Boy Names With Meaning

...of 26. "My dear boy, we already know how ...") - Sorcerer with Waste With a few oddballs, the names seem to be... in their four-man squads, meaning that they can be defeated...Equus thinks of a bunny boy and his boyfriend and dies.... perhaps one final answer, boy, before you fail..." "Who is... don't lump me in with that half-witted little toad. Excellus...he was ready, even with her wounds. His preparations must...

... boy Sebastian Manuel bc my husband has all our kids with...one that went together with smr initials. My oldest ... different. My girls names are Sophia mylee and sierra...." Zane – Variant of John, meaning "God is gracious." Theo – Greek, ...God." Asa – Hebrew origin, meaning "healer." Solomon – Hebrew for "peace...." Ezra – Hebrew, meaning "helper." Kenzo – Japanese, meaning "wise" or "strong." Lucian ...

I found this article with a whole list of uncommon boy names: https://www.babyelegance.com/blogs/news/100-unique-boy-names-for-2025 My favorites are Alaric, Eero, Magnus, Ozias, & Silas. Not listed in article: Kian – Irish and Persian roots; "ancient" or "grace of God." Asa – Hebrew origin, meaning "healer." I like shorter unique names.

...so I’m having a little boy. I am half black and...want the baby anyways. The names I’m narrowed down to are ...name Matthew. * Meaning: “Gift of God.” * Personality associations: Often associated with kindness, wisdom...associated with the Kikuyu language of Kenya) and popular in Jamaica. * Meaning: Commonly...journeys.” * Personality associations: Often linked with independence, curiosity, resilience, and a ...

...line in a match with MJF and lost, meaning he can never...another run. JURASSIC EXPRESS “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry (son of ...success tagging with Luchasaurus in a dynamic reminiscent of Moon Boy and...was somehow not a 12-year-old boy despite his appearance. Luchasaurus turned... Cage’s “son” Killswitch. Jungle Boy turned heel as well, embracing...brother Rey Fenix became big names in the wrestling industry, due...

We are having a boy and I’m really struggling to ... the soft sounding and peace meaning, but now feel that it... a one syllable name starting with H, so would prefer a... convinced because he feels the meaning of these names are boring lol. Would love... to hear opinions suggestions of names that you feel have a ...similar feel to the names listed above, or if you ...

submitted by /u/Neuta-Isa to r/CuratedTumblr [link] [comments]

Hi everyone, A little over 8 months ago, a very special kitten named Ember chose me to be his dad. We met at a friend’s birthday party when he snuck through the gate right behind me. We didn’t even notice him until he tried to jump into a fire pit—luckily, I caught him just in time. He instantly stole my heart with his very first meow. I didn’t know it then, but this little legend would help me take the final steps toward reclaiming my life after a decade-long depression and escaping an abusive relationship. I owe so much to him. Before this weekend, I could honestly say I was the happiest I’ve been in my entire adult life. The spark Ember brought changed everything, and he even led me to finding the best partner I could have ever dreamed of. When I got home from work on Friday, I found Ember hiding and lethargic. There were no warning signs before this. I rushed him to the emergency animal hospital, where they essentially worked to keep him stable until the full specialist staff returned on Monday. Since Friday, he has undergone 6 blood transfusions and several treatments for both infectious and autoimmune diseases. We are now down to our last 24 hours. It is still not entirely clear what is wrong, but the vets believe it is the feline equivalent of Evans syndrome (where the immune system attacks its own blood cells). This wasn’t exactly their words, it’s just my understanding. Sadly, the trauma from this has left Ember blind. Even if he miraculously turns the corner tonight, he will remain blind for the rest of his life. They have tried two aggressive treatments: IVIG (an intensive therapy only documented as successful in 3 cats ever) and vincristine. I received an encouraging call this morning saying Ember was physically looking much better and had even eaten some food. It felt like he was turning the corner. Unfortunately, I was just told that his immune system is still attacking his platelets, meaning the treatments have not worked yet. His platelet levels just dropped from 16 down to 8. We are currently on hour 50 of a 72-hour IVIG treatment window. This final transfusion bag is being administered tonight. We need his immune system to stop attacking his platelets within the next 12 hours. If we don’t see clinical improvement by tomorrow, I am going to have to make the heartbreaking decision to let him go. The vet bill is already approaching $10,000, and it is simply not feasible to continue experimental treatments without knowing exactly what we are fighting. Ember and I need a miracle. Please send whatever prayers, love, and positive energy you have to my sweet boy tonight. I owe so much to him and I want nothing more than to feel him purring on my chest again. ❤️ submitted by /u/AdRepresentative2766 to r/cats [link] [comments]

Hi, my husband and I are African American in our 30s and live in the North East area of the US in a liberal state. We would prefer a unique name that isn't too wild or spelled crazy. I don't want my kids name ending up on that reddit that makes fun of baby names. I also want them to get a job, not bullied over their name. A name with a meaning would be nice. I am obessed with the Harlem Renaissance and names popular during that time (1920s+). I feel as old school names are coming back in style. ​ Sorry to be cryptic, but for further context while protecting our privacy; my husband name starts with a T and mine with an M. Our lastname is a color starting with G. We have a daughter whose name starts with a T and her middle starts with an M. Obviously to connect it to our names. This is something I want to try to continue, if possible. I am open to M starting names and T starting names. ​ If possible, my daughter's middle name is Maxine (meaning is the greatest). I really wanted to have that meaning as a trend for our children to share. So, I love the name Maxwell (has the same meaning) but as of right now I like it as a middle, because I haven't found something starting with a T that sounds good with for it to be the first name. ​ One name I do love but doesn't fit the TMG/MTG trend is...Von Maxwell. It rolls nicely. But my husband hates it. ​ Any suggestions? It starting with a T or M is more important than the name meaning trend (the Greatest). But bonus if you can work it out whether if the T or M name has that meaning. Thank you in advance. submitted by /u/NeuropathyandNetflix to r/BabyNames [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP, this was originally posted in r/AmItheAsshole by u/cantnameakidtedbundy (Special thanks to u/youshewewumbo for collecting the original BORU.) TW: Death of a family member, talks of Ted Bundy's crimes Mood spoiler: Positive ending -------------------- Original post (Posted April 14th, 2022) Hello all! This has caused quite a stir on both sides of the family, and my niece suggested I post this here so as to garner unbiased opinions. Unfortunately, as it is relevant to the story, I will have to keep much personal information uncensored in this story. As such, this is a throwaway account. My (35F) husband (37M) and I are pregnant with our first child. We are overjoyed, as we have struggled with perceived infertility and miscarriages for the last decade. We want the gender to be a surprise, but may have to find out to settle this; I’m currently at the tail end of my second trimester. Now, my husband absolutely idolized his grandpa, who, unfortunately, passed away last week. My husband is devastated, especially about the notion that his children will never meet their great grandpa who their father adored so much. As such, my husband has suggested that we name the baby after grandpa; Theodore if it’s a boy, Theodora if it’s a girl. Either way, we will either call them Teddy, or Theo/Thea respectively. It’s not that I mind the name, the issue is that our last name is Bounde; pronounced bun-dee. I asked my husband, do you really see no issue in naming our kid Teddy Bounde? You don’t think that would raise any questions? He says no, he’s just honoring his grandpa; I told him he needs to think about how we will be perceived, how our child will be treated, and the implications that that name inherently carries. I literally had to spell out why that would be a horrible idea, and he still thinks I just hate his grandpa. I told him no, grandpa was named in 1930 when the name Teddy Bounde wouldn’t have been a problem. However, since certain events in the 70s & 80s, there’s no feasible way we can give this name to our kid and not cause issues. He kept pushing and pushing until I blew up and told him to stop with the idiotic suggestion, and that’s what it is; idiotic at best, sociopathic at worst. He got extremely upset and told his family and my parents, who are divided. His family is obviously on his side and wants to honor grandpa via naming the baby after him. My parents are torn but on my side, as they understand the social pariah we would make our child by giving them such a similar name to the person who did such abhorrent and downright evil things to so many women. I mean, personally I don’t think anyone is just going to assume that we are honoring a passed loved one; they’re just going to think of Ted Bundy. AITA? EDIT: Edit just to say that you guys are all proving my point that Ted Bundy is clearly still an infamous name. There has not been one comment that didn’t immediately make the correlation upon hearing my last name. That is exactly what I don’t want to have happen to my child. Kids are dicks, and they’re gonna find a way to be mean. Let’s not just hand them the material. EDIT 2: Bundy’s full name was Theodore Bundy. That’s where this problem is ultimately stemming from. When a teacher reads the name from the roll, be it Theodore or Theodora, they aren’t going to assume a nickname; it’s just gonna be the full thing. -------------------- Unsurprisingly, OOP was voted Not the a-hole. Top comments from the original post: rocksthosesocks: NTA please do not name your kid, in effect, Ted Bundy. Literally ignore everybody encouraging you to name your kid Ted Bundy. Critical_Pause_4573: NTA In this thread it seems that people replying that’s she’s the asshole are not American or Canadian. To be clear in America and even Canada Ted Bundy is a widely known serial killer. He’s raped and brutalized multiple woman. There is so many movies/documentaries made about him. In the American education system in some places they learn about him in school. This isn’t a case where they would be naming their child a serial killer in a small town, or one that’s not widely known. Everyone would hear the name and immediately think of him. Regardless, wanting to name a child a with a serial killer name even if not widely known is weird and not the best choice. There’s many solutions to offering a way to honor his Grandpa. Perhaps a middle name. Or if thé Granpa had a middle name you could use that as the child’s first name. Op you are not the asshole. You could of maybe been more gentle in your delivery however it seems he wasn’t understanding and kept pushing so perhaps he needed it to be said this way. Edit: lol guys I only assumed because early in this thread people were saying she was the asshole and I figured they maybe were from another country. Even as a Canadian we hear about him still and I couldn’t fathom an American or Canadian thinking people would “forget or he wasn’t that big of a deal”. Jameson18dude: NTA. If your last name is Dahmer, you’d probably stay away from Jeffrey. I share the name of a famous athlete, in the State he played college ball. I was 8 when he became famous, so I wasn’t named after him, just coincidence. It comes with its own issues, nothing too bad (outside of people thinking I’m him, finding my address by typing my name in to google, then they stop by my house, it’s happened twice). I couldn’t imagine having to share a name with a serial killer. Deleted user: NTA. Even if the name wasn’t “bad” in this way, it takes TWO yes’s for a baby’s name. Two. Even if you simply didn’t like the name, your NO means NO. How many people did it take to make the baby? Two. How many people will it take to raise this baby? Two. How many people get to decide on the name? TWO. OOP's only comment on the thread (retrieved via rareddit): MaxScar: YTA. You knew what that name meant to him yet you came it idiotic. That's hurtful. You could have just said it wasn't a good idea. To the point of the name I think you are overreacting. Yes, that guy was a bad person, but at this point it had already been a long time. By the time your child is older nobody's going to remember that guy. It's just a name, and putting what strangers think over your husband is terrible. OOP: Ted Bundy is in textbooks. He is definitely still being taught about in schools, our niece (high school junior) recently had a lesson pertaining to him and other infamous figures from the 70s and 80s. I don’t want my child to be relentlessly harassed. I also don’t want my child to share a name with a rapist and serial murderer. -------------------- UPDATE AND FINAL EDIT (Posted around 4 days later on the same post): So, I tried to make an update post but decided to just throw my update in here. Essentially, my husband stayed with his brother and SIL for a night and they talked it out. His brother was also very close with their grandpa, so I think hearing the same logic from someone grieving just as much knocked some sense into him. They explained why he couldn’t just name his kid Teddy Bounde, and especially because we live in the western US, in one of the states where he operated, and was also caught, imprisoned, and escaped. I don’t even think it’s legal to use that name. We spoke briefly on the phone before he came home, where I apologized for how rude I was when he kept suggesting the name. I explained that I was just stressed that he was seemingly overlooking just how bad it would be to have a kid with the same name as a very notorious serial killer, and I didn’t feel listened to. He apologized as well, telling me that his grief was clouding his judgment and that he also understands why we can’t give our child grandpa’s name. While we did want to keep the gender a surprise, we felt like we had to look at the ultrasound to help hash this out. We are having a baby boy, and decided to give him grandpa’s middle name, Silas. Our son will have the name Silas Bounde. We’ve also decided to go through with marriage counseling, as well as grief counseling for my husband. He’s asked me to attend, and I’m sure I could learn how to be more compassionate about his loss. I was never too close with my grandparents, so I’m trying to be here for him but can’t empathize as well as I could. All in all, this worked out. Thank you so so much for everyone who gave their opinions, you really helped us out here. This will be my final update, I’m going to be deleting this account as I’ve already doxxed myself enough, and I’ve also been sent links to articles and videos that people have started using this story in. (I have not been asked for any of them and just want to be off the grid now.) Once again, thank you all so much. This was such a wild thing that I honestly never thought would happen, but yeah. I’m so glad this has been worked through. Thank you everyone. -------------------- ***REMINDER: This is a repost sub. I am not the OOP.**\* submitted by /u/MissBarker93 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_Product Originally posted to r/relationship_advice My (M39) wife (38F) has become fixated on her dead husband since getting pregnant with our first baby. How do I bring this up without hurting her? Editor's note: made small edits for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: grief, depression Original Post: May 24, 2026 My wife and I have been together for almost 4 years, and married for a year. She's 16 weeks pregnant with our first baby. Since becoming pregnant, she seems to have become sort of fixated on her deceased first husband and I don't know how to talk about this with her without hurting her or making it sound like I'm jealous of a dead guy. Her first husband died in a motorcycle accident in late 2020. He was only 34. They had been trying for a baby at the time. She wasn't looking for a relationship when we started dating. She lived around the corner from my parents and walked her dog every morning and every night. My parents became friendly with her and decided that they should play matchmaker after I made a comment about thinking she was really cute when I was over at their house one day and saw her walking her dog. She was really open with me about everything that had happened with her first husband. I understood that it was a huge part of her life and never expected her to erase that part of her history or pretend like he never existed. He has come up occasionally, but not constantly. It seemed normal to me. Something has changed since she got pregnant. At least, I think it's only been happening since then. I've noticed her frequently looking at old pictures of him on her phone, looking him up online, and just sitting here looking at the street view of the house they used to share. She's bringing him up a lot more often, just making a lot of offhanded comments about things they did together. This week she asked if we could use his name for our baby's middle name. We are probably not going to find out if it's a boy or girl until they're born, but his name was unisex so could go either way. She said she knows not the first name, like she's really prefer to ask for that but knows that'd be going too far. I told her I'd have to think about it, but inside my initial reaction was absolutely not. I genuinely feel terrible for this guy. He honestly sounds like somebody I'd like to hang out with. What happened to him is unfair. I guess I should be happy because I'm alive, I have a wife I love, we're starting a family, and this poor guy isn't going to have any of that. So, is it really a big deal if I let her use his name? It's just weird and sort of hurtful for me though. This should be a happy time for us, but for some reason she's being pulled back into all of her memories of him. I want to bring it up to her. I don't think she realizes I've seen what she's been looking at on her phone every day. I've not been snooping. When she's sitting so that I can see her phone when she's using it, it's hard to miss what she's looking at. She's been extremely emotional for the past 4 months, so I'm worried that bringing this up won't go over well and I don't want to upset her. I also don't want to come across as an insecure jerk who is jealous of a dead man. How can I bring all of this up with her in the most sensitive way possible while also not just giving in to this whole name thing just because I feel bad? Editor’s note: OOP has made lots of responses, listing the significant information here Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I'm sorry you're going through this. I do not say this to imply your relationship is on the rocks, but rather because it's quite likely to help. You need couples therapy and she may need grief therapy. There is a good chance your wife wrote off ever being able to have a baby when her first husband died, and then, when she got pregnant with you, she feels like she did the thing she tried to do for him as well. Dating after loss is different, because you aren't, or at least shouldn't be, expected to stop loving the one you lost. It can be a difficult thing for the new person, and I don't think she's trying to make you uncomfortable, but this is an incredibly emotional time in both your lives. OOP: Yeah I don't think she's trying to make me uncomfortable either. When we were dating it was acknowledged by both of us that neither of us has done this before. She hadn't dated anyone else after he died and I've never dated anyone who had her previous partner die. After a while maybe I just felt like we had navigated it and it's not really something that I ever think about now. Commenter 2: Grief is different for everyone. Maybe getting pregnant triggered thoughts of the ex, and the baby they'll never have now that he's gone. She could have hormones making her extra emotional, too. I would be supportive and patient, and allow some time for her to process what could be 'what might have been" thoughts. Maybe gently offer if she might want to talk to someone neutral to help her with this? OOP: I agree with you. I understand why it might have triggered something, but at the same time I guess there's part of me that's wondering if she's really wishing she was doing all of this with him. I don't feel insecure about her previous relationship, but doesn't make me feel great when I find myself wondering if she had to pick, would she pick him? That's how her staring at pictures of him every day is making me feel. OOP on if this was the first time his wife feels like she betraying her late husband OOP: This isn't the first time we've encountered something together where she feels like she's betraying him. Somehow that was easier for me to deal with. Sex was a big thing because she hadn't been with anyone else after him and she was honest about feeling like she'd be cheating on him, so that had to go very slow for her. It wasn't so difficult to be respectful of that and be patient, but then again it was much earlier in our relationship. Is OOP feeling insecure about his relationship with his wife due to her thoughts about her last husband? OOP: In general I don't feel insecure about our relationship. I'm only human though and I don't know of many people who might not feel a little hurt to see their wife suddenly constantly staring at pictures of her former husband who died and bringing him up in the majority of conversations. So yeah, I've had thoughts where I've wondered if she's really wishing she was going this with him instead. I'm not acting on those feelings or holding anything against her. I'm not upset at her about it. I don't doubt that she loves me. I'm worried about her. And yeah, I want us to be happy together right now. I don't want her grief overshadowing this whole experience for us, and maybe that's selfish. I won't try to tell her how to feel or tell her she can't be sad. I think sometimes you can't really help how you feel, but just depends how you act on it. If I tried to make her stop bringing him up or stop looking at him, then that'd be another issue. Commenter 3: While I don’t think the child should have this guy’s name even as a middle what is going on is totally expected given her situation. She was trying to get pregnant when her late husband had his accident so of course now that she’s pregnant those memories and feelings will come back tenfold. Plus those pregnancy hormones are no joke. Has she been through grief therapy before? If not, I highly suggest she start and it can’t hurt for you both to do some couples therapy as well. OOP: No, she won't go to any sort of therapy. OOP on his wife's history with her late husband OOP: They were together 8 years, but knew each other since they were kids. She told me she waited 10 years for him to finally notice her in the way she wanted him to notice her, so he was like her childhood crush. I can't compete with that. It doesn't matter if he was alive or not, we just have a different history. Commenter 4: Question: what grief help did she receive after the passing of her husband? He died late 2020 and started dating you about 2ish years later? I’m not saying she moved on quickly because I’ve seen people successfully maneuver new relationships a variety of years after a passing of a significant other. But since they had been trying to have a baby when he passed, it’s likely the pregnancy triggered a lot of emotions. I also find her parents intervention to find her a new romance concerning since she hasn’t been necessarily ready. I have other concerns related to this, but we’ll focus on the major issue at hand. Working through the pregnancy and what it may trigger related to her deceased husband. Be honest and say: I realize you and your husband had planned to have kids at the time of his passing, and I want to see how the pregnancy is impacting you emotionally. You asking to use his name as the middle name of our child made me want to talk about this more. Before we talk too much about this, it may be helpful to talk with your ob-gynecologist about your feelings to get guidance from them on if maybe you should talk to a grief counselor or if we should talk to a couples counselor about this. The naming request is a lot for me to understand, and I would love some help to talk through this with you. Try to keep it as nonjudgmental as possible. Try to keep in focused on hearing each other, maybe after one or both of you talk to someone else to help you put your thoughts into constructive words. Try to keep it empathetic. Good luck. You sound like you’re being truly patient and loving. I don’t think your wife is being mean either. She’s just feeling all the feelings. OOP: She didn't get any professional help. She's very resistant to it. I've never tried to push her to do it and on the outside she seemed to be handling it ok. I've let her know that it's okay to go to therapy, just tried to get rid of some sort of stigma she seems to feel about it. I think that comes from her family. Her parent's didn't intervene to find her a new relationship. It was my parents that did, but they didn't know what had happened to her. After he died, she ended up selling their house because it was too sad for her being there alone and she couldn't afford the mortgage all on her own. She bought a smaller house on her own, and that house happened to be around the corner from my parents' house. She walked her dog twice a day, every day, and she'd pass my parents’ house each time. My parents are retired and the type of people that want to strike up a conversation with everyone, so they became friendly with her, and she'd usually stop and talk to them for a few minutes on her walks if they were outside. I made no secret them that I thought she and her little dog were really cute, so my parents decided to get involved set us up to have to talk to each other one day. She didn't tell them about what had brought her to live there and if they'd known that they probably wouldn't have decided to get involved. She said she wasn't looking to date anyone, and I didn't force her to get involved with me. It went extremely slow in the beginning because we had to go at her pace and I respected that. I don't regret not removing myself from the situation, but maybe it was way too soon for her, and I should have just not perused anything.   Update: May 26, 2026 (two days later) Update - My (M39) wife (38F) has become fixated on her dead husband since getting pregnant with our first baby. How do I bring this up without hurting her? I’m posting a quick update post because I’m continuing to get new comments and advice on my original post, but the conversation I was seeking advice for has already sort of come to a head with my wife. I appreciate the comments and the advice that was given and I think it helped prepare me for what came next yesterday evening. We originally had several parties to go to on Memorial Day, but yesterday morning she told me she didn’t feel up to going. I realized it was probably the best segway I was going to get in asking her about what’s going on. So I asked her what’s wrong, what’s going on, and to please talk to me. She said nothing was wrong and she just didn’t want to go anywhere, she didn’t want to get dressed, and she wanted to stay home in bed all day. She switched the topic to her bump and how excited she is that it’s suddenly popped out, and she really looks pregnant now. It looked flat forever and she’s been anxiously waiting for there to be something there, and it really seems like overnight it’s become very obvious and she can’t get over it. I don’t like calling it a bump but what else is there to call it? I don’t know, bump sounds gross to me and not like a word an adult man should be saying. Anyway, she said she just wanted it to be us that day and she wanted to cuddle in bed and have sex all day. That’s literally what she said. So much for me getting her to talk about how she’s been feeling. She does that when she’s uncomfortable with a topic somebody’s brought up. She switches topics to something happy and cheerful. But she genuinely seemed happy and it was sort of a hard offer to turn down so I decided not to push her because I know her well enough to know it won’t work. Later in the afternoon she decided to get up and take a shower. When she got out she told me she didn’t want me to be mad, but she really felt like she wanted to go over to her former husband’s parents’ house to tell them about the baby. She felt like she should tell them in person and like it was just something she needed to do. We hadn’t talked about him or the name or anything that day but obviously this has been on her mind and maybe she was feeling guilt about how his family might feel. I’ve met his parents. They’re super cool. Well his dad’s a little scary and threatened to kill me if I hurt her but you can tell they genuinely love her and she’s part of that family. I asked her if she wanted me to come with her. I wasn’t trying to force myself into the situation but wanted to offer just in case she wanted my support. I didn’t felt like I needed to be there. She said she just wanted to go alone, and I was fine with that. She was gone for several hours. When she came home her face and eyes were all red and puffy and as soon as she walked in the door she hugged me and just started sobbing and apologizing and saying she was so sorry, this isn’t fair to me, she doesn’t want to hurt me, but she misses him so bad right now and she can’t stop thinking about him doesn’t know why. I told her I know that I noticed and it’s ok. I can’t pretend to fully understand it because I’m not her and I’ve never been in her position. I felt like she wanted to talk but didn’t want to say too much to me because she didn’t want to hurt me. I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened at his parents’ house. She said both of his parents were so happy for her/us, they both cried, she cried about how much she missed him and that they were saying really nice things about me. She said she just had to feel close to him and she can’t imagine how horrible that is for me to hear. She gave most of his stuff to his parents once we moved in together. I didn’t make her give away his belongings. She held onto everything after he died, literally anything and everything, and it would have been awkward living amongst all his things. I mean, she still had his 3 motorcycles, including the one he died on, sitting in her garage at that time. So, I’m not just talking some little momentos or clothes. She said she was ready to release those things at the time. She gave the motorcycles to his parents because they had the room to store them and his dad rides so they wouldn’t just waste away. That was something special between him and his dad, so she knew they’d be taken care of. She told me she asked to see his bikes when she was over at his parents’ house, because that was like his second greatest love and they were custom made and everything. She started sobbing all over again telling me they got rid of the one he died on. She wishes they would have told her. It was too hard for them to see it every day, and it wasn’t operable, so they kept the other 2 but got rid of that one, she just sat sobbing saying it wasn’t fair that they didn’t tell her and wanted it. She doesn’t ride motorcycles btw. But she was already online trying to track it down and talking about buying it back. It feels a little unhealthy to me here. His parents live in the same little neighborhood where the house they owned together was. So she said she drove by there, then she drove to where he died, which was only 5 minutes away from their house. I generally don’t try to impose on her grief or tell her how she should handle things. Honestly, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her cry like this over it and rarely have I ever felt like what she’s saying or doing is at a level of concern. But this time I really felt like she was just torturing herself and it didn’t really seem healthy. Literally searching online to see if she could find his bike, revisiting where he died. Idk know because I admit I’ve never lost anyone remotely that close to me before. The whole time she’s crying about this she’s saying she’s a horrible wife and she understands if I want to leave her, she doesn’t know why this is happening. All she can think about is his death. I told her maybe she should try thinking about positive things, even going somewhere that has some sort of positive connotation rather than where he died. I’m not leaving her over this, and I feel so bad that she’s seriously worried I’d leave her because of this, and when she’s pregnant with my kid of all times. I’m a little too committed now to back out. I accepted this, and was aware of it and accepted it multiple times as our relationship progressed. There were multiple points when I could have backed out, and I let her know all this. But I was also honest and let her know that I also hope that we can get through this so we can enjoy this experience together and that if there’s anything I can do to please let me help her. Not get over it, but get through it and be able to be happy. At this point, what more can I do? I think I just need to continue to focus on the positive things that we’re doing together and hope that she’ll engage in those things with me and that her grief doesn’t swallow her up. I’ve made her aware that I’m here if she wants to talk. I doubt that makes her feel any less guilty for whatever thoughts she’s having, but how else can I show her that I mean it? I think this maybe just something we need to ride out. I’m scared I’ll push her away if I start trying to demand she goes to grief counseling. It’s probably be good for her, but I know her and how she reacts to that type of stuff. I don’t think I’ll bring up the name thing anytime soon, but I’m going to try to find it in myself to let her use the name if it’ll really mean that much to her. I won’t promise it right now, but I realize maybe I am being selfish with that one. At least it’s not a name that I hate. Editor’s note: OOP has made lots of responses, listing the significant information here Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I know people say it a lot, but this is where therapy could really help. OOP: I know, but she’s really resistant to it. I don’t think trying to force her would do any good right now and would only stress her out more. Commenter 2: You are going to get to a point where it's therapy or your new family and ignoring it sucks. Getting it now prevents her from robbing from herself the experience she's having now and the baby she's having now and who she's having it with. OOP (downvoted): There have been other times where she’s had a hard time dealing with what happened and she got through it. It’s never been this bad as far as I’m aware. OOP on his wife needing to receive proper care to help with moving forward OOP: She’s not anti-medicine, just anti therapy. Well she’s not against other people seeking therapy, she just refuses to accept it could be good for her. + OOP: I don’t really believe that grief counseling is a must for everyone who experiences loss. Honestly, she seemed to be handling it in a way that I guess I’d expect somebody to. It obviously affected her and there were certain times in our relationship where it was a lot heavier for her than others, but she seemed to be doing pretty well. It’s not like I’ve done this before either. I was probably naive about everything I was walking into, and I guess still am to a large degree. Commenter 3: How long ago did her husband die? OOP: About 5.5 years ago. Commenter 4: This is way above your and reddits pay grade. She needs therapy. It will only get worse when the baby gets here - in the form of PPD or PPA. OOP: I’m not expecting professional level advice here really. I don’t think it’s at the point where I need to or should try to force her to get therapy. Many people have suggested it to her. She’s really resistant to it. I think it could get to that point but not yet. Commenter 5: What’s the plan for when baby is born and she isn’t mentally well enough to handle caring for baby round the clock? Do you have ample paternity leave, at least 2 months’ worth? Will she be staying home alone with baby, or will baby be going to daycare? If she refuses to get help, you need to start putting safeguards in place now to make sure baby is taken care of just in case things go downhill fast. OOP: I have 24 total weeks of leave I can take. OOP on if his wife could go to the grave to help with grieving OOP: It’d probably help if there was a grave to go to. His ashes actually live inside her dresser drawer. Commenter 6: Also living in the same house I’m assuming? Living close to his parents, trying to help her find the motorcycle he was killed on, all bad ideas. Therapy and a new home always from the deceased parents, would help her more than anything. That doesn’t mean she can never see her ex in laws, but the fact is they two are trying to recuperate. They two are trying to get past losing their son and when she comes over or they come to your house then all this comes up again and so then everybody’s crying and upset and then they start all over again and that’s not good. It’s better to move away a little bit. You don’t have to move. You know 100 miles or anything but just a little bit enough that she just doesn’t wanna just run over there every time she’s feeling bad. I don’t know how long you neglected to put how long her husband has been dead that has a big bearing on her recovery from his death. If you can let us know how long he’s been deceased. OOP: We don’t live in the house they shared. I don’t think I’d ever want to do that. She had already sold the house when I met her. She couldn’t afford the mortgage on her own. She bought a smaller house near where my parents live, which is how we met. We lived separately and then when we got engaged I ended up moving out of my place and moving into her house so we could fix it up together to sell. We bought a new house together. It’s all in the same city, but we’re in a different area than where she lived with her first husband. It’s about a 20 minute drive away, so she doesn’t have to pass the spot where he died on a regular basis or anything. We’re both from here and we looked at other towns nearby, but we prefer the city we’re from. Commenter 7: Damn dude, I am proud to share a gender with a class act like you. Take care of yourself, but I now will be pumping the breaks on actively being MORE ok with dating and marrying a widow verses...doesn't even matter, but I never imagined a situation could blossom like yours and my heart goes out to you. OOP: The thing is, it hasn’t been like this for our entire relationship. He’s come up, certain things have been sort of triggering for her, but usually she tells me and it’s not at this level. The topic of our wedding and wedding day was difficult for her. But she didn’t have this huge breakdown. She was up front that as much as she was excited for us to get married, part of her felt weird getting married again because he first marriage didn’t end in a traditional way. She was honest that she didn’t know if she wanted this huge wedding, but she understood if I wanted something bigger because it was my wedding too. I understood and I didn’t really care about having this lavish thing. I just wanted our friends and family there and for everyone to have fun, not this big spectacle. We planned it just how we wanted it and so many people told us it’s the most fun wedding they’ve been to. We worked through those things that were difficult for her and we both compromised. It’s not like her history isn’t there, but it’s just never been like this before.   Latest Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Meat sauce over baby spinach because it gives a nice chroinsch 🤌 and I hate myself too much to allow carbs. Today would’ve been my one year wedding anniversary. —— I met a mean girl, but at first she wasn’t mean at all. She was perfectly sweet. And she had actually found me. It was the pandemic. Everyone lived online then. I moderated a chatroom for queer women. One night, a girl named Elise messaged me and asked if she was allowed to talk to me. Before I could answer, she said that if I had any interest in a bi-curious girl stranded in rural Alabama, I should text her. I did. I met up with a mean girl in real life, but she was just tired. I picked cotton on my way to see her where we met at a cabin. I cried the whole way home. I fell in love with a mean girl, though mostly she was only petty. Some nights we stayed awake until sunrise just talking. She loved to talk. Those nights were rare because she had a baby boy. We would visit each other when we could. I moved across the country to be with a mean girl, and when I arrived she was only a little catty, and suspicious of me. We made love constantly. I lived in the middle of nowhere among stray dogs, collapsing houses, and the distant percussion of gunshots ringing through the dark. Cars screamed through late-night meetups, tires scratching at the quiet like they were trying to tear the night sky open, and somewhere in all of it, I fell in love with her differently. I fell in love with her son, too. I lived with a mean girl, though she was only mean when I deserved it. So I tried harder. I tried to learn how to parent. I touched her constantly but rarely let her touch me back because I only wanted to please her. I cooked dinner and cleaned the house and did the laundry and earned the money. I entertained the children and kissed the bruises and was part of the village. She smelled like lavender at nighttime after I would read to him. By then, he had known me for half of his life. I married a mean girl on June 1. By then she was mean all the time. She came home after an argument one day with ligature marks around her neck. She went to the hospital. I don’t know why they let her out. Sometimes she scratched at the spare bedroom door while I locked myself behind it. She would scream. I worried about her waking him up. Did you know that violence that is heard but not seen is worse? A child’s imagination runs wild, and it always imagines the worst. I left a mean girl, and her son. Now life is easy but hollowed out. I would trade almost anything—my pride, my dignity, even a slap across the face—for one more ordinary hour of that life. To crawl into bed behind her and put my face in the crook of her neck and breathe her in like eating air. She was nice when she was sleeping. I loved a mean girl, and now my heart lives outside my body, away from home. I wonder if we will run into each other at the supermarket. I would run to him because he is the best parts of her. submitted by /u/orphan_blud to r/GirlDinnerDiaries [link] [comments]