Desk Organizer

That $50 regular price is cap 😂.

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Here's everything I learned in 30 years of sales. My top year was over 800K. I'm retired now. Never turn down a job offer. - It doesn't matter what the job or promotion is or how much you don't want it. Come up with a number and a counteroffer. Would you do it for 500K a year? If they can't afford you - that's their problem, not yours. Start by finding the most successful salesperson and asking them to mentor you. Don't waste their time. Ask for lunch every month if possible. Come prepared, take notes, be thankful. Some people want to mentor and share knowledge; find them. Don't use them as a wiki for every question you have. In my opinion, territory sales with repeat customers (distribution and repeat sales) are the best option for reducing burnout. One-off sales are grueling, and it's a numbers game. Building a territory is a very different long-term commitment. Sometimes I called on customers until the decision maker retired. I had 20-year relationships with many of my customers. I had actual employee badges for some customers. You can absolutley build that type of trust and teamwork with that much time. Take care of business on the front end of the call and keep it tight. Be prepared, sort emails from that customer, and make notes for the meeting before you walk in. Especially if it is a standing appointment. After everything is discussed, move on to Jimmy's soccer practice, the customer's daughter's wedding, and so on. If you can get them to laugh, like really belly laugh, GTFO ASAP. It's like stand-up comedy. Exit stage right. It takes practice, but it's a skill you will hone. You can waste hours talking to customers, but keep it for the wrap-up. If you miss a customer, leave a business card on their door. They might remember they needed you for something, and at least - they will know you were there that week. Keep it short. If you ask a customer for three minutes, you'd better end in three minutes. There's nothing worse than someone who takes up a lot of time and doesn't get to the point. I remember talking to customers who would see another rep who doesn't respect their time, and they never have good things to say. They literally look for an escape hatch. Don't be that person. Use a pen. Get a notebook and write things down. I don't know what it is, but customers love it. They feel like the president. If you have a to-do item, write it down in front of them. I never used a phone in front of a customer to send myself a reminder email or type a note. They don't know if you are playing Pokémon or browsing Tinder. That's what their kids do to them. Just get a notebook and write it down like a reporter. After the call, walk out to the lobby and just do it. Open the notebook and do whatever you need to do right there in the lobby. If the customer sees an email three minutes after speaking with you, that makes an impression. After a few years of flawless follow-up, they will trust you with any project. You will have less to do that night. Get the ball rolling and finish it ASAP. Ask for a tour. Customers love to give the tour. Act interested and be quiet. Let them talk. If you are cold-calling and nervous, don't be. Walk up to the reception desk with a big smile and just tell the lady, "Here's what I do, and I have no idea where to go or who to speak with." She will usually grab your hand, make introductions, and possibly give you a slice of pie. That's her job. I had a CEO that I really wanted to impress, but I never met the guy and couldn't get a meeting. I did my research and found out he was on the board of directors for the Boy Scouts. I wrote a simple letter introducing myself and briefly explaining my goal for a 20 min meeting. I closed the letter with "If you don't think I delivered anything of value, I will donate $200 in your name to the Boy Scouts" as a thank-you for your time. I sent the letter via FedEx. The beauty is that it will be the first thing on his desk in the morning, and his assistant won't open it to scan it. This works for applying to jobs, sending a FedEx letter to the decision-maker with a cover letter, and for a CV that stands out (especially in sales interviews). If a buyer refuses to see you or interact with you at all, you can always explain to them, "I'm here to try and save your organization money and improve your operations. I might be speaking to the wrong people. Can you at least tell me where to go?" Sometimes it's good to remind them what they do for a living. It's their job to investigate opportunities to improve their supply chain and lower costs. Regarding co-workers and bosses, you need to learn the "Landlord Rule". Be friendly, be nice, be accommodating, but you are not friends. This is business. You usually won't be best friends with your landlord, but you can be friendly. If you decide to trust someone you are close to, don't gossip, don't say anything that could sink you. Don't drink at work functions. Relationships (especially with management) get weird when you are making 3X what they are. There will be people you absolutley despise in your career, don't let them get to you - that's what they want. Don't be surprised if you're never asked to join the management club. You are keeping the lights on. You can't take the pretty one off the corner. If coworkers complain that you make too much money, just encourage them to apply for the job if they think it's easy and high-paying. CRM is a tool that won't teach you how to sell anything. It's an HR tool and usually a waste of time. They will either fire you for lying and making stuff up or for not working. They will absolutley adjust quotas with it. Do it if you must, but also find your own way. Falling into the right company is tricky. Privately held companies tend to pay much more (in my opinion). Straight commission takes a lot of discipline, but uncapped commissions are the only way to really skyrocket the income. What it did for me was priceless. I never carried any debt, I always kept a massive cash reserve, and I invested like crazy. YMMV, but if you can put together a lifestyle that allows you to take a risk on yourself, do it. It also changes the tone of the relationship with the company. You are paid to do one thing and one thing only. You can usually do it your way if you prove you can consistently do it well. I literally told my manager I didn't care about my yearly review. It didn't pay my bills. Keep doing the things that make you money, because it's making the company money. Large conglomerates that want an army of identical salespeople saying the same thing and doing everything the same way can be outright stifling. You will make mistakes. Own up to them. If you aren't making mistakes, you aren't working. Ask what you can do to make it right and do it. You need to break things sometimes. Ask for forgiveness later. Fight for your customers. Get on the phone. Get loud. Escalate. I once had a warehouse VP tell me he wasn't going to ship something we needed for a customer. We got into it. I hung up, called the company owner, and told him to hold the line. I pulled the warehouse guy back on the line and told him to explain it to the owner. It was shipped in ten minutes. If your company doesn't promote this culture, find another company. Confrontation can be done respectfully, but I just never figured that out. If you see something unethical, say something. Make suggestions to management that make things easier or are just logical. A lot of companies don't keep up with technology. The cow paths run deep. If you see an easy way to automate something or cut out needless work, suggest it. Don't be surprised if they take all the credit for it. Ask in a "what if we" way. Keep a running list of these ideas for the future. Finally, every $1 million saved yields $40K annually in retirement income at a 4% draw. Find your number and figure out how to get there from here. That's what this is all about. The sooner you get there, the sooner you can do what you want to do. At the end of the day, remember - you don't own this thing. The company owns it, and it can end at any minute. There is one thing that is absolutley certain when you start a new job; one day you will no longer work there. Realize this on the front end and get to work. Save that money and invest early. The more you have packed away, the less stress you will have. The less stress you have, the more money you will make. IDK why it works like that. Good luck - Godspeed. submitted by /u/thebiglebowskiisfine to r/sales [link] [comments]

The guy who sells this stl pack has done such a great job! His name is the workspace hero and his products are fire! I'm currently printing the extended laptop stand for this setup and then next I'm printing the bookend mounts for the shelf I printed for our bedroom. I sanded and stained the wooden dowels that connect everything and I'm so stoked with how it's come out! I had to modify the watch charger with my 3d pen as my watch is a little older and he didn't have the exact mount for my charger. submitted by /u/8lacksunshine to r/3Dprinting [link] [comments]

I’ve been playing with an idea to keep small desk items like notebooks, pens, headphones off the desk but still within easy reach. It’s a modular wall panel where you can move shelves, hooks, and trays around, kind of like a flexible pegboard. Could you see yourself actually using something like this in your own setup? Would it help you keep your workspace clearer and easier to manage ? These are just rough 3D mockups to help visualize it. Honest thoughts welcome ! submitted by /u/Confident_Sun8369 to r/homeoffice [link] [comments]

Dear sub that covered for me yesterday, First of all thank you for coming in. Now, I know you think cleaning/organizing my desk helpful and a nice thing to do. But I am a very “organized mess” kind of person and now I can’t find anything. I’m not mad per se, but if it’s a mess please leave it a mess. The random strewn about papers are indeed not random. Thanks. Edit: adding this- All sub materials are in a folder that is smack in the middle of my desk. My “desk” is actually 2 science tables in an L shape (I don’t teach science but the room came with the tables). The smaller leg of the L is my work area. It was clear for the sub. They organized my long side where I had papers for competition/PD training materials for the training I have to lead after break, etc. like I said I’m not mad, but a little frustrated. submitted by /u/Z3st3dL3mon to r/SubstituteTeachers [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Complex-Wing7114 I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband Originally posted to r/offmychest Thanks to u/soayherder & u/Pawleygirl76 for suggesting this BoRU and finding the new update BoRU 1 BoRU 2 BoRU 3 BoRU 4 BoRU 5 TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, abusive behavior, stalking, assault, physical violence, DARVO Original Post Apr 27, 2024 Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable. Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well. He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day. Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off. He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this? Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully. Update Apr 28, 2024 So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime. All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath. I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do. I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him. There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job. Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time. Update 2 Apr 30, 2024 Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes. Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm. I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind. My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in. Update 3 May 7, 2024 It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left. My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through. I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this. I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown. Update 4 May 14, 2024 Sorry I haven't updated for a while, things got hectic and a bit chaotic honestly. Firstly, I'm working on getting an apartment still and have applications in at three different places and will hopefully hear back from them soon. I'm still going into work here at the new location, so I don't have to worry about burning through my emergency savings completely. I've gotten a lot of emails from Alex, his family and our old friend group asking question after question. I have only sent one return email to Alex, explaining that I don't believe we are truly compatible, and it is best we separate now. That his treatment of me when I'd done nothing to deserve as such was just as much of a deal breaker as cheating was for him. I ended the email with the statement that I would not be contacting him further and anything else he needed to pass on to me or vice versa would be done through my lawyer. For his family and friends, I just typed up one email outlining everything that had happened and why I left. I told them I wished them no ill will, but that such treatment of his wife and partner was not acceptable. That should Alex get remarried in the future, I wished they would help support both partners and not just Alex. Alex, from what my lawyer told me, was livid when he was served. The sheriff actually ended up booking him for assault on an officer and menacing due to the threats he was shouting. His father bailed him out in a few hours, but with the testimony of the sheriff, my lawyer believes I have a very good chance at getting a restraining order. Alex, upon returning to the house, apparently lost his temper again, breaking the dining table into pieces as well as the tv, and putting several holes in the walls. At least that's what one of the emails from one of our friends reported as Alex called him to help him clean up the mess. My lawyer already has pictures of the house I took, with timestamps as evidence nothing had been damaged by me. My friend reported that Alex tried to claim I'd been the one to trash the house but the holes in the wall were at head height - Alex is 6'3", and I'm 5'4" so he knew that was false. Either way, taking the pictures definitely will help me so again thank you everyone here for the advice because I never would have thought of that on my own. My work won't share details of where I am, as I do work with some higher end clientele who value security and that information won't be gossiped about and no, I'm not some stripper or escort. I deal with contracts, notary and business management. As such, even if Alex tried to use my work to find me, he wouldn't succeed. Update on leaving May 26, 2024 It’s been a little bit, and I thought I’d answer some questions before giving my update. It may be a while after this until things change. Firstly, No I didn’t bring my car. The public transport here is good enough to use without needing one. I have secured an apartment, and the building has good security. You need a key card to enter, and there is a security guard at a desk right by the entrance to the building. As part of my contract, I gave them a photo of Alex and his family so that even in the off chance they do find me, they won’t be let in. The responses I got from the emails varied. His family said I was overreacting, and that I owe Alex an apology for the problems this has caused him. The pending criminal charges puts him at risk of losing his job if he’s convicted. Alex sent a long email, apologizing and pleading for me to come home. He said he was worried for me, that he is willing to go to therapy if it will appease me. He wants us to remain together, and he didn’t think leaving was an appropriate response to his genuine concern and worry for my health and safety. The friends gave somewhat lacking replies, saying that they didn’t think Alex was ever going to hurt me and that I shouldn’t be letting my imagination run away wild. As much as I want to say I was surprised by the lack of support, I’m honestly not. He intends to fight the divorce. I am letting my lawyer handle it, and I am also pursuing a protective order as well. Once I got approved for my apartment, I also froze my credit. I’ve changed my phone carrier and number, as well as making sure none of my documents list Alex as next of kin or POA. Some have asked why I was so paranoid about Alex and his possible future actions. The answer for that actually is somewhat simple – my grandmother. I loved that woman to bits. As a teen, she explained why my grandfather was never around. He was extremely abusive and manipulative, and her generation didn’t allow divorce really. She wouldn’t have been able to buy a house or get a good enough job to support her and my mother on her own. As such, she endured it, shielded my mom as she could until my grandfather died. When I felt like I may have been overreacting, I remembered how she’d said she’d always wished she’d been able to see grandfather for what he was early on when she may have been able to annul the marriage. I don’t know when I’ll update again, maybe when the divorce goes through or if something big happens but until then, I’m just trying to keep my head above the water. Another Update June 25, 2024 It’s been a month since my previous update, and I wanted to share some of what’s been going on in the meantime. The divorce is proceeding, but even though I don’t need him to agree – and he’s not – it means I have to go through the courts to get it approved. As such, it could be upwards of six months to push it through even though I’m filing without attempting to claim property, alimony or compensation. I just want a clean break and separation. Alex has attempted to use our friends to reach out to me, as he doesn’t want to use my lawyer for communication. He’s saying its disrespectful and cowardly to hide behind my lawyer and not meet him face to face. Alex wrote me a letter that he did pass off to my lawyer, but the contents were him justifying his actions and claiming that in today's time it is dangerous for women to be on their own which is why he was so intent on trying to keep me safe from harm. He wanted me to understand that he was trying to protect me as best he could and was hurt that I would just lie to him and hide my actions from him related to my dissatisfaction with our marriage and my moving. I didn’t reply, because at no point did he apologize. All he did was turn everything around on me as I was being overly dramatic, emotional and cowardly. There was a second letter with Alex’s from my SIL. Her letter… was honestly disturbing and completely justified my misgivings regarding approaching her in any kind of professional capacity. She spent five paragraphs detailing how a ‘real abusive’ relationship looked like and that Alex was the furthest thing from abusive. The details she included were all related to financial abuse and physical abuse. Nothing like what Alex had been doing. She stated that my attempts to smear her brother’s name for attention and clout made me the abuser not him. I haven’t really been able to process that admittedly. Part of me can’t help but wonder if she’s right. I mean, I blindsided him by leaving as I did and am refusing to speak with him at all. My old boss recommended that I look into getting into therapy after I moved, and I think I need to. I have had a hard time adjusting to being on my own, I keep censoring myself and haven’t even gone out to eat yet. I always end up worrying about what if someone sees me, what if I get in trouble for spending my money on something frivolous… My lawyer is continuing to fight for the divorce, and I shouldn’t need to be physically present in court. Any meetings needed between me and the judge can be done via zoom. I’m trying to avoid confrontation with Alex and his family for now as much as I can and passed both letters to my lawyer in case he needs them. Our friends are mostly trying to avoid taking sides still, and I’m honestly approaching the point of just letting them go as well. I’m tired of fighting for them to understand at this point. I don’t know if anything is going to happen, so my next update may not be until around mid-November depending on how long it takes to push the divorce through. Work is going well, and it’s helpful to have something familiar to anchor my day to day life when so much has changed and is changing even now. Divorce Proceeding Update Oct 17, 2024 It’s been a while since I last updated, as I needed to let the court step in as Alex was not willing to grant my request for a divorce. We started with mediated session via zoom, but after four sessions it was decided that no compromise could be reached between us. The things Alex was pushing for were one’s I’m not even willing to humor let alone agree to. He wanted me to tell our friends and those I’d sent the information to about his actions that I’d made it up in order to gain sympathy. He also wanted me to pay him for defamation and suffering, especially the wages he lost because of sitting in jail for two days and missing work before getting bailed out. Lastly, he also wanted me to return and to quote him ‘stop my foolish behavior and act like a proper wife and partner.’ Yeah no. So, needless to say, our ‘mediated’ sessions went absolutely nowhere. The judge isn’t seeming to buy into Alex’s act thankfully, because he’s certainly tried. It took me far too long to see Alex for who he was, and part of me feels like an idiot because I didn’t see it at all. Yet, the judge seemed to clock him for exactly what he is within the first meeting. Maybe I just didn’t want to see it. I don’t know. Alex ended up arguing with the Judge a LOT, even being held in contempt four different times. I think it's honestly why this moved as quick as it did. It didn't help that Alex tried to pull in his family as character witnesses but they were dismissed by the Judge as the 'abuse wasn't seen or heard by them, and as such, they only knew part of Alex's character.' In his closing statement after he approved the divorce, he went on to call Alex a narcissist and that if Alex loved himself so much to abuse the one he'd married to let the divorce happen and marry a mirror next. I didn't think a Judge was allowed to say that. At all. But my lawyer just shook his head and told me not to say anything so we left. So here’s the update I’m sure everyone’s been hoping for and guessed: I’m officially divorced. The documents were processed three days ago, and I’m still in disbelief. I have no contact with Alex any longer, nor do I want any. I’m not going to give our friends my new contact information. I may not have replied to everyone, though I tried, but I did read all of your comments. I really did. Your repeated statements about how they weren’t actually friends really helped me see that they weren’t. So, I decided that since I moved far from that place, I needed to start over. New home, new place, new friends. It’s slow, and I’ve started therapy though it took almost three months to get it due to the usual wait times but I’ve been going three times a week ever since. It’s helping, even with things I thought were done and dusted. Alex didn’t take the divorce well according to my lawyer who’s been keeping up with him to make sure he stays away from me. He did something at work, I don’t know what as obviously I have no way to gain that information, but whatever it was cost him his job. My lawyer also did something I didn’t expect him to, but something I think everyone will like – He took the letter my ex-sil sent me and forwarded it to the domestic violence organization she works for along with an formal statement regarding Alex, his actions, and the decision of the Judge. She’s been let go as well, and given how tight those organizations are with one another, my lawyer said that the likely hood of her getting a position at another is slim to none. I actually laughed, though I was a bit teary, when he said that and that ‘slim is on a leaky rowboat to China.’ I’ve been crying a lot lately, but my therapist says it’s normal and shows I’m actually processing things instead of bottling them up and pushing them down. I’ll try to update in a month or so, if my emotions level out some, to explain a few more of the details but I wanted to get this out there, and thank everyone for their continued support and encouragement. I appreciate each and every one of you. I really do. You gave me the hope that leaving him wasn’t going to be this giant black mark I’d never heal from or move on from. Work is going well, and the sense of normality and routine is helping me avoid feeling like everything has been spiraling out of control. I'm working on me now... Nov 18, 2024 It's been a month since I finally was able to share the success of my divorce from Alex. My mood swings are still happening, but they don't last quite as long anymore so I'm taking that as a good sign. My therapist recommended that I sign up for some kind of physical activity, just to help work out and channel what she called the fight/flight instincts more. So I've joined a local self-defense club and I'm going twice a week. I felt really awkward in the beginning, but they've all been super nice and welcoming so it's been easier. It has helped I think, a lot of my jitteriness and anxiety has calmed and I'm sleeping better as well. I've also joined a book club, though it's all online at the moment, they're discussing the possibility of meeting in person rather than over skype at a local park. It's hard, honestly. I feel like a kid that just changed schools and sometimes feel like it's either sink or swim. My therapist pointed out that if I feel like I'm sinking to stop, take a step back and remind myself that I have all the control over my actions - if I don't like something I don't have to do it. I can feel my emotions but I also need to not let them control and dictate my actions. She also pointed out how I've developed a tendency to try and fix other people's bad moods. She told me that they're adults, and it's not my responsibility to manage anyone else's emotions other than my own. It's been hard. But... I'm getting there. I think in a year, as a celebration for my divorce, I may go visit my grandmother's grave. Just to talk if nothing else as silly as that may sound. I passed on your thanks to my lawyer, who smiled and said - a bit smugly I might add - that he loves giving people who thought they were untouchable the karma they deserved. He went on to add that he enjoyed being 'Karma's helping hand'. My lawyer has kept abreast of what's been happening with Alex and his sister both, just to make sure they don't try anything. According to him, my ex-sil threw a fit when she was let go from the DV center, enough that she was barred from the premises. It seems that she shares some traits with her brother in regards to temper. She's now working at Lowes apparently, as while she was a volunteer at the DV center, she has to pay some fines for damages she caused during the incident that got her banned. As for Alex, he's been quiet which worried me at first. But my lawyer told me he's keeping his head down. He's gotten another job with a construction crew, but with everything he has to pay, he cannot afford to lose his job. I was awarded damages for emotional distress and harm, as he never touched me physically. I was able to prove my statements thanks to records of the text conversations between Alex and I regarding the tracker and not leaving the house without permission. As my financial situation is stable, I don't need Alimony, so my Lawyer advised not to try for it and focus on compensation for damages in stead. Alex's family apparently hates me now, as they've reached out to my lawyer, telling him to pass on the message that I've successfully ruined both Alex and his sister's lives over my 'lies'. Honestly, at this point... I'm getting to the point of not caring anymore. I only have so much to give right now for emotional needs and I want it for my own, not to expend on someone else if that makes any kind of sense. So that's where I'm at right now. It's hard, coming up to the holidays and being alone but a few weeks ago, I found a kitten in the alley next to my work. He's a tiny, raggedy little thing. He's black, long hair with three white paws and he's also missing his tail. He's got the first vertebrae but nothing else. According to the vet, mom may have accidently bitten it off at birth... which I didn't even know happened but apparently it does. I'm calling him Bandit. So I'm not alone anymore, but now I have a kitten that thinks EVERYTHING needs to be hunted... including my toes to I wear slippers constantly cause those little claws of his are like freaking daggers I swear. I'll update again if anyone wants me to, but yeah... that's where things are now. Bandit photos per request Nov 18, 2024 OOP pays cat tax with 10 pics of Bandit NEW UPDATE Update on my new life Feb 1, 2026 Hello everyone, I know it's been a long time since my last update. I didn't want to bog everyone down with small little things here and there as recovering and learning who I am feels like a process that never seems to end. But good things have happened, my life has stabilized, and I wanted to give all of you who have supported me and offered me advice and encouragement the update you deserve. So here goes. First, Bandit is doing great. He's a little skittish sometimes, I think from just finding him as a stray kitten some of that still stuck around but he's quiet and a menace all at once. I sometimes wonder if he sent out signal because about five months ago another kitten decided to make my house his home and I couldn't say no. So now I have two cats. His name is Maverick and he lives up, and down, to his name constantly. He's a full time cuddler as if you sit he wants on your lap and purrs constantly, adores meat, and loves to make Bandits life chaos like an annoying little brother. I can provide photos if anyone wants them. Second, my job is going well. It's stable, challenging and keeps me focused so I'm not getting lost in my own head all the time as I might have if the work was easy. The rest of the time I feel like I'm a cat herder and losing. I signed a lease on a new apartment, about a month ago, I've got a good 1B/1B apartment that came with an in unit washer/dryer which was got so excited for then felt so old at the fact that I got excited over that. Health wise, I got a new GP and had a bunch of tests run and thankfully everything came back clear though she did warn I showed signs of high blood pressure, but that it could be caused due to stress and circumstances rather than diet or genetics and encouraged me to continue with my physical exercise. I've also started what I call international night, where on friday nights after work I cook a dish/meal from another country. It's been fun, I've had good and bad ones admittedly but it's been enjoyable so if anyone has any recipe suggestions I'd love to hear them! Therapy is still a process but progress is there. I'm not panicking or having spirals nearly as much, and when I do they aren't as bad. Notably so. I've made a decent group of friends here, and while none are 'sister' level yet, they are good people, and genuinely care about me. I did visit my grandmother's grave about two months ago. Had a breakdown there but in spite of the snow I still felt warm if that makes any sense, even if the wind made my face feel like a kid licking a frozen pole ouch. It helped to just pour it out to someone who understood, and couldn't say anything, to just vent and bleed it out. My therapist 'requested' I call her after, and I did so. It feels weird to have someone so invested in my mental health like that even outside of her office. Good weird though. Lastly, Alex and his family. I haven't contacted them, haven't wanted to honestly. I know I've gotten a lot of DM's from people claiming that by saying how much I thought about what Alex and his family did meant I missed my Ex-Husband and felt guilty. I don't quite follow that logic but I just didn't respond to them. That said, no I don't miss him or his family. I miss what I thought I once had, and mourn the future we could have had had he not turned out to be a controlling narcissist. But I don't miss him, his family, nor do I regret leaving. Alex is still working at the construction company, and his sister was let go from Lowes though why I don't know, nor do I care all that much as long as they leave me alone. Alex is dating again, but none of them seem to stick around long. He was charged by the officer for the assault, but got off with probation sadly. I know it might be a bit of a boring update given the chaotic whirlwind it was before, but the calm is so nice. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm okay, I'm still healing and to thank you all again for your advice, support and encouragement. More Cat Tax Bandit and Maverick per request THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My coworker Linda (63F) is retiring next month after 40 years at the company. HR is collecting money for a big retirement gift - they're asking for $50 per person to buy her a fancy watch. Linda has been absolutely terrible to me (28F) since I started 3 years ago. She's made comments about my age, questioned my qualifications, undermined me in meetings, and generally treated me like I'm incompetent. When the collection envelope came around I passed without contributing. My manager pulled me aside asking if I forgot. I said no, I'm choosing not to contribute. She looked shocked and said everyone contributes to retirement gifts. I said I don't feel comfortable giving $50 to someone who's been hostile to me for 3 years. My manager said I'm being petty and holding grudges. I said it's not a grudge, it's choosing not to financially celebrate someone who made my work life miserable. Now several coworkers are giving me looks. Someone left a sticky note on my desk saying "be the bigger person." The collection organizer came by again asking if I "reconsidered." I told her my decision is final. She said it'll be obvious I didn't contribute when they announce the gift amount. I said that's fine. My boyfriend thinks I should just contribute to avoid drama but I genuinely don't want to give money to someone who's been mean to me for years. TL;DR: Refusing to contribute $50 to retirement gift for coworker who's been horrible to me, everyone says I'm being petty and should contribute anyway. submitted by /u/Agitated-Result-4553 to r/AmITheJerk [link] [comments]