Nice Above Ground Pool Ideas

... a career, bouncing between ideas and inspirations like a Merminian...to reveal a deep, dark pool of crystal blue-green water. ...she shoved him to the ground, mounting his thighs, the Mega ...beat his heels against the ground, flapping his arms uselessly. His ... The jingle sounded, barely audible above Andrew’s screaming, moaning laughter and ...laughed. “You’re still way too nice. But, that’s okay.” He laid ...

... on and go to ground until he got new orders...fuckin' doubt it's a wide pool. So maybe you guys don't...consciousness, after years spent barely above the line of being considered ...scooter as he yelled out ideas to his son, who yelled ... have questions for you." "Nice to meet you, ma'am," Revive ... good. Being on the nice list of the person who ... Rosalind noted with a nod. "Nice." 'God, her voice is somehow ...

... something," she said. "It chooses ground, holds it, and dares the..., where the corruption would likely pool and where it would thin... questions and wrote. It felt... nice to be useful. After Jean... other ideas. Somehow I ended up on the high wall above the...

..., both arms were dramatically raised above his head. "Oh! Sorry!" ... either of you say something nice?" Long silence. "Very pretty...Three fabricated fiancés. A betting pool. An investment opportunity. Two forged...that ensnared you with terrible ideas just so you would get...dislocated instantly. Bell hit the ground and rolled. The Minotaur turned... it with his teeth. "Nice throw." "Thanks." The necklace flew...

.... They unceremoniously fell to the ground, sparking and smoking with small ... to race, going through various ideas about how the spheres worked, ... he was dropped to the ground, falling onto his hands and ... soon expanded, rippling like a pool of water as black as ... class division and how those above the rest thought themselves superior. ..., and it was in a nice corner with a tree he ...

...all going to die." "A nice sounding sentiment," The Raikage replied...as it left the giant pool of Megumi's shadow. Its feathers... lights gave everyone on the ground and above it a clear view of ...whole room into chaos. The ground closest smoldered with a black ...snapped sideways, feet leaving the ground. He spun across the air ...he could, theorized and debunked ideas, accepted advice that seemed plausible. ...

... This will require some… innovating ideas. "Fly, my sweets!" You...face further into the ground, cheeks as dark as obsidian. "... That would be very nice of it. It doesn't, of ...stones ejected from the ground, whereupon more of the animals ...quickly back to the ground, grunting. Momo reaches up and ... all: just barely above your height, its legs bent awkwardly and unsurely to lap at the pool. Its eyes stick ...

...know. I do have good ideas, sometimes!" Despite the way she... that a win. As nice as it would have been...before heading back to the pool for another one of Mash's ...pleasure in relaxing in the pool for at least a little ...— except the confetti that exploded above my head and rained down ...have that. And…it was nice, being appreciated like this. Having ...into a hole in the ground than let anyone hear her ...

...know. I do have good ideas, sometimes!" Despite the way she... that a win. As nice as it would have been...before heading back to the pool for another one of Mash's ...pleasure in relaxing in the pool for at least a little ...— except the confetti that exploded above my head and rained down ...have that. And…it was nice, being appreciated like this. Having ...into a hole in the ground than let anyone hear her ...

... Trey lying unconscious on the ground. We get a boot-up sequence ...a boss, and the health pool reflects that, but the damage ... circumstances, that would be a nice little character detail. The problem .... The North, meanwhile, prioritises progress above all else. Robots, holograms, advanced ... We then ask Blanco for ideas on how to recover Trey’s ... all of this, there are ideas I genuinely like. The combat ...

Jaune's Ideas ​ Having gotten an airship at ... path; frogs bekexing in a pool the road drew near to ..., and held his hands lightly above Arslan's. The golden light formed ... the blade to cover the ground and surround the huge grimm's ... turned into fragments, bombarding the ground below, smashing Jaune's ice, burying ... eye encompassing its entire face. Nice to meet the real you, ...

... his breath form a cloud above him. "It never snowed... sun. "Having comrades is nice." "You say something?" Chizue asked...in charge have very different ideas about what Seed should be."... explosion, closer, rocked the ground they stood on, and Tora ... sword out of the ground as he went, the giant ... stomach, lying in a pool of his own blood, a ... hand flat against the ground. A quick application of chakra ...

...get the base in a nice state of repair, and work... land right in a pool of water that sits halfway ...back down on the flooded ground once you've sealed it back ... a foot, two feet, above the coastal floor beneath the ... systems you fixed up above water. The complexity of this ...power actually does. You have ideas and concepts floating around inside ... smartest creature on or above the planet. The water saw ...

...being bullet proof would be nice. The second was an Arrow...things that floated off the ground of her inner world like ... abilities seemed like bad ideas if she was honest with ...the group, it's abilities sat above all the others, and while ...stopped by yesterday, Marianne is nice." "Right, I guess I just ..., it looks like a pool. We don't have one of ... is a… couch?" "Oh! Nice, I've always wanted a couch ...

... was that the easiest talent pool we had access to, but..., once we were done, the ideas and concepts we generated would ... are building it from the ground up," another engineer claimed. "But ..., just underneath those, and two above the engine "pods" that could ... the helmet now had a nice dent in it. I quickly ...

...patrolled entirely by Mets. "Any ideas how to beat him, I... has a maximum health pool of twenty eight health or... Mets and a few ground Mets actively charging and firing ... section of the fortress. Above the entrance that Man-Thing created ... Rez." It was so nice of Bucky to point out ... at the middle platform above me and slingshot myself onto ... we landed on the ground softly without problems. Rez, looked ...

... tip of the nagamaki stopped above my head, shaking against the...a hand through his hair. "Nice of you to not attack... to bend into my chakra pool, similar feeling but somehow too... and let him turn the ideas in his head into something...stain. Shuriken were on the ground around his feet. The puppeteer ...left it folded on the ground on top of a gray ... at once, thudding to the ground or slumping over beams as ...

... replaced his extremities with flesh-colored pool noodles. Trainwreck couldn't hold his... balance on those pool noodle legs, and crashed onto the ground in front... made her slightly below and above average respectively. It was still ... with her local nemesis: "How nice that you could come, Faultline." ... the appearance. Still have no ideas why this erases memories, but ...

... replaced his extremities with flesh-colored pool noodles. Trainwreck couldn't hold his... balance on those pool noodle legs, and crashed onto the ground in front... made her slightly below and above average respectively. It was still ... with her local nemesis: "How nice that you could come, Faultline." ... the appearance. Still have no ideas why this erases memories, but ...

..., but most of the realistic ideas involved vehicles which would make... distance that even had a pool on its roof. Yet between... few dozen fluorescent lights hanging above plastic tables where nearly a... to jog. "They're actually pretty nice." Jackson said. "I don't want ... anchor her down to the ground. "You should be." I said ... to Jackson. I kept eating ground as I focused on my ...

..., but most of the realistic ideas involved vehicles which would make... distance that even had a pool on its roof. Yet between... few dozen fluorescent lights hanging above plastic tables where nearly a... to jog. "They're actually pretty nice." Jackson said. "I don't want ... anchor her down to the ground. "You should be." I said ... to Jackson. I kept eating ground as I focused on my ...

... before you get any clever ideas." "Then how do you ...I pointed at pinkie span above where the roots began, and... mind was spinning the ideas it hand, I gestured at... parties. For whatever betting pool they had on my connection ... have gotten to the ground floor already. "A Monarch faction ... themselves. The variety was nice, and in any other case ...madra rose out of the ground behind them. "Moving on, we ...

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Desperate_Earth_6763 Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell BoRUs: #1 [New Update]: My crazy neighbor poisoned my creek and stole water Editor’s note: made small edits for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: assault, harassment, bullying, theft, property damage, entitlement, controlling behavior, fraud, child abuse / abandonment, breaking and entering Mood Spoilers: rage Editor’s note: For the original post, I have put it into a summarizing TL;DR, due to its length. The full text can be found in the first BoRU linked above. RECAP / TL;DR Original Post: May 10, 2025 OOP lives in a semi-rural neighborhood with a hot spring-fed backyard hot tub and a stream running through the area, used by all neighbors for gardens and recreational purposes. OOP's neighbor, referred to as "CN" (Crazy Neighbor), is described as litigious and entitled, previously sued former homeowners and later trying to impose bizarre rules on the neighborhood, like claiming everyone should have access to each other's hot springs and that kids can play in private backyard streams. OOP has a neighbor, Jay, who has been on their side from day one. After moving in, OOP had an unpleasant encounter with CN, who tried to impose these rules on OOP's property. Despite being told no, CN's kids were caught playing in OOP's hot spring, and CN herself later hired workers to pipe hot spring water into her yard without OOP's permission. Once OOP confronted her, CN showed a questionable contract claiming OOP agreed to supply her with water, though OOP had no recollection of signing anything and planned to prove the document was forged. Things escalated when CN began dumping chemicals into the communal stream, poisoning OOP’s garden. OOP is considering legal action and gathering evidence to protect the property. They have also reached out to a lawyer for advice and are trying to figure out the next steps, including using video footage as evidence. In short: OOP's neighbor is wreaking havoc by stealing water and poisoning the stream, and OOP is looking for legal advice and ways to protect their property.   (Editor’s note: For the rest of the updates below prior to OOP’s newest ones, they are in OOP’s words as they contain important details in order to understand the context)   Test results: May 10, 2025 (four hours later) Update 1: Jay offered to use a large drum in his garage to temporarily remove the water from the stream and seeing your comments, I’m taking him up on his deal. All the neighbors down the street that I’ve talked to so far (two besides Jay) agreed. One who has two sons said that they might block off the start of the stream. It is a small outlet of a moderately sized creek. It will probably be blocked off not that hard. Jay said that he can probably get the drum in place by tonight as his dad can help. Jay also has a sweet dog and definitely wants to protect it. I am going to remove my plants from the soil nearby the stream. Also, for reference in size of the stream, it’s about 1-2 feet across. Truly just a stream. There’s lots of obstacles and things that would probably filter out, but we definitely still have to be safe. I’ll update later tonight or tomorrow. Update 2: Big news! The nice neighbors’ kids dammed up the stream at where it starts. It’s a couple pieces of wood, a branch or two, and a lot of small rocks. There’s still a tiny bit of water flowing, but it’s absorbed by the soil higher up before CN. Jay got the drum out, but we turned out not to need it. There’s water still in the pools in his backyard and we plan to do a water test. Apparently pH tests are sold in a store just 10 mins away, so I will head there as soon as I finish this post. Update 3: Jays getting the pH test and an oxygen level test, but I don’t know how oxygen levels would play into it. I’ll look at responses and figure out what to do next. I will call authorities soon. Update 4: The water test: pH came lower than the creek water before CN’s house (a full .9 lower). Nitrates a bit higher, Dissolved Oxygen significantly lower. That’s the only real changes in between the two tests. I wonder if she just poured a lot of vinegar. I think herbicides do change pH, but .9 is quite a bit I think.   Cops pick up crazy neighbor: May 11, 2025 (next day) Update 5: Big update! The makeshift dam broke and water has been flowing down, but it’s been slow. CN complained to a neighbor up the street that she’s on speaking terms with about me being a major asshole for not letting her kids use my hot spring tub. She let it slip that she poured vinegar in the stream as “justice”. The neighbor was also shown the contract for the pipes and she said that she didn’t even have it signed by me. She and her lawyer had signed it, but without any signature space for me. I thought that she forged my signature, but she didn’t have any agreement (fraudulent or otherwise) on my side whatsoever. The neighbor similarly dislikes her, but their kids are friends, so she has to talk to CN. I sent all the info to a local environmental charity that has contacts within environmental protection agencies. They usually deal with lakes and dumping, so this was in what they deal with regularly. The police were outside CN’s house a couple hours ago and took her to the station. CN is back at her house, now yelling over the fence profanities while I’m having a coffee. I don’t know if they arrested her and she payed bail or that she just was taken in for questioning or something. I know her brother in law works at the police station, but I wouldn’t doubt that her family members have a strained relationship with her. I hope that she’s stuck with a giant fine and/or jail time. CN’s lawyer still hasn’t served me regarding the pipes, and my lawyer is saying that CN has no case whatsoever. I’ll update as soon as anything interesting comes up. Update 6: My power just went out in most of my house. I think CN just flipped the breakers to annoy me. Going outside ASAP Update 7: CN indeed did flip the breakers. As far as I know, the security camera has an internal battery for some time after it’s disconnected from the power, so I don’t have to worry about her doing anything.   Revenge Tactics: May 11, 2025 (one hour later) While the government does its thing against my neighbor, I would like to do the most legal annoying thing to do. Currently, I'm thinking about removing the piping and separating the original cost. I think I will send every piece individually through a local copy/print/delivery shop. I know the owner and I think he would think it would be hilarious and agree to it. The plan (please help with it): 1) Remove the piping from the ground and separate every piece into small plastic baggies (and boxes). 2) Bring to copy/print/delivery shop 3) Plan deliveries of each package every period of time over a long time that require signage 4) Wait 5) Tip the copy/print/shop a hundred bucks What do you think? What else could I do?   The beginning of sweet revenge: May 11, 2025 (three hours later) I called the owner of the copy/print/delivery shop and he agreed to what I said in the previous post. I removed all of the pipes from my yard and put them into bags. I didn’t have as much plastic bags and boxes as I thought so I’m paying extra for the owner of the copy shop to supply them. He just delivered the first one to CN (I watched from the street) and CN’s husband answered. He shouted for CN and she came up. I didn’t hear any of the discussion, but she signed delivery sheet, took the package (of a single small corner pipe piece), and stormed into her house. She went up to the 2nd story window and proceeded to glare at me since, still glaring as I sit on my couch while writing this. Working from home will be so nice for watching this.   Crazy Neighbor's weak jabs at me: May 11, 2025 (four hours later) Since my last post, there has been one more pipe delivery to CN and she is pissed. She stormed over to my house (after signing the delivery which I thought she would stop doing) and banged on the door. I started recording my front door and opened the door (I'm not dumb enough to let her in). CN starts shrieking about how I'm awful and that I had to keep the pipes installed as it was her property and that we had a contract. When I told her that the contract wasn't legal at all, she starts screaming at me. I stepped inside for a second and called the police with the door closed. CN continues banging on my door. I don't open until a police car comes down the street. I tell the police that I don't want her ever to be on my property and that she is trespassing. They relay that to her, and she takes up a hurt old lady act (for reference, she is in her 40s). CN tells them that my hot tub burned her youngest child and that I was luring kids in. I showed the police the camera footage and they asked her to come to the station with them. I'm assuming that she made some fake report, but I guess that will be another charge of lying to a police officer. I think that the officer (not CN's brother-in-law) believed me and saw that she was in fact a CN. I saw CN get back into her house and once again went up to the top window, staring. I closed the blinds. I thought she would stop (honestly it doesn't bother me), but to my surprise, she crosses the street to the side of the hill (there’s a slope on the other side of the street from the houses. There's more houses up the slope) and stares through my front window. I don't have blinds for that one and was about to head to a different room when I see her trip backwards (there’s a small ditch for runoff) and land on her butt. CN lets out a ungodly shriek (it wasn't that loud, but I'd like to say it was) as she storms back into her house. I feel at this point, with all of the stuff from my lawyer, from reddit, and neighbors saying that I am completely in the right and that CN is insane has made this more into entertainment than a scary situation for me. I have multiple locks arriving in a couple days and a new security camera for the side yard. If you have any legal suggestions, please tell me. If there's anything I should be aware of, please tell me.   Pulling back and going forwards legally: May 12, 2025 (next day) I’ve been told that messing with CN is probably not going to help out legally, especially with a restraining order, so I just told the copy shop owner just to deliver it all at once. I don’t know if that’s happened yet, but I’m fine not being looking when I happens. I will file a restraining order today. I don’t know how it works, but I hope I can complete it today. No new news from CN except Jay saying that she looked really mad. I know this isn’t a big update, but it’s an update on the situation.   Husband comes over to talk: May 13, 2025 (next day) This happened last night and I was too tired to update after it. CN's husband (I'll call him NH for neighbor husband) knocked on my door last night, alone. CN wasn't there, so I answered it. He then tells me that CN is "going through some things right now" and some other stuff. He then asks me if I could "let sleeping dogs lie. She did some stuff wrong, but she's a really great person". I told him that I would consider it. I'm not, but I didn't want to be in that conversation. I honestly thought that he would apologize about it, but making excuses like that is so pathetic. According to many of my neighbors, CN's been like this for years. I think he's trying to cover themselves from the bomb they just planted. That's all. New updates probably coming soon.   Some resolution (but not in the way you think): May 14, 2025 (next day) I was typing this out earlier, but it didn’t save as a draft so I will paraphrase it instead of writing it all out like earlier. I went out to get my mail and I noticed CN rush out of her house onto her porch to watch me. I take the mail and head inside. Through the endless sea of junk mail, there was a wedding invitation. Nobody I know remotely nearby is getting married and I didn’t recognize the names or the faces. On the back was a handwritten letter thanking me for volunteering my house for the bachelorette party and inviting me to wedding at a local venue. 1) Definitely did NOT invite anyone to use my property for a party 2) My backyard isn’t the biggest for a party 3) I don’t know who these people are I took a picture of the front and the back and then went and made a copy of the invitation and cut it to the right size. I then took the copy and walked in front of CN’s house (in the street). She is looking from the door. I then light the copy on fire (safely). She runs out and starts yelling at me. I am not entirely listening as I had an earbud in my left ear listening to a podcast (I listen to podcasts while doing my routines and hadn’t bothered to take it out) and at one point, I heard the groom’s name. Clearly she was behind it (I knew before, this just solidified the fact). I called her husband and told him that I was not hosting the bachelorette party and to leave me alone. He asks which one. I told him the names of the bride and groom. He is audibly surprised. He then tells me that the groom is CN’s son from a teenage pregnancy (not with him). He then said that he would talk to CN about it, calling it an accident. I find the name of the dad of the groom and call him. He sounded super genuinely grateful when I told him who I was. I asked him about CN and he said that she had left the baby with him and when he had sued for child support, the judge said that it was his poor choices that led to the baby and he was responsible for it, without child support. I told him the situation, and he sounded defeated. Apparently, the groom had been quick to forgive his absent mother (CN) and had invited her against the dad’s wishes. He said that he would tell the groom and the bride about the situation. I then had a thought that would be the absolute perfect revenge: I offered to host the party for free with 2 rules 1) They don’t damage anything and clean everything up 2) CN is blocked at the door of the wedding despite her invitation 3) My invite to the wedding still stands. He said he would discuss it with the bride and groom. Even if he says no, it’s worth a try. I just realized I typed it all up in detail despite what I said at the beginning. I will probably get the news in the next couple days.   It was worth a try: May 15, 2025 (next day) Groom's dad (GD), Groom, and Bride I was looking over some comments just before posting this and realized I don't want to be screwed over, so I am staying back. Also, GD gave me a call extremely late last night and told me that Groom wanted to meet his mom (CN) at the wedding. Bride was supportive, thinking it would be an extremely wholesome wedding. GD said that he would try to find another location for the party, but that it would be hard this late as Bride had a large bridesmaids group. GD is going to help CN with preparing for the wedding at his son's request, even though he thinks it might be a disaster. My plants that are near the stream look scorched as if they were in a fire. (I'm talking about the plants that are next and around the stream, not in my garden. I think the next steps are through legal means and not through petty actions. I will keep you all updated.   Piecing parts together: May 15, 2025 (six hours later) CN had been trying to gain access to the hot spring for as long as she's known of it. She had tried lawsuits, land disputes, and other legal and legally dubious means to get it. When she heard of her son becoming married, she thought that she could have a good attempt at gaining access to the hot spring. CN had initially offered to use her house for a price for the bridesmaids party, but since it didn't have anything good for a party, Bride had declined. She couldn't find another place though, but still didn't want CN's house. CN had then had the bright idea to tell the Bride and Groom that she had had a natural, healing, and amazing hot spring in her yard and Bride said yes. This is when CN tries the whole piping the hot spring to her yard. She obviously doesn't get far into that plan. After I dismantle all the piping, she volunteers my house and backyard for the party. I think that the stream pollution was lashing out because she was mad before she volunteered my house. No updates besides what I've pieced together from assorted sources.   Revenge is back in action, without me needing to participate: May 15, 2025 (seven hours later) GD called me about 10 mins ago. I was going to post the update right away, but I was reading some of the comments. This is what he said, and asked if my offer about hosting the bridesmaids party was still standing (this is heavily paraphrased to be readable, but all the main points and events are there). GD met up with CN to talk to her about the wedding, mostly setting boundaries. He went to her house (with his phone recording just in case anything happened, knowing the history of CN). GD is talking to CN very formally, as much straight facts as possible when he glances through a cracked open door into her bedroom. I don't remember the word he used to describe it (it was a very good way to say it), but kind of out of the corner of your vision when you're avoiding eye contact. GD sees multiple white dresses laying on CN's bed. They are fancy dresses. Not quite wedding dresses, but definitely close. GD can't stop staring at it. He then asks CN about what she's wearing to the wedding, and CN says that she has a couple dresses picked out. He connects the dots and subtly leaves the conversation, calls Bride and Groom and tells them what he saw. He then gives Groom some of CN's history. Bride then asks if they can do the house with the hot spring then. GD tells me that he knows that I don't like CN and that I wouldn't be at the wedding, but that the rest of the deal would stand. I told him sure, but not to let CN know about it, just letting herself think that I got pushed around by him into hosting. I know that the agencies I contacted about her pouring vinegar into the creek have been investigating, so even though it likely wouldn't, I hope it all falls out on the day of the wedding   CN Angry: May 17, 2025 (two days later) I’ve been asked for an update. There has not been much crazy neighbor activity over the time that I haven’t updated. I think she installed a step stool on her side of the fence as she’s been looking evil eying me whenever I’m in the hot tub. The weddings coming up next weekend, so I’m interested in what’s going to happen. Not much has happened besides that.   Really funny mini-revenge: May 20, 2025 (three days later) Ok, I’ve been told to skinny dip in the hot spring. I’m not doing that. I am not socially ok enough for my neighbor to see, even if it’s to get revenge. I do know some people who are. This happened yesterday around 1, just for reference. I tell some friends who are comfortable in their own bodies that they could hang out in the hot tub and I’m not going to be there, so they could do whatever. I more asked them to do it after I gave a little bit of backstory of the neighbor. They happily agreed and they came around 1. I left for a nice long lunch when they came and I told them to call me if anything happened. I also turned off the back security camera just to not be weird. Not 30 minutes later do the COPS call me asking if I was ok with the people in my backyard. CN had called the cops for a trespassing (hypocrite) and they had arrived and talked to my friends. They had my number and they called me. I told them that I invited them over and the cops left. I didn’t get a call this time, but the police were called again for my friends “exposing themselves to children”. The police knew that they were in a private backyard, but still came and pretty much left almost immediately after (it was the same officers I think). That’s all. I don’t think I’m going to do anything until the wedding. Thank you for the astounding amounts of comments, it’s absolutely insane.   Creek modifications: May 20, 2025 (three hours later) My neighbor 2 houses down just came up to me and asked if I would allow the stream to be changed in my yard (Jay already said yes). There’s a landscaping company that’s going to be installing limestone along the creek for acid neutralization or something like that. My neighbor 2 houses down does have a garden similar to mine and I guess that’s why. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks   The Wedding: May 25, 2025 (five days later) I haven’t updated in a while even though some stuff is happened just so I could save it for this giant update. I am so shocked by what happened and I guess I should have listened to some advice about being safe. Also, I phrased the update about the card wrong as the bridesmaids party was last night and the wedding is today (the ceremony just finished just a couple minutes ago and I got the news of what happened by a mutual friend who went to the wedding (I didn’t know he was a mutual friend or going to the wedding. I told him about the situation a while ago and he decided to let me know). Friday: CN kept looking over the fence. I would have turned on sprinklers, but I don’t have any because I don’t really have grass in my backyard. Later in the day, a police car pulled into CN’s driveway and a bit after, it left. CN’s “revenge” of staring at me continued a lot more after that. I don’t understand why she wastes her time doing it. It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. Saturday: Some people knocked on my door midday asking if I could let them into the backyard to set up for the bridal party. I called GD and he said it was the right people (just to be safe). They set up some surprisingly expensive and nice decorations and furniture in the yard (not in a destructive way). People come in and out while setting up and the backyard looks amazing. CN continuously peered over the fence for a good amount of time, but I didn’t care. Around 6, Bride and all the bridesmaids (I’ll do M for bridesmaids) (also about 20 bridesmaids there). I stayed inside mostly, but they occasionally asked me to come out and they drunkenly thanked me. I think the Ms were very wealthy as I received a little over 3K in “tips” from them as I occasionally brought out a carton of ice cream. Well worth it I think. More to the events of the party. CN had a campfire in her backyard around 9, but there wasn’t really any wind, so the smoke just stayed in her yard. I think she tried to smoke us out, but maybe she was just having a little fire (I doubt it though). She then gets her hose to put out the fire and “accidentally” sprays water over the fence. Eventually, once the party winds down and they’re packing up, Bride hands a card signed by all of them thanking me for hosting with additional tips inside (about 2K). I was honestly stunned how nice they were. Around 11, a very drunk CN bangs on my front door as I’m about to go to sleep. I don’t answer, but have the video on the doorbell camera. She leaves after a bit and I go to bed. This morning: this is a secondhand account, so I won’t have all the details. CN comes to the wedding in her very white dress and demands to be let in, but the security denies her. She tries to push the security, but he isn’t fazed. People were watching, but my friend who was there had to go do something (I didn’t ask what). When he gets back, CN isn’t there. What’s happening on my side: this is my account that is right after, but before I got the news about what happened. CN bangs on my door and tries the knob. Since I was getting groceries a bit before, I had accidentally left it unlocked. She comes into my house. I call the cops as soon as I see her open my door. I run upstairs while I give the info to the cops. CN screams at me and eventually slaps me in the face. I’m screaming at her to leave and she tries to slap me again. I grab her wrist and she screams. I basically drag her out the front door right as the police arrive. She is put in the back of the cop car and the police interview me. I tell them and they leave, then I get the news. CN is not back. I honestly won’t argue with people about if this is true or not as what happened this morning doesn’t feel real even though I just lived through it.   Editor’s note: this is the last post we were left off Final Update: FAFO: June 6, 2025 This is probably the final update as I doubt any new updates will come. CN still hasn’t come back from the police station, or she’s been hiding in her house. If she hasn’t come back (which I think), I think she might have not been able to pay bail, but I have no legal knowledge really. She’s apparently facing north of 3 years in jail, but there’s a good chance she’ll get less or not at all. I grilled some food Saturday and hosted a good amount of the neighborhood. As much as I would like to say I was cool and collected after the assault, I felt a bit shaky and not great, so having some people over seemed like a good idea. I think it’s mostly worked. Last night, I went in the hot spring and it was really nice to hang out.   ----NEW UPDATES---- An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor: November 24, 2025 (5.5 months later from the previous update) An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor I really didn’t think I would do an update as I thought that my CN would finally stop after getting legal punishment. She so far has only with me. One of my very nice neighbors who has the kids who volunteered to help stop the creek earlier this year is well liked throughout the neighborhood. I think I’ll call her Donna because I don’t want to put her name here after someone found out what city I live in. So she often helps with babysitting kids for a couple hours for a simple IOU. It’s thanksgiving break for all the kids so lots of people are going on vacation or visiting family. CN and her husband are currently in California. You may think ‘oh where are her kids’. She left all 3 of her kids at the doorstep of Donna with an envelope that has $50 to pay for the 2 weeks that they’re at the beach. The thing is, Donna and her whole family is in the Midwest for the week visiting family for Thanksgiving. CN’s kids were out at the door for hours (presumably in the cold rain) before another neighbor noticed them and asked what they were doing. The kids said that Donna had agreed to have them until their parents got back, but obviously Donna wasn’t there. They didn’t want to call the cops as they thought it was a misunderstanding, so they brought the kids around until a newer family agreed to watch them until it was sorted out. CN isn’t responding to any attempts to reach her, and nobody wants to bring the cops into it. Donna’s pissed and said that she won’t come back to babysit them and that there was no deal ahead of time. I’m just an observer in this so far, so this is more of a neighbor update. Probably going to have another update or two. Any recommendations? Nobody in the neighborhood wants anyone with the government involved really, and it’s not really involving me, so I doubt my voice will be heard or taken seriously. I don’t know. Thanks Update: Pretty big consensus I should call CPS. I think I will but not tell anyone I did. CN is not a good person. If you want to know what the full situation is, I’d look at the old post. It’s archived so I think you can still see it. Update 2: it wasn’t me, but someone called the cops earlier and by the time I called, they said that someone was at the house already. Currently, they’re trying to contact CN and her husband, but so far no luck. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: CPS should be called... idk if you're counting that as "government" but CN abandoned her kids for 2 WEEKS! It's child abandonment, plain and simple. She needs to come get her kids and if you guys can't get her to do it, I bet CPS will. They are there for the kids and to ensure their safety. OOP: I’ve said that but the family that’s having them now think that it’s cruel to the kids and would break up the family. It’s their choice in the end I guess :/ Commenter 2: What’s cruel to the kids is thinking you bumpkins know what’s best for them and protecting a deadbeat. Kids need stability. If their parents can’t provide that then you are doing them a massive disservice by not calling cps. No “family” leaves their kids in another state without knowing their wellbeing or making sure they are safe. OOP: I know. CN is definitely not a good parent but a lot of the people in the neighborhood haven’t like directly seen stuff and I’m not really involved right now so I don’t really have a say. Calling the cops or anyone will just reflect really negatively on me because I think they just think it’s a misunderstanding right now. OOP on the said kids' ages OOP: I don’t know exactly, but probably 9,10,11? In spring the youngest was 8 and they’re very similar in age so it’s a guess Commenter 3: Did she get any jail time based on the breaking and entering she committed post wedding? OOP: Not as far as I know. A giant fine and a giant amount of community service I think. OOP on if CN got fined for pouring vinegar into the creek water? OOP: She already got fined a giant amount due to my reporting of it to a local environmentalist group and then taking it to the authorities.   Editor's note: the next latest update was rehashed in the previous update Not good update on child abandoning neighbor: November 28, 2025 (four days later) Not good update on child abandoning neighbor So yesterday, CN actually responded to a call and when asked about everything, she sent screenshots from months ago where Donna said that she could possibly babysit them for the two weeks, but she was still making plans with her family about visiting them. Donna said that it would be $2000 for the two weeks, but she wasn’t sure if she could and that she would let her know if she could do it and not to count on it. CN played it off as a big misunderstanding with Donna as the fault and pretty much everyone believed her. So the kids are staying at the newer family’s house for the remaining time in exchange for $1000 from CN. I’d say $1000 in exchange for not being arrested is a pretty good deal for CN that she does not deserve. At least the kids looked super happy spending thanksgiving with the family and were playing with their family in the yard for much of yesterday. I guess everyone forgot that the kids brought $50 instead of $2000. :/ What should I do? Relevant Comments Commenter: So is this all done? Timestamps show this discussion took place awhile ago and there was no follow up. Does CN have friends in higher up places or is CPS moving at a holiday pace? OOP: I think CPS left the situation after CN convinced everyone it was a misunderstanding. It happened yesterday and the day before, but started at the beginning of their thanksgiving break   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Junior_Duck8089 in r/TwoHotTakes trigger warnings: violence, abuse, attempted murder, cancer mood spoilers: hopeful Editor’s note: I made slight grammatical changes and altered some titles. ———————————————   Part 1 - AITA for bashing my sister in the head with a Christmas present and telling her to consider me dead? - 7 Oct 2023 So this situation happened December of last year, just before I left for a college program in Orlando. I (20F) have never gotten along with my younger sister (18F) who has various mental health issues and a personal vendetta against me I will never fully understand. She hurt me a lot when we were kids, and not in a “sisters hair pulling” kind of way. We’re talking burning me with irons on purpose, trying to hold me under the pool water when my parents weren’t around (she’s a larger girl compared and later on I’ll explain why this is), cutting my hair, cutting me with scissors, ripping heads off my dolls, and even would tell lies about me at school- like how she said I got hit by a bus and died in the 5th grade. When I was a sophomore the issues between us only got worse and worse. I started trying to stand up for myself more and while my Mother would separate us when things seemed to go too far (because I’ll admit I’m no angel, I had my share of unkind words and jabs), however when we stayed at my Dad’s it was a much different story. He would go into his room and sleep if get so angry he couldn’t handle it, so he walked away; which would lead to my worst nightmare. While eating dinner I tried to pause the tv to use the restroom and my sister got mad. I told her not to unpause it until I came back, but she didn’t wait for me and I got upset and called her a bitch. Again, I had my fair share of insults, but never one time had I been violent with her- I’ve only ever put my hands up or ran away. That day, however, she decided violence would be the only answer to my calling her that as she took the steak knife from her dinner plate and held it to my neck. It was like time froze for me. I don’t even remember to this day when she put it down or how I ended up on the floor- just the smell of the food, the way it felt against my neck, and that she said she wanted to kill me. I do remember running to tell my Dad, but he was out cold and so instead I went to bed and put a chair behind my door because I was scared. I actually called 911 but ended up saying it was an accidental dial because I was scared of what they would do to my sister. The next day my grandmother picked us up and took me to school (my mom homeschooled my sister after finding out she was bullying some girls at her school and stealing money from my grandmother’s fundraiser- she also had kids sign a ‘petition’ to rename me as ‘dumb hoe’ or something) where I had a full on panic attack in the bathroom mirror. I don’t know what caused it. I may sound dramatic but I really only remember bits and pieces of what happened that day to lead me to the counselors’ office, where I spilled everything. I waited in her office for what felt like a million years when my Mom came in along with a police officer and my grandma (Dad’s Mom). Two days of sleeping at grandma’s later, we get a call my sister is in a jail cell for the night. She had attacked my mother, who recently had stomach surgery, and tried to hit her in the stitches. My mom ended up going to the hospital because of the bruising and my sister was trying to claim child abuse after my mother got her to the ground by the back of her neck. She only managed to call 911 because my grandpa lived one house away and heard all the commotion. She ended up admitting to the officers she didn’t want to kill my mother but she “really really wanted to hurt (my name) because she took my life.” I still don’t know what she meant by that. Fast forward after various behavioral facilities, ins/outs of public school, and multiple different medication/therapy trials- she and I started to get better during the pandemic, though there was an entire city distance from each other. She still made comments about me and would fly off the handle but she hadn’t been violent in a long time. Now that you know our history, let’s go back to December: The first incident was when dad dropped a Christmas present she’d gotten her dog and the paper scratched a bit. She waited until he went back to grab more from the house and (with me in the back seat) took his phone, keys, and wallet before trying to speed off and nearly wrecking us into the neighbors fence before my dad jumped infront of the car and started banging on the window. Mind you, her therapist had informed my dad to tell any family of ours to record this kind of behavior: so that’s what I did. I sent it to my Mom to talk to Dad about later (I try to seem involved as little as possible on her mental space). At Christmas with Mom, I won $200 in lottery tickets, and she won only $8 which lead to her wishing me dead and leaving without any of the gifts I’d worked to buy her. And finally, the straw that broke the camels back for me, was when she lunged at me from across the room while opening presents with my elderly grandmother and so I slammed the Christmas gift in my hand right into her face. She’d seen the video on mom’s phone while trying to send herself pictures of the day. Because of this, in the eyes of some, I may deserve it- but I was done. And when she told me she hoped I got assaulted and murdered in Orlando, that she wished I never come home and claimed I’d ruined her life, I was broken. She ran off crying and I chased her into the other room telling her that she should consider me a stranger. As far as she was concerned, I wasn’t family to her anymore and she was dead to me. I go home today. I have had her blocked on every piece of media or contact possible, I even deleted any pictures of us. I am done with her. And these past 10 months away from her, with no contact, have made me realize just how much better my life is without the anxiety she brings in it. But now that I’m coming home, my grandmother wants me to apologize even though my sister told her she hates to breath the same air as me, let alone see my face. Should I apologize and AITA? Edit: I have a LOT of people asking what I hit her with. It was a makeup mini fridge. Also I forgot to explain what I meant by why she is ‘larger’ than me. She had a growth spurt at the age of 11 and even (tmi) got her period before me. She’s struggled with weight loss her entire life after the fact.   Relevant Comments   [deleted]: She sounds like a budding murderer. I think you should go no contact for your own safety. She’s not your problem. Start a new chapter in your life and breathe easy for once. MaydaysMom: NTA I am surprised that your sister isn’t permanently institutionalized by now. Whatever help she has been given isn’t working. Do not apologize, your parents and grandmother should be apologizing to you for putting you through this your whole life. I would have an order of protection out against her with no end date. This is not normal. TheAndreaDonoso: This... just with the first paragraph I thought "why is she not in a mental facility?" Is not normal at all... unless OP is not telling everything and she did something really wrong or their upbringing was really violent, her behavior doesn't make any sense. OOP: That’s something that’s always confused me: we have a good life outside of all this! We aren’t poor, aren’t rich. Middle class. Parents (had) split custody and got along well enough. maccrogenoff: NTA. You have nothing to apologize for so you shouldn’t apologize. The people who owe apologies here are every member of your family who didn’t protect you from your sister. They owe you apologies and reparations. I would advise you against living with your mother considering your sister’s violent vindictiveness and your family members’ inability to protect you. If I were you, I would move away, get a restraining order against your sister and not tell any of your family members where you live. Your sister wants to kill you. Take that seriously. OOP: My mother has banned her from her home. That was our agreement when I agreed to move back in with her and my step father. I also informed my dad (a few minutes ago actually) me and my grandmother (his mom) who wants us to ‘let things go’ are only to meet in public places when I have my own vehicle so I can leave if she ever shows. superwholockian: NTA. WTF took you so long to disown her? OOP: If I’m honest: mostly pressure by my family members. The only people who have never pressure me to get along with her in the past is my mother (who only speaks to her via text and sees her maybe once every 3 months at the restaurant my sister works at), my step father (he’s an officer himself now and actually knows some connections now if I choose to press charges in the future), my aunts and uncles on my mother’s side, my uncle (dad’s brother who was on my side for years saying something wasn’t normal about my sister), and my little brother. catsmom63: NTA. It sounds like the sister is a danger to herself and others. Does she go to therapy? Does she have a diagnosis? Based on the fact she has tried to hurt multiple people I don’t understand why she isn’t institutionalized by the state? OOP: At first they thought it was a form of aggravated ADD and while others suggest personality disorders, the only real thing they can all agree on (she’s seen maybe 3 therapists, spent a week at a behavioral facility, and actively tried around 9+ different forms of medication) is that she seems to actually somewhat calm down when she’s on high doses of estrogen. StructureKey2739: Seems? OOP: It’s hard to tell at times because she sometimes also self-isolates. They often notice she is able to rationalize and act less impulsive when on high doses of estrogen. Francie1966: Do you have a friend you can stay with? OOP: She lives with my dad at the moment because my mother banned her from the house when I agreed to come home to finish up my degree. [downvoted comment]: There it is. You left the most important part out. Sounds like that's what she meant by you took her life- right? You said she had no idea what that could mean.. but you literally took her place. I can see why the grandmother wants you to apologize. She was displaced from her home when the favorite daughter came home. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Not to mention you are taping her and sending it to people. I wonder now what was said or done that caused her to pull a knife on you.. or did that even happen? […] Both of you are violent and have severe issues. I hope you are getting help also. OOP: I’ve tried to see in her view multiple times but I really can’t understand it. Like I said in my post, I’m no angel, and you’re right to say that maybe I could have been a better person/example at times. But I’m always the one who has to say sorry. I’m the one who has to let her do what she wants and cancel plans to fit her. I’m the one whose had to cut off family because they defend her actions and now I’m likely having to go LC with more after coming home. I’m no angel, but I don’t see how anyone deserves this feeling. I’m not looking for a pity party either I just want advice and (honestly) to rant. I can’t tell people about these things in my daily life. I’m from a small town where people talk and everyone knows everyone. Trust is hard for me here. OOP on the extent of her sister’s injuries: I really just reacted without thinking. It was so sudden I barely registered what I’d done until seconds after it happened. I hit her with a makeup mini fridge and there was a bit of red (not blood!!!) on the side of the face/head where I hit her with it. On previous fights: I’m not really much of a physical fighter. Aside from the Christmas incident and maybe a few hair pulls in self defense, I’m more of a verbal type gal. On possibly confronting her sister in the future: I don’t think I could ever do that. I’m too worried she’ll explode on me.   Part 2 - Need Advice! - 11 Oct 2023 (4 days later) First off, thank you all so much for your advice and kind words. When I first posted it was (admittedly) more of a venting session due to stress more than anything but your recommendations and encouragement have helped lift me up in ways I can’t put into words. That being said I feel it would be wrong to not update you all on my current situation, should anything happen in the future. And sadly, at this time, I do need more advice. This week as I moved in I spoke to my Mother, who agreed (though I would have went through with it anyways) it would be best to go less contact with my grandmother and her siblings who agree with her. My Dad doesn’t like it but says he understands and won’t say a word about my whereabouts to my Grandmother until after the fact. However we have an entirely new storm about to brew: My Dad’s brother’s wife (my aunt) wants to do a big family picture as we haven’t had one since 2017, when things with my sister reached it’s peak. EVERYONE involved in this picture keeps bugging me about it. Sending me outfit ideas, texting me times and locations, asking me to plan poses for them (I was and still technically am a contract model which somehow makes me an expert in all things photography, despite me never holding a pro camera in my life???). I honestly don’t know how to say I can’t be in a family picture if my sister is there and, knowing them, if I ask them to choose between us I know it will end with them trying to make me compromise and be ‘as far away as possible’ or ‘make it quick and easy, we wouldn’t even have to talk.’ If you were me, what would you say? Because I really don’t know if I’m ready to be in the same room as her yet, if ever. Decision made: I will suddenly have a false positive Covid test this November. Thank you. (Also might steal that cardboard cutout idea if they give me too much shit before I put them in ‘time out’ as suggested by another user.)   Part 3 - Card in the Car - 24 Oct 2023 (2 weeks later) (Another update on my situation- if you aren’t up to speed all of my post are captioned the same but in parts as I update. These posts are not for ‘clout’ purposes and are strictly to update those concerned for my situation or give insight to those going through similar issues.) Since moving back home I have remained completely NC with my younger sister and LC with my grandmother (Dad’s Side). It’s been great. I have 3 job interviews scheduled, made a small amount of money taking up baby sitting jobs for relatives and friends. I will say my Dad has been much more supportive throughout the NC process than I thought he would be. He’s only mentioned reconnecting once and after I explained my reasoning for wanting to remain NC he immediately dropped it. This last week I did some home improvements at his place while my sister was at work and our paths only crossed once but we were in our vehicles as I was leaving so I never saw her face to face. For those concerned about her pets, they seem to be taken care of well enough though part of the home improvements I worked on involved flooring that swelled from where she didn’t clean up the dog’s urine in a corner of her bedroom. Dad now charges her rent after that. Instead of paying me my Dad decided to give me a car. It’s his old one from work that he’s fully paid off and since he’s getting a new truck he won’t need it any more. The only thing is his old work car more or less became a driving trash dump. It’s littered with soda cans, food bins, old welding equipment, and (as I’d soon find) unused condoms. While I was cleaning it out at my Mom’s place I found a letter addressed to me under some of the trash. It seemed old enough with stains on it from whatever rolled on top of it. “My names on it- I may as well open it,” I’d thought to myself before realizing it was from my sister. 3 years ago. For my High school graduation. I never even knew she got me anything and honestly after seeing it I don’t know how to feel. I’m not sure why but it made me second guess if I’d been too harsh on her in the past, then I remembered everything she did and practically threw it in a drawer and walked away. That was two days ago. I just feel weird having it now and while I have no intention of contacting her still I wonder if there was ever a time she really cared for me. It may sound stupid and silly to some but she’s never actually written anything so nice to me or given me anything outside of Christmas. Not even for my birthday. Is it normal to question these things or think this way? Edit because I forgot: I am starting therapy in two weeks. Being a small town the options are limited, especially with insurance. I’m hopeful I’ll get in sooner.   Relevant Comments   MissMurderpants: What did the letter say? Did she start acting out on you as she became a preteen or has she always been like this towards you? OOP: It started off when we were younger with things like cutting, burning, hair pulling, lying to people saying I was dead, etc. It has gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. The letter just said it was from her and I worked hard to graduate despite my struggles with ADHD. MissMurderpants: There are some mental illnesses that start to manifest when people reach puberty. OOP: I still wonder to this day if it’s not partly a hormonal issue. The more advice I get and the more people I reach out to about my situation the more I realize there is this huge emotional and mental issue, yes, but I wonder if there’s a more chemical aspect to it. A little TMI: She got her period before me and her body started to undergo its… female changes… at around 10-12 years old (I think 11 but I can’t be 100% right now). Around that same time her actions toward me seemed to get worse and worse. I’m getting tired of looking for answers I may never have tho so I’m trying not to look into her mental/physical health much further. I think trying to find a cause over all these years has almost driven me insane. [deleted]: Your sister sounds like the medical definition of a psychopath or psychopathic tendencies towards you at least. Maybe she resents you for being older, better looking (yes making assumption based on weight and the fact you said you model.) what could have started out as a childhood resentment for multiple reasons has grown into a full on hatred it seems like. You know what she’s like and what she has done to you, most everyone who has siblings has fought or still fights with them; I highly doubt the average gets a knife to their throat and ptsd over it though. So hold your ground for your own safety, the card could’ve been a few reasons: the abuser honestly felt bad for what they had done for a moment and tried to change, the abuser is trying to make you let your guard down so they can continue in their aggressive ways; or even possibly you parent(s) pushed her into showing a heart warming gesture for what some consider a life milestone. In any of those cases the guilt does not fall to you in anyway, choose your safety first. If you’re concerned for your family, well we can’t really make people change their minds, they have to figure it out for themselves more often than not. If family keeps pushing, stick to your reasons and don’t forget them, and just say nothing can change until she gets some serious therapy… for years   Part 4 - Mom has cancer. Taking the picture and leaving. - deleted by OOP, recovered with Unddit - 9 Nov 2023 (2 weeks later) Smaller update: I didn’t get the teller job but they kept my resume for future positions. I did, however, get a job working for my Mother’s boss as a secretary. It pays well and I honestly am alone a lot so it’s been good for some self/reflection. I also got a boyfriend! He’s a little bit on the country side and we’ve had a few political debates but I’ve never had a guy make me feel this way. He’s become a major supporter of me and is actually a prison guard and state-trooper hopeful. I guess opposites really do attract sometimes, because while he’s out hunting deer I’m watch RuPaul’s Drag Race re-runs. I also dropped out of college. I couldn’t handle it atop all my other personal issues. The bigger update(s): As my caption says, my family has been hit hard by my mother’s recent cancer diagnosis. At first we were told since it was her thyroid, which according to the doctor is the ‘best’ type of cancer you can have, it should be a simple removal. Turns out it’s much more serious than that but I’m going to only speak lightly on it, as we are waiting to learn more before we tell anyone outside of direct family and I want to properly update on the situation. Now for the latest thing my family has tried to pull. I made a deal with my family. If my sister is there, I won’t be unless they make sure she stays a number of feet away. After that we go back to our regularly schedule NC. Everyone seemed fine with that. I said I’d get in a picture with her and Dad, who despite our issues I know would take her down if she tried anything. Am I going to put myself at some risk? Yes. But unlike the rest of my family I am driving myself and can leave at anytime, plus I’m a former model with the photographer they selected and he has been aware of our situation for some time as a close friend which gives me some comfort that he’ll move us as far as possible for photos. Why did I agree? Because my LC grandmother is in bad health. I think that’s why she has pushed for us to ‘make up’ so badly which is no excuse in my eyes but gives me some clarity. It may be our last chance at a big family photo. I don’t want to deny my cousins of this. They have always loved and supported me. I feel security in knowing how many people are on my side and will be vigilant when it comes to her behavior. [Editor’s note: I was unable to recover the image included in this post.] The message above however is between me and my Dad after my aunt texted in the group chat a paper detailing of what shots she really wants. One is me and my sister. Together. On a bridge. Alone. I sent the above message to my dad basically saying absolutely the f*ck not and I haven’t heard back since. Now that blanket of security I felt feels like it’s slowly tearing away after reading that and his lack of response. There’s still time to back out but now it would just cause even more bullshit and I’m honestly lost as to what to do.   Part 5 - Sister is at it again - 23 Dec 2023 (1 month later) (Hey guys! I have decided to start tagging as ‘personal write in’ since I’ve finally come to terms I can’t control these things and no longer need to question if I am at fault for me and my sister’s situation.) So. My sister has started once again with her hatred towards me at the family holiday. I made the recent decision I would be civil so we can have Christmas all together for the sake of mom. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned this in my previous update but she was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer since my coming home. Strange as it may sound the doctors say it’s the best cancer to have? Still, she’s scared to death going through something I could never understand and made the promise that she’d keep my sister as far away as humanly possible. Unlike other family members she didn’t really even push me- just suggested it. I hesitated but knowing how many events my mother has went without all of her children and all of the stress she’s went through lately I just agreed. I’m already starting to regret my decision. I don’t feel scared I’ll be physically harmed because if she tries anything I now have a 6’1” prison guard/self-declared gym ‘nut’ (my bf) to keep her away. He’s one of the few people who I’ve told everything to. And because he says he loves me I guess my sister hates him. She messaged mom on Facebook a few weeks prior that if he came to our family gifts with us then she’d not show. That if I was at the gingerbread night she was going to leave. She never even came to gingerbread night yesterday and after mom posted Facebook images of the event my sister went crazy online. Posting how she’s the ‘stranger’ and black sheep of our family. Cursing out my mother in comment sections and even not coming to our extended family Christmas breakfast today because of it. My boyfriend offered to just see me later Christmas morning and I told him it would be different if it wasn’t because she hates me. Like, if mom wanted it to just be family, I may be less comfortable but it’s fine because she never stays long. But she’s targeting my bf because she hates me and refuses to show because of me being there- I just know I’ll feel a lot of guilt because mom is going to be so hurt and I really don’t know if she’ll come. I don’t really need advice here, I guess I’m posting today because my mind is full of holiday worry for a mom who may not be here next year and has always supported me through this.   Relevant Comments   No_Astronaut2795: If this is real, I have no idea why you would put yourself in this situation again. OOP: I don’t want to, truly, but family means everything to me and I’d do just about anything for my mother except be alone in a room with this person or somewhere with people I know will always turn a blind eye to what she does. It’s unlikely my sister will come, and a big part of me is praying she doesn’t, but I know my mother will be hurt. Like someone else said- holidays come with unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Add that with her medical situation (which I must say the more people message me, the better I feel about it) and its just makes things so worse in my mind. d0rm0use2: 2 things. As a thyroid cancer survivor, it’s the “best” to have cause it’s easy to fix. You can survive without a thyroid and take meds. 2nd - screw your sister. OOP: The more people have messaged me the better I have felt about it. I think it’s the word “cancer” in general that puts me into a spin. If it’s ok, do you mind if I ask if you had any struggles after? Health wise or physically. I am going to help her through recovery since my job is only part-time and I’ll be home more than others. Floomby: This is not within your power to fix, so set that particular guilt aside. You cannot control your sister. You cannot fix her mental health, or control her reaction to anything. Therefore, you cannot provide that perfect family reunion for your mother. You can show up for your mother, and that's it. In fact, you should probably not even try. You were thinking that you should make the big sacrifice, swallow your pride, and be with your sister for a sweet bit of theater, but that nice Kodak moment would depend on your sister's desire for the same thing. But remember, your sister was not asked if she was on board with your plan, nor would it be a good or remotely realistic idea. So by absenting herself, your sister is probably doing the wisest thing. Your mother seeing you one at a time is much better than having you two get together and having a repeat of the huge fight. Part of the reason holidays make people sad is that they put wildly unreasonable expectations on them. Rolling up and expecting your sister to take that as a cue to fix whatever mental illness she hasn't ever been able to fix before is one of those expectations. So just be there for your Mom, and give Sister space for her time, as long as she isn't getting abusive with her. Worry about your own behavior, and let Sister deal with herself. OOP on her sister helping out: My sister would never be involved in Mom’s recovery process. She never has in the past when it came to liver and bowel surgeries. I don’t think she’s ever once even asked about Mom’s current health status, not to my knowledge at least.   Part 6 - Final Update - 1 Jan 2024 (1 week later) (Hey guys! Please no donations! I’m not asking for money of any kind and I did find a job so I’m no longer struggling as much financially. I do appreciate the willingness to give but I cannot accept. If you would like I’m sure there are plenty of charities that are willing to accept such and I’ll gladly give suggestions if asked, but again, I will not accept.) Happy 2024! It’s officially been a few days over a year since I’ve spoken to my sister. I’ve learned a lot in this time and the holidays went smoothly enough- I basically avoided her like the plague and we were only in the same room for a short time period surrounded by people I know wouldn’t stand for her behavior. In a shocking turn of events- I got offered a modeling job earlier this week. It’s runway modeling and I’ll definitely have to start hitting the gym for it, but my boyfriend thinks it could help me with stressors in life and my therapist even thinks its a wonderful idea! Any tips? I haven’t been to the gym in almost 4 months and even then I just ran a treadmill. I don’t bring this up to brag or be one of those attention seeking “I’m a model omg love me” types I see online (I was friends with one of those. They do exist and they are not good to be around). I bring this development up as an example of my progress mentally. My sister found out about this opportunity- more specifically, she found out it was in NYC- and of course she complained to my Dad about how it’s not fair I get to do these things, I’m the world’s favorite, I don’t deserve this, etc. In the past I’ve always let her comments bother a small part of me. Maybe they didn’t choose me to win xyz prize because they liked my work, maybe I was second call for abc project, maybe I did get lucky when I won lmnop scholarship. I know this all makes me sound like a big baby to a few of you. I know some of you will say I’m exaggerating and my thought process in the past has been way out there- and I’m here to say you’re right in a lot of ways. I was being hard on myself, hard on my accomplishments, and letting the words of someone else impact my life. But until I decided to let that person go and I reached my own boiling point I didn’t take as much pride in these things. I made excuses for how they came to be instead of how I built myself to these things. And that part is a fault of my own. For the first time probably ever I actually laughed when my sister tried to bring me down and I feel like my confidence is growing. My therapist says this is a sign I’m actually healing and not letting her takeover. I’m happy to say I finally feel like I’m making progress a year later.   Relevant Comments   Floomby: It's soooo super unfair that Sister didn't get a job she didn't apply to and isn't qualified for! How dare you apply for jobs and achieve things! You should call that job up first thing tomorrow and tell them to offer it to your sister instead or you're a big stinky meanie!! (/s) Leayla: I’m so proud of you. I’ve been following your story and your sister has serious problems. I’m glad you are distancing yourself from her. 2024 is going to be a great year for you.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. submitted by /u/ToiIetGhost to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is something I should probably be speaking about with a therapist, I know. I would, or I have been, but that's not really an option anymore. In fact, I couldn't tell you how many times I've told this story to various medical professionals. I'm thirty now, twenty years since it happened. I just want it to stop. I was a pretty average kid, I think. A little weird, but every kid is a little weird. I had an older sister, and we fought like two cats. I had a couple good friends, most of whom lived on my street or one street over, and we would meet after school and play until it was time for dinner. My life was fairly ideal. I played soccer, I think. Honestly, I have a lot of trouble remembering much of my childhood. But I remember that I got a Nintendo DS for my tenth birthday, and we had a big party in the backyard. Practically the whole neighborhood showed up. My birthday was just before school got out for the summer, so the air buzzed with excitement, and the evening was warm and felt more alive than other nights. The grown ups started a fire in our little fire pit, and they sat around it and drank beer while we ran around. I was allowed to stay up past when I usually went to bed, and the other kids chased fireflies with me and roasted marshmallows until late. I remember going to bed happy, excited for summer, and exhausted. I fell asleep quickly, the peel-and-stick glow in the dark stars and moons shining on the ceiling above my head. Waking up the day after my birthday, something felt... off. I couldn't put my finger on it. I hadn't had a nightmare, it wasn't that... I had slept better than I could really remember ever sleeping. It was late, I realized... that must be it. My mom usually woke me up around eight if it wasn't a school day. She said it was a good habit to be in the routine of waking up early and starting your day on the right foot. By the light streaming in from my windows and the slightly muggy heat in the room, I figured it was already 10 AM or so. I smiled, sliding out of bed. It must have been one final birthday treat, letting me sleep in. She had let me sleep in the day before too, of course, although on my birthday itself I had wanted to get up as early as possible. "Mom?" I called into the hallway, poking my head out the door. No answer. I frowned. It was Saturday, so my dad was definitely already at work, but my mom wouldn't be. My sister wouldn't be home either... she had left the night before to spend the night at her friend's house. She was thirteen now, and allowed to have sleepovers, for which I was eternally jealous. I decided she must be out front in the garden. I put on a shirt and left my room. I smelled coffee, but there was none left in the pot. There were dishes in the sink, too, with remnants of egg stuck to a pan. It wasn't necessarily alarming, but it was strange... even on days I slept in, there was always breakfast left over for me. I opened the front door, opening my mouth to call out to my mom, but I instantly froze. Halfway up our walkway was the mailman. He was on the ground, sprawled out awkwardly on the cement, fresh blood pooled beneath him in a gruesome splatter. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move. His limbs were bent at horrible angles, his face pointed away from me. It almost looked like something, some omnipotent force, had lifted him into the air and then slammed him back down. The package he must have been delivering lay a few feet away, the cardboard dented and soaked in red. I didn't need any confirmation he was dead. It wasn't a question. I had never seen a dead person before. Sometimes my parents had watched horror movies, but that hardly counted. I backed into the house and closed the door behind me. My mind was racing too fast and my heart felt like it might burst out of my chest: everything in my body was reeling, so much so that all I could do was move slowly, in a faux sense of calm. "Mom?" I called out again, into the silent house, my voice breaking. "Mom, are you home? Something happened outside! Mom!" No one answered. The house felt way too quiet, all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears. I had to brace myself against the wall as I made my way to my parent's room, because I was almost shaking too hard to hold myself up. "Mom...?" I pushed open her bedroom door. It creaked, the sound almost deafening against the silence that blanketed the room. Our old grey cat, Gumbo, weaseled her way through the crack and slipped out into the hallway, brushing against my leg on her way. I saw a lump in the bed. For a moment I thought it was just pillows, but then I realized it couldn't have been... the bed was made, and all the pillows were accounted for, leaning against the headboard. "Mom, are you asleep?" It came out as a whisper, even though it wasn't like I had been trying not to wake her up. I wanted her awake, badly. I think I just somehow already knew. Something was hanging in the air, this heaviness, like the whole world had been blanketed in a thing that was empty and hot and dead. A desert popped into my head, a place that was so far away from everything and completely devoid of anything. Devoid of life. When I pulled back the covers, the shock washed over me like an electric zap. Every one of my veins and bones and muscles felt twenty degrees hotter than they should have been. There was blood everywhere. I could barely see any section of the sheets that wasn't soaked in it. It looked like the cherry juice we sometimes made from the tree in our backyard, squashing the berries with our hands and laughing as the sticky syrup trickled down our wrists. Her eyes were open. Her mouth was open too, wide open, like she was about to scream. I gagged, stumbling backwards and almost falling down. My legs felt like they wouldn't work anymore. I was in a daze as I stumbled back to the kitchen. The eggs on the pan seemed like they were mocking me now. I knew my parents had told me what to do in an emergency, but all of that was gone from me now. This didn't feel like an emergency, it felt more like a horrible nightmare. I pinched myself on the arm, just in case. The neighbors, that was it. I was supposed to call my neighbors, the number was on a sticky note next to the phone. My fingers shook as I dialed the number. They picked up after three rings that felt like they took one year each. I heard a sort of crackling sound, like someone was moving the phone around. "Hello?" "H-Hi..." I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the lump firmly lodged at the back of my tongue. "This is... Jackson... from next door..." I heard some sort of giggle, a choked one, like they were trying to hold it back, and then some hushed whispering. "Hi Jackson," the voice said. I assumed it was the mother, Mrs. Winston. "Is everything alright? Can I help you with something?" "I, uh... s-something happened... my mom..." "Oh, honey," Mrs. Winston said, her tone gentle, but something about it felt deeply off. My stomach twisted. "Why don't you head on over here, hm? We'll figure out what's going on together." "Okay..." I remember hanging up before she said anything else. Something about her voice was unnerving me. Still, I didn't know where else to go. I slipped out the back door so I wouldn't have to walk past the mailman, Gumbo watching me go. I knocked on the neighbor's door. No answer... I knocked again. Still nothing. I stepped into the flower beds, peering in through the windows. Someone was lying on the couch, their head tilted back like they were staring up at the ceiling. For a moment that was what I thought was happening, until I saw that their chest was opened up like a patient on a surgery table. All guts and organs and blood, so much blood. It was Mr. Winston, in his sweater vest and brown dad shorts. Dead like the mailman. Dead like my mom. Something came over me, and I burst through their front door. It was unlocked, which I hadn't really expected, so I went tumbling into the room, landing on my stomach, my face slamming into the floor. Face to face with Mrs. Wilson, who lay dead in front of the phone. Her eyes were open too. There was a fly on one of them, crawling across the white, pausing every few seconds to rub its hands together. I had started to cry. It was finally hitting me that this was real, not some dream, and I desperately wanted my mom. I scrambled to my feet, nearly throwing up when I realized my face was covered in her blood... I swiped at it with my hands, trying to wipe it away as quickly as possible. Then, instinctively, I licked my lips. Horrified, I braced myself for the coppery taste of the blood on my tongue... But it never came. It was... sweet. I hesitated, trembling incessantly, before cautiously raising one of my red fingers to my lips. Sweet. Memories flooded my mind, memories of baking with my grandmother, the sweet syrup we would sometimes pour into the mixing bowls... It was fucking corn syrup. I ran to my father's work, which was on the other side of town. By the time I got there I was close to passing out and drenched in sweat... but it had made it a little easier to get here with the road completely devoid of cars. There were some, parked on the side of the road or every now and then in the middle of it, but none of them had people in them. Some of them had blood. Thick and red and gooey blood. The nice receptionist that was always at the front desk, and always gave me candy when my dad brought me in, had her head against the computer. Her hair was matted with red liquid, as if someone had ripped out entire chunks of her scalp. Before I could think too hard about it I wiped my finger across the side of her head and licked it. It was sweet too. I felt like my brain was going to break, like I was standing on the edge of something completely incomprehensible. I shook the woman. She flopped like a rag doll. I sobbed, shoving her, and she slumped to the ground, her head knocking against the tiles. "Wake up!" I screamed at her. "I know you're not dead!" She didn't move an inch. Just stared, unblinking, her mouth hanging half open. I ran into the room my dad usually worked in, scanning it for his work space... I couldn't remember where it was, just that it was around halfway back, and close to the wall. In every cubicle someone was dead. Sometimes they looked halfway peaceful, as if they'd been caught by surprise, but most of them were eviscerated in one way or another. Entrails hanging out, bones showing, blood sprayed against the walls, even some with faces ripped clean off. It was like something unseeable had swept through the town on a rampage. But all of their blood was made of corn syrup. In a brave moment I even touched one of the organs, something that looked like a strange deflated balloon, and it jiggled, but more like plastic than a human body part. At one point I swore I heard a giggle behind me. I whipped around, but no one was there. I found my dad at the water cooler, sitting against the wall, cone paper cup still gripped loosely in his hand. He stared straight ahead, blood leaking from his eyes, nose, and mouth, like he'd exploded from the inside. "Dad," I whispered, grabbing his shoulder. "This isn't funny... please stop..." There was a strange look on his face that I could just barely make out through the red. Almost like a smile. Like a smile someone would only make if they were trying very hard not to. I walked back home down the middle of the road, balancing on the yellow lines to have something to focus on, because I was fairly certain if I stopped walking, I wouldn't start again. When I got there, I climbed into bed and I closed my eyes. I didn't know what else to do. Eventually, after what must have been hours and hours of lying there, I drifted off into a restless sleep. I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder. I screamed, scrambling away from them, immediately wide awake and terrified. "Woah!" My mom backed away, smiling. "Sorry buddy, I didn't mean to scare you!" I was breathing hard. I looked her over, clutching my chest. She was... completely fine. She looked it, at least. She stood there in a white blouse and blue jeans, her hair tied up like always, her eyes bright and happy. "What... what day is it?" Her smile faded, and she frowned a little. It was then that I noticed the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen. "It's Sunday, bud, remember?" Two days after my birthday. So yesterday had been real... "What happened yesterday?" She placed the back of her hand on my forehead, tutting softly. "Did one of those neighborhood kids you play with get you sick, honey? Do you feel okay?" I dropped it, because I didn't know what to say. I convinced myself maybe I really was sick, maybe it had been some kind of feverish hallucination. And I was so relieved to see her, I didn't want to think about any of it anymore. I went to eat breakfast, sitting at the table between my dad and my sister, and everything was normal. But when I left the house later that day, I saw it. On the walkway leading up to our house, there was something pink on the pavement... a faint pink stain, like something sweet and red and sticky had been recently scrubbed away. Like I said, it's been thirty years. I've been feeling like I had almost recovered from that incident. I had asked everyone I knew countless times about that day, but none of them seemed to have any idea what I was talking about... but still, I had almost let it go, and it had never happened again. Not until today. Today, when I walked into my therapists office, it seemed strangely quiet. There was usually music playing, something soothing and soft, and there were people in the waiting room and at the front desk typing on a keyboard... But today, nothing. No one. Silence. I let myself into Dr. Sheldon's office, perplexed. Which is when I found her dead on the carpet, her blood sprayed across all the walls, even dripping from the ceiling. It was crazy, I know that, but I immediately tasted it. Sweet. I rolled her over, and her eyes were open, a strange smile on her face. This time I did something I didn't think to do as a kid... I checked her pulse. She's alive. I don't know what to do. I can't believe they're doing this to me again. Do they think this is funny? submitted by /u/orangeplr to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

I was born a burden. My parents said it jokingly, but I could tell it’d always been on their mind. Even as an infant, I had bronchiolitis, hypersensitive skin, and several infections. My mother used to say that I was made as if God was tired of looking out for me, and handed it all over to my parents. “He couldn’t be bothered anymore,” she’d half-joke. I was a sickly child in a healthy family. I had three older brothers and two younger sisters. And while one affliction would disappear, it would just make way for another. Bronchiolitis gave way to asthma. Infections gave way to allergies. Sensitivity gave way to eczema. Add a mix of violent migraines, bad eyesight, and car sickness, and you have 8-year-old me. I grew up near a vineyard. If you continue east from Toulouse, past Gaillac and Albi, you find this long stretch of road piercing through a sparse forest, opening to the colorful rolling hills of southern France. A lot of people just think “Champagne” when they think of French wine, but there is so much more to it. My father used to say that before we had a country, we had wine. Now, while we didn’t live on the vineyard itself, my family owned it. My father had worked those lands since he was a boy, and me and my brothers were expected to do the same. My sisters too, but in another way. But this isn’t like in the movies, where we bike down some road with a half-cocked beret and baguettes in our baskets – this was hard work. We’re talking chemicals, heavy machinery, inspections, quality testing. Traditions have to evolve to satisfy a modern market. So when I say hard work, I don’t mean leisurely strolls down lanes of grapes. I mean dragging boxes of equipment, filling out paperwork, loading up trucks, sitting in meetings with suppliers, paying taxes, and reaching seasonal work quotas. Now, I couldn’t do all that. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t run very far, and I couldn’t lift heavy things without running out of breath. I’d get headaches from staring at screens. My mom had to do my laundry separate from the others, or my skin would break out in hives from the softener. I had to use special shampoo, and I had to get special buttons and zippers. I had a nickel allergy, and wouldn’t you know it, most zippers and buttons use nickel. But I think I could’ve lived with all of that if it wasn’t for my allergy to fur. All my siblings wanted was a pet, but my allergies were too strong. If they were at a friend’s house, and that friend had a cat, I could get a reaction. It got so bad at times that I had to stay in the car while they went grocery shopping, in case someone at the store had a dog. I did have some medication for it, but it made me sleepy and nauseous – not a good combination for longer car rides. I remember once when my brother, Maurice, snapped at my parents. He was five years older and had just crossed the line into teenager. We were all sitting down for dinner, and I was having a reaction to something in the soup. My parents argued whether it was the tomatoes or the spring onions. My mom had aired out the house earlier that day, so it might just be pollen from the garden. Maurice couldn’t take it. “Every day!” he yelled. “Every day there’s something new! Why do we even bother keeping him alive?!” Of course, my mother scolded him, but it didn’t matter. He was furious. “We would be so much better without you,” he continued. “We could have so much. We could go anywhere, do anything. Now we’re all stuck with you.” He stormed out, screaming all the way up the stairs to his room. “I’d rather have a dog than you as my brother!” Thing is, he wasn’t wrong. He was just saying the quiet part out loud. I suppose that’s the worst of it. That night, I went out into the woods. I’d taken one of my allergy pills so I wouldn’t get sick from the trees, but I could feel my legs dragging from the side effects. I had filled my pockets with a small pharmacy – the standard kit for leaving the house. I wanted to find Maurice a dog. It was a stupid idea, but I really wanted him to like me. Of course, there aren’t many stray dogs roaming the French countryside, but I didn’t think that far. I was upset, and I didn’t want to be a burden anymore. I wandered through those woods for hours, calling out for something to find me. Something I could show everyone. I just wanted to do good. It got too dark to keep going, so I decided to head back. I was disheartened. I’d made a fool of myself, again. Then I heard a splash. There were puddles in the woods from the afternoon rain, and something was splashing around in it. Something small. A frog, perhaps. I got down on my knees, letting the mud soak into my freshly cleaned jeans. Sorry, mom. I felt around with my hands and touched something poking against the tip of my finger. I recoiled. “Sorry,” I said. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I felt around a little more – carefully. Something the size of my thumb was moving around in the mud. Not a frog, but something equally slimy. I held my hand flat, inviting it to be picked up. “What are you?” I asked. “You’re not a frog.” It crawled into my hand and lay there. I held it up to my face, trying to see what it was. It didn’t move. Something black, with a ridge along the spine. “You wanna come home with me?” I asked. “Or you can stay, if you want.” I put my hand back down, but it didn’t leave. I couldn’t help but to smile. I think that was the first time something willingly chose to stay with me. But it was late, and my parents were out looking for me. I hurried into one of the storerooms and got a jar. I filled it with some rainwater and dropped my new friend in. I left the jar open if it wanted to leave, apologizing profusely, and promised I’d be back in the morning. I hid it on the far side of the house, near a pile of raked leaves. My parents were furious, of course, but mostly just worried. Maurice got a severe talking-to, which didn’t make things better. Not only had I been a burden to him, now he got in trouble because of it. I was probably in for a beating. I had trouble sleeping that night, trying to imagine what my friend in the jar looked like. Maybe it was a frog, after all. Like a really cool, black, punk rock kind of frog. The next morning I hurried outside to check on the little creature. I picked up the jar and noticed how it had curled up in the bottom of it, trying to submerge itself completely in the water. I hadn’t filled the jar that well, and hadn’t considered that it might need more water. Was it some kind of fish? Strange. I remember standing there in my flip-flops and jammie bottoms. Fog was rolling off, giving way to the early morning sun. My hands were chilly as I filled the jar with water from a garden hose and held it up against my face to get a better look. The creature was about as long as a middle finger, and blacker than coal. I could clearly see the spine of it, where little spikes poked out, but I couldn’t make out what kind of creature it was. It had the head of a trout, but the body of a snake. It had gills with long tendrils coming out the side. As soon as I filled the jar up, it came to life, twirling and rolling around the jar. Almost like a dance. Then it looked at me with dark, expressionless eyes. “I’ll call you Milou,” I smiled. “And we’re gonna be best friends.” Can you tell I was a Tintin kind of kid? I decided to keep Milou hidden from my siblings. Maurice was still a bit salty about getting yelled at, so I figured it was best not to show him something he could use to hurt me. I’d never had a pet, and chances were, I’d never get one. So I decided to keep Milou hidden away. I fed him little bits and pieces. Grapes from the vineyard, of course. Ants. Flies. And little bits and bobs I could squirrel away from my dinner and breakfast. He took his time with it, but seemed to like all of it. He also enjoyed having little things to play with, so I’d drop in little plastic soldiers and rocks and stuff. I would imagine him as a sea monster, towering over the little soldier guys. My own little kraken. After a couple of days, I noticed a weird smell coming from the jar, so I decided to take it inside to clean. I waited until no one was home, got a fresh jar from the storeroom, and hurried into the kitchen. My heart was pounding as I opened the jar, only to feel this eye-watering burn in my nose. I was having an allergic reaction to something. I filled the fresh jar with water and tipped Milou into it before pouring the old water down the drain. I hurried back outside and almost dropped him. I had to sit down and take my asthma medication, wheezing for air – apologizing between coughs. “I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what-“ I looked down at Milou. He’d pressed his little fish head against the glass, looking at me with eyes wide open. Even without a single muscle to express emotion, I could tell; he was worried. There was something in that discarded water that got my allergies flaring up, that much I figured out. I tried running the tap in the kitchen to get rid of the smell, but I could still feel it. By the time my mother got back, I was scared she might notice it. Instead, she walked in with a smile. “Did someone pick flowers?” she asked. “It smells wonderful.” As my secret routine turned from days into weeks, I picked up on a few things. Milou would do something to his water. Something I was very allergic to, but that others seemed to enjoy. If I got some of it on my hands, I’d get this terrible rash, but the smell was, to others, wonderful. There was one time when I was cleaning out the jar when my dad burst through the front door. He was probably just home to get his lunch. I hurried out the back door, leaving the dirty thing on the kitchen counter. It was free from rocks and twigs this time, but the smell was as powerful as ever. It made my insides itch. But dad wasn’t reacting like that at all. I saw him from the kitchen window, lifting the jar. Turning it over, looking it up and down. Sniffing it. Tasting it with the tip of his tongue. Then downing it in six big gulps. Of course, Milou grew. The tendrils extending from his gills got longer, and his jaw grew into a sort of underbite. His scales looked stronger and had a bit of a shimmer to them. I had to upgrade him from a jar to a pot. We had a couple in storage, but I realized he didn’t enjoy it. He wanted something transparent. He liked to look. He’d float around, wiggling his tail, keeping his head upright. And he’d just sit there, for hours, observing. We had an old fermentation jar in the garage. My grandfather once used it to make preserves, but it hadn’t been used for a while. It was larger than my head, so there was plenty of space for Milou to grow. It also helped that it was entirely made of glass. It also had a tap, so I could get some of the wastewater out without having to rinse through the entire thing. It was good enough. There was a corner in one of our old sheds where I knew no one ever looked, and I tried placing Milou there – but he objected. He’d tap his head against the glass, pointing me back outside. “I don’t know where to put you,” I said. “I have to keep you safe.” He tapped his head against the glass again. He was right – I couldn’t keep him locked in the dark. There’s a hill overlooking the property, right by the edge of the forest. The ground there was softer and covered in moss. I found a spot near one of the trees and dug a hole. I put Milou’s jar in it, but not all the way up. I left part of it above ground; like a window. I covered the rest in leaves and moss. I sat down next to him. No more tapping against the glass – he was happy. “I’ll try to get you a cricket tomorrow,” I said. “And maybe some other stuff.” Milou did a little spin. Dark eyes looked up at me from the back of the jar. “Do you need anything?” I asked. I wasn’t expecting a response, but he tapped against the glass. He’d done so many times, but now it seemed more deliberate. I thought about it for a moment. “Do you really understand me?” Tap again. I leaned my head down close, coming up eye to eye with the creature. He never blinked and only moved enough not to sink to the bottom. “Do you know you’re Milou?” Tap. He knew. “Do you like me?” I asked. He stopped for a moment to look at me. Turning its head side to side, as if to get a better view of me. My heart sunk a little. Then, out of the blue, he tapped again. It was clear as day. We were friends. A couple of days later, I went back up there to change the water in his jar. It started out well enough, but I ended up spilling a whole jar of wastewater on me. I had to put him back and hurry back to the house to change my clothes before my throat swelled up. I ran through the kitchen. My dad was sitting down with my sisters, talking to them about homework. As I passed by, he called out to me, then followed me into the washroom. I changed my pants and tried to hide the stains, but he was right behind me. “What’s that smell?” he asked. “Where’ve you been?” “Out,” I said. “In the forest. I didn’t go far, I wasn’t by the lake or anything.” He took the stained pants from the laundry basket. To me, it smelled like an asthma attack waiting to happen, but to him it was something different. “Is that… wildflowers?” he asked. “Some kind of… melon?” I didn’t answer. I just washed my hands. I could feel a rash coming on. Dad leaned down and looked me in the eye. “Did you make that lemonade before?” he asked. “The one in the jar, on the counter?” “It’s just water,” I said. “It’s not lemonade.” “Everything is water,” he smiled. “Even wine. But did you make it?” “Sort of.” He smiled at me and gave me a pat on the shoulder. I think it was the first time I saw him really approve of me. “You should make more,” he said. “It was fantastic.” I went back to Milou every day, having little chats about everything and nothing. I told him about what my dad said, and he seemed excited. Milou didn’t seem to mind at all. I was a bit skeptical – I didn’t want anyone to find Milou, or to ask questions. So the next time I cleaned out the jar, I saved his water in bottles and filled them with wildflowers. That way it looked authentic, like I made something. Dad had never really encouraged me to make things on my own before. I wanted to make him proud. I’d seen my parents make everything in that kitchen for years, so I knew where everything was. I cleaned the bottles up, added some honey and fennel, and made my own label. I was kinda clever. I was afraid I might slip up the name Milou someday, so I made it the label. That way, no one would bat an eye if I mentioned it. That night, as my family gathered around the dinner table, I took out every bottle of “Milou” that I’d chilled during the day. Everyone got their own bottle. I told them that dad liked it, and that I hoped they would too. They didn’t know what to make of it at first. But they opened their bottles, and it fizzed a little like a light sparkling wine. And after that first sip, their frowns melted away. For the first time, there were smiles all across the table. And not just any smile – they were smiling at me. They loved it. They loved me. All summer and well into autumn, I kept up my secret routine. Milou was large enough to have an entire meatball for dinner by then. He was longer than my foot but still had plenty of space to grow. I’d feed him, talk to him, clean his jar, and give him things to play with. But he was getting tired of toys and rocks – he wanted something new. He’d tell me with little taps on the glass. I did this thing where I took old newspapers and cut out pictures. I’d lick them and stick them to the glass for Milou to look at. He loved them. Especially pictures of people, those were the most interesting to him. He always lingered a little longer on pictures where they smiled. I continued to make my bottles of “Milou” about once a week. I told them it was my secret recipe. My father would bring home honey and fennel for me to use. Sometimes he’d bring cherries, or some fruit. We’d spend some time together making up recipes, and he encouraged me to experiment. To me it all just smelled like burning acid, but feeling useful made my heart swell with pride. I wasn’t just taking – I was finally giving back. I told them I couldn’t drink it myself, and that it burned me. They didn’t even question it. But they all enjoyed it nonetheless. Even Maurice. This kept going for an entire year. I had the best birthday of my life, where my family whole-heartedly celebrated me. It wasn’t just an obligation, they were happy to. I was getting invited into conversations. They asked my opinion on things. On New Year’s Eve, I even heard my dad drunkenly brag about my drink to a neighbor. I wasn’t just a sick boy – I was in the family business. There was some tension though. I’d often find Maurice out in the fields, or in the kitchen, trying to replicate my recipe. He couldn’t make it, and it frustrated him to no end. He explained to me, in no uncertain terms, that he would make something better. He wouldn’t be beaten by someone who could die from goddamn fabric softener. But dad was thinking of other things. Bigger things. So come spring, we made our first bottle of wine using water from Milou as dilution. It’s usually done to balance out the sugar levels, but dad thought it could give it a ‘colorful musky tone’. Not that I knew what the hell that meant back then. “Mineral water might not change the taste,” he said, “but it can change the way it feels. And with this?” He held up my bottle, giving it a cheeky little shake. “With this, it will feel like a mother’s kiss.” I remember the day we finished the wine. Dad poured it into a small glass. He let it rest a little. We sat quietly around the kitchen table, waiting patiently. He smelled it. Twirled it. Observed the color and the consistency. And when he finally tasted it, his eyes went wide. He put down the glass and smiled at me like he’d won the lottery. He swept me up on his shoulder and hurried outside, holding the bottle as he went. He called out to my mom to try the glass in the kitchen. He put me down and we ran all the way out to the field workers. Two of them were off to the side, having a cigarette. Dad handed over the bottle. “Tell me,” he said. “Tell me that isn’t the best thing you’ve ever had.” The worker, Claude, had a sip straight from the bottle. He thought about it. Then something just clicked. A smile melted onto his face, and he laughed. He handed the bottle to the other worker with a loud ‘whoo!’. Others came to look. Everyone got to try it. All the while, my dad went around to them, one by one. “My son made this!” he laughed. “My son did!” There were pats on my shoulder. They ruffled my hair. They lift me up and cheered. They passed the bottle around, emptying it sip by sip. “Best damn thing I’ve ever tasted,” someone said. “It’s soft. How can it be so soft?” “It melts me. I love it!” After that, things were wonderful, but complicated. Dad really wanted me to give him the recipe. He wanted to put it into production. But of course, I couldn’t do it. He couldn’t understand why, and I couldn’t blame him. I was just a kid. I hated lying to him, but he’d be horrified if he knew the source. He wasn’t mad about it. Just disappointed. Maurice, on the other hand, had plans of his own. One day, as I finished cleaning Milou’s jar, I noticed Maurice. He’d been following me. I thought I’d been clever, hiding the empty bottles in my school bag, but he must’ve heard the clinking. He hadn’t spotted Milou and the jar yet, but it was just a matter of time. He walked up to me with a smug smirk. “You hide them up here?” he asked. “What are you using?” He looked around, kicking some leaves. I didn’t say a thing or move a muscle. It felt like facing a predator – like movement might trigger him. “I don’t get it,” he continued. “Is it mushrooms? Roots?” He picked up a rock and looked at me. I didn’t meet his gaze. That was, apparently, the wrong thing for me to do. He threw the rock at me. I ducked, he missed, and it hit the side of Milou’s jar. It didn’t break. Didn’t even get a scratch. But it made a noise. Maurice pushed me aside. “No!” I yelled out. “Please, don’t!” But that just spurred him on more. He pushed the moss and the dirt aside, finding the top of the jar. He grinned as he twisted the lid. The moment it popped open, I’d pulled out a bottle from my pack and held it like a club. “Stop it!” I said. “Or else!” He stopped. He dropped the lid. He turned to me. Older, stronger, healthier. He was better in every way – and yet, I’d threatened him. He wasn’t having it. He wrestled me to the ground and beat me. I’d never been in a fight with him before. Not like that. It was just malice, through and through. He was enjoying himself, showing how powerless I was. As I lay with my face in the mud, I looked over at Milou’s jar. I saw something peak over the edge. Dark, expressionless eyes. The long face of a trout, opening its mouth in a silent scream. And then he began to shiver. Maurice rolled off me. He was having a seizure. It’s as if he was mirroring Milou’s shaking. His eyes rolled back in his skull, and his fingers were making these weird twitching movements. He was frothing at the mouth – and the bubbles smelled like Milou’s water. I went from relieved to terrified. I rolled Maurice over, slapping him on his back. He kept coughing up this white foam, gasping for air. His eyes had turned an unnatural black, mirroring the color in Milou. “It’s okay,” I waved at Milou, trying not to think of my broken lip. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Milou.” He stopped shivering. He just rested his head at the edge of the jar. Then, Maurice spoke. “Are you alright, friend?” It was his mouth, but not his voice. A deep, croaking rumble. I could see a tremble in his throat, like something was about to emerge. Something pushing against the skin. My eyes went from Maurice, to Milou, and back again. “Are you doing that?” I whispered. “He will not hurt you,” Maurice said. “I will make sure.” Maurice wasn’t moving. I couldn’t even tell if he was alive. Was he breathing, or shaking? “How do you do that?” I asked. “I go swim,” he answered. “I can swim very far.” I didn’t have to say thank you. Milou just plopped back into his jar. As he did, Maurice’s eyes returned to a cold natural gray. He bent over, screaming from a stomachache, and couldn’t stop throwing up. He had no idea what’d happened. But he knew he’d lost. I felt like the king of the hill. Maurice had to stop bothering me. I felt confident. I had a friend looking out for me, and he was stronger than everyone. So the next time my dad asked me to help with the wine, I said yes – but on my terms. He couldn’t touch the dilution tank. No one could. Just me. He agreed. It was mid-July when we got the tank set up. It was like a small swimming pool. No one was around when I dropped in Milou. “You can’t look out” I said. “But you’ll hear people all day. Is that okay?” He tapped his head against the metal siding. He was okay with it. He had so much more room to grow. He was already the size of my leg. I had a stupid idea. I borrowed a beach ball from the shed and climbed into the tank with Milou. It was cold and dark, but I trusted him with every fiber of my being. He was my best friend, and he would never hurt me. The water was fresh, so I wouldn’t get a reaction. Instead, I blew the ball up and passed it to him. He passed it back. And before I knew it, we were playing catch, bouncing it back and forth, my laugh echoing against the hollow steel. Things would progress from there. Dad would make a trial batch using Milou. He’d hand the bottles off to his workers and took a couple to a sommelier in Marseilles. It was a hit. That first test run, tentatively named “Ami de Milou”, ran out almost immediately. This was turning from a passion project to commercial sales. The whole thing was getting out of hand. I had to yell at workers to not investigate the dilution tank. My dad would wave me off. He kept his promise to leave me in charge of the tank, but I could tell he was about to budge. I could see it all slipping between my fingers. I was getting pushed out of the equation. Then again – why wouldn’t I be? You can’t rest an industry on the shoulders of a child. One night, I saw my dad climb up to check the dilution tank. He wanted to grab a sample to have it analyzed. He had promised me a hundred times over that he wouldn’t do it, but he did it anyway. I didn’t understand that he needed to make sure there were no pollutants, and that it was safe to drink. You can’t put mystery recipes on store shelves. But I didn’t care. I felt betrayed. So I let him open, and look. The moment he opened the water tank, his eyes glazed over. He stumbled down the ladder, as if learning how to walk. He wasn’t shaking, like Maurice had done. It’s as if he had climbed down a new person. Like a new new person. Someone who didn’t know how to use his body. My dad’s new dark, expressionless eyes settled on me. He smiled. “Friend,” he gargled. “Best friend.” Over the next few weeks, I noticed things. I saw Claude putting down a crate of filters just to stare at the sky. I saw my sister’s eyes turn dark as she watched the TV, forgetting to blink. My brothers would sit on the floor next to the fridge, tasting jams and sauces straight from the jars. Milou was using his newfound strength to look beyond the tank, using the eyes of anyone who had drunk from his waters. I remember my father coming home with dark eyes. My mother had them too. They started kissing in the hallway. But not, like, nice kissing. I’d never seen them like that before. They were pushing, biting, grabbing. I’d never seen adults act like that before. They hurried up the stairs and I didn’t see them for the rest of the night. We missed dinner. But it wasn’t all the time. Most of the time it was normal. Until it wasn’t. I remember my 10th birthday. It was quiet. I stepped downstairs and into the dining room. They were all sitting in a circle. My mom and dad. My sisters. My brothers. All their eyes dark, with smiles plastered across their faces. Like they didn’t know how to smile, but tried their best. It looked more like snarling wolves, biting down so hard their jaws trembled. ‘Happy Birthday’, they said as one. I got the seat of honor. All eyes on me. There was a carrot cake. My dad got up with a kitchen knife. He pushed my sister out of the way so hard she fell off her chair, still smiling. He leaned over the table, smashing his hand down on a plate like his joints were too stiff. It’s a miracle the plate didn’t crack. He leaned in with the knife, putting his entire weight on it – and cutting off the tip of his index finger. He didn’t seem to notice. He didn’t even cut up a slice. He just cut into the cake because that’s what he’d seen in the pictures. They don’t move in newspaper clippings. With both his hands, he grabbed the cake and pushed the whole thing across the table, dragging the tablecloth along. Every glass was spilled. Every plate rolled onto the floor. Spoons clattered as my siblings toppled over like fallen chess pieces – smiling all the way down. “Happy Birthday, friend,” dad gargled. “Best friend.” “Thank you, Milou,” I stuttered. “Thank you.” “I love you.” “I love you too, Milou.” Dad sat down on the floor, looking up at me like a curious dog. The one remaining spoon on the table was mine. They all stared in awe, waiting for me to approve. I took a bite of the carrot cake, and their teeth began to chatter. They were so pleased. So, so, pleased. I didn’t know what to do. Milou kept reaching further and further away. I’d see people around town walking around with dark eyes. Bus drivers, fruit vendors. I’d see them smelling flowers, running their hands across blue sunflower petals at the shop. Sometimes there’d be groups of them. They wouldn’t even bother speaking like people, they’d gargle amongst themselves, exploring new and visceral sensations. I’d see them at the library. Ten people reading ten different books at once. I’d see it at school, with our music teacher clumsily slamming their hands on the finely tuned piano. And I’d read about it in articles, where dark-eyed fishermen would disappear on long hauls, only to come back with mysterious barrels. Barrels that would make their way to our dilution tank. Milou knew what he was doing. He didn’t trust anyone but me, and it served him well. One night, I climbed back up the side of the tank. I opened it, holding my breath as to not choke on the fumes. Milou had grown. By then he was at least twelve feet long. He’d spun himself into a spiral, resting at the bottom of the tank. All around him were these little black things, no longer than a nail. His kin, from the barrels. I didn’t know what to say. Just opening my mouth made the fumes burn. Milou uncoiled and raised himself out of the water like a cobra. His eyes were bigger than my fists. The spikes along his spine were thicker than my fingers. Just like with everything else, he’d gotten away from me. He was no longer my pet. I was his. He leaned his head in close. I could see his fangs. Translucent, like glass. He put his mouth against my forehead, as if giving me a tender kiss. It was cold, and it burned. Whatever he was doing, I was still allergic to it. “You’re hurting me,” I said. He leaned back. Now, like then, he understood. He coiled back into the bottom of the tank apologetically, and I climbed back down. It all came to a breaking point in late September. I woke up one night to cheers and the pitter-patter of running feet. Looking out into the field, I could see torches. They’d started the tractor. They were dragging the tank out into the open, using chains wrapped around the side. It made this long track in the ground, thoughtlessly toppling over grape vines. I put on my shoes and hurried down the stairs. My siblings were already outside, flailing with their arms and gargling at the night sky. They’d completely abandoned trying to look and sound like people. They even smelled like Milou. They were all busy. Pushing, chasing, dancing, jumping, and yelling. One of my sisters were on her knees, just staring at the full moon. Claude was playing with a torch, running a blackened hand through the flame. But I couldn’t see mom and dad. And then I did. They were coming out of the storeroom, holding something between them. After a couple of seconds, I could see a head. They were holding someone up, carrying them on their shoulders. A stranger, it seemed. He was waking up. “Let me… go!” he yelled. “Who are you people?!” Everyone threw things at him. Grapes. Tools. Gloves. He was bleeding from his forehead. And when he got closer, I could see a gash across his forehead. They’d hurt him. “What are you doing?” he asked. “What is this?” There was no response as they led him up the side of the tank. The moment he looked down, he started screaming, and he couldn’t stop. He was trying to beg, and fight, and run, all at once. But his body was betraying him, and the gathering crowd held him back. I protested, but my voice was too weak. They didn’t hear me. Or maybe they didn’t care. They threw him into the water tank. His screams turned from panic to pain. I could hear his voice whip around, as if he was suddenly tugged and pulled in different directions. They celebrated. Cheering. Gargling. And as the screaming grew louder, a hand pulled on my finger. My youngest sister, looking up at me with dark, expressionless eyes. “We want to try,” she said. “To taste. To see.” “You’re hurting him!” I cried. “Please, you have to stop!” “I’m just hurting him,” she said. “Not you. Never you.” “No!” I protested. “This hurts! This hurts me too!” That made her pause. For a moment, the movement inside the tank stopped. She held my hand, thinking. Then, a plastered smile returned to her face. “I have a solution, friend. Best friend.” She hugged me. Others followed suit. Mom. Dad. Maurice. The screaming in the tank resumed. They pulled me to the ground, wrapping me in a hug. Stroking my hair and cheek. Caring for me. All the while, the screaming in the tank was cut short; replaced with the snapping of bones, and the tearing of flesh. “I love you,” they whispered. “I love you.” I lay there all night, listening to a man being eaten alive. The following morning, there was a bag outside the front door, and a stranger with a white car. He had covered his eyes with sunglasses. My dad took me by the hand and led me away from the others. “If it hurts, you can’t look,” he said. “I will take care of you.” “Wait,” I said. “What are you doing?” “Taking care.” They put me in the car. They tossed Maurice in there too. He looked at me with dark, expressionless eyes. “I don’t like this one,” he said. “He goes too.” They took my things, and they sent me away. I stayed with a stranger in Marseilles for a while. Weeks, maybe. Maurice eventually returned to his normal self, but we couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Any of it. We were just kids, we couldn’t do anything. But we had a place to live. People that came and went; giving us food, washing our clothes, and giving us as large an allowance as we ever could’ve wished for. We could play any game. Go anywhere. See anything. And I wish I could say we fought. That we figured out a clever trick. That we were smarter than a strange frog from the woods. But we didn’t, and we weren’t. This was a long time ago. Ami de Milou has a different name today. I’ve tried posting it here, but the post gets removed. I think it’s filtered. I am almost 22 years old. I’ve never worked a day in my life. I have a nice car, and a big apartment. Most people think I come from trust fund money. When I say the company name, they always gasp. I’m sure you’ve heard of it too. I can say what I want, no one will believe me anyway. I’ve sent letters, but they have disappeared in the mail. Calls get disconnected. They sometimes hides the dark eyes behind sunglasses, but I can still tell who has them. They move a certain way. I can’t pinpoint the moment Maurice and I gave up. Maybe it was the moment we realized we could have ice cream for dinner. Maybe it was when Maurice moved out and got a dog. Or maybe it was on my first birthday away from my family, when a dark-eyed man handed me a birthday card. There were two boys playing with a beach ball on it. “I love you,” it read. They run other companies now. I know the logos. I see them on fishing boats. On trash collectors. And lately, I’ve sensed a familiar smell coming from the water in the shower. Perhaps there’s a familiar logo at the water treatment plant as well. I’ve gone back a couple of times, but there’s not much I can do. There are so many to stop me from trying anything. I never get closer than that hill, overlooking what used to be a vineyard. Now there’re walls, and barbed wire. Mostly around the new artificial lake they’ve dug. But I suppose, in a way, I’m lucky. Wherever I go, someone cares. Someone watches, and listens. And if I ever feel lonely, I just walk into a crowd. “I love you, Milou.” That’s all I have to say. And someone, somewhere, will whisper it back. submitted by /u/Saturdead to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/spicedpumpkins Not really a cat person. HOW do I gently stop neighbor's cat from bringing me dead things? Originally posted to r/cats Thanks to u/La_Dame_Va_Se_Facher & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Original Post Sept 11, 2024 I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Update 1 Sept 12, 2024 In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. 1) My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day 2) My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. 3) The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. 4) I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Update 2 Sept 22, 2024 First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm brining it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they were moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was brining it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way to used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's really just super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually is "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/spicedpumpkins posting in r/cats Concluded as per OOP Update One - Short Update Two - Longish Original - 11th September 2024 Update One - 12th September 2024 Update Two - 22nd September 2024 ***Original**\* I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Comments Prestigious-Beach190 Many cats prefer to be left alone unless they specifically ask for attention, so you've probably been the perfect friend for this cat. Bringing you dead prey demonstrates that: the cat loves you and is taking care of you by bringing you food. Stopping that will likely be difficult. The cat will probably continue to 'feed' you for as long as he or she loves you. So unless you can find a way to keep the cat off your property (or make him/her stop loving you), there's no real solution to your predicament. Elmindria You need to assert yourself as a self sufficient hunter and present it with dead things yourself. That way it knows you are capable and not going to die if it stops providing for you. It likes you but is concerned you won't survive without it's assistance. Karanosz Cats WANT us to honor their boundaries. You do just that. You show a lot of respect to it without even knowing. Petting when asks for it like when it rubs to you, you even fulfill it asking for attention. So now, it brings you tributes and gifts, to deepen this well kicked off relationship even more. It's a form of courtesy. This cat wants to be your friend and wants you to acknowledge that by accepting the offerings and giving it affection when it brings them. My cat does it too. Lizards, bugs, back long ago birds, for which I scolded her so she didn't bring me dead/dying birbs anymore. But otherwise it's better to pretend that you accept it, and getting rid of it unseen if you are willing to deepen your bond with the cat. Or scold it for it. If you want to sever the relationship, do it coldly, and harshly verbally. Do not hurt it physically. If you really don't want the cat to even interact with you anymore you can push it away with your leg when it rubs to it. I would definitely not have the heart to do that though. I would melt and praise it like a god for the random adoption(it adopting me). It's such a kind thing from such a normally selfish creature as a cat. **UPDATE 1 DAY LATER*\* In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Comments Feline_Shenanigans I know you are frustrated but this is hilarious. Kitty has decided that you are theirs to care for. Since cat is older, it sounds like kitty might be losing their sense of smell. Or is one of those rare cats that LOVES vinegar (my furry bastard is one of those). I’m curious how the cat reacts to your wife. If they aren’t impressed it might be worth getting permission from her to borrow her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc. for a few days to see if smelling more like another human has an impact. Might also be worth asking some gardening subs for advice on how to step up your anticide. Or possibly consider accepting that the neighbourhood granny cat has decided that you aren’t eating properly and they need to feed you. O_Elbereth I had one that would roll itself into spilled pickle or olive brine and act like it was catnip. Every once in a while there's a weird one. anonny42357 I had one that was obsessed with carrots. Carrots and booze. She never met any type of booze she didn't like, except one particularly expensive (and disgusting IMHO) bottle of scotch. You had to not only keep your drinks covered, but hold the covers down, because once she realized you had alcohol, she got very pushy about it. I never let her have more than the single drop remaining at the bottom of the wine glass )because lol) , but if noobs were around, she would dunk her entire arm into their drink, even though I warned them to watch out. She lived to 16. I miss her. anonny42357 Wine from the glass is funnier when she had to reach in all the way up to her armpit to reach it. Even funnier was that she would get so into licking that sweet sweet nectar of the gods\ off her foot, that you could switch the wine glass for a wine glass of water without her noticing. If she turned around and put her foot in that and licked it only to realize it was common poor-people water, she would give you one hell of a stink eye.* Apparently my aunt got drunk and gave the cat a bit too much, and when mom cut off both the aunt any the cat, the cat got mean about it, which everyone found hilarious. \she thought it was sweet nectar. Amusingly, I don't actually like wine, and I rarely drink. I'm pretty sure that cat consumed alcohol on more occasions in her 16 years than I have in my whole 40!* \* I feel the need to shoehorn something in there about water? Like from the toilet? But electrolytes!* Maggiemayday You are The Chosen One. There is little you can do except accept the sacrificial offerings with grace and set out ant traps. Careful-Drama You could try going in the other direction - love bomb the cat. Pick it up for forced cuddles. (This is how I trained mine to stop waking me up in the night - now he cuddles with my husband who is gentle and wakes to pat him.) Chase it yelling 'here kitty kitty'. Wake it for cuddles if ever you find it sleeping. They often love the most on those who want nothing to do with them. Now of course, this can backfire. In which case, enjoy your new cat! ***UPDATE 11 DAYS LATER**\* First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved in with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm bringing it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was bringing it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way too used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's just really super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. Comments Jeldenil Kevin sounds like a great vet. I laughed out loud at his demonstration about how your new best friend is 'broken'. dutchy_chris You forgot the cat tax. translucent_steeds in 6 months his wife is going to post under r/dadswhodidnotwantpets OP note: Newton's cradle OOP forgot to pay the cat tax and updated it. Unsurprised to see the cat's color isorange. r/OneOrangeBraincell I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/attachedtothreads to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

ELBY at Barndominium lookout. Sorry I didn't realize it was custom to post the picture. YES there is a photoshop artifact near his right ear (your left) as I had to remove a window showing pictures of my kids original post here Update here First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved in with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm bringing it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things weregoing through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was bringing it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way too used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's just really super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping to find him sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. submitted by /u/spicedpumpkins to r/cats [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. Actually, let me repeat that - I. AM. NOT. THE. OP. I got TOO MANY COMMENTS and DMs addressing me as the OP last time. OOP is u/ThrowRA_notcool1 Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest Trigger Warnings: Cheating, surprise almost-step-kid, potential grooming? Mood Spoiler: Kinda depressing but things are looking up if taken at face value Reminder: do not comment on linked posts (rule 7). Latest update is 7 days old (rule 8). My SECOND time posting here so constructive criticism would be appreciated. Made some minor spacing/spelling edits. New updates are marked. My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, June 30th, 2024 Yes the title is f*cked up, I'm aware. My fiance (25M) and myself (24F) have been together since we were 17/18 years old. Honestly he was always kind, handsome, funny and everyone used to say I was so lucky to have the whole package. I felt so lucky too. He always treated me with love and respect, so this makes everything just so shocking for me. I have always had a good relationship with my mom, it has always been her and I against the world. My dad died in an accident when I was little. We always joked we are the real life Rory and Loreilai from Gilmore girls. My mom dated guys on and off and they were usually cool but nothing really passed the early stages. Around 4 years ago my mom told me she was pregnant which was a HUGE surprise. My mom was around 42 years old and although she was sort of dating someone recently (didn't meet the guy but knew she went on dates) it still was a big shock. She never thought she could be pregnant at her age (she had me when she was super young - an oopsie) and I can tell she was stressed and worried. I decided to support her, since she has always supported me and tried to reassure her. She then had my brother who is now (3 years old). I have a close relationship with my brother, I have helped taken care of him since he was born and I just love the little guy. My fiance was also always helpful with my brother, we would take him out for ice cream, playground, pool time during summer, etc. But nothing was "weird", he was just my then bf spending time with my brother and I. Now to the how I found out. My fiance and I live together since we finished College. My fiance was not at home since he was hanging out with friends but I was home bc I didn't feel like going out and just wanted to chill on my sofa. At some point during binge watching a series on Netflix, my laptop died and I was too lazy to go get my charger, so I just took my fiance's ipad. I know the password but honestly never used it before. The ipad logged in and I got a bunch of messages pinging (I guess he hasn't used it in a while too?). Anyways, this got my attention and I went to check it out and ofc I found everything. My mom's number wasn't under her name but I recognized the number and verified it with my phone. She was telling him she felt guilty and that I should know. He said he also felt guilty but couldn't lose me and they f*cked it up. She said that it was unfair for my brother to never not know his dad, and that if he could live having his son around not behaving like a dad but a brother in law. I BROKE DOWN. WHAT THE ACTUAL F??? There weren't a lot of older messages, just some photos stored of my brother as a newborn, my mom pregnant, and more photos of my brother growing up in an album. I couldn't anymore. I cried for what it seem ages and I wait for my bf to come back home. I wish I was one of those women that can pretend and get things together before confronting the cheater but I can't. He came back later that night (around 23:30) and I just gave him the ipad with the conversation opened and saw his face completely go pale. I asked for an explanation, when? how? why? and he didn't want to at first, but knew he had to. Apparently a few years back while I was traveling with some friends (girls trip) my fiance and mom had dinner together (this isn't strange since he has been part of the family for so long, sometimes mom and fiance would eat together at our place even if I was busy with sports or out - I did the same with his parents). Somehow (unclear how since he couldn't explain it well) one thing let to another and they ended up sleeping together. They felt guilty but apparently not guilty enough bc they slept together 2 -3 more times, using the excuse of meeting up to discuss how to tell me. Apparently when my mom got pregnant they stopped sleeping together and decided to not tell me, since my fiance "loved me and couldn't lose me" and my mom didn't wanna lose her daughter. So here we are now, with two of the most disgusting humans. I obviously broke the engagement, told my mom to never talk to me again and move in with a friend. I feel bad for my brother since I really love him, but I can't be around him now, I just can't. I feel like it would remind me of all those times we talked about having kids, I would be his baby mama, ONLY baby mama, we talked about this future since we were 17 years old, so I wanna puke every time I think how I was actually talking care of HIS child with someone else, while still having those dreams. I wanna puke. Editor's note: Comments were mostly supportive, with a few telling their own stories of cutting parents off & a couple with tales of spouses sleeping with parents. How is this even a thing? People be crazy. [UPDATE] My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, July 4th, 2024 (4 days later) First I want to thank everyone for the nice messages and comments. I was not expecting so much support. I'm still a mess not gonna lie, but after reading the comments I felt better, like a therapy mini session, so again thank you all. To the update. As I was afraid, I was indeed confronted near my office this week. I knew this was coming but thought maybe I had more time. My ex was the person to come find me. Yesterday (Wednesday) after finishing work and walking to where my car was parked my ex was sort of lingering waiting around. I thought about running not gonna lie, but I guess in the moment I felt "strong" enough to get over with it, instead of having that hanging above my head waiting to be approached again. He asked if we could talk and I said yes, but I didn't feel like having that conversation over coffee like we were old friends, it felt ridiculous so I told him to just talk right there (we were in the streets but somehow it wasn't crowed, but also not completely lonely - felt right). He basically said sorry 100 times, and that I deserved better ( I agreed). He said he did love me and that he still does but he would understand why I wouldn't want anything to do with him. He said that if I did in fact consider giving him a chance that he would go to therapy, alone or together or both and that he would work hard to win my trust back. I told him it wasn't possible, there was too much damage. This sounds calm when I type it but in the moment things came out more with louder tone and harsher words. Anyways, he did say that he is in the or will be (it was a bit of a blur) process of getting custody (partly) from my brother and that he in fact does wanna be a dad to him. He said he does not want to be together with my mom, that it was just a stupid mistake (SURE... BC 4-5 times mistake is just a random thing). He couldn't explain why he did it in the first place, I think he doesn't even know himself. I asked if he cheated with someone else before, he said no (not sure if to believe it but he sounded honest). I asked why he didn't come clean, and he said that after he did the deed he always felt panicked and it hits him that he could lose me and he just didn't want to. I told him it was meant to be found out, that what was his plan? to have my brother around and ignore their relationship forever? he said he didn't think far enough and that he was basically going with the idea one day at the time type of survival. I asked him if he felt that my mom seduced him? he said it was mutual, which made me wanna puke again. I asked if he has any contact with my mom since I found out. He said yes, but mostly about my brother (didn't elaborate more and I didn't pressed for more info on that). He said he told his parents the day before or the day before that not sure (Mon - Tuesday?) about everything. The parents were not happy but they are glad to start building now a relationship with my brother (their grandkid). Honestly, all of this felt like a punch in my stomach, I don't know why. The parents wanted to contacted me but he told them to wait till he approached me first, hence why he was here. I said if he started or thought about the custody before I found out and he said no, but when I found out was like the push he needed (great, seems I helped him get his shit together ----- ugh) and this past week he was arranging all of that mess (thats why he hasn't tried to see me before). He sounded and looked defeated, but the whole thing made me - besides sad - ANGRY. I was mainly depressed before but now I'm furious. I feel like he is still in an okay place and he isn't "paying" for his actions, beyond me leaving him. He will have my brother, his parents and others and move on with his life... while I LOST EVERYTHING. I hate him. We parted ways not on a happy note, and I told him to never get near me again, I was done. He asked me to see my brother still, that I was important to him and tried to guilt trip me and it worked, but I still think I can't. I don't know much about my mom and really hope she doesn't come find me any time soon bc I'm fuming right now and wont be able to handle it. I will be contacting my family and friends and finally doing the blasting TODAY!!! I think is about time and after my talk with him, I got the extra push I needed. Editor's note: Top comment suggested moving to Australia. Can't fault that line of thinking. [UPDATE 2] My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, July 7th, 2024 (3 days from last post, 7 from OG post) Hi everyone! Again I want to say thanks for all the support on my last update; honestly, like I said in my previous post, it really helped me a lot emotionally all your comments and also all the advice I got, that being about moving abroad or what to say when I do the blast. THANK YOU! Update: A lot has happened. I DID THE BLASTING! and this is how it went down. I first posted on my family's FB group we share, this is from my mom's family side. I used inspiration of what you all suggested in my last post and said something around the lines of: "I want to communicate to you all that my wedding with X has been permanently canceled, since I found out that my mom (name) and my ex (name) had in the last few years a sexual relationship which resulted in the birth of my little brother (name). I had no clue of any of this, and I found out about it last week. I won't have moving forward a relationship with (name - mom) and ex (name) for obvious reasons. I would appreciate your understanding and I felt it was only fair to let you know of the situation. Since I value transparency and honestly above all." I also included a screenshot of my mother's message (what I said to her once I found out and a message she managed to write back before I blocked her (didn't open the message till before the blasting - I didn't want to hear(read) her and be persuaded). It exploded. I had family reaching out via text and calling the whole day after the blasting. I would say most were very supportive and I could tell they were just shocked. There were a few neutral and some suspicious that "it wasn't the whole story and maybe I misunderstood". My grandparents were in the "maybe you misunderstood" category, which it wasn't surprising since my mom is super close to my grandparents and like I said before, my mom was always a good mom. So no red flags. I will be moving with a cousin that is more like a sister to me. I haven't reached out to her previously bc I knew once she knows everyone would, that's why I went to my friend's place. My cousin is devastated on my behalf and offered I live with her and her 2 kids until I can get my feet on the ground. I accepted and will be moving next week. I'm a bit afraid this will give my mom an easier access to me, but I can't stay at my friend's place forever. I then proceeded quickly to post a similar message for my (we share most of our friends since high school and local university) friends on Instagram. I created a "close friends" story and tagged most of them too. This went sort of "viral" in our friend group. Actually one of my friends sent me my Reddit post and asked if this was me, I confirmed. They were also shocked and speechless. They never thought my ex would even remotely do anything like this. They said "he was crazy about you". Oh well... apparently he went overboard on the crazy part. The group of friends is divided atm, some are completely "on my side" and some are thinking it isn't the whole truth. I told everyone that reached out that if they don't believe me to ask their friend if he is asking for custody of my little brother... that kinda shut them up for now. My ex deleted his social media apparently. Also my ex's parents called me like I guessed they would. They were kind to me and were very sorry about everything. I got the feeling they are also overwhelmed and very disappointed. However, it was clear they will be supporting their son. They are very upset at my mother, and don't want anything to do with her, but not sure how that will work with my little brother and everything else. They tried to give me "info" about the custody and what is my ex up to now, but I shut that down quickly and told them I don't want any info, I want to move on. I also asked them to not reach out in the near future, that I needed distance, specially if they will be supporting my ex (he is living with his parents atm). Also my ex and my mother after the blast were going nuts trying to reach out to me. They tried calling my friend (who she blocked them) and reaching out from different numbers. I had to put my phone on silence and ignore everyone. However my mother sent me a long text (from another number), and that was a weird text. She said that I was being cruel and that she didn't think she raised me that way. She said she thought we had a better relationship than me blasting out "laundry" like that without talking to her first. That I didn't have the whole picture. She did mentioned something that confused me. She said in her long ass text, that the reason she slept with my ex, is because he reminded him of my dad. That it was grief. That she didn't mean to "use" him to heal her pain, but she wasn't strong enough. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??? Like did she think that my ex looks physically like my dad? or personality? or what?? I have seen photos of my dad, and well, yea my ex isn't super different but also not super alike. I mean they share brown/dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin... but that's not so uncommon, I don't see what else? I don't know. That threw me for a loop and honestly makes me wanna confront my mom just to know what the hell? From all the thing she could say I was NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm holding on better, I don't cry every hour or wanna murder them. But, I'm still sad and upset and it just feels like it isn't my life, that is a big joke or a bad dream and I will wake up to my "normal" life. I also need to really start planning my future and start applying for jobs in other cities, or maybe check the possibilities abroad more seriously. I might as for 2-3 days off work to really get my thought together and do some research. I'm terrified tbh. I feel frozen, but I know I need to start moving. Editor's notes: "Apparently he went overboard on the crazy part" is now a flair! This post has some funny comments: Commenter #1: That mom is hilarious, “I thought I raised you better” “I never in a million years thought you’d fuck my boyfriend, but here we are”. Commenter #2: My petty ass would be sending her that Commenter #3: Right? The irony of her blaming you for airing laundry when she did that! Commenter #4: "The laundry wouldn't be dirty if you hadn't fucked my boyfriend on it" Editor's note: Commenter #4 - u/Llama-no_drama - is the proud author of a flair! Also made an appearance in the last BORU! NEW UPDATES BELOW HERE: Quick update: 02.08, August 2nd, 2024 (26 days from last post, 33 from OG post) Hi all, it seems now posting on my profile its much easier to give quicker updates or smaller updates than a huge sub. (Editor's note: also she got kicked off of r/TrueOffMyChest for posting too many updates.) So here it goes: My group of friends is divided. Some of his closest friends had been saying that I should give him another chance, than no one is perfect but he loves me, that he was always good to me and I shouldn't just turn my back on him. They even said that Max, little brother and I could be a perfect little family and that I could make sure that my little bro has a good "step-mom", who better than his blood relative, right? - This is so bullshit. They are talking like he messed up on something minor or even medium. Like he lied about getting laid off work, or like he forgot to pay our bills for a month, like wtf? I have some girl friends that are complete on my side and supporting me, which is nice. But our group friend isn't solid anymore and everyone is taking "sides". I did have a conversation with Max on the phone tho. I admit I had a bit to drink that night since I was coming back from meeting some friends for dinner and I had a few glasses of wine and a cocktail. But I remember the talk. DISCLAIMER: This is not the exact conversation but I will put what I remember on the best of my abilities. Me: Do you think that you were groomed? Max: I never thought of that, but maybe? Me: How did you even get a crush on my mom, I thought we always hung out in a group and my mom wasn't really there more than a few min and passing by. Was it looks? Max: yes and no. I thought she was pretty and therefore the teen crush, but I then also tried to talk to her by passing through your house and ask if you were there (he knew I wasn't) and then had a chat with your mom. Me: Was I always second choice? Max: No you aren't now Me: And back then, when u asked me to be ur gf? Max: ... (silence) Me: Tell me the truth please Max: I don't know. I did like you, but I still had the crush. . . Me: do you wanna be with her now? Max: God, no. Me: Why did you do it Max? get her our of your system? so you still wanted her? did you want her during the times we had sex? Max: No, don't. I only wanted you. I don't know. I felt like those YOLO moments. I thought I would give my teen self what he always wanted. I felt so stupid. Me: Then why did you do it MORE times? Max; I really don't know. We were silent a lot and not long after we hung up. It was a "short" call, and honestly emotional. I was sort of drunk-ish and he seemed emotionally drained too. I feel stupid for "opening" up and calling him and asking those questions. I said a 1000 times I don't wanna know more, but I was weak. Every time I feel like moving on I get hit again by everything. My brain can't understand yet. On my mom front, well not a lot has happened. She continues to try to "fix" it. My grandparents reached out to me but I didn't answer, I'm sure they were trying to give me support, so.... Update 19.08 - I'm moving!! August 18th, 2024 (16 days from last post, 49 from OG post, 9 days ago) Hi everyone! so I'm finally here with an update and a good one at that. I'M MOVING TO SPAIN!!! I got the job as an au pair near one of the biggest cities in Spain. I'm so excited. I'm flying in a few days and starting 01.09 (Editor's note: took me way too long to realize that the day is first, not the month, so this is September 1st - curse my American-centered date standards and my dyslexia!) with the family. The kids are adorable too. I will be learning Spanish too, which I always wanted to do anyways so it all feels like heaven sent. I haven't told almost anyone about it, just a few friends I trust and of course my cousin who I live with. Also my boss. My mother has been telling people I'm being mean to her when she wants to fix everything. She made a mistake and is trying to fix it but I'm being difficult. She is just "human". Not surprising. I'm now really coming to terms on how self-centered she is and has always been. I'm sad I lost the mom I thought I had. Feels like if she died. My new therapist (yes, I got one the last week yay) said I'm grieving. Max has left me a bit a lone since the last call we had. I heard he is focusing on my little brother and just staying under the radar. I have had some short phone calls with my little brother which has been bitter sweet, but he is doing okay. He of course doesn't know what's really happening but he is happy with having a "new dad". It doesn't hurt as much as it did before, but still hurts. Thank you all for all the support!!!! Commenter: For the record, spanish men are hot. 😛😋 OOP: Heard they are also ladies men...but going with an open mind and also focusing on myself for now. I'm 100% not ready for a relationship or even a hook up...but eventually, lets see. Editor's notes: Marking as concluded since she's moving and this seems somewhat final. Hopefully we'll get new adventures that have nothing to do with the clusterbleep that she's leaving behind. submitted by /u/themysteryoflogic to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_notcool1 Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest Trigger Warnings: Cheating, surprise almost-step-kid Mood Spoiler: Kinda depressing? Also, if you're not going WTF at SOME point during this, you're more cynical than I am Reminder: do not comment on linked posts (rule 7). Latest update is 7 days old (rule 8). My first time posting here so constructive criticism would be appreciated. Made some minor spacing/spelling edits. This was...a read, for sure. My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, June 30th, 2024 Yes the title is f*cked up, I'm aware. My fiance (25M) and myself (24F) have been together since we were 17/18 years old. Honestly he was always kind, handsome, funny and everyone used to say I was so lucky to have the whole package. I felt so lucky too. He always treated me with love and respect, so this makes everything just so shocking for me. I have always had a good relationship with my mom, it has always been her and I against the world. My dad died in an accident when I was little. We always joked we are the real life Rory and Loreilai from Gilmore girls. My mom dated guys on and off and they were usually cool but nothing really passed the early stages. Around 4 years ago my mom told me she was pregnant which was a HUGE surprise. My mom was around 42 years old and although she was sort of dating someone recently (didn't meet the guy but knew she went on dates) it still was a big shock. She never thought she could be pregnant at her age (she had me when she was super young - an oopsie) and I can tell she was stressed and worried. I decided to support her, since she has always supported me and tried to reassure her. She then had my brother who is now (3 years old). I have a close relationship with my brother, I have helped taken care of him since he was born and I just love the little guy. My fiance was also always helpful with my brother, we would take him out for ice cream, playground, pool time during summer, etc. But nothing was "weird", he was just my then bf spending time with my brother and I. Now to the how I found out. My fiance and I live together since we finished College. My fiance was not at home since he was hanging out with friends but I was home bc I didn't feel like going out and just wanted to chill on my sofa. At some point during binge watching a series on Netflix, my laptop died and I was too lazy to go get my charger, so I just took my fiance's ipad. I know the password but honestly never used it before. The ipad logged in and I got a bunch of messages pinging (I guess he hasn't used it in a while too?). Anyways, this got my attention and I went to check it out and ofc I found everything. My mom's number wasn't under her name but I recognized the number and verified it with my phone. She was telling him she felt guilty and that I should know. He said he also felt guilty but couldn't lose me and they f*cked it up. She said that it was unfair for my brother to never not know his dad, and that if he could live having his son around not behaving like a dad but a brother in law. I BROKE DOWN. WHAT THE ACTUAL F??? There weren't a lot of older messages, just some photos stored of my brother as a newborn, my mom pregnant, and more photos of my brother growing up in an album. I couldn't anymore. I cried for what it seem ages and I wait for my bf to come back home. I wish I was one of those women that can pretend and get things together before confronting the cheater but I can't. He came back later that night (around 23:30) and I just gave him the ipad with the conversation opened and saw his face completely go pale. I asked for an explanation, when? how? why? and he didn't want to at first, but knew he had to. Apparently a few years back while I was traveling with some friends (girls trip) my fiance and mom had dinner together (this isn't strange since he has been part of the family for so long, sometimes mom and fiance would eat together at our place even if I was busy with sports or out - I did the same with his parents). Somehow (unclear how since he couldn't explain it well) one thing let to another and they ended up sleeping together. They felt guilty but apparently not guilty enough bc they slept together 2 -3 more times, using the excuse of meeting up to discuss how to tell me. Apparently when my mom got pregnant they stopped sleeping together and decided to not tell me, since my fiance "loved me and couldn't lose me" and my mom didn't wanna lose her daughter. So here we are now, with two of the most disgusting humans. I obviously broke the engagement, told my mom to never talk to me again and move in with a friend. I feel bad for my brother since I really love him, but I can't be around him now, I just can't. I feel like it would remind me of all those times we talked about having kids, I would be his baby mama, ONLY baby mama, we talked about this future since we were 17 years old, so I wanna puke every time I think how I was actually talking care of HIS child with someone else, while still having those dreams. I wanna puke. Editor's note: Comments were mostly supportive, with a few telling their own stories of cutting parents off & a couple with tales of spouses sleeping with parents. How is this even a thing? People be crazy. [UPDATE] My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, July 4th, 2024 (4 days later) First I want to thank everyone for the nice messages and comments. I was not expecting so much support. I'm still a mess not gonna lie, but after reading the comments I felt better, like a therapy mini session, so again thank you all. To the update. As I was afraid, I was indeed confronted near my office this week. I knew this was coming but thought maybe I had more time. My ex was the person to come find me. Yesterday (Wednesday) after finishing work and walking to where my car was parked my ex was sort of lingering waiting around. I thought about running not gonna lie, but I guess in the moment I felt "strong" enough to get over with it, instead of having that hanging above my head waiting to be approached again. He asked if we could talk and I said yes, but I didn't feel like having that conversation over coffee like we were old friends, it felt ridiculous so I told him to just talk right there (we were in the streets but somehow it wasn't crowed, but also not completely lonely - felt right). He basically said sorry 100 times, and that I deserved better ( I agreed). He said he did love me and that he still does but he would understand why I wouldn't want anything to do with him. He said that if I did in fact consider giving him a chance that he would go to therapy, alone or together or both and that he would work hard to win my trust back. I told him it wasn't possible, there was too much damage. This sounds calm when I type it but in the moment things came out more with louder tone and harsher words. Anyways, he did say that he is in the or will be (it was a bit of a blur) process of getting custody (partly) from my brother and that he in fact does wanna be a dad to him. He said he does not want to be together with my mom, that it was just a stupid mistake (SURE... BC 4-5 times mistake is just a random thing). He couldn't explain why he did it in the first place, I think he doesn't even know himself. I asked if he cheated with someone else before, he said no (not sure if to believe it but he sounded honest). I asked why he didn't come clean, and he said that after he did the deed he always felt panicked and it hits him that he could lose me and he just didn't want to. I told him it was meant to be found out, that what was his plan? to have my brother around and ignore their relationship forever? he said he didn't think far enough and that he was basically going with the idea one day at the time type of survival. I asked him if he felt that my mom seduced him? he said it was mutual, which made me wanna puke again. I asked if he has any contact with my mom since I found out. He said yes, but mostly about my brother (didn't elaborate more and I didn't pressed for more info on that). He said he told his parents the day before or the day before that not sure (Mon - Tuesday?) about everything. The parents were not happy but they are glad to start building now a relationship with my brother (their grandkid). Honestly, all of this felt like a punch in my stomach, I don't know why. The parents wanted to contacted me but he told them to wait till he approached me first, hence why he was here. I said if he started or thought about the custody before I found out and he said no, but when I found out was like the push he needed (great, seems I helped him get his shit together ----- ugh) and this past week he was arranging all of that mess (thats why he hasn't tried to see me before). He sounded and looked defeated, but the whole thing made me - besides sad - ANGRY. I was mainly depressed before but now I'm furious. I feel like he is still in an okay place and he isn't "paying" for his actions, beyond me leaving him. He will have my brother, his parents and others and move on with his life... while I LOST EVERYTHING. I hate him. We parted ways not on a happy note, and I told him to never get near me again, I was done. He asked me to see my brother still, that I was important to him and tried to guilt trip me and it worked, but I still think I can't. I don't know much about my mom and really hope she doesn't come find me any time soon bc I'm fuming right now and wont be able to handle it. I will be contacting my family and friends and finally doing the blasting TODAY!!! I think is about time and after my talk with him, I got the extra push I needed. Editor's note: Top comment suggested moving to Australia. Can't fault that line of thinking. [UPDATE 2] My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid, July 7th, 2024 (3 days from last post, 7 from OG post) Hi everyone! Again I want to say thanks for all the support on my last update; honestly, like I said in my previous post, it really helped me a lot emotionally all your comments and also all the advice I got, that being about moving abroad or what to say when I do the blast. THANK YOU! Update: A lot has happened. I DID THE BLASTING! and this is how it went down. I first posted on my family's FB group we share, this is from my mom's family side. I used inspiration of what you all suggested in my last post and said something around the lines of: "I want to communicate to you all that my wedding with X has been permanently canceled, since I found out that my mom (name) and my ex (name) had in the last few years a sexual relationship which resulted in the birth of my little brother (name). I had no clue of any of this, and I found out about it last week. I won't have moving forward a relationship with (name - mom) and ex (name) for obvious reasons. I would appreciate your understanding and I felt it was only fair to let you know of the situation. Since I value transparency and honestly above all." I also included a screenshot of my mother's message (what I said to her once I found out and a message she managed to write back before I blocked her (didn't open the message till before the blasting - I didn't want to hear(read) her and be persuaded). It exploded. I had family reaching out via text and calling the whole day after the blasting. I would say most were very supportive and I could tell they were just shocked. There were a few neutral and some suspicious that "it wasn't the whole story and maybe I misunderstood". My grandparents were in the "maybe you misunderstood" category, which it wasn't surprising since my mom is super close to my grandparents and like I said before, my mom was always a good mom. So no red flags. I will be moving with a cousin that is more like a sister to me. I haven't reached out to her previously bc I knew once she knows everyone would, that's why I went to my friend's place. My cousin is devastated on my behalf and offered I live with her and her 2 kids until I can get my feet on the ground. I accepted and will be moving next week. I'm a bit afraid this will give my mom an easier access to me, but I can't stay at my friend's place forever. I then proceeded quickly to post a similar message for my (we share most of our friends since high school and local university) friends on Instagram. I created a "close friends" story and tagged most of them too. This went sort of "viral" in our friend group. Actually one of my friends sent me my Reddit post and asked if this was me, I confirmed. They were also shocked and speechless. They never thought my ex would even remotely do anything like this. They said "he was crazy about you". Oh well... apparently he went overboard on the crazy part. The group of friends is divided atm, some are completely "on my side" and some are thinking it isn't the whole truth. I told everyone that reached out that if they don't believe me to ask their friend if he is asking for custody of my little brother... that kinda shut them up for now. My ex deleted his social media apparently. Also my ex's parents called me like I guessed they would. They were kind to me and were very sorry about everything. I got the feeling they are also overwhelmed and very disappointed. However, it was clear they will be supporting their son. They are very upset at my mother, and don't want anything to do with her, but not sure how that will work with my little brother and everything else. They tried to give me "info" about the custody and what is my ex up to now, but I shut that down quickly and told them I don't want any info, I want to move on. I also asked them to not reach out in the near future, that I needed distance, specially if they will be supporting my ex (he is living with his parents atm). Also my ex and my mother after the blast were going nuts trying to reach out to me. They tried calling my friend (who she blocked them) and reaching out from different numbers. I had to put my phone on silence and ignore everyone. However my mother sent me a long text (from another number), and that was a weird text. She said that I was being cruel and that she didn't think she raised me that way. She said she thought we had a better relationship than me blasting out "laundry" like that without talking to her first. That I didn't have the whole picture. She did mentioned something that confused me. She said in her long ass text, that the reason she slept with my ex, is because he reminded him of my dad. That it was grief. That she didn't mean to "use" him to heal her pain, but she wasn't strong enough. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??? Like did she think that my ex looks physically like my dad? or personality? or what?? I have seen photos of my dad, and well, yea my ex isn't super different but also not super alike. I mean they share brown/dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin... but that's not so uncommon, I don't see what else? I don't know. That threw me for a loop and honestly makes me wanna confront my mom just to know what the hell? From all the thing she could say I was NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm holding on better, I don't cry every hour or wanna murder them. But, I'm still sad and upset and it just feels like it isn't my life, that is a big joke or a bad dream and I will wake up to my "normal" life. I also need to really start planning my future and start applying for jobs in other cities, or maybe check the possibilities abroad more seriously. I might as for 2-3 days off work to really get my thought together and do some research. I'm terrified tbh. I feel frozen, but I know I need to start moving. Editor's note: This one has some funny comments: Commenter #1: That mom is hilarious, “I thought I raised you better” “I never in a million years thought you’d fuck my boyfriend, but here we are”. Commenter #2: My petty ass would be sending her that Commenter #3: Right? The irony of her blaming you for airing laundry when she did that! Commenter #4: "The laundry wouldn't be dirty if you hadn't fucked my boyfriend on it" Editor's note: Marking as Ongoing because I'm hoping for future updates. submitted by /u/themysteryoflogic to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Go Fest 2024 is here, bringing spawns and exclusive raids with it from July 13, 10 AM - 6PM (spawns) / 8PM (raids) to July 14, 10AM - 6/8 PM. I answer big questions briefly and explain strategy for free and ticketed players. Feel free to share to help your friends! TL;DR at the end! 🦉 This event is not F2P friendly. Wild spawns are shiny boosted (1/128) only if you have the ticket, and it is raid-pass heavy. (Raids are NOT shiny boosted with the ticket.) Despite this, there are very important parts of this event everyone should prioritize. Specifically, Necrozma and its fusion forms, and collection-focused wild spawns. I will go from Fusion Necrozma raids, the most important aspect, to wild spawns, and wrap up with Mega evolution recommendations to maximize your bonus candy gained from this event. I will discuss exactly what you need to do to plan your resources. -------What is Necrozma?------- To introduce the raids, we have to introduce Necrozma. Necrozma is a Psychic Pokémon that has the ability to “fuse” with either Solgaleo to get Dusk Mane Necrozma, a powerful Steel/Psychic Pokémon, or Lunala to get Dawn Wings Necrozma, a powerful Ghost/Psychic Pokémon. These fusion forms need one Necrozma + Solgaleo +1,000 Solar Fusion Energy for Dusk Mane, or Necrozma + Lunala + 1,000 Lunar Energy for Dawn Wings, respectively. Once Necrozma is fused, it will stay that way until you unfuse it, and you will have your Necrozma and Solgaleo/Lunala returned to you. Fused Necrozma will base its power-up level, IVs, and shiny status off of the Necrozma that is being fused, not the Lunala/Solgaleo. Why does fused Necrozma matter above all else? Apart from being a very strong Pokémon, Dusk Mane Necrozma gets Sunsteel Strike, and Dawn Wings Necrozma gets Moongeist Beam, both of which are phenomenal moves. Let's get technical. Let me explain. In raids, a “charge move” has three stats: its “damage,” “cooldown,” and “energy.” "Damage" is the main scalar for how hard a move hits (which also depends on the attack of your Pokémon, super effectiveness, STAB, weather, party power, etc.). A move's “cooldown” is how long it takes for the move to deal damage, from the moment you press it to the moment you see the boss’s health go down. For raids, “energy” is either 33.3…, 50, or 100, and Sunsteel Strike / Moongeist Beam are both 100-energy moves. The damage these moves deal divided by their cooldown gives Damage Per Second (DPS). For Sunsteel Strike / Moongeist Beam, that is 230 dmg / 3.10sec = 74.19 DPS, which places them just a touch below the most powerful DPS moves in the game, Origin Pulse and Precipice Blades (76.47 DPS). But Sunsteel Strike / Moongeist Beam have another factor: they are the third-highest Damage Per Energy (DPE) moves in the game, at 230 dmg / 100 energy = 2.3 DPE. This places it just under Mega Rayquaza’s Dragon Ascent (2.8) and little Victini’s V-Create (2.38) DPE-wise. The product of a move’s DPS x DPE can give an theoretical idea of how powerful a move is. Let’s call it Hoot Move Scale Factor, or HMSF (lol). Famous moves like Kyogre/Groudon’s Origin Pulse/Precipice Blades are 76.47 DPS x 1.3 DPE = 99.411 HMSF. Mega Rayquaza’s famous Dragon Ascent is 40 x 2.8 = 112 HMSF. For Sunsteel Strike / Moongeist Beam, that is 76.47 DPS x 2.3 DPE = 175.881 HMSF. That’s absolutely absurd! Sunsteel Strike / Moongeist Beam are busted! They are, arguably, the strongest raid moves in the game! Combine that with 277 base attack stat for Dusk Mane/ Dawn Wings Necrozma (for comparison, regular Kyogre/Groudon’s attack is 270, and regular Rayquaza’s is 284, putting it smack in between), you have a recipe for a Pokémon that hits insanely hard. Manually putting Sunsteel Strike’s datamined stats into Gamepress’s DPS simulator, Dusk Mane Necrozma dethrones the famed Shadow Metagross. With 23.526 damage per second (DPS) in raids compared to Shadow Metagross’s 21.763 DPS, and Dusk Mane’s higher bulk resulting in 822.3 total damage output (TDO) vs S. Metagross’s 627, Sunsteel Strike Dusk Mane Necrozma is the new Steel-type king. It hits harder and survives longer. This is crucial against Fairy bosses, where Steel is both super effective and resists incoming damage. With how powerful Dusk Mane Necrozma is, it the top pick against Ice and Rock bosses as well. We have a similar case for Moongeist Beam Dawn Wings Necrozma. While technically Mega Gengar has a tiny bit more DPS, at 23.293 DPS vs Dawn Wings Necrozma’s 23.258, Mega Gengar suffers from two major flaws. Terrible bulk, and Its Poison subtyping is a weakness against Ghost’s primary target: Psychic. Not only that, but you also get energy towards charge moves by absorbing damage in raids, so having bulk and tanking hits improves DPS on non-glassy Pokémon. These three factors combine to give Dawn Wings Necrozma 811.7 Total Damage Output (TDO), versus Mega Gengar’s 588.1 TDO. Against Psychic bosses like Mewtwo or Lugia, these values are even further apart. Dawn Wings Necrozma is, unquestionably, the #1 Ghost type raid attacker in the game. And don’t even get me started on Master League. Dusk Mane Necrozma / Dawn Wings Necrozma are set to be overwhelming menaces there. They beat both Dialga-O and Palkia-O (and Alter forms), along with a very generous amount of other extremely powerful Pokémon. They are going to be the new Master League meta moving forward. Period. Zero questions. Case closed. -------RAIDS------- EDIT: Raids only give 100 energy towards their respective fusion form. Additionally, there is currently no way to get more fusion energy. Walking does NOT currently give fusion energy. Please keep these details in mind when reading. So how do you get these fusion Necrozma forms? All players will receive a Cosmog through research on Sunday, July 14. You can evolve it into either Lunala or Solgaleo. You can choose which one for the corresponding Fusion form. If it’s your only one, it’s a hard choice. I can’t decide for you, but I would prioritize Lunala’s fusion because it is strong in ML, and there aren’t a lot of rock/fairy/ice bosses for Solgaleo’s fusion. However, Solgaleo is also extremely good in ML and is more of a generalist because of its defensive typing. You really can’t pick wrong here. But to get Necrozma, that’s the part where Niantic wants your money. Without the codes, it would be ten raids each, minimum, for a total of 20 if you wanted both. You need 1,000 Solar Fusion energy to fuse one Dusk Mane Necrozma, and 1,000 Lunar Fusion Energy to fuse one Dawn Wings Necrozma. Respectively, you need 2,000 total energy to get both Necrozma fusion forms, AT MINIMUM. This means that obtaining sufficient energy is your #1 target during Go Fest. "Fortunately," Niantic has given us “free” energy to get us running in the money hamster wheel. Much easier to justify spending money towards something you’ve already started than doing 10 raids for two Pokémon you have nothing towards, right? And now they know who checks their social media accounts for codes, and they know how much you spend, so they can sell that personal information to Facebook, Tiktok, Instagram etc. to scrape even MORE money off of you! Pretty evil genius. Who doesn’t love some good old-fashioned Niantic candy poisoning? But it’s so yummy... Following these four codes, you can receive 200 Solar and 200 Lunar fusion energy, respectively, which brings the total down to 1,600 energy. Solar and Lunar Fusion Energies are only available on Sunday, July 14th by defeating Dawn Wings / Dusk Mane Necrozma in raids. Beating Necrozma on Saturday will NOT give Fusion energy. You already have 200 energy. Each Fusion Necrozma raid will yield about 100 energy (if done fast), so plan to do 8 additional raids for each form, for a total of 8+8=16 raids. You should really have more, because Niantic is known for having server issues during events and eating raid passes that give no rewards for raids. Even if you have the code and free daily raid passes, prepare 18 passes as a safe minimum. My advice for F2P: Save your free daily raid pass from Saturday and carry it over to Sunday so you have a total of 2 free daily raid passes. If you don’t have at least 8 total premium/remote raid passes to get just one fusion form (2 free daily + 6 premium/remote raid passes + 200 energy from codes = 10 raid equivalents needed for 1,000 solar/lunar energy), you are out of luck, and either have to spend money or bite the bullet and move on to my wild spawns section. If you’re F2P and have 8 total raid passes, be sure to get only Lunar or Solar energy, respectively, and make sure you’re getting at least 100 energy per raid by beating them quickly. This can be achieved by inviting friends through an app like Poke Genie (not affiliated) or Pokebattler Raid Party (also NA). If you are like me and spent your hard-earned money on greedy Niantic’s raid passes, then please do all 8 raids for both Solar and Lunar fusion energies. Buddy-walking a Necrozma after fusing any Necrozma will NOT currently yield more fusion energy, like walking a previously mega-evolved species of Pokémon as your buddy will. So you have to get fusion energy to last a long time. And considering that Niantic STILL hasn’t given us a way to get Spacial Rend/Roar of Time on Go Tour Origin Palkia/Dialga, we cannot take for granted that we will be able to walk for more energy. Niantic is too inconsistent. Fortunately, Niantic gives us Beast Balls during this Go Fest, which means we can catch all ultra beasts (which includes Necrozma) with an 8x higher chance orange catch circle (compared to the normal dark-red 2% Base Catch Rate circle for legendary raids). Necrozma is also fairly easy to get consistent excellent throws on by using the circle locking method (not affiliated), so you should be able to move between raids really quickly. This is essential for Sunday, when the Solar/Lunar Fusion Energies will be available (and you need to do ~17 raids)! Okay, so Necrozma is out of the way. Now what? There are 9 ultra beasts globally in 5-star raids. To be incredibly clear: Assuming infinite raid passes, Necrozma raids, even base Necrozma on Saturday without the Fusion energy reward, should ALWAYS be prioritized over basic ultra beast raids when available, because the only way to get a good fusion Necrozma is by having a good base Necrozma to fuse with. And Necrozma is an order of magnitude stronger than any of the Ultra Beasts. Just make sure you have at least 8 raid passes planned for Sunday when you are beating DW/DM Necrozma for fusion energy. Again, you should really have more, because Niantic is known for having server issues and eating raid passes and giving no rewards for raids. Plan at least 9 to be safe, even if you have the code and daily raid passes. I’ll be doing way more, but this is general advice. The following advice is made assuming you have them all in your dex. For those of us with an embarrassing amount of money spent on this game and extra passes to throw around, I will briefly describe the ultra beasts in order of greatest to least usefulness to you, dear reader: #1: Kartana. Has a colossal attack stat. Trailing Mega Sceptile by a hair, Kartana’s 20.3 DPS compared to M. Sceptile’s 21.445 is redeemed by the fact that you can use 5 Kartanas on a team, while you can only use one M. Sceptile on that team. Grass is a useful attacking type against Ground and Water bosses (like Groudon and Kyogre), and Kartana is the king of Grass. After saving resources for Necrozma, Get at least 5 Kartana for a Grass raid team. Grade: “A+” raid! #2: Guzzlord. Fantastic in both Great League and Ultra League (but you have to get lucky in a trade to get one for Great League, or use the one from the Timed Research). Has one of my favorite shinies. Terrible in raids. “A” raid. #3: Xurkitree. The top electric attacker (apart from Shadow Electivire, which is really hard to build, and only has 1.9% more DPS and 11% LESS TDO), beating even Mega Manectric and Shadow Raikou. Also a decent budget Fairy-type attacker, albeit without a Fairy fast move. Not viable in PvP, but great in raids! Grade: “A” raid. #4: Buzzwole. Good in Ultra League, but not amazing there. It beats meta names like Cobalion, Steelix, Swampert, Poliwrath, and Virizion, and it has access to Power-Up Punch, Superpower, and Lunge, all of which are established charge moves. It’s not good in raids. Grade: “A-” raid. #5: Nihilego. Formerly the top non-shadow Poison raid attacker, this Ultra Beast is still quite strong, but it is out-DPS’d by Naganadel, who has 17.278 DPS to Nihilego’s 16.305. That being said, most only have one Naganadel (or zero if you’re like me and like Poipole), so Nihilego is the de-facto king of poison damage. But poison’s use applications are limited–being super effective to grass, which really requires Mega Rayquaza, and Fairy, which really requires the other thing this Go Fest: Sunsteel Strike Dusk Mane Necrozma. While it is a good Poison type raid attacker, its use cases are limited. PvP-wise, it’s spice at best in an ever-power-creeping ML meta. Grade: “B” raid. #6: Blacephalon. On paper, Blacephalon is the highest non-mega non-shadow DPS Fire type in the game. However, it suffers deeply from lacking bulk, and as I mentioned earlier, having bulk allows you to soak up damage during raids, which in turn gives you energy for your next charge move, giving you higher DPS than if that charge move had caused you to faint. Because of this, even though Blacephalon has 19.783 DPS to Fusion Flare Reshiram’s 19.312 DPS, its extremely frail 351.3 Total Damage Output causes it to become truly lackluster compared to Reshiram’s 666.3 TDO. Please, please use Reshiram as a 5-backline if you don’t have a strong team of Shadow Blaziken or Shadow Darmanitan. It will have higher DPS than Blacephalon, even without Fusion Flare (and with Overheat). In PvP, Blacephalon is the definition of spice. He isn't even ranked on PvPoke! However, he gets Incinerate, Shadow Ball, and Mystical Fire. This is actually a very, very solid moveset. He plays like Shadow Typhlosion, or full-flame-charged Talonflame on ¼ hp. He gets eaten alive by fast move pressure, but he is a wild card your opponents will never expect or know how to deal with. The 3 (then 2) incinerate-turn Mystical Fire is actually useful because if you win the lead, the opponent’s second Pokémon can have its attack debuffed and you’ll get an easier time for your second. It also never loses CMP! That being said, please don’t run it, unless you’re like me and have so many built Pokémon and want to try something hilariously spicy for a change. Grade: “C+” raid. #7: Pheromosa. Technically, Pheromosa is the highest DPS Bug type in the game. But it is really held back by a number of decisive factors. Firstly, its bulk–even lower than Blacephalon’s–gives it zero ability to charge from damage taken in raids. Second, the Bug typing itself is outclassed against the three types it is super-effective to: Dark, Grass, and Psychic. Against dark, you must be using one of the many higher DPS and higher bulk Fighting types (like Blaziken, Heracross, or Gardevoir, all mega). If it’s Guzzlord, you should be using Fairy for the double-weakness. If it’s Grass, Rayquaza is a no-brainer, and Primal Groudon can even be used (albeit with ETM Fire Punch) for the XL-candy boost. Against Psychic, Moongeist Beam Dawn Wings Necrozma is ideal, or Mega Tyranitar if you don’t have one yet. Bug itself is just left in the trash bin of typings. Because of these factors, Pheromosa is decisively left out of the raid attacker conversation. It does not receive any favors in PvP, either, with low bulk and subpar fast moves (Bug Bite and Lunge…). Maybe it would be spice if it had Counter, but it doesn’t even learn that in the main games! It really is just sad. Grade: “D-” raid. Avoid. #8: Celesteela. In both GL and UL, it’s like a MUCH, MUCH, MUCH worse Skarmory, losing everything and picking up almost nothing. Even with a perfect steel/flying typing, its moveset holds it back from success in Great League and Ultra League. With too low of an attack stat for PvE utility, this is, sadly, not going to be a meta-relevant Pokémon in any capacity. Never, ever use it! This is just a dex entry. Grade: “D-” raid. Avoid. #9: Stakataka. Initially compared to Bastiodon for its Rock/Steel-typing, sky-high defense, and slow charge moves. It may seem tempting to call it the “Bastiodon of UL,” but it’s really just a worse Aggron, losing both Cresselias, Gligar, Guzzlord, and Umbreon for no additional wins. Additionally, it gets smacked around in ML by virtually everything. Now available for GL through the timed research, it’s sadly a faaaaaaaaaar worse Bastiodon there, with too high of an attack stat to get to a high enough level to actualize its respectable defense stat. It sits decisively out of both Raids and PvP. Grade: “D-” raid! One = done! -------WILD SPAWNS------- There are a LOT of wild spawns. I really like the clarity of this Leekduck infographic that shows them all. On Saturday, July 13th, they will have rotating “habitats” which means that every hour, a different pool for wild spawns will happen. On Sunday, July 14th, all of the different habitats will be spawning at once. All Pokémon in all habitats will spawn regardless of time. I have linked the wild spawns here, and it also shows Saturday’s schedule. For brevity’s sake, I can’t discuss each one in detail, but as a well-versed player, I can focus on the ones that matter to most people. To evaluate a wild spawn’s PvP IVs, download Poke Genie and import a screenshot of the Pokémon’s IVs. It will tell you if it is worth keeping. Rule of thumb: Low attack, High Def & HP is good, else bad for PvP. 3-stars (or 4-stars) are also nice, but that is easy to ID. ---BOTH DAYS (10 AM-6 PM)--- Dawn Meadow/Shining Day: Day Scarf Espeon: Not viable in PvP or PvE. Has an amazing green shiny. A nice collection piece. Creeping Dusk/Darkest Night: Night Scarf Umbreon: Umbreon is actually quite good in GL and UL, but good luck getting the IVs for both, and you’ll have to use an Elite TM for Last Resort. ---IF YOU HAVE THE TICKET: ALL TIMES, ALL DAY, BOTH DAYS (10 AM-6 PM)--- Unowns D, A, Y, N, I, G, H, T. Collection, about as rare as the Lake Trio in the wild outside of the event. Definitely keep! ---DAWN MEADOW (10-11 AM, 2-3 PM)--- Pidgey: Great in GL and UL, needs a lot of XL for UL. Useful Normal/Flying catch-candy-boosting mega. Very old. Sun Crown Pikachu! Go Fest exclusive costume, definitely catch! Collection. Cannot evolve. Hoothoot. Decent as Noctowl in GL, but was nerfed ages ago. Wingull. Great as Pelipper in GL, good as Pelipper in UL. Snivy. Fantastic as Serperior in GL and UL. Cottonee. Decent as Whimsicott in GL, but spicy. Galarian Stunfisk. Great in GL and UL. Requires tons of XL candy for UL, keep those you catch to trade away for guaranteed trade XLs. Heatmor: Regional normally unavailable in most regions. Catch this! TICKET: Maractus. Regional normally unavailable in most regions. Catch this! ---SHINING DAY (11-12 AM, 3-4 PM)--- Charmander: Great in GL & UL, useful Fire mega for raids. Dratini: a classic that’s great as Dragonair in GL and phenomenal as Dragonite in ML. Very solid Dragon, also very old. Still nice. Dunsparce: Good in GL. Hisuian Sneasel: Not a lot of Hisuian Pokémon out yet, so this one is nice. Its Shadow form is great in UL and ML, but you can’t catch shadows in the wild. Jangmo-o has a shiny debut, and Hakamo-o/Kommo-o are quite good in GL! Definitely catch this Dragon. TICKET: Corsola: Regional normally unavailable in most regions. Catch this! ---CREEPING DUSK (12-1 PM, 4-5 PM)--- Moon Crown Pikachu! Go Fest exclusive costume, definitely catch! Collection. Cannot evolve. Eevee. Not special, but there are never enough Eevee XL candies. UL Umbreon, ML Sylveon, your old 2016 Vaporeon are all hungry for XLs! Gible: Garchomp is a really strong Ground/Dragon type attacker, especially in its mega form. Having candy to throw around for Garchomp is good. Garchomp is outclassed by beasts like Primal Groudon and Mega Rayquaza for Ground/Dragon raid attacking, respectively, but it’s still good to catch. It also has its legacy move available for this event, so catch Gible to evolve garchomps for Earth Power! Litwick: Shadow Chandelure is good as a Fire-type raid attacker. Litwick is spice in Little Cup. That’s it. Phantump. Trevenant is back and terrorizing in GL and UL like it was two years ago. Pick up some nice ones, and maybe the relatively new shiny. TICKET: Rockruff: Evolves into Lycanroc’s three different forms, good for collection. ---DARKEST NIGHT (1-2 PM, 5-6 PM)--- CARBINK. CATCH ON SIGHT. GET GOOD IVS FOR GREAT LEAGUE!!!!! Trade away unwanted for guaranteed XL candy. Gligar: Phenomenal in GL. Catch on sight! Sneasel: XL Candy for Shadow Hisuian Sneasler in ML. Teddiursa: XL Candy for ML Premier Ursaluna. Mudkip: Swampert is a staple in GL and UL, and a very useful raid attacker & flexible catch XL candy booster for both Water and Ground. I still use mine for the latter. Get good IVs for GL, UL, and raids! It also has its legacy move available for this event, so catch Mudkip for candy to evolve Swamperts for Hydro Cannon! Carvanha: Unreleased mega Sharpedo XL candy. Mega Sharpedo isn’t set to be very good, but it’s a rare spawn, so might as well catch some when you see it. Deino: Zweilous is a somewhat less popular but potent meta Dark/Dragon type in GL. It also has higher attack than regular Tyranitar, so evolving a high CP one can give you a budget Dark type attacker. Brutal Swing needs an Elite TM, though. Get a GL Zweilous and a high CP Hydreigon/a high IV one if you prefer. Had a comm day some years ago that most of us have it for, but it’s worth reiterating. Amaura: Aurorus is a decent pick in UL and a spice pick in ML/MLP. It does cover Gyarados, Garchomp, Togekiss, Primarina, and Dragonite, so it definitely is worth catching for XL candy. A favorite shiny. TICKET: Vullaby: Phenomenal in GL, and a lesser-known tank in UL that outbulks Giratina. Catch for IVs & XL candies! -------MEGAS TO USE FOR XL CANDY------- Using a max mega level Pokémon (Level 3) maximizes the chance of getting 1 or more XL candy from a catch with shared typing. I should start by saying that the best mega is the one that *you* have, has the highest mega level (ideally 3, 2 works as well) *and* matches one of the listed types. Normally, I would give mega advice to optimize for XL candy from wild catches, but you should really, really be focusing on using a mega for raids. I will first discuss raid megas, but for those who don’t have raid passes, I will then offer advice on megas for wild spawns. This post is for everyone! For raids, it is vital to have a mega that boosts Psychic type XL candy for Necrozma catches. It is absolutely critical to pick up as much Necrozma XL candy as you can. If you have the choice, always pick Rayquaza, because it provides a background 10% damage boost for your teammates in raids even when it’s not actively on the field/has fainted. It provides a 30% boost for Psychic, Flying, and Dragon damage (and I imagine most people seriously raiding will be using Mega Rayquaza, as they will also be trying to get Necrozma, so you will likely receive their bonus and give it in turn). You’ll also be receiving XL candy for Unown. Really, you should use Mega Rayquaza this event. But if you lack that, use any of the following Psychic-boosting megas: Alakazam, Slowbro, Gardevoir, Medicham, Latias, Latios, and Rayquaza. A full list of all megas, which you can filter by type, is available here. If you do not wish to target raids for any of numerous good reasons, as most who do not pay money to play will be doing (and how I, a long time ago, used to play), the best megas will be oriented towards wild spawns. And that is ONLY if you are not raiding. Please, please go after Necrozma if you can, this is fallback advice. Every type in this game is covered in the wild spawns. If I went over all of them, I would go crazy. I would start by suggesting the Weather Trio, as each covers 3 types when its primal/mega is active. This can give you maximum inter-type coverage. If you like multiple specific Pokémon on the list I provided above, I encourage you to check their typing and then compare it to your available megas. I will once again plug this amazing website which keeps a list of Pokémon Go megas you can filter by typing to help see what megas you can use for extra candy when catching your preferred Pokémon. This game is all about personal preference, and there are simply too many combinations to possibly cover for wild Go Fest spawns. ———-EVENT MOVES BY EVOLUTION———- Seven Pokémon are currently known to receive their legacy moves by evolution. Frustration must be removed for this to be applicable to shadow Pokémon; adding a 2nd charge move will not affect this. These Pokémon are, per Leekduck: Charizard - Blast Burn Dragonite - Draco Meteor Garchomp - Earth Power Serperior - Frenzy Plant Swampert - Hydro Cannon Hydreigon - Brutal Swing Haxorus - Breaking Swipe TL; DR: Dusk Mane Necrozma/Dawn Wings Necrozma are the new best Steel/Ghost types in the game, and are on par with the Weather Trio in terms of power. They are Fusions, which means that a Necrozma and Solgaleo/Lunala fuse to form a new Pokémon. This costs 1,000 Solar or Lunar Fusion Energy, respectively. Claim 2 Solar & 2 Lunar Fusion energy codes, linked here, for 200 energy towards each. Make sure to save at least 16 raid passes, as they give 100 respective energy per raid, for Sunday, July 14th, when the Fusion energy will be available by defeating Dusk Mane Necrozma/Dawn Wings Necrozma in 5-star raids. Those short on raid passes should consider buying some, as much as I dislike Niantic’s paywalling. Acquire 1,000 energy at minimum for both DM/DW Necrozma, respectively, by winning 8 raids of each + the 200 energy you have for each from the codes. There is a near-guaranteed chance some of the raids will get bugged out, so have 1-2 extra raid passes ready. Catch both Sun Crown and Moon Crown Go Fest exclusive Pikachu. Catch both Sun Scarf Espeon and Moon Scarf Go Fest exclusive Umbreon. Catch any of the many rare Pokémon you want, especially regionals. Evolve the seven listed Pokémon before 8 pm on Sunday for their legacy moves. TICKET: Catch all the Unowns, letters D, A, Y, N, I, G, H, T. END TL;DR I sincerely mean this: your continued support for my guides keeps them coming! My most recent post (Spelunker’s Cove) got 160+ shares and 150k+ views, which blows my mind!!! I’m *so happy* I can help *so many people* with concise (well, less concise this time, but hopefully thorough, and I had a TL;DR!), researched info. Please let me know if this helped you! That's all, folks! I hope you find this info helpful! Very good event next few days, I will be out grinding Necrozma XL candy and the Unowns every day. I already have the Ultra Beasts, so I really am hyperfocusing on Necrozma XL candy and fusion energy. I can't wait to run a Dusk Mane/Dawn Wings Necrozma! Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments--Professor Hoot out! 🦉 submitted by /u/Ruby_Throated_Hummer to r/TheSilphRoad [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is posting in r/TrueOffMyChest 2 Updates - Long Original - June 30, 2024 Update - July 4th, 2024 Update 2 - July 7th, 2024 (2h ago) Status: ongoing Trigger Warnings: infidelity, emotional manipulation, (parent being competitive with their child?), potentially gooming. Mood Spoiler: sad, infiuriating, gross, but there's a little hope for OOP My little brother (3M) is actually my fiance's (25M) kid Yes the title is f*cked up, I'm aware. My fiance (25M) and myself (24F) have been together since we were 17/18 years old. Honestly he was always kind, handsome, funny and everyone used to say I was so lucky to have the whole package. I felt so lucky too. He always treated me with love and respect, so this makes everything just so shocking for me. I have always had a good relationship with my mom, it has always been her and I against the world. My dad died in an accident when I was little. We always joked we are the real life Rory and Loreilai from Gilmore girls. My mom dated guys on and off and they were usually cool but nothing really passed the early stages. Around 4 years ago my mom told me she was pregnant which was a HUGE surprise. My mom was around 42 years old and although she was sort of dating someone recently (didn't meet the guy but knew she went on dates) it still was a big shock. She never thought she could be pregnant at her age (she had me when she was super young - an opsie) and I can tell she was stressed and worried. I decided to support her, since she has always supported me and tried to reassure her. She then had my brother who is now (3 years old). I have a close relationship with my brother, I have helped taken care of him since he was born and I just love the little guy. My fiance was also always helpful with my brother, we would take him out for ice cream, playground, pool time during summer, etc. But nothing was "weird", he was just my then bf spending time with my brother and I. Now to the how I found out. My fiance and I live together since we finished College. My finace was not at home since he was hanging out with friends but I was home bc I didn't feel like going out and just wanted to chill on my sofa. At some point during bing watching a series on Netflix, my laptop died and I was too lazy to go get my charger, so I just took my fiance's ipad. I know the password but honestly never used it before. The ipad logged in and I got a bunch of messages pinging (I guess he hasn't used it in a while too?). Anyways, this got my attention and I went to check it out and ofc I found everything. My mom's number wasn't under her name but I recognized the number and verified it with my phone. She was telling him she felt guilty and that I should know. He said he also felt guilty but couldn't lose me and they f*cked it up. She said that it was unfair for my brother to never not know his dad, and that if he could live having his son around not behaving like a dad but a brother in law. I BROKE DOWN. WHAT THE ACTUAL F??? There werent a lot of older messages, just some photos stored of my brother as a newborn, my mom pregnant, and more photos of my brother growing up in an album. I couldn't anymore. I cried for what it seem ages and I wait for my bf to come back home. I wish I was one of those women that can pretend and get things together before confronting the cheater but I can't. He came back later that night (around 23:30) and I just gave him the ipad with the conversation opened and saw his face completely go pale. I asked for an explanation, when? how? why? and he didnt want to at first, but knew he had to. Apparently a few years back while I was traveling with some friends (girls trip) my fiance and mom had dinner together (this isnt strange since he has been part of the family for so long, sometimes mom and fiance would eat together at our place even if I was busy with sports or out - I did the same with his parents). Somehow (unclear how since he couldn't explain it well) one thing let to another and they ended up sleeping together. They felt guilty but apparently not guilty enough bc they slept together 2 -3 more times, using the excuse of meeting up to discuss how to tell me. Apparently when my mom got pregnant they stopped sleeping together and decided to not tell me, since my fiance "loved me and couldnt lose me" and my mom didnt wanna lose her daughter. so here we are now, with two of the most degusting humans. I obviously broke the engagement, told my mom to never talk to me again and move in with a friend. I feel bad for my brother since I really love him, but I can't be around him now, I just can't. I feel like it would remind me of all those times we talked about having kids, I would be his baby mama, ONLY baby mama, we talked about this future since we were 17 years old, so I wanna puke everytime I think how I was actually talking care of HIS child with someone else, while still having those dreams. I wanna puke. [RELEVANT COMMENTS] Flynn_JM When did this all happen? When were the texts from? If recent, it seems like they were probably still having a relationship and your mom wanted him to leave you to go play house with her. OOP: The messages I found were on different dates raging between 2 months-2 weeks before I found them in the ipad. I'm sure he deleted older ones. I feel like i dont have yet the whole picture, but I dont think i can hear more about it atm. I havent had a talk with my mom, I just sent her a text saying i knew and to not talk to me again or see me. She has tried texting and calling but I blocked her and now, no idea. Same with my fiance. I'm afraid they will try to confront me in person somewhere around the city/work, etc. I dont think i can handle that yet AvailableCriticism8 Young bro’s birthday, go back 9 months before to gauge when he was conceived and find out what age was your ex then. Younger than 18? Police is waiting for the call. Lawyer is waiting for a case. Good luck and im sorry OOP: He was 20 ish, so no police and I don't think she groomed him. abcixtwt Your mother is truly the worst. She lied and kept lying to you all those years. I’d never be able to forgive her. How can someone do that to their own child? OOP: Its weird to come to terms with the mom I knew, she was always loving and supportive and just a great mom...and now this person, who is just a disgusting human. I don't know, my thought are everywhere Flynn_JM Do you work a 9-5? Or shift work? Maybe ask if you can wfh or change shifts. Who do you feel more betrayed by? Or who would you more likely reconcile with? OOP: I work 9-6pm in an office, I cant do remote work. If they want to find me, it's easy for them to do so. I have let know my closest co-workers if they see my mom or fiance around to let me know ASAP, so I can avoid them. But beyond that I'm not sure I have much control. My city isn't huge either, so I'm always on the look out now hoping to not run into them Flynn_JM How is the security of the building? Maybe you could talk to your manager and start a modified schedule? Come in 2 hours early or something like that? Maybe change up your usual behaviors? Change gyms, salons, dr. Etc. OOP: Its a simple office with no security and street entrance. So, nothing fancy. I feel now terrified to leave my friend's house in case I run into them. I just go to the supermarket (try to go to one further away) and work. I'm looking into moving cities, but it isnt easy. But I dont see myself living like this forever. Flynn_JM When did the confrontation go down? Have you considered putting them on blast? If they are shunned, they are probably less likely to come find you. Right now, it's all about damage control but if you blow up their reputations, there is nothing to fix. OOP: It was last Friday. My friend keeps telling I should blast them and tell everyone, but I guess I'm ashamed and still trying to process. I'm afraid it will be more overwhelming with everyone asking questions and talking about it. But I feel like maybe is also a mistake to wait too long to tell others. I dont know, I'm just really overwhelmed. I just feel like crying every hour and not face anything. MaryEFriendly What the actual fuck. How anyone could do this to their own child is just beyond me. You have to wonder if she had been grooming him from a young age. I'm so sorry this happened to you. What did your whore of a mother have to say for herself?? OOP: I don't know. I didn't read her messages and then I blocked her. Just thinking about hearing her out gives me a panic feeling. I know I might have to eventually but right now I can't Ha1rBall I asked this in another thread earlier today, but what is with everyone rawdogging when they cheat? It boggles my mind. OOP: I imagined she thought she was too old to get pregnant and the chances were low to none. I cant confirm but this is what I assume. She told me before "honey, it would take a miracle for me to get another kid" & my fiance was always hating on condoms, I was always on the pill wrenwynn So your mom at 42yo slept with your then 22yo boyfriend multiple times, got pregnant by him, kept the baby & never told you who the father was even after you got engaged? Yikes on all the bikes. I'm so sorry honey, that's an incredible betrayal on every front. OOP: I asked her who the dad was when she broke the news to me, but she said it was a guy she was casually dating and he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I should have questioned more back in that time, but I just never thought the reality would be this... not in a million years. Substantial-Spare501 This is so fucked up. Your mom should have had an abortion. I don’t see any way around this for you other than breaking up and creating your own new life. You can do this; you deserve better. OOP: The fucked up part is that she actually consider aborting the baby, but I reassure her that if she wanted to keep it I would be there to support, and she wouldnt be alone. She was apparently reassured by this and decided to keep it. I wanna hit myself and go back in time... maybe if I should have been less supportive... but then I cant imagine my little brother not alive, but at the same time... I wish he wasn't. Im a mess. AlternativePrior9559 I’m so so sorry OP for this devastating double betrayal. I’m not surprised you feel sick to your stomach as the two people you loved most in the world have stabbed you in the back and lied about it. You had/have no choice but to cut contact and keep it cut, as neither of them have your best interests at heart and there are zero excuses for what they did. Zero. Shame on both of them. How have they both reacted? I assume a barrage of apologies and begging followed your discovery? Are you able to get some individual counselling? This is too much emotional grief to carry alone. Sending you strength and courage OOP: Mom texted me a few times and called me when she saw my text saying i knew. I didnt see her messages so no idea what they said. Fiance was "destroyed" by losing me supposedly and said "nothing has to change" and that we can cut contact with my mom and he wont see her again. I said absolutely no and that i needed to go, packed a bag and left. They havent tried to see me in person yet... part of me wishes they would fight harder to keep me in their lives but part of me cant handle seeing them in person. [UPDATE - ADD SOME PARAGRAPHS TO MAKE EASIER TO READ] First I want to thank everyone for the nice messages and comments. I was not expecting so much support. I'm still a mess not gonna lie, but after reading the comments I felt better, like a therapy mini session, so again thank you all. To the update. As I was afraid I was indeed confronted near my office this week. I knew this was coming but thought maybe I had more time. My ex was the person to come find me. Yesterday (wedn) after finishing work and walking to where my car was parked my ex was sort of lingering waiting around. I thought about running not gonna lie, but I guess in the moment I felt "strong" enough to get over with it, instead of having that hanging above my head waiting to be approached again. He asked if we could talk and I said yes, but I didn't feel like having that conversation over coffee like we were old friends, it felt ridiculous so I told him to just talk right there (we were in the streets but somehow it wasn't crowed, but also not completely lonely - felt right). He basically said sorry 100 times, and that I deserved better ( I agreed). He said he did love me and that he still does but he would understand why I wouldn't want anything to do with him. He said that if I did in fact consider giving him a chance that he would go to therapy, alone or together or both and that he would work hard to win my trust back. I told him it wasn't possible, there was too much damage. This sounds calm when I type it but in the moment things came out more with louder tone and harsher words. Anyways, he did say that he is in the or will be (it was a bit of a blur) process of getting custody (partly) from my brother and that he in fact does wanna be a dad to him. He said he does not want to be together with my mom, that it was just a stupid mistake (SURE... BC 4-5 times mistake is just a random thing). He couldn't explain why he did it in the first place, I think he doesn't even know himself. I asked if he cheated with someone else before, he said no (not sure if to believe it but he sounded honest). I asked why he didn't come clean, and he said that after he did the deed he always felt panicked and it hits him that he could lose me and he just didn't want to. I told him it was meant to be found out, that what was his plan? to have my brother around and ignore their relationship forever? he said he didn't think far enough and that he was basically going with the idea one day at the time type of survival. I asked him if he felt that my mom seduced him? he said it was mutual, which made me wanna puke again. I asked if he has any contact with my mom since I found out. He said yes, but mostly about my brother (didnt elaborate more and I didnt pressed for more info on that). He said he told his parents the day before or the day before that not sure (Mon - Tuesday?) about everything. The parents were not happy but they are glad to start building now a relationship with my brother(their grandkid). Honestly, all of this felt like a punch in my stomach, I dont know why. The parents wanted to contacted me but he told them to wait till he approached me first, hence why he was here. I said if he started or thought about the custody before I found out and he said no, but when I found out was like the push he needed (great seems I helped him get his shit together ----- ugh) and this past week he was arranging all of that mess (thats why he hasn't tried to see me before). He sounded and looked defeated, but the whole thing made me besides sad - ANGRY. I was mainly depressed before but now I'm furious. I feel like he is still in an okay place and he isn't "paying" for his actions, beyond me leaving him. He will have my brother, his parents and others and move on with his life... while I LOST EVERYTHING. I hate him. We parted ways not in a happy note, and I told him to never get near me again, I was done. He asked me to see my brother still, that I was important to him and tried to guilt trip me and it worked, but I still think I can't. I don't know much about my mom and really hope she doesn't come find me any time soon bc I'm fuming right now and wont be able to handle it. I will be contacting my family and friends and finally doing the blasting TODAY!!! I think is about time and after my talk with him, I got the extra push I needed. [RELEVANT COMMENTS] mayerr1 I know your pissed, possibly livid rn, but OP, please do NOT get emotional when you blast them. Social media is a great place to let out just the facts. Someone on your last post said to post “the wedding is off. I’m not speaking with mother or ex-fiancé. He is the father of my mothers son.” & dip. That’s exactly what I would do. Let them clean up their own mess. If people ask, let it all out about how sad and hurt and how you lost everything because of them. Guilt HIM because now you’ve lost your mom. You can’t trust her ever again. You’ve lost him, who was supposed to be your forever. And then, they decided to be real sickos and have you help with the affair baby. I’m so sorry your going through this OP. I hope everyone sees how sick they are. Updateme when you can. I hope your 4th of July is fun! OOP: Thank you! yes you are so right, I'm trying to come down - I have been so angry since yesterday but getting better. I thought writing this update will help me cool down before I do the "blasting". I also want it to be facts driven and not all an emotional blur - I will have my friend read proof my post to friends and fam. Thank you and you too! MithosYggdrasill1992 I don’t like saying this, because I don’t know your mother, OP. However, are you 100% positive that it’s your ex fiancé’s kid? Not you should go back to the asshole because he cheated on you.. But if your mother is willing to cheat with him, she was very likely fucking other men at the same time. And she may be using this is an easy way to have someone take care of her child. OOP: Thats a good point, and honestly I dont know. They both seem sure by the text they exchanged and also my ex filling for custody... but not sure if they did the proper test and whatnot. But actually it didn't cross my mind till now, thanks for bringing it up. start46 I was thinking the same thing as far as how does anyone know for sure he's the dad not that it matters. And also get an std test cause who knows what the mom was doing and obviously no care for her daughters safety either by having unprotected sex with him and putting her daughter at risk OOP: I had a test done last week and all clear, but just the fact to think that he was inside me and inside my mom and potentially the same day/week.... turns my stomach. I feel so disgusted, I try not to think about it without much success. Operx1337 I highly doubt his parents the whole truth, mostlikely he told them things to spin it into his favorable side, I'd say meet his parents and ask them what they heard/know and then see if that matches with what is actually true not. OOP: I wonder too what he told them, but will probably hear about it soon. I suppose his parents will contact me this week. They have always been nice to me and treated me like her own child. My ex is an only child and the mom always wanted a girl (you know how that goes). I know them since I was 15 years old. But I can also see them being on their son side no matter what... I wouldnt be surprised. Beginning-Stop7646 Does anyone else get the feeling that the only reason he guilted OP about her little brother in the hopes she returns to the ex and helps him raise her little bro like a stepson? Or possibly so she can still maintain somewhat a relationship with him or her mom? OOP: I did get that feeling. He was trying to "get me back", or trying to make me see things can be better and he can do better. Once he understood he wasn't getting anywhere, he started to talk about how my little brother will miss me, and how can I just leave him hanging. That I can still be in his life and he (my ex) will make things easier for that, thats one of the reasons he is asking for custody so I didn't have to see my mom. Mendoza2999 If your brother found you when he turns 18 would you except him? OOP: I wanna say yes and hope we can get a relationship sooner than that. But I know need to heal first... so no idea about the timeline. I miss him tho, its a weird feeling Elisa800 Also did you ask him WHY he would have sex with your mom multiple times if it was only a "mistake"? You should have asked that. OOP: I did, and he said he doesn't know... he keep saying "I dont know, wish I did..." or something along those lines [UPDATE 2] Hi everyone! Again I want to say thanks for all the support on my last update, honestly like I said in my previous post, it really helped me a lot emotionally all your comments and also all the advice I got, that being about moving abroad or what to say when I do the blast. THANKS YOU! Update: A lot has happened. I DID THE BLASTING! and this is how it went down. I first posted on my family's FB group we share, this is from my mom's family side. I used inspiration of what you all suggested in my last post and said something around the lines of : " I want to communicate to you all that my wedding with X has been permanently canceled, since I found out that my mom (name) and my ex (name) had in the last few years a sexual relationship which resulted in the birth of my little brother (name). I had no clue of any of this, and I found out about it last week. I won't have moving forward a relationship with (name - mom) and ex (name) for obvious reasons. I would appreciate your understanding and I felt it was only fair to let you know of the situation. Since I value transparency and honestly above all." I also included a screenshot of my mother message (what I said to her once I found out and a message she managed to write back before I blocked her (didnt open the message till before the blasting - I didnt want to hear(read) her and be persuaded). It exploded. I had family reaching out via text and calling the whole day after the blasting. I would say most were very supportive and I could tell they were just shocked. There were a few neutral and some suspicious that "it wasn't the whole story and maybe I misunderstood". My grandparents were in the "maybe you misunderstood" category, which it wasn't surprising since my mom is super close to my grandparents and like I said before, my mom was always a good mom. So no red flags. I will be moving with a cousin that is more like a sister to me. I haven't reached out to her previously bc I knew once she knows everyone would, thats why I went to my friend's place. My cousin is devastated on my behalf and offered I live with her and her 2 kids until I can get my feet on the ground. I accepted and will be moving next week. I'm a bit afraid this will give my mom an easier access to me, but I cant stay at my friend's place forever. I then proceeded quickly to post a similar message for my (we share most of our friends since high school and local university) friends on instagram. I created a "close friends" story and tagged most of them too. This went sort of "viral" in our friend group. Actually one of my friends sent me my reddit post and asked if this was me, I confirmed. They were also shocked and speechless. They never thought my ex would even remotely do anything like this. They said "he was crazy about you". Oh well... apparently he went overboard on the crazy part. The group of friends is divided atm, some are completely "on my side" and some are thinking it isn't the whole truth. I told everyone that reached out that if they don't believe me to ask their friend if he is asking for custody of my little brother... that kinda shut them up for now. My ex deleted his social media apparently. Also my ex's parents called me like I guessed they would. They were kind to me and were very sorry about everything. I got the feeling they are also overwhelmed and very disappointed. However, it was clear they will be supporting their son. They are very upset at my mother, and don't want anything to do with her, but not sure how that will work with my little brother and everything else. They tried to give me "info" about the custody and what is my ex up to now, but I shut that down quickly and told them I dont want any info, I want to move on. I also asked them to not reach out in the near future, that I needed distance, specially if they will be supporting my ex (he is living with his parents atm). Also my ex and my mother after the blast were going nuts trying to reach out to me. They tried calling my friend (who she blocked them) and reaching out from different numbers. I had to put my phone on silence and ignore everyone. However my mother sent me a long text (from another number), and that was a weird text. She said that I was being cruel and that she didn't think she raised me that way. She said she thought we had a better relationship than me blasting out "laundry" like that without talking to her first. That I didn't have the whole picture. She did mentioned something that confused me. She said in her long ass text, that the reason she slept with my ex, is because he reminded him of my dad. That it was grief. That she didn't mean to "use" him to heal her pain, but she wasn't strong enough. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??? Like did she think that my ex looks physically like my dad? or personality? or what?? I have seen photos of my dad, and well, yea my ex isn't super different but also not super alike. I mean they share brown/dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin... but thats not so uncommon, I don't see what else? I don't know. That threw me for a loop and honestly makes me wanna confront my mom just to know what the hell? from all the thing she could say I was NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm holding on better, I dont cry every hour or wanna murder them. But, I'm still sad and upset and it just feels like it isnt my life, that is a big joke or a bad dream and I will wake up to my "normal" life. I also need to really start planning my future and start applying for jobs in other cities, or maybe check the possibilities abroad more seriously. I might as for 2-3 days off work to really get my thought together and do some research. I'm terrified tbh. I feel frozen, but I know I need to start moving. submitted by /u/YellowKingSte to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

Not a super exciting post, but a nice little “slice of life” about battling a HOA from r/fuckHOA OOP is u/singluon First post: 13 Jan 2023 Bought my house in 2021 and it came with a dark red shingle roof. Apparently HOA says the only the approved color is Weathered Wood. Roof was done in 2018, three years before I bought the house. Just got a letter saying to change the shingles… Options? The CC&Rs don’t say anything about a specific color. Only that the roof must have been approved by the ARC. I have no idea if it was or not since that was before I lived here, but I assume it was because the work was permitted and completed successfully, and there were no problems or otherwise liens in the HOA estoppel letter when we closed - the sale would have been halted if there were any outstanding violations. Actual lines from CC&Rs that they are trying to use against me: No building, house, garage, fence, swimming pool, deck, patio, sign, outdoor lighting, walls, exterior antennas, satellite dishes, recreational structures… or other structure of any nature located outside the perimeter walls of the main dwelling structure, shall be commenced, constructed, erected, or maintained upon the Property, nor shall any exterior addition to, change or alteration therin, be made… commenced until the planes and specifications showing the nature, kind, shape, height, materials, color, approximate cost and location of the same shall have been submitted and approved in writing by the Board or the ARC as set forth in Article X… Any input is appreciated. Thanks. Edit: additional details • I live in Florida • The roof was completed in 2018. I closed on the house in 2021. • The roof is architectural asphalt shingle. Currently it’s a tan-red color. The ARC says it should be gray-tan color • My estoppel letter signed by the HOA management company when I closed clearly says “no violations”, but also has some bullshit language immediately below that which says “it is also possible that the parcel has other violations which have not yet been identified”, which seems like an attempt to weasel out of stuff like this to me. I am not sure of the legality of that language, but screw the lawyer who wrote that. • To be clear, the CC&Rs do not prescribe a roof color, only that the work must have been approved by the ARC before being started. Since the roof went unnoticed for three years before I purchased the house, and was permitted, inspected, and successfully completed, and the estoppel said “no violations”, I had assumed it was approved. I had no way to know the required roof color at the time of closing. However I currently have no way to prove whether the work was approved or not. I will attempt to get the ARC records and contact the previous owner. Edit 2: • Got a copy of the re-roof ARC approval from 2018. The work was approved per the CC&Rs, and the previous owner explicitly mentioned “weathered wood”. However the actual shingle color on my house looks slightly different than other houses. No idea why - perhaps they used a different brand than other houses or the roofers installed a different color or something. I probably have no way to find out. • Also have a copy of all permit documentation which shows the correct asphalt shingles being installed, but no mention of color. • Going to ask the management company why my property is not in compliance - the letter they sent is vague. Will ultimately ask if due to color, where is the color documented and voted on by the BoD. Suspect they won’t have that. • Send an email to an attorney to see about next steps. Edit 3: From the management company: Unfortunately, it looks like the previous owners installed the wrong color roof shingles. The only color approved for the community is weathered wood. That was the color that was approved on their application, but not what was installed. I will have to reach out to the board for further instruction. I will circle back asap. Really hoping they don’t continue to try to press the issue, but any further correspondence with them will be from an attorney (who I’m still looking for…). Update 1: regarding changing shingles based on “unapproved roof color” Posted 21 Jan 2023 I spoke to an attorney and they basically confirmed what all of what I suspected, and more. I’m sure I’m forgetting some things, but here’s what I found out in this post. TLDR: the HOA has no legal standing, and the attorney even figured should the HOA attempt a lawsuit, they may possibly be sanctioned by the court, and would be on the hook for all the legal fees. If the HOA contacts me again, I will send them a short paragraph explaining why I will vigorously defend myself in court. The attorney suspects that the HOA’s attorney, if they were even somewhat competent, would tell them any further action would be legally reckless, and they should drop it… but we’ll see. To start, forget the facts that the previous owners installed the roof nearly five years ago (the statute of limitations for breach of contract is five years in FL by the way), after ARC approval (but somehow installed a slightly different color that was approved - ARC approved brown-gray, installed was brown-red). Even if I installed the roof, they still basically have no legal grounds due to the following: Our DCC&Rs regarding ARC authority are inconsistent with Florida statutes. Specifically, our DCC&Rs say: Any change in the outward appearance of any improvement including but not limited to repainting in a different color, adding decorative sculptures, wrought iron grills, or the like shall also require written approval by the Board or ARC before any work is commenced. Disapproval of plans, specifications or location may be based upon any grounds, including purely aesthetic considerations, which the Board or ARC in its sole discretion deems sufficient. However there is settled case law proves otherwise 1 2. Apparently the court had this to say: In the absence of an existing pattern or scheme of type of architecture which puts a prospective purchaser on notice that only one kind of style is allowed, either in the recorded restrictions or de facto from the unified building scheme built on the subdivision, such a board does not have the power or discretion to impose only one style over another based purely on “aesthetic concepts”. …“aesthetic concepts” sounds familiar? Look at the DCC&Rs snippet above… To top it off, the Florida statutes were amended in 2007 to disallow this sort of subjective approval (720.3035(1)): (1) The authority of an association or any architectural, construction improvement, or other such similar committee of an association to review and approve plans and specifications for the location, size, type, or appearance of any structure or other improvement on a parcel, or to enforce standards for the external appearance of any structure or improvement located on a parcel, shall be permitted only to the extent that the authority is specifically stated or reasonably inferred as to such location, size, type, or appearance in the declaration of covenants or other published guidelines and standards authorized by the declaration of covenants. There are no “published”, objective guidelines anywhere that specify a single allowed roof color, and thus the ARC is acting out of the bounds of their authority. FWIW - published means in some place readily accessible to association members, like on the association website, etc. Meeting minutes do not count, even if this does appear in some minutes over the last seven years. Additionally, even if they DID have a single color specified in some official guideline, the attorney told me that may not even stand up in court as well, since that would be an overly rigorous aesthetic concept and may severely limit the power of homeowners in choosing their roofers based on material availability, etc. He figured the best they could probably do was specify a palette or other set of approved color guidelines. I’ve actually come to realize that the ARC is constantly disapproving things by purely subjective criteria. The only official “published” guidelines we have are regarding mailboxes, home paint colors, and fencing. Things like roof color, roof style, landscaping, exterior additions, etc., have no specific guidelines but are constantly approved/disapproved. There is probably a lawsuit here should somebody want to bring it - it may be something I consider in the future as a class-action suit if I can get enough neighbors involved. Now back to the reality that I didn’t even install the roof, and it was done by the previous owners: 2 . The estoppel letter I received when I closed on the house over a year ago says “no violations”. Even though the letter has some language about “there may be violations we don’t know about”, that has no grounds because a ROOF is easily ascertainable, that is, it isn’t exactly hidden and could have been noticed in the three years+ before I bought the house. According to the attorney, this would not stand up to legal scrutiny. If the HOA wants to dig in their heels, the only thing they can do is fine me $100 each day, up to $1000 max total, according the FL statutes… because our DCC&Rs say to refer to the statutes for guidelines on fining. No community rights could be suspended until 90 days after failure to pay the fine. FL statutes mandate that any fine must be allowed to be disputed in front of a third party committee composed of neighbors who are not associated with the board in any matter (relative, employee, etc.), and must be approved only by majority vote — which I would absolutely take advantage of. And really, even if I had to pay the fine in some bizarro universe devoid of all logic, it would be substantially cheaper than replacing a roof. Before suing, FL statutes also require that they would need to send a request for mediation, which would need to give me ample time to respond and pick a mediator, and go through that process. And if that still went to court, our DCC&Rs also try to say that homeowners would be responsible for legal fees in any case regardless of outcome. FL statutes say the exact opposite - should the HOA lose a case, they are on the hook for the prevailing party’s legal fees and other costs. Honestly there’s a bunch more that I’m sure I’m forgetting or just don’t have the energy to provide the details because of how ridiculous they are - the fact that my roof is simply a different shade of brown than the “approved color”, the fact that the roof was replaced due to hurricane damage and there was a shortage of roofing supplies which may have led to the wrong shingle color being installed, the fact that the work was actually APPROVED by the ARC even though a different color ended up being installed, the fact that it is almost five years since it was installed, the fact that the management company may get paid based on how many violations they report, possible selective enforcement… the list goes on. The attorney I spoke to was confident that if I just responded strongly and clearly to the HOA that they have no legal standing, and any further harassment would be “vigorously defended”, should be enough to get them to back off. He speculated that the HOA’s attorney would hopefully tell them not to pursue any legal action (if the attorney was even somewhat competent), and that it would be reckless if they did (possibly leading to legal sanctions). He also said that HOAs commonly try to bully and intimidate homeowners despite having no legal standing, in hopes that nobody asks questions and just does what they say. In any case, I’ll provide further updates when this get fully resolved. Thank you to everybody from the previous thread for all your advice and input - I really appreciate it and it helped a lot. Update 2: regarding changing shingles based on “unapproved roof color” Posted 1st March 2023 If you don’t want to read those posts, the background is I received a violation letter that my roof singles are an unapproved color - they’re reddish-brown, and the only approved color is grayish-brown (officially called “Weathered Wood”). The kicker is the roof is basically new, and was installed almost five years ago, three-plus years before I even bought the house. TLDR: management company now says our case is closed. However, because the management company also mentioned that they are perusing the same “violation” against other homes in the community, I will be taking action within the community to try and help those residents, since I (and the attorney who I spoke to) firmly believe such an alleged violation is illegal. Any further advice is appreciated. Even prior to speaking to an attorney, I emailed the the management company saying that the roof was installed by previous owners over four years ago and the violation seemed absurd, and replacing an essentially new roof would not only be extremely wasteful and nonsensical, but it would also be an unnecessary financial hardship on our family. The manager responded back that she would reach out to the board and follow back up. That was the last correspondence I received, back on Jan 13 2023. Fast forward to this morning, and I wake up to a “second notice” of the same violation in my mailbox. Per the advice of the attorney, I immediately sent the following email to the management company (some parts redacted for privacy): [Management company], My wife and I just received a second notice about the roof shingles, and despite our last written correspondence (which we promptly sent immediately after receiving the first notice), you mentioned that you would “follow back up”, yet you never did. In any event, please consider this our formal response in writing. My wife and I sought legal counsel since our last communication, and per the advice of our attorney, we firmly believe that the alleged violation is not legal for the following reasons: We received an estoppel letter when we purchased the home, which is signed and certified by [management company], that explicitly states that there were no outstanding violations on the property at the time of sale. Considering the roof was replaced three years prior to us purchasing the property, and a roof is easily ascertainable by even a simple glance from the street, the HOA had years of opportunities to pursue action against the previous owners for such a supposed violation, yet did not. The [community] DCC&Rs are inconsistent with Florida law, both settled case law and the Florida statutes themselves. Specifically, our DCC&Rs state that the ARC has authority to allow/disallow work based on arbitrary criteria “including purely aesthetic considerations, which the Board or ARC in its sole discretion deems sufficient”. Settled case law says otherwise - in the case Young v. Tortoise Island Homeowner’s Ass’n, Inc., 511 So.2d 381 (Fla. 5th DCA 1987), the court ruled specifically that “a board does not have the power or discretion to impose only one style over another based purely on ‘aesthetic concepts.’” Additionally, Florida statutes Title XL Chapter 720.3035 (1) state that the ARC authority “shall be permitted only to the extent that the authority is specifically stated or reasonably inferred as to such location, size, type, or appearance in the declaration of covenants or other published guidelines and standards authorized by the declaration of covenants.” In other words, the ARC can only approve or deny requested modifications based on objective standards with specificity as to location, size, type, or appearance that are set out in the declaration or other published guidelines and standards. There is no such “published guideline” (which has been officially adopted by the board) anywhere, neither in the DCC&Rs nor otherwise public location (which is readily available to association members), that states that “Weathered Wood” is the only allowed roof color in [community]. Please understand that any further attempts to pursue action against us regarding this issue will be defended vigorously. Sincerely, [My wife and I] The management company responded back almost immediately saying to please disregard the letter, and that our case was closed. They mentioned they did an inspection the other day and noticed a few other homes with the same “violation”, and must have advanced ours by mistake, and it will be closed out immediately. So while this is a win for my family, I am disheartened to hear that other neighbors are receiving similar notices. My plan is to package the information I learned from the attorney into an easily digestible letter, and deliver it neighbors which I notice have different roof colors, and may be the victim of a letter from the HOA, as well as offer my assistance if necessary. Hopefully the information I learned will be useful to them. Additionally, I plan to attend the next board meeting and bring up the issue, and mention that the ARC is probably operating illegally regarding this issue. Finally, I will probably post it on a public community forum like Nextdoor.com. There very well could be grounds for a class-action lawsuit here if other neighbors wanted to group together. If anybody has any further advice on to how I can help my neighbors stop being bullied by the HOA and management company regarding this issue, I would appreciate it. Thanks! Some good comments: Commenter: “When you buy a house, you buy its problems, including its violations unless the HOA told you there were no violations when you bought…” OOP: If you read my previous posts, you’d see the major problem with that logic. They can’t just sign an estoppel letter saying “no violations”, which is required for a clean title and is a legally binding document FWIW, and then say “well we actually never checked - now it’s your problem”. According the the attorney I spoke to, that language is there to cover things like intentionally hidden violations that could not be reasonably ascertained by the HOA at sale time. So not only is a roof is easily ascertained, but in my case it went unnoticed for four years after it was installed. The whole point of an HOA estoppel letter is to ensure that the seller is responsible for any outstanding HOA fees and violations and that they are not transferred to the deed at closing. ———— Commenter: “So, these turd burglars have nothing better to do than to spot roof colors? What does a gig like this pay? I’m sure they have addressed all the important needs of the community before hunting for fines to impose. Q. If you knew before that the HOA would be this petty, would you still have bought your home?” OOP: The worst part is, the max amount of money they can collect is $100 per fine, up to $1000 total if it remains unpaid after two weeks. No more than that - our DCC&Rs and state law prevents it. So it’s not even a sizeable source of income - it’s just bullying. Regarding your question, honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to say probably not. But the reality is that it is basically impossible to find a decent neighborhood in Florida that is not an HOA. If you want a newer house, it’s especially difficult. And I do love my house, and the neighborhood is pretty nice minus the HOA. The good news is that you find that the board doesn’t really have teeth when you push back. ————— Commenter: “Goddamn I hate nosy neighbors. Fuck people like that. Who gives a shit what color shingles are? Could be pink for all I care.” OOP: I think it’s just the management company doing this without explicit direction from the board. They may get an incentive for every violation they issue - not sure. Other commenter: “Ours gets $10 for every letter they send - so a small incentive that can add up when they send multiple letters” ——————————- BORU OP: Anyway, not as exciting as some, but honestly, this one strikes me as a bit more insidious than the normal HOA bullying. Normally its often just a two or three individuals with some sort of irrational grudge, and while infuriating, it remains within the bounds of comprehensible human behavior. This situation has a distinct Kafkaesque quality, as though it were the result of some nightmarish capitalist bureaucracy, its machinery grinding away unrelentingly. the whole situation triggered by a worker drone in some remote, faceless company, churning out violation after violation in order to achieve some abstract metric of "successful" violations, necessary to keep feeding the beast lest it be deprived of its basic needs of healthcare, food, or housing. A weird glimpse of a system that operates according to rules that are at times both inscrutable and inhumane. Shits whack yo. submitted by /u/Thedarb to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I was six years old when my mum and I moved in with nana. Mum and dad were always arguing, and sometimes there was hitting. So she took me and left. Nana loved us, but she also loved solitude. I could always tell when I'd asked too many questions or was playing too loudly. So I'd take myself outside, weather permitting, and leave her in peace. That's how I met Solomon. It was many years ago, but this is how six year old me remembers the experience. Mum was at work. Nana had her feet up, smoking a cigarette as she watched morning television. I was playing on the floor with toy cars. I'd received a road mat the previous Christmas and, despite it now being summer, I still wasn't bored of it. I pushed the cars around the printed city making sound effects. "Ben," said nana, not angry but stern. I looked up, her matter-of-fact expression telling me everything. "Sorry nana," I said. She smiled and it warmed her. "It's alright, sweetheart. But nanny's trying to watch telly." I nodded. "I think I'll go play outside." "Alright, come here," she said in a cloud of smoke, planting a big wet kiss on my cheek. "Don't go near the pond, remember?" "I won't nana," I said as I wiped my face. One thing about living there was I had no friends. There were no kids anywhere near our house. I had started primary school but the few kids I played with there lived too far away. So I had to entertain myself. It was a great garden. Lots of space to run around, roll around, climb trees. There was even a blackberry bush. Nana said I was allowed to eat a few a day, but I had to wash them first because of bugs and bird poo. You also had to be very careful when picking them because they grew on thorny stalks. At the very bottom of the garden was a pond. It wasn't too big, maybe two metres wide at most. There used to be fish in it but when they died, nana didn't get new ones. Grandad used to like the fish, nana wasn't too fussed. It had become a bit wild, taken over by algae and water beetles. I had a football that I'd kick around sometimes. After I'd picked and eaten a few blackberries, having washed them under the outside tap, I looked around for it. It was floating on the surface of the pond. "Oh no!" I said to myself, like it was the end of the world. I looked back at the house and pictured nana engrossed in her programmes. I decided that she would never know. It was too far to reach by hand with my little arms, but a long stick would help. There were plenty of those to be found. So I grabbed one and stood about a foot away from the edge of the pond. It had a kind of swampy, humid smell to it. There were sections where the algae separated and there was an abundance of life to be seen. Lots of tiny creatures swimming, wriggling, squirming. Very few kids have the ability to think logically. Or that's my excuse anyway. In hindsight, I should have just laid on my front to take away any danger of falling in. I think in my head, I didn't like the idea of my face being too close to the water. It looked kinda gross. So foolishly, I tried to reach it by bending over and stretching my arms. And that's when I toppled over. Up to that point I'd never been to a pool. I'd never even been to a beach and paddled in the sea. The biggest expanse of water I'd ever been in was the bathtub. I couldn't swim. The most frustrating thing about that was how close the edge looked as my head tried to stay above the surface. My legs kicked out, my arms flailed. It's crazy how quickly your energy drains. I tried to scream for nana but I kept swallowing mouthfuls of stagnant, lukewarm water. I panicked, my head dropping below the surface. I'd emerge briefly, feeling clumps of algae stuck to my face before going back under. Eventually, it went dark. And then it wasn't again. I was choking up water laying a few feet away from the pond, soaking wet. I took in long deep breaths as I stared into the bright blue sky. I closed my eyes and started to feel tears coming on. Then came a voice. "Don't cry little one." It sounded like a man, but it wasn't a deep voice like my dad's. It was soft, and kind. It reminded me a little of my teacher Mr Woods, he always sounded cheerful. I turned my head from side to side, perched on my elbows. "Down here!" There was a frog sitting on my chest, softly croaking. Just a normal, greenish yellow frog with mottled skin. Its mouth was kind of upturned into a smile. A water beetle scurried in front of it and its tongue quickly flicked out to eat it. "Excuse me," it said, swallowing it down. I sat up and it hopped off my chest. "Di... Did you just speak?" I asked, confused. It nodded slowly, the pale skin under its chin inflating like a balloon as it breathed. "I did," it said. "Are you feeling better?" "Frogs can't talk!" I said, pinching my arm. It hurt, I wasn't dreaming. The frog chuckled warmly. "Well, technically I'm not a frog. I mean, I am. But that's not what I would have called myself. That's what your kind call me." I lowered my head a little, getting a closer look. "What do you mean my kind?" "Well, people. Humans. You are human, aren't you?" I nodded. "Yes, I'm a boy." It laughed. "I thought you might be. Do you have a name, little one?" I nodded again. "Ben, what's your name?" "Nice to meet you, Ben. I don't have a name, sadly." I frowned. "Why not?" Its front legs moved up slightly, like a shrug. "It's just not something we do. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only one of my kind who can talk like this. My mother couldn't have given me a name if she tried." "How can you talk?" I asked inquisitively, shifting down lower. I laid on my front and put my hands under my chin. It shook its head. "Sometimes, strange things happen in this world that can't be explained. I'm one of those strange things, I guess." "If you're the only frog who can talk, that means you're special." Its little mouth turned up at the corners. "That's a very sweet way to put it, thank you Ben. I can tell that you're special too." I shook my head. "No, I'm not. Everyone who I know can talk." The frog laughed warmly. "Oh, Ben. That's not the only thing that makes something special. You're special in other ways." "Like how?" "Well, maybe you're special because you can hear me?" I looked up to think about it, then nodded. "Maybe you're right. I've never ever heard of anyone who can talk to a frog before." "Honestly, I don't think many can." I got a little closer. "Can I touch your skin?" Its mouth opened as it laughed. "Why on earth would you want to do that?" "My friend Henry Collins said frogs feel slimy." "Well, that's just rude," it said. "I'm sure this Henry Collins is slimy himself!" I laughed, shaking my head. "No, silly. He's like me." "For all I know, you're slimy too!" it said. "I'm not, feel." I held out my hand palm side up, just in front of it. It hopped a little closer, then one of its little webbed feet pressed down on one of my fingers. There was a slight cool sensation. "Well, definitely not slimy," it said. "See, I told you. Now it's my turn." It sighed. "Very well, but be gentle. I'm a lot smaller than you." "I will." I stroked its back with my forefinger. It shook its body a little like a happy dog. "Oh my, that tickles a bit," it said, laughing. "I wouldn't say you're slimy," I said. "I'm certainly glad to hear it," said the frog. "But you feel kind of wet. And a bit squidgy." It gasped. "Well, sorry to tell you this Ben but you're a bit squidgy too!" I laughed and rolled onto my back. "You're funny." The frog shook its head, but smiled regardless. "Oh, to be a child." "Ben!" came a loud voice from behind. It was nana, standing on the back doorstep with a cigarette. My heart jumped a little as I sat up. "Yes nana?" "I told you to stay away from that pond!" I looked back, I was a few feet away from it. "I'm not that close nana." She took a drag and blew a big cloud of smoke. "I don't care, get away from it now!" Then she went back in the house. "Oh dear," said the frog. "I might have just gotten you into trouble." I shook my head. "No, I did that myself. I was silly and fell in because I was too close." I paused and got lower again. "Wait, did you see how I got out?" The frog shook its head. "Can't say I did. But I'm glad you're alright." I accepted it as just one of those things. "I better go or I will be in trouble." I sat up. "Are you always here?" It nodded and turned its head to the pond. "Yes, that's my home. Please come and see me again sometime." I nodded. "Definitely. But I'll have to be careful nana doesn't see me." It laughed warmly again. "I understand. Just to be safe, maybe it's best if you don't tell nana, or mum, or even Henry Collins about me. They might not understand. Does that sound reasonable?" I nodded. "I don't think anyone would believe me anyway." It gave a slight nod. "I think you're right." I got up to leave, brushing bits of grass off my front. My clothes were already drying due to the temperature. "Ben," the frog said. I looked down. "Would you do something for me?" I nodded. "Sure." "I don't think it will be too difficult for you. But, I'd love you to give me a name." "You mean, I get to decide what your name is?" I said excitedly. It nodded. "Absolutely, I'd really like that. Unless you're going to call me something silly like 'Froggy' or 'Hoppy'. I wouldn't like that!" I laughed. "I won't, I promise." "Good. Well, next time we see each other, hopefully I'll have a name." I nodded. "You definitely will. I'll think really hard about it." "I look forward to it. Goodbye for now, little one." I waved. "Bye Froggy!" I said, giggling. It shook its head but laughed along with me. "Oh, Ben. You really are something else." + A few weeks passed. I'd spent plenty of time in the garden, sometimes near the pond too. But I didn't see the frog and it was a little disappointing. One day I came home from school. Mum couldn't always pick me up, so it wasn't unusual for her to arrange a taxi to collect me. I walked through the front door and could hear snivelling. "Mum, nana?" I called. "In here darling," I heard mum say from the living room. I walked in, her eyes were puffy and red. She held a scrunched up tissue. "What's wrong mummy?" I asked. She held out her open arms and I accepted them, feeling my eyes fill up. Part of me knew already. "It's nanny," she said as she hugged me. "She's gone to heaven, darling." The house felt different without nana. But no matter how much mum cleaned around, there always seemed to be the smell of cigarette smoke. It wasn't unpleasant, it offered a strange kind of comfort. It was almost like she was still there. Mum and I were lucky to have the house, it was paid for in full. But mum still had to work. Sometimes I'd have a babysitter, a nice lady called Sara who lived in one of the houses down the road. But sometimes that wasn't an option. I know she felt terrible about it, but my mum would leave me on my own on those occasions. "Promise me you'll be a good boy," she'd say. "Don't do silly things. Be safe." I'd always promise and always meant it. On one of those days I was playing in the garden. It had been maybe a month since I'd seen the frog, but I was so happy when I heard his soft little voice. "Ben!" He was sat around a foot from the edge of the pond. I ran over excitedly. "Whoa, slow down little one," he said. "Be safe, remember? We don't want you falling in again." I slowed to a normal pace and nodded, sitting cross legged in front of him. "Sorry, I was excited to see you!" He laughed. "That's sweet of you. And you don't need to apologise. I just feel it's my duty to look out for you when no one else is around." I sighed and nodded. He looked up at me. "Your mum is doing the best she can. She loves you very much, it's all for you." I felt a little tear in my eye and wiped it away. "I know. It's just sometimes I miss her, and I miss nana." The frog hopped closer, then leapt onto my knee. It made me smile. "I'm so sorry about nana, little one. Don't ask me how I know these things, but I can tell you she's nearby in some way. She's a bit mad that you're this close to the pond, but she's happy you've got me as a friend." I cried, but they were mostly happy tears. "Dry your eyes, little one. You've got a big job to do today. Do you know what?" I shook my head. "No. I've already tidied my room, I washed up my cereal bowl, I picked up my cars from the floor..." The frog laughed. "No, no. I'm not talking about boring jobs like that. This is a very, very important and meaningful job!" "Tell me!" I said excitedly. "You need to do me the honour of naming me." I took in a big breath. "Oh yes, and I have a name already. A good one!" It's little mouth smiled again. "Oh my, I can't wait to hear it." My nana and I used to watch a particular film together, quite a lot. As a kid, I loved it. I need you to remember that. I was a kid. Because it's a bad film. But kids aren't as critical, and cynical as adults. They can see past the flaws and focus on the best bits. That's my excuse anyway. King Solomon's Mines. Not only a shameless Indiana Jones rip-off, but shockingly bad all around. It was my nana's favourite film, mainly because she thought Richard Chamberlain was so handsome. Sometimes it got a little inappropriate, but being a kid it would go straight over my head. 'I loved your grandfather, but the things I'd let him do to me...' Little did we know back then that my nana would have never stood a chance! I loved the film for very different reasons. Not only because it was our film, but for the sense of adventure. I didn't understand a lot of it, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. At the time, it seemed like the only fitting name. And it would honour my nana's memory too. "Solomon," I said with a smile. "I'm naming you Solomon." The frog looked at me curiously, turning his head from side to side. "Solomon, hmm." Then it smiled. "It's perfect!" I clapped my hands. "Yay, I'm so happy you like it." "I never doubted you," he said. "I'm proud to call myself 'Solomon'," "So now, if anyone asks what your name is you can tell them." He nodded. "I can indeed, though I don't think that opportunity will come up very often. You're still the only thing I've ever spoken to." I gently stroked his back with my finger, and he closed his eyes with a smile. "Do you think you'll ever talk to anyone else?" He looked up at me. "Honestly, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else special enough." + A few days went by and seeing Solomon was a given. I was happy to have him as a friend, and I appreciated that he didn't always treat me like a child. He'd tell me things as they were, truths that most adults would hide or sugar-coat. But I always felt he had an underlying responsibility to look out for me too. I was a child, and I could act like one. One day we were chatting about school. I was laying on my back and Solomon sat on my chest, like the first day I met him. He cut me off mid-sentence, tapping his little webbed foot. He turned his head to face the house. "Sorry, little one. Something's not right." I perched up on my elbows. "What is it, Solomon?" I could see a change in his expression. He looked concerned. He had this amazing ability to show emotions like we do. "Ben, someone's coming. Someone you'll recognise. I need you to know that whatever happens right now, you'll be safe. Do you understand?" I sat up, and Solomon leapt onto the grass. "You're scaring me, Solomon." "I don't mean to, little one. It might get scary, but believe me. You'll be safe." My breathing started to get heavier and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Solomon hopped closer and rested a foot on my hand. "Look at me, Ben." I looked down, my breathing stuttered. "Do you trust me?" My lips trembled a little but I nodded. I did trust him, as much as I trusted my mum or Mr Woods. "Good boy," he said. I heard a loud noise come from inside the house. It made me gasp. "Remember, you'll be safe. I'll always be honest with you. But, you need to go see who it is." I snivelled a bit and nodded, standing up slowly and turning to the house. I started walking. "I'm here, little one," he called from behind. I walked closer to the house, hearing the sound of furniture moving around. Every now and then I heard an expletive. I did recognise the voice. It was my dad. I hadn't seen him since we moved into nana's house. I didn't want to, he wasn't nice to mum. I walked into the back door and through the kitchen, following the sounds of disturbance. They took me to the living room where he was rummaging through drawers. It took him some time to notice I was there, he jumped when he saw me. "Jesus fucking Christ, Ben!" My hands shook a little. I didn't like it when he used bad words. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice wavering. He shook his head. "Hello to you too, boy. Where's your mother?" She was at work. I couldn't lie and say she was home, so I said nothing. He laughed. "She's not here, is she? The worthless bitch left you on your own. That's negligence. Leaving my fucking son unsupervised, who does she think she is?" "Stop saying bad things about mum," I shouted, my whole body trembling. "She's got you fucking wrapped around her little finger, hasn't she?" He started to step closer, I backed up. "What lies has she been feeding you, huh? Turning my own son against me." "She didn't tell me anything," I cried. "I heard the things you said. I saw what you did." He shook his head and grinned in a sarcastic way. "Right. Well, you're a little kid and have a wild imagination. She's twisted it. I didn't do shit." I slowly stepped back through the hallway as he etched closer. "Anyway, I heard the mother bitch is six feet under. There's gotta be some cash around here. That Scrooge hated spending money. Unless it was for a pack of John Player Specials, hah!" I shook my head. "There's nothing." He smiled. "Well I'll just have to keep looking on my own, then." "There's nothing!" I shouted. "Stop saying bad things! Get out!" The phone was on a little table by the staircase, it was just behind me. I ran to it and started dialing 999. It was a rotary dial, and each 9 took forever to make its way round. I'd barely managed two before he snatched it out of my hand. "You little shit," he sneered, pushing me back against the staircase. "What the fuck do you think the police are gonna do? They'll take you away. Is that what you want?" I started crying and hit out at him, but he just laughed. "I hate you," I snivelled. "I wish you wasn't my dad!" As if by magic, the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. It was enough to spook him, his head turning towards the front door. Then back to the phone. "No, it couldn't have. That's not possible." It was a miraculous coincidence, but he fell for it. I just stared at him, shaking. "You know what? I bet you're not even mine anyway. Your slut mother couldn't keep her legs shut." He backed up to the front door and opened it. "Yeah, there's no way a little cunt like you is mine." He left and slammed the door behind him. The word he used was genuinely new to me, so it didn't have the desired impact. It confused me. But I figured it wasn't very nice anyway. My trembling legs carried me down to the bottom of the garden. Solomon was there, he hopped closer as I got near the pond. "Are you alright little one?" he asked. I nodded, but fell to my knees and cried. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" I shook my head. "No. I believed you. It was scary, but I believed you." He patted his little foot on my knee. "You're a very brave boy." + When mum came home I had to explain to her what had happened. She panicked, and held me tighter than she ever had before. If anything good came from it, it's that she told me she would never leave me alone again. I helped her clear up the mess dad had made. I asked her if she was going to call the police and there was a flash of consideration in her eyes. But she decided against it. That night when I went to bed, it started to rain. I could hear it tapping against my window. I always loved that sound, it was comforting. It hadn't rained for weeks which was strange for the UK. I awoke late. A sudden bright flash emanated from behind the curtains, followed by a loud crack of thunder. It startled me. I've never been afraid of a storm but it took me off guard. It must have been what woke me up. I opened my curtains just enough to see the rain coming down hard, then I watched in awe as the forks of lightning spread across the night sky. I blinked hard as the next crack of thunder struck, laughing to myself. As the next flash came I looked down to see Solomon's pond rippling. I thought about how happy he'd be swimming around in the rain. There came a loud crash from inside the house. Then I could hear muffled voices. I jumped down from my bed, my room illuminated briefly with the next sheet of lightning. I knew the thunder was coming, but it still made me flinch as I crept closer to my door. I pulled it open just a little and listened closely. My mum was talking downstairs. No, shouting! Then came the voice that my heart already knew was responsible for it. My legs felt like jelly as I quietly walked across the landing and held on to the banister, looking down. A flash of light spread across the floor, then a loud scream mingled with the rumbling thunder. It filled me with dread. I heard my dad shout more horrible words, then I saw something that I'll never forget. My mum slowly came into view. She was crawling on her belly, and the back of her head was thick with blood. Her blonde hair clumped together. "Mum!" I screamed, and her face slowly turned upwards. Her eyes briefly met mine. They were wide with horror. Her mouth opened, she was trying to say something. Then she collapsed. As I started to cry my dad came into view. He was holding a hammer, the head of it a glossy dark red. He looked up and sneered as the lightning struck again, and the crash of thunder was like a starting gun. I ran back into my room as I heard my dad on the staircase, slamming the door shut. There was a chest of drawers just to the side and, being young and stupid, I thought I might be able to push it over to stop him from getting in. The reality was it didn't move an inch. He burst in, making me scream. "Time to be with your whore mother!" he snarled, swinging the hammer down. I managed to duck out of the way and it smacked into the side of the drawers. I was on my hands and knees crawling to my bed. I wanted to go underneath it, like it would fool him. That silly childish logic again. I didn't get far though. He picked me up by the scruff of my Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas. He held me up by one hand, the other holding the hammer high above. The lightning revealed strands of blonde hair matted to the head with blood. He grinned in such an evil, hateful way. "You know how I know you're not really mine? I have no problem with bashing your tiny little skull in!" I grabbed onto his wrist for support. His clenched fist was just in front of my face, I wanted to try and bite it but I knew I couldn't reach. So I did the next best thing. As the hammer rose higher, I kicked out as hard as I could with my left foot. I got him good between the legs! The pain I felt in my bare toes was excruciating, but it payed off. He dropped me and fell back, groaning as he let go of the hammer and held his crotch. But of all the places he could have rested, it had to be against the door. I jumped on my bed and threw my curtains open, scrambling to open the window. My dad was moaning behind me. "You little fucker!" he said, it was a pitch higher than normal. The window opened outwards, my face splashed with rain. I looked down and could just make out the roof of the little extension that was part of the kitchen. The lightning gave me an even better look. It didn't look like too much of a drop, but it was scary enough to make me hesitate. "You're dead, boy!" he screamed, lunging for the hammer and then throwing himself on the bed. I screamed and hung backwards from the window, my hands gripping on to the ledge. The rain came down hard on my face, but I could make out his blurry outline. The flash in the sky showed him looming over me, and as the next thunder clap came, the hammer came down. It caught my wrist. I barely had time to acknowledge the pain, then I was falling. I hit the roof feet first, toppled over, then rolled down the slightly slanted tiles until I met the edge. I tried to cling on to something but my hands wouldn't grip, slipping with the combination of water and slimy rooftop moss. I hit the back garden hard, knocking the wind out of me. If it hadn't been raining it might have been worse. The sodden grass somewhat cushioned my fall. That being said, I was frozen for a good few seconds as I tried to catch my breath. As soon as that was under control, that's when I really started to notice the pain in my wrist and toes. I managed to roll over and get to my feet. The back garden was darker than the house, but every flash helped me see the way. I held my wrist to my chest, supporting it with my other hand, and limped in the direction of Solomon's pond. My tears were indistinguishable from the rain. My body was as wet as it had been on the day I met Solomon and almost drowned. My dad's voice roared from somewhere behind me, making me take in a sharp breath. "I'm coming for ya, boy. No one will recognise you when I'm done crushing your face!" I darted into the greenery on my left, ducking down. I crawled in, wincing as I put pressure on my bad wrist. I didn't stop until I felt a sharp pain on my right shoulder. It was a thorn. I was in one of blackberry bushes. I sat up and turned around, pulling my knees up to my chest for comfort. Then I slowly rocked myself as my lips trembled. When lightning struck, I saw my dad looking around the garden. The hammer was constantly raised above his head. He poked his head inside bushes, looked behind trees. He smashed the windows of the little garden shed we had and was adamant he'd found me, screaming with anger when he realised I wasn't inside. "Get your fucking arse out here, now!" Every crack of thunder made me jump like I wasn't expecting it. My dad turned his head to the sky and roared along with it, like a taunt. An intimidation. I closed my eyes tight and continued to slowly rock. As my dad started to move over to my side of the garden, there appeared to be another miracle. The second of the day. The storm must have been testing the electricals of the house, and something triggered the fuse box. Most of the lights went out. It got his attention. "Got ya!" he yelled, and ran up the garden. The next flash revealed he'd gone back in the house. I slowly crawled out of the bush and got to my feet, heading left and limping the last few steps to the pond. I was exhausted, and in more pain than I'd ever experienced before. But hearing Solomon's voice made everything feel better. For just a moment. "Little one!" I couldn't see him at first, but I could tell I was close to the pond by the sound of the rain as it hit the surface. With a flash, I saw him there on the edge. I fell to my knees and collapsed to my side. "Solomon!" I cried, reaching out with my good hand. I held it upright and he hopped onto it with a croak. "Little one, we don't have much time!" I took in a stuttered breath. "He killed my mum," I cried. "He killed my mum, Solomon." He patted my hand with one of his webbed feet, shaking his head. "No, Ben. In time, she will make a full recovery." I snivelled. "How do you know?" "Because I'm special, remember? I also know you've broken two of your left toes. And your left wrist is fractured." My jaw dropped, my mouth splashed with rain. "How...?" "I just do, little one. Your mother will be fine. Trust me." I bawled, but it was mostly relief. I believed him. "He's still here Solomon. He's trying to get me." He gently tapped on my hand. "I know, little one. But I can help you." I got up to kneel and Solomon leapt from my hand. By that point I wasn't only shivering from fear, but cold. The rain wasn't letting up. "How?" I asked. "Are you feeling brave?" I shook my head. "No. I'm scared, Solomon. He's going to hurt me like he hurt mum." He hopped closer and patted my knee. "I won't let him, Ben. But I need you to be a big, brave boy. Can you do that?" I looked over my shoulder, the house briefly illuminated in a flash. Then the lights went back on. It made my heart jump. "Please, little one. Be brave." I turned back and nodded, but I didn't feel brave at all. My stomach churned. "What should I do?" "Something scary. I need you to bring your father to me." I held my bad hand to my chest. "How, Solomon? He'll hurt me before I have the chance." He shook his head. "Not if you're fast. And clever. I know you're clever." I started crying again. "But I'm just a little boy." Solomon sighed. "Oh, Ben. I wish I could hug you. You're so much more than 'just a little boy'. Before I met you, I was just a little frog. But you made me special, because you are special. Believe in yourself, little one." I mustered a small smile and stroked Solomon on his back. "We make each other special, don't we?" He smiled and croaked. "Exactly. Now, bring your father to me. You can do it. Fast and clever." I gulped, wiped my nose with the back of my good hand, and nodded. By that point the thunder no longer made me jump. That made me feel somewhat brave. I slowly stood up and Solomon leapt to the edge of his pond. Turning, I started walking up the garden. The soft wet ground squidged between my toes and soothed the broken ones a little. "Ben," called Solomon. I looked over my shoulder. "Thank you for being my friend." I smiled as best as I could under the circumstances, giving him a slight nod. I didn't say anything, but I didn't have to. Solomon and I had a connection. My heart was filled with warmth in that moment and it spurred me on. I watched as Solomon turned and hopped into the pond with a splash. Then I started preparing for the scariest thing in my life. The back door was open. It was eerily quiet inside. A small part of me had hope that my dad had left. But I couldn't be sure. I picked up a small saucepan that sat on the counter, my hand trembling. Then I banged it on a cupboard door. "Dad!" I called. "I'm here!" It didn't take long at all. Within a few seconds I heard heavy footsteps on the floorboards, then he appeared in the kitchen doorway. The hammer was by his side. He grinned. "Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this." He raised the hammer and lunged forward. The first thing I did was throw the saucepan in his direction. That hadn't been planned but felt like a wasted opportunity if I didn't. It barely touched him, but it was worth a try. I turned and ran, going as fast as I could given my foot injury. It didn't take long to hear a thump and a painful yell, and I allowed myself to look over my shoulder. I'd crushed blackberries all over the doorstep, making it slippery. My dad was laying on the ground, writhing around. It had given me a small advantage. "Fuck you!" he screamed, getting to his feet. I gasped as I turned back to face the back of the garden. My little toes were so painful, but I still ran as fast as I had in the 100m race on my school's sports day. At least it felt like it. But I knew my dad was twice, maybe even three times faster than me. It wouldn't take him long to catch up. The lightning flashed and it guided my way, showing me what I needed to do next. As I heard my dad closing in, I jumped. I landed on the wet grass with a little slip, but managed to compose myself and kept running. I heard another yell and looked over my shoulder again. My dad was laying on the ground again, swearing. We had a pile of logs in the shed for winter fires, and I'd placed some in the garden. "Ben!" he screamed, getting to his feet. "I'm gonna start by smashing in your fucking teeth!" I turned back and kept running, relying on the lightning again. The thunder roared but I could still hear my dad behind me. I jumped over another log, but that one didn't stop him. He was looking out for them now. My last attempt at slowing him down was coming up, though he'd need to be closer for that to work. Not that I needed to slow down, I was practically within his grasp. He laughed maniacally, and I could hear the hammer as it swiped through the air. I jumped again, but this time I didn't land straight away. There was a branch sticking out from my favourite climbing tree, and I used it to swing myself a little further ahead. When I let go, it swung back and smacked my dad in the face. He screamed as he came to a halt. "Your eyes!" he yelled as I ran with all I had. That was the last of my obstacles. "I'm gonna start by gouging out your eyes!" I felt panic rising inside as I sprinted the final stretch to Solomon's pond. My bad hand clung to my chest, feeling my heart beating hard beneath it. My dad wasn't too far behind now, and there was nothing between us. With a flash of light, I saw the pond. But I saw something else too that gave me a little fright. Protruding slightly from the surface were two big, glowing eyes. Then they raised up slightly to reveal a wide mouth that was upturned in the corners, like a smile. As the thunder rumbled I heard a deep croak, and the pale flesh below the mouth inflated intermittently. The eyes were fixed onto mine, and with a final flash of light before I reached the pond, the large head motioned to the sky. I understood. My dad had stopped speaking hateful words and instead screamed in a constant fit of rage. I took a deep breath and leapt as my toes reached the edge of the pond, landing in the middle of the squidgy wet head. It flicked up slightly to spring me to the other side where I landed straight on my arse. I had just enough time to turn and see my dad's terrified reaction as Solomon emerged from his pond in a geyser of water. Solomon roared and shot out his large tongue, it wrapped around my dad's ankles and pulled him over. I watched in disbelief as he dropped the hammer and tried to claw at the soft ground. Solomon began to retreat back underwater. My dad's screams were more terrifying than the disturbing threats he'd hissed throughout the evening. All I could see was the very top of Solomon's head as my dad was pulled into the water, his lower legs submerged. "Help me!" he screamed, his hands tearing at patches of grass. He turned to look over his shoulder, at the face of what was to end his violent attack. My dad was as pale as snow, his nose bloody from the tree. I heard a loud croak as Solomon raised out of the water, then closed his mouth around my dad's waist. He smacked at Solomon's head as he struggled, but I could see him becoming visibly weaker as I heard the sound of crushing bones. Finally, my dad's eyes met mine. I can't be sure, but I think I saw the moment that life left them. They just appeared to be void of any emotion as Solomon dragged him to the depths, and the pond became deathly still. + Just a few weeks ago I happened to be in the area of my nana's old house. I've long since moved away, as has my mum who is as fit and healthy as you'd expect a seventy-something to be. I pulled up outside and took a deep breath as I looked upon it with mixed emotions. The exterior hadn't changed a great deal. The windows were more modern, that was about it. The front door opened and a woman came out, walking down the garden path. I shut off the engine and stepped out of my car. "Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully. "Are you lost?" I smiled. "No. Erm, actually I grew up here. I was just reminiscing." She beamed. "Oh, that's wonderful. You must come inside!" I was grateful for her offer and she took me on a little tour of the house. I was amazed by how different it looked. The last time I'd seen the inside of that house was around the early 90s, where it had the same decor as always. It was very much a family home. There were two children's bedrooms and various family photos dotted around. I got a little lump in my throat seeing my old room. The woman could tell by my reaction that it used to be mine, lightly touching my arm. As we went back downstairs she offered me a hot drink, to which I politely declined. But my eyes fell onto the kitchen window and the now completely landscaped back garden. "Do you still have the pond?" I asked. She nodded. "Oh yes, my husband keeps koi." "Do you mind if I take a look?" She smiled. "Be my guest. I'm making tea, I won't take no for an answer." I stepped outside. There was no longer grass as you left the doorstep, but a modern patio with outdoor furniture. The old shed had been replaced with what looked like a small annex. There was a large trampoline in the centre of the garden. Six year old me would have loved that! As I approached the garden's end the pond came into view. It was beautifully maintained. The edge was decorated with rocks, there was even a mini waterfall. I crouched down and watched the koi kiss the shimmery surface. My heart filled and I felt my eyes glaze over, having not thought about that pond for some time. There was a croak to my left. I looked down to see a little frog hop towards me. It made me smile. "Hello you," I said, lightly stroking its back. It made no attempt to hop away. It looked up at me, and I swear it's little mouth looked like it was smiling. I got more comfortable and held out my hand palm side up. The frog willingly hopped on top. My heart jumped. I brought it closer to my face and studied it. It had been years since I'd seen Solomon, and with no offence intended, I wasn't sure I'd be able to tell him apart from any other frog. And given their short lifespan, he'd probably be long dead already. But Solomon wasn't like other frogs. He was special. And this was curious behaviour. "Solomon?" I said quietly, paranoid I'd be heard by the welcoming woman. It just looked at me and croaked contently. "It's me, Ben." A part of me was preparing for a response, I wasn't sure how adult me would react to that. But there came none. Just a pleasant little expression on its face as it croaked. I let out a little laugh. "Once upon a time, there was a very special frog who lived here. I know it sounds silly, but he was the best friend I ever had. I never got to thank him for what he did for my mum and I, so I'll say it to you. Thank you, Solomon." I felt tears in my eyes as I shook it off, preparing to put the frog down. But it moved closer to my face and placed its little webbed foot on my nose, tapping lightly. The woman in the house seemed genuinely warm, as I'm sure her husband is too. But I knew in my heart; if either of them turned out to be monsters, their children would be safe for as long as they lived here. dd submitted by /u/disco-dingus to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/RitaRox to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Picture a new world styled after Florida. Three neighborhoods: 1.) Biltmore Bluffs (styled after Palm Beach/Boca Raton) with rolling golf courses that work like ski slopes in Mt. Komorebi- you can’t build them, but you can play them if you’re in the area. This neighborhood is covered with golf courses, high end restaurants, spas, and an expensive “country club” style retirement home. It would have plated meals and maid service and a resort- style pool. 2.) Coquina Key (Key West/Key Largo) Ocean front, delightfully kitsch community with snorkeling, mini golf, and a nudist colony with shuffleboard courts and happy hours. Lots of street performers, fishing, and party vibes. Think margaritaville. I'd love to incorporate Mallory Square and the infamous six-toed cats. Maybe there could be a sim based off Ernest Hemingway who lives in this neighborhood?? 3.) Sunny Isle (Orlando) - cheap retirement community that is tacky but social! More mini golf, a bingo hall, slot machines and some swamp. Like, if a plastic flamingo were actually a place. Picture Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm Down” video. Above ground pools and lawn ornaments everywhere. Shuffleboard, pickleball. Activities/items to add: obviously mini golf, regular golf, bingo, and Metal detectors to comb the beach with (do these already exist?), car restoration, shell collecting, card games like bunko or bridge, shuffleboard, slot machines, scrapbooking, pickleball, bocce ball, croquet, above ground pools. I realize we couldn't get all of this, but I'd settle for half. (if it were Sims 3 we would literally get all of this lol) Aspirations: dream retirement, worlds best grandparent, golf guru New socials: pinch cheeks, ask about significant other, dad joke, pester staff, complain food is too cold, grumble about kids these days, show pictures of grandkids, show scrapbook, enthuse about having children, offer food, brag about granchildren, etc. Recipes: oatmeal cookies, green bean casserole, gelatin mold, prune juice, bread pudding, steak Diane, clams casino, chicken a la king, Welsh rarebit, tuna casserole, beef stroganoff, turkey tetrazzini, fried chicken with collard greens, chop suey, frito pie, chicken fried steak, seven layer bars, etc. Also need grouper and Cuban sandwiches because it is Florida themed after all. Other: golf and bingo tournament events, bbq event, pot lucks. Each retirement home would ideally work like apartments in city living with communal areas. Dorms could also work, as long as you had the option to play/move in multiple families. I’d love to have a cafeteria and little scheduled social nights and events like a ballroom dance class, potlucks, or bingo night. I’d also like each neighborhood to have a residential lot aside from the retirement community so that you can still have families or seniors live in the area on their own. Would also like to see an HOA "career" track where seniors can run for HOA board. EA could probably re-tool the Eco Living influence/community ordinance system to elect seniors and let them run the HOA. This could get fun. Snitching on fellow seniors, making tyrannical rules about cleanliness, fining sims for silly reasons, or even misappropriating HOA funds... But if a sim's unpopular decisions make them lose too much influence within the retirement community, they could be ousted in an upcoming election! We could also use more familial interaction. I'd love a functional scrapbook that seniors can pass down to loved ones, with old pictures and captions. Also, maybe younger sims can learn skills or earn traits from interacting with grandparents and experience positive moodlets when they eat food their grandparents prepared. Kids and teens could also volunteer at community nights for empathy and/or responsibility. And, perhaps most needed, I would love to be able to draw up a "will" or basically choose a sim who gets everything in the elderly sim's inventory when they die. This way, if you're playing another family, you wont lose all that stuff when the elder dies. I would like it if, in live mode, you could select certain items to be "willed" to certain friends and family. Things like photos, paintings, cross-stitches, birth certificates etc. that are used for decor but are worth keeping/passing down if you're a legacy player. Edit: I saw that some others suggested reward traits that make elders curmudgeonly or senile based on life choices and I love that. Also loving the ADA suggestions and the home health aide career track. There's just so much you could do with this pack. Edit: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback, love, and awards. I love the Sims community- y'all are so nice. I hope EA sees this thread and thanks to those of you who contributed great ideas in the comments. If anyone knows some talented modders and would like to connect us, I would love to work with them and learn from them while working on this project. Our elders need a little love. submitted by /u/Masta-Blasta to r/Sims4 [link] [comments]

You know how every morning, you wake up in a nice, warm, cozy bed and not in an alien slave camp, where they’re going to work you to death until it’s time to chop you up for meat? ​ Yeah. You’re welcome. ​ My name’s Bill and I’ve probably got the most thankless fucking job in the world. Sure, on paper it doesn’t sound like much. I sit at a desk all day and look at data on a computer. But I’m the one who keeps the world turning and I am damn good at my job. Whenever the dreaded End of Days draws near, I’m the one who sees it coming and makes sure it doesn’t. Maybe I’m not the guy they send out into the field to do the dirty work. But those guys only do what I tell them to do. Without me, society as you know it would not exist and I am trying to remain as humble as humanly possible when I say that. ​ Now, I’ll give credit where it’s due. I’m not the one who invented the Future Probe technology. That was done by a guy named Doctor Johann Pinter back in the 70s. I won’t get into the technical details of it, but simply put, Pinter figured out time travel. He also figured out that time travel was a goddamn mess. Sci-fi nerds will understand. ​ Through his experiments, Pinter figured out that you can’t really alter the past. You can go back in time, sure and you can create a NEW future. But your original future will still exist. Let’s say that you had a bad day, got drunk and ran over a pedestrian, then decided to go back in time to steal your keys that night to prevent it. When you went back to the future, the pedestrian would still be dead and you’d still be a murderer. However, you would have created an alternate timeline where you didn’t run over a pedestrian. ​ Theoretically, you can go and live in the timeline where you didn’t murder a pedestrian, it would be weird and you’d have to figure out how to handle the other version of you… But you wouldn’t have technically changed anything. ​ Furthermore, Pinter determined that the present has multiple branching possible futures. Some of which are messier than others. So, with all this in mind, Pinter figured that the best thing to do was instead of going back and trying to fix some great injustices in the world (especially since he’d concluded that an alternative version of him almost certainly decided to do exactly that anyway) he instead decided to focus on improving the future. That is why he founded Foresight. ​ Now, officially Foresight is classified as a research company and we legitimately do offer some of that. I’m not really involved in that end of things, but I know that some large companies and even some arms of the US Government consult with us looking for data to help them predict shit like economic growth and depression, effects of certain actions on the world stage and other shit like that. ​ As a rule, we don’t really do the time travel thing for them unless we have to. We don’t really advertise that because it’s best not to leave time travel in careless hands. We don’t actually know what happens if you fuck with time too much, and we really don’t want to find out. The research is just the front, though. The real goal behind Foresight was always the Future Probe program. ​ See, Pinter figured out pretty early on that sending people into the future was not a good idea. First off, people can die. Second off, people can be intrusive and fuck things up. So he decided a less invasive approach was necessary. So he started using probes. They’re less impressive than they sound. The probes are just mobile cameras. Not that different from the Mars rover. The design has changed a bit over the years. The first ones looked more like RC cars, then they went with a sorta metal spider look, now they’re drones. They record what they see and bring it back to us. Back when the program started, we literally needed to watch through whatever they’d recorded, but nowadays we can get it broadcast back to us in what’s more or less real time (so to speak). ​ Now, obviously, the logistics of sending drones into every possible future is a little over the top. So Pinter developed a machine that basically analyzes possible futures. Do not ask me how it works. That’s above my pay grade. Anyways, potential apocalyptic scenarios show up as data that gets transmitted to us. Or, more specifically to me. ​ My job is to filter out the less likely scenarios (There are a lot of them) and only really focus on the ones that have a real, almost certain risk of causing the end of the world. The more potential futures feature that apocalypse, the more severe the risk. ​ Thankfully, if we know that the world is ending, and we know why, we can also figure out how to prevent it. I can use the probes to look at futures where the world didn’t end, and figure out why and how to make sure we steer ourselves towards that future. Usually, we get a few years fair warning before an apocalyptic event so there’s plenty of time to make adjustments and so far, I’d say that we’ve done a pretty damn good job. ​ Pinter died back in the 90s, a few years before I joined up with the organization, but I’d like to think he’d be happy with the fact that most of the world's population isn’t either dead or worse and I’m gonna be honest, I’m pretty proud of the work I’ve done with Foresight! Which leads me to why I’m sharing this… ​ You can probably guess that we’re not supposed to openly talk about the Future Probe program. I’m technically violating my contract and opening myself up to a whole host of legal hot water just by sharing this. But hey, I figure it’s not going to matter soon, so what the hell, right? You guys just dodged a fucking bullet. ​ I don’t think there’s a single person on this planet who knows how lucky they are right now and they’ve all got me to thank. Now, obviously this isn’t my first time saving the world. But I’d say it is the most noteworthy. I’ll explain why in a little bit. ​ See, it all started a couple of weeks ago. I mentioned before that when an apocalyptic scenario pops up, we’ve usually got a few years notice. The circumstances that will lead to the end of civilization as we know it don’t just pop up overnight. There’s usually years of buildup. But every now and then, we get an exception and exceptions scare the living shit out of me. ​ Needless to say, when I got an alert telling me that 65% of the possible futures that our program surveyed involved an apocalyptic scenario within the next four days, I couldn’t help but panic a little. Naturally, I flagged it as DEFCON 1 and immediately sent it off to the higher ups, as protocol dictates. Then, I started sending out the probes. ​ Now, usually, when we get a high priority scenario like this, it’s because some group of nutjobs is about to do something drastic in service of whatever fucked up agenda they believe in. You may not think that a bunch of lunatics could bring about the end of the world, but if there’s one lesson that history has shown, again and again, it is that you should never underestimate the power of very stupid people left unattended in a large group. ​ Needless to say, scary as these scenarios are, these idiots are usually not that hard to deal with. Once we’ve got the alert, we can either notify the proper people that some assholes are trying to make a move, or get our own guys to handle it. Usually, said assholes aren’t smart enough to bumble their way into the apocalypse in most future timelines, thus reducing the likelihood of our world ending to a much lower, more acceptable percentage. With that in mind, when I sent out the probes and started reviewing the footage, I was expecting to find the usual suspects of an apocalyptic future and I wasn’t entirely disappointed. ​ A lot of what the probes sent back was footage of empty streets, and signs of carnage. Smears of blood on the pavement, mangled corpses in the streets… I’d seen things like this before. In timelines where a sudden event caused the rapid collapse of society, you’d usually see signs of violence in the streets but this wasn’t really like that… ​ See, that kind of violence tends to be caused by sudden riots. People go crazy once society breaks down. You’ll see shit on fire, storefronts smashed, vehicles tipped over, shit like that. Well. Storefronts were smashed. Vehicles were tipped over. There was clearly some violence… But this didn’t look like it had been caused by a riot. ​ For starters, rioters don’t pry cars open like tin cans… Rioters don’t rip into people the way the bodies in the streets had been torn into. Rioters also don’t seem to only be going in one direction. ​ There was something about the way the bodies were spaced out. They weren’t scattered around. They looked like they’d been moving… Running. From what exactly? I didn’t know. With no obvious signs of what had caused the carnage, I decided to try something new. I tuned the probes to start scanning the local radio stations. Usually, in an emergency event, there’s some sort of broadcast. One thing that’s just about constant is that they’re usually on the same frequencies, so it didn’t take me long to find it. ​ Through the static, I could clearly make out a voice I recognized as the President of the United States. It took a little bit of work to make the message come through clearly, but this is what it said: ​ “My fellow Americans. To those of you who are left… We are fighting as hard as we can. The situation on the West Coast has continued to deteriorate. The incident in Reno a few days ago has spread throughout Nevada, into California, Oregon, Washington, Arizona, Texas, Utah, Idaho, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana and Oklahoma. The Bugs have also been confirmed to have crossed the borders into Canada and Mexico and reports indicate that the situation is dire… To those of you still alive in the affected states, I urge you to remain in your homes. Remain indoors, away from the outside. We will send help if we can. But until then, you must survive as long as you can. ​ To those of you in the east, where this infestation continues to spread… Do not panic. But do not assume that this infestation will not continue its advance. We have continued our efforts to evacuate the areas that will inevitably be hit by the Bugs. If you live in one of these areas, we ask that you do not fight to remain in your home. It will be overrun and you, and your loved ones will be in danger. The only promise of safety lies further east. If your community has not yet been evacuated, then I urge you to begin preparing to leave now. Take only what you need to survive. Food, water and medicine. As we evacuate, we are actively looking into strategies to repel this threat. Your soldiers continue to fight valiantly for your protection against the oncoming horde and they will triumph… But victory will come at a cost…” ​ The speech went on for some time, even after that. But by that point, I’d stopped listening. ​ Reno. That was where this had originated… Naturally, the next step was to study Reno and start looking for a potential source of the problem. The President had said something about Bugs… I’d seen some things involving Bugs before, sure. But never anything on this scale. I supposed I’d find out for sure soon enough. ​ The higher ups had sent me an email asking for a status update, so I sent them the radio transmission I’d gotten along with the footage. I noted that I’d be looking into Reno next. ​ I recalled all previous probes, and requested 28 probes be sent into different times, in the next week. Each probe would appear within the city of Reno over the next 168 hours, one appearing every 6 hours. This was a fairly standard procedure. The basic idea is that once you’ve found Ground Zero for the apocalypse, you monitor it as heavily as possible until you find the moment it starts. Then, you go back, and study that moment from every possible angle and trace it back to its source. ​ It’s basically just the process of elimination, only using time travel. Now, the nice thing about the 6 hour model is that it makes it relatively easy to figure out an overall timeline of events. For example, most of the probes from the tail end of that 168 hour window all picked up a bloodstained disaster that used to be the city of Reno… And it wasn’t pretty. There were bodies in the streets, cars torn open, the same shit I’d seen before. Only now, I was getting a better look at just what was behind it. ​ Some of the probes recorded footage of massive flies. They didn’t seem to hurt people at least, they mostly just seemed to be feeding on the remains. Looking back further though, I could see video footage of massive creatures that sort of resembled a praying mantis, only they had a physical texture more like tree bark. A couple of those mantis things took out the goddamn drones… But at least I got a good look at them. ​ The drones I had left kept sending me more footage of the violence following the apocalypse. Giant, spider like creatures crawled through Reno, stalking fleeing prey… Spiky things like grasshoppers leapt around, feeding on whoever they could catch. There were so many, all of them flooding out of Reno as if someone had opened up the gates to an insectophobe's personal Hell. Crabs, pill bugs, centipedes, dragonflies, moths… Some of them didn’t seem dangerous. Others were more than happy to kill. ​ I must’ve spent an hour or so reviewing the footage of the bugs, perplexed before I started going back further. These things were fascinating. I’d never seen them in any potential future before. Where the hell had they even come from? Some sort of genetic experiment gone wrong, maybe? But we would’ve had more warning if that were the case, wouldn’t we? Sabotage perhaps? ​ I looked at the footage from the drones earlier in the timeline. Looking at the dates, the inciting incident in question seemed to happen in four days time from when I was currently. The drones stopped picking up footage of the bugs around Thursday morning… It had to be sometime around then. ​ I spent the better part of my day, analyzing the footage I got from my drones. I redirected several of them to focus on what went on, on Wednesday and Thursday. I listened to radio broadcasts, swept the sewers and looked for evidence of what was to come. ​ Sometime early in the afternoon on Thursday, I picked up radio chatter on some police channels about a car being found torn open by a water treatment plant outside of town. So I directed the drones there. Sure enough, I got some decent footage of the attack. One of those spider things came out of the woods and tore into the car. It was a little fascinating to watch… It moved so fast, grabbing it and wrapping its legs around it. The goddamn thing was massive! ​ I watched as it used its fangs to tear through the metal before digesting the poor fuckers inside alive and slurping up the gooey mess… Ugly way to die. ​ I sent some drones back about a half hour before the attack to keep an eye out for the Spider. It took a bit of searching, but I eventually found it moving through the woods, coming from the water treatment plant. Interesting… ​ I left one drone to keep an eye on it, while I sent some of the others back again. This time, to explore the plant itself, an hour before the attack. I sent two of them in through a pipe that I figured the spider had come out of… Sure enough, I found the spider there, chilling in a giant web. I made sure to keep the drones away from it. Moving through the interior of the plant, I wasn’t that surprised to find more of the bugs waiting there. From the looks of it, they’d been causing one hell of a mess. I could see the bodies of dead men, mostly eaten along with evidence of the bugs preying on each other. But no obvious indicator as to where they were coming from… Not at first, anyways. ​ I sent the drones back in time again. One went back to the day before, one only went back two hours. ​ One day ago, the water treatment plant looked normal. No corpses. No horde of bug creatures ready to destroy America. Just a normal water treatment plant. ​ Two hours ago, on the other hand, the water treatment plant had been a lot less crowded… Most of the staff looked to be dead, and those that weren’t were in the middle of being eaten by all sorts of nasty things. ​ Where they were coming from still wasn’t obvious, but I only needed to sit and wait to find out. It didn’t take that long. ​ I could see shapes bubbling up from some of the pools of treated water. The machines had been shut down, and all sorts of horrors pulled themselves out of the rotten depths. Those mantis things, flies, mosquitos… They all came to life, confused and hungry, shambling around looking for food… They all came from the water. ​ I brought my drone closer, trying to see what was in there. That was a mistake. One of the mantis things grabbed it, mistaking it for dinner. ​ Welp. Back to my other drone. ​ I used the one I’d sent back one day, and sent it to a point in time three hours before I’d lost my other drone to the mantis. Five hours before first contact. Already, I could see a few of the bugs there… I could see new ones, smaller ones coming out of the stagnant water. And I could see a man. ​ He was standing on a balcony, looking down at the pools of untreated water with a stony expression. Yeah. This was the fucking guy behind all this. It had to be. Nobody stares at a giant mantis crawling out of a pool of wastewater without screaming and running away like a little bitch unless they expect a giant mantis to crawl out of that pool of wastewater. ​ This was the fucking guy! I moved my drone towards him, ready to get a good look at this asshole's face… And then. Well. I got exactly that. Only the asshole wasn’t just some asshole. The asshole was me. ​ For a moment, I sat in my chair, looking at this man who looked exactly like me, calmly watching the fucking Bug Apocalypse crawl out of the city of Reno’s collective wastewater… And as I sat there in utter disbelief, the man turned his head to look right at the drone… And he fucking smiled. Then, without missing a beat he took a piece of paper out of his pocket and showed it to the camera. In big bold writing, I could see what I recognized as a radio station. ​ He… I, was sending me a message… ​ My palms suddenly felt sweaty. My heart was racing a little too fast. Should I even listen to what this guy had to say? Whatever it was, it was crazy, right? Even if he was though, I still should hear what he had to say… I still should document it, maybe it would explain why, right? ​ If it were anyone else, that’s exactly what I would have done. But it wasn’t anyone else… It was me. What would I have to say to myself? Something that would make me do this? That was crazy, right? It had to be fucking crazy! ​ Right…? I thought it over, sitting in silence for several minutes. ​ The man on the screen… Me, just went back to studying the creatures coming out of the waste water before walking away, towards the offices. I made the drone follow him for every step. He didn’t seem to mind. He kept looking back at the camera, smiling every now and then as he kept walking. ​ He walked through the door to the offices and locked it behind him, then sat in the chair of a cubicle. He took one last look at the camera, his smile fading slightly… Then he took out a gun. He set the paper on the desk, before he put it to his head. I watched him pull the trigger. I watched myself die. It was… ​ I don’t know how to describe it… ​ For a moment, I just sat there in silence, my hand over my mouth as I tried to process what I’d just seen. Then, inevitably my eyes were drawn to the paper he’d set down… The radio station. His last words. My last words. ​ I had to know. ​ I tuned to the station and started cutting through the static… This was what I got. ​ “Hey Bill. I know you’re probably pretty confused by all this. Trust me, I was too. But you and I both know that I wouldn’t be doing this if it didn’t make sense. Use your drones. Take a good hard look into the future of these timelines. Not the immediate future. Give it a hundred, two hundred years… Just look. That’s all I’m asking you. Look.” ​ The message paused there. I opened the settings of the drone. I had nothing to lose by looking, right? So I sent it forward. ​ First by one hundred years. Then by two hundred… Then by three hundred… And I saw it all… ​ A new world. A united world on the other side of the generations of hardship wrought by the bugs. Technology taking one step back, followed by one incredible leap forward. A new renaissance… One I can’t even begin to describe. ​ I looked through the centuries with awe, wanting to explore the paradise I saw before me… God, I could’ve lost hours looking into the future… But what I saw was enough. I tried looking for the same results in other futures. But they weren’t there. ​ Humanity wouldn’t thrive the way it would after the hardship of the Bugs… Not under any other circumstance… Nothing would change. We would remain the same miserable species for the rest of our tragic existence… Nothing would change unless we let it… The more I looked, the more I understood… And almost as if on cue, the message on the radio began again. Of course it was on cue. Future me would’ve known what past me would do… ​ “If you’ve seen what I’ve seen… Then there’s a way forward. There’s a man, Dr. Gene Pedri. You’ll find what you need there. They grow best in water, so… You’ll figure it out. You know what has to be done. If I’m right, most versions of you will do it. Some of you will even succeed… Others will of course fail. But that’s okay. You and I both know we can’t save every future… But we’ll save enough of them. Isn’t that worth it?” ​ It was. It is. ​ That leaves me here. ​ Like I said before. You’ve all just dodged a bullet. I’m not going to prevent what’s coming. Not this time. My job is to save the world and that’s just what I intend to do. I’ve found the path to a better future. I’ve found the world humanity deserves! I’m going to break us out of the endless stagnation of our existence. The road will be hard but it will be worth it. Nobody ever made an omelet without breaking a few eggs. I realize that my former employers aren't going to see it that way, though. I fabricated some updates and bogus reports to throw them off my trail for a little while. But chances are, they'll catch on soon if they haven't already. I'm on borrowed time, as it were. But I'm not afraid. I already know how this is going to end. So, if you’re reading this then one of two things is going to happen. ​ One: My former employers will kill me, and stop me from doing what I have to do… And the world you know won’t change. Life will just continue as it was and if you’re living in that world, I’m sorry. I can’t save every future. You’ll be fine, probably live a nice life and all that but when the future comes, your grandchildren will never have it any better than you did. Life will stagnate until it finally ends. ​ Two: I’ll succeed and if I do, I’m sorry. You’re probably going to die because of what I’ve done… But I don’t regret it. Not one bit. ​ What’s at stake here is worth it. The future is worth it and I can’t pretend it isn’t. Some people are going to call me a monster. That’s fine. I don’t care. But I’ve seen what’s coming… And it’s worth the price we’ll pay. It’s worth it. submitted by /u/HeadOfSpectre to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

I heard some guy on the news talk shit about the stock I love so much, so I decided to use my weaponized autism to look into the company he represents and try to understand their motives for talking shit. Spoiler: We found some shit. Let's connect some dots: Anthony Chukumba works for Loop Capital. https://www.loopcapital.com/location-chicago-il Loop capital has an alias called JLC Infrastructures https://www.dnb.com/business-directory/company-profiles.mje-loop_capital_partners_llc.9d5b4eca46e974b0edeb513b74b06ac4.html ​ JLC has a form D/A for $342,121,212 from 8 partners, listing Credit Suisse Securities (USA) LLC as "Sales Compensation" and "Earvin Johnson" listed as "Managing Partner of the Investment Advisor" https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/0001713119/000101297519000672/xslFormDX01/primary_doc.xml MJE-Loop Capital Partners LLC is also listed. https://jlcinfra.com/index.php/team/ Turns out Earvin Johnson is THE Magic Johnson. MJE = Magic Johnson Enterprises. I guess JLC = Johnson Loop Capital. ​ After Googling various terms with JLC and the like, I found: Academy Sports and Outdoors, Inc Which lists Gamestop as a competitor. And has previous Gamestop board of directors (The ones RC kicked out) listed as board of directors. James “J.K.” Symancyk, 48, brings more than 25 years of executive leadership and operational experience in the retail and consumer products industries. He has served as President and CEO of PetSmart, Inc. since 2018. Mr. Symancyk previously served as President and CEO of Academy Sports & Outdoors, Inc., a retail and ecommerce sporting goods chain, from 2015 to 2018. Prior to that, he held leadership roles of increasingly responsibility at Meijer, Inc., a regional supercenter chain store, including as President; COO; and EVP, Merchandising & Marketing. He began his career at Sam’s Club, where he served as Divisional Merchandise Manager, among other roles. His current board memberships include Petsmart and Chewy, Inc., and previously Academy Sports & Outdoors. Mr. Symancyk holds a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Arkansas. Mr. Symancyk has been appointed a member of the Compensation Committee. William (Bill) S. Simon has served as a member of the board of managers of New Academy Holding Company, LLC since September 2016 and as a member of the board of directors of Academy Sports and Outdoors, Inc. since June 2020. Mr. Simon has also served on the board of directors of Darden Restaurants Inc. since July 2012, Chico’s FAS, Inc. since July 2016 and GameStop Corp. since March 2020. He served on the board of directors of Agrium Inc. from February 2016 to May 2017 and on the board of directors of Anixter International Inc. from March 2019 to June 2020. Mr. Simon was the President and CEO of Walmart U.S. from 2010 to 2014, and previously was appointed the COO of Walmart U.S. in 2007. Prior to joining Walmart, Mr. Simon held several senior positions at Brinker International, Diageo, Cadbury-Schweppes, PepsiCo and source: https://www.globenewswire.com/en/news-release/2020/03/09/1997507/0/en/GameStop-Appoints-Reginald-Fils-Aim%C3%A9-William-Simon-and-James-Symancyk-to-Board-of-Directors-and-Enhances-Corporate-Governance-to-Drive-Ongoing-Business-Transformation.html ​ https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/0001817358/000119312520262578/d934024d424b4.htm As per the above sec filing: Competitive Positioning For purposes of comparing our executive compensation against the competitive market, the Compensation Committee reviews and considers the compensation levels and practices of a group of comparable retail companies. In December 2018, the Compensation Committee, with the input of data and analysis from Meridian and the executive management team for compensation (i.e., our Chief Executive Officer, Chief Human Resources Officer and Vice President of Compensation and Benefits), developed and approved the following compensation peer group for purposes of understanding the competitive market: Advance Auto Parts, Inc. GameStop Corp. Ascena Retail Group, Inc. Genesco Inc. AutoZone, Inc. GNC Holdings, Inc. Burlington Stores, Inc. Sally Beauty Holdings, Inc. Caleres, Inc. Tailored Brands, Inc. Carter’s, Inc. The Michaels Companies, Inc. Dick’s Sporting Goods, Inc. Tractor Supply Company DSW Inc. Urban Outfitters, Inc. Foot Locker, Inc. Williams-Sonoma, Inc. The companies in this compensation peer group were selected using the following criteria: • Similar revenue size – 0.4x to 2.5x our last four fiscal quarters’ revenue as of the third quarter of 2018; • Companies primarily in the retail business; and • Similar business model and/or product. This compensation peer group was used by the Compensation Committee during 2019 as a reference for understanding the compensation practices of companies in our industry sector and compensation peer group. To analyze the compensation practices of the companies in our compensation peer group, Meridian gathered data for the peer group companies from public filings (primarily proxy statements). This market data was then used as a reference point for the Compensation Committee to assess our current compensation levels in the course of its deliberations on compensation forms and amounts. The Compensation Committee reviews our compensation peer group at least annually and makes adjustments to its composition as necessary or appropriate, taking into account changes in both our business and the businesses of the companies in the compensation peer group. In December 2019, the Compensation Committee, with the input of data and analysis from Meridian, approved the same compensation peer group for 2020 as described above. https://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2021-03-25-reggie-fils-aime-to-leave-the-gamestop-board ​ Idk this seems like a MAJOR conflict of interest to me. And perhaps that's why RC kicked those two off the board. Looking at the stock itself: https://whalewisdom.com/stock/aso-2 We see ALL the big players are LONG on this stock. Both the SHF and our "loving whales". Citadel, Sussssquahana, Jane Street, BOFA, Morgan Stanley, Goldman, and for some reason Blackrock and Vanguard. ​ https://preview.redd.it/u5higr3ugkm71.png?width=3753&format=png&auto=webp&s=b63becaf2c834d92dddf0f1a57c0f60f77da6672 Zoomed in for easier mobile viewing: https://preview.redd.it/179pmohchkm71.png?width=1145&format=png&auto=webp&s=238b3573fccc63b071e10a83bc3e62440b118b47 MAJOR conflicts of interest arising here. I'm not saying this one stock is the MAIN reason for the shorts on GME, that would be silly. But what I am saying is that it's finally a direct link and connection for a conflict of interest to put sleeper agents on GME's board and run it into the ground and RC probably knew this when he cleaned house. Why BR and Vanguard are on the list, idk. But this isn't even the good part. It's just a treat that was found on the way to the destination. Remember, we're trying to understand WHY Anthony Chukumba of Loop Capital has so much hatred for GME. Back on that track: Remember: Loop Capital is also JLC. Back to this: https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/0001713119/000101297519000672/xslFormDX01/primary_doc.xml ​ Credit Suisse listed as Sales Compensation. As of 11/12/2019, they've sold $342,121,212 worth of what ever this pooled investment fund is. Hiding under the 1940 Investment Company Act to not disclose fuck else about it. ​ https://preview.redd.it/x5c94yifkkm71.png?width=1003&format=png&auto=webp&s=8d839b0847ca4e7a7672b442c4eb4e953d65f036 At the bottom it says "The total amount of Sales Commissions and Finders Fees paid in connection with this offering will be determined at the final closing" This means we have no idea how much money has been paid to Credit Suisse and won't know until the final closing of this offering. And SINCE IT'S AN INDEFINITE OFFERING, we will never know. Nice way to hide some shit. There's 8 investors as of 2019. They haven't filed shit since then on this. I wonder who these 8 investors are? Here's an ADV filed July 2021 https://sec.report/AdviserInfo/Firms/287638/Form-ADV-287638.pdf Here's a list of 10 investors. It's more than likely that our 8 on the previous form are of these 10 on this form. ​ Remember Presidio because it's the main plot twist at the end. ​ And some other easier to read thing pointing to basically the same info: https://investingreview.org/firm/jlc-infrastructure ​ First let's look at the Credit Suisse connection: https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/ovvvjs/calculating_the_size_of_the_hedge_against_credit/ Credit Suisse is receiving an unknown amount of money from Loop Capital on a form D/A using the 1940 Investment Company Act to report as little as possible (nothing) about the transactions. Credit Suisse also has 540k puts against GME. Loop Capital says GME is worth $10 according to Anthony Chukumba who says to "Sell first, ask questions later".. Draw what you will from this. But among the investors in this fund owned by Loop Capital and Magic Johnson, a name stands out. Presidio. Pressssssiiidddiiiiiooooooooo What does Presidio mean? ​ https://preview.redd.it/c32v9jxtnkm71.png?width=845&format=png&auto=webp&s=e3e6ddd9720ef93c5a91793049111eddf28e1e83 A.... fortified military settlement you say? ​ https://preview.redd.it/2eqmisawnkm71.png?width=746&format=png&auto=webp&s=437b4a9c914f8325dd7a15c1b34d99d366a1e5f5 ​ So...... Presidio basically means a fortified military base. Or a.... a CITADEL. ​ https://preview.redd.it/rlxh2xl1okm71.png?width=889&format=png&auto=webp&s=f270fb1615ed3966025ad954c5d4b951e6f6f687 https://preview.redd.it/t1ku8ttunkm71.png?width=743&format=png&auto=webp&s=6a5374ee9ebf3d4a72803a22a526a8957113bd4a Well this could just be a coincidence right? Anyone could call their fund Presidio. For this to be an actual connection, Citadel would have to have some fund called Pres......wait.... https://www.reddit.com/r/Superstonk/comments/p1ofgr/billionaire_boys_club_bbc_episode_10_allinclusive/ ​ https://preview.redd.it/df8lys2ankm71.png?width=1443&format=png&auto=webp&s=cd38cd179e5036d165c80025ed765c2551a2192d Here's the dots so far: LOOP CAPITAL MARKETS = JLC INFRASTRUCTURES = (Magic Johnson Enterprises) MJE LOOP CAPITAL = PRESIDIO = CITADEL. Ergo Loop Capital = Citadel. And that is why Anthony Chukumba says to "Sell first, ask questions later" and that "GME is worth $10". Because Loop Capital = Citadel. Thank you and goodnight. While researching all this, someone sent me: https://twitter.com/DOMOCAPITAL/status/1436070429899337739?t=Pbi3ROIKi2b9fPWwPDiCjw&s=19 Which basically ties everything I just said together. Someone tweet this to Domo. TL;DR Loop Capital and Magic Johnson pays Credit Suisse an unknown amount of money from a 343+ million dollar fund, which has Presidio as an investor. Presidio means a fortress. As does Citadel. Citadel has a Presidio fund with 150 million dollars. Loop Capital = Citadel. Citadel is long on Academy Sports and Outdoors, Inc along with all the other SHF, and potentially had sleeper agents from ASO on GME's board of directors to run it into the ground, which RC probably knew because he kicked those guys off the board. ​ Edit: Presidio Capital Holdings, LLC has no website, no data to find. They are a private fund with no filings. The ONLY mention of them we can find is on the D/A form for the JLC filing listed in the post, and also this page: https://opencorporates.com/companies/us_de/5662023 They have listed an agent address as: 251 LITTLE FALLS DRIVE, WILMINGTON, New Castle, DE, 19808 ​ https://preview.redd.it/ncenticl7lm71.png?width=1296&format=png&auto=webp&s=b27f2cb35695d4bd1db86bcefe4b2cc6bb12e56f ​ Note this page on Citadel: https://opencorporates.com/companies/us_de/3024697 ​ https://preview.redd.it/i3cfhu9m7lm71.png?width=1283&format=png&auto=webp&s=64439adc851f1d9483247d590a7b6b6e6d0ece86 Listing the same address. I submit to the Ape court the above edited evidence and consider the case closed. ​ Edit 2: Can someone confirm this with a video? https://preview.redd.it/o3ng8qh8flm71.png?width=1166&format=png&auto=webp&s=a58a170a90e4e39905053c948a2f67e27fd837a4 Edit 3: Ape sent me a msg saying he thought it was mad money but it was actually "The Exchange" Clip here: https://www.cnbc.com/video/2021/09/09/academy-sports-outdoors-stock-has-more-than-doubled-this-year.html CNBC shilling this shit hard tho. ​ Edit 4: Cramer shilling for ASO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ2Sd2RcAyY ​ Edit 5: Could this be what DFV meant by this? https://twitter.com/i/status/1380143475841249281 and this https://twitter.com/i/status/1383080240520388610 ​ Edit 6: A beautiful ape sent me a message. "More ties back to Citadel, eg Magic + Guggenheim Financial + Chicago Fundamental + Citadel" https://thecafe.org/what-is-magic-johnson-doing-with-these-chicago-investors/ "Former McDonald’s CEO Don Thompson and Guggenheim Managing Partner Andrew Rosenfield are among the 10 or so people backing the effort so far" ***"***Chicago Fundamental co-founders Levoyd Robinson and Brad Couri grew up on opposite ends of Chicago and became close over two decades working together at First Chicago Bank and hedge fund Citadel before founding their firm in 2005. Now it has $1 billion under management." ​ Edit 7: I completely forgot to post this. I had this open in one of the 100 tabs that were open at once. But a kind gentle ape has just sent me a msg which reminded me saying: Did you know that Loop Capital participates in PFOF for order flow and routes customer orders through Citadel? (https://web.archive.org/web/20210709213825/https://www.loopcapital.com/sites/default/files/4Q%202019_LCM%20Rule%20606%20Report_FINAL.pdf) submitted by /u/thabat to r/Superstonk [link] [comments]

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Wiki] On time today! Also, you may want to check today's comment. Please enjoy. ​ Chapter 16 Surprised, James looked at the person that had stepped up behind him, their face obscured by the tinted face-window of the mask covering their face. Even though he had been told that humans frequented the station in a way, he had not expected to actually meet one. “Uhm…hey,” he awkwardly greeted his fellow man, scanning them for any identifying features with his eyes. Apart from their mask they were wearing a plain shirt and jeans. “Hey there! Well, ain’t this a surprise to get to see a friendly face among all them xenos!” the artificially amplified voice rang out again, and the figure waved at him excitedly. It sounded male, although James couldn’t be sure of that. It was hard getting a read on the person without being able to see their face. “They’re not xenos, they’re…” James immediately started, before thinking better of it and just stopping it there, shaking his head. Even though it would probably have been “in-character” for their respective species, he really didn’t want to start a fight with the first human he met outside of their own territory. “Well, anyway,” the person said, clearly trying to gloss over his comment. “My name is William, but I usually go by Will. It’s nice to meet’cha’.” He extended his hand towards him, allowing James to see that his skin seemed to have probably been very well tanned, if it hadn’t been burned to a more unhealthy, red shade right now. “I’m James,” he cordially introduced himself, but instead of grabbing his hand he nodded towards the sinks behind him, seeing as Will had just gotten out of one of the stalls. “Right, my bad,” Will said, pulling back his hand, and walked past him in order to wash his hands. James watched him inquisitively during his mundane task, reflecting on the fact that he was the first of his kind he had met in months. It almost felt nostalgic, even if it was weird admitting that. “By the way, how come you’re not wearing a gasmask-thingamajig?” Will distractedly asked while rinsing off his hands. “Ain’t we supposed to keep them on as long as we’re near xenos?” Biting his lip before he could make another comment on the human’s choice of words, James picked his words carefully, making sure to try and not sound like some sort of elitist while answering. “You mean a breath-filter?” he asked, really wondering how somebody could forget a name as easy as that. “I don’t need one. I’m considered safe, so my situation is a bit different.” “Right,” Will simply replied, making James unsure if he had actually listened to him, and, after drying his hands, once again reached out to James, who firmly shook his hand this time. “Well, it is nice to meet’cha James.” “Likewise,” James replied, not yet sure if that was a lie or not, although it was in a way exciting to meet a human again. For a moment, they looked at each other, James’ reflection staring back at him from the tinted plastic of Will’s mask while he didn’t exactly know what to say now. “So,” the masked man finally spoke back up after things had apparently gotten awkward for him, “You wanna come along and say hi to the guys? First drink’s on me.” He went up with his voice while saying that, implying that he was making a real tempting offer. Even though he didn’t quite know what to make of Will so far, hanging out with some strangers from earth did sound nice, which was weird considering that it wouldn’t usually have been one of his favorite things to do. Was being away from earth having more of an effect on him than he had anticipated? “Actually, I’ve got somebody waiting for me as well,” James said dutifully, really not wanting to make Shida wait any longer than necessary, even if the offer was intriguing. “So, I probably should go back to her. But thank you for the offer.” “Ooooh, here with your lady, are we?” Will commented mockingly and took James’ rejection as a sign that it was time to leave the bathroom now. “Well, I really don’t wanna get in your way if that’s the case. But you two could always join us together.” James followed the masked man towards the door, musing about the suggestion. Maybe he shouldn’t make that decision by himself. “I’m not so sure if that would be a good idea,” he said thoughtfully, as Will held the door open for him. “I’ll have to ask her, though.” “Fair enough,” Will replied, holding the door open for James and indicating for him to go first. James thanked him with a nod as he passed him. It didn’t slip past him that Will was very keen on keeping an eye on him while he traversed the room. If he had to guess, the man was most likely eager to get a good look at this supposed lady that James was returning to now. Deciding to not let it bother him, James quickly returned to his table, climbing on top of it next to Shida, who had apparently already ordered two glasses of water on ice for them. “You sure took your time,” she welcomed him back unceremoniously, taking a sip of the cool fluid, while drops of condensation ran down the side of the glass where she was holding it. “I got held up,” James replied, also picking up his glass, the cold immediately biting into his fingers as he held it. Before he took a sip himself, he lifted the drink to eye height and jokingly asked, “Your treat?” while looking at Shida. “Well, you are already paying for everything else,” she said with a sly smirk back at him. Amused, James finally took a drink. And boy did it feel good. The icy fluid immediately started to cool him down while it ran down his throat, introducing moisture back into his system. “No way,” a familiar amplified voice suddenly rang out behind him, causing both him and Shida to turn and look at its source, just in time to see Will climbing on top of their table. Apparently, he had followed James a bit longer than he had anticipated. Shida looked back and forth between James and the new arrival, her eyes clearly asking, ‘Somebody you know?’ James shrugged in her direction awkwardly before turning his attention to Will. “Anything you still needed, Will?” he asked the man hesitantly. He had wanted to bring the subject up to Shida in a gentler way. After all, she should be prepared for how other humans may react to her, if she was to interact with them. However, the masked figure ignored him, slowly moving towards Shida while keeping his eyes locked on her. Shida looked at Will distrustfully and James really didn’t like the direction in which this situation was heading. Once he had gotten almost uncomfortably close to Shida, making her lean away from the strange, masked man approaching her, Will reached out, grasping at Shida’s ears as if he had to make sure they were actually real by touching them. Shida was having none of it and decidedly moved her head away from his hand, folding back her ears and letting out a sharp hiss with bared teeth in the process. However, James’ reaction was even faster than hers, as he almost instinctively, forcefully grabbed Will’s wrist in mid-air, twisting the man’s arm back in a most likely painful angle while holding it in a tight grip. Will let out a pained grunt, snapping out of his fixation and looking at his assailant surprisedly as he was forced to awkwardly lean backwards in order to avoid further pain from his arm. James just looked back at him, his hand remaining tightly locked around the man’s wrist. “Alright, man, I get it! No touching!” Will finally pressed out between pained breaths, halfheartedly struggling against James’ grip while presumably also trying not to anger him further with any real resistance. Completely unrelated, since she couldn’t have been understanding what the man had been saying, Shida also spoke up now, sounding almost a bit amused with her body language having relaxed again, “I think he got the message.” Looking back and forth between her face and Will’s mask for a second, James promptly let go released his grip, causing Will’ arm to suddenly come loose, making him stumble forward from his awkward position. He caught himself with a hasty step forward and immediately started rubbing his aching wrist with his other hand. James also held up his hand, looking at the appendage as if it had acted of its own accord, even though he knew that not to be true. From outside of his vision, he could hear footsteps approaching quickly. “You okay, Will?” a new amplified voice rang out from beside the table, as what James assumed to be Will’s crewmates rapidly approached them. “Hey, what the hell is your problem?” That second part was probably directed at him. James looked over at the two new arrivals, scaling the side of the table to console their comrade. He wasn’t quite sure if they had seen the spectacle or if Will had waved them over before he climbed on top of the table. To be completely fair, even if James had to admit that he used a lot more force than necessary, the only thing really wounded should’ve been Will’s pride. One of the two humans, the one that had spoken, was smaller than Will and looked and sounded like a very peeved young woman to James, while the other one who had remained silent so far was bigger than Will, yet still smaller than James and had a more calm, calculating aura to them. “Hey, I am talking to you!” the high voice of the woman rang out once more. She had by now made sure that Will most likely really was more embarrassed than he was hurt and now got ready to stamp over towards James. However, she did not get further than one step in his direction, before she was stopped by the taller one of her two companions who grabbed her arm without saying a word. The mask made it hard to see, but James was sure that the person was staring at the sword still fastened to his hips while holding her back. “Calm down Réka,” Will spoke up, as the woman tried to break her arm free from the man’s hold with wild jerks. “To be honest, this was my own fault.” James looked at the man, whom he had apparently not given enough credit as a person, as he had to admit now. “Your fault? What’s that supposed to mean?” the woman called Réka responded unimpressed, still trying to free herself to no avail. “Come off it already. You’re making a scene!” the third person holding her finally said strictly and pulled her in towards him with a single move of their arm, looking her dead in the face before letting go of her, causing Réka to stumble for a second. They weren’t wrong. While most of the patrons hadn’t cared much about James’ and Will’s little struggle, they had most certainly noticed the woman yelling across the entire room. Many unwelcome eyes were on the group of deathworlders now. However, James decided to accept the olive branch that Will had extended to him, and said, “No, she’s right. I should apologize.” He then turned to Will, directly addressing the man as he said, “I overreacted. Sorry, Will.” Will looked back at him unsurely while shaking out his wrist. “Nah, it’s fine. I should’a known better than to go around trying to touch your girl,” he finally replied bashfully and rubbed the back of his head with his healthy hand. Réka still didn’t seem satisfied with that, and lashed out again, “Well, that still is no reason to…” However, she was interrupted again by the taller, still nameless figure, who firmly said, “Just let it go already. He said he’s sorry.” She looked at the man angrily and apparently got ready to argue with him, as Shida reinserted herself into the conversation. “Is everything alright?” she asked, having taken up a supportive stance at James’ side by now. It must have been disconcerting for her to not understand what was being said. Réka looked away from her companion for a moment and was seemingly immediately stunned into silence when her eyes fell on the owner of the new voice in the conversation. Apparently, being hellbent on confronting James, she had not quite registered his company before Her whole demeanor seemed to change in an instant. She stopped in her movement and stiffened up, suddenly standing as tall as she could and pushing her chest forward. Was she afraid? No this was different. “We’re working it out,” he answered Shida in a calming manner, extending one hand to console her by rubbing it’s back along her arm. “Yeah, we’re all good now. All peachy. How about you?” Réka chimed in, now also speaking G.U. and completely changing her tune from before. She sounded a lot more awkward than confrontational now and eagerly tried to wave Shida’s question off. James wondered if she actually realized what she had just said. Shida understandably didn’t seem convinced. “I guess I might as well introduce us,” James said to Shida, before switching back to English while addressing the human group. “Maybe, let’s start this again. My name is James Aldwin and this is Petty Officer Shida of the G.E.S.-32. And just to get this out of the way: Yes, she is a cat-girl. A myiat from Dunnima to be precise. Let’s not be weird about this.” To his surprise, it was the yet unnamed person who responded instead of Will. “I am Ortle Berezi,“ the man introduced himself putting his hand on his chest. Then pointing at each of his companions, he continued the introductions, “And these two are Will Jones and Réka Farkas. Sorry about the misunderstanding.” The man sounded calculated and formidable and his body language oozed confidence; clearly someone who knew exactly what he was doing. “No bad blood, right James?” Will chimed in and James nodded agreeingly. Réka didn’t further acknowledge the introductions, instead making a step towards Shida, before asking, “So, are you two here together?” in G.U. While asking, she leaned her head in even closer towards Shida and her tone was one that was trying very hard to sound natural. Form the over-all reactions, she seemed to be the only one speaking it, at least on a conversational level. James had to give it to her, she was getting straight to the point and honestly, he could respect that. He decided that Shida would probably be occupied with that for a bit and returned his attention to the two men in front of him. It would be tiring to keep up a conversation in two separate languages anyway. Will had a relieved aura around him. His shoulders started to relax, and his arms hung almost limp down his sides. Apparently, he was just glad that this whole thing was resolved. James really should’ve given him more credit earlier. Ortle on the other hand didn’t open up like that, still seemingly wary of the situation, if only a little bit. With a nod towards James’ hip, he spoke back up, “No offence, but you seem a bit young to be a Captain.” Will turned his head towards his companion confusedly. So apparently, unlike James and Ortle had, he hadn’t recognized the sword. James nodded, pulling the sheathed sword out of the belt loop and holding it up. “That’s cause I’m not,” he confirmed the man’s suspicion while showing off the polished weapon. “This is nothing but a souvenir I will have to get back to some sort of embassy soon. Actually, I just picked it up.” Will looked at the sword, probably with big eyes, even if they weren’t visible through the mask. Ortle on the other hand seemingly tried to keep eye-contact with James, which also was rendered utterly useless by the tinted plastic. He then nodded, seemingly accepting James’ explanation for now. James quickly secured the sword again. “So, what brings you guys to the station?” he asked, as the conversation seemed to have come to a grinding halt. Behind him, he could tidbits of the conversation the two women were having. At least Réka seemed to be a lot more communicative about her desire to touch Shida’s ears than Will had been. It didn’t seem to win her points with the feline though. “Well, we were here on som’ business, but we’re basically already leaving again,” Will answered with a casual shrug. James guessed that he probably had left out what “some business” was exactly on purpose. “This is our last day here, so it’s pretty lucky that we ran into each other. Wha‘bout you?” James scoffed. “I’ll leave it to you to decide how lucky our encounter was,” he replied casually. “We’re just here on a pitstop, before taking on the next great expanse.” Will cocked his head at that, but Ortle seemed to understand. “G.E.S…You’re serving on an expedition ship, right?” he asked. “Sure do,” James answered nodding. Then he reached up with his left hand, rubbing his neck and corrected, “Well, actually, I’m just working. She’s serving.” With that he nodded towards Shida. From what he could hear of her talk, he wasn’t quite sure if she was expertly ignoring Réka’s advances or if she was actually oblivious to them. However, as he had reached up earlier, Will seemed to have spotted something. With a nervous undertone, he inquired, “Say, James, what’s that there on your arm?” He pointed at the area in question, and James looked down at it. “Scratches,” he replied dryly while holding up his scarred forearm so Will could take a better look at it. Will let out a nervous chuckle. “That…that wasn’t her, was it?” he asked further while pointing at Shida. James now understood his nervousness. “’Course it was,” he said and thought about it for a moment, before adding, “I won’t claim that that was my goal earlier, but I guess what I did is one of the better fates your arm could’ve suffered. Funny how things work out sometimes.” Apparently, Réka had also heard that exchange, turning to see what it was they were talking about. Shida immediately took the opportunity to escape the one-on-one conversation, stepping up next to James and rubbing up against him, chuffing softly as she did. As always, James repeated the sound back at her and he could swear that he could almost hear Réka sulking under her mask. “So, what are you guys talking about?” Shida asked, eager to get a new conversation going before the old one could pick back up. “You, ripping up my arm,” James soberly explained, seeing Réka’s head shift, which presumably meant she was also looking at his arm now. “For the record, that was your fault,” Shida stated sardonically, poking against his shoulder with one finger. “That’s not what you said back then,” James countered, looking at her over his shoulder. “No, it’s what you said,” Shida responded back. “And I like your version better.” Of course, the only one that seemed to understand their little exchange was Réka and her two crewmates could only look at her for translation as they witnessed the strange display of affection without context. She gave the gist of it back to them, not seeming too enthusiastic about recounting what she heard. Ortle and Will exchanged obscured looks with each other, before Will apparently decided to just accept the state of things between his new acquaintances. “So, if you’re just here on transit, what’re you goin’ to do for your time here?” he asked, supporting with a gesture, since they couldn’t see his face. James shrugged. “Rest and relax, I guess,” he gave back. For a moment, he thought about whether or not he should tell them about the meeting with the leader-supreme he had been roped into, but he decided against it. That would open a whole other can of worms. “We’re actually looking for a place to stay right now.” This seemed to take Ortle by surprise. “Aren’t you getting rooms provided by your Commanders?” the stoic man asked inquisitively. James sheepishly looked at Shida, who of course was once again shut out of the conversation by the language barrier, but still clung to his shoulder for the moment. Of course, they had their very own, classified reasons why they needed a separate accommodation. However, the alleged reason they were doing so wasn’t exactly all show either. “We’re looking for something a bit more…cozy,” he admitted with a telling look towards the group of humans. “Away from the co-workers, you know?” He had no idea what any of the people in front of him looked like, and their reactions were of course hidden from his eyes. However, with his current understanding of each of them, his mind did the emoting for them. Will’s face was most likely morphed into a dirty grin by now, and he probably raised a single eyebrow as he cocked his head side and leaned forwards towards James. James imagined Ortle would slightly lift his eyebrows, mimicking the slight upward motion of his head, and otherwise not acknowledge what had just been said. And Réka would probably try to not let it show that she would much rather not have gotten that information. Her shoulders slumped down and a turn of her head told him that she was the only one not directly looking at him anymore. “Actually, we just wanted to take a short break here, before we kept on looking for a fitting place,” James finished his explanation. To his surprise, Will let out a sly laugh at that, reminding James very much of a shady businessman. “Looking? Well, you needn’t look no more friend!” he said, stepping up to James and reaching up to put a hand on his shoulder that wasn’t currently occupied. “For your friend Will has the solution for you and your ladyfriend!” James and Shida both looked at him bemusedly, as he tapped James’ shoulder twice, before he kept talking. “Now, here’s what we’re goin’ to do,” the man said in an exaggerated half-whisper, as if he was trying to keep whatever he was going to say secret and was very bad at it. “You come get out of here with us, we take one of them suspension rails up there, and we drive it ‘til we reach the 96­­th district. There we get out, and you come with us to a place called ‘Roossh’Gaack Hive’.” James had to but in at that point, looking at Will bewilderedly. “Wait, did you say ‘Hive’?” he asked. Will raised his free hand and waved his open palm back and forth as a stopping gesture. “Now I know what that sounds like, but hear me out,” he said in a conciliatory tone. “Yes, they’re a hive. Them buggers come from a deathworld, just like us, and best thing I can compare them to is termites, even if they look nothing like ‘em. Anyway, due to their ‘special needs’ they didn’t just set up an embassy on the station, but an entire hive, attached facilities and all, and that includes hotel-like accommodations. That’s where we’re currently staying. And I know, we humans kind of have this whole thing about swarms and hive-creatures and stuff, but leave those back on earth! These guys ain’t about consuming or assimilating, they’re just all about working. For them, working is their life and them buggers are super happy with that.” Slowly, James started to get behind what he was saying. “So, we’ll get class A service there, because caring for their guests is literally just ‘what they do’ is what you’re saying?” he concluded. Will eagerly nodded. “Anything that helps the hive,” he said while waving his arm around again. “And happy guests mean more guests means more money for the hive.” James thought about that for a moment, before turning to Shida and quickly giving her the rundown of Will’s suggestion. While he talked to her in a hushed tone, Réka spoke up. “We discovered them during our first stay here on accident,” she explained. “There was some big event going on back then and pretty much every room was sold out. But apparently, not even a temporary housing crisis could convince most people to check in there. We were so blown away that we stay there every time we’re on the station.” Will nodded and eagerly continued her explanation, “Which is also why them buggers love humans. Apparently, people who actually get desperate enough to not really give a shit where they’re staying have been a godsend for them. And when humans get good service, they usually come back.” During their explanation, James got done relating the information to Shida. From her reaction it seemed like she felt a very similar way about this as he did: Weirded out yet intrigued. Even Ortle nodded now while folding his arms. “The rooms are clean, the service is exceptional, and the price is honestly laughable, so make sure to leave a generous tip when you go there,” he summarized. That did sound pretty good. “Well, if you’re going there anyway, I guess we should check it out at least,” he said. Ortle pulled out a small device out of his pocket that James identified as a phone, taking a quick glance at its screen. “Good timing,” he said. “We should probably be going relatively soon anyway. A few minutes earlier won’t hurt. Finish your drinks and we can get going right away.” The decision seemed to have been made. James and Shida quickly emptied their glasses and within a minute’s time the group was ready to embark. On a weird level, it was fascinating how quickly a group of humans plus one myiat seemed to travel when compared to the usual speed people on the station seemed to be going. James and Shida had gotten so used to adapting to the general speed of traffic on the G.E.S. that they almost had trouble keeping up with the steady pace of the human crew. Quickly they had reached one of the many platforms for the suspension railway that seemed to form a big part of the public transport on the G.C.S. Surprising Shida especially, it turned out that its use was completely free for everyone on the station. The ride was fairly eventless, as there seemed to be an unspoken rule of keeping as quiet as possible while the ‘train’ was moving, so James and Shida spent their time looking down on the hustle and bustle below as the station flew by them at a pretty decent speed. James could feel jealous glares on him from two of their three new companions, since in order to look out of the window Shida was leaning over him to such a degree that she was basically laying across his legs. He was pretty relieved when they had reached their destination and got off, quickly making their way to the hive-complex of the Roossh’Gaack. It was pretty easy to see which of the areas seemed to be inhabited by the representatives of the hive-forming civilization, as the architecture of their buildings seemed quite different from the surrounding structures. The complex covered a large area, which was understandable seeing as it apparently accommodated everything an entire hive would need. Also, while the structures would have most likely been stacked on top of each other were they built on a planet’s surface, the logistics of a space station required building wide instead of high. Maybe due to those constrictions, doors had not been implemented into the walls of rooms, but into their ceilings instead, so one could traverse the entire complex from on top of it, most likely entering the rooms via stairs. Or maybe that was just how these people build their houses. From a distance, James could already see the forms of what he assumed to be some Roossh’Gaack workers scuttling about on the structure. Killing time with a bit of small-talk, the group entered the complex via a flight of stairs leading onto the roof, where the ground was covered with many colored lines leading off into the distance. Every few meters, the lines were labeled with words of the same color. The descriptions were only single words, like administration, registration, kitchen, offices, rooms, and so on. “I’m guessing we’re probably heading towards registration?” James said looking at the green line on the ground. “Yep, you two can get yourself checked in there,” Will said with his hands behind his back. James nodded and turned towards their companions. “Thank you very much for the tip. We probably should get going then,” he said with a smile and a short bow. “No problem,” Will responded and formed the okay-sign with his fingers. “We’ll be packing for a bit now, so if you want to hang out a bit once you’re all set, you can probably find us,” Réka said with a wave. Ortle merely uttered, “Take care, you two.” Then the two groups parted ways again, James and Shida waving after the human crew for a moment. Only Réka turned around once again, quickly yelling, “And success to you, Shida!” in Galactic Uniform. “Likewise!” Shida gave back. Then she turned towards James. “Well, this has been an experience,” she said with a bemused look on her face. “So is this a normal thing on earth? You almost break a guy’s arm and get hotel recommendations from him only a few minutes later?” “Well it isn’t unusual. Depends a bit on what circles you move in,” James gave back with a shrug. He had certainly been in more severe altercations before that had ended with him and the other side on good terms later. But he had also made enemies over even smaller things. “Interesting,” Shida said and started to move along the green line on the ground, prompting James to follow her. “By the way, while we’re on that topic: Can I get less of the ‘I leave Shida alone to talk to some girl trying to hit on her’-James and more of the ‘I will break your arm if you so much as try to touch Shida’-James?” James smacked his lips while thinking back to that moment embarrassedly. “Do you actually want that?” he asked semi-serious while suppressing the urge to hide his face in his hand. “It was a welcome change of pace,” Shida replied, leaning her head closer towards him. “What even got into you there? You’re not usually a physical confrontation kind of guy.” James let out a strained breath. “It’s actually an old habit of mine. A bad one,” he explained and took a long look at his right hand. “One I have gotten mostly rid of at this point.” “Yeah, no, I’ve never seen you do something like that before,” Shida countered seriously while giving him a strict look.” James let out an empty laugh. “Well, nobody has tried to get physical in the time we’ve known each other. At least not when I was around,” he said tonelessly. “Like I said, I’ve mostly gotten rid of it.” Shida leaned in even closer, narrowing her eyes and sneering at him. “That almost sounds like you were a real troublemaker back in the day,” she mused, her tail waving around in the air. “Now that is a story I need to hear.” This time, James actually chuckled. “The list of stories I need to tell tonight just keeps getting longer,” he commented. Shida looked at him confusedly. Right, she didn’t know that yet. “Oh yeah,” James said awkwardly and scratched his cheek. “I kinda promised the others that we’d meet for a night of hanging out and talking later. Although I guess if you don’t want to come, I can’t force you.” He could tell that Shida acted a lot more annoyed than she actually was, as she replied, “Well great, now I have to come. If you’re actually telling stories about you actually getting into trouble, I wouldn’t wanna miss that.” James could only sigh at that. Then he exhorted, “But if you want to hear my stories, you better be willing to tell some as well. There are some questions I also still have.” The unease at that proposition was written all over her face. However, to his surprise, that was the extend of her protest. He had expected more pushback. Could it be that she also felt that it was time to share these things with each other, even if she didn’t very much like the idea? “Oh well,” she said instead of arguing, turning back towards the direction they were heading. “As long as you’re buying the hits.” Hits? What hits? Well, it probably just meant that he would be paying her tab. After their talk they quickly reached the registration area, entering it through an automatic trap door that opened up for them as they neared. James looked around the room. It was basically just a box. The walls were lined with counters filled with reading-material, so it probably also functioned as a waiting area of sorts. Decorative plants with thick, brown leaves were also peppered along the walls. And on the side of the room opposite to the stairs there was a counter with what James presumed to be a Roosh’Gaack standing behind it. The only description he had gotten of the insectoids so far was that they looked nothing like termites, which was certainly true of this individual. Height-wise they were about the size of a human, although their bodies were a bit more voluminous over all. Their thorax, which formed the foundation of their body, was wide like a scorpion. Across it went thick, leathery but colorful wings that reminded James of a moth. The wings also denied him vision of their abdomen. The thorax was held up by four strong looking, spiny legs; their tarsi ending in two split claws. The last pair of legs was located right under the base of their head, which was elongated and reached high above the ground, with four pairs of compound eyes at its end, alongside mandibles that were formed almost like sheers. The legs themselves were much longer than their lower counterparts and had evolved into manipulators; their tarsi having morphed into grabbing claws made out of four individually moving parts. The insectoid made a clicking sound and moved its head left to right while looking at the two of them. James looked around the room once more. It was pretty barren. And he didn’t find what he was looking for. “I think you have to get us checked in now,” Shida said, poking him in the arm. James took a deep breath. He could feel his heart start beating in his chest. “I know,” he answered. “I was just looking if there was maybe…you know…a terminal for that or something.” Shida looked around. “Doesn’t look like it. You’ll probably have to talk to them,” she concluded with a nod towards the attendant still patiently waiting behind the counter. “Yeah, I know,” James said briefly. “Just…preparing for it.” On earth he would just digitally check in, having to do nothing but input his data into a computer. He liked that way a lot more than this one. Shida looked at him perplexedly. “You want me to do it maybe?” she asked, as it apparently didn’t seem like James was going to move soon. James looked at her with big eyes. “Please?” he replied in a meek tone, causing Shida to snicker and shake her head. She took the lead, stepping towards the attendant. “The purpose of your appearance?” the worker asked without a greeting or introduction. Apparently just rolling with their briefness, Shida answered, “We were told we could rent a room here.” The attendant once more moved their head erratically, probably getting a more in depth look at the two. “Accommodations for two; for a human and a myiat?” they concluded, waiting for confirmation of their assessment. “That would be great,” Shida answered. The attendant brought their claws downward and James assumed that there must have been some kind of computer under the counter. “The accommodations will require a payment of 21935 U.C. per uniform day. Will that be acceptable?” they inquired with another look at their customers. Shida looked over at James, since he would be handling the payment. “That is acceptable,” James gave back, his heartbeat having calmed down again, now that the source of his anxiety had been taken out of the equation. The attendant reached under the counter and for the second time today James was handed a bio-scanner. “Please confirm your transactions,” the worker asked. James confirmed his identity as well as the amount to be paid. One the device confirmed that everything was proceeding correctly, the attendant moved the bio-scanner over towards Shida. “You will be housed in room 013. Your genetic code will serve as your room’s keys,” they explained. “Service will be available to you at all times of day. The exact nature of services offered can be researched at your room’s terminal for the house computer. We hope you enjoy your stay.” Shida quickly had her genetic make-up scanned as well and then they quickly left the spartan room. The whole procedure was surprisingly simple. On earth, there were usually a lot more questions that came up when checking into a hotel. “See, was that so bad?” Shida teased him as they were climbing out of the trap door back onto the roof. James sighed. “It is never that bad,” he explained annoyedly. “It’s only ever that thought of it that drives me crazy.” Shida shook her head. “I wonder if I will ever get you,” she mused while flouncing alongside him to their new room. Thanks to the colored lines on the ground, the trapdoor with the number 013 wasn’t hard to find, and it opened the second one of them touched its scanner. Together they walked down the stairs into their new domain, and both of them stood stunned for a moment. The room was large, even much larger than their rooms on the G.E.S. James knew that one of the upsides to being a human was that one needed much less room than the usual person, which meant that the cost per square meter of rooms was a lot lower usually than it was on earth. However, Ortle had not lied earlier. That price for this room was indeed laughable. It felt more like an apartment than a hotel room. The high walls as well as the ceiling and the floor were colored in different shades of a golden honey yellow. The furniture all looked surprisingly luxurious and was fitted to human sizes, except for the bed, which was just stupidly oversized. A single, large door was visible in one of the walls, making James think that it probably led to the bathroom. Of course, Shida immediately discarded her suitcase right where she stood and threw herself onto the massive sheets of the bed. James had a very different first reaction. The first thing he did was open his suitcase, take off his assistant and stuff it as deep into the bowels of his laundry as he could. Then he rummaged around for a bit, finally finding what he was looking for after about half a minute and pulling out a whole different device. Turning it on with his fingerprint, his old smartphone immediately connected to the G.C.S.’s network, allowing him full access to all of its functions. It was a good thing earth technology had been made compatible a while ago. Now they could try to spy on him all they wanted, he wouldn’t make it easy on them. The first thing he looked at was the time. It had been quite a while since they had split from the others. Most likely the rooms of the crew had been given out by now. “Well, I guess we can settle in later,” he thought out loud, closing his suitcase back up. “Five more minutes!” Shida complained, rolling around on the bed’s soft fabrics. “We’ve been walking all day!” James shook his head and made his way over towards what he assumed to be the bathroom. “Fine, I need to get ready anyway,” he said while the big door opened in front of him. He was pretty amazed. The bathroom was colored in a deep, royal blue. Half of it looked pretty normal, with a sink, a toiled and the usual sanitary unit he was used to, even if this one looked a bit fancier. However, the other half of the room was completely taken up by what looked almost like a pool to James, although he assumed that it was merely a bathtub designed for people much larger than himself. The sight alone brought up all kinds of ideas in his head, but he drove them away. Leaning his head out of the door one last time before closing it, he yelled out, “But after that, it’s time to pick up the gang!” submitted by /u/Lanzen_Jars to r/HFY [link] [comments]

Fall 2019 Edition’s Thread Darwin’s Game Banjo’s Perspective Drop It Kaname Sudou is your average high-school student, toiling away in life with his best buds. One day, however, he receives a mysterious invitation to use an app on his smart phone, and, upon accepting, finds himself thrust into an augmented reality where superpowers exist, riches implode, and death glooms overhead. Coined Darwin’s Game, this survival-of-the-fittest situation demands everything – but supplies almost nothing in return. The first episode is a double-feature, but it only serves to stab home the point that this anime has a difficult time outrunning its tired premises and eye-rolling events. Motivations are bland. Outcomes have little consequential value. Themes take a backseat to uninteresting dialogue. Alongside the lackluster duels and the inevitable overseers, the storytelling has thus far been a keen recipe for trite dealings. A lack of meta details and necessary explanations seek to create an air of mystery to the whole debacle, yet this direction exacerbates the show’s problems. I.e., this no knowledge is no good, for the implausibility and the irrationality of the decisions and the confrontations equates to suspended disbelief that drags down the evolution of its natural selection. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Cryzzalis: Drop It “I wasn’t too hopeful going into the show, death game shows are generally hard to pull off due to the large cast and limited run time. Darwin’s Game attempts to tackle this issue by focusing on only a few characters. Normally you’d think that’s a good thing, but if anything it’s to the shows detriment in this case, as there’s not a single interesting character in the show. Thus far out of all the named characters, only two of them has been developed to the point where I can even call them one-dimensional. And I’d be damned if they’re not some impressively one-dimensional characters. We're stuck with an extremely bland insert protagonist, wiith the few traits he has actually affecting his character negatively and a heroine who looks good, but out of place in this show. Speaking of visuals, the fight choreography is really boring and the animation and art style is nothing special at all so we end up with mediocrity in that regard. If I am to be honest, the show has so many faults, I can begin to cover them all and it'd only be worth watching as a hate watch or as popcorn material with your mates. There's probably a good 20-30 shows better than Darwin's Game from this season, so just don't watch i unless you're really bored.” Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu na! (English Title: Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!) Banjo’s Perspective Must Watch It Anime is life. At least, that seems to be the case for Midori Asakusa of Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu na!. She dreams of making anime, drawing out sketches and ideas based on her own favorite elements and the avant-garde city where she lives. With help from her money-hungry best friend Sayaka Kanamori and their newfound comrade Tsubame Mizusaki, these three ladies embark on a journey to truly define art, animation, and ultimately anime. And they certainly go the distance. Above anything else, this anime personifies its namesake, creating elaborate sequences, stylized imaginings, and incredible moments that shape it into a juggernaut of visual awe. The fun musical choices complement the passion therein, yet it’s the self-made sound-effects from the voice actresses themselves that instill a personalized feel into the engaging wonders. To put devil’s advocate in motion, a rather loose plot and possible pigeonholing for the main trio raise the tiniest of flags. Nevertheless, to return the other way, its overall potential is clearly there anyway as the open-ended nature of its storytelling and the grounded realism of the characters prove it has inherent writing chops. With meta inclusions of drawing techniques and the fact that the comedic pieces land upright, and this anime becomes worthy of several high-fives. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/meiiro: Must Watch It “From first glance, “Keep Your Hands Off Of Eizouken!” may look like your typical high school girl comedy. However, it’s much more than that; Eizouken is a quirky, imaginative look into the world of animation and people following their passions. It follows three distinctly different girls, each with their own fleshed out personalities and aspirations, on their journey to creating anime together. The most enjoyable thing about Eizouken is that it’s never afraid to blur reality and fiction together. Each brainstorming session transforms into a fantastical journey. Figuring out how a windmill moves turns into a dynamic animation sequence with explosions and all new inventions. Even more than its random ventures into fantasy, the setting of Eizouken is its own breed of interesting. A faculty room in a pool, a clock on a school the students can’t even see- there’s so much to unpack, and it never gets boring. These settings only serve to enhance the true stars, the characters. The dynamic between the main trio is nothing short of amazing; each personality is designed to compliment and contrast the other. More than that, the cast is already fleshed out and realistic; there’s no such thing as being two-dimensional from the very get-go. Overall, Eizouken is an enjoyable watch, down-to-earth in plot and outside the box in presentation. Many have described it to be in the same genre as Shirobako - a sincere love letter to anime. If there’s one show you don’t want to miss this season, it’s Eizouken. ID: Invaded Banjo’s Perspective Watch It What do you get when you take the future-crime aspect of Minority Report, the mind-delving craziness of Inception, and the persuasive psychosis of Silence of the Lambs? The answer is ID: Invaded. An original (that is, non-source adaptation) story, this anime has started for itself an intriguing crime thriller in most regards. The show balances its time between the detective work of its central protagonist and the informants who analyze his findings. What transpires, then, is a cool duality whose simultaneous weirdness and realness melds together in a very neat way. Moreover, the anime is keen on exploring the important members of its cast and the wild setting it has created. Intentional parallels across plotlines and the blurring of lines between the “heroes” and the “villains” further pushes the story and the characters to higher levels. The artistic vision for this show isn’t anything too special, so there does exist room for improvement. But this early on, the predictions and discoveries of its identity should hopefully be a satisfying endeavor. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Nazenn: Drop It “With obvious world similarities to Psycho-Pass and an intriguing main character, ID:Invaded had all the pieces needed to be the next big sci-fi crime mystery, but it spends far too much of its runtime focusing on its bloated side cast and repetitive exposition. Any moment we’re not following the MC characters investigations in a criminal’s mindscape, we’re usually stuck sitting in a room listening to generic “investigators” talk at each other, using lifeless dialogue that doesn’t showcase any of their individual personalities. One character will say something, another will repeat it back to them as a question, only for the next character to repeat it again in a different way. If they’re not using techno-babble to explaining the details of the machine in excruciating detail irrelevant to the current drama going on, they’re narrating everything that’s happening on screen to the level of allowing the show to be more of an audiobook. While the MC’s investigations and history are very interesting, they also fall victim to this over-exposition the moment we return to the investigators. It strips away a lot of the mystery when are made to listen rather than watch, having the show tell you what does and doesn’t matter. If the show cut this excess and focused purely on the three interesting characters it would be a different story, but with its current structure it makes it hard to recommend unless you want feel like you’re being talked at for 20 minutes each week.” Infinite Dendrogram Banjo’s Perspective Drop It Sometime in the future, true virtual reality has become a norm for most gamers. Reiji Mukudori, interested in such a place, decides to make his own character within such a VRMMO video game: Infinite Dendrogram. Unlike traditional MMOs, however, this adventure has left excitement behind. The key motif of this story comes from the understood notion that this VR world is organic and alive. Sadly, that’s the extent of the anime, for the unfortunate reality is instead that the surrounding parts are devoid of the same fortitude. The main character, his “maid”, and the supporting cast are largely forgettable. The story beats have been totally ineffective. The attempts at incorporating the gaming side of things are meager at best. It goes on. The anime doesn’t seem up to the challenge of asking – let alone answering – the moral and the societal questions that their literal realistic fantasy entails. Not to mention that, on an artistic front, the show shows weak signs already. When all is said and done, the scope and the impact of this project is not just finite but practically zero. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/porpoiseoflife: Consider It “I can hear the detractors now. Yadda yadda SAO clone yadda yadda loli sidekick yadda yadda kuma yadda yadda drop. What these sweeping generalizations miss is that this show is actually a fun thing to watch. The fight animation has been great, the details of the world are wonderful, and the main characters are nicely done yet without the incessant edgelord mentality that is far too common in the VRMMO subgenre. You know that they are playing a game for the sake of playing a game, without any need for grand stakes or heavy consequences. And oh boy, does that game look like fun. A sandbox environment where the characters can change the game world significantly would be on my top list of things to try out, the concept of fully AI driven NPCs is fascinating, and the little hints about the greater gameworld makes me wish that full-dive technology was a real thing so I could waste my free time playing it. For fans of the VRMMO subgenre, this should be promoted to Watch status. For everyone else, consider this as an alternative to the others languishing in your drop lists.” Ishuzoku Reviewers (English Title: Interspecies Reviewers) Banjo’s Perspective Consider It From humans to elves, demons to beasts, and any other manner of creature in-between, Ishuzoku Reviewers stars a plethora of species-specific humanoids. But it’s not quite that tame. Oh no. In fact, it’s the complete opposite, for this anime focuses on the one inherent quality that drives biology: sex. Stunk, Zel, and Crim make it their mission to critique these sexual encounters, describing their likes and dislikes which culminate in that all-important climactic score. In doing so, the anime thrusts with vigor in different ways. The comedy angle keeps the content lighthearted throughout. The emphasis on being sex-positive aligns with the ecchi genre. And the scenes may as well be deemed pornography for just how much they are willing to depict (especially so in the uncensored version). Ironically enough, though, the diversity within the anime is also its downfall. Catering to everyone and everything means that, amidst the laughs and the sexiness, the weird and the nasty inevitably materialize. Indeed, needing to endure such moments is arguably not justifiable in the long run. If nothing else, the project has some nice production values, and the sex shows no signs of stopping its upward debauchery. So, for now, its final review must wait. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Dagonsnake: Consider It “Ishuzoku Reviewers is certainly a unique show, the entire premise is simple, two guys want to have sex with as many different creatures in their fantasy world as possible, and after they sex up their local brothels, they write a review about their experience with said species, and give it a rating from 1-10. The art is pretty good, and the character design is honestly pretty great from what I've seen so far. Every species has its own unique traits, and no two species that I've seen really look too similar. On top of this, the show probably has one of my favorite OPs of the season, and the ED isn't bad either. The show, as you'd expect, is very fanservice heavy, there are a few scenes that are honestly, just hentai, so if you're not into that, I'd definitely recommend staying away from this show. However, if you're looking for an ecchi heavy show, or you don't mind ecchi, this show may just be for you since the humor in the show itself can honestly be pretty hilarious! However, one final point I unfortunately feel I need to make since the show is an ecchi after all. If you're the type of person who prefers small or medium breasts, you might be somewhat disappointed as thus far the show has been pretty lacking in that regard.” Itai no wa Iya nano de Bougyoryoku ni Kyokufuri Shitai to Omoimasu. (English Title: BOFURI: I Don’t Want to Get Hurt, so I’ll Max Out My Defense.) Banjo’s Perspective Watch It As the other major VRMMO offering of the season, Bofuri follows Maple, a young lady taking part in her first-ever online gaming experience. Like any normal human, she hates pain, and so she stacks points into her defense stat. Then more defense. Then even more defense. So much defense that her build becomes an anomaly worthy of this story. This anime channels cuteness as Maple stumbles into upgrades, skirmishes, and interactions, causing a lot of hilarity and smiles as a result. Her best friend Sally contrasts her both in personality and skills; their buddy duo makes for a wholesome relationship. And the extra side details – such as the variety of enemies, the forums, the admin patches, and so on – solidly round out the underlying game setting. The story and the characters seem content with where they’re at, so they’ll most likely not go anywhere too deep or too compelling, missing out on that worthwhile status. But when the action segments impress and the docile moments delight regardless of those factors, the project stacks its own defense in the form of above-average execution. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Daniel_Is_I: Drop It “Bofuri ticks all the boxes you expect from an isekai/VRMMO show centered on an overpowered protagonist: light comedy, action, cute girls, etc. Unfortunately, ticking boxes is all it does, and it does so to the detriment of any potential it may have offered. The premise can be grasped entirely from the title. Maple, airhead and VRMMO newbie, dumps her points into vitality and stumbles into the most broken build New World Online has ever seen. In theory, this gimmick has merit; an unkillable protagonist with no offense bumbling through combat could be interesting. This gimmick is also immediately undermined when the world starts bending over backwards to make sure Maple never experiences any struggles whatsoever. Virtually all problems are immediately resolved, often through sheer luck. Maple and co. are blessed with plot armor and play by different rules. Perhaps the saddest thing about Bofuri is that nothing about it is egregious (except the game design), but nothing stands out, either. The world is a bog-standard fantasy VRMMO. The comedy is inoffensive, hardly eliciting a chuckle. There have been two strong action sequences, but they're sandwiched between long segments with little of interest happening. It's relaxed, but it's also utterly forgettable and requires no engagement from the viewer. Even worse, it's brainless, and thinking in-depth just makes its flaws stand out more. I can understand why some might enjoy Bofuri, but I see no reason to watch it over the myriad of other shows it's competing with.” Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun (English Title: Toilet-bound Hanako-kun) Banjo’s Perspective Consider It At her school, Nene Yashiro hears about one of the seven mystical wonders haunting their building. She goes to an out-of-the-way bathroom, knocks on the stall, and meets Hanako-kun, the wish-giving spirit who maintains order between their two separate realms. For better or for worse, they now help each other, giving Toilet-bound Hanako-kun its origin. What this show boasts most is a wonderful sense of artistry. Actual animation trends towards the low side, sure, but the shot-for-shot visuals make up for this lack and then some. Vibrant colors. Great use of lighting. Changing styles. Paneled compositions for flair. Nice designs. The anime is definitely one of the best-looking offerings this season. Otherwise, there’s not much else to boast about. Its sense of comedy and cuteness isn’t the greatest. Its “monster-of-the-week” approach has yet to tie in well with a supposed central throughput. And the characters themselves are uninspired. It also has a (strangely enough) unheard of problem in this medium: incorrect audio tuning. More specifically, the gain on the microphones used by the voice actors and actresses is so high, one can hear the humming feedback during quiet scenes (which are surprisingly common), breaking immersion and demonstrating an obvious misstep in execution. Again, however, the art alone prevents the entire project from being flushed down the toilet. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/ZBLongLadder: Must Watch It “If you’ve watched much anime set in high schools, you’ve probably encountered the “Seven Wonders” trope: a set of seven urban legends the students will use to creep each other out. Hanako-kun gives that trope a clever twist, being set in a school where those rumors are true and supernatural beings from the oddly specific and morbid minds of teenagers really do haunt the halls of the school, ranging from the inconvenient to the deadly. The show is a creepy comedy, sort of in the vein of Nightmare Before Christmas, and while it never fails to deliver a (mostly) lighthearted tone and plenty of laughs, it also provides a wonderfully atmospheric setting and plenty of odd and uncanny moments. This is particularly noticeable in the design of the main character, Nene, who manages to be intensely moe while also being clearly a bit unsettling, with her ever-present skull brooch, green-tipped hair, and doll-like eyes that are a bit strange even for an anime character. The characters have great chemistry, particularly between Hanako-kun and Nene, the two leads. The art in particular is excellent, with a subdued pallet and more stylized designs giving the show a storybook-like feel. The show as a whole has an almost otherworldly quality to it, especially in the old building, where most of the apparitions seem to originate. In all, I have been thoroughly enjoying the show, and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes comedy with a dash of creepiness.” Koisuru Asteroid (English Title: Asteroid in Love) Banjo’s Perspective Consider It Mira Konohata has a fondness for space and the galactic. Her love of the above sees her joining her school’s astronomy-turned-Earth-sciences club where she meets a bunch of likeminded girls. As a group, they aim to learn about the stars, the rocks, and the bonds they share sandwiched by these halves. Credit where credit is due, the vibe of the anime vies for realism. Rather than injecting absurdist comedy or over-the-top silliness, the events and the mood at large stay normalized. It isn’t so much flat as it is natural, letting the cute bits and the fun reactions have a subtler delivery. Plus, while the setting is arguably a tad lame, the fluid animation does not go unnoticed for the CGDCT show. However, it’s probably more accurate to call it “CG---" because it has effectively dropped the “DCT”. Despite the premises, where the anime is supposed to be about the study of space and the research into geology, the content often distracts itself. Granted, they work towards fleshing out the characters, so they aren’t completely meaningless, but the reasoning for telling this tale and consequently the flight of this asteroid is flimsy at best. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/SpareUmbrella: Must Watch It “This show is, essentially, a cute girls show, but this time it's an Astronomy/Geology club. There's a diverse cast of characters, cute in their own ways, but not overly saccharine like GochiUsa can be. One of the things that often plagues cute girl shows is the reliance on characters explicitly calling attention to something zany another character has done. Koisuru Asteroid seems to largely avoid this pitfall. It's not what I'd consider laugh out loud funny, but I believe it's trying to balance its more kooky jokes and gags with more endearing character moments sometimes glazed with yuri undertones, and having seen the first 3 episodes, I feel it's done an excellent job of this so far. That's not to say Asteroid doesn't have elements that feel obligatory for shows of this type, episode 2 features a bath-house scene for instance (because of course it does) however even that is used to actually weave dialogue into the show - dialogue directly relevant to both the situation the characters are in and the overall subject matter of the story. Much like Doga Kobo's previous work (New Game! in particular, which has a very similar artstyle to Asteroid) the colour palette is bright and inviting and the girls in general have pretty solid character designs. I think this show is a must-watch not because it's necessarily ground-breaking, but is a very competently written and produced cute girl show in almost every area, and those of us that like that kind of show will definitely enjoy Asteroid.” Kyokou Suiri (English Title: In/Spectre) Banjo’s Perspective Consider It Youkai are the otherworldly beings that beget reverence or peril depending on their alignment. For Kotoko Iwanaga and Kurou Sakuragawa, two seemingly normal people intimately connected to youkai, these beings require their wisdom and their strength (respectively). And for Kyokou Suiri as a whole, these swirling dynamics lead to a peculiar story. Two key elements form the core of this show: Kotoko herself and the infused comedy. Kotoko more or less carries the project. Her rapport with Kurou is fun, her characterization is off-kilter, and her forwardness keeps it all moving. As for the comedy, it upholds the tricky business of coexisting with the drama without ruining it. That’s not an easy feat, so it should be praised to some extent. Beyond these two elements, the rest is mixed. Huge amounts of dialogue are not necessarily a negative, and the exchanges here are by no means laborious. However, it’s a decidedly uneventful task as they (most often Kotoko) just sit down and explain ad nauseum without there being much to care about. Furthermore, the youkai backdrop has been uninteresting, too, and the art, while solid, really only has the character designs going for it. Thus, the current inspection stays nominal. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Groenboys: Watch It “An anime can have many strengths. Production values, characters, directing, story, but Kyouko Suiri strengths lies in the thing that isn't noticeable right away but is as essential as any other aspect of an anime: the dialogue. The characters in the anime are witty, thus the dialogue is witty, but it isn't witty in loud and overwhelming sense. All the remarks are evenly spread out throughout an episode so that the dialogue continues to feel fresh. But the biggest reason why the dialogue is so superb is how everything flows so well. Characters talk for minutes on end but it never gets stale or annoying because of how well their sentences flow. The pace of how the words are spoken is soothing. The banter between the characters, how much they respond to one another and how much information is actually being said is juuuuuust right. I have found myself watching episodes only to hear the ED and going like ‘wait, the episode is already over?’ and that is not a bad thing at all. The reason why I gave this anime a ''Watch It'' and not a ''Must Watch It'' is because 1. the story is good now but I can't say much for later and 2. The anime is very dialogue heavy, so even if the dialogue is great if you like more action in an anime I recommend not checking this out. For everyone else, if you like mysteries and witty characters, absolutely check this anime out.” Nekopara Banjo’s Perspective Consider It In Nekopara, cats are no longer four-legged pets with fur all over their bodies. Rather, they are basically humans with fluffy ears and expressive tails that simply take on the mannerisms of their feline counterparts. And for Chocolo, Vanilla, and the other cat girls, their daily lives are simplistic enough to have few worries, save for a recent development. Per their catlike nature, the anime brands itself as a slice-of-life project with cuteness as its mainstay. The “cats” will climb along buildings, drool at the sight of fish, and chase after inanimate objects. All the while, their cute behavior emerges as they handle regular human activities, work at the confectionary of their household, and bounce their personalities off each other in distinct pairings. Artistically, the designs for the cat girls are varied and fit the motifs of the anime, but the remainder of its visual acumen is passable at best. Thematically, the anime isn’t very concerned with delivering a message. Narratively, the small subplot tries its paw at world building but lacks the interest to make it meaningful. So, characteristically, the anime elicits smiles no doubt, yet whether this shtick uses up its nine lives before the end has become a dire possibility. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/alwayslonesome: Consider It “Ahem… do you know about moe anime? Cute girls and their adorable antics, fluffy atmosphere and expressive animation, all attached to a weekly broadcast of the utmost charm… Do you like shows like that? If so, consider checking out Nekopara! The cutest nekos you’ve ever seen await you there~ Set in a world where sapient catgirls are commonplace, Nekopara’s story loosely follows Minazuki Kashou’s opening of his bakery La Soleil. However, any plot is entirely marginalized in favour of foregrounding the antics of the Minazuki family’s nekos – the moemoe “good stuff” we’re all here for. The ensemble of catgirls includes lovable idiot Chocola, deadpan snarker Vanilla, closet-pervert Cinnamon, among others – archetypes that nobody hasn’t seen before, but still do a respectable job of bouncing off of each other and creating light-hearted comedy. The show’s appeal is greatly enhanced by the good job it does transferring the nekos’ lavishly detailed visual novel designs into animation, with plenty of perky nekomimi and expressive tail wags. For those skeptical of the property’s origins, the TV anime is remarkably ecchi-free and family-friendly, trading off cutting-edge chest-bounciness customization for all-ages wholesomeness. All in all, Nekopara is not a project that’s especially ambitious or exciting, but it successfully capitalizes on the appeal of its source material and does its job as a moe anime very competently. If you are interested in a show that’s fluffier than a catgirl’s ears but doesn’t do much else besides, then joining Kashou and furrends at La Soleil would be a purrfect choice.” Pet Banjo’s Perspective Drop It The psychology of the mind is simultaneously a beautiful and terrifying field. Doubly so for the men of Pet who dive into this dichotomy to manipulate their hapless victims. Hiroki and Tsukasa are two such individuals that do the diving, and, while the anime would like the audience to believe its capabilities, this mess is not very promising. So much of the show is already either misplaced or wrong. The production values, from the consistency of the art to the voice acting, are subpar. The characters desperately wish to be backed by mature writing but come off as ridiculous. And the horror elements do not have a strong enough punch to influence the viewer. If that weren’t bad enough, the anime gets worse. Unnecessary convolution in the storytelling, uninteresting drama, and low entertainment opportunities in general compound the present mess into a catastrophe. There’s almost nothing worth praising in this project, no matter how many “peaks” or “valleys” this pet visits. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/throwaway_zuk: Watch It “Pet is a psychological show, about people with powers to get into other's minds and alter memories. While this has been played out in various shows to different degrees, Pet manages to drive home the feeling of how scary this would actually be, and how it can be exploited. What this show excels in, is the structure it establishes to 'memories', and the rules for 'altering' them, which the characters strictly abide by. This results in clear boundaries of what they can and can't do, with consequences for their actions, as opposed to pulling rabbits out of the hat. As a viewer, we aren't provided with all the details at the start; in fact, we are thrown right into the mix with a confusing first episode. However, as the show goes on, we learn more about the world and the main cast, with enough questions in our mind to keep us intrigued, while also not leaving us confused. The cast features strong characters with unique personalities, whose motives and relationships we slowly learn more about. Technically, the show is solid, with notably crisp animations and sound direction, turning the quality up in key scenes. The OP by TK, and the ED (by Memai SIREN, prod. by TK) are exquisite, living up to his reputation. To summarize, I recommend watching this show for the unique world-building and visualization on the premise of 'altering memories', strong cast, and a mystery which slowly unravels the bigger picture.” Rikei ga Koi ni Ochita no de Shoumei shitemita. (English Title: Science Fell In Love, So I Tried to Prove It) Banjo’s Perspective Must Watch It Ayame Himuro and Shinya Yukimura are scientists dedicated to their craft. But an unforeseen metaphysical variable has entered the equation: love. As scientists, they conclude that the only “true” solution to deciphering their feelings stems from experimentation, with RikeKoi chronicling their scientific venture. Purely a rom-com, this anime has been filled with romance and comedy aplenty. Their different hypotheses lead to heart skips, hilarity, and huge amounts of enjoyment as the two lovebirds realize their connection among the misguided ideas. Better yet, the college setting enwraps the project in a refreshing sense of maturity, and the theme on what exactly is love receives two thumbs-up. And the supporting cast – the regular lady, the love “guru”, the woman who stirs the pot – round out the group and supply their own romantic and comedic edge for increased fun. The artistry isn’t the most spectacular around, but its changes to match for laughs or for emotions are duly noted. And yes, perhaps their formulations are not perfect science per se, but it’s science-y enough (with or without the bear-professor education) to don those touted lab coats. All in all, this lovely project has proven itself from the get-go. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/Taiboss: Consider It “Remember Steins;Gate? Of course you do, change of question: Remember the early part of Steins;Gate? The part before all that plot bruhaha, where the most exciting thing you got was Okabe and Kurisu banter, in which you decided those two were the best ship ever? Well, here's an anime that is basically that, but in explicit and sadly also in worse. The main premise of Rikei is easily explained: A male and a female scientist like each other very much, but having never watched educational television as a child, never learned to understand their own emotions. As such, once the topic arises, they go full-on Hollywood scientist and seek to prove their mutual love in all kind of scientific and mathematical ways. All this is commented on by another scientist, the audience surrogate/straight man/best girl, who actually is a normal human being and therefore able to show how even in-universe, the main couple‘s behaviour is not normal. Now, on paper, this all sounds very nice, but it quickly runs into trouble: The characters, officially highly-educated scientists, too often behave like total idiots in topics they should understand, asking questions they should know the answer too and taking too long to come up with an obvious solutions. Also, the science often feel much more arm chairy than if it was written by an actual scientist. In short, this is a must-watch for romance lovers, but everyone less into romance, or maybe even interested due to the S;G parallels, should prepare to groan way too often.” Runway de Waratte (English Title: Smile Down the Runway) Banjo’s Perspective Consider It The medium of anime covers a wide range of topics, and Runway de Waratte walks onto this spectrum by highlighting a topic that is foreign to much of the population: professional fashion. Chiyuki Fujito is an aspiring model, Ikuta Tsumura is an aspiring designer, and the two together seek to become the stars they know they can be. On the one hand, the anime has created an interesting project. The fashion premise, as denoted above, already acts as a lure for the viewer, but its steps to curate themes on adversity help with its writing basis. Hardships faced, perseverance needed. Common threads that the main characters struggle with in their tough jobs. Speaking of, Chiyuki and Ikuta are a nice duo, two sides of the same coin that have their own parts to play yet whose intertwined stories strike a solid balance. On the other hand, the project showcases some cracks. Parts of the drama can feel overblown when harsh actions and loud reactions interfere with the overall seriousness of the story at hand. Oddly as well, the music direction, selections, and timings are often overbearing, clouding its scenes with more sound to enact emotional effect at the cost of audience distraction. But with a clear runway to follow and primed arcs to unfold, this one may very well be smiling come the season’s end. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/MapoTofuMan: Must Watch It “In a season that has everything from beloved sequels to a VRMMO CGDCT and to the tales of a wish-granting toilet ghost, a seemingly boring show with runway modeling as the theme was bound to fly under most people's radar. And unjustifiably so - taking Smile on the Runway's more intense moments into account, it should be able to hold its own against battle shounens when it comes to keeping you glued to the screen. The show follows the journey of Tsumura, an aspiring clothes designer, and Chiyuki, an aspiring runway model, both of whom could never go past the "aspiring" stage until they met each other due to life's circumstances - Tsumura has to choose supporting his large family over getting into designer school, while Chiyuki is half a head shorter than the acceptable height for professional models. Overall, Smile on the Runway looks like it's shaping up to be a nicely balanced slice of life drama with a basic but well-executed premise, more than passable technical aspects, and last but definitely not least for this kind of show - great characters. If you think your seasonal roster could use another slice of life show, then I highly recommend giving it a shot.” Somali to Mori no Kamisama (English Title: Somali and the Forest Spirit) Banjo’s Perspective Must Watch It In a fictious land teeming with a multitude of environments and strange creatures, Golem is an ancient, sentient robot who oversees his esoteric forest. One day, he spots not a bunny or a wolf but instead a human child named Somali, seemingly abandoned and without hope. Humans no longer exist in this land, so Golem takes it upon himself to find them, to bring Somali back home, beginning the amazing journey of Somali to Mori no Kamisama Each aspect of this project has been nothing less than great thus far. The touching story of this “father” and “daughter” evokes themes of family, time, and life. Beautiful artistry paints the landscapes with deft skill and gorgeous detail. Golem and Somali are sound characters insofar as Golem learns about emotions and Somali grows up from the world around her. Fantastic music allows the weight of the scenes to shine. And the adorableness, the wholesomeness, and the sincerity throughout grant leagues of enjoyment. In total, the spirit and the execution of this anime is as grand as it can be right now, making this show absolutely one of the best of the best this season. Another Perspective, courtesy of /u/ErinaHartwick: Watch It "Somali to Mori no Kamisama is a quaint Iyashikei show that centers on Somali, a human child who lives in a fantastical society where humans have been mostly wiped out or are sought after as meals, and Golem, her unlikely father figure. If I could pinpoint the two things that make the show interesting, its that Somali is as cute as they come and her relationship with Golem is unique and heart-warming. Three episodes in and the show hasn't failed to capitalise on Somali’s fascination with the eccentricity of every settlement they visit, often leading to misadventures. Somali is cute in most scenes she’s in and dazzles the audience with her boundless curiosity and adoration of her father figure, which makes way for some unique father-daughter scenes that’s just interesting to see, to say the least. While they could have made Somali just a kid who only chases things, throws a fit and does nothing else and be done with it, we instead get a child who loves to support her father and tries to help him, as we watch her father fumble bluntly in his effort to care for Somali. This dynamic is honestly one of the selling points of the show, and if you like seeing the charming (mis)adventures of a curious father daughter duo with a relaxing fantastical setting as a background, Somali to Mori no Kamisama is the show for you.” submitted by /u/BanjoTheBear to r/anime [link] [comments]

Ten years ago, I pulled my wife’s scorched, lifeless body out of a Florida swimming pool. We had only been married for three days. You read that right. Three days. I wish the story didn’t start there, but it does. Avery Jones was my soulmate—she was funny, spunky, and cute as hell. I was so deeply, ridiculously in love with her and for good reason. She was way out of my league, but somehow, she liked me enough to marry me. After six months of dating and another six months of engagement, we got married in a humble chapel in the Wasatch Mountains just outside of Salt Lake City. The next day, we flew out for a ten-day honeymoon at a beachfront resort in Fort Lauderdale—a wedding gift from my parents. On our second day there, while laying out on the beach, gnarly clouds blew in, accompanied by the heaviest rain I had ever seen. We laughed at our luck, packed up quickly, and ran with the rest of the beach-and-pool-goers towards the hotel. “Come this way,” Avery said, pulling me down a narrow stone path through the landscape to a secluded cave installation under a bridge. Laughing hysterically with the help of our rain-diluted Mai Tais, we shed our dripping wet clothes and towels and sat down on the pool chairs in the cave. “You know we could swim right here,” Avery said, pointing to the portion of the pool covered by the faux rock. I pretended to think it was a bad idea, then tackled her into the water. We splashed and wrestled around for a few minutes by ourselves, the heavy rain clapping outside the cave. After a few minutes, I hopped out and grabbed a couple dry towels from a nearby chair. I kicked my feet up and sat back, sipping my drink. Avery began an interpretive, synchronized swimming routine in her bright blue bikini. She whipped her auburn hair back and forth and swung her hands above her head with effortless grace. Even though she was joking, I was mesmerized. She was mine. I was hers. It was surreal. But then I got a feeling. A horrible feeling. One that said disaster was imminent. I didn’t say anything to Avery though. Since I prided myself on being rigidly pragmatic, giving credence to feelingson only our third day of marriage seemed like a bad idea. Whether it was a premonition or not, lightning struck the pool with a deafening crack. A deadly shockwave surged through the pool, killing Avery instantly and shooting me back against the rock wall. Once my hearing and sight returned, I saw Avery floating face down in the pool, twenty feet away from the cave. I yelled for help and jumped in. Hotel staff ran over and together we got her out of the pool. Medical staff arrived shortly thereafter and then an ambulance. She was pronounced dead on site. The next day, we flew home, one of us seated in coach, the other in a body bag stashed below deck. I fell into a funk after the funeral and never recovered. I was convinced Avery was my soulmate, so when she died, the world fell out of working order. Nothing made sense anymore. I never dated again nor had any interest in women. Or people, for that matter. I took a job in Texas, bought a townhome, and quickly got into a routine. I talked to my parents occasionally but only returned home maybe three times over the last ten years. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. Hell, not even an hour. As our tenth anniversary approached, the data analytics firm I worked for was bought by another company and I was let go. Though I was initially pissed, my tune shifted once the generous severance check came in the mail. The night the check came, I drank a lot and stumbled through Avery and my wedding album. Sometime around one in the morning, I made a decision. I decided that a decade of mourning was long enough. I decided that the next ten years of my life weren’t going to be steeped in self-pity. I would make something of myself. I’d read books again, I’d make videos again, I’d make friends, I’d pick up the guitar. The next night, with a drink in hand and money in the bank, I sat down at my desk and developed a plan with a vague goal of getting out of the country for a little bit. Somewhere around two in the morning, I fell into the rabbit hole called the Flat Earth Theory. I spent the next three hours reading and watching YouTube videos. For some reason, it all got funnier and funnier as the night went on. I didn’t accomplish much that night, but by the next night, I had a solid plan. Over the next couple months, I sold my townhome, bought a camera, and booked an around-the-world trip in five flights. My objective was to document my travels and prove, once and for all, that the world was round. For the three weeks before my trip began, I moved back to Salt Lake City with my parents, who were surprisingly supportive of the endeavor. In my first video, I explained the rules: I would travel east until I made it back home. I would have a compass on me at all times. I would be awake and alert at all times of travel. Anyone who was staunch in their belief that the world is flat would likely think I’m faking the whole thing, but that wasn’t really the point of the trip. I was trying to become a new man, remember. The day before I left, I was feeling nervous and oddly existential—more so than normal. This was big. Traveling around the world by myself. I never dreamed I could have done something like this, especially since Avery died. Part of me was proud of myself, the other part of me was questioning what the hell I was doing. Whatever it was, I decided to leave something behind to commemorate my existence. I stayed up late scrolling through thousands of pictures, and ultimately choosing four for print: Avery and me on our wedding day, my cousin and me on skateboards, my parents and me last Christmas, and a horribly awkward picture of me standing by myself outside my Texas townhome. I rolled the pictures up tight, stuffed them in a dry Guinness bottle, then took the bottle and a shovel up the mountain behind my parent’s house. About a quarter mile up the hill, I found a nice clearing amongst the scrub oak and dug a hole two feet deep. With my headlamp, I could see Avery’s eyes peering at me through the thick brown bottle. I cried for a good five minutes then tossed it into the hole. I covered it the best I could and returned home to get a couple hours of shut eye before flying out. My dad drove me to the airport the next morning. — I flew from Salt Lake to New York, New York to Amsterdam, Amsterdam to Shanghai, Shanghai to Los Angeles, then Los Angeles to Salt Lake. I’m intentionally not getting into too much detail about the trip itself, because that’s not really the point of me writing this. Okay, okay, I’ll indulge a little bit. How long did the trip take? A little over a month. I spent about a week in each place and three days in LA. Did I have fun? Hell yes. I had the time of my life. I realized that being away from the drudgery of my routine allowed some of my old self to reemerge, my pre-lightning-strike days. I made friends, I was funny, I was charming. It was a little weird honestly. Was it good for me? Other than what I’m about to tell you, yes, it was fantastic. I truly feel like a changed man. Did I gain a following? I actually did. I mean, I didn’t go viral or anything, but as of this writing, I have about 50,000 subscribers. Most think the Flat Earth Theory is BS, but some are believers. I don’t know if any of them will ever read this. How do you feel about that lame time capsule now? I know you probably didn’t have this question specifically, but this is important to me. The longer the trip went on, the more embarrassed I felt about the time capsule I left in the ground behind my parent’s house. The life I conveyed in that bottle was tinged with regret, loss, sorrow. Particularly my apathetic face standing in front of my stupid townhome or with my parents on Christmas. I decided, on my trip, that I wouldn’t replace any of the pictures in the time capsule, but I would add some—change the ending of my story, if you will. Okay, enough of that. So… Is the world round? That’s where things get complicated. I successfully stayed awake during all hours of travel, which was very difficult. Especially that Amsterdam to Shanghai leg. Good god. But I can confidently say that I traveled east the whole time and successfully made it back to Salt Lake, which would rule out the whole flat earth thing, but I can’t confidently say the Earth is round either. Here's what happened. When I got home, both the front, back, and side doors were locked. I tried the garage keypad, but it didn’t work. When I texted my mom, it failed to go through. Then I tried my dad. Same thing. I brushed it off, telling myself that a month is a long time—my parents could have switched cell carriers and could have changed the garage code. With no way into the house and nothing to do, I decided to make the planned modifications to my time capsule right then, even though it was dark out. I trekked up the mountain with a shovel from the back porch and found the spot twenty minutes later. I dug cautiously and successfully extracted the bottle. I saw Avery’s eyes again peering at me through the brown bottle, this time a little foggy from sitting underground for a month. As I pulled the rolled-up pictures out, I decided that merely adding new pictures wasn’t going to solve my problems. I needed a ritual, a way to symbolize my rebirth. I thought about ripping up the old pictures or burning them. I thought about collecting everything I still owned of Avery’s and throwing it into a bonfire. Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to move on until I could erase Avery—the personification of my old, deceased self—from my life. Like I said before, I was a new man. Then I saw something at my feet. With the flashlight on my phone, I saw that I had dropped one of the old photos. It was the picture of me and my parents at dinner last Christmas at the Grand America Hotel. Only in this picture, there was a fourth person. A beautiful woman about my age with fair skin and long auburn hair. It was Avery. I was confused at first. Perhaps I had put a different picture in the bottle than I had thought. God knows Avery and I had gone to plenty of dinners with my parents when she was alive. But I wouldn’t have done that. I already had a picture of Avery and me on our wedding day. That was enough. I remember distinctly thinking one picture of Avery was enough. Then I looked closer at myself in that picture. It was definitely from last Christmas. It was 33-year-old me, not 23-year-old me. I had a beard last Christmas, a feat I could not have managed when I was 23. Since I printed the pictures only a month before, I pulled up the original on my phone with numb, shaky fingers, and held them side by side. It was the same picture. I had before me two distinct realities—one in which Avery was alive and one in which Avery was dead. Everything else was the same. How the hell is this possible, I thought. The picture of our wedding day was the same. So was the picture of my cousin and me skateboarding. The picture of me standing in front of my Texas townhome was different though. Instead of a townhome, it was a small red house, apparently still in Texas. And, of course, Avery was standing next to me wearing a green plaid button-up shirt. Avery would have pursued her degree in Nursing had she lived, I’m sure. The dual income would have allowed us to buy a house instead of a townhome, I figured. But still, what the fuck is happening? My knees grew weak and I sat down, looking back and forth between the two pictures with Avery now in them. She truly was stunning, more beautiful than I remembered. I stumbled into a new reality. I don’t know how or when, but here I am, in a world where Avery lives. I’m sure that isn’t the only difference, but it’s the only one I’m aware of as of this writing. If I truly am in a new reality, what happened to the old one? Am I missing? Did I get duplicated? Did that old reality disappear? I laid on my back in the crunchy snow and closed my eyes. Where do I go from here? A pair of headlights flashed through the Aspen trees and I sat up abruptly. A car was pulling up the driveway. I shuffled my way down the snowy banks close to the house. I remained perched there for about five minutes before the kitchen lights clicked on and I saw four people emerge. Two of them were my parents—looking the exact same as they did in the other reality. Then in walked Avery. Then, in a moment even more unsettling than seeing Avery alive, I saw myself enter the room. My heart was pounding. Other-me was wearing the same outfit I’m wearing today, even sporting the same scruff. The only difference was the little bit of gray hair above his ears. I slid further down the hill to get a closer look. For a moment—a long moment—I forgot about my replica and watched Avery. She was gorgeous in person, more gorgeous than in pictures. She had always been that way. This is what my life would look like if I hadn’t been such a coward, I thought, feeling a tear trickle down my cheek. The four of them talked and laughed excitedly, eventually shedding their coats and moving to the front living room. I climbed down the rock wall and ran around to the front of the house, hiding behind a group of pine trees near the front stairs. My dad left for a couple minutes and returned with a bottle of wine and four glasses. I fell deeper into a daze watching them—mostly Avery. They had a great time chatting for at least a couple hours while I sat like a fool between the pines, my toes and hands freezing. She was so effortlessly charismatic, so charming. The way she talked with her eyes, the way her teeth flashed when she smiled, the way she leaned in when she was engaged. Everything about her was perfect. What I wouldn’t do to steal this man’s reality… I watched other-me and Avery say their goodbyes and exit through the kitchen. Their car doors slammed shut and I realized that I was going to lose them. In my reality, I was living at home while I did my around-the-world trip. Where would I have lived if I was still married to Avery? We had always talked about returning to the Salt Lake area eventually. Maybe they did it. As they rolled down the driveway in their 2019 Honda Accord (nice choice), I ran to the side of the house and found an old bike from my childhood rusted against the wall. Both tires were flat, and the front brakes didn’t work, but since my parents lived way up in the mountains, wherever other-me and Avery were going was downhill. Even though I went as fast as I could, they were long gone. Obviously. My twenty-five-year-old junkyard bike didn’t stand a chance. But I kept going, rolling past the church, the junior high, then through the Oak Hills neighborhood all the while wracking my brain: If Avery and I were still married, where would we have lived? It wasn’t a fair question to ask myself. After all, we had known each other for a little over a year and had only been married three days when she died. In this other reality, other-me and Avery had been married ten years. That’s a lot of time to know someone. People change, opinions change, circumstances change. I can’t read other-me’s mind, so all I could do was hope for a miracle. As I was about to turn the corner onto Orchard Drive, I saw a pair of taillights in a driveway off a side street—Fair Oaks Drive. Of course, I thought. Avery and I talked about renovating an old home on Fair Oaks one day. But man, that was one conversation when we were engaged. Impressive that they (we?) pulled it off. My vision was blurry from biking almost a mile downhill in freezing temperature, but as I got closer to the house, I recognized the car to be theirs. I snuck around the back of the house where I had a view of the living room and kitchen. I smiled looking at the renovated—well, mostly renovated—home. Pictures of Avery and other-me lined the walls. There was even an old stand up piano in the corner. Just like the one Avery had always talked about. I found a little slice of heaven. This is everything my life would have been had I acted on that inner voice to pull Avery out of the water ten years ago. Instead, I’m a depressed bum living with my parents. They made their way into the kitchen and took off their coats. Other-me started on the dishes and Avery sat on the couch, eyes glued to her phone. I figured they were exhausted. It was midnight after all. After a minute, Avery stood up and walked down the hall. I ran to the other side of the house to try and get a view of her, but as I turned the corner, an outdoor security light came on and I ducked down in some bushes. Other-me put the dishes down and walked to the back window to inspect. Then I heard a crash from inside—where Avery was. Other-me jerked around then stopped in his tracks. Go help her, I thought. You cowardly bastard. I returned to my original post in time to see Avery stomping down the hallway and into the kitchen. She was red hot furious. She walked right up to other-me with a piece of paper in her hand. I couldn’t hear exactly what she said, but she screamed something and threw the paper at his face. Other-me put his hands up as a weak defense. What did you do to Avery this time? As other-me tried to explain away whatever was on that paper, Avery grew more furious. She paced to the kitchen and barked something else then picked up a glass other-me had been in the middle of washing and threw it across the room, shattering on impact. Who the hell is this woman? Other-me continued to speak calmly in defense, but there was no slowing Avery down. She grabbed a picture off the wall and threw it hard on the ground, the wooden frame crunching. Other-me backed away slowly, moving to the other side of the kitchen island. Then Avery pounced. She ran at him with unrestrained vengeance and shoved him hard against the kitchen cabinets. He held his hands out again, pleading for her to calm down. She grabbed a plate from the sink and swung it at him, but he moved out of the way and it shattered violently against the cabinets behind him. This only made her madder. She shoved him again, then clawed at his face. Other-me got tangled in his feet and stumbled against the fridge. She slapped him hard against the side of the head and he yelped in disbelief. Again, he begged for her to stop, but she didn’t. She hit him three more times in the face while he slumped to the ground. After the third hit, one of his eyes was already swollen shut and blood was streaming down his face. Avery walked to the other side of the kitchen island and I breathed an audible sigh of relief. Avery, the girl of my dreams. The girl that made all my friends jealous. The girl I had on a pedestal for the last decade. A monster. I know that we tend to forget peoples’ negative attributes after they’ve passed, but there was not a violent bone in Avery’s body when I knew her. Not even an aggressive one. She was sweet, kind, loving. Not like this. Not at all. What happened to her? As I watched the other bruised and bloodied version of myself weep on the kitchen floor, my world crumbled. All this time I had hated myself for not listening to that voice, for not pulling her out of the pool and saving her life. If only I had done that, we could have gone on to create a beautiful life together—finish school, build careers, buy a house, get a dog. We’d do it laughing and playing the whole time, like two kids in love. I’d be complete forever. But with that one lapse in judgment, Avery died along with the entire vision for my perfect future. But no. That’s not how life would have been. This is how life would have been, with me crying on the kitchen floor with blood running down my face and shattered dishes all around me. Is it possible that my reality—the one I came from—was the better life? There was another crash and a scream from the bedroom. Avery round two. She stomped back into the kitchen and other-me stumbled to his feet. Again, he tried to calmly plead, but again, she wasn’t having it. She yelled at him for another minute then threw a coffee mug at him, shattering against his shoulder. He backed away from her, moving to the backdoor close to where I was hiding. I ducked down further. The door burst open and other-me went sprawling past me, tripping and falling into the snow. Avery stopped in the doorway and scoffed. “You think you’re better off without me, don’t you? That’s what all this is about,” she said. “Avery, please. Think about what you’re doing. Look what you’ve done to me just now. We cannot keep living like this. I cannot keep living like this. I’ve put up with it for far too long,” other-me said and stood up. Avery began sobbing quietly, her arms folded tight. Other-me took a step toward her. Don’t get any closer to that thing, I thought. “You’re right. You’re so right,” Avery said, tears running down her cheeks. “God, I’m so horrible to you. You don’t deserve this. You deserve someone better. Far better. Someone who will love you no matter what. No matter—" Other-me stayed composed while she cried. “Will you ever forgive me?” she said. There was a minute of silence. I tried to steady my breathing despite feeling like I was going to explode. Other-me swallowed hard and widened his stance. “No. Avery, this is it. I’m doing this. It doesn’t mean we’re over; it just means—it just means I need some time. Away.” He turned his back to her and walked to the front of the house where the car was parked. Avery huffed and slammed the back door, returning to the kitchen. I peered my head up and saw her going to the knives next to the stove. I thought about intervening but didn’t know how. She carried a knife to the front door. I ran around the side of the house, past the security light to the front. Other-me had just turned on the car and was starting to back out of the driveway when Avery appeared with the knife. “STOP!” she screamed at him, trying to block his path. Other-me continued backing out, his eyes growing wide when he saw the massive knife in her hand. “STOP THIS FUCKING CAR RIGHT NOW!” she screamed and tried stabbing one of his tires, but its rotation kicked the knife of her hand. She quickly picked it up off the driveway. He pulled into the street and sped away, leaving Avery standing in the driveway in her pajama shorts with a giant knife dangling by her side. When the headlights were gone, she dropped the knife and began crying again. My first instinct was to comfort her, an instinct that I quickly overruled. I only watched her in pure bewilderment. Never should have left fucking Texas. After a few minutes, she returned inside and I could hear her cleaning up the mess. That’s when something dawned on me. I made a time capsule because I was about to do something big—something life-changing. For me, I was about to embark on an around-the-world trip. But why would other-me make a time capsule? Was he also planning something big? Before I could follow that train any further, I realized that the paper that set Avery off a few minutes before was now sitting in the middle of the driveway. I stood up carefully, making sure I was out of sight and grabbed it. With my phone as a flashlight, I read the paper: SLC to JFK - 12/28 JFK to AMS – 1/4 AMS to PVG – 1/12 PVG to LAX – 1/19 LAX to SLC – 1/23 I let the crumpled paper fall to the ground. He was planning the same trip I just came from. Which meant he was going to experience what I just experienced. Probably. If he makes it around the world and returns to Salt Lake, he would be stepping into a new reality. If anyone deserves a new reality, it’s that guy, so I didn’t try to stop him. Lightning struck a tree nearby, knocking me to the ground, and killing the power to the rest of Fair Oaks. It began to rain. I walked to Orchard Drive and followed it to Dee’s—the only 24-hour diner on this side of town. I’m writing this on a borrowed laptop in a booth that Avery and I had occupied many times when we were younger. I don’t know what happened to the reality I came from—if I’m now missing or dead or what. I don’t know what will happen to other-me if and when he makes his trip around the world. I don’t know if there are other other-me’s planning around-the-world trips too—thereby disrupting who knows how many more realities. How many other realities are there, infinite? Frankly, I don’t even know what will happen to this post once I publish it. I assume it will be trapped in this reality forever, but who knows how this works. Just a few hours earlier I smugly thought I had figured out the answer to the embarrassingly juvenile question: Is the world round? My cab just got here, so this is the end of the line for me. There are plenty of unanswered questions here, questions I hope I’ll eventually find answers to. All I know now is that I don’t like the reality I came from and I don’t like the reality I’m in now, so there’s only one way to go. See you in New York, other-me. submitted by /u/pb1707 to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

It starts with people needing some help. It might be a girl you like, or some guys you’re trying to impress, or even just an old buddy you bump into on the street. The important thing is that you’ve got a reputation for smoking weed and they’d like some. Maybe they’re new to town, or they want to throw a party and want to impress someone as a one off, but they need you. They need your help. So that’s what you do. You start to “help” them out by buying weed on their behalf and then you start charging extra because it soon becomes regular and it’s more than just a favour, and then you realise you’re putting so much time into it you need to find someone who sells large amounts at a discount. Eventually, you realise weed won’t cut it. The margins are too low and the work’s too hard. By now you have four phones, way too many friends on Facebook, a day job you fucking hate, and so much of your time goes into being a dealer that you’ve given up hopes of it just being a hobby. Oh, and of course, you have your own addiction to take care of. Most of the time you’ll be lucky to break even, but selling weed helps. Maybe the guy you buy off mentions mushrooms, or MDMA, or something else that’s common. But the important thing to remember is that it’s a surprisingly short road to heroin. It pays the most, weighs very little, and you don’t have to worry about spreading yourself too thin. Now you’ll be able to get a little book of real valuable repeat customers. And, if you’re like me, you might just have had enough sense to never try your own product. But it’s still a problem. Every person who buys is a ticking time bomb, a walking liability. And every day you work this job, you’re not doing something else, something with prospects. And it only takes one arrest to fuck it all up, and it only takes one idiot to lead to that arrest. See, what I did was I went after a certain kind of client, someone who through luck and opportunity is rich enough to hide their addiction. Someone who doesn’t “look” like an addict, if you get what I mean. They’re hardly immune to the effects of addiction, but consequences are a lot less severe for the upper classes. Good thing that applies to their dealers too. It’s nice to have clients who don’t die every few years. That’s not to say their health is my number one priority, but I’ve known most of them for going on eight years. I’ve helped them move, fix broken down cars, find dates, rehearse presentations, pick up deliveries, and on one occasion I even baby-sat one of their nieces while they got high in the garden shed. Sadly, I would have to admit that they’re my closest friends. And about a fortnight ago something bad happened to each and every one of them. Normally I like to sell all my goods on a Sunday, no open door policy and no phone calls. I keep a consistent routine and it avoids trouble but last Tuesday I had one of them knocking at my door. I was pretty pissed to have this guy, Rolo (don’t ask, not his real name), turn up out of the blue. That’s not how I like to do things, and I was pretty damn close to not opening the door. But, as you might guess, junkies are resistant to denial and he wasn’t going to go away out of politeness. So, in the end, I let him in. But to my surprise, he wasn’t there to buy. He came straight in and put a brick of the stuff in my hand, leaving me totally speechless. He then went on this winding rant about his childhood and the things his mother did to him and the scars she left and after a long, long time, he eventually got to the point: “I found it,” Rolo told me. “I found it in a gutter on the side of the road, way way out in the middle of nowhere. I was driving home and my wife she’ll… oh man I just spotted it. What a weird thing, right? My headlight caught it and I was like ‘wait was that… no fucking way!?’ But it was. Just a brick of the stuff waiting for me in a ditch in the middle of nowhere and…” He paused and bit down on his thumb so hard I thought he was going to snap it off like a baby carrot. “I’ll kill myself if I have this much,” he said. “I know it, you know it, everyone fucking knows it man. You can’t give me all of this. You can’t. I looked at that brick and I realised I’d be dead within a day. And you… you’ve been so good to me. How much do I owe you? Like, seriously? All those times?” “You don’t owe me anything,” I said. “You’ve been paid up for years.” “It’s not about that though,” he replied. “It’s about the gesture. You helped me. So… here’s what I’m thinking. You take this and you just… you sell it? And any money you split with me and then I use that money to buy more stuff off you when I need it. That way I never have enough on me to just… go crazy. You know? I can’t even tell you how much strength this took, by the way. I’ve been driving the streets for like 5 hours just thinking this through carefully. I took the elevator up here three times. But… I know it’s what I need. I can’t… I can’t leave this place with that brick. “I’ll kill myself.” I weighed it up in my hands. It was easily worth a grand and I had to admit, what he said made sense. There was no way any addict could be trusted with that much, least of all him. And, just to reiterate, it was worth a shit load of money. “You found this?” I asked, clearly incredulous. I glanced at the gold leaf symbol stamped onto one side, failing to recognise it but feeling an intense anxiety in its presence. “In a fucking ditch,” he said, his face elated. “Someone must have just chucked it! Whoosh, straight out the window.” “Alright,” I agreed. “This is… this is a good deal,” I added, hesitating for reasons I couldn’t say. But I decided I was just being irrational because, by all accounts, this was a fucking good surprise. Free money is always a good surprise. “Come on,” I told him. “I’ll weigh a little out for you.” Instinctively he reached into his pocket and started counting notes. “It’s your stuff,” I snapped and he laughed at himself. But I just shook my head and took it to my scales, where I began taking off just a little to give to Rolo. Pretty soon I was left sitting in my flat on my own staring at the brick with a sense of confusion, partly at the preceding events, partly at the strange pit in my stomach, and partly because that symbol made my eyes hurt. Over the next week that brick was sold in pieces to each of my customers, slowly whittling itself down until about half was left. Bit by bit I sold it to all eleven of my regulars and then, bit by bit, none of them came back. When it came to Sunday—a day where my phone is normally lit up and my door’s a fucking tambourine—there was silence. I tried calling them all but there was no answer for each of them. I cannot stress to you just how weird this is. Heroin addicts don’t skip appointments with me. It just doesn’t work like that, not unless they’re dead. And that was a harrowing thought to have. All of them? Man, even back then I took a long hard look at that brick. Something about it had bothered me the entire time, and now I was truly worried. Do you know what they’d do to me if I sold bad drugs to eleven different middle-class Londoners? One of them is a blonde girl in her twenties. Fucking blonde. Do you have any idea how bad that would be for me? My first stop was the news. At least three of the people I sold to were Oxbridge graduates with banking jobs, and I figured if they died it’d be in the papers somewhere. People love those kinda scandalous stories, so I started Googling names until I got a hit. It was… not what I expected. That blonde I just mentioned. I’m gonna call her Milkybar, anyways she turned up in one paper having gone missing, last seen a few days before. It was a plea from her husband and parents, asking for her to come home. The paper mentioned her addiction and there were worries she’d relapsed or worse, died. Well, I was worried too, but what I knew that they didn’t was that Milkybar had a small flat she rented in a friend’s name where she smoked before going to work. I also happened to have a key from a misguided attempt at seduction (long story). I had an address and access. And I rushed there hoping to God I’d find her partying her tits off or handcuffed to a bed deep in withdrawal. If only. I entered quietly only to find a dingy shithole in a high-rise apartment that was a huge step down from the last time I’d been there. Somehow, there were signs of decay. I mean, ten plus years of rot and decay. Wallpaper was peeling, the ceilings were yellow, pipes had rusted, plaster had chipped, the windows had faded. I’d been there just a year before and it had been a newly decorated flat. It wasn’t squalor that had done the damage, no. It was derelict, broken down the way old houses are. Nothing about it made sense to me. I triple checked the address but sure enough, that was the right place. So I kept looking and eventually I found Milkybar. At least, I figure it was her because of the clothes. Really, I guess all I found was a pile of bones in a sundress with some faint straw-coloured hair. Her skull, her mouth, was wide open and the sockets empty and it just looked like she was in pain. And the porcelain tub was all stained a dark red, looking an awful lot like a puddle of blood. I felt like I’d stumbled into a crypt, the way her bones looked brittle with age, with little teeth marks from rats. Was this a bad attempt at faking her death? I wondered. After a little more poking around, I found some papers stuffed between her pelvis and her dress. I pulled them out and unrolled them, recoiling from the smell, and read. I don’t wanna put it all up in print, but she wrote about some fucked up stuff. Real nasty messed up things, like “I just saw Se7en” messed up. It nearly made me sick and, struggling to understand anything in the moment, I put those crazy words down to her having a fucked up troubled mind. After looking around a bit more and not finding anything, I took the notes and left. At the bottom of the last page she’d sketched symbol from the brick in my flat and that freaked me out. None of the people, aside from Rolo, could have possibly seen that symbol, and I did not like it being there one tiny little bit. It left me shaken, not just because of the potential trouble it might bring, but because I was worried that it really was Milkybar in that tub, and that something awful had happened to her. So I decided to check up on the others. It wasn’t easy, but I managed to visit at least two others before morning. The first of the two was a guy I’ll call Snickers who, if you can believe it, was a professor of English Literature at KCL. He was something of a tortured artist when he was younger, and while he later grew up and let go of the “artist” part he guarded the “tortured” part like a tiger protecting her cub. When I first knocked the door of his own personal little fuck-pad, I heard what I’d best describe as a kind of quiet sobbing and some shuffling. I wound up banging at his door for a good ten minutes before someone finally let me in and it wasn’t Snickers. The guy didn’t even greet me or look surprised. He was a young man, early twenties, and I’d have bet my life that he was one of Snickers’ many student hook ups. Not that it mattered, but I followed him carefully as he held both his arms and shivered violently, tears streaming down his cheeks. Both of us sat down opposite one another and the first thing he said was not what I expected at all. “What the fuck happened man?” he said, stifling a sob. “What?” “Where am I?” he asked. “I don’t. I don’t… what the fuck happened man? Where did we go?” “Where’s Snickers?” I asked. “What the fuck? We were all there! You saw exactly what happened, man. They made us watch. All of us, me especially. You saying you don’t fuckin’ remember?” “I think you’ve mistaken me for someone else,” I answered. “What happened her?” The kid stopped and stared at me for a long minute before sniffling and pulling his knees up to his chest, holding them close while he rocked back and forth. His eyes were distant, and when he spoke next he didn’t talk to me. “I thought you were Dan,” he said. “Who are you?” “I’m a friend of Snickers,” I answered. “I was worried something had happened.” The kid laughed and for a brief moment I saw a network of cuts leading down his neck onto his chest. “I don’t know,” he answered, a quiver in his voice. “We were here, we got high and then… Jesus Christ,” he broke down, holding his face in his hands and crying. I waited patiently until he could resume. “Oh it was fucking awful man. You don’t even know. They just… they didn’t even come, we went to them man, floating through… through… I don’t even fucking know, the sky? We just all wound up there washed up on the shore and then they came and they took us and I thought it was just a trip, y’know? Just a bad trip but it weren’t like that at all. Oh fuck man my mum, oh my God how am I even going to explain this to her. We’ve been gone so long…” I looked around for a moment and took in the state of Snickers’ apartment, noticing the strange dust that coated everything and the peculiar person-shaped imprint on the sofa. “How long were you gone?” I asked. “You should know man you think they let us keep fucking clocks? Where are the police? Where are the ambulances? It’s been a year at least…” “Nooo,” I said. “I saw Snickers just a few days ago.” “No…” “Yes,” I answered. “No they kept us for years man…” I stood up and the boy flinched. But I happily showed him my phone and the date and even let him scrawl through BBC News for a good few minutes. “No no no,” he mumbled before looking up at me, pleading. “It wasn’t just a dream man, we fucking lived it. We lived it every day for years, all four of us. You don’t know what it was like, the things they did to us. What they did to Snickers…” he burst into tears and this time I realised he wasn’t going to recover quickly. I asked him if anyone else was around and he feebly pointed towards a nearby bedroom door. What I found inside that room was not what I expected. You could have hung it a modern art museum and no one would have noticed. Milkybar upset me but I’d done a good job convincing myself it was like a big elaborate ruse. It’s easier to believe that than God knows what. I mean, what was the alternative? That those things she’d written were true? Years spent taken away and subjected to humiliation, degradation, and unspeakable torture? But that room… I couldn’t convince myself that was a ruse. I couldn’t rightly say if Snickers was in there. But whatever it was, it had been a person once, and now it knelt on the bed in a position of supplication. Their face… it didn’t really exist anymore except for the mouth that had been cut so far back into their head I could glimpse vertebrae. The rest of the skull was just smooth pitted wrinkled skin, like a person’s thumb after a long bath. The skin of their armpits, where the arms and torso met, had started to melt together forming a broken webbed joint that forced their arms into prayer. All along their abdomen and back, human teeth had been implanted only to keep on growing into strange bones that broke apart stitches and surgical staples, turning into grotesque hairy, toothy, tumours that covered their midriff like barnacles on a ship. They knelt in a pool of crimson liquid that looked much deeper than it was, rising to their belly button. The strange lapping water gave off the strange sensation of looking down onto an enormous blood-red ocean. At moments it looked as thin as water, other times it looked as viscous as slime mould. Rising up out of it were ten different limbs, each one thinning unnaturally until it terminated in a single lonely toe. New joints had been added to them, seemingly at random, so that this person was hunched over their branching legs like an immense mangrove tree rising out of a blood-soaked swamp. And marching up out of the waters was a forest of mushrooms no bigger than my thumb, tiny and identical like neat, orderly buttons, their caps opening and closing in a rhythmic dance that made my skin crawl. And then something twitched in the water, looking for the world like a breaching fish. And I was out of there, unable to even think or reason what had happened in clear terms. “Look what they did to us man,” the boy screamed as I stumbled past him, tearing open his shirt to reveal a single large black equine eye embedded in his chest. “It took years to grow us into this. Fucking years,” he screamed, his shrill voice following me all the way down the hall. And with that I was back in my car shaking, barely able to think. At this stage I was doing mental back flips to explain what I’d seen and somehow I got it in my head that what I needed to do was to check up on the others. It had to be fake, I told myself. The only way I’d prove it was if I followed things up. I had to know, it’s the human condition and I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t retreat. I couldn’t possibly accept living in a world where anything I’d seen in that flat was real. I drove away from that block way too fast but eager to get on and find answers. The closest place next on my list was an office run by a man I called Aero. He fancied himself as a sort of Gordon Gecko, Wolf of Wall Street kinda guy, but he was the richest man I knew and whip smart too. I hoped to God he wasn’t in on all this bullshit and could offer some kind of help or explanation. Earlier that year he’d given me a security card for his building and I luckily fished it out of my dash before going in. He had a floor or two in this massive high-rise and I got the card out ready to explain why I needed to enter the building at 2am to some bleary-eyed security guard only to find the front desk empty. It was a simple flick of a switch to call the elevator, but I couldn’t stop staring at the half-drunk cup of tea waiting for the guard. Probably gone to the loo, I thought, before briefly touching the ice-cold cup and calling it into doubt. Man it was dark in there, and unsettling in the way that night-time offices always are. Any place that goes from busy to quiet has that air about it. The sense that once everyone goes home something comes slinking out of the shadows to stretch its legs. I felt like I was intruding, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave it yet. I was secretly trying to tell myself I’d been hallucinating in Snickers’ place, and I desperately wanted someone to reassure me that was true. I used the card to get access to Aero’s floor and walked out into an otherwise dead office-space. Even though the sky in London isn’t very clear, I could still see a full moon hanging over the skyline, following me like an eye as I walked along the enormous windows. Aero’s office was easily found. It was the only one with the blinds pulled shut, unlike the others that were as clear and transparent as a scientist’s beaker. His name and title were on full display and I could have walked right in, but something about the silence unsettled me. There was the sense that someone was moving around in those shadows, ducking and scuttling below cubicles and desks, just out of sight, whenever I turned. So I tried to peak through the blinds of his office first without going in, just to get a sense of what was in there. All I could glimpse was a desk chair facing me, and the dark outline of someone sitting in it. Steeling my nerves, I forced myself to open the door and found a desiccated corpse waiting for me. Although the skin was leathery and dry, pocked with peeling blisters and signs of decay, enough of the features remained that I could easily tell it was Aero. Unlike the others he looked asleep, peaceful even. For a moment I stared at him, lost in the silence, when something behind me fell over and I whipped around, heart thundering. It was Aero, looking a little younger than when I'd last seen him. I was shocked to see him after I'd convinced myself of the corpse's identity, and for a moment I looked back and forth while he stumbled in, stopping to take a breath with his hands on his knees, before looking up at me and smiling. “Oh thank God you’re here,” he said, panting. “What happened?” I asked. “How long has it been?” “Huh?” “How long has it been?” he repeated. “I’m amazed any of this is still here.” “Not long,” I answered. “I spent so long wondering if I'd have to come back,” he said. “I thought I’d never see this place again.” “What happened?” “Oh who knows,” he said. “It’s been so long I can barely remember my own name, let alone...” Aero stared at me, his face wrought with confusion and his eyes pleading. When I told him my name he looked deeply thankful. “That’s right,” he said, nodding. “Yes I remember you now. And my… did I have a wife?” “No,” I said shaking my head. I almost said something else, standing there so close to him. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t. Instead I asked, “Aero man, you gotta tell me what the fuck is going on? Who is that in your chair?” “I guess I um, I wound up going somewhere, you know? It was beautiful. You should see it. They gave me everything. Everything I could ever want. Even eternal life. I was there for a lot longer than just one life time. That,” he said, pointing to the body in the chair. “That’s the old me, my old shell before they gave me a younger one. They can do incredible things. It was beautiful. But now I'm home!” He laughed with relief and gently caressed the carpet. “Home sweet home.” He smiled at me, turning into the moonlight for the very first time, and an inexplicable wave of revulsion washed over me. I had to swallow it, trying hard to ignore the bile rising in my throat. It was hard to see, but something about his pallor unsettled me. “Come on,” I said, let’s get you back to your. Once more a look of confusion briefly flashed across his face, his eyes flicking to his surroundings before landing back on me. “Of course,” he said, nodding slightly. “Home. This is... this isn't...” I reached down and pulled him up, trying not to wince at the slick feel of his cold palms. Leaning down when I did, I couldn’t help but notice a speck of blood across his shoes. “They gave you everything?” I asked. “Oh everything,” he said, suddenly gushing. “A human could want for nothing. Oh the food, the clothing, the knowledge. It was divine.” “And the women?” I asked. “Magnificent,” he smiled. “Good,” I said, trying to hold back a cry. Aero was gay. “Let me go get my keys,” I said, my voice just starting to break. “I dropped them a while back.” I turned and went to leave, stopping for a moment in the doorway to look at the doppelganger. He was staring at me, his eyes overcome with a frightening intensity. At that moment, I dropped the pretence and ran, making for a twisting path through the office and doing my utmost best to ignore the sounds of wet footprints behind me. I don’t know if he was breathing or panting, but it sounded like a gale wind passing through a bee-hive. I was desperate to put something between this thing and myself, and for a moment I almost ran to the elevator but at the last moment images of me slamming my finger into the call-lift button as he shuffled out of the darkness burst into my mind, and I went for the stairs instead. The first thing I saw when I opened the door were the remains of the security guard. Unlike everything I’d seen so far, something about him bent over, blood pooling around his shredded entrails, grounded me. He hadn’t been altered or butchered. It wasn't like some crazy nightmare. He’d been assaulted and from the looks of it stabbed, repeatedly. I nearly slipped in his blood, but I was careful, managing to shuffle around it before bounding down those stairs, leaping three or four steps at a time, almost willing myself to fall just in the hope that it’d get me down quicker. Above me, that thing burst into the stair well. I half expected it to taunt me but it just made these shrill, almost bird like cries of joy. It wasn’t far behind me and it closed the distance fast. It was barely a single flight behind me when it spread its arms, let out a swine-like squeal, and jumped headfirst in my direction. It hit the concrete barrier hard and broke its neck immediately, falling in a broken pile of muscle and bones just a few feet away. It was like it didn’t even know the limits of its own body, and I shuddered at the thought of what it might once have been. As it lay there, a small pool of that crimson fluid slowly oozed out of every orifice and from that strange blood rose thousands of little brown mushrooms, unfolding their caps with the smooth grace of a dancer. Barely a minute later and the flesh within had started to crumple and hiss, leaving loose skin hanging off bones like clothes on a washing line, the slackening mouth leering at me like a drunken idiot’s grin. I don’t remember much else from that night. I awoke in the driver seat of my car a few hours later, engine idling at a green light as a van driver went caveman on his horn. I drove home, ready to write the whole mad night off, eager to pretend it hadn’t happened. It was something I might have managed were it not for the brick waiting for me in my flat. Now I’ve finally caught up with my rest and I’m left wondering if it’s worth checking out the other eight people. I have maybe a night or more before the police realise I’m the common denominator for a lot of carnage and misery, and maybe getting ahead of it is the only chance I have of knowing what the hell to do. But today, when I finally collapsed in my bed, I dreamed. I dreamed of a city on a coast with blood-red waters, a collapsed moon hanging in the sky. I dreamed of things that live there, filled with ambivalence and cruelty. I saw dungeons and torture chambers filled with people toiling away, and amongst them I saw Aero, Rolo, and Milkybar, old and frail, beating rocks with stones while shadow-covered figures grow ready to satisfy strange and unspeakable desires. And when I awoke, I was screaming, that strange brick burning its symbol into my palm. Edit: link to part 2 submitted by /u/ChristianWallis to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

Sorry I’ve not been in touch guys. It’s been a busy month. However, I’m pleased to announce that, as of yesterday night, I’ve finally touched down in Phoenix, Arizona. I’m posting this log from my first American hotel room, which offers a gorgeous view of both the state hospital and a local prison. Auspicious times. Drop me a line if you’re in the city or if you have any information at all. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 The Left/Right Game [DRAFT 1] 15/02/2017 As the darkness closes in, I find myself dragged deeper and deeper into the depths of my own subconscious, until I sink through the back of my mind into an indescribable place. A featureless, directionless, timeless void that exists at the weakest point of life. I can feel myself drifting away, surrendered to an almost imperceptible tide, carried slowly but inexorably from the world. The rest of the night unfolds in fleeting snapshots. I briefly feel my body lift up from the ground, gravity pulling at my limbs as I’m conveyed through the forest. An unknowable stretch of time later, I feel a distinct burning sensation to my right. In the world I currently inhabit, only an echo of the pain reaches me, but I can tell that it was once substantial. Unable to divine its purpose, I let the sensation fade away, before descending once more into the placid darkness. When my eyes finally work themselves open, the sun is beginning to rise. Without an ounce of strength left in my body, all I can do is peer through my eyelashes, taking in the vague scene before me. I’m in the back of the Wrangler, propped up against a soft pillar of luggage. There's somebody kneeling beside me, tugging at my right shoulder. When I try to address them, I discover that my voice has withered to a spectral whisper, so frail that it hardly exists at all. AS: … Rob… Hearing my voice, the figure shuffles round and kneels before me, staring into my eyes as they slowly regain their focus. ROB: You just lay back Miss Sharma, I just finished patchin’ you up but I gotta make sure it’s good work. AS: Wh… what happened to you? ROB: Denise had me at gunpoint, had to act like I was all but dead. When she into the forest, I got free, took the med kit into the trees, fixed myself up a little. I was comin’ to help when I heard this awful noise. Went to check it out... that’s when I found you. AS:... Is the engine running? ROB: Wanted to warm up the place for you. You were in shock, and since the battery don’t run down anymore I thought- AS: No I mean… how? The key, it got- ROB: You think I’d risk gettin’ out this far with only one copy of my car key? Rob seems almost insulted, and thinking back to everything I’ve learned about him over the course of this trip, I can see why he might be. Even in my weakened state I can’t help but laugh; though it admittedly comes out as stilted wheezing, diffusing quietly into the air. AS: No that’s… that’s actually very “you”. I think Bluejay would’ve appreciated that information last night. ROB: Yeah well, she didn’t ask. AS: … I’m glad you made it Rob. ROB: Glad you made it too. They build’em tough down in London. I rest my head back against the luggage. AS: I’m from Bristol. ROB: Of course… yeah of course that’s… sorry… Rob tries to recover his smile, but it slips quickly from his grasp. In its absence, his features cringe into sudden, uncontrollable sadness. ROB: Miss Sharma I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Rob Guthard’s weathered face bursts into a heaving mess of tears. He repeats those two words as he lumbers towards me, throwing his arms around my waist and resting his head on my left shoulder. My hand feels like lead as I raise it up and brush it against his hair, holding him against me. As the man continues to sob, I let my head roll slowly to the right, observing the damage to my arm. Last night, lost in the muddled throes of shock, the harm had been unquantifiable, the details drowned out by the encompassing haze of severe blood loss and a blaring, primal alarm which had forced me to move without questioning why. Now that I’m on the other side, bathed in the quiet warmth of the Wrangler, I’m able to fully assess the extent of my injury. Everything below my right elbow is gone. It feels almost like a dream. My upper arm is practically unblemished, save for a few dark bruises from last night’s fall, yet it descends an impossibly short distance before ending in a blunt, surreal stump. The wound itself is hidden from view, swaddled in fresh white bandages. I can’t seem to figure out how I should feel and, consequently, I don’t seem to feel anything. AS: It’s ok Rob. It’s ok. ROB: I never… I never meant for any of this to- AS: I know… I know. Rob pulls back, his eyes still watering. ROB: I’ll take you home, ok? I’ll find somewhere to turn around and we’ll get you home. I can tell Rob’s offer is genuine, and to be honest I’m a little surprised. I still remember our verbal agreement, forged at the mouth of the tunnel; that he would not be turning his car around until he reached the road’s end. I never expected he’d be the one to renege on the deal. I’m aware this could be my best chance to leave it all behind; to flee from the horrors of the road, before they take even more of me. I know the way back. I know that it leads to safety, to family, to blessed normality. However, as an insidious voice in the back of my mind quietly notes, it doesn’t lead to answers. AS:... I’m still game if you are. Rob sends me a heartbroken smile, which I would return if I had the strength. In that moment, a sombre understanding develops between us. An understanding that after everything we’ve seen, everything that’s happened, we’re both still choosing the secrets of the road. The decision reveals something about us, exposing a driving force behind our actions that negates our concern for survival, and overshadows the imagined protests of our loved ones. It’s a decision only two broken people would make. Rob spends the morning packing up the Wrangler, giving me time to rest. The fact that he’s walking around at all is remarkable, let alone conducting his usual routine at his usual pace. As I begin to feel life crawl slowly back into my veins, I wonder whether the strange force that has sustained us both, as well as the Wrangler’s fuel tank, could also have a mild restorative effect. The notion should bring me comfort; instead it makes me feel like a lobster in a tank. A few hours later, Rob carries me out of the car, letting me rest in the doorframe. In front of me lie three mounds of dirt, raised slightly from the surrounding earth. Two are headed by crosses, formed from knotted sticks bound tightly together. The grave on the far left lies bare, bereft of any religious affiliation. AS: Is that… Bluejay’s? Without the cross? ROB: Didn’t think she’d want one. AS: She wouldn’t have done that for you, you know. ROB: Good thing I ain’t her then. I buried what I can, but that was some state she was in. Did the child kill her? Rob goes to throw a foldable spade into the back of the car. For a brief moment, I consider letting his statement go unanswered. AS: No, it didn’t… I did. Rob immediately marches back round, his brow furrowed in confusion. AS: I hid a C4 charge in my satchel. When she took the bag I… well… I gesture to the bare grave. Rob looks as if he’s seeing me for the first time. ROB: Where did you- AS: From your son’s car. I watch as my quiet assertion strikes Rob’s ears, as its meaning burrows through his consciousness, its implications contorting his features into a look of shame and damning revelation. I can tell from his reaction that I’ve got it right. We haven’t had a chance to speak since I learned his son’s name. That piece of information formed the crucial thread, stringing together the strange and seemingly incongruent discoveries I’d encountered on the road. Earlier in the week I may have been worried to confront him with this information, but things are different now. We’ve come too far, we’ve been through too much and, if he’s truly ferrying me somewhere with malicious intent, I’m powerless to stop him anyway. I raise a weak hand towards him; a quiet request for assistance. AS: I think it’s time we had a second interview. Following a tense and guilty silence, Rob simply nods and helps me into the passenger seat. ROB: It wasn’t military. It was commercial. The Wrangler continues to crawl through the forest. I’ve stayed quiet for almost half an hour, letting Rob formulate a response in his own words, and in his own time. AS: Commercial? ROB: Yeah, explosive charges for controlled demolition. Bobby was in the business, had his own firm. AS: You must’ve been proud. ROB: Yeah… yeah he built that place up from nothin’. Tourin’ his office was one of the best days of my life. AS: So… how did he end up out here? Rob grows quiet, reluctantly accepting that he’ll have to start from the beginning. ROB: … Bobby was a smart kid… smarter than I ever was. He coulda run the farm at 15 but, country life didn’t take. Instead he moved away to Phoenix, picked up a college degree, got himself a steady career. AS: A steady career? That’s pretty rebellious for a Guthard. ROB: Hah… well we were pretty different people… didn’t always get along. I was still a courier in those days, always jettin’ off somewhere new. ‘Course I went to Japan, stayed there a while. Then… AS: Aokigahara. ROB: That’s right. Changed everythin’. Came home after five years with a new hobby. Bobby didn’t care for the stories but... his ma had died sudden while I was away; we both wanted to start over, be in each other’s lives more so... he came with me to the Pacific North West, trackin’ down Sasquatch. Creature didn’t show, but Bobby had a good time campin’ so he kept joinin’ me. Before long he was doin’ the research himself, organisin’ trips, pickin’ up rumours of strange stuff all across the country. AS: Sounds like a nice time for you both. ROB: It was. AS: So… was it Bobby who discovered the Left/Right Game? ROB: … He called me up one day, outta the blue. This was about three years ago. Said he’d found a set of rules; said we should try out. To be honest, I thought our trippin’ days were over; I was back in Alabama and he was startin’ up a family of his own, but suddenly he’s tellin’ me to meet him in Phoenix so, of course I went along. AS: And this time, you both realised it was real. ROB: Bobby knew as soon as we reached the tunnel. He passed that way every day, knew it wasn’t supposed to be there but… there it was. He said that was the most amazing thing he ever saw. We charted it over the next year, whenever we could get the time together, but we moved slow, mapped the place out, turned back on the regular. It took us a while before we got the courage to stay on the road overnight, both of us were terrified the tunnel would disappear or somethin’. I can tell Rob is replaying the events in his head. The reminiscence almost makes him smile. ROB: Bobby’s wife was a real doll. Used to work in his office. Kindest girl I ever met, funny too. There was a decade between’em but you could tell they were good for each other. He shared everything with her, including the road. In fact, once Bobby got a little more secure with the rules, they started to map it together…explorin’ their own little world. After a brief pause, Rob’s expression sinks slightly; the reminiscence is growing darker. ROB: Few months go by, I’m hearin’ from Bobby a little less but, I expected that. Then one evenin’ I get a call from the hospital, tellin’ me my boy had walked into some ER in Phoenix. AS: Was he ok? ROB: No. He was in a bad way. Leg all busted up, delirious, askin’ for Marjorie. They found her bag in his car but... she was nowhere to be found. AS: Bobby lost her on the road. ROB: Yeah, that’s right. AS: On our second night here, after we lost Ace, you told me the road had never hurt anyone before. ROB: Well, that wasn’t a lie at least. It wasn’t the road that got’em. AS: … What do you mean? ROB: They made it to the forest. None of us had got that far before but… this time they pushed a little further than usual. AS: Do you know why? ROB: They were gonna have a kid. Marjorie was almost due… wasn’t travellin’ so well. I think they knew they wouldn’t be hittin’ the road for a while. It was like a uh… like a last hurrah I guess. AS: But only Bobby came back? ROB: They explored the woods till nightfall. When Bobby said they had to turn back… Marjorie didn’t want to. He never told me why, never told me what happened. By the end of that trip, Marjorie was still out there and he was in a hospital bed. Rob takes a moment to collect himself, to put the facts in order. The trees are starting to grow thin, sunlight bursting through the widening gaps in the canopy. It looks like we’re nearing the forest’s end. ROB: Bobby took a month or so to recover. Boy was desperate to get his wife back, and of course he’d become a suspect in her disappearance. Needless to say the first thing he did was head onto the road to find Marjorie. AS: But he didn’t. ROB: Nope… No he found her. Just uh… a little sooner than he thought. I take a moment to process Rob’s implication. Suddenly I feel a stone drop in my stomach. AS: She was on the 34th turn. Rob nods solemnly. ROB: Wasn’t the woman he knew of course. Stood there all day, just mumblin’ about the road. Didn’t even recognise him. I remember he called me up right after he first saw her there, his heart breakin’. He tried almost every day from then on, always stoppin’ at that turn. He’d yell, he’d plead, he’d bring pictures and gifts but… she never responded. Don’t know if it was really her but, whatever was on that corner, it belonged to the road. ROB: Bobby lost somethin’ of himself on that corner. After a while, his fascination with the game turned sour, turned to hate. He thought the road was somethin’ evil, that it had no place linking into our world. ROB: I was checkin’ up on him at that point, every few days or so. One weekend he said he was doin’ better, even said he’d been in to work. I thought maybe things were turnin’ round but... then he went quiet; didn’t pick up his phone for three days. I had my place in Phoenix by that point, and a spare key to his house. That’s where I found the note; tellin’ me he’d gone back through. One last bid to find his wife… and if he couldn’t bring her back well- AS: He was going to destroy the tunnel. ROB: Cut the road off from the world. I played the game in Phoenix, Chicago, a few different places, but that one tunnel is what links you to the road. I looked around his garage, found the box for a phone, lot of electronics all over the place… pretty clear what he’d done. So I jump in my car. We pass out of the forest, onto a long narrow road. In the distance, I can see our route winding up a towering wall of sandstone, disappearing into a set of rolling mountains. ROB: He passed me on his way back, just before I hit Jubilation. Thunderin’ down the road at full speed, drivin’ like crazy. That’s when I knew he hadn’t found her… that he was goin’ to take out the tunnel, end the game once and for all. AS: But he never got that far. ROB: I tried to talk to him. Called his cell, tried the radio frequencies, there was a number on the sim card documentation that he had, god help me I even messaged him on that one. In the end it was just me and him, racin’ back to Phoenix. He was faster than me but I was drivin’ better. After few bad corners I caught up... AS: You ran him off the road. Rob stares out at the faraway ridges, his hands grasping the steering wheel. ROB: Cell service don’t work through the tunnel. He knew that. He was either goin’ to blow it up on this side… or while he was in there. AS: So you were trying to save him or save yourself? ROB: Neither. I was tryin’ to save the road... Say what you want about this place Miss Sharma, but it’s a doorway out of everythin’ we ever known. It’s the road out of… out of reality. It may be the most significant frontier we ever cross and that’s… part of me knew, that was too important for one man to take away. For the second time today, Rob battles back tears, and for the second time, he fails. They roll silently down his cheek as he continues on. ROB: He was more injured than I thought. He’d hurt himself bad before he reached me, that’s why he was headed to the tunnel so quick. He wanted to destroy it while he still could. ROB: The road had taken almost everythin’ from him, and then I took the rest… I denied him his hope, took away his chance to leave the world on his own terms. In the end he didn’t even seem angry… he just asked after Marjorie. Asked me why she did it, why she left. I laid him to rest there, visited the place often but… I never had a good answer for him. That’s when I started preppin’ the next run. AS: So you posted his logs online, and pretended to discover them. ROB: Thought people would ask less questions that way. AS: And where did we all fit in to this? Why did you bring us here with you? ROB: I guess… I thought it was time the world knew. Didn’t want all this to end up an old man’s secret. Honest to God, if I knew the road was gonna… I swear I never woulda brought you here. Rob’s features tighten, all his shame and guilt rising to the fore. I can’t say it isn’t deserved. Despite his intentions, despite his penitence, the man had blinded himself to clear dangers, hurt those closest to him and, on a road where secrets had killed so many, he’d kept the most significant one of all. Well, perhaps not the most significant. AS: You didn’t bring us here Rob. Rob turns to me, confused. AS: I met someone in the forest last night, a figure, just like the one you saw in Japan, “looked like static you see on a TV screen” … I think it was you Rob. I think I saw you and I think that… all those years ago… In my current state, the mechanics of the event, and their stunning implications, lie beyond my explanatory capacity. In the end, I just raise my lost right arm, and wait for Rob to make the connection. A moment later the car screeches to a halt. Rob stares straight ahead, his knuckles white against the steering wheel. I’m aware that beneath his stone-set features, every square inch of grey matter is fighting to process the fresh revelation. If it’s true that, in those quiet woods, I somehow reached across the decades to a young Rob Guthard, then it changes everything. The twisting narratives that led us to this point, Rob’s burgeoning obsession, his son’s tragic fate, they all took root in that single moment. More than a decade prior to my own birth, I’d placed us on the path which would lead me to his door. As chaotic as the road often seems, that moment in the forest hints at something deeper, something intentional. Rob steps out of the car for a while, before wordlessly climbing back in and firing up the Wrangler. From that point on we continue as two silent passengers, lost in thought, disappearing into the sandstone mountains. We travel across the thin mountain road for the next two hours, a wall of crooked rock hemming us in. When we pass onto the other side, and the outcrop falls away, the landscape below us has changed completely, and we’re treated to a strange and breath-taking sight. The Wrangler is traversing the cliffs above a vast, flat desert; a tundra of vibrant orange stretching as far as the eye can see. I can just make out the road, cutting a meandering path through the sand far below us. At the centre of this otherwise featureless expanse, a collection of monolithic structures, towering columns of glass and metal, rise from the ground, connected by a web of long perpendicular streets. AS: There’s a city… there’s a city on the road. Rob keeps his eyes forward. Despite the epic majesty of the cityscape below us. I can tell that his mind is elsewhere, that he’s still digesting the contents of our interview. In the end, I think it best to leave him alone with his thoughts. We stay on the mountain for another twenty minutes, before finally winding down to the desert floor. The space ahead of us is two-tone; the sharp saffron of the desert and the deep blue sky, separated by a thin, even horizon. The only objects that cross this perfect boundary, are the hulking grey towers of the city, rising from the sand, and bursting through into the heavens. We snake along the desert road, the city looming ever larger as we make our tentative approach toward the border. There’s an eerie contrast to the threshold as we cross it; the cupreous glow of the sand switches to grey, the scorching heat instantly cools, and perhaps most notably, what little sound there was is negated entirely. As we delve down an empty, perfectly maintained throughway, I realise that I can’t hear anything at all except for the Wrangler’s steady rumblings. AS: It’s quiet. ROB: That’s fine by me. AS: Who do you think built this place? ROB: I don’t know. Maybe whatever brought us here. Could be that no one built it… maybe it just is. I wonder if he’s right. It’s hard to think such a place would exist for any practical purpose. The city looks off somehow, as if it was built from conjecture, by an architect who had only heard of cities through poorly translated rumour. All the broad features are present, skyscrapers, lampposts, window cleaning platforms, but nothing deeper. It’s an empty shell. An ornament in the middle of the desert. As we turn down the next few roads, I stare up at the monolithic structures, each one standing at least a hundred stories tall. My eyes track back down the countless strata of dark windows, as I contemplate what it might be like to live in such a place. When I reach the ground floor, I’m presented with my answer. There’s a young man standing at the ground floor window, his hand resting against the glass. He’s wearing a dark grey suit, and a look of almost mesmeric shock. His mouth open, his hands shaking, his unblinking eyes staring past us as the Wrangler rolls by. My eyes quickly track back up the skyscraper’s glass facade, scrutinising each row of windows in turn. I’d naively hoped the buildings would be empty, that this place would be nothing more than a colossal ghost town. Now that I know otherwise, each pane of glass feels like a dark pool of water; still on the surface, but with sinister potential lurking within its depths. A few seconds later, more of them arrive. There aren’t many at first; just a few scattered figures stepping up to their windows, pressing themselves against to the glass. However, like a light sprinkling of rain that erupts into a downpour, the frequency of their arrival quickly doubles, then triples, until not a single space lies unoccupied. The Wrangler shrinks, subject to the scrutiny of countless individuals, on every floor, in every window, all of them clad in the same monochromatic formalwear and staring down at us like the emissaries of a grand tribunal. As the Wrangler passes by, they continue to stare straight ahead, though it’s clear they’re aware of our presence. AS: Rob. Rob there’s- ROB: I see’em. Rob puts his foot down, shedding the weight of a thousand pairs of eyes as he leaves the building behind. As the final column of windows slips by us, I glance back, hoping to see them return to the depths of the building. Instead, in those last few moments, I witness their collective demeanour fracture into a desperate frenzy, their mouths opening in a silent scream as they slam their fists against the glass. Turning back around, I stare into the buildings that currently flank our vehicle. The figures have already arrived at the windows, and their calm is already fading. AS: Rob, we need to go faster. ROB: I’m on it. The Wrangler growls with renewed ferocity as Rob plants his foot onto the gas. We lurch towards the next corner, accelerating down the road as Rob scans for any hidden turns. I achingly shift in my seat, keeping an eye on the scene developing in our wake. Shards of broken window begin to rain onto the asphalt. Watching the shattered pieces tumble through the air, it’s apparent that the quiet in this city isn’t simply due to a lack of activity. The torrent of splintered glass is completely silent, even as it crashes against the impervious ground. Nothing in this city makes a noise. Nothing except us. The thunderous engine of the Wrangler has never sounded so loud. Looking up, I witness hundreds of hands gripping the shattered window frames, unable to turn myself away as thousands of polished black shoes step over the threshold. The figures stream out from every floor, forming an incomprehensible deluge of humanity. The first wave strikes the ground, with more and more landing against them; a heap of tangled figures struggling to separate themselves. Much like the residents of Jubilation, and everyone else we’ve encountered on the road, they appear impervious to the fatal harm such an act should impart. Those that landed on their feet hardly even stop, turning towards us, and sprinting after the Wrangler. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the writhing mass to resolve itself, its constituent individuals joining the frantic stampede, their chaotic charge and desperate screams bereft of any perceivable sound. Even in the midst of the frenzied pursuit, as a foreboding shower of glass falls from every building we pass, the world outside remains silent; the chaos made even more incomprehensible framed against the ungodly stillness in which it takes place. Rob screeches around the corner, drifting onto a long and open street. The roadway ahead is flanked by skyscrapers disappearing to a narrow vanishing point. As we race down this next stretch of road towards a large intersection, the ever growing mob bursts onto the street behind us, taking the corner with supreme coordination and continuing tirelessly in our direction. A split second later, I’m struck by an abrupt and pervasive idea. It feels unlike any thought I’ve ever had before, less of a notion, and more a prescient hybrid of intuition and de ja vu, as if the course of action we must take is obvious to me, despite my not knowing why. I force my voice above a grating whisper. AS: Rob. We need to drop something behind us… something loud. ROB: What’re you thinkin’? AS: I uh… you just have to trust me ok? We still have most of the plastic explosive could you- ROB: Nah, if you took out the blasting cap I ain’t got time to make a new one. Rob’s glances into the rear view, then back to the road. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head. ROB: But that the only explosive on-board. Think you can drive? AS: I guess we can find out. The car thunders across the tarmac as I clumsily grasp the wheel, shifting myself over and working my foot onto the accelerator. Rob lifts himself away and climbs past me into the back of the Wrangler. In my weak state, every shuddering motion makes my bones rattle. With each subsequent gearshift, I’m forced to take my remaining hand off the wheel and reach across to the stick. The effort is precarious and awkward, my aching limbs puppeteered by will power and adrenaline, every passing second a battle to maintain control. The windows up ahead are starting to fracture. The noise of the Wrangler is carrying, and the entire city is starting to pre-empt our arrival. Behind me, I can hear the ripping of duct tape, the tearing of fabric and the clattering of falling luggage. I’m not sure what’s taking place behind me. I just have to trust that Rob has a plan. I hear the back door swing open just before we reach the intersection, a metallic scraping along the Wrangler’s floor, and a pained grunt from Rob as he throws something onto the road behind us. Reaching the crossroads, I slide my hand along the wheel and twist it sharply to the right. As the car lurches round, and onto the next road, I feel my heart sink dramatically. We’ve been overtaken. The windows ahead of us are shattered, the front doors lay broken on the street, and the building’s desperate inhabitants are rushing towards us, blocking off our only means of escape. I slam my foot onto the break, and the Wrangler shudders to a halt, the engine stalling and cutting out. The streets are now spilling over, an overwhelming swarm converging on our position from four directions. I look back to Rob, and he meets my gaze, his eyes brimming with dismayed finality. An explosion shudders through the air behind us. I look out the back window to see a shattered jerry can, one of Rob’s now superfluous fuel reserves, its dark green shell violently compromised, its contents spilled out across the road and cast alight. Now that the engine isn’t running, the echo of the blast and roar of the primal, balletic flame fills the afternoon air. The trajectory of the maddened crowd changes instantaneously, the silent Wrangler has fallen from their collective attention, as they refocus onto the smouldering flames. Those up ahead continue to rush past us, streaming around the Wrangler as they scramble to the spilled pool of gasoline, digging their hands into the blaze, grasping hopelessly at the fire. Delicately, careful not to make a single shred of noise, I climb out of the driver’s seat, joining Rob in the back of the Wrangler. He addresses me in a confused whisper. ROB: Why don’t they care about us? What are they doing? AS: … It’s the sound. They want it for themselves. I don’t how I’m so sure, but I know that it’s the case. The jerry can creaks and screams as the city dwellers tear it into smaller and smaller pieces, frantically examining every jagged scrap. With each passing second, as the fire dies down, the crowd grows increasingly distressed, as if a precious commodity is slipping through their fingers. AS: They don’t understand it. They’ll pull it apart trying to figure it out and they’ll never get any closer… and then it’ll be quiet again. ROB: Where you gettin’ this from? AS: I don’t know, just a uh… just a feeling. ROB: Well... pretty sure they woulda pulled us apart too. I’d say we’re pretty lucky. AS: Hah, yeah… pretty lucky. As the last of the gasoline is eaten up, and the fire dies away, the city dwellers remain in the streets. Devoid of their momentary sense of purpose, their prize vanishing into the ether, the crowd’s desperation fades into a hushed despondency. I watch them as they pass by, countless faces wracked with sorrow, their aimless shuffling forming a lonesome sea, a grayscale ocean that spans the desolate city. The Wrangler is now adrift in the centre of that ocean. It’s clear that any attempt to start the engine would bring the entire city down on us, reigniting their futile hope, causing them to tear through the car, and anything inside it. For the foreseeable future, we’re completely stranded. ROB: Don’t worry about it, ok? AS: I don’t think they’re going to leave Rob. ROB: They’ll leave. AS: Ok… and what then? They’ll still be everywhere. ROB: Hey, we’re a smart pair. We’ll think of somethin’. In the eerie, pervasive calm that surrounds us, I sit myself down next to Rob and lean back against the wall, with nothing else to do but wait for our situation to change. After watching the figures outside for over an hour, the only thing that’s different is a strange needling sensation that feels like it’s emanating from now absent forearm. AS: My uh… my arm hurts… how’s that possible- ROB: Don’t worry that’s uh… it’s called Phantom Limb. You got some sensation right? Like you still got somethin’ there? A lotta people get that after amputations. Here… Rob reaches into his medical kit and retracts a blue jar of tablets. Twisting off the cap, he shakes two pills free. ROB: You’re gonna need these for the pain. I stare at the tablets for a moment, before collecting them from his open palm. He passes me his canteen and I swallow them down in two weak gulps. AS: You have a lot of experience with amputations? ROB: … More than you’d think. My brow furrows. Though I’d meant my remark as a passing jibe, Rob’s response rings with a strange sincerity. It takes me a moment to realise why that is. AS: I forgot... you were drafted. You never talked about it. ROB: Been thinkin’ about it a lot though. Bunch of strangers brought together under false pretences, told that we were servin’ a grand purpose by some old liar. Guess it’s interestin’ how time repeats itself. Now that I think about it, he drove a Jeep too. AS: Rob… I told you, you didn’t bring us here- ROB: That don’t change nuthin’. Don’t change what I did… to you, to Bobby, to any of ‘em. Maybe you were there in the forest but I was the one who started this, the one who kept askin’ what was at the end of the road. AS: What do you think is at the end Rob? ROB: Startin to think that ain’t for me to know. I been movin’ from place to place so long, seen everyone else settle down. Far as I can see, the end of the road is just wherever you decide to stop. I rest my head on Rob’s shoulder. He gently places his arm around me. It isn’t long before medication starts to take effect, quietly overtaking my already weakened constitution. The pain subsides, dulled along with the rest of my senses. The sun is still streaming through the windshield as my eyes begin to drift shut. I watch the figures pass the window, my eyelids getting weaker. AS: I don’t want this to be the end Rob. ROB: I know Miss Sharma, I know. The last thing I see before I fall into a dreamless artificial sleep, is Rob Guthard’s hand reaching for the rifle. When my eyes work themselves open, the sun is beginning to set. I’ve been moved. As my vision adjusts, it becomes clear that I’m still in the Wrangler. My head resting against a pile of fresh clothes, a soft travel blanket laid across me. I glance around to find that Rob’s nowhere to be seen. Momentarily forgetting the situation outside the car, I attempt to call out for him. The syllable catches in my throat as a shambling figure passes by the window, wringing its hands in despair and casting a long shadow through the car. With a renewed sense of caution, I slide the blanket to one side, and slowly make my way to the up front. The cabin is similarly empty, except for a single scrap of paper, torn from my notebook. It lies on the driver’s seat, a small object hidden within the fold. When I open it, I find my headphones and five neatly written words: “Channel One To All Cars” My hand starts to shake as I rest the note on the dashboard, slowly climbing through and placing myself gently into the driver’s seat. My heart in my throat, I insert the headphones into the jack of the CB radio, take a single, quivering breath in, and press the first button. AS: Rob? ROB: I’m uh… I’m sorry Miss Sharma. AS: Rob, where are you? ROB: Down the road a little. Got myself to one of the rooftops. I know I always hated cities but, once you’re above it, the view’s really somethin’. AS: Come back Rob. Come back... please. ROB: I wish I could. I do. But we both know those things ain’t leavin. And you need the car to get where ever you gotta go so… best I can do is make some ruckus, draw’em outta your way. I rest my head against the steering wheel, bracing myself against the weight of his words. AS: I can’t do this without you. ROB: I don’t think that’s true Miss Sharma. I think whatever’s on this road… it wants you to make it all the way. All I was meant to do was bring you this far. Now you don’t have to listen to it, you can turn around and head home… but either way only one of us is drivin’ outta here. So I guess the only question left is... which way d’you wanna go? AS: Well… are you ahead of me or behind me? ROB: I can be anywhere. It’s your choice Miss Sharma. In the wake of Rob’s words, in the shadow of the decision, I’m cast into silence; not because the choice is hard, but because I’m ashamed that it’s so easy. It was made the moment I first stepped into the Wrangler, and renewed in every perplexing moment since. The need to know, to comprehend, to uncover the truth has been with me all my life, but I never knew its roots ran so deep, that it would endure so ardently when everything else, everyone else, had been stripped away. I stare into the rear view mirror, seeing myself for the very first time, and I have to admit I’m scared. AS: Stay where you are Rob. ROB: Hah… ok Miss Sharma… you ready? AS: … Yeah. I’m ready. ROB: Alright then… suppose it’s about time this thing did some good. The shot explodes through the radio, before a faint booming echo reaches me on the quiet city air. Its effect on the city dwellers is immediate. Their collective melancholy shatters in an instant, replaced by a renewed fixation. Before I know it, the disparate crowd unites once more into a stampeding horde, rushing past the windows of the Wrangler and back down the road towards the source of the noise. ROB: They on their way? As the last of the city dwellers disappear behind me, I run my hand across the steering wheel, and down to the ignition. AS: Yeah… yeah they’re on their way. ROB: Ok then... what’re you waitin’ for? With a fateful twist of the key, the Wrangler roars back to life. The wheels kick against the asphalt, transporting me through the streets of the city. As I barrel away from the intersection, I see a small contingent of pursuers rushing around the corner behind me. Rob fires the rifle again, maintaining the attention of the majority. The stragglers fall away in my rear view mirror, losing ground against the Wrangler. I take the first left, then the next possible right, then another left, a few minutes later I eventually find myself on the last stretch of road, leading me back into the vast and empty desert. ROB: So, you gonna make it? AS: Yeah, I’m gonna make it. ROB: Good. That’s good. Miss Sharma, if uh… if you find Marjorie, if you get a chance to let me know… well it’s more than I deserve but-. AS: Of course… of course I will. ROB: I appreciate that. Ok, they’re gonna be here soon so… I’m gonna go radio silent for a while. If I call, you’ll know I made it out. If I don’t call… you just assume I made it out, ok? AS: Please tell me you’re going to be alright, Rob. ROB: … It’s been a real honour drivin’ with you Miss Sharma. The sound of a final shot reverberates through the radio, its echo drowned out by the roaring engine of the Wrangler. The world shifts around me as I burst out of the city, and back onto the desert road. The way ahead is laden with immense possibility, yet as I disappear into the vastness of the desert, I can only think of what I’ve left behind. Rob J Guthard had his flaws, marked by loss, driven by obsession, his good intentions often paving the way to tragedy and heartbreak. As the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, I decide to remember him differently; as a valued friend, a good man and, above all else, a great story. No matter how you tell it. submitted by /u/NeonTempo to r/nosleep [link] [comments]