Sports Mom Outfit

... magazine.” “Really, you mean like Sports Illustrated or something?” “Hmm, no, ... hot in a sexy nurse’s outfit, with high heels and glossy ...said, entering the kitchen, where Mom was standing with her back ... legs. Reacting to my silence, Mom quietly stood there squinting at ...for their anniversary. I assumed Mom would understand it was all ... if that’s what you’re thinking.” Mom blinked back at me, eerily ...

... of athletics never got beyond sports illustrated and Cosmo! But friends... first pair of stiletto heels. Mom always said her sister was... the shoes with the entire outfit. The next is a close-up...

...from 10 years ago. My mom never raised me to be ... people,” he says. “In sports, sometimes people get so caught ...ownership int erest in Fenway Sports Group, which owns Liverpool, the ...換取了 Fenway Sports Group 更廣泛的...球員。 In a 2014 Sports Illustrated article, James announced that... through.” 在 2014 年《Sports Illustrated》的一篇文... Credits for his product ion outfit, SpringHill Company, include documentaries on ...

...from 10 years ago. My mom never raised me to be ... people,” he says. “In sports, sometimes people get so caught ...ownership int erest in Fenway Sports Group, which owns Liverpool, the ...換取了 Fenway Sports Group 更廣泛的...球員。 In a 2014 Sports Illustrated article, James announced that... through.” 在 2014 年《Sports Illustrated》的一篇文... Credits for his product ion outfit, SpringHill Company, include documentaries on ...

... skirt suit for her practitioner's outfit, which was much easier to...." Tanya was never the biggest sports fan, but she watched politely..., frowning. Tanya shrugs. "Well, most sports intend to re-use the ball... don't really keep up on sports, but we can watch some... what to watch, they like sports…" Richard and Jason had, after... three weeks ago." Cass chuckles. "Mom, stop lying." She said, "You...

... a girl in a greek-looking outfit with bracelets and jewelry across... same. She only said what mom forced out of her." "Amy... apologetically. "Sorry, it's when my mom and the PRT tried to ... pull-ups bar. Wearing just... a sports bra and shorts. Okay... Okay, ...

... and saw how much her mom was pushing her to do... you'll also need a good outfit to fight with as well... a few months...but their mom loved making me pancakes whenever.... Your dad is a famous sports coach after all and donates...

... to his pretty little German sports car. "Never fear." Izuku stared... am here." "Izuku, honey!" His mom called, "Hurry or you'll be... his offer-" Izuku gulped, "Yes mom! Coming!" He ran out of... the bathroom, hugged his mom, and started out the door.... "Be careful!" His mom called, "Look both ways when... was wearing a strangely familiar outfit that was way too big...

... to his pretty little German sports car. "Never fear." Izuku stared... am here." "Izuku, honey!" His mom called, "Hurry or you'll be... his offer-" Izuku gulped, "Yes mom! Coming!" He ran out of... the bathroom, hugged his mom, and started out the door.... "Be careful!" His mom called, "Look both ways when... was wearing a strangely familiar outfit that was way too big...

... dropped off by the latter's mom. Miss Tokage, as Yoko Tokage-san... disembarked from buses, taxis, limousines, sports cars, and so on, then..., the simpler ones. Like my mom, forgive me, Kami-sama. However, in... personal space. Generally, my outfit would be regular sports pants, a sleeveless shirt, and...

... think about if that black sports bra and black collar with... arms. "I picked up this outfit specifically for you~" Her hand ... in the public image, goddammit mom!" The little bloom in my...

... your cheap shampoo everywhere. My mom bought me this special salon ... for someone who never played sports. “Leonie, I swear to God... was a disaster, her designer outfit wrinkled and twisted. She looked...

... support gear, most of which sports the iconic Snow Fox Corporation.... "Interesting. But what of your outfit? If all our outfits are... think of those soap operas mom watches, which is to say.... [2] Claire's Hero outfit is her Demonic Outfit from the gacha game...

... too small even with a sports bra compressing everything a bit... got a description from her mom, probably because my house is... could definitely pull off the outfit~" Okay, the last bit was ...

..., we've seen pictures of Taylor's mom in her house. The girl... run in nothing but a sports bra under her jacket, now. "... guess we can at least outfit the wards with something that'll ...

... smile and amazing skill at sports. Sasha? Forget about it- Sasha... didn't have any powers, her mom hugging her whenever she was... burly looking newt in the outfit of a limestone worker said, ... the bed. "I miss my mom. I miss Mark. I miss ..., instead of her canon Amphibia outfit, I decided to give her ...

... the end of summer with mom and dad. Get Mei out... made him laugh during the Sports Festival." Sir Nighteye was a..., a blue-skinned sidekick with an outfit showing so much midriff that ...

... enjoying Funabashi's food and culture. Sports were no exception. Even though... time?" "Ahh, it is! Dad! Mom! The race is coming up... race last week, dear." Raicho's mom huffed even as she cut... be so polite, Furioso-chan." Raicho's mom had a warm smile on... be a science fiction inspired outfit in black and yellow colors... friend boasts about feeding." Raicho's mom snorted. While Raicho's dad studiously...

... yet, but the culture and sports festivals were imminent, and his... you're just a vapid soccer mom with no ambition," I murmured.... Maybe if you changed your outfit, it might change your mood... in their tracks. The next outfit was a white blouse, a... Shoko had changed into an outfit that resembled the 'Paris fashion...

... yet, but the culture and sports festivals were imminent, and his... you're just a vapid soccer mom with no ambition," I murmured.... Maybe if you changed your outfit, it might change your mood... in their tracks. The next outfit was a white blouse, a... Shoko had changed into an outfit that resembled the 'Paris fashion...

...was tempted to fix my outfit further. I'd opted for a... try and something that Mom would never have wanted to .... And then there was Mom. She sat alone near the ... time Empire 88 kidnapped Mom and took the story all ...phones here were round), and sports (which I only half-listened to ... Herrschers." I turned to Mom. Her eyes were glued to ... pieces clicked into place. Mom had negotiated my guaranteed freedom ...

...was tempted to fix my outfit further. I'd opted for a... try and something that Mom would never have wanted to .... And then there was Mom. She sat alone near the ... time Empire 88 kidnapped Mom and took the story all ...phones here were round), and sports (which I only half-listened to ... Herrschers." I turned to Mom. Her eyes were glued to ... pieces clicked into place. Mom had negotiated my guaranteed freedom ...

... fought Todoroki in the Sports Festival in the original story. ...again. He took out one outfit: a black T-shirt and the ... intention. It's not that Mom wants to stop the bird ... previous incident. How can Mom bear to see you get ... showed. "Yes, I know, Mom… but this stage demands preparation. .... "It's not just reasons, Mom. It's only the details of ...pick up a pair of sports shoes from the rack. After ...

... but smile. Mom stood in the doorway in her usual outfit, over... expensive item felt wasteful, so Mom had found a worthy use ... kid and protector you are!" "Mom, with that specific set of ... what's so bad about that?" Mom slyly adjusted her glasses, a .... You eat like three people!" Mom grabbed the keys and, cheerfully ... forbidden from participating in official sports competitions? Say, the Olympics?" A ...

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) OOP: u/AdventurousBet6537 Published on: r/relationship_advice Story is: ONGOING Story timeline Main Post: May 01, 2026 Update: May 02, 2026 Main Post May 01, 2026 I 23F think i need to move out of the house after Dad 48M requested I pay 1k a month in rent. I just made this today dont want it on my main. I 23F live at home with my Dad, Mom and younger brother and I also work from home. So here is the short version, I work for a pharmaceutical company as a data analyst and hopefully soon to be a data scientist once I finish some certifications, I have worked at this company for 3.5 years, I started as an intern and once I finished my degree I was given a full time position. My parents deal for me to live at home as an adult was to always contribute to the household, so we came up with “what contributions” to make sure there weren’t any discrepancies. Pay the light bill because I am home the most (roughly $200 a month during winter and 350 during summer…Texas) I opted to pay for the water ($150), gas ($50-80), internet ($100) My mother added for me to drive my brother around – at reasonable requests so I usually pick him up after school from practice and he plays like a million sports and is in a trillion clubs, this is until he can get a car. I also drive him to places if I can. I pay for my own cell phone, car insurance and subscriptions. I still have chores, cooking, cleaning, etc. so does my brother. Well, my dad came to me last week and asked that I start paying $500 a month (cheap yes I know) because he desnt think I contribute enough to the house. This rubbed me the wrong way because I feel that I do, I know $500 is cheap and I wont get anything cheaper out there but that will mean I will be paying 1k a month to live at home. So I said if I am going to start giving cash for living at home then I am a tenant not a family member contributing to the house. If I am going to pay rent then I want a lease, I want to be able to come and go as I please, I don’t want to pay the monthly bills because then it should be covered in my rent and the obligation of driving my brother around should also go out the window (he is my brother and I will always accommodate him because we get a long but not the point). He got upset and said I want being petty and not thinking clearly and if I leave I will not be allowed back when I realize the real world is harder than 500 a month and when I fall on my ass, he will not help me. I looked around and I can get a studio apartment or a 1 bedroom for $1200, and I get my own space and privacy and more than likely not spend too much more money. I would save on the utilities alone so it wouldn’t be that much more expensive, and I can get my desk out of my room. He has been ignoring me for the past week until today. My mom asked for me to take the day off to discuss this and didn’t want my brother home because she didn’t want him to see us arguing, which is weird because why would we be arguing and not discussing?! My mom tried to negotiate, that I don’t pay utilities and my rent is $750 a month but I still had to do chores and keep the same routine with my brother. Also, the house rule would be no noise or company past 9 pm Sunday through Thursday and midnight on Friday and Saturday unless requested a head of time and absolutely no men can spend the night or be in my room (weird because this was never an issue). My dad stayed quiet the entire time, but I could tell that he was bothered, I said that wouldn’t work because I spent money on gas to drive my bro everywhere and I don’t want it to be a rule of tenancy to be my brother’s chauffeur. That’s when my dad blew up and called me selfish and he is just trying to teach me responsibility, accountability and that me harping over giving them money just shows that I am not part of the family and want to be an outsider because I should want to help. I argued that me paying over 500 a month in bills, gas driving around my brother, and chores should be enough to show how unselfish I am, but if its necessary for him to receive payment from me then I will pay the $500 and none of the bills and I will gladly drive my brother around. My mom argued that 750 was reasonable, and I said no its not if you still want me to live here like a teenager, dad said 500 so that 500 should cover everything. My dad stormed off and my mother said I am treating this like a business negotiation and that she is disappointed in me because my dad only said 500 because I was paying other bills and only wanting to pay 500 all included is a low blow, and renting is a waste of money and they would feel better if I moved out to a purchased home. Like what?! I am not ready for that level of commitment. It’s not the money but that is a major purchase and now I feel like the trust I had with them is fractured. Before anyone asks idk if they are in financial distress, my mom is an MRI tech, and my dad is a pipe fitter. Also, if my parents where in financial distress I would help them 100%, I went to school here in the city, I have been saving 60% of my salary for the past 3.5 years and the other 40% was to my car that I paid off and my student loans (which I only have 25k left). TLDR- dad wants me to pay 1k a month and keep responsibilities, it feels like its too much and I should move out. Torn if I am making a big deal of the $750 vs $500 and if this is a hill I want to die on.   COMMENTS Valthar70 I dont know where you live but just be sure to get the deets on what else would be required for that $1200/mo 1br apartment. Normally that doesn't include utilities, or not all of them, nor does it usually include internet. Or laundry. Do you have furniture? Pots, pans, plates, utensils, toiletries, tables, bedroom set, dining stuff? Ability to also buy groceries? Not as easy as you think to outfit an entire apartment and live there and think... It's just $1200 OOP Well I do have savings, I know its going to be more expensive but it wont be large enough to make me change my mind. Alone my light bill will be roughly 75-150 depending on the apartment, gas $40, groceries for myself I pay about 150 a week because I meal prep, internet 50 dollars, water/sewage depending on the apartment. I have enough saved to fully furnish an apartment, will it suck yes but I have the money to do it and I know its more than 1k a month that they are offering. CaityR1986 I would just cut the cord and move out. It will cost a bit more than what your parents want Joh to pay then but the freedom from their rules and having to be your brother’s driver is worth every penny extra than you will be paying. It might even cut closer to even when you factor in all the gas savings you will have not having to drive your brother everywhere OOP omg this week alone I drove him around over 500 miles, I know this because I had to fill up my gas tank twice this week. School x 2, taekwondo 3x a week, swimming, then the basketball games, football games, now he wants to do swimming in the summer and work as a life guard, on top of that he takes music lessons 2x a week. his weekly in person DND night, taking him to the stores, dropping him off at the movies, mall, whatever. I love the kid but I cant wait until he gets his own license. From 4-7 its just me driving him around at least 3-4x a week. InsertCleverName652 500 miles??? That's insane. OOP It probably wasnt 500 miles but I did have to fill up my tank twice this week. I have a mazda 3 so the stopping and going the mileage is less. Our neighborhood was rezoned, so my brothers school which used to be half a mile away is now 2 miles away, and his taekwondo is a mile from our house so just on that day its 4 miles to drop and pick up and 6 miles for the extras. I would have to look at all the other stuff he has but it was 40-50 bucks to fill up. I just remember thinking damn thats a lot lol. MermaidxGlitz are you not allowed to come and go as you please now? I’d move out simply for the freedom OOP I leave as I please but its a full lecture when I return, god forbid I have brunch with the girls, or come home past midnight. I didnt mind at first because its their house their rules but now it feels more confined with their requests Unleashd99 $1k a month is not terrible amount of money but you make a very valid point. For just a few dollars more you get your independence. Which at 23 makes a ton of sense. Maybe instead of focusing on the details of what they are asking from you, you could ask your father, “Why now? What happened that made you suddenly think I needed to pay an extra $500 more?” That question might help you both to be less defensive about the specific details of the topic and find a more fruitful answer. Because you are right to request more independence as a woman at 23. And maybe he has a good reason for what he is suddenly demanding too and we just haven’t heard it yet. Or maybe he just really wants you out of the house. You won’t know unless you ask. It seems unlikely that it could make things worse by asking. OOP I tried asking and he wont answer, he is pretty stubborn and when he thinks he is being challenged or undermined he shuts down and gives you the cold shoulder and my mom has to mediate. I heard them on the phone talking about me because he went for a drive and he said I was stubborn. Maybe I am stubborn, maybe if they would have had a talk with me about it I wouldnt be so defensive. But he is a blue collar man and he speaks like he is barking orders and once you say no or dont agree with the tone he will double down and it becomes a screaming match. OOP to a long thread No men have ever stepped in my room, now what I do outside of my house is my business thats the unspoken rule. Honestly 750 isnt horrible, but when he started it as a demand and said I didnt do enough without explanation and me not backing down it escalated. My parents are not rich they ok. My dad is 49 and my mom is 48 and my brother is 15 about to be 16. Electrical_Ad_947 (downvoted) Who paid for you to go to university? OOP scholarships, loans and working through school. They would help if I was in need for like gas, food, and the occasional books or extras. Scholarships paid 70% of school. Update - next day May 02, 2026 Update: My parents are just ridiculous and I am going to look for apartments this weekend So its 545 right now and my Dad is getting the full exposure of driving around my brother and my Mom and I had a conversation as to what happened which solidified that living here will just end up to us having a horrible relationship. My dad as previously mentioned is a pipe fitter in the union, sometimes he has to travel for work but not all the time and he works long hours so he doesn’t see everything that happens. Now to the update. 3 years ago when I went from intern to full time I was making 62k a year as entry level and that was generous because they already knew my work. Well last year a position opened up and I was offered the position now making 82k a year and quarterly bonuses up to 10%, I have never received the full 10% because I didn’t see the value of working 60 hours for an extra paycheck a month. Last week my dad was home more than usual and just saw me holed up in my room “doing nothing just staring at a computer and watching netflix” well I had a grey’s anatomy running in the background but I always shut it off when I am in meetings and its just comforting to hear other voices in the house when you are alone all the time. When I left for my brother my dad walked in my room and saw my W2 and that my gross last year was 78k (promotion money included) and he asked my mom how much am I contributing to the house and she said well she doesn’t give any money. Well that was enough for him to say I wasn’t contributing, no follow up questions. He also forgot that I was paying the utilities – why? Because my mom handles all the bills. When he told me I had to pay because I am not contributing enough he thought I was just picking up my brother, doing chores and cooking twice a week for dinner. So when I pushed back saying I pay bills, pick up my brother, drive him around 3-4x a week between 4-7, give him money when he is short for food and take him out to eat during the outings, plus everything else, he got flustered and thought I was exaggerating and doubled down. The silent treatment for the whole week he was asking my mom and brother to “validate” and when they did he got even more mad that he didn’t know all this because its obviously my fault for not ANNOUCING it to the world. During the 1st conversation of the 750 and driving my brother around was my mom being selfish because she knew it would fall on her and teaching him to drive! But I explained he knows how to drive, he went to driving school and has a learners permit so when he is with me I do let him drive to get comfortable. She didn’t realize that he completed his courses which again is weird to me because SHE literally signed him up! Even with all this my dad biggest issue is that I no longer need them which is not true, you always need your parents. But after this back and forth and reading a lot of the comments, and me saying my dad has quirks or shuts down I just come to realize he and I trigger each other so much. He and I will get into a screaming match because he refuses to admit he is wrong and I refuse to let him walk all over me, but I know how to apologize as well HE DOESN’T, he will just pretend like it didn’t happen. This is just not going to work out. She finally agreed to it and will speak to my dad because it will just continue to escalate. I did offer for them to come and walk some apartments with me so they feel involved and my mom said yes but she will see what my dad will say because he doesn’t want me to move out and is really upset that I wont back down from that. But I honestly don’t see us coming back from what happened this past week and today, I know it will just escalate – I haven’t even addressed why he was in my room and looking through my stuff to see my W2’s. Right now my dad is getting frustrated driving around to just wait on my brother and then drive again in high traffic times, which has been my life for 3 years. The only difference is that when I took that role/responsibility my brother was only 13 years old so he didn’t have a lot of extra circulars. My mom knew but she was happy with the arrangement because she didn’t have to deal with it. She also apologized for her role in saying that I am trying to negotiate because she understands that I do a lot for my brother and that will fall on them at least until he gets his license. Once I move out depending on where I move I wouldn’t mind helping out and driving him around maybe once or twice a week because I do enjoy spending time with him and so do my friends. Once a week after once of his extras we go to Chili’s and eat and hang out with my friends and I know I would miss him too much if I just stop being around him. There are so many times we just sit in the car eat and laugh or gossip. But hopefully we find something this weekend and I can move within the next month. Hopefully my dad and I will be on speaking terms by the time I move out. I am going to step away and go get dinner with my friends and just get it off my mind.   COMMENTS OOP to a long thread ugh yes we are Mexican American. My mom's family is from Texas before it was Texas and my dad is 1st generation. Informal_Meeting_577 Serious question, if you've been living at home, and getting paid 60k then 85k, why not just buy a home? Should you not have significant savings at this point? OOP There are few reasons not to buy a house right now. Yes I have savings but the savings will be a full down payment and leave me with little money to cover 6 months. I bought a car because I needed that and paying my student loans so this past year it has been saving and student loans. In houston if I want to buy a decent home in a decent area the avg is 300k plus unless I look at town homes etc. I did look once I received a pay increase to see what I would need and it would be somewhere between 55k-65k for 20% down because I dont want PMI.   This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading. Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved. submitted by /u/BigONerd to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

So yehh, I’ve had a sports injury that led to me gaining some weight and loss of muscle. This has been a major insecurity of me and currently only wearing baggy clothes. So today I went to a baby shower wearing an all white suit somewhat form fitting. I went with my MIL to pick up my fiancé his grandma and her two sisters (90y +) that I’ve met once. So when the one sister came to sit down in the backseat with me she said ‘you are a lot fatter than I thought.’ Where the grandma of my fiance said: ‘you can’t say that’ the mean aunt then proceeded to double down and said no look at those legs they are huge.’ Then doubled doubled down by touching my leg and compare it to a tree log. I took it in silence as we drove to the venue. On site I ran to the bathroom had an panic attack bc I was to scared to leave the bathroom stall as I felt so fat and ugly that I missed the mom to be’s entrance and then I was to self conscious to enter the room. Went back to the bathroom only to find out I started my period while trying for a baby - remember the color of my outfit ? Yehhh al white and no pads/tampons. Went a head to cancel our trip to Marbella next week because I don’t want to be in a bikini. Got home after 7hours. Put on a baggy fit only to realize I forgot to do groceries. So sad girl dinner of an tangerine and a multivitamin gummy Edit: Added a picture of the fit of today because I really loved the suit before the car ride. Edit 2: I just really really love the love woman can give other woman and I’m so sad a lot of us are so hard on ourselves 🧚🏽‍♀️♥️ thank you all for the kind words and confidence boost to help me eat again! submitted by /u/Peachandbooze to r/GirlDinnerDiaries [link] [comments]

I am not OOP. The OOP for this post is u/throwraowlcheesecake. His posts were made to r/OpenChristian Important Context: Larry Nassar was a Team USA Women's National Gymnastics Team doctor from 1996-2014, where he used his position to exploit and sexually assault hundreds of young athletes as part of the largest sexual abuse scandal in sports history. Nassar was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting at least 265 young women and girls over a 22-year period under the guise of medical treatment. His victims included numerous Olympic gymnasts, with some as young as six-years-old. OOP also added that the church his parents attended was a Non-Denominational church Trigger Warning: pedophilia, victim blaming minors, accusations/gossip of child pornography Mood Spoiler: unfortunate Original Post: (February 11th, 2026) I haven't lived with my parents since starting college, and I currently live by myself while working two jobs. I live a little over an hour away, but I come home for the holidays and other occasions, along with the Super Bowl this past Sunday. My parents are very religious, and I have a younger brother who's twelve. I always sleep over whenever I visit, and the only rule is that I must attend church (if staying on a Sunday) because mom doesn't want anyone home when they're not there, and that extended to friends and family since I was young. I was surprised when it extended to me since I grew up in their home, but I'm glad to no longer be forced to attend church every week. My dad always held a Super Bowl party since I was young, and I came up on Saturday to help set up as usual. This situation happened as a result of attending church on Super Bowl Sunday Despite our pastor taking a moment to give his thoughts on the big game before the sermon, the situation came from something else he vented about, and that was the Winter Olympics. Ironically, it wasn't about any of the athletes who made political statements (which was surprising given his history with sharing political opinions). It was about something he and his wife discussed and felt led to share. Long story short, they advised their kids to change the channel if figure skating came on any of the broadcasts, and their reasons were harmful in my opinion. He said that some of the female outfits were "revealing" and not good to watch because it can lead to lust. He also went on about how "the world" finds ways to "normalize telling girls to dress inappropriately". He even said the Summer Olympics did the same thing with the uniforms that the female gymnasts wore... going as far as to call it "normalized p*rn" because their parents would "never allow them to wear a skirt that shows as much" as the uniform outside of the sport setting He also said the uniforms "allowed creeps to watch with lustful intentions and not be questioned" because it was normalized, and he didn't like that possibility when one of his kids used to do gymnastics. He did, however, mention a rule change in recent years that allowed girls to wear shorts over their uniforms during competitions; something he supported and would've required his daughter to wear full-time if she still played. He also said it was unfortunate that the rule change and the female German Olympic team's full-body gymnastics uniforms happened after Larry Nassar's case because "no one wanted to point out the inappropriate uniforms" that he was "forced to be around" because there was an "agenda" to punish him. He also said that many girls were "playing the victim" because society "allowed them to". He even said Nassar "maybe wouldn't have done what he did" if not for the uniforms he was forced to be around, and I personally thought that that shifted blame onto the uniforms instead of his actions. His overarching point, aside from advising parents to consider turning the channel, was to be aware of how the world tries to push their kids to dress inappropriately by normalizing figure skating and gymnastics attire, and I disagreed with much of his message My parents and I discussed it on the drive home, and I mentioned how I thought it was harmful to send that message. My parents disagreed from a purity perspective because they taught purity to us when we turned twelve. I think it's harmful because purity should be a personal choice instead of something instilled by your parents when you're just hitting puberty. I also disagree with how the pastor sexualized both sports and absolved Nassar by blaming the outfits, but they didn't have an issue with it. Heck, a few of the pastor's points received applause (including from my parents), and the whole thing ruined my mood. My mom also plans to inform one of our cousins' parents (whose daughter does gymnastics) about the rule change in case she doesn't know. And while that's fine on its own, I disagree with her motives behind it The message shouldn't be that girls are responsible for the actions of those who sexualize them. They should wear shorts because they want to, not because they think they're doing something wrong by wearing appropriate clothing for the sport. I also felt the pastor was telling on himself and projecting onto the congregation, but my parents didn't see it that way. I helped them clean up for their guests when we returned, but left before the game as some guests began to filter in. My parents were disappointed and said it would've been better if I hadn't come at all, even though I'd helped set up. I'm more concerned with the message they told my brother and how Mom plans to relay it to my cousin. Needless to say, I'll never attend that church again, and I only did whenever I visited, like once a year. Does anyone have any experience with correcting a message from a parent that might be harmful to a younger sibling? First Update: (February 13th, 2026) My father called me for the first time since we spoke on Sunday at their home, and he had the same tone as his text. He said it was disrespectful of me to leave early when they let me sleep over despite helping them set up. He also said he didn't appreciate having to tell guests why I left early, and he said he made up some excuse. I reiterated my disgust for the sermon and how they supported it. And in hindsight, I should've walked out and waited in the foyer. Granted, I couldn’t drive home because we carpooled, but I'm disappointed that I didn't. However, since the church encourages viewers to share their videos in the descriptions of their YouTube sermons and on social media, I decided to vent my frustration that way using malicious compliance. I left a review of the church that explained why I'll never attend again. I also mentioned how the pastor defended Larry Nassar and left a link to the sermon, along with a timestamp to when his rant began. The link will prove the truth of my review. And if they delete the video, it'll only make it louder (when the link leads to a page that says 'deleted video'). I also made an Instagram story about my disgust for the sermon and left a link to the YouTube sermon there too, and many of my friends have also told me their similar disgust I've lost almost all of my respect for my parents, but that's nothing new unfortunately. I was debating cutting them off when I was in high school, but figured that going to college would provide space that'd help prevent that. I was wrong, but I shouldn't have been surprised. Them finding no issue with the pastor's rant is par for the course of how they still support a certain someone with strong ties to a certain list, and much of my teen years were annoying because of their obsession with that figure. They also loved it when our pastor got political in the past, and that's not what church should be. I return for one sermon simply because of my parents' home rule, and he spins the Winter Olympics into a rant defending Larry Nassar. It's always some new demographic every week with these people, and Sunday was a reminder of why I don't miss church As a result of me not apologizing, Dad said I'm not allowed to come to next year's party, and that's totally fine with me. The other unfortunate part is that Mom talked to my cousin's mom about the sermon, and she agreed with much of it and said her daughter would be required to wear shorts over her uniform going forward because she was unaware that she could. Again, nothing wrong with deciding to wear them. But the message shouldn't be that women are responsible for creeps like my pastor who admitted to being unable to appreciate a sport because his mind is fixated on sex. I don't get why certain Christians like my parents are hyperfixated on it like with purity. My cousin's parents are also Christians, and they agreed with turning the channel from figure skating too. They'll probably do the same with gymnastics in two years, and my church (along with others I've researched) have had females wear t-shirts over their bathing suits at church gatherings with a pool, and I've attended parties with that rule since I was little. That doesn’t stop them from going to the beach where others aren't wearing t-shirts over their bathing suits, but you could go down the hypocrisy rabbit hole forever, and I'm ready to go low-contact. I won't be attending Christmas or Thanksgiving or any other gatherings they have. Granted, it sucks for my younger brother, but I need to worry about my own mental health first Second Update: (March 4th, 2026) For a second time (on 2/22), the pastor broached the topic of the winter olympics, and I learned this from my younger brother. We finally had a chance to talk over the phone, and I explained why I thought the sermon was harmful. He said he already knew and that I didn’t have to tell him because he knew how our parents were. He's a smart kid, and he said the pastor ranted about the olympics again before starting his sermon, and I decided to watch the rant for myself on the church's Youtube The topic of his rant was the figure skating gala that occurred towards the end of the olympics (on 2/21), and he called the event inappropriate. He said it was worse than the regular competition because there were less rules which made it more "unhinged", and he didn't like the non-competitive costumes. He said it was inappropriate for kids to watch, and he specifically pointed out Alysa Liu's routine as a "bad example" for kids. Two Sundays before, the same pastor told the congregation to turn the channel from figure skating, but now admits to watching the "inappropriate" gala. I couldn't resist calling my parents to see what they'd think of the hypocrisy, but dad had an answer like he always does He said that the pastor had an obligation to inform "the flock" about certain things for their wellbeing, and he compared it to how parents sometimes watch a movie before showing their kids to make sure it's appropriate. In my opinion, one of two things happened. The pastor felt guilty about getting a hard-on while watching figure skating and came up with a narrative to remove the onus from himself, blaming "the world" by taking a stand that makes him look righteous by projecting onto the congregation. Or the pastor's wife somehow caught him with it or didn't like him watching, and the pastor changed the narrative all the same. He's telling on himself, but he's decent enough at spin The most disturbing part was when the pastor said that the parents of the victims should've been tried along with Nasser for "allowing their kids to wear the uniforms", and that somehow gained applause too. It really feels like a microcosm of the political sphere. The pastor can say whatever he wants (outside of sympathy for the other side of the aisle), and the congregation will eat it up. And just like a certain someone in the news every day, I feel like certain pastors are also seen as unquestionable figures whom the congregation will back. Dad also said that I "don't understand the concept of how an argument works" because I told him that I didn’t wanna see him for a while after this. But when I asked him to explain what he meant, he said arguments happen because people "have a dog in the fight" like disagreeing over a boyfriend or something directly involving them. But since no one in our family has ever done gymnastics, he doesn't get why I'm upset and said it's a front for something else I'm not saying I actually gave my dad one condition under which I'd apologize and admit fault, and that was if he'd agree to tell someone who doesn't attend their church (can even be a Christian relative from another church) what the pastor said about those sports, but phrases it as his opinion too. But when he said there'd be no reason to, I questioned why not if he supposedly supports what the pastor said. Is he being ashamed of the gospel, or does he know deep down that that'll draw him some weird looks? It's telling that the pastor randomly brings up Larry Nassar when his trial was in 2017 Something caused him to randomly bring it up, but no one wants to admit that. And it's not like Larry Nassar is a politician who people can trick themselves into thinking will benefit them (like they excuse the President for knowing Mr. List because they think he's better for the economy or other things). Larry doesn't benefit them in any way other than justifying whatever guilt they have inside that makes them feel relatable to him on some level, and the pastor provided a blueprint on how to project and rationalize guilt in a way that'll garner support from the church. So to answer dad's question, I don't need to have personal experience in gymnastics to be disgusted with him defending Larry Nassar, and we won't be talking for a long time as a result New Update: (April 3rd, 2026) While I'm not surprised that dad didn’t take well to me distancing myself, I didn't expect him to air our dirty laundry to relatives. But, he did. I was ignoring many of his texts that were rather degrading, and he refuses to believe I'm actually upset over what the pastor said. He's convinced it's a front for something else because, to him, I have no reason to be offended by Nasser since I never did gymnastics or knew anyone who did. He kept trying to pry "the real reason" why I was upset despite me telling him numerous times. However, since I refused to change my stance, he aired our conversation to some relatives, and it's resulted in messages and calls that I didn’t expect Long story short, dad told some relatives that I was offended not because of what the pastor said, but because I felt "convicted" for having questionable content on my devices. He's gaslighting me because he refuses to accept my stance, so now he's accusing me of it. I had to explain the whole story to numerous relatives, but not all of them believed me and felt that I was disrespecting my parents. I ended up making a Facebook post because I was tired of explaining myself. I told the whole story and even included links to the pastor's sermons with timestamps to his rant, but I even received negative comments from relatives who are also Christians and also took their side I've since tried to call my parents, but neither of them have answered. Granted, I was able to talk to a few understanding relatives, but this thing has now blown up when it should've remained a personal matter. I'm done trying to call them after I initially did when they started spreading rumors, but this whole thing has made me realize just how people came to excuse Mr. List. The pastor, like the president, has immunity to say anything including defending Larry Nasser, and the congregation will take his word is gospel. And when you have unquestionable figures like that, it makes their transgressions easier to ignore. I can't believe that disagreeing with someone who defends Larry Nasser is a controversal take. But to my parents and other right-wing relatives (who reached out on their behalf), I'm the crazy one who will now be blocking a whole lot more people than just my parents. If dad really believed I had questionable material, he'd answer my calls or make some of report instead of gossiping as if it were high school. The fact that he's chosen the latter with so many makes me believe it's all for attention. He knows it's BS, but he wants the support of his relatives on his side. I'll also look into legal advice as a friend suggested in case he continues to get out of hand submitted by /u/MadisonBrave to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I’m reading Gabriella’s book "Pour ne pas disparaitre" and wrote about the first half of it here. The rest talks about her struggles with bad mental health and how the breakup of the Papadakis/Cizeron ice dance couple came to be. -Before I read the book, I read comments saying that Cizeron isn’t portrayed as badly as it’s rumored, but... he actually comes off worse than I expected. I was under the impression that Gabriella and Guillaume were friends and had a conflict towards the end, but she makes it clear that they were only friends when they were young children. The relationship became strained early on because Guillaume and Gabriella’s mother (who coached them both) had volatile tempers that she felt she had to pacify. She describes constantly trying to placate their rages, & her mother and Guillaume only got along when they were uniting against her. -Later on as teens, Gabriella says she was bullied by Guillaume or at best ignored. Even as an adult, she had to put up with mockery and be a “good sport”; it seems the coaches also sometimes joined in. (E.g. After she accepted to pay for an expensive hair and makeup class recommended by Guillaume and IAM, and she spent hours one morning applying what she had learned, when she showed up to practice the coaches laughed at her and said “I hope you’ll put in more effort for the actual competition!”). -Eventually Guillaume and her only spoke to each other when around other people, and had no personal relationship anymore. She admits though that she was very driven to win, and that she saw skating with Guillaume as the only way to achieve her goals, which is why she moved with him first to Lyon and later to IAM. -Gabriella started having mental health struggles after a medical abortion at Worlds 2019 (literally, she miscarried on the ice). She clarifies she didn’t regret the abortion, but it made her realise she had been treating her own body in a violent way, which triggered memories of sexual assault trauma, and it was also worsened by the state of tension and walking on eggshells around Guillaume. She suffered from depression, dissociation and memory gaps, seizures and other scary symptoms. She says Guillaume and IAM tried to be supportive, but they also put more pressure by asking her to put a definite timeline on her recovery. She sought psychological counselling outside of IAM, and she says the counsellors tried to make her see that there was a connection between her mental state and skating with Guillaume, but initially she was not ready to have this realization. It became unsustainable to continue avoiding it, though. When she had had a previous mental health episode as a teen, Gabriella and her mom ignored medical advice that she needed to skate less and that her skating environment was bad for her, and continued as if nothing had happened (and I'm putting blame for this on the mom as Gabriella was a minor). Now, however, her skating career was being affected, since she was sometimes physically unable to even go out of her house to go to practice. -The in-house mental coach of IAM “Cheryl” continues to be a prominent figure, and tried to convince Gabriella that Guillaume loves her and wants the best for her. Gabriella understood that everything she talked about to Cheryl or Patrice was immediately relayed back to Guillaume. After having a panic attack in Guillaume’s presence, Gabriella was referred to a “doctor friend” of Cheryl’s, who prescribed medication; however, when she was told the medicine would make her “just as she was before”. Gabriella realized she didn’t want to be exactly as before, that things needed to change. -Gabriella started having small rebellions: refusing to wear an improvised skirt on one occasion when their outfits weren’t ready for practice (why can’t women practice in leggings like the men?), showing up without makeup sometimes. She also pitched ideas, such as both skaters wearing tuxedos for their Elegie Olympic free skate (but such ideas were always shot down). She found joy in boxing practice with her IAM personal trainer, but when Guillaume found out, he forbade it because he thought it could cause injury; her trainer told her he couldn’t teach her boxing anymore. As time went on and Gabriella became more immersed in feminist theory and hanging out with feminist and queer communities she became less accepting of what Guillaume/IAM expected of her. -She also stopped doing so much work to make the skating seamless; she says she always had to put in more effort because Guillaume would change choreography during performances without warning her and she had to keep up and make it look intentional. When she stopped doing this and restricted herself to just 50% of the effort in the partnership, people started saying they were losing their “special connection”. -Gabriella was extremely upset when she read the accusations against Sorensen (he is not named in the book, but it’s clear who she’s talking about). She felt a lot of anger about the unaccountability of abusers, while victims have to go on with their lives suffering trauma. She says she had to avoid Sorensen out of fear she’d end up bashing him in the head with her skates. She asked to never be scheduled for IAM practice at the same time as Sorensen; Guillaume was very angry when he found out. -Eventually, Gabriella and Guillaume even went to therapy together to attempt to salvage their relationship, but Gabriella still felt she wasn’t being listened to. Guillaume initially denied ignoring or mocking Gabriella, then admitted to it but said Gabriella deserved it because her ideas were bad and she had a huge ego. Gabriella felt she was being made to look hysterical and unreasonable in front of the therapist. -Towards the end of their working relationship, post Beijing, it sounds like things were really bad, potentially unsafe. Gabriella says Guillaume almost let her fall during a choreographic move in a show and she couldn’t trust him anymore. Ultimately though, the decision to end the partnership came from Guillaume, after Gabriella took too much to respond regarding an ultimatum to continue the partnership with things just as they were (and Gabriella returning to her earlier, more pliant behaviour). -Gabriella was shocked at how quickly IAM, her coaches of so many years, cut her out and distanced themselves from her. She was also shocked by the announcement of Guillaume continuing his career with Fournier-Beaudry, although she admits she had left some messages from him unread because she was so upset by the split. Gabriella felt that her career was now being ended and she felt at a loss on how she was going to make a living going forward. She tries to end on a hopeful note though, thanking her friends and her community who have been a positive influence on her life. That’s it, I’ve now finished the book! Before the usual Cizeron defenders jump in, I am aware this is just Gabriella’s perspective, that’s how memoirs work! It’s also just my understanding of what I’ve read. Happy to discuss with other readers as before. It was a very interesting read and also fairly well written, I would recommend it. submitted by /u/Euphoric_Gene_2103 to r/FigureSkating [link] [comments]

I am not OOP. The OOP for this post is u/throwraowlcheesecake. His posts were made to r/OpenChristian Important Context: The Winter Olympics figure skating gala is a prestigious, non-competitive showcase held on the second-to-last day of the olympics. It is a celebration of artistry where top skaters, including medalists and fan favorites, perform routines free from the pressure of judging, technical requirements, or scoring. Unlike the competitive events, there are few restrictions, full creative freedom is encouraged, and skaters can bring props – or friends – along for the ride. Gala routines are designed to entertain rather than meet technical requirements. This includes performances featuring comedy, artistic expression, or synchronized stunts. Skaters choose their own music—ranging from classical to pop—and can use innovative costumes, props, or even debut new, experimental programs Larry Nassar was a Team USA Women's National Gymnastics Team doctor from 1996-2014, where he used his position to exploit and sexually assault hundreds of young athletes as part of the largest sexual abuse scandal in sports history. Nassar was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting at least 265 young women and girls over a 22-year period under the guise of medical treatment. His victims included numerous Olympic gymnasts, with some as young as six-years-old. OOP also added that the church his parents attended was a Non-Denominational church This is the routine that the pastor referenced from the most recent update: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no4TgCzsH8c Trigger Warning: pedophilia, victim blaming minors Mood Spoiler: unfortunate, but hopeful for the OOP's future Original Post: (February 11th, 2026) I haven't lived with my parents since starting college, and I currently live by myself while working two jobs. I live a little over an hour away, but I come home for the holidays and other occasions, along with the Super Bowl this past Sunday. My parents are very religious, and I have a younger brother who's twelve. I always sleep over whenever I visit, and the only rule is that I must attend church (if staying on a Sunday) because mom doesn't want anyone home when they're not there, and that extended to friends and family since I was young. I was surprised when it extended to me since I grew up in their home, but I'm glad to no longer be forced to attend church every week. My dad always held a Super Bowl party since I was young, and I came up on Saturday to help set up as usual. This situation happened as a result of attending church on Super Bowl Sunday Despite our pastor taking a moment to give his thoughts on the big game before the sermon, the situation came from something else he vented about, and that was the Winter Olympics. Ironically, it wasn't about any of the athletes who made political statements (which was surprising given his history with sharing political opinions). It was about something he and his wife discussed and felt led to share. Long story short, they advised their kids to change the channel if figure skating came on any of the broadcasts, and their reasons were harmful in my opinion. He said that some of the female outfits were "revealing" and not good to watch because it can lead to lust. He also went on about how "the world" finds ways to "normalize telling girls to dress inappropriately". He even said the Summer Olympics did the same thing with the uniforms that the female gymnasts wore... going as far as to call it "normalized p*rn" because their parents would "never allow them to wear a skirt that shows as much" as the uniform outside of the sport setting He also said the uniforms "allowed creeps to watch with lustful intentions and not be questioned" because it was normalized, and he didn't like that possibility when one of his kids used to do gymnastics. He did, however, mention a rule change in recent years that allowed girls to wear shorts over their uniforms during competitions; something he supported and would've required his daughter to wear full-time if she still played. He also said it was unfortunate that the rule change and the female German Olympic team's full-body gymnastics uniforms happened after Larry Nassar's case because "no one wanted to point out the inappropriate uniforms" that he was "forced to be around" because there was an "agenda" to punish him. He also said that many girls were "playing the victim" because society "allowed them to". He even said Nassar "maybe wouldn't have done what he did" if not for the uniforms he was forced to be around, and I personally thought that that shifted blame onto the uniforms instead of his actions. His overarching point, aside from advising parents to consider turning the channel, was to be aware of how the world tries to push their kids to dress inappropriately by normalizing figure skating and gymnastics attire, and I disagreed with much of his message My parents and I discussed it on the drive home, and I mentioned how I thought it was harmful to send that message. My parents disagreed from a purity perspective because they taught purity to us when we turned twelve. I think it's harmful because purity should be a personal choice instead of something instilled by your parents when you're just hitting puberty. I also disagree with how the pastor sexualized both sports and absolved Nassar by blaming the outfits, but they didn't have an issue with it. Heck, a few of the pastor's points received applause (including from my parents), and the whole thing ruined my mood. My mom also plans to inform one of our cousins' parents (whose daughter does gymnastics) about the rule change in case she doesn't know. And while that's fine on its own, I disagree with her motives behind it The message shouldn't be that girls are responsible for the actions of those who sexualize them. They should wear shorts because they want to, not because they think they're doing something wrong by wearing appropriate clothing for the sport. I also felt the pastor was telling on himself and projecting onto the congregation, but my parents didn't see it that way. I helped them clean up for their guests when we returned, but left before the game as some guests began to filter in. My parents were disappointed and said it would've been better if I hadn't come at all, even though I'd helped set up. I'm more concerned with the message they told my brother and how Mom plans to relay it to my cousin. Needless to say, I'll never attend that church again, and I only did whenever I visited, like once a year. Does anyone have any experience with correcting a message from a parent that might be harmful to a younger sibling? First Update: (February 13th, 2026) My father called me for the first time since we spoke on Sunday at their home, and he had the same tone as his text. He said it was disrespectful of me to leave early when they let me sleep over despite helping them set up. He also said he didn't appreciate having to tell guests why I left early, and he said he made up some excuse. I reiterated my disgust for the sermon and how they supported it. And in hindsight, I should've walked out and waited in the foyer. Granted, I couldn’t drive home because we carpooled, but I'm disappointed that I didn't. However, since the church encourages viewers to share their videos in the descriptions of their YouTube sermons and on social media, I decided to vent my frustration that way using malicious compliance. I left a review of the church that explained why I'll never attend again. I also mentioned how the pastor defended Larry Nassar and left a link to the sermon, along with a timestamp to when his rant began. The link will prove the truth of my review. And if they delete the video, it'll only make it louder (when the link leads to a page that says 'deleted video'). I also made an Instagram story about my disgust for the sermon and left a link to the YouTube sermon there too, and many of my friends have also told me their similar disgust I've lost almost all of my respect for my parents, but that's nothing new unfortunately. I was debating cutting them off when I was in high school, but figured that going to college would provide space that'd help prevent that. I was wrong, but I shouldn't have been surprised. Them finding no issue with the pastor's rant is par for the course of how they still support a certain someone with strong ties to a certain list, and much of my teen years were annoying because of their obsession with that figure. They also loved it when our pastor got political in the past, and that's not what church should be. I return for one sermon simply because of my parents' home rule, and he spins the Winter Olympics into a rant defending Larry Nassar. It's always some new demographic every week with these people, and Sunday was a reminder of why I don't miss church As a result of me not apologizing, Dad said I'm not allowed to come to next year's party, and that's totally fine with me. The other unfortunate part is that Mom talked to my cousin's mom about the sermon, and she agreed with much of it and said her daughter would be required to wear shorts over her uniform going forward because she was unaware that she could. Again, nothing wrong with deciding to wear them. But the message shouldn't be that women are responsible for creeps like my pastor who admitted to being unable to appreciate a sport because his mind is fixated on sex. I don't get why certain Christians like my parents are hyperfixated on it like with purity. My cousin's parents are also Christians, and they agreed with turning the channel from figure skating too. They'll probably do the same with gymnastics in two years, and my church (along with others I've researched) have had females wear t-shirts over their bathing suits at church gatherings with a pool, and I've attended parties with that rule since I was little. That doesn’t stop them from going to the beach where others aren't wearing t-shirts over their bathing suits, but you could go down the hypocrisy rabbit hole forever, and I'm ready to go low-contact. I won't be attending Christmas or Thanksgiving or any other gatherings they have. Granted, it sucks for my younger brother, but I need to worry about my own mental health first New Update: (March 4th, 2026) For a second time (on 2/22), the pastor broached the topic of the winter olympics, and I learned this from my younger brother. We finally had a chance to talk over the phone, and I explained why I thought the sermon was harmful. He said he already knew and that I didn’t have to tell him because he knew how our parents were. He's a smart kid, and he said the pastor ranted about the olympics again before starting his sermon, and I decided to watch the rant for myself on the church's Youtube The topic of his rant was the figure skating gala that occurred towards the end of the olympics (on 2/21), and he called the event inappropriate. He said it was worse than the regular competition because there were less rules which made it more "unhinged", and he didn't like the non-competitive costumes. He said it was inappropriate for kids to watch, and he specifically pointed out Alysa Liu's routine as a "bad example" for kids. Two Sundays before, the same pastor told the congregation to turn the channel from figure skating, but now admits to watching the "inappropriate" gala. I couldn't resist calling my parents to see what they'd think of the hypocrisy, but dad had an answer like he always does He said that the pastor had an obligation to inform "the flock" about certain things for their wellbeing, and he compared it to how parents sometimes watch a movie before showing their kids to make sure it's appropriate. In my opinion, one of two things happened. The pastor felt guilty about getting a hard-on while watching figure skating and came up with a narrative to remove the onus from himself, blaming "the world" by taking a stand that makes him look righteous by projecting onto the congregation. Or the pastor's wife somehow caught him with it or didn't like him watching, and the pastor changed the narrative all the same. He's telling on himself, but he's decent enough at spin The most disturbing part was when the pastor said that the parents of the victims should've been tried along with Nasser for "allowing their kids to wear the uniforms", and that somehow gained applause too. It really feels like a microcosm of the political sphere. The pastor can say whatever he wants (outside of sympathy for the other side of the aisle), and the congregation will eat it up. And just like a certain someone in the news every day, I feel like certain pastors are also seen as unquestionable figures whom the congregation will back. Dad also said that I "don't understand the concept of how an argument works" because I told him that I didn’t wanna see him for a while after this. But when I asked him to explain what he meant, he said arguments happen because people "have a dog in the fight" like disagreeing over a boyfriend or something directly involving them. But since no one in our family has ever done gymnastics, he doesn't get why I'm upset and said it's a front for something else I'm not saying I actually gave my dad one condition under which I'd apologize and admit fault, and that was if he'd agree to tell someone who doesn't attend their church (can even be a Christian relative from another church) what the pastor said about those sports, but phrases it as his opinion too. But when he said there'd be no reason to, I questioned why not if he supposedly supports what the pastor said. Is he being ashamed of the gospel, or does he know deep down that that'll draw him some weird looks? It's telling that the pastor randomly brings up Larry Nassar when his trial was in 2017 Something caused him to randomly bring it up, but no one wants to admit that. And it's not like Larry Nassar is a politician who people can trick themselves into thinking will benefit them (like they excuse the President for knowing Mr. List because they think he's better for the economy or other things). Larry doesn't benefit them in any way other than justifying whatever guilt they have inside that makes them feel relatable to him on some level, and the pastor provided a blueprint on how to project and rationalize guilt in a way that'll garner support from the church. So to answer dad's question, I don't need to have personal experience in gymnastics to be disgusted with him defending Larry Nassar, and we won't be talking for a long time as a result submitted by /u/MadisonBrave to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

So, my 18th birthday is coming up. (April 17th) And my mom (who has a history of doing things like this) has turned every conversation/idea of how we’re going to spend it about her. It first started when I asked her if she wanted to go 50/50 on my upcoming hair appointment instead of a photo shoot (that she does not have booked or have a photographer for) she said, not jokingly “so you want me to do something you want to do and not something I want to do for you?” I replied with “isn’t that the point of someone’s birthday?” And ended that conversation shortly after that. The next instance happened this afternoon. She called me while my aunt and I were playing Mario lol. And asked if I wanted to go to the fancy hotel/resort with a nice restaurant in it. For a normal person that would be great, but for me it isn’t. I have life-threatening allergies. This specific place does not have an allergen menu. Not to mention it is in the middle of nowhere a few hours away from my house. Meaning no hospital near by in case of an emergency. I politely said I would call and ask about it but I would be more comfortable going to one of the restaurants I frequent as I know they are safe for me. She started telling me I needed to look at her ideas with more “duality”. And that I’m turning down her ideas. Which honestly, I feel she’s making without me in mind lol. I’m a home body, I have my daily schedules I rarely shy from. I eat at the same places, again because they’re safe for me. Ect. She then texted me while I was at work asking me what I would like item wise and also what I would like to do with the family. I said the photo shoot would be good and maybe an outfit or two for that as I have no good pictures of myself. And I also said I would like to spend time at my grandmas house, set up the volley ball net, play games, cook some food for everyone (I’m the chef in the family), and just relax and enjoy time with everyone. My most cherished birthdays are spent that exact same way, it’s what I enjoy. I’ll insert the photos of our conversation that was had. Her response to me saying I wanted to go to my grandmas house was insane to me. She basically said “no one wants to go to her house and eat sh*t food” like GURLLL WHAT. I just, I’m lost. She’s taken the joy out of planning it honestly. AIO about this situation? submitted by /u/urmomsslut to r/AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]

I am not OOP. The OOP for this post is u/throwraowlcheesecake. His posts were made to r/OpenChristian, a community that while smaller than r/Christianity, prides itself on being more progressive and LGBTQ friendly with rules that don't allow anyone to speak negatively about them Important Context: Larry Nassar was a Team USA Women's National Gymnastics Team doctor from 1996-2014, where he used his position to exploit and sexually assault hundreds of young athletes as part of the largest sexual abuse scandal in sports history. Nassar was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting at least 265 young women and girls over a 22-year period under the guise of medical treatment. His victims included numerous Olympic gymnasts, with some as young as six-years-old OOP also added that the church was a Non-Denominational church Trigger Warning: pedophilia, victim blaming minors Mood Spoiler: unfortunate Original Post: (February 11th, 2026) I haven't lived with my parents since starting college, and I currently live by myself while working two jobs. I live a little over an hour away, but I come home for the holidays and other occasions, along with the Super Bowl this past Sunday. My parents are very religious, and I have a younger brother who's twelve. I always sleep over whenever I visit, and the only rule is that I must attend church (if staying on a Sunday) because mom doesn't want anyone home when they're not there, and that extended to friends and family since I was young. I was surprised when it extended to me since I grew up in their home, but I'm glad to no longer be forced to attend church every week. My dad always held a Super Bowl party since I was young, and I came up on Saturday to help set up as usual. This situation happened as a result of attending church on Super Bowl Sunday Despite our pastor taking a moment to give his thoughts on the big game before the sermon, the situation came from something else he vented about, and that was the Winter Olympics. Ironically, it wasn't about any of the athletes who made political statements (which was surprising given his history with sharing political opinions). It was about something he and his wife discussed and felt led to share. Long story short, they advised their kids to change the channel if figure skating came on any of the broadcasts, and their reasons were harmful in my opinion. He said that some of the female outfits were "revealing" and not good to watch because it can lead to lust. He also went on about how "the world" finds ways to "normalize telling girls to dress inappropriately". He even said the Summer Olympics did the same thing with the uniforms that the female gymnasts wore... going as far as to call it "normalized p*rn" because their parents would "never allow them to wear a skirt that shows as much" as the uniform outside of the sport setting He also said the uniforms "allowed creeps to watch with lustful intentions and not be questioned" because it was normalized, and he didn't like that possibility when one of his kids used to do gymnastics. He did, however, mention a rule change in recent years that allowed girls to wear shorts over their uniforms during competitions; something he supported and would've required his daughter to wear full-time if she still played. He also said it was unfortunate that the rule change and the female German Olympic team's full-body gymnastics uniforms happened after Larry Nassar's case because "no one wanted to point out the inappropriate uniforms" that he was "forced to be around" because there was an "agenda" to punish him. He also said that many girls were "playing the victim" because society "allowed them to". He even said Nassar "maybe wouldn't have done what he did" if not for the uniforms he was forced to be around, and I personally thought that that shifted blame onto the uniforms instead of his actions. His overarching point, aside from advising parents to consider turning the channel, was to be aware of how the world tries to push their kids to dress inappropriately by normalizing figure skating and gymnastics attire, and I disagreed with much of his message My parents and I discussed it on the drive home, and I mentioned how I thought it was harmful to send that message. My parents disagreed from a purity perspective because they taught purity to us when we turned twelve. I think it's harmful because purity should be a personal choice instead of something instilled by your parents when you're just hitting puberty. I also disagree with how the pastor sexualized both sports and absolved Nassar by blaming the outfits, but they didn't have an issue with it. Heck, a few of the pastor's points received applause (including from my parents), and the whole thing ruined my mood. My mom also plans to inform one of our cousins' parents (whose daughter does gymnastics) about the rule change in case she doesn't know. And while that's fine on its own, I disagree with her motives behind it The message shouldn't be that girls are responsible for the actions of those who sexualize them. They should wear shorts because they want to, not because they think they're doing something wrong by wearing appropriate clothing for the sport. I also felt the pastor was telling on himself and projecting onto the congregation, but my parents didn't see it that way. I helped them clean up for their guests when we returned, but left before the game as some guests began to filter in. My parents were disappointed and said it would've been better if I hadn't come at all, even though I'd helped set up. I'm more concerned with the message they told my brother and how Mom plans to relay it to my cousin. Needless to say, I'll never attend that church again, and I only did whenever I visited, like once a year. Does anyone have any experience with correcting a message from a parent that might be harmful to a younger sibling? Update Post: (February 13th, 2026) My father called me for the first time since we spoke on Sunday at their home, and he had the same tone as his text. He said it was disrespectful of me to leave early when they let me sleep over despite helping them set up. He also said he didn't appreciate having to tell guests why I left early, and he said he made up some excuse. I reiterated my disgust for the sermon and how they supported it. And in hindsight, I should've walked out and waited in the foyer. Granted, I couldn’t drive home because we carpooled, but I'm disappointed that I didn't. However, since the church encourages viewers to share their videos in the descriptions of their YouTube sermons and on social media, I decided to vent my frustration that way using malicious compliance. I left a review of the church that explained why I'll never attend again. I also mentioned how the pastor defended Larry Nassar and left a link to the sermon, along with a timestamp to when his rant began. The link will prove the truth of my review. And if they delete the video, it'll only make it louder (when the link leads to a page that says 'deleted video'). I also made an Instagram story about my disgust for the sermon and left a link to the YouTube sermon there too, and many of my friends have also told me their similar disgust I've lost almost all of my respect for my parents, but that's nothing new unfortunately. I was debating cutting them off when I was in high school, but figured that going to college would provide space that'd help prevent that. I was wrong, but I shouldn't have been surprised. Them finding no issue with the pastor's rant is par for the course of how they still support a certain someone with strong ties to a certain list, and much of my teen years were annoying because of their obsession with that figure. They also loved it when our pastor got political in the past, and that's not what church should be. I return for one sermon simply because of my parents' home rule, and he spins the Winter Olympics into a rant defending Larry Nassar. It's always some new demographic every week with these people, and Sunday was a reminder of why I don't miss church As a result of me not apologizing, Dad said I'm not allowed to come to next year's party, and that's totally fine with me. The other unfortunate part is that Mom talked to my cousin's mom about the sermon, and she agreed with much of it and said her daughter would be required to wear shorts over her uniform going forward because she was unaware that she could. Again, nothing wrong with deciding to wear them. But the message shouldn't be that women are responsible for creeps like my pastor who admitted to being unable to appreciate a sport because his mind is fixated on sex. I don't get why certain Christians like my parents are hyperfixated on it like with purity. My cousin's parents are also Christians, and they agreed with turning the channel from figure skating too. They'll probably do the same with gymnastics in two years, and my church (along with others I've researched) have had females wear t-shirts over their bathing suits at church gatherings with a pool, and I've attended parties with that rule since I was little. That doesn’t stop them from going to the beach where others aren't wearing t-shirts over their bathing suits, but you could go down the hypocrisy rabbit hole forever, and I'm ready to go low-contact. I won't be attending Christmas or Thanksgiving or any other gatherings they have. Granted, it sucks for my younger brother, but I need to worry about my own mental health first ________________ (Comments) (davegammelgard): "What's actually happening is that the pastor is normalizing adult men being creeps and lusting after young girls. This is the way purity culture has worked for hundreds of years - girls are expected to be pure because men can't control themselves. It's not just true in Christianity, but also in Islam, and other cultures. This attitude is harmful to everyone because it reinforces that idea that "boys will be boys" and won't be held accountable, while girls are held responsible for what men do to them. They're "asking for it" if they dress a certain way or behave a certain way. Men need to be taught self control and responsibility. That's the real answer" (Chaoticallyorganized) replied: "This is exactly what it is. No normal man watches figure skating or gymnastics with sexual thoughts towards underage girls. This pastor is unquestionably a disgusting human being and not safe to be around" (exretailer_29): "If you read different sources on Larry Nassar he was sexually molesting all age females from 6-20. So it wasn't all about what some females wore. It was about power and Control and some deep seated evil that drove Larry Nassar. How can a "6-8" year old dress in an inappropriate manner? The onus was always on Larry Nassar. A female could be fully covered up and if someone has evil intentions it doesn't matter what outfit is being worn. It doesn't have to be just Larry Nassar it can be anyone who perceives the victim as being someone they can overpower or take advantage of. Many religious authorities do project their own misguided sexual feelings and I think that is a defence mechanism on their part. The pastor is wrong and I think your parents are too!" submitted by /u/MadisonBrave to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/OnlineShopping2026 Originally posted to r/AITAH AITA for insisting my daughter wear an outfit she doesn’t want to wear to a wedding? Original Post: January 6, 2026 I’m looking for some help on a situation with my kids. We’re attending my brother’s wedding at the end of the month. My younger daughter (7) is a flower girl. The bride, who is my brother’s fiancée, took us to a local shop she liked so we could pick out the flower girl dress. My older daughter (12) is not in the wedding party, she’s too old to be a flower girl, but she still needed something appropriate to wear as a guest. She’s very tall (almost 6’!) for her age, which makes shopping in person challenging. We went to several stores and tried on a number of outfits, but nothing fit her right or was age appropriate or was something she liked. So I ordered her dress online from a store called Lulu’s. When it arrived, it fit her well and was in a color she liked. At the time. it felt like the best option. my oldest is upset because her sister got her dress in-person with the bride involved and got to go out to lunch afterward, while her dress was bought online. She says it isn’t fair and has said she refuses to wear it, even though there’s nothing actually wrong with the dress itself. I explained that we did try to find something in stores and that this was the option that worked, but she still feels hurt. I’m not sure whether I should insist she wear it or try to find another solution this close to the wedding. AITA for expecting her to wear the outfit anyway? AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received mixed reactions, splitting between NTAs and YTAs Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Just take her out to buy accessories and for lunch. How is this something you need to ask the internet? YTA OOP: She shot that suggestion down and said it wasn’t the same. Commenter 2: And neither is their role in the wedding or height. They aren’t going to be the same because they are different situations. At 12 this is something they should be learning. Commenter 3: I think you need to be more direct. Her little sister doesn’t get a choice in her dress. She has a role in the wedding ceremony, and the bride picks out what she wears. Your oldest got to pick out her own dress (emphasis that she gets full control over her dress and her sister doesn’t). Then take out your oldest for a special day of wedding accessory shopping and getting nails done. A lot of this is just standard sibling rivalry OOP: My daughter said she didn’t pick out the dress either. She was against getting it online and said that what I picked was ugly. She said there’s no point in her being in the wedding so she should stay home or stay at her dad’s. And the dress OOP bought for her daughter OOP: This is the dress I bought: https://www.lulus.com/products/romantic-destiny-light-pink-square-neck-trumpet-maxi-dress/2384051.html?src=lulus&ref=search_rr I thought it would cute on her, but she didn’t agree. My daughter sent me this. Is the color going to be a problem?: January 9, 2026 (three days later) Picture of the dress description on the picture of the dress OOP's daughter sent to her Showing a sleeveless, knee-length dress which is a light champagne or pale gold color with a shiny, textured fabric catching the light, giving it a subtly metallic look. It has a V-shaped neckline and a fitted bodice with a defined waist seam. Below the waist, the skirt flares out and features the overlapping, asymmetrical panels, creating a layered, flowy silhouette. end of the description My 12-year-old daughter and a friend went to a thrift store yesterday and found this dress. She says it’s a whitish-gold color, if that makes sense. She wants to wear this to her uncle’s wedding (dress code is formal). But will the color be a problem? I think it may be. But what do you think? Edit: I’m not going to share the photos, but I asked her if she tried it on. She did, and most of you were correct. It was too short. I told her we can talk about this when we got home, but long story short, I had to tell her that the skirt was going to be too short for the dress code. I suggested returning the one I bought for her and to try and find a new dress. she didn’t take it well. Unfortunately, a lot of brick and mortar stores in our area closed. Our mall shut down last year. Most stores don’t stock her size. Someone brought up a dressmaker or tailor, but those closed down as well. Our options are limited. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: On one hand, she’s 12 so no one will think she’s trying to upstage the bride. On the other hand, this is an opportunity to teach her what is appropriate for the occasion and this lovely dress is not it. OOP: The problem is that she hates the dress I bought for her to wear (it’s a long story) but shut down when I tried to take her shopping or find a dress online she’d like. Commenter 2: My friend, we saw the other post. I know she shut you down for shopping for a dress, but has she shut you down for making a fun day, just the two of you? At this point, the dress is whatever, but this experience is going to stick with her as an experience where she was excluded and wasn’t heard, and you’re still focusing on the dress. Offer to take her out for lunch, to buy some special accessories, and steer her toward a dress section at the same store. No pressure, just fun. As for her height, it’s easier to take things in than make things long, and you could find something with ruching on the back. If you still have time to order online, azazie makes lovely juniors dresses, too! You could pitch it to her as something cute, especially if she has any school dances coming up. OOP: She didn’t want to do another shopping trip and broke down crying when I mentioned it. Commenter 3: Based on your previous post, it 100% sounds like the problem your daughter has isn’t with the dress itself but with the experience of getting the dress. Your 12 year old is jealous of the experience your 7 year old got when finding the flower girl dress. I’m sorry but this dress just isn’t appropriate: it’s going to be too short in the front for someone her height, it’s the wrong color, the length of the dress doesn’t fit the dress code, etc. Why not order a few dresses online and make her “buying experience” fun/special as well? You can order a few appropriate dresses online, when they arrive you can invite your brother’s fiancé over and let your 12 year old invite a friend or two over. She can try on and “model” the dresses for you all before deciding which dress is “the one”. You could make it like a “say yes to the dress” type of experience. You could have little snacks and sparking grape juice to toast after she picks her dress etc. This could make an online shopping experience special. Then return the dresses she doesn’t choose. OOP: I actually suggested we buy some dresses online and try them on but she shut down on that comment. She didn’t want to do that and that it wasn’t the same. Commenter 3: I saw you suggested buying some online and she shut it down but she may be more open to it if you made it a bigger deal, not just ordering dresses but making it an experience. OOP: That’s actually what I suggested. I suggested we invite her friends over and she can show off to them and they can help her decide. She didn’t want to do that either. At this point, I’m think I’m going to send her to her dad’s that weekend. Commenter 4: Order online. Azazie, Amazon, Shein (I know the problems with Shein. They're all great for trendy beautiful dresses. OOP: My daughter will kill someone if she finds out the dress came from Amazon.   My SIL is banning football at her wedding this weekend. She’s marrying into a family of Broncos diehards.: January 23, 2026 (two weeks later) My brother is getting married this Sunday. At the time they picked the date, they knew it would on the same day as the final games before the Super Bowl. What they didn’t expect was the Broncos playing. SIL, the bride, is not into football. She thinks it’s boring, which I understand. Football isn’t for everyone. Unfortunately, my brother and I come from a family of diehard Broncos fans. My SIL sent out an email on Monday letting everyone know that they will not be showing the game on Sunday. I get where she is coming from. But I also know that Sunday is going to be a disaster. Nothing in this life is certain except death, taxes, and my dad, his brothers, several other relatives, and even my own daughter determined to find a way to watch the Broncos play. I hate to say this, but I’m entering this weekend knowing it’s going to end badly. edit: I asked my brother to clarify the “no phones” policy. He said that phones are banned during the ceremony (understandable). But that his fiancée doesn’t want people glued to their phones during the reception either. She’s also made it clear they’re not showing the game at the reception. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: this makes me question your whole family, who the fuck gets married during football season? OOP: I’m not the one who set the date. Ask my SIL. To be fair though, my brother doesn’t like sports either. Commenter 2: And your brother is marrying her anyway? OOP: I’m afraid so. Commenter 3: Dude come on. Just be present at the wedding and watch the game on a delay. I watched the final four at my brother’s wedding, and danced and ate and visited with all my friends and family. Don’t be glued to your phone OOP: Tell that to my dad and my daughter. They would rather skip the wedding rather than miss the game. To be fair, both of them dislike the bride.   Update: January 24, 2026 (next day) Hey everyone. I wanted to post an update on a post I made because a lot has happened since my original post, and I did take the comments to heart (even the ones that were hard to read). First, many of you were right: this was never just about the dress. After the post, we tried to do what a lot of commenters suggested and planned a makeup shopping day just for my older daughter. I thought framing it as her special day would help. Unfortunately, it didn’t go well. She’s been getting into very girly, frilly styles lately and loves pop artists like Sabrina Carpenter. That’s the aesthetic she wants. The problem is that those styles just don’t work well on her body right now, and every time something didn’t fit or looked wrong, it felt like confirmation of everything she already hates about being tall. She ended up having a full meltdown in one of the stores. What finally came out was that she hates how everything that fits her makes her look “grown up,” when she doesn’t feel grown up at all. She hates the comments she gets about her height, how mature she looks, how people assume she’s into makeup, skincare, boys, etc. She isn’t. She still likes cartoons, dolls, and kid stuff, and she hates how people tell her that she’s “too old” for those things just because of how she looks. The breaking point that day was actually at a thrift store, where she found a dress she loved on the rack and was so excited about it… and then it just didn’t work on her body at all. That’s when she completely lost it. There’s also a lot of jealousy and hurt around her sister. Her younger sister is getting positive attention for being cute and little and a flower girl, while my older daughter feels like all the attention she gets is negative or uncomfortable. My daughter admitted she didn‘t even want to go to the wedding anymore. Not just because of the dress, but because she already feels like she doesn’t belong. Then we found out that the bride decided they wouldn’t be showing a big football game during the reception. My daughter and a few other family members were really looking forward to that as a way to get through the night, and losing that made her feel even more like there was no point in going. So here’s what we decided. I’m not making her to go to the wedding. I sent back the dress for a refund. My daughter is going to spend the day at a friend’s house instead. Her parents are going to be showing the game, and my daughter is actually excited about that. I pulled my oldest out of school on Friday and we did a special shopping trip, but for a new football jersey she can wear on Sunday, as well as some new books and lunch at a restaurant she likes. I also apologized to her. For not realizing how deep this went, for pushing solutions instead of listening, and for underestimating how painful this whole thing is for her. I know some people will think skipping a family wedding is the wrong call. Maybe it is. But this feels like the best option for us. Thank you to everyone who shared their own experiences—especially from the tall girls who said this stuff sticks with you. That really changed how I looked at the situation. Top Comments Commenter 1: Honestly this sounds like really good parenting. You listened, changed course, prioritized her actual feelings over “but family events!” and found something that made her feel seen instead of shoved into a role she hates right now. The tall girl stuff is brutal at that age and it absolutely sticks, so the fact that you’re validating it instead of telling her to “get over it” is huge. Skipping one wedding is nothing compared to your kid remembering that her mom had her back when she was miserable. Commenter 2: I agree. You did good OP. She’s 12 and I remember how I hated puberty or onset of it all. No doubt she’s also getting creepy male attention a well or feeling those vibes. It’s a horrible time and even women around you also start behaving like periods are great and that you should be into make up / ‘turning into a woman’ 🤮🤮🤮 etc. it’s horrible and awkward and not fun . who knows maybe she will in years to come but no one has been meeting her at her right now and you turned this around to do it. I think letting her be with her friends instead of the wedding is a good call. She’d be bored shitless and uncomfortable. What might be a solution is maybe she might want to learn to sew? That way she can make her own clothing. Maybe it’s something you could both do together as a special activity if she’s open to it. Because it’s a good skill and also you can thrift stuff but repurpose clothing too instead of completely from scratch.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I (20M) have a brother (18M) and growing up he always saw me as our parents favorite kid. And I think a lot of people saw it that way. But in reality I was the chosen child. My parents paid way more attention to me and were more involved in my life, but they didn't like me or anything about me. Instead they tried to mold me into the child of their dreams while they ignored my brother. We were treated differently and he thinks I always had everything I wanted when I got nothing I wanted. My parents moved me from public to private school when I was 7 even though I hated private school and liked my old school. They said I needed the best education. My schedule was filled with extra curricular's my parents wanted me to take, like football because every young man needs a team sport and the chance to be a star, debate because every young man needs to learn how to hold an argument and fight for what he believes in, piano for the sophistication and swimming because I needed to be more active. I didn't like any of that stuff or at least not in that context. I live swimming but not competitively and I was forced to be competitive with it. I had no interest in football or piano and when I asked to play different things my parents ignored me. Debate just plain sucked and I wasn't good at it which meant my parents actually paid people to tutor me in debate. And when I asked to drop it they ignored me. They had a way of not even acknowledging that you spoke even if you repeated yourself over and over. They bought me a lot of clothes but they chose everything from my shoes to my socks to the actual outfits. I wasn't allowed to wear sweats outside of the gym or practices. Jeans had to be a certain style. I couldn't wear character shirts or wear fun socks. Even my underwear was chosen 100% by them and I had zero say. Most of the time they didn't even take me shopping for the stuff they just gave them to me. I had obligations to attend their parties with friends where they could show me off and boast about me. But it wasn't even really me. I wasn't the amazing football player who was hoping to go pro like they used to suggest. I hated every second of football and I got more injuries because of it. Not that they cared. All the amazing grades for all the amazing classes I took? My classes were chosen by my parents, not me, and it was expected I would get straight A's in everything and win awards. My brother never saw the time our parents berated me for three hours because I got C's and D's when I was 16 because I was so fucking miserable. But they did. They told me how I needed to pull myself together and they knew what they were doing and I just needed to do what they said. Anytime I got something they didn't like. Whether it was a book they didn't want me reading or a poster for something I liked but didn't get to enjoy at home, they destroyed it. I remember using money someone gave me and buying an Avatar Aang Funko Pop I thought looked cool and I kept it in my room and it took up hardly any space. They broke it and tossed it in the trash and said it was not the kind of thing I should have. I graduated with grades my parents hated and we fought that day because they saw I had packed up and was leaving. When my brother saw me he thought our parents were sending me somewhere cool and he told me to go fuck myself and die. In reality I was homeless for a while and landed on my feet once I got a trainee position at my job. I'm only now JUST on my feet and none of it had anything to do with my parents. I don't have access to their money anymore and I don't want it. The other week my brother called and he said he was moving in with me and I needed to tell him where. I was like wait what and he started yelling and he told me mom and dad's golden child doesn't get to say anything but yes because I need to make all those years where I was the favorite up to him. I told him all the stuff I said here and repeatedly reminded him none of that was true and that the times I brought stuff up to him before I was not lying. He told me he didn't believe me and said I needed to stop pretending and I'm an AH if I won't help him because he deserves that and more from me. But I won't let him stay just to treat me like shit and I told him that and all he said was I was a spoiled asshole. AITA? submitted by /u/Kolauduuruun to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

Posted to HerOnebBag but posting here as well since I drew so much inspiration from this sub! Trip Overview: * Major U.S. city (keeping the location vague for safety). * We’re combining her tournament with a few extra days for sightseeing—think museums, parks, zoos, aquariums, shopping, and general city exploring. * Weather: highs in the 50–70s, lows in the 40s, some rain expected. * Accommodations: hotels and convention centers (which are always freezing). * Wearing team flair during her game days (only then). There are 3 items I will probably only wear once but will work with everything I have in the capsule. * 10 days, but some days will require outfit changes for different activities. Would need 12-15 outfits. * No PJs, will use my clothes to sleep in/lounge. My Capsule: Sports Gear: * D. Team trucker hat * L. Costco cropped ¼ zip hoodie (DIY logo added) * K. Columbia fleece vest (with team logo) Shoes (shared): * A. Adidas Sambas – light green/cream/tan * B. ON Cloud 6 – white * C. Birkenstock Boston clogs – taupe Accessories: * E. Nike green hat * F. Tiffany aviator sunglasses (Mother’s Day gift) * W. Compact umbrella (Costco) * U. Longchamp Le Pliage foldable handbag (splurge) * V. Isaac Mizrahi insulated backpack (TJ Maxx clearance gem—love this bag for travel and sport days) Toppers: * H. Free People gray cardigan with pockets * I. Stretch denim vest (10+ years old, still love it) * J. Aerie cream waffle-knit oversized sweater Tops: * M. Vuori Villa cami (olive – matches joggers) * N. White tank (TJ Maxx) * O. FP green crop sleeveless tee * P. Amazon basic black long-sleeve Bottoms: * Q. Vuori Villa cargo joggers (olive – matches cami) * R. FP Movement wide-leg harem pants (green – $15 TJ Maxx score) * S. Vuori Halo wide-leg pants (black heather – doubles as lounge/PJs) * T. Athleta Brooklyn Heights cargo pants (black – MVP travel pants: flattering, wrinkle-free, fast-drying, and currently on sale) Swim: * G. Kate Spade one-piece (black – hotel hot tub only) Not Pictured: * 5 underwear, 2 bras, 5 socks Will do sink laundry. Debating switching cardigan or jean jacket for a rain trench but have an umbrella and feel like I’d get more use out of those than a raincoat. My kiddo will be sharing my casual shoes. Would love feedback or suggestions! submitted by /u/Vivid-Plantain24 to r/capsulewardrobe [link] [comments]

My husband (32M) and I (32F) have a daughter, Mia (12F), as well as sons 10M and 9M. We all went to a Mother’s Day breakfast with my siblings and parents. We had a reservation at a high end restaurant. My sister Courtney (37F) has 2 kids, 13F and 11M. Her son, Dudley has a friend from basketball whose parents are from the Philippines. My sister and her husband (and no one in our family really, except Dudley) are not sports people, but ever since he could walk, Dudley has loved basketball. His parents put him in a program at 2 and that’s where he met his best friend. Dudley has gifts from his friend from the nation and has gone on vacation there with them. Dudley was wearing some traditional outfit from the tribe his friend’s family is a part of, I don’t remember the name of the outfit or tribe, though Dudley mentioned it. Mia is unfortunately going through her preteen mean girls phase right now, we have tried everything but she’s still acting out. Mia made comments as soon as she saw Dudley, asking him why he was wearing something so ugly. She asked him if he was shopping for clothes in the dark. I told her to stop but she continued to make fun of him. When Dudley explained what he was wearing, Mia said that “those people must be weird”, referring to the tribe Dudley’s friend is a part of. At this point, I told Mia to get up and told her we needed to speak. She got up and I went to the car with her and told her to knock it off, she told me no. After some arguing, we went back and finished our food and then we drove home. When we got home, I told my husband we needed to speak, after speaking, we told her she was grounded for a week and took her phone away. We went to my sister’s house to exchange gifts, while there my mom said she is upset at how we punished Mia, saying that she’s only 12 and we are being too hard on her. She said that Mia will make mistakes and that taking her phone away is too harsh of a punishment and will only make her resent Dudley. AITA? submitted by /u/xvbgf76 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/dorkvader23 Bride made a profit on bachelorette trip!! (SIL drama) Originally posted to r/weddingshaming Thanks to u/Kresley for suggesting this BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: financial exploitation, controlling behavior, theft, fraud, manipulation, mentions of mental health issues, body image insecurity Forced to wear revealing bridesmaid dress!! Jan 20, 2024 I miss the days when bridesmaids were treated like people and not like stage props! My future SIL is getting married so of course I’m a default bridesmaid. She didn’t give us options for the dress, she picked it out and told us it’s the one we’ll be wearing. The dress is a strapless, backless, thigh slit halter neck. I am a larger girl - triple D chest should explain why I don’t wear backless or halter styles. Backless means I can’t wear any form of supportive bra AND there is virtually no shapewear I can put underneath it. The only bras that work are stickies or tape, which do not hold me up in the least. I tried the dress on….my chest is spilling out the sides, back rolls are on full blast, and I am popping out of this thing every which way. I’m so uncomfortable. I basically told the bride sorry, I know it’s your big day but there is no way I’m wearing this dress. My body shape is different from the rest of the bridal party and I can’t justify wearing it. I told her I’d be fine if I can simply modify it to be more conservative at the back and chest. She DECLINED and told me to “just be more confident in myself” because all the dresses must be identical for photos. I have no body confidence issues, there are plenty of styles that suit my figure. It just so happens that this dress was not made for larger women and does not look appropriate on my body. I want to drop out of the wedding but my family insists I stay in because it’s my SIL and it would “ruin” the wedding and the relationship. I don’t get why I should have to be paraded around in front of my entire family, extended family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, etc in an outfit that makes me uncomfortable. It’s just getting ridiculous. Brides - please have enough tact to make sure your girls are comfortable on your special day. We’re humans, not props. RELEVANT COMMENTS beckerszzz Did she not go shopping with her bridesmaids to try on the dresses? I feel like this would have solved all the problems. OOP Nope, she chose one online (no consulting with any of the bridesmaids.) I know a few of the other BMs were irked because they would have liked to have a say in the dress, but ultimately no one else complained to her face. The rest of the group is fairly tiny so I’m sure they’re ok in the dress even if it’s not their first choice ~ gnosticnightjar Can anyone link to a similar dress? I’m having a very hard time picturing what a dress that is backless but also both strapless and a halter top looks like. Aren’t strapless and halter mutually exclusive? OOP Yes……so a backless halter dress. ———————- UPDATE First of all thank you so much for all the support. I appreciate your helpful advice and suggestions. On that note, I’ve decided to stay in the wedding to avoid sending my mother to an early grave. HOWEVER!!! I’ve also decided I’ll be wearing the sh*t out of this dress and making sure the center of attention is not on the lovely bride. I tried to resolve the issue with tact and class and was shot down, so I feel I’ve earned the right to be petty. I’m going to order some really specific shapewear which can be concealed under what little material this dress has (kudos to you all who sent me suggestions!!) I’ll be going FULL side boob, FULL shimmer added on the exposed back, and FULL body oil on the legs for the thigh slit. I’ll be doing an updo on the hair so there is nothing getting in the way of this dress 💃🏻 I’ll be wearing a shawl for everything else, but TRUST that for the ceremony I’ll be looking like Salma Hayek in Dusk till Dawn. Let’s see what she thinks about this “body confidence” she asked me to find. GIRL please! If anyone is curious I’ll most likely come back in May to post my pics!! Bride made a profit on bachelorette trip!! (SIL drama) Jan 23, 2024 SO MUCH TEA. I’m glad I can spill to my Reddit community because I can’t gossip about it to my family! SO - about 6 months ago the bride planned her destination bachelorette trip and charged each of the 11 girls $650 for the Airbnb. I was salty about the high cost but it’s my SIL so I sucked it up and paid her. I also was suspicious about the high AF price so I did cross check the Airbnb listing and it checked out. (Yes this b wanted a $2300/night beachfront house.) Well today I’m chatting about wedding stuff with my brother (who is marrying future SIL) and he said something along the lines of “what a relief her dad paid for the Airbnb because that would have been so expensive for your group.” I about choked! I said hey are you sure about that because all 11 girls paid $650 for the house alone. Maybe run it by her…:..his face turned purple so I take it he had no idea. To add to the greed going on here - when I got married I flew her out, paid for her accommodations, paid hair and makeup, paid for her bridesmaid dress, and paid transportation because she was going through a hard time. Now she has the balls to steal from me. I get that weddings are expensive but don’t have one if it requires stealing from your BMs. I’m assuming I’m the only BM who is aware of what’s going on here. Not sure if I should spill to the group or just let it go…… There’s a chance her dad stepped in and paid for it after the fact, and she just chose not to refund us. I’m not clear on the exact situation and want to avoid embarrassing my brother. —————— UPDATE #1 Thanks for all the advice and support! Yes - I agree with most of you who are saying I’m morally obligated to spill the beans because $650 is not child’s play. This is what I’m going to do. First, I’m going to talk to my brother and give him a chance to clear it up with SIL. Before I make a scene, I want to understand what’s really going on. For example, did daddy pay for the trip but SIL decided to put that towards a different wedding expense? Things like that. That answer will determine when/how I tell the rest of the BMs. Im going to give my brother only 1-2 days because this trip is literally next week. Stay tuned for update #2 —————————— UPDATE #2 Alright so I regrouped with my brother. My mom also stepped in, bypassed my brother, and got some more info directly from her dad! HERE’S THE TEA - future SIL’s dad did not offer to cover the cost until a few months after we all paid for the trip. This was after he found out the cost and was pissed that she chose a $2300/night house and asked us to pay. Apparently he threatened not to pay for the wedding if she added more expenses onto the wedding party. Turns out she originally wanted it at the Maldives and he forbid her! According to my mom who chatted with him directly, he felt embarrassed when he heard about the Airbnb price and wanted to save face with my side of the family. So he gave SIL about $7k to cover the cost of the house. She was supposed to refund us but obviously that never happened. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD - so my mom went total FBI and learned that in addition to not paying us, SIL didn’t put the money towards a different wedding expense either. SHE DOESNT HAVE IT. So where did it go?? What did she spend it on?? There is currently a FULL BLOWN INVESTIGATION going down between our two families rn! I have been asked by my mom not to alert the BMs just yet until we get the last bits of info AND come to a resolution with both SIL and her dad. But we WILL tell them asap one way or another. I will come back tomorrow with another update!! Wow, CRAZY. ————————— UPDATE #3 The plot thickens!! So as this drama is all unfolding, the maid of honor (who doesn’t know what’s going on yet) is continuing her duties. We all get a 4-paragraph text from her outlining the dress code for each night of the bachelorette, per the brides orders. Keep in mind the bride is asking us all to go out and buy new outfits for each night of the trip. And the themes are WILD - animal print Thursday, Faux Fur Friday, Sparkle Dress Saturday, and Barbie brunch Sunday. As if we’re all going to go out and buy that sh*t one week before the trip (or at all!!) Thankfully the BM’s seem to be waking up to the BS. Several of them wrote back saying they won’t be able to pull together those outfits in time, and one flat out said it’s just not going to happen. But that’s just a side story to the absolute sh*t show that is unfolding. My mom is very involved now as she’s paid a decent chunk of this wedding as well, and does NOT like that the bride is throwing around THOUSANDS of dollars from her dad as well as lying to the bridal party. SHE SET UP A MEETING directly with SIL to cut the BS and explain what’s going on. She told SIL she’s going to inform the BM’s herself unless she gets a valid answer. At this point I’m just shoveling down popcorn waiting for the events to unfold. I will be back tonight with hopefully the final update!! ———————— UPDATE #4 A SWAN ICE SCULPTURE. She used the $7k to book a swan shaped ice sculpture to be displayed at the reception and didn’t tell anyone. Turns out her dad banned her from adding any more “extras” to the wedding design because it was already so expensive and unnecessary. When he venmoed her for the Airbnb, she thought she was being sneaky and kept it instead. She didn’t even tell my brother this - he only found out that her dad decided to cover the Airbnb because those two went out for cigars one night and it came up. So that mystery is solved thanks to my mini FBI crew - but now the REAL questions remain. Where tf is my $650 and how to break the news to the BM’s!?? Out of the kindness of her SOUL my mom is giving SIL 24hrs to confess to the bridesmaids and figure out how to pay us back our money. Because you know what, I did not spend $650 on some damn ICE!!!!! I have kids to feed! I have BILLS TO PAY. It is taking everything in me not to text the BM group right now but my mom is trying to give SIL one opportunity to do the right thing. This has been a roller coaster - don’t know if anyone here is still interested, but let me know if I should post the final outcome with the BM’s in one last update. Lord have MERCY. ———————————— UPDATE #5 Ok - as promised here is the latest tea, served BOILING hot. This is a long update and I’m going to try and get everything in. First let’s start with the bride’s explanation to her family: myself, my mom, my brother (her fiance) and her dad. She broke down crying saying that wedding planning has been getting to her head, and she has been “crushed” under the pressure to have the perfect wedding. Which she felt couldn’t go on without this alleged Ice Swan. I didn’t buy her sob story. After this whole incident I think she is a delusional, controlling, attention-starving bridezilla who is using the wedding as a way to compete with other girls on instagram. Btw her job is “influencer” if I didn’t mention that yet. My brother took the bait. To be honest, I don’t even blame him. This is his future wife, and he said he wants to help her with her mental health and get her back to a good place. He is disturbed by the situation but will continue to support her. The wedding is on, for those who were curious. Next let’s get into the matter of the missing $7K and whether we’re getting our money back. The sad, gut wrenching answer: probably not. Her dad said he has already paid the Airbnb cost once and he will not do it again. He said his daughter is 31 and needs to get herself out of her own mess and figure out how to make it right. She chimed in that the $7K is gone and asked how she would possibly pay us back. My brother refused to pay for her screw up. While I love that everyone is finally forcing this b to be an adult, I would like my money back more. Unfortunately we’re not going to get it unless she magically wins the lottery or gets a real job. For those that asked, there is nothing we can do legally. We all willingly paid a fixed amount and we would have to move mountains (and spend more $$$) to sue. Plus, while she was incredibly shady and a terrible friend, she technically didn’t do anything wrong that we could prove. Now onto the bridesmaids. After some threats from my mom, SIL finally broke down and contacted the BMs in our group chat. She sent a text that made my skin crawl: “Hey Ladies! You’re my bride squad so I feel compelled to share that my dad recently offered to pay for our bach accommodations. However, being that the wedding is so expensive, I have decided to put his donation towards a wedding expense. I hope you all understand and I can’t wait to party with you all next week!” Oh HELL no. I immediately replied back making sure everyone knew the “expense” was an ice sculpture. AN ICE SWAN!! Come ON PEOPLE! Many of them replied and expressed how they would have loved to use that $650 for something more important. But ultimately no one has backed out…..one of the girls started a side chat without the bride and asked if there is any chance of getting our $$ back if we force SIL to cancel the reservation. Unfortunately since we’re only a week out, we aren’t eligible for a refund. They decided to go through with the bach or else it would be a literal waste of $650. As for myself…..I’m in the same boat. I would rather run myself over than go on this trip. But $650 is not a small amount and I can’t fathom just throwing it down the drain. I haven’t made my final decision yet. If I do go, it will solely be to avoid eating the $650 plus my airfare. I will not be doing any of the planned events or outfits, or contributing even $1 more. I would have my own mini vacation as best I can. Im really upset that it seems like this crazy person is going to get her way after all!! MINI UPDATE 5.a There are so many curious comments coming in so I want to keep you in the loop!! More drama has unfolded among the bridesmaids. The side-text without the bride popped off and we have all agreed to do the following: We will be going on the trip, but it is NO LONGER a bachelorette trip. We will all be taking personal vacations with our hubbies/significant others while staying at the property. We were forced into this beachfront mansion + airfare, so we’re going to make the most of it. We have all backed out of hosting and paying for the bridal shower. The bride will need to find another way to move forward if she wants to have it. We will attend as guests if she has it, and we will not be gifting anything. Mother of the bride is absolutely furious. More on this later. We’re letting the bride know she needs to cancel the Ice Swan ™ and give us our money back. After some more research, we doubt all of the $7k went towards the alleged swan because it doesn’t seem liken they cost that much. I won’t be back for a while because I want to save my next update for after the trip! Stay tuned. FUN FACT This is not one of my updates but I thought you guys might like to know that bored panda picked up this story 😂 Check it out: link to article I will be back around Tuesday with the FINAL post bachelorette trip update! RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO Perspex_Sea Info: I need to know if you're also paying for your own dress, shoes, make up, hair on top of this. OOP Yes - everything. A $350 dress (I have a whole other post about that scandal) $150 hair, $150 makeup, $200 shoes, and I haven’t done jewelry yet. Oh and the bridal shower cost is being split among the 11 girls, PLUS the shower gift, PLUS the wedding gift from me and hubby. I truly hope bridesmaids go out of style in the very near future…..I go broke every time and on top of that you end up slaving away for some bridezilla. Not all brides are like this. I’ve been in a few weddings that were really great. THIS is not one of those times. ~ SouthernCrime So, you have paid $650 for the Airbnb but now you have the added expenses of everything on the trip on the 4 coordinated outfit activities with her sparkly, furry, barbie dresses. (So glad yall just dismissed those!!) Why do these sad sad women think they need to beat everyone on IG instead of just sticking to a reasonable budget and having a good, stress free wedding. OOP Oh helllll no. IF I go, I will not be doing any of the planned outfits or events. I’ll most likely have my own mini vacation so as not to eat the cost of my airline ticket on top of everything else - which I already paid for too ~ Tis_But_A_Scratch- Good LORD. $650 is good money to anyone not absolutely rolling in the stuff. Honestly if my friend or family expected me to fork out 650, I’d tell them to take a hike off a short pier. When I got married, I paid for hotels, meals, everything related to my wedding. Guests just had to show up. OOP Yes - this exactly. I got married out of the country, which tbh was a way to cut my guest list down to only 15 people. With that said, we paid for flights, accommodations, BM dresses and hair/MUA, no bridal shower / no bach, and all the guests had to do was show up and have a good time. And yes, future SIL was part of that group. The petty part of me wants to send her the bill of her costs from my wedding! If I could go back in time…. ~ Castianna Whatever happened to just going out to dinner and maybe a few drinks with your girlfriends? Shadiness aside, this just seems like a lot of work and I'm experiencing secondhand exhaustion. OOP Weddings and all the events that go with them have gotten completely out of control lately. And while this one is pretty extreme, I’m in 3 other weddings this year which are equally involved and expensive. And why is it only the BM’s who are victim to the extreme cost and all the labor/hard work that goes into it? Looking at my brother and the groomsmen - the bachelor party was a short drive up to the mountains where they stayed (for free) at a friend’s place, hung out, had some beers, and wished my brother well. Meanwhile the BM’s are spending our life savings, using up PTO, and putting in Olympic sport effort just to get through the bachelorette alone. Not to mention the bridal shower and all the other things still to come. Sorry to create another rant but I am so over weddings and bridezillas. OOP UPDATED AFTER THE BORU WAS POSTED NEW UPDATE FINAL UPDATE #6 Warning - this is a long one. The absolute TEA I have today. It took me so long to write this because I am at a complete and utter LOSS FOR WORDS. Where to begin 🐸☕️ …. Let me start with this: there is no Ice Swan. There never was an ice swan. It was all an elaborate fabrication designed to distract everyone from where the missing $7k actually went. RIP Ice Swan ™ Turns out there was a reason behind SIL’s luxury bachelorette location. Here’s what happened - all the bridesmaids show up to the beachfront mansion with our significant others. SIL had already been made aware that it was no longer a bachelorette, but to our complete shock, she was still stunned that we actually meant it. She arrived last in her pre-booked limo absolutely FUMING that no one else showed up to the limo meeting spot at the airport. She was the only one still sticking to the original itinerary. Then she was flabbergasted that the husbands/SO’s were with us. It was a comedy show at best. Anyway we went about our individual mini vacations and eventually someone realized it had been about 48hrs since anyone had seen SIL. I assumed she was mad and either flew home or went to stay somewhere else. Then the unthinkable unfolds. SIL rolls up the driveway in a wheelchair being pushed by two female nurses. The entire group jumped into action thinking something horrible happened - everyone ran over to see what was going on but the nurses ushered us away and wheeled SIL into her room. At this point I’m actually VERY concerned - we’re all banging on her door asking if she’s ok. The nurses eventually leave and say they legally can’t reveal the nature of her health issue but assure us she’s fine. I call my brother and mom but get no answer, so I finally decide to call her mom (aka the mother of the bride, who was FURIOUS that we took over the bachelorette party.) MOB reveals what actually took place. She isn’t sick, she didn’t have a health issue, there was no accident - She got her boobs done. 🍈🍈 Yes folks you read that correctly. She had planned - as part of the original itinerary - to disappear for an afternoon and return with a set of new melons. ……..I’m sorry….WHAT????? The location of the beachfront mansion is conveniently 5 mins away from a very famous cosmetic surgeons office. The reason she needed this giant ass property was not really to host 11 girls, it was to host 11 girls plus the surgery recovery nurses and personal chef she had reserved for after the operation. There is so much more that we need to unpack, I honestly don’t know where to begin. • What was her mother’s knowledge/involvement in all this? • What was the cost of the procedure (GUESSING AROUND $7K) and WHY was it meant to be part of the bach??? • WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THE ICE SWAN LIE??? wtf??!? • will the bridesmaids (myself included) pursue legal action? • where does this leave my brother? Is this lady OK mentally? Was this a horribly misplaced cry for attention? Was it an FU to the bridesmaids somehow? So many questions remain….i am only a few hours back from this trip so this is all the information I have right now. I was intending for this to be my final update and I just want to say - thank you ALL for your support, advice, bags of popcorn, and funny input. This has been a WILD ride and I’m glad I could share it with you. So far we have had this crazy ordeal picked up by a news publication, multiple podcasts, and a magazine. I literally want to write a book about this experience 😂 I’ve already revealed a great deal of info and so to protect my brother’s privacy moving forward, I think I need to step away from the updates. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO nunyaranunculus Oh my god. Are you SURE your brother wasn't in on the theft? Because breast augmentation isn't exactly something you do without consultations and having someone to help you for the ensuing few weeks following the procedure. Did her mother know and was she in on it? I'm assuming FoB and MoB are divorced? If your brother is truly in the dark, his fiancée is throwing red flags around like Oprah threw car keys and he still has time to back out of this. OOP So far I know that my brother was aware of the procedure but never imagined our money went towards it. We’re still figuring out exactly where the money went. Apparently there was going to be some grand boob reveal during the bach and we would all celebrate her - I’m still piecing together the details crumb by crumb ~ jaduhlynr I'm guessing she planned on paying out of pocket for the surgery (and having the BMs cover the house), then when the dad offered to pay for the Airbnb she saw the dollar signs and ran with it OOP Yeah, we’re assuming this is most likely what happened. I’m still piecing together details about when the hired staff became involved (was this before or after the BM’s backed out?) but at the very least we think she saw an opportunity for free $$$ towards the procedure in one way or another ~ BananaIceTea Nah, this story was kinda believeble at first, but the last few updates were just pure fiction. How did you all managed to organize your spouses to go with you so suddenly? How much was the surgery, personal chef, limo? I just doesnt add up. Especially given the time frame. OOP I don’t know all the costs yet or the timeline that she organized all these things - we’re still gathering information 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can’t speak for the other BMs but my husband works remote and was more than happy to tag along. Plus he got to leave the kids at grandmas, which is another incentive lol. As for the new melons, this is total speculation but I’m betting she has an onlyfans. I know her influencer career (if you can call it that) is not working out, and I have seen several “influencers” switch over to OF. Not trying to cast even more judgement on her but I just wouldn’t be surprised at this point. LiberryExpresso So she gets wheeled past you, you and the bridesmaids find out that she got a boob job with your money, and you all just...left without any follow up discussion? What did the other bridesmaids say? How was there no confrontation with the bride at this point? OOP Of course there was confrontation/questions/discussion. It simply has not yielded all the answers yet. We also didn’t chain down the bride and water board her for answers - we took it all in and tried to end our trip on a somewhat normal note 🙂 Editor's note: AGAIN- PLEASE REMEMBER THE NO BRIGADING RULE. Do NOT dm OOP or comment on their posts. This is becoming a serious problem on this sub and we don't want to get banned. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Tiny-Zee My father continously makes fun of my body and won't listen when i ask him to stop Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes TRIGGER WARNING: Body shaming, emotional and verbal abuse, physical abuse MOOD SPOILER: Infuriating, enraging Original Post Oct 3, 2023 To start things off with a few side notes I am very insecure about my body and have been since a child. I am especially insecure about my stomach and thighs. I do train. I do eat right but it's just an issue that will forever haunt me. I have come to terms with it over the years but at the moment, I'm not sure what to think. I am 5'3 and weigh about 50-55kgs. My stomach is a bit plump and my thighs are pretty large. My body is covered in stretch marks from god knows where. I have been teased about this in school to the point of dropping out due to mental health and trauma. The rumors got out of hand. It started with my body then it went to me apparently sleeping with everyone in school. They bragged about the thickness of my thighs, how fun it apparently was to grab the skin on my hips. How the marks made them feel superior because they looked like scars. Keep in mind i have never shown my body during my time in school. I have never slept or merely engaged in conversations with anyone unless i was forced to. I never mentioned it. Never did sports. The only person who knew was a so called best friend who ended up getting jealous that I managed to pull a date. That was the only reason. It hurt a lot but by the time she confessed i was already down low. To the point of nearly ending it all. My teachers even laughed in my face when i went to them for help because my parents brushed me off. The only thing that was holding me together with sparkly glitter glue was that godsend of a date who i am still with today. He always assures me that my body is perfect to him but i could never truly believe it. I could never shake away those memories and i can't shake away the comments from my own father. The person who i looked up to and respected. My father has always been a joking person. Always finds a way to lighten up a room but now, i don't think i can ever see him the same again. He knows how i feel about my body, he has always supported me and encouraged me to train if i really wanted to but now i feel like it was just an act. I don't know what to think or feel. I don't know if im overreacting or not. About a year ago the comments started. They were innocent at first so i brushed it off as his jokes. Then came the hip pinching. The stretch mark dad jokes. The remarks about wearing tigher pants to hide my oversized legs. It really hurt. I couldn't deal with it at the time so my aunt, who i consider as a mother, took matters into her own hands. It stopped for a while. Until a few months ago. I was slowly getting comfortable with my body again and decided to wear shorts for the first time in a long time when we went to visit my parents. I had my back turned while talking to my mother. My stomach dropped when i felt the pinch on my thighs. I knew what was coming. He said "whats with this? I thought you diet!" And he jiggled the skin of my thigh, emphasizing what he was referring too. I couldn't stop the sob and i just left. My partner didn't know what was happening when i pulled him to the car and asked him to drive home. I was a mess. That night he just held me and i was grateful for his presence. All the memories started coming back by that single 'joke'. He still found ways to comment on my body but i forced myself to ignore it and act unbothered. That brings us to 3 days ago. Its nearing my birthday so my mother and I were discussing an outfit to get me. She wanted to personally look for something so she needed my measurements in which i gave her. She was using my dads phone as she has a bad streak of luck with breaking hers. My dad then started. He asked me why my waist was so wide. Why my hips were so high. Why i wasn't proportioned right. If i was sure i measured in cm instead of mm. I went along with it because i wanted to at least try to be the better person but i failed. I broke when he told me that i will never be able to fit into any of the outfits my mother showed me. Its pointless and i should just cut holes into a bag and wear that to my birthday party instead because its the only thing that i will fit in. He didn't stop there no. He said it needed to be long enough to make me look at least normal. I dropped my phone at that point, sobbing. I couldn't stop and again my partner just held me, whispering reassuring words throughout my breakdown. I ended up trying to talk to him. Trying to get him to stop but he just brushed me off like my school days. He told me he was only joking and i need to stop being so serious. That i can't help my body turned out the way it did. The worst part about it was they visited me today and i had to act fine because we had other guests over. It didn't take long for the jokes and pinching to start. In front of everyone. He pinched my thigh when i walked passed. He pinched my stomach, my hips. He said that im getting bigger because of my stretch marks that he apparently never knew were there. He asked if i was mad at him but all i could do was plaster on a smile because i couldn't say anything. I was on the brink of bursting into tears. When they were leaving, he tried to joke around and pinch me again. I managed to choke out 'please stop' and he told me to stop being dramatic and accept that its a joke. My partner is not happy about it but i asked him not to intervene. I am appreciative that he is here for me but i cannot handle a fight right now. He's been trying to cheer me up, showing me cute outfits, saying how nice i will look in them and all other stuff but i cant bring myself to let it go. I know it's not his fault and im wrong for not wanting him to step in but right now i just need a hug. Am i overreacting? Update Oct 10, 2023 Hi all. I didn't think i'd come back but here i am. I just want to thank you all and give you an update. Thank you for all the hugs. Some things some of you wanted to know: - i am turning 21 now in November - i dropped out of highschool in 10th grade - i have lived with my partner since then and he is 23 - his family is very supportive and took me in with open arms - my partner and I now live on our own - my mother is that type of person who will side with anyone in a matter of seconds And yes the only thing holding me back is the fact that they are my parents I sat my father down as per request and tried to speak to him again. It ended up being the same as the previous times. My partners father has heard of whats been happening but never witnessed it until yesterday. My parents came over to visit again with no knowledge that my partners parents were there. It was only a visit for planning of my 21st. My dad didn't seem to care that there was a new member to the audience and started his shit. I was wearing a pair of tights which some of you know as leggings as my sweats were dirty. I rarely wear tight clothes as it gives my father more fuel to his insults. I was making coffee and he shouted "Why are your thighs jiggling like that?! Do you actually train?!" My mother laughed like it was the funniest thing ever and i heared a smack and my dad yelping straight after. Thats a common thing between my parents but it usually only happens in front of others. My future in laws didn't say anything but I could see they were confused and annoyed. After the next couple of pinches, smacks and comments my parnters dad lost it. He started berating my dad and told him that he's a pathetic excuse for a father. Told him that for all these years he had to ensure i was okay because he didn't have a fucking clue to raising a child. How sick he was for even thinking its okay to treat a daughter like that. He made sure to tell him how he has damaged me mentally to the point of just accepting it. How many times his son had to hold me until i cried myself to sleep over one of his jokes. That went on for what seemed like forever and my partner soon joined in. It ended up being turned to my mother who tried to switch sides again. My partners mother is a good woman but she has a nasty side and she wasn't afraid to show it. She is one woman you don't want to upset aside from my aunt who was called and gladly snuck her nose in. She ended up saying that they either apologize and get the fuck out or they no longer have a daughter. They apologized but my dad still couldn't see why its so wrong to joke. Its what fathers do apparently. I was crying during the extent of it and still am. Not about the fight but the fact that I know just how pointless it was. I was right as he came back today and gave me a bag with holes cut into it. "Got your outfit. Made the holes bigger for your arms and thighs too. Make sure to wear a belt." I just froze in place and could only focus on his smirk. I was still standing there, bag in hand as he drove away. Later on today i got a message from him related to my writing and art that he found. He started mocking that too. Commented on how i wish i could be as perfect as the characters i come up with. I use writing/drawing as a way to cope and he is right. I do wish i could be that perfect. That confident. Normal but im not. I'm a fuck up. He made that clear. He made sure to let me know that I will never be as good. That i don't have the gene that's been passed down through generations. That maybe if my brother and sister were alive, they would have done it better. They died at birth. So not only am i a mistake and second choice. I am a fuck up entirely. OOP MADE A NEW UPDATE AFTER THE BORU WAS POSTED Update 2 Oct 17, 2023 Hello all. Thank you for all your love and comments. The boost of confidence from that alone was phenomenal. I worked up enough courage and did what needed to be done with the help of my aunt. She was more than happy to help and end it. She is also looking into making me rightfully hers and I couldn't be more grateful. We made him a gift basket with a note since he loves to read what i write so much and won't bother listening in person. "Dear Dad Since you like my writing so much I decided to take the time and spell this out for you. This basket contains many options to help you. I've noticed your body has lost it's good shape and is honestly just not pleasing to look at. So I have included many workout pamphlets and personal trainer contacts to help you with that. One in particular will surely help you with that stomach of yours. I can only imagine your frustration having a daughter that is fitter than her father. Since you clearly love taking your frustrations out on me I highly recommend reading through the therapist contacts I have included in this basket. I will advise you to let mom seek out these therapists too as her backbone is non existent and she lets awful men walk all over her. I can't imagine what the death of my brother and sister did to her and to you. Not having the chance to even pass down the gene that you love so much. Fun fact: 50-55kgs for a woman that is 5'3 is healthy if not bordering on being underweight. However. 100-108kgs for a man in his 50's and is just scraping 5'5 is concerningly overweight. I would suggest taking care of that. I would hate for someone to start mocking you about it. It is very unpleasant. Now all pleasantries aside, this will be the last time you hear from me. This will be the last time I call you mom and dad. Since I have all of my documents, I no longer need to converse with you. Your names have been taken off the guest list for my 21st that you so graciously refused to help pay for. If you do show up I will have police escort you off the premises. If you show up at my new house or merely follow me to the store, it will result in the police being called. If you continue this behavior I will file a restraining order against both of you. If you would like a reason for this you will have to find it yourself. It is quite obvious but since you are so focused on damaging me into submission i fear you will never understand. That is not my problem. Yes you did bring me into this world but you are not my parents. I have a family and you will never be a part of it. Please do take my advice and seek help. This is not a joke dad Yours truly" I know that the note was rushed and short but it was all i was capable of writing. My aunts phone has been blowing up but she has ignored and blocked their numbers. She has even made sure to let the rest of our family know what has happened and why. As far as I know, they have been getting berated and disowned. I can't help but feel a little bit of pride. I am going to seek a therapist once we've finished moving. Thank you all. Really. If I didn't come to reddit for help I don't know what I would've done. It feels as if a big weight has been taken off of me and I can finally breath. Hugs to you all ~Tofu To the people who have bombarded my dms saying that this is fake. Please my dears I wish it was. * THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Hot_Relation899 OOP has since deleted her account I stalked my husband for two years before I formally met him Originally posted to r/offmychest Original Post June 30, 2023 I (24F) married my husband (28M) about a year and a half ago. The first time I saw my husband I was a freshman in high school, he was a freshman in college. He was walking his dog at the park, when he stopped to talk to my brother (27M) because they happened to go to high school together. That was the moment I became hooked. That same day I found his Instagram, his family’s social media, and also where he lived since my brother offered to walk him home while I tagged along. When I got home that day I knew I wanted him, but of course I was only 14 while he was 18, so I came up with a plan. I found out his younger brother was only one year younger than me and would be attending my current high school. I figured that I had to befriend his younger brother by any means possible next year when he moves up as a freshman while I become a sophomore, and I did. It took around halfway of my junior year where we became best friends and he invited me over regularly to his house to hangout, this is where I was able to befriend my current husband’s mom, and god did she love to talk about him. From her, I found out what college he goes to, his past girlfriends, what his elementary/middle school was, his favorite/least favorite foods, his pet peeves, what he likes, etc etc. Eventually when my visits started getting more and more frequent, I formally met current husband again. Current husband, I’ll call him E, would come over every other week and stay for either Friday-Sunday, or Saturday to Sunday. On those days specifically I would wear my cutest outfits to impress him, and also joke around with him a lot. Eventually I befriended him as well. A little background on E, he is the school record holder for a certain sport at my school, which I just so happened to do. And around halfway through my senior year E came back during the season to help coach the current high school athletes, which included me, in order to get some more volunteer work hours in, and I got to spend a lot more time with him. I loved every second of it. We were friends before, but then we became much closer since I got to spend lots of extra time with him after school, where sometimes he would even drive me home since we lived relatively close. Fast forward to when I had to move away to NYC for college, E moved with me since he coincidentally got a job near my college. (Edit: I lied, it wasn’t a coincidence. I found out he got a job offer and applied to a college nearby his workplace) Being eachothers only friends in a new state, we became incredibly close. We started dating when I was almost a sophomore year of college, he proposed to me after I graduated, and we just got married almost a year ago. He knows absolutely nothing about how I truly know him, and believes it is fate that brought us together through his younger brother. Lately I have been debating on whether or not I should tell him, or at least his younger brother the truth, since the only reason I befriended him was to get closer to E. I feel guilty every time he tells others our love story, because the truth is, I’ve known him for 10 years, while he’s only known me for about 7. UPDATE: I read a reply saying that the best thing for MYSELF is to keep it a secret, which is what a lot of people are saying, but the best thing for HIM is to tell him, and I figured that person really is right. I will be telling him this Tuesday on his day off, he deserves to know who he married. Update July 6, 2023 I told him this fourth of July. After the fireworks mostly ended and we were heading back, I asked him in the car, "Wouldn't it have been weird if we met each other before the first time we actually met? But we just didn't think of each other as significant at the time?" He smiled and turned to me saying, "Pfft, that's impossible. There's no universe where we would have met and I would not think of you as significant." That statement struck me in the heart, because I knew I would soon prove that sentence VERY wrong, but i continued on with my plan anyway. "What if I told you we have met each other before? Before that time I was introduced as 'E's little brother's friend'?" He looked at me like I was crazy, so that's when I pulled over on the side of the road and pulled out my phone to show him the post I put up here before, that explained everything. He took about 8 minutes to read the whole thing, and when he finished he put the phone down and stared straight ahead, almost like he was dumbfounded, scared, and confused all at the same time. I started throwing out every excuse and apology I could muster at the moment for about 15 minutes straight when he decided to tell me to stop, and I did. Then he just sat there and sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes before he finally asked me how much of our relationship, and how much of my identity, was fabricated according to his liking, I told him the honest truth, none of my personality or identity was fabricated for him, accept for the fact of how we met. The only thing I ever changed about myself to make him like me more was lying about liking Chinese food, I hate Chinese food. But other than that everything else was real. Although my friendship with his younger brother was built upon ill intentions, my friendship between his brother and I are now one of the most genuine friendships I have now. He just cried and told me that he does not want to divorce at all, but he does want us to have some time apart so that he could absorb the truth that I gave him. He also said that he expects me to tell his brother and mom this Friday because they deserve to know the truth just as much as he did. I told him okay, and we drove the rest of the ride home in silence. When we got home he hugged me and cried for about 5 minutes before he got out the car, packed his stuff, and said that he will be staying at a nearby hotel for now. He said that he knows that he still loves me, but does not yet know how to react to the fact that the beginning of our relationship was very, very orchestrated. To sum it all up, I guess telling him was a success? I honestly don't know. He sent me a goodnight and I love you text last night while he was at the hotel, so I guess he's noy as much mad as he may be betrayed? UPDATE 2: Woke up this morning to find out that "hubby" not only lied about going to a hotel to stay at, but also lied about not wanting a divorce, through a text message. He went to his family's home, not a fuvking hotel. Told them the entire story himself, probably exaggerated it too to make me seem crazy. His whole family wants nothing to do with me too, claims I'm psycho. He said that he lied about going to a hotel, because he knew if he told the truth I would try to stop him? Honestly I feel so betrayed. I tried to be a good wife by showing him the true me, and this is what he does? I did all this work just for it to end up like this? Honestly, I kind of deserve it. I didn't even tell him in the first place because I felt bad, I told him because I had a suspicion that he was catching on to the fact that I knew him for two and a half years before he knew me, largely because I found out he was keeping my old phone in his work desk. My old phone that has screenshots of a lot of his old instagram posts, plans in my notes app about him, etc. So I guess he never truly loved me if he can't even get past an honest confession like this one. I might update this in a few years when I find a new husband lol. THIS IS A REPOST SUB I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Originally posted by u/cdcaughtthrowaway in r/tifu on Jan 11, 2015, updated Jan 12, 2015, and Jan 13, 2015. Original post TIFU and possibily outed myself as a crossdresser to my family The backstory I was first exposed to crossdressing when I was about 8. I was watching an episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody on Disney Channel and the premise of the episode of one of the twins crossdressing to enter a beauty pageant. At the time, I was mildly intrigued. A boy in girls clothes? Crazy! I was a bit interested, and asked my mom if I could be a princess for Halloween. She nipped that idea at the bud, and I went as a Power Ranger that year. Then along came one summer day when I was 12. I was home alone and watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU. The episode featured a transwoman who was accused of murdering a man in cold blood who was about to out her. Again, I thought "hm, guy in girl's clothes." Seeing as nobody else was home, I went upstairs to my sister's room and tried on one of her dresses and her fishnet tights over my boxers. I hung around like that for a little bit, before eventually changing back to guy clothes before my parents came home. From ages 12-14, I crossdressed in my sister's stuff whenever I could. Whenever my parents and sister were out, the pants would come off and the comfy dresses would come on. I stole a wig from a friend when I was 13, and kept dressing until a near-discovery by my parents when I was 14. My mom almost sent me to bible camp over that. At that point, I tossed my wig and any other paraphernalia I had, and swore off crossdressing. Of course, as one would imagine, all this crossdressing affected my growing young teenage mind. I was confused about gender, sexuality, whatnot. I read all about it on the internet whenever I could, went through a gender identity crisis at about 14 1/2, but then eventually came to the conclusion that I am a straight male who just so happens to like crossdressing and being pretty. Age 16, sister goes off to college. I get a car, parents work more hours, find myself in an empty house more often than usual. One night, while flipping through some channels, I find myself on RuPaul's Drag Race on the LOGO channel. You can guess where it went from here. But there was a problem: I had hit a growth spurt at age 15 and grew to about 5'10, while my sister stayed at 5'2, so my legs were muuuuuch longer while remaining skinny. So now, every dress she owned turned into a top. Great. So as I did years ago, I went to the internet. Let me tell you something: Amazon gift cards in my hands last about as long as Kenny Powers lasted that time he came in his pants while making out with April. Thanks to the helpful wiki I found on /r/crossdressing and the fantastic inventions known as Amazon Lockers, I began to accumulate a feminine wardrobe that would rival that of most cis girls. I kept all my clothes hidden in a locked trunk in my closet, and before long I had amassed a collection of wigs, makeup, skirts, dresses, shorts, tops, tights, hell even shoes. Fast forward to today, aka, the Day the House Stood Still. Today, when I fucked up Today, my sister was working almost all day and my parents were coming home from a weekend trip to Boston. They expected to be home at about 8:30, which was about the time my sister would be coming home from work. I calculated in my head that I had like all day to enjoy dressed. I went through my usual dressing routine: bath, shave (everywhere), panties, bra, dress, makeup, wig. After getting sufficiently pretty, I did what I do every other time I get dressed up: hung around my house for hours, watched football, played video games, browsed Reddit. Didn't go out (I pass with relative ease, but I'm way too paranoid about being caught.) So, at about 7:00 I went through the de-beautification process, putting away all of my items. Or so I thought. 8:30 rolls around, sister comes home first, sits down on couch next to me. She comments "cdcaughtthrowaway, your eyes look a bit darker than usual." I instantly think shit, I probably did a bad job removing my makeup. I wait for a followup comment, but it never comes, so I assumed that maybe she just didn't suspect anything. Parents come home a few minutes later, mom goes upstairs to use the bathroom. A couple minutes later, my mom comes downstairs and says to my sister "God dammit cdcaughtthrowawaysister, I really wish you'd stop leaving your makeup out. I almost knocked your expensive lipstick into the toilet. And stop leaving your underwear on the floor of the bathroom." My sister looks at my mom with a "what the hell you talkin bout" expression on her face and says "um, I don't remember leaving any lipstick on the bathroom counter." My dad retreats to his den, knowing that a fight's about to go down. I slyly attempt to slip out of the living room, but before I can make it upstairs my mom and sister go up to the bathroom. So I follow behind, and go into my room. That's the last time I saw them. My mom is not exactly...the most accepting person when it comes to gender and sexuality and stuff like that. I'm pretty certain that by this point she's figured something out, since she's stopped yelling at my sister and is now just yelling in general. It's nearly two hours later and my dad has knocked on my door twice, asking me to come outside and talk for a little bit (I guess he emerged from his den). I'm just pretending to be asleep. My plan tomorrow is to wake up extra early, drive to school extra early, and not come home until like forever. I guess I kind of wrote this long post in the likely event that I need to explain myself to them. At least now I have a general idea of what I have to say. Bit of a cathartic release too. tl;dr: left out my lipstick and dirty panties, parents might have figured out I'm a crossdresser EDIT: my mom is working late, so I'll likely be able to talk to my dad alone. I have a feeling he'll be more understanding. Will probably update later 1st Update The Next Day A couple of people asked for updates, so I guess I'll do it. So I left for school early today and hung around in the library. I couldn't face my parents yet. I needed some time to put together something to say, first to my dad and second to my mom. During the day, I got a text from my sister, and she asked if those panties really were mine. I initially thought maybe this is my chance to cop out, blame it on some make-believe female visitor I had yesterday. But hey, honesty is the best policy, right? So I said yes, and told her I'm a crossdresser. Her response was UNBELIEVABLY nice. She says that it's okay, and she'll support me no matter what mom and dad might think. Whew. I had sports after school, so I didn't get home until about 6. I felt a knot in my stomach forming when I saw just my dad's car in the driveway. I guess I'll be going at it solo this round. I took a deep breath, and walked through the door. I found my dad sitting in the living room, two beers sitting on the coffee table. "Sit down." he said, motioning to the loveseat adjacent to the sofa he was sitting on. I sat down. He took a long gulp of beer and shut off the TV. He looked at me for a few seconds before saying "So were those yours? Last night?" Here it goes. Moment of truth. "Yes," I calmly said. I started to get into my spiel about seeing the Suite Life of Zack and Cody episode, the Law and Order thing, the princess Halloween costume. He stopped me. He asked me "Are you transgendered? Because I heard about that girl who killed herself and-" "No," I said, cutting him off. "Straight. Guy. Just like to get...dressed sometimes." I gulped. He took another drink, looked at me, and leaned forward. "Listen, son. I'm not bothered by this little hobby of yours. You're not hurting anyone by the looks of it. You're still my son, I still love you, and you have my 100% support. But you need to know that not everyone is like me. Some people might not like it, or be ignorant of it, or just generally not understand it, kind of like your mother. Now, explaining this to her is not going to be easy. But just know that I'm on your side and I'll love you no matter what." Then he came over and gave me a hug. I choked back some tears. Wow. I felt a weight come off my shoulders. That went about as perfectly as it possibly could've. After we broke the hug, we discussed how we should talk with my mother later tonight when she comes to work. I kinda had the idea to talk with her while fully dressed up, but I have a feeling that would make her just more irrationally angry. Anyway, now I'm just sitting in my room, waiting for her to come home. When that happens, my dad and I will sit down with her and try to talk some sense into her. tl;dr: Talked to Dad about my crossdressing, he's fine with it, Mom coming home later tonight, THAT is the real challenge. EDIT: well...I have quite the update to give when I come home tonight... Final Update HA. Didn't spell possibly wrong in the title like I did my last two posts. Anyway, here it is, the finale. When we left off, my dad had just told me that my crossdressing is totally fine and he supports me 100%. Whew. Now comes the hard part: telling my mom. She got home from work at about 10. She didn't go upstairs, so I assumed that she was either sitting at the kitchen table or in the living room. I was upstairs, and my dad was in the master bedroom. I gave him a two knock signal to tell him that it was time. We went down the stairs, him first, then me. We walked into the living room and I sat down on the loveseat, with my dad leaning on the wall facing my mother, who was seated on the couch. I looked my mom in the eyes, and hers darted down to the carpet. The silence was ubiquitous, and I felt a knot similar to the knot I felt when I told my dad, but this one was larger, too large to express. We sat for what felt like hours, until I eventually decided it was time to break the silence. I inhaled to begin my discourse, only to be interrupted by a sob. Almost in an instant, she was full on crying, tears flowing down her cheeks and soft sniffles coming out every few seconds. "I'm so sorry." She choked out in between snuffles. "You probably hate my right now." wuuuuuuuuuut. "I should've known when you wanted to wear that princess costume when you were younger, or when we saw that makeup transformation video on your computer a few years ago." She sniffled again. "I should've known when I saw that edition of TIME with Laverne Cox on the cover. I should've known all these years. But I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. But I've slept on it, and I realized on my drive home that very soon you're going to be an adult and you'll be able to do whatever you please, and I shouldn't interfere with your happiness. So I want you to know, that if you want to have the surgery I will help you and pay for it." I froze up. She thinks I'm trans? That's what she thought? wheewwwwww I sat down on the couch next to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Mom," I said, "I'm glad that you think that. But I'm not changing my gender or anything." She looked up at me. "You're not? But then why else did I find those panties? Were those even yours?" "Yes." I said. "Yes, they're mine." Then I began what I wanted to say before, which was basically the same thing I told my dad. When I was finished, I let go of her and sat down on the loveseat. It must've taken her a few minutes to process the information, and she sat for a little bit before finally asking "So if you're straight and you don't want to be a girl, why do you wear women's clothing?" I gave the honest to God answer: "I don't know. I just kind of do. When I dress I just...feel like all stress is gone. I can relax for however long I'm dressed. And something about being all dolled up is just...comforting. It's just...I don't know." I said. Her sobbing had stopped and she seemed to have regained her composure. "Look, cdcaughtthrowaway. I love you, more than anything in this world. You know that when you're unhappy, I'm unhappy, and ultimately all that I ever do is for you and your sister. Above all, I want you to be happy, no matter what. This hobby of yours obviously means a lot to you, and because of that, I'll have to learn to accept it. Understand that this is new to me, and it won't happen overnight. It'll take some getting used to for me. You'll always be my son, whether you're wearing a dress or wearing pants." She said. She then came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and hugged me in close. My dad soon joined and wrapped both of us in his arms. I exhaled for the first time since the night before when those damn lacy panties had been found on the bathroom floor. After my mom broke the hug, she smiled and said "Alright then...I guess this will get some getting used to. So how about you get dressed now...just so I don't get surprised one day and think you're some robber." she winked. *Wow. What in the heck. I thought this would be a lot harder, with a lot more yelling. But not only is she supportive, but she wants me to see what I look like dressed? * Well, I simply couldn't pass this opportunity up. For the first time ever, I would be sharing this very personal thing with my family. And I felt great as I walked up the stairs to my room. Finally, I wasn't sprinting up these stairs to try to get every second of dressing time I could possibly get. I went to my closet and opened up the trunk I had kept locked and hidden for so long. I took out my cosmetic bag and went to the half bookshelf with the mirror above it. I cleared all the little knickknacks on there, replacing them with my lipstick tubes, and my brushes, and my makeup palettes, and finally my brunette wig on its Styrofoam head. I went to my closet, clearing out half of the rod which held some clothes that I had outgrown. I took them off their hangers and started hanging, hanging dresses, skirts, tank tops, anything I could. I went to my underwear drawer and made some space, finally having a permanent place to keep my bras and panties. I set the black flats and brown ankle boots next to my Jordans and my track sneakers. I looked at the empty trunk with satisfaction. Now it was time to go to work: boy clothes came off, panties and bra came on. A grey sweater dress(one of the more conservative pieces of attire that I owned) went over my underwear, and the outfit was finished off with my black flats. I didn't have to rush on my makeup, and finally took some time to be careful with my eyeliner pencil and not haphazardly smear lipstick on. I brushed my wig-hair out and let it fall down my back. I was ready. It was time. I sauntered down the stairs. Not a sprint, not in a rush. I took one final look in the mirror in the hallway leading to the living room. I straightened my wig, and before I took my final step into the room, I let out an exhale. A final, cathartic exhale. An exhale from a breath I had been holding since I was 8, since that damn episode of Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I stepped into the living room. tl;dr: Talked to my mom, she at first thought I was trans, was willing to support me regardless, it might be a rough road as she learns to accept me, but at least it'll be less bumpy than I had previously thought. One big happy family again :) Just writing these three posts has helped me so much. I don't think I would've been able to keep myself bottled up so much longer. I want to take this time to thank all of you who have supported me, sent me encouraging comments and PMs, and in general been encouraging throughout the past two days. Your words have helped take some of the anxiety away from the whole situation. Thanks for being great to me Reddit. EDIT: I initially didn't want to edit this post, but I'll do it to maybe clear up some things: yes, I know, it might sound fake. I was a bit hesitant about posting because I knew it would come off as just a bunch of cliches, but I guess all I can do is say that it's the truth, (almost) exactly as it happened. I'm only as good as my word, which isn't much on the internet, but have a little faith in me. -I'm sorry, but I'm not going to post pics. I'm just not comfortable with sharing that side of me with the internet. Yet. Maybe one day you'll find me over on /r/crossdressing or something, but not now. And I'm also afraid of someone from my school finding out Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost. submitted by /u/KittenDealinMama to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My fiance (M27) and I (F27) are getting married in early April. We are planning a big wedding with the help of both of our parents' financing. We invited all of our friends and family, including our siblings and their kids. My fiance and I are very excited for our wedding. When it comes to the dress code, me and my fiance are very laid back, we just want people to dress up in either a suit, dress or something else “fancy”. We couldn't care less about the color or design and actually encourage our guests to dress creatively, colorfully or over the top. Me and my fiance are both creative people, I’m an art teacher and he works in advertising. We want people to express themselves and while we are okay with traditional color wedding outfits, we only want them being worn if it is truly something our guests like. I have many siblings, and many nieces and nephews. My oldest sister and her husband (F40 and M40) have 6 kids (F15, M14, M13, F11, M7, and F3). I still live close to all of my siblings, so me and my fiance have a close relationship with them and know they are excited for our wedding. My 13 year old nephew is a good kid, has great grades and is the athlete of the family. As with most middle school boys, dressing up in a suit isn’t exactly his favorite thing to do, and about a month ago, my sister called me telling me he was giving them issues when suit shopping, I sat down with him and had a talk to see if everything was ok, he said he didn’t like anything he saw, and I told him to ask his friends for advice. About a week after, I got a text from my nephew asking what he thought of his outfit idea, he wanted to go with a sports theme, he wanted to wear a normal dress shirt and pants, but for his blazer have his favorite NFL team on it, a lacrosse tie and baseball cufflinks. He found all of this online and sent links. He told us his mom said no and then asked my opinion on it, I showed it to my fiance and we both agreed it was acceptable and we would love to see him in it if that’s what made him happy. A few hours later, I got a call from my sister asking why I would approve it after she said no and complained about how the outfit could “reflect on her”” and how my nephew needed to learn “proper wedding attire”. I asked her and my nephew out to lunch the next day so we could settle it out. We went out to lunch and my nephew and sister was explaining how his friends recommended it and how he wanted to express his love for sports, after explaining to him that this isn’t normal wedding attire, but fiance and I wanted people to be creative, my sister agreed to buy it, and just got all the stuff in the mail and he loves it. My sister is still upset at me for trying to “overrule” her parenting, and when talking to one of our other siblings (M38) he agreed with her that I overstepped my boundaries. Fiance and I are just happy nephew found a nice outfit he likes. AITA? submitted by /u/trincolls to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am not the OP; that would happen to be u/throwramatz (Long post warning) My(m23) fiancé's(f22) grandpa's retirement party is making me reconsider our future We met in high school and started dating following graduation, but her (Jane) recent stand on the matter has me concerned. Jane's grandpa (David) "retired" a few years ago but went back to work because he became bored. Her mother (Ari) said that it "wasn't a real retirement" because he was unable to do the physical work and needed to find something more manageable for his age. He worked for a moving company before transitioning into an office job, and he's retiring again after a few years there. Jane's parents are also very religious, and that is important for context. It is also another reason why we prioritized moving out sooner, and she's been living with me since graduating high school. I work full-time and attend school part-time online, and she worked full-time because she wanted to get out Her parents were very strict about purity and put a lot of wrong things in her mind. From controlling how she dressed (no dresses/skirts/footwear without socks/certain bathing suits and always swim shoes) to friends she was allowed to have, she often vented to me, and I tried my best to be there. She also used to self-harm and told me shortly after graduation, and learning to accept herself and wear things as an adult has been a process. There's a lot more, but I think that's enough. She found a therapist that works with her insurance and has helped make strides over the past few years. She went no-contact with her parents for a few years until they reached out and wanted to apologize, and she decided to hear them out some time back. They told her that they changed and pointed to her sister (Grace, fourteen) who was put in sports that she wasn't allowed to do, and Jane said she was happy to see her doing well. They also showed her photos of things that she had missed, and they didn't police Grace's clothing as they previously had Jane was happy to mend bridges after the meeting, and her therapist was there every step of the way. Jane also seemed happier and got to spend time with Grace again. But when it came to grandpa's party, they wanted her to help arrange, and that is where we began to have issues. I don't know what changed in the philosophy of her parents, but they've done a 180 on their purity ideals which I commend, but not with the party. Grace has attended a local circus school for a few years, and she had apparently wanted one of those rigs to hang her hoop from in the backyard for more practice. Apparently those rigs can run expensive, and Ari purchased one for her this summer that was around a thousand dollars. Why is this an issue? Ari wants Grace to perform using the rig at the party in the backyard, and she wants her to wear a costume that she doesn't feel comfortable wearing. It's a two-piece costume that she showed Jane and told her that she was nervous about performing too. Aside from the costume, there was a recent recital at her studio where she was supposed to perform, but she became anxious and ended up not performing. She wanted the rig so she could practice in the backyard because she was shy, but Ari wasn't giving her a choice and her father agreed with her too Ari told her that she was "expected to perform" after all the money they put out for the rig because it "was the only way to overcome stage fright" (they never mentioned strings attached when they purchased it). She also threatened to return it if she didn't perform, and she already put it in the planner too. Ari was also upset because of the class she paid for that culminated with the recital that she considered a "waste". But pushing her to perform when she's not ready isn't right and something Jane disagreed with me on. When I asked her why she felt that way, she said Grace "should be grateful" after she wasn't allowed to do sports/wear much at all growing up, and I was surprised because she's never been a resentful person. She also said she supported Ari entirely and that she "should threaten to return it" to push her to perform. She went on about how she "would've loved to have the chance" to have the freedom that Grace was allowed to have, and she is still in therapy too The only person I've talked to about it is my mom who said that there is some jealousy that needs to be addressed. When I told Jane that I disagreed with her stance, she said she "wished Grace would cut herself" to "know what it feels like" because she "had it easier than her". She also called me an "enabler" for supporting Grace's concerns and that I'd "be a terrible father" who "never pushed their children". She wasn't like this before the party/reconnecting with her parents, and I told her that reconnecting was her choice between her and her therapist. I also told her that I'm considering talking to her parents on Grace's behalf, but she said we'd "be done" if I did that because I'd be "taking her parent's side". I believe in standing up for Grace because she may have no one else capable. But my dad said I should "drop it" and "not choose Grace over my fiancé" (mom disagrees), but I disagree with him. Jane has changed since reconnecting with her parents, and I believe her ultimatum shows she's likely done with us. I want to help Grace by talking to her parents, but I want to ask if there's a better way to help her before I do that because my connection to her family may soon be over given her ultimatum (Update) My(m23) fiancé's(f22) grandpa's retirement party is making me reconsider our future I mentioned that both of my parents had conflicting opinions. Dad said I was crazy to choose my fiancé's sister (Grace) over my fiancé who I knew since high school, but mom disagreed and said I was right to look out for Grace even if I wasn't family yet because it would "set a precedent". My fiancé (Jane) has been in no-contact with her parents since high school graduation and moving out with me. Her parents were very religious, policed her clothing and friends to where she couldn't wear dresses or skirts or even shoes without socks such as sandals, and she used to harm herself too. She began working full-time (since moving out), got into therapy and began to slowly do some of those things over time. But since reestablishing contact with her parents, she became jealous and wishing bad things on her younger sister who's been allowed to wear things she wasn't When I said that her parents were wrong to force Grace (her younger sister who's still in high school) to wear an outfit she wasn't comfortable wearing at her grandpa's retirement party, she gave me an ultimatum and said that I was "taking her parent's side over hers" (about how they allowed Grace to do/wear more than she could growing up) and that we'd be done if I did that. Long story short, Grace was allowed to do sports that Jane wasn't and took classes in a local circus school. She had a recital where she was supposed to perform, but couldn't last minute because she became nervous. Her parents purchased her an aerial rig for the backyard that cost almost a thousand so that she could practice at home (because she was shy), but they threatened to return it after telling her that she "had to perform" at grandpa's party to overcome her fear, and they never mentioned anything about strings attached My mom said that she was "likely done" with the relationship if she was at the point of giving me an ultimatum. Jane said Grace "should be grateful to do sports/wear things she wasn't allowed to growing up" and that she "wished she cut herself". She's still in therapy, but I don't regret telling her that it was her choice entirely to reconnect after her parents apologized (after a few years of no-contact). But since then, she's become slowly bitter. Dad said it "wasn't my business". But Jane said she "had no intentions of going no-contact again" when we talked and that it "was up to Grace to change". Since we were engaged, I felt as if it was my business because I'd be marrying into her family. But most importantly, Grace had no one to stand up for her. So with Jane likely done, I called Ari (since she was the main planner of the party) after our second conversation and asked if I could come over to talk. They said that I couldn't and that we'd "talk on the phone", and I figured that Jane likely told them I might call I told her it was dangerous to push someone to perform when they weren't ready because of potential anxiety, and I also told them that forcing Grace to wear something she wasn't comfortable in was a bad idea too. Ari said it "was their money" and that "it was the only one that she would grow". She also mentioned how I was "arguing" with Jane and that she had told them about it. She told me to mind my own business, and that was pretty much how it went. Jane also talked to me when she returned from work and said that she was going to stay with her parents after Ari told her about our conversation. She said she would return to get her things with her dad and that she was "done with me for taking their side" She stayed with them yesterday and hasn't returned for their things yet, and mom said that it was for the best because "that was the family I'd be marrying into" and "because some people are unable to remove their parents from their lives". I just wish I could've done more to help Grace because her parents really did a number on both of them, but I've been blocked on social media by Jane and likely have no connection with her parents anymore. Mom said she'd help with how to cancel the wedding, but dad said that I should "do it on my own" because he disagrees, but mom is still helping. A lot of this post was to vent because part of me feels upset at Jane's parents while another feels disappointed in Jane's change. She was doing better until reestablishing contact, but the hardest part is my parents arguing over helping me because dad keeps saying I've "done it to myself" and will "regret it forever, and that hurts a lot too. If I can ask for advice on how to work through this with my mom, I'd appreciate that the most because she's always been there and she's hurting too submitted by /u/throwraparties2 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the OP, this is a repost. Original post by u/elmuchocapitano. ORIGINAL: My [24F] mum [54F] has not seen my dad [52F] since their messy divorce, nor met the other woman/his new wife [42F]. Looking for advice on how to navigate my upcoming graduation, which they are all attending, and where they will meet my boyfriend's [23M] parents [54F, 60M] for the first time. - Posted 4 years ago I highly, highly doubt that my family uses reddit so I won't bother using a throwaway. It was hard to get a title for this as this isn't even really just about my parents but about all the conflicting connections that will be happening at my graduation coming up in three weeks, hence the length of the post. I'm looking for any advice on how tensions might bubble, how I can diffuse those situations and anything I can do to prevent it! Congrats if you make it all the way through. To give you an idea of the set-up for this shitshow: I live in a city several hours away from any of my family members so there will be some people staying at my house and some people staying at hotels in the area. My dad and his new wife, my paternal grandma, my cousin and aunt on my dad's side, my mom, my two siblings, my boyfriend's parents, two of my parents' friends from university (one was my dad's friend and one was my mom's friend and they got married to each other), and some of my close friends will all be attending various events at my house, at a restaurant, and at my university. The actual ceremony will be my boyfriend, mom, and dad sitting with each other while I cross the stage. I have a very large extended family on my dad's side so there might be even more people than that. I live in a tourist town so there's lots for people to do when they're not with me. Firstly, there's my mom and dad's relationship with my dad's family. My parents met in Ontario, where my mom is from, and shortly after I was born they moved to BC, where my dad is from. My dad started cheating on my mom with Heather, who is actually from Ontario (Heather's kids were actually born in the same hospital as me). Her husband moved them back out there when he found out about the affair. My dad just started flying out to Ontario to cheat. Then Heather officially got divorced, my parents officially got divorced, and he moved out there permanently. So basically now my mom is out here in BC with all my dad's family and my dad is out there with all her family. Everyone pretty much chose my mom's side in the divorce but since my dad didn't live in the province anymore and she had custody of us, it was an easy choice. Holidays are always spent with my mum, siblings and dad's side of the family. My nana still refers to me mum as her daughter in law. We have a family reunion every year and sometimes my mom goes and sometimes my dad goes, but never at the same time. Their university friends that are now married to each other have seen both of them but also at separate times. So I'm not sure how anyone will act when everyone is all together. On the one hand, everyone generally supports my mom, but on the other hand people rarely get to see my dad since he only flies out every few years. Thinking emoji... Then there's my parents' relationship with each other. Suffice to say, it's not good. They literally only spoke over e-mail after their separation because my dad would just scream at her over the phone. He withheld child support from her, he has always loudly complained about having to pay her alimony, and now that we are grown they still don't speak. It was not clean and they still regularly complain about each other to me and my siblings. My relationship with D/H is also not the best. I actually spent the last two years of highschool living with my dad in Ontario. Without getting into too much detail, they are both shit parents. I moved back to BC when I turned 18 and didn't speak to either of them for years. My family pressured me very heavily to reconnect with him which I did do when I was ready. Heather never spoke to me again, which I was fine with. I send them both Christmas gifts and I'm polite when I see her, and vice versa, but we don't talk. Over the past few years though I've been rebuilding a relationship with my dad, so it's important to me that he can come to this. I've set firm boundaries with him, try not to expect a lot, and it feels much better for me than when we weren't talking at all. Family ties are hugely important in my familial culture so I'm not considering uninviting him. There's also how my dad and Heather act. They are both heavy drinkers, which fuels a lot of their inappropriate behaviour. They want to be the centre of attention, they are inappropriately sexual with each other, they bring up uncomfortable topics and they don't mind causing drama. My dad often gets really aggressive if Heather isn't "included" enough in something, and he literally never does anything without her. If she wasn't invited to my wedding, he wouldn't attend. So she's sort of a necessary evil. She's significantly younger than him and dresses even younger than that, which I feel might be threatening to my mom. She's definitely going to be dressed to the nines and probably wearing something inappropriate for a graduation. At this point the plane tickets have already been purchased, so while I would rather she wasn't there at all, I can't really uninvite her now. Finally, there's my boyfriend's parents. To add a final layer of complexity, my boyfriend's family is also going to be coming down and meeting my family for the first time. I could make an entire post just about my worries about my families meeting each other. My boyfriend's dad really needs to be the centre of attention as well, and gets very emotional when things don't go his way. He's one of those types where he's always sick and always has to one-up you about the hardships of his life. My own family is the opposite, if you try to say anything about being sick or having bad luck you typically get viciously made fun of (all in good sport though) for feeling sorry for yourself and not being grateful for what you have. While at his own house, his family caters to his every whim. If he gets angry because the eggs aren't cooked the way he likes, everyone becomes silent. In my family if you insult a woman's cooking she'll probably tell you to eat shit and die. They're also very high-class rich people whereas my family is a bunch of poor rednecks. So pretty much I'm starting to feel like I've got the perfect storm brewing here, and that there's definitely going to be some drama, one way or another. I have no idea how I'm going to handle it yet. Right now I'm trying to do things like invite lots of neutral third parties like my friends, plan a killer outfit for my mom to wear when she meets Heather, and plan stuff for us to do that everyone will enjoy and will be occupied with. I had tried to get my mom to meet my boyfriend's parents before next month so that she wouldn't have to navigate two uncomfortable situations at once but it didn't materialize in time. Tl;dr: My dad and mom had a really, really bad divorce, after which he moved across the country and got remarried. They haven't spoken since. My dad married the woman he cheated on my mom with, whom my mom has never met. In three weeks I'm about to graduate and they are all coming out for it. Also attending will be my boyfriend's parents, who my family will be meeting for the first time. Everyone will be coming to my city, hanging out around my apartment, and attending the same events. HALP! ••• UPDATE - Posted 3 years ago Title editorialized because it was so long to begin with. Original post here. It didn't get a lot of traction but I was asked for an update, so here it is. I write nothing but novellas. I know a lot of people wanted me to call out my dad or uninvite him entirely, or basically somehow see him get what he "deserves". Fair enough. I felt the same way for most of my life. But I can tell you from experience that taking the scorched earth route comes with a whole lot of negatives for me and my family, including my mom. Since my mom's family is basically also my dad's family, trust me, it's so much nicer for all of us when we just don't rock that boat. And frankly, their marriage and their parenting relationship is really not my business and definitely not my responsibility. The advice I appreciated the most and ultimately ended up following was from u/punfull who said something along the lines of: You are a bubble floating through the breeze. You are completely unaware of any undertones or subtext or sarcasm or snottiness. You are not available for venting. You are not the mediator. It was such great advice that I told it to my mom, and advised that we all follow it. While punfull recommended that me and my boyfriend be the inner bubble, it ended up actually being me and my mom. Nothing went exactly to plan, of course. For one, it turned out that my graduation tickets were indeed assigned seating, so my mom, dad and boyfriend were indeed forced to sit right next to each other, right in the front so I could watch it happen from the stage. My boyfriend's dad was unexpectedly very sick and had to cancel on dinner, so we ended up having to schedule an additional event with less friends and even more mom-dad face time. At first my parents asked which one of them should be there, and I said to both of them, "You are both invited, and I would love it if you both could come. I trust that you guys will be able to figure it out." My dad strongly hinted that he might not want to come to dinner after all. I'm in a bubble I'm in a bubble I'm in a bubble. As expected, my Dad and his wife were somewhat obnoxious. They rented an insanely expensive car, he talked a lot about how successful they are and how much money they make/spend, he wore an expensive patterned suit when I told him to dress casually, they drank a fair bit, he paid for everything even when my mom offered just to make a point of it, and he generally tried to steal the show when possible. They got me a really gaudy graduation present that was very expensive but not really in my taste. He made a bunch of off-colour comments, etc. However, that said, everyone did show up to everything, and nothing terrible happened. Everyone followed their directions to distract my dad and support my mom. My boyfriend's parents spent all of their time engaging my mom, despite my dad's best efforts to pull them away. As expected, my boyfriend's dad spent basically the entire time telling sob stories, but my family dutifully smiled and nodded and only minorly made fun of him. Bf's dad was busy having fun putting two and two together insofar as where my personality comes from (i.e., I am Nana 2.0). My Nana kept repeating to everyone that we were 100% Team Mom. My friends kept everyone occupied so I could relax. My mom handled everything like a champ. Eventually she even walked right up to Heather super confidently and introduced herself saying, "Hello, it's so awkward to finally meet you." Heather practically had word vomit after that which was pretty satisfying to watch lol. My mom acted and felt very comfortable. She took pictures with me and my dad and operated the camera when it was my dad and Heather. She said she honestly felt fine. She found my dad annoying AF but she always has. I was really proud of her anyways, and I told her so. Interestingly, it was my dad that was clearly uncomfortable. He always talked louder when she came close so that she would hear him self-aggrandizing. Several times I caught him staring at her from across the table/room. Sometimes he would say something and me and my mom would laugh and roll our eyes at each other. My dad tried to make some sort of sexist joke to my boyfriend about the nursing class and he pretended not to understand. He seemed to slowly absorb that he was not the star of the show and to his credit, he never made a scene about it. And as for me, as soon as the first meeting was out of the way and nothing terrible had happened, I immediately felt more relaxed. Stuff went wrong but I literally kept saying to myself, "I am in a bubble, I am in a bubble," and it would pass. I almost fell down the stairs in my long gown and high heels while walking towards the stage, and I definitely accidentally flashed the entire audience with photo evidence. But I was pretty much riding the high and it didn't seem to matter. So yeah it went well, good times all around, the last of my family just left yesterday afternoon and I am having a good time in the bathtub, enjoying sweet silence, and being officially graduated! Thanks everyone :) TL;DR: It happened. I followed u/punfull's advice of pretending I am in a bubble, unawares of the drama around me. My mom also followed this advice and we ignored everything that wasn't good and enjoyed everything that was. When not encouraged with attention, my dad was nothing worse than annoying. Everyone can now be considered on polite and speaking terms and nothing terrible happened except for accidentally showing the convocation audience my vagina :) This is a repost. I am not the OP. The OP is u/elmuchocapitano. submitted by /u/Procrastinating-bruh to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

ORIGINAL by u/throwrathepurchase We have been dating for a little over six years and recently went up to my parents' last weekend, and we met in college for more detail. While there, we ended up going through some old photobooks with my parents, but when we got back home, my boyfriend said he wanted to talk. He said he was bothered by the old photos of me doing aerial silks when I was in my teens and said that it came off as "inappropriate", and this was the first time he ever commented on something I wore/used to wear. He also said he was "disappointed" in my parents for "having no issue" with it either. But, when I asked why he was bothered when it was so long ago, he said that his mom (who's very religious; he's an atheist) never let his sister wear anything not down to her knees and that he was concerned I "might put our potential children in pole dancing" because "silks was close to it", and I told him I disagreed When I said that though, he said that that "was the problem" and that he wanted a break, and he's been staying with his brother for the past two days without calling me at all. I think it's immature and I told him before he left that I just wanted to talk like adults about whatever's behind this, but he said he "wasn't interested until he talked to his brother", and I just want to ask what I should do from here. I'm reconsidering a lot myself too, but I'm hurt that he wants to confide in him before me and was fine before the trip, but after seeing the old albums, has an issue with me Edit: He said he was "having second thoughts about me as a mom" because I "might put our potential daughter in pole because it's similar to silks", and when he was looking at the photobook, he kept saying how "his mom would never let his sister wear anything that doesn't go down to the knees" and that I "looked like a stripped at 16" which really hurt TL;DR: Boyfriend said he wants a break after going through my parents' old photobooks and compared how I was raised to how his mother had many restrictions for him and his sister UPDATE I want to clarify something that I didn't in my first post, and that is that I've practiced silks in college as well. He saw me practice there and had no issue with it, but only had an issue with my high school recital outfit, a unitard that went down to my knees. When I practice, I'm in yoga pants and a tee usually, but him comparing me to his sister was nothing new, but something he promised to stop doing years ago until the photobook made him break it. In the past, he'd compare privileges I grew up with to the ones she wasn't allowed to have and held it against me, once when we went to a funeral at a church and said I was "lucky to not have trauma stepping into one" along with non-Christian music I listened to too. I told him to stop both times, and after the music thing, he promised and stopped for a few years until this Since my last post, we've gone our separate ways. I told him that he needed to pick up his stuff or tell me what was happening or I'd have a storage company hold his stuff, and he finally responded and sent me a text detailing what he and his brother spoke about, not even having the nerve to tell me over the phone. He said that he lied about being an atheist because he "knew I wouldn't accept him otherwise" (I never said that, I'm not religious myself) and that he was a Christian, but a "better one than his mom". He also pointed to the outfits that other performers wore in the photobook recital as "inappropriate" because "leotards are meant for sex" and degrading things like that, even saying that "gymnastics leads to bad thoughts" and that "I'd probably put our kids in there like every parent" too. He said that the Larry Nassar stuff happened because the sport was "sexual in nature" which is why purity was important and that he was sad that I "didn't see it that way" and that he was done with me "because of my values" He wanted his brother to help him get his things, but I told him that I didn't want him there because of how he hated me and his criminal record (he was in no-contact with him until he seemingly broke it to stay with him). So, he had someone else come with him, and I had a friend there when they did too. We had been working to fully cancel everything for the wedding since, and we had even been in pre-marital counseling and talked about how he compared me to his sister in the past, but someone in the comments put it perfectly in my last post when they said something like: "it wasn't my fault for having a good upbringing and not feeling guilty about it because of his sister who I didn't know existed at the time", but he seemed to internalize it the entire time. I really appreciate the advice I received as I'm trying to move on, but the realization of realizing the internalization is hard and how he lied about his promise to stop. Maybe I should've known that he never could've moved on TL;DR: We have since gone our separate ways. I told him that I was going to have his things put in a storage place after some of the advice I received, and he sent me a long text detailing why he was breaking it off because I'd make for a "bad mom" submitted by /u/red_earaches to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

(I went over the rules to ensure this is under the guidelines, feel free to remove if it is not.) Final edit: I'm glad I was able to ignite some dialogue around this topic and share insight into what pro cheerleading is like. I'm going against the majority opinion here which on its own is not an issue, but on Reddit means I can't functionally engage with people as all my attempts to do so are downvoted and harder for others to read and follow, so I'm no longer responding to comments. Thanks to everyone who PM'd support and read what I had to say! I'll end with saying I know my worth, and you don't get anything you don't ask for. Edit: Silver and gold are appreciated, thank you! Edit: there is slight confusion, but I want to clarify since it is the entire point of this post: we are not making $50/hour. That is the number my mom proposed and what I believe could be a decent amount to cover the time and labor this job demands. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. NFL cheerleaders (and NBA dancers) occupy a realm that a lot of people outright ignore, obsess with, or wish to have abolished entirely. If you’ve ever wondered what being invisible and visible at the same time feels like, ask a current or former cheerleader. For example, I found it amusing how shocked people were at how little clothing JLo and Shakira were wearing during the Super Bowl halftime show without bringing any of the same outrage to the cheerleaders who wore similarly skimpy outfits standing on the field for the whole game. When I had the privilege to take my parents to their first regular season game to watch me perform, one of the many things we discussed on the car ride home was the topic of my compensation. I asked my parents what they thought I was paid hourly and without hesitation my mom said $50. Thankfully I was sitting in the back seat of the car so she didn’t see the look of shock on my face. Spoiler alert: NFL cheerleaders are NOT paid $50 an hour, but it would be nice if my mom was in charge of things. As a former NFL cheerleader myself, it truly grinds my gears to see all the arguments against why cheerleaders are pointless, why we don’t deserve to be paid anything, why we aren’t important. Here are my responses to popular arguments against our worth that can hopefully give a better picture of why we are more than deserving of proper compensation for our time and service to the NFL. But I’m not there to watch the cheerleaders, I'm there to watch the game! Maybe on TV you're just focused on the game. But for a few hundred bucks, a lot of fans want more from attending the stadium in person, and franchises know that. I agree that when you go to a football game you’re probably not going to be super concerned with people on the sidelines shaking poms. But we are a part of the game day experience. Football is theater. Every game is a production executed by hundreds of people. Yes, there is a game going on, but during game day there are multiple sponsored challenges, special advertised food at the food court, and yes, dancing by attractive women. Perhaps you really are there to watch the game, but when the game is paused (which in football, there are a lot of pauses), there's gotta be other stuff to make it worthwhile and keep your attention. But not everybody gets to go to games or even watch them. Perhaps money, health, being stationed overseas, or some other reason keeps them away from experiencing game day in person. Cheerleaders are also community ambassadors and attend a variety of local events, hospitals, and charitable organizations in the team’s local area. We even travel to army bases to remind military members of home. For some people, meeting an NFL cheerleader is the closest they will get to meeting a member of their favorite NFL franchise. That means a lot to fans. As ambassadors of a franchise, our pay should reflect the value of the time we put into being present for fans in the community on behalf of the franchise while players are busy traveling or resting in off season. Football players are professional athletes. They deserve that salary. NFL cheerleaders are contractually obligated to attend strenuous rehearsals and learn a large amount of choreography for months leading up to preseason and all throughout regular season for games and potential outside events, maintain physical fitness and their appearance at a professional level, and perform to near perfection on a professional stage in a professional sporting league. If that’s doesn’t make us professional athletes I don’t know what does. I don’t speak for all cheerleaders, but I have spent more than a decade of my life in dance training. I worked hard to get to this point and to make it to this level of dance. Unfortunately, we aren’t protected in the ways athletes are protected, with health insurance, dietitians, and injury prevention. That is a whole other argument, but it stands to reason that objectively cheerleaders at the NFL level are professional athletes. When you think of what a professional athlete earns and the typical salary of an NFL cheerleader, it doesn’t add up in a major way. Nobody cares about the cheerleaders, why bother paying them more or even having them? Being an NFL cheerleader is a position of prestige, status, and notoriety. If nobody cares about NFL cheerleaders, why is it considered impressive to date one? There is a public and cultural perception of NFL cheerleaders that we should be able to capitalize on, since others have. If anything ever happens to me that enters the news cycle, I’m certain the headline will include something about me being an NFL cheerleader in order to generate more clicks. More clicks = more money. That’s how status works. In addition, thousands of women (and now some men) have tried out to be a cheerleader and few make it onto the squad. Whether you like it or not, it’s something that people still aspire to do, and for good reason! The rush of game day, getting a front row seat to the action, it’s truly an amazing opportunity. But, it’s also a ton of hard work to make it to the sidelines of one of the most valuable sport franchises in the world. Maybe you don’t care personally about cheerleaders, but there are a ton of people that do. Just like how minor league baseball players don’t make as much as major league players, our salaries should be reflective of the prestige and status we’ve worked to earn. They don’t care about the money, they’re there because they want to be there. They auditioned, it’s a willing choice. You chose to be at your job, right? You decided to interview and you got the job and now you’re at your desk, so should you not get paid? Does liking a job render it unable to generate income? Does standing in the drastic heat or cold (depending on it your stadium is open or not), performing and making memories for thousands of high paying fans and having fun while doing it make us ineligible to be paid appropriately? As you can tell, I don’t like this argument because it assumes we aren’t aware of what we’re getting ourselves into. Yes, we know we aren’t paid as much and we still try out. That doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be fairly compensated and voice our concerns about it. Perhaps the optics of cheerleaders demanding more pay will change now that men are joining our ranks, but the fact that I even have to say that is a problem. As an industry that is dominated by millennial and Gen X women, we deserve more pay. We work hard, we are worth so much, and we’re not going anywhere. Edit: Appreciate the responses, going to try my best to reply to the ones that address similar points only once so I’m not repeating myself. If anything, I hope I gave some more insight into what goes into the job! Edit again: Saw a lot of comments rightfully point out that without including my pay, it’s hard to know whether or not we should get more, so I’m adding it here for more people to see. For my team, we were paid hourly, slightly above minimum wage (between $3-6 above, I can’t be more specific than this without giving away anonymity) You got a dollar additional on that rate depending on your tenure and also if you were a captain or some other position above others on the team that season. Practices were paid (bi weekly for my team), promos paid, games paid. Any travel was covered. All uniforms were free but you had to pay to replace them and wash on your own (I have heard that some teams make their cheerleaders pay for their uniforms so this isn’t industry wide). Sponsors offset some of the beauty costs, but not much. For my team, we had gym memberships covered, discounted salon costs (hair, nails), some discounts on select makeup brands. Apparently this is rare in the league so most cheerleaders aren’t even getting these benefits while having to use them to maintain their appearance. Edit: Wow! We’re at the point where I’m not feasibly able to respond to everyone. Appreciate all of you who read this, whether or not you agree. I’m a little overwhelmed with all the comments and can’t respond to them all, but I’ve tried to the find the ones with similar ideas and give a response. Please know I am one cheerleader with one experience (that I’m unable to be very specific about without breaking anonymity!) Thank you! submitted by /u/pomsaway to r/nfl [link] [comments]

Hi reddit, So this is a weird one probably, I've always been a quite chubby child, but around a year and a half ago I've decided to do something about that and started working out and doing other sports, I'm playing Volleyball and I'm in my high schools cheerleading team. Around like 8 months ago my mom has started acting like I'm some sort of "threat" to her relationship with my stepdad [41M]. Yes, I've catched my stepdad staring at me few times and I think that's kinda gross but I had hoped she would talk to him about that, but instead she is mad at me. At first she started teasing me with the fact that I'm lesbian, something she never really had an issue with before, said that I'm still the "chubby" girl and other mean things. Over time it has only gotten worse to the point where there are some serious restrictions on what I'm allowed to wear. For example, we've a pool, she absolutely doesn't want me to go swimming in it, because she doesn't want me to walk around in a swimsuit or a bikini. I'm not allowed to wear my gym clothes or any form of leggings, skirts or dresses or even my cheerleading outfit. At multiple occasions she has tried to hide or throw away clothes or make-up. Including Lululemons I've paid for with my own money. She always asks me when I'm getting a haircut again and tries to pressure me into my old short hairstyle by saying how unattractive my longer hair looks. (Fun fact: We are both blonde and have similar hair lengths) What is actually going on? How can I fix this? submitted by /u/advicethrowmeaway645 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Crimson-Contra to r/sports [link] [comments]