Small Front Porch Ideas

... so that he could bounce ideas around." Hank raised an eyebrow. "... immediately. "Hole in the tire. Small, but deep." Hank crouched too, ... beneath the sedan. Then something small and low to the ground ... them suddenly exploded with light. Porch lamps came on one after ... them. Another house had a front door open and a man ..., and slid it into a small evidence bag. The seal clicked ...

... so that he could bounce ideas around." Hank raised an eyebrow. "... immediately. "Hole in the tire. Small, but deep." Hank crouched too, ... beneath the sedan. Then something small and low to the ground ... them suddenly exploded with light. Porch lamps came on one after ... them. Another house had a front door open and a man ..., and slid it into a small evidence bag. The seal clicked ...

... great. I live in a small subdivision out in the country ... tonight, but I have all ideas that I'm in for a ... outside to sit on my front porch at night . . . instead of hanging ...

...spent the drive back exchanging ideas for my bugs and ...off my backpack to another small swarm as the spiders ...the steps to the back porch. I only made it ...The newspaper, you're on the front page." She said which caused ...what was technically my front page news. There was only ... and Miss Militia in front of the PHQ if I ... my costume on the front page? Would I have been on the front page if I'd waited long...

...spent the drive back exchanging ideas for my bugs and ...off my backpack to another small swarm as the spiders ...the steps to the back porch. I only made it ...The newspaper, you're on the front page." She said which caused ...what was technically my front page news. There was only ... and Miss Militia in front of the PHQ if I ... my costume on the front page? Would I have been on the front page if I'd waited long...

...plan is for me. Any ideas, Miss Therapist?" I sat up.... Dodge City is a small town but a lot can ...was just the vehicle in front. Sheriff Short turned and entered ...green string once again in front of the sheriff. "Looks like ...made a turn onto a small road going nowhere. The view ...a dozen cars parked in front. The caller's house was a ... The resident turned on the porch light and confirmed to be ...

...plan is for me. Any ideas, Miss Therapist?" I sat up.... Dodge City is a small town but a lot can ...was just the vehicle in front. Sheriff Short turned and entered ...green string once again in front of the sheriff. "Looks like ...made a turn onto a small road going nowhere. The view ...a dozen cars parked in front. The caller's house was a ... The resident turned on the porch light and confirmed to be ...

... freaking skeleton strapped to his front of his red bodysuit. "Hey... skeleton strapped to the front of Will, but all he ... again, walking out in front of the abandoned factory and ...as I pulled out a small bag and tossed it onto ... to break through the front windshield was squirted in the ...necks. "Anyone got any bright ideas right about now?" I asked ...to fight on your guys front porch and all," I pointed out ...

...his place, he'd left a small bag, hesitantly I reached for ...for the hide. Salt, a small bag of salt to cure ...been able to assemble a small collection of tools along the ..., digging a well, furrowing a front garden, and improving the trail ...some shade for my impromptu porch. I had a couple of ...going to do. I'd start small, but I would expand as ... with crazy but interesting story ideas for me to write has ...

...landed her broom on the porch, her witch's hat slightly lopsided....She sat down on the porch, leaning back against the wood, ...red-hooded girl in the front row. With a flourish of ... a halt right in front of them. "OH MY GOSH!" ...yellow bow and a small, polished white crescent moon that ...I've got all sorts of ideas for it." "Give it here," ... tied-up guards. A single, small white feather drifting through the ...

...own wall of hedges using small bushes. Doable....but I ... our own flowerbeds. 5) Small fence gates. Not sure why.......quite often on people's front porches from the eaves in... and the little patio porch area I created and it...I wanted to create a small coffee cart area in the ... slightly, clustered together in small spaces, and do not have ... to add your own ideas or "frustrations" you've come across ...

... says as he apparates in front of them once more, startling... others say her name in front of him. The Shopkeeper also ... Let's start with you. The small, chatty one. He says as ... an ancient willow tree in front of a beautiful sunset. ICHO ... of all, she began getting ideas from your father. RUMI (V.O.) Ideas? CELINE (V.O.) Yes... spirit ash off the Dojo porch. Their three spirit weapons lie ...

... watched him in silence, a small flicker of amusement building in ... stepped out onto the snow-covered porch. A moment later, the door ... across the camera's view in small, gentle flakes. All was peaceful ... area of effect feels disproportionately small. Not to mention most of ... down at the notes in front of him. "I'll send the ... blank projector as concerns and ideas ran through her head. Then ...

... watched him in silence, a small flicker of amusement building in ... stepped out onto the snow-covered porch. A moment later, the door ... across the camera's view in small, gentle flakes. All was peaceful ... area of effect feels disproportionately small. Not to mention most of ... down at the notes in front of him. "I'll send the ... blank projector as concerns and ideas ran through her head. Then ...

... to start shit on their front porch. Instead, it would be a... the things I had some ideas for. Even before this training.... Anime had plenty of good ideas for training, after all, and... were no blockages, only some small eddies that were easily cleared... put some distance, summoning some small orbs of shredding wind. Her...

... fences, peeling letterboxes, and overgrown front gardens. Farther on, the road ... a darkened porch, neat curtains in the windows, and a little front garden where... is. An apple gives you ideas, not a full stomach. Just ... felt downright rude. "Just a small piece," Casey said at last ... a plate with pie in front of Casey, then nodded towards ... is." A few people in front of them gave quiet snorts. ...

...." I explained going over my ideas, of creating a fully separate... what to do next. "Any ideas on what mech type I ... Kori leapt up onto the porch swing and stared at me, ..., as I wandered around. A small Knight Mech, with a large ... licences I had hovering in front of me. The original Fantasia ... a Shielder she was. Small and cute, but armored like a knight, and ready to jump in front of her team to save...

...her lungs. On the wooden porch, Naruto was loudly arguing with... her mind began spinning with ideas on how to optimize the...of bone echoed through the small cell. Zabuza forcefully, brutally dislocated ...broken, useless arms around Haku's small shoulders, shielding him entirely from ...himself. He hadn't jumped in front of the blade to protect ...pouch and pulled out a small, unmarked scroll, tossing it into ...

... one would find on a front porch. Picked up several at local ... sold fake cameras. Some had small blinking LED light to make ... of down. Lots of creative ideas if you think about it.

... simple structure with a detailed front and a plain back. Use... Water adds movement and atmosphere. Ideas: Rivers under bridges Waterfalls using... Use repeating wooden beams for porch supports. Add barrels, crates, and... Structures Add: Shops Restaurants Bathrooms Small attractions Themed facades Use consistent ... large shapes instead of many small ones Mirroring structures Removing hidden ...

..., and things delve into a small routine of pure training. Sounds... try to come up with ideas, innovate, and really fight back... rating game. Sitting on the porch of the grand mansion, George ..., with her hands crossed in front of her. Looking like a ... in the total darkness in front of the metal table with ...

... it. She heard the front door open. Then she heard...TWICE. I stood on your porch like an idiot. Your dad... "coma" out loud in front of people who weren't Bruce ...going to do it in front of Callie and Katlyn not ..., alone in it." A small pause. "Also Callie's been calling ...stage. No scheduling yet. Just ideas. Just possibilities." She waved a ...saying anything about it, the small one that Alicia had bought ...

... it. She heard the front door open. Then she heard...TWICE. I stood on your porch like an idiot. Your dad... "coma" out loud in front of people who weren't Bruce ...going to do it in front of Callie and Katlyn not ..., alone in it." A small pause. "Also Callie's been calling ...stage. No scheduling yet. Just ideas. Just possibilities." She waved a ...saying anything about it, the small one that Alicia had bought ...

... Good Witch Azura book! "Tiny porch pirate!" It took a lot... upwards in a grinning grimace, small yellow eyes intent. "Perhaps you'll... being able to extrude a small but flexible amount of spider... turned around and sprayed the front door. Shortly thereafter, there was ... looked away. "Chrysalis...it's a front for a cult. It wasn't ... to more and more misanthropic ideas until they think everyone needs ...

i'm 31m. my sister is 27 and she has three kids, 8, 5, and 2. their dad is in and out (mostly out tbf), so for the last year, my sister has been treating me as a backup parent bc i work from home and (apparently) that means that i'm always available. it started small. "hey, george, can you watch them for an hour while i go to the store?". then it turned into: "hey, george, can they stay with you for the afternoon, while I run off to the salon?". then it became: "hey, george, there's this concert that I want to attend with my girls, can you please watch oevr the kids?" (you get the idea). and i said yes a lot, bci absolutely adore the little ones, and it felt harder to say "no" than just deal with it. then one saturday she dropped them off at 9 AM, texted me "luv u!!!!", and didn't come back until after the midnight, drunk. i had no car seats, no extra clothes, nothing for the toddler except half a sleeve of crackers she left on my counter. i told her more than once that i am not built for this. i don't hate the kids. i actually love them. that's part of why this got so bad. i always fed them, bathed them, got them to bed, made it work somehow. i think she saw that and decided i could just keep making it work forever. about two weeks ago i had a big work presentation in the morning. i told her the night before that i could not help her the next day. i reminded her again that morning. i was already stressed and trying to get ready for it. around 6 AM she called crying and said daycare wouldn't take the youngest and she only needed a couple hours. i told her no. not maybe, not later. just no. i couldn't do it. she came anyway. she left all three kids on my porch, knocked, and drove off before i even got to the door. so then i had three kids outside my place and no real option except to bring them in and deal with it. i missed the presentation. my boss tore into me and chewed me out for it and i got taken off a project i had been working on for months. that night i took the kids back and told her if she ever did that again, i was calling the police. in response, she just put this annoyed and disappointed look on and said something from the lines of: "alright, i heard you. i'll figure it out myself like i always do. won't make the mistake of asking you again". i was too tired to even argue. i just left. then i changed my locks because she had a spare key. the next day she came back with the kids again. when her key didn't work, i guess, she stood there for a brief minute and then decided to scratch up my front door with the key before leaving (way to go,sis). my neighbor even texted me asking what was going on and whether she should call the police. my sister is now completely avoiding me and ghosting me everywhere. idk man, i just feel tired and burnt-out. i feel like i kept helping until i couldn't anymore, and now I'm the asshole for finally putting a stop to it. aita? submitted by /u/kittyruins to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/AwkwardMom13 AITAH for being honest with another mom about why my daughter isn’t allowed to go to her friend’s house? Originally posted to r/AITAH TRIGGER WARNING: creepy behavior. social ostracism. accusations of classism, mentions predatory behavior Original Post Feb 10, 2026 I’m on a throwaway because my daughter uses my main for other subs. I really need an outside opinion because my family tell me I’m right but they also don’t have to deal with the awkwardness here. I have a daughter, “Elena”, who is 13. Elena has a friend called “Kennedy” who is new at school this year. Kennedy’s mom works in the school office (becomes kind of relevant later). So our house is kind of “The House”. Elena doesn’t have a big group of friends but as long as the kids can get their own snacks and not make noise anyone’s welcome. Because of this, Elena never really goes to anyone else’s house, all her friends come to us, we’ve even hosted her friend’s birthday sleepovers. A couple of weeks ago though, Elena asked if she could sleep over at Kennedy’s house as the next day was a family party and Kennedy had been allowed to invite a friend. I said sure. Again, her mom works in the school office, whenever she’s come to pick Kennedy up she’s been polite. I didn’t see an issue. But when I went to drop Elena off, my opinion changed. Kennedy’s stepdad is the one who answered the door, and I’m not kidding when I say I haven’t never felt so immediately disturbed by a person. I can’t even explain why. My stomach just lurched. I immediately felt like I needed to hold some kind of conversation with him so that I could at least get a better read on him. I made some small talk on the porch, during which he proceeded to open an alcoholic drink, and flirtatiously “not believe” I was old enough to have a teenage daughter (after asking me twice how old she was and telling me how similar we look). He also demanded in front of me that Kennedy change her clothes because she was wearing shorts…in her own house. Kennedy’s mom came home while I was on the porch which made me feel slightly better so I left but when I got home I told my husband he was going to pick Elena up this evening because she was not spending the night there. We made an excuse about a forgotten plan for the next day and fetched Elena before dinner. I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy or judges me for not letting her stay on no evidence. I grew up where if you had a feeling, you followed it. My husband agreed with me that Elena wouldn’t be going over there again. So last week, I was at school pick up and bumped into the mom of one of elena’s other friends, who I’m casual friends with (mom friends, basically). She mentioned she hadn’t seen Elena at Kennedy’s that Sunday at the party (Kennedy had invited this other girl to the Sunday party but not the sleepover). I said no, Elena hadn’t slept over. My friend asked if it was because of anything in particular and I was honest and said I just don’t want her going over there because the stepdad gives me the creeps. I told my friend about the interaction and she thanked me for telling her and said she’d probably do the same as me. I thought nothing more of it, it didn’t come up again. Except yesterday at school pick up Kennedy’s mom came outside and confronted me. She said another mom was now not letting her daughter come over because of “males in the house without the mother home” and that she knows it was my fault because I was the one who met her husband. She said she knows I lied to pick Elena up early. She accused me of being my a snob because Kennedy is at the school on free tuition (which she gets because her mom works there) and of judging her family based on where they live. None of that is true, but there was no convincing her. I guess I didn’t adequately defend myself because firstly I was in public and didn’t want a scene, and second because being a snob probably sounded better than “your husband seems predatory”. She then said that I was isolating Kennedy by poisoning the other mom. That, I’m not sure I can even say is untrue. But I would want another mom to tell me. You can do what you want with the information but if I had never met the stepdad and someone else felt as uncomfortable as I felt, I would want them to let me know. That’s why I told her. Because we’re all just trying to look out for our kids. But Kennedy’s mom seemed more upset than angry, and I get that this is embarrassing for her. I also know I don’t have any actual evidence that this man did anything. So now I feel like maybe I was out of line sharing my completely unfounded opinion with my friend. Am I? Do I the whole family an apology? RELEVANT COMMENTS Critical-Affect4762 Nta. Do you know one of the leading causes of violence at home for kids? Them living with a stepparent (and I'm a stepparent). Alcohol adds to that. Then add in his comments, gross. Her reaction and approach makes her seem kind of unhinged, too Ask yourself why feel bad if you help prevent a child being around this creep? The kids' safety matters, not adult feelings. But I'm more nuts than you, id not even leave my kid there until the evening. He says gross weird shit, "okay we actually have to go home now, we left the oven on." Why are being polite to creeps? That's why they creep I was an attractive kid and cannot tell you how many grown men constantly made gross comments. It became normal and always felt slimy OOP Yeah same. From age 14 I was getting approach by grown men asking me “for a light” and trying to strike up conversations with me. Awful. I let her stay because the mom was home, she had her phone, she was with her friend, and the girls were right there in the living room, had I said “yeah she’s not staying here come on” they both would have heard. But evening was a hard line for me. when told why didn't OOP talk to Kennedy's mom and tell another parent imstead No I didn’t go up to this woman I’ve met a couple of times and say “your husband seems like a creep”. She’s married to him, if she hasn’t already seen that behaviour, then why would she believe me based on “vibes”? I mentioned how I felt to my friend. I didn’t present it as fact. I don’t consider a genuine (from my perspective) concern to be gossiping. I didn’t think it was going to go any type of way, I didn’t think Kennedy’s mom would assume it was because I said something. When told not to judge a book by its cover and OOP was wrong (and some of down voted commenters made similar comments Yes, it would be. A man drinking while supervising children, calling me attractive and in that same breath saying my daughter looks just like me is in fact not okay with me no matter what car he drives or where he lives. Update March 9, 2026 (1 month later) So, the post blew up more than I was expecting. Thank you to everyone who shared their views, whether positive or negative. I’ve never been in a situation like this (I grew up in a city. After the age of 11/12 my parents didn’t know my friends’ parents, there weren’t dynamics to navigate or gossip), I handled it as best I could trying not to offend anyone. I still get messages asking for an update so here it is. First things first, for everyone wondering how Kennedy’s mom - who I’ll call “Sara” - knew it was her husband I had an issue with, I figured it out. After talking to my husband and getting an actual play by play of what happened when he went to pick Elena up that night, it’s clear that he implied we were not happy with how her husband had conducted himself. So it’s not that she automatically knew her husband was the issue. My husband did say that Sara looked like she knew she had an issue the second he showed up, so make of that what you will. I don’t want to believe any woman could know that there’s something not right about her husband and act the fool but time and time again that’s shown to be the case. Second, some people said my friend - who I’ll call “Amy” - had asked me about the sleepover because she also got weird vibes from the stepdad, and that was correct. She said Kennedy’s mom had been the one to answer the door at drop off, but when came to pick up she stepped out back while her daughter got her things and she saw the stepdad talking to one of the cousins, a teenage girl, and she was put off by his body language. She didn’t realise he was the stepdad until her daughter had told him Kennedy’s stepdad is a “weirdo” and described him making inappropriate jokes and demanding physical affection from his stepkids and their cousins. Amy said was sorry for throwing me under the bus but Sara had called her to talk about the girls working on a school project at their house and she had felt put on the spot. She admitted me also thinking things about the stepdad had made her trust her gut that it wasn’t a good idea for her daughter to go over there again. Amy also said she was going to make a group chat and send a message to the other parents in the group and tell them about her experience and asked if I would at least share mine to corroborate. I did think about that long and hard but ultimately I said yes. I didn’t share my “vibes”, just the facts about things that happened when I dropped Elena off, I didn’t even say we picked her up early. The fact is, if the truth makes a person look bad then that is what it is. Parents can decide for themselves, but I think it’s important that people have the information. I would want someone to put me in the loop if I were in their shoes. It didn’t end up as some major gossip session, every parent thanked us profusely for speaking up and said they’d take these things into consideration and we left it there. I think everyone understood the spirit in which it was meant. I did end up texting Sara and explaining the situation to her. I always text so I can have a record of what was said. I said I didn’t have an issue with where she lives, but her husband’s behaviour had made me uneasy about leaving my child there. Founded or not, those were my concerns as a mother which I figured she could understand. I can also understand that she would not agree with my assessment of the situation which is why I didn’t want to muddy the waters by making a big deal out of it. I reiterated that Kennedy is welcome at our house and she’s a lovely kid, and I hope she can understand my position. I also apologised for the misunderstanding. I expected a bit more of a dialogue but she just came back basically saying Kennedy wouldn’t be coming over anymore, she wasn’t comfortable with her daughter being in my care. I said I hoped she’d change her mind, Kennedy is always welcome, and left it. I wasn’t going to argue because I’m not sure if someone said that about my husband I’d let my kid go to their house, although my husband doesn’t behave like hers so it’s a non issue. Kennedy hasn’t come over since. Elena said they’re still friends and don’t blame each other for the drama (I’m so proud of my daughter for her maturity through this whole thing) but obviously it’s a bit tougher when the girls come over here on weekends and Kennedy can’t come. The girls had a sleepover this weekend (since when are young girls so into car racing that they’re holding watch parties?), and Elena and I made Kennedy a party favour bag to take to school so she can feel part of it. If I’m brutally honest, as great as I think it is that the girls are being mature and not making a big deal about it to Kennedy, I’m not sure it will work in the long term. I hope to god I’m wrong and maybe I’m not giving the girls enough credit, but it just seems like there’s a lot that Kennedy can’t participate in now. I feel terrible that this has happened and Kennedy’s social life has been one of the consequences. But I don’t see this as being avoidable. We don’t trust each other with our kids, it’s as simple and as complicated as that. And through all this, I admit I STILL don’t know if the stepdad is dodgy. My husband looked into him, no records of anything to do with kids. He might just be a chauvinist pig who is of the “where’s my hug” variety. There’s a whole range of people between pleasant and dangerous, I don’t claim to know where he falls. But I feel better knowing that I don’t have to face a mother I’ve known for years thinking I could have stopped something happening to her kid and didn’t. And maybe I do have to make peace with a gossipy b-word but that as least I can live with. And that’s where we’re at. I think that’s everything but if I’ve missed anything, do let me know. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to comment and help me not feel so crazy. As always, I don’t know if my way of doing things wi end up being the Right Way. Maybe there isn’t one. We’re all just trying to take care of our kids doing the best we can. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/AwkwardMom13 posting in r/AITAH Concluded as per OOP 1 update - Long Original - 10th February 2026 Update - 9th March 2026 ​ AITAH for being honest with another mom about why my daughter isn’t allowed to go to her friend’s house? ​ I really need an outside opinion because my family tell me I’m right but they also don’t have to deal with the awkwardness here. I have a daughter, “Elena”, who is 13. Elena has a friend called “Kennedy” who is new at school this year. Kennedy’s mom works in the school office (becomes kind of relevant later). So our house is kind of “The House”. Elena doesn’t have a big group of friends but as long as the kids can get their own snacks and not make noise anyone’s welcome. Because of this, Elena never really goes to anyone else’s house, all her friends come to us, we’ve even hosted her friend’s birthday sleepovers. A couple of weeks ago though, Elena asked if she could sleep over at Kennedy’s house as the next day was a family party and Kennedy had been allowed to invite a friend. I said sure. Again, her mom works in the school office, whenever she’s come to pick Kennedy up she’s been polite. I didn’t see an issue. But when I went to drop Elena off, my opinion changed. Kennedy’s stepdad is the one who answered the door, and I’m not kidding when I say I haven’t never felt so immediately disturbed by a person. I can’t even explain why. My stomach just lurched. I immediately felt like I needed to hold some kind of conversation with him so that I could at least get a better read on him. I made some small talk on the porch, during which he proceeded to open an alcoholic drink, and flirtatiously “not believe” I was old enough to have a teenage daughter (after asking me twice how old she was and telling me how similar we look). He also demanded in front of me that Kennedy change her clothes because she was wearing shorts…in her own house. Kennedy’s mom came home while I was on the porch which made me feel slightly better so I left but when I got home I told my husband he was going to pick Elena up this evening because she was not spending the night there. We made an excuse about a forgotten plan for the next day and fetched Elena before dinner. I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m crazy or judges me for not letting her stay on no evidence. I grew up where if you had a feeling, you followed it. My husband agreed with me that Elena wouldn’t be going over there again. So last week, I was at school pick up and bumped into the mom of one of elena’s other friends, who I’m casual friends with (mom friends, basically). She mentioned she hadn’t seen Elena at Kennedy’s that Sunday at the party (Kennedy had invited this other girl to the Sunday party but not the sleepover). I said no, Elena hadn’t slept over. My friend asked if it was because of anything in particular and I was honest and said I just don’t want her going over there because the stepdad gives me the creeps. I told my friend about the interaction and she thanked me for telling her and said she’d probably do the same as me. I thought nothing more of it, it didn’t come up again. Except yesterday at school pick up Kennedy’s mom came outside and confronted me. She said another mom was now not letting her daughter come over because of “males in the house without the mother home” and that she knows it was my fault because I was the one who met her husband. She said she knows I lied to pick Elena up early. She accused me of being my a snob because Kennedy is at the school on free tuition (which she gets because her mom works there) and of judging her family based on where they live. None of that is true, but there was no convincing her. I guess I didn’t adequately defend myself because firstly I was in public and didn’t want a scene, and second because being a snob probably sounded better than “your husband seems predatory”. She then said that I was isolating Kennedy by poisoning the other mom. That, I’m not sure I can even say is untrue. But I would want another mom to tell me. You can do what you want with the information but if I had never met the stepdad and someone else felt as uncomfortable as I felt, I would want them to let me know. That’s why I told her. Because we’re all just trying to look out for our kids. But Kennedy’s mom seemed more upset than angry, and I get that this is embarrassing for her. I also know I don’t have any actual evidence that this man did anything. So now I feel like maybe I was out of line sharing my completely unfounded opinion with my friend. Am I? Do I the whole family an apology? ​ Comments ​ scrpiorising888 i would rather be seen as an isolating snob than let my child get raped by a man. EternityAwaitz This! I'll be the "bad guy" to protect my child any day! Sparkle_Motion_0710 Ever since my kids could understand, I told them that they can use me as an excuse if put into an awkward situation. I’ve “grounded” them, needed them to “watch younger siblings”, had them “signed up for” something without telling them, etc. Is it honest? Not really but my niece has also used me to get out of a sleepover where a girl brought a huge bottle of vodka (the size with the handle) and she was not interested in trying it. (Good call as it could not have been quality liquor). I was made out to be the bad guy but I would do it for any kid that doesn’t know how to excuse themselves from a situation. Crazy_Pixie_Town Your gut instinct was something you picked up on subconsciously that told you he wasn't safe, even if your brain couldn't figure out what it was at the time. You were right to take your daughter home. I say this as someone who has been working with sex offenders for almost 20 yrs. Always trust your gut. I also understand why you told the other mother. If something happened to her child you would have hated yourself for not saying anything. Better to have been unfairly judgemental than complacent in a child potential getting abused. TalShar As a dad and a man who isn't a predator, the immediate comments about the daughter's appearance and OP's age put my hackles up, and I wasn't even there. There are some things you just don't fucking say, especially as your first interaction. Even if you hypothetically picked up on "Oh hey, this mom looks young, also on an unrelated note because I'm not a creep, her daughter looks a lot like her," not knowing that voicing that would make someone uncomfortable or make you look like a creep is itself a red flag. Being picky about what your daughter is wearing in her own house is also a red flag. This isn't just a gut feeling thing here, there are observable, empirical reasons why this should set off someone's alarm bells. OP is clearly NTA here. Arguably they might've been remiss to not just tell Kennedy's mom how they felt just in case she didn't know, but her reaction tells me she knows and has already developed a reflexive response to cover for him. ​ **Judgement - NTA*\* ​ Update - 26 days later ​ So, the post blew up more than I was expecting. Thank you to everyone who shared their views, whether positive or negative. I’ve never been in a situation like this (I grew up in a city. After the age of 11/12 my parents didn’t know my friends’ parents, there weren’t dynamics to navigate or gossip), I handled it as best I could trying not to offend anyone. I still get messages asking for an update so here it is. First things first, for everyone wondering how Kennedy’s mom - who I’ll call “Sara” - knew it was her husband I had an issue with, I figured it out. After talking to my husband and getting an actual play by play of what happened when he went to pick Elena up that night, it’s clear that he implied we were not happy with how her husband had conducted himself. So it’s not that she automatically knew her husband was the issue. My husband did say that Sara looked like she knew she had an issue the second he showed up, so make of that what you will. I don’t want to believe any woman could know that there’s something not right about her husband and act the fool but time and time again that’s shown to be the case. Second, some people said my friend - who I’ll call “Amy” - had asked me about the sleepover because she also got weird vibes from the stepdad, and that was correct. She said Kennedy’s mom had been the one to answer the door at drop off, but when came to pick up she stepped out back while her daughter got her things and she saw the stepdad talking to one of the cousins, a teenage girl, and she was put off by his body language. She didn’t realise he was the stepdad until her daughter had told him Kennedy’s stepdad is a “weirdo” and described him making inappropriate jokes and demanding physical affection from his stepkids and their cousins. Amy said was sorry for throwing me under the bus but Sara had called her to talk about the girls working on a school project at their house and she had felt put on the spot. She admitted me also thinking things about the stepdad had made her trust her gut that it wasn’t a good idea for her daughter to go over there again. Amy also said she was going to make a group chat and send a message to the other parents in the group and tell them about her experience and asked if I would at least share mine to corroborate. I did think about that long and hard but ultimately I said yes. I didn’t share my “vibes”, just the facts about things that happened when I dropped Elena off, I didn’t even say we picked her up early. The fact is, if the truth makes a person look bad then that is what it is. Parents can decide for themselves, but I think it’s important that people have the information. I would want someone to put me in the loop if I were in their shoes. It didn’t end up as some major gossip session, every parent thanked us profusely for speaking up and said they’d take these things into consideration and we left it there. I think everyone understood the spirit in which it was meant. I did end up texting Sara and explaining the situation to her. I always text so I can have a record of what was said. I said I didn’t have an issue with where she lives, but her husband’s behaviour had made me uneasy about leaving my child there. Founded or not, those were my concerns as a mother which I figured she could understand. I can also understand that she would not agree with my assessment of the situation which is why I didn’t want to muddy the waters by making a big deal out of it. I reiterated that Kennedy is welcome at our house and she’s a lovely kid, and I hope she can understand my position. I also apologised for the misunderstanding. I expected a bit more of a dialogue but she just came back basically saying Kennedy wouldn’t be coming over anymore, she wasn’t comfortable with her daughter being in my care. I said I hoped she’d change her mind, Kennedy is always welcome, and left it. I wasn’t going to argue because I’m not sure if someone said that about my husband I’d let my kid go to their house, although my husband doesn’t behave like hers so it’s a non issue. Kennedy hasn’t come over since. Elena said they’re still friends and don’t blame each other for the drama (I’m so proud of my daughter for her maturity through this whole thing) but obviously it’s a bit tougher when the girls come over here on weekends and Kennedy can’t come. The girls had a sleepover this weekend (since when are young girls so into car racing that they’re holding watch parties?), and Elena and I made Kennedy a party favour bag to take to school so she can feel part of it. If I’m brutally honest, as great as I think it is that the girls are being mature and not making a big deal about it to Kennedy, I’m not sure it will work in the long term. I hope to god I’m wrong and maybe I’m not giving the girls enough credit, but it just seems like there’s a lot that Kennedy can’t participate in now. I feel terrible that this has happened and Kennedy’s social life has been one of the consequences. But I don’t see this as being avoidable. We don’t trust each other with our kids, it’s as simple and as complicated as that. And through all this, I admit I STILL don’t know if the stepdad is dodgy. My husband looked into him, no records of anything to do with kids. He might just be a chauvinist pig who is of the “where’s my hug” variety. There’s a whole range of people between pleasant and dangerous, I don’t claim to know where he falls. But I feel better knowing that I don’t have to face a mother I’ve known for years thinking I could have stopped something happening to her kid and didn’t. And maybe I do have to make peace with a gossipy b-word but that as least I can live with. And that’s where we’re at. I think that’s everything but if I’ve missed anything, do let me know. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to comment and help me not feel so crazy. As always, I don’t know if my way of doing things wi end up being the Right Way. Maybe there isn’t one. We’re all just trying to take care of our kids doing the best we can. ​ Comments ​ LilMissADHDAF For me, the bottom line on the original situation is that when my child identifies a person who behaves inappropriately I’m going to confirm that assessment and behave accordingly. Firstly, because I don’t know this particular guy and he may be an issue, but secondly, because the next guy who behaves this way could also be a true predator, and my daughter needs to know her gut was not wrong and what to do about it when it’s up to her. I’m not going to teach my 9 year old that weird, icky feelings should be swept under the rug so that nobody gets mad at me. Fuck a bunch of all that. EmptySpaghettiHouse I think this is the most important take in this entire thread. She’s teaching her that she respects her daughter’s feelings. Daughter said he’s a creep, mom doesn’t let her over that house again. In the future she’ll be confident telling mom “I’m uncomfortable” knowing mom will actually do something about it. If she had avoided conflict at her daughter’s expense here, her daughter would learn she can’t count on mom and would be more reluctant to voice her own concerns. Fabulous-Minute-5825 I read your original post & honestly, think you’re NTA from another mom’s point of view. You used your mama gut to protect your daughter from possible trauma, no matter how small the risk might seem to “Sara”. I 100% would rather be a “snob” than in jail for hurting someone who hurt my daughter who would be traumatized if I had a gut feeling & ignored it. You did the right thing protecting your baby. ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is still MostAnimal5816. He posted in r/entiteledparents and r/AITAH. Previous BORU's here and original here. New Update marked with ****\* Thanks to u/Shibaswift, u/be4ifallsaveme and u/BakingGiraffeBakes for letting me know about the update. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Trigger Warning: divorce; harassment; possible racism; discussions about inequality in the policing system in the US regarding race; Mood Spoiler: things have escalated and it sucks for OOP Original Post: February 6, 2026 Yesterday after I picked my son up from school my neighbor flagged me down in the driveway to ask me if she could use my laundry machine because hers was broken. I said sure, because she's my neighbor. While she was in her house gathering her laundry I made grilled cheeses for myself and my son. When she came over I showed her where the machine was. After loading the machine she came into the kitchen. My neighbor asked if she could have a grilled cheese. I might just be a dick, but I thought that was a ridiculous thing to ask. I told her I only made two. She asked why I did that since I knew she was coming over??? Because she was coming over for laundry, not grilled cheese... My son offered her half of his. I always put an egg in my grilled cheese sandwiches. She bit into it and was grossed out by the egg (which she should have seen before she bit into it). She then asked where my trash can was. My son said "don't waste food!" So she just HANDED THE SANDWICH BACK TO HIM. I told him to switch halves with me and then binned the sandwich half when he wasn't looking. She asked to use my bathroom, which I of course agreed to. She came back to the kitchen after and asked if I had any refreshments. I said no and suggested that she wait for her clothes to finish at home. She asked if I was trying to get rid of her. I said we needed to get started on homework. She said she didn't mind. I said we needed to keep distraction to a minimum. She said "well, I know when I'm not wanted," and left. When she came back to switch her clothes to the drier, she was very irritated. I apologized for hurting her feelings. She said it didn't matter, but she sounded angry. Then she left. I feel bad, but I also feel annoyed, because who acts like that? Some of OOP's Comments: anonanon-do-do-do: NTA. Is she elderly? If so, she is probably lonely. Or she might just be very nosy. OOP: I think she's in her thirties. Maybe a hot early forties. Also she's married and has kids. Sea-Operation-6123: How close are you with this woman? Has she been in your house before? Do y’all socialize? This whole thing is … very strange. OOP: I actually just moved here last month. I think I've spoken to her maybe twice? This was her first time coming into my house. I also think it was strange to be honest. mochi7227: She wants to be in your life. Are you a guy or a lady? OOP: A guy. Update Post: February 7, 2026 (Next Day) I have a tiny update about my weird neighbor with the broken washing machine. She came back! I know 90% of you said to never let her back in the house, so you are probably going to judge me heavily. In my defense I was a little flustered by the whole thing. She waved me down again when we were walking up to the house. She said to wait because she had something for me. I waited because... I guess because I'm stupid? I figured she would just knock on the door anyway if I didn't. She came back with a pie that she said was thanks for using my washing machine. I said thank you and she didn't have to. She said "let's go inside and try a piece." I said it was almost my son's naptime. She said "great! We can eat pie while he naps!" A lot of you said she might have been interested in me, and that was still in my head. So I said "yeah, and you should invite your husband over too." I was expecting that to deter her. Nope! She got very excited! She said "that's a great idea! Here, you take the pie in and I'll go get him." So at that point I'm internally thinking "what the fu...." My son and I went inside. I started cutting pieces of pie because at this point I felt like a victim of fate. She came over with her husband. I have never seen a man that looked as exasperated and embarrassed as this guy. We ate pie, and the whole time she asked me weird questions while her husband looked annoyed. Every once in a while I would say something and she would give her husband a look. He kept pretending not to see the looks. After we finished the pie, she asked if I had coffee. Her husband said "Honey, he wants to put his son down for a nap. Let's go home." She said "oh he doesn't mind." Her husband said "he minds" while he took her elbow and started leading her out the door. She kept insisting that I didn't until they were outside. I gotta say, I think I'm in love with this guy. As weird and annoying as the whole thing was, I feel a lot better about my neighbor now. Some of the comments had some pretty crazy speculation that made me a little nervous. Now that I've met her husband I'm pretty sure she's just bored. Which is fine. It's annoying, but not creepy. So to all the people who were worried she was trying to seduce me or spy on me or steal from me, don't worry. Based on her husband's reactions she's just... like this. Some of OOP's Comments: EmpoweRED21: Obv NTA but sounds like you’ve made a new buddy. He definitely goes through it on the daily judging by his actions. Hey, at least you got some pie out of it OOP: This is going to sound so bad, but... The pie wasn't that good. Way too much sugar. To another commenter: It wasn't that great. To answer the question below, it was an apple pie. It was canned filling and had way too much sugar. It wasn't the worst pie ever, but she didn't even do a lattice crust. That's like the whole point of making a pie. Complete_General_546: Okay: are you a super interesting person? I was thinking it was a your neighbor person but now I’m curious if you are just really intriguing? OOP: Not really. I'm divorced. I have a kid. She seemed really zeroed in on that topic. I think divorce is actually pretty common, but maybe not in her social circle. My son and I are in a minority group. Not a super interesting one or anything though. willowsquest: Some suburban-type women have a slight fixation on the notions of kids and motherhood, idk if your neighbours have their own kids (part of me assumes not if she has time to be doing all this lol), but maybe she has some half-baked subconscious idea about being a "feminine influence" for the poor divorced man and his motherless son lmao. [...] OOP: I think this is it. I'm pretty sure her kids are teenagers. So maybe now that her kids are at the "leave me alone" age she wants a project. Based on her behavior and a lot of the comments I feel this is most likely. fornikate777: Stay with me.....is she white and are you a minority? OOP: Yes. mangopango123: I am soooo curious bc i been going thru the comments n can’t find any about this part of your story, but can you pls give me any examples of the weird qs she asked you?? [...] OOP: Mostly stuff about my divorce. I'm not salty about my divorce, so it didn't hurt my feelings, but she didn't know that, so I thought it was rude/weird. She wanted to know how long ago I got divorced, where we used to live, why I moved, why I have primary custody, what school my kid used to go to, what my ex-wife does for work, how she feels about not being the primary parent, nosy stuff. She also asked why we got divorced, which I didn't have to answer because her husband actually cut her off on that one. He said "that's a private matter," and she dropped it. Update Post 2: February 18, 2026 (11 days later) Title: My neighbor found my ex-wife on Facebook and messaged her I have a weird neighbor with boundary issues. She invited herself into my house twice, and after that I tried to be more assertive in telling her she can't come over. I thought I was doing well, but I had only seen a small slice of what she was capable of. My ex-wife called me an hour ago to rip me a new exit orifice. My neighbor found her on Facebook and messaged her to ask if she was my ex-wife. She said she was. My neighbor asked her if she knew where I was currently living. She said she did. My neighbor then asked her why our son didn't live with her, his mother. My ex blocked her and then called me to yell at me. I am furious. I want to yell at my neighbor, but I don't want to be stupid. I apologized to my ex-wife, but she is still pissed. How can anyone be so entitled as to think they have the right to interfere in a complete stranger's life like this? She's just my neighbor! We aren't even friends. This is beyond the pale. Some of OOP's Comments: Affectionate_Beach45: How in the world did she find your ex? How does she even know your last name? OOP: I told her my last name. She told me hers, and at the time I didn't think it was weird. She also asked me a lot of questions about my ex, and I very stupidly answered them because I am a big dumb dummy. nova_floren: No, you’re not. When we move to a new neighborhood, we share some few information about ourselves. She’s just a creepy fk. OOP: Okay, good. Thank you. I thought I was an idiot. To me it's normal to tell your neighbors things about yourself. I never anticipated this. Jsmith2127: Document, get cameras, and look into getting a restraining order. OOP: Do you think I can get a restraining order just because of an unsolicited Facebook message? I am ordering cameras now. Is ring still good? I know a lot of people have stopped using it. What's a good alternative? Necessary_Sir_5079: Tell your ex to screenshot and send you the messages. Write down every attempt she's made to talk to you with dates. If your neighbor continues to butt into your life let her know you're documenting the harassment and will be making police reports if she continues. [...] OOP: That's so smart! I'm going to text her (my ex) now. AcademicAquarius: Do you think that she thinks that you have kidnapped your own child or something? She might have an issue / concern with you being a single dad. [...] OOP: I think so. Reading over the messages she sent my wife, that is the impression I get, that she thought my ex was unaware that my son and I live here. I know there were a couple of stories in the news not too long ago about a woman who was kidnapped by a parent and found forty years later or something. Maybe she had that in the back of her mind and her imagination ran away with her. I really don't think that excuses her behavior, but I do hope that is what her problem is, because the alternatives are all so much creepier. Mini Update Comment: February 19, 2026 (Next Day) I talked to him [neighbor's husband]. I waited for his car to pull into the driveway (creepy, I know, but turnabout is fair play) and walked over to talk to him. I showed him the screenshots my ex sent me. He looked very annoyed. He said he would talk to her, and he apologized. He said "she means well" but also that she "watches too much daytime crap." Hopefully that's the end of it. Update Post 3: February 20, 2026 (Next Day, 2 weeks from OG post) I talked to her husband, and he said he would talk to her. I don't doubt that he did, but whatever he said didn't get through. My son and I were eating breakfast when I heard a knock on the door. I thought there was absolutely no way it could be her, but it was. I looked through the peephole, and she was standing there with a baking tray. I just went back into the kitchen. I ignored her. My son wanted to know why I wasn't answering the door, and I said sometimes we're already doing something important and so don't have time for other people if it isn't an emergency. I said breakfast with him was important, and it wasn't an emergency, so I wasn't going to answer. She kept knocking for what felt like an age. Her husband must have come out at one point, because I heard him calling her name. She said "I know he's in there. His car is here." Just incorrigible, this woman. I ignored her. I think her husband actually came and pulled her off the porch. That's what it sounded like to me, but I didn't look. Bugs Bunny is less Loony Toons than she is. Two of OOP's Comments: Cameras: I ordered cameras. ZookeepergameOld8988: I think you’re going to have to be very firm. Try to time it so you’re speaking with both of them and tell them you will file harassment claims against her if she approaches you, your child, or any other member of your family. [...] OOP: I am of a mind at the moment to not speak to her directly again. I think any level of attention might add fuel to the flame. She is obviously bored and fixated, and any engagement will alleviate some of the boredom and encourage the behavior. Mini Update in Comments: February 21, 2026 (Next Day) At this point she makes me feel so paranoid. I felt like she was watching us when we left the house this morning. We got dropped off by some friends about an hour ago and "coincidentally" someone was knocking on my door ten minutes later. My doorbell camera arrived, and I'm going to install it in the morning. I didn't look to see if it was her knocking, but I'm sure it was. It had to be. Update Post 4: February 22, 2026 (Next Day, 16 days from OG post) Title: laundry, Facebook and terrible baking. I don't actually know if all of her baked offerings are terrible, because I only tried the first one, but I'm just going to assume. My crazy neighbor is obsessed with me and my kid. She pretended her washing machine was broken so she could come over and snoop. Then she wormed her way in a second time with a terrible pie. I did my best to avoid her after that, so she found my ex-wife on Facebook and confronted her there. I want to be clear that I have never been friends with this woman. We are only neighbors. Her behavior is beyond strange and unsettling. She tried to come over again with a tray of something she baked, and I ignored her. Last night I'm pretty sure she knocked on my door. I did not check to make sure it was her, but I'm fairly sure. She had me so paranoid that every time I heard a rustling sound outside in the back of my mind I wondered if it was her. Of course it wasn't, because no woman is going to creep around in the bushes at night, but that is how much she is stressing me out. I installed the doorbell camera this morning before I took my son to daycare and went to work. It went off while I was tidying up at work and getting ready to leave. I saw her standing there with *another* baking tray. I told her through the app that I was at work. She said she wanted to talk to me, and I said that I'm at work and that I don't want to talk to her. She asked if we could talk when I get back from work. I said no. She said she wanted to clear the air. I said that wasn't necessary. I said I'm not upset (a lie), but that I don't want to talk to her or be around her. She said she was worried about me. She said my son and I got home late last night (it wasn't that late, it was around eight) and that my son looked unwell when we arrived (he was sleeping). She said it didn't make sense that I was at work because it's Sunday (yeah, I work on Sundays) and that if something is going on she can help me. Her tone and verbiage were so condescending. I stopped being nice. I told her to please get off my property. I said I do not want her around me or my son. I said she was making me uncomfortable. She tried to argue with me, but I stopped responding while continuing to watch her on the app. She kept saying she just wanted to help. She even knocked on the door at one point. She left with her baking tray. I'm stressed out. Part of me doesn't even want to go home. She thinks she has the right to claim my space and my time. She treats my porch like public property and me like I owe her an explanation for anything in my life. It's infuriating. I might be making a mountain out of a molehill. I know she's just a bored busybody. But she needs to find someone else to take an interest in. I think the SPCA accepts volunteers! Some of OOP's Comments: Talk to husband and police: I did talk to her husband. He said he was going to talk to her. I believe that he did, but obviously whatever he said didn't convince her. Or maybe I'm naive and he was just blowing me off and never spoke to her. I'm not going to call the police. I'm saving the footage of our conversation, but I'm not going to call the police at this point. She hasn't broken any laws, and I fear getting the police involved would be an escalation. I don't want cops at my house. I don't want my ex-wife finding out I didn't nip this situation in the bud like I assured her I would. About her 'concern' for the son: Yeah, it didn't make any sense. How does she simultaneously believe the two contradictory statements that A: 8ish is too late to get home and B: that it's suspicious that my son was asleep when we got home. If it's late it's not weird that he was asleep. And if it's weird that he was asleep, it can't have been that late. Also he's five. Five year olds fall asleep. To the many, many people telling him he needs to get the police involved: [editor's note: OOP clarifies that he is a black man living in the US. There is a LOT of nuance here with the fact that the lady is white, he is not, and police brutality/violence is disproportionate toward black men. I am including all of these because OOP kept having to explain why he wasn't comfortable, and to clarify that the police system in the US might look a lot different to people in other countries] (downvoted) I truthfully don't view calling the police as safeguarding anything. Police officers make mistakes all the time. They aren't more or less equiped to handle a volatile situation than anyone else. Calling the police only introduces firearms to the scene. To another commenter: (Downvoted): I'm not disagreeing with you, but you're not engaging with the whole reality. Cops show up to calls and shoot homeowners. They arrest victims of domestic violence. They make mistakes. If I do the right thing, and something bad happens to me, is my moral high ground going to tuck my kid in at night? To a third commenter: (downvoted) I really don't think that's a good idea. I don't think involving the cops would deescalate the situation. I think it would escalate the situation. I also don't want to scare my kid. In my state, someone has to currently be on the property to be trespassed. So everything would be playing out in my yard for the whole neighborhood to see. That's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario is the pretty white housewife convinces the cops that I'm the problem, not her. Post on legal advice/they'll convince you to call the cops: The rules for that sub say you have to include what state you live in. I'm not comfortable doing that. I acknowledge your advice comes from a good place, but I'm not willing to risk my life. In this country, if you look like me, a 911 call can be the last call you ever make. Later that day regarding husband: I actually saw him today. One of the moms from daycare and her son came home with me and my son for a playdate. When we were heading inside I saw crazy neighbor come out. Her husband followed her out and pulled her back inside. It all happened so fast I almost thought I imagined it. So he's definitely aware. OOP's ex: My ex doesn't want to hear from me. That's why she was so upset when my neighbor messaged her. He has her new man and a baby on the way. She wants to be left alone. The neighborhood: No, there are other nonwhite people that live here. Comment: February 24, 2026 (2 days later) She knocked on the door and rang the doorbell and said to the camera that she just wanted to clear the air. I ignored her, and eventually she went home. She didn't bring a baking tray this time, like she knew I wasn't going to answer. I think she's running out of steam. OOP adds: Thank you. I think her crazy peaked with messaging my ex. Also her husband definitely doesn't approve of what she's doing, and that's probably dampening her enthusiasm. Comment: February 28, 2026 (4 days later) Ignoring her has been working so far. She has tried a few times to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. I ignore her, and she goes away. I am confident she will eventually get bored. ***** New Update ***** *****New Update Post March 3, 2026***** (9 days from last update post, almost 1 month from OG post) Title: Entitled neighbor threatened me with police My entitled neighbor, that you can read about in my post history, is obsessed with me. It seemed like things were calming down. I have a doorbell camera, and she wasn't knocking on my door as much. She seemed to be running out of steam. Last night my son and I went to a party at a friend's house. Several children were there, and the hosts offered a sleepover for any kid who wanted to spend the night. Once all the kids were asleep, us adults enjoyed the adult beverages. I left my son and my car at my friend's house, to pick up in the morning (which I did). I then walked home. After I got home I went straight to bed. I was woken up by the doorbell camera. My neighbor was there. I ignored her, but I watched her on the camera. She said she knew I was home, and that if I didn't answer she would call a wellness check for me, because I came home with my son. I told her through the camera that he was at a slumber party and I wanted her off my porch. She asked why he was at a slumber party on a Monday night. I said it was none of her business and to get off my porch. She said she was going to call for the wellness check unless I showed her proof that he was okay. I walked out the back door and towards her house. She saw me when I was almost there and came running after me. I knocked on her door. She reached her front door right before her husband opened the door and demanded I leave (the irony). Her husband answered the door and asked what was going on. I told him what his wife did and threatened to do. He yelled and cursed at her, asking her what was wrong with her and telling her to get in the house. She told him not to lower his voice, saying the neighbors would hear. He said the neighbors already think she's a word I'm not going to repeat because they see her knocking on my door all the time. She told him to stop, and he told her to get in the house. She went inside. He apologized to me and said she isn't going to knock on my door again. I felt uncomfortable because of the yelling and cursing, and I was also still tipsy. So I said okay and went home. So far, no knocks. We'll see what happens. Some of OOP's Comments: MyChoiceNotYours: (downvoted) I'm starting to think this is either BS or you like the drama. She's supposedly just threatened to call the police on you, she's stalking TF out of you and your vulnerable child and all you do is hope she goes away. So either you're lying or a bad parent who is not trying to keep their child safe. OOP: I hope you are never in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation where you have limited choices and they're all bad. Sell the house: I can't afford to sell this house. One thing I have been considering is renting it out and using the proceeds to pay the rent on a different house. Some_Troll_Shaman: OP at the very least build an archive of her unhingedness that you have on video so when you do get the police involved you can hand them a USB of this insanity. OOP: I have videos saved. Editor's note: OOP left a few comments on the other Best Of subreddit that doesn't have the 7 day waiting period. I'm including three of those just because they have some more context. Moving now: Thank you. I'm looking into moving. I know a realtor. I'm going to see if I can rent this house out for enough money to (mostly) cover the rent on a house in another neighborhood. I won't leave the area, but if I'm in a different neighborhood, she won't have access to me anymore. The commenters who refuse to give up on the police suggestion: Yeah, it's weird. When I first posted, people were very friendly and supportive, and it made me feel better about the situation. I felt crazy at first, like I was bullying this nice woman, and the people on the subreddit helped me realize that's not the case. But the second my lived reality didn't fit their preconceptions, they turned on me. It's a weird thing to experience. OOP as of March 8, 2026 (Not enough for a true update but included here) I'm not in Arkansas, but thank you. I have not seen her since her husband yelled at her in front of me. As in literally. I haven't even caught a glimpse of her. I think she might be done. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/AITAH and /r/EntitledPeople by user MostAnimal5816. I'm not the original poster. There were previous BORUs here, here and here. Status: Ongoing, though OOP seems reluctrant to post more, as he feels some people are not very helpful towards his situation Original February 6, 2026 Yesterday after I picked my son up from school my neighbor flagged me down in the driveway to ask me if she could use my laundry machine because hers was broken. I said sure, because she's my neighbor. While she was in her house gathering her laundry I made grilled cheeses for myself and my son. When she came over I showed her where the machine was. After loading the machine she came into the kitchen. My neighbor asked if she could have a grilled cheese. I might just be a dick, but I thought that was a ridiculous thing to ask. I told her I only made two. She asked why I did that since I knew she was coming over??? Because she was coming over for laundry, not grilled cheese... My son offered her half of his. I always put an egg in my grilled cheese sandwiches. She bit into it and was grossed out by the egg (which she should have seen before she bit into it). She then asked where my trash can was. My son said "don't waste food!" So she just HANDED THE SANDWICH BACK TO HIM. I told him to switch halves with me and then binned the sandwich half when he wasn't looking. She asked to use my bathroom, which I of course agreed to. She came back to the kitchen after and asked if I had any refreshments. I said no and suggested that she wait for her clothes to finish at home. She asked if I was trying to get rid of her. I said we needed to get started on homework. She said she didn't mind. I said we needed to keep distraction to a minimum. She said "well, I know when I'm not wanted," and left. When she came back to switch her clothes to the drier, she was very irritated. I apologized for hurting her feelings. She said it didn't matter, but she sounded angry. Then she left. I feel bad, but I also feel annoyed, because who acts like that? Consensus: Not the asshole Comments by OOP: I think she's in her thirties. Maybe a hot early forties. Also she's married and has kids. I actually just moved here last month. I think I've spoken to her maybe twice? This was her first time coming into my house. I also think it was strange to be honest. She put me in an awkward position with [my son]. Obviously I want to model for him to always be polite and welcoming, but there is a limit. It's a more nuanced situation than a five year old can probably grasp. I completely understand not wanting to drive to the laundromat, but wanting to also be fed when your house (which presumably contains food) is right there is so odd to me. She's married. And she's at least ten years older than me. Like she wants to be my friend or like she wants to get with me? Because she's too old and too married for me. If you meant the friend thing, maybe. But what a weird way to make friends. [Somebody comments she wanted to use the bathroom to steal medication] If she wants my gas-ex that much she can have it. How OOP makes their grilled cheese: Cook the egg at the same time you brown the toast. When you flip the toast and put a piece of cheese on put the egg on top and then a second piece of cheese. Place one of the pieces of toast on top, browned side down. Let the melted cheese seal in the egg and flip. Best way to eat a grilled cheese. The cheese seals it in until you take a bite. The yolk mixed with the melted cheese is perfection. Update February 8, 2026, 2 days later I have a tiny update about my weird neighbor with the broken washing machine. She came back! I know 90% of you said to never let her back in the house, so you are probably going to judge me heavily. In my defense I was a little flustered by the whole thing. She waved me down again when we were walking up to the house. She said to wait because she had something for me. I waited because... I guess because I'm stupid? I figured she would just knock on the door anyway if I didn't. She came back with a pie that she said was thanks for using my washing machine. I said thank you and she didn't have to. She said "let's go inside and try a piece." I said it was almost my son's naptime. She said "great! We can eat pie while he naps!" A lot of you said she might have been interested in me, and that was still in my head. So I said "yeah, and you should invite your husband over too." I was expecting that to deter her. Nope! She got very excited! She said "that's a great idea! Here, you take the pie in and I'll go get him." So at that point I'm internally thinking "what the fu...." My son and I went inside. I started cutting pieces of pie because at this point I felt like a victim of fate. She came over with her husband. I have never seen a man that looked as exasperated and embarrassed as this guy. We ate pie, and the whole time she asked me weird questions while her husband looked annoyed. Every once in a while I would say something and she would give her husband a look. He kept pretending not to see the looks. After we finished the pie, she asked if I had coffee. Her husband said "Honey, he wants to put his son down for a nap. Let's go home." She said "oh he doesn't mind." Her husband said "he minds" while he took her elbow and started leading her out the door. She kept insisting that I didn't until they were outside. I gotta say, I think I'm in love with this guy. As weird and annoying as the whole thing was, I feel a lot better about my neighbor now. Some of the comments had some pretty crazy speculation that made me a little nervous. Now that I've met her husband I'm pretty sure she's just bored. Which is fine. It's annoying, but not creepy. So to all the people who were worried she was trying to seduce me or spy on me or steal from me, don't worry. Based on her husband's reactions she's just... like this. Comments by OOP: I'm divorced. I have a kid. She seemed really zeroed in on that topic. I think divorce is actually pretty common, but maybe not in her social circle. My son and I are in a minority group. Not a super interesting one or anything though. Kind of weird. I'm younger than her and a different gender. I don't really see us being coffee buddies. She has kids. I think this is it. I'm pretty sure her kids are teenagers. So maybe now that her kids are at the "leave me alone" age she wants a project. Based on her behavior and a lot of the comments I feel this is most likely. This is going to sound so bad, but... The pie wasn't that good. Way too much sugar. It wasn't that great. To answer the question below, it was an apple pie. It was canned filling and had way too much sugar. It wasn't the worst pie ever, but she didn't even do a lattice crust. That's like the whole point of making a pie. Comment by OOP: [What they were talking about] Mostly stuff about my divorce. I'm not salty about my divorce, so it didn't hurt my feelings, but she didn't know that, so I thought it was rude/weird. She wanted to know how long ago I got divorced, where we used to live, why I moved, why I have primary custody, what school my kid used to go to, what my ex-wife does for work, how she feels about not being the primary parent, nosy stuff. She also asked why we got divorced, which I didn't have to answer because her husband actually cut her off on that one. He said "that's a private matter," and she dropped it. Update 2 February 19, 2026, 13 days later I have a weird neighbor with boundary issues. She invited herself into my house twice, and after that I tried to be more assertive in telling her she can't come over. I thought I was doing well, but I had only seen a small slice of what she was capable of. My ex-wife called me an hour ago to rip me a new exit orifice. My neighbor found her on Facebook and messaged her to ask if she was my ex-wife. She said she was. My neighbor asked her if she knew where I was currently living. She said she did. My neighbor then asked her why our son didn't live with her, his mother. My ex blocked her and then called me to yell at me. I am furious. I want to yell at my neighbor, but I don't want to be stupid. I apologized to my ex-wife, but she is still pissed. How can anyone be so entitled as to think they have the right to interfere in a complete stranger's life like this? She's just my neighbor! We aren't even friends. This is beyond the pale. Comments by OOP: I told her my last name. She told me hers, and at the time I didn't think it was weird. She also asked me a lot of questions about my ex, and I very stupidly answered them because I am a big dumb dummy. My neighbor wouldn't even know my ex-wife existed if I hadn't very stupidly answered all her invasive questions. I thought I was an idiot. To me it's normal to tell your neighbors things about yourself. I never anticipated this. I'm nervous about making an enemy though. We just moved here. I need to be smart about this. I'm wondering if I should talk to her husband about it. I thought she was just bored and nosey, but this is a whole different kettle of fish. Do you think I can get a restraining order just because of an unsolicited Facebook message? I am ordering cameras now. Is ring still good? I know a lot of people have stopped using it. What's a good alternative? My ex sent me screenshots. I have the messages. Reading over the messages she sent my wife, that is the impression I get, that she thought my ex was unaware that my son and I live here. I know there were a couple of stories in the news not too long ago about a woman who was kidnapped by a parent and found forty years later or something. Maybe she had that in the back of her mind and her imagination ran away with her. I really don't think that excuses her behavior, but I do hope that is what her problem is, because the alternatives are all so much creepier. The husband is cool. I think a conversation with him is likely to be productive. I didn't have time this morning, but I'll knock on his door when I get home from work. I hope she doesn't answer. If she does I'll tell her she crossed the line, but it will be so awkward. I talked to him. I waited for his car to pull into the driveway (creepy, I know, but turnabout is fair play) and walked over to talk to him. I showed him the screenshots my ex sent me. He looked very annoyed. He said he would talk to her, and he apologized. He said "she means well" but also that she "watches too much daytime crap." Hopefully that's the end of it. Update 3 February 20, 2026, 13 days after the first posting and 1 day after the last I talked to her husband, and he said he would talk to her. I don't doubt that he did, but whatever he said didn't get through. My son and I were eating breakfast when I heard a knock on the door. I thought there was absolutely no way it could be her, but it was. I looked through the peephole, and she was standing there with a baking tray. I just went back into the kitchen. I ignored her. My son wanted to know why I wasn't answering the door, and I said sometimes we're already doing something important and so don't have time for other people if it isn't an emergency. I said breakfast with him was important, and it wasn't an emergency, so I wasn't going to answer. She kept knocking for what felt like an age. Her husband must have come out at one point, because I heard him calling her name. She said "I know he's in there. His car is here." Just incorrigible, this woman. I ignored her. I think her husband actually came and pulled her off the porch. That's what it sounded like to me, but I didn't look. Bugs Bunny is less Loony Toons than she is. Comment by OOP: I am of a mind at the moment to not speak to her directly again. I think any level of attention might add fuel to the flame. She is obviously bored and fixated, and any engagement will alleviate some of the boredom and encourage the behavior. Update 4 February 22, 2026, 15 days after the first posting and 2 days after the last I don't actually know if all of her baked offerings are terrible, because I only tried the first one, but I'm just going to assume. My crazy neighbor is obsessed with me and my kid. She pretended her washing machine was broken so she could come over and snoop. Then she wormed her way in a second time with a terrible pie. I did my best to avoid her after that, so she found my ex-wife on Facebook and confronted her there. I want to be clear that I have never been friends with this woman. We are only neighbors. Her behavior is beyond strange and unsettling. She tried to come over again with a tray of something she baked, and I ignored her. Last night I'm pretty sure she knocked on my door. I did not check to make sure it was her, but I'm fairly sure. She had me so paranoid that every time I heard a rustling sound outside in the back of my mind I wondered if it was her. Of course it wasn't, because no woman is going to creep around in the bushes at night, but that is how much she is stressing me out. I installed the doorbell camera this morning before I took my son to daycare and went to work. It went off while I was tidying up at work and getting ready to leave. I saw her standing there with *another* baking tray. I told her through the app that I was at work. She said she wanted to talk to me, and I said that I'm at work and that I don't want to talk to her. She asked if we could talk when I get back from work. I said no. She said she wanted to clear the air. I said that wasn't necessary. I said I'm not upset (a lie), but that I don't want to talk to her or be around her. She said she was worried about me. She said my son and I got home late last night (it wasn't that late, it was around eight) and that my son looked unwell when we arrived (he was sleeping). She said it didn't make sense that I was at work because it's Sunday (yeah, I work on Sundays) and that if something is going on she can help me. Her tone and verbiage were so condescending. I stopped being nice. I told her to please get off my property. I said I do not want her around me or my son. I said she was making me uncomfortable. She tried to argue with me, but I stopped responding while continuing to watch her on the app. She kept saying she just wanted to help. She even knocked on the door at one point. She left with her baking tray. I'm stressed out. Part of me doesn't even want to go home. She thinks she has the right to claim my space and my time. She treats my porch like public property and me like I owe her an explanation for anything in my life. It's infuriating. I might be making a mountain out of a molehill. I know she's just a bored busybody. But she needs to find someone else to take an interest in. I think the SPCA accepts volunteers! Comments by OOP: No, she's not [normal]. I keep thinking I'm overreacting and she is, but she really isn't. I did talk to her husband. He said he was going to talk to her. I believe that he did, but obviously whatever he said didn't convince her. Or maybe I'm naive and he was just blowing me off and never spoke to her. I don't think I'm going to talk to her husband again, because it didn't work last time, and I don't want to go onto their property. I feel it sets a bad precedent. I actually saw him today. One of the moms from daycare and her son came home with me and my son for a playdate. When we were heading inside I saw crazy neighbor come out. Her husband followed her out and pulled her back inside. It all happened so fast I almost thought I imagined it. So he's definitely aware. I'm not going to call the police. I'm saving the footage of our conversation, but I'm not going to call the police at this point. She hasn't broken any laws, and I fear getting the police involved would be an escalation. I don't want cops at my house. I don't want my ex-wife finding out I didn't nip this situation in the bud like I assured her I would. I truthfully don't view calling the police as safeguarding anything. Police officers make mistakes all the time. They aren't more or less equiped to handle a volatile situation than anyone else. Calling the police only introduces firearms to the scene. I really don't think that's a good idea. I don't think involving the cops would deescalate the situation. I think it would escalate the situation. I also don't want to scare my kid. In my state, someone has to currently be on the property to be trespassed. So everything would be playing out in my yard for the whole neighborhood to see. That's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario is the pretty white housewife convinces the cops that I'm the problem, not her. I'm not disagreeing with you, but you're not engaging with the whole reality. Cops show up to calls and shoot homeowners. They arrest victims of domestic violence. They make mistakes. If I do the right thing, and something bad happens to me, is my moral high ground going to tuck my kid in at night? I'm not comfortable doing that. I acknowledge your advice comes from a good place, but I'm not willing to risk my life. In this country, if you look like me, a 911 call can be the last call you ever make. Yeah, it didn't make any sense. How does she simultaneously believe the two contradictory statements that A: 8ish is too late to get home and B: that it's suspicious that my son was asleep when we got home. If it's late it's not weird that he was asleep. And if it's weird that he was asleep, it can't have been that late. Also he's five. Five year olds fall asleep. I don't actually think she wants access to my son. I think, if anything, she wants my ex-wife to have him. She doesn't live here, so that would mean my neighbor would never see him again. Which, by the way, my neighbor is never seeing him again (except for from a distance) as it is. I can't win either way though. If I don't tell her to go away, I didn't communicate clearly. If I do tell her to go away, I encouraged her by talking to her. My ex doesn't want to hear from me. That's why she was so upset when my neighbor messaged her. He has her new man and a baby on the way. She wants to be left alone. We moved into this house in January. Unfortunately I think I am her hobby. I'm going to hold the line. No talking to her. No favors for her. No accepting anything from her. From now on the only thing she'll hear from me is "please leave." Eventually she'll have to get a new hobby. NEW Comments by OOP: She knocked on the door and rang the doorbell and said to the camera that she just wanted to clear the air. I ignored her, and eventually she went home. She didn't bring a baking tray this time, like she knew I wasn't going to answer. I think she's running out of steam. Thank you. I think her crazy peaked with messaging my ex. Also her husband definitely doesn't approve of what she's doing, and that's probably dampening her enthusiasm. Ignoring her has been working so far. She has tried a few times to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. I ignore her, and she goes away. I am confident she will eventually get bored. Update 5 March 3, 2026, 22 days after the first posting and 9 days after the last My entitled neighbor, that you can read about in my post history, is obsessed with me. It seemed like things were calming down. I have a doorbell camera, and she wasn't knocking on my door as much. She seemed to be running out of steam. Last night my son and I went to a party at a friend's house. Several children were there, and the hosts offered a sleepover for any kid who wanted to spend the night. Once all the kids were asleep, us adults enjoyed the adult beverages. I left my son and my car at my friend's house, to pick up in the morning (which I did). I then walked home. After I got home I went straight to bed. I was woken up by the doorbell camera. My neighbor was there. I ignored her, but I watched her on the camera. She said she knew I was home, and that if I didn't answer she would call a wellness check for me, because I came home with my son. I told her through the camera that he was at a slumber party and I wanted her off my porch. She asked why he was at a slumber party on a Monday night. I said it was none of her business and to get off my porch. She said she was going to call for the wellness check unless I showed her proof that he was okay. I walked out the back door and towards her house. She saw me when I was almost there and came running after me. I knocked on her door. She reached her front door right before her husband opened the door and demanded I leave (the irony). Her husband answered the door and asked what was going on. I told him what his wife did and threatened to do. He yelled and cursed at her, asking her what was wrong with her and telling her to get in the house. She told him not to lower his voice, saying the neighbors would hear. He said the neighbors already think she's a word I'm not going to repeat because they see her knocking on my door all the time. She told him to stop, and he told her to get in the house. She went inside. He apologized to me and said she isn't going to knock on my door again. I felt uncomfortable because of the yelling and cursing, and I was also still tipsy. So I said okay and went home. So far, no knocks. We'll see what happens. Comments by OOP: I can't afford to sell this house. One thing I have been considering is renting it out and using the proceeds to pay the rent on a different house. I have videos saved. Well I'm definitely not going to come on here again. The first few times I posted people were sympathetic and supportive of my unfortunate situation. Now I'm not getting anything but vitriol. I'm not the original poster. submitted by /u/Schattenspringer to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

My brother was playing 2k late last night and someone knocked on the door at 1AM and he didn't check to see who it was because he was in the middle of game and would never open the door to a stranger in the middle of the night. later at 4AM someone pull in and back out of are drive fairly quickly. This morning is when we discovered it on the porch, I tried Google lensing it but got no visual matches. The button has a small clear compartment partially filled with a clear liquid and there's no branding or text on it apart from the name Randy written on it twice. The only theory I could come up with is that Randy was supposed to live here and the second person was trying to correct the wrongful delivery but some how couldn't find it. Any ideas of what it could be or why it got dropped off at our front door? submitted by /u/KarterRegan to r/whatisit [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Commercial_Use_1836 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes The Neighbors Have Slowly Been Adopting Our Cat and I Don’t Know What to Do. Trigger Warnings: discussions of animal injury Original Post: December 24, 2025 We LOVE our cat, but, since he’s a rescue, he did come with a few quirks. One of these quirks is that he has to be an indoor-outdoor cat. We have tried several times to transition him into an indoor-only cat and have failed miserably every time. If he’s forced to stay inside for longer than he tolerates, he will spray pee in the house, scratch at any and all surfaces around any door, scratch at windows, blinds, and anything else nearby, and he will howl for hours. He will wake us up in the middle of the night, howl for hours at a time during the day, and he can get LOUD - like, louder than a dog. We consulted with his vet, and she said that the only real solution was to get him fixed, so we did that. We got him fixed 2 months after we adopted him, and his behavior didn’t change. We took him back to the vet and consulted with her again, and she said that with his history, and with how old he already was, it’s pretty much impossible to train these behaviors out of him. She said that the best thing to do, for his happiness and ours, was to keep him fully vaccinated and to teach him routines that’ll help keep him safe. So, that’s what we did. He’s a very territorial cat, most of the other outdoor cats in our neighborhood are the same, so he never went far from our backyard. He usually stays either in our yard, or in the small wooded area behind our yard. I can usually see him throughout the day from my back door. And this made it pretty easy to establish a routine with him. Every morning I would go to the back porch and call him in for breakfast, after breakfast I would check him over for any cuts or scrapes, he would take a nap, and then he would go back outside when it was time for our toddler to take a nap. Usually he would come back inside for dinner later on in the day and take another nap, but he wasn’t required to. If he had any serious injuries, like an open wound, any big scabs, or if he was having a dry skin breakout (he has a skin condition and gets this seasonally), I would put his plush donut cone on his head, apply ointment or coconut oil, and keep him inside for a day or two. This routine worked well for us for over 2 years, and our cat followed the routine obediently. That is, until, our upstairs neighbors moved in about a year and a half ago. A mother, her son, and her daughter moved into the upstairs apartment where the affection with our cat started small at first. The son of the family would pet our cat when he saw him outside. Then they started going on walks together. Then they would sit together in the backyard. I never had a problem with this, and thought it was rather sweet. Until, he started taking our cat up to their apartment. I spoke with his mom about it, and she said that sometimes our cat would just follow her son up to their apartment after they went on a walk together, and that her son loves cats. I told her that it wasn’t a big deal if that happened sometimes, but to please not keep him up there too often. Our cat still needed to come downstairs for his daily check-up, and if he spent too much time inside of their apartment, he would run from me and not come inside of our apartment when it was time. Well, then, her son started sneaking our cat into their apartment after his mom left for work. Now, i guess here is a good place to state that until very recently, I thought this boy was a high school student. He has some pretty big physical disabilities, so I never found it strange that he didn’t go to school. I just figured that he was probably homeschooled so that he wouldn’t have to strain his body all day or deal with crappy schools who can’t afford proper accommodations. But, no, his mother mentioned a few weeks ago that he is 23 years old! 23! I’m 25! he’s two years younger than me, keep that in mind. At this point, things have escalated a lot. Our cat doesn’t come in the mornings when he’s called anymore. I will go days without seeing him, or being able to get him inside. This has caused his skin outbreaks to get very severe in the spring and summer, and it makes me constantly worried about him. I’m used to seeing him throughout the day every day, not once every 2-3 days. That’s not a safe way to monitor a cat. When our cat does come inside, he sneaks into our front hallway and runs up to the neighbors front door. He tore up their door seal, scratching to be let in. The mom complained to my husband about it, and my husband offered to replace it. She said that it was fine, but that we needed to keep a better eye out for him. I spoke with her the next day and told her once again that we would replace the seal, she declined, but that he really should stop being let into their apartment. I gave her my number, and told her to text me if he comes to their door again and that I would come and get him. She never messages me first. The only time she’ll text me is when I text her, asking her if she’s seen my cat because I haven’t been able to find him in days. She’ll then reply and say that he’s in their apartment. After I asked her to not let him be up there! Then, about two weeks ago, a nightmare situation happened. Our cat got hurt pretty badly on his neck. He should’ve gone to the vet, but I didn’t even know that it happened! The boy upstairs came and knocked on our door and told my husband about it. My husband then went and got our cat, saw that the wound was already mostly healed, and asked the boy how long he’d known about it. When the boy couldn’t give my husband a straight answer, my husband told him thank you for letting us know, but to stop taking him upstairs. The boy just brought our cat back upstairs a few days later after he was all better and allowed to go outside again! Now, the mom has stated to me several times that she doesn’t want our cat up there. But her behavior doesn’t match what she says, at all. She only ever says this when we confront her. She says that she refuses to buy him a litter box, even though her son keeps asking her, like that’s supposed to make us feel better. And she says that she doesn’t want to get in trouble with the land lord for the cat scratching things up. Now, I think this is an important thing to note. Our cat is a TERRIBLE hunter. Like, actually god awful. And, he has digestive issues, and is on a special diet. We told our upstairs neighbor this, and asked her to, please, never feed him. Tell me why he stayed at a consistent 11 pounds up until he started going to their apartment. At his last vet appointment, our cat was 14 pounds and he’s gotten way bigger since then. Either he had a MAJOR breakthrough with his hunting capabilities, or someone else is feeding him. He also has a flea allergy, and his flea medicine isn’t as effective when he’s overweight. Yes, he’s microchipped, and the neighbors know this. But I genuinely don’t know what to do. The son blatantly ignores us when we confront him, the mom will say one thing but never really enforce what she says, and the son just does whatever he wants when she’s at work. I’m not sure if he has any mental disabilities or not, I’ve never asked. But this is getting to a point where it’s jeopardizing our cat’s health and wellbeing. I also just really miss my cat. I want to spend Christmas with him, not spend Christmas wondering where he is. I genuinely don’t know what I can do to get our neighbors to stop treating our cat like he’s theirs. We’ve confronted them several times, and I don’t want to be rude out of fear that they might retaliate using my cat. But my husband has been rude, several times, and nothing has changed. Maybe I should consult a different vet and give keeping him indoors another try? We’ve tried twice in the past, and we all just ended up miserable, but maybe we should try again? I just wish we could go back to how things used to be before our neighbors moved in upstairs. Edit/summary for the people who can’t read: Our cat followed routine and was perfectly safe for 2 years before this family moved in. He doesn’t want to go and live with them, and I’m not interested in sharing ownership of MY cat. He is very expensive and very high maintenance and they have already proved that they can’t take proper care of him. Also, we have rescued 2 other strays that have shown up in our back porch and offered to give them to the upstairs neighbors so that they could have their own cat. The mom declined both kittens, and we ended up giving them over to a local rescue. This boy had a weird obsession with MY cat, and I don’t know how to stop it. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Can you make him a cattery? OOP: Unfortunately not, we’re not allowed to put anything outside that can’t be picked up within the same day. We wanted to get a sandbox for our toddler and our landlord said no because it would be a fire hazard and/or in the way of mowers. If and when we buy a house, though, a catio will be our first investment. (editor's note: cattery = any building, collection of buildings or property in which cats are housed, maintained, cared for, and bred) Commenter 2: Wait get a cat camera so u can monitor him for his safety so u know what’s going on idk if im tripping or does that family feel iffy? Like I get cats go to other houses but I find the cat getting injured sus lowkey and the kid coming back with it… idk my heart goes out for u it’s hard to manage this. But im saying 100% get the cat camera my cousin got one lol u can record and speak to ur cat etc a good way to know if your cat goes missing too. OOP: I didn’t think about it like that, but it does sound weird when I think about it. Our cat has never come home with an injury like that because he generally doesn’t really leave our yard. A camera is a really good idea! Definitely gonna look into it! Commenter 3: I have to admit, the part of the story where you guffaw at the guy upstairs being 23 but clearly mentally disabled did not sit right with me. Age is irrelevant here. He just knows the kitty wants to hang out, he’s not being malicious, cut him some slack. I agree with other posters that part of having an indoor/outdoor cat is that there are risks involved. Today he’s chilling with the neighbor safely. Tomorrow he could be hit by a car, attacked by a predator, run away, or any number of things that come with being outside. What happens if the neighbors follow your wishes and don’t let him in and he finds some other place away from home where you DONT have someone to text and ask for him back? OOP: I don’t know that he is mentally disabled. We’ve spoken with him on numerous occasions and I’ve never really gotten that vibe. Plus, his mom has never mentioned it. She talks about his physical disability often and will share personal details about her daughter’s therapy when I’ve only met her daughter maybe twice. If she’s that big of an over sharer, wouldn’t she have mentioned if her son was mentally disabled? Also, wouldn’t she have given that as a reason to why my cat is still being taken into her house after we’ve asked both of them not to? Our cat followed routine for 2 years before this boy started being weirdly possessive over him. Commenter 4: Your neighbor’s behavior is not normal. I would worry about the cat experiencing abuse. Part of abuse is often to love bomb before and after periods of aggression, so the cat won’t necessarily be afraid of the person. I would be really concerned about this guy. OOP: That’s something I’m becoming more and more concerned about as I read comments and think back on certain instances. Like, I’ve been told that he really loves being in their apartment, but I’ve never actually seen it for myself. Commenter 5: Get an Air Tag for his collar to monitor where he is, when you see him at the neighbours, go get him. That’s the only thing you can do aside from keeping him indoors. OOP: We talked to his vet about an Air Tag, but she said it’s a hazard for cats because they can get snagged suffocate from the collar chocking them.   Update: December 30, 2025 (six days later) the neighbors have slowly been adopting our cat, and I don’t know what to do: UPDATE First of all, thank you to the few who were actually kind and who left some very helpful information and suggestions in the comments. To the people who were saying that I should just let my neighbors steal my cat, that I don’t love him, or that he doesn’t love me: fuck. you. Also, to the commenters that asked: yes, my cat does interact with my other neighbors. And, no, he’s not a nuisance. He knows 2 of their work schedules and will wait on the sidewalk for affection when he knows they’re going to be coming and going from their apartments to the parking lot. I also have an elderly neighbor who my cat will follow to the mailboxes every day when he goes to get his mail. All of my neighbors think that it’s adorable and joke with us frequently about how we have the most affectionate cat in the neighborhood. But he’s never gone up to anyone’s apartment. He won’t even go inside the other building because he knows it’s not his. This made me reconsider what I’ve been told from my neighbors vs what I’ve seen with my own eyes. Like, I’ve been told that he loves being in the upstairs apartment, but it doesn’t really line up with everything else I know about my cat. The same day I wrote my post I found my cat with yet another strange injury. And it really made me think back on the comments who found it strange that he went 2 years without any injuries aside from a cut here or a scab there, but now he seemed to be getting them more and more frequently. And it made me wonder if my neighbor was either intentionally hurting him, or setting up scenarios in which my cat could get hurt. My husband disagrees with this possibility, but we’re both considering that maybe our cat is a few years older than his original vet’s estimate. It’s really hard to tell the age of a cat once they hit adulthood, and we were told 3 years ago that he was likely between ages 2-3, but that she wouldn’t be surprised if that estimate was off by 2-3 years. If my vet was correct, then that would make my cat around 5-6 right now, but his behavior, how often he’s been getting hurt, and him spending more time indoors leads us to believe that he may be closer to 8 or 9 years old. This would also explain why a lot of his medical conditions are getting worse with age. So, we’ve committed to trying once again to convert him to be an indoor cat. It’s been well over a year and a half since we last tried, and we’ve rescued yet another kitten this Christmas who our cat has slowly been grooming and parenting over. We were going to send this one to the rescue like we did with the others, but the rescue was full, so we decided to just keep her. And she is terrified of the outdoors which seems to be encouraging our cat to stay inside with her as well. But, just in case, I bought a camera. We do have a 4-month-old puppy who has to go out every hour and a half, as he’s still potty training. And this is usually when my cat escapes outside. So, in case my cat escapes, I bought a motion detection camera like one commenter suggested. This way, even if my cat goes outside, I can keep a better eye on him and keep a better eye on my neighbor. I don’t intend to spy on them, but if I see our neighbor coming into the yard and trying to carry my cat inside, I’ll be able to catch him in the act and intervene. We also plan to be much more confrontational about our cat, because being nice about it hasn’t worked. Thank you again to the commenters who gave helpful suggestions. I feel like we have a much better course of action planned, when, before, I was in a state of panic and distress and had no idea how to even begin solving the issue. I feel so much more prepared now and I’m ready to fight for my cat. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Your apartment lets you have 3 pets? OOP: Lol, actually we have 4 pets, and as long as we pay for our own pet damages, he doesn’t care. We live in a very hands-off area, which has its pros and cons Commenter 2: I'm not going to give you the same "all cats should be indoor cats" diatribe others are, because it's clear you know that and love your cat. Instead I'll suggest that you have leverage here you aren't using. Wait until your cat is in their apartment, and call your landlord. Or, if the cat is chipped, call the cops. Or, you know the cat is upstairs with them, so you spend an hour banging on your ceiling with something. You need to get aggressive with these thieves and start making their lives harder until they comply. OOP: We’re trying again to convert him to be an indoors only cat, but if he gets back outside and they try to take our cat. We’re going to start doing more drastic things like this. He is microchipped, so there’s no issues there! Commenter 3: Stop buying more pets until you’ve trained you cat to be an indoor one OOP: We’ve never bought a single pet. They just sorta come to us and we’re like “Well, we’ll give you a loving home!” Our neighborhood is a prime drop off spot, especially for cats. We’ve already sent 2 to a local rescue this year, but our local rescue is currently full. Also, we’ve been very proactive about keeping the cat inside. And I’ve been all over my husband about keeping the back door closed! Commenter 4: I have seen anyone suggest this, but please get Feliway plug-ins for your home. They are odorless pheromones to help with anxiety for cats. It may help your cat stay indoors without him spraying. OOP: I’ve never heard of this! Definitely gonna have to look this up! Thanks!   DISCLAIMER: OOP HAS UPDATED AFTER THE BoRU WAS POSTED SO PER RULES UPDATE IS INCLUDED ----NEW UPDATE---- Editor's note: OOP has made an appearance in this BoRU thread. She granted me permission to add her updated comment to the post Small Update (in comments): January 8, 2026 (10 days later from the previous update) Hi, I’m the original OP, and yes, I did delete my post after getting absolutely flamed in the original comments. But I am happy to report that our upstairs neighbor is finally cooperating with us! We had a heart to heart with the mom, and she said shes willing to help be more enforcing with her son. Last night, our cat ran out the back door when we were bringing in groceries (it was a stupid mistake, I know), and I texted her immediately asking her that if she sees him to please text me and not let him inside her apartment. She was at work at the time (around 6pm), but then texted me at 11 when she got home that her son did in fact bring our cat upstairs. She told us immediately and we got him back in our apartment! My husband also overheard her absolutely chewing her son out as he went to collect our cat, so I hope it made an impact on him. How the neighbor boy managed to catch him when I couldn’t, I have no idea. But I am suspecting that maybe he has some sort of food that my cat isn’t allowed to have and that’s how he lures my cat away. It would explain why my cat doesn’t run, and would explain the weight gain. But, at least the mom is being cooperative for now, and we still plan to transition our cat to be an indoor cat. We can’t control someone else’s grown son, and we don’t want to persecute a whole house for one guy’s neglectful actions. So, keeping him indoors is just for the best. While I did get flamed in the comments of the original post, they had a point. I was prioritizing my cat’s happiness over his health, and that is irresponsible. I also had a bunch of family over for the holidays and after a conversation with my stepsister, and a bunch of mean ass comments on Reddit, I realized that my house has gotten a lot fuller and a lot louder since we first got our sensitive cat. When we first rescued him 3.5 years ago, it was just him and our axolotl. So, we’ve decided to make him his own custom space in our bedroom for him to get away and have some quiet time. He’s our only pet who’s allowed in our bedroom, and our closet is the perfect space to build him his own custom climbing space. I don’t know if this comment will reach anyone, but thank y’all for being a much kinder reddit community, and I hope this is the update y’all were hoping for. This will most likely be an ongoing thing for us until we finally get the house of our dreams, but I feel so much better now that my cat has been removed from such a dangerous and difficult situation.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA-biggirlprob I(26F) was humiliated in front of my fiancé(35M) by my best friend(27F). I am not sure if I should forgive her. How should I handle this? Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: Death of a loved one, body shaming, degradation and humiliation MOOD SPOILER: Horrific and enraging Original Post March 16, 2024 I will do my best to keep this to as few words as possible. I have a small group of people I consider my best friends that I have known all my life. I'll use fake names for them Beth, Stac and Gwen. Of the three only Gwen is married and or in a relationship. I'm a big girl 5’3 260 pounds. I've always had issues with my weight and had self esteem issues. I was always told you have such a beautiful face and if you were smaller I would date you. I've been in a few relationships where it was obvious that my boyfriends at the time were ashamed to be seen with me. They would never hold my hand in public and never posted pictures of us together on Instagram and Facebook. My luck on dating apps consisted of getting ghosted or just wanting sex and I am embarrassed to say that I allowed myself to be used by some guys. Eventually I stopped responding to most messages. Three years ago I met my fiancé, Kyle, at one of my nephews' soccer games. Kyle, was the coach and approached me afterwards. He asked me if I was ever going to reply to his message. I was confused and he said he messaged me a week prior and answered a question I had on my POF profile. That's when I remembered his message and I got embarrassed. I told him that I had been busy and he asked me if I had any plans for later that night. My sister and nephew both liked him and had told me as much. I agreed and exchanged numbers with him even though I felt like he was out of my league. Kyle is average sized and in shape. To this day I don't know why he didn't walk out on me on that date. I got it into my head that he was only after sex and might have some big girl fetish. We met up for an early dinner at a casual Mexican restaurant and within five minutes I asked him “are you just looking for a hookup because you have a thing for fat girls?” He shook his head and told me he was interested because of things I listed on my profile like how I liked soccer, my favorite wine, TV shows and that my photos I posted showed that I like to travel. He led most of the conversation and tried to get me to open up and ask questions. He would gently touch my hand from time to time and tried flirting. Somehow, he asked to see me again and the second date went a lot better. I found out he was a widower that lost his wife and two month old son in a car crash a decade before. He had tried dating off and on for a few years but nothing serious came of it. He worked in the field I got my degree in but had no luck getting hired into. Within three months we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My friends and family were thrilled and his family welcomed me in even his former in laws who he still considered family. All except Beth. Beth, when I told her, kept asking me if I was sure about him. She asked if he wasn't just using for sex, which had yet to happen. Then it was well he probably doesn't want to have sex with you. When I mentioned that he holds my hand in public and would pull me just a bit closer to him when we would go out for drinks when guys would walk towards us, suddenly it was he was controlling. Eventually, Kyle met my three best friends and they all liked him immediately and Beth said he was a keeper. He helped me get hired at another company in my field starting at 70k plus benefits after I politely declined an opportunity to work alongside him. I say all this because since Kyle has come into my life he has shown me nothing but love, affection, grace and kindness. He has also helped me start to get past my insecurities. I was over 300 pounds when I met him and now I'm at 260. My initial fears of being some fetish of his are gone and he has been there in every way I could ever want. A few days ago we hosted a dinner with Beth, Stac, Gwen and her husband. Kyle and Gwen's husband Mike had become friends and they did all the cooking and clean up. Everything was going good and we were all relaxing on the back porch drinking some cocktails when Beth asked me in front of everyone. “Why do you tolerate that picture of Kyle with his dead wife and son?” I was absolutely mortified. Kyle looked upset but was keeping his composure. I explained that it was the only picture he had of the three of them together and that I would never ask him to hide it because that was his wife and son. That he loved them and that I know Kyle loves me and that she was being rude and needed to call an uber to leave. She obviously had too much to drink and didn't seem like she wanted to leave. Then she absolutely embarrassed me when she brought up a humiliation I had endured with an ex during the lowest point in my life that I hadn't told Kyle about. “I bet keeping the picture up was his idea and you went along with like when Jeff would make you wear a pig mask and oink while he fucked you!” Kyle absolutely exploded on her and yelled that she “get the fuck out of our house.” Mike and Gwen had to drag a now crying Beth out with Stac following them. When they left I just started bawling and looked at Kyle and started to repeat that I was sorry and if he didn't want me anymore that I understood. All my insecurities that I worked so hard to overcome came flooding back. He just hugged me and kissed the top of my head and told me what I did before doesn't bother him. It was Beth humiliating me that pissed him off. He told me that it's up to me if I remain friends with her but he doesn't want to be around Beth anymore. He cleaned up the patio and held me as I fell asleep crying. Today I texted Beth that we needed to talk. We met up for brunch and she was very embarrassed about her behavior but I told her I don't think I can be her friend. She then started to blame Kyle for our friendship ending and that he was “fucked in the head for making you look at his dead wife and kid. Don't throw away our friendship over him.” I got up and paid for my food and left. Gwen and Stace don't want to be in the middle but agree that Beth was in the wrong and that they are happy that I found the love of my life and hope one day things will return to normal. I told them that I won't be upset if they hangout with Beth but I don't want to be included if she is with them. They were fine with that. Beth was my first friend and someone I always looked up to. She held me as I cried when my first “boyfriend” left me a week after I lost my virginity to him because he was dared to date me and sleep with me. Now I'm wavering about wanting to give her another chance. We have so much history and amazing memories. Kyle said he would support me either way but he was a hard no on being around Beth outside our wedding if I wanted her there. I'm so torn on what to do because she was drunk but still she said those words and they cut me to the core. Should I forgive her or cut her out of my life? TL:DR- I'm a big girl in a relationship with a fit guy. One of my best friends brought up my fiancés dead wife and son in a rude way and brought up a sexual act I performed with an ex when I was 20 in front of other friends and fiancé after a dinner. She was drunk and I don't know if I should forgive her. RELEVANT COMMENTS Aussiebiblophile Beth is jealous as fuck that you are in a loving relationship and getting married. She 100% thinks bad of you, thinks she’s better and wondering why it’s happening to you and not her. She is constantly trying to sabotage your relationship by getting in your head with her bullshit questions and opinions. When that didn’t work she attacked your fiancé directly using the one thing that might push him away and when that failed she humiliated you by exposing something terrible to get him to leave you. She is no friend. Drop her and be happy with your remaining friends and fiancé. OOP Thank you! I'm starting to open my eyes to who she really is. I don't need her in my life. Reading the comments and thinking back has been revealing. ~ janabanana67 I would not have someone like Beth in my life. She revealed something so private and personal to hurt you. It sounds like she is jealous. In many ways, she sounds like the men who used you. She may have liked being the thinner friend. Now you have met a good man while she is single and she can't stand it. She wants you to herself. She is filled with jealously to the point she is hurting you deeply and that is not OK. If you were to consider having her back in your life, she needs to get therapy and publicly apologize for being a raging asshole to everyone at the party. She needs to explain herself and why she was so cruel. Until she gets her act together, I would steer clear of her. OOP So all of my friends are on the bigger side but even after my weight loss I am still alot bigger. Beth is the type of curvy that alot of men go for these days and absolutely gorgeous but now I'm seeing that she is an ugly person on the inside. Now that I look back she was always complaining about her relationships. I just never thought in a million years she would do this to me and that she would ever be jealous of me. I always looked up to her and wished my body was like hers. Thank you for responding. ~ Poppiesatnight She was never your friend. Friends celebrate their friends victories. She was using you to feel better about herself. She liked you low. And now that you had something good going, she needed to sabotage that. Don’t take her back. You now see who she was this whole time. Believe it. OOP Yes, I can see this now. Just hurt and crushed and what she said about Kyle's late wife and son hurt my heart because she attacked him. Update 1 March 17, 2024 Minor update- I just got a text from Gwen who told me that she and Mike have cut Beth out of their lives. Mike was furious at Beth and got pissed at Gwen for wanting to keep a friend like that. Gwen apologized for even considering keeping Beth as a friend. RELEVANT COMMENTS Careless_Welder_4048 Girl!!! I can’t believe the other girls still want to be friends with a monster. OOP Gwen is done with her. I haven't talked to Stace since right after the brunch with Beth. Now that I'm starting to get angry at what Beth did I hope Stace sees what Gwen saw. Careless_Welder_4048 Girl Gwen only apologized because her husband told her she was an idiot, she still wanted to be friends with her. I’ll be wary of all of them. Obviously Beth should not be considered a friend. OOP Maybe but I am willing to hear Gwen out. We have all been friends for 20 years and if I was ever considering forgiving Beth then I am willing to give Gwen and Stace a chance. They were 100% behind me dating Kyle right away where as Beth was hesitant and they havent bad mouthed people in front of me like Beth. So I think they deserve a chance. Final update March 17, 2024 I've stayed up too late reading and replying to comments. Thank you everyone for the kind words and for helping me realize that Beth doesn't care about me. I'm hurt, sad and angry and actually pitty the woman Beth became. Somewhere along the way the 7 year old Beth that stood up for me when kids would make fun of me and would share the snacks her mother packed for her died and I will mourn the loss of that Beth. Now I have to go crawl into bed and cuddle with my man! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Haunting_Beauty_229 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1 [New Update]: AITAH for telling an exchange student to not date my son and possibly ending my marriage? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: abuse, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, mental health issues, grooming, emotional manipulation, racism, misogyny, child abandonment Mood Spoilers: depressing and horrifying RECAP Original Post: June 8, 2025 So, I (40F) have two kids, my daughter Liz (12) and son Toby (19). I'm going to be honest, Toby has become a perverted degenerate. Because Toby is his son, my husband (54) tended to spoil Toby a lot and indulge his interest (which included 18+ movies and my husband's stash of old Playboys). My husband would say 'he's a teenager, let him be' despite me telling him that Toby was growing to be a degenerate. This was ESPECIALLY true for Asian women. We had an Asian cleaner (we're pretty well off), who Toby would hit on and harass until she smacked him across the face when he tried to lift her skirt. My husband wanted to press charges, but I threatened to divorce him if he did and I would make sure everybody knew what a pervert Toby was. I made sure to give her a nice bonus before referring her to a friend, and then hired an older man in her place. Toby sulked for three months following that. I can already hear the comments "why threaten divorce when you could just do it", and it's because I didn't want to uproot Liz. I have been saving a small chunk of the weekly grocery money since she was born and have a lot saved in a secret account. I originally planned to get the best divorce lawyer once Liz goes to college and leave him, but considering everything that happened these past few hours, I may need to move my plans up. I realized I was basically groomed not long after Toby began exhibiting that problematic behavior, and I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary, as my husband is white and I am Latina. Most of the community knows I was groomed, so I have a lot of friends in the neighborhood because of it. They serve as my eyes, and it keeps Toby in check while in public (something that he makes clear annoys him). Anyway, our neighbor recently had his prior exchange student come back for a visit (he hosted a few years back). For the sake of the post, I will call her Kimi. Kimi is incredibly bright and happy, she's always smiling and waving at people in the street. This would be all fine and dandy if she hadn't done so to Toby, who she caught coming back from hanging out with friends. She was on my neighbor's front porch, having tea with my neighbor's wife, when they caught each other's eyes. To be honest, Toby was smitten, but I didn't trust it. I noticed he and Kimi would talk for hours on the porch the following week. And we even had her over for tea a few times over the course of that week. Liz absolutely adores her, and the two would talk about fashion and the newest anime and manhwas (I have no idea if I spelt that right, but the Korean version of manga). Fast forward to two days ago and we're having tea with Kimi, my neighbor's wife, and I. Kimi asked if she could possibly date Toby, and both the neighbor's wife and I froze up. I put down my cup and I was blunt, I told her Toby was a lot like his father in the fact that he doesn't see women as a gentleman should. I brought up the Asian maid, and told her Toby may look at her the same way, even if he doesn't seem to right now. I then explained my husband was the same way, love bombing and cherishing me, and I realized too late the kind of man he was. My neighbor's wife cut in, saying that she knows I had tried to set Toby straight, but some nature is too strong to change. I then finished saying that if she did decide to date Toby, I would be honored. I also informed her I'd have her back if Toby ever tried to pull anything shady, and so would most of the neighborhood. Kimi silently nodded, seemingly understanding. Now, Kimi is ignoring Toby. She came over this morning to pick up Liz for a shopping day, and Toby tried to say hi. But, she just ignored him and told me goodbye before Liz shut the door. Toby mumbled a slur while pouting, and I had enough. I rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of 'and that's why I warned her about you'. I honestly didn't mean to slip up, but I was exhausted from not sleeping (I have chronic migraines). Toby looked at me, and it looked like heartbreak. But, I looked at him straight in the eyes and told him 'I tried to make you a gentleman, but you and your father kept acting like perverted asses. If you want to blame anybody, blame your father. He allowed you to become this way'. Toby stormed to his room and I got a text from my husband an hour later, asking why I would sabotage my own son like that. I texted back basically the same thing, that I had enough of Toby looking at women like objects and that if he had been a good father, I wouldn't view my son as a pervert. We had a chance to fix his behavior, but he enabled him. My husband is now furious with me, and Toby has yet to leave his room. Liz and Kimi are still out, and I texted my neighbor's wife to ask if the two can sleepover at her place since I have a feeling my husband is already going to start a fight with me. The neighbor offered to come over and act as a mediator and shield (he's a big guy), and I took him up at that offer. I'm shaking, I'm scared, and I probably imploded my marriage. All because I warned a very kind girl about the kind of boy my son is. I feel like I'm about to throw up, I have no idea what my husband is going to do or say. All I know is he's mad, Toby is mad, but Liz and Kimi are safe. My nieghbor said he's going to be over before my husband gets home, and I honestly am left wondering if what I did is actually for the best. AITAH for warning an exchange student about my son and ruining my marriage? AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA, and holy shit, get the entire cavalry. The entire neighborhood is going to want a piece of him if he hurts you. I’m so sorry this is happening to you OP! Does Liz know her brother’s a pervert? OOP: You're sweet, thank you. Liz does know, she never has friends over because she is scared Toby will try something. Commenter 2: Are you sure Toby hasn't tried something with his sister? Or cousins? It isn't too late to teach Toby about boundaries and consent. What is legal and what is not. OOP: My husband is an only child and all my family lives in my home country, so visits are rare. I don't think he's tried anything with his cousins, and even if he did, pretty sure his uncles and male cousins would beat the crap out of him. I have talked to Liz and she told me he's never done anything to her or her friends, but they say he gives off 'creep vibes' and just watches them from a distance. Liz knows if anything does happen, I'm safe to talk to. Toby has assaulted people before, he was expelled from school twice before 16 for touching staff and peers (that was one of the first times I had him tested). So, he has a track record of this kind of behavior. It's why the whole neighborhood watches him. Ever since his second expulsion, he hasn't had any legal trouble. The people he assaulted before dropped the charges once he was expelled and settled out of court both times. Downvoted Commenter: Sounds like you’re taking your anger of your husband out on your son. The son sounds like his had problems, but keeping him an incel probably isn’t helping. OOP: I tried for his entire teen years to get him to do something else aside from staying home. From clubs to sports, he didn't want to do any of it. He didn't like any of the community things (like fairs or markets) either. Even the library's book club didn't work out. I've had him tested for any mental things (like ADHD or Autism) and he came out with nothing. I have no idea how to help him and my husband just enabled him. I love Toby, I just don't know what to do anymore   Update #1: July 11, 2025 (a little over a month later) Hello everybody, I just wanted to clarify a few things before I update you all. Firstly, Toby is my son (I think a lot of people were under the impression that he was just my husband's, I guess I worded that strangely). Second, everything I have done to try to prevent any form of escalation of Toby's behavior was dismissed by my husband. Any punishments were immediately reversed when he got home. Thirdly, I got Toby tested for any form of mental disability after his first expulsion (he's been expelled twice), and he is neurotypical as far as the test go (I got him tested for ADHD, ASD, OCD, and BPD). Fourth, my husband has never been violent towards my children and I, if he's upset, he'll direct that energy to something else or activity. Fifth, it feels like a lot of people thought I was 'stealing from my family' by skimming money from the grocery budget. But, it was just spare change and notes from after my shopping trips. It's not like I was stealing the entire grocery budget. And finally, yes, I can hear and understand the 'why haven't you left' or 'why didn't you do this?'. It's taken a lot of talking between my family, friends, and now you people of Reddit, for me to realize Liz and I didn't deserve this, ESPECIALLY Liz. So, now for the update, I am filing for divorce. I packed Liz up and took her back to my home country for 'girls time' with her cousins. While there, I made and had a virtual appointment with two different lawyers from the same firm. They are currently drafting the paperwork, but they also recommended I talk to local law enforcement about a possible protective order against Toby and my husband. Given their behavioral tendencies, I may consider it. And before everyone comes after me for 'abandoning Toby', this hurts me too. But, at this point, I have to protect Liz. And if I plan to have full custody of her (which the lawyers said was highly guaranteed if Toby continues to live with my husband), I need to separate myself from them. I'm still in my home country, talking to my family about everything. Just as I confirmed before, Toby has not gone after any of his cousins (I asked since I needed any additional accounts for legal reasons). Right now, I'm ok, but honestly, I don't know if I'll update again. I just really want to put this entire situation at rest, so, I may see you guys again or I may not. But, thank you all for the support, advice, and courage. Comments Commenter 1: Please be careful. Your husband may have international law on his side if you file for divorce while out of the country. Especially if you and Liz are not citizens of whatever country you are currently visiting. You need to make sure that the legal firm you are working with is very familiar with international divorce and custody laws while you pursue this while outside the country you and Liz have been living in. Also, as a follow-up to your last post, no, "degeneracy" is not hereditary. Fetishizing exotic women is not hereditary. These behaviors are not coded in DNA; they are taught, and your son was taught to behave this way by his father. Which also means you're going to need to think about your role in your son's life; I'd suggest you prioritize therapy for you and your daughter (separately) ASAP. Commenter 2: It was so obvious from the first post that OP is an abused wife. Her husband has not had to get violent with her. The fact that he’s violent around her and the children is abuse. The fact that she needs to skim money from the groceries to have an escape fund indicates financial abuse. Enabling an encouraging the sons degenerate and misogynistic behavior is abuse. He has been abusing his wife and his children, especially his daughter for years. And the fact that anybody would accuse her of stealing from her family because she holds on to a couple of dollars from the grocery budget is indicative of the way, so many people Think that it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your family financially. I am glad OP is getting out. I hope that her family has her back and her husband hasn’t been financially supporting her family in her country so that they encourage her to stay. Good luck OP!!! and make sure the lawyers go after every penny you can get Commenter 3: You’re doing the right thing by protecting Liz and yourself. It’s heartbreaking, but sometimes distance is the only way to truly create safety and peace. Wishing you strength moving forward.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update #2: July 26, 2025 (15 days later from the last update) Hello again, everybody. Just wished to keep everybody posted on the current situation, and thank those who support me in this difficult time. This update is luckily, more positive, and I am happy to say that I am not giving up on Toby! I am currently back in my husband's home country, I think people were under the impression I was going to take Liz back to my home country, but I've stated before that I don't want to uproot her. I just wished to look into legal matters and get my mind sorted. I had a few friends in the neighborhood who offered to let me and Liz move into their place, and I took one up on the offer (she lives closer to Liz's school so it works out better that way). I served my husband divorce papers two days after my last post and moved Liz and I out the day of. And two days after we moved out, Toby was found lurking outside of Liz's school. He was having a mental breakdown and screaming, and was detained for trespassing. As far as I know and what witnesses have told me and the police, he was a complete wreck. I was also told he had been taken to the hospital for a psyche evaluation and was placed in a 72 hour hold. I wasn't allowed to visit him and according to the nurses and doctor, my husband made no attempts to visit him or even speak to the doctor. Toby was diagnosed with a mixed personality disorder, as he showed classic symptoms from narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder. His emotional breakdown came from the fact that I left, and when I was finally able to see him, it broke my heart. He kept crying and saying he didn't know why he was like this, and I just held him. He hasn't cried that hard since he was a child and it honestly gave me a slight sliver of hope that Toby could still be a part of my life. I sat in on his next therapy session (mandatory while in the facility). And he apologized for how he acted, but I told him that the apology came a little too late. I told him that I am happy that he wants to get better, but I needed space. That our contact wouldn't be nonexistent, just limited (one message I received actually told me that I could send him a voice message, and I think that is a wonderful idea). I told him that if he proved he could be better, we can have full blown contact again. I am currently working with the doctors to find a suitable facility for him, as I made it clear that if he went back to my husband, he would never get better. I figured a voice memo a month or maybe a video call, just so he doesn't think I've given up on him. And in six months, maybe a year, hopefully he has the tools, coping mechanisms, and medicine he needs. I also helped him look at online classes, just so he can branch out again and try to get an education. So, that's where things stand right now. No updates on my husband, I don't know if he got a lawyer or what he's planning. But, I am safe, Liz is doing good, and Toby is getting better. That's all I have for now. I realized I was too hard on Toby, and I plan to not only acknowledge that in my first video message, but apologize for it. A lot of the comments opened my eyes as to how hard I was on him, even tho most of his behavior wasn't just his fault, but mine and my husband's (or I guess future ex husband). Thank you all for your support, advice, and comments. Harsh or not, I'm glad I posted on here. Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: So sad that Toby had a breakdown, but it sounds like it was for the better since now he's getting help. Glad you and Liz are out and safe, but no word from husband, even with his son in the hospital is worrying. Hope all gets better now. OOP: I also think the silence is worrying, but I am going to enjoy the calm while I can. Commenter 2: Wishing you both stability and connection. 💛. If you find that your voice memos really help him process things, maybe you could try sending a couple more each month? Just a thought — it makes me sad to see stories like this. These disorders can be really intense, but as you said — with the right psych support, well-targeted therapy, and meds, I genuinely believe things can become more manageable over time. Functional, even. Hoping for an update in a year or two with some good news. 🍀. OOP:** That is a good idea! I will run it by his current doctor! Thank you for the advice! Commenter 3: I don't know if only contacting him once a month is a good idea. You're leaving a lot of space for your husband to come back in and swoop him into his manipulations. I think you do need to have more contact even if it hurts you, if you want to help him heal. Commenter 4: I'm happy you're not giving up on Toby and still want to protect both your children and yourself. I'm glad your daughter is happy and carefree and hope it remains like that. However. You need to have someone with her and someone with you wherever you go. The silence your husband is having issues threatening and he's for sure making a plan to destroy you all. So gather evidence from throughout the years and everything recently and keep two separate copies just in case. And please, please, get someone to go with your daughter and you at all times. Your STBEXH is gonna make a move and it will be drastic. He's being cornered, and animals are at its dangerous peak when they feel cornered and threatened. Get both of you "spy" GPS trackers in bracelets or something in case he gets one or both of you. Be always alert until someone can contact him.   Latest Update here: BoRU #3   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Haunting_Beauty_229 Originally posted to r/AITAH AITAH for telling an exchange student to not date my son and possibly ending my marriage? Trigger Warnings: abuse, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, mental health issues, grooming, emotional manipulation, racism, misogyny Mood Spoilers: depressing and horrifying Original Post: June 8, 2025 So, I (40F) have two kids, my daughter Liz (12) and son Toby (19). I'm going to be honest, Toby has become a perverted degenerate. Because Toby is his son, my husband (54) tended to spoil Toby a lot and indulge his interest (which included 18+ movies and my husband's stash of old Playboys). My husband would say 'he's a teenager, let him be' despite me telling him that Toby was growing to be a degenerate. This was ESPECIALLY true for Asian women. We had an Asian cleaner (we're pretty well off), who Toby would hit on and harass until she smacked him across the face when he tried to lift her skirt. My husband wanted to press charges, but I threatened to divorce him if he did and I would make sure everybody knew what a pervert Toby was. I made sure to give her a nice bonus before referring her to a friend, and then hired an older man in her place. Toby sulked for three months following that. I can already hear the comments "why threaten divorce when you could just do it", and it's because I didn't want to uproot Liz. I have been saving a small chunk of the weekly grocery money since she was born and have a lot saved in a secret account. I originally planned to get the best divorce lawyer once Liz goes to college and leave him, but considering everything that happened these past few hours, I may need to move my plans up. I realized I was basically groomed not long after Toby began exhibiting that problematic behavior, and I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary, as my husband is white and I am Latina. Most of the community knows I was groomed, so I have a lot of friends in the neighborhood because of it. They serve as my eyes, and it keeps Toby in check while in public (something that he makes clear annoys him). Anyway, our neighbor recently had his prior exchange student come back for a visit (he hosted a few years back). For the sake of the post, I will call her Kimi. Kimi is incredibly bright and happy, she's always smiling and waving at people in the street. This would be all fine and dandy if she hadn't done so to Toby, who she caught coming back from hanging out with friends. She was on my neighbor's front porch, having tea with my neighbor's wife, when they caught each other's eyes. To be honest, Toby was smitten, but I didn't trust it. I noticed he and Kimi would talk for hours on the porch the following week. And we even had her over for tea a few times over the course of that week. Liz absolutely adores her, and the two would talk about fashion and the newest anime and manhwas (I have no idea if I spelt that right, but the Korean version of manga). Fast forward to two days ago and we're having tea with Kimi, my neighbor's wife, and I. Kimi asked if she could possibly date Toby, and both the neighbor's wife and I froze up. I put down my cup and I was blunt, I told her Toby was a lot like his father in the fact that he doesn't see women as a gentleman should. I brought up the Asian maid, and told her Toby may look at her the same way, even if he doesn't seem to right now. I then explained my husband was the same way, love bombing and cherishing me, and I realized too late the kind of man he was. My neighbor's wife cut in, saying that she knows I had tried to set Toby straight, but some nature is too strong to change. I then finished saying that if she did decide to date Toby, I would be honored. I also informed her I'd have her back if Toby ever tried to pull anything shady, and so would most of the neighborhood. Kimi silently nodded, seemingly understanding. Now, Kimi is ignoring Toby. She came over this morning to pick up Liz for a shopping day, and Toby tried to say hi. But, she just ignored him and told me goodbye before Liz shut the door. Toby mumbled a slur while pouting, and I had enough. I rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of 'and that's why I warned her about you'. I honestly didn't mean to slip up, but I was exhausted from not sleeping (I have chronic migraines). Toby looked at me, and it looked like heartbreak. But, I looked at him straight in the eyes and told him 'I tried to make you a gentleman, but you and your father kept acting like perverted asses. If you want to blame anybody, blame your father. He allowed you to become this way'. Toby stormed to his room and I got a text from my husband an hour later, asking why I would sabotage my own son like that. I texted back basically the same thing, that I had enough of Toby looking at women like objects and that if he had been a good father, I wouldn't view my son as a pervert. We had a chance to fix his behavior, but he enabled him. My husband is now furious with me, and Toby has yet to leave his room. Liz and Kimi are still out, and I texted my neighbor's wife to ask if the two can sleepover at her place since I have a feeling my husband is already going to start a fight with me. The neighbor offered to come over and act as a mediator and shield (he's a big guy), and I took him up at that offer. I'm shaking, I'm scared, and I probably imploded my marriage. All because I warned a very kind girl about the kind of boy my son is. I feel like I'm about to throw up, I have no idea what my husband is going to do or say. All I know is he's mad, Toby is mad, but Liz and Kimi are safe. My nieghbor said he's going to be over before my husband gets home, and I honestly am left wondering if what I did is actually for the best. AITAH for warning an exchange student about my son and ruining my marriage? AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments Commenter 1: NTA, and holy shit, get the entire cavalry. The entire neighborhood is going to want a piece of him if he hurts you. I’m so sorry this is happening to you OP! Does Liz know her brother’s a pervert? OOP: You're sweet, thank you. Liz does know, she never has friends over because she is scared Toby will try something. Commenter 2: Are you sure Toby hasn't tried something with his sister? Or cousins? It isn't too late to teach Toby about boundaries and consent. What is legal and what is not. OOP: My husband is an only child and all my family lives in my home country, so visits are rare. I don't think he's tried anything with his cousins, and even if he did, pretty sure his uncles and male cousins would beat the crap out of him. I have talked to Liz and she told me he's never done anything to her or her friends, but they say he gives off 'creep vibes' and just watches them from a distance. Liz knows if anything does happen, I'm safe to talk to. Toby has assaulted people before, he was expelled from school twice before 16 for touching staff and peers (that was one of the first times I had him tested). So, he has a track record of this kind of behavior. It's why the whole neighborhood watches him. Ever since his second expulsion, he hasn't had any legal trouble. The people he assaulted before dropped the charges once he was expelled and settled out of court both times. Downvoted Commenter: Sounds like you’re taking your anger of your husband out on your son. The son sounds like his had problems, but keeping him an incel probably isn’t helping. OOP: I tried for his entire teen years to get him to do something else aside from staying home. From clubs to sports, he didn't want to do any of it. He didn't like any of the community things (like fairs or markets) either. Even the library's book club didn't work out. I've had him tested for any mental things (like ADHD or Autism) and he came out with nothing. I have no idea how to help him and my husband just enabled him. I love Toby, I just don't know what to do anymore   Update: July 11, 2025 (a little over a month later) Hello everybody, I just wanted to clarify a few things before I update you all. Firstly, Toby is my son (I think a lot of people were under the impression that he was just my husband's, I guess I worded that strangely). Second, everything I have done to try to prevent any form of escalation of Toby's behavior was dismissed by my husband. Any punishments were immediately reversed when he got home. Thirdly, I got Toby tested for any form of mental disability after his first expulsion (he's been expelled twice), and he is neurotypical as far as the test go (I got him tested for ADHD, ASD, OCD, and BPD). Fourth, my husband has never been violent towards my children and I, if he's upset, he'll direct that energy to something else or activity. Fifth, it feels like a lot of people thought I was 'stealing from my family' by skimming money from the grocery budget. But, it was just spare change and notes from after my shopping trips. It's not like I was stealing the entire grocery budget. And finally, yes, I can hear and understand the 'why haven't you left' or 'why didn't you do this?'. It's taken a lot of talking between my family, friends, and now you people of Reddit, for me to realize Liz and I didn't deserve this, ESPECIALLY Liz. So, now for the update, I am filing for divorce. I packed Liz up and took her back to my home country for 'girls time' with her cousins. While there, I made and had a virtual appointment with two different lawyers from the same firm. They are currently drafting the paperwork, but they also recommended I talk to local law enforcement about a possible protective order against Toby and my husband. Given their behavioral tendencies, I may consider it. And before everyone comes after me for 'abandoning Toby', this hurts me too. But, at this point, I have to protect Liz. And if I plan to have full custody of her (which the lawyers said was highly guaranteed if Toby continues to live with my husband), I need to separate myself from them. I'm still in my home country, talking to my family about everything. Just as I confirmed before, Toby has not gone after any of his cousins (I asked since I needed any additional accounts for legal reasons). Right now, I'm ok, but honestly, I don't know if I'll update again. I just really want to put this entire situation at rest, so, I may see you guys again or I may not. But, thank you all for the support, advice, and courage. Comments Commenter 1: Please be careful. Your husband may have international law on his side if you file for divorce while out of the country. Especially if you and Liz are not citizens of whatever country you are currently visiting. You need to make sure that the legal firm you are working with is very familiar with international divorce and custody laws while you pursue this while outside the country you and Liz have been living in. Also, as a follow-up to your last post, no, "degeneracy" is not hereditary. Fetishizing exotic women is not hereditary. These behaviors are not coded in DNA; they are taught, and your son was taught to behave this way by his father. Which also means you're going to need to think about your role in your son's life; I'd suggest you prioritize therapy for you and your daughter (separately) ASAP. Commenter 2: It was so obvious from the first post that OP is an abused wife. Her husband has not had to get violent with her. The fact that he’s violent around her and the children is abuse. The fact that she needs to skim money from the groceries to have an escape fund indicates financial abuse. Enabling an encouraging the sons degenerate and misogynistic behavior is abuse. He has been abusing his wife and his children, especially his daughter for years. And the fact that anybody would accuse her of stealing from her family because she holds on to a couple of dollars from the grocery budget is indicative of the way, so many people Think that it is perfectly acceptable to abuse your family financially. I am glad OP is getting out. I hope that her family has her back and her husband hasn’t been financially supporting her family in her country so that they encourage her to stay. Good luck OP!!! and make sure the lawyers go after every penny you can get Commenter 3: You’re doing the right thing by protecting Liz and yourself. It’s heartbreaking, but sometimes distance is the only way to truly create safety and peace. Wishing you strength moving forward.   Latest Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

So, I (40F) have two kids, my daughter Liz (12) and son Toby (19). I'm going to be honest, Toby has become a perverted degenerate. Because Toby is his son, my husband (54) tended to spoil Toby a lot and indulge his interest (which included 18+ movies and my husband's stash of old Playboys). My husband would say 'he's a teenager, let him be' despite me telling him that Toby was growing to be a degenerate. This was ESPECIALLY true for Asian women. We had an Asian cleaner (we're pretty well off), who Toby would hit on and harass until she smacked him across the face when he tried to lift her skirt. My husband wanted to press charges, but I threatened to divorce him if he did and I would make sure everybody knew what a pervert Toby was. I made sure to give her a nice bonus before referring her to a friend, and then hired an older man in her place. Toby sulked for three months following that. I can already hear the comments "why threaten divorce when you could just do it", and it's because I didn't want to uproot Liz. I have been saving a small chunk of the weekly grocery money since she was born and have a lot saved in a secret account. I originally planned to get the best divorce lawyer once Liz goes to college and leave him, but considering everything that happened these past few hours, I may need to move my plans up. I realized I was basically groomed not long after Toby began exhibiting that problematic behavior, and I think fetishizing 'exotic' women is hereditary, as my husband is white and I am Latina. Most of the community knows I was groomed, so I have a lot of friends in the neighborhood because of it. They serve as my eyes, and it keeps Toby in check while in public (something that he makes clear annoys him). Anyway, our nieghbor recently had his prior exchange student come back for a visit (he hosted a few years back). For the sake of the post, I will call her Kimi. Kimi is incredibly bright and happy, she's always smiling and waving at people in the street. This would be all fine and dandy if she hadn't done so to Toby, who she caught coming back from hanging out with friends. She was on my neighbor's front porch, having tea with my neighbor's wife, when they caught each other's eyes. To be honest, Toby was smitten, but I didn't trust it. I noticed he and Kimi would talk for hours on the porch the following week. And we even had her over for tea a few times over the course of that week. Liz absolutely adores her, and the two would talk about fashion and the newest anime and manhwas (I have no idea if I spelt that right, but the Korean version of manga). Fast forward to two days ago and we're having tea with Kimi, my neighbor's wife, and I. Kimi asked if she could possibly date Toby, and both the neighbor's wife and I froze up. I put down my cup and I was blunt, I told her Toby was a lot like his father in the fact that he doesn't see women as a gentleman should. I brought up the Asian maid, and told her Toby may look at her the same way, even if he doesn't seem to right now. I then explained my husband was the same way, love bombing and cherishing me, and I realized too late the kind of man he was. My neighbor's wife cut in, saying that she knows I had tried to set Toby straight, but some nature is too strong to change. I then finished saying that if she did decide to date Toby, I would be honored. I also informed her I'd have her back if Toby ever tried to pull anything shady, and so would most of the neighborhood. Kimi silently nodded, seemingly understanding. Now, Kimi is ignoring Toby. She came over this morning to pick up Liz for a shopping day, and Toby tried to say hi. But, she just ignored him and told me goodbye before Liz shut the door. Toby mumbled a slur while pouting, and I had enough. I rolled my eyes and said something along the lines of 'and that's why I warned her about you'. I honestly didn't mean to slip up, but I was exhausted from not sleeping (I have chronic migraines). Toby looked at me, and it looked like heartbreak. But, I looked at him straight in the eyes and told him 'I tried to make you a gentleman, but you and your father kept acting like perverted asses. If you want to blame anybody, blame your father. He allowed you to become this way'. Toby stormed to his room and I got a text from my husband an hour later, asking why I would sabotage my own son like that. I texted back basically the same thing, that I had enough of Toby looking at women like objects and that if he had been a good father, I wouldn't view my son as a pervert. We had a chance to fix his behavior, but he enabled him. My husband is now furious with me, and Toby has yet to leave his room. Liz and Kimi are still out, and I texted my neighbor's wife to ask if the two can sleepover at her place since I have a feeling my husband is already going to start a fight with me. The neighbor offered to come over and act as a mediator and shield (he's a big guy), and I took him up at that offer. I'm shaking, I'm scared, and I probably imploded my marriage. All because I warned a very kind girl about the kind of boy my son is. I feel like I'm about to throw up, I have no idea what my husband is going to do or say. All I know is he's mad, Toby is mad, but Liz and Kimi are safe. My nieghbor said he's going to be over before my husband gets home, and I honestly am left wondering if what I did is actually for the best. AITAH for warning an exchange student about my son and ruining my marriage? submitted by /u/Haunting_Beauty_229 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

Update: Holy cow, I was NOT expecting this volume of interaction! I’ve been busy with work and have handed off the tasks of my home to my best friend and girl friend to monitor before I can make it back home to further assess everything. We’ve followed the suggestions and have promptly put locks on the outdoor spigots as well as getting cameras installed on the side of the house. No sign of any funny business since the last known use, so I’m curious if anything has been made apparent to my neighbors. I say that because he’s typically outside walking in between our houses quite a bit, and so far I’ve only seen him come home from work and activity lighting from his front porch. Either way, I’m here for the plot/learning experience. Thank you so much to all of you in the comments and messages suggesting camera rig suggestions. Regardless of the outcome, this is something that should have been done from the start. I’ll try to report back in a couple days to see what we find with this usage report from the water company. So, I do a lot of travel work and leave my home frequently for weeks - sometimes months - at a time. Last month, I got a notice from my water company of an outstanding bill of $311. They call me and say “We believe you’ve sprung a leak. You’ve used 33,000 gallons of water in the last several weeks” while I was out of state. I have my girlfriend go to my place to make sure there’s no sink, faucet, toilet, etc. running. She DOES find that the plug on the downstairs toilet was caught and seeping a little water through, so in my naive mind I’m thinking “Well, maybe THAT’s it. I dunno how that would be 33k gallons, but…” I chalk it up to likely being something I did, because I don’t ever jump to suspecting foul play. Well, I just got hit with another notice, this time for $486.11! I immediately call the water company and ask them if someone could come out and check my meter for the record. They have a rep in the area who gladly comes over and looks and informs me that - in fact - my water is not currently running, the pressure is perfectly fine, and that there is no possibility there’s a leak. He says “It’s very obvious someone is turning your water on and off.” I’ll try to present the facts (which may or may not play a part in this) as they are without trying to sound too biased here: We both had our homes finished and closed within the same period of time, give or take a week. My water use in the 2.5 years I’ve been in my home has totaled (as of Friday) 136,000 gallons. 100,000 gallons of that has been used in the LAST TWO MONTHS while I’ve been completely away, with only my closest friends showing up to get the mail and just make sure everything’s good. My lawn has been dead for the last two years, because the cost of upkeep in my neighborhood is pretty high. I have a landscaper mow, trim and pull weeds, but he does not use the water whatsoever. My neighbor’s lawn looks like a golf course. It’s incredibly green, well watered and tended to. He’s usually out watering at least once a day. They checked his meter, and apparently he’s at 166,000 gallons of water use in the entire time he’s lived next to me. Only 30k gallons more than where I’m standing at, with a completely dead lawn. I told the water company everything I’m suspecting, and they said they couldn’t share much, but the rep on the phone DID tell me that his water use was “very low” these last couple of months. She was almost speechless when she spoke to the technician who went to my house, because he basically backed up my assumptions and asked “Hey, are you sure I’m at the right address? Because this guy’s lawn is like a desert, but the neighbor’s house looks insane.” The water company said they understand that I’m clearly not using all of this water, but I’m still responsible to pay it. I mean, I get that… Water was apparently used, and my county is in a stage 4 drought protocol. They basically said “you need to put up cameras and try to catch him for a civil suit.” After the technician looked at the pressure, he then turned off the customer/main valve (which sits outside on the border suspected neighbor’s side of the property). This is the ONLY main valve the homes in my subdivision have by default. I now see how this can be a MAJOR issue. The next day, the valve was turned back on and 200 gallons of more water was ran. I called the water company immediately again, and they said the only thing that can be done is to either terminate the service, or try to catch him/file a police report. Around the beginning of the first outrageous billing cycle, my landscaper texts me and asks “is your neighbor racist?” because he’s allegedly been harassing him. The issue is that my last landscaper also said that and then abruptly quit, leaving me SOL while I was also previously away for the holidays. Maybe this is irrelevant, but it does show how he is about his lawn and property line. I respectfully told my neighbor that he needs to stop because it’s causing me stress while I’m trying to work. He got incredibly defensive and basically said “I can do whatever I want from my porch; he’s blowing grass on my side of the lawn and I’m sick of it!” (Whoopdee doo) This was on March 6th, so I’m wondering if there will be a significant correlation around then. At the end of February, he started putting up a fence barrier right next to my faucet line. This was about a week before confronting him about my landscaper and around the time of when the excessive use started. The water company is issuing me a detailed 90-day report, which will show which days there was water use, what time of the day and how much was being ran. The unfortunate part is that it takes two weeks (10 business days) to get this report back. I technically can’t rule out my other neighbor, except his lawn is also pretty much always been dead. He’s also a renter and has hardly ever been seen using water outside whatsoever in the entire time he’s been here. He’s also a fed, and I really doubt he’d risk his entire career to steal water from me for… I have zero idea what he’d be using it for, because it’s clearly not going into HIS lawn. 😂 I didn’t have side cameras installed on the house, since he’s the kind of neighbor who’s always watching and “looking out.” I’ve had my friends install some blink cameras while he was at work. However, they aren’t really picking up a lot of activity without being more visible. He’s a disgruntled retired vet with some definitely anger issues. He’s the kind of dude who thinks the public parking in front of his house is exclusively his, and he’ll start an actual fight with neighbors over it, however he’s literally parked in a neighbor’s driveway and was flabbergasted when the neighbor showed up in the middle of the night and told him to gtfo. He actually had the wherewithal to come to me and say “the nerve of some people” after telling me what he did. He’d absolutely try to get anyone towed or vandalized who did it to him though, 100%. He’s also definitely threatened to poison the neighbor dogs because of their excessive barking throughout the day. Before I left to go home for the holidays, he and his wife both said “We’re gonna stop using our sprinkler system, because it’s killing us on our water bill. This company is way too damn expensive.” My foam faucet covers are still currently on. I wonder if he noticed that they were still on once it started getting hot again a couple months back and took it as a sign that I’m not paying attention(?) I mean, he’s wasn’t wrong to a good degree. One of my neighbors told me he waters his lawn three times a week, and he has a family of five with a daughter who takes 50 minute showers, and his bill was only $150. My ex-girlfriend also lives just a block over, and she says she only waters the grass three times a day, and her highest bill ever was $190, which is higher than mine ever has (roughly $110 a month. Our separation was mutual and healthy. I feel like I need to clarify that she wouldn’t ever never do anything like that to anyone, let alone me. Lol. I have a lawyer currently building a potential case with all of the facts presented at this time. I guess I’m wondering if there’s any advice or ideas to help catch him in the act. So far, I haven’t seen him on the cameras, but the one neighbor I really trust has said he’s been out really late and early in the AM, so I feel like the water report will correlate with that. Does anyone have a security camera recommendation? I’m thinking I’ll need to get a system that records 24/7 to try to line up the water company’s report. Something preferably discrete that he won’t be able to see, but there’s a few spots that I could mount a fair sized camera that he shouldn’t be able to catch. Any extra advice besides just shutting off the water service and putting locks on the spouts? I really want to catch this guy red-handed, because he’s going to have cost me well over $1,000 by the end of this month. I am slightly concerned he may have access to my water system, because he works in construction and is pretty savvy in that regard, but right now I feel like he’s likely plugging his back yard sprinkler (system) into my line and just letting it go a couple times a week. I guess we’ll see. I think being able to discretely put in a solid camera system and then just wait a bit more to see what happens is the move at the moment. It’s really a bummer, because I’ve been a very considerate neighbor. I like to play the drums, and any time he’s told me it’s bothering him, I’ve stopped it immediately, even when it was while recording tracks for a local band. I’m starting to now see who he really is the more I learn about him through other people. K, this ended up very finger-pointy which isn’t what I wanted, but it’s like the technician said: “There’s no way you have any sort of leak. Your water’s intentionally being used and is going SOMEWHERE. And if it was your yard, you’d have green patches somewhere around it. You’ve got gold-course quality turf just a couple feet over.” I’m also kind’ve a small YouTuber (25k subs). If I catch him and can make a real case out of this, I’m going to make a video on it, and put up a huge sign in my front yard that says something like: “Thieves live here. ➡️ Ask me how my grass is so green!” If anyone comes up with anything good, I’d gladly credit them in it as well. I really don’t want to be at odds with my neighbor, but I cannot STAND a thief. I’ve worked way too hard for what I have to be just taken from me, and he’s definitely the type of boomer who thinks he’s entitled to other people’s amenities if it won’t kill them. Note: I DO have spigot locks, but I feel like that’s a one time sorta thing. If he goes to tap it and it’s not on camera, he’s gonna know I’m onto him. Which would be the worst case scenario at this point. submitted by /u/Overall-Scientist956 to r/neighborsfromhell [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/dumpordiscuss My boyfriend [23M] pretended to be single in front of other girls while I [21F] was standing right there. Is this grounds to break up immediately or should I give him a chance to explain himself? TRIGGER WARNING: gaslighting, infidelity Original Post July 19, 2015 Our first year anniversary is in two weeks. We went out last night to a birthday party of our mutual friend's. He got pretty tipsy but not wasted; I didn't drink since I was driving us home. At some point in the night I went to go get water and when I came back, there was a crush of people in the room so I was standing directly behind him, trying to get through. He was talking to some girl and I heard her ask, "So is that girl you came in with your girlfriend?" And he distinctly said after some hesitation, "No, she's just my roommate haha." I got really pissed off but didn't say anything, just came up to stand next to him. I didn't want to make a scene at my friend's birthday party, but he was going to get an earful when we left. He didn't even notice me for a few seconds and said something like, "You're so pretty," to the other girl. She noticed me glaring at him and left. I was so pissed off at him that I just decided to walk away and talk to my friends the rest of the night. Probably a mistake of not addressing it right there at the time but I wanted to avoid a big scene if I could. I tried to enjoy myself. My friend, the host of the party, came up to me and asked me if my boyfriend and I had broken up and she didn't know, because she had heard him telling somebody that he was single. After that, I just decided to go home. I was really mad. He could find a ride or crash at our friend's place (she said it would be okay because tons of people were crashing in the living room already). I went home without saying a word to him. This morning I woke up to all of these texts and calls from him really pissed that I ditched him at the party without a ride or without warning. He demanded to know in an accusing voice "where I had disappeared off to," as if I was the one up to some shady shit. I'm just angry and confused because this is coming out of nowhere for me. We have a great relationship and have never had a fight. He tells me all the time that he's so happy we're together and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he wants to be with me forever. And now pretending I'm not his girlfriend? Claiming he's single? Flirting with other girls right in front of me? He has never done anything like that before and hasn't even looked at other girls... I don't drink, so is this just dumb "drunken behavior" that I should excuse? Should I give him a chance to explain himself or just end things now? I'm so pissed off and feel so disrespected. I can't even think of what reason he could give that would somehow make what he did okay in my eyes. But I'm willing to listen to anyone's perspective or other angles on the situation. tl;dr: Went to a party with my boyfriend last night. He got tipsy and was overheard telling multiple people that he didn't have a girlfriend or that he was single, when I was right there at the same party. I left without saying a word to him. This morning he's demanding to know why. Do I confront him or just leave him? RELEVANT COMMENTS boyd1211 "You made it clear last night that you are single. I don't wait around for ex-boyfriends to give them rides home." Cut contact, the end. OOP Wow this is perfect... I'm considering texting this to him now... dasg1214 OP this is perfect, text his ass now and update us! You deserve better than that bullshit. Update 1 - Same Day July 19, 2015 - Same Day/Same Post UPDATE: I texted him, "You made it clear last night that you are single. I don't wait around for ex-boyfriends to give them rides home. Don't bother coming back here" as /u/boyd1211 suggested. He immediately tried to call me and I didn't pick up. Then he texted, "Wtf are you talking about???" How could he not know? My friend (the host) even just texted me and told him she'd given him an earful all morning when he woke up for being such a dickbag to me. He denied everything and said he has no idea what she's talking about. They got into a fight about it because he stuck to his guns and claims he never said any of that stuff. I have a feeling he's going to pretend he doesn't remember or blacked out as a way to get out of this. He said he's getting a ride back to my place now. I'm considering not answering the door, but what if he really doesn't remember...? I kind of don't care, though. :/ He's coming here now, what do I do?! RELEVANT COMMENTS dasg1214 Ugh. I mean, was he blackout drunk? Either way, this would probably be a deal breaker for me, though I might be curious to see what he has to say for himself via email. I wouldn't talk with him in person, he's only going to try and sweet-talk you, make excuses, and make you feel crazy. Not worth it. OOP I firmly believe he wasn't blackout drunk, because he didn't drink that much (at least by the time he first said the "roommate" thing). It was like thirty minutes after we had first arrived and he'd had three beers? That's not enough to get blackout drunk, right? And I'm torn on talking to him in person. I feel like through text he's able to get his story straight and review his thoughts before sending them to have a more cohesive excuse... whereas in person I can tell if he's bullshitting me or not. I won't be letting him into my place, though. If we do talk we'll go somewhere public where I can leave if I want. ~ Upallnight88 I can't imagine anything that he can say to you that will justify his actions. Don't let him complain about you leaving him at the party, he deserved it. Most likely he will just say he was drunk and didn't mean it, or "it was a joke". Don't buy into either of these BS excuses. OOP This is what I'm most afraid of. I don't drink so I'm afraid he'll say something like "You don't know what it's like when you get drunk, dumb shit just falls out of your mouth and you can't control it" or etc. etc. I don't really have a basis to dispute it because I have no idea what it's like when you do get drunk, so I can't be like "No, that's not what happens when a person feels drunk, you have no excuse." lynn Alcohol removes inhibitions, it doesn't change a person's principles. Clearly he's willing to cheat on you, if he wasn't he wouldn't have tried to while he was drunk. UPDATE 2 - July 19, 2015 - Same Post/Same Day UPDATE 2: He's almost here. My friend told me to talk to him "just to hear the complete load of shit he's going to unleash on you. Dump him girl, I would"--and she's known him for longer than she's known me! I'm not going to answer the door. Thanks, all. FINAL UPDATE - Posted July 20, 2015 - Next Day/Same Post UPDATE 3: I know most of you will be disappointed to hear this, but I decided to give him another chance. ...Just kidding. I only kid because I'm still bawling my eyes out. I did decide to answer the door and hear what he had to say, if only to try to understand his reasons behind it (not as a way to forgive him, but to fully understand why). At first he denied it and said that none of it ever happened, and that my friend was lying to me because she was jealous of us and had always "wanted him" (she has a boyfriend of three years). He said he had no idea what she was talking about or why I was so mad at him. I just said, "I heard you say it, too." He said, "Say what???" But then he just saw the look on my face and crumbled. He said that prior to us dating, he had never gotten attention from girls before and it went to his head when it happened last night. He said that he'd always felt "in disbelief" because he believed I was out of his league and it was pure fluke that I'd ever been interested in him. Apparently girls never approached him before we were dating, ever, so when it happened at the party he "didn't know how to react." (!) He said he "enjoyed the attention for once in his life and just went with it." According to him he wasn't planning on doing anything but just impulsively said whatever to keep the attention coming. He swears up and down that he just enjoyed the ego boost that came from girls being interested in him, but he would never ever cheat on me. In his mind he thought it was "harmless" because he knew he would never let it go further than feeding his ego, and that if he'd known that I would hear, he never would have done it and risked hurting me. At this point I started to cry, because to me it was such a STUPID reason to throw away what we had. I know some of you will say that I should forgive him (got a lot of PM's and comments saying "it was just a dumb mistake" and "I say dumb shit I don't mean when I'm drunk too") but I just can't. He broke my trust in him and, honestly, he hurt my pride. I want a guy who can handle when some other girl shows interest in him with maturity and respect... a guy who loves me so much that he would never dream of leading a girl on for attention because I feel like my attention should be enough... Someone who's proud to point at me and say "Sorry, I'm taken and she's a great girl" with no regrets. I told him that I thought it was a really stupid reason to damage our relationship (being insecure and an attention-whore) and I guess it must have sunk in that I was planning to leave him. He broke down crying too and begged me to please try to forgive him because it was a stupid drunken mistake. It was so hard to stay strong, but I was very angry with him. I cried so hard because he started telling me he loved me more than anyone and he was just stupid, drunk, and inexperienced and he wished he could take it all back because it wasn't worth losing me. I said I was glad he realized his mistake, but if he really "loved me more than anyone" than he really needed a better way to show it than pretending I don't exist to other pretty girls. He got hysterical and just started saying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I can't lose you! Please forgive me!" I told him that I thought his actions last night were honestly pathetic and disgusting and they changed my view of him. I told him it was sad that he would throw himself after a girl and lie just to get a few minutes of attention and that I didn't think it was a good excuse to say "that never happened to me before so I didn't know how to handle" or "I was just innocently enjoying the attention." What would happen next time? How could I trust him to act appropriately and control himself? He said that "he'd learned from this" and he'd do better next time but honestly I just couldn't get over it. He made me feel worthless as his girlfriend and something he had to hide to get the attention of other women because my attention wasn't adequate. I know that isn't necessarily true but that's just how he made me feel. I also told him he'd lowered himself in my eyes and I didn't respect him anymore. So I told him to get out and not talk to me anymore. I'm leaving a box of his stuff on the porch so he can get it without talking to me. Then I laid my couch and cried with my dog until I felt sick. It shouldn't feel this shitty because I'm still really mad at him. But we had an amazing year together and it sucks that something so small and stupid could cause him to jeopardize that. I don't want to be with a guy who values our relationship so little. I feel better today. It sucks not being in a relationship anymore but I feel like I deserve better. He's been blowing up my phone saying he's been at home crying and he loves me so much. I'm just waiting for him to pick up his stuff so I can block his number. My best friend also just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years, so we're planning a road trip together to take our mind off things. I wasn't able to go before because I didn't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable (go figure). But this weekend I'm going to go hang out with my bestie and swim at the beach and forget things. Thanks for the support, Reddit. You helped me stay clear-headed. I have a lot of hate and bitterness in my heart right now but I'm hoping that will pass. tl;dr: It's over, I broke up with him. He denied everything at first but then later confessed that he did it because he enjoyed the ego boost he got and that other women had never approached him before, so he "didn't know what to do." I told him I don't respect him anymore even if he's sorry so things won't work. I'm going to the beach with my friend this weekend and trying to put it all behind me. RELEVANT COMMENTS When told OOP is ending a relationship over a small white lie I don't think denying a year-long relationship with your girlfriend present is a "small white lie" and I don't think it's healthy to crave female attention so badly that you're willing to deny being in a relationship just to get a morsel of attention. I think it is a "wrong action" to disrespect your partner and lie to lead women on, and I think you're doing 23 year old males a disservice by insisting this is a normal thing for them. But okay. suspiciousconfession Even if that bit WAS a white lie, lying to you about how your friend is evil and conniving and trying to get into his pants was not. Sober him, who had time to think and plan, was going to destroy your friendship to cover his ass. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I'm 17 years old. When I was 4, I met "Tommy" in pre-school. I always knew that Tommy was different, his face looked different, he spoke strangely. It wasn't until later that I learned that he had Down Syndrome. Tommy and I were inseparable, and our families became really close. Looking back on it, I realize that while I had a lot of friends, I was his only one. Kids weren't super mean to him or anything, but they didn't really know what having Down Syndrome meant, you know? He was genuinely my best friend. When we were in fourth grade, Tommy got sick. He was diagnosed with cancer. His parents brought me along to sit with him during chemo to cheer him up. I brought him stuffed animals and for a little bit, he seemed to get happier. Tommy died the summer before fifth grade. I was crushed. His parents were crushed. My parents were crushed. The first day of fifth grade, when I was taking my back-to-school photo, Tommy's parents asked if they could come over and watch. They asked if we could remember Tommy in the photo, because we used to always take them together. I thought that was a great idea. It kind of spiraled though. Every photo that would usually be taken of me and Tommy together had a similar homage. Christmas, Halloween, my birthday, his birthday, the last day of school, you get the picture. The first and second years I really liked it, because I missed my best friend, of course. Three years after he died, I started to get a little impatient, I guess. I know how awful that sounds and I hate myself for saying it. It started to feel like everything was about him. I could never have a happy moment, almost. Or a happy milestone I guess. My parents always invited Tommy's parents, and they always brought photos/mementos. I think I truly started to get upset was Halloween in eighth grade, I was 13. I was trying to go out with my friends, when Tommy's parents came by. They wanted to take photos on the front porch with his photo and stuffed bear and wanted me to carry around the bear when I went trick-or-treating. I tried to pull my parents aside and tell them that I didn't want to do it. I just wanted to be happy on Halloween, and I was too old to carry the bear. My parents flew into a lecture, how I was being so selfish, how they were grieving, how it wasn't a big deal, and 'didn't I miss my best friend?' OF COURSE I DID. Even if Tommy was there, I wouldn't have wanted to take the photo. In the end, the picture ended up on Facebook and I got teased all night for carrying a stuffie. This has continued for EVERYTHING, for YEARS. My eighteenth birthday is in three weeks. I plan to have a kind of small gathering with my friends. Yesterday, my mom asked me what time Tommy's parents should show up to take pictures and set up. I asked what she meant by set up. She told me that Tommy's parents had asked to set up a memorial at my party. Big picture, flowers, some of his toys. I know I'm a shit person for saying this, but I don't want it. For once, I want it to be about me. I don't know I feel terrible for them, and I still miss him so much, but I want to be happy on my birthday. Is that too much to ask? How do I ask this? Every time I've tried, I've been made to feel like a terrible person. I don't know what to do. Edit: The title is supposed to say 'parents'. Edit 2: I showed this to my sister, who said that its important for me to mention that I'm not an only child. I have two older siblings and two younger siblings. I think part of my reasoning is that none of my siblings had to share their milestones or have memorials. None of them were ever in any pictures, or forced to carry stuffed animals, or have memorials. submitted by /u/anger_throwaway2255 to r/internetparents [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/luvthyf_ingneighbor Originally posted to r/EntitledKarens My Neighbor Demands I Marry His Son Trigger Warnings: homophobia, cancer, destruction of property Original Post: August 22, 2024 This is a weird one, and I don't reddit normally, so sorry. My GF told me to post here, lol Okay, so I "Zennia" F35, inherited my Pop's (my grandfather) house. Well, technically, me and mom did. Mom is a college professor and remarried to a technical writer/engineer who makes a ridiculous amount of money and a big Ole mansion of a house (to me) in the well-off part of town. So she said Pops house is mine. I was grateful and am still. This was about a year ago. I need to sort of set the stage here. Pop was a popular man. He helped everyone. The kids all called him Uncle or Pops, and his peers called him the Sultan of 2nd Street (never knew why they went with Sultan, other than illeration, since he was black lol). He donated and loaned and gave money to whomever needed it. He was a Vietnam War vet, and despite the stigma of it at the time and that of being a black man, he made something of himself as boxer and boxing instructor. He opened his own place and eventually opened more. When mom was small, he bought that house, and when mom got pregnant with me and my father flaked out, Pops became that father figure. My childhood bedroom is in this house (it's now my study) and so everyone here knows us. Pop passed, and I got the house. All caught up? Okay, so there is a neighbor to my immediate right, who we call Sugah Mama or Sugah. Everyone knew that she had it bad for Pops but see after he left Mama (my grandmother) or more likely . She left him, he chose the bachelor/Playa life. Yeah, he got around. It's still debatable if the woman who owns the house is on the 3rd, if her son is my uncle. Anyway, Sugah has a son "Miles" (M50-something) who also has a son “James”. James is my age, and we get on well. We used to be joined at the hip in grade school, and even though we glowed into different cliques in middle and high school, we were friendly. Sugah and some of the other older folks would joke about us. Soulmates. We even share a birthday with a strange coincidence, I will admit, but then they keep adding AT THE SAME HOSPITAL! well, yeah, because back then, there was only one good one nearby. Lol Now, to be clear, I am bisexual with a strong preference if my dating history has any sway for nonbinary people or women. No shame in my game. I can talk about the absolute bullshit of homophobia in the black community, but you're not here for that. So I meet my now GF "Dinah" who is also my age and she is absolutely a dream. She's smart and hot and sweet and thoughtful and kind and a million other things. I have to stop there, or this post will be all about how out of my league she is. I started having her around the house, and Mr. Miles was around and offered his and James' help in getting stuff from the truck into the house. At one point, James pulled me aside as he knew she was my GF and said I shouldn't mention it to his dad, but it was too late. Mile had asked her if the two of us were college buddies, and she replied that we're dating. Mr. Miles pulls me aside after and asks if it's true, and I said yes. Enter the homophobia and what would Pop think? Lol, I told him, Pop knew I was bi for years. I came out to him in high school, and he was a-okay with it. That shut him up for a bit, and we got me moved in. Well, now about a week ago, Mr. Miles came by. I WFM, but the fiscal year is coming about, and it's a busy time, so I made Mr. Miles had some tea and sat with him but made him aware I was calling this my lunch hour and couldn't entertain long as I was still working. He said "well I will cut to the chase then," and said so matter of factly, "you need to leave that woman." I laughed as my GF and I have been together now for over a year and are happy, so... no. why the hell would he even come here with this? He said Sugah is sick (which I knew. She sadly got uterine and breast cancer in March) and she needs to see her boys married. He said he prefers I marry James, but IT WOULD BE OKAY with him if I marry his older brothers Daniel (36) or Paul (37). I told him yeah no. I won't be marrying any of his sons. I said I already have a ring for Dinah and am planning to propose to and marry her. I said I know he doesn't agree with gay marriage, and he frankly doesn't have to. It's my life, and while I love and respect him like a real uncle, he will not tell me who to love or marry. He yelled at me and said some awful things, and I wanted to say I was a badass and stared him down like Gayle King did to R Kelly in the meme but...I cried. A lot. I just asked him to please leave. He did but ripped my pride flag from my pole at the door, calling me slur. I got a new one the next day, and it went missing, so my GF bought me a door cam and a new flag. Sure enough, he came that night and ripped that one down, too. I texted him the video and said I would not press charges if he stopped all this. He said to go ahead, "call the police on another black man," and if he's killed, it's on me and my "sins." It's night here and I was cuddled up to my boo after a movie date night and were playing Mass Effect (video game) - ASIDE but can you beleive this woman has never HEARD of this game!? - and there is knock at my door. It's Paul. He asks to speak with me outside, so I tell Dinah to keep playing, and I will be back. I don't see Paul often, so I thought something happened - maybe Sugah got worse or something happened to his dad. Paul explained that he was here to ask me out. He had flowers and a stuffed unicorn (I like unicorns don't read into it lol), and I, of course, told him ummmmm, I am in a relationship." He said he knew I had a GF but that wasn't a real relationship as a relationship is between a man and a woman and he knows I date men as I've dated a male mutual friend in my 20s. I just said my relationship is both real and none of his business and to leave. He then said he guessed I liked feminine men since my GF is trans - which OK bud she's not, but even if she was, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS HOTTIE. So I just laughed it off snd said he was jealous he couldn't pull a hottie like mine and said I have cameras with audio so if he can please fuck all the way off and not force me and my GF to call the cops, it would be appreciated. I told Dinah, who howled in laughter and paused the game to watch the doorcam footage, laughed more, and then told me to post here. So here we are. Sorry? You're welcome? Idk. Relevant Comments OOP needs to take extra precautions for herself and her partner OOP: My mom agrees with you. She's pushing for us to stay with her for a spell. Dad said he bought extra cameras and lights on Amazon and can sinatll them tonight. They are acting like a cross is burning on the lawn and my GF doesn't think they are overreacting at all. This is the South in the USA and GF is a retired Marine so...she's got her 2nd amendment right and the papers for it so I feel okay as long as she is with me... That said if she were hurt I would hate myself for not listening so we're in her care right now going to my parents and daddy is on his way to my house to put in the cameras and lights. Sadly I am used to folk telling me they can "fix" me somehow or that sleeping with a man will "fix" me etc. Mr. Miles ain't the first bigot but he damn well is the most dedicated. Mom talked with Sugah and Sugah is horrified and said she will put up a rainbow flag at her house and see if "that boy got the balls to rip it down from my damn house" Gotta love her.   Update #1: August 27, 2024 Howdy. Y'all might not remember but I'm that bi chick madly I'm love with my smokin brilliant GF and living beside my homophobic neighbor. Heres the post I'm updating - https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledKarens/s/67P8SoK3Ao So a few days ago I shared about Mr. Miles losing his ever-loving mind about me having a GF and basically put his son up to come over, demean my relationship, and ask me out cuz that's suuuuuuuuuch a great plan /s For safety, given Mr. Miles losing all the sense the good lord gave him, GF and I stayed up at my folks and just got back yesterday evening. My dad double checked all the new lights and cameras and then walked over to "have a friendly chat" with Mr. Miles. Not sure what he said but it had to be good because Mr. Miles didn't even sit on his porch to smoke his nightly cigar. And if you knew that man the way I do you know that's not in character. I asked Daddy what he said to the poor man and he laughed and said "Oh, Baby, definitely nothing that would remind him of our good and mighty God or offering to send him to Him." Sooooooooo Sorry I digress. So I expected everything to be okay - because I'm stupid - and thus went back to life per usual. I ran my GF's bath, jumped her bones, and woke up to make her breakfast thinking my life is some kind of wonderful. Only to hear a knock at the door. Today is Monday. Everyone who works is off to work and everyone who doesn't knows I WFH on weekdays. Something didn't feel right so I woke my Love up and told her to get dressed just in case something was about to happen. I'm no warrior but I did have my bat and opened the door and made eye contact with a cop. We stare at each other. He looks down at my bat, then back to my face, then turns showing the cop behind him and looks at her. And I am here thinking well SHIT this is what I get for assuming this all would blow over. I will admit, I am not everyone's cup of tea so I use humor to compensate for being...well a weirdo lol don't know how else to put it. So I grin at the cops and ignore my heart racing and place the bat down and just say "Sorry I thought you were someone else. Coffee?" They...weren't amused and apparently didn't want coffee either. Who was I expecting and why a bat? I just said I wasn't sure, but we're two women alone in a house with someone at the door at the ass Crack of dawn so.... They asked for me by name and I confirmed I was who I was, even showed my ID. They asked me for my GF as they got a call. GF comes out and shows her ID. They ask to speak to us separately and I was getting upset. "Whats this about, sir?" The cop looked at me really annoyed, then looked at my GF and asked if she felt safe with me, to which she said she did. He said he needs to investigate a call. I ask what call. He says he's the one asking questions and all I could think was greeeeeat he's that type of cop. He tried to step inside but we were speaking through a screen door which I locked last night and it was then he actually asked if he could come in. I said no, sir. My GF said she will step out with him to answer any questions and she does and the female cop takes her a distance away and talk. The male cop opens the now unlocked door and peers in my house asking if he can have a look around. I ask again what all this is about. He asks me questions. All centering around why anyone might think I am holding my GF here against her will. I was like what do you mean against her will? He says her BF called and said I took her forcefully and kept her here overnight. To which I reply, what fucking BF? She's a lesbian and gay as the day is long. At this point GF and female cop come back and GF looks mad. She points at Sugah's house and asks if thats where the call came from and outline everything that's basically in my last post. GF then goes, "show them the videos", so I hand over my phone with the ring app pulled up with the footage of Mr. Miles yanking our pride flag down and using slurs. The cops were looking at one another and then back at Sugah/Mr. Miles' house. Mystery solved, I'm thinking. I'm not good in tense situations so I just Crack "Sure you don't want a coffee?" And GF whacked my arm. We did the whole song and dance, sending files, getting their cards, filing a complaint for the damage of my property on Mr. Miles' part, and then my GF said she wants to pressed harassment charges too. The male cop snorted "based on what?" And the female cop took over. She said without solid and consistent proof, they can't press charges of that nature. We ask about hate crimes and they said taking down a pride flag isn't a hate crime, it's destruction of property. Suddenly I can hear the guy cop saying "Sir, stay inside" and who else could it have been but dear old Mr. Miles - look at this old rooster up this early! Fuck. The old sour raisin is yelling for them to ask about me throwing around my GF last night. Cops aren't even listening to him, just telling him to go inside and he keeps repeating that i was brutilizing her last night (Which the creepy bits aside about him knowing anything about last night, I want to take as one HELLUVA compliment). The cops yell for him to go inside or he will be in cuffs. He does and the female cop turns to me and I just blurted "If 'throwing around' is what we're calling sex now..." And my GF gave me a look like shut 👏 the FUCK 👏 up so I did. (It did get a laugh from the lady cop though). They told us to stay inside and we did but you better believe we minded everything but our business at that point. We watched through my study window as they went and spoke to Mr. Miles. There was a back and forth and I heard the cop say "turn around" and Mr. Miles was saying like "why are you hassling me, man? I didn't do nothing." So the cop got louder and said "Either turn around and I take you in or you go back in the house, sir." Mr. Miles was saying this ain't right but he went inside. The cops stayed on the porch for a few minutes more. Then they departed. Happy Monday. Relevant Comments Commenter: Wow. If you can afford it, I suggest consulting an attorney. Give them all the info and evidence of things to date, so they’ll be ready to help if this escalates. for example if you end up needing a restraining order or want to pursue that harassment charge that the cops didn’t want to deal with.   Update #2: August 31, 2024 This is slowly just becoming my little hobby of sharing what Mr. Miles and his family have been doing. After the police incident it was pretty quiet this week. Dinah, my GF, and I also have just been living quietly in general hoping the storm passed over. I can be such a damn fool sometimes. I thought it was all going to be fine. We have cameras, lights, Dinah made a (rainbow - cuz of course) no trespassing sign. She got mini pride flags and staked them in the front garden. Did I mention she gardens? She's literally a dream girl. Mr. Miles sort of went back to normal. He smoked his nightly cigars, washed his car, all the usual shit. Enter the HOA. I live in a community that, how can I say this? It's not the hood, but it ain't fancy. Lots of the people here are people of color and generational owners meaning their grandparents or great grandparents bought the house way back in the day and the owners inherited it. Nobody minds their business, but we let each other be as far as how we use the lawns and shit like that. It's very much a "stay in yo lane" situation. Guy shows up at the door. I'm not home, but Dinah is so this is what she described happened but I admit I "Zennia'd" some details for that extra oomf - Dinah has coined that phrase as according to her I allegedly add a flair to retellings. She opens the door with the chain on and this pleasant looking man is smiling at her so she assumes he is a salesman. She just asks if our no soliciting sign is there and is about to close the door at that but he said he's not selling anything, he's an officer with the HOA. Dinah hears the word officer and is cussing in every tongue she knows internally and just asks what he wants. He hands her a notice. Apparently we are in some sort of violation. Dinah's no pushover so she's rather unimpressed at this point and he is trying to explain "we noticed some violations-" and she asks point blank if what he's about to say is in the papers he gave her. He says yes, and she looks it over again. Hmmm...our rainbow shit? A violation. Oh no it's 7. 7 violations all related to our rainbow shit. Now Dinah's got a main suspect in who is behind all this and she is laughing in this man's face. He says he really doesn't want to fine us since they prefer to laid back. But this is causing complaints. So I get home and she's out back painting...nothing off about that. She likes creative DIY stuff so I just let her know I'm home and there's a box. I assumed it was for her because she freaking LOVES Amazon. She comes in and shows me what she's working on. Rocks, signs, a set of garden pots you name it, she has rainbowed it and I just sigh and go "What did that man do now?" And she tells me about HOA. I was like "we have an HOA?" And she hands me the papers. I called the number and the voicemail prompt checks out that it is an HOA. I've been the owner of the house for over a year. So its news to me. But I'm also first-time homeowner and I've been wrong before. I had and have a million questions. Like dont we get billed for it or something if we're part of HOA housing?? Then I noted that all the issues they are threatening to fine are accompanied by grainy photos of said items and they are all our rainbow stuff. I realize that Dinah is two steps off scorched earth (it takes a lot to get her there but baby look OUT when she arrives at that destination) the sign being that she is about to rainbow the whole damn house. I asked her her intentions and she just shrugs and says "Oh I thought they didn't get the asthetic so I'm helping complete your vision" (HOW IS THIS MY FAULT NOW!???? lol) and I'm like oooooh sweet baby Jesus, I don't have the financials to say fuck you if they fine me to oblivion. We had something of a tiff about it (a tiff is a small little argument, but "argument" makes it sounds far more dire than it is) as she was camped in "F them especially" territory and I'm thinking of the possible consequences. I finally calm her down and she's starting to see my side of it. Guys, I fought the good fight, I really did, she was coming around, I was so close. So close to squashing this issue, calling it a night, play video games with my boo and go back to normal. BUT FUCKING NO because the goddamn box. The box wasn't addressed. It was just a box with a note that said it's a gift. They were flags. Not pride flags but like various sizes of the American flag. Dinah saw this and FLIPPED the fuck out. She's walking around the house cussing in more than one language. And I'm there in F my life mode knowing damn well we're a step closer to scorched earth. That was last night. She was still creating her DIY rainbow stuff when I went to bed. I'm not even going to try and sound like I want to attempt to think it's anyone else up to this bullsshittery for obvious reasons - gestures broadly - but also because Mr. Miles smoked his nightly cigar and I don't know what he said to Dinah, who happened to be out there (yeah right, Baby, since when do you even like sitting outside at night...ALONE) and she is swearing up and down he all but admitted it BUT EVEN IF HE HADN'T she checked our camera and Mr. Miles's son seems to be taking photos of our home from the sidewalk. So now we know at least Paul has something to do with this too. Dinah's not back from work yet, and I WFH so I'm basically just waiting for the other show to drop because now my GF has gone full gollum and God help anyone who tries to stop whatever it is she is thinking about doing. It's like trying to stick your foot out to stop a bullet train. Not gonna happen and damn painful. I'll update when the other shoe drops. PS: Our complaint to the police after my last update is still being "investigated" and not to be any sort of way but I don't expect much from it. Fingers crossed though. Pray for me y'all. PPS: Also sorry for all the cussing. This has put us both in a STATE and I have a pretty foul mouth. Edit: Just called my mom because she generally knows all lol she said that while she isn't 100% about the now as it's hard to recall so randomly while she's working, she knows for a fact there wasn't one when Pop owned the house. I'm going through the paperwork now because I can't let his go. Relevant Comments OOP should had the documents regarding this suspecting HOA OOP: I don't remember any mention of it, but also at the time I was not in the best state mentally for various reasons, including the death of my grandfather - which is why I inherited the house. I do remember a LOT of paperwork, that said. I will ask my mom if she recalls anything as she was there helping me. + I'll have to go through them. The phone number checked out because the voicemail prompt sounded legit, but the email is a generic one (think like yahoo or something). I can't even wrap my brain around how he would even be able to fake this, but after all the shit happening thus far, I am not far off believing it possible.   Update #3: September 1, 2024 This shit is going to make me into some gossip columnist or something because what I am about to share is fucking WILD. HOUSECLEANING FIRST since my last post had so much going on. The police, after many calls from my GF Dinah, have basically said that our case doesn't constitute harassment and there is no evidence of anything more (ummm video??) but only destruction of property. They said its largely a civil matter and thus should be handled I'm civil court rather than criminal. Best beleive Dinah is not about to let this go. As for the HOA. We. Dont. Have. One. And by "we," I mean my street. Miles lives on the corner house, so he's on a technically different street. We checked and double-checked, and Dinah helped me sort through some paperwork for good measure. Nope. My street never had one and never signed on for one. Dinah was DELIGHTED by this. I mean, that hot hellion put all her rainbow projects out and then started talking about rainbowing the HOUSE. Like, the whole damn house. She wants to make it a project and for all to call our queer pals together and rainbow paint the exterior, including the garage doors and driveway lol. I...said we should start small, and we agreed that she can paint our front and back porches first and she found cute lights to shine on the house that can project rainbows so we have to check with our other neighbors but I said if they are fine with it, fine, hun. And now ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary monarchs and all, I present to you, the fuckery. Mr. Miles saw me washing my Love's car for her. It was just a thing I wanted to do for her. Not a normal thing I do at all. But she's been stressed, so I was going for the "hot girl washing cars" thing in part to be cute and silly and was in swimwear. She was calling to me from the upstairs window, whistling and stuff. I laughed. My other neighbors laughed. Mr. Miles came out with a mug of whatever the fuck evil drinks (blood of the innocent? Puppy broth? Who knows. Maybe just shitty coffee) and was glaring at us, scoffing when she would come out on our porch with her tea to "enjoy the show" - let me be clear, we were not being lewd or anything. She was saying shit like "What are your rates? My car has never been so beautiful. I'll pay you double" it's cheesy shit couples around here say all the time. Maybe the worst thing she said that maybe was less for public consumption was admittably my favorite thing: "Hey good looking, what am I cookin? I WILL MAME IT HOT for you" implying she will make dinner. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but Dinah is the BEST cook but generally doesn't take that on regularly, so her offering was heaven for me. Mr. Miles would ahem loudly, shake his head, do that indignant laugh older folks do, everything so we knew he disapproved and was in the audience. So we ignored him. And I definitely didn't defiantly stay out longer, flirting with my woman to piss him off...solely. Anyway, Mr. Miles was too much of a coward, so sent Paul again. I was done with the car and Dinah made me a cool cocktail (where we live outdoor shit in the summer is done nice and early before the sun gets too high, so it was hotter than Satan's ass out) and we sat near the fan enjoying just chatting. Mr. Miles had long gone inside anyway, and this is our home. Fuck him. We're going to enjoy it. Paul waved as he walked towards us and Dinah said her favorite curses under her breath. He made some small talk with us but Dinah was frosty with him, so I did most of the answers but even I was short. But this is the South, so politeness is a bitch. Hard to explain. He said he was concerned about our cameras because it looks like they cover the yards of others and there are kids here and "you know what that can look like". I will blame the cocktail but I was feeling like fucking with him, so I acting dumb. "What will it look like?" And he was all "you know what I mean" and I was like "nah what do you mean, Mr. Paul?" And that went on for a bit and he just stared at me and did a condescending chuckle and shook his head "well we'll see about what everyone thinks- just trying to be helpful given.." And he gestures at nothing in particular. I smile as sweet as pie and thank him for coming by but the cameras don't seem to bother anyone but I wil ask around. He told me to do that and walked off. We had been putting it off but this spurred Dinah to look into Mr. HOA. He's legit. An officer of the HOA on the street the other end of Mr. Miles's/Sugah's house. But Sugah has been in the hospital for surgery and won't be back for at least a few days. She has a daughter I keep tabs with who has been in town to help care for her. When I talked to my own mother, she sounded annoyed about the situation as a whole and ask if I would mind if she herself had a discussion with Miles. She grew up with him so I said that was up to her. She said "Great!" In that way that I knew she would be calling him. This morning, Daniel, the other son, caught me as I brought out the trashcans. I was surprised because he doesn't live there, so I don't often see him. Small talk blah blah blah, and then he gets close and says that he's sorry about the whole thing with his dad, but I should be warned that he got into quite mood after talking with my parents (I assume mom) and to tread lightly. I thanked him and went back in to tell Dinah. Dinah was in the nook (like a half room bay window situation where Pop used to smoke) and she had gift stuff out like gift bags and ribbon. I was trying to figure if I had forgotten a birthday or something and she just giggled and told me to come here. Rainbow flags. A lot of mini ones. Stuffed in a bright gift bag. I just looked at her like "Baby nooooooo" and she just shrugged saying she was the newbie here and wanted to be a good neihbor. To her credit there are more than one gift bags and she is dropping them off as I write to every house on the street but I know my GF. This is an F you too to Miles. She said to ask my internet friends (you and a Facebook group I've been sharing this with) for ideas of how to "spruce up the place" now that we know there are no HOA restrictions while she's out. So this is an update and also a plea, for the love of God please don't give her too many crazy ideas. Give us some fun ones - I am all for painting rocks and patios and shit, but I still gotta live here ya know? Anways, have a good long weekend if you're in the states. I still have a BBQ to plan. Edit: I just spoke to my mother video chat. Mom and Dinah have now sync'd energies. Help. Me. Mom said she talked to Daddy and they are wanting to pay for at least 2,000 USD to "spruce up the place" - Dinah is over the moon, has taken the device and is still talking with Mom now. God help us all lol   Update #4: September 7, 2024 Well the Mr. Miles saga continues so to pick up from my last post, the BBQ happened. It was fun. Had my parents and chosen family over (open invite to my community so some neighbors too) and Dinah's twin even came and by twin I mean they're not actually twins (image THAT much hotness doubled. Lawd.) But siblings born on the same day a few years apart. For this I will call him David (M30s...? Idk I never remember). David is also as gay as the day is long and has heard of all the shit Mr. Miles has been putting on. Actually ever single person at the BBQ knew. It was a topic I couldn't escape. Dinah was serving vodka mixed drinks and you can image what 3 queerdos can come up with after a few dranks. David loudly announced "PAINTING PARTYYYYYY" as Dinah went and found every bit of paint we own. Before I could even work through my vodka-indused brain fog, people were painting...EVERYTHING. the porch, my chairs, damn near every rock around my trees and all the raised garden beds. Now my backyard looks like a gay unicorn had projectile diaherea and shat rainbows. I like it. We played Lily Allen "Fuck You" and other gay ass songs, sang along, there are rainbow flags inside and outside my home at every window, in the garden, between my pumpkins (THEY PAINTED HALF MY PUMPKINS) - this is not a euphemism, both cars have those mini flags that stay when you close the window. It was insanity. Aaaaand the police arrived. They got a call about a disturbance from a neighbor and we all knew damn well which (my whole street of neighborswere literally right there except him). A quick aside here but it's not illegal to play loud music during thr day here. Just after like 8 or 9 or something. So no laws were being broken. The cops even admitted that. But they suggested we "just keep it down" - we thanked them, and didn't. It was a fun evening. My mom waited until everyone else left and she and Daddy were drinking my best wine, just LOVING this chaos, singing Dinah's praises, gushing over how she's designed the interior of this old house (she did really well I have to admit). It's updated in here and just brighter and fresher. There was a knock on the door and Mom got it. Mr. Miles stepped in with Paul and Daniel in tow. My southern-politeness brain shit the bed, so I audibly groaned at the sight of him. Dinah came back from the kitchen, saw him, crossed through the whole ass room and planted a kiss right on my lips as she handed me a fresh drink and sat right on my lap like a housewife. Mr. Miles asked for a drink. Dinah told him everything is out and in the kitchen basically to say "fuck you get your own" in Nice. His sons went to make him a drink and I politely asked what he needed. He said he wanted to have a take with me, alone. Mom said "And what do you need with my daughter, Miles?" And he said that that was between him and me. I said I was drunk and tired so it will have to wait until morning. He had his drink, made some passive aggressive comments, wished us a good evening, and said he will come by later. Mom walked him out. He did. The very next day. And sure enough I was alone. Sugah isn't doing well. She's not responding to treatment. They're planning for the worst. I was devestated to hear this. She's like our neighborhood mom. I've known her all my life - she's practically family. So I started to cry. He was being so nice to me, handing me a napkin, speaking to me softly, rubbing my back and telling me to let it all out. So I did. And then right when I was able to catch my breath and calm down he said he wanted to tell me in person. I told him that was appreciated and I was so sorry for his family. He said "I know. Thanks. Thats another reason I wanted us to chat like adults. I know that woman you live with doesn't like me much." And I laughed without meaning to. Not like him? She would piss on his grave and stomp the dirt down to the tune of "hit the road jack" should the chance arrive. And if she weren't fit for prison, she'd give herself that chance with her own bare hands. Mr. Miles is still being nice and says that he knows I am the reasonable one. And that we had our fun but this tantrum of ours needs to end. Sugah will be coming home to live out her time and he doesn't want her to see our "mess" of a yard. He said it would upset her and he knows I don't want to ever upset her. I will be honest, I was so in my feelings over the news that he almost sounded reasonable to me. Then he offered to have Paul come over snd "help me" make my home presentable again and my brain kicked back in. I stared at this man, who just used the worst possible news a child could share about a parent as a tactic, and the spirit of Dinah came upon me. I very coldly told him to leave, as I have decorating to do. I think he thought I meant to tear everything down, because he left without a fuss. I told Dinah the moment she got home. At this point, her patience was up. She stormed out of the house and for a moment I was like "oh God honey don't do it, I don't even know where the jail is." And she came back in with bags. She had been shopping apparently and THIS PART IS ENTIRELY YALLS FAULT. She found SO MANY items. INCLUDING colorful windchimes. She just held up a few things and asked me to help her unload the rest and I was like "REST!?" So we spent the whole night decorating the front porch. I will fucking marry this crazy ass woman lol This past Wednesday, Sugah got home. I rushed out to hug her and she hugged me back. It was one of those "mama" hugs that make you want to laugh and cry and let everything out. She held my hand tight and looked at our porch. Then she laughed and said "Damn girl, you really leaned in huh?" Then said something was missing. I asked her what and she said my flag. The big one I had in the front. I told her what Miles did to it and a storm went over her whole face. She got quiet and asked me to explain I said she should rest and it's a long story. She turned to tell her daughter (who drove her) to make some lemonade and that she was going to sit with me on my porch a while. So I told her everything basically in all my posts including Miles' recent visit. She kept her expression steely the whole time. She asked a lot of questions. Then asked me if she ever told me about her first love. I thought she meant Mr. Richard, Miles' late father, and she laughed. She told me a story about how when she was young, before Richard ever asked her out, there was a woman her age who always dressed in suits, which for the time was not considered okay or normal. People hated her but Sugah fell for her almost instantly. She said Dinah reminds her of her and that I seem really happy now that Dinah has moved in. Then she looked at me so serious and said "So are you?" And I went inside to show her the ring I had long bought and that I am going to marry that woman if she'll have me. She smiled and patted my cheek, kissed my hand and went home. Yesterday my Daddy called and said "Heya what's this about a wedding?" And I was like what? And he said that he's not supposed to be telling me this so don't tell Mom but she and Sugah had a long phone call and Sugah wanted to pay for my wedding. Not some of it. The whole damn thing. This is already long sorry, I swear I am skipping a lot here but I was obviously floored. There's paperwork involved and mom is working with Sugah on it and Daddy said "Well, I guess you gotta ask that woman to marry you." And I said I intended to. So I am writing this antsy as fuck, ring in pocket, dressed up, waiting for Dinah to come home from the salon so we can have date night. Mr. Miles is about to have a complete caniption. Wish me luck. Edit/update: Hey guys- so I'm sad to say she said no. It was a lot to- I'm fucking with you. She said yes! Y'all I am going to marry the most amazing, smart, strong, hilarious, crazy, loving, beautiful woman in this GODDAMN world and I cannot fucking stand to keep it to myself!!! We had such an incredible time. She came home and was already dressed, so we went out. It was my turn to plan date night, so I was at an advantage. I took her to a place that was like the restaurant pur first date was in (sadly, the original is no more) and we shared stories about that date (I was nervous and word vomited like an overfed baby - she found me charming), we then retraced a walk we had when I first told her I loved her. She had claimed up at it and skirted saying it back, but now she tells me every fucking day multiple times a day even when she's pissed at me. We then ended at our city aquarium - hey quick trivia, I was once a "professional mermiad" there. You read that right. Chloe eat your heart out) - where she "stalked me" just to ask if we are real (not just a fun summer fling) and to go steady. I took her to our favorite bar for karaoke, got down on my knee, and she stared at me and just went "shut the FUCK up are you proposing to me?" And before I even knew it, she pulled out a ring and we just laughed and kissed. We wanted to update you the good news. I'm up to sing "At Last" for karaoke so gotta be on my toes to serenade my fiance. Fuck me you guys I just said fiance. I have a fucking fiance. Me! With her! I'm so fucking dumb happy right now. Sorry. Rambling. Love you all so much. I love everything right now.   EDITOR'S NOTE: It has been brought to my attention regarding this BoRU not formatting correctly with the missing letters at each paragraph. I have cleared the possible issue with the moderators of the sub. Many of you might be dealing with glitches. I posted this from desktop and wasn't missing anything. My apologies to all. Thank you.   Latest Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I'm currenting renting and I've only lived here for 1.5yrs (duplex, suspected thief is adjacent to us). Where I live is within a small lot of other duplexes, each with an enclosed front porch. You would need to open our individual gates to get near our door. Not to mention, my neighbours and I share a main driveway. The day we moved, my husband and I left my Philodendron 'Florida' on the front porch amongst the landlord's other plants while we were rearranging furniture. We both foolishly forgot to bring it in and by morning, it was missing. We were both adamant that it was still there the night before (we had been walking in/out of the property until midnight). It wasn't left on the delivery truck nor at our prior rental. It had just vanished within 9-10hrs. I felt quite depressed about it being stolen - I had been through some mental health battles on/off the last few years and had turned to plants to cope. However, out of all the plants I brought over from my previous rental, the Philodendron was one of the only healthy ones - the rest had perished a fair bit because I struggled to keep up with them. I still feel stupid having carelessly left it outside, but I couldn't get over how it was only there for 1 night until it was stolen and felt unsettled that someone had been watching us move the entire time. I eventually moved on and just accepted that the plant was gone for good until today.. I was waiting on a parcel to arrive and got notified by AusPost that it got delivered to a safe area. I looked outside on the porch and no parcel to be found. I cross-checked my area with the photo the driver sent and it was delivered to my next-door neighbour by mistake. In the photo was my parcel, and next to my parcel was my Philodendron, now dying Philodendron.... :( Photo from AusPost (edited out the label, and cropped out the front door) I went to the front door and grabbed my parcel... annnddd yep, it was definitely my Philodendron. Same pot, same moss pole (that I hand-built), same ties.... Photo of my Philodendron back in 2020, it had grown significantly since then. The woollen ties were added just before we moved so it's not yet present in this photo. I know most people in my place would probably have confronted the neighbour then and there but I made sure I had photos of my Philodendron first before I even thought of going over there to confront them. I'm in a state at the moment trying to figure out what to do. To call the police seems useless since it's just a plant. To confront them seems semi-useless because it's dying at the end of the day, but it's eating me up that something was taken from me without any accountability. Also taken at a time where I was very fragile. My husband wants to confront them, especially after seeing how much I was affected when it went missing (and now). I do too, but I think I'm just not used to confrontation so I'm very worried about this affecting us should things go wrong. I don't really feel safe that they're just next door either... Does anyone have any advice that can help with situations like these? Edit: Just adding some extra comments here. 1) There isn't a misunderstanding about the plant being "disposed of" or out for "council pickup". Reason being is that the plant was located in my front porch, which is a gated area and very closely surrounds my front door. My neighbour would've had to carefully open the gate and take my Philodendron that was near my front door, in the dead of night. I guess the misunderstanding would be them thinking it was my landlord's plant (we're the first renters here) and taking it since I moved in with my landlord's potted plants already present when we got the keys. 2) I didn't immediately take the plant because I wanted to be 100% sure I had proof in case something happened. I know, kinda dumb considering that I did handmake the moss pole and it's the same exact pot lol. I guess I was worried about something happening in case I got caught. 3) We're re-thinking our plan to confront them and just take it back. I heavily doubt they'll approach us but at least we're prepared if it happens. Thanks guys! UPDATE: Well, whaddya know. This arvo, I found my prodigal Philodendron mysteriously in my kitchen... How it even got there... I have no idea....... ;) https://preview.redd.it/5svu0ox319ed1.jpg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d1c9be85e315c173e2693c269fe4e934446c000 submitted by /u/richmondthegoth to r/sydney [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/CheescakeQueen. She posted in r/AITAH Mood Spoiler: yikes but OOP will be ok Original Post: June 16, 2024 ALTERNATE TITLE: my fiancé called me a woke whore and left me for his mom Last December, my fiancé (m25) and I (f23) became engaged. The engagement itself was very unexpected, and felt very sudden, as we had only been dating for 2 years since. However, I accepted, as I love him, and I couldn’t imagine a future without him in it. Since our engagement, we’ve had several wedding related conversations, and I’ve expressed to him numerous times that I would like to keep my maiden name, and not adopt his. The reason for this is that my parents never had any sons, and I am an only child. I want to carry on the family name for my parents, and I want my children to have the choice of which last name they want to go by and/or both. I’ve expressed all of this to my fiancé, and he complied, and reassured me that he was ok with my decision on the matter. As the wedding draws closer, I received a call from the cake planner last night regarding our cake, which we had met with him and designed a few weeks prior. He informed us that he had a sample prepared for us to come and see, so we drove there the next morning to sample it. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked when he pulled out the cake, which had the words “Mr. And Mrs. Smith” (my husbands last name) printed on top. Thinking it was an accident, (though I had strictly told him just to write ‘Mr and Mrs’ on the cake), I asked him to correct it for the final wedding cake for our wedding, which was in two weeks. He informed me that my fiancé had called him yesterday morning and had asked him to include “smith” on top, along with the previous initials. On the car ride home, my fiancé informed me that he was not comfortable with me keeping my last name, and that he had had a conversation with his mother two days prior, in which she informed him it was “feminine, weak, and woke” for him to comply to my wishes, and that he was signing himself up for an abusive marriage. Talking with the rest of the wedding planning staff, I found out he also instructed that the table centerpieces, official handouts, etc. all be changed to have “Mrs and Mr smith” on them instead of our separate last names, with the help from his mother. After our argument, I informed him that I would call off the wedding if he did not comply with my wishes, and that I didn’t want his mother attending our wedding ceremony either way. He moved out and refuses to talk to me since. AITAH? Relevant Comments: Commenter: OP’s parting comment should be “Better a woke whore than a pathetic little sonsband.” OOP: I might use this 👀 Commenter: Can I ask how this wasn’t apparent before? Has there never been any hard conversations? Any disagreement that your finance talked to his mom and followed what she said? Regardless, for my wife and I, family is important and if we couldn’t get along with each others families it would be a deal breaker. There can’t be a “your family or me.” Situation. You guys have to be in agreement on how to navigate family issues while supporting each other and maintaining a healthy relationship. OOP: I have no idea! We’ve had many conversations about this topic as well as political beliefs, religion, etc. and he claimed to align with everything I did. Only recently has he started coming out with polar opposite views and sneaking around. He’s shown some slight jealously of me in the past, which I suppose could be a red flag (I’m a model, and he frequently brings it up in conversation that he’s insecure about it) but other than that, everything else has been really minor problems. His mom…she has a history of interference (to a different commenter): You’re right- the man I was engaged to was nothing like this :/ honestly, I feel like I don’t even know him anymore, and the thought just makes me sad. I need to call off the wedding. (to a third): My future husband and I are both liberals, and we’ve had many conversations about our political beliefs and opinions regarding last names specifically, and I thought we were both on the same page. He has not expressed discomfort/insecurity with my decision to keep my last name until now, and it just feels so unexpected and out of the blue :/ Commenter: NTAH. That right there is a guy who's trying to marry his mom...not you. Fuck a bullet, that's a nuke and you best dodge it. Think about how he and his mother will try to control your life and your future children's lives. Run girl...run OOP: I really thought I loved him, and I just don’t know anymore 😭 I can’t imagine a future being tied down to a man that doesn’t agree with me, though Commenter: Your conscience is right; imagine how much say he and his mother would allow a “woke whore”🤢 over whether she went out to work and had financial independence, over how to raise any children, over whether to have children. Cut yourself loose, your conscience won’t do you wrong. OOP: You’re right- his mother is definitely not my cup of tea, and while I thought I could ignore it, this is definitely over the line 😬 Commenter: INFO: Who's financing the wedding, please? Because he's looking like a hobosexual choosing beggar. OOP: I was financing a majority of the wedding. We have a shared saving fund we were both contributing to, however, I have a higher income than he does, and offered to pay more (to a different commenter): Yes- I have a steady income modeling, own my own place, and have spent the last however many months budgeting and saving for this wedding :/ my now ex fiancé was just helping me pay bills for my home by contributing some of his income Commenter: He called you a whore, he doesn’t love or respect you. That alone would be a deal breaker for me. Run while you still can. Throw a “I dodged a bullet” party in place of the reception. Or have the food donated to a local homeless shelter OOP: Giving the food to a homeless shelter is an awesome idea! Thank you :) I’ll definitely check it out Commenter: I'm stuck on the cake thing. Bakers don't bake an entire wedding cake as a "sample." Did you actually buy two cakes? OOP: The baker was a fairly close acquaintance of ours, and he baked a very small-scaled model of what our cake would look like for us, so we could better visualize it in comparison with the rest our decor, etc. He went above and beyond, and the model sized cake was delicious….the lettering, however, was not (to a different commenter): He’s my fiancés high school best friend, and he’s an extremely sweet guy EDIT: To clarify: I gave him the opportunity to do couples counseling as well as agreeing that we could do joint last names on any future children’s birth certificates, along with trying to have a rational conversation with him. The argument STARTED when he called me a “woke whore” for my decision (the one he had previously agreed to), and that’s when I told him it may be in our best interest to call off the wedding and banned his mother. The main reason I’m upset is not because of his desire for me to take his last name, but that he originally told me he was fine with it, and then went behind my back and changed things against my wishes. Update in Comments: June 17, 2024 (Next Day) Yesterday evening, I made the decision to text my fiancé and call off the wedding. I texted him the following message: “Hey. I just wanted to let you know that the wedding is off. Please inform your relatives/friends that the only Mrs. Smith they will find standing near the aisle will be your mom. I will mail back your ring to your mothers address, but please do not get in touch with me after this, or this woke whore will take your sorry ass to court” To which he responded with a long profession of his love, including several “I didn’t mean it”s as well as “it was an accident” I left this message on read, and comfortably blocked his number…however I didn’t expect to receive a call from his MOTHER an hour later, who ran her mouth at me over the phone, and called me a “crazy bitch”, and informed me that she was going to make my life a living hell for what I did to her son. I already made plans to change my lock and install a front porch camera, but should I be doing anything else to protect myself? I am also receiving nasty messages from my ex fiancés friends, threatening me for my decision. I will plan to donate any/all food to a nearby homeless shelter, and I like another users idea to contact the baker and have the lettering changed to “woke whore” instead. I will also contact any of my own friends/family about the cancellation and give my best explanation, as well as canceling the venue, photographer, etc. Thank you all! Relevant Comments: Commenter: OP- good for you!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. I would keep any messages and voicemails and take them to the police for a restraining order. She seems unhinged. I’d also make a simple post or send a message that anyone interested in trying to harass you will have some explaining to do to the police etc. You literally dodged a bullet and good for you for not putting up with that bullshit!! OOP: Ty! I’ve already printed out several screenshots and recorded voicemails just in case I need them in the unfortunate event that this escalates even more Commenter: Do you have a friend or family member who can come stay with you for a few days? Just in case ex or mommy shows up? OOP: I do! My parents will be staying with me until I can install new locks and cameras Commenter: Might be a good idea to go stay with family until you get the cameras set up. Up to you if you want to unblock him but leave him on read to gather more evidence, just in case you do have to take this to the police. Unsure how unbalanced his family and friends are, but may want to notify your work that this is going on so they can be mindful as well. Hopefully this is all overkill but better to be safe then sorry. Treat it like a divorce. Record yourself gathering anything of his that was at your place and have someone else deliver it to him. OOP: My work is going to be one of my biggest concerns. I work at an agency that I do modeling work for, and I’ve been doxxed because of it in the past, and forced to move. I may talk to my employer there whom I am very close with, just so he is aware of the situation. I will keep this all in mind- thank you! Update 2 in Comments: 12 hours later My ex fiancés mom just now texted me, informing me that my fiance had been cheating with a girl from his high school during the entire length of our relationship. In her text, she included several suggestive screenshots of conversations my fiance and said girl had together. I left her on read. My self esteem is crushed. Everything else was just the icing for this massive slice of shit cake. I have never felt more confused, used, broken, and betrayed as I do right now. I feel so physically sick I want to die. Relevant Comments: Commenter: WOW. Your fiancé and his mom are a real piece of work. I’m so sorry that you are being made to suffer in this way by them. Hopefully you can find the time to reflect on how much better your life will be without these toxic, woman-hating people in your life. Even if it is not the life you thought it was going to be, it will be a better one. And a million congrats to you for having the courage to call off a wedding so late and last-minute, for not caving to his weak attempts to apologize, and for withstanding the harassment from his friends and family. You are such a strong person, you are already so much better off, and you will be even happier and better off as time goes on. OOP: Thank you- that means a lot. It sounds like either way, I was always plan B in my fiancés life. The only plan B I’m willing to take is a pill to prevent myself from having kids and subjecting them to this POS father. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes and her own page Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4 EDITOR’S NOTE: Removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older comments, check out the previous BoRUs above Please note that OOP's latest new updates were not on this sub NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment RECAP Original Post: November 14, 2023 I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them. Update #1: November 27, 2023 Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook. Update #2: December 12, 2023 So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays. Inheritance: December 16, 2023 I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much. Christmas: December 25, 2023 I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve. Brother’s call: December 26, 2023 Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited. Brother's Here: December 27, 2023 My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive! Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024 I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space. Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024 My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys. This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression. Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly. My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined. Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone. ----NEW UPDATE---- Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024 Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care. Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them. We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office. Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it. RELEVANT COMMENTS fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks! OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder. I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it. MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play. OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't. As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.   Update: February 27, 2024 My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits. Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her. There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet. Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game! RELEVANT COMMENT Ok-Meeting-8588: That sounds nice, and I hope this does get resolved peacefully. Just make sure the pastor doesn’t try to use the whole “mistakes were made on both ends so everyone needs to apologize because everyone equally messed up.” You did nothing wrong and you don’t owe anyone any apologies. OOP: Oh, I definitely plan on it. Dad's confirmed that we did nothing wrong, that we were done dirty, and I think he passed that on to the pastor. Though, I am expecting some "turn the other cheek" talk, which is to be expected.   Latest Update here: Final BoRU   THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I (F37) built a small online business. I went solo after the initial group I was going to work with basically did nothing but toss around some ideas and demand endless meetings that took place too often aside from daily calls that led nowhere. It was a vicious circle and I realized that they had zero knowledge of what they were trying to achieve and were pretty using me as a resource. I removed myself from their presence and started to do my own thing. The minute that I had to invest in actually creating my company was when it became official that they had zero claim as they never wanted to put down a penny but wanted to latch on to other people for knowledge, money, contacts. Etc. Important: I developed my own idea that I refused to put on the table. I’m very cautious about getting involved with other people business wise. This is important to the story because it was a huge lesson. Also, none of my boyfriends have been allowed insight into my finances/career/business life. Things are very stable for me. I’ve been dipping my toes in acquisition and bought two small companies for a very modest price and have been working on growing them. I met my (now) ex-boyfriend, Kenny M38, around the time I bought one of the tiny companies. I’m not a naturally extroverted person, so we had situations when he tried to ask about my finances. All he knows is that I’m self-employed a few superficial details but I’m not comfortable sharing more than that. We were together for 2 years, and I did open up to him about so many things about my childhood and myself that I thought he was my best friend. He introduced me to his family and everything. I would have loved to have a long-term relationship, but he flat out said he wasn’t interested in marriage. This hurt a lot, but I had no choice but to respect his decision and see how I could best deal with my feelings. He said he still wanted our relationship but there will be no marriage. Fast forward and he invited his family over to his house. I brought some food and got to spend time with his Grandma. Everything was okay until his siblings started to low key pitching me business ideas. I made the stupid move to use the excuse that I didn’t have access to my computer to read the stuff they were sending me, so they brought me a tablet. I was surprised and put off, but when BIL said something that led me to think they thought I could invest, I politely disengaged and went back to the BBQ. Kenny changed after that. He hardly held my hand or gave me affection. It was such a drastic change that I asked what was going on and he point blank said he needed a different kind of person by his side. I was so surprised at his bluntness that I couldn’t even react except by avoiding asking more questions because I kind of knew it was because of the BBQ. I know Kenny would love for his family to be successful, but I wouldn’t agree on being someone’s “step of the ladder”. I’m not wealthy. I just have some nice things because I’ve done my best to look after myself and pulled my own weight and I hate being used. Kenny has had issues holding down a job for a year but won’t tell me what’s going on and that’s fine, we will never be married nor build a home together. Last December, I was still trying to build the courage to walk away from the relationship as I saw no way out and this affected my libido (and he complained). His grandmother invited everyone to a family reunion. I attended because she’s such a sweet old lady and she was looking forward to my cheesecake and I really didn't mind. She’s Kenny’s paternal grandma. My ex-Fil and ex-Mil are divorced. I don’t know how to verbalize this because I'm so mad, but Kenny used that occasion to engagement-prank me. As background, this pranking thing put a dent in our relationship and was one of the thighs we had many issues about. His pranks made me feel stressed out and had a humiliation component. Because of this, I stopped talking to him for two weeks before he told me that marriage wasn’t a possibility. He stopped doing it after I cut him off. So, I was trying to get some punch and noticed everyone looking at me and like there were a lot more people in the living room. I’m kind of dense when surrounded by crowds, and I think this was a little helpful because it took me a hot minute to understand what was happening. I turned around and saw Kenny kneeling down. Initially, I thought he was trying to do a dancing skeet or whatever. He drew a small box and handed it to me, and he was laughing. I was petrified because things didn’t make sense. He opened the box on my face and showed a small aluminum foil ring in it. I immediately turned around and kept walking. I wish everything had died right there. Everyone was laughing. I had to fight back my tears because for a split second during all the confusion, I thought it might be true. He followed me to my car along with some of his relatives. All I wanted was to leave as soon as possible because I was ashamed. I exploded when he wouldn't shut up and tried to get me to relax and go back to the party. I'm embarrassed because I know I made a scene by driving home and gathering all his shit and leaving it in a trash bag on his grandma's porch and his family saw me. He tried to reach out and asked me to apologize to his family and that I caused him problems by writing all his failures in our group chat. I don't know if I should even apologize to his grandma as the whole trash bag with his belongings drama took place outside and she wasn't around. I don't think I should apologize but also, I know some of the onlookers seemed perplexed and embarrassed. AITA? I already dumped him. submitted by /u/Secure-Monitor-400 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

This happened in 2008-2009, but I thought this community would appreciate the story. In 2008 I had just left my husband. I caught him cheating multiple times, and I was just over it. A new girl (we will call her Amy) started at my job and we made a fast friendship. I was in the middle of packing up and moving out of my house. I needed a roommate for a new apartment I was looking at because my wages weren't going to pay the bills. So we move in together and live peacefully together for a while. I was moving on with my life. I had gotten better paying job, was spending time with my friends, and I felt ok with life at the time. At the time I was 25, single, and NOT looking for anything serious so I had a fwb who would stop over a few times a week. Amy was cool with it on the surface. It did not affect her in any way. My friend didn't hang out at our place. He didn't eat at our place. He didn't use our household supplies. My relationship with him affected her exactly ZERO percent, but I guess she was a little green about the fact that I was getting some attention and she was not. She would flirt with him, go visit him where he worked, etc, but he absolutely not interested in her. This is where things started to go downhill. For context: She had been married a few times (she was 13 yrs older than me) and the dads had full custody of their respective kids. She was dating someone but he was already in a relationship so he wasn't about to commit to anything besides stopping by for 30 mins after he worked the night shift every day. I tried to point out all the red flags, but she was convinced it was love. This dude used to hit on me constantly in front her. He was very open about being in a committed relationship with his girlfriend so I have no idea why Amy thought this was going anywhere. After a few months I met someone I wanted to be serious with so we started dating. We will call the guy Tom. Tom and I got serious pretty fast. He was living in a horrible situation so he moved in with Amy and I pretty quickly. I think it was after about a month of dating. So we have our room and she has her own room. The bills went from 50/50 to 33/33/34 to make sure things were still even. We had a shared kitchen, LR, and bathroom. After Tom moved in, she started openly hitting on him in front of me. Every guy I had at my house (even just friends) she had to hit on. None of them ever took her up on it. Every single one turned her down and I think this added greatly to her oncoming behavior. Over the next couple of weeks Amy did a complete 180. She stopped paying rent, refused to buy any food and would just eat whatever Tom and I bought, would not wash her dishes. We had two cats - one hers and one mine, and she would never clean the litter in her room so her cat would use our hallway floor as a bathroom every. single. day. Every day when I got home from work there was a big steaming pile of cat shit right inside my front door sitting in the middle of a giant puddle of urine. My cat was locked in my room at night with her own supplies so there was zero chance it was her. It was the same thing every morning by the front door. Whenever she was done eating the food she stole from me, she would set her plate with the leftovers ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR for her cat to pick at. She would leave the plate there for days. To the point that if I didn't pick them up, there would be multiple plates on the floor with food in various stages of decay. All of my dishes started going missing, except for the cat's plates, of course. And what dishes were left, she refused to wash EVER. She used my toilet paper, my laundry soap, EVEN MY TAMPONS. This went on for about 2 months and it just kept getting progressively worse. She would use panty liners every day and would change them multiple times a day and stuff them in the garbage can in the bathroom. She would leave it there completely over flowing and spilling onto the floor for days until I caved and put on gloves and threw them out. The can would be full in about a week so this happened a few times. that's not even the worst of it. My expensive DSLR went missing. I was a photography hobbyist at the time, but it was my dream to be a professional photographer and own my own photography business. I would shoot stuff for friends and family as practice, and one day I grabbed my camera bag from the SHARED living room and as soon as I picked it up, I felt my heart sink into my stomach. You know that instant dread that grips you the second you realize something truly gut wrenching has happened... I open the bag and of course the camera is gone. That was an expensive camera for that time of my life and it was a gift from my parents so I was truly devastated. I couldn't prove a thing and I wasn't even sure how long it had been missing. It could have been her bf that took it, but either way it was gone. So now this is it. This is the last straw. I need this bitch out. I went from nice girl to fucking psycho in about 30 seconds. I'm not the violent type and I hate confrontation. I'm NOT waiting for a fucking eviction to go through and I really didn't have the money for that anyway so here's where I start my petty revenge. Amy wants to live here with me rent free, stealing my shit, hitting on my boyfriend, and neglecting her cat... so be it. But its going to be on my fucking terms. One vital piece of information: in my divorce, the dickhead moved back in with mommy and I took everything from the house to my new apartment so I owned everything and the lease was in my name. I started by changing the wifi password and the computer password. The following week I had my cable company come and remove the cable lines to her room. I bought a small fridge for my room and a cabinet and put all my food and personal supplies in my bedroom and put a secure lock on my door. I hid my pots and pans. I locked up the soap and toilet paper. The cabinets were EMPTY. I paid for it all, and I would be the only one using it. When her cat shit on the floor, I would pick it up and smear it on her bedroom door knob. Overflowing bathroom trash cans filled to the brim with her panty liners were dumped on her bed. I removed the knobs to the washer and the dryer. I did everything possible to make her life uncomfortable. I did other small stuff. Anything that came to mind. A few months prior Amy and I had been working at the same store and she borrowed another coworkers laptop. She ended up getting fired, but she never gave the laptop back and the coworker was really trying to get it back from her. Amy ghosted her, of course, so while she was out one day, I went in and took the laptop and gave it back to its rightful owner. Amy called the cops on me and said I stole her computer, but I explained what happened. she admitted to the cops that the computer wasn't hers and the cops said it wasn't their problem anymore. That one really made her hate me. she wasn't working at the time so its not like she had money to do anything or buy anything. She was literally just existing in room in my apartment. She would disappear during the day but I have no idea where she was going. She moved out after about 6 weeks. When she moved out of my apartment, I didn't even know she had left. I just noticed she wasn't coming or going for about a week. so Tom and I cleaned out her room. She left clothes, broken furniture, a cardboard dresser, and FIVE 39 gallon garbage bags of trash we collected from the mass piles of panty liners, rotting food, and ordinary trash we found in the room. It's a miracle we didn't have roaches. I found all my missing dishes, silver ware, and cups all covered in food and grossness. I just threw it all away. I wish I still had the photos though. Oddly enough, about 6 months later, I opened my back door to take out the trash and my camera was in a bag hanging from my doorknob. I know Amy definitely didn't return it. For about 2 years after, every time I would find out that Amy was living with someone new, I would message them and send them the photos of her room. Papers in the trash that had HER NAME on them. And I would tell them the whole story. One time it caused the people she was living with to throw her shit out on the porch. She had just moved in and they had small kids and they didn't want to risk it with her. I stopped after that. She knew it was me telling them too so I figured I had sufficiently made my point. ​ Edit: she took the cat with her but not before she threw my cat outside. My cat was missing for 10 days. submitted by /u/ThisIsMyCircus40 to r/pettyrevenge [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/OBlondeOne in r/EntitledPeople on Sunday, February 26, 2023, with updates as comments on original post through Saturday, March 4, 2023. Spoiler space for mobile users with some tidbits about clothing donations: Americans discard an estimated 68 pounds of clothing a year, while buying 10 pounds of recycled clothes. In 2006, 2.5 billion pounds of fabric were kept from the landfills by used-clothing purchases. Yet about 99 percent of what is thrown away can be recycled. Clothing and household textiles, consisting of fabrics such as cotton, polyester, nylon and rayon, make up almost 5 percent of the total garbage in landfills. Clothes are typically recycled by donating them to charities like the Salvation Army or Goodwill Industries, which will provide tax forms for deductions. You can also sell them at consignment stores for store credit or cash or on the Internet through auction or donation sites. Charities will either sell the used clothing and use the proceeds for their work, or donate the items to the needy. About 20 percent of clothing donations are turned over to thrift shops. The remainder, sold to textile recyclers, can end up as wiping rags, insulation, upholstery stuffing, ingredients in paper products or used clothing exports. ​ trigger warnings: verbal abuse, gaslighting, drug use ​ Some people... - Sunday, February 26, 2023 [NOTE: I have added a couple of clarifying words in brackets to reduce quoting.] I'm part of a local donation group, so every now and then, I get asked to help with clothes donations. Someone passes away or downsizes, and I will help wash, fold, sort, and deliver the clothes to various free stores. Sometimes, if we are notified of someone in the community in need, we will deliver essentials like winter or kids clothing to their house. We're just a group within the community -there is no religious, political or ulterior motive. We just spread extra through the community as needed as discreetly as possible to help out. This particular situation just hurts my head, and I'm still trying to figure out how it escalated the way it did. So a few days ago there was a fire in our community which left 3 families displaced. We collected what we could in the sizes they needed, and off we went. We dont ask for anything in return other than knowing the families are a little better off. We always apologize and explain that while they may not be they styles they're accustomed to ( as donated clothing ) but at least it is clean and warm. If they had specific needs to let a member of the group know and we would do what we can. A lot of our collected items belonged to other families whose children outgrew the items. It's anonymous and it's a way for our more comfortable community members to help out others within the community with this. It's one thing I love about my community - people don't hesitate to help where needed. I was given an address and head out as usual. Pull in, get the bags and coats to the door and knock. After that... I'm not sure what to think. It started off as it usually does. There was a mother and 3 children, so I explain that there are 3 bags of clothing in the sizes submitted, and a box of age appropriate toys just like with the other families. I thought I heard wrong when she said she preferred my coat and just said what? She called me rude and told me again,' This stuff is OK, but I want the coat you're wearing '. When I told her, "No, I'm sorry, but I just bought this coat she got angry and accused me of picking through donation bags for "the good stuff." I've never run into this issue before. None of the group members are well off. In fact, that's why we do what we do. Because life is hard here and we believe in sharing what we have as a community. We collect good quality items from those with extra and distribute it freely to those that need it or have specific needs. Sometimes we all take items from our own closets if they're needed more elsewhere. Last year we raised funds to help purchase a wheelchair accessible vehicle for a family. The year before it was a young family whose matriarch was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This years cause is to build 4 'tiny homes' for the homeless in our community to use as needed. Our goal is to provide stability so they can successfully reintegrate during and after addiction rehabilitation. We all do what we can to try to help, basically. It's a hard world to feel alone in. Now, my coat is expensive ( $250 ) but I've also saved gift cards for 2 years and anxiously watched for post-season sales before finally taking the plunge and got it for 75% off. Maybe I messed up by wearing it on this errand? I don't know. After I said no, this is my coat a second time, she started yelling at me. I just left the bags on the doorstep and drove away. Today I wake up to a slew of texts from the group asking me to explain why I refused to give the mother any winter coats, and why I left everything at the end of the driveway... allegedly in a ditch? They aren't questioning. Most are downright accusatory. Some are just borderline mean. It's the kind of day where I feel like giving up on this making the world a better place thing. I've been where these families are. And people helped me just like this. I know what it feels like to rely on others... so I do try to be compassionate and understanding without being condescending or pitying. I don't often talk about what I do because nobody needs to know what came from where, or who is getting what. It's just paying it forward. I do this because it's been done for me, and it's the right thing to do. It's that simple. But after today... I don't even want to reply to anyone. It's not just that woman. It's the texts that are getting kinda nasty at this point. It's these people obviously talking about me behind my back. It's how quick they were to assume I must have done this. I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore after all this. I've been part of this for 5 years and have never had a complaint before. I feel betrayed by people I thought were my friends. It just all feels gross, dramatic and depressing now, and that's now how this is supposed to feel. === I could understand if this was, like, a fancy fur coat or something. This is literally just a rather plain looking long coat that happens to be super warm. I don't get it. It's only been an official group with a board for about 4 months. But we have been doing this for 5 years now as a project of mine and the current board president that gathered consiserable traction and volunteers/funding as time went on. They so need policies in place. If only to protect the clients that use the service. But as a new board we are all just learning the official ropes and red tape as we go. The one person I thought I could count on is currently the one insisting this happened as the client describes. I'm just so confused. We did need a board in this case as we are partially federally funded- the community pantry is, anyways. It's a requirement. Unfortunately. I've had 1 out of 5 [members of the charity group] text asking if I'm ok, and what happened. The rest seem to believe that I did this. I don't know how to move on from this. Because the truth will come out eventually in a community this small. It always does. The question now is do I want to be involved with people like this. I don't think I can trust them after this. === Maybe take a breather from the group. The way they treated you is horrible. The issue is I can't avoid them either. I'm going to have to answer eventually, either via text or in person. The longer I wait, the worse it will be. I know that. But I just don't want to deal with this either. Small community. The truth will come out eventually. But it's now obvious that I can't trust these people. No matter what's said after this, the damage has been done. Update: As suggested, I did text them as a group in bullet form stating facts only. ( edit: sorry for formatting. Copied from text ,) ' Items were carried to front door as per usual Client requested my personal attire Client accused me of theft from donation bags Client verbally abused me I left the following on Client's doorstep : ½ bag of women's clothing sizes m-l : 1+½ bag children's clothing sizes 3-8 : 1x bag of assorted linens & towels : 1x box of assorted children's toys and books I am trying very hard to understand the context of some of the messages I've received about this, and am truly confused as to why anyone would think I would purposefully degrade a Client. You all know my history and reasons I participate. As I feel I no longer have a place of trust within our group, I am formally resigning from my roles within the committee, and the (group) I will, with your blessing, remain on the Helping Tree as a contact' So far the replies are very interesting. They range from apologetic to accusatory to narcissistic. The most interesting one so far, I think, was not intended for me and insinuated that this was for the best. I can't believe how naive I've been. There's an emergency meeting being scheduled for next week, as apparently you're not just allowed to resign mid-term from a board like this without a valid reason. Which I think I have. The benefit of this is my accuser also has to give an official statement in the meeting minutes because ive resigned. Which I'm allowed to attend and comment on. Which adds validity ti my reasons for resigning. Would it be petty if I wore my coat again, or should I choose something older? Genuinely asking. I don't want to make things worse. I just want out to do my own thing. Rumors are already starting and seem to be in my favor. Small towns are terrific/terrible for that. And I've just been texted asking me to withdraw my resignation ' for fear this may cause an irreparable rift in our charitable group'. I have 8 months left to my current term as Secretary. A position that requires the trust of the board members to record accurate notes. Which I no longer feel I have. I don't want my character unfairly questioned again after I've worked so damn hard to build it up. My resignation was intended to prevent drama and divide. It is doing the opposite. What would you do? I feel like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Not allowed to resign? What are they going to do, ground you? With a formal board, there are steps to take to remove a member of the core board ( pres, vice president, secretary, treasurer, committee heads). Or so I'm being told. This may be a stall tactic. I'm going over the current bylaws and policies but it's small font and a hard read. I'm surprised/touched by how many clients are defending me, but I think this is what is causing a lot of drama and distrust both within the organization and with those that use it. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid by quietly resigning. It just sucks, for lack of a better word. I feel like the religious have it wrong. It's not judge not lest ye be judged. It's just be judged these days. Going forward, it needs to be mandatory that there be two delivery people on every delivery. No excuses. There will be people in the future that are in dire need of your group's services. Please do not let that woman's behavior stop you from helping those who appreciate your work. And bonus if the other helper has a phone's camera on . You have documentation, and they grow manners if they didn't already have them. Has anyone gone by the house again to see if there was really a ditch?? Oh my... My dash cam! I'm going to check it. Thank you! Thank you so much! No audio. No clear AHA! moment. But it does show enough. It shows me pulling in, and that there's nothing on the porch. It shows the car moving slightly as I take the bags out, and it does show a bag being deposited on the porch as well as at least 2 coats/snowsuits. As I back out you can almost see the whole porch. You do see her outside but the definition isn't good enough to see her face or what she's doing. I'm also still not sure what proof-if any-has been submitted by my accuser(s). Who, I'm told, has been dropped from the Helping Tree community pantry registry. I'm actually starting to get very angry. That woman messed up. But she has 3 kids under her care that deserve to eat and be clothed. This is going way too far. Update: Ungrateful client is board presidents former sister in law. And yes, they're still friendly. Ah. Small towns... 🤷‍♀️ I can't wait for next week... I KNEW IT! This whole fiasco smelled strongly of being COMPLETELY orchestrated! Typical small town intrigue and power struggle when there's only ONE that's struggling for the power! President wants you kicked out because you're a CO-FOUNDER and SHE wants to take ALL the accolades and applause from the community! Go get your reputation back, sweet Lady! You ARE needed and necessary to the community, if you weren't, you wouldn't have been doing this charitable work for FIVE years! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!! I'm trying to figure out how to walk away, but still acknowledge what's going on without hurting the board-they do good work that's needed. I can't torpedo that no matter how I feel. And that's the problem. I think I'm going to ask for an official board inquest -which is eithin my rights according to our by-laws - before I go. I can't see someone doing this over reputation or clout. I certainly hope not, anyways. But if the inquest finds this was planned ( who tf does this? ) I would have grounds to have the board President removed. It's not pettiness- I don't want to see this done to someone else. But you're right. Something stinks here and it gets worse by the day. I'm going to look into [comment ends here] I'm going to submit a statement to the board, with footage from my dash cam that shows at least 1 bag clearly on the porch. Unfortunately, I forgot to itemize the coat/3 snowsuits & boots dropped off in my group text, so I do have to justify that one somehow. I also just heard they dropped off another 3 bags to the woman, including winter gear. I think it's an attempt at damage control, but I also think they're moving in the wrong direction, given what I'm hearing from many. If she tries to sell the excess, like many seem to think she will, this will all come to a head so much faster. Either way, I'm ironically the least invested in this around here at this point. Small town drama ... I admit, looking back, it is odd that I was given this client when others were closer. I had thought it may be because of scheduling conflicts but I'm finding that's not the case either Interestingly, there are rumors going around that this was staged. I'm trying not to pay attention to rumors without proof but I'm starting to wonder.... I hate this with a passion. It all seems so damn stupid. I'm still so confused. The meeting has been scheduled for Wednesday night ( 2 days time ). I haven't decided if I'm going yet. I don't want this drama to derail what has been a good thing so far. I may just submit my statement and resignation and leave it at that. Popular opinion is on my side so why make it worse? I agree with this so much!! People have had to do that here in my town too. We have small groups that helps out the community that aren't in any organization or charitable groups, just themselves giving back. We had specific residents in town that were running their mouth and taking "donations" and selling them for money. Eventually these residents were burning through different community groups and established organizations and they would complain about each one saying they weren't helping and deliberately causing trouble. These groups did post on Facebook telling their sides of the situation, just like you suggested. Well those residents kept doing this and blaming people for not helping, blah blah blah. It didn't take long for the rest of the town to realize that these specific residents were pulling these scams and they were booted out of all the community groups in town. Sometimes you do have to stand up and tell your side to the community. Eventually the truth will come out. You are brilliant! After reading this I started thinking about other groups that this woman may have been a part of at her previous location. Well. WELL. I now have 4 witnesses to past behavior willing to come with me Wednesday from 3! groups that have been similarly burned by this woman. The question is.. do I want to take it that far? I do- and I don't. I feel this has taken up far more valuable time, and it's taking away from the original purpose of the group. I'm also being asked to submit my name for board president by the majority of the board for the upcoming term. So I'm being supported ( now ). I still don't trust any of them to have my back should anything happen. And if I replace the Pres shit will happen. [Comment was deleted, but basically said, "Wear your coat to the meeting, and bring the receipt for it!"] I don't think I need to bring the receipt. They are all aware of when I got my coat, and what I paid for it. I'm being told there are 2 board members who seem to think I'm blowing this out of proportion ( Pres and Treasurer ) and should just take the reprimand ' maturely'. When ( if ) I go in Wednesday I'm just going to tell then simply that I feel I no longer have the trust required for my appointed position, and am respectfully resigning to prevent further drama. Pass in my official resignation and walk away. I've also discovered the emergency meeting is to consider 3 resignations-not just mine. OP, defend yourself!!! There’s something fishy about this. Also, call CPS (anonymously?) and report her for being unstable. No. I won't be petty and call CPS Those kids don't deserve to be dragged into this, too. === Maybe you should start your own group with people you can trust? I've actually been thinking of a fringe group for more rural locations that don't fall.within community boundaries. This may just be divine intervention in disguise. Update. The meeting. My apologies This will be long. As I parked, there were a couple that stopped to say hi, but the majority of the board did not acknowledge me. My accuser though.. she had a great laugh at my expense, and literally taunted me in front of the others on the way in. 'ooh here for more, are you? Guess you didn't get enough of me yet' and blows me a kiss. She showed up with the Pres. I feel that's relevant. Especially seeming as she ran home. The meeting started at 6 pm. I was not allowed to sit at the table until the issue was brought up... I sat, alone, for over 45 minutes. Finally someone peeked outside at 6:53 ( to see if I was still there? ) and called me in. My accuser wasn't there. I say down and the first thing said to me was ' well. We may have made a mistake' followed by this big flowery apology that stank of bullshit and was gaslit better than a propane stove. 'You know that when a complaint comes in, we have to investigate it' At that point I just exploded. Like... I didn't even talk to my kids like that when they were babies. It was the kind of tone you have when talking to the very simplest of minds. I told them there's a massive difference between investigating and outright accusing, and that I didn't appreciate how their ineptitude at leading a board nearly derailed the whole organization and just put a really bad light on what we were doing. She says ' by unanimous decision, we've decided not to accept your resignation. Welcome back' I've likely been this confused before, but I don't remember when. I was expecting this to be much harder. I had a factual speech ready and everything. Walked in and it was just 'we oopsied, oh well teehee' 'Well that's unfortunate that you refuse to accept it, because it's given and I'm not rescinding it. I'm out. And it seems you all know exactly why. For those who have reached out to me- I'll consider your offer of leading this board, but at this time, I'm not comfortable with the lack of trust and transparency I'm seeing. ' and left. My phone has been blowing up all night. I meant to update immediately but it just kept ringing and tinging. I don't even know how so many found out ( good old gossip is my guess ) but I had over 30 calls and just as many texts/social media messages. So. What hspprned while i was waiting outside. My accuser decided to get on something pre-meeting. Literally acted like a wild animal at one point. I'm told it was so bad that the police and Child Protection Services were called by 4 of 5 ladies present, and when told they were called, my accuser took off running home. That's a whole 'nother story. The kids are now safe, I'm told. There's that. The versions I'm hearing are surprisingly similar, for once. So I'm going to tell you the events as I was told. Pres' husband is apparently an addict. Who gets his stash from the sis in law/accuser. I'm not clear on the details but I'm told blackmail was involved. Common word says she threatened to spill the beans on hubby. You know how it goes. Get hurt, get prescription, get hooked, get cheaper street drugs because they're cheaper and no doctor regulates them/questions your dose. There's a rumor he is also sleeping with sustained in law but this is not confirmed... but has been going around for the better part of a year now. Maybe I should start listening to more rumors because I had no idea. Accuser started off normal, if ' twitchy'. She went to the washroom and shit allegedly went sideways not long after she came out. At one point she was laying on the floor, ' slithering and grunting' like an animal'. I wish I could have seen it, but kinda glad I didn't. When Accuser left, it swayed the remaining 2 votes my way. There was a discussion on how to ' handle' me where the Pres just said she'll follow the board on the vote after they shot down her suggestion that the complaint still be addressed. The way she glared at me when I came in ( yes, wearing my coat! ) tells me she was not happy about it either. The vote was unanimous to keep me. I did not wish to stay after all that. Tomorrow they have an open board meeting to tell people what happened, as transparency is ironically a promise we made to the community so they know exactly who and what they're supporting. I won't be there. But a lot of angry and confused people will be. I'm glad I'll be missing it, but I have a feeling I'll hear all about it. I'm told there will be some calling for Pres' resignation. We shall see, I guess. I started this feeling lower than low. Tonight I'm surrounded by positivity and I feel GOOD about this decision. Is this Karma? It feels like Karma. Steps are already being taken to form what we will call The Fringe Farm. We will collect fresh farm goods donated by local farmers and deliver to homes that need a little extra, focusing on those that live between communities and people new to rural life. Eventually I hope to offer clothing and household goods, but I need to find a source outside the community so I'm not taking from the original group. I also have a preliminary board. Comprised of 3 of 5 members of the original board haha I've told then they have to finish their term at the group (because they do damn good work, and it's not fair to those that need them to just walk away-hypocritical? Msybe. But i refuse to torpedo the group ). 2 still submitted resignations because they're just floored by that last meeting. Theirs was depending upon mine, so their exit meetings are being scheduled for next week. Because they no longer have a secretary to record minutes I'm being asked to. I'm also being asked to submit my name for Pres should the current one agree to resign. I haven't decided if I will. I feel that will come across as petty, and tbh it's no longer my business. Thank you for the encouragement. I'm not sure if I would have had the courage to attend if not for the overwhelming kindness and support shown here. By strangers. * shakes head*. You have no idea how much this meant to me when I needed it. Thank you. Update #2. The open meeting was a shitshow, I'm told. Pres was called to resign. Refused. So the board resigned. The group is now being led by the Pres and that's it. So it's essentially dead. You need minimum 3 board members to continue as a registered charity/nonprofit. Nobody ( out of approx 50 ppl ) raised a hand when asked if they wanted to join. The Fringe Farm, by comparison, has more volunteers than we can organize. This is the group started after you lovely folks helped me decide staying wasn't worth the trouble. I have mixed feelings over this. One.. it's nice to feel validated. The other... I really don't like how this went down for too many reasons to count. Our first task as a new org? Writing an iron clad policy everyone agrees with. Including specific steps to collect, file and address complaints or concerns. ​ Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/midesaka to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is leggomylego75389263 OOP deleted their account AITA for suing my ex and her boyfriend Jan 16, 2021 My ex and I divorced three years ago. She was cheating, but at this point I don’t care about the relationship anymore. The pending lawsuit has nothing to do with her or him, but rather their actions. My ex and I have a son 13m that we split time with 50/50. He’s a great kid that interests have changed a lot tbh as I imagine more kids/teenagers tend to do through the years. One thing my son was heavily into at some point was legos. He use to play with them all the time, and personally I think they’re a great toy for different reasons. I use to love playing them with him, and to this day I still collect boxes that I leave unopened as a collection. Well my ex and I divorced she got with someone who loved legos more I guess? From what I know he loves making creations and building the sets in. I don’t care.. seems cool. He does one thing I think is very very weird.. He uses crazy glue so the sets can’t break or pieces can’t be lost. It seems so weird to me. The issue is, I was out of town for all of three days last week for medical reasons, and my son wanted to get his ps4 so he could play it at his moms. This isn’t out of the ordinary at all and he has a key, so he let me know he would be stopping over for it. I told him to have fun when I saw him on the entry camera. My wife’s husband was with him which was a no-no. I told him via speaker to not go in and to wait on the porch. He flinched but walked in anyway. I sent my ex a text telling her to call him and tell him he’s one minute away from a cop call. He left my home with a bag in hand which I didn’t think much of because my son had his games too. Well my son texted me later that evening and said he didn’t know it at the time but he’s pretty sure SD took some of my sets. These are all old sets and two are worth big money. When I got home I confirmed the missing sets and called my ex. She had no idea but he admitted he took them but it was so son could have the sets to complete his collection... my son doesn’t even like legos anymore and told his mom he wouldn’t steal from me. My wife asked how much it would cost to replace them and unfortunately it’s more than their savings. Actually, it would take their house down payment plus more. I told them if they didn’t pay in two weeks I was suing and pressing charges. The price in the sets makes it a felony. My ex and her husband are saving for a house which would give my son more space when he’s there, but those sets were going help pay for his education someday or a home of his own. I filed the police report and have talked to a lawyer and we’re moving forward with the suit. Everyone is calling me a joke because they are just toys, but I don’t get it. They are worth real money.. I’m not rich guys. I needed those to help with my sons future... but again taking this money does deny my son things at his moms house. AITA here?? Edit* I’ve been asked to add these facts. The sets have been opened which more than half their worth, and one was glued together. The damage was done already. The stolen items are: Kings Castle Milk truck Lego land train Carousel And the glued one was a Star Wars snow speeder. Some of these are one piece of a larger set. So if you lose one of five, you lose the value of one produce plus the value of the set as a whole. Second edit* Ex wife and boyfriend are the same as ex boyfriend.. I’m just a bad writer. Third/final edit for this post* I know I haven’t been here much but I have read many of your comments and taken them to heart. I know my spelling is poor guys, and I apologize for the format. Calling me names in my private message was not called for, and I am not a scalper. I enjoy buying these sets and do not intend to sell all of them, but I want my son to go to college and not worry about debt, so I want to sell the ones that I can to help. I never had the smarts for higher education but my son is not me, and I love him and want him to do better. Around 4:00 PM I called the local state police and met at their facility. I gave them all I had and gave my statement. My son is with me starting tonight so when I picked him up I sent him into GameStop and called his mom. I told her I had filed charges and I asked the cop to call me when everything was done so I could give him the opportunity to turn himself in. I wanted to be better than he treated me. I’ll save her reaction for a real update btw—- can someone please tell me how to update because I don’t really understand the steps in the main notes. I told my son when we got home what I did and why. My son said that I did the right thing because he didn’t want his step dad to think it was ok to do it again, and if he didn’t go to jail he’d rather be her away from him so it isn’t weird. update (removed, only screenshots recovered) update date unknown, removed after posted I apologize. I'm not the best at Reddit, and I guess the moderators at AITA deleted my update. If you have any follow up questions I'll try my best to answer you though it could take some time. I have received a few requests regarding posting an update and I did promise to update the situation once it was resolved, and as far as I have any say the headache is over for the most part. I can't say that I feel whole, but 'm not angry about it as I think the consequences are something to respect. I read through most of the comments and really appreciate the time most of you took out of your day to offer advice and well wishes I know I didn't respond to all of them, but your time and care were noticed. I accept all your judgements, but I must say your kindness blew me away while some took time out of their day just to be mean which is on you I guess. I understand legos are toys, but I enjoy the hunt and it's worth it to me. As I said, I decided to go to the police with the video, my statement, texts from my ex, and emails. I told the police I wanted this pursued as he had entered my house after being told not to and stole valuables. They took everything I had to offer and as of yesterday my ex's BF was arrested for a few different violations/laws. He was charged with grand larceny and breaking and entering among a few other charges. My ex is really upset at me, and him however she bailed him out so l'm guessing she isn't to upset with him. Ex's boyfriend has called a few times and showed up once. He left the used sets on my porch, and I'm not sure what he thinks that does at this stage. They aren't worthless, but their value is less than half. I told my lawyer he did this and she was blown away. I sent an email to my ex telling her and him to stay away from me and my home, and I only wanted to hear from her if it was concerning our child. This was his first offense to my knowledge so I don't expect him to do jail time however my lawyer said it was possible due to the amount of crimes and when/how they took place. Apparently doing that during the day is worse and he did it in front of my child which doesn't help him. I expect a leg they probation tbh with all of you, but I'm very far from a legal expert I spoke to the lawyer on Tuesday this week regarding the loss, and unfortunately l'm looking at a tough road ahead of me. The pieces stolen are valued at what they sell at auction which the local DA will decide which auctions are reputable. So, that could go different ways; moreover, the fact the boyfriend broke up my sets were irrelevant. The lawyer said it would be like stealing one baseball card out of an entire set and burning it. You are only owed the value of that one card EVEN IF YOU CAN'T GET THAT ONE CARD AGAIN! The fact he returned them is a admission of guilt she said, and that we could definitely reclaim the amount of money an unopened set for each would be worth, but it doesn't make the matter better in my opinion. I know a lot of you thought 10-20k wasn't nearly enough for a house down payment, but in my neck of the woods it's plenty, and my lawyer recommended we go forward with a civil suit and I agreed. With that and the legal charges I feel that is well enough. I will have enough in savings and "lego stock" lol to fund his four years at a good state school. I wish I could do more, but you can't win them all. My son has been staying with me fulltime as he feels its awkward at his moms, and he's pretty upset at his mom about the whole thing, but l'm trying to smooth that over best I can considering the circumstances. He's asked to stay here full time which I support and told his mom as much. I told her we could do it through the courts or keep it simple and I think she wants to keep it simple.I haven't thought much about child support, but I don't think asking for a small amount would be bad. I don't want to break my ex, but our kid should come first. Thank you to everyone for their well wishes and thoughts. Best of luck to everyone out there. Again, if you have any questions l'll try my best to answer them. I am not The OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]