Mom Outfits For Graduation High Schools

submitted by /u/whywhateverso to r/LivestreamFail [link] [comments]

I’m 17 and I’ve been living in the US since I was 12 (2022). I became a hijabi the summer before high school. My family made me feel so insecure about my hijab that, as a “hijab,” I was wearing hoodies to school. I kept doing that until a teacher asked me to take it off, thinking I was a bad kid just trying to cause problems. I said no, and she then realized I was wearing it as a hijab. She apologized, supported me, and encouraged me to wear a normal hijab. Eventually, I started doing that. The only style I’ve been wearing since I started wearing the hijab is the one where you just put it on and leave one side hanging in the front and the other thrown to the back. My parents have always hated it. I’ve tried different styles, but none of them seemed to match whatever they wanted. I also started out wearing brown and gray chiffon hijabs, then switched to brown, gray, and black jersey hijabs, and now I mostly wear black jersey with everything. Let me tell you, they HATE it. My dad gets so mad and yells at me about the way I wear my hijab and the color and material I choose. They hate the clothes I wear to the beach and pretty much anywhere we go. I get criticized for everything. I’m genuinely so tired because they’re making everything a lot harder when I’m already not confident. They raised me in a way that left me with very low self-esteem and almost no confidence at all. Ironically, whenever they come to school events and see me looking insecure or lacking confidence, they get mad at me… even though they were yelling at me about my clothing 30 minutes earlier. Now I’m posting this while we’re on our way to the beach. I woke up and got ready. I didn’t want to go in the water, so I wore beige wide-leg linen pants, a lighter beige button-down shirt, and a black hijab. It was a nice outfit, but then my mom got very mad and said, “Who wears button-down shirts to the beach?! And with your hijab and everything, you’re so embarrassing.” Who wears button-down shirts to the beach? Seriously? I never wanted to go to the beach to begin with. And just yesterday, we went to someone’s graduation party that I didn’t even know. I didn’t have anything prepared, so I wore business-casual clothes. My mom got mad, but when we got there I was literally one of the few “children” there. It turned out the graduates were much older and the other kids were family members. I didn’t know a single person there. Then one of my relatives criticized me for wearing a button-down shirt. Please help. I’m so tired of my family and I don’t know what to do. They’re so strict and are making my life feel hard and miserable. I hate how often I find myself wanting to get married just so I can leave this house, but I’m only 17 and I’m planning to go to college and become a doctor. Honestly, I have no idea when they’d even let me get married. Probably around 24… if I even found someone. EDIT: typos submitted by /u/Legitimate-Number620 to r/AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]

Pink sauce cavatappi with shredded parmesan - My mom is half Okinawan, and while she was born and raised in Okinawa, Japan, I grew up in the United States. Her mom (my grandma, or "Oba" as the family called her) moved in with us when I was a baby, so she was basically present for the entirety of my youth and we were very close. I had never been to Okinawa as a child, so she promised to take my mom and I on a trip there once I graduated high school. I lost my Oba two years before my high school graduation, and one year before the start of my senior year. My mom and I still took the trip to Okinawa in July 2025, and even though it was never brought up, I know it was a very bittersweet experience for her. On one hand, this was my first time ever traveling to Okinawa, and we were celebrating my high school graduation; but on the other hand, it was also her first time going back home without her mom. We were in Okinawa for a month, and to put it shortly, I was in love and didn't want to leave. It is such a beautiful island with friendly people, amazing food, and so many things to do and places to explore. On our last day before flying back to America, I was out shopping with my mom and uncle. I was at a store looking at some bags, when an older woman came to look at some too. Her outfit, even down to her hat and purse, reminded me so much of my Oba's style, and after a few moments of browsing, she started speaking to me in Japanese. I am nowhere near fluent in Japanese, but I do know the basic words and phrases. When she realized that I didn't understand her, she asked me "do you speak Japanese?", to which I replied "no, not really." She then started speaking to me in English, and hearing her distinct Okinawan accent felt like rediscovering an old song that I used to love. In that moment, it felt as if my Oba was standing next to me as we looked at bags together. The woman was so sweet and we spoke for a few more minutes until I had to leave. I met up with my mom and uncle afterwards, trying not to cry. I told my mom all about the woman at the bag store, and how so many things about her reminded me of Oba- her clothes, her personality, her voice. When I told her this, I could tell she was also holding back some tears. That's when I looked over and saw the woman standing in the distance, waiting around for me to notice her. I waved and pointed her out to my mom, so my mom and uncle went over and got to meet her as well. On our way back to my uncle's house, my mom said "I think that was Oba's way of saying hi to you." Not a second goes by where I don't miss my Oba. She is one of the strongest people I've ever met, and I'm eternally grateful that I got to spend 16 years of my life with her. My interaction with the woman at the bag store has stuck with me ever since, and I like to think that it was a sign from Oba, letting me know that she had been by my side throughout the entire trip, and that she will always be with me as I continue to grow and navigate life. submitted by /u/OhShesAShapeshifter to r/GirlDinnerDiaries [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Conscious-Weight4569 to r/Wellthatsucks [link] [comments]

(Yes we’re biologically related I look like his twin which makes me hate myself even more) He hates me for being a girl and my entire life, despite living under the same roof, he said probably less than 1000 words to me besides hurling insults at me. I live in a HCOL city and cannot afford to move out. He constantly told me growing up that SOME people are predisposed to being a dumbass, and calls me a stupid bitch all the time despite needing me to help him with stuff. He ruined my high school graduation by screaming and fighting with my mom, refusing to take pictures with me, and that resulted in my mom throwing flowers he bought me reluctantly into the trash. And for my undergrad graduation, he refused to take pictures with me again, and my mother directed her anger towards me of course, and not her adult son. And the pictures taken were of him glaring at me like he wanted to kill me because SHE told him to stand next to me. I remember crying right after I graduated (I had two because I was in two separate programs in college) and both time she called me screaming that I ruined THEIR experience at MY graduation because I sat in the dining halls crying and refusing to eat with them, as happy families around were cheering their children on. I am dreading my masters graduation. Since I hit puberty, his gaze was… always off. I wear extremely baggy clothes and long pajama pants and sweatshirts even in the dead of summer when it’s 100 degrees outside. The only times I ever wear even a t shirt with my arms out is when I’m hanging out with friends. I literally strip off my sweatshirt in their car (we’re not religious or anything). I don’t wear shorts that go above my knees anymore. My friends joke that my collection of dad shorts and jean shorts make me pull up the functions like a butch lesbian every time. I used to wear shorter shorts until recently. Back in high school, he slut shamed me for wearing shorts in front of my family. They were halfway between my knees and butt, below where my fingertips reached. He started telling me that I was disgusting and he saw that when he went to pick me up. I remember clear as day even thought this was ten years ago, that there was a boy in salmon shorts of similar length standing NEXT TO ME in that pickup area. His argument was that “no one was wearing shorts but you which is why I am saying you shouldn’t wear shorts” which was NOT true. I remember screaming at the dinner table I’m going to tell everyone at school you’re a creep tomorrow and my mother hitting me hard on my head and my grandma jumping in to alleviate the situation. Last year, I went out for a jog in my Nike shorts. My legs are fairly short so it wasn’t like they were even that short on me. My dad sat on the porch, taking a call. I ran past him into the garage to get something, and kept seeing him take multiple peeks at my legs, and look down. I felt like throwing up. I felt so sick. And I feel disgusted even typing this out. When I am around him, even with thick sweatshirts on, even when it’s a billion degrees outside, I hunch over to not show any figure. I walk around the house hunched over and I only wear short sleeves around the house in the summer when he leaves. I freeze up when he walks close/behind me. I remember back in high school, there was a parent night, and this beautiful girl in my class was wearing a tube top and was supposed to give the parents in my class a tour. And I wanted to cry because I was so scared for her. I remember breathing a sigh of relief when our teach told us she couldn’t make it that night. My mom complains all the time that I don’t dress “beautifully” like other girls my age and she constantly says “YOUR DAD DOESNT CARE. YOURE OVERTHINKING”. Despite literally hearing creepy comments he’s made about me and other WOMEN my whole life. Once, she was so frustrated that she screamed in the car “WHY DO YOU TREAT YOUR POOR FATHER LIKE THIS? HAS HE SA YOU?!”. I’ve never told anyone and I just.. I feel so sick every time I think about this and I just want to cry. I love traveling because I can wear cutesy outfits overseas as far away from him as possible. Oh and his dad creeps me out too. My grandfather used to treat me really well until my teenage years and I couldn’t view him the same way again after he confirmed that my dad hates me because I’m not a son AND told me once that he could see into the bathroom when I was showering because the “blinds had a gap”. You could only see into the bathroom through the blinds if you literally stood and peeked in through a certain angle (they’re the Home Depot blinds with the drawstring thing that you can pull to flip) and I felt violated and couldn’t view him the same away again. I’m scared to tell people because my family will just accuse me of being a liar. Which is why every time I’m showering, I choose when my dad is the busiest because I’m scared he’ll look in as well (my house is weirdly shaped so his work area looks right at the bathroom window). And whenever he goes outside as I’m in the shower, I die a little bit on the inside. I patch the bathroom window with printer paper and my mother screams that I am mentally insane. I honestly might be. I refuse to date or consider marriage despite being at that age and my mom constantly curses me to find a husband as “loyal and perfect” as hers. I shudder at the idea of having a daughter and allowing her own father to sexualize her. Anyways, ham pizza from Italy. submitted by /u/deadlyparents to r/GirlDinnerDiaries [link] [comments]

Hi all. I honestly wasn’t expecting my last post to get much attention, so thanks for the concern. I haven’t really slept properly since then. My mom called the cops on Tuesday night like I told her to. By the time they got there, she was gone. They told my mom to stay cautious and call again if anything else happened, but she said it was pretty obvious they didn’t really believe her. Honestly, she’s the only person in my life who fully believes me right now, and even then, she doesn’t think it’s actually my friend doing all this. My mom grew up in North Georgia back in the eighties and keeps insisting it’s some kind of entity trying to imitate me. She’s told me vaguely similar stories before, all your typical Appalachian tall tales and legends. I don’t know if I believe that. I think it’s easier for me to accept the idea that there’s something very, very wrong with my friend than whatever that would entail. Still, it’s nice having at least one person who isn’t treating me like a psych patient. I haven’t really been in contact with any of my friends for the past few days. I muted most of my notifications and have been trying to avoid anything that reminds me of what happened. I’m not proud of it, but I made the mistake of checking her Instagram after my post yesterday afternoon. The recent posts are the most obvious. Outfits that almost perfectly mirror mine, the same poses, eerily similar captions. It feels like looking at some alternate reality version of myself. The more I stared at her pictures, the more familiar everything about her started to feel. Even her face. If I looked too long, it almost became difficult to tell where some of my features ended and hers began. That part made me feel sick. When I scrolled further back, I realized this had been happening for much longer than I thought. At first it was subtle. The earliest post I can confidently pin it to is from August of 2022, a couple months after we graduated high school. She was at the same restaurant I’d posted from a few weeks earlier. After that, it started escalating slowly. Similar hairstyles. Similar clothes. Eventually she started doing her eyeliner the way I do mine. Dark brown instead of black, blended slightly under the eye towards the outer corner. It honestly doesn’t suit her eye shape very well. The only difference is that there are almost never other people in her posts. I’ll find a picture from one of my nights out with friends, then find her version a week or two later in almost the same exact outfit and pose. Except she’s completely alone. Some of them are obviously taken with timers. The more candid ones were probably taken by her boyfriend. Other than him, I’m not really sure she has anybody. I started noticing something worse. Something that made me wish I had never looked at all. Sometimes she posts first. A picture at the botanical garden. Another one down by the river. Both almost identical to mine: same framing, same outfit, same pose. The only difference is that hers were uploaded almost a week before mine. I actually had to stop and check the timestamps multiple times because I was so sure I was remembering it wrong. I closed the app and opened my notifications. They’d been piling up for days now. Between stacks of Amazon sales and bank statements, I started noticing strange texts from friends. Daniella had asked if I was okay because apparently I’d texted her at three in the morning asking her strange questions about identity. I asked her what she meant and she sent me screenshots. Most of the messages had been unsent, but one of them was still there. “when do u think someone stops being themself” Sydney had texted me asking why I kept unsending messages on Snapchat. I answered her. She replied quickly. Apparently, “I” had been texting her on Snapchat earlier that morning asking weirdly specific questions about the way I was in high school. If she remembered what shampoo I had used, or whether I still smoked American Spirit blacks. If I still wore the same perfume. She told me when she answered, the messages disappeared almost immediately. I turned my phone off. I had a shift in the morning and I didn’t want to work myself up over this. I was scared, obviously, but I was still kind of hoping maybe this would all blow over and she would fade into the background again. When I went to work this morning, I tried to put it all out of my mind. There were more customers today and less quiet moments for the dread to creep up on me. Until my first smoke break, at least. One of my coworkers came up to me while I was heading outside to light up. She said I’d followed her from a second Instagram account sometime last month, she’d been meaning to bring it up to me but kept forgetting. The account had my name spelled slightly differently. There were only a few posts, all blurry pictures of places I recognized immediately. My apartment complex from outside at night. The Dunkin’ we used to go to when we skipped classes. The park by her parents’ house. My coworker told me she blocked and reported it because the account kept watching every single story she posted within seconds. She said it didn’t feel like me. I thanked her and took my break. I sat down on the curb and lit up a cigarette. I kept fidgeting with the pack. American Spirit blacks. When I started smoking in high school, I had always bought the blue pack. She was still stealing cigarettes from her older brothers. They only smoked blacks. I switched in sophomore year because the blacks tasted more like her. I always thought it had been the other way around. I started thinking about other things now. The hot pink GRRRL-POWER! shirt I had begged my mom to buy me in third grade after I saw her wearing it. Her little phrases I picked up here and there. I started wearing glittery eyeshadow on my inner corners around the end of high school because I liked how it looked on her. Had I been the one to pierce my nose first, or had she? I know I said it had been me in my last post, but I genuinely can’t remember anymore. I think maybe I liked matching with her too. submitted by /u/brunett3babyd0ll to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

Name: Marcia Sébastienne Grayson Pronounced: Mar-Sha, See-Bah-Stein Gray-Son Mother: Nolynn Grayson/Omniwoman Pronounced: Nol-een Gray-son Father: Devon Grayson Mentor: The Immortal Hero Friend’s: Atom Steve, Bex Splode Best friend: William The Beginning, Arc— {Age—Event} 14– First gained powers, found out while doing her high school job cleaning at burger mart when she threw a trash bag into space. 15– Faced first “Villain”, Titanica (Titan). While she was running from a bank robbery as hired muscle. At the time just like the show Marcia was in a makeshift outfit. Her mother found her in such a state and proud to see her daughters strength took her to get her first costume designed Used an elephant man as training while saving a meat packaging plant from him. Mother coached her and gave her the idea that Marcia was “Invincible” thus sparking the suit. Immortal joined Nolynn and Marcia when she got the suit who’s blue tones were borrowed from him and the yellow she felt made her pop and was more inspiring than her mothers red and black. 16- Faced Doc, Seismic alongside Atom Steve, saving Mount Rushmore faster than mainstream Mark. Though still wasn’t fast enough to catch him from falling into the earth she was more than fast enough to escape the rising lava with Steve in her arms. Around this time she would start her romance with Amber after a rather awkward and restarted call. 17- After three years spent training with the guardians and her mother, fighting crime and proving herself it would all come to a head when Nolynn decided the long game was over. Marcia was more than proving her Viltrumite heritage so the guardians had to go, originally trying to bargain with Immortal after he stood as the last inevitably she would decapitate him after he smashed his fists over her ears curving her to collapse spent. Nolynn hospitalized, guardians dead the flaxians invaded and it was this time that Marcia finally left without any oversight from Immortal or her mother. For the first time she acted as her own hero alongside Teen Team. Took up her mom’s job and went to space to fight Alice the Alien, turned out to be quite the nice conversation instead and gave Marcia a new appreciation of the earth. After the few odd jobs and more “intensive” training with her mom post recovery, she now speaks on Viltrum more, Marcia would take up her mom’s place going to Mars. Which plays out about as well as the show beyond when it came time to leave since she has been honing her strength she was able to fly the ship out as they got the instruments ready. With tensions high Marcia decided that after hearing how great Upstate University was she would take Amber. The college incident insues as normal but would result in Marcia and Amber to break up fully and entirely. 18– Just barely past her 18th birthday her mom is confronted by her dad Devon about the murders, like the show Nolynn goes haywire and ends up fighting Marcia. Chicago was hit the worst, but the fight was felt across the world and ended with Marcia in the hospital and Nolynn taking off into space. After recovering Amber while worried still stays away, Marcia goes on to continue to help but hesitates at times fearing her own strength and anger. Mostly helping rebuild what she broke. Eventually would go out as a hero again following Cecil, where she discover the mauler twins doing something funky at an abandoned nuclear bunker with a human Christmas tree of the same guy. As soon as she was winning they escaped through a portal(into mainland universe the two women maulers we see). Seeing this and the machine sparking worse Marcia would move as fast as she could, far faster than her mother but not quite a red rush… yet… to not only cut off power but retrieve the men… all of them the same as the last was the most confusing part. Thankfully the portal that connected it somewhere closed and as the machine blew up she had successfully moved most far enough away though some did suffer the blast… she would never forget this moment… Marcia being much faster than mainstream mark, she was able to defeat Doc. Seismic far before he was able to destroy the Washington monument. Easily making it to her Highschool graduation on time which also meant more boring speech to sit through. submitted by /u/Grizzily-404 to r/invinciblecool [link] [comments]

I 24F graduate in August with my Bachelor’s in Business Administration. College has not been an easy process , but i finished a year earlier than planned by putting in extra work , i also have a 4.0 GPA . Throughout college i have been pregnant while raising a toddler , so a full time mom , full time student , while being a full time worker also. No one on my mom’s side has ever graduated college so I will be the first . So as you can see I feel like I should be excited about me graduating in a few months instead I’m met with disappointment. When I first started college about 4 months in my mom made a comment saying “oh you haven’t quit yet “ when I was talking about schooling and my grades as if I was expected to have given up already . Which was weird because I’ve always been a top student even in high school , so the comment made me feel weird but I brushed it off . When I told my mom my graduation was coming up on a ft call back in December, she’s pretended she didn’t hear me then said she was busy and would call me back . That hurt my feelings, especially when she never called back or even mentioned me graduating again until about a month later when I mentioned I would need her to watch my kids while I went to graduate . Excuses then started to be made about how she wanted to “surprise me “ for my graduation and show up and how she doesn’t know if watching the kids will fit into her schedule. Remind you , I will only be gone for one day . I found this weird because if you wanted to surprise me , you would need to know the location, time , and other details , she never once asked about anything , so I felt like this was just a cover up to say she couldn’t watch my kids . Now here I am four months away from graduation and I am excited planning things and the people around me seem as if I’m a burden . That’s where my bf of three years come into play . He doesn’t ask me about school , when I speak about it doesn’t show interest , never has told me he’s proud of me or anything which does hurt. When I was talking about the graduation I was talking about plane tickets and my outfit and how I wanted my hair, his response was cool as long as I don’t have to pay for anything . And it’s not because he doesn’t have money , he make a good amount of money. It’s because he doesn’t find this important . It’s “my thing” so if I wanna go it should be on me , if not watch it online. Idk I’m at the point where I just want to exclude everyone and get on the plane and go celebrate my accomplishment alone . Which is sad because I should be surrounded by family and love instead here I am , would I be the asshole to go by myself ? submitted by /u/Dry_Yogurtcloset_245 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

So I (24F) am getting married next spring to my high school sweetheart (24M). We got together in our sophomore year and have been together ever since. We’re both still friends with a lot of people we went to school with and since we’re HS sweethearts, we both thought it would be nice to include some of those friends in our wedding party! He picked three friends, plus his two brothers, and I also picked three friends, a friend from college, and my sister. I had originally planned for my sister to be my MOH, but she’s currently experiencing some health issues and isn’t up for the responsibilities that entails. So I asked the rest of my bridal party if they’d like to take on the role, and one of my high school friends, we’ll call her Emma (23F) volunteered. She’s one of the smartest people I know, is firm but fair, and has experience with event planning, so it seemed like a perfect fit! For the first few months of planning, Emma was a massive help in picking out a venue and our vendors. She even helped us haggle for a slightly lower price with our florist, which we really needed. But then we started figuring out wedding party attire and that’s where things got complicated. Emma and I were getting lunch to go over some ideas for bridesmaid dresses and she asked me about the possibility of her wearing a suit instead. I wasn’t entirely surprised, since Emma is openly bisexual and wore a suit to our senior prom. But the issue is that my family is very Catholic and my fiancé’s family, while not as religious, is also Christian, and I have no doubt that they would be very upset if my maid of honor showed up in a suit. I think it’s ridiculous (for extra context, I am also bi, but I am not, and probably never will be, out to my family. I am out to my friends, including Emma, and my fiancé, who has always been supportive) but my mom and stepdad are helping pay for a portion of the wedding, including wedding party attire, so I was apprehensive when Emma made her request. I told her I’d think about it and if it wouldn’t work, then she could pick whatever maid of honor dress she wanted. She was satisfied with this answer and we kept on planning. About a week later, I decided that screw it, Emma should get to wear her suit, and together we picked out a really nice one that matched nicely with the bridesmaid dress options. Emma was very excited about this… up until we showed the rest of the party (who had given us permission to pick out options without their input, since there’s a lot of them). My HS friends were cool about it, since they’ve also known Emma since then, but my college friend and my sister were… less enthused. CF made a comment about it breaking the cohesion of the group, which personally I’m not bothered about, and my sister was very quiet for the rest of the planning session. A few days go by and then I get a call from my mom. A very angry call from my mom. As it turns out, my sister had lunch with her that day and told her “what I was planning” and yelled at me for daring to spend her money on something so wrong “in the eyes of the Lord”. I calmly pointed out that we are not having our ceremony in a Catholic venue that has that kind of dress code (we are instead having it at a gorgeous botanical garden that Emma helped us pick out) and that she has known Emma since we were 11 and that this shouldn’t come as a surprise to her either. She started ranting about how she’s “always known that Emma was a bad influence” as well as some very unpleasant comments about Emma’s bisexuality. It ended off with her saying that I had to either make Emma wear a dress or kick her from my bridal party entirely if I wanted to keep her (mom’s) funding for the wedding. I told her I would handle it and hung up. In the week or so since that call, I’ve done a couple of things. One, I told Emma everything and informed her that I’d be buying her suit myself, which she was very touched by. She offered to cover it (which she had done in the first place too; we are American, so my family covering the cost of the wedding party outfits is very non-traditional, but my stepdad has what Emma would call “fuck you money” so that was part of my requests when they offered to cover a few things) but I insisted. Two, I invited my sister over for lunch and had the nicest possible conversation I could with her about why she felt the need to tell our mom about it. She started talking about how mom just wants me to have the perfect wedding under the Lord, since she didn’t get to have that with either of her marriages, and that allowing Emma to be my MOH was already bad enough, but allowing her to wear a suit was a bridge too far, too sinful. I told my sister that was ridiculous, as Emma’s love life and fashion choices have zero bearing on the ceremony or the event as a whole (she isn’t dating anyone currently, so it’s not like she’d be “flaunting” a girlfriend in front of my family) and that after all she’s done to help with planning, the least I can do is let her wear the kind of outfit she wants to wear. My sister did not take that well at all. She claimed that I was throwing her stepping down from being MOH in her face and that she wouldn’t have asked for any “special privileges” if she was still my MOH. To be clear, if any of my bridesmaids asked to wearing a suit instead of a dress, I would have said yes after some consideration just like I did for Emma. I denied her claims, obviously, and tried to wrap up the conversation as peacefully as I could, since I didn’t want to work my sister up any more than I already had, given her health issues. She ended up storming out and while it seems that she hasn’t brought it to our mom again, she has continued to bombard me with texts telling me that I was making a mistake and that I shouldn’t allow this to happen and that if I did, she wouldn’t be part of my bridal party anymore. So, that brings me to my current dilemma. I don’t want to back down on letting Emma wear what she wants. She’s been my friend for the longest of anyone in the party, minus my sister, and I want to support her. But I also don’t want to lose my sister as part of the bridal party. My fiancé has suggested I bite the bullet and remove my sister myself, but I’m worried that will turn the situation into even more of a mess than if she leaves herself. I’m also very concerned about my mom and stepdad’s reaction when this inevitably reaches them, because while we’re handling a lot of the cost of this ourselves, we factored in their financial support from the beginning and may have to start from zero again if they revoke it. I’m posting here at my fiancé’s suggestion. So… am I the a-hole for refusing to make my MOH wear a dress? EDIT: Thank you to everyone for your lovely comments (and to the mods for re-approving me, being mistaked for AI is a new experience for me 😅). To clear some things that've been mentioned a few times up; yes my mom (not my sister) is on her second marriage and she and my dad divorced. I am painfully aware of her hypocrisy when it comes to Catholic tradition there. We clashed about it more when I was younger, about the time I realized I'm bi and had a crisis of faith (freshmen and sophomore years of HS, before I met my fiancé), but the dust had settled by the time I graduated and we've repaired our relationship in the years since. This is the first big blow-up we've had since that time. While I still consider myself to be Christian, it's with far less fervor than I did pre-crisis, which is why we're not having the wedding in a Catholic church. I didn't even know my mom and sister were hung up on me having a "traditional Catholic ceremony" until this whole situation. To those saying my mom is trying to live through me with this... that is unfortunately consistent with her past behavior and I wish I'd have anticipated it sooner. As for my sister, this is very new behavior from her, which is part of why I'm so torn. I don't think speaking with my stepdad in this situation would help, sadly. He is as devout as my mom, much more conservative, and would probably pull his financial support immediately upon learning Emma is bi (I don't think he's aware currently). And, since I know people will ask, yes I'm still in contact with my dad, he just lives several states away and hasn't been very involved with the wedding planning as a result. He'll be attending and thankfully is a lot more open in his views that my mom. The idea of starting from scratch on planning is really intimidating, but I see the point everyone is making and it is a sound one. My fiancé and I will talk about it over the next few days and see how we feel. It may be for the best. submitted by /u/bridesophietthowaway to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

mom (57F) gave me (30F) graduation gift 3 months after i graduated nursing school. she kept saying she was sending me my gift but it just never came, until... on the phone the other day she was bragging about getting my girl cousin and really pretty dress and a bunch of other things for her high school graduation. i said “wow, i haven’t even got anything from you!” to which she said “what?? i dropped that off weeks ago. i’ll check the tracking.” then she proceeded to try to gossip about my kid cousin, the same mentioned above and was picking apart her body, her face, her outfit in an innocent picture that my cousin sent her. i politely told her i don’t want to talk about this person like that and the convo was promptly ended by her. two days later, i get a package in the mail. i open it - it’s a faux chanel purse, and it’s a bad one. I’m not even against fakes but this one is truly not even close to good quality. also, she USED the thing!! it’s fully been worn in and the corners are bent. she also gave me a puzzle. i have never have had an interest in puzzles whatsoever. no card. i’m not sure why but it felt like just a bizarre gift. i want to give her the benefit of the doubt but she spends tons of money on herself. this is definitely a pattern, she has always given me hand-me-downs of hers as gifts or items she waited to long to return after deciding she didn’t like them. she also gives me old candy (i’m talking expired for years). would i be the a****** if i just told her that was an odd gift? it’s truly been bothering me. and the no card thing from my own mother on my COLLEGE GRADUATION is just a little weird. A little bit of background here: she lives at her parents colorado home with no bills. She gets a healthy alimoney check from my father, her ex, monthly, and has for 10 years. she doesn’t work. she is obsessed with how people view her, always has to drive a nice car, wear nice clothes and won’t leave the house without makeup on and done up to some degree. she had told me to go to med school all throughout my nursing school journey and prior. TLDR: my mom sent me a used faux chanel purse as grad gift 3 months later and i am not sure if i should just be gracious and thank her kindly, or start a war titled “Chanel-gate.” submitted by /u/Computer_Altruistic to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

My (18) boyfriend (19) and I have been dating for going on 2.5 years. He's a nice guy; he treats me well, compliments me, and checks up on me every now and again. Theres only one thing: he has no ambition. Since we've been together, he's lost his only job, sells and smokes weed daily, and has gotten a very shortened temper, especially without any video games or the aforementioned weed. He doesn't take care of himself like he used to, usually smelling like weed, sweat, or a combination of the two and always cycling through the same 2 outfits on our dates. Once, when he was over, my mom asked him what his plans are for the future and his response was, and I quote, "To make food and play video games". I get being in a rough patch, but this rough patch has been going on since he lost his job which was a little over a year ago. Whenever I ask him about what he plans to do he always says something vague like "I'll apply for jobs," or "I'm taking a gap year," he never has a concrete idea of what he wants to do. I've tried to help, giving him resources to job fairs, scholarships, financial grants, etc. and my family has to. He just doesn't take it. Additionally, I feel as if I have to compete with my own best friend for his attention. We've been friends with the same girl since my freshman year of high school (I've been friends with her since I was 12) and every other day he's hanging out with her, even staying over her house for multiple nights in a row. Sure, they sometimes FaceTime me while they're together, but the amount of inside jokes and secrets (especially regarding me) they share behind my back annoys me. I can see why they mesh so well, he sells weed to her family members, and she doesn't care that he smokes. Doesn't make me any less bitter though. He's always there for her: her birthday, prom, her graduation; he was there for it all. Me? He constantly forgets my birthday, forgot my graduation, and didn't bother to go to prom with me. There's a lot of things I want to get into but can't for the sake of time. Like the fact he beat a stranger for looking at him funny. Or him joking about he'd hurting my brothers if I broke up with him. Or when he BEGS me to have sex with him when I tell him no. It's a lot. I hate to say it, but I think I'm falling out of love with him. Everything I listed just turns me off. It pains be because hes a sweet guy and he's my first boyfriend. What will I do with him? What will our friends think? Will I make things awkward? I don't know what to do. submitted by /u/Opposite-Law1541 to r/WhatShouldIDo [link] [comments]

“Few Details Are Available In His Case” I first became interested in the disappearance of Derran Conway Rogers several years ago when I was looking up local missing persons cases. Last year, on a forum, I came across a fellow participant who claimed to know Derran’s youngest brother Shaun. Before I knew it I was on the phone with Shaun for the first of many hours; eventually I connected with Derran's sister Leila as well. With each conversation I learned more about Derran and how he came to be one of the many missing persons on Charley Project whose story ended with the sad phrase “Few details are available in his case.” And along the way we discovered that one of those few details is almost certainly wrong. I have taken nearly a dozen pages of notes over the last year and will be happy to try to answer any reader follow-up questions. For any content creators out there - Shaun would love to see coverage of Derran's case and I will gladly put interested parties in touch with him. Time may be running out to find the truth, but no matter what Derran deserves to be remembered and his story told. With that, let's dive into the tragic story of the disappearance of Derran Conway Rogers. Derran Derran Conway Rogers was born August 30, 1959, the oldest son of Wayburn Sr. and Dessie Mae Rogers. Though he was born with a heart murmur and partial blindness in his left eye everyone remembers him as a healthy, active child. He was soon joined by younger siblings Bret, Wayburn Jr., Leila, and Shaun. The Rogers were close in every sense – the family of seven packed into a small ranch-stye home where the four boys shared a bedroom outfitted with two sets of bunk beds. They made their home in Modesto, then a small city in California’s Central Valley, where they were surrounded by numerous aunts and uncles who regularly visited the Rogers home for their famous poker nights. It was by all accounts a happy childhood. The first time I spoke to Shaun I asked him if Derran really stood 6'0; this would be extremely tall for a 13-year-old. He laughed and told me the height was probably right, even texting me photographic proof: at his middle school graduation Derran does indeed tower over other family members. Disappearance Leila, Derran’s then 11-year-old-sister, remembers her brother coming into the kitchen already fully dressed the day he vanished – unusual as the children typically ate breakfast in their pajamas and none of the other children were even awake yet. He told his mother he was headed to school early to hang out with his friends before the first bell rang. Nine-year-old Shaun, Derran’s youngest sibling, recalls first being surprised at Derran’s absence that morning, then the absence of Derran’s friends at the bus stop adjacent to the family home. While the high school boys did not take the school bus they met there every day prior to traveling to Downey High School on foot. Derran’s parents were almost immediately alarmed when he did not come home at the end of the school day - though the Rogers children enjoyed the freedom typical of the era they were expected to go directly home after school to do their chores. As their worry grew Wayburn Sr. and Bret (the second oldest of the Rogers children) drove around looking for him until 11:00 that night, concern mounting as the hours passed and friend after friend said they hadn’t seen Derran. Leila and Shaun are certain it was at most a day or two before police were called but they believe it may have been as early as that night. Leila does not recall any specifics other than police being at the family home, but Shaun has a vivid memory of officers sitting at the kitchen table with his parents soon after Derran vanished. He recalls the officers telling them that Derran had run away to San Francisco (about 90 miles away from Modesto), and Wayburn Sr. growing angry and pounding the table with his fist while yelling at them that his son wouldn’t be in San Francisco. The police remained unconvinced, and whether they pursued any other theories is unknown. Runaway? Leila recalls a classmate of Derran’s reported that she had been hanging out with him outside the perimeter of Downey High School the morning he disappeared. They were smoking cigarettes when two men she described only as “older” drove up and greeted Derran. Before he got into their vehicle – described as a Ford Mustang painted in gray primer - he told the classmate that he was going to “the city” (in Modesto, even today, this is universally understood to mean San Francisco) and asked her to “cover” for him with the school that morning. The classmate reported this encounter to school administrators in the days after Derran’s disappearance; they in turn relayed her account to Dessie Mae and Wayburn Sr. Derran had also been caught “huffing” a substance – possibly gasoline - in the family garage the day before his disappearance. This wasn’t the first time Derran had been caught huffing, and he had also been caught several times in recent months with alcohol and marijuana. The straightlaced Wayburn Sr. - who never so much as drank alcohol himself - tolerated (but never liked) Derran growing his hair long and wearing bell bottoms, but he drew a firm line at substance use. Both Leila and Shaun recall hearing Derran and Wayburn Sr. yelling back and forth in the garage for some time the night before Derran vanished; after they stopped Leila recalls her father walking back into the house and telling her mother “I think I hurt him.” Derran did not appear at the dinner table with the rest of the family that night, and neither sibling remembers seeing him again before their bedtime. Sightings With the Modesto Police Department unwilling to help it fell on loved ones to look for Derran. Classmates reported seeing Derran around town, and the family often dropped everything to go to the areas of the reported sightings - each time leaving feeling as though they were chasing a ghost. Both Leila and Shaun remember their father and older brothers driving around Modesto night after night looking for Derran in the months following his disappearance. Once Wayburn Sr. even kicked down the front door of the home of one of Derran's friends after hearing frequent tips and rumors associated with the location - only to find a frightened group of teens and no sign of Derran. Shaun remembers his father all but interrogating every friend of Derran he encountered in town; despite this aggressive questioning he never turned up new information. As time passed Leila believes that both of her parents eventually came to believe Derran had run away. Maybe due to the account of Derran willingly leaving for San Francisco, or because of the frequent sightings that never led to anything. Maybe because any alternative was too awful to think about. Life Goes On As the months turned into years and the family begrudgingly accepted the police theory that Derran had run away, they began settling into a “new normal”. Eventually they moved to a new house with a swimming pool in nearby Ceres, CA. Leila believes that as the years passed and Derran didn’t get back in touch their mother began to believe that something terrible had happened. Though the family had moved and changed their phone number (they were required to do so due to relocating to a new city), they were still geographically close to their old home, and still in contact with the relatives and even most of the friends Derran would have known to contact in their absence. In the decades that followed tragedy continued to strike the Rogers family – Derran’s brother Wayburn Jr. died of colon cancer in 1997 at only 35 years old, then Bret of liver disease in 2002 at only 41. Case (Re)Opened While Derran’s family had long fallen out of touch with the Modesto Police Department they always believed that there was an open missing person’s case, even if sat in the back of a filing cabinet and said he had run away. That changed in 2005, all because Derran’s youngest brother Shaun stayed home sick from work and watched a television show where DNA was used to identify a Jane Doe. When the episode ended Shaun immediately called his parents and, after he explained the new technology, found they were both eager to submit a sample. Excited about the possibility of finally having answers and having difficulty navigating the Modesto Police Department’s phone tree, a few days later Shaun drove his parents to the Modesto Police Department to offer their DNA in person. The drive from Wayburn Sr. and Dessie Mae’s home – now for many years in Manteca, about 20 miles north of Modesto – started out with hope and excitement none of them had felt for decades. This hope was quickly dashed when no one could find a missing person’s report for Derran. Search after search turned up no result. To this day no one in the Rogers family knows whether Derran’s case file was lost over the years, closed and eventually purged at some point, or never actually filed by the police to begin with. Investigators now had 30 years of lost time to make up. There was nothing left to reliably dust for Derran’s fingerprints, but Wayburn Sr. and Dessie Mae were swabbed for DNA. Police subpoenaed Derran’s social security number and found it had never been used. Progress and updates quickly slowed and Wayburn Sr. grew so angry with the police one day that he threatened to go to the media and tell the world of their incompetence. He backed down when investigators told him that doing so may compromise the integrity of their investigation. Derran’s disappearance made its first appearance in the Modesto Bee the following year, a short blurb in the “Crime Stoppers” section. Derran’s mom, Dessie Mae, died of cancer in 2008; his father Wayburn Sr. in 2011. Shaun will never forget his father’s words as he entered hospice care shortly before his death: “It’s time I was with your mom and your three brothers again.” It was unbearably sad to hear Wayburn Sr., for the first time, acknowledge that his firstborn son was probably dead. Family Rumors In the years after his parent’s deaths several of Shaun's maternal relatives began sharing their suspicions of Wayburn Sr. One aunt told him that she and his grandmother knew Wayburn Sr. had something to do with Derran’s disappearance, telling him that his father “went overboard” and Derran was “in concrete” at the family home in Modesto. Another aunt (by marriage) told Shaun that she too believed Wayburn Sr. had murdered Derran and concealed his body in concrete (Leila and Shaun recall extensive work being done on their backyard, including concrete, when they were children - Leila believes that the work was completed prior to Derran's disappearance, Shaun thinks it was after). Leila dismissed the rumors outright; Shaun was skeptical but did report his relative’s suspicions to police. Only one of the relatives agreed to speak to authorities; after one interview in 2013 she refused all follow-up requests. Though the fight Wayburn Sr. and Derran had the night before he vanished ended on a seemingly ominous note in light of what happened, Leila and Shaun agree: the Rogers home was not a violent one, and any physical discipline they received was mild and typical of the era. Leila is also certain she saw Derran leave the house in good health the morning after his fight with Wayburn Sr. Then there were the lengths Wayburn Sr. went to finding Derran that first year - driving endless hours every night and chasing down every reported sighting and literally kicking down doors. If he were guilty and the police were going to ignore the case anyway why stage an endless charade of looking for his son? Perhaps more troubling to the siblings: if Wayburn Sr. killed Derran there was little chance Dessie Mae did not know. They lived in a small home; Wayburn Sr. went to work every day like clockwork for his 7am to 3pm shift (including, they believe, the day Derran vanished), and any late-night attempt to conceal the body of his 6’0 tall son was unlikely to escape Dessie Mae’s notice. Why had she seemed perfectly normal that morning if she knew her son was dead? Recent Search In 2021 police used ground-penetrating radar to search the Modesto home; they found nothing anomalous in any of the areas they searched. In the years following Derran’s disappearance subsequent homeowners had added hundreds of square feet to the living area; Shaun believes that the concrete poured in the 1970’s now sits under part of these additions. The homeowners had granted police permission to use the ground penetrating radar but balked at more invasive searches. Our Discovery: Derran Conway Rogers Disappeared in April 1974, Not February 1973 Derran was a student at Downey High School when he disappeared. When I first began looking into the case I wondered why he, at 13 years old, was already midway through his freshman year of high school. Derran’s birthday is at the end of August, meaning if the date of disappearance were correct, he would have completed his freshman year before turning 14. His siblings quickly confirmed he didn’t skip a grade. We noticed that Derran did not appear in the 1973 Downey High School yearbook, which is available in full online. A strange omission, but Derran wouldn’t have been the first student to skip picture day. But then Shaun found something that changed the entire timeline: Derran did appear in the 1974 yearbook, which covered the school year that began in Fall 1973, as a freshman. Since underclassmen school photos are typically taken at the beginning of the school year, I calculated the 1974 yearbook photo was likely taken no earlier than September 1973. My suspicions were confirmed by a source at Modesto City Schools: Downey High School has digitized attendance records from as far back as the 1950’s, and the last day Derran is recorded attending school there was Friday, April 19, 1974. No one is certain why the Modesto Police Department lists the wrong date of disappearance. "You Can't Mourn The Missing" Both Leila and Shaun have come to terms with the knowledge that Derran almost certainly died long ago. While Shaun remains hopeful they will one day learn what happened, the first time I spoke to Leila I thought: this is a woman that has given up. Leila’s tone is mostly one of dejection, but her voice shakes with anger when she speaks of the way police have treated her family over the years, her rage palpable as she remembers her parents dying without answers. “When you accepted that Derran was probably gone did that at least allow you the chance to mourn him?” I asked her one day. Leila paused for a moment before telling me, matter-of-factly, "Honey, you can't mourn the missing.” Theories and Conclusion Throughout this write up I've talked a little about the obvious theories and I wanted to take a moment to discuss another possibility, however farfetched. While I will be the first to admit that serial killer lore is not my favorite subject, I have wondered if there’s a small chance that Derran fell victim to serial killer Randy Kraft, AKA The Scorecard Killer. Aside from the fact that Derran fit Kraft’s victim profile, the killer also owned a Ford Mustang in March of 1975. I’m not sure if he had acquired it by 1974, or if it was ever known to be painted in gray primer (by 1975 it was said to be a “distinctive black and white”). Two men were reported to be in the car Derran entered that morning; prosecutors strongly believed that at least some of Kraft’s crimes were committed with an accomplice. It is notable, however, that Kraft had no known victims outside of Southern California until 1980. If you've made it this far, first let me apologize for my criminal overuse of commas. And please share your theories! NAMUS shows 40 Doe exclusions; I won’t list them all, but they can be viewed by creating a free NAMUS account. A Websleuths user also posted a screen grab of the rule outs here. If you think that Derran shares similarities with a Doe that has not been ruled out, please post it here in the comments for feedback or contact the appropriate investigating agency to report the possible match. I'm here for any reader follow up questions, and I have Shaun standing by in case it relates to something we haven't gone over. Again - Shaun would love to see further coverage of Derran's case and is eager to participate. Thank you for taking the time to read Derran's story. submitted by /u/non_ducor_duco_ to r/UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/ThrowRAgirlcopdad who posted to r/relationship_advice TW: teen pregnancy, controlling behavior Original Post July 29th, 2024 I'm a 34 year old guy, and I have a 16 year old stepdaughter. My wife is 31. In highschool, my wife was a "popular girl" stereotype. Pink, blonde chunky highlights in her brown hair, this was the mid-late 2000s. She was on the cheerleading team, had lots of friends and boyfriends, was well known and liked. She was basically the living embodiment of the picture perfect girl from those cheesey 2000s highschool movies. And then she got pregnant. When she was 15, she had her daughter. She doesn't know who the father is, and any potential fathers for the girl up and left way back when. Her daughter is recently 16. I never wanted kids, I found them annoying. But I fell in love with my wife and got married when she was 20 and I was 23 after dating for 2 years. We hit it off, and I married her and decided to suck it up around the kid. I never planned to absolutely love being a dad to her specifically. Kids still annoy me, but my daughter (step daughter technically) was different. She was quiet, nerdy even at a young age. I married her mother when she was 5, and we clicked right away. We went on daddy-daughter dates every weekend. I played dolls with her. Let her paint my nails and do makeup on me. I drove her to and from school in my cop car. We even did daddy-daughter duo costumes for Halloween. Over the past two years she's developed a darker dress style. I don't know what the proper subculture of her outfits are, but according to her she's dressing like a horror game protagonist and a Monster High character. Purple is her main color she incorporates into this specific "aesthetic blend" as she calls it. I don't get it, but maybe that's because I'm a man in my 30s, I don't know. She likes ghosts, tarot cards, vampires, zombies, aliens, creepy victorian dolls. I don't get it, but also I don't care because if it makes her happy so what? She's also an introvert, and prefers to play games on her computer or read fantasy occult novels rather than hangout with other teens her age. She has friends, so I'm not too worried about her being completely withdrawn. I'm just glad I don't have to drive her around since she only has a learner's permit currently. My wife hates this. My wife always wanted a girly girl. Pinks and pastels and flowers and all that. She wants our daughter to get a boyfriend, be more social, be a cheerleader like she was. Which, in itself is valid. I get it, I'm sure most every parents has preferences for what they want their kid to turn out like, and some disappointment when they stray from that fantasy is valid. Some. My wife will constantly takes and hides my daughter's darker room decor. She constantly gets pastel dresses for our daughter, tells her to wipe off her dark eye makeup, tries to set her up on dates with jock types from my daughter's school, and convince her to sign up for both school and summer activities like cheerleading or volleyball. I could have put up with all of that, I really could have. But a few weeks ago I woke up to my wife finally hitting finally hitting her breaking point. I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife screaming and having what I can confidently describe as a borderline meltdown. She was crying and saying all she ever wanted was a normal daughter who likes pink, and is a cheerleader and has a boyfriend and will give her grandkids. I had to drag her out the hallway after 30 minutes of this. I kept thinking it would stop, but it kept going on and on. My daughter was just staring at this whole thing in the doorway of her room. What caused this meltdown from my wife? My daughter dyed purple over the blonde streaks/highlights my wife had forced her to get in her hair. Which wasn't even breaking a house rule, as my wife and I have both told her she can do whatever she wants with her hair as long as she doesn't stain too many towels. It's been weeks, and my daughter won't talk to her mom. My wife is still up with her antics, but now it's in overdrive. Everyday she brings home some type of trendy clothing in pink or pastels and tries to give it to my daughter. My daughter is getting fed up and stays in her room all day, and has confessed to me she can't wait for school to start back up in a few weeks so she can get out the house and be with her friends again. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to "side" with anyone in this situation. I understand my wife wants a daughter who she can relate, and my daughter wants a mom who understands her. I don't know what I can or should do. I need help. I need advice. Added Comments for Context This comment concerning if his wife is living through her daughter OP My wife was a junior. She has a late birthday, and had always been a year younger than her classmates as a result. She got pregnant early in her junior year, and had the baby a few months before turning 16. She never went back to highschool even after having the baby. She was lucky and already had most of her credits finished anyways from taking advanced classes and ended up finishing highschool online. She's told me before that she could have graduated a year early had she wanted to, but that she was planning to stay her senior year and just take elective classes and focus on getting a cheer scholarship since all her main credits were to be filled. She wasn't allowed to do that for the online option. I don't know if this was a thing in her district or just a thing back then but if you were online and finished your required credits, unless you planned to try and go for an honor graduate path and take more non-elective/advanced core classes you basically had to graduate online or try and transfer back in school. She couldn't do that with the baby, so she was forced to miss out on going back to school for her senior year. At least that what she told me. This comment concerning setting up her daughter with jocks OP I never understood setting our daughter up with jocks. My daughter has told me about her type before while we were playfully teasing each other, and she said she likes nerdy guys. She also said that while the jocks guys are nice to her on the dates, she just isn't attracted to them. Update Aug 5th, 2024 It's been about a week since I last posted about how my wife was having a meltdown over how my daughter chose to dress. Two nights after I posted, I sat my wife down and very bluntly asked her what exactly the problem was. She kept saying she just wanted a daughter who was similar to her, but after I kept asking she broke down and admitted the real reason why she was having her meltdowns. My wife feels that her daughter is the only way for her to have more family in the future. She's estranged from her siblings, her parents don't speak much to her, and all of her friends from highschool stopped talking to her after her pregnancy. She wants a family back, and she's hoping that her daughter will marry a nice boy and give her grandkids so she can have a family again. She said she never brought up having more kids with me because she figured I'd be against the idea. I don't know how I feel about having more kids with my wife, but it certainly won't happen now. So my wife is in therapy to try and get her to realize that she can't just view my daughter as a way to create a family. She's doing well so far, but it's too soon to really tell. My daughter is also in therapy. She's been in therapy since she was a kid for bullying issues, but now her therapist is trying to focus on the meltdown situation with her. My daughter actually seems relatively unaffected by this whole situation other than a little annoyed, so I don't know if that's good or not. I took my daughter to Hot Topic for some back to school accessories and then took her out to eat, just the two of us. She's still excited to go back to school, she misses her friends and her clubs. My wife and daughter have started talking normally again. They had a long talk, which I was present for, where my wife apologized for being so pushy and extreme with her wishes. My daughter was well receptive to this talk and seems to be back to her normal self, I am keeping an eye on both of them to be sure. My wife is doing her best to understand my daughter's interests. Last I know the two were watching some slasher TV show on Hulu as a way to bond, and it appears to be working. There isn't any bad blood between the two. I know things are soon, and that things can change, but so far everything appears to be smoothing over pretty well. Thank you for all the advice, harsh and gentle, that I reviewed through my original post. It definitely slapped me in the face as what could happen if I didn't get both of them help and make them talk it out. **Added Comments for context* Commenter Do you not think that couples counselling would be a good idea, or are we just ignoring the huge elephant in the room? Your wife wants more kids. You’ve just said you definitely don’t, which is fine, and that’s going to cause resentment. If she is set on having more kids and you’re set on not having any then isn’t it cruel to stay married to each other? OP I'm not opposed to having kids a in a bit, just not now. I originally didn't want kids, but I love being a dad to my daughter and I know now that if more kids were to happen I'd also love being a dad to them. I just don't think it's a good idea to have kids now given that wife is working on herself in therapy. I'm not trying to rush things right now because we still have time to have kids. My mom had me at 37 so I know that we still have time to have kids if we decide on that. Commenter Why does your wife assume that just because your daughter dresses in the way that makes her happy and follows her interests that she won't ever have kids? What makes your wife assume only "I peaked in highschool" girls could have families? I'm glad she's in therapy and I hope the daughter only changes if she WANTS to change and not because her mom is a wacko. OP It confuses me too, because my daughter has said she wants kids in the future. We've had talks about her future before, and she has mentioned how she wants a good job so her and her kids can be rich. I know she's 16 and that she can still change her mind, but as of now she seems pretty sure of having kids in her adult years. I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts. submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I have two friends: Gaby and Shelly. All of us are 23, if that matters. We were roommates in college and stayed in the same city after graduation. While the three of us are close, I’ve always known that Gaby and Shelly are the closest. They have a really sweet friendship. Shelly is getting married. Gaby is the maid of honor and I’m one of the bridesmaids. Over the weekend, I went with Shelly so she could look at wedding dresses. Gaby was supposed to come with us but got called into work last minute. I helped Shelly pick out some dresses then she went with the consultant to try them on. Shelly asked that I take pictures and videos on her phone to send to her mom and Gaby. I was getting the camera ready when a text from Gaby came through. I didn’t mean to click on it and was instantly going to click back out when I saw one of my Instagram pictures in their private chat from earlier that morning. Both were making fun of me for the face I was making and my outfit choice. It didn’t appear to be very good nature. I admit, curiosity got the best of me so I searched my name in the chat. I found multiple pictures that I, my boyfriend or my mom have posted of myself, absolutely ripping them to shreds. Ranging from selfies to posed shots to even a few baby pictures. They’d also make fun of me in general in terms of the way I talked, wore my hair and the way I ate. This went back as far as I could tell, at least a year. My heart broke. It all felt so juvenile and high school. While we all joke around, I would never do this to them nor have they ever even tried to instigate these types of conversations with me about the other one on one. I was in tears. As someone who was bullied all through middle and high school, it just brought me back to a horrible place. I put the phone in Shelly’s purse and brought it to another employee, telling her to tell Shelly that I had to go. I drove home and had a long cry. Shelly texted me by the time I made it home asking where I went. I said I was going home and we could talk later. When she did call a few hours later, she was understandably confused and hurt that I left. I told her what I found, explaining that I only looked further because of the initial text I accidentally saw. She went off on me for looking through her private texts and said those were none of my business. She also told me I shouldn’t have left the store without saying anything. I said I didn’t want to make a scene but also knew I couldn’t fake being happy for her. Shelly told me the texts were “all in good fun” and clearly she loves me because I’m going to be her bridesmaid. She added that I’m only hurt because I chose to read all those texts. Later on, Gaby called to tell me that I invaded Shelly’s privacy and hurt her by walking out. My boyfriend and mom think I did the right thing by walking out. But obviously, they’re a little biased. I just want some unbiased looks: was I an asshole to look through the texts and then leave? submitted by /u/Necessary-Wall-6446 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Hot_Relation899 OOP has since deleted her account I stalked my husband for two years before I formally met him Originally posted to r/offmychest Original Post June 30, 2023 I (24F) married my husband (28M) about a year and a half ago. The first time I saw my husband I was a freshman in high school, he was a freshman in college. He was walking his dog at the park, when he stopped to talk to my brother (27M) because they happened to go to high school together. That was the moment I became hooked. That same day I found his Instagram, his family’s social media, and also where he lived since my brother offered to walk him home while I tagged along. When I got home that day I knew I wanted him, but of course I was only 14 while he was 18, so I came up with a plan. I found out his younger brother was only one year younger than me and would be attending my current high school. I figured that I had to befriend his younger brother by any means possible next year when he moves up as a freshman while I become a sophomore, and I did. It took around halfway of my junior year where we became best friends and he invited me over regularly to his house to hangout, this is where I was able to befriend my current husband’s mom, and god did she love to talk about him. From her, I found out what college he goes to, his past girlfriends, what his elementary/middle school was, his favorite/least favorite foods, his pet peeves, what he likes, etc etc. Eventually when my visits started getting more and more frequent, I formally met current husband again. Current husband, I’ll call him E, would come over every other week and stay for either Friday-Sunday, or Saturday to Sunday. On those days specifically I would wear my cutest outfits to impress him, and also joke around with him a lot. Eventually I befriended him as well. A little background on E, he is the school record holder for a certain sport at my school, which I just so happened to do. And around halfway through my senior year E came back during the season to help coach the current high school athletes, which included me, in order to get some more volunteer work hours in, and I got to spend a lot more time with him. I loved every second of it. We were friends before, but then we became much closer since I got to spend lots of extra time with him after school, where sometimes he would even drive me home since we lived relatively close. Fast forward to when I had to move away to NYC for college, E moved with me since he coincidentally got a job near my college. (Edit: I lied, it wasn’t a coincidence. I found out he got a job offer and applied to a college nearby his workplace) Being eachothers only friends in a new state, we became incredibly close. We started dating when I was almost a sophomore year of college, he proposed to me after I graduated, and we just got married almost a year ago. He knows absolutely nothing about how I truly know him, and believes it is fate that brought us together through his younger brother. Lately I have been debating on whether or not I should tell him, or at least his younger brother the truth, since the only reason I befriended him was to get closer to E. I feel guilty every time he tells others our love story, because the truth is, I’ve known him for 10 years, while he’s only known me for about 7. UPDATE: I read a reply saying that the best thing for MYSELF is to keep it a secret, which is what a lot of people are saying, but the best thing for HIM is to tell him, and I figured that person really is right. I will be telling him this Tuesday on his day off, he deserves to know who he married. Update July 6, 2023 I told him this fourth of July. After the fireworks mostly ended and we were heading back, I asked him in the car, "Wouldn't it have been weird if we met each other before the first time we actually met? But we just didn't think of each other as significant at the time?" He smiled and turned to me saying, "Pfft, that's impossible. There's no universe where we would have met and I would not think of you as significant." That statement struck me in the heart, because I knew I would soon prove that sentence VERY wrong, but i continued on with my plan anyway. "What if I told you we have met each other before? Before that time I was introduced as 'E's little brother's friend'?" He looked at me like I was crazy, so that's when I pulled over on the side of the road and pulled out my phone to show him the post I put up here before, that explained everything. He took about 8 minutes to read the whole thing, and when he finished he put the phone down and stared straight ahead, almost like he was dumbfounded, scared, and confused all at the same time. I started throwing out every excuse and apology I could muster at the moment for about 15 minutes straight when he decided to tell me to stop, and I did. Then he just sat there and sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes before he finally asked me how much of our relationship, and how much of my identity, was fabricated according to his liking, I told him the honest truth, none of my personality or identity was fabricated for him, accept for the fact of how we met. The only thing I ever changed about myself to make him like me more was lying about liking Chinese food, I hate Chinese food. But other than that everything else was real. Although my friendship with his younger brother was built upon ill intentions, my friendship between his brother and I are now one of the most genuine friendships I have now. He just cried and told me that he does not want to divorce at all, but he does want us to have some time apart so that he could absorb the truth that I gave him. He also said that he expects me to tell his brother and mom this Friday because they deserve to know the truth just as much as he did. I told him okay, and we drove the rest of the ride home in silence. When we got home he hugged me and cried for about 5 minutes before he got out the car, packed his stuff, and said that he will be staying at a nearby hotel for now. He said that he knows that he still loves me, but does not yet know how to react to the fact that the beginning of our relationship was very, very orchestrated. To sum it all up, I guess telling him was a success? I honestly don't know. He sent me a goodnight and I love you text last night while he was at the hotel, so I guess he's noy as much mad as he may be betrayed? UPDATE 2: Woke up this morning to find out that "hubby" not only lied about going to a hotel to stay at, but also lied about not wanting a divorce, through a text message. He went to his family's home, not a fuvking hotel. Told them the entire story himself, probably exaggerated it too to make me seem crazy. His whole family wants nothing to do with me too, claims I'm psycho. He said that he lied about going to a hotel, because he knew if he told the truth I would try to stop him? Honestly I feel so betrayed. I tried to be a good wife by showing him the true me, and this is what he does? I did all this work just for it to end up like this? Honestly, I kind of deserve it. I didn't even tell him in the first place because I felt bad, I told him because I had a suspicion that he was catching on to the fact that I knew him for two and a half years before he knew me, largely because I found out he was keeping my old phone in his work desk. My old phone that has screenshots of a lot of his old instagram posts, plans in my notes app about him, etc. So I guess he never truly loved me if he can't even get past an honest confession like this one. I might update this in a few years when I find a new husband lol. THIS IS A REPOST SUB I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Substantial-Emu-7247 in r/AmItheAsshole** Also I forgot to put it in Markdown mode when I made the post, sorry for the format ​ ​ trigger warnings: accusations of incest, stroke ​ --- ​ ​ [**AITA For not putting my mom in a nursing home**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yprz51/aita_for_not_putting_my_mom_in_a_nursing_home/) - November 8, 2022 ​ I (19M) live with my dad (53m), brothers (17m & 15m), and my mom (43F). My mom is the most beautiful soul ever. Always there for us. Encouraged us in whatever dream or goal we had. Two years ago my mom suffered a major stroke. She fought hard to learn to be able to walk and talk again. And we were with her every step of the way. ​ Things were going great until this past year. My mom now has unknown neurological disorders that renders her paralyzed to at times almost a vegetative state. In between those times she’s fine but can’t be left alone. My dad is a truck driver but comes home every weekend and we have a nurse who helps during the day while we’re at school or work. ​ I was offered a full ride at one of our country’s top universities when I graduated. My family, friends, and my girlfriend was so excited about it. But none as much as my mom. I was excited too. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave my mom’s care on just my dad and brothers. My gf thinks I’m sick because I have zero problem feeding my mom, changing her diaper, bathing her, dressing her, carrying her outside to sit in her chair. (Neither does my dad or brothers). ​ My gf recently told my mom that she was destroying my life and it would be best if she went to a home where others could deal with her. My mom sat us all down crying and apologized to us for being a burden. Told us she was going to look at homes so we could be free to live our lives. ​ When we finally found out why she was saying this, dad lost it. I called my gf and told her to stay the f*ck away from me and my family. That she was a cold hearted bitch who belongs in hell. She called me a sick pervert. Now I have people talking about how I’m in a sexual relationship with my mom. I’m still pissed because my mom is hurting and depressed. None of us want her in a home. But if it’s really what mom wants are we being selfish if we don’t put her in one? ​ Small update: Dad’s taking a couple weeks off. I sent him a link to this so he could read all the comments. Granted ultimately any decisions will be made by him and mom but he wants us all to sit down together and talk. I do want to let y’all know that I’m still going to school but instead of an Ivy League, I’m going to university of Arkansas. My middle brother Jake is studying diesel mechanics. And Johnny the youngest has a ways to go before graduating high school and joining the Navy. Girlfriend is in the ex category. I’ll let y’all know what happens after dad and mom talk with us. ​ ​ [**UPDATE AITA for not putting my mom in a nursing home**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yunedc/update_aita_for_not_putting_my_mom_in_a_nursing/) - November 13, 2022 ​ So in the span of just a few days a lot has happened. ​ Mom found my post. And commented. She also found out that my ex had accused me of having a sexual relationship with my mom. ​ Yes I got into Harvard. But I gave that up to help care for mom. I go to University of Arkansas. My dreams of becoming a doctor hasn’t changed just the path. ​ Dad came home and took mom out. I guess they had fun cause they left frowning and came home stupid smiling. This morning the smiles dropped when we got a knock on the door. Apparently mom invited my viper of an ex and her family over. In true hostess fashion mom was very nice with the small talk for a few minutes, then lowered the boom. ​ Apparently a few years ago mom took care of EXs grandparents in a nursing home. She flat out asked if EX thought she was Fing her grandparents because she changed them, bathed them, and helped dressed them. The look on my EXs parents faces was priceless. When asked what mom was talking about, mom explained that my ex was going around telling people that I was in a sexual relationship with her because of me taking care of her. They thought we had broken up because I had cheated. When her dad found out what she’d been saying about my mom and I he apologized to us and then lost it on her. ​ After they left we had a family meeting. Mom said she wants to go to a home because she doesn’t want any of us to have resentment for giving up being normal teens or our dreams for her. She also feels like she has become a hardship on dad. Dad just looked at her and informed her that her place was by his side unless it was unsafe for her physically, then he’d just move into a nursing home with her. ​ As for me, I told her I’m fine with where I am. My brothers agreed. We go out with friends, though most of our friends prefer to hang at our house, we go on dates, we’re “normal teens”. We did come to a compromise that we’d revisit the issue in a year. Unfortunately the stress has caused an issue so mom is at the “spa” aka the hospital tonight with dad. Thanks again everyone. Editing to add OOP’s moms comments Every day you, your brothers, and your daddy give me a reason to wake up. I don’t ever want any of you to regret your life choices. I want you baby to reach for the stars because only you can hold yourself back. I don’t want to be a burden to you or Jacob or John or my wonderful annoying husband. And when your daddy gets home you can bet your sweet behind we will be talking about this. And son if Harvard is where you truly want to be, then you go. I’ll be ok. I’m not going anywhere. I fully intend to be here long enough to spoil any and all grandkids I have. And none of you had better make me a granny yet because I’m not ready for that yet. I love each and every one of you. Comment: Your mom is such a badass, saying all that to your ex girlfriend in front of your family. Mom’s reply: I’m not a badass. But thank you dear for saying that. Makes me feel good. Showed Pops and he said he should get me a leather jacket I can wear on the new bike he got. I can be his badass biker babe. 😂 you have a wonderful life sweetie. Comment: You're the mom?!? I didn't know you as of two minutes ago but I am now madly in love with you, this small tidbit about you and your family's life is more than enough to understand why they want so much to take proper care of you

I am not the OP; that would happen to be u/throwramatz (Long post warning) My(m23) fiancé's(f22) grandpa's retirement party is making me reconsider our future We met in high school and started dating following graduation, but her (Jane) recent stand on the matter has me concerned. Jane's grandpa (David) "retired" a few years ago but went back to work because he became bored. Her mother (Ari) said that it "wasn't a real retirement" because he was unable to do the physical work and needed to find something more manageable for his age. He worked for a moving company before transitioning into an office job, and he's retiring again after a few years there. Jane's parents are also very religious, and that is important for context. It is also another reason why we prioritized moving out sooner, and she's been living with me since graduating high school. I work full-time and attend school part-time online, and she worked full-time because she wanted to get out Her parents were very strict about purity and put a lot of wrong things in her mind. From controlling how she dressed (no dresses/skirts/footwear without socks/certain bathing suits and always swim shoes) to friends she was allowed to have, she often vented to me, and I tried my best to be there. She also used to self-harm and told me shortly after graduation, and learning to accept herself and wear things as an adult has been a process. There's a lot more, but I think that's enough. She found a therapist that works with her insurance and has helped make strides over the past few years. She went no-contact with her parents for a few years until they reached out and wanted to apologize, and she decided to hear them out some time back. They told her that they changed and pointed to her sister (Grace, fourteen) who was put in sports that she wasn't allowed to do, and Jane said she was happy to see her doing well. They also showed her photos of things that she had missed, and they didn't police Grace's clothing as they previously had Jane was happy to mend bridges after the meeting, and her therapist was there every step of the way. Jane also seemed happier and got to spend time with Grace again. But when it came to grandpa's party, they wanted her to help arrange, and that is where we began to have issues. I don't know what changed in the philosophy of her parents, but they've done a 180 on their purity ideals which I commend, but not with the party. Grace has attended a local circus school for a few years, and she had apparently wanted one of those rigs to hang her hoop from in the backyard for more practice. Apparently those rigs can run expensive, and Ari purchased one for her this summer that was around a thousand dollars. Why is this an issue? Ari wants Grace to perform using the rig at the party in the backyard, and she wants her to wear a costume that she doesn't feel comfortable wearing. It's a two-piece costume that she showed Jane and told her that she was nervous about performing too. Aside from the costume, there was a recent recital at her studio where she was supposed to perform, but she became anxious and ended up not performing. She wanted the rig so she could practice in the backyard because she was shy, but Ari wasn't giving her a choice and her father agreed with her too Ari told her that she was "expected to perform" after all the money they put out for the rig because it "was the only way to overcome stage fright" (they never mentioned strings attached when they purchased it). She also threatened to return it if she didn't perform, and she already put it in the planner too. Ari was also upset because of the class she paid for that culminated with the recital that she considered a "waste". But pushing her to perform when she's not ready isn't right and something Jane disagreed with me on. When I asked her why she felt that way, she said Grace "should be grateful" after she wasn't allowed to do sports/wear much at all growing up, and I was surprised because she's never been a resentful person. She also said she supported Ari entirely and that she "should threaten to return it" to push her to perform. She went on about how she "would've loved to have the chance" to have the freedom that Grace was allowed to have, and she is still in therapy too The only person I've talked to about it is my mom who said that there is some jealousy that needs to be addressed. When I told Jane that I disagreed with her stance, she said she "wished Grace would cut herself" to "know what it feels like" because she "had it easier than her". She also called me an "enabler" for supporting Grace's concerns and that I'd "be a terrible father" who "never pushed their children". She wasn't like this before the party/reconnecting with her parents, and I told her that reconnecting was her choice between her and her therapist. I also told her that I'm considering talking to her parents on Grace's behalf, but she said we'd "be done" if I did that because I'd be "taking her parent's side". I believe in standing up for Grace because she may have no one else capable. But my dad said I should "drop it" and "not choose Grace over my fiancé" (mom disagrees), but I disagree with him. Jane has changed since reconnecting with her parents, and I believe her ultimatum shows she's likely done with us. I want to help Grace by talking to her parents, but I want to ask if there's a better way to help her before I do that because my connection to her family may soon be over given her ultimatum (Update) My(m23) fiancé's(f22) grandpa's retirement party is making me reconsider our future I mentioned that both of my parents had conflicting opinions. Dad said I was crazy to choose my fiancé's sister (Grace) over my fiancé who I knew since high school, but mom disagreed and said I was right to look out for Grace even if I wasn't family yet because it would "set a precedent". My fiancé (Jane) has been in no-contact with her parents since high school graduation and moving out with me. Her parents were very religious, policed her clothing and friends to where she couldn't wear dresses or skirts or even shoes without socks such as sandals, and she used to harm herself too. She began working full-time (since moving out), got into therapy and began to slowly do some of those things over time. But since reestablishing contact with her parents, she became jealous and wishing bad things on her younger sister who's been allowed to wear things she wasn't When I said that her parents were wrong to force Grace (her younger sister who's still in high school) to wear an outfit she wasn't comfortable wearing at her grandpa's retirement party, she gave me an ultimatum and said that I was "taking her parent's side over hers" (about how they allowed Grace to do/wear more than she could growing up) and that we'd be done if I did that. Long story short, Grace was allowed to do sports that Jane wasn't and took classes in a local circus school. She had a recital where she was supposed to perform, but couldn't last minute because she became nervous. Her parents purchased her an aerial rig for the backyard that cost almost a thousand so that she could practice at home (because she was shy), but they threatened to return it after telling her that she "had to perform" at grandpa's party to overcome her fear, and they never mentioned anything about strings attached My mom said that she was "likely done" with the relationship if she was at the point of giving me an ultimatum. Jane said Grace "should be grateful to do sports/wear things she wasn't allowed to growing up" and that she "wished she cut herself". She's still in therapy, but I don't regret telling her that it was her choice entirely to reconnect after her parents apologized (after a few years of no-contact). But since then, she's become slowly bitter. Dad said it "wasn't my business". But Jane said she "had no intentions of going no-contact again" when we talked and that it "was up to Grace to change". Since we were engaged, I felt as if it was my business because I'd be marrying into her family. But most importantly, Grace had no one to stand up for her. So with Jane likely done, I called Ari (since she was the main planner of the party) after our second conversation and asked if I could come over to talk. They said that I couldn't and that we'd "talk on the phone", and I figured that Jane likely told them I might call I told her it was dangerous to push someone to perform when they weren't ready because of potential anxiety, and I also told them that forcing Grace to wear something she wasn't comfortable in was a bad idea too. Ari said it "was their money" and that "it was the only one that she would grow". She also mentioned how I was "arguing" with Jane and that she had told them about it. She told me to mind my own business, and that was pretty much how it went. Jane also talked to me when she returned from work and said that she was going to stay with her parents after Ari told her about our conversation. She said she would return to get her things with her dad and that she was "done with me for taking their side" She stayed with them yesterday and hasn't returned for their things yet, and mom said that it was for the best because "that was the family I'd be marrying into" and "because some people are unable to remove their parents from their lives". I just wish I could've done more to help Grace because her parents really did a number on both of them, but I've been blocked on social media by Jane and likely have no connection with her parents anymore. Mom said she'd help with how to cancel the wedding, but dad said that I should "do it on my own" because he disagrees, but mom is still helping. A lot of this post was to vent because part of me feels upset at Jane's parents while another feels disappointed in Jane's change. She was doing better until reestablishing contact, but the hardest part is my parents arguing over helping me because dad keeps saying I've "done it to myself" and will "regret it forever, and that hurts a lot too. If I can ask for advice on how to work through this with my mom, I'd appreciate that the most because she's always been there and she's hurting too submitted by /u/throwraparties2 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hey, I wanted to let you know that I love you even though we’ve parted ways. I wanted to let you know that I finally graduated with my Associates from that school I told you about and I haven’t held that anger about you not letting me go 14 years ago for some time now. I know that was your mental illness/drug abuse talking back then. It was a bit of a detour to get here and I know you would be proud of you knew. I did really well and graduated with a 3.5 GPA! I know I generally don’t open up about the emotional stuff. I’ve had years of practice being “the rock” as your daughter and as a single mom, but I’ve kinda lost my nerve about going up on stage to accept my diploma. See, I was really excited since it’s going to be my first time getting to wear a cap and gown or be given a diploma as you remember I had to drop out of high school a bit early and get my GED because of how bad my grades and the bullying was getting. But, well, I invited all the people that had asked to be invited to my graduation and none of them were able to come. I mean, I will still have the kids coming (they are doing pretty ok themselves these days, btw. Growing like weeds! The older one is going to high school next fall and is taller than me now!). While part of me wants to blame companies for not giving their employees enough days for them to take off, I can’t help but think about the other factors like maybe I’m just not as close to these people as I thought or I had misread a benign pleasantry again. But then I happened upon a wild Reddit post about an extraordinarily crazy fellow non-trad student. Some of the comments made me realize that maybe I shouldn’t be proud of getting my AS at 38 as I had been and that maybe it really isn’t much of an achievement as I’d thought. Maybe the people I invited people didn’t consider this important enough to waste their valuable personal days on. Which has left me wondering if maybe I should be embarrassed about “having to play catch up.”? If maybe I should leave the stage walking to “the kids” and keep my personal win on the DL and just be glad I have my papers? Maybe I’m being silly and just have the jitters from feeling so out of place through all my classes? I’m also not 100% sure if my kids are being excited for me just because they don’t want to see me be sad. They are very kind like that. I dunno. I’m feeling a little lost right now and could probably use a little courage and help to convince my silly brain that going to commencement is for me because the hat, robes, and outfit I bought for this aren’t refundable. Anywho, thank you mom. I hope you are doing well. Wish I could have invited you. P.S. this is a throw away and I left out/changed some details because my kids have Reddit and I don’t want them worrying. submitted by /u/StaleConfidence7830 to r/MomForAMinute [link] [comments]

I’m an 18F and last Friday, I finished my senior finals. We only had to come to school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday last week. I attend a small private school with only thirty students in my graduating class. Since this was the last time I’d see everyone at school together until graduation this Thursday, I wanted to dress up for school, and more than I usually would. Our school does not have a uniform. I find that I perform and focus better when I dress up. My mom and I had a fun time picking outfits. We decided on two fancier dresses and also a sleeveless racerback turtleneck with high waisted jeans. On Wednesday, I overheard one of my classmates talk to several others, and she referred to me as a “bitch” for the way that I was dressed. It was worse on Friday when I got out of my last final, when one of my friends asked me “who do you think you are?” in terms of what I was wearing. I told her that I wanted to dress up since it was the last week of school, but then she said that I was trying to show off. I would never try to show-off, all I wanted to do was wear nicer clothes for our finals week since it was the last time we’d see each other in school. Was she in the wrong, or should I have scaled-back on my outfits? submitted by /u/ExpressElegance7546 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

Throwaway for obvious reasons. I feel like I’m the biggest asshole, but I want some opinions. I (44M) currently live with my only son Brian (23M). Me and his mom broke up when he was 4 and I got full custody of him since his mom was unemployed and doing drugs after he was born. She’s been in and out of his life since. She makes some contact, but not enough. Until he was old enough to be home alone, my mom would watch him. While he was growing up, I’ve tried to teach him to be responsible for himself, since I was always out at work and not home to be with him. He was always a big kid, but it was never a problem. When he got to high school, he joined the football team and began to lose the weight. He even started going to the gym regularly to build muscle. In his senior year, he got kicked off the team for bad grades. Around this time, my mom passed away, which I believe hit him the hardest since they were super close. Months later he started to lose all his motivation and stopped doing everything he used to do. He did graduate (late) but then he started to put on a lot of weight and smoke pot. I tried to encourage him to get a job and apply for college. He assured me he was but it never happened. I didn’t want to intervene because he is an adult and I couldn’t force him to do anything. Come last week, he texted me while I was at work asking me if I can take him to the mall and buy him new clothes because his current ones don’t fit anymore. I told him I would, but I can’t afford it right now. I did say I’d get him a few shirts and a pair of pants at Walmart, but he wanted to go buy things only at the mall. After a minute of talking, He refused to get anything from Walmart and only things from the mall. I got annoyed and said “maybe if you got off your ass and got a job, you wouldn’t have to ask me to buy you shit.” He hung up and called his mom, to which she then texted me a whole bunch of bs saying I fat shamed him and I’m just bullying him. I told her that I never mentioned his weight, but apparently he thinks I did. She told me if I didn’t get him what he “needs”, she will, to which I said go ahead. I’m not sure if I’m right to stick to my guns or if I’m just being an ass by not getting him what he wants. edit: something I didn’t mention is that when his grandma passed away, he went for a wellness check up because of the rapid weight gain. I went with him and spoke with his doctor. I asked her to recommend us some mental health services because I did believe the weight gain was linked to depression or anxiety. She gave us a flyer, to which I told Brian to look into those things and to work on himself. Like usual, he said he would, but never did. I pushed him to get help, but it felt like he didn’t want any, and like I’ve mentioned before, I can’t force him to do anything. I love my son, but there are something’s I can’t really do for him. Another thing, some of you commented to maybe get him some work outfits and clothes for an interview, but I would only do so if I know he’s landed one! Thank you all for your advice! submitted by /u/mysonitsathrowaway to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

So I just found this reddit and I was reading some of the stories, and I was like, “hey I’ve got one!” Well here it is. My mom was and still is a crazy homophobic protester, like the one that’s at a pride festival with an offensive sign. She even told gay couples they couldn’t be like that because they might scar me. Anyways this was the summer after I graduated high school and was moving on to college, I had a boyfriend (we’re still together) and I always told my mom he was just a close friend. Then my mom told me we were going to go protest at a pride festival. I had had enough, so I began to think of a master plan. First I put on rainbow colored clothes, then put on some black pants and a hoodie, and made a protester sign with two layers so I could peel off the first. When we arrived at the festival I took out my sign and stood with the other protesters, once my mom came over I ran over to the parade, took off my hoodie and pants, revealing the rainbow outfit. Man I will never forget the look on her face! Then I peeled off the first layer of the sign which made it say, “HI MOM!” That was the best day of my life! My mom just walked away, got into her car and drove away. Even though I had to wait half an hour for my friend to come pick me up, I still remember that day as the greatest day of my life. here’s the picture of me at the parade. http://imgur.com/9mP4I4a submitted by /u/712610 to r/entitledparents [link] [comments]

https://www.twincities.com/2018/01/06/lake-elmo-teenager-vanished-susan-swedell-cold-case-1998-30-years-ago/ During a blizzard on Jan. 19, 1988, Susan Swedell finished her shift at Kmart in Oak Park Heights at 9 p.m. and headed home to Lake Elmo to watch a movie and eat popcorn with her mother and her sister. A half-hour later, a gas-station attendant gave her permission to leave her overheated car at the K Station, a mile from home. The clerk said she saw Swedell get into another car with a man. She hasn’t been seen since. “We don’t know what happened that night,” said Kathy Swedell, Sue’s mother. “She was telling us that she was going to come home because it was an all-out Minnesota blizzard. When I looked out our window, I could barely see across the street, and here she was driving home. We didn’t know if she had stopped someplace or tried to walk. It was terrible. No sign of Susan. No call. Nothing. Officers did go out and look for her, but by the time they found her car, there was no sign of Susan. When Swedell had not arrived home by 11 p.m. on that Tuesday night, her mother and sister called the sheriff’s office to request that deputies search for her car — a 1975 maroon Oldsmobile Cutlass — in ditches between Kmart and the house they rented in downtown Lake Elmo. Deputies found the car at the K Station, at the corner of Manning Avenue and Minnesota 5. Thinking she might have tried to walk home — during a blizzard that dumped more than 7 inches of snow on the area — they searched for Susan between the gas station and the Swedells’ house on Lake Elmo Avenue. “As the hours passed by, all I could think was that she was frozen in a ditch somewhere,” said Christine Swedell, who was 16 at the time. “So when whoever came to the house said they found the car but didn’t find her, that just completely threw me into a whirl. I just wanted to get out there and search for her.” Investigators didn’t learn until the next day that she had left the gas station with a man. The gas-station attendant said Swedell pulled up to the station around 9:30 p.m., followed by a “light-colored older model car with sport wheels that was in good shape, but dirty,” said Troy Ackerknecht, a detective with the sheriff’s office. Swedell and the man talked for a few minutes, and then Swedell came into the station and said she was having car problems, Ellickson said. “She asked if she could leave her car at the station. The attendant said, ‘Well, they’re going to plow here. You’ll need to move it.’ She moved it, and they left westbound on Highway 5.” Swedell was wearing a short skirt and sweater and no coat or boots, according to police reports. Her manager at Kmart told police that at the end of her shift Swedell changed out of the red pants outfit she had worn to work. “He made a comment that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the blizzard,” Ackerknecht said. When police searched her car the next day, they found her glasses, driver’s license and purse. After the car was found, Kathy Swedell had it brought to the house. It sat on the street until five days later, when she drove it to Cub Foods in Stillwater to buy groceries. As she was driving, the car started smoking and steaming, so she arranged to have it towed to Lake Elmo Repair. A mechanic discovered that the car’s petcock — a small valve at the bottom of the radiator — had been loosened, and the water had leaked out. Did someone deliberately tamper with her car and then follow her, waiting for the car to break down? In the weeks before she disappeared, Susan Swedell had been using telephone chat lines to talk to boys, racking up a bill of more than $300, Kathy Swedell said. Co-workers at Kmart reported that Swedell, a graduate of Stillwater Area High School, had been receiving numerous calls at work from a man. She also continued to talk to an ex-boyfriend and had reportedly made plans to see him the night she disappeared, but he called to cancel because of the weather. A week after Susan disappeared, Kathy Swedell returned to her job as principal secretary for the University of Minnesota math department, and Christine Swedell went back to school. When Christine got home from school that afternoon, she couldn’t find the key to get in the house. “We normally kept it on a shelf, right next to the door, underneath something — that’s just the way it was in Lake Elmo,” Christine Swedell said. “I was looking all over for it. I couldn’t get into the house. It was locked. That was the key. I didn’t have an extra.” She eventually located it under a box in a back corner of the shelf. When she entered the house, she said, she “felt like someone had been there.” There were dirty dishes in the sink that hadn’t been there in the morning, and there was a “peculiar” smell of smoke, she said. “It smelled of something sweet,” she said. “I’ve never done drugs or had a drink, but … it was very strong. People say it might have been marijuana, but I didn’t know. I didn’t touch anything. I didn’t go upstairs. I just called Mom. Of course, it felt like forever until she got home. I was freaking out.” Later that night, Christine found the red outfit that Susan had worn to work on the day she disappeared; it had been balled up and jammed under Susan’s bed. None of her daughter’s personal items, including clothing, makeup or grooming products, were taken, but “somebody had been there,” Kathy Swedell said. submitted by /u/FrankieWinters52 to r/UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]