Afina Filtered Shower Head

Hi all, I've recently teamed up with the fluid dynamics department at Zurich University to engineer a new triple tier dripper system that's fully automated and only needs servicing and thorough cleaning every three brews, so you can make your coffee quickly in the morning and get on with your day. The TriOver™ features a recirculating pump that ensures regular pulsing every 16 seconds for a 45 minute brewing process and filters the brew through the bed thrice such that maximum extraction occurs. I've rigged a miniature shower head to the prototype for now and bought from major hardware stores from the US but I'm hoping to reduce the size of the shower head and support more mum and pop bathroom hardware shops in the future. Anyone interested? The cost would be approximately $2300 USD and produce marginally better coffee than a plastic V60. We're also offering a 10 day warranty as long as you service the product every three brews which involves specialised tools (not included). Replacement parts not guaranteed. Product not coming to a shop near you. submitted by /u/thedarkeningecliptic to r/pourovercirclejerk [link] [comments]

Looking for a shower head filter for hard water, I honestly can’t deal with the skin dryness and how my hair has been feeling lately since moving to a new apartment. It’s pretty clear the water quality here isn’t great. I’ve been researching options that help cut chlorine + mineral buildup, since that seems to be the main issue causing all this. I’ve seen a lot of recommendations for brands like Afina, Aquabliss, etc., but I’m not sure if they actually make a noticeable difference or worth it. Ideally, I want something that genuinely improves water quality, helps with hard water and is worth the investment. If anyone here has real experience or if there’s a better shower filter for hard water you’d recommend. submitted by /u/DeepFriedBooks to r/WaterTreatment [link] [comments]

Solved! Another thread managed to figure out what it is. It's a Replacement Filter Cartridge For Aroma Luxury Shower head HF 507 - Lemon It comes in individual packages, it was in a blue bag but nothing comes up on Google. It is hard to open. We had to cut it up. It smells like lemon and it's really hard. submitted by /u/Maxfae to r/whatisit [link] [comments]

I feel like the Chicago water is HARD. My hair is always so brittle/dry from it but when I go back to NY my hair is sooo soft. Thinking about a shower head filter. Anyone gotten one and have you seen results ? submitted by /u/dabebecharchar to r/CHIbitcheswithtaste [link] [comments]

I’ve lived in several countries and in multiple parts of the U.S., and I’ve never seen buildup like this. I recently upgraded to a filtered shower head after consistent skin irritation (not sponsored, just something I bought off Amazon), and after just a few weeks the filter cartridge looks like this (see photo). Is DC water really this mineral-heavy? Or is this normal and I’m just now noticing because I’ve never used a filter before? Has anyone in DC found: • A better shower filter that lasts longer? • A whole-apartment solution that’s renter-friendly? • Any actual measurable improvement in skin/hair after filtering? Not trying to be dramatic — just genuinely surprised at how fast this thing filled up. Curious what others are using. submitted by /u/AdVarious8176 to r/washingtondc [link] [comments]

It's wash day and my second time using this detangling shower head! I haven't seen too many people talking about it yet, so what is the communities thoughts on it so far? Have you tried it? Still on the fence? So far I'm really enjoying it! submitted by /u/According-Farmer-268 to r/Naturalhair [link] [comments]

I used a basic shower head filter in 2022-2024 but I never knew I needed to change the filter so I’m not sure how effective it was but I recall my hair fall definitely being less than what it is now. I’ve been having consistent, excessive hair fall/loss since December 2024. Stress—minimal, labs—normal, nutrition/calorie intake—not great. I’m thinking of trying out a shower filter again to see if that helps. Has anyone here tried out the Afina or the FilterBaby showerheads? I’ve been getting most recommendations and ads for these 2 specifically. If you have a different one that you really like though please comment submitted by /u/Technical_Contact954 to r/FemaleHairLoss [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/GreatestThrow-man Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1, #2. #3, #4, #5, #6 [New Final Update]: AITA for not wanting to walk her down the aisle or lie in a speech? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: manipulation, mild ableism, obsessive behavior, accusations of infidelity, mentions physical violence, attempted suicide Mood Spoilers: happy Editor’s note: added paragraph breaks for readability and removed older relevant comments for more spaces in this latest BoRU RECAP Original Post: May 10, 2024 I (41M) have two kids with my ex wife, (42F) a son John (22) and daughter Sally (20), I'm remarried to my wife (28). I'm very close with my kids, my son is engaged to Abbie, she seems nice but has been a bit pushy trying to create relationships with me and my wife, though she's also awkward with her. Abbie isn't close to her family, she told us many stories why and while some of her complaints don't seem awful, it's not my place to judge and I didn't live it so I can't know anyway. We've tried to be welcoming but Abbie has forced her way into some family traditions where she wouldn't have been invited, and some where no one outside of specific family would have. She has been calling Sally "sis" since they were only dating a few months, has an odd sister/mother-in-law thing she does with my wife, and the one I'm not a fan of, wants me to be like father to her. Not because we've clicked or anything. We are very different people, not saying that in a bad way, just saying it's not based on how we get along or anything. My kids and I have a tradition when they come over that we have a private catch-up in my office/study before they leave, which is now even more important to them because while they both get along well with my wife they don't want to have personal conversations around her yet. Abbie asked if we could talk, and after I explained the tradition John later asked that I do it, saying she'd never had a caring conversation with her dad. We compromised that I didn't include her in the tradition but do join the two of them for coffee and let her talk. Then she started calling me dad, they werent even engaged yet, John pulled me aside and begged me to give her that, laid this whole thing on me about me always being the dad she always wanted right in front of her and she just wanted that, told me she cried watching me and Sally together (she still gives me random hugs, I'm a lucky dad). I didn't like it but I do feel bad so fine I gave her that. She wants me to walk her down the aisle and the father/daughter dance. I don't want to walk her down, and I walk with a cane so dancing is hard. At my own wedding I only danced twice. John is begging for me to do one, preferably the aisle. They came over Sunday, John and I were talking, I thought to address it, when Ab walked in without knocking, asking if he'd told me yet. I asked what, John said she wanted me to say something about having a second daughter now in my speech and how I loved her. I just looked at him. She asked if I'd do the walk and dance for Sally, I said of course. She yelled she's my daughter too and I said it will never be the same, Sally is my actual daughter. I tried to explain I'd talk about her being a happy addition to the family and I love how happy she makes Jack, which i thought was a good compromise, but she started crying. John apologized and they left, but he called me when they were home nearly begging me to. AITA because I won't lie and say I love her or she's my daughter. Original Post Verdict: Not the Asshole   Update #1: June 26, 2024 (1.5 months later) I had planned on writing this sooner but life got in the way in a couple of really good ways, but people were helpful and asked for updates, and I have a surprise free day, so here it goes: Mother's Day my kids and their partners go to visit my ex wife. So it turns out my ex wife and Abbie are a lot closer than I realized. She calls her mom, which is part of where this comes from. Also apparently my ex has been egging it on. On mother's day they were talking about the wedding and I guess whenever Abbie referred to me it was as dad. My son apparently told her let it go, which led to yelling. Abbie about deserving to be my daughter, ex telling her that she's right, son telling her that I am trying and she should be realistic about things, Sally telling her I only had one daughter - which was apparently a response to Abbie saying to her that as my "daughters" they should be united. according to my son Abbi was crying, according to Sally she was crying ang yelling and kicked something before going to her room, and Sally told me she went off on her mom, but will not elaborate so I don't know what was actually said. But knowing Sally - whoo boy. Around 2am I got a text from Sally's partner's phone saying "Abbie really is great, she hasn't been perfect but you should give her a chance and you will learn to love her." I saw it when I woke up I tried to text her back but was blocked, so I called Sally but they were driving. They stopped by my place later that day because I am on the way and my daughter prefers my liquor and cooking and they told me about the night before. At the end I asked to speak to her partner alone, I asked if I had done something to upset her. She was confused and I told her I was blocked. She said I wasn't but checked her phone and I was, and I said it was after her message and she asked what message. I showed her, it was not on her phone anymore. At that point we brought in Sally and caught her up, neither of them were happy. A couple of days later John and Abbie dropped by unannounced; not something we really do in this family but ok fine, I had mad salmon, does not take long to cook. I cook 2 more, wife serves while I make drinks. The entire night was Abbie trying to bring up the wedding, John trying to change the subject, Abbie not allowing that. We talk logistics because I am helping them get some good deals through some professional contacts I have when finally she just says "so I was talking to mom, she said that you can walk me down the aisle and she'll do the dance, or you can dance and she'll walk, it's your call but you need to choose soon." I reiterated that I could not dance (she tried arguing that I had danced a little at my wedding but I made it clear that is different) and did not feel comfortable walking her. She got upset and said "mom loves me why can't you?" I felt bad but couldn't lie, I pointed out that she had John who loved her, my exwife, friends, she had people who love her. She said "but other than (ex-wife) those aren't my parents" I said "neither am I." She was very emotional so my wife and I gave them a few minutes. My son and I were alone later, he looked exhausted. He said the problem was that after Mother's day Abbie had called Sally and kept saying they are both my daughters, that I did not get to be close with one but not both, and that it was them against me - but at that one Sally cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war. Things were said. Grievances were aired. John had to hang up before it got worse, but I guess Abbie was shaken but there was a new problem; Abbie had decided in her head that I did not mean what I have been saying and was just doing it for Sally. He told me he would handle it. Ron Howard: He did not So now I get text messages from Abbie every couple of days acting like we have a secret relationship Sally doesn't know about, she even called herself my secret daughter and lol'ed. She invited my wife to lunch saying "2 out of 3 of his girl's" going out. She has even started using the pressure of showing up at events like a recent barbecue to play a certain image. She hugs me more and holds it, wants to do pictures with just me or my wife and I but always a few with just me to post with captions I do not like. My wife is getting especially annoyed because of how she is with her (I guess Abbie surprised her with father's day plans for me that had to be shut down, as it is she still inserted herself into the day) but she has a soft spot for her and when Abbie gets emotional she caves; my wife is a sweetheart. I asked him if he is upset with me and he said no, he just wished it was different. He said we're good, but he's worried he and Sally aren't, which is when I took the advice of some people and suggested pre marital counseling, he said he would talk about it. Abbie is insisting Sally go to her fitting. That shop should pay-per-view that potential royal rumble because Sally is not holding her feelings back anymore. I told him Sally loves him and I'll talk to her, but for now it is stressful all around. Abbie driving my wife crazy with her ideas for what my "girls" should be doing, driving me crazy with dad-daughter content, drove sally to the edge, and oh yeah, last night sent me an email with 3 styles of father-daughter dances and song options, so i'm not feeling any more respected or heard than before. The six of us have barely been in the same room in order to let things calm down since father's day, which was great until it was a shit show. Sorry this is so long, with all the craziness this is still the abridged version. We are supposed to meet Friday, Sally's partner and I have a bet going about how bad it will go. So onward and upward, I hope you fathers had a less dramatic day than I did, and by any chance does anyone know exactly how bad of a crime I need to commit to enter witness protection? Just curious   Update #2: October 2, 2024 (3.5 months later) I have gotten requests for updates on my situation, and as I enjoy a refreshing mojito and my wife her nojito, life feels good and the perfect time to amuse the world with my pain and familial drama! Plus a cousin of mine who apparently reads these and knows my situation gave me the convincing argument of "dude, you can't keep people hanging" and how can I argue with that airtight argument. I apologize for how long this is, a lot has happened. My wife's pregnancy is going well, keeping her as stress-free and pampered as possible has been my focus. It is such a different experience this time, both because of how much more involved I can be and how much better a relationship I have with my wife than I had with my ex. My daughter Sally has been great, even her partner has been great, helping with the nursery or driving her around when I can't. My wife doesn't know because it is a surprise, but my son has been building a crib for the baby, modeled after the one I built for him and his sister, to show my wife his support. My son is a good man, and he is still in there, he just has a soft spot for Abbie. Which I guess gets us to the part of the movie where Godzilla shows up and starts busting up buildings... So I called a family meeting with my kids to talk about the situation. Told John his sister was only doing wedding activities she wanted to and that the guilting requests needed to stop, that this was hurting his relationship with his sister. Sally was happy I said it so she did not have to yet again. I told him if he did not stop her from messaging me I would block her with a bluntly honest explanation why. We got a lot out, John seemed to understand but then a few days later they insisted on coming to talk. Sally and I decided we would get everything out. So all of us ate at our place, Abbie started in immediately about baby shower stuff and I told that is the kind of thing we wanted to talk about. I told her that I understood she has been trying to fill a hole that she has, that she thought she was getting a father, a second mother (she calls my ex-wife mom apparently) and a sister. I told her it was still possible but that she needed to start listening to us. I told her that for the sake of family we would give her a fresh start, if she agreed that moving forward she would respect our boundaries. My daughter did not love this idea but loves her brother and was willing to try. Abbie tried to say that since we were starting over we could define what the relationship would be and just be family, we told her we were not ready for that, that it needs to happen organically. She got mad that I am closer with my daughter's partner, which is true but we just get along, and that she deserved it for trying so hard. My daughter said something about trying things we actually want. She ran to our bathroom, he ran after her. After a while I checked on him, I could hear her repeating "this is not what I wanted." My wife, daughter, and her partner went out to the patio to give them privacy and salvage the night, after a bit I got a text saying they had just left. I checked in with him the next day and he said they talked more at home and she understood. For a couple of weeks things were good. The texts stopped except the occasional wedding question, since it was getting closer. She stopped pushing herself on my wife and Sally, and we thought was involving us in less in wedding planning out of respect, since as it was they only got the venue at the rate they did because of my professional connections and they know I was willing to help but not interested in helping plan, even if I am good at event-planning. But then I got a call from the venue telling me the card I used had been declined. Now this is a specific card I use for big purchases because of the miles so I knew it had a high limit. That was how I learned that they had changed dates by two months despite being informed I would still be out much of the money because it was too close to the date. I was furious, I mean I have been lucky in life financially but I am not blow-off deposits like nothing wealthy. Called my son, said he needed to get his ass to the house, just him. They both came. When they arrived I opened the door, she actually started with, "Dad!" I think I just replied "you have got to be f'n kidding me" and walked toward the table. Abbie had the nerve to ask where dinner was, my response was not polite as I made it clear that was not why they were here. I hoped my son would not lie to me so I asked what was going on with the venue. She started going into wedding details but my son interrupted to tell me they postponed because my ex-wife was unavailable because of a surgery and he had not told me because he was putting money together to pay the lost money himself, and he had just reached out to guests to let them know. And that is when Abbie's mouth opened..."we have extra time to work on our dance..." Now during this time my wife came home, and i was walking her toward the bedroom when Abbie said that. My pregnant wife with me I said, calmly, "I have different feelings about that and will elaborate further shortly" or something like that. Then I laid my wife down and got her water, turned on her symphonic covers of popular songs and walked back to the table and said something like "You are out of your f'n mind have you even been listening?!" I made it clear I was done with this nonsense, we all were, and kind of lost it asking she did not hear us last time because her head was up her ass. She was stunned silent (what a beautiful sound) and looked at me while I, admittedly with little filter, explained what Sally and I thought of our time with her and her attempts to force us to love her without even getting to know us. She started crying and stood up and shouted "then what was this even for?!" John asked what she meant, if she meant them and he started to freak out. She was frantic and said she meant delaying the wedding. Because, and I'm pouring another drink to write this, it was a ploy! My ex-wife and her decided if I HAD MORE TIME I would come around. Apparently my ex told her not to worry about the money because "I am loaded." She has always been bitter I make so much more than I did when we were married, as if that is out of spite rather than my career arc. I think she did that on purpose, frankly. But she not only told me that lie, she and my ex told John as well. He was distraught. Repeating "you lied to me" as she tried to spin it but he was letting it out about how much he has defended her and covered for her and she lied to him too. She was defensive and blamed my ex for telling her things and me for being stubborn, she yelled "why can't I just f'n call him dad" and, finally, after so long, I heard John respond "because he is not your f'n dad!" She started crying and something about his being the one that told she could call me that and he said he told her she might be able to eventually but he had told her again and again to slow down. She started sobbing and went to sit on her chair but missed and fell on the floor. Appreciating physical humor to break the tension I admittedly chuckled and hid my mouth behind my drink, this all led to a lot of sobbing. I said I needed to check on my wife and as I walked out she was repeating "I just want him to be my dad too." I came out and he was walking her to the door and apologized, I said not too, they left. He came over a few days later and said they had a long talk at home, he even asked her if she would have dated him if there was never a chance of being in the family. He believed her when she said yes but she admitted I was a big draw as well. I was the kind of dad she always wanted, my relationship with Sally is what she always wanted, and the way she said it gave John doubts that she loves him for him. I talked about marriage counseling, how his mother and I tried it and, while it did not save us, it provided clarity and an impartial voice. I pointed out they both like coming to me, but I cannot be impartial and if they are trying then they need to do it for real. Abbie texted asking if I was the one who suggested therapy, I responded with "does it matter if John wants to?" She asked why it is so bad she wants to know what I think and I just said john is the man whose opinion should matter most to her. They fought due to the text, she agreed to the counseling and the wedding has been postponed!! I may have done a dance. So they are in counseling, he said she struggles but I obviously do not know details. She is pressing for me and Sally to go to a session with her, Sally told her she did not want to hear Sally unfiltered, and I am not interested. Abbie has been leaving Sally alone, she stopped texting me except for the occasional general question which include some attempt to go deeper. My wife still occasionally spends time with her because she is very into her pregnancy, more so than I like but it is my wife's call. So that is where we are, sorry it was so long but alcohol makes for a poor editor.   Update #3: November 20, 2024 (1.5 months later) I was told I should do updates here, people have been asking me to, and to get into what went down on father's day and at their mother's house, I have been extremely busy these last few months but am enjoying my temporary unemployment and thought of this account because of recent thanksgiving drama. I will do a an update and then will share what happened earlier. Oh, and to whomever made the joke that Abbie finally got me to dance, that made me laugh, I shared that with the family. My time has been largely caring for my wife, I tend to dote, I know. We are having a boy! We are really excited, though neither of us really had gender preference. I have raised both and both experiences were wonderful. Now we are discussing names, who we are going to honor. I thought everything had been quiet, but recently found my wife crying and found out I was wrong. Given how busy I have been with work, and my wife knowing I would be free again once we got into this month, my wife has kept this to herself. Apparently Abbie has been pushing for one thanksgiving this year. Things have been quiet with Abbie, my son said the wedding blowing up woke her up, and that therapy had been helping. But then this. My understanding is that while John has been talking less with his mother because of all that happened, Abbie did the opposite. From my wife's telling, Abbie dropped by one day with my ex wife. My wife intensely dislikes my ex wife because of lies she spread about my first marriage ending due to infidelity with her, despite their being no infidelity and the linear nature of time making it impossible for us to have slept together back then. Before anyone asks, my ex wife does not actually think there was infidelity, I would get into that, but I am sure I would sound biased. Anyway so my wife looked at our camera app, saw who it was and called my daughter; apparently the two of them were keeping things from me because I was working 18 hour days and they did not want me dealing with anything else. I wish they had not done that, but I appreciate the thought. I am really lucky to have such caring people around me. My daughter called her mom and said something that made them leave in a hurry, she will not tell me what but she smiles when I ask. I called John but he was dealing with somehard work news, so I just was there for him and left the other alone. The next day Abbie came back, alone this time. My wife saw it was her and asked her what she wanted through the door, Abbie said to apologize. My wife let her in (she is too nice) and after a nice talk Abbie asked about the whole family getting together for thanksgiving, my wife said of course, she assumed as much. A couple of days later in our group chat we were discussing details, who brings what, and Abbie asks what else is needed. I say John already committed and she asked what about my ex wife, what should she bring. In the time I have known Abbie she has never made an intentional joke that funny, so I asked what she was talking about and she mentioned the "whole family" comment, and my daughter and I both asked what made her think we counted her as family?? She actually replied "she is my family. i don't have a dad who wants me, just a mom and my mom deserves to be with family on thanksgiving" Sally replied "well we'll miss you and John then." Abbie asks how she can say that, Sally asks how she can be so stupid, John says not to call her stupid and I say that is fair but there is no real way she thought my wife thought she meant my ex wife(at this point my wife had filled me in). And then...this is so stupid...she uses my son's phone to add my ex frigging wife to the group chat. She then thanks us for the invitation and asks what she can bring! As I was typing my daughter beats me to it and asks what she thinks she is doing, she knows she is not welcome- but says it less politely. My wife types "you could not have thought she was included when I said family." Abbie responded that she was not coming as my family but as hers. Sally let her mom have it, she already is not talking to her much and said if my exwife is there then she is not. I mentioned there was never a chance ex was going to come and said I understand Abbie and John wanting to go to their mom's house so she is not alone. John typed "plans not definite, will let you know" He has since told me that he is not going to go to his mom's place but wanted to tell Abbie alone first. All I can think about is the comment about not having a dad who wants her, because it means she is still thinking about me as a dad, I believe. Just a negligent one. I mentioned that to my son and he said he noticed it to and had brought it up at therapy, because family is such a frequent topic, though I obviously do not know details. Wow I thought this would be brief but that was a lot, I will get into the crazy stories later if there are people seeing this who want me to. I do not know how posting from here works in terms of anyone seeing it, but this has been good to get out.   Mini Update: December 13, 2024 (almost one month later) I do not have time to elaborate right now but I am so excited I had to share this, Thanksgiving went so badly that my son called off the engagement itself and is now going to stay at our place while he figures out his next step! He came over Sunday night exhausted and asked if he could use the guest room and we talked for a couple of hours, I understand a bit more why he felt trapped now but he realizes if she does not see her issues then he cannot help her with them. I am taking him and his sister for a fun day on Saturday to just have some fun, he looks so tired and just needs some fun. Hopefully, while yes things are messy, he is moving in a better direction for himself. People here have been great and genuinely seemed to be rooting for him which I appreciate, so I just thought I would share the good news. Happy holidays, especially mine as he told her she was not invited!!   Update on life, sorry it is long: May 14, 2025 (five months later) Life has been busy but great, but I have a lot of requests for an update, and people here have been really great so I figured that I should. To start, my wife and I have an adorable sleeping potato. He has made us both so happy; my wife, sleepy as she may be, is the happiest I have ever seen her. I had paternity leave and then various family took over helping my wife. My kids have been great about helping, my daughter has been having fun with her brother for the first time in a while. I am not going to provide details because my wife would not appreciate that, but I will just say that my wife had a scare late in her pregnancy which led to my kids really being there for her, and they pretty much have been since. They even got in my Mother's Day celebration for her. My wife loves it; she is really feeling the love. My kids are doing great. Great news is that my daughter and her partner are engaged! They have a very specific idea of what they want to do, and I was asked to walk both of them down the aisle. That was too much for me, I am not a big crier, but I admit I contributed to the happy tears we had while all hugging. My daughter asked my son to be her best man (they are both having a best man and maid of honor) which makes me deeply happy, because I do not think he would have been her choice a year ago. They are definitely getting their relationship back to normal. My son had work issues because of federal cuts and had to change jobs but he is really happy where he is now. I used money I had saved for his wedding and bought him a getaway trip; with the job stress following the personal stress he dealt with, my kid needed time away. No Abbie, no job stress, no family (I think we are pretty great, but we spend a lot of time together and I figured he might need a week away from us too). It was not easy separating from Abbie, she and his mother made it difficult for him. My ex-wife tried seeing him through Abbie, and my son was having none of it, especially after a public tantrum at his old job (it was a public-facing position with his office info online) that really embarrassed him. She would not dare do that to Sally. Neither of my kids have anything to do with her. Abbie made a couple of dramatic attempts to get my son back, but my son was clear with her. She has been out of his life and he is visibly relaxed. He is living in a new place, close to his new job. He even mentioned putting himself out there a little while ago. A couple of months ago a young woman joined our shop, she is very personable, funny and attractive. Our work includes receptions and work socializing, so I have gotten to know her a little, she seems fun. She has mentioned dating and being single a couple of times when we have talked, so I asked my son if he would be okay to give her his number if she was interested, and he was. They have gone out a couple of times, it does not sound like a great fit, but when he was talking about how attractive she was I could see he was enjoying meeting new women again, which frankly all I really hoped for. It got him excited to go out again and got him some confidence back, so whatever happens it was successful as far as I am concerned. So, things are really good. And there is going to be a wedding! I have been helping plan it, their ideas of course. It feels like we have gotten through something together, now I am over here shepping nachas, just overflowing with joy. Our little one, eventually an upcoming wedding, and my son smiling consistently again. I really appreciate all of you wonderful people and all of your good advice and well-wishing. Life is so much easier now, babies require time but they are drama free!   She is someone else's problem!: June 17, 2025 (one month later from the previous update) This will probably be my last one of these because everything is normal and good again. My daughter's wedding is pretty well planned, it is going to be relaxed and small, 40-50 people, my daughter is so happy with the location and how it is going, it makes me so happy. Seeing her so happy, this is the best feeling and exactly what a wedding should be. Plus my daughter has really taken to my wife helping plan it, she has a good eye for design, and it has given her something to focus on that is not our little one. Her partner joined me on an overnight fishing trip recently, we got to drink and bond, she told me that she wanted me to walk her down the aisle too. I told her I already agreed to, she was checking that my yes was sincere and not just to be nice. I told her our family is better because of her joining it and that I was deeply honored that she wanted me to. We hugged and drank and talked about how wonderful my daughter is; it really is a feeling of peace to see your child with someone who is great and who respects as well as cares for them. I know they have discussed adoption eventually, they would be wonderful parents, and my son would be a great uncle. That was my smooth transition to my son. He is doing well, he is dating a woman he met at my synagogue at a singles event. She seems very sweet, she teaches in the Hebrew school and they have gone out a few times. I am just happy he seems his old self, like before Abbie. So to Abbie...she is engaged and someone else's problem! My son still has some friends in common with her and someone let him know. He did not want any details but my daughter, to no one's surprise, went online (fake account) onto social media. I came home one day to her and my wife going through her pictures and posts. They have been in love for 150 years, it is the truest love of all loves, that since the invention of the kiss there have been 5 kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure, and that they left them all behind. The guy looks like an older and balder version of my son, to the point that when my daughter showed him to me she said "look, John really let himself go." I tapped out of looking at more, but I can tell you that her pictures have several of her with the guy's father, and yes they have captions about her dad. May G-d have mercy on his soul. I feel like the guy from the beginning of It Follows, foisting her on a different father to save myself and my family, but what can I say, we did not have to outrun Abbie, just outrun a different father.   ----NEW FINAL UPDATE---- Mood Spoilers: ultimately optimistic Final Update: November 24, 2025 (a little over five months later) Probably my last one of these I have had several people ask me to post something after the wedding, and so many of you have been great so I thought I would. It was crashed! By deer, it was beautiful. It was about a month ago at a large home by a lake, driving distance to a fun city where we went to have fun the following day; it was really great. There were about 30 people not including the brides, my wife, my son and myself. We set it up the night before and it looked very nice, our Rabbi came and did the talking, and they said their own vows which were really beautiful. My daughter cried when her wife spoke, her wife cried when my daughter spoke. The part that was hardest for me was the walk down the aisle. I was asked by both my daughter and her wife (still very cool to say) to walk them both down the aisle, which was very touching and a big honor for me. I have become pretty close with my daughter-in-law; besides some things we have in common, she is smart, kind, thoughtful - look I know my daughter can and does take care of herself but it does not mean you worry less or think people are good enough to be your kid's partner, and I know I am biased but my daughter is the best, both my kids are, and it is just so nice to watch your child marry someone that looks like a great person to be her partner. I have been married to the wrong person and to the right, and I have felt the dread of watching a child start to choose someone wrong for them; to see my daughter marry someone I really believe will have her back and want the best for her was the most incredible feeling. I think they are going to be great. The three of us held hands as we walked down the aisle, they both hugged me at the front and said I love you, I may have held onto the hug an extra moment in order to collect myself. It is a moment I will cherish all my life. My son was daughter's best man; the ceremony was beautiful. The reception was a lot of fun, went from main group to smaller, and fun continued through the next day. There was a hot tub on the deck, which the few kids that were there found the coolest thing ever. No one had bathing suits obviously, but towards the end two cousins around 8 and 9 years old took their dress suits off and jumped in in their underwear, one also left his socks on which for some reason I find really, really funny. It was a great time, my daughter and her wife had a great time, I am grinning even now thinking about it. My son is doing well, he is going to be moving in a bit because of a new job. It is a bit farther than I like but it is a great opportunity that he worked hard and earned, I am proud of him. I am proud of both of them. I tried my best, but my first marriage was not good, their mother is... not easy, and I sure know I made, and make, mistakes with them. But they are both so great, such good, kind people, my daughter in her dream field and married to someone great, and my son with a better sense of himself, being resilient and strong and embarking on something big that takes some guts. My wife is great, right now she is planning mode for the holidays and seems intent on hosting everything this year. I know it means less travel. It will be fine, it will be fun. My little one is... already less little. Already? When did this happen? Anyway, to anyone reading this, happy holidays, I hope everyone gets to spend them with whomever your company of choice is. And anyone in relationships that you know are not good, learn from my son who stayed in a bad relationship too long. He was not stupid for not seeing it sooner, neither are you. He was not weak for staying as long as he did, neither are you. But he is so much happier for leaving, and you will be too. Ending a bad relationship is like the saying about planting a tree, sure you wish you did it a while ago, next best time is now. Happy holidays everyone, hug your loved ones, and if you are your only loved one, maybe hug twice as hard! Shalom all! Final Comments Commenter 1: This is your best post yet!! So Happy for your daughter & her wife, also for your son to be embracing new ventures. I bet your wife’s holiday plans will be perfect, as you’ll be together. Happy Holidays to you all OOP: We have two turkeys in the garage freezer already, it will be great for exactly the reason you said, we will be together. So much to be thankful for. Happy holidays to you Commenter 2: Congratulations! Great update! Was your ex-wife invited to the wedding or involved? OOP: My kids have both cut contact with their mother. My daughter gave her a chance to prove herself and my ex-wife... well she cannot help being herself and obliterated any last bit of the bridge that was unburnt and still standing. My daughter said something you cannot take back, did it on purpose, to sever their tie. I was worried my daughter would be upset but she has seemed nothing but relieved. Commenter 3: I remember the Saga of Abbie! 😱 😱 😱 Yeah, that about sums it up! So happy for you and your family, I hope it stays that way with some peace and harmony thrown in for good measure (because that ensures an Abbie Free life as peace and harmony seem to be some of the last things present when she is around). 🕊️ 💖. Happy December times to all! 🥳. OOP: It has been a long time since I have heard anything about her, which is great, but more importantly my son really seems to be doing great. Nothing romantic has clicked, but the mistrust is melting away and he is in a much better headspace, which is great. Plus his upcoming move and career path has him as excited as I have seen him in a long time, which makes me so happy. Have a happy whatever makes you happy!   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Not sure if this the right subreddit for this but here it goes: When I purchased this shower head filter, the product diagram showed multiple filtration layers designed to purify and soften water. However, when I opened it, I found only clusters of different colored beads inside; no distinct layers or filtration materials as shown in the diagram. Do these beads actually serve any real filtering purpose, or is this misleading advertising? It looks more like colored pellets or “M&Ms in a plastic cylinder” than an actual filter. submitted by /u/WasteKoala473 to r/WaterTreatment [link] [comments]

When I first moved to DC in 2023, I immediately noticed that my hair and skin were going through it. I blamed it on the humidity — my hair was super course, wirey, and tough, and my skin was actually becoming off putting to look at: my pores were huge, I was getting random pimples despite using a retinoid, and worst of all, everytime I shaved, my skin ended up bumpy and red for the entirety of the day. I eventually realized that something other than the weather had to be going on. DC apparently has incredibly hard weather, so I bought one of those cheap shower filters from Amazon; they aren’t as effective as water softeners, BUT it did wonders for my skin and hair. I mean literally instantly after my first shower, my skin called down. My hair got soft again, and within a week was much much less painful to touch. I was truly skeptical that a $20 shower filter could be so effective, but to this day, I swear that’s what saved my skin and hair. Though it’s anecdotal, I moved to a new place and forgot to install a filter. Over the course of a month, the same thing happened again: god awful pores, tough, wirey hair, and random acne across my face. Ordered a new filter on Saturday and today (Monday) my skin feels glowy and my hair is a little less akin to a metal grill brush. I’m a 25 year old guy, so acne is something that still happens to me, but I can’t explain the difference in the hair and pores other than something in DC’s water is icky for me… minerals, the disinfecting agent used, idk. But I wanted to share! Spend $15-20 for yourself if you’re struggling with your skin or hair and see if it makes a difference. Just wanted to share :D submitted by /u/broozi to r/washingtondc [link] [comments]

Hello, I recently purchased a home and noticed the hot water smells musty. I noticed it was just the hot water. I had a plumber out, and he said the hot water heater needs to be replaced, so we got a new water heater, but the water still smells musty. I then replaced the magnesium anode rod with a titanium anode rod, but the smells persists. I just replaced the shower head with a shower head with a filter from Afina, but the water still smells. It's just the hot water. I'm not sure about next steps. Can anyone help? I'm in North Dallas by the way. submitted by /u/Mex1cutioner to r/homeowners [link] [comments]

So I've done some preliminary research, and have landed on Rorra and Eskiin. I don't want to compromise on water pressure, but also value filtration ability and quality of design/manufacturing. I live in a home that was built in 1949 and I don't think there have been significant updates to the plumbing since. I live in a city that has is naturally fairly soft water that is low in minerals, but chloramine and other pipe-related impurities are still a concern. I would like to find something closer to 2.5 GPM and I know Afina and Rorra are the only ones out of the premium level of filtered shower heads that actually list their GPM, but the testimonials for the Eskiin water pressure make it seem like it would be close to that standard. I like Rorra because the filtration is backed by measurable improvement metrics in water quality, and Eskiin boasts many of the same features in their filters. I also recognize that Eskiin is newer to the game and that I might be falling victim to their marketing. I like that both of these options have the ability to replace both the handheld and regular shower heads, as I have both in my shower. For other background, I highlight my hair every 3-6 months and I have A LOT of hair so water pressure is important - I'm hoping a filtered shower head can help with moisture retention as my hair is dry despite using intense conditioning treatments and oils and I also deal with eczema. Has anyone compared these two side-by-side? Would be so grateful to hear any personal experience with either! TLDR; Can anyone speak to their experience with the Rorra and/or Eskiin filtered shower heads? submitted by /u/SumptuousScorpion to r/Haircare [link] [comments]

Hi all! I have this shower head set up in our house that’s been then since we moved in https://www.walmart.com/ip/Allen-Roth-Harlow-Tub-And-Shower-Faucet/3497274293 I wanted to replace it and put on the Afina filter shower head (https://afina.com/products/filtered-showerhead?variant=44434306924721) that said it’s compatible with all but the swivel ball on the old one seems to be permanently attached to the faucet but I don’t n know and don’t want to break it. And the one that’s there is too big to fit the Afina one. I’m I doing something wrong? Is there a way to still do this or do I need a plumber or to give up? Thank you so much submitted by /u/Big-Welder8939 to r/Plumbing [link] [comments]

June 16 (Reuters) - John Hamer, president of Rodgers Wade Manufacturing in Paris, Texas, makes store fixtures for big retailers like Ross Dress for Less and Ulta Beauty.He sources many of the goods from China, which until recently meant he paid 70% in tariffs on metal fixtures. The media was saying it was 30%, but that was never true," he said, referring to the tariff rate for China announced in May as part of a truce between the Trump administration and Beijing as it negotiated a broader deal.That's because Hamer's 30% tariff was stacked on top of existing tariffs, including a tariff on Chinese steel products that varies depending on the amount of steel used in a fixture. When U.S. President Donald Trump adds a new tariff the old ones don't go away. Some companies will pay far more because of a phenomenon called tariff stacking, the latest complication for U.S. importers trying to navigate Trump's on-again, off-again trade war.The reality for many U.S. businesses is that their tariff bills are often far higher than the headline number touted in trade talks. Tariff stacking applies to any country exporting to the U.S., but the most extreme cases tend to be with China, where the U.S. has accumulated a long list of sometimes hefty existing tariffs, implemented under different provisions of U.S. trade law.The latest twist is an announcement that the two sides have agreed to a 55% tariff, but that's in part only an estimate of what the average pre-existing tariffs were. Hamer isn't sure what his tariff total will be now, but he figures it couldn't get much worse.“Hopefully this will bring the (tariff) number down - and some of the clients who’ve been sitting on the sidelines will go ahead and place orders,” he said, “because it’s been all over the map.”'HERE'S THE TARIFF BILL'Hamer is searching for suppliers outside China to avoid his stacked tariffs. He’s checked Mexico and is planning a trip to India next month as part of the effort. In the meantime, he is passing through all the tariffs."The customers pay the tariff," said Hamer. "When it comes in, we say, 'Here’s the tariff bill.'"Many businesses are still hoping for a reprieve from President Donald Trump's trade war. Federal courts, including the U.S. Court of International Trade, have ruled that Trump’s imposition of tariffs exceeded his authority. A federal appeals court is considering the administration’s appeal to that ruling, and the tariffs remain in effect while that plays out, a process expected to take months.Some are counting on tariff exemptions, a popular tool used by companies during the first Trump administration to get goods imported without the taxes.Michael Weidner, president of Lalo Baby Products in Brooklyn, is one of them. “We believe there should be an exemption for baby products,” he said. “Same with toys.”The Trump administration has said it will resist creating such carve-outs. And even during the last trade war, it was a complex process. For instance, Lalo imports a “play table” from China that happens to be classified under a customs category that was subject to a 25% tariff under a part of trade law that aims to fight unfair trade practices. So Weidner has been paying 55% tariffs on those, thanks to stacking.Trump campaigned on a vow to use tariffs to pull manufacturing back to U.S. shores and collect revenue to help fund a major tax cut. His battle with China quickly spiraled into a conflagration with the U.S. imposing a 145% across-the-board tariff that shut down much of the trade between the world’s two largest economies.The agreement to curb the tariffs is part of a larger effort to negotiate individual deals with most of the U.S.’s trading partners. PASSING COSTS THROUGH On Wednesday, a White House official said the 55% figure represents a sum of a baseline 10% “reciprocal” tariff Trump has imposed on goods from nearly all U.S. trading partners; 20% on all Chinese imports because of punitive measures Trump has imposed on China, Mexico and Canada associated with his accusation that the three facilitate the flow of the opioid fentanyl into the U.S.; and finally pre-existing 25% levies on imports from China that were put in place during Trump’s first term.“It sounds like that’s the way he’s thinking of the baseline - 55% - at least for some products," said Greta Peisch, a trade lawyer at Wiley Rein in Washington.Ramon van Meer’s business selling filtered shower heads from China may yet survive the trade war, though he's not certain.That depends entirely on whether he can can manage the multiple tariffs placed on his $159 shower heads, which became a viral sensation on Instagram. When the Trump administration trimmed tariffs on China to 30% in May, van Meer's tariff bill was actually 43%. That's because the 30% tariff was stacked on top of an existing 13% tariff.It's an improvement over the 145% tariffs slapped on Chinese imports in April, when he halted shipments entirely.“At least I can afford to pay it,” said van Meer, chief executive of Afina, based in Austin, Texas, referring to his latest calculations. "And I don't have to raise the price by that much." submitted by /u/Professional-Kale216 to r/Tariffs [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/GreatestThrow-man Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: 1, 2. 3, 4 [New Update]: AITA for not wanting to walk her down the aisle or lie in a speech? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Editor’s note: added paragraph breaks for readability and removed older relevant comments for more spaces in this latest BoRU Trigger Warnings: manipulation, mild ableism, obsessive behavior, accusations of infidelity, mentions physical violence Mood Spoilers: happy RECAP Original Post: May 10, 2024 I (41M) have two kids with my ex wife, (42F) a son John(22) and daughter Sally (20), I'm remarried to my wife (28). I'm very close with my kids, my son is engaged to Abbie, she seems nice but has been a bit pushy trying to create relationships with me and my wife, though she's also awkward with her. Abbie isn't close to her family, she told us many stories why and while some of her complaints don't seem awful, it's not my place to judge and I didn't live it so I can't know anyway. We've tried to be welcoming but Abbie has forced her way into some family traditions where she wouldn't have been invited, and some where no one outside of specific family would have. She has been calling Sally "sis" since they were only dating a few months, has an odd sister/mother-in-law thing she does with my wife, and the one I'm not a fan of, wants me to be like father to her. Not because we've clicked or anything. We are very different people, not saying that in a bad way, just saying it's not based on how we get along or anything. My kids and I have a tradition when they come over that we have a private catch-up in my office/study before they leave, which is now even more important to them because while they both get along well with my wife they don't want to have personal conversations around her yet. Abbie asked if we could talk, and after I explained the tradition John later asked that I do it, saying she'd never had a caring conversation with her dad. We compromised that I didn't include her in the tradition but do join the two of them for coffee and let her talk. Then she started calling me dad, they werent even engaged yet, John pulled me aside and begged me to give her that, laid this whole thing on me about me always being the dad she always wanted right in front of her and she just wanted that, told me she cried watching me and Sally together (she still gives me random hugs, I'm a lucky dad). I didn't like it but I do feel bad so fine I gave her that. She wants me to walk her down the aisle and the father/daughter dance. I don't want to walk her down, and I walk with a cane so dancing is hard. At my own wedding I only danced twice. John is begging for me to do one, preferably the aisle. They came over Sunday, John and I were talking, I thought to address it, when Ab walked in without knocking, asking if he'd told me yet. I asked what, John said she wanted me to say something about having a second daughter now in my speech and how I loved her. I just looked at him. She asked if I'd do the walk and dance for Sally, I said of course. She yelled she's my daughter too and I said it will never be the same, Sally is my actual daughter. I tried to explain I'd talk about her being a happy addition to the family and I love how happy she makes Jack, which i thought was a good compromise, but she started crying. John apologized and they left, but he called me when they were home nearly begging me to. AITA because I won't lie and say I love her or she's my daughter. Original Post Verdict: Not the Asshole   Update #1: June 26, 2024 (1.5 months later) I had planned on writing this sooner but life got in the way in a couple of really good ways, but people were helpful and asked for updates, and I have a surprise free day, so here it goes: Mother's Day my kids and their partners go to visit my ex wife. So it turns out my ex wife and Abbie are a lot closer than I realized. She calls her mom, which is part of where this comes from. Also apparently my ex has been egging it on. On mother's day they were talking about the wedding and I guess whenever Abbie referred to me it was as dad. My son apparently told her let it go, which led to yelling. Abbie about deserving to be my daughter, ex telling her that she's right, son telling her that I am trying and she should be realistic about things, Sally telling her I only had one daughter - which was apparently a response to Abbie saying to her that as my "daughters" they should be united. according to my son Abbi was crying, according to Sally she was crying ang yelling and kicked something before going to her room, and Sally told me she went off on her mom, but will not elaborate so I don't know what was actually said. But knowing Sally - whoo boy. Around 2am I got a text from Sally's partner's phone saying "Abbie really is great, she hasn't been perfect but you should give her a chance and you will learn to love her." I saw it when I woke up I tried to text her back but was blocked, so I called Sally but they were driving. They stopped by my place later that day because I am on the way and my daughter prefers my liquor and cooking and they told me about the night before. At the end I asked to speak to her partner alone, I asked if I had done something to upset her. She was confused and I told her I was blocked. She said I wasn't but checked her phone and I was, and I said it was after her message and she asked what message. I showed her, it was not on her phone anymore. At that point we brought in Sally and caught her up, neither of them were happy. A couple of days later John and Abbie dropped by unannounced; not something we really do in this family but ok fine, I had mad salmon, does not take long to cook. I cook 2 more, wife serves while I make drinks. The entire night was Abbie trying to bring up the wedding, John trying to change the subject, Abbie not allowing that. We talk logistics because I am helping them get some good deals through some professional contacts I have when finally she just says "so I was talking to mom, she said that you can walk me down the aisle and she'll do the dance, or you can dance and she'll walk, it's your call but you need to choose soon." I reiterated that I could not dance (she tried arguing that I had danced a little at my wedding but I made it clear that is different) and did not feel comfortable walking her. She got upset and said "mom loves me why can't you?" I felt bad but couldn't lie, I pointed out that she had John who loved her, my exwife, friends, she had people who love her. She said "but other than (ex-wife) those aren't my parents" I said "neither am I." She was very emotional so my wife and I gave them a few minutes. My son and I were alone later, he looked exhausted. He said the problem was that after Mother's day Abbie had called Sally and kept saying they are both my daughters, that I did not get to be close with one but not both, and that it was them against me - but at that one Sally cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war. Things were said. Grievances were aired. John had to hang up before it got worse, but I guess Abbie was shaken but there was a new problem; Abbie had decided in her head that I did not mean what I have been saying and was just doing it for Sally. He told me he would handle it. Ron Howard: He did not So now I get text messages from Abbie every couple of days acting like we have a secret relationship Sally doesn't know about, she even called herself my secret daughter and lol'ed. She invited my wife to lunch saying "2 out of 3 of his girl's" going out. She has even started using the pressure of showing up at events like a recent barbecue to play a certain image. She hugs me more and holds it, wants to do pictures with just me or my wife and I but always a few with just me to post with captions I do not like. My wife is getting especially annoyed because of how she is with her (I guess Abbie surprised her with father's day plans for me that had to be shut down, as it is she still inserted herself into the day) but she has a soft spot for her and when Abbie gets emotional she caves; my wife is a sweetheart. I asked him if he is upset with me and he said no, he just wished it was different. He said we're good, but he's worried he and Sally aren't, which is when I took the advice of some people and suggested pre marital counseling, he said he would talk about it. Abbie is insisting Sally go to her fitting. That shop should pay-per-view that potential royal rumble because Sally is not holding her feelings back anymore. I told him Sally loves him and I'll talk to her, but for now it is stressful all around. Abbie driving my wife crazy with her ideas for what my "girls" should be doing, driving me crazy with dad-daughter content, drove sally to the edge, and oh yeah, last night sent me an email with 3 styles of father-daughter dances and song options, so i'm not feeling any more respected or heard than before. The six of us have barely been in the same room in order to let things calm down since father's day, which was great until it was a shit show. Sorry this is so long, with all the craziness this is still the abridged version. We are supposed to meet Friday, Sally's partner and I have a bet going about how bad it will go. So onward and upward, I hope you fathers had a less dramatic day than I did, and by any chance does anyone know exactly how bad of a crime I need to commit to enter witness protection? Just curious   Update #2: October 2, 2024 (3.5 months later) I have gotten requests for updates on my situation, and as I enjoy a refreshing mojito and my wife her nojito, life feels good and the perfect time to amuse the world with my pain and familial drama! Plus a cousin of mine who apparently reads these and knows my situation gave me the convincing argument of "dude, you can't keep people hanging" and how can I argue with that airtight argument. I apologize for how long this is, a lot has happened. My wife's pregnancy is going well, keeping her as stress-free and pampered as possible has been my focus. It is such a different experience this time, both because of how much more involved I can be and how much better a relationship I have with my wife than I had with my ex. My daughter Sally has been great, even her partner has been great, helping with the nursery or driving her around when I can't. My wife doesn't know because it is a surprise, but my son has been building a crib for the baby, modeled after the one I built for him and his sister, to show my wife his support. My son is a good man, and he is still in there, he just has a soft spot for Abbie. Which I guess gets us to the part of the movie where Godzilla shows up and starts busting up buildings... So I called a family meeting with my kids to talk about the situation. Told John his sister was only doing wedding activities she wanted to and that the guilting requests needed to stop, that this was hurting his relationship with his sister. Sally was happy I said it so she did not have to yet again. I told him if he did not stop her from messaging me I would block her with a bluntly honest explanation why. We got a lot out, John seemed to understand but then a few days later they insisted on coming to talk. Sally and I decided we would get everything out. So all of us ate at our place, Abbie started in immediately about baby shower stuff and I told that is the kind of thing we wanted to talk about. I told her that I understood she has been trying to fill a hole that she has, that she thought she was getting a father, a second mother (she calls my ex-wife mom apparently) and a sister. I told her it was still possible but that she needed to start listening to us. I told her that for the sake of family we would give her a fresh start, if she agreed that moving forward she would respect our boundaries. My daughter did not love this idea but loves her brother and was willing to try. Abbie tried to say that since we were starting over we could define what the relationship would be and just be family, we told her we were not ready for that, that it needs to happen organically. She got mad that I am closer with my daughter's partner, which is true but we just get along, and that she deserved it for trying so hard. My daughter said something about trying things we actually want. She ran to our bathroom, he ran after her. After a while I checked on him, I could hear her repeating "this is not what I wanted." My wife, daughter, and her partner went out to the patio to give them privacy and salvage the night, after a bit I got a text saying they had just left. I checked in with him the next day and he said they talked more at home and she understood. For a couple of weeks things were good. The texts stopped except the occasional wedding question, since it was getting closer. She stopped pushing herself on my wife and Sally, and we thought was involving us in less in wedding planning out of respect, since as it was they only got the venue at the rate they did because of my professional connections and they know I was willing to help but not interested in helping plan, even if I am good at event-planning. But then I got a call from the venue telling me the card I used had been declined. Now this is a specific card I use for big purchases because of the miles so I knew it had a high limit. That was how I learned that they had changed dates by two months despite being informed I would still be out much of the money because it was too close to the date. I was furious, I mean I have been lucky in life financially but I am not blow-off deposits like nothing wealthy. Called my son, said he needed to get his ass to the house, just him. They both came. When they arrived I opened the door, she actually started with, "Dad!" I think I just replied "you have got to be f'n kidding me" and walked toward the table. Abbie had the nerve to ask where dinner was, my response was not polite as I made it clear that was not why they were here. I hoped my son would not lie to me so I asked what was going on with the venue. She started going into wedding details but my son interrupted to tell me they postponed because my ex-wife was unavailable because of a surgery and he had not told me because he was putting money together to pay the lost money himself, and he had just reached out to guests to let them know. And that is when Abbie's mouth opened..."we have extra time to work on our dance..." Now during this time my wife came home, and i was walking her toward the bedroom when Abbie said that. My pregnant wife with me I said, calmly, "I have different feelings about that and will elaborate further shortly" or something like that. Then I laid my wife down and got her water, turned on her symphonic covers of popular songs and walked back to the table and said something like "You are out of your f'n mind have you even been listening?!" I made it clear I was done with this nonsense, we all were, and kind of lost it asking she did not hear us last time because her head was up her ass. She was stunned silent (what a beautiful sound) and looked at me while I, admittedly with little filter, explained what Sally and I thought of our time with her and her attempts to force us to love her without even getting to know us. She started crying and stood up and shouted "then what was this even for?!" John asked what she meant, if she meant them and he started to freak out. She was frantic and said she meant delaying the wedding. Because, and I'm pouring another drink to write this, it was a ploy! My ex-wife and her decided if I HAD MORE TIME I would come around. Apparently my ex told her not to worry about the money because "I am loaded." She has always been bitter I make so much more than I did when we were married, as if that is out of spite rather than my career arc. I think she did that on purpose, frankly. But she not only told me that lie, she and my ex told John as well. He was distraught. Repeating "you lied to me" as she tried to spin it but he was letting it out about how much he has defended her and covered for her and she lied to him too. She was defensive and blamed my ex for telling her things and me for being stubborn, she yelled "why can't I just f'n call him dad" and, finally, after so long, I heard John respond "because he is not your f'n dad!" She started crying and something about his being the one that told she could call me that and he said he told her she might be able to eventually but he had told her again and again to slow down. She started sobbing and went to sit on her chair but missed and fell on the floor. Appreciating physical humor to break the tension I admittedly chuckled and hid my mouth behind my drink, this all led to a lot of sobbing. I said I needed to check on my wife and as I walked out she was repeating "I just want him to be my dad too." I came out and he was walking her to the door and apologized, I said not too, they left. He came over a few days later and said they had a long talk at home, he even asked her if she would have dated him if there was never a chance of being in the family. He believed her when she said yes but she admitted I was a big draw as well. I was the kind of dad she always wanted, my relationship with Sally is what she always wanted, and the way she said it gave John doubts that she loves him for him. I talked about marriage counseling, how his mother and I tried it and, while it did not save us, it provided clarity and an impartial voice. I pointed out they both like coming to me, but I cannot be impartial and if they are trying then they need to do it for real. Abbie texted asking if I was the one who suggested therapy, I responded with "does it matter if John wants to?" She asked why it is so bad she wants to know what I think and I just said john is the man whose opinion should matter most to her. They fought due to the text, she agreed to the counseling and the wedding has been postponed!! I may have done a dance. So they are in counseling, he said she struggles but I obviously do not know details. She is pressing for me and Sally to go to a session with her, Sally told her she did not want to hear Sally unfiltered, and I am not interested. Abbie has been leaving Sally alone, she stopped texting me except for the occasional general question which include some attempt to go deeper. My wife still occasionally spends time with her because she is very into her pregnancy, more so than I like but it is my wife's call. So that is where we are, sorry it was so long but alcohol makes for a poor editor.   Update #3: November 20, 2024 (1.5 months later) I was told I should do updates here, people have been asking me to, and to get into what went down on father's day and at their mother's house, I have been extremely busy these last few months but am enjoying my temporary unemployment and thought of this account because of recent thanksgiving drama. I will do a an update and then will share what happened earlier. Oh, and to whomever made the joke that Abbie finally got me to dance, that made me laugh, I shared that with the family. My time has been largely caring for my wife, I tend to dote, I know. We are having a boy! We are really excited, though neither of us really had gender preference. I have raised both and both experiences were wonderful. Now we are discussing names, who we are going to honor. I thought everything had been quiet, but recently found my wife crying and found out I was wrong. Given how busy I have been with work, and my wife knowing I would be free again once we got into this month, my wife has kept this to herself. Apparently Abbie has been pushing for one thanksgiving this year. Things have been quiet with Abbie, my son said the wedding blowing up woke her up, and that therapy had been helping. But then this. My understanding is that while John has been talking less with his mother because of all that happened, Abbie did the opposite. From my wife's telling, Abbie dropped by one day with my ex wife. My wife intensely dislikes my ex wife because of lies she spread about my first marriage ending due to infidelity with her, despite their being no infidelity and the linear nature of time making it impossible for us to have slept together back then. Before anyone asks, my ex wife does not actually think there was infidelity, I would get into that, but I am sure I would sound biased. Anyway so my wife looked at our camera app, saw who it was and called my daughter; apparently the two of them were keeping things from me because I was working 18 hour days and they did not want me dealing with anything else. I wish they had not done that, but I appreciate the thought. I am really lucky to have such caring people around me. My daughter called her mom and said something that made them leave in a hurry, she will not tell me what but she smiles when I ask. I called John but he was dealing with somehard work news, so I just was there for him and left the other alone. The next day Abbie came back, alone this time. My wife saw it was her and asked her what she wanted through the door, Abbie said to apologize. My wife let her in (she is too nice) and after a nice talk Abbie asked about the whole family getting together for thanksgiving, my wife said of course, she assumed as much. A couple of days later in our groupchat we were discussing details, who brings what, and Abbie asks what else is needed. I say John already committed and she asked what about my ex wife, what should she bring. In the time I have known Abbie she has never made an intentional joke that funny, so I asked what she was talking about and she mentioned the "whole family" comment, and my daughter and I both asked what made her think we counted her as family?? She actually replied "she is my family. i don't have a dad who wants me, just a mom and my mom deserves to be with family on thanksgiving" Sally replied "well we'll miss you and John then." Abbie asks how she can say that, Sally asks how she can be so stupid, John says not to call her stupid and I say that is fair but there is no real way she thought my wife thought she meant my ex wife(at this point my wife had filled me in). And then...this is so stupid...she uses my son's phone to add my ex frigging wife to the group chat. She then thanks us for the invitation and asks what she can bring! As I was typing my daughter beats me to it and asks what she thinks she is doing, she knows she is not welcome- but says it less politely. My wife types "you could not have thought she was included when I said family." Abbie responded that she was not coming as my family but as hers. Sally let her mom have it, she already is not talking to her much and said if my exwife is there then she is not. I mentioned there was never a chance ex was going to come and said I understand Abbie and John wanting to go to their mom's house so she is not alone. John typed "plans not definite, will let you know" He has since told me that he is not going to go to his mom's place but wanted to tell Abbie alone first. All I can think about is the comment about not having a dad who wants her, because it means she is still thinking about me as a dad, I believe. Just a negligent one. I mentioned that to my son and he said he noticed it to and had brought it up at therapy, because family is such a frequent topic, though I obviously do not know details. Wow I thought this would be brief but that was a lot, I will get into the crazy stories later if there are people seeing this who want me to. I do not know how posting from here works in terms of anyone seeing it, but this has been good to get out.   Mini Update - I may have my boy back!: December 13, 2024 (almost one month later) I do not have time to elaborate right now but I am so excited I had to share this, Thanksgiving went so badly that my son called off the engagement itself and is now going to stay at our place while he figures out his next step! He came over Sunday night exhausted and asked if he could use the guest room and we talked for a couple of hours, I understand a bit more why he felt trapped now but he realizes if she does not see her issues then he cannot help her with them. I am taking him and his sister for a fun day on Saturday to just have some fun, he looks so tired and just needs some fun. Hopefully, while yes things are messy, he is moving in a better direction for himself. People here have been great and genuinely seemed to be rooting for him which I appreciate, so I just thought I would share the good news. Happy holidays, especially mine as he told her she was not invited!! Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I'm so glad you have your son back! But she's so delusional it may get worse before it gets better. OOP: I agree she will not be easy to disentangle from, I doubt she will let it be easy. We already have cameras outside in multiple spots, and Abbie does not have a key. I feel like we got my son back and Abbie got my ex-wife, I will take that deal in a heartbeat! Commenter 2: I mean, I'm a long-time mental health professional, so I've seen some shit, thus I'm immediately picturing, upon your son officially ending it for good, her having a full on psychotic break and regressing into a child, throwing a full blown, kicking and screaming on the ground, shamelessly snotty and drooling no-fucks-given ugly-crying, DEFCON TODDLER level tantrum on the spot, screaming desperately for "her" Daddy, and raging at your son - not because he doesn't love her, or because he rejected her romantically, or any reason we would find realistic in our plane of what we consider "logic" - but rather accusing your son of taking "her" Daddy away and trying to keep HER AND YOU from being the family you were always meant to be. Honestly, this type of crazy is so familiar to me, I could practically write the speech myself 🙃. BUT! This is NOT meant to be a prediction. This is just a worst-case-scenario type possibility, which is OBVIOUSLY what popped into my head, because, a.) Far too many years of personal experience in a professional capacity with "worst-case-scenarios" like this and even MORE crazy... and 2.) redditlol. OOP: He told me all about their conversation and how it confirmed to him he was making the right choice. It sounds like you are right about shouting and throwing things and said he was taking away her chance to have a family. There was a lot more, some I know, a lot I do not, but well done with your highly-educated guess, I cannot imagine the stories that you must have. OOP on how Thanksgiving turned out so badly OOP: It was pretty bad, Abbie showed up with my ex wife despite the fact there was never a chance that woman would be allowed in my house. It got ugly from there and my son really let them both have it. He is done with his mom, both of my kids are, which after years of seething about lies she told about me but needing to hold it in around them, it is all out there now. Commenter 3: Omg I have been waiting for your update, I hope your family and wife are all well. I'm sorry to hear about your son and I hope he heals, but he has done the right thing, he will find an amazing woman. I no its probably not going to happen but I hope the drama settles and I shall away your update with the dets OOP: That is why I came to post, some people have been really great on here and seem to be genuinely concerned, which I did not expect but felt meant I should catch people up. He is seeming like his old self, best gift for the holidays I could have asked for you know, but I know this will be a process for him. We will be here for him. Commenter 4: His lucky to have such a great dad, you have been so smooth and chill through all of this, sounds like he has the support he needs to get thorugh this, I hope life gets better for him and you guys too OOP: Thank you, there were many times I wanted to be more assertive, but I worried that since he loves her and they were living together, which meant she could be in his ear constantly, that if I pushed it would either push him away or cause him to push back. It has been bad but while I know he has not given up on the relationship completely, he now knows she needs to show him she is working on herself or he is done. He moved a lot of clothes here, and when she messaged last week he asked her if she had been following through on something, and when she said no he was furious. He told me that he does not trust her and I asked him if there is can even be the foundation for a relationship without total trust and he said no. I think he is getting there!   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update on life, sorry it is long: May 14, 2025 (five months later) Life has been busy but great, but I have a lot of requests for an update, and people here have been really great so I figured that I should. To start, my wife and I have an adorable sleeping potato. He has made us both so happy; my wife, sleepy as she may be, is the happiest I have ever seen her. I had paternity leave and then various family took over helping my wife. My kids have been great about helping, my daughter has been having fun with her brother for the first time in a while. I am not going to provide details because my wife would not appreciate that, but I will just say that my wife had a scare late in her pregnancy which led to my kids really being there for her, and they pretty much have been since. They even got in my Mother's Day celebration for her. My wife loves it; she is really feeling the love. My kids are doing great. Great news is that my daughter and her partner are engaged! They have a very specific idea of what they want to do, and I was asked to walk both of them down the aisle. That was too much for me, I am not a big crier, but I admit I contributed to the happy tears we had while all hugging. My daughter asked my son to be her best man (they are both having a best man and maid of honor) which makes me deeply happy, because I do not think he would have been her choice a year ago. They are definitely getting their relationship back to normal. My son had work issues because of federal cuts and had to change jobs but he is really happy where he is now. I used money I had saved for his wedding and bought him a getaway trip; with the job stress following the personal stress he dealt with, my kid needed time away. No Abbie, no job stress, no family (I think we are pretty great, but we spend a lot of time together and I figured he might need a week away from us too). It was not easy separating from Abbie, she and his mother made it difficult for him. My ex-wife tried seeing him through Abbie, and my son was having none of it, especially after a public tantrum at his old job (it was a public-facing position with his office info online) that really embarrassed him. She would not dare do that to Sally. Neither of my kids have anything to do with her. Abbie made a couple of dramatic attempts to get my son back, but my son was clear with her. She has been out of his life and he is visibly relaxed. He is living in a new place, close to his new job. He even mentioned putting himself out there a little while ago. A couple of months ago a young woman joined our shop, she is very personable, funny and attractive. Our work includes receptions and work socializing, so I have gotten to know her a little, she seems fun. She has mentioned dating and being single a couple of times when we have talked, so I asked my son if he would be okay to give her his number if she was interested, and he was. They have gone out a couple of times, it does not sound like a great fit, but when he was talking about how attractive she was I could see he was enjoying meeting new women again, which frankly all I really hoped for. It got him excited to go out again and got him some confidence back, so whatever happens it was successful as far as I am concerned. So, things are really good. And there is going to be a wedding! I have been helping plan it, their ideas of course. It feels like we have gotten through something together, now I am over here shepping nachas, just overflowing with joy. Our little one, eventually an upcoming wedding, and my son smiling consistently again. I really appreciate all of you wonderful people and all of your good advice and well-wishing. Life is so much easier now, babies require time but they are drama free! Additional Information from OOP after a comment request regarding Thanksgiving in an older post OOP: For Thanksgiving it was my wife and I, Sally and her partner, a couple of friends of my kids who do not have much family and were basically adopted when they were all teens, and John. He just wanted quiet and thought Abbie and his mother were eating with her group. About an hour into it the doorbell started ringing emphatically. I looked through the peephole, my ex wife and Abbie were standing there, Abbie had a half pan of macaroni and cheese and my ex-wife, for some reason, had a bag from fast food, but was holding it like it was her contribution. I called for my son and told him to deal with them, he opened the door and his momsaid hello so pleasantly and tried to walk past him but he stopped her. Abbie said the entire family needed to be together and my son just told her to stop it, and asked for a minute with them, so I went inside and told everyone, rightly worried about how Sally would react. She got up and marched toward the door, opened it and just unloaded. Her partner was right behind her, but was pulling up video on her phone. It was something like "what the hell is wrong with you crazy manipulative..." and just...years worth of held in anger was projectile vomited over my ex-wife and Abbie, and then ex-wife again. My ex-wife got so mad she yelled "SHUT UP" grabbed the pyrex that the mac n cheese was in and threw it down, I assume it expecting it to shatter. It just...THUD...and was intact though cracked it looked like. Everyone was silent and she just picked it up, I admit I laughed at that so I stepped in. My laughing started to set my ex-wife off but my son jumped in, not yelling, but firm. He told her did not know if he wanted anything to do with her anymore but if she did not backoff the answer was no for sure. He looked at Abbie and asked her why she keeps doing this, how it has not gotten through her head. With that he said, "what is wrong with you, I really am asking?" He pointed out what he said to her vs what she kept doing, she started sobbing, turned at slapped my ex-wife and ran to their car and drove away, stranding my ex-wife who had the fucking nerve to chuckle, say "That was an overreaction" and ask my son for a ride home. My kids told her she could not even use their lyft apps. She kept arguing about coming inside, I pointed out it was a safe neighborhhod with a park nearby she could wait at. I know it was petty, but I said "hold on, I do want to help" so I went to the kitchen, got a spoon and went back, and stuck in in the macaroni and cheese and told her that way she could eat while she ate. My kids laughed so I sent them in so it would not escalate even more and I stepped outside and shut the door behind me, and made it very clear that she was not to come back and said some other select words. She was clearly about to yell so I pointed out it was a quiet neighborhood and that would likely get the police called. She stomped away and I have not seen her since. OOP shares his thanks to the redditors OOP: People like yourself who were very helpful are why I decided to catch everyone up on everything, I genuinely appreciate the kindness throughout this insanity. We are getting far enough from it that I am starting to think of it like a stress test on the family, and through it all we were there for each other and got through together. It may not have been worth all of the stress, but like Monty Python said, "Always look on the bright side of life..."   Latest Update here: BoRU #6   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I’ve been using Atojet filtered shower head for about seven months now, and I wanted to share my experience after seeing Jennie from BlackPink using the same one on TikTok. Last year, when I visited my cousin in Korea, she told me how every household now uses a filtered shower head to remove heavy metals and minerals from the water. At the time, I wasn’t super interested in getting one, but a few months later, I decided to give it a try and ordered it from the official US website. I live in a state with hard water, and I’ve definitely noticed a difference! The filter helps to soften my hair and removes impurities, although it doesn’t get rid of chlorine. I do need to change the filter every three months, but since I live in an area with hard water, I’ve been changing it every two months. It was pretty easy to install and way cheaper than installing water softening system. submitted by /u/imaselb23 to r/AsianBeauty [link] [comments]

I’m sorry but I found this so funny, these ads for shower filters keep coming on my tiktok fyp and them using Brady’s picture killed me🤣🤣🤣 submitted by /u/Aalu15 to r/addie_bradysnark [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/GreatestThrow-man Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: 1, 2, 3 [New Update]: AITA for not wanting to walk her down the aisle or lie in a speech? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Editor’s note: added paragraph breaks for readability and removed older relevant comments for more spaces in this latest BoRU Trigger Warnings: manipulation, mild ableism, obsessive behavior, accusations of infidelity, mentions physical violence RECAP Original Post: May 10, 2024 I (41M) have two kids with my ex wife, (42F) a son John(22) and daughter Sally (20), I'm remarried to my wife (28). I'm very close with my kids, my son is engaged to Abbie, she seems nice but has been a bit pushy trying to create relationships with me and my wife, though she's also awkward with her. Abbie isn't close to her family, she told us many stories why and while some of her complaints don't seem awful, it's not my place to judge and I didn't live it so I can't know anyway. We've tried to be welcoming but Abbie has forced her way into some family traditions where she wouldn't have been invited, and some where no one outside of specific family would have. She has been calling Sally "sis" since they were only dating a few months, has an odd sister/mother-in-law thing she does with my wife, and the one I'm not a fan of, wants me to be like father to her. Not because we've clicked or anything. We are very different people, not saying that in a bad way, just saying it's not based on how we get along or anything. My kids and I have a tradition when they come over that we have a private catch-up in my office/study before they leave, which is now even more important to them because while they both get along well with my wife they don't want to have personal conversations around her yet. Abbie asked if we could talk, and after I explained the tradition John later asked that I do it, saying she'd never had a caring conversation with her dad. We compromised that I didn't include her in the tradition but do join the two of them for coffee and let her talk. Then she started calling me dad, they werent even engaged yet, John pulled me aside and begged me to give her that, laid this whole thing on me about me always being the dad she always wanted right in front of her and she just wanted that, told me she cried watching me and Sally together (she still gives me random hugs, I'm a lucky dad). I didn't like it but I do feel bad so fine I gave her that. She wants me to walk her down the aisle and the father/daughter dance. I don't want to walk her down, and I walk with a cane so dancing is hard. At my own wedding I only danced twice. John is begging for me to do one, preferably the aisle. They came over Sunday, John and I were talking, I thought to address it, when Ab walked in without knocking, asking if he'd told me yet. I asked what, John said she wanted me to say something about having a second daughter now in my speech and how I loved her. I just looked at him. She asked if I'd do the walk and dance for Sally, I said of course. She yelled she's my daughter too and I said it will never be the same, Sally is my actual daughter. I tried to explain I'd talk about her being a happy addition to the family and I love how happy she makes Jack, which i thought was a good compromise, but she started crying. John apologized and they left, but he called me when they were home nearly begging me to. AITA because I won't lie and say I love her or she's my daughter. Verdict: Not the Asshole   Update #1: June 26, 2024 (1.5 months later) I had planned on writing this sooner but life got in the way in a couple of really good ways, but people were helpful and asked for updates, and I have a surprise free day, so here it goes: Mother's Day my kids and their partners go to visit my ex wife. So it turns out my ex wife and Abbie are a lot closer than I realized. She calls her mom, which is part of where this comes from. Also apparently my ex has been egging it on. On mother's day they were talking about the wedding and I guess whenever Abbie referred to me it was as dad. My son apparently told her let it go, which led to yelling. Abbie about deserving to be my daughter, ex telling her that she's right, son telling her that I am trying and she should be realistic about things, Sally telling her I only had one daughter - which was apparently a response to Abbie saying to her that as my "daughters" they should be united. according to my son Abbi was crying, according to Sally she was crying ang yelling and kicked something before going to her room, and Sally told me she went off on her mom, but will not elaborate so I don't know what was actually said. But knowing Sally - whoo boy. Around 2am I got a text from Sally's partner's phone saying "Abbie really is great, she hasn't been perfect but you should give her a chance and you will learn to love her." I saw it when I woke up I tried to text her back but was blocked, so I called Sally but they were driving. They stopped by my place later that day because I am on the way and my daughter prefers my liquor and cooking and they told me about the night before. At the end I asked to speak to her partner alone, I asked if I had done something to upset her. She was confused and I told her I was blocked. She said I wasn't but checked her phone and I was, and I said it was after her message and she asked what message. I showed her, it was not on her phone anymore. At that point we brought in Sally and caught her up, neither of them were happy. A couple of days later John and Abbie dropped by unannounced; not something we really do in this family but ok fine, I had mad salmon, does not take long to cook. I cook 2 more, wife serves while I make drinks. The entire night was Abbie trying to bring up the wedding, John trying to change the subject, Abbie not allowing that. We talk logistics because I am helping them get some good deals through some professional contacts I have when finally she just says "so I was talking to mom, she said that you can walk me down the aisle and she'll do the dance, or you can dance and she'll walk, it's your call but you need to choose soon." I reiterated that I could not dance (she tried arguing that I had danced a little at my wedding but I made it clear that is different) and did not feel comfortable walking her. She got upset and said "mom loves me why can't you?" I felt bad but couldn't lie, I pointed out that she had John who loved her, my exwife, friends, she had people who love her. She said "but other than (ex-wife) those aren't my parents" I said "neither am I." She was very emotional so my wife and I gave them a few minutes. My son and I were alone later, he looked exhausted. He said the problem was that after Mother's day Abbie had called Sally and kept saying they are both my daughters, that I did not get to be close with one but not both, and that it was them against me - but at that one Sally cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war. Things were said. Grievances were aired. John had to hang up before it got worse, but I guess Abbie was shaken but there was a new problem; Abbie had decided in her head that I did not mean what I have been saying and was just doing it for Sally. He told me he would handle it. Ron Howard: He did not So now I get text messages from Abbie every couple of days acting like we have a secret relationship Sally doesn't know about, she even called herself my secret daughter and lol'ed. She invited my wife to lunch saying "2 out of 3 of his girl's" going out. She has even started using the pressure of showing up at events like a recent barbecue to play a certain image. She hugs me more and holds it, wants to do pictures with just me or my wife and I but always a few with just me to post with captions I do not like. My wife is getting especially annoyed because of how she is with her (I guess Abbie surprised her with father's day plans for me that had to be shut down, as it is she still inserted herself into the day) but she has a soft spot for her and when Abbie gets emotional she caves; my wife is a sweetheart. I asked him if he is upset with me and he said no, he just wished it was different. He said we're good, but he's worried he and Sally aren't, which is when I took the advice of some people and suggested pre marital counseling, he said he would talk about it. Abbie is insisting Sally go to her fitting. That shop should pay-per-view that potential royal rumble because Sally is not holding her feelings back anymore. I told him Sally loves him and I'll talk to her, but for now it is stressful all around. Abbie driving my wife crazy with her ideas for what my "girls" should be doing, driving me crazy with dad-daughter content, drove sally to the edge, and oh yeah, last night sent me an email with 3 styles of father-daughter dances and song options, so i'm not feeling any more respected or heard than before. The six of us have barely been in the same room in order to let things calm down since father's day, which was great until it was a shit show. Sorry this is so long, with all the craziness this is still the abridged version. We are supposed to meet Friday, Sally's partner and I have a bet going about how bad it will go. So onward and upward, I hope you fathers had a less dramatic day than I did, and by any chance does anyone know exactly how bad of a crime I need to commit to enter witness protection? Just curious   Update #2: October 2, 2024 (3.5 months later) I have gotten requests for updates on my situation, and as I enjoy a refreshing mojito and my wife her nojito, life feels good and the perfect time to amuse the world with my pain and familial drama! Plus a cousin of mine who apparently reads these and knows my situation gave me the convincing argument of "dude, you can't keep people hanging" and how can I argue with that airtight argument. I apologize for how long this is, a lot has happened. My wife's pregnancy is going well, keeping her as stress-free and pampered as possible has been my focus. It is such a different experience this time, both because of how much more involved I can be and how much better a relationship I have with my wife than I had with my ex. My daughter Sally has been great, even her partner has been great, helping with the nursery or driving her around when I can't. My wife doesn't know because it is a surprise, but my son has been building a crib for the baby, modeled after the one I built for him and his sister, to show my wife his support. My son is a good man, and he is still in there, he just has a soft spot for Abbie. Which I guess gets us to the part of the movie where Godzilla shows up and starts busting up buildings... So I called a family meeting with my kids to talk about the situation. Told John his sister was only doing wedding activities she wanted to and that the guilting requests needed to stop, that this was hurting his relationship with his sister. Sally was happy I said it so she did not have to yet again. I told him if he did not stop her from messaging me I would block her with a bluntly honest explanation why. We got a lot out, John seemed to understand but then a few days later they insisted on coming to talk. Sally and I decided we would get everything out. So all of us ate at our place, Abbie started in immediately about baby shower stuff and I told that is the kind of thing we wanted to talk about. I told her that I understood she has been trying to fill a hole that she has, that she thought she was getting a father, a second mother (she calls my ex-wife mom apparently) and a sister. I told her it was still possible but that she needed to start listening to us. I told her that for the sake of family we would give her a fresh start, if she agreed that moving forward she would respect our boundaries. My daughter did not love this idea but loves her brother and was willing to try. Abbie tried to say that since we were starting over we could define what the relationship would be and just be family, we told her we were not ready for that, that it needs to happen organically. She got mad that I am closer with my daughter's partner, which is true but we just get along, and that she deserved it for trying so hard. My daughter said something about trying things we actually want. She ran to our bathroom, he ran after her. After a while I checked on him, I could hear her repeating "this is not what I wanted." My wife, daughter, and her partner went out to the patio to give them privacy and salvage the night, after a bit I got a text saying they had just left. I checked in with him the next day and he said they talked more at home and she understood. For a couple of weeks things were good. The texts stopped except the occasional wedding question, since it was getting closer. She stopped pushing herself on my wife and Sally, and we thought was involving us in less in wedding planning out of respect, since as it was they only got the venue at the rate they did because of my professional connections and they know I was willing to help but not interested in helping plan, even if I am good at event-planning. But then I got a call from the venue telling me the card I used had been declined. Now this is a specific card I use for big purchases because of the miles so I knew it had a high limit. That was how I learned that they had changed dates by two months despite being informed I would still be out much of the money because it was too close to the date. I was furious, I mean I have been lucky in life financially but I am not blow-off deposits like nothing wealthy. Called my son, said he needed to get his ass to the house, just him. They both came. When they arrived I opened the door, she actually started with, "Dad!" I think I just replied "you have got to be f'n kidding me" and walked toward the table. Abbie had the nerve to ask where dinner was, my response was not polite as I made it clear that was not why they were here. I hoped my son would not lie to me so I asked what was going on with the venue. She started going into wedding details but my son interrupted to tell me they postponed because my ex-wife was unavailable because of a surgery and he had not told me because he was putting money together to pay the lost money himself, and he had just reached out to guests to let them know. And that is when Abbie's mouth opened..."we have extra time to work on our dance..." Now during this time my wife came home, and i was walking her toward the bedroom when Abbie said that. My pregnant wife with me I said, calmly, "I have different feelings about that and will elaborate further shortly" or something like that. Then I laid my wife down and got her water, turned on her symphonic covers of popular songs and walked back to the table and said something like "You are out of your f'n mind have you even been listening?!" I made it clear I was done with this nonsense, we all were, and kind of lost it asking she did not hear us last time because her head was up her ass. She was stunned silent (what a beautiful sound) and looked at me while I, admittedly with little filter, explained what Sally and I thought of our time with her and her attempts to force us to love her without even getting to know us. She started crying and stood up and shouted "then what was this even for?!" John asked what she meant, if she meant them and he started to freak out. She was frantic and said she meant delaying the wedding. Because, and I'm pouring another drink to write this, it was a ploy! My ex-wife and her decided if I HAD MORE TIME I would come around. Apparently my ex told her not to worry about the money because "I am loaded." She has always been bitter I make so much more than I did when we were married, as if that is out of spite rather than my career arc. I think she did that on purpose, frankly. But she not only told me that lie, she and my ex told John as well. He was distraught. Repeating "you lied to me" as she tried to spin it but he was letting it out about how much he has defended her and covered for her and she lied to him too. She was defensive and blamed my ex for telling her things and me for being stubborn, she yelled "why can't I just f'n call him dad" and, finally, after so long, I heard John respond "because he is not your f'n dad!" She started crying and something about his being the one that told she could call me that and he said he told her she might be able to eventually but he had told her again and again to slow down. She started sobbing and went to sit on her chair but missed and fell on the floor. Appreciating physical humor to break the tension I admittedly chuckled and hid my mouth behind my drink, this all led to a lot of sobbing. I said I needed to check on my wife and as I walked out she was repeating "I just want him to be my dad too." I came out and he was walking her to the door and apologized, I said not too, they left. He came over a few days later and said they had a long talk at home, he even asked her if she would have dated him if there was never a chance of being in the family. He believed her when she said yes but she admitted I was a big draw as well. I was the kind of dad she always wanted, my relationship with Sally is what she always wanted, and the way she said it gave John doubts that she loves him for him. I talked about marriage counseling, how his mother and I tried it and, while it did not save us, it provided clarity and an impartial voice. I pointed out they both like coming to me, but I cannot be impartial and if they are trying then they need to do it for real. Abbie texted asking if I was the one who suggested therapy, I responded with "does it matter if John wants to?" She asked why it is so bad she wants to know what I think and I just said john is the man whose opinion should matter most to her. They fought due to the text, she agreed to the counseling and the wedding has been postponed!! I may have done a dance. So they are in counseling, he said she struggles but I obviously do not know details. She is pressing for me and Sally to go to a session with her, Sally told her she did not want to hear Sally unfiltered, and I am not interested. Abbie has been leaving Sally alone, she stopped texting me except for the occasional general question which include some attempt to go deeper. My wife still occasionally spends time with her because she is very into her pregnancy, more so than I like but it is my wife's call. So that is where we are, sorry it was so long but alcohol makes for a poor editor.   Update #3: November 20, 2024 (1.5 months later) I was told I should do updates here, people have been asking me to, and to get into what went down on father's day and at their mother's house, I have been extremely busy these last few months but am enjoying my temporary unemployment and thought of this account because of recent thanksgiving drama. I will do a an update and then will share what happened earlier. Oh, and to whomever made the joke that Abbie finally got me to dance, that made me laugh, I shared that with the family. My time has been largely caring for my wife, I tend to dote, I know. We are having a boy! We are really excited, though neither of us really had gender preference. I have raised both and both experiences were wonderful. Now we are discussing names, who we are going to honor. I thought everything had been quiet, but recently found my wife crying and found out I was wrong. Given how busy I have been with work, and my wife knowing I would be free again once we got into this month, my wife has kept this to herself. Apparently Abbie has been pushing for one thanksgiving this year. Things have been quiet with Abbie, my son said the wedding blowing up woke her up, and that therapy had been helping. But then this. My understanding is that while John has been talking less with his mother because of all that happened, Abbie did the opposite. From my wife's telling, Abbie dropped by one day with my ex wife. My wife intensely dislikes my ex wife because of lies she spread about my first marriage ending due to infidelity with her, despite their being no infidelity and the linear nature of time making it impossible for us to have slept together back then. Before anyone asks, my ex wife does not actually think there was infidelity, I would get into that, but I am sure I would sound biased. Anyway so my wife looked at our camera app, saw who it was and called my daughter; apparently the two of them were keeping things from me because I was working 18 hour days and they did not want me dealing with anything else. I wish they had not done that, but I appreciate the thought. I am really lucky to have such caring people around me. My daughter called her mom and said something that made them leave in a hurry, she will not tell me what but she smiles when I ask. I called John but he was dealing with somehard work news, so I just was there for him and left the other alone. The next day Abbie came back, alone this time. My wife saw it was her and asked her what she wanted through the door, Abbie said to apologize. My wife let her in (she is too nice) and after a nice talk Abbie asked about the whole family getting together for thanksgiving, my wife said of course, she assumed as much. A couple of days later in our groupchat we were discussing details, who brings what, and Abbie asks what else is needed. I say John already committed and she asked what about my ex wife, what should she bring. In the time I have known Abbie she has never made an intentional joke that funny, so I asked what she was talking about and she mentioned the "whole family" comment, and my daughter and I both asked what made her think we counted her as family?? She actually replied "she is my family. i don't have a dad who wants me, just a mom and my mom deserves to be with family on thanksgiving" Sally replied "well we'll miss you and John then." Abbie asks how she can say that, Sally asks how she can be so stupid, John says not to call her stupid and I say that is fair but there is no real way she thought my wife thought she meant my ex wife(at this point my wife had filled me in). And then...this is so stupid...she uses my son's phone to add my ex frigging wife to the group chat. She then thanks us for the invitation and asks what she can bring! As I was typing my daughter beats me to it and asks what she thinks she is doing, she knows she is not welcome- but says it less politely. My wife types "you could not have thought she was included when I said family." Abbie responded that she was not coming as my family but as hers. Sally let her mom have it, she already is not talking to her much and said if my exwife is there then she is not. I mentioned there was never a chance ex was going to come and said I understand Abbie and John wanting to go to their mom's house so she is not alone. John typed "plans not definite, will let you know" He has since told me that he is not going to go to his mom's place but wanted to tell Abbie alone first. All I can think about is the comment about not having a dad who wants her, because it means she is still thinking about me as a dad, I believe. Just a negligent one. I mentioned that to my son and he said he noticed it to and had brought it up at therapy, because family is such a frequent topic, though I obviously do not know details. Wow I thought this would be brief but that was a lot, I will get into the crazy stories later if there are people seeing this who want me to. I do not know how posting from here works in terms of anyone seeing it, but this has been good to get out. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Someone needs to explain sunk cost fallacy to John. I genuinely cannot believe he is still with her after the sheer volume of times she has disrespected him, his boundaries, and your family. Maybe this was back in an earlier post but has anyone really taken the time to reason with him that there are other women out there and he deserves so much better than this kind of relationship? OOP: I had a talk when this started, so did his sister. After the blowup with the wedding his sister and I took him out for a game and some time to really talk after, that was when he apparently demanded counseling. I am happy that for now marriage is on hold, at least. He is seeing her a bit more honestly, but is still too optimistic, in my view. OOP needs to let his wife know not to let Abbie in when he is not home. OOP: I have asked my wife to never let her in if I am not here after last time. Well, actually I had already asked her, but after the last incident my wife has agreed. + You are exactly correct that she takes advantage of my wife's kindness, though once our boy is here I think she will be very protective and will hold strong. I have told John that Abbie will not be holding our baby, at least for the foreseeable future. OOP and his daughter need to have a serious talk with his son about Abbie OOP: His sister and I had a serious conversation with him a little after everything blew up, it seems to be what inspired both his demand for counseling and putting the marriage on hold. He is better about seeing her honestly, his sister said something about Abbie having similarities to their mother, which would have been fighting words from anyone else (and I saw the temper that rarely comes out) but then he listened because she clearly put thought into it. I never thought about it, I am proud to have kids smarter than me (I know my boy don't come off a genius in these posts, and fsir enough in that dept., but professionally he is brilliant). She laid her reasoning out in excruciating detail, he listened though because she was not enjoying it at all, it was sincere. Some seemed to have clicked because since that talk he has been different with her. I just am not getting my hopes up. Commenter 2: When two crazies are feeding off each other’s crazy they can start thinking anything is possible. I have a feeling that even if your son leaves her she’s not going to go away peacefully. Her and your ex sound like peas in a pod unfortunately. OOP: My daughter really went at him pointing out their similarities. She made her case well and thankfully it shook him up.   ----NEW UPDATE---- mini update - I may have my boy back!: December 13, 2024 (almost one month later) I do not have time to elaborate right now but I am so excited I had to share this, Thanksgiving went so badly that my son called off the engagement itself and is now going to stay at our place while he figures out his next step! He came over Sunday night exhausted and asked if he could use the guest room and we talked for a couple of hours, I understand a bit more why he felt trapped now but he realizes if she does not see her issues then he cannot help her with them. I am taking him and his sister for a fun day on Saturday to just have some fun, he looks so tired and just needs some fun. Hopefully, while yes things are messy, he is moving in a better direction for himself. People here have been great and genuinely seemed to be rooting for him which I appreciate, so I just thought I would share the good news. Happy holidays, especially mine as he told her she was not invited!! Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I'm so glad you have your son back! But she's so delusional it may get worse before it gets better. OOP: I agree she will not be easy to disentangle from, I doubt she will let it be easy. We already have cameras outside in multiple spots, and Abbie does not have a key. I feel like we got my son back and Abbie got my ex-wife, I will take that deal in a heartbeat! Commenter 2: I mean, I'm a long-time mental health professional, so I've seen some shit, thus I'm immediately picturing, upon your son officially ending it for good, her having a full on psychotic break and regressing into a child, throwing a full blown, kicking and screaming on the ground, shamelessly snotty and drooling no-fucks-given ugly-crying, DEFCON TODDLER level tantrum on the spot, screaming desperately for "her" Daddy, and raging at your son - not because he doesn't love her, or because he rejected her romantically, or any reason we would find realistic in our plane of what we consider "logic" - but rather accusing your son of taking "her" Daddy away and trying to keep HER AND YOU from being the family you were always meant to be. Honestly, this type of crazy is so familiar to me, I could practically write the speech myself 🙃. BUT! This is NOT meant to be a prediction. This is just a worst-case-scenario type possibility, which is OBVIOUSLY what popped into my head, because, a.) Far too many years of personal experience in a professional capacity with "worst-case-scenarios" like this and even MORE crazy... and 2.) redditlol. OOP: He told me all about their conversation and how it confirmed to him he was making the right choice. It sounds like you are right about shouting and throwing things and said he was taking away her chance to have a family. There was a lot more, some I know, a lot I do not, but well done with your highly-educated guess, I cannot imagine the stories that you must have. OOP on how Thanksgiving turned out so badly OOP: It was pretty bad, Abbie showed up with my ex wife despite the fact there was never a chance that woman would be allowed in my house. It got ugly from there and my son really let them both have it. He is done with his mom, both of my kids are, which after years of seething about lies she told about me but needing to hold it in around them, it is all out there now. Commenter 3: Omg I have been waiting for your update, I hope your family and wife are all well. I'm sorry to hear about your son and I hope he heals, but he has done the right thing, he will find an amazing woman. I no its probably not going to happen but I hope the drama settles and I shall away your update with the dets OOP: That is why I came to post, some people have been really great on here and seem to be genuinely concerned, which I did not expect but felt meant I should catch people up. He is seeming like his old self, best gift for the holidays I could have asked for you know, but I know this will be a process for him. We will be here for him. Commenter 4: His lucky to have such a great dad, you have been so smooth and chill through all of this, sounds like he has the support he needs to get thorugh this, I hope life gets better for him and you guys too OOP: Thank you, there were many times I wanted to be more assertive, but I worried that since he loves her and they were living together, which meant she could be in his ear constantly, that if I pushed it would either push him away or cause him to push back. It has been bad but while I know he has not given up on the relationship completely, he now knows she needs to show him she is working on herself or he is done. He moved a lot of clothes here, and when she messaged last week he asked her if she had been following through on something, and when she said no he was furious. He told me that he does not trust her and I asked him if there is can even be the foundation for a relationship without total trust and he said no. I think he is getting there!   Latest Update here: BoRU #5   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Still working on finding a holding product (I have somewhat thin and fine hair... any product recs for my texture would be great btw!) But I am really enjoying the progress. My hair has stopped matting on my scalp and feels less... stiff I guess? Before the harder water would make me feel like I have a helmet of hair on... not sure why that was. I do need a haircut ( thinking curly cut or some sort od layers but idk if it will work with my slightly looser texture ) but am very happy with results! submitted by /u/milesgaither to r/curlyhair [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Bellpop to r/mildlyinteresting [link] [comments]

I have been searching for a shower head like this one that is made of metal and does not have the filter beads. All of these shower heads with the hundreds of tiny holes come from manufacturers that I just can't trust and wanted to know if there was a better option out there that had the same spray effect? submitted by /u/endlesslyyearning to r/BuyItForLife [link] [comments]

I think we’ve gone too far guys lol submitted by /u/emmyloo22 to r/MineralGore [link] [comments]