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My boyfriend stopped by earlier this evening to borrow some money from me and one thing led to another and things started to get a little hot and heavy. But after about an hour he had to go back to work and do some maintenance on the ice machine at the restaurant. He promised me he would only be there about an hour and then he was going to come right back to spend the night with me. While he was gone I made a really nice dinner, got all dolled up in my sexiest lingerie that I have been saving for a special occasion. After about two hours had passed I called him to see if he was running late. His reply was no, I decided to come home and do my laundry instead of coming back over. Okay this is where I might have overreacted. I told him that it was very apparent just how little he actually cares about me and I only exist to him when he needs something. But I thanked him for making me feel completely stupid but at the same time I told him at least I can stop bending over backwards and killing myself trying to make him happy. I took off my lingerie and threw it in the dumpster and told him I’m done with him only wanting to see me when he needs something or it’s convenient. I don’t know Reddit Am I Overreacting? submitted by /u/JoeJr_1980 to r/AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Trappedinbath I (24F) am currently trapped in my BF's (26M) bathroom in lingerie and nervous to go out Original Post Oct 25, 2016 Okay, hear me out because this is pretty embarrassing. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and things are great but we haven't had sex in 9 months now due to his stress levels, and a bit of depression. He had almost no libido. I've tried initiating sex but I've been rejected constantly. I'm on the verge of just giving up. So I bought some really nice lingerie (that he heard about) a few months ago and given how nice a time we've been having I decided to try again tonight. So that's why I'm currently in the bathroom wearing lingerie. I want to go out and see what happens but I don't know if I can handle a no again. Should I go out and try again for some sexy times? I can just change into something normal and nothing would happen. Which means a normal evening. But I really really crave that intimacy with him. Tldr: trapped in BF's bathroom wearing lingerie and don't know if I should bother coming out RELEVANT COMMENTS degeneratescholar This is probably a bad idea. You've put yourself in a no win situation unless he responds the way you want him to. Something is up with a 26YO man not having sex for 9 months. Is the medication killing his libido? If so, he needs to talk to his doctor about it. Unless you want to be in a sexless relationship, something on his end needs to change and you need to tell him that. OOP His medication did kill his libido but he got medication to help with that. But it really hasn't changed anything...he doesn't instigate and puts things off. I'm on vacation with him the entire week and any time I've mentioned having a little fun in bed he tells me "we have all week". I miss the guy who couldn't keep his hands off me. TheTreeWithTheOwl If you go out in lingerie and it's a complete surprise to him and he's been feeling stressed out and particularly depressed, it may overwhelm him and he may just say no. Maybe go out in normal "cute" pajamas and casually initiate sex. Don't build it up to be this big thing that could overwhelm him. Be casual but sexy. If you guys do have sex and it's great, break out the lingerie the next time! OOP You are right. I didn't think it'd be a surprise since I've been hinting at it and he's done a few of his usual things throughout the day that always lead to sex, but I don't want to find out I was misreading him. I'm just going to change. OOP You guys are right. I'm changing into some regular pajamas...tbh I don't know if I can handle another rejection even if I'm not supposed to take it badly, it's just too much for me. TorchedBlack Then honestly you need to talk to him about how much it's damaging your relationship. He needs to make a conscious effort to get back to a place where sex is normal. Whether that's going to a therapist or talking to his doctor more, there are likely other options he hasn't persued yet Update - rareddit Nov 16, 2016 (3 weeks later) Hi, reddit. After my original post and your advice, I changed back into my normal lounging clothes and went back out into the open like nothing had happened. My plan was to go on with the night and just wait and see what happened, but I ended up bringing up the issue of not having sex for 9 months with my boyfriend. He admitted he didn't even realize it had been that long, but he had been so stressed with work and life, and the depression killing his libido that that he hadn't even thought about having sex with me at all. It just wasn't even something that was part of his thinking process. That hurt a lot...so I asked him if he even found me attractive at all. He scoffed at that and said that he's always found me very beautiful and attractive, but he feels useless because his libido is shot because of his depression medication. Finally I brought up that his doctor did give him a prescription to help with that, and there he admitted he didn't even bring it with him. After all this I let him know we have similar issues: I may not be in school but I manage a business and that's stressful as heck, and I've dealt with depression all my life. But ultimately, sex is one of the ways I express my love for him and it's really important to me. He listened to me and apologized, saying that he did want to and he'd definitely try to make sure we spend some intimate time together during our time off. Tonight was off the table, and I went off to bed early because frankly, I was really upset and needed to be alone. The rest of the week went smoothly. We went out, we dined at restaurants and we had fun together but nothing really happened. And the entire time I could only think about how lonely and frustrated I was. I felt more like a friend than a girlfriend. The week after that and still nothing really happened. And ultimately that's when I said I had enough. I had given my boyfriend the opportunity to initiate with me and try to take what I said seriously to him and nothing had changed. One night, I went over to him and told him what I needed to say, as painful as it was to me. And reddit, I'm kinda embarrassed to admit I broke up with him in tears. This was the man I had plans to start a family with. To marry and love him for the rest of my life. But I couldn't do it anymore. I laid it all out to him during that vacation about how important sex was to me and how his rejections made me feel, he had promised to try SOMETHING and nothing had happened. I couldn't do it anymore. He started crying to and promised he'd do anything to keep me with him but I told him it was too late. This wasn't a couple of months of rejection. It had been nearly a year. And frankly, this wasn't the first time we spoke about it either. There was always a "It'll get better". It never did. I've blocked him everywhere because I can't take seeing his name pop up. I know if I take a message from him I'll want to go back to him. I still can't stop crying when I think about him and it's been almost two weeks. I miss him dearly. But I couldn't take it anymore. tl;dr: Spoke to him, things didn't change. I've broken up with him, even though it hurt so badly to do so. FINAL COMMENTS [deleted] not having sex for 9 months Good grief. Nobody can blame you here. Incompatibility is a deadend. Commenter Yeah, I'm going on 3 months, and that alone stresses me out as a newly wed. I can't imagine 9, I'm don't think I'd let it get that far. drleospacemandds I think you ultimately made the right choice as hard as it was/is. You gave him ample opportunities to address the problems and it just doesn't seem like he was able to do that. Good luck to you in healing and moving on. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

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