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I was warned about my child's martial arts school. I should have listened.
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is LordTetravus. They posted in r/mildlyinfuriating and r/martialarts Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: frustrating Original Post: August 28, 2025 (recovered) Title: My daughter's martial arts school utterly broke her heart before realizing that they had made a mistake. My daughter has been training in martial arts for several years and has recently been trying to pass her test to get promoted from a "white uniform" to a "blue uniform". The school has recently revamped the process and made it more difficult, believing that some kids were not truly demonstrating the right proficiency to get promoted. She failed in her first attempt and has worked very hard for the last month to prepare to try again. She tested again today. Her birthday is tomorrow. She was nervous as hell. One of the instructors took her off to the side from the main class. I arrived midway through class and joined my wife. It wasn't clear how she had done until the class's promotion ceremony finished without her getting one, and finally she came over to us crying her eyes out. Her heart was broken, and so was mine, for her. At my wife's request, I ushered her quickly out of the school and led her down the sidewalk so we could make a quick exit and go home. We stopped and I hugged her as she cried into my shirt. My shirt was wet from her tears. I didn't know what to say. Suddenly my wife burst from the door of the school and excitedly announced she had passed. My daughter immediately stopped crying and ran back inside, here they gave her an ovation, her promotion, and took a triumphant photo. I was more flabbergasted than I think I've ever been in my life and watched in a daze. As it turned out, the instructor thought the threshold grade for passing the test was higher than it actually was, and the head of the school realized the mistake and that she had actually passed. I'm so happy for her, but also just kind of furious that she had to have those several minutes of despair and heartbreak beforehand. OOP attached a picture, but it has since been deleted. However, that same picture seems to have been included in the update post, so you can view that here. OOP's daughter in a blue uniform with a camo belt. Her face is blurred. Some of OOP's Comments: PicklesAndCoorslight: I wonder if they changed their mind and let her pass after they realized it was so hurtful. OOP: No, it was a legit mistake. The threshold was 70%, she got just under that last time. The instructor thought it was 80% today. She got a 76%. OOP adds: They gave us a paper copy of her test observations and feedback like last time, so even if they hadn't noticed it, I would have as soon as I looked at the test and saw that she got a 76% this time. I tend to believe it was an honest mistake due to her being effectively one of the guinea pigs for this revamped exam. Your wife was probably a Karen (these comments were upvoted): (downvoted) She didn't say a word, LOL. It was a legitimate mistake on what the instructor thought was the passing threshold, and they realized it at the last minute without any input from us. omegaterra: Camouflage belt and testing for gi colors? What martial art is this? OOP: I'm avoiding sharing that and similar details to avoid directly putting the school on blast if possible. But in this case, it's multiple belts with each gi. White uniform, then blue uniform, and finally red uniform until you turn 18. She's worn the white gi for a few years now. 4 years of material total culminating in the blue uniform promotion. I'm not positive about why they chose a camo belt, but there's a line of additional belts leading towards ultimately becoming a red uniform. Exciting-Resident-47: Ngl dude this sounds like a mcdojo. What martial is this in the first place? Also, in another comment you mentioned they charged for testing? Thats a BIG red flag that this is just here to pump money out of you. They even make you buy a new gi for each level lol. Editor's note: mcdojo definition is basically prioritizing profit over the martial art itself. See this link McDojo] OOP: (downvoted) Had never heard the term before this thread, tbh. I appreciate the heads up. Avoiding sharing the specifics due to not wanting to put them on blast directly, but I can tell you it's generally/allegedly considered a well regarded school - the head of it is definitely legit. I'll definitely look into these concerns, though. Failure can be good though: Yes, I agree completely. She takes failure hard. I have quoted Picard to her more than once. I try to help her understand that all she can do is her best and work hard. OkDot9878: And why is the belt nowhere near where a belt should be? OOP: Yeah, that's legitimately a rushing thing. If we're being fair, the whole situation caused a hold up in getting the kids' class over with, since her promotion wasn't planned for in the timing, with a line of adults for their class waiting outside, so she had to change into her new uniform and belt extremely quickly for the moment and photo. You used ChatGPT: I can honestly say that I've never used ChatGPT in my life, LOL. 😂 To another commenter saying OOP's descriptions seemed AI written: I'd like to think I'm good at painting a written picture... Kind of hard to express it any other way when you look down at the blue shirt you're wearing and see all the dark spots from where the kiddo has been crying into your chest and stomach. How do you know it's not a McDojo: It's my understanding that the head of the school is in the leadership at the regional or national level of his discipline. He's trained with and I believe even received promotions himself from the kind of legitimately famous people and schools who you would expect to be named first in any discussion of the discipline. I have no reason to doubt his qualifications at all, to this point. He's present at most of the kids' classes, even if not actively teaching. OOP adds: I want to be clear that I'm not acting as the man's defender here - I'm just a parent who has tried to do due diligence. From what I can see and what I have read online and in published works, there is plentiful photographic evidence and a pretty clear chain of documentation, curriculum vitae, etc, that the head of this school has been doing this for 20+ years at least as his primary vocation and trained under very legitimate people over a lengthy period and is now in a position of authority within the discipline. Again, I'm being intentionally vague to avoid putting the school on direct blast for this incident. I will surely take the advice on this thread though, and look at the whole thing with a more critical eye to make sure we have the right fit for her. One last comment from OOP: Thank you to all of you who have provided great feedback on this and congratulations to my daughter. She was excited to see so many well wishes! This was very therapeutic for me as well and I'm surprised it got as many eyeballs as it did. I think it's time to call it good night and shut off the lights on this thread. My phone has been blowing up for hours and I'm tired. 🤣 I will definitely be considering options as far as her future martial arts studies, there have been a lot of good and fair points and concerns raised. Although I do not think that her martial arts school is what some of you fear, I do think it is concerning about their business practices and I plan to look into all possibilities. Take care! Update Post: February 26, 2026 (6 months later) Title: An Update: I was warned about my child's martial arts school. I should have listened. 🫤 A while back, I made a post in here about my child's rough experience getting promoted at the martial arts school she was attending. To summarize, they had recently changed their promotion requirements to be moved from a white to a blue uniform to be more difficult in order to ensure the kids were ready. She didn't pass the first time she was tested and initially told that she didn't pass the second time either - this obviously led to a lot of tears before it was realized that apparently the instructor had misread the test and she had made a passing score. The post got a lot of attention at the time, and when I shared this story, I got a lot of feedback from some people who were concerned that the school's process of multiple uniforms, with multiple belts per uniform, being charged per test, having to pay for extra private lessons to catch her up, etc. made the school a "McDojo." I didn't want to believe that, because I thought the head of the school was a legitimate and reputable guy and she had been going there for 4+ years - the people there seemed sincere, it didn't feel like the goal was just to make more money. Fast forward several months later, and I'm here to say that I wish I had listened to those warnings. 😞😖 Once she got her new blue uniform, she didn't receive her new belt as expected a few months later because they said she hadn't attended enough classes... she missed one that month... OK, we'll try again. The next month, she didn't get promoted again because they said she didn't earn it, wasn't performing well enough. OK, that's unfortunate, we'll try again this month... 🫤 That brings us to today. Several other definitely mildly infuriating things happened today. She went to her testing day, and didn't get promoted again. In fact, none of the kids in blue uniforms did. Why? Well, explained the instructor, the blue uniform kids are now on a longer cycle to get promoted and can only be tested by the head of the school himself. Where is he? He's on vacation. No promotions today. This was apparently a recent policy change and took us, at least, completely by surprise. Then, when they did promote a couple of lower ranked kids, they explained they would now be giving effectively "half-belts" - inserting new belts with stripes in between where they didn't feel the kid had fully earned a new belt. Another change that seemed to lengthen the timeline, and reminded me of the warnings. Then, and in my opinion most blatantly, I overheard the instructor explaining to another concerned parent how they would now be prioritizing kids who attended *more* than 8 classes a month for promotions - so instead of twice a week, three times a week. However, you have to have to pay an additional cost over the base fees for your child to attend that much. These three factors made the decision to pull her out of the school tonight seem obvious. And even then, there was a final, infuriating postscript - I was told that we would continue to be charged for training for an additional two months because we apparently have to give 60 days notice. That's another $200+ out of our wallet. We're considering what to do now - find a different school? Take a break? She would like to continue in martial arts, but we're definitely a little demoralized by this and worried about trusting another school again that might turn out like this. Image: OOP's last post w/the pic of the daughter Some of OOP's Comments: Grant_Winner_Extra: it’s like the voice in a horror story - can you hear it? Geeeetttttttt Oouuuutttttt! Geeeetttttttt Oouuuutttttt! Check the actual contract. If that clause is not one you signed, quit and dispute any charges. Either way, put in notice yesterday. That place is a shitshow. OOP: Oh, we've put in notice verbally and in writing. Sent the email, all of it. Cookie_Whisperer: How are you paying? If it’s auto charged to your credit card, dispute the charge. I did this when my yoga app closed down and yet they were still charging me every month. OOP: Credit Card. Definitely planning to file a charge back if we get charged again. Bubbles-not-included: I would not be paying that $200, and I wonder how they'd even manage to enforce that. 60 days notice to quit your own hobby? No way. OOP: Yeah, we had no idea, it's apparently a clause buried in whatever waiver they make you sign at the start. I noticed that at least one negative review of the place online specifically mentions that, so we're not alone in this. GarlicThread: Because something is in a waiver does not automatically make it enforceable. You cannot put illegal things in waivers. OOP: I've seen others comment similar, that it could be a bluff and unenforceable - here's hoping! I plan to block them on our credit card. knightsofgel: Is this actually standardized or are these belt levels just all arbitrary bullshit anyway? Here in japan at least martial arts like kendo and karate have very strict federations that standardize all testing and promotion levels. Without something like that I’m inclined to believe it’s all bullshit OOP: I'm definitely going with the arbitrary bullshit answer, especially after today with them pulling out these effectively "half belts" for the kids who didn't fully meet the promotion requirements, or something. My wife was especially furious about that. backwardbuttplug: You've been strung along... Also, your kid was never taught to the level they claimed. OOP: It sure does feel that way about being strung along, especially right now. If anything, I hope the experience just helps boost her self confidence for other physical activities and seeing what happened helps her understand the reality of how the world works a little better. To someone who says daughter probably didn't learn anything: Hey, she actually knocked me back with a roundhouse recently when I was holding a kickshield, and I'm a big guy. I believe she has learned at least something of value. Share the name of the school: I want to, lol, because I'm mad now, and will down the line. My wife's request not to at this moment, at least until we are certain the relationship is fully severed with this whole 60 day nonsense. We're not trying to pick that kind of a fight. Alternative_Mine5343: does the school teach a specific martial art or is this one of the new 'become an mma fighter' themed gyms? i'm finding that to be a big discriminator in real vs grift. OOP: That was part of the reason I originally dismissed the whole McDojo thing - seemed reputable, lineage, specific martial art. I'll name the school once this whole business relationship is confirmed severed. Are other parents suspicious? Honestly, it felt like there were at least a few other parents hanging back to talk to the instructor tonight, so I suspect we won't be the only ones who felt like it was the last straw today. To the many, many people dunking on OOP for not listening: Hey, I was wrong and I wish I had listened before. All we can do now is find something better. Next steps: We're going to look into wrestling and Judo as a first choice next. She's a tall, strong, sturdy kid. Editor's note: OOP had hundreds of comments. I tried to only include a few. For reference, OOP's daughter is also in Cub Scouts so she has more than one outlet. Also, I've marked it as ongoing in case OOP names the school. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
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LucyAriaRose |
Mar 5, 2026 |