Chore Chart

... X-axis will be rotated and chart size will adjust automatically. 📋... messages with feat: , fix: , or chore: .

... two theme parks. "The point chart is too high!" Let’s revisit... the new Boardwalk Tower point chart drops. Even today, I’ll happily... resort where it's not a chore to get food or a...

so are we all pretending that big sunday night talk and the whole chore chart signup thing never happened or is there a secret extra job on there written in invisible ink where i breathe down your necks until anything gets done

... bij borstvoeding. Ik heb een "chore chart" op de koelkast hangen waarop...

... handle. On the fridge, the chore chart had Monday through Sunday in ... under the faucet instead. The chore chart said dishes rinsed after breakfast, ...

... handle. On the fridge, the chore chart had Monday through Sunday in ... under the faucet instead. The chore chart said dishes rinsed after breakfast, ...

...(autodiscovery/flux): skip HelmRelease without chart template to avoid nil pointer....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8709) - chore(deps): update github.com/Masterminds....5.0 @olblak (#8699) - chore(deps): bump github.com/go-git....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8671) - chore(ci): upgrade uv version @....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8544) - chore: update updatecli version and streamline...

...(autodiscovery/flux): skip HelmRelease without chart template to avoid nil pointer....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8709) - chore(deps): update github.com/Masterminds....5.0 @olblak (#8699) - chore(deps): bump github.com/go-git....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8671) - chore(ci): upgrade uv version @....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8544) - chore: update updatecli version and streamline...

...(autodiscovery/flux): skip HelmRelease without chart template to avoid nil pointer....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8709) - chore(deps): update github.com/Masterminds....5.0 @olblak (#8699) - chore(deps): bump github.com/go-git....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8671) - chore(ci): upgrade uv version @....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8544) - chore: update updatecli version and streamline...

...(autodiscovery/flux): skip HelmRelease without chart template to avoid nil pointer....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8709) - chore(deps): update github.com/Masterminds....5.0 @olblak (#8699) - chore(deps): bump github.com/go-git....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8671) - chore(ci): upgrade uv version @....com/apps/updateclibot) (#8544) - chore: update updatecli version and streamline...

... them Well purely from a chart game perspective I feel you... you mean purely from a chart perspective but not from a ... think the song is a chore to listen to, but I ...

... features that enhances pie chart. Enables donut chart Set legend position Highlight... 📏 Design Decisions Enables donut chart Add innerHole property on pieConfig... the legend, relative to the chart. Default to right. Set legend ... messages with feat: , fix: , or chore: .

... year I set up a chore chart, google reminders, and evening routine...

24 inch Digital Calendar Chore Chart – Interactive Touchscreen，Hearth Display Desk Digital Calendar Seamless Scheduling Black [amazon.com] $285.10

... I came home to a chore. Idiot dog. I scored some ... I may pull out the chart pack and start planning.

... #7587 5e7eb62 Thanks @MaddyGuthridge! - chore: drop lodash-es in favour of... alphaNumToken grammar rule. Fixes Quadrant Chart render fail #7120. #7737 4755553... #7587 5e7eb62 Thanks @MaddyGuthridge! - chore: drop lodash-es in favour of... alphaNumToken grammar rule. Fixes Quadrant Chart render fail #7120. #7737 4755553...

... focus. you could make a chore chart that initiates him into your ...

... Adds legends for named XY chart line and bar series. Authors... a minor changeset. Screenshots Full chart with legend: Legend detail: Disclaimer.... to help inspect Mermaid's XY chart and pie legend implementations, draft... messages with feat: , fix: , or chore: . Made with Cursor

... react blindly to a dropping chart because the system has already... is no longer a stressful chore, but an intuitive habit that...

This thing is perfect for our family. Thanks for all the hard work. Combines our paper weekly chore chart, a marble jar for complements & getting along with the brother, and our school behavior chart in a single, smart, and fun interface our young children are excited about. So refreshing! Is there an exposed service to ‘clear applied’ bonuses/points through an automation/script?

This thing is perfect for our family. Thanks for all the hard work. Combines our paper weekly chore chart, a marble jar for complements & getting along with the brother, and our school behavior chart in a single, smart, and fun interface our young children are excited about. So refreshing! Is there an exposed service to ‘clear applied’ bonuses/points through an automation/script?

... chart system tied to drinking, making it a game rather than a chore...

...web listeners #8493 Upgrade vector chart from 0.42.0 to...52.0 #8404 Upgrade ingress-nginx chart from 4.10.0 to...consolidated config path #6716 Dependencies chore(deps): bump traefik from v3...15 in /plugins/traefik-vhosts #8541 chore(deps): bump github.com/...0 in /plugins/scheduler-k3s #8495 chore(deps): bump dokku/openresty-docker-proxy from...0 in /plugins/openresty-vhosts #8494 chore(deps): bump k8s.io/...

Hey everyone! So, I’ve been diving deep into my homelab lately, and I can’t help but wonder: at what point does this fun little project turn into a chore or even a full-on job? It all started small and innocent, and now look at the behemoth I have created. Do I still enjoy it? Of course I do! Everything is fully automated, to the point where I can PM an IRC-bot to trigger an agentic workflow, capable of upgrading my k3s apps and helm charts by directly managing my gitops repo. It can even create new apps since everything is templated. At least for now, maintenance is not a huge time sink because of that. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Is there a tipping point where your passion project feels more like a job? Or have I just crossed that line for some? :D Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! submitted by /u/TheRealRatler to r/homelab [link] [comments]

i made this on word and laminated it! the back is a chart of stuff i have in the fridge with dates i purchased + expiration dates :)) i can send a .doc file if anyone’s interested in copying mine! submitted by /u/mechaemissary to r/AutisticAdults [link] [comments]

I manually filled out this table with what I spend my time with between 2024. Nov. 10. and 2025. Dec. 31. I saw others do it on here on Reddit and wanted to give it a go myself. One of the reasons I did it was because this was my last year of being a university student, from this year onward I will join the working adult population. Until now, my lifestyle could be described as 'terminally online', I'm the typical cellar dwelling discord moderator type. I wanted to erect this spreadsheet as a memorial and perhaps a period-document to this lifestyle that I now have to part ways with. I am only posting it now, a month after the project has ended, because I was busy in January with my final exam. The diagrams on the third panel only include data from days in 2025. I gladly answer any question in the comments but I'm adding a FAQ here based on a previous post: How much time did it take to make this? - It took around 3-4 hours to set up the spreadsheet with the functions and colours and stuff, I made minor edits later, which took probably an additional 2-3 hours. On a daily basis, entering the actual data took less than 2 minutes in total. To get it in tip-top shape for posting in the end, it took another 8 hours. Working on this project is classified under category Ga (personal projects). How often did I enter data? - When I was near my computer, I sometimes entered them every 30 minutes, but more often in small bunches. When I wasn't near my computer, which for me is quite rare, I just remembered everything I did until I could enter it again. Was this difficult to do? - Not really, the difficult part is constantly being aware of the time and what I am doing and remembering it for hours. The habit itself is easy to pick up but comes with a non-zero constant mental weight. Near the end of it, I grew quite tired of it and wished I could 'take a day off' here and there, so I'm glad it's finally over. I might do it again another year in the future. Am I autistic, neurodivergent, or otherwise mentally ill? - Maybe, possibly, not diagnosed though. I am actually doing fine now. Where do I live? - A village in rural Hungary. What did I learn from this, would I do something differently? - I expected the result to be bleaker, I'm actually not doing that bad. I will make changes going forward obviously, and this is largely because I have no choice to do otherwise. I will have a job now (hopefully) and it will govern most of my routine, I will have to do with as much free time as I have left, which I hope to spend with the things that bring me the most joy. Is a template for this available for people who want to try doing this too? - Yes, I've made a blank template that I'll send to anyone who asks for it in private messages. submitted by /u/tamarissz to r/dataisbeautiful [link] [comments]

Often I see feminists complain that relationships with men will never be 50/50 because women do so much domestic labor and men do not do much at all in the home. I thought for about 4 seconds how horrible that must be but then I came up with the bright idea of putting all this "labor" onto a chart that is tracked and each person can know what responsibilities they are and are not upholding in the household. So my question for women who feel like men don't do enough labor in the home, why not use a chore chart so he can see where he is failing as a man? submitted by /u/Existing-Ant552 to r/PurplePillDebate [link] [comments]

I met my wife in college and she was soon pregnant after we graduated. We moved in together and it was decided that she will not look for a job until she after she gave birth. Our daughter was born and my wife was a SAHM for the first two years. We had a lot of fight about the chore splitting. I was very overwhelmed coming home and having to do a ton of chores after work and also spend time with our daughter . This has gotten worse as our daughter has gotten older and is a little tornado The biggest issue was she wouldn’t pick up at all especially in the kitchen. That ment I would come home clean the kitchen, cook and then clean the kitchen again. The have to go around and clean up the days activities. We argued about this a lot and her stance was she watches our kid all day long so I can clean up more when I get home. In the end I gave in and we made an official chore chart. Her- watch kid, do laundry and grocery shopping, appointments Me- dinner, everyday cleaning ( whipping down counter, picking up toys, sweeping, etc) , trash, meal prep and nighttime routine ( bath etc) In the summer, my company informed me that I would be let go around Thanksgiving. We talked in over and my wife found a job and would be the main breadwinner for the time being. I was to watch our daughter and I am in an online master program. At the moment I am watching our daughter and doing my master program. I personally have now been having any issues but my wife is. She hates having to come home and do chores and clean up after us. I actually leave it cleaner than what she has left me. ( I put dishes in the dishwasher throughout the day) We have been arguing about this constantly. She thinks it is unfair she has to do chores after working all day and me pointing out this this literally what I have done for the past two years and keep pointing at the chore chart She says she is the breadwinner now and I shouldn’t have to do this and I pointed out I was the breadwinner before to begin with and did this all. That I am watching our daughter and doing a program. She claims I am being unfair, since I refuse to change the chore chart becuase it is literally what I have done for two years. My friend have opinions on this so I need a outsider opinion submitted by /u/Odd_Serve1167 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/informmack Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes I told my husband I don’t trust him and now I don’t know what to do now Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, weaponized incompetence Mood Spoilers: frustrating Original Post: December 7, 2025 Long time listener and first time reddit OP. I’m sorry this will be on the longer side. So my husband (27M) and I (26F) have been together for 6 years, married for about 8 months. Important context for our relationship: We met when I was in undergrad and my husband was working full time. Before, my husband was the primary earner of our house (paying our rent and utilities and groceries) while I focused on keeping the house (cooking dinners, cleaning, laundry, errands, etc.). Fast forward to now, we both have full time jobs and our salaries are about the same so we are splitting all bills evenly. Well, recently we had a talk about how I felt as though the mental and physical responsibilities of the house still fall primarily on me even though we agreed that the dynamic would change when I started contributing more financially. I still plan and cook most nights (4-5 days a week if we don’t meal prep), I “shut down” the house at night (clean the kitchen, put dishes in the sink/dishwasher, pick up our mess and the cat toys, etc.), I do the laundry and bathroom cleaning, and basically everything else. I have been very open throughout our relationship about how I don’t want our relationship/marriage to be one where the wife carries the mental load for the entire family while the man only acts as the breadwinner and doesn’t help at all until she inevitably has a mental breakdown or is pushed to divorce. I witnessed how damaging this can be with my own mom and dad and I refuse to repeat that. We hardly ever fight, but almost all of our arguments have been on this topic. I’ve broken down in tears from exhaustion or from feelings of being overwhelmed trying to balance school, multiple jobs, and everything at home, and yet…nothing really changes. My husband has been seemingly very open and receptive of these conversations and is always says he will do better to take more off of my plate, but this only lasts a few days or weeks before we fall into old habits and I am doing it all myself. So, the most recent argument. On our usual after work phone call, I asked my husband to stop at the store and pick up a few ingredients for dinner that I had forgotten when I went grocery shopping. All we needed was ground beef, a can of tomatoes, and milk. When he got to the store, he asked me to remind him what we needed and after he said “okay, so pasta for dinner? That’s easy. I can cook it since you cooked yesterday” and I said “Thank you. I have a migraine and really don’t want to cook anyways so that is perfect.” So he gets home about 30 minutes later and starts unloading the groceries. I ask “Where are the tomatoes?” he said “I forgot them” I said “Okay…should I go back to the store because we can’t make a sauce without a base and we have nothing else prepped for dinner.” he said “No, I forgot them so I’ll go back.” So he goes back to the store. At this point, it is almost 7:00 and I am super hungry. I decided to start the pasta on my own because at this point, he wouldn’t be back for another 30 minutes which means dinner wouldn’t be done for at least another hour. He comes home and says “I thought I was cooking?” and I explained the timing issue and how I needed to eat to take my migraine medicine anyways so this way we can eat earlier. His response: “This is the f***** problem. You always ask me to step in and help take the burden off of you but then you do it before I can. Or if I do help, you stand there and micromanage everything that I’m doing. It’s like you don’t trust me to do anything.” I know this isn’t AITAH but this is where I might be the a******. My response: “I don’t trust you. I mean I trust you in the big ways, like I trust you to be honest and loyal and take care of me and our cats and I would literally put my life in your hands. But on the day to day small stuff, I feel like I can’t trust you at all. You keep saying you are going to help out around here but you constantly forget things I ask from you or claim you never heard me say it in the first place, especially if it was simple something around the house. I mean jesus, you can’t even remember a can of tomatoes 5 minutes after I asked you to grab them.” He was quiet for a minute, said “Then why did you marry me?” in the most heartbreaking voice ever and left the room crying. I finished cooking, packed it away in the fridge with a note that said “I’m sorry”, made a bowl cereal, and ate it on the couch (where I slept that night). I know my delivery was harsh and I probably took it too far, but how else can I get it across that I need him to do better? I’m not asking him to take over the entire mental or physical load, I would just appreciate coming home to dinner cooking or the apartment clean every once in a while like he gets to come home to almost every single day. I love this man more than anything in the world but don’t know how much longer I can play this “I promise I can do better” game. I am so tired. Relevant Comments OOP provides answers in a comment based on common questions asked here OOP: I don’t know what I was expecting the comments to look like but I would like to address some of the common ones I am seeing: 1) I texted him a list when I initially asked him to go to the store. The phone call was just a reminder since we were already talking when he got to the grocery store. 2) We both have ADHD. We both forget things all the time and usually there are no issues but in this case I think there is a difference between forgetting the only 3 items for a whole trip vs. 3 things from an entire list of ingredients for two weeks’ worth of breakfasts, lunches and dinners along with the rest of the grocery list. I do my best to remember everything for every meal but occasionally I forget things. When this happens, I usually would go to the store myself since I was the one who forgot the ingredients in the first place but I had a migraine and just wanted to go home after work. On that same note, all of the comments telling me to sit down and make a chore chart act like I haven’t already tried that. We had set days for meals he would cook and had a list of chores he was responsible for, but after a week or two, he would stop. Like he wouldn’t do the dishes or take out the trash until they were overflowing, or he would be on a game that he couldn’t pause so I should just make dinner without him and we would be right back to square 1. 3) I don’t micromanage or undermine him. When I ask him to do things, I usually ask him to do it before we go to bed (which means he has 4-6 hours at night or the entire day on the weekends) or I ask him if he’s at a good point to pause his game and do it quickly and if not, whenever he has a break. If he doesn’t do it that day or the next day I don’t think I am out of line for doing it myself because at that point, who knows when it is going to get done. Letting my house get gross to prove a point just means more work for me to do later. 4) A lot of people told me to just stop complaining and hire a maid. We don’t make money like that. I get maids aren’t crazy expensive, but I have extensive medical bills and we both have student loan/credit card debt so we don’t have a lot of extra in our budget. Also, we shouldn’t have to hire someone to do basic chores that we are both fully capable of doing ourselves. It would take us an hour on the weekends (deep cleaning) and maybe 20 minutes a night for daily cleaning if we both did our share. 5) I made a mistake. I suffer from chronic migraines so I know the warning signs and I usually have a snack with me or a quick meal that I can make to take my medication with. I thought dinner would be within my window before it was too late and I was wrong. I didn’t eat the dinner after because I was too nauseous. A lot has happened over the weekend so I will post an better update tomorrow. Commenter 1: I think snapping was going to happen eventually. You can only hear the same thing over and over again before you stop believing it. I do, however, really believe you would both benefit from couples therapy. They can help breakdown the communication in a way you can both understand. While what you said was harsh, it doesn’t make it wrong. I hope you’re both able to work through this! OOP: I agree that we could use couples therapy. I feel like I’m not being heard and I’m doing it all and he feels like I am micromanaging and attacking him. I have tried talking about it calmly, even asking for his input on how to improve things so he doesn’t feel like it’s all about what he’s not doing, but at the end of the day, I’m still doing the work of trying to figure out a plan for both of us. I have to be careful about what I say and how I say it so it doesn’t hurt his feelings but that just adds more to my mental load. I feel like a therapist could at least help us figure out what the real underlying issue is in all this because it can’t always be that “he forgot” OOP on having conversations with her husband about splitting chores 50/50 and with him manipulating her to do everything and he does nothing at home OOP: Thank you. A lot of people are saying that I’m in the wrong for being emotional, but like you said, we have had this conversation multiple times. We have talked about it in steps: one conversation was about taking over cooking a few nights a week, another conversation was about splitting weekly chores, another about daily chores, and so on. The problem is that we keep having the same conversations over and over and I get emotional about it every few months because I find myself doing it all even after I talk to him about what I need and how he can better contribute. I understand that some people think that my crying is manipulative as well, but hey, sometimes I cry when I get overwhelmed and I feel like I’m not being heard. Commenter 2: Oh, honey, he manipulated you really well, didn't he? He played the self-pity card and you fell for it. He is not trustworthy. He is not reliable. You are carrying the mental load. He is not trying to do better, he is half-assing everything, so you won't bother to ask him again. OOP: I didn’t want to believe it was manipulation, but after reading these comments, I’m starting to see a pattern. Every time we have one of these conversations or arguments, I am always comforting him because he feels like he is being attacked for not doing enough when he “tries his best”. I’ve always had trouble regulating my emotions so I always assumed I genuinely took things too far or was too harsh so I was likely I’m the wrong but this thread has shown me that I am just easily manipulated.   Update: December 9, 2025 (two days later) UPDATE: I told my husband I don’t trust him and now I don’t know what to do now Thank you to everyone for helping me feel validated in my exhaustion while also calling me out and helping me see my husband’s perspective. Here is the current situation: I flew home for the weekend for a girls trip with my mom and my aunt while my husband stayed home and watched the UFC fight with a few of his friends. Sunday morning, I texted husband to confirm my flight times so he could come pick me up and he said “I’ll be there. We need to talk.” So I land, get my bags, and get to the car and he has flowers for me. He said “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have forgotten the tomatoes.” and I said “Thank you but it wasn’t really about the tomatoes.” and before I could say anything else he goes “I know. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He then goes on to tell me that during the fight, his friends asked where I was and he said “She’s with her family” and they said “ooh are you in trouble?” and he said “Yes” so then he told them all about our fight. Apparently, his friends Chase (35M) and Alex (29 M) (both married) told him that he missed the point and that he was in the wrong. His friend Andrew (28M) was also there but he is not married or dating at the moment so I’m assuming that he opted to stay out of it. He didn’t tell me any other details about their conversation but his conclusion was that he was wrong and needed to apologize for “Whatever the real issue was.” I sat there for a moment looking absolutely shocked. I said “Do you even know what you’re barely apologizing for?” and he said “Yeah, I forget things sometimes and you have do it for me. This time I forgot the tomatoes and you felt like you had to make dinner so you got mad and snapped at me.” I took a few moments to collect myself and fix my WTF face before said “No, the issue is that you don’t listen to me. I was mad about the tomatoes because it was the final straw. You don’t just forget things at the store. You forget to do the things that you’ve agreed to do. How many times do I have to ask you to help me cook or help around the house? How many chore charts and chore lists and to do lists do we have to make for you to actually help with anything?” he got defensive and said “If you reminded me of the things you need me to do, I would do them” to which I said “Thats the problem. Asking you to do things and then having to constantly remind you that you should do them is nagging and exhausting. I need you to remember. Write it down. Set an alarm. Find someway to make it work for you. I can’t keep asking you to step up. I need you to actually step up.” he didn’t say anything for a few minutes so I said “I think we have to go to couples counseling. I don’t think this is something we can solve on our own.” he said “fine” and then drove the rest of the way home in silence. When we got home, he went into his game room and started blasting music. I knocked on the door and asked him if we could finish our conversation and his response was “You already figured it out for us so what else is there to talk about?” I said “This is childish and I’m leaving. You don’t want to figure things out just the two of is and you don’t want to have professional help in communicating. I don’t know what else to do but I can’t do it myself and things can’t stay like this. I’m going to my parent’s house, let me know when you’re ready to talk.” and I left. That was two days ago and I am still at my parent’s house. The only texts and calls I’ve gotten from him are “Where is x?” or “When are you coming back?” I have not responded to the “Where is x?” texts but I told him I will come back when he is ready to talk seriously. No crying, no arguing, just a serious conversation about what the real issue is and how we are going to change things. No responses to that yet. The more I think about this whole situation, the more I realize that I’ve been played this entire relationship. I am always the bad guy, everything is my fault, I am not allowed to be emotional because that hurts his feelings. This along with the weaponized incompetence is too much. I want to have a real conversation with him but history shows it won’t go anywhere. If he doesn’t agree to couples therapy or some other major way to show me that he wants this too, I’m leaving. I’m not going to fight for this on my own. Thank you all for your advice. p.s. I saw a comment about the timing of the posts and figured I should clarify here too. The big fight happened last Thursday, I tried to post the original post on Friday before I left for my trip but it got taken down bc of the formatting (as you can tell, I tend to write a lot so I had block text issues) and so when I reposted it, I didn’t bother changing everything to past tense. I came back from my trip Sunday and posted this update on Tuesday. Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: In the original post, you didn’t mention the previous attempts of lists and chore charts. This information changes everything. If he can hold a job, he can figure out a way to remember and complete tasks you agree on. This is manipulation. You are correct in demanding he do better and attend couples counseling. But I think it is wrong to run off to your parents’ house when you acknowledge that you both need to communicate. Go home. Ask him, if his boss asked him to make dinner, get items at the store, and clean the kitchen, what would he do to make sure he remembered to complete them to ensure he kept his job? Don’t talk, or jump in with suggestions, wait for his answer… no matter how long it takes. Then ask him why he didn’t care enough to come up with this plan to ensure he kept his marriage? OOP: I didn’t realize until after I posted the original that I just mentioned our previous conversations and not our solutions. As I was writing out the update and responding to comments, I realized just how much effort I have put into this and it’s truly embarrassing: white boards, calendars (apps and paper ones), to-do lists, charts, and automatic reminders/alarms on our Alexa. It’s funny that you mentioned the “If your boss asked” scenario because he just won an award at work for outstanding service and leadership. After all of this nonsense, I should scratch his name out and put mine on it for all of my service and leadership. OOP clarifies the timeline posted here with her situation OOP: The fight happened last Thursday, I left for my trip on Friday, and came back on Sunday (when the update was). I tried to post the original before I left for my trip but it got taken down for block text so when I reposted it, I didn’t bother changing everything to the past tense. Commenter 2: Every day you spend waiting around for him to do anything is a waste of your time and life. Start divorce proceedings and serve him with divorce papers. That'll take at least a week or two. If he actually wants to talk to you within that time, you can consider cancelling it but I would advise you to stop waiting around for him to take action when you know he'll never do it. Commenter 3: Your exhaustion and sadness just radiates from your posts. You’re right to finally see that if he doesn’t make a move to show he’s ready for major changed, there’s not much you can do about it. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Im really proud of the intimacy my 2 roommates and I have been able to cultivate. Men don't get enough physical affection and I've found that its something I really crave. So, over time we've been able to practice being emotionally and physically intimate (cuddles, tickles, no sex things cos we're just friends) One roommate is a longtime friend and just moved in temporarily (about 5 months), so to prevent clutter we started a chore chart. One roommate thought we should reward chores with kisses (on the cheek), and honestly a little peck on the cheek for acknowledgement made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... TLDR Do chores, and kiss your friends. submitted by /u/sudahmakann to r/bropill [link] [comments]

Hey everyone, I’m a parent who finally hit the wall with chore charts. We’ve tried everything from whiteboards, star charts, sticker charts, and just about every kid-focused chore app I could find. They all worked for a week or two, then fell apart. Either the interface was too busy, the app wanted me to pay to unlock basic features, or it turned chores into some kind of virtual-pet game that distracted more than it helped. So I built MyChoreBoard. It’s a free, lightly gamified chore tracker designed to motivate kids without overcomplicating family life. It was also built with ADHD kids in mind—those who struggle to remember multi-step routines or long verbal lists. The visual layout gives them simple, concrete reminders of what to do next, reducing stress for both kids and parents. The focus is on real-world responsibility and building healthy habits, not feeding a cartoon creature. Parents can create chores, assign them, set them to repeat, and track progress in real time. It keeps everyone accountable without parents having to remind kids a million times a day. What makes it different is that it’s simple on purpose. It doesn’t try to be everything—a calendar, grocery list, weather bug, or news feed. It just helps kids build good habits and gives parents one less thing to manage. And it’s completely free: no ads and no premium version. It’s a PWA, so you can install it on your home screen. It syncs across all devices. I administer from my phone or laptop depending on where I am. One kid uses a cheap android tablet and the other an ipad. It’s still in beta, and I’d love feedback from other parents: what’s missing, and what would make it more helpful for your family? You can try it at mychoreboard.com. Thanks for reading—this project grew out of real frustration and a lot of chore charts that didn’t stick. EDIT: I have been working on a blog, to support the app. It has helpful tips on using MyChoreBoard as well as general parenting tips, reward ideas among other related things. I also also offer some suggestions on how MyChoreboard helps parents with ADHD kids. You can access the blog from the main website. **May 2026 Edit** There are a few resolution related bugs that we are working through for android and I think we are really close to launching on both the Apple and android App Stores. We also have our app testing with Amazon for the fire tablets. In the meantime, our PWA has the most current code and is available on the website. I will let everyone know when these launch, hopefully in another week or two. Once launched, we will have a native app for iOS, a native app for android, a native app for the fire tablets, and our progressive web app that runs in any browser on any device. All versions are going to be maintained going forward and all versions sync to each other. submitted by /u/JJ-At to r/ParentingTech [link] [comments]

This isn't me being grouchy because I have to do chores. It's me being grouchy because I have to do chores for a space that I don't use. I don't use the kitchen, other than the microwave. I have beans, soup, pasta, noodles and mushy peas. I either use the microwave, or I cook some pasta and clean my pot out immediately and put it away. I don't sit at the table, I don't put anything in the bin (I have one in my room), and I don't even have a shelf in the fridge. The last time I entered the kitchen was last night, because myself and a couple of my mates had to call an ambulance for a very drunk girl who we thought had alcohol poisoning. I threw out most of the bottles and cans that had been left on the side from the party, and injured my legs from slipping on the mopped floor (my mistake). One of my flatmates helped, bless him, another was in her room literally right next to the kitchen, and I can't begin to imagine where the others were. I don't blame the birthday boy, but I do blame him for just leaving a bottle of beer out on the porch. That was a bit of a rant, but I just feel like I shouldn't have to be held responsible for a space I don't use. Am I being unreasonable? submitted by /u/PastilleAndCo to r/UniUK [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is badwife07. She posted in r/relationships Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for the rec! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Trigger Warning: discussions of drug use Mood Spoiler: hopeful ending Editor's note: a definition for clarity From Collins English Dictionary: Stepford Wife: informal, derogatory a married woman who submits to her husband's will and is preoccupied by domestic concerns and her own domestic appearance Wikipedia Novel information Original Post: July 4, 2014 My husband (35M) and I have been together for ~4 years. We have 1 young child together. I'm not happy in my marriage anymore and I think it's mostly my fault. I changed a lot over the last few years, especially since becoming a mother, and my husband is the same guy he has always been. When we were dating we were sexually adventurous, had threesomes and poly relationships, and basically lived a party life while maintaining respectable, professional jobs. I loved that my husband didn't judge me for being very sexually adventurous, as other men had, and he didn't expect me to have a traditional housewife role. He didn't care if I cooked or cleaned and was fine with having a messy house and eating a lot of takeout. But as I've gotten older and become a mother I find myself strongly desiring a more traditional lifestyle. I don't have any interest in sex with other people outside our relationship, and I want our house to be clean and comfortable, and I want to eat healthy, nutritious food. My husband appreciates all the cooking and cleaning I do, but it's not important to him and he doesn't help out. I am growing more and more resentful that I can't motivate him to do basic cleaning tasks around the house -- it's not like I enjoy cleaning either, but I really want our child to grow up in a nice home. I also had to stop drinking and using all recreational drugs when I got pregnant, and I never started again. My husband still, in my opinion, drinks to excess, and occasionally likes to go out and take drugs with his friends. When he does this I get very angry with him, and his response is that I have the freedom to take a night off from parenting and do the same if I choose to. I feel like we have really grown apart and have very little in common these days outside of managing a shared household. I don't feel very close to him or emotionally connected. I don't look forward to spending time with him. When we have long periods of time together, like car rides, we don't talk anymore. We each put on headphones and listen to podcasts or audiobooks. In fact, sometimes we'll each independently put on the same podcast, but listen to it separately -- when I noticed this it seemed symbolic of the rest of our lives. We are so separate these days. Our sex life is ok, our finances are in good order, and we get along (very well) with each other's families. We went to counseling about a year ago and things improved marginally for a very short time, but we ran out of things to talk about with the counselor and the improvements disappeared quickly. What do I do? Do I stay in this marriage I feel indifferent to? I miss feeling in love. But I don't want to tear my family apart. tl;dr: I changed into a Stepford Wife and resent my husband for not changing with me. Not his fault, but I'm unhappy and don't know what to do. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Is your husband bonded with his kid? Does he take them to the park without you and bath them and tuck them in at night? Also, are you working or are you a stay at home mom.? It seems like many SAHMs have trouble finding interesting things to talk about since their world is so small, generally. OOP: I work full time. My husband and I each have very demanding careers. I would say my husband and daughter have a good bond, but I get the impression that parenthood is a lot more work and less fun than he anticipated. I think perhaps he had an overly rosy view of things. He does love her and enjoy spending time with her, but not in the same way that I do. OOP responds to a long Comment: OOP: "Before kids, date night could happen whenever. After kids, it takes more work to find the time. Figure out how to go on that drive. Make the time to be with each other. If you are listening to the same podcast, make a mini discussion date afterward." I think this is getting closer to the crux of my feelings about all this. The housework etc. is all problematic, but really I miss having any kind of closeness. It bothers me a lot that my husband either doesn't notice or doesn't care. Sometimes I schedule date nights into our weekly planner, and he spends the "date" playing with his phone or just being quiet. We had 1 good date night that I can remember in the last year. The rest have all been duds that left me feeling even sadder and lonelier than before. Commenter: You didn't change into a stepford wife. You GREW UP. When you have a kid, it's no longer acceptable, IMO, to put your life, livelihood, and lack of a criminal record in danger by taking recreational drugs. It's no longer okay to eat shitty food and live in filth. Someone depends on you now, and you don't get night here you pretend you're not a parent; suck it up. I think y'all need a chore chart, and I think you need to share parenting duties better. I.e. for every night he goes out, you go out a different night. EVERY TIME. Which, hopefully, should give him an idea of what sacrifice means. And I think if he keeps taking drugs, you should seriously think about leaving him. OOP: I have gone back and forth about whether to reply to this comment because I have seen a lot of times on this subreddit, when OPs start to reply they get downvoted a lot and eviscerated. I am really sensitive about this issue so I guess I will just say, if you (general you) are going to respond please keep that in mind, I don't have a thick skin about this. I just want to clarify a few things. First, we didn't and won't ever live in filth. The cleaning issues are more things like: keep all surfaces clear and wipe down with a cloth every day; put dishes straight into dishwasher instead of piling up for a few days; laundry every 1-2 days instead of every 1-2 weeks. And the recreational drugs aren't like shooting up heroin, more like getting together with his friend who has an Adderall prescription and taking Adderall and smoking weed and drinking whiskey while playing video games. I think it's kind of immature and lame, but I wouldn't leave him over that issue specifically. I understand your point about me going out too, but I don't think it really solves anything if I make a point of going out each time he does just to keep score. He does spend time with our child when I ask him to or when I have to work late or when I have actual plans (not plans that I make up to keep score with him). But for the most part I don't think he enjoys parenting the way I do, and our parenting will always be imbalanced for that reason -- I do it because I love it, and he does it because he has to. Commenter: "But for the most part I don't think he enjoys parenting the way I do, and our parenting will always be imbalanced for that reason -- I do it because I love it, and he does it because he has to." I don't think it should be imbalanced for that reason. Frankly, I don't think it matters why either of you parent - for the sake of said child, I think it's important that you both do, equally, period. "I don't think it really solves anything if I make a point of going out each time he does just to keep score" I do. I think he needs to learn that you both work, you both need friends, and you both parent. And one parent has to sacrifice so the other can go out, and that ought to be equal. And he will, I suspect, be more egalitarian about leaving you to go party when he is forced to understand that it comes with the price of being left alone to parent an equal amount. OOP: I think maybe I'm not communicating well here. I don't have a problem with him going out because it's a sacrifice for me to stay home with my daughter. I love the time I spend with her, and that's not a sacrifice at all. I think the reason it bothers me when he goes out and does drugs is deeper and more emotional, it feels like he still has and likes and wants this old lifestyle that I'm not part of anymore. I don't even really want to be part of it, but it still feels bad knowing that he does. I understand your points about trying to make things fair, with exactly equal numbers of nights out and exactly equal amounts of time spent parenting, but I just don't think relationships work like that. I think it becomes very toxic to bean count and spreadsheet each other like that. Commenter: "it feels like he still has and likes and wants this old lifestyle that I'm not part of anymore. I don't even really want to be part of it, but it still feels bad knowing that he does." he might feel a sort of abandonment too and that things were easier when you were both living your life in that style. do you think he's receptive to going back to counselling? these issues don't sound unresolvable, just not well communicated and discussed OOP: Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. He has said he misses the old me. He would definitely go back to counseling if I asked him to. The last time we were there it got to a point where there was a lot of dead air, and I think we both felt like it wasn't that productive anymore. Commenter: what brought you two together? you really only describe the freedom he was comfortable with and that you fit alright in each other's lives. [...] OOP: Honestly a lot of what brought us together was partying and having sexual adventures. That's the main reason I brought it up in the OP, although I think people have misconstrued this to mean that he is partying so much now that it's interfering with his parenting. I worry that now we just don't have anything in common, although that's more just the pessimistic, frustrated, lonely part of me talking. We still have similar interests (read the same books, listen to the same podcasts, work out together) and similar goals (we own a business together, are working toward buying a house, have a great plan for retirement) and similar parenting philosophies. I will try asking him the questions about where we'll be in X years. Those are good questions. Commenter [part of a longer comment]: On a final note, have you considered hiring a housekeeper? It sounds like you could afford to do so, and it would probably save you time and help you feel less resentful if you weren't solely responsible for housework. OOP: Yeah, from the replies here it is starting to sound like a housekeeper is a good solution. If I am really honest with myself, I have felt a lot of pressure to "have it all" and to show that I can manage my career and house, and that has made me reluctant to hire professional help. But if throwing some money at the problem will really help I think we should just do that. To a longer Comment: OOP: Before we had our daughter we talked about ways that we could continue to do the things we were doing -- occasional recreational drug use, polyamorous relationships, etc -- in a way that would be safe and responsible. For instance, we have a "responsible parent" policy: if one parent is using recreational drugs (including alcohol), or takes a sleeping pill, or does anything else that takes them out of commission for parenting, that parent has to clear it with the other parent, and the other parent has to be the "responsible parent" until the other one is back in good shape. We also had a plan that every week, there would be mom's night out, dad's night out, and date night for mom and dad with a sitter. The reality is just so different. The competent, professional sitters in our area charge a minimum of $15/hour with a 4 hour minimum, which is not a practical expense to have a weekly basis. I don't think either of us can get it together to go out for a recreational/social event every week. Update Post: July 6, 2014 (2 days later) I did not expect to be posting back so soon, especially because I didn't do anything. But I think my husband was also feeling the distance and the tension between us. Today, I snapped at him over a minor household issue, and he asked to be alone in our office for a while. While he was in there, he reorganized the entire office -- a massive project -- and took care of filing about a year's worth of paperwork that had just piled up. He paid some bills that were my responsibility out of his personal account (we use the his/hers/ours system for our finances). And he balanced my retirement portfolio, a project I've been putting off for way too long because it stressed me out. Then, he went out to pick up some dinner, and over dinner we talked about a family vacation we want to take together soon, which he offered to plan and pay for. As soon as he walked out of our house to pick up dinner, I broke down in tears. I think it was just the realization that he has his own way of showing he loves me, and sometimes I get so absorbed in my own thoughts and feelings, and so burdened by the weight of my responsibilities, that I don't even notice how much he does. Anyway, sorry this isn't a more dramatic update. I can see now that my husband and I need to work more on connecting with each other, but we are both still in it to win it. And even though he sucks at showing it some times, I know he loves me and is devoted to our family. tl;dr: My party animal husband balanced my retirement portfolio for me and it was the wakeup call I needed to realize he does love me and we can get through this rough patch. EDIT TO ADD: TO EVERYONE COMMENTING AND SENDING ME PRIVATE MESSAGES TELLING ME THAT I'M SPOILED BECAUSE I DON'T WORK: I HAVE A DEMANDING AND SUCCESSFUL FULL-TIME JOB. I WORK AS MANY OR MORE HOURS THAN MY HUSBAND AND AM AN EQUAL CONTRIBUTOR TO OUR FINANCES. SHAME ON YOU FOR ASSUMING THAT, BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN, I DON'T WORK. Some of OOP's Comments: Editor's note: Keep in mind these were written in 2014. The discussion around five love languages was less nuanced. Top Commenter: I'm glad things are looking up for you!! I didn't read the earlier post, but have you heard of the book The Five Love Languages? It basically presents this theory that everyone shows their love through one of five ways, "languages," and that so many problems in relationships (especially pertaining to "he doesn't love me/do anything nice for me/etc") can be helped by understanding your partner's love language. I seriously think both of you should read it and talk about it! I also think that you both should consider at least a couple sessions of marital counseling. OOP: Thank you. I have actually read the Five Love Languages book, and really my husband and I have similar languages, so everything was hunky dory while we were dating. I think he tends to get in ruts where he starts taking our relationship for granted, and he isn't using any of the love languages -- and maybe I do the same thing too, sometimes. I think the trick is to just keep trying, keep talking, keep letting each other know how we feel -- and not getting swept up in the tides of work and parenting and everything else that can so easily overwhelm and subsume simple acts of love and kindness toward each other. Commenter: Side note: I think (hope) the reason people are assuming you don't work is because you use the term "Stepford Wife", which to my mind means stay-at-home mom who does nothing but cook and clean and polish her silver all day. OOP: That's fair. I guess I overreacted due to all the PMs telling me I should kill myself and my husband should divorce me. Also, this is a problem I regularly have in real life -- almost everyone my husband and I meet assumes I don't work. My job is super important to me and a huge part of my identity so it is hard not to take offense. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My house is 1 bed/ 1 bath with a small outdoor patio. This is the cleaning chart I made to keep track of everything. Is there anything else I could add? The deep cleaning is definitely not my forte so any help is welcomed. submitted by /u/CursedRaptor to r/CleaningTips [link] [comments]

Context: Me (40ishF) am married to husband and our two teen sons. We both have full time professional jobs at good incomes but I’m the higher earner. I say this only to show that I’m not a SAHM or work part time, that I have the same amount of non-work hours as my husband. Like 99% of women it seems I’m always the one who has to lead the charge on cleaning, home maintenance, yard maintenance. I have to still remind our two sons to shower and put on deodorant, etc. I have to remind my husband to put water softener salt in, to take the recycling out, to do the pots and pans. I have said time and time and time again to them that you don’t do chores because mom says so, you do them because you live in a home and it’s part of living in a home. That you don’t “help” me clean the house, YOU ALSO live here and are responsible for the house. It’s a recurring argument that never is resolved. We’ve tried chore charts, Alexa reminders, the fair play system, etc. NOTHING WORKS. And then when I finally get mad and lose my temper “whoa mom is crabby!” Or “well why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Does anyone have any suggestions that isn’t me just letting us all live in filth or isn’t me running away to live in the forest? submitted by /u/beattiebeats to r/TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is Empty_Researcher_348. She posted in r/TrueOffMyChest, r/legaladvice and her own page. Previous BORU here. New updates to the sub marked with ****\*. Thanks to u/Dazzling_Past1141 who commented on the OG BORU to remind me to check for updates! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. This is a fairly long post. Trigger Warning: std; infidelity; harassment; stalking; vandalism; Mood Spoiler: sad and frustrating; OOP will be ok Original Post: October 23, 2023 (deleted by mods of TOMC, preserved on OOP's page) My husband has ruined both our lives by asking me to double up his lunch serving for work. I’m on a throw away because I still haven’t fully decided on divorce but I’m 95% sure on it. Me f26 and My husband m25 and I have been married for almost two years and have a 6month old baby. I work part time only to supplement our income and to pay for the legal process of getting him documented. We are very fortunate that it seems it may be an easy process of maybe 2 years max for his residency but now I’m going to cancel everything and ask for a divorce. My routine used to be I wake up 1.5hours before him in the morning and make him lunch and pack everything for him for work and have his breakfast coffee and clothes ready for him to wake up, eat get dressed and head out with in 30mins. He used to be satisfied with what I packed him of freshly made chicken in either honey buffalo, lemon pepper and salad or some sort of chicken wraps ect. Pure healthy food. I did this because I wanted to make his life easier and show him I cared and love him and I’ve done this since we first moved in together more then 3 years ago. Well recently I’ve had to start including dinner leftovers because he started asking for more food that he was still hungry afterwords, which I thought it was odd because no matter if I work or not he always comes homes to prepared food so even if he wasn’t full he would be okay. But I explained it off with maybe he’s bulking or something. So I started including what I normally take to work which has caused me to either go without lunch and having to wait til after work or be late for work because I have to wait till the food is ready and take some because I’m breastfeeding and can’t miss eating every time(I’ll leave food going such as in a crockpot or low heat depending how long after I leave he gets home) Well last week when I was packing his lunch I found a unrecognized second fork in his lunchbox and was thrown off so I asked and he said he found it in the kitchen of his work and brought it home. (Odd why didn’t he just leave it?) I had noticed small changes in him that I gaslighted myself into I’m being insecure because I just had a baby but this made the pit of my stomach churn. So a few days later I decided to go to his work during lunch to “surprise him” with dessert 🍮 and for him to see the baby. Well that was when I found out why he wanted more food. His coworker he told me no longer worked there, who I’d caught him talking too friendly to and I told him it bothered me and I had him remove from everything and block on whatsapp not only still worked there but was eating the lunch I freshly prepared for HIM and he was eating the leftovers. I didn’t cause a scene instead took pictures and added to my folder of everything he’s done before from simple hearting other girls stories after telling me he didn’t to naked pictures of a coworker from a previous job he got fired from because of her. I drove home crying to packed my things when I got home I took the bassinet and anything I’d need for the baby and my essentials and went to my sisters and BILs and told them everything and even showed him our conversations from WhatsApp where he told me she no longer worked there. I normally text him through the day so he started texting me and calling me to see if I was okay and what was for dinner? He was almost off is everything okay? And then he got to the house a hour earlier than usual (which also has me question if he’s been lying about what time he gets off too) and saw mine and the babies things gone. And my letter that he had 7 days to leave my house (my mom gave it to me when I was 20) and that he can communicate with my mother to see the baby when I’m at work or whenever he wants to see her just let her know and I’ll drop off the baby with her. I for the time being don’t want anything to do with him. And I left the printed fotos of them eating lunch laughing together under the letter. Later that night when I decided I no longer wanted anything to do with him I informed the lawyer (we had a group WhatsApp chat with me him, the lawyer, paralegal and my BIL (our cosponser)) that I no longer was going to need his services. And then messaged the lawyer privately to ask if I could maybe move our contract and the money I’ve paid so far over to his divorce and family practice. He said unfortunately no there’s some clause or something that if we decide to no longer pursue the case we lose the money we’ve invested and also that his immigration practice is a partnership with different people then his family one. But he will just leave our case open till we get a response for our next appointment from the government and if we haven’t worked things out by then, then he will cancel everything. Well this cause him to go insane because now if he doesn’t get papers he has to choose between his daughter and parents. To either risk never seeing his parents and family again or never seeing his daughter again if he goes over there. He’s begging me to the point I blocked him on everything, he’s came to my BIL house and been told to leave or we are calling police then he later came back drunk with his buddies who then were all scared off by my BIL and his shotgun. I feel so lost, broken and depressed. I also have security at work to make sure he doesn’t show up at my office. My sister tells me to leave him but not to divorce so he can never get with anyone else and get papers but I can’t do that to him. Ive gone back home (only to check on the house and see if he’s gone im still staying with my sister) and surprisingly there’s no damage to anything and his things (only) are gone. So at least I feel a little relief in that. I’m not looking for advice I know I’m not going back, there is no longer any trust, my mental health wouldn’t be safe in that relationship, and I know I can’t have my daughter grow up with that kind of relationship being an example. I just needed to put this out there in order for it to solidify in my brain and to be able to reflect that this is now a pattern and he’s gone beyond disrespecting me by now also making me make HER food. I’ve been budgeting trying to make things last, sometimes eating less then I want to or skipping meals if possible (if a meal was heavier of carbs I’d skip since I should have enough for my milk supply) all to be able to pay bills, lawyer his gym membership and supplements. I lose out on rest and sleep because I ensure laundry and the house is kept spotless while the baby sleeps. I’ve basically gone from an independent educated career woman to a 1950s house wife with a job and school, all because I blindly fell for this man. When I say I feel stupid that’s an understatement. Anyhow TLDR: my husband had me (his breastfeeding wife) skipping meals and going out of my way to make him an extra lunch for his side chick at work. And now I have the house cars and he’s lost his nuclear family and ability to get a green card to be able to stay in the states and/or see his family in Mexico ever again. Edit: My phone seems to post it without paragraphs no matter what I do but I promise i tried to format it even though I was an emotional mess. This time I double spaced the paragraphs to see if that helps idk if it’s my phone or what. Some things I want to clarify I’ve been seeing in the comments. No my sister isn’t pushing me to stay in a relationship with him, she’s telling me not to divorce him so that he can’t just go find another woman to marry and use for the green card. No im not taking anything from him that wasn’t mine before we got married. Before me he lived in a house with 7other men sharing a bedroom with a bunk bed, and he drove a 2000 Buick he had to unplug from the battery in order to use it again. That car got scrapped after the electrical when out. The car he is using is my car I got in high school that got me through high school part time /seasonal jobs and community college. Also my mom isn’t dead, she gave me my childhood home because I was going to college and it’s 10minute commute from the college. She gave it to me because I’m the last of the kids all my brothers and sisters are at least 10 years older and aside from my sister who’s helping me, they all live in different states. He left home with a motorcycle his customizing, his gaming systems, clothes and the guest bedroom tv which was the only tv that was not mounted. Also I’m not keeping his daughter from him. I just personally don’t want to see him because I know he will try to give me a ton of excuses and try to make me “understand” him. He can speak to my sister or mom and they will supervise him to see his daughter whenever he wants to. There is no battle in that. I don’t think he’s a bad father but I just don’t think my relationship with him is the example I want to give my daughter. Yes, I am Mexican too, my dad came to the states and then later brought my mom and 2 brothers 2 sisters. Took a decade to see each other again which is why I’m so apart from my siblings and the only one born here. Relevant Comments: Their relationship I’ve been told by my sister to inform everyone that this was my first actual long term relationship. She says that may give people a clue as too why I was so naive. It was also very early in the relationship and we weren’t living together yet. I met him when I was traveling around to local jobs where it was known immigrants worked to post and inform them of local resources to help them with medical insurance, free clinics and ESL programs for children and adults. I was working for a seasonal daycare program for agriculture workers. How are you going without food if you both work and own your own home? He makes below minimum wage due to undocumentation, I work part time minimum wage because I can’t be away from the baby due to breastfeeding. He also sends money to provide for his parents and younger siblings Why did putting more food in his lunch cause budgeting issues? Yes, I was budgeting in order to be able to save money for the lawyer expenses but now that I look back it was basically him paying bills and pocketing the left over for gym and supplements plus tools/paints and whatever while my paycheck was going to groceries, his family in Mexico and diapers. And yes, I feel really stupid, naive and blind What would get you more child support- him getting a green card and permanent job here or not? Basically when should you divorce? This may be the numbness in me talking at the moment but I don’t need his money he can contribute by buying her diapers clothes and whatever necessities. Now that I’m not catering to him I can leave my part time paper pushing job and find a good daycare for my daughter go back to teaching. I might also just sell my second car and lower my car payment. Full time job and one less person in my home also means lower utilities since it’s less utilities being used at home. No mortgage, no stupid expenses on random gym crap/ $40 membership, just protein creatines and supplements was at least $150 a month not to mention whatever he was doing to that junk motorcycle. My sister and mom have talked me through finances and my BIL said I could honestly keep my part time job get on government benefits and spend more time with my daughter but I think mentally I need to go back to teaching, and feel the independence of being self reliant again. Food stamps feels like it’s just one thing he will throw in my face. Idk if I’m trying to hold on to what little bit of pride I have left or it’s just the anger I have inside that I wanna show him and his chick I am better without him. To another commenter: If I continue with the process I’ll be legally and financially responsible for him for years to come. Supervised visits is due to him never being more the. 3 hours (aka one bottle fed) alone with the baby. Also the fear of him taking my child to another country now that he’s loss everything here and he may just decide to go to Mexico a place where he can’t come back unless he risks his life again, is very real." The other woman: Idk she doesn’t have anything to offer she doesn’t have a legal status either because she overstayed her visa to my understanding from a coworker of his I went to school with. According to her that woman is younger, no legal status or education, no English and she’s already gotten in trouble for being inappropriate in the work place before and if there is proof that they are being inappropriate that will be a strike against him and firing against her. Apparently she likes to call herself “one of the guys” because she’s a woman who works in a male dominated job and degrades women making jokes with the men. Update Post: November 9, 2023 (almost 3 weeks later) Sorry it’s been a while since I updated anyone, I’ve been busy sorting out my life and this was supposed to be a throwaway so I didn’t expect it to blow the way it did much less anyone to actually want updates. -I guess I’ll start with the most asked question which was if I left him? Yes, I also got a full check up and I indeed had an infection I was lucky I could treat and be good without any further issues. This also confirmed his unfaithfulness because as I mentioned I had a baby not long ago and during the whole pregnancy they checked me for everything and they had done a full panel when I was 3months postpartum because I got a UTI and my doctor wanted to ensure it was only that. -Did I talk to him to get his side of the story? Yes, when I went to tell him about the infection I allowed him to speak his mind about everything I only asked him for the truth as there wasn’t anything else for him to ruin, it was completely over at this point. And here’s a basic tldr: • He never meant to hurt me, he loves his daughter and me •he enjoyed the attention it was something new and exciting •it took his mind off the stress of bills, kid, my “emotional” state and the general routine his life •life had gotten boring and she entertained him (I’m sorry that your wife organized your previously chaotic life) That’s about what I believed to be true out of the couple of hours of begging, excuses, gaslighting, and even blaming. The rest was: •The infection is a common one that happens because of cow 💩 everywhere and because he goes out and pees outside without washing his hands or something 🙄 •She doesn’t like men she was just one of the guys (cmon really??) •I only gave her lunch that day! It was just the one time that she forgot her lunch and she asked me because she saw I had two lunches 🙄 •He would never stand so low to break his family why would I make such assumptions (oh so you knew what you were doing) Once I showed him my MyChart with my results and explained how it’s not a normal infection like ecoli that you can get because of poop and it was an actual transmissible infection. I also explained that I hadn’t slept with anyone since we met! And how my doctor explained that if I would have had any kind of transmissible diseases I would have known during my pregnancy because not only is it common practice to test for all risks but my high risk pregnancy and preterm labor she tested for all kinds of things to see if she could find the cause of issues and afterword to find the cause of preterm labor. He admitted it shortly after that he listened to me and saw my drs note (I’ll add I have the best obgyn and she was amazing in listening to me and allowing me to cry and gave me not only support during that moment with even having a nurse take my daughter out for me to cry but also printed me information and ensured me that a simple medicine will make it all go away and I should not see any more issues) Anyhow He’s staying at the dairy at some trailer the owner let him borrow and for those who thought she would take him in turns out she’s engaged and she is about to start her wedding and do a adjustment of status (get her papers) Anyways I’m back to living on my own, my baby is doing great, I have another office job lined up for January, and I have a few universities I’ve applied to, I’m currently going to community college online but if I get into a uni I think I’ll move out of this town, my grandma said she would move with me to help me. Some days are long like today it’s late at night and I can’t sleep because I miss him. But I’ve been entertaining myself getting rid of stuff in my home to start a new slate and organize everything. I won’t lie and say I’m doing great. On my days off I don’t get out of bed. My house is clean but my bedroom has my laundry basket over full and I brought out the guest blankets and pillows to use. People at work have noticed a slowed pace in my work and I was offered time off but I denied it. Although now that somehow the rumor of what happened has reach my job I may take it. Thank you for all the support everyone. Although I had a few people call me names and talk badly to me in my messages, I appreciate the other people who commented nice things and showed me support. ………………………. Edit for update: Woke up to husbands call, he apologized again. I’m Still not budging, but he told me he was talking to some guys at work about free clinics or where they go when their sick and turns out that same woman has been sleeping with a few from there. Idk if around the same time but one of them told my husband where to get treated for free because he got it from her too. In his apology which sounded more sincere this time but I believe it’s worse because it’s only after he realized he wasn’t special to her just another one of the guys she slept with. But I say sincere because he didn’t have many excuses instead he seemed to hold himself accountable by saying he had won the lottery and messed up. He begged for a second chance because he doesn’t know what came over him. He says he hates coming home to an empty trailer he misses seeing his daughter the moment after work. What choked me up was when he said he used to feel more exhausted when he used to come home to us because the baby would be excited to see him and would cry to be held by him, and during the week I would often leave the same easy meals made for him so he could eat while I left to work and he started to feel tired of it. It was a boring routine of same foods during the week. Coming home and having to watch the baby so I could go to work. That solidified to me that I don’t ever want to find another relationship much less go back to him. The routine I worked hard to put my family together, was a chore to him. I literally dealt with a fussy tired child til he got home so she would mostly sleep and he would only need a single bottle for her but even that was too hard. He said he would give up the world just to be back into his routine because now he comes home to an empty trailer where it’s just a bed and a fold out table. He hasn’t eaten his diet because he doesn’t have time to prep. He started spending money on lunch because he doesn’t have food made for him. He says he misses the baby so much that he now cries when he goes home. I told him idk what to tell him about that, but if wanted to see the baby when I go to work he can go see her at my moms who now’s babysits for me. Knowing my mom she makes food and she would never deny him food so he can go over there and eat and be with the baby after work. But I had to go I couldn’t talked anymore. When I tell yall I’ve never cried so hard in my life, it’s an understatement. It doesn’t help it’s raining today. I think I’m calling into work today and tomorrow talking to my boss about taking those days. …….. Edit: November 10 (Same Post) I was logging off for a while but I figured I’d update everyone to let you know she found my home and started harassing me now. I guess somehow her fiancée found out and she thinks it was because of me. I feel like things are just going from bad to worse. I had to leave my car in my moms garage and borrow my nephews car which my neighbor let me park in her driveway because she threatened to ruin my car like “I ruined her relationship”, which isn’t just hypothetical but also ironic. Relevant Comments: What have you decided regarding legal aspects of this (ie green card)? I don’t want to make any legal decisions at the moment. I’m barely getting through leaving him, I don’t want to also put on too being responsible for my daughter to lose her dad. Because of his stupidity" Someone cautions her to not overly listen to reddit here, because this is a decision with huge ramifications. She should just do what feels right for her and her child: I feel like there’s no way out without severe damage. I feel like I’m in that bridge game from squid games except all tiles break at any decision just some have lesser consequences than the others. I currently don’t want to make ANY decisions because I feel safe in limbo atm because even though my logical reasoning understands if he gets deported it’s going to be from his decision my emotional reasoning feels responsible for it. I don’t want him back the betrayal and his dishonesty has broken any trust I could ever have and I don’t think it would be good for my mental health to continue a relationship like that. I grew up seeing my mom always asking and wondering if my step was cheating or not to the point my mom neglected us because she was so busy ensuring her husband wasn’t cheating. It turned a once loving caring involved mother into a toxic person who would take her daughters out at 3 am to go to shady neighborhoods to see if her husbands car was outside someone’s house. I don’t want that for myself or daughter. I saw cheating ruin my mother without her ever being unfaithful, I seen it destroy my sisters first engagement , I have seen my brothers bleed from aggressive cheating women who attack them for wanting to take their kids from toxic environments with drugs and other men. Cheating is something I don’t want ANY involvement in and I’ve seen what it does to people. But I also have that responsibility that I want my daughter to have her dad. So in the meantime I am having that distance because I KNOW what is better for her and I am trying my best to stick to the logical conclusion not the emotional one. No matter how much I miss him, but I tell myself I don’t miss this person talking to me. I miss the person who made me feel safe, loved and cared for. And even then I’m starting to look back and realize a lot of it was me in a delusional state thinking that him hugging me when I asked, me going to him for kisses, me cuddling to him, was all love. I felt safe with him not because he made me feel safe but because I thought i was. But looking back it’s embarrassing to say I was the one who did a lot of the instigating of affection. Maybe some of the people who messaged me saying I was I was psycho were on to something. I’m starting to feel like maybe I was in some delusional state and he was just using me." Legal Advice Post: November 10, 2023 (Same day as the edit in update post) Title: What do I need to file a restraining order in Texas? My husband cheated on me and the woman who he cheated with is now harassing me. Ig she was engaged and was about to go from a visa to residency because of her fiancée but somehow he found out about her relationship with my husband. She believes it was me but I don’t know who her partner is/was or who told him yet since like 4pm today she’s done the following: •punctured a hole in one of my tires •wrote on my front bay window “home wrecker” • keeps calling me from different numbers and now I’m starting to receive spam text messages after I blocked all of her numbers and stopped answering random numbers •threaten “I’ll ruin your car like you ruined my relationship ####” This is all since this afternoon. I called the police but by the time they showed up she was gone. And they said I had no prove of what’s she doing so unless they find her doing it or I have prove their hands are tied. My mom and step dad said they will put up cameras in my home and my mom is keeping my car at her home. They want me to stay with them too but I don’t want to leave my home incase she tries something against it. The most I was able to get is a police officer patrolling the area. Meaning they will be close by and randomly pass by. I’m not sure what to do, I don’t even know who her partner is and I’m already dealing with leaving my husband and now she’s harassing me? Any advice before it gets worse? *****New to this sub Comments****\* Commenter: Your situation is very similar to mine which started 15 years ago. I made the decision to stay to make sure he got his green card and stayed with his son in turn, I received so much abuse from him. He is a narcissist and he subjected me to all kinds of abuse. I stayed because of my son and finally decided to leave. I was waking him for 15 years and once I left he stopped contact with our child, so all the abuse I endured it was pointless. OOP: He was never abusive in any physical way but looking back I believe him to be very manipulative and immature. I don’t want to waste anymore time if it was possible I would go back and refuse to ever give him the time of day. It’s been the worst month of my life and going back or if I’d stay I can’t see it would have ever gotten better. I’ve loss so much hair from stress my milk supply has plummeted to the point I think I may need to supplement formula soon, my mom tells me to just switch to formula because all my stress is going to go to the baby. But we’ve had such a bad formula shortage I don’t want to. I don’t think my situation would have been any better if I would have stayed because I don’t think he would have changed his behavior just hid it better. My trust issues (which I had already prior to this whole mess) would have driven me into the same stress so I’m just give god thanks for him opening my eyes and not putting me in a worse situation. I’m sorry your ex was just as horrible and you feel all your suffering was pointless. I believe it tells how important your son was for you and how selfless you are. Update Comment: November 18, 2023 (8 days later, almost 1 month from OG post) Thank you. My baby and I are. Doing better. She’s doing okay atm but unfortunately I’ve started to show some physical symptoms of the extreme stress I’ve been going through. As of Wednesday I haven’t had anymore issues with the woman as my step dad put cameras up and the moment one of the cameras alerted me they captured movement I got on the phone with police. I’m not sure what she was planning but she spent enough time under my kitchen window and my laundry window that the police showed up and got her for trespassing now with my video evidence I’ve sent it to the guy who was originally our immigration lawyer who said he will be doing a immigration report on her and use my original picture of her “working” and my video evidence of her trespassing and idk what else to prove she’s not only in the country while her visa isn’t active but also working and doing illegal things. Idk what she wanted but if she would have left me alone I would not have done anything. I didn’t report to her fiancée or do anything against her. Everything naturally happened and now in order to protect myself I’ve had the lawyer report her for me. Update Comment: December 12, 2023 (about 1 month later, shy of 2 from OG post) TLDR: I’m okay, ex is still a ex, ex is still sleeping with others, harassment is less severe but now more people. Ex is either stupider than I thought or manipulating women to harass me. And the girl, my ex and all other illegal workers were fired but to my knowledge not deported. Now more detail is below ⬇️ We’re okay, I’ve been numb to the whispers and just waiting for the office closing days for holiday vacation to start so I can go to Mexico for a while til our office reopens mid January. I’ve made friends with my areas police officer so he comes by and sweeps the area often and even has had his wife come stay with me and help me with my daughter and help me stay safe. I quit posting because the post actually blew up enough to where she found out about it I guess I wasn’t vague enough. I guess her husband uses Reddit and after he found out about her cheating and drama he put two and two together and reached out to me and I was able to confirm it was him by phone and met in person to talk. [editor's note- this post did get a lot of traction on several different subs and was posted several places outside of reddit, including facebook, youtube, pinterest and tiktok. To me it's actually quite plausible someone found it] Turned out he actually reported her overstay but I guess somehow she didn’t get deported but she along with a few others including my ex were all fired from their job because of his report. According to him she won’t be able to ever renew her visa again because she came as a tourist which means she can’t work. He apologized for her craziness and offered to help me but I turned him down because his involvement might actually make it worse. My ex started sleeping around and I guess doesn’t learn his lesson. I don’t care anymore though I’ve come to peace he’s not the person I married. I’m so disgusted by him now that I don’t even like him kissing on my daughter. He does come to see her when my mom watches her more now that he got fired and is job haunting. I ask my mom that he leaves before I pick up because he will start crying the moment he sees me and tries to hug me. Police have been useless aside the friendly officer and his wife. It’s not just that girl now, it’s like 3 girls who are her friends plus a few others who have slept with my ex who harass me because he tells them he loves me and wants me back which I don’t know if he’s stupid or is manipulating them to attack me for him. Either way I’ve deactivated all of my social medias and the ones I do use are all private or with a different name so I can just use but I just don’t post. Sorry it’s long and boring. OOP adds: Also one of the people who was sending me hate messages saying I’m a psychopath I deserved the cheating and talking a lot of crap to me was her, her ex confirmed her account. Mini Comment Update: February 4, 2024 (1.5 months later, 3.5 from OG post) Shes finally stopped but I think it’s because she doesn’t know anything of where I live work or do. “Suspiciously “ when I quit informing my ex she also quit finding me. I only meet my ex in public now. Final Update Comment: February 6, 2024 (2 days later) Honestly I’m trying to focus on healing now. After everything I’m disgusted to think back of a time I slaved for him. I look at him and it’s just not the same. I used to see his green eyes and love his long lashes, now I notice his pimple scares and bad skin. I used to be excited for him to be home and try to think of something special to surprise him when he got home or what would get him to smile, now I just wonder how many time he was screwing around while I was fixing him something special or preparing everything for him to come home to a warm clean welcoming home. I never thought I would dread to have to see him or have anxiety when he’s near. I just focusing on myself now. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/SMStotheworld to r/AreTheStraightsOK [link] [comments]

Update: Although he was not happy with the chore chart, it actually helped him to stop complaining about things and now he does more chores throughout the week. It has improved. He is getting long planned projects done and that is helpful So my husband can be childish and overconfident/assholeish at times, especially when he believes that he is right. To give a better picture, last year my husband and I separated because he was having a midlife crisis, but we are now working through it and are trying to fix our marriage. I work FT and he has been unemployed for the past 8 months. Since the separation he will point out things that I supposedly have not done or "not" correctly. I was getting annoyed and told him if he doesn't like what I am "not" doing that he could be doing them and that he does. So I bought a chore chart and wrote all the daily weekly and month chores on the board and checked off what I had already done for the day. He say it and got mad, asking what the hell this was. I told him I was doing chores without being asked. Which have you done? He got mad and walked away. EDIT: After some consideration and a lot of people jumping straight to divorce. I understand where you are coming from, but I have showed him the messages and we had a strong heart to heart. He broke down and we are changing things up. The person who recommended the cards and book, we are starting to use those and thank you. I will post an update in a few weeks and see if he is holding up submitted by /u/4eversoulsraven to r/pettyrevenge [link] [comments]

i wasn’t sure what to tag this because to me this is humorous but i don’t know if it will stress out other high-behavioral-control RBBs! soooo anyway… cleaning out my childhood home and i found a random month of my first chore chart, designed by my mom, probably was about 5 or 6 years old when she was using this. incredible artifact & foundational document lol. my entire reward and reinforcement system system was based around whether i was perfectly behaved, compliant and pleasant at all times. notice that by kindergarten, one of my behavioral goals was already controlling anger. gee i wonder where i picked that up? other highlights include: - the percentage grade at the end of every day based on how many things i did right (my mom was a teacher) - all of this was incentivized by very small amounts of money - mandatory tithe - why is “eating healthy” on there when YOU literally control what i eat because i’m a child??? - evidently the last few days of may were rough for me that year lol submitted by /u/bachelurkette to r/raisedbyborderlines [link] [comments]

I love this chart! There are many different versions online but this is a great one to start with when you don’t know where to start. I was raised by a borderline hoarder who didn’t teach me how to clean just shove things in places that cover the mess. Totes, under the beds, closets. Hopefully it can help someone else who doesn’t know where to start. submitted by /u/Ok_Garbage8586 to r/CleaningTips [link] [comments]

My (20f) boyfriend (23m) recently moved in with me. Now, he has ADHD, so noticing when things have to be done and actually doing them are a bit of a struggle for him. Now, I sympathise. I realise it might be difficult. But it's also frustrating to come home at 8 pm only to find out I still need to buy groceries and cook, cuz he forgot. Or to want to do laundry, only to find out his wet laundry has been in the machine for 4 days. Or wanting a quick bowl of cereal for breakfast, but having to skip it because he forgot to put the milk back in the fridge. Having to do his chores / fix something he started is a daily occurance. When he moved in we devided chores 50/50, I let him pick the ones he liked, and I do the rest. But he's not doing his part. We talked about it several times, but he always says he just forgets or doesn't see it. I suggested he download an app that'll send him reminders, but he thinks the reminders would only stress him out. So I made him a chore chart. The most childish one I could, with bright colours and smiley faces for completed tasks. I hung it up on the fridge. And well.. he's pissed. He thinks I'm an AH for 'humiliating him like this' (no one but us has seen it). AITA? Edit: this wasn't a first resort. I tried lists, notes, checklists, apps, reminding him in person. If I remind him when we're home he'll say 'later', I'll remind him again, 'later', I do the dishes that were "soaking" in the sink for 5 days, and he'll get mad at me because 'he was just about to get to that'. He also doesn't seem to struggle with remembering things or completing tasks at work. submitted by /u/Fightingaboutchores to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/mrkowz to r/HollowKnight [link] [comments]

It’s just because I have trouble forgetting things, and I have an tendency of being lazy and I’m super tired Day 1- yesterday I didn’t completed my chart Day 2- today I missed out on three things But I’m so proud of myself that’s a huge accomplishment for me Day 4- I completed all of my chores today submitted by /u/Midnightdream56 to r/NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/iseetreesofgreen_ to r/raspberry_pi [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Alex45784 to r/AreTheStraightsOK [link] [comments]