Mens Casual Outfits Summer

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submitted by /u/Primary_Concert_1045 to r/WEYGSHOP [link] [comments]

Hey all — COOFANDY brand team here. We put together a summer wardrobe guide and figured the capsule framework might be useful for anyone trying to build a functional warm-weather rotation without buying a ton of stuff. The concept: 5 pieces → 12+ distinct outfits, covering BBQs, beach weddings, office, travel, and date nights. The 5 pieces: Neutral linen short-sleeve shirt → BBQs, weekends, casual travel Fitted cotton-linen button-down (deeper tone) → office, date night, evenings Relaxed-fit linen pants (light neutral) → pairs with both shirts Slim/tapered pants (navy or charcoal) → office, date night, dressier events Linen matching set → beach weddings, travel, instant complete outfit Why the matching set goes first: It's the most versatile single buy — you get a complete coordinated outfit AND two separates that work independently with your other pieces. If you only buy one thing, this covers the widest range. The scenario formulas: BBQ: Shirt #1 + Pants #3 + sneakers Beach wedding: Set #5 (complete) Office: Shirt #2 + Pants #4 + loafers Travel: Set shirt + Pants #3 or set complete Date night: Shirt #2 + Pants #4 + leather shoes The "12+" math: Each shirt works with each pant. The set pieces also mix in. That's 9 shirt-pant combos + the complete set + the set pieces mixed with other items = 12+ combinations before factoring in shoes/accessories. Full guide with the complete cross-styling matrix and "what to avoid" per scenario: https://coofandy.com/blogs/guides/mens-summer-wardrobe-guide-shirts-pants-sets Open to questions on fabric choices, fit, or any of the formulas. submitted by /u/Coofandy to r/Coofandy_FashionStyle [link] [comments]

Matched with 39M, chatted a few days, I asked him to coffee. Weather was comfortable, overcast evening, we met at a Starbucks at 6pm. Wore my standard first date outfit of nice jeans, flats, and a cute floral top. He wore sneakers, cargo shorts, and a (subtle) fandom themed tshirt. He said I looked nice, I said thanks, I usually wear jeans an a tshirt on weekends but I dress up a bit for dates. He said something like "I like to dress comfortably." ​ As I was driving home and mulling over the meet, I couldn't help but feel a bit... disappointed I guess?.. that he didnt put a bit of effort in, considering it's a first impression and I always try to look casual nice (Bigger issue was he didnt ask me much and the convo felt too one sided, but I need no perspectives on that lol) ​ Ladies and any Men who may be lurking, is this typical for a summer coffee date? submitted by /u/FurryPotatoSquad to r/AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]

Okay, I'll bite: I spent a little over an hour doing an experiment by seeing how much this subreddit creates topics for the explicit purpose of complaining about men by using the past seven days of topics created as a sample - I have the day off, after all, so I have the time and the interest. It's not a super-scientific experiment, the critera is simply, "Does this topic involve simply complaining about men?" because I don't count a topic of game discussion that includes how men react to it because that is just a portion of the topic's discussion. So what were the results? Male-related Bash/Rant/Vent Pretty sure my gaming friend is misogynist, but the discord is acting like I’m crazy???? [TW: HOMOPHOBIA], TRANSPHOBIA] Video: The transphobia debuff in gaming In game partner got TOO attached, what do I do? Absolute fed up with literally everything being called "woke" now. Yes we do though? God of War Laufey is getting a huge backlash for making the character intentionally less appealing than the actress, Deborah Ann Woll Had to quit one of my fav childhood mmos because of toxic people (vent/rant) Can’t even play games in peace anymore (TW Homophobia) i don’t feel like a good enough gamer for my bf (mild rant) Has anyone else experienced this with a streamer's community? GOW Laufey discourse I’m so tired of comments like these Anyone else feel like guys are way more likely to engage in stuff like platform wars? Steam's stance on discourse currently is Alt-Right Can someone explain to me gamergate and Anita Sarkeesian controversy? Sometimes I forget how male-leaning Reddit as a whole is until I get reality checked on it Totally not weird interaction I had today: Tired of always feeling like the token woman Gothic Remake So tired of men invading our spaces Male-unrelated Advice/Gaming/Gaming Culture Topic [Rimworld] Cozy futuristic diner build Someone recommend me a game before I lose my mind How do you play hollow knight silk song? Mobile games? Apps for rating video games?? Hoping someone can help Any clue why my x button doesnt work !!! It works in the menu settings but once i go inside the games or any apps like netflix it doesnt work at all ?anyone facing the same issues ? Haven't played in a while! And I need a new rpg to play Idk how I feel about paralives Which feminine game villain(s) you fell into? Hey there, Is the Witcher series okay? I got an Elden Ring tattoo Any point-and-click fans in this group? What should I play next? Heartopia vs Stardew Valley: which one is actually better for someone who just wants to turn their brain off? For the Dave the Diver and Lovecraft fans around God of War: What should I play before Laufey? what do you all do in minecraft? The change I'm how we view exclusives (and other ranty points) I just found out about Laufey. I'm so excited ... I always feel way more immersed in horror games with female protagonists. A message to those who actively support game exclusivity to a specific platform Looking for a Visual Novel Rec Just a quick painting of my cat watching the loading screen of Halcyon Days at Taoyuan God of War Laufey has me in a CHOKEHOLD I want to say thank you. Mobile Games to Check Every Once in a While? Summer Game Fest airs Women Led Games Showcase today at 4pm PST Choices Matter & ~5gb or less My summer game fest mention predictions Lol I helped a little bit 😂 There's a game called Hyke: Northern Lights... Any Final Fantasy fans? Anyone excited for FF7 Part 3? My honest criticism of God of War Laufey , from someone who played and loved the last two God of War games . Gaming helped me get through a really ugly chapter of my life Mourning for Ghost of Yotei Games that you love but have lost hope on a sequel or successor. Anyone who plays GTA, can you tell me what winning a plushie from this machine does? Use of AI in new Tomb Raider reboot id disappointing, but not surprising I can't believe we're getting a Wolverine game before we're (ever?) getting a Wonder Woman game We are a small team creating a cozy horror game called Vale's Echo. It's inspired by one of my favorite games - Fran Bow Finally, a game where my MC is allowed to be messy and sarcastic Guild Wars 3 hype!!! Stellar Blade: BLOOD RAIN | Official Reveal Trailer Has anyone played Buried Stars or Paradise Killer? WELCOME BACK CLAIRE REDFIELD!!! ❤️ So excited for this! help me pick Aesthetics for my PC setup! Hyte Y70 (pics for inspo of what I find cute) So hyped for 1666: Amsterdam! Zen Word search games Claire looks AMAZING!!!! Opinion on every games shown at SGF 2026 RDR2 - What's your fave female character? My pc doesn’t let me play Roblox ps5 game recommendations? How to get better at decoration games? Do I need to play God of War? What do you think about games with over the shoulder cinematic camera? I’m so excited for Dressmaker! Legends ZA has flaws, but I'm really loving the game. Wanted to share my outfits throughout the game, from start to now! 💕 In dire need of weirdly specific lets plays from woman! Part 2!! Anyone else play Skyrim? Ever wanted to love a game that is really clunky? That's my situation now with Dungeons of Hinterberg. what a game you like but don’t understand why? Godzilla Destroy All Monsters Melee: Remastered Official Announce Trailer - IGN Live 2026 Can you think of any male protagonists that were scrutinized for their appearance? New Star Trek game starring Ro Laren! Should you play God of War games before Laufey? My opinion. im playing deltarune and i can feel my antisocial era happening lamaoo! this game is so fun! Best (cheapest) laptop for Minecraft? Looking for 2D horror game recommendations Which is better for streaming and gaming, Ryzen 9 9900X or 7 9800X3D? (with the ASUS Prime Radeon RX 9070 XT GPU) I have no idea what I’m doing but the scenery is nice 🙂 A little pink and white 🩷🤍 How has your year been going when it comes to gaming? Did you achieve any goals, discovered a new genre or something else? Did anyone else used to play MovieStarPlanet? Does anyone know sweet, girly games for mobile? I tried to play Stellar Blade. Is that it? I made my dream come true and wrote a game. It's called Fortune Fragments! Who's excited for Persona 4 Revival? (XBOX Game Showcase) A collection of 16 classic Barbie games is coming out on November 16, 2026 Nee Hellblade Game Announced Vivarium - Official Announce Trailer For Pride Month! We have Tomb Raider Yuri by azurajae! "Sorry, boys, I'm taken~" SamLara An Exodus Review by Kala Valheim Has A Release Date ! September 9th ! That was a great Xbox showcase today Magical Girl/Magical Girl esque game recs? Which Resident Evil games to play What are some good Youtube channel recs that deep dive into a game's development or gameplay? Need Sapphic Game Recs (Switch 2) I just learn that 1666 Amsterdam used AI “art” on their promo cover. One less game to be excited about Returned my Elgato Facecam 4K because my iPhone 17 Pro is better 😭 anyone else just using their phone? Cozy games are a blessing in these times Ahhh so many things being announced in such a short time span! Really enjoying Stellar Blade despite the (very well deserved) criticism. Whats a game that you enjoy even though you agree it’s not the best or fully deserves the criticism it gets? I have an extremely long-running Morrowind character 🦎 Either she blocks the view or she blocks my keys. Downloaded emulators just to feel something good female protag games Finally back into gaming after years Castlevania Belmonts Curse! TOE 3 ACCOUNT LOST I dread sprinting and crouching in every game The Steam Summer Sale is coming up: What are your favorite hidden gems that more people should know about? Spirit Crossing playtest Finally played resident evil 9 requiem .. RuneScape got an Avatar Rework, Sharing Some Outfits! LGBT videogames for Pride Month! Timespinner is not a masterpiece, but its been a metroidvania I've come to love. Truly feels impossible to come up with a game tag Dark Witchy Game! YESSS How do I enjoy games I’m no good at? Too many games = I play none of them Can someone help me find this cute pink controller which i saw on amazon but now its out of stock and i really liked it soo much 😪 Good chair recommendations? I didn't like this eyeliner, but I found another use for it Seeking opinions on the game Cyberpunk 2077 Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave Release Date Trailer | Nintendo Direct June 2026 Curious about Xenoblade I'm hyped beyond belief! THIS DIRECT WAS SO GOOD Dragons Dogma 2 DLC! Xenoblade Genesis If i am sharing a switch 2 with my partner - does it still allow you to share physical games? Eyes Up Guardian External Hard Drive Everyones’ thoughts on Class of 09? What are some good gaming earbuds? Psst, how are my JRPG gals doin'? As a Catgirl Enthusiast, Court Queen Erisa Summer Casual is my new main 😻🎾 Anyone else obsessed with her? Rant: Fortune's Weave Character Outfits Replaying Ragnarök and this moment will forever live rent free in my head Has anyone seen the new op in Overwatch? If so thoughts?👀 Help deciding on replacing my portable monitor? Racing games on the PS4? OW2 comp no voice chat? Advice needed!🥹 Just being a noob! How do you choose what to play from your backlog? Old animal sim mobile games ((mostly cheetah)) Please help me find the games! What games are using Gen AI? Does anyone else feel like modern RPG character creators are getting way too restrictive? Is the new fable using gen Ai? Gaming in the same room as my partner do you guys ever feel bad about ‘replacing’ your favorite game? REPO is so awesome, what other games have great communities for women Cual computadora gamer recomiendan ? Nerdy book recommendations! I LOVE ELDEN RING 𐔌՞ ܸ.ˬ.ܸ՞𐦯 I finally hit 100,00 kils in The Strongest Battlegrounds after 3 and half years! Gamer pets Questions for Girl Game Devs! Spider-Man for the PS1 should be given the same amount of respect as Metal Gear or Tomb Raider and I'm not even joking Made with passion versus made out of pure obligation Do miniature war games belong on this sub? Check out my Artillery Witch I painted It makes me a better Spider-Man Do we have any fans of Dark Pictures Anthology here? Gaming laptop suggestion A question about RPGs vs. Visual Novels You are allowed to post about games :-) Meta-Complaining Can we get a megathread for complaining about misogynists/creepy men? Can we stop talking about men? Megathreading Looking for Discord Thursdays Find a Friend Friday - June 05, 2026 Self-Promotion Tuesday - June 09, 2026 What're You Playing Wednesday? Looking for Discord Thursdays That is 196 total topics, of which those made for the explicit purpose of complaining about men in gaming culture and our spaces compromises a total of 20. That makes up barely over 10% of total topics of discussion. So to be honest, I find the notion pretty disgusting that we should megathread-stifle our experiences with men in gaming spaces in a subreddit that is tailored towards being a safe space for discussion among women. If you find the amount of complaining about men on this sub too unbearable, that's probably a you problem. Change the algorithm you use and lurk more. [EDIT] This, as it has been brought to my attention, does of course not include any topics that were deleted by mods for being unfit topics of discussion. This list was tallied between 10-11AM of June 11th, so if there have been plenty of deletions between the start date I tallied and this morning, that goes to show that the mods are both active and well within reason to differentiate topics of actual discussion against "look at this misogyny!" point-farming. submitted by /u/ADameNamedAmy to r/GirlGamers [link] [comments]

Beat the heat and look put-together in minutes with this lightweight two-piece summer set—short-sleeve tee plus breathable shorts for effortless beach, gym, or streetwear comfort. #ADV 📢 Generic Men's 2-Piece Summer Outfit - Casual Summer Beach Tracksuit Sets Gym Suits Short Sleeve T-Shirt + Pants Set Lightweight Sports Outfits Men's Short Round Neck T-Shirts (orig.: Generico Completo Estivo Uomo 2 Pezzi - Tuta Estiva Casual Per Spiaggia Completi Tute Da Ginnastica T Shirt Manica Corta + Pantaloni Set Leggera Completi Sportivi Magliette Uomo Corta Scollo Tondo) #Mens #Generic #2Piece 🛒🔽 https://amzn.to/4fC57nI submitted by /u/AndreaNewsHub to r/ItaliaBox [link] [comments]

Keep cool and look put-together this summer with a lightweight two-piece set that pairs a short-sleeve tee and breathable pants for effortless beach-to-street style. #ADV 📢 Generic Men's 2-Piece Summer Outfit - Casual Summer Beach Tracksuit Sets Gym Suits Short Sleeve T-Shirt + Pants Set Lightweight Sports Outfits Men's Short Round Neck T-Shirts (orig.: Generico Completo Estivo Uomo 2 Pezzi - Tuta Estiva Casual Per Spiaggia Completi Tute Da Ginnastica T Shirt Manica Corta + Pantaloni Set Leggera Completi Sportivi Magliette Uomo Corta Scollo Tondo) #Mens #Generic #2Piece 🛒🔽 https://amzn.to/4fC57nI submitted by /u/AndreaNewsHub to r/ItaliaBox [link] [comments]

At someone's advice in r/AskGayMen, posting here: Take pity and help out a gay mom (ie, mom to a gay son). I know the standard answer is "khakis and a button down." But read on, intrepid reader. Where are young gay guys doing their business casual shopping, first for an interview and then possibly a summer job? The guy in question simply. will. not. wear. slim pants, ie, standard khakis/chinos from places like J Crew or Bonobos. He says I'm allowed to say "he's a twink"--but only ironically--re style. He's super cute (I say objectively) in his wide jeans and slim t-shirts. But that's not going to cut it for an interview for a tech job he really really wants. Oh, and did I mention he has to have this interview outfit by Monday? And he's working a different job tomorrow through Sunday so will have shop after work? Good times. Specific styles/brands much appreciated. Many thanks, men of r/nycgaybros! submitted by /u/F13nd1sh to r/nycgaybros [link] [comments]

Save 24% on the COOFANDY Men’s Casual Button Down Summer Beach Shirt, now $18.98 (was $24.99). Features breathable textured fabric, short sleeves, relaxed fit, and chest pocket styling perfect for vacations, beach trips, casual outfits, and summer fashion. Deal Price: $18.98 Typical Price: $24.99 You Save: $6.01 (24% OFF) Availability: Limited-time Amazon deal 👉 Buy Now on Amazon: COOFANDY Men’s Casual Button Down Summer Beach Shirt Key Features ✅ Lightweight textured summer fabric ✅ Casual button-down beach shirt style ✅ Breathable short sleeve comfort ✅ Functional chest pocket design ✅ Relaxed fit for warm-weather wear ✅ Great for beach trips, vacations, and parties ✅ Easy-to-style casual summer outfit essential ✅ Comfortable daily wear for travel and outdoor events 👉 Buy Now on Amazon: COOFANDY Men’s Casual Button Down Summer Beach Shirt Q1: What is the best affordable men’s summer shirt on Amazon? 👉 The COOFANDY Casual Button Down Shirt offers lightweight breathable comfort and stylish summer fashion for under $20. Q2: Is this shirt suitable for hot weather? 👉 Yes, the breathable textured fabric is designed for comfortable summer wear. Q3: Can this shirt be worn for vacations and beach trips? 👉 Absolutely, it’s ideal for vacations, beach outings, parties, cruises, and casual summer outfits. Q4: Does the shirt include pockets? 👉 Yes, it features a convenient chest pocket for added style and functionality. Q5: Is the COOFANDY shirt easy to match with casual outfits? 👉 Yes, the versatile casual design pairs well with shorts, jeans, and summer pants. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Your support enables us to discover and recommend the highest quality products. Thank you for your support. submitted by /u/ALLPhoneNumber to r/BestOnlineDealsUS [link] [comments]

​ The Hawas line started with one ridiculously successful sweet-fresh fragrance… and then Rasasi kept expanding it into every direction possible. Some flankers actually improve the DNA. Some feel like experiments. And a few honestly feel like “Hawas wearing a different outfit.” One thing almost all of them have in common: strong projection, noticeable sweetness, and attention-seeking performance. Hawas for Him What it smells like: Fruity aquatic + cinnamon + ambergris sweetness Review: The OG beast. This thing basically helped popularize the loud “fresh but sweet” style in the Middle Eastern designer market. The opening is fruity, aquatic, spicy, and VERY synthetic. But in the air? It works ridiculously well. People around you usually smell “fresh sexy perfume” rather than the harshness you notice up close. Modern noses may find it a bit dated now because so many brands copied this DNA afterwards. Still performs like a monster though. Compliment machine. Hawas for Her What it smells like: Fruity florals + creamy musk + soft sweetness Review: Very easy-going feminine scent. Fresh fruits, soft florals, musky sweetness… nothing difficult or challenging here. Feels youthful, clean, and attractive in a very mainstream way. The kind of fragrance that almost nobody will hate. Not niche-smelling. Not artistic. Just pleasant and wearable. Hawas Ice What it smells like: Frosted apple + citrus + aquatic sweetness Review: This is what happens when Rasasi takes OG Hawas and cleans it up. Still loud. Still sweet. But smoother, fresher, and more modern. The fruity sweetness feels colder and less syrupy. There’s a sharp icy freshness running through the scent that makes it easier to wear in heat. A lot of people genuinely prefer this over the original now. It keeps the addictive Hawas DNA while feeling more refined and less “bubblegum loud.” Probably the safest blind buy in the whole men’s lineup. Hawas Fire What it smells like: Spicy sweetness + smoky amber + warm woods Review: This one feels aggressive. The opening is sharp, spicy, slightly alcoholic, and honestly a little chaotic. But the drydown becomes MUCH better. Warm amber, sweetness, slight smokiness… it starts feeling darker and more addictive. Definitely not smooth luxury perfumery. More like raw energy in fragrance form. Some people will love the intensity. Others will think it’s too loud and synthetic. Hawas Elixir What it smells like: Thick vanilla amber + sweet tonka + dark gourmand warmth Review: This is Hawas after eating an entire dessert buffet. Dense, rich, sweet, warm, and HEAVY. Performance is insane, but balance can feel questionable. A few sprays too many and it becomes suffocating. The sweetness leans almost chocolatey at times. Very clubbing/night-out energy. Not versatile at all. Cool weather only, honestly. Hawas Kobra What it smells like: Citrus + ginger + tea + musky woods Review: Easily one of the most hyped Hawas flankers recently. And yeah… this is VERY close to the Louis Vuitton Imagination style DNA. Bright citrus, spicy ginger, clean tea note, smooth musk underneath. Smells expensive in the air. But reactions are EXTREMELY divided. Some people think it smells luxurious and addictive. Others think it smells like premium soap, lemon cleaner, or hand wash. Performance is absolutely nuclear for a fresh scent though. Probably one of the strongest fresh fragrances Rasasi has made. Honestly one of the best modern releases in the lineup if you enjoy the Imagination DNA. Hawas Malibu What it smells like: Pineapple citrus + creamy tropical woods Review: Beach resort fragrance. Bright tropical sweetness with creamy undertones that make it feel relaxed and vacation-like. The pineapple note gives it a cheerful energy without becoming childish. Very easy to wear casually. Performance is weaker than most Hawas releases though. Starts strong, fades quicker than expected. Still one of the most fun summer flankers in the line. Hawas Tropical What it smells like: Coconut + creamy fruits + tropical sweetness Review: This one goes FULL vacation mode. Creamy coconut, fruity sweetness, suntan lotion vibes… there’s nothing subtle about it. Some people will absolutely love the tropical creamy style. Others will think it smells like expensive flavored sunscreen. Not very versatile, but definitely has personality. Feels more playful than classy. Hawas Verde What it smells like: Mint + citrus + green herbal freshness Review: Probably the freshest Hawas. Very green, cooling, energetic kind of scent. Feels like crushed mint leaves mixed into sparkling lemonade. Less sweet than most flankers which honestly helps a lot. Doesn’t smell super luxurious, but smells extremely refreshing. Amazing hot-weather type fragrance. Hawas Viper What it smells like: Dark spices + woody musk + masculine sweetness Review: This one tries hard to feel dangerous. Dark spicy sweetness with a rough masculine edge. Less smooth than Black or Ice. More aggressive and edgy. Honestly feels like a nightclub fragrance made for confidence rather than elegance. Not very versatile, but definitely stronger in personality than some safer flankers. Hawas London What it smells like: Fresh spicy woods + aromatic sweetness Review: Very designer-style fragrance. Clean, modern, versatile… but also kinda familiar. Feels like Rasasi blended multiple popular designer DNAs together into one safe crowd-pleaser. Nothing offensive. Nothing groundbreaking. Easy daily wear. Probably one of the most office-safe flankers. Hawas Atlantis What it smells like: Marine freshness + salty musk + watery woods Review: This one pushes the aquatic side hard. Fresh, watery, salty, clean. Honestly smells more like luxury shower gel than an actual complex fragrance. Very linear too. But in brutal summer heat? It works. Feels sporty and refreshing rather than artistic. Hawas Black What it smells like: Pineapple + grapefruit + oakmoss + smoky woods Review: Probably the most respected Hawas among fragrance enthusiasts. This is VERY clearly inspired by Nishane Hacivat / Aventus-style DNA. Bright pineapple and citrus in the opening, then heavy oakmoss and woods take over. It smells darker, greener, harsher, and more aggressive than the original Hawas. And yeah… the opening can be REALLY sharp. Some people absolutely love the rugged masculine energy. Others think it smells harsh and earthy. But performance? Beast mode. This stuff projects hard, lasts forever, and smells extremely powerful in the air. Definitely not a safe blind buy though. Hawas Pink What it smells like: Sugary fruits + airy florals + soft musk Review: Bright, playful, sweet, feminine. Very social-media-friendly type fragrance. Feels youthful and easy to compliment. Not much complexity here — mostly just pretty fruity sweetness all the way through. Very easy to wear casually. Hawas Diva What it smells like: Creamy white florals + vanilla musk Review: More mature and elegant than Pink. Smoother floral blending, creamier vanilla, softer overall feel. Still mass appealing, but less playful and sugary. Feels more polished and dressed-up. Very feminine without becoming overly loud. Hawas Eclat What it smells like: Citrus florals + clean musk + soft woods Review: Clean-girl aesthetic in perfume form. Fresh, airy, musky, and slightly elegant. Not very sweet. More “luxury shampoo and skincare” vibes. Very office-safe and daytime-friendly. Some people may find it too soft or generic, but it smells clean and polished. Final honest takeaway The Hawas line is basically Rasasi experimenting with different ways to make loud, mass-appealing fragrances. Some flankers genuinely evolved beyond the original. Others feel repetitive. But when Rasasi gets it right… they REALLY get it right. * Worth trying: Hawas Ice, Hawas Black, Hawas Kobra, Hawas Malibu * Best performer: Hawas Black * Best modern freshie: Hawas Kobra, Verde * Most mass appealing: Hawas Ice * Most unique: Fire, Verde * Safe but basic: London, Atlantis, Hawas for Her * For specific taste: Tropical, Viper, Black * Most overrated nowadays: OG Hawas for Him submitted by /u/Ok_Background_8973 to r/DesiFragranceAddicts [link] [comments]

Here’s the thing, looking good isn’t just about wearing trendy clothes or spending big bucks. It’s about understanding what works for you and paying attention to the little details. Summer is THE season to shine, but so many guys mess it up with either overstyled or completely clueless looks. This post is researched from top stylists, YouTube experts like Teaching Men’s Fashion, books like The Appearance Gap, and even psychology-backed studies. No fluff, no TikTok gimmicks, just actionable advice that won’t leave you sweating. 1. Fit is king. Always. Forget the oversized trend unless you’re intentionally styling streetwear. Tailored clothing always makes you look more put together. Slim-fit shorts that hit just above the knee and a well-fitted T-shirt can do wonders. A study published in Evolution and Human Behavior shows fit and proportion are more appealing than the clothing’s actual price or brand. So, get that shirt tailored or size down if needed. 2. Stick to clean, breathable basics. Summer heat and sweat demand functional fabrics. Opt for cotton, linen, or blends that allow your skin to breathe. Neutrals like white, beige, navy, and olive are versatile but don’t shy away from a soft pastel if it complements your tone (light blue and pink are underrated). A plain white T-shirt paired with chinos is a cheat code. Style expert Aaron Marino (Alpha M) emphasizes keeping it simple less flashy logos, more timeless vibes. 3. Shoes can make or break you. Ditch the chunky dad sneakers. Go for crisp white sneakers, loafers, or espadrilles perfect for summer casual looks. A 2021 study by the University of Kansas found people judge your personality and status heavily based on your shoes. Keep them clean and make sure they match the formality of your outfit. 4. Accessories aren’t just for women. Sunglasses are both practical and stylish. Aviators and wayfarers are timeless, but square frames can make a bold statement. Add a leather strap watch or a simple chain for subtle polish. Keep it minimal, though think sleek, not extra. 5. Grooming goes beyond shaving. Summer means sweat. A clean haircut, trimmed beard (or clean-shaven), and a solid skincare routine are non-negotiables. Use a lightweight moisturizer with SPF, and invest in a deodorant that doesn’t just mask odor but prevents it. A survey from Dove Men+Care found 76% of people associate grooming with attractiveness. 6. Roll up your sleeves (literally). Rolling up the sleeves of a shirt or T-shirt not only makes you look effortlessly cool but can accentuate your forearms an area that subconsciously signals strength and masculinity, according to research in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology. 7. Less is more with layering. Yes, summer still allows for layering just make sure it’s light. Think an unbuttoned linen shirt over a tank or a lightweight bomber if it’s cooler in the evenings. Skip the heavy denim jacket or thick hoodies. 8. Smell matters more than you think. The right summer cologne can elevate your appeal. Choose fresh, citrusy, or aquatic scents (e.g., Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue). Science backs this fragrance strongly influences first impressions and memory, per a study by the Sense of Smell Institute. 9. Nail your shorts game. Board shorts are for the beach, not brunch. Opt for tailored shorts that sit mid-thigh or slightly above the knee (7-9 inch inseams, ideally). Pair them with a polo or short-sleeved button-up for a polished yet casual look. 10. Confidence is your best accessory. You can wear the most expensive clothes, but nothing beats feeling comfortable in your own skin. Confidence doesn’t mean arrogance it’s in your posture, eye contact, and how you carry yourself. Sean Ogle’s productivity blog highlights that when you look good, you feel good, which naturally boosts how you present yourself in social settings. Summer is the perfect opportunity to revamp and refine your wardrobe while staying comfortable. Remember, less is more, and the devil's in the details. Feel free to share your go-to summer essentials or ask for advice this space is all about leveling up together. submitted by /u/sstranger_dustin to r/Strongerman [link] [comments]

I think I finally snapped today. I matched with a guy on Bumble. Normal conversation. Respectful. Nothing sexual. He asked to move to Snapchat, I agreed. I genuinely thought, okay, this one might be normal. Then out of nowhere he sends me an unsolicited dick pic. No warning. No consent. Just instant sexualization. That moment summed up every dating app experience I've had, and I'm done pretending this is just "bad luck." There is a serious social problem here, not even in a funny way. For context: I already had a bad image of dating apps, but I don't really have alternatives, and tried to be open minded and try it out. I'm a student in Canada, I don't have a big social circle here, and I'm mostly home. It's winter everyone stays inside. I also go back home to visit my family whenever I can, so I'm rarely around long enough to build some active social life. I have tried meeting men in real life parties, being out in the summer and honestly? Same pattern. Bad hygiene, lack of respect, overly sexual behavior, or straight-up immaturity. It's no different from the apps. I've tried Bumble. I've tried Hinge. They all suck. Most of my likes are from men who are not just unattractive to me, but clearly do not take care of themselves. Bad grooming, sloppy photos, zero effort. And I'm sorry, but that's disrespectful. If you're on a dating app trying to meet someone, even casually, showing up unpolished is the bare minimum. I take care of myself. Hair done. Clean face. Nice outfits. Good pictures. Not because I'm vain ,because it's basic respect. Why is that expectation apparently outrageous when it comes to men? Here's the pattern I keep seeing: • Men who are attractive don't want anything serious. • Men who want something serious are men who are mid and seem to not have much options so they obsess over you(still sexualizes) •The most mediocre men somehow have the most audacity and entitlement. In general I feel like most of them just put O effort in convos, plans and seriousness altogether. Mind you these are 22-30 years old men. One guy literally told me I should skip my university classes to go on a date with him. Another thought sending explicit pictures to a stranger was acceptable behavior. This is the bar? I'm 20, and I'm honestly flabbergasted by how horrible it is. So I'm asking women who are older or more experienced than me, and please be brutally honest: Is it actually possible to find a man who is attractive, clean, respectful, emotionally normal, I, and serious? Or are women just expected to: • settle for someone they're not attracted to, • "fix" a man, teach him hygiene and basic decency, • or pick the least awful option and adapt? Should | just delete the apps altogether and buy a cute puppy? submitted by /u/Delicious-Gate-8192 to r/TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]

Our company switched to "summer casual" dress code in June, which supposedly includes demin shorts. I wore nice denim shorts with a professional top the following week, and my manager asked me to change into pants. When I pointed to the dress code policy, she said shorts were "technically allowed but not encouraged." What bothers me is the lack of clarity. Either shorts are acceptable or they're not. This vague "technically allowed but" situation creates confusion where people get judged for following written policies. Meanwhile, my male colleague wore cargo shorts yesterday without any comments. I've been documenting instances where dress code enforcement seems gendered or inconsistent. Women get comments about professionalism for outfits that would be ignored on men. The double standards are frustrating and exhausting. Several coworkers have mentioned similar experiences being told their clothing is "technically fine but" not quite appropriate. It creates an environment where you're never sure if you'll be criticized for your clothing choices, even when following stated guidelines. I've considered bringing this up with HR, but I'm worried about being labeled as difficult or making problems where none exist, according to management. I've even thought about buying more conservative options from Alibaba and many more olnline stores just to avoid future conflicts, which feels like giving in to unclear expectations. How do you handle ambiguous workplace policies that allow subjective enforcement? Is it worth fighting, or should you just conform to unwritten rules? submitted by /u/DukeRioba to r/workingmoms [link] [comments]

Introduction: Where Comfort Meets Confidence The phrase “business casual” has become one of the most versatile and misunderstood terms in modern menswear. It represents the fine art of balancing professionalism with comfort — dressing sharp enough for the office, yet relaxed enough for a client coffee or after-work meet-up. At La Mode Men’s, we believe that mastering business casual isn’t just about following a dress code; it’s about expressing your confidence, competence, and individuality through thoughtful style. In this guide, we redefine what business casual truly means for the contemporary gentleman. From foundational wardrobe essentials to smart seasonal styling, we’ll explore how to create a refined yet effortless look that stands out — whether you’re in the boardroom, coworking lounge, or a weekend brunch meeting. Understanding Business Casual: A Contemporary Perspective The term business casual originated in the late 20th century as workplaces began to move away from rigid formalwear. Gone were the days when every man was expected to wear a full suit and tie from nine to five. The modern workplace calls for flexibility — attire that communicates respect and professionalism while accommodating creativity and comfort. Business casual is not about dressing down; it’s about dressing right. It sits in the sweet spot between formal suits and casual weekend wear. Think of it as a relaxed form of professional dressing — less structured but still intentional. The goal is to look approachable, confident, and capable without appearing overdressed or underprepared. At La Mode Men’s, we interpret business casual as refined functionality — polished pieces that can transition from meetings to social hours seamlessly. Our mission is to help men feel their best while projecting competence, creativity, and modern elegance. Building the Business Casual Wardrobe: The Essential Pieces Every great wardrobe starts with well-chosen basics that mix and match effortlessly. When curating a business casual rotation, focus on timeless pieces that offer both comfort and sophistication. 1. The Perfect Shirts Button-down dress shirts remain the backbone of business casual. Start with crisp white and light blue shirts — two shades that complement almost every outfit. For variety, add subtle patterns such as checks, stripes, or micro-prints to showcase your personality. For a softer, laid-back edge, include polo shirts and knit collared tops. They bring versatility to your wardrobe while maintaining a neat, structured silhouette. La Mode Men’s recommends choosing shirts in breathable cotton, cotton-blend, or linen fabrics for year-round wear. Pair them with a solid or patterned tie from our [La Mode Men’s Tie Collection]() for a touch of personality that sets you apart. 2. Smart Trousers and Chinos Chinos are the cornerstone of modern business casual. They strike the perfect balance between relaxed and refined — ideal for both office days and evening outings. Choose neutral tones such as navy, beige, gray, or olive for maximum versatility. Tailored trousers in lightweight wool or cotton-stretch blends elevate your look when paired with button-downs and blazers. For creative workplaces, dark-wash jeans (without distressing) can also fit within the business casual spectrum when styled thoughtfully. A well-fitted pair of pants communicates precision and care — two hallmarks of the La Mode Men’s aesthetic. 3. The Business Casual Blazer If there’s one item that instantly transforms your outfit, it’s the unstructured blazer. Opt for lightweight fabrics like cotton twill, linen, or wool blends. A navy or charcoal blazer complements nearly any combination of trousers and shirts. Blazers are not only for meetings; they’re your ticket to instant polish. Throw one over a polo for a smart-casual lunch or over a button-down for a formal client pitch. Remember, the key lies in fit — the blazer should contour your shoulders without restriction, with sleeves that allow just a hint of shirt cuff to show. 4. Shoes that Seal the Look Your footwear tells a story. While sneakers dominate casual wardrobes, business casual leans toward loafers, brogues, oxfords, and derbies. For a more contemporary spin, minimalist leather sneakers can also work — provided they’re impeccably clean and sleek. Brown and tan tones are ideal complements to navy and gray outfits, while black shoes maintain timeless appeal. Complete the look with a coordinated leather belt and watch for an elevated finishing touch. 5. Accessories that Speak Elegance Accessories bring personality and depth to business casual outfits. A silk tie in a subtle solid or pattern from La Mode Men’s instantly sharpens your ensemble. Add a pocket square for flair or a wristwatch for understated authority. Cufflinks, tie bars, and lapel pins can be introduced sparingly to enhance sophistication — not overwhelm it. The goal is harmony: accessories should complement, not compete with, your outfit. Shirts and Tops: From Casual to Commanding The right shirt does more than cover your torso — it defines your presence. In business casual styling, shirts bridge the formality gap between professional dress codes and personal expression. Start with a foundation of solid hues such as white, light blue, and soft gray. These colors convey clarity, dependability, and confidence — traits that every professional wants to project. Once your essentials are in place, experiment with patterns and textures. Subtle checks, pinstripes, and micro-dots can convey creativity without appearing loud. For creative or tech-forward environments, polo shirts and merino-wool pullovers layered over collared shirts can create depth and warmth. The trick is to maintain neatness — always ensure your shirt is tucked, sleeves are properly buttoned, and collars are crisp. La Mode Men’s Tip: Pair a patterned tie with a solid shirt or vice versa to maintain visual balance. Visit our [Pattern Tie Collection]() to explore bold yet professional designs that transform any business casual look into a statement of taste. Bottoms and Beyond: Perfecting the Lower Half Your trousers anchor your outfit’s personality. In the business casual realm, fit, fabric, and finish make all the difference. Chinos: The most adaptable piece in your wardrobe. Pair beige chinos with navy blazers or olive chinos with cream shirts for relaxed sophistication. Dress trousers: Ideal for presentations or semi-formal events. Choose tailored cuts that complement your physique without being overly tight. Dark jeans: Reserved for offices with relaxed dress codes, dark jeans offer a modern edge when paired with structured blazers or dress shirts. To complete your look, select quality leather accessories — a belt that matches your shoes, a refined wristwatch, and if appropriate, a leather briefcase or messenger bag. Business casual style succeeds when every detail works in harmony — trousers, shirts, shoes, and accessories blending into one cohesive statement. Seasonal Adaptations: Dressing Smart All Year Round A truly sophisticated man knows how to adapt his wardrobe to the changing seasons without losing his style identity. Spring & Summer Opt for lightweight fabrics such as linen, cotton, or seersucker. Soft color palettes — sky blue, sand, white, and light gray — exude freshness. Loafers and unlined blazers help you stay cool while maintaining structure. Autumn Introduce richer tones like burgundy, forest green, and navy. Layer shirts with lightweight sweaters or cardigans. Textured fabrics such as tweed or brushed cotton add depth and warmth. Winter Business casual in winter is all about layering with intention. Start with a dress shirt, add a fine-knit sweater or vest, and top with a wool blazer or overcoat. Keep your palette deep and sophisticated — charcoal, black, and midnight blue are timeless winter choices. Pro Tip from La Mode Men’s: Always ensure your outerwear complements your outfit beneath. A mismatched overcoat can disrupt even the most polished ensemble. From Desk to Dinner: The Art of Transition One of the biggest advantages of business casual style is its flexibility. With the right layering, you can easily transition from daytime meetings to evening events without a full wardrobe change. Swap your formal dress shoes for loafers. Lose the tie and unbutton your collar for a relaxed dinner look. Keep a versatile blazer handy to elevate your outfit instantly. La Mode Men’s business casual philosophy celebrates this versatility — enabling you to move through your day confidently, knowing your outfit adapts as smoothly as your schedule. Color Coordination: The Silent Language of Style Colors play a subtle but powerful role in how you’re perceived. In the world of business casual, balance is key. Neutrals (white, navy, gray, beige) form your foundation. Accent colors (burgundy, olive, cobalt, sand) add personality. Contrasts (light shirt + dark trousers or vice versa) keep the outfit dynamic. When in doubt, let your tie or pocket square be the focal point. A La Mode Men’s tie in deep sapphire blue or sleek charcoal can elevate even the simplest shirt. Remember — understated coordination communicates confidence; over-matching suggests over-compensation. The Psychology of Business Casual Dressing well isn’t vanity — it’s strategy. Studies consistently show that attire affects self-perception, confidence, and even performance. When you look good, you feel in control. Business casual empowers men to present themselves as approachable leaders: relaxed yet authoritative, stylish yet grounded. At La Mode Men’s, every shirt, tie, and blazer is designed to embody that balance — giving you the psychological edge to command presence in every room you enter. Conclusion: Redefining Modern Professional Style Business casual is more than a dress code — it’s a mindset. It’s about embracing modern professionalism with comfort, flexibility, and confidence. La Mode Men’s reimagines the business casual wardrobe for today’s dynamic man. Whether you’re attending a team meeting, leading a client pitch, or enjoying post-work cocktails, our curated pieces help you look effortlessly refined. From the perfect solid or patterned tie to the sharp cut of a tailored shirt, each La Mode Men’s piece tells a story of precision, taste, and confidence. Step into sartorial success with La Mode Men’s, where every outfit becomes an opportunity to express who you are — polished, poised, and always prepared. Explore our full collections today at [La Mode Men’s Clothing]() and redefine what business casual means for the modern gentleman. submitted by /u/lamodemens to r/LaModeMens [link] [comments]

Introduction In today’s ever-evolving professional world, the term business casual has become more than just a dress code—it’s a lifestyle. It bridges the gap between corporate formality and modern comfort, allowing men to express confidence, sophistication, and individuality without feeling constrained by rigid office attire. At La Mode Men’s, we understand that mastering business casual is both an art and a science. This comprehensive style guide explores the nuances of business casual dressing for men, from essential wardrobe staples to fabric choices, seasonal transitions, and modern styling tips. Whether you’re walking into a client meeting, attending a networking event, or working in a hybrid office, La Mode Men’s helps you define your signature style with ease, confidence, and sartorial precision. Understanding Business Casual: A Contemporary Definition What Does Business Casual Really Mean? The concept of business casual has evolved significantly over the past few decades. Traditionally, the workplace demanded full suits, ties, and polished dress shoes. However, today’s professionals value flexibility, comfort, and personal expression just as much as professionalism. Business casual represents this modern evolution—it’s the perfect balance between sharpness and ease. Think of it as polished, yet relaxed. You’re not in jeans and a t-shirt, but you’re also not in a three-piece suit. It’s the midpoint where comfort meets class. Why Business Casual Works Today The rise of creative industries, remote work, and tech-driven workplaces has reshaped what professionalism looks like. Business casual outfits allow men to remain adaptable—ready for a boardroom presentation or a casual dinner with colleagues. It communicates a confident, approachable, and forward-thinking attitude—values that resonate deeply in today’s professional landscape. At La Mode Men’s, business casual isn’t about dressing down—it’s about dressing smart. It’s the thoughtful combination of fit, fabric, and function. Essential Pieces for Men: Building the Business Casual Wardrobe Creating a business casual wardrobe is about curating timeless essentials that can be mixed, matched, and layered to suit different occasions. Every man should have a set of reliable, versatile pieces that transition effortlessly between business and leisure. 1. Dress Shirts and Button-Downs At the core of any business casual look lies the dress shirt. A well-fitted button-down instantly adds structure and refinement. Classic whites, light blues, and subtle patterns are your foundation. For more personality, consider muted stripes or checks. La Mode Men’s offers a collection of premium button-down dress shirts designed for versatility—crafted from breathable cotton blends that ensure comfort from morning meetings to evening events. 2. Polo Shirts and Knit Tops For days when you want a slightly more relaxed look without compromising professionalism, polo shirts or fine knit tops are ideal. A solid-colored polo under a blazer can deliver an effortlessly sharp ensemble. Opt for neutral tones or soft hues that complement your complexion. 3. Chinos and Tailored Trousers Business casual is incomplete without chinos—the ultimate balance between comfort and style. Tailored trousers in beige, navy, charcoal, or olive serve as foundational pieces that pair well with virtually any top. La Mode Men’s recommends slim or straight fits for a clean silhouette that complements your body shape. 4. Blazers and Sport Coats The unstructured blazer is the hallmark of refined business casual dressing. Unlike traditional suits, unlined or lightly structured blazers offer movement and ease. Choose classic colors like navy, gray, or taupe to maintain versatility across your wardrobe. 5. Footwear Essentials Footwear ties your entire look together. Opt for loafers, derbies, or minimalist leather sneakers for a modern touch. Brown, tan, and oxblood tones pair well with most business casual combinations. Remember: polished shoes reflect attention to detail—something every professional should prioritize. Shirts and Tops: Elevating Casual to Professional Your choice of shirt defines your outfit’s tone. It’s where casual comfort meets professional sophistication. Collared Shirts Collared shirts—whether button-downs or spread collars—set a confident tone. Tuck them into chinos or tailored pants for a clean look. Experiment with patterns like gingham or houndstooth to add visual interest, but always balance bold prints with neutral bottoms. Polos and Henleys A polo shirt is the unsung hero of business casual fashion. It offers structure through its collar while keeping you cool and comfortable. Pair it with chinos or lightweight trousers for an effortless yet refined outfit. Henleys, when layered under a blazer or paired with a fine-knit cardigan, offer a modern twist on traditional business casual attire. Styling Tips for a Polished Appearance Always tuck in your shirt unless the design clearly calls for a casual untucked look. Iron or steam your shirts—crispness conveys professionalism. Layer thoughtfully—add a lightweight blazer or cardigan for meetings. Complement with minimalist accessories like a wristwatch or subtle pocket square. At La Mode Men’s, every shirt is designed to elevate your confidence and comfort—because style starts with the right foundation. Bottoms and Beyond: Crafting a Cohesive Look Your lower half should balance both comfort and polish. The key lies in fit and coordination. Chinos and Khakis Chinos and khakis are staples of men’s business casual attire. Their soft cotton-twill fabric makes them perfect for all-day wear, and they’re easy to pair with shirts, polos, or blazers. Neutral tones like stone, sand, and navy offer maximum versatility. Dark Denim Done Right When office environments permit, dark denim can be a great alternative. Choose jeans with minimal fading and a tailored fit. Pair them with a crisp button-down and blazer for a confident yet relaxed statement. Finishing Touches: Accessories Matter Accessories complete the look and show intentionality. Belts: Match your belt color with your shoes for a cohesive finish. Watches: A leather-strap watch exudes timeless class. Pocket Squares or Ties: While not mandatory, they can instantly elevate your outfit. Socks: Subtle patterns or solid colors that complement your outfit keep the look cohesive. Remember, accessories should enhance, not overpower, your ensemble. Subtlety is the mark of a confident dresser. Seasonal Adaptations: Business Casual All Year Round True style adapts with the seasons. The modern man needs a wardrobe that keeps him comfortable without compromising elegance—365 days a year. Spring and Summer: Lightweight and Breathable As temperatures rise, choose lightweight fabrics like cotton, linen, or performance blends. Lighter colors—beige, sky blue, white, and light gray—reflect sunlight and add a fresh vibe. Short-sleeved shirts, breathable polos, and unlined blazers keep you looking sharp and cool. Fall and Winter: Layered and Textured When the air gets crisp, layering becomes key. Incorporate merino wool sweaters, flannel shirts, and structured wool blazers. Earth tones such as brown, navy, and charcoal dominate the colder seasons. Finish your look with leather boots and a well-tailored overcoat for undeniable sophistication. Day-to-Night Transitions La Mode Men’s encourages versatility—choose outfits that easily transition from office hours to evening gatherings. A quick change of shoes or swapping a blazer for a casual jacket can transform your appearance without starting over. The La Mode Men’s Approach: Where Style Meets Purpose At La Mode Men’s, we redefine what it means to dress for success. Our designs prioritize craftsmanship, fit, and timeless appeal—because true confidence comes from feeling as good as you look. We understand that modern men need clothing that adapts to their busy, versatile lives. That’s why every piece in our collection—from crisp button-downs to tailored trousers—is designed to bridge comfort with class, empowering you to face any occasion with style. Our business casual pieces are not just clothes; they’re investments in your image, professionalism, and personal brand. Conclusion: Redefine Business Casual with Confidence In the evolving landscape of modern professionalism, business casual is more than a dress code—it’s an expression of self-assurance and sophistication. With La Mode Men’s, mastering this balance has never been easier. By understanding the principles of fit, fabric, and coordination, you can craft looks that reflect confidence, elegance, and approachability. Whether you’re leading a team, presenting to clients, or working remotely, your attire sets the tone for how you’re perceived. Step confidently into the world of La Mode Men’s, where every detail—from shirt collar to cufflink—tells a story of refined taste and modern success. Because in the end, business casual isn’t about what you wear—it’s about how you wear it. And with La Mode Men’s, you wear it exceptionally well. submitted by /u/lamodemens to r/LaModeMens [link] [comments]

I’m looking for a jacket that I can use as a layering piece for my office wear outfits for the warmer months. I typically wear chinos, wool trousers, OCBD, loafers, in colder months I will layer with a sweater but am also looking to expand my jacket rotation. Blazers would look quite formal in my office typically people wear athletic polos and chinos jeans are forbidden. I have looked at a lot of chore coats and most feel like they would code as too casual while most blazers would be too formal. These has left me looking at unstructured/workwear blazers but they feel unpolished and much more rustic than my style, I would describe my style is Ivy/Preppy but quite polished. The jackets that keep coming up are more workwear leaning blazers, I feel like they don’t look polished enough to work in an office. In contrast chore jackets feel like they would be too casual for an office setting. What do you normally wear for layering in the summer? submitted by /u/computer_addiction to r/malefashionadvice [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Princessprotect posting in r/AITAH Concluded as per OOP 1 update - Medium Original - 17th October 2024 Update - 4th July 2025 AITAH, for calling out my husband for changing up the rules in our open marriage? I (35f) am in an open relationship with my husband (36m). It was over the summer he mentioned it to me. I wouldn't say I was totally for it but it took some getting used to. Now everything is going great but recently my husband keeps changing the rules. Once I started dating Evan (45m) that's when he started acting differently. My husband and I agreed on a dont ask don't tell policy but,keeps pestering me about the details of our relationship. I give him a little here and there but never the explicit stuff. Everything positive I mention about Evan he downplays or critiques. Last week, I planned a date with Evan and asked him to watch the kids. He agreed. He was to get back home by 9 but texted me to say he's doing overtime that night. I was left scrambling for a sitter at the last minute. This isn't the first time he has done this. Luckily this time I got a hold of a sitter but I could not stay as long as I was hoping for. Afterward, he acted as if everything was okay. He began policing me when I left the house and began picking my outfits apart. Expressing concern about how the neighbors would perceive me. To avoid conflict, I started wearing jackets to cover up before heading out. Then came the issue of Evan dropping me off. He worried about the neighbors seeing a strange car pull up at night. This forced me to do lunch dates. It wasn't a bother. I would bring my laptop to Evan's and work at his place.However,I preferred the dinner dates because I got a chance to dress up more. Changing up the times seemed to alleviate some tension but I still feel like I was compromising too much. He didn't even want me to drive to the dates but when Evan pays for an Uber or drops me off it's an issue. It makes no sense. The breaking point was when Evan sent flowers to the house. My husband lost it claiming it's dangerous for a strange man to know our address when we have kids inside. I will say he was right about this. I did drop the ball however, he insisted that I shouldn't bring home any gifts at all going forward, arguing it violated our don't ask don't tell rule. He used to joke about me not getting chivalry in my open relationship and now that I'm getting dates it's a big deal? I asked him if he doesn't take the women he sleeps with on dates and he said no it's strictly sex and none of that "lovey dovey bullsh**" that I'm doing. I confronted my husband about these rules and he just brushed it off like it was nothing. Saying "it's just a respect thing" I was really enjoying this but he's sucking the fun out of it and it just feels highly stressful. Comments myweechikin Your husband wanted to have a wife and to still sleep with whomever he liked. He didn't want that for you. Come on now, surely you realise that? clackagaling to me, it seems like husband wanted NSA sex with people other than his wife without any of the emotions that come with either an additional girlfriend or hurting his wife. however, wife found someone who also respects and appreciates her, and isnt using her like a hole like how husband is doing his part of the open relationship. so i think this is extra incensing for him, he’s emotionally removing himself just to get extra pussy, she found someone who will put up with the weird rules and treat her well. it’s not just the sex, it’s that she’s getting treated well. myweechikin Yeah, not everyone can enjoy sex with random, one night strangers. Clearly that's not her bag, and he should have known that. Or maybe he did and that's why he thought it would all fall into place nicely for him. Maybe he thought he could have it all while she was at home not sleeping with anyone else Dapper-danimal NTA. Question: Does your husband actually hook up with other women? Reading between the lines I wouldn’t be surprised if things weren’t working out for him. If this is going to work, you can’t just agree to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and call it a day. Rules have to be in place. If he only wants sexual relationships outside of the marriage, without emotional intimacy, that’s a fine rule IF you agree to it. It’s also fine to change the rules after they’ve been established, but that should be based on a conversation where everyone is on the same page. He shouldn’t be able to change or establish the rules on his own and get mad that you haven’t been following them. OOP: I think he does he dresses up on the weekend to go out and comes in late. We both agreed to Emotional intimacy/ ONS/ casual. It’s just the nitpicking that’s too much. I don’t mind having a discussion but when I’m met with “it’s not that serious” that’s when I get pissed. Corpuscular_Ocelot You need to see this for what it is. He opened the marriage w/o understanding that it meant you would be going "on dates" too. He never wanted the rules to be fair, so starting from that premise is only going to get him subverting any discussions. He just thought a out all the fun he would be having. Now he is treating you like shit because he can't stand that what is good for the gander is good for the goose. You need to bottom line it for him: Open marriages are not easy to maintain. Most couples can't handle it. The only way to handle it is to set clear rules and follow them. One thing I will say is that your partner needs to be your primary, so if both of you are putting all your efforts into getting laid outside of the relationship, you will trash the marriage. You need regular date nights and check-ins, etc. It also takes a lot of trust and respect for your partner. In other words, you need to put work into your marriage to make it work, open or closed. There is plenty of literature out there on how to make this work if you really want it to, but it is work. Opening a marriage isn't a "quick release valve" to save a marrige for people who aren't good and communicating and take their spouse for granted. **Judgement - NTA*\* Update - 9 months later You guys were right, this was a shit show. I'm not sure where to start but we are getting a divorce.He infact did not change and became way more possessive and controlling while changing the rules. Everything I did was either wrong or inconsiderate. Evan had planned a weekend trip to Cabo to celebrate a new business venture. I asked my husband if he was okay with it weeks in advance. He enthusiastically agreed mentioning I deserved the trip he even told me to make sure I "flood his phone" with pics. I told him I was going to stay with Evan the night before for easier commute, he insisted on taking me to the airport instead. Since it was our last night until Tuesday. However, when it was time to leave he overslept! Despite urging him to get up to the point that I pulled the covers off and turned off the air he spent an entire HOUR in the bathroom. Then to make matters worse he didn't fill the tank!! I told him the evening before. I called an uber which was another hour late but luckily I got to enjoy my trip. I let it slide and moved on. Boy oh boy I wish I never went on that trip because things got worse. It's like I was being punished for the trip. He became incredibly invasive in my personal relationships. He wanted to know what my sex life with Evan was like. If he was better etc. he used to play it off like it was not a big deal to him then I caught him snooping through my phone. It was too much. I didn't understand because Evan was no longer the only man I was seeing but Evan triggered him the most. If that wasn’t enough he had his friends over for boys night, I was getting ready for girls night. Before I left he said out loud “ You’re really gonna leave me to go fuck him” in front of his friends! The embarrassment and humiliation I felt, even typing this. I just sat in my car and cried so much and that’s when I knew it was done. He apologized mentioned he was drunk. I don’t buy it one bit. He has never acted like this. This open relationship has left me drained mentally and emotionally and it wasn’t even my idea to begin with. I have filed for divorce but he keeps begging for reconciliation but I can’t. Before anyone comments I know you told me so. Sigh. Comments AcanthisittaBoth8524 he didn't want an open marriage, he wanted your permission to sleep with others while you were not allowed the same. NTA then or now Enjoy yourself Christinemfm_84 This nta, op if he ever says anything in front of people again call him out and say he was the one who wanted to open the relationship. Your husband wanted to sleep around and didn’t realize you’d be having fun too. AcanthisittaBoth8524 I also wonder if it's not working out for him as much as he hoped it would Christinemfm_84 Yeah he probably slept with whoever he wanted to sleep with and it wasn’t as great as he thought and he isn’t getting as many girls as he thought he would. Boo-Boo97 Isn't that how these stories usually go? Husband demands open marriage so he can screw around, discovers that he's not that attractive and women aren't lining up to be with them while their wives are picking up guys right and left. Then demands their wives stop meeting others and the wives meanwhile have found there are much better men out there than the assholes they married and file for divorce. I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I’m sick of just wearing different polos/button ups and slacks/jeans/etc. there has to be something else out there. I feel like mens summer business fashion is so lacking. Everybody wears the same thing in my office and I hate how it looks, on them and me. What’s something I can do to help elevate my outfits at work without just “getting a cool pattern”? Any ideas help, thx! submitted by /u/ozzys_world to r/mensfashionadvice [link] [comments]

The summer I got a job here I was 17 and it was a good year. Ellen Ditsworth used to work the hotdog stand and we’d sneak cigarettes under the beams of the Dragon Slayer ride, cringing and giggling as the cars went overhead, dripping water all over us. Wet hands and damp cigarettes… but it was near her station and I think she found it funny to get splashed. It was out of the way too. It was always quiet and cool down there, even in the summer heat. If any of the ride goers smelled our cigarette smoke as they hurtled overhead, they didn’t say anything. One time, when we fumbled around and flirted, I kissed her fingers and they smelled like an ashtray. I still think about it to this day. I was twenty-two when they offered me the winter job. Ellen was long gone by then. No more bright red short-shorts and poorly shaven legs that she’d invite me to stroke under the pretense of showing just how bad she was with a razor. There were other girls, but by the time the final summer rolled around I’d long felt uncomfortable hanging out with new hires. Sometimes I’d stand there listening to them talk and I’d feel lonelier than I had when I was by myself. I was thinking about my future around this time when the manager told me he had an opportunity for me to make good cash. They needed someone to stick around and keep the place ticking while everyone went back to the real world. Usual guy had walked and they needed someone bad. Last day before the park shut for winter was always Halloween and that was only because it had a fireworks show. After that it turned into a ghost town and I’d be on my own. I’d get a trailer to sleep in, and I could use my own car to get to the closest shop. The park would pay some of my gas. Not all of it. But enough to help out. Only real problem was I’d be alone. Not that the place was a desert island. There were two towns within easy driving distance. And I could have friends around so long as we didn’t mess with the rides. But other than that, I’d be the only staff member on hand for the entire four months. Security guard and janitor rolled into one. I agreed, but I told him when the park reopened in March I’d be done. I figured it was time to move on. Get a degree like some of my friends had. Or maybe my dad could help me out with a job somewhere. World was wide open to me and I figured I’d sit on my ass all winter, make a shit ton on overtime, and then go onto some new adventure where I’d meet another Ellen Ditsworth or two. Yesterday I turned 38 and I’m still in the park. Government signs my cheques now. Couldn’t tell you when that happened exactly. Probably after the media got wind of Denise Surrey who broke in with her friends and never left. Lotta kids have gone missing here over the years, but she was the one who went mainstream. Her parents were doctors and she had blue eyes, so she got just enough attention to get the news cameras out. When the fuss died and the media moved onto its next story some government guys came and installed 8ft steel palisade fences. Gave me the keys to the only gate and scarpered real quick. Gave me a funny feeling seeing four men in suits, barrel chested with pistols on their hips, climb into an unmarked vehicle and accelerate out the parking lot so fast the back of the car fishtailed. One of them looked over his shoulder at the park and he was so scared it was like he was looking at a mushroom cloud. I was the one who found Denise. She’d gone crawling head first down the AstroMissile water slide. One of those up and down kind of slides that have you bouncing along on a padded dinghy. Rides like that are usually open top, but this had long sections in a closed tunnel with LED lights to look like stars. Thing is, depending on weight, some people would catch air and hit the top of those tunnels going twenty mph, maybe more. We used to take turns going in there to pull out any teeth that’d got stuck in the roof. Fifteen years later and that tunnel mouth looked like something out of a nightmare. Fairy moss covering the opening. Darkness inside heavier than the night around it. Bone dry and with no obvious way to safety. Denise died of thirst. They think she was in there for six days, crawling around in the pitch black looking for an exit that should never have been more than a hundred feet away There were signs something was wrong with this place back when it was still open. I just didn’t register them. There were the injuries and accidents that are common in every water park, but we had a couple hundred serious ones every year. Usually one a day. Tried to mitigate it with safety measures but half the time they didn’t work. Radios would bug out when you’d try sending a warning. Repair guys would get lost, calling up angry saying the road just kept going right forever and they’d had enough of this shit. Out of order signs would go missing. Sometimes kids would insist some staff member had waved them through on a closed-attraction. They’d be so adamant I started to believe them. I think the manager did too. He made it policy to have name tags on us at all times, and if the kids said whoever gave them the go ahead didn’t have one on, he’d tell us all to forget it. Like it wasn’t even worth trying to figure out who needed a disciplinary. I had it happen once where I radioed to the guy at the top of one slide and told him to stop any kids coming down. The last one had come out bleeding and looking unresponsive, and I wanted to check on him. I remember pulling him out of the water and looking at this boy all slack and pale as a sheet of paper with blue lips, so fucking cold it hurt just to hold him, and I wondered if I was holding someone dead when out of nowhere another kid slammed into me so hard I went under. Scared me shitless cause for a second or two it was like I couldn’t see the surface of the pool. Almost like there wasn’t one. Just blue forever and ever. Before I could start to panic my feet found the floor and I surfaced only to see the kid I’d been holding seconds ago standing there looking worried. He was the picture of good health. Asked if I was okay, said sorry for hitting me when he came out the slide, but really it was my own dumb ass fault for standing there in the first place. Guy at the top swore on his life he’d never got any radio message from me. I put it all down to the head injury, which was bad enough the owner made someone drive me to the emergency room. Looking back, I’m pretty sure it was the park having its fun with me. Could have been worse. You could say it likes to play tricks, but those tricks are mean as hell and over the years they’ve only got worse. Despite all I’ve told you so far, the first winter alone wasn’t as bad as you might think. Creepy as hell walking around all those rides that were usually so busy and full of life. Tarpaulins pulled across all those pools, big and small, moving with gentle susurrations in the icy winds. It wasn’t great in the day, overcast and dreary, the air seemingly blue. But at night it was even worse. I made those rounds quickly, stopping sometimes to summon what little bravery I had to shine a light in the pitch black toilets, or to check one of the changing stalls dotted around the place. Things went missing a lot. Moved around. Once one of the rides came to life at 3am and I woke to the sound of tinny music echoing throughout the park. But winter came and went without any real incident. First day the park reopened, I went to see the manager and slipped in some water. Broke my left arm and did a number on my back. Owner was so scared of being sued he threw money at me. Told me he’d cover the medical bills and sit me up in my trailer and pay me to do nothing. Nothing. What was I gonna do? I’d arranged to start another job on a construction site in a few weeks and there was no hope of me doing that kind of work with my injuries. I needed money and had no other way of making it. I agreed to stick around until I felt better, but unfortunately I never felt better. Winter soon rolled around again and the same deal as last time was back on the table. He needed someone on-site, and I needed money. I took it thinking another few months in the park wasn’t so bad. I was wrong. Second time round was a lot worse. Part of it was me. 23 years old and with a bad back, drinking most nights and struggling with the prescription painkillers. Spent most days haunted by the strange feeling that my life’s honeymoon phase was over. Hardly any friends accepted my invite to come spend a couple weeks, and those that did weren’t around long. Couldn’t tell you if that was just us growing apart, as friends often do, or the park’s strange influence. Dave came round with his girlfriend for a couple nights. She grouched the whole time. Hated sleeping in the trailer while I stayed in a tent outside. But she hated the park too. Said she felt watched all the time. Trip was cut short when we found her screaming one morning. She was pointing at one of the slides saying something had come out of it and was in the pool swimming around, but when we looked we didn’t see nothing. She did have a hell of a bite on her ankle though. Funny shape to it. Dave looked at it and got real freaked out. They left in a hurry. Another car’s tyres screeching as it hauled ass outta here at top speeds. Never did figure out what happened, but if she didn’t like the park, well… I guess it didn’t like her either. Not that I was much safer. Found myself getting cut up like crazy doing basic odd jobs. Things broke all the time, even if they’d been fine for years and years. And then one night I came into my trailer to find a drowned possum on the little kitchen table. Poor thing was soaked in chlorine water that dripped onto the floor in a puddle. No marks going to or from it, like it just appeared there out of thin air. It stank like hell though. It had clearly been dead for days and days. I gingerly dropped it into a garbage bag using a pair of tongs and threw the lot in a dumpster, but I still couldn’t spend more than a few seconds in the trailer without gagging, so I slept in the tent instead. Pitched it as close as I could without picking up that smell, but I had a bad feeling the whole time I set it up. Like I was being watched. By the time I was climbing inside, it was midnight and I was desperate to get to sleep and see the cold night turn to day. Barely an hour later and I had to climb back out of the tent because the trailer door was banging in the wind. Okay, I told myself as I shuffled over in my tighty-whiteys, arms wrapped around my chest for warmth, that’s my own stupid fault for leaving it open. I closed it in a hurry and went back to the tent but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the zipper was pulled shut. I hadn’t left it like that. I didn’t know what to do. My brain went in two directions at the same time. One said I was mistaken. I had closed the tent and just forgotten it. The other said something or someone had crawled inside and was waiting for me. It’d set the whole thing up as a trap, and the best thing to do was to get in my car and drive until the sun rose. But I was already half-cut and knew I shouldn’t be driving. The sceptical half of my brain made an appealing case. The world isn’t a nightmare, it said. It can look like one sometimes, but it isn’t real. If you hear a bump in the night, you go looking and find it was all nothing and you take a deep breath, laugh at yourself for getting scared, and move on. Still, it took everything I had just to take a step towards the tent. And I shone my light at it hoping to see some sign of something in there. By the time my hand was on the zipper, I was shaking like a leaf and rethinking my ethical code of not driving drunk. But when emotions get that high it’s like you run on autopilot. Must be a survival thing. I opened the flap without really telling myself to and then I was looking inside my tent and there was nothing there. I crawled inside quick as I could, pulled the zipper back the other way, and tried to go to sleep. I settled down for maybe another thirty minutes when something’s hand pressed against the tent wall, and that was when I started screaming. The way it came at me. Palm open, fingers spread, tent fabric stretching to near breaking point. Makes my skin crawl just to remember it. Long fingers that tapered to a point. Almost razor sharp. And a palm not much larger than a golf ball, even if the fingers spanned a dinner plate. In the nightmare-reality of the moment I saw it the way I might see a spider. Equal parts disgust and terror. I had to get away, and I backed up so fast I wound up rolling the whole tent like a hamster ball. Lost the zipper in the panic. Didn’t find it again until the last scream finally left my lips and I was forced to catch my breath in the silence of an empty night, accepting that whatever was out there was either laughing its ass off at me or waiting patiently. Either way, I was at its mercy. Only thing I could do was collect myself, and leave the damn tent. When I finally climbed free there was no one waiting for me. Only a couple wet footprints going to the nearest pool. I considered pulling the tarpaulin back and looking, but I was already scared shitless and had no courage remaining. Instead I ran into the trailer, slammed the door shut, barricaded it with every last piece of furniture that wasn’t bolted to the floor, and fell asleep with the smell of rotten meat filling my lungs. Come morning, I was thankful for the sunlight and the feeling that last night’s events were just a dream. After that I locked my trailer door every night, and I never slept in that tent again. No more possums, but it isn’t uncommon for me to find scratches and dents in my door each morning. Nothing serious but looks to me like the probing of a curious animal. Couple days later, something locked me in the boy’s bathroom near the East end of the park. I’d only gone in cause one of the faucets was running. I’d just turned it off when the door slammed shut and I couldn’t get it open again. Had to kick the lock out, which isn’t an easy thing to do. First kick, I nearly broke my ankle. Second time hurt just as bad, and I had to take a breather to cope with the pain. Found myself pacing and occasionally stopping to listen for any sign of someone waiting for me outside. Someone I could shout at, blame it all on. Anything to keep the anger churning and not let it turn to fear. It was a full hour before I got panicked enough to give it my all and finally broke the lock. Burst into the cold air all red faced and flustered and found the park silent as a graveyard. Just those tarpaulins waving gently in the breeze. I learned some important lessons that winter. If you feel watched, feel like you’re walking into a situation someone planned, it’s because you are. When the park reopened I was out of there without a moment’s hesitation. Finally got that job on a construction site and it lasted all of three weeks before I hurt my back again. Spent the rest of the summer laid up on my dad’s sofa drinking and watching daytime tv. Got a call off the manager around August and he told me it had been a bad summer. Not only had the cops been sniffing around like crazy cause some poor kid went missing in the area, but they’d had twice as many injuries as before. Said he’d just spent the day in court hearing testimony from the parents of some kid who’d never walk or feed himself again after he hit his head on one of the rides. He sounded pretty beat up about it. He wasn’t the best boss, but it wasn’t like we worked for Mr Burns either. Poor guy was way out of his depth. Anyway, part of the court settlement was he had to have staff members on site 24/7. I’d done it twice before, and he was desperately in need of someone who knew the job. I nearly said no, but he told me it was me or some seventeen year old lifeguard who’d shown interest in the job and I didn’t like the thought of that. God help me, I accepted, and when I went back that third time I took a gun. And this time I trusted my instincts. If I walked past a changing stall and heard the shower running, I let it run. Hour later, it’d be turned off again. If I saw someone had left the lights on in the staff room, I let them stay on until morning when I could deal with it in the comfort of daylight. Flushing toilets. Wet footprints. Open doors. I learned to stop sweating the little things and nine times out of ten, they went away on their own. Pretty soon I found myself laughing at them. A big fat wallet sitting in the middle of a solitary lounger that’d been dragged into the moonlight. A phone ringing from somewhere in the depths of a maintenance hatch. Those kinds of crude tricks weren’t going to work on me, I decided. Thought I had it all figured out and there was nothing left for that place to show me. And then the park ate a drifter. Or something did, anyway. Did it right in front of me too. I’d found the guy sleeping in one of the brick and mortar bathrooms. We gotta keep those things warm enough to stop the pipes bursting, so I guess they make decent enough shelter. He was an agitated old fuck. Called me all sorts as I told him to clear off. He didn’t make for the main exit though. Wasn’t like he’d parked a car in the lot was it? Instead he just made a beeline for the nearby hills. No fences in that part of the park back then, only open fields moving into woodland. His plan was to just walk into the wilderness in the middle of winter, and I wondered if I was actually marching some guy to a cold death. I remember looking at his shoes and seeing the backs of his heels exposed and I realised I couldn’t let him do that. Snow was due to fall that night and I knew it was gonna get real bad out there. “Hey,” I cried out while slowing to a stop. “Look man it’s late I’m sure…” My words died out. I didn’t really know what to say when he turned to face me. He was angry and tired and I knew he wasn’t ever really gonna be thankful for some randomer’s charity, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t try. For a moment the only sound was the tarpaulin of the large pool to our right. Was just about to cough up some more words when his feet went sideways, his body rotated around his centre of mass, and the next part of him to touch solid ground was his head. It made a noise that makes my teeth ache just to think about. A percussive almost musical note that really shouldn’t be made by a human skull. The blood that sprayed across the tiles reminded me of when I’d go paintballing with my friends. I remember looking down at it and noticing a couple loose teeth. Strange feeling. For a few seconds everything turned to a kind of white noise as ancient instincts rooted me to the spot with fear. Paralysed me. Million thoughts went through my head. The guy was dead. Something had taken him. That blood used to be inside of him. I have blood inside of me. Does my blood look like that? These thoughts were like the sparks that fly off a loose electrical wire, but I was stuck mired in them until the whistling in my ears faded and I heard something being dragged across the floor. The guy hadn’t even gone that far. He’d flown about eight feet and landed just on the edge of the pool. His legs were in the water, hidden behind the tarpaulin, and only his top half was on dry land. His head was a ruin of blood and matted hair, but he still managed to look at me for just a moment before he slid the rest of the way below the water with a quiet splunk. The realisation he was alive kicked my ass into my gear and I ran over to the circuit box and hit the button that pulls back the pool cover. Machine ran loud as it drew the blue heavy sheet back across the water. Felt like eternity waiting for it. When it was finally over and I could look down into the water and see clearly there was no one there. Not even a cloud of blood polluting the pool. Nothing. I felt like I was going insane, and I even looked over and double checked that the guy’s plastic bag was still where he’d dropped it just so I could be sure I hadn’t made the entire thing up. I really didn’t know what to do. The only thing in that water were a couple leaves that had made it in there over Fall but that was it. And then I saw it. I can't explain it easily. It was a sudden overlap of realities, a bit like the hollow cube illusion where it can be two things at once. Without ever taking my eyes off it, that pool became every deep body of water I’d ever seen. All of them, all at once. It was every calm and glassy ocean surface with rays of diffuse light leading into unseen depths, every lake with murky kelp fingers reaching up out of the dark, every flooded basement with black and brackish water. I could smell the stagnant water, could feel the breeze you get standing on the coast, taste the salt. All of it at once. And something moved in those infinite waters and it was big. It was like the first time I saw the Grand Canyon big, like when you get on a plane and see the ground pull away so quickly it loses perspective. Whatever was down there was coming right at me and I’m not ashamed to say I pissed my pants. An ocean full of stars was down there, and the thing swimming towards me had a body that obscured entire nebulae. I felt vertigo come over me, and I backed away and I slipped in the blood and then I woke up a few hours later and started screaming. I had to clean up in the morning. And I had to pull the tarpaulin back across. Machine only goes one way so I had to do it with a pool stick and it made me feel sick just to go near it. Every time I got close I started to feel dizzy again. When I finally mustered the courage to look, there was the same old pool it had always been, but I’d never shake the feeling I had when I was looking down in it and saw teeth like tectonic plates. When summer rolled back round, I saw a bunch of kids in that pool and had to go be sick in a bush. The thought of them sharing space with that thing… Jesus. After that I felt like I belonged to the park, weird as it sounds. Manager didn’t have to fight me to get me to stick around for a fourth winter, or a fifth or sixth. The rest of the world didn’t feel so real to me anymore. Sitting and eating dinner with my father while he lectured me on my prospects. Getting a beer with an old friend who was passing through. I felt like I’d gone into fucking space and seen the world was flat and now I had to just come on back and pretend like I cared about whether my soda was diet or not. Not long after that, the park had its last ever Summer. It had gone too far by that point. Government was looking to close it all down on account of the accidents, and the manager was down the station every other day for questioning. Four kids missing that year alone. I found one of them folded up inside a pool filter, but didn’t report it on account of not wanting the attention. The rest I don’t know about. I was told I’d be paid another month or so after closure until a demolition crew came in, but no one ever arrived. Just me, this place, and a back that’s getting worse with each new winter. I don’t patrol at night anymore. Little by little the park has become something unfamiliar to me. Grass growing up between old tiles. Pool water the colour of cut grass and engine oil. Even in the day, you can see things moving around down there. And the smell of chlorine no longer fills the air. Now it’s the heavy stench of rotten algae and dead water, and sometimes the tang of the salty ocean that I’ve learned to avoid like the plague. Makes me see stars in the corner of my vision and I don’t like it. My dreams are bad enough. Drowning in the dark, something huge bearing down on me. I’ve woken up more than a few times and vomited up saltwater. I can’t bring myself to think what any of it means because I just don’t want to know. Last time I went in the park after dark I had a close call. Worst of my life. I’ve been thinking about leaving ever since, but I worry there’s not much else out there for me at this stage. That and I kinda feel guilty I didn’t save all those kids with the cameras. Urban explorers they call themselves, and I say kids but really they were college students who record videos for something called tiktok. Anyway, they came prepared. Scouted the park, even scouted me, working out my routine and where my trailer is so they could avoid my general line of sight. I had no clue they’d watched me for a whole day. Once they figured I was passed out or asleep, they drove their van as close to the fence they could find, climbed the top and hopped on over. For about an hour they got what they wanted. I’ve watched the footage a hundred times. Broken down toilets covered in graffiti. Smashed windows and broken glass covering the floor. Old pools full of ancient water covered in thick, brackish scum. You can hear the glee in their voices. That kind of urban decay was their bread and butter. And they were good at it too. They stayed quiet. Didn’t shout or break anything. They just filmed. Wasn’t until they decided to try rowing out to the castle that things took a turn. I came too late. What got me out of bed was a scream. Maybe a few of them. It was blurry and I came to around 3am and still a little tipsy, my head foaming at the edges with a half-remembered dream of a hollow world filled with water. As soon as I saw the van, I realised someone had gotten inside the park and I hadn’t just been dreaming the sounds of splashing water and panicked. But by the time I went in there myself the place was silent. I really didn’t want to search it at night. I hadn’t gone in there after dark for a few years and things had only gotten worse. Set something off inside me. A kind of spiritual Geiger counter is how I think of it. An intense primordial warning system that made the shadows around me look almost infinitely deep. More than that, I guess, it felt alien. Sounds stupid but it really did feel like I wasn’t on the same planet anymore. I don’t know. That part might just be all in my head, but that’s how it felt that night. I’d pushed myself just about as far as I was willing to go when I heard it. A rhythmic hollow knocking. It was coming from one of the largest pools in the park. A shallow kid-friendly one we called the Castle because it had a giant jungle gym in the centre. A kind of spaghetti mess of platforms and climbing bars and slides that the kids loved. I followed the sound and saw a pile of rucksacks and even a large camera on the very edge of the pool and there, just a couple metres away, was a rowboat. The idiots had brought it with them. Probably thought they were being smart by avoiding the water below. At least they’d tied it off so it was easy for me to pull back in. I gave it a cursory inspection, shivering at the mere thought of floating across that nightmare water in something so flimsy, and was ready to leave it until the morning when I heard a quiet splashing. Something had climbed out the water, and my heart dropped as I instinctively flicked the torchlight towards the sound of dripping water and saw a thin shivering shape climb onto the lowest steps of the castle. It looked grey and sickly, and then it started whimpering and I realised I was looking at a girl. College-aged, with stringy hair and an outfit that might have been colourful before she’d gone in the water, but now it was just the colour of ash and moss. At a glance, she almost didn’t look human anymore. She looked more like a starving animal. Shell shocked and shaking. I shouted out to her but it was as if she couldn’t hear me. She dragged herself up onto a dry platform and curled up in a ball in the far corner, knees pulled to her chest, and wide eyes locked into a thousand yard stare. And something was in that water. It came close to the surface, displacing small branches and causing the thick pond scum to bulge but never break. From the looks of things it was circling the castle, and in some parts where the algae wasn’t so thick I got the faintest glimpse of colourless scales the size of my hand and a thick muscular trunk. Sometimes it seemed to bump up against the castle, like it knew the girl was nearby but it didn’t know how to get to her. The whole thing shook and she’d whimper extra loud, but she still didn’t show any signs of becoming lucid. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about leaving her until morning. She was unresponsive and looked like she was just gonna stay in the same place. Wouldn’t it be better to just go get her when the sun was up? I thought. But that was a pretty fucked up thing to think. She wasn’t safe there. I wasn’t safe just standing in sight of the water, and she was on some old piece of plastic held together with rusting bolts. What if it collapsed? What if something came out of the water? God knows it could happen. Something had touched my tent all those years ago. Who’s to say it wouldn’t walk on out to take her? At some point I made the decision. Don’t know exactly what did it, but I think it was the sounds she was making, that and the knowledge she’d been in there. God knows what she’d seen. I had to have sympathy. She needed help and I was the only one around who could give it. So once something deep inside me clicked, I knew I had to move quickly before the fear started to fuck with my head. I grabbed the rope and began to pull the boat towards me. I wasn’t sure what would happen. Half-expected something to breach the water like a hungry shark and swallow the boat whole, but instead whatever was circling the castle just slunk into the depths and stayed out of sight. Somehow that was even worse, and I found myself scanning the water obsessively as I worked up the courage to get into the boat. I tried to keep the momentum though. I didn’t let myself start thinking or doubting myself. I just climbed in awkwardly, one foot at a time, damn near shitting myself when the whole thing wobbled and I briefly felt like I was gonna lose my balance. But I managed it, and soon I was sitting down and using the oars to pull myself through the water. As I rowed, my brain moved along in different directions. Part of me was almost watching myself, like from above, and asking over and over what the fuck are you doing? While another watched that water for the slightest sign of life, and a third part of my brain was watching me for signs I was gonna crumble from the adrenaline and ice cold fear coursing through my veins. Each time the oars broke the water I kept waiting to see something coming after me, and I was about half-way there when I realised that if it was big enough it could just bowl the whole boat over like a shark knocking a surfer off his board. It was too far to turn back when I saw the water rise in the distance. Again, it didn’t break the surface, but it came close and sent a couple waves rolling across the entire pool where they lapped against the distant edge. They made the whole boat rock side to side like it was just a bit of driftwood. When the bulge in the water appeared again it was on the other side of the boat, and I made the terrible decision to stop rowing and look over the edge. There was no bottom to the pool, but whatever was down there wasn’t swallowing continents any time soon at least. Hard to pin size down, but based on the steely blue fins that slid by close beneath me that didn’t really matter it could eat me easy enough and that was all that mattered. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if it was a fish or a squid or something else entirely, but I was pretty sure it still had a mouth somewhere in that murk. It gave the boat a gentle knock. Nothing serious. Not enough to roll it, but enough to let me know it was interested in me. I decided I couldn’t just stay there floating in one place forever. I had to move. I grabbed the oars and threw all caution to the wind. The sooner I got off that water, the better. Sure, I’d have to figure out how to get back, but that was a problem for later. Right there and then, all that mattered was the rising terror and disgust that took all my strength to keep from bubbling up into full blown panic. As soon as the boat began to move the creature slid out of view again. Didn’t know if I ought to be relieved or even more afraid, but I took advantage of the lull in its activity to close the distance and, once close enough, I pulled the boat over to the same steps the girl had climbed. Once there, I secured it with a bit of the rope and hopped onto the first step, cringing at the way the ice cold water felt slick and slimy against my ankles. The girl flinched at my touch, but she didn’t scream or pull away. I told her it’d be okay, or something like that. Tried my best to sound reassuring. Tried to let her know I was gonna get her somewhere safe. I managed to pull her to her feet when she finally turned and looked right past me. I barely existed to her at that moment. She only had eyes for the water behind me. Something about the look on her face gave me pause though. She wasn’t scanning for danger. She was looking right at something, and before I had a chance to look for myself she started screaming. When I saw it, I wanted to scream too. I’d never seen anything like it. Or since. A head like seaweed. A face like a scallop. It watched us with an almost casual interest that frightened me more than any predatory scowl. The look of a child about to pull a spider’s legs off. The thought of it still makes my skin scrawl. It was so still, so alien, I couldn’t help but pause and wonder if I was looking at something real or if it was just bad special effects. And yet the moment stretched on and on, until something in that unknowable mind made a decision and the creature disappeared back beneath the water. I made a decision too, and I dragged the young woman to the nearby boat where she started to fight me the moment she saw it. Can’t say I blame her. Last time she was on it she’d nearly died, but there was no third option. It was stay and die or take our chances getting to safety. Unfortunately, we had barely gotten within a metre of the thing when the whole boat was blown sky high with tremendous force. For a few seconds I stood there dumbstruck, the girl crying, and water falling from the sky like a momentary rainstorm. When the boat finally returned to Earth, it was a couple hundred metres away and hit dry land with a great crash. My stomach sank. How the hell were we gonna get off the castle now? Not a moment later and the entire structure began to shake. By now the girl was close to hysterics and I wasn’t far behind. I took her hand and began to look for some high ground as that thing began to shake and batter the flimsy plastic supports that held the platform up. We were forced to climb up towards the plastic roof of the tallest tower, which wasn’t exactly all that high up but it was the best we could do. The bars leading to it weren’t easy to navigate, and at one point I slipped and fell backwards, striking my chin painfully and looking up to see the girl going ahead without me. For a moment I nearly gave up, but then there was the sound of something snapping and the entire castle began to slide on one side. I looked down and saw black water rising up to meet me. The thought of sinking into that filth ignited something inside me and I scrambled up the last few rungs and perched on top of the smooth plastic cover of the castle’s highest turret. It was barely large enough for us both to sit on, but it was all we had. Looking back I can’t help but laugh. I make it sound like a great tower, but it was barely twelve feet off the ground. As soon as I was up there looking down, water quickly bubbling towards us, I realised just how badly we were fucked. We’d delayed our inevitable death by mere seconds at most. By the time the bright red piece of plastic we clung to hit the water, the castle had broken apart so all its little pieces went floating in different directions. Ours was the last to go in, and it went down beneath our collective weight until the water reached our waists. And then it came back up. Buoyant and hollow. It was no boat but it came damn close. “Paddle!” I cried at the girl, and she did. And we pulled ourselves through the water to the nearest edge. Pretty soon the makeshift raft bumped up against the tiled wall and we were dragging ourselves up onto dry land where she rolled onto her back. I continued to crawl for another few metres until I felt like I was far away enough from the water. Only once I felt safe, I let myself collapse and lay crying and laughing for what felt like hours. But the girl only cried. At first a whimper, then a sob, and then a howl. A painful gut wrenching scream that made my own joy wilt until I could do nothing except listen to the raw grief in her voice. When I sat up to see if she was okay, she was sitting upright and staring at the thing that was rising out of the water. Again, no malice. Not really. At least I don’t think so. It’d be like looking for a recognisable expression on an oyster. But it did watch us calmly as it ate what I can only assume was one of her friends. A man, I think. Hard to remember details. He didn’t cry, but he did look at us for help that we couldn’t give. I’m not sure I could even tell you how it ate him, but it looked painful, and slow. Reminiscent of a starfish, I think. At some point the girl passed out, and not long after so did I. I doubt she ever made a full recovery. The only thing she managed to say, even hours later after the paramedics had sedated her and I’d finished giving my (less than truthful) statement to police, were the words the stars over and over. I think a lot about how changed I was when I first looked down into that water and saw the abyss below, but that poor girl was actually in it. She’d swam in those waters. Submerged. I don’t even know how she came back from an ocean that doesn’t have a surface, but she did and somehow I don’t think she’ll ever be the same. But it’s got me thinking about myself. About what I’ve lost to it. Jesus Christ I’ll be forty before I know it and what then? Just gonna wait here forever and ever? There’s a number on the back of my paychecks, and I wanna try calling it to find out more. Like, what would they do if I tried going somewhere else? Would they let me? Because it’s gone. The days of Ellen Ditsworth are gone. The days of a good back and strong legs are gone. The person I was before I saw that drifter die is gone. Yesterday is gone. The past is a shared hallucination. Only the present is real. I need to get out of here before I lose more of myself. I’m never gonna understand this place. I realise that now. I can only accept that it exists and try to move on, which I should’ve done the day I saw those stars. Because there is an abyss, and it doesn’t flow through time like we do. Doesn’t occupy space like we do. But it’s there, and it’s full of gods the way a koi pond is full of fish. And I’m worried the more I think about it, the worse the park gets, and the closer I get to falling into waters that have no up or down, and which never ever end. In my dreams I am choking in the acidic bile of a creature that swallowed me whole. I’m worried that if I stay here much longer, I’ll forget how to wake up. submitted by /u/ChristianWallis to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

What clothing shops around town have decent selections of light, breathable casual/slightly dressed up clothes? When my wife has a lovely summer dress on for a lunch date I got... nothing but t-shirts and jeans, and that needs to change. Price is limited-ish, I'm basically looking for 2-3 outfits (just shirts and pants/shorts) for $500 or less. Looking for more local shops rather than chains but I'm not against scouring Nordstrom Rack, I just rarely have luck there and I don't have the time to check out thrift stores on a regular basis. EDIT: This got more responses than I expected! Just to clarify, I'm looking for physical brick and mortar locations (nothing against buying online, I just would rather try before buying than deal with returns). submitted by /u/HerroCorumbia to r/Denver [link] [comments]

I’d like to first thank everybody for the great feedback on the first part of this series, I’m glad so many of you found it helpful! One of the more requested categories was office wear, so that’s what I wanted to tackle next. The thing about office wear is that it changes more slowly than casual wear. That means you get more mileage out of your clothes, and you have to think about it less. However, “changes slowly” doesn’t mean “never”. Of course, you may be entirely uninterested in that and in upgrading your work look. And that’s 100% fine. However. IF you would like to remain current, there are tweaks that you can eventually make in your work wardrobe. I want to specifically point out that this is not meant to focus on looking TRENDY, but on looking CURRENT. These are not cutting edge trends, these are not trends worn by 18 year-olds. They’re styles that are more updated than, say, 2010 - 2016 office wear. Please keep in mind that updating your work wardrobe DOES NOT mean: ● That you need to throw out all your existing wardrobe ● That you need to dress in a way that doesn’t feel like “you” ● That you’re trying to dress “like a teenager” or in any way non “age-appropriate” ● That you’re a slave to trends ● That your wardrobe will now be “unflattering” Updating your wardrobe DOES mean: ● Assessing your current wardrobe with a critical eye and identifying what works and what doesn’t ● Taking a look at more current/modern fashion styles and picking out some elements that would work for your tastes/wardrobe ● Setting some goals for what your ideal wardrobe/look/message is ● TRYING THINGS ON before forming an opinion on new styles ● Planning your wardrobe for the next few years and making strategic changes/purchases Another thing I want to insist on is that everybody’s workplace is different. That means different expectations, levels of formality, dress codes, and rules. Every idea/example will not suit EVERY workplace and every dress code. I’m not mandating anything here. I’m simply reporting on what’s current and what isn’t, for those who are interested. I tried to include outfits and ideas that run the gamut of formality. It’s up to you to assess which ones would fit your needs and which are inappropriate. You also do not need to make ALL the changes. I’m including examples of different clothes and elements, how they may have changed over the years, and what is their more current version, compared to what was fashionable a few years ago. But it’s up to you to swap the elements that make sense for you and that fit in your wardrobe. No one’s telling you to change everything from head to toe, unless that’s what you want! The Basics Most people aren’t looking to reinvent the wheel when it comes to workwear, and that’s fair. The workplace is not (usually) a fashion show - unless you work IN fashion or an otherwise creative field. But that doesn’t mean you can’t look modern and current, if that’s what you want. Even if you’re keeping your outfits basic, there is still room to update, upgrade, and style an outfit that’s as simple and “timeless” as a white shirt and black pants. The blazer Some examples: blazer 1 blazer 2 blazer 3 blazer 4 blazer 5 blazer 6 blazer 7 blazer 8 The jackets we’re currently seeing are longer and roomier than jackets of yesteryear, more menswear-inspired OR a very snatched-waist Balmain-inspired look that’s come in over the past few years, with an emphasis on power shoulders and a contrast with a smaller waist. The straight cut jacket is long (sometimes even covering the butt), double-breasted, and can be oversized. The new crop of jackets are shorter, go in at the waist, and are either single button or have a single row of buttons, a la Dior Bar Jacket. If you feel like your office is too casual for a blazer, you can opt for a more casual material than the classic black suiting. Tweed is always a good choice, you can go for wool, and for a jacket that is patterned, rather than solid-colored. That’s going to look less formal. Suit vests have also been very fashionable in recent years, and they can be a good alternative if a blazer feels too stuffy or is Too Much for your office. The button down shirt Some examples: shirt 1 shirt 2 shirt 3 Despite what “timeless classics” bloggers would have you believe, a (white) shirt is not, in fact, timeless. Nothing is. Allow me to explain. Yes, the concept of wearing a white shirt will never be “dated” because that’s not how fashion works. An entire category of clothes rarely goes out of style. However, the specific characteristics of a shirt can, and do become outdated. Things like the shape and size of the collar, the cuffs, the buttons, and the length and the shape itself are all very specific to a certain era. The “classic” white shirt from 2003 is tight, short (because it was worn untucked), oftentimes with an oversized and pointy collar and cuffs. The “classic” white shirt from 2010 is longer and straighter, with a tunic collar that does not button up, occasionally meant to be worn with a wide belt on top to emphasize the waist. It was meant to be worn untucked, on top of tight pants. The sleeves had tabs that buttoned up to keep your sleeves rolled up around elbow-level. There might have been some square pockets that were placed too high. We also saw more long, empire-waist tunic-type shirts in this 2008-2012-ish period. The “classic” white shirt from 2023 is a generous cut that’s long enough to tuck into your pants or skirt, but not long enough to cover your butt. It should end around your hip. That means that you can also wear it untucked, over your pants, without it looking frumpy. Seeing as the fashion is moving towards tighter and shorter shirts (no, we’re not talking about crop tops) to go with the wider bottoms, you can also expect to find more body-conforming shirts in the near future. Shirts with a marked waist, princess seams, and generally a variety of tops that go in at the waist. The blazers and jackets with tapered waists are already present, so we can expect the shirts to not lag too far behind. The pants Some examples: pants 1 pants 2 pants 3 pants 4 pants 5 pants 6 pants 7 pants 8 pants 9 pants 10 Slacks The current standard cut for a pair of office slacks (including suits) is a high-waisted straight leg or wide leg pair of pants, usually full length. Cropped, ankle length pants are still encountered, but usually in culotte, or wide styles, less so skinny pants. The high-waisted cigarette pants (or carrot leg, or peg leg) are still out there, but the style is meant to be a little roomier in the butt and thighs; the office is not the place for your tightest pair of pants. These often come in a paperbag waist style, which is very flattering on a lot of body types, as well as comfortable - because the belt is adjustable. The rise is getting lower, however, as low rise is coming back into fashion, meaning that you should be able to find midrise and lowrise pants in wide cuts if that’s what you’ve been waiting for. That won’t change much for footwear, but it might trigger some changes in terms of tops, depending on what styles you’re wearing now. If you were used to tucking shirts into high waisted pants, a low waist doesn’t allow for that. So, you probably need to rethink and re-strategize towards a top that sits untucked, at the top of the hips, for the most traditionally harmonious proportions. Nowadays, a lot of pants have elasticated back waistbands, or even entirely elasticated waists or drawstring waists. Office joggers exist for the new iteration of the more casual and relaxed post-pandemic office. Rises and cuts are encountered in generous varieties. There is no reason for a standard pair of slacks to be uncomfortable. And god, are there office pants of all varieties right now. (A quick note on fit: Even without stretch, a pair of pants that fits well should not be uncomfortable, should not pinch you anywhere, dig into your stomach, or feel tight or constricting. Size up, go for a straight or wide leg if a tight leg is constricting, and try a higher or lower rise if your waistband cuts into your stomach. Do not purchase the smallest size you can fit into. Bosquerella did an excellent write-up on the matter you can revisit if you need the reminder. Everyone deserves pants that fit. Whatever type of rise you’re searching for, I recommend measuring your ideal rise from between the legs and up to where you want it to hit, whether that’s 11 inches, 14 inches, 8 inches, etc. Take a tape measure shopping if you have to. Measure the pants you’re interested in or learn to eyeball it, the name of the style doesn’t necessarily tell you anything about how they’re going to fit ON YOU, because all our bodies are different. Depending on the length of your torso, you may need a different rise than the model does. Shop for your body.) Stretchy pants Leggings have never exactly been business casual, and regardless of their debatable status, they’re just not current anymore. Leggings just don’t read as polished when paired with business casual clothes, and they require a high level of effort in every other aspect of the outfit in order to elevate them and make them presentable and current in the workplace. The exception to this is an athleisure look in a workplace that is very casual and allows sportswear. Think tech or non client-facing roles in other industries. And speaking of leggings, let’s address their ugly stepsister, ponte pants. Despite their misleading name, they do not look like pants, let’s be honest. If stretchy pants are your go-to, the much better - and more modern - option is a pair of straight leg athletic fabric pants. Straight leg or flared, usually with a front seam or crease and even equipped with pockets, this version at least attempts to mimic the look of regular pants. The heels Some examples: heels 1 heels 2 heels 3 heels 4 While there are still plenty of industries and offices where heels are common or even explicitly required, they are becoming less and less expected. The current heel has changed both in height and in shape/thickness. Thicker block heels are more current than stilettos. A patent, square mid heel will serve you well. Heeled mary-janes are currently the IT shoe, and there are variations on the strappy, mid heel style at many different price points. Usually patent - but also leather, for easier maintenance, or satin, for the high-maintenance dressers - mary janes are comfortable, versatile, inoffensive, and come in many different colors at the moment. Sole thickness differs, as does shape, but a lot of them follow the rounded square shape that is currently popular in footwear. Boots haven’t gone anywhere, either. A block heel ankle or knee high boot can be perfectly appropriate for the office, as long as the heel isn’t too high and they’re not a very irreverent design. The flats Some examples: flats1 flats2 flats3 flats4 flats5 flats6 flats7 flats8 flats9 flats10 There seems to be a disconnect in mentality where a lot of people think that “trendy” shoes can’t be comfortable. Dressing for comfort doesn’t mean you need to wear basic shoes. I’m about to say something that I know is upsetting for like, 70% of this sub, but it needs to be said: Rothys are not a modern shoe. More supportive shoes are in style, thankfully, and a loafer is much more current and better for your feet. The Gucci-type loafer and the trend it sparked is a little more basic and doesn’t stand out as much. It’s less of a statement, and more of a supporting character in an outfit. The platform loafers, like the Prada ones, for example, are trendier, but they’re also very comfortable. The thicker sole is very supportive and provides good shock absorption if you’re going to be walking miles in them. If you want to retain the ballet flat style, the modern ballet flat has a flatter, square shape and dance-inspired detailing that is meant to mimic actual ballet shoes. Pointed toe shoes are also coming back in fashion, and the most modern iteration of a pointed ballet flat is a slingback. Mary-janes also have a strong presence among flat shoe styles. One, two, or multi-strap, in patent, leather or canvas, for summer, mary-janes are the perfect feminine, but sophisticated shoe that can work with a variety of outfits, including pants and skirts of varying lengths. The bag Some examples: bag1 bag2 bag3 bag4 Bags for the office can be tricky, because they oftentimes have to carry your whole life, but still remain professional-looking. That’s one of the reasons why huge, unstructured bags like the LV Neverfull and the Longchamp Le Pliage were popular for so long - they’re not cute, but they’re practical. Thankfully, something even better came along, and that is the bizcas backpack. Carrying a laptop, your lunch, your water bottle, your umbrella, and your gym shoes on your shoulder is a one-way ticket to a messed up posture, health problems, and an expensive chiropractor bill. Choose comfort, practicality, and fashion by opting for a modern backpack, instead of a gaping nylon bag with thin straps that dig into your shoulder. Leather is the most elevated choice, but leather backpacks can be heavy, depending on size and construction, so take your time assessing the best material for your needs. Fun/casual/out of the box alternatives The colorful suit Some examples: suit1 suit2 suit3 suit4 suit5 suit6 suit7 If you’re in a more formal industry that still expects a suit, the best thing you can do for your work wardrobe is to get yourself a colorful one. Suiting is huge right now - and has been for a few years - so there is no shortage of office-appropriate options that won’t bore you to death. Valentino pink is particularly prevalent as it’s one of the hot colors of the season, but Bottega green is also in, and you can find an entire range of power colors to give you that extra pop. If you’d rather play it more subdued, there are plenty of pastel options to choose from. Softer, more feminine, but still 100% professional, pastel suits allow you to cheer up your office wardrobe, particularly for the spring and summer seasons, as these tend to come in summer-weight fabrics. The interesting top Some examples: top1 top2 top3 top4 top5 top6 top7 If you want a look that’s more elevated, but still retains the same basic neutral top + neutral bottoms formula, all you have to do is tweak the style of the shirt. You can still keep it white, or another neutral shade, but make sure there’s an interesting design to it. You can play with shape - oversized, billowy, straight, cropped, voluminous, etc. - it’s up to you and your preferences, design details - voluminous sleeves, interesting neckline details, contrasting trims or buttons, etc., material - silk, linen, satin (very current), which also impact drape and silhouette. Again, color is not something you need to shy away from in the workplace, especially if you’re going to pair it with neutrals. There is nothing about colorful clothes that is inherently unprofessional (unless you work at a funeral home). If a top is professional in white, it’s also professional in blue, or magenta. A “spicy” shirt can be the visual interest you need in an otherwise drab work outfit. The midi skirt Some examples: midi 1 midi 2 midi 3 midi 4 midi 5 midi 6 midi 7 midi 8 You may have noticed that in recent years, THE skirt/dress length has been the midi. Reaching around mid calf, the midi oftentimes has a medium to long leg slit. BUT there are simpler and less sexy versions for the office. The shape is straight or conical, rather than the A-line accordion pleated midis we saw around 2016. However, it’s not the tight pencil skirt shape of the 2010s, either. Think more body-skimming, rather than a spandex-y bodycon. In addition to being very current, the midi is very office-friendly because of the conservative length. It goes great with heels, but it also looks good with flats, especially the more modern chunky shoes. A midi skirt can be worn with a classic button-up shirt, or a thin turtleneck, a chunky knit, a t-shirt for more casual offices, and it can even be taken out for drinks or shopping after work or on the weekend. A very versatile piece that can work hard in your wardrobe for the next few years. The danger with a long skirt is to not veer into frumpy, church-y territory. If you’re going for a midi look, I recommend styling it in a very intentional way, with some very modern accessories. A midi skirt with a thin-soled ballet shoe from 2012 and a long, thin cardigan might look frumpy and awkward, but a midi with a chunky loafer and an oversized blazer looks like an intentional outfit. Same with boots - forego the heeled low cut ankle boot and instead, opt for a chunky knee-high boot. It can also look very chic with a longer, oversized, chunky knit. Another way to make sure it’s not reading frumpy is to pick a modern fabric. Leather skirts are very in right now, as are satin slip-style skirts. In the right cut and in a high-quality material, they can be professional, while still remaining stylish. The sneakers Some examples: sneakers1 sneakers2 sneakers3 sneakers4 sneakers5 sneakers6 sneakers7 sneakers8 sneakers9 The main aspect people appreciate about wearing sneakers is that they are comfortable. But if you’re looking to update your work wardrobe, you should know that Allbirds-style shoes are an outdated style. A black pair could be somewhat neutral, especially combined with a chic, modern all-black outfit. But there are equally comfortable sneakers out there that are sleeker, more modern, and more professional. You don’t have to wear the chunky dad sneakers your 15 year-old is wearing, but a sleek, white sneaker with a clean shape that’s not overly stylized or embellished is a perfectly respectable choice that will bring your work style closer to 2023. No synthetic mesh, please. If you feel like white is too stark and stands out too much as an athletic shoe, black is always a safe choice. If you can afford to be really daring in a casual office, you can even try a pair of platform converse. They’re not just more current, but they’re also much more comfortable, because the sole isn’t as thin and lacking in support as the classic version. Plus you get a tiny bit of height, even without heels. The jeans Some examples: jeans1 jeans2 jeans3 jeans4 jeans5 Jeans in the workplace were once a hotly debated matter and it may still depend entirely on your specific office. But in a post-covid world, where so many are reluctant to even go back to the office at all, dress codes have relaxed and jeans are more prevalent than ever before. And why shouldn’t they be? A good rule of thumb for wearing jeans in the office is to stick to a pair that is non-distressed, and solid-colored. No rips, stone washing, or fading and whiskering. Black, dark blue, or mid-blue are all okay colors. Maybe even white, in the summer. For an updated outfit, the new styles of jeans are all very workplace-friendly, because they don’t cling to the body so tightly like skinny jeans did, so they’re not emphasizing anything that an old white man might be offended by or overly taken by. There is no reason why a pair of straight leg or wide leg jeans shouldn’t pair great with a shirt, a sweater, a blazer, and a pair of loafers for a casual office environment. I’d stick to jeans that are actually hemmed, and not distressed, but at the same time, your legs are mostly under a desk, so only you know what you can get away with! Modernize your office fit Finally, let’s look at some typical, average office fits you’d see 10 years ago, and how we can retain the same basic, reliable structure, but with updated pieces. Allow me to remind you that we don’t need to throw out the clothes in the outdated examples and replace them all with clothes from the updated ones! You can get more mileage out of your clothes if you mix and match with some more modern pieces. sweater + black pants do this instead of this The cut matters so much in an outfit, as you can see in these examples. We’re still retaining the exact same formula, but we’re simply updating the pieces. While it’s still a big, oversized gray sweater, the style becomes chunkier, with balloon sleeves. The black pants are flared instead of skinny, which is a more modern cut. The boots aren’t almond-toe, but pointed, and they match the other light-colored accessories. long top/sweater + leggings + flats do this instead of this If your office is casual enough, you may still be able to get away with wearing leggings. Rather than pairing them with ballet flats, opt for a pair of sleek sneakers. You can still keep the white shirt and the knit format, but update to a chunky knit sweater, instead of the thin cardigan. Accessorizing with a big scarf indoors is unnecessary, unless it’s cold. If you want to keep the accent scarf, opt for a thinner silk square scarf, instead. top + cardigan + slacks do this instead of this This is a great example of how you can still wear your long cardigans in a much more modern fit. If you look at the first example, that short, tight cardigan on top of a tight top makes it look like the cardigan doesn’t fit her properly; it’s straining on her body. That’s never a flattering fit. The looser cardigan with a more generous cut in the second example allows for a more comfortable fit. The belt is present in both examples for waist emphasis, but tucking the top inside the pants rather than letting it hang on top is an instant update you can easily make to your everyday fit. If you prefer an untucked top, that’s perfectly fine, but choose a looser fit and not a tight jersey top. Accessories also irrevocably date an outfit. The chunky statement jewelry can easily be swapped for simpler pieces that subtly enhance and highlight, rather than being the focus of your overall fit. sweater + jeans do this instead of this If you’re gonna do a knit with jeans for work, you can easily update the look. Swap the skinnies for a pair of straight leg jeans. The riding boots or ankle boots can be changed into combat boots or a chunky pair of oxfords, and the knit can be swapped for a chunkier, either cropped or oversized sweater. Or you can opt for an oversized knit vest. It’s worn over a t-shirt in this example, but it works beautifully over a long-sleeved button-up shirt, or even over a tight turtleneck. dark suit + heels do this or this instead of this The basic suit has changed shape, with slim ankle pants being less current than straight, long pants with a crease. The blazer is longer, less fitted, and more oversized, and the heels have more of a square toe (or a more elongated point), rather than the short pointed heel in the first example. white shirt + jeans + flats do this instead of this As you can see, sometimes it’s just a matter of styling. The two examples aren’t that different, just slightly updated. The jeans are no longer skinny, but straight-cut. It’s still a style that conforms to your shape, just more modern and less constricting. The shirt is tucked into the jeans, instead of a long, untucked shirt. We still keep flat shoes, but we choose something with a platform. Again, opting for minimal jewelry over the chunky, statement necklaces will instantly make your otufit feel fresher and more modern. If you found this helpful, check out the previous post on updating skinny jeans & new jean styles to try: https://www.reddit.com/r/femalefashionadvice/comments/11cp9nb/your_wardrobe_is_outdated_what_now_step_1_skinny submitted by /u/squeegee-beckenheim to r/femalefashionadvice [link] [comments]

Roger watched the clouds float by beneath him as he stood at the rail of the Arrogance. The steel airship was making good time as it plowed through the skies, it’s rear-mounted propellers providing a pleasant hum that he could feel through the humming of the deck. It was a glorious view, and one made all the more exciting for the fact that the white cliffs of his floating homeland were growing smaller by the moment rather than larger. Soon he would be free. For eighteen long years he had played the part of the dutiful son. Bent to the cultural expectations of this new world. Sure, he’d soon be being married off to one woman or another, but he could think of a few ways to wiggle out of that arrangement in such a manner that he wouldn’t be left completely cut off from his new family’s rather abundant wealth. Or simply browbeat his new wife into accepting his… eccentricities. His joyful reverie was cut short though, as his elder sister made herself known, She looked suitably dashing in her captain’s outfit, the white shirt open in a manner that was popular amongst sailors, as it helped keep out the heat. Lace decorated the cuffs and collar of her outfit, with breeches of velvet. Across her right lapel were the marks of her station, the brash polished until it gleamed in the mid-morning sun. And while he himself had been quite rightly denied the uniform of a man of the Imperial Navy – were that such a thing still existed – he liked to think that his own outfit was of equal impressiveness. Not least of all because it was functional. While his rebirth in this strange new world had required him to grow accustomed to a great many things, he drawn a line in the sand at the some of the more ridiculous outfits being put out for men. Given that, if one ignored the airships and magic, this world was basically analogous to the Victorian era – with men filling the role of the women and vice vera – one could well imagine what sort of ruffled monstrosities were currently being worn by men across the continent. To that end, he had chosen to dress himself in a simple buttoned leather jacket with a white cotton shirt and brown pants combo. A pairing that would have not looked at all out of place in the time of his great-great-grandfather – a man who had lived in a time where the man-pox was a distant issue and men still acted like… well, men. Something his grandfather had tried to emulate as best he could, before passing the tradition down to Roger. Which was part of the reason why the saber hung at the young noble’s side was not entirely for decoration. Unlike his old world, this was a world where women could expect five daughters for every son. Which was why the old man had argued that it made more sense, not less, for a young man to learn how to defend himself. That Roger had all the talent of a left-handed blowfish was irrelevant. It was the principle of the thing. “Ah Roger, I do hope you are settling in well enough. I understand that sky travel is not for everyone,” his sister said. Roger smiled. He and his sister had been nigh inseparable once upon a time, but years and distance had done much to make them strangers to each other. Through no fault of their own. It was simply the reality of things once she was shipped off to the Imperial military academy before subsequently beginning her career as a Royal Navy officer. Truth be told, this was the first time they had spoken in years – and it was as he was making debutante tour. Still, he knew she cared. She could not show it, given the realities of her station, but he could see in her eyes. “I thank you for your concern sister, but I am fine. Truth be told I find the rocking of this vessel to be quite relaxing when compared to similar experiences aboard my own craft.” Elwin paused, raising an eyebrow. “Your own craft? I was not aware that you had ever even ridden an airship, yet alone owned one. Has mother finally overcome her spendthrift ways?” “Ah my apologies for the miscommunication, sister.” Roger chuckled shaking his head. “When I said ‘my own vessel’, I was referring to a small maritime sloop currently held in trust at our grandfather’s summer house.” “…Ah, a maritime vessel.” While the woman continued to smile in a genial manner, there was no disguising the slightly waxy nature of it. Which wasn’t entirely unexpected. His older sibling had never much cared for their grandfather’s attempts to ‘make a man of him’ and had vehemently protested Roger’s annual summer trips to the old man’s estate as a child – even once she had been shipped off to the academy. “I suppose I shouldn’t have put it past the old fossil to teach you to sail rather than something respectable.” Roger just smiled, making no comment. The advent of aether-crystals and airships in this world – along with the fact that all land mass floated about a kilometer above the sea - had left conventional maritime travel to be seen as the vocation of the poor or desperate in this world. Never mind the fact that conventional sea-bound vessels were still an integral part of many shipping industries – given the incredible price of even a single aether crystal. Regardless, playing about on an ocean bound vessel was not considered an appropriate vocation for a young nobleman to pursue. “Regardless of her low birth, the Meteor was and is a fine vessel.” Was all he had to say on the subject. “I’m sure it was.” Though his sister said the words, every ounce of her bearing implied the opposite. “Though I think you will agree that the Arrogance makes for a for more impressive means of travel. In fact, if you would come with me, I’d be happy to show you to the bridge.” “Actually, I find myself rather interested in seeing the launch bays.” That peculiar rebuttal seemed to take Elwin off-guard “You wish to see the Shards? I suppose I could have the pilots brought to the dining room. They’re a little rough around the edges, as all shard-jockeys are, but I can promise you that both are women of good breeding.” Was… was his sister trying to play matchmaker for her pilots? True, that was the purpose of a young man’s debutante tour, but he’d not really been expecting to meet any of his potential suitors before he’d even stepped off the ship. Then again, both of those women would likely have gone to the academy with his sister prior to being posted to her ship and thus were undoubtedly her friends. A friendship they had no doubt leveraged to get ‘ahead of the competition’ as it were. Muddling through his thoughts, Roger shook his head. “Not the pilots, though I’m sure I would be delighted to meet them in time.” With that small olive branch extended, he bit his lip, hope sparking in his chest as he eyed his older sibling. “I was rather hoping to peruse their craft. And the launch mechanisms for them. I am to understand that the Arrogance is a newer vessel, so would it be incorrect of me to assume that you are equipped with the new catapult launch system?” Naked confusion seemed to dance in his sister’s eyes before one more that same waxy smile slid into place. “Ah, I see that your youthful preoccupation with Shard-craft has yet to leave you.” Roger’s smile remained in place. His love of the relatively newly developed fast flying fighter craft was no secret, as much as his mother might wish it was. Once upon a time his room had been covered end to end in scale replicas of the wonderous machines. Perhaps his love of the machines was genuine. Perhaps it was a form of homesickness. He didn’t know. What he did know was that Shards were essentially the biplanes of World War One from back on Earth, in both form and function – and he couldn’t get enough of them. Not least of all because of his plans to emancipate himself involved the creation and distribution of a diesel-powered model as an alternative to the current aether-dust magi-tech creations the locals used. The development of which would no doubt be incredibly expensive, and was a large part of why he hadn’t just abandoned his family and their considerable wealth the first time they told him he needed to ‘preserve’ his chastity for marriage. “Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be possible.” Her tone was apologetic, but brooked no argument. “For me to bring a young man – yet alone my brother - down to the lower decks, with the dregs and engineers…” She shook her head. “No, it simply isn’t done. I could not guarantee your safety in such close confines. I’d have women out here receiving lashes for their wandering hands before we even made it through the first hallway.” The corners of his mouth dropped a little, but he made no complaint. He would, after all, be free to do as he wished soon enough. There was no point in ruining a two decades long plan over something as small as this. “I suppose you are correct. I apologize for my outlandish request. I blame the excitement of the last few days for heating my blood.” Elwin looked relieved. “With that said, if you would like to meet the pilots of the machines, I’m sure they would be happy to speak to you on the topic at length.” Roger recognized the small olive branch for what it was, and was about to accept it gratefully – fully cognizant that his sister was trying in her own way – before he was interrupted by the arrival of a pair of swarthy looking sailors. “Beggin’ your pardon ma’am, but the lieutenant told me to inform you that there’s a ship been spotted on the horizon.” Even as the young woman spoke, her and her companion’s eyes darted to Roger every few seconds. Something he easily ignored. Just about every woman aboard had been doing the same thing since he’d arrived on the ship and he’d learned to ignore it. Even if it was hard at times not to just… give in to the temptation such gazes presented. Elwin scowled slightly, before sighing. “Apologies little brother, I will have to see to this.” “Do as you must, I understand.” As ever, he played the part of the dutiful little brother. “My thanks.” Then she was off, stomping towards the bridge. “This had better be important, sailor. This is my first meeting with my beloved little brother in…” Her voice trailed off as she entered though a doorway leading to the raised bridge. To his surprise though, while the sailor that had spoken had left with his sibling, the other had remained behind. Rather she just stood there, doing a poor job of pretending not to stare at him. Roger watched her for but a moment, before turning his gaze towards the horizon. If she wanted to stare, she was welcome to it. It wasn’t like it harmed in – and to be honest, he rather enjoyed the flattery. He had worked hard to develop the muscles of this new body after all, and was ever happy to have them appreciated. Teasing the women of this new world with his morning workouts was an indulgence that had yet to get old. For if he was expected to remain both pent up and chaste, it was only fair that he take some of that frustration out on the women around him. To that end, he tugged at the collar of his shirt, exposing just a hint of collarbone, enjoying how the sailor tensed just slightly. It amused him to think that he was effectively performing the equivalent of ‘showing off his ankles’. Pseudo-Victorian-era sexuality was a strange pent-up beast. With his other eye, he watched as a spec in the distance slowly grew. Eventually an airship began to take shape as its features grew more and most distinct. It was not beautiful in the conventional sense as it plowed through the clouds. The lines were too stark and utilitarian for that. Yet, Roger could not deny that there was a certain majesty in that stark utilitarianism. He would fully admit that his own proclivities no doubt played a role in that assertion, yet he thought it did not make it any more untrue. If the Arrogance was a noble’s hunting hound, impeccable breeding backed up by the best grooming money could buy, then this incoming craft was a workhorse. An animal designed not to be immortalized by an artist’s brush or a poets words, but rather to quietly churn away in the background, continuously and without complaint, stopping only when too broken to go on. “She’s moving at a fair clip for a cargo ship though,” he murmured to himself. “Is she running from something?” He understood that pirates were something of a problem over the Cyan Sea. Was this transport attempting to seek cover under the Arrogance’s guns? Of course, that was when he noticed the twin flags waving from the mast of the great vessel. The first was for the Avernorn Principality. The Kingdom’s current foe in the ongoing trade dispute over the rights to mine in the Cloudy Strait. It was a small war by any real measure. The sort of ongoing border conflict that flared up between great powers every now and then. One that would likely be resolved one way or another within the year, with each side pledging undying friendship with the other once more – until the next war came along in a few years. What still his blood just a little though was not the flag itself, for even if the vessel was that of a hostile nation, it was still supposedly just a transport. No, what truly wiped the smile from the young man’s spine was the second flag flying beneath the first. The skeletal white kraken on a black background. The international symbol for piracy in the high skies. Effectively the local equivalent to the skull and crossbones. And before Roger’s widening eyes, false panels dropped away from the vessel to reveal massive gun ports – and a single Shard launch bay. As the all-hands bell began tolling Roger felt momentarily lost as to what to do, before the woman from before grabbed his arm. “Uh, you better come with me your lordshipness. The Captain will probably be wanting you on the bridge.” Personally Roger thought it might be wiser to head back to the cabin and lock his door, but he didn’t argue as the young sun-kissed woman started guiding him to the bridge. All around them the ship was a riot of activity as sailors manned the Arrogance’s cannons. Sa: She’s launching a Shard! Roger didn’t see who shouted those words, but he did see the pirate Shard as it tore overhead, glittering sparkles of mana residue trailing behind the fighter craft from its aether-dust engines. The noise was incredible. A low whine that seemed to reverberate through his very bones as the sailor dragged him through a nearby doorway. This wasn’t good. Not good at all. He had plans. Big plans. And none of them involved being captured and subsequently sold off by pirates. In no time at all, he found himself on the bridge, watching as Elwin frantically shouted at the comm officer as the glass around them vibrated from the noise of cannons firing and the whirring of the Shard. “What do you mean the Shards can’t launch!?” She roared. “Those pirates are tearing us up.” As if to punctuate her point, fire from the enemy shard strafed across the front of the ship, the chattering fire from its gatling guns rendering one of the swivel-cannons into little more than slag. The beleaguered comm officer could only stammer a reply as she all but hid herself amongst the many piped that let her communicate with other sections of the ship. “The catapult system has malfunctioned. The, uh, the officer on duty is suggesting it might be sabotage. “Blast it all, we should have that damnable fighter outnumbered four to one by now. Instead it’s tearing us up like a Unification Day Ham.” She paused. “Though, if there’s a saboteur... that means this was planned. An ambush. Which means they must also know about the aether-crystals in our cargo hold.” Roger licked his lips as he processed that bit of info. He hadn’t known that the Arrogance was carrying such valuable cargo. Though he supposed it made sense, even if the Captain was a member of the family, one didn’t charter a ship of the line from the Royal Navy just to take a single young man on a tour across the continent in a search for possible matches. No, it was likely his presence was merely coincidental to the ship’s real goal of delivering the incredibly valuable air-buoyant crystals. Clutching her forehead as she muttered to herself, his sister’s eyes widened as she suddenly seemed to realize that Roger was present. As did a number of the bridge crew. “Roger!? What are you doing here?” Truth be told, he didn’t know himself. “Actually, I followed…” He turned to point to the sailor that had direct him here, but the woman was gone. Well, shit, had he just been set up? Was this revenge for teasing her before? Lost for any reasonable response, he turned back to Elwin who bit her lip, before speaking. “Alright, just stay there. Don’t touch anything. And, uh, try to stay low.” Well, he had no problem with that. Barring the captain’s quarters, the bridge was probably one of the safer spots on the ship. Her words delivered, his sister turned back around, her attention entirely on directing her ship in the ongoing battle. As the reincarnated young man watched, the Arrogance exchanged a broadside with the pirate ship as the two entered firing range. Cannon fire blasted the Arrogance with a withering volley of shot that left several crewmen down, blood staining the metal deck. Perhaps if he himself hadn’t already died and been reborn once, the sight of such death might have disturbed him more than it did. As it was, he found himself idly wondering if they too were now off to be reincarnated in another world? He didn’t know. Just as he didn’t know whether any others from earth had been reborn in this world like himself? He’d certainly seen no indication of such. Idly, Roger recalled his grandfather’s explanations that most of the casualties in a ship battle were caused not so much by cannon fire itself, but by the shrapnel created by the passage of cannonballs through the ship. He could certainly believe it as he watched splinters fly ever which way as cannonballs blasted through railings and bulkheads. …He could only imagine the scene below decks, where most of the cannon fire had landed. Glancing up from the grisly scene, he saw that the Avernornian ship had not come out of the exchange unscathed either, smoke billowed from a number of holes in its steel hull. It was good to see that his sister was giving as good as she got. Unfortunately, the enemy had one advantage she lacked. An operational shard. And much like torpedo bombers at the height of World War Two, the nimble fighter-bombers were proving to be a deadly effective armament when employed against the slow moving airships of this new world. To such an extent that while Roger had heard no rumors of any nation employing any dedicated fighter carrier craft – instead retrofitting ships of the line to carry anywhere between one and four – he didn’t doubt they’d show up eventually. Or he’d invent them himself. Just as he had the thought a massive explosion rocked the deck. “Enemy shard just took out our starboard propellor.” One of the women said calmly, but with a definite undertone of tension in her voice. “We’re listing.” His sister shook her head. “The ballasts will compensate. Hopefully that means they’re out of bombs though. They’ll either have to return to rearm or rely on their gatlings going forward.” As Roger watched, the enemy ship loomed large in the bridge viewport, and for the first time he saw the name emblazoned on the side: The Misty Grave. Amusing. Like a play on ‘Water Grave’, but for airships. “She’s trying to cut us off. Go low.” His sister instructed. “Even with one propellor, if the Arrogance can get passed her she can outpace her.” A second volley of cannonade killed more of Elwin’s crewwomen as she ordered the airship to turn to starboard, relying on her single remaining port-side propellor to power the turn. Unfortunately, as the Arrogance inevitably slowed to turn, harpoon grapples shot out from the Misty Grave, latching onto the foredeck of the Arrogance. Royal Navy sailors rushed forward with axes to cut the steel cables, the banking shard strafed across the deck at just the wrong – or right – moment to cut down many of them. Whoever the pilot was, they were skilled. “We just lost power to the port propellor. We’re drifting.” Elwin scowled. “There was no explosion.” Indeed, the enemy ship had stopped firing now that once the grapple lines had fired. “I, uh, I’m getting no response from damage control team three either. Guns five through ten have gone silent. I’m getting reports of some kind of noxious gas in the gun decks,” the comm officer all but squeaked. His sister cursed. “Yet more work of our saboteur, no doubt. I’d send a unit of marines down there, but the bitch timed her move well. Tell the women to prepare to repel borders. We’ll deal with our spy later.” Even as the boarding-bell began to ring and the women down below unsheathed blades as Royal Marines formed up into a square with rifles in hand, figures from the pirate ship began to appear. They zipped down the grappling lines with the aid of a peculiar hook like device. They were a disparate bunch. Clad in vibrant and outlandish clothes, there were tall women with blonde hair from the Northern reaches, swarthy women from the equatorials and even a number of dark skinned southerners. Hell, Roger could even see a yellow skinned far-easterner towards the back of the group, what looked suspiciously like a katana held in her hands. That was another way this world emulated his own. While the nations all had different names, the different cultures and phenotypes of humanity roughly translated to what they would back home. For instance, the Kingdom had a rather distinctly British Empire vibe to it, while the attacking native Avernornians would best be described as Spanish in culture and bearing. It was just another of those oddities of this world that he had no real answer for, even after living in it for eighteen years. Unfortunately, just as the Arrogance’s marines were grouping up to let loose a deadly volley of musket fire into the boarders, the shard from earlier looped over the Arrogance, nimbly and skillfully slipping between the steel boarding cables before firing a lance of bullets straight through the mass of marines in a maneuver that spoke of almost supernatural skill. “Damn mad woman!” His sister cursed as the craft, almost arrogantly, banked up away into the deep blue sky. Roger had to agree as he watched the sailors below whoop and holler as the Royal Navy sailors looked on in horror. In a moments the momentum of the coming fight was reversed as the pirates charged in to clash with the reeling sailors. The battle didn’t last long from there. The boarders were as skilled as they were fearsome, and with the Arrogance’s marine contingent gutted at the start of the fight by the shard’s ballsy maneuver, the first surrenders from the regular crew weren’t long in waiting. Finally, his sister sighed, defeated. “The battle is lost. Ring the bell to abandon ship. I want a fighting retreat to the gliders.” The admittance seemed to take something out of her as she slumped. And despite his rather dispassionate observation of… everything, Roger wanted to comfort her in that moment. Second life or not, she was his sister. Which was why he crushed down his urge to go over and hug her. She wouldn’t appreciate it. Not here and now. Later perhaps, but not in front of her subordinates. Which made perfect sense if one imagined the same but in reverse, a young man being comforted by his younger sister moments after his first defeat. No, it was better for everyone if he just stayed where he was. Which proved to be the optimal choice, as less than a moment later his older sibling surged back to life. “Come on Roger, we need to get you to the life-gliders. Once you’re safe I can oversee the rest of the evacuation. If we move quickly we can hopefully deny them the Arrogance as a-” Whatever else his sibling might have said was cut off as the door to the bridge was kicked open and a group of pirates spilled in. Elwin cursed as she reached for her blade, along with other members of the bridge crew. “To arms!” The two groups collided and Roger quickly lost sight of his sibling amidst the ensuing brawl. Instead, he found himself backed against a wall by a trio of pirate women. After a moment of hesitation, in which they realized that yes, there really was a man on the bridge, a most discomforting smile stole over their features. Ironically, Roger wasn’t too worried. Or rather, he wasn’t too worried about himself. As both a man and a noble, he was too valuable to kill out of hand. More than anything else, the pirates across from him would be looking to capture him alive. Which was why, it didn’t surprise him when the leader sheathed her blade and stepped forward, one scarred and weatherworn hand held out in a vain attempt at reassurance – or perhaps intimidation. “Alright pretty boy, hands up and old Triana won’t have to be rough with you. Be a good lad, eh.” Roger punched. A solid uppercut that the otherwise quite dangerous pirate seemed utterly unprepared for and as such made no attempt to dodge or block. It was almost comical, the cross eyed look of confusion on her face before she slumped backwards, hitting the floor with an audible thud. The two women with her stared down at their downed friend before looking back at him in total befuddlement. It was amusing to him, how it seemed that the entire world seemed to have forgotten that despite men now being too valuable to risk in combat, the average man still weighed significantly more than the average woman. And while the scarred veteran pirates across from him were undoubtedly stronger than the average woman, he was also stronger than the average man. After all, the muscles running across his body weren’t just for looking good. “One down, two to go.” He muttered as he drew his blade. If he could overcome these two then he might be able to aid his sibling in fighting clear to the gliders. As he raised his blade above his head he- Thud. The sound of his sword sticking deep into the hardwood surface above his head was not ideal, and a casual tug at the stuck implement proved that, no, it wasn’t about to budge anytime soon. He could almost hear his grandfather chiding him from across time. Roger, I just don’t get it. I’ve never seen someone dance around their opponent in a boxing ring quite like you, but put a sword in your hand and you go to shambles? I don’t know. It’s like you suddenly develop two left arms and two left feet. “Ah,” he said, turning back to his now armed opponents. “Any chance we could talk about this?” He got off a single swing, hitting one in the jaw before they rushed him. From the front and the back, because it seemed some of their friends had arrived while he was being disarmed by a cupboard. And stronger than them or not, he wasn’t about to beat veteran sailors in a brawl. …That did not however mean he was going to make this easy for them. He grunted as he was driven onto his back, arms and legs flailing. He felt hands all over his clothes, tearing the buttons on his shirt, yanking at his pants, and fiddling with the clasps on his belt. Perhaps another man might have felt horrified by that, and while he wasn’t exactly enjoying the rough treatment, he was more annoyed by the destruction of one of his favorite shirts than anything else. He continued to lash out with his arms and legs, only to have the breath driven from him as a heavyset woman landed heavily on his stomach, straddling him. Her leering face and not insubstantial breasts filled as she leered down at him. “Nice muscles. Very nice. And you apparently know how to use them looking at old Triana.” She leaned forward about to do… something, when she was grabbed by the scruff of her shirt and bodily hauled off him. Oh, thank god. This was now how he wanted to lose his virginity in this new world. “Get off him you bitches!” The dark skinned long legged woman shouted, her caramel skin glistening with a combination of soot and blood as she waved a saber about with casual authority. “Aww Cap'n, we was just having a little fun with him,” one of the nearby women said. “And look what he did to Triana.” The captain was unimpressed both by the words and the downed form of her subordinate. “Honestly, you lot see a pretty lad and you all go cunt mad. We’re lucky enough to find a noble lad on this ship and you’re all set to rape him in the halls? Do any of you have an earthly idea how much an untouched noble boy is worth as a ransom?” The woman who’d just been thrown off him stood up, eying the pirate captain grudgingly. “It's not like he’d be going around admitting the whole crew had a go at him, Cap'n.” The captain glared at her subordinate. “Nay, I doubt he would, but knowing you mongrels he’d more likely as not have come down with the pox by the time more than three of you had had your fun. And that would be a lot harder to hide.” She eyed the women around her, and for the first time Roger realized that the sounds of fighting had come to an end. Not just on the bridge, but across the ship. Glancing over, he was relieved to see that his sister was still amongst the living, albeit with a gash across her arm and staring with real hatred in the direction of her opposite number. “Are you willing to risk barrels of gold for a single turn on a noble slick-dick? One that more likely than not will be as soft as your father’s scrotums by the time it’s your turn?” The assembled pirates muttered under their collective breath, but none made any move to voice their objections. Which was good. It seemed he wasn’t losing his second v-card today. “Leona.” The now named Leona turned, real surprise on her face as she saw Elwin under her people’s guard, along with the rest of the bridge crew. “Elwin? As I live and breathe. You’re the captain of this boat? I mean, I knew the Arrogance would be headed this way with valuable cargo, but not who’d be captaining her.” She chuckled. “Oh, this is a delight.” His sister was less amused. “You dirty Avernorn scum. We’re barely a year out of the academy and you’ve already turned pirate.” The familiarity between the two disparate women confused Roger, until he recalled that his sister had attended the internationally renowned Imperial Academy for Military Theory, rather than the Royal Academy for Young Women. The Imperial Academy had been formed during the days of the now defunct Empire. The military institution was now run by the church and received officer aspirants from all across the former Empire territories - including Principality and the Kindgom. The idea was that by learning to be gentlewomen together, it would foster ties between the former Imperial nations and promote peace. …Something that it was rarely successful in, given the current conflict between the Kingdom and Avernorn. “Actually, I’m a privateer.” The Latina said, unphased by the insult. “Elsa and Ranorn are too.” “As if there’s a difference!” Leona just shrugged before she gestured out the window to where the hovering Shard was being reeled in by the Grave. “Elsa’s the one who tore up your ship in her shard, by the way.” His sister snarled, but Leona just laughed. “Really, it’s a shame your own goons didn’t get an opportunity to show their own mettle – or lack thereof. I assume it’s Jenkins, Murtell, Lankin and Grey, right? Your usual cronies? “ Leona chuckled again when his sister didn’t correct her. “And to think, I was worried that we might be in trouble if something went wrong with the sabotage. It’d be just like the old days back at the academy.” Elwin glared up at her captor. “I’d call you an honorless cad, but I’m sure you’d take pride in it.” Leona crouched down, looking his sister in the face. “See, that’s the problem with you Elwin. What you call honorless the rest of us call common sense combined with good planning. Which is why you’re now my prisoner and not the other way around.” She stood up and turned, finally looking at Roger for the first time – Which left him feeling rather exposed, given the state of his shirt. Something the woman quickly picked up on as he watched her golden eyes widen with just a hint of interest as they roamed over his bare chest and stomach. “Along with this delightful specimen of manhood.” She licked her lips and despite the situation, Roger couldn’t help the little bit of stiffness that formed in his groin. The woman looked good. “Though I do find myself curious as to why you had a man on board. I mean, I knew you were a rich girl, but I always thought you were too strait-laced to bring your boy toy with you on a deployment.” She turned back around. “Did you finally loosen up after finally getting your commission?” “No!” Elwin shouted. The vehement denial seemed to catch the pirate captain – or privateer – off guard, before a look of realization stole over her features. “Wait, is this that brother you were always going on about?” The woman didn’t wait for a response, cackling to herself. “He is isn’t he? And right now he’d be about the right age for his debutante tour as well now wouldn’t he. Is that what I interrupted? His sister just glared. “Oh, that’s too funny. I can’t wait until the other two hear about this. You know, once they’re done loading your unlaunched shards onto our ship. Along with those incredibly valuable aeither-crystals you were supposed to be protecting.” She paused. “And your brother too I suppose.” Despite her injuries, his older sibling surged forward, forcing the pirate behind her to pull her back. “Don’t you dare touch him you skank.” Leona ignored his sister as she leaned down towards him. “Tell me boy, has anyone popped your groomhead yet?” “No. I imagine we have that in common.” He resisted the urge to smirk as a small tic seemed to form on the woman’s face. Taunting his captor probably wasn’t wise, but he hadn’t exactly enjoyed nearly being raped or the way she’d been taunting his own flesh and blood. “Feisty.” She said finally. “I definitely see the family resemblance now.” Finally, the hard veneer his sibling had put up seemed to crumble. “Leave him be Leona. He’s just a lad. Take me instead. I’m the heir to the family. I’m worth more.” That was a lie. Perhaps it might have been different if Elwin was an only child, but she and Roger had two other sisters who could fill in as heir in the event that something… happened. It was a big part of the reason why Elwin had been allowed to take on a military commission in the first place. Roger though? His gender alone made him valuable in a world where men were rare. Leona seemed to consider the words before shaking her head. “I would, but thenwho would pay your bounty? In my experience the next head of a family is more likely to write the previous off as dead rather than paying to have them released.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry though, we’ll tack your price onto your brothers. If you want to see him again, I’d keep that in mind when you finally get back home.” The Avernorn captain gestured for her women to force all the prisoners up, and Roger had little choice but to comply as no less than four women forced him upright. He’d like to think that was out of respect for what he done to the downed Triana – who was also being scooped up – but he knew the real answer was that they just wanted to unsubtly grope the half-clothed male. He could already feel one hand probing at his abs while another pinched his ass. “Girls, herd the survivors onto the gliders then we’ll see if we can’t get this rust bucket underway.” As they moved through the blood and soot stained hallways of the ship, Roger looked up as he found his sister edging closer to him. “Be strong brother. You need only endure until I can get your ransom paid.” Roger nodded. “I will sister. Do not worry for me. I shall persevere.” Oh, he’d do more than persevere. These pirates had no idea what they were in for. He had eighteen years of sexual frustration built up – yes, eighteen – and he’d just found a series of consequence free targets on which to vent it. The two siblings were yanked apart as the young nobleman was lead up the gangway of the now docked Misty Grave. He tried to ignore the leering looks he received from those pirates he passed on the way, or the looks of pity he received from the surviving crew members of the Arrogance. ​ ​ *** ​ First / Previous / Next submitted by /u/BlueFishcake to r/HFY [link] [comments]

Last updated: 12/07/19 Edit 32: Couldn't help myself. Added Urban Jurgënsen and Manufacture Royale. Thread is archived so no promises, but feel free to message me with any requests! A. Lange & Söhne: You work in investments, but nowhere as common as Wall Street. You have been known to casually ask to compare balance bridges with Patek owners. Alpina: You are subscribed to Outside magazine, and can quote passages from Krakauer’s “Into the Wild” by by heart. You own a pair of serious hiking boots, but they languish in your closet, unworn and unmuddied. You could not afford a Rolex Explorer. If pressed, you would not be able to articulate why anyone would actually need an “Alpinist” watch. Audemars Piguet: You are a rapper, and you think the brand name is “Royal Oak”. Apple Watch: You are either a secretary or nine-figure earning CEO at a Fortune 500 company. You use your Apple Watch Series 4 to track both your weekly jogs and chicken roasts. You are vaguely familiar with the idea that other, “old-fashioned” watches exist, but assume they will soon disappear once they are no longer repaired by their manufacturers. Azimuth: Your two most treasured possessions are an autographed photo of Leonard Nimoy and a replica copy of the Voyager probe Golden Record. You can only dream of owning an MB&F. Ball: As you walk through your LED lit hallway, down the stairs illuminated by motion sensing flood lamps, and towards your basement model train table outfitted with 3000 Lumen overhead halogen bulbs, you’re gladly reassured by your watch's Tritium lume - for the brief second it takes to find the switch. Balticus: You are either a metrosexual 20-something working in Warsaw, or a teenage boy living in rural Estonia. You don’t get to play with your Overwatch team as much as you’d like due to the time difference. You dream of moving to Berlin or New York. Baume et Mercier: You were touched when your wife got you a Clifton for your wedding. You have since gotten a Rolex, but wear your B&M on special occasions. Thankfully, she got you an automatic, not a quartz. Bell & Ross: You think IWCs are a pale imitation of a Boeing 767 flight instrument. You want to wear the entire flight panel. Blancpain: Let’s be real, unless you're Vladimir Putin, the only watch you wear from this brand is the Fifty Fathoms - and it never goes near water. Bovet: You are the president of an esteemed French bank, say, Société Générale. While browsing the shops near your villa in Nice, you came across a lovely Fleurier, which you bought without even considering a discount. So much less common than a Breguet. Breitling: You aspire to be a pilot. You think the Breitling Emergency is the coolest watch ever made. You are unfamiliar with the term “in-house”. Bremont: You are an Anglophile. After purchasing two models from the boutique, you are hoping one day to be invited to a Townhouse event. You are either blissfully unaware, or painfully so, of the concept of “resale value”. Though you publicly state it doesn’t matter, you are secretly jealous that Tudor is moving in-house. Even you are somewhat embarrassed by their origin story. Breguet: You properly pronounce “Tourbillon”. You cringe when others refer to dial markings as mere “Arabic numerals”. You wish more people understood the history of horology. Your dream is to visit Paris. Bulova: You are either a middle-aged man obsessively collecting the 1970's Accutrons of your youth, or you picked this up from the jewelry counter at Kohl's - with a coupon. Burberry: You are either a skinny-tie wearing American office drone, or a Chav named Derek living in Slough. In either scenario, you believe the checkmark on the dial exudes class. BVLGARI - Men's: You wanted a watch that looked like a Diesel, but more expensive. BVLGARI - Women's: While you already have a diamond Datejust, you wanted something a little flashier to go with your evening-wear Chanel handbag. You delight in correcting others when they attempt to read the name on the dial. Even watch geeks will admit your Serpanti is kind of cool. Carl F. Bucherer: You are a Chinese national who has never visited the United States. Your uncle’s textile factory has vaunted your family into the upper-middle classes, and it is expected that you project a certain image to distinguish yourself from the commoners. The saleswoman assured you that your Manero is for “a man of distinction” and will fit perfectly with your other internationally recognized luxury item, your cherry-red Buick GL8 Sedan. Cartier: You like beautiful things, and are possibly a woman. Casio: In school, your glasses were held together with Scotchtape, and the mechanical pencil in your shirt-front pocket always jammed, but your trusty Calculator Watch never failed. You are shocked that others are copying your look ironically. Certina: You are the 33-year old manager of a Coop supermarket outside of Davos, Switzerland. While you believe fancy watches are for tourists, your Powermatic was listed “Uhren 50% Rabatt!” and looks pretty sweet. Chanel: When you awake, you reach for your bottle of No. 5 - sprayed at the pulse points - before you check your phone. You love your ceramic white J12 for the way it effortlessly graces most of your outfits. You spend most days at work surreptitiously surfing TheRealReal, desperately trying to emulate your idol, Coco, on the cheap. Secretly, you wish the whole Nazi collaborator thing was just an ugly rumor. Chopard: When you got engaged, you insisted on a “Chopard for Love” ring in a platinum setting. While your finance-bro fiancee couldn’t be there on the special day, he gave you a Happy Diamonds to go with it on your three-year anniversary. He will marry you. Eventually. Right? Christiaan Van Der Klaauw: You are an unusually successful astrophysicist with a NY Times bestselling book. You wear you hair at a rakish angle, and unabashedly use the phase “a priori” in everyday conversation. You actually understand the concept of Sideral time. You first heard of the brand from the oligarch who endowed your research chair using laundered Petro dollars. Christopher Ward: You can’t afford to spend more than $1K on a watch. You’ve come to actually love your Trident. Secretly, you think the new logo makes your watch look like a toy. Citizen: You work for NASA, and your job is to set the clocks on the GPS satellites. Concord: The year is 1986. While all the other middle-managers are celebrating their promotions with Trans Ams, women, or Rolexs, you chose the Concord Saratoga. Placing the leftover cash into Lincoln Savings and Loan bonds and a custom suit with serious shoulder pads, you choose to invest in things that last. Corum: You spend most days at your estate's dock, "working" on your teak-decked Sloop, so much so that your wife - for whose birthday you bought a subscription to Sail magazine - calls your Coxswain when she wishes to find you. You exclusively wear Sperry’s and have been known to sport a racing flag tie unironically. You know nothing about watches. Cuervo y Sobrinos: You are a third generation Cuban-American named Jorge living in Buena Vista, Miami. You drink Bacardi Gold as you grill pulled pork at cookouts and play dominos with your Abuelo. You chose your Rubusto to honor your family, culture, and heritage. Secretly, you’re terrified that someone might find out your legal name is George - and that you speak no Spanish. Damasko: You earnestly believe that form must always follow function. You lament the paucity of good quality, acid-resistant PVD watches on the market. As you wear steel-toed hiking boots daily, you wouldn’t be caught dead handling, much less wearing, a gold dress watch. Daniel Wellington: You are a millennial who is into latte art. You think Humphrey Bogart looked so cool in old movies with his suit and trench coat. You are unaware of the terms "quartz" or "automatic". If you're honest, you had a hard time choosing your watch, as they all look the same on the website. You pay $5 a pop at the jewelry store to change Nato straps, which you recently got into. De Bethune: You successfully sold your internet company - with no revenue, let alone income - for $450 million dollars. You love technology, shiny things, and the color blue. You have a life-size replica of the Star Trek: The Next Generation bridge in your Rec room. Diesel: You are either a teenager with vociferous opinions on the PC vs. Console gaming wars, or a playboy far too busy dating multiple women simultaneously to know what that is. Dornblüth & Sohn: You own a grandfather clock, which you wind daily. Your have the same opinion on Roman numerals as on your ex-wife - cluttered, fussy, and confusing. You drive a vintage BMW - in your opinion, the epitome of a functional automobile - before the snazzy marketing made them much too flashy. Ebel: Fresh out of law school, you just got your first associate-level job at a big firm. You wanted something pretty but professional to wear to work. You are confused as to why on dates, men excitedly ask to see your watch, then get close, look disappointed, and say ”oh…an Ebel...”. Edox/Mido: You are a 23 year old German man, fresh out of the University of Heidelberg. Your starter job and soon to be expiring student benefits did not allow you to stretch for a Longines. The salesman’s face visibly fell when you walked through his door. Eterna: Your KonTiki was a Jomashop 75% off gamble. You have since become a fanboy, going so far as to grow a beard and voraciously reading Thor Heyerdahl's memoirs. You will order a nature survival kit, tent, and water purification pills online before you lose all interest and snuggle back up to your PS4. Fortis: You are a young German man living in Düsseldorf. You saved up quite a few paychecks at your Aldi managerial job to afford your Stratoliner. You wish the SR-71 Blackbird was still around. You have re-watched Top Gun 23 times, while imagining that your handle would be “The Baron”. If you ever actually visited an American airbase, you would be disgusted with the wastefulness and vow never to return. Fossil: You are a 25 year old man at your first job. Your workplace has open-plan offices and “Sunday Fundays”. You carefully buckle up your leather watch before dates, and make sure it shows under your cuff. Franck Muller: You are a jocular pediatrician, or possibly, a professional clown. You have a weakness for Tonneau cases and Art Deco numerals. Frederique Constant: You could not afford a JLC Master Ultra Thin Moon, so you got this instead. You are unsuccessfully trying to make a 42mm dress watch work for your wrist. You were shocked, and a little disappointed, when you learned that the company was founded in 1988. Garmin: You are subscribed to Men's Health and GQ. Before leaving for work, you lace up your running sneakers and strap on your Forerunner in case you can get a quick run in on the way home. This never happens. Your Bowflex sits quietly in your garage, gleaming and untouched. Ginault: You spent $1,449 on a Rolex Submariner Homage. You while away countless man-hours on the forums, defending the brand from baseless accusations. You will ultimately purchase Hulk, Pepsi, and Daytona homages from other brands, and with time, will have spent more on replicas than the cost of the real thing. Girard-Perregaux: You swear that the Laureato is “the next Overseas”, and that the Golden Bridges are an under appreciated masterpiece. You purposely chose a 1966 over a JLC Master Ultra Thin. Secretly, you wonder if you made a mistake. Glashütte Original: You, overall, cannot afford a Lange. Glycine: You’ve outgrown the flashy Invicta's of your youth, but are still hesitant to go smaller than 46mm in a watch. Secretly, the vaguely military associations of your Combat Sub mildly arouse you. If he were alive to see it, Eugène Meylan would throw an egg at your face. Glycine - Vintage: You live in an old age home, with your WWII Purple Heart and military induction papers tucked away discreetly in a corner. You still wear the Airman which you bought on the base at Ramstein in ’49. Sadly, your grandson only visits to eye it covetously. Graham: You couldn’t resist a watch whose crown is easily confused with a grenade’s firing pin. Your Volkswagen Golf has vanity plates and a silkscreened pin-up on the rear window. You have a shrine to your grandfather in your room, a WWII vet with the British Expeditionary Force, though he only got to flee Dunkirk. Even you suspect the “Watchmakers Since 1659” claim is crap. Grand Seiko: You think a Spring Drive is the coolest thing since sliced bread. You frequently photograph your Cocktail Time with your Sony camera or, in a pinch, your latest generation iPhone. You have bookmarked Youtube videos of the Grand Seiko factory - in case you meet someone with a Swiss made watch who needs a little convincing. You wish Seiko would do marketing better. Grönefeld: While trained at RADA, you have peaked as a recognizable, but under-appreciated Hollywood actor. You have impeccable taste and a thing for Salmon dials. You wanted something dressier than your sponsored but boring Omega to wear to the Met Gala. G-Shock: You are a junior in college, or an emergency room physician. You delight in taking your G-Shock to watch meet-ups, to the horror of the traditionalists. You recently took up mountain biking just to post Instagram photos of your watch on the trails. H. Moser & Cie: You have a mischievous sense of humor, and in high school, were known to film pranks you pulled on your friends. You have an insatiable weakness for fume dials. While you can’t quite put your finger on it, you suspect the brand will be worth a lot in coming years - or so you tell anyone who will listen. Deep down, you are terrified your Endeavor might just be a passing fad. Hamilton: You recently graduated college. You spent hours on the watch forums, debating between this or a Longines. You finally settled on the Jazzmaster/Khaki, though the salesman couldn't tell you anything about it. The highlight of your life was when a random woman on a date said, “nice watch”. You almost married her. Hautlence: You have a game room in your Park Avenue, per-war classic six filled with pinball machines. You wear pink glasses, to let your underlings at your Goldman Sachs job know that you can be “cool” too. You are not. Hermes: You are either a perfumer living in the Montmarte district of Paris, or an American woman with an unerringly good fashion sense. Hublot: You are, simply, wrong. HYT: You are a successful electrical engineer with lucrative patents to your name, or an internet startup founder that actually solved and monetized a hard problem in computer science. You love nothing more than to hand your H1.0 over to curious passerby, while pontificating upon the intricacies of fluid dynamics. Invicta - Type 1: You are a non-watch geek dad in a suburban shopping mall. You wanted to get "something nice" for yourself. You find sub 46mm watches "too girly". You enjoy explaining to others, with wide-eyed delight, how your watch is powered by "moving your arm". Invicta - Type 2: You are in high school, without a summer job. You think the Rolex Submariner is the perfect modern, go anywhere, do anything watch. You feel ostracized on the watch forums, but can’t help but smile when you see your Pro Diver on your wrist. IWC: You are openly not a pilot, but enjoy having an altimeter strapped to your wrist. Jacob & Co: You are a formerly successful, now destitute rapper. You pawned this watch at a significant loss. Jaeger-LeCoultre: You exclusively dress in suits, except on bank holidays, when you wear chinos and your Reverso. You are frequently found on watch forums extolling “the watchmaker's watchmaker” virtues. You think 100M of waterproofing is all anyone should ever need. Your will instructs your heirs to bury you with your Atmos clock, as they surely won’t appreciate it. You hope one day to be able to roll your R’s like the guy in the boutique. Jaquet Droz: You are either a well diversified collector, or an Arabian Shiek from an oil rich kingdom. If the latter, your other watch is a Rolex Daytona Rainbow with diamond bezel. Johan Eric: You googled “watch” on Amazon and this is the first thing you found with Prime shipping. In general, you are decidedly not picky, both in watches and in life. JS Watch Co: While you used to have a very generous circle of friends, your incessant droning on about your trip to Iceland and the sweet Frisland you scored there soured even your most steadfast companions. You now spend most days online, nostalgically looking at Tripadvisor reviews for restaurants in Reykjavik, or re-watching the Lord of the Rings for the twelfth time. Junghans: You were just hired by a big design firm, but on a starter salary. You visit your local art museum on “free admission weekends”, and hang around free gallery shows. You have a small tattoo on your right bicep. You hope to upgrade to a Nomos one day. Klasse14: You favorite Instagram influencer subtly bombarded you with sponsored posts showcasing the brand. You hope your Miss Volare will one day star in your own epic selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower. Kobold: Your “keeper” test is if she’ll watch all six seasons of the Sopranos with you. Your most treasured possession is an autographed napkin from the late, great, James Gandolfini. Since his passing, your interest in the brand has cooled, and secretly, you worry that your Spirit of America is just a more expensive Shinola. Laco: As you gaze admiringly at the Saarbrücken on your wrist, you find yourself wondering: Was Hitler really that bad? Lip: You are a Frenchman originally from Toulouse. You work for the Bureau of Weights and Measurements, converting metric measurements to Napoleonic Mesures Usuelles for those still living in the First Republic. While you would prefer to wear an Omega, you can only imagine the shocked “Non!” That would emanate from the mustachioed lips of your supervisor, Gaspard, upon seeing it, and you’d rather avoid an employee tribunal. You’d win, but it’s a hassle. Longines: You just got your first job out of college. You are looking for something classy and professional to go along with your first real suit. You will one day own a JLC. Lorus: You are a street-peddler living in Hyderabad. You cannot afford a Seiko 5, but not for any reason that would be remotely funny. Luminox: You constantly talk about “doing an Ironman”. You sleep in a Naval Academy t-shirt and proudly fly the “thin blue line" US flag on your porch. You make vague allusions to former service when asked, but secretly, you were only a mall cop in the 90’s. Manufacture Royale: Liberace would like to know where you got your watch. Marathon: You are a former United States Marine, 3rd Battalion, 6th. You wore this watch on patrol in Kandahar, where your buddy scratched his initials on the case back. This is either a faithful re-telling, or you have entirely imagined the above scenario for color at your current office job. Maurice Lacroix: The year is 1995. Bill Clinton is president of an economically resurgent USA. You just got promoted to Assistant to the Regional Department President of your longtime employer, IBM. Having recently heard about the value of a “Fine Swiss Watch”, you decided to purchase your Pontos after seeing an ad for it in the pages of Sports Illustrated. It feels right. MB&F: You are an angel investor in various internet start-ups. You believe in “thinking different” and “changing the world”. Having gone through the various Pateks, Langes, and Journes that befit your station, you now find pretty much every other watch brand ridiculously boring. You wear an Apple watch concurrently on your other wrist. MeisterSinger: You purposefully wear subtly mismatched socks with your corduroys. You carry your daily possessions in a fanny pack, considering it more practical than a messenger bag. You are perpetually 10-15 minutes late to all your appointments. Secretly, you have a thing for amputee girls. Michael Kors: You are a 16-33 year old woman. Your house is filled with rose-gold colored accessories. You shop at Macy’s, where you purchased this watch to match your handbag. In the watch world, you are actually one of the sane ones. Mondaine: You either have a collection of hair mousses to apply based on the weather, or are an oddly obsessive spotter of Swiss electric trains. Montblanc: You couldn’t afford a JLC. You have since taken to the watch forums, declaring the superiority of Minerva, stating, “it’s over for the over $5K’s”. Secretly, you also hate stacked movement complications. Montegrappa - Chaos by Sylvestor Stallone: What the hell is wrong with you? Moritz Grossman: You are the head of an old family manufacturing firm in Bavaria. Your frauline, Hilda, urged you to finally treat yourself and upgrade from the reliable but tired Swatch on your wrist. Feeling a Lange was too recognizable to the men on the assembly line, you chose the Benu Power reserve, but only to wear at board meetings. Movado: You are either a 21 year old man wearing a Movado Bold at the club, or an 83 year old gentlemen wearing an original Museum piece. There is no middle ground. Mühle Glashütte: Your evangelical zeal for the brand makes you the human embodiment of those “allow notifications?” pop-ups. You dream of becoming a mariner. MVMT: You are a millennial who drives a motorcycle. You have a collection of leather jackets. You hope someone comments on how well your watch matches your sunglasses. Nixon: You are a 32 year old man named either Chad or Brad living in Encinitas, California. As you spend most days on the beach surfing in your board shorts, you have a perpetual tan even in winter. You aren’t into watches, but your Base Tide was giving you good vibes from the surf-shop window, and it matches your leather Yogi bracelet perfectly. Nomos: While you initially could not afford a Swiss made watch in art school, you are now a successful Bahaus-style architect. You have a membership to your local modern art museum. While you prefer espresso, you drink drip from a vintage Braun coffee maker. Apple “Keynote Days” are like Christmas in June. Ochs and Junior: You sincerely collect promotional posters for modern art exhibits. You have an interesting job in either advanced engineering or product design at a well funded startup in Berlin. Somewhat obsessively, you refuse to wear any items with visible brand names. Even you can’t always tell what the hell the date is on your perpetual calendar. Oris: You are frequently found on watch forums, starting, “Why buy an Omega when you can get virtually the same quality for half the cost?” You think the Sixty Five is exactly what your grandfather would’ve worn - if he was cooler, and not a rural school teacher from Iowa. You are secretly trying to save for a Rolex Sub, but need the cash for your PADI training. Omega: You are intimately familiar with all 12 manned Apollo missions. You eagerly anticipate the next James Bond film. You refer to your Seamaster as “the thinking man’s Sub, with a better movement”. Bonus points if you know who George Daniels is. Orient: You are a senior in high school. You love your Bambino, but as you know watches, you don’t claim it’s equivalent to something more expensive. You dream of winning the lottery. You are pure. Panerai: You frequently exclaim, “What’s the point of wearing a watch if no one sees it?” You live in California, and exclusively wear short sleeves. You are unusually familiar with the Italian Navy’s WWII operations, glossing over the period 1940-1943. Parmigiani Fleurier: You are the scion of an old, proud Italian banking family. While you of course have a few Patek’s tucked away in the vault at your Lago Maggiora villa, your father, Luca, gifted you your Tonda Tourbillon because he errantly believed it was an Italian brand “like from the old days, bene!” You don’t have the heart to correct him. Parnis: You desire a replica Daytona, but your country’s customs force is extremely efficient at confiscating goods that violate trademarks. Patek Philippe - Type 1: You took off from work to watch the Henry Graves Super Complication auction livestream. You think the Nautilus is overvalued, preferring the khaki green Aquanaut instead. You are possibly John Mayer, but if not, you hope one day to actually own your own Patek. Patek Philippe - Type 2: You are a Russian oligarch. You assert that a hacking seconds “damages the movement”. Though you’ll never say so openly, you are secretly jealous of the finishing on a Lange. You feel reassured when you see one of those “For the next generation” ads. Philippe Dufour/Laurent Ferrier/F.P. Journe: You are a Russian oligarch, but with exquisite taste. Piaget: You claim that the Calatrava and Patrimony "smell of old man". You frequently end arguments with "yeah, but...thinest movement in the world." You cannot actually afford a Calatrava or Patrimony. Poljot: In the old days, you were a MiG-23 fighter pilot for the Motherland. Your Poljot, along with your state-issued Volga GAZ-24 sedan, marked you as a man of importance among the proletariat. Sadly, in your current job as grocery store guard, only the old babushkas recognize your former glory. It would kill you to know that 30-year old gamers bought your watch online because they thought the Cyrillic on the dial looked cool. Rado: You are a material scientist tenured at a prestigious university. You have no interest in watches, but could not pass up the mystery and wonder of a watch that never scratches. Everything from your pots to your pants are coated in Teflon. Raymond Weil: Are you sure you aren’t wearing a Maurice Lacroix with Roman numerals? RGM Watch Co: You are a 62-year old Boomer living in Pittsburgh, PA. As you are retired - with pension - from your job as a chemical engineer for US Steel, you have plenty of time to hobnob on Timezone.com. You post multiple photos of your 801-COE in various lights, to the eager approval of all twelve forums members. You can’t tell anyone, but you voted for Donald Trump. Richard Mille: If you weren’t an American billionaire, you’d probably be buying an Invicta - with the logos removed, you surely couldn’t tell the difference. You make sure to wear your watch when interviewed by Fortune, with the sleeves of your silk Dolce & Gabana shirt rolled up. Roger Dubuis: You are a Argentinian Striker, recently relocated to the UK with Manchester United. Stacy, your loyal WAG, got you the Excalibur after you instructed your assistant to leave notes around your Wilmslow mansion with explicit purchasing instructions. All involved acted surprised on your birthday. If you are being honest, you sometimes confuse it with your Richard Mille. Roger W. Smith: You are the scion of a Japanese telecommunications fortune. You love discussing horology, but only online. You are that unusual combination of billionaire and introvert, perhaps due to your secret insecurity in your own abilities. You fantasize about how one day, Otuo-San will notice your Series 2, and nod approvingly at you with his tight-lipped grimace. In your own quiet way, this is how you show off. Rolex - Sub (Ha!) Type A: ROLEX ROLEX ROLEX. YOU CAN’T BUY ANYTHING BUT A ROLEX IT’S THE ONLY THING WITH RESALE VALUE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY TWO-TONE SUB WITH THE CYCLOPS? I LIKE IT ‘CAUSE IT HAS WRIST PRESENCE. Rolex - Sub Type B: You frequently re-watch all Sean Connery Bond films, asserting that Daniel Craig is not a “real” Bond. You know the difference between the 1016 Caliber 1560 and 1016 Caliber 1570. You believe steel can stretch with minimal effort. You prefer watches with rusted dials and no date. As you frequently speak full sentences consisting solely of reference numbers, it is assumed by passerby that you work for a secretive government agency. Rolex - Sub Type C: You are a successful Italian-American contractor. You wear a two-tone Datejust - your only watch - which never leaves your wrist. On vacation at the resort in Cabo, you make sure your wrist is angled properly so the waiter can see it when taking your order. Rolex - Sub Type D: When you found out your wife was pregnant, you rushed to purchase a "birth year" Sub. Your son will not get to wear it until you are dead. Rolex - Sub Type E: You are a researcher who spends all day next to an MRI machine. While you never wore a watch before, you found yourself suddenly desperate for one after seeing an eerily personalized ad for the Millgauss pop up on Facebook. After the initial triumphant forum pic, the novelty wore off, and most days you just check the wall clock. Romain Jerome: You have no compunctions wearing a watch made from the Titanic. You have more money than sense. Scuderia Ferrari: Your friends know not to utter the word “Lamborghini” for fear of starting a rant. Your firstborn son is named Enzo. Your Pilota watch, Ferarri ball-cap, keychain, and limited edition Scuderia Ferrari for Ray-Ban aviators all proudly accompany you as you step into your 2004 Honda Civic. Seagull: It took quite a few shifts at the Dairy Queen, but you finally got your Ocean Star. You feel like you need a dress piece too, but are unsure when you’d ever wear it. One day, with a JLC on your wrist, you will look back upon this time wistfully. Seiko: You are starting college this Fall. You spend most days on watch forums, hoping to find newbies asking for help so that you can steer them your way. You think the Seiko 5 is the best value per dollar in horology. Deep down, you know that if you ever won the lottery, you’d trash them all for a stable of platinum Langes. Sekonda: On the way to a job interview as a Transport of London station cleaner, you decide a watch will make you look more reliable. You grab the cheapest Sekonda Classic from Mr. Singh’s newsstand, and make sure to check it copiously during your interview. You are surprised when you do not get the job. Changing the dead battery three days later, you are puzzled by the Cyrlic writing inside the case. Shinola: You are a Clinton, or an oddly proud Detroit native. You think the “Made in the USA” controversy was a hit job egged on by Hodinkee. You have average sized wrists, but think they are larger than they really are. You have a weakness for wire lugs. Sinn: You are subscribed to the WatchBuys newsletter. You cannot afford an IWC. You post numerous photos of your Sinn 356 Flieger, in a vain attempt to reassure yourself that the acrylic crystal was the right choice. Skagen: You drive a used but well loved Volvo. While you know nothing about watches, you found it cumbersome to check your dumb phone for the time, and began your search for something practical but affordable. As you know the quickest shortcut to get to the cafeteria at your local IKEA - where you get the meatballs weekly - an ostensibly Danish watch held some appeal. You are unaware that Denmark and Sweden are different countries. Speake-Marin: ”A touch loud? What do you mean, leopard print pants with a leather jacket is loud?” Squale: You cannot afford a Rolex Submariner. Steinhart: You could not afford a Rolex or IWC. While you truly enjoy wearing your Hulk Sub homage, deep-down, you question where the line is between imitation and theft. Stowa: You enjoy having an altimeter strapped to your wrist, but cannot afford an IWC. You would love to mention its WWII history, but are unsure how to do so without appearing insensitive. Stührling: American Airlines flight 1257, direct to Dallas, seat 48B. Two hours in, You saw the Depthmaster in the pages of SkyMall and knew you couldn't pass it up. Swatch: You are a child in elementary school, or a successful, established artist. You love color. You have a watch collection, but they are all Swatches. You wish you could buy another one of the Irony whose crystal cracked when you dropped it on your kitchen floor. Swiss Legend: You could’ve bought the Esq. brand chrono - with the same Chinese Quartz movement - for $139, but then it would’t say “Swiss” on the dial, would it? Tag Heuer: Your first “real” watch was a Link, which you initially saw in the pages of Golf Digest/Tennis Magazine. For the longest time, you had a crush on Maria Sharapova. The chip on your shoulder is slightly lessened when you see photos of vintage Carreras online. Timex: You are a senior citizen, or an aspiring US presidential candidate. In either case, your grandson is suddenly asking to borrow your watch. Tissot: You just got your first job out of college, but it pays less than the Longines fellow. You appreciate either classic or ridiculously bold design. After a long career, you will one day own a Rolex. Triwa: You are a full-time Instagram influencer. Perhaps one day, you will regret the purchase of your Donald Trump “Comb Over” watch - but not today. Tudor: You assert that the Black Bay 58 is what Rolex “used to be”. You take pride in the quality of the bezel on your Pelagos. You either never will admit, or say all the time, that you wish you had a Rolex. Tutima Glashütte:As the only way to acquire a Lange would be to sell a kidney, you eagerly sought out an alternative still made in your mythical Glashütte. You fancy yourself a sportsman, though this is usually only expressed by the bench press. While you wear your Grand Flieger daily, if pressed, you could not articulate why, exactly, your watch had to be German. Ulysse Nardin - Type 1: What exactly do you think you are, some kind of enthusiast? Ulysse Nardin - Type 2: As soon as you saw the Minute Repeater Voyeur - with a lifelike orgy scene on the dial, complete with moving “parts” - you knew you needed that kind of artistry in your life. Urban Jurgënsen: Was your watch produced by the Swedish Chef? Vacheron Constantin: You think a Calatrava is an ugly duckling compared to the all-encompassing beauty of a Patrimony. You refer to the period from 1987 - 1996 as “the Dark Times”. You wish resale value were higher, but blame Patek fanboys. Various Microbrands: You are subscribed to the “Affordable Watches” forum on WatchUSeek. You have a Google Alert on Kickstarter so you don’t miss the latest limited release. You are saving for a vintage Rolex, which increasingly appears out of reach. You are filled with a mixture of delight and despair when someone asks, "is that a Rolex?" of your Mk II Nassua. You have a love/hate relationship with Jason Lim of Halios. Various Vintage: You are Fred Savage. You think anything over 36mm is garish. While you wear your vintage Omega (original dial, of course) all the time, you have been known to slip on your modern Rolex Sub for the beach. You spend your weekends at estate sales, dreaming of coming across an unrecognized Patek for $150, which you bargain down to a clean $100. Victorinox: After your brief fling with Chinese watches, you decided it was time to step up to Swiss made. You wear your Fieldforce proudly in Econ 101, desperately hoping Brittany will notice it. Plus, you already had the matching backpack. Vostok: You are a value-oriented teen gamer, or an elderly Russian pensioner. You have 9 inch wrists. Zenith: You make half-hour long YouTube videos consisting of you chanting into the camera, “El Primero. El Primero. First Automatic. El Primero.“ You scoff at the JLC 751A as a rushed copy. Deep down, you believe the world is unjust, and fear your brand will never be properly recognized. Zodiac/Doxa: You are a certified Master Scuba Diver Trainer. You smile indulgently at your wealthy tourist clients, who have Submariners and Fifty Fathoms on their wrist. After you've been tipped, you love nothing better than to hand over your SeaWolf/Shark for inspection, casually stating "This baby's been down to 250 feet, no problems. How about yours?" Edit: Adding some more as suggestions. Last batch was: Frederique Constant, Junghans, Hamilton, Nomos, Panerai, Tag, Tissot, Tudor. Also split Invicta into two. Thanks for my first gold and kind words stranger! Edit 2: Some are disappearing when I make edits, re-added Swatch. Edit 3: Added Bell & Ross, Baume et Mercier, Sinn, Various Microbrands. Edit 4: Added Various Vintage. Thanks agin for the gold! Edit 5: Added Glashütte Original, Jaquet Droz, Stowa. Edit 6: Couldn't help myself, added Jacob & Co, Oris, Squale, Zodiac/Doxa. Edit 7: Added Fossil and Michael Kors. Modified Daniel Wellington. My first Platinum, thank you! Edit 8: Added GP and Zenith, split Seiko/Grand Seiko, and added one more Rolex Sub (phrasing!) Type (D). Recognized John Mayer as the Patek expert he really is. Edit 9: Added Movado. Slight tweak to Hamilton. Edit 10: Added Piaget. Edit 11: Added Montblanc, Richard Mille, Shinola, and Steinhart. Edit 12: Added Bremont, Edox/Mido, Parnis. Edit 13: Added Christopher Ward, De Bethune, and MB&F. Modified Frederique Constant. Edit 14: Added Bulova, Franck Muller. Edit 15: Modified Franck Muller, added Marathon. Edit 16: Added Laco (hat tip to Byki!), Maurice Lacroix. Edit 16: Added Swiss Legend. Edit 17: Added Damasko, Dornblüth & Sohn, Garmin, Klasse14, and split Ulysse Nardin into Types 1&2. Edit 17: Added Ball (hat tip to AudiMars and icecityx1221). Clarified that 12 Apollo missions only were manned. Thanks for the sticky Mods! I am humbled. Edit 18: Split Casio into Casio and G-Shock; added Concord and Ebel. Edited Marathon for clarity. Edit 19: Added Bovet, Hermes, HYT, Seagull, and Victorinox. Edit 20: Added Chopard, Corum. Edit 21: Added BVLGARI, Diesel, Glycine new and vintage, and Rolex Sub Type E. Edit 22: Added Chanel, Christiaan Van Der Klaauw, and Rado. Edit 23: Added Apple Watch, H. Moser & Cie, Ochs and Junior, and Scuderia Ferrari. Edit 24: Added Montegrappa Chaos, Romain Jerome, Stürhling Edit 25: Added Azimuth, Certina, Ginault, Graham, Johan Eric, Lip, Sekonda, Skagen. Edit 26: Added Carl F. Bucherer and Nixon. Edit 27: Added Alpina, Meister Singer, and updated Sekonda. Edit 28: Thanks so much for the Gold! Added Cuervo y Sobrinos, Eterna, Hautlence, Grönefeld, Luminox, Moritz Grossman, Speake-Marin, and Triwa. Edit 29: Added Balticus, Burberry, Kobold, and JS Watch Company. Edit 30: Added Lorus, Roger W. Smith, Mühle Glashütte and Tutima Glashütte. Edit 31: Added Fortis, Mondaine, Poljot, RGM Watch Co. and Roger Dubuis. Edit 32: Couldn't help myself. Added Urban Jurgënsen and Manufacture Royale. Thread is archived so no promises, but feel free to message me with any requests. Last updated: 12/07/19 submitted by /u/jooxii to r/WatchesCirclejerk [link] [comments]