Birthday Gifts For Mom

... granny spoils us all. My mom had 6 kids and my ... event, birthday party, nothing! I have 0 complaints. My husband’s mom doesn’t drive... does come to their birthday parties and drops off gifts for Christmas. I...

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... a group to go traveling. Mom did just that after Dad's... best but they are still gifts. My prostate cancer was discovered... our youngest great granddaughter's third birthday so I take each of... as well as Liane Roberta's birthday. pi_guy said: Maybe what they... nine days before our 21st birthday on the way to work...

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... only got “easier” because of gifts from God — faith and hope... just before our first’s second birthday. The timing was still not... now a stay at home mom of two rather than one...

I’m feeling pretty heated right now and need some perspective. My friend’s daughter is turning one today. A few weeks ago, my friend asked if I could make truffles for the party. I agreed, and she mentioned she would reimburse me for the ingredients. However, because truffles are expensive to make and incredibly labor-intensive, I decided I would just gift them as the birthday present instead of asking for money. I spent all day yesterday in the kitchen making these. I had to wake up super early this morning to finish the final touches and get ready for the 9 AM start time listed on the invitation. I showed up at 9 AM sharp, truffles in hand, and the place was empty. I double-checked the invite and it definitely said 9 AM. I called my friend, and she casually told me that the time had been changed to the afternoon. She admitted she "forgot" to tell me, and apparently, I was the only guest who wasn't notified. After working so hard yesterday and sacrificing my Saturday morning sleep, I was (and am) pissed. I havent told her if ai can make it in the afternoon yet WIBTA if I charge her the full amount for the ingredients and my time since I might no longer be attending and these were meant to be the “gift” or refuse to go to the afternoon session because I’ve already wasted my morning and now I "have other plans" (which is mostly just being too annoyed to celebrate)? EDIT: I did not tell her I would gift her the truffles, I had just decided that myself EDIT: A lot of people are asking for more context so here it goes. We moved to a new city last year so I’ve been trying hard to make new friends and I’ve been hanging out with this friend and some of her friends, but I’m not “in” their little group yet. I’m a very helpful person in general and have a lot of party planning experience, so I actually helped her decide many aspects of the party, like how much food, what types of food, how many drinks, etc. We were exchanging info back and forth about this party constantly and I even lent her a bunch of my own decor stuff to use for the cake table. Also, she specifically chose 9 am because that’s when her daughter is most alert and happiest, so this was supposed to be a brunch type birthday party. Given how much we talked about the details and the fact that she has my decor, I really don't feel like this was an easy thing to "forget." UPDATE: Wow, I did not expect this to blow up! First of all, I don’t think it’s fair for some people to say I’m self-obsessed or that it’s "clear" why I’m not included in the group. Clearly, those people have never been in a position where they had to move cities and make new friends after a certain age it is not easy. I wrote that first post while I was literally leaving the empty venue and heading home, so everything was fresh and I just needed to process externally and see what others would do. I think that's pretty normal when you're frustrated. After taking a nap and reading through the comments, I decided to be an adult about it. I went to the birthday party in the afternoon, brought the truffles, and told her they were a gift. I do think she just had a "mom brain" moment and genuinely forgot to tell me, but because I’m new here and have been struggling with feeling excluded, it hit me harder in the moment. Thank you everyone for your answers and for helping me see things more clearly. I’m not going to hold this over her head, but I am going to keep it in mind. If it happens again or becomes a pattern, I’ll know this isn't the right friendship for me. submitted by /u/BellaBilla to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is TheBolter9. She posted in r/AITAH Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: pretty good ending Original Post: January 17, 2026 I’m having a mild panic attack because I acted out of frustration and don’t know if that makes me an asshole in this situation or not. My mom’s birthday was last week. My family (myself, my three younger brothers, their SO’s, and my mother) made plans to do dinner at my mom’s place tonight. I planned to buy and cook all the food and the cake and then my brothers and I were going to go in on a big gift for my mom. We’ve been planning this for weeks. I’ve been busy with work so I wasn’t able to go get the gift earlier this week, but texted my brothers in a group chat today and sent a screenshot of the gift, let them know I was going to pick it up, reminded them of the dinner time, and asked them to send me their share of the money. All of them chose then to inform me they didn’t have money to pitch in. Which normally doesn’t bother me. I understand that the world is rough right now and everything is expensive. I’m barely hanging on by a thread most days. I have a degree and work an emotionally draining job during the week and have a second side gig that I work literally every day. I know how hard it is to just survive, but I’ve been busting my ass all week to make sure I had the money to do this for my mom. She goes all out for all of us on our birthdays (and Christmas and literally every other day of the year). I made sure to fully plan this out way in advance so my brothers could save the money for the gift and literally didn’t have to do anything else but show up for dinner with our mother. So when they all just sounded super nonchalant about not having the money to chip in and kind of like they just expected me to take care of everything, I lost it a little. I called my mom (didn’t tell her why, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, though I’m sure she figured it out) and asked if she’d like to go to her favorite restaurant for dinner (on me, of course). She sounded excited about that. I texted the boys and told them I was taking her to dinner instead and they could come if they wanted to. They were all pretty pissed about it, because they don’t have the money to go. I did tell them I was picking up a cake after dinner and they could meet me at my mom’s to do the cake and see her, though that didn’t seem to help much. I still plan to go pick the gift up, but I’m not putting their names on it. Which I feel petty about, but I’m just tired of this happening every time we do something for her. They always seem to have money and ideas for my dad. I feel like they take our mom for granted and I’m always picking up the slack so she thinks all of us were in on whatever it was we (I) planned. AMITAH? Should I have just carried on with the original plan? Top Comments: Flat_Criticism6440: This is better, she gets to go out to eat and spend time with her daughter. Also, why should your brothers get credit they had no part in. If your mom doesn't already know, it's time she found out. JustKindaHappenedxx: Also OP shouldn’t be paying for all the food to feed her 3 brothers and presumably their SOs as well. From now on, buy your own individual gift for your mom. Take her out to eat yourself and only pay for yourself and your mom. Everyone else can buy their own gifts. Everyone else can put in the effort to celebrate your mom themselves. It’s not your job to pick up the slack for them. They didn’t bother saving because they thought you would take care of it for them. I’m guessing you always have. Did your parents raise you and your brothers to believe the women are the planners and party hosts and the men just show up, eat and leave? If so, stop that cycle. Update Comment: January 18, 2026 (Next Day) UPDATE- Hi, everyone! First, thank you all for the comments. I super appreciate each of you taking the time to respond. Some of it was for sure tough to read, but I think I needed to hear it. Second, this is a real lengthy update but after so many comments, I figured I should give it. My mom and I had an AMAZING day yesterday. We went shopping, went to dinner, and I gave her the gift I got her. The woman almost did cartwheels out of the restaurant. It was just a pink Kitchenaid stand up mixer. She’s wanted one forever and would never buy it for herself. Seeing her so excited made all of this totally worth it. Update on my brothers- they pooled their three brain cells together by the end of the day and realized why I was so upset. They ended up apologizing and promising not to let it happen again. Which I appreciate, but did let them know my boundaries going forward. I plan to make this a tradition with my mom and they’re always invited to attend the dinner, but I won’t be getting my hopes up for them going in on a bigger gift, nor will I rely on them to do so. I encouraged them to each get a gift for my mom on their own. They can do with that what they will, but I know where I stand. They all did come over to her house afterwards for the cake. My mom definitely has bougie taste in baked goods, so the cake I got was fairly expensive (but still totally worth it to see her so excited). The boys said they were going to send me money to pitch in for the cake when they get paid next week. Whether or not they actually will, I’m not sure, but I guess we’ll see. I had already planned to do that on my own, so I’m not real pressed about them sending the money for that. It would be nice, but I’m not holding my breath. My mom loved the cake, and loved that all of her kids/grandkids/DIL’s came together to sing happy birthday and hang out with her for a couple hours. I wanted to answer some frequently asked questions, too. I am a woman and the oldest of the siblings (I’m 31). My three brothers are all grown, ranging in age from 23 to 29. My dad didn’t know any of this was happening, mainly because him and my mom are no longer married. They’ve been divorced since I was 16. Though I should have called him to let him know. He does not mess around about my mom and gives a very good “pull your head out of your ass” speech. This has happened a few times in the past. As in, them not putting in nearly as much effort as I have (or none for some of them) and I just go through with it anyway for my mom. But that’s not happening again. Took me 31 years to set these boundaries with my brothers, but those boundaries are permanent going forward. This post is not AI. I wish it was. Would make my life a lot easier. I am usually the one to plan birthdays or other special occasions outside of major holidays. My parents always plan the big holidays together. They’re divorced but we still do things like Christmas, thanksgiving, Easter, and Halloween together as a family. I’ve been fairly blessed with parents who have divorced but are still really good friends. My brothers always have more input on my dad because they do know him better, I think. I’m close to both of my parents, but my mom is definitely my best friend. We see each other multiple times a week just to do random stuff like go to Walmart together or whatever. We also live fairly close to each other, which makes this possible. All of my brothers work with my dad every day so they do talk all the time. Although, I feel like this shouldn’t be an excuse not to have at least one idea. My mom gets excited by any amount of effort from anyone in her life. They could gift her a picture of her with her grandkids in a nice frame and she would cry for a week. Like, it doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to show you thought about her. I just wanted to do this big gift because she’s been staring at this damn mixer for two years now, talking about how much she wants it, but she will never buy something expensive for herself. She deserved it. I think those were the most asked questions. If you want to know anything else, feel free to ask. But also thank you all again. I needed the tough love. I’ve been coddling my brothers since they were born and that’s my fault. As the oldest and a very type A personality, I have always felt responsible for everyone in my family. I’m slowly learning that’s not helpful, to them or myself. Top Comment Reply to OOP: Next_Level_Bitch: First off, it sounds like you made sure your mom had a wonderful all-about-her birthday. Also, you got your sibs to wake tf up about their attitude to their mother. But... JUST a pink KitchedAid stand mixer? JUST?!? That would make we do cartwheels, jumping jacks, and jazz hands all at once! That is a primo, #1, first-rate gift. Kudos to you! EDIT: Fixed ham-fingered typos submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hi reddit, I'm posting this on a throwaway account due to some of the people involved use reddit. Im re-writing this post because the one I initally wrote would have been too long, so I'm going to summarize the series of events as best as possible. I (20F) lost my mother 8 months ago, suddenly. I have experience a wave of emotion as I had a weird relationship with my mother and a lot of unsaid things. I did not get to say goodbye to her which pains me every. single. day. I have a large group of friends, some from high school and some from uni, who have all supporting me tremendously. One specific friend, Kayla, I met in uni. I would not consider her my best friend, but she has been such an amazing support to me throughout this whole situation with my mom. She always told me I could come to her for anything and would even pull me aside during social events to make sure I was doing okay. Yesterday, my birthday, Kayla and a group of my other friends came over unannounced with party decorations, snacks, and even cake. After the emotional morning I had due to the dread I had for my birthday coming, this made me cry. I felt so seen and loved in this moment. This lasted up until my friends brought gifts they had bought. I opened two gifts before opening Kayla's. It was a large box. I opened it with a huge smile on my face, and my friends all looked excited for me to see what was inside. To my shock, there was a mug and a hoodie. Both had a large, bold font saying "Motherless Behaviour". I was in so much shock I excused myself. I ended up calling it a night and they all left, Kayla muttering "It was supposed to be funny" as she passed by me to leave. This morning I woke up with texts from some of my friends at the party reassuring me Kayla had no ill intent, and then I saw Kayla messaged me. The message was LENGTHY, including many messages saying things like "it was of good intent. You embarassed me. I was trying to lightent the situation." One message in particular that Kayla sent had gotten to me, this message said "after 8 months you should be able to accept your moms death and joke about it. you're self-sabotaging from holding on, and its ruining your friendships." I felt so sick. This question is making me wonder if truly I am the asshole and if I should be over my mothers death. submitted by /u/Immediate-Iron7241 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I’m having a mild panic attack because I acted out of frustration and don’t know if that makes me an asshole in this situation or not. My mom’s birthday was last week. My family (myself, my three younger brothers, their SO’s, and my mother) made plans to do dinner at my mom’s place tonight. I planned to buy and cook all the food and the cake and then my brothers and I were going to go in on a big gift for my mom. We’ve been planning this for weeks. I’ve been busy with work so I wasn’t able to go get the gift earlier this week, but texted my brothers in a group chat today and sent a screenshot of the gift, let them know I was going to pick it up, reminded them of the dinner time, and asked them to send me their share of the money. All of them chose then to inform me they didn’t have money to pitch in. Which normally doesn’t bother me. I understand that the world is rough right now and everything is expensive. I’m barely hanging on by a thread most days. I have a degree and work an emotionally draining job during the week and have a second side gig that I work literally every day. I know how hard it is to just survive, but I’ve been busting my ass all week to make sure I had the money to do this for my mom. She goes all out for all of us on our birthdays (and Christmas and literally every other day of the year). I made sure to fully plan this out way in advance so my brothers could save the money for the gift and literally didn’t have to do anything else but show up for dinner with our mother. So when they all just sounded super nonchalant about not having the money to chip in and kind of like they just expected me to take care of everything, I lost it a little. I called my mom (didn’t tell her why, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, though I’m sure she figured it out) and asked if she’d like to go to her favorite restaurant for dinner (on me, of course). She sounded excited about that. I texted the boys and told them I was taking her to dinner instead and they could come if they wanted to. They were all pretty pissed about it, because they don’t have the money to go. I did tell them I was picking up a cake after dinner and they could meet me at my mom’s to do the cake and see her, though that didn’t seem to help much. I still plan to go pick the gift up, but I’m not putting their names on it. Which I feel petty about, but I’m just tired of this happening every time we do something for her. They always seem to have money and ideas for my dad. I feel like they take our mom for granted and I’m always picking up the slack so she thinks all of us were in on whatever it was we (I) planned. AMITAH? Should I have just carried on with the original plan? EDIT TO ADD- I’ve posted an update in the comments. 😊 submitted by /u/TheBolter9 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP, the OOP is u/IGaveTheBook TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, Potential sexual assault of a minor MOOD SPOILER: Ends on an uplifting note There are a lot of posts here, so I included a tl;dr at the bottom Here is the original BORU of this Post 1: AITA for gifting my mom and her husband a book on cheating for their anniversary? - March 2nd, 2022 I'm (16 M) and I love my mom (35) but when I was 10 she had an affair and left us, I visited her as often as I could and she always seemed so happy when I was there but I hated her new family so I stopped visiting. Honestly we rarely ever saw each other after just for my birthday and events really. She wants us to be close but I want nothing to do with her new husband so I've kept my distance. Except on Feb 20th my dad announced he'd be out on business till the 12th and my grandparents are stuck visiting relatives in Italy and so I really had nowhere to go and my mom jumped at the chance to have me stay with her. And just my luck that my mom's anniversary with her husband was on Sunday. I haven't had a good time here at all so all I do is stay in my room doing homework or go out with friends to avoid family activities cause it sucks seeing how lovey dovey she is with her husband and how they seem like the perfect family with their daughters. The morning before her anniversary day she came to my bed and tried to cuddle with me like before she left us but it made me angry like we can't go back in time and pretend it's how it was. So I just pretended to be asleep and stayed curled up and frozen till she left. I started crying cause of that and I felt angry and snarky and my mom majored in literature so I got her a copy of Anna Karenina for her anniversary. That book's about a lady who leaves her husband and son for her lover. I've never read it but I watched the movie with my girlfriend and I hated it. The anniversary party was on Sunday. Everyone was having fun but me and then people gave their gifts. I gave mine and when my mom saw what it was she seemed shocked but just said thanks. The party ended like an hour after. But at night when she was in her room I heard her crying really loudly. So I kinda eavesdropped a little and heard her saying stuff about that book and me and her husband trying to calm her. The next day at breakfast she left for work early before I woke up and her husband straight up called me an asshole and other stuff for gifting them that. It's been a few days now and my mom has barely talked to me. Honestly I feel so wrong I made my mom cry but at the same time I don't want to be here and she knows that so am I really the asshole? Edit: Thankfully the mods have locked this. But to everyone who keeps DMing me here's some facts to read before you do: I gave my mom the book to try and get it across to her that I hate being at her house and being around her family and that it hurts me to be there because I sympathized with the son from the movie not because I want a train to run her over - I do not want that to happen to my mom I do not want my dad to get back together with my mom, he's happy with his fiancee My dad has his reasons for not wanting me to go to therapy and is just being protective Yes I stopped visiting my mom cause I hate her husband but she had custody of me on weekends or breaks she could've forced me to be with her but since being with him or making him be with us whenever I did go to her was more important she never tried anything beyond the bare minimum of going to big events. Post 1 Comments: OOP responding to a user who doubts that he loves his mom: "Of course I do. End of the day no matter what she's done she's still my mom. I do like being around her and spending time with her, I love talking to her - I just hate that I have to do that around her new husband or the kids she has with him and the life that she left mine for. I love my mom so much thats why it sucked hearing her cry." OOP responding to a user who asks if his mother ever apologized: "No." and then if she made genuine efforts to reconcile: "Not really. Maybe it feels like to her she has, but it doesn't to me." OOP responding to a user if what he did made him feel good: "No it didn't." OOP on why his dad won't let him go to therapy: "Cause of some stuff that happened to him with a psychologist when he was younger Like younger than me but I'm not going to talk about that it isn't relevant and I think it's against the rules to explicitly mention." Post 2: Update 1 - March 16th, 2022 Posting this now cause people keep messaging me about it. The day after I posted I let my gf read it and she was like stay with me dummy. I told my dad, he said I could stay there and sent my gf's mom an email. At my mom's home I told her, she got really sad but said ok she'd drive me and sent an email too. I still wanted to talk alone to my mom like people said to. As she drove I wanted to talk like the school counselor helped me write a letter to read (like some people said to) but I just froze and she drove to a parking lot and started talking. She said a lot of stuff about the book, about still seeing me like I'm her baby, her not actually being happy and about us but ended with her saying its ok for me to hate her for what she did cause she hurt me and she'd never push to be my mom again but if I ever wanted she'd be there for me. But I don't hate her I love her so I started crying really bad I've never had a breakdown but I think that's what it was. I remember her taking me to the backseat and hugging me and me trying to say I love her while crying but its a blur. She calmed me down and I told her how I feel and I do want her to be my mom just I hate her husband and I don't want a train to hit her I even told her about when she tried to cuddle and how I feel bad now cause that'll never happen again cause I'm never going back to her house. She told me she knew I was awake and was mad at her so I started crying again. She told me it was ok and she's wrong and we talked a lot but I kept crying so she got me advil cause my head started hurting. She seemed sad I hate her husband but got really mad at him when I told her all the mean things he's said to me and said she'd never let him get between us again. She said she'd take me to therapy with just her no matter what dad says and to spend time with me alone. She dropped me off and I've felt better since I stayed there until my dad came back. My dad promised never to send me there again and to stay at my gf's if my grandparents stay in Italy. He agreed to let me do family therapy with my mom but he said he'd ensure its appropriate. We haven't started it yet, but my mom has kept her promise to spend time with me so far and it does make me feel happier. I didn't think the last post would blow up like it did so I hope with this update you guys don't have to worry much anymore cause I think it's getting better. Post 3: Update 2 - May 9th, 2022 So just an update (posting during locker break so I can't respond till later) cause some people are curious and are messaging me so here's like a mass update. I've been going to therapy with my mom every day on Fridays, but we hang out just the two of us for on Saturdays and Sundays. Like our first weekend together she took me to see Batman and the day after we went to Boston Pizza. Since then we've really just been going on walks and hikes or even shopping but I like that cause we get to talk a lot. And we talk on facetime every day. It really does feel like I've gotten her back as my mom and that's what I wanted. The best part is that when we hug now it's like we're actually hugging and before it was like I did it cause I had to and I guess it just feels so special. Like I don't know but I feel really happy, which I didn't before. I guess it was like I was missing something cause even my girlfriend has said that I seem a lot happier than before. Therapy has been really weird. It's not at all what I thought it would be. Like before the first meeting my dad talked to the psychologist for like half an hour like he was interrogating her but then my mom and I had the session. It was like the psychologist was focused on that book and why it made my mom cry and everything. The sessions since then have been weird cause it's like I end up crying a lot so my mom always brings a bottle of Gatorade for me. My mom does end up crying too but she always tries to hide it and not show and when the therapist asked why she said cause she doesn't want her crying to influence what I'm saying or how I'm feeling. I still don't feel comfortable going alone even though the therapist has said it and my mom's said she'll take me and is going to start going on her own too but I just don't feel ready. Oh and in therapy I did tell her I was worried that she was only doing all of this cause she wanted to bring me into her family and when she figured out it would never happen she would just choose her husband again and leave me for good. That made her cry a lot and she couldn't even hold it in and she was like it's cause she's finally starting to understand that I don't trust her and I might never trust her again and she's knows it's all her fault. She did promise me again though that I'd never have to see her husband and she'd only bring her daughters when I wanted and that she'd never let him stop her from going to my graduations and my wedding. When she kinda calmed down she did say that the only time I'd have to deal with him was at her funeral but I don't want to think about that. I don't want to write too much about what happened in therapy but I guess I kind of felt like I should share that. Easter was the best holiday I've had in a while even though I didn't go anywhere. My mom's husband took their kids to see his parents and she stayed behind. We spent so much time that weekend together for part of it I kind of felt like a little kid again. I even got to properly introduce her to my girlfriend and to my girlfriend's mom and we all had Easter dinner together. Like my mom made the turkey and it was amazing I didn't know how much I missed it but it tasted exactly like it did when I was little. And I did finally admit to her that my grandparents aren't coming back from Italy and that's why I was feeling so down recently. I also admitted that dad and his fiancee are going to move to Catania after I graduate and are going to stay there and that I'll probably go to university in Catania and Palermo. She was sad and she did admit she didn't want me to go cause I'd end up moving Summer next year and that's not that far away and she probably wouldn't see me in person at all. But she did say she'd support me no matter what I chose. And a lot of our sessions since then have kind of focused on me going to university there. Yesterday on Mother's Day her husband went to see his parents again and my mom and I were already going to a restaurant called Cactus Club together. I didn't know if he was taking their kids and if he wasn't I know I would've felt bad if they didn't get to celebrate Mother's Day with her too so I said she could bring them. I don't really know the girls that well but it was still a good time. My mom brought her camera with her cause she hates using the one on the phone and she got our waitress to take a photo of all of us together at the end. I did have the waitress take the photos again on my phone so I could send them to her and she could have them on her phone. I guess that's another update for everyone who was asking. I don't mind updating and I like talking to the people who comment her or on that repost subreddit, but I'm going to tell my mom I've been posting. If she says I can keep posting then I will but if she tells me to stop, then this is the last one. Post 4: Update 3 - June 21st, 2022 So, I guess to give an update, my exams are all done and it's summer break now. But, I got into AP English! I got two lists of books from my teacher cause he wants us to read them over the Summer to be prepared. On one list it's books like Wuthering Heights, the Great Gatsby, Moby Dick and Frankenstein and he said we absolutely should read through those since we'll be choosing two of them to do essays and stuff on. On the other list, it's just a giant list of books that he recommends reading to be prepared. It's a really big list and of course, Anna Karenina is on the list. My girlfriend saw that and was like well good thing you already bought that one. Anyway, cause my mom knows all those books, I gave her the lists before we went to our therapy session and she agreed to take me to Indigo or to some old bookstores to get me the best versions of them, cause some of them are translated from other languages. I still don't feel comfortable doing therapy without her. I don't know, I just don't think that I'm going to be able to speak up without her there. She's pushing me to do it but I just can't. Even she's done some sessions alone through Teams. But like if I do it alone and I end up crying I don't want the therapist to hug me and if it's at home I don't want my dad or his fiancee to wonder what's wrong. My dad still doesn't like that I'm doing therapy. He actually had a really big fight with his fiancee about it cause when her niece and nephew move in, she's going to send them to therapy. He's like they shouldn't go cause they can't speak English and it might turn out like it did for him cause he couldn't speak English when he had to go as a kid. It sucked cause I got roped into it and my mom ended up being called and she threatened to pull the custody card on dad to make it clear I'd still be going with her. He did say sorry to me after and that he'll try and be more supportive and get over being scared. Anyway, my mom bought me the Great Gatsby, Moby Dick and Frankenstein, cause she said that Wuthering Heights will probably bore me. And from the other list, she got me The Count of Monte Cristo, A Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations and Catch-22. She also gave me the copy of Anna Karenina that I gave her and said she would like for me to read it cause it might help me understand why getting that hurt her so much but that if it gets too much, I can just give it back to her. I guess I can, I mean I saw the movie. How bad can it be? And my mom also said that she wants to take me on a trip somewhere in August. Cause if I move to Italy with everybody next Summer, then we probably won't ever have a proper vacation again. I don't know if I want to go, but if it means so much to her then maybe I will. I just guess I'm scared that maybe her husband will end up coming even though she said that he won't. I guess that's another update for whoever still cares. I'll keep posting as long as I have something I want to write about. I do like venting on here and since the therapist has recommended I continue, I guess I will. Post 5: Update 4 - July 19th, 2022 Didn't think I'd be posting again so soon, but I feel like writing something so why not. Well, I have started reading the Summer reading list. The first one I read was Frankenstein cause I was most excited for it and it did not disappoint. I really liked that book, it was so good. I felt so bad for Frankenstein, like his brother, his brother's nanny and his wife didn't deserve to die just cause he was selfish. It made sense he was a modern Prometheus cause he can't be as good as Prometheus cause he lives in a more modern world. My girlfriend and I watched the Robert de Niro movie together and it was really good too but not as good as the book. I also read the Great Gatsby and it was good but not as good and have started Moby Dick. As for Anna Karenina, I only read the first part. But I like it better than the movie so far. Anna isn't even the main character, that's a guy named Levin. And he's an interesting character, he's smart even though's a simple farmer. I liked all the thinking that he does, it makes him seem real even if the author writes dialogue or thoughts in a way that nobody would ever actually talk or think. What surprised me was how modern it was. There's stuff that tells you it's in the past like receiving guests or telegram or how to start a fireplace but there's also stuff like working in an office, how Levin works on a farm, a public skating rink, them just having coffee in the morning or going to a diner and ordering like it's modern day. I get it wasn't like that for poor people and that everybody in the book is pretty much rich (some of the characters know the emperor) but it's kind of like 1800s Russian rich is like today but with less rights for women. I didn't like the Anna parts and I hate Vronsky, the guy she leaves her family for in the movie. I can't help but thinking of the stupid actor that played him in the movie too (I hate that actor, he's so lame, he's lame in everything I've seen him in and for some reason he's in everything too). He's a shitty guy who goes to brothels and tricks Kitty, the girl Levin loves, into thinking he'll marry her so he can bang her, pretends to love his mom cause she's a ho and when he meets Anna, the first thing he hears is how much she loves her son but starts trying to get her. It makes me mad, he knows she has a kid and thinks it's all right to go for her. He's not written as if he could be a real person either. What's weird is when Vronsky and Anna dance, the author writes Kitty's perspective to show her being humiliated but also to show those two fall in love. Then the chapters after are Anna's perspective but the author doesn't explain why they acted like that, just that Anna is attracted to him but is ashamed and Vronsky is in love. I hate Vronsky, she tells him no twice when she sees him after the ball but he keeps going after her. We have assemblys on how girls don't like guys who don't take no for an answer but the author's writes she does. He's such a stupid, stupid character. I hate this character so much and it's worse that he's played by the stupidest actor ever in that stupid movie. And then it's as if meeting him changed Anna so much she doesn't find her son as good as she imagined even though he's still the best thing in the world to her. Plus, Anna's husband isn't even bad, he's just sarcastic but he's not cheating and trusts her and the author says they love each other. I actually had an argument with my mom cause she was said if I think Levin is the main character then Kitty is just as important and I'll see why the author needed to show the ball from her perspective and also cause it shows the effect of Anna's actions. But it's like the author needed them to fall in love and wrote Kitty's perspective cause it was too hard to write Anna so he tells us she falls in love and he leaves it to us to imagine why that happens. We ended up bringing the argument into therapy cause it got intense cause my mom wouldn't accept that I don't think the author is that good. And my therapist said I'm projecting people in my life onto people in the book and that just dovetailed into stuff about my dad not wanting me to go to therapy. My dad's fiancee's niece and nephew moved in a few days before Canada Day. It's been weird having them around. They loved the Canada Day parade but they've been quiet and they cry a lot, like sometimes Giulia (dad's fiancee) has to sleep with them both. I've tried to be their friend, let them play on my PlayStation, play poker or basketball with them. I think they like my girlfriend more than me though cause I think they think she's famous. But it's hard cause they don't know English (even though they've been seeing a tutor) and when we speak Italian, I honestly don't know what they're saying half the time cause of their accent and I understand nothing when they speak Sicilian. I did bring them up in therapy once but mom seemed kind of sad and I guess it's cause I don't really know her kids at all so I haven't since. As for therapy, my dad made Giulia promise not to let them go alone and he seemed really scared and acts so weird when they go. He's gotten into a few arguments about it with Giulia but she always shuts him down and one time she even called my grandparents. And he's been hugging me really tightly every time I go with my mom now or come back from it, has asked how much more I need to go and if I can stop soon and one time I think he was even crying when I came back but he tried to hide it from me. My mom told me to let her know if he says anything about stopping me again. I guess the big thing is, my mom's not going to be working first two weeks of August, so she was like, she can take me on a trip that's just us to Kelowna or Kamloops or wherever then. But it has to be in the first two weeks cause she needs to start preparing for school reopening after that. The problem is that my dad's fiancee is going back to Italy in the beginning of August for her stuff about her sister's will and she asked me if I wanted to come cause she's like she'll show me the University of Palermo and the University of Catania and I can meet with advisors and stuff and I'll get to see my grandparents. My mom got really sad when I told her about that, I feel like she wanted to cry and she said she really wanted me to stay so we could have one last vacation. Like she said it a lot in a lot of different ways this weekend and kept telling me her husband wouldn't come along. So I don't want to let her down but I also really want to see my grandparents. Wow, I wrote a lot more than I wanted to but I guess if anybody who comes here has any advice on if I should go with my mom or with Giulia, I'll take it. Post 6: Hey Everyone - November 20th, 2025 (nearly four years since the first post) So, I don't know how many people are still reading this, but it says that I have 44 messages in the chat icon, so that's something. The first thing I want to do is thank u/Dustyrose-930 – you gave me a lot of support in our DMs back when I was active here, and it meant a lot to me. I don't know if your account is still active, but I hope it is so you know that the talks we had really did help me. Now, the first thing I want to talk about is that there were some things which I lied about in my older posts because I guess I thought they made me seem cooler. Like at one point I wrote that I couldn't understand my stepmom's niece and nephew's accent when they spoke Italian. That was just not true and I don't know why I wrote that. I only had trouble when they spoke Sicilian. And reading those old posts, the thing that I see a lot is that I kept saying I don't speak at all to my mom's husband and pretty much implied that I just gave him the silent treatment whenever I was around him. That was a lie and was something I think I wrote because I thought it'd make me look like a badass or something. But it's just cringey looking back at it. The truth is, he's always been friendly to me, and I was always a dick to him because I hated him for taking my mom and having to be around him when I wanted to be with her. The only time he was ever actually mean to me was when he called me an asshole for giving my mom the book. If I'm being honest, I still kind of hate him but not like I used to and maybe I really only hate the part of him that I think of when I remember my parents getting divorce. I don't know, it's hard to explain. When I moved to Italy with my dad, I really started missing my mom and I kept blaming him like, I would have spent more time with her when I was in Canada if it weren't for him. But now, I try not to let it bother me because I know that kind of thinking is just going to make me angry with my mom and I'm so tired of that now. I'll never love him or respect him like I do my stepmother, but no matter how I feel about him, he loves my mom, he really does make her happy and she loves him too. Another thing is that I know I wrote about crying really badly a few times. But the truth is, I cried so much more than I wrote about, and I tried to avoid writing about whenever I did because I felt so embarrassed about it and hated myself for being honest about the times I did cry. Looking back, at most of those therapy sessions I went to with my mom or the hikes or when I told my mom I wanted to move to Italy or so many other things, something made me cry like a baby and I guess on here, I could reframe those things like I was calm and cool. And then another thing is that I wrote about not wanting to go on a vacation with my mom because I wanted to go check out universities in Italy with my stepmom instead. The truth is that I really wanted to go with my mom, and it's another thing where I don't even remember why I was writing like I didn't because I did go with her and it was one of the best trips I've ever had. My life has been good since I last posted. I have a plan for my future and I'm not angry and bitter and depressed anymore. My dad and my stepmom are officially married and he's the happiest that he's ever been with her. I love university, it's so much better than school and it honestly feels like this is the best thing ever at times. I'm still completely shit with Sicilian but everybody speaks Italian so it doesn't matter. The reason I felt like writing this and just getting all these thoughts out is that my mom and her husband had another baby in August, and I flew in like a day after my mom got back from the hospital, and I stayed with them until I had to go back. So pretty much last night in Canada, my girlfriend visited my mom. And yes, this is the same girlfriend I had back when I made all those posts. We've made it work somehow even though we're worlds away. She took a picture with my new baby sister and sent it, and I only saw it when I woke up like an hour and a half ago, but it reminded me of all this and I felt like writing about it. Reading that very first post back, I see how I mentioned so many times that the reason we stopped seeing each other beyond birthdays and at my games and events was because my sisters or her husband were always with her. It's funny because I know that at the time when I wrote that post that time seemed so much longer than it was. I didn't try to understand my mom and how hard it was for her to be away from my sisters with how small they were then. And it took her so long, maybe way too long to understand why I only wanted her but she did keep trying till she got it and I can appreciate that so much now. It's like the person I was who wrote that post expected perfection from my mom but wouldn't have been happy even if she gave it. I remember how guilty I felt for making my mom cry because of that stupid book and so many people on this website pointed it out to me too. I still feel a little bit guilty but I can forgive myself just like I can forgive her for not being as perfect as I'd expected back then. I guess what I want to say is that I wish I hadn't been so angry and sad back then and that I hadn't tried so hard to not enjoy time with my mom just because my stepfather and my sisters were there too. And I wish that I knew that having fun, even if he was involved, didn't mean that I was suddenly okay with what he did. And I wish that I saw all the times that my mom tried to be better after the divorce for me and try to make up for breaking up our family. And I wish that I knew that it was okay to be mad and act out because none of it was my fault and if I'd known that sooner then maybe I could have realized how I really wanted things to be sooner. Because I was really hurting myself by being so upset, and she could see it and that was hurting her. We have a way better relationship now, and I love spending time with her without giving any conditions because I really don't want to regret things anymore. When I move back to Canada to get my master's, I am going to stay with her because I want her to be in my life, eat her dinner again, watch TV shows with her again, and be a family. And I know that it'll be different and better this time because I actually want it to be. If there's any advice I can give, it's just if you can make up for whatever regrets you have, then just do it. And I guess the last thing I'll say is that I really fucking hated reading that book. If I could go back in time, then I would never give my mom the book, and I definitely think it'd be to scrub the memory of reading it out of my head. It was worse than the movie my girlfriend made me watch. Read Frankenstein instead if you can. tl;dr: OOP gifts his mother Anna Karenina because she left his father for her current husband. He goes through a lot of struggling with his feelings about her and his own future. Three years later, he's emotionally in a much better place and has a good relationship with his mother. submitted by /u/LostWorked to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My sister lets her three kids run wild with zero rules and they destroy every family gathering, so when I refused to buy them Christmas gifts this year she accused me of child abuse. My sister has three kids. Ages 8, 6, and 4. She doesn't believe in rules or boundaries because she read some parenting blog about "gentle parenting" and took it to mean never saying no to anything. The result is three kids who scream, hit, break things, and have never heard the word consequence in their lives. Every family event is a nightmare. Thanksgiving two years ago, the 8-year-old threw mashed potatoes at the wall because he didn't like them. My sister said, "He's expressing his feelings." Last Christmas, the 6-year-old opened everyone else's presents before they got there and my sister said she was "exploring her curiosity." This past Easter at my house, the 4-year-old poured juice all over my white couch on purpose. Just looked at me and dumped the entire cup. My sister laughed and said, "Kids will be kids." I told her she needed to clean it up. She said I was overreacting and left early. But the worst was my daughter's birthday party last month. My daughter just turned 7. Small party, maybe 10 kids. My sister's kids showed up and within 30 minutes had broken two toys, pushed three kids, and the oldest one grabbed a fistful of cake before we even sang happy birthday and smashed it into another kid's face. I pulled my sister aside and said her kids needed to leave. She said I was being dramatic, that they were just playing. I said no, they're being destructive and she refuses to parent them. She got loud, said I was attacking her parenting style and that I clearly didn't understand child development. I said I understood that her kids were ruining my daughter's party and they needed to go. She left crying. My daughter cried because her cousins left. The party was saved but the damage was done. Two weeks ago my mom asked what I was getting my sister's kids for Christmas. I said nothing. She asked why. I said because every time I give them something nice, they break it within a day and I'm done wasting money on kids who aren't taught to respect anything. My mom said that was harsh. I said it was honest. She told my sister. My sister called me screaming. Said I was punishing innocent children for her parenting, that I was being cruel and petty. I said I'm not punishing anyone, I'm just not spending $100+ on gifts that will be destroyed before New Year's. She said by excluding her kids I was making them feel less than their cousins. I said her kids don't notice or care because they get everything they want anyway. That's when she said I was committing "emotional abuse" against her children. That refusing to give them gifts while giving my other nieces and nephews gifts was psychological harm. I said that's insane. She said she'd talked to her therapist about it and her therapist agreed it was harmful. I told her to get a better therapist and hung up. Now she's posting all over social media about family members who discriminate against children and use gifts as manipulation. She hasn't named me but everyone knows. My mom is begging me to just buy them something small to keep the peace. My dad says I'm right but I should've handled it privately. My other siblings are split. But here's the thing. I'm still buying presents for everyone else. Her kids aren't being singled out because I hate them. They're being singled out because I refuse to buy things that will be immediately destroyed by kids whose mother won't teach them basic respect for property. My husband thinks I should've just bought them something cheap and avoided the drama. Some friends say I'm within my rights. Others say it's not the kids' fault their mom won't discipline them and I'm making a point at their expense. My sister sent a final text yesterday saying if I don't apologize and buy her kids proper Christmas gifts, she's not coming to any family events I'm at. My mom says that means she'll miss Christmas at my parents' house since I'm hosting this year. Part of me feels bad because they're just kids. But another part is so tired of watching them destroy things and having my sister act like I'm the problem for not accepting it. Should I just buy the gifts to keep the peace? Am I being cruel? AITAH? submitted by /u/KINOH1441728 to r/FoundandExpose [link] [comments]