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Not Previously Posted New Updates: My husband has ruined both our lives by asking me to double up his lunch serving for work.
I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is Empty_Researcher_348. She posted in r/TrueOffMyChest, r/legaladvice and her own page. Previous BORU here. New updates to the sub marked with ****\*. Thanks to u/Dazzling_Past1141 who commented on the OG BORU to remind me to check for updates! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. This is a fairly long post. Trigger Warning: std; infidelity; harassment; stalking; vandalism; Mood Spoiler: sad and frustrating; OOP will be ok Original Post: October 23, 2023 (deleted by mods of TOMC, preserved on OOP's page) My husband has ruined both our lives by asking me to double up his lunch serving for work. I’m on a throw away because I still haven’t fully decided on divorce but I’m 95% sure on it. Me f26 and My husband m25 and I have been married for almost two years and have a 6month old baby. I work part time only to supplement our income and to pay for the legal process of getting him documented. We are very fortunate that it seems it may be an easy process of maybe 2 years max for his residency but now I’m going to cancel everything and ask for a divorce. My routine used to be I wake up 1.5hours before him in the morning and make him lunch and pack everything for him for work and have his breakfast coffee and clothes ready for him to wake up, eat get dressed and head out with in 30mins. He used to be satisfied with what I packed him of freshly made chicken in either honey buffalo, lemon pepper and salad or some sort of chicken wraps ect. Pure healthy food. I did this because I wanted to make his life easier and show him I cared and love him and I’ve done this since we first moved in together more then 3 years ago. Well recently I’ve had to start including dinner leftovers because he started asking for more food that he was still hungry afterwords, which I thought it was odd because no matter if I work or not he always comes homes to prepared food so even if he wasn’t full he would be okay. But I explained it off with maybe he’s bulking or something. So I started including what I normally take to work which has caused me to either go without lunch and having to wait til after work or be late for work because I have to wait till the food is ready and take some because I’m breastfeeding and can’t miss eating every time(I’ll leave food going such as in a crockpot or low heat depending how long after I leave he gets home) Well last week when I was packing his lunch I found a unrecognized second fork in his lunchbox and was thrown off so I asked and he said he found it in the kitchen of his work and brought it home. (Odd why didn’t he just leave it?) I had noticed small changes in him that I gaslighted myself into I’m being insecure because I just had a baby but this made the pit of my stomach churn. So a few days later I decided to go to his work during lunch to “surprise him” with dessert 🍮 and for him to see the baby. Well that was when I found out why he wanted more food. His coworker he told me no longer worked there, who I’d caught him talking too friendly to and I told him it bothered me and I had him remove from everything and block on whatsapp not only still worked there but was eating the lunch I freshly prepared for HIM and he was eating the leftovers. I didn’t cause a scene instead took pictures and added to my folder of everything he’s done before from simple hearting other girls stories after telling me he didn’t to naked pictures of a coworker from a previous job he got fired from because of her. I drove home crying to packed my things when I got home I took the bassinet and anything I’d need for the baby and my essentials and went to my sisters and BILs and told them everything and even showed him our conversations from WhatsApp where he told me she no longer worked there. I normally text him through the day so he started texting me and calling me to see if I was okay and what was for dinner? He was almost off is everything okay? And then he got to the house a hour earlier than usual (which also has me question if he’s been lying about what time he gets off too) and saw mine and the babies things gone. And my letter that he had 7 days to leave my house (my mom gave it to me when I was 20) and that he can communicate with my mother to see the baby when I’m at work or whenever he wants to see her just let her know and I’ll drop off the baby with her. I for the time being don’t want anything to do with him. And I left the printed fotos of them eating lunch laughing together under the letter. Later that night when I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with him I informed the lawyer (we had a group WhatsApp chat with me him, the lawyer, paralegal and my BIL (our cosponser)) that I no longer was going to need his services. And then messaged the lawyer privately to ask if I could maybe move our contract and the money I’ve paid so far over to his divorce and family practice. He said unfortunately no there’s some clause or something that if we decide to no longer pursue the case we lose the money we’ve invested and also that his immigration practice is a partnership with different people then his family one. But he will just leave our case open till we get a response for our next appointment from the government and if we haven’t worked things out by then, then he will cancel everything. Well this cause him to go insane because now if he doesn’t get papers he has to choose between his daughter and parents. To either risk never seeing his parents and family again or never seeing his daughter again if he goes over there. He’s begging me to the point I blocked him on everything, he’s came to my BIL house and been told to leave or we are calling police then he later came back drunk with his buddies who then were all scared off by my BIL and his shotgun. I feel so lost, broken and depressed. I also have security at work to make sure he doesn’t show up at my office. My sister tells me to leave him but not to divorce so he can never get with anyone else and get papers but I can’t do that to him. Ive gone back home (only to check on the house and see if he’s gone im still staying with my sister) and surprisingly there’s no damage to anything and his things (only) are gone. So at least I feel a little relief in that. I’m not looking for advice I know I’m not going back, there is no longer any trust, my mental health wouldn’t be safe in that relationship, and I know I can’t have my daughter grow up with that kind of relationship being an example. I just needed to put this out there in order for it to solidify in my brain and to be able to reflect that this is now a pattern and he’s gone beyond disrespecting me by now also making me make HER food. I’ve been budgeting trying to make things last, sometimes eating less then I want to or skipping meals if possible (if a meal was heavier of carbs I’d skip since I should have enough for my milk supply) all to be able to pay bills, lawyer his gym membership and supplements. I lose out on rest and sleep because I ensure laundry and the house is kept spotless while the baby sleeps. I’ve basically gone from an independent educated career woman to a 1950s house wife with a job and school, all because I blindly fell for this man. When I say I feel stupid that’s an understatement. Anyhow TLDR: my husband had me (his breastfeeding wife) skipping meals and going out of my way to make him an extra lunch for his side chick at work. And now I have the house cars and he’s lost his nuclear family and ability to get a green card to be able to stay in the states and/or see his family in Mexico ever again. Edit: My phone seems to post it without paragraphs no matter what I do but I promise i tried to format it even though I was an emotional mess. This time I double spaced the paragraphs to see if that helps idk if it’s my phone or what. Some things I want to clarify I’ve been seeing in the comments. No my sister isn’t pushing me to stay in a relationship with him, she’s telling me not to divorce him so that he can’t just go find another woman to marry and use for the green card. No im not taking anything from him that wasn’t mine before we got married. Before me he lived in a house with 7other men sharing a bedroom with a bunk bed, and he drove a 2000 Buick he had to unplug from the battery in order to use it again. That car got scrapped after the electrical when out. The car he is using is my car I got in high school that got me through high school part time /seasonal jobs and community college. Also my mom isn’t dead, she gave me my childhood home because I was going to college and it’s 10minute commute from the college. She gave it to me because I’m the last of the kids all my brothers and sisters are at least 10 years older and aside from my sister who’s helping me, they all live in different states. He left home with a motorcycle his customizing, his gaming systems, clothes and the guest bedroom tv which was the only tv that was not mounted. Also I’m not keeping his daughter from him. I just personally don’t want to see him because I know he will try to give me a ton of excuses and try to make me “understand” him. He can speak to my sister or mom and they will supervise him to see his daughter whenever he wants to. There is no battle in that. I don’t think he’s a bad father but I just don’t think my relationship with him is the example I want to give my daughter. Yes, I am Mexican too, my dad came to the states and then later brought my mom and 2 brothers 2 sisters. Took a decade to see each other again which is why I’m so apart from my siblings and the only one born here. Relevant Comments: Their relationship I’ve been told by my sister to inform everyone that this was my first actual long term relationship. She says that may give people a clue as too why I was so naive. It was also very early in the relationship and we weren’t living together yet. I met him when I was traveling around to local jobs where it was known immigrants worked to post and inform them of local resources to help them with medical insurance, free clinics and ESL programs for children and adults. I was working for a seasonal daycare program for agriculture workers. How are you going without food if you both work and own your own home? He makes below minimum wage due to undocumentation, I work part time minimum wage because I can’t be away from the baby due to breastfeeding. He also sends money to provide for his parents and younger siblings Why did putting more food in his lunch cause budgeting issues? Yes, I was budgeting in order to be able to save money for the lawyer expenses but now that I look back it was basically him paying bills and pocketing the left over for gym and supplements plus tools/paints and whatever while my paycheck was going to groceries, his family in Mexico and diapers. And yes, I feel really stupid, naive and blind What would get you more child support- him getting a green card and permanent job here or not? Basically when should you divorce? This may be the numbness in me talking at the moment but I don’t need his money he can contribute by buying her diapers clothes and whatever necessities. Now that I’m not catering to him I can leave my part time paper pushing job and find a good daycare for my daughter go back to teaching. I might also just sell my second car and lower my car payment. Full time job and one less person in my home also means lower utilities since it’s less utilities being used at home. No mortgage, no stupid expenses on random gym crap/ $40 membership, just protein creatines and supplements was at least $150 a month not to mention whatever he was doing to that junk motorcycle. My sister and mom have talked me through finances and my BIL said I could honestly keep my part time job get on government benefits and spend more time with my daughter but I think mentally I need to go back to teaching, and feel the independence of being self reliant again. Food stamps feels like it’s just one thing he will throw in my face. Idk if I’m trying to hold on to what little bit of pride I have left or it’s just the anger I have inside that I wanna show him and his chick I am better without him. To another commenter: If I continue with the process I’ll be legally and financially responsible for him for years to come. Supervised visits is due to him never being more the. 3 hours (aka one bottle fed) alone with the baby. Also the fear of him taking my child to another country now that he’s loss everything here and he may just decide to go to Mexico a place where he can’t come back unless he risks his life again, is very real." The other woman: Idk she doesn’t have anything to offer she doesn’t have a legal status either because she overstayed her visa to my understanding from a coworker of his I went to school with. According to her that woman is younger, no legal status or education, no English and she’s already gotten in trouble for being inappropriate in the work place before and if there is proof that they are being inappropriate that will be a strike against him and firing against her. Apparently she likes to call herself “one of the guys” because she’s a woman who works in a male dominated job and degrades women making jokes with the men. Update Post: November 9, 2023 (almost 3 weeks later) Sorry it’s been a while since I updated anyone, I’ve been busy sorting out my life and this was supposed to be a throwaway so I didn’t expect it to blow the way it did much less anyone to actually want updates. -I guess I’ll start with the most asked question which was if I left him? Yes, I also got a full check up and I indeed had an infection I was lucky I could treat and be good without any further issues. This also confirmed his unfaithfulness because as I mentioned I had a baby not long ago and during the whole pregnancy they checked me for everything and they had done a full panel when I was 3months postpartum because I got a UTI and my doctor wanted to ensure it was only that. -Did I talk to him to get his side of the story? Yes, when I went to tell him about the infection I allowed him to speak his mind about everything I only asked him for the truth as there wasn’t anything else for him to ruin, it was completely over at this point. And here’s a basic tldr: • He never meant to hurt me, he loves his daughter and me •he enjoyed the attention it was something new and exciting •it took his mind off the stress of bills, kid, my “emotional” state and the general routine his life •life had gotten boring and she entertained him (I’m sorry that your wife organized your previously chaotic life) That’s about what I believed to be true out of the couple of hours of begging, excuses, gaslighting, and even blaming. The rest was: •The infection is a common one that happens because of cow 💩 everywhere and because he goes out and pees outside without washing his hands or something 🙄 •She doesn’t like men she was just one of the guys (cmon really??) •I only gave her lunch that day! It was just the one time that she forgot her lunch and she asked me because she saw I had two lunches 🙄 •He would never stand so low to break his family why would I make such assumptions (oh so you knew what you were doing) Once I showed him my MyChart with my results and explained how it’s not a normal infection like ecoli that you can get because of poop and it was an actual transmissible infection. I also explained that I hadn’t slept with anyone since we met! And how my doctor explained that if I would have had any kind of transmissible diseases I would have known during my pregnancy because not only is it common practice to test for all risks but my high risk pregnancy and preterm labor she tested for all kinds of things to see if she could find the cause of issues and afterword to find the cause of preterm labor. He admitted it shortly after that he listened to me and saw my drs note (I’ll add I have the best obgyn and she was amazing in listening to me and allowing me to cry and gave me not only support during that moment with even having a nurse take my daughter out for me to cry but also printed me information and ensured me that a simple medicine will make it all go away and I should not see any more issues) Anyhow He’s staying at the dairy at some trailer the owner let him borrow and for those who thought she would take him in turns out she’s engaged and she is about to start her wedding and do a adjustment of status (get her papers) Anyways I’m back to living on my own, my baby is doing great, I have another office job lined up for January, and I have a few universities I’ve applied to, I’m currently going to community college online but if I get into a uni I think I’ll move out of this town, my grandma said she would move with me to help me. Some days are long like today it’s late at night and I can’t sleep because I miss him. But I’ve been entertaining myself getting rid of stuff in my home to start a new slate and organize everything. I won’t lie and say I’m doing great. On my days off I don’t get out of bed. My house is clean but my bedroom has my laundry basket over full and I brought out the guest blankets and pillows to use. People at work have noticed a slowed pace in my work and I was offered time off but I denied it. Although now that somehow the rumor of what happened has reach my job I may take it. Thank you for all the support everyone. Although I had a few people call me names and talk badly to me in my messages, I appreciate the other people who commented nice things and showed me support. ………………………. Edit for update: Woke up to husbands call, he apologized again. I’m Still not budging, but he told me he was talking to some guys at work about free clinics or where they go when their sick and turns out that same woman has been sleeping with a few from there. Idk if around the same time but one of them told my husband where to get treated for free because he got it from her too. In his apology which sounded more sincere this time but I believe it’s worse because it’s only after he realized he wasn’t special to her just another one of the guys she slept with. But I say sincere because he didn’t have many excuses instead he seemed to hold himself accountable by saying he had won the lottery and messed up. He begged for a second chance because he doesn’t know what came over him. He says he hates coming home to an empty trailer he misses seeing his daughter the moment after work. What choked me up was when he said he used to feel more exhausted when he used to come home to us because the baby would be excited to see him and would cry to be held by him, and during the week I would often leave the same easy meals made for him so he could eat while I left to work and he started to feel tired of it. It was a boring routine of same foods during the week. Coming home and having to watch the baby so I could go to work. That solidified to me that I don’t ever want to find another relationship much less go back to him. The routine I worked hard to put my family together, was a chore to him. I literally dealt with a fussy tired child til he got home so she would mostly sleep and he would only need a single bottle for her but even that was too hard. He said he would give up the world just to be back into his routine because now he comes home to an empty trailer where it’s just a bed and a fold out table. He hasn’t eaten his diet because he doesn’t have time to prep. He started spending money on lunch because he doesn’t have food made for him. He says he misses the baby so much that he now cries when he goes home. I told him idk what to tell him about that, but if wanted to see the baby when I go to work he can go see her at my moms who now’s babysits for me. Knowing my mom she makes food and she would never deny him food so he can go over there and eat and be with the baby after work. But I had to go I couldn’t talked anymore. When I tell yall I’ve never cried so hard in my life, it’s an understatement. It doesn’t help it’s raining today. I think I’m calling into work today and tomorrow talking to my boss about taking those days. …….. Edit: November 10 (Same Post) I was logging off for a while but I figured I’d update everyone to let you know she found my home and started harassing me now. I guess somehow her fiancée found out and she thinks it was because of me. I feel like things are just going from bad to worse. I had to leave my car in my moms garage and borrow my nephews car which my neighbor let me park in her driveway because she threatened to ruin my car like “I ruined her relationship”, which isn’t just hypothetical but also ironic. Relevant Comments: What have you decided regarding legal aspects of this (ie green card)? I don’t want to make any legal decisions at the moment. I’m barely getting through leaving him, I don’t want to also put on too being responsible for my daughter to lose her dad. Because of his stupidity" Someone cautions her to not overly listen to reddit here, because this is a decision with huge ramifications. She should just do what feels right for her and her child: I feel like there’s no way out without severe damage. I feel like I’m in that bridge game from squid games except all tiles break at any decision just some have lesser consequences than the others. I currently don’t want to make ANY decisions because I feel safe in limbo atm because even though my logical reasoning understands if he gets deported it’s going to be from his decision my emotional reasoning feels responsible for it. I don’t want him back the betrayal and his dishonesty has broken any trust I could ever have and I don’t think it would be good for my mental health to continue a relationship like that. I grew up seeing my mom always asking and wondering if my step was cheating or not to the point my mom neglected us because she was so busy ensuring her husband wasn’t cheating. It turned a once loving caring involved mother into a toxic person who would take her daughters out at 3 am to go to shady neighborhoods to see if her husbands car was outside someone’s house. I don’t want that for myself or daughter. I saw cheating ruin my mother without her ever being unfaithful, I seen it destroy my sisters first engagement , I have seen my brothers bleed from aggressive cheating women who attack them for wanting to take their kids from toxic environments with drugs and other men. Cheating is something I don’t want ANY involvement in and I’ve seen what it does to people. But I also have that responsibility that I want my daughter to have her dad. So in the meantime I am having that distance because I KNOW what is better for her and I am trying my best to stick to the logical conclusion not the emotional one. No matter how much I miss him, but I tell myself I don’t miss this person talking to me. I miss the person who made me feel safe, loved and cared for. And even then I’m starting to look back and realize a lot of it was me in a delusional state thinking that him hugging me when I asked, me going to him for kisses, me cuddling to him, was all love. I felt safe with him not because he made me feel safe but because I thought i was. But looking back it’s embarrassing to say I was the one who did a lot of the instigating of affection. Maybe some of the people who messaged me saying I was I was psycho were on to something. I’m starting to feel like maybe I was in some delusional state and he was just using me." Legal Advice Post: November 10, 2023 (Same day as the edit in update post) Title: What do I need to file a restraining order in Texas? My husband cheated on me and the woman who he cheated with is now harassing me. Ig she was engaged and was about to go from a visa to residency because of her fiancée but somehow he found out about her relationship with my husband. She believes it was me but I don’t know who her partner is/was or who told him yet since like 4pm today she’s done the following: •punctured a hole in one of my tires •wrote on my front bay window “home wrecker” • keeps calling me from different numbers and now I’m starting to receive spam text messages after I blocked all of her numbers and stopped answering random numbers •threaten “I’ll ruin your car like you ruined my relationship ####” This is all since this afternoon. I called the police but by the time they showed up she was gone. And they said I had no prove of what’s she doing so unless they find her doing it or I have prove their hands are tied. My mom and step dad said they will put up cameras in my home and my mom is keeping my car at her home. They want me to stay with them too but I don’t want to leave my home incase she tries something against it. The most I was able to get is a police officer patrolling the area. Meaning they will be close by and randomly pass by. I’m not sure what to do, I don’t even know who her partner is and I’m already dealing with leaving my husband and now she’s harassing me? Any advice before it gets worse? *****New to this sub Comments****\* Commenter: Your situation is very similar to mine which started 15 years ago. I made the decision to stay to make sure he got his green card and stayed with his son in turn, I received so much abuse from him. He is a narcissist and he subjected me to all kinds of abuse. I stayed because of my son and finally decided to leave. I was waking him for 15 years and once I left he stopped contact with our child, so all the abuse I endured it was pointless. OOP: He was never abusive in any physical way but looking back I believe him to be very manipulative and immature. I don’t want to waste anymore time if it was possible I would go back and refuse to ever give him the time of day. It’s been the worst month of my life and going back or if I’d stay I can’t see it would have ever gotten better. I’ve loss so much hair from stress my milk supply has plummeted to the point I think I may need to supplement formula soon, my mom tells me to just switch to formula because all my stress is going to go to the baby. But we’ve had such a bad formula shortage I don’t want to. I don’t think my situation would have been any better if I would have stayed because I don’t think he would have changed his behavior just hid it better. My trust issues (which I had already prior to this whole mess) would have driven me into the same stress so I’m just give god thanks for him opening my eyes and not putting me in a worse situation. I’m sorry your ex was just as horrible and you feel all your suffering was pointless. I believe it tells how important your son was for you and how selfless you are. Update Comment: November 18, 2023 (8 days later, almost 1 month from OG post) Thank you. My baby and I are. Doing better. She’s doing okay atm but unfortunately I’ve started to show some physical symptoms of the extreme stress I’ve been going through. As of Wednesday I haven’t had anymore issues with the woman as my step dad put cameras up and the moment one of the cameras alerted me they captured movement I got on the phone with police. I’m not sure what she was planning but she spent enough time under my kitchen window and my laundry window that the police showed up and got her for trespassing now with my video evidence I’ve sent it to the guy who was originally our immigration lawyer who said he will be doing a immigration report on her and use my original picture of her “working” and my video evidence of her trespassing and idk what else to prove she’s not only in the country while her visa isn’t active but also working and doing illegal things. Idk what she wanted but if she would have left me alone I would not have done anything. I didn’t report to her fiancée or do anything against her. Everything naturally happened and now in order to protect myself I’ve had the lawyer report her for me. Update Comment: December 12, 2023 (about 1 month later, shy of 2 from OG post) TLDR: I’m okay, ex is still a ex, ex is still sleeping with others, harassment is less severe but now more people. Ex is either stupider than I thought or manipulating women to harass me. And the girl, my ex and all other illegal workers were fired but to my knowledge not deported. Now more detail is below ⬇️ We’re okay, I’ve been numb to the whispers and just waiting for the office closing days for holiday vacation to start so I can go to Mexico for a while til our office reopens mid January. I’ve made friends with my areas police officer so he comes by and sweeps the area often and even has had his wife come stay with me and help me with my daughter and help me stay safe. I quit posting because the post actually blew up enough to where she found out about it I guess I wasn’t vague enough. I guess her husband uses Reddit and after he found out about her cheating and drama he put two and two together and reached out to me and I was able to confirm it was him by phone and met in person to talk. [editor's note- this post did get a lot of traction on several different subs and was posted several places outside of reddit, including facebook, youtube, pinterest and tiktok. To me it's actually quite plausible someone found it] Turned out he actually reported her overstay but I guess somehow she didn’t get deported but she along with a few others including my ex were all fired from their job because of his report. According to him she won’t be able to ever renew her visa again because she came as a tourist which means she can’t work. He apologized for her craziness and offered to help me but I turned him down because his involvement might actually make it worse. My ex started sleeping around and I guess doesn’t learn his lesson. I don’t care anymore though I’ve come to peace he’s not the person I married. I’m so disgusted by him now that I don’t even like him kissing on my daughter. He does come to see her when my mom watches her more now that he got fired and is job haunting. I ask my mom that he leaves before I pick up because he will start crying the moment he sees me and tries to hug me. Police have been useless aside the friendly officer and his wife. It’s not just that girl now, it’s like 3 girls who are her friends plus a few others who have slept with my ex who harass me because he tells them he loves me and wants me back which I don’t know if he’s stupid or is manipulating them to attack me for him. Either way I’ve deactivated all of my social medias and the ones I do use are all private or with a different name so I can just use but I just don’t post. Sorry it’s long and boring. OOP adds: Also one of the people who was sending me hate messages saying I’m a psychopath I deserved the cheating and talking a lot of crap to me was her, her ex confirmed her account. Mini Comment Update: February 4, 2024 (1.5 months later, 3.5 from OG post) Shes finally stopped but I think it’s because she doesn’t know anything of where I live work or do. “Suspiciously “ when I quit informing my ex she also quit finding me. I only meet my ex in public now. Final Update Comment: February 6, 2024 (2 days later) Honestly I’m trying to focus on healing now. After everything I’m disgusted to think back of a time I slaved for him. I look at him and it’s just not the same. I used to see his green eyes and love his long lashes, now I notice his pimple scares and bad skin. I used to be excited for him to be home and try to think of something special to surprise him when he got home or what would get him to smile, now I just wonder how many time he was screwing around while I was fixing him something special or preparing everything for him to come home to a warm clean welcoming home. I never thought I would dread to have to see him or have anxiety when he’s near. I just focusing on myself now. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates |
LucyAriaRose |
Mar 17, 2025 |
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[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes + her own page Previous BoRUs: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment Mood Spoilers: super wonderful!! Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above RECAP Original Post: November 14, 2023** I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them. Update #1: November 27, 2023 (13 days later) Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook. Update #2: December 12, 2023 (15 days later) So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays. Inheritance: December 16, 2023 (four days later) I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much. Christmas: December 25, 2023 (nine days later) I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve. Brother’s call: December 26, 2023 (next day) Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited. Brother's Here: December 27, 2023 (next day) My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive! Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024 (six days later) I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space. Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024 (15 days later) My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys. This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression. Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly. My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined. Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone. Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024 (16 days later) Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care. Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them. We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office. Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it. Update: February 27, 2024 (three weeks later) My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits. Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her. There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet. Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game! Update 4/1 - Final one I think: April 1, 2024 Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one. It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal. The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason. The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area. The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy. And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing. We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods. As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for. I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you. Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil. Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now. My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them. No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks. ----NEW UPDATE---- Been a while: March 3, 2025 (10 months later) I hope everyone's doing wonderful! I know it's been a while. Lots of little happy updates incoming! My brother moved out! He's like 5 minutes away, so it's not far but he's officially living on his own. He's going steady with the same girl. She's a catch! Sweet as can be! She fits in to the family so well and everyone just adores her. She's going to school to be a nurse and I know she's gonna crush it. Hubby and I get to babysit her kiddo on the regular and he's a total hoot. At first, he was overly polite and a bit shy, but one day my husband picked him up and husband was wearing his SCP hoodie. Turns out the kid is a MASSIVE SCP fan. So we've all bonded and he's really opened up around us. Assuming my brother and her are still together come August (we're hoping they continue going strong) there's talk about kiddo taking the school bus to our place after school. There's a stop at the bottom of our street and it would be no trouble for us to have him chill at our house for a few hours until mom's off work. Have him work on homework or whatever. I might have to learn whatever "new math" is, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Mom's mellowed the frick out. She's stopped her insanity and seems to have accepted the new normal. Dad says she's "turning back into the woman he once married." Which is a bit depressing, but also good, I guess? From what he says, mom has started cross stiching again. Which, my brother and I never knew she knew how. Apparently, she used to be massively into the hobby, but after my brother and I were born, she was terrified we'd get into the needles and hurt ourselves, so she put it all away and never touched it again. Step-dad says she's much more relaxed and calm lately, which I'm happy about. She's respected our boundaries and has only come to visit when we allowed it. Our relationship has improved drastically. Dad and step-mom are also doing well. Step mom and us actually bonded quite nicely during January. She needed hip surgery and since Dad's house has more steps than High Hrothgar, it was decided that she would stay with my husband and I. Her doctor scheduled the surgery at our local branch of their hospital and after she was released, she came back to our place. She ended up staying with us for most of January due to a massive ice storm that came tearing through the area. I've spent time with the woman, but never like this or for this long. It was like seeing a whole new side of her I never knew. When dad finally came to pick her up, I was actually sad to have her leave. You will all be happy to hear that we did manage to do a memorial for my grandparents. It was exactly what my soul needed. I didn't realize how much I NEEDED to have that closure until it was done. Like someone took a weighted blanket off me and I could breathe again. It was a lovely service and a few of the little old church ladies made us some finger foods to have back at the church afterwards and we all sat around eating and sharing stories about Grandma and Grandpa. Our next scheduled visit is for Easter and I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it. I feel like I have my family back again. Please be kind to each other and take care of yourselves. Thank you for letting me shout into the void. Commenter: Oh this is a fantastic update. I am so pleased that this whole saga has come through the other side in a nice way. So often these kind of things don’t have happy endings and I’m thrilled that this one does. Thank you for updating us all. DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
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r/BestofRedditorUpdates |
Choice_Evidence1983 |
Mar 10, 2025 |
United States
