Drawer Organizer Clothes

... Housewares division, along with Dustbusters, clothes irons, and the like, not... Workmate Stowaway Project Organizer 79-014, a plastic shelf/tray/drawer that fits...

... drawers let you neatly arrange clothes and essentials for a tidy... Flexible Functionality: Perfect for storing clothes, accessories, or displaying décor in... in the bedroom, a chic organizer for accessories, or a stylish... lb (45.4 kg); Each Drawer: 10 lb (4.5 kg...

...% packed. I have separate travel clothes and toiletries/drugs that just... inventories and unpack a few clothes that wouldn’t be needed. I... make a cruise drawer (in a mint colored Walmart organizer) to keep...

... shook the sand off his clothes. He walked forward into the... and sat down. Opening a drawer he took out a notebook ... as Andrew opened the utensils drawer, "Of course the cheating retard... tucked away underneath the plastic organizer before he grabbed a fork... corner dressed in dirty gray clothes. Unlikely buyer, he thought, probably...

... goal is to give the clothes I do wear some breathing... up so much drawer space. Donating an extra purse organizer. Then I went... my weaknesses, and some more clothes. But that means I have...

... you're awake. Couple sets of clothes in the drawers there, you.... She pulled open the bottom drawer, shifting the socks and underwear... the false bottom of the drawer, revealing the pistol concealed there ... pockets, and she shut the drawer before heading to the door. ... to me, you're the best organizer we've got; and hell, I'll ... Amaranth were only on her clothes. A moment later, the interior ...

... you're awake. Couple sets of clothes in the drawers there, you.... She pulled open the bottom drawer, shifting the socks and underwear... the false bottom of the drawer, revealing the pistol concealed there ... pockets, and she shut the drawer before heading to the door. ... to me, you're the best organizer we've got; and hell, I'll ... Amaranth were only on her clothes. A moment later, the interior ...

I've been re arranging, decluttering and cleaning my room for a bit now, Finally got around to folding and organizing my clothes, they weren't a mess or shoved away, but I didn't like how it was organized before (more happy now) however I want the ALEX drawer system from Ikea to have to have it all put away properly submitted by /u/Shoey_94 to r/Closet [link] [comments]

I find it hard to keep my clothes and kids' clothes folded in the drawer. It gets messy and when I fold the next load of laundry I just throw it on top of the mess instead of refolding everything. I'm wondering if most people's drawers is like this or do most people's drawers look like they do in movies? Edit: Sorry, not organized in the way of having a drawer for shirts, pants etc. Better wording would be "neat and tidy" drawers. submitted by /u/F-ckMyLife2019 to r/stupidquestions [link] [comments]

Came across this one on my local buy nothing app. The way my eyes continued to bug further out of my head reading this list… some of these asks are reasonable, but others are wild. submitted by /u/SrirachaMacNCheez to r/ChoosingBeggars [link] [comments]

now that my son is four months old, we don't always just wear pajamas or fruity pajamas. Every day I put him in some kind of bottoms, pants or shorts and then a bodysuit short sleeve or long sleeve. We also have a few rompers for those hot days we did have 80° the other day anyways I'm really stressing out about how to organize his clothes. I have ADHD and I'm very bad at organizing tonight. I tried something new. I put one bodysuit on top of a pair of pants and hopefully the one outfit solution will help right now we just have a closet where I put all his clothes on the shelves. We don't have a chest of drawers if that makes sense. I keep his socks downstairs by the door because when we're about to leave, I checked the temperature and see if he needs socks or not. I don't think I'd be able to organize putting on socks upstairs before checking the weather. I know this sounds crazy. Someone please help me lol can you send pictures of how you organize your baby boy clothes or describe how you organize them? submitted by /u/Huliganjetta1 to r/NewParents [link] [comments]

What Type of Dresser or Clothing Organizer should I put next to my bed to replace the 3 drawer plastic cart that I am temporarily using for organization and to place things on at night? i recently moved into a 480 sq ft apartment and my bedroom is super small as you can see. i don't have a walk in closet--just a metal rack I have to hang some of my clothes on. i don't want to add an oversized chest that will make my room feel cluttered. Also, one of my biggest issues has been trying to find a furniture website or place that DELIVERS AND ASSEMBLES furniture on the SAME DAY. I haven't been able to have much luck with Amazon or finding this through Wayfair. Does anyone have any suggestions for a vertical dresser that will help me organize my clothes better & does anyone have any suggestions for affordable furniture websites that deliver and assemble furniture on the same day? submitted by /u/Beginning-Zone9530 to r/FurnitureFaves [link] [comments]

i need to get this out somewhere because i can't say any of this out loud to a single person i know without wanting to disappear into the floor. i know you guys get it or at least i hope you do because right now i genuinely cannot tell if i'm a person with executive dysfunction or just a lazy disgusting human being who doesn't care enough and honestly some days the line between those two things is so thin i can't find it anymore and i think that's the part that's actually killing me from the inside so here's my life right now. i haven't had a single person inside my apartment in almost two years. not one. my mom keeps asking to visit and every week i make up something. my schedule is crazy. i'm getting over a cold. next weekend is better. because the real answer is that if she saw how i live she would cry and i am not ready for that conversation. my sister wanted to drop something off last tuesday and i stood behind my front door holding my breath until she left. i stood there. behind my own door. in my own home. hiding. like i'm squatting in someone else's life and i got caught. that's where we're at. and it's not like i don't SEE the mess. that's what nobody understands. i see it. i see ALL of it. every single day i see it. the dishes that have been in the sink for... ok i'm not even going to say how long because i'll delete this whole post. the laundry "situation" and i call it a situation because calling it a pile would imply there's ONE pile when there's actually a basket of clean clothes i washed two weeks ago and never folded because apparently the washing was the only step my brain could commit to, and then there's dirty clothes on the floor next to the basket, and at some point i genuinely lost track of which is which so now it's all just. clothes. everywhere. the floordrobe is thriving. my dining table hasn't been a dining table since january, it's a doom pile now. it started as one piece of mail and absorbed everything around it like a black hole. receipts, a water bottle, a charger for a phone i don't own anymore, three pens, a single sock that doesn't have a match. i walk past it every single day and my brain has literally stopped registering it exists. and then once in a while my eyes will refocus like i'm seeing it for the first time and the shame hits me in the chest so hard i feel physically sick. and what does my brain do with that information? does it go "ok let's deal with this"? no. it sits me down on the couch and hands me my phone and i doom scroll for two hours straight because apparently my nervous system's response to "your life is falling apart around you" is to seek the nearest source of dopamine that isn't the thing that's literally decomposing in my sink the WORST part. the part that makes me want to rip my own skin off. is that i'm not like this at work. at work? at work i am a completely different person. i clean. i organize. i manage tasks. i meet deadlines. i am so good at masking that my coworkers think i'm one of the most put together people on the team. i smile. i perform. i sweep the floors, i fold things, i keep everything spotless for eight straight hours. and then i drive home and i walk through my door and it's like someone pulled the plug out of the wall. there is nothing left. not low battery. NOTHING. my brain gave every single molecule of executive function it had to strangers between 9 and 5 and now the person who actually has to live in this body gets the empty husk. and i cannot explain this to anyone. i tried to explain it to my ex. he looked at me and said "but you literally organize shit all day at work, how can you not just do the dishes when you get home" and i wanted to scream because THAT'S EXACTLY WHY. that's the whole point. there's a finite amount of "do things" fuel and i spent it all performing for people who don't even know my middle name. but when you say that out loud it sounds like the most pathetic excuse in the world so you just stand there and take it. you just absorb the look. you know the look. not anger. worse. resignation. the look that says they've stopped expecting anything from you. he's my ex now. the apartment wasn't officially why we broke up but let's not pretend it didn't contribute. he never said it directly but i could feel it every time he walked in. the way his eyes would scan the room. the way he stopped sitting on my couch. the way he said "i just feel like if you really cared you'd figure it out" and that sentence lives in my head rent free because part of me, the part that has been hearing "why can't you just" since i was seven years old from every teacher and every parent and every friend, that part of me still believes he was right. that if i REALLY wanted it enough i'd push through. and the fact that i can't must mean something about who i am as a person. i know someone reading this is going to suggest a planner. please don't. i have a graveyard. and i mean a literal physical graveyard. there is a drawer in my desk with bullet journals that have three beautiful pages filled in and then nothing. a notion dashboard i spent an ENTIRE sunday building, color coded, with templates, with linked databases, with everything. i opened it twice. i downloaded tiimo. i downloaded finch. i tried habitica. i set up google calendar reminders that i learned to swipe away without reading in about four days. i am genuinely incredible at making the plan. i will build the most detailed, realistic, beautiful plan you've ever seen. i'll color code it. i'll buy the pens. i'll feel that rush of "this is it, this time it's going to work, this is the system that finally fixes me." and that feeling lasts about 72 hours and then the novelty dopamine wears off and the planner becomes another thing on the pile and now i don't just have a messy apartment, i have a messy apartment AND another piece of evidence that i can't stick with anything. ever. the planning IS the dopamine hit. i was never going to do the plan. i was role playing a person who follows through. cosplaying executive function for an afternoon. and here's the cycle that nobody warns you about because it sounds insane when you say it out loud. sometimes, randomly, usually at like 11pm on a tuesday for absolutely no reason, something will click. the paralysis will just lift. and i will clean like a woman possessed. i'll scrub the bathroom. i'll do every dish. i'll mop the floors. i'll go until my back hurts and my hands are raw and my knees ache from kneeling. and i'll stand there at 2am looking at my apartment and feel this tiny fragile beautiful moment of "oh god. this is what it could look like. this is what other people just HAVE every day without fighting for it." and i'll beg. i will literally beg my own brain. please keep it like this. please just do a little bit each day. just maintain. don't let it go back. and within 48 hours it's gone. always. without fail. and the crash after that is worse than if i'd never cleaned at all because now i have PROOF that i can do it. which means i choose not to. which means it's not executive dysfunction it's just me not caring enough. which means everyone who ever called me lazy was right. and that thought sends me straight to bed where i'll lie there rotting for the rest of the day scrolling through other people's clean apartments on tiktok and hating myself with a specificity and creativity that honestly, if i could channel into literally anything else, i'd probably be running a company by now. i read somewhere that NTs run most of their life on autopilot. like their brain just does things in the background. takes out the trash. starts the dishwasher. puts the clothes away. and we're over here hand cranking every single process manually. every task is a negotiation. every chore is a twenty minute argument between me and my own prefrontal cortex before my body will move. the exhaustion isn't from cleaning. it's from the war that happens before the cleaning. it's from the wall of awful between me and the sink that's so tall i can't even see over it anymore. i'm not depleted from doing too much. i'm depleted from the cost of TRYING to do anything at all. how the fuck do people have time for work and a social life and cooking and cleaning and showering and sleep? genuinely. because i can pick like two of those on any given day and the rest just doesn't happen and i have stopped pretending otherwise. i don't want a perfect home. i've mourned that fantasy already. i don't need the tiktok house. i just want to open my door when someone knocks. i want to stop flinching when my phone buzzes because it might be someone asking to come over. i want my chest to stop tightening every time i walk into my own kitchen. i want to stop measuring my worth as a human being by whether or not there are dishes in my sink. i want one single day where existing doesn't feel like a full time job. i don't really know what i'm looking for with this post. maybe just someone telling me they get it. that the gap between how hard i'm trying and how little i have to show for it is real. that i'm not making it up. that this isn't just what being lazy feels like. ⭐ for anyone who made it to the end of this mess. kind of like my apartment lol submitted by /u/Appropriate-Pea-8166 to r/adhdwomen [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is clothesindrawers. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole This was originally posted as a BORU here (in August 2020 by u/bestupdator) and here (June 2021 by u/almostselfrealised). As a side note- it's cool to see how BORU formatting has changed! Trigger Warnings: undiagnosed OCD; controlling behavior Mood Spoiler: hopeful ending Original Post: June 18, 2020 So I’ve always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive. I always expect their rooms to be clean, and I check their drawers/closets/storage bins to make sure they don’t just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean. The kids (16, 13, 9, and 6) are all responsible for putting away their laundry, and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes. Which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me, he rolls them up instead of properly folding them. Ever since the kids have been home and have more free time, I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes. I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers. I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago, that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized she would make a mess for them to organize the right way. I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us. I havent had to do this until yesterday, I walked into my 16 year old’s room while she was Facetiming her boyfriend, and saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded and out of curiosity, opened her drawers, and saw she has shoved her clothes in there. I started making a mess and she screamed “Mom why?” and I told her she knew why. After that I walked out of her room, she explained to her boyfriend what I did and he says “Your mom’s fucking crazy bruh” and I peek my head into her room, give her a look, and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying. I told my husband what happened, he told me “I knew said you were gonna do that but I didn’t know you would actually follow through.” This morning I woke up to a note on my daughter’s door saying “Until mom can get mental help, I’m staying with Aunt (my sister’s name)” I texted her, no response. I tried contacting my sister, who said she has no plans to return until I “get mental help and stop being such a controlling bitch” My husband, sister, and mom are all against me in this which hurts. I don’t think it harmed my daughter, it benefits her and helps her stay organized. Some of OOP's Comments: [Editor's note: all of OOP's comments are downvoted heavily] Deleted: YTA there’s better ways to teach your kids, maybe read up on techniques to properly do this. But also explain you want them to learn to be clean and organized versus being (and excuse me) b***chy, I feel this could have been approached better. Make amends ASAP and find better ways to get your point across. Otherwise your kids will learn to hate you and not want to talk to you. Again YTA OOP: However I don’t appreciate her telling her aunt I’m a bitch To a deleted commenter: Of course I want her to be independent but she needs to learn to follow directions no matter how silly she thinks they seem Jaycro123: [...] Second, do you really not see how embarrassing that is? I'm sure if your mom pulled that same shit in front of your friends or boyfriend at that age you'd be pissed [...] OOP: Well her boyfriend is like family to us and knows how I can be so she shouldn’t feel so embarrassed madman636: YTA take a look at yourself bc I doubt this is the only thing that made her leave. You most likely have a pattern of being controlling and This was just the last straw. The way you decided to act was more akin to a child than an adult. You made a mess bc you didn’t get your way. That’s moronic OOP: I didn’t make a mess because I didn’t get my way, I made a mess for her own benefit. And she’s normally very organized and clean and picks up after herself, so this was abnormal to see AppellofmyEye: YTA- your daughter’s bf is right. Get some therapy to figure out why it’s so important for you to control unimportant minutiae before it further damages your relationship with your family. OOP: I’ve never had any problems with my family other than this, me and my daughter usually have a great relationship Top Comment: Deleted: YTA You know who acts like this?? Marine Corps Drill Instructors. Why? To mentally f*** with recruits. This is not okay within the family unit. Its insane that you think it’s okay to control how your kids fold their clothes in their drawers. OOP is voted YTA almost unanimously Update Post: August 14, 2020 (almost 2 months later) Almost 2 months ago I made a post on here about me throwing my daughter’s clothes onto the drawer when they weren’t folded neatly. Well that post really blew up, people on Twitter also chimed in. Well the night I made the post, I was still in serious denial. I replied to some comments and my denial was perfectly clear for everyone to see. The day after I read some more comments and messages I received from everyone. I resorted to the guest room and cried for hours. I read some people tell me that their moms were similar to me and they no longer have relationships with them. That was truly my worst fear, I seriously love my kids more than anything on this planet even if my actions don’t always show it. I booked a virtual appointment with a phycologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and let me know she would help me. I have since had about 8 sessions with her and she has been a big help. Of course I still have a long way to go but I have been noticing some improvements already. As for my daughter, she stayed at my sister’s house and came home a few days later after I told her that there would be major improvements made in my behavior. I sat all the kids down and told them that I have the resources to not be such an overbearing asshole to them anymore. One thing I do want to address is the fact that I was usually controlling with my kids, but the incident I wrote about was the one that sent both me and my daughter over the edge. Me and her are on much better terms. I want to thank Reddit for waking me the hell up to become a better mom and wife. I also want to apologize to anyone who I brought back bad memories to. I want to have relationships with my children until we all grow old and I know so many of you guys don't have that, which breaks my heart but also hearing your stories gave me a big change of heart and are helping me fix my relationships and become a better person. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hello everyone. How are ya'll storing and organizing your Barbie clothes? Right now mine are in one of those soft bins that fit into cube organizers. They hold a lot of clothes but it's harder to find cute outfits to put together. I also have a few outfits in clear mini drawers from the Dollar Tree. I recently bought more Barbie clothes so I was thinking about organizing them by category like shirts in one bin, pants in another, etc. Also, are there any special bins or storage containers that ya'll recommend? If anyone has ideas for shoes, food, and other Barbie accessories that would be much appreciated. submitted by /u/Beetlejuice2020 to r/Barbie [link] [comments]

FTM My LO is four weeks, already outgrew newborn! Just wondering how everyone is storing/organizing baby clothes. We have been using drawers for normal outfits/sleepers but it’s been hard to see the actual size of everything. Does hanging everything up work or is that too much of a hassle with the amount of laundry? Just wondering how everyone else is doing it and what works for your families! I’d say we do laundry once or twice a week. submitted by /u/Cool-Profession6756 to r/beyondthebump [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/BonusWest5031 posting in r/AITAH Ongoing as per OOP 1 update - Medium Original - 23rd July 2025 Update1 - 30th July 2025 Update2 - 4th August 2025 New Update Update3 - 23rd October 2025 AITAH for not letting my ex-husband and one of his future step kids come inside? Our custody arrangement is for each of us to pick the kids up on our day during our two hour pickup window. He arrived at the house, and I already had the boys ready. I saw his car pull into the driveway on my camera, so the boys were already halfway to the door when my ex knocks. I open the door, and he is holding the hand of a four year old. He asks to come in and says his fiance's son needs to use the bathroom. I told him I don't want him to come inside, because I don't feel comfortable with him in my house. He has a history of snooping through my things. He asked me to take his future stepson to the bathroom, and I said I was uncomfortable with the situation. He said his stepson needed to pee. I suggested the McDonald's up the road. He said my bathroom would be way cleaner than a McDonald's. At this point my eleven year old started pestering his dad to stop so they could leave. My ex said "your brother needs to use the bathroom." My son said "I'll take him." My ex said "No, your mother would rather he pee his pants. We'll go, and hopefully we'll get to the McDonald's in time." My ex and the boys left. He messaged me afterwards saying I was cruel to a child to punish him and that's not okay. He said I made us both look bad in front of our kids and should be embarrassed of my actions. I have been fighting with him for so long my perspective is screwed up. Was I in the wrong? Comments Edcrfvh NTA. He wanted to snoop. This was obvious after he rejected your son's offer to take the kid to the bathroom. Sneaky isn't he. OOP: Always has been. He's an intelligent man. BadMom2Trans Ok, so I like to ask my husband these scenarios and get his 2 cents. He seems to think, because you have stated you’ve had multiple problems with the ex, that this was more about control. He wanted you to do what he said. Was the boy hurting and crying because he had to go? If not, my spouse thinks it was a power play by your ex. If it were me, I would have asked my son to take him and told the ex to go wait in his car, but if this douche just like to jerk you around then NTA. OOP: He was holding my ex's hand and kind of looking around. He didn't say anything. boundaries4546 Your son did actually offer to take the kid to the bathroom and your ex declined. Sounds like a power-play to me. You can remind that he is not welcome into your house unless it is life or limb, and he needs to organize himself properly before he arrives. **Judgement - NTA*\* Update - 7 days later I did talk to my lawyer about what happened. He said we can address it at the hearing we already have scheduled about the movie situation. I thought that was that, but of course it was my turn to pick up the kids today. When I arrived at my ex's place he opened the door very wide and invited me in. I was suspicious and said no thank you. He kept insisting I come in so we can show the kids we are civil, but I had a bad feeling. I said I would just wait in the car for the boys to come out. I got in my car and texted my older son that I was there. A short while later he texted me back saying his dad said they couldn't leave unless I got them. I went back to the door and knocked again. Again, my ex invited me inside. I said I didn't want to come in, and that was when my boys showed up. My ex's fiance was right behind them, telling them to come back upstairs. They ran to me, and we left. I don't know what his game is, but I'm not falling for it, whatever it is. Comments eternally_feral NTA. He was way too insistent for you to come in and then refusing to let your kids leave? No. Always follow your gut, especially when the spider is so persistent in inviting the fly into the parlour. Thecardinal74 What’s the movie situation? OOP: I had plans to take the boys to the movies, and he wanted me to not take them so he could take them during his custody time. I let them decide, and they wanted to go on opening day (my custody time). I took them. He's saying I shouldn't be able to take them to a movie he specifically told me not to take them to. I think that only applies when it's a movie he doesn't want them to see at all, not one he is okay with them seeing but merely wants to take them to himself. Capable-Contact6868 Yeah my ex tries to give me orders too. Newsflash, I'm not your husband anymore. I don't give a shit if she has spaghetti or pizza twice and neither would the courts. You being neurotic about it is a you problem. Nvrmnde He has no right to tell you what to do, and what the kids go to watch when you have them. He's no longer you husband. He doesn't own the kids either. Please consider only talking with him over app, and only about essential things for kids. It's not essential for him to know what movies you see with your own children. OOP: Our son told him we were going to watch the movie, not me. He was excited about it, so he told his dad. Tess408 I'm sure there is a good reason you left him, and not spending time with him was the desired outcome. OOP: You want to know something funny? Spending time with him was the best part. It was everything else that sucked. I had no privacy. He went through my phone and computer almost every night. If I asked to use my phone while he was going through it, I was hiding something. He would dig through the drawers looking for hidden stuff and mess everything up, and if I complained, he would do it again because there must have been something there if I was complaining. I had to account for every penny I spent, every moment I wasn't being productive. When we were doing things together he was so charming, funny and sweet. He's so handsome and smart and fit. But it got to the point where I was scared whenever he wasn't around because I couldn't trust myself to make decisions without his approval. I was becoming a shell of myself. Update - 5 days later Just concluded our hearing, and it went okay, all things considered. Judge said that neither of us need the permission of the other to take the children to age appropriate experiences like movies. He told ex not to tell me I can't take the kids to do certain things because he wants to do them. If he wants to do them, he can, but so can I. So that was a win. Judge was annoyed that there was another drop-off issue. He was especially annoyed because the reason he gave my ex a two hour window for drop-offs was because he said he needed the flexibility since he is a caretaker of his fiance's children. If he's taking them with him to drop-offs, why does he need two hours? Judge told him DO NOT take his fiance's children to my house, and DO NOT ask to come inside my house. He told me not to ask to go inside his house either. He also told me not to rush my ex and to be patient and allow the children time to come to the door. I wasn't rushing him, but I didn't say that to the judge. I just agreed. Ex also dropped the bombshell that the week of the wedding he needs me to pick the kids up from the resort the wedding is at instead of his house, because they are going on their honeymoon straight from the resort and not returning home. I am very uncomfortable with this, and my lawyer said that is too much of a burden to put on me. The judge disagreed with my lawyer and said we all have to be flexible sometimes. So I am stuck doing that. I feel like he intentionally started fights about the previous two issues he knew he would lose on so the judge would side with him on the final issue to make things "fair." Maybe I'm just paranoid. So two wins and a loss. Hopefully they'll be too happy about being married to pull any stunts. Comments DisneyBuckeye *I know it sucks that you have to drive to get them, but this is GREAT news about the rest! He has additional rules that stick forever, while you are only inconvenienced once. If you could only win on 2, I'm glad it was the 2 you got. OOP: You are correct. I feel good about that, even though I am incredibly stressed out. I am worried he is going to try to trick me into doing or saying something that can be perceived as hostile and tell the judge I sabotaged his wedding. rak1882 Organize to have a friend or family member who is good at making you see the ridiculousness of Ex- or keeping you calm come with you to pick up the kids from the wedding venue. The buddy system doesn't stop being a good idea when you turn 18. It's useful throughout our lives. Cosimia1964 Also have the friend record any interactions you have with anyone associated with him. Make sure to communicate with text as much as possible. Having dealt with an ex like him, it helps to think of all the ways he could push your buttons and how you can respond with grace and kindness. He is going to do what he can to make you look crazy in front of everyone, don't let him. However, keep in mind that it does not really matter what his family and friends think about you. I mean, how pathetic that you are even a consideration on his wedding day. What matters is that you have receipts and that you behave in a way that that is above reproach. Also that your kiddos see you acting with grace and kindness even when their dad is being an ass. Obviously, he will lie about the pick up time. He will want you to witness how beautiful the wedding is and how happy they are. Or, tell everyone how you crashed the wedding, and are being unreasonable about the time wanting to ruin their day. Lying about when they are leaving for the honeymoon. Either you will be late to pick up the kids, because you want to ruin everything for them, or they will be leaving way later than he says which he can spin in the same way. He may even lie to his family about you insisting on picking them up so that you can insert yourself into his wedding day. Bonus for him if he.can cost you time and money. Set yourself up for success. Your first concern is your kiddos well-being. Do think of it as an opportunity to take a mini break with a friend and then kiddos after the wedding. Maybe don't stay at the same place, but do stay near there so you can be flexible about picking them up without seeming to hover. Make sure you book it for two nights so that if he keeps putting off the pickup until late at night, you have a place near by without having to drive forever to get the kiddos to bed. Maybe even stay a third night so that you can spend the next day with the kiddos doing fun stuff in the area. Check with the hotel about the times of the wedding and reception to check against what her is telling you. See if there is a place where you can sit at a bar or in a garden so that you can wait things out in an out of the way place after he tries to switch things up or know what is in the area so you have something to do while waiting, but are near by. Be flexible, but only to a certain degree. For instance, if you find out his parents really wanted to keep the kiddos with them, let them, bring the extra clothes you brought for them. Tell them you were not informed, but think it is a wonderful opportunity for them to spend time with the grandkids. You know him better than anyone. Use that knowledge to stay a couple steps ahead. You don't want to hurt him, but you do need to protect yourself and your kiddos. OOP: That all sounds... I don't even know. It never occurred to me that he would lie about what time the wedding is. Even thinking about it is giving me a headache. ​ New Update ​ Update - 2.5 months later ​ Well, I thought I would update everyone on what happened when I picked my kids up from my ex-husband's wedding. First of all, I got there at 8:20. As soon as I arrived I texted my ex and my older son that I was there. Then I walked into the lobby. I checked my phone and had no response from either. I waited until 8:40 and then walked to the front desk. I said I was there to pick up my children and asked if maybe my ex had left a message at the desk for me. They knew nothing. I called my older son, and he didn't answer. I called my ex, and he didn't answer. At this point my anxiety was bad, and I felt sick. At nine I called my lawyer and his receptionist said he would call me back. I kept calling my older son, and he didn't answer. This was unusual for him. I was scared something had happened. I asked the front desk which room they were in, and they couldn't tell me, which I understood. At 9:20 I called the police. It took them a while to get there. When they arrived it was past ten, the pickup window. I was panicking. All I could think was that my ex was going to tell the judge I was late. When the police arrived they asked the front desk for my ex's room number. They told the police he had checked out! I didn't know what to think. They asked the front desk if they had kids with them when they left, and they said no. They said my kids were actually booked in a suite with her kids and his parents, and they had paid for late checkout. The officers told me to wait downstairs and went to the room. They came back with my kids and their stuff, and we left. My oldest said his grandfather took his phone away, and they stayed up late and had no alarm set. Both boys said their grandparents were furious when the cops showed up. My lawyer eventually called me back, and we scheduled another custody hearing for after the honeymoon. At the hearing my ex tried to put everything on me. He said he told me the kids would be with his parents (he didn't) and that I staged the whole thing to make him look bad. He also said me calling the police traumatized the kids. I showed the judge all of our communication. The judge even interviewed my kids, who said even they didn't know they would be with their grandparents until the prior evening, by which point my oldest's phone has already been confiscated. The judge gave me primary custody with visitation and said all pickups and drop offs will now be at neutral locations with a thirty minute window. He was done. He was pissed. My ex has filed to have our case transferred to another judge because this one is clearly biased against him. In the meantime though, the boys and I are happy and doing well. They're both getting great grades so far this year. ​ Comments ​ Horizontal_Bob Your ex is gonna learn a lesson about family court judges When you file to have a case transferred and the previous judge was competent and followed the law…and did what was best for the kids the next judge tends to get pissy that someone is attempting to skirt a legal ruling simply because they don’t like it Lost-and-dumbfound there's literally no justification for taking the phone away. i'm no judge but i would assume even if they do get it transferred the new one is also gonna see through that tactic as nothing but the ex using his children to fuck with her. llamadrama2021 Wow, your ex is really stupid. OOP: I think he thought I would mess up, make a scene, give up and drive away or something like that. llamadrama2021 No instead he just abandons his kids with strangers (to them). Isn't there something in your custody agreement that says if he can't watch them they should go to you? OOP: Their grandparents aren't strangers. They have a very close relationship. All the same, it was my custody time. They can and do visit their grandparents on his custody time. celticmusebooks Why was the grandfather allowed to confiscate his phone? When my niece and her husband divorced the kids having access to their phones at all times was actually hard baked into the custody agreement. The parents could limit actual screen time-- texting friends and playing games etc-- but could NOT take the phone away or prevent them from calling the other parent. OOP: My son said his grandfather told him he was being disruptive at the reception. My son is very well behaved, so I doubt this. Taking the phone was a "punishment". ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

So my MIL comes over every Sunday for dinner which is whatever but she's started rearranging my stuff while I'm cooking and its driving me insane. It started small like she'd move my salt and pepper to what she thought was a better spot or mess with how I had my coffee mugs arranged. I didn't say anything because complaining about that seemed pretty petty. But then last month she completely reorganized my spice cabinet while I was making dinner. She told me my system didn't make sense and alphabetical was obviously better. Took me forever to find anything after that because I had my own way of organizing things. Two weeks ago she folded all my laundry that was on the couch. Sounds nice right? Wrong. She put everything in completely wrong places. My husband's work shirts ended up in my drawer, mixed up all the kids clothes, and somehow my underwear ended up with the kitchen towels. This past Sunday I come out of the kitchen and find her reorganizing my bookshelf and throwing away what she called old magazines. Except they weren't magazines they were my recipe cards in magazine holders and some of them were handwritten ones from my grandmother who passed away. I asked her to please stop moving my things and explained about the recipe cards. She got all defensive saying she was just trying to help and my house needed organization. My husband sided with her and said I should appreciate that she cares enough to help clean. Now she won't talk to me and my husband thinks I was rude for not being grateful. submitted by /u/Heavy_Insect_319 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That is still Far-Cup9063. She posted in r/weddingdrama Previous BORU here. Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 and u/Glum_Computer1963 for letting me know about the update. New Update marked with ****\* Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: things are getting better, hopefully Original Post: December 28, 2024 Been married to my second husband for 27 years. He has two kids who I really like and get along with. One daughter has 4 daughters who are a bit spoiled. I made sure To give the grand-daughters nice presents for their graduation gifts and have always been the ”nice step-grandma who is pretty much ignored by the grandkids”. My husband does zero work on any gift giving or travel arranging when we have attended any of their events. That’s all left up to me. we attended the weddings of the first 2 grand-daughters, both of which were about 3 hours away. I arranged the trip, bought and wrapped the gifts and bought cards, we attended the event and I was again the “nice step-grandma who is pretty much ignored by the grandkids”. ‘About 4 months ago we received a “save the date” card, letting us know that the 3rd grand-daughter will be getting married in another country, in mid-2025. I have a passport but husband does not. I told him he will need to get a passport to attend this. He’s done nothing. A few weeks ago I asked if he really wanted to go to this, and he said yes. I reminded him that he would need a passport. So I went online to see what he needed to get that. One item was the date of divorce from his prior wife. He said he “wasn’t going to get into that”. I said okay and dropped the whole issue. I had been looking at airline flights and the tickets would have cost about $2,000 for both of us. The hotel would be another $1,000 (all inclusive Place). The invite for the wedding is taped to the front Of the fridge and I am not going to bring this up again. if he asks, I will let him know that if he actually gets off his butt and gets his passport I will make travel arrangements. EDIT: I forgot to mention that the wedding is on a Wednesday, which means we would have to fly out Tuesday, and fly back Thursday. I cannot believe she chose Wednesday for her wedding day. EDIT/UPDATE: hey thanks everyone for all the interesting comments! As you can tell, there’s more going on than just the wedding. I will be sure to post an update when he completely fails to do anything to go to the wedding, and therefore we don’t go. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: [...] Also... Idk what the laws are where you are lol, but you have seen proof he's divorced right? Because... Fine I have no idea what date my divorce went through, but I do have the printed out paperwork in my drawer, and I'd just look it up. This is some bizarre avoidance lol and it would give me the willies NGL. OOP: I know for a fact the divorce went through and I saw the paperwork years ago. I’m pretty sure it was final in 1996. But I don’t know the date. It was odd that he said it that way More on the divorce/proof (lots of commenters were fixated on that) and the passport work: I’m an attorney. I tried looking them up online but records that old (from 1996) aren’t usually available online. More than likely it is stored on microfiche at the district court where this was entered. This will require a trip to the courthouse, filling out forms to request the old documents, etc., etc. not difficult, but detailed and time-consuming. i’m just so tired of doing all this detailed time intensive bullshit for him all the time. I’m tired of spending my time on something I don’t even want to spend money on or go to. I’m going to do nothing, say nothing and let the date come and go. however, I will now probably go look for the records just to make SURE the divorce decree was entered. The kids: His kids are actually from wife #1 who passed away before I met any of them. His divorce was from wife #2. But I don’t understand why he will put no effort into finding the divorce date or working on the passport other than purée laziness. To another commenter: Actually, the kids hated wife #2. Yes, he’s lazy. His kids and their spouses are very nice to me. I had a step mother also, and am very careful not to try to be “mom” to them. I hated it when my step mom did this. I just want to be nice, friendly, and not get in their business. Isn’t that what a step mother should do? Same for the grandkids. Why they're still married: But that’s a much longer post . . . For those of you in your late 60s, long married, you understand that marriage to a flawed person is still better than being lonely. At least most of the time. Weighing the pros and cons, he still comes up on the pro side. (to another commenter) Yes, I do feel alone a great deal of the time. Being alone has never been a problem for me, but I still feel like being married to him. One more commenter: Ha ha! Yeah, I have a backbone but I also have a huge heart for my husband. I have no problem telling others to F off, and I’ve always been tough. I think this is the turning point where I am totally done making any arrangements to make things easier on him. Commenter: No reason why OP can’t go, she has her passport…..if it was me, I would go by myself and tell everyone exactly why I was unaccompanied. OOP: Oh the hell no. I’m definitely not going solo for a step-grand-daughter who probably won’t even acknowledge me. Commenter: If you continually feel ignored by them...stop giving!! It honestly sounds like a huge expense to attend for someone who treats you that way. OOP: yeah, I'm done. Now that I think about it, none of them ever reach out to me. When we go to visit his family they are always nice, but they have never independently reached out to me one time in all the time we have been married. Commenter: Maybe they don’t like your husband. He sounds kind of awful. Sorry. OOP: Heys, this is Reddit. I come here for the truth, not to have people be soft on me. ❤️ Mini Update in Comments December 30, 2024 (2 days later) Regarding her doing the work and also whether or not they will RSVP: Actually, one person commented about the RSVP and that we would have to advise them whether we were coming of not. Realizing that I had previously RSVPd, so I have now changed my position and will be contacting his daughter to advise her of the issue. That comment is buried somewhere in response to another comment. Yesterday was truly full of example after example of me having to do everything in this relationship, carrying 100% of the mental load and I was just done. But today is a new day and I am going to be a better human. Some more clarification: Commenter: I'm wondering what the appeal was here. He's lazy and can't be bothered to do fuck-all regarding his own kids and grandkids? It sounds like he using weaponized incompetence to get you to do everything. Why would a smart, accomplished professional woman put up with his bullshit for 27 years? He can't possibly be that good in bed. OOP: Because it wasn’t always this lopsided. After his cancer diagnosis in 2018, then chemo, stem cell transplant, resulting neuropathy and depression, he became more dependent. He’s somewhat better now but we both fell into the “me doing everything” pattern. For the last few years I’ve been trying to break that, especially with tasks that are not physical (require mental effort). Commenter: Wow that's..... a lot of left out information. OOP: yes. For the last year or so I have been trying to get the workload more balanced, especially with just mental tasks. It’s SO difficult once one partner has basically shouldered the whole load. i’m starting to think That even though he said he wanted to to go the wedding, that inside, he really doesn;t. Therefore he;s going to use the passport excuse for why we won’t go. Fine by me. Update Post: January 14, 2025 (17 days from OG post) To all of you who commented before, thanks. This is the update and I know I’m setting myself up to get knocked about, but this is Reddit after all. I saw the divorce decree from his prior wife, so he is indeed divorced and he and I are legally married. Since that post, I have told him he needs to engage in the cleaning and taking care of things around the house. He Is now responsible for one bathroom and I’m responsible for the other. He actually pointed out a “cleaning method” to me and I said, “great, do whatever you like.” He has been frustrated by the new order around here and continues to do as little as possible. I have tried to remain cheerful and positive. His daughter called to confirm we are coming. He said “of course” and later asked me “we are going, right?” I said when you get your passport I will make the reservations. He looked dumbstruck. I told him the application has been sitting (right where I told him) and he denied ever hearing me say that. He started working on the application, then asked me if He had a birth certificate. I told him “I assume so, because you were born.” He asked where it was and I told him I have no idea, figure it out. He was getting frustrated. I went and fetched it from the files, and angrily told him here it is and you can take care of this from now on. Yes, I spoke angrily. Yes I slammed it down on the table. He flipped out and threw a plastic bottle of salad dressing into the kitchen and it broke and splattered all over the cabinets. Like the mature adults we are, the rest of the day was spent in silence. I went into my office, and he was again glued to the damn political news on the tv, just like he has been for years. He eventually cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. I refuse to cook for him, will not do any of his laundry. I had just changed the sheets on the bed and I bet they are there this time next year. I have taken up residence in the extra bedroom and my office, which are on one side of the house. I’m not sure what will come of this, but I wish the divorce from his prior wife had never been finalized. I would now be free. Financially, we are kind of stuck together but I will work toward getting unstuck. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: UpdateMe about if he gets it together in time to get his passport. I think someone mentioned in your previous post something about maybe telling the bride that he hasn’t gotten his passport. If you’re on decent terms with her, you might want to mention it to her anyway. If you don’t tell her now and he doesn’t get to go, he’s going to tell her that you never told him, just like he denied you saying you’d told him before. If nothing else, her getting on him might jumpstart him more than anything you do. (Other than that though, I wouldn’t do anything.) Good luck! Enjoy your trip with or without him. OOP: The bride has been informed of the situation, because his daughter texted me later and I filled her in about the actual obstacle. She and I are on great terms (love her) and I told her no matter what happens, I will get the bride a beautiful gift. [editor's note: to prevent confusion, remember it is the grand-daughter getting married, not the daughter. OOP is close to the daughter, who is the bride's mom] Commenter: By the sound of it he never learned to do shit at home… Ask him if he wants to learn before he is on his own. It might not safe your marriage. But you would safe a live even if it’s the next woman after you. OOP: Ha ha! He’s beyond saving, and if some lady wants to pick him up later, she’s on her own. I raised my child to be responsible and to be a partner in marriage (it worked). Commenter: Seems you married a man child. I hope he decides to grow up, but the chances are slim. OOP: I did. Not sure what the future holds. Thankfully I have learned not to let it distress me too terribly. I have my friends and my work (source of good income). Commenter; Nothing sexier than a man who throws a salad dressing bottle when asked to complete a grown up task OOP: Yeaahhh. To his credit, he wasn’t aiming at me. I admit I have thrown things in anger and frustration before. At least it was the Ranch dressing, which I don’t eat anyway. Commenter: Congrats on your being very organized and thorough with this unfortunate debacle. [...] am I correct in classifying MAGA rage to him? OOP: He’s on the other side. He’s been massively depressed since the election LOL. I don’t give two shits about politics, other than to vote. Commenter: [...] Also, instead of getting things like his birth certificate for him, if he doesn’t know, by now, that important documents are stored in a file cabinet, either he’s actually truly stupid or you married someone with disability. And the way to find out is to ask him! So, after living with me for 20 years, is it because you’re mentally deficient that you don’t know where important documents are, or are you just stupid? I mean, you’re not gonna solve any problems that way, but it sure as hell is gonna feel good and get the point across. OOP: Oh, mentally I say a lot of stuff that would only serve to escalate the problem. Years ago, I moved a small 2 drawer filing cabinet into our walk-in closet and told him that one is his, and his birth certificate is in there. IT’S THE ONLY THING IN THERE. You literally open the drawer and there is one Manila folder with his birth certificate. he does have ADHD and prefers not to do anything that requires organization and attention to detail, but that doesn’t mean he can’t! He can, but I have filled that gap for him so long he has become accustomed to it. Well, that has all changed and he is not handling it well. Commenter: You, have so much resentment. You need some counseling to work your way through this and maybe need to try couple’s counseling. Sadly, you’ve enabled him for years, and he didn’t know you resented him for it. This isn’t to blame you, but to point out a lack of communication. OOP: confess this is true. Honestly I didn't realize how much until I almost slammed that birth certificate on the table. I need to work on changing the situation and letting go of resentment. Holding on to that does no good. OOP explains: Well my prior post was pretty much the start of my "wake up call" when I wondered "why am I jumping through hoops doing all the work for his passport, when he's sitting over there cackling at the tv??" I already have a passport. He's a grown man, and even though I'm better at paperwork he's still fully capable of doing this. As usual, weddings just fan the flames of the usual relationship issues. *****Update Post 2: January 22, 2025 (8 days later, 3.5 weeks from OG post)****\* Title: UPDATE: Destination Wedding and passport; SUCCESS! Again, I want to thank all of you who posted helpful comments. They really helped me work through these issues and we have made positive progress on so many fronts! He obtained all the necessary information for the passport application and COMPLETED IT! He did ask for my assistance setting up an appointment at the post office to have his picture taken and submit his application (it had to be done online, and doing anything through their Website is wonky). We are going to the post office this morning. We’ve also had some polite, mature discussions about him doing his laundry (which he has done) and that we need to equally share the workload of the house. He had to do the grocery shopping by himself last Week because I refused to go. He managed to wash a load of whites (even used bleach!) without destroying any clothes. He has been doing the dishes, and made “loaded nachos” for us this weekend. Granted it’s still not 50/50 (yet) but I Believe we will get there! SO, as soon as i’m done with this update, I’m going to make our resort and plane reservations!! Looks like it’s a go!! I am going to text his daughter that it looks like we will actually be able to go and celebrate with everyone! Some of OOP's Comments: Tiny_Cauliflower_618: Good lord this is quite the redemption arc! I'm so happy for you 😁 Well done! Hope you can make sure this new start keeps rolling for the future, and you have a fabulous time at the wedding 😁 OOP: Hi cauliflower, the path to redemption is bumpy for sure. ”Pleasant, persistent patience” is my best tool to effect long lasting change. That is, when I’m not so pissed I forget to use it. Decent-Friend7996: Damn the bar is on the floor. OOP: The bar is now at least 6" off the floor! It will be raised. Yes, I share some blame for letting the situation get to this point and I am trying to remedy this. bananathehannahh: I do not know the backstory and thought (hoped) you were talking about an elderly/sick family member or a teenager OOP: LOL I wish I was! It's my "husband with narcissistic tendencies who has mastered weaponized incompetence, living with the enabling wife (me)". How's that for a description? And yet, this situation can be changed and can improve. A few hours later: Comfortable-Cup-6318: YES! 🙌 This is a great update. Didn't you, or someone else in the comments, mention previously an ADHD possibility? This tracks. It's a very common trait to put everything off until the last minute, then scramble. We work best under pressure, which is the most effective motivator. However, it is absolutely not an excuse to avoid responsibilities. I'm just trying to shed some light on what may be going on in his brain. It's possible that he truly wasn't trying to be obstinate and wait you out until you cave. I agree with others that he will backslide, but it sounds like you have the patience (of Job, tbh!) to help him get to where he needs to be. OOP: Oh yes, ADHD is definitely part of this, although he can do better than he has. We just got back from the Post office and his application is now officially submitted. We have definitely progressed regarding: 1) personal responsibility, 2) sharing the load of work at home, and 3) having a "mature" discussion of these issues. Now we just have to sustain this progress. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/reldisposable918 Fight with my [29M] gf [28F] over last name, reconsidering relationship TRIGGER WARNING: misogyny, sexism, abuse Original Post Aug 27, 2019 Me: 29M Wendy: 28F Been dating for three years, living together for one. We've been serious and exclusive for two years, and last week we started discussing marriage. Couching it in terms of speaking hypothetically, things like that. For the most part, things seem great. We both want kids, we have compatible career goals, we want to do the same things in life, we have compatible religious views, etc. But last night, I asked my gf if she's comfortable being 'Mrs. [my last name]' and she laughed and said I don't need to worry about that because she's never taking my name. I asked her if she was serious, and she said that changing her last name at all would jeopardize her career and even if it wouldn't she wouldn't take my particular last name even in hyphenated form. Then she added that she wouldn't let any kids of ours take my last name, either. Now, I have what most people would consider to be a very silly last name. Even offensive in certain company, as it prominently includes a very common nickname for a sex organ. I got bullied relentlessly for my last name growing up, and even now people tend to do double-takes when they hear it - when I first met my gf, she said she had thought my last name was me joking around. But it's my name, I'm my family's only child, and these days to me it's a funny joke to laugh about with the guys at work. And my long-time girlfriend told me that she wouldn't let any child of hers have my last name because they'd get teased and bullied over it. To me, it's just the latest in a long string of incidents since moving in together that makes me think Wendy doesn't respect me. I make a lot more money than she does, so when I see a cute dress or piece of jewelry, I like to buy it and surprise her with it. She liked it when we were just dating, but now she keeps telling me that it's not her style or she isn't comfortable with me spending so much money on her. She never wears it, either, her social media is filled with her in her work clothes or in jeans and tank tops. Wendy also used to be super flirty before we moved in together, sending me dirty emails and nude or almost-nude photos on a regular basis and inviting me to do the same. She doesn't do that anymore, and the last time she put on fancy lingerie that wasn't me specifically asking for it was on my birthday a few months ago. I think Wendy doesn't get how important this is to me - I want her to be my wife, not just the woman I live with, and we've been kind of distant with each other since the argument. We only had sex once since then, and even that felt like she was just going through the motions because she knew I was horny. Is there a way I can get her to compromise with me on this? I really want my wife and kids to have my last name, not just be the woman I happen to be married to who happened to pop out kids who are related to me. Or should I sever now while I'm still young if she's not going to budge? tldr: Talking marriage with gf, gf refuses to take my last name and generally isn't taking me seriously, not sure where to take the relationship from here TOP COMMENTS sleepfight Just because you make more money than her and buy her stuff doesn't mean that she has to take your last name. It's not really about respect, IMO-- a name is a very important thing to a lot of people. It's her right not to want to take it when you get married, and if it's really that important to you, maybe she's not the right girl for you? I want her to be my wife, not just the woman I live with Wearing baubles that you buy for her and taking your last name isn't the difference between a woman and a wife. ~ grandelone There are a lot of chauvinistic/misogynistic undertones to your post. You want her to take your last name. You want her to wear lingerie for you. You want to take care of her. "I want her to be my wife, not just the woman I live with" I don't think her view of what a "wife" is lines up with yours. And well it shouldn't since it's not 1950 anymore ... How do I [29M] end my relationship with my gf [28F] gracefully? - rareddit Sept 13, 2019 Me: 29M Wendy: 28F Been dating for three years, living together for one. A few weeks ago, I made a thread about a fight I was having with my gf. At the time, I didn't listen to the people calling me an asshole. Instead, I listened to the guys at work who said the cause of my fights and coldness with Wendy was that Wendy was probably cheating on me. Wendy's used my computer a couple of times to check her email, and saved her login info. I'd never been tempted to use it to look at her email, but last week I decided that the guys were probably right, and snooped on Wendy's email to see if she was cheating on me. This was a shitty thing of me to do, I know that. I found several long email conversations between Wendy and her friends and family. She complained about me, and said she was thinking about cheating, but wanted to stay with me until the time came to renew the lease on our apartment at which point she'd leave. She was afraid I'd do "something bad" if she just broke up with me. To be honest, I almost shut down the computer then and there to sever with her on the spot. But then I kept reading. Wendy was telling her friends and family that she was legitimately afraid of me, that I was super controlling and she wasn't sure if I was being abusive by constantly buying her expensive things then acting like she owed me something in return. She said it was charming but a little overwhelming even when we were just dating, but that I changed and drastically escalated when she moved in with me. Wendy, being scared of me? Calling me controlling and maybe abusive? Something about that thought stuck with me when I went in to work the next day, and listened to how the guys talk about their wives and girlfriends. And I realized something. They don't talk about women like they're people. Every time I've been to a dinner or other event with work, the women everyone brings are either the most inane, shallow Real Housewives I've ever met, or look like they want to kill everyone at the table followed by themselves. Then I realized that that was how my dad treated my mom, too. Constantly bought her super expensive things, and she'd make dinner or put on super nice things for sex (yeah I found my mom's lingerie drawer when I was a teenager). My dad said he was just buying things to be nice, but it was more like a transaction. And the guys at work do the same thing. And I was doing the same thing. I felt sick to my stomach when I realized all of that. I guess it's guilt, or just not wanting to be like my dad. And realizing that the guys at work are assholes. I didn't want Wendy to be scared of me, but I guess I never really thought about how she saw what I was doing. And it's made me realize that I've been a fuckup and an asshole to women in general, not just Wendy. I don't want one of those vacuous bimbo trophy wives some of the guys at work have, and I don't want to turn someone into that. Even Wendy asked me what's wrong when I started feeling sick every time I've seen her this week. I'm not going to salvage this relationship, I know that. I guess my question is, should I tell her what I've realized and why? Should I tell her I've realized what an asshole I've been but not tell her why? Or should I just let her leave when the lease comes up for expiration and leave it at that? I hate myself. I really do. But I have to do what's right for Wendy, and maybe look into some kind of counseling if there is such a thing for stuff like this. And I need different, better friends at work. tldr: Realized I've been a controlling, borderline abusive asshole to my gf and want to let things end, but not sure how to go about it. TOP COMMENT BigAlChet Tell her. I would absolutely want to hear this if I were her. I'd be careful how you go about it though. Little things to think about. Listen to her. Don't interrupt her when she talks. Sit down when having the conversation, make sure she has plenty of space (also, I'd not block the door). I really think having this conversation with her would mean a lot to her, and could be a good experience for you as well. I commend you for realizing that you haven't been the best version of yourself. Self deception is a real danger for all of us, but we can always make ourselves better. You got this. ~ grumbo87 Congratulations on figuring these things out about yourself. Do everything you can to make this moment of clarity the new normal for you. You should tell Wendy while making it very clear that you aren't initiating a "I've realized my mistakes, let's stay together" sort of a situation. Keep the break clean by taking ownership of your actions, openly communicating your intention with this conversation, and getting out of each other's hair as soon as you can. Don't let there be any room for relapses. It takes a lot of consistent, hard work to dismantle learned behaviors. You've got this! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

washing and putting my laundry away is an arduous chore for me, but the process has been simpler since purchasing some laundry bags. I use one bag for my socks and one bag for my underwear. I keep the bags next to my laundry basket and just put my dirty clothes in their respective place at the end of each day. This has relieved the mental load of doing laundry tremendously. Now, when washed, I only immediately need to worry about folding a few pants, shirts, and sweatshirts (approximately 10-15 pieces of large garments). Instead of also needing to pick apart, organize, fold, match, and put away an additional 28 pieces of small garments (2x underwear per day, 1x sock pair per day = 28 pieces per week), these are already organized and kept separate to deal with when I am ready. Then, when I have the mental energy to do so, matching and putting my socks together is a breeze, and I can just dump my clean underwear into a drawer! Put simply, separating those pesky little garments in the beginning of the laundry process allows you to break up the task of "doing laundry" into smaller, more manageable tasks, that may help to make the process easier to start, more efficient, and overall more successful for you!!! What other tips do you have for a girl who hates laundry!!! submitted by /u/poopbuttmcfarts to r/LifeProTips [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/whitethunder9 My daughter's friend (both 12y/o) stole her expensive pants - not sure how to handle the situation TRIGGER WARNING: gaslighting Original Post Sept 26, 2024 Background We have been family friends with the Smiths* for about 4 years now. We have kids at ages that mesh up perfectly, so it's always a good time when we get together. They're great people that we trust. They have a daughter we'll call Carol and we have one we'll call Laura, both 12 years old. Laura is a bit shy but the kind of girl who opens up and has a great time with a best friend, which Carol is. Laura is also very organized and clean. She knows where all her stuff is and it's exceptionally rare that she misplaces anything. The Incident A few weeks ago, we had Carol over to swim with Laura in our pool. Before they went in the pool, Carol and Laura were in Laura's room. At some point, Carol started looking in Laura's dresser, apparently just browsing. Laura was a little weirded out by this but didn't think too much of it. Carol at one point says, "Wow, these are nice lululemon pants!" Laura had gotten them about a week prior as a special going back to school/birthday gift, and they cost about $100. She was very excited about them. So they talked about them briefly, then Carol put them back. The girls then went out and swam for a while, then came back inside and changed. Carol left her bag in Laura's room while they hung out for another hour or so. When it was time to go, Carol went and got her bag from Laura's room. The next day, Laura was absolutely freaking out before school because she couldn't find her pants. She looked in every drawer, looked in her sister's drawers, looked through her dirty clothes, the laundry room - everywhere. The pants were nowhere to be found. We certainly didn't want to assume the worst of Carol, but somewhat related, Laura did mention that Carol was wearing a different friend's crocs which she said she had "borrowed" from said friend. So my wife and I decided my wife would call Carol's mom and do the old benefit-of-the-doubt conversation, asking gently if maybe Carol had mixed up Laura's pants with her stuff. Carol's mom said she asked Carol about it but Carol said she didn't have the pants. So we went back to a theory of they were misplaced. But several weeks passed and we still didn't see them. Again, very unlike Laura for something like this to happen. The Awkward Yesterday at school, Laura sees Carol wearing what suspiciously looks like her lululemon pants. She notices the logo on them on the lower back, the pocketless design that her pants had, the same color, etc. She's pretty sure they're hers, especially considering the implication in Carol's first reaction to them that she herself didn't have pants like that. She asked Carol about the pants, mentioning they looked a lot like hers. Carol seemed uncomfortable and it seemed like she was trying to hide the logo on them. At one point, Carol lagged behind the group of friends they were in and it seemed like she was trying to fold the top of the pants down so the logo was less visible. Laura had previously told another friend named Sarah about this incident, so Sarah was on close watch at this point too. Later in the day, Carol, Laura, and Sarah were in class together and Sarah observed that the logo had been cut out of the pants, which was definitely done since they had seen her hours earlier. Laura had a look and saw the same thing. My wife and I discussed it at length and decided that even if this creates an awkward wedge between our families, we will call again and mention what Laura witnessed. So my wife calls Carol's mom, who at the time was in the middle of a school-related event, so when my wife explained the situation, the response was, "Huh, ok, I will check later tonight and get back to you." It seemed a little more casual than she expected. Today at school, Carol seemed the same as usual, like nothing had happened. No mention of the pants, no mention of her mother talking to her about it, nothing. Laura, being the non-confrontational person she is, didn't say anything about it either. We have not heard from Carol's mother either and it has been over 24 hours. Now What? So now we're not totally sure what to do. Do we wait another day or two? Do we call a 3rd time and up the rhetoric a bit? My wife hasn't used the word "stolen" yet but that's only because we thought the hint so to speak was obvious enough that she would at least tell Carol, "You need to give those back." Do we just let it go at this point and cut our losses? We had already set up a date to have their family over this Friday for dinner, so now we're kind of dreading that, because if we don't say something between now and then and they don't say anything to us, we're going to have that in the back of our minds the whole time and not be super thrilled about it. Not to mention, we can't trust Carol in our house because who knows what she has her eyes on next? What's the best thing to do here? TL;DR My daughter's friend stole her expensive pants, wore them to school, and cut the logo out of them to try and hide the evidence. We've called the friend's mom about it but haven't heard back. Not sure what to do next. \ Names of everyone changed) RELEVANT COMMENTS one_bean_hahahaha You know what happened. Your daughter knows what happened. However, unless you can prove it or Carol confesses, you are not likely to get them or the replacement cost back. And would you want them back if she's cut the logo out and damaged the pants? So, moving forward, Carol is no longer welcome in your home. This might mean meeting your friends elsewhere, but most likely, this is going to harm that friendship. Even if Carol and her mom swear up and down she didn't steal the pants, you know she did. It is a good lesson for Laura that she doesn't have to put up with abuse from friends. OOP Thanks for your thoughts. I think you're right. We can be civil with them and meet up places but no way is Carol entering our house again if she's willing to do that. We're using it as an opportunity to teach our daughter a life lesson, it just sucks that this is how it happened and at this young an age. Update Sept 29, 2024 Original post here. TL;DR: My 12y/o daughter's friend stole her lululemon pants from her after rummaging through her dresser drawers in front of her. Then she wore them to school where my daughter could see. When my daughter called her out, the girl cut the lululemon logo off in hopes of hiding the evidence. We told her mom who seemed to be putting minimal effort into resolving the situation. Three Days Later As I mentioned in my original post, we planned to have the Smiths over this past Friday night for dinner. This was just coincidental - the date was set up like a month in advance and a week or so prior to the pants disappearing. It was on a Tuesday that my wife called Carol's (the thief) mom to tell her my daughter Laura saw Carol wearing her pants at school. [Side note: I thought she cut the logo off the waist portion of the pants to "hide the evidence". Apparently it was cut off the calf as well, so it was plainly obvious that there was a fucking HOLE in the pants that you could see her leg through. So there's no way Laura made a mistake in seeing what she saw.] Carol's mom made no mention of this all the way until Friday, when the family was over for dinner and she and my wife were alone chatting. The conversation went something like this: Carol's Mom: So the pants... I asked Carol about them again and she said she hasn't seen them. I went through her drawers and couldn't find them. I know when stuff gets lost at my house, it's usually in a sibling's drawer. My wife: I get that, we checked every drawer in the house at this point. They're nowhere to be found. Carol's mom: Did you check under the couch? We find all kinds of things there at our house. [Yes, she really implied that the pants were UNDER THE FUCKING COUCH.] My wife, somewhat bewildered: Mmmm, no, pretty sure they're not there. Carol's mom: Huh, so weird that they're just gone. It was a bit more lengthy of a conversation than that but that was the gist of it. So at this point, my wife is just trying to process real-time what's going on, which is harder to do than you might think, especially when the whole family is over and having fun and you don't want to make a scene. So she basically just dropped it at that point. My wife and I talked about this for a LONG time that night. In the interest of brevity, here are the conclusions we came to: Carol's mom is not taking this nearly as seriously as she should. Not just because we're out a $100 pair of pants, but because her daughter is clearly a thief and a liar and she doesn't want to acknowledge that. ​ Carol and her mom have insufficient respect for the property of others. ​ Carol is never invited to our house again. That means the Smiths can't come over all together again because Carol would be included. ​ The Smiths might not be in our lives anymore. We are still trying to feel this one out since their son is in our son's class and we love him and have had no issues with him. But it will be hard to have him over without this incident stewing in our minds, so we still need to give that some time. ​ For now at least, we're calling this case closed. I know some of you are effectively screaming at me, "JUSTICE MUST BE SERVED!!!" And you may be right. That might be the best thing to confront the issue again and get Carol's mom to cut us out of their lives OR actually do something about this. But considering the amount of effort we (mostly my wife) have put into it thus far, and the amount of additional bad blood it could create to really dig into this, we just have no desire to take it any further. We talked it over at length with our daughter Laura as well. We told her that she doesn't have to cut Carol off as a friend, but she has to act under the assumption that Laura (ed note: pretty sure OOP meant "Carol" here) will steal from her, given the opportunity. And that mistrust is going to be a problem in maintaining the friendship. She was totally understanding and in agreement, but said she didn't want to cut Carol out of her life. She eats lunch with her in the same group of 4-5 friends basically every day at school, so it's not exactly an easy thing to do without a lot of drama. We also took Laura to lululemon this weekend and bought her the same pants again. We told the clerk there about the situation and you should have seen the look on her face. Probably looked like what you're feeling as you read this - some mixture of disbelief and rage. It just really really sucks to learn this about a friend - that they're like this and don't share what should be obvious values. My wife has vented this situation to 2 other moms and both were just absolutely appalled. She feels bad about essentially gossiping about the Smiths but it has been dominating our thoughts all week, and having someone validate that we aren't the crazies was really good for my wife. So now we're sort of at peace with it and letting it go. So, Reddit, what say you? Did we make the right call? I appreciate the huge amount of input I got on my last post. I wish I could have responded to more of you but the post was locked before I could (presumably due to popularity). RELEVANT COMMENTS putoelquelolea There is no drama like adolescent girl drama. I know this pisses you off and you want to defend your daughter, but try not to get too invested in it. There will be a hundred more dramas unfolding in your daughter's life over the next few years OOP Well said. It’s a choose your battles situation and we are focusing on the life lesson our daughter learns here. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Every so often a post comes around asking for advice on how to store barbie clothes and accessories. I've got a lot of all that, and I've tried a couple of different solutions over the years, but this is where I'm currently at, and I'm very happy with the arrangement! I keep my Barbie clothes sorted in categories like: coats, jackets, long sleeved shirts, T-shirts, tank tops, skirts, long dresses, short dresses, pants, shorts, socks, and misc. I also sort these between what fits curvy (which is 3/4 of my collection) and what doesn't. Each category goes in a zippered pouch and then into the storage bin shown. As for full outfits, in most cases I just separate the pieces, but I do have a pouch with a few more costume-like outfits that I like to keep together. I've been considering making a pouch for keeping some of my own favorite styles intact, but then again I feel like it would probably just limit my creativity. So far I've just been taking pictures of the outfits I really like, so I can recreate them. That seems like the best of both worlds for me. It really comes down to how you like to dress your dolls. Restyling and mixing/matching pieces is half the fun for me! Shoes, purses, jewelry and other accessories I keep sorted in drawers. Bags and purses are sorted by color. Jewelry pieces are sorted into earrings, necklaces, bracelets etc. And then into pouches (I use the ones that the fashion packs come in) or little organizers. Shoes are sorted into two categories: the ones that fit curvy and the ones that don't. And then shoes separate from boots. I could probably stand to sort them a little better, but honestly it works, so I haven't bothered 🤷 Please excuse the mess on top of my drawers. That's all misc. accessories I haven't taken the time to sort yet. I'm still kinda recovering from moving out from my ex husband's house, and finding little things here and there 😅 I hope this is helpful! submitted by /u/SirupyTuna to r/Barbie [link] [comments]

My wife and I split laundry work in that I bring it down to the basement, load it in and change it over before bringing it back upstairs and my wife puts the clothes away when they're done because she has a certain way she likes to fold and put clothes away. Which to me, is a fine division of labor and effort in housekeeping. The way she puts clothes away though has very little to do with clothes being accessible or organized by type and more about putting them in order so that every piece of clothing has a chance to be worn. Clothes that are in drawers get rotated into the closet (a TINY closet in our NYC apartment) and then new clean clothes go into the drawers to await being put back into rotation. There isn't any organization beyond this, our clothes get mixed into drawers seemingly at random. Pajamas with dress shirts, sweatpants in the same place as sleeveless tees. So, clearly the order is the important factor to her and not being able to find or access clothes you want to wear, so I'm forced to look through everything to find an outfit you want to wear. Though to her, I should be only choosing what to wear out of what is in the closet. I can understand this to a point and have said I can see the value in this system especially if that is something that is important to her. That I appreciate the level of organization and dedication she puts into our lives at home, but also that I won't be told I can't wear the clothes I want when I want to. I'm a comfort outfit type of person. I know which of my shirts I love the most and what pairs of pants I like them with, what belt goes with which outfit, etc. However, I don't believe I need to wear them in a rotation and not being able to wear (or find) what I please is very frustrating to me. I don't rip them out of the drawers and leave the rest a mess, I always carefully remove them and put other clothes back the way they were. When I take clothing from a drawer instead of the closet, it instantly sours her mood and the morning becomes very tense. To the point where she passive aggressively asked "Should I just throw all your clothes in the closet in the garbage?" and has not put laundry away for the entirety of this week because "What's the point? You're just going to wear whatever anyway." I might wear those clothes again, just not that day and yes, maybe a few can be go to donation because I'm not wearing them as much (Which is what I said in response), but to me, that isn't something to get so upset about you have a nasty attitude with your spouse over it and leave the house for work in a terrible mood. I see this as controlling and she sees my behavior as insensitive. But me wearing clothes "out of order" does nothing to our home or health, and has no negative impact on our lives other than her frustration with me not adhering to her system. Is this her being neurotic and controlling or am I the asshole? TLDR: My wife puts clothes away in old to new order and gets upset when I wear what I want to instead. AITA? submitted by /u/Ill-Gas-5031 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

AMEX Centurion. You did it. You reached the top of the mountain. How does it feel? Was it worth it? You’ve spent millions of dollars each year — enough to support hundreds of impoverished families — to qualify for the privilege of a massive buy-in and annual fee. You could have saved a rainforest, but you didn’t. This card is an awful earner for your millions in spend, but it doesn’t matter. The satisfaction you feel when you tap that black card for a $7 coffee makes quartering your point earn worthwhile. In practice, your Centurion rep is not as talented as your other two corporate assistants. Platinum. You spend whole days each year trying to “break even” on a $700 card. You probably earn 1x on almost all spending you put on the card. You lie to yourself, claiming that you use Equinox and Walmart+. You probably tell everyone that this is “the most premium card you can apply for,” when really it’s just a huge profit driver for AMEX. You self-justify during the two annual occasions in which you use an overcrowded Centurion Lounge, and purposely book red eyes to avoid the lines. You don’t even get primary auto rental insurance. Schwab Platinum. Same as above, but you decided to save $200 per year by moving no less than $1.5M into Schwab managed accounts. You tell literally everyone about the 1.1 cpp cashout, even though cashback individuals would almost certainly be better off with other setups. You probably forewent ~70k MR SUB points in order to get the Schwab variant over the vanilla variant. Morgan Stanley Platinum. Same as above, but you use a brokerage that no one has in their top three. At least you get the first authorized user for free, allowing you to wait in line with family members at Centurion lounges while talking to them about your five-year credit card plan. You probably forewent ~70k MR SUB points in order to get the Morgan Stanley variant over the vanilla variant. Gold. You agonize over the monthly restaurant credits. You’re constantly trying to remember whether you’ve already used Grubhub this month. For some reason, you call AMEX customer support more than Platinum and Centurion customers. You tell literally everybody about your Gold card, but people just respond by asking whether you’re active duty military or native american. You’re probably just a metrosexual. Green. You meant to get a Chase Sapphire Reserve, but you got denied. You’ve never impressed anyone with this card, and you never discuss it. Friends ask, “what happened to your Gold card?” You decided to acquire this card to try Clear, but realized the service usually takes just as much time as going through the precheck line at most airports. Blue Business Plus. You watched 40 credit card Youtubers tell you that it’s alright to put personal spend on a business card. You’re pretty sure that you can, but constantly worry about your next IRS audit. They probably won’t care, right? Right? At least you earn 2x MR points on everything you buy, which is pretty good! Hopefully, other white collar inmates will think you’re cool. Blue Cash Preferred. You probably have a Chase trifecta but agonized over grocery spend. Welcome to AMEX. The Disney bundle is your first coupon to clip — hope you prefer Captain Marvel over literally every other streaming service. You constantly check whether you are close to hitting your $6000 spending cap for the year, and wonder whether it makes sense to get another grocery card. Your 6% streaming category probably nets you around $6 per year. You use the 3% gas category, even though you can definitely do better. Blue Cash Everyday. You probably have 10 credit cards. You signed up for this one despite mid-tier gas and grocery rewards, because the effective annual fee was negative. Enjoy Hulu and Home Chef. Although folks frequently discuss the 3% online retail category, you’re probably better off with a flat 2x card like the Blue Business Plus or Venture X. Everyday Preferred. Not bad for people who use grocery stores thirty times per month, in order to reach the adequate earn rates. What? You only go to the grocery store 8 times per month? No worries! Check out each item individually! If you make it past the fraud alerts and account closures, you’re set! You are also hopelessly single. Sorry, folks with the Chase trifecta — look elsewhere. BANK OF AMERICA Customized Cash Rewards. Your favorite pasttime is inventing protracted scenarios to show why your setup is marginally better than someone else's. But you only get to make such a claim for the singular 3% category you can choose, for which you'd earn 5.25% with Platinum Honors. Except people with a Custom Cash and a Rewards+ are laughing you out the building at 5.55%, so what are we even doing here? Let's also remember that a 3-4x MR/UR card might effectively out-earn both. You either need like 3 of these for this to be worthwhile or else the reward for parking you money at no one's favorite bank is a wannabe Custom Cash and underwhelming 3.5% on grocery cards. Pretty good 3.5% on wholesale clubs, though. But go ahead — tell me how much you love Bank of America, a bank that's been contracting since 2008. Unlimited Cash Rewards. We get it, you earn 2.625% on all spending. It's a pretty good cashback rate. But folks on team travel will tell you that, with a 2x catch-all card, they need a 1.31+ cpp redemption. That's not a tough sell. By the way, I'd say you aren't fun at parties but if you have this card, then you don't go to parties at all. Theres a 90% chance you eventually move your money and switch to a U.S. Bank Altitude Reserve. Note: Bank of America has three equally underwhelming travel cards. If you have these cards, then (1) your dad added you as an authorized user, (2) you're already collecting from social security, or (3) your trust fund happens to be through Merrill Lynch. CAPITAL ONE Quicksilver. This card is probably named for the Marvel superhero "Quicksilver" to commemorate how short this card falls once visible on-screen. Be honest. You hate this card too, but it was your first. You got 14 mailers for the Quicksilver before relenting, because they knew you were too soft too resist. There is no reason to have or use this card, but that doesn't stop Capital One from marketing this as a premium card for people who wear designer clothing; unfortunately, the only premiums here are those that Capital One earns through interest on its subprime creditholders. Savor. By itself, your card earns mid-tier rewards on grocery and dining. And, while you got it for the 10% Uber benefit, you've come to realize that this benefit was painfully temporary, ike all joy in this world. As a coping mechanism, you recommend this card to literally everyone, regardless of circumstance or usefulness. This card, when paired with the Venture X, is pretty good at earning transferable points. It’s too bad that your transfer partners are primarily overseas airlines that your family would refuse to fly on. See Venture X. Venture. You got this card accidentally. You meant to get the Venture X. They won’t let you product change. You’re in limbo. Venture X. 40 credit card Youtubers recommended that you get this card. You tell literally everyone that this card has no flaws. But you’ve always considered putting travel spend on other cards with greater earn rates, giving up your travel insurance. You’ve probably never seen a C1 lounge, nor have you ever used a generic priority pass lounge. You’ve always hated travel portals, but you’ve started telling people they don’t rip you off “that much.” You are totally unfamiliar with most of the transfer partners. You had to google what kind of night show “Accor Live Limitless” was. You’ve never flown Air Canada, nor British Airways, but thought maybe you’d fly with them eventually. For every new loyalty program you join to transfer points, you will receive promotional emails in perpetuity. Perhaps you tell people that it’s super easy and convenient to book qualified United award flights through Turkish Airlines a year in advance, subject to blackout dates. News flash, 26-year old financial guru: it’s not. CHASE Freedom Rise. Your older brother suggested you use Chase because he has a checking account there. Congratulations, you just started and you’ve already committed to getting a Chase Trifecta. Don’t spend your $25 SUB all at once. Freedom. You either forget you owned this card, or you’re a credit card pro. As such, cardholders either purchase $0 or $1500 per quarter — no in between. You value your Costco membership above having a strictly better Flex card introduced by Chase. One day, you will grow tired of fighting Chase to keep this card. Until then, enjoy your quarterly calls to customer service to explain why you do not want to product change. Oh, and cherish the three months a year where Chase doesn’t hang you out to dry for groceries. Freedom Flex. This card sits in the sock drawer for roughly half the year. For the remaining quarters, you manufacture spending and drain your checking account. This might be the closest thing to an in-person grocery card that Chase has. Hope you didn’t want to use this at Costco. Freedom Unlimited. You constantly try to cope with the fact that you earn 1.5x as a catch-all, instead of 2x with AMEX, Chase, or Citi. You have 32 paragraphs written out explaining why Hyatt justifies receiving 25% fewer points per dollar, compared to other issuers. You agonize about the 5/24 rule. AMEX friends describe your setup as “tacky,” or “cute.” Sapphire Preferred. You live in fear of Hyatt being discontinued as a Chase partner. You have no idea how to use the $50 portal credit without overpaying by a similar sum. You have Instacart+ and Pelotan credits but will never use either. You have excellent travel protection but frequently consider putting travel expenses on other cards with better earn rates. You literally cry when someone mentions "buying groceries in-person." You contemplate switching to the AMEX Gold a few times per year. Sapphire Reserve. You live in fear of Hyatt being discontinued as a Chase partner. You struggle to justify the $250 effective annual fee. You tell AMEX folks that, at least, you don’t have statement credits to work through. But you do — there’s Lyft Pink, DoorDash, Instacart+, and Peloton — but you aren’t aware that you need to use them. You’ve also never used a normal priority pass lounge — your main airports may not even have one. You wish you had an AMEX Platinum every time you pass a Centurion Lounge. But those Sapphire lounges have to be coming soon, right? J.P. Morgan Reserve. You could have had the substantively similar Sapphire Reserve, but you wanted to one-up your rich friends with the AMEX Centurion. Everyone mistakes this card for the Platinum, and will ask you how much you love the concierge. You won’t be rich for long. Ritz Carlton. has a a good option for credit card lifers who, oddly, stay at Marriott hotels like 4 times per year. Some credit card YouTuber told you to get this card. Thankfully, it was a good fit; you’re the kind of person who orders off-menu from fast food restaurants. It was discontinued 6-7 years ago, but I’m sure your five year plan to acquire it will work out. At least you gain access to the singular Sapphire lounge — that’ll show those morons with the Bonvoy Brilliant! By the way, your status is pointless within the United States — and if you have this card, you probably think about traveling internationally a lot but never go further than North America. You still don’t understand how the flight credit works. Marriott Boundless. You are desperately trying to figure out how to turn this into a Ritz Carlton card. It's an alright card for what is likely the best hotel chain. That's a bit like being the "best" type of heart disease. Decent multiplier for Marriott properties, with an annual fee ordinarily justified by the presence of a 35k point free night certificate. But have you ever tried to use one of these? Hope you like listening to domestic abuse next door in your complimentary one-night stay at a TownePlace Suites. IHG [Anything]. You must like Kimpton enough to justify countless out-of-date resorts, totally devalued points, and a chain that is in no one’s top three. You’ve never heard of Accor live limitless, but you’ll be switching to them in around three years when you’re tired of IHG. Ranked #2 in the world for hotels with Gold and Green curtains — somehow behind Trump Hotels. World of Hyatt. This car has never seen the outside of your sock drawer, serving only to increase the quality of life during your occassional reward stays. Your loyalty program is overrun by every 25-year old with a Chase trifecta — including you. 90% of Hyatt hotels are identical and depressing. Nicer Hyatts (e.g. Thompson, Andaz) are disproportionately expensive, artificially driving up your perceived redemption rate. You will switch to a cashback setup if Hyatt gets removed from the Chase Trifecta. Ink [Anything]. You have absolutely no loyalty to anything in life. You churn through credit card issuers like you move through relationships. You outright lie about your revenue or income to the bank. You don’t wonder whether or not personal spend can go on business cards — you’re certain that it may. You get, like, three of these per year for your “resale business.” You tell literally everyone about the Chase 5/24 rule. You are a member of r/churning. Amazon. This card is fine if you plan to maintain a lifelong addiction to unsustainable warehouse conditions and two-day shipping. Every time you check Amazon, you find fewer and fewer brands you’ve heard of: TASALON stools, TOONOW blankets, and TERLULU silverware. But if you’re into outsourced production and corporate overloads, I guess this is fine. CITI Custom Cash. Your credit limit is probably $600, which is fine because you earn 1% on anything above $500 within a category. You log-in almost daily toward the end of the month due to the anxiety of exceeding the cap. You think this card is a good fit for literally everybody. You probably have three of these, just like you probably have three partners you hope don't find out about one another. You also probably have a Chase trifecta, seeking out a grocery or gas card. But you will invariably get sucked into the Citi ecosystem, until horrible customer service experiences or subpar transfer partners drive you away. Double Cash. You’re a boring person and have absolutely no stand-out features as a human being. Everyone else will recommend that you next get a Custom Cash, then a Premier — advice which you will accept. If you choose another ecosystem, this card will become useless or replaceable. Welcome to Citi, sucker. Premier. You fell in love with the reward categories, and have a weird fixation on travel portals. You are either a credit card amateur or a credit card professional, depending on whether you took on these transfer partners unknowingly or intentionally. You also have no real travel insurances or priority pass. You google “Citi Strata update 2024” three times per week. Rewards+. Everyone who has this card was, at one point, a gamer. No idea why. Also for people who want to make a lifelong commitment to Citi bank. It’s like those who get stuck in a bad marriage but decides to renew vows anyway. Costco Anywhere. Do you wish you could convert more of your liquid cash into gift certificates? You’re in luck. Here, you can accrue rewards all year — in convenient gift certificates instead of inconvenient liquid money. You didn’t realize that you could get 2% (or more) back at Costco with an array of alternative cards. You are literally the most frugal person in the world, but that doesn’t mean you’re good with money. You’ll one day build a survival shelter, probably. CREDIT ONE [Anything]. You were probably scammed. You might have the basis for a valid legal claim. Next, I have a bridge to sell you. DISCOVER It. You’re 19 years old and probably attend a big state school. Discover hopes that one high-value year is enough to keep you as a customer for life. It won’t be. After opening an It as your first credit card, you will find its usefulness wanes after the first-year cashback match expires. After that, you spend the rest of your life wondering whether it’s a good time to cancel. U.S. BANK Cash+. If you have this card, you’re an advanced cashback user. It’s a fine card — 5% back on utilities, internet, TV and streaming. It’s unique categories allow us to overlook the fact that your credit limit is probably $2,000 — and that you’ve been noticing diminishing returns from the credit card game for a long time. Shopper Cash. Probably not worthwhile, except for a narrow subset of use cases. You probably shop at Walmart, but would be better off getting Walmart+ and calling it a day. Assuming you maximize your 6% categories, you earn $360/year, or $265 after the annual fee. You’ll stop using this card in about two years. Smartly. Let's pretend for a second that this 4% catch-all card is sustainable once U.S. Bank realizes that people parking funds is not sufficiently revenue generating to justify coughing up this much value. In such a world, these would be strong rewards. But there will be a nerf, and the joke will be on you. And there's a hidden annual fee: the opportunity cost on superior savings or money market rates elsewhere on $100,000 or more. If you walk out of a car dealership and the salesmen high five, you got scammed; well, the U.S. Bank executives haven't stopped clapping since Smartly's release. Altitude Go. It’s a great starter card for those seeking a secured option to build credit. 4% dining is decent cashback. But you’ll inevitably put this card in the sock drawer once you find a 5% or 3x dining alternative. You’re probably trying to find the right time to cancel. Altitude Connect. 4% on gas or EV charging is the lone highlight on this card. It's simply outclassed. When you buy cars, you go to Car and Driver and sort from worst to best within a segment. For some reason, I am certain that these cardholders also bank with U.S. Bank. Altitude Reserve. This unusual card could have made U.S. Bank a powerhouse — but didn’t. You probably got this card before making mobile payment a habit, and you’re not sure whether you’ll stick to it long-term. First, you need to get approved for this card — but probably won’t. Second, you need to settle for no more than 4.5% back on any given category. Third, you can’t pool your U.S. Bank points from other cards for the 1.5 cpp redemptions. Admittedly, it’s sweet to get 1.5 cpp on all travel redemptions, even at brands with low-value loyalty points like Hilton or Marriott. Your new favorite mantra is “do you take Apple Pay?” Your friends and loved ones roll their eyes when you ask that in a crowded bar or sit-down restaurant. They hate when you stop at a gas station, but begin looking for another once you find it does not accept mobile wallet payments. You can’t easily overcome the $60-75 effective annual fee. But you do get to visit underwhelming priority pass lounges up to eight (8) times per year. Maybe that’s enough! WELLS FARGO Autograph. So you applied for a middle-of-the-pack cashback card with the hopes of unlocking forthcoming transfer partners? Keep waiting. You listen intently when they tell you that these delays are to “get things right,” when obviously these delays were sparked by disarray to mitigate an underwhelming release. You wish you had the Chase trifecta. Your credit limit is probably $2,500. Active Cash. You’re naive and impatient. You signed onto the first 2% card you heard about. You probably shop at Costco. You wait desperately for the transfer partners, which are delayed about as often as the Tesla Cybertruck. You live in denial with the belief that these partners will include American or Hyatt — when you’ll be lucky if they rival Citi. Bilt Mastercard. You rent, and will never be able to afford a mortgage. Especially because you’re apparently allergic to SUBs. You’re certainly under the age of 32. This is essentially a Chase Sapphire Preferred with no ecosystem. You manufacture 40% of your monthly spend to occur on Rent Day. You live in fear of the “nerf,” or of Bilt declaring bankruptcy. You probably fly American Airlines and constantly check whether others have added it as a transfer partner. Your credit limit is probably $2,500. REDSTONE FCU Signature. You are from the northeast, yet pilfered this local credit union for its credit card offering. Sorry, credit lifers — you can no longer get this card if you live outside of TN and AL. For those who already have it, I hope you feel good about yourselves. You joined some weird organization you’ve never heard of, just so you could schedule a Skype call with a nice, elderly staff member. You then lied straight to the face of this sweet old southern lady. Yes, you were very interested in Redstone's other financial offerings. Of course, you wanted to open that checking account. And you just happened to have a natural fondness for credit unions and southern charm. For your dishonesty, you are condemned to the most confusing portal of any credit card issuer, finding that your points oddly double then halve themselves. It might be the least convenient cashback card on the market. You recommend this card to literally everyone, mostly to remind them that you have it. You live in constant fear of nerfs. BREAD FINANCIAL (FKA COMENITY) AAA Daily Advantage. The categories are great. The rewards are great. The app is trash, and the customer service is worse. You’re almost better off getting paper notices. Rebranding can evade reputation for some, but the rest of us remember when Comenity ruined everyone’s credit scores for months. If you’re thinking about taking the plunge, you almost certainly have a Chase Trifecta or a young cashback setup. You frequently wonder whether it’s worthwhile to eat the annual fee and switch to the AMEX Blue Cash Preferred. AAA Travel Advantage. For most people, this is a poorer card than the Daily Advantage, but it has good categories and rewards. The customer service and app are woefully underwhelming. If you get this card, I just assume you drive an ICE Hummer or super-duty pickup. You’re almost certainly on team cashback, and have about 6 cards that you don’t use. [Anything]. Enjoy your store card, prick. You were definitely misled by some retail worker. Hopefully, that Bed, Bath & Beyond or Victoria’s Secret card was a good investment for you. People just organically assume that you have credit card debt. SYNCHRONY PayPal. You’re middle-aged, and have no idea what Venmo is. The rewards structure is decent, but you likely impulse applied for this card too quickly to consider whether it was the best choice. Venmo. You're at most 24 years old and, for some reason, are always hanging with the boys. Your favorite alcohol is beer. You get 3% on one category and 2% on another — so it's basically a worse version of a BOA CCR and so many other cards. But if you want this card to be even more useless, you can turn your cashback into Crypto. Just watch those rewards exhaust themselves! Sam’s Club. Pretty decent for Sam’s Club and gas purchases, with a slightly more flexible rewards structure than Costco. But your off-brand Costco card is unlikely to make up for the fact that you brought discount flowers to your first date, or refused to tip the staff at your wedding venue. Like the Costco card, I sure hope you value store credit just as highly as liquid money. Verizon. Do you value “Verizon Dollars,” more than liquid money? This is the only card earning this patented currency on the entire market! Good earning structure, though. I’d warn you about Synchrony’s customer service, but you have Verizon — you’re used to it. [Anything]. Enjoy your store card, prick. You were definitely misled by some retail worker at Mattress Firm or American Eagle. People just organically assume that you have credit card debt. FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF OMAHA Amtrak. Underrated card with solid point earn and solid 2.5 cpp redemptions for those alone the Northeast Regional line. Did you make the mistake of living elsewhere, in a country which woefully underfunds rail transport? It's not for you. Glad you can redeem for aspirational experiences like a coach seat on a 90 minute train where you're immediately treated like a second-class citizen by staff. LUXURY CARDS [Anything]. You are either insufferable or gullible. You enter a liquor store and buy the most expensive bottle — with zero understanding if its the best. You buy cars for over MSRP. You probably speculate in real estate on the side. You post in r/personalfinance about your struggles to make ends meet with a $150,000 income. You have a serious gambling problem. GOLDMAN SACHS Apple Card. You're reading this on your iPhone 16 Pro Max. You kept reminding your friends that the new one "has titanium, bro." You got the credit card for the same reason. You purchased the most premium feeling card, just to upload it into an Apple Wallet and throw it into a sock drawer. You have, at most, two credit cards. You get 2% on almost all Apple Pay, which is almost as good as a 2% catch-all card. You also tell people about the 4% savings account, when anyone could access higher yields elsewhere. Goldman Sachs is backing out of this deal just as fast as the users who made the mistake of procuring one. I’d love to hate on more card offerings. Anyone have suggestions? EDIT: Can't believe this became the #1 post on our sub-Reddit. That's awesome. Thank you for the support, everyone! submitted by /u/Ryfiii to r/CreditCards [link] [comments]

Like many, my husband and I have struggled to know what to do with clothes that are worn multiple times before washing. For years we have used “the chair” or piled them on top of the dresser. In general we keep our spaces pretty clutter-free, so the piles of semi-clean clothes have always driven me nuts. Part of our problem stemmed from us sharing one big dresser since we moved in together. It had big, deep drawers that were stuffed to capacity and difficult to keep organized. We finally decided to get two dressers, one for each of us. While setting them up, my husband had a simple yet truly life changing idea - the top drawer of his dresser would be solely dedicated to the clothes he wears multiple times before washing. I did the same and, my goodness, it is incredible how much of a difference having a designated spot for those clothes has been. I am still breaking the habit of throwing my clothes on the chair or the corner of the bed, but now I catch myself and can tidy up in 5 seconds. As a bonus, transferring clothes from our old dresser to the new dressers provided an excellent opportunity to reevaluate and get rid of clothing we don’t use. We both probably decluttered about a third of the clothes we had in our old dresser. I keep telling my husband that, after marrying me, this is the best idea he has ever had. I have told pretty much everyone in my life about this, and I just had to share with this lovely community! submitted by /u/espelhinho to r/declutter [link] [comments]

I AM NOT THE ORIGINAL PERSON WHO POSTED THIS. Original post by u/AccountForBPD in /r/exmuslim trigger warnings: violence, religion mood spoilers: hopeful ending?   Auntie saw me without my hijab on and told my parents, woke up at 3am to them pinning me down and cutting my hair. - submitted on 29 May 2017 Hi all, I detest the hijab. My ultra religious father forced me to wear it when I was 5. My mom also supported this, despite the fact that she wore a hijab and religious clothing at the age of FORTY EIGHT!! Pretty hypocritical. Anyways, I am 23 and a PhD student. Since starting my PhD, I felt brave and started going to school without the hijab. I would put it on prior to coming home. 2 days ago, I was out with a male friend near campus and I ran into an "auntie". She said salaam but I kept walking and pretended to not know her. She called my mom that same day and I denied it. I know my mother called my father and told him this. I decided to go to sleep to avoid them. I ended up waking up due to pressure on my body and someone grabbing my hair. I quickly realized my father was sitting on me as my mother was cutting my (waist length) hair. They both yelled "why don't you take off your hijab now with your ugly hair. Show the world!" Then my father took the scissors to my throat and said he would kill me in my sleep if I ever go out without my hijab again. I have not been able to sleep since. They will come into my room throughout the night and say things like "do not forget what we said."   OOP Comment I was going to wait until my parents left the house so I can leave but my dad took off the past few days from work and has been at home, watching me like a hawk.   Helpful Response Turn your phone silent with NO vibrate so you can hide it safe and quiet. Message your friends from school. Message your advisor. If you don't show up within the week, and they don't hear your voice (ie, not someone pretending to be you and texting them) they should call the cops. Tell them to read this reddit thread long story short. Meanwhile, play it cool with your dad. It's ok to show fear, he would feel mission accomplished. Hopefully he will lower his guard a little and not press you further. If they let you go to school, you get your chance to run. Don't fight too hard to go back to school. Just act obedient and "scared straight." Better yet, don't even mention going to school and pretend you don't feel like leaving the house. Let them be the one to bring up you needing to go to school so they don't suspect you planning on running. Also for packing. Obviously don't pack an actual bag. Instead, "organize" your stuff, so one of the drawer will be everything you plan on taking just not inside a bag. So when your window to leave appear, you dump everything in that drawer into your bag nice and fast then go.   More Info From OOP I am in Canada, and almost 24! I have always worked multiple jobs and I have a great job and funding now, so my finances are great. I just need a way to physically leave because I fear my dad will stop me and try to kill me.     Update - Auntie saw me without my hijab on and told my parents, woke up at 3am to them pinning me down and cutting my hair. - submitted on 31 Aug 2017 [Note: Duaa = prayer, Quran = islamic holy book, thawab = divine reward, wudu = ritual washing before daily prayer, burka = garment covering the entire body worn by women in public] Thank you for all the support. I am truly blessed to have this community to turn to during times of turmoil. I appreciated all the advice. Fortunately, my father eventually returned to work 12 days later. During this period, my parents became EXTREMELY religious. They started forcing me to read Quran, pray, fast for thawab/ask for redemption from Allah for going out without my hijab, and my father told me that I will have to wear a burka from now on if I want to step foot outside (I only wore hijab before). I decided to go along with the charade and pretend I found Allah and started acting more religiously around the house while my father was home. I constantly asked him to make duaa for me to bring me back to Islam, I'd do wudu throughout the day, have the prayer times memorized, etc. During the 12 days he was home, he was watching me like a hawk. So I would take a Quran and tell him I was going to read Quran in my room and ask Allah for forgiveness for my horrible actions. Once I was in my room, I would look for apartments for rent, restraining order information, and I slowly started to gather my belongings. I contacted my faculty and informed them I would be taking a leave of absence for 1 semester, which they allowed. I made arrangements to stay with a friend, and then ultimately, move to my own apartment, as I have the funds to do so. The day my father returned to work, I was home alone with my mother and very religious brother. I had a backpack packed with all the necessities. While my father was home, I had started planting a seed in my mother's head, telling her that I wanted to go to the mosque and start teaching Quran to younger girls. Thus, upon my father's exit from the house, I casually mentioned to my mother that I was going to visit the mosque to inquire about teaching Quran. I had to play the part, so I wore the burka my father got me and my brother dropped me off at the mosque and told me he would return in an hour. I went inside the mosque and waited in the shoe area until my brother drove off. I then called an Uber and went to my friend's house. There, I removed the burka and started my plan of action. I got in contact with the police and informed them of everything, showing pictures of bruises I had documented, as well as my hair. Long story short, I am in a different city now. Unfortunately, my parents and brother tried to hunt me down and I could not continue living in my small city. I have relocated to a different city and changed my name. As a result of relocating, I had to withdraw from my PhD program, which was the hardest thing to do. I have re-applied to a PhD program in my current city and I hope to start in January. I wanted to make this update post for anyone in a difficult situation and thinking about leaving. I know most of you want to get out ASAP but sometimes, it is safer to lay low and fool your parents into thinking you regret your actions and that you have found Islam again. I know in my heart that if I had attempted to leave that same night, my father or brother would have ended my life, for they believe that it's better to have a dead daughter/sister than to have a living one straying from Islam. Thanks to everyone in the community for the support!   OOP Comment It is a complicated situation. Unfortunately, I cannot divulge much information due to privacy reasons. I have moved to a larger city, further away from my parents and they do not know this. I also have no social media or online presence, and I cut out nearly all of my friends from my home city out of my life.   Helpful Response I'm an atheist and am president of a small secular nonprofit organization. We are often asked by teens and adult children living at home how to "come out" as non-religious (or less religious) to their parents. Our advice has always been, "It is best to wait until you are financially and physically secure, away from your parents." Sure, YOUR parents are the "cool" ones. THEY will understand! And probably they will - after some initial yelling and crying - allow life to go on. But there are some who, with no warning, seem to go a bit insane. Be careful out there. Stay safe!   Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/joshually to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/catsareawesome124 to r/konmari [link] [comments]

So I’ve always been kind of a neat freak mom the entire time my kids have been alive. I always expect their rooms to be clean, and I check their drawers/closets/storage bins to make sure they don’t just shove stuff in there to make the room appear clean. The kids (16, 13, 9, and 6) are all responsible for putting away their laundry, and my oldest two are responsible for folding their own clothes. Which bothers me because my 13 year old folds his clothes in a way that bothers me, he rolls them up instead of properly folding them. Ever since the kids have been home and have more free time, I am more strict about the way they put away their clothes. I expect their clothes to be folded a certain way and organized in a certain way in their drawers. I read from a mommy blogger a few years ago, that when her kid’s drawers weren’t organized she would make a mess for them to organize the right way. I considered it for a few years, but now that the kids are old enough, I think it’s the way to go for us. I havent had to do this until yesterday, I walked into my 16 year old’s room while she was Facetiming her boyfriend, and saw her basket of laundry that needed to be folded and out of curiosity, opened her drawers, and saw she has shoved her clothes in there. I started making a mess and she screamed “Mom why?” and I told her she knew why. After that I walked out of her room, she explained to her boyfriend what I did and he says “Your mom’s fucking crazy bruh” and I peek my head into her room, give her a look, and she ends the call with him and breaks down crying. I told my husband what happened, he told me “I knew said you were gonna do that but I didn’t know you would actually follow through.” This morning I woke up to a note on my daughter’s door saying “Until mom can get mental help, I’m staying with Aunt (my sister’s name)” I texted her, no response. I tried contacting my sister, who said she has no plans to return until I “get mental help and stop being such a controlling bitch” My husband, sister, and mom are all against me in this which hurts. I don’t think it harmed my daughter, it benefits her and helps her stay organized. submitted by /u/clothesindrawers to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]