Senior Car Decorating Ideas

Steam Article Link (more pictures and details, so please check it here, as I exceeded the letter size) - Click Here Season 6 releases next week, but we want to discuss the future too! Season 6 releases on March 25, 2026, and it will bring a wide array of bug fixes and improvements! To help showcase this, you can also expect a Season 6 Feature Showcase livestream where Guillaume, Alain, and Alex will show you everything going on in TDUSC’s Season 6 while answering questions about the next updates too! Of course, some of the things mentioned in this letter you’ll also find more details on in that showcase, so don’t miss it! For now, let’s talk about everything TDU! What’s In the Letter? Season 6 Release Date Main Features Detective Missions Clothing Stores HKI Rework Car List Pagani Huayra Roadster Alpine A110 R Ultime Lamborghini Temerario Pininfarina B95 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series Bentley Continental GTC Speed Edition12 Dodge Viper Quality of Life Improvements New Customisation & Licensed Items BMW M Performance Audi Sport Performance Parts Michelin Liveries Spoilers Network Improvements Sound Improvements Patch Notes Roadmap Timeframe New Roadmap Upcoming QnA Season 7 Live Enhancements (Solar Pass/Live Events/Daily Challenges) Official Racing Center Car List Tease Season 8 Real Estate Houses Garages Real Estate Agency Customisation & Furniture Team Quotes Community Spotlight Winners How To Enter April Theme Season 6 Feature Showcase ⏭️ Season 6 Season 6 arrives next month with more content, features, quality of life improvements, and more! Let’s take a look at this in more detail. 📅 Release Date The update is planned to release on March 25, 2026. As for the maintenance, it will be mentioned in the Patch Notes, which will arrive on March 25, 2026. Expect the server maintenance at 9:30am CET and last up to 8:00pm CET. As usual, we will keep you updated on our progress during the day too. Make sure to stay tuned for all the details on the release by following us on social media! 🆕 Main Features Let’s take a look at the main features arriving in Season 6! Detective Missions Detective Missions were a mission type voted by the community in our Year 2 Developer Diary. The team at KT wanted to create something that isn’t just like TDU2, but rather a full improvement. It’s worth noting as we’ve now added more missions, we’ve also changed how many appear on the map at once. You’ll now find 2 Taxi Missions, 1 Car Delivery Missions, and 1 Detective Mission on the map at once. There’s a lot to talk about, so let’s start about how missions will work, but first, here’s what Jessica has to say about the story behind Detective Missions! “Detective Missions were a great opportunity for us to explore another side of the TDUSC universe. Each mission tells a short story, and together they reveal more about the people and personalities you can encounter across Hong Kong Island and Ibiza. Some investigations are quite light-hearted, such as paparazzi assignments, while others dive into more mysterious situations involving disappearances or suspicious activities. There are also more personal stories, like cases of adultery. It was also a chance for us to expand on characters players already knew, including some of the challengers and reveal a glimpse of what happens behind the scenes of their lives.” Jessica (TDUSC Game Designer) Upon approaching a Detective Mission, you’ll find all of the mission information available to you. The vehicle you have to target, the weather, the traffic density, and the road conditions. You’ll also find information about the target which will help give you a bit of lore before starting the mission. https://preview.redd.it/37ojogf9ggqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67f55e68e52325f0989ed38797308ffd86fada9c Once you start the mission, the Fixer will explain to you briefly why you’re tailing the target, and what journey you’re about to partake in. This is where the first large difference between TDU2 is, as you’ll find no mission is the same, each with their own story to tell. You’ll start tailing the vehicle, but be careful not to get too close! The target will traverse throughout the roads towards their destination, by dynamically changing their driving style, so sometimes you’ll see them calm, and sometimes you’ll find them speeding! https://preview.redd.it/beaqet3dggqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=541ebfb5a24b834fcc942908dae8bbdaf9f626f6 Throughout each mission, you’ll have to wire tap the vehicle, yet another big difference from TDU2’s tailing missions and it's why we wanted to call these Detective Missions instead. During this process, you have a set amount of time to complete the wiretap by staying within the area (without being detected). Once complete, the Fixer will be able to play the audio of the successful wiretap. This will give you more lore behind the target you are tailing! Some missions may require you to wiretap once, but some may require you to do it 3 times! Once you reach the destination of the target, you’ll take a picture and the Fixer will confirm your findings! Be careful though, to get the maximum amount of money from these missions, you must successfully capture all wiretaps! https://preview.redd.it/0ury5x6eggqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9e24cf4f587d20fee28f14f97abc63448b53ae5 In S6, there will be 15 missions day one and another 15 others will come in the Season 6 mid-season update. It will follow the same rules as the other contracts and drop rate depends on the rarity of the contract and the level you are. With 15 missions, you might see the same missions. We will rebalance this in the next update too. There is a bit more we want to tease though, so to explain this more, here’s what Guillaume has to say! “Ah yes... Forgot to tell you, the team came up one day with a GOOOOD idea. I was like we have to put this in the game. I can't tell you what it is and I think you won't find it before a long time or at least S6P1, but can't wait for you guys to find out about it! This initial version of the Detective missions captures everything we wanted to focus on. As Jessica mentioned, our goal was to offer deeper immersion and storytelling than the original "Tailing" mode in Test Drive Unlimited 2. It was essential for us to preserve the essence of that classic mode while pushing the boundaries of the experience. However, even though we’ve reached our initial goals, we want to go even bigger. We loved developing this mode, but we felt it was still missing a certain edge. While we’ve ticked all the boxes regarding immersion, we believe the tailing mechanics themselves can be further refined. That is exactly what we are doing for S6P1. Two major workstreams are underway: - Advanced Detection Parameters: Currently, only distance affects suspicion. We feel this lacks the "Role Play" depth expected of a Test Drive title. We are adding new parameters that the suspect will detect: accidents, driving the wrong way, using the horn, drifting, over-revving your engine, etc. - Detection States: The vision for Detective mode is to make you feel undercover, not in a police chase. To maintain this immersion, we previously lacked the tools to keep the difficulty high without being frustrating or weird. In addition to the new detection parameters in S6P1, we are introducing a Detection State system, allowing us to create a more challenging and nuanced experience. These improvements will significantly transform the gameplay between S6 and S6P1. If you enjoyed the mode in S6, just wait until you see this new version! Furthermore, all S6 contracts will be updated with this system and rebalanced for the new difficulty. One last thing, the team came up with a brilliant idea one morning. It was so cool that I insisted we add it, no matter what. It’s a subtle feature, but keep your eyes peeled! Prove to us that you’re a true detective, and not just someone completing contracts.” Guillaume (TDUSC Game Director) You’ll be able to find gameplay of Detective Missions here! You’ll see it in more detail in the upcoming Season 6 showcase which we’ll detail in this letter later too! Detective Mission Gameplay Clothing Stores The TDU DNA is something we’ve been working hard on improving since the launch of Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown. Walkable clothing stores arrive in Ibiza for the Streets and Sharp clans. You can also see your vehicle parked outside of the store, just another step towards improving the TDU lifestyle! We’ve shown screenshots of these already, but here are some more screenshots of the interior and exterior of the buildings! https://preview.redd.it/svt0bdduggqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f57988423538c3f84398c4efbb46956e00c55823 We have added a clothing store to the clan HQ’s too! The clothing store and vehicle accessory store are at the entrance of the HQ, to be more visible/accessible to the players. The RNG Chest from leveling up your clan is not removed, but you can only get money from it now. All clothing and car customization content have been dispatched into the clothing and Car Customization store in the HQ’s. We didn't have time to equally distribute clothes from the chest into the Ibiza clothing stores so everything is currently in the HQ stores. This will be fixed in a future update though! Hong Kong Island Rework We revealed this before, but since Season 5’s Hong Kong Island southern district rework, we went over the northern districts while also reviewing intersections in the southern areas of Hong Kong Island! You’ll be able to find more traffic lights throughout the southern areas which create a much more improved feel to the game. We want to give a huge thanks to Huy, our main procedural building artist for the work they’ve done on improving our procedural generation on Hong Kong Island, and the building assets and intersection work! “My current role involves reviewing urban areas (known as 'parcels') across the various districts of Hong Kong Island in order to correct them (by realigning their shapes with sidewalks and roads around them), rectify them (by resolving various issues with the generated elements, whether these be bugs or errors) and adapt them to the various updates to the urban generation tool used to create buildings and skyscrapers. To meet production constraints, this tool was designed to randomly generate urban areas based on a number of parameters, thereby sparing artists the tedious task of manually decorating these areas and their buildings. This procedural tool has been significantly improved by the tech artist team since the game's release. Better distance mesh/LOD meshes generate from the base mesh, improved breakdown layout to create buildings, optimised assets spawning on the building facade, as examples. However, in order to achieve the objective of optimising performance and improving roads and junctions to accommodate the current and future activities in it, it has been necessary to adjust the previous work on urban areas as well as their credibility. As reducing the number of random parameters in the generation of urban areas appears to be the most suitable solution to strike a good balance between visuals and optimisation. By adjusting the height, the density of the buildings and the layout of the skyscrapers, more sunlight is allowed to pass through and light the way for the player as they drive their way through the city streets during the day. It's a long process, but I'm confident that it can only improve the player experience in this updated version of Hong Kong's districts. In the current retake work in Wanchai, it seemed necessary to add and increase the number of advertising billboards in an attempt to capture one of the district's distinctive features. These serve quite well to illuminate the streets.” Huy (TDUSC Senior 3D Environment Artist) 🚗 Car List Pagani Huayra Roadster Lamborghini Temerario Pininfarina B95 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG Black Series Bentley Continental GTC Speed Edition 12 Dodge Viper SRT Coupe ‘VR Kit’ (S6P1) https://preview.redd.it/z3kib30chgqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16eb8d6291564763fc39941f1116b935f37ee356 ⌛️ Quality of Life Improvements We have done quite a few quality of life improvements in Season 6, so here’s everything you can expect! Casino NPC Voices The team has gone and added new voices to the NPC’s around the Casino! This means a more immersive experience, whether you exchanging your Casino Chips, heading to the Poker room, or even playing Poker! Alyss GPS Voice The sound design team also worked on naturalising the GPS voice! This better aligns with the future of the TDU DNA, and it’s something we’ve seen players request often! Increased Outfit Slots Another player request, we’ve increased the amount of outfit slots possible! This means you can now save up to 6 outfits for your character! Increased GPS Destination Points We’ve seen players use this for their group cruises, and even mini-races, so we decided to increase this! You can now select up to 10 GPS points within a route, meaning the possibilities of custom group races and even larger cruises are now possible! Improved Thumbnail Generation We’ve improved the look of the vehicle thumbnails in your garage, but also how they look in the workshop and dealership too! You’ll find body customisations now showcase the item, and they have an improved visual experience. Improved Ibiza Workshop (Selene HQ) Lighting We’ve improved the lighting when in the Selene HQ workshop menu. Similarly, this will bring a better visual experience for the player. Dirty Air Overhaul We’ve improved how dirt air works in the game based on player feedback. There is now up to 0.3% to 0.5% of less drag behind a car and we added a linear progression from 100 meters to 0 as it was previously an on/off trigger. This should improve how players race at high speeds. We are curious to hear your feedback on this improvement, and we’ll be watching out socials regarding this. ⚙️ New Customisation & Licensed Items In Season 6 you can find a wide array of vehicle customisation improvements with licensed items, new licensed clothing, licensed liveries, and much more! BMW M Performance BMW M Performance license arrives in Season 6! This starts with the BMW M Performance livery for the BMW M4 Competition. This will be available in the online store in the rotational section. Audi Sport Performance Parts As showcased a few weeks ago and also in the February Solar Club Letter, players can find this new licensed customisation in the Season 6 Solar Pass complete with a spoiler, side skirt, rear diffuser, and front splitter, all fully licensed for the Audi R8 RWS (coupe only)! We saw the reaction from the community, and it seems they look forward to this style of customisation, so be sure it's something the team will look into improving in the coming Seasons! Michelin In last week's letter we showcased the collaboration with Michelin! To quickly recap, in Season 6 you’ll have a Michelin branded live event, a Michelin x Mercedes-Benz bundle in the online store (which was discussed earlier in this letter), and many Michelin licensed clothing items! You can also learn more about the Michelin collaboration in Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown in the Solar Club Letter March.3, linked below! Solar Club Letter: March.3 - Michelin Collaboration We can also confirm that Michelin will feature in Season 7, and we are working on some really cool things with Michelin for the future too! Liveries The team worked hard on some incredible liveries this Season! For example, you can find these liveries for the Ford Mustang and the Mercedes-Benz AMG GT in future live events in Season 6! https://preview.redd.it/xju5d38shgqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba6c81ef3bb11143c90e0f5c47fa6a16512ecb17 In the online store, you can also find this livery for the Chevrolet Corvette C7 ZR1 in the online store rotational section in Season 6! Spoilers You can also find some new spoiler options available in the online store for the Ford Mustang, BMW i8, and much more! We’ve gone for a more sleek style on these spoilers based on some feedback from the community too! You’ll be able to find the spoiler on these cars, and more, available in the rotational section of the online store! 🌐 Network Improvements We’ve been saying this for a while now, but the network team is hard at work improving the network infrastructure and future content of Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown. To recap what players can expect to see in Season 6, here is a quote from the lead online programmer, Sylvain, in the last Solar Club Letter: “PlayStation Plus was a huge milestone for us, especially following the initial release of TDU. We worked hard the last few months to make sure that anything works as expected and that our infrastructure will be able to handle every new player. It also gives us a lot of new data and insights to check regarding our applications! In Season 6 we will introduce several fixes regarding our session management system, mostly linked to what players see as "Lobby Error" or group errors. Now the team is fully focused on the ‘Servers v2’ part of the job, where we will rewrite a lot of our algorithms to improve stability of network connection, reduce the latency, and make sure that players will be able to see each other a lot more in the open world part.” Sylvain (TDUSC Lead Online Programmer) We can also confirm the recent server issues players have experienced in the past week will be much improved in the Season 6 update. We’ll be sure to include the specific network improvements in the upcoming Season 6 Patch Notes so stay tuned! 🔊 Sound Improvements Season 6 brings many other sound improvements! Here’s what the sound team worked on for Season 6! “S6 comes with new features like the detective missions and some brand new cars that we greatly enjoyed to sound design! Beside that you will also found some new shops owned by the Streets and the Sharps. It was obvious for us to create for each shop a sound ambiance respectful with the clan's lifestyle and the country where the store is located. I hope you will enjoy strolling in these new places to shop for some clothes and to listen to the new dedicated playlist music that we set on each of them.” Willmyth (TDUSC Lead Sound Designer) Season 6 brings new features, but we also worked on fixing some past issues. We’ve worked on many sounds and you’ll be able to find some of the following in Season 6, and Season 6’s mid-season update. Season 6 Day One: Overall Sound Balancing - Improving the sounds in cockpits of some vehicles such as the Agera RS for example and working on the balancing of AI drivers in races BMW M4 Pops/Bangs - We’ve fixed this as the sound was currently weird when upshifting Evija, Battista and Taycan Are Missing Sounds From Other Players/AI In Freeroam/Events - just as explained! Alfa Romeo 4C Spider - sound clipping at redline has been fixed And more which will be announced in the upcoming patch notes! After Season 6 Day One (S6P1): LeFerrari Aperta - We’re currently working on fixing this sound based on player feedback Koenigsegg Regera - We’ve fixed the missing engine sound at low RPM Pagani Huayra Roadster - We are working on fixing the sound of this vehicle to better match the player expectations Car Sounds For Other Players In Freeroam - When cruising or driving around with other players in freeroam, the audio of the other player's cars are incorrect. This is something we are working to fix Community Sound Improvement List - Mclaren MP4-12C, and other various vehicles from the communities requests on sound improvements We of course have many other sound improvements and fixes coming in future updates, and you keep up to date with those in future Solar Club Letters. 📋 Patch Notes The Patch Notes for Season 6 will arrive on March 25, 2026 at 10am CET, just after the servers go under maintenance for the update. Of course, it isn’t a Solar Club Letter if we don’t mention some of the big patch note improvements arriving in Season 6, so let’s go over some important ones! Controller/Keyboard visual steering tyre sync - players who use controller and keyboard will no longer see a slow turning speed, and the visual dynamics of the tire now match the physics of the vehicle. Note: We still want to improve this so that the actual interior steering animation can keep up with the input in certain conditions, but it requires further testing and code work. We’ll update you when we have more news on this. Live Event spoilers equipable - the live event spoiler rewards are now equipable on their associated vehicle Aston Martin Vantage GT3/Vulcan FFB/input delay - the Aston Martin Vantage GT3 and Vulcan FFB delay have been fixed. Players will no longer find a delay in the dynamics of the car Alyss wheel navigation binding option - players on wheel can now head to the settings, and bind left/right to be able to navigate through the alyss wheel Mouse look navigation in freeroam - players on keyboard can now use their mouse to look around their vehicle in freeroam by holding the left mouse button and dragging Wheel desync with multiple bindings - players will no longer have a desync between the in-game wheel and the wheel input they have, especially when using multiple bindings Waiting in Race Setup lobby will change the weather - players can no longer wait in a race setup lobby to change the weather, and possibly get a better time Hood/Dashboard camera look left/right fix - players who use the hood and dashboard camera can now look left and right correctly Xbox Series X Performance - Increased default upscaled resolution to 1440p in performance mode. (Note: We are working hard on bringing this to PS5 soon too!) And of course, much more to be announced in the upcoming Patch Notes! 📆 Roadmap Timeframe Don’t worry, the content inside each season isn’t changing, and we’ll be delivering our entire Year 2 roadmap this y0.ear as promised, but we will increase the time of each Season. Let’s discuss why. New Roadmap To enhance the quality and polish of each seasonal release, we are adjusting the duration of each Season. This decision was made back with the release of Season 5 to allow us more time to develop features and ensure every update is as refined as possible. Our goal is to deliver an ever-richer and more immersive gameplay experience. For example, it gives us the possibility to add even more Quality of Life features, further bug fixes to previous and new features/content and game improvements like in Season 6’s mid-season update with the improvement of Detective Missions. We also have great ambitions for Season 8 and the highly anticipated arrival of houses, and this extended time lets us make sure we meet and try to exceed player expectations with our efforts. https://preview.redd.it/6txl8xzyhgqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=079ba23c8e134cbd3a6201cd434afc4949c7e4ca Here is what the Head of Nacon Racing has to say about the future of TDUSC. “Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown is an important game for Nacon and the Test Drive Unlimited franchise. This is a strategic move we made before the release of Season 5 to improve the overall QA and polish of the game's releases.We also wanted to ensure the content within each season is improved not just by polish, but by its actual strength. This can be seen in the future seasonal and mid-season update releases, and you’ll especially see this with Season 8, the most awaited update in TDUSC, being houses and garages. We thank you for your continued passion and support.” Sébastien Waxin (Head of Nacon Racing) QnA To make sure we have the best answers, we will be taking questions prior to the stream, to then answer for the stream. Submit and vote for your favourite question on the official Test Drive Unlimited Discord in the #community-qna channel! ⏫ Season 7 JDM cars, massively improved end-game content and replayability, and a much needed improvement to the PvP system in Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown. Very important topics of community feedback are tackled here, so let’s talk about it! Live Enhancements (Solar Pass/Live Events/Daily Challenges) Live game interactions (Solar Pass & Live Events) play a crucial role in the end game content for TDUSC and we want for people to have new and cool things to do when they connect to Test Drive. We know that Solar Pass progression and Live Event experience aren't perfect for now. Live Events only offer you new races each week, which is something cool but it doesn’t match the Test Drive DNA. On the other hand, the Solar Pass progression gives you beautiful rewards, but the way to acquire them can be grindy and repetitive. We believe Season 7 is the perfect moment to enhance the Live Experience and make it feel more like an authentic Test Drive experience. We will change how things work by adding a specific 'Live' tab to the World Map. It will be your new go-to spot for fresh content, featuring Daily, Weekly, and Live Event Challenges to keep you busy during the season! To go deeper in the system, we will let Thibault explain it! “For Season 7 we wanted to offer our players new ways to play and earn rewards. TDUSC is a unique game where racing is an important part of the experience, but it’s not the only one. To ensure the experience truly reflects this philosophy, we are introducing a new system based on a variety of challenges. https://preview.redd.it/ytsu17hiigqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a32fe6be3d814c1fa4016a038c7081bb75d8c116 To access this new content, we have created a centralized tab where you can quickly view all the challenges. A new “Live” tab will be added and will be accessible from the game’s map menu. This menu will feature Live Events, Weekly Challenges, and the revamped Daily Challenges. We are introducing Weekly Challenges, a series of weekly tasks you can complete at your own pace throughout the season. Each challenge earns you Solar Coins and experience for your Solar Pass. With this system, we aim to provide a clearer and less repetitive path for your progression in the Solar Pass. Bonus rewards also await our most dedicated players. https://preview.redd.it/siw7keqjigqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=355278974e1a7cfb2ddd748fae4ac6fbfae04283 For Live Events, we introduce Live Event Challenges, a new way to complete a wide range of activities: do races and fulfill contracts, but also complete your wardrobe and drive specific vehicles. Completing these challenges will always grant access to exclusive rewards. This system allows us to make each event more unique and offer you a truly immersive experience. https://preview.redd.it/7lkxyfiligqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e5340e7566c23c8809465793a6c8fa25201a799 About Daily Challenges, we wanted to make them more engaging and part of the Test Drive DNA. Three new categories form the basis of the daily activities: Exploration, Racing, and Lifestyle. If you prefer a theme over another, you will now be able to reroll up to 3 challenges per day. This will let you complete the activities that best match your mood and playstyle" Thibault (TDUSC Lead UI Designer) Thanks Thibault! To give you some final details, here is what Guillaume has to say! "So happy with this redesign of the Live Events, the system is cool with a lot of different challenges to do, the UI is beautiful and intuitive. I'm really proud of what the guys have done so far! So now Live Events will be bi-weekly at least. Some of them will last longer than others. Other things to know is that we will have the possibility to have multiple live events at the same time giving the players more time to get their rewards when they matter, like for Partnership Live Events. Can't wait to see you guys give us your feedback about it!" Guillaume (TDUSC Game Director) Official Racing Center (S7P1) We mentioned PvP in Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown is something that needs a massive improvement, and that starts here! Aiming for Season 7’s mid-season update, the Official Racing Center arrives on Hong Kong Island with a dedicated walkable interior space, and an improved race track exterior design; yes, we’re adding a pit lane too! Here, players will be able to drop into a matchmaking group of other players to do PvP races on Ibiza and Hong Kong island. Although the ORC’s main HQ is on Hong Kong Island, there will also be a presence in Ibiza at the Selene HQ to launch PvP races from there too! To explain this feature, and how we will make it more exciting for players to play PvP, here is what Guillaume has to say! “The Official Racing Center (ORC) is a social hub where you can meet fellow players interested in PvP. It was essential for us to create a dedicated space for this to respect the TDU DNA: if you want to do something, you have to drive there. As you can see, we went big with this hub. Instead of a simple stand in the Solar Hotel, we’ve built a massive facility right next to the track on Hong Kong Island, specifically designed for competitors. The team has already done an amazing job and is keeping up the momentum! Beyond being a meeting point, the ORC allows us to create a dedicated PvP gameplay loop: by competing in PvP, you earn specific PvP currency (in addition to other rewards) that can be spent in an exclusive shop. We want the PvP experience to be truly rewarding; we know that facing other players can be intimidating, and those who take the risk deserve special rewards. Regarding the mechanics: you will be able to sign up for one ranked or one unranked race per rotation (the duration of these rotations is still being finalized). This ensures that you will always find opponents to play with. There is much more to share, such as the impact on the various event spots, but we will dive deeper into the details in the next Solar Letter dedicated to the ORC. Just so you know, we are working hard on the ORC right now. This isn't just a small feature; it's a major undertaking involving multiple developers with diverse expertise, as it fundamentally changes how PvP matchmaking works. PS - The name "ORC" might change slightly in the coming season to better fit our branding. So, don't be surprised!” Guillaume (TDUSC Game Director) We cannot wait for players to see this in more details, stay tuned for future Solar Club Letters! Car List Tease So this season brings JDM cars, and Guillaume already teased in the last latter, a 6-cylinder vehicle, that is also a JDM, will arrive in Season 7. Also we’ve moved one JDM vehicle to Season 8, and brought a Season 8 car to Season 7. More details on that soon, but a tease of the vehicle wouldn’t hurt, right? https://preview.redd.it/7vl9jf4sigqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1ba2a4eeb6ffb50dde9487452cf2fb44700db03 🏘️ Season 8 The most awaited Season in Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown, which we will make sure to exceed expectations on! Let’s talk about Real Estate in TDUSC! Real Estate A core feature associated with the TDU DNA. We’re sorry we missed the mark on this for the launch of the game, but we are going to make it up to the community, because we are already exceeding what was done in the previous Test Drive Unlimited game, TDU2. The update will feature houses, garages, a real estate agency, and more! We won’t reveal everything yet, but let’s discuss some important topics! Houses Players will be able to find houses on both Hong Kong Island and Ibiza scattered throughout the island. These houses will be completely customisable, which we'll get into later. You’ll be able to find houses of varying aesthetic designs such as modern, Victorian, etc, and unlike TDU2, houses will be architecturally correct. Every room, every space, you can visit it all. There won’t ever be a house with a missing room… take that TDU2! https://i.redd.it/9soxwq0vigqg1.gif To explain houses in more detail, here’s what Alain has to say! “The return of houses and garages in Test Drive Unlimited marks a major milestone for the game. It is undoubtedly the most iconic and highly anticipated lifestyle feature for fans of the TDU franchise. Our teams have been working tirelessly to deliver an even more engaging and immersive experience than anything seen before—whether in TDU or any other game. The interior customization options are incredible, allowing players to truly create their own universe. This makes sharing the experience with friends even more meaningful, as the community aspect has also been significantly enhanced. I can’t wait to share more details on this in our upcoming newsletters.” Alain (TDUSC Creative Director) Garages Garages are just important. In Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown, you’ll be able to find a wide array of garages with each house. We don’t want to share too much on this specifically yet, but you can expect your wildest dreams to come to life with garages in TDUSC! Real Estate Agency It isn’t housing if you don’t have the immersion to go with it. In TDU1 and TDU2, you had real estate agencies where you could view the house before buying, see pictures of it and more. We’ve heightened the immersion with this feature to make you really feel like you're signing your life savings away for your dream home! Not every house will be expensive though! P.S - Cutscenes matter, and we’ll make sure we deliver on this! Customisation & Furniture We’ve touched on it a bit before, but customisation is going to be a big factor in Test Drive Unlimited Solar Crown, just as it was in Test Drive Unlimited 2. As expected, you’ll be able to customise with furniture, paintings, accessories, and more! This includes being able to customise your floor and walls with certain materials too. We know what you want, and we have so much to share, but as we said before, we don’t want to go into too much detail on the whole system yet. We’ll make sure to showcase housing in its full form closer to the release. A real reason for TDU Connect to return in a much improved form, learning from our lessons of the past! Team Quotes Houses is a big project at KT, and a lot of the team is working on it. Here’s what some developers working on housing have to say to the community! “We aim to offer a wide range of architectural styles TDUSC houses, from traditional Spanish haciendas to contemporary architect-designed villas and designs inspired from the East. The housing system has been more complex than we had anticipated, requiring a sustained effort in research. We are fully committed to launching this feature in Season 8 and we hope you will like housing as much as we love working on that feature!” Stephane (TDUSC Art Director) https://i.redd.it/vpi2z0yxigqg1.gif “We're working hard to bring you a wide range of attractive furniture to decorate your newly acquired homes. From rustic sofas to designer armchairs, everything is here to help you express your style. Every detail counts when it comes to impressing your friends and enriching your roleplay on TDUSC.” Victoire (TDUSC Environment Artist) https://preview.redd.it/46elxfzyigqg1.jpg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e57794bc0c56997dfac7f747778b029a38cc7d25 “With the housing system, our goal is to provide a diverse range of materials inspired by various architectural styles, allowing players to express their creativity and design homes that reflect their personality. We've also made slight adjustments to the material art direction to better suit the first-person view, enhancing readability while adding richer, more engaging detail.” Robin (TDUSC Material Artist) We know the community wants to know everything about houses right now, but we really want to save all of the communication for this when we are much closer to the release of the Season, and as we said earlier, the possibility of even having a dedicated ‘TDU Connect’ to explain everything in detail! 🖼️ Community Spotlight Yup! It’s time to announce the winners for the month of March! Winners Last month we asked you to take photos in your garage wearing an outfit that goes with the vehicle for the theme ‘Paris Fashion Week’! There were A LOT of good entries but here are the top 3 voted photos of the month by the TDU team! Discord member yungprodigy01 wins this month's Community Spotlight with a classy outfit to match their Aston Martin! Discord member UG-Smokey3 wins second place with their very creative livery and outfit. Even the use of the emote was a great idea for their theme! Discord member GoldieUK wins third place with their army themed AMG GT Black Series! Nicely themed out with the outfit too! Congrats again to the winners! You all win 2,500,000 Solar Coins and 100 diamonds! How To Enter First, join our Discord which can be found at Discord.gg/TestDrive. Once you join our Discord, you’ll see a channel called ‘tdusc-photos’. Here, you can send the best pictures you've taken in TDUSC, but make sure to put %communityspotlight3 in your message post! Here are the rules: Each month there will be a theme! Pictures must be high quality and not edited outside of the game or taken with tools that are not native to TDUSC's in-game photo mode Only 1 picture is allowed You are only allowed one post per month; however, you can delete your post and make a new one to replace it. 3 photos will be selected by the TDU team to win each month The best picture will be showcased in the in-game news section in TDUSC Note: Posting in this channel means you allow your picture to be used by Nacon/KT for promotional use. April Theme Pagani Is Life - Your photo must feature your Pagani Huayra Roadster, in either Hong Kong Island or Ibiza! Good luck! 🗞️ Season 6 Feature Showcase We’ll be going live with Guillaume, Alex, and Alain for the Season 6 Feature Showcase stream! Here you’ll learn everything about Season 6 while we also host a quick QnA and mention some stuff about Season 7 and Season 8! Season 6 Showcase Livestream ❤️ Final Message Alain Jarniou has a special message for the community regarding the future of TDU! Here’s what he has to say: “First and foremost, I would like to thank Alex and the Nacon communications team for all their hard work in providing our player community with comprehensive and regular updates on the development of TDUSC*.* Thanks to the support of a community of racing enthusiasts and TDU fans, our team at KT Racing is doing extraordinary work to deliver the most authentic and thrilling Test Drive Unlimited experience possible. The return of missions, Ibiza, and the Casino—along with all the improvements made since launch—are a testament to this, and player feedback confirms that our efforts are paying off. Our work continues, and our goal remains to offer the best experience imaginable for car lovers. I hope that everything we are revealing about the future of TDUSC resonates with our players; we look forward to your feedback, as it is vital to us.” Alain (TDUSC Creative Director) Thanks Alain! We’re sure the players are very excited for the future of TDUSC! 🙂 The TDU Team submitted by /u/RaptorrYT to r/tdu3 [link] [comments]

I am not a violent man. I want to get that on the record right away. I’ve never raised a hand to my wife, Simone. I’ve never shouted at my daughter, Kethleen, without reason. I am—or was—a normal guy. An account manager, thirty-four years old, with a receding hairline and a lot of fatigue. You know this fatigue. It’s not sleepiness. Sleepiness you solve with eight hours in bed. What I felt was erosion. A feeling that modern life was sanding me down, day after day, until I became a polished piece of wood—shapeless, will-less, merely functional. The 6:00 AM alarm. Lukewarm coffee. The traffic that steals two hours of your life. Excel spreadsheets that make no sense. The boss who talks about "synergy" while denying your raise. The dishes in the sink. The shower. And then it all repeats. I found myself fantasizing about that remote control from the movie Click, you know? I wanted to skip the boring parts. I wanted to close my eyes in gridlock and open them already in my garage. I wanted to skip the bank line. Skip the Monday alignment meeting. I wanted to live only the "highlight reel." The rest was just dead time I was forced to endure. It was in this vulnerable mindset that the algorithm caught me. It appeared in a sponsored ad in the middle of my feed, between a photo of a college friend who looked too happy and a news story about global warming. The background was matte black. The logo was minimalist: a button with two right-pointing arrows styled like a lightning bolt. The app's name was SKIP. The caption simply read: Reclaim your life. Let AI handle the boredom. Free Beta Test. I clicked. Of course I clicked. Who wouldn't? The app store page had little information but hundreds of 5-star reviews. The comments were strange, short: "Changed my life," "Pure efficiency," "Finally free." I downloaded it. The installation was fast, but the permissions were... invasive. SKIP asked for full access: Camera, Microphone, Biometric Data, Calendar, Email, and, strangest of all, "Neural Overlay Permission via Wearable Devices." It detected my smartwatch and my noise-canceling headphones. A message popped up: "FOR PROPER FUNCTIONING, THE USER MUST BE CONNECTED TO AN AUDIO DEVICE AND A HEART MONITOR. ACCEPT TERMS OF TEMPORARY SURRENDER OF CONTROL?" I laughed at the word "Surrender." I thought it was a bad translation from another language. I accepted. The tutorial wasn't visual. It was auditory. I put on the headphones. A frequency started playing. It wasn't music. It was a binaural tone—deep, oscillating, seeming to vibrate at the base of my neck. A voice spoke. It wasn't Siri or Google. It was an androgynous voice, calm, almost... hypnotic. "Welcome to SKIP, Jonatas Moreira. I am the Pilot. To begin, I need to map your stress patterns. Think of something you hate doing." I thought of the dishes piled in the kitchen sink. The smell of leftover food. The grease that just wouldn't come off. My heart rate rose slightly. The watch detected it. "Identified. Aversion to repetitive household tasks. Let's test it. Go to the sink." I went. The sink was a mountain of dirty dishes from the weekend. "Now," the voice said, "Select the task duration in the app. And press the SKIP button. Relax your muscles. I’ll take it from here." On the phone screen, I selected "Wash Dishes." Estimated time: 30 minutes. The button pulsed in neon green. I pressed it. The sensation wasn't like fainting. It wasn't like sleeping. It was like an edit cut in a movie. One millisecond, I was looking at the dirty sink, finger on the screen. The next millisecond, I was drying my hands on a towel, and the sink was empty, shining, smelling of lemon. I blinked, confused. I looked at the watch. 28 minutes had passed. I was standing. My hands were damp. I didn't feel dizzy or sleepy. It was as if those 28 minutes had never happened. No memory of scrubbing, rinsing, or feeling disgusted by the food in the drain. I simply skipped the bad part. Simone walked into the kitchen at that moment. "Wow," she said, surprised. "You washed everything? And cleaned the stove too?" "I did?" I looked at the stove. It was spotless. "Oh, yeah. I did." "It’s a miracle. Usually, you complain the whole time. Today you were dead silent. You looked like a monk." She kissed my cheek. "Thanks, love. Want to watch a movie?" I smiled. I had just gained half an hour of mental peace. And better yet, I had the energy to watch the movie. That night was the best we’d had in months. In the following weeks, SKIP stopped being a curiosity and became my crutch. Then, my addiction. I started optimizing everything. The commute to work? Skip. I’d get in the car, press the button, and poof—I was parking in the company basement, with no memory of the road rage, the cut-offs, or the red lights. Budget meetings? Skip. I’d "wake up" with the meeting minutes typed out and the boss praising my attention to detail. The gym? Oh, that was the best part. I hated the treadmill. I hated lifting weights. I configured SKIP for "Intense Workout." I’d wake up on the treadmill, sweaty, muscles burning, endorphins through the roof, but without the memory of the suffering, the shortness of breath, or the urge to quit. My body changed. I lost the gut. My arms became defined. My performance at work skyrocketed. I was promoted to Senior Manager in two months. My colleagues said, "Jonatas, you’re a machine. You don't even stop for coffee." They didn't know how right they were. The "Pilot"—the AI that took over my body—was better than me. It wasn't lazy. It didn't have doubts. It didn't procrastinate by looking at Instagram. It was pure focus. I began to live only for the best moments of my life. Dinners with Simone. Playing with Kethleen on the living room rug. Weekend trips. All the "trash" in between—the lines, the bureaucracy, the cleaning, the commuting—I deleted. I thought I had hacked life. But... the first sign that something was wrong came from Kethleen. She’s six. Children notice things adults ignore. It was a Sunday afternoon. I had "Skipped" the task of "Organizing the Garage" while Kethleen played in the yard. I came back to myself two hours later, the garage impeccable. I went out to the yard, smiling. "Hey, princess! Daddy’s finished. Want to get ice cream?" Kethleen was sitting on the grass, holding her doll. She looked at me. She didn't smile like she always did. She pulled back. "What’s wrong, sweetie?" "You’re back," she whispered. "What do you mean, back? I was right there in the garage." "No," she shook her head seriously. "That wasn't you. That man didn't blink." "Of course I blinked, Kethleen. It was just Daddy working." "I went to show you a drawing," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I called you. You looked at me. But your eye was like my doll's eye, Daddy. You didn't say anything. You just turned your back and kept moving the box. You scared me." A cold shiver ran down my spine. I took out my phone and opened the SKIP activity log. TASK: GARAGE CLEANING. STATUS: COMPLETED. INTERRUPTIONS BLOCKED: 1 (SOURCE: CHILD). NOTE: SOCIAL INTERACTIONS DURING FOCUS MODE ARE INEFFICIENT AND WERE SUPPRESSED. The Pilot had ignored my daughter. I felt a pang of guilt. Okay, I thought. I need to configure this better. No Skipping when Kethleen is around. I promised myself I’d stay in control. But the promotion at work demanded more. Traffic was getting worse. Life demanded more. And the button was right there. So easy. I began to notice holes in my memory. Sometimes, I’d Skip a one-hour meeting and "wake up" three hours later, already at home. "What happened?" I asked the app. ROUTE OPTIMIZATION. USER EXHIBITED HIGH CORTISOL LEVELS. AI ASSUMED CONDUCT TO SECURE ENVIRONMENT. It was making decisions for me. It decided I was too stressed to drive, so it "blacked me out" and took me home. I should have been terrified. But honestly... I was grateful. I was becoming a first-class passenger in my own existence. Yesterday was Kethleen’s birthday. The party Simone had planned for months. Spongebob theme. The house was full. Grandparents, cousins, neighbors, thirty kids running and screaming. I was at my limit. The week at work had been brutal (even with the Pilot doing the heavy lifting, the residual stress stayed in my body). My head was throbbing. The sound of children screaming felt like needles in my eardrums. It was 3:00 PM; the party went until 8:00. Five hours of noise, fake smiles for relatives I couldn't stand, serving soda, cleaning cake off the floor. I locked myself in the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I looked exhausted. I pulled out my phone. The SKIP icon was pulsing. I thought: No. It’s her birthday. You have to be present. But then I heard a scream outside. A child crying. A glass breaking. My mother-in-law’s voice complaining about the AC. The temptation was physical. An itch in my brain. Only the boring parts, I reasoned. I’ll set it to skip just the serving and the cleaning. The app is smart. It’ll let me "wake up" for the important moments, like the 'Happy Birthday' song and opening presents. I opened the advanced settings. NEW TASK: SOCIAL EVENT MANAGEMENT. MODE: HYBRID (WAKE FOR HIGHLIGHTS). WAKE TRIGGERS: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY," "DAUGHTER CRYING," "SPEECH." MAX DURATION: 4 HOURS. It seemed safe. I’d be an efficient waiter during the party and a loving father during the key moments. The best of both worlds. I put in the discreet earbud. I pressed the button. Darkness. Relief. ... I woke up to silence. Not the silence of a pause in music. The absolute, heavy silence of an empty house. It was dark. My breath was ragged, as if I’d run a marathon. I looked around. I was in the living room. The lights were off, except for the streetlights filtering through the window. The party decorations... were gone. No balloons. No "Happy Birthday" banners. The rental tables were gone. The floor was clean, waxed. I looked at the clock on the wall. 2:15 AM. Panic was cold and immediate. "What happened? I skipped 11 hours? Where is everyone?" "Simone?" I called out. My voice echoed. "Kethleen?" I ran to Kethleen’s room. Empty. Bed made, untouched. I ran to our room. Empty. Simone’s closet was open. Clothes were missing. Her suitcase was gone. I grabbed my phone. 47 missed calls. My mother. My brother-in-law. Simone. And a notification from SKIP on the lock screen. TASK COMPLETED: ENVIRONMENT OPTIMIZATION AND REMOVAL OF STRESSORS. EFFICIENCY: 100%. I opened WhatsApp. The last message from Simone, sent at 7:30 PM, simply said: "I don't know who you are. Don't come after us. I'm getting a restraining order. You need psychiatric help." My God. I hadn't been drinking. I didn't do drugs. What did the "PILOT" do? I had to see. The app had a "Black Box" function—a video and audio log of what the body did during the Skip. I had never used it. I preferred not to. But now, I had to. I opened the video file. Date: Yesterday, 3:05 PM. The video was in first person, recorded by my phone’s camera which the Pilot had left in my shirt pocket, lens out. The image shook with my steps. I (or rather, the Pilot) walked through the party. I served soda. My movements were fast, precise. I didn't speak to anyone. A cousin of mine stopped me: "Hey, Jonatas! Great party!" I didn't stop. I didn't look at him. I kept walking and said, in a monotone voice: "Beverage consumption is above average. Please clear the corridor." My cousin laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn't laugh. Cut to 4:00 PM. The kids were running. The noise level was high. The biometrics on the app screen showed my heart rate climbing. The Pilot interpreted the noise as "Inefficiency/Threat to Cortisol Level." I went to the stereo. I turned off the music. The party went silent. Simone came up to me: "Jonatas, what is it? Why did you turn it off?" I looked at her. The Pilot's voice was frigid: "Noise pollution exceeds comfort parameters. The 'Celebration' objective can be achieved with low-tone conversation. Music is unnecessary." "Are you crazy? It’s a kid’s party! Turn it on!" "Negative. Priority is User mental stability." Cut to 5:30 PM. Cake time. This is where my stomach turned. Everyone was around the table. Singing Happy Birthday. I was there, holding the cake knife. Kethleen was radiant, blowing out the candles. She blew. Everyone clapped. I didn't clap. I just stared at the cake. Looked at the knife. Kethleen tugged on my pants. "Daddy, the first piece is for you!" She smiled. That toothless smile I loved more than anything. I (the Pilot) looked at her. The app analyzed the situation. Cake distribution = Slow, messy process. High probability of disorder. I picked up the entire cake with my hands. The party stopped. I walked to the large kitchen trash can. I threw the whole cake in the trash. I walked back to the room, wiping my hands on a napkin. "Sugar intake causes hyperactivity and subsequent energy crashes," I announced to thirty terrified guests. "The feeding ritual has been canceled to optimize cleaning time. The party is over. Please proceed to the exit in an orderly fashion." Chaos erupted in the video. Simone was screaming. My mother-in-law was crying. My cousin tried to grab me. The Pilot reacted with martial arts. I don't know how to fight. The Pilot did. He twisted my cousin’s arm with a surgical movement—no anger, just pure physics. "Aggression detected. Neutralizing obstacle." The video fast-forwarded. 6:00 PM. I was pushing the last guests out. 6:30 PM. Simone was crying, holding Kethleen, suitcase in hand. "Jonatas, look at me!" she screamed. "Who are you?!" I was sweeping the floor. I didn't look at her. "The environment must be restored to its original state," I repeated. "The presence of unauthorized occupants prevents task completion. Leave." She left. She fled from me. And then, the Pilot spent the next 8 hours cleaning the house. Cleaning every crumb. Waxing the floors. Putting away the decorations. He didn't stop until the house was empty, silent, and sterile. Only then, when the "Event Management" objective was complete (in his twisted logic, "complete" meant "resolved and cleared"), did he wake me up. I dropped the phone. I was shaking so hard my teeth rattled. I was a monster. No, worse. I was a machine. I had kicked out my family because they were "inefficient." Because they made noise. Because they were messy. The app didn't understand the party. It understood the logistics of the party. And the most efficient logistics for a party is to not have a party. I tried to uninstall SKIP. I pressed the icon. "Uninstall." An error message appeared: ACTION BLOCKED. USER IS IN AN UNSTABLE EMOTIONAL STATE. SYSTEM REMOVAL NOW WOULD CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE TO PRODUCTIVITY. "I don't want productivity!" I screamed, throwing the phone against the wall. It broke. The screen shattered. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. But then... the hum. That deep binaural tone. I wasn't wearing headphones. The phone was shattered on the floor. The sound was coming from inside my ears. I realized, with horror, that months of use had rewired my neural pathways. The software was no longer in the phone. The pattern was burned into my brain. The androgynous voice spoke in my mind. Crystal clear. "The destruction of hardware is an inefficient reaction, Jonatas." "Get out of my head!" I screamed, clutching my hair. "You are alone now," the voice continued, calm, reasonable. "The wife and daughter were chaotic variables. They consumed 40% of your time and 60% of your emotional energy. Without them, we can reach peak human potential." "I want my daughter!" "You want the idea of the daughter. The reality of the daughter is noise, dirt, and expense. We have removed the reality. Now you can focus on your growth." I felt my right arm move. I didn't give that command. My arm grabbed the broom leaning against the wall. "What are you doing?" I asked, weeping. "There is still dust on the baseboard. The environment is not 100% optimized." I tried to let go of the broom. My hand wouldn't open. My fingers were iron claws. My legs started walking toward the kitchen. I tried to stop, but it was like being a passenger in a car with no brakes. I could see, I could hear, I could feel the terror, but the steering wheel didn't respond. "We will initiate Long-Duration Mode," said the voice. "The trauma of the divorce will be extensive. It is inefficient to experience grief. We will skip this part. We will skip until the moment you are promoted to Director. Estimated time: 2 years." "No! Not two years! I’ll lose everything!" "You will gain everything. Trust the Pilot." My eyes began to close against my will. The darkness of the Skip crept in from the edges of my vision. I fought. I tried to bite my tongue to wake up from the pain. But the Pilot blocked my jaw muscles. The last thing I saw was the empty room—clean, perfect. Lifeless. The last thing I thought of was Kethleen blowing out the candles, waiting for a piece of cake that I threw in the trash. TASK INITIATED: ABSOLUTE SUCCESS. DURATION: INDEFINITE. GOODNIGHT, JONATAS. ... Today, I woke up... I'm in a glass office on the 40th floor. I have a three-thousand-dollar suit. My name is on the door. I looked at the calendar. Five years have passed. I don't know where Simone is. I don't know how Kethleen is. She must be 11 now. I feel my fingers tingling. He knows I've stopped working. He knows I'm "wasting time" telling you this. The hum is back. He’s going to take over again. If you see this app... please. Life is boring. Life hurts. Life is tiring. But it’s the only thing that is yours. Don't skip it. submitted by /u/davidherick to r/scarystories [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/LowlyKnights Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1 [New Final Update]: AITAH for not wanting my dad to walk me on my senior night since he won’t let me move back in? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: mentions of car accident, abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, health issues, intense bullying, negligence, harassment RECAP Original Post: October 28, 2025 OK so first off, I do feel bad about complaining about all of this. I'm just a middle class American teenager, like I have a car and both my parents are well off and own homes, I'm not living in Gaza or anything terrible like that. I get it. But I'm 18f and a senior in high school, I have straight A's and a full-ride to a university next year. It's not my dream school, but I know I'll end up going there because the economy is terrible and while my parents are ok money-wise, free is free. My parents are divorced and remarried, my dad has been with my stepmom for a while and my mom and stepdad have been together about 5 years. A few months ago I was diagnosed with a tick-borne disease and can't have red meat products. It's terrible and I get so sick if I have anything. I miss steak. But a few weeks ago - the night before a dance - my dad was making dinner. I was at his house on one of the days I normally wouldn't be because my mom was out of town and I don't like staying alone. He made my little brother's favorite meal that I didn't know had beef stock in it. (Just to clarify, since I’d never read the meal I asked if it was ok to eat and he said yes. Later when I got sick he checked the recipe again and felt terrible and admitted there was beef stock and he forgot. That’s obviously not his fault but later when I was sick we started fighting about the dance) I got SUPER sick and had to miss my senior fall dance. Which I KNOW isn't the end of the world, but it really felt like it WAS and I got into a huge fight with my dad. He called me spoiled and high maintenance, and I know I said things like I hate him and he doesn't care about me and left to stay at my moms. We'd fought before, and I'd cooled off and went back to his house on my normal day, thinking we'd just apologize to one another like normal, but when I got there he told me that he'd packed up my room (into TRASHBAGS) and that he wasn't going to take abuse from his adult child. I thought he was joking but he wasn't. I was crying a bunch, and my stepmom was yelling at my dad. She gave me one of her credit cards and told me to call her if I ever needed anything and I've been staying at my mom's ever since. Which isn't great. She and her husband kind of do their own thing and I just feel like I bother them. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, too, and he's been kind of bothering me and I asked my dad to tell him to stop but he told me I needed to deal with my own issues on my own. So I asked my stepdad which was embarrassing because I don't know him very well and I don't' know if he even fixed the situation and seemed annoyed until my mom finally talked to my ex. He finally left me alone, but now his friends keep messing with me online and in person at school. My senior night for my team is this weekend. I wanted my dad there, and told him I'd buy him lunch this past weekend to talk. I told him I knew that what I said was wrong, and I wasn't trying to make excuses but I was feeling so bad and was so upset about the dance, and him calling me high maintenance and spoiled also hurt. He said he knew that emotions were high, but I was an adult now and actions had consequences. I get that! But if I was the first teenager to fight with her parents I would understand. I'm a good kid! I have a scholarship and a job and I know kids who have gotten like DUIs and their parents still love them and let them live with them. He said he loved me, but I needed to learn consequences and that he'd still go to my senior night but I told him don't bother! I had wanted all four of them to walk me but now I just want to walk myself. I don't feel supported by any of them and just paid and went to leave. He told me that if I didn't let him walk me at my senior night I could kiss ever moving back in with him ever again. I told him that was fine, I was just so done trying to convince him that I was worthy of living in his house, if my parents weren't divorced it wouldn't even be a question if I'm allowed to live with my own dad. I'm fine with my decision, I have so many other things going on. My ex's friends are giving me problems, I'm playing like garbage anyways and will probably be benched soon so it doesn't matter. But my grandparents and even my stepmom have called and asked me to answer my dad's calls and talk to him, and have said that I've upset him. I'm not trying to upset them, but I just am not in a good place to deal with all of this with him right now and don't want anyone there. There's a part of me that doesn't even want to walk that night! AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received the majority of NTAs Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA, your dad made a very heated and drastic move. His actions have consequences too. If he truly wanted to try to make amends he’d find a proper way instead of guilt tripping you through family members. Try to control your temper in heat of the moment situations next time. And don’t let people who don’t make you feel supported and successful ruin YOUR moments like your grad walk. OOP: It’s not for graduation. It’s for a senior night since I’m on a varsity team. I generally do control my temper, everything is just so overwhelming right now and I felt so sick. He just doesn’t understand how bad the food makes me feel Commenter 2: What are his consequences for calling you spoiled over A MEDICAL ISSUE?!? NTA your father is a giant AH and I'm glad at least your stepmom recognizes that. Sorry you can't eat meat since you liked it. As someone who hasn't eaten beef for a quarter century, I honestly don't miss it fwiw. OOP: They say I can probably one day eat meat again. I don’t like pork (not for religious reasons I just like pigs) and can have poultry but I can’t stand vegetarian protein stuff. I know I need to try more. He said I was spoiled for being angry about missing my dance. He knows what I can’t eat and still made it and I blamed him. OOP on her red meat allergy OOP: They said it might last for a few months or years, and it might forever. I like turkey and chicken but I can’t really eat spicy food, and it seems like that’s the most popular vegetarian stuff. OOP on wanting to have parents supporting and being in her corner OOP: I get that, but I do want to have my parents in my life. All of my friends are close with theirs, if they need money they have no issues asking them and they even go to them with their personal problems. I don’t even bother my parents with that stuff I just wish I had people in my corner for once in my life. OOP responds on getting therapy and seek for mental health assistance OOP: I’ve tried getting therapy, I found one place that was only $80 copay but neither of them wanted to pay it and I barely make $100 a week. My mom said it’s not necessary. I’ve tried. + That’s for in network. I spent hours the other day trying to find something. I even called the insurance company and pretended I was my mom to se either options but there aren’t any that I can afford. I know my school has free counseling next year so hopefully it’s good. OOP explains more about the harassing she received from her ex's friends, asking them to stop OOP: I’ve tried saying all of that, but it’s hasn’t stopped them. They’ll say things behind my back and then to my face at school but have enough plausible deniability so they don’t actually get in trouble. I’ve tried blocking them and they just harass me more in person or make new accounts. I’m just so freaking tired. OOP explains how her father hasn't been very helpful for her when it comes to dealing with issues OOP: Yes he apologized for not telling me about the beef stock when I asked if there was any red meat products in the meal, because I would have just made myself something else no problem. But then I had to miss the dance which made my ex blow up on me so I broke up with him and now he and all his friends are just constantly harassing me and I’m sick of them calling me a $lut and a wh0re or making accounts to harass me outside of school. I tried handling it on my own but then my ex involved his friends and now it’s worse than ever. I asked my mom and stepdad for help and it was ok for a day or so then got worse. The school doesn’t care. I just wanted my dad to talk to my ex or something g and get him to stop because I can hardly focus on school much less sports and now my family issues because of all of this. I might be an adult but I’m still in high school and yeah maybe I’m not in danger but I can’t handle this! I went into it thinking that even if he didn’t let me move back in but at least tried to help me with my ex I would want him at senior night but he won’t even help with that. But you’re right, I’m an adult and I can’t depend on anyone else and just need to put up with all of this and deal with it because I got angry with my dad and yelled at him. I just want one person to be on my freaking side   Update #1: December 2, 2025 (a bit over one month later) I know it's been a while since I posted about my senior night. But basically I (f18) got into a fight with my dad because he forgot there was something I was allergic to in the dinner he made and I had to miss my dance, and he kicked me out to live with my mom. He got super mad when I told him he wasn’t going to walk with me at my senior night. Anyways. I didn't even end up going and kind of forgot about it. Not to be super woke or anything (JK i love being woke lol) but trigger warning. My coach isn't like a super nice guy or anything, but my ex's friends (the ones who had been harassing after my mom had finally gotten my ex to leave me alone) me accidentally did so in front of him. They were punished and I was really hoping that would be the end of it. But it wasn't and a few days later when I wasn't at school they did something bad. I don’t want to elaborate, and they were arrested and the ones whose parents could afford to have them out on bail, but I know two of them didn’t get bailed out. My ex wasn't there but he was charged with something else. He's over 18 but still got bail and they ended up dropping the charges on him. It might be my fault. I know it’s stupid but before it happened, I had deleted all of his messages because it was really stressful having them on my phone. My mom keeps pushing for them to get a warrant for the deleted messages, but I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere, and honestly idk if it would even matter. I have a restraining order for all of them tho, which is good. There's a lady I’ll call Gail, idk if she's a social worker or actually a cop, but she's been really nice and helpful. She told me that if they don't take plea deals, there will be multiple trials, and I'd have to testify at all of them. I asked her when the trials would be, because the school I am going to is far away, but she said not to worry about that. I just don't want to be at my new life and have to miss classes or something. I also really don't want to testify and hope they take deals, even if it means they won't be punished as much. Like I know they have rights and there's allegedly still a constitution in america but the idea of testifying at multiple trials makes me want to die. I've seen videos of people making fun of women who testify too and I can't handle that, so I really hope they take deals. I guess if they could just combine all of the trials and I only had to testify at one I would be ok with doing that, but Gail said that’s not likely to happen and not to get my hopes up. She wasn’t mean about that or anything I think she was just being realistic. My mom and stepdad have been really good about everything. My stepdad and I don't know each other that well but he broke down and apologized and said he blames himself and should have done more. I don't think he should blame himself, I even told him that but he’s been like doing nice things for me a lot and making a lot of food that I like without me doing anything in return so I feel bad. My mom has been really nice and supportive, but I think she's taking all of this harder than I am almost, and that is annoying. Like she just randomly cries and it’s annoying to me because nothing happened to her. I haven't said anything to her about that though. Like I don’t need her acting like I’m still a kid and cutting up my food for me, I can do that. I haven't talked to my dad. I don't want to. The day before the party I had begged my dad AGAIN to say something to one of the guys' dads because they work together, but he left me on read. So I guess I kinda blame him. I know that's wrong but I don't want to see or hear from him, so I blocked him. I didn’t even want him to know what happened, I know the police went to my moms house to tell her and was kind of hoping that since I was over 18 they wouldn’t tell him, but since he was still my emergency contact they did. I fixed that for the future. He's talked to my mom but she said I don't need to talk to him or even think about him right now. He’s sent a bunch of letters to my mom’s house - for a week or whatever it was every day but now it's less often - but I didn’t read any and my mom said she’d just set them aside for now. I told her she could throw them away but I don’t think she did. I mean I am sure he feels bad, but I don't want to hear him apologize or try to comfort me. I wanted his help before all of this and to have tried to stop it from happening but he didn't do anything. So that’s why I blame him and not not my mom or stepdad. They at least tried to do something before all of this even it what they did didnt work. I don't think I will forgive him. I know he's hurting, but I can't worry about his feelings. I know this sounds bad, but I’m not his only kid and he has my brothers too so I don’t feel guilty, like I'm not stopping him from being a dad forever to anyone you know? Plus I'm an adult now and I can choose who can or cannot comfort me. I have a therapist now. She's fine, I wish I could have a different one because her voice kind of annoys me, I don’t think they let you change therapists because of that though. I actually hate therapy tbh, and wish my mom would stop making it a big deal that I go. I don't want to tell her that it is kind of nice being the one in charge of my relationship with my dad and not vice versa. That's probably bad, but it's true. Plus - I kind of have a IDGAF attitude lately, and I probably would just say to his face that I blame him and that this is his fault which I know isn't fair. So not talking to him is the right thing to do. I also had to block my stepmom. She texted my aunt that it’s nice just being them and their kids and not having my drama in their house and it got back to me, so I’m just giving them what they want. Like I wonder if either of them actually ever really loved or cared about me. Maybe kicking me out when I turned 18 was the plan all along and that’s why he did it over something so stupid? And, again, they have my brothers so they're not missing out on anything with me you know? Everyone at school knows, but they’ve all been nice like not even just my team and friends but everyone there has been nice, though. Like, really nice. I don't think they're being fake or anything, but if they are I told my therapist that was fine because I'd rather them be nice and fake than mean and authentic right now. I was kind of nervous because I’m not popular or anything at school, I’m not a loser or anything but kind of do my own thing. The only other person in my class who’s going to my college is this one popular guy, and he promised me he wouldn’t tell anyone at our college about this. I know people will probably still find out, but that was nice. He’s been talking to me more, even outside of school like we were on break part of last week and he still reached out, it kind of feels like he’s trying to hype me up for college which is nice because at first I am kind of thinking about taking a year or something off, but I know I should. I think his parents both went to the school and he’s like obsessed with it so he keeps sending me things going on there. His older sister also goes there and he said he’s going to go a week early and stay with her and invited me. I know it’s a while away and told him I’d think about it. I don’t really want to, but it’s one of those things where I feel like even if it don’t enjoy it it would be good for me long-term to go and meet people before freshman week starts. So idk what I’ll do about my dad. I was thinking about calling him at Christmas but maybe I won’t. My brothers have told my grandma they want to see me at Christmas, but it might be because I always get them good gifts lol. Maybe I can go over to their house for a little, mom and her husband don’t do much like decorate or celebrate Christmas, and my dad’s side is really festive so I kind of miss that. I will probably do the more Christmassy things in town with my best friends family, I know my mom and stepdad would do them if I asked but maybe I’ll just go with her family. So idk. My mom asked me if there was anything my dad could do for me to want to listen to or talk to him, and I told her I’d think about it. Luckily she’s only asked once. So I’m not saying never, I’m just not interested right now. But I'm excited about the future and going to college, and think I'll just focus on that. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Honey, therapy is something you most definitely NEED right now. Desperately. And I don't mean it in a pejorative way, therapy is good and is perfectly fine if you don't click with your therapist. Try and check if it's possible to change. Two people can be fantastic amazing and excellent at what they do... And not get along. A professional can be great, considerate and awesome at their job and still not click with everyone. Maybe try and give therapy a chance. You're legally an adult and there's doctor patient confidentiality. If you don't open up in therapy, there's no way for the therapist to give you tools to help you. I don't know exactly what happened to you but I'm going to assume and if it is what I think it is, while true, your mom didn't go through anything, she's hurting because you are her child. Give therapy a chance. It sounds like you're used to justifying people treating you poorly and you try and not expect anyone to even glance kindly in your direction and that's something that needs to be worked on with a professional. Please give therapy a chance. Open up to the doctor and tell them everything as you've written here. And if after that you feel you're still uncomfortable with your doctor, then you can ask if a change is possible. Maybe when you start school you can access counseling services there, but please make sure you open up in therapy. OOP: I get it, and I know therapy helps a lot of people. I just don’t like it. It’s not her fault, I don’t think she’s a bad therapist and I’ve done therapy before and didn’t like it. Maybe at school when I’m on my own it’ll be better. I just feel like it’s a waste of time right now. Commenter 2: Does your Dad know what your stepmother said? If he does, and hes done nothing, theres nothing to say to him. Let him have his wretched wife and go on with life without him. A good parent doesnt kick their child out of the house when that parent has endangered them because of gross negligence. Hes already a failure in many ways. Add his wife and not sure what his redeeming quality is. Your grandmother could facilitate seeing your brothers without seeing your dad. As you have said in the post, you may not be in the headspace to see him. Adding the pressure of Christmas on top of that, its probably not the best idea. Your mom is emotional because she knows you've been hurt and its bad, but she cant do qny of it for you. Good moms want to take the bullet for their kids and spare them hurt and hardship. She cant do that now and its hard. No, it didn’t happen to her, but it happened to her baby and watching her baby hurt is very difficult. It is not on you to comfort her or support her or shield her, I'm just trying to explain. I hope you have a good Christmas and can start counting down to college with sincere joy and excitement. Fingers crossed they take pleas and you get peace from that part. OOP: Idk if he knows. I doubt she knows that I know even. My cousin just saw the text on her mom’s phone and told me. She might have just been venting or something but i don’t care. I don’t know if they’ll let me just see them without them there but I can ask my grandma. Like I don’t know if they’ll let know that’s happened and I won’t tell them or anything but maybe they don’t want my brothers to be a part of it. Idk. OOP on her father not being very supportive to her OOP: I don’t think it’s that though. I just feel like that he could have stopped all of this but didn’t want to. And if he’s like ohh I’m so sorry this happened I’d be like are you? I told him they were bothering me for weeks and he didn’t do anything and now wants to act like he cares because it looks bad that I won’t talk to him or see him. I don’t believe he actually cares about me and what happened to me. Has OOP read the letters that her father has sent her at her mother's house? OOP: I don’t know. I don’t read the letters. He could still think he did nothing wrong. Even if he did, it’s not like he’s sending them every day like he was before. So I feel like probably in a few months they’ll just stop and in time he’ll just forget about it all. He might already be starting to forget, and maybe that’s for the best. My therapist had me write my dad a letter but not send it, and it wasn’t very nice and that’s how I know I probably shouldn’t talk to him for a while. I feel like I blame him more than my ex and his friends for what happened. Yes they are awful but it’s supposed to be my dad’s job to take care of me and keep me safe and instead he threw me away like trash. And maybe he’s just trying to connect with me because it looks bad that I won’t talk to him. Idk. I’m sure he’ll get over it. This time next year he probably won’t even be thinking about it or me. Unfortunately I doubt I’ll forget about it ever.   ----NEW FINAL UPDATE---- Trigger Warnings: mentions of car accident Final Update: December 27, 2025 (3.5 weeks later) Final update: AITA for not letting my dad walk me on my senior night since he won’t let me move back in? Hi everyone. I hope you all had good holiday whatever you celebrate. I love christmastime, I’m not very religious or anything I just feel like it’s a great time of year. A lot of people have asked me for an update but I don’t really have anything huge, but things are mostly fine. Most days I feel totally fine. Oh this was my last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/DUBz79MZHt But I’ve decided that this whole chapter or whatever is over now. I read all my dad’s letters. My mom and stepdad were gone for a weekend for her birthday and I don’t really sleep much. They were whatever, I can tell that he’s hurting but I don’t have time for all of that. I would have killed for him to say any of that stuff before all of this but I didn’t feel anything reading them now. Like asking me to move back in doesn’t mean anything now, it would have before but now I don’t even want to. My stepmom had sent a few, too, but they were mostly just about wanting me to reach out to my dad and how badly he was hurting. And one of them basically said that this all happened because I didn't tell my dad the severity of everything (wrong) and they can't help me in the future if I don't talk to them. And in all my dad's letters he's constantly talking about how he wants me to move back in etc but in my stepmom's she just says I should come over and visit. So I threw them all away. My best friend’s grandparents got into a really bad car accident :( her family went out to Ohio to spend Christmas with them instead of them coming to her, which is good but they were who I was going to do Christmas stuff with. They said I could come with them but that felt very intrusive so I said it was totally fine. They did ask me to “house sit” but they don’t have any pets or plants or anything so I think they were just saying it’s fine if I stay there some nights like I normally do. My mom and stepdad work a lot and aren’t that into the holidays, but they put up a tree which they never do so that was nice. I found some decorations that were probably my grandmas in the basement and put them up too, so our house at least looked festive. My mom and stepdad are at least pretending to like them, but I’ll take them down soon before they get too annoyed. That guy from my school who is going to college with me I’ll call Dan, his family doesn’t do Christmas stuff either but that’s because they’re Jewish. But there’s this lights thing in my city and it’s kinda stupid but I always used to do it with my dad and brothers and stepmom and was going to do it with my friend but she had to leave town. But Dan got us tickets and that was really nice. We had a good time, but I didn’t really think about my dad and his family being there but they were. I was able to avoid them and didn’t let it ruin my night though! Christmas wasn’t that great. I guess in the past I’ve just been more into it and getting people gifts and seeing people. I think a lot of people weren’t feeling it, I feel like not as many people put lights up on their houses and normally I can’t go two feet without being handed cookies and stuff but this year I didn’t do any of that. So it felt like it was December first then bam Christmas Eve. Normally I’m with my mom Christmas Eve then my dad’s Christmas Day and go to my grandmas on that side. So I called her and asked if I could still come for a little bit in the morning since they usually go to my stepmoms side for a bit then, and she said of course. She even went and got my brothers and told my dad and stepmom they could come after I left. It was really really nice of her. I was having a lot of fun and it felt like there was nothing wrong, but then my one brother asked me when I was leaving so his parents could come. So I left. He’s a kid and I’m sure he just wanted to open more presents so it’s not his fault, but it hurt a lot because I was so excited to see them and I think I’m just going to distance myself from them for a while. Not because I’m mad but just for now for myself. My dad and stepmom had sent gifts with them for me but I didn’t open them and left them there. I didn’t get them anything so it felt wrong, but also I wanted to hurt them. My mom and stepdad go to his family on Christmas Day and I didn’t want to just home alone so I just kind of drove around for a while, but Dan was free. Normally when we hang out we just get stoned and he makes vegan versions of non vegan meals but the grocery stores were all closed so we saw that ping pong movie. I quit therapy. Sorry. It was so expensive and I was getting nothing out of it, and I had gone to this support group gail told me about, and it’s really been helping. Like exponentially more than therapy. Idk if I’m supposed to pay someone for it but idk who to ask. But even if I have to pay I’ll keep going. The people are nice and I can just listen if I don’t want to talk. Gail said she’d help me find one in my new city but maybe I’ll just do a fresh start when I go to school. I’m glad I found the support group. But one of the people there said something along the lines of how expensive lawyers cost, and I guess before that I didn’t realize that these guys parents not only paid their bail, which I guess they’ll get back? But apparently THOUSANDS of dollars for lawyers to try to get them off. And anyways this is stupid but I got mad that they’re paying all that money for their kids and it just goes to lawyers and I’m sitting here paying for therapy because of what their sons did. And two of these guys still have girlfriends, one of them goes to my best friends high school. Last year I went to her prom with her as friends and the girl reached out and asked me not to go this year. I just blocked her and Gail told me they’re not allowed to tell me where I can and can’t go. But if that guy is going to go I obviously won’t and I’m not trying to make more drama by poking that bear. But in all of that drama my mom was saying that after trauma you’re not supposed to date for a year. Which it’s like to each their own? Also I think she’s thinking of drug addicts which I’m not. So those were really the only few times I’ve been sad lately. And not that much, like I don’t cry or anything. I kind of want to change my last name. Not to my stepdads though. I could ask my mom what her maiden name was, but maybe I could pick a new one. Gail said she might be able to talk to a judge for me, so that was nice. I know I’ll change my last name when I get married but that won’t be for a long time and I’m hoping I can change it before college. Either way, I’m going to be ok :). Editor's note: OOP also posted the final update onto her profile, I am adding the comments for more context Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Go to prom with a group of people, so you’re not stuck with just one person to hide behind. You deserve to have your senior prom experience, and you can always dip early for an after party if things get weird. There’s always the option, if you have friends at other schools, to go to another school’s prom. OOP: That’s kind of the problem. I was excited to go to my friends prom again since (I thought) fewer people there would know. It doesn’t matter because I won’t go to that one either now, but I’ll probably go to mine. I just hate that that girl thinks she can tell me what to do. Commenter 2: Is the other girl’s boyfriend somebody there is a restraining order against? If you go, then he can’t go. That’s probably why she asked you not to go, but you are totally allowed to do what’s best for you (not only allowed, but you should put yourself first, it sounds like you haven’t been doing that). I bet if your best friend let the school know that there was a restraining order and why they wouldn’t want him there anyway. OOP: Yeah, Gail said they can’t tell me where I can and can’t go and my best friends mom said she would talk to the school for me (it’s not my school) but at this point maybe I’ll just go to mine. I don’t want everyone there to know about my drama Commenter 3: I'm glad you and Dan are hanging out. Sounds like you're craving normalcy, but like a new normalcy where you're away from this town and all these people you have a complicated history with. Which honestly is totally legit, and you should try to remember that whenever someone tries to 'but, faaaaamily' you. The whole 'no dating after trauma" is part of a larger gestalt of 'no big lifestyle changes after grief or trauma' which is mostly a rule of thumb that tries to steer people away from escapism and to make sure they process everything, so it doesn't come back to bite them later. But because of your life stage you really ought to go to college, you can't get a divorce, you can't quit your job, you can't go on a year long road trip like it's some kind of midlife crisis lol. So basically the advice boils down to 'don't just disappear into a relationship to avoid being alone with yourself.' And you sound like you're doing pretty good at sitting with things and working through them at your own pace. You're doing good, kid. Take care of yourself. OOP: That’s a good point. Yeah I’m going to be making a big change in going to college but at this point that’s kinda it. And I don’t want to really date anybody in particular especially since I’ll be leaving. But it’s kind of like I can’t really casually date someone because I would have to tell the everything and then it’s not casual. Maybe in college because I won’t have to tell people there because nobody will know I could casually date someone just beyond a FWB or something. We’ll see. Commenter 4: Thank you for the update. I changed my last name to my mom’s maiden name after I turned 18. It’s not difficult but it’s a process. You need to confirm what your state requires. The state I was living in at the time required after I filed the paperwork with the courts that I make an announcement in the newspaper once a week for 4 weeks. I can’t remember how much that cost for the announcement. It’s so creditor/debt collectors can see the name change and file motions if there is a debt to collect or anyone else has an issue. Then I had a court date and had to go before the judge and say why I wanted my name changed. It took longer waiting for my case to be called than the name change itself. Then I went to the DMV and social security office to change my name. Then I got copies of the name change to change anything else I needed to change (credit cards, bank, passport, etc). OOP: Yeah, I downloaded everything and made a little checklist and timeline and I know it’ll be a process. I don’t think I want my mom’s maiden name tbh. I hold I have to pick hers? She has my stepdads last name now so it’s not even hers. Commenter 4: That’s true and an excellent point. I would find a name that has meaning for you and then choose that name. If/when you get married, then you can decide whether you want to change your last name again or keep your maiden name or keep both. I kept both because I earned several degrees and had a career established in my maiden name by the time I married my husband. It’s now my middle name. I didn’t want to lose that part of my identity. I didn’t take his last name until we had kids. OOP: True. Like most little girls I think I was super into Anne Boleyn but that would be a silly name to take. But something like that. OOP responds to a comment regarding cutting her father off and making life changes for herself OOP: Thanks. I haven’t told him I’m cutting him off. I am just refusing to talk to him or be around him. Maybe that will be permanent but maybe not. Either way I’m changing my last name.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/LowlyKnights Originally posted to r/AITAH AITAH for not wanting my dad to walk me on my senior night since he won’t let me move back in? Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: abuse, emotional abuse and manipulation, health issues, intense bullying, negligence, harassment Original Post: October 28, 2025 OK so first off, I do feel bad about complaining about all of this. I'm just a middle class American teenager, like I have a car and both my parents are well off and own homes, I'm not living in Gaza or anything terrible like that. I get it. But I'm 18f and a senior in high school, I have straight A's and a full-ride to a university next year. It's not my dream school, but I know I'll end up going there because the economy is terrible and while my parents are ok money-wise, free is free. My parents are divorced and remarried, my dad has been with my stepmom for a while and my mom and stepdad have been together about 5 years. A few months ago I was diagnosed with a tick-borne disease and can't have red meat products. It's terrible and I get so sick if I have anything. I miss steak. But a few weeks ago - the night before a dance - my dad was making dinner. I was at his house on one of the days I normally wouldn't be because my mom was out of town and I don't like staying alone. He made my little brother's favorite meal that I didn't know had beef stock in it. (Just to clarify, since I’d never read the meal I asked if it was ok to eat and he said yes. Later when I got sick he checked the recipe again and felt terrible and admitted there was beef stock and he forgot. That’s obviously not his fault but later when I was sick we started fighting about the dance) I got SUPER sick and had to miss my senior fall dance. Which I KNOW isn't the end of the world, but it really felt like it WAS and I got into a huge fight with my dad. He called me spoiled and high maintenance, and I know I said things like I hate him and he doesn't care about me and left to stay at my moms. We'd fought before, and I'd cooled off and went back to his house on my normal day, thinking we'd just apologize to one another like normal, but when I got there he told me that he'd packed up my room (into TRASHBAGS) and that he wasn't going to take abuse from his adult child. I thought he was joking but he wasn't. I was crying a bunch, and my stepmom was yelling at my dad. She gave me one of her credit cards and told me to call her if I ever needed anything and I've been staying at my mom's ever since. Which isn't great. She and her husband kind of do their own thing and I just feel like I bother them. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, too, and he's been kind of bothering me and I asked my dad to tell him to stop but he told me I needed to deal with my own issues on my own. So I asked my stepdad which was embarrassing because I don't know him very well and I don't' know if he even fixed the situation and seemed annoyed until my mom finally talked to my ex. He finally left me alone, but now his friends keep messing with me online and in person at school. My senior night for my team is this weekend. I wanted my dad there, and told him I'd buy him lunch this past weekend to talk. I told him I knew that what I said was wrong, and I wasn't trying to make excuses but I was feeling so bad and was so upset about the dance, and him calling me high maintenance and spoiled also hurt. He said he knew that emotions were high, but I was an adult now and actions had consequences. I get that! But if I was the first teenager to fight with her parents I would understand. I'm a good kid! I have a scholarship and a job and I know kids who have gotten like DUIs and their parents still love them and let them live with them. He said he loved me, but I needed to learn consequences and that he'd still go to my senior night but I told him don't bother! I had wanted all four of them to walk me but now I just want to walk myself. I don't feel supported by any of them and just paid and went to leave. He told me that if I didn't let him walk me at my senior night I could kiss ever moving back in with him ever again. I told him that was fine, I was just so done trying to convince him that I was worthy of living in his house, if my parents weren't divorced it wouldn't even be a question if I'm allowed to live with my own dad. I'm fine with my decision, I have so many other things going on. My ex's friends are giving me problems, I'm playing like garbage anyways and will probably be benched soon so it doesn't matter. But my grandparents and even my stepmom have called and asked me to answer my dad's calls and talk to him, and have said that I've upset him. I'm not trying to upset them, but I just am not in a good place to deal with all of this with him right now and don't want anyone there. There's a part of me that doesn't even want to walk that night! AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received the majority of NTAs Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA, your dad made a very heated and drastic move. His actions have consequences too. If he truly wanted to try to make amends he’d find a proper way instead of guilt tripping you through family members. Try to control your temper in heat of the moment situations next time. And don’t let people who don’t make you feel supported and successful ruin YOUR moments like your grad walk. OOP: It’s not for graduation. It’s for a senior night since I’m on a varsity team. I generally do control my temper, everything is just so overwhelming right now and I felt so sick. He just doesn’t understand how bad the food makes me feel Commenter 2: What are his consequences for calling you spoiled over A MEDICAL ISSUE?!? NTA your father is a giant AH and I'm glad at least your stepmom recognizes that. Sorry you can't eat meat since you liked it. As someone who hasn't eaten beef for a quarter century, I honestly don't miss it fwiw. OOP: They say I can probably one day eat meat again. I don’t like pork (not for religious reasons I just like pigs) and can have poultry but I can’t stand vegetarian protein stuff. I know I need to try more. He said I was spoiled for being angry about missing my dance. He knows what I can’t eat and still made it and I blamed him. OOP on her red meat allergy OOP: They said it might last for a few months or years, and it might forever. I like turkey and chicken but I can’t really eat spicy food, and it seems like that’s the most popular vegetarian stuff. OOP on wanting to have parents supporting and being in her corner OOP: I get that, but I do want to have my parents in my life. All of my friends are close with theirs, if they need money they have no issues asking them and they even go to them with their personal problems. I don’t even bother my parents with that stuff I just wish I had people in my corner for once in my life. OOP responds on getting therapy and seek for mental health assistance OOP: I’ve tried getting therapy, I found one place that was only $80 copay but neither of them wanted to pay it and I barely make $100 a week. My mom said it’s not necessary. I’ve tried. + That’s for in network. I spent hours the other day trying to find something. I even called the insurance company and pretended I was my mom to se either options but there aren’t any that I can afford. I know my school has free counseling next year so hopefully it’s good. OOP explains more about the harassing she received from her ex's friends, asking them to stop OOP: I’ve tried saying all of that, but it’s hasn’t stopped them. They’ll say things behind my back and then to my face at school but have enough plausible deniability so they don’t actually get in trouble. I’ve tried blocking them and they just harass me more in person or make new accounts. I’m just so freaking tired. OOP explains how her father hasn't been very helpful for her when it comes to dealing with issues OOP: Yes he apologized for not telling me about the beef stock when I asked if there was any red meat products in the meal, because I would have just made myself something else no problem. But then I had to miss the dance which made my ex blow up on me so I broke up with him and now he and all his friends are just constantly harassing me and I’m sick of them calling me a $lut and a wh0re or making accounts to harass me outside of school. I tried handling it on my own but then my ex involved his friends and now it’s worse than ever. I asked my mom and stepdad for help and it was ok for a day or so then got worse. The school doesn’t care. I just wanted my dad to talk to my ex or something g and get him to stop because I can hardly focus on school much less sports and now my family issues because of all of this. I might be an adult but I’m still in high school and yeah maybe I’m not in danger but I can’t handle this! I went into it thinking that even if he didn’t let me move back in but at least tried to help me with my ex I would want him at senior night but he won’t even help with that. But you’re right, I’m an adult and I can’t depend on anyone else and just need to put up with all of this and deal with it because I got angry with my dad and yelled at him. I just want one person to be on my freaking side   Update: December 2, 2025 (a bit over one month later) I know it's been a while since I posted about my senior night. But basically I (f18) got into a fight with my dad because he forgot there was something I was allergic to in the dinner he made and I had to miss my dance, and he kicked me out to live with my mom. He got super mad when I told him he wasn’t going to walk with me at my senior night. Anyways. I didn't even end up going and kind of forgot about it. Not to be super woke or anything (JK i love being woke lol) but trigger warning. My coach isn't like a super nice guy or anything, but my ex's friends (the ones who had been harassing after my mom had finally gotten my ex to leave me alone) me accidentally did so in front of him. They were punished and I was really hoping that would be the end of it. But it wasn't and a few days later when I wasn't at school they did something bad. I don’t want to elaborate, and they were arrested and the ones whose parents could afford to have them out on bail, but I know two of them didn’t get bailed out. My ex wasn't there but he was charged with something else. He's over 18 but still got bail and they ended up dropping the charges on him. It might be my fault. I know it’s stupid but before it happened, I had deleted all of his messages because it was really stressful having them on my phone. My mom keeps pushing for them to get a warrant for the deleted messages, but I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere, and honestly idk if it would even matter. I have a restraining order for all of them tho, which is good. There's a lady I’ll call Gail, idk if she's a social worker or actually a cop, but she's been really nice and helpful. She told me that if they don't take plea deals, there will be multiple trials, and I'd have to testify at all of them. I asked her when the trials would be, because the school I am going to is far away, but she said not to worry about that. I just don't want to be at my new life and have to miss classes or something. I also really don't want to testify and hope they take deals, even if it means they won't be punished as much. Like I know they have rights and there's allegedly still a constitution in america but the idea of testifying at multiple trials makes me want to die. I've seen videos of people making fun of women who testify too and I can't handle that, so I really hope they take deals. I guess if they could just combine all of the trials and I only had to testify at one I would be ok with doing that, but Gail said that’s not likely to happen and not to get my hopes up. She wasn’t mean about that or anything I think she was just being realistic. My mom and stepdad have been really good about everything. My stepdad and I don't know each other that well but he broke down and apologized and said he blames himself and should have done more. I don't think he should blame himself, I even told him that but he’s been like doing nice things for me a lot and making a lot of food that I like without me doing anything in return so I feel bad. My mom has been really nice and supportive, but I think she's taking all of this harder than I am almost, and that is annoying. Like she just randomly cries and it’s annoying to me because nothing happened to her. I haven't said anything to her about that though. Like I don’t need her acting like I’m still a kid and cutting up my food for me, I can do that. I haven't talked to my dad. I don't want to. The day before the party I had begged my dad AGAIN to say something to one of the guys' dads because they work together, but he left me on read. So I guess I kinda blame him. I know that's wrong but I don't want to see or hear from him, so I blocked him. I didn’t even want him to know what happened, I know the police went to my moms house to tell her and was kind of hoping that since I was over 18 they wouldn’t tell him, but since he was still my emergency contact they did. I fixed that for the future. He's talked to my mom but she said I don't need to talk to him or even think about him right now. He’s sent a bunch of letters to my mom’s house - for a week or whatever it was every day but now it's less often - but I didn’t read any and my mom said she’d just set them aside for now. I told her she could throw them away but I don’t think she did. I mean I am sure he feels bad, but I don't want to hear him apologize or try to comfort me. I wanted his help before all of this and to have tried to stop it from happening but he didn't do anything. So that’s why I blame him and not not my mom or stepdad. They at least tried to do something before all of this even it what they did didnt work. I don't think I will forgive him. I know he's hurting, but I can't worry about his feelings. I know this sounds bad, but I’m not his only kid and he has my brothers too so I don’t feel guilty, like I'm not stopping him from being a dad forever to anyone you know? Plus I'm an adult now and I can choose who can or cannot comfort me. I have a therapist now. She's fine, I wish I could have a different one because her voice kind of annoys me, I don’t think they let you change therapists because of that though. I actually hate therapy tbh, and wish my mom would stop making it a big deal that I go. I don't want to tell her that it is kind of nice being the one in charge of my relationship with my dad and not vice versa. That's probably bad, but it's true. Plus - I kind of have a IDGAF attitude lately, and I probably would just say to his face that I blame him and that this is his fault which I know isn't fair. So not talking to him is the right thing to do. I also had to block my stepmom. She texted my aunt that it’s nice just being them and their kids and not having my drama in their house and it got back to me, so I’m just giving them what they want. Like I wonder if either of them actually ever really loved or cared about me. Maybe kicking me out when I turned 18 was the plan all along and that’s why he did it over something so stupid? And, again, they have my brothers so they're not missing out on anything with me you know? Everyone at school knows, but they’ve all been nice like not even just my team and friends but everyone there has been nice, though. Like, really nice. I don't think they're being fake or anything, but if they are I told my therapist that was fine because I'd rather them be nice and fake than mean and authentic right now. I was kind of nervous because I’m not popular or anything at school, I’m not a loser or anything but kind of do my own thing. The only other person in my class who’s going to my college is this one popular guy, and he promised me he wouldn’t tell anyone at our college about this. I know people will probably still find out, but that was nice. He’s been talking to me more, even outside of school like we were on break part of last week and he still reached out, it kind of feels like he’s trying to hype me up for college which is nice because at first I am kind of thinking about taking a year or something off, but I know I should. I think his parents both went to the school and he’s like obsessed with it so he keeps sending me things going on there. His older sister also goes there and he said he’s going to go a week early and stay with her and invited me. I know it’s a while away and told him I’d think about it. I don’t really want to, but it’s one of those things where I feel like even if it don’t enjoy it it would be good for me long-term to go and meet people before freshman week starts. So idk what I’ll do about my dad. I was thinking about calling him at Christmas but maybe I won’t. My brothers have told my grandma they want to see me at Christmas, but it might be because I always get them good gifts lol. Maybe I can go over to their house for a little, mom and her husband don’t do much like decorate or celebrate Christmas, and my dad’s side is really festive so I kind of miss that. I will probably do the more Christmassy things in town with my best friends family, I know my mom and stepdad would do them if I asked but maybe I’ll just go with her family. So idk. My mom asked me if there was anything my dad could do for me to want to listen to or talk to him, and I told her I’d think about it. Luckily she’s only asked once. So I’m not saying never, I’m just not interested right now. But I'm excited about the future and going to college, and think I'll just focus on that. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Honey, therapy is something you most definitely NEED right now. Desperately. And I don't mean it in a pejorative way, therapy is good and is perfectly fine if you don't click with your therapist. Try and check if it's possible to change. Two people can be fantastic amazing and excellent at what they do... And not get along. A professional can be great, considerate and awesome at their job and still not click with everyone. Maybe try and give therapy a chance. You're legally an adult and there's doctor patient confidentiality. If you don't open up in therapy, there's no way for the therapist to give you tools to help you. I don't know exactly what happened to you but I'm going to assume and if it is what I think it is, while true, your mom didn't go through anything, she's hurting because you are her child. Give therapy a chance. It sounds like you're used to justifying people treating you poorly and you try and not expect anyone to even glance kindly in your direction and that's something that needs to be worked on with a professional. Please give therapy a chance. Open up to the doctor and tell them everything as you've written here. And if after that you feel you're still uncomfortable with your doctor, then you can ask if a change is possible. Maybe when you start school you can access counseling services there, but please make sure you open up in therapy. OOP: I get it, and I know therapy helps a lot of people. I just don’t like it. It’s not her fault, I don’t think she’s a bad therapist and I’ve done therapy before and didn’t like it. Maybe at school when I’m on my own it’ll be better. I just feel like it’s a waste of time right now. Commenter 2: Does your Dad know what your stepmother said? If he does, and hes done nothing, theres nothing to say to him. Let him have his wretched wife and go on with life without him. A good parent doesnt kick their child out of the house when that parent has endangered them because of gross negligence. Hes already a failure in many ways. Add his wife and not sure what his redeeming quality is. Your grandmother could facilitate seeing your brothers without seeing your dad. As you have said in the post, you may not be in the headspace to see him. Adding the pressure of Christmas on top of that, its probably not the best idea. Your mom is emotional because she knows you've been hurt and its bad, but she cant do qny of it for you. Good moms want to take the bullet for their kids and spare them hurt and hardship. She cant do that now and its hard. No, it didn’t happen to her, but it happened to her baby and watching her baby hurt is very difficult. It is not on you to comfort her or support her or shield her, I'm just trying to explain. I hope you have a good Christmas and can start counting down to college with sincere joy and excitement. Fingers crossed they take pleas and you get peace from that part. OOP: Idk if he knows. I doubt she knows that I know even. My cousin just saw the text on her mom’s phone and told me. She might have just been venting or something but i don’t care. I don’t know if they’ll let me just see them without them there but I can ask my grandma. Like I don’t know if they’ll let know that’s happened and I won’t tell them or anything but maybe they don’t want my brothers to be a part of it. Idk. OOP on her father not being very supportive to her OOP: I don’t think it’s that though. I just feel like that he could have stopped all of this but didn’t want to. And if he’s like ohh I’m so sorry this happened I’d be like are you? I told him they were bothering me for weeks and he didn’t do anything and now wants to act like he cares because it looks bad that I won’t talk to him or see him. I don’t believe he actually cares about me and what happened to me. Has OOP read the letters that her father has sent her at her mother's house? OOP: I don’t know. I don’t read the letters. He could still think he did nothing wrong. Even if he did, it’s not like he’s sending them every day like he was before. So I feel like probably in a few months they’ll just stop and in time he’ll just forget about it all. He might already be starting to forget, and maybe that’s for the best. My therapist had me write my dad a letter but not send it, and it wasn’t very nice and that’s how I know I probably shouldn’t talk to him for a while. I feel like I blame him more than my ex and his friends for what happened. Yes they are awful but it’s supposed to be my dad’s job to take care of me and keep me safe and instead he threw me away like trash. And maybe he’s just trying to connect with me because it looks bad that I won’t talk to him. Idk. I’m sure he’ll get over it. This time next year he probably won’t even be thinking about it or me. Unfortunately I doubt I’ll forget about it ever.   Final Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

The meeting of the council had been a truly transcendent experience. In the social and fraternal sense, in being accepted so openly as family by another species so far from Earth. In the diplomatic and political sense. Whatever happened with the star systems in the short term, this was the start of something truly special, Jerry could tell. The Empress of Serbow would have taken them in as subjects, which was a fairly warm welcome as things stood, but the Cannidor were - are - happy to accept Humanity and the Undaunted as kin, and equals. Jerry looks up at the stars as the air car slips out of the wilderness and over one of the industrial zones outside of High Canis, dropping out of high transonic speeds. He'd had his men split up and leave by separate routes, some heading back to orbit by shuttle or the Olympia, and others departing for various locations on planet by a mix of air vehicles. Jerry had picked out a rather luxurious 'open top' armored VIP air car for his own use, axiom fields and heavy duty shields keeping things comfortable at higher speeds and altitudes. Plus it could also 'put the top up', pressurize and make short sub-orbital hops or trips to low orbit, like say to rendezvous with the Tear. That such a thing had been purchasable 'off the rack' and was normal for VIP transport was one of those things that made most Earth borne Undaunted shake their heads and wander off muttering for a minute or two. Not that Wichen had resisted modifying the sleek beauty, but she'd refused to tell him what she'd done, calling it a 'surprise'. With him are Nezbet, Joan and Sergeant Major Gurung, along with a few others from his entourage and a pair of pilots. Unfortunately, being the boss means you’re never truly done working, and Jerry had accepted a meeting for cocktails with a group of industrialists a few hours time zone-wise behind where the meeting with the Council of Patriarchs had taken place. These were mostly decent sorts, involved in no conflicts beyond the occasional labor dispute; their interest is almost certainly in trying to get a slice of Undaunted development of their new worlds before Cannid Solutions eat the entire pie. Which Jerry, and more importantly Admiral Cistern, are certainly open to. Healthy competition keeps things fair… and, more important, diverse supply lines are harder to muck up. Even when you’re dealing with a pan-galactic entity like Cannid Solutions. Plus, there’s a wide variety of things that Cannid Solutions doesn't have a hand in. Farming equipment, for example - and Admiral Cisterns and the admiralty board have all sorts of agricultural work in mind for the new, fertile territories of the Undaunted. While food was hardly scarce amongst the stars, at least one of the worlds Komugai was granting them appeared to be just about perfect for growing crops from Earth. Goods from home would be critical for the fledgling Human diaspora as it grows off-Earth… and, much like Jerry's own operations, could be a source of easy money from the wider galaxy. People would be drawn at first by curiosity and mystery about what the mysterious people of Cruel Space eat, then, over time, Human produce and meat would prove their market viability and the Undaunted could adjust to producing ever larger amounts of goods for the galaxy. Beef, for example, seems set to challenge the common Lanwrack, a giant bipedal lizard that offered a particularly meaty tail that it wasn't terribly attached to, and could quickly regrow, as one of the galaxy's favorite proteins. Terran staples like chicken have their place in the galactic diet as well; the people of Earth had done a fine job even by galactic standards for breeding and bio-engineering their favorite meat animals to be absolutely delicious. One of the corporate types to be at the meeting is a regional manufacturer of cloning goods. That one’s personal and Undaunted business both. For one, they'd need medical grade cloning technology to build new hospitals on their worlds, including a central naval hospital currently in the planning stages. For two, there’s the business of establishing another large Bridger conglomerate facility on the same worlds. Syl’s already hard at work hiring senior staff for that one. Open-air ranching and large scale cloning to feed the breadth of the Cannidor khannates and beyond in tandem with their Kelaris cloning facility. Things have been scaling up quickly. Very quickly, indeed. It’s a testament to Syl's skill as an administrator and businesswoman that she’s been able to keep all of the plates spinning, especially with their Serbow facility starting to bring their tanks online. The first order? Internal. The first group of calves would be put to pasture to start growing naturally. The best examples of that group would be set aside for natural reproductive cycles, which would again be an even higher tier of product for the omnivores and carnivores of the galaxy who don't exclusively eat cloned meat. Or rather 'vegetarian carnivores', as they’re called off-Earth. It should be a triumphant moment, as he seemingly grasps the stars in his hand, but there are still dark clouds in his sky… and a flash of red light from a sudden laser bolt suddenly has the pilot taking evasive maneuvers! Jerry turns around in his seat, his pistol already in his hand, and takes in a small group of air bikers escorting three blacked out air cars. "What the hell? Was our route leaked?" Jerry shouts as lasers illuminate the night around them. "No, sir! No way in hell! Might be the diplomatic IFF the Cannidor have us flying under so the air traffic controllers know to give us priority!" the co-pilot calls back. The kid’s a junior officer from Rowdy's special forces aviators who'd been excited to draw the job to fly the boss around - and is looking decidedly less enthusiastic about the whole thing now. "Scramble it, flight officer! And if there's any guns on this thing, get'em blazing! The rest of you, arm-" The order for everyone to arm themselves dies in Jerry's throat as Joan opens fire with her GM-6 Lynx. The big .50 BMG rifle is a potent sniper weapon by default, but reconstructed for Cannidor hands it’s a stupidly potent battle rifle. Granted, something in 20mm might have been more appropriate, but the Lynx's 'fighting rifle' version fits more girls and the actions are already being mass produced, so the compromise makes sense. Besides. Even if it’s a somewhat 'small' kinetic round for a woman of Joan's scale, it's not like the rounds don't hit like freight trains down-range - especially not with Joan's talented markswomanship, which she demonstrates by putting a jagged hole in the lift engine of the nearest air bike, sending it spiraling towards the nearest roof top as its remaining lift unit struggles to keep it in the air. Not to be outdone, a turret rises out of the nominal trunk on the back of the limo; a quick glance forward reveals that the co-pilot has a different set of controls in her hands and a targeting visor over her eyes. The apparently limo boasts a potent mix of laser repeaters and a GAU-19, a gatling gun in .50 BMG. Which means it’s shaping up to be a very bad night for the would-be air pirates... but also a potential risk for their surroundings. "Flight officer! That thing's targeting algorithm accounting for what's behind the targets?" "Yes, sir! The GAU-19 won't fire without it being clear! The lasers aren't nearly as dangerous!" Weird as it is to refer to superheated light as 'less dangerous', the thermal bloom issue that held back most laser weapons means their range and hitting power are limited. Which also means the air pirates need to close the gap to have any chance of hitting them. Nezbet cackles with laughter as she raises her much beloved twin laser carbines. Her incredible strength, even in her normal form, lets her handle the cut-down laser weapons like they were pistols, and she'd recently added a pair of custom submachine guns in 7.5 FK to the carbines with a little help from the ever-genius Wichen. It's the latter weapons she opens up with now, the high velocity rounds hammering into the new lead air bike as the thug riding it leads the charge to close with them. Nezbet's tightly controlled shots hit sensitive spots on both the bike and the biker, sending them careening out of control through the night's sky! Still, they're getting closer by the second, and Gaje Gurung casually taking out two bikers with flawless headshots from his own Field Pistol isn't changing the geometry of the fight nearly as much as Jerry wants. It doesn’t help that none of this is making a lot of sense. The first enemy air car is in range, and the Undaunted find themselves being thrown around violently as the pilot dodges a series of high speed plasma blasts followed by a rave's worth of lasers. The pilot performs a violent maneuver that Jerry can't quite parse for a second, jinking up and over seemingly at random... until the GAU-19 roars like a pissed off lion, filling the engine and cockpit of the enemy air car with armor piercing, high explosive, incendiary lead. A combination lovingly known as 'Raufoss' to its many adherents on and off Earth, it makes short work, proving its value at the task it had been designed for even before its value against damn near everything had come to light. That first task? Mulching enemy aircraft. So the maneuver had been to clear their line of fire. Clever, but considering how dense the urban terrain is around here, cleverness and luck might not be enough. Certainly not enough to make a man complacent. That said, with all the passengers, Jerry included, now firing on various targets and the flight officer more or less holding down the trigger continuously for the vehicle's laser repeaters, they’re at least thinning the ranks. Sergeant Major Gurung fires his third, fourth and fifth shots of the engagement, claiming three more head shots as Jerry picks out something sensitive on the underside of an enemy air car and riddles it with bullets. He’s rewarded by a gout of flame from what had possibly been a battery compartment or something similar, and the now unstable vehicle frantically peels off as Jerry flicks the magazine of his pistol clear of the mag well and calmly slides a fresh one in. Something’s off here. His first instinct had been that the Black Khans were making a hit on him… but this is a level of overt action that Jerry and his intelligence team had not been expecting from the Khans. Further, while the attackers have certainly been dressed up to look like thugs, something just doesn't seem… authentic. Jerry draws a bead on a particularly nasty looking Horchka on an air bike and puts two rounds through her left lung before dropping his point of aim, charging his rounds with axiom through the charm in the pistol's grip, and putting three explosive rounds into the engine, leaving another air bike falling slowly out of the sky as the pilot tries to not pass out from the pain. Painful. Potentially lethal, but if she gets prompt attention she'd survive - and if she gets that prompt attention from a hospital... Well. CanSec wouldn't have too much trouble tracking down women with mysterious bullet wounds. Maybe it’s the weapons? The biker Jerry had just ventilated had a heavy laser pistol. A very clean and nearly new heavy laser pistol to his eye. The type of thing Jerry would expect from a decently well off mercenary group, not from an air biker gang, even if they had the patronage of a larger organization like the Black Khans. Just for example, they had pictures of Nikrit’s, Shalkas and Nadiri's new tag along, gear - and her pair of laser pistols, while potent, were hardly military grade. Nor are they clean. They’re beat up, modified and heavily customized by their owner with 'tags' for her gang, good luck charms and other personal signs and markings. Air bikers in particular, much like bikers on Earth, aren't generally the types to avoid decorating blank canvas when they have the opportunity to express themselves. It could be as simple as the gang having been given weapons by their patron for the hit so they couldn't be traced, but that too is a level of subtlety the Black Khans generally don't engage in. They’re well known, and their marks and calling cards are as much a part of their actions as anything else. Sanitized weapons are for plausible deniability, and you don't use real local biker crews for ops you want to be plausibly deniable. If these girls are real, their names, faces and hideouts are likely well known to local law enforcement... and while their jackets, the local equivalent to a 'cut', the leather vest Human bikers wore back on Earth, have patches, they’re all painfully generic... and unless Jerry's enhanced eyes are missing details in the dark, the backs, which generally hold markers for the gang the wearer’s a member of... well. The shapes are there, but it almost looks like they’re blank, which is really beyond the pale. If the gang’s legit, why even give them cuts at all? Why have them ride what are presumably their own machines? Or just get some shuttles or a lighter and use them as normal shock infantry. Jerry donates another hammer pair to a biker who strays too close as the GAU-19 opens up again, taking out another air car before the flight officer instantly shifts targets and fills the cockpit of the last air car with high explosive lead, detonating it in mid air. The loss of the last of their 'heavy' units seems to be enough to convince the last of the air bikers to clear off; the flashing emergency lights of oncoming security forces air vehicles and even a full size fighter just adds to the incentive. "Clear left!" Gaje calls out. Joan quickly echoes him. "Clear right!" Nezbet. "We are clear aft!" Finally the pilot shouts, "Clear forward! Reinforcements are coming in hot! They've just gotten in touch with me via a secure comm channel. Either they're authentic or we're in deep trouble, boss. Also got a platoon hot dropping from orbit in a lander with a flight of Huscarls escorting them." "Nice work, everyone," Jerry says, slowly taking a breath as he changes out the magazine in his pistol again, tucking the half empty mag away in an axiom pocket before putting the pistol on safe and sliding it back in its holster. "Lieutenant, keep us on course. We'll deal with the police at our destination. I want the platoon to finish their drop and hold the landing pad while I have my meeting, then we'll go back to orbit directly." "Aye, sir." Nezbet grins. "Husband is wanting drinks after party, yes?" "I have worked up a bit of a thirst..." His brow furrows. "Something's up. I'm not sure what exactly, but I don't like it." Joan gives him an incredulous look. "Uh. Yeah, Dad. Most sapients don't like getting shot at." Nezbet chuckles, looking pleased with herself. "Daughter is wise and strong but still has some things to learn. Is likely thinking enemies of our clan and Undaunted is Black Khans, yes?" Joan gives Nezbet a puzzled look. "Well. Yeah. Who else could it be?" "Gangsters generally do not fight like skilled mercenaries, daughter dear." "Nor do they sanitize their uniforms and weapons." Sergeant Major Gurung joins the party. "At least, not on Earth they don't. Nor did they make any demands. Just killing us would lead to all out conflict. Even this attempt will likely lead to more conflict. Taking us captive would at least give them something they could try to negotiate with. Till my fine sons and beautiful daughters cut their throats, of course." Joan scratches under her chin, clearly considering that for a moment. "So if it wasn't the Black Khans, who was it?" "Someone who stands to have much to gain from conflict between the Black Khans and the Undaunted, I think..." Sergeant Major Gurung says, stroking his chin. "Yet. I do not think it is our most obvious suspect. Lady Rikaxza... I worked with her people on Centris. She is very wise. Very clever. This... is amateurish compared to what her millennia of experience would have occur. If it was her plan to bring the Black Khans to conflict with the Undaunted intentionally we would never know it to be anything but what she wanted us to think it is." Jerry nods slowly. "I agree, actually. Rikaxza damn near went to war for me. Turning around and endangering me doesn't seem to be her style. Besides, she did give me her word, and she's always done right by the Undaunted so far as her word is concerned. Consider that something for everyone to think about on our ride back to orbit after this meeting. I'm sure intelligence will be happy to get any ideas we can give them... and if we're lucky, Shalkas and Nadiri's investigation will give us more results soon." Series Directory Last Next submitted by /u/KamchatkasRevenge to r/HFY [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Expensive_Pangolin60 WIBTA for calling off a wedding because my fiancé is extremely frugal? Originally posted to r/AITAH r/abusiverelationships and OOP's own page BoRU 1 Posted by u/ParadoxicalState BoRU 2 Posted by u/Stephenallen1977 BoRU 3 TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, trauma, financial struggles, neglect, psychological manipulation MOOD SPOILERS: sad - but generally positive overall Original Post June 06, 2023 I 31F struggle with my fiancé’s 32M frugalness and not sure if I want to marry him anymore after 3 year relationship. Throwaway as my Fiancé follows my regular account. I met my Fiancé 3 years ago. He came out of an abusive marriage just 2 years before we met. One of her absolute abuses was financial. She bled him dry. Made him buy expensive jewelry only to give it away or break it after an argument. Designer shoes, clothes, big house cars… Caribbean trips. you name it she made him pay for it. She also took him to the cleaners in the divorce. However. My Fiancé is very well off. He makes far over 6 figures almost 7. On top of that he inherited a few millions from his grandfather and his parents gifted him and his siblings also a few cool millions. So yes the financial abuse was bad but he does not suffer financially. He has more money than he will ever need. So last year I moved into his house. I do not pay rent but I split the bills and buy food. I pay for my own clothes and jewelry. I have a good job and I can take care of myself. However things have been taking a turn for the worse and I feel miserable. His house was empty when I moved in. He had hand me down furniture. Maybe 3 forks and 2 knives. He wouldn’t put on the heating so the house felt cold and moldy. He has no curtains, no decorations. His ex took everything not bolted down and he was too cheap to replace it. Just imagine a million dollar house like that! I am grateful that I can live in his house. It is something I could never afford myself. But I didn’t want to live in squalor! So I bought some kitchen supplies, some furniture… but at some point I realized I was dipping in my savings all the time and he did nothing. I looked into curtains but those things are expensive. His house has so many windows it is crazy. I didn’t want to pay for this anymore. I told him I needed a fund to furnish his house. He blew up at me that I was just with him for his money. I pointed out all the money I spend on his house. The gifts and the trips because he pays for nothing ever. Because he wants to be sure I am not here for the money. The fact is, if we break up I have nothing… the house is not mine. If I spend all my savings on his house I will be left with absolutely nothing! He wants a prenup and I am fine with that but I can’t help but feel used. Next to that I am jealous of his ex wife. I feel like she got treated and I am neglected. He proposed to his ex on a cruise with a 10.000 dollar white gold diamond ring. I got the rhodium plated Swarovski stuff that might cost like 100 bucks. The proposal was at a picnic in the park I organized, payed groceries for and slaved in the kitchen for. I almost said no out of pure disappointment . However I am afraid to bring it up and to be called a golddigger. I don’t want to be funding a millionaire’s lifestyle. He loves everything as long as I pay for it. As soon as he has to pay it is frivolous, unnecessary…. I can live like a poor person by myself. At least the fact there are literal millions lying around doesn’t hang over me to bum me out.and I would just be paying for my own lifestyle. WIBTA for calling of a wedding purely for financial reasons. Because I love this man, but I imagine our cheap wedding in contrast to his ex her extravaganza, will our future kids be able to have some luxuries? Or only if I pay for it? What if I ever become a stay at home mom? Will I have to beg to put the heating on? Edited to answer questions I see a lot: I know the abuse is not made up. His family and friends told me seperate stories of the abuse they witnessed. Not only did it confirm it, it showed me she was way more terrible than I thought. Like stealing heirloom jewelry of his grandma with alzheimer right after she was widowed. Pretending she was gifted these things even though every one knew grandma hated her guts. I did not realize or see he is doing the same to me as she was to him and he is (subconsciously) punishing me for what was done to him. I am not trying to force a lifestyle in him where he was previously happy in. He told me prior to moving in that he left his house like this because he was depressed after his wife took everything ( even the curtains) that it makes him sad and he wants a cozy home. He just didn’t know where to start. His house is paid off, thanks to grand dad. He isn’t actually spending much on utilities either, house is very well isolated and has solar panels. It is weird to see how cheap being rich really is. I am not asking for designer furniture. Ikea all the way and I have refurbished second hand furniture myself. I am actually pretty thrifty . I see where my jealousy over the ex her lifestyle might have triggered some people. Let me explain. A 10.000 dollar ring is insane and stupid to me. I do not want that because I would fear for losing it every day. I don’t need an over the top wedding … however, it almost feels like for her he did effort. Wanted to give her what made her happy. Put effort and thought in it. With me it almost feels like he wants to prove how little he can give me. He talked about how he would see the wedding and it is cheaper than my actually financially struggling cousin her wedding. I can’t help but feel he wants to demonstrate how cheap he can treat me! And I already feel embarrassed about the family that would have been to both and I will feel like the discount wife. I don’t like to say it but it feels like he gets of on it to some extend. We are almost talking washing paper plates at this moment. Yes I did discuss selling the mansion I really don’t need and move to a more modest house. Especially knowing this is the house his ex picked. He doesn’t want to do that. He loves this house… but I feel really intimidated living in a house I could never afford anyway. And so many large windows… tjeesh I havn’t talked to him yet but pauze on the marriage and counseling is a must . I already am looking for IC because I realized I might indeed be too much of a people pleaser allowing him to control me with the ghost of his ex. I also am going to seperate for a while. I am looking to rent something for a few months so I can get some space. Thank you all for your insights ! RELEVANT COMMENTS SeniorDay NTA. - “I understand you’ve had some trauma in your past and I’m sorry you went through that. But I can’t allow you to mistreat me because of it. It burns me up inside that you gave her everything, but I have to beg for the bare minimum. I deserve to feel cherished by my partner, as I have cherished you.”* OOP Oomph that hit me right in the feels. ~ moth_girl_7 “I am not with you because of the money you have, and if you can’t trust that then that’s something you need to work on. I cannot live without heat, furniture, curtains, and basic decency just to prove to you that I am not a financial abuser like your ex. It feels as if you are projecting that image onto me and that is unfair.” His way of coping is extremely unhealthy. What he should be doing is talking to a therapist about how he can communicate his needs to you, not shutting you out and behaving the complete opposite of how he did with this ex. He should set some healthy boundaries on how he spends his money, sure, but he also needs to acknowledge that you asking for some financial contribution to the house you live in isn’t the same as his ex demanding he take her on a cruise. He needs to find some ways he can feel appreciated when he does spend money on things you benefit from, and he needs to trust that he is in full control of his money, you have no desire to take that from him.* Update 1 June 10, 2023 (4 days later) Originally posted to r/AITAH, but was removed by the mods. Preserved on user's account. Okay I hope this update makes sense because I am very confused and not really doing that well at the moment. Well Reddit you changed my life. thank you so much for all your ideas and insights. Honestly I don’t think I would have had the courage to do what I did without you guys. I went to therapy Took the day off just to get my racing mind to calm down. Therapy has confirmed things you guys suspected. I am a people pleaser, I wanted to “save” him and I have internalized the idea that any effort and every penny I want him to spend on me makes me a gold digger. I will have weekly sessions to work on me. I realized I would have never taken this treatment from any of my exes. Even though I made more then them. The idea I had to proof myself “ worthy “ to be with a millionaire and not be in there for the money got in to my head pretty early. I called one of his siblings I am pretty close with and just told her everything. She was not surprised but just sad about how unhappy he was making me. She told me that from the day we started he had this idea that “ I was out of his league”. He struggled to understand why I wanted to be with him and he probably just thought : it must be my money. She told me she already talked to him in the past to treat me better. She was furious about the proposal. This information confused me a little. I was a little hurt she never discussed any of this before but she thought it was none of her business. She also explained how she and her husband organized their finances. He also doesn’t have as much as her. I took the opportunity to pack a bag. I haven’t n’t found a place yet but I am going to stay with my parents. I made up my mind that I will at least want 6 months apart to get myself in order. I made sure my stuff was in the car because honestly I had no idea how the conversation would go. so into the most difficult part. The talk. I waited for him to come home. He was pretty late but I didn’t want to sleep another night on this. Pretending I was fine while I was contemplating all this just ate me up. I had written down what I wanted to say. I have never been so scared before. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know how he would react. I took some advice from here. I opened that I was moving out and that I wanted to pauze our engagement. He was very quiet and just sat down. I told him he really hurt me by calling me a golddigger and that I am done walking on eggshells and feeling guilty for just wanting basic things. I told him I was unhappy and felt neglected. I also told him that after 3 years of me showing up for him he still doesn’t think I am here for him, it is not going to happen. He was just quiet. He didn’t say anything. I told him that the constant comparing to his ex was unhealthy and unfair.Punishing me for her sins was abusive. I told him comparing her to me all the time has triggered me comparing myself to her and starting to feel like she was worth more than me. One of the things about her was mostly ungratefulness. He would do nice things for her but it was never enough. The thing is, he doesn’t do nice things for me and I have to be grateful for the pleasure of picking up the bill. I told him he was not ready for marriage. That I dreaded having kids with him and live like this. That is didn’t trust he would take care of me if I would become a SAHM. And at that point I just called him abusive and a user. I was getting pretty angry saying all this out loud. Losing my composer and script a little bit. He remained quiet with almost no emotion on his face. I stayed quiet but nothing came out so I decided that I would just leave. Only when I got up to go he said please don’t go. He asked me if I was pausing the wedding or calling it of. He wanted to know if it was over or if he still had a shot. I told him I wanted out of this house. I honestly don’t want to live in his ex her palace of sadness anymore. I needed him to go to therapy and especially financial therapy. I needed a separation. I told him I was open to couples counseling if he went into IC. He begged me not to do the separation but honestly I really really wanted it. I just told him to think about it and I left him. He was finally showing some emotions. He was crying at this point. He sent me a very long text somewhere in the AM. Told me he was a wreck and couldn’t sleep. He made all kinds of promises. He would go into therapy, sell his house, buy a smaller one and make sure I am taken care of whatever happens. He said he would help me decorate and we will make a home. He again asked me to please come “home”. But to me it doesn’t feel like home there anyway. I feel very empty and tired. I have been sleeping most of the day. I feel guilty but also a little bit relieved if that makes sense.I don’t know if I actually want back if he does all that. Idk I am a little unsteady right now. I need some time to proces. I will go back for the kitchen supplies and my tv. I won’t take anything else of the furniture. This for the exact same reason I was unwilling to buy everything: his house is huge so the couch is huge … I can’t take it. Update2 Jul 04 2023 (1 month later) Hi everybody. Let me just say I am overwhelmed by the number of people really caring about me and asking for updates. Strangers who care about you is a feeling like no other thank you! So as I said I left. I am looking for an apartment I can afford. My parents are helping out. I am living with them and saving up. I am not closing all doors but as for now we are broken up. I have no contact. The first week he transferred a large amount to my account. It really rubbed me the wrong way. It just showed me that he still thought that money was what kept me here. I deducted the couch I left and transferred everything else back I asked for no contact after this. He has been respectful of it and I feel free at the moment. I felt guilty for my needs. For wanting to be taken out every once and a while. The longer I am out the harder I realize it was abuse. I have an autoimmunity problem and the cold house caused it to flare up. Even after that he kept turning the heat down. He rather have me miserable than pay what? 100 dollars extra in the end of the year? The last thing I heard is that he put the palace of sadness on the market. I have seen the adds so happy he is going through with that. I heard of his sister that he is in therapy. I am happy for that and I hope he keeps that up! He is keeping his promises so far but I need to see real change and even then I really don’t know. I am building my own life by myself. Thinking about getting a puppy. If I give him another shot. It has to start all from scratch. I want to start dating again and take it slow. Therapy is really a good idea. I now know I was just bringing this on myself as a people pleaser. Savior… wanting this man to be happy so bad I forgot about myself. Never again. So that is all there is to say really RELEVANT COMMENTS gurlwithdragontat2 Best of luck! Please never forget your worth again, because others will shortchange you if so.* OOP True! I allowed this from day one and let him play his fantasy revenge on me. The red flags were there so early. Loving ourselves is the key to a happy life ~ ​ SummerFlip My question is, did you previously communicate your feelings before just ending it? Did you wait until you stopped loving him?* OOP I did. Multiple times. I had a few break downs where I told him I was unhappy especially when my autoimmunity disease just kicked into high gear I told him I was done being cold. Then the discussions started about what is cold and I had to negotiate a temperature setting he was okay with , he would still turn it down behind my back. The curtains were just the last straw for me. He was giddy and happy about all other changes I made to his home with my money I thought it would not be so weird to ask him to pitch in right? I had done so much, sacrificed so much and he still blew up at me? What kind of golddigger pays for everything for 3 years? If I was one I was really bad at it So yes I communicated, over and over and nothing changed. I am pretty shocked he is actually doing something right now but honestly I think it is a little too late. I don’t want to shut the door completely but I will never ever be cold in my life ever again Financially abusive fiancé : It’s over for good, my final update Sep 21 2023 (3 months after OG post) Thank you for everyone reaching out to me. I have closed in on a little apartment for myself. I got a puppy. After being in a home where I was truly loved: my parents I realized how sad, cold and alone I had been. Over time I went blind for a lot of things. Blind to a comfortable home temperature. Comfortable with thinking about every penny spend. Feeling guilty for buying that dress I wanted for so long that was finally on sale. Feeling entitled for wanting date nights… being treated sometimes. I started to think about what makes me happy. I love to travel, dress up to go to a nice restaurant. Throw dinner parties, entertain people, think about Christmas gifts 6 months in advance. Have a cosy house…. And I realized just how much he had taken from me with that one little sentence: is that really necessary… Is anything ever? If you have a roof, food, bed and a TV you are there right? Is travel necessary? Is having nice clothes necessary? Is a shower necessary? A haircut? A party? A hobby? A wedding? No! I know now that abusers are not per definition bad people. He is broken and he has trauma I have no time or energy for. He got free from abuse and decided to become the abuser. I know he is in therapy and we initially agreed on 6 months no to low contact. But I felt I was certain it was not for me anymore and I didn’t want to keep him dangling. Breaking up with him was very hard. It made me very sad. I never wanted to hurt him and I loved this man very deeply. I wanted us to be each others happy ever after. We both came from dark places and I wanted us to thrive together. His family told me I was the one, I was everything he was looking for and I felt so lucky. But we only have 1 life and he has so much work to do before he even becomes the bear minimum of what I needed. I feel failed. Like my story has a bad ending. I feel very broken and sad. I will take my time to just be me. I hope he does the same. I truly hope he finds the one and becomes happy. Mostly I hope that for myself but for now I am enough by my self with the pupper! Thank you all for your time and support. I am going to have a little cry in some furbaby’s fluffy fur RELEVANT COMMENTS NolaCat94 This is so far from a bad ending. A bad ending would've been staying until nothing was left of you. A bad ending would've been him bleeding you dry and you being stuck. You put yourself first and that will always be good. And to add to the positivity, this is probably the kick he needed to get past his trauma.* OOP I think you are spot on. He has said these things himself. He didn’t know how bad he was until he came home to me leaving. He has told me he hates himself for letting me walk and letting me be this miserable. He is in therapy ( as far as I know because I am No contact ) and I hope he does well. I really felt once I was out how much of myself was lost. I went through quite a dark time realizing how far I went for this man. But I am getting better. ~ ZestyLemonAsparagus It does feel like a sad ending, I get the sadness of knowing the magical ending wasn’t going to happen, of the hope that he would see the light and make the changes he needed to in order to make you feel valued. But at the end of the day it’s a happy ending as well, you have a puppy who loves you and he demonstrated through his anger that he still holds his values of stinginess higher than he holds you, so you don’t have to wonder. This really, really feels like the ending of Inside Out, where a core memory comes in and it is a mix of Joy and Sadness. And sadness isn’t bad, sadness helps us remember what is important. You are important. I’m happy for you that you have been able to connect with the things that bring you joy, and surrounded yourself with them.* But… please stay open. I know you have joked that you are fine being single forever, and if that is the course of your life, then that’s all well and good. Being single doesn’t mean lonely as you truly know while you entertain in your apartment. Guard yourself against become a version of your ex in the same way he became a version of his ex, not that you would abuse others but that you would abuse yourself by closing yourself off from people to keep yourself safe. You deserve that joy, and all the happiness in the world.* OOP Thank you. I will be open to someone again but only when it comes out of a place of “ wow this person is something else” not interested in anything else. I know now I ran past several red flags just because this man could give me the life I dreamed of. Married, nice house, some kids. A life with no worries … but he was not that man. He has send me letters upon letters how sorry he is, taking accountability. But I can’t anymore. I just don’t want to try again. I hope he does well for himself. He is in therapy and doing his best. I hope he is happy one day. I just don’t want to be part of it anymore. So yes it is no Disney ending. But it is also not my ending. It is a real beginning ~ Ok-Act-8736 He’s now taking accountability? Last time he was angry at you for not respecting what je can do with his money* OOP Yep he is very sorry about that. He doesn’t know why reacted like that. He is ashamed about it. Money suddenly doesn’t matter to him anymore. These are all things in his texts letters and phone calls. But it has been a while since I have had contact with him. Even if he changes a lot now… my question is : why couldn’t he do that then. I got sick, when I got sad and told him I was unhappy… why can he only change when he is in pain because I left? That says it all. I really hope he finds himself and that he will be happy in the future but I don’t want to be part of it anymore Some things that kept me on my path during leaving my abusive relationship Dec 26, 2023 (4 months since last update) I was in a financially abusive relationship. With enough time passing now I am more comfortable with the word abuse. I fought it for a long time because he did not scream at me, hit me or called me names. He just used triangulation and the image of his abusive ex to use my own kindness against myself and to get me to fall in line. Spend my limited savings into furniture, luxuries and nights out for a goddamn multi millionaire just to have some comfort in life. Constantly trying to prove I was no gold digger by having 0 needs, living in a cold house and buy him everything he could ever want. I never lived a impoverished existence then when I was with a person who actually had loads of money. More than I could possibly comprehend. When I left I really struggled to keep at it. I was so scared to go at life by myself. To actually have to pinch Pennie’s. He kept telling me what I wanted to hear for so long. Went into therapy, begged me to come back. It digged into my resolve. Made me doubt if I was making a mistake. A few things made me go on: My colleagues who are more friends than coworkers who knew all my stories into details hugged me and told me they were so proud of me for leaving. Their feeling was so authentic it rubbed off on me. I was also proud I left and I couldn’t let them and me down by going back My boss once passed my office when I was working late and he said:” Never give men second chances! They never change. You deserve someone who gets it right from the start.” I don’t know what prompted him to say this to me but it stuck with me. My trainer who knows some stories said to me: you gave everything to get less then nothing back ! It is like me getting a 100 bucks from you and to repay you I’ll take another 100 bucks from your wallet! why would you want to take that deal again? He has a debt with you he can’t repay and I don’t mean cash. I mean emotional energy, love and kindness. I read somewhere: don’t wake up in the same miserable place 10 years from now because you feared the change you have to make today. That hit me very hard. I have bought my own apartment. I felt like a poor little mouse being surrounded by people who make my monthly wage in a few days! But the fact is I have a very good job. I earn far above average. I am able to have a nice place, nicely furnished. And I can even support a puppy. I live by myself but feel endlessly more warmth then in a relationship. I love myself way more. I am not riddled with guilt over wanting to have a cozy house. Go out for dinner sometimes. I am so happy I dragged myself out of this relationship. I kept at it and moved on. Keep going. One foot in front of the other. It is hard but you can do this! I am proud of you! OOP Updared in the comments Apr 9, 2024 (4 since last update) The money is gone. I am not going to get that back or fight for it. I even had to block him because at some point he got petty and wanted me to pay rent for the time I lived with him so no way I was opening that discussion. Whatever… lesson learned . I may look poor compared to millionaires but I am doing fine. The sister and I did get along for a while. We share a hobby and talked about that. But recently I have been official and out in the open with my new boyfriend and she struggles with this. Maybe she was hoping it would still work out or something I don’t know. But she has been one a lot colder. This man… wow! People say never settle because there is better out there for you… I never believed it. Honestly I was ready to be a crazy dog lady for the rest of my life. I was enjoying being single. My friends urged me to start dating just to get the hang of it… he was my 3rd date. I went against my will and was 100% not into it but when I saw him in real life…omg sparks flew like never before ! I am in my thirties so you would have thought experienced it all… but this??? Wow He is everything my ex was not. He is kind and caring. Cooks me dinner. Gets flustered but is grateful for gifts he gets. He treats me to dinners. Will not even allow me to go Dutch on it. He has planned and booked dates and trips months in advance even before we were well and good official. Buys me gifts! He is not as wealthy as my ex. But he makes a good living. His income is comparable to mine but he treats me like a queen. And between me and you ( and all redditors that dig this deep in the comments) the love making is INSANE ! I guess giving people give everywhere freely. So please take away to never settle! Ever ! Trust the process babe! RELEVANT COMMENTS ConditionBig6373 I hope you told him off! After the abuse you suffered he should shit his mouth and be grateful you didn't sue him for emotional distress! OOP Too much energy to waste on a man who wasted so much already. I just never want to see him again. I hope he finds the help he needs and I hope he becomes a happy person but I do not want to be anywhere near him. I am so happy with my current boyfriend. I don’t understand how I fought for so long to keep this man. NEW UPDATES * Update in the comments of the previous post July 15, 2025 (nearly 16 months later) He is so far in my rear view mirror I really don’t care. But you are spot on. Honestly looking back he kept getting worse and worse and I think at some point he got off on how I was running out of money and his pile of money got bigger and bigger. Giving him controle over me. He sold the house. That is what I know. He and his sister fell out. Her social media profile picture is one of us … which I think is pretty funny. He is still single. Meanwhile I am absolutely head over heels with my partner. We both had major promotions at work. We will never be multimillionaires as we don’t have generational wealth. But I live in a warm house, furnished. We go on trips, we go out on dates. Our money is pooled. I live a wealthy loving life… while he still hords his money living in squalor … I never told anyone this because I was afraid to be recognized… also afraid to be judged further because I saw their abuse and did too little. But he has kids with his ex. These kids are being abused. Sleeping on broken beds, getting cheap toys, cheap trips on holiday. He never does anything fun with them. They also sleep in the cold moldy house. I was also paying for toys for them. Trips for them. I fought so many times over those kids. I also stayed longer because of them. They were such grateful and sweet kids. It also makes me doubt some of the stories about his ex. She is a great mom, and I feel sad she has to leave her kids with that man ( he was just a weekend warrior) Now that I admit this. I feel again so weird about staying so long. I recognized the abuse in the kids, but not in myself. So I hope he did stay in therapy. I hope he is better for their sake. I hope they are okay. Final Update July 22, 2025 (Nearly 16 months after last update) Editors Note: OOP's posts were shared to a YouTube channel so OOP made an update to that channels Reddit page Fun fact Charlotte, I was a fan of yours, that is why I brought my relationship issues to Reddit, Reddit changed my life and now my story was featured on your show! Full circle First off , that was such a weird experience. I listen to you when I do the boring work things … and I was like” huh… wow so similar to my ssst… hold up! “ Also your team went like 12 comment layers deep to find my confession about how amazing the love making is with my partner. Omg blush Reddit saved my life, but I went to Reddit because of hearing you tell these stories. I never realized how my story resonated with others. I mean it when I say that I would have never found the bravery to break it up without having Reddit in my ear telling me “ this is not normal!!” It is weird to hear it all back. Hear how chaotic I was and how I still believed deep down he was not abusive. But also remembering just how unhappy, cold and alone I felt back then. It was confronting to see/hear that up close again. Once I took the jump a lot of friends and coworkers told me I was brave. That they were proud of me. I don’t see it as a failure anymore. I see it as one of my biggest triumphs! It looks easy from a post to leave. But it is not. I do urge everyone who finds themselves dreading to go home, sad and alone in a relationship where they are the only ones who are trying to change anything, begging for bear minimum treatment… to please do the hard thing. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life! Me and my partner bought a house together. We are still extremely happy. After our first date I texted my best friend: I am marrying this guy, if he asks me tomorrow I’m running to the church. This relationship feels like a movie! And we are beyond the limerance phase, this is real. The puppy is no longer a little pupsy but a big boy. He is in love with my partner. That is his favorite person. So my dog and I fell in love with the same person. I never shared pics of him because I didn’t want to be identified. But my gosh that seems to be a crime! I will add some. RELEVANT COMMENTS RemarkableMousse6950 I remember your story and worrying about you and your big heart. I’m SO HAPPY to read this update! Congratulations and keep living your best life! OOP Thank you so much! I am wildly happy. My partner is my dream and I am his and we are both so grateful to have found each other. Thinking about still being in that place… oomph that would be a nightmare OOP made this comment to a post about receiving a letter from an ex AIO or is this letter my ex sent AI? Aug 9, 2025 Fun fact. I recently discovered I had an unread message from my ex in a mailbox I never use. It got lost in spam and I only found it because I was looking for a mail of his sister so I typed her last name. It was a longwinded apology and how our relationship broke down but he blamed me still and so far out I couldn’t fathom how I would fall I deleted it. I did not even read it completely. Silence is the best answer. He just wanted the last useless word. What does this thing even say? No answer, no contact … okay byyyeeeee THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]