Above Ground Pool Landscaping

Savings account, maybe convince my husband to trade my camry for an SUV, maybe a couple hundred dollar above ground pool, def some landscaping but at least 10k in savings

... enemies in the mechanic pool even as you rise ...of Blastingstoke. Barely five levels above the surface, and from .... Building lists. Logistics orders. Landscaping tools. It stared at those... it was an observer above the base and its few... least it suggested a ground invasion was unlikely from the...enemies in the mechanic pool even as you rise on... The intrasystem jump point, above a barren planet that had ...

... to convert a large above ground pool into a built-in pool and instead of... dirt, they used it for landscaping by creating mounds in the ... of wall to create. This pool has created far more issues ... both feel that when the pool was installed, they severed the ... my house. When removing the pool, it was filling with water ... down about 6 inches right above where the line runs. The ...

We want an inground pool but our yard has limitations. Wondering if there are any companies that offer beautifully designed, landscaped above ground pools? If we can't do in ground we want to know what other options there are that wouldn't be an eyesore. Thanks!! submitted by /u/1tangledknitter to r/ottawa [link] [comments]

Hi everyone, I have a quick question. We had an above ground pool replaced recently. The old one didn’t meet code so we had an electrician run a line to it. It has a copper wire loop around it. He said that pavers/ flagstones would need copper mesh, and that if I did a basic landscape web with sand and pavers it would not meet code. My question is - do instead of digging 2” to do that, can I lay the web to prevent weeds and put sand down? I feel like I want to do something rather than just have dirt or grass. Thanks! submitted by /u/What_do_now_24 to r/AskElectricians [link] [comments]

https://isluxury.com/isluxury-listings/underground-house-las-vegas/ "One of America’s most extraordinary residences: The Underground House. Concealed 26 feet below ground, this 14,620 sq. ft. subterranean estate was built in the 1970s by businessman Jerry Henderson and architect Jay Swayze as the world’s largest “Atomitat” — a Cold War–era luxury bunker designed for self-sufficient living. Featuring a total 5 bedrooms, 6 baths over 2 homes (one above ground and one below ground), an indoor pool, putting green, theater, dance floor, bar, saunas, and a programmable faux sky, it recreates the feeling of being above ground while offering total privacy and security. Hand-painted landscape murals, sculpted trees, and retro 1970s design details create an immersive, time-capsule setting unlike any other. This is a rare investment opportunity — ideal as a private residence, event venue, museum, luxury rental, or cultural landmark. A true piece of Las Vegas history and a chance to own a property that is equal parts residence, attraction, and legend." (Quote from its listing on Priceme, https://www.priceme.game/puzzle/260504/3970-spencer-st-las-vegas-nv-89119) EDIT: some of you all obviously spend way too much time here. Not all of us see every post here (I got this house as a Priceme challenge in an email, those tend to be new listings) so we don’t know everything that has been posted. I did multiple keyword searches in the sub to try and find it and didn’t, so I posted it. Go touch some grass rather than bitching at someone here or ask mods to remove posts and leave it be rather than trying to make me feel bad about it. I did look to see if this had been posted but I don’t have all day to search. And sorry, I just realized I probably could have put the link into the search and I’ll make sure to do that next time. 🤙🏻 but seriously, if what you’re choosing to do with your life is post “oh, it’s this again” you might want to reconsider things. Want to know what I do when I see a repost? I just keep scrolling because it doesn’t fucking affect my life. EDIT 2: Now I am finding it utterly hilarious how put out some of you are by this. [Find a therapist through Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists). EDIT 3: My appreciation to u/IAlbatross for calling me out in an excellent and compassionate way for how I came across in all of this. I can see my own projection and shadow in many of the things I said and will definitely talk with my men's group and therapist about how I came across and how the issues I've been facing over the past few months and my reaction to those is a reflection of the shadow and projection I showed here today. Truly though, some of what I said was out of genuine concern because I don't think it is healthy to be so engaged with reddit that you easily identify reposts and get annoyed with it. Now, I don't know anyone's story here, just as you don't know mine, but I did not intend the therapist comment to be an insult or "mic drop" but truly something I believe in. I mean, I spent 5 months in in-patient programs in 2024 due to how bad things had gotten for me. I can see how I am engaging in an unhealthy way due to dissatisfaction, grief, worry, and fear in my own life. If you do have something going on in your life that is causing the online world to be better than the IRL world, please do seek help and I am here to talk and provide any support I can if that is the case. I will be looking at why I have been engaging too much with devices due to my pain at this time. Again, I sincerely apologize and did not mean to offend anyone. submitted by /u/lefty175 to r/zillowgonewild [link] [comments]

Hello I’m looking for some help/ guidance. There is a trench but the bottom is level with the rest of ground when the pool was installed. I wanted to put down landscaping fabric and some crushed rock. Now we’re getting ready start our project I realize it wouldn’t look level all the way around. I tried to use chat, but I’m more confused lol submitted by /u/Wrong-Fondant8746 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Desperate_Earth_6763 Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell BoRUs: #1 [New Update]: My crazy neighbor poisoned my creek and stole water Editor’s note: made small edits for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: assault, harassment, bullying, theft, property damage, entitlement, controlling behavior, fraud, child abuse / abandonment, breaking and entering Mood Spoilers: rage Editor’s note: For the original post, I have put it into a summarizing TL;DR, due to its length. The full text can be found in the first BoRU linked above. RECAP / TL;DR Original Post: May 10, 2025 OOP lives in a semi-rural neighborhood with a hot spring-fed backyard hot tub and a stream running through the area, used by all neighbors for gardens and recreational purposes. OOP's neighbor, referred to as "CN" (Crazy Neighbor), is described as litigious and entitled, previously sued former homeowners and later trying to impose bizarre rules on the neighborhood, like claiming everyone should have access to each other's hot springs and that kids can play in private backyard streams. OOP has a neighbor, Jay, who has been on their side from day one. After moving in, OOP had an unpleasant encounter with CN, who tried to impose these rules on OOP's property. Despite being told no, CN's kids were caught playing in OOP's hot spring, and CN herself later hired workers to pipe hot spring water into her yard without OOP's permission. Once OOP confronted her, CN showed a questionable contract claiming OOP agreed to supply her with water, though OOP had no recollection of signing anything and planned to prove the document was forged. Things escalated when CN began dumping chemicals into the communal stream, poisoning OOP’s garden. OOP is considering legal action and gathering evidence to protect the property. They have also reached out to a lawyer for advice and are trying to figure out the next steps, including using video footage as evidence. In short: OOP's neighbor is wreaking havoc by stealing water and poisoning the stream, and OOP is looking for legal advice and ways to protect their property.   (Editor’s note: For the rest of the updates below prior to OOP’s newest ones, they are in OOP’s words as they contain important details in order to understand the context)   Test results: May 10, 2025 (four hours later) Update 1: Jay offered to use a large drum in his garage to temporarily remove the water from the stream and seeing your comments, I’m taking him up on his deal. All the neighbors down the street that I’ve talked to so far (two besides Jay) agreed. One who has two sons said that they might block off the start of the stream. It is a small outlet of a moderately sized creek. It will probably be blocked off not that hard. Jay said that he can probably get the drum in place by tonight as his dad can help. Jay also has a sweet dog and definitely wants to protect it. I am going to remove my plants from the soil nearby the stream. Also, for reference in size of the stream, it’s about 1-2 feet across. Truly just a stream. There’s lots of obstacles and things that would probably filter out, but we definitely still have to be safe. I’ll update later tonight or tomorrow. Update 2: Big news! The nice neighbors’ kids dammed up the stream at where it starts. It’s a couple pieces of wood, a branch or two, and a lot of small rocks. There’s still a tiny bit of water flowing, but it’s absorbed by the soil higher up before CN. Jay got the drum out, but we turned out not to need it. There’s water still in the pools in his backyard and we plan to do a water test. Apparently pH tests are sold in a store just 10 mins away, so I will head there as soon as I finish this post. Update 3: Jays getting the pH test and an oxygen level test, but I don’t know how oxygen levels would play into it. I’ll look at responses and figure out what to do next. I will call authorities soon. Update 4: The water test: pH came lower than the creek water before CN’s house (a full .9 lower). Nitrates a bit higher, Dissolved Oxygen significantly lower. That’s the only real changes in between the two tests. I wonder if she just poured a lot of vinegar. I think herbicides do change pH, but .9 is quite a bit I think.   Cops pick up crazy neighbor: May 11, 2025 (next day) Update 5: Big update! The makeshift dam broke and water has been flowing down, but it’s been slow. CN complained to a neighbor up the street that she’s on speaking terms with about me being a major asshole for not letting her kids use my hot spring tub. She let it slip that she poured vinegar in the stream as “justice”. The neighbor was also shown the contract for the pipes and she said that she didn’t even have it signed by me. She and her lawyer had signed it, but without any signature space for me. I thought that she forged my signature, but she didn’t have any agreement (fraudulent or otherwise) on my side whatsoever. The neighbor similarly dislikes her, but their kids are friends, so she has to talk to CN. I sent all the info to a local environmental charity that has contacts within environmental protection agencies. They usually deal with lakes and dumping, so this was in what they deal with regularly. The police were outside CN’s house a couple hours ago and took her to the station. CN is back at her house, now yelling over the fence profanities while I’m having a coffee. I don’t know if they arrested her and she payed bail or that she just was taken in for questioning or something. I know her brother in law works at the police station, but I wouldn’t doubt that her family members have a strained relationship with her. I hope that she’s stuck with a giant fine and/or jail time. CN’s lawyer still hasn’t served me regarding the pipes, and my lawyer is saying that CN has no case whatsoever. I’ll update as soon as anything interesting comes up. Update 6: My power just went out in most of my house. I think CN just flipped the breakers to annoy me. Going outside ASAP Update 7: CN indeed did flip the breakers. As far as I know, the security camera has an internal battery for some time after it’s disconnected from the power, so I don’t have to worry about her doing anything.   Revenge Tactics: May 11, 2025 (one hour later) While the government does its thing against my neighbor, I would like to do the most legal annoying thing to do. Currently, I'm thinking about removing the piping and separating the original cost. I think I will send every piece individually through a local copy/print/delivery shop. I know the owner and I think he would think it would be hilarious and agree to it. The plan (please help with it): 1) Remove the piping from the ground and separate every piece into small plastic baggies (and boxes). 2) Bring to copy/print/delivery shop 3) Plan deliveries of each package every period of time over a long time that require signage 4) Wait 5) Tip the copy/print/shop a hundred bucks What do you think? What else could I do?   The beginning of sweet revenge: May 11, 2025 (three hours later) I called the owner of the copy/print/delivery shop and he agreed to what I said in the previous post. I removed all of the pipes from my yard and put them into bags. I didn’t have as much plastic bags and boxes as I thought so I’m paying extra for the owner of the copy shop to supply them. He just delivered the first one to CN (I watched from the street) and CN’s husband answered. He shouted for CN and she came up. I didn’t hear any of the discussion, but she signed delivery sheet, took the package (of a single small corner pipe piece), and stormed into her house. She went up to the 2nd story window and proceeded to glare at me since, still glaring as I sit on my couch while writing this. Working from home will be so nice for watching this.   Crazy Neighbor's weak jabs at me: May 11, 2025 (four hours later) Since my last post, there has been one more pipe delivery to CN and she is pissed. She stormed over to my house (after signing the delivery which I thought she would stop doing) and banged on the door. I started recording my front door and opened the door (I'm not dumb enough to let her in). CN starts shrieking about how I'm awful and that I had to keep the pipes installed as it was her property and that we had a contract. When I told her that the contract wasn't legal at all, she starts screaming at me. I stepped inside for a second and called the police with the door closed. CN continues banging on my door. I don't open until a police car comes down the street. I tell the police that I don't want her ever to be on my property and that she is trespassing. They relay that to her, and she takes up a hurt old lady act (for reference, she is in her 40s). CN tells them that my hot tub burned her youngest child and that I was luring kids in. I showed the police the camera footage and they asked her to come to the station with them. I'm assuming that she made some fake report, but I guess that will be another charge of lying to a police officer. I think that the officer (not CN's brother-in-law) believed me and saw that she was in fact a CN. I saw CN get back into her house and once again went up to the top window, staring. I closed the blinds. I thought she would stop (honestly it doesn't bother me), but to my surprise, she crosses the street to the side of the hill (there’s a slope on the other side of the street from the houses. There's more houses up the slope) and stares through my front window. I don't have blinds for that one and was about to head to a different room when I see her trip backwards (there’s a small ditch for runoff) and land on her butt. CN lets out a ungodly shriek (it wasn't that loud, but I'd like to say it was) as she storms back into her house. I feel at this point, with all of the stuff from my lawyer, from reddit, and neighbors saying that I am completely in the right and that CN is insane has made this more into entertainment than a scary situation for me. I have multiple locks arriving in a couple days and a new security camera for the side yard. If you have any legal suggestions, please tell me. If there's anything I should be aware of, please tell me.   Pulling back and going forwards legally: May 12, 2025 (next day) I’ve been told that messing with CN is probably not going to help out legally, especially with a restraining order, so I just told the copy shop owner just to deliver it all at once. I don’t know if that’s happened yet, but I’m fine not being looking when I happens. I will file a restraining order today. I don’t know how it works, but I hope I can complete it today. No new news from CN except Jay saying that she looked really mad. I know this isn’t a big update, but it’s an update on the situation.   Husband comes over to talk: May 13, 2025 (next day) This happened last night and I was too tired to update after it. CN's husband (I'll call him NH for neighbor husband) knocked on my door last night, alone. CN wasn't there, so I answered it. He then tells me that CN is "going through some things right now" and some other stuff. He then asks me if I could "let sleeping dogs lie. She did some stuff wrong, but she's a really great person". I told him that I would consider it. I'm not, but I didn't want to be in that conversation. I honestly thought that he would apologize about it, but making excuses like that is so pathetic. According to many of my neighbors, CN's been like this for years. I think he's trying to cover themselves from the bomb they just planted. That's all. New updates probably coming soon.   Some resolution (but not in the way you think): May 14, 2025 (next day) I was typing this out earlier, but it didn’t save as a draft so I will paraphrase it instead of writing it all out like earlier. I went out to get my mail and I noticed CN rush out of her house onto her porch to watch me. I take the mail and head inside. Through the endless sea of junk mail, there was a wedding invitation. Nobody I know remotely nearby is getting married and I didn’t recognize the names or the faces. On the back was a handwritten letter thanking me for volunteering my house for the bachelorette party and inviting me to wedding at a local venue. 1) Definitely did NOT invite anyone to use my property for a party 2) My backyard isn’t the biggest for a party 3) I don’t know who these people are I took a picture of the front and the back and then went and made a copy of the invitation and cut it to the right size. I then took the copy and walked in front of CN’s house (in the street). She is looking from the door. I then light the copy on fire (safely). She runs out and starts yelling at me. I am not entirely listening as I had an earbud in my left ear listening to a podcast (I listen to podcasts while doing my routines and hadn’t bothered to take it out) and at one point, I heard the groom’s name. Clearly she was behind it (I knew before, this just solidified the fact). I called her husband and told him that I was not hosting the bachelorette party and to leave me alone. He asks which one. I told him the names of the bride and groom. He is audibly surprised. He then tells me that the groom is CN’s son from a teenage pregnancy (not with him). He then said that he would talk to CN about it, calling it an accident. I find the name of the dad of the groom and call him. He sounded super genuinely grateful when I told him who I was. I asked him about CN and he said that she had left the baby with him and when he had sued for child support, the judge said that it was his poor choices that led to the baby and he was responsible for it, without child support. I told him the situation, and he sounded defeated. Apparently, the groom had been quick to forgive his absent mother (CN) and had invited her against the dad’s wishes. He said that he would tell the groom and the bride about the situation. I then had a thought that would be the absolute perfect revenge: I offered to host the party for free with 2 rules 1) They don’t damage anything and clean everything up 2) CN is blocked at the door of the wedding despite her invitation 3) My invite to the wedding still stands. He said he would discuss it with the bride and groom. Even if he says no, it’s worth a try. I just realized I typed it all up in detail despite what I said at the beginning. I will probably get the news in the next couple days.   It was worth a try: May 15, 2025 (next day) Groom's dad (GD), Groom, and Bride I was looking over some comments just before posting this and realized I don't want to be screwed over, so I am staying back. Also, GD gave me a call extremely late last night and told me that Groom wanted to meet his mom (CN) at the wedding. Bride was supportive, thinking it would be an extremely wholesome wedding. GD said that he would try to find another location for the party, but that it would be hard this late as Bride had a large bridesmaids group. GD is going to help CN with preparing for the wedding at his son's request, even though he thinks it might be a disaster. My plants that are near the stream look scorched as if they were in a fire. (I'm talking about the plants that are next and around the stream, not in my garden. I think the next steps are through legal means and not through petty actions. I will keep you all updated.   Piecing parts together: May 15, 2025 (six hours later) CN had been trying to gain access to the hot spring for as long as she's known of it. She had tried lawsuits, land disputes, and other legal and legally dubious means to get it. When she heard of her son becoming married, she thought that she could have a good attempt at gaining access to the hot spring. CN had initially offered to use her house for a price for the bridesmaids party, but since it didn't have anything good for a party, Bride had declined. She couldn't find another place though, but still didn't want CN's house. CN had then had the bright idea to tell the Bride and Groom that she had had a natural, healing, and amazing hot spring in her yard and Bride said yes. This is when CN tries the whole piping the hot spring to her yard. She obviously doesn't get far into that plan. After I dismantle all the piping, she volunteers my house and backyard for the party. I think that the stream pollution was lashing out because she was mad before she volunteered my house. No updates besides what I've pieced together from assorted sources.   Revenge is back in action, without me needing to participate: May 15, 2025 (seven hours later) GD called me about 10 mins ago. I was going to post the update right away, but I was reading some of the comments. This is what he said, and asked if my offer about hosting the bridesmaids party was still standing (this is heavily paraphrased to be readable, but all the main points and events are there). GD met up with CN to talk to her about the wedding, mostly setting boundaries. He went to her house (with his phone recording just in case anything happened, knowing the history of CN). GD is talking to CN very formally, as much straight facts as possible when he glances through a cracked open door into her bedroom. I don't remember the word he used to describe it (it was a very good way to say it), but kind of out of the corner of your vision when you're avoiding eye contact. GD sees multiple white dresses laying on CN's bed. They are fancy dresses. Not quite wedding dresses, but definitely close. GD can't stop staring at it. He then asks CN about what she's wearing to the wedding, and CN says that she has a couple dresses picked out. He connects the dots and subtly leaves the conversation, calls Bride and Groom and tells them what he saw. He then gives Groom some of CN's history. Bride then asks if they can do the house with the hot spring then. GD tells me that he knows that I don't like CN and that I wouldn't be at the wedding, but that the rest of the deal would stand. I told him sure, but not to let CN know about it, just letting herself think that I got pushed around by him into hosting. I know that the agencies I contacted about her pouring vinegar into the creek have been investigating, so even though it likely wouldn't, I hope it all falls out on the day of the wedding   CN Angry: May 17, 2025 (two days later) I’ve been asked for an update. There has not been much crazy neighbor activity over the time that I haven’t updated. I think she installed a step stool on her side of the fence as she’s been looking evil eying me whenever I’m in the hot tub. The weddings coming up next weekend, so I’m interested in what’s going to happen. Not much has happened besides that.   Really funny mini-revenge: May 20, 2025 (three days later) Ok, I’ve been told to skinny dip in the hot spring. I’m not doing that. I am not socially ok enough for my neighbor to see, even if it’s to get revenge. I do know some people who are. This happened yesterday around 1, just for reference. I tell some friends who are comfortable in their own bodies that they could hang out in the hot tub and I’m not going to be there, so they could do whatever. I more asked them to do it after I gave a little bit of backstory of the neighbor. They happily agreed and they came around 1. I left for a nice long lunch when they came and I told them to call me if anything happened. I also turned off the back security camera just to not be weird. Not 30 minutes later do the COPS call me asking if I was ok with the people in my backyard. CN had called the cops for a trespassing (hypocrite) and they had arrived and talked to my friends. They had my number and they called me. I told them that I invited them over and the cops left. I didn’t get a call this time, but the police were called again for my friends “exposing themselves to children”. The police knew that they were in a private backyard, but still came and pretty much left almost immediately after (it was the same officers I think). That’s all. I don’t think I’m going to do anything until the wedding. Thank you for the astounding amounts of comments, it’s absolutely insane.   Creek modifications: May 20, 2025 (three hours later) My neighbor 2 houses down just came up to me and asked if I would allow the stream to be changed in my yard (Jay already said yes). There’s a landscaping company that’s going to be installing limestone along the creek for acid neutralization or something like that. My neighbor 2 houses down does have a garden similar to mine and I guess that’s why. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks   The Wedding: May 25, 2025 (five days later) I haven’t updated in a while even though some stuff is happened just so I could save it for this giant update. I am so shocked by what happened and I guess I should have listened to some advice about being safe. Also, I phrased the update about the card wrong as the bridesmaids party was last night and the wedding is today (the ceremony just finished just a couple minutes ago and I got the news of what happened by a mutual friend who went to the wedding (I didn’t know he was a mutual friend or going to the wedding. I told him about the situation a while ago and he decided to let me know). Friday: CN kept looking over the fence. I would have turned on sprinklers, but I don’t have any because I don’t really have grass in my backyard. Later in the day, a police car pulled into CN’s driveway and a bit after, it left. CN’s “revenge” of staring at me continued a lot more after that. I don’t understand why she wastes her time doing it. It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. Saturday: Some people knocked on my door midday asking if I could let them into the backyard to set up for the bridal party. I called GD and he said it was the right people (just to be safe). They set up some surprisingly expensive and nice decorations and furniture in the yard (not in a destructive way). People come in and out while setting up and the backyard looks amazing. CN continuously peered over the fence for a good amount of time, but I didn’t care. Around 6, Bride and all the bridesmaids (I’ll do M for bridesmaids) (also about 20 bridesmaids there). I stayed inside mostly, but they occasionally asked me to come out and they drunkenly thanked me. I think the Ms were very wealthy as I received a little over 3K in “tips” from them as I occasionally brought out a carton of ice cream. Well worth it I think. More to the events of the party. CN had a campfire in her backyard around 9, but there wasn’t really any wind, so the smoke just stayed in her yard. I think she tried to smoke us out, but maybe she was just having a little fire (I doubt it though). She then gets her hose to put out the fire and “accidentally” sprays water over the fence. Eventually, once the party winds down and they’re packing up, Bride hands a card signed by all of them thanking me for hosting with additional tips inside (about 2K). I was honestly stunned how nice they were. Around 11, a very drunk CN bangs on my front door as I’m about to go to sleep. I don’t answer, but have the video on the doorbell camera. She leaves after a bit and I go to bed. This morning: this is a secondhand account, so I won’t have all the details. CN comes to the wedding in her very white dress and demands to be let in, but the security denies her. She tries to push the security, but he isn’t fazed. People were watching, but my friend who was there had to go do something (I didn’t ask what). When he gets back, CN isn’t there. What’s happening on my side: this is my account that is right after, but before I got the news about what happened. CN bangs on my door and tries the knob. Since I was getting groceries a bit before, I had accidentally left it unlocked. She comes into my house. I call the cops as soon as I see her open my door. I run upstairs while I give the info to the cops. CN screams at me and eventually slaps me in the face. I’m screaming at her to leave and she tries to slap me again. I grab her wrist and she screams. I basically drag her out the front door right as the police arrive. She is put in the back of the cop car and the police interview me. I tell them and they leave, then I get the news. CN is not back. I honestly won’t argue with people about if this is true or not as what happened this morning doesn’t feel real even though I just lived through it.   Editor’s note: this is the last post we were left off Final Update: FAFO: June 6, 2025 This is probably the final update as I doubt any new updates will come. CN still hasn’t come back from the police station, or she’s been hiding in her house. If she hasn’t come back (which I think), I think she might have not been able to pay bail, but I have no legal knowledge really. She’s apparently facing north of 3 years in jail, but there’s a good chance she’ll get less or not at all. I grilled some food Saturday and hosted a good amount of the neighborhood. As much as I would like to say I was cool and collected after the assault, I felt a bit shaky and not great, so having some people over seemed like a good idea. I think it’s mostly worked. Last night, I went in the hot spring and it was really nice to hang out.   ----NEW UPDATES---- An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor: November 24, 2025 (5.5 months later from the previous update) An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor I really didn’t think I would do an update as I thought that my CN would finally stop after getting legal punishment. She so far has only with me. One of my very nice neighbors who has the kids who volunteered to help stop the creek earlier this year is well liked throughout the neighborhood. I think I’ll call her Donna because I don’t want to put her name here after someone found out what city I live in. So she often helps with babysitting kids for a couple hours for a simple IOU. It’s thanksgiving break for all the kids so lots of people are going on vacation or visiting family. CN and her husband are currently in California. You may think ‘oh where are her kids’. She left all 3 of her kids at the doorstep of Donna with an envelope that has $50 to pay for the 2 weeks that they’re at the beach. The thing is, Donna and her whole family is in the Midwest for the week visiting family for Thanksgiving. CN’s kids were out at the door for hours (presumably in the cold rain) before another neighbor noticed them and asked what they were doing. The kids said that Donna had agreed to have them until their parents got back, but obviously Donna wasn’t there. They didn’t want to call the cops as they thought it was a misunderstanding, so they brought the kids around until a newer family agreed to watch them until it was sorted out. CN isn’t responding to any attempts to reach her, and nobody wants to bring the cops into it. Donna’s pissed and said that she won’t come back to babysit them and that there was no deal ahead of time. I’m just an observer in this so far, so this is more of a neighbor update. Probably going to have another update or two. Any recommendations? Nobody in the neighborhood wants anyone with the government involved really, and it’s not really involving me, so I doubt my voice will be heard or taken seriously. I don’t know. Thanks Update: Pretty big consensus I should call CPS. I think I will but not tell anyone I did. CN is not a good person. If you want to know what the full situation is, I’d look at the old post. It’s archived so I think you can still see it. Update 2: it wasn’t me, but someone called the cops earlier and by the time I called, they said that someone was at the house already. Currently, they’re trying to contact CN and her husband, but so far no luck. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: CPS should be called... idk if you're counting that as "government" but CN abandoned her kids for 2 WEEKS! It's child abandonment, plain and simple. She needs to come get her kids and if you guys can't get her to do it, I bet CPS will. They are there for the kids and to ensure their safety. OOP: I’ve said that but the family that’s having them now think that it’s cruel to the kids and would break up the family. It’s their choice in the end I guess :/ Commenter 2: What’s cruel to the kids is thinking you bumpkins know what’s best for them and protecting a deadbeat. Kids need stability. If their parents can’t provide that then you are doing them a massive disservice by not calling cps. No “family” leaves their kids in another state without knowing their wellbeing or making sure they are safe. OOP: I know. CN is definitely not a good parent but a lot of the people in the neighborhood haven’t like directly seen stuff and I’m not really involved right now so I don’t really have a say. Calling the cops or anyone will just reflect really negatively on me because I think they just think it’s a misunderstanding right now. OOP on the said kids' ages OOP: I don’t know exactly, but probably 9,10,11? In spring the youngest was 8 and they’re very similar in age so it’s a guess Commenter 3: Did she get any jail time based on the breaking and entering she committed post wedding? OOP: Not as far as I know. A giant fine and a giant amount of community service I think. OOP on if CN got fined for pouring vinegar into the creek water? OOP: She already got fined a giant amount due to my reporting of it to a local environmentalist group and then taking it to the authorities.   Editor's note: the next latest update was rehashed in the previous update Not good update on child abandoning neighbor: November 28, 2025 (four days later) Not good update on child abandoning neighbor So yesterday, CN actually responded to a call and when asked about everything, she sent screenshots from months ago where Donna said that she could possibly babysit them for the two weeks, but she was still making plans with her family about visiting them. Donna said that it would be $2000 for the two weeks, but she wasn’t sure if she could and that she would let her know if she could do it and not to count on it. CN played it off as a big misunderstanding with Donna as the fault and pretty much everyone believed her. So the kids are staying at the newer family’s house for the remaining time in exchange for $1000 from CN. I’d say $1000 in exchange for not being arrested is a pretty good deal for CN that she does not deserve. At least the kids looked super happy spending thanksgiving with the family and were playing with their family in the yard for much of yesterday. I guess everyone forgot that the kids brought $50 instead of $2000. :/ What should I do? Relevant Comments Commenter: So is this all done? Timestamps show this discussion took place awhile ago and there was no follow up. Does CN have friends in higher up places or is CPS moving at a holiday pace? OOP: I think CPS left the situation after CN convinced everyone it was a misunderstanding. It happened yesterday and the day before, but started at the beginning of their thanksgiving break   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/myPjams WIBTA for Embarrasing the neighbors for treaapassing in our backyard Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole TRIGGER WARNING: Entitlement, harassment Original Post May 6, 2020 Our family moved into our home about two years ago. We moved in and our adjacent neighbor has been a nightmare.they are a forty something couple, who have a five year old son with developmental disabilities. When we first moved in we wanted a privacy fence for our dogs, our realtor, our sellers realtor, and our seller said it wouldn't be an issue, The neighbor fought the HOA about it for three months, and due to the situation and needing a fence we made huge concessions (and installed 4ft fence) It started with them calling the cops one morning when my husband got home from work on a Sunday morning sat on our backyard deck after a night shift and drank a beer and hung out with our daughter. They said he was endangering our daughter. Thankfully the cop understood wanting a beer after a night shift and just popped in and popped out. We had a little Fischer Price playhouse last summer for her to play in, and they reported it to the HOA. we hung a baby swing off a tree branch, same thing. Call from the HOA The mom particularly will park her mini van in front of our drive way so husband can't pull in or out of the garage, and wigs out when my husband comes and knocks on her door at 530 am to move it. Suffice to say we have learned our lesson and when we decided to install a playset we jumped thru the hoops Last month we had a landscaper install it. It's essentially a playground in our backyard. We both work essential jobs and no one is home during the day. My husband switched to nights and has watched The past two weeks her or her husband have been letting themselves into our backyard to let their son play for an hour or two, twice a day. first thru the gate, which we then locked, now they jump the Fence and bring a step ladder to get back over. They always wait for me to leave for work, I'm not sure they see my husband pull in at 6ish am. We bought a security camera, that records. Am I the asshole if my plan is to record them playing in my backyard and putting it on the neighborhood nextdoor and Facebook page, (she's active in both and complains about us, including a post about our playground landscaping being insensitive) my other option is to call the cops but I don't want to frighten their son VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE RELEVANT COMMENTS [deleted] NTA, but keep it to proper channels. Call the cops for trespassing. Contact the HOA. Every time you notice them parked blocking your driveway, call and have it towed immediately. All your neighbors seem to know about them anyway. Word will get out. And how is calling the cops scary for the son? They already called the cops on you for legal activity on your own property. Also, are scrubs/trees legal in lieu of fence for privacy? Perhaps with thorns? Can you add a privacy screen or trellis to your porch/deck? Good luck! OOP Their son is fairly developmentally disabled. Just from how his mom in particular behaves (last time she called the cops on us for using our backyard to have a beer and mimosa on a Sunday) honestly she is that person that wigged out at us, called the police on 911. the police came, saw we were sitting on our porch, apologized to us, and she went ballistic at the cop for not arresting our . And it started a chain event and the little boy just lost his mind on the police officer. Thankfully he is very visibly a disabled child I think we will contact the police to ask them to witness it and quietly address it this time. And let the officer know if it happens again we will press charges. If we want to plant anything we have to have hoa approval and the neighbor folks are just not amenable and the HOA isn't going to open the can of worms where they don't follow their own by laws. (trees, fence and landscaping to keep views of the area is very important, it specifically calls out plants over 18 inches high) Honestly had our neighbors not been giant turds about everything and pretty much treat us like we're single handedly ruining their neighborhood, or even asked us while our daughter was away with her grandparents while my husband and I were working 75-80 hours a week to use it, I think I would have said yeah not a big deal. Now i'm mad this lady posts about our 'bad behavior" every week on social media and talks shit about us and now actually does something that's actually illegal and I can't shout it from the rooftops that she's a hypocrite ~ Sassyza NTA....but be The bigger person and go to your HOA first and let them know that The next step is to call the cops. You don't want them threatening to sue you if you put the video on social media. I understand they would probably lose if the did sue but you lose too if you had to hire legal counsel. Good luck with these ass holes Edits: First of all, OP please let us know what happens. I see in comments to my posts there are some stating you have every right to post the trespassing video on social media. Since none of us know where you are located, I don't think it is good advice. Know what your rights are as well as the trespassers rights before you follow that type of advice. As one posters suggested, have their car towed next time it is blocking your driveway. cr2810 I agree. Take this to the HOA and tell them they need to approve your 6 ft fence now. And I would also go to the cops. You need to have the neighbors given an official trespassing notice. OOP How the HOA bylaws work all adjacent properties have to agree with the fence. They were the only neighbors that refused to and we had to compromise and install the only fence that is auto approved. & But I plan on parking my car a block away this afternoon and calling the police that we have tresspassers OOP responding to a downvoted commenter who thinks be the bigger person and a better neighbor Honest to God. Both of their sons are great. Before she started posting on the neighborhood Facebook, I've paid the teenage son to sit for our daughter before. And I honestly wouldn't care if they asked if they could use it. R (Our daughter is with grandparents until husband is no longer taking care of cov + patients, so we don't use it, and I've literally watched them run cleaning supplies on the touch surfaces after use. ) Right now is a difficult time and we can be good members of our community, and it this can make his life better, and in turn their lives a little easier Than let's do it. But it takes a lot of cajones to bitch about us on the internet (almost weekly) and bitch about my backyard and then feel free to use it. Update 1 Same Day/5 hours later Update 1:. I spoke to two attorneys. Specifically I used Google and searched for previous cases involving my HOA where the attorney represented the home owner. A. This particular hoa is really not afraid to spend money on lawsuits. He thought if we wanted a higher fence and installed without permission or landscaped any further we would be fined if someone complained. B. The HOA can't do anything about her behavior, and for a few hundred dollars she will draft a letter making it clear we find this ladies posts on their FB to be harassing. C. To call the non emergency police and leave a message. D. As far as she's concerned we have the appropriate insurance for our attractive nuisance. E. Because they are using a ladder to use our attractive nuisance the get over the fence. And an adult always accompanying him, that the particular laws in our state make it very clear if it's no easily accessible it's not an attractive nuisance and it only covers children F. There's nothing illegal about posting it on Facebook/Nextdoor. Update 2 Same Day 13 hours later Update two: I spoke with the non emergency police line and the community assigned police officer called me about ten minutes later. The community police officer (he was very nice looks like he's been winding down his career as a school police coo and a community cop) agreed if I called him today he would come and help me have the conversation and issue them a warning about tresspassing. I don't want them charged, I want to be the bigger person. Even if I want nothing more than to be extra petty and put her on blast with the neighbors. They showed up for the afternoon play around 2:30. The dogs and cameras let me know.i called the officer and he parked down the block and we both walked around the house, (he verified my gate is locked) to my very surprised neighbors. I said hey Rachel we need to talk, we can sit down and do it, I'm pissed you all are in my backyard without my permission but I feel like I can control my emotions. I told her we had noticed that they were at first letting themselves into my backyard, but now they were breaking into it. I said coming into my yard without my permission needed to end today. The officer point blank said he works 8-5 m-f and will respond immediately to any trespassing incidents after today. She got a little snippy and started talking back to the officer, but the officer escorted her and her son and her ladder off the property, and said he didn't want to hear it and that she's an adult and she can't go into a fence property even when it's unlocked. Rachel posted not even 15 minutes after this happened on the neighborhood Facebook with a picture of my backyard about how ridiculous it is that you can get a playground approved in a backyard. And how ugly it is and how it's devaluing everyone's property. And how it's dangerous and if anyone thinks it's impeding her view. Some agreement from her friends, and a few people reminding her we live in a very kid friendly neighborhood, and it looked nice and natural. I also posted in the neighborhood facebook with a picture from my office of my backyard with her and her son using a ladder to get over the fence Ingo my backyard, really good ISO landscaping suggestions on my fence line to keep neighbors out. I may be using our stimulus check on getting some supplies and making portable privacy screen/fence/trellis Garden boxes. Suffice to say her FB post is deleted and her husband Facebook messaged me asking me to delete mine. FINAL COMMENTS General_Moy Thank you for keeping us informed! Please continue to do so! OOP Fuck. If I thought I wouldn't get identified by posting the video here I would. They literally have an above ground swimming pool ladder they move and climb into my yard with. tanno55 Are you going to remove your post? What did her husband say about her using your backyard? OOP I took my post down. That guy has also been climbing our fence and using our backyard so it's not a just her problem. Its their bad behavior not just hers. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Source: obsidian.net Greetings Commanders and citizens of Arcadia! We are releasing Patch 1.0.5.0 for The Outer Worlds 2 that address numerous bug fixes that you brought to our attention and much more! As always, we want to thank you all for your support and reporting these issues to us. If you come across any other issues, please contact us via our Issue Tracker page. The Earth Directorate thanks you. Community Reported Issues Added Fan Tossball Card for Celest Fairbrook Fixed unable to save issue when the “Saved Games” system directory does not exist. Now Windows should create the directory if it’s missing. Fix case where stale crime data would prevent saving. Fixed crash that could occur when transitioning to new areas with frame gen enabled on Nvidia GPUs Added a setting to allow players to turn off mouse smoothing and acceleration if they are experiencing cursor lag Loading Screen images can now scale up to fill larger resolutions Addressed issue where Wireless Free Arcadia would stop playing audio The player's eyebrows no longer disappear when using the inventory screen or idle camera The player's eyebrow color will now be properly saved and applied to their in-game characters after character creation. Note: this unfortunately will not retroactively fix incorrect eyebrow color for existing characters. Adjusted skinning on hairstyles in Character Creation Made adjustments to Side Burn facial hair so that it no longer disappears at certain angles Updated Multiple Scrapper Helmets to ensure emissives stay visible when certain prosthetics equipped Fixed missing geometry with certain prosthetics while wearing the Scoundrel's Aegis Removed ground texture from container in Westport Removed Dev text from appearing in some skill checks Removed instance of temporary text in Torres conversation Addressed several spelling and grammar errors Jackson's jump sequence at Spire Grove will now play correctly if interrupted by fast traveling away. Inez 'wants to talk' icon will no longer remain visible beyond relevant areas. Inez no longer shows up during the conversation in the Protectorate stowaway hideout in Fairfield if she isn't in your party. Made further improvements to ensure Inez reliably shows up in Fairfield town hall after first meeting her at the Ministry of Accuracy. Hogarth will now speak to player in edge cases where player has Milverstreet’s quest mentioned and visited the Vox Relay. Tristan now properly leaves his “Wants To Talk” stage after speaking with player on the Ship Talking to a companion during certain behaviors no longer prevents them from returning to their previous behavior Improved conversation staging in Fairfield’s Greenhouse to prevent companions from spawning in pool Companions will now allow players to see their Traits while on the Incognito Increased Companion survivability, especially on Hard and Very Hard difficulty settings. This indirectly improves Companion health increases from the Leadership skill. Bomb Suit unique armor now reduces explosive damage taken instead of reduce explosive damage dealt Adjusted Bomb Suit to properly reduce damage taken from explosives The Menacing Mask item now only applies its unique partial sneak attack damage to attacks made with a light melee weapon. The Vital Striker perk now only applies its partial sneak attack damage to attacks with melee weapons Nature’s Best Friend perk will now properly tame creatures Lowering the skill and perk investment required for Nature's Friend and Nature's Best Friend. Duration of base tamed effect on Nature’s Friend is increased. Makeshift Armorer perk requires more bits per armor value added. Certain recipes are also no longer loopable with their crafted item when broken down. Minigun barrel mods are now purchasable at various mod vendors. Serial Killer hearts no longer reset their max health bonus upon picking up a new one after loading a save Oracle Laureate now correctly gives player a primer as loot Ship pets that have been unlocked via promotions will now be usable right away, without needing to unlock other pets first Burrowed crabbles no longer fall through the world during combat. Fix for grass wind motion popping at distance Adjusted foliage to properly sit on terrain Improved foliage placement around caves in Paradise Island. Adjusted grass clusters in Paradise Island overlands. Terrain adjustments to Golden Ridge overlands Improved geometry around caves in the Golden Ridge overlands Adjusted geometry to prevent player from reaching out of bounds locations in Golden Ridge Fixing rare puzzle out of bounds issue in Monastery Improving Monastery Puzzle Interface Clarity Pickable crystals no longer placed inside other geometry Moved book that was clipping Moved barnacles in Crabble Caves so they are no longer floating Dematerializer Lockbox enables interactions when loading the Player Ship level if A Healthy Improvement is active but the dematerializer hasn't been acquired. Objectives from active quests no longer have a chance of disappearing in the HUD when a non-active quest updates. Addressed issue where the player could not give Ormsby his ingredients via the transaction drawer. Player will now properly be able to unholster weapon if their previously equipped one was removed after loading save. Pop-up Gun no longer advertises killing you as a good idea to your friends. Player can no longer access dialogue option with Sub Rosa if they do not have the required perk for it. Replaced Display Case examinable with standard lockpick interaction Required Info Not Found option on Montelli's terminal no longer displays when its impossible to find the information. Fixed issue where EARL switches would become unusable if the PC save/loaded during their reset animation Drones in the Paradise Island power station will now properly leave their pods when the player loads a save in that area. NPC should no longer get stuck in falling animation in Free Market Station Addressed unique scenario where enemies would not attack player when hostile. Addressed issue where player would die after loading a save in an elevator. The following patch notes contains spoilers: Fixed issue where if the player followed the specific order of going to Vox Relay, then completing The Saga of the Malfunctioning Mechanicals, they would be blocked from continuing The Brain Benders of Auntie’s Choice! (Spoiler) Fixed an issue where it was possible to get Ruth’s conversation into a state where she would no longer have option to progress the An Equitable Arrangement quest Ruth plays her introduction if the player has finished (Failed or Succeeded) the Equitable Arrangement quest. This fixes previous issues with quest turn-ins to Ruth. (Spoiler) “A Way Back to the Light” quest should now properly complete after turning it in to Provost Coulter (Spoiler) 'Fiends in High Places' now progresses in cases where saving/loading to deactivate/reactivate caused the Refinery encounter completion conditions to not evaluate correctly. After the Refinery bridge extends, killing remaining snipers will cause the encounter to complete and the quest to progress. If snipers have already been killed and the bridge has been extended, loading the save will cause the encounter to complete and the quest to progress. Addressed issue where (Spoiler) “The Saboteur of Paradise” quest was not updating beyond “Explore Vox Relay” (Spoiler) Updating The Saboteur of Paradise to properly reflect if player completed the DeVries in Fairfield objectives part of the quest before dropping Vox Relay (Spoiler) Added a clearer path to convincing Charlton from Westport to leave for the bridge for For Whom The Bridge Tolls mission on Paradise Island. Updated the beacon text for bringing Aza to the N-Ray Range to confirm the cultists there are dead to something more appropriate Adjusted beacon radius to provide more clarity for quest at Praetor Grounding Station. Commander Torres will now happily accept scrabbles and react to the events at the Vox, regardless of his location. Major Issues and Crashes Attempting to fix a crash on WinGDK build when initializing save game manager The game will no longer crash when interrupting Facilitator Tilden's bark dialogue via player interaction in Mental Refreshment. Addressed a crash related to crowd NPCs The game will no longer crash on rare occasions when the player dies from fall damage while simultaneously mounting a ladder. Addressed a crash related to Ray Tracing Latin American Spanish localization support for achievements on PS5 After visiting water reconditioning in Laplace's Garden without having talked to the agent, they will properly direct the player to start the quest. Elevator in (spoiler) Rift Lab is no longer inaccessible after combat ends. Content & Quests Players are able to loot the soldier corpse for a reward when dematerializing the examinable crabble corpse at the crabble fishery on Paradise Island Fixed issue with quest trigger for Mysteries of the Mental Modulators firing when it shouldn't Companions no longer photobomb a conversation with Niles in the ship cargo bay. Fixed issue with an NPC that wasn't in the correct spot for a companion quest Player controls are no longer frozen during extraction sequence in Cold Storage. Audio Logs collected during the Deviations Under Duress quest correctly display the collected audio log count in the quest addendum pop-up Companions will no longer freeze when trying to perform certain actions Helen no longer photobombs the player when speaking on the intercom in Horizon Point Station landing pad. Controlling for Convenience quest correctly requires the sample in order to progress and cannot be bypassed by not having the negotiator perk Fixed issue where player could not pick up a second open bounty if they turned in the other previously on Golden Ridge Updated Aza’s conversation to prevent players from being able to kick off her final quest by speaking to her after passing the point of no return by flying to the endgame level "Improved messaging for if the player fails the Endpoint’s End mission. Anais Bujold will now react via comms to the player getting caught on the experiment floor." Addressed issue with NPCs not sticking around after a quest Marsol is no longer able to teleport to the rooftop of Scientician's Surplus and enter a problematic state Removed reference to cut content that was triggering an error. Marisol now reacts to player failing her final companion quest. Conversation with Inez about grafting parts no longer drops An optional objective for 'Saboteur of Paradise' and lighting better indicate the control interface to redirect the Vox Relay away from Fairfield An addendum to speak to Corbin now displays on the Explore Vox Relay objective of the Saboteur of Paradise if it was triggered on the Seek Assistance Infiltrating Vox Relay objective Updated content so the courier at ACS Undisputed Claim that starts Inez’s second quest properly fails to show up if she was dismissed permanently Updated scripting to prevent knock-on effects in the player ship for either dismissing Inez after receiving the courier’s message or for player who obtained the message after Inez’s dismissal before the fix above Updated Inez’s conversations so the player can no longer dismiss her while on the ship if Ortiz’s recorded message is waiting to be played" Ensuring main quest updates accordingly if player kills Milverstreet before getting De Vries info from him Bell Tower switches in the Monastery no longer prevent interaction with nearby corpses or pickups Vigilant Hogarth now responds properly if the player has entered the Vox Improved Timing for Niles post combat barks in Tomb of the Matriarch More player responses available in Inez conversations about Auntie's Choice The Cultist Leader's warning distance is now more forgiving Outer door now seals when starting the Archive Reactor fight Improved power switch state logic in Rift Lab exterior Indestructible barrel in Euphoria Automech Repair Center is now very destructible Paradise Island Rift sequence persistence improvements Improved Fairfield guard Patrols Audio log in Auris Listening Post now correctly plays as an audio log rather than spatial audio Fixed issue with an audio cartridge Quest Item that wasn't present when it needed to be Thessaly Falk should no longer appear in two places at once. Improved save load persistence for monastery puzzle interactable Fixed setup for audio log in Auris Listening Post Improved Elevator presentation in rift device room Fixed issue where Dragoon was unphased after having a part removed during a quest Improving Rift Lab encounter access to player from within spawn room Players no longer have to pass 2 skill checks to disable the Underlands turret. Updating Monastery Directory Examinables for Clarity Fixed issue with idle Janitor Mech NPC During the Rivers Of Milk and Honey quest the beacon on the Oracle Laureate now disables when it is no longer relevant Fixed issue with idle NPC Fixed issue where drones on the ACS Undisputed Claim were aggro to the player when they shouldn't be Fixed issue where NPCs were incorrectly standing on a counter Companions killing Marshall Corbin on Vox Relay are now considered as having been killed by the Player for various reactivity Cleaned up examinable to avoid a confusing state it could get in Protectorate soldiers can be lured onto the exposed panel in the locker room of the Skip Lab with distraction devices (it would be horrible if electricity was enabled while they're on it) Fixed issue where a beacon was showing up at the wrong time for a quest Convinced Tristan to relax so that he no longer accuses you of crimes you have not committed. Some of the Order of the Ascendants members were found to be having conversations with each other at very long distances on Cloister, this wasn't part of the grand equation and has been addressed Smoothed out the conversation flow if the player is engaging about compression coils quest objectives. Fixed some cases where you couldn’t talk to companions while standing on an elevator. Vigilant Hogarth now no longer sometimes refers to Marshal Corbin as if he were alive, if he died. Corrected punctuation errors. Addressed issue where an NPC was not going away after a quest Improvements to waypoints and quest text. If not beginning a sentence or string, "de Vries" is the correct capitalization Improving Fairfield crowd animation usage Fixed issue with corpse display name being incorrect Lucy the sick Crabble has been ingesting too much PurpleBerry Krunch - feeding her more will now be reflected visually. Assuming he survived battle, Corbin exits Vox Relay after the failsafe is tripped Added the ability to tell Marshal Donelson in the Euphoria Coast Automech Repair Facility that you'd already fixed the leak when you converse with him after the initial argument scene. The following contains spoilers: (Spoiler) Quest giver for Inez’s companion quest was incorrectly showing up when Inez was dead (Spoiler) Addressed edge case for when a player gains Vox keycards from Euphoria Automech Repair Center. Player should no longer miss the Execution scene in the Vox Relay. Combat & Systems Fixes Fixed mine traps sometimes not damaging characters when triggered Fixed Zyranium hazards not applying poison in some states Characters no longer unexpectedly take explosive damage through walls or objects. "Unknown Station" radio notification shows up consistently Adjusted landscape heights for improved NPC pathing. Companions will be able to keep up with the player better immediately following recruitment to the party. Updating collision for smoother gameplay. Gloop grenades no longer break conversations in some cases. Added cover nodes for encounters that were previously missing them. Burrowed crabbles no longer play loop animation or vfx when they are not moving If an NPC ever fails to navigate out of their spawn door, they are teleported out and debug information is gathered about the incident. Player will no longer mimic reloads when entering the player ship with no ammo in the weapon Characters will no longer make noises before they have been spawned into an encounter In combat sneak attack (such as from the Vital Striker perk) now applies sneak attack correctly rather than first squaring your sneak attack multiplier If an NPC ever fails to navigate out of their spawn door, they are teleported out and debug information is gathered about the incident. Fixed Thunderstruck projectile in third person. If an NPC ever fails to navigate out of their spawn door, they are teleported out and debug information is gathered about the incident. NPCs killed inside their spawn door are excluded. Fixed certain cases where combat would not drop despite player being hidden Improved camera framing during certain conversations. Players can now sell to the comestible vendor in [REDACTED] Updating a story-specific loading screen to show up at a more appropriate moment Player will only throw one grenade instead of two when spamming the throw button. The Consumerism flaw will now be offered more promptly for players who become eligible for it after already starting a game The game should no longer pause when closing the inventory if DLSS-FG is enabled. Companions will follow player through crouch tunnels. NPCs ranged firing patterns now carryover their current firing progress when switching AI behaviors, and do not do so when it makes sense for the pattern to restart. NPC corpses are now less likely to clip into objects. Improved collision accuracy on crabble meat pickups Fixed player being able to revive if they are falling to certain death but cancel with a different death cause Armor shoulder pads no longer disappear when using alternate shoulder in 3P. Player can no longer sprint while being mentally refreshed. Fixed the collision settings for the goo created by the Dematerializer gun, it won't block Player movement anymore. Characters no longer unexpectedly take explosive damage through walls or objects. Fixed some perks that require companions to be in the party activating when they are not in the party Fixed a rare issue where the player didn't die when they should have. (for example falling from high places) Fixed an issue where reloading while burst firing caused weapons to temporarily become unresponsive Prevent ship terminal beacon for quests from appearing on unused secret terminal Fixed an issue where hold interaction audio was lingering when opening menus. Flaws are now offered at the correct time Fixed issue where ash left over from plasma critical hits did not move with moving platforms Fixed an issue where weapons with Advanced Energy Modulator mod could skip animations in certain circumstances. The Head Curator can no longer be lured out of the display case Replaced Hammerclaw with a Bulletclaw to resolve Hammerclaw getting stuck during combat encounter. Fixed an issue where Elevator doors were not closed properly. Solved warping issues and made visual improvements to 3P Zyranium Automech Armor VFX Preventing your VALERIE unit from 'beep bop booping' into Ladders if you have climbed it Gary's footprint sounds are now correct NPC corpses are now less likely to clip into objects. Fixed a blending issue when companions crouch and put their weapon away at the same time. Mine model will no longer become stuck on player if they interrupt throw animation with parkour. Setting NPCs to more often sprint to cover instead of jog. Fixed Vendor that allowed tossball card to be restocked Updated level of detail settings on Protectorate Dragoons Fixed floor shadow artifacts on companions during movement. The Coagulant dispenser in Fairfield was incorrectly configured and let the player to create a second coagulant lite. Companions no longer stand in awkward positions when conversations begin under certain conditions. BunkerMechs now rotate their cannons to fire at their target while in combat Shooting a grenade out of the air with a shotgun no longer counts multiple times for the “Waylaid Grenade” achievement/trophy Force feedback effects will now work for the following weapons: Adrenaline-Edge MK3, Burst SMG, Emergency Stop, Repeating Rifle, Sentry Blade, Shock Assault Rifle, Zane's Blade Suppressionist now correctly benefits Last Whisper Agatha no longer deals less damage when firing from ADS. NPCs on Story, Hard, and Very Hard no longer take less or more non-physical damage type side-effects based on difficulty settings. The Tinkerer perk now correctly reflects how much extra damage you get per point of Engineering. Crabbles will now play locomotion VFX for crabble burrow attacks Niles will now wait a bit between reminders about crafting ammo Being Mentally Refreshed paves the way for new experiences Tossball Winger no longer triggers for Distraction Devices In certain cases, Aza's inventory is no longer marked as stealing Fixed an issue with the run animation when spinning around 180 degrees Added additional mods to vending machines Art Removed access to out of bounds areas Armor shoulder pads no longer disappear when using alternate shoulder in 3rd Person Improved collision for better player pathing Solved warping issues and made visual improvements to 3rd Person Zyranium Automech Armor VFX Improved collision for better player and NPC pathing Art improvements to misaligned assets Improved quality of shadows in Horizon Point station. Auntie Cleo's monitors no longer have artifacts Broken Crystal meshes now have correct material Eliminated visually stretched textures Improves collision to help with player pathing Addressing gaps in the Cloister landscape Improved shadowing in Alexandria Station floor Reduced brightness intensity of some lights in Golden Ridge Addressed pop-in on Cloister's frosted glass when see at a distance Improved exposure shifts when traveling from the inside of a building to the outside Removed access to out of bonds areas Flashlight improvements in third person Art improvements to misaligned secondary structures Art improvements to eliminate visual flickering issues within Paradise Island Art improvements to eliminate visual flickering issues within Cloister Art improvements to collision on rocks Art improvements to eliminate visual flickering issues within Golden Ridge Art improvements to eliminate visual flickering issues within Praetor Smoothed out landscape to improve player pathing. Art improvements to Cloister Revising asset placement for optimal player viewing. Art improvements to Paradise Island Art improvements to Cloister's overlands Animation Fixed issue where player was able to obtain items behind glass casing. Crowd characters now ignore old corpses just like everyone else. Addressed issue where using the AutoDoc right after using the Inhaler will cause the animations to not play properly. Player can no longer sneak attack enemies through glass. Reduce crowd avoidance radius to reduce awkward back and forth dancing. Player will no longer mimic reloads when entering the player ship with no ammo in the weapon Fixed Thunderstruck projectile in third person. Fixed Dagmar occasionally looking at ceiling during conversation. Move companions out of the way when speaking to Rollo Nast Scoped guns will no longer get stuck on player’s chest when holstered. Player will only throw one grenade instead of two when spamming the throw button. Player no longer gets stuck with movement not respecting input after combat pivot Distraction device shouldn't show up anymore if you cancel the animation in 1st Person and switch to 3rd Person Fixed player being able to revive if they are falling to certain death but cancel with a different death cause When doing a full body animation it should not rotate the lower body anymore and then slide back Weapon no longer rotates when leaving throwable animation state in 3rd Person Fix weapon-based body idle issue when exiting conversation with an equipped weapon Adjusted reloading to look more natural Shooting will no longer interrupt medical animation Player arm doesn't freak out anymore after sliding into a forced cinematic or conversation Sentry ankles no longer completely disappear at a standing distance Fixed a blending issue when companions crouch and put their weapon away at the same time. Removing a slide on Niles when HPS landing pad conversation starts. Mine model will no longer become stuck on player if they interrupt throw animation with parkour. Setting NPCs to more often sprint to cover instead of jog. Fixing some gun sliding issue on Landing Pad Conversation in Horizon Point Station. Fixed Inez's scoliosis so she reloads her weapon in cover without breaking her spine. Player arm doesn't freak out anymore after sliding into a forced cinematic or conversation Updated level of detail settings on Protectorate Dragoons Adjustments have been made for the slide so throwables look better There should be no sudden shift anymore when you jump in non-combat No pop anymore when combat state changes in crouch The bredknife now plays knife animations instead of sword animations Made an adjustment so it looks better going from sprint to ADS Allow characters to overlap a bit more when trying to avoid intersecting to reduce the amount of left-right movement. Prevented second companion from standing in awkward places during Marisol quest conversation. Adjusted the framing for the conversation in Golden Ridge with Wojtek so that character is framed more clearly on camera. Player no longer plays 2h animation when quick turning while unarmed in 3rd Person Adjusting timing on keycard interaction when using Willard's Terminal NC pivots should not over rotate anymore The inhaler and the N-Ray gadget animation now work when you are holding ADS in P3P Player head now looks forward when you stand still and look at your character Adjusted Fades before events that play out in Vox Relay. Glued shoulder pads back onto our 2-handed handgun users so they no longer fly. Adjusted the blend spaces so there is less sliding when we tilt slowly on the controller Adjusted the blend spaces so there is less sliding when we tilt slowly on the controller Added audio to long burst first raise Removed access to out of bonds areas Resolved issue where Voice of the Refugees would stop looking at player while she was speaking to them mid conversation. First raise audio should not play anymore if you do a first raise and then go into crouch in p3p Adjusted quick melee for the 2-handed pistol Removed possibility of seeing some full screen effects on player ship when you should not be able to see them. Added a slight delay to the second Melee Heavy attack when spamming attack button in 3P Removed slight wobble when player holds 2-handed power attack Flashlight improvements in 3rd Person Equip animations are playing if you swap weapons during sliding Adjusted reloading to look more natural Cleaned up some cinematic fades and UI visibility during Tristan's companion quest Adjust collision on Science Interactable to be more reliable to shoot around. Slightly toned-down lower body movement when you would jump while you are in combat Adjusted mine throw blending so it looks more natural Added some shoulder movement when you aim up, so it should look more natural Adjusted setup of Main Menu Moon Man's leg bolts for certain outfits. The following contains spoilers: (Spoiler) Updated animations during critical cinematic sequence on Greater Tranquility Station (Spoiler) Adjusted Fades before events that play out in Vox Relay. UI/UX Updating Widescreen presentation on the End Slides Polish and Russian Translation updated for the term “Cosmetics“ Players can no longer access the HDR Calibration menu during Conversations Steam Deck will not show keyboard icons unless an external keyboard is being used Protecting a potential crash in the post-tutorial character creation screen Improved visual presentation of Palm Greaser perk when used for conversational bribes. Totals for all ammo types now display correctly in the toolbelt and its associated tooltip. Items sold on the vendor screen no longer have 'new item' pips The default buy amount is now 50% of what is affordable, rather than 100%. The crafting screen will now show the correct value for the current number of inhaler charges. Item tooltip now updates properly on item transfer screen. Notification pop-ups should no longer show a white square when looking at signposts Selling all Junk keeps current items visible on Vendor Screen Updating hierarchy and fill settings of the description entries in the Codex Journal to prevent issues seen with overlapping header/body text Touch screen works properly on handheld devices In the Quest Items tab of the inventory, the “Inspect” button will only show up for Quest Items that are examinable, or that have descriptions that are too long to display without a pop-up. Fixed Archivist Noelani's text not advancing for a specific ending to her conversation. When the setting "Show Base Item Stats" is off, grenades will properly scale their reported damage based on the Explosives skill Save/Load Menu will properly update the list position after deleting a previous Save game Leaving the Load Menu will now restart the Moon Man Conversation an appropriate number of times Cleaning up formatting of Addendums and Optional presentation in the Journal and Quest Log Ensuring Main Menu Options reappear when leaving the Load Menu and restarting the Conversation Hovered Map entries no longer present 'Next' when unable to provide that functionality Addressing edge case seen where conversation history might flicker when it is on the cusp of needing a scrollbar Color picker dropdowns are now exclusive to each other in Settings Audio Pump Station is now x% more electrifying in tight vents Bridge sound always plays when lowering "Unknown Station" radio notification shows up consistently Exploration music increases in intensity when near hostile characters outside of combat. Attractions in Matriarch's Tomb now with improved audio systems. Characters will no longer make noises before they have been spawned into an encounter Added missing sounds to Marisol/Svoboda cut scene "Added ducking behavior to Player Radio so that it ducks in conversation state and extended range of attenuation on the dudes stranded in the lift" Skip drive ambience improvements The notification for when a new radio station is available is now limited to only newly discovered stations Curator in the tube, now with even more tube. Improved radio music shuffling by having it remember song history through a fast travel Added audio to long burst first raise Sound effects will no longer cut out while idling near a wall The following contains spoilers: (Spoiler) Remixed Sovereign's Ship music (Spoiler) Made adjustments for a more impactful execution in Vox Relay submitted by /u/Malkoy to r/theouterworlds [link] [comments]

The hold has a20ft diameter and is roughly 2 feet deep Some friends suggested a fire pit which I like the idea of. I'm new to landscaping and would love to learn some things on this project. Is a fire pit possible or should I just buy dirt to fill it back up? submitted by /u/Caregiver_ to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

So basically.. I bought a best way 18x48 about a month ago.. set it up on uneven ground resulting in 7 inch water level difference and broke everything down and set up in a new location, saw 2.0-2.5" in level difference but it was up but I hated the location in the back yard and wanted it to be better. So I started attempting to level the ground in the original area and man oh man I'm not great at any landscaping task apparently but I'm trying my best LOL Many MANY shovels full of dirt later I'm thinking it's level, set up and seeing a 3" water level difference from side to side so I stop and pumped out what little water I had put in, broke everything down and attempted to continue trying to level the ground based on what I was seeing the water doing. I put it back up and then was seeing a 2" level difference and NGL that was pushing a psychotic break 😅 I originally had planned to put 12x12x1.75 pavers under all of the support legs, however I just went ahead and put them under the side that was seeing the higher water level difference and after giving it some time to settle I'm not seeing only about a 1-1.25" difference in water level, my question is to all the above ground pool warriors : Could I possibly just.. leave it with half pavers under the sagging side? Could I go and get perhaps some thinner wood to put under the other legs so I don't lose the progress on water level difference? Should I suck it up and drain it out again and work on leveling it more and risk the physchotic break?? Or if there is any other advise I would love to hear it! I tried to attach any pictures I thought would help! submitted by /u/Opposite-Engine-1625 to r/AboveGroundPools [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/sveeger to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/SullyyMr to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/spicedpumpkins Not really a cat person. HOW do I gently stop neighbor's cat from bringing me dead things? Originally posted to r/cats Thanks to u/La_Dame_Va_Se_Facher & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Original Post Sept 11, 2024 I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Update 1 Sept 12, 2024 In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. 1) My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day 2) My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. 3) The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. 4) I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Update 2 Sept 22, 2024 First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm brining it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they were moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was brining it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way to used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's really just super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually is "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/spicedpumpkins posting in r/cats Concluded as per OOP Update One - Short Update Two - Longish Original - 11th September 2024 Update One - 12th September 2024 Update Two - 22nd September 2024 ***Original**\* I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Comments Prestigious-Beach190 Many cats prefer to be left alone unless they specifically ask for attention, so you've probably been the perfect friend for this cat. Bringing you dead prey demonstrates that: the cat loves you and is taking care of you by bringing you food. Stopping that will likely be difficult. The cat will probably continue to 'feed' you for as long as he or she loves you. So unless you can find a way to keep the cat off your property (or make him/her stop loving you), there's no real solution to your predicament. Elmindria You need to assert yourself as a self sufficient hunter and present it with dead things yourself. That way it knows you are capable and not going to die if it stops providing for you. It likes you but is concerned you won't survive without it's assistance. Karanosz Cats WANT us to honor their boundaries. You do just that. You show a lot of respect to it without even knowing. Petting when asks for it like when it rubs to you, you even fulfill it asking for attention. So now, it brings you tributes and gifts, to deepen this well kicked off relationship even more. It's a form of courtesy. This cat wants to be your friend and wants you to acknowledge that by accepting the offerings and giving it affection when it brings them. My cat does it too. Lizards, bugs, back long ago birds, for which I scolded her so she didn't bring me dead/dying birbs anymore. But otherwise it's better to pretend that you accept it, and getting rid of it unseen if you are willing to deepen your bond with the cat. Or scold it for it. If you want to sever the relationship, do it coldly, and harshly verbally. Do not hurt it physically. If you really don't want the cat to even interact with you anymore you can push it away with your leg when it rubs to it. I would definitely not have the heart to do that though. I would melt and praise it like a god for the random adoption(it adopting me). It's such a kind thing from such a normally selfish creature as a cat. **UPDATE 1 DAY LATER*\* In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Comments Feline_Shenanigans I know you are frustrated but this is hilarious. Kitty has decided that you are theirs to care for. Since cat is older, it sounds like kitty might be losing their sense of smell. Or is one of those rare cats that LOVES vinegar (my furry bastard is one of those). I’m curious how the cat reacts to your wife. If they aren’t impressed it might be worth getting permission from her to borrow her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc. for a few days to see if smelling more like another human has an impact. Might also be worth asking some gardening subs for advice on how to step up your anticide. Or possibly consider accepting that the neighbourhood granny cat has decided that you aren’t eating properly and they need to feed you. O_Elbereth I had one that would roll itself into spilled pickle or olive brine and act like it was catnip. Every once in a while there's a weird one. anonny42357 I had one that was obsessed with carrots. Carrots and booze. She never met any type of booze she didn't like, except one particularly expensive (and disgusting IMHO) bottle of scotch. You had to not only keep your drinks covered, but hold the covers down, because once she realized you had alcohol, she got very pushy about it. I never let her have more than the single drop remaining at the bottom of the wine glass )because lol) , but if noobs were around, she would dunk her entire arm into their drink, even though I warned them to watch out. She lived to 16. I miss her. anonny42357 Wine from the glass is funnier when she had to reach in all the way up to her armpit to reach it. Even funnier was that she would get so into licking that sweet sweet nectar of the gods\ off her foot, that you could switch the wine glass for a wine glass of water without her noticing. If she turned around and put her foot in that and licked it only to realize it was common poor-people water, she would give you one hell of a stink eye.* Apparently my aunt got drunk and gave the cat a bit too much, and when mom cut off both the aunt any the cat, the cat got mean about it, which everyone found hilarious. \she thought it was sweet nectar. Amusingly, I don't actually like wine, and I rarely drink. I'm pretty sure that cat consumed alcohol on more occasions in her 16 years than I have in my whole 40!* \* I feel the need to shoehorn something in there about water? Like from the toilet? But electrolytes!* Maggiemayday You are The Chosen One. There is little you can do except accept the sacrificial offerings with grace and set out ant traps. Careful-Drama You could try going in the other direction - love bomb the cat. Pick it up for forced cuddles. (This is how I trained mine to stop waking me up in the night - now he cuddles with my husband who is gentle and wakes to pat him.) Chase it yelling 'here kitty kitty'. Wake it for cuddles if ever you find it sleeping. They often love the most on those who want nothing to do with them. Now of course, this can backfire. In which case, enjoy your new cat! ***UPDATE 11 DAYS LATER**\* First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved in with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm bringing it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was bringing it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way too used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's just really super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. Comments Jeldenil Kevin sounds like a great vet. I laughed out loud at his demonstration about how your new best friend is 'broken'. dutchy_chris You forgot the cat tax. translucent_steeds in 6 months his wife is going to post under r/dadswhodidnotwantpets OP note: Newton's cradle OOP forgot to pay the cat tax and updated it. Unsurprised to see the cat's color isorange. r/OneOrangeBraincell I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/attachedtothreads to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

ELBY at Barndominium lookout. Sorry I didn't realize it was custom to post the picture. YES there is a photoshop artifact near his right ear (your left) as I had to remove a window showing pictures of my kids original post here Update here First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved in with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm bringing it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things weregoing through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was bringing it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way too used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's just really super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping to find him sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. submitted by /u/spicedpumpkins to r/cats [link] [comments]

I’m tempted to just order a new 24 foot pool and put it back up this coming spring. Here are some photos of the deck that fits flushed to the above ground pool in the area around it. Anybody have any cool ideas for landscaping this out? submitted by /u/Ambitious-Wealth-500 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I am a new owner to a beautiful space on a hill. The previous owners took their above ground pool out and created a fire pit area with a poor retaining wall and posts that are concreted in the ground. The first photo is what it looked like the day we moved in. Pictures 2-4 are how much the ground receded with the rock outline falling into the landscaping. The last photo is what I did yesterday, filling the space with some mulch and re-outlining the landscaping. I know this is a temporary solution, but I would love to hear if anyone had any advice on how to save this section of my yard. I would hate for the wall to eventually fail all together, and I want to prevent the lawn from receding more. This is in southern Michigan and the soil is mostly silt. I would imagine that I need to find some draining solutions. I just don’t even know where to begin. Any thoughts or tips would be very much appreciated submitted by /u/Lazy_Distribution_59 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

First | Previous | Next “It should come as no surprise to any within this room that this ritual was doomed from the beginning.” A thunderous voice boomed, one that was promptly isolated and traced by the drone to that of a familiar white-robed dean. Everything about the elf, from the way he stood to his tone of voice, was saturated with an air of terse authority which was now reinforced with a dismissive and snide passive aggressiveness. “I would tread the subject matter which you broach very carefully, Professor Astur.” The unmistakable monotone of the black-robed Mal’tory responded in kind. “Self-fulfilling prophecies are unbecoming of figures of authority such as yourself. You of all people should know, that should failure arise from this ritual, and should the proper channels be informed, that any and all verbiage that can be construed as seditious will be investigated.” The man stepped forward, walking around the devastated landscape that was quickly being reassembled back into its original, undamaged state. “A standard ritual of duplicity, performed by planar-class mages, all graduates of the Academy no less; failing in a manner that hasn’t been seen since the summonings of dawn? Why, if I were to place myself in the shoes of his majesty’s investigator-general, I would place the blame not on faulty mana-pools, or a peculiarity in extraneous circumstances, but on purposeful undermining of Academy ritual-protocols.” “Just be a man and be out with it, Professor.” An annoyed, elderly female voice entered the fray. The red-robed professor all but pushed herself in front of a frayed and frazzled blue-robed Vanavan who had yet to have cast his hat into the ring. “If you’re going to be throwing around accusations then be blunt with what is being accused. Will it be sabotage? Or will it be sedition against the crown? Perhaps today we shall sprinkle in a dash of obstruction of protocol and decorum into the mix? Don’t beat around the bush, you quill-pushing, lazy, ignorant, taint-ridden, mouthpiece!” Instead of the expected return of vitriol, Mal’tory simply stood firm, cold, and calm, his face betraying only the slightest hints of annoyance to the vitriolic finger-pointing. “I will respond out of respect for your years of service, Professor, and indeed, out of the fact that I am still to this day your pupil.” That cold calm collectedness however vanished for a split second, if only to reinforce the power dynamics in the room. “With your advanced age, I believe it wouldn’t be my place to remind you not to conflate my respect for your person, with my respect for your station. So please. Do help me retain that respect for your person, by ensuring that I do not lose my respect for your station, Professor Belnor.” A brief standoff was had between the two professors, which was promptly broken by the frayed Vanavan who was still reeking of nervousness and anxiety. His facial expressions all but locked in a permanent haze of indecision. “Professors, please. Let us place the failures of the ritual behind us and focus on what truly is at stake. The safety of those within the castle grounds. What we really must worry about now is how best to deal with this… this runaway null.” Vanavan interjected, as he attempted to veer the conversation away from the heated personal attacks and back towards whatever the whole situation was about in the first place. “Aye, it will be difficult.” The red-robed professor responded with an exasperated sigh, turning towards Vanavan and purposefully allowing Mal’tory’s ultimatum to bounce right off of her. “The null’s lacking in a mana-field, similar to the girl. The soulpath map will be useless, and we can’t have the gargoyles roaming the halls lest we raise further suspicion and incite panic. This is not even putting into consideration the fact that doing so will be a violation of the unspoken truce under the precedence set by the grace period. A precedent which I believe none of us here wishes to change, not when we are now staring down the face of not one, but two unknowns.” “The girl is not our primary concern, not right now at the very least.” The dean proclaimed, as his eyes shifted towards that of the plinth, and the bear-like figure, still completely still and lifeless in the corner of the room. “Our primary concern should be the recapture of this null, and its immediate destruction before the situation unravels even further than it already has.” A collective murmur of agreement echoed throughout the room at that. “Mal’tory.” The Dean continued. “Since it was your department’s decree that the ritual of duplicity be enacted, it falls on your head to clean up your untended mess.” Another stareoff quickly ensued between Mal’tory and the dean, but this time, it was clear whose argument had won out as Mal’tory gave the shortest of bows in acquiescence; only to land that sharp gaze on a figure that stood just in front of the drone’s field of view. “I think our apprentice has certainly seen her fair share of how Academy interdepartmental relations are handled.” Mal’tory announced in that signature monotone, this time with a clear undertone of sarcastic intent. The Dean quickly interjected as he turned his attention to the apprentice in question, his voice shifting from one of absolute authority to one of a more fatherly, patronizing tone. “Step forward, Larial, you have not barged into a conversation you were not privy to. You will, after all, be standing where I stand in due course. It is necessary for you to see it all, every angle of the Academy, from its greatest successes to crises such as this. Indeed, it is not enough to merely be an observer, but to actively partake in such critical junctions.” “The Apprentice does need to complete her prerequisite experience criterion in Crisis Mitigation, this would be a perfect time for her to gain some real world experience.” Mal’tory offered. “With a null?! Absolutely not!” The red robed professor quickly shot back, taking a few steps closer towards Mal’tory as she seethed. “How long should we shelter our own before they one day take our places? Would you wish for an individual with no experience in the handling of critical crises to stand by your side as you face off with another Unbidden? Or perhaps a mass-null crisis? Or a collapse of the book of souls? Could you see yourself on that day, amidst a crowd of inexperienced newbloods, and feel confident in your chances of survival, let alone successes?” Mal’tory shot back with little in the way of emotion, speaking as if he was pulling the situation from the pages of a history book rather than straight out of his own ass. It was at this point that Vanavan found it in him to step up to the plate once more. “Professor, please, the Academy isn’t an institution preparing for war-” Only to be shot down by Mal’tory before he could even make his point. “But it is an institution that must be ready for crises. The null situation we face is barely considered a crisis in the grander scheme of things. If you aren’t ready to allow your apprentices to face such a threat, then I fear for the threats that we will inevitably face in the coming years.” Mal’tory interjected, but this time, there was something distinctly different about his tone of voice. It was one of the few, if not the first instance where he was actually being genuine. There was a look in his eyes that didn’t quite match that same glassy, aloof attitude he always seemed to have. There was something there that he wasn’t telling the rest of the faculty. This fact was not lost on the dean who had maintained careful eye contact with the black-robed professor, only to cut it off, as if signaling that the topic wasn’t worth pursuing. At least not right now. Belnor, however, was clearly adamant on pushing forward her warnings. “Professor Astur, please. You know for a fact what a null is capable of, and you understand it will stop at nothing to accomplish its twisted aims.” She pleaded with the dean, who remained completely silent on the matter. “Professor, please… it will stop at nothing to achieve what we failed to create.” These pleas fell on deaf ears however as the dean simply gave a nod of approval to Mal’tory, who relayed his orders to the apprentice without hesitation. “Apprentice.” The man spoke, eliciting an immediate response in the form of the elf taking a knee in a display of respect. “What will you have me do, Professor?” Larial spoke with her head bowed low. “You are tasked with tracking down the whereabouts of Emma Booker’s null. You will be given limited authority over the gargoyles of the halls and their sight for the duration of this assignment. In addition, should you believe yourself to be capable, you are to attempt to use all force necessary to neutralize the threat posed by the null. Doing so will grant you a Privy Seal commendation on this semester’s final report.” Mal’tory laid out each and every word with his signature inflexion of authority. One that was in equal measures dismissive, yet overbearing. Belnor had opened her mouth in protest once again, getting so far as to let the first few huffs of indignant breaths out, only to be held back by Vanavan as he gripped her shoulder tight. “I accept this assignment humbly, Professor.” The apprentice responded, not once lifting her head up to face the man. “Then so be it. I expect an in-person update this evening. Do not disappoint us.” Mal’tory concluded, waving the apprentice away as the group of professors now moved towards the bear in the far corner of the room. The footage cut off there, with the drone making a beeline for the door following the apprentice’s leave. With that entire exchange having concluded, I leaned back deeper into the plush couch with a heavy thud, feeling the rough frame of my exoskeleton biting into my joints as I hissed out expletives at the suit’s haptic feedback for not giving me relief when I most needed it. “There’s… a lot to be unpacked here.” I managed out with an exasperated sigh. “First off, anyone here know what a ritual of duplicity or a null is?” I turned to both Thacea and Thalmin, both of whom responded with varying degrees of the same response: no. “Alright…” I took another breath, winding back the footage to confirm a suspicion that had been gnawing at me throughout its entire runtime. “That.” I pointed, freezing the image on the bear-like figure with half of its face obscured by a hood, or some sort of cloth. “That broach.” I highlighted, then juxtaposed the drone’s footage to that of the recording of our earlier interactions with the gaggle of nobles, zooming in to Uven in particular. “And these anthropometric parameters.” The footage was interlaced with a grid layout, as the precise measurements of both Uven and the mystery bear in the labs were analyzed, revealing a precise match with the only exception being the mystery bear’s obscured face. “Heavily imply that we’re dealing with Uven having been in two places at once.” I stated in no uncertain terms. “Does Uven have some sort of a twin brother or another member of his family currently serving at the Academy?” I asked plainly. A brief few moments of silence punctuated this line of questioning, one that I expected a resounding ‘we don’t know’ from either of the two. Thacea, however, clearly had the right idea as she brought out the orientation letter from the previous night, the one that listed out the professors and faculty present within the academy. I had no idea how vital this piece of intel would be until now, as we both scanned the document line by line, as well as the animated portraits on the parchments, but it was easy to strike out the idea of Uven’s relatives being in the faculty almost immediately. As there were no bears in any of the portraits present. “So. I guess we’re left with a pretty big question here.” I rewound the footage, pointing at the timestamps on both the drone’s and my helmetcam’s footage. “Look, the two were recorded barely 10 seconds apart. How the hell was he in two places at once?” I voiced out with distress as any semblance of Earth logic was clearly of no use here. “A class of illusionary spell which replicates an image of the person in another location? A costuming spell that allows for one to temporarily assume the superficial likeness of another?” Thacea offered, none of which made any sense given there didn’t seem to be a need for it. “Though I don’t see a reason to go through the effort. I apologize Emma, I cannot for the life of me fathom this incongruence in logic.” “You guys said you didn’t know anything about this duplicity ritual, or whatever the fuck a null was. Maybe the answer is staring us right in the face?” I theorized. “Thacea, you mentioned replicating the likeness of another right? What if that’s what the Uven doppelganger was? And what if this whole null thing is something related to that?” I offered. “That’s not how illusionary spells work, Emma.” The avian replied bluntly. “They’re transient, and I’ve never once heard the term null being used in the context of any illusionary or light spell.” I paused, considering the situation as I broached another possibility. “Maybe, just maybe, they’re trying to clone whoever’s bound to the book? That’d explain the whole Uven situation. It’d explain why Mal’tory prefaced the null by saying Emma Booker’s null. Maybe they were trying to clone me from the book? And for some reason, Uven as well?” I offered, basically throwing it all out there as the pair stared back at me with a look of absolute confusion. “I don’t know what you mean by cloning, Emma.” Thalmin responded simply. “But if you’re implying what I think you’re implying, that being the creation of another version of yourself from a soulbound signature… then I’ve never heard of such a thing.” The mercenary prince confessed. “Thalmin is right, Emma.” The princess offered. “I understand this is your first exposure to our world, and to the capabilities of magic. It is difficult to gauge what is and isn’t possible, but what you’re describing is one of the aspects of known magic that is simply in the realm of impossibility.” A silence quickly descended on the room after that, with no one willing to break it. Until finally, Thacea decided to continue where she left off. “Unless… of course, that it is possible, and we both are simply ignorant of it.” The princess admitted with a sharp chirp. “There is only one place I can think of where we may be able to uncover the truth behind the ritual of duplicity and the true nature of these nulls.” Thacea offered, which certainly caught my full and undivided attention. “Yeah?” “The library.” The avian spoke succinctly. The entire chain of events leading up to this point just outright snapped at this idea, as every fiber of my being refused to believe what I’d just heard. I turned back to Thalmin, who instead of hosting what should have been a look of similar incredulous disbelief had simply shifted to a look of minor doubt, as if the proposal was somehow reasonable enough to even entertain as an option worth exploring. “Are you serious?” I snapped back. “Yes.” Thacea replied with a cock of her head, as if unable to grasp just why this was a bad idea. I let out another sigh as I attempted to grip my forehead, resulting in my hands once again bonking against the glass and composites of my helmet; the armor refusing to let me emote as much as I would’ve liked to. “Thacea, wouldn’t the library be the last place in the world we should be headed to? It’s literally part of the Academy, and the whole place is under the iron fist of an administration conspiring against us. If we were to waltz in, request a book on the hot topic of the day, wouldn’t that raise a few red flags with the librarian? Or wouldn’t some alarm be raised, notifying the administration that a student just so happens to be interested in an obscure, scarcely known topic, that coincidentally lines up with the current struggles faced by the upper brass?” I offered, not once realizing that perhaps things might have worked differently here. Earth, the UN, and the entirety of humanity had been spoiled by an age of unbridled access to information. The past 1000 years of human history since the invention of the internet was, without a doubt, a game changer in the mentality of every single generation since its inception. Yet as much as information was freely available, so too was it capable of being flagged by the appropriate authorities. This was a given, at least in my mind, so much so that it never occurred to me that this might have been the point where I finally took a deep dive into fundamental systemic incongruency. Because after nearly thirty generations of constant exposure to the internet, and by extension twelve generations of exposure to the infosphere, was enough to establish a set of fundamental beliefs so ingrained that it was difficult to really think outside of it. Part of me realized that was the case as soon as I’d finished laying out my points. But still. Wouldn’t it just make sense for a place so embroiled in its political games, to be on top of the information restriction game? “Those are entirely valid concerns to have, Emma.” Thacea responded with a heavy nod. “And they would be entirely pertinent to our current predicament and directional course, if the library was in fact, an Academy-bound institution.” There was a brief pause where Thacea took the time to establish eye contact with me. Looking right at me through my opaque lenses with those sharp, calculating eyes of hers. It took a second, but I realized what she was doing. She was pausing for dramatic effect. A gotcha moment, that was so out of character that I had to do a double take just as she’d already departed with the rest of the conversation. “Thankfully, that is not the case, and it has never been the case from the inception of The Library, and the Academy. For both were established for vastly different purposes, by two entirely different parties, which to this day, maintain the same agreements set forth by their respective charters.” I turned back to Thalmin to gauge his reaction, which had remained the same stalwart look of apprehension. “The princess is right.” The mercenary prince spoke with a heavy sigh. “However, the library is a place of trickery and deceit.” He warned, as he got up and stretched, holding both arms behind his head as he continued to speak his mind. “The princess will have more knowledge on this matter than I do, I admit. However, I am not entirely illiterate on the topic of the Nexus and its deeper lore. The fact of the matter is, the library is an enigma, and a living antithesis to its very existence. Legends speak of a great ivory tower, holding all worldly and magical knowledge. A tower which is supposed to be accessible to all, no matter what their station. Yet was built atop a sheer cliff face, precariously overlooking a waterfall, with the only known passage being a small bridge originating from within the Academy’s grounds. It claims to offer knowledge to all, yet it requires magical accumum to comb its great archives. It claims no allegiance but to the spirit of knowledge, yet it constructs enigmatic rules which serve no one but itself.” The explanation felt like it was equal measures, a fairy tale being recounted, and a bitter disenfranchised partisan venting his frustrations. It was a strange dichotomy that honestly felt like tonal whiplash, but then again, tonal whiplash was starting to become the norm here rather than the exception. I craned my head over to face Thacea, as if to gauge whether or not these explanations were in fact, valid. I was met with a careful pondering look of reflection, which very much matched what the avian had to say in response. “Those are the primary issues with the Library, albeit abbreviated and embellished.” Thacea admitted. “As many would say, the library works in mysterious ways. Yet it is the only equalizer in an otherwise Nexus-dominated reality. Yes, it is meant to be accessible to all, but it positions itself in such a way that makes that relatively difficult for the average commoner to access, let alone discover what they seek without the aid of magic.” It was at that point that I decided to make an executive decision. “All I need to know is if this library is in fact a separate entity, and won’t rat us out to the Academy.” I made sure to maintain eye contact with the other two, despite knowing it probably meant nothing given the helmet. “I’m really trusting you guys on this one here, so just answer me that one simple question.” Both Thacea and Thalmin locked eyes, and nodded simultaneously. “That is correct.” The pair responded. “Then that’s all I need to know. Let’s head to this library, figure out what the hell a null is, what this ritual of duplicity is, and get back on track to getting the bomb situation sorted, because I’m starting to get really annoyed by all this sidequesting.” I made my intentions clear, and with little in the way of anything else to add, the three of us left the dorms with Thacea leading the way. The Transgracian Academy for the Magical Arts, En Route to The Library. Local Time: 1050 Hours. Unlike many of the other locations we’d previously entered over the course of the day and a half, the library actually required us to exit the main structure of the castle for the very first time. A pair of unassuming double doors marked the end of the castle proper, and the start of something completely breathtaking. Through those double doors was a massive open expanse of sky. Or at least, that’s what it felt like at first as we were met with nothing but open space on all sides, with the exception of a narrow, stone bridge barely two bodies wide in front of us. The spindly, narrow bridge was all that connected the castle to the stark white tower that stood ominously in front of us. A tower which soared at least a hundred stories overhead, perched atop of what could only be described as a small rocky outcropping on the other side of the waterfall that I’d noticed from the Grand Dining Hall just earlier this morning. The structure was bland, resembling a cylindrical pillar of pure white that pierced the misty fog above us. Indeed, it was completely separate from the Academy, connected only by a walkway that didn’t even look like it could support Thalmin’s weight, let alone my weight. The cacophonous roaring of the water around us was logged at a deafening 91 decibels, and would’ve been overwhelming if it wasn’t for my suit and my decade spent in the heart of the noise capital of the world: the Acela Corridor. ALERT: LOCALIZED SURGE OF MANA-RADIATION DETECTED, 200% ABOVE BACKGROUND RADIATION LEVELS I heard the suit bark at me a total of two times, the source of these spikes in mana radiation quickly being narrowed down to both Thacea and Thalmin. It was clear that they’d probably used some sort of magic to deal with the deafening sound from the waterfall as well. Thacea took the lead in walking forward towards this awe inspiring structure, not once flinching as I took it upon myself to follow, confident that whatever magic that was behind the impossibility of this structure would somehow keep it stable as I walked over to the other side. There was a single, unassuming timber door that provided the only entry between the world outside and the massive tower which we now stood at the base of. Unlike everything in the Academy, its design was unassuming, bland, and dare I say very commoner-looking. There were no embellishments, no golden trimmings, but at the same time, the timber and steel looked as if it had shrugged off any corrosion or wear and tear that would’ve been expected in an environment this extreme. Regardless, I allowed the Princess to once again take point, as she gave the door a series of carefully timed knocks. Seconds passed. And we received no response. It was only after a minute had passed before the door finally opened, revealing a space that should not have been possible as far as euclidean geometry was concerned. The base of the structure from the outside was barely 140 feet in diameter. The room I was currently standing in, in stark contrast, was larger than the largest of the mega-stadiums down south. Suffice it to say the size of the space within the spire was well beyond the dimensions we’d seen of it on the outside, and the cause behind this phenomenon became very much apparent in the form of a simple alert. ALERT: INCREASE IN BACKGROUND MANA-RADIATION DETECTED, 400% ABOVE BENCHMARK BACKGROUND RADIATION LEVELS. The place was bathed in a heavy uptick in mana, which was more than likely the source of all of this non euclidean tomfoolery. “What is it you seek?”A voice suddenly peeped up. Though it wasn’t anything grand as I’d expected, nor was it something that would’ve fit the bill of being even remotely intimidating. Instead, it was a squeaky, cordial voice, that didn’t come from another stuck-up elf or some self-deluded noble, no. Instead, I had to look down to determine the source of that voice, as I was met face to face with someone, or rather, something I never expected. Coming in at barely a foot in height, was a red fox with a book wedged inside its maw. One that sat patiently with both of its paws politely splayed out in front of it. Its fluffy, feather-duster-like tail swishing to and fro, its eyes transfixed not on Thacea who was closest to it, nor at Thalmin, but at me. First | Previous | Next ​ (Author’s Note: Hey guys we're really moving forward here as we see yet more of what the Academy has in store and we push forward with more plans! I hope you guys enjoy, also I'm trying to create a subreddit right now for my stories so stay tuned for that! :D The next Chapter is already up on Patreon if you guys are interested in getting early access to future chapters!) [If you guys want to help support me and these stories, here's my ko-fi ! And my Patreon for early chapter releases (Chapter 18 of this story is already out on there!)] submitted by /u/Jcb112 to r/HFY [link] [comments]

I was six years old when my mum and I moved in with nana. Mum and dad were always arguing, and sometimes there was hitting. So she took me and left. Nana loved us, but she also loved solitude. I could always tell when I'd asked too many questions or was playing too loudly. So I'd take myself outside, weather permitting, and leave her in peace. That's how I met Solomon. It was many years ago, but this is how six year old me remembers the experience. Mum was at work. Nana had her feet up, smoking a cigarette as she watched morning television. I was playing on the floor with toy cars. I'd received a road mat the previous Christmas and, despite it now being summer, I still wasn't bored of it. I pushed the cars around the printed city making sound effects. "Ben," said nana, not angry but stern. I looked up, her matter-of-fact expression telling me everything. "Sorry nana," I said. She smiled and it warmed her. "It's alright, sweetheart. But nanny's trying to watch telly." I nodded. "I think I'll go play outside." "Alright, come here," she said in a cloud of smoke, planting a big wet kiss on my cheek. "Don't go near the pond, remember?" "I won't nana," I said as I wiped my face. One thing about living there was I had no friends. There were no kids anywhere near our house. I had started primary school but the few kids I played with there lived too far away. So I had to entertain myself. It was a great garden. Lots of space to run around, roll around, climb trees. There was even a blackberry bush. Nana said I was allowed to eat a few a day, but I had to wash them first because of bugs and bird poo. You also had to be very careful when picking them because they grew on thorny stalks. At the very bottom of the garden was a pond. It wasn't too big, maybe two metres wide at most. There used to be fish in it but when they died, nana didn't get new ones. Grandad used to like the fish, nana wasn't too fussed. It had become a bit wild, taken over by algae and water beetles. I had a football that I'd kick around sometimes. After I'd picked and eaten a few blackberries, having washed them under the outside tap, I looked around for it. It was floating on the surface of the pond. "Oh no!" I said to myself, like it was the end of the world. I looked back at the house and pictured nana engrossed in her programmes. I decided that she would never know. It was too far to reach by hand with my little arms, but a long stick would help. There were plenty of those to be found. So I grabbed one and stood about a foot away from the edge of the pond. It had a kind of swampy, humid smell to it. There were sections where the algae separated and there was an abundance of life to be seen. Lots of tiny creatures swimming, wriggling, squirming. Very few kids have the ability to think logically. Or that's my excuse anyway. In hindsight, I should have just laid on my front to take away any danger of falling in. I think in my head, I didn't like the idea of my face being too close to the water. It looked kinda gross. So foolishly, I tried to reach it by bending over and stretching my arms. And that's when I toppled over. Up to that point I'd never been to a pool. I'd never even been to a beach and paddled in the sea. The biggest expanse of water I'd ever been in was the bathtub. I couldn't swim. The most frustrating thing about that was how close the edge looked as my head tried to stay above the surface. My legs kicked out, my arms flailed. It's crazy how quickly your energy drains. I tried to scream for nana but I kept swallowing mouthfuls of stagnant, lukewarm water. I panicked, my head dropping below the surface. I'd emerge briefly, feeling clumps of algae stuck to my face before going back under. Eventually, it went dark. And then it wasn't again. I was choking up water laying a few feet away from the pond, soaking wet. I took in long deep breaths as I stared into the bright blue sky. I closed my eyes and started to feel tears coming on. Then came a voice. "Don't cry little one." It sounded like a man, but it wasn't a deep voice like my dad's. It was soft, and kind. It reminded me a little of my teacher Mr Woods, he always sounded cheerful. I turned my head from side to side, perched on my elbows. "Down here!" There was a frog sitting on my chest, softly croaking. Just a normal, greenish yellow frog with mottled skin. Its mouth was kind of upturned into a smile. A water beetle scurried in front of it and its tongue quickly flicked out to eat it. "Excuse me," it said, swallowing it down. I sat up and it hopped off my chest. "Di... Did you just speak?" I asked, confused. It nodded slowly, the pale skin under its chin inflating like a balloon as it breathed. "I did," it said. "Are you feeling better?" "Frogs can't talk!" I said, pinching my arm. It hurt, I wasn't dreaming. The frog chuckled warmly. "Well, technically I'm not a frog. I mean, I am. But that's not what I would have called myself. That's what your kind call me." I lowered my head a little, getting a closer look. "What do you mean my kind?" "Well, people. Humans. You are human, aren't you?" I nodded. "Yes, I'm a boy." It laughed. "I thought you might be. Do you have a name, little one?" I nodded again. "Ben, what's your name?" "Nice to meet you, Ben. I don't have a name, sadly." I frowned. "Why not?" Its front legs moved up slightly, like a shrug. "It's just not something we do. As far as I'm aware, I'm the only one of my kind who can talk like this. My mother couldn't have given me a name if she tried." "How can you talk?" I asked inquisitively, shifting down lower. I laid on my front and put my hands under my chin. It shook its head. "Sometimes, strange things happen in this world that can't be explained. I'm one of those strange things, I guess." "If you're the only frog who can talk, that means you're special." Its little mouth turned up at the corners. "That's a very sweet way to put it, thank you Ben. I can tell that you're special too." I shook my head. "No, I'm not. Everyone who I know can talk." The frog laughed warmly. "Oh, Ben. That's not the only thing that makes something special. You're special in other ways." "Like how?" "Well, maybe you're special because you can hear me?" I looked up to think about it, then nodded. "Maybe you're right. I've never ever heard of anyone who can talk to a frog before." "Honestly, I don't think many can." I got a little closer. "Can I touch your skin?" Its mouth opened as it laughed. "Why on earth would you want to do that?" "My friend Henry Collins said frogs feel slimy." "Well, that's just rude," it said. "I'm sure this Henry Collins is slimy himself!" I laughed, shaking my head. "No, silly. He's like me." "For all I know, you're slimy too!" it said. "I'm not, feel." I held out my hand palm side up, just in front of it. It hopped a little closer, then one of its little webbed feet pressed down on one of my fingers. There was a slight cool sensation. "Well, definitely not slimy," it said. "See, I told you. Now it's my turn." It sighed. "Very well, but be gentle. I'm a lot smaller than you." "I will." I stroked its back with my forefinger. It shook its body a little like a happy dog. "Oh my, that tickles a bit," it said, laughing. "I wouldn't say you're slimy," I said. "I'm certainly glad to hear it," said the frog. "But you feel kind of wet. And a bit squidgy." It gasped. "Well, sorry to tell you this Ben but you're a bit squidgy too!" I laughed and rolled onto my back. "You're funny." The frog shook its head, but smiled regardless. "Oh, to be a child." "Ben!" came a loud voice from behind. It was nana, standing on the back doorstep with a cigarette. My heart jumped a little as I sat up. "Yes nana?" "I told you to stay away from that pond!" I looked back, I was a few feet away from it. "I'm not that close nana." She took a drag and blew a big cloud of smoke. "I don't care, get away from it now!" Then she went back in the house. "Oh dear," said the frog. "I might have just gotten you into trouble." I shook my head. "No, I did that myself. I was silly and fell in because I was too close." I paused and got lower again. "Wait, did you see how I got out?" The frog shook its head. "Can't say I did. But I'm glad you're alright." I accepted it as just one of those things. "I better go or I will be in trouble." I sat up. "Are you always here?" It nodded and turned its head to the pond. "Yes, that's my home. Please come and see me again sometime." I nodded. "Definitely. But I'll have to be careful nana doesn't see me." It laughed warmly again. "I understand. Just to be safe, maybe it's best if you don't tell nana, or mum, or even Henry Collins about me. They might not understand. Does that sound reasonable?" I nodded. "I don't think anyone would believe me anyway." It gave a slight nod. "I think you're right." I got up to leave, brushing bits of grass off my front. My clothes were already drying due to the temperature. "Ben," the frog said. I looked down. "Would you do something for me?" I nodded. "Sure." "I don't think it will be too difficult for you. But, I'd love you to give me a name." "You mean, I get to decide what your name is?" I said excitedly. It nodded. "Absolutely, I'd really like that. Unless you're going to call me something silly like 'Froggy' or 'Hoppy'. I wouldn't like that!" I laughed. "I won't, I promise." "Good. Well, next time we see each other, hopefully I'll have a name." I nodded. "You definitely will. I'll think really hard about it." "I look forward to it. Goodbye for now, little one." I waved. "Bye Froggy!" I said, giggling. It shook its head but laughed along with me. "Oh, Ben. You really are something else." + A few weeks passed. I'd spent plenty of time in the garden, sometimes near the pond too. But I didn't see the frog and it was a little disappointing. One day I came home from school. Mum couldn't always pick me up, so it wasn't unusual for her to arrange a taxi to collect me. I walked through the front door and could hear snivelling. "Mum, nana?" I called. "In here darling," I heard mum say from the living room. I walked in, her eyes were puffy and red. She held a scrunched up tissue. "What's wrong mummy?" I asked. She held out her open arms and I accepted them, feeling my eyes fill up. Part of me knew already. "It's nanny," she said as she hugged me. "She's gone to heaven, darling." The house felt different without nana. But no matter how much mum cleaned around, there always seemed to be the smell of cigarette smoke. It wasn't unpleasant, it offered a strange kind of comfort. It was almost like she was still there. Mum and I were lucky to have the house, it was paid for in full. But mum still had to work. Sometimes I'd have a babysitter, a nice lady called Sara who lived in one of the houses down the road. But sometimes that wasn't an option. I know she felt terrible about it, but my mum would leave me on my own on those occasions. "Promise me you'll be a good boy," she'd say. "Don't do silly things. Be safe." I'd always promise and always meant it. On one of those days I was playing in the garden. It had been maybe a month since I'd seen the frog, but I was so happy when I heard his soft little voice. "Ben!" He was sat around a foot from the edge of the pond. I ran over excitedly. "Whoa, slow down little one," he said. "Be safe, remember? We don't want you falling in again." I slowed to a normal pace and nodded, sitting cross legged in front of him. "Sorry, I was excited to see you!" He laughed. "That's sweet of you. And you don't need to apologise. I just feel it's my duty to look out for you when no one else is around." I sighed and nodded. He looked up at me. "Your mum is doing the best she can. She loves you very much, it's all for you." I felt a little tear in my eye and wiped it away. "I know. It's just sometimes I miss her, and I miss nana." The frog hopped closer, then leapt onto my knee. It made me smile. "I'm so sorry about nana, little one. Don't ask me how I know these things, but I can tell you she's nearby in some way. She's a bit mad that you're this close to the pond, but she's happy you've got me as a friend." I cried, but they were mostly happy tears. "Dry your eyes, little one. You've got a big job to do today. Do you know what?" I shook my head. "No. I've already tidied my room, I washed up my cereal bowl, I picked up my cars from the floor..." The frog laughed. "No, no. I'm not talking about boring jobs like that. This is a very, very important and meaningful job!" "Tell me!" I said excitedly. "You need to do me the honour of naming me." I took in a big breath. "Oh yes, and I have a name already. A good one!" It's little mouth smiled again. "Oh my, I can't wait to hear it." My nana and I used to watch a particular film together, quite a lot. As a kid, I loved it. I need you to remember that. I was a kid. Because it's a bad film. But kids aren't as critical, and cynical as adults. They can see past the flaws and focus on the best bits. That's my excuse anyway. King Solomon's Mines. Not only a shameless Indiana Jones rip-off, but shockingly bad all around. It was my nana's favourite film, mainly because she thought Richard Chamberlain was so handsome. Sometimes it got a little inappropriate, but being a kid it would go straight over my head. 'I loved your grandfather, but the things I'd let him do to me...' Little did we know back then that my nana would have never stood a chance! I loved the film for very different reasons. Not only because it was our film, but for the sense of adventure. I didn't understand a lot of it, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. At the time, it seemed like the only fitting name. And it would honour my nana's memory too. "Solomon," I said with a smile. "I'm naming you Solomon." The frog looked at me curiously, turning his head from side to side. "Solomon, hmm." Then it smiled. "It's perfect!" I clapped my hands. "Yay, I'm so happy you like it." "I never doubted you," he said. "I'm proud to call myself 'Solomon'," "So now, if anyone asks what your name is you can tell them." He nodded. "I can indeed, though I don't think that opportunity will come up very often. You're still the only thing I've ever spoken to." I gently stroked his back with my finger, and he closed his eyes with a smile. "Do you think you'll ever talk to anyone else?" He looked up at me. "Honestly, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else special enough." + A few days went by and seeing Solomon was a given. I was happy to have him as a friend, and I appreciated that he didn't always treat me like a child. He'd tell me things as they were, truths that most adults would hide or sugar-coat. But I always felt he had an underlying responsibility to look out for me too. I was a child, and I could act like one. One day we were chatting about school. I was laying on my back and Solomon sat on my chest, like the first day I met him. He cut me off mid-sentence, tapping his little webbed foot. He turned his head to face the house. "Sorry, little one. Something's not right." I perched up on my elbows. "What is it, Solomon?" I could see a change in his expression. He looked concerned. He had this amazing ability to show emotions like we do. "Ben, someone's coming. Someone you'll recognise. I need you to know that whatever happens right now, you'll be safe. Do you understand?" I sat up, and Solomon leapt onto the grass. "You're scaring me, Solomon." "I don't mean to, little one. It might get scary, but believe me. You'll be safe." My breathing started to get heavier and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Solomon hopped closer and rested a foot on my hand. "Look at me, Ben." I looked down, my breathing stuttered. "Do you trust me?" My lips trembled a little but I nodded. I did trust him, as much as I trusted my mum or Mr Woods. "Good boy," he said. I heard a loud noise come from inside the house. It made me gasp. "Remember, you'll be safe. I'll always be honest with you. But, you need to go see who it is." I snivelled a bit and nodded, standing up slowly and turning to the house. I started walking. "I'm here, little one," he called from behind. I walked closer to the house, hearing the sound of furniture moving around. Every now and then I heard an expletive. I did recognise the voice. It was my dad. I hadn't seen him since we moved into nana's house. I didn't want to, he wasn't nice to mum. I walked into the back door and through the kitchen, following the sounds of disturbance. They took me to the living room where he was rummaging through drawers. It took him some time to notice I was there, he jumped when he saw me. "Jesus fucking Christ, Ben!" My hands shook a little. I didn't like it when he used bad words. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice wavering. He shook his head. "Hello to you too, boy. Where's your mother?" She was at work. I couldn't lie and say she was home, so I said nothing. He laughed. "She's not here, is she? The worthless bitch left you on your own. That's negligence. Leaving my fucking son unsupervised, who does she think she is?" "Stop saying bad things about mum," I shouted, my whole body trembling. "She's got you fucking wrapped around her little finger, hasn't she?" He started to step closer, I backed up. "What lies has she been feeding you, huh? Turning my own son against me." "She didn't tell me anything," I cried. "I heard the things you said. I saw what you did." He shook his head and grinned in a sarcastic way. "Right. Well, you're a little kid and have a wild imagination. She's twisted it. I didn't do shit." I slowly stepped back through the hallway as he etched closer. "Anyway, I heard the mother bitch is six feet under. There's gotta be some cash around here. That Scrooge hated spending money. Unless it was for a pack of John Player Specials, hah!" I shook my head. "There's nothing." He smiled. "Well I'll just have to keep looking on my own, then." "There's nothing!" I shouted. "Stop saying bad things! Get out!" The phone was on a little table by the staircase, it was just behind me. I ran to it and started dialing 999. It was a rotary dial, and each 9 took forever to make its way round. I'd barely managed two before he snatched it out of my hand. "You little shit," he sneered, pushing me back against the staircase. "What the fuck do you think the police are gonna do? They'll take you away. Is that what you want?" I started crying and hit out at him, but he just laughed. "I hate you," I snivelled. "I wish you wasn't my dad!" As if by magic, the sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. It was enough to spook him, his head turning towards the front door. Then back to the phone. "No, it couldn't have. That's not possible." It was a miraculous coincidence, but he fell for it. I just stared at him, shaking. "You know what? I bet you're not even mine anyway. Your slut mother couldn't keep her legs shut." He backed up to the front door and opened it. "Yeah, there's no way a little cunt like you is mine." He left and slammed the door behind him. The word he used was genuinely new to me, so it didn't have the desired impact. It confused me. But I figured it wasn't very nice anyway. My trembling legs carried me down to the bottom of the garden. Solomon was there, he hopped closer as I got near the pond. "Are you alright little one?" he asked. I nodded, but fell to my knees and cried. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" I shook my head. "No. I believed you. It was scary, but I believed you." He patted his little foot on my knee. "You're a very brave boy." + When mum came home I had to explain to her what had happened. She panicked, and held me tighter than she ever had before. If anything good came from it, it's that she told me she would never leave me alone again. I helped her clear up the mess dad had made. I asked her if she was going to call the police and there was a flash of consideration in her eyes. But she decided against it. That night when I went to bed, it started to rain. I could hear it tapping against my window. I always loved that sound, it was comforting. It hadn't rained for weeks which was strange for the UK. I awoke late. A sudden bright flash emanated from behind the curtains, followed by a loud crack of thunder. It startled me. I've never been afraid of a storm but it took me off guard. It must have been what woke me up. I opened my curtains just enough to see the rain coming down hard, then I watched in awe as the forks of lightning spread across the night sky. I blinked hard as the next crack of thunder struck, laughing to myself. As the next flash came I looked down to see Solomon's pond rippling. I thought about how happy he'd be swimming around in the rain. There came a loud crash from inside the house. Then I could hear muffled voices. I jumped down from my bed, my room illuminated briefly with the next sheet of lightning. I knew the thunder was coming, but it still made me flinch as I crept closer to my door. I pulled it open just a little and listened closely. My mum was talking downstairs. No, shouting! Then came the voice that my heart already knew was responsible for it. My legs felt like jelly as I quietly walked across the landing and held on to the banister, looking down. A flash of light spread across the floor, then a loud scream mingled with the rumbling thunder. It filled me with dread. I heard my dad shout more horrible words, then I saw something that I'll never forget. My mum slowly came into view. She was crawling on her belly, and the back of her head was thick with blood. Her blonde hair clumped together. "Mum!" I screamed, and her face slowly turned upwards. Her eyes briefly met mine. They were wide with horror. Her mouth opened, she was trying to say something. Then she collapsed. As I started to cry my dad came into view. He was holding a hammer, the head of it a glossy dark red. He looked up and sneered as the lightning struck again, and the crash of thunder was like a starting gun. I ran back into my room as I heard my dad on the staircase, slamming the door shut. There was a chest of drawers just to the side and, being young and stupid, I thought I might be able to push it over to stop him from getting in. The reality was it didn't move an inch. He burst in, making me scream. "Time to be with your whore mother!" he snarled, swinging the hammer down. I managed to duck out of the way and it smacked into the side of the drawers. I was on my hands and knees crawling to my bed. I wanted to go underneath it, like it would fool him. That silly childish logic again. I didn't get far though. He picked me up by the scruff of my Thomas the Tank Engine pyjamas. He held me up by one hand, the other holding the hammer high above. The lightning revealed strands of blonde hair matted to the head with blood. He grinned in such an evil, hateful way. "You know how I know you're not really mine? I have no problem with bashing your tiny little skull in!" I grabbed onto his wrist for support. His clenched fist was just in front of my face, I wanted to try and bite it but I knew I couldn't reach. So I did the next best thing. As the hammer rose higher, I kicked out as hard as I could with my left foot. I got him good between the legs! The pain I felt in my bare toes was excruciating, but it payed off. He dropped me and fell back, groaning as he let go of the hammer and held his crotch. But of all the places he could have rested, it had to be against the door. I jumped on my bed and threw my curtains open, scrambling to open the window. My dad was moaning behind me. "You little fucker!" he said, it was a pitch higher than normal. The window opened outwards, my face splashed with rain. I looked down and could just make out the roof of the little extension that was part of the kitchen. The lightning gave me an even better look. It didn't look like too much of a drop, but it was scary enough to make me hesitate. "You're dead, boy!" he screamed, lunging for the hammer and then throwing himself on the bed. I screamed and hung backwards from the window, my hands gripping on to the ledge. The rain came down hard on my face, but I could make out his blurry outline. The flash in the sky showed him looming over me, and as the next thunder clap came, the hammer came down. It caught my wrist. I barely had time to acknowledge the pain, then I was falling. I hit the roof feet first, toppled over, then rolled down the slightly slanted tiles until I met the edge. I tried to cling on to something but my hands wouldn't grip, slipping with the combination of water and slimy rooftop moss. I hit the back garden hard, knocking the wind out of me. If it hadn't been raining it might have been worse. The sodden grass somewhat cushioned my fall. That being said, I was frozen for a good few seconds as I tried to catch my breath. As soon as that was under control, that's when I really started to notice the pain in my wrist and toes. I managed to roll over and get to my feet. The back garden was darker than the house, but every flash helped me see the way. I held my wrist to my chest, supporting it with my other hand, and limped in the direction of Solomon's pond. My tears were indistinguishable from the rain. My body was as wet as it had been on the day I met Solomon and almost drowned. My dad's voice roared from somewhere behind me, making me take in a sharp breath. "I'm coming for ya, boy. No one will recognise you when I'm done crushing your face!" I darted into the greenery on my left, ducking down. I crawled in, wincing as I put pressure on my bad wrist. I didn't stop until I felt a sharp pain on my right shoulder. It was a thorn. I was in one of blackberry bushes. I sat up and turned around, pulling my knees up to my chest for comfort. Then I slowly rocked myself as my lips trembled. When lightning struck, I saw my dad looking around the garden. The hammer was constantly raised above his head. He poked his head inside bushes, looked behind trees. He smashed the windows of the little garden shed we had and was adamant he'd found me, screaming with anger when he realised I wasn't inside. "Get your fucking arse out here, now!" Every crack of thunder made me jump like I wasn't expecting it. My dad turned his head to the sky and roared along with it, like a taunt. An intimidation. I closed my eyes tight and continued to slowly rock. As my dad started to move over to my side of the garden, there appeared to be another miracle. The second of the day. The storm must have been testing the electricals of the house, and something triggered the fuse box. Most of the lights went out. It got his attention. "Got ya!" he yelled, and ran up the garden. The next flash revealed he'd gone back in the house. I slowly crawled out of the bush and got to my feet, heading left and limping the last few steps to the pond. I was exhausted, and in more pain than I'd ever experienced before. But hearing Solomon's voice made everything feel better. For just a moment. "Little one!" I couldn't see him at first, but I could tell I was close to the pond by the sound of the rain as it hit the surface. With a flash, I saw him there on the edge. I fell to my knees and collapsed to my side. "Solomon!" I cried, reaching out with my good hand. I held it upright and he hopped onto it with a croak. "Little one, we don't have much time!" I took in a stuttered breath. "He killed my mum," I cried. "He killed my mum, Solomon." He patted my hand with one of his webbed feet, shaking his head. "No, Ben. In time, she will make a full recovery." I snivelled. "How do you know?" "Because I'm special, remember? I also know you've broken two of your left toes. And your left wrist is fractured." My jaw dropped, my mouth splashed with rain. "How...?" "I just do, little one. Your mother will be fine. Trust me." I bawled, but it was mostly relief. I believed him. "He's still here Solomon. He's trying to get me." He gently tapped on my hand. "I know, little one. But I can help you." I got up to kneel and Solomon leapt from my hand. By that point I wasn't only shivering from fear, but cold. The rain wasn't letting up. "How?" I asked. "Are you feeling brave?" I shook my head. "No. I'm scared, Solomon. He's going to hurt me like he hurt mum." He hopped closer and patted my knee. "I won't let him, Ben. But I need you to be a big, brave boy. Can you do that?" I looked over my shoulder, the house briefly illuminated in a flash. Then the lights went back on. It made my heart jump. "Please, little one. Be brave." I turned back and nodded, but I didn't feel brave at all. My stomach churned. "What should I do?" "Something scary. I need you to bring your father to me." I held my bad hand to my chest. "How, Solomon? He'll hurt me before I have the chance." He shook his head. "Not if you're fast. And clever. I know you're clever." I started crying again. "But I'm just a little boy." Solomon sighed. "Oh, Ben. I wish I could hug you. You're so much more than 'just a little boy'. Before I met you, I was just a little frog. But you made me special, because you are special. Believe in yourself, little one." I mustered a small smile and stroked Solomon on his back. "We make each other special, don't we?" He smiled and croaked. "Exactly. Now, bring your father to me. You can do it. Fast and clever." I gulped, wiped my nose with the back of my good hand, and nodded. By that point the thunder no longer made me jump. That made me feel somewhat brave. I slowly stood up and Solomon leapt to the edge of his pond. Turning, I started walking up the garden. The soft wet ground squidged between my toes and soothed the broken ones a little. "Ben," called Solomon. I looked over my shoulder. "Thank you for being my friend." I smiled as best as I could under the circumstances, giving him a slight nod. I didn't say anything, but I didn't have to. Solomon and I had a connection. My heart was filled with warmth in that moment and it spurred me on. I watched as Solomon turned and hopped into the pond with a splash. Then I started preparing for the scariest thing in my life. The back door was open. It was eerily quiet inside. A small part of me had hope that my dad had left. But I couldn't be sure. I picked up a small saucepan that sat on the counter, my hand trembling. Then I banged it on a cupboard door. "Dad!" I called. "I'm here!" It didn't take long at all. Within a few seconds I heard heavy footsteps on the floorboards, then he appeared in the kitchen doorway. The hammer was by his side. He grinned. "Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this." He raised the hammer and lunged forward. The first thing I did was throw the saucepan in his direction. That hadn't been planned but felt like a wasted opportunity if I didn't. It barely touched him, but it was worth a try. I turned and ran, going as fast as I could given my foot injury. It didn't take long to hear a thump and a painful yell, and I allowed myself to look over my shoulder. I'd crushed blackberries all over the doorstep, making it slippery. My dad was laying on the ground, writhing around. It had given me a small advantage. "Fuck you!" he screamed, getting to his feet. I gasped as I turned back to face the back of the garden. My little toes were so painful, but I still ran as fast as I had in the 100m race on my school's sports day. At least it felt like it. But I knew my dad was twice, maybe even three times faster than me. It wouldn't take him long to catch up. The lightning flashed and it guided my way, showing me what I needed to do next. As I heard my dad closing in, I jumped. I landed on the wet grass with a little slip, but managed to compose myself and kept running. I heard another yell and looked over my shoulder again. My dad was laying on the ground again, swearing. We had a pile of logs in the shed for winter fires, and I'd placed some in the garden. "Ben!" he screamed, getting to his feet. "I'm gonna start by smashing in your fucking teeth!" I turned back and kept running, relying on the lightning again. The thunder roared but I could still hear my dad behind me. I jumped over another log, but that one didn't stop him. He was looking out for them now. My last attempt at slowing him down was coming up, though he'd need to be closer for that to work. Not that I needed to slow down, I was practically within his grasp. He laughed maniacally, and I could hear the hammer as it swiped through the air. I jumped again, but this time I didn't land straight away. There was a branch sticking out from my favourite climbing tree, and I used it to swing myself a little further ahead. When I let go, it swung back and smacked my dad in the face. He screamed as he came to a halt. "Your eyes!" he yelled as I ran with all I had. That was the last of my obstacles. "I'm gonna start by gouging out your eyes!" I felt panic rising inside as I sprinted the final stretch to Solomon's pond. My bad hand clung to my chest, feeling my heart beating hard beneath it. My dad wasn't too far behind now, and there was nothing between us. With a flash of light, I saw the pond. But I saw something else too that gave me a little fright. Protruding slightly from the surface were two big, glowing eyes. Then they raised up slightly to reveal a wide mouth that was upturned in the corners, like a smile. As the thunder rumbled I heard a deep croak, and the pale flesh below the mouth inflated intermittently. The eyes were fixed onto mine, and with a final flash of light before I reached the pond, the large head motioned to the sky. I understood. My dad had stopped speaking hateful words and instead screamed in a constant fit of rage. I took a deep breath and leapt as my toes reached the edge of the pond, landing in the middle of the squidgy wet head. It flicked up slightly to spring me to the other side where I landed straight on my arse. I had just enough time to turn and see my dad's terrified reaction as Solomon emerged from his pond in a geyser of water. Solomon roared and shot out his large tongue, it wrapped around my dad's ankles and pulled him over. I watched in disbelief as he dropped the hammer and tried to claw at the soft ground. Solomon began to retreat back underwater. My dad's screams were more terrifying than the disturbing threats he'd hissed throughout the evening. All I could see was the very top of Solomon's head as my dad was pulled into the water, his lower legs submerged. "Help me!" he screamed, his hands tearing at patches of grass. He turned to look over his shoulder, at the face of what was to end his violent attack. My dad was as pale as snow, his nose bloody from the tree. I heard a loud croak as Solomon raised out of the water, then closed his mouth around my dad's waist. He smacked at Solomon's head as he struggled, but I could see him becoming visibly weaker as I heard the sound of crushing bones. Finally, my dad's eyes met mine. I can't be sure, but I think I saw the moment that life left them. They just appeared to be void of any emotion as Solomon dragged him to the depths, and the pond became deathly still. + Just a few weeks ago I happened to be in the area of my nana's old house. I've long since moved away, as has my mum who is as fit and healthy as you'd expect a seventy-something to be. I pulled up outside and took a deep breath as I looked upon it with mixed emotions. The exterior hadn't changed a great deal. The windows were more modern, that was about it. The front door opened and a woman came out, walking down the garden path. I shut off the engine and stepped out of my car. "Can I help you?" she asked cheerfully. "Are you lost?" I smiled. "No. Erm, actually I grew up here. I was just reminiscing." She beamed. "Oh, that's wonderful. You must come inside!" I was grateful for her offer and she took me on a little tour of the house. I was amazed by how different it looked. The last time I'd seen the inside of that house was around the early 90s, where it had the same decor as always. It was very much a family home. There were two children's bedrooms and various family photos dotted around. I got a little lump in my throat seeing my old room. The woman could tell by my reaction that it used to be mine, lightly touching my arm. As we went back downstairs she offered me a hot drink, to which I politely declined. But my eyes fell onto the kitchen window and the now completely landscaped back garden. "Do you still have the pond?" I asked. She nodded. "Oh yes, my husband keeps koi." "Do you mind if I take a look?" She smiled. "Be my guest. I'm making tea, I won't take no for an answer." I stepped outside. There was no longer grass as you left the doorstep, but a modern patio with outdoor furniture. The old shed had been replaced with what looked like a small annex. There was a large trampoline in the centre of the garden. Six year old me would have loved that! As I approached the garden's end the pond came into view. It was beautifully maintained. The edge was decorated with rocks, there was even a mini waterfall. I crouched down and watched the koi kiss the shimmery surface. My heart filled and I felt my eyes glaze over, having not thought about that pond for some time. There was a croak to my left. I looked down to see a little frog hop towards me. It made me smile. "Hello you," I said, lightly stroking its back. It made no attempt to hop away. It looked up at me, and I swear it's little mouth looked like it was smiling. I got more comfortable and held out my hand palm side up. The frog willingly hopped on top. My heart jumped. I brought it closer to my face and studied it. It had been years since I'd seen Solomon, and with no offence intended, I wasn't sure I'd be able to tell him apart from any other frog. And given their short lifespan, he'd probably be long dead already. But Solomon wasn't like other frogs. He was special. And this was curious behaviour. "Solomon?" I said quietly, paranoid I'd be heard by the welcoming woman. It just looked at me and croaked contently. "It's me, Ben." A part of me was preparing for a response, I wasn't sure how adult me would react to that. But there came none. Just a pleasant little expression on its face as it croaked. I let out a little laugh. "Once upon a time, there was a very special frog who lived here. I know it sounds silly, but he was the best friend I ever had. I never got to thank him for what he did for my mum and I, so I'll say it to you. Thank you, Solomon." I felt tears in my eyes as I shook it off, preparing to put the frog down. But it moved closer to my face and placed its little webbed foot on my nose, tapping lightly. The woman in the house seemed genuinely warm, as I'm sure her husband is too. But I knew in my heart; if either of them turned out to be monsters, their children would be safe for as long as they lived here. dd submitted by /u/disco-dingus to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/AdministrationOwn244 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

The entities as portrayed in the 'Project Blue Book' series. Various sightings of the entities manifesting around the world. More sightings of the entities manifesting around the world. These phenomena are some of the major activities the entities carry out on Earth. Global captures of the entities in their energy vehicles above Earth. Entities near the surface, without materializing into their bodily forms. Various recorded bodily manifestations of the fallen entities reveal that these creatures usually take on a sentient bipedal form when terrorizing human victim(s). As it is with most paranormal encounters with strange and frightful beings, balls of light are always associated with the phenomena before, during, and after the encounter(s). These beings can pass through walls/doors/objects to paralyze victims with fear and/or briefly abduct victims. Sometimes following this, victims experience what is called "missing time." The entities are responsible for the grisly and bizarre Cattle Mutilations. The entities are also responsible for the genuine overnight Crop Circles. All of the surreal phenomena shown thus far has in fact occurred throughout the entirety of recorded human history - from the current day to the medieval period and beyond into ancient life thousands of years ago. Critical art depicts the major experiences, and many stories were written down in the annals. Below is an extraordinary list of sightings and encounters of these entities, which have been recorded throughout our entire known human history, from back in the 20th century to ancient times and beyond - long before the industrial revolution and the first powered human flight. Bizarre stories of intelligent balls of fire from the 19th and 20th centuries. 25 August 1846, Saint-Apre, France At 2:30 A.M. Dr. Moreau was returning from a visit to a patient's home by warm, calm weather when he found himself bathed in the light coming from a globe that seemed to open up, emitting hundreds of star-like objects. This was observed for three to four minutes, after which the display slowed down and the globe disappeared. Will-o'-the-Wisps were also called Ignis Fatuus, meaning \"foolish fire\". These lights would lead curious people into the forests and swamps where they would get disoriented and lost. https://preview.redd.it/0j23p0d46ria1.jpg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=971cad8c7ce235a217bc5c2fa7163967060fbcc5 1710, London, England. A Fiery Apparition was seen at night in the London sky by two city watchmen. The flaming Orb travelled through the air and carried a ghostly entity that appeared to be armed. \"II. A horrible fire-ball Lufft-Sign...\" 4 November 1697, Hamburg Germany Two glowing wheels flew over the city of Hamburg, Germany. Woodcut pamphlet describing the 'Mowing Devil', an early Crop Circle. 22 August 1678, Hertfordshire, England. An English woodcut pamphlet published in 1678 tells of a farmer in Hertfordshire who, refusing to pay the price demanded by a laborer to mow his field, swore he would rather the Devil mowed it instead. According to the pamphlet, that night his field appeared to be in flame. The next morning, the field was found to be "perfectly mowed by some infernal spirit(s), that no mortal man was able to do the like". The woodcuts of the Great Thunderstorm of Dartmoor, a deadly assault by an entity. 21 October 1638, Widecombe-in-the-Moor in Dartmoor, England Written accounts by eyewitnesses, published within months of the catastrophe, tell of a strange darkness, powerful thunder, and "a great ball of fire" ripping through a window and tearing part of the roof open. It is said to have rebounded through the church, killing some members of the congregation and burning many others. March 1638, Muddy River near Charlton, Massachusetts A member of the Puritan Church, James Everell, "a sober, discreet man," was crossing the Muddy River one evening in a small boat with two companions. Suddenly a great luminous mass appeared in the sky above the river. It seemed to dart back and forth over the water. When it remained motionless, it "flamed up" and seemed to measure three yards square. When it moved, it "contracted into the figure of a swine" and flew away towards Charlton. It did this repeatedly over a period of two or three hours, always returning briefly to the same spot above the water before shooting off again. 28 May 1637, Between Chartres and Paris, France Travelers marveled at three large 'stars' surrounded by smaller ones, with a long streak of other 'stars'. In the spring of 1561 over the German city of Nuremburg, entities emerged from the heavens engaging in intense activity, with some descending and festering over a church outside of town. The witnesses perceived the spectacle as a major battle in the skies. The original description in German for the scene in the woodcut depicted above reads: The 1561 woodcut of the Nuremberg sky battle. "In the morning of April 14, 1561, at daybreak, between 4 and 5 a.m., a dreadful apparition occurred on the sun, and then this was seen in Nuremberg in the city, before the gates and in the country – by many men and women. At first there appeared in the middle of the sun two blood-red semi-circular arcs, just like the moon in its last quarter. And in the sun, above and below and on both sides, the color was blood, there stood a round ball of partly dull, partly black ferrous color. Likewise there stood on both sides and as a torus about the sun such blood-red ones and other balls in large number, about three in a line and four in a square, also some alone. In between these globes there were visible a few blood-red crosses, between which there were blood-red strips, becoming thicker to the rear and in the front malleable like the rods of reed-grass, which were intermingled, among them two big rods, one on the right, the other to the left, and within the small and big rods there were three, also four and more globes. These all started to fight among themselves, so that the globes, which were first in the sun, flew out to the ones standing on both sides, thereafter, the globes standing outside the sun, in the small and large rods, flew into the sun. Besides the globes flew back and forth among themselves and fought vehemently with each other for over an hour. And when the conflict in and again out of the sun was most intense, they became fatigued to such an extent that they all, as said above, fell from the sun down upon the earth 'as if they all burned' and they then wasted away on the earth with immense smoke. After all this there was something like a black spear, very long and thick, sighted; the shaft pointed to the east, the point pointed west. Whatever such signs mean, God alone knows. For it, may God grant us his help, Amen. By Hanns Glaser, letter-painter of Nurnberg." Three fiery orbs travelled across the German countryside in 1533. Illuminated manuscripts from 'The Book of Miracles' written in Augsburg, Germany in 1552. Strange phenomena was witnessed such as flying Orbs that turned in different directions, and hovering structures of light. 7 March 1458, Kyoto, Japan Five "stars" appeared to circle the moon, changed colors three times and vanished suddenly. June 1444, Bibbiena, Arezzo, Italy Over three months multiple witnesses saw globes of light, golden in color, both inside and outside a church. The story by Don Massimo, a Benedictine monk, mentions that "turning to the church he and his companions saw a globe as thick as a printing press." Mr. Lorenzo Piovano of Bibbiena stated that he saw more lights day and night, moving around the church and leaving a smell of remarkable sweetness. Don Massimo is careful to add that the mayor and others who ran into the church saw nothing, but they did notice the smell. 3 March 1428, Forli, Italy At 1:30 A.M. a fiery lamp was observed for about two hours. The city archives also mention "a very high flame in the shape of a tower, and a column of apparent fire rising in the air." 15 July 1385, London and Dover, England "At London and likewise at Dover, there appeared after sunset a kind of fire in the shape of a head in the south part of the heavens, stretching out to the northern quarter, which flew away, dividing itself into three parts, and travelled in the air like a bird of the woods in flight. At length they joined as one and suddenly disappeared." February 1382, Paris, France Before the Maillets uprising, a fiery flashing globe was seen for a period of eight days, ” "roaming from door to door above the city of Paris, without there being any wind agitation nor lightning or noise of thunder, and on the contrary, the weather never ceased to be serene." 20 July 1349, Japan Two shining objects appeared from the southeast and northwest. They had a terrible clash as they appeared to maneuver acrobatically, emitting flashes. 8 September 1296, Loreto, Italy Before dawn, mysterious globes of light appeared repeatedly in the sky of Loreto, falling, stopping and disappearing suddenly. The phenomenon was witnessed by a hermit, Paul Selva, who wrote a famous letter to Charles II dated June 1297. The phenomenon appeared as a body of elliptical shape. A writer named Mantovano who obtained the information from a record dating back to 1300, notes: "He saw a light in the shape of a very bright comet measuring twelve feet in length and six in width, coming down from heaven in the direction of the church and after it approached, vanished at the site." 3 August 1294, Japan During a parade, a red shining object appeared, coming from the direction of a shrine. It resembled the Moon, and flew north. 3 June 1277, China "I rise at dawn and, through the window, I see a very bright star that crosses the Milky Way. Now I see three luminous objects appear in the southern sky, of which two fly away and disappear suddenly from my sight. The one which remains possesses five unequalled lights beneath it, and above its upper part I see something in the form of a dome. The unknown object begins to move in a zigzag, like a dead leaf. At the same time, some fiery thing falls from the sky. A short time afterwards, the sun rises but its brightness is dulled by the luminous object that moves quickly in a northerly direction. In the western sky, a green cloud is suddenly disturbed by another unknown object, oval in shape, flat, that descends quickly. This object is more than three meters long, and is surrounded by flames. It rises again shortly after its descent. "In view of this splendid and amazing spectacle, I rush to the village to alert the inhabitants. When my friends come out of their houses, the flying machine has disappeared. After the event, I reflect on it very much but do not find a reasonable explanation. I have the impression I have come out of a long dream. I hasten to write down all that I have seen at the time so that whoever understands these events can give me an explanation." 1273, Naples, Italy The biography of St. Thomas Aquinas (ca. 1225 to 7 March 1274) states that on the year before his death he returned to Naples, staying in that city for a few weeks during an illness. While he was there two monks saw a light described as a big star coming through the window. It rested for a moment on the head of the sick man and disappeared again, just as it came. 12 September 1271, Japan At midnight Nichiren Shonin (1222-1282), was being escorted to the beach to be executed. Just before the fatal moment, a brilliant sphere as large as the moon flew over, illuminating the landscape. The authorities were so frightened by the apparition that they changed their minds about putting Shonin to death. Instead, they exiled him to Sado Island. 14 October 1253, England Nicholas of Findern reported to Burton Abbey that "About the hour of vespers, the sky being clear, suddenly a large bright star appeared out of a black cloud with two smaller stars in the vicinity. A battle royal soon commenced, the small stars charging the great star again and again, so that it began to diminish in size, and sparks of fire fell from the combatants. This continued for a considerable time, and at last, the spectators, stupefied, by fear and wonder, and ignorant of what it might portend, fled." 1252, Padua, Italy "A certain great star, like a comet, but it was not a comet because it did not have a tail and it was a portentous thing because it looked almost as large as the moon, and it moved faster than the moon, but as fast as falling stars, and indeed it was not the moon. It was observable for an hour and then it vanished." 1237, El Puig, Valencia "The sentries and custodians of the castle [at El Puig] observed that every Saturday, at midnight, a fleet of luminous stars, seven in number, consecutively descended upon the summit nearest the said fortress, in the same place where our monastery now lies." 2 October 1235, Japan About 8 P.M., by clear sky, Suketoshi Abe, consultant to Shogun Yoritsune Fujiwara, reported to his palace that mysterious sources of light had been seen swinging and circling in the southwest. These lights moved in loops until the early hours of the morning. June 1193, London, England "On the 7th of the Ides of June, at 6 o'Clock, a thick black Cloud rose in the Air, the Sun shining clear all round about. In the middle of the Cloud was an Opening, out of which proceeded a bright light, which hung in a Ball under the black Cloud over the Side of the Thames, and the Bishop of Norwich's Palace." 15 September 1098, Antioch, Turkey In the Historia Francorum qui Ceperint Jerusalem of Raymond d'Aguiliers, Count of Toulouse, we read that during the First Crusade: "very many things were revealed to us through our brethren; and we beheld a marvelous sign in the sky. For during the night there stood over the city a very large star, which, after a short time, divided into three parts and fell in the camp of the Turks." Alfred of Aachen writes: "In the silence of the night, when benevolent sleep restores men's strength, all Christians on guard duty were struck by a marvelous sight in the sky. It seemed that all the stars were concentrated in a dense group, in a space the size of about three arpents, fiery and bright as coals in a furnace, and gathered as a globe, scintillating. And after burning for a long time, they thinned out and formed the likeness of a crown, exactly above the city; and after remaining for a long time gathered in a circle without separating, they broke the chain at a point on that circle, and all followed the same path." December 1071, Zhengjiang, China Scholar Su Dongpo saw a big light emerge from the Yangtse River, scaring away the mountain birds. 1067, Northumbria, England "In this year, truly, several people saw a sign; in appearance it was fire: it flamed and burned fiercely in the air; it came near to the earth, and for a little time quite illuminated it; afterwards it revolved and ascended up on high, then descended into the bottom of the sea; in several places it burned woods and plains. No man knew with certainty what this divined, nor what this sign signified. In the country of the Northumbrians this fire showed itself; and in two seasons of one year were these demonstrations." Autumn 1023, France "There were seen in the southern part of the sky in the Sign of the Lion, two stars that fought each other all Autumn; the largest and most luminous of the two came from the east, the smallest one from the west, the small one rushed furiously and fearfully at the biggest one which didn't allow the speck to approach, but he struck her with his mane of light, repulsing her far towards the east." 7 July 1015, Kyoto, Western Japan The Director General of Saemonfu [the Royal Guard] said that he had witnessed two stars meeting at night. " The circumstances were as follows: Both stars flew slowly towards each other and the moment they were 10 meters or so from each other, there came little stars rushing out of each big star, coming towards the other big star, and soon returned to their respective mother star, then the two mother stars flew away swiftly. After this meeting, clouds appeared and covered the sky. I hear that people in ancient times also witnessed such a phenomenon, but recently it was so rare that I was impressed not a little." 3 August 989, Japan "Three objects became bright, in extraordinary fashion, and met at the same point of their trajectory." https://preview.redd.it/9df966a3chz71.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=84d10e415e576d495fa43e39459ae35a3e8f2168 989, Constantinople (Istanbul), Turkey "The star appeared in the west after sunset; it rose in the evening and had no fixed place in the sky. It spread bright rays, visible from a great distance, and kept moving, appearing further north or further south, and once when it rose changed its place in the sky, making sudden and fast movements. The people who saw the "comet" were stunned, in awe, and believe that such strange movements are an evil omen. And just as people expected, something happened: in the evening of the day when they usually celebrated the memory of Velikomuchenik (a martyr of early Christianity), a tremendous earthquake brought down the towers of Byzantium..." 944, Trans-Rhenan Germany "In some districts, burning iron globes were seen in the air, some of which, while flying, burnt some farms and houses. But in some places they were repelled by opposing them with crucifixes, episcopal blessing and holy water." 919, Hungary People saw bright spherical objects shining like stars, along with a bright torch, moving to and fro in the sky. 905, China A large fiery globe appeared at the zenith and flew towards the northwest. It stopped 100 feet away as many tiny stars moved above it. It left a greenish vapor. March 900, China The New Book of the Tang records that during the year of Guang Hua, "a fat star, as large as 500 meters square, yellow in color, flew towards the southwest. It had a pointed head and the rear was cylindrical..." The same book records another "star-like object" that was five times bigger than the above one and flew in a north-westerly direction. When it descended to a point some thirty meters from the ground the witnesses could see its upper part emit red-orange flames. "It moved like a snake, accompanied by numerous small stars that disappeared suddenly." 3 September 881, Japan Two stars appeared in the sky, and went through strange movements as if merging and separating. 25 April 880, Montserrat-Santa Cova, Spain Towards the end of April in the year 880 seven young children from Monistrol in Barcelona saw a strange light descend from the sky and head towards a small grotto on the mountain of Montserrat, accompanied by a soft melody. A week later a group of priests headed by the Bishop of Manresa returned to the spot, and saw it again. On four Saturdays in a row the light reappeared in the sky and dropped towards the mountain grotto. In the end seven men were sent to the place the light seemed to indicate, which was in an area called Santa Cova. When they entered the cave they discovered an image of a black virgin, surrounded by a magical light and giving off a pleasant aroma. November 879, China Two "suns" fought energetically in the sky. On another day of the same month, two Suns fought, and then merged together. 827, Barcelona, Spain Eginard writes that "terrible things in the sky" were observed during the night while Pepin I was at war in Spain. The objects emitted lights, pale or red in color. 814, China A luminous object rises, lights up the ground. Many small "stars" emerge from it. 811, Near Aachen on Via Aquisgrana, Germany Emperor Charlemagne sees a great flaming globe descending from east to west and is thrown from his horse. Although the horse may have been frightened by an especially bright meteor, the situation suggests either that the object was close to the emperor's party, or that the meteor was very spectacular indeed: "One day in his last campaign into Saxony against Godfred, King of the Danes, Charles himself saw a ball of fire fall suddenly from the heavens with a great light, just as he was leaving camp before sunrise to set out on the march. It rushed across the clear sky from right to left, and everybody was wondering what was the meaning of the sign, when the horse which he was riding gave a sudden plunge, head foremost, and fell, and threw him to the ground so heavily that his cloak buckle was broken and his sword belt shattered; and after his servants had hastened to him and relieved him of his arms, he could not rise without their assistance. He happened to have a javelin in his hand when he was thrown, and this was struck from his grasp with such force that it was found lying at a distance of twenty feet or more from the spot." 793, England, Devonshire Anglo Saxon manuscripts describe: "Strange silver objects, lights, loud explosions, and serpentine paths of light appeared in the sky." 776, Syburg Castle, Germany In 776 the Saxons rebelled against Charlemagne and attacked the castle of Syburg with continued lack of success, finally deciding to storm the castle. They reportedly "saw the likeness of two shields red with flame wheeling over the church. When the heathens outside saw this miracle, they were at once thrown into confusion and started fleeing to their camp in terror. Since all of them were panic-stricken, one man stampeded the next and was killed in return, because those who looked back out of fear impaled themselves on the lances carried on the shoulders of those who fled before them. Some dealt each other aimless blows and thus suffered divine retribution." 21 November 684, Japan At dusk, seven stars are said to have "drifted together" to the north-east, after which they sank below the horizon. 675, Berecingum Convent, near London, England "For one night, after matins had been sung, and those handmaids of Christ had gone out of their chapel to the tombs of the brothers who had departed this life before them, and were singing the customary songs of praise to the Lord, on a sudden a light from heaven, like a great sheet; came down upon them all, and struck them with such amazement, that, in consternation, they even left off singing their hymn. "But that resplendent light, in comparison wherewith the sun at noon-day might seem dark, soon after, rising from that place, removed to the south side of the monastery, that is, to the westward of the chapel, and having continued there some time, and rested upon those parts, in the sight of them all withdrew itself again to heaven, leaving no doubt in the minds of all, but that the same light, which was to lead or to receive the souls of those handmaids of Christ into Heaven, also showed the place in which their bodies were to rest and await the day of the resurrection." 664, Kent, England "In the dead of night there appeared from God a glittering pillar of light shining over the hall of the king's [Ecgbert I, king of Kent] palace, which by its unwonted illumination aroused many of the king's household; and they in their great astonishment uttering loud cries, the king was awakened, and, ignorant of what had occurred, arose from his bed, and set out to go to the hymns of matins while it was yet night. On leaving the house, he saw a globe of extraordinary splendor burning with a white flame, the origin of which proceeded from the aforesaid wonderful seat of light. [...]" 9 June 597, Ireland "Another vision also given at the same hour under a different form was related to me, Adomnan, who was a young man at the time, by one of those who had seen it, and who solemnly assured me of its truth...He said: "'On that night when St. Columba, by a happy and blessed death, passed from earth to heaven, while I and others with me were engaged in fishing in the valley of the river Fend, which abounds in fish, we saw the whole vault of heaven become suddenly illuminated. Struck by the suddenness of the miracle, we raised our eyes and looked towards the east, when, lo! there appeared something like an immense pillar of fire, which seemed to us, as it ascended upwards at that midnight, to illuminate the whole earth like the summer sun at noon: and after that column penetrated the heavens darkness followed, as if the sun had just set. "'And not only did we, together in the same place, observe with intense surprise the brightness of this remarkable luminous pillar, but many other fishermen also, who were engaged in fishing here and there in different deep pools along the same river, were greatly terrified, as they afterwards related to us, by an appearance of the same kind.'" 540, Rome, Italy "Often a little spark has seemed to come down from the sky to the Earth; then, having grown into a kind of orb like the Moon, it has been seen as disc-like. This very thing recently happened and foretold a danger of seditions and misfortunes beyond measure." 497, British Isles An immense globe appeared in the sky. A second ball of fire came from its rays, projecting two beams: "During these transactions at Winchester, there appeared a star of wonderful magnitude and brightness, darting forth a ray, at the end of which was a globe of fire in the form of a dragon, out of whose mouth issued forth two rays; one of which seemed to stretch out itself beyond the extent of Gaul, the other towards the Irish sea, and ended in seven lesser rays." 334, Antioch, Turkey "In Antioch a star appeared in the eastern part of the sky during the day, emitting much smoke as though from a furnace, from the third to the fifth hour" January 314, China A star came down to the ground and three other stars rose together over the western horizon and "flew together towards the East." https://preview.redd.it/nv1rvyj6chz71.png?width=1600&format=png&auto=webp&s=915541154c438eadfd48e2be0ab985125aa12839 187, Rome, Italy "We read in Herodian that in the time of Commodus stars were seen all the day long, and that some stretched in length, hanging as it were in the midst of the air, which was a token of a cloud not kindled but driven together: for it seemed kindled in the night, but in the day when it was far off it vanished away. April 34 AD, China A white, round object accompanied by 10 small stars flies overhead. 24 May 12 BC, China "In the first year of the Yuen-yen period, at the 4 - Moon, between 3 P.M. and 5 P.M., by clear sky and serene weather, a sound similar to thunder was heard repeatedly. A meteor (entity light) appeared, the front part the size of a vase, over 100 feet long. Its light was red-whitish. It stood far to the SE of the sun. It threw off fiery sparks on four sides, some as large as a pail, others the size of an egg. They fell like rain. This phenomenon lasted until the evening." 76 BC, Rome, Italy A group of witnesses with Proconsul Silenus: A spark fell from a star, became as big as the moon, and went up again, which contradicts natural explanations. The original text reads: "In the consulship of Gnaeus Octavius and Gaius Scribonius a spark was seen to fall from a star and increase in size as it approached the earth, and after becoming as large as the moon it diffused a sort of cloudy daylight, and then returning to the sky changed into a torch; this is the only record of this occurring. It was seen by the proconsul Silanus and his entourage." 91 BC, Spoletium in Umbria, N. Rome, Italy "Near Spoletium a gold-colored fireball rolled down to the ground, increased in size; seemed to move off the ground toward the east and was big enough to blot out the sun." 99 BC, Tarquinia, Viterbo Province, Italy "At sunset a round shield (orbis clypeus) flew west to east." https://preview.redd.it/srh8a2g58ria1.jpg?width=1208&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbbc24e0e57a20e786d70688578d1d796274f366 103 BC, Amelia and Todi, Italy During the War with the Cimbri, "from Amelia and Todi, cities of Italy, it was reported that at night there had been seen in the heavens flaming spears, and shields which at first moved in different directions, and then clashed together, assuming the formations and movements of men in battle, and finally some of them would give way, while others pressed on in pursuit, and all streamed away to the westward." 163 BC, Cassino, Lazio Province, Italy A "sun" shone at night for several hours. The original text reads: "Consulship of Tiberius Gracchus and Manius Juventus: at Capua the sun was seen during the night. At Formice two suns were seen by day. The sky was afire... In Cephallenia a trumpet seemed to sourift from the sky.. .By night something like the sun shone at Pisaurum." 216 BC, Arpi, Apulia, Italy "At Arpi shields had been seen in the sky and the sun had appeared to be fighting with the moon; at Capena two moons were visible in the daytime." Ezekiel's Wheels, a major manifestation of the entities. Recorded sightings from the Jewish prophet Ezekiel. 593 BC, Chaldea, near the river Chebar, Iraq (Ezekiel 1:13-14) As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, like the appearance of torches moving to and fro among the living creatures. And the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning. And the living creatures darted to and fro, like the appearance of a flash of lightning. Heavenly entities titled \"stars from heaven\" intervene for Israel against King Sisera. 1125 BC, Kishon River near Mount Tabor, Israel (Judges 5:20) From heaven the stars fought, from their courses they fought against Sisera. 1460 BC, Upper Retjenu, Lebanon The stela of Gebel Barkal, erected in honor of Thutmosis III, describes a fantastic celestial event during a war: "A star fell to their South position. It struck those opposed to him (the Nubians). None could stand..." (Lines 33-36). "[The star] positioned itself above them as if they didn't exist, and then they fell upon their own blood. Now [the star] was behind them (illuminating) their faces with fire; no man amongst them could defend himself, none of them looked back. They had not their horses as [these] had fled into the mountain, frightened... Such is the miracle that Anion did for me, his beloved son in order to make the inhabitants of the foreign lands see the power of my majesty." Depictions of winged Anunnaki/Mal'akhim \"shining ones\" from ancient Babylonia and South America submitted by /u/menorahman100 to r/SaturnStormCube [link] [comments]

Sorry I’ve not been in touch guys. It’s been a busy month. However, I’m pleased to announce that, as of yesterday night, I’ve finally touched down in Phoenix, Arizona. I’m posting this log from my first American hotel room, which offers a gorgeous view of both the state hospital and a local prison. Auspicious times. Drop me a line if you’re in the city or if you have any information at all. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 The Left/Right Game [DRAFT 1] 15/02/2017 As the darkness closes in, I find myself dragged deeper and deeper into the depths of my own subconscious, until I sink through the back of my mind into an indescribable place. A featureless, directionless, timeless void that exists at the weakest point of life. I can feel myself drifting away, surrendered to an almost imperceptible tide, carried slowly but inexorably from the world. The rest of the night unfolds in fleeting snapshots. I briefly feel my body lift up from the ground, gravity pulling at my limbs as I’m conveyed through the forest. An unknowable stretch of time later, I feel a distinct burning sensation to my right. In the world I currently inhabit, only an echo of the pain reaches me, but I can tell that it was once substantial. Unable to divine its purpose, I let the sensation fade away, before descending once more into the placid darkness. When my eyes finally work themselves open, the sun is beginning to rise. Without an ounce of strength left in my body, all I can do is peer through my eyelashes, taking in the vague scene before me. I’m in the back of the Wrangler, propped up against a soft pillar of luggage. There's somebody kneeling beside me, tugging at my right shoulder. When I try to address them, I discover that my voice has withered to a spectral whisper, so frail that it hardly exists at all. AS: … Rob… Hearing my voice, the figure shuffles round and kneels before me, staring into my eyes as they slowly regain their focus. ROB: You just lay back Miss Sharma, I just finished patchin’ you up but I gotta make sure it’s good work. AS: Wh… what happened to you? ROB: Denise had me at gunpoint, had to act like I was all but dead. When she into the forest, I got free, took the med kit into the trees, fixed myself up a little. I was comin’ to help when I heard this awful noise. Went to check it out... that’s when I found you. AS:... Is the engine running? ROB: Wanted to warm up the place for you. You were in shock, and since the battery don’t run down anymore I thought- AS: No I mean… how? The key, it got- ROB: You think I’d risk gettin’ out this far with only one copy of my car key? Rob seems almost insulted, and thinking back to everything I’ve learned about him over the course of this trip, I can see why he might be. Even in my weakened state I can’t help but laugh; though it admittedly comes out as stilted wheezing, diffusing quietly into the air. AS: No that’s… that’s actually very “you”. I think Bluejay would’ve appreciated that information last night. ROB: Yeah well, she didn’t ask. AS: … I’m glad you made it Rob. ROB: Glad you made it too. They build’em tough down in London. I rest my head back against the luggage. AS: I’m from Bristol. ROB: Of course… yeah of course that’s… sorry… Rob tries to recover his smile, but it slips quickly from his grasp. In its absence, his features cringe into sudden, uncontrollable sadness. ROB: Miss Sharma I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Rob Guthard’s weathered face bursts into a heaving mess of tears. He repeats those two words as he lumbers towards me, throwing his arms around my waist and resting his head on my left shoulder. My hand feels like lead as I raise it up and brush it against his hair, holding him against me. As the man continues to sob, I let my head roll slowly to the right, observing the damage to my arm. Last night, lost in the muddled throes of shock, the harm had been unquantifiable, the details drowned out by the encompassing haze of severe blood loss and a blaring, primal alarm which had forced me to move without questioning why. Now that I’m on the other side, bathed in the quiet warmth of the Wrangler, I’m able to fully assess the extent of my injury. Everything below my right elbow is gone. It feels almost like a dream. My upper arm is practically unblemished, save for a few dark bruises from last night’s fall, yet it descends an impossibly short distance before ending in a blunt, surreal stump. The wound itself is hidden from view, swaddled in fresh white bandages. I can’t seem to figure out how I should feel and, consequently, I don’t seem to feel anything. AS: It’s ok Rob. It’s ok. ROB: I never… I never meant for any of this to- AS: I know… I know. Rob pulls back, his eyes still watering. ROB: I’ll take you home, ok? I’ll find somewhere to turn around and we’ll get you home. I can tell Rob’s offer is genuine, and to be honest I’m a little surprised. I still remember our verbal agreement, forged at the mouth of the tunnel; that he would not be turning his car around until he reached the road’s end. I never expected he’d be the one to renege on the deal. I’m aware this could be my best chance to leave it all behind; to flee from the horrors of the road, before they take even more of me. I know the way back. I know that it leads to safety, to family, to blessed normality. However, as an insidious voice in the back of my mind quietly notes, it doesn’t lead to answers. AS:... I’m still game if you are. Rob sends me a heartbroken smile, which I would return if I had the strength. In that moment, a sombre understanding develops between us. An understanding that after everything we’ve seen, everything that’s happened, we’re both still choosing the secrets of the road. The decision reveals something about us, exposing a driving force behind our actions that negates our concern for survival, and overshadows the imagined protests of our loved ones. It’s a decision only two broken people would make. Rob spends the morning packing up the Wrangler, giving me time to rest. The fact that he’s walking around at all is remarkable, let alone conducting his usual routine at his usual pace. As I begin to feel life crawl slowly back into my veins, I wonder whether the strange force that has sustained us both, as well as the Wrangler’s fuel tank, could also have a mild restorative effect. The notion should bring me comfort; instead it makes me feel like a lobster in a tank. A few hours later, Rob carries me out of the car, letting me rest in the doorframe. In front of me lie three mounds of dirt, raised slightly from the surrounding earth. Two are headed by crosses, formed from knotted sticks bound tightly together. The grave on the far left lies bare, bereft of any religious affiliation. AS: Is that… Bluejay’s? Without the cross? ROB: Didn’t think she’d want one. AS: She wouldn’t have done that for you, you know. ROB: Good thing I ain’t her then. I buried what I can, but that was some state she was in. Did the child kill her? Rob goes to throw a foldable spade into the back of the car. For a brief moment, I consider letting his statement go unanswered. AS: No, it didn’t… I did. Rob immediately marches back round, his brow furrowed in confusion. AS: I hid a C4 charge in my satchel. When she took the bag I… well… I gesture to the bare grave. Rob looks as if he’s seeing me for the first time. ROB: Where did you- AS: From your son’s car. I watch as my quiet assertion strikes Rob’s ears, as its meaning burrows through his consciousness, its implications contorting his features into a look of shame and damning revelation. I can tell from his reaction that I’ve got it right. We haven’t had a chance to speak since I learned his son’s name. That piece of information formed the crucial thread, stringing together the strange and seemingly incongruent discoveries I’d encountered on the road. Earlier in the week I may have been worried to confront him with this information, but things are different now. We’ve come too far, we’ve been through too much and, if he’s truly ferrying me somewhere with malicious intent, I’m powerless to stop him anyway. I raise a weak hand towards him; a quiet request for assistance. AS: I think it’s time we had a second interview. Following a tense and guilty silence, Rob simply nods and helps me into the passenger seat. ROB: It wasn’t military. It was commercial. The Wrangler continues to crawl through the forest. I’ve stayed quiet for almost half an hour, letting Rob formulate a response in his own words, and in his own time. AS: Commercial? ROB: Yeah, explosive charges for controlled demolition. Bobby was in the business, had his own firm. AS: You must’ve been proud. ROB: Yeah… yeah he built that place up from nothin’. Tourin’ his office was one of the best days of my life. AS: So… how did he end up out here? Rob grows quiet, reluctantly accepting that he’ll have to start from the beginning. ROB: … Bobby was a smart kid… smarter than I ever was. He coulda run the farm at 15 but, country life didn’t take. Instead he moved away to Phoenix, picked up a college degree, got himself a steady career. AS: A steady career? That’s pretty rebellious for a Guthard. ROB: Hah… well we were pretty different people… didn’t always get along. I was still a courier in those days, always jettin’ off somewhere new. ‘Course I went to Japan, stayed there a while. Then… AS: Aokigahara. ROB: That’s right. Changed everythin’. Came home after five years with a new hobby. Bobby didn’t care for the stories but... his ma had died sudden while I was away; we both wanted to start over, be in each other’s lives more so... he came with me to the Pacific North West, trackin’ down Sasquatch. Creature didn’t show, but Bobby had a good time campin’ so he kept joinin’ me. Before long he was doin’ the research himself, organisin’ trips, pickin’ up rumours of strange stuff all across the country. AS: Sounds like a nice time for you both. ROB: It was. AS: So… was it Bobby who discovered the Left/Right Game? ROB: … He called me up one day, outta the blue. This was about three years ago. Said he’d found a set of rules; said we should try out. To be honest, I thought our trippin’ days were over; I was back in Alabama and he was startin’ up a family of his own, but suddenly he’s tellin’ me to meet him in Phoenix so, of course I went along. AS: And this time, you both realised it was real. ROB: Bobby knew as soon as we reached the tunnel. He passed that way every day, knew it wasn’t supposed to be there but… there it was. He said that was the most amazing thing he ever saw. We charted it over the next year, whenever we could get the time together, but we moved slow, mapped the place out, turned back on the regular. It took us a while before we got the courage to stay on the road overnight, both of us were terrified the tunnel would disappear or somethin’. I can tell Rob is replaying the events in his head. The reminiscence almost makes him smile. ROB: Bobby’s wife was a real doll. Used to work in his office. Kindest girl I ever met, funny too. There was a decade between’em but you could tell they were good for each other. He shared everything with her, including the road. In fact, once Bobby got a little more secure with the rules, they started to map it together…explorin’ their own little world. After a brief pause, Rob’s expression sinks slightly; the reminiscence is growing darker. ROB: Few months go by, I’m hearin’ from Bobby a little less but, I expected that. Then one evenin’ I get a call from the hospital, tellin’ me my boy had walked into some ER in Phoenix. AS: Was he ok? ROB: No. He was in a bad way. Leg all busted up, delirious, askin’ for Marjorie. They found her bag in his car but... she was nowhere to be found. AS: Bobby lost her on the road. ROB: Yeah, that’s right. AS: On our second night here, after we lost Ace, you told me the road had never hurt anyone before. ROB: Well, that wasn’t a lie at least. It wasn’t the road that got’em. AS: … What do you mean? ROB: They made it to the forest. None of us had got that far before but… this time they pushed a little further than usual. AS: Do you know why? ROB: They were gonna have a kid. Marjorie was almost due… wasn’t travellin’ so well. I think they knew they wouldn’t be hittin’ the road for a while. It was like a uh… like a last hurrah I guess. AS: But only Bobby came back? ROB: They explored the woods till nightfall. When Bobby said they had to turn back… Marjorie didn’t want to. He never told me why, never told me what happened. By the end of that trip, Marjorie was still out there and he was in a hospital bed. Rob takes a moment to collect himself, to put the facts in order. The trees are starting to grow thin, sunlight bursting through the widening gaps in the canopy. It looks like we’re nearing the forest’s end. ROB: Bobby took a month or so to recover. Boy was desperate to get his wife back, and of course he’d become a suspect in her disappearance. Needless to say the first thing he did was head onto the road to find Marjorie. AS: But he didn’t. ROB: Nope… No he found her. Just uh… a little sooner than he thought. I take a moment to process Rob’s implication. Suddenly I feel a stone drop in my stomach. AS: She was on the 34th turn. Rob nods solemnly. ROB: Wasn’t the woman he knew of course. Stood there all day, just mumblin’ about the road. Didn’t even recognise him. I remember he called me up right after he first saw her there, his heart breakin’. He tried almost every day from then on, always stoppin’ at that turn. He’d yell, he’d plead, he’d bring pictures and gifts but… she never responded. Don’t know if it was really her but, whatever was on that corner, it belonged to the road. ROB: Bobby lost somethin’ of himself on that corner. After a while, his fascination with the game turned sour, turned to hate. He thought the road was somethin’ evil, that it had no place linking into our world. ROB: I was checkin’ up on him at that point, every few days or so. One weekend he said he was doin’ better, even said he’d been in to work. I thought maybe things were turnin’ round but... then he went quiet; didn’t pick up his phone for three days. I had my place in Phoenix by that point, and a spare key to his house. That’s where I found the note; tellin’ me he’d gone back through. One last bid to find his wife… and if he couldn’t bring her back well- AS: He was going to destroy the tunnel. ROB: Cut the road off from the world. I played the game in Phoenix, Chicago, a few different places, but that one tunnel is what links you to the road. I looked around his garage, found the box for a phone, lot of electronics all over the place… pretty clear what he’d done. So I jump in my car. We pass out of the forest, onto a long narrow road. In the distance, I can see our route winding up a towering wall of sandstone, disappearing into a set of rolling mountains. ROB: He passed me on his way back, just before I hit Jubilation. Thunderin’ down the road at full speed, drivin’ like crazy. That’s when I knew he hadn’t found her… that he was goin’ to take out the tunnel, end the game once and for all. AS: But he never got that far. ROB: I tried to talk to him. Called his cell, tried the radio frequencies, there was a number on the sim card documentation that he had, god help me I even messaged him on that one. In the end it was just me and him, racin’ back to Phoenix. He was faster than me but I was drivin’ better. After few bad corners I caught up... AS: You ran him off the road. Rob stares out at the faraway ridges, his hands grasping the steering wheel. ROB: Cell service don’t work through the tunnel. He knew that. He was either goin’ to blow it up on this side… or while he was in there. AS: So you were trying to save him or save yourself? ROB: Neither. I was tryin’ to save the road... Say what you want about this place Miss Sharma, but it’s a doorway out of everythin’ we ever known. It’s the road out of… out of reality. It may be the most significant frontier we ever cross and that’s… part of me knew, that was too important for one man to take away. For the second time today, Rob battles back tears, and for the second time, he fails. They roll silently down his cheek as he continues on. ROB: He was more injured than I thought. He’d hurt himself bad before he reached me, that’s why he was headed to the tunnel so quick. He wanted to destroy it while he still could. ROB: The road had taken almost everythin’ from him, and then I took the rest… I denied him his hope, took away his chance to leave the world on his own terms. In the end he didn’t even seem angry… he just asked after Marjorie. Asked me why she did it, why she left. I laid him to rest there, visited the place often but… I never had a good answer for him. That’s when I started preppin’ the next run. AS: So you posted his logs online, and pretended to discover them. ROB: Thought people would ask less questions that way. AS: And where did we all fit in to this? Why did you bring us here with you? ROB: I guess… I thought it was time the world knew. Didn’t want all this to end up an old man’s secret. Honest to God, if I knew the road was gonna… I swear I never woulda brought you here. Rob’s features tighten, all his shame and guilt rising to the fore. I can’t say it isn’t deserved. Despite his intentions, despite his penitence, the man had blinded himself to clear dangers, hurt those closest to him and, on a road where secrets had killed so many, he’d kept the most significant one of all. Well, perhaps not the most significant. AS: You didn’t bring us here Rob. Rob turns to me, confused. AS: I met someone in the forest last night, a figure, just like the one you saw in Japan, “looked like static you see on a TV screen” … I think it was you Rob. I think I saw you and I think that… all those years ago… In my current state, the mechanics of the event, and their stunning implications, lie beyond my explanatory capacity. In the end, I just raise my lost right arm, and wait for Rob to make the connection. A moment later the car screeches to a halt. Rob stares straight ahead, his knuckles white against the steering wheel. I’m aware that beneath his stone-set features, every square inch of grey matter is fighting to process the fresh revelation. If it’s true that, in those quiet woods, I somehow reached across the decades to a young Rob Guthard, then it changes everything. The twisting narratives that led us to this point, Rob’s burgeoning obsession, his son’s tragic fate, they all took root in that single moment. More than a decade prior to my own birth, I’d placed us on the path which would lead me to his door. As chaotic as the road often seems, that moment in the forest hints at something deeper, something intentional. Rob steps out of the car for a while, before wordlessly climbing back in and firing up the Wrangler. From that point on we continue as two silent passengers, lost in thought, disappearing into the sandstone mountains. We travel across the thin mountain road for the next two hours, a wall of crooked rock hemming us in. When we pass onto the other side, and the outcrop falls away, the landscape below us has changed completely, and we’re treated to a strange and breath-taking sight. The Wrangler is traversing the cliffs above a vast, flat desert; a tundra of vibrant orange stretching as far as the eye can see. I can just make out the road, cutting a meandering path through the sand far below us. At the centre of this otherwise featureless expanse, a collection of monolithic structures, towering columns of glass and metal, rise from the ground, connected by a web of long perpendicular streets. AS: There’s a city… there’s a city on the road. Rob keeps his eyes forward. Despite the epic majesty of the cityscape below us. I can tell that his mind is elsewhere, that he’s still digesting the contents of our interview. In the end, I think it best to leave him alone with his thoughts. We stay on the mountain for another twenty minutes, before finally winding down to the desert floor. The space ahead of us is two-tone; the sharp saffron of the desert and the deep blue sky, separated by a thin, even horizon. The only objects that cross this perfect boundary, are the hulking grey towers of the city, rising from the sand, and bursting through into the heavens. We snake along the desert road, the city looming ever larger as we make our tentative approach toward the border. There’s an eerie contrast to the threshold as we cross it; the cupreous glow of the sand switches to grey, the scorching heat instantly cools, and perhaps most notably, what little sound there was is negated entirely. As we delve down an empty, perfectly maintained throughway, I realise that I can’t hear anything at all except for the Wrangler’s steady rumblings. AS: It’s quiet. ROB: That’s fine by me. AS: Who do you think built this place? ROB: I don’t know. Maybe whatever brought us here. Could be that no one built it… maybe it just is. I wonder if he’s right. It’s hard to think such a place would exist for any practical purpose. The city looks off somehow, as if it was built from conjecture, by an architect who had only heard of cities through poorly translated rumour. All the broad features are present, skyscrapers, lampposts, window cleaning platforms, but nothing deeper. It’s an empty shell. An ornament in the middle of the desert. As we turn down the next few roads, I stare up at the monolithic structures, each one standing at least a hundred stories tall. My eyes track back down the countless strata of dark windows, as I contemplate what it might be like to live in such a place. When I reach the ground floor, I’m presented with my answer. There’s a young man standing at the ground floor window, his hand resting against the glass. He’s wearing a dark grey suit, and a look of almost mesmeric shock. His mouth open, his hands shaking, his unblinking eyes staring past us as the Wrangler rolls by. My eyes quickly track back up the skyscraper’s glass facade, scrutinising each row of windows in turn. I’d naively hoped the buildings would be empty, that this place would be nothing more than a colossal ghost town. Now that I know otherwise, each pane of glass feels like a dark pool of water; still on the surface, but with sinister potential lurking within its depths. A few seconds later, more of them arrive. There aren’t many at first; just a few scattered figures stepping up to their windows, pressing themselves against to the glass. However, like a light sprinkling of rain that erupts into a downpour, the frequency of their arrival quickly doubles, then triples, until not a single space lies unoccupied. The Wrangler shrinks, subject to the scrutiny of countless individuals, on every floor, in every window, all of them clad in the same monochromatic formalwear and staring down at us like the emissaries of a grand tribunal. As the Wrangler passes by, they continue to stare straight ahead, though it’s clear they’re aware of our presence. AS: Rob. Rob there’s- ROB: I see’em. Rob puts his foot down, shedding the weight of a thousand pairs of eyes as he leaves the building behind. As the final column of windows slips by us, I glance back, hoping to see them return to the depths of the building. Instead, in those last few moments, I witness their collective demeanour fracture into a desperate frenzy, their mouths opening in a silent scream as they slam their fists against the glass. Turning back around, I stare into the buildings that currently flank our vehicle. The figures have already arrived at the windows, and their calm is already fading. AS: Rob, we need to go faster. ROB: I’m on it. The Wrangler growls with renewed ferocity as Rob plants his foot onto the gas. We lurch towards the next corner, accelerating down the road as Rob scans for any hidden turns. I achingly shift in my seat, keeping an eye on the scene developing in our wake. Shards of broken window begin to rain onto the asphalt. Watching the shattered pieces tumble through the air, it’s apparent that the quiet in this city isn’t simply due to a lack of activity. The torrent of splintered glass is completely silent, even as it crashes against the impervious ground. Nothing in this city makes a noise. Nothing except us. The thunderous engine of the Wrangler has never sounded so loud. Looking up, I witness hundreds of hands gripping the shattered window frames, unable to turn myself away as thousands of polished black shoes step over the threshold. The figures stream out from every floor, forming an incomprehensible deluge of humanity. The first wave strikes the ground, with more and more landing against them; a heap of tangled figures struggling to separate themselves. Much like the residents of Jubilation, and everyone else we’ve encountered on the road, they appear impervious to the fatal harm such an act should impart. Those that landed on their feet hardly even stop, turning towards us, and sprinting after the Wrangler. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the writhing mass to resolve itself, its constituent individuals joining the frantic stampede, their chaotic charge and desperate screams bereft of any perceivable sound. Even in the midst of the frenzied pursuit, as a foreboding shower of glass falls from every building we pass, the world outside remains silent; the chaos made even more incomprehensible framed against the ungodly stillness in which it takes place. Rob screeches around the corner, drifting onto a long and open street. The roadway ahead is flanked by skyscrapers disappearing to a narrow vanishing point. As we race down this next stretch of road towards a large intersection, the ever growing mob bursts onto the street behind us, taking the corner with supreme coordination and continuing tirelessly in our direction. A split second later, I’m struck by an abrupt and pervasive idea. It feels unlike any thought I’ve ever had before, less of a notion, and more a prescient hybrid of intuition and de ja vu, as if the course of action we must take is obvious to me, despite my not knowing why. I force my voice above a grating whisper. AS: Rob. We need to drop something behind us… something loud. ROB: What’re you thinkin’? AS: I uh… you just have to trust me ok? We still have most of the plastic explosive could you- ROB: Nah, if you took out the blasting cap I ain’t got time to make a new one. Rob’s glances into the rear view, then back to the road. I can almost hear the gears turning in his head. ROB: But that the only explosive on-board. Think you can drive? AS: I guess we can find out. The car thunders across the tarmac as I clumsily grasp the wheel, shifting myself over and working my foot onto the accelerator. Rob lifts himself away and climbs past me into the back of the Wrangler. In my weak state, every shuddering motion makes my bones rattle. With each subsequent gearshift, I’m forced to take my remaining hand off the wheel and reach across to the stick. The effort is precarious and awkward, my aching limbs puppeteered by will power and adrenaline, every passing second a battle to maintain control. The windows up ahead are starting to fracture. The noise of the Wrangler is carrying, and the entire city is starting to pre-empt our arrival. Behind me, I can hear the ripping of duct tape, the tearing of fabric and the clattering of falling luggage. I’m not sure what’s taking place behind me. I just have to trust that Rob has a plan. I hear the back door swing open just before we reach the intersection, a metallic scraping along the Wrangler’s floor, and a pained grunt from Rob as he throws something onto the road behind us. Reaching the crossroads, I slide my hand along the wheel and twist it sharply to the right. As the car lurches round, and onto the next road, I feel my heart sink dramatically. We’ve been overtaken. The windows ahead of us are shattered, the front doors lay broken on the street, and the building’s desperate inhabitants are rushing towards us, blocking off our only means of escape. I slam my foot onto the break, and the Wrangler shudders to a halt, the engine stalling and cutting out. The streets are now spilling over, an overwhelming swarm converging on our position from four directions. I look back to Rob, and he meets my gaze, his eyes brimming with dismayed finality. An explosion shudders through the air behind us. I look out the back window to see a shattered jerry can, one of Rob’s now superfluous fuel reserves, its dark green shell violently compromised, its contents spilled out across the road and cast alight. Now that the engine isn’t running, the echo of the blast and roar of the primal, balletic flame fills the afternoon air. The trajectory of the maddened crowd changes instantaneously, the silent Wrangler has fallen from their collective attention, as they refocus onto the smouldering flames. Those up ahead continue to rush past us, streaming around the Wrangler as they scramble to the spilled pool of gasoline, digging their hands into the blaze, grasping hopelessly at the fire. Delicately, careful not to make a single shred of noise, I climb out of the driver’s seat, joining Rob in the back of the Wrangler. He addresses me in a confused whisper. ROB: Why don’t they care about us? What are they doing? AS: … It’s the sound. They want it for themselves. I don’t how I’m so sure, but I know that it’s the case. The jerry can creaks and screams as the city dwellers tear it into smaller and smaller pieces, frantically examining every jagged scrap. With each passing second, as the fire dies down, the crowd grows increasingly distressed, as if a precious commodity is slipping through their fingers. AS: They don’t understand it. They’ll pull it apart trying to figure it out and they’ll never get any closer… and then it’ll be quiet again. ROB: Where you gettin’ this from? AS: I don’t know, just a uh… just a feeling. ROB: Well... pretty sure they woulda pulled us apart too. I’d say we’re pretty lucky. AS: Hah, yeah… pretty lucky. As the last of the gasoline is eaten up, and the fire dies away, the city dwellers remain in the streets. Devoid of their momentary sense of purpose, their prize vanishing into the ether, the crowd’s desperation fades into a hushed despondency. I watch them as they pass by, countless faces wracked with sorrow, their aimless shuffling forming a lonesome sea, a grayscale ocean that spans the desolate city. The Wrangler is now adrift in the centre of that ocean. It’s clear that any attempt to start the engine would bring the entire city down on us, reigniting their futile hope, causing them to tear through the car, and anything inside it. For the foreseeable future, we’re completely stranded. ROB: Don’t worry about it, ok? AS: I don’t think they’re going to leave Rob. ROB: They’ll leave. AS: Ok… and what then? They’ll still be everywhere. ROB: Hey, we’re a smart pair. We’ll think of somethin’. In the eerie, pervasive calm that surrounds us, I sit myself down next to Rob and lean back against the wall, with nothing else to do but wait for our situation to change. After watching the figures outside for over an hour, the only thing that’s different is a strange needling sensation that feels like it’s emanating from now absent forearm. AS: My uh… my arm hurts… how’s that possible- ROB: Don’t worry that’s uh… it’s called Phantom Limb. You got some sensation right? Like you still got somethin’ there? A lotta people get that after amputations. Here… Rob reaches into his medical kit and retracts a blue jar of tablets. Twisting off the cap, he shakes two pills free. ROB: You’re gonna need these for the pain. I stare at the tablets for a moment, before collecting them from his open palm. He passes me his canteen and I swallow them down in two weak gulps. AS: You have a lot of experience with amputations? ROB: … More than you’d think. My brow furrows. Though I’d meant my remark as a passing jibe, Rob’s response rings with a strange sincerity. It takes me a moment to realise why that is. AS: I forgot... you were drafted. You never talked about it. ROB: Been thinkin’ about it a lot though. Bunch of strangers brought together under false pretences, told that we were servin’ a grand purpose by some old liar. Guess it’s interestin’ how time repeats itself. Now that I think about it, he drove a Jeep too. AS: Rob… I told you, you didn’t bring us here- ROB: That don’t change nuthin’. Don’t change what I did… to you, to Bobby, to any of ‘em. Maybe you were there in the forest but I was the one who started this, the one who kept askin’ what was at the end of the road. AS: What do you think is at the end Rob? ROB: Startin to think that ain’t for me to know. I been movin’ from place to place so long, seen everyone else settle down. Far as I can see, the end of the road is just wherever you decide to stop. I rest my head on Rob’s shoulder. He gently places his arm around me. It isn’t long before medication starts to take effect, quietly overtaking my already weakened constitution. The pain subsides, dulled along with the rest of my senses. The sun is still streaming through the windshield as my eyes begin to drift shut. I watch the figures pass the window, my eyelids getting weaker. AS: I don’t want this to be the end Rob. ROB: I know Miss Sharma, I know. The last thing I see before I fall into a dreamless artificial sleep, is Rob Guthard’s hand reaching for the rifle. When my eyes work themselves open, the sun is beginning to set. I’ve been moved. As my vision adjusts, it becomes clear that I’m still in the Wrangler. My head resting against a pile of fresh clothes, a soft travel blanket laid across me. I glance around to find that Rob’s nowhere to be seen. Momentarily forgetting the situation outside the car, I attempt to call out for him. The syllable catches in my throat as a shambling figure passes by the window, wringing its hands in despair and casting a long shadow through the car. With a renewed sense of caution, I slide the blanket to one side, and slowly make my way to the up front. The cabin is similarly empty, except for a single scrap of paper, torn from my notebook. It lies on the driver’s seat, a small object hidden within the fold. When I open it, I find my headphones and five neatly written words: “Channel One To All Cars” My hand starts to shake as I rest the note on the dashboard, slowly climbing through and placing myself gently into the driver’s seat. My heart in my throat, I insert the headphones into the jack of the CB radio, take a single, quivering breath in, and press the first button. AS: Rob? ROB: I’m uh… I’m sorry Miss Sharma. AS: Rob, where are you? ROB: Down the road a little. Got myself to one of the rooftops. I know I always hated cities but, once you’re above it, the view’s really somethin’. AS: Come back Rob. Come back... please. ROB: I wish I could. I do. But we both know those things ain’t leavin. And you need the car to get where ever you gotta go so… best I can do is make some ruckus, draw’em outta your way. I rest my head against the steering wheel, bracing myself against the weight of his words. AS: I can’t do this without you. ROB: I don’t think that’s true Miss Sharma. I think whatever’s on this road… it wants you to make it all the way. All I was meant to do was bring you this far. Now you don’t have to listen to it, you can turn around and head home… but either way only one of us is drivin’ outta here. So I guess the only question left is... which way d’you wanna go? AS: Well… are you ahead of me or behind me? ROB: I can be anywhere. It’s your choice Miss Sharma. In the wake of Rob’s words, in the shadow of the decision, I’m cast into silence; not because the choice is hard, but because I’m ashamed that it’s so easy. It was made the moment I first stepped into the Wrangler, and renewed in every perplexing moment since. The need to know, to comprehend, to uncover the truth has been with me all my life, but I never knew its roots ran so deep, that it would endure so ardently when everything else, everyone else, had been stripped away. I stare into the rear view mirror, seeing myself for the very first time, and I have to admit I’m scared. AS: Stay where you are Rob. ROB: Hah… ok Miss Sharma… you ready? AS: … Yeah. I’m ready. ROB: Alright then… suppose it’s about time this thing did some good. The shot explodes through the radio, before a faint booming echo reaches me on the quiet city air. Its effect on the city dwellers is immediate. Their collective melancholy shatters in an instant, replaced by a renewed fixation. Before I know it, the disparate crowd unites once more into a stampeding horde, rushing past the windows of the Wrangler and back down the road towards the source of the noise. ROB: They on their way? As the last of the city dwellers disappear behind me, I run my hand across the steering wheel, and down to the ignition. AS: Yeah… yeah they’re on their way. ROB: Ok then... what’re you waitin’ for? With a fateful twist of the key, the Wrangler roars back to life. The wheels kick against the asphalt, transporting me through the streets of the city. As I barrel away from the intersection, I see a small contingent of pursuers rushing around the corner behind me. Rob fires the rifle again, maintaining the attention of the majority. The stragglers fall away in my rear view mirror, losing ground against the Wrangler. I take the first left, then the next possible right, then another left, a few minutes later I eventually find myself on the last stretch of road, leading me back into the vast and empty desert. ROB: So, you gonna make it? AS: Yeah, I’m gonna make it. ROB: Good. That’s good. Miss Sharma, if uh… if you find Marjorie, if you get a chance to let me know… well it’s more than I deserve but-. AS: Of course… of course I will. ROB: I appreciate that. Ok, they’re gonna be here soon so… I’m gonna go radio silent for a while. If I call, you’ll know I made it out. If I don’t call… you just assume I made it out, ok? AS: Please tell me you’re going to be alright, Rob. ROB: … It’s been a real honour drivin’ with you Miss Sharma. The sound of a final shot reverberates through the radio, its echo drowned out by the roaring engine of the Wrangler. The world shifts around me as I burst out of the city, and back onto the desert road. The way ahead is laden with immense possibility, yet as I disappear into the vastness of the desert, I can only think of what I’ve left behind. Rob J Guthard had his flaws, marked by loss, driven by obsession, his good intentions often paving the way to tragedy and heartbreak. As the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, I decide to remember him differently; as a valued friend, a good man and, above all else, a great story. No matter how you tell it. submitted by /u/NeonTempo to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

The Ocean has its silent caves, Deep Deep, quiet, and alone; Though there be fury on the waves, Beneath them there is none. Over the course of the last few weeks of training I’d memorized nearly every facet of the Tuscany - every dial and every readout and every knob and screen and nuance of structure - and the quality of the personal submarine’s craftsmanship never ceased to astound me. It was a remarkable feat of engineering, this little beast; designed with such care that even the equipment on the hull could withstand more water pressure than the sea could muster up at any achievable depth. It was my Pegasus. My Trojan Horse; my very own Apollo 11 - and inside this matrix of layered syntactic foam I would follow the ballasts to the gratuitous and unexplored depths of Higgin’s Maw. I began the separation sequence, and the deep-diver fell away from the escort and dipped beneath the surface of the Pacific with silence and grace and a few knots of speed, and then I was consumed in a whole new world - albeit one I’d frequented - that of the sea. Schools of fish swam on by me, and when their cloud passed through a sunbeam it glinted silver, and beneath them swam rays that rolled their wings to the beat of the current, and out in the rocks crawled the crustaceans and sat the plant life that spruced up all the white-washed stones there like holiday ornaments. But I had an appointment to keep, and the oxygen tank was a demanding clock, so I dove right on past the old reef and out into the open waters where the seabed couldn’t be seen for many, many miles yet. ”The Maw,” Reuben had said. “Fifty thousand feet below the surface, Booker. Fifty thousand. Do you know what that means?” ”Means its a whole hell of a lot deeper down than the Challenger Abyss.” He’d nodded at that. “Are you ready to make history?” Was I? I thought I was. I’d prepared for this lonely dive and nothing else, for some years now. It was the culmination of a lifetime of work and study in the field, and so tight was its grip on my mind that I often dreamt of it in my sleep; of what I’d find at the bottom, and what it would mean. And what monstrous things might take offense to my presence there. No. No. I shoved that thought aside. Tuscany was all the protection I needed in that regard; it offered technology on the bleeding edge in lieu of a heavy hull, and that was enough to withstand enough water pressure to crush bones beneath skin and inches of steel. What animal had jaws more powerful than the ocean itself at fathom? So I hit the thrusters, and down I went, like a bullet to the pitch. I eyed the depth meter as much as I did the sea. One hundred feet. Two hundred. Sharks and turtles and uncountable fish swept past me. Three hundred feet. Five hundred feet. Seven hundred. A thousand. Twelve-fifty - the inversed height of the Empire State building. Fifteen hundred. Sixteen. The water began to blur and grain up and darken as the sunlight struggled to push on through. Two thousand. Twenty five. Three thousand. Thirty two - where the light no longer shines. And soon all the light I had to spill glow to the path ahead and down, were the lights of the Tuscany. I continued the descent for hours. The pressure meter ticked up in spasmic bursts, but up it went, up, up, up, soon ticking past the point where the weight of the sea would’ve crushed the steel of another vessel. One mile down. One point three. One point six - where even Sperm Whales hit their lowest dive. I could now claim with confidence that no mammal on earth was as deep down at that very moment as myself. And still I dove. Two miles. Two point one. Two point two. The water was as black as space now, except for where the lights of the Tuscany pierced through it, and the thickness of the fluid made it look like ink or oil or some kind of alien sludge that smeared up against the reinforced windows and slimed its way across the hull. Things were tight down here, despite the vastness of it all, yet still I dove. Thirteen thousand feet. The Abyssal zone. Pressure stands at 11,000 psi. I saw an Angler float by, and it was startled by the sheer volume of light spread by the Tuscany that dwarfed its own bioluminescent glow. It swam away, and I dove further. Fifteen thousand feet. Three miles. Three point one. Now things get interesting. Mankind had visited these depths almost infrequently enough to count the expeditions on a single pair of hands. I was now ranked among an illustrious few explorers, and although I wasn’t the first to hit these marks, I’d hit the deepest one yet before this journey was over. I was determined and I was capable. So I checked the depth chart. Sixteen thousand, two hundred eighty one point four feet. Nearly halfway to the world record. The Tuscany continued its dive. Twenty thousand feet down. The Hadal zone. Pressure here is eleven hundred times what it is at the surface. Twenty two thousand feet. Twenty six. Twenty nine thousand - The height of Mount Everest. Thirty. Thirty point five. Thirty one - the same distance from the surface as a commercial airliner at the peak of its flight. The Challenger Deep, what had previously been the lowest recorded place on the seabed, sat at roughly 36,000 feet below the surface, in the depths of the Mariana Trench. No light from the sun had ever come close, and to the best accounts life existed there, but only sparsely, and the pressure is unspeakable. But I was going somewhere vastly deeper, even, than that. ”All we know is we found a canyon,” Reuben had said. “Dwarfs the Grand - sitting dead center in the Pacific seabed. ‘Bout twelve hundred kilometers west of Hawaii, and another nine hundred south, and, near as we can figure, some fifty thousand feet straight on down.” Thirty six thousand feet. I was now tied for the world record. “Fifty thousand feet?! Why the hell are we just now seeing it?” Thirty six five. I did it. My heartbeat swept up to a faster rhythm. I was officially a world record holder; no human being in recorded history had been as deep below the surface as I was at that very moment. “New seabed scanning technology helped. Gave us a more detailed topographical map of the hydrosphere than we’ve ever had before, and once we got back the results, we took a look, and there it was. Just waiting for us. Inviting us down.” Thirty seven. ”So what’s down there? Thirty seven three. ”Hell, Doctor. If we knew that we wouldn’t be sending you, would we?” Thirty seven nine. ”I suppose not.” Thirty eight. Thirty eight five. The awful spirits of the deep Hold their communion there; And there are those for whom we weep, The young, the bright, the fair. Higgin’s Maw, according to the best information available to me at the time of departure, is a pit, roughly a full kilometer across. It begins at approximately forty six thousand feet below the surface and is estimated to bottom out at Higgin’s Deep, a small valley that sits at its base, some five thousand additional feet below that. The Maw is the largest and deepest such formation in the hydrosphere, and yet its dimensions and location are the only things concretely known about it. That, of course, is where myself, and where the Tuscany, come in. Forty three thousand feet down. I hit the floodlights underneath the Tuscany, and the glow washed over an alien landscape that likely hadn’t seen light in over a billion years. There were mountains here - mountains - ones that rivaled the Alps, and wild arches and plateaus that stretched far off to a murky horizon before being shrouded by seawater. I even saw life down here in the depths. A squid-like thing of simply monstrous size swam on by my boat. It stopped for a moment, and during that moment I thought it might take offense to me, but after looking hard at the Tuscany and brushing a tentacle down the port side it swam off in search of other things. “Atta girl.” I descended further. Forty four thousand feet. Forty five. And then, all of a sudden, there it was. The Maw. My mouth hung by the jaw as the sheer scope of the beast came into view. It was a breathtaking sight to behold; a monstrously large and equally dark hole in the crust of the earth that plummeted to inconceivable fathoms. I descended a bit further - forty five five, forty six thousand feet - and Tuscany fell into its yawn. Somehow things were even blacker in the depths of the thing, even though sunlight had long since been blotted out. Forty six five. Forty seven. Forty seven two. I began to become aware of a low current pulling me downward. It wasn’t particularly powerful, but it was unexpected and it was therefore alarming. And yet I couldn’t bear to pull myself back up. Not yet - I’ll turn around if it gets bad - so down I went, deeper and deeper and deeper still into the cavern. Forty eight thousand feet. Forty eight five. Forty nine. Forty nine one. And then I saw it. A glow. I squinted and dimmed my lights to confirm the intuition. What in the name of God…? It was there indeed, a dim reddish-purple, then green, then purple again, and then blue, floating on a mist of current some few thousand feet down. I resumed the dive to chase it. Forty nine five. Forty nine seven. Forty nine nine. The glow, whatever it was, was getting deeper, and wider, and brighter. Soon it filled up the whole path down and ahead. I dimmed the Tuscany’s under-lights to their lowest setting, and by fifty thousand feet I could see that the glow was coming from somewhere not directly beneath me, but off to the left and around a wide corner. This cave isn’t a straight pit. And sure enough, the hole bottomed out here, and then opened up to its left. Holy God. Holy God. It was a cavern chamber, at least a full kilometer up and deep and side to side and across, and only the enormity of its radius maintained the darkness of it despite the presence of thousands of floating bioluminescent pods that pulsed purple and green and blue and red and dimmed in the interim. I took the Tuscany in deeper, and her cameras whirred to life. Calmly the wearied seamen rest Beneath their own blue sea. The ocean solitudes are blest, For there is purity. The cavern became darker still when the pods faded into the water behind the ship. But there were more things to be seen here than rocks. Tuscany, about a quarter hour after entering the chamber, soon floated on by a bizarrely rope-like plant of utterly impossible size; one that appeared to stretch nearly across the height of the cave and grew wider at the base, although the bottom of it was shrouded in blackness. I took the submarine in for a closer inspection, and hit her lights to their fullest setting. Clack. My heartbeat slammed. There were suction cups on it. Each one as big as the Tuscany herself, and they writhed and pulsed across and down the full length of what was now very clearly a tentacle. In a panic I shoved Tuscany back and away from the thing, but when I tried to turn her around, the base of the hull collided with the beast and stuck fast to one of the cups. I gunned the thrusters and could hear a wet tearing sound as the machine ripped itself free from the cup’s grasp. But then the tentacle came to life. It whipped and whirled and smacked around the cavern, and pressed itself to the roof, and then it fell down, deep beyond where the darkness blanketed the floor. “C’mon, baby.” I hit the thrusters again, and Tuscany rocketed off the way it came, through the darkness and off towards the pods, whose glow I hoped would afford me an opportunity to shut the lights off the ship and make my escape. If I were so lucky. But very soon I began to hear and feel the movement of something unspeakably titanic rolling across the floor of the chamber. It rumbled and thundered, and shuddered and shook, and soon clouds of dirt and rock flew up out of the black pitch and blanketed the view forward and I could hear boulders smack against the ceiling of the cave before sinking again to where they'd been. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! “F-fuck!!” The sound had erupted across the entire breadth of the cave at once. My eardrums nearly burst and likely would have, had it not been for muffling of the explosion provided by the walls of the Tuscany. The submarine shook, too, but she held up her integrity well enough to for me to fly on past the floating pods, some of which were now knocked about on their sides and rolling, and back towards the yawning mouth of the tunnel that would take me back out into the open deep s- SMACK!! The Tuscany buckled and rolled with an impact. The Tentacle, I realized, had shot up from the ground and hit the bottom of the ship between her ballasts, but luckily it knocked her with force up towards the tunnel. I rolled Tuscany with the hit and managed to regain some control, and I boosted the thrusters into the turn and up again, now back into the Maw. Then I began to climb. Fifty two thousand feet. Fifty one five. Fifty one. ”So what’s down there? “Come on, baby. Come on. Don’t you fail me now. Don’t you fucking fail me now.” ”Hell, Doctor. If we knew that we wouldn’t be sending you, would we?” Fifty point five. Fifty. Forty nine nine. Forty nine six. Tuscany ascended with panicked speed, and all the while she did it I could feel the rumbling of the Tentacle’s pursuit in the walls of the Pit. It smashed its way on through the tunnel, and whipped and thrashed, but Tuscany was too quick a runner. Forty seven five. Forty seven. Forty six eight. Forty six four. Forty six thousand feet and climbing high. ”I suppose not.” Tuscany burst out of the Maw and was about to rocket straight on back up to the surface, but then the Tentacle flew out beside her nearly smashed in her front window. I bent the controls to the edge of their set-casing, and Tuscany tanked to the left and up a bit and missed the ground by inches. I hit the lights again to navigate the labyrinth of rocks as I struggled to remount the climb. But in the light of the ship I saw it; these weren’t rocks after all - they were other ships. Massive vessels, Imperial warships from ages past, bent and crooked and broken at the bottom of the sea, pulled down here by whatever it was that now threw its back to my devouring. The Tentacle smashed along behind me. Mainmasts and battlements and flat-decks and rusted iron and wooden boat hulls were splintered up and tossed to the winds of the sea, never again to reconvene. I took Tuscany through this nautical graveyard with far, far too much speed for my safety. Under ship towers we went, and through cannon mounts and past the blades of dead engines and around upended rudders. The cacophony of my flight and the destructive path set by my hunter awoke the life in the place. Fish washed out of holes, and cabins, and captain’s quarters and deep-deck stair flights and soon joined me in my effort to escape. But it seemed there was no escape to be found here. The entire ground for countless miles shook and rumbled with seismic force. It was thunderously loud, and it picked up speed and violence with time. Tuscany finally flew up to miss a splintered crow's nest atop the mast by less than a foot, and finally used that directed momentum to put away distance between the seabed and herself with as many knots of speed as her thrusters would allow without bursting from the effort. The depth chart began to rise. Forty five nine. Forty five two. Forty five thousand feet. Forty four eight. “Come on, you motherf-” GGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! The water itself seemed to shift with the sound. And then, out of nowhere, Tuscany was no longer the only thing spilling light to the Abyss; an orange glow flashed across the sea and for an instant illuminated nearly the entirety of its vastness. Then it blinked, and then flicked on again and stayed active. I shut off Tuscany’s lights to preserve every molecule of power for the ascent. Forty four two. Forty four. Forty three seven. Beside me in the glow I could make out other creatures retreating, too. Ones of spectacular size, again, that mankind had never catalogued and that I, sadly, would not have time at all to study. There were city-bus sized manta ray shaped things, wrapped up in clouded wisps of transparent jelly, and even that squid the size of a building, all flying upwards in a mass panic. I led the charge. Forty three one. Forty two eight. Forty two three. Forty two. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! I looked behind me and down through the rear window. The Maw had moved. It was alive. God almighty. I was in the Leviathan’s throat. I was in its fucking throat! I saw its Tentacle tongue lash out of the Maw and collect enough fish to feed a small town. Tuscany rocketed ever upwards as the Leviathan whipped even larger Tentacles behind it and gained speed with the force of a hurricane. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! The Leviathan opened its Maw yet again and spewed forth its tentacle tongue, and with it it whipped up several Olympic swimming pools’ worth of water into a gale-force maelstrom. The Mammoth Squid was caught in its fury, I saw, and then it vanished into the pit forever when the Maw snapped shut with a thunderous, echoing snap. Tuscany, meanwhile, continued to rocket upwards, and managed to escape the whirlpool by a foot. Thirty nine five. Thirty nine. Thirty eight seven. Thirty eight two. Thirty eight thousand feet, and climbing. But the Leviathan pursued me relentlessly, riding on the flood of its own current. Its tentacles - each dozens of feet across and a mile long, beat the water back and tried to gain speed for their host. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! Thirty seven five. Thirty seven. Thirty six four. Tuscany had proved her worth with speed, and the pressure gauge now fell in jumps. It remained in the red and would for some time, but it was falling steadily, even as the depth chart rose. Twenty nine thousand feet. Twenty eight three. Twenty seven five. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!! But the Leviathan hadn't given up the chase. Not yet. I could feel it doubling its efforts. The displaced water rocked the Tuscany and she buckled and rolled in the synthetic current. Then I heard the Maw open up behind me and the water begin to whip and swirl itself into a frenzy by the oceanload. I punched the thrusters to breaking point. “Come on!!” The encasing syntactic foam was pressed to its limits; the reinforced glass began to chip every so very slightly, but the chips broke into cracks and those cracks began to crawl across the width of the windows. I checked the gauges. Twenty thousand feet. Nineteen eight. Nineteen four. Nineteen three. The ascent was slowing. Come on, baby. Come on. Come on, come on, come on. Please God. Be with me now. Be w- GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! In the orange glow of the Levianthan’s eyes I could see how quickly the water was slipping by Tuscany and getting swept up into the maelstrom. The submarine began to sway port to starboard and shudder and shake. Seventeen four. Seventeen thousand. Sixteen nine. Sixteen three. Sixteen one. Sixteen thousand. I watched the gauge with a nauseating desperation. Fifteen nine five. Fifteen nine two. I could feel her slowing to a crawl. Come on. Come on. Come on! *Fifteen nine two five. Fifteen nine four. Fifteen nine six. “Shit!!” And that was it; Tuscany was caught, and no sooner did the depth chart begin to slip then did I feel the whole submarine lose all sense of control and tumble backwards and around. I was thrown out of my seat and smacked my nose against the roof of the pilot sphere. Blood exploded, and it drenched my shirt and sprayed the glass and the entirety of the control set. I grabbed my face and began to apply pressure to slow the blood loss, but Tuscany again flipped ballast over ballast to starboard in the whirlpool and spilled me into the hatch ladder. I felt my shoulder dislocate and my kneecap smack into the bottom rung. My head swam, and still Tuscany tumbled backwards. The cracks on the windows spread faster. Sixteen three. Sixteen four. I could smell the inside of the Maw though the hull of the ship. But then, all at once and not a moment too soon, I got an idea. It wasn’t a particularly good one, but hell if it wasn’t better than nothing - I managed to limp and tumble my way to the controls and grip the handles as the ship rolled. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait… GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Now! The sound of the roar was so close every last control surface in the sphere rattled in its case. My eardrums rattled, too, but then I flared up the thrusters again, full blast and at an angle, and the Tuscany shuddered and flipped and shook and, with fortune, fell straight out of the maelstrom with inches to spare. I felt the edge of the Leviathan’s Maw graze the starboard side, and the impact again sent me into the roof while the ship rolled end over end over end again. I smacked my ribs up on a dip in the alcove and fell back down into the seat, head first, and then out onto the floor. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! I managed to right myself with my good arm and get my bearings. I was free, but only just; the Tuscany banked and tumbled again and rolled, slower now in the absence of the whirlpool’s flood current, but not yet in control of its pull. I tried to steer away, but it was useless; the ship flipped around the back of the Leviathan’s titanic Maw and up over its head as the beast flew on by underneath me like a freight train. And for the first time since catching the monster’s eye I began to fully appreciate the magnitude of its size. It’s back was an endless, snake like and sharp-finned spine the size of a minor mountain range, and only quick maneuvering moved Tuscany away from the jagged back fins that chugged up towards me and sliced open the sea itself. They missed me by feet, and the blast of the current they’d swept up sent the submarine reeling backwards, off a bit further and into relative safety. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!! I quickly dimmed the lights to their lowest setting and caught my breath, as the full form of the Leviathan washed on past me. It stretched far away into the abyss below, for well over a mile, and dragging away behind it were thousands upon thousands of tentacles, a forest of the things, each the size of a six lane highway and tipped with razor sharp hooks and a flurry of wing-fins. It took a full three minutes for the beast to pass by me fully. And then it curved around in the other direction, and swam off in search of other things to devour. Gggggggrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! The form soon slipped away into a shadow. And then it was gone. I surfaced hours later, having allowing the battered Tuscany to take its time with the journey. She was solely responsible for my escape - my quick thinking be damned. A marvel of engineering indeed. Once I did break the surface I disbursed a distress beacon and then promptly collapsed from exhaustion. Evidently, I was picked up by the Coast Guard some hours after that, a few hundred miles southwest of Hawaii, and pulled from the near-wreckage of my submarine and taken to a hospital on the mainland. It was there that I woke up a full day later. As I recovered I heard some isolated chatter of tremendous seismic activity near where I’d been, and how the whole ocean floor had changed and moved and shifted form. But I couldn't care less. I told the bastards what I knew. And on top of that, they have the Tuscany and they have all the recorded evidence, and you now have this written account. What everyone does with this information now, is entirely up to them. All I know is that I won't be doing any more diving any time soon. I’ve come to a realization: that mankind has more than enough space to expand throughout and live upon and thrive in above and near the surface, and on land, and in the skies and soon, hopefully, out there amongst the stars. But there are things in the sea that hold ownership of the deep. And perhaps it's best to leave it that way. For all our sake. The earth has guilt, the earth has care, Unquiet are its graves; But peaceful sleep is ever there, Beneath the dark blue waves. - Nathaniel Hawthorne Part 2 Related Facebook submitted by /u/TheJesseClark to r/nosleep [link] [comments]