How To Pack A Carry On For 10 Days

... take longer to recover these days and I’m really not sure...(I would guess 9 - 10 hours), and even in March... - it’s FL swampland. Mitigations: carry my EpiPen. Also looked at ... to DNF and not knowing how/where. Logical: Yes. Mitigation: took...my car and a hotel 10 minutes away. I think it’s...SW worry about snake bites.) Carry the EpiPen, of course. 2... toward the back of the pack, yes, so you'll be running ...

... I think I just wanna carry on with my own life. ...his battle, Vanilla gave him 10 cheek kisses in congratulations. Present;.... "That's quite a good pack you have there. Very flexible ... at the Castles, but 10 years of their true lives ...sap what's harvested. Though with how good some of these runts ...Bang Gas from the olden days… but Mowchan booped it off ...Aniki and Pai in his pack before rolling up the cave, ...

... You would think struggling to carry it would be the bigger ...and can be awkward to carry distances. So I had to ...and I could manage to carry. Since it's a secondary chair ...the need for chairs that pack down smaller. I ended up ...uncomfortable. But hey, I could carry it. It fit in the ...it has been wet for 10 days non stop. I have squeezed ...about what chair can withstand how you actually use it. Otherwise ...

... car payment…those were the days and that perhaps is another... my life. I’ve owned about 10 or so Corvettes and a ... little Texas gal who knows how to sell a car and... Museum. On Jan 11th I pack a suitcase and grab a .... Sheila had seen some better days in her youth, I’m sure, .... Boxster boy is telling me how fast the other Porsche is, ... her or do I always carry a tire jack in my ...

... "We won't be able to carry it out anyway until we ...low for a couple of days; and there were hardly any ... have a permit for open carry, Mr...?" "Costumier, officer. And no, ... 2.5 miles to Paris 10:33 The revolver slowly rotated ...an hour later, around 11:10, they were in Paris. The ...nerves. Adrian exhaled: "Yes." "Then how about this: we move ten ... a tourniquet and a dressing pack from his rig and began ...

... "We won't be able to carry it out anyway until we ...low for a couple of days; and there were hardly any ... have a permit for open carry, Mr...?" "Costumier, officer. And no, ... 2.5 miles to Paris 10:33 The revolver slowly rotated ...an hour later, around 11:10, they were in Paris. The ...nerves. Adrian exhaled: "Yes." "Then how about this: we move ten ... a tourniquet and a dressing pack from his rig and began ...

...Figuring out how to make that whole situation unfold took days irl... Hookwolf was last spotted." "How do you know that?" Shielder...he made for his jump pack, based on what he... some tests to see how turning and directional changes worked...bundle for him to carry. Rollout felt the world shrinking..."Girls, get the jump pack and rocket skates off of ...leave the vicinity within 10 minutes would be similarly wiped...

...Figuring out how to make that whole situation unfold took days irl... Hookwolf was last spotted." "How do you know that?" Shielder...he made for his jump pack, based on what he... some tests to see how turning and directional changes worked...bundle for him to carry. Rollout felt the world shrinking..."Girls, get the jump pack and rocket skates off of ...leave the vicinity within 10 minutes would be similarly wiped...

...confinement. It had been 3 days since she was left in ... on the planet being a carry over from before the Fires ...not quite have been a pack, but it was more than ...have only been less than 10 seconds in total, the mercenary's ...searching for you three." "So how grounded are we?" She said ...breath before she figured out how to continue. "I can't go ... could respond. "What is it?" "How long till we're back at ...

... a ridge at approximately 10:30 AM, following a trail ...of coffee. He did not pack a weapon. The memos had ...hard things and don't know how to carry them. Sometimes they come out ... complex instructions and would carry them out with surprising intelligence, ...medical personnel, and others who carry occupational trauma. This ability does ... The sweaters were delivered three days later by a very confused ...

... a ridge at approximately 10:30 AM, following a trail ...of coffee. He did not pack a weapon. The memos had ...hard things and don't know how to carry them. Sometimes they come out ... complex instructions and would carry them out with surprising intelligence, ...medical personnel, and others who carry occupational trauma. This ability does ... The sweaters were delivered three days later by a very confused ...

... the shore - with how close the meteor was getting, ...occasionally joining in, but with how easily she was winded, it ...of the predators. Once the pack attacked, the sauropods would likely ...Flavia and Ahmed having to carry Marcus while Nigel and Tristan ... but in the last few days her situation had deteriorated colossally, ... males, 12 adult females) 10 Phosphatodraco mouritanicus (five breeding pairs) ...

..." His voice is pitched to carry over the crowd. You find... DOING THIS DOWNTIME, MITSURU? (Pick 10!) [] D-Ranks. You've been doing these ... you at a time, the pack of them all gathered together ... and hasn't been seen in days. Masami Kagawa. The Rain Fields ... other shinobi. Wait, is this how he learned Sealing terminology? Son ... someone to wing-man, but considering how you acted with Shimeko... Well, ...

... privately and find out how much of the old ...and make sure it can carry grain haulers, industrial cargo, ... emitter assemblies, lenses, power pack tooling, technical files, and quality...protects us. [X][2 Days] Civilian Shelter Order -Open basements...this disaster. [X][3 Days] Salvage Teams in Waiting ...this superior to us. 10 Days – Two extra days 4.4MP – 2MP =... we have no idea how long it will take ...

...Humanity's in short supply these days, and I'm not just referring...Grizzly! We're leaving in 10!" Standing under the cover of...more like a scavenger pack than an organized force. They... in the next few days. For the two… Capps and...new present. It explained how they were able to understand ..., and they helped her carry the two children away. The ... these parts is just how devastating shipgirls can get, even...

... would need to bring and how I could carry it, accommodation, refuelling, routes..., I began to carry all the kit I needed from the car to pack the boat up… ...up nicely and began the 10 minute walk to the fuel ... drinking and chatting about the days adventures. Sunday 3rd May Up ...approached the slipway I pondered how the hell I was going ...topic of conversation was about how well it handled the conditions. ...

... would need to bring and how I could carry it, accommodation, refuelling, routes..., I began to carry all the kit I needed from the car to pack the boat up… ...up nicely and began the 10 minute walk to the fuel ... drinking and chatting about the days adventures. Sunday 3rd May Up ...approached the slipway I pondered how the hell I was going ...topic of conversation was about how well it handled the conditions. ...

...water tanks, a whole pack inside the walls, some ..., with some bitterness, how much damage a creature can...all of it. Now, days later, you sit at your... ] [Infrastructure] Colonial Hospital. Cost: 10 Resources per die Progress: 0/... [Infrastructure] Colonial Administration Building. Cost: 10 Resources per die. Progress: 0/...stabilize dangerous processes, and carry far more reliable combat formulae ...

...​ December 2102. "Here we go, 10!!!" The voice, belonging to a... equipped me with a "Welcome Pack." It wasn't superpowers—no biotics... her old life, the carefree days of studying medicine, the camaraderie ... her own dreams. Now, her days were filled with endless meetings, ... habit of her to always carry around some weapon with her ..., could you please tell me how you so casually hacked into ...

...village I called home these days. The Hokage tower was ...he'd come to trade, his pack was often filled with bottles, ...unresponsive, and Kakashi had to carry him on his shoulder. I ... the week and after 10 during the weekends, but having ... before he spoke again. "How do you feel?" he asked ... the Uchiha massacre. And how Itachi Uchiha had made his ...painted a worse picture of how much of a shitshow this ...

...yards, 49 touchdown passes against 10 interceptions. Forty-NINE touchdowns. Marvin Harrison...was unblockable on his best days. George Andrie on the end...this game. Brent Musburger: Mike, how does Landry's defense scheme against..., which is middle of the pack. They were not a shutdown ... a position to have to carry the team alone. Shannon Sharpe: ...this tournament and they know how to play in this building. ...

... that was intense. The longest 10 to 15 minutes I've had...should do it. Let me carry her." The middle school boy... I gave that a 7/10. Not bad. While on ...esper from the city's founding days in stasis through cryonics. Imagine...arm. I'm not smoking that pack, for real and for real...It wasn't easy, especially considering how much I had to do ...that simple." Kumokawa chuckled. "Oh, how wrong you are, boy. It ...

..., but anything is possible these days." You are both sadly agreed ... dressed, and more likely to carry orbal laptops than construction equipment. ... blocking the entrance? No matter how you look at it, it's weird for a pack of Republicans to intentionally block ... Math Roll: 1d100+24+22+10= 86. Needed 40/80/110. ... doesn't mean you actually know how to arrest people for corruption. ...

... fabrics of blasphemous his carrots carry with.. the coffin, the cost... Interview: CLA203 aka a disciple how long have you been writing... its pulled millions of views.. how does it feel to be... with the Sickness by Disturbed 10 Cold by Static-X 11 Headstrong... inevitable stays around the why how And then wow… Every man... a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubbalicious." — Bad Boys Sal�, or the 120 Days...

Background: I have been with my partner, "P", for 10 years, and the relationship has completely drained me emotionally and financially. P is a severe alcoholic who drinks about a liter of vodka a day and chain-smokes. He hasn't worked a real job in a decade. I am an attorney, and I am the sole financial provider for our household. We co-own a condo, but I am the one paying the $9,000 a month in carrying costs and managing a Chapter 13 bankruptcy just to keep a roof over our heads. Meanwhile, he regularly screams at me, calls me horrible names ("rancid fat b****", "lying sack of s***"), and blames me for every problem in his life. The Safety Concern: The abuse isn't just verbal. When I try to set boundaries or retreat to my home office to work, he will literally break the locks on the door to get to me while screaming. In the past, his outbursts have escalated to him throwing things at me, hitting me, and grabbing me by the wrists. Because of this, I am genuinely terrified of how he will react when he realizes his "ATM" and caretaker is finally done. The Escape Plan: Because my law practice requires me to be in New York frequently, I regularly travel there for work. I also own a small sailboat up in NY that I have been secretly repairing. My plan is to pack up in May under the guise of a normal work trip, drive to New York, and move onto my boat full-time. Once I am safely on the boat, hundreds of miles away, I plan to text him that the relationship is over and I am not coming back. To be clear, I am not leaving him homeless. I am still legally bound to pay the $5,000 mortgage and my bankruptcy payments. I am only leaving him responsible for the $947 monthly HOA fee and his own food and alcohol. I am even actively trying to help him secure an unclaimed life insurance policy and disability benefits so he has income when I leave. The Dilemma: Part of me feels guilty and "pathetic" for planning to break up with a partner of 10 years via text message from a boat. I keep wondering if I owe it to him to sit him down and tell him I am leaving before I actually go. However, given his history of breaking down doors, throwing things, and extreme verbal abuse when he doesn't get his way, I am worried about what he will do if I tell him the truth while we are still in the same apartment. Am I being a coward for using a "work trip" as a decoy to escape, or is the text-message breakup justified in this situation? How have others safely exited highly volatile relationships like this? submitted by /u/starswaunderinglight to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]

Game Title: CRIMSON DESERT Platforms: PC (March 19, 2026) MacOS (March 19, 2026) PlayStation 5 (March 19, 2026) Xbox Series X and Series S (March 19, 2026) Trailers: Crimson Desert - Official Reveal Trailer Crimson Desert - Official Launch Trailer Developer: PEARL ABYSS Reviews aggregates: Opencritic: 80% - 80% Recommend Metacritic: 78 / 100 - 80 Reviews Some Reviews (updating): Gamers Heroes - Blaine Smith - 100 / 100 Dark Souls has often been used to measure one's gaming prowess, but that measuring stick has changed with Crimson Desert. Not only does it boast some of the most challenging boss battles ever seen in the industry, its required levels of patience, determination, and ability have set a new gold standard. The Outerhaven Productions - Jordan Andow - 5 / 5 Despite a few minor issues, Crimson Desert sets a new benchmark for this style of open-world experience, one that will be extremely difficult for future games to match. Gameliner - Anita van Beugen - 5 / 5 Leave it to Pearl Abyss to create a dynamic open world where you can completely lose yourself - Crimson Desert is a must-play. DualShockers - Christian Bognar - 9.5 / 10.0 It's simply one of the biggest games I have ever played, with an astonishing amount of high-quality content, an absurd amount of complex puzzles, and a world so gigantic that I still haven't come close to seeing everything after 100 hours of playtime. While the story isn't the best and some bosses seem downright unfair, those flaws do little to diminish Crimson Desert, an absolute marvel and one of the best open-world games on the market. Loot Level Chill - Mick Fraser - 9 / 10 I can say without hyperbole that only Red Dead Redemption 2 has hit the heights that Crimson Desert hits in terms of the visual splendour of its play-space. It is truly, truly staggering to look at, with a real sense of flow to its environments as you travel from region to region. It has unmatched scale and scope, and there were times when the weather effects kicked in and I’d have to just stand in the rain and marvel at the change in atmosphere. It’s palpable, and genuinely a cut above any other open world I’ve played recently, maybe ever. Destructoid - Andrej Barovic - 8.5 / 10 Crimson Desert features a fantastic, content-rich open world where player freedom is the number one priority. There is so much to do and so many places to go to that it's easy to get lost among its ancient ruins, mystical forests, and snowy mountains. A lack of polish breeds frustration, but nothing can shake up the firm foundations of this incredible title. DayOne - Jesse Norris - 8.5 / 10.0 A mediocre plot and bland writing can't hold back one of the most ambitious games ever made. Stunning graphics, great gameplay, and excellent music carry you through hundreds of hours of systems-based fun. It somehow lives up to all the hype, with some rough edges in tow. TheGamer - Harry Alston - 4 / 5 It’s highly ambitious and one of the most intriguing triple-A games I’ve played in years, but I just wish so many parts of the whole weren’t inherently flawed. Now my journey in Pywel has come to an end, I’ll be leaving this one on the shelf for a while. Tom's Guide - 4 / 5 The story is pretty average, and the beginning can be brutal, but if you're the kind of person who loves big, sandbox adventures, this one is worth the ride (and $69). $1.29 at Amazon $59.49 at Fanatical(PC) $69.99 at GamersGate $69.99 at Green Man Gaming GameRant - Josh Cotts - 8 / 10 Crimson Desert offers one of the most impressive worlds in gaming, but the deeper you go, the more it asks you to meet it on its own terms. Game informer - Hayes Madsen - 7 / 10 I wish Crimson Desert had stripped away some of its superfluous systems, simplified the combat, and really honed in on exploration and puzzle-solving. The quiet moments atop mountain peaks and wandering through bustling city streets, with the little stories therein, are truly something special. However, the game’s lack of a meaningful main narrative and overreliance on padding things out undoubtedly hurt it. But, more than anything, there’s a foundation with Crimson Desert that I hope can be built upon, and considering this is Pearl Abyss’s first single-player game, I wonder how much of this can be chalked up to growing pains. The studio clearly took liberal inspiration from other games, but I hope that there can be something more looking toward the future. Crimson Desert has something special buried beneath its surface, if all those unneeded layers can be cut out. VG247 - James Billcliffe - 3 / 5 Crimson Desert is obviously inspired by the likes of The Witcher 3 and to an even greater extent Dragon’s Dogma. But I think, particularly in reference to the former, it’s overlooked how key a strong central character is to giving you a place and purpose within the game’s world. Or, like in Dragon’s Dogma, when that character is absent, how reactive systems and supporting characters need to step up to fill the void and create the surprising moments and memories which stick with you past the end of your sprawling journey. As it stands on release, the best parts of Crimson Desert are buried deep under layers of absurdity. Eurogamer - Lewis Gordon - 3 / 5 Make no mistake, Crimson Desert is a technically proficient game with killer combat (pesky lock-on aside). Yet its characters and story are fatally undercooked. And for all Pywel's spectacular visual construction which impresses in its gigantic scale and gleaming prettiness, it lacks a certain distinctiveness. Think of The Witcher games: you can practically taste the fetid water, churned-up mud, and hunks of charred meat dined on by noblemen. Those are works of grit, texture, and a genuinely idiosyncratic sense of place. How does Crimson Desert taste? Well, it is not nearly so flavoursome - imagine, instead, a banquet where almost every dish has the faint taste of cardboard, and you have to eat it for what feels like forever. IGN - Travis Northup - 6 / 10 (REVIEW IN PROGRESS) I’ve played over 110 hours of Crimson Desert and already feel like I’ve seen just about all there is to see, but until I complete the main story and explore whatever secrets the endgame holds, I’m not ready to stamp a final score onto this ambitious yet flawed RPG quite yet. So far the highs have been very high, and the lows have been very low, which has made for an amusing adventure that’s also difficult to recommend outright. I’m looking forward to seeing how the story wraps up (though I’m not expecting much from it at this point) and what the post-game experience looks like. I should be ready with a final review in the coming days. WellPlayed - Nathan Hennessy - 5.5 / 10.0 Proving that looks aren't everything, Crimson Desert's stunning visuals and strong performances aren't enough to save it from being a disappointing experience. Jam-packed with content and systems that make it feel like a Jack of all features, master of none with an unenjoyable gameplay loop, Crimson Desert is really just a single-player MMORPG in all but name. ACG - Jeremy Penter Wait for Sale submitted by /u/ChiefLeef22 to r/gaming [link] [comments]

Written from personal experience and perspective. AI was used to help with structure and wording. The content and knowledge are my own. As a local Thai from Chiang mai. Not trying to fear-monger. Thailand is genuinely wonderful. But after returning to live here, these are the gaps I see first-timers fall into that some of travel blogs skim over because they’re not glamorous. The tap water will wreck you by day 2. Not just drinking. Ice cubes, pre-cut fruit at markets, anything “washed.” Carry a filter bottle or buy the big blue jugs. “Vegetarian” here is not what you think. Fish sauce and oyster sauce are base ingredients. If you’re vegetarian or vegan, the word you need is jay (เจ)/ อาหารเจ . Say it clearly at the counter. ( follow me for more tips how to learn basic Thais next post 🙏🏽🙂) The lèse-majesté law is real and applies to tourists. Criticizing the monarchy is a criminal offense. This includes venting on social media while you’re in the country. Rainy season closes islands entirely. Not “some ferries are delayed.” Routes stop. Islands become inaccessible. North and West: June to October. Gulf Coast: October to December. Plan your route before you book flights. Scooter injuries are the number one reason tourists end up in hospital. If you’ve never ridden one, Thailand traffic is not the place to learn. If you do ride: helmet, insurance, and confirm your travel policy covers it. That unusually helpful tuk-tuk driver? Commission. Every shop he takes you to pays him a cut. It’s not malicious, it’s just the economy. Ask at your hotel what rides should actually cost first. Drug penalties are not a joke. Thailand has some of the strictest drug laws in Asia. Don’t let a festival atmosphere make you forget where you are. Temple dress codes are enforced, not suggested. Shoulders and knees covered. Shoes off before entry. Some temples provide wraps but don’t count on it. Pack a sarong or lightweight layer. The far south is a genuine travel advisory zone. Yala, Pattani, and Narathiwat have active advisories from multiple governments. This isn’t outdated guidebook caution. Peak season needs advance booking. The islands and popular treks book out weeks ahead. If you’re winging it in December on Koh Lanta, you’ll end up with whatever nobody else wanted. submitted by /u/Nearby-Sprinkles3242 to r/ThailandTourism [link] [comments]

A year ago, my parents gifted my older brother $30,000 so he could buy a house. My brother is 30 years old, with a very low-paying unstable job, but in our culture, it's difficult to get married if the man does not own a home and my parents considered it their "duty" to be able to purchase a home for my brother. My brother is the only male on both sides of the family to carry on my family name. He has no savings (he partied, drunk, and traveleled away all of his money), and still wanted a home as he's unmarried and his previous relationships allegedly broke up with him upon discovering he has nothing to his name (besides a really old car). He is their golden boy, no matter what he does. I didn't have any qualms about that gift. My parents are in their early 50s, and this year, I was looking to purchase a home too. I have decent savings (but not a lot as I recently started working), a job that pays fairly well, and is very stable. Rent in my city was extremely expensive and I figured instead of spending so much money on rent for an apartment, why not contribute rent money towards a house? I plan on getting a house, also for the purpose of renting out the other rooms. I'm currently single, and my brother (despite getting a house, is still single), but I was hoping to be more financially savy and own a home. Since my parents gave my brother $30,000 for his house, I asked the same from my parents. It's only fair. I've stayed at home with them, help do my chores, and have always been a homebody with my parents whereas my brother moved out the second he could at 18. He never visits, never bothers to help my parents with anything, and I have always been at home driving them to places, helping them translate documents, filling out immigration/government papers, etc. After touring multiple different houses, I finally saw one that I really like, and my parents loved as well, but we found out how much the down payment requirement is. Even with my savings, I would still need an additional $28,000. So, I asked my parents for $28,000. My parents flat out rejected me, saying that while they support me buying a house, they simply can't justify giving me that much money. But I brought up that they were willing to give my brother that much without any pushback, and I've helped them all my life (I started translating at 12/13 years old, because my brother was NEVER home even when he was a teenager—he was always out getting wasted and returning at 3-4am). They said it's because my brother needs a house to get married, whereas I can stay living under my parents roof for only $300-500 a month. I was so fed up with their rationale, and flat out told them if they're going to continue to have this favoritism, I was going to go no contact and just leave. My parents said they can't give $28,000 but at most, they're able to give $3,000. I was speechless and ranted to my cousin during a family gathering, but forgot one of them was a loud-mouth who then told all my relatives. Everyone in my life is torn on my decision, my aunt and uncles have called me greedy, selfish, and even an A-hole for wanting that much from my parents. I just feel like I'm losing my mind here. Am I in the wrong? Update 1/10: Update: Thank you everyone for your overwhelming support, amazing advice, and overall help in the comment section. I made sure to read each and every comment left on here, and have been MIA for so long because of my final decision. I spoke with my parents one last time on the issue. For people who asked do they even have the money to give me? The answer is yes. I managed their finances and know they have well over enough. After threatening them with NC, we got into a very verbal argument where they called me so much names, it felt like a stab in the heart. My dad was so furious, he started smashing everything in the kitchen. The glass table, the cabinets, and kept yelling and yelling. Growing up, my parents never hit me, but they were great at verbally overstimulating me. I had enough. When everyone went to bed, I quietly packed my bags at mid night and took a uber to an airbnb I booked last minute on the other side of the city. I just needed some time and space. I took out my SIM card and placed it in airplane mode, and stopped talking to friends and family, and I know for a fact, they’re probably blowing up my phone. I only use my laptop as entertainment but in all honesty, I’m so numb and heart broken inside. For the past 3 days, I’m trying to gather my life, requested PTO from my job, and need some time to gather my thoughts and next plan of action. Thank you again for your support and if anything else happens, I will let you all know. Thank you. submitted by /u/pressedpages to r/TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]

Every year, I go to the movie theater as much as possible. It's my favorite place in the world. I first started keeping track/scores/reviews/ticket stubs in 2015. Since then, I've seen 1,827 different movies in theaters: 5 in 2015, 9 in 2016, 146 in 2017, 162 in 2018, 192 in 2019, 44 in 2020, 86 in 2021, 270 in 2022, 325 in 2023, 298 in 2024, and 290 this year. For this ranking, I'm only counting movies I saw in theaters, nothing that I watched at home. I'm not counting re-watches. I don't have a specific scoring system, it's just a rating I give to the movie right after watching. I've included a few re-releases, short films, and TV series, as long as they were seen in a theater (and for the first time). This is all just for fun and not meant to be taken super seriously, I'm not a professional movie critic. I just like going to the movies. I attended 9 film festivals in 2025 for a total of 124 movies. 97 movies had cast and/or crew in attendance for Q&As. There were 26 World Premieres, 11 North American Premieres, 11 Canadian Premieres, 11 East Coast Premieres, 17 Southeast Premieres, 20 Florida/Georgia/Orlando/US/Tampa/South Florida/International Premieres: Toronto International Film Festival - 29 Movies in 7 Days SCAD Savannah Film Festival - 29 Movies in 8 Days Fantasia Film Festival - 18 Movies in 6 Days Florida Film Festival - 13 Movies in 5 Days Miami Film Festival - 11 Movies in 5 Days Popcorn Frights Film Festival - 11 Movies in 8 Days Gasparilla International Film Festival - 6 Movies in 3 Days Miami Jewish Film Festival - 5 Movies in 3 Days Rendez-Vous Cinema Quebec - 2 Movies in 2 Days There were 11 movies that I re-watched in theaters: One Battle After Another - x7 Hamnet - x3 Nouvelle Vague - x2 Sinners - x2 If I Had Legs I'd Kick You - x2 The Testament of Ann Lee - x2 Highest 2 Lowest - x2 The Life of Chuck - x2 Him - x2 Twinless - x2 Sentimental Value - x2 I have AMC's A-List, Regal's Unlimited, Cinemark's MovieClub, as well as memberships to the Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and Toronto film societies. I saw 290 movies in theaters in 2025. Here is my full ranking: The Testament of Ann Lee - 10/10 - It's a sprawling, intoxicating, and beautiful historical-epic with some of the best dance-sequence choreography I've ever seen on film. All of the performances are perfect, the songs/prayers are all memorable, the narration grabs you from the first second and never lets go, and it's got the most confident directing of the year. I wanted 5 more hours of Mother Ann's story. In a fair world, Amanda Seyfried is the runaway Best Actress Oscar winner. This'll go down as one of the best period-dramas of the 21st century. There's one or two masterpieces per year, Ann Lee a no-doubter for one of those spots. One Battle After Another - 10/10 - Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville Junction. Marty Supreme - 10/10 The Perfect Neighbor - 9/10 - I've not cried in a movie theater this much since Moonlight. It's the kind of movie that will make your blood boil and will make you melt to your seat by the end. The bodycam footage where the dad has to tell his two sons that their mother isn't coming home is something that will leave a scar on your heart forever. It's also very impressive on a technical level, the best documentary editing since Apollo 11 in 2019. I can't imagine all of the work that went into piecing this thing together. Sinners - 9/10 Brokeback Mountain (Re-Release) - 9/10 - I'm a bit late to the party here, this 20th anniversary theatrical-release was the first time I've seen this movie, and goddamn was it worth the wait. One of the most powerful love stories ever shot. It's the ultimate "what could've been" love story. Heath's performance is generational. I'm now a card-carrying member of the Brokeback Mountain Was Robbed for Best Picture by Crash Society™. Warfare - 9/10 - You can't talk about Warfare without first shouting out the insanely-great sound design. You could watch this movie with your eyes closed and still be impressed. An impossibly-tense war movie that makes 95 minutes feel like 10 minutes. It's really this generation's Black Hawk Down (huge compliment). It's a lot more grounded and believable though, with an outstanding ensemble cast. I love that nobody is a supersoldier in this, just guys in a bad spot in a bad point in time. It doesn't glorify but it also doesn't minimize. This movie will stand the test of time as one of the best war films of the decade. This thing was custom-built in a movie-lab just for me. Sorry, Baby - 9/10 - Eva Victor is 2025's major revelation. This movie is heartbreaking, hilarious, bittersweet, and soul-warming. It's probably the best Original Screenplay of the year too. This made me realize how much I really missed Lucas Hedges. So cool to see him pop up again. Bugonia - 9/10 - Yorgos doesn't miss. Hamnet- 9/10 - An all-time child-actor performance from Jacobi Jupe. This movie is equally soul-crushing and hopeful. Jessie Buckley's close-up when Hamnet dies is pound-for-pound the best single scene of the year. F1 - 9/10 - As far as fun-summer-blockbuster movies go, F1 is as good as it gets. It's this year's Top Gun: Maverick. Was it cliche? Yes. Was it predictable? Yes. Did I have a fucking blast for 2 hours? Also, yes. Keep pumping these out, Apple. The Phoenician Scheme - 9/10 - Asteroid City & The French Dispatch were slight missteps, but Wes Anderson is officially back. This movie overflows with heart & laughs. (with 10/10 production/set design as usual) Sacrifice - 9/10 - Anya Taylor-Joy was born to play an Icelandic eco-terrorist and Chris Evans was born to play the narcissitic, A-List actor in a rut suddenty thrust back into the limelight. Gorgeously shot, laugh-a-minute first act. I had a really great time with this one, it reminded me a lot of Don't Look Up. Very surprised everyone hates it. The Smashing Machine - 9/10 Magazine Dreams - 8/10 - Jonathan Majors comes in with maybe one of the most physically-demanding performances of all time. Without the real-life drama, this might've been an Oscar-winning role for him. Great movie. Highest 2 Lowest - 8/10 - If it wasn't for an extremely uneven first act and some classic weird Spike quirks in there, like insane transitions and some "how do you do, fellow kids?" moments , this would be one of the best movies of the year. It's still really really great, and the insane score kind of grows on you as it goes. Denzel is at the top of his game. My favorite Original Song of the year at the end. Train Dreams - 8/10 - It takes a while to grow on you. It might take an hour, it might take 5 days, but it'll eventually hit you like a....train (sorry). It's a beautiful slow burn about appreciating life's fleeting and rare moments of joy. The world keeps going on without you, and that's okay. It's extremely reflective and existential. Beautiful stuff. It did what A Ghost Story did for me a few years ago. Presence - 8/10 - Lucy Liu. No notes. It Was Just An Accident - 8/10 - A lot more humor than I expected. The most impressive longshot of the year with that interrogation scene near the end. Mariam Afshari deserves more attention. And holy fuck does that pin-drop ending hit. There's a few ways you can interpret the ending too which is really cool. The Threesome - 8/10 Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie - 8/10 - If you like satirical comedies (like Borat), just do yourself a favor and check it out. You’ll laugh more in the first 30 minutes than in any movie of the past 5 years. I'm Still Here - 8/10 Black Bag - 8/10 Nouvelle Vague - 8/10 - A fun, sweet, breezy, delicate ode to the French New Wave. A movie for movie nerds. Zoey Deutch is a delight and Guillaume Marbeck is one of the year's breakout actors. Left-Handed Girl - 8/10 - A beautiful slice-of-life family drama that’s right up my alley. Wonderful performances from the 2 young leads (their first major roles) and possibly the catchiest theme track of the year. All fans of Sean Baker should check this one out. Nina Ye killed it at the Q&A. Splitsville - 8/10 - Hilarious, sharp, sexy. One of the better recent romantic-comedies (big emphasis on comedy). I laughed more during the first fight sequence than probably any other single scene this year. Advice for any shlubby screenwriters out there: co-writing a sharp, funny screenplay where your romantic interestes are 10/10s like Dakota and Adria is a good move. It Ends - 8/10 - Sometimes you're lucky enough to catch a great movie from a first-time director and you know they'll blow up soon. This is that movie for 2025. The Count of Monte Cristo - 8/10 - You don't get these types of epics much anymore. Really well made and crafted. It's the best Monte Cristo has ever looked on screen. Oh, Hi! - 8/10 Sacramento - 8/10 - Michael Cera, how I've missed you. Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning - 8/10 Is This Thing On? - 8/10 - Career-best stuff from Will Arnett. If only Laura Dern's character wasn't so poorly-written and shitty. Great, improv-like scenes in the comedy club. Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery 8/10 - Doesn't quite reach the peak of the first one, but it's a step up from the 2nd. It's a lot more personal and dark than the other 2, which I really liked, and it keeps the (sometimes-outdated) humor. Fucktoys - 8/10 - It's Anora on mushrooms. It's weird, it's gross, it's got a ton of sex and some violence. It's kind of a modern nasty fairy tale. It's everything you want. Would recommend. Annapurna Sriram is a major talent to watch out for. Urchin - 8/10 - Part Safdie, part Glazer, part Leigh. A really confident and impressive debut film from Harris Dickinson. Harry Dillane is magnetic. Eternity - 8/10 Predator: Badlands - 8/10 A Quiet Place w/ Live Commentary (Re-Release) - 8/10 - This was the first "live commentary" screening I've ever attended. It was with co-writers Scott Beck & Bryan Woods (who also co-directed Heretic), moderated by Josh Malerman (who wrote Bird Box). A very fun screening, very insightful and amusing. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000, but for an actually-good movie. Final Destination: Bloodlines - 8/10 Companion - 8/10 No Other Land - 8/10 - Incredible achievement in documentary filmmaking. almost unfurls like a narrative drama. The only documentary other than 20 Days In Mariupol that's made me want to look away. It's really impressive how angry it makes you but also weaves in beautiful little funny moments of humanity that bring you back down to earth. You would think that "pouring cement down village water wells" was a cartoonish movie-villain move that would never actually happen in real life, but nope, it happens. The Girl with the Needle - 8/10 - Sometimes you just need a Cristian Mungiu-like hit of depression. This filled that hole. 28 Years Later - 8/10 The Long Walk - 8/10 - Not shying away from the brutality/violence is this movie's biggest strength. David Jonsson and Cooper Hoffman are perfect together. It's a very unique post-apocalyptic film, a different feel from the usual YA slop. Mark Hamill is very goofy and bad though. Rough casting there. Sentimental Value - 8/10 - This was a lot better on 2nd watch. In her limited screentime, Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas puts in the best supporting performance of the year. She is the heart & soul of this movie. Truly heartbreaking stuff when Renate reads her the monologue at the table. The History of Sound - 8/10 - Shoutout to this movie for introducing me to Silver Dagger, probably the greatest folk song ever. I've had different covers of it playing on repeat since the minute I left the theater. Paul Mescal was amazing in his rendition. Beautiful, Brokeback Mountain-like love story about what could've been and regrets. A House of Dynamite - 8/10 - It's only fair to score this by act: First Act: 10/10 - Movie-of-the-year potential. Thrilling and engaging. I wanted to cry everytime Rebecca Ferguson was on screen. Second Act: 8/10: The greatest TV pilot episode you've ever seen. Greta Lee keeps getting done dirty though. Third Act: 3/10 - What a fumble nooooooooo Kathryn noooooooo. My Mom Jayne - 8/10 Sirat - 8/10 - Sound design that will have your clothes shaking during the rave sequences and have you jump during the (extremely) unexpected death scene(s). A great (but extremely bleak) odyssey through the desert set against the backdrop of the world falling apart. Good shit. She Dances - 8/10 - Whenever Steve and Audrey Zahn are on-screen together, the scenes burst with authenticity and genuineness. The script is sweet, funny when it needs to be, and sometimes brings out a few tears. Really great little family-drama. Hamilton - 8/10 Bring Her Back - 8/10 - Danny and Michael Philippou should be thrown in fucking jail for that scene of the kid chewing on the knife. Sovereign - 8/10 Weapons - 8/10 Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair - 8/10 - Confession: I had only seen bits and pieces of both Kill Bill movies prior to this. I had an abolute blast. The 2nd half doesn't quite live up to the first though. Avatar: Fire and Ash - 8/10 - Oona Chaplin awoke something in me. i'm now a Varangsexual. Mile End Kicks - 8/10 - Chandler Levack is Canada’s brightest up and coming filmmaker since Xavier Dolan. Pls keep her on your radar. Now she needs to make a movie without an annoyingly-unlikeable lead. Nuremberg - 8/10 - Your dad's pick for Best Picture. I had really low expectations, a 2.5-hour WW2 courtroom drama sounds like Oscar-bait 20 years too late, but a really tight script and perfect pacing kept me thoroughly engaged. It's also the best Russell Crowe performance since...Gladiator? Good stuff. I'm back on the WW2 movie train. Leo Woodall knocks it out of the pack with his monologue too. Out of nowhere. The Naked Gun - 8/10 Twinless - 8/10 Rebuilding - 8/10 - Lowkey family-drama set in the aftermath of a fire that destroys a man's family ranch. Josh O'Connor is outstanding as usual. Eric LaRue - 8/10 The Life of Chuck - 8/10 Frankenstein - 8/10 - It's undoubtedly technically impressive, probably deserves Oscar nominations in most tech categories. The cast and crew is stacked, and it's solid, but there's a major thing keeping it from being truly great/top 25 of the year: an interesting story. It's really good but classic GDT style-over-substance like Crimson Peak. Megadoc - 8/10 - Almost makes up for the actual movie. Almost. The Francis/Shia and Aubrey/Dustin dynamics were really fascinating to watch. Really great doc about the chaos of filmmaking. It's a shame Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel didn't want to be filmed for it, but I can't say I blame them. Jay Kelly - 8/10 Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere - 8/10 - Everyone else is wrong, this thing was good. Atlantic City forever. Rosemary's Baby (Re-Release) - 8/10 Hurry Up Tomorrow- 8/10 - Maybe throw me in jail for this but I thought this thing rocked? Part Vox Lux, part Misery, part Good Time. Jenna Ortega absolutely smashes it (wish the whole movie was from her POV tbh) and Keoghan/Abel are pretty solid as well. If you can look over the self indulgence (which is kinda the point) and a bad 5-minute sequence near the end, this is a banger. The score and camework alone make it watchable. Trey Edward Shults fan until the day I die. Together - 8/10 Americana - 8/10 - It does jump the shark a bit near the end when like 45 people die and it becomes a bit unbelievable, but it's a fun Tarantino-like crime story and Sidney Sweeney/Paul Walter Hauser are great together. It's Never Over, Jeff Buckley - 8/10 The Fantastic Four: First Steps - 7/10 The Damned - 7/10 - Claustrophobic period-pieces are my shit. An overlooked January-dump movie that deserves more praise. The Ballad of Wallis Island - 7/10 She Rides Shotgun - 7/10 Christy - 7/10 Roofman 7/10 - A perfectly-solid action-crime-comedy with a stellar Channing Tatum and Kirsten Dunst. This would've made $200M domestic 20 years ago. It doesn't have the usual emotional devastation that you'd expect from a Derek Cianfrance film, but that's fine. Thunderbolts - 7/10 - Like most people, I'm kinda "over" the Marvel formula, and in general this was a bit more of the same, but Pugh and Harbour commit really hard and keep it very engaging and just-different-enough. It's one of the better recent MCU efforts. I liked Julia Louis-Dreyfus in a Veep-adjacent role. Materialists - 7/10 Dead Man's Wire - 7/10 Rental Family - 7/10 Sisu: Road to Revenge - 7/10 - A nice improvement over the first one, rare for a sequel. Some really impressive kills. Mickey 17 - 7/10 Shin Godzilla (Re-Release) - 7/10 The School Duel - 7/10 Eephus - 7/10 - A local beer league baseball team plays their final game at the local park. Makes you feel nice and fuzzy and warm. Dangerous Animals - 7/10 - Some actors are born for a certain role. Jai Courtney is that actor in this movie. Ballerina - 7/10 Vermiglio - 7/10 Violent Ends - 7/10 Good Fortune - 7/10 - There are some glaring flaws (like Aziz's acting & delivery), but it does a lot of things very well and has a sweet enough ending to keep this pretty good. Keanu's character is a highlight and has a ton of great lines ("I used to be a celestial being and now I'm a chainsmoker", etc) Secret Mall Apartment - 7/10 Blue Moon - 7/10 - Ethan Hawke is outstanding and basically shows off and runs circles around everybody for 100 minutes, but chamber pieces just aren’t reaching “great” level for me recently. Wicked: For Good - 7/10 The Surfer - 7/10 Eleanor the Great - 7/10 - Pure boomer catnip. Your grandma's favorite movie of 2025. June Squibb is a national treasure. Protect her at all costs. Blue Heron - 7/10 - An Officer and a Spy - 7/10 - Polanski still has a bit of juice. Nobody is doing courtroom-dramas like the French recently. California Schemin' - 7/10 - It gets a bit repetitive but it's a solid directorial debut effort from James McAvoy. A Big Bold Beautiful Journey - 7/10 Villes Jacques-Carton - 7/10 - Quebec represent. (weak year for Quebec cinema I'll admit) Normal - 7/10 - If you like John Wick and John Wick-like clone films, you’ll like this. Lots of fun kills. Lots of blood. Good popcorn flick. Not breaking any new ground though. The Ballad of a Small Player - 7/10 - Macau is a sick setting for a film, and I really dug the first hour, a degenerate gambler just digging his own grave, and the score from Volker Bertelmann is a standout of the year, but it loses its way a bit when he dies (or maybe he doesn't? who knows). Also, more Fala Chen please. Jurassic World: Rebirth - 7/10 Superman - 7/10 - There's some funny lines, solid needledrops, and Rachel Brosnahan is great as usual, but it's not enough to make it really pop. Solid movie, another decent entry in the comic book movie category, but it doesn't reinvigorate my enthusiasm for the genre as a whole like I'd hoped it would. Tatami - 7/10 One of Them Days - 7/10 - Katt Williams being the highlight of a movie in the year of our lord 2025 was not on my bingo card. We need more crowd-pleasing comedies like this in theaters. The Seed of the Sacred Fig - 7/10 Fackham Hall - 7/10 - The Trainspotting poster bit was so good. Non-stop bits and easter eggs, a fun time. The Wizard of the Kremlin - 7/10 Caught Stealing - 7/10 - Zoë Kravitz is gone far too soon. I Love LA (TV Series) - 7/10 Fight or Flight - 7/10 - It sequel-baits a bit too hard and the tech-villains are way too cartoony, but some solid kills, great lines/editing, and Josh Hartnett fully committing to the alcoholic, down-on-his-luck assassin bit really keeps it entertaining enough. Jane Austen Wrecked My Life - 7/10 Sisters - 7/10 Parthenope - 7/10 - It's a gorgeous-looking movie, I could stare at Celeste Dalla Porta for 10 more hours, and I'm a big Paolo Sorrentino fan but this feels a bit more style-over-substance than his usual output. The Monkey - 7/10 The Luckiest Man in America - 7/10 - When an indie budget is stretched to the limit and puts out a good movie. Terrestrial - 7/10 Two Women - 7/10 Sharp Corner - 7/10 - I watched this dubbed in French so the performances definitely took a hit, but it was a pretty biting look at the pressures of the workplace and family leading to a man's downward spiral. Ben Foster is always solid (even when he's dubbed in French-Canadian). Sweetness - 7/10 Spinal Tap 2: The End Continues - 7/10 - I have still not seen the original, but this was good enough as a standalone. The final performance scene leaves a bit to be desired, but there's enough humorous dialogue to keep it chugging along ("in the daytime, ghosts are just rumors" is my personal favorite". Almost Popular - 7/10 My Dead Friend Zoe - 7/10 I Am Frankelda - 7/10 The Amateur - 7/10 - It's basically Bourne-lite, but they don't make these globe-trotting spy movies enough anymore. I enjoyed it. Torture-by-pollen was a wild move though. On Swift Horses - 7/10 Merrily We Roll Along - 7/10 - As far as theatrical pro-shots go, it's below Waitress & Hamilton. At first the constant cuts are a bit annoying/nauseating, but it works itself out. Radcliffe has one really amazing/impressive song number (during the TV interview), Groff is outstanding throughout. Was not a fan of Lindsay Mendez at all. I wanted a bit more emotionally from the whole thing. The theme song is amazing. Heart Eyes - 7/10 No Other Choice - 7/10 - good but kinda very long, innit? Freaky Tales - 7/10 The Wedding Banquet - 7/10 - Fun little rom-com brought down a bit by rough acting and awkward line/joke delivery from Bowen Yang and the Korean guy. Lily and Kelly carried them big time. Loved the “we have to de-gay the house!!!” bit. Great ending too. (never saw the original) Freakier Friday - 7/10 Rust - 7/10 The Ugly Stepsister - 7/10 Come Closer - 7/10 La Grazia 7/10 - Location scouts for Sorrentino movies need special recognition. The Accountant 2 - 7/10 - The story is a bit overcooked (the X-Men-like school for autistic super-hackers is a crazy turn for this movie to take) and it gets a bit too Sound of Freedom-y, but the Affleck/Bernthal scenes together keep it from falling apart completely. Rise (Short Film) - 7/10 Tornado - 6/10 Inheritance - 6/10 The Housemaid - 6/10 Anemone - 6/10 - [Sean Bean stares in amazement at DDL's performance] x10. There's a few good lines ("god doesn't need undies, cause he's not full of shit like you are", "the explosion was so loud you couldn't hear it"), two amazing DDL monologues, and it looks amazing, but feels kind of empty as a whole. Definitely something missing. Spider & Jessie - 6/10 Orwell: 2+2=5 - 6/10 - Some sequences are truly must-see pieces of documentary filmmaking (like the grilling of the ghoulish tech billionaire fucks and the January 6th bits) but then others are so truly scattered and shoehorned that it disconnects you from the message of the movie. 9/10 potential here if it could get out of its own way. Don't Let's Go to The Dogs Tonight - 6/10 Charlie Harper - 6/10 - A cute story about a highschool sweetheart couple (an aspiring chef and an underachieving alcoholic, classic) that’s shot really great and acted well (othet than the non-existent drunk acting from a supposed alcoholic) but ultimately burdened by a mountain of cliches. Song Sung Blue - 6/10 The Toxic Avenger 6/10 - A Troma film should have more nudity. Let's bring nudity back. Put me down for more nudity. Tron: Ares - 6/10 If I Had Legs I'd Kick You - 6/10 Anaconda - 6/10 - One day soon I'll be tired and over and the ironic, meta, big-studio-movie, but today is not one of those days. I had a decent time with this. A The Legend of Bagger Vance reference in 2025 deserves some respect. Death Does Not Exist - 6/10 40 Acres - 6/10 Locked - 6/10 Paddington in Peru - 6/10 Clown In A Cornfield - 6/10 Captain America: Brave New World - 6/10 - Adding this to the never-ending list of good-but-forgettable comic book movies. The genre is stale as hell. Wolf Man - 6/10 - Really liked the POV switches, sound design, and creature design, but the rest is by-the-numbers horror flick. Drop - 6/10 Blood for Dracula (Re-Release) - 6/10 Taylor Swift - The Official Release Party of a Showgirl - 6/10 - The lyric video stuff was whatever/boring/filler but I really liked the behind-the-scenes look at the making of the Ophelia music video. I could’ve watched an entire doc of Taylor directing that video. Great song too. And the closing song rocked too. Fanny - 6/10 Find Your Friends - 6/10 All Her Fault (TV Series) - 6/10 Fairyland - 6/10 A Nice Indian Boy - 6/10 Eddington - 6/10 - There's some interesting stuff in here, but overall kind of a mess. That's been Ari Aster's vibe recently. A Minecraft Movie - 6/10 To Kill A Wolf - 6/10 Keeper - 6/10 Waltzing with Brando - 6/10 - Billy Zane is super convincing as Marlon Brando. The rest is forgettable. Re-Animator (Re-Release) - 6/10 Opus - 6/10 - John Malkovich could not have been more horribly miscast. There's a good cult movie hidden in here somewhere, but Ayo by herself couldn't bring it out. Needed some more passes at rewrites. Grand Theft Hamlet - 6/10 Den of Thieves 2: Pantera - 6/10 Novocaine - 6/10 Barcelona (Re-Release) - 6/10 The Roses - 6/10 - This was a Dollar Tree Marriage Story. Very tonally-uneven. Kate McKinnon is distractingly-bad. Cumberbatch and Colman work well enough together to keep it watchable but it's kinda messy. IT: Welcome to Derry (TV Series) - 6/10 Modern Whore - 6/10 100 Nights of Hero - 6/10 Ick - 6/10 Algiers - 6/10 Everything's Going to Be Great - 6/10 - I really wish Bryan Cranston didn't die early on in the movie. His character and charisma really kept this afloat at first. It mostly fall flats after he's gone, except a few sweet moments. Weirdly over-religious vibes to the movie. Angel Studios was probably close to landing this one. Abraham's Boys - 6/10 I Know What You Did Last Summer - 6/10 - Worth seeing for the Nicole Kidman AMC intro reference alone. Death of a Unicorn - 6/10 Clorofilla - 6/10 I Don't Understand You - 6/10 On Becoming A Guinea Fowl - 6/10 - It's hard to think of a more recent ending that's so unsatisfying. It's good until that. Fuck those last 5 minutes. Allen Sunshine - 6/10 Night of the Demons (Re-Release) - 6/10 La Gloria - 6/10 The Legend of Ochi - 6/10 - It's a gorgeous movie and very Wes Anderson-coded, but too childish to make a real impact. If I'm honest, Helena Zengel should've just spoken German (with subtitles) instead of intelligible English. Cleaner - 6/10 Bonjour, Tristesse - Lily McInerny is outstanding, one of my picks for "breakout" performances of the year, and I'm a sucker for a sun-drenched Mediterranean setting, but Chloë Sevigny is just so bad and sinks the rest of the performances. Love Machine (Short Film) - 6/10 The Shrouds - 6/10 Mermaid - 6/10 - With 20-25 minutes shaved off, this could've been great. It captures some of the gross underbelly of Florida that not a lot of movies can (The Florida Project being the best example), but it's dragged down by bad performances and a plot that's too dragged out. I wanted it to end at least 5 times. Dog of God - 6/10 Trust - 6/10 Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale - 5/10 - It loses a lot of the charm of the first 2 films. Dead of Winter - 5/10 The Friend - 5/10 Him - 5/10 Somnium - 5/10 Hard Truths - 5/10 Borderline - 5.7 - Full disclosure: I saw this in a theater but left about halfway because I saw a big ass rat crawling through the aisle (2nd time I've ever seen one in a theater. Other time was in 2019 for The Best of Enemies). That's gonna be a no from me, dawg. Finished the rest at home. All that being said, Samara Weaving is good but she can only do so much to carry a weak story. Hunting Daze - 5/10 The Chronology of Water- 5/10 - A completely incomprehensible first-45-minutes (by design I guess?), but Imogen poots puts in one of the most daring & brave performances in a while. A huge huge swing by Kristen Stewart for a directorial debut. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it misses hard. www.rachelormont.com - 5/10 - This movie is fucking disgusting. I'm pretty sure real-life misdemeanors/felonies were actually committed during the filming (seriously). But it's just weird and funny enough (especially during the meta, audience-speaking portion) to keep you locked in. A wild ride that I wouldn't take again but that I'm happy to have taken off of the bucket list. Honey, Don't! - 5/10 - "My left or your left?", "We're facing the same way" is one of the year's best exchanges, and there's a few of those gems, but ultimately this is one of the most disjointed movies involving A-list talent I've ever seen (looking at you, Amsterdam). Too much going on, some really awful performances (Charlie Day, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans). Only Margaret Qualley showed up. She rocks. Swiped - 5/10 - We have The Social Network at home. Bone Lake - 5/10 Black Phone 2 - 5/10 - There should be a law capping Blumhouse horrors at 95 minutes. Big drop-off from the first one. Madelaine McGraw was fantastic though. The Woman in the Yard - 5/10 Seven Veils - 5/10 M3gan 2.0 - 5/10 - I've gotta admit that there's a lot of really solid & memorable one-liners in here, but this movie really needed an R-rating and 25 minutes less of runtime. Fuze - 5/10 Now You See Me Now You Don't - 5/10 The Running Man - 5/10 - Edgar no :( Ella McCay - 5/10 - There's some truly baffling stuff going on in this movie (30-year old Ema MacKey unconvincingly playing a 15-year old for a part of the movie being one of them), but I love James L. Brooks too much to give it a lower score. #EllaMcCayChallenge Sketch - 5/10 The Well - 5/10 Queens of the Dead - 5/10 Unmoored - 5/10 Last Breath - 5/10 Mr. Blake at Your Service! - 5/10 Hedda - 5/10 - Aside from the solid costume and set design (and a few moments when I was reminded of Babylon), this was a pretty nothing-movie with a confusing plot and extremely unlikeable characters. The Virgin of Quarry Lake - 5/10 - Visually striking but much too slow. Mr. Melvin - 5/10 Armand - 5/10 The Bearded Girl - 5//10 Karate Kid: Legends - 5/10 Test Screening - 5/10 Sounds of Glass (Short Film) - 5/10 Invention - 5/10 The Penguin Lessons - 5/10 Another Simple Favor - 4/10 - This might be the most overcooked script of the year. There's just so much going on, you can't keep track of any character motivations, and it just throws in twists for the sake of twists. The original was fine, this was not good. Good Boy - 4/10 Hacked: A Double Entendre of Rage Fueled Karma - 4/10 Hot Milk - 4/10 - There's something good hidden in here, but it's irritating as hell. The Room Next Door - 4/10 - All of the bad of Almadovar (clunky dialogue, overly-melodramatic, etc), with none of the good. Boring as well Sister Midnight - 4/10 The Devil’s Bride - 4/10 After the Hunt- 4/10 - ??????????????? Snow White - 4/10 - I think Rachel Zegler is great. Whenever she wasn't on screen, I didn't care. Disney live-action remakes have to start caring a lot more about what they're putting out there. The returns are diminishing big time. Of Dogs and Men - 4/10 Shelby Oaks - 4/10 Nobody 2 - 4/10 - I never want to see Sharon Stone in anything ever again. Take the Oscar nomination away. Wish You Were Here - 4//10 The Baltimorons - 4/10 Die My Love - 4/10 - Shoutout to John Prine. The Carpenter's Son - 4/10 Dust Bunny - 4/10 The Rule of Jenny Penn - 4/10 - Painfully repetitive. Enough lens-flare-induced-blindness to probably qualify for a class action lawsuit. Flight Risk - 4/10 Anniversary - 4/10 - About as subtle as brick to the temple. Jesus christ. Ash - 4/10 Reflection in a Dead Diamond - 4/10 - Zzz... Apostasy Blues - 4/10 The Christophers - 4/10 - A very rare Soderbergh L. Such a bore. Did not help that I couldn't understand a single word Ian McKellen was saying and that Michaela Coel was horribly miscast. The G - 4/10 Rosemead - 4/10 Teacher's Pet - 4/10 - Coming to a Tubi near you soon. Ex-Husbands - 4/10 The Unholy Trinity - 4/10 - Bland RedBox (RIP) fodder. Samuel L. Jackson surprisingly cares so that kept it from a rock-bottom score. Away with the Fairies (Short Film) - 4/10 Atom & Void (Short Film) - 4/10 Eastern Western - 3/10 Cujo (Re-Release) - 3/10 - Had not seen it before, and I can still tell you it hasn't aged well. Awful. High Rollers - 3/10 Auction - 3/10 - There aren't many things in life more pretentious than art-related French films. The Thing With Feathers - 3/10 - Man this was a rough watch. The Home - 3/10 Thank You, Places! - 3/10 - A valiant effort by a local theater group to shoot & produce a movie during the height of COVID but I could've seen anything else and been more entertained. One Big Happy Family - 3/10 Homebound - 3/10 Good American Family (TV Series) - 3/10 The Story of Three Sisters (Short Film) - 3/10 First Rites (Short Film) - 3/10 Love Hurts - 2/10 - If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Love Hurts, I would shoot Love Hurts twice. Kiss of the Spider Woman - 2/10 - I really enjoyed the 12-minute sequence of Diego Luna graphically and aggressively shitting himself (3 feet away from a toilet for some reason by the way?) while the lead character wipes it all up, that was super cool and cinematic and necessary. This movie was hot ass, in more ways than one. Extremely overhyped out of Sundance, there's one every year. Deserved flop. One of the few times a year I walk out of a movie theater angry. Nobody Wants to Shoot a Woman - 2/10 - Amateur hour. The worst Goodfellas rip-off you've ever seen. If you told me this was originally a Youtube short from 2008, I would believe you. The Verdict - 1/10 - The filmmakers should honestly be ashamed for submitting and screening this unfinished soap-opera-masquerading-as-a-film. The festival progammers should be ashamed for programming it and charging people for it. I should be ashamed for staying the entire 100 minutes. Shame all around, really. Nobody wins here. It’s like if a group of blind preschoolers decided to remake Anatomy of a Fall. Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - 0/10 - I thought Netflix’s truly-apocalyptical purchase of Warner Bros was the worst thing to happen to theatrical moviegoing in a hundred years, but then I saw Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. Theater Distribution by Venue/Chain: AMC - 103 Regal - 58 Cinemark - 7 Cineplex - 3 VIP - 3 Landmark - 2 Silverspot - 2 Independent/Festival/Other - 112 (Bill Cosford Cinema, Cinema Centre-Ville, Cinema du Musee, Cinema Paradiso, Classic Gateway, Coral Gables Art Cinema, Enzian Theater, Hall Theater, IFC Center, Lightbox Theater, Lucas Theater, Miami Theater Center, Movies of Delray, Olympia Theater, Princess of Wales, Roy Thomson Hall, Royal Alexandra, Salle J.A. DeSeve, Savor Cinema, SCAD Museum of Art, Scotiabank Theater, Tampa Theater, Trustees Theater) Theater Visits by Month: https://i.imgur.com/JxMd5Qt.jpeg January: 19 February: 11 March: 27 + 1 Re-Release (Barcelona) April: 37 + 1 TV Series (Good American Family) + 1 Re-Release (Rosemary's Baby) May: 17 June: 15 + 1 Re-Release (Brokeback Mountain) July: 24 + 6 Short Films (Atom & Void, Sounds of Glass, First Rites, The Story of Three Sisters, Love Machine, Away with the Fairies) August: 23 + 5 Re-Releases (Re-Animator, A Quiet Place, Cujo, Night of the Demons, Shin Godzilla) September: 43 + 2 Rewatches (One Battle After Another x2) October: 24 + 2 TV Series (IT: Welcome to Derry, I Love LA) + 1 Short (Rise) + 1 Release (Blood for Dracula) + 12 Re-Watches (One Battle After Another x3, Nouvelle Vague, Sinners, If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, The Testament of Ann Lee, Highest 2 Lowest, Hamnet, The Life of Chuck, Him, Twinless) November: 16 + 1 TV Series (All Her Fault) + 1 Re-Watch (Sentimental Value) December: 15 + 2 Re-Watches (Hamnet, One Battle After Another) Theater Visits by Day of the Week: https://i.imgur.com/wD0Tsx6.jpeg Monday - 16 Tuesday - 28 Wednesday - 32 Thursday - 53 Friday - 57 Saturday - 65 Sunday - 39 Notable Missed Movies: https://i.imgur.com/42reKIv.jpeg Cast/Crew/Filmmaker Q&As/Appearances: https://i.imgur.com/5kl6qWn.jpeg Favorite Performances: https://i.imgur.com/mf6Bren.jpeg Past Rankings: 2018 (162 Movies) 2019 (192 Movies) 2020 (44 Movies) 2021 (86 Movies) 2022 (270 Movies) 2023 (325 Movies) 2024 (298 movies) Please support your local movie theater. Go alone. Go with others. Buy popcorn. Sneak in snacks. Go on a Discount Tuesday. Disconnect for 2 hours and watch a movie on the biggest screen possible. Don't let corporate greed and stockholder profits destroy a hundred years of laughs, tears, and communal joy. See you at the movies in 2026 :) submitted by /u/BunyipPouch to r/movies [link] [comments]

Edit - Good god. I refreshed the page when it was at 70 votes, 51 minutes old. Maybe 20 mins later... 550 votes??? I'm glad that this post I threw together on a Sunday morning speaks for so many of us. I love this game and I want to continue enjoying it. Anyway, I won't make this edit too long. Also, as much as I'd like to be able to reply to all of you, I just can't do it Captain! I don't have the power!! (Star Trek TOG reference [And Ace Ventura, which is a hilarious movie]) One final thing before the rest of the post. At this point, I think Arrow needs to appoint someone to be their community ambassador of sorts if they ever intend on communicating with the players with the design direction for the game. It is clear they don't play it, so much as they develop it. And that disconnect shows. But this requires them to be willing to adapt to what the game has become. Switching the Leviathan's guns to beam weapons is by far the best example of the sort of back and forth communication that's needed. I was so happy when Nik said "So we did!" in the update video for that. After all that being instantly deleted suffering. ------- Warning, long list ahead. But still a shortened version lol. Numbered for discussion purposes. So, the flag increasing the fighting spirit of our Helldivers is space magic, but a warp pack isn't. 1 - We have impalers on the bug front who can extend their multiple tentacles dozens of feet underground to reach its target. 2 - We have a Stim Gun, that even though it isn't very powerful, we still can't heal ourselves with it. 3 - We have suppressed weapons that have the same detection range as all of the other weapons, with no benefits, despite that the weapons with the suppressor have a tag that says so. 4 - We have bleed damage that *will* kill you in seconds. 5 - The explosion radius of our bombs is vertical and not circular. Allowing enemies to survive direct 500kg hits. This also applies to the Ultimatum. 6 - For a while there, we were given a flying enemy who had wings that meant nothing if you destroyed them, even though the release video for the update said that the wings were the weakspot. This enemy's bile attack also has no correlation with its vfx (Visual effects). This is the Dragonroach for those unfamiliar 7- To this day, we have a wildly different experience fighting the enemies as the client than the host does. If you ever want to experience this yourself, join a game on Bugs D10, fight the bugs for a while, then have someone kick you. You will immediately notice the difference when you are switched to being the host. If you were around before they reworked Rupture Strain, and you were host, you knew about this. 8- Speaking of rupture strain, we still have burrowing enemies that can travel underground faster than you can sprint above it. 9- We can't reload our teammates' weapons from their own backpack. 10 - We can't carry more than a few clips for our most basic weapons, unless we choose a special perk. 11 - We can't land on any tall rock or structure to gain a height advantage. And if you somehow manage it, the enemies will magically teleport to you. 12 - We can't use melee without extreme risk to ourselves and guaranteeing losing stims fast, and yet they still nerf melee just because you could kill a charger with it if you were careful enough and it was alone. 13 - Enemies still don't care about being on fire. 14 - Our divers still spend half a second chilling on the ground after recovering from being ragdolled 15- And finally, the developers claim they don't want one weapon to outshine all of the others, and yet something like the Eruptor still exists. I've tried using other weapons in its place, I've tried finding different loadouts that would compete with it, but I found nothing that destroyed everything like that gun does. Heck, I've spent so much time using it, I know how to shoot it within a couple of meters to kill an enemy, and basically never kill myself. I don't enjoy how that gun makes all of the others feel inadequate. But all of you still reading at this point know what arrowhead would do, right? Nerf the Eruptor of course. But a flag that increases the fighting spirit of our fanatical Helldivers? Space Magic! ----- Last night, after painstakingly clearing a flag on spread democracy and feeling like I was about to accomplish the goal and have that nice music play with all the dead enemies around me, a single hunter hit me once in the chest. I killed him and I still had half health, but because he made me bleed, within 5 seconds I was dead on the ground because there was no way I could have called in a resupply quick enough or grabbed my supply pack which was 40 meters away. I just stood there and watched myself bleed out and collapse before I left the game. That was when I decided, I don't find this fun anymore. They've made too many changes to make it less fun, and there are other games out there. ------ And as pointless as it might be to say this, I'm still gonna throw it out there. All of my criticisms come from a place of loving the game and really disliking the parts where it shouldn't be the way it is and it should be more fun than it is. I don't like the way arrow consistently make decisions that nerf the players good time. They appear to want a small group of players who enjoy playing their grunt fantasy rather than taking advantage of the fact that their game has become a global smash hit The best example of nerfing fun comes from them having disabled the adreno defibrillator's ability to keep you alive as long as you're inside a Mech. That did not affect game balance, mechs are fragile with limited ammo. Arrow just removed it because people enjoyed it. I'm convinced of that. (Because they've shown a consistent pattern of removing things from the game they didn't intend, that don't or barely affect the game balance, and that the players enjoy using. If similiarly something the enemies have [or that's wrong with our equipment] gives them an unfair advantage, it takes MUCH longer to see a fix, if said fix happens at all. Case in point the delay to recovering from Ragdoll [no. 14], implemented to hotfix the wormdiver bug.) I'm sure I'll be back at some point, this game always manages to drag me back before I again get tired of all the anti fun decisions the devs make. ----- Final edit/thoughts: I have probably hours and hours of footage saved from the game. For now I'm going to settle into occasionally making videos for the sub (when not playing other games) showcasing what the different weapons can do etc, for example the default frag grenade is actually amazing. And I plan on making a video showing that at some point. The eruptor too deserves a guide video for all the excellent uses it has. So, until next time. ----- Peace. submitted by /u/SIinkerdeer to r/Helldivers [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/ThrowRANoRespectWife Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1, #2. #3. #4 [New Updates]: AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, job loss, mentions of abuse, body injury, seizures, mentions infidelity, mentions financial abuse, toxic work environment Mood Spoilers: sad, crazy Editor’s Notes: due to the lengths of prior posts altogether, they have exceeded the character limit. TL;DRs for each of OOP’s older posts. This is in order to fit all posts in the latest BoRU here. For the full text bodies of older posts and relevant comments, see the previous BoRUs linked above RECAP / TL;DRs I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 8, 2025 OOP, 35M, shares the breakdown of his marriage after losing his job due to the workplace conflict. His wife, who warned him the job would end badly, became the sole provider while pregnant, and their relationship deteriorated. After being asked to leave, he entered therapy, found new work, including three jobs, and was allowed to return home, though he now sleeps in the basement and has no emotional or physical connection with his wife. Despite his efforts to regain trust, she continues to criticize and dismiss him, often siding with her mother over him. A recent argument regarding their son’s minor post-surgery fever made him realize how little respect she has for him, leading him to question whether he’s truly making amends or being punished in a marriage that may already be beyond saving.   Anxiety that turns to panic: August 10, 2025 (two days later) OOP stayed home while his family went out of town for the weekend and is now spiraling with anxiety before they get back. He is obsessing over whether he did enough around the house, making multiple lists to justify it, but nothing helps. When he stopped distracting himself with Reddit, his anxiety turns into panic, and he is aware that doomscrolling isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. He is stuck in his head, feeling guilty and unable to calm down.   UPDATE: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 12, 2025 (two days later from the previous post, four days from the OG post) OOP updated and clarifies he’s been working hard since moving back home, holding down three jobs, managing childcare, cooking, and helping with household chores, and feels he’s doing his share, despite criticism. When his family returned from a weekend trip, OOP tried to talk with his wife about cutting back on work and starting marriage counseling. She dismissed the counseling idea and accused him of wanting to avoid responsibility when he suggested working less, explaining that she plans to reduce her hours and relies on his income. She mentioned his basement sleeping arrangement is partly due to his late-night work schedule but didn’t elaborate on other reasons. OOP brought up counseling again, and his wife reluctantly agreed to a Zoom “intro” session with a female counselor, though she avoids intimacy and is uninterested in date nights, saying they “aren’t there right now.” OOP feels lost on how to express concerns without sounding defensive and admits he has no one else to talk to.   Editor's note: after the update, OOP made a post onto a different sub regarding a question about how long do the couples try before calling it quits. That sub does not allow their posts to be cross-posted so I will not include the post here in the BoRU.   I didn't realize how much my family doesn't care until I came to Reddit: August 15, 2025 (three days later from the update post) OOP explains on how sharing his marital struggles on Reddit has made him realize just how isolated he is in real life. He said redditors have been supportive and offered advice. Their marriage remains strained, and OOP feels emotionally abandoned by his parents, his father distant and cold, his mother more invested in maintaining access to her grandkids and her relationship with OOP’s wife than supporting him. OOP describes the lifelong pattern of being blamed or dismissed by family, childhood bullying to adult failures, and now sees how little emotional values he holds to them than what he provides. He feels invisible, resigned to being ignored as his wife and parents carry on without him, concluding that it’s easier to hide away in the basement.   AITAH for snapping at my mom and hurting her feelings after she referred to my wife as a "single parent"?: August 19, 2025 (four days later) OOP recalls a tense family outing to the zoo resulting with him snapping at his mother after she referred to his wife as a “single parent.” OOP, who was struggling through a rocky marriage after losing his job and being temporarily kicked out, recently moved back home but still lives in the basement and feels unwelcome in his family. At the outing, he felt excluded and dismissed by both sets of parents, culminating in his mother’s comment implying that his wife was essentially raising their kids alone. Hurt and humiliated, OOP lost his composure, grabbed his son, and walked off, sarcastically remarking that he should get “some practice as a single parent.” His mother left in tears, and both his wife and in-laws told him he overreacted. OOP is questioning whether his emotional response was justified or if he was the one in the wrong for letting his frustration boil over.   UPDATE #2: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 22, 2025 (three days later) OOP reviews on the first marriage counseling session with his wife, “Carrie,” following a prior incident when he snapped at his mother. Carrie apologized for his mother’s hurtful “single parent” comment, saying she never viewed him that way and still trusted his commitment as a father, the kind words she’s offered in a long time. Counseling revealed deeper issues: Carrie admitted she doesn’t know if she loves or respects OOP anymore, as her feelings are buried under resentment. She revealed her resentment stems not only from OOP losing his job, also from years of her family’s disapproval, including her mother’s and sister’s belief that OOP wasn’t right for her and suspicions during her pregnancy that he was cheating with his longtime female friend, “Ellie.” Though Carrie later realized he hadn’t cheated and defended him to her family, OOP’s job loss “proved them right” in her eyes, reigniting that bitterness. The session ended with small progress: OOP was allowed to move from the basement to the guest room, and Carrie agreed to let him think about her request to reduce her work hours for weekly “girls’ nights.”   AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers?: August 29, 2025 (one week later) OOP mentioned after the tense marriage counseling session where the therapist encouraged him and his wife to spend more time together, new conflicts arose over holiday weekend plans. Every year, Carrie’s family gathers at her parents’ lake camp, but given the strained relationship between OOP and his in-laws, especially after learning they’ve disapproved of him, he thought it would be better for his wife and kids to stay home so they could reconnect privately. Carrie began packing for the lake trip without including him, saying she wanted to “spend the weekend with [her] family.” OOP tried to use calm “I feel” statements, suggesting that her going without him contradicted their counselor’s advice. Carrie took that as an ultimatum, accused him of being controlling, and locked herself in their bedroom. OOP feels conflicted, unsure if he was genuinely trying to prioritize their family or if, as Carrie says, he was being an AH by guilt-tripping her for wanting time with her relatives. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA   Update #1: September 5, 2025 (one week later) After a tense argument about Carrie choosing between spending holiday weekend with her family or with OOP and their kids, she unexpectedly apologized and offered a compromise, spending one night at her family’s camp before returning to spend the rest of the weekend together. The time they spent as a family went well and almost normal, but tensions resurfaced when Carrie brought up wanting regular “girls’ nights” with her mother and sister, both of whom dislike him. She justified it by saying her sister’s husband had left after she cheated during one of those nights, and she wanted to support her sister through the breakup. Though OOP tried to stay calm, he felt uneasy that his wife arranged her schedule for the outings and both she and their therapist saw it as healthy progress. Carrie heads out for her first girls’ night, OOP admits he’s trying to convince himself he’s fine with it, he feels anxious and uncertain.   Why do only the negatives linger?: September 8, 2025 (three days later) OOP vents about feeling emotionally exhausted and conflicted while waiting for an emergency therapy session. He explains that despite receiving supportive comments on Reddit, the only ones that stick with him are negative ones, those accusing him of being the real problem, a bad husband, or an abuser. Criticism eats away at him, leaving him doubting himself and feeling unworthy of love or compassion. He admits he almost posted in an abuse support subreddit after realizing how poorly he’s been treated, but a heated exchange with another Redditor sent him spiraling again, making him question everything. Now, OOP feels ashamed, needy, and frustrated with himself for caring so much about strangers’ opinions and wonders why it’s so hard to silence the self-blame and thinks he deserves better.   Update #2: September 11, 2025 (three days later) OP shares in an emotional update, that his young son fell down the stairs and broke his arm, with doctors also checking for possible head trauma. He recounts the terrifying moment, how he was carrying his daughter and couldn’t reach his son in time, and now feels crushed with guilt despite no one, including his wife or in-laws, blaming him. His wife rushed back from a work event to be with them at the hospital, and for once, both sides of the family managed to come together peacefully in support of their injured child. OOP writes from the children’s hospital lounge, emotionally drained, trying to make sense of what happened while battling intense self-blame. He later adds his son has been released, is in good spirits, and is proudly showing off his cast, bringing a small bit of relief after harrowing few days.   Update #3: September 23, 2025 (12 days later) OP shares Child Protective Services was called on him for alleged neglect after his son’s fall, but the hospital wasn’t the one who reported it, meaning a family member likely did. He and Carrie are being cautious about confronting anyone until they confirm who made the report. OOP has spoken with a lawyer and is in intensive therapy, where he’s confronting longstanding issues with self-worth, honesty, and his need to defend himself.   Editor's note: OOP made a separate post onto a different subreddit after Update #3 regarding his son's fall accident incident. That subreddit does not allow their posts to be cross posted so I will not add OOP's post here   Explaining it to a partner: October 2, 2025 OOP had a breakthrough in therapy, finally recognizing his parents, especially his mother, as emotionally immature. After years of minimizing their behavior and convincing himself that it “wasn’t that bad,” he began to understand how their emotional neglect shaped him. When he tried to explain this realization to Carrie, the conversation fell apart; he couldn’t express it clearly, felt like his examples sounded weak, and ended up feeling foolish.   Update #4: October 8, 2025 (six days later) OOP reveals the CPS report accusing him of neglecting his son was made by his own mother, not his in-laws, as he and his wife had suspected. After confronting his parents, his mother admitted to filing the report, claiming she believed he had hurt his son and citing a long-held (and false) belief that he had cheated on his wife years ago. OOP discovered his MIL once told his mother about the supposed affair but never clarified it wasn’t true, allowing misunderstandings to fester for years. The revelation left OP devastated, estranged from his parents, and distant from Carrie as he struggles to process the betrayal. Continuing individual and marriage counseling, he made progress in recognizing his parents’ emotional immaturity, and even quit one of his three jobs, his first major independent decision in a long time. &nbsp, Parents think I'm incompetent: October 14, 2025 (six days later from Update #4) OOP describes his strained relationship with his parents and a realization through therapy that his parents have viewed him as fundamentally incompetent and incapable of managing life without guidance. Whenever OOP doesn’t follow his parents’ (or spouse’s) advice, the parents assume failure is inevitable, and some past experiences, like job issues, changing colleges and majors, and a recent medical emergency involving OOP’s son, it seem to reinforce that belief. OOP struggles to determine whether he is incompetent, experiencing a self-fulfilling prophecy fueled by his parents’ attitudes, or have internalized years of being treated this way.   A little light in the dark; October 16, 2025 (two days later) OOP reflects on a quiet, emotionally heavy night sitting with his daughter as she tries to sleep, using the moment to process recent stress. He describes his surreal experience of the past posts circulating on social medias and Reddit recap subs, and mixed emotions of seeing strangers debate his actions while his life has moved on to bigger issues. Despite ongoing marital counseling, strained boundaries with his parents, and internal conflict about defending his wife, OOP shares rare moments of relief: his wife, Carrie, arranged for OP’s best friend, Ellie, to visit, giving them much-needed support.   Editor’s note: In the next two posts, OOP was just venting about his childhood memories, life experiences growing up, and his parents Missing reasons: October 24, 2025 (eight days later) When does it stop feeling like whining?: October 29, 2025 (five days later)   Update: AITAH for asking my wife to choose between her family and ours: November 6, 2025 OOP gives a long-overdue update describing ongoing stress from his son's unexplained seizures, progress, and setbacks in therapy, and escalating marital conflict. After a warning from his BIL, OOP discovered his wife secretly gave some significant shared money to her cheating sister, causing a major blowup in marriage counseling. Carrie, later apologized for her words, she did not fully take responsibility, and counseling keeps circling back to infidelity, trust, and money. Carrie pressured OP to reconcile with her mother despite her role in spreading false cheating accusations that contributed to CPS involvement, framing it as “for the kids.” OOP admits he has not gone no contact with his parents out of fear of isolation. With support from his best friend Ellie and his therapist, OOP is beginning to recognize long-standing patterns of neglect or abuse in both his family and marriage, and confronting why he instinctively trusts critical, self-serving voices (his mother and wife) over one person consistently on his side.   ----NEW UPDATES---- What kind of support is reasonable to expect from your spouse?: November 14, 2025 (eight days later) I’ve posted here before about going through a rough patch in my marriage. I’m still going through that, but I’m trying to work through a question I have about what led up to that rough patch that I’ve received some conflicting advice on. My best friend and therapist have one view, my wife and MIL have the complete opposite take and I don’t really trust myself enough to figure out where I stand. Here it is: what kind of support is it reasonable to expect from your spouse? Should you expect them to always have your back and take your side, at least publicly, even when you might be wrong? I don't mean if you're seriously wrong about something or do something objectively horrible. Like, if you break the law or intentionally hurt someone, then I'd think it makes sense for them to not support you. But what if it's something that isn't a matter of legality or morality? Context for the question: A few years ago, I took a job that my wife didn't think I was a good fit for and she strenuously argued against me taking it. I had no problem with her weighing in on the decision as it was one that would impact our entire family (me, her, and toddler son, at the time.) But the job had significant pros - more money, room for professional growth, and the hiring committee offered me the job because they thought my proposed ideas for what I would change/do in the role made a lot of sense and showed a passion for the position. I took the job over my wife’s objections for those reasons. The job involved working as part of a four person team, with each of us handling our own specific areas but collaborating on initiatives for the entire department. One of my three colleagues who was (obviously) more tenured but not my boss in any way, disagreed with my plans. I wanted to try a series of outreach techniques including social media posts, creating content that clients could take with them, and going out into the community and other departments to personally pitch our services. She had tried some of those things unsuccessfully in the past and believed my ideas would not work and put up roadblocks to using them for our collaborative projects. Which was entirely her right and I understood her reasons even if I didn’t agree with them. But after almost a full year of all of my efforts/suggestions getting shot down or minimized I got frustrated (to put it mildly) and became petty and passive aggressive in my comments, stopped contributing in meetings, and rocked a very 'pissed off look' around the office most of the time. Eventually, she complained to our mutual boss about the environment I was creating and when the choice had to be made between me and her, she won out; I was asked to resign. That's on me. No question. I handled it completely 100% wrong. No ifs, ands, or buts. My marriage-related question comes from that first year, when I wasn't being an ass (yet) and was trying to implement the ideas that had gotten me hired in the first place and was routinely told that my ideas wouldn't work, I didn't understand the job, and I should just stick to the things that they'd always done even though those things weren’t exactly working (or I wouldn’t have been hired.) I would come home day after day and vent, complain, or just talk through my ideas out loud, trying to find a new or different approach that might be met with less resistance. And every time, my wife essentially parroted the company line and told me that I needed to go along so I could get along. She fell back on a few points over and over again: * My coworkers had more experience within the department and more overall institutional knowledge (I remember that phrase specifically) and so, I should follow their lead because they knew better than I did. * Even if the ways that they’d been doing things weren’t working as well as they should, they were working well enough as the department was still functioning and no one had been fired and why did I think it would be better to rock that particular boat. * I’d taken the job in part because of the opportunities for advancement, but if I caused disruptions or kept pushing my ideas even after my colleague resisted them (and even if those ideas were right) I would be seen as the problem and never get promoted. I’m not saying my wife was wrong about any of it and even if she was, that still wouldn’t excuse the ways in which I handled the situation or make the eventual outcome any less awful, especially when I lost my job while she was pregnant with our daughter and forced her to become the sole bread winner for a short time until I found a retail job while I looked for better full-time employment. During a recent marriage counseling session, our therapist asked us a question that led to me bringing up that first year at the job. I mentioned that I didn’t feel like she’d ever really supported me during that time. I said that all I’d wanted was for her to say that the situation sucked, that she knew I had good ideas and that it had to be frustrating for me to go unheard. That I just needed to feel like she was on my side even if she didn’t completely agree with me. My wife didn’t like that and vehemently disagreed with the idea that she’d never supported me. She said support wasn’t something that required blind faith, it didn’t mean she always had to take my side, and that everything she said was because she wanted me to succeed and thought following her advice would give me the best chance to do that. Her argument was that if I saw her about to make a massive mistake, she’d expect me to support her by calling it out before she made it, not just being there to comfort her after it had all gone wrong and that expecting her to just blindly back me wasn’t reasonable. My MIL agrees with her. My personal therapist wants me to think about what impact my wife’s style of support might have had on how I handled things after that first year. And my best friend says that none of it was support and it was all an effort at control. They’ve all got built-in biases and I’m struggling with who to listen to. What is reasonable? What kind of support is it fair to expect from a spouse? tl;dr wife didn't offer up unconditional support while I was dealing with frustrations at work and I don’t know if expecting her to is me being unreasonable or not.   Update: AITAH for asking my wife to choose between her family and ours: December 11, 2025 (nearly one month later) A lot has happened. I tried staying offline a little for the holidays and to work on processing on my own, but ‘on my own’ has gotten to be a bit too isolating so here I am. Not sure where to start. Last time I updated, I wrote about Carrie’s plan to invite Ellie and then use that to guilt me into meeting with her mom to bury the hatchet and how poorly received that plan was by me. As it turns out, my opinion on the plan didn’t really matter as the meeting happened anyway when my MIL showed up unannounced at our house and Carrie sat us both down to talk it out. If you’re thinking that ‘talk it out’ was code for my MIL giving me every bullshit justification in the book for why she did what she did and then moving right on into why she’s never liked me and why she’s spent years actively trying to ruin my marriage without giving me a chance to say a word, then you’d be right. To her credit, she didn’t deny anything she’d said or try to spin it as taken out of context or anything like that. What she did do was try to justify every bit of it by saying that it was, sort of "inadvertently" my fault because it was my behavior that triggered her responses because everything about me, the way I acted, talked, carried myself, it all reminded her of Carrie’s father. That man (and I use the term loosely) was an abusive functional alcoholic who controlled my MIL through financial abuse, physical intimidation, gaslighting, and projecting the ‘perfect image’. The world outside of their immediate family loved him. He was always cracking jokes and entertaining at gatherings and he was an unabashed people pleaser, like if it was an Olympic sport, he’d have held every world record and all the gold medals. Anyone other than his wife and his kids would (and did) describe him as a giving and generous man, always ready and willing to sacrifice for his friends and family. In their eyes, he was a great guy. He wasn’t. Not even a little. All of those jokes covered up for undiagnosed (until it was way too late) social anxiety, depression, and PTSD and all the drinking was his way to bury his rampant fears that no one actually thought he was funny or cool or worth anything. He was giving and generous but no one ever saw that his generosity came at the expense of his wife’s bank account or that he only gave in ways that he thought would force people like him or, at the very least, need him. And he would sacrifice for friends and family but whenever someone wasn’t grateful enough or didn’t love him enough for it, whenever he didn’t get the reaction he’d desire or expected, he’d turn to my MIL, Carrie, and her sister to pick up the slack, to be grateful, accepting, and love him more even when what he’d sacrificed cost them more than it did him. They could never satisfy those needs, no matter how much they tried and that got funneled into anger and abuse but no one else ever saw it; he was an entirely different man behind closed doors when he didn’t have an audience to perform for. Carrie told me about him about six months into our relationship and I’ve always suspected she thought I’d bolt when she did, that I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who had such an f’d up family history since mine was so normal and peaceful in comparison. Hindsight’s a bitch sometimes, I guess. My MIL saw him in me right from the start and she admitted that nothing I did or didn’t do since ever changed her mind or could have (I didn’t even know there was anything to change) and every time Carrie defended me over the years, all my MIL heard was her own voice, defending her own husband to herself even as he hurt her and her kids. And then I lost my job and the financial burden all fell on Carrie and my MIL saw history repeating itself and she pushed Carrie into kicking me out for her own ‘safety’. And even when I moved back in, my MIL was in my wife’s ear, whispering of the danger and how it would be better for everyone if at least I stayed in the basement, at a safe distance. Somehow, even though she saw me as some younger version of the man who had abused her for years, my MIL never once suspected I had anything to do with my son’s fall or his seizures and I know that because she made a point of saying it like twenty times, so yay for that, right? She only expected me to be an abusive spouse, not an abusive parent. Carrie and my MIL thought me hearing all of this would help to give context (which it did, I guess) and that context was all that was needed for it to all be OK and for us to smooth things over and create a place to start rebuilding, especially since even if what my MIL did was awful, it still wasn’t as bad as my own mom calling CPS on me and emotionally abusing me for years, which Carrie made a point of pointing out. They thought I’d just understand and forgive, even if they didn’t really ever apologize or even act as if there was anything she’d done or said that would require forgiveness. They thought it was so obviously all going to be OK that, at the end of our little sit down (it was like two hours of her mom talking) Carrie informed me that her mom was going to stay for a week or so, since we needed some daycare help now that the kids weren’t going to my mom’s and that we were going to spend Thanksgiving at her family’s house. Apparently, confession is good for the soul and for the social calendar because her mom personally invited me, tagging the invite with a reminder that it would be good for my son to see us all together and happy. I’m sure there’s some of you reading this who think this is clearly more evidence of what an asshole I am because my MIL would absolutely recognize an abuser when she saw one and some others wishing that I’d stood up, told them both to fuck off and walked out to start a new life without any of their bullshit, but if you’ve been here all along, you already know that didn’t happen. I did what I do and just basically shut down on the spot and they took my silence as acceptance. Half an hour later, they were off to take the kids to the park and I went to work where I spent twenty minutes crying in my car in the parking lot wondering how awful I had to be for my MIL to decide on sight that I was a carbon copy of her abusive ex-husband. My MIL did stay (she took the basement, so another win for me) and every night she was there, I sat on my bed in the guestroom and tried to write an update but I kept deleting it because I didn’t want to actually put it out into the universe just how epically pathetic I was. I didn’t post about it, but I did bring it up with my therapist, even if I was terrified that she’d be disappointed in me for still taking Carrie and my MIL’s opinions of me as gospel, even after we’d talked about why I shouldn’t. We spent two sessions digging into that mess, including why I automatically expected even her to judge me and why I was afraid of it and in the end, she helped me work through all my instinctive reactions until we got to how I really felt after the meeting with my MIL. I was pissed. It was bullshit that I was being judged based on the actions of another man, that I was found guilty of things I hadn’t even had the chance to not do yet, and I was legit enraged at the idea that it didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, my MIL, SIL, and even Carrie were never going to see me any other way or see that they were wrong. My therapist and I got into why those things bothered me so much (spoiler: it’s got a lot to do with my parents) but we’re still working on that. The most practical thing we did was figure out a way to say all (or any) of that to Carrie and we had a plan, we had language and word choices and therapy-speak ways of putting it so I could share it in marriage counseling without making it into an attack and hope that my wife would actually hear me. I’ve learned quite a bit the last few months about trauma and responses to it and the biology of fight/flight and all the ways in which it can fuck up your ability to stay calm and in the moment, all of which probably explains why every planned and prepared word flew right out the window in MC and instead, I blurted out that ambusing me with her mother and having her stay in the house and thinking that I would be OK with being compared to an abusive asshole like her father, as if that gave her mother free reign to try and ruin my life and not asking me about any of it just fucking hurt. I said: “It makes me feel pathetic. You make me feel pathetic and worthless and unsafe in my own life.” That didn’t go over well. Despite my plan, Carrie did feel attacked and she basically exploded at me. She said that how I feel isn’t on her, that none of it is because of her, that she and her mother had only made choices in response to my choices, like getting myself fired. If I felt unsafe then maybe I should think about how unsafe she felt when I lost my job or when I let my BIL convince me to start poking around in our finances like she was some kind of criminal. She said that if I still felt worthless or pathetic after spending so long in individual therapy, then clearly I needed to find a new counselor and not one who “enabled me” and that she never should have reached out to Ellie as she was clearly biased and wanted me to feel like that and fed me a load of “self-pitying bullshit.” And then she stormed out of the session without another word. When she came back fifteen minutes later, our therapist laid it out for her. This wasn’t the first time Carrie had gotten angry in a session or the first time she’d laid into me with textbook DARVO style attacks (a term I learned on Reddit so I felt like Captain America ‘I understood that reference’) and that was not at all conducive to any sort of productive therapy. More importantly, it wasn’t the sort of behavior that any decent therapist could condone or allow to happen in front of her and so our therapist basically threatened to fire Carrie as a patient if she continued to try and use our sessions as an avenue for abuse. I’m not sure if that’s actually a thing therapists can do but I know that Carrie thought it was because I could see the change happen in real time. She apologized (to the therapist) for her outburst and promised it wouldn’t happen again. Since the holidays were coming, we were already going to be taking a brief break from counseling until after the first of the year, but our therapist gave us homework that we had to complete if we had any thought of continuing to work with her. I had to work with my own counselor on strengthening my strategies for being able to speak my mind in sessions, so I wouldn’t blurt shit out like I had. And Carrie had to decide: does she still actually love me and want to find a way for our marriage and family to really work or is she just hanging on for reasons other than love. And that’s where we left it. We did go to Thanksgiving and it was awkward and painful and thank God my FIL loves football so I spent most of the day in front of the television. And Carrie and I haven’t spoken all that much since then. I have no idea what she’s thinking. But I’ve had a couple more therapy sessions on my own and I’ve been working on being able to get past that freaked out panic in my head that jumbles all my thoughts and makes me blurt instead of speak. And not to bury the biggest deal but… I made a decision in my last therapy session, one I knew I would have trouble sticking to on my own so I texted Ellie about it and then, to make it real and give myself less of a chance to backtrack on it, I wrote Carrie a letter and left it on the table for her to read one day when I went to work. I’m better on paper than out loud, anyway. What I decided was this: if Carrie says she wants our marriage to work when we go back to counseling but nothing changes, if she says the words but the actions stay the status quo, then I’ll initiate a separation. I’m not asking/demanding for her to suddenly be intimate with me again (I made sure that was clear in the letter) but I’m not going to live like a guest in my own house or be expected to just accept whatever she decides about everything. Either we work as a pair and actually try, or we won’t be living together anymore. I don’t know if she believes that I will actually follow through on it (I don’t even know if I do), but it’s out there now and somehow that makes me feel more like I can really stick to it. I guess we’ll see. tl;dr: Carrie and MIL ambushed me and spent two hours justifying MIL’s bullshit. I reminded her of Carrie’s abusive dad and she can’t see me any other way. MC went way off the rails and Carrier lashed out so bad that the therapist threatened to cut her off. We have to make decisions before our next session and I finally brought up the idea of separation.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/paquetthrowaway My [40'sF] Son's [17M] Girlfriend [17F] wants me to take her to get an abortion without her parents knowledge. Trigger Warnings: teenage pregnancy, child abandonment, depression Mood Spoilers: ultimately positive Original Post: May 15, 2015 I made this throwaway because I'm always browsing this subreddit anyway, so I figured I'd ask a big question while I was here. My son (I'll call him James) has a girlfriend (who will be called Mary). They've known each other since they were children and have been inseparable ever since. They used to play on the playground together... and our families are very, very close. Mary's mom is a very nice lady. She's very religious (their whole family is except for Mary) but she's never let that get in the way of our friendship. She understands I'm an atheist and so is my son and has never said anything bad about it. A few weeks ago I fell asleep on the couch while James and Mary were in James' room. I want to make it clear that I've been teaching James Sex Ed (and sometimes Mary, when she needed lady advice her mom felt uncomfortable giving) from a young age. I let them know that experimenting is okay, just wait until you're older (this was when they were about 13). Now they're both 17 and I'm not entirely comfortable with them "trying things out" but I know I was a teenager once. They're in high school and graduating soon. They're going to be having sex. Anyways, they had sex while I was asleep in the living room. They both knew they weren't allowed to have the door closed and Mary had to leave by eleven but... I fell asleep. James' father isn't in the picture, left when he was a small boy. So, even though they SWEAR they used a condom (James was in a tizzy, he even offered to prove it to me... by showing me the condom. I'll admit I did look into his trash and it does look like one was used and discarded.) Mary is now pregnant. She was never one to have kids, she always said how she never wanted them, much to her mothers disapproval. James isn't a child guy either. Maybe one day, but DEFINITELY not now!! She says she can't tell her mother or father and I completely understand why. They would make her carry the baby to term and raise it. Mary has colleges picked out, she's been saving for it all her life... She does NOT want a child. And since she found out so early, she and James sat me down and asked me if I could drive them to an abortion clinic if they made the appointment. I asked Mary if her parents knew, she said no. She doesn't want them to know. She never wants them to know. They'll shame her and even though I said her mother is a nice lady, I could see them kicking her out. So... I told them I would think about it. I'd be taking a child that isn't mine to get an abortion... but of course it effects my sons life, too. And mine as well. James has been crying every night about it. What do I do? Admittedly if I were her age, I would do the same thing! I just have absolutely no idea... TLDR: My son got his girlfriend pregnant. Her parents are religious and if they found out, they would want her to take it to term. They're still in high school so they both want an abortion. I want an abortion for them. They asked me to take them if they made the appointment. Should I? NOTE: that the nearest clinic is hours away, so public transport and driving themselves (neither has a car) would be out of the question. I'm their only chance.   Update #1: May 18, 2015 (three days later) [UPDATE] My [40'sF] Son's [17M] Girlfriend [17F] wants me to take her to get an abortion without her parents knowledge. A very short update to be sure, but the last few days have been hectic. My first post is here! (god it took me a long time to figure out how to get the link in there...) I looked at every single one of the 300+ replies and took each one to heart. I live in Canada, which I really should've mentioned!! Some of you were concerned that I would go to jail for this, and I can safely say that, no, I won't. That being said, I decided I am going to take her. There is no age limit here, she just needs to be old enough to understand the risks and things, and sign the paperwork, which she's able to do. I talked to the doctor for her over the phone (she has anxiety and this has been completely ruining her, so I had to talk for her) and they said she'll be there for a few hours before she can go home. The appointment is this Friday, since there was a supposed cancellation and the nurses were SO helpful and understood the situation. I told her mother I was taking her out to see the mountains this weekend with James, and that we'd be back Sunday. Her mother was very excited about it and said it would be good for her. (Mary is an introvert, her and James like playing online games. They both HATE camping, lol.) I am fully ready to help her the night we come back to my house. I just need to look online (and maybe some of you can help?!) for HOW I can help her. I know this is going to be very traumatic for her... My son has been taking it better since he knows for sure she's getting an abortion. He's still worried and VERY supportive for her, which I couldn't be more proud over. This has clearly brought them together. They have barely had a day go by where they aren't seeing each other. As for after all of this, I plan on talking to the counselor at their school. I will not tell them the situation, I just want to know the confidentiality rule. I'm unsure if Mary will be able to talk to them without them going and blabbing to her parents. If they 100% will not tell her parents (and I'll make them...sign a contract or something not to!! I swear!) then she's going to be spending time with them. I'm not trained for something like that, and I know she's going to need ALL the support she can get. I'll update you all after the appointment if you'd still like it, or if something bad happens (god forbid.) Thank you all so so so much for your help and advice. I would've been too much of a chickenshit to do anything on my own. TL:DR -- I'm taking Mary to the abortion clinic and making her as comfortable as possible until then. Everything’s A-OK right now, and I'll update you guys later again! OOP's Only Comments Commenter 1: Hey, you are an awesome person. Just a word of caution, you should speak with Mary first about going to the school counsellor. She might not want to speak with him/her about this. OOP: I have spoken to her, and she agrees she should. At first she was sort of "I don't feel different about it" but as time goes on, I think she realizes she has a fetus growing and she's getting some panic attacks here and there. Thanks for the concern (and for saying I'm an awesome person tee hee) Commenter 2: It's great that you're helping them. Just make sure they have enough specifics to say about their mountain trip to be convincing. Keep an eye on the weather. Be sure to take some scenic photos to have in case they ask. Make sure her clothes are a bit dirty. Their probable attitude might be "sure it was beautiful but not much interesting to do, and a bit too uncomfortable to sleep well" whatever... I get that it will be upsetting and this isn't at the forefront of your mind but your last post made it clear that this can never ever come out so go through what you have done on your trip before Sunday. OOP: I'm definitely going to take this into account. We all decided we would talk about it on the weekend after and Mary will text James if she tells her parents a detail they might bring up later. Really smart though, thanks for reminding me! I'll set a reminder on my phone for it. Commenter 3: As a teacher I have to say there's an extremely high chance the school counsellor will contact the parents. If confidentiality is a concern then look outside of the school system. Even where they aren't obligated to report/contact they very frequently do based on their own judgement, and they could easily change their mind about whatever they told you later. It's often a cause of upset for kids. OOP: This is what I feared. I have 10 free therapist visits provided from my work (something about how it was added to my insurance) so I will absolutely let her use them and then if/when she needs more, I'll work hard to help pay for it. For the therapist she plans on telling her parents that school and things are getting heavy on her. OOP on Mary's parents' religious background OOP: Her parents are very Christian and would've wanted her to carry it to term if they knew. Mary's only 17 and doesn't want a child. Other than that, her parents are very kind people. Mary says she'll tell them one day when she's older and ready to. :).   Update #2: September 4, 2015 (3.5 months later) It's been a long time and to be completely frank it's because I forgot all about Reddit until I was reading the other night. I figured I should give all of you wonderful people an update! I say wonderful because you've helped in more ways than you could imagine, /relationships! I mean, I did get an awfully lot of "pro-life"ers in my inbox, but... When you don't see eye-to-eye, there's just no arguing with people, right? Anyway! I did end up taking "James" and "Mary" to the clinic. Well, sort of. I couldn't exactly bring myself to do it, so I drove them to the mall in the center of town, which is near the clinic, and dropped them off so they could walk there. It was very emotional, and I told them I would be by later to pick them up... By the way, some of you asked if I would be there, and that's a no. Mary and James both turned 18 by the time the appointment came along, and frankly I don't think they wanted me there anyway. (I'm a very worried mother, what can I say?) I ended up driving around a lot (I drove past the clinic, which thankfully had no protesters out. I was worried about that the most...) and did some shopping. I bought Mary some track pants at Discount Town (I don't think I can say the name of companies on here? I'll call it that.) because she only had jeans packed. I figured she might be a bit uncomfortable afterwards, and I didn't want her in her pajama pants all day. I picked them up later that night and took them home. Mary's parents did think we were camping near the mountains (Some of you figured out which province I'm in because I mentioned that!!) and they never even texted her. Apparently they were busy doing house renovations anyway... By the time the weekend was over, Mary did have to go back home... and she was still in some pain but she claimed it was manageable. She told her parents she just had food poisoning and they didn't even question it! (But now I think they think I'm a shitty cook!?) Everything's been...normal. I don't feel regret. Mary's okay and James is getting a crate of condoms for Christmas. (Not actually lol) They said they would be a LOT safer, and Mary is looking into more birth control options. Everything went better than I could've hoped. I kept expecting her mother to kick down my door and ask what the hell I was doing. But nothing happened. Also, Mary has been seeing a therapist! She has some other issues other than the... abortion. She has slight depression, so she's getting help with it. She says she'll tell her parents one day, but not anytime soon. She's not comfortable with it. Honestly, I don't believe it myself. I guess all we can do now is move on! Thank you for all your help (honestly, most of the comments were EXTREMELY helpful). Thank you Reddit! tl;dr Mary got an abortion and is in therapy. Her parents never found out. She says she'll tell them one day.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/ThrowRANoRespectWife Originally posted to r/AITAH BoRUs: #1, #2. #3 [New Update]: AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, job loss, mentions of abuse, body injury, seizures, fears of infidelity, mentions infidelity, mentions financial abuse Mood Spoilers: sad, crazy Editor’s Notes: due to the lengths of prior posts altogether, they have exceeded the character limit. There are the TL;DRs for each of OOP’s posts prior to the latest updates. This is in order to fit all posts in the latest BoRU here. For the full text bodies of older posts and relevant comments, see the previous BoRUs linked above RECAP / TL;DRs I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 8, 2025 OOP, 35M, shares the breakdown of his marriage after losing his job due to the workplace conflict. His wife, who warned him the job would end badly, became the sole provider while pregnant, and their relationship deteriorated. After being asked to leave, he entered therapy, found new work, including three jobs, and was allowed to return home, though he now sleeps in the basement and has no emotional or physical connection with his wife. Despite his efforts to regain trust, she continues to criticize and dismiss him, often siding with her mother over him. A recent argument regarding their son’s minor post-surgery fever made him realize how little respect she has for him, leading him to question whether he’s truly making amends or being punished in a marriage that may already be beyond saving.   Anxiety that turns to panic: August 10, 2025 (two days later) OOP stayed home while his family went out of town for the weekend and is now spiraling with anxiety before they get back. He is obsessing over whether he did enough around the house, making multiple lists to justify it, but nothing helps. When he stopped distracting himself with Reddit, his anxiety turns into panic, and he is aware that doomscrolling isn’t a healthy coping mechanism. He is stuck in his head, feeling guilty and unable to calm down.   UPDATE: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 12, 2025 (two days later from the previous post, four days from the OG post) OOP updated and clarifies he’s been working hard since moving back home, holding down three jobs, managing childcare, cooking, and helping with household chores, and feels he’s doing his share, despite criticism. When his family returned from a weekend trip, OOP tried to talk with his wife about cutting back on work and starting marriage counseling. She dismissed the counseling idea and accused him of wanting to avoid responsibility when he suggested working less, explaining that she plans to reduce her hours and relies on his income. She mentioned his basement sleeping arrangement is partly due to his late-night work schedule but didn’t elaborate on other reasons. OOP brought up counseling again, and his wife reluctantly agreed to a Zoom “intro” session with a female counselor, though she avoids intimacy and is uninterested in date nights, saying they “aren’t there right now.” OOP feels lost on how to express concerns without sounding defensive and admits he has no one else to talk to.   Editor's note: after the update, OOP made a post onto a different subreddit regarding a question about how long do the couples try before calling it quits. That subreddit does not allow their posts to be cross-posted so I will not include the post here in the BoRU per the sub rules.   I didn't realize how much my family doesn't care until I came to Reddit: August 15, 2025 (three days later from the update post) OOP explains on how sharing his marital struggles on Reddit has made him realize just how isolated he is in real life. He said redditors have been supportive and offered advice. Their marriage remains strained, and OOP feels emotionally abandoned by his parents, his father distant and cold, his mother more invested in maintaining access to her grandkids and her relationship with OOP’s wife than supporting him. OOP describes the lifelong pattern of being blamed or dismissed by family, childhood bullying to adult failures, and now sees how little emotional values he holds to them than what he provides. He feels invisible, resigned to being ignored as his wife and parents carry on without him, concluding that it’s easier to hide away in the basement.   AITAH for snapping at my mom and hurting her feelings after she referred to my wife as a "single parent"?: August 19, 2025 (four days later) OOP recalls a tense family outing to the zoo resulting with him snapping at his mother after she referred to his wife as a “single parent.” OOP, who was struggling through a rocky marriage after losing his job and being temporarily kicked out, recently moved back home but still lives in the basement and feels unwelcome in his family. At the outing, he felt excluded and dismissed by both sets of parents, culminating in his mother’s comment implying that his wife was essentially raising their kids alone. Hurt and humiliated, OOP lost his composure, grabbed his son, and walked off, sarcastically remarking that he should get “some practice as a single parent.” His mother left in tears, and both his wife and in-laws told him he overreacted. OOP is questioning whether his emotional response was justified or if he was the one in the wrong for letting his frustration boil over.   Editor’s note: in this update, OOP has given names for ease of readability UPDATE #2: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 22, 2025 (three days later) OOP reviews on the first marriage counseling session with his wife, “Carrie,” following a prior incident when he snapped at his mother. Carrie apologized for his mother’s hurtful “single parent” comment, saying she never viewed him that way and still trusted his commitment as a father, the kind words she’s offered in a long time. Counseling revealed deeper issues: Carrie admitted she doesn’t know if she loves or respects OOP anymore, as her feelings are buried under resentment. She revealed her resentment stems not only from OOP losing his job, also from years of her family’s disapproval, including her mother’s and sister’s belief that OOP wasn’t right for her and suspicions during her pregnancy that he was cheating with his longtime female friend, “Ellie.” Though Carrie later realized he hadn’t cheated and defended him to her family, OOP’s job loss “proved them right” in her eyes, reigniting that bitterness. The session ended with small progress: OOP was allowed to move from the basement to the guest room, and Carrie agreed to let him think about her request to reduce her work hours for weekly “girls’ nights.”   AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers?: August 29, 2025 (one week later) OOP mentioned after the tense marriage counseling session where the therapist encouraged him and his wife to spend more time together, new conflicts arose over holiday weekend plans. Every year, Carrie’s family gathers at her parents’ lake camp, but given the strained relationship between OOP and his in-laws, especially after learning they’ve disapproved of him, he thought it would be better for his wife and kids to stay home so they could reconnect privately. Carrie began packing for the lake trip without including him, saying she wanted to “spend the weekend with [her] family.” OOP tried to use calm “I feel” statements, suggesting that her going without him contradicted their counselor’s advice. Carrie took that as an ultimatum, accused him of being controlling, and locked herself in their bedroom. OOP feels conflicted, unsure if he was genuinely trying to prioritize their family or if, as Carrie says, he was being an AH by guilt-tripping her for wanting time with her relatives. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA   Update #1: September 5, 2025 (one week later) After a tense argument about Carrie choosing between spending holiday weekend with her family or with OOP and their kids, she unexpectedly apologized and offered a compromise, spending one night at her family’s camp before returning to spend the rest of the weekend together. The time they spent as a family went well and almost normal, but tensions resurfaced when Carrie brought up wanting regular “girls’ nights” with her mother and sister, both of whom dislike him. She justified it by saying her sister’s husband had left after she cheated during one of those nights, and she wanted to support her sister through the breakup. Though OOP tried to stay calm, he felt uneasy that his wife arranged her schedule for the outings and both she and their therapist saw it as healthy progress. Carrie heads out for her first girls’ night, OOP admits he’s trying to convince himself he’s fine with it, he feels anxious and uncertain.   Why do only the negatives linger?: September 8, 2025 (three days later) OOP vents about feeling emotionally exhausted and conflicted while waiting for an emergency therapy session. He explains that despite receiving supportive comments on Reddit, the only ones that stick with him are negative ones, those accusing him of being the real problem, a bad husband, or an abuser. Criticism eats away at him, leaving him doubting himself and feeling unworthy of love or compassion. He admits he almost posted in an abuse support subreddit after realizing how poorly he’s been treated, but a heated exchange with another Redditor sent him spiraling again, making him question everything. Now, OOP feels ashamed, needy, and frustrated with himself for caring so much about strangers’ opinions and wonders why it’s so hard to silence the self-blame and thinks he deserves better.   Update #2: September 11, 2025 (three days later) OP shares in an emotional update, that his young son fell down the stairs and broke his arm, with doctors also checking for possible head trauma. He recounts the terrifying moment, how he was carrying his daughter and couldn’t reach his son in time, and now feels crushed with guilt despite no one, including his wife or in-laws, blaming him. His wife rushed back from a work event to be with them at the hospital, and for once, both sides of the family managed to come together peacefully in support of their injured child. OOP writes from the children’s hospital lounge, emotionally drained, trying to make sense of what happened while battling intense self-blame. He later adds his son has been released, is in good spirits, and is proudly showing off his cast, bringing a small bit of relief after harrowing few days.   Update #3: September 23, 2025 (12 days later) OP shares Child Protective Services was called on him for alleged neglect after his son’s fall, but the hospital wasn’t the one who reported it, meaning a family member likely did. He and Carrie are being cautious about confronting anyone until they confirm who made the report. OOP has spoken with a lawyer and is in intensive therapy, where he’s confronting longstanding issues with self-worth, honesty, and his need to defend himself.   Editor's note: OOP has made a separate post onto a different subreddit after Update #3 regarding his son's fall accident incident. That subreddit does not allow their posts to be cross posted so I will not add OOP's post here   Explaining it to a partner: October 2, 2025 OOP had a breakthrough in therapy, finally recognizing his parents, especially his mother, as emotionally immature. After years of minimizing their behavior and convincing himself that it “wasn’t that bad,” he began to understand how their emotional neglect shaped him. When he tried to explain this realization to Carrie, the conversation fell apart; he couldn’t express it clearly, felt like his examples sounded weak, and ended up feeling foolish.   Update #4: October 8, 2025 (six days later) OOP reveals the CPS report accusing him of neglecting his son was made by his own mother, not his in-laws, as he and his wife had suspected. After confronting his parents, his mother admitted to filing the report, claiming she believed he had hurt his son and citing a long-held (and false) belief that he had cheated on his wife years ago. OOP discovered his MIL once told his mother about the supposed affair but never clarified it wasn’t true, allowing misunderstandings to fester for years. The revelation left OP devastated, estranged from his parents, and distant from Carrie as he struggles to process the betrayal. Continuing individual and marriage counseling, he made progress in recognizing his parents’ emotional immaturity, and even quit one of his three jobs, his first major independent decision in a long time.   Parents think I'm incompetent: October 14, 2025 (six days later from Update #4) My current relationship with my parents is a complicated mess that likely won't get better any time soon. But I've started noticing some patterns through therapy and I've come to the conclusion that my parents have always thought that I'm basically incompetent. Their overriding opinion of me is that I can't really do anything on my own and if someone (them, my wife) isn't there to "guide" me, I will fail at almost everything. Any time I don't listen to them or follow their way of doing things, there's an automatic assumption that it will all go wrong. And it seems like there's some truth to it. I didn't listen to my wife when she told me I wasn't a good fit for a job and I ended up being asked to resign. I chose to ignore my parents' advice on my choice of college and major and I ended up needing to change majors twice and transfer to a different college. My son recently had a seizure that led to a fall down the stairs and my mother's immediate and unchanging assumption was/is that, at best, I failed to keep a good enough eye on him or, at worst, I actually caused both things to happen through poor parenting. I could give you a list (I'm sure my parents have one) of other such evidence. But I can't figure out if I'm actually incompetent, if they just get in my head and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, or if I've just been trained over the years to the point where I actually believe it. Anyone else ever dealt with parents thinking that they're too incompetent to manage anything on their own?   A little light in the dark: October 16, 2025 (two days later) I'm sitting here in the dark in my daughter's nursery (not sure what age it goes from nursery to bedroom) because she's having a rough night and will only sleep with one of us in the room with her. We had to do MC tonight via video call as we've lost our primary babysitters and I'm kind of grateful for my daughter's 'insomnia' tonight as it's given me a reason to sit in the quiet and try to process. Apparently, I've ended up on TikTok and YouTube and BoRU and the wiki sub. And I'm mildly proud of myself that I haven't tried defending myself on either sub (baby steps, right?) but it's given me a lot to think about as I'm getting comments and msgs from people who are just now seeing some of posts. It's weird seeing people arguing about whether I should have just called the doctor (my very first post) or whether I'm a misogynist for not getting along with my female coworker. It feels like years since any of that was my biggest issue. But as weird as it's been to see so many comments on things that have been buried by more recent crap and as rough as MC was tonight (therapist had some choice words for Carrie and I almost felt like jumping in to defend her) and as hard as it's been ignoring every attempt my parents make at contacting us, I had a moment tonight that felt like relief and breathing again. And since I only ever share the angst and drama and catastrophe, I wanted to share something good. Carrie saw how hard I've been taking things with my mom (which, based on the Reddit Cares msgs I've gotten, came through pretty clearly in my one recent comment) and she understood that there wasn't much she could do, seeing as how tangled up in it she is. And whether we stay together or not, tonight she showed she still has some care for me. She called Ellie. She called her and she asked her to come here to see me. And so, my best friend will be here this weekend. Carrie already made us all a reservation at the same restaurant we had our wedding reception at and she's offered to either take the kids for a day so Ellie and I can hang or to make herself scarce so our son can spend some time with Aunt E and I won't feel like I need to walk on eggshells. I haven't told Ellie all of what's happened (and I'm going to get a stern talking to about that) but it's a better feeling than I would have imagined to know I'll have at least a few days with someone who is one hundred percent 'team me'. It's nice to have something to look forward to and to have some time to just sit in the dark and hold my daughter's hand and pretend I'm just a typical dad doing typical dad stuff. Just wanted to share.   Editor’s note: In the next two posts, OOP was just venting about his childhood memories, life experiences growing up, and his parents Missing reasons: October 24, 2025 (eight days later) When does it stop feeling like whining?: October 29, 2025 (five days later)   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update: AITAH for asking my wife to choose between her family and ours: November 6, 2025 (eight days later) If you’re interested in how we got here: my last real update. And all the rest are in my post history. I realized today that it's been almost a month since I gave an ‘official’ update. A lot has been going on, including Ellie’s visit, a few breakthroughs in therapy, and trying to manage a household with a toddler with a serious medical condition. I’m still processing/working through a ton, but since Ellie was here, I had a little less need to process in “public”, as it were. But now she’s gone back home and things are sort of shifting back to where they were before the seizure and CPS except that I don’t really feel like I’m looking at any of it the same way, whether that’s good or bad, I don’t honestly know yet. We still don’t have any real answers as to what’s causing my son’s seizures. But his new medication regimen has them more or less under control and we’re cautiously optimistic while still taking some extra precautions. So far, so good on that front. He’s handling it all far better than either of his parents are, I can tell you that. I got a few comments and msgs asking about whether I ever spoke to BIL after he reached out. We had a brief chat over coffee the day before Ellie arrived. He and I have never been close - he is or was the golden child son-in-law and we have absolutely nothing in common - but, apparently, he still felt like it was his “duty” to warn me about some things, so I could be more prepared than he was. Turns out that my SIL has been financially abusive/controlling toward him for quite a while and when he confronted her about a credit card that he didn’t know she had opened, she went ballistic and that was what led her to the bar and a guy she used to know and it went from there. He didn’t expand much on SIL’s cheating so I’m still not clear if it was a one-time thing or a long-term affair (Carrie’s had conflicting answers) but really, he just wanted to give me a heads up so I could check our finances in case Carrie had been following her sister’s lead in that regard. So, I did check. And that led to a blowup in MC because I found some… irregularities. No secret credit cards or anything like that. But Carrie’s been spending considerably more than I realized and some of that spending was actually giving, as in giving SIL cash that I suspect was her way of paying for her cheating related expenses so BIL wouldn’t catch on. It didn’t go particularly well when I called Carrie out on it during counseling and it went worse when our therapist essentially took my side and gave her some tough love that was more tough than it was love. The phrases ‘family loyalty’, ‘she needed help’, and ‘you made the choice to get fired so I get to make the choice on how to spend my money’ were all thrown around. To be fair: Carrie apologized later for everything she said, though she stopped short of apologizing for what she did and her sister’s cheating has become a bigger issue in MC than I ever thought it would. We’ve had three sessions since the blowup and somehow they all keep circling back to the cheating and all our talking about what Carrie knew and what she didn’t feels a lot like dancing around the possibility of her following in her sister’s footsteps and the money stuff being the first step down that path. And that somehow always manages to lead right back to her original accusations against me, the ones that led to her mom snitching to my mom but then never following up with the truth. There were some commenters who suggested that Carrie might have been setting some kind of ‘trap’ by inviting Ellie. I’m not going to say you were right but, well, you were right. Sort of. It was more of a preemptive strike, a ‘see, I trust you’ and ‘look, I can still do things that suggest I might still love you’ move as the day after Ellie left, Carrie broached the subject of how her mother telling my mother that I had cheated had played a role in my mom reporting me to CPS (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.) Basically, my wife asked me to be the bigger person (like she’d been by inviting Ellie) and to chalk that up to an innocent mistake on my MIL’s part and now that it was all water under the bridge because everyone knew the truth, maybe my MIL and I could have a sit down and try to bury the hatchet. I had like six good lines about where I might like to bury that hatchet, but I didn’t actually use any of them and that was in no small part to being too fucking shocked to hear it described as water under the bridge to find my voice. Carrie did her best to frame it as all of us moving forward “for the kids” since it seemed like our son and daughter might soon only have one set of grandparents, assuming that I was going to go no contact with my parents. Someone asked on one of my other posts why it wasn’t ‘easy’ for me to just cut them off and this turns out to be one of the big reasons: *If I go no contact and Carrie and I stay together, then my entire family will be her family and I think I’ve spelled out all the reasons that would be an incredibly bad idea for me. *If I go no contact and Carrie and I divorce, then I’ve got no one except a best friend who is thousands of miles away and two kids who I’ll only see some of the time. My therapist suggested that that might have been my mom’s plan all along, or at least a consideration - the idea that I’ll roll over and forgive and continue to play my role because I’m incapable of being alone or standing up for myself. She took an action that was so insane because she fully believed there would be no consequences to it, at least not for her. Not to speak poorly of myself, but I have to admit that wouldn’t have been an unreasonable calculation by my mother. And since I haven’t ‘officially’ gone no contact yet, she probably thinks that it’s only a matter of time before I come crawling back. A month ago, she might have been right. But I’ve been digging down into everything related to my parents in therapy and doing all my ‘homework’, which has essentially been a lot of journaling (some of which ended up as a Reddit post) and talking to my inner child and confronting the pain without actually confronting the people who caused it. Turns out that all my posting on here was me doing some of that in terms of my marriage even though I didn’t realize it at the time. And that, it seems, is a pattern: me not realizing things. While Ellie was here, she and I talked a lot and she pointed out some things (in much less gentle ways than my therapist does) that I hadn’t noticed, some patterns that exist in my relationships with my parents and with Carrie. Ellie described them as patterns of neglect, at best, and patterns of abuse, at worst. I pushed back and resisted that, at first. But when I shared it with my therapist, expecting her to agree with me, she guided me into considering it a light I hadn’t thought of before. She asked me, point blank, who the person I trust most in the world is (Ellie) and then she asked me if I trusted her that much, why wasn’t I trusting her judgement, why was I fighting so hard against everything Ellie was trying to tell me. My answer: because Ellie’s supposed to be on my side so, of course, she’d see it all in a way that made me look good or like the victim so how could I trust such a clearly biased opinion? And then my therapist asked me if I felt so strongly that I couldn’t or shouldn’t trust a biased or self-serving opinion, then why was I so dead set on trusting Carrie’s opinion or my mother’s. I had no good answer for her. Hell, I had no answer at all for her. And I still don’t. But I need to find one, as that’s my therapeutic homework for next session: to try and find a reason that I can actually defend for why I will just accept my wife or my mom’s views of me without question, but refuse to consider that my best friend might see things more clearly than either of them do. I’ve been working on it since Tuesday morning and so far I’ve got nothing which, I suspect, is the point. That’s where I’m at, if anyone still cares. And I do want to say thank you to everyone who reached out with comments or messages on my other posts, especially those who shared experiences with their own families. I haven’t ever really talked about any of this before, so it’s helped a lot to hear that I’m not unique and while that’s depressing to an extent (why can’t we have nice families?) it’s helping me to feel slightly less anxious about it all. I know I don’t reply to messages, but I read them all and they mean more than you know. tl;dr: SIL was financially abusive, my wife gave her money and made me out to be the bad guy for being upset. Carrie wants me to make up with her mom after the cheating accusations. I haven't gone NC with my parents yet because I'm afraid of being alone and Ellie and my therapist both think there are patterns of abuse in my relationships.   Latest Update here: BoRU #5   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

So... Yostar messed up, big time. One of the gacha darlings expected to release came out and it flopped harder than a chocolate soufflè. Let's get to business with the usual rubric: Rerolling Quite fast, very easy, big "error margin" per reroll given the built-in reroll start and the launch rewards (20+ limited pulls I believe.) The Gacha and Pulls Income This is bad... Pull currency revenue is about the same as hoyo games, with 5-10 little gems at a time. ...Issue? The pulls cost 300 and not 150/160. This is a slap in the face after showing in the beta that pulls were 150 each. This is compounded by paid packs not accomodating this price increase, leading to OUTRAGEOUS demands such as 4 dollars per single pull or 50 dollars barely getting you 25 pulls. Or whales doing the math and finding out you need 400dollars to guarantee one character without signature. But let's get to that gacha, which also stinks to high heaven. The gacha is 2% with 50/50, guaranteed at 120. In order: -There is no pity giving you extra 5*s if you fail along the way. You just get the character at 120. -If you fail the 50/50, there is no guaranteed next 50/50 is a win. I have lost 4 50/50s in a row. -The rates description is VERY confusing, on one side saying you get the rate-up at 120 and right after saying you have a guaranteed within 160 rolls. -Every 10pulls, you get 1 free single roll on the "weapon banner" Abysmal is not even remotely close to describe this mess. We will talk more about how much you are rewarded when clearing content later. Character pool There are currently 8 5* and 16 4*. But it might as well be only 8 5* characters. The divide in damage between the two is SO BIG it makes 4* absolutely worthless to run as main dps, even when running mono-element. More in the combat section. Character building Sigh.... have we learned NOTHING from Ash Echoes complaints??? To build the characters, the game makes you play a """roguelike""" mode (yes I'm putting it in brackets since so far there are no branching paths you can choose to explore when clearing rooms and it's basically a long forced corridor) and then take a snapshot recording of your build at the end. You then combine this data with your team current level and skill level and go clear every other content. For HSR players, imagine if you had to run Simulated Universe over and over to record clears and then having to use those clears to do any content in the game. For the build itself, you have a main dps you control and two support units that you can call to use their skills or ultimates. Every character can pick a variety of Potentials personalised to them like Boons. Think like buffs from HI3 Elysian realms except you also pick buffs for the 2 support units. You also get "records", aka weapons, that give you substats and a passive to trigger IF you get enough musical notes during your roguelike run. (Think Equations from HSR SU) The game does have a relic system but nobody has been able to access it because... well we'll see in the progression section why. One last big elephant to address: dupes. For 4* characters, you need TWO dupes to get 1 Talent level (Eidolon). This is kind of a deaf point since, as I already adressed, 4* characters are worthless as main dps but still. Players are having lots of problems especially when they would like to max their favorite character. This issue is only linked to 4* as 5* give the full amount of fragments needed to fully unlock a talent. Progression RUN. This is, by far, the most awful possible thing ever. So, every single system in-game is locked behind Account level. Account levelling is done by doing dailies and spending stamina.... Remember day1 HSR issues of having content locked behind level and people just not having the stamina to get over that wall? Yeah, this is that but 10 times worse. You get a "mini" wall at level 10 to 11 And then the Dead Sea from 11 to 13-15 (next unlock point). Only people who have bought the battlepass have currently reached level 15. The stamina recharge rate and initial stamina items are ridiculously low, leading to f2ps being sitting ducks for a few days. This wouldn't be a problem if players were able to properly level up their characters in the meanwhile.... ...oh boi. The game has boxes to pick and choose ascension materials for character level cap, skill level, record level etc. As soon as you run out of those boxes, you are in no man land. Every material quest cost 30 stamina. At difficulty 4 (unlocked at level 11) you get 6 common materials and the chance to drop 1 Rare material. You can trade 3 commons for 1 rare. ...you need 10 commons... AND 15 RARES to go from level 30 to 40 on a single character. In the worst case (which is very very unlikely), you would need to spend 270 stamina for a single level uncap. You get 1 stamina point every 6 minutes, do the math. In worst case scenario (which again, unlikely), you would need 1620 minutes to get a single low-level uncap... OR TWENTYSEVEN HOURS. Assuming you get a 1 drop every run aka best case, you will still need 7 runs, or 210 stamina, or 1260 minutes or 21 hours. This is plainly ridiculous. Yes, the game showers you at the start in material boxes but those are not even enough to clear the required uncapped characters number for the "beginner" quests. Skill levels go even worse. At difficulty 3, you get 7 common drops and chance at 1 rare drop. Skill costs are 6>12>24>38 for commons and 0>0>3>8 for rare materials. There are 4 skills per character, albeit you will only have to level 3 for a character you use as main dps and 2 for supports. Still, let's assume a main dps. You will need to level up 3 skills till level 4, 126 commons and 9 rares. Just to reach the target common mats needed, you will have to run 18 times. And that's without accounting for Rare drops. So yea... ABSOLUTELY HORRID. Also no, the game has no "converting down" system. Account level-wise, the exp gates needed are also high af leading to players being stuck in limbo with nothing to do. Just... no. Combat system The combat is bird-eye view with auto-shooting mechanics. It's basically Vampire Survivors but you also get to activate skills and ultimates. Enemies are GIANT Hp-sponges, and healers are basically useless at the current point because even without dodging you are never in danger. AND if you slot in an healer, you are losing SUBSTANTIAL damage on the overall. Now, I did want to talk about why 4*s are useless. As I already said, you only actively control one character as a main dps. The game heavily favors running mono-elemental teams due to how Records passives work. Even then, the damage numbers from 4*s are abysmal. One of the content, arena, has elemental arenas where you need to run a record with a main dps of a certain element. ...well. In the water arena, I first tried a mono-water team with all 4*s. I failed miserably. I then made a record with the same dps and 2 5*s supports (Minova and Mistique for those interested). Well? Would you look at that, I'm suddenly clearing everything. HOWEVER, more funnily enough, the supports are doing 5x the damage of my main 4* dps. This is an issue that's gonna be curved in time with bigger character pools yada yada but the fact the character I, the player, I'm playing is dealing infinitely lower damage than the characters I activate with a button is soul-crushing. Content What content?? Here's the list of content available to level 11 players and their "rewards": -Main story. Only 2 main chapters currently in game. 360 gems for the first, 480 for the second. -Ascension (roguelike). 3 towers, 3 difficulties. 100 gems per difficulty cleared. You also get 5-10 gems for stuff, like collecting 10-20etc. different Boons for each individual character or unlocking archive notes by running them. -Menace arena. (wave mode/element-check mode). 7 arenas, 6 element ones (2 per day rotate). 5 difficulties for the general one, 3 for the element ones. 200 gems per difficulty. Yes, clearing an entire 10 wave arena doesn't even give you a single pull. -Cataclysm Survivor (Literally Vampire Survivor. Incredible naming Yostar). *Technically* All 7 difficulties unlocked but you most likely will only clear the first two at this point. 100 gems per difficulty+ some 5 gems every 15 cards of a certain combat style you collect in a run. -Basic trial (level up fodder). 3 difficulties. 50 gems per difficulty. -Tier up trials (level uncap mats). 3 bosses, 4 difficulties. 50 gems per difficulty. -Skill trial (skill materials). 3 bosses, 3 difficulties. 50 gems per difficulty. And that's about it. The 3 last modes need all 30 stamina to run. There is no launch event, no infinite roguelike mode, nothing. And the content that is there spits in your face with the rewards given, may it be first clear gems or level up materials. You do get 100 gems per level and 500gems every-time you clear a quest bundle to guide you through progression (beginner quests), but that's, again, stamina-gated. Heavily. Monetization I already said most of the bad in the gacha section but lemme add more! The welkin is 5 dollars, 90 gems per day+600 from purchase, leading to 3300 gems vs 3000 gems on hsr/genshin... Problem is over there that's 18.75 pulls, here it's only 11. And if you are wondering, dailies only give 100 gems. However the biggest insult has to be the battlepass, Ofc classic stuff like the normal track only gives perma-pulls, if you buy the normal pass you also get to pick one of several battlepass only weapons etc. ...the issue is the skin. If you pay 7 extra dollars, you get a special pfp and a character skin... ...well. Turns out it's not a skin but just a wallpaper. You heard me right, the paid skin doesn't change AT ALL the character 3d model. It's only a live2d wallpaper, with the extra insult that when inspecting it in the battlepass buyscreen it has a switch between 3d and 2d toggle and it just shows you the base model. Absolutely insane. Ridiculous. Dramas Well, basically all of the above with CN/JP players rioting due to how bad EVERYTHING is but with a few small extras. Mainly, the fact that between beta and release the gacha cost was DOUBLED and rates were altered. Also some CC blatantly being sponsored and having to be very... "mute" about the situation and treading carefully. Yostar, on their end, made no comments about any of this despite the loud response. Also JP VAs later having a playthrough livestream to promote the game and everyone knowing it's gonna end horribly chat-side... Conclusion Skip. Just don't. Just play more Blue Archive if you want "that" stuff. This is a pit of greed, lament, uninspired game mechanics and just... no. You want a new game? Go play CZN. You want a good game? All glory to Limbus Company. Thank you for the read EDIT: Just adding some extra stuff. 1. Pity. You get a guaranteed at 120 on a single banner. That one doesn't carry over. After that, there s a guaranteed within 160 rolls that does carry over, I do not know if the 120 guaranteed cancels the 160 pity. 2. Tech incompetence. Mainly, in the game you can invite some of the girls to hangout at dates.... the hangouts are copy pasted, nothing personalised. Also for whatever reason the gacha pull audio is separate from the game app audio and it messes up when muting game window. 3. The livestream. As predicted, it's currently a mess. The chat is full of people both EN and JP demanding changes and moderators constantly deleting, muting and banning chatters. submitted by /u/gugali123 to r/gachagaming [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/ThrowRANoRespectWife Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1, #2 [New Update]: AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: emotional abuse and manipulation, job loss, mentions of abuse, body injury, seizures, fears of infidelity, mentions infidelity Mood Spoilers: sad, crazy Editor’s Notes: due to the lengths of prior posts altogether, they have exceeded the character limit. I have put a TL;DR for each of OOP’s posts prior to the latest update. This is in order to fit all posts in the latest BoRU here. For the full text bodies of older posts and relevant comments, please see the previous BoRUs linked above Editor's notes: per the mods, I have amended summaries of the older posts that were not posted prior to the original post. This is in order to add more context I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 8, 2025 OOP (35M) gives the breakdown of his marriage after losing his job due to his pride and conflict at work. His wife (32F), who had warned him against taking the job, became the sole provider while pregnant, leading to immense stress and asking him to leave. Since then, he worked hard to rebuild, getting therapy, securing three jobs, and moving back in, but his wife remains distant and emotionally disconnected, offering no affection or respect. Tensions peaked when she sided with her mother over a medical disagreement about their son, stating she no longer respects his opinion. Despite his efforts to atone, he’s left wondering whether he’s truly making amends or being punished in a marriage that's already emotionally over.   Anxiety that turns to panic: August 10, 2025 (two days later) OOP is alone for the weekend while his family was away, he spiraled into anxiety over whether he has done enough in their absence, cycling through lists and Reddit threads in a desperate attempt to quiet the panic he couldn't escape from.   UPDATE: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 12, 2025 (two days later from the previous post, four days from the OG post) OOP gives an update after seeking feedback from Reddit about his strained marriage. He works three jobs to support his family since moving back in, but his wife isn’t receptive to his suggestion of cutting back on hours to focus more on their relationship. Instead, she insists that his three jobs are necessary for her to reduce her own work hours. He brought up marriage counseling and the idea of date nights, but his wife shot down both. She agreed to counseling but on her terms, and the suggestion of date nights was rejected, with her interpreting it as a push for something sexual. Despite the setbacks, OOP is committed to work on his marriage and hopes the upcoming counseling session will help rebuild trust.   Editor's note: after the update, OOP made a post onto a different subreddit regarding a question about how long do the couples try before calling it quits. That subreddit does not allow their posts to be cross-posted so I will not be adding the post here in the BoRU per the sub rules.   I didn't realize how much my family doesn't care until I came to Reddit: August 15, 2025 (three days later from the update post) OOP is struggling with his marriage and personal hardships, and he turns to Reddit for support, only to realize his family and friends offer little genuine care or emotional support; feeling isolated and undervalued, he confronts the painful truth that those closest to him see him mainly for what he provides rather than who he is, leaving him emotionally neglected and disconnected even as he tries to navigate the challenges at home.   AITAH for snapping at my mom and hurting her feelings after she referred to my wife as a "single parent"?: August 19, 2025 (four days later) OOP reconciled with his wife after losing his job and being temporarily kicked out, attended a tense family zoo outing with their two young children and both sets of parents; during the trip, his mother made a hurtful comment calling his wife a “single parent,” ignoring his ongoing contributions, which led him to snap, take his son, and walk away in tears, now he’s wondering if his reaction made him the asshole, especially since his wife and in-laws believe he overreacted.   UPDATE #2: I messed up and it feels like my wife will never move past it. Should I keep letting her punish me or is it time to say enough is enough?: August 22, 2025 OOP updated on his ongoing marriage struggles and counseling sessions. During the session, his wife, Carrie, revealed she had significant resentment toward OOP for standing by her family despite their disapproval of him and for losing his job, which confirmed the negative views. She also shared that her family, particularly her mother, had disliked OOP and she had suspected him of cheating during her pregnancy, which worsened her family's view of him. Carrie admitted she doesn't know if she loves him due to the overwhelming resentment. OOP, in turn, expressed feeling attacked and shut down during the session, but both agreed on a small step forward: he would move out of the basement into the guest room. They are trying to navigate their issues in marriage counseling, though there is too much uncertainty.   RECAP / TL;DRs AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers?: August 29, 2025 AITAH for asking my wife to choose our family over hers? OOP shared his thoughts following a previous situation where he forced his way into a family zoo trip, which many criticized him for what took place. This time, he has attempted an opposite approach, stepping back from a planned family weekend at his in-laws' lake camp due to ongoing marital issues, strained relationship with his wife's family, and main concerns about emotional boundaries. OOP and his wife are in marriage counseling after a six-month separation, and the therapist emphasized the importance of spending more time together. When his wife began packing for the lake trip without him, he suggested instead staying home and spending the holiday weekend together as a family in their neighborhood. His wife rejected the idea, stating she wanted to be with her family, which he interpreted as her choosing her extended family over their immediate one. He tried to express his feelings calmly, but his wife saw his responses as an ultimatum. She accused him of emotional pressure, locked herself in the bedroom, and he was left unsure of whether she and the kids would leave without him in the morning. Now, he’s questioning whether he was the AH for how he handled this. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA   Update #1: September 5, 2025 (one week later) OOP is back with an update following a tense conflict with his wife, Carrie, about whether she was prioritizing her extended family over their immediate one. After difficult conversations and therapy session, Carrie apologized for lashing out and acknowledged the validity of his concerns. They reached a compromise: she and the kids would visit her family at the lake for part of the weekend, then return to spend the rest with him. The compromise went smoothly, and they enjoyed a positive family day. Tension resurfaced when Carrie brought up resuming her plan to have weekly girls’ nights with her mother and sister of which both of them dislike OOP and his marriage. Despite his concerns about potential negative influence, Carrie revealed her sister was going through a crisis: her husband had left her after discovering she cheated. Carrie insisted her sister needed her support, and she already arranged her work schedule accordingly. Though uneasy, OOP agreed, trying to trust that this compromise was a sign of progress, even as he is anxious about the people his wife was spending time with and what it could mean for their fragile relationship.   Why do only the negatives linger?: September 8, 2025 (three days later) OOP explains his internal struggles and frustration as he prepares for therapy sessions. He is feeling overwhelmed by negative comments online, which linger in his mind and amplify his feelings of guilt and self-doubt. Despite receiving support from many, it's the criticism that he focuses on, leading him to question whether he deserve better treatment and if he is at fault in the situation. There is a sense of confusion and emotional exhaustion, with OOP feeling stuck in a cycle of self-blame and frustration.   Update #2: September 11, 2025 (three days later) OOP shared a traumatic incident that involves his younger son where he fell down the stairs at home. In spite of following strict safety rules, including holding the railing and taking extra precautions, the son lost his footing and fell down several stairs, breaking his arm and potentially suffering head trauma. Emergency services were called, and his wife was away at a work event, and arrived at the hospital shortly after. While both his in-laws and parents kept things civil and focused on supporting the child, OOP couldn’t shake off overwhelming guilt, feeling responsible for not being quicker in preventing his son's fall. Despite reassurances from his wife, the doctors, and others that no one blamed him for the fall incident, he was struggling emotionally. The family is expected to stay at the hospital for a while, but OOP found solace in taking a mental break. He shared that his son is in good spirits and excited about having people sign his cast, providing a sense of relief after an intense and worrying few days.   Update #3: September 23, 2025 (12 days later) Since the last update regarding his son's accident, OOP shares a CPS report was made against them by a family member, not the hospital, accusing them of neglect related to their son’s fall. OOP and his wife are unsure who made the report and plan to address it carefully with their therapist, likely to be someone who doesn't like OOP very much because of what took place few weeks prior to his son's accident. OOP is also consulting lawyers to cover his bases with everything going on. Meanwhile, OOP and his wife undergoing intensive therapy focused on confronting their martial issues, long-avoided personal issues like low self-worth, difficulty being honest about their feelings, and a compulsive need to defend themselves. They appreciate the support from the community, but they aren’t ready for the private conversations due to trust concerns. OOP promises to update if there are new developments about the CPS report, family tensions, or progress in counseling.   Editor's note: OOP has made a separate post onto a different subreddit after Update #3 regarding his son's fall accident incident. That subreddit does not allow their posts to be cross posted so I will not add OOP's post here   ----NEW UPDATES---- Explaining it to a partner: October 2, 2025 I had a breakthrough of sorts today in therapy. For the first time, I was willing to identify my parents as emotionally immature, my mom in particular. I have been resisting labelling them, always backing off of it whenever the idea came up, and consistently minimizing what they said and how they acted when I was a kid. It was never that bad, they didn't beat me, I'm just exaggerating it in my head. Today, I was able to get past that, at least for a little while, and call it what it was. But then I tried explaining it to my wife, as I've really started to see patterns emerging that explain a lot about me. It didn't go well. I could not articulate it the way I wanted to or express how my therapist explained the concept. And every example I tried to give sounded less and less 'worthy' and I just gave up because I felt desperate and ridiculous. How can I explain this in a way she will understand? Is there a guide to these kinds of conversations? Something I could have her read or watch to help? This is all very new to me and I'm still trying to wrap my own head around it so I can't imagine how confused I made her with my less than logical explanations.   Update #4: October 8, 2025 (six days later) This got taken down in AITAH (but might go back up in their update sub) so I'm posting it again on my profile, if anyone is looking. I’ve had an update written three times, but deleted them all. So much has gone on in the last couple of weeks that I’ve been processing through writing, but it was never concrete enough to post. It’s been suggested that I’m too vague and leave important stuff out, so I wanted to make sure I was more focused and less working stuff out on the page. And then this last weekend happened, and I found myself completely lost. To answer some questions I’ve received: * Individual and marriage counseling are ongoing. They’ve both been hard, filled with as many steps back as forward, and IC in particular has been painfully enlightening * My wife and her family - there have been fewer girls’ nights and my wife hasn’t spent a lot of time with her mother or her sister. I did speak with BIL after he reached out. That’s a shitshow of its own and I’m trying to stay out of it but SIL’s cheating has become something of a dividing line in my wife’s family so there’s been drama there. * I’ve been replying to comments here and there as practice at not giving in to the need to defend myself and I even read all the comments on the BORU of my posts (some of them out loud with my therapist) as a way of trying to come to terms with the idea that I don’t have to care about what everyone thinks of me. But none of that seems important in light of the bigger issue: the CPS situation. I’ve known since the in-home visit what the report actually said (in our state, they have to tell you that but not who made it.) The report alleged that my son’s fall was not the result of a seizure or that, if it was, the seizures themselves were brought on by neglect or abuse on my part and that my son was in danger of something worse happening. The medical evidence says that's all bullshit, but the report was still made, and CPS had to follow up. I know most commenters have thought it was my MIL or SIL who made the report and so did my wife. But early last week she drove to her mother's house and confronted them both about it (SIL is temporarily living with my in-laws.) They flat out denied it, claiming that they both believed the seizure was the cause and that they would never jump right to CPS for fear that it might backfire on my wife. Carrie wasn’t one hundred percent sold, but their explanation made enough sense to possibly be true. About the same time, my therapist guided me into talking about the family dynamics in my house when I was growing up, which ended up with me making a ‘breakthrough’ of sorts and accepting that my parents were/are ‘emotionally immature’. That’s a whole psychological thing that I’m reading an entire book on (shout out to the Redditors who suggested it) and it's been terrifyingly illuminating. My therapist has encouraged me to journal about it and talk to my inner child (which I haven’t quite figured out, yet) and also not to try and talk to my parents about it for now. I probably should have listened to her on that last point. But after Carrie’s family’s denial, I had to talk to my parents one way or another. I didn’t bring up the emotionally immature thing or the possibility that they had been emotionally neglectful of me as a child. I thought about asking the question I've seen in so many comments - why do they hate me - but I was smart enough (for once) to know that wouldn’t lead anywhere good. But I didn’t want to give them a chance to gaslight me or make excuses, so I stole an idea from some of the cheating spouses posts I’ve read and bluffed my ass off. I told them I knew they’d been the ones to report me. And yeah, they were. My mom, specifically. She didn't deny it or try to downplay it. She said that I hadn't left her any choice as “seizures don't just happen” (a line that echoed from my childhood) and my behavior at the zoo had shown I still had anger issues and since I was trying to appear like I wanted to reconcile, I couldn't take my anger out on Carrie which meant I needed a new outlet-slash-target. Her logic was that it couldn't have been a seizure and it couldn't have been an accident and I was the only adult there who could have caused it and she said that since I've already proven myself to be a liar, she had no reason to trust that my “story” was true. What had I lied about? “You cheated on your pregnant wife for months. That's lying in words and in actions.” So, my MIL didn’t make the report, but she did reach out to my mother years ago after Carrie told her that she believed I was cheating on her with Ellie (editor’s note: OOP’s best friend mentioned in a different post). But then, somehow, MIL forgot to follow up and mention the very pertinent detail that I never cheated. And so my mom sat with that knowledge for five fucking years and never said a word until she saw her chance to punish me for it in the name of protecting her grandson. That all came out on Saturday. I haven't spoken to my mom since then, ignored my father's half a dozen texts and three emails, and said about six words to Carrie. I’ve had my regularly scheduled counseling session and we have MC coming up and I’m sure this will be the main topic. I have no idea where to go from here or how to even begin to wrap my head around this. I thought writing it all out might make it feel less surreal but, yeah, no that’s very much not the case. One “good” thing that’s come out of all this? I finally made an independent choice and quit my third job. I told Carrie right before I went to see my parents and she hasn’t seemed to have any issue with it, but since I’ve been avoiding her as best I can, I might not know even if she did. I miss the time when this was just about losing a job. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I maintained from your first post until now that you and your wife need to have an entire month where you have no contact with her family or yours. Not your parents not your siblings not your cousins nobody. Take a month to focus on the two of you and see what you two want together. A month will not kill your families, particularly when your mother and her mother are trying to break the two of you up. OOP: Personally, I'd like a month of no contact with anyone except my wife and kids. Period. Does anyone know of an abandoned cabin or an island with no civilization that I could rent for a month? I joke when I'm stressed. Badly. But I do. Commenter 2: OP, it is officially time to go fully no contact with your family. And to really evaluate where your marriage, your life and your happiness are going. Because whatever it is you are trying to fix here is no longer sustainable. You need to be your first priority now. OOP: Logically, I know you're right. But the thought of prioritizing myself is like speaking a foreign language to me. Commenter 3: OP I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m ADO GLAD you’re in counseling. I think it’s so helpful because often times toxic family members make you feel like you’re crazy and it’s helpful to get an outside perspective. Your family is toxic. Your in-laws are toxic. They will never see you or give you the love you deserve. As cliche as it sounds, love YOURSELF first. You can’t pour from an empty cup and the people who should be pouring love into you, just keep kicking your cup over. You’re a good person who deserves love. They don’t deserve you. OOP: "You’re a good person who deserves love" You have no idea how hard that hit me. But what hit harder is that I don't think... no... I know that I haven't heard that from anyone who actually knows me. Sometimes, strangers on the internet really are kind. Thank you. What's the title of the book? OOP: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Commenter 5: Friend, now you have a golden opportunity to regain stability for your family. Now you can get rid of your abusive parents and even stop your wife from telling her parents things or even listening to them. You should focus on strengthening your relationship with your partner and showing him that all the problems were caused by the narcissistic parents and in-laws that you both have.   Editor’s note: OOP has made several new updates Parents think I'm incompetent: October 14, 2025 (six days later from Update #4) My current relationship with my parents is a complicated mess that likely won't get better any time soon. But I've started noticing some patterns through therapy and I've come to the conclusion that my parents have always thought that I'm basically incompetent. Their overriding opinion of me is that I can't really do anything on my own and if someone (them, my wife) isn't there to "guide" me, I will fail at almost everything. Any time I don't listen to them or follow their way of doing things, there's an automatic assumption that it will all go wrong. And it seems like there's some truth to it. I didn't listen to my wife when she told me I wasn't a good fit for a job and I ended up being asked to resign. I chose to ignore my parents' advice on my choice of college and major and I ended up needing to change majors twice and transfer to a different college. My son recently had a seizure that led to a fall down the stairs and my mother's immediate and unchanging assumption was/is that, at best, I failed to keep a good enough eye on him or, at worst, I actually caused both things to happen through poor parenting. I could give you a list (I'm sure my parents have one) of other such evidence. But I can't figure out if I'm actually incompetent, if they just get in my head and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, or if I've just been trained over the years to the point where I actually believe it. Anyone else ever dealt with parents thinking that they're too incompetent to manage anything on their own?   A little light in the dark; October 16, 2025 (two days later) I'm sitting here in the dark in my daughter's nursery (not sure what age it goes from nursery to bedroom) because she's having a rough night and will only sleep with one of us in the room with her. We had to do MC tonight via video call as we've lost our primary babysitters and I'm kind of grateful for my daughter's 'insomnia' tonight as it's given me a reason to sit in the quiet and try to process. Apparently, I've ended up on TikTok and YouTube and BoRU and the wiki sub. And I'm mildly proud of myself that I haven't tried defending myself on either sub (baby steps, right?) but it's given me a lot to think about as I'm getting comments and msgs from people who are just now seeing some of posts. It's weird seeing people arguing about whether I should have just called the doctor (my very first post) or whether I'm a misogynist for not getting along with my female coworker. It feels like years since any of that was my biggest issue. But as weird as it's been to see so many comments on things that have been buried by more recent crap and as rough as MC was tonight (therapist had some choice words for Carrie and I almost felt like jumping in to defend her) and as hard as it's been ignoring every attempt my parents make at contacting us, I had a moment tonight that felt like relief and breathing again. And since I only ever share the angst and drama and catastrophe, I wanted to share something good. Carrie saw how hard I've been taking things with my mom (which, based on the Reddit Cares msgs I've gotten, came through pretty clearly in my one recent comment) and she understood that there wasn't much she could do, seeing as how tangled up in it she is. And whether we stay together or not, tonight she showed she still has some care for me. She called Ellie. She called her and she asked her to come here to see me. And so, my best friend will be here this weekend. Carrie already made us all a reservation at the same restaurant we had our wedding reception at and she's offered to either take the kids for a day so Ellie and I can hang or to make herself scarce so our son can spend some time with Aunt E and I won't feel like I need to walk on eggshells. I haven't told Ellie all of what's happened (and I'm going to get a stern talking to about that) but it's a better feeling than I would have imagined to know I'll have at least a few days with someone who is one hundred percent 'team me'. It's nice to have something to look forward to and to have some time to just sit in the dark and hold my daughter's hand and pretend I'm just a typical dad doing typical dad stuff. Just wanted to share.   Editor’s note: OOP has made two more posts after the last one, just to vent about his parents and his background Missing reasons: October 24, 2025 (eight days later) When does it stop feeling like whining?: October 29, 2025 (five days later)   Latest Update here: BoRU #4   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwra-19237 My husband's [28m] car got destroyed and now he's taking his frustrations out on me [24f] TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic abuse, physical assault Original Post Dec 19, 2020 We've been dating for 4 years, married for 11 months. Basically, a truck driver hit my husband's car and entirely destroyed it. It was a hit-and-run, so no one knows who the driver of the truck was which is ironic because almost all of our neighbours saw it happening but nobody bothered to write down the license plate number. The accident happened at around 7 am. Our whole neighbourhood started talking about it and three hours later one of them finally decided to let us know what happened. Needless to say, it was a shitty way to start the day. My husband loves his cars, especially this one. We're currently trying to figure things out with our insurance, but it's not looking good. My husband is super frustrated and angry, understandably so. Unfortunately, he's taking all of this frustration and anger out on me. He's yelling at me nonstop and forcefully pushes me out of the way when I'm standing in his way. I tried to comfort him and gently touched his arm but he slapped my hand away. I've never seen him like that and honestly, it's scaring me. I'm one of those people that immediately get emotional when someone raises their voice at them. Is there anything that I can do? How can I calm him down? ​ TL;DR: My husband's car got destroyed in a hit-and-run and now he's taking his frustrations out on me. TOP COMMENTS elleinadgem Leave and let him work out this tantrum on his own. Come back only when he agrees to treat you with respect. He HIT you. He PUSHED you. That is physical abuse. It is NOT okay. You do not have to stay and be his emotional punching bag until he feels like stopping. In a few days when he has calmed down, tell him in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate that kind of treatment and if it happens again, even once, you're gone. Personally, I wouldn't agree to return until he agrees to go to therapy ~ Diamond-TTB "He's yelling at me nonstop and forcefully pushes me out of the way when I'm standing in his way. I tried to comfort him and gently touched his arm but he slapped my hand away." It's time to pack a bag and go visit someone for a bit. If he is angry, you are not his emotional or physical punching bag. This is not normal, and you should not have to deal, endure or cope with it. It's a car, it can be replaced. He is placing the value of his car over you. That is not ok. Big red flag. ~ V3r1ty Leave him be for now. When things are calmed down you bring up his unacceptable behavior to him. Insist and don’t back down, this is therapy worthy behavior. He needs to learn to deal with his emotions like an adult, because right now you are living with a teenager lashing out. Let me guess. He is a stoic guy who carries his emotions on the inside and never discusses or allows himself to express emotions, making sure they are sealed away. And when he finally gets emotional, the floodgates open and all hell is loose. Typical manly behavior. I am saying this as a man in my thirties who had to learn the same, be in healthy contact with my emotions. OOP Thanks for the advice! Yes, you're actually spot on. Update - rareddit Jan 10, 2021 (22 days later) Just wanted to let y'all know that my dear husband will soon be my ex-husband. Most people suggested to leave for a short while to let my husband deal with his emotions on his own and to avoid me being his punching bag. I spent a full week at my mom's house and when I came back he was still mad about his car. It got to the point where he was transferring all of his anger on to me, so now there were two angry people instead of one. We kept getting into fights and discussions, but I decided that this marriage wasn't worth saving anymore when he pushed me out of his way (I wasn't purposefully standing in his way. I was preparing a meal in the kitchen) so hard that I lost my footing and hit my head against the corner of our kitchen table. I must've lost conciousness for a short amount of time because suddenly my husband was next to me and was apologizing. I'm going to be honest. It is breaking my heart to leave this man but I'm genuinely scared for my safety when I'm around him. There's plenty of fish in the sea I guess... ​ TL;DR: I'm getting a divorce. FINAL COMMENTS Trustme_ima_doctor12 Did you contact the police? This assault should be reported. I hope you are ok. I’m glad you have your parents near by for support OOP I did not, but it might really be a good idea to contact them. MysticYoYo Please do Op. You really do need to file a report and document that. Hopefully you’ll never need it but if you do, you’ll have it on record. ~ cittacitta I’m glad you’re getting out. Has he really never shown you this side of him before? OOP Now that I'm looking back at it, he has always been a person with a lot of anger inside of him. Peace was never an option, but violence was. However, that violence has never been directed at me until the incident with his car happened. To be honest, I guess I never really wanted to see and accept that side of him so I just ignored it because I was so in love with him. ~ Pinkleton I'm so sorry. A head injury where you blacked out is no joke. I hope you got checked out by a doctor. Your husband literally could have killed you. TEG_SAR He almost Million Dollar Baby’d her. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/CardiologistFar5239 who posted to r/TwoHotTakes TW: stalking, obsessive behavior Original Post May 22nd, 2025 Hi sorry this is my first time writing in and I don't know what to do so I'm just going to jump in. (I'm using a throw away because I'm sure my actual account is being watched, also fake names) So I 32 F and my husband 33 M have been arguing a lot recently over my old stalker. For some background back in college (I was 24) I dated a guy (let's call him Fred) for around 2 months. Fred was interesting to say the least, to save time he had several red flags once we started dating so I dumped him. Fred acted like he couldn't care less so I thought that was that. Few months go by and I'm starting to see Fred everywhere. I see him at the grocery store I go to, my go to nail place, my favorite restaurants, etc. I thought it was just a weird coincidence so I left it at that. A year after our break up he starts messaging me, telling me he was the happiest with me and that he misses me so much. I called BS and blocked him. Then things escalated, Fred changed numbers every time I blocked him, made new social media accounts, and I strated seeing his car everywhere. I tried getting a restraining order against Fred but since he hadn't done anything to me, they couldn't do anything. A few months later I was walking to my car at night, Fred “coincidentally” saw me walking alone and offered me a ride home. I said no, that I had my own car and kept walking. Fred proceeded to get out of his car and tried pushing me to his car. I punched him and ran to my car. I drove away and luckily he didn’t follow. I tried again to get a restraining order but it was basically his word against mine. They gave me a temporary restraining order but that’s it. I was terrified of even walking outside and deleted all my socials. Thankfully a very close friend (let’s call him Pete) stepped in to defend me. Pete ended up threatening Fred and I finally stopped hearing from Fred. I felt free and slowly got back into my normal life. Now to present day, I’m now married to my husband. I’ve graduated from college and live alone with my husband. We moved to a nearby city and bought a house together. Sadly a month ago Pete died during his sleep and I was absolutely devastated. I’ve known Pete since I was in high-school and he was my closest friend. To be honest I’m still not over his death and sometimes I can’t believe he’s gone. But guess who heard about his death? That’s right folks Fred found out and is now back. I received texts from Fred a few days after Pete died. I now see him everywhere and he's insisting we talk. I just walk away and ignore him. I’ve reported him but nothing has happened so I deleted my socials again. Friends have been telling me Fred has been asking around about me. He's asked if I moved, what am I doing lately, if I have other social media accounts, etc. I’m honestly terrified!!! I’ve moved since I finished college but somehow I see him at my gym, grocery store, park, etc. It honestly makes me believe he never stopped watching me and it’s terrifying. I’ve told my husband about everything and he says I’m overreacting or just plain ignores my concerns and changes the subject. I’ve argued that he doesn’t care and he argues back asking what do I expect him to do. He says that Fred doesn’t know where we live and that we’ll just change gyms. My husband is telling me to just change my regular routine and stop going to certain places. He says it’s no big deal and Fred is harmless. I’m like Fred tried to force me into his car!?! How is that harmless? My husband has been distant ever since this started and I feel alone. I don’t want to tell my friends in fear they will tell Fred. I can’t go to my family because I’m in no contact with them. And of course my husband couldn’t care less. I need advice, what do I do? Am I crazy? Should I just change my gym and my routine like how my husband says? Part of me just wants to move completely but another part is basically asking myself why do I have to uproot my life and change everything because of him? Can’t he just leave me alone? It’s been like 10 years already and I want to move on from this. Should I just talk to Fred hoping he'll finally leave me alone? Added comments from OP what does her husband think 1 My husband thinks I’m overreacting and says if anything happens that Fred will end up jail. And I hate when he says that because what does it even mean? Do I have to end up in a ditch for I can finally be left alone? 2 My husbands excuse is that the law will protect me and if Fred tries anything, he’ll end up in jail. It pisses me off when he says that. Do I have to end up in a ditch for I can finally be taken seriously? told to change her routine I’ve been changing up my routine hoping I won’t see him and it’s worked a bit but not entirely. I do have a protection pack and I carry a bat in my car just in case. Update 1 May 23rd, 2025 Small update and some more information about my stalker situation. I'm still new to posting on Reddit so for the first part of my post it should be on my account. My friends don’t talk to Fred and they are aware of the situation. Fred has reached out to them randomly asking about me. They have reported and blocked him as well. Now for the update, last night I decided to have a serious conversation with my husband one last time. I sat down with him and explained the whole situation again. Told him how scared I’ve been and that he needs to take this seriously. I wanted to show him how terrified I was. How small I’ve been made to feel not just by Fred but also him. How his lack of support/concern for my own safety is making me question our marriage. I asked if he’d even do anything if I was found in a ditch. He was silent the whole time while looking at the floor. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I got up to pack my things. My husband proceeded to cry. He apologized and said he’d make this right. He said he didn’t want to overreact in fear of scaring me more. But when in reality it made me feel alone. My husband has been looking into Fred (without my knowledge) and has found out where he works, lives and even Freds family contact information. He wanted to gather more information about Fred before contacting a lawyer. We’re both taking a few days off of work to get our ducks in a row. We’re getting a lawyer and gathering evidence of Fred’s harassment. We’re also currently looking for a therapist for we can both talk about this whole situation and other issues we have in our marriage. I also have some voicemails Fred has left me and I officially think he’s lost it. (I have an apple iPhone and you’re able to see voicemails from blocked numbers) Some of the messages are of him saying straight up gibberish while others or as if he’s having a conversation with me. He says things like “oh yeah babe I get off work late so tonight is a no go” or “I’m off so you can come pick it up right now… no… yeah…. I don’t know…. I can’t do this anymore…There’s a lot of fashion in my life.” It sounds like he’s having a conversation but it’s no one else just him and it’s terrifying. My husband does feel bad and is trying his best to console me. He has apologized repeatedly for making me feel lonely and has been more supportive/open. Currently he’s looking through my car to check if there’s anything that might be giving my location to Fred. I’ll keep you all updated if we find anything or if anything else happens. Thank you all for your advice and support. I've posted another update I think you can find it on my posts Update 2 June 6th, 2025 Wasn’t sure if I should make an update but decided to anyways to maybe get some more advice. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement. I finished listening to the book “The Gift of Fear” and it really opened my eyes to a lot. Now onto the update: After my husband didn’t find anything in my car, I still felt something wrong so I took people’s advice and took my car to the mechanic. Told my mechanic about my situation and if he could take a look at my car. And to my horror, a couple days later, my mechanic found a small little cube that was placed hidden under my car. At first I really wanted to believe it was just part of my car or something. But my mechanic explained that it wasn’t and it was deliberately hidden. The cube is really small and magnetic. I called my lawyer right then and told them everything. I got pictures of the gps and where it was placed. I thanked the mechanic and drove to my lawyers office. At this point I was shaking and wanted to cry. How long had the gps been there? How long has Fred been following me without me knowing? Was he watching me at that moment? Is he going to add another one? I called my husband to meet me at the lawyers office and told him everything. At the office I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to run away and not look back. I was terrified and I felt so violated. Knowing I was being watched for who knows how long. With everything we had gathered, my lawyer was able to get a temporary restraining that same day. We are currently going through the process of getting a restraining order where I will have to go to court and see Fred again. My lawyer says the process can be long and draining but it’s something I do need to get for my own safety. I got a bit scared and had my husband’s car also checked for anything. Thankfully nothing was found in his car. I started feeling watched at home so I had my whole house turned upside down looking for anything maybe Fred had placed. Again thankfully nothing was found. I’ve told neighbors about what we found and to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious. I’ve also started my safety training for handling a gun and shooting. And still trying to get my ccw but it can be a long process. Thank you again for everyone who has given me advice and I’ll keep you updated if creepy Fred tries anything. Added Comments commenter Air tags can be very small! If you have the means, take your car to a mechanic and tell him you have a stalker. They can check up on the wheel wells of the car and the like. Check your purse too just in case. I think there's an app you can download that will scan for low frequency devices like trackers tend to be. I'm glad your husband apologized and is finally taking this seriously!!! OP My car is currently at the mechanics getting checked out thank you so much for this advice I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Popcornshrimp111 I 28F think a nap ruined my marriage to 30M TWs: Postpartum Depression, Emotional Neglect, Abuse (Verbal/Emotional), Gaslighting BoRU Suggested by u/Direct-Caterpillar77 OOP Posted to r/relationship_advice Original Post April 5, 2025 I 28F am married to 30M. I’ll probably delete this is the morning but I need to scream into the void. I’ve been married for under a year but with my husband for 6. We have a 3 month old little girl who’s fantastic. I’m a first time mom who’s a SAHM. My husband WFH. My husband’s not dumb just emotionally inept sometimes. I’ve had a lot of resentment building since I was pregnant. His mom tormented me through my pregnancy by talking about miscarriages, still births, and saying ‘dead baby’ to me every time my husband wasn’t around. She denied, he sympathized with me, but nothing was truly ever done. Since I gave birth my husband’s just been clueless. When I was there recovering he would go home and sleep and leave me all alone because the couch was uncomfortable. I had to call him 20 times to get him to wake up and come back to the hospital because I was lonely. Then when we left he was asking me to carry things to the car with him. The nurse had to tell him I shouldn’t carrying anything, I’d just given birth. When we got home he complained about his lack of sleep. I was struggling learning how to nurse. He was my cheerleader through nursing, I have to give him credit there. As the first two months went by I was consistently bawling about how sleep deprived I was while he was getting 8-10 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. It caused a lot of fights because I couldn’t hear him tell me he was ‘exhausted’ without having a meltdown. Then his mom would come over and they’d leave a huge mess for me to clean on more than one occasion. He complained about the basement being messy so I helped him lift things and clean it up. It caused me to start bleeding heavily and my doctor told me I shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy. This is a point of contention because my husband continuously asked me to help him lift heavy things and I couldn’t; so he’d get annoyed. Then he’d complain about it all day. Now we’re at month 3 and I think my marriage is over. We’ve been distant ever since baby arrived and I haven’t wanted to have sex or be affectionate. Husband has been asking if I’m alright a lot and I say I’m fine. I don’t know what else to say. But I feel miserable and tense up every time he walks in the same room as me. Today he was on my case about walking our dog. I’m so exhausted from exclusively breast feeding and I don’t have the energy to walk her. I had been up since 2:30am with my baby and just couldn’t handle anything else on my plate. So he whined and moaned about doing it but promised me I could nap. I snapped and reminded him that I haven’t slept a full 8 hours in months. He got pissy and stormed off. He avoided me the entire day and locked himself in his office. I spent the rest of the day randomly breaking down in full blown sobs because I was so tired. 11pm hits and he hasn’t come out of his office so I finally break and go get him. He gives me the cold shoulder and I just break down. All the lack of support just broke me. I told him I hated him, I wish I could go home, and I even mentioned divorce. He calmed me down and apologized for being selfish. When I asked what he did all day he said he napped. He napped the whole day. While I was struggling to keep myself standing he was napping. I broke down. I cried and cried. He was apologetic and showering me in sorry’s and I love you’s. For the first time ever I couldn’t tell him I loved him too. Now it’s 2am and I can’t sleep because I’m so distraught. He’s snoring next to me and I just hate him right now. I want to take my baby and run away. I don’t want to live here anymore. Being a single mom seems easier than dealing with all this emotional stress and neglect. What am I suppose to do? I just can’t believe I’m ready to leave him all because he took a nap. RELEVANT COMMENTS Throwaway4privacy77 His sorry and love words mean absolutely nothing. Do you have family that you and your child can go to? OOP I moved to his home state on the other side of the country away from my family. ~ No_Limit_2589 Wow I'm so sorry. But a nap didn't ruin your marriage. He did by being a shit father and husband. I think you would be better off being divorced from him. He needs to learn to stand on his own 2 feet and take care of his own child that he also created. Was he always like this? Or was it a bait and switch? OOP No he’s always been responsible and dependable. Picture perfect man to settle down and have a baby with. Idk what happened but I got pregnant and he changed into someone I don’t recognize. OOP further adds He completely shut down when his paternity leave ended. It felt like living with a ghost sometimes, he was physically present but not there emotionally. I was and am struggling to keep myself together so I have no support to give him. I know this transition has been hard on him but it’s hard on me too. I’ve wanted to lean on him but most times he’s stressed about something else needing to be done and asking me to help with it. Hence why his mom would come over, she’d be helping him with his day to day tasks but make my life harder. A lot of this is due to our poor communication the past three months and I think we resent each other for that. Update 1 (same post) I fixed the FTM - it means first time mom not female to male. So we talked. Well, I talked he listened. I told him I couldn’t do this anymore and something needed to change immediately or I was going to go back home and take my baby with me. He stared at me confused but then he realized I had two bags packed by my dresser and ready to leave. I finally was able to articulate all the resentment that had been building. His mom’s cruel and careless behavior, feeling abandoned at the hospital and now at home, how it feels that everything falls on to me so he can bring a paycheck home. I realized after saying all this I hadn’t really told him how I was feeling but just continued to bottle it up. He was defensive at first and I gave him one warning that if this conversation was filled with excuses, I’m walking out. So he stopped and truly listened. He was genuinely remorseful. He only said sorry once at the end, and he meant it. Then he started asking me what I needed him to do. We made a plan and I finally feel like I can breathe a little easier. He has dog walks handled indefinitely. MIL is banned from the house and to have no contact with me or my baby. Once husband’s off work I’m off duty for the day. I’ll still breast feed because I want to do that. I get a lot of fulfillment out of it and if you saw the way my baby pats my boob when she nurses you would too. Her big hazel eyes are like a drug. I’m typing this while soaking in a warm bath. I’ve been promised the weekend to decompress and sleep until my hearts content. I’ll pump instead of nurse this weekend and we have a stash of frozen milk he is planning on using. He knows what needs to be done, her routine, how much to feed her, so I know he’s capable. I can actually hear him unloading the dishwasher right now. We are planning on doing something as a couple one day out of each weekend so I don’t feel like just a mom. I can be a person too. We are going to go to couples counseling and I’m going to start individual therapy. (He’s already in therapy) He didn’t have a dad who showed him what love looked like. He had an adult toddler as a father who threw tantrums and verbally abused him and his mother. My husband often comments on how my dad drops everything in a nano second for me and how he wants to be like that. But he’s not. He’s failing me and his daughter. That was really tough for him to hear. So, now we take it day by day. If he’s actually capable of change, I’ll have to wait and see. My bags are still packed and by the door. I guess I have them there as a reminder to myself that leaving is an option at any moment I please. That makes me feel a little better. I’m hopeful but not delusional. I know we might not be able to come back from this, and that’s okay. I have to take care of myself so my little girl has a mama who smiles at things besides her. I have an appointment scheduled for a PPD screening and my mom’s planning on visiting the start of next month. My family is ready with their door wide open when I choose to come home. Made me cry to hear my dad tell me he’ll be on the first flight when I’m ready so I don’t have to fly home alone. Thank you all for letting me spill my guts. Update 2 June 4, 2025 (2 months later) Update: I 28F think a nap ruined my mairrage to 30M I have been wanting to update but have been scared… I’ve felt so overwhelmed and haven’t been sure what to write. That post I wrote, was me at my lowest. I wish I could take the version of me in time and just hug her. I was broken down and I needed anyone to be real with me. Those comment felt like a slap in the face and way too much to handle all at once. So I needed time to read through and digest it all. Thank you everyone. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety shortly after I made my post. To the people who pushed me to talk to my doctor, thank you. My life has improved ten fold after getting proper treatment. I feel like in normal updates people dive into their lives and the details of what’s happened. I don’t want to do that. I want to say something that’s more important than me and my life. To the new moms and their loved ones: If you or anyone you know has just had a baby, check in on them. If you’ve just had a baby, make sure you have someone who’s tuned in to you. Although you have brought new life into the world and it should be joyous - you are allowed to feel whatever you feel. Please, even if you feel fine, prioritize your mental health and well being, because your baby depends on you to be healthy so they can be healthy. What you are going through is valid and important and you need someone to look out for you. While you look out for baby someone needs to look out for you with the SAME love and care. As for me - my life has turned around. Taking care of myself was the what I needed. I know people told me to leave my husband and how horrible he is… and like every other excuse post - you don’t understand because you’re not living it. I’m happy, safe, and healthy; but most importantly my daughter is thriving. It took a lot of work and it will continue to take a lot more. I love my husband and he has shown through time that he can be reliable and hasn’t faltered. I really thought he would fail and was expecting it most days. But he hasn’t, he actually turned it around and that feels better than winning the lottery. I guess people can change when they really want to. Can’t they? I could go on and on but things are better. My daughter’s happy and healthy. She’s feisty like me and nothings gonna stop her. She loves her daddy as much as I do (sometimes more.) and now with a clear head I can see that things are okay because we have, and continue to learn how to communicate with one another. If I could pass anything on - check on your loved ones. Sometimes they don’t even know how hard they’re struggling until you pull the wool from over their eyes. Thank you to everyone. Posting was the push I needed to get help. RELEVANT COMMENTS MediumSizedMaze Did he ever apologize for making you move heavy things that caused you to start bleeding? OOP Yes he has. He continues to and has acknowledge how his selfishness came at my expense in the most vulnerable time in my life. It’s shame that follows him and he asks randomly if I really do forgive him. It’s uncomfortable to see how awful he feels about what happened because all I want to say is ‘it’s okay!’ But we both know it’s not and never will be. So it’s icky knowing he’s gonna live with that but I also know it’s for the best. pimpampoumz I’m glad he realized it and is taking accountability for it. I’m curious, though, if he has ever explained wtf was going through his head during those moments? OOP He has. It’s nothing special, pretty lack luster explanations. Typical ‘because I haven’t felt it, it must mean it’s not that bad’ Infuriating bullshit, and willful ignorance. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/EyeGlad3032 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I know the title sounds bad but hear me out. I (32F) have 5 children. The age range is 12-5yo. I work 2 jobs, 1 full-time and the other part-time. I do get a lot of help from family members with the children so that's always amazing. With all my children, I have been talking to them about their body, what consent is, and what is appropriate and inappropriate touches/secrets. So, when the oldest turned 9, I shifted the conversation with her to the way her body would start changing, the things she'd experience, etc. When she was 10, she started complaining about cramps and pains in her stomach, so we talked about her cycle, what to expect and I helped her pack a feminine care bag with pads, wipes, new panties, a baggy for the old panties, and panty liners, that she could carry with her while she was on her cycle. She didn't start until early this year just before her 12th birthday. During this time, I went out and bought at least 12 months worth of care products for her because the kind she likes is not always in stock. I kept them inside my closet, but showed her where they were when she needed them. I also gave her a box to keep in her room so she wouldn't have to go back and forth everyday. A box usually lasts 2 cycles, so 2 months. It's been about 3 and a half months since then, and she came to me saying she needs more products because she's running low. Thinking she meant the second box I gave her to keep in her room, I went inside my closet to grab another box for her. To my SHOCK, she only had 2 boxes left. I'm sorry what? I asked her what happen to all of her products. Low and behold, this child has become the pad dealing fairy at school. She is a popular kid, so a lot of kids talk to or want to be around her. Some of her friends have also started their cycles around the same time she did. Because of this, she's been passing all her products out to them since then. I told her there's nothing wrong with helping your friends when they are in a rough spot, but she doesn't need to be giving all her products away or taking her products with her when she doesn't need them. About a week after that, she came to me saying she needed more wipes because she was out. I know that was impossible because 2 days prior I bought her a box of wipes. I told her as much, and she said, "Well, my friend needed some wipes because she asked me for some." I said, "So you gave her a full box of wipes?" She said, "Well, she needed them." I explained to her AGAIN, not to hand out all of her products to her friends. I said a bunch of things, but ended saying, "if she needs A WIPE, give her 1 for now and maybe 1 for later, the same with the pads. It is NOT acceptable to give her a full box, because now, what are YOU going to use?" She said, "you can just buy me some more." I feel I need to say, we are not struggling financially, but for me to continue to buy that many extra products, WOULD put us in a bind eventually overtime as they are not cheap. Anyway, at that point in the conversation I did become frustrated and raised my voice to her. I said, I am not their parent, I'm yours. It is NOT my job to make sure they have feminine products, underwear or anything else. If your friends are on their cycle, I'm SURE their parents know and their parents can do their job and buy their child what they need. YOU and you ONLY are my responsibility. I will NOT keep buying extra products for you to just give them all away like money is easy to come by. I work hard to make sure you have what you need and I will continue to do that because again, you are my child. I will do what I have to do to make sure you have what you need. I will not have this conversation with you again. Stop giving out all your products. If your friend needs 1 because they forgot, GIVE THEM 1 and 1 only. You can even let them use your phone to call their parent and tell them to bring some to the school, but that's all the help you should be giving. She didn't say much after that, but she looked deflated and it made me feel terrible. Later that night, I acknowledged her giving heart and how that was a beautiful quality I loved in her and how much I was so proud of her for trying to help others. I also told her helping others should NOT put her in a situation where she's going without, and that's exactly what's happening. It's okay to give, but not so much she doesn't have anything for herself. We hugged and she went to bed. It's been a few days and I'm still thinking about it. Was I too harsh on her? Should I buy 1 box specifically for her to give out, but tell her that after that box is gone she has to wait 4 months before I buy another for her to pass out? How should I approach or readdress the situation?Should I just leave it where it is? AITA? submitted by /u/EasyOceans9661 to r/ComfortLevelPod [link] [comments]

Two facts about me that are important to this story: (1) I was raised by an alcoholic and (2) I don’t drink alcohol. Last week, my boss asked me to pick up alcohol for a department party. I told her that I might be the wrong person to ask since I don’t drink and hence don’t know what people typically like or how much to get. She told me to just “get whatever, it’ll be fine” and she gave me the corporate credit card. So, I tried to think back to my childhood because I don’t drink, I never hung out at bars in college and the only measure I had regarding how much people drink was based on my Dad. I remembered that it was usually by beer no. 6 that Dad turned into a pretty cheerful guy, (this was so prevalent in my life that my brother and I called it the “six beer smile”). Note, my Dad would not always stop at 6. He would sometimes drink 10 or more a day, so I thought, “Well, Dad drank a lot so I think we’ll be fine with 5 bottles of beer per person since that’s just one shy of a smile”. I called my older brother to double check if 5 beers per person would be a sufficient amount of alcohol for a work party and he agreed, “Yeah, that sounds about right”. The department has 40 people so… I ended up picking up about 34 six packs. I got a variety because why not and yeah, it cost a lot but this company wastes money on plenty of other things so I just assumed this was just the cost of A Party With Alcohol. I loaded up my car (it took a long time) drove to work and then carried everything to the large conference room that was reserved for the party. The party was yesterday evening. I really only stuck around for a little bit, made appearances to wave hi and say something to the higher ups so they knew I attended and then I ducked out and went home early. I woke up to some texts from my boss today consisting mostly of: “How much did you buy?” “The party is drowning.” And finally, “There’s more in the cabinets??” And yeah, when I initially dropped everything off, I ran out of space on the counter so I put the rest in the cabinets… I asked a few friends why my boss was freaking out. They started laughing and reminded me that my Dad is an alcoholic and I probably should have gotten just 2 drinks per person, because that’s way more normal for a work party. TL;DR I bought 5 beers per person for a work party and I can only imagine what the result was, but even though I F’ed Up, let’s be real… my boss F’ed Up more by asking the non-drinker to buy the alcohol. —Update!— 2/24/2025 Thanks everyone for your comments! I especially appreciate those of you who reassured me that it really wasn’t that bad and those of you who gave me advice for the future. I got a little overwhelmed by the number of responses so I’m sorry if I didn’t respond to your comment but I appreciate all of them! A few clarifications: I live in the US and the area I’m in is a little on the conservative/religious side of things. Folks around here drink, obviously, but getting drunk around co-workers for example is frowned upon. This is, I have learned, very different depending on where you live in the world. The definition of alcoholic is also very different from person to person. My father was (and is) a sad, angry man and, in my second hand experience, alcohol was a very unstable way for him to self medicate for his anger and grief. For those of you who were distressed that my co-workers drank “warm counter beer”, someone put the drinks on the counter in a cooler between when I dropped them off and when the party started. Again, I try to leave work parties as soon as I can. I prefer to hang with my friends or my brother when I have free time. It turns out “party” was, a misnomer from my boss and as someone suggested in the comments, it was more of an after work “social gathering” where the intention was that people could drop in and out or stay for a while. Anyways, I was the first one in the office. My boss (let’s call her Cathy) came in a little fired up though so, thank you redditors who gave me some good responses to her. First, Cathy asked why I didn’t respond to her texts and I told her that I don’t check work texts on the weekend. Then she asked what I was thinking “getting so much expensive alcohol” and I said, as many suggested, “I told you I don’t drink and didn’t know how much to get, so I wanted to make sure there was enough and that there was a good variety available.” I held out the corporate card for her to take back and she took it and went off to her office and shut the door. A few folks stopped by my cubicle to tell me the party was fun and I should have stuck around. Word clearly got around that this was my doing because one guy told me I should always be the one who brings the drinks. Cathy’s door stayed shut all morning. I started getting a little anxious because, cost aside, it just sounded like everyone had a good time, so I figured f-it, and I went to my boss’ boss (let’s call him Brian) to see if everything was okay. According to Brian, everyone thought the random assortment of beer was pretty great. After I left the party (which was as soon as possible) that was when they figured out that there was a bunch of different stuff in the cooler. One person started digging till they found something they liked, which encouraged more people to do the same. Brian said it was funny when someone opened the cabinets and yelled out “there’s more!” which I admit, is kind of funny. I told Brian that Cathy seemed really upset about the whole thing. According to Brian, Cathy was pretty upset on Friday, and kept apologizing about how much I over spent. I told him that I didn’t even know there was a budget and he laughed at that. I found out then that the budget was around $100 for drinks. I spent around $440. I gave Brian the same short explanation I gave Cathy, (“I don’t drink and wasn’t sure what or how much to get.”) I asked Brian if he wanted me to return any unopened six packs and Brian told me not to worry about it, and said that he’d talk to Cathy. On a different but still related note: Some of you said my brother’s response to me was hilarious, and some of you said it was concerning and I honestly agreed either way. I called my brother when I got home from work and we had a really good talk. It turns out he didn’t think my question was serious and his answer was sarcastic so when I told him the whole story, he thought the situation was pretty amusing. We also had a talk about the impact of Dad’s drinking on both of us. I’m not going to go into a ton of detail but he reassured me that nowadays he only drinks with friends and even then, not very often. I made sure he knows that if he ever needs to talk, I’m here for him. Update TL;DR: My co-workers had a good time. My boss panicked about going over budget but her boss thought the excess was funny and told me not to worry about it. Most importantly, my brother is okay and not following in our father’s footsteps. submitted by /u/GremlinGoop to r/tifu [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Palpitation9001 My (21F) boyfriend (22M) gets so jealous over his brother's (26M) girlfriend (28F) that he cries until he vomits. Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: obsessive behavior, racism, emotional infidelity Original Post - rareddit Sept 30, 2020 My boyfriend (Jake) and I are high school sweethearts and share an apartment with his brother, Finn. Finn has been seeing a woman named Bonnie for the past three months. They met over Tinder and with certain restrictions lifting, wer'e finally getting to spend time with her IRL. She's a really great person and she and Finn are stupidly into each other. Like, accidentally finishing each other's sentences in love, staring at each other with big gooey eyes in love. Its kinda gross but kinda sweet. A couple of days ago I noticed that Jake's been acting weird. He's been a lot quieter and a bit colder to me, going to bed early, getting up late. I tried to kiss him and he turned away. Yesterday when Finn was out, I asked what was up with him. He started off kinda hostile but when I said that I was really feeling hurt, he blew up. Summarized, he told me that he was rethinking our entire relationship after listening to his brother talk about Bonnie. He said that Bonnie asked for Finn's preference when she cut her hair and didn't get bangs when he said he thought they looked stupid when I got a pixie without asking Jake what he'd think first. He said that Bonnie gave Finn a blow job every night before bed and one every morning when he woke up, when I don't really like oral (giving or receiving). He said I never offer to give him massages or pack his lunch. For clarification, I do things for him all the time, but we've NEVER been lovey dovey: we don't even celebrate valentines day (his suggestion) We both always agreed it was stupid and unrealistic. In fact, we always used to make fun of people for being sappy and definitely gave Finn hell for a bit over being so gooey. He was crying by the end of it, saying that he felt sick over missing out on someone who would love him that much. I said I loved him, but he didn't wanna hear it. He started gagging and threw up a little bit because he was crying so hard. I didn't know what else to do so I got him some water and went to bed. I went to work early and I've been hanging out at a coffee shop but I have to go home soon. I have no idea where to go from here or what to say to him. I don't even know if were still together. Help? Just. With all of this shit. TOP COMMENTS Drincourt In a million years, I would never be able to look at my partner again if they said something like this to me. I’d be out the door for good. jessie_monster And then started crying so much they threw up? No thank you. That kind of entitlement and immaturity is a boner-killer. outdatedopinion He sounds like a grown-up version of Eric from Southpark Update Oct 3, 2020 (3 days later) Sorry I didn't respond to anyone's comments I went home after posting and by the time I logged back on to reddit the post had been locked. A few of you asked for the update so here it is. I'm single. I came home and Jake was gone. Finn was there and asked if I could sit down for a bit. He wouldn't give me the exactly details but said that he and Jake had 'talked' while I was out. He also showed me a few text messages to prove it. Apparently, Finn had never shared any details with his brother, but Jake had been able to hear them moan through the walls when Bonnie stayed over. It wasn't a bro talk or anything after all. Just the man I thought was gonna marry listening to his brother have sex through the walls. Neat. When Finn got home from work, Jake tried joking about it and made comments about Bonnie's race. Finn kicked him out and now Jake is gonna be staying with their parents so I have to pay his share of the rent too because Finn refuses to let him in and Jake refuses to come back. Double neat. A few people had questions so here we go: Did Jake ever mention wanting romantic gestures? No. We actually got together because we were the only goths in school. We bonded over being against lovey dovey stuff like that. We grew out of the edgy phase but yeah. He always was firm he hated valentines day and women who needed roses or gifts to feel loved. Has he ever done anything like this before? Now that I think about it, yeah. He's thrown tantrums before but never like this. Things like carry out orders forgetting his side dishes or stores running out of his favorite items always made him really emotional. Why don't you like oral: bad incident involving Jake's braces left me with some scarring down there. He liked deepthroating. 0/10 I feel sorry for Bonnie: I don't want to know any more details about their relationship but they seem happy. They work at the same high intensity job (think physical trainers or OT) so she packs meal prepped bento boxes for him and herself. Finn buys her flowers, fixes her car, goes over when spiders get into her apartment. Like I said, they're cute. This is fake: listen man thats your right to believe it. Even i think its fake and im the one that has to figure out how to ship 200 funko pops to my ex. So there you go. TOP COMMENTS mythsarecrazystories "im the one that has to figure out how to ship 200 funko pops to my ex." Nope, his brother can figure that shit out. That dude is no longer your responsibility. You also don't have to pay double rent. Jake can pay rent for a place he doesn't live in. You need to find a new place to live. So you don't have to be surrounded by a reminder of your past relationship. ~ Exterminatus4Lyfe "He had 200 funko pops" It was doomed from the start. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Every year I try to go to the movies as much as possible. It’s my main hobby. I keep track of my thoughts/scores throughout the year, along with all of my ticket stubs. In theaters, I saw: 5 movies in 2015, 9 movies in 2016, 146 movies in 2017, 162 movies in 2018, 192 movies in 2019, 44 movies in 2020, 86 movies in 2021, 270 movies in 2022, 325 movies in 2023, and 298 movies this year. This doesn’t include rewatches, but those are pretty rare for me (7 this year). This is my 7th year doing this ranking on /r/movies. I have a subscription with AMC’s A-List, Regal’s Unlimited, and Cinemark’s MovieClub. I’m also a member of the Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and Toronto film societies. I attended 8 film festivals this year, for a total of 117 films. I attended 24 World Premieres, 11 North American Premieres, 7 US Premieres, 10 East Coast Premieres, 22 Southeast Premieres, 4 Canadian Premieres, and a few Florida/Georgia Premieres. 96 of my screenings had cast and/or crew present for Q&As/intros. I do these rankings and reviews/random thoughts for fun. It’s not meant to be taken super seriously. I just like movies, and I like ranking them. Red Rooms - 10/10 - The most gripping psychological-thriller since The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Extremely disturbing and unsettling at times, but also stylish and sleek. The courtroom scenes and vampire-movie-like score stick with you for a long time. Juliette Gariépy puts in the best performance of anyone this year. There's so much amazing stuff happening with French-Canadian cinema recently and this is another great addition. Best movie of the year. One of the best movies of the past decade. Dune: Part Two - 9/10 - Sci-fi doesn't get much better than this. I have the seemingly-unpopular opinion that the first movie is better than the second, but both are near-perfect. Everything that can be said about Dune 1/2 has pretty much already been said. Anora - 9/10 Civil War - 9/10 Nosferatu - 9/10 - Gothic horror is so back. Lily-Rose Depp does things in this movie physically that I've never seen before on the big screen. Extremely impressed with her performance (and with Hoult/Dafoe/Skarsgard/Corrin as well). A great ensemble surrounded with perfect set design, direction, and cinematography. Loved the scenes in the castle that almost appeared black-and-white. Robert Eggers has not missed for me so far, and this is my favorite of his. Challengers - 9/10 Sing Sing - 9/10 - Colman Domingo, give that man his Oscar [John Malkovich Rounders voice]. The Substance - 9/10 You Are Not Alone - 9/10 - Part La La Land, part Under the Skin, part Eternal Sunshine. A beautiful and hypnotic sci fi love story with a slight horror edge and with layers upon layers of metaphor. It has a lot of interesting things to say about mid-20s loneliness/thoughts of suicide/love/etc. Didi - 9/10 - I'm a sucker for coming-of-age dramas set in recent times. Give me more of this and mid90s-type movies pls. The Order - 8/10 We Live In Time - 8/10 - I went in expecting heartbreak (which I got), but I didn’t expect how funny/sharp it would be. Florence and Andrew have 10/10 chemistry. Only thing keeping it from a higher score is the goofy Super Bowl of Food or whatever scene near the end. The scene at the beginning in the parking garage might be one of the most heart wrenching and well-acted scenes of the entire year. Top-tier score as well. Love Lies Bleeding - 8/10 - I would watch a 2-hour movie montage of Katy O'Brian working out beneath a highway underpass. A violent & twisted mess of sweat/blood/sex/tears/ungodly bodily noises. A real wicked fun time. The Goldman Case - 8/10 - French courtroom dramas, so hot right now. An insanely smart and water-tight screenplay with engrossing performances. It reminded me a lot of Anatomy of a Fall then I realized the co-star (Arthur Harari) in this film is the co-writer of Anatomy. The Beast - 8/10 - A movie that's almost impossible to describe but I'll try: Dystopian-future-sci-fi, period-drama, modern-incel-breakin-thriller, all while staying completely original and beautiful. Extremely layered story and performances. Lea Seydoux and George MacKay are 2 of my favorite actors and they pulled this off with extreme precision and care. One of more harrowing final scenes of the year for sure. Conclave - 8/10 Saturday Night - 8/10 - Frenetic, engaging, and a really fun time. Flies by. I wanted more. So much energy. September 5 - 8/10 The Brutalist - 8/10 - I have some problems with the ending, feels like it undid a lot of what was experienced, but otherwise an impressive monster of a movie. Brody and Pearce are outstanding. Io Capitano - 8/10 Fremont - 8/10 - I love movies that flow like light poems, like Petite Maman or Journey to A Mother's Room. It was a very sweet and cozy. The psychiatry sessions in particular were hilarious, and the bit where the diners are reading their fortunes in the restaurants were perfect. One of my favorite lines of the year is when the old lady fortune cookie writer dies at her desk, and the boss says “she was getting too old to write about the future anyway”. The lead and Jeremy Allen White were only onscreen together but their chemistry was infectious Seagrass - 8/10 LaRoy, Texas - 8/10 - A hilariously-dark Coen Brothers throwback with wonderful performances from Steve Zahn and John Magaro (who I was lucky enough to meet prior to the screening). It's bloody and smart, and that's a rare combination. A Quiet Place: Day One - 8/10 The Last Showgirl - 8/10 - Apart from a few awkward line-deliveries and questionable dialogue in spots, this was a very lowkey, engaging drama with a career-best performances from Pamela Anderson and Dave Bautista. Very dreamy and light. Friendship - 8/10 - It's so fucking stupid. Absolutely no plot to speak of. There's no character development. It's barely even a movie. It's basically a 90-minute sketch. All that being said, it's so goddamn hilarious. Non-stop laughs. Most I've laughed since Red Rocket probably. It's a can't-miss for any Tim Robinson fan and a can't-miss for any fans of laughing. Kate Mara was the perfect foil character. The Wild Robot - 8/10 - Yes, I cried, what of it? Relay - 8/10 - A very solid, tight, throwback to the type of paranoid corporate-thrillers they don’t really make anymore. A super fun twist that I didn’t see coming at all, and a standout turn from Lily James. It slightly loses its way near the end. Good One - 8/10 - Familiar and lowkey, but with a dark edge that slowly reveals itself, and a superb breakout role from Lily Collias. Great debut film from director India Donaldson. A Complete Unknown - 8/10 - There's definitely a lack of plot but at the end of the day we all just want to see Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits performed by a generational talent in Timothee Chalamet and it definitely delivers in that aspect. Midwives - 8/10 - One of the more stressful movies I’ve seen in a while. My anxiety was through the roof, especially in the first half. It’s so realistic and graphic at times (and some of it has to be real, some birth scenes especially) that you almost get a sense that it’s a documentary. Totally nails the landing too, making you feel real anger/empathy about how Midwives are treated in France (and other places I assume). Hellbent On Boogie - 8/10 Alien: Romulus - 8/10 - Put Cailee Spaeny in anything and I'll watch it. Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - 8/10 The Old Oak - 8/10 - British realism cinema at it's finest. Just another classic added to Ken Loach's resume. Longlegs - 8/10 Babygirl - 8/10 One Life - 8/10 - I'm not a huge movie-cryer but I was absolutely balling my eyes out near the "moment". You know it's coming and it's still hit. Impressive when a movie can do that. Last movie that hit me like that was probably Tori and Lokita, and before that Moonlight. This was up there in terms of tears. Did not really expect it going in. Devasting. Anthony Hopkins kills these types of roles, he has a way of showing bottled up regret/sadness that not many others can. The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare - 8/10 - Over-the-top violent fun time. Totally ridiculous but it doesn't take itself seriously and that's what keeps it from veering into. Also, Eiza Gonzalez. That is all. Strange Darling - 8/10 Los Frikis - 8/10 Suncoast - 8/10 Drive-Away Dolls - 8/10 - I want more unapologetically horny movies like this. Loved all of Beanie Feldstein's bits and the slow, sleep-deprived descent into madness of the henchmen especially. Not too sure abou the weird-cheap transitions and trippy scenes though. "You're a day late and a penis short" and "Suki that's your wall dildo!" are two of the funniest lines of the year, within context. Give me more fast-paced 75-minute movies. In A Violent Nature - 8/10 -This made me feel physically nauseous several times, would strongly recommend. Some of the gnarliest kills I've ever seen on the big screen. A Real Pain - 8/10 Abigail- 8/10 - As a French-Canadian, big shoutout to Kevin Durand for his on-point Quebecois accent. Also, "Sammy, those are fucking onions" was one of the best/funniest line deliveries of the year. Really entertaining gory vampire flick. Dan Stevens is straight up having a fun time this year and I'm enjoying it every time. Melissa Barrera is now competing with with Mia Goth and Samara Weaving as top Scream Queens. Deadpool & Wolverine - 8/10 Bring Them Down - 8/10 - I love me a slow-burn family feud drama that slowly snowballs into something dark and sinister. Christopher Abbott is one of my favorite working actors today and he does incredible work here, especially with the accent/Irish/body language. Disclaimer: Not recommended to people sensitive to animal violence/cruelty. There's a lot of that. The Piano Lesson - 8/10 - As far as Denzel Washington-produced, August Wilson adaptations are concerned, this is way above Fences. Felt less like a straight-up filmed play. The supernatural element and amazing Danielle Deadwyler performance (give her an Oscar soon pls) make this more layered and interesting. Bonus: I was sitting with/near the cast/crew for this one, 5-10 feet away from Denzel/Danielle/John David/Malcolm/Corey Hawkins/Ray Fisher/Michael Potts. Amazing experience. Nickel Boys - 8/10 Fresh Kills - 8/10 - A really solid mob-drama told from the perspective of a mob boss' daughter, which I appreciated. It's rare you see this story from that angle. Emily Bader's scene with her dad near the end. Holy. Fucking. Shit. Between The Temples - 8/10 - Carol Kane was absolutely magnetic and a joy to watch in this, and Jason Schwartzman was her perfect endearing counter. Lovely movie, that makes you want to curl up into a ball and cringe to death near to end, in a good way. The most painful-to-watch family reunion/dinner since Shiva Baby. Problemista - 8/10 - I stand with Bank of America. Julio Torres is kind of a revelation in this. His facial expressions (and hilarious run-walk thing) are perfect. Absurd, funny, and sweet comedy with so much flair and uniqueness. Some fun little details that got good laughs out of me, like Tilda's character always having her phone light on. Chaotic in all of the right ways. Sisterhood - 8/10 Days of Happiness - 8/10 The Apprentice - 8/10 - It's not breaking any new ground but Sebastian Stan is a pleasure to watch transform into Trump as the movie goes on. Grimy and gross like the streets of New York in the 80s. Wil - 8/10 Naked Ambition: Bunny Yeager - 8/10 Soul - 8/10 - I didn't get to catch this during it's original run due to COVID so I'm glad it came back. My favorite Pixar movie in a little while. Femme - 8/10 I Saw the TV Glow - 8/10 Heretic - 7/10 - A fun horror with sharp dialogue and an incredibly-hammy Hugh Grant performance. Emilia Perez - 7/10 - Some amazing musical numbers, especially the opener and "El Mal", and Zoe Saldana has an amazing performance where she carries the entire thing (Gomez and Gascon are getting lots of praise but I didn’t see it), but it just felt like it never fully came together to reach full potential. Mountains - 7/10 - A very small and warm movie about the very big and cold issue of gentrification and the real estate crisis in South Florida. Monica Sorelle is a director to watch for sure. Skywalkers: A Love Story - 7/10 - Other than a few moments that seemed a bit scripted (mostly the relationship drama), this is the most thriller documentary since Free Solo. Ghostlight - 7/10 Shoshana - 7/10 - Israeli true-life spy-thriller, a bit Bond-like. There's a few kills in here that are insanely brutal and the explosions/gunshots catch you by surprise. It had me jump a few times. The Dead Don't Hurt - 7/10- Extremely slow, don't go in expecting an action-packed Western, but Viggo has a really good eye for beautiful backgrounds and settings. Vicky Krieps is top-tier as always. This movie doesn't work without her. I like slow Westerns. The Fall Guy - 7/10 Thelma - 7/10 Twisters - 7/10 -Natural disaster flicks just work for me. Getting to look at Daisy Edgar-Jones for 2 hours never hurts as well. Cuckoo - 7/10 - Insanely impressive and physical performance from Hunter Schafer. Cool visual style and flair, but ultimately dragged down by a total clusterfuck of a plot. I was confused throughout. Hilarious German accent from Dan Stevens Peak Season - 7/10 Kneecap - 7/10 - Some of the funniest one-liners of the year ("Look who it is, Bone Thugz and no harmony", "I feel like I discovered the Beatles, if the Beatles were shit."). The whole RRAD storyline kept it from greatness though, that was a bit too goofy for its own good. Wolfs - 7/10 - I went in wanting Pitt/Clooney banter and that's exactly what I got. Blink Twice - 7/10 My Old Ass - 7/10 Better Man - 7/10 Nightbitch - 7/10 - Your mom's favorite movie of 2024. The awful first trailer didn't do it justice, this was solid, it just doesn't get dark like you'd hope it would. Out of Darkness - 7/10 - Saw this during a Mystery Movie Monday and was pleasantly surprised. Pretty brutal, atmospheric, and violent. Some cool overhead shots and a nice score. One of the better Mystery Movies I've seen. We Grown Now - 7/10 The End We Start From - 7/10 Kinds of Kindness - 7/10 - Not the best Yorgos but deliciously-freaky and daring filmmaking nonetheless. Babes - 7/10 Fancy Dance - 7/10 MaXXXine - 7/10 - Definitely the weakest of the trilogy but still a solid slasher with a very interesting setting. Mia Goth has great moments like in the first two. Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1 - 7/10 - I don't care, the montage at the end was sick. I really hope Costner gets to fund as many of these as he wants. Wicked - 7/10 - Pretty good, not great. Ariana Grande was the standout. There were only 2 songs that were really catchy though, wish there were more. Juror #2 - 7/10 Fly Me to the Moon - 7/10 The End - 7/10 - Gorgeously-shot, super well acted, beautiful set design and production, but way too long and had no reason to be a musical. The songs were all exactly the same and pointless and there much so much time in between that you would forget it was even a musical. George MacKay kills it. Being Maria - 7/10 Cabrini - 7/10 - Maybe a bit overlong but honestly not bad. Surprised it's from the same director as Sound of Freedom, it's quite a step up from that. Much larger and ambitious in scope, and the lead actress was really really great. It solidly panders to its intended audience but it’s well made enough that you can just gloss over the eye-rolling moments. In the Land of Saints and Sinners - 7/10 - The best Neeson action-flick in a while, so that's something. Kerry Condon as the big villain was awesome. Need more of her in stuff. Y2K - 7/10 - The single-funniest death scene of the year was the skateboard scene. Laughed so hard, made my night. Audience really dug this one too, good atmosphere. Fred Durst. The Queen of My Dreams - 7/10 - I was getting massive Deja Vu with The Persian Version last year. Extremely similar story and vibe, equally fun/honest/heartfelt. Speak No Evil - 7/10 Immaculate - 7/10 - Sydney Sweeney stepping out of her comfort zone and doing a nun-horror is cool. Long take near the end was sick. Gladiator II - 7/10 - Doesn't hold a candle to the original but it was still an entertaining sandals & swords story. Fred Hechinger is so awful in this though. Man, that took me out of it. Back to Black - 7/10 - This movie is conflicting. In a vacuum, ignoring Winehouse's actual story, it's a solid music-biopic carried by a powerhouse breakthrough performance from Marisa Abela and an amazing soundtrack (obviously). On the other hand, it's a disgusting whitewash by her estate to downplay her truly awful father. The fact that he had final approval over this movie, and will financially benefit from it, is just gross and hard to ignore. The 2015 documentary does a better job telling Amy's whole story in an emotional way, and that doc made my blood boil (and is one of my favorite docs ever). Coup! - 7/10 The Hypnosis - 7/10 The Last Stop in Yuma County - 7/10 Your Monster - 7/10 Blitz - 7/10 - The cartoonish villains and improbably scenarios the kid kept finding himself in took this down a notch for me. Could've been great, but it didn't quite get there. How much bad shit can happen to one kid in 24 hours? Find out with Blitz. On a technical level it had a lot going for it though. In the Summers - 7/10 Maria - 7/10 - Jolie kills it and it looked gorgeous but a really big step down from Jackie/Spencer for Pablo Larrain, a big 'style over substance' movie and weirdly disrespectful to Jackie Kennedy as well for some odd reason. Very weird structure. Lost Soulz - 7/10 The Girls Are Alright - 7/10 All We Imagine As Light - 7/10 - With all the hype I was expecting to be blown away. It was good but kind of a let down. Girls Will Be Girls - 7/10 Ezra - 7/10 Young Woman and the Sea - 7/10 - An inspiring sports-biopic with a very old-school and authentic feel. The Remember the Titans of swimming movies. It hits all of the cliches and it's super cheesy, but in all of the right ways. It just works. Daisy Ridley was great, and as far as swimming movies are concerned, it's definitely ahead of Nyad. Hundreds of Beavers - 7/10 - It's funny and original, I just wish it was a bit shorter. Some of the bits definitely outstay their welcome after a while. I really like the grassroots campaign they've built around this movie though, everything from the independent theatrical showings to the support of physical media. A great success story for indie film this year. The Idea of You - 7/10 Crossing - 7/10 Sleep - 7/10 Monkey Man - 7/10 - Solid action flick for the first and third acts, but dragged down by a super boring 2nd act (where it loses all of the momentum it built) and lots of sloppy/confusing editing, especially during chase sequences. Credit for the Terrence Malick-like flashback scenes with narration/sweeping music/shots of nature/etc, pretty cool to throw those into an action movie. The Color Purple - 7/10 The Damned - 7/10 - You're hanging out with the soldiers on the frontier of the American Civil War and almost nothing happens for the entire runtime except you learn about the characters and their thoughts on life/god/religion/etc. I enjoyed it. Mean Girls - 7/10 Driving Madelaine - 7/10 Late Night with the Devil - 7/10 Snack Shack - 7/10 - Aside from the needless death at the end that tries too hard to squeeze tears out of your eyeballs, I thought this was a fun, raunchy, summer-y throwback comedy. This would've been one of my favorites in middle school probably. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice - 7/10 Joker: Folie a Deux - 7/10 The Outrun - 7/10 - Less a compelling story and more a showcase on Saoirse Ronan's acting abilities. The camera basically doesn't move from her for a single second and she completely carries it. She's the best. Flow - 7/10 Black Box Diaries - 7/10 Queer - 7/10 The Return - 7/10 New Life - 7/10 - I really respect a movie that can pull off a wild genre-switch halfway through the movie. Went in fully blind so it was totally unexpected. Also impressive this tiny movie could license Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone (played a few times). Lisa Frankenstein - 7/10 - The ultimate "could've been truly great with a R rating" movie. Bob Marley: One Love - 7/10 - It does just enough to keep it out of the Super Generic Biopic Genre and any movie that can squeeze a few tears out of me gets an extra point. Sorry, that's just the rules. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes - 7/10 1992- 7/10 - Other than Ray Liotta being written like a ridiculous cartoon villain and some eye-rolling dialogue issues, it actually was a pretty solid crime drama... and Tyrese Gibson was…good? (/r/brandnewsentence) French Girl - 7/10 The Peasants - 7/10 - Visually impressive and a sick score, but a schmaltzy/melodramatic story kinda kept it from the next level. The Monk and the Gun - 7/10 Bad Boys: Ride or Die - 6/10 Seven Blessings - 6/10 Knox Goes Away - 6/10 - Michael Keaton does his best and commits but the writing & performance of every single side character brings the whole thing down a bit. The cop/ex-wife/son characters are bumbling, distractingly-dumb goofballs that keep the plot from ever grounding to reality, but it ultimately gets dark and violent enough to stay pretty entertaining. The script really could've used some more cleaning up. Trap - 6/10 - Listen I have a lot (a lot) of problems with this movie but Kid Cudi randomly showing up for 5 minutes and randomly delivering insane lines like "“I specifically said i wanted honey suckle kombucha biiiiitchhhh” made the trip to the theater worth it. Small Things Like These - 6/10 Sometimes I Think About Dying - 6/10 Kidnapped - 6/10 Asphalt City - 6/10 - Standout performance from Tye Sheridan but this leaned a bit too much into misery porn for my liking. Every single day is the absolute worst day on the job. Extremely stress-inducing first hour. Mike Tyson being cast as the medic chief was certainly a choice...and it worked somehow? Eden - 6/10 - Had trouble getting past the awful accents and the sinking feeling that this was missed potential. I was at the World Premiere for this and someone in the audience had a medical emergency, they had to pause the screening and turn the lights on while the person was carried out on people's shoulders. Jude Law/Sydney Sweeney/Ana de Armas/Ron Howard were all there wondering what was going on. Kind of a crazy situation. Land of Bad - 6/10 Unstoppable - 6/10 Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - 6/10 - Skull Island's bland and less impressive/memorable little brother. Thumbs up for Baby Kong and the Rio de Janeiro destruction sequence, thumbs down for the lame story and unlimited amounts of annoying human characters. Bad Shabbos - 6/10 Inside Out 2 - 6/10 Firebrand - 6/10 A Different Man - 6/10 - I didn't connect to this as much as most people did. Sebastian Stan is great as usual but the whole thing didn't do much for me. Love Me - 6/10 - 10/10 for the attempt, 4/10 for the execution. There's a really good movie hidden in here somewhere, but there needed to be some cuts made to the animated portions of the film for sure. Shell - 6/10 Housekeeping for Beginners - 6/10 Totem - 6/10 The Fire Inside - 6/10 Widow Clicquot - 6/10 - This starts off really really really slow but then finds its footing late and ends on a solid note. Career-best performance from Haley Bennett, she really carries this. Tuesday - 6/10 Piece by Piece - 6/10 The Cut - 6/10 - Standout turns from Orlando Bloom and Caitriona Balfe, brought down by some weird editing choices. The neon-green hallucinations were a wild choice. I sat next to Katy Perry for this movie, AMA. Memoir of a Snail - 6/10 The Romano Twins - 6/10 Mufasa: The Lion King - 6/10 Film Geek - 6/10 Self-Reliance - 6/10 - Pretty cute movie with a few laughs, but the ending lost its focus and felt rushed. The Andy Samberg bits were great. I wanted more from the relationship with Anna Kendrick's character, feels like there was more to explore there. "This an intervention." "For me?" "No, we're just all facing the wrong direction." Queen of the Ring - 6/10 Coup de Chance - 6/10 - It's nowhere near peak-Woody Allen but it's a passable return to form since Rifkin's Festival, Wonder Wheel, and A Rainy Day In New York (all 3 awful, with Rifkin's Festival being rock bottom for Allen's filmography). The one thing it was missing was humor. I can always trust an Allen film to at least have a few funny/witty lines (even the bad ones), but this was very cut and dry. Could've used a few more good lines. Sasquatch Sunset - 6/10 - I was excited for the premise and there's a few sweet/funny moments, but most of it ends up being mindless shitting/pissing/fucking. Credit for the unique idea and great views. Bird - 6/10 - One of the more disappointing films of the year. Even after the lukewarm reception at Cannes, I had super high hopes because I’m a huge Andrea Arnold fan, but the surrealism in this movie just didn’t work. It threw off the whole balance and wasn’t at all what I expected/wanted. Nikiya Adams and Barry Keoghan were both very solid, and the scene where the group sang Coldplay’s Yellow to the frog was amazing. Omni Loop- 6/10 Here - 6/10 - A valiant attempt but ultimately kind of a hot mess. A few good moments keep it watchable. Some real uncanny valley shit in there too though. Queen Rock Montreal - 6/10 Turning Red - 6/10 Scrambled - 6/10 The Book of Clarence - 6/10 - LaKeith Stanfield was great and committed as usual (although I don't like twin dual-roles), and James McAvoy and Cumberbatch chewing on scenery was fun, this movie had a lot of trouble figuring out what it wanted to be. I really wish it leaned more into the funny/satire and less into the serious Mel Gibson/Jim Caviezel-type biblical drama. Cool that a movie like this can be made/funded and released in theaters though. Booger - 6/10 Irena's Vow - 6/10 - Great story, extremely generic period drama. A Great Divide - 6/10 Riff Raff - 6/10 - A bit outdated and mean-spirited, this would've slapped in 2006, but Bill Murray and Pete Davidson as the incompetent mob assassins makes it worth a watch. Rosalie - 6/10 Skincare - 6/10 Yellow Bus - 6/10 Arcadian - 6/10 - It's fine and stretches its tiny budget so its absolute limit but it's basically a Dollar Store A Quiet Place. The monster design and animation was hilariously-bad though, like an Asylum knock-off movie. I'm also now convinced that Nic Cage is contractually obligated to have his face smothered in fake blood for any movie. Nutcrackers - 6/10 The Invisibles - 6/10 Riley -6/10 Rob Peace - 6/10 - A well-shot movie with great direction and performance from the supporting characters (Mary J Blige and Chiwetel Ejiofor) completely dragged down by an awful lead performance by Jay Will. Also the script was a bit silly, they were trying way too hard to make him 100% infallible. Christmas Eve in Miller's Point - 6/10 - I liked the hectic atmosphere of the crazy Christmas family party that we've all been at, and the very scratchy look of the camera. Rumours - 6/10 - I can appreciate what Maddin was going for, and there's some moments that work (mostly with Cate Blanchett and Charles Dance, they were awesome), but overall surreal-absurd-fantasy-comedy like this just doesn't work for me. Fallen Fruit - 6/10 Birthrite - 6/10 Crumb Catcher - 6/10 Anselm - 6/10 Scapegoat - 6/10 Seeds - 5/10 - There’s clearly heart and maybe a great movie in here somewhere, but it’s such a tonal mess that it’s hard to find anything to love. Sujo - 5/10 The Beekeeper - 5/10 - This is the Rebel Moon of Jason Bourne movies. A few cool kills and classic Statham one-liners keep it from being a total loss, but it's not very good. Unsung Hero - 5/10 Jeanne du Barry- 5/10 Treasure - 5/10 A Sacrifice - 5/10 The American Society of Magical Negroes - 5/10 - All over the place and it gave a constant feeling of "missed opportunity" (a la Book of Clarence). Justice Smith is straight-up not a convincing lead. An-Li Bogan was the standout, and I saw her end twist coming from a mile away so I got that going for me which is nice. La Syndicaliste - 5/10 Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - 5/10 The Watchers - 5/10 Borderlands - 5/10 - Went in expecting a 1/10, got a 5/10. Nice. Life is all about the little wins. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire - 5/10 - Just give this franchise a permanent rest. It wasn't awful in any particular way, but it was totally soulless and heartless. It felt like nobody really gave a shit except Kumail Nanjiani. Safe, sanitized, studio slop. They couldn't even fully commit to the one interesting thing (the gay ghost love story). National Anthem - 5/10 The 4:30 Movie - 5/10 - Kevin Smith jerking himself off for 80 minutes. Would make a fun double-feature with Snack Shack though. Universal Language - 5/10 - This had a lot of hype of out Cannes and it's Canada's submission for the Oscars so I had a lot of hope, but it just didn't do much for me. Surreal-absurdism just isn't my cup of tea. The only real standout scene was the one with the Quebec democrat. A rare case of the Q&A being more interesting than the movie itself. Kraven the Hunter - 5/10 Time Still Turns the Pages - 5/10 Upgraded - 5/10 - Basically a Great Value The Devil Wears Prada. Good as rom-com-background-nois. Marissa Tomei is awful in this. One of the worst performances of the year. Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot - 5/10 Out of Season - 5/10 Miller's Girl - 5/10 Latin for All - 5/10 Argylle - 5/10 - How a movie like The Creator can be made for $80M but something so awful-looking like this needs $200M blows my mind. I.S.S. - 5/10 - I love a good sandwich-making climax as much as the next guy, but what a painfully awkward ending. The first 25 minutes made me think something decent could be happening then it derails hard and never recovers. The worst thing to happen to the space program since Challenger. Get Away - 5/10 Brothers - 5/10 Life's a Bitch - 5/10 - France's (bad) answer to Yorgos Lanthimos. A dry, twisted, gross, weirdly-sexual, anthology film with a lot less nudity but a lot more dogs than Kinds of Kindness. Kinda loses its way comedically and becomes a chore after the first chapter. Azrael - 5/10 Monster Summer - 5/10 - Like a G-rated IT, with Mel Gibson for some reason (?) Kung Fu Panda 4 - 5/10 Garfield - 5/10 Villains, Inc - 5/10 - It had a certain cheap charm but an overwhelming sense of "SNL Digital Short sketch stretched way too thin". Excursion - 5/10 Sleeping Dogs - 5/10 Notice to Quit - 5/10 - The kid actor was really good but I'm just a bit over following an extremely unlikeable lead around doing shitty things to people. Reunion - 5/10 The Boy in the Woods - 5/10 Paradise - 5/10 Karaoke - 5/10 It Ends With Us - 5/10 Poolman - 4/10 - The ugly, boring, confused lovechild of Inherent Vice and Under the Silver Lake. Avenue of the Giants - 4/10 Arthur the King - 4/10 - Marky Mark has really devolved as an actor honestly, really tough performance from him here. It's like he's completely forgotten how to convincingly deliver lines. Right from the GoPro scenes at the beginning I knew it was gonna be a rough time. This movie is like 85% exposition. Janet Planet - 4/10 - Bookended by 2 great scenes, but filled with mostly pointless garbage. Dandelion - 4/10 By the Stream - 4/10 - I enjoy Hong Sangsoo movies in very small doses. This dose was just way too big. Venom: The Last Dance - 4/10 Red One - 4/10 Oh, Canada - 4/10 - Dreadfully confusing, and Jacob Elordi puts in one of the worst performances of the year, but at least that Phosphorescent soundtrack kept me engaged. Slingshot - 4/10 Adios Buenos Aires - 4/10 Humane - 4/10 Some Other Woman - 4/10 My Daughter, My Love - 4/10 Madame Web - 4/10 - Slop. IF - 4/10 - Not really for adults, not really for kids/teens. Who was this movie even for?... Freud's Last Session - 4/10 Werewolves - 4/10 - So much lens flare. I am now blind. Ramona at Midlife - 4/10 The Last Front - 4/10 My Penguin Friend - 4/10 Augure - 4/10 Which Brings Me To You - 4/10 - Looking back over this ranking, I'm gonna be honest and say I have no idea what this was. Don't remember. To producers out there: please stop making your movie titles random vague sentences. Mai - 4/10 Meanwhile on Earth - 4/10 Lizzie Lazarus - 4/10 Or Something - 4/10 The Way We Speak - 4/10 Cult Killer - 3/10 - Antonio Banderas shows up for like 5 minutes and then nopes the fuck out. Total paycheck movie. The Feeling that the Time for Doing Something Has Passed - 3/10 - There were some funny lines (especially the 9/11 dating profile bit) but this was so painfully dry and slow that I could never really connect. If desert-dry, awkward, deadpan delivery, with an absurd amount of BDSM-sex-stuff thrown in is your thing, you might find a few things to like. I could not. Never Let Go - 3/10 The Throwback - 3/10 The City - 3/10 Rats! - 3/10 - This would've worked well as an edgy Youtube short in 2012. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - 3/10 He Went That Way - 3/10 - Half roadtrip comedy with a chimp, half brutal serial killer drama. Tonally all over the place. The kind of movie you'd expect Jacob Elordi to try to bury (a la Dicaprio with Don's Plum) and fire his agent over before it sees the light of way. Baffling decisions made by everyone here. Megalopolis - 2/10 - I went in expecting a mess but I was still not prepared for how bad this was. It’s Neil Breen with an unlimited budget. It felt like 6 hours. It looked so cheap and awful. A mix of Lifetime movie and a middle school play. I refuse to believe it’s bad on purpose for comedy. The only thing keeping this from a 1 is that Adam Driver/Coppola/Nathalie Emmanuel/Giancarlo Esposito were at my screening for Q&A (god bless their sweet little souls for having to seriously promote this hot mess). "What do you think of this boner I got right here?” is a line 85 year old Jon Voight actually says in a real movie in the year of our lord 2024. My therapist will hear about this. A Boy Who Dreamt of Electricity - 2/10 Isle of Hope - 2/10 - Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. Chosen Family - 1/10 - This was borderline unfinished and full-on embarrassing. The production value of a daytime soap opera mixed in with the sound editing of a local high school play. It's impressive how much filler (drone shots of surrounding neighborhood) can be squeezed into 84 minutes of movie. Sitting a few seats away from Heather Graham was a nice bonus (with Q&A), but it couldn't come close to making up for this disaster. Unranked (Re-Releases and/or TV Series): Dune (Re-Release) - 10/10 Interstellar (Re-Release) - 10/10 Ex Machina (Re-Release) - 9/10 The Shawshank Redemption (Re-Release) - 8/10 Bound (Re-Release) - 8/10 Mr. & Mrs. Smith Episodes 1 & 2 (TV Series) - 7/10 Possession (Re-Release) - 7/10 But I'm A Cheerleader (Re-Release) - 7/10 The Acolyte Episodes 1 & 2 (TV Series) - 6/10 Society (Re-Release) - 6/10 Black Christmas (Re-Release) - 6/10 Apples Never Fall Episode 1 (TV Series) - 6/10 Maniac Cop 2 (Re-Release- 6/10 The Room (Re-Release) - 5/10 Cruel Intentions Episode 1 (TV Series) - 5/10 La Maquina Episode 1 (TV Series) - 4/10 After Annecy (Short Film) - 3/10 Maniac (Re-Release) - 3/10 Mother (Re-Release) - 3/10 Stats: Multiple Viewings: Dune: Part Two (x2) Babes (x2) Deadpool & Wolverine (x2) Sing Sing (x2) Back to Black (x2) The Wild Robot (x2) Anora (x2) Theater Distribution by Venue/Chain: AMC - 96 Regal - 66 Silverspot - 18 Cinemark - 8 Landmark - 1 Other/Festival/Independent - 109 (Including: Arsht Center, Autonation IMAX, Cinema Paradiso, Classic Gateway, Coastal Creative, Coral Gables Art Cinema, Enzian Theater, Hard Rock Ballroom, Koubek Center, TIFF Lightbox, Lucas Theater, Miami Theater Center, Movies of Delray, O'Cinema South Beach, Princess of Wales, Roy Thomson Hall, Royal Alexandra, Savor Cinema, SCAD Museum, Scotiabank, Tampa Theater, Trustees Theater) Film Festivals Attended: Toronto International Film Festival - 30 Movies in 8 Days Savannah SCAD Film Festival - 20 Movies in 8 Days Miami Film Festival - 20 Movies and 1 TV Series in 10 Days Florida Film Festival - 19 Movies in 6 Days Miami Jewish Film Festival - 10 Movies in 7 Days Popcorn Frights Film Festival - 7 Movies in 4 Days Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival - 6 Movies in 4 Days Gasparilla International Film Fstival - 5 Movies in 2 Days Theater Visits by Month: https://i.imgur.com/sKQYFp9.png January: 32 February: 17 March: 27 April: 54 May: 18 June: 18 July: 12 August: 24 September: 38 October: 23 November: 22 December: 13 Theater Visits by Day of the Week: https://i.imgur.com/xC7pt1S.png Monday - 25 Tuesday - 23 Wednesday - 23 Thursday - 49 Friday - 64 Saturday - 67 Sunday - 47 Notable Missed Movies: https://i.imgur.com/iPhOD5s.png Cast/Crew/Filmmaker Q&As/Appearances: Part 1 - https://i.imgur.com/a6JsfR0.png Part 2 - https://i.imgur.com/YQIJZUl.png Part 3 - https://i.imgur.com/9cyEkKY.png Favorite Performances: https://i.imgur.com/Sfv5OZB.png Past Rankings: 2018 (162 Movies) 2019 (192 Movies) 2020 (44 Movies) 2021 (86 Movies) 2022 (270 Movies) 2023 (325 Movies) submitted by /u/BunyipPouch to r/movies [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Axelbarillas My girlfriend(F21) rejected my(M21) proposal because it didn’t meet her expectations Originally posted to r/AITAH Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Original Post Dec 9, 2024 For context, My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and over thanksgiving weekend I took her on a weeklong trip to Hawai’i with the intention of proposing to her, I even asked her parents for their blessing and showed them the ring a couple days before we left for the trip. We have talked about marriage before and we’ve both agreed that we want to marry each other, so the idea of it is nothing new and actually a frequent topic. The issue is that she wanted a grand wedding proposal similar to the ones you might see on tiktok/instagram; Big “MARRY ME” letters on the beach, rose petals on the ground, lights, mariachi, etc. I was absolutely on board on doing that for her if it made her happy, but that was something to be planned at a beach back at home since I wouldn’t have the resources to plan it for a trip to somewhere we’ve never been, especially because we booked everything as a last minute vacation just 5 days prior, ironically after she sent me videos of people vacationing in Hawaii. I believed this would be a great opportunity though. I planned to propose to her on the day we arrived. I carried the ring in my pocket all day waiting for a good opportunity to ask her (knowing it wasn’t going to be a grand proposal like she had hoped, but I thought because of the circumstances she would be happy)however we had some completely unnecessary arguments and I decided to postpone because I didn’t want to do it after a bitter day. Second day there, we had booked a reservation to go parasailing. I didn’t want to risk losing the ring, so I left it back at the hotel. We didn’t get back to the hotel until ~5pm and we started getting ready to go back out in the city, by this time it was already starting to get dark. She’s said before that she would want a sunset proposal, and knowing that I couldn’t organize any of the other things she had in mind for a proposal, the sunset was the only thing I had. I missed my chance on that but we still went out to dinner and drinks. We came back to the hotel afterwards because she was tired (I was too, it was an eventful day). I let her rest for a bit and around 10:30 I convinced her to go on a night walk with me at the beach. This was when I planned to propose to her. We got to the beach, the city was very much still awake and the lights of the buildings and streets combined with the bright moon illuminated the ocean beautifully. We stood there hugging and kissing, both knowing it was a beautiful and intimate moment. I started telling her how much I love her and how I want to be with her my entire life etc. As I started to get on my knee and reaching my pocket for the ring, she stopped me. “I hope you’re not about to propose to me right now, this isn’t what I expected”. My heart dropped, I got back up and stood speechless before starting to walk back to the hotel. I was in no mood to talk about the situation and told her we should talk about it tomorrow. We talked about it the next day and she insists on me doing it again, but this time “the right way” during sunset. I tell her I can’t do that because she rejected me already. She tells me she didn’t reject it, just simply it wasn’t how she would have wanted it to happen. We spent the next 4 days in Hawaii in a very tense state but we had to deal with it until we got back home. We live together and for the first night she went to sleep with her parents, now she came back but I don’t want to be home with her there. What can be the outcome of the situation? I obviously didn’t want this to happen during our vacation, but I can’t see it other way. Is this a valid reason for me not wanting to be with her anymore? I also don’t think it’s right for me to redo the proposal. TL;DR: Girlfriend turned down my proposal during our vacation to Hawaii because it didn’t fit her idea of a grand proposal, yet insists on me redoing it how she wants it. RELEVANT COMMENTS Duzzy-Bench2784 U dodged a bullet , shouldn’t be proposing at 21. At what beach was it? OOP Waikīkī beach, we stayed right in front. I figured a nighttime proposal wouldn’t be bad since she has also said she wouldn’t want it to be too “public” Flower-of-Telperion She cares more about the proposal than actually being married to you. She is just not mature enough to make this kind of commitment. ~ DangerNoodle1993 Better now then later. But I must ask, were there any warning signs before because I have a feeling you may have overlooked character flaws. NTA OOP There was definitely warning signs. I got her a designer bag one time for her birthday ($2,700 LV) and after that she told me she wants a bag for her birthdays. One year money was tight so i got her a $550 Coach bag which she later joked was cheap. She’s worn the LV once.. OOP Adds about the trip and proposal planning I’m not saying it’s impossible to plan a proposal how she wanted it, but you have to understand that the vacation was a last minute thing I booked just 5 days prior. It was saturday when she had sent me a tiktok of someone going to Hawaii, and by friday morning we were on the plane over. I’ve been thinking about marriage and I just took that as an opportunity to do it. UPDATE 1 - Dec 10, 2024 (Next Day) UPDATE: So we had another conversation about it once she came back home from her parents. She’s still adamant that I failed to meet her expectations. Admittedly, I understand I didn’t do any of the things she had visualized it to be. I want to emphasize that we’re young, and the proposals she’s seen on social media are nothing but TRENDS. These proposals have become popular in maybe the last year or 2, prior to that she’s told she that she wants an intimate proposal and especially away from the public. People are telling me I’m wrong because I knew exactly what she wanted and didn’t do it. She also tells me that a proposal is solely about the female and what she wants. I think that’s bullshit. I know I’ve told her that I was on board on doing her fantasy proposal, yet I changed my mind about that. I didn’t want to plan this huge thing at my hometown beach just for the spectacle of it, I preferred to do it in a way I knew we’d both enjoy. IN HAWAII ESPECIALLY. Something that really bugs me is she says that I made the trip seem like “just another trip, nothing crazy or out of the ordinary”This is literally our first ever vacation flight together. The same night that happened, we had brunch, went parasailing, and had a wonderful teppenyaki dinner. Am I selfish for changing the whole proposal up without consulting her? I don’t understand why some people say I’m selfish for not doing what she wanted, I still did something that objectively should make any woman ecstatic. I think my focus now is shifting from wondering if it’s okay for me to break up with her for turning me down, to wanting to break up for her ungratefulness in general. Another reason why she said it wasn’t up to her expectations was because we were both dressed casually. She wanted me to give her prior notice that something special was going to happen by telling her to get glammed up. NOTE—To the people asking why I couldn’t propose the next day at sunset: another requirement for her proposal was for her dog to be there, which she told me that same minute after telling me it’s not what she expected. She absolutely adores this dog and has always told me she wants him to be ringbrearer at our wedding— sure thing, if it makes her happy I really don’t mind. Issue is she also wanted that to be the case for the proposal, which I was absolutely unaware of (and obviously we didn’t take the dog with us). She was just too focused on how she wanted the proposal rather than just being excited about being with me. RELEVANT COMMENTS LowEmergency1920 21, been together for 6 years. So you started dating at 15? How long have yall been living together? I’m not a fan of the idea of putting arbitrary timelines on things like relationships, but living together is definitely an important milestone. So is traveling/trips/vacations. Time together is almost irrelevant, you don’t really know someone until you live with them. Go through hardships with them. See how they are at low points and how they react when you are. OOP Yes we started dating at 15. Around 17 she had an accident at her house and it ended up burning down. Her parents couldn’t find a place nearby so they ended up moving away and I told her she can stay with me until we finish high school. She stayed and lived with me at my parents until about 6 months ago when we moved out on our own. Final Update - Daec 12, 2024 (2 days after OG Post) UPDATE 2 We had the breakup talk. My girlfriend has always been a bit self centered. I’ve known that and have been able to put up with it. About 4 months ago she started having therapy sessions. I don’t know how long they last, what days they are, or what they talk about. I do know that she has become an entirely different person. She’s been more compassionate and cooperative with me(the things I’ve always wished for her to be more)— this caused me to be fully ready to commit to a life with her, hoping this new mentality is permanent. Anyway, she talked to her therapist and told me that she asked her one question: “do you like surprises?”. She tells her of course she does. She explains to her that as her boyfriend, I most likely know that, and was trying to do something heartfelt and unscripted. No mariachi, glamorous dress or big letters, just us 2. She further tells her that if she truly felt in her heart that she wants to live a life with me, all of the other superficial stuff shouldn’t matter. She’s apologizing to me, telling me she really regrets doing that and assuring me she would’ve said yes anyway. My biggest regret is i’ll never really know what she would’ve said, though in my gut I’m not 100% sure she would’ve said yes. Her first thoughts when that was happening was completely dismissive of me and disrespectful, something that for once I feel like I can’t take anymore. I’m standing my ground, telling her i’ve swallowed my pride way too many times in the past, and we should go through with it. I’ll be sleeping on the couch, she’ll be packing her things tomorrow and going to live with her parents. FINAL COMMENTS yzerman2010 I think its great she is getting help and she's trying to change.. I would hold off another few months or a year and see if this change is permanent before you move forward with asking her again. Time does heal wounds and I think eventually it won't bug you as much mentally that she turned you down for a superficial reason. OOP Yeah I understand I should’ve waited more to confirm this new change is permanent. She’s also suggested me to the idea of couples/premarital counseling, which i’m willing to do, although a big piece of me is pretty set on what I want to do ~ Ok-Outlandishness230 Hey Buddy, You know how some women can feel uncomfortable with public proposals? Maybe a similar kind of vulnerability applies in reverse here. I understand the initial frustration, and while I can get behind the surface-level argument, when you mentioned she’s been in therapy and working to better herself, I think it’s worth pausing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Your relationship deserves at least that much. You made a commitment when you decided to propose—it wasn’t a joke or a whim. Are you saying your resolve was so fragile that it couldn’t weather the first major challenge? Let’s be real—while it’s nice to think your life partner would be happy with any proposal, that’s not always how it plays out. When I proposed, I spent over a year planning it, but even then, the execution and style turned out completely different on the day. But guess what? I caught the sunset, and it was magical in its own way. You’ve had conversations about marriage and even discussed her ideal proposals. This isn’t about pride; it’s about recognizing the commitment you made and reflecting on whether you fell short of honoring it. Give her a real chance. Don’t throw away the last six years over one moment that can be rebuilt. OOP Thanks for the advice. I’ve told her that I appreciate her new mentality, and have praised her for working on herself. Like i’ve said, i’ve swallowed my pride way too many times with her in the past. Our relationship has been toxic before, and in fact we’ve had several “break” periods. We’ve been good for a while now but it gets to the point where it almost seems like it’ll always repeat, this was the final straw for me. I know we’ve been together for a while now especially for our age, but one thing I can’t get past is that we’re still so young it almost feels like it just wasn’t meant to be. I still feel very guilty about the whole thing MikeMyon If you call "the last straw" a marriage proposal, then I think it's not a good foundation to be married. When asked why she didn't enjoy the proposal She told me she enjoyed the moment. She enjoyed the walk with me on the beach and the intimate time we were having there together. I thought a moment like that was perfect to propose. Despite how much she enjoyed the events leading up up it, it didn’t fit her idea of a proposal OOP on the letters on the beach the ex wanted You definitely have the wrong idea regarding the letters. https://elitemarqueelights.com/proposal-packages letters like the ones you’ll see on this link is what her expectations are, not written on the sand— that might just make her laugh THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is an economic argument not a political one. Although, who we vote for, and the laws they vote on, has direct economic impacts on Minnesota so I am tagging this with the politics tag. (this is a bit of a long argument so be prepared) I am a 40 year old single man in Minnesota. I don't have any kids so why should I have to Pay for parents who are terrible with their kids and don't care for their kids at all. Or pay for breakfast / lunch for parents who are far wealthier than I am. How about politicians who I absolutely despise. Why should their kids get free breakfast and lunch? There is talk that feeding kids breakfast and lunch for kids in Minnesota will cost Minnesota more. We may go into debt because of it. I may never meet that kid or ever interact with that kid, so why should I pay for that kid to get breakfast and lunch for free? The answer is The best investment that we can make in Minnesota is in the kids of Minnesota. The best investment that we can make in Minnesota is in the young men and women of Minnesota. The majority of parents in Minnesota bust their but for their kids. Is that every parent? Absolutely not. There are wealthy parents, but they are not the majority of parents in Minnesota. Quite simply the majority of parents are not abusing their kids or ultra-wealthy, nor are they kids of politicians. The Republicans who opposed breakfast and lunch for kids will answer that the majority of parents in their district are good and hardworking, because if they said the majority of parents in their district are shitty or wealthy, well they would be out of a job. Think about a successful multi-millionaire real estate investor. If you ask them if they have debt, every single one will say absolutely. They purchase an apartment building for 50 million they put 10 million down (20%) and take ae 40 million loan from the bank. (The bank does their investigation and see that this property and the history of the investor is sound.) The day after the purchase agreement goes through that investor will not see that apartment building worth $150 million. That is not what they expect, they expect that they will pay back the bank, the maintenance on the apartment, and on top of that make money. This is breakfast and lunch for kids. Tomorrow a kid won't invent a technological marvel but our investment in this kid will pay off, in time. We have to be patient. If you have stock or invest in a 401k you already look to long term returns. The best investors will tell you to find a good investment and hold. Minnesota kids are our best investment. I may never drive on every road in Minnesota but I don't mind if those roads are maintained. Simply because it may benefit me in the future. If I get into an accident I want the ambulance to get to me as fast as possible on the best roads. The same thing for kids in Minnesota. Your safety is in kids that we take care of now which will grow into kids that take care of us in the future. State Sen. Steve Drazkowski "[he] yet to meet a person in Minnesota who is hungry." Every kids who is hungry does not go to their legislature to tell them. For me voting Republicans into office is an economic argument. I fear that their shortsighted investment strategy in Minnesota, namely trying to repeal breakfast and lunch for kids in Minnesota, will lead to less Minnesota growth, and frankly, less money for the majority of Minnesotans. Personally, I believe there is a kid in Minnesota where mom and dad are struggling, but he is a top rate kid. Imagine a young man in Minnesota showcasing an invention in a small town and you happened to invest in that product. You give him $1000 for 1% or even 10% of his company and then after a few years the company takes off. Getting 1% of Google or Amazon will cost you hundreds of millions of dollars. Getting in on the ground floor with a brilliant kid in Minnesota who is living in that small town will cost you much less. Free breakfast and lunch, for me, is just the start. This is personal for me. My mom suffered from depression but she worked hard. Our refridgerator was never packed with food since our old car was mostly on the fritz, and getting to a grocery store involved taking the bus. Deciding which foods a mother and her son can carry in each hand. Also, yes I was in the affordable breakfast and lunch program, and that helped me and my mother out greatly. Free breakfast and lunch should not go away. Quite simply. We need to think of the young Minnesotans as our American Assets. submitted by /u/thegooseisloose1982 to r/minnesota [link] [comments]

A lot of people asked me to update so here it is. Warning: This is a long one and if I wasn't an AH before, I sure am now. So after my mom berated Laura and my brother yelled at my husband and I, I took the advice I was given and sent them a long text which ended up being a bit of a ramble about everything, how fucked the situation is, how we're disgusted by their stance and how we'll be going LC until we feel ready to be around them again. That was the day after my brother packed his bags and left. I was left on read and I thought that was that until a few days ago when I got a call from Laura. I thought about not answering it but curiosity got the better of me. When I picked up, Laura tried to make awkward small talk but I think she sensed I wasn't in the mood and got right to it- she apologized about her behavior, said she had no excuse other than her hormones and we ended up having a long chat about everything. By the end of it, I actually felt better and like we could get past it and work on our relationship. She also mentioned that she would still like for my family and I to come to her birthday dinner. It wasn't going to happen in a restaurant anymore (I guess the hotel stay ended up costing them a lot as some of you predicted) and that it was going to be at their house instead. I told her that I'll talk with my husband and get back to her. I also got a text from my brother apologizing and saying he was just trying to protect and stand by his wife. It was too soon to start mending things as my husband pointed out but he left the choice up to me and I honestly believed her apology because she had never acted like that before and she seemed actually ashamed of herself. Anyway, my sister (who was also apologized to bc she also tore her a new one) and parents (also got an apology) were also invited but my sister's kids wanted a cousins sleepover instead of going with us so after talking it over with my sister, we agreed for them to have one at my house. My babysitters of a year are my next door neighbors. They're sweet and responsible 16yo twins who live with their single mom. They usually team up and tackle on my kids on date nights (there's a reason I'm mentioning this.) With my sister's added 2 kids to the mix, I asked their mom if she was free to join their duo and she agreed. So I called Laura and told her that Richard and I are coming. When we got to their house, Laura greeted my husband and I at the door. We handed her the gift and went in but she seemed puzzled that we didn't have a trail of kids with us so I reminded told her that it's just us adults tonight. Same thing happened when my sister and her husband walked in. Dinner was awkward, no matter how we tried to lighten up the mood and the conversation was stilted at best but I thought it was at least a step forward. Laura asked this time about why the kids were not with us, that she had made special food for them. I never mentioned the kids when I got back to her, just my husband and I but I felt like it was my fault that I didn't clarify and so I apologized for it and thanked her for thinking of them. My sister chimed in that her kids and mine were having a cousins' sleepover tonight and how she was excited about our soon to be nephew to join them when he's here and older. Laura looked at her with a smile and said "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be best friends with his cousins (as in my kids) and his step-cousins (as in my sister's)." This pissed me off because we don't use step anything with the kids but I bit my tongue. For context, my sister is technically my step-sister. I know I used step-dad in my first post, I usually call him by his first name. I consider him a parental figure since he raised me since I was 10 but I had a dad and the title will always be his. My sister gave her a hurt look but it was my brother who nudged his wife with a 'what are you doing?' look. A few minutes went by again with eating and light convo before Laura asked again about our kids, mainly who was watching them since all 4 parents are here. I told her that my neighbor and her daughters are babysitting to which she laughed at and joked about how incompetent the girls and their mom must be to need all three of them to wrangle the kids. Also for context: I have 4 kids. I'm biased and like to think they're well-behaved but they're sometimes too much for one person to handle, even me, and I'm the one that brought them into this world. Add my sister's two kids and it's a lot for two teenage girl to handle even for just a few hours (We left at 7 at said we'll be back at 11) It has absolutely nothing to do with the girls whom my kids adore or their mom who is as kind as they come. Before I could retort anything, my mom stepped in with one of her smiles and told Laura that it's so kind of her to offer her own competence and watch the kids next time. That shut her up real fast. After that dinner was even more awkward until we cleared the table and Laura brought out dessert while my brother got the cake from the fridge. Here's where I lost the last of my remaining braincells. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I saw my husband carrying my bag and trying to usher me out of the front door to leave. He looked pissed and I was beyond confused and obviously resisted because yes, the dinner is a trainwreck but let me at least say goodbye and give a lame excuse for our departure. When my husband tried to literally carry me out, I knew something was wrong and after a couple of tries, I darted past him back to the dining room. Laura's now ready dessert table consisted of PB cake pops, PB pie, PB cookies, PB brownies and top it all off, a PB birthday cake that my brother brought in and was sniffing at with a horrified look. Laura then gave me a big smile and said loudly to my family "I thought I should at least get to have my cravings on my birthday. Get your fill before she throws these out too." I honestly thought for a second that my sister was going to tackle her and I wasn't that far behind her because all I could think about was the fact that she thought my kids were coming and she planned this accordingly. I've felt so guilty for allowing the stuff in our house the last time and if my sister's kids hadn't wanted the sleepover, I was going to walk my son into danger a second time. I lost my shit. Without thinking about my actions, I grabbed Laura's head, forced her talk towards my brother who was I think too shocked to react and slammed her head straight into the cake. I held it down as long as I could while she flailed and told her I hope she chokes on her cravings before I let her go. I honestly wanted to go for the pie too but I had embarrassed myself enough by acting like that in the first place so I told my brother that I'm done with both him and his wife and if they try to contact me or my family again, I'm filing for a protective order then I let my husband lead me out. My sister was cackling as she followed us with her husband but our parents stayed back. I heard Laura screaming profanities after us but my step-dad raised his voice which shut her up. I got a lot of jokes about his frown on my first post but the man is as stoic as they come, him showing any emotion is a big deal. I remember that his frown alone growing up was enough to literally stop my sister and I in our tracks bc we knew if he gave us one that we messed up. I haven't asked my mom what happened after we left because I can't handle anymore heartache from my brother or his actions. I don't think this was the update anyone wanted, least of all me but I'm completely done with the both of them. Even though my brother looked like he had no idea, the stuff was in his house, happening under his damn roof. I'm sad I won't be in my nephew's life and my kids won't get to know the new cousin they've been waiting for but I'd rather cry over that than over my son's life. I don't expect anyone to be kind in the comments, I'm 32, I shouldn't have been so naive and I know I shouldn't have reacted like that and I'm going to be dealing with that with my therapist along with the guilt I'm feeling but please take it easy on me, I'm still shaken up. I'm also looking into family therapy for my kids so they can better process not having their uncle and aunt around after them having been a close presence in their lives. submitted by /u/AggravatingStart7703 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

AITA for not wanting to name our son after wife's dead brother? (New Updates) I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwawairs112 AITA for not wanting to name our son after wife's dead brother? Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/Infidelity Previous BoRU Posted by u/Klutzy_Squash TRIGGER WARNING: death of a loved one, Infidelity, child abandonment, verbal abuse, mentions of abuse and addiction Original Post Apr 24, 2022 Obligated this is a throwaway, I don't want this reaching friends or family. Also, I'm sorry for the length. I didn't know a good way to shorten this without leaving out anything important. I was directed here upon the advice of a friend, after this issue escalated to a huge argument (approx. 3 hours ago) that resulted in myself leaving our home to go to a buddy's house. I am still here, and unsure how to go about resolving this with my wife. Myself (28m) and my wife (26m) have been together for 10 years, and married for 4 of those. My wife is pregnant with our first child, a boy, and she is due in early July. Now onto the issue that has arisen. My wife wants to name our son after her brother, who passed a little over a year ago. Her brother, we'll call him T, was her only sibling and they were very close growing up, as they were only 2 years apart. However, her brother was not the most pleasant person. Her brother was a drug addict starting from age 14-15, he stole from everyone around him including myself and my wife, he was abusive to everyone of his partners and his child, and he served several years behind bars. T was also abusive to my wife, and her parents. He had a stay away order from our home because he broke in while we were away and stole our TV, my wife's jewelry box, and one of my hunting rifles. T passed last year in April from a drug overdose, and it affected my wife very deeply. It was her first major loss she has suffered, and she still attends therapy to help cope. When we found out we were having a boy, she immediately wanted the name to be T's name. I heavily disagreed, and I have offered many replacements, other family names like her father or grandfathers, but she will not budge. She wants our son to have the exact same name as her brother, first and middle. She has even gone as far to say that if we name him something else she will have it changed, or only call him by T. My final straw was when my wife ordered a blanket with T's name sewn into it for our son. I blew up, and I told her I was not naming our child after a drug addict who took advantage of everyone around him. My wife blew up at me, she screamed at me to leave, threatened to call the police if I didn't, she called me a piece of shit for talking about her dead brother like he was trash. I did leave, I told her I would attempt to speak to her again about this once we had both calmed down, and I apologized for speaking about T in a negative way. I'm getting calls nonstop from her family, calling me names for speaking about T and not wanting to honor him by naming our son after him. My family is on my side, her family is on her side, and my friends are split on the matter. So Reddit, strangers on the internet, I need your opinion on if I am indeed a massive asshole for not wanting this name for our child? TLDR; wife wants to name son after brother who was a drug addict and serial abuser, I do not. We cannot come to reason with one another, huge argument ensued. ​ VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE ​ Update July 24, 2022 Hello internet humans, not sure if any of you remember my first post a few months back but I just logged on and saw I had a few messages so I figured I would post an update, sorry in advance for the length. So, if you recall in my first post, me and my wife were expecting a baby boy in early July, and our conflict was occurring over my wife wanting to name our son after her late brother. We got into a huge fight, some names were called and threats were made, and I was led to this subreddit to ask advise and opinions of internet strangers. Well, a week after the post I sat down with my wife and we had a very long and difficult conversation. She broke down and admitted she was struggling more than she let on with the loss of her brother, and she told me she felt uncomfortable talking to me about it due to my feelings towards him and how he lived his life. I was devastated to say the least, I have never felt like such a horrible partner. I was selfish, I failed to see him as anything more than his mistakes, and I failed to support my wife through his death. It was a long talk with lots of tears, and we both agreed to be more open in the future and less judgmental. We started attending therapy together less than two weeks after that, and we have been going ever since once a week. It was rough at first, but it has helped tremendously in dealing with the bumps in the road of marriage. As for our son... we came to an agreement on a name after lots of long discussion, a first name we both adored and her brothers middle name, just spelled differently. A good compromise for both of us, and it was my sons own name that no one before him had carried, we were both happy. Then on July 3rd, 2022, my wife delivered a beautiful, healthy, 8lb baby GIRL! To say that we were shocked would be an understatement. My daughter came home the next day, and since then I am still in awe of how we created something so perfect. We didn't figure out a name until she was a week old, but I am happy to share that Eleanor Shae is what we came up. We are still adjusting to life with an infant, but so far it has been nothing short of amazing. Thank you for your past advice internet friends and strangers. TLDR; Wife & I made up, went to therapy, found a name that was a compromise and we loved for our son, had a surprise baby girl instead, we are overjoyed. NEW UPDATES ​ My wife is cheating on me. July 19, 2023 I am just here to vent my frustrations and scream into the void about my current situation. I can’t talk to anyone in my personal life about this. My wife is cheating on me. My wife is cheating and she has been for the past two months. I just don’t understand? I don’t even know where to start to begin to understand. We have a beautiful home, stable careers, we’re not financially struggling, no drug or alcohol abuse, we attend therapy together. Our daughter is healthy, perfect. Our 6 year wedding anniversary is 3 months from tomorrow. We’ve been together 11 years. I have spent the last two days examining everything about us under a microscope, trying to find a crack. Where I went wrong, when did she become unhappy, when did this life, OUR LIFE, become unsatisfactory for her?? For her to step outside of our marriage with some random guy she met on facebook?? For her to throw our family away? I just don’t understand. I found out on Monday, completely by chance. My daughters tablet was dead, I grabbed my wife’s iPad so she could watch her night time videos and go to sleep. Wife isn’t home right now, she’s on a trip and won’t be back for another 4 days. I keep hearing message notifications dinging on her iPad while my daughter has it, so I took it to turn it on silent only to see a mans name I didn’t recognize with a little winky face next to it. I went through EVERYTHING. They’ve done it all, met up, spent the night together, went on dates, they even have a romantic cruise planned for next month! The same cruise she told me was a bachelorette trip with one of her friends. All of these outings that I ENCOURAGED. She told me they were with friends, I encouraged her! I was so proud she was getting out there and becoming more social, since she expressed motherhood made her feel like a recluse. And after digging a little deeper, all of these new “friends” she’s been out with don’t even exist. All lies. They are characters she’s created to continue her relationship with this man. I feel like a complete and total idiot. I never second guessed a lie she fed me. I gave her my 100% trust. We’ve been doing couples therapy for a year, we communicate, we go on dates, we get each other gifts, our sex life was great, I never not even for a second would have suspected this. I don’t know how to confront her with this, I don’t want this. I don’t want to split up our home. But I know that this isn’t something therapy can fix, I know myself well enough to know I’ll never be able to trust her again. Do I just let go? Let her go be with this man who clearly makes her happier than I can? My entire existence is intertwined with her, how do I even begin to untangle that and separate? I have 4 more days to sit and overthink this. I genuinely don’t know whChina man? ADDITIONAL INFO Thank you everyone for the advice. I am trying to keep up with comments, and eventually will reply to everyone. Since posting and reading the comments I’ve been working on getting all the messages/pictures/videos into a folder on my personal computer. I went through our home cameras and found that she’s had him at our house several times, either picking her up or them swimming(amongst other things) in our pool together. The more I find the sicker I feel. I have a lot of phone calls to make in the next few days. And an appointment to get screened for STIs. I do want everyone to rest assured my daughter is mine. We had a DNA test done when she was an infant to scan for hereditary diseases I carry. I’m going to reach out to my parents and fill them in so they can babysit while I handle this for the next few days. ​ My wife is cheating on me, continued. Aug 14, 2023 I posted here almost a month ago venting my frustrations about discovering my wife’s affair, and I received a magnitude of comments and messages filled with advice and kind words. For that I thank everyone who took the time to comment or write me, and I’m sorry for anyone who related to my situation. I’m here with somewhat of an update, but mostly more venting. My life is upside down and it feels good to get it all out somewhere. Sorry if a lot of this is rambling, and sorry for the length. After making my post, I took the advice of everyone and gathered up all evidence and contacted lawyers in my area. I found a really great one and went ahead and started on divorce papers before my wife got home. I also got tested for any STIs, and told my parents/best friend about the situation. I took my daughter to my parents so I could have the alone time to mentally prepare myself to face my wife with this discovery. I rage cleaned a lot, and cried a lot those last two days before she got back. I packed some of her stuff, but then unpacked it and cried more. I had it planned to lay out all the screenshots along with divorce papers on our dining room table and just sit and wait for her, but I didn’t get the chance to do that. She was supposed to get home later in the afternoon on Sunday, but she ended up getting back around 6:30 that morning, she didn’t call or text in hopes of surprising me. I was up drinking coffee, and you guessed it, crying, when she walked into the house. I didn’t greet her, I just went and got the folders of evidence and divorce papers and gave them to her. I don’t remember anything she said that day, but I just said I knew, I wanted a divorce, and I would keep the house as it was in my name solely. It hurt a lot, I wanted to hug her, but also scream at her. Lots of tears from her, lots of yelling at me, I didn’t say anything. I told her we could discuss it at length with lawyers present once she accepted the situation and calmed down. I think someone called it “grey wall” in the comments of my last post, not entirely sure but I tried my best to do that and not show emotion/argue with her. It was really hard, hardest thing I hope I’ll ever have to do. She betrayed me, but I still felt awful making her cry. She left that day with some clothes/personal belongings and went to her parents, and my parents and best friend came to stay with me and my daughter. I had my lawyer arrange a meeting between us to discuss custody/belongings/money/everything else that following Tuesday. Well, Monday I got a call from my clinic to come in to review results of STI tests, and as it turns out her parting gift to me is HSV-2. I cannot describe in words how angry, sad, shattered I am. I’m still accepting it, I don’t think I have yet, but I am working on it. I know it’s common, very common, it’s not going to kill me, but it doesn’t make it suck any less. I joined a support group on Facebook, those people are great. Going into Tuesday with that knowledge was awful. I felt so much shame bringing that up in-front of not only her, but both of our lawyers. I knew if I tried to discuss it with her privately it wouldn’t go well, not with the amount of anger/sadness I had in my system. She never apologized, she was a different person that day. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of a complete stranger, no emotion whatsoever. Divorce wise everything is cut and dry. We separated finances, the house is mine, we are just waiting the 90 days for it to finalize. There were no objections on her end but one, she wants to terminate her parental rights over our daughter. I say “wants,” she IS terminating rights, at-least trying to. She doesn’t want her anymore. Our daughter, our baby. I was fucking blindsided. I’m still blindsided. My daughter is 1, but she loves her mama. Mama was her first word. She is ONE. It’s been 3 weeks, and the pain I have felt, the pain for my daughter, for my family, has been indescribable. I don’t know who she is anymore, I don’t know what changed or when it changed but it terrifies me. I feel like my entire life was pulled out from under me. I haven’t talked to her, per lawyers advice and my own fear of what I would say. She hasn’t seen our daughter, she told me that day she didn’t want to. She didn’t want any pictures from our home, any memories. Just her clothes and electronics. I don’t understand any of it, I don’t think I ever will. We have to go to court for her petition to terminate rights, and I don’t want to look at her. I just can’t accept this as reality right now, not after everything. I’m trying as hard as I possibly can to keep a positive outlook on everything and be strong for my family and my baby, but this has been so hard. I hope a year from now I can look back and say “I survived that,” but right now it feels impossible to even see next week. I’m not suicidal, so don’t take it as that, I’m just emotionally, mentally, physically demolished. Absolutely demolished. ​ This is a happy update. Apr 25, 2024 Hi there, for anyone who has messaged me and the loads of comments I have received regarding my past venting on this account, apologies first off. I genuinely kinda forgot I had it! Not much of a Reddit guy, but I’ve been getting into tiktok lately and saw a video about a super depressing Reddit story, and remembered my own super depressing Reddit story lol. It’s been around 8ish months since I posted here about my upside down situation, and a LOT of people messaged me in that time wanting to know how I was and what unfolded, and I really appreciate you strangers for all the kind messages. It genuinely means a lot, and I’m sorry I haven’t replied or anything, my life has been such a whirlwind these past few months! It’s hard to believe that was that long ago. To sum up the sad stuff, first off my divorce was finalized without any hiccups or hold ups, I’m still in the works of trying to sell our old house but in the meantime we moved to a new state. My ex is still in the process of petitioning for termination of parental rights, I’ve only seen her 3 times since moving and it has been to fly out for court. I was granted temporary full custody in the process, per her request and suggestion, and she was not mandated any visitation and has denied any offer of it. She has not seen my daughter in 7 months, she has requested not to. I don’t know what else she’s been up to or if she is still with her boyfriend or not, since the divorce it has been in best interest of my mental health to keep the contact as minimal as possible, and she has done the same. I have offered many chances for her to visit with my daughter, whether it be video call or flying out, and before we moved I asked weekly but it was always a no. Her parents still video call with my daughter and we’re hoping they can fly out over summer and spend some time with her. They’ve been cut off by my ex as well. I’m not sure what changed, but I can’t change it back, and I am accepting it mostly. I wish her well in all future endeavors. Now for the happy stuff that has happened! Firstly, I am a proud Arizonan now! Never saw myself moving here, but we have loved it so far. My parents packed up and came with us and I don’t think I’ve ever seen them so happy. My daughter is doing AMAZING. She will be 2 years old in July, and she is the smartest, funniest toddler I’ve ever met! She knows her ABCs, can count to 20 without help, loves animals and bugs especially, she thinks farts and a cow mooing are the definition of comedy, and she doesn’t know but she has been my biggest motivator to heal from this whole ordeal and be my best self. Like I genuinely don’t know how I helped make such an awesome kid, the more her personality grows the more in awe I am of just how cool she is. I could talk for days about her, so I’ll cap it here before this ends up being a Harry Potter length post lol. As for myself, I’m in therapy and have been throughout these 8 months, and I’m in a much better headspace. I’m working on getting back on-top of my health as I did put on about 30 stress pounds, I’ll get there eventually but I’m not sweating it too much. I have not dated or tried to, I don’t think I will anytime soon. I’ve adjusted to being a single parent pretty okay for the most part, I credit that to my family and friends more than anything because they have been a huge support system throughout this. There are still really hard moments that have happened and I know there are more to come, but I will roll with it just as I have this and hope to come out on top. This is not the end of the world for me even if it feels/felt like it in the moment. The sun will rise tomorrow, birds will chirp, and all will be well. Thanks to my therapist for that, those two sentences have helped me IMMENSELY. Sorry this ended up being so long, I should really pick up journaling. Maybe a blog or something lol. But thank you again to everyone who took the time to give me advice in the hardest time of my life, and thanks again if you read this. I genuinely appreciate it. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]