Tiny Houses For Sale

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... over a village, leaving the houses and people like flotsam shattered ... cookies at the church bake sale, or bringing them to their... tiny bit of control over resources. They are not banning the production or sale...

... to repair roads and build houses. Remember that no construction occurred... huge investment needed. The Big Sale turned out to be a... 40 mins of Crans Montana. Tiny places, amazing skiing, secret stashes...

... race bikes the tows two houses and same TORQUE to wheels... road legal limit size entire houses with your EV racebike motorbike... on a 2-5k used car sale buy they cant afford to... repaint before sale or restore the interiors or... removal of old engine and sale/scrap of it. A mechanic... motorfest game was delayed from sale for a long time due... each you can use a tiny bit of clearcoat or gloss ...

... my wife's grandparents house for sale. 60s modular home, though a... am in a tiny bubble where real estate is hotter than hell. Houses last for...

... I meet at terrestrial auction houses, who also sell on Ebay... SCOs rarely end in a sale. The general feeling is that .... Unfortunaterly the actions of a tiny minority of Ebayers, who scam ...

..., deliberate hand – made real. Timbered houses leaned companionably toward one another... OF THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY FOR SALE. And then, suddenly, Ms. Nilsson... light and scattered it into tiny, prismatic sparks. Mirrors lined the...

... description to be true. The houses were so beautiful - they ... look up one of the houses for sale, it would take a lottery ... the trip report for that tiny detail. After Primark, we headed ...

... and 16 acres farms for sale, I think if there is... move my people between different houses on my estate lands? my... is still living in his tiny 2x2 shack and I'd like...

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... streets, but also skittering between houses or scurrying through backyards, sneaking... diagnose injuries and do a tiny little bit of extreme Unwritten... offensive potential. Spoiler: Powers for Sale POWERS FOR SALE: You have 9 available Power ...

... the process, Overwrite slipped a tiny virus into the code, something.... Sheaman3773 said: Drugs, guns for sale, weapons for use, even stacks ... footprint the size of multiple houses, and seven stories, filled with ...

..., you can bet your tiny little asses that you won't...be established on a teeny tiny planet in an unremarkable solar...the same materials to build houses, because the idea of an... bat an eye! – this tiny piece of heaven on Pandora ...don't want to traumatize your tiny kid brains yet. Also because...mid-speech and go into his tiny little room to repeat those...put a decent weapon for sale that is. It saved him ...

... size for torx bit for sale and finally found one at... spanning it, and all the houses are either plain timber or ... don't really think about the tiny things, like needing to disassemble ...

... with beams? There were such houses before… um… ahh, how complicated... planting again. The harvest was tiny. A single stalk gave only... also advanced. She could make tiny details, carve miniature elements. Sometimes... like a thing, fit for sale, as a commodity or slave. ...

... crisis. There are not enough houses on the island for the... available for sale are unaffordable to residents getting paid in florins. Houses are...), and the lower the home sale price, the higher that tax..., where there is such a tiny local market that homeowners are ...

Edit: as of 14/05, the property has been removed from all property sale website that I could find it on. Here's hoping when it reappears, it is more reasonably refurbished/priced, so someone can turn it into a genuine safe and habitable home. 1 bedroom flat, converted into a studio and 2 bedrooms with own showers, no kitchen no lounge. clearly being sold by slum landlord. AS A 3 BED 3 BATH. when I enquired about the listing to see if there was a second floor missing from floorplan I was informed no. this property was let as a set of 3 studios. there is hob, counters, cabinets, a fridge, a sink and a bed in each room. the kitchen has had a bed and wardrobe out in it to be a "self contained" studio. the hallway storage has been turned into shower rooms for the other two "studios". there is only 1 toilet. it's in the self contained studio. this property was let with 3 tenants up until very recently. Edit: it says 3 bed 3 bath 1 reception. where the reception? the hallway!!! a Link for the curious. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/174976589#/?channel=RES_BUY there has been no consideration in the pricing for the cost of renovating the damage from neglect throughout the property. the plaster is crumbling away from the walls in nearly every room for example, so it all needs to be gutted back to a shell and redone. There Nor has there been consideration of the costs of returning the property to a proper 1 bedroom with kitchen lounge like the other 1 beds in the building. this is a 50k to 80k refurb job EASY. In some pictures it's clear that painted MDF has been used as "walls" to partition these tiny shower rooms. the main shower room pictured doesn't even have a shower on the pole, and has no tiling on floor or lower walls! how did these people bath? Also the average price of turn key one beds in this area/building is 280 to 300k. turnkey. expecting 335k is an absolute rip, and furthermore the description of the property is insulting. edit edit: this is a further rant just to warn yes, I'm aware I "don't have to buy it". that's not the point. this post was made because I'm horrified that some poor unfortunate people have been crammed into shocking living conditions, sleeping in a room 6 inches away from and oven and hob, with just enough room for a wardrobe, all while their home crumbles around then, because property is so expensive to rent now, they had "no choice" but to put up and shut up, and that the slum landlord who allowed them to live in these conditions, is now delusional enough to try and sell this cesspit for just above the current market rate for VERY NICE 1 beds in the same building and local area, and is purposefully advertising it as a 3 bed 3 bath because he and or agent are aiming for another slum landlord to purchase it. and it probably will be purchased by another slum landlord who will be happy to skim coat the walls and bang three more unfortunates in there for "cheap". it's inhumane and undignified. there are laws that are meant to prevent this. charging people to live in squalor and delapidation. but times are so desperate, these people won't complain, and predatory landlords are all to happy to take advantage. THAT is the reason I felt I need to share and vent about this property. not because I'm unhappy about it's condition and how that would effect me as a potential buyer. it shouldn't exist. it should never have been let. it's a terrible sign of the times. Example of another one of the flats in the building, sold last year at 280k in fabulous condition. https://www.rightmove.co.uk/house-prices/details/c12d161a-3e15-4d70-b040-5ca100e5cba4 submitted by /u/Nova9z to r/UKHousing [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/datadatesdaty I (27M) want to live in Hawaii. My wife (25F) doesn’t. + 7-Year Update Original Post - rareddit: January 27, 2019 10 months ago my wife, daughter, and i moved to Hawaii for a job. It’s 2 year contract. I can renew it or we can go back home when the 2 years are up. Living in Hawaii has been absolutely amazing for us financially. I make almost double my previous salary, have more PTO, bigger bonuses, and lots of guaranteed overtime pay. Housing is also paid for which it’s not back home. It’s also fucking Hawaii. We live in a luxury apartment minutes from the beach. We can see the beaches and mountains from our bed. It’s stunning. We have become outdoorsy folks because it’s just too beautiful to not be outside. The only issue is the people. My wife is pretty alone. She’s struggling to make friends. I have lots of buddies from work but not a single one is married or in a committed relationship. She has really tried to push herself to befriend other moms in the area and she’s found a few but nothing feels genuine she says. They all feel like forced friendships to her. She’s not some antisocial weirdo, it’s just kind of hard to find new friends as an adult. We have only lived one other place, the town we grew up in. We were surrounded by old friends and family. She was also in school and working back home. She’s done with school now and hasn’t gotten a job since our daughter was born. She definitely wants to go back to work but she wanted to wait until our daughter could talk before we put her in day care. I want to renew the job contract 100%, my wife does not. She wants to go back home. I feel like I can NOT go home. I have no desire to live in a tiny little washed up town while we are literally getting paid to live in paradise. I know having friends and family is important when you are a new mom(baby is 16 months old now) but I feel like if we stuck it out 2 or 4 or 6 more years, she’d have real friends here in Hawaii. Again, let me emphasize, we are living in a luxury apartment in Hawaii FOR FREE. If we continue to do this, our financial situation will be set. How do we compromise on this? I can’t help but feel like my wife is crazy for wanting to give this all up. If nothing else, moving back home is a bad financial move for us. I think my wife will like it more once she gets a job but that won’t be until much later. Any advice is appreciated. TLDR: my wife and I can’t agree on where to live Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: You are less than halfway through your current contract. Why does the decision have to be made now? I’d say drop it for a few months and focus on trying to support your wife and help make friends with families with kids, if you can. Hope it works out! OOP: We have to apply to have our contracts renewed in 2 months. Thanks! Commenter 2: Need more context on why you’re so employable in Hawaii. If the only options are Hawaii and your home town (don’t understand how this would be possible), then obviously you should stay in Hawaii if you’re making double the salary. However, it’s not unreasonable for her to want to live somewhere on the mainland that’s less lonely and closer to where she knows people. Your long term financial future is obviously more important than your wife living in her hometown where she’s comfortable. However, living at the beach is not more important than finding a compromise where she’s happier and you’re still making a good living. OOP: Huh? I work for the same company I did back home, they just do work in Hawaii too. The options are Hawaii, Croatia, and Va. It’s random but it’s just where we have long term contracts. Commenter 3: What kind of gig is this? OOP: Ship building/repair Downvoted Commenter: She definitely doesn't need to wait to put her kid in childcare to get back to work. Why wait if she needs social interaction? OOP: She refuses to use childcare before our daughter can talk. That is my wife’s choice stemming from some abusive situations she faced as a child. Commenter 4: I think you should take an active interest in helping her find things that can make her feel connected there. You are on cloud 9 there and I get why. But she is homesick and feeling isolated and this might get worse if you don’t empathize a little more with her daily frustrations. I’ve been there with an ex and he never really validated how miserable I was in the city we lived and just kept saying, “just two more years...”. Until two turned into four and I was so lonely and miserable feeling like I was letting my life just happen, waiting for him to be ready to move. You should set her up with a spa day while you take the baby. Or fly her back home for a week to see family. Or find a community centered around things that she likes to do and encourage her to join in. But mostly, just listen to her and empathize. If she is feeling frustrated, don’t just launch into why you love it so much and get your sales pitch ready for staying. Let her be sad or uncomfortable or whatever and just validate she feels that way. She knows where you stand and why, but it sounds like you still have some time to make a hard decision. So for the time being, just let her vent it out and be there while she does. It’s a strong possibility that just feeling like you understand will start to change her outlook.   Update: April 16, 2026 (over seven years later) I know everyone’s been waiting for the update… 7 years later lol found this account while clearing out old passwords and figured I’d update! Well, we moved. Happy wife, happy life wins again lol We moved back home for a while and we *both* hated it. Thankfully, I was on a 6 month contract, so I got to relocate. We chose SC this time. It wasn’t great either. We liked the location. Weather was nice, scenery was nice, good stuff for our daughter. Nothing to write home about but nothing to complain about. The kicker for us was the work contracts there. The pay was the lowest of all locations, the ability to get OT wasn’t always there, less PTO, and the company didn’t really give a damn about this location so day to day operations were a shit show. We were there a year. Next contract, I signed for Florida. Never in my life did I ever think I’d pick Florida, but I did some travel work there and we had a nice time. This was a new location, so it was rusty work wise, but the benefits and pay were above SC. So now we live in a beautiful house, I can fish with my daughter off the dock in our backyard, my wife never did start working and we’re happy with that! That said…she still sucks at making friends lol we’re now at the age that we are mostly ok with that. Since we live on the same coast as our family now we can visit and have them visit more often. I don’t really consider my coworkers my friends like I did back then so we’re in the same boat as far as friends go. We’ve made some through our kid but they’re not BFFS FOR LIFE status. I never did grow tired of Hawaii, but I was ok with it once it was time to leave. Really glad the wife and I were on the same page about not living in our hometown. Going from Hawaii to plain ol’ suburbia with all the seasons was bleak. Florida has its issues no doubt and it’s the last place I ever thought I’d settle down but it worked out. TLDR: wife hated Hawaii, I loved it, we left. Now happily living in Florida. Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: Out of pure curiosity, what were the main things that your wife hated about living there? OOP: The social scene and the isolation. Traveling back home(east coast) was not feasible on a regular basis. Traveling anywhere wasn’t really feasible. Our daughter wouldn’t have known any of our family or lifelong friends. Trying to spend holidays together would be a nightmare. Now, we sometimes do holidays just the 3 of us, but not having the option is kind of soul crushing. We’ve had some big losses on both sides of the family over the years. I’m thankful we were able to spend time with them before they passed and traveling to the funeral wasn’t a huge hassle to take on during our grief. The social scene is just kind of weird for “expats”. We weren’t military but we weren’t locals but we weren’t tourists but we weren’t retirees. We didn’t really fit in. The friends she made never really felt anything more than surface level, just some other moms that were in the same boat, desperate for socialization but probably wouldn’t have been friends on the mainland. Downvoted Commenter: Sounds like you should have stayed in Hawaii and got a new wife. OOP: That would be a weird thing to do. I love my wife way more than Hawaii. Commenter 2: Seven years and you finally found your spot! My husband and I went through similar moves for his work and it's crazy how much location affects happiness even when you think you're being flexible. Commenter 3: Hawaii isn't for everyone, and rock fever is a thing. . .that said, I'd move back to the 808 tomorrow if the opportunity arose. Glad you found your happy medium. I wouldn't mind parts of Florida if it weren't for constant swamp ass and crazy fuckers.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Note - this is written by hand, compiled bit by bit over a few months, not AI before people try and make those token comments. It's also f-ing long, but it's better than having to make ten million scattered comments on other threads addressing all these issues individually over & over again. I also work in a space that intersects real estate data, investing and finance, and deal with these types of numbers daily. ____ First, it's helpful to just start off with just the raw ABS data on Australian immigration figures & countries so that people can see the raw numbers we're debating. These are the NOM (Net Overseas Migration) figures to Australia from the ABS from 2015-2025 to give an idea of the recent trend while also including pre-Covid years for comparison: 2015 - 184,030 2016 - 206,230 2017 - 263,350 2018 - 238,220 2019 - 241,340 2020 - 192,700 2021 - (-84,940) 2022 - 170,920 2023 - 528,000 2024 - 446,000 2025 - 306,000 Our current 'reduced' level of 306,000 (https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/overseas-migration/latest-release) as reported at the end of 2025 is still ~25%+ higher than pre-Covid, and over 40% higher than the ~10-year average. Objective fact: our population in the country, regardless of visa status, increased by nearly ~1.3 million people living here in just three years, just from immigration, not counting natural births which would make it even higher. For comparison, that's slightly less than the entire population of Adelaide, or nearly 4 x the population of Canberra. By Country: Net overseas migration for 2023-24 by country, countries with the most permanent migrants to Australia (excluding those with a humanitarian profile) are: India People’s Republic of China Philippines Nepal United Kingdom Pakistan Vietnam Sri Lanka South Africa Iran https://www.homeaffairs.gov.au/research-and-statistics/statistics/country-profiles/profiles The breakdown of the intake from the 'top' handful countries by volume for the past year looks like this, which is a factor due to the heavily white-collar-focused intake from these main source countries: https://preview.redd.it/oqorp22qbyjg1.png?width=1964&format=png&auto=webp&s=7b16ccc3447af9cc68980ca87e16ff79000dda0e _____ Now, let's get to debunking the individual major 'myths' repeated on this topic that attempt to underplay the effects immigration has on Australian house prices. Myth 1: "Immigration only affects house prices a tiny bit, but it's not one of the main causes so not even worth talking about" False. Even studies that have attempted to prove that immigration doesn't affect house prices much have STILL estimated it to be the reason for well over 20% of price rises. E.g: this study from 2020 (conducted pre-Covid, when things weren't even as bad as they are now) which the Grattan Institute consistently cite in their various justifications for this & is used as one of the most frequent justifiers in all sources on the topic: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S105681902301151X "We find that an immigrant inflow of 1% of a postcode's population raises housing prices by around 0.9% per year. As a result, Australian housing prices would have been around 1.1% lower per annum had there been no immigration." Based on the average Australian annual house price rise of 3.8% per year (for the years prior to Covid which the study is based on) across Australia from 2010-2019, versus a 1.1% attribution to immigration = immigration accounts for approximately ~29% of the annual price growth. That's almost one-third of the price rises, attributed to a single cause... in a study conducted when immigration numbers were much lower than they have been over the past few years. The only other single factor that is estimated to have even close to such an effect on house prices is zoning restrictions (not negative gearing, not AirBnB, not the CGT discount, not interest rates). And even that (higher-density zoning changes) is based on the assumption people will simply shift their lifestyles to live in small, inner-city apartments from larger living spaces if zoning is changed, which Aussies have consistently shown they are reluctant to do. Myth 2: "Migrants are the ones who are building the houses in the first place" Recent migrants work in construction at much lower rates than the local population, thus making the situation worse, as we bring in far more people who require houses built for them than who actually build themselves: https://theconversation.com/australia-is-welcoming-more-migrants-but-they-lack-the-skills-to-build-more-houses-222126 "Migrants who arrived in the last five years account for only ~2.8% of the construction workforce, despite representing ~4.4% of all workers overall - indicating relatively low participation in construction trades among recent migrants." - Grattan Institute This is further exacerbated by the shift of our immigration intake towards source markets from which tradespeople are under-represented; as The Conversation indicates, the primary source immigration markets for skilled tradespeople are the Philippines and New Zealand; as these become disproportionately a lower part of the intake, they drag down the percentage of tradies with them. Even in recent years as the government has supposedly tried to 'increase' this, as a share of purely permanent skilled visas we still have roughly ~13% going to construction occupations, where mathematically in order to make up actual ground on home building that number needs to be closer to 30%+. Our top 10 'skilled visa' job roles consistently contain jobs such as Cook/Chef, Cafe Manager, Marketing Specialist, Accountant, as well as a couple of (vital) medical roles such as Nurse. https://www.homeaffairs.gov.au/research-and-stats/files/temp-res-skilled-report-30-jun-2024.pdf Regardless of what you personally think about the relative 'necessity' of each of these roles to Australian society, the fact of the matter is they all require additional housing and soak up existing supply. Myth 3: "International students live in special student accommodation & don't take up 'normal' housing" Again, categorically false; even the Labor government has directly stated this. "The Education Department’s analysis shows about half of the 696,162 student visa holders in Australia were living in the private rental market in 2024, while another 135,000 students will enter private rentals next year under conservative estimates." https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/minister-concedes-immigration-too-high-as-students-compete-for-city-rentals-20240920-p5kc3i.html Australia also currently faces a serious under-supply of student accommodation, a.k.a "PBSA" (Purpose Built Student Accommodation): "The Student Accommodation Council estimates that 84,000 new PBSA beds are needed by 2026, but only 7,700 are currently in the pipeline, leading to a range of challenges for students, universities, and local communities." https://tbhconsultancy.com/from_crisis_to_opportunity_unlocking_australias_student_housing_future/ CBRE (property developer) even estimates that only 6% of students in Sydney & Melbourne can access PBSA near their uni's: https://www.cbre.com.au/insights/reports/student-accommodation-2025-pacific Myth 4: "It's property investors driving up prices, which has nothing to do with immigration" Simply put: people almost universally do not invest in houses without the guarantee of A) someone needing a place to rent (which subsidises the investor loan), and B) the expected guarantee of capital gains upon selling, due to there always being someone desperate enough to buy for a high price as a result of a growing population. No amount of tax settings, whether it be negative gearing or the CGT discount, can make residential property attractive enough if neither of these are true. Tax settings simply amplify the benefits of demand; they don't create it from scratch... people needing a place to live do. Banks also assess risk in granting investor loans based on estimated rental yields and vacancy rates; if those are low, they will simply not give out as many loans to investors. Banks and lenders look at an investor's serviceability (their ability to pay back the loan) based on two income streams: the investor's salary and the projected rental income of the property. Our current record-low rental vacancy rates guarantees a pool of desperate renters willing to pay overs, which property investors look at and know they can exploit to charge high rents, adding enough rental yield $ to justify the math of the property loan. If vacancies were high, rents would be falling, then investor demand would fall sharply. Myth 5: "House prices went up during Covid, therefore immigration does not drive house prices" The "COVID argument" is a classic example of ceteris paribus ('all other things being equal') being ignored. All other things were not equal during COVID - while the "migration engine" was turned off, all major other "engines" were turned to maximum. This is what's known in rhetoric as the "Single-Cause Fallacy". This is a logical error that attempts to justify that because multiple other things happened, it therefore means something else therefore can't be true. In reality, the COVID-19 period didn't prove that migration "doesn't matter"; it simply proved that other factors were temporarily much stronger, enough to override it. Interest rates were lowered to record-low levels; construction material costs surged; the government handed out enormous amounts of stimulus money; mass amounts of people were given Work From Home rights & wanted bigger places to live; people weren't spending on anything else so pumped all their money into housing. This was a one-off anomaly; if immigration had somehow ALSO been as high as it is now during that time, it would have created a 'double-squeeze', putting even more pressure on prices. Myth 6: "Migrants mainly rent, not buy, so they don't affect house prices" Even if it's true that many migrants rent first (which it mostly is), they still increase demand in the housing system. As mentioned before, tight rental markets raise rents, which increases yield $ on housing. This also results in houses being kept as rental properties, removing the house from the 'buyer pool' and removing an additional property that a potential First Home Buyer or other person looking for a home could otherwise purchase to live in. International Students are also able to buy properties while living here, not just rent, which has been happening at an increasingly frequent rate as they look to escape being gouged on rent themselves: https://www.sbs.com.au/language/chinese/en/article/international-students-tackle-australias-housing-crisis/n8yoysj3p Myth 7: "But international buyers comprise only a tiny percent of the house purchases each year" This is misinformation that comes from people thinking data on International Investors is the same thing as immigration. The 'tiny percent' figure of 'foreign buyers' is people from overseas approved by FIRB to buy properties here to use as investments; it's often used as a way to park foreign money as Aussie property is seen as a 'safe haven' for many wealthy people from overseas. Labor recently instituted a (temporary) ban on this practice for 2 years; in 2022-23, the last financial year for which data is available, there were 5,360 foreign home purchases, which is where the "less than one per cent of all sales" line people spout on this issue comes from: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-02-16/labor-matches-coalition-ban-on-foreign-housing-investment/104941620 These are the people who 'buy apartments and leave them empty' that people cite as a boogeyman and act like are reflective of the entire property investment market. This has nothing to do with immigration, and is (was?) only a much smaller driver of demand, albeit still a small factor. Myth 8: "It's a supply issue, not a demand issue" Perhaps one of the most brain-dead 'arguments' on this issue that is repeated over & over again... politicians in particular seem to LOVE this line. There is simply no such thing as 'only' a supply issue or 'only' a demand issue. It's a 'false dilemma' that ignores that supply & demand are two ends of the same spectrum, with the only difference at any one time being how easy one or the other are to address. It also suggests you must choose between blaming supply or demand, but in reality, price is the intersection of both. High migration acts as a "multiplier" on bad supply policy. If supply is already restricted by zoning (as groups like Grattan argue), and we also lack the labour force to build enough supply at the rates required to keep up with population growth, then adding more people creates an even more extreme price spike than it would in a flexible market with higher vacancy rates. And due to our aforementioned lack of tradespeople (due to migrants being under-represented in construction), supply is currently far harder to address than demand. Myth 9: "Migrants are poorer and can't afford expensive homes/migrants only live in apartments" This attempts to lump all migrants into a single group, ignoring the fact there are multiple categories of visa (students, temp skilled, permanent skilled, working holiday, parent, etc. etc.) that all have different financial situations & levels of wealth. People on Reddit who rabidly defend high immigration often make the smug 'Schrodinger's migrant' comment, implying a sarcastic (and naive) assumption that a migrant can only affect one part of the market. In reality, the high volume of migration puts pressure on both ends of the spectrum simultaneously through different mechanisms. International students and low-skill workers compete directly for low-cost rentals. This drives up the "floor" of the market & when the cheapest rentals disappear or spike in price, it forces everyone above them to pay more, creating a ripple effect that pushes up the median. Australia's migration intake is also heavily skewed toward Skilled Visas. Many of these arrivals are also high-income earners who arrive with significant savings, often in currencies strong compared to the $AUD, or with pooled funds sourced from family members given to them specifically to buy property after arriving here. This cohort don't just "rent a room", they compete for mid-to-high-tier housing either immediately or within a few years. Myth 10: "You are just blaming immigrants" False, and a favoured technique of those trying to turn the discussion into an emotional one, and/or try and get discussions on this topic locked or removed. Blaming immigration (policy) is not the same as 'blaming immigrants'. Immigrants themselves do not set the policy, and attacking the way the government handles intake composition, infrastructure spend, housing supply etc. are not related to the individual people coming here themselves. By attempting to shut down discussion on immigration policy, you are attempting to imply that people are unable to criticise the government, which is a core aspect of non-democratic, totalitarian & fascistic societies. ___ Summary: If you actually read this whole thing, credit to you. Is immigration the "only" cause of the housing crisis? Of course not - the title of this post is a primary driver, not the only driver, and that's not what's being stated anywhere within this post. However, it's a factor that (on Reddit especially) is constantly told to not talk about at all and/or is not relevant, which is also obviously untrue. Even if we accept the absolute best-case scenario that immigration contributes 'only' ~30% of price rises, that would make it by definition one of the 'top 3' factors, and one that doesn't require multi-year solutions to address. I look forward to the rebuttals/half-truths from the property investors, business owners, international students who use Reddit etc. who will all no doubt brigade this thread and try to use the "R" word in order to continue to justify this broken system continuing. submitted by /u/NoLeafClover777 to r/aussie [link] [comments]

I was the last kid to leave home. I was an oops kid and my older brother and sister were in high school when I was born. After I finished university I asked my parents if I could stay at home to save up. They agreed so long as I paid for my own expenses and contributed $300 a month for food and utilities. Good deal for me. I then fell in love with a friend's neighborhood of little houses. I found one for sale and grabbed it. My parents downsized immediately to make sure none of us could ever move back. Okay that is facetious. They are retired and were tired of Midwest winters. My brother and sister are both married with children. My folks supported me and helped me get established in my career. I love them and am super thankful for everything they did for myself and my siblings. I asked them if they could please put my china cabinet, china and cutlery into storage with their stuff. They said they weren't going to get storage and were getting rid of everything they weren't going to use or store in their new place in Arizona. I asked if they could store the stuff for me and they said no. I got a couple of friends and we moved it into my new house. My house was built when the railroad was a bigger deal. They built entire neighborhoods for their workers. Tiny little houses with decent size yards for gardens or kids. So think 600 square feet. No basement. It still has a clothesline. A couple of months after I moved in I had a housewarming party. I had exactly four if everything from IKEA. Plus one pot, one pan, and an air fryer. So I used my fancy plates. My friends aren't children so none got damaged. Afterwards I realized that I had stuff like serving trays and gravy boats. Everything an adult needs to adult,l. Regarding food service anyways. So I just use them all the time. Mostly when I have people over but also when I have not done dishes and I want to not eat out of takeout containers over the sink. I was face timing with my folks and eating and they noticed that I was eating off a Royale Wedgewood Precious Moments plate using Ming Dynasty Imperial silverware. I may have some terms wrong here but you get the point. Mom asked me why I was using that plate and fork to eat. She said it was only for special occasions. That it was an heirloom meant to be cherished and protected for generations. Not exaggerating here. That's what she said. I told them that they were my plates and I would use them however I wanted. They got very upset and hung up. Then I got calls from my brother and sister. They both admitted they only called because mom told them to. They said to do whatever I wanted. They said that they weren't huge fans of fancy china but that mom had insisted it go on their registries. We hada big laugh and I promised to tell mom they told me to save my nice stuff for a Royal visit. My mom actually ordered me an eight person set of cheap china to use every day. I thanked her and I am using that instead. Unless I want to feel fancy. Don't tell my mom. submitted by /u/Salt_Reply_735 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

Update 2 (1/9): All codes are out. Thanks and enjoy the games Update: I didn;t think I would get so many comments, so fast. I am going to close it and give out the games (12/29 at 9 am). Hey, (This may get a little crazy, so I apologize in advance, and please don't DM me.) Only comment below. I have over 400 Humble Bundle Steam codes to give away. Please comment below with the games you want. Only comment with names for 1-2 games (I want to spread as much love as I can to as many people as I can). I am going to put your name into a random selector. If it selects you, I will PM you the code to a game. I will remove games as I go. If a game code comes with DLC, please comment with the DLC names as well. I am going to leave this post up for a couple of days and will close it once I start selecting names. Again, please don't DM me. I will remove you from the name selector. I want to keep things as transparent and fair as I can. Here is the list: Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?! Subterrain AER Memories of Old Bear With Me - Collector's Edition Acceleration of SUGURI 2 Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom Serial Cleaner Blackwake Sudden Strike 4 Forged Battalion The Escapists 2 Zombie Night Terror Figment Battle Chef Brigade Gremlins, Inc. NeuroVoider Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator Seven: The Days Long Gone Hard Reset Redux Sniper Elite Full Metal Furies Tom Clancy's The Division™ Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival Darkside Detective Q.U.B.E. 2 Regions of Ruin Wizard of Legend Cities: Skylines + After Dark DLC EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: BM03 Vegalta Gold EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Depth Crawler Gold Coat EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Gogo. Marking EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gigantus DCC-Zero Marking EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Gleipnir EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Ifrit EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 1: Time of the Mutants EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Mission Pack 2: Extreme Battle EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack A EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Pure Decoy Launcher 5 Pack B EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Reflectron Laser EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Spark Lancer EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Sting Shot EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Volatile Napalm Aaero Bleed 2 Distance God's Trigger MOTHERGUNSHIP State of Mind The Adventure Pals Almost There: The Platformer Surviving Mars Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon Yoku's Island Express Love is Dead NAIRI: Tower of Shirin Duskers Paratopic Pool Panic I'm not a Monster The Journey Down: Chapter Three Absolver She Remembered Caterpillars Steel Rats Tannenberg The Spiral Scouts Puss! Override: Mech City Brawl Evergarden 11-11 Memories Retold Sword Legacy Omen Regular Human Basketball Fluffy Horde Chasm Cities: Skylines - Synthetic Dawn Radio Cities: Skylines - Green Cities Cities: Skylines - Content Creator Pack: European Suburbia Cities in Motion: US Cities Cities in Motion: Tokyo Cities in Motion: German Cities Cities in Motion DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES Desert Child TRAILMAKERS Unrailed Dirt Rally 2.0 - Porsche 911 RGT Rally Spec DiRT Rally 2.0 - Opel Manta 400 DiRT Rally 2.0 - H2 RWD Double Pack SHENZHEN I/O PROJECT WARLOCK The Hex Underhero Planet Coaster - World's Fair Pack XCOM: Enemy Unknown Complete Edition Carnival Games VR Boundless Vikings - Wolves of Midgard Outward - Soundtrack Worms Rumble - Legends Pack DLC State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition Soundtrack Lemnis Gate Kingdom Two Crowns Generation Zero Borderlands 3: Director's Cut Black book Per Aspera JUST DIE ALREADY Before We leave PARADISE LOST Evergood Calico Yoku's Island Express X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC Wizard of Legend West of Dead We Are Alright Wargroove WARSAW Wandersong Wanderlust: Travel Stories Vagante The USB Stick Found in the Grass Treasure Hunter Simulator Tooth and Tail Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove This War of Mine Telefrag VR SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION Supraland SUPERHOT Sunset Overdrive Starbound Soulblight Slinger VR Slay the Spire Skullgirls 2nd Encore Shing! Say No! More Satisfactory Rustler RPG Maker VX Roarr! Jurassic Edition Ring of Pain Radio Commander Quantum Break Post Void Popup Dungeon Pixplode Pikuniku PGA Tour 2K21 PDF-Suite 1 Year License Pawnbarian Pathway Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook Out of Reach: Treasure Royale Orbital Racer Nex Machina Neverout NecroWorm Music Maker EDM Edition Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021 Moon Hunters Monaco Metro Exodus Max Payne 3 Lust from Beyond: M Edition Lust for Darkness The Long Dark Liberated Kingdom Two Crowns Iron Danger Intro to Game Development with Unity Inmost Hexologic Going Under Go Home Dinosaurs GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months GameGuru Fury Unleashed EarthX Endless Space 2 DV: Rings of Saturn Driftland: The Magic Revival Drawful 2 Draw Slasher Dear Esther: Landmark Edition Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC Crying Suns Corridor Z Car Mechanic Simulator 2018 Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons Broken Age Book of Demons Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7 Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs Amnesia: Rebirth The Amazing American Circus 112 Operator MASS EFFECT LEGENDARY EDITION NICKELODEON ALL-STAR BRAWL THE DARK PICTURES ANTHOLOGY: MAN OF MEDAN NEBUCHADNEZZAR POLICE STORIES EVAN'S REMAINS DESTROY ALL HUMANS! MONSTER SANCTUARY KILLSQUAD ROGUE HEROES: RUINS OF TASOS SUZERAIN CHICKEN POLICE NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM - REHYDRATED SPELLCASTER UNIVERSITY IF FOUND... GENESIS NOIR EMBR STAR WARS SQUADRONS PHOENIX POINT: YEAR ONE EDITION Call of the Sea Gamedec - Definitive Edition Pumpkin Jack I am fish SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE August 2022 humle page 3 The Ascent UNLEASHED A Plague Tale: Innocence In Sound Mind Mind Scanners Emily is Away

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/MooseAMZN Moved into new house. Previous owner hid HORRENDOUS cat urine problem Originally posted to r/legaladvice & r/bestoflegaladvice Original Post July 7, 2018 Hi, My wife, newborn baby and I just moved into a house that we closed on at the end of May in Portland Oregon. As we were moving in, we noticed a cat urine smell that we hadn't noticed during our prior visits. After we got all the boxes in, I began crawling around and found two 8-10' patches of carpet literally soaked in urine. I rented a carpet shampooer and that didn't work so I had a carpet cleaner come out, and he confirmed the carpet is a goner and that some of the sub floor was rotting/molding. The main issue is the living room and hallway, about 410 square feet of flooring in total. I took tons of pictures. I immediately got a flooring guy out who ripped everything up and we found that the two long patches of urine soaked areas had recent patches to the subfloor, previous owner is a contractor, so it's clear the he knew how bad the problem was and tried to rather poorly fix it or hide it while the house was for sale. Additionally, when we moved in there were three air fresheners plugged in. All signs pointing to a problem that they knew about. It's going to be about $3,500 all in with carpet cleaner rental, pro carpet cleaner, repair work and new flooring. There is a chance we will have to do a flood cut to some of the drywall where urine is on the walls. To me, this 100% qualifies as something that they should have declared as a "meterial defect affecting the value of the property." Should I even bother talking to the previous owner or should I go straight to small claims court? Issue is he moved out of state and I don't have his new address, so I'm not sure how I can serve him. Can I sue for damages beyond the cost to repair in small claims court? This is a major inconvenience. I'm on my last few days of paternity leave and have spent most of it shampooing carpets, getting bids, etc instead of actually moving into my house and enjoying time with my wife and new baby. Additionally, had we known about the issue, we would have adjusted or rescinded our offer. I'm not one looking for a hand out but we were duped here. Thanks for any insight you have. TOP COMMENT dralph You were given a property disclosure statement as part of the voluminous paperwork when you purchased. From what you describe, the seller knew about the cat pee — the air fresheners and attempt to remedy via apparent floor-work. And besides, a reasonable person would say, "Hell yes, seller knew." But yet, he failed to list this issue on the disclosure form. You can bring suit for the failure, with damages equal to what's required to satisfactorily remedy — and done right. Doesn't matter that you got a home inspection. Doesn't get seller off the hook, or take away remedies available to you. Punitive damages can be obtained under some circumstances (intentional and/or major disclosure deficiencies). New carpet throughout (you want carpet to match, and damage probably widespread), new sub-flooring, maybe painting if walls have been sprayed. But, before you jump into this, inspect every square inch of flooring/carpet, and walls, if you haven't already, with a UV flashlight, at night, with lights off, for best results. You may know, this is best way to spot dog/cat urine, even if old, even if no detectable odors. See discussion here. Read this Oregon-specific discussion about disclosure process in Oregon. Note that it even mentions in extreme situations, rescinding the transaction — unwinding everything. No idea how often that happens, or if this rises to that level (I suspect not, unless there are allergy issues arising that can be proven to be related). Good luck! BTW, have to wonder if selling agent knew about this ... was the attempt at remedial work done after his/her first visit to home, before was put on market. If attempted fixes weren't yet done, assume the odor would've been really noticeable. Much as he/she would like to distance themselves from this, not so sure it's quite that easy. Experienced real estate attorney will know the answer. RELEVANT COMMENTS biffoboppo Have you discussed this with your realtor yet? Did you have a home inspection? OOP We did an inspection but the room was full of furniture conveniently blocking most of the problem areas. The inspector did note the air fresheners but he thought there was moisture in the crawl space and assumed they were hiding a smell there. There was no moisture in the crawl. Spoke to my realtor and she spoke to the seller's agent. They basically said to sue to other guy cuz the transaction is done. Seller's agent wanted nothing to do with it. twiddlingbits Of course not, be has his fee and it is your problem. If the agent knew of the problem or reasonably should have suspected based on observations then they are on the hook too or whomever holds the broker license at that firm. The fact they are not willing to help out leads me to think they at least suspected. Also if you had a home inspection done and they went under the house and did not identify a subfloor issue that significant they may also be liable. The inspector may carry insurance for such but you should not ignore their culpability here just because you hired them. Talk to a real estate attorney, try to find one with experience in transactions, not just a guy who does closing papers or deals with surveys or zoning. Good Luck. OOP Good advice. Thanks. If I do talk to the previous owner before sending a demand letter, I do plan to ask if he discussed the issue with his realtor. It was very odd how quickly his realtor wanted nothing to do with it. Who know... Maybe the realtor told them they needed to fix the issue before selling the house and that prompted the sub-floor patches that only hid the issue. maumacd Dude who is your realtor? My realtor spotted one air freshener. We unplugged it, closed some windows, waited thirty mins walking around, went back inside. DOG PEE yeahhhhhhhhh haha She was like never trust a place with an air freshner. OOP Home owner was helicoptering around us the entire time, even at the inspection... Sigh. OOP when "advised" in the comments it's a small problem In the disclosure form, the last question is, "are there any other material defects affecting the value of the property?" The seller marked "no." Cat pee in itself is likely a grey area for whether it applies, but the urine itself is not the sole problem. The rotting/molding subfloor, in my opinion, qualifies as "a material defect affecting the value of the property," not to mention the fact that the odor was so bad you could smell it from outside. Does this sound like a tiny problem you'd be fine with ignoring? Or does it sound like an issue affecting the value of the property? Would you buy a house with these issues or would you want it fixed? Perhaps you are R Kelly. Had the seller disclosed the issue, and not hid it, I would have lowered my offer, asked them to repair it or backed out of the deal. It's not just a little pee in the carpet. It's a major issue. Update 1 Aug 21, 2018 (6 weeks later) It's been a while, but I wanted to update my prior post about an undisclosed cat-urine problem in the house I just bought. Original post: https://reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8wqhov/moved_into_new_house_previous_owner_hid/ Since the first message, I got a consult from a lawyer, and as I described it to him, he agreed it's likely breach of contract, negligence and misrepresentation. Most likely a home run small claims case. I also confirmed that the house contract stipulates we should resolve claims that fall within small claims court (under $10k) in small claims court, so that's where I should be handling this. The reason so much time passed since the first post is I was trying to discretely get the seller's new address through a relatively unknown post-office method, which didn't work. I also tried simply sending the demand letter to my house addressed to them with the expectation it would be forwarded. It was forwarded but was never delivered according to USPS tracking. (I sent priority mail with signature confirmation.) After a few weeks of waiting for the address or for the forwarded letter to be delivered, I hired a process server in the state they moved to to get their address. I got it almost instantly and resent the letter, which was delivered in the 17th. Today, I got a text message from the seller saying they received the letter, that they would be emailing me their response, AND they made sure to include that they "did not fail to disclose and did not hide anything." I debated not responding, but I responded saying that I am expecting a check for the full amount requested by the 22nd (date I gave in the letter) or I'd be filing the small claims lawsuit the day after the due date. The seller was typing something as seen by the magic 3 dots on my iPhone, but after like 30 seconds, they stopped. I'm currently awaiting the email they said they'd be sending me, simply out of curiosity, and have a draft completed at my county's website to submit the small claims lawsuit on the morning of the 23rd. Final Update Nov 26, 2018 (3 months after last update) This is a bit long... hop on for a ride if you like. ​ I submitted this post https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/8wqhov/moved\_into\_new\_house\_previous\_owner\_hid/ a few months about how I moved into a new house and the previous owner did a remarkable job hiding a very bad cat urine issue. A quick summary of the original situation: ​ - Moved into new house on July 1st. IMMEDIATELY notice a funky smell while moving in that I hadn't noticed before. - Crawl around on floor in large living room and notice several large 8-10' long patches of HORRENDOUS cat urine odor. Gently touching it with my hand transferred the smell to my hand. - Previous owners also conveniently left THREE air fresheners plugged in to outlets that room. They left none in any other room in the house. - Rent Home Depot shampooer, doesn't help at all. This was at 6am the day after we moved in because the smell was so bad. - Hire a pro the next day (2 days after move in,) He pulls up carpet to find black mold and says based on his pro opinion, there is nothing he can do. Carpet and subfloor is total loss. I had him shampoo it anyway because he did say it'd mask the smell temporarily - Hire flooring guy to replace it all - After ripping up the carpet, we see large patches to the subfloor and carpet padding in the smelliest spots… clearly they knew and tried to repair the problem at some point. - I consulted a lawyer, and he agreed that it sounded bad enough that the previous owners should have declared it on the disclosures. They didn't. - I send the previous owners a demand letter asking for full payment to cover cost of all the work. - They respond by email and basically said "We sold the house "as is," the carpet was old, our cat died years ago, we like air fresheners and weren't trying to hide anything and that the previous patches to the sub floor were done about 7 years ago "due to pet urine." I should add that the subfloor was damaged so badly by cat urine, they had to patch it, BUT they left the carpet that urine had to pass through to do that damage. - So… I sue them in small claims court. ​ With my initial post and a follow up post which I think I deleted, I got a mixed bag of some support and some people pointing out that I should have noticed the issue, and if it were so bad, why didn't I smell it before or why wasn't it discovered during the inspection that I had. Well, I have a pretty solid theory as to why we didn't notice it. ​ Here's where my brain went, and it proves pretty solidly that the previous owners knew how bad the problem was and did their best to hide it from me while I was buying the house. ​ - My wife and I toured their house literally 2-3 hours after it was listed on a Thursday. We offered Friday morning and they accepted Monday. We had the inspection done literally the next day, so from the time they listed it to the time we had the inspection done, only 5 days passed. - While I can't prove it, I have had carpets professionally shampooed many times in my life and it gives the carpet a certain look. It was clear they had the carpets shampooed before they listed the house because the carpets had that look. This look is visible in the pictures from the listing. - Thinking back to what my carpet shampooer said, he told me the carpet was so bad, he'd only be able to mask the odor for a bit, but that it would come back. Moisture and heat actually crystalize one of the chemical components in cat urine (the one that doesn't come out of carpet and the one that smells,) so while the carpet shampooing will mask it for a short period, it may in fact make it worse due to the crystallization from the heat/moisture of the shampooing. - The recent carpet shampooing was likely done right before they listed it. That, combined with the three air fresheners did a great job masking the smell. Remember, only 5-6 days passed from the time it was listed to the time the inspection was complete. 5-6 days of shampoo smell mixed with air fresheners. - Ok, I am now expecting some of you to say, "well… you can't prove they shampooed the carpets. Your case is weak and if they deny it, your whole 'masking theory' goes out the window." - At this point, I was feeling pretty defeated. It's clear they knew about it and were hiding it, but how could I prove it if they simply denied it? - I then began thinking about the mold. Ok, the previous owners told me their cat died years ago, so why was there black mold on the sub floor? By the way, the mold was ONLY located in the most egregious smelling spots of the subfloor. I have pictures of this. The mold was not everywhere in that room. - A light went off in my head. MOISTURE CAUSES MOLD. Where did this moisture come from? In their response to my demand letter, they admitted to me that their cat died years ago and the subfloor patches were done 7-10 years ago. - THE ONLY PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATION - THEY SHAMPOOED THE ABSOLUTE FUCK OUT OF THE WORST SPOTS SO SEVERELY THAT IT SATURATED THE SUBFLOOR IN WATER AND CAUSED THE BLACK MOLD TO GROW. There is literally no other explanation. They had no pets in the house and the mold ONLY appeared in the spots where the subfloor was patched. This proves they knew how bad the smell was, they knew where it was located and they spent so much time shampooing it to try to get rid of the problem that the subfloor began to mold/rot. ​ As a summary, I sued them because they failed to disclose this when selling the house. The last question on the disclosures was, "Are there any other material defects that affect the value of the house?" They said no. I have proved they knew about the issue, and I have proved how severe it was. The repair work and replacement of the floor, shampooing, etc was just under $4,000. $4,000 is a lot of money. This 100% qualifies as a "material defect" that affected the value of the house. The smell was so bad when we moved it, it could be detected from outside the house. I have a newborn and it was a health risk to have her on this carpet. Had we known about this issue we absolutely would have rather A) revised our offer to cover costs to repair. B) Asked for the sellers to repair properly. C) Rescinded our offer. It was that bad. It was not inhabitable it was so bad. ​ On 10/29, we went to mediation at our county courthouse because my county mandates you try mediation before you go in front of a judge. I came with about 30 pictures of the damage, receipts, a copy of their response to my demand letter, pix of the air fresheners only in the one room from the real estate listing and a statement explaining the situation as I did here. ​ I also had the flooring guy write a letter explaining what he found upon accepting the bid. He's been in that business for 16 years. Not only was he a flooring contractor, he previously spent time working at a restoration company and was certified for mold abatement and removal. In his expert opinion, he said it's the worst pet urine issue he'd ever seen. The letter was notarized. ​ Mediation was pointless. They offered to pay the $160 for carpet cleaning. That's it. I told them I'd settle for $3,000. They said no. I then told them I looked forward to winning when we present everything in front of a judge. They hung up the phone at that point. ​ I just got back from small claims court. After I presented all the info to the judge, the previous owners didn't really have any sort of logical defense. They tried to say that the house sale was "as is" and that they told me the carpet needed to be replaced due to pet damage. That was in fact a complete lie. They never said that. The judge basically said it's clear the damage was severe and what could be proved was they didn't disclose it and that when selling a house you have certain "obligations to be honest" and he ruled in my favor for the full amount. TLDR: Moved into house. Previous owner's had a cat named R. Kelly who pee peed all over the living room. It was not disclosed and it was bad. I sued them and won. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

A few months ago I found a small capybara plush on the street, I picked it up, washed and fixed it, and it became my favorite plush. I took it everywhere because it was small and fit in my pocket, and I really loved it too much. A week ago an aunt of mine came to stay with us for a visit and brought her son. He’s only 10 years old, and he saw this plush in my pocket and since he likes capybara plushies, he wanted to take it from me. I told him no, that this one wasn’t for playing and not to even touch it. He got a little upset about that and didn’t mention it again over the next few days, so I let my guard down. I left it at home one day because the jacket I wore that day had small pockets and it was just for a couple of hours, but when I came back home, I couldn’t find my plush (Kuma) anywhere. I searched the whole house and even started crying because I was worried, and that’s when my aunt told me that the kid had taken it to the park to play, and well, he didn’t have it anymore. He lost my plush at the park. Since it’s nearby, I went and searched everywhere, but I guess someone picked it up and took it. I cried a lot, and the only thing I got was people saying “Don’t cry over such nonsense, you’re too old for plushies anyway,” or that the kid was just playing, and I got really upset... Just looking at their photos hurts. Today I went to a store that sells stationery and other things, and while I was looking through some stuff, I saw another capybara. It made me sad because it looked kind of abandoned at the back of the shelf, it was the last one and had an adorable little face, it was on sale, and I couldn’t resist buying it. I don’t know why, but I felt a certain connection to it. So when I got home, I took a bit of the stuffing I had from my previous capybara, because at some point I had changed its stuffing, and I bought some red felt, made a tiny heart (similar to the one in the second image), and filled it with Kuma’s stuffing. I opened the new one and put it inside, and also added a bracelet I really like around its neck. I think it looks nice on it. I feel like he’s my little Kuma. I know it sounds kind of silly, but I think his soul or essence is in the new one and that he’s still with me. It was the only thing that could calm me down because I’ve really been feeling awful. However, I don’t know if this is the right thing to do. Even though I feel really good with the new one, I keep thinking, what if that’s just my imagination and the old one is simply lost forever and I just replaced him? 😞 I don’t want to think about it... I just hope someone kind picked him up and takes good care of him. submitted by /u/Trick-Donut-3221 to r/plushies [link] [comments]

I (38M) make mosaics as both my job and my art. I’ve spent the last year working on a kitchen-themed piece that’s part of a personal series. It’s about six feet long, took hundreds of hours, and is kind of my “baby” right now. It’s not for sale yet — I’m planning to show it in a gallery later this year. My neighbor “Claire” (40sF) came over last week and saw it in my studio. She immediately started gushing over it and said it would “match her dining room perfectly.” I thought she meant in a “wow, I love this” kind of way, so I said thanks. Then she asked if she could borrow it for her dinner party this weekend. She said it would be “such a conversation piece” and “everyone would totally tag me on Instagram” so it would be “free advertising” for me. I said no — it’s fragile, irreplaceable, and honestly, I don’t loan out my art like it’s a casserole dish. She got offended and said I was being “stingy” and “killing the vibe of the community.” She told me she’d be super careful and even promised not to “spill wine on it” (???). I told her again that it’s not happening. Now she’s been cold-shouldering me whenever I see her. Another neighbor mentioned she complained about me being “selfish” over “just some tiles.” So… AITA for refusing to loan out my mosaic UPDATE: Neighbor drama over my mosaic got weird So, I didn’t think this would escalate, but… it did. The dinner party night came and went. I didn’t hear any loud music or see any guests — so I assumed maybe she’d moved on. Nope. Two days later, I come home from running errands and notice my front door is slightly open. My stomach dropped. I go inside… and my mosaic is gone. I look around and see tiny bits of grout on the floor, like she’d tried to move it in a hurry. I walk over to her house, knock, and sure enough — there it is. My mosaic. Propped up on a buffet table. Still with little bits of brie and cracker crumbs on it. I asked her what the hell she was doing, and she just goes, “Oh relax, I was going to bring it back tomorrow. You weren’t even using it.” I told her I was calling the police if she didn’t give it back immediately. She rolled her eyes, carried it over like it was a laundry basket, and said I was “dramatic.” Now a couple of neighbors think I’m “overreacting” because “no harm was done,” but I’m honestly still floored that she just… broke into my house to steal my art for a party. So yeah. Guess I went from NTA to calling a locksmith. submitted by /u/MoesSouthwestGrill to r/AmITheJerk [link] [comments]

I am not the OP. That is u/TraditionImpressive2. This is the new update to three previous BORU posts, which can be found here, here and here. Trigger warning: attempt to baby trap, mentions of abuse Mood spoiler: happy ending for OP and her new family Original post posted in r/AmItheAsshole on August 17, 2020 AITA for refusing to sell the place I bought with "stripper money"? For several years I was a stripper. I have no shame about what I did, and only quit when I got a better job offer. In the time I worked as a stripper, I intentionally lived as cheaply as possible (shitty little studio flat, living off ramen, wearing old clothes) because my coworkers all told me that they were able to buy their own places on their income, so long as they saved like crazy. Before I "retired", I managed to outright buy myself a 3 bedroom flat. I rented out the other rooms for a while but I got sick of having roommates, so now I have them up online for shorter stays, but not to rent. I met this guy about 18 months ago, and we've been together since. He knows about my employment history, and he said that he has no issue with it, though he did ask me to tell his family the white lie I occasionally use (on my CV and stuff), which is that I was a waitress (which I kind of was tbf). A month ago we found out that I'm 2 months pregnant. He says this is great news, and we should move in together. I assumed he'd be moving into my place because he rents his (far smaller 1 bedroom) flat while I own mine, and I have room for a baby's room while he doesn't. Also, I really don't want to leave my flat. It's my flat, I love it, I could see myself living here for the rest of my life, and I don't want to lose the security of owning a flat and have to go back to paying rent or a mortgage each month. However, he then said that he didn't want to move into my place, and said I should sell it and we buy a place together. I said that I like my place, it means a lot to me that I was able to buy it, and it represents years of working my arse off scrimping and saving. He then said that he understands all of that, but we should be living together by the time the baby comes and he didn't want to live in my flat. I asked him why not - it's a great flat, it's central to everything, it's spacious, it's got room for all his stuff, there's a daycare in the building (run/owned by another tenant) and a school 5 minute walk away, the list goes on - and he said that he didn't want to live in a flat that was bought with "stripper money". That really pissed me off, and I told him no fucking way am I selling my flat and that he never had an issue with my "stripper money" paying for this flat before now. I said I wasn't giving up the security of owning a home for someone who tries to make me feel ashamed about something I don't feel ashamed of. He said that his point is if I sold the flat then we could get a new place with the money from the sale. I said "wouldn't that still be stripper money?" and he said "that's different", and I asked how. He then said he was going back to his place because "I can't talk to you when you're in this state". He's gone back to his flat now and he's texted me saying I'm overreacting/irrational and I need to think of this realistically rather than emotionally. He says he wouldn't feel right raising a child in my flat knowing how I purchased it and selling/moving is the best idea of all of us, not to mention the fact he isn't on the deed because it's my place and it "would never feel like our place" because of this. I feel I might be the arse because I get why he might feel like it's just my place and I feel I'm being too rigid in a time we need to work together, plus I spoke to my sister and she sided with him so 2 out of 3 people think I'm in the wrong here. AITA? Relevant comments: Regarding the boyfriend’s financial situation: Let's say you did sell it, how much would he be contributing to buying a new place? Has he similarly been saving a bunch? Or would it be you selling your place to buy a new place all by yourself? He doesn't have much in savings. He has a startup company that he's trying to get off the ground, but he's only had about 4 clients hire him in nearly a year. He swears that eventually business will pick up but he left a far better paying, salaried job and now works in hospitality for minimum wage through an agency, because the old job wouldn't let him have a startup while working for them, and he's basically burned through the savings (and bridges) he did have to keep the company afloat. It sounds like option 1 would be us buying a new place while I rented out my flat, meaning that we would put down a deposit and then we'd pay off a large mortgage together. Option 2 would be selling the flat, in which case as it's a 3 bedroom flat, we'd probably have about 80% of the total cost of a 3 bedroom house, and then we'd get a far smaller mortgage that we'd still have to pay off. Why the sister agrees with her boyfriend: She's my big sister, and she loves me, but she never really approved of the stripper thing. This might be that manifesting. Does the boyfriend have an issue with OP's stripping past?: If he thinks your home is tainted by being bought with the proceeds of working in the sex/entertainment industry... then we already know what he thinks of you deep down You know what's super funny about this? And by funny I mean infuriating? Every celebration, he and his friends go to a strip club. Whether it's a bachelor party, birthday, graduation, promotion, whatever, he goes at least once every few months. And he has the nerve to have a go at me for being a stripper years ago! More on the pregnancy: It wasn't planned. We spent the first 6-ish months on and off and we fully broke up for about a month around 6 months ago, so we haven't even discussed moving in together. People suggest that the boyfriend might've tampered with the birth control: And... by any chance, is it possible that he manipulated your birth control / condoms? I'm not on BC for medical reasons but we always use protection. I never noticed anything weird like a leak or a tear. • He wouldn't do that. OP makes an update on the same post: Update on the off chance anyone sees this: I dumped him. There was a whole conversation and during the conversation he said he didn't want to be a parent if I wasn't willing to do everything he wanted, including sharing a house/deed (plus staying together). Also, at the start of the conversation I said what a few people suggested, which was that I'd be willing to sell and split the house with him, provided he paid 50%, and he got very very angry, very very quickly. He also said a few other things, so IDK how it's all going to pan out just yet, but it looks like I'm going to be a single mother. Update 1 posted in r/LegalAdviceUK on August 18, 2020 (1 day later) I have 2 audio recordings of my ex admitting to tampering with birth control. Is it any use? In England. I recently found out I was pregnant. I am not on the pill and don't have the implant, either, due to medical reasons, so our only protection was condoms. I am now 2 months pregnant with his child. I own my own flat and have a well paying job, while he owns a failing startup and does agency shifts. We talked yesterday. Someone suggested I recorded all interactions, as a few people had already guessed that he might have messed with our birth control, so I set my phone to record as he arrived. During the conversation, he initially said that if we weren't together as a couple, then he wouldn't want to be in this baby's life, and when I said we could work out split custody he said "that's bullshit". Later in the conversation he said "I thought a baby would fix things". I responded it couldn't have fixed anything, if anything it made things more strained with us as the baby wasn't planned and he snapped at me, "of course it fucking was. How'd you think you got pregnant? fucking magic?". He then paused and he said "I mean that... it wasn't like... stop making that face, I'm joking". I directly asked him "are you saying you messed up the condoms?" and he (quietly but audibly) says "yeah". I told him to get out of my flat and he said "look, have it, don't have it, I don't give a shit" before he left. I later texted him, saying "just tell me why." He then called me, so I started recording on my mp3. Over the phone he admitted that he was hoping I'd sell my flat, buy a new place with a mortgage, and "we could give the business a boost". I hung up on him. Hours before the initial conversation, I spoke to a solicitor who deals with custody stuff regularly, so he's said he'd help me with the custody stuff. However, he's married to my friend, and I love her but she's a bit of a gossip and can be a little condescending (as in "oh, poor you"), so I don't want either of them knowing about any of this if it's unusable. My ex was not aware that I was recording at any point in either recording, and there's no visuals, only audio on both recordings. We did say each other's names a few times on the first, but not at all on the second. Is this admissible in a custody battle? Is it useful due to the context? I feel like he's said all the things that would win my case if there was one, but if he can't do anything with it then I don't want him knowing about it. If it is useful and admissible, then do I just send it to the friend's husband? Thanks in advance. Relevant comment: Why does OP want to use the recording?: I'm worried he might push for 50/50 custody in order to avoid paying child support, or ask for majority custody so I have to pay him (which he could win as he has family while I only have my sister and I have an employment history that could make me look bad), or he'll otherwise try to pull something if we end up in a custody case. After hearing this, I want full custody, and I'm worried he'll push back in general. Update 2 posted in r/AmItheAsshole on September 6, 2020 (3 weeks later) UPDATE: AITA for refusing to sell the place I bought with "stripper money"? Quick recap on my first post. I spent several years working as a stripper, at the end of which I was able to buy my own flat. I'd been with my boyfriend for about 18 months, and I'm currently around 3 months pregnant. With the news of the baby incoming, my boyfriend said he wanted me to sell my place so we could use the money to get a new place together, and when I refused he called me irrational. I thought I was TA because of that, plus my sister sided with him. Now for the update, because a lot of people asked for one. First off, I dumped him. He initially said that he doesn't want to be a parent if we're not a couple, but earlier this week he told me he wants majority custody so not only does he not have to pay child support, but if he gets majority then I end up paying him (he actually said that was his reasoning). He also runs his own startup, and admitted the startup is basically done for, and he was hoping that when I sold my place I could also put a cash injection into his business with the money, so basically this was all about money for him (and I have extensive documentation of all of this). There's going to be a legal case, but I've gotten legal advice, and it looks like I'll be able to get sole custody, which is what I intend to go for. In the last couple weeks, my sister has doubled down and is trying to get me to fix things with my ex because "a baby should have a complete family", so I've not been involving her in my pregnancy, which she is furious about. She also told our parents, which I am furious about, so we're not speaking right now. I also want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my first post. When I first posted, between my boyfriend and my sister, I was genuinely convinced I was in the wrong, so to have such an overwhelmingly supportive response really helped me realise that I shouldn't doubt myself so much, and with that realisation, plus everything going on right now, I've decided to go to therapy, which I will be starting next week. All in all, the outcome of this is probably going to be me being a single mother in the flat I own. And honestly? Pretty decent outcome. Relevant comments: Regarding child support: According to the child support calculator, the minimum child support I would be paying if he had majority custody would be £50 a week. I think a packet of nappies is about 5 or 10 quid, and baby food is like a quid per jar. No way would he be able to live off child support, even if he had majority custody, and the fact he thinks he could shows that he really hasn't thought this through. More on the sister: She does have a "complete" family, or at least the start of one (husband, a kid, and trying for more kids). I think she's pushy about the whole idea of a "complete" family because our birth family was... not a great situation, so she seems to want all of our siblings (5 of us) to marry off, have some kids, and do right by them. It seems to be really bugging her that I'm willing to be a single mum and mess with the "complete" family she's pictured me having, but I am going to do right by my kid no matter what. Thank you :) • Honestly we didn't have the most stable home life growing up and she was really big on wanting a regular, nuclear family as soon as she could build one, so I think maybe our upbringing has translated into pushing/wanting this whole "complete" family as adults. • I thought that, too, and I wanted it to be true, but then she told our parents I was pregnant and until that point, I believed it could be from a place of love, but telling our parents about the baby is not coming from a good place, or at best it's coming from a good but naive place. They kicked me out when I was a teenager for no good reason, she's tried to get me to mend fences with them and I've refused, and of our whole extended family I'm only in touch with one sister (her) and one brother. Update 3 posted in r/BabyBumps on September 13, 2020 (1 week later) It's twins! I have no due date! And I'm panicking! I wasn't sure if I should tag this as rant/vent or help? because I'm panicking and it shows but I also need advice. So I had a scan today and it's twins. The tech said it was hard to tell but she thinks they're identical. She also asked how far along I thought I was and I said the number I worked out was 14 weeks, but I wasn't 100% certain as this was my first proper checkup (aside from my GP who said they'd tell me at the scan), and the tech said both me and the babies were a little big for 14 weeks, and that we looked more like 16. She offered me an estimated due date which is just the first half of March, then said that with twins it can be harder to tell, and that didn't exactly ease my panic. (though everything else looks good so that's amazing) But twins! There's 2 of them! And there's 1 of me! And I think it's just really hitting me right now that I have never been a mum before and I have no clue what I'm doing and there's going to be not 1 but 2 tiny humans depending on me who are arriving some time in March! When in March? It's a surprise! I have room for twins. I have resources for twins. I think I have the energy for twins. But I am terrified. I have no clue what I'm doing. I have 3 bedrooms, so do I put them in separate rooms or together? My friend offered to stay with me for a little after the birth, and I said no, so am I going to need to take him up on that? Is there anything different about having twins that I should be aware of (aside from there being 2 of them)? Also what do I do about this window the tech gave me? Is that normal? Are they going to be able to narrow it down at any point? I know I just got out a lot but if anyone has any advice for me on the due date (or due window of time) or the whole twins situation it'd be really great. Update 4 posted in r/relationship_advice on March 1, 2021 (6 months later) My friends have been amazing through my pregnancy/post birth. How do I adequately thank them? I spent ~18 months in a relationship that in retrospect was very controlling, and I fell out of contact with a lot of friends because of how my ex felt about them. My ex and I broke up, I was pregnant with twins when we split, and I began therapy. The therapist got me to reach out to friends I'd neglected. There were 2 in particular that I really missed and decided to reach out to first, "Lily" and "Caleb". They were happy to hear from me, and were completely understanding of the situation with my ex. I reached out to them mid October, and it's like we never stopped talking. I've been friends with Lily since we were kids, and I met Caleb at university, nearly a decade ago. My ex didn't like Lily because she's bisexual (as am I), and he didn't like Caleb because he's a straight man. Since October I've been talking to both of them regularly. Christmas rolled around and we were all alone, so I said they were welcome to come over. Lily and Caleb had met before this, but they were more acquaintances than friends, and they became friends over Christmas dinner. They, and a couple other friends, pitched in and bought me a mixer plus a metric fuckton of baby stuff for Christmas. Lily and Caleb then began coming over more often. They made a group chat so we could make plans together, they helped me put together the nursery, Lily drove me to one of my appointments, and when I mentioned in passing that I was craving ice cream Caleb showed up with 4 tubs the next day. These are just examples, but generally they went above and beyond the last few months. I went into labour 3 weeks ago, nearly a full month early. With preemie twins things have been hectic, and I wasn't taking visitors for the first week, but a few days after coming home they told me in the group chat to open the front door, and when I did there was a bag containing ready meals and snacks, plus a couple tubs of formula. When I began taking visitors, they would show up together, and one of them minds the kids while the other cleans. The only reason I'm able to write this right now is that they came over earlier, Caleb got both girls to go to sleep, and Lily left me a meal for tonight. I have a weird relationship with the concept of asking for help. I had to be self sufficient from a young age, so asking other people for help is uncomfortable for me. They know this, which is why they're not waiting for me to ask, so much as they are just showing up and helping. I have been thanking them profusely, but they always tell me not to thank them, saying that we're friends so this is completely reasonable, but I know they're doing a lot more than anyone else would in this situation. Which prompts the question: how do I adequately thank Lily and Caleb for everything they've been doing the last few months? Where do I even begin? Relevant comments: A letter is a really nice idea, and it would save me from just saying whatever comes out of my mouth lol. We have watched a movie/TV show together a couple times but I've always ended up falling asleep. I'm thinking about doing some baking in a bit, so I might make them some brownies. • You could name them godparents. I can't believe I didn't think of that. I will absolutely do that, so long as they're willing. • Although if you want to go totally nuts, you could ask them both to marry you. :) It's tempting, tbh. I mean we have been flirting a lot. Just not sure we're there yet lol. • They aren't together, I introduced them at Christmas, and we're all flirting with each other. It was started to boost my self esteem and now it's an inside joke. Very glad the girls don't understand what we're saying yet. • I think all of these except the BBQ are doable (I live in a flat, no garden). The brownies are done for the next time they come over and I'll look into flowers now. They are very into hugging, I usually end up cuddling up with at least one of them (sometimes both lol). Thank you. OP makes another post about people offering to watch her kids unsolicited. I couldn't include it, but she gives some information about her family in the comments. It can be found here Update 5 posted in r/Adoption on May 16, 2021 (2½ months later) Sister wants me to adopt her baby, who she has promised to our abusive parents. I already have twins. Is this a good idea? I have 3 month old twin girls. I have been no contact with my parents for a decade, due to them being highly abusive and kicking me out as a teen. I am not letting them meet my kids because of this. My sister is 3 months pregnant. She lives with our parents, and says she intends to continue doing this as she doesn't want to raise a child, but they want a grandchild, so the idea is they would all live together and my parents would raise the child while my sister was only the mother on paper. I called my sister to work out a way to get the baby away from our parents. She said if I want to take the baby, she will allow a legal adoption, but that's the only other option she will consider. The bio father is not going to be involved, so he doesn't factor in here. I have the money to take in a third child, and with a bit of adjusting I could make the room. I can extend my maternity leave to a full year (it's meant to end soon), meaning that when the new-born arrives I would have 3 months left of my leave to get settled. I am a single mother, but I have a strong network of friends to help and my job has been very good with me taking leave and my work entitles me to free childcare. Would pursuing the adoption be a good idea? What would potentially having 9 month old twins and a new-born at the same time look like? Would being so close in age affect the kids growing up? Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, but it seemed like the most logical forum to go to. Relevant comments about the sister, the parents and the adoption: If we were to go along with the adoption and my sister were to change her mind last minute, I would be surprised, and upset, but I would understand. I loved my twins from the minute I knew I was pregnant, I can't imagine ever willingly giving them up, so if it turned out my sister felt the same, I would accept that. There's a reason bio parents are usually given a grace period to change their minds, and I would be willing to honour that. I would only draw the line at her changing her mind after several years. My sister moved in with our parents voluntarily. She's in her mid 20s, and would have been able to continue living alone, she chose to move in with them and support them financially as she was concerned about them. If they did hypothetically kick her out, which is unlikely given that she's paying for everything, she would still have income and land on her feet, and when we were talking I offered her my guest room and financial support if she wanted to move out, so if she were kicked out and couldn't afford a new place, I would be willing to extend the offer of a rent free guest room and financial support again. • I have no idea what her plans are. She's 24 and was living alone before the national lockdown, at which point she voluntarily moved in with our parents in order to support them, but she could have continued living alone, so it was entirely her choice, and she can leave any time. I assume that if the situation becomes untenable she will choose to move out again, but she says that she feels she owes it to them to support them as they supported her until she was 18. I've said that is absolutely not how that works, but she is very insistent. • No. She says that she has to stay with our parents, as she feels that she owes them her help, and that if I were to take the baby, she would have no responsibility to said baby. She also has no desire to be a mother in general, so even if she did move in with me and the baby, she would not want to provide an extra set of hands, or help with any of the (3 total) babies at all, and I'm in a far better financial position than she is, so she wouldn't want to provide income, either. • If she got pregnant again then I have no idea what I'd do, but she's said she's certain she does not want kids and wants to look into permanent birth control after the birth. She is completely willing to sign away all rights and make this a full and legal adoption, where she is the aunt and nothing more. We would of course explain the biology to the child ASAP but she would never want to act as a mother. I'm sort of hoping she doesn't take me up on the offer to live with me, as we never particularly enjoyed living together as kids and I think that plus having her around the new-born, particularly if she's still in contact with our parents, could be a recipe for disaster. She could afford to live alone right now with no issues, so I doubt she'd take me up on it anyway. Update 6 posted in r/2under2 on May 16, 2021 (same day as the previous post) I might have 3 under 1 in 6 months time I posted this elsewhere but someone directed me here so I hope this is okay. I have 3 month old twins and my sister is 3 months pregnant. She wants me to adopt her child, meaning that when my twins are 9 months old, I may be adopting her new-born, giving me 3 under 1. The 3 month olds are doing well. We got off to a shaky start, but they're currently sleeping 4-5 hours straight, so I'm hoping they'll be sleeping through the night soon, and haven't had any serious issues despite being slightly premature (couple weeks). I've arranged childcare for when I go back to work. I'm meant to go back soon, but I can either extend my maternity leave to a full year, meaning that I'll be off for 6 months, then the new-born comes, then I'll have another 3 months to adjust, or I can go back for 5-6 months and then take a second round of leave when the new baby comes. Which sounds best? I have a 3 bedroom flat, and the plan was that as the girls got older, they would get a bedroom each, but if I brought in a third child, what would be the setup? Could they share a room? How long for? Would I need to get a bigger place right away or could I hold off until I have a little more in the bank? I really want to take my sister's kid in, as it's the only way to keep them safe, but I don't know if having 3 babies on my hands at once is the best idea, particularly when I'm a single parent. Could anyone in a similar position give me a better idea of what 3 under 1 would look like? I'm think I'm doing pretty well with 2 but a third child who is 9 months younger than the others doesn't sound easy, to say the least. Any advice (or opinion) is appreciated. Thanks. Relevant comments: Would the sister give up the baby for adoption?: She would not. She says either our parents raise the baby, or I do. I did suggest other options, such as offering her resources to enable her to keep the child (she says she doesn't want to be a mother) or asking our siblings to take the baby, (she says they are all ill equipped to take the child (which is true)). Placing the baby up for adoption was mentioned, but the system isn't great where we are (better than most places but still not great) and she doesn't want to take any chances. She says that she knows I'm a good mother from what our brother has told her, and she trusts me with her child, and if I can't do it, then our parents will. What if OP and the parents said no?: My parents would never have said no. They want a grandchild really badly, and this has only been exacerbated by me having kids that I won't let them see. Frankly, my sister has been my parents' lap dog for a while, and my parents can be very manipulative, so if she were to admit that she intentionally conceived solely to give them a grandchild that they could see, I would not be surprised. After that, OP makes a post about her job as a teacher and struggles with maternity leave. It can be found here Update 7 posted in r/BabyBumps on September 12, 2021 (4 months later) He's here I'm adopting my sister's son. He was born 8 days ago, but he's over 2 months premature. Closer to 3. The birth was meant to be natural but ended up a c section due to complications, but the c section was still routine with no issues. Doctor said it went as well as it could have overall. The doctor wanted to keep my son for a bit longer because he's just so early and they want to be positive it's safe before I take him home. However, because I can't begin the formal adoption for a few weeks still, and with the you know what restricting visitors, this means I can't even visit him. I would post a pic here but I don't even have a picture to show you. I've only seen him once, immediately after the birth. My sister is allowed to see him as the birth mother but she's only been once. I was meant to be able to take him home yesterday but they asked to keep him longer and run a few more tests. I'm either getting no information or incredibly limited info because despite being his mother and him coming to live with me once he's released, because it isn't on paper yet and I didn't birth him, they're not allowed to give me the same information that my sister is getting. I'm angry and frustrated and tired and anxious and while my partners are trying to calm me, it's not working. I just want him home safe. Relevant comment: He's about 10 weeks early. I thought a week was a short time but the nurse assured me I could take him home after that. Paperwork can start from when he's 6 weeks old but that isn't including the time it takes to be approved. The other legal aspects have been dealt with so it should be a fairly simple process but I still have to wait to file. After that post, OP leaves two comments on the previous BORU post providing more information: Hi! This is me. God, I go off reddit for a few days and go viral again LMFAO. You're right. I did, very briefly, try for poly with my friends I mentioned in the advice post, and it was fine for a while but ultimately, we just weren't clicking, not helped by me having the kids, and going through a lot of big changes in life, like starting a new job and adopting my nephew, a process which is still ongoing despite him being over a year old already. I ended up single for a while, and then met my current partner, which would have been about 7 months ago now, so yeah you are right on the money with this. • Hi, I'm the OP. To be clear, the AITA sister who shamed me for not appeasing my abuser is different to the one whose child I adopted. The one whose child I adopted is financially supporting our parents, you're right, and she's still doing that. However, I have reason to believe that her pregnancy was intentional. She's never explicitly said anything, but what she has said is that our parents wanted a grandchild, and she wanted them to have one, but once she actually got pregnant, I had the conversation with her about how abusive our parents were/are, and she then pushed for me to adopt the baby, a process she is still helping me with despite supporting our parents while she does it. It feels to me like she might have intentionally gotten pregnant to essentially be a surrogate for our parents, and then realised how phenomenally stupid that idea was once she was actually pregnant. At the end of the day, the method wasn't great, but I feel like she ultimately did the right thing, and I'm seeing a fair amount of shaming her in the comments here that I don't love tbh so thanks for sticking up for her. OP later makes a comment on another post about her ex boyfriend: My ex is a deadbeat who wants nothing to do with the kids because they had the audacity to be girls, and he's stealing photos either from me or just random photos off the internet and posting on facebook about 'his girls' and how much he loves them, how much he enjoyed taking them to the park or group, and is getting praise heaped on him when he's never even met them. The bar isn't even on the floor at this point, it's subterranean. OP also shares more information about her kids and her partners: I have 2 partners and 3 kids, which means that right now we're evenly matched. One adult per child. Feels pretty perfect, number-wise. The kids are also a bit of a handful, not in terms of behaviour but twin 4 year olds and a 3 year old who is turning 4 soon, they're perfect but it's a lot. There's also the factor that my partners and I can't have kids the old fashioned way, as I'm a woman, one of my partners is also a woman, and my other partner is a trans man, so it would require IVF or sperm donors or something of that sort. We might change our mind in a few years, but for now we're content to just love our kids as is. New Update posted to OP's profile on July 29, 2025 (almost 4 years later) Life update for anyone who is still here I lost the password to this account and didn't give an email, but I was scrolling while logged out earlier and there was one post that stoked such a rage in me I pulled out my old laptop which I haven't used in 2 years that had the password saved and got in solely to reply to that post, only for it to get locked as soon as I logged in. Then I saw that I have over 60 notifications, including one from reddit saying I have rewards expiring on 31/12/24 and need to use them before they expire. Oops. All the other messages are asking how I am, what I'm up to, how me and the kids are doing, all that sort of thing so this is just a very quick post on my profile for anyone who is still here lmao. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Would not have been able to say that a couple years ago but honestly am now. Kids are fine. The girls are 4 and starting school in September and I'm just about holding it together because it feels like yesterday that the midwife was comparing the sizes of the foetuses to various fruit and veg. Annoyingly, though, my son was born 4 days after the cut-off so he won't be starting school until next year, which he's really upset by as he wants to do what his sisters are doing. I think he'll prefer being a year behind in the long run, though, speaking as someone with several siblings who was always grateful for that extra space at school. Love life: Boyfriend is gone. Not the father but the guy I started seeing a bit after the kids were born, because he also turned out to be a scumbag. I took some time off dating, and have recently got back together with the two people I mentioned in a previous post, where I referred to them as "Lily and Caleb". We tried dating between the boyfriends, but broke it off initially because honestly I had a lot going on, my self esteem was not great, and I felt like I was using them, and since I've had some time to just be single and focus on me (and the kids, of course) I realised that I really am in love with them, and it appears that was mutual. We're coming up on our first anniversary. Kids are aware and very happy. Job: I've changed jobs once more since I last logged in. Been in the new job for about 18 months, going well, pays almost as well as stripping and it's hybrid so plenty of time at home with the kids. Baby daddy: not heard from him. Knew I wouldn't, to be fair. He's dodging child maintenance but I don't need it so not worth panicking about. Did try and put a legal case against him but it didn't go anywhere. Again, wasn't expecting it to, but both of these things are good to have on record in case he decides to be a problem again in future. I do know that he's gotten married recently, and I hope his wife has full command of their birth control. Family: again not heard from them. I do get some news from screenshots my friends send me, as a couple of relatives occasionally hop on facebook to moan about how I'm such an awful person for keeping the kids from them, but it's keeping them safe so I don't feel too bad about that. Flat: given my rapidly growing family, I was thinking about selling. I even put it on the market and there was an estate agent bringing people by while I looked at houses. I felt awful about it because I love this flat, and it's always been a symbol for me that I can achieve things I never thought I could, and of the houses I saw, not many ticked all of my boxes, so when the flat next door went on the market shortly after mine, I took it as a sign. I spoke with the owner and our shared estate agent and we agreed that I would take my flat off the market, buy theirs, and just convert it into one massive flat, which solved every problem I had and didn't hurt my property value, either. Did take a while to sort everything out but so happy I did it as my only issue with this flat was space, and that's sorted. Can't think of what else to add (except maybe that my hair is red now? IDK everything else is basically the same lmao) but happy to answer any questions if anyone is out there to ask them. Assuming that most of the people who followed me when I made that first post ~5 years ago are, like me, inactive, have forgotten their passwords, or have fully forgotten why they followed me in the first place, but if you do remember me then hi, thanks for all the well wishes and appropriately concerned messages, and I honestly just really appreciate the support. When I made this account I had no self esteem, was really low all the time, and was stuck in a controlling relationship that I didn't even realise was controlling. If it wasn't for the people here who told me to get out of there, I would probably still be in that relationship, without my beautiful family or my beautiful flat. submitted by /u/Shelly_895 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Lifelong Alaskan (26F) that moved to Massachusetts at the beginning of June. I’ve traveled throughout my life, but never lived outside of Alaska. I’ve lived in a small town in Alaska and the major city, Anchorage. I’m sure a lot of this is relative to where you live in MA (and obviously your own personal opinion), but here are a few things I’ve noticed thus far in no particular order: What the hell is a rotary? I’ve only ever referred to them prior as a roundabout. I have to pay to have my vehicle inspected…? The majority of vehicles in Alaska have clearly been in some type of wreck with visible damage - duck tape, garbage bags used as windows, side mirrors dangling by a thread, and bungee cords strapping down the trunk. Not to mention, washing your car is quite literally pointless because it will be dirty again the same day. Most cars in AK haven’t seen the inside of a car wash bay in months. Tolls/transponders are a foreign concept to me as well. State income tax. This one hurts. And just taxes in general here in MA. There is no sales tax in Anchorage. Traffic, abrupt exits, and a lack of merge lanes (and lanes in general). Generally, a much cleaner state! I really appreciate this one. I don’t see a lot of trash around. Relatively speaking, it’s a lot cleaner than Anchorage and it makes a big difference. Ahh, it’s so nice to go grocery shopping without having to go through gates, having armed officers check your receipt, or watching daily arrests in the parking lot. The cost of groceries and gas is cheaper here in MA as well (very exciting to actually purchase cherries for less than $20!!). MA feels sooo much safer! I feel like I can go for a walk without having to have a knife or taser on hand ready to go. The crime in Anchorage the last couple years seem to have realllly taken off. It wasn’t unusual for there to be a SWAT team present at least once a week, usually ending in a stand off shooting. I can buy lottery tickets! The coffee scene here in MA is seriously lacking. Alaska has countless locally owned coffee shops that operate out of a small trailer / tiny house. You can find one on every block just about!! And it’s not just the coffee…I miss the red bull specials and lotus energy drinks. DUNKIN is not it…. Pronunciation of certain words and the quintessential Boston accent. There is a lot more to do here! Endless and countless options for entertainment. You can actually use and enjoy the beaches here in MA (one of my favorite aspects so far!!). I grew up with stories of the deadly mudflats in Alaska (it’s a real thing). Overall, the lifestyle here is more leisurely, and I really appreciate it! Both MA and AK are beautiful and unique in their own way. submitted by /u/Infamous_Height8120 to r/massachusetts [link] [comments]

For context: Single income household with three little kids. The street I live on is like the house in Up, it's the only street that hasn't been upgraded or sold out and built on. We live in SWFL so we're in a tiny old house and we're surrounded by streets of million dollar houses. It's quite comical. I've dreamed of an emerald cut ring for the past 12 years. I was 19 when we originally got married and we had zero money and we've been working our butts off and finally bought a house but that's all the money we've ever had hahaha So basically what happened was a man on another street (whose house is currently for sale for $2.2 million dollars btw) had a ring for his fiancé custom made. He said that she "wanted something different" and so he is legit just going to buy her another one (people with money I just...I don't live that life haha!) The ring was my dream. Emerald cut diamond! And here's the kicker: it was in my exact ring size. 4.5! So I said to him "I have $400 cash in my sock drawer (I'd been saving up birthdays and Christmas money for 1 1/2 years) that I will go get right now and buy that ring from you." And he literally just said "ya sure. That's fine." OMG! I could have NEVER afforded anything like this ever! It's 1.62 carats color H and VS1 (I honestly don't even know what any of that means haha) but he gave me the certificate of the gem grade and authenticity and everything! I can't believe it! 😭 this is insane! Living next to millionaires has finally paid off! Hahahaha I'm sooo happy! submitted by /u/Lonely-ex-cult-girl to r/EngagementRings [link] [comments]

I bought this house in 2017. Was unaware there was a tiny little tract of land in front that was forfeited in 2009 because the road moved between the original plans and what was actually built. I’ve even looked at forfeited lands multiple times since then and it was never put up for auction or OTC sale that I saw. Anyways, the auction specifically states “for adjoining land owner only”. I called the county, they say I’m the only one who meets that criteria, but someone else bid on it. They won’t block that bid, even though the auction is “only available to adjoining land owners”. I’m going to move my trailer off that part of the property for now and ride this out. I was going to get into a bidding war, but I don’t see a point. I just went to check, there’s already another bid on this property. I don’t understand this. submitted by /u/1fuckedupveteran to r/mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ScaredyCat1122 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: 1 [New Update]: WIBTA for refusing to raise my husband's affair children now that he and the woman he cheated with passed away? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: infidelity, death of loved ones, emotional abuse and manipulation, bullying and religious coercion, entitlement, possible identity theft RECAP Original Post: August 24, 2024 Sorry for using a new account, I know that's a red flag, but I don't want to risk using my old reddit account. My (45F) husband (49M) of 23 years had an affair with a twenty-years old girl since 2020. I found out this year when his affair partner gave birth to twin boys in March. Obviously we were going to divorce. We've been hashing things out since, it's been a lengthy process due some properties in common and we needed to get an accountant since he used the shared account for his affair. Finally things seemed to be getting close to the end when both my husband and the woman he cheated with were killed in a car crash. By some miracle the twin babies were not harmed in the crash. Now they are orphaned and neither set of grandparents can take them in permanently. My husband's parents are both in assisted living, he has no siblings and the only aunt that could take them refuses. She's been childfree her whole life. On the woman's side, I'm not sure the details in full, but her parents are also not able to be involved long term and the one sister she has lives overseas. Since we were still married and he had not updated his will, all his assets are set to pass to me and our two children. I'm not callous enough to leave those babies with nothing, so I agreed to let whoever is their legal guardian to have the remaining balance in the shared account. About twenty-five thousands in savings. The issue is no one wants to take them in. Now my in-laws are pressuring me to take them in and raise them. The issue is, I don't want to. At all. I wouldn't love them and I don't want to be the evil stepmother. But I know a big part of me will always have a level of resentment towards them. I will probably favor my own children. It's not their fault, but I truly loved my husband and I thought we were happy before I found out about the affair. We have two daughters (14 and 16). Obviously we had disagreements, but never insulted each others before. Then I found out about the affair and he began calling me names and blaming me for his cheating. He became abusive and even tried to kick me of the house, my childhood home that is not shared property for the record. I'm also raising teenagers alone now. I don't have the energy to raise babies anymore. My daughters hate their baby brothers. I tried to get them to spend time with their dad as we were divorcing, but they refused. Since this all was found out because of the babies, there wasn't really a way to sugar coat the situation. And they are also too old to really get away with it. Most of my friends agree its not my place to care for those children, but my in-laws, the affair woman's parents and my mother want me to raise them. I know my mom is just having grandkids' fever, but it hurts to not have her support. I have to make a decision by next week or the boys will be going into foster care. At the moment they are temporarily placed with their maternal grandparents. I feel horrible, but I am very sure I can't take them in. WIBTA if I refused to take them in? Small update: Hey everyone, this blew up far more than I thought, and I appreciate the well wishes for my girls, the boys and myself. Also for the amount of lovely people offering to see about giving the twins a good home. I might not be their mother, but it does touch me and makes me glad there's good people out there. After thinking carefully and speaking to my lawyer, reading responses, doing research, etc. I plan to speak to the grandparents tomorrow and refuse to take legal guardianship of the boys. I will let them know of the usernames of people that offered meeting for private adoptions or fostering, but my daughters are my priority. It'll be up to the twins' grandparents to decide if they'll proceed with adoption, keep them, or turn them to the state. I wish I had the mental capacity to be the person to do this, but I have two girls that are going through a lot and they need my full attention. I'll also be talking to the lawyers to figure out if the boys have any inheritance claim properly. If they do, I'll separate it and leave it to the lawyers to do what they need to do for them to have access when its best. If they don't, I'll find a way to ensure they have access to the 25k I was going to give them since the beginning. I won't do more, however. My moral compass might be biased, but I don't believe I'm obligated neither morally nor legally to do more than what the word of law says. I can't help everyone and I shouldn't have to. I have two girls that lost their father, two girls that need therapy, two girls just about to get to college. They've gone through enough without seeing their mother favor the children of their father's mistress. Second Update: Hey everyone. So as I said two nights ago, I went yesterday to speak to the twin's grandparents. I explained my position and refused to take guardianship of the boys. My mother-in-law almost slapped me when I said that, but thankfully this was all done in a public place and my father-in-law stopped her. The maternal grandparents kept pleading for me to raise them since they didn't want to lose them. I kept saying no, and when they called me selfish, I lost it. I told them to their face the only selfish people in this mess were them and their son and daughter. Their son, my husband, for cheating and then making the divorce hell on me and my girls. Their daughter because she was a wh*re (I used another word) that went after a married man twice her age. I told them if I heard from them again, I would request a cease and desist. I also informed my parents-in-law that they won't have access to my daughters for the foreseeable future. I'll explain why in a bit. We were at a restaurant, but I didn't stay for the meal. I also sent an email to my lawyer so he can ensure CPS and any agency involved in the welfare of the twins is aware I'm not going to be their guardian or be involved. Then I sent an email to my in-laws with all the usernames and websites from people here in reddit that have offered to do interviews for the twins adoption. I won't be involved beyond this point, so please as lovely as it is, I can't help you if you are interest in the boys. Yesterday was the end of my involvement. As for why my in-laws won't see my girls, I spoke to my daughters and decided to find out more about their thoughts before I went to meet the grandparents. My youngest refused to speak to me, which I found very out of place for her. My eldest then ask for just the two of us to speak. That's when she explained that my in-laws had been going on about how the girls need to get ready to go to public school instead of their private school and to get jobs right out of high school since I will have to provide the twins with private schooling and college money. Apparently they also were told to start moving their stuff to share a room, my girls have separate rooms, since the twins need more space. This was not known to me. Mostly cause that would never happen. Apparently my in-laws have been basically bullying the girls because 'the babies take priority'. Yeah, that's not happening. I told the girls that their grandparents have no say in where they go to school, their college funds, or how the rooms are set in our house. Also that I do agree they could use a part-time job during college and maybe a scholarship, but their tuition will be paid. I told them not to blame the babies for the stupidity of the adults. They told me they understand, but they still don't want to interact with their brothers for now. That 'for now' part gives me hope they'll get through things. For now we're going to do some changes in the house. The girls and I both don't like there's still an office space that my husband used. We're going to make it into a gaming room for all of us. I plan to take down some pictures that have my husband in them and put them in albums for the girls. We just want to make the house more ours. As for people wondering why my girls wanted nothing to do with their father: My daughters were the ones that discovered the affair and told me when my husband took them to meet the twins at the hospital. He had asked them to keep it secret, but my girls told me. After that, my husband began treating them horribly too. He burnt all bridges with the girls. Very tiny update since there's some people who keep harassing me in PMs: I spoke to a lawyer on Monday. The boys have no inheritance claim until a DNA test is done. After that, their only claim is against my in-laws. The shared account is not considered my husband's individual property, so its mine. Same with the lake house. Since he had a PERSONAL savings account and a life insurance, which went to his parents, that will be the only thing the boys could claim. Obviously this can be changed if it goes to trial, but the lawyer told me with how little my husband left my girls and I, there's very little chance a judge will demand our assets. The lawyer also recommended me to completely end the idea of sharing any money with the boys. That could be used against me to claim I'm taking fiscal responsibility for them and should be considered to be their guardian. I'm dividing the money from the shared account for my daughter's college tuitions. I'm still unsure if I'll sell the lake house or not, but neither the girls nor I are attached to it. Now, please leave me alone about the boys' inheritance. Sad as it is, my husband messed everything up for his children. I'm not responsible for them nor do I have to sacrifice my assets to set them up for a better life. Another update: There's some good news and some annoying news. The good news is the boys were safely retrieved by CPS from their maternal grandparents and will be placed in foster care until a permanent arrangement is made. I found out when it happened since their grandparents, and my mother, came to scream at me at work. In all honesty, I'm glad this happened at work and not at home. It's made me consider moving, since I don't want my daughters exposed to any of this. An annoyance I had very soon after was getting a called about my 'inquiries into fostering and adopting'. Apparently my information was sent to CPS as someone interested in fostering the twins and eventually adopting. I immediately explained the situation between the grandparents and me, and the operator was speechless at first. She apologized for the situation and told me she would make sure I wasn't bothered about the process. I also got served this morning. My in-laws are suing for grandparents' rights. They are also suing for custody. Apparently they are planning to leave their assisted living, which they really shouldn't, to buy a house that allows kids to get the twins back and now also want custody of my daughters. My personal lawyer immediately gave me some instructions I won't share to safeguard myself and my daughters from some risks during a possible custody battle. My lawyer and I both suspect my in-laws want the girls to parentified them as caretakers for the twins since my in-laws have mobility limitations. It will be a cold day in hell before that happens. I don't see CPS placing the boys with them to begin with. Not all is bad news. I'm starting therapy next week and my eldest daughter is once again speaking about the colleges she wants to go to. We still haven't really talk about their father or have them agree to visit his grave, I myself haven't gone there and I'm trying really hard to get used to not calling him 'my husband' anymore. I had nothing to do with the funeral plans aside paying bills and from what I heard his parents had the epitaph: "Devouted and beloved husband, father, and son" written on it. I find it a joke. I know its bad to hold to so much anger and resent, but as soon as I have time, I plan to change his tombstone to remove 'husband and father'. It might sound petty, but I refuse to speak well of a cheater and abuser just because he's dead. My daugters deserved better, and so did I. And for anyone complaining about me changing the tombstone, I paid for everything at the end. So, stick your complains you know where. I don't think I'll post another update until the whole mess with the grandparents' right lawsuit is resolved. So to the kind people that have send support to me and my daughters, thank you so much. Maybe I'll have good news in the future, but for now I'm going back to my old reddit account. Small disclaimer: To the person that PM that I will regret not adopting the twins, I don't regret it one bit. Please either post a public message or leave me alone. I don't deal with cowards that use PMs to avoid being judged. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments Can OOP take the twins in temporarily? Or until at least a family member can step in OOP: I don't want to take them even temporarily. I'm 45. I'm tired. I work full time. I don't have time for babies. I don't even have a babysitter anymore. My girls are old enough to be home alone after school until I finish work. I can't do that with babies and I can't ask them to babysit them. They have after school clubs and like to go out with friends. I don't want them raising babies. + I can't take them. I can't even pick them up. They are innocent, but I can't do it. If it was reversed, my daughters would go to my cousin then. That has always been the back up plan that we had in place if my husband and I both died. I'm sorry the twins don't have that, but the more I read on this, the more I've realized I can't take those babies. OOP on encouraging her daughters to have a sibling relationship with their half-brothers OOP: I've tried, but they are teenagers who understand what cheating is. I won't force them to have a relationship with the babies if they don't want it. Therapy for OOP’s daughters regarding the affair and aftermath OOP: I have my girls with a therapist, and this was brought up. The girls despise the babies. It's not the babies' fault, I know. But the girls are angry and they are pointing fingers. I don't want to put more stress on them. OOP on the inheritance left for the family members from her husband’s will. Anything for the twin boys? OOP: The properties in the will where left on my name. The only shared property is a lake house that is currently on sale. If the will is contested, I will happily divide it. As it stands right now, I don't have to give anything. And no, it wasn't 50/50. He cheated and the divorce left me with a majority of asset per our pre-nup. + That's the half of what he owned. The family home was mine before the marriage. The cars are getting sold and put for my daughters' college per his will. The 25k and half of that lake house was his assets. His personal bank account balance went to his parents, per his will. + There's no assets for them based on the will. The only asset they would get is what I offered to give them, the 25k, and they could contest part ownership of a lake house. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go beyond that. I was the higher income in my marriage and in the divorce I was getting most of the assets. My daughters are about to head to college. I feel for them, but I won't have my daughters' quality of life suffer. Also bold of you to assume my daughters are expected to love them out the bat. They are going to therapy and its up to them if they one day want to be in their half-brother's life or not. I won't pressure them. I hope they learn not to hate them and at least see them as innocent in all of this, but they won't be forced to see them as family. + I'm following the instruction strictly as the lawyers, my divorce lawyer and the lawyer in charge of the will give. I won't do anything beyond the word of law as I'm advice by councel. Also irrelevant if I deserved a loyal husband. My daughters deserved a better father. The twins will get only what the law dictates.   Update #1: October 17, 2024 (1.5 months later) Hey everyone, some people have been asking me for updates, and to be sincere, I had nothing until today. To start things, cousins from my ex-husband's side of the family took the boys in. I know them, they are lovely and I know they'll give the twins a great life. The new parents (calling them Matt and Kim) talked to my daughters and let them know if they ever want to reach out to their half-brothers, they just have to call. Otherwise, they can just see them as distant cousins. My girls thanked them, but insisted they don't really want a sibling relationship at this time, but that maybe as cousins it will be okay. I did offer them the money from the shared account since they are family and they said not to worry since they don't need it. Kim even insisted I used that money for a vacation for my girls and I. Apparently I look like the living dead. They also set very strict lines with my in-laws and the parents of my ex's affair partner. They can see the boys, but they won't be seen as grandparents. This apparently caused a big fight with the AP's parents. Matt and Kim then cut them off. Again, threats of 'suing for grandparent's rights' were thrown around, but it went nowhere. That's how I found out why the AP's parents couldn't take the boys permanently. The father is a convicted felon in an abuse case. I won't share the details out of respect, but if what Matt and Kim told me is true, I am glad the boys won't grow up with that man as an example. The only reason his wife had temp guardianship was because of the sudden death of the parents and the process to find a relative to raise the boys. She would have had to live away from her husband to allow permanent custody, and she wasn't willing to do so. My ex-in laws did figure threats were not going to work, so they agree to be 'great-uncles' instead. Good for them, I guess. They now want me to let them live with me and the girls since they left assisted living recently and now the place they were in doesn't have opening. This place has a long waitlist and the only reason they got in originally was because my ex and I offered to pay 5 years in full. They still had 2 full years paid left and I was going to pay for them. After everything they put my daughters and me through, I rather burn money in a grill than spend it on them. I know they want my girls and I to be their caretakers. I won't even consider it. My daughters have their of paths to follow and in all honesty, I want to consider meeting someone new. I know it sounds like I'm moving on too quick, but I've been working to move on since I found out about the affair. I don't think my ex deserves me to go through a 'mourning period'. I already mourned our relationship. At least that's what my eldest daughter said, funny enough. She's been encouraging me to go out and meet someone. We still have that custody lawsuit from my ex-inlaws going and a few other issues that I will update when I have more, but I wanted to at least let everyone know the boys are safe and together. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: You and your daughters sound actually really well-adjusted. I'm glad the boys landed in a safe place and can still have some sort of friendly family relationship with their half-sisters. I think this is beyond my best expectations for this event, and I am happy for everyone. Especially for the soon-to-be-homeless/not in as nice a home ones :D OOP: They should be well enough monetarily to afford a new place, so they'll be fine. They might be horrid, but if they were to go homeless, I would put the money to at least get them a relatively comfortable facility. It's really up to them what they do now, though. Commenter 2: So how come your ex- in laws left their prepaid accommodation? Did you get the 2 years of unused rent back? That's a lot of money. OOP: Nope. They signed off on the money since they were in a hurry to do their whole custody plan. I'm talking with a lawyer to see if we can recoup the money, but very unlikely since the breach was done by my in-laws. And yeah, about 180k. + Oh, I absolutely agree. My ex-FIL is pretty much blind and has a bad knee. He can barely move. My ex-MIL has back issues. Both of them are also diabetic and have other issues that in all honesty makes it impossible for them to live alone. Wherever they go, a caretaker is a must. It's why my ex and I looked for a good facility. + If they had not received my ex's personal savings and life insurance, I would feel obligated. But they received a lot of money from him. Enough to live comfortable if they don't squander it. Now, if they do squander it, its on them. Again the hypothetical scenario would be if they were without means from the get go.   ----NEW UPDATES---- Editor's note: OOP made 2nd update that is under 1st update in the same post Update #2: November 17, 2024 (one month later) Update: So, we had mediation this week for the grandparents' right lawsuit. This is just to avoid taking space on a judge's already heavily stressed docket, though I knew it would go nowhere. My ex-inlaws demands were for the girls to either be in their custody or spend weekdays with them and weekends with me. Even the court appointed mediator told them they were not being realistic with their expectations. My lawyer and I only had one offer and were not willing to negotiate: they will see my daughters only if they want and when they want. Mediator also thought we were being unfair. That's when a detail came out. My ex-inlaws had claimed my daughters are 6 and 4 (a whole decade younger than they really are) to the mediator. I provided him wiht birth certificates, as well as show him a picture of the girls. Mediator shook his head and said he couldn't help in this case. My daughters are too old for grandparents' rights to even be considered. He will send a recommendation for the grandparents' right lawsuit to be dropped, but the custody one will still be going since neither my ex-inlaws nor I agree on custody. I refuse to give them any single bit of legal control of my daughters. They are now also demanding I make them their legal guardian if I happened to pass away. Nope. On some strange news, I met the sister of my ex's affair partner. She brought some items to my house that she knew had to be stolen from me. These are things that were supposed to be in storage. My wedding dress, an old jewelry box that had a picture of my grandparents, some of my coats that are a bit pricey, shoes, and what creeped me out the most copies of my personal documents (passport, IDs, etc). The sister told me she was cleaning up their place when she found my property and used the address shown in them. She was rather nice and apologized for her parents and sister. I did ask her why she refused to take the twins, and she told me that she did because she was tired of being the emergency plan for her family. She didn't say more and I didn't think it was right to ask her. She knew they were my items because apparently the affair partner had bragged about my ex-husband giving her these items, except for the documents. She has no idea what's going on with that, but she didn't want anything to do with identity theft. She did bring some things that weren't mine and I let her know, so I only kept my property. I told my lawyer about the IDs issue and he helped me get my credit frozen. I'll be getting new IDs and passports. We did report the possible identity theft to the police so we had the report in case my personal information was used for something illegal or to put me in any trouble. I didn't know one could make a report on a dead person, but apparently this happens more often than I imagined. And no, this won't turn into a posthumously conviction. It's just paperwork to protect myself. And a last funny note, I am planning to burn that wedding dress and make smores over the fire. Petty? Yep.   My ex-MIL sent her Church friends to harass my daughters and I. I have now exposed her family to her church community and she's getting shamed and shunned at Church.: March 16, 2025 (four months later) My (46F) daughters (17 and 15) have a strained relationship with my ex-husband's parents (78M and 80F). My ex passed away in an accident last year and we've had some major family drama since due his cheating and him leaving two boys born with his affair partner orphaned. She also died. Part of the drama has been my ex-inlaws trying to get custody of my daughters and them also trying to live with us. First one we're going to court over, second one will never happen. Where we live there's a weekend market with fresh produce, eggs, meats, and other products straight from farmers. This week was extra special since it was my youngest' birthday. Since her party is later in the month, I decided to give her a budget and set her loose on the market to get whatever she wanted. Mostly chocolate and sweets. After an hour, I did start getting worried, and just before I called her, she called me. She was crying, saying some weird people have cornered her. I ran to her with my oldest daughter to find six older women berating my daughter for being 'unChristian' for refusing to spend time with her paternal Grandparents or for wanting to be 'a good big sister to her poor orphaned baby brothers'. My daughters are the ones that found out about my ex cheating and the babies, so they aren't fond of the kids. It's trauma and they are working with a therapist. I got between the group and my daughter, telling my eldest to go pay the stuff her sister had and to go to the car. Then I turned to the women, some who I knew from when we went to my ex-inlaws' church, and rip them a new one. They told me I was worst for refusing to obey my ex-inlaws 'like a good Christian wife'. Barf. Eventually the screaming turn too loud and we were all asked to leave the market. I met with my girls in the car, the women following me like a group of vultures. I managed to get in the car and drove away. After my girls went to bed, I got online to talk to another member of that church that I'm in good terms. I told him about what happened and after he apologized, he told me what was going on. My ex-mother-in-law posted this massive story in the church's facebook group about how horrible my daughters and I are, how we are leaving them homeless and penniless (they inherited my ex' personal bank account and his life insurance), and how my daughters don't even talk to them. She also accused us of being the reasons she lost her grandsons. The boys are now living with distant relatives of my ex-husband. Basically, it was a sob story worthy of a Hallmark movie. And of course, they were getting all the love and support from the more extremist members of their church. This church and its members are a bit annoying especially with LGBTQ+ topics, but they have a small saving grace. They are incredibly strict about cheating. It's a big no-no, be it from a husband or a wife equally. Now, how did she get around blaming me about affair children without exposing the cheating? She claimed the other woman was our surrogate since I was unable to have more children. Then said I didn't want the babies because they were boys. Which is absolutely disgusting to be accused of. Well, I decided it was time to clean up this mess and since I was mid-divorce when my ex died, I had all the evidence needed. And since the divorce wasn't completed, I don't have any legal ramification for releasing all the evidence. I was off the next day and went to a print shop to get copies of all the delightful pictures of my ex cheating, his text conversations with his affair partner, the ones with his parents confessing to his cheating and getting support from them, my ex-inlaws harassing me about the divorce, and my coup-de-grace: all the emails and text messages of them bullying my daughters about their baby brothers. In one of them they call my daughters 'bastards' and telling them it was their fault their father died since they told me about the affair and I began the divorce. This one was literally two days after my ex died. I paid extra for all of this to be printed in beautiful high quality paper. Then when I got home, I sat down for hours to make delightfully personalized binders. They look like the little prayer song packets the church give for everyone to take to sing hymns. The first picture when opening the binders is my ex and his side woman making out in our living room. Their faces are easy to discern and the girl looks nothing like me. Different skin tones and hair color. Underneath I wrote: 'Ex-husband's name' and 'Affair girl's name' love story. I took them to the church before service. There's a desk in the back with the song books for people that need/forget their own, and they never check them. The gossip mill was quick and harsh. The names my ex and his affair partner got called in the facebook were so bad the pastor himself had to get involved just to keep things relatively PG-13. People were angry at my ex-inlaws for their abused to my daughters, but what made me laugh was that I was still in the wrong for the divorce, but 'it is understandable that I failed on my duties after the shock and I possibly will one day return to the light, unlike my cheating husband and his Jezebel'. They used another word I can't use here, I imagine. I got two apology letters in the mail for my girl and an invitation to join the church for 'support'. As for my ex-inlaws? They got shamed into leaving the church. My ex-mother-in-law made a post on her wall about how alienated she feels and how no one cares for the elderly anymore. How she wished her 'great son' was still alive since he would have taken care of her and her husband. With what money, I don't know, since I was the bread winner. Explanation on the will: My ex-husband had a will that named his parents as beneficiaries. As far as I was aware, he had told me he had named our daughters, not them. I never pushed for ME to be the beneficiary as my own will has my daughters as the beneficiaries, not him. Relevant Comments OOP clarifies the details on who actually got the life insurance and bank account due to her husband's will OOP: No, the parents did. My daughters only got the value of two used luxury cars he owned after they sold. + We both did our will some years ago and he listed them [the parents] as beneficiaries. + They were the beneficiaries in his will. If he had died without a will, then yes, automatically I would get majority of assets. With a will, it gets complicated. I could in theory contest the will. I just don't think the fight is worth the effort. Commenter 1: Still married but the parents end up with the life insurance and husband's bank account? How'd that happen? OOP: His will. I could go to court over it, but its not worth it. Commenter 2: I sooo think it’s worth it… OOP: I am making more than he did and my daughters and I live in relative luxury. Contesting the will is a headache and half, plus it would just add more animosity. If I was pressed for money, sure, but at this point, I see it as an investment in cutting ties. OOP explains what she was told by her ex about the beneficiaries OOP: Well, my ex told me the girls were the beneficiaries. I did similar with my will leaving majority to my daughters, all my personal savings, bonds and life insurance, with him receiving my house (mine before marriage) and joint property. He lied, but I have learned that is the norm. + It's a blessing in disguise. I could contest it for sure, but that's just a headache. And since there are two other children involved, contesting the will requires a ton of paperwork to divide what was my property, what was his, and what was joint. The latter two would have to be divided and its just a headache. OOP should move away and have a fresh start for herself and her daughters OOP: Oh, we're on the process. There's a lot of toxic stuff happening here involving my ex's family and my family. What will happen to the twin boys? OOP: The boys are with relatives that want to adopt them. I'm not sure how that is going on, but I wish them all the best. My daughters and I are moving hopefully next year after my eldest graduates. OOP should make sure, in case if she passes, the custody of her daughters should NOT go to the in-laws OOP: Oh that's been arranged for years. Neither my mother, who is a criminal nutcase, nor my ex's parents will ever get a chance to take my girls if I die. + We thankfully have sane extended family. My siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, and amusingly my ex-husband's aunts and cousins, have been a great support to the three of us.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. This is more complicated because the OOP has had at least three accounts: originally u/throwRA_rorotheMIL. She then created a second account: u/Throwawaydisownedson. Most recently u/MourningMother2024. She posted in r/relationship_advice, r/AmItheAsshole and r/legaladvice. And her own page. Previous BORU here and original here. I had to take some of the comments out to fit the word count. Thanks to u/QueenieMcGee and u/SaintGodfather for the rec. To Clarify: While it is not 100% confirmed that the latest post is from the same poster, the locations are the same, writing style is the same, OOP showed up in the Am I The Devil Comments on multiple crossposts and, most damningly, the same typo for "would" (as woukd) occurs in every post. Enough people dm'ed me and enough people made the connection on the posts that I decided to make a new update. This is a LONG post Trigger Warning: pre-eclampsia, threatening suicide, psychiatric facility; TBI; death; parental death Mood Spoiler: sad and maddening New Update marked with *****\* Original Post: March 9, 2023 Title: My (F 50) Daughter in law (24F) gave birth and doesn't seem to want a relationship with me, making it difficult to have a relationship with my son (31M) and new granddaughter Hello Reddit, TLDR: I'm looking for advice on how to build a relationship with my daughter in law, and get over the rift she's causing since giving birth. My son (David, 31) has been married to my daughter in law (Bea, 24?) since September of 2020. Due to the pandemic I never really got to know her because they only dated for about a year before they got married, and I didn't know about her until they had dated for about 6 months. I love my son very much, but I feel like our relationship has been rocky since they git married. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10, and since they got together I haven't had the same relationship with her. I know this is partially because he moved out of my house (very suddenly without really saying anything I may add), and I no longer get her on his weekends. I try to get them to bring her to visit when they have her, but usually I only see her once a month or so, and lately it has felt like she has been more distant when she visits. I think this is because Bea says negative things about me around her, and I find that unfair. They just had a baby at the end of January. She was induced due to pre eclampsia and in labor for 3 days before having a c section. I had been in an accident a few weeks prior and don't have a vehicle, and my son refused to pick me up to be there for the labor at all or to see the baby in the hospital, but her parents got to see the baby and were in the parking lot the entire time. I called him while she was in labor a few times, but on the second day after her water broke I called him and heard her snap at him to get off the phone and he refused to accept any calls after that. I just wanted to know thst the three of them were okay though! She was in the hospital 2 days after the c section, and they wouldn't stop to visit me on their way home after the birth because she was hurting, even though she had pain killers she could have taken and she "didn't feel right" according to my son. This is when I became concerned she had PPD. My daughter ended up picking up her prescriptions and some groceries for them and got to see the baby that night (her and Bea have a relationship that is apparently pretty good). I was supposed to visit a couple days after they got home, but she ended up insisting something was wrong and went back to the doctor who apparently sent her to the hospital. My son told me they diagnosed her with post partum preeclampsia, but I was pretty certain that that was only something that happened during pregnancy and went away after birth so I was pretty sure he was confused. The day after they admitted her again, 5 days after the baby being born with everyone meeting her but me, was my birthday. I called her around 8 that morning to see what was really going on but she didn't answer. A while later my son called me and wished me a happy birthday and asked why I had called Bea. I admit I snapped at him and said SHE should be returning my call, because I called HER. I hung up on him and maybe 5 minutes later she called me. I told her she should have called me and that I wanted to hear her voice and hear from her what was going on since my son gets confused. I then asked her if this was a mental or physical issue, and she went silent before saying physical. I asked of she was sure, and she got kind of snippy and said they had padding on her bed because she was a seizure risk and she couldn't be alone with her newborn, so she was pretty sure. I didn't comment on her tone because I was sure she was stressed. She was released her the next day, and they came and visited me while I was at my daughters watching her two kids on their way home so I could see the baby. I offered her some pillows to sit on (my son said she "basically gave birth both ways", even though I knew this wasn't true I wondered if she had some soreness that made him think this), and she refused my hospitality saying she was fine and felt pretty good. Two weeks later my son picked me up and brought me to their home to visit. I stayed for a few hours, and she didn't really make any effort to talk to me. She was just quiet and sat on the couch. When my son took me home I asked why she was so unhospitable, and he said I had been rude while she was in the hospital. That she shouldn't have had to call me, and that I shouldn't have asked if it was a mental or physical problem because he had already told me it was physical. He also said I shouldn't have posted anything on Facebook before her about the baby being born, and that I was rude when he called to make me take it down. She doesn't post on social media very often so I didn't think it would be a big deal. He hasn't picked me up to see the baby because he says he needs to be there to help with the baby, and they won't bring the baby to me because he says the baby isn't allowed in my house. I told my son I'm planning to quit my job to babysit for them, but I haven't even gotten her return to work date and she hasn't once thanked me for doing it. Overall I feel like she's holding onto some very petty things and is using them to keep me from my son and granddaughters. I want a relationship with her, but I am missing some critical bonding time with the baby and I am going to struggle to forgive her for it. Especially over petty nonsense she won't even bring up to talk to me. I'm really wanting to send a text and lay all my feelings out for her and just hash it out, but I understand there are probably cultural differences at play with all of this too, so I could use some advice on what to say. Relevant Comment: Commenter: Lady, if you don't pull your head out of your ass, you're not going to be part of their lives at all. You're not owed nearly any of what you seem to think you are. When it comes to their baby, they don't owe you crap. Your son had two priorities when his wife was in labor. His wife and their baby. Not you. He didn't have time to come pick you up or talk to you on the phone. Have you ever heard of a taxi cab? She shouldn't have to take a pain pill just so they can stop by and see you on their way home. How incredibly selfish of you. They did the right thing and went straight home. Are you seriously questioning a doctor's diagnosis? Do you really think it's appropriate to ask her if it's physical or mental? Are you mental? You're lucky anyone called you back at all. They are tired and are learning how to care for their newborn and that is after your DIL had a complicated labor and delivery and complications after birth. No one has the emotional bandwidth to deal with your entitlement. You inconvenienced your son and had him pick you up and drive you home. Again, taxi, Uber, Lyft were better options. Then you're complaining his wife, who is exhausted and still healing was inhospitable. I'm guessing she was saying plenty to you in her head but was to polite to actually verbalize it. Do they even want you babysitting their baby? Did they actually ask this of you or did you just decree that this is what is happening? You do not post baby news on Facebook without the parents permission. You were rude and overstepping. If you want to send them a text, send them a sincere apology for being a pushy, entitled, pain in the ass and promise you'll behave better in the future. OOP: I'm a grandparent and do deserve to be in my grandchildrens life. I also deserve not to have my eldest granddaughter turned against me. Saying they owe me nothing is incorrect, and courts would agree with that. I love them both so I don't want it to come to that, but I am OWED that. If he would have came the first night before she was in real labor he wouldn't have needed to talk to me. We don't have taxi cabs, and the uber would have been well put of my budget. She refused to take any of the pain killers once discharged, period. That was selfish of her. And I had food for them too, so my son wouldn't have had to cook. It wasn't just for me to see the baby. No, I was question if my son had the right information. He's relayed wrong things before. I understand that from her perspective after reading some of the comments. However in my family it's just common to call back regardless especially after having a baby. I see it's a cultural difference. I can't uber to where they live otherwise I would be there every day! If that was an option I woukd have definitely jumped on it instead of having him pick me up, but uber isn't I their tiny town. I told my son after I heard Bea telling my daughter about her struggle to find reputable daycare without a year long wait and how she was scared for the safety of her baby. They won't have to worry if I watch her! My son just said not to post pictures. I didn't realize announcing I was a grandma again woukd be a big deal. I deleted it. I told my son I was sorry for hurting her feelings when he told me. I've always apologized to him when he's told me I've done something wrong in her eyes, whether I think it was wrong or not. I don't want to hurt her feelings ever. I want her to know she doesn't have to run to my son though, she can come to me. And I want a chance to explain myself to her. Post in Legal Advice: March 24, 2023 (2 weeks later) (post is deleted) I'm seeking advice on getting grandparent rights in Indiana. My son has two daughters with two different women. The oldest is 10, and he and her mother were never married (no custody agreement, they just have an informal agreement). The youngest is almost 2 months old, and he and her mother are married. I was under the impression that any grandparent could petition for custody/visitation in the US, but the way I'm reading it I can't unless my son is incarcerated or they aren't married? Is this correct? What do I need to do to seek joint custody of my granddaughters? What do I need to build a solid case? I've already tried resolving this without going this drastic, but his wife doesn't want to work with me. Commenters point out that she does not qualify for grandparent's rights in this scenario- she saw them at Christmas and they have to able parents: OOP: I was under the impression that grandparents rights were for when a parent is keeping a child from having a relationship with the grandparents? Visitation would be more then once every 3 months or once a month wouldn't it? I don't feel like there is much of a relationship left with any of them to torpedo. So if I sacrifice a relationship with them to have a relationship with my granddaughters that would be fine."People draw attention to her previous post and that she's angry her son moved out: I CAN'T travel to them currently - if I could I would be over there as often as I could be. I have apologized even though I don't think I was wrong. If she felt slighted by anything I said I apologized for it. Really, though, I don't think it should matter. You don't use kids as pawns. I can have a relationship with my granddaughters without her - or I should be able to. That's what I thought grandparents rights were for. To make sure parents couldn't stop an essential relationship with grandparents without a damn good reason (like abuse, drug use, etc). Also. He didn't need my permission to move. I just didn't appreciate that he gave no indication he was leaving. OOP: I have apologized for everything she felt I did wrong, against my better judgement. I don't feel like I shoukd have to continue to beg. My son says shes not preventing me from seeing them and appreciates my apologies, but I still haven't seen my grandchildren. Update Post: March 30, 2023 (3 weeks from OG post) Well, I apologized to my daughter in law for all the things my son listed. Since I had received feedback about it being my son's job to "handle" his family I told him my apologies to pass along, and then I waited. However, I got no response from Bea. No thank you, no trying to bury the hatchet, nothing. So, last Friday I made an appointment with an attorney to discuss grandparents rights and had that appointment on Tuesday. The lawyer told me I had a good chance with my older granddaughter, but would likely get no where with the baby. I filled out some paperwork to get the process started, but Tuesday night I was questioning if I was doing the right thing. I called one of my friends to discuss, and was seriously considering not moving forward with it after talking to her. Then yesterday I received this message from Bea: "[Me] this is [Bea] I just wanted to let you know that [friend] told us you're intending to go for grandparent rights, and also shared everything you've had to say about me. Let me first say that I have not once kept the either of the girls from you, and I certainly have not kept [son] from you. He is a grown ass man, and if he wanted to talk to you he was free to. You have not asked to come over and visit since [son] picked you up - you cannot expect us to 1- read your mind or 2 - drop everything and come pick you up. We have a new baby, and we have our own lives. I also have not said a word to you about what happened during delivery/postpartum, because I have no energy to argue with you. [Son] said you apologized, and I told him I appreciated it (even though it was NOT a real apology. You apologize for what you did to hurt my feelings, not that my feelings were hurt). I don't have time for your drama. For the record, though, what you said was absolutely disgusting. I almost died - it had nothing to do with my mental health. Since you have decided to go for grandparents rights, we will have no direct contact with you. All contact will need to go through our lawyer. You have been removed from my Facebook. You are not permitted to post any pictures you have been sent of my child on social media, and [older granddaughters mom] feels the same way regarding [older granddaughter]. We intend to have something written up by our and sent to you by the end of the week regarding this, and ceasing contact with us. I assume we will be servered with your visitation paperwork this week as well. You will get no pictures or phone calls going forward. In fact, you will be blocked. I also hope you realize you will absolutely lose this case. Your house is not suitable to live in, and you would have to be able to pass a drug test. When you lose, we will not resume contact with you. You lost your chance at being apart of our kids lives by deciding to go to the most nuclear option instead of just communicating with us." I tried to respond to her and tell her that I didn't want to go through with it anymore and I reacted pit of anger, but she wouldn't answer texts or calls - so I assume I really am blocked. I called my son to tell him about the text she sent, and he said he knew about it and it was a lot nicer then what he wanted to send me. So, that's where I'm at at this point. I'm going to show my lawyer the text so that it can show how unwilling to forgive and to work with me she is, and hopefully it will resolve quickly so I can at least get visitation rights with my oldest granddaughter. Edit to add: I dont appreciate the nasty messages I have received or the barrage of nasty comments. I admit I made a mistake, but now this is my only option. It's clear that most of the responses from reddit are from those of young people not from my generation, as I have gotten different responses in other online support groups from people my own age who are also grandparents, many from my own culture. Some Comments: Drug test? "She says that I would have to pass a drug test. I use medical marijuana to help with a chronic illness, but it is still illegal where I live." "I am quitting entirely since this is a possibility [getting in trouble]."Why tf is your daughter a better mother?"Because they need to have better cultural examples. For instance, the oldest mother is also not from our culture/race, and her hair is very different from her daughters. She has no idea how to take care of her hair! It's always a mess. My daughter in law has taken some initiative in doing and styling her hair, but she's still not great at it. The girls need someone who can teach them how to handle basic things like taking care of their skin and hair. Oldest hair has been something I have encouraged them to let me handle long before daughter in law came into the picture. Not taking care of a child's hair is a form of neglect. My daughter knows how to do those things because her hair and skin are much closer to theirs and she can handle it with her own children."One last gem: I dont feel I deserve to be treated better, but equal. We are both equally important in my son's life. She is obviously more important in her daughters life right now, but without me that baby wouldn't be here. I would drop the grandparents rights case if I wasn't cut off - I reacted out of anger and desperation, but now it's the only option since I'm cut off." A few people pointed out there is a post that seems like it is from the daughter's perspective on , but OOP of that post has requested it not be re-shared. It has also been deleted. However, some highlights include: MIL threatens suicide because "they turned the whole family against her and won't let her see her granddaughters." Is placed in psychiatric care for 72 hours and released. MIL called CPS and said they were starving and neglecting their infant. CPS had to show up. MIL also says OOP is holding her husband hostage and police show up Thankfully the police and CPS see there is nothing wrong and all charges are dropped OOP states she and husband are going to try to move Second Account Post: May 22, 2023 (2.5 months from OG Post) Title: AITA for removing my son from my will after our relationship ended? I really don’t think I’m wrong, but I just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. I (F 50s) have a son (David, 30s) who is married to Bea, 20’s. They have a daughter who is 4 months old, and my son has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10. Bea & I had a falling out after their baby was born, and my son and granddaughters got caught in the crossfire. The falling out happened in March, and I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way. It would be too long to go over the history, but at the most extreme point I did consult a lawyer for grandparent rights. During this time, my son had no contact with me, but when I dropped the grandparents rights case I asked for things to go back to normal. My son expressed that he wanted things to go back to normal, but that a lot of damage had been done and he really didn’t know if we could go back to normal. For Mother's Day, my daughter decided to take me out to dinner, and she begged David to go and bring the baby (oldest was with mom). David eventually did agree on the condition it wasn’t on mothers day, and He, the baby, and Bea came. Bea was quiet most of dinner, but did talk to my daughter a few times – I guess they have a pretty good relationship. Bea held the baby the entire time, and wouldn’t let me hold or take pictures (part of the falling out was over pictures and Facebook, so I found this to be petty). Overall, I would have called dinner a success. At the end I hugged my son and told him I was proud of him for putting his foot down and coming to dinner with his daughter, and that I hoped he could continue to do that. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. My son called me later that night and told me that he couldn’t continue to have a relationship with me. He said that Bea was their child's mother, and he wouldn’t ever bring the baby anywhere without her blessing. I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping, and I admit I lost it a little bit on the phone call and told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife, and that he should have come to see me on mothers day because I am his mother. He ended up hanging up on me. I called the next day and profusely apologized to him. I know it was wrong of me to have said what I did, and I told him I want a relationship with him. He told me he couldn’t do this with me anymore. I have been heartbroken ever since, but I understand I guess. I called him last night and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him or his wife anymore ever, and that I respected that we wouldn’t have a relationship. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways. He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative. I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants." Relevant Comments: [editor's note: People figure out pretty quickly that she is the same woman as the other posts. The scenarios, ages and the way she often spells would with a "k" as a mistype. That and her overall tone.] You need therapy: "I have been in therapy to help deal with this trauma. I've been told that I need to respect his boundaries so this feels like I am. Why would i want someone who doesn't care about me making medical decisions for me? He's also expressed I'm a hoarder and I don't have money so I don't know why he would want to be bothered with stuff in a will." Someone links the DIL's post (again, OOP of that requested that it not be re-shared so I will not be posting it here) and asks if she really threatened to commit suicide if she didn't see the baby: "No, I said I wanted to kill myself because I felt like I had no one. While I was on a hold for 72 hours and received treatment I got set up with my therapist to help deal with some of the trauma both from what's happening now and past issues." "I had a psychotic break. This is one of the actions I truly regret." Update Post to AITA: May 24, 2023 AITA woukdnt let me post an update due my post being "violent" so here we are. after someone posted a link to what i believe is my daughter-in-laws reddit posts and i read some of the verbal beatings i got i did some more reflection. i feel like her perspective of events really helped shift my view. i do want to point out there are several people who told me i was not wrong and that this younger generation has a poor view of family values. i really believe i was judged so harshly because there are so few parents\grandparents on reddit. i went to my son and dils house but it was mostly empty. i was afraid of this after reading her post and some of the comments. i found the listing and its been posted for almost a week and is currently pending but i cant find where they moved to and all the photos are of the house mostly empty. i suspect they bought it under an llc so i am currently trying to figure out how to find out the name of the llc and then find the house. i talked to one of their neighbors and they said they moved most of their stuff out around the beginning of may so my son kept this from me for quite a while and didnt even bother to mention it at dinner. i had a meeting with my therapist to help me through this but im still a wreck. my son has just disappeared. i know everyone here is looking through my small 3000 character limited posts and my dils long gripes about me but my son woukdnt do this on his own. his wife is absolutely manipulative but it doesnt change the fact i handled this all wrong and drove him further away. if i woukd have just sought out a relationship with my son ang granddaughters without b i dont think i woukd be here. i should have just played nice. one commentor said it when they asked me “do you want to be right or do you want to have a relationship with your son and granddaughter?” and i choose wrong. my therapist told me to give myself some healing time before pursuing anything but for now my plan is to just save some money and hire a private investigator to find my son and then rebuild my relationship and his trust so we can work to get him out from under her. again i recognize i was wrong in some of this. i recognize i was overly demanding and critical – i was wrong in some of this. but i didnt deserve this. people who use kids and grandkids as pawns are evil. i will probably continue to seek advice but it certainly wont be from this account. and to whoever linked my other posts from my other account and told my dil about this screw you. Comment from OOP after crossposted to "screw everyone here. i am far from being a devil. i am not evil. the person who is evil is the one who took my family completely away from me. my dil has completely manipulated my son. ill admit i was far from perfect but i dont deserve what you people are saying about me. i hope one day you guys feel what it's like to lose your child and grandchild to a manipulative person who just wants to cut their family off." May 24, 2023 (Same Day as previous post, before deletion of 2nd account, now deleted) https://old.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/13qkug9/squatters_rights_in_indiana/ "I am currently in the process of moving and have moved all of my things out of my old house and into my newly purchased home leaving my old home empty until it sells. I had a neighbor that had a squatter issue a few years back and I'm concerned that with my house being empty someone will break in and try to claim squatters rights. Is this possible in Indiana and would it stop the sale of the house?" *****New Update Post: October 3, 2024 (1 year, 5 months later, 1 year 7 months from OG post)****\* Title: Can I sue to get my sons ashes? My son passed away earlier this year. we had a really rocky relationship over the last year or so which was mainly caused by his wife. they separated after he had a work related accident that caused a TBI and had lasting effects on his personality and she basically decided she coukdnt do it and told him to get lost. they were separated when he passed away but I dont know if divorce had been officially filed for. they had two children together supposedly and he has an older daughter from a previous relationship. When I received the news of his death I was able to see him before she had him cremated and I requested some of his ashes from the funeral home but my wishes were not honored and I didnt want him creameated either but obviously that wish was not honored either. I have reached out about a number of things including his ashes and some belongings and she is not willing to part with any of it even though they were separated. she claims that they should go to his supposed children along with all life insurance policies he had and his work settlement. I say supposed children because I have reason to believe her children are not his. Can I sue for his ashes and belongings? is there a way to have a paternity test done so that way his belongings and ashes can go to his sister and I if we are the only living relatives? i dont understand why she woukd get them if they were separated and she abandoned him and i feel like his actual living relatives woukd be entitled to everything. I am in indiana but they were located in vermont. Some of OOP's Comments (all downvoted): Commenter: If the breakdown was his wife's fault, why did he not reach out once separated? How do you know they were separated, and how long was it for? OOP: He did reach out before they were separated after his injury. his injury made him be able to stand up to her finally. i know they wont replace my son but i would still like some things to remember him by. i will not be able to have a relationship with her or the kids if they are even his because she nuked our relationship after giving birth to her oldest and did the same for me and his other daughters mom. Commenter: The way you talk about your 'supposed' grandchildren really doesn't sit right with me. Makes me think like you were to blame for the falling out, not her. If the 'supposed' children were good enough for your son, that should be enough for you to treat them as such regardless of how you feel. Also, he's left children. That money will help with them. I want to feel sorry for you as you have lost your son and I can't even begin to fathom that. But you just give out mean girl energy. OOP: I cant treat them any way because their mother wont let me around them and have convinced oldest mother as well. she has gotten everything including the last time with him and stole a year and a half of his life from me and she abandoned him. Commenter: I’m beginning to see why she doesn’t want you anywhere near her kids… OOP: Because its alot easier to just only have her family in her life and she is selfish and evil and decided to tear my family apart over a personality clash and petty trivial things Commenter: "Supposed kids" you mean your GRANDCHILDREN? this posts screams you just are about the money. OOP: I dont just want money i just dont think it shoukd go to her. i woukd like some of his things because i woukd like somethings to remember him bu. he built things i woukd like to remember and have and things he got from my mother i woukd like back. I have reason to believe they arent his kids To a deleted commenter: Thank you for commenting. his beneficiaries just automatically get everything? His wife made us estranged and I blame her for him being dead and I just dont think its fair she gets everything after leaving my son because of his disability including the settlement money from his job when they finish settling. He died alone in a hotel because she woukdnt take care of him and was punishing him for talking to me after his injury made him stand up to her. Edit to the post: How nice of you all to make fun of skmeone who has lost their child. you all need to take a hard look in the mirror at who the devil is here. i have been shut down at every turn for the last year and half to have a relationship with my son and his children and now a part of me is dead. i am grieving everything and trying trying to be able to get a piece of my son so i have SOMETHING to feel close to him. disgusting of you all. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I 25F am an electrician. I started my apprenticeship at 17 and was hired immediately by my sponsor after I received my license. The reason I chose a trade was that I grew up in a trailer with my mom and sister, and I have wanted to own a house since I can remember, and being in the trades gave me access to a stable job and access to more money sooner. My partner, 29F, Thea, is a plumber, and we have scrounged and saved. In the end we bought land and built a tiny house in the uptown area of our city. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom, one of the bedrooms is our reptile room, as I keep snakes and Thea keeps bearded dragons. We are child-free and happy in our home. My Sister "Lucy" 34F, is a waitress and has three kids (M4, M3, M2). Her husband just left her for a woman my age and she is left without his income to raise all three kids on her own. Her husband bought out her half of the house during the divorce and that left her and the kids living with my mom in the trailer. I can admit I didn't grow up in the safest of areas and was carrying a knife when I was a teenager because of the danger. Because of the safety issue, Lucy came to Thea and I and begged us to let her and her sons move in. She said we would have to get rid of our reptiles or keep them in our room, her sons could have the other bedroom, and she would sleep in our kitchen on an air mattress. She said nothing about paying us rent or helping around the house. I told her no, because two toddlers and a little kid who is about to start kindergarten aren't suitable to be in our home and we don't want too many people in our house. She said that we live in a better part of town with better schools and that she needed the help. I told her we didn't have the room and that I was sorry, but I could hook her up with some journeymen I know and she could get started on an apprenticeship that pays better than her current job if she needed extra money. She called my job and Thea's job "Dirty blue collar trash" and left our home. She posted about how we wouldn't let her stay online, and now my relatives are messaging me about, "How could I let a single mother and 3 kids be homeless," How "they're your blood," and "You owe your sister better than that." I feel like a complete asshole even though Thea told me I have every right not to want them in our house. AITA? AFTER DINNER WITH MY XBIL EDIT: Thea and I went to dinner with my XBIL tonight. He brought his laptop and showed us all of the documentation. 1.) Lucy used her proceeds from the house to pay for her attorney, even though my XBIL offered to pay (timestamped e-mails to prove it) 2.) The woman living with him is his niece, not his AP, as Lucy claimed. (She came to the meeting; they have pictures and phone records showing that she is my XBIL's older sister's daughter.) 3.) LUCY CHEATED: ALL 3 BOYS AREN'T HIS. And DNA tests show that they all have different dads. So Lucy has been having multiple affairs. 4.) The 300 he is sending each month is a good will payment for allowing him to be a dad for a few years. 5.) Lucy isn't waitressing, she is working for Amway and another company called Sentsy in direct sales. 6.) Lucy won't do an apprenticeship because it doesn't fall under traditional gender roles (posts on a second social media account) 7.) Lucy has made homophobic posts on social media about me and my wife, and blocked us so we didn't see them. In the end... IDK what to think. submitted by /u/ElectricThrowRA to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

UPDATED Sorry in advance for the long post. Not sure if this fits this subreddit, so sorry if it doesn't, I just seriously need to vent. Some back story: I (31F) grew up pretty poor. I don't remember it well, but at one point my parents and I were only able to afford to eat beans and rice. My parents have since been able to pull out of poverty and while they aren't rich they are comfortable, and I have used a lot of what I experienced as a kid as motivation to be super careful with my money. I got a job in high school, worked odd jobs on the side, saved up every penny, rode my bike everywhere instead of driving and paying for gas, and by the time I moved out of my parent's place I had a little over $17k in my savings. I don't have that much tucked away anymore, but I have investments and emergency funds and take my family's finances incredibly seriously as I never want my children to experience what I did as a kid. Mine and my husband's financial choices afforded us the opportunity to purchase a home in the beginning of 2015, which we bought 50/50 with his mother. He paid his half up-front, I made a large down payment, and his mother covered the rest with an escrow agreement that I would pay off what she had purchased. I have since completely paid my half and the house is fully owned by myself and my husband. It's a 4 bedroom, 1 and a 1/2 bath, 2 story home with a finished basement, attached 2-car garage, on a double lot. We got the house for an absolute steal at only $118k (for sale by owners). Since purchasing we have installed a fence, updated the oven, washer and dryer, water heater, furnace, and paid for materials to have all the interior rooms repainted. The only updates it needs are purely cosmetic, as the exterior paint is an ugly brown-pink color (which we have started repainting and need to finish), the hardwood floors have some distortion due to it being a 100+ yr old house and us having dogs when we lived there, and the bathroom could use an update but structurally speaking doesn't need one. Needless to say, on a scale of 1 - 5 with 1 being "tear down the house and start over" and 5 being "it's ready to put on the market to sell for $300k today" the house is sitting at a 3.5 - 4. Back story complete, let's get into what has become my biggest headache for the past 4 years. I have a friend, let's call her Carly (F27) who had incredibly similar experiences to me growing up, but struggles with finances and has never seemed to get the hang of keeping any sort of savings over $50 at a time. I'm not sure if it's a lack of self-control, or that she's simply too focused in the moment when she gets paid and doesn't think to look in the long-term, but she consistently makes her lack of funds everyone else's problem. I don't blame her for having issues with money, as learning to create a budget isn't exactly taught in school and it took me years to learn to find a healthy balance, and the freedom of being able to buy whatever you want with no restrictions is super tempting, but at some point you have to learn to take responsibility. During the course of our friendship, I have helped her build countless budgets based off of my own (I made roughly the same amount of money as her), but each time they "failed" for whatever reason. We tried different ways to try to trick her brain into realizing that money sitting in her account wasn't to be touched as everything needed to be used for bills, etc, and each time she would wind up still using every penny. It finally came to the point where I refused to help her with her budget anymore, because she never listens to my advice, and when I pointed out the easiest and fastest method to get her spending under control was to get a payee she said she "didn't need to be treated like a child who receives an allowance". Fair enough. I washed my hands of that topic. Carly moved out of her mom's house a little over six years ago and into a mutual friend's place, let's call her Tia (F27). As far as I have been told by Tia, Carly paid little to nothing in rent, even though they both worked at the same company and made close to the same salary. Carly's living space was an absolute disaster. She moved into the basement and it was lucky if there was even a walkway to get to the washer and dryer. She constantly asked me to come over to "help" her clean and organize her space, and because I'm a people pleaser I would always agree. Each time we would make significant progress, but then by the next weekend when I would come over to help again it was as if a tornado had gone through her space in the course of the week. I have no idea how she was able to fit so much stuff into that tiny space. She would never clean up on her own or make any sort of effort to put anything away and would always wait for me to come over, and if anyone were to come down to watch us it was always me cleaning or organizing while she sat back and dictated where everything went. Getting her to donate or throw anything away was like pulling teeth as somehow even the smallest scrap of paper had some sort of sentimental value. After a little over a year of them living together, Tia couldn't handle it anymore and asked Carly to find some other living situation. She wasn't going to throw her onto the street, but she literally couldn't live with Carly any longer (there are a lot of other things that built up that caused this, but I won't go into that here). It just so happened that my husband and I had purchased a second home around this same time. What we had owed on the first was paid off, my husband had come into an inheritance, and we were able to look for our forever home that better fit our wants and needs. The best part for us is that the new house was literally a 5 minute drive from the old house. We had yet to decide whether we wanted to sell or rent our first house when Carly approached us with the offer of renting it from us. She and two other friends were looking to move in together, and with the house being as big as it was, there was plenty of space for all of them to have their own room and privacy. Since we hadn't yet decided if we wanted to sell, and there were three renters already lined up, we decided to use it as a means of passive income to invest in our future and then down the road we would revisit whether or not we wanted to sell it or keep it as a rental. The red flag that I didn't initially pick up on was that Carly was already referring to the house as "her house" to her two potential roommates even before moving in or signing a lease, so by the time it came to them all moving in, Carly had driven the other two girls to back out. The way I had written the original lease agreement was that the rent was flexible depending on how many tenants there were, so for the three of them they would have only been paying $750 total per month, and if only one person was renting it would be $400 per month. In this area you can expect to rent a bedroom for $400, so this was a crazy good deal as we really didn't need the money and it was mainly to pay for insurance, power/heat, and property taxes. In the four years that Carly has lived in that house, rent has gone up 4 times. Once to $500 a month because the power bill went up and we needed to adjust for that, the second time to $550 a month due to the same reason, the third time to $750 after she got a new job, and last year in October (more on that later). Also in the four years she has lived here, 2 separate opportunities for roommates have backed out. Each time because she was setting the rules and referring to the property as "her house" despite having zero claim to it and the fact that each person would have their own lease agreement. When she first moved in she was working a minimum wage paying job and she was my friend, hence the low monthly rent, but a year and a half ago got a new job at a local university (30 minute drive away) that pays very well and has great benefits, but somehow she manages to blow through her entire paycheck on I don't even know what. Also during the course of these past 4 years she wound up owing me $750 in back rent as she repeatedly was unable to pay me the full monthly amount due to repeated miscalculations in her budget and overspending on garbage, which she then stuffed into mine and my husband's property. My husband and I realized after a couple years of being landlords that we aren't cut out for it; we have too much on our own plates and had no time for upkeep, and Carly wasn't holding up her end of the rental agreement that she had signed. We talked about it and settled on the decision to sell, but we of course didn't want to throw Carly onto the street and informed her of our plan. She proposed to buy it from us and started going through the route of getting a loan. During this process she realized that the house wasn't what she wanted; she wanted land and the house itself was far too big for her. She told us that and we understood, and I even helped drive her to meet with realtors so she could check out other options to buy houses elsewhere, but each one fell through as she discovered that she wasn't going to get a "new homeowners" discount or bargain with any loans that she looked at and all of the loans required at minimum of a 10% down payment, which she of course didn't have. This is where the entitlement starts. Carly wasn't going to be able to buy a home, at least not the home she wanted, and settled on buy our house. We had briefly talked at the very beginning of her tenancy that we may consider a rent-to-own situation, but no agreement had been made. No sale price had been decided, no appraisals or property inspections completed, nothing had been signed. It was simply a comment that we had made in passing and then chatted about later, again in passing. She took it as gospel truth and said that if she bought the house that she expected the 2.5 years of rent she had paid us to be comped off the total sale of the house. I reminded her that we never signed anything about a rent-to-own and informed her that wasn't how this was going to work. Her next tactic was to try to suggest that we "quitclaim deed" the property to her, again without her paying us anything additional to the 2.5 years worth of rent she had already paid us. How this works is that whoever owns the property grants the title/deed to whoever they're giving it to, and it's generally a lot faster and cheaper than going through the process of buying a house, BUT there is still generally something paid for the property when the title is transferred. At this point she'd only paid about $10k in rent, more than half of which went to paying for utilities that we covered instead of having her pay them and property taxes, and she was making it sound as if she wasn't going to give us anything beyond that. I again told her that this would not be a viable option. The house was in great condition, and even with the exterior paint and repairs to the floors and bathroom was worth at least what we had paid for it: $118k. She tried to spin it that she was doing us a favor by taking it off our hands, as I had expressed to her that we were tired of being landlords and it was more effort than we had time for. Her last attempt at buying the house on her own was to offer me $1. That's right. A single dollar. I will admit, I don't know if this was a failed joke attempt on her part, but it certainly fell flat and I was so mad I was shaking, though I laughed it off. Side note: During the time she has lived in the house, my husband and I have some stuff stored in the garage, as Carly parked on the street due to convenience, and she suggested on multiple occasions that she start charging us rent for storing things in our own house when none of it was in her way whatsoever and we had already made it clear that if she purchased the house that we would remove all of our property. At the end of 2022, Carly started dating Reggie (28M). They were long distance and would take turns visiting each other, and Carly made the comment to Reggie that we were looking to sell the house, and we threw out a couple numbers, the very lowest being $100K, but said that we of course would have to have an appraisal and look at market value, etc. He offered to buy it from us and said that he would start the process in March/April of 2023. I was relieved, my husband was relieved, Carly was relieved, everything was looking great. Some information about Reggie at the time: He is a retired marine. He gets a monthly check from the government for close to $2000 on top of his well paying job. I'm guessing based on what Carly told me, but at the time he made his offer he was probably making between $4500-$5000 a month. When March/April came around, Carly and Reggie informed us that he would not be able to afford paying both his rent where he lived and a monthly mortgage payment and wouldn't be able to start the purchase process then, but would start the purchase process in October instead when he planned to move in with Carly. Before Reggie moved in an ex-friend offered to rent a room in the house from Carly and pay her despite sub-letting being clearly stated in the lease agreement as prohibited. Carly so "generously" offered to pay us some of the amount that she was paid. The agreement fell through and the friend did not stay in the room. I'm not exactly sure why he chose to do things the way he did, but Reggie didn't start the purchase process at all until after he had moved and quit his job, meaning the only source of income he had to show to a mortgage company was the monthly stipend from the government, which even with a veteran's loan doesn't work as proof of income. When he moved in, rent increased to $1000 a month, which is still under value for the size of the home, and a brand new rental agreement was written and signed stating that if they had not started the buying process to purchase the house from us by mid-April of 2024 that we would not be renewing the lease nor would we work with them on month-to-month rental options, as myself and my husband are completely and totally over this mess. We also stated in the rental agreement that we were not going to list the house for sale as a sign of good faith to allow Reggie and Carly first choice on the house to buy it. Here's a rapid fire list of things that have happened since October. Reggie paid the $750 that Carly owed to me in back rent. Carly and Reggie informed us at some point either late November or early December that they would not be buying the house as the repairs required amounted to more than $50k. I don't know where they got this number, as I have budgeted on multiple occasions to redo the flooring and it would be less than $15k to redo the entire house, nor would repainting cost more than a few thousand, or the bathroom remodel, as they intended to do the work themselves. (We repaired the major damage in the bathroom recently for less than $500). They could not acquire rental housing due to having three cats and will indeed be staying in the house. We informed them we are not renewing the lease and reiterated our reasoning. I made the mistake of telling Carly what we owed on our mortgage and they turned around and offered us $50k to buy the house from us, less than 1/3 the market value of the house if we sold it "as is". We politely declined and then promptly when home and screamed into pillows. They have repeatedly told Tia that they are "desperate" for money to the point of debating setting up a Go-Fund-Me, all the while Carly has gotten 2 brand new tattoos in the past year, and has an international trip she has paid for in full that she is going on at the end of March and Reggie has still not acquired even a part-time job. We emergency installed a water heater that Reggie paid for that I will have fully paid back by the end of March. Carly quit her job and now the only income they will have after the end of this week is Reggie's military stipend. Carly nonchalantly stated that we would "have to renegotiate rent" for this month and next month. There will be no negotiations. She made a bad decision and will have to live with the consequences of her actions. The most recent thing she did was text me two days ago asking if she could pay me in food for this month's rent. Knowing her, the amount she will pay will amount to only a couple meals and maybe $75 in groceries instead of the roughly $500 that they will owe (I owe Reggie roughly $500 left to pay off the last bit of the water heater). I jokingly answered that the electricity and insurance companies don't accept food as payment, so neither can I. She then offered to pay me what it would cost to pay these expenses and then the rest she would pay in food. I have not responded. It's been a day and a half. They will pay me in cash and nothing else. I'm done. No discussion. My warning to all of you: don't mix business and friends without getting to know said friends very well first. If I had known what I would be walking in to, I never would have allowed her to move it. Update 1 Good. Fucking. God. Thanks for all the comments. There was some great advice in there and I appreciate it. I should clarify. The reason we let Carly move in in the first place is because she made it sound like she literally had nowhere to go. She'd spun a tale that her home life with her mom was not safe (untrue), she made it sound like Tia was literally kicking her out THAT DAY (also untrue), and she panickily hounded me relentlessly in person and over the phone until my husband and I made a super quick decision to let her rent from us. I've learned this is a method of manipulation. I've reached out to an attorney. We talked about everything that's happened, they read through the lease, and gave us a few options. We wait until May 1st when Carly and Reggie are supposed to be out of the house. If they're not out, deliver a "intent to sell" notice. That gives them 90 days to vacate the property AFTER the lease is up. Not ideal. We deliver the "intent to sell" now. That means they have until mid-June to gtfo. Still not ideal, but better. If they're still in the house past the 90 days, we file "unlawful detainer" and the cops forcibly kick them out. We can't evict because we don't have the grounds. Even with ALL OF THIS. The courts just about everywhere are against landlords and in favor of tenants. That the minute their rent is late, we then have grounds for eviction. That gives them 14 days to pay or gtfo. But if they pay the eviction process ends. So still not ideal. They can't get squatters rights because they haven't been here long enough. I'm going to be telling her mother everything she's done, because I'm pretty sure she has no idea. I'm also telling all our mutual friends. I've done a lot of self reflection lately before writing this post and came to several conclusions. I know she's not my friend. I had a false idea that I was helping someone that I saw as a friend and in the end I enabled her shitty behavior. I'm aware I'm a doormat. I know I don't know how to set boundaries. I spent a lot of time on the phone and in professional offices over the last few days. I'm on a waiting list to see a therapist and learn to set boundaries, because I don't ever want to teach my kids my bad behaviors and habits that got me into this mess. And for all of you who mentioned that it a miracle my husband is still with me, he was with me along the whole process. I never did anything without his consent, since we own the house 50/50. I'm taking most of the blame because Carly was my 'friend'. I've apologized to him and we had a deep conversation about working on communication. He apologized for not seeing sooner that my 'friend' wasn't who she claimed to be and didn't warn me I was being manipulated. I'll update again when we get closer to May 1st unless something happens sooner. Update 2 This is hopefully the last update. Sorry it took so long to get back on here. They're out and have been since April 1st (and no it wasn't a joke despite the date). Life's been insane and I've been so overwhelmed with this whole situation that it's been hard get back on here and face the it all again. They left the house a mess, but that's not surprising. They claimed they didn't have the time or money to finish even though there was a whole month left on their lease. Honestly, I'm happy that they're out, though I am pissed about the mess. I'd rather clean up a bit instead of fight them in court to kick them out. I told her mom and showed her everything, and her mom was angry as well and told her off a couple times for 1) leaving the house in the state they did and 2) treating me (and others) the way she has. I've also started therapy and am working on setting boundaries and getting over my people pleasing. The last I spoke to Carly was yesterday because I learned from a friend that she joked about leaving the house a mess on purpose because she was mad at me. I confronted her and asked why, even if it was a joke, because even jokes have some basis in truth. She said that it was because emotions were running high and she was stressed at the end when they were getting ready to leave, that she was frustrated with how little I did with the house while she was there (despite me repairing everything that needed it ASAP), and she was mad my husband and I stored some of our things in the garage. I explained that 1) it's our house, we can do that, 2) there was plenty of space in the garage for her things as well, and 3) NONE of her vehicles would have fit in the garage anyway as they were all too long and none of them RAN, so she couldn't have even gotten them into the garage. Carly also had to junk out 2 of the vehicles she left behind, even though she'd explained she had someone who could keep them on their property so she could work on them. I don't understand any of her logic. I'm done trying to figure it out. Last thing she said to me was that she was sorry, though I don't believe she genuinely is and is just saying it to make herself feel better. Thanks to everyone that's read and commented and given advice. It's been greatly appreciated. Sorry if it's a bit anticlimactic of an ending, but I'm relieved that it's done. Some good news is that we're working with a buyer now and are making steps toward selling for what the place is actually worth :) submitted by /u/Just-zander to r/EntitledPeople [link] [comments]

My ex-husband and I divorced when my son was ten. My ex had found someone new. We went for 50/50 custody but he still had to pay some child support. I went back to school at that time. On the weeks his dad had him I buckled down and did nothing but schoolwork. When he was with me I made sure I had time for him before and after school. I did expect him to help around the house but nothing excessive. Mostly just cleaning up after himself and helping with cooking and laundry. His dad's house was more fun. I tried to make my home welcoming. I bought a used PS4 and I got fiber optic internet. It wasn't enough for him. When he was 14 he and his father got the court to award my ex primary custody. I did fight it but my son made it clear he would run away if I didn't give in. Counselling didn't help. I tried everything. It was devastating having my son decide I wasn't someone he wanted to spend time with. He started skipping visitation. When he did come he would leave the house and not come home until it was time to sleep. During this time I started a relationship with my current husband. He helped me through this. He wasn't on my radar romantically, nobody was, so he got close by being an amazing friend. I asked him out and we got married six months later. We had known each other since I went back to university. Six months after we got married I got pregnant. By strange coincidence so did the woman my ex was cheating with. Not the woman he left me for. A newer model. I had sold my house and my husband and I bought a condo together. Just a two bedroom apartment with a tiny den. We made the den into a nursery and consolidated our offices into the second bedroom. My ex moved in with his new girlfriend and she isn't a fan of my son. His stepmother doesn't want him there if his father isn't there so my son is also in the new house with his dad, his dad's pregnant girlfriend and her mom. My son is sixteen now and he called me to see if he could stay with me. I said I didn't really have any room. He asked me what I did with his room. He didn't even know I sold the house. He is very upset. He called me a bitch for not having a place for him to stay. I said he could stay in our living room on the couch. Not acceptable. I talked to my husband and we have enough money from the sale of my house and his old bachelor pad a well as our condo to buy back into the market. We were waiting for interest rates to fall. And we were going to move to a more reasonably priced city. I told my son if he could take the living room for now we could have a room for him in six months. He moved in with his grandparents. He isn't happy there. At least his dad got him a car so he can drive to his same school. My son is pissed that I prioritized my new baby and my work over him. I had no expectation to ever need to house him again. My ex called me and told me to make our office into a room for our son. I told him that our son's circumstances were his fault not mine. submitted by /u/Scary-Literature-835 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am not the Original Poster. That was u/throwRA_rorotheMIL. She then created a second account: u/Throwawaydisownedson. She posted in r/relationship_advice, r/AmItheAsshole and r/legaladvice. And her own page. I had changed letters to names in the previous BORU post here. I used those same names in her update posts for clarity. Trigger Warning: pre-eclampsia, threatening suicide, psychiatric facility Mood Spoiler: maddening and wtf New Updates are marked with *****\* Original Post: March 9, 2023 Title: My (F 50) Daughter in law (24F) gave birth and doesn't seem to want a relationship with me, making it difficult to have a relationship with my son (31M) and new granddaughter Hello Reddit, TLDR: I'm looking for advice on how to build a relationship with my daughter in law, and get over the rift she's causing since giving birth. My son (David, 31) has been married to my daughter in law (Bea, 24?) since September of 2020. Due to the pandemic I never really got to know her because they only dated for about a year before they got married, and I didn't know about her until they had dated for about 6 months. I love my son very much, but I feel like our relationship has been rocky since they git married. He has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10, and since they got together I haven't had the same relationship with her. I know this is partially because he moved out of my house (very suddenly without really saying anything I may add), and I no longer get her on his weekends. I try to get them to bring her to visit when they have her, but usually I only see her once a month or so, and lately it has felt like she has been more distant when she visits. I think this is because Bea says negative things about me around her, and I find that unfair. They just had a baby at the end of January. She was induced due to pre eclampsia and in labor for 3 days before having a c section. I had been in an accident a few weeks prior and don't have a vehicle, and my son refused to pick me up to be there for the labor at all or to see the baby in the hospital, but her parents got to see the baby and were in the parking lot the entire time. I called him while she was in labor a few times, but on the second day after her water broke I called him and heard her snap at him to get off the phone and he refused to accept any calls after that. I just wanted to know thst the three of them were okay though! She was in the hospital 2 days after the c section, and they wouldn't stop to visit me on their way home after the birth because she was hurting, even though she had pain killers she could have taken and she "didn't feel right" according to my son. This is when I became concerned she had PPD. My daughter ended up picking up her prescriptions and some groceries for them and got to see the baby that night (her and Bea have a relationship that is apparently pretty good). I was supposed to visit a couple days after they got home, but she ended up insisting something was wrong and went back to the doctor who apparently sent her to the hospital. My son told me they diagnosed her with post partum preeclampsia, but I was pretty certain that that was only something that happened during pregnancy and went away after birth so I was pretty sure he was confused. The day after they admitted her again, 5 days after the baby being born with everyone meeting her but me, was my birthday. I called her around 8 that morning to see what was really going on but she didn't answer. A while later my son called me and wished me a happy birthday and asked why I had called Bea. I admit I snapped at him and said SHE should be returning my call, because I called HER. I hung up on him and maybe 5 minutes later she called me. I told her she should have called me and that I wanted to hear her voice and hear from her what was going on since my son gets confused. I then asked her if this was a mental or physical issue, and she went silent before saying physical. I asked of she was sure, and she got kind of snippy and said they had padding on her bed because she was a seizure risk and she couldn't be alone with her newborn, so she was pretty sure. I didn't comment on her tone because I was sure she was stressed. She was released her the next day, and they came and visited me while I was at my daughters watching her two kids on their way home so I could see the baby. I offered her some pillows to sit on (my son said she "basically gave birth both ways", even though I knew this wasn't true I wondered if she had some soreness that made him think this), and she refused my hospitality saying she was fine and felt pretty good. Two weeks later my son picked me up and brought me to their home to visit. I stayed for a few hours, and she didn't really make any effort to talk to me. She was just quiet and sat on the couch. When my son took me home I asked why she was so unhospitable, and he said I had been rude while she was in the hospital. That she shouldn't have had to call me, and that I shouldn't have asked if it was a mental or physical problem because he had already told me it was physical. He also said I shouldn't have posted anything on Facebook before her about the baby being born, and that I was rude when he called to make me take it down. She doesn't post on social media very often so I didn't think it would be a big deal. He hasn't picked me up to see the baby because he says he needs to be there to help with the baby, and they won't bring the baby to me because he says the baby isn't allowed in my house. I told my son I'm planning to quit my job to babysit for them, but I haven't even gotten her return to work date and she hasn't once thanked me for doing it. Overall I feel like she's holding onto some very petty things and is using them to keep me from my son and granddaughters. I want a relationship with her, but I am missing some critical bonding time with the baby and I am going to struggle to forgive her for it. Especially over petty nonsense she won't even bring up to talk to me. I'm really wanting to send a text and lay all my feelings out for her and just hash it out, but I understand there are probably cultural differences at play with all of this too, so I could use some advice on what to say. Relevant Comment: (I took out some from my original BORU Post for length.) Commenter: Lady, if you don't pull your head out of your ass, you're not going to be part of their lives at all. You're not owed nearly any of what you seem to think you are. When it comes to their baby, they don't owe you crap. Your son had two priorities when his wife was in labor. His wife and their baby. Not you. He didn't have time to come pick you up or talk to you on the phone. Have you ever heard of a taxi cab? She shouldn't have to take a pain pill just so they can stop by and see you on their way home. How incredibly selfish of you. They did the right thing and went straight home. Are you seriously questioning a doctor's diagnosis? Do you really think it's appropriate to ask her if it's physical or mental? Are you mental? You're lucky anyone called you back at all. They are tired and are learning how to care for their newborn and that is after your DIL had a complicated labor and delivery and complications after birth. No one has the emotional bandwidth to deal with your entitlement. You inconvenienced your son and had him pick you up and drive you home. Again, taxi, Uber, Lyft were better options. Then you're complaining his wife, who is exhausted and still healing was inhospitable. I'm guessing she was saying plenty to you in her head but was to polite to actually verbalize it. Do they even want you babysitting their baby? Did they actually ask this of you or did you just decree that this is what is happening? You do not post baby news on Facebook without the parents permission. You were rude and overstepping. If you want to send them a text, send them a sincere apology for being a pushy, entitled, pain in the ass and promise you'll behave better in the future. OOP's response: I'm a grandparent and do deserve to be in my grandchildrens life. I also deserve not to have my eldest granddaughter turned against me. Saying they owe me nothing is incorrect, and courts would agree with that. I love them both so I don't want it to come to that, but I am OWED that. If he would have came the first night before she was in real labor he wouldn't have needed to talk to me. We don't have taxi cabs, and the uber would have been well put of my budget. She refused to take any of the pain killers once discharged, period. That was selfish of her. And I had food for them too, so my son wouldn't have had to cook. It wasn't just for me to see the baby. No, I was question if my son had the right information. He's relayed wrong things before. I understand that from her perspective after reading some of the comments. However in my family it's just common to call back regardless especially after having a baby. I see it's a cultural difference. I can't uber to where they live otherwise I would be there every day! If that was an option I woukd have definitely jumped on it instead of having him pick me up, but uber isn't I their tiny town. I told my son after I heard Bea telling my daughter about her struggle to find reputable daycare without a year long wait and how she was scared for the safety of her baby. They won't have to worry if I watch her! My son just said not to post pictures. I didn't realize announcing I was a grandma again woukd be a big deal. I deleted it. I told my son I was sorry for hurting her feelings when he told me. I've always apologized to him when he's told me I've done something wrong in her eyes, whether I think it was wrong or not. I don't want to hurt her feelings ever. I want her to know she doesn't have to run to my son though, she can come to me. And I want a chance to explain myself to her. Post in Legal Advice: March 24, 2023 (2 weeks later) (post is deleted) I'm seeking advice on getting grandparent rights in Indiana. My son has two daughters with two different women. The oldest is 10, and he and her mother were never married (no custody agreement, they just have an informal agreement). The youngest is almost 2 months old, and he and her mother are married. I was under the impression that any grandparent could petition for custody/visitation in the US, but the way I'm reading it I can't unless my son is incarcerated or they aren't married? Is this correct? What do I need to do to seek joint custody of my granddaughters? What do I need to build a solid case? I've already tried resolving this without going this drastic, but his wife doesn't want to work with me. Commenters point out that she does not qualify for grandparent's rights in this scenario- she saw them at Christmas and they have to able parents: I was under the impression that grandparents rights were for when a parent is keeping a child from having a relationship with the grandparents? Visitation would be more then once every 3 months or once a month wouldn't it? I don't feel like there is much of a relationship left with any of them to torpedo. So if I sacrifice a relationship with them to have a relationship with my granddaughters that would be fine."People draw attention to her previous post and that she's angry her son moved out: I CAN'T travel to them currently - if I could I would be over there as often as I could be. I have apologized even though I don't think I was wrong. If she felt slighted by anything I said I apologized for it. Really, though, I don't think it should matter. You don't use kids as pawns. I can have a relationship with my granddaughters without her - or I should be able to. That's what I thought grandparents rights were for. To make sure parents couldn't stop an essential relationship with grandparents without a damn good reason (like abuse, drug use, etc). Also. He didn't need my permission to move. I just didn't appreciate that he gave no indication he was leaving. "I have apologized for everything she felt I did wrong, against my better judgement. I don't feel like I shoukd have to continue to beg. My son says shes not preventing me from seeing them and appreciates my apologies, but I still haven't seen my grandchildren." Update Post: March 30, 2023 (3 weeks from OG post) Well, I apologized to my daughter in law for all the things my son listed. Since I had received feedback about it being my son's job to "handle" his family I told him my apologies to pass along, and then I waited. However, I got no response from Bea. No thank you, no trying to bury the hatchet, nothing. So, last Friday I made an appointment with an attorney to discuss grandparents rights and had that appointment on Tuesday. The lawyer told me I had a good chance with my older granddaughter, but would likely get no where with the baby. I filled out some paperwork to get the process started, but Tuesday night I was questioning if I was doing the right thing. I called one of my friends to discuss, and was seriously considering not moving forward with it after talking to her. Then yesterday I received this message from Bea: "[Me] this is [Bea] I just wanted to let you know that [friend] told us you're intending to go for grandparent rights, and also shared everything you've had to say about me. Let me first say that I have not once kept the either of the girls from you, and I certainly have not kept [son] from you. He is a grown ass man, and if he wanted to talk to you he was free to. You have not asked to come over and visit since [son] picked you up - you cannot expect us to 1- read your mind or 2 - drop everything and come pick you up. We have a new baby, and we have our own lives. I also have not said a word to you about what happened during delivery/postpartum, because I have no energy to argue with you. [Son] said you apologized, and I told him I appreciated it (even though it was NOT a real apology. You apologize for what you did to hurt my feelings, not that my feelings were hurt). I don't have time for your drama. For the record, though, what you said was absolutely disgusting. I almost died - it had nothing to do with my mental health. Since you have decided to go for grandparents rights, we will have no direct contact with you. All contact will need to go through our lawyer. You have been removed from my Facebook. You are not permitted to post any pictures you have been sent of my child on social media, and [older granddaughters mom] feels the same way regarding [older granddaughter]. We intend to have something written up by our and sent to you by the end of the week regarding this, and ceasing contact with us. I assume we will be servered with your visitation paperwork this week as well. You will get no pictures or phone calls going forward. In fact, you will be blocked. I also hope you realize you will absolutely lose this case. Your house is not suitable to live in, and you would have to be able to pass a drug test. When you lose, we will not resume contact with you. You lost your chance at being apart of our kids lives by deciding to go to the most nuclear option instead of just communicating with us." I tried to respond to her and tell her that I didn't want to go through with it anymore and I reacted pit of anger, but she wouldn't answer texts or calls - so I assume I really am blocked. I called my son to tell him about the text she sent, and he said he knew about it and it was a lot nicer then what he wanted to send me. So, that's where I'm at at this point. I'm going to show my lawyer the text so that it can show how unwilling to forgive and to work with me she is, and hopefully it will resolve quickly so I can at least get visitation rights with my oldest granddaughter. Edit to add: I dont appreciate the nasty messages I have received or the barrage of nasty comments. I admit I made a mistake, but now this is my only option. It's clear that most of the responses from reddit are from those of young people not from my generation, as I have gotten different responses in other online support groups from people my own age who are also grandparents, many from my own culture. Relevant Comments: (I again removed some that were in my OG BORU post) Ummm the drug test? "She says that I would have to pass a drug test. I use medical marijuana to help with a chronic illness, but it is still illegal where I live." "I am quitting entirely since this is a possibility [getting in trouble]."Why tf is your daughter a better mother?"Because they need to have better cultural examples. For instance, the oldest mother is also not from our culture/race, and her hair is very different from her daughters. She has no idea how to take care of her hair! It's always a mess. My daughter in law has taken some initiative in doing and styling her hair, but she's still not great at it. The girls need someone who can teach them how to handle basic things like taking care of their skin and hair. Oldest hair has been something I have encouraged them to let me handle long before daughter in law came into the picture. Not taking care of a child's hair is a form of neglect. My daughter knows how to do those things because her hair and skin are much closer to theirs and she can handle it with her own children."One last gem: I dont feel I deserve to be treated better, but equal. We are both equally important in my son's life. She is obviously more important in her daughters life right now, but without me that baby wouldn't be here. I would drop the grandparents rights case if I wasn't cut off - I reacted out of anger and desperation, but now it's the only option since I'm cut off." A few people pointed out there is a post that seems like it is from the daughter's perspective on a different sub, but OOP of that post has requested it not be re-shared. It has also been deleted. However, some highlights include: MIL threatens suicide because "they turned the whole family against her and won't let her see her granddaughters." Is placed in psychiatric care for 72 hours and released. MIL called CPS and said they were starving and neglecting their infant. CPS had to show up. MIL also says OOP is holding her husband hostage and police show up Thankfully the police and CPS see there is nothing wrong and all charges are dropped OOP states she and husband are going to try to move ******NEW Post: May 22, 2023 (2.5 months from OG Post. New Username)****\* Title: AITA for removing my son from my will after our relationship ended? I really don’t think I’m wrong, but I just need reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. I (F 50s) have a son (David, 30s) who is married to Bea, 20’s. They have a daughter who is 4 months old, and my son has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 10. Bea & I had a falling out after their baby was born, and my son and granddaughters got caught in the crossfire. The falling out happened in March, and I know I did and said things I wasn’t proud of, and although she hasn’t apologized I’m sure she feels the same way. It would be too long to go over the history, but at the most extreme point I did consult a lawyer for grandparent rights. During this time, my son had no contact with me, but when I dropped the grandparents rights case I asked for things to go back to normal. My son expressed that he wanted things to go back to normal, but that a lot of damage had been done and he really didn’t know if we could go back to normal. For Mother's Day, my daughter decided to take me out to dinner, and she begged David to go and bring the baby (oldest was with mom). David eventually did agree on the condition it wasn’t on mothers day, and He, the baby, and Bea came. Bea was quiet most of dinner, but did talk to my daughter a few times – I guess they have a pretty good relationship. Bea held the baby the entire time, and wouldn’t let me hold or take pictures (part of the falling out was over pictures and Facebook, so I found this to be petty). Overall, I would have called dinner a success. At the end I hugged my son and told him I was proud of him for putting his foot down and coming to dinner with his daughter, and that I hoped he could continue to do that. Looking back, I know I shouldn’t have said anything. My son called me later that night and told me that he couldn’t continue to have a relationship with me. He said that Bea was their child's mother, and he wouldn’t ever bring the baby anywhere without her blessing. I was drunk when he called because I have had a hard time coping, and I admit I lost it a little bit on the phone call and told him it was despicable that he couldn’t man up to his wife, and that he should have come to see me on mothers day because I am his mother. He ended up hanging up on me. I called the next day and profusely apologized to him. I know it was wrong of me to have said what I did, and I told him I want a relationship with him. He told me he couldn’t do this with me anymore. I have been heartbroken ever since, but I understand I guess. I called him last night and told him that I wouldn’t be contacting him or his wife anymore ever, and that I respected that we wouldn’t have a relationship. I also let him know I would be taking him off as my power of attorney and out of my will so he never had to be bothered with anything from me again. I don’t have much anyways. He got mad at me and called me a sorry excuse of a mother, and now my daughter is saying I’m manipulative. I really don’t understand how I was wrong in giving him what he wants." Relevant Comments: People figure out pretty quickly that she is the same woman as the other posts. The scenarios, ages and the way she often spells would with a "k" as a mistype. That and her overall tone. You need therapy: "I have been in therapy to help deal with this trauma. I've been told that I need to respect his boundaries so this feels like I am. Why would i want someone who doesn't care about me making medical decisions for me? He's also expressed I'm a hoarder and I don't have money so I don't know why he would want to be bothered with stuff in a will." Someone links the DIL's post (again, OOP of that requested that it not be re-shared so I will not be posting it here) and asks if she really threatened to commit suicide if she didn't see the baby: "No, I said I wanted to kill myself because I felt like I had no one. While I was on a hold for 72 hours and received treatment I got set up with my therapist to help deal with some of the trauma both from what's happening now and past issues." "I had a psychotic break. This is one of the actions I truly regret." Update Post to AITA: May 24, 2023 AITA woukdnt let me post an update due my post being "violent" so here we are. after someone posted a link to what i believe is my daughter-in-laws reddit posts and i read some of the verbal beatings i got i did some more reflection. i feel like her perspective of events really helped shift my view. i do want to point out there are several people who told me i was not wrong and that this younger generation has a poor view of family values. i really believe i was judged so harshly because there are so few parents\grandparents on reddit. i went to my son and dils house but it was mostly empty. i was afraid of this after reading her post and some of the comments. i found the listing and its been posted for almost a week and is currently pending but i cant find where they moved to and all the photos are of the house mostly empty. i suspect they bought it under an llc so i am currently trying to figure out how to find out the name of the llc and then find the house. i talked to one of their neighbors and they said they moved most of their stuff out around the beginning of may so my son kept this from me for quite a while and didnt even bother to mention it at dinner. i had a meeting with my therapist to help me through this but im still a wreck. my son has just disappeared. i know everyone here is looking through my small 3000 character limited posts and my dils long gripes about me but my son woukdnt do this on his own. his wife is absolutely manipulative but it doesnt change the fact i handled this all wrong and drove him further away. if i woukd have just sought out a relationship with my son ang granddaughters without b i dont think i woukd be here. i should have just played nice. one commentor said it when they asked me “do you want to be right or do you want to have a relationship with your son and granddaughter?” and i choose wrong. my therapist told me to give myself some healing time before pursuing anything but for now my plan is to just save some money and hire a private investigator to find my son and then rebuild my relationship and his trust so we can work to get him out from under her. again i recognize i was wrong in some of this. i recognize i was overly demanding and critical – i was wrong in some of this. but i didnt deserve this. people who use kids and grandkids as pawns are evil. i will probably continue to seek advice but it certainly wont be from this account. and to whoever linked my other posts from my other account and told my dil about this screw you. Edit- One more comment from OOP when her post was crossposted to r/AmITheDevil "screw everyone here. i am far from being a devil. i am not evil. the person who is evil is the one who took my family completely away from me. my dil has completely manipulated my son. ill admit i was far from perfect but i dont deserve what you people are saying about me. i hope one day you guys feel what it's like to lose your child and grandchild to a manipulative person who just wants to cut their family off." Edit 2: Thanks to u/adaptablekey for finding this She also posted this in the 'legaladvice' sub, before she deleted her account. https://old.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/13qkug9/squatters_rights_in_indiana/ "I am currently in the process of moving and have moved all of my things out of my old house and into my newly purchased home leaving my old home empty until it sells. I had a neighbor that had a squatter issue a few years back and I'm concerned that with my house being empty someone will break in and try to claim squatters rights. Is this possible in Indiana and would it stop the sale of the house?" Edit- A reminder that it is against the rules of this sub (and reddit) to comment on the Original Posts or dm OOP. Edit 4- OOP has now deleted her second account. Editor's Note: Updated BORU 1 year later here submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OBlondeOne in r/EntitledPeople on Sunday, February 26, 2023, with updates as comments on original post through Saturday, March 4, 2023. Spoiler space for mobile users with some tidbits about clothing donations: Americans discard an estimated 68 pounds of clothing a year, while buying 10 pounds of recycled clothes. In 2006, 2.5 billion pounds of fabric were kept from the landfills by used-clothing purchases. Yet about 99 percent of what is thrown away can be recycled. Clothing and household textiles, consisting of fabrics such as cotton, polyester, nylon and rayon, make up almost 5 percent of the total garbage in landfills. Clothes are typically recycled by donating them to charities like the Salvation Army or Goodwill Industries, which will provide tax forms for deductions. You can also sell them at consignment stores for store credit or cash or on the Internet through auction or donation sites. Charities will either sell the used clothing and use the proceeds for their work, or donate the items to the needy. About 20 percent of clothing donations are turned over to thrift shops. The remainder, sold to textile recyclers, can end up as wiping rags, insulation, upholstery stuffing, ingredients in paper products or used clothing exports. ​ trigger warnings: verbal abuse, gaslighting, drug use ​ Some people... - Sunday, February 26, 2023 [NOTE: I have added a couple of clarifying words in brackets to reduce quoting.] I'm part of a local donation group, so every now and then, I get asked to help with clothes donations. Someone passes away or downsizes, and I will help wash, fold, sort, and deliver the clothes to various free stores. Sometimes, if we are notified of someone in the community in need, we will deliver essentials like winter or kids clothing to their house. We're just a group within the community -there is no religious, political or ulterior motive. We just spread extra through the community as needed as discreetly as possible to help out. This particular situation just hurts my head, and I'm still trying to figure out how it escalated the way it did. So a few days ago there was a fire in our community which left 3 families displaced. We collected what we could in the sizes they needed, and off we went. We dont ask for anything in return other than knowing the families are a little better off. We always apologize and explain that while they may not be they styles they're accustomed to ( as donated clothing ) but at least it is clean and warm. If they had specific needs to let a member of the group know and we would do what we can. A lot of our collected items belonged to other families whose children outgrew the items. It's anonymous and it's a way for our more comfortable community members to help out others within the community with this. It's one thing I love about my community - people don't hesitate to help where needed. I was given an address and head out as usual. Pull in, get the bags and coats to the door and knock. After that... I'm not sure what to think. It started off as it usually does. There was a mother and 3 children, so I explain that there are 3 bags of clothing in the sizes submitted, and a box of age appropriate toys just like with the other families. I thought I heard wrong when she said she preferred my coat and just said what? She called me rude and told me again,' This stuff is OK, but I want the coat you're wearing '. When I told her, "No, I'm sorry, but I just bought this coat she got angry and accused me of picking through donation bags for "the good stuff." I've never run into this issue before. None of the group members are well off. In fact, that's why we do what we do. Because life is hard here and we believe in sharing what we have as a community. We collect good quality items from those with extra and distribute it freely to those that need it or have specific needs. Sometimes we all take items from our own closets if they're needed more elsewhere. Last year we raised funds to help purchase a wheelchair accessible vehicle for a family. The year before it was a young family whose matriarch was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This years cause is to build 4 'tiny homes' for the homeless in our community to use as needed. Our goal is to provide stability so they can successfully reintegrate during and after addiction rehabilitation. We all do what we can to try to help, basically. It's a hard world to feel alone in. Now, my coat is expensive ( $250 ) but I've also saved gift cards for 2 years and anxiously watched for post-season sales before finally taking the plunge and got it for 75% off. Maybe I messed up by wearing it on this errand? I don't know. After I said no, this is my coat a second time, she started yelling at me. I just left the bags on the doorstep and drove away. Today I wake up to a slew of texts from the group asking me to explain why I refused to give the mother any winter coats, and why I left everything at the end of the driveway... allegedly in a ditch? They aren't questioning. Most are downright accusatory. Some are just borderline mean. It's the kind of day where I feel like giving up on this making the world a better place thing. I've been where these families are. And people helped me just like this. I know what it feels like to rely on others... so I do try to be compassionate and understanding without being condescending or pitying. I don't often talk about what I do because nobody needs to know what came from where, or who is getting what. It's just paying it forward. I do this because it's been done for me, and it's the right thing to do. It's that simple. But after today... I don't even want to reply to anyone. It's not just that woman. It's the texts that are getting kinda nasty at this point. It's these people obviously talking about me behind my back. It's how quick they were to assume I must have done this. I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore after all this. I've been part of this for 5 years and have never had a complaint before. I feel betrayed by people I thought were my friends. It just all feels gross, dramatic and depressing now, and that's now how this is supposed to feel. === I could understand if this was, like, a fancy fur coat or something. This is literally just a rather plain looking long coat that happens to be super warm. I don't get it. It's only been an official group with a board for about 4 months. But we have been doing this for 5 years now as a project of mine and the current board president that gathered consiserable traction and volunteers/funding as time went on. They so need policies in place. If only to protect the clients that use the service. But as a new board we are all just learning the official ropes and red tape as we go. The one person I thought I could count on is currently the one insisting this happened as the client describes. I'm just so confused. We did need a board in this case as we are partially federally funded- the community pantry is, anyways. It's a requirement. Unfortunately. I've had 1 out of 5 [members of the charity group] text asking if I'm ok, and what happened. The rest seem to believe that I did this. I don't know how to move on from this. Because the truth will come out eventually in a community this small. It always does. The question now is do I want to be involved with people like this. I don't think I can trust them after this. === Maybe take a breather from the group. The way they treated you is horrible. The issue is I can't avoid them either. I'm going to have to answer eventually, either via text or in person. The longer I wait, the worse it will be. I know that. But I just don't want to deal with this either. Small community. The truth will come out eventually. But it's now obvious that I can't trust these people. No matter what's said after this, the damage has been done. Update: As suggested, I did text them as a group in bullet form stating facts only. ( edit: sorry for formatting. Copied from text ,) ' Items were carried to front door as per usual Client requested my personal attire Client accused me of theft from donation bags Client verbally abused me I left the following on Client's doorstep : ½ bag of women's clothing sizes m-l : 1+½ bag children's clothing sizes 3-8 : 1x bag of assorted linens & towels : 1x box of assorted children's toys and books I am trying very hard to understand the context of some of the messages I've received about this, and am truly confused as to why anyone would think I would purposefully degrade a Client. You all know my history and reasons I participate. As I feel I no longer have a place of trust within our group, I am formally resigning from my roles within the committee, and the (group) I will, with your blessing, remain on the Helping Tree as a contact' So far the replies are very interesting. They range from apologetic to accusatory to narcissistic. The most interesting one so far, I think, was not intended for me and insinuated that this was for the best. I can't believe how naive I've been. There's an emergency meeting being scheduled for next week, as apparently you're not just allowed to resign mid-term from a board like this without a valid reason. Which I think I have. The benefit of this is my accuser also has to give an official statement in the meeting minutes because ive resigned. Which I'm allowed to attend and comment on. Which adds validity ti my reasons for resigning. Would it be petty if I wore my coat again, or should I choose something older? Genuinely asking. I don't want to make things worse. I just want out to do my own thing. Rumors are already starting and seem to be in my favor. Small towns are terrific/terrible for that. And I've just been texted asking me to withdraw my resignation ' for fear this may cause an irreparable rift in our charitable group'. I have 8 months left to my current term as Secretary. A position that requires the trust of the board members to record accurate notes. Which I no longer feel I have. I don't want my character unfairly questioned again after I've worked so damn hard to build it up. My resignation was intended to prevent drama and divide. It is doing the opposite. What would you do? I feel like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Not allowed to resign? What are they going to do, ground you? With a formal board, there are steps to take to remove a member of the core board ( pres, vice president, secretary, treasurer, committee heads). Or so I'm being told. This may be a stall tactic. I'm going over the current bylaws and policies but it's small font and a hard read. I'm surprised/touched by how many clients are defending me, but I think this is what is causing a lot of drama and distrust both within the organization and with those that use it. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by quietly resigning. It just sucks, for lack of a better word. I feel like the religious have it wrong. It's not judge not lest ye be judged. It's just be judged these days. Going forward, it needs to be mandatory that there be two delivery people on every delivery. No excuses. There will be people in the future that are in dire need of your group's services. Please do not let that woman's behavior stop you from helping those who appreciate your work. And bonus if the other helper has a phone's camera on . You have documentation, and they grow manners if they didn't already have them. Has anyone gone by the house again to see if there was really a ditch?? Oh my... My dash cam! I'm going to check it. Thank you! Thank you so much! No audio. No clear AHA! moment. But it does show enough. It shows me pulling in, and that there's nothing on the porch. It shows the car moving slightly as I take the bags out, and it does show a bag being deposited on the porch as well as at least 2 coats/snowsuits. As I back out you can almost see the whole porch. You do see her outside but the definition isn't good enough to see her face or what she's doing. I'm also still not sure what proof-if any-has been submitted by my accuser(s). Who, I'm told, has been dropped from the Helping Tree community pantry registry. I'm actually starting to get very angry. That woman messed up. But she has 3 kids under her care that deserve to eat and be clothed. This is going way too far. Update: Ungrateful client is board presidents former sister in law. And yes, they're still friendly. Ah. Small towns... 🤷‍♀️ I can't wait for next week... I KNEW IT! This whole fiasco smelled strongly of being COMPLETELY orchestrated! Typical small town intrigue and power struggle when there's only ONE that's struggling for the power! President wants you kicked out because you're a CO-FOUNDER and SHE wants to take ALL the accolades and applause from the community! Go get your reputation back, sweet Lady! You ARE needed and necessary to the community, if you weren't, you wouldn't have been doing this charitable work for FIVE years! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!! I'm trying to figure out how to walk away, but still acknowledge what's going on without hurting the board-they do good work that's needed. I can't torpedo that no matter how I feel. And that's the problem. I think I'm going to ask for an official board inquest -which is eithin my rights according to our by-laws - before I go. I can't see someone doing this over reputation or clout. I certainly hope not, anyways. But if the inquest finds this was planned ( who tf does this? ) I would have grounds to have the board President removed. It's not pettiness- I don't want to see this done to someone else. But you're right. Something stinks here and it gets worse by the day. I'm going to look into [comment ends here] I'm going to submit a statement to the board, with footage from my dash cam that shows at least 1 bag clearly on the porch. Unfortunately, I forgot to itemize the coat/3 snowsuits & boots dropped off in my group text, so I do have to justify that one somehow. I also just heard they dropped off another 3 bags to the woman, including winter gear. I think it's an attempt at damage control, but I also think they're moving in the wrong direction, given what I'm hearing from many. If she tries to sell the excess, like many seem to think she will, this will all come to a head so much faster. Either way, I'm ironically the least invested in this around here at this point. Small town drama ... I admit, looking back, it is odd that I was given this client when others were closer. I had thought it may be because of scheduling conflicts but I'm finding that's not the case either Interestingly, there are rumors going around that this was staged. I'm trying not to pay attention to rumors without proof but I'm starting to wonder.... I hate this with a passion. It all seems so damn stupid. I'm still so confused. The meeting has been scheduled for Wednesday night ( 2 days time ). I haven't decided if I'm going yet. I don't want this drama to derail what has been a good thing so far. I may just submit my statement and resignation and leave it at that. Popular opinion is on my side so why make it worse? I agree with this so much!! People have had to do that here in my town too. We have small groups that helps out the community that aren't in any organization or charitable groups, just themselves giving back. We had specific residents in town that were running their mouth and taking "donations" and selling them for money. Eventually these residents were burning through different community groups and established organizations and they would complain about each one saying they weren't helping and deliberately causing trouble. These groups did post on Facebook telling their sides of the situation, just like you suggested. Well those residents kept doing this and blaming people for not helping, blah blah blah. It didn't take long for the rest of the town to realize that these specific residents were pulling these scams and they were booted out of all the community groups in town. Sometimes you do have to stand up and tell your side to the community. Eventually the truth will come out. You are brilliant! After reading this I started thinking about other groups that this woman may have been a part of at her previous location. Well. WELL. I now have 4 witnesses to past behavior willing to come with me Wednesday from 3! groups that have been similarly burned by this woman. The question is.. do I want to take it that far? I do- and I don't. I feel this has taken up far more valuable time, and it's taking away from the original purpose of the group. I'm also being asked to submit my name for board president by the majority of the board for the upcoming term. So I'm being supported ( now ). I still don't trust any of them to have my back should anything happen. And if I replace the Pres shit will happen. [Comment was deleted, but basically said, "Wear your coat to the meeting, and bring the receipt for it!"] I don't think I need to bring the receipt. They are all aware of when I got my coat, and what I paid for it. I'm being told there are 2 board members who seem to think I'm blowing this out of proportion ( Pres and Treasurer ) and should just take the reprimand ' maturely'. When ( if ) I go in Wednesday I'm just going to tell then simply that I feel I no longer have the trust required for my appointed position, and am respectfully resigning to prevent further drama. Pass in my official resignation and walk away. I've also discovered the emergency meeting is to consider 3 resignations-not just mine. OP, defend yourself!!! There’s something fishy about this. Also, call CPS (anonymously?) and report her for being unstable. No. I won't be petty and call CPS Those kids don't deserve to be dragged into this, too. === Maybe you should start your own group with people you can trust? I've actually been thinking of a fringe group for more rural locations that don't fall.within community boundaries. This may just be divine intervention in disguise. Update. The meeting. My apologies This will be long. As I parked, there were a couple that stopped to say hi, but the majority of the board did not acknowledge me. My accuser though.. she had a great laugh at my expense, and literally taunted me in front of the others on the way in. 'ooh here for more, are you? Guess you didn't get enough of me yet' and blows me a kiss. She showed up with the Pres. I feel that's relevant. Especially seeming as she ran home. The meeting started at 6 pm. I was not allowed to sit at the table until the issue was brought up... I sat, alone, for over 45 minutes. Finally someone peeked outside at 6:53 ( to see if I was still there? ) and called me in. My accuser wasn't there. I say down and the first thing said to me was ' well. We may have made a mistake' followed by this big flowery apology that stank of bullshit and was gaslit better than a propane stove. 'You know that when a complaint comes in, we have to investigate it' At that point I just exploded. Like... I didn't even talk to my kids like that when they were babies. It was the kind of tone you have when talking to the very simplest of minds. I told them there's a massive difference between investigating and outright accusing, and that I didn't appreciate how their ineptitude at leading a board nearly derailed the whole organization and just put a really bad light on what we were doing. She says ' by unanimous decision, we've decided not to accept your resignation. Welcome back' I've likely been this confused before, but I don't remember when. I was expecting this to be much harder. I had a factual speech ready and everything. Walked in and it was just 'we oopsied, oh well teehee' 'Well that's unfortunate that you refuse to accept it, because it's given and I'm not rescinding it. I'm out. And it seems you all know exactly why. For those who have reached out to me- I'll consider your offer of leading this board, but at this time, I'm not comfortable with the lack of trust and transparency I'm seeing. ' and left. My phone has been blowing up all night. I meant to update immediately but it just kept ringing and tinging. I don't even know how so many found out ( good old gossip is my guess ) but I had over 30 calls and just as many texts/social media messages. So. What hspprned while i was waiting outside. My accuser decided to get on something pre-meeting. Literally acted like a wild animal at one point. I'm told it was so bad that the police and Child Protection Services were called by 4 of 5 ladies present, and when told they were called, my accuser took off running home. That's a whole 'nother story. The kids are now safe, I'm told. There's that. The versions I'm hearing are surprisingly similar, for once. So I'm going to tell you the events as I was told. Pres' husband is apparently an addict. Who gets his stash from the sis in law/accuser. I'm not clear on the details but I'm told blackmail was involved. Common word says she threatened to spill the beans on hubby. You know how it goes. Get hurt, get prescription, get hooked, get cheaper street drugs because they're cheaper and no doctor regulates them/questions your dose. There's a rumor he is also sleeping with sustained in law but this is not confirmed... but has been going around for the better part of a year now. Maybe I should start listening to more rumors because I had no idea. Accuser started off normal, if ' twitchy'. She went to the washroom and shit allegedly went sideways not long after she came out. At one point she was laying on the floor, ' slithering and grunting' like an animal'. I wish I could have seen it, but kinda glad I didn't. When Accuser left, it swayed the remaining 2 votes my way. There was a discussion on how to ' handle' me where the Pres just said she'll follow the board on the vote after they shot down her suggestion that the complaint still be addressed. The way she glared at me when I came in ( yes, wearing my coat! ) tells me she was not happy about it either. The vote was unanimous to keep me. I did not wish to stay after all that. Tomorrow they have an open board meeting to tell people what happened, as transparency is ironically a promise we made to the community so they know exactly who and what they're supporting. I won't be there. But a lot of angry and confused people will be. I'm glad I'll be missing it, but I have a feeling I'll hear all about it. I'm told there will be some calling for Pres' resignation. We shall see, I guess. I started this feeling lower than low. Tonight I'm surrounded by positivity and I feel GOOD about this decision. Is this Karma? It feels like Karma. Steps are already being taken to form what we will call The Fringe Farm. We will collect fresh farm goods donated by local farmers and deliver to homes that need a little extra, focusing on those that live between communities and people new to rural life. Eventually I hope to offer clothing and household goods, but I need to find a source outside the community so I'm not taking from the original group. I also have a preliminary board. Comprised of 3 of 5 members of the original board haha I've told then they have to finish their term at the group (because they do damn good work, and it's not fair to those that need them to just walk away-hypocritical? Msybe. But i refuse to torpedo the group ). 2 still submitted resignations because they're just floored by that last meeting. Theirs was depending upon mine, so their exit meetings are being scheduled for next week. Because they no longer have a secretary to record minutes I'm being asked to. I'm also being asked to submit my name for Pres should the current one agree to resign. I haven't decided if I will. I feel that will come across as petty, and tbh it's no longer my business. Thank you for the encouragement. I'm not sure if I would have had the courage to attend if not for the overwhelming kindness and support shown here. By strangers. * shakes head*. You have no idea how much this meant to me when I needed it. Thank you. Update #2. The open meeting was a shitshow, I'm told. Pres was called to resign. Refused. So the board resigned. The group is now being led by the Pres and that's it. So it's essentially dead. You need minimum 3 board members to continue as a registered charity/nonprofit. Nobody ( out of approx 50 ppl ) raised a hand when asked if they wanted to join. The Fringe Farm, by comparison, has more volunteers than we can organize. This is the group started after you lovely folks helped me decide staying wasn't worth the trouble. I have mixed feelings over this. One.. it's nice to feel validated. The other... I really don't like how this went down for too many reasons to count. Our first task as a new org? Writing an iron clad policy everyone agrees with. Including specific steps to collect, file and address complaints or concerns. ​ Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/midesaka to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is the story of how I completely changed out my community's HOA board and foreclosed on one of their houses after they disrespected me. TL;DR I got fined for ridiculous things by my HOA and got ticked off and decided to get on to the board. I then spent a year removing all members of the board I joined and replacing them with people that were pro-small HOA. I have since helped reduce policies and tried to make the community better for everyone. Backstory A few years ago, I bought my first house in a medium-size (500-1000 homes) neighborhood in a southern state. It had an HOA, but I actually picked the neighborhood because they had the lowest HOA dues in the city, the fewest rules, and the house was by far the nicest one I could afford in my budget. After a few weeks, I get a violation notice from the HOA telling me that I had two violations needing correction: My lawn was not green enough. My trash cans were too close to my driveway. I was thoroughly confused about #1 as it was February, in the middle of winter, so of course my lawn was dead (like pretty much everyone else's), so I had assumed that either this was a mistake or an existing offense from the previous owner. As for the trash cans, I kept them on the side of my house and I think when the HOA came by, my trash cans stuck out past the side wall ~1 foot, so HOW DARE I?! I shrugged them off and continued on. Come March, I got another notice, this time fining me for both violations. Each one cost me $100 and they wanted the money in two weeks. I. was. pissed. This has made no sense and I was not about to let them just try and get money for BS violations. So, I called the management company that worked with the board to get them appealed. The lady told me that I needed to appeal directly to the board, and that I could do so in the next annual meeting in a few days. So, I of course showed up to the meeting. Prior to it starting, I met with a few homeowners and learned that they were all there for similar BS violations, and were pissed off too. I then talked with one of the members of the board about the fine appeals process. He was older guy in his 70's with short grey hair and a very worn and angry face. He asked what I was getting fined for, and when I told him, he just looked at me and said: "And you should get fined for that. Young people like you not taking care of their homes is the whole reason I got on this board. Learn to be a better property owner." This dude was the VP of a volunteer board telling me that I did not know how to take care of my house. What a sad life. The meeting then started and the moderator mentioned that since this was an annual meeting, we would be voting on 3/5 board members. They had some applicants to the board, and we could also nominate someone today. That's when I had the idea of how I could get my revenge. When the election part of the meeting came, I nominated myself, gave some BS speech about HOAs are not here to make money and that I wanted to serve my community. I won in a landslide, and you could see the board members getting annoyed because they had scowled during my speech. After the meeting, I appealed my violations (in a very elegant way) and they agreed to waive my trash can violation. As for the grass one, apparently since I had weeds growing in my yard (like tiny patch in the corner), they were still fining me because the weeds were turning yellow after I sprayed them. I was dumbfounded how they could get away with this, but they used a technicality in the bylaws that I had signed, so I ended up losing $100. Revenge I will be honest, I had not expected this too work. After joining the board (of 5, including myself), I was appointed secretary and had to help maintain meeting notes and review records. They specifically told me that I was not allowed to propose new policies, but I could vote on new ones proposed by the VP or President (which I later learned was actually a violation of their own rules). I voted every new rule down as long as I was in that position. I decided that my best course of action was to listen to how the others operated, and look for an opening to get each of them off the board. The first opening came when the President (who literally looked like the most Karen woman ever) mentioned that she had wanted to fine for flowers that were not "neutral" color. Basically, if a homeowner wanted to add something like turquoise flowers, we would fine them. She apparently had a neighbor that had flowers that she didn't like, and she wanted to use the board to stop them. It was pretty insane. I then started my revenge on her. I started a message thread (on Slack since that's how we communicated) with the other board members and asked what they had thought about her policy and reasoning. After far too much deliberation (two of them honestly thought that this was ok), we agreed that the policy went too far. I then made a long post in the main channel telling her that her actions were not only wrong, but that she should be excused from the board. When she inevitably flipped out, I called a board meeting in the following week, and the other 4 board members voted her off for targeting a community member for personal gain. She gave a sob story about how the board was her life and that the neighborhood was like her child, but I didn't care. That was one down. I \ convinced one of my good neighbor friends to join a little later on to take her spot. The next members I targeted were the treasurer and director, as I wanted to save the VP for last. They were actually pretty easy to get off the board because they were very easily swayed by public opinion. So, I made a fake account on Nextdoor and waited until Spring (when most of the violations go out). When the letters went out, I looked for angry posts on Nextdoor. I then would comment on each one giving them the first names of the two board members as the culprits and told them to come to the next HOA meeting to appeal. It worked far better than I had expected. During the next meeting, over 50 people showed up and called out those by name. It was glorious. During the open session, community members grilled those two for their poor policies (even though they did not make most of them). The VP (now president after the other one resigned) tried to defend them, but ultimately failed. The two members were so distraught after the meeting, and I told them that maybe they should resign, and they both did. That was two more down (both of which were replaced by a couple who came to the same meeting and wanted to get rid of these rules). Finally, the board had been flipped to 4 out of 5 people wanting to get rid of all these dumb rules. The president however, was still same old angry hateful man. He tried to add more rules to increase violation revenue and we voted him down every time. He started to get annoyed, but stayed steadfast to the board. I tried a lot of tactics to get him to leave, and not much swayed him. A few months went by and we started with a new management company. They had a much better style of property management and a website for looking through our community's records as well as automated reports. When we got our first fines report, I hit pay dirt. The President's house appeared, and he owed around $10,000! Apparently he had open violations that he had never paid and the other management company hid it from the board for him (since he had been on the board for close to 7 years). So, I looked into remedies. Since his fines were over $3,000, our bylaws stated that a majority vote of the board could start an HOA foreclosure on the home (which I still think is INSANE that HOAs can do that...). So, I got all the docs together and double-checked with the new management company that the fines were correct, which they confirmed. I called an emergency board session, presented the information, and 4/5 of us voted to start the foreclosure process. The president got angry, cursed, and left the meeting early. We were informed a few days later that the President had resigned, paid his fine, and put his house up for sale. While I am sad we couldn't force a foreclosure, at least he was off the board. I am currently president to this day, and I have reduced the fining policy to be a maximum of $400 and home owners can appeal any time that they wish digitally. In addition, I have banned any grass fines until May, and trash can violations have been super relaxed. Morale of the story: never fine me $200, call me a stupid young kid, and expect to not lose your house. submitted by /u/chilldude890 to r/pettyrevenge [link] [comments]

Original Oct. 7, 2022 My school is next to a trailer park with 250 tenants. Roughly 30% of the students at my school live there. Recently, it sold for $16.8 million. I got a call this last week from a grandparent who got an eviction notice taped to her door. The company that bought the trailer park told all tenants to pay rent through an online portal, but the portal doesn’t work. This grandmother dropped off a check to pay rent, but the landlord didn’t cash it. Now she thinks she’s being evicted, and she’s worried her grandson she has custody of will have to change schools. I looked at her lease and the notice and told her it wasn’t legal because it wasn’t served by a sheriff and she’s not on a month-to-month or rent-to-own lease. The deputy I called said it was a legal "Notice to Quit" instead— not an eviction. I traced the address of the notice to a company’s PO box in Delaware, 8 hours away. Today, the special needs aides at work told me all of their students’ parents received the same notice on their door. The new landlord is trying to force renters out so he can bulldoze the trailer park and replace it with higher occupancy apartments. It’s a beautiful time of year with red leaves on the mountains and the fields are full of pumpkins. The kids at my school are hopeful everyday and have no bitterness in their hearts. It is absolutely insane to me that we live on a planet that could be heaven, but the circumstances of human relations created by capitalism make it hell. Update 1 Oct. 9, 2022 TLDR: the trailer park across from the elementary school where I work in VA was sold to an anonymous investor and they are evicting all the tenants— possibly 20% of the students at our small school. This is some Pynchon-level chaos involving professional football players and the Panama Papers. I’ve tried to get the help from the media, but nobody has picked it up. Maybe you guys know how to piece together what’s happening? The public announcement of the sale does not include the name of who bought the trailer park for $16.8 million. The tenants are supposed to make out checks to PO Box 249, Englewood, NJ. So that’s all we are working with. This address is linked to several trailer parks in Virginia with sewage issues and many trailers parks all across the country (Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Florida). One park listed is Pinecrest MHP in CA, and a document says the legal address is the Corporation Trust Center in DE which is listed in the Panama Papers as using the Isle of Man as a tax haven. A company using the same PO Box, HOA II Finance One, LLC also links back to the same Corporation Trust Center. The name listed as a manager for some of the parks using the same PO Box all over is "Byron Fields" with an email linked to a defunct website, ourhomesofamerica.com. There’s a LinkedIn profile for Byron Fields that says he works for Homes of America, but the profile picture is of Byron Fields, Jr, who played football for Duke and signed for the Giants. Did a professional football player use a shell corporation to buy a trailer park and evict all the tenants? Can anyone find anything else? Update 2 Oct. 14, 2022 Half the busses that take students to the elementary school where I work come from a trailer park down the road, which sold for $16 million in April. The property itself is only assessed for a little over $2 million. It was never on the market. The buyer spent over $10 million for the land and another $6 million for the buildings, buying the park directly from the family who owned and managed it. The buyer was kept off public documents. The new owner raised the rents and now (6 months later) is evicting all the tenants. After the sale, the tenants were told to pay rent to [the old name of the trailer park, + new 'LLC' added to the end] and a PO Box in Englewood, NJ. The PO Box is shared by a professional football player named Byron Fields, whose LinkedIn says he works forHomes of America. He was an intern for Alden during college. That guy is now the nominal 'manager' of a dozen trailer parks in the US bought by Homes for America. The PO Box gets forwarded to Corporation Trust Center, where American money disappears into offshore accounts to evade taxes. Byron Fields didn’t buy this trailer park. On investigation, the buyer is Thomas Del Bosco, an executive of Alden Global, who bought the trailer park under a nonprofit called Homes for America. He’s also an executive of Smith Management LLC. Alden Global owns stakes in both my local paper and the bigger paper nearby me— who (surprise!) are not covering this story. Alden Global is mentioned in the Panama Papers because it’s sheltering all its money offshore. Past investors in Alden have included the Knight Foundation (a nonprofit that, ironically, funds sustainable journalism projects), pension funds for employees of Coca-Cola, Citigroup and CalPERS (the California public employees’ retirement fund), as well as some nonprofit foundations and Swiss financial institutions… more than $236 million in pension funds for some Digital First Media employees are invested in Alden, although the company said this year it’s in the process of pulling them out. How can hedge funds operate through nonprofits? They are buying papers, ruining them by cutting the staff in half, and creating nonprofits about sustainable journalism while investing the pensions of the employees of the papers they have bought into their own hedge fund. If you have so much money, you can ruthlessly buy everything and create profit margins by casting out workers and tenants onto the streets. We need to jail hedge fund managers and slumlords, nationalize banking, and guarantee home ownership for Americans. It is frankly enraging how badly Americans are screwed over by finance capitalism. I believe these students have a sense of community at our school, and eviction will traumatize them and further impoverish their parents. A 3rd grade kid named (something like) Tiny Tony told me his dad is now working everyday of the week to try and make enough to pay the hiked rent and stall off the eviction. He is so stinking cute, and he loves school. I don’t want him to be swept away. major edit: the money is going through Homes of America LLC, not Homes FOR America (the nonprofit). Update 3 Oct. 15, 2022 This update is an image of OP handing out flyers, telling residents who is responsible for this situation. What's important is the secrecy behind this Tom Del Bosco: Alright so this isn't the first time I've heard the and seen the name "Tom Del Bosco", nor is it the first time I've looked into it, nor is it the first time that name had been used for public affairs, and yet, it never really leads me anywhere. I think the name Tom Del Bosco is mostly used as an alias or coverup name to help hide a person or people. Or it's all hardcore scrubbing. You can look up Tom Del Bosco and you'll find random people from random parts of the world. Look up Alden Global and you'll find it's a hedge fund, that's it, no real history, no clients, no employees... But you might find that they just so happen to be the owners of many several news outlets. I highly fucking doubt it's coincidence. Not the first time this has happened and it's not gonna be the last, I wouldn't even be surprised if local, state, or national news says literally nothing about this purchase and eviction of people. It's all super fucking shady, but what I do wonder now is. How did OP get this sheet of paper notifying them of who to contact and who to seek aid from? I personally don't think it was someone that they know. What I do know is that everyone in the area will leave, sooner or later, for some reason or another. Basically, if you search up Tom Del Bosco or Alden Global, all of the search results have been bogged down, you can't even find a picture of this man's face. He might have paid people to scrub him from the net. Update 4 Oct. 15, 2022 I typed a flier on my phone about the mass eviction happening at the trailer park where my students live. When I went to print it out at FedEx, the chick working there asked if she could share it on social media, and I said yes. I parked at my school and walked along the highway past dead deer and haunted places. I reached the park and started talking to the families that were outside or who had their cars parked in the driveway. Every single person was kind and grateful I was doing something. I had been afraid park management would bounce me because it happened to me before but nobody has seen management in days. Things I learned: -An elderly man was being evicted over $12 -The mobile app they’re being required to use is tacking on crazy fees -HUD (housing assistance) vouchers are being returned to sender, and the tenants who use assistance are now in thousands of dollars of rent debt -a few days ago, the new manager left a hundred page packet on the tenants’ doorsteps, outlining all the new rules that could cause the residents to incur new fines. One particularly dark rule is that everyone can only have one pet now. -A man invited me into his trailer where he lives with his young son. They showed me the floor in their bathroom had collapsed. -The tenants were told if they didn’t pay these new fees by October 28th, they would have 3 days to move out before they would be evicted. -Over half the tenants had been there less than a year, so there’s high turnover. Pretty much everyone said this was the only place available immediately that they could afford. -The tenants pay between $400-$800 in rent. -Some of the trailers are from the 1970s. -All the notices that were eviction-related had simply been taped on peoples’ porches. -I saw how the payment app they were now being made to use didn’t work and didn’t have any contact information about who was managing the park. -Someone showed me that they were being charged fees with dates occurring before they moved in. -One woman showed me how electricity didn’t work in half her trailer. -Three men I talked to work grunt jobs at the weapons plant. One worked at Walmart. One was in construction. Only half the people I talked to were white. Three people mentioned disabilities. In all, I was there for three hours and talked to a bunch of people. Surprisingly, I didn’t see any of my students. I walked back down the highway after dark. I had put my number on the flier but nobody has called me yet. I’m going to go back on a different day at a different time and try to talk to more people. I’m exhausted and I typed this from the bathtub. This is an ongoing saga, OOP seems bent on not backing down from her activism. I thought this deserves to be spread around for awareness. Let's all signal boost the hell out of this This email belongs to someone that can relay this story to John Oliver's show, we should let her know. Any more emails linked to the media will be helpful: [email protected] MSNBC/Rachel Maddow: [email protected] a powermod on r/pics, r/funny, r/gifs, and r/iama mass permabanned me for spreading the word. This billionaire is paying to get this story supressed r/workreform banned me for spreading the word and recently added 2 new suspicious mods when I got banned 3 hours ago that then muted me the second I pointed that out. Are they Alden Global employees? submitted by /u/riverstyxoath to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

We sold our starter home 3 years ago for $175k. It is less than 1,000 square feet, 2 bed, 1 small bath but with a great yard. The house is 100+ years old with a leaky foundation, a mouse problem, incredibly crooked floors, and just needed tons of work that we weren’t willing to do. We were very open about the problems and even paid for our own inspection that we provided to prospective buyers. We were honestly just happy to be rid of the thing. The house was listed this week. The roof is new, existing wood floors were refinished, and the linoleum in the kitchen replaced. I can’t tell what other work was done but it still has the same kitchen with abnormally small stove and cabinets where we found so many mouse droppings. Same tiny bathroom. Same foundation and basement floor with evidence of years of water infiltration. It’s listed for $310k. While this would be an amazing ROI for the seller, it really just makes me so sad for people trying to buy a house right now. I know houses are worth what the market says they’re worth, but if someone waives inspection on that house and pays $310k for it, there is not a doubt in my mind that they’ll regret it. submitted by /u/No-Cheesecake-3096 to r/RealEstate [link] [comments]