-strap, in patent, leather or canvas, for summer, mary-janes are the perfect feminine, but sophisticated shoe that can work with a variety of outfits, including pants and skirts of varying lengths. The bag Some examples: bag1 bag2 bag3 bag4 Bags for the office can be tricky, because they oftentimes have to carry your whole life, but still remain professional-looking. That’s one of the reasons why huge, unstructured bags like the LV Neverfull and the Longchamp Le Pliage were popular for so long - they’re not cute, but they’re practical. Thankfully, something even better came along, and that is the bizcas backpack. Carrying a laptop, your lunch, your water bottle, your umbrella, and your gym shoes on your shoulder is a one-way ticket to a messed up posture, health problems, and an expensive chiropractor bill. Choose comfort, practicality, and fashion by opting for a modern backpack, instead of a gaping nylon bag with thin straps that dig into your shoulder. Leather is the most elevated choice, but leather backpacks can be heavy, depending on size and construction, so take your time assessing the best material for your needs. Fun/casual/out of the box alternatives The colorful suit Some examples: suit1 suit2 suit3 suit4 suit5 suit6 suit7 If you’re in a more formal industry that still expects a suit, the best thing you can do for your work wardrobe is to get yourself a colorful one. Suiting is huge right now - and has been for a few years - so there is no shortage of office-appropriate options that won’t bore you to death. Valentino pink is particularly prevalent as it’s one of the hot colors of the season, but Bottega green is also in, and you can find an entire range of power colors to give you that extra pop. If you’d rather play it more subdued, there are plenty of pastel options to choose from. Softer, more feminine, but still 100% professional, pastel suits allow you to cheer up your office wardrobe, particularly for the spring and summer seasons, as these tend to come in summer-weight fabrics. The interesting top Some examples: top1 top2 top3 top4 top5 top6 top7 If you want a look that’s more elevated, but still retains the same basic neutral top + neutral bottoms formula, all you have to do is tweak the style of the shirt. You can still keep it white, or another neutral shade, but make sure there’s an interesting design to it. You can play with shape - oversized, billowy, straight, cropped, voluminous, etc. - it’s up to you and your preferences, design details - voluminous sleeves, interesting neckline details, contrasting trims or buttons, etc., material - silk, linen, satin (very current), which also impact drape and silhouette. Again, color is not something you need to shy away from in the workplace, especially if you’re going to pair it with neutrals. There is nothing about colorful clothes that is inherently unprofessional (unless you work at a funeral home). If a top is professional in white, it’s also professional in blue, or magenta. A “spicy” shirt can be the visual interest you need in an otherwise drab work outfit. The midi skirt Some examples: midi 1 midi 2 midi 3 midi 4 midi 5 midi 6 midi 7 midi 8 You may have noticed that in recent years, THE skirt/dress length has been the midi. Reaching around mid calf, the midi oftentimes has a medium to long leg slit. BUT there are simpler and less sexy versions for the office. The shape is straight or conical, rather than the A-line accordion pleated midis we saw around 2016. However, it’s not the tight pencil skirt shape of the 2010s, either. Think more body-skimming, rather than a spandex-y bodycon. In addition to being very current, the midi is very office-friendly because of the conservative length. It goes great with heels, but it also looks good with flats, especially the more modern chunky shoes. A midi skirt can be worn with a classic button-up shirt, or a thin turtleneck, a chunky knit, a t-shirt for more casual offices, and it can even be taken out for drinks or shopping after work or on the weekend. A very versatile piece that can work hard in your wardrobe for the next few years. The danger with a long skirt is to not veer into frumpy, church-y territory. If you’re going for a midi look, I recommend styling it in a very intentional way, with some very modern accessories. A midi skirt with a thin-soled ballet shoe from 2012 and a long, thin cardigan might look frumpy and awkward, but a midi with a chunky loafer and an oversized blazer looks like an intentional outfit. Same with boots - forego the heeled low cut ankle boot and instead, opt for a chunky knee-high boot. It can also look very chic with a longer, oversized, chunky knit. Another way to make sure it’s not reading frumpy is to pick a modern fabric. Leather skirts are very in right now, as are satin slip-style skirts. In the right cut and in a high-quality material, they can be professional, while still remaining stylish. The sneakers Some examples: sneakers1 sneakers2 sneakers3 sneakers4 sneakers5 sneakers6 sneakers7 sneakers8 sneakers9 The main aspect people appreciate about wearing sneakers is that they are comfortable. But if you’re looking to update your work wardrobe, you should know that Allbirds-style shoes are an outdated style. A black pair could be somewhat neutral, especially combined with a chic, modern all-black outfit. But there are equally comfortable sneakers out there that are sleeker, more modern, and more professional. You don’t have to wear the chunky dad sneakers your 15 year-old is wearing, but a sleek, white sneaker with a clean shape that’s not overly stylized or embellished is a perfectly respectable choice that will bring your work style closer to 2023. No synthetic mesh, please. If you feel like white is too stark and stands out too much as an athletic shoe, black is always a safe choice. If you can afford to be really daring in a casual office, you can even try a pair of platform converse. They’re not just more current, but they’re also much more comfortable, because the sole isn’t as thin and lacking in support as the classic version. Plus you get a tiny bit of height, even without heels. The jeans Some examples: jeans1 jeans2 jeans3 jeans4 jeans5 Jeans in the workplace were once a hotly debated matter and it may still depend entirely on your specific office. But in a post-covid world, where so many are reluctant to even go back to the office at all, dress codes have relaxed and jeans are more prevalent than ever before. And why shouldn’t they be? A good rule of thumb for wearing jeans in the office is to stick to a pair that is non-distressed, and solid-colored. No rips, stone washing, or fading and whiskering. Black, dark blue, or mid-blue are all okay colors. Maybe even white, in the summer. For an updated outfit, the new styles of jeans are all very workplace-friendly, because they don’t cling to the body so tightly like skinny jeans did, so they’re not emphasizing anything that an old white man might be offended by or overly taken by. There is no reason why a pair of straight leg or wide leg jeans shouldn’t pair great with a shirt, a sweater, a blazer, and a pair of loafers for a casual office environment. I’d stick to jeans that are actually hemmed, and not distressed, but at the same time, your legs are mostly under a desk, so only you know what you can get away with! Modernize your office fit Finally, let’s look at some typical, average office fits you’d see 10 years ago, and how we can retain the same basic, reliable structure, but with updated pieces. Allow me to remind you that we don’t need to throw out the clothes in the outdated examples and replace them all with clothes from the updated ones! You can get more mileage out of your clothes if you mix and match with some more modern pieces. sweater + black pants do this instead of this The cut matters so much in an outfit, as you can see in these examples. We’re still retaining the exact same formula, but we’re simply updating the pieces. While it’s still a big, oversized gray sweater, the style becomes chunkier, with balloon sleeves. The black pants are flared instead of skinny, which is a more modern cut. The boots aren’t almond-toe, but pointed, and they match the other light-colored accessories. long top/sweater + leggings + flats do this instead of this If your office is casual enough, you may still be able to get away with wearing leggings. Rather than pairing them with ballet flats, opt for a pair of sleek sneakers. You can still keep the white shirt and the knit format, but update to a chunky knit sweater, instead of the thin cardigan. Accessorizing with a big scarf indoors is unnecessary, unless it’s cold. If you want to keep the accent scarf, opt for a thinner silk square scarf, instead. top + cardigan + slacks do this instead of this This is a great example of how you can still wear your long cardigans in a much more modern fit. If you look at the first example, that short, tight cardigan on top of a tight top makes it look like the cardigan doesn’t fit her properly; it’s straining on her body. That’s never a flattering fit. The looser cardigan with a more generous cut in the second example allows for a more comfortable fit. The belt is present in both examples for waist emphasis, but tucking the top inside the pants rather than letting it hang on top is an instant update you can easily make to your everyday fit. If you prefer an untucked top, that’s perfectly fine, but choose a looser fit and not a tight jersey top. Accessories also irrevocably date an outfit. The chunky statement jewelry can easily be swapped for simpler pieces that subtly enhance and highlight, rather than being the focus of your overall fit. sweater + jeans do this instead of this If you’re gonna do a knit with jeans for work, you can easily update the look. Swap the skinnies for a pair of straight leg jeans. The riding boots or ankle boots can be changed into combat boots or a chunky pair of oxfords, and the knit can be swapped for a chunkier, either cropped or oversized sweater. Or you can opt for an oversized knit vest. It’s worn over a t-shirt in this example, but it works beautifully over a long-sleeved button-up shirt, or even over a tight turtleneck. dark suit + heels do this or this instead of this The basic suit has changed shape, with slim ankle pants being less current than straight, long pants with a crease. The blazer is longer, less fitted, and more oversized, and the heels have more of a square toe (or a more elongated point), rather than the short pointed heel in the first example. white shirt + jeans + flats do this instead of this As you can see, sometimes it’s just a matter of styling. The two examples aren’t that different, just slightly updated. The jeans are no longer skinny, but straight-cut. It’s still a style that conforms to your shape, just more modern and less constricting. The shirt is tucked into the jeans, instead of a long, untucked shirt. We still keep flat shoes, but we choose something with a platform. Again, opting for minimal jewelry over the chunky, statement necklaces will instantly make your otufit feel fresher and more modern. If you found this helpful, check out the previous post on updating skinny jeans & new jean styles to try: https://www.reddit.com/r/femalefashionadvice/comments/11cp9nb/your_wardrobe_is_outdated_what_now_step_1_skinny submitted by /u/squeegee-beckenheim to r/femalefashionadvice [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/poisonedbymom in r/offmychest trigger warnings: disturbing - poisoning, stalking mood spoilers: Relief My mother has poisoned me - 17th May 2013 This is a throwaway account. Ever since I became an adult about a decade ago, my mother has been against me moving out of the house. I finally got a job as a line cook three years ago. My mother (and rest of family, which includes my sister and father) has been against it, mainly saying that such a job cannot sustain me (which was true). They also said that I would hate working, which turned out to be false. About a year and a half later, I quit due to health reasons. The following spring, I got a new job as a computer programmer. While they seemed supportive at first, my mother and sister (who I lived with) gradually became hostile. Eventually I moved out of the house. About a month later, I lost my job, and about three months later, moved back home. Everything was cool at first, but as I was getting calls from recruiters and going to job interviews, they gradually became more hostile again, accusing me of being distant and not caring for them. However, they seemed to be very controlling, and hateful of the fact that I wanted to move out and wanted a decent job. So last month, I finally got that job as a programmer again, but it was out of town. I had just enough money to relocate to the new city. They became very hostile starting a few days before I left, accusing me of not loving them, of hating them. On the day before I was scheduled to leave my mother gave me two of the styrofoam ramen noodles cups, and tore that cardboard covering that normally comes with it and threw it away. I was suspicious that they would try to sabotage my life, so I was careful in not trying to anger them. She gave a few more food items (which I didn't use) to take on the trip with me. When I arrived at my new city and entered my hotel room, I chilled out. I was to go to work the next day. So, after the first day at work, I ate a cup of ramen noodles, and felt ill. I knew that feeling because my sister fed me something that made me feel the same way in late 2011, which I then assumed was because of my recent illness. I felt weak, light headed, and "short of breath." I drank water to make me feel better, because that's what I did last time that happened to me. Over the week, my mother kept calling me, making sure to remind me to eat my ramen noodles (I was short on cash then, waiting for my first paycheck). I never told her that I ate it. I suspected then that I had been poisoned, and after doing some Googling, believed it was cyanide. Now that is something that you should never have to think, that your own mother would do that to you. So I resisted that thought, because I simply could not bear to think that. So, I went to http://cyanidetest.com/ and ordered a kit, and I tried it. Now, look at the graphics and the video on this page. Now, here are the results of my test: http://imgur.com/dNf1Dwy I guess I am going to have to call the cops, and I will never speak to my family again. Edit: Thank you for being my support group. You will get updates on this story. Update (8:45 AM): I am currently in Topeka Kansas. I work downtown in a government office building. which has a police department. I visited the Capital Police stationed here, and spoke to an officer. I showed him the evidence, and he said that he could do nothing about it since the package was opened, and might have been contaminated. So, does anyone have ideas? My Mother Has Poisoned Me, II - 11th October 2013 A few months ago, I posted this. I was only able to file a police report, but only that, so far. The police do not have enough evidence to investigate. I have gone "no contact" with my family. I currently live in a cheap motel in Topeka, Kansas. Yesterday, after getting "home" from work (I work for the Kansas state government as a software developer), the lady at the front desk told me that my mother called them to speak to me. For security reasons, the motel needs both the name AND room number, and my mother didn't have my room number. She didn't even attempt to call me cell phone, which makes me believe that she just wanted to know if I was staying there, and where. So, this morning, I leave a little earlier than usual. The sky was still in the early twilight phase. I take the bus to and from work because my car blew a gasket almost a year ago, before I moved and got my current job. As I was talking towards the bus stop, I saw someone in a strange car (she told me that if she visited, she would be using a rental car) using the finger to tell me to come here. I looked, but kept on walking. Then she opened the car door, and she was in a black outfit in a hood (which is strange for my mother). Then I knew it was her when I saw her face. She told me to come here, and I said no, kept a good distance. She said that she just wanted to know if I was ok. So I said yes, I am. She said that she just wanted a hug, but I said no. I don't know if there was anyone else in the car with her. But she is a gun owner, and a good shot. She routinely kicked all of our asses in Duck Hunt when I was a little kid, and still owned when playing Wii games with the gun controller. I ended up taking another bus to get to my job. So, when I get off of work, what is the best way to go "home", or should I even go? If not, where should I go? I really think that it is not safe for me here in Topeka. So if anyone knows of any .NET development jobs, please PM me. Also, please give me some advice. OOP has only ever made the above 2 posts about the situation. But OOP has provided additional info in the comments to these posts. I have included the comments below Comment 1 - More context on family dynamics - 27th Jan 2014 I was an adult (mid 20s or older to be more exact) when she tried this, so I don't know if that still applies. Oddly, she always wanted me to go on welfare so that she could use the money (even though she has been a psychiatric RN for more than 15 years, and she told me she makes about 90K for a salary about a year ago. So I guess you could say that she WAS greedy for money. What would you need my welfare payments (which totaled out to about $200/month) for when you are making THAT much money? Some other weird things about this is that she is a hoarder, and nothing around the house was ever fixed because it cost (too much money). Even when told by others that the job didn't have to be expensive, she refused to do ANYTHING to fix the house. She couldn't be bothered to buy a $100 washer and dryer. Many of the wood walls and ceilings are decaying, and there is a huge hole in the ceiling right above the tub. There are so many problems like that in the house. But again, she couldn't use her money to actually fix the house, and provide a safe living space for my now 5 year old nephew. One thing that my mother knew (because I told her this a few times over the years) was that I wanted to move out. I didn't make it about her or anything like that. Just told her that I am old enough, and that is is TIME for me to move out so that I can live like an adult and do adult things (such as dating, but I didn't tell her that because of my interest in white women and her extreme hatred of white women). So I finally got a decent job (as a software engineer) that would allow me to move out of the house. So I did that. Of course, my mother telling me to go on welfare stopped because now I had a job, and was making WAY too much money to be on welfare. My sister became more and more hostile since I get the good job. At some point, her shenanigans became so great that I HAD to move out, for my safety, as she pointed guns at me, with evil smiling and laughing (WTF). After losing my job and moving back home, my mother and sister were cool for the first few days. I spent pretty much all of my time searching for new employment. They gradually got more hostile, and actually went ape shit bananas when I took a job offer out of state, and I was handed the poisoned food on the morning of my departure. Just based upon my latest thinking (inspired by your post) she could make me go on welfare, or other things since I was living under her roof, and not making any contributing payments to the house. But when I got a good job and left to live on my own she could no longer do that, and I was in control of my money, and myself. When I first moved out (while still living in the same city as her), she tried to control my life. But moving out of state makes control all but impossible. Is there any way to find out if there are any current life insurance policies on myself? If so, I will get them cancelled immediately. Comment 2 - More family craziness - 17th May 2013 Actually, I am a black American. My mother, sister, and father hold some black nationalist/supremacist beliefs. I'm thinking that the fact that I am not exclusively interested in black women might have at least something to do with this. My sister, for instance, is a Kemetism. My mother has been a "Christian" most of my life, as far as I can tell. However, when she made her Facebook profile about a year or so back, she listed her religion as "spiritual", so that makes me wonder what she really believes. My father is a business owner, and he runs an entertainment company based upon one style of dance. I left the business three years ago because I was sick of the abuse, thought he was a sociopath, didn't want to be a starving artist, liked being a programmer much better, and wanted something better out of life. I also didn't want to be constantly talking about race, talking about "white people this, white people that", "black men (mainly those with white women) are this, that" and etc. Comment 3 - How did you suspect Cyanide poisoning? - 17th May 2013 I didn't know what it felt like. All I knew was that this was a familiar feeling (my sister fed me stuff that made me feel the same exact way earlier), and I suspected that it was poison since I has just finished a bowl of ramen noodles. I then Googled it, realized that the symptoms matched cyanide poisoning, did more research on cyanide poisoning, and then ordered the test kit (I still wasn't really to totally accept that I was poisoned, and was hesitant to go to the police, just in case I wasn't poisoned). Comment 4 - What does she stand to gain? - 27th Jan 2014 I really don't know. I will never know because I am not in contact with her. I can only make guesses. Some have said Münchausen syndrome by proxy. It is obvious that she didn't want me to leave the house and live on my own. Maybe her son is "too white". I know she did try to get me to sign up for life insurance, but I can't remember if I ended up going along. Final & Most IMP Comment/Update Almost 8 months later - 27th Jan 2014 And BTW, I have moved out of state since making my left thread with this account, and am doing very well with a nice job, and am in better health. Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/raredontstare to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hi guys. TLDR: Xi Jinping is now in total control of the entirety of the world's capital markets. Vix Guy here. Version with links and source work coming soon, but it looks like a theory I've been playing with might be coming to pass, so I'm putting this up, as it relates to GME and MOASS. EDIT: IF YOU DON'T FANCY THE HISTORY AND/OR DYNASTIC SETUP, SKIP TO 'HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS' SECTION Thanks to u/grungromp and the mods. Your considered moderation of this sub does not go unappreciated. Three things I'll ask you to remember. 1 - I was a professional historical researcher for a very long time for some fairly high-profile authors and documentary makers. 2 - I work in TV telling stories that are meant to be entertaining whilst existing in the realms of possibility. 3 - I've been writing this for a little while, and the situation is VERY fluid, so the most recent elements can date rapidly. This below is a paranoid gonzo theory-based endgame OpEd based on data from credible sources, and should in no way be taken as financial advice. China May Have Won World War 3 Without Firing a Shot - Part 1 of 2 If there’s one nation on earth that truly understands the long game, it’s China. I mean truly understands the long game. China has existed as a relatively defined territory with a unified cultural identity for more than 3600 years, a period in which Greece was pre-democratic, Sparta hadn’t yet been founded, and storytellers were conjuring the labours of Heracles and Noah. Perhaps we can think of a nation not in geopolitical terms, but as a loose collective who share a unity of purpose, a narrative history blended from myth, lore, legend, art, born of ancient, tribal affiliations, epochs of trade and cultural transactions, and brought together by a portmanteau language and urban sprawl, being governed by their own kind who conduct diplomatic relations with foreign governments on their behalf. These loose collectives will either develop to a point where their purpose achieves greater singularity – war, trade, manufacturing – and their identity strengthens, or they will wither or fracture. Winners have strong leaders. Strong leaders have foresight. Foresight breeds dynasties. And dynasties have a tendency to think eternalistically. Obviously, most are wrong, a misapprehension usually ending with a spectacular, megadeath-scenario implosion. Considered the founders of China, the thing that made the Shang emperors good at ruling was their ability to appear equalitarian without ever having to concern themselves with the fripperies of democracy. They appointed councillors and bureaucrats based on their abilities to administer government effectively, they liked to diversify, they fostered an academic, liberal, free-thinking culture, making astonishing early advances in astronomy and mathematics, whilst wholeheartedly embracing the Sopranos diplomatic philosophy of ‘Come heavy or not at all’. The general consensus was not to fuck with them, and most who ignored the consensus came to a gnarly ending. Crucially, they permitted freedom of religion and held no misguided belief in the divine right of kings. They knew that empires needed bloodlines, and any weak link in the genetic chain was, in all likelihood, game over. Following a highly productive 500-or-so-years, it was the Shang emperors’ slack religious tolerance and all-consuming concern with external enemies that was their undoing. Right under their noses, the Zhou Estate, loyal citizens for centuries, codified a singular religious doctrine and gave the Shang empire pretty much the first beating they ever took at the Battle of Muye with the purpose of unifying China under the ‘Mandate of Heaven’. But by retaining all of the Shang’s advances, they now had the tools, the smarts, the military hardware and they’d excised the one frail weakness, humanity, by installing new and improved emperors, now with extra heavenly clout. Now with no need for the populace to worry about which faith to follow, it was the Zhou Dynasty’s turn to became the longest reigning in Chinese history.. So far. Thus began the waxing and waning of Chinese dynasties. Warrior, Intellectual, Merchant, Chaos. But the people remained unified. Becoming Agriphobic Fast forward about 3500 years, and China was going through one of its waning cycles. Chaos, the final dynastic stage, was hitting all the peak values. To say that the Chinese were being tested would be radically understating the depth of ill-feeling and unrest. The Japanese had not yet morphed into their current wise-but-humble, industrious iteration and were making general Chinese misery their sole mission in life. A military coup in 1911 had toppled the last dynasty, the Qing, and established the Republic of China, but even this new, more egalitarian identity did not break the simmering tension. World War 1 raised the temperature further, seeing Japan move to permanently colonise the mainland, demanding control of everything from the economy to the judiciary. Diplomatic interventions even came from the US and UK – and consider the stunningly shady shit you had to be into to earn that during this period – but the Chinese government was so deeply in debt to Japan that they were forced to agree to many of Japan’s brutal ‘Twenty-One Demands’. The end of what the Chinese call their ‘Century of Humiliation’ was the build-up to a second world war. Many aren’t aware that more than 15 million Chinese died during their war with Japan and what would become World War 2, a shocking number only surpassed by the horror unfolding in the Soviet Union. A minor skirmish between Chinese and Japanese troops in 1937 sparked a tinderbox fuelled by a nationally felt sense of injustice, penury, and usury. China, however, was entirely unable to fund a war with their neighbours, and by 1938 was near total collapse. With 100 million refugees and the nation racked by famine, the Nationalist and Communist parties set aside their own feuding and met to discuss the fate of China. This conference produced an agreement that few foreign leaders could fathom: There would be no surrender to Japan. Outgunned, ill-equipped, starving, and with no way of knowing that another conflict would distract Japan from their mission of total subjugation, they retreated inland to continue a hit-and-run guerrilla campaign. Think on this; if the Chinese had done the rational thing and surrendered in 1938, the Indian and Soviet theatres would have had another front, with a well-armed, well-trained, well-funded, 600,000-strong aggressor radically changing the dynamic. The war could have been lengthened considerably. Or there could have been a different outcome entirely. Unity of purpose. The Embiggening of Small Men Throughout this period, two men were starting to emerge as figureheads from the intractable melee. Deng Xiaoping and Mao Zedong had been leading the Chinese Communist Party and their army during a state of virtually constant civil war with the Nationalist Party. While the Japanese invasion made them temporary and uneasy allies, it also levelled the playing field, exhausting much of the Nationalist leadership’s cash reserves and manpower. Zedong had been busily establishing a staunch following in the Chinese countryside, even forming his own breakaway state, Jiangxi Soviet, as a fuck you to the government and a masthead for his politics. As World War 2 concluded decisively in the Pacific with the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the Communists and Nationalists wasted no time in celebrating and returned to their vicious civil war. Proxy funding by the Soviets and the Americans began in earnest, with cash predictably distributed. Manchuria, 1948, and the Nationalists went into the Battle of Liaohsi as odds-on favourites. But fate had other ideas, and shit started to go rapidly downhill for the government. The Communists, more experienced in rural guerrilla tactics, divided then surrounded their opponents, before surgically cutting off their supply lines. Tian’anmen Square, 1949, and now-Chairman Mao proclaimed the war won and a new nation founded; the People’sRepublic of China. The remaining Nationalists and many of their sympathisers fled to Taiwan, declaring the island the (new) Republic of China, and the two states remain, to this day, officially at war. Chairman Mao attempted various economic jump-starts during his tenure, but he’d perhaps spent too long as a guerrilla, secreted in the undergrowth, knife between teeth, and seemed much more content with plotting wars, vengeance, and purges than with forming any cohesive plans for reform. Following the destructive and expensive stalemate in Korea, Mao’s first attempt, ‘The Great Leap Forward’, was a masterplan to industrialise China; Factories, Not Farms! Unfortunately, the ‘not farms’ part was never adequately replaced, and famine once again began to take hold. One of the Party’s most dependable men, however, remained Deng Xiaoping, and Xiaoping was a considerably safer pair of macroeconomic hands. Just as China was recovering from the 5-year famine, Zedong again went looking for aggravation, sparking off the Cultural Revolution; a violent, paranoid purge that Zedong finally had to send in his own troops to quell. The bloodshed was so frenzied and pervasive that no accurate records exist of the death toll, but most estimates are in the millions. Despite his unfathomably brutal efforts to regain total control of the Communist Party, senior officials were forced to break it to the Great Helmsman that the 10-year revolution had failed to make the country into the shining Communist utopia that he had planned. Entirely foreseeably, famine, poverty, and further economic damage followed. But by the end of the Revolution, the Chairman was in desperately poor health, his heart failing, and the elite had begun to furtively glance around for a successor. See, there are no hard-and-fast rules to this process in China. Sometimes it’s about securing yourself the most Chairs of the most box-office committees – the Military Commission, the State Council, the Standing Committee, etc – sometimes it’s about building coalitions of Party support, sometimes it’s about assembling the most guys with guns willing to do your bidding. There’s not really even an official title that comes with running China. It’s like playing 3D chess against Deep Blue while really, really high. You’ve gotta be be-yond the top of your game to win. When Chairman Mao shuffled off this mortal coil, he went with the blood of countless millions on his hands, much of it entirely non-metaphorical. Xiaoping had been a faithful soldier, leading the Party’s forces in countless campaigns, gun in hand. But Zedong had long suspected that Deng’s politics were, if not quite centrist, then centre-left at best. Their complex relationship saw Deng twice purged from the party and imprisoned during the Revolution before rising again to become Secretary-General and Vice Premier under Mao, the man who had ordered his jailing. Mao had tapped up Hua Gofeng to succeed him when he died, but Hua was nothing if not unimaginative. He promised more Mao, the same Mao, a continuation of Mao, even dressing and cutting his hair to look like the boss. He bought himself a short spell in charge by removing the generally disliked radical clique, the ‘Gang of Four’, although this was entirely accidental. Naturally, Hua was then accused of colluding with a new cabal, the inventively titled ‘Little Gang of Four’, who were later charged with failing to combat the original Gang of Four… Yadda, yadda, yadda. The problem with totalitarianism is it can get cyclical. The problem with Hua was he lacked charisma. Deng Xiaoping, however, was an altogether more astute and interesting player. He outmanoeuvred Hua and was appointed leader, supposedly bringing clear ideas for collectivism and introducing mechanisms that would prevent one-man cults of personality. The landscape was, as usual, not a hard read, especially for an old hand: the people were sick of famine, poverty, purges, and possibly even communism. He very quickly deployed his ‘Boluan Fanzheng’ program, literally translating as ‘eliminate chaos and return to normal’, then set about re-drafting the Chinese Constitution to demote Maoism and elevate economic pragmatism. He embarked on a global charm offensive, in 1979 becoming the first Chinese leader to be invited to the White House by Carter, and while in the US he showed himself to be a world-class charming bastard, sowing further distrust in the Soviets and sealing the deal to get American troops out of Taiwan. He scored tours of Ford and Boeing factories, inspecting the production lines closely. After a lifetime in the killing fields, he was entirely unfazed by an assassination attempt in Texas by a knife-wielding Klansman. Amateur hour. One can only assume that protests by both Maoists and Nationalists drew a wry smile. Back home, Deng reformed education, reopened schools and founded the ‘863 Program’ to educate China’s brightest in science and technology. But his first big announcement to the world was the ‘opening up’ of China. The government would begin relaxing things, selling off some of the vast state-owned portfolio, eventually welcoming equity investment, private manufacturing, even banking. Perhaps, if records are ever published or witnesses could speak freely, Deng will be viewed as simply another emperor who learned lessons from his predecessor to bolster his personal grip on power. But it was now the 80s, and the rest of the world cared only for cocaine, money, and breakdancing. Dead Red Redemption So, after the dull, mechanical early stages, such as agricultural reform, were complete, China was wide open, and there seemed to onlookers to be no organised system of market oversight or regulation, just a naïve assemblage of insular, ageing political idealogues. Suffice to say that gleeful hands were being rubbed vigorously together in the Western financial hubs. This was virgin territory, ripe to be taught the fundamentals of capitalism by slick, hard-nosed Wall Street guys with money to spend and tough lessons to impart. If anybody could knock this backward agrarian economy into shape, it was the City and Wall Street. With Western lead in the economic pencil, the early 80s saw China do three consecutive years of double-digit GDP growth, and in ’88, Ping An Insurance and The China Merchants Bank were founded as joint-stock entities. Corporate finance had arrived. In 1990, Deng reopened the Shanghai Stock Exchange and founded the Shenzhen Exchange. The problem now was archaic State-run industries lagging behind the private sector, garnering unwelcome attention. Government subsidies began to flood in to plug the inefficiencies and pin back inflation. 1997 proved a pivotal year for China for a multitude of reasons: Deng Xiaoping died, Hong Kong was returned to Chinese control, and a huge proportion of the remaining state-run concerns began to be sold off. Shocked military grandees were told by Beijing that even the Army could no longer run businesses. By 2005, cracks had begun to appear. The ardent reformers had grown old and faded and the private investors had cut away the dead wood from former State concerns, leaving hundreds of thousands who could legitimately blame their unemployment on capitalism and foreign actors.. Again. Unaffordable property prices and stark wage inequalities were beginning to foment unrest and, as per the playbook, the leadership was expertly reading the national mood, paying heed to what had gone before. Heavyweight Champions 2003 saw Hu Jintau get the corner office, and one of Deng’s distinctly conservative successor’s most successful policies was the to import a ‘National Champions’ program. Although late to the game, the boilerplate model got some typically Chinese upgrades. Ostensibly conceived to compete with foreign megacap corporations, the chosen companies would operate for-profit whilst benefiting from bespoke, protectionist benefits that only an autocratic national government could bestow. The less buzzworthy inclusions are outfits like the China Petrochemical Corporation, COFCO, CRRC Group, so on, so forth. Do some digging if you’re interested, but, for the purposes of this OpEd, suffice to say that, as an example, one of the hundreds of companies run by CRRC Group is CRRC itself. They make trains. In fact, they make more trains than anyone else, and they make more money making trains than anyone else. And acronyms you’ve never heard of becoming the biggest and wealthiest in the world at what they do is typical of China’s National Champions. What were formerly monolithic, dusty, State concerns, propped up by handouts and functioning only to keep unemployment low and cough sickly fuck yous to the capitalists, were now titanic international superpowers, owning assets globally that cannot be precisely, or even vaguely estimated, because.. secrets. In 2012-ish, Hu Jintau tagged in Xi Jinping, an even more stringently conservative leader, and China’s National Champions evolved again. And these you’ll know well, even if you’re unaware of their champion status or the exact nature of the benefits of which they’re in receipt. Alibaba rocketed from $20 billion revenue in 2012 to $717 billion in 2021. Tencent went from $3.3 billion in 2011 to $68 billion in 2021. Huawei leaped from $146 billion in ’09 to $891 billion in ‘20. Because here you have to re-clarify ‘National Champions’. Suddenly it wasn’t the companies or sectors or industries that were chosen – been there, done that, locked it down, lessons learned – rather, it was the people. Whereas previous eras might have seen them purged as intellectuals or right-ists, these young men had travelled, observed, learned, then returned home to seek investment. And the government now had a lot of money to invest. Some were already loyal to the Party, others could be madeloyal with a drop of startup capital. The millionaires began to pile up in China. Then the billionaires. After Jintau’s first draft, Xi’s polish saw China overtake Japan in 2010 to become the world’s second-largest economy. This year they took top spot for foreign direct investment from the US and are predicted to be the largest economy by 2028. After proving during the Shanghai equities collapse in 2015 that it could deftly and decisively handle a major wobble, the Chinese government seemed to be the gift that kept on giving. Gross inflows during the first quarter of 2021 totalled $590.1 billion, the highest comparable figure since 2010. $551 billion in Yuan bonds are held by foreign institutions and investors, with just 10% of government bonds in foreign hands. C’est la VIE Then a strange thing happened, kind of out of nowhere. The Chinese government began to increase oversight and regulation of a relatively small but highly valuable industry; online tuition. Middle class parents springing for an extra few hours of science lessons a week for their kids seems like an improbable spark for a financial crisis, but much like the skirmish with the Japanese at Marco Polo Bridge in 1937, the government rapidly escalated a minor event into something that could seemingly only end in their ignominious defeat. This time, however, the Chinese government’s war chests were chock full and the leverage was all theirs. Something many Western fund managers had been speed-reading to the point of wilful blindness in Chinese investment prospectuses for nearly a decade was the Variable Interest Entity structure. Your Chinese company would register a holding company in, say, the Cayman Islands, then enter into a binding contract with its parent company in China. Legit US Depository Share structure. SEC compliant. So far, so good. But like any good scheme, the ROI on these equities and derivatives as China boomed was beyond all reasonable expectations, and, stress test passed, billions more flooded in. The problem began with Huawei, and this problem boiled down to it being illegal under Chinese law for foreigners to own shares in companies whose business is technology and/or data. Which, when you think about it, is every company. The second problem was that the ‘binding contracts’ that the foreign offshoots selling shares in US and European markets had with their parent companies were legally ‘problematic’ to say the least. A not-very-deep dive into this second problem – which you would think is why banks have lawyers – revealed that foreign owners of Chinese stock had no legal right to attempt to petition or influence the boards of these companies. Simply put; no voting. And whether it be related to environmental issues, child labour, or corporate branding, being a nuisance – or ‘activist’ in today’s parlance – is the God-given right of allshareholders. Worse than this, the investors didn’t even own the underlying shares at all. I’m not talking about historically here. I’m talking about right now. Think on this; if you hold shares in a Chinese company that were purchased on US exchanges, this is on terms that are anathema to the theory of equities markets at the most fundamental level imaginable. Unless you bought on the Shanghai or Shenzhen Exchanges, you have little recourse. And even if you did.. Well, you still have very little recourse. But don’t sell Nio just because of that! The returns might get even more spectacular! The reason Huawei were making headlines was lawyers who didn’t work for people trying to sell you financial products started to make the point that, since 2012-ish, Chinese companies have been required by ‘law’ to share any data that the government or security services requested. Sanctions, lobbying, bellowing, and word salad from the then-President of the US somehow translated into a great deal of pause for thought worldwide. The UK government conceded that CGN, the state-owned China General Nuclear Power Company, had happily stepped forward when the British government were courting China for investment a mere 4 years previously, writing cheques to the tune of $4.3 billion dollars for two nuclear power stations in England, and with plans to build more. Not only that, Huawei had positioned itself as the only global player who could deliver the 5G network in the UK. Again, lawyers who neither worked for government nor people who sold financial products began to uncover shadowy articles in Xi’s ‘renegotiations’ with business that could essentially negate any contractual clause in any of these agreements in any of the countries that they had been agreed in. Not only had the Chinese bought access to vast swathes of worldwide data traffic, some posited that pursuing a contractual dispute could end in both telecoms and power blackouts. If you hold the view as a free marketeer that the central role of government is to keep the utilities on and businesses business-ing, then that responsibility had been cheerfully handed to avowed communists with very murky motives. France, Australia, Sweden, and others quickly followed suit in locking out Huawei. Another very interesting case study during this period is Luckin Coffee. Could there be a finer example of a US corporate success story springing forth from Jinping’s new China? Luckin raised billions selling depository shares on the NASDAQ from their registered office in – you guessed it – the Cayman Islands. Money goes in. More money comes out. Stress test passed with flying colours. Then, without word-one being said in China, Luckin revealed in an SEC filing that they were investigating an alleged $300 million fraud by a former executive involving the inflated reporting of revenue and GP. Shares plunged 80%, wiping $3 billion from the value in the US. Then it turned out that pretty much the entire board of Luckin Coffee and their family members had been pottering around New York securing vast loans against the US valuation. The Chairman alone had margin loans of over HALF A BILLION DOLLARS secured against his shares. He defaulted, and when Goldman Sachs disposed of the collateral shares, they did so at about 10% of their face value. Irrelevant, really, as Luckin’s US lawyers filed for bankruptcy protection shortly afterwards. Credit Suisse’s Singapore outfit was also on the hook for a substantial amount, so these were not babes in the wood that were being suckered in. But the interesting thing here is the fallout, or really the lack of it. Luckin had taken the money and built a thriving business exclusively in China with a mission statement of toppling Starbucks, rapidly expanding to 4500 outlets. After the ‘scandal’, Luckin shrank just as rapidly.. to about 3900 outlets. They’re launching new products and are now successfully franchising the brand. Their customer base is not less loyal, but more loyal, and they built this base by aggressively giving out coupons for free and heavily discounted beverages to undercut the US giant entirely paid for by US investors. Ordering coffee is done exclusively through the Luckin app, and with news of the US meltdown – and for ‘meltdown’, read massive criminal conspiracy to defraud – app downloads rocketed into the millions. Big data. Critically, the investigation into the fraud was entirely internal, the Chinese government expressing zero interest, despite it allegedly having occurred entirely within their jurisdiction. After a court hearing in – you guessed it – the Caribbean, the remaining shares were quietly transferred back to Beijing-based Centurium Capital – who expressed their profound shock – and the company cracked on. Chinese financial journalists combing social media detected more than a hint of smug sarcasm at the riotous success of the corporate smash and grab. The stress test wasn’t Wall Street testing China. It was China testing Wall Street. Next - Part 2 The Black Hole of Opportunities https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ptx0k8/china_may_have_won_world_war_3_without_firing_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 ​ EDIT: Intro, thanks to mods submitted by /u/MarkLawH to r/Superstonk [link] [comments]

Just for a fun exploration as well as to create a safe space for acceptance, I would like to enumerate all of the trivial and absurd things people have said men cannot do because it wasn't "manly" or "masculine" in an attempt to expose and reverse the damaging statements. Let's free ourselves of this stupidity together. Share any you have experienced and I will add it to the list below! As people have repeated answers, I've put the tally of the total responses. Crying x9 Fruity alcoholic drinks x8 (esp in martini cocktail glass) Not liking sports x6 Wearing nail polish x5 Being vegetarian/vegan x6 Sitting down to pee x5 Sitting with your legs crossed x5 liking cats X5 Being a feminist x4 Cooking x 4 Having long hair X5 Washing your hands after you pee x3 Having plants x3 Drinking alcohol other than beer x3 -ironically beer was invented and sold by women first Expressing your emotions x3 using lotion x3 Liking wine x3 Not liking alcohol(being sober) x3 Wanting a relationship x4 Dancing x2 Having epilepsy x2 Baking x3 Being bisexual x3 Enjoying cartoons with female characters X2 Doing cardio x2 Liking flowers x2 Wearing pink x2 Fancy chocolate x2 Not being excited about hunting/fishing x2 Calling out other men when they catcall women x2 Not wanting to participate in violence x2 Liking board games x2 Listening to pop music x2 Being indecisive x2 Not being competitive x2 Being a passenger in a car with SO x2 Skincare/haircare x2 Doing theatre or acting in general x2 liking romance novels/movies/anime x2 hugging male friends x2 not wanting sex all the time x3 being autistic x2 Being close friends with women x4 Wearing floral prints x2 Having a female role modelx2 Wearing colors that are not blue, grey or black, Pastel colours Wearing jewelry Wearing makeup Wearing heels Wearing certain types of fabric Holding your children's hands Skipping Smiling at people Drinking Frappucinos at Starbucks Eating a salad Having accessories in colors other than blue, grey or black Enjoying cudling Doing nice things for people you love Cuddling children Calling things cute Being referred to as pretty or cute Being flexible Singing Poetry Painting Being excited about things Talking a lot Interior decorating Having close male friends Reading books with female characters Liking romance Knitting/Crocheting Gardening Liking butterflies Not working myself to death Being emotionally supportive of friends and loved ones Telling non-sexual non-partners (especially male) that I love them Having nostalgic childhood toys like stuffed toys on display Caring about social justice Bulky sweaters Decorating your house Indoor voice Being afraid Cleaning Knowing how to treat stains Neat handwriting Chewing on things Caring about social justice Wearing fitted clothing. Not reacting when someone insults you. Trying to understand someone else's point of view when they wrong you. Rejecting the fact that I am feminine just because I'm a heterosexual man Being sick Expressing discomfort Liking drama Reading Shojo manga Not being excited about cars Not being excited about guns Not being comfortable getting naked around other men Liking sunsets Photography Crop tops Skirts putting relationships/mental health/family above career or profession. Defending women, or even just not participating in, from sexist nonsense like catcalls or disgusting "locker room talk" Certain beverages or food items also are stupidly "not manly" usually tend to be things that are sweet, as though men can't have a sweet tooth from time to time. Being vegetarian/just not eating meat all the time Not working out every day Playing sports other than physical contact ones Letting a s/o make most of the decisions in a relationship Not having facial hair Not having body hair in general Not wanting to drink underage Shopping eco-friendly Having a clean apartment Using hand gestures “Letting” women pay on dates Using hair conditioner Manicures Pedicures Brushing long hair Sewing Making/giving cute gifts to people you care about Liking Miniature painting Liking Wargaming wearing pearls according to my father-in-law, calling something “an outfit.” Being quiet or just calm Taking care of your appearance or what you eat Stopping drinking alcohol before being completely drunk (was also told eating something before going for drinks was not manly) Caring about the environment Drinking herbal tea Asking for help seeing a psychologist Liking your hair being played with Enjoying gentle physical touch Moaning during sex Enjoying someone kissing your body Being nice to people in the service industry Having sexual relations with other men Complementing women in a way that’s is not sexual such as on their style/shoes/nails etc Using an umbrella Majoring/working in the arts, social science, or humanities Painting walls colors that are not blue, black, gray, or neutrals Volleyball Piercings caring about storylines more than action not liking sports for the purposes of competition Treating women with respect Using hair dye/neon hair dye Driving a convertible being overtly interested in style and fashion. wearing earrings wearing skinny jeans liking cute fluffy animals having stuffed animals collecting toys sometimes liking metal music being depressed having piercings having problems never having dated, had sex, been married, or been in a relationship having sexual issues being submissive in any way Having a female boss or supervisor Listening to women Not liking bacon Eating sausage Doing cardio playing basketball using chapstick driving a small car drinking smoothies Changing diapers Washing baby Doing laundry Cooking for a baby Wearing a baby Pushing a pram Voluntarily taking your baby for a walk because YOU want to spend quality time Being a good dad in general Not wanting to be naked in front of other men Liking privacy when you pee Being dainty Pooping in a public restroom Helping my mother by bringing a particularly heavy serving dish in the dining room Not helping for outdoor tasks because of a fractured vertebra Suggesting to share outdoor tasks with my sisters (we already share indoor tasks with them) Not liking getting my ass groped Drinking Sangria coughing when you smoke Reading books with female main characters Writing a college literature paper with a feminist analysis of a children's book Listening to soft classical music Liking poodles over most other dog breeds Being madly in love with someone Going to the doctor Wearing loafers Not liking beer or most brown liquors (whiskey, bourbon, etc.) Crossing your legs at the knee/thigh Wearing briefs/boxer briefs (as opposed to boxers) Any and all skin care or self-care in general Wearing shorts above the knee Being a good SO/partner in general (more specifically in hetero relationships) Being born in the spring or summer Wanting to watch romantic comedies or the "chick flick" Saying no to a woman's advances Thinking that female comedians are funny Doing the dishes Vacuuming Never having been in a physical fight in my adult life presenting your nails with hand extended Being disabled Not liking spicy food Hanging out with girls Having girls as friends or best friends Enjoying small talk Laughing Being modest Being uncomfortable with your body (especially showing it) Not liking physical contact with other men / rough contact Falling asleep around other people Being silly/playful Being sexually submissive Being vocal during sex drinking from a straw Doing squats Liking musicals Using a popsocket on your phone Having my drawstrings hang outside of my pants referring to your chest as "boobs. Having a cute small feminine looking dog Talking about real feelings and depression with friends Skincare beyond simply washing your face (moisturizer, cover-up, etc) mending clothes/replacing buttons not being in the mood for sex shaving/waxing body hair like legs/armpits Liking My Little Pony meditation using bodycare was that isn't in the men's section not being religious enjoying pieces of work by women jazz unisex shirts Using an (artistic) picture of a woman as my profile pic on social media. Playing as a woman whenever I have the option in a videogame. My lips naturally being of a bright red color. Liking men Playing certain wind instruments, especially the flute and piccolo Tying your shirt around your waist - (this was in fashion around when I was in 7th grade, but by 8th grade, the "guys" had started making fun of kids who still did it) Being anything other than heterosexual Carrying a handbag or fanny pack Wearing underwear outside the "norm" (boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, jockey shorts) Following safety rules in general (safety glasses, ear protection, wearing seatbelt, asking for help when lifting something heavy, wearing a helmet or protective clothing on a motorcycle, driving the speed limit, etc). Getting first aid/medical treatment wearing a scarf enjoying anal stimulation shaving your armpits not liking war themed movies / not liking violent video games playing with dolls vacuuming taking care of your kid, especially for banal things like changing a diaper, taking them to an appointment or to the park to play watching what you eat not knowing how to drive stick Laughing at women's jokes Acting Going to college Majoring in a social science being "willing" to date trans women Sleeping with a blanket Getting food poisoning Getting a cast put on my broken wrist Not using chewing tobacco Driving a car (instead of a pick-up truck) Driving a van (instead of a pick-up truck) Driving a small pick-up truck Supporting and agreeing with the general claims and causes of feminism. Not being interested in joining the military or the police. Having a high-pitched voice. Practicing ballet dancing. Not knowing how to drive/not being a very skillful driver. Going to therapy Scented candles eating vegetables watching Queer Eye liking female artists, watching cartoons caring about how my hair looks. having dinner with another man at a restaurant Not being attracted to someone conventionally attractive Smoking weed Cat-walking! social anxiety (timidness) bad posture singing in falsetto when the bills are under your wife’s name Having a vasectomy Doing gymnastics wearing rainboots listening to music made by women reading books written by women (https://www.wattpad.com/918915702-the-princess-without-hair-chapter-1-splitting-more) having a small dog being liberal/leftist disliking porn calling out misogyny calling out racism using they/them pronouns correctly knowing your own pronouns knowing female anatomy not making your wife take your surname I once saw a guy tell his girlfriend he doesn't do "that gay kissing shit" Wearing a headband to keep my hair out of my face Having a lunch box that was purple Telling another guy his haircut looks good Watching TV at night instead of fixing things in my garage (even though I don't have a garage 🤷) Enjoying superhero movies Having my septum pierced Enjoying floral scents having a speech impediment Being sweet and considerate toward others. Not being comfortable undressing at the gym. Despising catcalling. ordering a chai latte. Tying your shoelaces Rowing a boat Watching Ru Pauls Drag race. Singing and loving Highschool Musical! stating that another man is attractive apologizing for running/bumping into someone playing with your hair having long hair without viking beard being compassionate opening up about problems accepting help Drinking cocktails or milkshakes having your right ear pierced Rollerskating Suntanning Sending sweet texts to your friends just because you thought about them Calling your extended group friends to check in and catch up every 90days-ish Keeping a diary or journal being content with your station in life (not being ambitious or doing every little thing possible for more $$$$ or salary) Not making everything monetary or transactional. Doing stuff for people for free and being friendly. Playing female characters in videogames Caring about your skin and hair Plucking eyebrows Shaving/trimming/waxing body hair Being into fashion Having a 'gay voice' Being short Having small hands carrying a plastic takeout bag by the handles, instead of holding the container wrapped in the plastic bag. Having matching furniture Not owning a car Working in a caring profession (nursing, social work, childcare, elder care, etc) Not liking bars or nightclubs Preferring non-competitive exercise (solo bike ride or weights at home) Doing lateral dumbell raises in the gym Doesn’t laugh at sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes. Drive with backrest in an upright position Being called cute by a girl interested in you putting cash in my wallet the wrong way carrying my gym bag while only using one strap Making sweets (chocolate candy) Not being into football(soccer). Being down/sad/depressed. Playing "childish" games with my kids (i.e. tea party / dolls with my daughter) Drinking soy milk Liking anal play Using apple products Having been sexually assaulted talking about uncomfortable/unwanted touching and flirting from either gender Riding a Harley Sportsters riding a scooter Complaining superhero movies wanting to wear deodorant that smells like sugar cookies Wearing Shorts Not wearing blue jeans and instead wearing khakis or sweatpants Not drinking Leaving food on your plate Stretching before a workout Eating a salad for lunch Taking your car to the mechanic Having a headache Driving a car (as opposed to a truck) Drinking tea (both hot and iced) Stopping to look at a butterfly Wearing a backpack Wearing non-white socks Listening to any music performed by a woman Sweating Any exercise other than weights being skinny, using an umbrella to block out the sun. Using a lot of emojis or for some men, emojis at all. Being put together and organized Playing as a female character. Going to AA Not finishing my coffee apparently asking a friend which shoes/shirt/pants/accessory goes best with your outfit. Having a cyan water bottle cross-stitch Giving a reach-around Eating bologna Knowing what a cowl neck sweater Making jewelry walk in a quiet, discreet way Talking to other humans openly. liking art being interested in fashion enjoying conversation Wanting kids, being an active parent, being compassionate with your children. Eating yogurt being kind and accepting of everyone Depression and anxiety taking care of health (skin, hair, nails, using moisturizer) plucking eyebrows being clean-shaven and not having any facial hair having very little body hair Not knowing everything about your car or cars in general. Taking medication for medical problems Having a period as a transman Having a lanyard for your keys Going down on a woman I ran out of characters and can't update it anymore!!!! ​ submitted by /u/Ancient-Abs to r/MensLib [link] [comments]