|
[FOR SALE] - Billie Eilish, Boys Like Girls, Dayglow, Half•Alive, K.Flay, Lady Gaga, The Maples, Mitski, Olivia Rodrigo, Paramore, Sidewalks And Skeletons…
Hello!!! Im selling 16 records in my collection. Just filtering out releases I bought in the past, and then realizing I don’t actually want. Mostly Pop, with few Alternative and Indie records. I do PayPal G&S! DM me with any questions and/or for photos! Shipping is $10 flat. Located in Los Angeles. US only Shipping. [Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?](https://www.discogs.com/release/13534577-Billie-Eilish-When-We-All-Fall-Asleep-Where-Do-We-Go?) - Target, Glow In The Dark - Unsealed, stored in Inner and Outer Sleeves. NM/NM $20 [Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever](https://www.discogs.com/release/19677331-Billie-Eilish-Happier-Than-Ever?) - Target, Pale Blue - Unsealed, stored in Inner and Outer Sleeves. With Poster. NM/NM $18 [Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard And Soft](https://www.discogs.com/release/30697537-Billie-Eilish-Hit-Me-Hard-And-Soft) - Webstore, Blue Eco-Mix - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $30 [Boys Like Girls - Boys Like Girls](https://www.discogs.com/release/28419172-Boys-Like-Girls-Boys-Like-Girls) - Clear with Red, Green, And White Splatter - Came unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeves. NM/NM $90 [Dayglow - Harmony House](https://www.discogs.com/release/24682505-Dayglow-2-Harmony-House) - Magnolia Record Club, Clear with Orange Splatter - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $18 [Dayglow - People In Motion](https://www.discogs.com/release/25670362-Dayglow-2-People-In-Motion) - Webstore, Clear with Yellow and Pink Splatter - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $25 [Half•Alive - Conditions of a Punk](https://www.discogs.com/release/26443346-halfalive-Conditions-Of-A-Punk) - Opaque Turquoise - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $25 [K.Flay - Don’t Judge A Song By Its Cover](https://www.discogs.com/release/19528396-KFlay-Dont-Judge-A-Song-By-Its-Cover) - Record Store Day 2021, Metallic Gold - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $25 [Lady Gaga - Mayhem](https://www.discogs.com/release/33352841-Lady-Gaga-Mayhem) - Webstore, Silver with Alternate Cover - Sealed. MInt/Mint $60 [Lady Gaga - Mayhem](https://www.discogs.com/release/33348674-Lady-Gaga-Mayhem) - US Webstore, 180g Black with Alternate Cover and Signed Insert - Sealed. Mint/Mint $100 [The Maples - Shunning Chamber](https://www.discogs.com/release/25122052-The-Maples-3-Shunning-Chamber) - Grey Solid Marble - Came unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeves. NM/NM $10 [The Maples - Shunning Chamber](https://www.discogs.com/release/25122052-The-Maples-3-Shunning-Chamber) - Clear Orchod with Pink Splatter - Came unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeves. NM/NM $10 [Mitski - Bury Me At Makeout Creek](https://www.discogs.com/release/32330070-Mitski-Bury-Me-At-Make-Out-Creek) - Vertigo Vinyl, 10 Year Anniversary, Black and White Marble - Sealed. Mint/Mint $80 [Olivia Rodrigo- Guts (Spilled)](https://www.discogs.com/release/31252708-Olivia-Rodrigo-Guts-Spilled) - Webstore, Red and Purple Splatter - Unsealed but brand new, never played, and stored in inner and outer sleeve. NM/NM $18 [Paramore - After Laughter](https://www.discogs.com/release/10717161-Paramore-After-Laughter) - 2017 pressing, Black and White Marble - Unsealed, only played twice, has been stored in inner and outer sleeves. NM/VG+ $20 [Sidewalks And Skeletons- White Light](https://www.discogs.com/release/31807181-Sidewalks-And-Skeletons-White-Light) - Vertigo Vinyl, Neon Pink Ghostly with Neon Violet Splatter - Sealed. Mint/Mint $150 submitted by /u/SassyPinkWhale to r/VinylCollectors [link] [comments]
|
r/VinylCollectors |
SassyPinkWhale |
May 23, 2026 |
|
Drake has a clear pattern of predatory behavior towards minors - here's proof
This is a long read. TL;DR: Drake is a creep with a clear pattern of predatory behavior towards many minors and I have the receipts to back it up. INTRODUCTION This is a comprehensive post regarding Drake's extremely questionable behavior regarding minors and young women in general. There's more than 70 links in this post to various sources and over 30.000 characters. If you want to repost, make a YouTube video, an article, a TikTok or Twitter thread then do it - I do not need credit, I do not care - I only want this information to be spread. This post will serve as an archive that people can refer back to or use as a source to back up their claims. Let me be clear - I do not like Drake. I've thought the guy was a creep ever since the Millie Bobby Brown video and I despise him - but I'll still try to remain as objective as possible here, you know my bias now though. This thread is partly based on this thread from 2022 Read this comment for edits I've made to the post. OVERVIEW This post is divided into sections: The 17 year old at a show Millie Bobby Brown Billie Eilish Kylie Jenner Hailey Baldwin (Now Bieber) Cydney Christine (Lil CC) Aaliyah Unconfirmed rumors Lyrics, references, tweets, pictures, ties (Dis)honorable mention Final Note THE 17 YEAR OLD AT A SHOW Drake is performing at a show in Ogden, Denver where he calls a girl up on stage. I really encourage you to watch this yourself, but since I know the majority of you won't watch it, I've described it for you below. Video starts with her on stage, he asks her name, where she is from, asks the crowd to welcome her to the stage and tells her she looks great. He then asks her to give him two seconds because "I gotta be ready for you". He wipes off his sweat with a towel and proceeds to take her hand, put it on his shoulder, his hand on her hip/back and they slow dance for a few seconds. He spins her around and stop her with her back facing him. This is when it starts to get.. really weird. Drake says "I told you I like your hair, right, what is it, like herbal essence or something?" while he's caressing her shoulder and smelling her hair. He says something I can't hear properly, puts the mic down and exposes her upper back and neck by pulling her shirt collar down. The crowd goes wild. He then starts kissing her shoulder and neck, putting her arms around her and fondle her breast. A few seconds later he picks up the mic again and says "you can't have me carried away again before I get in trouble - how old are you?" She responds "17". The crowd has a mixed reaction - Drake says something that is hard to make out, because of the crowd but when it's clear he says "I can't go to jail yet, man - 17? Why do you look like that? You thick - look at all this!" It's hard to make out exactly what he says afterwards because of the poor quality (2011 zoomed video at a concert, it's bad..), but he says something about it bringing them (the 17 year old and Drake) to a close and follows it up with "I got one question for you (...) I just want to know if (something about women in Colorado), I should just take one opportunity to take one home?" The girl nods "As a Colorado woman you'd enjoy that?" "Well, listen 17, I had fun - I don't know if I should feel guilty or not, but I had fun. I liked the way your breasts felt against my chest. I just want to thank you." He then puts the mic down again, grabs her hand and kisses it. You might think that was a little over the top, but he then immediately follows it up by putting his hand on her chin and kissing both of her cheeks, her forehead and then on her fucking lips. I think he asks her to walk off stage, it's hard to make out, but then he says "It's okay. I'm only 23, I can do shit like that. It's all good, you know what I'm saying" and the video ends. Addition: I know this girl has said she was not offended, violated, whatever you want to call it, but that's not the point. And I do not mean to sound like a complete dick, but it's not about her - it's about Drake and proving his pattern of behavior over many instances. If you stopped here because she denied it, you completely missed the point. Drake's age: 23 MILLIE BOBBY BROWN Now this video was what really made me do a double take on Drake. Now, there's one very important fact to establish here and that is that Millie Bobby Brown at the time of this interview (18. September 2018) is 14 (Born 19. February 2004). I'll quickly transcribe the interview here: Interviewer: What about your relationship with Drake, tell me about your friendship, how did this all come about? Millie Bobby Brown: I love him. I met him in Australia and he's honestly so fantastic and a great friend and a great role model. You know we text - we just texted each other the other day and he was like "I miss you so much" and I was like "I miss you more". He's coming to Atlanta, so I'm definitely gonna go and see him and I'm so excited. Interviewer 2: You and Drake? That's awesome. That's awesome.. Interviewer: What advice does he give you? What does he say? MMB: About boys he helps me, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah he's great. He's wonderful, I love him. Interviewer: What's his advice with boys? MMB: Ehm, you know.. That stays in the text messages. I'm sure it's obvious what is wrong here and I don't need to spell it out for any of you, but I do have one thing to add. If Drake is giving advice about boys and telling her "I miss you so much" they must have talked for a while. It's not something you say after knowing a person for a week. We are talking months at least. There's 7 months between her birthday and the interview - did Drake already start talking to her when she was 13? It would make sense that Drake was in Australia during their summer (Dec-Feb) for festivals/concerts/vacation. Millie has only commented on this once which was a few days later in a story on Instagram I don't want or mean to infantilize her, but she was 14. She would have no chance of knowing if Drake actually was grooming her. There's not a chance that she could understand the dynamic at play and why it's wrong at that age. Drake also defended their friendship on the song Another Late Night when he raps: Weirdos in my comments talkin' 'bout some Millie Bobby, look Bring them jokes up to the gang, we get to really flockin' Ironically enough that very same song is also connected to the next person Drake's age: 33 BILLIE EILISH The year after the Millie Bobby Brown controversy Drake gets caught texting a minor again and this time it's Billie Eilish. She does a yearly interview with Vanity Fair, and in the 2019 version she's asked who's her most famous contact in her phone. That's when she reveals she's been texting with Drake and that he's so very nice to her. Billie is at the time of the interview (released 25. November 2019) 17 (born 18. December 2001). Billie did defend Drake and their texting in an interview with Vogue ~3 months later: “The internet is such a stupid-ass mess right now,” says Eilish, who quit Twitter in 2018. “Everybody’s so sensitive. A grown man can’t be a fan of an artist? There are so many people that the internet should be more worried about. Like, you’re really going to say that Drake is creepy because he’s a fan of mine, and then you’re going to go vote for Trump? What the fuck is that shit?” On the song Another Late Night where Drake mentions Millie Bobby Brown, Lil Yachty is featured (one of Drake's gho.. co-writers) and he raps the line: I let her go, she fine as hell but baby wasn't stylish (Yeah) She had big tits like Billie Eilish but she couldn't sing (Drip) Now - I know this is not Drake, I just thought it was a 'funny' coincidence that these two women are connected through their shared experiences with Drake and this song. On another note some might say that Drake should have asked Yachty to omit this line if he really was a friend of Billie Eilish since she has been quite vocal about sexualization of herself and women in general. Drake's age: 34 BELLA HARRIS This one is pretty fucking bad in my opinion. Bella Harris is the daughter of Jimmy Jam who's a record producer, songwriter etc. and has been very successful. Through him she's been in and around the entertainment/music business her whole life and met Drake that way. There's an archive of photos posted here that contains the old IG posts she had with Drake. The first one was on May 5th, 2016 - Bella Harris is born 20. April, 2000. She had just turned 16 at the time. Objectively I think they are defendable since they are all music related - Rihanna concert, Summer Sixteen Tour (ironic name..) and the American Music Awards, but then two years later they reportedly start dating and that makes it really difficult to believe, especially with the last archived photo of them in 2018. Also the same photo that is referenced in this article talking about Drake renting an entire restaurant for an intimate dinner between them. Note that E! have confirmed it and are not backing down on their claim despite Harris denying it on Instagram. Her father liked this post on Instagram about the whole situation. It's not particular to the restaurant or previous potential dating it's more so a general declaration of support for Drake, but that includes the PDF-file allegations. Him supporting Drake made me search for more information, because I wanted to find whether or not he had spoken about it at the time. That led me to this article where her mother, Lisa, is being asked a few questions regarding Bella. I was surprised Jimmy Jam hasn't introduced Bella to Drake, Rihanna or anybody else in the music world she is interested in meeting. "No," said Lisa. "She loves Rihanna, she loves Beyoncé. [Bella has met Bey; her brother Max has met Ri-Ri.] She hasn't met Drake. Too old." Lisa Harris about a photo of Bella (included in the article) - Bella is 14, almost 15 at the time. I think Drake would behave himself around a child, even one dressed like this, to wit: Mom doesn't think this photo is too sexy, in all its legginess? "SHE'S WEARING A BATHING SUIT and a coat!" said Lisa. "Sexy? What? My point is it's a body business, so I don't look at it [that way]. It's a posed picture. She has a one-piece bathing suit on. It's artistic." Drake's age: 29-31 KYLIE JENNER Ever since the Kanye (also fuck Kanye for the record) vs. Drake beef we (or I at least) became aware of the fact that Drake has had a long relationship with the Kardashians/Jenners and known them for many, many years. In fact Drake performed at Kylie's sweet 16 back in 2013. You know what that Sweet 16 was specifically remembered for as well? Drake kissing Kylie on the cheek in front of everyone, including her then boyfriend Jaden Smith. That's not out of the ordinary and would be 'normal', if it wasn't for the clear pattern that is going on here, because guess what - 6 years later Drake and Kylie reportedly start dating, well.. dating/fucking/whatever you wanna call it. Admittedly this article is easily dismissed as paparazzi journalism and clickbait, but what if I told you that Drake has rapped this: Yeah, I’m a hater to society/Real shit, Kylie Jenner that’s a side piece/Yeah, I got 20 muthafuckas in’ Kylies. You probably wouldn't have heard it, since it was on an unreleased track played on an Instagram Live back in 2020, but it does make it seem pretty likely that he did actually hook up with her, especially considering the response Drake posted “A song that mark ran last night on night owl sound live set shouldn’t have been played,” he wrote, “It’s a song that leaked 3 years ago and got scrapped shortly after. He was just going too deep in the drake/future catalogue. Last thing I’d want to do is wake up having any friends of mine feeling disrespected so I just had to say that to start off the day.” Kylie was 22 at the time they reportedly hooked up. Drake's age at Kylie's Sweet 16: 26 Drake's age when they hooked up: 33 HAILEY BALDWIN (NOW BIEBER) In 2016 there were reports that Hailey and Drake were dating. Apparently they hooked up at a party that Drake hosted, where another attendee is also mentioned that seems oddly relevant: Drake and Hailey weren't the only ones getting close, with Kylie Jenner and rumoured new boyfriend PartyNextDoor were seen "making out" at the party. "It was almost like she was trying to make a statement," an insider added. Now again - there's nothing illegal in a 11 year age difference and dating a 19-year old as 30. It's weird, yes. But again we come back to the pattern. Why do Drake know Hailey? Through their similar friends and friend group (Kardashians/Jenners). How long has Drake known Hailey? Well, when Hailey was 19, she said they had known each other for a long time. We can actually get even closer with certainty since we know that Hailey attended Kylie's Sweet 16 in August, 2013. Hailey is born 22. November 1996, so she was also 16 at the time. So it's another girl that Drake has known since she was a minor and started dating when he got the opportunity. This is not normal. Another pattern that Drake also seem to follow is that likes to hook up with his friends girl. We know for a fact that he hooked up with Lil Wayne's girlfriend while he was in prison. He not only rap about it, but also admit it in an interview. It's not really hard to believe that he did the same with Bieber. Drake's age at Kylie's Sweet Sixteen: 26 Drake's age when they hooked up: 29 CYDNEY CHRISTINE (LIL CC) Cydney Christine is a beatmaker and model - she produced the Drake song Money In The Grave and in a Complex interview/roundtable she talks about it and Drake. Really the only artist I reached out to is Drake. I'd never met him, never spoke to him, I don't know why, but he has been following me for the past like 6 years. I don't know why.. This interview was uploaded 17. December 2019, Cydney Christine's is born 21. July, 1997, meaning she was 22 at the time of the interview and 15-16 when Drake started following her. This is somewhat innocent but strange since Drake is 27 at the time. That's not what is really weird though. In March 2023, Lil CC is on the No Jumper podcast and here she speaks about Drake and having her debut beat being a Drake single. Lil CC: I played basketball, right, so he really was a fan or not a fan, sorry, supported one of my teammates at the time um.. Adam 22: And this is when you are in high school? Lil CC: Yeah, in high school. So he was a fan of women's basketball - high school basketball - I was her teammate so he followed me because of her, and I was like "oh shit, bitch, you got Drake to follow me, like what the hell? Like that's so crazy". So he followed me and I lost it - I have to meet Drake, I love Drake, I've always loved Drake, still love Drake. There's more to the conversation, but the relevant part is here is that it's just very, very strange for Drake to be a women's high school basketball fan. They are 16 at the time. He's a supporter of a 16 year old female high school basketball player as a 27 year old grown adult man. He has not hooked up with her, dated or anything of the sorts that we know of or that she has told - for the record. Drake's age: ~27 AALIYAH It's not like I have whole section for this, but his obsession with Aaliyah is just another part of the pattern. I don't have a lot to contribute here, but if you don't know Aaliyah's story I'd recommend reading her Wikipedia and specifically the section about her personal life. If you think that 'obsession' is too strong a word for how much Drake admires her, I think you should take a look at this Complex article from 2018 and reconsider. UNCONFIRMED STORIES (I will continuously update it whenever I find or get sent new information to add here.) Back in 2021 Drake was being exposed on TikTok for his 'private Tinder' where one of his guys would go out and the hottest girls in town, interview them and find the one that Drake would like the best. “He finds the girls and then he interviews them, and out of all the girls he interviews, he picks the one that he thinks is the best,” she continued. “Then, he drives her to Drake’s place, Drake has sex with her, and then he drives her home. So, basically, Drake has his own private Tinder.” This girl explaining how her friend was invited by Drake's crew and she was brought along as a +1. No ID check, very young girls. Worth a watch: https://www.tiktok.com/@simonestrauss/video/7365696116085591304 This reddit post - yes I know this is 'so easy to just say', but I think the poster was very right by pointing this out: I'm sure you guys won't believe me, but this is the type of situation where someone vanishing and telling you is the best you'll get. This YouTube comment about a girl claiming to be a victim of trafficking in Toronto in 2015 and that Drake had ties in all these circles. This article from 2016, where Drake and his buddy get aggressive with an amateur photographer for taking pictures of Drake and two women. This isn't strange in and of itself, but then there's this post from 2018 From the article: The mystery women were dressed identically in matching white parkas, skinny tan pants, tan boots and ponytail hairstyles. From the post: Maybe this foreign born one named A+ list singer/rapper should have told the whole story about his split with a fellow foreign born A+ lister. How she caught him more than once with another woman and his fascination for watching porn involving women wearing pigtails. This post This foreign born A+ list singer/rapper asked for all kinds of photos from not only the 18 year old he is dating but at least two other 18 year old females and he didn't make sure they were 18 before he started asking. This post That teen, who was topless in the dressing room of this foreign born A+ list singer/rapper last night was nowhere in the ballpark of being legal. This one is fucking WEIRD - some guy was jerking off and noticed something. Now there's plenty of reasons as to why they would do this, it's porn and they need a story. But then there's this post from 2017: This one named foreign born A list rapper is going around telling porn stars he is starting his own porn company. It is just his excuse to have sex with them all and not pay. Drake This Twitter post/video of UK rapper Potter Payper calling out Drake for messaging 'bare young girls in England'. This entire thread is weird to say the least. More CDAN rumors as well. Read the thread, it's too much to paste and explain here. Drake paid out $350K to sexual assault accuser - Drake initially filed a lawsuit against Layla Lace/Laquana Morris for civil extortion, fraud, defamation, abuse of process and intentional infliction of emotional distress strongly implying he's innocent - but why pay someone $350.000 then? The former stripper and Instagram model wrote: "Drake forced me to perform oral on him. It wasn't your ordinary oral it was more so a fetish." She then describes how he told her to spit into a cup "until he had measured it." This comment about a model claiming Drake 'made girls puke in dog bowls for him'. Now that's a typical thing you can dismiss as a rumor, but the same guy commented 16 days ago and said this: If Kendrick mentions anything about dog bowls or birthday parties in Toronto, then shit is more serious than we thought This interview of Aya (Born 24. April 2007) (a 'dancer' in Ice Spice - Deli and probably known for other things I just don't know her) where she's asked about having sex with Drake. She said she can't speak on it because of 'court'. This Tweet of a guy talking about his experiences in high school and the hottest girls posting from Drake's mansion and being followed by him "every single time". The Instagram page of Exclusive Artists Agency is strange and related to Drake. A dude on TikTok went in-depth on it and this is creepy in more than one way. The woman who had a Twitter thread similar to this post that ended up deleting her account made an entire YouTube video out of it you can find here. LYRICS, REFERENCES, TWEETS, PICTURES, TIES (Again - Feel free to share with me and I'll add it.) On the song Nice For What Drake raps: You got a baby Benz, you got some bad friends High school pics, you was even bad then This Tweet "If amazing was a young bitch I'd be going to jail...cause I'm fucking amazing" - Me This image of Drake and Malone from Drake's Instagram that's been deleted now. Malone is infamous for impregnating a 13 year old when he was 20. On the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps: Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested Also on the song The Heart Part 6 Drake raps: Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager His connection to Baka Not Nice who Drake is very close with. In 2014, Baka was arrested and charged with forcing a 22-year-old woman into prostitution and taking her money. In 2015, he pleaded guilty to assaulting the woman and an unrelated weapons charge. Adel Nur who has very close business ties to Drake. He's executive producing the show Euphoria together with Drake and they co-own some shady companie(s). Another user went in-depth on their connection here. J Mulan who's an entrepreneur and close with Drake. This entire thread about her being a trafficker - and especially OP's comments are worth reading . DJ Eric who's the owner of Area 29, a strip club in Houston. Drake shouts him out in songs and is allegedly also trafficking for Drake. (DIS)HONORABLE MENTION I know people say Jorja Smith, and I do agree that dating a 19-year old as a 30-year old man is weird and rather pathetic, but every other girl mentioned is related to minors. Their relationship if you can call it that was for sure toxic, and it seems like Drake was a piece of shit abusing the power dynamic between them. This is taken from the Drizzy subreddit, but I can't provide the source since that gets the post blacklisted as it's temporarily banned because of brigading. In “Summer Games” Drake also says ”I kept it decent, even the secrets, kept it between you and I”. What secrets exactly? Well in Jaded, Drake says this woman “told him all her insecurities”. It’s also interesting that the song “Summer Games” is about a woman who broke up with Drake right at the beginning of the summer. Drake and Jorja were dating in April of 2017 which is right before the summer starts and only lasted a couple weeks. But that's all there is to it. I can't dig up anything else, so unless someone have something credible with sources, I don't think there's good enough reason to add her to the list further up. FINAL NOTE I know there's very real questions about the reliability of CDAN and that he was exposed, but in the very same article The Daily Beast refers back to one of their old articles on the subject which definitely confirms that he had/have industry ties and do know a lot. Another reddit user dove further in and made some compelling arguments, but remember to take it with a (big) grain of salt. If you have anything to add, please post it in the comments and if credible/sourced I'll put it in the post. If I got anything wrong please correct me and I'll edit it. If you have sources that contradict anything in the post, please also share them with me and I'll include them. Please share this anywhere you want. I don't care about credit. If any media outlets wants to use it for their article or whatever, please do - feel free. You do not need to ask permission. submitted by /u/DyingOnHills to r/popculturechat [link] [comments]
|
r/popculturechat |
DyingOnHills |
May 9, 2024 |
|
New Update 9 months later: My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame.
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Wifestolethemoney. He posted in r/TrueOffMyChest. The first parts of this post were made into a BORU by u/prettiergenghis. You can find that here. I changed a few formatting things and added relevant comments to the original posts. The new update is marked with *******. Mood Spoiler: happy ending Original Post: December 13, 2022 Title: My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what to do. And the problem is, I can’t discuss this with anyone I’m close with for privacy reasons. I’ve been with my wife Andrea[48f] and my stepdaughter Cassie[17f] for 8 years now. I love them both to death, but Cassie is a very brilliant young woman. Recognizing her potential, me and Andrea decided to put together a college fund for Cassie so she wouldn’t be crushed by debt. Over the years, it has amounted to over $200,000. Cassie is aware of this and is banking on it since she’s trying to get into the Ivy League. To make a long story short, last week, I found out that almost $170,000 dollars of the money was missing from the account. I freaked the fuck out and asked Andrea if she knew anything about it. She teared up and said that she had been spending the money over the years to fund her spending habit. I was furious, but I had a moment of clarity. I’ve browsed these subs enough to know that an affair was possible so I asked her if she was having one. She adamantly denied it and offered any proof I needed. Social media accounts, emails, her work phone, everything. She offered to show me the receipts as well. There was nothing that popped out as suspicious, and the math from the receipts added up as well so I let it go. But we still had the major problem of the money being gone. She described herself as a shopping addict, and the money from Cassie’s account was just too tempting not to use. She didn’t make excuses, but offered no solutions. As stated before, I was beyond furious. She ruined Cassie’s chances at going to college debt free and has changed the trajectory of her whole life. I had asked her to stay with her sister while I tried to figure this out. Cassie was concerned about why she was leaving, but we just said we needed a little bit of space. I asked Andrea to come back home yesterday and we had an extremely long discussion about how to handle this. She stopped me from talking and asked a favor of me. She asked if I could take a the fall for her. For context her and Cassie don’t get along for a variety of reasons, and knowing how independent Cassie is, she will probably leave right after college if not during. In fact, me and Cassie get along very well and she comes to me for a lot of her issues. Andrea fears this will permanently drive Cassie away and she doesn’t want to lose her. I told her that before we even talk about that, she needed to acknowledge her mistake and own it. She needed to go to individual therapy, we needed couples counseling, she needed to find a shopaholic support group and that I would be controlling the finances from now on. She said those terms were steep but fair. I said she needed to tell Cassie what she did, apologize and hope for the best. She refused and said she could never lose Cassie. She said I could survive the mistake, but she couldn’t. I told her that in order to even consider me taking the fall, she needs to agree to my terms. I don’t know what the hell to do. The last thing I want to do is lie to Cassie, but I don’t want Andrea and Cassie to split up forever. And the worst part about this whole thing is that Cassie’s life is ruined either way. And I don’t know how to replenish the money other than maybe borrowing from my 401k. Reddit do you have any suggestions? Divorce is always an option, but I love Andrea despite her mistakes, and me dating at age 52 is next to impossible. Edit: After everyone in here knocked some sense into me, I realized I can't lie to Cassie, I love her too much and she deserves the absolute truth, no matter how ugly and hard it is. I will be talking to Andrea and telling her that we need to tell her the truth together as a condition of us staying together, or else I will initiate divorce proceedings and tell Cassie anyway. Also, as someone suggested, I don't need her trying to flip the script on me so I'll record our interactions going forward. Thanks. Edit 2 (Same Post): December 14, 2022 (Next Day) I want to thank everyone here for really opening my eyes yesterday. You're all right, I need to put Cassie first and like I said, I'll be telling the absolute truth, even if she gets mad at me and disowns me at least I'll know I did the right thing. In addition, I'm going to pay for her college myself. I can pull money from a couple of places such as my retirement and inheritance so it'll be okay. If I have to live a little frugally during retirement and work a few extra years then so be it, Cassie is worth it. I honestly doubt her mother is going to sell her stuff so that's why I'm taking this route. As for Andrea, I've been criticized for wanting to let Andrea off the hook so to speak, but it's easy to say when really deep feelings aren't involved. That being said, I don't think I can stay with her, what she did is horrendous and she ruined our daughter's future for her addiction. We had a long discussion late last night and I threatened divorce unless she told Cassie the truth. She begged me not to do this, but I put my foot down, and eventually, she agreed, but only if I agreed not to divorce and I helped to repair their relationship. I likely won't be doing either, she made her bed so she can sleep in it. So if I have to update, I'll probably just make a whole new post, thanks a lot guys. Relevant Comments: How could you not have noticed? Weren't you getting a 1099 and noticing less interest? "To answer your question, I had really nothing to do with the account other than contributing money. I just took her word for it. She showed me statements from time to time so I had no reason to suspect anything. Plus we have separate finances, except for a joint account for household expenditures and bills. Although Cassie is my daughter, officially I'm only stepdad, so Andrea handles all matters related to her finances unless Cassie asks me for something directly. Also I wasn't the lone contributor, her grandparents on both sides contributed, as well as my own parents. I only discovered what was going on when my wife left a statement out in the open. I'm now believing she simply pocketed whatever money she got and doctored the statements. I knew the amount that was supposed to be there because a lot of the money came in the beginning. Her grandparents initially contributed $75,000, mine contributed another $30,000 and the amount that I added over the years." Don't take from your savings to pay Cassie back- take from your wife's: "I asked her to take money from her account to pay her back, she said protecting her retirement is important to her and that she could take out a loan since her credit is excellent. Surprisingly enough, she doesn't run up her credit cards, now I know how. Also I'm hesitant to do this, I understand everyone wants her to fry for this, and I do too. However, if I'm to stay with Andrea, I don't want her to have to continue working until she's dead, I would like to enjoy our retirement together. My retirement is very healthy, plus I have a few investments and an inheritance, I could survive the hit. The most important thing is Cassie gets to go to whatever school it is she wants and not have to worry about it. The comments are right, I'm not letting Andrea off the hook, she's going to pay for this and she will be telling Cassie." Why Andrea and Cassie don't get along: "Andrea is a widow, and Cassie took the death of her father very hard since she was so young. According to Andrea a lot of their problems started there out of grief and anger. Then Cassie grew up and she's developed into a bit of tomboy, Andrea is a kind of a "girly girl" and doesn't relate to Cassie dressing up tomboyish. They don't agree on much, Cassie wants to be an physicist, Andrea wants her to do something that has more money making potential. Plus there's usual teenage daughter and mother strife. They have screaming matches that I have to intervene in." Update (17 Dec 22) Update: My wife stole our daughter's college money to fund her shopping addiction and wants me to take the blame I want to start this by thanking everyone who replied to me in the original post. You all showed me tough love and I appreciate that. I even appreciate those who were calling me a doormat, because like I said in the previous post, it woke me up. I won’t be staying with Andrea. She’s lied and manipulated me and Cassie for far too long for me to stay with her. The fact that she stole from me, Cassie and Cassie’s grandparents makes this as close to unforgivable as it gets. The most wronged party here is Cassie, she has an amazing future ahead of her and I refuse to let her future go to waste because my wife made such selfish choices. Also I’d like to take the time to answer some common questions, some of which I answered in the original post but I’ll post again here so everyone can see it. Over half the money in the account came from Cassie’s grandparents, aka Andrea’s parents, Cassie’s bio dad’s parents, and my parents whom she also calls grandparents. This money came in the beginning, which is why I knew how much was supposed to be in there. I never handled the account. Although I claim Cassie as my daughter, she is only my stepdaughter officially. As such, her mother handles all financial matters related to her. I simply gave her money to put in the account, and she showed me(probably doctored) statements. My belief is that she pocketed the cash whenever I gave her money. I did notice all the stuff she was buying. She claimed that they were either on sale or because she got a work bonus. She makes a very good living, and I thought was responsible with money so I said alright. I did ask her why she needed so many Christian Louboutin shoes, she shrugged it off. And although people can’t wrap their heads around it, it’s VERY easy to spend $170,000. A large chunk of the money went to buy a Mercedes, which I thought was a lease. She had a 7 year old Lexus that according to her, her friends were “laughing at”. Keeping up appearances for her wealthy friends is very important to her. Cassie and Andrea do not get along for a variety of reasons. Allegedly Cassie takes a lot after her deceased father and Andrea can’t relate to her at all, or maybe doesn’t try hard enough. Cassie much prefers me to talk to. We have parent/child boundaries, but Cassie considers me one of her best friends(her words, not mine). I realized taking the fall was her manipulating me, plus it would have opened me up to a crap ton of consequences that I don’t need to deal with. Plus honesty is always the best policy. I wasn’t thinking properly in my last post, and was afraid to be alone and single. I guess I have some issues being alone that I need to address. Plus I really do love Andrea, we connect in a very deep way, but I’m still divorcing her. Oddly enough a comment that senior homes have chlamydia outbreaks for me laughing and made me realize that I could date again at this age. Plus you guys gave me some very nice compliments, so thank you for those. After my final update on the original post, I talked to Andrea deep into the night. She went back and forth with me on admitting to Cassie what she did. She said that she or even both of us could get loans and take care of the money then. I said she had a problem and she needed to make amends, which was a talking point from here. When I threatened her with divorce she agreed to tell her so long as I don’t divorce her, I guess she’s afraid of losing everything. That afternoon we sat Cassie down and told her the facts. She thought we were just kidding at first, but when she realized weren’t kidding she got extremely upset. I’ll spare you the details, but she and Andrea got into an extremely loud and vicious shouting match. Cassie called her some truly awful names and Andrea, while she didn’t curse at her, tried to defend herself but started getting angry at the names she was being called. They were so loud, the neighbors called the police, I had to awkwardly explain the situation to them while hoping they didn’t think I was some kind of wife beater. Cassie told Andrea that she never wanted to speak to her again, and that she never wanted a dime of her money and stormed off. I asked Andrea at this point to stay with her sister indefinitely while we give Cassie and me some space. She didn’t want to go, she fought me to stay, but I told her me and Cassie needed time apart from her. So she packed her stuff and went to her sister’s house. As for Cassie, she went to her room and locked the door. She let me in after I told her that her mother had left. She cried in my arms and expressed that her future was now ruined. I told her it wasn’t, that I would cover her college from my retirement, and that I would make it right. She doesn’t exactly know what a 401k is yet, but she told me that she doesn’t want me to work until I’m 90 like the people at Walmart just because of her. I just told her she’s worth it, and that you do stupid things for the people you love. She said that she would start looking for scholarships and maybe other schools where she could get a full ride since she has excellent grades and extra curriculars. I then admitted Andrea wanted me to take the fall for her and that I had considered it, but I came to my senses. She got upset with me and told me that would have been the stupidest thing I could have done. She said she wouldn’t have believed I did it anyway, and it only would have made her more upset at her mother. She told me that she doesn’t blame me and that she’s not mad at me for the money being gone, but she is mad that I’d want to cover for her mother. I apologized for that. We talked and cuddled for while longer before calling it a night. The next morning I get a call from Andrea’s parents asking if the story was true. Cassie had told them the story and they were calling to confirm, I had the voice recordings and bank statement to prove it. They were livid, but begged me not to leave Andrea for this, an to try and help her through her addiction. I told them I wasn’t sure about that yet and hung up. A while later my parents called and asked me about it, I confirmed. They were probably more mad than Cassie was all things considered, they’re threatening to press charges. I told them to calm down and that I would handle it. Cassie is doing okay, she’s still a little shell shocked, but she seems to be taking it as well as one could hope for. I made her pancakes this morning and that seemed to brighten her mood a bit. I asked her if she wants to do therapy, she said she’ll think about it. I will be doing therapy for myself. Andrea has been calling to talk, but I’m just letting it ring, so she’s leaving voicemail. She’s offering anything to make it right: money, sex, favors, you name it. But it’s not going to work. I feel horrible for Cassie, and especially so close to Christmas. I think in going to get her Billie Eilish tickets since that’s her god. It won’t make up for it at all, but it could go along way to helping her feel better. So that’s it for now, I guess I’ll update if anything further happens, but I think this is pretty much it. Thanks all, you’ve been a tremendous help. Edit: I forgot to add, I watch my credit like a hawk so there was nothing suspicious there, but it's going to locked. I'll be going to my accountant next week to have Andrea removed from everything meaningful. Life insurance, will, bank accounts, etc.... And I'll be adding Cassie. I've started changing passwords and the like so Andrea doesn't have access. I'm stringing Andrea along with non-divorce until my accounts are secure. Also from what I can tell, Cassie's credit is okay. But I'll be doing a deep scan and locking that as well. Edit 2: Fixed a line where I mixed up the names Edit 3: I can't believe I have to say this, but there's a few people saying it's "creepy" that I'm cuddling with my daughter. If sitting together with her crying on my shoulder and us talking is considered creepy then sure, I'm creepy. Leave it to the internet to make things weird I guess. And no I don't think I'm some hero. I'm just trying to do the right thing. Relevant Comments: Splitting things in the divorce: "We have a prenup since she has money as well so no fears there. We have separate finances and the only major asset we have is the house. I'm willing to buy out her half so I can own it fully." Don't cash in your retirement- make Andrea sell her stuff: "Sorry, forgot to put it in the post. She doesn't want to sell her stuff and is just offering to get a loan." She shouldn't get a choice to not sell. You are letting this woman ruin your future- why is this worth it? "The answer is Cassie. She's smart, wise beyond her years in some regards, but still a teenager in many others. She's very proud and refused her mother's money. I asked her if she wanted the car, she said no. Asked if she would be okay with her mother paying her back, she said no. Like I said in the post, she wants nothing to do with her mother anymore and that includes her money. That's probably just anger talking and I'm hoping cooler heads will prevail. But I think there's a part of her that's embracing the challenge of figuring this out on her own, or at least without her mother's money. As for me, if Andrea wants all that stuff so bad that she's choosing it over us, she can have it. We'll be great without her. So in a way she is paying for all that stuff, in the most precious way, with her marriage and most importantly her child." You're letting her walk all over you: "Maybe I'm wrong here, but I don't view it as her "walking all over me". She's lost her marriage, her daughter, her family is furious with her, and her friends will likely drop her when they hear what she's done, and realize she's not as wealthy as she appears to be. To me, that seems like real consequences. I'm a big fan of the Twilight Zone, and this seems like one of those endings where the person gets what they want, but doesn't realize what they had to give up to get it. She can have her possessions, it just cost her everything to get it. To quote Jake the Snake Roberts she's "a victim of her own greed, wallowing in the muck of her own avarice". Plus she'll likely end up getting sued by my parents anyway. And if Cassie decides she wants her money, then I'll support her fully in getting it. My retirement will be fine, let's just say my portfolio is very diverse and healthy. Plus I have an inheritance. I'm not bragging, just stating facts. Plus there is the chance Cassie gets a scholarship or assistance." *****New Update Post: September 6, 2023 (8.5 months later)****\* Hello everyone, It’s been a long time since I’ve been here, a lot has happened and truth be told I haven’t had the time to post an update here, but I finally have a quiet moment to give you an update. First, I want to thank everyone here for helping me at such a pivotal time in my life. After re-reading my original threads, I can’t believe how indecisive and weak I came off in them. The prospect of my marriage ending and dying alone really kind of shook me to my core, and thus made me come off that way. I started therapy and it made me realize that being single wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me, in fact I’ve turned my loneliness into solitude and have taken the time to work on myself. And if that last sentence didn’t tip you off, then let me be the first to tell you that I’m single now. Me and Andrea are legally separated and currently in divorce mediation. Unfortunately Andrea is still very much in denial and is trying everything she can to get me back, including delaying the divorce as much as possible so that we can work on our marriage. She claims that she’s begun seeing a therapist who’s helped her see the problem she has and has gotten her on the path to recovery. I don’t know if I buy it, but I told her it’s a good thing if it’s true. She has also apologized to my parents, hers and her late husband’s parents for what she’s done and offered to pay back the money, they’ve all forgiven her, but are keeping her at an arms length. She’s been desperate to reconnect with Cassie, but Cassie has kept her word and decided to never speak to her mother again, or at least until she’s ready to. Andreas wealthy friends she was so desperate to impress have been around our house offering their help. They may be nosy busy bodies, but they were very nice to me and Cassie in the immediate aftermath of Andrea’s betrayal. They offered everything from a shoulder to cry on, to baked goods to spa dates. I only ever really took them up on the baked goods because I will never turn down homemade lemon bars and oatmeal raisin cookies. Cassie did take them up on spa dates, so there’s that. One woman in particular, Susan has been around more often than the others. While I feel like the other friends were prying for information, she seemed more genuine and just there to help me and Cassie heal. She cooked meals for us, helped around the house and just spent a lot of quality time with me in particular. We didn’t ask, want or need her to do any of this for us, but she did it out of the kindness of her heart and I really appreciate it. We’ve gotten a lot closer in such a short time, and I truly consider her a friend. It’s actually amazing I could get along with someone who’s so much younger than me(14 years) usually I have a hard time connecting with younger people, even if they’re adults. But now we get to the most important part of this update: Cassie. As a cheer up Christmas gift I took her and one of her friends to Montreal last month to see her favorite artist Billie Eilish at this festival. She loved it, and Montreal is such a beautiful city to visit. All in all, she took the loss of her college fund pretty well. Cassie is a very hard working person, and she put her nose to the grindstone trying to find a scholarship. Unfortunately she missed the cutoff for most of the scholarships she could have qualified for, but the school of her choice is giving her a very generous financial aid package. In addition, she qualified for some local grants so she got her entire first year covered. And yes, Cassie did thankfully get into her school of choice, in fact she had many acceptance letters and full ride offers but she had her heart set on her school of choice. In fact, I dropped her off last week I’m extremely proud of her and I know she’ll do well. I’m an empty nester now all alone in this big house, and the silence is deafening, but Susan has been around to keep me company and I’ve taken up bike riding as a hobby. So all in all, things are okay, not great, but certainly better than before. And with that, I think I can put this saga to bed, the divorce will hopefully be finalized in the next few months and I can finally move on with my life. But the most important thing is that Cassie is fulfilling her dreams and potential and I couldn’t be happier about that. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
|
r/BestofRedditorUpdates |
LucyAriaRose |
Nov 26, 2023 |
United States