Boots For Women

..." "She's a young attractive outspoken women which makes her a target... he targets, after constantly harassing women, happens to be queer. How... because he is an Adonis (women want him, men want to... yourself. Watch Hasan or real boots in the ground reporting. Hamas... UTC" "Understood. They are dumb women who are hideous on the...

... “Scottish Blethers” with two older women who are Blue Badge tour... pair of waterproof Merrell hiking boots. I also brought a pair...

... application, matching skirt, £6,780, boots, £1,820, sunglasses, £520, bag... “in the hands of older women, so it makes sense for...

... wear knee high black leather boots which would send me into... that she was wearing those boots and nothing else! Needless to... those knee high black leather boots as well as her black... and kissing her stockings and boots and imagining I was kissing... out their frustration on the women after a hard week's work. ... suspenders but she wanted the boots back. I told her that's ...

.... 【Material】: High quality fabric of women maxi dress is used as ... this casual long dresses for women. The fabric has better breathable, ... summer beach maxi dresses for women on your body, it shows ... short sleeve maxi dress for women is also more casual and ... denim jacket or jacket, wear boots, do not have to worry ..., Street and Daily Wear. This women dress is also a nice ...

... instead of prosecutions. His jack boots are throwing people in prison... support / supported is getting your women and children raped and killed...

submitted by /u/morningdart to r/animalid [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/kisekikumo Me [20/F] with fellow classmate/student [25/M], how to tell him to back off when all other attempts have failed? Potential stalker? TRIGGER WARNING: Stalker, harassment Original Post - rareddit March 18, 2016 So I help out a teacher friend of mine (34F) in some of her classes. She used to teach me in the beginning but some years on, now I help other students in her classes so they can practice their work. This one student of hers (25M) suddenly became overly attached to me. Always making a point of saying hello to me at the start of every class (he doesn't do this to anybody else, even the teacher), placing his hand on my back when I'm stood next to him or turned away from him, making a point of saying goodbye to me (as above), asking for personal details and contact info, following me out of class when he should be going in the opposite direction and just general looks in my direction that creep me out. This started maybe three weeks into the course (one lesson a week). I haven't ever given him extra attention over the other students, made any attempt to be anything more than an assistant to the teacher, or gave him any reason to think that what he is doing is solicited. I thought initially I was making a mountain out of a molehill so tried to nip it in the bud. I told him I'm not okay with him entering my personal space to touch me and that I'm here to answer any questions he has related to the work but nothing else. He apologised but the week after, all creepy vibes intensified and he started to make me jump by creeping up behind me on purpose when he says hello. He'd still touch me on my back but rather it being an attempt at an endearing pat or whatever, he would leave his hand there until I moved away (which I am very quick to do so but I know he would leave his hand there longer if I allowed it.) I've said "please don't touch me" countless times by now. Speaking to the teacher, she looks out for me like a mum would. She said I no longer had to help him in class and she also told him that he shouldn't touch me at all. Other students in the class who noticed I looked rather creeped out (22F and 24M) have also gone out of their way to position themselves in between us when he has moved to sneak up on me. Speaking to them, one of whom also takes another separate class with him, they confirmed his behaviour is exclusively towards me. So I stopped helping him and regrettably that had to include people who sat near him for fear he would try to start a conversation with me. A few weeks of realising I was completely blanking him and he starts to follow me out of class. I know he has to catch a bus which has its stop in the completely opposite direction from overhearing conversation with other students in class. It's dark when the class is finished and I have to walk a little bit to get to the car. This guy is 6'4 and easily twice my weight (and I'm rather chubby to begin with) so it naturally worries me. He wouldn't say anything to me when he followed me until two weeks ago. He asked to have my email address for help with an upcoming test. I made up an excuse, saying I didn't have time and that the teacher already sent it out (thankfully she hadn't). I told him clearly that I didn't want to speak with him and that he should leave me alone like I've asked and like he's been told before marching away from him. Last week, he was behind me in the queue for coffee in the student union. The barista (22M) and I were having our usual weekly flirty banter that we have when I grab a drink to take to class. He did not like this one bit and interrupted our conversation to ask me more about the test, whether I wanted to sit down with him to talk it over in the 15 minutes we had until class started. I said no and gave the barista a look. At the counter waiting for our drinks, they came at the same time and after I'd picked mine up, he put his hand on my back again and tried to lead me over to a nearby table. I literally squirmed away and to the side, taking my phone out and pretending to text someone awkwardly because I didn't know how to deal with it and I'm not one to cause a scene. My wonderful barista saw the whole thing and came over and outright told him to back off because it was clear I was really uncomfortable. I hadn't told the barista about this guy, so maybe his creepiness is more obvious than I thought? He walks off, presumably to class where I follow after explaining the situation to the barista for a couple of minutes. Unfortunately the coffee shop is closed when class finishes, so it's not like I can wait there for a bit before going to the car. He doesn't speak to me in class, not even the usual hello or goodbye, but he still follows me halfway to my car on the way out in silence. Class took a break this week and I'm really at a loss for what to do in time for next week. I enjoy helping out, the other students are fine and I don't see the point in having to give it up because I'll feel like this guy has won. Why is he doing what he's doing? Could what he's doing be considered stalking? Should I talk to the department that runs the course about his behaviour? Should I talk to the authorities? Or am I really making something out of nothing here? I really don't know what to do, any advice to help me put an end to this once and for all would be most appreciated. tl;dr: Student I help regularly makes unwanted physical contact, follows me to my car often etc. Has ignored all warnings from multiple people to leave me alone. What can I do to stop this? RELEVANT COMMENTS cinnamonteaparty I generally don't comment on this board but from one internet stranger to another, I'm worried about you and your safety. He is obviously stalking you and will probably escalate his behavior. Start documenting everything. Dates, times, types of behavior that he has shown towards you. Document, document, document and give this to campus security, the dean of students and the local pd. From my experience, campus pd and dean of students can't do anything unless there are documented complaints about the person. Immediately talk to your uni's campus security, dean of students and the local pd. Both you and your teacher friend and others have explicitly told him to leave you alone and he obviously does not/has not/will not get the message that you want nothing to do with him. Because you're worried about him following you after class, I'd suggest asking if campus security can provide you with an escort to your car. I believe most uni's have in place an escort service that students, faculty and staff can take advantage of in order to ensure their community's safety. Otherwise, maybe offer to give one of the more level-headed students a ride home so you won't be alone. I'd also suggest speaking with local pd (to see what your options are) and even installing some safety apps on your phone. I believe there are some that will send SOS messages when triggered (such as Rave Guardian) or even just having a friend notify authorities if they don't hear back from you after a certain amount of time after the class ends. Depending on state laws, you may also want to think about getting something like pepper spray or any other safety gear (even something as little as a whistle) as a last resort to protect yourself. Good luck and hopefully if there's an update, it'll be positive. OOP I'll definitely start documenting this stuff. I hadn't even thought of doing that before... I text my teacher friend quite a bit so I can pull all the ones concerning him from past weeks and add to it. I'll try and set up a meeting with them and I can show it to them. I'm sure there must be plenty of CCTV cameras on my route so I guess I could also ask whether they still have the footage from the street and in the coffee shop. When told next time make a scene and get others to notice I hadn't actually thought of it in that way. I didn't want to be further embarrassed and I thought it could only agitate him a bit more. Even when the barista called him out quite harshly on it, it didn't seem to faze him and he still carried on. But I'll definitely try it when I know I'll have witnesses. Update - rareddit Apr 12, 2016 (4 weeks later) So, some people weighed in with their advice and ideas. But the general consensus was that this guy is indeed a stalker so I should be escalating my attempts in trying to get rid of him by going to the relevant authorities. Since my post, I arranged an appointment with the department that runs the course first thing on Monday. My teacher had relayed her concerns but it seemed the head of department wasn’t taking things too seriously so far. A police community support officer was also present, along with the teacher and the four of us went over to campus security to get CCTV footage of my route from class. They only kept two weeks worth of footage locally, the rest goes off to a separate security firm to archive so they could only get that one week of him following me in silence. The film was pretty dark but it’s hard to mistake this tall, obese guy following me. They put in a request for more footage and in the meantime we went to the coffee shop in the student union. The barista, figuring it would be needed, had already made a copy of the incident that happened there (where he tried to physically get me to sit down with him) and also gave his input on the situation to the head of dept. and PCSO. Watching that back, it gave the department reason enough to make the decision to ask him to leave the course without refund. That was going to happen in a separate meeting the very next day. The teacher was present in that meeting so she let me in on what happened. Apparently this guy didn’t deny his actions outright but really didn’t engage with the questions he was being asked either. He didn’t object to being kicked off the course and he didn’t get angry or anything like that which to me comes off as even creepier. He’s been told to stay away from me and not go near the building when class is being held, but as for other areas on campus, I’ve been told by the PCSO that it’s hard to enforce any kind of restraining order in that respect. I spoke to the student union. They actually upgraded my parking permit so I could park next to the building where class is being held so I can get in my car as everybody is leaving, walking past and able to see me. It’s also much better lit so I feel much safer while the days are still short. I bought a personal alarm and also have dug out a pair of boots with heels I suspect will be very painful should I stamp on someone or kick them where it’ll hurt. But I can still run pretty quickly in them so I’ve been wearing them around campus. Despite this, I don’t feel scared when I’m on campus or anywhere else. I’m very aware of my surroundings and I’m naturally wary anyway and I don’t feel like I should be afraid to go out in my own city. For the rest of the week I didn’t see the creep either but I’m not naive enough in thinking he might just drop it all after one meeting. Going back to the coffee shop in student union there have been sightings of him but he doesn’t buy drinks from there any more. And on a much nicer note, the barista has asked me out after months of back-and-forth flirting. He said that maybe we should wait a couple of weeks until things had died down, to which I said that I shouldn’t let this whole thing get in the way of my social life. We’ve found we have a mutual friend so instead he suggested that she come along and kind of ‘chaperone’ us to put me at ease and in turn put himself at ease too. That weekend, we all went to the cinema and then for dinner and I had a great time. There was no pressure from him whatsoever and he said upfront this could be the premise to see whether we should go on further ‘proper’ dates so neither of us felt obliged. First class without creep went very well. I think the whole atmosphere has improved for everyone and I can get on with things without having to watch my back. I went straight to my car with someone from class on their way to the train station. The one that also knew him from a different class who has told me his behaviour in other lectures hasn’t been out of the ordinary for him. He seems like kind of a loner. We didn’t see him around and neither did any of the other students upon checking in a group chat we’ve set up. I text my teacher when I get home to confirm I’ve made it back safely. After all of this, I sometimes feel like I didn’t do enough to prevent something like this from happening in the first place even though I’m always aware of who’s around me and I keep a sharp eye on my belongings and never walk with my phone in hand, especially at night. I think that’ll still take a little while to get over. I never dress in anything revealing (not that that’s any excuse to harass and stalk somebody), and I wouldn’t exactly say I’m that pretty either so initially I didn’t feel like I could command that kind of attention from somebody. And I think that’s why, judging from the things the head of department and PCSO said and especially the way they looked at me, they didn’t really believe someone had gone full stalker on me. But I got a call back from the head of department today to say that they had watched the rest of the CCTV footage through. They’ve informed all of his professors on his main course so that they can watch out for and report any further creepy behaviour of his and that someone over at adult safeguarding had been informed. But if the creep ever approaches me again I’ll call the police. He’s had enough warning from people in authority now that he can’t say that I didn’t make it clear enough I don’t want him around me so I know I’ll have a pretty solid case if it ever comes to it. And hopefully it won’t. In the past couple of weeks, I've seen the creep around campus once or twice. I always text somebody when I do, but I make like I'm ignoring him and still so far he hasn't approached me. I’m getting on with things and I haven't let this get to me, past what it already has done. I went on more dates, and now I can say I have a lovely and protective boyfriend who looks out for me too. He's a real gentleman and I don't know how long it would have taken either of us to ask the other out if this incident hadn't happened. It was a real push in the right direction for both of us and I feel we're more confident because of it. Thankyou to everybody that commented last time with their opinions and advice! I didn't expect to get as many as I did but I still read and considered everything. TL;DR: Spoke to head of dept. who pulled him off course and told never to approach me again. Allowed to park next to class building where it’s much better lit. Have the support of my class, teacher and barista-turned-boyfriend. Pleased with outcome so far, but still wary and will go straight to police if there’s ever a next time. EDIT: I know a lot of people have/will recommend the possession of pepper spray etc, but it's not legal in the UK no matter how much safer I would feel with some. Thankyou for your concern. FINAL COMMENTS HelpMyBabySleep I read something recently and I think it applies here. As a woman, you get really mixed messages about your safety. On the one hand, you're told your entire life that the world is full of bad men who want to hurt you. The world is full of bad men, don't talk to strangers. The world is full of bad men, don't go out alone after dark. The world is full of bad men, watch your drink. The world is full of bad men, dont dress too sexy. But if ever you turn around and say, "Hey, you're right, the world is full of bad men and I think this might be one," suddenly the world changes its mind. Are you sure you're not just misunderstanding? He seems like a nice man. He's trying to be romantic. Maybe you are not clear when talking to him. Maybe he's just got bad social skills. You must be sending him some signals. Were you too friendly? What were you wearing? You don't want to ruin his life over nothing. You should be more polite. So the world sends young women very mixed messages (watch out for bad men, but not too hard) and nobody can blame you for feeling unsure about how to deal with a situation like this. You did good! OOP Yes! I really think this sums up my experience with the relevant authorities during it all. I always had a sense of this, but it still hit me rather hard in the past couple of weeks. ~ Ethelfleda Great update. And honey, of course you feel like you should have done something sooner but you did what you did based on the experience and backup you had. You hadn't had to deal with this before so this was a learning experience. You did good. Please be kind to yourself and share your experiences with your friends so they can hopefully learn from your experience. Good luck! OOP Completely new. I guess I needed just that little bit of validation. And I definitely didn't think to see it this way before, it's been a learning experience for sure - thankyou! Eidtors Note: OOP has posted on the account since, but no mentions of this experience THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

The show struck gold specifically because of the visual work of Petra Collins, the decisions of the female directors who worked on a few of the episodes, and the input of the actors like Hunter who wrote her special episode. When the show became massively successful, it became a one man project,and the quality dipped. And now we are watching the female characters lose their depth, be pitted against other, and be exploited in increasingly degrading ways. (At this point, if there is a project led by Levinson, I expect to see a blonde woman being humiliated in a fetishistic manner.) What made the show special and subversive when it came to certain tropes is now gone. submitted by /u/Dense-Peace1224 to r/euphoria [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/footballfriends1 Originally posted to r/relationship_advice My husband (33M) wants me (33F) to dress more revealing Trigger Warnings: internalized misogyny and body image issues Original Post: February 27, 2026 Husband and I have been together 15 years and throughout our relationship I have been a conservatively dressed frumpier woman. My clothes look good on me but it's a lot of looser fits, high necklines, sweaters, etc. I am also the mom of a toddler. Recently my husband and I went shopping with my younger sisters, who are in their mid 20s and are skinny and single. They bought stuff that suited their lifestyle. Short skirts, low necks, flashy, etc. It all looked great on them. My husband kept encouraging me to try on that kind of stuff and I politely declined. Later he told me that he would love it if I showed more skin, at least at home if not out and about. We live in the Midwest and I am cold about 9 months of the year, so I am always completely covered and wrapped in a blanket to boot. I laughed this off thinking he was just being silly. But he was very serious. We don't have the greatest sex life, being together so long and having a toddler, but it's not terrible and I do take off my clothes at that time, just not every day. I told him that scandalous clothes simply don't fit my lifestyle, but he keeps insisting I try it. I am a larger woman and the clothes he admires simply would not work for me. I'm wondering if I should just ignore his request or have another talk with him? Compromise somehow? What's the best way forward? *Tl;Dr husband wants middle aged wife to dress more revealing. Wife is uncomfortable* Editor's note: please note that many of OOP's responses were downvoted, but they provide more details Relevant Comments Commenter 1: That's really, really sad. Perhaps you need to reevaluate some things and invest in mental health support. OOP: I like my life. It's just tiring, and being tired makes me feel middle aged. It's not deeper than that. Commenter 2: Of course it’s deeper than that. No 33 year-old describes themselves as middle aged. Your husband sees a problem and is trying to get his young, sexy wife back. OOP: This is the thing. I have always dressed and looked this way. He's never had a "young, sexy wife". he's had a more elegant, casual, conservatively dressed wife. Commenter 3: you called yourself frumpy and always wrapped in a blanket, that’s not elegantly casual. OOP: lol, I guess my work/leaving the house attire is different from home attire. I'm cold! I have to stay warm in the house! It's either blankets, sweat suits, or a very thick robe. Commenter 4: Are you leaving the house often? Is your LO in day care or are you mostly at home taking care of them? OOP: We both work. I have hobbies that involve me leaving the house as well. Commenter 5: Do you and your husband go on date nights where you dress up? You don't need to dress in a way that's antithetical to your style or comfort, but it sounds like he may be expressing some desire for less frumpy middle-aged bundle mode and a bit more wife mode. How would he characterize your sex life? "Not great but not terrible" isn't exactly a ringing endorsement in the first place, but I suspect he might lean more towards terrible than great in his own estimation. Being parents of a toddler is hard, and that's why it's extra important to make sure you're nurturing the relationship as well, not just the parent side of things. That includes intimacy. Sounds like you two need to have an honest talk about your "not great" sex life and how to work on feeling more physically connected. And yeah, that might occasionally mean turning up the thermostat a bit and putting away the sweats. OOP: Dress up dates, not often, but when we go I have nice modest clothing that I wear. Our sex life is not great. His sex drive is lower than mine. I've gotten used to it Commenter 6: I think self-describing yourself as a "conservatively dressed frumpier woman" makes your husband's request sound a lot more reasonable to me. Leave the toddler out of it. You've been together for 15 years and only a had a toddler for maybe three years. That's roughly 12 years of being frumpy. No wonder your sex life suffers. Your husband wants you to be sexier, but you've basically given up. Certainly there is some middle ground between what you consider "scandalous" and "frumpy." There has to be a way that you can show off a little for your husband and still feel comfortable. OOP: I feel that he knows how I dress. It's been consistent for years. Why change now, especially now that I'm running around a toddler and am definitely older. I want to appease him but showing skin isn't practical in the winter, and tight outfits show off the postpartum body in ways I don't like. I don't know how to honor his request and feel comfortable OOP needs to get therapy to deal with her unresolved issues that she has OOP: I have been to therapy and have focused a lot on decentering my looks and the pressure to be sexy. Embracing the things I do like about myself and leaving behind what I don't. Commenter 7: 33 isn’t middle aged! Why not buy some sexy lingerie for his eyes only instead and be proactive about wearing it to bed and initiating? OOP: He doesn't like lingerie, it puts pressure on him and feels like trying too hard. He wants "casually sexy clothing". Commenter 7: Well do you like lingerie? Could that be your compromise? At least a sexy bra or something you could start by wearing under your clothes. Personally I won’t be interested in sex if I don’t feel sexy. I understand you don’t want to wear different clothes but tbh I don’t see the harm in trying something that could potentially help you feel better about yourself or feel more sexy and maybe help your sex life. And if you try it and don’t like then oh well at least you tried. I might be wrong but your post reads as if you don’t have a lot of self-confidence. The sexiest thing a woman can wear is confidence! Also I don’t think anyone would consider 33 Middle Aged that’s just madness. OOP: I don't personally like lingerie. I have a hard to find bra size so my three bras are aggressively practical. I feel pretty good about myself in the clothes I wear! I love clothes and thrive in looser fitting, colorful yet conservative wear.   Update: March 30, 2026 (one month later) Update: my husband (33M) wants me (33F) to dress more revealing I posted a little while ago about this dilemma. My husband wants me to start showing cleavage and leg while we're around the house. I have always dressed conservatively and now that I have a toddler, this feels even more impractical. So, a few days after posting, I humored him by taking him shopping. I asked him to pick out stuff that he wanted me to wear, and agreed to try them on in the dressing room. He picked out all the expected stuff. Lace camis, deep necklines. Even a few pairs of shorts and one of those ridiculous bloomer things. I tried them all on and then showed him how difficult each one would be. This top while bending to pick up toys. These shorts while changing diapers. How everything rides up and slips and would require constant adjustment. After a while of this, he backed off. Apologized. Agreed he would not ask for any of that again. Unfortunately, it appears he might have developed some kind of Madonna complex. We have not had sex since that day. He does not find my current persona sexually appealing anymore. He's dissatisfied with us having sex with the lights off, even though that's how we've always done it. So we're at a bit of a stalemate now. Is there a way we can reach a compromise that allows me to be comfortable and him to have some level of arousal? Or do we stick to the status quo? Editor's note: OOP made lots of responses, I am listing top common questions and responses Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Why not try to find a special outfit for “occasions”? I saw in your other post you keep saying you’re middle aged at 33… I’m 40 and refuse to use those words. Are you feeling ok? OOP: I am a tired mom. I've felt middle aged for a while. I feel ok but I also take antidepressants and have for many years Commenter 2: How much mental load does your husband take on? OOP: The majority. He's a great parent Commenter 3: You did not “humor” him. That implies giving things a genuine shot in good faith. It seems that your intention was to school him and show why what he wants is wrong, and to make him feel your pain. It seems to me that instead of fixating on sexy clothing as a proxy issue, you two should seek couples counseling with the aim of generally improving your sex life and communication around sex. Is this something each of you is open to? OOP: You're right. I was hurt and acted out of anger. I felt like he was asking for something so impractical and selfish that my feelings were hurt OOP on her physical shape OOP: I am a larger woman with a lot of lumps and bumps, lol. I prefer conservative items that cover my body. Commenter 4: Question - do you like your body? Do you find your body attractive and sexy aside from your husband's desire? Do you see your body as more than what it did - bear a child? Your personal style is one thing, but you seem to describe your body in a negative way and highlight what you perceive as flaws. I think this is especially common for women after pregnancy. If you don't like your body it doesn't really matter what you wear. You'll never feel comfortable because it's not about the clothes, it's about your self-image. I could be wrong, but it seems like the other things are symptoms of a much deeper root. I'd try working on that while talking with your husband. My guess is it never really occurred to him and so his request has triggered a subconscious or unspoken insecurity. OOP: I do not. I have never liked my body. Therapy has helped me see my body as a tool rather than an aesthetic thing. I focus on what it can do rather than what it looks like. I cover what displeases me and focus on what I like. I have always dressed and acted this way, even pre motherhood Commenter 5: Reading this post and then your comments about your own body is making me wonder if this is a you issue instead. You seem to be very adverse to showing off your body. Were you like this before the baby, or has pregnancy ruined your self-image? Either way, recommend some soul searching. Clearly, your husband loves you (even if his attempts to show it are misguided). You need to love you, too. OOP: I have always been this way Commenter 6: I’m curious how he dresses and if it’s appealing to you. Because most of the guys who requested I wear specific items of clothing did not dress to a standard I found appealing. OOP: He wears what he likes. I've never been invested in his looks or clothing OOP on her family OOP We both work outside the home. He is a fantastic parent and partner. Our child is around 18 months.   ----NEW UPDATE---- DISCLAIMER: OOP HAS UPDATED AFTER THE BoRU WAS POSTED SO PER RULES UPDATE IS INCLUDED I (33F) am trying to improve my intimate life with my husband (33M) and am struggling?: April 7, 2026 (one week later) I can't officially update per subreddit rules but I posted here a bit over a week ago about my husband wanting me to wear shorts/tanks/etc around the house and me disliking my body and wanting to cover up as much as possible. Well, my husband saw the posts and we talked about it. I have made inquiries about finding a new therapist and so that is in the works. We planned to try intimacy with a lamp on so he could see me a little. My husband was very loving and encouraging. He agreed to put the request for new wardrobe on hold while I pull myself together. And then stuff got worse. I am a hobbyist writer attempting to get a novel published (I write every day from 4 to 7 AM, it is the thing I love most in life). After two failed novels my agent officially dropped me. Now I don't just feel middle aged. I feel old and dried up and so defeated. All I have ever wanted to do is be a writer and now I'm even further than ever before. It's like, I'm not beautiful or successful or smart but I can write...now I don't even have that. So yeah. At an absolute low point. My question is, how can I take care of my marriage and my family and myself in this state? I feel like I can't lean on him because he's going through his own stuff and I don't really have anyone else to turn to either. I've kind of lost all my friends these past few years, mostly due to jealousy about everyone else's successes. My own fault. It's all my own fault.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/typewrytten Originally posted to r/legaladvice Roped into our neighbors’ search warrant because we live in a duplex. Police seized our iPad only used for art. Trigger Warnings: police brutality, destruction of property Original Post: June 10, 2025 My wife and I live in the upstairs unit of a duplex in Minnesota. The two units have separate house numbers and are independent, aside from a shared entryway, garage, and trash cans. We have our own keys, front doors inside the entryway, mailboxes, electric meters, etc. Earlier this week, multiple police officers and a SWAT unit executed a search warrant for the downstairs unit. The warrant was for narcotics and firearms. At 7 am on the dot, the Minneapolis Police Department showed up with no sirens and blocked off the street on both sides of the house. They then forcibly broke down the shared entryway door, then the downstairs neighbors’ front door, and also the man door to the garage, which actually left a small dent in our car parked inside (not major, but still). Our front door, the one to our upstairs unit, is the only exterior door that still works in the entire building because I opened it myself when they told us to come up with our hands up. They shoved rifles in our faces, cuffed us, and put us in the back of a squad car, where we were for about two hours while they searched both apartments. They uncuffed us about an hour in but we were not allowed to leave the car. They initially told us that the warrant was for downstairs (street address 50—not the real number), and asked us repeatedly if we lived there. We said no, we live at 48 and have no connection to the people in 50. We literally just moved here less than six months ago from out of state. The most we interact with the folks in 50 is a “hey how are you?” if we happen to be in the entryway together. They asked if the apartments connected at all once inside the respective front doors (they do not). They also asked my wife multiple times if she was a specific downstairs neighbor (she is not). Both my wife and that specific neighbor are black women. Then they told us the warrant was for “the entire building” and the garage. Eventually, they printed us a second warrant on the spot that listed our upstairs address, which we only got after the searches were over. We were also directly told by an apologetic sergeant that this had nothing to do with us and we were “just caught in the crossfire.” During the search of our unit, which was not as thorough as 50’s, they seized my wife’s iPad. The only thing on this iPad is my wife’s art. Nobody touches this iPad save for my wife, not even me. They left all other electronics untouched, including my own iPad and our laptops. Meanwhile, they took every single electronic device from all the folks in 50, including their cellphones and work computers. My wife did sign a document allowing them to search the iPad. We were told it could take a month or more if she didn’t, and her art is one of our revenue streams. We can’t afford to be without it for an extended period of time. We did get a receipt. We don’t own firearms and don’t use or sell illicit drugs. We are law abiding citizens with nothing to hide. The worst things in our apartment are weed (legal here), blunt prop swords, prescribed medication, and angry cats. All were left unharmed. No arrests were made, so I’m assuming nothing illegal was found downstairs either. The whole scene was very overwhelming and frankly a little terrifying, especially with guns pointed at us first thing in the morning. I’m kicking myself for not paying better attention because the situation feels off to me. I was more worried about making sure the cops didn’t manhandle my wife and knew about our escape artist cat. I’m also disabled, so sitting with my hands cuffed behind me so tightly for so long was not a great experience and I was/am in a lot of pain. Was this all on the level? Can they search both units when they are separate like this? Is it normal to print off a new warrant off on the spot? Why only take her iPad and leave everything else while taking everything from downstairs, especially when it has literally nothing to do with anything going on in 50? How can we get it back as soon as possible? Do we need to get a lawyer? We do not have lawyer money right now and we weren’t charged with anything, so I don’t know how PDs work in that regard. I’m keeping an eye on the iPad via FindMy because I don’t know what else to do. This is a completely new situation for both of us; I think we have one speeding ticket between us. Location: Minnesota EDIT: y’all, the iPad is backed up to the iCloud. I don’t have another device for her to use and I cannot afford one rn. Stop lecturing me on the importance of back ups. Edit 6/10: Y’all if I see this on TikTok with a shitty Minecraft parkour video in the background, I s2g. Editor's note: OOP made lots of responses, I am listing the common questions asked and responses Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Only mistake was allowing them to look at the iPad. The police can lie to you, the month thing could've been a lie, or more likely that it'll take over a month regardless, probably longer since they have a document ostensibly justifying the seizure. Pretty sure it's all digital now, the copy your neighbours got was probably printed in the same way. Depends on how the warrant's worded if it was legal. If it specifies their apartment number (assuming the apartments are zoned as separate apartments) then they had no business going into your apartment. Likely you'll have to wait a while. You still want to speak with the police about wanting your belongings back, sometimes valuable evidence not relevant to any case gets "lost", when that happens no police officer seems capable of providing assistance. OOP: I’m not sure how we would have stopped them from looking at it. They would have just seized it anyway and hooked it up to a passcode cracker. I have its exact location on Find My, luckily. And it’s locked to my wife’s AppleID, I can brick it instantly if I really want to. Commenter 2: Since the document was signed they can more easily argue that you allowed them to have it, although it depends on what exactly she signed. Without the document they'd be more likely to budge if you bother them about it. Although naturally it's possible they're nice and will return it early since they can access it easily, but not something that can be relied on. You should get it back eventually. It's just always a risk to have it there, they really don't like taking responsibility for anything. Shouldn't hurt to speak to them at least to hear if they can give you a timeline. Speaking to a lawyer could also be a good idea if it's not beyond your means. OOP: Signed only for them to search it with the provided passcode, not to seize the actual device. If they lose it or refuse to give it back, I will rain hellfire on the police department with any means I can muster. Commenter 3: Find a lawyer. The search warrant is required before entering your residence, not during or after. I'll bet they got the warrant after the fact to cover their ass. If they had a valid search warrant like the one for the lower residence, then there would be no need to ask permission to take anything that is related to the search. If they did not have an executable search warrant prior to entering a lawyer should be able to get your iPad returned immediately. Commenter 4: I'd bet the city didn't know it was a duplex - it sounds like it was once a single-family home and was converted at some point. Definitely talk to a lawyer and Legal Aid may be able to help. OP, you did pretty well on the fly. When they have guns out, follow their directions and live to fight it out later in court, if need be. OOP: It’s been converted for at least a decade, maybe two. Not totally sure. I know how to pick my battles. If this had been ten years ago, when I was young and dumb and not married, this very well may have gone differently lol + They would have seized the iPad regardless. We only gave them permission to search it willingly instead of them passcode cracking it, no choice on the seizing part. OOP on the house they are residing at OOP: I think this house was built in 1910 or something like that, if that makes a difference. I doubt it started out as duplex, but it’s definitely been one for a while OOP on their and their wife's backgrounds OOP: My wife is black. I am a disabled trans person. Unfortunately the bare minimum doesn’t always apply to us. And they literally pulled us out at gun point and were in our apartment before I even got to say “can I help you officer?” Commenter 5: They should have given you a form showing what they took along with case number, detectives name , phone number etc. They Ipad will be kept in evidence. Even if they didn’t give you a form, go to the police station or call and they’ll tell you about how long they need to keep it. DO NOT wait for them to call you, keep calling or showing up because they most likely won’t call you. It’s just going to sit in an evidence locker once “the case” is over or the DA says it’s ok to release it. OOP: We got a warrant that looks like a middle school MS Word document, a copy of the seizure receipt for the iPad, and a copy the thing to look at the iPad. No case number, no phone number, and a cop’s name that is illegible Commenter 6: If the house is separated by legally and registered as a separate address by the governing entity in your area, and you were only provided the warrant specifically outlining your address AFTER they searched your house, then they conducted an illegal search. If you have any timestamped video from a ring cam for instance, be sure to save it, and provide to a lawyer, along with the copy of the warrant. That should be timestamped as well. A half decent lawyer will quickly be able to prove this in court, and not only get your iPad back, but I believe they are on the hook for repairing any damage. OOP: They were in our apartment before they even finished putting my cuffs on. We didn’t see the warrant until we were allowed to go back in after it was all over. I don’t think they even said anything about having one until we were in the car and then later said they were printing us one. We do not have a ring camera unfortunately. Commenter 7: NAL - but a former Minneapolis resident. You may want to reach out to your city council member. They could be really helpful. OOP: Already done! That’s what I did last night when I was still too wired to sleep. From what I’ve heard, ours is pretty cool, so here’s hoping + Damn fuck he already answered me and now we are meeting with him tomorrow. Ngl, I have never had anyone at any level of government get back to me that quick   Update: March 26, 2026 (over 9.5 months later) Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/uEQvwNc3nl Location: Still Minnesota. Oh boy where to start? If you’re looking for a guide on how to get your shit back from the police, this ain’t gonna be it. Within a week of the iPad being taken I: - spent over 12 collective hours at the courthouse talking to about 20 different people - had a meeting with our city council member - went viral on both Reddit and TikTok - had to take our disabled cat to the ER because she ate something a cop tracked in on their shoe (she’s fine—shoutout U of MN) - called and spoke to everyone from the judge that signed the warrant to the officer who took the iPad to three different records offices - was told by the officer who took the iPad that since I was causing an issue, they were going to keep it longer - requested all the police reports documents. Had to do this multiple times because I kept getting rejected. - emailed about 15 other people - connected with Communities United Against Police Brutality (CUAPB) - got a lawyer - filed case with the Office of Police Conduct Review (OPCR) The week after that, our downstairs neighbors decided this entire event was my fault and started a smear campaign against me online. Then they started texting me about how I was a disrespectful, animal abusing wife beater who uses autism as an excuse to be racist. Good people of r/LegalAdvice, I have no fucking idea how or why or when they came to that conclusion. Anyone who knows me knows that the vibes in our household are very much NOT that. I mean, I am autistic, that much is true. I’m being flippant about it now but it was incredibly stressful while it was occurring. Our neighbor is a really influential person in a specific community that we are a part of so it could have been very bad for us. Luckily the fallout wasn’t terrible. After all that... …literally nothing happened! Still to this day the MPD did not file any of their paperwork about the warrant, nobody replied to our council member or lawyer or CUAPB, nothing. I did get a redacted copy of the police report for them coming to the house. That was it. In August this had to take a back seat because the school year started and I went back to work. Ngl, I also took a break from annoying the cops so much because I was worried they would retaliate. If they opened some sort of case again me or started giving me legal trouble some other way, I would be at risk of losing my license/clearances/etc. that allow me to work with children and thus my entire livelihood. I tried to continue to reach out every month for an update. In January, the OPCR emailed us! A whole six months later! We did an intake interview with a neutral lawyer. Still have heard nothing else. We also got a little bit…sidetracked by everything going on in the city and trying to protect students/neighbors. I think the sound of a whistle will forever be etched into my nervous system. And I had my school breaks eaten up by manuscript deadlines—nothing like doing line and copy editing 10 hours a day for two weeks straight to make your brain melt. In the meantime, my wife used my shitty half-broken Apple Pencil and the shitty half-broken iPad I found in the attic that we both forgot we had. Gen 7 base I think? With 32GB of memory so it was full almost immediately and her quality took a big hit with the resolution drop. That revenue stream dried up a lot unfortunately. We’ll get it back. And then in March, our downstairs neighbors got their stuff returned. Supposedly. After our neighbors got their stuff, I had my wife call the officer who took the iPad, figuring a new voice might be helpful as I’m sure mine is now automatically associated with annoyance. Five days later (today) he calls back. Y’all ain’t ready for this. APPARENTLY, the iPad was released from evidence. In OCTOBER. But they “didn’t have a way to contact” my wife. You know, despite having our address, driver licence numbers, both phone numbers, and a signed evidence receipt. They also “accidently” had my wife’s name badly misspelled, again despite EVERYTHING they had with our names on it. This is also despite me, and the lawyer, and our CM, and CUAPB reaching out to the MPD between October and now. No “hey your shit is ready,” no “we’re done with this garbage,” nothing. It’s not like they are supposed to only hold released evidence for 60 days or anything. So we go to the evidence unit. The officer w/couldn’t even tell my wife the address of the damn place because fuck him. Granted, I already knew where it was, but still bro. I fully prepare my wife for the fact that I am going to sit there until they give it to us or I get dragged out because I am fucking over this. Shockingly, the evidence unit went off without a hitch. iPad in hand, custom engraved Apple Pencil still there, no screen cracks. And they finally gave us the case number! Amazing! Only took 10 months! We get celebratory pizza at Boludo and go home. I unplug the Wi-Fi and boot up the iPad, I don’t want it connected to our network until I make sure it’s not fucking wiretapped or something. Open Screen Time to discover they never even touched the damn thing. What-fucking-ever. 40 minutes of iOS updates and 25 minutes of app updates later and we’re back in business. It’s been real, LegalAdvice. Thanks for coming along for the ride. TL;DR: We have the iPad. description of the image A black-and-white, sketch-style illustration with a playful and expressive tone. On the left side, there is large lettering reading “F*ck the MPD,” written in a swirly calligraphy style with sparkles around it, creating a contrast between the decorative typography and the message. On the right side, there’s an anime-style character of a young lady with short bob haircut, tiny horn-like shapes on head, and facial markings on cheeks. She has expressive eyes and a slightly determined expression. Her outfit has lacy details with a fitted bodice, decorative trim. Her pose shows confidence, one arm is bent as if she’s making a fist. Around her head are small sketchy marks that look like accent lines or stylized motion/emotion cues, adding to her attitude. end of the description Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments here in the update   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

​I'm getting private messages now so I'll add: please don't repost or use this anywhere else. TL/DR: husband keeps "helpfully" rearranging, hiding, and disposing of my stuff--what tactic or wording can I use to stop it? So my question here is: is there any interpretation of this situation other than mine and, more importantly, what can I say to stop it? I (46F) feel like I'm being "Amelie"-style psychologically tortured but I'm second-guessing myself because my husband (46M) is so confused about why I'm annoyed. He won't keep his hands off my stuff and reacts like I'm creating a problem out of nothing when I explain for the 700th time that I dislike it. My husband (and his mother, that's another story--at this point I literally lock cupboards when a visit is scheduled) just don't have any respect for other people's possessions. For literally decades, I've been arguing with him about not going into my things, reorganizing, throwing things away, or hiding things. His two most common responses are: "I just wanted it out of the way as fast as possible" and "I was helping." The things usually end up in really unexpected places--when I say, "But why did you put this here?" he'll often go, "Because I didn't know what it was." Then ... why touch it? A couple of weeks ago I found an important letter from the health insurance under a cat bed upstairs, and today I found my winter boots, which I'd been searching for to pack away into their box upstairs, halfway down the dank, cobwebby cellar stairs instead of on the mud tray on my side of the downstairs closet. I could not count the number of times I've sat down and in a calm voice explained that there is no reason for him to go into my possessions, home office, side of the closet, chest of drawers, etc. I have literally said over and over, "Explain how doing something that someone HATES, that you KNOW they hate, is 'helping' them." He'll squirm and look impatient and annoyed, but he honestly just does not seem to get it. I'll get the classic sort of "I can't explain my motivation to you when you're being so emotional" (though I always speak slowly, calmly, and politely). To him, it seems a person just not liking their possessions touched is irrationally emotional in itself. I've gotten to the point where I beg him to "just humor me in my mental illness" and leave my stuff alone. Sometimes he gets mad and goes, "FINE, then I'll NEVER help you with anything again!" but that doesn't last long... One example: we moved from one part of our house to another because of a renovation. I took the opportunity to sort through my clothes for things that needed to be repaired, given away, etc., trying them on and putting them aside in a cardboard box on the floor on my side of the large new closet. I came home and my husband had redistributed these clothes in with the others and thrown away the box. I patiently explained to him why I had sorted them out, he nodded sympathetically and said he understood. I then tried my best to go back through the clothes and remember what I'd originally picked out, and I put these clothes folded in a neat stack on my side of the closet. Came home the next day--he'd AGAIN put the clothes back among the others. I said, "But I literally just told you why I'd taken these out and I told you I don't want you touching my clothes?" He: "Yes, but they were on the floor!" There is always a "Yes, but!" I constantly fight the urge to start doing the same to him but 1. I don't want to become a different, nastier person just to prove a point and 2. I honestly wonder if he'd even notice his things moving around and disappearing. He seems to have such a different perception of how inanimate objects behave than I do, like he expects them to just be walking around by themselves at night or something. If I put something somewhere, he'll remove it and then go, "I didn't know how it got there." We're the only two people who live here, so... So back to my question. To me, if someone has told you literally hundreds of times, over decades, that they dislike it when you go into their private spaces and possessions and "fix" things,and you STILL do it, you're actively trying to piss them off. Two or three reminders, OK, but this is like an Etch-a-sketch being shaken--I find something of mine in the trash, I calmly explain how disrespectful this is, and he seems surprised and annoyed that I have this weird hang-up. He promises he'll try to remember and be more careful, and three days later he does the same. Is there ANY way to interpret this story that explains his behavior as something other than purposeful and (to me) aggressive? He sees no issue whatsoever in what he's doing, and he gets frustrated that I'm ruining our time together by reacting to it. He's hurt if I say it feels like it's psychological torture (I am constantly anxious about what has disappeared or been damaged, did I miss a parking ticket or reminder, etc.), and that adds that to his proof that I'm the crazy one, that I could say something so unhinged and cruel... So does anyone have a different explanation and, more importantly, some magic phrasing or example I can give him that will make him finally understand? OR is there any direction from which I could look at this where I can feel some understanding or sympathy, like he really cannot control himself? Has anyone experienced this and found the magic trick to stop it? (Side note: I absolutely despise AI and would never use it, I'm an English teacher, and I like em dashes, dammit, before anyone attacks mine...) EDIT: I don't know if this counts as an update and hope I'm not doing something wrong, but here is a comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1s1f4lj/comment/oc6xllt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button EDIT 2: So vast majority of responses say that he's doing it consciously and maliciously, so I guess there's my depressing answer. A few people have suggested some sort of neurodivergence. (I found especially interesting the one person who said they also keep doing this to their partner and know it's wrong but can't stop themselves.) For the really vicious, furious people, maybe take a glance at Bryony Claire's video "I love my husband who hates me": https://youtu.be/_kRu5nCIs_c?si=tuY-OtW5QdQ2x12I It's interesting to see proven what she's talking about, about how there is an instinct, even from other women, to attack the victim of abuse. In my case, I'm in no danger, but you don't know that, and it might not be the best tactic to talk like that to someone who actually is ... submitted by /u/Gallumbits42 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]