Grooming For Dogs

... with other traits like maintenance, grooming, medical, discipline, house cleaning, daily... those who are adverse to dogs, etc.

... up sell treatments for our dogs. Every year, the yearly checkup... at our house. My dogs are 25lbs and grooming is now $125 a dog...

..., 100 hrs -Pet ownership: 5 dogs, 1 turtle, fish. 75 hrs..., helping with stallion collection, foaling, grooming, and yearling training. 360 hrs...

... was patrolled by large, stygian dogs. They were massive—their heads... the time to spot the dogs while under attack from the... machine, is a great, shadowy-cat grooming itself. No. . . it's more a...

.... So much more pleasant. Therapy dogs rock. Thank you. My last... I did extra training and grooming so she would be a...

... extension cords for things like grooming the dogs.

... of Adam grooming them into being his personal psychotic attack dogs come...

... real-deal tools, not SAK style grooming accesories. I have had mine... on removing it from Duncan. Dogs deserve nothing but the very...

I’ve had both dogs and cats. They got along ... through a mortal illness, diligently grooming him and staying close until...

... the enemy down like the dogs they are, which increases your... your combat generals. If you're grooming a general to sit in ...

... beyond attracting mates so excessive grooming is a symptom of stress... been observed in mice, rats, dogs, cats..many creatures including humans...

... independently wealthy. They have 4 dogs and other pets, they are... between vet bills, food and grooming, you have to have money...

... square feet. A former dog grooming, place. It has one big... they used to wash the dogs it has plumbing stuff built...

... a special liking for pet grooming videos, which let her see.... However, they liked being brushed. Dogs tolerated baths and blow-drying just... were more around human size. Dogs happily ran around playing with... experienced inside the dome, but dogs were roaming around accepted even ... distance away watching over the dogs and helping out with various .... It was easy to slot dogs and cats into the methods ...

... part of my life with dogs and currently have 2, with... their food/vet visits, medicines, grooming do cost, but not a.... Don't go for breed, all dogs are different, even from the... since she has grown with dogs, knows how to deal with... locality, and have some different dogs at your home on short... commitment. I foster lots of dogs and I'm a part of ...

... rescued. they already had two dogs and Dave is not pleased... takes Bonnie and Rosie for grooming together and only a mile...

... here on the islands about grooming gangs. They seem mostly to... to two hours with people's dogs, doing all sorts of things...

... suggest Klee Kai, but the grooming would be on par with ... lol. I've never owned small dogs myself, but my cousin has ...

... menagerie with other cats, several dogs, and a rabbit or two... when I bring out the grooming comb and give her a... nice, long lap session with grooming. She just purrs the whole...

...، خصوصاً القطط * إجادة الحلاقة والترويش (Grooming) * معرفة بأساسيات العناية والنظافة للحيوانات...: ✂ Pet Groomer (Cats & Dogs) 🔹 Requirements: - Previous experience... cats - Skilled in grooming and bathing (pet grooming) - Knowledge of basic...

I help at a ranch and grooming horses is so funny. Animals like dogs can at least sctrach themselves but animals like hores and cows have to rely on a tree or if you give them a scratch post. So when grooming them, you're probably scratching a ich they've had for god knows how long

I help at a ranch and grooming horses is so funny. Animals like dogs can at least sctrach themselves but animals like hores and cows have to rely on a tree or if you give them a scratch post. So when grooming them, you're probably scratching a ich they've had for god knows how long

I help at a ranch and grooming horses is so funny. Animals like dogs can at least sctrach themselves but animals like hores and cows have to rely on a tree or if you give them a scratch post. So when grooming them, you're probably scratching a ich they've had for god knows how long

I help at a ranch and grooming horses is so funny. Animals like dogs can at least sctrach themselves but animals like hores and cows have to rely on a tree or if you give them a scratch post. So when grooming them, you're probably scratching a ich they've had for god knows how long

i truly cannot believe this is my life and i need to talk about and show her off 🥹 yesterday i was going for run at my usual trail and as soon as i pulled over i noticed a tiny cat laying on the side of the road (pic 2). i immediately went up to her slowly and weirdly enough she didn’t run away at all. i followed her for a bit and she even let me pet her. i eventually got close enough to grab her but she freaked out and after following her a bit more (and having a near panic attack when she was in the road as a car was coming), i decided to buy cat food and come back to hopefully lure her in (it was obvious she was hunting for food). i found her again RIGHT away and the poor baby was SO hungry. after about 30-45 minutes of luring her, 1 failed attempt, help from a nice random guy, and multiple scratches, we finally got her in my car! she freaked out for a couple seconds in there but then calmed down and sat on the back dashboard. i took her straight to the vet because 1. i had no idea what i was supposed to do and 2. she looked to be in rough shape. her claws & ears looked messed up, she had a bald patch on her chest, and had a bunch of ticks. the vet gave me a carrier and recommended me to pull my car in my garage and let her roam for a bit and to give them a call once she settles. after a couple hours of hiding in my garage (she loved laying under my dads toolbox), i was able to get her out, in the carrier, and brought her up to spend the night in my bathroom. i still can’t believe how fast she warmed up. i found her at 11am, got her in my car at 12pm, letting me pet her all over by 4pm, got her upstairs at 5:30, and by 7 she was so cuddly and affectionate. she started purring and meowing and rubbing up against me i wanted to cry 😭 she’s a flopper!!! i love cat flops so much!! she used her litter box and by 10pm she was meowing to greet me and was VERY vocal about being let out of the bathroom lol. i had to put treats in her bowl so i could sneak out. she had a vet appt today at 10 and not only is she the chillest, sweetest cat ever, she’s healthy!! i thought she was pregnant because her belly is big, but the vet said that’s from milk and she had kittens recently. i followed her to her little shelter that she stayed in and there were definitely no kittens there. vet thinks that because she’s so small (only 6 pounds!!) and young (around a year old), the kittens didn’t make it; which is sad, but i can’t help to feel a little relieved that there aren’t more stray, scared little babies roaming around outside :,( truly i cannot believe this is my life. she is the sweetest thing ever. she loves belly rubs and is so affectionate. i felt like a monster taking her but i’m so happy and relieved. she’s so chill. she literally slept in the car!!! anyways, done with the yapping. idc if no one reads this i need to tell anyone and everyone that will listen that this is my baby submitted by

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/bitchesbebonkers6 Originally posted to r/ComfortLevelPod My roommate is pregnant with my Ex’s Baby Trigger Warnings: possible grooming, incest, racism My Bf and roommate planned a "surprise” that turned out to be baby supplies: February 17, 2026 My sanity feels like it's spiraling and I have finally convinced myself to come to reddit for the first time. Comfort level pod has always been a channel I’ve adored and love listening to ,so I know y'all got the best advice and I'm ready to hear all of it. Okay, so as y'all know, this past weekend was Valentine's Day. For the past month, me (F24) and my roommate Jackie F25 have been arguing and butting heads because we live in a 2 bedroom apartment and she just found out she was pregnant and claims that she doesn't know who the father is. But she basically wants me to either move out or room in the living room until I can afford to move out. We have lived together for 3 years. She's best friends with my stepsister F26 We're not super close, we're not best friends, but we were close enough to move in together, if you get the idea. Okay, so this past Thursday I got home early from work around, and when I walked in I was just settling down, about to make something to eat, when I see my boyfriend walking toward the door like he's about to leave the apartment. And I say Jaden? M25 and I ask what he was doing here since I had just spoken to him and he said he was on his way to work. He works on the opposite side of town, so he would have no reason to be on this side of town unless he was seeing me, because he also lives on the opposite side of town. He quickly stops and goes, Oh hey babe," and tries to hug me. Well, he's my boyfriend, so obviously I hugged him. And I go What are you doing here? And that's when Jackie comes out she says, "Oh my God, we didn't ruin the surprise, did we?" I was completely dumbfounded. And said, "What do you mean?" And she says, Well, Jaden had a pretty big gift that he couldn't hide in his apartment, so he wanted to hide it here for you for V Day. that was fair because Jaden does live in a studio apartment where he has to share a bathroom and has a Husky, and his place is pretty occupied. So it was a good enough story for me to believe. I just laughed and said I couldn't wait to see it and made a joke about how now I have to up my game on gifts this year because usually we do simple stuff. For context, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. He rushed out saying that he had to get to work. Everything was going by normal. comes Valentine's Day Me and my bf had planned on doing gift exchanges at my apartment and then going out for dinner and then a movie later on. So he comes over and immediately I'm like, "Me first, me first, because I'm always so excited to give him gifts. I give him a pair of Jordans that he had been constantly talking about, and a gaming headset and monitor. He starts talking about how happy he is and Then comes my turn. I get a bag with Pandora on it and I open it. It's a necklace. Now usually I'm not one for material things, but I will mention that later on after all this happened I did look up the necklace, and the total of this necklace was only 25 bucks and that was just for the pendant. He bought his own chain off Amazon, which was 10 bucks. So I smile and I say thank you, and there was just kind of an awkward silence because I was waiting. And he goes, “What? Why are you looking at me like that? And I laughed and said I know you still have that big gift in Jackie's room. I never saw you take it out, and I can still see it in her room. For context, there is a really big Amazon box in her room that was still taped up, never opened, in the corner of her room. So I assumed obviously that was my gift. He laughs and goes, Oh yeah, that they sent me the wrong thing, so I'll have to take it back. I said, What? What were you trying to get? What did they send? He says that he meant to get me a gaming chair, which is completely off topic considering I don't game. I've never been into gaming. What I actually asked for was a vanity or new acrylic paints. He got really weird. So I said What's in the box? because I can tell when he's lying and it just did not add up. He kept saying I don't know. It's supposed to be a gaming chair, but I have a feeling it's not a gaming chair. I got up and walked into Jackie's room, and I ask her, Do you know what's in that box? It was very clear she felt caught off guard and goes, Well, obviously it's your Valentine's Day gift. So I said, "Let's open it. I open it and low and behold, not a gaming chair. It's an Amazon box that had obviously been retaped over and had multiple smaller packages inside. As I'm opening these packages, it's baby clothes, bottles, diapers basically everything and anything that was baby related. hundreds of dollars’ worth of stuff. So I look at my boyfriend, who is now standing in Jackie's doorway, and I'm just like, What is this? What's going on? Why would you go out of your way to give her all this stuff? I'm so confused. Like when I tell you I was stuck, I was stuck. I had no idea what to do. I'm looking around and they're both looking so dumbfounded and guilty. I asked What is going on? And that's when Jaden just decides to go, "This isn't working. I think we need to end this." He grabs the gifts that I gave him and walks out the door. I start walking behind him. He quickly holds the headphones up in the air because I'm 5'2" and he's a little over 6 feet tall and says, No, it's a gift. No take backs, like we're fucking five. I said, Okay, snatch the box of shoes out of his other hand, and walk back to my apartment, close and lock the door. I walk into Jackie's room. I apologize for the outburst and I just say, Why was he here the other day? Why was he coming out of your room? What is going on? Just tell me the truth. I'm not going to lie, I had been thinking about that day in the back of my mind, but I just didn't put two and two together that they would have been cheating on me. He's never given me a reason to think he would cheat on me. I trusted him. And she goes, with the most blank expression, Jaden is my baby's father. I don't know what got into me. Usually I'm not someone to shut down or not express myself, but I literally had nothing to say to her. I just said, Hope it was worth it, went back to my room, closed the door, and locked it. I smoked myself into a coma. Woke up a few hours later. She was gone. I could tell she had packed up a lot of her clothes. When I get on my phone, the first thing I see is that I've been added to a group chat with Jackie, Jaden, my stepsister, and my stepmother all telling me that Jaden ended the relationship because he needed someone more secure like Jackie. Secure? I've been paying 70% of the rent for the past year. Jackie can't keep a job for the life of her, and I've been picking up all the pieces, putting food on the table. That's hilarious. Secure? More like a headache. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Not only was it the group chat, but it was also all of them privately messaging me about how we can work through this as a family and that Jaden and Jackie deserve to be happy and that my dad is going to help me find a new place of my own so Jaden can move into the apartment and they can start their family. I said, So my dad knows about this? My stepmom goes, No, but he knows that it's time you and Jackie split apart and you retain your independence as a woman. Long story short, I left the group. It is now Tuesday. I haven't seen or heard from Jackie, Jaden, or my stepmom since. Part of me wants to reach out to my dad because I know he probably doesn't know the full story, but I don't know where to go from this. Any advice? Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Tell your dad the truth. Your step mom and her daughter are shady as hell. Your ex is a loser who put your health at risk. Get tested. I’d tell everyone the truth. Those two should be ashamed of themselves. How pathetic is the other woman to accept such garbage treatment from him. Gross. OOP: Haven't been the closest to my Dad since the divorce but I did reach out to my mom and She has my back 100% and she currently lives a few hours from me And plans on coming down this weekend. And were gonna talk to my dad together, He has had a history of taking my stepsisters/moms Side so it'll be good to have my mom and her partner on my side. OOP responds to multiple comments about taking her roommate to the court for the rent she covered, and collect all documents to provide she covered the amounts and the lease OOP: I thought about this, but do you think I could actually fight it considering how long it’s been? + Collecting evidence as we speak + Yes I am on the lease we both are. Commenter 2: I would suggest you JUST pay your portion of the rent and everything else until you get out of there. Start looking for a new place and talk to your Dad. Tell him you need a father daughter lunch and then spill your guts on everything. Especially the part that your step monster and stepsister are in on the betrayal and siding with the traitors. OOP: Looking into it. Already Contacting landlord regarding Jackie dude to the fact she can’t afford her 1/2 of the bills and our manager as already scheduled an apartment walkthrough and New updated paystubs and Occupants (her baby). Hopefully we can get this All figured out but Jackie already tried reaching out a weeks ago apparently letting my landlord know I would be moving out at the end of our lease in May.....(which is NEVER was Informed my her) meaning she’s been planning all this be the whole fucking time Commenter 3: I'd laugh in his face make him doubt the paternity with all the guys I'd seen her take home. OOP: Which is hilarious considering She claims they've been Together for a year, But she just broke up with her Bf 4 months ago but 20 week pregnant. OOP on her stepmother and Jackie’s relationship OOP: Before my parents’ divorce Jackie and my step sister were best friends when my dad married my stepmom Jackie Soon became more like A 3rd sister....... Bad home life always With us, always Around. Apparently my stepmom sees Jackie more as a daughter than me. Commenter 5: The way your stepmom and stepsister is okay with this means YOUR STEPMOM MIGHT DID THE SAME THING TO YOUR MOM when she’s still with your dad. You know, mistresses can tell each other apart. Even if you’re not close to your dad, tell him the truth. Don’t let them twist the narrative by making themselves a victim of their own story. Ask a lawyer about your lease, ask about your options regarding their slandering (if they went to tell everyone lies about your relationship with your ex) and don’t let them walk into you like that. Go to therapy too because this is a massive betrayal, disrespect, and disappointment. OOP: Funny how you Got everything 100% correct. My Stepmom and dad very much did get married after a 2 year affair behind my mom’s back resulting in my stepmom getting pregnant with my Younger Half-sister (like history just repeating itself at this point.) Which is why I’m so blessed to have my Mother and her partner on my side. My Little brother (WHOLE brother) is even looking to move into the building with his Buddies For safety reasons.   Update #1 (small update): February 19, 2026 (two days later) Okay, I just want to thank everyone for the advice on my last post. I did want to add some context for those who were confused. Yes, my stepmom and my dad had an affair while he was married to my mom for two years. She found out she was pregnant, and that’s when my dad suddenly decided he wanted to “step up” and be a great dad just not to me and my brother. Only to my stepsister and Baby sister (26F and 7F). And yes, my mom is still very much in my life. She lives a few hours away with her partner. There’s distance, but she’s always been there for me. Through all of this, my little brother (22M) has really had my back. I’ve had to stop him from confronting Jaden a few times, but he’s been my support system and has been crashing on my couch for safety reasons. My mom is coming into town so we can talk to my dad and get this lease situation handled. My landlord is doing a room inspection and asking for updated pay stubs and employment verification, which I can provide. I know Jackie is going to struggle with that because she only works 15 hours a week. And Jaden’s only works 25. When I first found out she was pregnant a month ago, she told me she was 10 weeks. She’s super skinny like cheerleader skinny so I couldn’t even tell. I later found out she might actually be 20 weeks. My stepmom said 25. My boyfriend said 21. So clearly somebody is lying. After talking to my brother, even though I don’t want to, I think it might be best for me to move even if it’s just to another building. I don’t like them knowing exactly where I live. Now about the monitor and headset he took. I had one of my male friends reach out to meet up and get it back. He sent pictures both were clearly used, and very obviously looked like his dog chewed up the headset. At that point I said, you know what? You want to break $300 worth of gaming stuff? Fine. I went on Facebook, joined a local moms/selling group, and sold almost everything from that box. I made my $300 back. I told my friend to let Jackie and Jaden know they didn’t have to worry about the $300 anymore because I already got it back. Apparently they went crazy banging on my door while I wasn’t home. (Jackie didn’t take her keys). They were yelling that there was $800 worth of stuff in there. I price-checked it maybe $500 max. But I didn’t care about $500. I just wanted my $300 back, so I lowballed it and sold it. I kept the car seat (because I know it’s mandatory when leaving the hospital) and the pump supplies. Her baby shower is in a few weeks, and my friend joked about regifting it To her as a joke🤣. Yeah, I know Its petty. I’m mad. Call me bitter, I really don’t care anymore. She was also behind on her car payments. I had been helping her because she didn’t want her parents to know and said she’d be embarrassed. I didn’t pay it this month and I’m not helping next month either. They even tried to charge my card, and she requested it I blocked it immediately. Apparently she’s been telling my landlord I plan on moving out in May, which I never said. So that’s fun. I’m hoping to have another update Monday after we talk to the landlord, and my mom gets here so we can handle everything. This whole situation has put a dent in my life and I’m just ready to move on. I promise you that man ain’t cute enough to be tripping over. I’m good off him. Thanks again for the advice, Reddit. P.S. I’m not 100% sure about small claims court. I know how dramatic she is and how dragged out that could get. I don’t have the time or energy for that right now. As long as she agrees to move out, I’m good with how it ended. She can have him. She was never a sister to me, and evidently he was never my man. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: She is not paying her rent or car payment, so who does she expect to pay the bills? Have you talked to your Dad? OOP: Nope apparently my stepmom and stepsister had been helping her as well. Before she broke up with her bf he paid her car note. No I plan on talking to him This weekend. I've went no contact so far he has not attempted to reach out either. Commenter 2: The main question is: Is it really his child? Don't worry, Karma will be knocking soon OOP: No clue and I really don't care at this point it doesn't make a difference either way he cheated they both betrayed me and took advantage of my trust. But who knows because she jus broke up with her bf a few months ago. But considering she's claiming to be over 20 weeks....idk Commenter 3: Is roommate related to step mom? Like why is stepmother soooooo invested in taking this girl and ex boyfriends side? Something ain't right... OOP: Both Jackies mom and My stepmom were friends in Hs/also found out they were both pregnant around the same time so My stepsister and Jackie grew up Together After idk what all happened, but she has drugs problems and my stepmom felt obligated to look over her. Didn't wanna add that bit, but it feels necessary. Commenter 4: Good for you for moving in but why were you basically bankrolling her life? You were literally paying for everything. Grow a backbone next time. OOP: I do have a backbone if I may add. And she was considered "Family" I've known her for 10 years now and Ik her background. Ik She what was going through that's all I’m gonna say. Not here to blast all her problems but I really did Feel Obligated as a "friend" and roomie to help he, same as my stepsister. So u saying to grow a backbone is crazy. I immediately ended it and Moved on the moment I found out all this crazy shit. Ik it doesn't seem like it but at one point she was actually a good friend and he was a Good bf. keyword on WAS. I don't let things drag out u get 1 chance and it's a Wrap. So take it as you will 😊 Commenter 5: Great update. Get the locks changed, get her off the lease. Get a doorbell camera and a new credit card. Put her stuff in garbage bags and drop it at his studio apartment. They are both losers and they deserve each other. OOP: Already working on switching Banks. And yes I do have a ring camera that's how ik They were banging at my door while I wasn't home. I melted and documented that plus all the shit and insults they were yelling at door. And my Brother as a witness bc he was at my apartment when this Shit happened, and they tried kicking in my door till my brother opened the door.   Update #2: February 23, 2026 (four days later) Okay, I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update, so I’m just going to get straight to the point. Every since my last post I’ve been getting nonstop Insults thrown at me from my stepsister and Jackie They've also made multiple post About me And stepsister Said She was disowning me and that me and my brother "just didn't make the cut". Saturday, I invited my dad out to eat at a local place we used to go to when I was a kid. It was just supposed to be me and him, but my mom was there too. I didn’t tell him ahead of time that she would be there. I did, however, ask him not to bring my stepmom because I wanted us to really touch base and because I needed some life advice. At first, he tried to reschedule, but I pushed enough to get him to agree to come. This was a conversation that needed to happen, and it had to happen while my mom was in town. Well, when he showed up, he brought my stepmom anyway. As they were approaching the table, my stepmom was already making comments about how glad she came because I had “ambushed” him by having my mom there. I ignored her and told my dad I was glad he could make it and that we really needed to talk about my living situation with Jackie. Before I could even continue, he started onset how it’s not fair how I’ve been treating Jackie, that I’ve been mean to her, and a bunch of other off-the-wall comments that I’m assuming my stepmom and step sister fed him. So I told him everything from Valentine’s Day up until now. At first, he was quiet, like he was trying to take everything in. Meanwhile, my stepmom kept trying to jump in and tell her side of the story. Eventually, my dad said he needed to go to the bathroom. He was in there for about 30 minutes. During that time, my mom absolutely went in on my stepmom. She didn’t just bring up my situation , she brought up the divorce and how she let this woman ruin her marriage, but she wasn’t going to let her ruin my life too. My mom isn’t loud or dramatic, so I was surprised to see her this way even during the divorce I didn’t see her this angry. My stepmom, on the other hand, just doesn’t know when to shut up. She acts like because she has the marriage and the kids, she’s “won” someone sided battle or something. When my dad finally came out, his eyes were red like he’d been crying. I haven’t seen him like that since the divorce. He hugged me tightly and said he was sorry. That’s when my stepmom stood up and said, “Sorry for what? Your daughter has a lot of growing up to do.” And that’s when my mom told her to shut the fuck up. My dad then said he couldn’t believe all of this was happening under his nose and that he wished I had reached out sooner. But truthfully, even though I didn’t tell him the full story before, I had tried calling and texting him. I mentioned that in some of the comments. I didn’t really get anything back until I pressured him to meet and even then, he still brought my stepmom after I specifically asked him not to. Anyway, that was Saturday morning. I didn’t hear from my dad or stepmom after that. Saturday night, my mom came to my apartment. She’s always been good with finances, so we worked out my budget and started looking at apartments closer to my job. A lot of people asked why I don’t just move closer to my mom, but she lives in a pretty rural area with her partner. I still do online schooling, and my job is really beneficial, and I can’t afford to lose it rn. We got everything figured out. My mom boxed up the baby stuff I hadn’t sold the car seat, the breast pump, a few onesies, and a box of diapers and we dropped it off at Jaden’s apartment. I didn’t see him. I didn’t knock. My mom just left the box at the door, knocked, and walked away. Our landlord did the inspection, and everything came back good on my end. Jackie failed to provide pay stubs or paperwork and has completely ghosted the landlord I think she even blocked the number. They were in the process of evicting her. My mom’s partner was kind enough to offer to pay off the rest of my lease. Thank God. But then Monday morning happened. (this morning) It turns out my stepmom paid to have Jackie’s name removed from the lease before she could be evicted so she could “have a clean start” with her baby. He’s also planning to pay my first month’s rent and deposit for whichever apartment I choose.(or so he claims Doubt it'll happen) This wasn’t what I expected at all, but it’s what happened. On top of that, my dad THEN agreed to co-sign for a 2 bed apartment Jackie and Jaden can move in. My dad makes six times the rent, and Jaden only makes two times, so with my dad co-signing, it works out. I wasn’t thrilled about how all of this happened, but in my head all I heard was: I don’t have to pay for anything. So I signed the papers and went over everything with my landlord and my mom. My mom isn’t happy about it. She feels like this is just enabling them. I asked my dad why he’s being so nice to her and why he still calls Jaden his son. He kept referring to Jaden like he’s his responsibility and that he has to take care of him like tf? For WHAT reason? Jaden has parents. And his parents are well off. Fun fact: my mom actually reached out to Jaden’s parents over the weekend. Turns out they knew he was with Jackie, and apparently I’m “not wife material. and not "Dominican enough For their Family.... Jaden is Dominican My mother is black. My dad is Biracial white/black Stepmom/Stepsis/Jackie are Latina In a way, my dad seems numb to all of this. I haven’t really felt the support I need from him, but honestly, I kind of expected that. When it comes to Jackie and Jaden, they’re two peas in a pod and they deserve each other. Oh, and another fun fact: Jaden’s parents are gonna work on paying off Jackie’s car because his car is a piece of shit and they “need something reliable for the baby.” It’s wild how all this money suddenly appears when it benefits them. Where was all this help when I was the one struggling and helping her? When I was barely making it? It was my mom helping me. Advising me. Doing my budget. My dad was silent. And now suddenly everyone has money and support to throw around. No one’s checked on me or asked me how I feel like my boyfriend cheated on me my roommate ain't close friend got pregnant by him why am I the one being called crazy why is everyone just looking over the fact that he cheated she betrayed my trust this is fucking crazy. It’s all about Jackie and making sure she's not stressed out from her pregnancy. Crazy Mention, but I Hooked up with Tatis("Jackie") fine ass brother and It was a funny as hell Talking shit about you hoes after Cracking.🤣✌🏾 And no there were no souls tied But He was a muncher.🤣✌🏾 Shout out to Dearah and Tati since you wanna Stalk my Post😘 Edit just found out Her due date is Mid-April......so you can go ahead and do the math with that Relevant Comments Commenter: Why is your dad paying for Jackie and Jaden. Neither one are his children, and it seems he didn't really even know what going on. It seems to me the stepmother is making him do this just to spite you OOP: trust me he knows what’s going on, He’s a grown ass man if he’s gonna allow that bitch To control his life that on him.   Update #3: April 13, 2026 (over 1.5 months later) I’m gonna keep this brief because I’m honestly done with this situation and want nothing to do with this crazy, weird ass shit anymore. First off, thank y’all for all the advice. I even saw you guys covered it on the pod, and I really did take everything into consideration. I also had someone DM me saying Jackie made a post on here lying about the whole situation. The account was deleted by the time I saw it, so I have no way of knowing if it was actually her. These past couple of weeks have been the most peaceful my life has been in a while. I moved into my new apartment, and no one except my brother and my mom’s side knows where I live. And no, my dad didn’t give me a dime ,but my mom’s partner really showed up for me when I needed it most. Jaden and Jackie’s apartment didn’t get approved, even with my dad as a cosigner 🤣. They had to work things out with the current landlord, pay extra, and add themselves back onto the lease. So yeah… they’re now living in my old apartment. Also, when Jackie’s brother got his state refund, he gave me $1,000 for everything I dealt with because of his sister. We’ve gone on three dates since then, just taking things slow and enjoying the friendship. Now about the pregnancy Jackie had been lying about her dates this whole time. Over Easter weekend, she had an emergency C-section. The baby is healthy and so is she, and from what I’ve heard, she’s recovering well. Jaden broke up with her three hours after the baby was born. During the delivery, Jackie made Jaden wait in the hallway and had my stepsister in the room instead. Even after the baby was born, she still didn’t want Jaden in there. When his mom showed up and asked why he wasn’t in the room, it turned into an argument. Jackie finally let him come in, but he took one look at the baby and left the hospital. He ghosted her until it was time for her and the baby to go home. My stepsister ended up bringing her home, and Jaden has been MIA ever since. After all of this, my stepsister of all people called me apologizing and told me everything that happened. Jackie’s baby looks exactly like my dad. Edit: I am not in Contact with my dad/stepmom/Jackie for the past couple Weeks. Only reason my Stepsister was able to contact me is bc she was reaching out my bff About me Getting Contact with her asap and Thats When she told me what all went down. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Oh. That was an unexpected twist. But if the baby is your dad’s that explains a lot of things on why he was behaving how he was. Guilt can be a big driving force. But also, can I just say: the cheater got cheated and I think it’s delicious karma and oh so funny. 😂 How is your step mom taking all this? OOP: Literally no idea😂I’m no Contact with her😂 I only know What my Stepsister and Circle tell me. But I do no My dad tried reaching out to my Mom for "advice" my Mom Didn’t Know what advice or what He needed but she quickly reminded him of where there Stood and hung up that phone😂. Damn That probably was the confession🤣. Commenter 2: And also his family that was ok with him cheating because she was Latina. Bet they loved this plot twist. OOP: Which is hilarious because my Stepsister Sent me a Pic of their baby and When I tell you that baby Took ALL my dad features, its hilarious. OOP on the baby looking like her dad's OOP: Bingo√ When you look at my dad He visually has more Black features then, Including his complexion. My dad has light Hazel eyes And 3c hair. Both Jackie and Jaden Have Brown eyes and Naturally Straight and 1C hair. The baby eyes aren’t exactly Hazel but they DEF aint Brown the baby has pretty bright eyes and When comparing the photo to my little Brother they Looked almost identical besides the complexion. And Curly head of dark Brown hair and complexion is darker than Both Jackie and Jaden who are both considered a lighter complexion. Commenter 3: So wait…how long has your step-sister been in your fathers’ realm? If it’s around nine years he could have been grooming Jackie? Your poor brother too! OOP: My moms and dad divorced When I was in middle school. Jackie and my Stepsister were Always together same bus route, Classes, Sports, Neighborhood ALWAYS around. Commenter 4: So she picked a fight with Jaden because she knew that he wasn’t the baby daddy?! Lawd jeezus OOP: Jaden’s Mom was basically calling Jaden a bad dad for not being In there with her and Jaden didn’t Like that comment and They went back and forth, that’s When Jackie Allowed Jaden to Come meet the baby to Stop the argument. Commenter 5: Would love to hear your stepmom left your dad and he had to leave the house and move in with Jackie to take care of their new child. He will live in shame while Jackie's parents will be fully disgusted in more ways than one. It will not surprise me if they completely abandon her after this. What a mess your dad and Jackie has made. Jaden is a pos too but at least he was able to get out of child support and ghost the whole thing.. maybe this chaos will teach him that being a cheater is never worth the drama/shame/hurting others. OOP: Her parents Have ALWAYS been in and out of Jackies life due to addiction problems in the past. Doubt they’ll step up but only time will tell.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

As someone who fosters cats and dogs, it annoys me to no end this myth that cats especially don’t need baths. Perhaps you’re one of the good ones who will not abandon a pet but even some of my personal pets have required baths as they got old or had a severe injury or SOMETHING (e.g fleas). About half of the cats in my care have required multiple baths. Definitely way more than half required one. Now I will admit I take on medical cases frequently but the thing is, you cannot guarantee you will have a perfectly healthy, self grooming cat for the entire duration of its life. Please, while your cat is young and it’s easy to help them not be afraid of a new experience, play with their paws, trim their nails, and give them the occasional quick bath. The first time, if it’s not actually necessary, it can really just be a light soak in just a bit of warm water and no soap. Then increase a little bit more and more from there on. It will help tremendously should your cat ever be abandoned, ever get injured, ever get too old to self groom, or simply have a nasty accident due to eating something gross or having a bad scare. This is a picture of my foster, Tubb, getting a bath and a picture of my tub after the bath. Please keep in mind I and the vet have been desperately brushing and using wet cleaning pet wipes daily prior to finally giving in to a bath. Tubb is an A+ gentleman who’s going to his forever home tomorrow. I guarantee you the vast majority of cats do not take this well to bath time and is frequently even more disgusting than poor Tubb. Tubb is geriatric and is also an insulin dependent diabetic. submitted by /u/HelloPanda22 to r/cats [link] [comments]

I’ve been tipping $12, which is ~20%. The suggested lowest option is $17. I don’t understand why they’re all so high. submitted by /u/Independent_Yam5185 to r/tipping [link] [comments]

Hey all, I am SO UPSET with my neighbors. They have all these expensive trucks, tools, ATVs, and they meticulously care for their yard... but they neglect their pitbull. I saw him when I was taking my own dogs for a walk and he came right up to me. He was very friendly. At first I thought he was hit by a car how badly he was limping. His tail looks like he's been broken and never reset properly. His paws looks like they may have been crushed at some point and are twisted all weird. His poor nails are severely overgrown and he's very unwashed. He is the SWEETEST BIG HEADED BOY! My heart was heavy when someone told me it was my neighbor's dog... and I returned him. I thought that's the best thing. I have my hands full, I have a full house of 2 dogs & 3 cats. And I don't even own so it's tough already finding rentals as is. But I just felt SO BAD returning him. The neighbor wasn't even happy to see him. She just herded him back into their garage. Then today he got out again... and he waddled right over to my doorstep again. He remembers me and came back. 😭 I had to return him yet again and I felt SO BAD. I hesitated and considered keeping him for a bit to do his nails and bathe him, I feel like I should have. I walked him back to his house and rang their ring cam and what did my neighbor tell me? "Hey just leave him outside he'll probably be fine" LIKE EXCUSE ME?! It's SO SAD AND HEARTBREAKING. I dunno what to do. I'm considering asking them if they will at least let me groom him because he desperately needs a bath and nails trim. Some friends have told me to ask them to take him, and see if I can find a better home for him. He's literally such a sweet boy. It's so hard to see him suffer, he's absolutely in a ton of joint pain you can see it in his hips and legs. It looks like a combo of bad breeding, neglect, and maybe old age (I don't know how old he is). Has anyone been a situation like this and how did you handle it? If he gets out again I dunno what to do. 😭 I know the reality is that in many ways he's lucky just to have a home. It's so sad though. I have to hug my dogs. They don't know how lucky they have it. EDIT: I want to clarify my situation, a lot of folks suggesting I adopt him, I can't unfortunately. I have both a reactive dog and a senior cat. To me honestly my cat's health and stress levels are the most important because she has a lot of issues and struggles to eat, dealing with thyroid balancing medications with her. I don't want to put extra stress on her. Given, I don't know, maybe things would settle and work out, but I just want to put this out there that it wouldn't be an easy thing to take any extra dog into the house right now. :( UPDATE: I went over there today with a little care package I made for him with treats, and I have a spare collar I wanted to give to the dog (because he has no collar). But nobody answered the doorbell I assume they were not home. I'll try again tomorrow. :( UPDATE 2: I went over and talked with the owner. I brought with me a bag of treats and some bully sticks I had to give to the dog. I just told her "Oh hi! I love your dog he is so cute!" And she awkwardly but cordially smiled and said "oh thanks, he loves you too". I offered the bully sticks but she said he has sensitive teeth and can't eat them, but she took the other treats I brought. I asked if he's older and she said he is 12 years old. I feel a bit of relief after talking with them. He's an older dog, and from the looks of it, probably has some bad genetic health stuff going on which explains a lot with the waddling (joint pain) and general condition. When she refused the bully sticks due to his teeth I knew they have at least some level of care for the dog if they are careful about what to give him. So I'm definitely relieved to find that out! I'm not sure about his nails but I didn't press about those. Anyway I told her he is no trouble at all and he is welcome to visit me anytime. And offered to pet sit him if they ever needed it while away. So at least they know they have a neighbor who does care if they are out of town they don't have to leave him completely alone. I think about the dogs in shelters, many of whom never get out or get any home, and at least this big guy is fed, watered and has a roof over his head. I feel sometimes as someone who is passionate about animal's wellbeing that I let my heart do a lot of the heavy lifting. After taking a step back and taking with them I realized he's gonna be okay. He is 12 years old, and I don't think pushing for a rehoming situation for him at this point would be necessarily the best thing for him. It is hard for me because I want EVERY dog to be as loved as I love my babies. But a lot of people don't see dogs the way we do here. I don't think that he's being abused though, if the owner was aware of his tooth sensitivity and turned down the bully sticks, she is at least aware of some of his health issues. I want to say thanks everyone for your comments! I get so riled up over pitbulls in the best way. I love them SO MUCH. And I cannot resist a big headed house hippo. submitted by

I am OP! u/ThrowRA_PartySwitch Trigger Warnings: mentions of mental illness, ableism, possible concerns of sexual harassment Mood Spoiler: Kinda a bummer, but everyone is okay at the end. Original BORU post! Archived and posted by u/Choice_Evidence1983 Originally posted to r/relationship_advice Original post (removed but reposted to BORU in full) Original Post: recovered with rareddit - May 4, 2023 I am getting married in December and my partner and I are looking to have a mid-sized party, probably about 75 people, comprised of our social, familial, and professional circles. I am 33F, partner is 34M, and my friend, Anna is 34F. Her wife, Bernice, is 48F. We are in Canada. Anna is my best friend from uni. Anna is divorced with two kids, and has been married to Bernice for five years. Bernice loves Anna, and that's about it. Bernice is happily and consistently unemployed. Bernice has never attended or hosted a social event in anything other than a crop top and knee-length pencil skirt (neither fit). Bernice has two points of conversation: alien abductions and the 2008 blockbuster video game, Lego Indiana Jones. Attempts to gently lead conversation beyond those points proves futile, unless Bernice thinks the person in question may want to have sex, in which case, she suddenly develops the cognizance to switch topics and ask them so directly. I don't think anyone has ever taken Bernice up on her offers to have sex with them at random, largely due to the above, but also likely due to the fact that she rarely, if ever, showers or grooms. I have seen this happen at birthday parties, game nights, bar crawls, grocery stores, and school events. Nobody in Bernice's social circle has ever excluded her from participating in anything. It's probably pretty obvious that Bernice is neurodivergent, but to nobody's surprise, she leverages neurodivergence as a means of asserting how special she is, instead of using it as a pathway to improve her relationships and sense of self. She is perfectly content to exist exactly as she has in the past and will likely do so until she dies. Lately she has explored whether she has dissociative identity disorder. It's a dead-end road. Anna is happy, per her own admission, and I trust that. I don't have any reason to doubt that she is making the right decisions for her relationship and family. She has told me many times that she loves Bernice and that she intends to stay in the relationship. I appreciate that she is direct with me. But I can't earnestly be around Bernice for more than five minutes, and that sincerely impedes the amount of time I can spend with Anna, as Bernice attaches herself to Anna so intensely that it's like having a third child around when we get together. To Anna's credit, she is aware that I do not like to spend time around Bernice, but is sad that we can't all socialize together well. She has never made me feel badly for this. I love Anna's two children. I would like them at my wedding, and I would love Anna at my wedding, too. It wouldn't be the same without her. But imagining Bernice approaching a colleague, or a friend makes my stomach churn. I am struggling hard with a tactful way to say, "Your wife will suck the life and energy out of my party by monopolizing the attention of either you or my guests, and potentially making them feel sexually harassed" while still inviting Anna and her two kids to the event. I am considering coming at it from a boundary-related standpoint and tell Anna that I can't have Bernice at the event, given how she makes people feel uncomfortable. I don't know if it presents a mean double-standard to let other guests have a plus-one and not Anna, but I can't have Bernice at my wedding. TL;DR: Best friend's wife is mentally ill; I don't want her at my wedding. I don't know how to bring it up or assert the boundary without feeling like there's a double standard at play. How do I make it clear she is not invited? First update - January 2, 2024 We're married now! And the wedding was wonderful. Wonderful, but bittersweet -- I realized now, and when I eventually spoke to Anna, that the wonderful part was having the management, and dread, I was experiencing, of Bernice's presence off my plate when I already had so many other elements to worry about to ensure the success of our special day. When I spoke with Anna, I tried to provide as much perspective as I could and center my concrete experiences with Bernice over my feelings. Anna sent a thumbs-up emoji and we haven't spoken since, and I doubt we'll ever speak again. Bernice messaged me separately and said something along the lines of, "Oh well, I know people think I'm annoying, I thought you'd understand," and I didn't respond. I reflected a great deal on my relationship with Anna, and I realized that so much of it was rooted in managing the codependence she shared in her relationship, and that our friendship hadn't looked the way it did when we were in university together for a long time. In the time that passed after we stopped speaking, a great emotional weight was lifted off my chest realizing that so many of the problems and annoyances Anna had brought to me were no longer mine to solve as a result of her not having a supportive, adult partner in her life. While I loved her, and loved helping her troubleshoot, I was taking on a role that was outsized and ultimately caused resentment on my end. I am trying to be mindful of the friendships I have now, the roles I play with each person, and how I interact and engage with each person's significant other. While this friendship was unsalvageable, I believe it offers a beneficial lesson for my other relationships. Thanks to all of you for your advice, kindness, and especially your compliments toward my writing style -- it just flows out of me! Update from 2026 - February 17, 2026 How do I (33F) make it clear that my best friend's (34F) mentally ill wife (48F) is not invited to my wedding? OP checking in here -- thought about this over two years and realized I owed an update, some clarity, and a little info. I know this is late as hell, but I didn't realize this thread was here after the initial content was removed! I'm glad it was saved for posterity. I'm grateful to the comments from people who empathized with me, and I'm grateful for the comments challenging some of the language I used and my means of communication. Here are a few clarifying facts. But first, the update. My 2025 update: Someone who used to run in the same circle as Anna and I (another friend from uni) told me that one of Anna's children is estranged from her now and lives with an aunt and also, that Anna is now in a full-time BDSM slave relationship with Bernice that is obvious enough for an acquaintance to pick up on. (The dad has been out of the picture for a long time, so it was always just Anna and her kids until Bernice entered the picture.) Haven't spoken to, heard from, or engaged with Anna or Bernice or the kids. Bernice had a partner move in who is about twenty five years younger than she is. To my knowledge, that person is also her full-time slave girl. Elaborations on the situation: Yup, Bernice is trans. Plot twist, I'm also a transwoman! My anxiety over being transphobic towards another trans person, especially one with a history of mental illness, made me lose sleep. I hope that explains the comments about transphobia. This was never a post about a perfect, neurotypical, hetero People Magazine wedding where the only outlier was a trans boogeyman. As for Bernice's choice of garb, nothing to do with her passing/not passing/having hair/not having hair -- her clothes didn't fit, they weren't appropriate for the season/occasion (If she wasn't an absolute tool I'd have taken the girl dress shopping with me and covered the cost of the dress) and again, she didn't shower. I feel like asking guests to bathe and adhere to a dress code is a very low bar of entry for a wedding. I wasn't asking Bernice to spend money or wear a certain colour or perform outside of what I consider the social norm for a wedding. My grandpa showed up in a t-shirt. Didn't care. A few friends got a little tipsy and knocked over a vase of flowers at one point. Totally fine. My friends cleaned up and apologized. My grandpa shook the hands of every guest. It's about Bernice as a person. Sending Anna a text wasn't my preference at all. It was a last resort. I should have included context that I had asked Anna several times to get together in person to have a conversation about the wedding. At first, the responses were, "Great, when can Bernice and I come over?" And when I asked to meet alone and she asked why, I said it was about Bernice. Anna refused to meet alone or discuss Bernice and the wedding at all. I think she had an idea this may have been coming and was in deep denial. Literally, the only way I could communicate the message to Anna was through text -- why not email? Because they shared a fucking email account! Should I have involved Bernice in the conversation and emailed or just had it in person? I still wonder about that sometimes. hat brings me to another point -- when I said, "but to nobody's surprise, she leverages neurodivergence as a means of asserting how special she is, instead of using it as a pathway to improve her relationships and sense of self," that was a literal statement, not my own judgment. In conversation, she would speak of an old manager who fired her after a week on the job or an encounter with a stranger at the grocery store and the conclusion would always be, "it's because they're ableist because I'm autistic," or "well, obviously you wouldn't understand why I ask people to have sex with me, I'm a direct communicator and you should educate yourself about autism." I'm neurodivergent. My husband is neurodivergent. She is, unfortunately, the exact worst stereotype of several marginalized populations, most of whom are completely functional. Bernice is the 1% of people who are just not. She's a person and I treated her like a person, albeit a person I truly disliked. I'm allowed to have boundaries. Regarding the conversation, it would have turned from "this is what I need from you to attend my wedding, or for you not to attend," to "you hate me because I'm autistic" with zero self-reflection or personal accountability. I wasn't asking her to suppress her transness. I was asking her to suppress the most uncomfortable, dangerous, off-putting parts of her personality. I read that SIL poly relationship thing and want to start a four-person support group (I will not ask them to have sex) now. I hope they're doing better too because that guy sounds like a nightmare. ( u/HeyLaddieHey thank you for being a link hero!) Neurodivergence is not a mental illness. Autism is not a mental illness. There was something additional going on in addition to Bernice's autism that I could not identify, but from a behavioral standpoint, struck me as a mental illness and not neurodivergence alone. I should have been more specific in my language. "Center my concrete experiences" = one time Anna watched my two dogs for a weekend and Bernice 'let them out for a walk' and they were lost for most of the day. Anna apologized. Bernice pretended it was an honest mistake and that "she always let her dogs out and they always just came back". One time we had a dinner party with some of our shared friends and made two roast chickens. I carved it into pieces -- breast, leg, thigh. Bernice took four pieces to herself and I split a piece with my then-boyfriend/now husband. She ate it and said, "It's fine, but here's how I would have cooked it." Bernice and Anna once stopped by while they were in the area, and when I was catching up with the kids, Bernice went into the kitchen, opened up an unopened bottle of wine, and poured herself a glass to the brim, then offered Anna, the designated driver, a glass. (Anna did not accept and did not drink and drive.) One time I met up with Anna at a park with her kids and another couple I know with kids. Bernice 'had the day off' and showed up unexpectedly and started talking about how she bought Anna a ball gag the other day and how good it looked. In front of my friends' kids. I confronted each of these indigents as I saw fit. I forgave the chicken. I asked her directly not to discuss kink in front of minors ("something something special interest") I was enraged about the dogs but forgave Anna because she immediately jumped into action, and this was at the start of Bernice being Bernice. All this to say it wasn't just a laundry list of mean things because I'm a big ol' meanie. I sent Anna money when her car broke down and she couldn't get to work. I always sent birthday gifts to her kids and came to their parties. I was front row at tee ball games when I could make them. I offered her a lot of emotional support when she had issues with her kids' dad, or her kids, or work. She did that for me, but that went down significantly after she started seeing Bernice. I don't think I ever intruded or overstepped in Anna's life. I wasn't jealous of Bernice, and Anna and I never had a sexual or romantic relationship together. Being complimented on how I wrote this was appreciated because it was cathartic to have validation after a traumatic event. Do you think I wanted to further isolate a nearly lifelong friend and a fellow transwoman and terminate this friendship? This was a hard fucking decision. The wedding was just the catalyst. If it hadn't been the wedding, it would have been a funeral, or a child's birthday party, or another behavioral incident. There's only so much a person can take. To throw Bernice a bone (not a sexual one), they were in an open and ethical relationship. Ethical, being that Anna knew Bernice was always trying to find people to have sex with. Using events involving more than two people as a swinger's mixer, not ethical. But Bernice was not a cheater. I don't know why Anna thought this 'flirting' was acceptable. Bernice was confrontational and abrasive if people expressed opinions in conversation she didn't like. She had only two areas of interest, but a lot of opinions about politics, sports (she was the kind of person to call things 'sports ball'), celebrities, and food. This included small group conversations she might not have been a part of. Like the type you might see at a wedding! For instance, if someone said to someone else, "Lego Indiana Jones sucks and I like Bernice's Least Favorite Video Game" at the party, it would not have been unlikely that Bernice would have gotten in that person's face and shouted at them, then justified it because of autism. Shouting is not euphemistic here. Bernice was fucking loud. I don't know why I was the only one in the friend group who found Bernice's behavior offensive and excluded her over time. For all I know, other friends were uncomfortable but didn't feel like they could confront it. I think it's great that people included her, and please know that I tried hard. Nobody likes it when their friend is a bitch about their boyfriend or girlfriend, and I did my best to make Bernice feel welcome and tried to get to know her. This post was the culmination of a lot of headaches for very little reciprocation from Anna. Bernice was the explosion, but Anna was the slow-burning fuse. I saw something that tugged on my heartstrings this year and reminded me of Anna, so I dusted off my older brother's old Wii and played a little Lego Indiana Jones. It was great. I wish Bernice had been tolerable enough for me to tell her that it was a fun game. Now that I'm reflecting on all of this, Bernice might be narcissistic*. (Thanks for the lesson in N/n distinction, everyone!) I don't think I'll have any further updates after this. Thanks for the support, the laughs, the encouragement, and the constructive criticism. Finally, I'm not identifying them or providing any photos. If I'm allowed to rip on their shitty behavior online, they're allowed to stay anonymous. No more requests. If you know someone like them, nip it in the bud. I waited and it escalated badly. Know your boundaries and stick to them. submitted by /u/ThrowRA_PartySwitch to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hi, I really don’t know what else to do right now, I’ve reached to to so many different animals support groups but I’m not getting answers I’m hoping I might be able to find some cat owners who have been through what i’m going through to offer their insights. Sorry for bad grammar and spelling this post is long. I adopted a shelter cat 2 years ago from a shelter, she was pulled from the euthanasia list at a kill shelter from a foster pledge that I agreed to care for her while that foster worked things out and make space for her. The shelter told us she was showing some “slight fear based aggression” and would likely thrive outside of a shelter environment. I agreed because obviously a loud shelter would be stressful for any living thing. They informed me the cats had manx syndrome and was fully incontient (doesn’t tolerate diapers and is very much a “imma gonna pee/poop right here where i’m standing cat) I did my research and set up a place in my bathroom with pee pads, normal litter i’ve used with my other cat, warm spaces, cat trees, scratch posts and all the other fixings and brought the cat home to await for her foster. I kept her separate from my cat. Well the foster ghosted me shortly after I took the cat to vet and I have not been able to find another willing to take her in two years, so I accidentally adopted a cat for the rest of my life when I really just meant to get her off of a euthanasia list lol. Within the first month I spent over 5k on vet care and tests (insurance covers nothing since it’s a preexisting condition) She had some teeth pulled but other than was a healthy cat. Her urinating wherever she was concerned me since it wasn’t typical cat behavior, but all her tests came back clean and she is a typical cat apart for the taillessness. After about a month I realized there wasn’t any medical answer to explain why she peed/pooed like that (sorry to hear gross) but it was incredibly frustrating because she was still too aggressive for me to get within a few feet of, much less groom so I worried for her. The vet prescribed prozac and gabapentin. Y’all the gabapentin turned her into a monster! I went in to feed her one day (about 5 weeks since I brought her home I believe) and she latched onto my leg and starting marking her paws around it, she ended up with her claws around my neck and I had to hop in the shower to get her to let go. I went to the ER and got 12 stitches and had to go on an antibiotic I was as sick as a dog for weeks after this as well and tbh our relationship never recovered. I really think this was the beginning of the end. I did more research and reached out to a vet behaviorist and we took her off the gab because it can lead to worsening aggression in some cats. Over the years I tried different meds but none worked. I obviously did not try to start introductions with my resident cat because duh. I followed my behaviorist’s advice, I read outside the door for hours, put on videos for her, tried to get my scent (and my resident cats scent) on the blankets in the bathroom. None of it worked, whenever she smelled my cats scent he’d hiss so loud i’d hear it through the door (I also had a camera set up in there) Whenever I came in to feed her she attack me like the first instance where i went to the ER. I have to fully suit up with a helmet and shin guards to feed her and even with all that she would still latch on my arms/legs and crawl up my body. We switched anti-anxiety meds and I took her back to my vet, well this was the first of many vets in my area who told me they could no longer treat my cat while she’s awake because of safety concerns and she’d need to be sedated. So for the next appointment we fully sedated her and she was finally groomed and got claw capped, again nothing was wrong so I went to a neurological specialist who cost me nearly 10k in appointments and tests over a year and I still did not get any answers. At this point I had to move forward with introducing the cats because the new cat was coming up on a year in the bathroom and me and the behaviorist agreed it might benefit her to have free roam. (catio too) Well it didn’t work and she went crazy. She ripped painting off the wall and chewed up the carpet broke into the cabinet and ate human food…this was within the 20mintue period it took me to let her out, she how she did and to wrangle her up. Still the behaviorist said to keep letting her out. Well one day my resident cat managed to escape the space I put him to separate him from the new cat and she attacked him. I was literally watching the new cat walk into another room and heard a terrible scream and rushed in. The fight was very bad and my old cat had to go to the emergency vet and get surgery..boom another 3K gone. I rehomed him to my parents for his safety and began looking at rescues and fosters to take my new cat to because it was clear to me nothing was improving. I’ve called 45 shelters in illinois and none will take her because of her aggression. I know a lot of people (including a behavioralist I’ve seen) don’t believe cats can have behavioral issues and that’s it’s just them responding to their environment but I don’t know what i’m doing wrong. I’ve had 4 cats and dealt with some issues but nothing like this. I’ve posted her on my local facebook groups and reached out to some known fosters and nobody can take her because everybody involved in the cat world always has a pet cat…that she can’t live with. She can’t be a barn cat either because she’s disabled and barn cats are kept in groups and she’s too dangerous. I have no clue what else to do, she is spayed, is fed regularly on a schedule, has plenty of toys trees and things to scratch. I try to play with her everyday (everyday ends with her trying to get under my helmet and get to my neck which is genuinely scary because she’s not claw capped all the time (nails grows and it’s hard to find vets and groomers willing to take her, so right now I drive 50 mintues for her regular vet (he is the only one i’ve found who doesn’t need to sedate her and she acts like a asylum patient when she wakes up…, an hour for the neurologist and nearly 2 hours with traffic. for the behavioral appointments) (that I used to go to every two weeks so you can imagine the time lost to this, doesn’t help that i’m in buttfuck nowhere Illinois) She’s was on prozac for 6 months, burisphone for another 6, sertaline and fluoxetine for anxiety and none did anything I honestly don’t think she has anxiety I think she is just aggressive…. Besides the cursed gabapentin she’s done trazodone and that didn’t do a whole lot but make her terrified and she hid in a corner and hissed for hours. I hate my life now, I can’t have friends or family over. Literally nobody visits me and I can’t leave town because there’s no one to watch my cat. I had to give up my cat of 12 years who I do actually love back to my parents (they raised him it’s fine but I miss seeing him everyday) I can’t have any decorations because she tears them off the wall and my entire house even though it’s covered with pee pads smells like absolute shit 24/7. I have feilways and pheromones but it doesn’t change the behavior. I have to spend hours cleaning everyday just for it to be ruined the next. It looks and smells like I live in a zoo I let the cat free roam when i’m home and either go hide in my bedroom if I need to do things or have to fully cover all exposed skin with gloves sweater layers of pants, boots, etc if I want to interact. It’s been two years and I’ve never even pet my cat, hell I haven’t been within 3 feet of her unless it’s because she’s lunging on me or attacking me. Obviously no fosters are interested (also i’m not blaming people at all if I knew this cat had more than “slight fear based aggression” I probably would not have agreed to take her on either) and I don’t know what to do, she’s 3 and I know this is horrible to admit but the thoughts of spending the rest of my 20s and then 30s focused on nothing but this cat is devastating. Literally everything in my life has become second to this cat. I understand it’s a commitment I made. But when it’s been years since i’ve traveled, seen old friends been to concerts or gone out it gets very depressing and lonely. What else can I do? I’ve seen 2 behaviorist and their advice is getting redundant, the cats doesn’t have any neurological or medical issues (minus manx) and the vets have no idea what to do and just try different sedation…none works. Unless she’s sleeping she’s angry with me. I just hate this and don’t know what to do. Sometimes I’ll think about my future and cry because I know i’ll still be dealing with this cat during what’s supposed to be the best years of my life…but nowhere will take her but a kill shelter and that’s a death sentence for a cat like her. Has anyone dealt with aggressive and destructive behavior like this? What was the cause? How did you manage? I know nothing of her life before me. submitted by /u/Creepy-Dealer7518 to r/CATHELP [link] [comments]

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submitted by /u/Kesoooooganyan to r/Shihtzu [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is burner6293936259. They posted in r/TrueOffMyChest and their own account. Previous BORU was compiled by the lovely u/KittenDealinMama and was posted here 3 years ago. I have added more comments and dates. Thanks to the anonymous redditor who suggested this. Letters changed to names for readability. New Update marked with ****\* Do NOT Comment on Original Posts. Latest Update is 2 months old. PLEASE READ TRIGGER WARNINGS. Trigger Warnings: animal abuse; animal cruelty; child abuse; child neglect; educational neglect; possible child sexual abuse material; possible grooming; hoarding; hazardous home environment; untreated mental illness; medical neglect; Mood Spoiler: Awful. No other word for it. Editor's note: I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the rage I felt compiling this. Original Post: December 5, 2022 Burner account. I feel so fucking stressed and guilty. Guilty for calling, but also guilty for waiting so long to call. I also called animal control and they will be at her door in a few hours. I’m in college and the new semester just started and no way am I going to be able to focus in class today. My niblings are severely neglected. They don’t attend school, and one has an IEP for a diagnosed developmental delay and has long hair matted down to the scalp. Their house is a house of horrors just filled with garbage and urine and feces from the animals that they don’t take care of. They all sleep in one bedroom because the house is filled to the brim with trash. I’ve tried cleaning, I’ve tried hiring people, I’ve tried begging. Nothing has worked. I’ve spend thousands of dollars trying to get this house cleaned up and nothing gets through to her. My sister needs psychiatric help and she won’t get it. The woman I knew 5+ years ago would have never treated living breathing creatures like this. I don’t even know who she is anymore. She’s such a liar that I have no idea what’s the truth when she’s talking to me. The school is on the verge of taking her to court for educational neglect. She keeps them out until dawn door dashing and then they sleep until 4pm and do it all over again. The kids don’t have friends or social lives. They barely know how to act around people. I’m so disgusted and sad. My sister was my best friend but I can barely look at her without feeling like I’m going to be sick. Our parents have washed their hands of this and don’t want to be involved anymore. They’ve tried everything I have and have given her so much money because she refuses to get a job. I don’t want them to be mad at me for calling, but I didn’t see them doing it. I have two kids of my own to take care of and taking on my niblings would completely disrupt the household but if they get removed from her care, I’d rather they came to me while she gets help. Our grandmother just died and now I feel even more guilty for calling because she was close to her and her mental health is already in the toilet. I feel so lost and alone in this. ETA Her children’s father (biological father of only one child but raised the other child) died unexpectedly in 2020. He did EVERYTHING for her. Cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids school parenting and hygiene, and took care of the kids in their in home daycare. They weren’t really together by the end of his life as he was an alcoholic and he was removed from the household legally after he started being investigated for child pornography. Her life is a mess. But losing the stability that he gave her, absolutely rocked her. Things crumbled when he was removed from the home and the responsibility was shifted to her. Then when he died, it made it a lot worse as she still loved him. Some of OOP's Comments: CrystalQueen3000: You absolutely did the right thing, it’s a tough thing to do but those children are suffering and so are the animals. OOP: The animals don’t even see daylight. They’re caged and kept in a bathroom. Two of her dogs have died mysteriously and just been left to rot. She won’t let me in to see their current condition but her friend tells me one has a huge mass and is very sick and needs to be put down To another commenter: Wow that sounds so similar to our situation. She did have 4 dogs and 2 cats, but they keep mysteriously dying over the last few months. She now has 2 dogs and 1 car [cat]. Her children aren’t locked in their rooms, but they aren’t able to go out with friends or have friends over. They are very isolated from the outside world. I don’t know how people can think these behaviors are okay. How broken can your moral compass be?? Age of kiddos/stressor to make sister unwell: Her children are 9 and 13. Her children’s father died a year and a half ago, and while she was unwell before then, his death really rattled the entire family. He did the cooking, cleaning, and made sure the kids went to school for 10 years. When she started having to do it herself, everything was just chaos. So while I believe it’s not the entire reason, it is at least a HUGE piece of it. I just want her to get treatment. Deleted commenter: He did all the housework? What did she do? OOP: Basically nothing if I’m honest. They had an in home daycare and he did all the work with that too. Next-End-4696: The only concern is you didn’t do this sooner. Those children are being severely neglected. OOP: Things didn’t come to a head until about a year ago. I have spent thousands of dollars cleaning and hiring people to help her. I thought I could fix her. I wish I would have called sooner but it took a lot of detective work and money spent on my part to get to this point. How would sis find out you called? I’m thinking she will have a pretty good guess based on the information. Not many people know what I know. She is a compulsive liar and manipulator. Taking the kids: Thank you so much. I absolutely would not let them go to the system. I’m ready for them to come to me, but with how mad she is right now, I’m not sure if she can tell them she doesn’t want them with me. Tradalyn: As a child psychologist who specialized in therapeutic treatment with sexually abused kids, the "casual mention" of cp charges on BIL and them running a home daycare are horrifying. Please tell me that your sister's children have been evaluated for sexual abuse. OOP: Yes they were as far as I know. I think that’s partially why the school has let this go on so far. They were evaluated after everything. Public_Particular464: Aren't u in college tho? I thought u said that so if u are how will that work out so u have help? OOP: My partner is a stay at home dad which is immensely helpful. We’d have to utilize my parents and maybe after school programs. It will definitely be tough. Update (Same Post, probably December 6) Update: Since people have been asking to be brought along for the ride. I have heard absolutely nothing about animal control. From my sister, or from the animal control officer that I spoke to. He was going to stop in Monday morning and it’s now Wednesday afternoon. I’m not sure if maybe he did stop in and nobody told me, but nothing really to update there. I’ve also not heard anything about DCF/CPS. My sisters best friend has been keeping me updated on what’s happening. She has also been trying to clean up her house and has been driving two hours to bring my niblings to school so that my sister doesn’t need to. I do not agree with this, though I am glad that they are going to school. I told her friend that she needs to not bail her out because if she can’t do these things without her, then we’re not really helping her. I’ve been right where she is. She is basically me 6 months ago. Her best friend is not only driving 2 hours (both ways) to help my sister, but she has taken time off of work to clean her house. I don’t think she can get very far on her own, but my niece somewhat has a bedroom floor now. She’s also been sending me things to post on the market place to sell, including a rabbit enclosure that I had no idea she had. That one mysteriously died as well I’m told. The kids have gone to school the last 3 days (late), because of my sisters friend. I fear she is just making the problem worse by doing it for her, but at the same time, the kids need to go. It’s such a hard place to be. She told me that my sister is still sleeping and it is currently 2pm because she was doordashing all night. I don’t know how she plans to keep this up. Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice. It’s been so nice and encouraging to read through. You have no idea how much it helps. Update Post 1: December 8, 2022 My sister is VERY upset with me because I told our mother that her children aren’t going to school even after the meeting she had with the school telling her she has until the 19th to clean up her act or they’re taking her to court for educational neglect. My mother wasn’t happy with her and called her and told her off, to which my sister told her to “lose her number”. She is still not speaking to me, but she will get over it. She probably won’t get over the CPS thing though.. I haven’t heard anything from them or from animal control and she hasn’t said anything about it. So it’s still a waiting game. The school made a plan with her to have the kids at school at 7:15 because she told them the problem is that the kids don’t want to go and be watched when they walk in. (Because she is constantly late bringing them to school and they’re walking in midday), and every day this week they have been at least an hour and a half late despite her friends best efforts. Her best friend has been keeping me updated on things and she has been driving 2 hours each way in order to bring the kids to school and when she stayed the night, she slept in the garage because the smell of urine and feces was so intoxicating. Her best friend went back home last night to get some rest before she starts work again tomorrow (she took a week off of work for my sister) It’s currently 9:30 am and I haven’t seen her location move from her house and so I know that her kids are probably not going to school today. She told me getting up wasn’t the problem, but her best friend told me she’s been staying up all night door dashing and sleepin until 2-3pm while she brings them to school. What is her plan now that her friend went back to her own life?? Her best friend is where I was a year ago. She thinks she can fix her. She bought the kids new clothes for school because none of them fit, and has attempted to clean her house. She spent 12 hours cleaning and has hardly made a dent. She found two huge dead rats in common areas that the dogs have been peeing on (probably to mask the smell) I am so fucking disgusted. She told me her kids are not going anywhere and to stop rearranging my house for them, but she is not doing anything to make any changes for her kids. I want the kids here so badly. ETA I have just called CPS again. I gave them all of the new information that I have from her best friend, as well as sent them pictures of the kids bedrooms. There is a pellet gun on the floor in one of the pictures and I’m sure they won’t take kindly to that. I also told them about the moldy unusable fridge, broken oven, caked urine and feces all over everything, and the huge dead rats that were found. I hope they get in there quickly. Update (same day) Another update: I called and spoke to the school. She did not get them to school, and ignored all of their calls and texts and emails. She didn’t even bother to tell anybody that they weren’t going. This is against their agreement, and doesn’t bode well for her. The front desk lady seemed frustrated as well, and seemed very well informed of the situation. They’ve really given her every opportunity to get them to school. She is still giving me the cold shoulder. I texted her and asked if she needed me to bring the kids to school tomorrow and that I’d give them breakfast. Nothing. The principal is supposed to give me a call back at some point and they will potentially start doing welfare checks with the police when they don’t show up. I am one of the kids emergency contacts and so they were more than happy to talk to me and seemed on the same page. I asked earlier this afternoon about doing one today and it seemed like they might since I requested it. I have yet to hear anything so I’m not sure if they did or not. I’m going to call and do the same thing tomorrow on my lunch break at school. I won’t give up. A few of OOP's Comments: Sister's reaction: She is definitely going to hate me. I don’t care anymore. I care more about the kids being able to heal. To another commenter: I’m hoping they will be allowed to be placed with me. If she has the choice, she might say no just because she’s angry with me. We are usually very close, but now that I’m pushing her, she’s shutting down on me. Titariia: Just make sure you're also there for the kids after you got them out. They could be easy victims of bullying at the school. Teach them how to stand up for themselves. OOP: I live 30 minutes away from them in another school district. I’m hoping I could get them into another school to start fresh. I’d be able to get them nice clothes and demat my nieces hair. At this point I don’t think this school is a good option anymore precisely for that reason. More on the fathers of kiddos: I have another post if you go to my profile and I talk about it. The man who raised my niblings was removed from the home two years ago for child porn allegations (which she says he was cleared of but 🤷🏼‍♀️), to which he then promptly dropped dead in the street. Literally. The biological father of the older child hasn’t seen him in 11-12 years and doesn’t care to. Bringing the kids over/open invite: They have an open invite, but unfortunately she doesn’t make it easy for them to leave their house. They have such crippling anxiety. I’d love for them to come over. I’m going to keep pushing it. OOP answers a few questions the next day (December 9, 2022) Pxl_AlExAnDeR: So hold on, why hasn’t CPS realized these kids aren’t being taken care of?? Good lord OOP: My sister is really good at dancing around the truth. She hasn’t allowed anybody in the house. At this point they will need a warrant. Lovingbutdifferent: Did CPS ever visit after the first call? How were the living conditions then? Also how did she know you called? OOP: No they didn’t. She’s been on their list for a good year and they’ve never gone on the house. She fostered a baby for a little while ( a whole other story but the baby is no longer there), and she had every excuse in the book why they couldn’t go inside and they just let her. Ok_Championship9466: Any updates? OOP: Her friend is now unsending all of her Facebook messages. I’m guessing something happened. Update Post 2: December 9, 2022 (4 days from OG post) Title: I called CPS on my sister - Update - THEY FINALLY GOT INVOLVED. I’m not sure if I should keep making new posts, or add on to the ones I’ve already made? Someone let me know lol I don’t know how this works. I called and talked to the school for the second day in a row. She did not get them to school yesterday or today, and slept through all phone calls from them. I watched her location and she got home at about 6:30am, and it hasn’t moved from there. I’m going to start calling my sisters best friend Janice. Janice called my sister from 7 to 9 this morning until one of my niblings answered the phone. They said they’d been trying to wake her up for an hour and she wouldn’t get up to bring them to school. Janice says they brought the phone to my sister and Janice told her to get her ass up. My sister lied and told her she brought the kids to school yesterday and she’d do it today. Spoiler alert: She didn’t. Janice is upset that she’s been lying to her, but I think she’s always lied to her, she’s just realizing it now. Well, fast forward a few hours, I start getting a notification for every message that is being deleted by Janice incriminating my sister. Dozens of messages including pictures. Luckily, I had most everything saved already at that point. I asked what she was doing and she ignored me for a bit and then I get a call from her. She’s crying and upset and says “what did you do”. I played completely dumb. Apparently my sister called her ripping mad screaming saying that CPS got involved and hung up on her. She thinks Janice is the one who called. I do feel pretty bad about that. I have no idea if they showed up or if they called, but it didn’t sound good. She has an inspection coming up but we are unsure of when. I wish I knew what went down. All I know is that they mentioned the things Janice had told only me, so it’ll come back to me eventually. It’s doesn’t sound like she let that on to my sister. If somebody showed up to her house, I’m sure she refused to let them in, which is an obvious red flag. Her porch looks terrible and there’s trash and feces all over outside, so I’m sure that was another rock in her sack. We have our grandmothers funeral tomorrow morning, and if she gets her ass out of bed at 8:30 tomorrow morning (doubtful), it’s going to be one awkward family reunion. Janice is also going. I’m shitting bricks. ETA I just messaged her other close friend who also happens to be a social worker. She’s helping me get in touch with their social worker. (No the friend hasn’t seen the house in a good year or two) Update (Same Post): December 10, 2022 (Next Day) UPDATE She did not make the funeral. Janice drove two hours to drag her out of the house but she refused to go. Now Janice is cleaning up her house while my sister does absolutely nothing. I told her to just give it up, but she thinks she’s doing what’s best. The DCF inspection is bright and early Monday morning. Janice is doing what she can to hide the evidence. They’re both more worried about “figuring out who called” than the kids well-being. I’m beyond disgusted. Janice thinks she’s being a good ride or die friend, but I do not see it that way. I wish I could never talk to either of them again, but my niblings don’t deserve to be isolated. Thanks for listening to my woes. Update 2 (Same Post): December 11, 2022 12/11 @ 8pm My sister has her inspection tomorrow morning. I don’t know what time as she won’t tell us. She’s done nothing to help this situation. My guess is she will just not let them in, and they will have to get a warrant. If anyone has any insight on how that goes, please let me know! I also sent DCF a long email explaining everything about Janice and have offered my home and time to them should they need me. I’ll make a more in depth update after I find out what happens tomorrow. I’m hoping the social worker gives me a call and updates me. Some of OOP's Comments: Funeral: Last thing my grandmother said to me was to stop being such a bitch to my sister too 🤣🤣 Janice being complicit: I’ve said this to her a million times too in the last 3 days. It is not my niblings responsibility to carry their mothers mental health on their back. Their job is to go to school and be kids. Neither of which they are doing. Americanhealth74: It is very good you got COS involved because my guess is if the school kept pushing she'd just say she is homeschooling them and so the school would be powerless. When done right homeschooling is great but too many times it isn't done at all. Many teens don't even know the calendar or basic reading and math skills. OOP: You hit the nail on the head. I am TERRIFIED that she is going to tell them she’s homeschooling. That would be the end all be all. No-Seesaw-3411: Can you just go and take the children? I know probably not, but I wish it was that easy! Sending you strength x OOP: She has a gun and she doesn’t know how to use it. The_Devil_is_a_woman: If Janice truly cared about those kids stating that their wellbeing if on Janice now should give at least a little nudge in the right direction. At least we can conclude that Janice doesn’t have a “mandatory reporting” kinda job, because not reporting these things would lose Janice their job if found out. OOP: No, but she has done social work in the past. Her loyalty is keeping her complicit. Update Post 3: December 18, 2022 (9 days from last post, 13 from OG post) I don’t even know where to begin. It feels like so much has happened, yet nothing at all. My sister knows somebody called and is blaming Janice and isn’t speaking to her. I feel slightly awful, because now my sister is speaking to me again, and talking shit about Janice. I’ve been redirecting her as best I can. The only reason she’s even talking to me is because she wants to “borrow” my car. (I wouldn’t see it again). So I’ve been just saying it’s at the shop, which isn’t a lie, but I can pick it up any time. I just haven’t had the time with school and work. But I’m not telling her that. She only talks to us when she needs something like picking up her vape juice and giving her money or a vehicle. I’m trying to hard for these kids and I just feel like I’m getting nowhere besides poking the bear. For now I’m saying let’s make the best of it and get some help, but she’s yet to make any effort. The only people that know I called is our dad, my partner, and her friend Caroline, who is actually a DCF worker. She’s been so helpful through all of this in trying to help me help the kids, in a way that won’t cause her to lose her job. (And all of you) My sister did not go to the funeral as expected, and she has a meeting on Monday with the school to discuss the kids truancy again. This was her deadline to start going before they took her to court. I’ve been calling the school every day, and they’ve not gone once since Janice stopped bringing them day 3 of their deal. It’s been a few weeks now. They know my phone number now and greet me by name LOL. My sister managed to dodge her DCF worker two days in a row, once she rescheduled, and second the worker rescheduled. The house still looks horrendous. I dropped off operation happiness gifts and food and I couldn’t even get past the front door. It was a dark dingy dirty stinky cave. She’s still in denial, and says “Janice called DCF on me over a moldy zucchini. She’s dead to me”. Actually, she’s just plain delusional. There’s no way she can actually believe that, not when I’ve seen her house and smelled them all. She even shits on Janice for her cat and kittens and how “at least there’s not shit and piss at her house” (There is. A lot. She just doesn’t leave her bedroom) She’s not put in a single gram of effort into cleaning her house, but she has spent lots of time trying to figure out who called on her which is just disgusting. I’ve told her friend Caroline everything, and she has been trying to talk to her, but my sister has been lying through her teeth to her, which is unhelpful because I’ve told her absolutely everything. She said she may have to write her own report based off of the things I’ve told and things she’s noticed. She gave my information along to my sisters social worker and said to expect a phone call soon as it’s being made a priority. My sister is going to be PISSED. I’ve been dropping hints to her about seeking treatment, and easing her into the thought of her kids coming to my house. She’s still vehemently against it, and says they are not leaving her house under any circumstances. Unfortunately she does not have that choice, but I need her to comply with our plan once they do get taken. I have no idea how she’s going to react, and I’m terrified. Especially terrified for her children. She is not going to make this easy on them and if she has to go to court, she will get a copy of the affidavit on it that will have my name and exact report that I made. I’m not thrilled for that, but for now I’m just denying it until I can’t anymore. Thanks again for listening to my woes. New Update *****Update Post 4: December 1, 2025 (almost 3 years later)****\* Two years ago I posted that I called CPS on my sister. The post blew up, and I ended up deleting it because I was afraid my sister would see it with how popular it was getting. I still get messages to this account asking for updates. Everyone was very helpful to me blowing off steam about this so I feel like I owe everyone an update. It’s not great. We have to be careful about what we say and do so that we can still have access to the children. My sister is a textbook narcissist and has manipulated them so completely. Here’s some background to jog our memories. Hoarder house: They needed to all share a bedroom because they didn’t have access to the other rooms in the house. The house is a biohazard. Urine and feces EVERYWHERE. Dead dogs (yes plural) and rats in corners that they couldn’t find. Moldy and decayed food everywhere and in the fridge. They had to order out for every meal. My mother and I spent thousands of dollars and hours hiring cleaning services, moving companies, and recruiting friends and family to help. My sister sat at the table vaping and scrolling her phone because it was “too overwhelming” for her. Her boyfriend had died two years before this, and that was her excuse for not getting her shit together for her kids. To this day she says she didn’t help because “she wasn’t ready”. We begged her to get inpatient treatment. She took my niece doordashing at all hours of the night with her drug using friends while my nephew stayed at home playing video games. Loaded pellet guns scattered through the house. Absences from school to the point of daily welfare checks, principal showing up to bang on the door, and my sister being brought to court. Dogs and cats living in squalor. Being made to shit and piss in the house. Sister was actively trying to get pregnant. Probably so much more. Yes I was in contact with the school daily, yes I called the police, yes I called animal control. They said there was nothing they could do because she wouldn’t open the door. Updates as of today: CPS did absolutely nothing. They said that the kids were not in imminent danger, and that there was nothing that they could do. My sisters enabling friend Janice cleaned up the dead dogs and replaced the floors in those rooms before the CPS worker showed up. I told them this. They didn’t care as long as it was done. Janice also cleaned the kitchen and one bedroom making it almost liveable so that the CPS worker could see they had a kitchen and a bedroom. Mind you, there are 5+ rooms in the house that they couldn’t access with dead animals in it. My sister didn’t allow the CPS worker in any other rooms and the worker allowed that. My sister has a new boyfriend in the last 4-5 months. He is a drug user with a violent and criminal past who is in and out of jail. My sister is nearly 40 and her new boyfriend is 22. What they get out of this relationship, I am not sure. Neither of them has anything to give. Friend Janice has expressed concerns over the boyfriend’s behavior with my 11 year old niece. I.e snuggling her alone in the car. My sister and her boyfriend and kids stayed with Janice for a few months after their house became flea infested and they could no longer stay there (August maybe?). Janice eventually kicked them out after they destroyed her house, complained about her asking for help around the house, did not contribute financially, and she needed to keep buying clothes and hygiene products for them all. I have told her to cut her off, but she worries for the kids. During this time, my niece slept in the car because she was “uncomfortable” at Janice’s and so she slept in a running car every night. The neighbors called the police multiple times. We all assumed my sister lost the apartment but she is adamant that she hasn’t been kicked out yet, only threatened. My mom sent her landlord money and bought another dumpster that is currently sitting outside unused because she is “too overwhelmed”. My mother is done. They stayed at my moms for a few days after Janice kicked them out where my mom bought all of them including the boyfriend new clothes. My niece and nephew are now 11 and 16. They have not been to school in 2+ years. After the school got “too judgy” (her words), she pulled them to “homeschool”. Our state has no rules or regulations on homeschooling so there is no reason for her to even fake documents. My nephew is 16 and doesn’t even know how many days are in a month. They do not do any schooling and they have said this to my face. My sister has told us “she will get around to signing them up”. My nephew is 300+ pounds with high cholesterol, and hypertension. He is embarrassed about his weight and depressed. He sleeps and eats all day. My niece was recently hospitalized after she couldn’t walk and was so deconditioned and ill that she couldn’t function. She was found to have functional neurological disorder from extreme stress (I went to their care meetings at the hospital) and to be severely malnourished and dehydrated. She told the doctors it just started, but they’re not stupid. She was too sick. She sat in that car for too long that she atrophied and got edematous. This was going on for much longer than any of us know. My sister never brought her to the doctor for fear of being judged. She brings neither children to their PCPs anymore. You guessed it, they’re too judgy. Eventually she was worried my niece would die and brought her to the ER. She had to spend 3 weeks there. The hospital had many concerns but did not call. I had meetings with them and also told them all of this as well. I was really hoping that they would and it would have more weight coming from them than from me. The boyfriend was staying in the hospital room with them and the staff had a lot of concerns. He gave my niece pepper spray as a fidget toy (so he says is the reason) and it fell out when the nurse tried to help her to the bathroom. My parents are now divorced because of my sister. Our dad wants nothing to do with her, while my mom wanted to continue helping her because of the kids. I see both of their points of view. There is not a good answer. This has been a bombshell in all of our lives. Sister has burned all of her bridges and is doordashing all day for a hotel room. So that is where they are all staying, including the boyfriend. Either the car, or a hotel room. The car that they keep mysteriously getting into accidents in and then lying about how it happened. Sister is still actively trying to get pregnant. She recently started on fertility medications and supplements. Where will they keep a baby, in the trunk? The children rarely respond to anyone because she has them drinking the kool aid. They know that their mom could get in a lot of trouble and so they just don’t talk. Neither of them have any friends, and they are so isolated from the outside world. I send them lunch money periodically and my mom buys them clothes. Janice has blocked my sister on everything after she used and abused her too many times so I don’t have that avenue of knowing they are safe anymore. I called CPS again yesterday. I unloaded on that poor reporter. I then called the hospital and left a message with care management that I did it and that I encouraged them to call and add details of their own. They will never be members of society. My friends are sick of hearing about it, my parents don’t want to talk about it and have washed their hands of it. If by some miracle they actually take the kids this time, the only place they could go is with me or with friend Janice who is almost 2 hours away. If they went with Janice, I fear it would just allow more enabling behavior. My partner is a stay at home dad to our two small children while I work 12 hour shifts 3-5 times a week and he is rightfully nervous about adding two traumatized children to the mix where he will be the primary caregiver. We would have to completely uproot our lives which we are willing to do but it is daunting. I am exhausted. I am angry. I am sad. I am so disgusted with myself and every other adult in their lives that have failed them. Some of OOP's Comments: Fangbang6669: Well this update is depressing. Janice literally ruined the rescue mission. All to end up blocking her anyway. Whole situation is sad. I'm so sorry for everything. OOP: Tell me about it. I have told her again and again that she needs to stop bailing her out. She will never figure it out because she always has someone to throw her a line. It has gone too far. I love my friends, but you would not find me doing these things for them. To a longer comment: I know a few people with connections to our department of children and families and I reached out to one of them today. It’s just so exhausting. Im so worried about these kids. NASA_official_srsly: This is just all unbelievably sad. You must be feeling so helpless OOP: SO helpless. I feel crazy because nobody is acting like the sky is falling like I am. Editor's Note: Part of the reason I posted this one was to call attention to the flaws in the system. It's easy for us to comment "call CPS" on a reddit post. But OOP has done EVERYTHING RIGHT and yet still the kids are being abused and neglected. (Obviously that doesn't mean you stop trying.) I sincerely hope we get a good update someday soon. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/husfluga My (F28) boyfriend (M33) says he’s disgusted by my body hair and I have to laser remove it and pay for it or else he’ll leave me. He says I’m not taking his happiness into consideration and if I can’t sacrifice this for him what else won’t I be willing to sacrifice down the road. Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, misogyny Original Post - rareddit May 14, 2019 I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 14 months. A few days ago he confessed he is disgusted by my body hair and wants me to get laser done on my forearms, private area and legs. At first I said no because I accept my body as it is and he’s never expressed any complains about my hair before. Tbh you can’t really see my forearm hair, it’s just a bit of very subtle blonde hair, I wax my legs once a month and groom my private area as often as needed. I’m not even a hairy person. He elaborated on how it disgusts him to look at it and gags at the thought of touching it. At first I thought he was looking for a dumb excuse to break up but he was dead serious about it. So I agreed to compromise and bleach my forearm hair because I don’t want to wax or shave it. He said even if bleaching it would make the hair practically invisible he’d still know it’s there and feel disgusted about it. He told me I had to get it permanently laser removed as well as my crotch and legs. I said I don’t mind having my legs done with laser, but I’m not even sure they can fully and completely remove all of the hair in my crotch area and while I don’t mind temporarily fully shaving/waxing it if that makes him happy, I don’t want to have all of it laser removed because that’s my choice and I don’t feel I should be pressured into doing it. I compromised and agreed to at least think about lasering the crotch area but if he wanted me to laser remove my forearms and legs it was only fair he’d pay for it. He refused saying it doesn’t cost that much and since it’d be a permanent improvement on my body and I’d be the one benefiting from it, I should be the one paying for it. I took offense to these comments because I don’t consider lasering body hair an ‘upgrade’ or ‘body improvement’. I asked again if he was looking to start a fight to break up because the situation seemed too bizarre. He said if I wasn’t willing to sacrifice something this silly to make him happy what else wouldn’t I be willing to sacrifice further down the road? He said he loves me and wants to build a future together but I’m not taking his happiness into consideration and this is a deal breaker for him. This past few days –we don’t live together- he’s been sending me messages with quotes from different laser hair removal salons and telling me to make a decision already, and that I’m the love of his life but I have to learn to budge to make this relationship work. To be honest this whole thing has greatly put me off him and I’m reconsidering if this is the person I want to be with. I feel pressured to change something about me he’s –and I- never had an issue with and I feel he’s given me an ultimatum to chose, I either laser my body and pay for it to please him or he leaves me. TL;DR Bf wants me to laser remove all my body hair -and pay for it- or else it's a deal breaker because it means I'm not willing to sacrifice for him. RELEVANT COMMENTS BigBlueWookiee He's right - you need to sacrifice. In this case, sacrifice him and move on. It'll hurt in the short term, but be cathartic for you in the long run. ~ angelcat00 If you were really the love of his life, he wouldn't tell you that your body disgusts him and he gags at the thought of touching you. I agree with everybody telling you to get out now. But it might be fun to play along for a bit and agree to laser any part of your body that he lasers first. After all, if body hair disgusts him so, living in his own must be an ongoing nightmare. ~ hinavexee Dump him. 2 reasons : He asks you to operate a definitive change on your body to be allowed to stay with him and prove that you can "sacrifice things" for him. That's a major red flag. Laser removal isn't a light thing. It's expensive, it hurts, it requires you to not expose yourself to sunshine for a while, the whole process is long and the most important : it can be PERMANENTLY DAMAGING. Not gonna go into details, but it dries up your skin, which is really a problem on the intimate part especially. A lot of dermatologists did say that total laser removal on the vulva isn't recommended at all. Laser removal needs to be done only if you feel like it. It did it because I was extremely insecure but I would NEVER have done it because someone asked me to. Never. Don't let him take control over your body. RUN. immerviviendozhizn Not to mention, laser hair removal probably wouldn't even work for her if her hair is that light. From what I understand it only really works if there's a pretty stark contrast between the skin and hair color. Update I've been talking to my mom and brothers today, actually two of them are here with me now, and after talking to them and reading most comments I decided there's no going back and I'm leaving his sorry ass. One of my brothers asked me to move in with him and I said yes. He lives in another city from where my ex and I live. I've spent all morning doing arrangements with them. I talked to my boss and I'm getting some personal days off work until next Monday to sort my situation out. My brothers and I have been packing my stuff all day, it's not much because I live in a small studio apartment and I don't have many belongings, so we should be done moving everything to his house by tomorrow the latest. Another one of my brothers will come later on with a van to move everything and should be done in two trips. I texted my ex saying I'm sorry for being stubborn and I'll laser like he asked because I love him and I'm willing to sacrifice anything for him. I said I got an appointment in a local laser clinic tomorrow but my skin will be irritated after the first session so I'll need to rest for the day, especially the crotch and legs so I won't be able to meet him, and besides, I don't want him to see me like that. I told him to come over to my apartment Friday night, I'll order take out from his favorite place and will show him how I look like without hair. He said it’s ok Friday night we have a date then and volunteered to come take the dog if I'm in too much pain to even walk him, but I said my mom is gonna stay over to look after me so she's gonna walk the dog. This is all bullshit but it's my escape plan so he doesn't get anxious about me not replying and decides to shop up here. I don't want him to know I'm moving out until I'm physically out of the apartment. I don't want him to suspect anything. Maybe I'm being overly paranoid but better safe than sorry. I also talked to my landlady before and explained I'll be needing to move out now. My lease expires the 1st of June and I've already paid for this month so it's all good. I also explained I'm getting away from my ex who is being abusive and controlling and offered to change the locks in case he ever returned using his key because that would scare to death the new tenant. She's offered to take the cost of it from my deposit, so that's one less worry in my mind. I think I got everything covered so far. I was initially thinking of breaking up with him in a coffee shop and wanted to give him a piece of my mind but I think I'm just gonna do it over the phone the second everything is out from my apartment and I'm at my brothers. I'm just gonna send him a text saying a few things and block him everywhere. I don’t need to go out of my way to hurt him, I just wanna move on, cry it out and move on with my life. I hope this is the end of it and he doesn't do anything crazy. Again, better safe than sorry. Also don't worry about the doggie, his papers are on my name, he's got a microchip and I'm taking him with me to my brother's house. Update - rareddit May 17, 2019 Hi guys this is an update on my previous post. I just wanted to update you on my situation so far. I dumped my now ex-boyfriend! I sent him a text with a link to the other thread and told him I’ve decided to laser remove him from my life because I’m not –and shouldn't have to be- willing to make any sacrifices down the road -like modifying my body- for anybody. I told him his unhealthy attitude towards the women body disgusts me makes me gag. He’s unable to compromise, didn't respect my wishes, space and boundaries and I won’t allow anyone to pressure me into doing anything I'm not comfortable with by giving me and ultimatum. He’s managed to put me off him and he’s not the type of man I choose to have a relationship with. I also added a couple telephone numbers for clinical psychologists and suggested he gets an appointment to sort out his developmental issues, phobia or whatever the hell is wrong with him. I asked not to contact me again and blocked him. Almost straight away he sent me a video of him from a different number crying his eyes out to the camera saying he loves me I’m ruining his life, he had great plans for me and is only guilty of wanting me to achieve my full potential as a woman. I deleted it and blocked that number too. A couple hours later he sent me yet another video of him from yet another different phone number saying I took things too far by posting it online and making him ‘go viral’ and he’s not a pedophile and why wasn’t I answering the door. I didn’t finish watching that one either. My brother called him on that number and said if he didn’t leave me alone we’d go to the police so he better quits harassing me. He’s since stopped bothering me. I cried a lot the first day because I was in so much pain inside but then it hit me, as much as I thought I loved him, nobody that shitty deserves me crying over him. His shitty attitude has helped me get over him pretty quickly, although of course I’m still hurt over the disappointment he turned out to be. But being with my brother (I moved in with him in another city) and my puppy is keeping me very distracted. I’ve been hanging out a lot with my girlfriends and tonight we’re going out to eat tacos and go dancing. The world keeps turning and life goes on. Thank you so much to all of you for your support and kind messages. TL;DR Bf wanted me to laser remove my body hair to please him. I instead laser removed the bf. Thank you so much for all the love and support to everyone in this sub

I was a bridesmaid in my childhood best friend's wedding. I wasn't expecting it to be such a shit show but it was the worst 24 hours of wedding "festivity" I have ever experienced. She was not a bridezilla at all and let us choose our own dresses in the color she chose, which was great. My parents were invited as was my family (husband and kids) but since we lived 8 hours away, I opted to go with my mom and dad and leave my kids and husband at home. So my dad drove me and dropped me off at a hotel the night before the rehearsal and I rode to the venue with another bridesmaid. We were supposed to stay at the venue the night before the wedding since it was about 40 minutes outside of the city and in the middle of nowhere. I got to the rehearsal lunch and it was on the lawn outside of the venue and there was a potluck set up. Ok that's fine, I get that not everyone has a huge budget. We do the rehearsal and eat this weird potluck meal and then the bride says to all six bridesmaids "don't forget to make yourself a plate for dinner and go put it in the fridge inside." I was immediately taken aback but I followed directions without objecting. That night we were supposed to be having her "bachelorette party" so I was expecting to go out or at least order in a meal but instead we had funky potluck leftovers. Ok fine, whatever, it was one meal so I moved on. Then, we all have to help set up tables outside and my friend says "I need you guys to make your bouquets, prepare food for tomorrow, and iron the table cloths, and set up chairs and tables. We spent six hours working our asses off and my back was screaming after Ironing these cloths with her sister. Again, I get that budgets can be tight but there was no warning that we were going to be put to work and I was in a mini dress and heels doing hard labor and moving furniture. Her husband-to-be and his white trash friends left right after the rehearsal and stayed in a hotel and got trashed. Not a scrap of help from them. Come 8pm, we were all exhausted but we rallied and ate our crusty potluck food while the seven of us shared a solitary bottle of champagne. It was nice to catch up and chat. The morning of the wedding, we all got dressed and did our makeup and then the other bridesmaids started freaking out because they didn't know how to do their hair and the bride said we all needed to try to do something with our hair. As a mom of two daughters, I stepped in and did the hair of 4 of the bridesmaids and had to scramble to do my own before the ceremony. The bride had a hair stylist and makeup artist come in. If she had offered, I gladly would have paid to have mine done but it was not an option at that point. The ceremony was fine but I was just ready to go home. Then we get to the reception. They brought in a BBQ truck to provide the food, which was forgettable, and they had a bar but I was told that we had to pay for our drinks. Again, ok that's fine, I'll buy my own damn pinot gris. Then I see the groomsmen getting progressively more tanked and they are at the bar every five minutes. I asked the bride what was up with that and she said "Oh, _new husband_ paid for his groomsmen to have an open bar." Neat. These dudes were being so nasty and it was throwing the vibes off massively. The bridesmaids and I danced and enjoyed ourselves as best as we could with our self-purchased drinks and then finally it is time for the bride and groom to leave. A huge limo rolls up and the bride is shocked. She says to me "omg, my parents said they had a surprise for us!" She then informed me that since I had moved away, her mom and dad had become multi-millionaires because they had invested in properties all over town so they could afford the limo. I asked tactfully if they had been the ones who paid for the wedding and she said "oh yeah, all of it. They are loaded." You could have fooled me... The bride and groom rode away and then her parents came up to the wedding party and said, it's time to tear down. The groomsmen were blitzed and slinking away and the other bridesmaids and I were so pissed. I finally just said no. I had my parents there at this time so I hopped into their car and hightailed it out of there. It was the worst wedding I have ever been to and it made me so angry to find out that her parents are loaded and they just didn't feel like paying for their youngest child to have a nice wedding. She's somehow still married to her husband but I hate him so much. they came to visit my family once a few years ago and he kept pulling my dog's tail, which confirmed my suspicions that he's just an asshole. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this story! It felt good to get it off my chest. Remember folks, if you can pay for help on a special day, don't be an asshole and cheap out! ETA: Wow, so this blew up. I'll answer some questions here since I can't go through all of the comments. No, we aren't really friends anymore. I'd maybe text her on her birthday and say "HBD" but I don't really keep in touch with her. I fully admit that I was quick to blame her family. I have realized that she was ultimately the one who made this situation awful for her bridesmaids, not her family. Sometimes Reddit is right and I'm wrong. Pulling my dog's tail was the end of the line for sure. I actually just had to put my dog down a few weekends ago and I feel inclined to blame her cancer on her husband. Just because. My kids were so shocked when he did it and he did it MULTIPLE times apparently before I saw it and I was like "stop doing that." Her parents did not give her the extra money from whatever budget you all think there was. They are literally just cheap as hell. I am not AI. I am a basic white bitch who likes Pinot Gris. Pinot Grigio is from Italy, which I also enjoy, but Pinot Gris is from France. I absolutely would have left except for this wedding was in a rural area very far from town. My parents drove me to the nearest city and I got a ride to the venue from another bridesmaid. I was stuck there. Also, everyone else was accepting this awful situation so I figured I could survive 24 hours and then basically not see her again. At the potluck, I think I got some very dry mac and cheese, a few crudite veggies, and a brownie. I stayed away from anything with mayo or meat because I was scared of getting food poisoning and generally hate potlucks. submitted by /u/OppossumsEatTicks to r/weddingshaming [link] [comments]

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I’m planning on a half up half down hair style, light makeup and earrings. submitted by /u/Crystal_Kitten123 to r/OUTFITS [link] [comments]

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