Skateboard For Kids 6 8

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Would appreciate some help! Send any & all links for suggestions of trucks wheels grip tape etc for 6 y.o. nephews first board for his bday. Mid price, nothing too cheap but not outrageous. I know he needs a 7in deck and it'll last him till about 8 or 9 so I really want to make sure it's quality. Want to make sure the kid has the perfect first board. But he's also rough with his things (kerry getz that mf into the sun probably 😥😒) and kind of a little assh**e so quality is key. Kid has absolutely no fear and TOO much energy so I feel like skateboarding will be awesome to get his energy out. My brother, the nephews dad, used to skateboard and used to ride goofy as sh** & I'm sure he'll be coachin him a bit if that helps in what and how to build his deck Also I dont remember much from my brother's skater friends & years but what tf was deck wax for? Should I get that too? Nephew will be skating rough roads in a neighborhood, my brother used to skate in a shore town so they had pavement and nice spots so maybe the wax help it from getting messed up? Thank you in advance everyone!! submitted by /u/lemongrabthatass to r/skateboardhelp [link] [comments]

Let’s face it… they were all assholes. Every Bobby was bad in a different way, like Don’s rotating entourage of secretaries who all mysteriously vanished after learning his real name. • Bobby 1 was generated by a 1950s government pamphlet titled What Children Might Look Like. Said nothing. Did nothing. May not have been alive. • Bobby 2 had the energy of a kid who knew Don was not his real dad but also knew Don was not anyone’s real dad. AMC quietly optioned his memoir just to bury it. • Bobby 3 belonged to the background furniture era. Rumor says he was literally a mannequin that accidentally received a SAG card and no one wanted to deal with the paperwork. • Bobby 4 was the only one with emotions, lines, and a soul. By then we all had Bobby induced trust issues. His solo “Father Abraham” took 203 takes and forced a shortened season. \*Most people do not realize there were four additional Bobbys who ended up on the cutting room floor, sealed away like Betty’s hopes and dreams. • Bobby 5 was fired for calling Don Dad with too much sincerity. The writers panicked and pulled the fire alarm. • Bobby 6 was a method actor. Smoked real cigarettes, demanded a divorce arc, tried to unionize the other child actors, and insisted on being paid in war bonds. • Bobby 7 wandered onto the Breaking Bad set and was last seen skateboarding in the drained pool behind the White Family house. Vince Gilligan denies everything but flinches when you say Bobby too fast. • Bobby 8 showed up with a sword and prophecy… The only Bobby with vision, which is why AMC feared him. There was an additional Bobby who has been lost to history. If anyone has any intel please share. submitted by /u/Klutzy-Sprinkles-958 to r/okbuddydraper [link] [comments]

A sad ramp story.... When my kids were little, I made a mid size skateboard ramp in our backyard. It was 9 feet tall, 12 feet wide and 32 feet long. It didn't quite get to vertical (85 degrees?). It was well made. The pipes on the back of the ramp were tensioned with 1/2 inch threaded rod to keep the middle of the ramp from getting mushy. It was covered with a base layer of 1/2 inch plywood and two layers of 3/8 inch plywood. The sides of the ramp were 3/4 inch plywood doubled up. I could have parked my pickup truck on it. The last picture shows the completed back of the ramp. The platforms were 3 feet wide on each end. The ends were closed with plywood doors to reduce the noise. My wife decorated it with flowers, and a new wood fence replaced the chain-link fence.. The electric power line to the back of the house was raised on poles to 8 feet over the top of the ramp. In the last picture, the little surrounding fence was necessary to keep the 130 pound dog-wolf-thing (on the right) from chasing people on the ramp. And then nothing happened.... At the time, I didn't realize that most kids were not into half-pipes. They were street skaters. The ramp was only used by other skateboarders on a few occasions. Some BMX guys rode it a couple of times. They were hitting the power line and the tree branches. I would ride the ramp a few times a week in the summer. I also rode a Honda Z50 on it. I am 6 feet tall and weigh 200 pounds, so I looked like a bear on rollerskates. People liked that. Sadly, because nobody really rode it, there were almost no pictures taken of the finished ramp. I have a few pictures of my kids playing on it with neighbor kids, but there aren't any pictures of anyone actually skating it. A few years later, some very noisy raccoons invaded the ramp. It was disassembled and the plywood was used for many other projects. And a few pictures are the only evidence that it ever existed.... OK, I am going to drink some beer now. submitted by /u/MiketheBike88 to r/classicskateboarding [link] [comments]

My daughter had such a wonderful experience at the skate park that I felt compelled to share it here. Before anything else, I have to say: watching everyone skate day after day gave me a whole new respect for the sport. Coming from a surfing and snowboarding background, I can confidently say skating is about 30 times harder. The grit, the patience, the commitment—huge props to all of you who do this. My 6-year-old got a skateboard for her birthday and wanted to test it out, so naturally we headed to the skate park. I’ll be honest—I was nervous. I had this idea that the skate park culture was full of unfriendly guys who didn’t want kids in their way. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Every single person we met was incredibly kind, patient, and helpful with my little one. I’m usually very involved in her sports, but skating is something I know nothing about, so I had to rely on the community for guidance. They never hesitated to give feedback whenever I asked. One 19-year-old kid was so sweet—he helped adjust her wheels one day. And on our last day of the season, the two older men we always chatted with surprised her with a board they put together: a new deck, spare wheels, and stickers. It happened to be her birthday, and they even brought her Bundt cakes and a handmade card. Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a more welcoming, generous group of people. The skate community showed us so much heart, and I’m beyond grateful. submitted by /u/AffectionatePizza721 to r/skateboarding [link] [comments]

On Tuesday 150+ students walked out to support Miles family and call for action. Miles family came and spoke with the students. I think the most moving part of the walkout, and vigil on Sunday, was kids and adults talking about Miles and sharing their own personal stories. As parents we don't know how many people our kids chat with every single day. With Miles every kid and adult had a inside joke or special bond. From the teacher who Miles helped ride a skateboard to the family members taking him out for his birthday. Even the stories of Miles sharing snacks and laughing at the lunch table I hope bring a smile to his family. I know each of those stories helps their family. If you knew Miles please share a story here of him. If you didn't know him please give some support in the comments to others. Lets show his family and friends our overwhelming support. Tell his family what he meant to you and how much you'll miss him. Remember we haven't seen many trolls but we don't respond to them. We don't debate people who don't share a base of human empathy. Downvote, report, and comment something positive on someone else's post. You can also donate to help the family buy a bench at Miles favorite place. The Urbandale Library. https://www.gofundme.com/f/honor-miles-with-a-bench-and-tree-at-the-library Please also take a minute and listen to his music. https://open.spotify.com/artist/7gkkJHtfyrN1SKsd2K2Lhj Local New stories have picked up. Front page of the Des Moines Register today. https://www.desmoinesregister.com/videos/news/local/2025/11/17/iowa-mom-reflects-bullying-misgendering-suicide/87231040007/ desmoinesregister.com/story/news/education/2025/11/17/transgender-urbandale-student-suicide-bullying/87222017007/ submitted by /u/Aefyns to r/desmoines [link] [comments]

This is part 1 of 30 in a series of calculating the WARs of each Backyard Baseball character. In each post I will be revealing the inputs and WAR total of one character, and walking through one step of the process or explaining the fundamentals of WAR. Backyard Baseball. For all you Zoomer whippersnappers out there who never had the privilege of playing this game (it's currently on Steam and mobile, by the way), the best way I can describe it is imagine if you and all the friends you grew up with got cartoonized and put into a baseball video game. In addition to spawning versions of soccer, football, basketball, hockey and skateboarding (wait, that last one can't be right...), there were also 2001 and 2003 versions of the game, featuring Major League players. The Backyard Sports wiki claims Backyard Baseball 2005 and 2007 also existed, but I have no memory of this being real, other than the vague recollection of some kids at a family friend's summer house playing an unfamiliar version of the game, so I'm going to assume that's all just Russian misinformation and ignore those last two. When I was about eight, my friend got Backyard Football on PC. Playing the game (well, mostly watching him play) had such an impact on me, when I discovered they released Backyard Baseball 2001 with players from each MLB team, I knew had to get it. I have such strong memories of excitement just holding the box in my hand, dicussing the perfect lineup, and studying every inch of the artwork. The game was pretty good, too. Fast forward over 20 years, I had my own eight year old. Hoping to give him a similar experience to the one I had, I downloaded Backyard Baseball 2003 (I wasn’t able to find BB 2001) and eventually Backyard Football, Backyard Basketball, even Backyard Soccer. We played for a couple of years, but eventually we kinda forgot about them. That is, until I found something that rocked my world. What was it? Find out in part 2! Stephanie Morgan Backyard Baseball's baseballiest character Batting: 22.0 Runs Fielding: 1.1 Runs Baserunning: 1.0 Runs Positional Adjustment: Stephanie wants to play short, but she's actually better suited to play 2B. 2.5 Runs Replacement Level: 22.2 Runs Total Runs Above Replacement: 48.8 Runs Total WAR: 5.0 Name Bat Field Running Pos. Pos. Adjustment Replacement RAR WAR ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 11.0 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 7.0 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 6.3 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 6.2 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 5.2* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 5.0 Stephanie Morgan 22..0 1.1 1.0 2B 2.5 22.2 48.8 5.0 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 4.6 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 4.6 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 4.2 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.9 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.9 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.8* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.5 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.4* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.3 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.3* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 3.2* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.9* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.9* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.6 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.6* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.5 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.4*** ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.1* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 2.0* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 1.9 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 1.8* ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 1.8 ??? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 0.4 Who's the top of the list? Who's on the bottom? What are those asterisks for? Find out next time (probably not actually next time) on [insert catchy name for the series here]! Click here for part 2! submitted by /u/slightlyaw_kward to r/baseball [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/chris0427 Girlfriend [27F] got massive tattoo for me [31M] MOOD SPOILER: Crazy Original Post - rareddit Apr 27, 2016 I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year. I’ve always made sure she knew that I wanted to take things very slow and I didn’t want anything too serious right now. Ive only been divorced for a year and I have primary custody of my kids (2 and 4) so they are and have always been my priority. I can't stress how clear I was about keeping our relationship casual... Anyways, I have a lot of tattoos. I won’t pretend like they’re all super meaningful but most of the bigger pieces are related to my hobbies, friends, family, random shit I’m into. My girlfriend only had the tiniest tattoo on her ankle. I was away last week doing the Vegas bachelor party/road trip thing and she texts me that she has a surprise for me and sends me a pic of the tattoo. It is a tree that starts at where ass meets leg (not sure of the name for that) and ending on the back of her neck. The branches have shitty tattoos that are copies of many of mine. A few in particular piss me off, one is a copy of a tattoo my buddies and I got done to commemorate a friend that died. Another is very similar to one of mine that was inspired by a drawing my kid did. I showed it to my friends and they all think she is fucking crazy. Her explanation is just that she liked my tattoos so she wanted to get similar ones but in her own design, and she did it to honor me. She said she got it for me. She went to a shitty artist so it looks pretty bad and the design isn't too great in itself, which I think defeats the purpose of honoring someone, and they mean literally nothing to her. Between her copying my tattoos and having a genuinely shitty tattoo covering her entire backside, I really don't find her sexy anymore, it is a huge mood killer. She was my "dream girl" in bed so without that there isn't much left. I'm starting to consider just breaking up with her because what she did seems so insane. On the other hand we've been dating for almost a year and I am really into her, and she now has this giant tattoo that's "honoring" me so breaking up would suck. Opinions? tl;dr: girlfriend got huge back piece that is a copy of many of my tattoos in an attempt to honor me but I just find it to be a big turn off RELEVANT COMMENTS brokenelk She is crazy. That is so completely fucking insane. I would run, run far. If she got a tattoo to commemorate something special between you two, meh. But to copy your tattoos??? Bat shit crazy. And ones that were so personal to a life before her. OOP I haven't explained what they all mean to her so she might not know that the one tattoo is commemorating my friend but still, it's pretty crazy right? iswearimhelping It's even crazier that she doesn't know the meaning of them. It's like she just wants to wear your skin. katkriss I had to check that I wasn't on nosleep. This made me shudder. OP, run! Hold onto your skin! [deleted] Did she do all this off of memory? 8 hours isn't a drunken tattoo mistake. Was this maybe planned? Did she take pictures of all your tattoos? It is weird that 1) her friends and 2) the tattoo artist did not say anything OOP I'm guessing it's based off pictures. Newer or shitty artists don't seem to care what they tattoo as long as they get paid. ~ Stuffaknee She got a detailed butt-to-neck tattoo finished in one sitting? I won't lie, I'm kind of impressed. She sounds nuts though and you don't talk about any of her good qualities other than being your dream girl in bed, so dump away I guess? OOP It's not done yet but yeah, she sat there for 8 hours getting this shitty tattoo. She does have really good qualities but I never saw her as future wife material you know? lolitot If you never saw her as future wife material in the first place then why is this even an issue? Just break up with her and move on. Why do you need the validation of strangers to convince you to do something it seems you already know you want to do? OOP Two reasons, one is that despite not wanting to get married right away I was still really into her and this came out of left field and the other is if I do break up with her, she's probably going to feel pretty bad now that she has the giant tattoo on her back. [deleted] As harsh as it may sound, the tattoo really isn't your problem. That was a crazy, crazy thing to do and you are in no way responsible for all the negative fallout she will suffer because of it. When told to just let his gf live with a bad decision tattoo It would also give me piece of mind that someone out there doesn't have the same tribute tattoo my buddies and I have for a friend that passed. Granted, she removed the text so it doesn't mean much without it but still I'd rather that not be on her. Update - rareddit May 6, 2016 (9 days later) First post was removed but it was about how my girlfriend got a tattoo of a tree and on the branches were copies of some of my tattoos, a couple that were very personal (memorial piece for a friend and drawing by my kid). I thought I had been very clear about not wanting anything serious. Quick update. We broke up. I tried to stick it out but the tattoo was too much of a turn off and I just didn't find her attractive anymore, which is the opposite of what she had intended with it. The break up went about as expected, she completely lost it and yes, she was mad because she thought it would lead to something more serious eventually. My artist agreed to "finish" the piece for her and he will cover up the bits that match my tattoos. It should be very easy since there wasn't any shading yet. I'm glad she agreed to see him because now her tattoo has a chance of looking decent and I can be certain that it will be properly covered up. I tried to get her to explain to me why she thought it was a good idea but all she kept saying was that she truly believed I would like it and she thought it would help move our relationship to the next level. I told her she should see a therapist and she told me to fuck off. So there you have it. tl;dr: we broke up and she's getting the pieces that match mine covered with more leaves. FINAL COMMENTS iNickStuff "I told her she should see a therapist and she told me to fuck off." Well, shit. Clearly the tattoo wasn't thought through very well. Now she has a permanent reminder to never do something that grand again without proper self and peer-consultation. I think this worked out well for you. OOP Hopefully she's learned, that was a big mistake to make. brettatron1 And a costly one I am guessing... OOP I'm paying for the cover up, figured it's the least I could do. MadameIronMouse You must really care about tattoos looking not shitty. Kudos! OOP It's not so much that, although it does bother me. Her having the tattoo that my friends and I all have to commemorate our friend that died bothers me a lot. She got it for all the wrong reasons and didn't even know what it meant. I just want to know that it's covered up. And the kids drawing one just creeps me out. MadameIronMouse Did she know the meanings of them? OOP Well she knew that the drawing by my kids was what it is. It's obvious a four year old drew it. She didn't copy that tattoo exactly, but used his same art style for a tattoo of her and her dog. I don't think she knew that the one was a memorial for my friend but either way, it has a skateboard in it and she doesn't skate at all. Just weird that she copied it. One of the ones she copied is so stupid, I got it when I was 16 and think it's funny now because of how stupid it is and now she has it on her. OOP when asked just how huge was that tattoo It went from ass to neck diagonally across her entire back. Just the outline because she only did one session. It included a memorial piece for a friend that died and a copy of my kids drawing. It wasn't very well done either. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I started shooting almost exclusively with the Ricoh GR about 13 years ago. Ever since I met my dog in Mexico, we wandered together—with her, and with the Ricohs. I photographed our life side by side. I have a lot of photos of her—about 2,650. I’ve narrowed it down to around 200, and I’m planning to make a zine. For the interrested here the story : I found out that Gigi had cancer, a lymphoma, three months ago. She was only 9 years old. She was my service dog. I met her in Mexico during my two-year trip through Mexico–Guatemala–Belize in my truck. She followed me everywhere and protected me. I let her roam free at night. She was streetwise, always looked both ways before crossing. She was so deeply loved by so many people—it’s unbelievable. Even people who usually don’t like dogs fell in love with her. When I travel, people are happy to see Gigi again. I learned about her cancer at the Petit Laurier veterinary hospital in Montreal on March 6, 2024. I was devastated. As soon as Dr. Habib gave me the news, I couldn’t imagine living without a dog. I felt like I would die inside. I knew I needed to get a puppy and do everything I could to keep Gigi alive for a few more months so she could pass on her magic. We decided on a treatment that could extend her quality of life. The treatment was pretty expensive, and Dr. Habib generously only charged me for the medication—not for the many blood tests and appointments. It gave her four more months, when she would have had only 2–3 weeks max without it. Two days after the diagnosis, I had already found a new puppy (thanks to my network of contacts). At first, during the first two weeks, she didn’t accept her very well—gave her a few little growls. But after Evelyne came to see Gigi, Mimi came and snuggled up against her, and she accepted her. Gigi was addicted to cuddles and love. Before going to sleep, she had to go to every person to give them her paw and say goodnight—even if there were 50 people. When I ended up with a machete to my throat in Mexico and she bit the guy’s ankle until he bled—thank you, Gigi, for defending me. Last Saturday, she ran off. I thought she had gone off to die alone in the woods. I wanted her to live her last month in the countryside, in Témiscouata, with her dog friends—and to get out of Montreal with the puppy. That was good: now he walks off-leash, takes the metro, rides the bike, barely barks (except at skateboarders), has a great recall. It was time to show him cows. When she came back, she had a nosebleed and seemed very tired. I was waiting on the last dose of her anti-cancer meds in the mail. I couldn’t stop thinking about the moment of her death, getting closer and closer. She was still walking, still responding, wagging her tail. I had decided I didn’t want her to die under fluorescent lights in an office. And the closest mobile vet was 200 km away—$$$. We had to make the decision that she would be put down with a .22 bullet, which is the most ethical and painless method if you don’t have access to a vet (Dr. Habib was 700 km away). Not by me—I could never do that. But a hunter friend, who has had to do it for his own dogs, agreed to do it for me after administering a sedative. Tuesday, June 3, 2025, she seemed weak enough that I started digging her grave next to her dog friend who died last year. When I finished digging, I couldn’t find her anymore. She reappeared 2–3 hours later, lying under a fir tree near her grave, with what looked like black fly “goggles” around her eyes—the poor thing couldn’t fight the flies off anymore. I brought her inside in my arms. Once inside, she came and lay on me, and Mimi came and lay down too, and licked Gigi’s nose. I knew it would be that night or the next morning. Gigi went to lie down in the middle of the living room. The other dogs came to see her. I went to get the meds from the truck. I was so overwhelmed, crying so hard I could barely breathe. We were all gathered around her: me, Mia, François, and the five kids—Flore, Morgane, Aurore, Ivy, and Soliane... I had to decide whether we would put her down that night or the next morning. Her saliva was thick, her tongue pale. (All this happened in less than two hours.) When she started bleeding from the nose again, I knew it was the end. I had to choose: tonight or tomorrow. I was sobbing. I went to take a shower to calm down and make the decision. Ten minutes into my shower, I made the decision. I kept repeating to myself: “Gigi, you have fulfilled your mission. You can go. You’ve passed on your dog wisdom to the puppy. You can go.” Meanwhile, the kids were singing around Gigi with the other dogs: You Are My Sunshine, My Little Sunshine… Then François came to see me and told me she had just vomited. Fuck. I wouldn’t be able to give her the meds—she’d just throw them up. Five minutes later, he came back and said: “It’s happening.” I jumped out of the shower in 5 seconds and arrived just in time to see her final breath/spasm. She died at 8:20 PM. She didn’t seem to suffer. She simply stopped breathing, and her heart stopped at the same time. Mia placed candles around Gigi. We laid her on a blanket and carried her to her grave. Mia and the children picked flowers. I was so moved. I never would have thought to do all that on my own. I am so grateful. Thank you, Gigi. submitted by /u/Severe_Ad_4828 to r/ricohGR [link] [comments]

I currently live in an apartment with my twin sons who are almost 12. Things are usually pretty quiet in my apartment, unless they get a little overexcited, but that’s not overly common. My boyfriend has also 3 kids between the ages of 8-12, and they come over a few days a week. Things get rowdy sometimes, as is to be expected with 5 kids under 13, but we try to keep it to a minimum because of neighbors. Now that it’s finally starting to get nice out in Michigan, and after being cooped up so much over the winter, they’ve been wanting to go outside more. Which is GREAT because it’s better than them being in front of screens so much. They mostly play tag or hide and seek, or ride around on their scooters or skateboards. Typical kid stuff. The things that people are constantly complaining about kids not doing anymore. They know not to play right next to the building, or on other people’s patios, or anything like that. Normally everyone is quiet by 9:30, though. Well, this morning at 6 am I was taking my kids out to the bus and I noticed a letter (one page, front and back full) from my neighbor. It was a whole angry tirade about us being disrespectful and keeping her awake. I was always under the impression that quiet time started at 10, and I made sure to have them quiet after this time. There was one noise slightly after 10, but I immediately corrected it, and everyone headed out a little after that. I’ve also given her my phone number so she can let me know if things are getting too noisy, and I’ll put a stop to it, but I never heard anything from her (either by text or in person) from her last night. This letter was…a lot. Apparently she gets up between 4 and 5, and seemingly expects silence after 8pm. There was a lot of questioning about my parenting and “lack of common sense.” The 10 minutes where I had to run inside to grab something also means I don’t ever supervise my children, but this is a safe area and they were fine. She mentioned that I live in an apartment, and not my own personal home, so I need to have everyone inside by 8pm so she can sleep. Her unit is in the front of the building, right by entrance doors, and I totally get needing to sleep, but with it staying light outside later now this seems like a crazy expectation. She said she also reported us to management, but I reached out to them as well to further explain the situation. So, long story short, AITAH for letting my kids play outside and have fun? I do genuinely try to make sure everyone stays as quiet as possible, and routinely tell them to be respectful of others since we’re not the only ones living here, but isn’t noise before 10pm kind of expected in an apartment? Edit: I’m trying really hard to keep up with comments, but I’m at work so I’m struggling. I’m not purposefully ignoring any questions. Edit 2: I just want to update with some things that are getting asked a lot. -It’s highly unusual for them to be outside playing this late. Usually all of the kids are in bed and asleep by 10pm -I live in this apartment, but my boyfriend has his own apartment. We go there sometimes, but there’s more room and activities for them to do at my place -We’ve tried different sleep schedules than 10-6, but after years of perfecting it this is the schedule that works best for my boys. -Loud noises had ceased by 10pm. At this point everyone was in the parking lot for a bit longer, but they were quietly loading up the car to head back to their apartment. The noise issues my neighbor had were from 8-10. -I said we were heading out at 6. They wake up at 6, but are on the bus by 6:25. They get everything ready the night before, grab a quick snack for the bus, and eat breakfast at school -My neighbor complained about noise once almost a year ago. She hasn’t mentioned anything else about it until this letter today. She also has my phone number that I gave her when she talked to me about it a year ago, so that she can let me know if noise ever gets to be too much so we can fix it -We go to a lot of parks, go hiking, etc much more frequently than having them play here. Last night was above and beyond the exception, and not the rule -Teaching them to be respectful is something that is important to both of us. If noise levels get too high we correct them and remind them other people live here. They’re all usually pretty good about it -They were completely supervised the entire time, minus 10 minutes where something had to be done inside. During this time 2 of the kids were inside the apartment with us. submitted by /u/ThanksThick3713 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/hannahJ004 posted to r/Advice + r/Parenting + her own page Previous BoRUs: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 [New Updates]: My mum asked me to watch my siblings for a week. It’s been 9 weeks NEW UPDATES MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: child trauma, neglect of an infant, child abandonment, physical violence Please read the Editor’s notes before proceeding: Editor’s Notes: due to the lengths of earlier posts, they have exceeded character limits. I am starting this latest BoRU with the Christmas post and newest posts of 2025. This is in order to fit the posts in this BoRU here. For the full text and relevant comments from older posts, please see previous BoRUs linked at top RECAP TL;DRs – For Original and Updating Posts from March 2024 – December 2024: OOP was 19 when her mum told her she would be gone for a week prior to Christmas and needed OOP to look after her siblings and later told OOP she won’t be coming back at all. It had been nine weeks already and OOP asked if it was a serious issue for her mum with social services for her being gone that long. OOP’s father walked out on the family a few years prior and haven’t been heard since then. No one in the extended families including the siblings’ Nan wanted to help the family. It wasn’t until OOP’s older brother, Matt, who came back home to help her. Things started to look up, but with lots of fights and frustrations, because the younger siblings struggled with the fact that they don’t have their parents and no help, only having OOP and Matt. Before OOP, Matt, and their siblings got to move to a new place for a fresh start, their mum had another baby girl which upset OOP. With the family decisions, OOP, Matt, and their sister #2 are now raising their six younger siblings including the new baby. This is around the time, where the siblings are becoming a year older now. Their first Christmas together as siblings including older sister #2 joining them at their new house. OOP shares new updates on how she and her siblings are doing.   Editor’s note: Below is the last update where we were left at from the prior BoRU christmasss with the crew: December 26, 2024 (nine days from the previous update) Very very waffley christmas post for everyone who has been asking how it was. I wanna say it was hell magical and perfect but yeahhhh that was never gonna happen with this many feral kids The 23rd and 24th were a lot bc of it being a year since our mum left the kids were clingy af and just all wound up and like anxious ig. The night of the 23rd we had 9yr old and 7yr old literally not going to sleep whatsoever they were a nightmare to the point that 17yr old offered to take the baby for the night and I had both girls in my bed and Matt slept on the floor of my room on 9yr olds mattress. I didnt sleep the entire night I hated the baby being in the other room and wanted to go get her but couldnt risk waking the girls up so I lay there thinking fml 24th they were all just a bit weird and/or grumpy. Normally they are all in pretty bad moods Christmas eve because they are prepping for disappointment so this year was that + all the feelings since its been a year since she left + being in a new place. And I had told them all they were getting presents in advance because I wanted them to be excited this year and not be too overwhelmed on the day. But they were still all just not themselves and not exactly in good moods Anyway the morning of xmas day finally came and it was magical seeing them so excited and happy when they saw/opened their presents. I legit cried. Love them kids they are so grateful for everything and it killssss me. They only got like 5-10 presents each but it looked like a lot of gifts everywhere since there are so many of them. Me matt and sis #2 got each other a couple presents too which was cool. The kids had a whole convo about how it looked like “a movie christmas in real life” 7yr old near died when she opened a box full of Bluey custard pouches and 9yr old opened 1 present and stopped for ages and I was like hey arent you gonna open the rest. she was stunned that the others were for her as well. All day 7 was like “I can’t believe santa knows where we live now” (she also thinks Matt has his number and sent the updated address so he gets the creds for that). She got a big hippo stuffie which never left her side all day. The older ones were more quietly happy but I could tell they were amazed. They all said really genuine thank yous to me and Matt. Which is a whole 180 from “why dont you go fuck yourself” lmao I stupidly said as a JOKE you guys are all being very nice today huh. Totally jinxed it bc shortly after things went kinda downhill. I went to have a shower, washed my hair, thought omg this day is gonna be so fun. Go get my baby back off my sister and she immediately pukes in my hair bc someone didnt burp her properly. Rest of the kids have turned chaotic as well There were happy tears, sad tears (overwhelmed + 9yr old broke one of her presents in the first hour so she was legit distraught), arguments. I was so exhausted by lunch time I legit took the baby and had a nap with her which I never do but it was a lot. Told Matt and my sister to deal with the rest of them bc I needed a break from the noise & the crying (as I walk off with a 3 month old). Matt took them all out which was ideal Had a day off from stressing about food and just told the kids they could eat whatever they wanted. We just literally did like pizza and nuggets and stuff I know they like and did like a buffet type thing so they could just eat whenever. Nothing really special bc it wasnt the day to be trying to introduce new foods I was already too tired and I didnt want to cook. Matt had some fancy smoked salmon and some other fish that he likes but no one else really ate it and I didnt try force them bc cbf Everyone was hyper af in the afternoon even after Matt took them all to the beach. They got back and were more energetic than before I stg. Almost lost my shit bc they made the baby jump like 5 times and I was so done bc I kept telling them to calm tf down and they wouldnt. Matt worked some kind of magic and they listened to him (pissed me off even more tbh after they ignore me). Youngest two did some craft things they got from santa and the others were pretty chill just watched some movies. Then we played a couple games and that was pretty good Lots of emotions by the evening idk what happened but we went to make dinner and suddenly I had kids disappearing off into different rooms to cry. The baby peed all over 13yr olds new blanket bc someone (Matt) didnt put her nappy on properly. Such a juggling act especially bc 7 who is usually the emotional one having meltdowns was legit bouncing happily around the whole house and I’m like hey buddy can you chill and not jump around so happily whilst ur sister literally hyperventilates?? Or do it somewhere else?! She had gone selectively deaf so u can guess how that went 12yr old and 9 yr old had early nights bc they were upset and the rest of us got to watch 7yr old perform a play she had made up during everyone elses meltdowns. She said it was christmas themed but it was actually about the titanic, except she thinks it got hit by a tsunami Watched another movie. Then 7 had a meltdown bc it got to 11pm and I had the audacity to say hey kid its bedtime and she was hell angry that I was making the day end. Wrestled her into her pjs and she eventually fell asleep after she talked me through the events of the whole day as if I hadnt been there lmao. Anyway she actually slept pretty good only woke up like twice and the baby slept for a solid 6 hours so yay My mum didnt message and my oldest sister only said merry Christmas and that she hoped I enjoy the day and emailed me a gift voucher sooo that was nice. Expected more drama from my phone so had it off most of the day and it was a pleasant surprise when I went back on it. But part of me always stupidly hopes my mum might say something nice like wish her kids a happy christmas or something. Dunno why I even think it could happen but it was a bit of a gut punch to get nothing at all from her. But what else is new. Every day I kinda hope she will message asking how the baby is so I can stop convincing myself that she would be dead if that woman didnt bring her to hospital. Like I just want mum to show a tiny bit of care or concern. But she never will so I need to get over it But in good news my sister had a very brief convo with one of my dads other kids and it sounds like my dad is in prison for GBH. Apparently they thought it was GBH on my mum but I’m pretty sure it wasnt sooo idk how true the whole thing is. But I hope he is in prison and that should mean my mum wont have any more kids bc for some reason she only wants to reproduce with my dad specifically Andd even though the whole Christmas thing was a LOT and I’m exhausted it was still mostly really nice and I have to remind myself that last year at christmas my mum had just ditched, we had zero money and no gifts and our nan went to spend the day at my aunts but we couldnt go because there are too many of us. So I spent the day trying to get the kids to stop looking out the window waiting for my mum to come back with presents whilst I sent her like a hundred texts. And I didnt have Matt or my sister to help me. When I think of that I’m really happy with how this yr has been and the fact we have moved is so surreal This might be my longest post ever I’m so sorry lol if you have read this far thanks and hope you had a good xmas   Editor’s Note: OOP has shared few new posts below ----NEW UPDATES---- Update: January 12, 2025 (17 days later) Not the most positive update, just the realistic chaos of our life rn lol. Summer holidays still here so the kids are here 24/7 being chaotic af and I honestly think the anxiety about starting a new school is getting worse by the day. They are literally demonic rn I cant get a break. I deal with one kid and immediately the next one starts, then the next and it actually does not end. Day and night it doesnt end. The baby has stopped sleeping as much so she is a bit more work too, am typing this in the middle of the night whilst holding her bc she wakes up every time I try put her down so I’ve given up My sister is working FIFO so she’s literally here for a week then gone for a week. When shes here things are sm easier. She takes the kids out away from me so I can breath. I dont go out loads (except for baby/kid appointments as those never end either) bc its too hot for the baby and just thinking about trying to get organised to leave the house makes me feel sick. I can usually do an evening or morning walk with the baby which mostly I bring 7, 9 and 12 with me and they play at the park near our house. Well 12yr old skateboards around, doubt he’d like me to accuse him of ‘playing’ lmao. But I dont really go further than that rn unless the kids are being nice and my sister is there. Otherwise her taking them out is my recovery time. Promise I do still love them but omfg I cant wait for school to start 😂 12yr old goes out and skateboards with some of the neighbourhood kids pretty often. Obviously dont need to really worry about supervising him I just tell him to be home before dark which its hit or miss if he’ll actually listen. Trying to pick my battles with him but Matt is hell set on doing 3 strikes and you’re out. Idk how on board I am because last thing I need is a grounded preteen boy in the house all day winding everyone else up. Otherwise he’s pretty ok, can be a little shit but compared to the girls he’s my angel The little girls mostly play at home unless one of the older girls will take them to the park. Matt got some big plastic bucket things from kmart and the girls fill them with water and play barbie swimming pool or a barbie boat got hit by a tsunami or whatever. That keeps them entertained for ages. The rest of the time they just terrorise me and eachother. Most days 9yr old is in trouble for doing something to 7yr old. Try to get them to play separately but apparently they’d rather be pulling eachothers hair out than playing alone. 7yr old has a bunch of night terrors and a few other things going on atm that make life more stressful but that’s not her fault 13yr old I literally cant even LOOK at her half the time without her freaking tf out. So moody. She will sometimes go out with 12yr old but that mostly ends in an argument. Ran out of patience with her yesterday and we wouldnt let her go out because of how she was treating him, and now I think of it it probably was too much for both me and Matt to be stood there telling her off. But she lost it and called us dictators and said she can go out if she wants. Then she stayed in as she was told 😂 She likes to argue about everything but she doesnt actually rebel that much when it comes to it. We have all 4 of the younger ones birthdays coming up soon and I asked what they want to do as a special treat. 13yr old wants to go out just me and her for food. I was like HUH?! So maybe she does like me, or maybe she just wants to yell at me in public instead lmao 17yr old mostly is my bestie rn and she is in love with the baby so she’s a huge help with her. But she’s a pain in the ass with the other kids. Claims she’s helping me by going around smacking them and being so overly strict and it just creates sm more drama for me. I keep telling her I dont need her help with disciplining and she’s like ‘yeah you do I’m almost an adult I can help you like Matt and (big sis) do’. And I’m like thanks but no thanks. Couple days ago 7yr old threw the tv remote at 17yr old and it hit the baby instead, so 17yr old smacked her and then brought me 2 scream crying kids to deal with. Took forever to get them both calmed down and I was so pissed off with her about it. She decided I was only mad bc I’m too protective of 7yr old, and that sent me into a rant and I was like you hit my kid again I’ll lose my fucking mind. Afterwards I was like ugh ffs because the truth is I know exactly what her thought process is (I used to be the exact same) and it takes everything in me not to smack the kids, like the amount of times I almost do is insane, especially rn with the constant over stimulation and bad behaviour. I know that 17yr old just doesnt have the restraint/motivation that I do. So as much as I dont excuse it I also dont blame her really because violence has always been the default for us and I do understand her POV. Because to her, I’m putting all this effort into discipline that takes ages and doesnt have immediate results so she would just think I’m an idiot, because she smacks her and immediately gets an apologetic kid. But she doesnt get that its not good long term. And when I tried explain to her she just said “well you and (list all other older siblings) are all fine and you had it way worse”. I obviously have told her we arent fine and the fact my brain tells me to hit children and I have to fight it is proof of that. She was like “maybe listen to your brain instead of your heart, you have guilt issues”. Like lol ok thanks a lot you little shit. I told her if she cant understand it then she can stay away from the kids until she does. Made her apologise to 7yr old which was legit like trying to get blood out of a stone she was SO MAD at me and ended up crying so we had the longest chat about some deep stuff and I think we are ok again now. Its weird she gets hell angry when I’m mum ish towards her but I’ve realised if I keep kind of pushing and dont give up then it usually gets to where she opens up Idk what I will actually do if she does it again so I’m praying she wont. If I can get them all through until school starts then I think life will become a lot easier for everyone. All of them are waitlisted for in person therapy (3/5 threw a fit about it, but I told them it’s non negotiable) and I’m anxious for that to start and hopefully get some progress as I feel like we have hit a wall with some stuff tbh But yeah thats a snapshot of the chaos rn. Aware I’m literally just venting on here now lol but its good to get my thoughts out and I always get so much good advice here. And dw I haven’t gone full insane yet and I dont hate my life, I’m just in struggle town. Keep telling myself its temporary and school will be my lifesaver (3.5 weeks to go 😅😅)   Birthday Ideas: January 16, 2025 (four days later) We have all 4 of the younger kids birthdays coming up between 25th Jan and 14th Feb and I just thought I’d see if anyone had any ideas for things to do. They’ve never really celebrated a birthday before so they will be happy with anything but I want it to be special (and also keep it affordable enough that we can do the same amount for them every year without having to stress heaps about our budget). Like I dont want to give them any crazy expectations So far the idea is a few presents, a cake and a 1-1 outing with me or Matt (or both of us if they want) to do something special. Next year when they have friends here we can do something with friends I’ve asked them what they would like to do, 13yr old wants to go out for food just me and her so thats cool The others arent too sure. The younger ones are still not over christmas. For presents we’re kind of thinking if we spend less on the younger ones then we can use more of the budget for the older two. Idk I feel guilty about it but I know they wont care/notice and it will mean a lot more to the teenagers to get stuff they really want. 7yr old doesnt even know what she wants and we have a neighbour here who has said I can have all her similar aged daughters stuff for free that they’re getting rid of to make space for new christmas stuff. All in really good condition and stuff she’d like. Like a dollhouse with a whole bag of characters. And Matt found a bike on facebook for really cheap and got it for 9yr old because we know she wants one, she hasnt asked but I can tell. He’s just getting a new bell for it and she’ll love it. If I get her a couple more little things then I think she’ll be so happy and we will have spent hardly anything. Then I can use the money for 13 and 12 yr old. 13yr old would love an iPhone, and I’ve been really really unsure about it but if we can get a second hand one then I will probably just get her one because I dont want her starting a new school as the odd one out 12yr old I think wants to go to a movie (first time ever) and for presents he was like “I already got loads for christmas” And didnt really give me any ideas but I think I know a few things I can get that he’d like No idea where to take 7 and 9yr old for an outing that they’d really like. 7yr old just wants to stay home and play jelly monsters in my bed and I’m like girllll we can do something new and fun 😂 But her bday is last so I hope she will be inspired by the others doing things lol. But yeah idk what to do so any ideas or any thing I can do to make their birthdays more special would be good I’m kind of overwhelmed bc of not doing birthdays at all before (like fully dont exist in our family, last time someone IRL said happy birthday to me it was my teacher when I was 15). My mum doesnt agree with people being celebrated for being born (except her and my dad) and if we mentioned birthdays she was like, if you want to celebrate someone you can celebrate me since I did all the hard work. Some of her most abusive times were on peoples birthdays even though the kid mostly didnt even know it was their birthday So the kids will love whatever we do but I really want them to feel so special. And if I’m being a psycho thinking we can spend way more on presents for the older two then tell me but idk I just think it makes sense   Thank you: January 17, 2025 (next day) I want to say a genuine thank you to everyone for all your kindness and advice on my posts. Sorry I don’t reply to you all but I promise I do always read everything and appreciate everyone taking the time to read the shit I post and comment/message me. I only post to my own profile now so that only people that follow me and actually care will see stuff and still whenever I post I’m like people probably dont care anymore but then you do It is crazy to me that anyone cares (if I sent a paragraph about one the kids to my parents they wouldnt read it). Posting really helps me organise my thoughts its like a journal or something and genuinely the amount of times I start writing some bullshit and it makes me realise I’m being a psycho or something lmao. The outsider pov is so good for me when I’m so wrapped up in it and I think its good for me and Matt bc if I didnt write all this stuff here I’d be saying it to him and he’d be so done with me so fast lol Cant say thank you enough times ❤️ and if you cba with me updating pls let me know and I’ll just keep all my thoughts in my drafts where I keep all the fucked up stuff lmao Relevant Comment OOP responds to multiple comments about her situation and how strong she is along with her older brother for taking care of their siblings OOP: Thank you sm. One of the craziest things is the amount of people who have messaged saying they have been or are in the same situation as us. My favourite is when people message me saying their big sister raised them and they are still close and things turned out good. Used to think it must be so rare but its really not and as much as I dont wish bad parents on anyone it is nice to not be alone in that. Hope ur stepkids are all doing good now   Worlds longest vent: February 8, 2025 (three weeks later) Idk what this post is tbh i guess a vent bc we had a rough couple days and I’m down a hole in my own brain rn. Apparently reddit is my coping mechanism. A diary that replies lol 14yr old got a phone for her birthday. She loves it and says it's the best present she's ever got. Matt put some restrictions on it and we take it off her in the evening bc I don't want her getting full addicted to it. First night I took it off her she started whining so bad and I was like hell nah I’m not going to fight you for it every night, if you do this again tomorrow we’ll rethink the phone thing. Matt and my older sister spoke to her about it heaps bc she didn't want to talk to me but the next night she came and gave me her phone before I even asked for it After that everything was fine with the phone situ. Thought we were all good. Talked about it and wrote down the rules so we had them in black and white. She was being pretty good and was full off my radar of issues UNTIL she started a fight with 17yr old and it carried on OVER TEXT and went way too far and she made 17yr old cry. She deleted her messages but literally stupidest fucking thing ever bc I could read the whole thing on 17yr olds phone and see what she said. I was so done I took her phone and told her I was gonna speak to Matt about if and when she could have it back. She tried saying everything she could think of to make me give it back but I wasnt budging. “So unfair” bc she only just got it on her bday but like idc if you got it 5 minutes ago, if you’re using it to say horrible shit you wouldn’t have the balls to say irl then its gone. Got the usual “you’re not my mum” speech from her and I was just like it doesn’t matter if I’m your mum or your sister or your 3rd cousin, I’m responsible for you so its tough. She was mad, we discussed it so much and got no where. I was hell over it and I had a lot of shit to do so I just let her be mad and stopped even trying to sort it out The next day I had a rare moment of peace from the baby and little kids and was about to go speak to Matt about the phone thing and 14yr old comes into my room with a belt in her hand and tells me to hit her with it so she can get her phone back. Shes like I dont like your punishments I just want you to hit me and leave me alone. Like GIRL wtf This isnt the first time this kind of thing has happened tbh multiple of the kids used to tell me to hit them but that was like a year ago when I started doing more normal parenting stuff and they hated it. They would be like hell confused by me telling them they couldn't do something and would be like why don't you just hit me if you're mad at me. Used to go round and round with them saying I'm not mad at you, they'd be like why are you not letting me go out then and I'm saying umm bc you did this or that, or its too late and I want you to go to bed soon or whatever the reason, and they full didn't get it. They could not understand me discipling them but not being mad But this was defo different and shocked me sm especially bc its been so long since any of them have said stuff like that and bc I am always talking about how I don't want them hitting each other and its a daily issue trying to get them to quit. Like idk in what world she'd think I'd be like ok yeah pass me the belt and forget everything I've said about how. violence doesn't solve problems anyway I took the belt off her and told her I was not going to hit her with anything and we went round in circles about it until she legit started crying from frustration that I was saying no. Yelling at me and having a tantrum and saying I don't ever do what she wants. I was getting pissed off and knew I was about to lose my shit so I walked off and left her in my room. I was trying to create some space for her and me to calm down but she followed me still yelling and then during us arguing we ended up back in my room. Matt started getting involved and that did not help bc he was struggling to not get mad at her for how she was speaking to me and he had his scary dad voice on which works with the other kids but turns 14yr old into a grey rock. Had to tell him to go bc as much as she was pissing me off I prefer her to be yelling than silent and I knew we needed to have it out bc its been a couple months of a lot of bad vibes with her.Told him to go just keep the other kids away bc didn't need them interrupting After idk how much longer but felt like ages I was trying not to but I kind of lost my shit and was yelling back at her and told her to stop acting so fucking crazy and that she wasnt getting her phone back at all if she didnt stop yelling/crying and I was all like obviously you can't handle having a phone if you're acting like this over it. Tbh I was being a bitch atp bc I know she wasn't being like this over just the phone, it was a whole stack of stuff. I could feel myself about to go on a power trip and I wanted to do the whole ‘when I was your age I had it way worse’ crap. But I literally remind myself multiple times a day not to do that so I fought it so hard. Realised how annoying I was being and it snapped me out of it and I had to check myself and realise this kid is legit stood there asking me to beat her with a belt and I’m trying to be mad at her. She’s honestly been so annoying recently I realised I go into situations with her already with like half my patience gone. So I sat on my bed whilst she's still yelling at me and I tried my best to just get away from my anger and think about how I could actually fix it without making things even worse How she was acting literally reminded me of dealing with 7yr old. So I was like maybe I need to try treat her like I treat 7yr old. Which is literally just holding her until she calms down even when she’s so mad at me. Its way more awkward with the older ones but I realised it was worth a try before I full ruined it with her and made her never come to me again So I pulled her into my lap and hugged her. Hell awkward at first but I was like this is literally all I have rn. She fought me for a minute and told me to get off her. Ignored her and she eventually stopped fighting and relaxed and cried and then started saying “I’m mad at you” but in a sad way not an angry way. I was like, I know you are but nothing you say will make me hit you. Sorry for yelling at you blahblahblah. Think she needed to just cry. She felt so small when I was hugging her and her crying was so sad and she smelt like my body spray which got me bc she has been acting like she hates me but she still uses my stuff bc she wants to smell like me which she used to do all the time. Then I started crying. She was still saying she wants her phone back and I felt so mean but wasn't gonna say yes. Just kept saying we would talk about it later but I need to talk to Matt first. I was happy that I felt mean tbh because recently idgaf when I have to discipline her so feeling mean was good bc it shows I like her again I guess lol I need to stop typing bc this is getting too long and I'm rambling but we ended things on a pretty good note. First time in ages that I've felt like I'm in a good place with her and we understood each other. Had to agree to disagree on some stuff but we also agreed on stuff we need to work on. I think I need to be more aggressively loving with her. I usually let the older ones come to me but I have realised I need to try initiate stuff more. I dont think 14yr old actually knows how to come and be like, I'm sad I need a hug. And it must be hard when I have the younger kids so attached to me. gonna make an effort to be more loving and remind myself shes also a kid and I have to be more patient. I expect her to act more mature bc of how I was at her age but I have to stop doing that. I didn't have a mum type person annoying me and I could do what I wanted so obviously wasn't gonna be having tantrums about having my phone taken away. My mum couldn't give a fuck if I was doing only fans at 14 let alone being like oh you can't have your phone at night bc you need your sleep. So yeah I didn't act like her but its a good thing she’s different and more normal Afterwards though i’ve been feeling kinda anxious about it bc out of all the shit the kids do on a daily basis they have never been literally begging me to hurt them like she was and it’s making me feel really fucked up and like I need to do more with her. Still waiting for therapy but I’ve already said to Matt that she needs to be our priority rn bc she has legit gone under the radar and I think way more goes on in her head that should be freaking us out. We always think its 17yr old and 7yr old who struggle most but I’m realising they have just expressed it more. And now I’m like omfg what if the others are actually worse inside their heads. So I’m spiralling. Fml Also just generally so anxious lately and I keep freaking out if I dont have the baby with me and shes crying. Like I cannot trust anyone with her when shes crying, my brain is full convinced they will hurt her to shut her up. When Matt had the kids whilst I took 10yr old (😭feels weird typing that) out for her bday, I was having the nicest time but my brain kept being like “He could be hurting the baby right now whilst I’m sat here laughing and eating frozen yoghurt”. Need to sort my shit out fr but yeah Life is still mostly good, probably hilarious to most ppl but I swear so many little things make me so happy. Like I love when I put the kids to bed and get to just do stuff like have a shower and do laundry and not have to worry about my parents or nan being around. Used to be like the house could turn into a screaming match and horrible shit could happen at any time of day with no warning. Things are chaotic now but bc of kid chaos, not toxic adult chaos and abuse. It's so nice and I feel kinda relaxed for the first time ever. Having clean clothes always and kids who feel safe enough to get out of bed to come ask me for something. Shit like that just makes me happy. So idk if it makes sense but I'm hell anxious and hell relaxed at the same time lol Said I'd shut up and then carried on for so long. Thanks if you have read this far, sorry for the massive vent and thanks for coming to my story time. Always wonder why I post these but this whole situ threw me so much I just need to get it out and see if anyone has advice. Have spoken to my therapist and might try get more sessions bc I dont need to be anxious mess and I want to be able to leave the baby without a mental breakdown. Also idk what to do about this phone thing it is already sm drama but I don’t feel like I can not let her have it back it feels kinda cruel idk help The kids started school and obviously thats up and down with so many of them all having very difference feelings about it but mostly so far so good except for 7yr old who is 100% not happy about it but its only been a few days (also thanks sm for the birthday ideas, used a bunch of them and I will post about them once we've had the last bday :) and i’m finishing writing this whilst up early af with the baby and sleep deprived soo yeah as always excuse my tired ramblings DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Every year I try to go to the movies as much as possible. It’s my main hobby. I keep track of my thoughts/scores throughout the year, along with all of my ticket stubs. In theaters, I saw: 5 movies in 2015, 9 movies in 2016, 146 movies in 2017, 162 movies in 2018, 192 movies in 2019, 44 movies in 2020, 86 movies in 2021, 270 movies in 2022, 325 movies in 2023, and 298 movies this year. This doesn’t include rewatches, but those are pretty rare for me (7 this year). This is my 7th year doing this ranking on /r/movies. I have a subscription with AMC’s A-List, Regal’s Unlimited, and Cinemark’s MovieClub. I’m also a member of the Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and Toronto film societies. I attended 8 film festivals this year, for a total of 117 films. I attended 24 World Premieres, 11 North American Premieres, 7 US Premieres, 10 East Coast Premieres, 22 Southeast Premieres, 4 Canadian Premieres, and a few Florida/Georgia Premieres. 96 of my screenings had cast and/or crew present for Q&As/intros. I do these rankings and reviews/random thoughts for fun. It’s not meant to be taken super seriously. I just like movies, and I like ranking them. Red Rooms - 10/10 - The most gripping psychological-thriller since The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Extremely disturbing and unsettling at times, but also stylish and sleek. The courtroom scenes and vampire-movie-like score stick with you for a long time. Juliette Gariépy puts in the best performance of anyone this year. There's so much amazing stuff happening with French-Canadian cinema recently and this is another great addition. Best movie of the year. One of the best movies of the past decade. Dune: Part Two - 9/10 - Sci-fi doesn't get much better than this. I have the seemingly-unpopular opinion that the first movie is better than the second, but both are near-perfect. Everything that can be said about Dune 1/2 has pretty much already been said. Anora - 9/10 Civil War - 9/10 Nosferatu - 9/10 - Gothic horror is so back. Lily-Rose Depp does things in this movie physically that I've never seen before on the big screen. Extremely impressed with her performance (and with Hoult/Dafoe/Skarsgard/Corrin as well). A great ensemble surrounded with perfect set design, direction, and cinematography. Loved the scenes in the castle that almost appeared black-and-white. Robert Eggers has not missed for me so far, and this is my favorite of his. Challengers - 9/10 Sing Sing - 9/10 - Colman Domingo, give that man his Oscar [John Malkovich Rounders voice]. The Substance - 9/10 You Are Not Alone - 9/10 - Part La La Land, part Under the Skin, part Eternal Sunshine. A beautiful and hypnotic sci fi love story with a slight horror edge and with layers upon layers of metaphor. It has a lot of interesting things to say about mid-20s loneliness/thoughts of suicide/love/etc. Didi - 9/10 - I'm a sucker for coming-of-age dramas set in recent times. Give me more of this and mid90s-type movies pls. The Order - 8/10 We Live In Time - 8/10 - I went in expecting heartbreak (which I got), but I didn’t expect how funny/sharp it would be. Florence and Andrew have 10/10 chemistry. Only thing keeping it from a higher score is the goofy Super Bowl of Food or whatever scene near the end. The scene at the beginning in the parking garage might be one of the most heart wrenching and well-acted scenes of the entire year. Top-tier score as well. Love Lies Bleeding - 8/10 - I would watch a 2-hour movie montage of Katy O'Brian working out beneath a highway underpass. A violent & twisted mess of sweat/blood/sex/tears/ungodly bodily noises. A real wicked fun time. The Goldman Case - 8/10 - French courtroom dramas, so hot right now. An insanely smart and water-tight screenplay with engrossing performances. It reminded me a lot of Anatomy of a Fall then I realized the co-star (Arthur Harari) in this film is the co-writer of Anatomy. The Beast - 8/10 - A movie that's almost impossible to describe but I'll try: Dystopian-future-sci-fi, period-drama, modern-incel-breakin-thriller, all while staying completely original and beautiful. Extremely layered story and performances. Lea Seydoux and George MacKay are 2 of my favorite actors and they pulled this off with extreme precision and care. One of more harrowing final scenes of the year for sure. Conclave - 8/10 Saturday Night - 8/10 - Frenetic, engaging, and a really fun time. Flies by. I wanted more. So much energy. September 5 - 8/10 The Brutalist - 8/10 - I have some problems with the ending, feels like it undid a lot of what was experienced, but otherwise an impressive monster of a movie. Brody and Pearce are outstanding. Io Capitano - 8/10 Fremont - 8/10 - I love movies that flow like light poems, like Petite Maman or Journey to A Mother's Room. It was a very sweet and cozy. The psychiatry sessions in particular were hilarious, and the bit where the diners are reading their fortunes in the restaurants were perfect. One of my favorite lines of the year is when the old lady fortune cookie writer dies at her desk, and the boss says “she was getting too old to write about the future anyway”. The lead and Jeremy Allen White were only onscreen together but their chemistry was infectious Seagrass - 8/10 LaRoy, Texas - 8/10 - A hilariously-dark Coen Brothers throwback with wonderful performances from Steve Zahn and John Magaro (who I was lucky enough to meet prior to the screening). It's bloody and smart, and that's a rare combination. A Quiet Place: Day One - 8/10 The Last Showgirl - 8/10 - Apart from a few awkward line-deliveries and questionable dialogue in spots, this was a very lowkey, engaging drama with a career-best performances from Pamela Anderson and Dave Bautista. Very dreamy and light. Friendship - 8/10 - It's so fucking stupid. Absolutely no plot to speak of. There's no character development. It's barely even a movie. It's basically a 90-minute sketch. All that being said, it's so goddamn hilarious. Non-stop laughs. Most I've laughed since Red Rocket probably. It's a can't-miss for any Tim Robinson fan and a can't-miss for any fans of laughing. Kate Mara was the perfect foil character. The Wild Robot - 8/10 - Yes, I cried, what of it? Relay - 8/10 - A very solid, tight, throwback to the type of paranoid corporate-thrillers they don’t really make anymore. A super fun twist that I didn’t see coming at all, and a standout turn from Lily James. It slightly loses its way near the end. Good One - 8/10 - Familiar and lowkey, but with a dark edge that slowly reveals itself, and a superb breakout role from Lily Collias. Great debut film from director India Donaldson. A Complete Unknown - 8/10 - There's definitely a lack of plot but at the end of the day we all just want to see Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits performed by a generational talent in Timothee Chalamet and it definitely delivers in that aspect. Midwives - 8/10 - One of the more stressful movies I’ve seen in a while. My anxiety was through the roof, especially in the first half. It’s so realistic and graphic at times (and some of it has to be real, some birth scenes especially) that you almost get a sense that it’s a documentary. Totally nails the landing too, making you feel real anger/empathy about how Midwives are treated in France (and other places I assume). Hellbent On Boogie - 8/10 Alien: Romulus - 8/10 - Put Cailee Spaeny in anything and I'll watch it. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - 8/10 The Old Oak - 8/10 - British realism cinema at it's finest. Just another classic added to Ken Loach's resume. Longlegs - 8/10 Babygirl - 8/10 One Life - 8/10 - I'm not a huge movie-cryer but I was absolutely balling my eyes out near the "moment". You know it's coming and it's still hit. Impressive when a movie can do that. Last movie that hit me like that was probably Tori and Lokita, and before that Moonlight. This was up there in terms of tears. Did not really expect it going in. Devasting. Anthony Hopkins kills these types of roles, he has a way of showing bottled up regret/sadness that not many others can. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare - 8/10 - Over-the-top violent fun time. Totally ridiculous but it doesn't take itself seriously and that's what keeps it from veering into. Also, Eiza Gonzalez. That is all. Strange Darling - 8/10 Los Frikis - 8/10 Suncoast - 8/10 Drive-Away Dolls - 8/10 - I want more unapologetically horny movies like this. Loved all of Beanie Feldstein's bits and the slow, sleep-deprived descent into madness of the henchmen especially. Not too sure abou the weird-cheap transitions and trippy scenes though. "You're a day late and a penis short" and "Suki that's your wall dildo!" are two of the funniest lines of the year, within context. Give me more fast-paced 75-minute movies. In A Violent Nature - 8/10 -This made me feel physically nauseous several times, would strongly recommend. Some of the gnarliest kills I've ever seen on the big screen. A Real Pain - 8/10 Abigail- 8/10 - As a French-Canadian, big shoutout to Kevin Durand for his on-point Quebecois accent. Also, "Sammy, those are fucking onions" was one of the best/funniest line deliveries of the year. Really entertaining gory vampire flick. Dan Stevens is straight up having a fun time this year and I'm enjoying it every time. Melissa Barrera is now competing with with Mia Goth and Samara Weaving as top Scream Queens. Deadpool & Wolverine - 8/10 Bring Them Down - 8/10 - I love me a slow-burn family feud drama that slowly snowballs into something dark and sinister. Christopher Abbott is one of my favorite working actors today and he does incredible work here, especially with the accent/Irish/body language. Disclaimer: Not recommended to people sensitive to animal violence/cruelty. There's a lot of that. The Piano Lesson - 8/10 - As far as Denzel Washington-produced, August Wilson adaptations are concerned, this is way above Fences. Felt less like a straight-up filmed play. The supernatural element and amazing Danielle Deadwyler performance (give her an Oscar soon pls) make this more layered and interesting. Bonus: I was sitting with/near the cast/crew for this one, 5-10 feet away from Denzel/Danielle/John David/Malcolm/Corey Hawkins/Ray Fisher/Michael Potts. Amazing experience. Nickel Boys - 8/10 Fresh Kills - 8/10 - A really solid mob-drama told from the perspective of a mob boss' daughter, which I appreciated. It's rare you see this story from that angle. Emily Bader's scene with her dad near the end. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Between The Temples - 8/10 - Carol Kane was absolutely magnetic and a joy to watch in this, and Jason Schwartzman was her perfect endearing counter. Lovely movie, that makes you want to curl up into a ball and cringe to death near to end, in a good way. The most painful-to-watch family reunion/dinner since Shiva Baby. Problemista - 8/10 - I stand with Bank of America. Julio Torres is kind of a revelation in this. His facial expressions (and hilarious run-walk thing) are perfect. Absurd, funny, and sweet comedy with so much flair and uniqueness. Some fun little details that got good laughs out of me, like Tilda's character always having her phone light on. Chaotic in all of the right ways. Sisterhood - 8/10 Days of Happiness - 8/10 The Apprentice - 8/10 - It's not breaking any new ground but Sebastian Stan is a pleasure to watch transform into Trump as the movie goes on. Grimy and gross like the streets of New York in the 80s. Wil - 8/10 Naked Ambition: Bunny Yeager - 8/10 Soul - 8/10 - I didn't get to catch this during it's original run due to COVID so I'm glad it came back. My favorite Pixar movie in a little while. Femme - 8/10 I Saw the TV Glow - 8/10 Heretic - 7/10 - A fun horror with sharp dialogue and an incredibly-hammy Hugh Grant performance. Emilia Perez - 7/10 - Some amazing musical numbers, especially the opener and "El Mal", and Zoe Saldana has an amazing performance where she carries the entire thing (Gomez and Gascon are getting lots of praise but I didn’t see it), but it just felt like it never fully came together to reach full potential. Mountains - 7/10 - A very small and warm movie about the very big and cold issue of gentrification and the real estate crisis in South Florida. Monica Sorelle is a director to watch for sure. Skywalkers: A Love Story - 7/10 - Other than a few moments that seemed a bit scripted (mostly the relationship drama), this is the most thriller documentary since Free Solo. Ghostlight - 7/10 Shoshana - 7/10 - Israeli true-life spy-thriller, a bit Bond-like. There's a few kills in here that are insanely brutal and the explosions/gunshots catch you by surprise. It had me jump a few times. The Dead Don't Hurt - 7/10- Extremely slow, don't go in expecting an action-packed Western, but Viggo has a really good eye for beautiful backgrounds and settings. Vicky Krieps is top-tier as always. This movie doesn't work without her. I like slow Westerns. The Fall Guy - 7/10 Thelma - 7/10 Twisters - 7/10 -Natural disaster flicks just work for me. Getting to look at Daisy Edgar-Jones for 2 hours never hurts as well. Cuckoo - 7/10 - Insanely impressive and physical performance from Hunter Schafer. Cool visual style and flair, but ultimately dragged down by a total clusterfuck of a plot. I was confused throughout. Hilarious German accent from Dan Stevens Peak Season - 7/10 Kneecap - 7/10 - Some of the funniest one-liners of the year ("Look who it is, Bone Thugz and no harmony", "I feel like I discovered the Beatles, if the Beatles were shit."). The whole RRAD storyline kept it from greatness though, that was a bit too goofy for its own good. Wolfs - 7/10 - I went in wanting Pitt/Clooney banter and that's exactly what I got. Blink Twice - 7/10 My Old Ass - 7/10 Better Man - 7/10 Nightbitch - 7/10 - Your mom's favorite movie of 2024. The awful first trailer didn't do it justice, this was solid, it just doesn't get dark like you'd hope it would. Out of Darkness - 7/10 - Saw this during a Mystery Movie Monday and was pleasantly surprised. Pretty brutal, atmospheric, and violent. Some cool overhead shots and a nice score. One of the better Mystery Movies I've seen. We Grown Now - 7/10 The End We Start From - 7/10 Kinds of Kindness - 7/10 - Not the best Yorgos but deliciously-freaky and daring filmmaking nonetheless. Babes - 7/10 Fancy Dance - 7/10 MaXXXine - 7/10 - Definitely the weakest of the trilogy but still a solid slasher with a very interesting setting. Mia Goth has great moments like in the first two. Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1 - 7/10 - I don't care, the montage at the end was sick. I really hope Costner gets to fund as many of these as he wants. Wicked - 7/10 - Pretty good, not great. Ariana Grande was the standout. There were only 2 songs that were really catchy though, wish there were more. Juror #2 - 7/10 Fly Me to the Moon - 7/10 The End - 7/10 - Gorgeously-shot, super well acted, beautiful set design and production, but way too long and had no reason to be a musical. The songs were all exactly the same and pointless and there much so much time in between that you would forget it was even a musical. George MacKay kills it. Being Maria - 7/10 Cabrini - 7/10 - Maybe a bit overlong but honestly not bad. Surprised it's from the same director as Sound of Freedom, it's quite a step up from that. Much larger and ambitious in scope, and the lead actress was really really great. It solidly panders to its intended audience but it’s well made enough that you can just gloss over the eye-rolling moments. In the Land of Saints and Sinners - 7/10 - The best Neeson action-flick in a while, so that's something. Kerry Condon as the big villain was awesome. Need more of her in stuff. Y2K - 7/10 - The single-funniest death scene of the year was the skateboard scene. Laughed so hard, made my night. Audience really dug this one too, good atmosphere. Fred Durst. The Queen of My Dreams - 7/10 - I was getting massive Deja Vu with The Persian Version last year. Extremely similar story and vibe, equally fun/honest/heartfelt. Speak No Evil - 7/10 Immaculate - 7/10 - Sydney Sweeney stepping out of her comfort zone and doing a nun-horror is cool. Long take near the end was sick. Gladiator II - 7/10 - Doesn't hold a candle to the original but it was still an entertaining sandals & swords story. Fred Hechinger is so awful in this though. Man, that took me out of it. Back to Black - 7/10 - This movie is conflicting. In a vacuum, ignoring Winehouse's actual story, it's a solid music-biopic carried by a powerhouse breakthrough performance from Marisa Abela and an amazing soundtrack (obviously). On the other hand, it's a disgusting whitewash by her estate to downplay her truly awful father. The fact that he had final approval over this movie, and will financially benefit from it, is just gross and hard to ignore. The 2015 documentary does a better job telling Amy's whole story in an emotional way, and that doc made my blood boil (and is one of my favorite docs ever). Coup! - 7/10 The Hypnosis - 7/10 The Last Stop in Yuma County - 7/10 Your Monster - 7/10 Blitz - 7/10 - The cartoonish villains and improbably scenarios the kid kept finding himself in took this down a notch for me. Could've been great, but it didn't quite get there. How much bad shit can happen to one kid in 24 hours? Find out with Blitz. On a technical level it had a lot going for it though. In the Summers - 7/10 Maria - 7/10 - Jolie kills it and it looked gorgeous but a really big step down from Jackie/Spencer for Pablo Larrain, a big 'style over substance' movie and weirdly disrespectful to Jackie Kennedy as well for some odd reason. Very weird structure. Lost Soulz - 7/10 The Girls Are Alright - 7/10 All We Imagine As Light - 7/10 - With all the hype I was expecting to be blown away. It was good but kind of a let down. Girls Will Be Girls - 7/10 Ezra - 7/10 Young Woman and the Sea - 7/10 - An inspiring sports-biopic with a very old-school and authentic feel. The Remember the Titans of swimming movies. It hits all of the cliches and it's super cheesy, but in all of the right ways. It just works. Daisy Ridley was great, and as far as swimming movies are concerned, it's definitely ahead of Nyad. Hundreds of Beavers - 7/10 - It's funny and original, I just wish it was a bit shorter. Some of the bits definitely outstay their welcome after a while. I really like the grassroots campaign they've built around this movie though, everything from the independent theatrical showings to the support of physical media. A great success story for indie film this year. The Idea of You - 7/10 Crossing - 7/10 Sleep - 7/10 Monkey Man - 7/10 - Solid action flick for the first and third acts, but dragged down by a super boring 2nd act (where it loses all of the momentum it built) and lots of sloppy/confusing editing, especially during chase sequences. Credit for the Terrence Malick-like flashback scenes with narration/sweeping music/shots of nature/etc, pretty cool to throw those into an action movie. The Color Purple - 7/10 The Damned - 7/10 - You're hanging out with the soldiers on the frontier of the American Civil War and almost nothing happens for the entire runtime except you learn about the characters and their thoughts on life/god/religion/etc. I enjoyed it. Mean Girls - 7/10 Driving Madelaine - 7/10 Late Night with the Devil - 7/10 Snack Shack - 7/10 - Aside from the needless death at the end that tries too hard to squeeze tears out of your eyeballs, I thought this was a fun, raunchy, summer-y throwback comedy. This would've been one of my favorites in middle school probably. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice - 7/10 Joker: Folie a Deux - 7/10 The Outrun - 7/10 - Less a compelling story and more a showcase on Saoirse Ronan's acting abilities. The camera basically doesn't move from her for a single second and she completely carries it. She's the best. Flow - 7/10 Black Box Diaries - 7/10 Queer - 7/10 The Return - 7/10 New Life - 7/10 - I really respect a movie that can pull off a wild genre-switch halfway through the movie. Went in fully blind so it was totally unexpected. Also impressive this tiny movie could license Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone (played a few times). Lisa Frankenstein - 7/10 - The ultimate "could've been truly great with a R rating" movie. Bob Marley: One Love - 7/10 - It does just enough to keep it out of the Super Generic Biopic Genre and any movie that can squeeze a few tears out of me gets an extra point. Sorry, that's just the rules. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes - 7/10 1992- 7/10 - Other than Ray Liotta being written like a ridiculous cartoon villain and some eye-rolling dialogue issues, it actually was a pretty solid crime drama... and Tyrese Gibson was…good? (/r/brandnewsentence) French Girl - 7/10 The Peasants - 7/10 - Visually impressive and a sick score, but a schmaltzy/melodramatic story kinda kept it from the next level. The Monk and the Gun - 7/10 Bad Boys: Ride or Die - 6/10 Seven Blessings - 6/10 Knox Goes Away - 6/10 - Michael Keaton does his best and commits but the writing & performance of every single side character brings the whole thing down a bit. The cop/ex-wife/son characters are bumbling, distractingly-dumb goofballs that keep the plot from ever grounding to reality, but it ultimately gets dark and violent enough to stay pretty entertaining. The script really could've used some more cleaning up. Trap - 6/10 - Listen I have a lot (a lot) of problems with this movie but Kid Cudi randomly showing up for 5 minutes and randomly delivering insane lines like "“I specifically said i wanted honey suckle kombucha biiiiitchhhh” made the trip to the theater worth it. Small Things Like These - 6/10 Sometimes I Think About Dying - 6/10 Kidnapped - 6/10 Asphalt City - 6/10 - Standout performance from Tye Sheridan but this leaned a bit too much into misery porn for my liking. Every single day is the absolute worst day on the job. Extremely stress-inducing first hour. Mike Tyson being cast as the medic chief was certainly a choice...and it worked somehow? Eden - 6/10 - Had trouble getting past the awful accents and the sinking feeling that this was missed potential. I was at the World Premiere for this and someone in the audience had a medical emergency, they had to pause the screening and turn the lights on while the person was carried out on people's shoulders. Jude Law/Sydney Sweeney/Ana de Armas/Ron Howard were all there wondering what was going on. Kind of a crazy situation. Land of Bad - 6/10 Unstoppable - 6/10 Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - 6/10 - Skull Island's bland and less impressive/memorable little brother. Thumbs up for Baby Kong and the Rio de Janeiro destruction sequence, thumbs down for the lame story and unlimited amounts of annoying human characters. Bad Shabbos - 6/10 Inside Out 2 - 6/10 Firebrand - 6/10 A Different Man - 6/10 - I didn't connect to this as much as most people did. Sebastian Stan is great as usual but the whole thing didn't do much for me. Love Me - 6/10 - 10/10 for the attempt, 4/10 for the execution. There's a really good movie hidden in here somewhere, but there needed to be some cuts made to the animated portions of the film for sure. Shell - 6/10 Housekeeping for Beginners - 6/10 Totem - 6/10 The Fire Inside - 6/10 Widow Clicquot - 6/10 - This starts off really really really slow but then finds its footing late and ends on a solid note. Career-best performance from Haley Bennett, she really carries this. Tuesday - 6/10 Piece by Piece - 6/10 The Cut - 6/10 - Standout turns from Orlando Bloom and Caitriona Balfe, brought down by some weird editing choices. The neon-green hallucinations were a wild choice. I sat next to Katy Perry for this movie, AMA. Memoir of a Snail - 6/10 The Romano Twins - 6/10 Mufasa: The Lion King - 6/10 Film Geek - 6/10 Self-Reliance - 6/10 - Pretty cute movie with a few laughs, but the ending lost its focus and felt rushed. The Andy Samberg bits were great. I wanted more from the relationship with Anna Kendrick's character, feels like there was more to explore there. "This an intervention." "For me?" "No, we're just all facing the wrong direction." Queen of the Ring - 6/10 Coup de Chance - 6/10 - It's nowhere near peak-Woody Allen but it's a passable return to form since Rifkin's Festival, Wonder Wheel, and A Rainy Day In New York (all 3 awful, with Rifkin's Festival being rock bottom for Allen's filmography). The one thing it was missing was humor. I can always trust an Allen film to at least have a few funny/witty lines (even the bad ones), but this was very cut and dry. Could've used a few more good lines. Sasquatch Sunset - 6/10 - I was excited for the premise and there's a few sweet/funny moments, but most of it ends up being mindless shitting/pissing/fucking. Credit for the unique idea and great views. Bird - 6/10 - One of the more disappointing films of the year. Even after the lukewarm reception at Cannes, I had super high hopes because I’m a huge Andrea Arnold fan, but the surrealism in this movie just didn’t work. It threw off the whole balance and wasn’t at all what I expected/wanted. Nikiya Adams and Barry Keoghan were both very solid, and the scene where the group sang Coldplay’s Yellow to the frog was amazing. Omni Loop- 6/10 Here - 6/10 - A valiant attempt but ultimately kind of a hot mess. A few good moments keep it watchable. Some real uncanny valley shit in there too though. Queen Rock Montreal - 6/10 Turning Red - 6/10 Scrambled - 6/10 The Book of Clarence - 6/10 - LaKeith Stanfield was great and committed as usual (although I don't like twin dual-roles), and James McAvoy and Cumberbatch chewing on scenery was fun, this movie had a lot of trouble figuring out what it wanted to be. I really wish it leaned more into the funny/satire and less into the serious Mel Gibson/Jim Caviezel-type biblical drama. Cool that a movie like this can be made/funded and released in theaters though. Booger - 6/10 Irena's Vow - 6/10 - Great story, extremely generic period drama. A Great Divide - 6/10 Riff Raff - 6/10 - A bit outdated and mean-spirited, this would've slapped in 2006, but Bill Murray and Pete Davidson as the incompetent mob assassins makes it worth a watch. Rosalie - 6/10 Skincare - 6/10 Yellow Bus - 6/10 Arcadian - 6/10 - It's fine and stretches its tiny budget so its absolute limit but it's basically a Dollar Store A Quiet Place. The monster design and animation was hilariously-bad though, like an Asylum knock-off movie. I'm also now convinced that Nic Cage is contractually obligated to have his face smothered in fake blood for any movie. Nutcrackers - 6/10 The Invisibles - 6/10 Riley -6/10 Rob Peace - 6/10 - A well-shot movie with great direction and performance from the supporting characters (Mary J Blige and Chiwetel Ejiofor) completely dragged down by an awful lead performance by Jay Will. Also the script was a bit silly, they were trying way too hard to make him 100% infallible. Christmas Eve in Miller's Point - 6/10 - I liked the hectic atmosphere of the crazy Christmas family party that we've all been at, and the very scratchy look of the camera. Rumours - 6/10 - I can appreciate what Maddin was going for, and there's some moments that work (mostly with Cate Blanchett and Charles Dance, they were awesome), but overall surreal-absurd-fantasy-comedy like this just doesn't work for me. Fallen Fruit - 6/10 Birthrite - 6/10 Crumb Catcher - 6/10 Anselm - 6/10 Scapegoat - 6/10 Seeds - 5/10 - There’s clearly heart and maybe a great movie in here somewhere, but it’s such a tonal mess that it’s hard to find anything to love. Sujo - 5/10 The Beekeeper - 5/10 - This is the Rebel Moon of Jason Bourne movies. A few cool kills and classic Statham one-liners keep it from being a total loss, but it's not very good. Unsung Hero - 5/10 Jeanne du Barry- 5/10 Treasure - 5/10 A Sacrifice - 5/10 The American Society of Magical Negroes - 5/10 - All over the place and it gave a constant feeling of "missed opportunity" (a la Book of Clarence). Justice Smith is straight-up not a convincing lead. An-Li Bogan was the standout, and I saw her end twist coming from a mile away so I got that going for me which is nice. La Syndicaliste - 5/10 Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - 5/10 The Watchers - 5/10 Borderlands - 5/10 - Went in expecting a 1/10, got a 5/10. Nice. Life is all about the little wins. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire - 5/10 - Just give this franchise a permanent rest. It wasn't awful in any particular way, but it was totally soulless and heartless. It felt like nobody really gave a shit except Kumail Nanjiani. Safe, sanitized, studio slop. They couldn't even fully commit to the one interesting thing (the gay ghost love story). National Anthem - 5/10 The 4:30 Movie - 5/10 - Kevin Smith jerking himself off for 80 minutes. Would make a fun double-feature with Snack Shack though. Universal Language - 5/10 - This had a lot of hype of out Cannes and it's Canada's submission for the Oscars so I had a lot of hope, but it just didn't do much for me. Surreal-absurdism just isn't my cup of tea. The only real standout scene was the one with the Quebec democrat. A rare case of the Q&A being more interesting than the movie itself. Kraven the Hunter - 5/10 Time Still Turns the Pages - 5/10 Upgraded - 5/10 - Basically a Great Value The Devil Wears Prada. Good as rom-com-background-nois. Marissa Tomei is awful in this. One of the worst performances of the year. Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot - 5/10 Out of Season - 5/10 Miller's Girl - 5/10 Latin for All - 5/10 Argylle - 5/10 - How a movie like The Creator can be made for $80M but something so awful-looking like this needs $200M blows my mind. I.S.S. - 5/10 - I love a good sandwich-making climax as much as the next guy, but what a painfully awkward ending. The first 25 minutes made me think something decent could be happening then it derails hard and never recovers. The worst thing to happen to the space program since Challenger. Get Away - 5/10 Brothers - 5/10 Life's a Bitch - 5/10 - France's (bad) answer to Yorgos Lanthimos. A dry, twisted, gross, weirdly-sexual, anthology film with a lot less nudity but a lot more dogs than Kinds of Kindness. Kinda loses its way comedically and becomes a chore after the first chapter. Azrael - 5/10 Monster Summer - 5/10 - Like a G-rated IT, with Mel Gibson for some reason (?) Kung Fu Panda 4 - 5/10 Garfield - 5/10 Villains, Inc - 5/10 - It had a certain cheap charm but an overwhelming sense of "SNL Digital Short sketch stretched way too thin". Excursion - 5/10 Sleeping Dogs - 5/10 Notice to Quit - 5/10 - The kid actor was really good but I'm just a bit over following an extremely unlikeable lead around doing shitty things to people. Reunion - 5/10 The Boy in the Woods - 5/10 Paradise - 5/10 Karaoke - 5/10 It Ends With Us - 5/10 Poolman - 4/10 - The ugly, boring, confused lovechild of Inherent Vice and Under the Silver Lake. Avenue of the Giants - 4/10 Arthur the King - 4/10 - Marky Mark has really devolved as an actor honestly, really tough performance from him here. It's like he's completely forgotten how to convincingly deliver lines. Right from the GoPro scenes at the beginning I knew it was gonna be a rough time. This movie is like 85% exposition. Janet Planet - 4/10 - Bookended by 2 great scenes, but filled with mostly pointless garbage. Dandelion - 4/10 By the Stream - 4/10 - I enjoy Hong Sangsoo movies in very small doses. This dose was just way too big. Venom: The Last Dance - 4/10 Red One - 4/10 Oh, Canada - 4/10 - Dreadfully confusing, and Jacob Elordi puts in one of the worst performances of the year, but at least that Phosphorescent soundtrack kept me engaged. Slingshot - 4/10 Adios Buenos Aires - 4/10 Humane - 4/10 Some Other Woman - 4/10 My Daughter, My Love - 4/10 Madame Web - 4/10 - Slop. IF - 4/10 - Not really for adults, not really for kids/teens. Who was this movie even for?... Freud's Last Session - 4/10 Werewolves - 4/10 - So much lens flare. I am now blind. Ramona at Midlife - 4/10 The Last Front - 4/10 My Penguin Friend - 4/10 Augure - 4/10 Which Brings Me To You - 4/10 - Looking back over this ranking, I'm gonna be honest and say I have no idea what this was. Don't remember. To producers out there: please stop making your movie titles random vague sentences. Mai - 4/10 Meanwhile on Earth - 4/10 Lizzie Lazarus - 4/10 Or Something - 4/10 The Way We Speak - 4/10 Cult Killer - 3/10 - Antonio Banderas shows up for like 5 minutes and then nopes the fuck out. Total paycheck movie. The Feeling that the Time for Doing Something Has Passed - 3/10 - There were some funny lines (especially the 9/11 dating profile bit) but this was so painfully dry and slow that I could never really connect. If desert-dry, awkward, deadpan delivery, with an absurd amount of BDSM-sex-stuff thrown in is your thing, you might find a few things to like. I could not. Never Let Go - 3/10 The Throwback - 3/10 The City - 3/10 Rats! - 3/10 - This would've worked well as an edgy Youtube short in 2012. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - 3/10 He Went That Way - 3/10 - Half roadtrip comedy with a chimp, half brutal serial killer drama. Tonally all over the place. The kind of movie you'd expect Jacob Elordi to try to bury (a la Dicaprio with Don's Plum) and fire his agent over before it sees the light of way. Baffling decisions made by everyone here. Megalopolis - 2/10 - I went in expecting a mess but I was still not prepared for how bad this was. It’s Neil Breen with an unlimited budget. It felt like 6 hours. It looked so cheap and awful. A mix of Lifetime movie and a middle school play. I refuse to believe it’s bad on purpose for comedy. The only thing keeping this from a 1 is that Adam Driver/Coppola/Nathalie Emmanuel/Giancarlo Esposito were at my screening for Q&A (god bless their sweet little souls for having to seriously promote this hot mess). "What do you think of this boner I got right here?” is a line 85 year old Jon Voight actually says in a real movie in the year of our lord 2024. My therapist will hear about this. A Boy Who Dreamt of Electricity - 2/10 Isle of Hope - 2/10 - Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. Chosen Family - 1/10 - This was borderline unfinished and full-on embarrassing. The production value of a daytime soap opera mixed in with the sound editing of a local high school play. It's impressive how much filler (drone shots of surrounding neighborhood) can be squeezed into 84 minutes of movie. Sitting a few seats away from Heather Graham was a nice bonus (with Q&A), but it couldn't come close to making up for this disaster. Unranked (Re-Releases and/or TV Series): Dune (Re-Release) - 10/10 Interstellar (Re-Release) - 10/10 Ex Machina (Re-Release) - 9/10 The Shawshank Redemption (Re-Release) - 8/10 Bound (Re-Release) - 8/10 Mr. & Mrs. Smith Episodes 1 & 2 (TV Series) - 7/10 Possession (Re-Release) - 7/10 But I'm A Cheerleader (Re-Release) - 7/10 The Acolyte Episodes 1 & 2 (TV Series) - 6/10 Society (Re-Release) - 6/10 Black Christmas (Re-Release) - 6/10 Apples Never Fall Episode 1 (TV Series) - 6/10 Maniac Cop 2 (Re-Release- 6/10 The Room (Re-Release) - 5/10 Cruel Intentions Episode 1 (TV Series) - 5/10 La Maquina Episode 1 (TV Series) - 4/10 After Annecy (Short Film) - 3/10 Maniac (Re-Release) - 3/10 Mother (Re-Release) - 3/10 Stats: Multiple Viewings: Dune: Part Two (x2) Babes (x2) Deadpool & Wolverine (x2) Sing Sing (x2) Back to Black (x2) The Wild Robot (x2) Anora (x2) Theater Distribution by Venue/Chain: AMC - 96 Regal - 66 Silverspot - 18 Cinemark - 8 Landmark - 1 Other/Festival/Independent - 109 (Including: Arsht Center, Autonation IMAX, Cinema Paradiso, Classic Gateway, Coastal Creative, Coral Gables Art Cinema, Enzian Theater, Hard Rock Ballroom, Koubek Center, TIFF Lightbox, Lucas Theater, Miami Theater Center, Movies of Delray, O'Cinema South Beach, Princess of Wales, Roy Thomson Hall, Royal Alexandra, Savor Cinema, SCAD Museum, Scotiabank, Tampa Theater, Trustees Theater) Film Festivals Attended: Toronto International Film Festival - 30 Movies in 8 Days Savannah SCAD Film Festival - 20 Movies in 8 Days Miami Film Festival - 20 Movies and 1 TV Series in 10 Days Florida Film Festival - 19 Movies in 6 Days Miami Jewish Film Festival - 10 Movies in 7 Days Popcorn Frights Film Festival - 7 Movies in 4 Days Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival - 6 Movies in 4 Days Gasparilla International Film Fstival - 5 Movies in 2 Days Theater Visits by Month: https://i.imgur.com/sKQYFp9.png January: 32 February: 17 March: 27 April: 54 May: 18 June: 18 July: 12 August: 24 September: 38 October: 23 November: 22 December: 13 Theater Visits by Day of the Week: https://i.imgur.com/xC7pt1S.png Monday - 25 Tuesday - 23 Wednesday - 23 Thursday - 49 Friday - 64 Saturday - 67 Sunday - 47 Notable Missed Movies: https://i.imgur.com/iPhOD5s.png Cast/Crew/Filmmaker Q&As/Appearances: Part 1 - https://i.imgur.com/a6JsfR0.png Part 2 - https://i.imgur.com/YQIJZUl.png Part 3 - https://i.imgur.com/9cyEkKY.png Favorite Performances: https://i.imgur.com/Sfv5OZB.png Past Rankings: 2018 (162 Movies) 2019 (192 Movies) 2020 (44 Movies) 2021 (86 Movies) 2022 (270 Movies) 2023 (325 Movies) submitted by /u/BunyipPouch to r/movies [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is Wooden-Exchange8081. They posted in r/tarantulas Thank you to u/Worth_Weather8031 for this rec! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. This is a long post. Mood Spoiler: happy ending! Original Post: February 29, 2024 We very randomly just came across this tarantula near our house. There was a tarantula wasp circling it on the ground, and I remember reading about this, so we reckon it was in the process of dragging the tarantula paralysed back to a den, to lay its egg inside it. I’m terrified of spiders, but have become quite attached to the tarantulas we find around our garden and house… We killed the wasp, and brought the tarantula inside in a box. I’m unsure how long it will remain paralysed, and what/ if anything we can do to help it? Also, what kind is this? We had one in our house the other day. They look different from the Peruvian blues we’ve previously found. Thank you for ANY advice. Oh we are in the Andes of Peru. 3000meter altitude. Image: a fluffy tarantula Some of OOP's Comments: Someone offers their assistance in a discord server: OOP: Yes PLEASE! It’s moving it’s front legs very very slightly. I’m hoping it will get better soon. I found an article on Google with a guy taking care of one for 40 days. I don’t know shit about spiders and I’m so scared of them 😂 Water: OOP: We will give it a few drops water each day, and I’m hoping it won’t be too long before it starts moving, but who knows! We’re in it now that’s for sure 😅 Mini Update in Comments: March 1, 2024 (Next Day) Thanks for all the comments on this post. We live in an area where there are a lot of hawk wasps. At times we can’t be on the terrace because of it. We had another blue tarantula take cover from 2 wasps a few weeks ago in the corner of our terrace. We honestly didn’t think about everything in the situation. We kind of just reacted. I am a mama to a VERY animal loving 9 year old, that will jump into a swimming pool to save a bee, and has done so many times. He asked if we could not save the tarantula without killing the wasp, but I didn’t know how. I was scared to piss off the wasp, and with a baby on my arm, and as someone that’s been bitten by a Bullet Ant before, I was not so willing to take a chance with an insect that has a Schmidt’s scale sting of 4. Just below the ant. And definitely not with my children around. So we made a choice and now we have the consequences. And a 9 year old that is heavily invested and who will remember this forever. Google says that the tarantula will die regardless as respiration will eventually stop, but I’m hopeful since we’re not the first to try this. I can’t get discord to work for me right now though, so we need all the help we can get. Update Post 1: March 1, 2024 (Same Day as comment update) Yesterday we found a tarantula that’s been paralysed by a hawk wasp. It was mid transportation to it’s den. After reading an article online we now know this might last a while, so please help this arachnophobe make it a makeshift home. The kids are heavily invested in the recovery. Right now it is in a cardboard box. Someone also sent me a link to discord where a guy has been through this, but it’s not working for me. Any help deeply appreciated. We are high up in the mountains of the Andes in Peru (about 3000m/9800ft) and far away (atleast 3 hours) from any kind of shop that would be able to help us, so this is a case of make do with what we have. I’m comforting myself with the fact that this is the spiders natural habitat, and so temperature stuff should be accounted for in that sense I hope. Yesterday it seemed to move it’s front legs ever so slightly, but this morning it’s completely still. I’d think it dead if I didn’t know better. Picture of spooder that still needs a name! Any suggestions? Also still very interested in knowing the species if anyone can tell. And picture of glass bowl with wooden lid that I am thinking will have to make do as far as a terrarium goes. What do we put in it that we can find outside? Image description: floofy tarantula Image 2: glass jar option Comment: Finding a different enclosure: OOP: Thank you I’ll find something better in town today Update Post 2: Same Day (March 1, 2024) Title: Paralysed tarantula has a new home So a few people asked me to keep you updated on out rescued hawk wasp stung paralysed spooder. Thank you for the advice on my other threads. We found a plastic tub in the small town today and have made holes in the lid and the top of the sides of the tub. We’ve filled it with Earth and plants from outside, and some bark and rocks. He/she is now living their best paralysed life on the shelf. Should I lay it on the dirt itself? Or a piece of paper of some sort? Or is it okay on the rock. We fed it water today to the best of our ability and saw a teeny tiny movement of one leg whilst that happened. So it’s still alive! Ongoing concern that it might die and we wouldn’t notice cause it would still just not move. Also, we think it might be some kind of Peruvian blue tarantula, so it’s aptly been named Bluey, which is good for my arachnophobia, as we do love that show and it doesn’t seem so scary. Anyways, any further tips, thoughts or feedback much appreciated! 🙏🏽 Image: a very nice tarantula enclosure, with fake plants and dirt A bit later that day: We just fed him water as best we can. And now I just remembered I might have some syringes in my work bag. We lifted him up and wetted a cotton swab and put drops on the edge of the mouth. He moved his leg a bit so still alive 😅 And he’s secure. We are very careful that he can’t fall anywhere. I know about the exoskeletons 😊 Update Post 3: March 6, 2024 (1 week from OG post) Title: 1 week update: Bluey the (hawk wasp) paralysed tarantula Hi everyone! A little update from Bluey the paralysed tarantula and his humble human servants. No news from the western front, which in this case might be as good as it gets for a while.. We’ve given him/ her some extra quiet time the past three days, and haven’t given water or anything, since I felt bad after someone said it was really stressful for them to be handled, and I’d been giving him water every day which meant he was being ‘handled’ every day. But I’ve kept an eye on the habitat because I’ve got weird anxiety that some other insect will get into it, and start eating him. Well today, I thought it good to try to give him some water again, but it doesn’t seem like much is happening. I’m hoping 1-2 droplets finds it way. Other than that, Bluey is still his own paralysed self and we aren’t seeing any movements at all yet. Today when inspecting the habitat I saw a little speck of mold from some organic material in the earth from outside, so everything had a cleaning, and he has new soil etc. I think we might need to change everything every 5-7 days just to be sure. This weekend we’re going away, and I’m having mild anxiety thinking of him being unsupervised 😂 Obligatory pictures of Bluey and new soil for Reddit tax. Image of Bluey Update Post 4: March 17, 2024 (18 days from OG post) Title: 18 day Update on Bluey the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula Bluey is hanging in tightly here on day 18. We are slowly but surely seeing a bit more movement of legs when we give water every few days. Still not sure if Bluey is really drinking any of the water that we are hand dripping with a dropper, but we are positive in regards to recovery, seeing the tiny flexion of a leg or two now when handling 🙏🏽 How much time can we let pass before we have to think about ways to feed Bluey? Image: Bluey in their bark hut Update Post 5: March 31, 2024 (2 weeks from previous update) A quick update on Bluey! Bluey is still paralysed. Going on day 32. About a week ago I thought we were seeing more movement, but alas we are back to zero. I cannot tell you why though, but I have an inkling it’s moving in the right direction. We are still only feeding water, and doing it only every 3-4 days to limit handling. I can’t see any change in appearance since we found them, so I take that as a good sign atleast. But, as time goes by, I am now beginning to more seriously contemplate how we get food in them if we need to. How long can we go without trying to feed? And how do we feed a paralysed tarantula? Please explain it like I’m 5. Anyways, Bluey is hanging in there! Picture taken through the plastic container as we had no handling today but I wanted to give an update :) Update Post 6: April 10, 2024 (10 days later) Title: Day 42 update on Bluey the hawk-wasp paralysed tarantula! An update on our housing and, hopefully, rehabilitation of Bluey that was stung by a hawk wasp in our garden 42 days ago. Today we gave Bluey water again and something strange is going on! When I turned Bluey over to give them water with our dropper, We saw something tiny stuck in its mouth. I quickly removed it as I thought it was some kind of small stone I had accidentally placed Bluey in top of after our last watering, but to our big surprise, it was a tiny, hard, completely dry woodlouse! Also today we saw more movement of legs than we have accumulative within the last 42 days! 6, I repeat, SIX legs were slowly, slightly moving at once!!! So, now the question is: did Bluey somehow feed themself in their very limited paralysed state as a woodlouse came too close to their mouth? (And I am shook if this is what happened, because 1: i haven’t seen any insects in the habitat at any point in time. 2: this must then have been the worlds most unlucky woodlouse, as it must have almost wandered directly into blueys mouth, because: 3. Bluey has NOT moved from their rock even a milímeter in the time we’ve had them)… … OR can tarantulas regurgitate food? Like I’m thoroughly confused as to how that insect got into their mouth. It was sucked DRY. You can see the tiny woodlouse in the picture right in front of bluey. Anyways, today may have been the most positive we’ve been in 42 days. Seeing so much twitching and slow movement of legs has got us EXCITED for the progress! Image: Bluey on a white cloth OOP clarifies: I haven’t seen them move the fangs, but we did see a lot of movement yesterday so I can’t say it hasn’t happened. The woodlouse was like, IN it’s mouth, maybe I should have left it. How long the venom lasts: No one really knows. It depends on the type of wasp. The one Bluey was stung by, is the type with the most severe venom. Some people say they can’t rehabilitate, and will inevitably die- but it’s mostly theoretical as there haven’t been many that have observed the effect. There’s a guy on instagram tgat rehabilitated a tarantula. It took between 35-60 days for the venom to wear off. But theoretically it could be as long as 8-9 months Update Post 7: April 17, 2024 (1 week from previous post) Title: Bluey update (day 49): A very scary not so scary night So today we came home from a small overnight trip. We’ve been away since yesterday and had asked our cleaner to come by. I’ve told her about Bluey before and to just leave them and not use any chemicals close by. When we arrived home today I could immediately tell that she had sprayed insecticide since all the flies that come in when we have open doors, we’re gone. My heart sank. Went upstairs and looked into blueys habitat and found them curled up looking limb, [limp] half on the rock/ half down on the ground. Usually Bluey is sat firmly on the rock at the edge with legs spread out in a natural stance. Looked like the death curl I’ve seen in this sub multiple times. Asked my husband what to do, and since it’s late we decided to wait to tell the kids till tomorrow. I quietly cried after tucking our toddler in for bed, trying to figure out how to host a tarantula funeral and how to tell the kids, and then carried the habitat downstairs. In the kitchen I opened the habitat to put Bluey back on the rock so the position wouldn’t look so scary tomorrow when breaking the news. To my surprise, Bluey was not limb. Not limb at all. I put them down on the dirt in the habitat and immediately there was movement. To say that I SOBBED would be an understatement. Since yesterday, Bluey has pooped on their rock, and tried to WALK. Whilst trying to climb down the Little Rock they usually lay on, Bluey must have fell on top of their own legs (looking like a death curl), and didn’t have the capacity or strength to pick themself up again. There is SO MUCH more reaction coming from Bluey now than ever during the last two months. I realised that Bluey flinched/ moved when they felt my breath. I CRIED. Anyways, I’m attaching a short film of the moment we saw bluey flinch when he/she felt my breath. This spooder has to pull through. It just has to. Because I cannot deal with it if it doesn’t. Tonight was too much for my system. I never ever ever ever in my life thought you could get this attached to a spider. And even less so, that I would get this attached to a spider. Nevertheless here we are, and Bluey just needs to go ahead and recover now so I can live in mental peace again. [editor's note- there is a video of Bluey on this post] Update Post 8: May 7, 2024 (about 3 weeks later) Title: Bluey Update: the wasp paralysed tarantula day 68 Another watering day for Bluey. We are officially on day 68 of paralysis. Today my eldest held Bluey during the ordeal, as I didn’t have any more big cotton pads left that we usually use. We aren’t seeing any movement around the habitat, but as you can see there is a lot more movement in legs than ever before. Todays watering sponsored by wooden chopsticks as we’ve misplaced our dropper. We are still hopeful that Bluey will pull through at some point, and be ready to get back into the wild. If someone has a guess on the sex of Bluey, it’s much appreciated at this point! [editor's note- another video on this post! Bluey is twitching their legs and folding them in and out.] Bluey is theorized to be female in the comments, but her species continues to be unknown: OOP: NOT Bluey. So now that we have established that Bluey is a female, in case she recovers, would it be okay to release her into the same territory near a small den on our terrace where I’m pretty sure this one lives? Assuming this is a male. He’s been in our house twice and in our washing room, roaming about, and I’ve relocated him to the rocks with the ‘den’ and he immediately crawls into the same hole. I don’t know how much space tarantulas need, and if it would be better to release Bluey far away, in case she recovers at some point. Image: a different type of tarantula Update Post 9: June 18, 2024 (over 1 month later) Title: Bluey the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula day 104 A few days ago we passed day 100 of caretaking Bluey, who was stung, probably multiple times, by a hawk wasp right before we found her outside our garden. The past 1-2 months her shaking has subsided (which can be seen on my last video) and her movement when we give her water seem more coherent and slow. She is not yet moving around her habitat, and I got the feeling that she can not yet hold her own body weight or maybe her body is still paralysed even though her legs can now move. So she’s only moving her legs when she’s on her back so far have no water, and not when she’s ‘right side up’. So today I tried lightly lifting her body weight for her with a chopstick, and sure enough, she then started trying to walk, very slowly, but I’ll take what I can get. So I think we are moving into a next phase of quite literally rehabilitating her by encouraging movement with some help 😅. If she doesn’t recover enough in the next 3 months time to be released back into the wild, then we face a new problem of us leaving Peru for an extended period and what then to do with her. So if anyone knows of any tarantula keepers in the Cusco area of Peru (we are happy to transport her there or anywhere in the vicinity), then that might be a solution if she isn’t her best self yet at that point. Please feel free to reach out! But anyways, all in all, Bluey is still hanging in there! [editor's note- another video of Bluey] Comments: Commenter: Yay Bluey!! I wonder if you can get her one of those small toy skateboards for her to rest her body on so she can work on using her legs without holding the weight of her body? OOP: Omg. We are 1000% doing this! My son has a hotwheels skateboard! Feeding her: We haven’t been feeding her yet as her abdomen still looks a decent size and someone said that feeding might hurry up a molt, which she wouldn’t survive. She isn’t moving her pincers much yet. I see very slight moving when giving her water. Every few days we will take her out and place her on her back and put drops of water directly into her mouth which she kind of sucks in. OOP's fear of spiders: We’ll I’ve always been extremely scared of spiders. Like, refusing to sleep in a room if there was ANY spider there. I never ever ever ever thought I would be able to stay in the same room as a tarantula. I remember a Americas next top model episode from like 20 years ago where the models had tarantulas crawling on them and it was traumatic! Now, I don’t feel scared of tarantulas anymore. I am able to handle wild ones with my hands if I find one that needs relocating. And it’s sort of rubbed off on other spiders. I can’t hold others than tarantulas and jumping spiders, but I’m not deadly afraid of them anymore either and am okay with them living in my space. OOP adds: A funny added comment to this post: After a few comments about some tarantula YouTubers in Peru atm, I looked at their socials, and they’ve posted multiple photos of blueys species saying it’s unknown, and they may get to name it because they discovered it 😂 Makes better sense why I haven’t had luck identifying her with pictures online! Update Post 10: June 26, 2024 (8 days later) Title: Update day 113: Bluey the (sk8ter) hawk wasp paralysed tarantula. Houston, we have forward movement, I repeat, we have forward movement! One small step for tarantulas, one giant step for Bluey! It seems the hot wheels skateboard (where is our sponsorship?) we decided to try out to help encourage Bluey to start walking (after I realised last week she was having difficulty holding her body weight and coordinating her legs whilst right side up) has done the trick! I got out my camera to film for you lovely people, but Bluey decided she wanted to show us her own trick of CRAWLING down the skateboard. She then continued to very slowly scoot/ move herself forward on the table afterwards, essentially walking, just really slowly. This is the first time we have seen this kind of movement from her, and I am beyond amazed! I am truly truly truly feeling optimistic that she will make a full recovery. Yay Bluey the sk8tergiiirl! Also unsure if there’s sound on video, but in case there is, excuse toddler noises in the background. [editor's note- in the attached video, Bluey is perched on the skateboard. She is moving her legs!] Update Post 11: July 10, 2024 (14 days later, day 117) Title: Community call for action: help me find Bluey a home (for the future). Okay, so I feel like we are going two steps forward and one step back. 14 days ago Bluey was finally starting to snail her way forward when let loose on the living room table. Now it seems our paralysis Queen has decided that walking is for peasants, and has just decided not to do it. She CAN move, and will move if you blow on her, but she won’t walk. It’s giving attitude honestly. Anyways, as I’ve mentioned briefly before, we will be leaving Peru in a few months, and the prospect of Bluey deciding that the life of special needs tarantula is better than wild tarantula is stressing me. If she does not fully rehabilitate before we leave we will have no choice but to put her down. So, I am reaching out to you, dear redditors and Bluey cheer squad, to please help me find a solution. We would be able to transport her very many places in Peru if it’s possible to find a tarantula enthusiast that would be willing to take on this special needs queen. I really do believe she will recover and become as pleasant a pet as any tarantula ever was, but she may not be able to do it within the timeframe we have. Then there the slight chance that she may recover but will be wonky for the rest of her life, which would only make her suitable for a ‘pet’ life, and not being released into the wild again. I’d even be willing to transport her to the United States, if anyone can help me figure out how to get through that process, and if there was a home for her there. We would be able to take her with us to Florida. I know Bluey is semi paralysed still, but she really is a lovely little creature and I suspect a bit of a diva after being pampered for 5 months. I’m pretty sure she could both do a defensive stance and shoot her hairs if she wanted to, but she seems very content with all handling, flipping, skateboarding and whatever else she’s been subjected to the last 5 months in our care. We cannot in any shape way or form keep taking care of her after we leave. We will be in the road without a Homebase. Image: Bluey on a skateboard OOP comments: ETA: Seems like I only need to post on Reddit and call her a lazy queen with attitude. Now she took a stroll across the table without anyone noticing. Update Post 12: August 15, 2024 (over 1 month later) Title: Update day 162: Bluey the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula Sorry for going so long without an update, life has been overwhelming lately, but, Today Bluey has graduated from her tiny enclosure to a bigger one. The past few weeks I’ve noticed she has started to move around her habitat, but when she reached the edges she’d stop altogether, so today we moved her in the hopes that it will motivate more movement. She is still recovering. But moving more. More coherently but still slow. She isn’t dragging as much anymore though, so we are still seeing progress. We are still feeding her water directly into her mouth every few days, but I’ve also started leaving a little waterbowl for her in her enclosure. We still need to put in some more vegetation, which I will get from the mountain today, but we’ve tried to replicate the outside as much as possible with what’s happening in wintertime atm. We’ve also tried to do the substrate in 3 layers so it’s the same as outside. I am still hoping she could be ready for the wild before we leave, but I’m looking for someone local to take over care in case she isn’t. It seems that all tarantulas are in some sort of hibernation atm as we haven’t seen any in the wild since like April or may. The tarantula wasps have been gone in the same period. Basically since the fall/winter hit. I’m thinking they must be coming out again around October/ November some time. Anyways, hoping to get a movie of her soon walking so you can all be kept up to date :)! Image of dirt/leaves/rocks from Bluey's natural habitat Update Post 13: September 4, 2024 Title: Update day 182: Bluey the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula So I tried to post earlier, but it doesn’t seem to have gone through 😩 It’s been a while since I updated you all so thought I’d make a proper update. Bluey moved into her new and bigger habitat some weeks ago. She’s been laying very quiet again, but seems to have begun exploring the last few days. Which begs a new question to you all: How much do you expect your normal non-paralysed tarantulas to move around each day? I’m feeling unsure if Bluey is actually behaving like a normal tarantula at this point. She can definitely walk, and has started regaining some quicker movements as you can see when she flinches in the video annoyed by my chopstick. She has learned to live with me. I think she believes me an acquired taste. I’ve taken to herding her around a bit to help her regain some strength and mobility- not that I ever thought I’d be able to add tarantula strength coach to my resume. Maybe she’s ready for us to start to try and feed her? She has started crawling up and down the rocks which is definitely a positive and her movements look better than ever. On another positive note, we’ve decided to come back here to the Andes in December and will only be gone for 6 weeks. If shes not released before that, I’m hoping it won’t be too difficult to find a temporary carer,- she is very low maintenance as far as pet goes. Video description- Bluey walking! Update Post 14: September 14, 2024 (10 days later) Title: Update day 191: Bluey the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula Good morning! A little update and some reflections from us. Bluey seems to be making rapid progress now. I’m unsure if I’m seeing a lot of poop in her enclosure. Like small white spots that I haven’t noticed before. Bluey is moving a lot at night. Every morning she is wedged up against a new side of her tank. I think she’s hungry. We’ve tried giving her flies but she has zero interest. Also, you can’t see it in the picture, BUT SHE HAS STARTED WEBBING HER ENCLOSURE!!! Like, all over the bottom of the tank, spread from in between the rocks, there is webbing. I don’t know if they’d use this in the wild to trap food, but I am actually almost crying seeing this progress and knowing her spinners work (what are they called?). Anyways, we will try capturing a cricket and giving it to her, but honestly I am starting to wonder if this little spooder would be better off at this point to be brought up the mountain and re-released in a secluded spot without humans (I’m scared she’d not be scared of humans and would come to close and be stomped). If we are getting close to an actual release, should we find a rocky place? A hole? How do we find a habitat with best conditions for survival? Photo of her position this morning. Image: Bluey in her dirt Update Post 16: September 16, 2024 (2 days later) Title: Bluey update day 193: WE HAVE A MOLT!!!!!!!! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the new and improved Bluey!! We have a successful molt (as far as i Can Tell). Bluey has been laying quiet the last 24 hours and was not a fan of me trying to move her last night. This morning we woke up to weird creases in her abdomen (see prior post), and we felt it was probably molt time. Less than 4 hours later we HAVE A MOLT! Look at her! Very demure, very mindful. We are thinking she will be ready for a release next week before we travel. We have thought of a great spot for her. 15 minutes away, there’s a part of the mountains here in the Andes that turn into a protected national reserve. We’ll make her a home there and release her to make babies now that spring is hitting. We will ofcourse make sure that she is 100% before we do anything :)! Image: Bluey with her molt! Final Update Post 17: September 24, 2024 (7 months from OG post) Title: Day 200: The re-release of Bluey, the hawk wasp paralysed tarantula. Today, is the day. Coincidentally day 200 since we found Bluey, and the day before we start our travels for the coming months. Bluey has been more active since molting and has reacted to us more like a normal tarantula I think. After observing her after her molt, it’s clear that 1 of her back legs is a little wonky, but she is still moving fast and like a normal tarantula, so I think it will fix itself with her next molt. We have made her a bugsmoothie as suggested before releasing and given her her last drink of water. Today we drove 30 minutes with her to a protected piece of nature to set her free. After she molted it became clear that she is in fact a Hapalotremus hananqheswa species. A dwarf species that are earth dwellers and absolutely only native to this little piece of the Andes in Peru. I’ve been reading up on their habitat and burrows to try and help her out a bit. We found a great spot and dug her a hole halfway under a larger boulder, put in her favourite “resting” rocks from her ‘rehabilitation habitat-burrow’ in there for her, let her crawl in and covered most of the exit with a stable rock (the one she’s had in her habitat since we found her), and covered that with moss etc, so that it was well hidden and the entrance was the size they are used to in nature. We dug out a little hole close to the burrow, for a small porcelain bowl, camouflaged it and put rocks in before pouring in water. It will catch rainwater for her going forward. She is also not too far from a natural river (you can hear it in the background). It’s been an emotional day for us. Especially the kids. It feels so right to let her back into nature and at the same time I’m already thinking of the 10.000 things that could happen to her tonight. But alas, she is free again, and I hope she lives a long and healthy life, free of hawk wasps, and makes lots of babies 🌀 Thank you to everyone who has read along the last 8 months. It’s been overwhelming with the support Bluey (and we) have received, and we thank you endlessly for all your cheers and sharing of knowledge. I am SO RELIEVED that this story is ending happily. Video of Bluey moving into her new home. [Editor's note- view video on OOP's post! Bluey climbs into her new hole in the ground and seems very happy.] Comments: Commenter: I'm equally happy as I am sad to see her go 😭😭😭😭 OOP: Same! We cried many tears today Commenter: Have any spider science people (sorry I’m stupid) followed this at all? I mean, this has to be unprecedented data, or at least data that could contribute somehow to the scientific community for both these species OOP: Nope. No science people. I tried reaching out to a department here in Peru but never heard back Commenter: That’s amazing. Are you going to go to that spot a couple month from now to check up on her? Please say yes lol OOP: Yes probably 😂 but I’m also scared to do it in case we see something disheartening. The kids would never recover or forgive me, so it’s like Schrödingers cat for me. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

**I am NOT OOP. Original post by u/MHabibti in r/AITAH** Trigger Warnings: Infidelity, attempted suicide, psychological abuse of a spouse and children, medical emergency requiring CPR, discussions of a life-threatening medical condition Mood Spoilers: Rage inducing Notes: Possible fake. Updates were added as edits to the original post so there are no time stamps for them. The entire post is shown below as it appears originally. Thanks to u/porkypandas for finding this post. ​ AITAH for telling my husband he has to wait to get a heart transplant? Posted Dec 22, 2023 FINAL UPDATE SECOND UPDATE UPDATE below. Please bear with me, as there is a lot of information. My husband (age 46) and I ( 42F) have been married for 16 years and have 2 kids, ages 13 and 10. He was born with a heart defect and has seen a cardiologist since the age of 20. Last year, he had a heart attack. He collapsed right in front of the kids and me at the park. His heart stopped and I had to do CPR while my kids watched. Thankfully, he started breathing again by the time the ambulance arrived. He was in a coma for 3 days and the only reason he survived is thanks to a device called LVAD (Left Ventricular Assist Device), which is basically a machine that pumps his blood. The device is attached to his heart and is powered by batteries. A cable comes out of his torso and is attached to a controller, which in turn connects to batteries that he carries in a bag and have to be changed every 12-15 hours. At night, the controller connects to a long cable that plugs into the wall outlet. I happen to think this is a miracle of modern medicine . He thinks it’s annoying because the bag is bulky and he had to give up swimming because the cable can’t get wet. At first, the doctors wanted to do a heart transplant, but decided he wasn’t strong enough to withstand that surgery. The average recovery time for a heart transplant is 3 months, compared to 3 weeks for an LVAD surgery. During this time, he needs a full-time caretaker and he has to relocate closer to the hospital because he would have weekly appointments. He will eventually need a transplant , but he can live with the LVAD for years. However, we received extensive information about both procedures. Back to the current problem. Three days ago I got a call from the hospital to schedule an appointment to meet with a social worker and go over everything I need to know as the caretaker of a transplant recipient. I was completely confused. Based on everything I learned last year, I know this is one of the last steps before adding someone to the wait list. After asking some questions, I learned that my husband had already done all the tests necessary and depending on the outcome of my appointment, he could be added to the list within days and because of his blood type, he would probably get a heart within 2 months. I was livid. My husband started the process without talking to me. I asked if there is any risk of heart failure if we wait a little longer. She said there’s no risk as long as he takes care of himself. She also said on average, people keep the LVAD for 7 years before getting a new heart. I thanked the social worker and said I’d call her back. The hospital where he would get the transplant is 5 hours away from our home. As I mentioned before, the recovery time is about 3 months, he needs a caretaker with him 24/7 and he has to be within one hour of the hospital in case of an emergency. That evening after dinner I asked him why he hadn’t told me that he was planning to get the transplant soon. His answer floored me: “Do I have to ask for your permission? I’m the one having surgery. Don’t I get to decide when it happens?” I asked him who his caretaker was. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “Are you saying you won’t do it? You’re MY WIFE .” I then asked him who is going to take care of our children for 3 months. He suggested they come with us. I reminded him of a few minor problems that he probably hadn’t thought about: I need to get a leave of absence from work and this is our busiest time of the year. We have no support system, as our families live in a different state. The children have school. I can’t take care of him properly if I also have to take care of our kids. We would need to pay rent for an apartment close to the hospital while also paying our mortgage. Not to mention that our 13-year old is in therapy for acute depression and suicidal ideation, which started after the heart attack. Missing therapy for 3 months could be detrimental to his mental health. I told him something this huge needs to be planned. If he can wait until next summer, my sister , who is a teacher, can come and stay with our kids. We can save some money in the meantime, and I can give my work advance notice so I don’t leave anything pending. I also reminded him that there’s no rush, the LVAD is working fine. He got angry at me and told me I just can’t understand how “annoying “ it is to deal with the batteries. I tried to remain calm and said, “You’re right. I don’t understand what you have to go through. And I get that you have to take care of yourself. But I have to take care of all 4 of us. So I’m asking you to deal with the annoyance for 6 more months so I can come up with a plan that will be best for everyone .” He got really angry and started yelling at me, saying I was being selfish, only thinking about what was more convenient for me. He asked, “Why are you trying to stop me from getting a surgery that will save my life? Do you want me to die?” I swear I felt my love and respect for him die a little. I was done being nice. I didn’t cry, I didn’t raise my voice. I simply looked at him and said, “ You’re the one who’s selfish. I can deal with you putting your needs ahead of mine. But not ahead of the needs of your children. And you’re not dying, so stop being so dramatic. You expect me to drop everything to take care of you because I’m YOUR WIFE, but it never occurred to you to include YOUR WIFE in the decision-making process. When you refused to give me a say, you refused me the respect you owe me as YOUR WIFE.” He just stood there, literally shaking with anger. His fists were clenched, his face was red and he refused to look at me. I said, “You have two choices. Either you wait 6 months so I can figure out a plan, or you find another caretaker and have your surgery whenever you want. Then after your transplant, you can either treat me with the respect you owe me or we get a divorce.” As I walked away, I added, “ And if I wanted you to die, I wouldn’t have saved your life at the park last year.” I went upstairs to our bedroom and a few minutes later, I heard him leave the house. He didn’t come home that night and has been ignoring my calls and texts. Yesterday I texted him asking him to let me know he’s ok before I report him missing. He texted back “I’m alive.” But he still hasn’t come home. I know he came by while I was at work because his LVAD stuff is gone along with some clothes and toiletries. I honestly don’t know who he is anymore. But I know my kids are heartbroken because he hasn’t even called them. I’m pretty sure my marriage is over and I keep asking myself if I overreacted, but I don’t think I did. So, am I the asshole? UPDATE: I posted this at midnight trying to get some perspective and boy, did I! It is now 8 am and my life has changed forever. Thank you to all who posted here. The supportive comments, the ones bashing me. They all have helped in some way. I’ve never been called selfish before. It was a new experience I haven’t slept at all. I’m exhausted and completely defeated. Around 5 am, I got a message on Reddit. It said, “Hi. This is Shelly, Tom’s wife. “ (Not real names). Tom is my husband’s friend from work, the one he’s always playing golf with. Shelly tells me she saw that I was on Reddit and asks if we can meet for breakfast. I explain that my kids are on winter break and we have plans. She insists saying she really needs to talk to me. My kids are sleeping, I can’t meet her. So she offers to come to my house. Shelly and I have never spent time together, even though our husbands are friends. But she keeps insisting, so I agree and I give her my address. When she gets to my house, she’s super nervous. She tells me she read my post on Reddit and she figured out it was me. I invited her inside, but she said she didn’t want to wake up the kids and asked if we could talk outside even though it’s like 50 degrees. We walked to the backyard and I lit up candles and turned on the fireplace my husband built in the backyard. She wastes no time and tells me that my husband is cheating on me with a woman he met at the gym. I’m so exhausted from the sleepless night and the emotional shredding I experienced on Reddit, that I have no reaction. She tells me she and Tom go to the same gym and Tom convinced my husband to join two months after the heart attack. If you read all or most of my posts, you’ll know that’s when he stopped spending time with his family. My husband lost a lot of weight in the hospital and his wedding ring was loose and he “didn’t want to lose it” so he stopped wearing it. Apparently, he charmed her, lied to her and started dating her. She had no idea he was married. And she was awed by the story of the heart attack and the LVAD. He conveniently left out the part where his wife administered CPR. By this point, I’m so confused and ask Shelly what she’s getting out of this. I don’t know her. Does she hate me because my husband told her about the other day? She tells me she can call “Jen” and have her come over with proof. So I agree. 10 minutes later, this perky blonde in her mid twenties with a blond ponytail gets out of a car in front of my house. Her eyes are red and swollen and she immediately starts crying and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know!” She shows me her phone. Picture after picture of this girl with my husband. Some of them with their heads on pillows, mussed hair and both obviously topless. Then she moves on to the texts. And I want to throw up. Flirty, sexy, and downright x-rated messages going back and forth. Let me insert here that when we were learning about what to expect after LVAD or transplant surgery, the topic of sex came up. The person doing the teaching mentioned that it’s normal for a person’s sex drive to decrease after surgery. In some cases, ED can be an issue , most likely temporary, but everyone is different. My husband and I always had a healthy, satisfying sex life. Even after 15 years of marriage, we had sex several times a week. Sometimes every day. About a month after he came home, I tried to initiate sex and he apologized, but said he wasn’t ready. I didn’t push. I tried a couple more times and he felt bad, so I told him to not worry about it. I could wait until he was ready. 13 months later, I find out he’s been screwing his 26-year-old personal trainer. How fucking cliche! With every picture, every text, I felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. But the blow to the heart came with a message from about 2 months ago. When he started telling her that he was ready for the transplant. He told her. Not his wife. Some of you suggested that he was terrified of his life depending on a machine. Or that his PTSD was so severe, he was afraid of dying of a complication with the LVAD. Her next text read, “ OMG baby thats awesome. You were so against it before what made you change ur mind?” (Yes, I’m petty enough to include her ridiculous grammatical errors). He replied “I’m sick and tired of this fucking bag weighing me down. It makes me look old and sick”. She said, “No it doesn’t! I don’t care about a stupid bag ur super hot”. His answer? “It gets in the way when I fuck you.” That’s when I started sobbing. Not because of the message. But because of the date. He sent her that text the day my son attempted suicide the second time. I was in the hospital ICU watching my son in a bed, wrists bandaged, blood dripping into his veins. PRAYING for God to not take my son away from me. And my “husband” was at home, supposedly taking care of my daughter and cleaning up the blood in my son’s room. Probably laying in our bed or sitting on the couch where we made out the week before and he’s sexting his girlfriend. The next day my son opened his eyes and asked for his dad. I called him and told him our boy was awake and wanted to see him. He was out of breath, told me he was walking into an early meting and he was late. That he would stop by after work. What did their text say? She sent him a picture of herself : her breasts uncovered to show a hickie the size of a grape. “I like it when the bag slaps my leg so kinky.” He replied “I wish I was there right now. I’ll stop by tomorrow on my way to work. Maybe I’ll call in sick.” She replied with peach and eggplant emojis I did throw up then. I asked her for more details about his transplant. He told her he couldn’t stand his mom, so his sister was going to take care of him. She didn’t have a husband, or children, or a life, so she could take care of him. When “Jen” offered to take care of him, he told her he didn’t want her to see him at his worst. But three days ago, he came over with an overnight bag and asked if he could stay with her. And started hinting that maybe it would be better if she takes care of him after the surgery. I turned to Shelly and asked how long she had known. It seems she saw the post and made a comment to Tom. That’s when Tom said it sounded similar to his friend’s situation and he told her everything. She started crying because when my husband was “playing golf” with Tom, Tom was “fishing” with my husband. After reading that my husband couldn’t go fishing, she realized Tom is lying to her. But she has known Jen for a long time, so she called her to tell her the truth. I asked Jen what she was going to do. In front of me, she texted my husband “You’re a lying cheating piece of shit. Don’t ever contact me again.” Her phone stated ringing immediately and she blocked him. Then she agreed to go with me when I meet with a divorce lawyer. She promised to give me all the texts and pictures and give a statement if needed. Jen apologized again and again and she and Shelly left. Shelly also promised to give a statement. After my kids had breakfast, my phone rang. I wanted to throw it in the garbage disposal, but I answered. My husband started apologizing profusely. Saying I was right. That he could wait 6 months and he wanted to come home to his family. I told him to stop by after work. So I have about 9 hours to pack up his shit and leave it outside the front door with screenshots of their text messages. He’ll have no choice but to accept his parents’ help now. And I hope to God he has the decency to try to mend his relationship with his children. That’s the only chance I’m willing to give him. I’m sorry that this was so long. I’m absolutely drained, but oddly at peace. So many things make sense. And now I’m going to take my kids to a movie. SECOND UPDATE After I told the Cheating Dick (CD) he could come over after work, I started packing up all his stuff. While clearing out his closet, I found a shoe box with some interesting items. A pink thong with what looks like dried semen, pictures of Jen, naked and asleep. I don’t know if she’s posing or he took them without her knowledge. And a nice bundle of notes she wrote him over the last 8 months. They are signed and dated. Around 1 pm I got a text from CD saying he was on his way home and asking if the kids could go to the neighbors’ so we could talk. Fortunately, the kids were already there. CD came in and walked straight to me with his arms open. I avoided him and walked around the kitchen island to stay out of his reach. He actually looked hurt. I asked why he wasn’t at work and he said he felt so terrible about the way he yelled at me the other night, he left work early to come talk to me. He said he loves me so much. He loves his family and is terrified of losing us. He knows he shouldn’t have gone behind my back to start the process of adding his name to the transplant list. He just wanted to get rid of the batteries because they are always in his way. I said, “We have had so many conversations about this in the past year. You decided you didn’t want the transplant. You decided you were going to keep the LVAD for a couple of years. Instead of going behind my back, why didn’t you come to me so we could make a plan together?” He said he thought I’d be ok with it since we’ve done it before. Bull. We’ve never made major decisions without talking it through. Or at least I haven’t. I told him. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. In the past couple of days, I’ve realized that we want very different things in the future. I have sensed a major shift in our relationship and I honestly don’t believe our marriage can be saved.” I waited a few seconds, but he didn’t say anything “I found a petition for divorce form online and I would like us to go over it and try to agree on stuff. That way we can avoid expensive lawyers.” He went from looking contrite to furious. He started yelling at me saying, “If you think you can get rid of me, you are out of your fcking mind!” I reminded him that he just apologized for yelling at me and now he was doing it again. He continued yelling “Fck that! And f*ck you! What about our vows? What about ‘in sickness and in health’?” I looked at him and asked “What about ‘forsaking all others’? Who broke their vows first?” The look on his face would have been funny if I wasn’t so scared of him. He called me a bitch and stormed out of the house. Before this week, he had never yelled at me, never directed profanities at me, never called me names. I tried to calm down so the kids wouldn’t see me upset when they came back. About 30 minutes after CD left, I got a message from Shelly. She said Jen really needed to talk to me and gave me both their cell numbers. I called Jen. She was crying and told me CD came to her apartment and was begging her to open the door so they could talk. He said he loves her, apologized for lying to her about being married, but swore that his marriage was over long ago and the only reason he stayed married to me was for the kids. When he saw that she wasn’t budging, he started sobbing uncontrollably and asked her for another chance. He told her he’s filing for divorce on Monday so they can get married once it’s final. Jen told him she can’t trust anything he says. How can you tell someone you love them and lie to them for months? She asked him to leave. He asked if he can call her. She said no. She’s telling me all of this while on her way out the door. I can hear a whispered “What. The. F*ck!” I asked her what was wrong and she said CD was sitting in his car crying. I stayed on the phone with her until she got into her car and drove away. I took the kids to dinner and we had a great time. When we got home, they wanted to read, so they went to their rooms. I got a big glass of wine and sat down with my own book. I got a text from Jen saying CD approached her at the gym and went from “Please baby, give me another chance” to “Are you flirting with that f*cker to make me jealous?” Jen admitted that she’s scared of him and is thinking about getting a restraining order. She’s going to unblock his number so she can have more proof of his harassment. Around 8:45 CD came over again and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw all the moving boxes. He looked at me and said, “where do you think you’re going?” I thought that was hilarious! I told him that was his stuff, not mine. I told him our marriage was over and since he took some of his stuff a few days ago when he walked out, he could go ahead and take the rest. He said he was staying here. I said, “where did you stay the past few days?” He answered, “At Tom’s.” I looked at him and said “Stop lying!!! We both know you were with your girlfriend.” He swears he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He loves me and wants to fix our marriage. I said “I thought you were only with me for the kids and plan to file for divorce on Monday” He asked me who told me that. I said “Obviously Jen”. He went still and pale and asked “Who’s Jen?” I sighed and said “I’m done. I’m so tired of your lies. I want a divorce. I want us to sit down and talk and agree on who gets what. I want to work out a schedule for the kids without going to court. But most of all, I want you out of the house and out of my face.” He snorted. The mother fcker SNORTED!!!! And says, “Why should I make it easy for you?” I grabbed my phone and showed him a picture of the contents of his shoebox. “Because if we go to court, I’m pretty sure you’d be screwed.” He looked defeated and all he managed to say was, “what about my transplant?” I told him his transplant is none of my business and to call his parents who are amazing people eager to help him. And just when I think he can’t get any douchier , he tells me I can keep the house if I help him through his recovery. I told him to get the fck out of my house before I throw his boxes in the front lawn and set them on fire. FINALLY he left I’m sitting here nauseated, angry, hurt, wondering how I’m going to get through a lifetime of dealing with him for the sake of my children. And wondering if he really did change or he’s been like this all along. And I’m so angry at myself because I know I’m going to cry myself to sleep over a pathetic a-hole who doesn’t deserve my tears. FINAL UPDATE: It’s been a crazy few days. So much has happened!!! I’ve been calling my soon-to-be ex the Cheating Dick, but that’s too long so I’ll just call him Dick. Very appropriate, I think. The day after Dick offered me the house in exchange for being his nurse for three months, he sent me a text (this would be Saturday 12/23). Asking if we could talk. I told him yes as long as he doesn’t yell at me and he spends some time with the kids. He agreed. I told the kids daddy was coming over and that I was going to get some coffee while they hung out. When Dick got there, he seemed genuinely happy to see the kids, but my son asked if he could go with me instead. I asked him why he wanted to go with me. He said, “Please. I’d rather not stay.” Then my daughter said she didn’t want to stay without her brother. Dick got mad and sent them to their room so he and I could talk. Once again, he went from apologetic to angry, to distraught to cruel. I tried to be calm and I told him I really think he needs someone to talk to (I didn’t want to use the word “therapy”). I pointed out that the last year has been traumatic and stressful and he needed more support than I alone can provide. He said he’ll go to therapy if I agree to be his caretaker. But he would only agree to see a marriage therapist. I said no. Our marriage is over and no amount of therapy will change my mind. Also, the only thing I’m willing to negotiate is the terms of the divorce. We went back and forth. He said he will never agree to a divorce. I said he doesn’t have a choice. He said he would fight me for full custody. I said he can try, but I don’t think he’ll win. Then he said. “If you agree to be my caretaker, I will sign the divorce papers, give you the house and full custody of the kids. “ I wanted to yank our wedding pictures off the wall and break them on his head. I said, “If you really mean that, put it in writing.” He left without saying bye to the kids. On Christmas Eve, I tried my best to continue with our family traditions. My son seems better. We baked cookies and he helped me clean the kitchen. He started talking about how excited he is about starting high school next year. If you haven’t been around a suicidal teen, you have no idea how HUGE this is. My son is talking about the future like he actually plans to be here!” I wanted to cry. Just sit in the middle of the kitchen and bawl like a baby. We had a wonderful Christmas Eve drinking hot chocolate and watching Arthur Christmas. Dick texted me to ask if he could come over the next day to exchange gifts with the kids. My son said ok as long as I don’t leave the house. I relayed that information to Dick and he agreed. Christmas morning was awesome. My kids gave me a necklace with a see-through locket-type pendant with charms inside: A house, a car, two cats and stick figures of a boy and a girl with my kids’ birthstones. I love it! We went to church and dropped cookies off at the police station and fire department. Dick came over in the afternoon. It was ok. I had already bought Dick a gift, so I told him he could have it. After the kids opened their gifts, Dick said he needed to go to his den to get my gift. I told him he could go get it, but I didn’t want it. He came back with it and said, “Trust me. You want this. It’s big, so it’s a Christmas/birthday gift.” I opened it because my kids seemed to know what it was and they were really excited. And screw that bastard to hell and back because he gave me something I’m going to have a REALLY hard time refusing: A trip to Vegas in February and 2 tickets to the Super Bowl!! He knows my team has an excellent chance of making it to the Super Bowl this season. He also knows that the thing I love the most after my family, friends and pets is my football team. And I know that he’s going to insist on going with me. Afterwards we talked some more and I told him I’m really worried about him. His mood swings are so severe that he’s making people afraid, including his kids. He said he knows. That he’s starting to scare himself. I told him I don’t understand why he won’t let his mom help. He said he got it into his head that I’m his wife, so I should be the one taking care of him. I asked him if he would reconsider letting his parents help. He said, “What if we wait the 6 months you asked for? Then when your sister comes to stay with the kids, you can go with me. Meanwhile we can see a marriage therapist.” I really don’t know how to make him understand that I’m not going to change my mind about the divorce. I said, “Remember before we got married, we talked about how many kids we wanted, we picked baby names and we agreed that our marriage could survive anything. Except two things. Do you remember that?” He didn’t say anything, so I continued. “I told you I could forgive anything except any kind of abuse towards myself or my kids. And infidelity. You felt the same way.” He went to say good night to the kids. They all came back and the kids asked if dad could spend the night. I didn’t have the heart to say no, but I made it clear he would stay in the guest room. He came to my room at night and tried to talk himself into our bed. Hell no! I asked him to leave and locked myself in. The next day (yesterday) he left for work and made a comment like “I’ll see you at dinner.” I reminded him the overnight stay was a one-time thing and he had to find another place to stay. I had a super busy day. The first thing I did was leave a message for Dick’s social worker at the hospital and another for a local divorce attorney asking for an appointment ASAP. My kids went over to the neighbors’ house while I went with Jen to the courthouse to file a restraining order. She’ll be notified of the hearing date by mail. I called Shelly to see how things are going. She and Tom are “working stuff out” and she’s staying with him. Best of luck to her. Then I went home and picked up my son for his therapy appointment. I asked for 5 minutes before their sessions started. I told the therapist almost everything that’s happened. I asked him for the best way to tell my kids what’s going on in an age-appropriate way. He said to tell them the truth without going into details and to let them ask questions. He called my son into the room and asked him, “Can I tell your mom some of what you’ve shared with me regarding your dad?” My heart sank. My son said, “I’ll tell her.” He turns to me and starts telling me that he has overheard his dad talking to another woman. That the conversations are inappropriate and he has to make sure his sister is distracted while dad is on the phone, but he thinks she knows because sometimes she gets really sad and asks if daddy is on the phone again. He looked to his therapist for support, I guess because he kept going. “The last time we spent time with dad, he took us to the skateboarding park and then spent the entire time talking to a lady. When I came close I heard him say we were his niece and nephew. I asked him why he said that and he told me I heard him wrong. But I didn’t like the way he was talking to her.” I thanked him for telling me. I stepped out and let them continue with their session. On our way home, I stopped at the hardware store for a dead bolt. Of course, when Dick tried to get in and couldn’t, he threw a fit. He started kicking the door. I told him he was scaring the kids and I would have to call the cops. He left. About an hour later, I got a call from Jen saying Dick showed up at her place again to continue begging. At this point I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about this and I kind of wish she would leave me out of it. I told her to not open the door and to call the police if he doesn’t leave. I called my home security company to ask about getting copies of any recordings from our doorbell and living room cameras in case I need them for court. Today I talked to the social worker. She told me Dick revoked my Release of Information so they can’t talk to me about his medical information . I said that’s fine. I told her about his extreme mood shifts, and that I would not be his caretaker. I told her I’m really worried about him because he’s acting completely out of character. She said she would schedule an appointment with him to see what’s going on. I was also able to meet with a lawyer (she made time for me during her lunch hour). I’m going to file a restraining order. And if Dick gets violent again, I will call the cops and ask for a psychiatric hold. The police might not do it, but at least the police report would show that I requested one. I took my daughter to her first therapy session and told her therapist what’s going on. She told me she s going to communicate with my son’s therapist so they’re on the same page. (They work for the same behavioral health center) I called my in-laws and told them everything. They said they’ve been worried about him , but they figured it was nerves because he was about to get his transplant. But now they know he’s been lying. They’re coming to California to try to help. I’m not sure what they can do, but at the very least I’m hoping they can take over dealing with his BS. I had a talk with my kids. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I explained to them that their dad and I don’t get along anymore and we’re getting a divorce. My daughter started crying and asked if it was because of the other ladies. I told her that’s part of it, but daddy also went through something very traumatic last year and he hasn’t been the same. He needs time to recover and decide if he wants to go back to the way he was before. She asked me if he would come back home if he gets better and I said no. My son said he’s scared of his dad and doesn’t want to live with him. My daughter said the same. She also thinks it’s her fault for not telling me about the other ladies. So, that’s another topic for her therapist. I told her it’s absolutely not their fault. Whatever goes wrong between two married people is their fault alone. She asked what I did wrong and I told her it took me too long to realize how much daddy had changed and I didn’t help him sooner. My son asked if we could move back east so we could be close to family. I told him we need to stay here for now so they can be close to daddy. But we’ll talk about it again in a few months. So, I’m filing for divorce and I’m asking for full custody for the time being. Once Dick agrees to therapy and starts making some progress, we can revisit the custody agreement. I’m going to look for a smaller house for the kids and me. Dick loves this house, so he can keep it or we can sell it. I really don’t care. I’m strangely numb. I found a therapist for myself, I start next week. I’m glad I’ll have someone who can help me through this. Anyway, I think that about covers it. What a roller coaster this has been. I wasn’t going to add this last update, but I figured since I dragged you into this drama, even if it’s online, I owed it to you to tell you what’s going on. Thank you for the support. It has helped more than you can possibly know. **Reminder - I am not the OOP (Original Original Poster).** submitted by /u/G1Gestalt to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

For those who are wondering why I say he's so amazing. Here's a little bit more information on him and our relationship. (A copy and paste of a comment to someone who followed me to another husband rant post and told me I couldn't judge after this post) He does homework, showers, cleans up after dinner (I cook, he cleans), trash, dishes, teaches them things like how to skateboard, and play instruments, music theory. He teaches and reinforces respect (we don't fight in front of them. All conversations heated or otherwise happen away from them, for example) and manners. Spelling. Math. Reading. I've worked a lot of nights during the course of our relationship(almost 9 years together). And he's been a fucking awesome dad through it all. Hell, he took on someone else's kid! (And yes, I had a kid at 16. You can take your judgment on that and shove it. I did what I thought was right, and he's a damn good kid) He respects my body. He understands how my body works. He takes the time time to listen when i explain anything about my body, be it function or just what im feeling, and will often times help me find answers when im having troubles with my body. He listens to my cues in the bedroom. If I want sex, and he wants sex, then we have sex. If he wants sex and I don't, then we don't. If I do and he doesn't, then we don't. Nifty thing called bodily autonomy. Something we both very firmly believe in. No. My husband is not perfect. He has his pitfalls. But so do I. And we work together to find answers. Sometimes I give 90% and he only gives 10%. Sometimes, it's 50/50. Sometimes, he gives 90, and I only give 10. Yes. I was pissed and hot-headed when I posted a rant about how he was behaving. I love him endlessly. And he loves me just the same. We've been to hell and back together. We always come out stronger on the other side of it all. Update/edit to address some common comments. 1) I have no intentions of leaving him. Yes, he sucks sometimes, but it's not enough of the time to justify leaving. He's my everything. We are typically a really good team with the kids. We just don't always see eye to eye on everything. And I think that's pretty normal. 2) he sits outside to unwind for so long most nights because he works 10+ hours a day, then comes home to an overpacked house. I take the baby to bed, and my unwinding is my snuggles with him. Which I love. And wouldn't give those up for the world 3) we have 12 people because my parents want us to save and buy. My sister was out living with her partner, but they lost their house due to some seriously stupid situations that we told her not to get into to begin with. I've posted about that whole situation previously. 4)he handles all other bodily fluids/excretion fine. Vomit is one that has always been problematic for him. But he's improved with it a lot over the years(kids will do that). Enough that I knew he could handle it. Their stomachs only hold so much before it becomes just dry heaves and bile. 5) he went to have his coffee when I got home, I sat with the baby in my arms and the 6 year old sleeping (mostly) on the living room floor. I didn't go to bed til 2 am. when my joints had just had enough and I needed to lay down(i had just spent 8 and a half hours doing a lot of physical work. And I'd been out of the house since 1130 am. I got home at 10 pm). I took the baby to bed with me. 3 of the kids in the house ended up sleeping in the living room, and he stayed with them there. My youngest two kids got hit with a stomach bug tonight while I was at work doing a major, necessary project. If I had left work, I would have been handling sick kids while he sat in his car, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and playing games on his phone or switch. Knowing this, I refused to leave work and finished my job for the night. We are currently a 12-person household. And I have a hard time believing that with 4 other adults with him, he couldn't handle it. He didn't want or need help. He wanted to just pass it off to me so he could hide out and not deal with it. He knows my frustrations with his hours on end spent in his car avoiding everything. He refuses to change it. So I refuse to put my job on the line for his incompetence. I'm probably an asshole for this. But tonight, I just don't care. I just got a promotion on Monday. I'm not putting this position on the line just because he doesn't wanna do the hard parts of parenting. He's now refusing to even look at me and is currently in his car while I hold a baby who wants a bottle but won't keep it down. I'm not asking anyone for help. Because this is parenting, and I can deal. submitted by /u/Storms_Wife to r/TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

I don't mean "not a murderer" in the legal sense; that's already been decided. I mean that him killing Huber and Rosenbaum can't reasonably be called "murder" even if you ignore the ruling. In short, he's not OJ. My full view is: Self-defense is a right, and that includes self-defense with deadly force if you have reason to believe someone is an immediate threat to your or someone else's life or limb. Using necessary deadly force in the act of defending one's life definitionally precludes it from being called murder. Rittenhouse was chased and attacked by Joseph Rosenbaum, who earlier that day threatened to kill any of a group of people that Rittenhouse was in if he'd caught them alone, and though Rittenhouse did his best to escape, he was eventually cornered in a parking lot and had no better recourse than to use deadly force and shoot Rosenbaum. Huber and Grosskreutz, probably under the misapprehension that Rittenhouse was mass shooter, chose to chase and assault Rittenhouse. Rittenhouse again tried to escape by running towards some police cruisers, but tripped and was bashed in the head by Huber with a skateboard and by an unknown person (jump-kick man), followed by Grosskreutz pointing his own firearm at Rittenhouse. Given that Huber and Grosskreutz both presented deadly threats to Rittenhouse, he shot them both. I believe that given these details, Rittenhouse only acted in self defense and is therefore not a murderer. I've compiled a list of common arguments against Rittenhouse and my responses to them. Be aware that this is not me taking these arguments off the table, this is just to get my initial responses to them out of the way to save us all some time. 1."He crossed state lines with a gun" No he didn't. This was confirmed in the trial. 2."He traveled a long distance to be in Kenosha" He lived 20 minutes away and worked in that city before the pandemic hit. 3."It's illegal for a 17 year-old to carry a rifle in Wisconsin" No it isn't; not even the prosecution tried to argue this. 17 year-olds are allowed to open carry long-barreled rifles in Wisconsin. 4."He wasn't supposed to be there" Every US citizen is allowed to be in any public area in the US, barring specific legal restrictions on individuals (prison, restraining orders, etc). There was a curfew that night, however given that everyone involved was breaking the same curfew, I find that's a null point. Lastly, breaking curfew obviously doesn't remove one's right to defend their life with deadly force if it's necessary. 5."No one asked him to be there" See the prior response. 6."It was premeditated" I don't think it's likely that someone who intended to kill people would first run away from everyone he ended up killing until he was either cornered or on the ground and being hit in the head. Someone with premeditation to commit murder would probably just shoot people without much hesitation. 7."Self defense can't be used as a excuse if you provoked the altercation with illegal actions" The only crime Rittenhouse unquestionably committed was breaking curfew. But because every person in the riot was committing the same crime, it's not reasonable to claim that was what provoked the attack on Rittenhouse. And to whether Huber and Grosskreutz had reason to believe Rittenhouse was a murderer and therefore that was their provocation, well, whether Rittenhouse committed illegal homicide is the subject of this post to begin with. 8."He shouldn't have used deadly force to fight off his assailants" I don't believe the tools you use to defend your life should depend on whether you think you can beat your attacker in a fistfight. It's not reasonable to have expected Rittenhouse to do a tale-of-the-tape in his head while being chased by a violent belligerent. And I hope we can all agree that most people couldn't fend off a group of three with their hands and feet. 9."He should have aimed for their legs/arms/hands" Aiming for extremities with a gun is an unwise prospect, as any firearms expert will tell you. While Rittenhouse did miraculously manage to hit one of his assailants in the arm without killing him, it's not reasonable to expect that kind of precision when someone is lunging at you from 2 feet away or when you're on the ground and just got hit twice in the head. 10."Having a firearm proves an intent to use it" Merely having a gun does not, nor has it ever, been considered intent to commit murder. And if it were, Grosskreutz, one of the men he shot, would be charged with a crime as well. 11."Going into a riot armed with a gun means he was a willing combatant" A person being in a town during a riot while armed is not, nor has it ever been, an excuse to assault that person, nor has it ever meant they aren't allowed to use deadly force to defend themself. Further, many people were open-carrying AR-15s or similar rifles that night, including many of the BLM protesters. None of them were singled out and assaulted, as far as anyone knows. 12."Only one of the men he shot had a gun" Being unarmed doesn't mean you don't have the ability to kill or injure. And a skateboard is a heavy blunt object, which kill more people per year than long-barreled rifles do. 13."Huber and Grosskreutz were just trying to subdue a person they thought was dangerous" I don't know of any judge, lawyer, or police officer who would encourage a civilian to be a vigilante and pursue a person they believed was dangerous, much less while they were running away from the civilian and towards the police. What they would encourage you to do is to escape from the dangerous person and contact the police, and then only fight if other options were impossible, which is exactly what Rittenhouse had done. 14."He should have turned himself in to the police" He did; immediately after the incident he went to a police cruiser with his hands raised and they brushed him off, and later he turned himself in at a police station. 15."He once hit a girl" If Rittenhouse once hitting a girl who was fighting another girl means his life is essentially forfeit from then on, then so does threatening one's grandmother with a knife and raping minors, crimes that Huber and Rosenbaum committed, respectively. 16."He should have stayed to stabilize the people he shot" It's not really possible to provide medical assistance when you have a mob chasing you. Also, I doubt he had the tools necessary to treat gunshot wounds in that Amazon first-aid kit he had. The wisest course of action in that case was to inform the nearest police officer, which Kyle had attempted to do before being chased by a mob. 17."He should have stayed home" Thanks, Captain Hindsight. 18."He should have just let the mob attack him" If you're not willing to use this same logic for anyone who's ever used deadly force to stop an assailant, then I don't believe it applies here either. We should not expect people to just hope that assailants will just rough them up a bit instead of killing or seriously injuring them. 19."He was a racist kid who wanted to play Rambo" Even if all of that were true, that still doesn't take away one's right to defend their life. 20."Even though he's not a murderer, he still did dumb things." Ok, but that's not an argument against my view. submitted by /u/ChampionOfBaiting to r/changemyview [link] [comments]

I only casually browse reddit and created an account just to ask this. I truly don’t know why it’s become such a sticking point. I (28F) have two nieces (8 & 5) from my sister (38F). They’re my only family, but I’ve never been super close to my sister or our mom (63F), so I’m not super close to the kids. Even less so when I moved 6.5 hours away a few years ago, and they live in the same city. I only see any of them during Christmas, a week over the summer, and one weekend trip close to the girls’ birthdays. They’re good kids, I love them and have fun with them, but we just aren’t that close. A month ago I asked my sister what the kids wanted for Christmas and she said she was finally relenting on their wish for tablets, but asked if I could get them because both her and mom are tech incompetent, while I’m a software engineer. So I said cool- got a tablet, headphones, and a large squishamallow for each of them. Got good deals all around, so I only spent $125 on each kid. The problem came up because I also saw one of those “pick a kid off the tree” charities, where you buy gifts for low income children. I had always wanted to participate, and since it’s the first year I’m not a broke grad student, I thought, why not! Picked a 10 year old girl who wanted books, science kits, and board games. And I don’t know if it’s just because I’m passionate about girls in STEM or also love reading and board games, but I found myself getting so excited to shop for this kid. Ended up getting like 20 presents- a mix of board games, science kits, clothes, a skateboard, brain puzzles, journaling kit, and a bookstore gift card. Took advantage of Thanksgiving deals, spent about $250 for $350 worth of presents. Well, we share an Amazon account and I guess they saw all the purchases, assumed it was for my nieces, and called to ask. When I explained, they were both so upset with me? They said that they aren’t able to get the kids much this year (both teachers), and if I had that kind of money, I should be spending it on family instead of some random kid I will never know. I hadn’t really thought about the fact that I don't actually know this kid, but retorted that my nieces have three adults buying them gifts, while this kid might only get presents from the charity. We argued in circles, they accused me of being cold / not really loving my nieces, and hung up in a huff. But have been pestering me about it over text for a week now. I feel like I’m missing some unspoken social cue and being punished for doing a nice thing?? -- Edit: Glad to know that I'm definitely not an ass in this situation, and that people are more concerned with the shared Amazon account. 😂 I'll definitely get my own after this. My mom got it years ago, and my sister and I only used it occasionally, until it just kinda grew into a family account. Same with Netflix and Disney, but those don't have my credit card info on them... I'll still be gifting the tablets to my nieces, they're blameless in this. It's just always something with my mom and sister. Thank you all for all the kind words! submitted by /u/Spiritual-Biscotti98 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

Source: https://www.bungie.net/en/News/Article/51229 This week at Bungie, we talk about pixels and the Kilts for Kids fundraising event! Welcome to your first April 2022 installment of the TWAB. Yes, you read that right! We’re already in the fourth month of the year. Time is flying by, and we can’t help but wonder why. Maybe it’s the fact that we shipped an expansion in February, or the weekly hunts for Deepsight weapons that we’ve been embarking on. In any case, Destiny 2 keeps going strong. Gambit Labs went live earlier this week. Invasion Swap has been getting us some great anecdotal feedback for Mote-dunking and invasion strategies, and we’re excited to see the data and feedback as it comes in. We did have a small hiccup on Tuesday where the Pinnacle reward for playing three matches was not appearing, but the team quickly issued a server-side fix to get you your just rewards. Paired with double Gambit rep, it’s a great week to complete some Seasonal Challenges for Bright Dust and earn some nice Gambit-themed rewards. Image Linkimgur Grandmaster Nightfalls have also returned, bringing our most challenging strike content back into the fold. We’ve got a slight clarification on some patch notes back from launch dealing with Acute Burns. In Destiny 2 Update 4.0.0.1, it was incorrectly noted that these burns would not be present in Grandmaster difficulty. Acute Burns are intentional and replace the unique strike modifiers (smaller burns plus extra knockback or splash damage). The new Seasonal modifiers (invisible enemies, etc.) are not included in Grandmasters. We have updated our patch notes page to reflect. With that said, we highly recommend using some elemental damage resist mods on your chest pieces as you buildcraft for the difficulty. Looking to next week, Iron Banner returns. While we’re planning a larger TWAB to cover upcoming changes, our one piece of advice to you this week is to spend your Iron Banner tokens, complete your Iron Banner quest, and redeem your Iron Banner bounties. We have some updates to Saladin and how he’ll be dishing out rewards, which naturally leads to the retirement of Iron Banner tokens and bounties. You have two Iron Banner weeks left to spend these tokens for rewards, including next week, so make sure to plan some time in the Tower to turn them in before the end of the final Iron Banner of the Season. Oh, and a small update from the team: we're looking to prevent the abilities bounty for our final Iron Banners before next Season. We’ve heard (and felt) the feedback that it could be a bit time consuming, so we’re shifting to focus on objective and weapon bounties for the remainder of the Season. Happy hunting! So, what else is going on this week? We’ll be celebrating the upcoming Kilts for Kids fundraiser and having a quick “story time” about a wonderful community event that occurred last weekend. Kilts for Kids Year after year, the Bungie Foundation participates in numerous charity initiatives to raise funds for people in need. While we host our own streams and charity drives, once a year we dive back into our favorite kilts to drive for some wonderful goals in the name of support for children. We have some awesome incentives lined up, so read on for more! Bungie Foundation: Kilts for Kids, our annual fundraiser that supports Seattle Ronald McDonald House (RMHC) is going 11 years strong! We bring you our usual suspects: Christine, Mark, and Forrest. After two years of stay-at-home orders, the crew was excited to take advantage of a rare sunny spring day in Seattle and don their kilts together. Image Linkimgur Throughout the pandemic, RMHC continued to provide exceptional care, safety, and community for so many families facing serious illness and long hospital stays. Help us achieve our $77,777 goal by heading to the RMHC Donation Page and casting your votes for Team Bungie. Each vote is worth $10 and every $30 donated will pay for a family to stay at the House for one night. In addition to helping kids and families facing illness, we also have some awesome donation incentives*! Image Linkimgur $50: Receive the Cerisian Lenses emblem: Unique codes will be sent to all $50+ donors via email on or before May 6, 2022. $100: The prize above, plus a postcard digitally signed by our Kilts for Kids team and mailed to you. $250: All prizes above, plus a digital copy of a new and unique piece of artwork made by Mark Flieg himself. $500: All prizes above, plus a physical print of Mark’s exclusive art shipped to you. $1,000: All the prizes above, plus a studio tour of Bungie’s brand-new headquarters. Our new HQ will be ready in late October of 2022, so we will be scheduling tours towards the end of the year and early 2023. Bring up to two guests (all travel and accommodation are the responsibility of the donor and their guests). No secrets will be revealed. Bungie employees have the right to refuse answers to any questions. Rewards will *not** be automatically redeemed, as we must receive donor data from RMHC before reward distribution. An email will be sent to donors at the end of the event, no later than Friday, May 6 with details on prize redemption. Some prizes will be delivered later than this date. Thank you for bringing hope, smiles, and comfort to kids in need by participating in this fun annual tradition. We can’t wait to share the impact of your support with all of you! Pixel by Pixel, Place by r/Place Last weekend was one to remember. It started small with the placement of a pixel. Within minutes, it grew to four days of community, memes, art, Ace of Spades, and a raid boss that couldn’t stop moving their legs. If you don’t frequently visit Reddit, a wonderful weekend event kicked off where any user in the world could place a pixel on a board to start creating small (or large) pieces of art. This wonderland of expression has appeared only a few times in previous years, going by the name of r/place. While your individual efforts could yield success for a short while, this place has become a home for Reddit communities (or communities in general) to rally their members to secure a place on the board. Now, it’s not as simple as placing a pixel and calling it done. Participants could override a given pixel placement at any time (on a five-minute cooldown) to “take over” spots on the board, or simply bring some chaos to the conversation. This leads to a few things: intense community competitions between millions of different people from given message boards, communities, or even countries, all seeking to claim some place space. This also results in wonderfully positive moments when communities create alliances with each other, helping one another to defend their artwork as the weekend raged on. Through the weekend, two Destiny specific Reddit communities, r/DTG and r/Destiny2, led the charge in securing a spot on the board to represent the Destiny community. Through Discord chats, text messages, forum posts, and multiple other means of communication, the community effectively locked down the “Destiny 2 spot” through all four days. This wasn’t just a simple tricorn, and I’m still blown away by the coordination between hundreds (to thousands) of participants to execute on the art below: Image Linkimgur To celebrate their efforts and the alliances they made with other communities in gaming (and non-gaming communities), the following emblem is now available for redemption at www.bungie.net/7/en/Codes/Redeem. Crushed Gamma Emblem code: D97-YCX-7JK Image Linkimgur Cheers to all who contributed over the weekend, and thanks for yet another year of fond memories to look back on whenever we reminisce about Telesto and its resiliency. PLAYER SUPPORT REPORT Make Shaxx proud. Image Linkimgur With the news we shared last week, some of you are imagining a day when you’ll reach Unbroken. With the help of PvP-centric Guardians around the world, your imagination may someday become reality! Our Player Support team has a quick update below on known issues. This is their report. Known Issues List | Help Forums | Bungie Help Twitter UNBROKEN SEAL RETIREMENT The Unbroken Seal and title will be retired with the launch of Season 19, and will be no longer available to earn. Season 16 is the last chance for players to begin making progress on associated Triumphs in order to earn the Seal, including reaching Glory Rank: Legend in three different Seasons. Players who earn the Seal prior to its retirement will still be able to equip the title and associated gilding. VOW OF THE DISCIPLE: THE CLEAVER EMBLEM AND TRIUMPH We are currently working to grant The Cleaver emblem to players who completed the Vow of the Disciple raid during the contest mode extension. Players who qualified for the emblem can expect to receive it during the week of April 19. KNOWN ISSUES While we continue investigating various known issues, here is a list of the latest issues that were reported to us in our #Help Forum: The Summoner Auto Rifle Trials reputation reward does not have a Masterwork slot. Legendary PsiOps does not correctly advertise weekly Pinnacle rewards. For a full list of emergent issues in Destiny 2, players can review our Known Issues article. Players who observe other issues should report them to our #Help forum. Somebody, Please, Put Baby in the Corner Image Linkimgur Sam: Happy TWABsday, Guardians! Is it just me or has this week felt like it's taken forever and also flown by? Either way, we hope your week was super rad and we have a super fun movie we think you will really get a kick out of, an incredible 8-bit track, and can someone go check on the Child? They seem to be bullying a few Guardians again. Movie of the Week: Give and Take Give and Take Video Link Movie of the Week: The First Disciple 8-Bit Video Link Movie of the Week - BONUS: Child of the Old Gods be like... ▶️Child of the Old Gods be like...#destiny2 #MOTW @A_dmg04 @DirtyEffinHippy pic.twitter.com/wUWUN9SsTX — Time (@StadiaTime) April 6, 2022 Don’t Let Those Meme Dreams Be Dreams Image Linkimgur Hippy: Listen, OK, I’m going to keep it real right now and say life is freaking hard and sometimes, it’s easy to take it too seriously or to miss out on the beautiful parts of it. Because of that, we’re mixing meme madness with some truly spectacular art. Plus, we heard you liked chaos, so as a b-b-b-bonus round, we’re also throwing in an excellent representation of Titan awesomeness by one artist that had the gall, nay – the audacity – to be talented as all heck. They also managed to rear up those daydreams of a fully Exotic’d-out (that’s a word) Guardian! Not a Titan main? That's cool, this artist also has other classes represented in a similar style, so peep out their account below! Without further ado, let’s art! Art of the Week: Guess Who Just Got Played! Let's play a game of "Guess Who Just Got Played?" Special thanks to @AstrocyteH for this fabulous idea.#Destiny2 #Destiny2Art #Destiny2Fanart pic.twitter.com/HZ8QAqehde — Zennore (@ZennoreC) April 4, 2022 Art of the Week: Elemental Warlocks, Skateboard Edition Elemental Warlocks 4x skate decks, 8.25x32"/21x81cm each.#Destiny2 #Destiny2Art #warlock #painting #ArtoftheWeek @A_dmg04 @Cozmo23 @DirtyEffinHippy pic.twitter.com/4vFJwl1N1N — irrezolut (@irrezolut) April 6, 2022 Art of the Week – BONUS: Exotic Titans Go Brrr And just because I got distracted, here’s another version of the Titan bois. #destiny2art pic.twitter.com/cfepemhFqr — Pherian (@PherianArt) April 3, 2022 Time For Some Raids... or Trials? Thanks for stopping by for another TWAB. If you ran through the steps in the TWAB last week and made sure you are signed up for Bungie emails, you're likely receiving a Mechs vs Monsters poll right... now! Good luck to both #TeamMechs and #TeamMonsters for this year. Make sure to get your votes in before April 13. Team Monsters Image Linkimgur Team Mechs Image Linkimgur After you've gotten your vote cast, hop in to Destiny 2 for some fun. This weekend’s looking great for solo players seeking some Trials loot, as Freelance kicks off tomorrow at reset. If you’re looking for a little Wrath to add to your arsenal, it’ll be a fun weekend to jump in. If you're looking for a more team oriented endgame experience, why not hop in to some Raids with friends? Maybe help a Blueberry or two to their first victory. Looking to next TWAB, Master Vow of the Disciple is just around the corner, starting on April 19 We’ll be spending some time getting you prepared. Speaking of raids, tune in next Thursday for some fun news concerning an upcoming rotator of sorts in Season 17. Cheers, dmg04 submitted by /u/DTG_Bot to r/DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]

My son Alex 16 hates school. He hates his classmates. He's not a fan of his teachers, and he doesn't find any joy there. I get it. School is kinda a bummer. His grades are phenomenal for how he feels about school. He's a B to C average student and has a pretty good GPA. He doesn't plan on going to college and plans on going to Trade School and eventually opening his own Skateboard shop (he's already started working on this and is doing good work). One of his teachers Mr. "G" recently touched base with me about Alex and how he doesn't feel Alex is applying himself and how I must want him to do better and push harder. I asked if Alex was failing and simply put he's not. In any class. I told him that Alex is a happy kid at home, gets along with his stepmom and I. Loves his dogs, his baby sisters and is well rounded. He just doesn't like school and isn't gonna go above and beyond for something he isn't committed to. Mr. G asked if that's really an acceptable lifestyle for him and I told him outright that my sons home life being good matters more than how well he decides to do in school. In the most teacherlike way he told me I'm failing Alex and that this type of mentality is gonna ruin his future. Of course Alex's mom was informed of this and agrees that because Alex is with me full time I need to prioritize his school life or else I'm failing him. Am I though? INFO: Alex has ADHD (he's medicated) , he has friends just not many in school (they don't share the same classes). His GPA is 2.8-2.9 He, gets MOSTLY Bs , and at worst Cs. He's not some loser dropout, he shows up, does the work, does the homework. He doesn't do office hours or extra credit (the reason his teacher believes he's not applying himself). He's not flunking, he's just average. I don't know why Reddit thinks anything lower than a 4.0 means you're a failure. This isn't even his entire high-school career GPA, this is just THIS year. FINAL EDIT: I'm leaving this post for a bit so I don't get defensive and hopefully by the time i get back I'll have a verdict. But what I do wanna say as my final reasoning behind all this is. I WANT my son to have dreams. I want him to believe in those dreams and pursue them. I want him to have a chance at pursuing this before he gives up. I want him to put his heart into his dreams and his own happiness. My parents forced me to go to college for 6 years and I was miserable and in debt. If I can help my son escape that path I want to, but if it's going to hurt my son I'll accept that I must change my parenting. •••for the love of all that is good *TEACHER ••• submitted by /u/OldmanGus76 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

A popular question often asked to NBA players is “if you weren’t in the NBA what would you be doing?” Well that made me think: which NBA players are the RELATIVE bests at other sports in comparison to their peers? And could they play professionally? Of note: I only picked from ACTIVE players. Sorry, no Duncan (swimming), Nash (soccer) etc. I’ll start with the 3 other “Big 4” sports: Football: LeBron James. Who else? I feel strongly that position-for-position there would not be a better NFL player in the NBA than LeBron James playing tight end. He would be Antonio Gates on roids. And I would have loved to see it. Baseball: Pat Connaughton. Dude is actually a baseball player. Orioles had his rights and played in the minors before choosing to go back to college and play basketball. He had a 96 mph fastball. Hockey: Jonas Jerebko. He loves hockey, grew up in cold ass Sweden, and practiced with the Red Wings before. I was surprised since he’s pretty damn tall but I tried finding another player with more hockey background and couldn’t. And yes, I looked at all the Canadian players. Now onto the rest: Soccer/Football/Futbol: Kyrie Irving. In all seriousness, this was the one I had the most trouble with. There have been a bunch of NBA players we KNEW had soccer skills (Nash, Kobe, etc.) but they’re all retired now. I thought of choosing maybe one of the international players (Ricky Rubio, Raul Neto, etc.) because they must have grown up alongside soccer players and even though they didn’t end up playing it professionally, must have some skills. But I’ll go with Kyrie because of his speed and handles. I know his handles are with a basketball but if he dedicated himself I think he could have some serious soccer handles as well. It’s all in the hand/leg/eye coordination. He also has the right size/body for soccer as well. Most guys in the NBA are just too tall for that sport. Boxing: Iman Shumpert. I wanted to pick David West because he actually boxes and has sparred with pros. But he’s retired now so I picked Shump. He’s been training in boxing for years, relying on it for conditioning. I’ve seen some videos of him boxing and he’s got technical ability. He also has great footwork. MMA: James Johnson. He actually has an undefeated 7-0 amateur MMA record. His fights are online. He actually has the technical skill and wouldn’t rely on his size and power alone. I’m confident he would beat every other NBA player’s ass. Tennis: Gordon Hayward. His whole family played tennis. Tennis was this dude’s life and before he hit his growth spurt that got him to 6’8, he seriously considered going all in on a professional tennis career. He won a bunch of tournaments growing up. It's in his blood and who knows how good he'd be if he never set down the racket. Golf: Stephen Curry. You see him golfing with everyone from Obama to Tony Romo. Technically, he’s already a pro. Steph is definitely the best golfer in the league. He’s even played in several professional tournaments. I think professional golf is a serious route Steph will consider once he's done with basketball. That hand eye coordination never goes away. Volleyball: Joel Embiid. By now everyone knows Joel wanted to be a pro Volleyball player before discovering basketball. He didn’t even start playing basketball until 15 because Volleyball was his thing. Plus, at 7 feet, volleyball is one of the few other sports where that kind of crazy height is still an advantage. Skateboarding: Dennis Schroder. Skating was apparently this dude’s life before he discovered basketball. There’s videos of him online doing a bunch of tricks and he’s only 6’1 so it’s a good size for a skater. Australian Football: Patty Mills. He actually played Australian Football at a high level and wanted to be a rugby player growing up. His cousin is pro rugby player Edrick Lee. Rugby: Ben Simmons. He actually played for a junior club with supposedly great results. I wanted to choose Steven Adams but despite his legendary strength and the fact that he’s a Kiwi, his height and lack of speed would be too great of a disadvantage in my opinion. Ben takes it. Cricket: Klay Thompson. I couldn’t find an NBA player with high-level of cricket skills. Dellavedova supposedly played it recreationally as a kid, as a lot of Aussie kids do I assume. But I think the best cricket player would have to be Klay Thompson. That hand-eye coordination and power he’d have would carry him. Plus, doesn’t Klay just look like he’d be good at cricket if he tried? I heard he’s been good at every sport he’s ever tried. What a national treasure. Swimming: Kevin Durant. This was a shot in the dark. I don’t know what active NBA player is best at swimming. Kris Humphries used to race Michael Phelps as a kid. We all know Duncan had amazing potential. Unfortunately they’re both retired. I chose KD because he’s lanky but with good muscle definition like a swimmer should be. I think in the water his height is an advantage. Maybe KD could have been an Olympic gold medalist swimmer in another reality? Are there any more you can think of? submitted by /u/BigBaldPurpleTitan to r/nba [link] [comments]

Just to give a little background before I get into my tips: I started writing in 2016 and jumped into the process with self-publishing. Since then, I have been writing on a pace of probably one 45,000 to 65,000 word book every 5 to 6 weeks. I've also been fortunate enough to carve out a really successful career in the process. My first four books made me a combined $7000 or so in the sci-fi romance genre. I jumped ship to Contemporary romance with a new pen after that and my debut novel made about $15,000. The next 3 only combined to make about $5000, but then my 5th hit the top 40 and made over $50,000. Since then my books have grossed over 1.5 million in 3 years and about 400k of that was spent on advertising and other expenses related to launches. Last year, I signed with a traditional publisher and I've written two 75k books for them so far and I'm currently working on the 3rd. Throughout all of this, I feel like I've learned a lot about the practical aspects of getting my butt in the chair to write, and I wanted to share whatever I can on here. Also, if I overshared above, I apologize. I know it can and probably does come off as really boastful to talk about earnings like that, but 1) I always wished authors were more open about their incomes when I was looking into starting it prior to 2016 and 2) I thought it was inspirational rather than annoying to hear about numbers. So my tips... This is probably the most important, so I wanted to start with it. Like a ton of people on here, I spent lots and lots of time before I ever published just writing and re-writing the first chapters of a fantasy book. It was my big, important book that I wanted to be so amazing it would get immediately optioned for movies and theme parks. I'm kidding (mostly), but you know what I mean. So tip number one is to consider putting your big, special idea on the shelf and waiting until you're actually ready to write it. Writing is like everything else: you have to practice to get good at it. But it's also unique in a way I think a lot of people forget. You won't get good at writing novels by writing the first four chapters of 100 novels. You get good at writing novels by writing them and finishing them. Imagine the most important thing in the world to you was to go to the X games and make your way through a routine of complicated skateboard tricks. Would you (ignoring the obvious faults in this scenario) just walk up with your skateboard and try all of those tricks for the first time on live TV? Obviously not. You'd practice at home, and you wouldn't just practice the first four tricks you have to do. In the same way, I think so many others could benefit from doing what I did and setting aside the big important book. Promise yourself you'll come back to it and do it the justice it deserves when you're ready, but admit that you may not be ready. I honestly shudder when I think now about how far from prepared I was to write the book I wanted to write even three years ago. I'm also not saying it will take *you* three years to be ready. You may only need to write one other book or two, but for me, I'm still not ready. And once you start writing books, you'll get a better feeling for where you are and where you need to go to do it properly. Sub tip... Consider even setting your genre aside if you have to. Write in a genre you think you can absolutely crush. Who cares if you're horribly wrong (like I was). The important thing is that you'll walk into it feeling like it's practice. It's not the final match. It's not the big day that decides the rest of your life. You're just putting in 90% effort and it's still going to be better than the average stuff out there in this genre. Tell yourself that at first and let yourself believe it for as long as it takes to get a book out. Once the book is out, you may find out that you were wrong. Okay, maybe this whole writing books thing is harder than it looks and you went astray in a few areas. But hey, that wasn't so bad. Maybe you'll just do it again and learn from your mistakes. And maybe you keep doing that until you feel like the mistakes are getting smaller and you're getting more talented. Then one day you'll look back and realize how much you've grown. You'll realize you can walk up to that big idea you had now and feel like you're ready to crush it. ​ 2) Self-discipline is king. Regardless of the path you go about writing, if you stick with it for any stretch of time you'll pretty quickly find out what kind of person you are. Is it easy for you to sit down and pump out 5,000 words a day? Great. Screw you. For most of us, it's hard. ​ You'll need to get to know yourself better than most people in the workforce ever do. What does it take to motivate you? What gets your butt in the chair? Unfortunately for me, the answer in my case is stress. I can't tell you how many times I've had a deadline 4 weeks away and spent the first week doing virtually nothing. I spend the 2nd week realizing I need to get my ass in gear but still only getting to maybe 15k words. Then at some point during week 3, I inevitably pull up a calendar and do the dreaded math. How many words a day do I need to write, starting now, to finish on time. Anything more than needing 5k a day 5 days a week is panic mode, and that's where I thrive. It's miserable, but I've often wrote 25 or even 35k words in 2-3 days near the end of a deadline just because I have no other choice. Basically, my self-discipline is terrible, and I'm constantly paying the price for that in stress levels. On the other hand, I have found some tricks that work for me on those books where it doesn't get so desperate. Since I know not a lot of you are lucky enough to be full time yet, I want to preface by saying one thing: it's so easy to believe that you could write so much more and so much better if you only had more time. Time feels like this sparkly unicorn that is always just barely out of reach, but that's all it is. Yes, you do need some bare minimum amount of time to physically put your fingers on the keys, but you don't need as much as you want to think you do. You think you need 8 hours, especially if you're not writing at all and you're telling yourself that to push back the guilt of not writing. You think that the only way it could possibly be done is with 8 hours. But what if I told you as a full time writer, I literally spend 1-2 hours per day writing? I go to Panera in the morning at about 7:00 a.m. I get my bagel and coffee within 5 minutes, eat them in 5-10 minutes, and then I write until about 8:30. I drive to the gym and workout from 9 to 10. I go home, shower, cook lunch, eat it, watch a show for a little, etc... At about 12:30 I usually write for another 30 minutes or an hour. Those two chunks of writing typically get me about 2500-3500 words. if I'm crunched for time, I take a break at 1:30 and try to write again at 2 or 2:30, then I cut my work day off at 3. But let's say you're working full time and your goal is to write a 150k word fantasy novel. You have to first bind yourself to one rule: no going backwards. You don't get to re-read from chapter one and start editing. Your mantra has to be "I can fix that in editing." If the chapter you just wrote sucks or you feel like you're slogging through it, slog on. You'll fix it when you edit. You're running a marathon bit by bit up a steep mountain, and if you stop moving forward, you risk losing your footing and tumbling all the way to the very bottom of the mountain, and who knows if you'll ever get the energy to start again. Once you've settled on the no-going-back rule, you figure out how much time you can make to write. Let's say it's 1 hour a day. And let's say you can write 1000-1500 words in that hour. Then you will finish your book in 100 to 150 days, or just barely over 3 months to just over 4 months. Think about that. The impossible thing you've maybe been considering doing forever could be done before Halloween if you started today. If you're really driven, you can try to bump up the word count on the weekends. Maybe you can write 2-3 hours on weekends and get 3000 words every saturday and sunday. Now you can be done even faster. And if you can ever find some extra words on a week day, even faster still. If a 150k book isn't your goal, you can finish a 50k book in 33 days. One month and some change. And I apologize if all of this is already obvious to you, but I've found so many people who think of writing a book as this nearly impassable mountain of a goal. When you break it up into manageable chunks and when you're honest with yourself about how much time you have, it's really not. When I was teaching and writing at the same time, I also had a 3 month-old baby at home. I woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual and wrote when I first got to work every day. I wrote after I finished my lunch and during planning periods when I didn't have to plan. I wrote at night and managed to get 5000 words a day while working full time with a kid at home. The thing is you don't even have to push it that hard. Just find one hour per day and you can make it happen so much faster than you'd think. ​ 3) You've heard this all the time, but seriously, listen to the market. This is something I learned in romance and I might have never learned in fantasy. People I know who write romance and love the genre have so much harder of a time with this than me. I came into romance with a practical viewpoint that it was the most profitable self publishing market and maybe the most available for me to get into. I'd literally never read a romance book before I started reading with the intent of writing in 2016. So when it came to catering my stories to what I believed readers wanted, there was no problem. I didn't have a personal stake in what I wrote for the most part, so I was able to relentlessly write to market. So whether you're writing fantasy or sci fi or anything else, you've got to remember that you can't just do whatever you want with your story and reasonably expect people to want to read it. On one hand, you've got to make sure it's marketable *before* you write it. Don't just jump in and write a Wheel of Time clone and *then* ask yourself if there's a market for that. Do some digging, first. Go on Amazon and dive into the fantasy subcategories. Find out what books are topping the charts and which authors are finding success. If you have time, read or skim the top books, too. This is all stuff you should do before you start writing or even plotting. The more work you do prior to researching, the more unwilling and unable to adapt and change based on your findings you become. 4) Software like Cold Turkey Writer is useful if you get distracted easily (like me). I stumbled upon this in the comments of a thread recently and have found it to be really effective for me. The best part is that it's basically free. The paid version is like $3 and it just unlocks some non-necessary but kind of quality of life stuff like being able to copy and paste (which also lets you cheat the system, so you may be better off not allowing it anyway) and also rain/coffee shop soundtracks (which you can just open up prior to opening the software anyway. It lets you set a goal for yourself based either on words added to the document or time spent locked in and then it maximizes on your screen and doesn't let you alt tab or look at anything else until you reach your goal. You can set it to lock you in until you hit 3000 words, and unless you just want to ruin the spirit of the whole thing by restarting your computer, you're really locked in to hitting your goal before you do anything else. if that's not your style, I know authors who buy simple typing things... I forget what they are called, but they are basically just strictly word processors that don't let you do anything else. Whatever your method, consider finding ways to control your distractions, because if you get in the habit of letting yourself browse the internet or watch a movie between writing sessions, I can tell you from experience that you'll begin to condition yourself into expecting and needing that break. You'll also find those breaks getting longer and longer and cutting into your productivity. It's also harder to start writing again if you take too long of a break in my experience. I think that's the majority of the general advice I had to share. I really just enjoy talking about writing stuff, which is why I make posts like this. So if you have any questions/comments, please chime in and I'll respond to all of them (probably in more depth than you want). **I will be away from my computer/the post till tomorrow morning, but I'll get back to anyone who comments then, if not tonight** submitted by /u/romancepubber to r/writing [link] [comments]

EDIT: Holy crap, Batman! I was not prepared for this kind of response. I’ve been sharing my work stories with friends and family on Facebook and they told me I should put all of it in one place and/or do a blog. I’m not super savvy with all the options, but I had a Reddit account years ago so this was my go-to. I attempted to put it all as one post, but I guess there are character limits. I have probably two more parts that I’ll get out in the coming week or so. Your feedback is amazing and super encouraging! It will definitely keep a big smile on my face well past 3am, when I’m driving back to the garage. And hey, thanks for the Reddit goodies!! I’m gonna have to research what Reddit gold is. I’ve only read about it on others’ posts: “Thanks for the gold!” So yeah, THANKS FOR THE GOLD!! I’m blushing over here. Y’all are fantastic!! Have a great day. 12/29/18 I just finished my first week driving on my own for TriMet. A few things that happened this week: -Naked man at a bus stop. -Man found sleeping in parked bus for over 5 hours. (Thankfully not my “oops”) -A fight on my bus--young woman bullying a man with a disability that turned into a shoving match. -A car cut me off and stopped in traffic so that passengers could board my bus. -Santa Claus got arrested on Christmas Eve on the Tillicum Bridge. -Drunk, disheveled man hopped on my bus and then got right off, double flipped me off and yelled obscenities to whoever was listening. -A grown man yelled terrible things at his elderly mother, as his children cowered next to her and had to say a sad goodbye before leaving with their dad. -A drunk 20 yr old woman called me fat and middle aged. -A newly 21 yr old man was celebrating his first week of legal drinking by sampling margaritas around town and going by bus. He was funny and sweet. -I was thanked and told that I am a very patient young lady by a very sweet older couple. -A young man came up to me while on break and thanked me for being awesome. -I’ve been told three times, "Thank you for your service," while on my way to or from work. Kinda awkward, but nice I guess. I've met some very wonderful, sweet Portlanders from all backgrounds and lifestyles. I love this job!! It's gotta be one of the best people-watching jobs out there. 2/28/2019 Driving the bus through Troutdale last night, I stopped the proper 15 feet back from a crosswalk to let two pedestrians cross the road. They wave at me, I wave back. They just stand there. I sit there confused for a moment. Then I recognize the big, goofy smile of one of my regulars. He’s standing at a bus stop that I rarely stop at, that also just happens to be at a cross walk, probably wondering why I stopped so far back and didn’t open the door. We had a good chuckle about it. This is my last week on my routes. I’m going to miss the familiar faces and familiar roads. Next week I go full time, sometimes working 10+ hours and driving past 3am. I’m a little nervous about longer hours, new routes, and late, late nights. But I’ll get to see the sunset on the mountain from new angles, I’ll find more familiar, smiling faces, and I’ll get to explore just a little bit more of this awesome city that we live in. I love my job! 3/5/2018 During a TiMet’s bus operator’s probation, there are 6 check rides. A check ride is basically when a training supervisor hops on your bus unscheduled and rides with you for a portion of your shift. They make sure that you are practicing the company’s policies as well as continuing to develop the good habits that are taught in training. It can be kind of intimidating, but it’s also almost a comfort to have as a new driver—if something comes up, you have a resource right there on your bus. It’s a great opportunity to get feedback and ask questions. The reviews I’ve gotten in the past have been things like: -Work on your braking. Make smoother stops. -Use better judgement when making stops - I had stopped at a bus stop where the back door would have opened into a tree. -Check your mirrors more, especially the right side when pulling into a stop. -Don’t close the door when someone is standing at the fare box. -Don’t be so rude to your customers. (Joking) So I had a check ride yesterday while I was driving the 4. It was the second time I’ve driven that route and a lot of drivers don’t like it for various reasons. There was a construction reroute that I had somehow missed in the paperwork, so I was super lucky to have a training supervisor on my bus to help me out. Anyway, I didn’t get any constructive feedback this week!! He gave me the paperwork with a big smile. I’m not sure if he just does this once for each of his students to help us build confidence, but either way it sure worked!! “Good Job” has never felt so good!! Especially since last night ended up being super stressful and the first time that I almost cried...almost. I love my job, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes I wish I could just hide from everyone. 3/20/2019 This week in bus driving: 1 high five 1 hug 1 ambulance 1 fire truck 1 attempted pinch for not wearing green 1 adult temper tantrum in a cross walk 1 “I missed my stop because I’m drunk and was playing video games” 2 familiar faces from my bartending days (one came with that hug) 2 “YOU MISSED MY STOP!” Oops. 3 ‘Thank you’s accompanied by pats on my shoulder 3 people I couldn’t wait for and had to pass up (running for the bus after I had already pulled out and there was no safe place for me to stop) 3 crying babies 4 “You’re a good driver.” 4 cars illegally parked at bus stops, not allowing me to pull to the sidewalk 6 times I waited for a straggler to cross the street so they could catch my bus 8 Uber or Lyft drivers being jerks in the bus mall 10 people annoyed because I didn’t pull to the sidewalk and instead stopped in the street 12 honks of my horn 16 free tickets given out 20+ motorists who should probably be riding the bus instead of driving 30+ high pitched hiccups from a drunk guy, making his girlfriend giggle each time 100s of “thank you’s”, “good morning’s” and “goodnight’s” 3/24/19 Well, I cried at work for the first time tonight. Imagine, if you will, that you’re driving a bus in downtown Portland around 11pm on a Saturday night. Folks are tipsy as they exit all the venues and head home. As you pass a group of people on the sidewalk, you hear a loud yell, followed by some kind of noise to the side of your bus. You look in the right mirror and see a skateboard falling to the ground right by your duals at the back of the bus, but you can’t see a person. This is my biggest fear. I can’t imagine hurting someone. It’s a tough reality of the job, though. In training they put us in a simulator set up for us to fail. In one version that I did, I hit a cyclist and I could feel the seat move to simulate my duals running them over. It was chilling. They start the day off with safety training including showing awful footage of people being killed by bus driver mistakes, and then send us off to road training. I think everyone was terrified to get behind the wheel on those days. I THOUGHT I HIT SOMEONE!! All of my passengers went to look out the right-side mirrors, as we were all also curious about what just happened. So I put the bus in park and stepped out. Things are a little hazy at this point, because adrenaline was in full gear. I approached a group of folks on the sidewalk and asked them what had happened, as I couldn’t see anything around the bus. A lady responded with “Oh, some kid was skateboarding and misjudged the sidewalk. His skateboard flew into the road. I bet it gave that bus driver a good scare!” She didn’t realize I was the operator. Haha. Then two teenagers came up with skateboards in their arms and apologized. I told them they need to be more careful and are lucky one of them isn’t wrapped up in my duals. As I got back on the bus, one of my customers asked “So, do we need to call a mortician?” We were all pretty shaken up and I think everyone let out a stressed chuckle. A few blocks down the road I got to the end of my line with 6 minutes before I had to turn around and head back to Gresham. I finally felt the full impact of this “what if?” when got out of my seat. I almost dropped my phone while calling Dispatch because I was shaking so hard. I explained what had happened and that I didn’t think I could get my shit together in 6 minutes. I was sure that I couldn’t drive safely in my current condition. Dispatch is awesome. They told me to not worry about my pullout time and they were sending a supervisor out to “check for damage to the bus”. They immediately sent out a bus to start my route for me and I had two supervisors show up. Of course there was no damage. They were there to joke with me about running over skateboards (not skateboarders!) in their own careers as operators and get me to relax a bit. One of the supervisors called me kiddo. After about 15 minutes or so, I was good to go and sent out to catch up with my replacement down the road. Right now I’m at home and still amped up on adrenaline. Probably one of the most scary moments of my life. I’m so thankful that nobody was hurt, and so thankful for how hard my company works for its operators. No buses were late. I wasn’t on the road when I didn’t feel safe driving. With the exception of the customers on my bus at the time of the incident, no one would have noticed a change of service. It’s pretty awesome. Oh, and I have awesome coworkers. A bus behind me saw what had happened and when he caught up to me at the end of the line he offered a hug and encouraged me to call dispatch for some extra time. He also told me where it happened, since I couldn’t remember for the stupid report I had to fill out. 3/25/19 A guy tonight at a transit center was yelling at everyone getting on my bus. “It’s not rocket science! Get on the f-ing bus!” Ugh. Of course he is the last one to hop on and ask for a free ride to the next stop. I wanted to say “no” so badly, but instead I said “If you leave your negative energy on the curb, you got it!” “Yes ma’am. No negative energy. I promise.” When he got off he said, “I love you, big sister.” This guy is a mess and every operator has the right to say “nope!” but sometimes it’s just easier to say “yes” and give someone a little grace for a moment. Also I’m scared of saying “no” in a lot of situations. You never know how it could escalate, or how much time it could waste when your schedule is by the second. 4/1/19 Had to switch busses today. Puddle of pee and undies in a seat, as well as pee running along the floor. The sad part of that is that it was a little girl who had an accident. I complimented her on her pretty princess dress on her way onto the bus. She walked off with it soaking wet as her mom whispered to me that there was a mess. :( 4/3/19 Worst day at work so far. I’ve shared all the happy, sunshiny parts of my job, but tonight was not one of those days. My schedule for this specific run does not allow enough time for evening traffic, so even when I show up and start working before I’m getting paid for it, I start my first run late. Even if it’s just by 2 minutes (tonight was over 10), it ends up cascading into later and later as the route goes on. Once you get about 4-5 minutes late, you start picking up your follower’s passengers and things really start to drag. In training, they are really great at reminding us that we are paid by the minute, so not to fret when we are late. However all those minutes cut into our break time. Today I worked a good 6 hours with less than 15 minutes total of breaks. I finally got another 10 minutes and now I have a 15 minute break. Not many of the low seniority runs have breaks long enough to use the bathroom and eat a meal or take a walk. If we need extra time, we can always let dispatch know, but that just makes us late on our next run and borrows time from the next break that is already too short. A short list of everything else tonight: -Watched a semi truck run a red and hit another semi (no bad damage). -Guy rode my bus a full round trip and smelled worse than anything I could ever imagine. It’s been an hour and I still can’t get the smell out of the bus. People were dry heaving and I think I will have to burn my clothes when I get home. -Same guy took 15 minutes to get off my bus, taking all of my break. I had to walk him back to a bench, catching him every time he almost fell down. -Found a half bottle of Brokers just now. Pretty sure that was his. -Had about 20 fare evaders who all took WAY to much time to board and get off. I swear it’s the ones that don’t pay that eat up all of the driver’s time. It’s sooooo frustrating! Ugh. I’m happy it’s my Friday. I have 2 hours left and then I get to drive my little Jetta home. Yay! 4/6/19 There’s this teenager who rides my bus on Saturdays. He dresses punk-alternative and always looks like he’s ready to fight. Never said “hi” back or even looked at me every time I greeted him. A couple weeks ago I had a close call when a Bronco cut me off. I had a full bus and stopped just hard enough for everyone to notice. Down the line, when the kid got off he said “Hey, good job. That guy was a dick!” I nodded in agreement and said goodbye. Today he got on my bus and greeted me with a warm smile. Yay! Making allies over common enemies. 4/7/19 I can’t stop laughing about what happened last night. A guy got on my bus with an open beer in his pocket. I asked him if that was beer and he told me it was an empty can. “Okay sir, but if I see you drinking from it we’ll have to talk again.” “Yes, ma’am.” A couple stops down the road he gets off and another man from the middle of the bus approaches to tell me that that guy had spilled his beer on the seat. Of course he spilled his pocket beer! I jokingly asked, “Are you sure it’s just beer?!” So this guy slaps his hand into the seat puddle and smells it. “Yep!” 4/9/19 I had two men on my bus tonight who yelled and talked to themselves, in two very different and wonderful ways. The first man was on my first trip of the day. I pulled up at Lombard TC and as soon as I opened the door he was right there and yelled angrily “NO!!” right in my face. I still greeted him with a smile and thanked him when he showed me his pass. As he entered, he continued to scold whoever was listening. “This is not social hour!! What’s so funny?! Shut the fuck up!” There were two gabbing teenagers who gave him a sideways look, smiled at each other and continued with their conversation. He was just another one of those loud street folk, not a real threat. He continued to yell things every now and then. At one point he had a somewhat normal conversation with someone who boarded for only a couple stops. When we got close to his stop, he stood up and angrily proclaimed “OKAY!” and pulled the cord. As I was pulling up to his stop he half yelled, half sang “Go your own waaaaaaay!” A little ray of sunshine had just shown through his perceived anger and aggression. It was kinda beautiful. I was stuck with that Fleetwood Mac song in my head for the rest of my shift. The second man was on my last trip of the night. He was a young, professionally dressed, handsome man who greeted me with a smile and his fare. He had large headphones on but I still said my usual “Hey there, thank you!” At some point in his bus commute he started to have physical and vocal tics, making guttural noises and jabbing his arms out in front of him. I’ve known enough people with Tourette’s to safely assume that this is what he was displaying. For the next several stops until he got to his destination, he would respond to every one of my “thank you”s with a loud, “MUCH APPRECIATED!!” Just so you can understand this better, I say “thank you” to each person as they enter by bus, as well as when they exit. Often it goes unacknowledged, even without eye contact or a shrug, but I still say it with a smile....for my own sanity. For these five or so stops I made, it tickled me to have a loud, happy echo to each of my “thank you”s. I felt acknowledged and it felt good. 4/10/19 Another loooooong Tuesday at work. On my very first run, I pulled up to a stop and did a perfect job of aligning my back passenger door right up to a utility pole. It’s hard to find a reference point in the mirror for that back door. I try to avoid bushes and puddles, and some stops are front door only stops. This particular stop was one of those weird ones and I failed miserably. As a passenger tried to exit, the back door opened right onto the damn pole and the rubber flaps just stuck there, open. I tried turning the bus off and turning the air on and off, as well as the door switch in every possible combination. I had about a dozen passengers excited to get home from work, who tried to make some suggestions. Two men were trying to muscle the doors closed as one lady suggested that I should pull up about 6 inches to remedy the problem. I had to ask the men to stop, as I knew that wouldn’t work and I didn’t want to be responsible for any damage. I also had to explain to the kind lady that as a safely measure, the buses are designed to not budge whenever a door is open. Sooooo....I had to call dispatch. While we were standing on the sidewalk and watching 82nd back up behind the bus, a lady explained to me that she was on her way to meet her niece, who was always late. She had lectured this 15 year old earlier in the day about how she had to be on time today, no matter what. Of course now this woman was going to be the late one to the rendezvous and was not happy about it at all. I told her to pass on my apologies. That was quickly answered with, “She’s a teenager. She will hold this against me no matter what!” We both kinda chuckled about it. She asked me how long I had been driving. I said I was new, and she gave me that all-knowing sideways look. The mechanic showed up in about 8 minutes. He looked at the issue at hand and then started up my bus, triggering the doors to close on their own. Ugh. Of course it was the one thing that I did not try. We all gave him a round of applause as we got back on the road about 10 minutes late, with me feeling a bit embarrassed. I heard the lady quietly tell a few of the other passengers that I was new. Unfortunately, this can be considered an “accident” by Trimet standards, so I had to fill out a company report AND a DMV accident report. I find this kinda silly. There was no damage, and I was only about 8 minutes late by the time I finished my run. Trimet, however, takes everything very seriously (as they should!), and I may get a bad mark on my record. Whomp whomp. Exciting things always seem to happen on my first and last trips. My last trip of the night I had a sleeper who, when I got to the end of my line, I had to wake up. He was no older than 19 and looked like he had been living on the streets for some time. He was pale and glassy-eyed. I’m guessing he has been using whatever mind-numbing drugs have been available to him. I told him our location and asked him where he was headed. He said he wanted to get downtown. My bus didn’t go downtown and I think he knew this. I watched him throughout the ride and I saw that he had been awake about 10 minutes before, when we were clearly in Oregon City. After confirming that he had no phone and no one to call from my phone, I called dispatch and got permission to drop him in Milwaukie on my way back to the garage. That was as close to a safe place for him to wait a couple of hours until the early morning buses came along. He moved up from the back seat into a seat right behind me and fell fast asleep again. When we got to Milwaukie I had to jostle him awake. I gave him a day ticket for Wednesday so he could at least get to his destination or ride the buses for shelter. I gave him a packet of crackers that I hadn’t yet opened. He didn’t say a word to me, but eagerly grabbed these items and then held out his skinny, pale hand and gave me a very weak handshake before he disappeared into the chilly night. I had another operator tell me later that they would have just left him at the end of the line. It made no difference where he was if he didn’t have a place to go. And who knows? Maybe it didn’t really matter. But I did the best that I could with the resources that I was allowed to use. 4/14/19 A cute story from last night. I got stuck in the holding pattern with a Max through downtown and over the Tilikum Bridge, which set me about 6 minutes late by the end, as I had to stop beside the max about 6 times before it moved along and I could take my turn. This happens quite often through the bus mall, but rarely does it happen for so much of the route. So I got stuck alongside the Max and watching the same faces go by stop after stop. After about the third stop, I see this huge grin of recognition from one of the Max passengers. He’s sitting next to who I assume is his wife, and is surprised to see that yes, this is the same bus that has stopped right next them at the last two stops. I wave back. At the next stop, I could see that he had been waiting to pass as he gave another eager wave. He started nudging his wife who was on her phone and had no interest in this silly moment. The waves and smiles escalated into two handed waves and weird looks from passengers around him. By the last stop, his greeting resembled an old friend who was elated to see you for the first time in years. Then off he and his wife went to wherever they were headed. I love these micro human interactions. They brighten an otherwise mundane drag. And boy does it just drag sometimes. 4/15/19 Bus broke down tonight. I called dispatch and got a guy who sounded like he had a mouth full of bubble gum and talked way too fast. Eventually I was able to get him to repeat what he said enough times to finally figure out what to do, which was a battery reset. Problem is, the battery is in different places, depending on the series of bus. So I looked stupid for the next several minutes, opening up every darn compartment with a station agent on the other line until I found it....with a big sticker that said “BATTERY”. Ugh. I probably had a good 20 people on board, two of whom used wheelchairs and were totally stuck without the ramp. No problem though. Thankfully no one was in a hurry to get to work or make a connection. It was just about midnight, so it was a quiet, sleepy crowd with a few funny remarks. One guy hollered out, “Lets all order grub hub. I’m hungry!” That got an overwhelming laugh as another guy decided to start playing death metal on his phone. Once we got up and running there was an applause and the music was turned off. I joked that I this was when they should all ask for their money back. But no one complained and one lady said she’s calling TriMet tomorrow to let them know I should get a gold star. I guess we get little certificates when someone calls in to say something nice about us. So I got that going for me. 4/15/19 I forgot my snacks today which led to a very serious thought tonight: “If I rearend that Dominoes delivery guy, will he let me eat the pizza while we wait for the police?” 4/22/19 Worst customer EVER! Not because he was mean or scary or smelly, but because he had zero bus etiquette whatsoever!! A list of things he did: -He took way too long to board. -He didn’t have his fare ready and spent a whole minute looking for it. -He then finally confessed to not having fare, asking for a free ride. -He took forever to get seated and decided to switch seats at least 3 times. -He ended up taking up 6 seats!! His butt in two, his feet (shoes off and nasty socks) up on two others and then his suitcase in another seat isle blocking two seats. I confronted him about his feet on the seat. Unfortunately I didn’t notice this until a while down the road, and I didn’t notice his suitcase until much later when someone mentioned it. My passenger mirror was broken because I was in an old bus (the precious one had broken down earlier in the day) and everything is broken in the old busses. -He pulled the stop signal for the wrong stop. -When he finally got off the bus, he walked right in front of it, while I had a green. By the time I was clear to go, the light changed. The one and only thing he did that I was thankful for, was tell me at the beginning of the line whereabouts he wanted to get off so I could wake him up if he fell asleep. A shining example of what not to do on public transit! 4/24/19 BOLO (be on the lookout) out for lost teen who was last on my bus. I am totally beating myself up over letting him go off into the night on 82nd by himself. He was a bit confused and lost. He said he thought it was the right stop, and left on foot after I told him that if it wasn’t, to head back to the same spot and catch the bus behind me. 30 minutes later dispatch comes through with a BOLO on him. It’s been an hour and still he hasn’t been found. I hope he is found safe. I feel like I fucked up majorly. I thought about calling dispatch and seeing if they could get someone out to just drive him home, but at this hour there are sometimes only two supervisors out and about in the area. Next time I need to trust my gut. Super worried about this sweet kid. Update: I’m guessing his parents called TriMet. It sounds like he didn’t have a phone and it was his first time taking the bus. He ended up walking home quite a long way. I guess he has dyslexia so he got the wrong bus and the wrong street number. I just called dispatch to follow up and he made it home safely. Whew! I was so worried. submitted by /u/BridgeCityBus to r/Portland [link] [comments]

15 Year Old Billy Wilkerson has SICK handles. Best PG in De Moines, Iowa. 2019. Okay Google, I get it. You know a lot about me. Now either tell me where I want to eat or shut the hell up. We live in the Youtube generation. We're more focused on keeping the camera rolling than helping out when our best friend bails off of a skateboard going 40 mph down a concrete hill. But the endless online library of videos created more than a job for 5 snarky television hosts. For basketball fans, it lent credence to what was previously legend. Youtube is a playground for fans of a sport in which aesthetics define a player's legacy. But not only can we now look into the past, but we can see the future. This is the mixtape era. Backbreaking crossovers. High flying dunks. Blocks sent into the 5th row. The young up and coming players have a new outlet to showcase their skills, the highest of profile recruits garnering views in the millions. These montages can create legend of their own, and the newest crop of NBA stars are the first about which you can brag- "Man, I was watching his mixtape before anybody." But just which of today's current NBA players' mixtape is fire? This is The High School Mixtape Power Rankings. A variety of factors will be included in the criteria for the overall mixtape crown. Things like handles, dunks, shooting, blocks, swagger and music will be considered, and all players must currently be in the NBA (Sorry Aquille Carr). 10. Jerryd Bayless The number ten mixtape on the countdown is also the shortest. Just over a minute. Which is actually coincidental, because one minute is exactly how long it takes for your eyes to notify your brain that you're watching JERRYD BAYLESS do this kind of stuff. The, clearly then shorter, 6'3'' Bayless skies almost unnaturally for dunk contest dunks, and keeps defenders off balance. Pinning blocks and doing everything with a mid nineties mean mug, despite graduating in 2007. Without a lick of passing or transition in sight, Jerryd chose to stick to the mixtape fundamentals of jamming lobs, shooting off the dribble, and dunking on white guys. Music Grade: B. Snare and a choir with some gunshot samples? Aite. 9. Demar DeRozan Next up, Raptors shooting guard Demar DeRozan with a mixtape straight outta Compton High School. The #5 recruit in the nation's online showcase begins with a tastefully edited introduction that may or may not contain a gang sign or two. The four and a half minute video is split into two sections. The first, is DeRozan mercilessly throwing down one handed tomahawks on kids over and over and over. Act I would also feature a good number of putbacks and huge jams off of ally-oops. But this is where it gets weird. Next appears a title screen. "But you think... ...it's all about the dunks?" You know it's not all about the dunks when they hit you with the double ellipsis. It's about the layups. The part deux shows off Demar's handle, but he doesn't break too many ankles. Besides a few regular three pointers and a hate-crime of a block, DeRozan literally just switched from dunks to lay-ins. It wouldn't be a Demar highlight without a deep two though. Old habits die hard. Music Grade: D. 3 different songs. Set a tone Demar. 8. Aaron Gordon Welcome to the HD era. Aaron Gordon is truly from the golden era of Youtube mixtapes. Its got transitions, its got a thumbnail graphic. It has Aaron Gordon throwing down huge dunks and blocking the living shit out of people en route to a McDonald's All-America MVP. Aaron Gordon wants you to know he can eastbay. Really badly. He squeezed nine through the legs dunks into the 3:39 senior year highlight. But unlike Derozan's dunkfest, Gordon does something Derozan didn't even think about in his mixtape. He passed the ball. You know the cutaway means that kid missed. At least half the video you'll get to enjoy Gordon absolutely dusting white kids with quick crossovers, while another small portion is reserved to Aaron's volleyball highlights. Gordon overtakes Derozan on editing alone, though the display of basketball proficiency doesn't hurt either. Music Grade: C+. Repetitive strings over a hip hop beat. Standard issue. 7. Shabazz Muhammad Shabazz Muhammad comes in at 7 on the list, despite only shooting like two jumpshots the entire mixtape. That is not without reason. Shabazz Muhammad posterizes someone literally every play of the video. Not like... ESPN "You got dunked near but we need highlights" posterized. Like... I am lying about my age and I'm going to make you look like a child.... posterized. I mean WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LITTLE GUY. In almost any other situation I would have docked plenty of points for the repetition, but I couldn't BELIEVE how many times Muhammad would take off looking to absolutely embarrass anyone in his way. His handle wasn't anything special, as I said he only took a few jumpers. But watching this tape is like watching those videos where a kid getting bullied stands up for himself, only he never stands up for himself and lives the rest of his life afraid. That's what Shabazz Muhammad was doing to dudes. Music Grade: B-. Had a little Carmina Burana thing going on. Short video length helped. 6. Tony Wroten Now I know Tony Wroten isn't the biggest name on this list, but is the kind of guy MADE for the mixtape. His passing game has always been less about getting the ball to the right place, and more about making the defender look like a fucking idiot. With Wroten, you get two players. You get NBA PG Tony Wroten, a big left handed sparkplug, and you get Youtube Tony Wroten, who would be more comfortable if there was an emcee on the floor. Wroten spends the entire mixtape displaying straight up witchcraft with the ball, with a slick handle and passes showing off the kind of coordination that let you know Tony Wroten could pat his head and rub his tummy at the same time. The 6'5'' Wroten doesn't have the top flight athleticism that we've seen thus far, but he'd make a better lockpick than a battering ram. Music Grade: A. Now we're talkin'. Lil' soundbite intro, big rap bass with a guitar riff. 5. Brandon Jennings Welcome to the top five. Brandon Jennings was a star recruit in high school, and opting to play overseas rather than in college, he left the legacy of young BJ right here in the US of A. Jennings had a crack streetball handle, and it wasn't something he had in the back pocket, it was his identity. Silky smooth getting to the basket, defenders had no idea what to expect when the ball was in Brandon Jennings' hands. He looked the other way on dishes like a bad roommate, and could finish windmill dunks home with startling athleticism. Jennings left a highlight reel packed with threes off the dribble. His shooting touch with a release just a fraction late must have left defenders feeling like they missed the last train home by 30 seconds. Jennings smooth skills and scoring mentality was all a part of the package for a guy whose whole mixtape is a heat check. Music Grade: C-. Two basic tracks on a loop over a nearly 5 minute tape. Kind of annoying. 4. Kyrie Irving Kyrie Irving has benefitted more than almost anyone from the emergence of the mixtape in popular media. After only playing 11 games at Duke as a freshman, Irving still managed to go number one overall to the Cavaliers. Nothing keeps up buzz like the on-demand ability to watch a 17 year old dice kids with a dirty handle, elite finishing, and a shot from deep. Irving was perfect for the "New NBA". He could score from inside and out, break down defenders with slippery moves. He would display the same ability to make split second alterations in the air that would later earn Kyrie a 99 layup in NBA 2k (which I still think is bullshit). Vision and passing skills coupled with Irving being the only player to feature midrange jumpers in his mix made mixtape Kyrie the most fun Kyrie we may ever see. Duke's mandatory lobotomies tend to kill this kind of flash. Music Grade: B. Simple, a little repetitive, but crowd noise comes in and out to break it up. 3. Andrew Wiggins This mixtape. This will always be my favorite. This highlight reel gave me the same feeling I had after first seeing There Will Be Blood. Instant classic is thrown around a lot, but this was truly on Mount Rushmore day one. Every single clip further drops your jaw, yet rather than wow you with his consistency like Shabazz Muhammad, it was the fact that Wiggins seemed to pull a new game changing skill every play. Shooting, putbacks, transition. Didn't see any passing, but that was good, because you didn't want to miss a second of this kid's scoring. He was fluid, quick, explosive. Powerful enough to throw down some of the greatest high school dunks you've ever seen one moment, but possessed the touch to put a floater to rest a split second later. A perfect basketball frame, that ran the floor with poise like a guard, meticulous footwork both inside and out, and did it all with effortless cocoa butter smooth athleticism. Oh, and did I mention he was even better on defense? Music Grade: D. Heard it too many times. 2. John Wall John Wall's basketball mixtape is like Teddy Roosevelt. Not the first, but early enough. Not the most technical, but proved itself an all time great. And most of all, it is ubiquitous with badass. Wall did everything we have seen in this list, put it in a blender and created an internet sensation. Ball handling, speed, vertical explosion, the NBA tools were obvious. 8.2 million people since 2009 have watched an 18 year old Wall shred defenses with unmatched point guard vision and the swagger of Miles Davis. Offensive creativity comes easily when you're the most athletic person you've ever met, but John Wall went lengths to wow audiences and stun opponents with his distribution and ability to get to the rack at will. So good you almost forget the fact that he only took a few short jumpers the whole video. But that catalytic athleticism did not go to waste on the defensive end either. Wall punished any shot within reach. He wasn't protecting the rim, it seemed more like he was avenging it. Music Grade: A-. Intense, bass hits match up with dunks. 1. Derrick Rose Finally we have Derrick Rose. The OG mixtape legend. Rose paved the way for guys like Wall and Wiggins to put on for more than a scouting video. I don't know what kind of miserable definition existed in 2007, but if anyone knows what Comedy Central ran during downtime before Tosh.0 let me know. Even through the hazy eyes of Cro Magnun man in 2007, it was clear Derrick Rose was not from this planet. This little tiny kid was bending gravity. Derrick Rose takes the top spot on the dunks in his mix alone. Throughout the top ten we saw boatloads of dunks a high school gym should never see, but never anything like this. He was turbo-charged, he was aggressive, and from the look on his face... he didn't seem to care a lick. Sure, he shot it, but what was the point? He had magnetic hands, a double jump, and was so crafty around the rim that it seemed to him no more difficult than arranging furniture. Just keep moving stuff around until it works. He was so athletically gifted, the physical tools seemed so out of place inside this little point guard who should honing his craft, not murdering the innocent. This was not like the effortless grace of John Wall, this was violent, combustive; an oxymoronic collision of refined and raw. If I had the power to stop time, I'd probably draw on my friends with sharpie or rob a bank or something. Derrick Rose used it to make the greatest basketball mixtape of all time. Music Grade: F. That shit was horrible. Some eurotrash rave shit. If RES fucked shit up. submitted by /u/ank1613 to r/nba [link] [comments]