Treadmills For Home Small

... the main track thing. Small issue. I couldn't quite reach...to the entire row of treadmills, of which there were a ...?" Andy let out a small laugh. "You wouldn't be wrong ... from his confinement. The small dog Pokemon emerged from the ..., I let out a small chuckle. Withdrawing my hands, I ... about Oath. Let's go home." The Pokemon barked, in what ...of me, looming over my small form. Unable to help myself, ...

... Under Desk Treadmill Portable Small 2 in 1 Treadmills for Home Office Jogging Running... Easy Storage The Mobvoi Portable Small 2 in 1 Smart AI... to fit seamlessly into both home and office environments, offering a... store, making it ideal for small spaces. Virtual Training Capability: Connect ...

... to others, or running long treadmills while jumping hazards. "It wouldn't.... The girls playfully kicked Sirhc's small ball form around the street... would be kicked into a small vent and roll his way... air causing to harden for small intervals. While they dealt with ... that hair." Ikik dumped the small jar's contents against his face. ... anyone if they wanna go home. Even so… we as the ...

.... There were weight machines everywhere, treadmills, gym stuff, you know? Around... ease. Behind him was a small Female sinner(if the voice ... the thrall of going back home lingered in her mind. It ...

... the week does have a small gym, but treadmills are boring and it's hot... novice marathon plan, figured out home many miles need to be ...

... garden. The resort is also home to many creatures ranging from... bowl itself is kind of small and placed a little too... located in a small cabin near the main building. There's a few treadmills and stationary... bad aspects of it. The small exclusive size of the resort ... excellent that I came back home 8lbs heavier! The only other ...

..., and they DOWNGRADED their treadmills. These "new" treadmills are so hard on... they traded out perfectly great treadmills for the crap they put... do my cardio and go home. What don't these companies understand...!!! Dont Planet Fitness own the treadmills??? What was the point of...!!! I was going to a small womans gym. It closed down. ...

...don't deny me these drives home. I want to be ...actual gym with weights and treadmills. She wore her black hair... you have to go home and explain to your elders ... their Special Attack. A small crowd of people had gathered ...my daughter. She never came home from her journey. The authorities ...wait for the return trip home. "Break it. Cerulean and Ecruteak ...over to sit in a small section of a waiting room. ...

... disks, dumbbells, barbells, but no treadmills for some stupid, probably traditionalist... with Naobito after he came home. POV Makoto. Two hours... earlier. Naobito came home and called him to his... retire. The ride back home was as silent as ever, ... some more and relaxed. Small amounts of cursed energy appear ...at Naobito's flabbergasted expression with small pleasure. "I'm training my control," ...

... if I'd make it home. I thought about Danny, sitting... and when I came home. It was just as strange... bell, I practically ran home. Danny was already there, waiting...until we reached a small, comfortable space with a table ...equipment. There were weights, treadmills, impact pads and even obstacle .... I ran on treadmills until I got bored, lifted ...team." The office was small but professional. A desk, a ...

... if I'd make it home. I thought about Danny, sitting... and when I came home. It was just as strange... bell, I practically ran home. Danny was already there, waiting...until we reached a small, comfortable space with a table ...equipment. There were weights, treadmills, impact pads and even obstacle .... I ran on treadmills until I got bored, lifted ...team." The office was small but professional. A desk, a ...

... wasn’t able to view our home security cameras, Stephanie found that ...the home security app we were using ... I had access to my home monitoring system – he had requested ... did close up magic to small groups of 12 and played ... gym was excellent – bikes, steppers, treadmills, free weights, and a weight ...

..., she had seen her mother home wreck enough relationships to know... given she did this at home there was no one there... systems like exercise bikes and treadmills as well as calisthenics like... of patrolling on foot in small teams of three or as ...

... anything, okay? I will be home in about thirty minutes." "So... bony fish. "Mom, I am home!" I called from the doorway, ... that they could fill a small encyclopedia. Daniel had his own ... parents! I definitely had their home number in my old notebook..." "... a couple of retirees on treadmills and a few suspiciously well-built ... train every day. I walked home, barely holding back a stupid ...

... anything, okay? I will be home in about thirty minutes." "So... bony fish. "Mom, I am home!" I called from the doorway, ... that they could fill a small encyclopedia. Daniel had his own ... parents! I definitely had their home number in my old notebook..." "... a couple of retirees on treadmills and a few suspiciously well-built ... train every day. I walked home, barely holding back a stupid ...

... electrically powered machines such as treadmills, ellipticals, and stationary bikes. In... (sometimes just a mat or small accessories). From a sustainability perspective... workouts Whether smaller studios or home workouts reduce environmental impact Any...

... Instead of rows of treadmills and weight machines, the space...stipend. Not large, Not small" Marcus admitted, "but consistent. And,... started walking, not home, but toward the brick monolith ... size of a small man's forearm, irregular, pulsing with ... awake in her small apartment above the gym, the ... they have a home. The next morning, Darnelle returned ...She burst into a small clearing by the water's edge ...

... happens in cities large and small, but San Diego might have... people lifting weights, running on treadmills, and moving through workout classes ... that had someone from back home that just paid her credit ...

... can't. I have to head home." "Ooh, because you're—" "Grounded," he... something across the desk. A small card. Yuta picked it up... leaning against the desk. "Weights, treadmills, endurance rooms, open fields—everything ... wouldn't let him train at home—not after seeing him nearly... PM (Weekdays) Available Equipment: Weights, treadmills, combat dummies, open fields, obstacle ...

See specs, reviews & more on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GGBHBDF1/?tag=redditsatis-20 submitted by /u/kodyzyrym to r/BestBudgetFindss [link] [comments]

Preferably a home that is about the size of the room in the photos above with plenty of beds, baths, bowls, pianos, treadmills/bouncy castles lying around, I don't mind if it's glitched or cloned provided it's efficient, gets the job done quickly and has the same clean aesthetic/look as the pictures Leave a comment with examples of your home and I'll let you know if I'm interested! submitted by /u/StarTemsPines to r/adoptmehousetrading [link] [comments]

See specs, reviews & more on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FX33GJ5D/?tag=redditsatis-20 submitted by /u/kodyzyrym to r/BestBudgetFindss [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/grizzithal to r/priceglitch [link] [comments]

UPDATE: After research and reading the comments, I chose the Horizon Fitness Treadmill T202 for my compact home treadmill setup. Many people here recommended it for being sturdy and reliable in a small space. I’m excited to start using it for regular workouts. Thank's. Living in a small apartment and trying to stay a bit more active without turning my place into a full gym. I’ve been looking into getting a best compact treadmills that I can use for walking or light jogging, but there are so many options and it’s hard to tell what’s actually decent and what’s just marketing. Space is definitely the biggest issue for me so something that folds or stores easily would help a lot, hoping for your suggestions guys, thanks! submitted by /u/Meira-Zelasko to r/treadmills [link] [comments]

For people who are staying home all the time, sticking to a regular walking routine can be a challenge. You might no longer be able to visit your local gym or run outdoors like you used to. And here is where you need to invest in your own treadmill. And we’ve just handpicked the perfect brands and units that can suffice your fitness needs. Latest models at the moment: Best Treadmills for Home Gym Available On the Market Today - SOLE F63 - SOLE F89 - Sole 80 - Sole F85 Peloton Tread JTX Sprint 9 Pro Horizon 70 AT Xterra TR150 Sunny Health & Fitness Folding Treadmill - Best budget choice PROFORM CARBON TL You Need To Know These Before Buying -Types of treadmills There are two types of treadmills to choose from. The first is a manual treadmill. This treadmill begins moving just through the action of your feet. Manual treadmills require more effort from runners than motorized treadmills, but they are more cost-effective since they don’t require electricity. They tend to have fewer features, are less sturdy, and in general are better for walking rather than running. If you really want to get a leg up on your running game, I’d suggest going with a motorized treadmill. These are powered electrically with continuous horsepower, or CHP, which measures how much power the motor maintains throughout the workout. Most home treadmills have a CHP between 2.25 and 4.25. Motorized treadmills include more features, are suitable for longer training sessions, and include various settings for speed and incline to allow for more varied workouts. They also tend to be more expensive because of these features. -Space and running surface Now that you know which type of treadmill you’d like, the next step is to measure out your workout area. You want to make sure you’re not running out of space while you’re trying to run a mile. After you find the appropriate space, imagine your workouts. Do you see yourself taking relaxing walks in the morning, or are you more interested in breaking records with your sprints? This will help you decide on your running surface, or belt. The average size of a treadmill is 37 inches wide by 80 inches long. Belts can go up to 60 inches long, but the average treadmill belt is 55 inches long. For anyone 6’4” or shorter, a 55-inch belt will suit you for walking, running, or jogging. Someone who’s taller with a longer stride may prefer a 60-inch belt. You also want to think about the thickness of the belt. The thicker the belt, the longer it will last. Ultimately, belt thickness doesn’t affect your comfort level. What does affect comfort are the cushioning systems on the sides of the machine. Some belts are orthopedic and come with built-in cushioning to provide more shock absorption as you run. -Setting your budget Make sure you hit your personal best without breaking the bank. Here are a few things that contribute to an increase in price. First is the CHP. The higher the CHP, the more expensive the machine. Casual users who won’t put as much strain on the motor can use a treadmill with a lower CHP, while those looking for frequent, lengthy workouts will want more horsepower. The larger the motor, the more wear the belt can handle. Next is the console type. Modern treadmills now include interactive consoles that allow you to choose workouts, adjust settings, or even watch a TV show to pass the time. Larger displays are easier to read and can show more information at once, which usually means a higher selling price. -Choosing features One feature many modern treadmills have is app and wireless compatibility. This allows you to track your performance with corresponding smartphone apps, so if you’re competitive, you’ll always have stats to beat for your next run. If music helps you get into your groove, you may want to consider a treadmill with built-in speakers. Pre-loaded workouts are another popular feature. Treadmills with this option offer preset workouts to help you hit specific goals. Some even allow you to run through virtual sceneries, so when it’s the middle of winter, you can be running on a beach in Bali. Most treadmills come with a built-in shelf, which is perfect for propping up your phone if you want to watch your favorite show while getting your steps in. A couple of important standard features that come with all treadmills are automated incline and auto stop. If you want more of a challenge, use the automated incline. It keeps your workout interesting by varying inclines, makes exercise easier on your joints, allows for faster calorie burn, and supports better muscle definition. Last, but certainly not least, is the auto stop feature. Auto stop is an important safety feature, especially for those who don’t work out often, are elderly, or have pets or small children. It’s usually controlled by a key attached to your body with a lanyard. If you slip, the key disengages and the treadmill automatically turns off, keeping you and anyone nearby safe. You want to tread carefully when buying a treadmill, but hopefully this guide helps you really hit your stride. If you need more information, we’re always happy to help. submitted by /u/Beginning_Subject_80 to r/runninglifestyle [link] [comments]

For people who are staying home all the time, sticking to a regular walking routine can be a challenge. You might no longer be able to visit your local gym or run outdoors like you used to. And here is where you need to invest in your own treadmill. You Need To Know These Before Buying -Types of treadmills. There are two types of treadmills to choose from. The first is a manual treadmill. This treadmill begins moving just through the action of your feet. Manual treadmills require more effort from runners than motorized treadmills, but they are more cost-effective since they don’t require electricity. They tend to have fewer features, are less sturdy, and in general are better for walking rather than running. If you really want to get a leg up on your running game, I’d suggest going with a motorized treadmill. These are powered electrically with continuous horsepower, or CHP, which measures how much power the motor maintains throughout the workout. Most home treadmills have a CHP between 2.25 and 4.25. Motorized treadmills include more features, are suitable for longer training sessions, and include various settings for speed and incline to allow for more varied workouts. They also tend to be more expensive because of these features. -Space and running surface Now that you know which type of treadmill you’d like, the next step is to measure out your workout area. You want to make sure you’re not running out of space while you’re trying to run a mile. After you find the appropriate space, imagine your workouts. Do you see yourself taking relaxing walks in the morning, or are you more interested in breaking records with your sprints? This will help you decide on your running surface, or belt. The average size of a treadmill is 37 inches wide by 80 inches long. Belts can go up to 60 inches long, but the average treadmill belt is 55 inches long. For anyone 6’4” or shorter, a 55-inch belt will suit you for walking, running, or jogging. Someone who’s taller with a longer stride may prefer a 60-inch belt. You also want to think about the thickness of the belt. The thicker the belt, the longer it will last. Ultimately, belt thickness doesn’t affect your comfort level. What does affect comfort are the cushioning systems on the sides of the machine. Some belts are orthopedic and come with built-in cushioning to provide more shock absorption as you run. -Choosing features One feature many modern treadmills have is app and wireless compatibility. This allows you to track your performance with corresponding smartphone apps, so if you’re competitive, you’ll always have stats to beat for your next run. If music helps you get into your groove, you may want to consider a treadmill with built-in speakers. Pre-loaded workouts are another popular feature. Treadmills with this option offer preset workouts to help you hit specific goals. Some even allow you to run through virtual sceneries, so when it’s the middle of winter, you can be running on a beach in Bali. Most treadmills come with a built-in shelf, which is perfect for propping up your phone if you want to watch your favorite show while getting your steps in. A couple of important standard features that come with all treadmills are automated incline and auto stop. If you want more of a challenge, use the automated incline. It keeps your workout interesting by varying inclines, makes exercise easier on your joints, allows for faster calorie burn, and supports better muscle definition. Last, but certainly not least, is the auto stop feature. Auto stop is an important safety feature, especially for those who don’t work out often, are elderly, or have pets or small children. It’s usually controlled by a key attached to your body with a lanyard. If you slip, the key disengages and the treadmill automatically turns off, keeping you and anyone nearby safe. And we’ve just handpicked the perfect brands and units that can suffice your fitness needs. Latest models at the moment: Best Treadmills for Home Gym Available On the Market Today Sole 80 - Sole F85 - SOLE F63 - SOLE F89 Peloton Tread JTX Sprint 9 Pro Horizon 70 AT Xterra TR150 Sunny Health & Fitness Folding Treadmill - Best budget choice PROFORM CARBON TL You want to tread carefully when buying a treadmill, but hopefully this guide helps you really hit your stride. If you need more information, we’re always happy to help. submitted by /u/Beginning_Subject_80 to r/beginnerrunning [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Special-Courage-9634 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes Wife of 25 years seems to avoid spending time with me and I’m not sure how to fix this Trigger Warnings: struggles with mental health Mood Spoilers: sweet, uplifting ---- Original Post: November 23, 2025 Wife of 25 years seems to avoid spending time with me and I’m not sure how to fix this I just found the podcast and that brought me here. Using a throwaway, and I’ve changed a few details to keep things anonymous. For about the last year, I’ve (50M) been feeling like my wife (48F) of 25 years doesn’t want to spend any time with me. If we do spend time together, it’s practical like running errands. But if I suggest something one-on-one, it’s almost always a no. Some examples: -I asked her to go on a walk. She said she was tired from work. Later that evening, she was on the treadmill “getting her steps in.” -A Broadway show was coming to town. I asked if she wanted to go, and she said she heard it wasn’t very good and maybe we should wait for the next one. A few weeks later, she texted me at work that her friend had an extra ticket, and she was going that night. -A friend mentioned it was too bad we couldn’t use their lake cabin. I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out he offered it to us the weekend before, and my wife told him we were busy. We weren’t. -I suggested watching a game together (we’re both fans of the team). She said she wasn’t in the mood. When I went into our room at halftime, she was asleep with the game playing on her tablet. I should add she makes time for her friends, and we still go out with friends and spend time with our adult kids together, but if it’s just us, she shuts it down. I brought this up to her and told her I was feeling pretty lonely. Initially she brushed it off and said that couples don’t always do everything together. When I pressed and said we almost never do anything just the two of us, she was open to talk about it, and we agreed we both needed to try to engage more and communicate better. It's been a couple of months, and we have been taking the dogs for a walk each night, and I have tried to step up effort on my side by initiating more in-depth conversations, buying her little gifts and doing acts of service (both are her love languages). Things have gotten a little better, but it feels a little routine, like each night there is a schedule of eat, walk the dogs, spend 15-30 minutes in the same room together and she finds a reason to retreat. I have tried to plan a couple dates and to her credit so has she, but she has found reasons to cancel or reschedule at the last minute. Finally, what drove me to posting. We were going on a weekend trip with several other couples. Before we left, I wrote her a note telling her much I was looking forward to spending the weekend with her and how much I appreciated and loved her. I left it in her car in the morning with some of her favorite candy. I didn’t hear from her all day and when she got home, I got a “Thanks for the note, that was sweet. Are you ready to leave?” During the weekend away when we were with our friends, she seemed happy and engaged but when we were on our own, she wasn’t interested in doing much but scrolling on social media. I probably set my expectations too high for the weekend, but I was really disappointed by how it all went and it reinforced my feelings. It’s like in my dating days when I was into someone more than they were into me. I want to head a question off by saying that I don’t think she is cheating, there are zero indications of that. Also, I have cut out a few other conversations to keep this short, but they were similar to the initial one. Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do I even approach this again without it turning into a fight or another brush-off? Edit: I want to address a recurring theme in the comments about the possibility of my wife cheating. I am as sure as a person can reasonably be that this is not the case. I’d explain more, but going into the details would risk hurting the anonymity of this post. I also want to be clear that everything I’ve written is from my perspective. She could absolutely write her own truthful version that includes things I did or didn’t do that contributed to where we are now. She is a good person with a genuinely good heart, and no matter how things play out, I will always love her. Thank you to everyone who has offered perspectives and suggestions you have given some good ideas and a lot for me to think about. I appreciate it. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Have you tried the opposite? Being unavailable? Maybe going away on a trip for a week so she has an opportunity to miss? OOP: I appreciate the suggestion. I travel pretty regularly for work, so she gets 2 to 5 consecutive nights alone once or twice a month. Commenter 2: Before this problem started about a year ago what were the biggest issues in your marriage? Can you recall? OOP: I feel like the biggest problem is and always has been direct communication when something is bothering us, but until recently we always made time for each other. Honestly listening to the podcast is what made me decide I needed to have a direct conversation about how I was feeling. When we talk about this specifically, she says “it’s normal” or “it’s our season in life”. Commenter 3: Are you pulling your weight within the house – I can tell you that as weird as it sounds having someone who just comes home and sits there and doesn’t do anything to help me with house is a huge turn off. Always has been. My husband has never gotten it. OOP: I would like to think I am and it feels like generally work around the house is 50/50. That being said it is probably worth a conversation to get her perspective. Commenter 4: Do you have an active social life? Hobbies, small friend groups? Or is she your whole social world? It’s important to be an individual as well. If you are relying on her, and always have, she may feel like she’s responsible for entertaining you and that’s not fulfilling to her as being responsible for a person is not usually relaxing. OOP: I have a group of friends that gets together once a week for drinks and about once a month for other activities. We also plan dinners/parties with our spouses 2 or 3 times a year. She does plan most of our couple outings with friends outside this group.   Update #1: November 24, 2025 (next day) Update: Wife of 25 years seems to avoid spending time with me and I’m not sure how to fix this I didn’t think I would have an update this soon but after reading the replies I decided I needed to have another talk with her. I appreciate everyone who took the time to reply. The things we discussed that weren’t wrong: -Division of household chores -Me being too needy -Her carrying the social load Thank you to everyone who brought up menopause/perimenopause and suggested I talk to my wife about it. We had a really good conversation, and she shared that she’s been struggling with perimenopause. I knew it was happening, but I didn’t understand the impact it was having on her day-to-day life. She’s been getting (and giving) a lot of support from a group of friends who are going through the same thing, the same group of women we traveled with. A lot of her emotional energy is tied up there right now and she hasn’t shared as much with me because she is getting the support she needs from them. I am glad she has people to lean on. She said she is physically and mentally drained a lot of the time. Most nights she feels ready for bed right after dinner but doesn’t usually get a good night’s sleep. She has been working with her Dr to try and find some relief, but they haven’t been able to find the right solution yet. Hearing all of this gave me some new insight, and I realize I have some research and learning to do so I can understand what she’s experiencing and support her better. She spends a lot of her day feeling like she is acting normal when she doesn’t feel normal. By the time she gets home she doesn’t have the energy to act anymore. The thought of this weekend really overwhelmed her, once she got there, she just didn’t have much energy for anything beyond the group activities, and scrolling TikTok was her way to shut her brain off and recharge. She didn’t really understand how everything was affecting me until I brought it up a couple of months ago, and she’s really been trying since then. From her perspective I seemed fine and she wasn’t getting the feeling like there was something wrong. I’m a pretty stoic guy most of the time and it’s very common for people to misread my mood. I can’t count on my wife to read my facial expressions and body language; I need to use my words. None of this fixes our problems and we still have things to work through together. We’ve both taken each other for granted, made assumptions and haven’t communicated well, and that’s something we need to change. For now, we’re trying to focus on better communication and being patient with each other, and we’re planning to try a counseling session or two to see how it goes. Thank you all again for the feedback, questions and support. Edit: Thanks for all the recommended resources and additional feedback. I am feeling more hopeful than I have in a while. I won’t be commenting anymore but I really do appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on this and the original post. Top Comments Commenter 1: It’s nice to see people putting in the effort to figure out what’s wrong, and seek self-improvement/change for the better. Commenter 2: You two sound like an awesome couple though, crossing my fingers you two can work through it. Communication is so important yet so hard, even with the people we have around us for decades. You are both amazing for acknowledging what's wrong, communicating it and working on it. Commenter 3: Such a hopeful update, congrats. Yeah peri is brutal. My husband and I both read “The Menopause Decoder” which is written for men and applies to peri as well. Highly recommend. It’s astonishing how much peri affects women, our lives, our bodies, our relationships yes how little it’s talked about - even within our most important relationships. Glad you’ve opened the door to that communication.   Update #2: February 5, 2026 (3.5 months later) Update 2 - The one no one was asking for: Wife of 25 years seems to avoid spending time with me and I’m not sure how to fix this In my last two posts, which you can see in this profile, I (50M) shared I started feeling really lonely in my 25-year marriage to my wife (48F) because she rarely wanted to spend one-on-one time with me, even though she still made time for friends, group outings, and family activities. I tried to reconnect through conversations, planning dates, and spending time together, but she often declined, canceled, or seemed disengaged. After posting and getting feedback, we had a deeper conversation and she shared that she has been struggling with perimenopause, which has left her exhausted, not sleeping well, and emotionally drained. We both acknowledged we had taken each other for granted, and while nothing was magically fixed, we planned on working on communicating better, being more patient to try counseling. Now for the update. A couple of months later, here’s where we are. Things are better… not perfect, but better. We ended up doing a few counseling sessions, and honestly, they helped more than I expected. I went in expecting to be told I was wrong by a licensed professional, and while that did happen a little, it was really good. Having a neutral third party helped both of us talk through our perspectives and helped us understand each other’s feelings. I’ve also done a lot of reading about perimenopause. I am not an expert, but I am certain that it sucks. There are good days and bad days. When my wife needs to go to bed at 7:00 PM, I let her. Sometimes it’s still lonely, but I don’t blame her for that loneliness anymore. Understanding what she’s going through changed how I see those moments. In my first post, I talked about how most of our one-on-one time felt like practical errands. My wife explained she didn’t need help grocery shopping; she was inviting me because she wanted to spend time with me. That helped me see those outings in a much more positive way. As for the incidents where it felt like she didn’t want to do things with me, that situation was partly real but also partly built up in my head. When you stack up grievances over a year without talking about them, the total feels way worse than each individual moment. That doesn’t excuse crappy behavior on either side, but I can acknowledge I played a role in letting resentment build instead of addressing things earlier. We’ve gone on several dates over the last few months. The thing that prompted me to post this update happened last night. I’ve been having a rough month at work with a lot of extra hours. Last night I texted her that I was going to be late again. She texted back saying she was sorry that I was stuck at work and told me she was making a dinner reservation for this weekend so we could catch up. Her taking that initiative really made me realize how far we’ve come. We’ve also added some practical things to help us stay connected. We have a weekly “staff meeting” where we go over the upcoming week, plan dinners, and talk about positives and opportunities in our relationship. It sounds cheesy, but it actually works. Since my wife tends to lose energy as the day goes on, our dinner dates have often turned into breakfast or brunch dates. We’ve also discovered that our local theater has movies starting as early as 9:30 AM, which turns out to be a good date time for us. We’re still figuring things out, but we’re communicating better, being more intentional, and giving each other a lot more grace. Thanks again to everyone who shared advice, experiences, and resources on my last posts even those who think every relationship problem has only three possible causes: cheating, about to cheat, or cheating with someone who is probably also cheating. It helped a lot. Relevant / Top Comments Commenter 1: You worked on communicating better and it helped the both of you so much. It is moving, and really nice to read. I hope it will encourage others to open up and to discuss, which is key, most of the time, if you care about the relationship. I wish the two of you the best! Commenter 2: This is very wholesome! A really good example of how couples therapy can work - both individuals communicating and clarifying what was unclear before. Finding ways to work around her energy levels proactively is excellent. Lots of films, theatre productions etc are marketed as evening activities but matinees can sometimes be less expensive! I am also a big advocate for older couples, especially when the kids have flown the nest, to go on dates with each other. It really rekindled my parents' relationship since they retired. Commenter 3: He wrote if she needs to go to bed at 7 “I let her”. Ummm what? OOP: This was bad phrasing on my part. My wife absolutely does not need permission to go to bed. What I mean is that I try not to take it personally or assume she’s avoiding me, and I try to be intentional about not making her feel like she has to stay up just for me.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

For people who are staying home all the time, sticking to a regular walking routine can be a challenge. You might no longer be able to visit your local gym or run outdoors like you used to. And here is where you need to invest in your own treadmill. And we’ve just handpicked the perfect brands and units that can suffice your fitness needs. Latest models at the moment: Best Treadmills for Home Gym Available On the Market Today Sole 80 - Sole F85 - SOLE F63 - SOLE F89 Peloton Tread JTX Sprint 9 Pro Horizon 70 AT Xterra TR150 Sunny Health & Fitness Folding Treadmill PROFORM CARBON TL You Need To Know These Before Buying Types of treadmills There are two types of treadmills to choose from. The first is a manual treadmill. This treadmill begins moving just through the action of your feet. Manual treadmills require more effort from runners than motorized treadmills, but they are more cost-effective since they don’t require electricity. They tend to have fewer features, are less sturdy, and in general are better for walking rather than running. If you really want to get a leg up on your running game, I’d suggest going with a motorized treadmill. These are powered electrically with continuous horsepower, or CHP, which measures how much power the motor maintains throughout the workout. Most home treadmills have a CHP between 2.25 and 4.25. Motorized treadmills include more features, are suitable for longer training sessions, and include various settings for speed and incline to allow for more varied workouts. They also tend to be more expensive because of these features. Space and running surface Now that you know which type of treadmill you’d like, the next step is to measure out your workout area. You want to make sure you’re not running out of space while you’re trying to run a mile. After you find the appropriate space, imagine your workouts. Do you see yourself taking relaxing walks in the morning, or are you more interested in breaking records with your sprints? This will help you decide on your running surface, or belt. The average size of a treadmill is 37 inches wide by 80 inches long. Belts can go up to 60 inches long, but the average treadmill belt is 55 inches long. For anyone 6’4” or shorter, a 55-inch belt will suit you for walking, running, or jogging. Someone who’s taller with a longer stride may prefer a 60-inch belt. You also want to think about the thickness of the belt. The thicker the belt, the longer it will last. Ultimately, belt thickness doesn’t affect your comfort level. What does affect comfort are the cushioning systems on the sides of the machine. Some belts are orthopedic and come with built-in cushioning to provide more shock absorption as you run. Setting your budget Make sure you hit your personal best without breaking the bank. Here are a few things that contribute to an increase in price. First is the CHP. The higher the CHP, the more expensive the machine. Casual users who won’t put as much strain on the motor can use a treadmill with a lower CHP, while those looking for frequent, lengthy workouts will want more horsepower. The larger the motor, the more wear the belt can handle. Next is the console type. Modern treadmills now include interactive consoles that allow you to choose workouts, adjust settings, or even watch a TV show to pass the time. Larger displays are easier to read and can show more information at once, which usually means a higher selling price. Choosing features One feature many modern treadmills have is app and wireless compatibility. This allows you to track your performance with corresponding smartphone apps, so if you’re competitive, you’ll always have stats to beat for your next run. If music helps you get into your groove, you may want to consider a treadmill with built-in speakers. Pre-loaded workouts are another popular feature. Treadmills with this option offer preset workouts to help you hit specific goals. Some even allow you to run through virtual sceneries, so when it’s the middle of winter, you can be running on a beach in Bali. Most treadmills come with a built-in shelf, which is perfect for propping up your phone if you want to watch your favorite show while getting your steps in. A couple of important standard features that come with all treadmills are automated incline and auto stop. If you want more of a challenge, use the automated incline. It keeps your workout interesting by varying inclines, makes exercise easier on your joints, allows for faster calorie burn, and supports better muscle definition. Last, but certainly not least, is the auto stop feature. Auto stop is an important safety feature, especially for those who don’t work out often, are elderly, or have pets or small children. It’s usually controlled by a key attached to your body with a lanyard. If you slip, the key disengages and the treadmill automatically turns off, keeping you and anyone nearby safe. You want to tread carefully when buying a treadmill, but hopefully this guide helps you really hit your stride. If you need more information, we’re always happy to help. submitted by /u/One-Veterinarian2215 to r/ultrarunning [link] [comments]

Quick update after reading through everyone’s comments and doing a bunch of my own digging: I ended up going with a NordicTrack treadmill for my apartment and so far I’m happy with how sturdy and quiet it feels and it folds up nicely when I’m done using it. Really appreciate all the real user perspectives here that helped me decide what would actually get used instead of collecting dust. hey everyone, hoping to get some real advice here. i live in a small apartment and lately ive been trying to walk more instead of sitting all day. gym membership didnt last long honestly, and going outside isnt always realistic where i live. so now im looking into getting a treadmill i can actually store away when not in use. im specifically trying to figure out what the best foldable treadmill is for someone who just wants to walk daily, not train for marathons or anything intense. ive watched a few videos and read random reviews but it all starts to sound the same after a while. my main concerns are noise, stability while walking, and whether these foldable ones actually hold up after a few months. also wondering if the walking area feels cramped or if thats only an issue when running. for those of you using one at home, does it feel sturdy enough or kind of flimsy? is it annoying to fold and unfold every day? would you buy the same one again or try something else? i just dont want to end up with something that collects dust after a few weeks. any honest experiences or things i should watch out for would really help. thanks in advance. submitted by /u/Inia-Pavaskar to r/homefitness [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Special-Courage-9634 posting in r/TwoHotTakes Concluded as per OOP 1 update - Medium Original - 23rd November 2025 Update - 24th November 2025 ​ Wife of 25 years seems to avoid spending time with me and I’m not sure how to fix this ​ I just found the podcast and that brought me here. Using a throwaway, and I’ve changed a few details to keep things anonymous. For about the last year, I’ve (50M) been feeling like my wife (48F) of 25 years doesn’t want to spend any time with me. If we do spend time together, it’s practical like running errands. But if I suggest something one-on-one, it’s almost always a no. Some examples: -I asked her to go on a walk. She said she was tired from work. Later that evening, she was on the treadmill “getting her steps in.” -A Broadway show was coming to town. I asked if she wanted to go, and she said she heard it wasn’t very good and maybe we should wait for the next one. A few weeks later, she texted me at work that her friend had an extra ticket, and she was going that night. -A friend mentioned it was too bad we couldn’t use their lake cabin. I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out he offered it to us the weekend before, and my wife told him we were busy. We weren’t. -I suggested watching a game together (we’re both fans of the team). She said she wasn’t in the mood. When I went into our room at halftime, she was asleep with the game playing on her tablet. I should add she makes time for her friends, and we still go out with friends and spend time with our adult kids together, but if it’s just us, she shuts it down. I brought this up to her and told her I was feeling pretty lonely. Initially she brushed it off and said that couples don’t always do everything together. When I pressed and said we almost never do anything just the two of us, she was open to talk about it, and we agreed we both needed to try to engage more and communicate better. It's been a couple of months, and we have been taking the dogs for a walk each night, and I have tried to step up effort on my side by initiating more in-depth conversations, buying her little gifts and doing acts of service (both are her love languages). Things have gotten a little better, but it feels a little routine, like each night there is a schedule of eat, walk the dogs, spend 15-30 minutes in the same room together and she finds a reason to retreat. I have tried to plan a couple dates and to her credit so has she, but she has found reasons to cancel or reschedule at the last minute. Finally, what drove me to posting. We were going on a weekend trip with several other couples. Before we left, I wrote her a note telling her much I was looking forward to spending the weekend with her and how much I appreciated and loved her. I left it in her car in the morning with some of her favorite candy. I didn’t hear from her all day and when she got home, I got a “Thanks for the note, that was sweet. Are you ready to leave?” During the weekend away when we were with our friends, she seemed happy and engaged but when we were on our own, she wasn’t interested in doing much but scrolling on social media. I probably set my expectations too high for the weekend, but I was really disappointed by how it all went and it reinforced my feelings. It’s like in my dating days when I was into someone more than they were into me. I want to head a question off by saying that I don’t think she is cheating, there are zero indications of that. Also, I have cut out a few other conversations to keep this short, but they were similar to the initial one. Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do I even approach this again without it turning into a fight or another brush-off? Edit: I want to address a recurring theme in the comments about the possibility of my wife cheating. I am as sure as a person can reasonably be that this is not the case. I’d explain more, but going into the details would risk hurting the anonymity of this post. I also want to be clear that everything I’ve written is from my perspective. She could absolutely write her own truthful version that includes things I did or didn’t do that contributed to where we are now. She is a good person with a genuinely good heart, and no matter how things play out, I will always love her. Thank you to everyone who has offered perspectives and suggestions you have given some good ideas and a lot for me to think about. I appreciate it. ​ Comments ​ Glittering-Lychee629 Before this problem started about a year ago what were the biggest issues in your marriage? Can you recall? OOP: I feel like the biggest problem is and always has been direct communication when something is bothering us, but until recently we always made time for each other. Honestly listening to the podcast is what made me decide I needed to have a direct conversation about how I was feeling. When we talk about this specifically, she says “it’s normal” or “it’s our season in life”. Glittering-Lychee629 I would try couples counseling. Since communication is a core issue from before her feelings could be coming from any number of things. If she is unwilling to try that then I think you can confirm she has checked out. But maybe she checked out due to unresolved things years in the making. AccomplishedChart873 Do you have an active social life? Hobbies, small friend groups? Or is she your whole social world? It’s important to be an individual as well. If you are relying on her, and always have, she may feel like she’s responsible for entertaining you and that’s not fulfilling to her as being responsible for a person is not usually relaxing. OOP: I have a group of friends that gets together once a week for drinks and about once a month for other activities. We also plan dinners/parties with our spouses 2 or 3 times a year. She does plan most of our couple outings with friends outside this group. ​ Update - 1 day later ​ I didn’t think I would have an update this soon but after reading the replies I decided I needed to have another talk with her. I appreciate everyone who took the time to reply. The things we discussed that weren’t wrong: -Division of household chores -Me being too needy -Her carrying the social load Thank you to everyone who brought up menopause/perimenopause and suggested I talk to my wife about it. We had a really good conversation, and she shared that she’s been struggling with perimenopause. I knew it was happening, but I didn’t understand the impact it was having on her day-to-day life. She’s been getting (and giving) a lot of support from a group of friends who are going through the same thing, the same group of women we traveled with. A lot of her emotional energy is tied up there right now and she hasn’t shared as much with me because she is getting the support she needs from them. I am glad she has people to lean on. She said she is physically and mentally drained a lot of the time. Most nights she feels ready for bed right after dinner but doesn’t usually get a good night’s sleep. She has been working with her Dr to try and find some relief, but they haven’t been able to find the right solution yet. Hearing all of this gave me some new insight, and I realize I have some research and learning to do so I can understand what she’s experiencing and support her better. She spends a lot of her day feeling like she is acting normal when she doesn’t feel normal. By the time she gets home she doesn’t have the energy to act anymore. The thought of this weekend really overwhelmed her, once she got there, she just didn’t have much energy for anything beyond the group activities, and scrolling TikTok was her way to shut her brain off and recharge. She didn’t really understand how everything was affecting me until I brought it up a couple of months ago, and she’s really been trying since then. From her perspective I seemed fine and she wasn’t getting the feeling like there was something wrong. I’m a pretty stoic guy most of the time and it’s very common for people to misread my mood. I can’t count on my wife to read my facial expressions and body language; I need to use my words. None of this fixes our problems and we still have things to work through together. We’ve both taken each other for granted, made assumptions and haven’t communicated well, and that’s something we need to change. For now, we’re trying to focus on better communication and being patient with each other, and we’re planning to try a counseling session or two to see how it goes. Thank you all again for the feedback, questions and support. Edit: Thanks for all the recommended resources and additional feedback. I am feeling more hopeful than I have in a while. I won’t be commenting anymore but I really do appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on this and the original post. ​ Comments ​ SumpthingHappening It’s nice to see people putting in the effort to figure out what’s wrong, and seek self improvement/change for the better. Ok-Rise3638 This is so refreshing to see on here tbh. Most posts end with someone doubling down or making excuses but you actually listened and had an honest conversation with your wife The perimenopause piece makes so much sense - sounds like she's been dealing with a lot while trying to keep it together. Good on you for recognizing you need to learn more about what she's going through instead of just expecting her to explain everything Hope the counseling helps you both get back on track AristocraticPallor You two sound like an awesome couple though, crossing my fingers you two can work through it. Communication is so important yet so hard, even with the people we have around us for decades. You are both amazing for acknowledging what's wrong, communicating it and working on it. ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

Hi. So I heard y'all want disclosure? Alright, hope you have time for this because there's a LOT. Grab a coffee or maybe get comfy with a pillow somewhere. I've been watching the news and hearing a lot of things I know to be true shockingly being talked about openly by some higher ups in a documentary so I figured what the hell? You can call me Rhea. Not my real name obviously, but it will do. A little about me... I spent about eight years in the military to pay for college and then another decade plus in a part of the US intelligence component that does not officially exist. On paper I worked for a boring sounding office in a department most people have never heard of. In reality it was a compartment inside a compartment where the odd stuff of a certain nature got routed. My actual specialty is electro-optics. Lasers, sensors, EO imaging systems, the math and hardware behind how we detect things at a distance and, in some cases, put energy on them. That is what I trained in, what I did most of my serious work on once I was off the deployment treadmill. So when I say I know something about directed energy weapons and weird sensor returns, that's not "I heard this from a friend of a friend". That was my day job. Most of my career was boring in the way dangerous jobs are boring. Long days in windowless rooms. Iraq and Afghanistan in the early years, doing the usual mix of SIGINT and HUMINT support. Phone records, pattern-of-life workups, building target packets on people who’d never know my name but might notice a drone overhead later. After I got out of uniform I slid over to contractor work, then got pulled into the permanent government side. For a long time my world was very normal: counterterrorism, sanctions evasion, shady cargo going through weird ports, stuff like that. After that, foreign missile tests and what you have probably seen described publicly as space domain awareness. Basically, watching dots move around the sky and trying to decide whose dots they were and what they were doing. The weird part started when I was detailed to a small interagency working group looking at what was called "anomalous aerospace and undersea systems". Translation: things detected and showing up on sensors that did not match any known platform, did not behave like clutter, and did not go away when you changed radar modes or swapped optical systems. I was there because I understood both sides of the equation: the physics of the sensors and the intelligence context. You get taught very quickly to treat anything unexplained as a glitch, a calibration issue, operator error, software artifacts, anything that keeps your world tidy. You get used to hearing “weird glitch” as a catch-all. Except after a while you notice some of those “glitches” kept showing up, across different systems, different countries, decades apart. Same behaviors. Same basic locations. Same signature that never quite fits. At some point you either admit there is a real pattern or you drive yourself crazy trying not to see it. If you are useful and you start asking the wrong questions for long enough, someone eventually pulls you aside, takes you to a SCIF, takes your phone, has you sign your life away again, and shows you the next layer of the onion. This onion goes so deep I doubt that even after years of briefings I've been exposed to anything below a few layers. Even still most of this is purposely kept off NIPR and JWICS and is done in person. That is where I learned about most of what you're interested in here and what seems to be bubbling to the surface in the news lately. That when I learned about what we call The Council. Yes aliens, and I suspect you're not likely to see a lot of what I know mentioned even by some who know it who have begun speaking out for reasons I'll get into later. I've never met them face to face. Everything I know about them is from briefings, documents, and one secure video session that I honestly wish I had skipped. But it lines up with too many independent data points to just shrug off as somebody’s pet theory. The basic story is this. Earth was noticed roughly 2 billion years ago, long before anything walked around on land. Not because we’re special, but because we tripped a sensor. Or rather life tripped their sensors. You see, The Council is not a single species. It is a collective of several advanced interstellar maybe even interdimensional civilizations that run long term surveys of stars and planets the way we run spy satellites. Huge distributed arrays of instruments, working together, watching thousands of star systems at once, for millions of years at a time. Their gear probably makes the James Webb telescope look like a kid's backyard telescope. About 2 billion years ago those instruments picked up biosignatures here, chemical fingerprints in the atmosphere that meant something was alive here. Atmospheric composition like free oxygen and methane, spectral fingerprints, chemical disequilibria that scream “there’s metabolism happening down there!" you know, the basics. At that point Earth went into a database as “interesting, revisit later”. Standard procedure for them when a world looks promising is pretty boring from their point of view. They send automated probes. Not big crewed ships like you see in sci-fi movies, just small, tough, very smart machines. Those probes come in, mostly target the oceans, and set up self replicating facilities on the seafloor. Those facilities use local materials to build more facilities, more probes, craft that can operate underwater, in the air, in near space, and eventually avatars that can interact with whatever life evolves. These biological or rather, biomechanical avatars are what some people who claim to have been abducted have likely experienced. Though they do have what we would call ASI, these beings are not gods, they are technology and they aren't perfect, they make mistakes, glitch out, etc. The reason they base all of that underwater for a simple reason. The bottom of an ocean does not care about ice ages, political empires, climate swings or wars. Temperatures and pressures change slowly over what long periods of time. Its a fairly stable environment and for much of human history has been mostly inacessible. Speaking of time, we Earth humans tend to think in terms of nothing longer than the current human lifespan. And when pondering non-human intelligence we like to think in terms of deep space, distance and light years but we seldom consider the lifespan and concept of time for a post-biological species could be quite different than outs. Only our most astute thinkers in the realms of geology, palentology and cosmology think in terms of millions or billions of years. Geologic epochs, cosmological history. That is childsplay for The Council which has a different concept of time, more concerned with deep time, millions of years at a stretch. As such their infrastructure is designed for that. So yes, a lot of the TMOs (transmedium objects) and impossible accelerations you have heard about are just their hardware doing its job. Maintenance, observation, sampling. Nothing heroic. The warp bubble/Alcubierre effect was probably mastered by them before our solar system even existed. It's old tech for them. Kinda like the wheel is for us. Also, no, we are not the center of anyone’s universe. There are about a billion planets in our galaxy that are more or less like Earth. Some just have microbes. Some have more complex life. A smaller subset of those have or once had civilizations. We are just one more entry, a fairly recent one in cosmological terms, in a very large survey. Once early humans started doing interesting things, we moved from “planet with life” to “planet with potential”. They have watched this same story unfold in slightly different ways around a thousand times from what I understand. Chemistry leads to biology, biology creates technology. Tool use, language, agriculture, cities, industry, energy, space travel. Somewhere in there you always hit the same fork. Either the species figures out how not to blow itself to pieces with the energy densities it increasingly has access to such as nuclear fission, nuclear fusion, anti-matter and more exotic matter/energy, or it wipes itself out. Our situation worried them. We are a little paradox: extremely good at cooperation and also extremely good at organized violence. Our aggression stood out. Cooperation plus violence isn’t unique, but we’re very, very good at both. And once you get to things like nuclear power, that combo tends to end very badly. They'd seen plenty of variations of that play out over at least a few billion years. About 10,000 years ago our trajectory towards that became clear and there was a major argument inside the Council about what, if anything, to do with us. One side said the odds favored self destruction once we discovered and weaponized atomic level technologies. The other side argued we were worth saving or at least worth understanding better. The compromise was an experiment. One which has ramifications as to why all of this has been hidden for so long. Roughly 65,000 humans were removed from Earth and relocated to what is basically a preserve on a planet around the star you know as 82 Eridani. Internally we called those people Erids. That star is in our catalogs if you feel like looking it up, but the details of the target planet are not public for obvious reasons. The Erids were started in a kind of controlled paradise. Their world has large dispenser systems that can produce whatever basic material needs they have. Food, clothing, tools, building materials, entire strucures for habitation. Think Star Trek replicators scaled up and wired into the environment. In that setup nobody starves, nobody is homeless in the way we understand it, nobody spends their life chasing money just to meet needs. This was just the Erids natural reality. The point from The Council's view was to remove material scarcity from the equation and see what humans do and achieve when they are not spending most of their energy bashing each other over the head over resources. Meanwhile, the rest of us stayed here on the control planet, dealing with scarcity, ownership, money, hoarding, and the rise of socio-political systems based on scarcity: all of the things that define Earth civilization. The result, according to what we were briefed, is that the Erids are now around 5,000 years ahead of us technologically, averaged out. Same species, same basic biology, same starting point, completely different trajectory because of conditions. Nature vs nurture on a cosmic scale. For most of their history they Erids thought they were native to that world. They only found out the truth roughly a century ago in our time. They learned that they were uplifted, that their ancestors were taken from Earth, that they have cousins here. Once they knew that, some of them started coming back to visit the original branch. This is where their history intersects the some of the UFO stories you know. The “aliens” that look almost exactly human are just that. Human. They are not hybrids, not clones, not secretly angels or demons. They are Erids, born around another star, showing up here after being given a 10,000 year head start. They have in some cases met with leaders of certain countries and at least two U.N. Secretary Generals (both deceased). Now we get to why this has been buried for 80 some years. You have to think like a senior US official in the 1940s and 1950s. World War II has just ended, the Cold War is starting, everything is viewed through capitalism versus communism. Then someone puts a briefing in front of you that says, in essence, there is a group of humans living on another world who have no money, no private ownership in the way we structure it, automatic systems that meet their basic needs, and in that environment they advanced thousands of years faster than we have. The men who built what we now call the legacy program in the US that sounded less like “interesting anthropological data” and more like “a walking, talking advertisement for space communism.” It looked like proof that communism works better than the system they were trying to defend. That and the ramifications of what could happen if THAT ever got out terrified them more than the existence of aliens did, though to be fair they plenty had their worldview rocked by the latter too. So the core of the cover up has never just been “aliens” or even their technologies. It has been the systemic implications. The idea that scarcity and ownership are not hard coded into reality, that they are one possible way to run a society, and maybe not the optimal one. That was seen as an existential political threat in the 1940s and 1950s and some of the people who grew up in that mindset are still steering parts of the program today. Now add in the famous crash-retrieval incidents. Roswell '47, Kecksburg '65, a handful of other retrievals around the U.S. and around the world. What we were told is that most of those were not accidents. They were tests and gifts. The Council, with Erid input, allowed certain craft and systems to fall into human hands in a controlled way. Enough intact technology that a very motivated and capable society could learn from it, not enough that it would instantly rewrite everything. In fact the Kecksburg landing, it wasn't called a crash internally, was a direct result of a meeting and gift agreement made at Holloman AFB the year prior. The idea was to see who did what with it. Who could figure it out, who kept it secret, who tried to share, who tried to weaponize it, who panicked. Based on those results, the plan was to pick one primary human partner to act as the main interface for full Council contact and to begin a managed process of reunifying Earth humans with the Erids and introducing us to the wider community. You can argue whether that is a good way to do it. I am just telling you that is the framework I saw laid out. In the 1980s-90s during a brief period when the Cold War ended there was a push to finally disclose much of this. This was initially proposed at meeting between then U.S. President Ronald Reagan and then Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev at a summit in Reykjavik, Iceland in 1986. Also discussed was getting rid of nuclear weapons as had been urged by The Council. In the end it was decided to wait. There were two more U.S. pushes for disclosure between then and the 2017 New York Times article. One during the Clinton administration and another during the transition between the Obama and first Trump presidency. Now for the part that put a clock on all of this stuff you've been hearing about 2027 etc.... About three years ago, a species that is hostile to the Council found out about the Earth project. They are not part of the collective. They resent the way the Council handles in younger civilizations as they themselves felt victimized by the Council. They also resent the credit the Council gets for “successful” cases. I have heard them described as the jealous neighbors who would rather break your toys than watch you win. Yes, we sometimes joke about this stuff because again, it's the only way to stay sane with this everyday knowledge and integrate it into your civilian life of thanksgiving dinner, xmas shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice etc. Just as an aside, ever consider how two of the biggest holidays of they year involve gluttony (Thanksgiving) and overconsumption (Black Friday)? When you have the knowledge many have within the program stuff that is taken for granted seems really weird and a symptom of the now, forced scarcity of our current system. Anyway back to the aliens... The hostile group I mentioned decided to spoil the experiment. This species is ahead of us technologically but far behind the Council. Though they also inhabit a relatively nearby star cosmologically speaking, their travel is slower, less elegant and has to take place in stages, think of it as space "island hopping" which is why the lead time is so long. You probably want to know what they look like. Physically, based on the descriptions we saw, they are about five feet tall, segmented bodies, multiple limbs, basically ant like in overall form. Nothing subtle or humanoid about them. They launched an expedition toward Earth with the stated goal of making a mess. Cause chaos here, damage the experiment, and embarrass the Council by showing they cannot protect their own projects due to internal disagreements. Basically exploiting internal fissures, turning small cracks of understanding in The Council into canyons, thus destroying it. That's their hope at least. The transit time means for us they are expected to arrive in roughly two years from now, the 2027 holiday present NO ONE asked for. That news triggered a major debate within the Council. One group said, the rules say non interference, we watch and record what happens, even if it is ugly, as we had done in the past. The other group said, we effectively created this situation by tagging and monitoring this world, we have a moral obligation not to just watch a civilization we have been studying get smashed by somebody else’s grudge. If the Council showed up in force it would not be much of a fight. Their technology relative to the ant species is like a modern carrier group versus skilled archers on sailboats. The whole thing would be over quickly and it would also completely blow the point of letting a young species find its own way. It would also be a tremendous blow to the human ego which The Council is well aware of. So they arrived at a compromise. No direct Council fleets defending Earth. No obvious intervention. Instead, they would quietly arm us. What they chose to give us are things they roughly call scalar phase weapons. Our vocabulary is not great here. They are not just high power lasers. They interact with fields we do not fully understand or really have names for yet, shift phases, dump huge amounts of energy from the vacuum into very specific volumes of spacetime without a conventional bright beam or explosion. Compared to our current directed energy weapons, they are an enormous leap. As someone who spent years working with lasers and optics systems, I can tell you they sit so far off our current tech tree that if you saw the damage assessments from a pulse without context you would think they were misprints. But compared to Council weapons, they are nerf guns, training wheels per-se. Anyway, that decision set off another big argument, both among them and among us. The obvious concern was simple. Once the external threat is gone, what stops us from turning these things on each other the same way we took nuclear power and turned it into thousands of warheads aimed at our own cities? On the US side there were people saying exactly that. And some members of The Council argued that if we on Earth roll out scalar systems across arsenals, the first real test after the bugs are gone will likely be some crisis where two human governments start lighting each other up with technology they we do not fully understand. The counter argument, which won, was that species level survival has to come first. If humanity gets wiped out by someone else’s petty feud, then the entire debate is academic. Also, if humans fight this off themselves instead of watching the Council show up and save the day, they will meet the wider community as people who actually did something, not as rescued primitives. Human ego intact. And kill switch if you will, has been built into the tech to disable it after the conflict which The Council sees us winning. If we then decide to use these weapons against each other they'll simply be disabled until we humans have learned enough to disable the kill-switch which could be thousands of years from now for all I know. So against a lot of internal resistance, the Council has been quietly providing scalar phase systems to several blocs, not just the US. The list I saw included the United States, China, the European Union through specific channels, Russia, and Brazil. Those systems are being integrated into space platforms, aircraft, and undersea assets. Testing is happening in remote places and high altitudes, often disguised as other things. Most of the people physically working on it think it is an advanced homegrown black program. Only a very small circle in each capital sees the full context. I got to see pieces of that picture shortly before I was pushed into “retirement”, which is a polite way of saying I stopped being convenient. That is as specific as I am willing to get. There is one more reason I am writing this now, after pondering it for a long time, and it is more personal than the two year clock. A friend of mine, someone I worked closely with inside the program, another EO specialist, had been talking quietly years ago about going to Congress. Not with everything, they were not suicidal. Just enough to force a real closed door hearing in the Senate, get the true nature of certain SAPs acknowledged on paper, make it harder to bury the whole subject under jokes and career threats. Over as year ago I got word that they died. The official explanation has been vague and unsatisfying. “Medical complications” on a trip to a black site in the Indian Ocean. Those medical complications do not match what I know about their health, then it became "an accident at home” with no details anyone will put in writing. People who would normally be candid went very quiet very fast. Maybe it was just bad luck. People do die suddenly. But given the threats which are known about within certain IC sectors when one is associated with this subject, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that the last long conversation I had with them was about whether it was worth trying to talk to certain congressional staffers for a certain Senator. After hearing recent news confirming publicly much of what I know to be true privately I stopped telling myself I would wait and see how things played out. Life is short. So here we are. Some stranger on the internet telling you an unbelievable story you are free not to believe. With roughly two years on the clock and the current rate of leaks and “whistleblowers” and half disclosures, it is very unlikely they keep all of this under wraps until the first time something openly not from here appears in our sky or our orbit. At some point before that happens, at least one major government, maybe more, is going to go public in a controlled way. My guess would be China or the US, but it could be one of the others on that scalar weapon list. You will likely get a very carefully worded announcement about unidentified aerial phenomena, about contact with “non human intelligences”, about new defensive technologies and unprecedented international cooperation. It will be designed to manage panic and control the story. What you probably will not hear in the first round of briefings is the part about the Erids, the economic implications of their society's existence, the billion other habitable planets, the undersea infrastructure that has been here longer than we have had bones. You will not see anyone step up to a podium and say “oh by the way, there is a branch of humanity that grew up without the idea of money and scarcity ten thousand years ago and advanced five millennia past us”. That is why I am dumping this here, where people can ignore it, laugh at it, or save it and see how it ages. Like I said, do not have to believe me. I'm not here to sell a book, go on podcasts, be on Tv or do UFO lectures/ Treat this as fiction if that makes you more comfortable. What I am really trying to do is get you to think past the kiddie pool questions. “Are UFOs real” "Are the NHI good or evil?" is not the interesting part. The far more interesting questions are what happens to this planet once everyone knows we are being watched, that we have cousins around another star, that some of the basic assumptions we built our societies around were just one option, not a fundamental law of nature. If in a year or two you start hearing officials talk about “our cousins among the stars” or “civilizations far older than ours” and “new non kinetic systems” and “shared planetary defense”, remember this post and see how well it fits. Look, the bugs are coming either way. The Council is not going to save us directly. They already handed out the tools and they are watching to see what we do with them. The part that is still up to us is what kind of world we build if we get through it. Will we all go back to work and beat each other over the head with really advanced sticks or do we achieve a more enlightened potential? That is all I have. Rhea submitted by /u/rhea-15510 to r/UFOs [link] [comments]

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Junior_Duck8089 in r/TwoHotTakes trigger warnings: violence, abuse, attempted murder, cancer mood spoilers: hopeful Editor’s note: I made slight grammatical changes and altered some titles. ———————————————   Part 1 - AITA for bashing my sister in the head with a Christmas present and telling her to consider me dead? - 7 Oct 2023 So this situation happened December of last year, just before I left for a college program in Orlando. I (20F) have never gotten along with my younger sister (18F) who has various mental health issues and a personal vendetta against me I will never fully understand. She hurt me a lot when we were kids, and not in a “sisters hair pulling” kind of way. We’re talking burning me with irons on purpose, trying to hold me under the pool water when my parents weren’t around (she’s a larger girl compared and later on I’ll explain why this is), cutting my hair, cutting me with scissors, ripping heads off my dolls, and even would tell lies about me at school- like how she said I got hit by a bus and died in the 5th grade. When I was a sophomore the issues between us only got worse and worse. I started trying to stand up for myself more and while my Mother would separate us when things seemed to go too far (because I’ll admit I’m no angel, I had my share of unkind words and jabs), however when we stayed at my Dad’s it was a much different story. He would go into his room and sleep if get so angry he couldn’t handle it, so he walked away; which would lead to my worst nightmare. While eating dinner I tried to pause the tv to use the restroom and my sister got mad. I told her not to unpause it until I came back, but she didn’t wait for me and I got upset and called her a bitch. Again, I had my fair share of insults, but never one time had I been violent with her- I’ve only ever put my hands up or ran away. That day, however, she decided violence would be the only answer to my calling her that as she took the steak knife from her dinner plate and held it to my neck. It was like time froze for me. I don’t even remember to this day when she put it down or how I ended up on the floor- just the smell of the food, the way it felt against my neck, and that she said she wanted to kill me. I do remember running to tell my Dad, but he was out cold and so instead I went to bed and put a chair behind my door because I was scared. I actually called 911 but ended up saying it was an accidental dial because I was scared of what they would do to my sister. The next day my grandmother picked us up and took me to school (my mom homeschooled my sister after finding out she was bullying some girls at her school and stealing money from my grandmother’s fundraiser- she also had kids sign a ‘petition’ to rename me as ‘dumb hoe’ or something) where I had a full on panic attack in the bathroom mirror. I don’t know what caused it. I may sound dramatic but I really only remember bits and pieces of what happened that day to lead me to the counselors’ office, where I spilled everything. I waited in her office for what felt like a million years when my Mom came in along with a police officer and my grandma (Dad’s Mom). Two days of sleeping at grandma’s later, we get a call my sister is in a jail cell for the night. She had attacked my mother, who recently had stomach surgery, and tried to hit her in the stitches. My mom ended up going to the hospital because of the bruising and my sister was trying to claim child abuse after my mother got her to the ground by the back of her neck. She only managed to call 911 because my grandpa lived one house away and heard all the commotion. She ended up admitting to the officers she didn’t want to kill my mother but she “really really wanted to hurt (my name) because she took my life.” I still don’t know what she meant by that. Fast forward after various behavioral facilities, ins/outs of public school, and multiple different medication/therapy trials- she and I started to get better during the pandemic, though there was an entire city distance from each other. She still made comments about me and would fly off the handle but she hadn’t been violent in a long time. Now that you know our history, let’s go back to December: The first incident was when dad dropped a Christmas present she’d gotten her dog and the paper scratched a bit. She waited until he went back to grab more from the house and (with me in the back seat) took his phone, keys, and wallet before trying to speed off and nearly wrecking us into the neighbors fence before my dad jumped infront of the car and started banging on the window. Mind you, her therapist had informed my dad to tell any family of ours to record this kind of behavior: so that’s what I did. I sent it to my Mom to talk to Dad about later (I try to seem involved as little as possible on her mental space). At Christmas with Mom, I won $200 in lottery tickets, and she won only $8 which lead to her wishing me dead and leaving without any of the gifts I’d worked to buy her. And finally, the straw that broke the camels back for me, was when she lunged at me from across the room while opening presents with my elderly grandmother and so I slammed the Christmas gift in my hand right into her face. She’d seen the video on mom’s phone while trying to send herself pictures of the day. Because of this, in the eyes of some, I may deserve it- but I was done. And when she told me she hoped I got assaulted and murdered in Orlando, that she wished I never come home and claimed I’d ruined her life, I was broken. She ran off crying and I chased her into the other room telling her that she should consider me a stranger. As far as she was concerned, I wasn’t family to her anymore and she was dead to me. I go home today. I have had her blocked on every piece of media or contact possible, I even deleted any pictures of us. I am done with her. And these past 10 months away from her, with no contact, have made me realize just how much better my life is without the anxiety she brings in it. But now that I’m coming home, my grandmother wants me to apologize even though my sister told her she hates to breath the same air as me, let alone see my face. Should I apologize and AITA? Edit: I have a LOT of people asking what I hit her with. It was a makeup mini fridge. Also I forgot to explain what I meant by why she is ‘larger’ than me. She had a growth spurt at the age of 11 and even (tmi) got her period before me. She’s struggled with weight loss her entire life after the fact.   Relevant Comments   [deleted]: She sounds like a budding murderer. I think you should go no contact for your own safety. She’s not your problem. Start a new chapter in your life and breathe easy for once. MaydaysMom: NTA I am surprised that your sister isn’t permanently institutionalized by now. Whatever help she has been given isn’t working. Do not apologize, your parents and grandmother should be apologizing to you for putting you through this your whole life. I would have an order of protection out against her with no end date. This is not normal. TheAndreaDonoso: This... just with the first paragraph I thought "why is she not in a mental facility?" Is not normal at all... unless OP is not telling everything and she did something really wrong or their upbringing was really violent, her behavior doesn't make any sense. OOP: That’s something that’s always confused me: we have a good life outside of all this! We aren’t poor, aren’t rich. Middle class. Parents (had) split custody and got along well enough. maccrogenoff: NTA. You have nothing to apologize for so you shouldn’t apologize. The people who owe apologies here are every member of your family who didn’t protect you from your sister. They owe you apologies and reparations. I would advise you against living with your mother considering your sister’s violent vindictiveness and your family members’ inability to protect you. If I were you, I would move away, get a restraining order against your sister and not tell any of your family members where you live. Your sister wants to kill you. Take that seriously. OOP: My mother has banned her from her home. That was our agreement when I agreed to move back in with her and my step father. I also informed my dad (a few minutes ago actually) me and my grandmother (his mom) who wants us to ‘let things go’ are only to meet in public places when I have my own vehicle so I can leave if she ever shows. superwholockian: NTA. WTF took you so long to disown her? OOP: If I’m honest: mostly pressure by my family members. The only people who have never pressure me to get along with her in the past is my mother (who only speaks to her via text and sees her maybe once every 3 months at the restaurant my sister works at), my step father (he’s an officer himself now and actually knows some connections now if I choose to press charges in the future), my aunts and uncles on my mother’s side, my uncle (dad’s brother who was on my side for years saying something wasn’t normal about my sister), and my little brother. catsmom63: NTA. It sounds like the sister is a danger to herself and others. Does she go to therapy? Does she have a diagnosis? Based on the fact she has tried to hurt multiple people I don’t understand why she isn’t institutionalized by the state? OOP: At first they thought it was a form of aggravated ADD and while others suggest personality disorders, the only real thing they can all agree on (she’s seen maybe 3 therapists, spent a week at a behavioral facility, and actively tried around 9+ different forms of medication) is that she seems to actually somewhat calm down when she’s on high doses of estrogen. StructureKey2739: Seems? OOP: It’s hard to tell at times because she sometimes also self-isolates. They often notice she is able to rationalize and act less impulsive when on high doses of estrogen. Francie1966: Do you have a friend you can stay with? OOP: She lives with my dad at the moment because my mother banned her from the house when I agreed to come home to finish up my degree. [downvoted comment]: There it is. You left the most important part out. Sounds like that's what she meant by you took her life- right? You said she had no idea what that could mean.. but you literally took her place. I can see why the grandmother wants you to apologize. She was displaced from her home when the favorite daughter came home. How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Not to mention you are taping her and sending it to people. I wonder now what was said or done that caused her to pull a knife on you.. or did that even happen? […] Both of you are violent and have severe issues. I hope you are getting help also. OOP: I’ve tried to see in her view multiple times but I really can’t understand it. Like I said in my post, I’m no angel, and you’re right to say that maybe I could have been a better person/example at times. But I’m always the one who has to say sorry. I’m the one who has to let her do what she wants and cancel plans to fit her. I’m the one whose had to cut off family because they defend her actions and now I’m likely having to go LC with more after coming home. I’m no angel, but I don’t see how anyone deserves this feeling. I’m not looking for a pity party either I just want advice and (honestly) to rant. I can’t tell people about these things in my daily life. I’m from a small town where people talk and everyone knows everyone. Trust is hard for me here. OOP on the extent of her sister’s injuries: I really just reacted without thinking. It was so sudden I barely registered what I’d done until seconds after it happened. I hit her with a makeup mini fridge and there was a bit of red (not blood!!!) on the side of the face/head where I hit her with it. On previous fights: I’m not really much of a physical fighter. Aside from the Christmas incident and maybe a few hair pulls in self defense, I’m more of a verbal type gal. On possibly confronting her sister in the future: I don’t think I could ever do that. I’m too worried she’ll explode on me.   Part 2 - Need Advice! - 11 Oct 2023 (4 days later) First off, thank you all so much for your advice and kind words. When I first posted it was (admittedly) more of a venting session due to stress more than anything but your recommendations and encouragement have helped lift me up in ways I can’t put into words. That being said I feel it would be wrong to not update you all on my current situation, should anything happen in the future. And sadly, at this time, I do need more advice. This week as I moved in I spoke to my Mother, who agreed (though I would have went through with it anyways) it would be best to go less contact with my grandmother and her siblings who agree with her. My Dad doesn’t like it but says he understands and won’t say a word about my whereabouts to my Grandmother until after the fact. However we have an entirely new storm about to brew: My Dad’s brother’s wife (my aunt) wants to do a big family picture as we haven’t had one since 2017, when things with my sister reached it’s peak. EVERYONE involved in this picture keeps bugging me about it. Sending me outfit ideas, texting me times and locations, asking me to plan poses for them (I was and still technically am a contract model which somehow makes me an expert in all things photography, despite me never holding a pro camera in my life???). I honestly don’t know how to say I can’t be in a family picture if my sister is there and, knowing them, if I ask them to choose between us I know it will end with them trying to make me compromise and be ‘as far away as possible’ or ‘make it quick and easy, we wouldn’t even have to talk.’ If you were me, what would you say? Because I really don’t know if I’m ready to be in the same room as her yet, if ever. Decision made: I will suddenly have a false positive Covid test this November. Thank you. (Also might steal that cardboard cutout idea if they give me too much shit before I put them in ‘time out’ as suggested by another user.)   Part 3 - Card in the Car - 24 Oct 2023 (2 weeks later) (Another update on my situation- if you aren’t up to speed all of my post are captioned the same but in parts as I update. These posts are not for ‘clout’ purposes and are strictly to update those concerned for my situation or give insight to those going through similar issues.) Since moving back home I have remained completely NC with my younger sister and LC with my grandmother (Dad’s Side). It’s been great. I have 3 job interviews scheduled, made a small amount of money taking up baby sitting jobs for relatives and friends. I will say my Dad has been much more supportive throughout the NC process than I thought he would be. He’s only mentioned reconnecting once and after I explained my reasoning for wanting to remain NC he immediately dropped it. This last week I did some home improvements at his place while my sister was at work and our paths only crossed once but we were in our vehicles as I was leaving so I never saw her face to face. For those concerned about her pets, they seem to be taken care of well enough though part of the home improvements I worked on involved flooring that swelled from where she didn’t clean up the dog’s urine in a corner of her bedroom. Dad now charges her rent after that. Instead of paying me my Dad decided to give me a car. It’s his old one from work that he’s fully paid off and since he’s getting a new truck he won’t need it any more. The only thing is his old work car more or less became a driving trash dump. It’s littered with soda cans, food bins, old welding equipment, and (as I’d soon find) unused condoms. While I was cleaning it out at my Mom’s place I found a letter addressed to me under some of the trash. It seemed old enough with stains on it from whatever rolled on top of it. “My names on it- I may as well open it,” I’d thought to myself before realizing it was from my sister. 3 years ago. For my High school graduation. I never even knew she got me anything and honestly after seeing it I don’t know how to feel. I’m not sure why but it made me second guess if I’d been too harsh on her in the past, then I remembered everything she did and practically threw it in a drawer and walked away. That was two days ago. I just feel weird having it now and while I have no intention of contacting her still I wonder if there was ever a time she really cared for me. It may sound stupid and silly to some but she’s never actually written anything so nice to me or given me anything outside of Christmas. Not even for my birthday. Is it normal to question these things or think this way? Edit because I forgot: I am starting therapy in two weeks. Being a small town the options are limited, especially with insurance. I’m hopeful I’ll get in sooner.   Relevant Comments   MissMurderpants: What did the letter say? Did she start acting out on you as she became a preteen or has she always been like this towards you? OOP: It started off when we were younger with things like cutting, burning, hair pulling, lying to people saying I was dead, etc. It has gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. The letter just said it was from her and I worked hard to graduate despite my struggles with ADHD. MissMurderpants: There are some mental illnesses that start to manifest when people reach puberty. OOP: I still wonder to this day if it’s not partly a hormonal issue. The more advice I get and the more people I reach out to about my situation the more I realize there is this huge emotional and mental issue, yes, but I wonder if there’s a more chemical aspect to it. A little TMI: She got her period before me and her body started to undergo its… female changes… at around 10-12 years old (I think 11 but I can’t be 100% right now). Around that same time her actions toward me seemed to get worse and worse. I’m getting tired of looking for answers I may never have tho so I’m trying not to look into her mental/physical health much further. I think trying to find a cause over all these years has almost driven me insane. [deleted]: Your sister sounds like the medical definition of a psychopath or psychopathic tendencies towards you at least. Maybe she resents you for being older, better looking (yes making assumption based on weight and the fact you said you model.) what could have started out as a childhood resentment for multiple reasons has grown into a full on hatred it seems like. You know what she’s like and what she has done to you, most everyone who has siblings has fought or still fights with them; I highly doubt the average gets a knife to their throat and ptsd over it though. So hold your ground for your own safety, the card could’ve been a few reasons: the abuser honestly felt bad for what they had done for a moment and tried to change, the abuser is trying to make you let your guard down so they can continue in their aggressive ways; or even possibly you parent(s) pushed her into showing a heart warming gesture for what some consider a life milestone. In any of those cases the guilt does not fall to you in anyway, choose your safety first. If you’re concerned for your family, well we can’t really make people change their minds, they have to figure it out for themselves more often than not. If family keeps pushing, stick to your reasons and don’t forget them, and just say nothing can change until she gets some serious therapy… for years   Part 4 - Mom has cancer. Taking the picture and leaving. - deleted by OOP, recovered with Unddit - 9 Nov 2023 (2 weeks later) Smaller update: I didn’t get the teller job but they kept my resume for future positions. I did, however, get a job working for my Mother’s boss as a secretary. It pays well and I honestly am alone a lot so it’s been good for some self/reflection. I also got a boyfriend! He’s a little bit on the country side and we’ve had a few political debates but I’ve never had a guy make me feel this way. He’s become a major supporter of me and is actually a prison guard and state-trooper hopeful. I guess opposites really do attract sometimes, because while he’s out hunting deer I’m watch RuPaul’s Drag Race re-runs. I also dropped out of college. I couldn’t handle it atop all my other personal issues. The bigger update(s): As my caption says, my family has been hit hard by my mother’s recent cancer diagnosis. At first we were told since it was her thyroid, which according to the doctor is the ‘best’ type of cancer you can have, it should be a simple removal. Turns out it’s much more serious than that but I’m going to only speak lightly on it, as we are waiting to learn more before we tell anyone outside of direct family and I want to properly update on the situation. Now for the latest thing my family has tried to pull. I made a deal with my family. If my sister is there, I won’t be unless they make sure she stays a number of feet away. After that we go back to our regularly schedule NC. Everyone seemed fine with that. I said I’d get in a picture with her and Dad, who despite our issues I know would take her down if she tried anything. Am I going to put myself at some risk? Yes. But unlike the rest of my family I am driving myself and can leave at anytime, plus I’m a former model with the photographer they selected and he has been aware of our situation for some time as a close friend which gives me some comfort that he’ll move us as far as possible for photos. Why did I agree? Because my LC grandmother is in bad health. I think that’s why she has pushed for us to ‘make up’ so badly which is no excuse in my eyes but gives me some clarity. It may be our last chance at a big family photo. I don’t want to deny my cousins of this. They have always loved and supported me. I feel security in knowing how many people are on my side and will be vigilant when it comes to her behavior. [Editor’s note: I was unable to recover the image included in this post.] The message above however is between me and my Dad after my aunt texted in the group chat a paper detailing of what shots she really wants. One is me and my sister. Together. On a bridge. Alone. I sent the above message to my dad basically saying absolutely the f*ck not and I haven’t heard back since. Now that blanket of security I felt feels like it’s slowly tearing away after reading that and his lack of response. There’s still time to back out but now it would just cause even more bullshit and I’m honestly lost as to what to do.   Part 5 - Sister is at it again - 23 Dec 2023 (1 month later) (Hey guys! I have decided to start tagging as ‘personal write in’ since I’ve finally come to terms I can’t control these things and no longer need to question if I am at fault for me and my sister’s situation.) So. My sister has started once again with her hatred towards me at the family holiday. I made the recent decision I would be civil so we can have Christmas all together for the sake of mom. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned this in my previous update but she was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer since my coming home. Strange as it may sound the doctors say it’s the best cancer to have? Still, she’s scared to death going through something I could never understand and made the promise that she’d keep my sister as far away as humanly possible. Unlike other family members she didn’t really even push me- just suggested it. I hesitated but knowing how many events my mother has went without all of her children and all of the stress she’s went through lately I just agreed. I’m already starting to regret my decision. I don’t feel scared I’ll be physically harmed because if she tries anything I now have a 6’1” prison guard/self-declared gym ‘nut’ (my bf) to keep her away. He’s one of the few people who I’ve told everything to. And because he says he loves me I guess my sister hates him. She messaged mom on Facebook a few weeks prior that if he came to our family gifts with us then she’d not show. That if I was at the gingerbread night she was going to leave. She never even came to gingerbread night yesterday and after mom posted Facebook images of the event my sister went crazy online. Posting how she’s the ‘stranger’ and black sheep of our family. Cursing out my mother in comment sections and even not coming to our extended family Christmas breakfast today because of it. My boyfriend offered to just see me later Christmas morning and I told him it would be different if it wasn’t because she hates me. Like, if mom wanted it to just be family, I may be less comfortable but it’s fine because she never stays long. But she’s targeting my bf because she hates me and refuses to show because of me being there- I just know I’ll feel a lot of guilt because mom is going to be so hurt and I really don’t know if she’ll come. I don’t really need advice here, I guess I’m posting today because my mind is full of holiday worry for a mom who may not be here next year and has always supported me through this.   Relevant Comments   No_Astronaut2795: If this is real, I have no idea why you would put yourself in this situation again. OOP: I don’t want to, truly, but family means everything to me and I’d do just about anything for my mother except be alone in a room with this person or somewhere with people I know will always turn a blind eye to what she does. It’s unlikely my sister will come, and a big part of me is praying she doesn’t, but I know my mother will be hurt. Like someone else said- holidays come with unrealistic expectations and disappointment. Add that with her medical situation (which I must say the more people message me, the better I feel about it) and its just makes things so worse in my mind. d0rm0use2: 2 things. As a thyroid cancer survivor, it’s the “best” to have cause it’s easy to fix. You can survive without a thyroid and take meds. 2nd - screw your sister. OOP: The more people have messaged me the better I have felt about it. I think it’s the word “cancer” in general that puts me into a spin. If it’s ok, do you mind if I ask if you had any struggles after? Health wise or physically. I am going to help her through recovery since my job is only part-time and I’ll be home more than others. Floomby: This is not within your power to fix, so set that particular guilt aside. You cannot control your sister. You cannot fix her mental health, or control her reaction to anything. Therefore, you cannot provide that perfect family reunion for your mother. You can show up for your mother, and that's it. In fact, you should probably not even try. You were thinking that you should make the big sacrifice, swallow your pride, and be with your sister for a sweet bit of theater, but that nice Kodak moment would depend on your sister's desire for the same thing. But remember, your sister was not asked if she was on board with your plan, nor would it be a good or remotely realistic idea. So by absenting herself, your sister is probably doing the wisest thing. Your mother seeing you one at a time is much better than having you two get together and having a repeat of the huge fight. Part of the reason holidays make people sad is that they put wildly unreasonable expectations on them. Rolling up and expecting your sister to take that as a cue to fix whatever mental illness she hasn't ever been able to fix before is one of those expectations. So just be there for your Mom, and give Sister space for her time, as long as she isn't getting abusive with her. Worry about your own behavior, and let Sister deal with herself. OOP on her sister helping out: My sister would never be involved in Mom’s recovery process. She never has in the past when it came to liver and bowel surgeries. I don’t think she’s ever once even asked about Mom’s current health status, not to my knowledge at least.   Part 6 - Final Update - 1 Jan 2024 (1 week later) (Hey guys! Please no donations! I’m not asking for money of any kind and I did find a job so I’m no longer struggling as much financially. I do appreciate the willingness to give but I cannot accept. If you would like I’m sure there are plenty of charities that are willing to accept such and I’ll gladly give suggestions if asked, but again, I will not accept.) Happy 2024! It’s officially been a few days over a year since I’ve spoken to my sister. I’ve learned a lot in this time and the holidays went smoothly enough- I basically avoided her like the plague and we were only in the same room for a short time period surrounded by people I know wouldn’t stand for her behavior. In a shocking turn of events- I got offered a modeling job earlier this week. It’s runway modeling and I’ll definitely have to start hitting the gym for it, but my boyfriend thinks it could help me with stressors in life and my therapist even thinks its a wonderful idea! Any tips? I haven’t been to the gym in almost 4 months and even then I just ran a treadmill. I don’t bring this up to brag or be one of those attention seeking “I’m a model omg love me” types I see online (I was friends with one of those. They do exist and they are not good to be around). I bring this development up as an example of my progress mentally. My sister found out about this opportunity- more specifically, she found out it was in NYC- and of course she complained to my Dad about how it’s not fair I get to do these things, I’m the world’s favorite, I don’t deserve this, etc. In the past I’ve always let her comments bother a small part of me. Maybe they didn’t choose me to win xyz prize because they liked my work, maybe I was second call for abc project, maybe I did get lucky when I won lmnop scholarship. I know this all makes me sound like a big baby to a few of you. I know some of you will say I’m exaggerating and my thought process in the past has been way out there- and I’m here to say you’re right in a lot of ways. I was being hard on myself, hard on my accomplishments, and letting the words of someone else impact my life. But until I decided to let that person go and I reached my own boiling point I didn’t take as much pride in these things. I made excuses for how they came to be instead of how I built myself to these things. And that part is a fault of my own. For the first time probably ever I actually laughed when my sister tried to bring me down and I feel like my confidence is growing. My therapist says this is a sign I’m actually healing and not letting her takeover. I’m happy to say I finally feel like I’m making progress a year later.   Relevant Comments   Floomby: It's soooo super unfair that Sister didn't get a job she didn't apply to and isn't qualified for! How dare you apply for jobs and achieve things! You should call that job up first thing tomorrow and tell them to offer it to your sister instead or you're a big stinky meanie!! (/s) Leayla: I’m so proud of you. I’ve been following your story and your sister has serious problems. I’m glad you are distancing yourself from her. 2024 is going to be a great year for you.   Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. submitted by /u/ToiIetGhost to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Earlier this year, in anticipation of the release of Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning, I decided to rank all of Tom Cruise’s running scenes in the M:I franchise. I’d worked on several M:I data pieces for various companies and figured it would be easy to rank the 100ish running moments. When the list was completed - it felt incomplete, so I decided to rank all of the running scenes in his filmography. Starting with 1981’s Endless Love, and finishing with 2023's Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning. Cruise had gone to extreme lengths for his films, so I decided to honor his hard work by putting together this absurd list. Quick note - His X handle always makes me laugh https://preview.redd.it/nipy05v8czwe1.png?width=762&format=png&auto=webp&s=98ad8d85fd8050287ab4770953933c0844f559f1 Here’s what you need to know about the list: I found and ranked 295 moments I counted running, sprinting and jogging. The amount of time doesn’t matter either. In Top Gun there’s a one-second shot of him running to hit a volleyball. It was included. A short blurb was included for list items 295 - 26 Timestamps have been included for the top 25. Some of the timestamps may be a little off for you. It depends on where/how you watch the movies. For me, it was a mixture of DVDs, Blu-rays, Vudu and streaming channels. I researched the top 10 scenes and wrote more about them (and included YouTube links) This list is obviously subjective, but after going through Cruise’s filmography for the fourth time since 2018, I am very happy with the top 10 There is zero chance that our lists will match up, so don’t be surprised if the 295 moments don’t line up with your list. For some of the scenes, I split them up into moments. I just went with the flow of the scene and if he stops for a moment or the scene cuts to someone else - I split up the running moment into parts. If you’re interested in learning more about the top 10 and this list, I recorded a podcast episode about the data collection and ranking process. It’s fun. You should listen to it. The podcast is called Movies, Films and Flix - you can find it wherever you listen to podcasts. I also have a show called Deep Blue Sea - The Podcast that you should listen to as well. Here’s the list! Losin’ It - Quick moment featuring Cruise starting to run. Losin’ It - He runs to get into a car. Losin’ It - While being chased by some people he runs to the convertible (again). Top Gun - He runs to hit a volleyball. Mission: Impossible II - Cruise runs up some stairs. Top Gun - Quick run before going up some steps. Days of Thunder - Jogs through a parking garage to catch Nicole Kidman. The Firm - Stair running. Legend - Hell prison crouched jogging. The Mummy - Cruise runs to his horse. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - A little bit of running to a safe car. The Firm - Super fast house running. Mission: Impossible - Jogs to a ladder. Taps - Runs to get to the front of other students (does it with ease). Taps - Jogs to Timothy Hutton. Knight and Day - Duck and run. All the Right Moves - He can’t catch the running back. Mission: Impossible III - Quick run through Vatican catacombs. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - Mardi Gras running (I combined 5 quick running moments - one/two seconds each). Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Runs away from Ilsa when she’s shooting at him in the opera. Mission: Impossible III - Runs towards a car and steals it. Legend - Forest running. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Runs through gunfire to get to Alec Baldwin. Risky Business - Front door running. Jerry Maguire - Panicked running to get back to the office after meeting with Jay Mohr. Cocktail - He jumps out of a car and runs to get on a bus. The Outsiders - Animated moment involving him running around the corner of a house. Oblivion - Runs and hides for cover behind a pillar. All the Right Moves - Mud running on a football field. Knight and Day - Sprints through a jungle. Legend - Hell prison running. Legend - More hell prison running. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Kremlin running. Legend - More hell prison running and crouching. Mission: Impossible 2 - Sneaky running through a tunnel. Rain Man - He runs across a street. It’s fine. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - Rain Jogging. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Flashback running. Rain Man - He runs to help Raymond who is standing in the middle of a street. Edge of Tomorrow - “We’ve been through worse.” Cage and Rita make a final fun at the aliens. Legend - Snow running. Edge of Tomorrow - Running with a limp. Mission: Impossible III - Cruise helps Keri Russell. Mission: Impossible III - More help running Russell. Cruise loves a spin move. Mission: Impossible III - MORE help running Russell. Legend - More snow running. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - He runs for cover whilst inside a tunnel. The Mummy - More running away from the Mummy. The Mummy - Even more running from the Mummy. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Prison running. The Mummy - He runs away from the mummy and some rats. Mission: Impossible III - Shrub running followed by hospital running. The Mummy - Runs away from zombies. The Mummy - More running away from zombies. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Train running. Edge of Tomorrow - He manages to outrun an exploding helicopter. Knight and Day - Rescue running. Mission: Impossible III - Runs into a room and shoots a goon. All the Right Moves - Runs onto a football field. Taps - He leads a group of students to the front. Legend - Running away from little demons. Taps - Runs with a gun. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - New Orleans running. The Firm - He runs into his office to answer a phone call. Cocktail - Beach running! War of the Worlds - Runs behind a car door. War of the Worlds - Crowd running. Minority Report - Runs down a platform (3 seconds) and puts on a shirt. Oblivion - Med Kit running. War of the Worlds - Sprints out of the way of a crashing alien ship. The Mummy - Gallops away from Russell Crowe. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Sewer running. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Quick train run followed by parachuting. The Mummy - He runs to grab a weapon. The Color of Money - Cruises runs across a street to chat with Paul Newman. Minority Report - Runs around the precog platform. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Runs to a fight in Venice. Risky Business - Jumps off his car and runs to the front door of a house. Born on the Fourth of July - Intense snow running during wrestling practice. Rain Man - He notices that Raymond is gone so he runs out of the phone booth. Days of Thunder - Runs to Nicole Kidman’s car. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He runs across a street and goes up some steps. War of the Worlds - Stair running followed by a bit of street running. He then runs into his backyard. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Runs inside a shelter during a sandstorm. There’s a few more running moments during the gunfight. All the Right Moves - He runs outside to smooch Leah Thompson. Edge of Tomorrow - He runs up to a bridge to see the aliens attacking. Edge of Tomorrow - Training Cruise. Legend - Runs through a closing hell gate. Legend - Cruise runs to pick up a sword to battle Darkness. All The Right Moves - He goes for the man and not the ball. Far and Away - Snow running. Mission: Impossible III - “Get down!” Cruise runs from gunfire coming from an helicopter. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Tight Venice alley running. War of the Worlds - Running through the woods while carrying Dakota Fanning. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Crouched running to a car. War of the Worlds - Cruise gets his family on a ferry. Then, they run through the ferry. Mission: Impossible III - More “Get down, stay down” shenanigans. He does jump over a car - which is fun. The Firm - Runs around his back yard. Eyes Wide Shut - Run across a street and towards a cab. Jerry Maguire - Runs through the rain to get to make some copies of his manifesto. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs into a building. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Sand running. Far and Away - Runs with a mule and a gun. Mission: Impossible III - Bridge running capped off with a fun slide. American Made - Are we running? - Tom runs to grab his cash. Far and Away - Irish fog running. War of the Worlds - Cruise runs and grabs Fanning. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He makes a move through a couple closing doors and runs after a food truck. Oblivion - Sand running to help Julia. He also runs back to his ship. Oblivion - He lands his plane and runs to Julia. Rain Man - He runs through his house after the fire alarm goes off. Cocktail - Running in white pants. Brave move. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - More Venice running. Cocktail - Cruise jets past a pair of bouncers. Interview With the Vampire - Creepy Cruise Running. Risky Business - He runs in his backyard with some lawn gear. Top Gun: Maverick - Beach running while playing football. The Mummy - He runs up stairs to get away from the mummy. Good form. Legend - Runs and jumps into a lake so he can get a ring. He doesn’t play. Far and Away - Jumps off a train and runs through a field. Jack Reacher - Quarry running. Jack Reacher - More quarry running. Endless Love - Plays Soccer, takes off shirt and sits down. The Firm - Runs with books. I like prop running. Mission: Impossible - Disguised as a firefighter jogging. Cocktail - Mice crane shot of him running through the snow. He has props too. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - He runs away from the hideout, talks to Ilsa and runs down a hallway. War of the Worlds - Basement running. Mission: Impossible III - Puddle running followed by a run up to an abandoned factory. War of the Worlds - “Stay together” Cruise chases after his kid. Jack Reacher - He runs up some steps and kicks a door in while holding a gun - Impressive. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - He runs across an elevator to get to a ladder. Mission: Impossible 2 - He shoots two guys and runs to steal one of their motorcycles. Jerry Maguire - Jerry runs to the field through a dark hallway - He’s booking it. War of the Worlds - Field running followed by a run into a basement. Minority Report - Jumps off a bed and grabs a guy. Collateral - Runs away from a crashed taxi. Oblivion - Gets blown backwards after running to save a person. Risky Business - He leaves a cab, runs along the street and to an apartment. Edge of Tomorrow - Runs away from an alien to grab a gun. Far and Away - Irish hill running. The Last Samurai - He runs before a battle. Solid crouch running/jogging. Far and Away - Irish hill running. Mission: Impossible III - He runs from the MI crew and gets darted in a hospital parking lot. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Cruise pulls a slick move on some Italian guys. Mission: Impossible III - Bridge running followed by a loooooonnnnggg jump. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - “Open the door!” - More prison running. War of the Worlds - They get out of the water and run on the shore and through some woods. Legit wet running. Knight and Day - Ducks and runs when Cameron Diaz starts shooting. Born on the Fourth of July - Rounds up a team before a battle. Things go bad. War of the Worlds - Rachel! Runs to protect his daughter. Legend - Swamp running to save a quest comrade. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - He and Renner chase down Benji. Knight and Day - Roof running. Mission: Impossible III - Runs and puts a walkie talkie near a radio. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Suit running to catch villains. American Made - Cruise chases after a car and it explodes. Vanilla Sky - Runs down some stairs - Wobbly running. Edge of Tomorrow - He runs and bumps a guy out of the way of a crashing helicopter. It lands on Cruise. Vanilla Sky - Runs wobbly threw a lobby - Does a nice spin. Minority Report - Creeps around a hallway while running while chasing eyeballs. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He runs on top of a roof and charges into a goon. Edge of Tomorrow - Cruise kicks some alien butt on the beach. Edge of Tomorrow - Cruise runs and knocks a car out of the way. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He runs towards a guy and pushes him off a roof (Tom goes with him - the goon dies - Tom lives). Mission: Impossible - Fallout - He sees a helicopter about to take off and runs towards it and grabs onto a rope. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs out of the Kremlin, collects his breath and leaves. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Airport running. Mission: Impossible III - Shanghai side street running. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - He runs to Luther to make sure he is okay. Legend - He lands a sweet jump, runs to grab a weapon and battles a hell guard. There are several instances of running during this moment. All the Right Moves - He has more left in the tank than most of the other football players Minority Report - Runs away from operatives. Mission: Impossible III - “I’m in the approach position.” Nice long shot of Cruise running. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Airport running - ladder climbing - Running on top of the airport. Nice overhead shot. Knight and Day - Roof running followed by a nice jump, slide, and another jump and finally a fall into a river. Far and Away - He hoofs it out of his apartment. Born on the Fourth of July - Cruise and a small group run into a village. Big scene. Edge of Tomorrow - Manages to get past the truck and he runs into Emily Blunt - and then runs out of the drop ship. All the Right Moves - Pass interference in the rain Edge of Tomorrow - “We’ve been through worse.” Cage and Rita make their final run at the aliens. Mission: Impossible - He runs around a corner and does some nice acting (and stopping) when a car explodes - He then runs down a flight of stairs. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Hunts gets chased by goons and runs into a cathedral. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Jumps off a club balcony and runs through the club. Born on the Fourth of July - Rain running. It’s nice and awkward. War of the Worlds - Street crack running. Edge of Tomorrow - How about a little PT? Fun running scene. The Mummy - Cruise runs and jumps around the top of the building. Good running and crawling. The Last Samurai - Runs around during a nighttime battle and saves a life. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs to catch a train. Renner has good running form btw. Knight and Day - Runs, jumps, runs, jumps, hangs. - Good stuff. Risky Business - I like the wide shot of him running into his school - You can see the running skill. Edge of Tomorrow- Following a sweet roll he runs alongside a truck and is very pleased with what he pulled off. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - He runs/walks/limps to fight Walker. Mission: Impossible 2 - He runs and does a nice roll so he can sneak into a vent. War of the Worlds - He can’t outrun a giant alien machine. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He and Colby run away from a dude. Colby got jacked for this movie. Knight and Day - Runs on the beach while explosions go off behind him. Mission: Impossible II - He runs up to a goon and kicks him. Oblivion - He runs and jumps over a gap (doesn’t make it). The Last Samurai - He uses his explosiveness to save people during an ambush. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He runs, climbs up a car, jumps onto a balcony and keeps running. Good work Tom. The Outsiders - He runs outside a house and does a flip off of a car- Athletic kid. Top Gun: Maverick - Treadmill running. Mission: Impossible III - Street sprinting to grab the Rabbit’s Foot. Oblivion - Running on a circular treadmill. Top Gun: Maverick - Cruise runs away from a helicopter that is shooting at him. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Hunt starts limping and then breaks out into a run and then he jumps over some shrubs. War of the Worlds - Leather jacket running. The Last Samurai - CHARGE! Dead man running. Mission: Impossible - He does some solid slick cobbled road running. Mission: Impossible - He climbs a fence and sprints down an alley - the cops have zero chance of catching him. Nice crane shot - the scene ends with him running into a phone booth. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Sand running. Mission: Impossible 2 - Rips off a mask whilst running. Edge of Tomorrow - Beach running followed by him getting hit by a truck - Love it. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs after villains to get the MacGuffin. Mission: Impossible III - Running moment heavily featured in the trailer in which an explosion knocks him into a car. Oblivion - He runs and jumps and shoots - It’s fun. The Mummy - He runs through a library while glass shatters around him. The Mummy - They run through London avoiding sand. Mission: Impossible - He runs up some stairs and along a bridge to find Voight - He also runs towards Sara after a few beats. I included them together. Vanilla Sky - Labored and odd running. Crane shot - Trippy running - REM - Slick streets. Minority Report - Running through the streets while pre-crime ads play - Good expository run. All the Right Moves - You are not god! Lots of running and acting. Good stuff. Cocktail - He uses his breakaway speed to sneak past a doorman and into an elevator. Oblivion - He runs away from a fireball - Good jump. The Last Samurai - He tries to teach some kids how to play baseball - “You gotta get the ball!” Mission: Impossible 2 - He runs, picks up Dougray and slams him. Far and Away - While running he slips on something and almost wipes out. Far and Away - He runs and tackles a guy who stole Nicole Kidman’s spoons. Collateral - Staircase running followed by lobby running. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Running/limping after a car. Mission: Impossible III - I love a good running charge moment. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Ethan and Ilsa run out of the opera (he grabs a rope). Then they run across the building (he takes off her shoes) and they use a rope to get out of the area. Top Gun: Maverick - Cruise runs to an airplane hanger and says “Let’s start running.” Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs away from the Kremlin explosion. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He and Colby run through an open park and she is outpacing him. Minority Report - Great run and spin. Jack Reacher - He grabs a rock, runs towards a guy and knocks him out. SPEED. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - As a train falls off a cliff, Cruise runs up it (Think Furious 7). Mission: Impossible 2 - Runs in slow motion towards a helicopter and misses it. He then does a flip whilst running to shoot a goon. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - He and a couple people run away from thugs. I like the way it’s shot. Good parallel running between the groups. Mission: Impossible 2 - Beach fight running. - several instances during the same scene. Mission: Impossible III - Skyscraper running. Edge of Tomorrow - He can’t outrun a fiery death on a beach. Oblivion - He sprints to take the battery out of a drone. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Hunt and Ilsa run around. The Color of Money -- He kicks a guy in the balls, makes himself big and runs out of a bar. It’s fun. Oblivion - He runs up a sand dune and then he runs down the dune to meet his clone. Impressive sand running. Top Gun: Maverick - He runs a long distance through the woods in the freezing cold.I like the overhead shot. Good work. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Hunt runs with a limp and stops to catch his breath. It’s nice. He does more limp running which is nice - He then explodes through some glass. Taps - Running with a group of people and he looks like the best runner. Excellent posture. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Venice running featuring Cruise jumping over a boat. Then, he’s given the wrong directions by the Entity. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Hunt and Ilsa run and jump over a car. They are like a pair of raptors. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - “I am terribly sorry.” He interrupts a funeral whilst being chased. The Mummy - While running away from the mummy he hops a stone fence and leaves his lady friend behind. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - He runs through kitchen grease and jumps into another train car. Born on the Fourth of July - Slow motion beach running. It’s tense. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - He runs to jump kick on a henchmen and then lands on Ilsa. Mission: Impossible 2 - Runs in slow motion (through some doves) and lands a sweet kick. - Fun Woo stuff. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning - Venice running to get to Ilsa. War of the Worlds - Funny moment in which he’s enjoying the “Storm” but then lightning hits and he runs into his house. Mission: Impossible III - Cruise literally runs up a wall. Risky Business - He runs to catch his egg - It’s intense. Oblivion - He runs up to his clone and punches him in the face - Good acceleration on sand. Mission: Impossible III - He runs and jumps off a Shanghai building. War of the Worlds - Dead cow jumping. All the Right Moves - Snags an interception and runs through two players to score a touchdown. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - He runs and jumps onto the wing of a plane. The Firm - Chases after Abbey - This is the first time we ever get to see Tom’s super running form. Top 25! Collateral - Subway running followed by a beautiful jump - Dude is pissed. - 01:46:10 The Mummy - “Slip in, slip out. Just like we always do.” Then it cuts to them being shot at whilst running away. - 00:10:15 Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Keep going straight? - He runs into an office building and smashes a window. 01:34:53 Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Why is he running in a circle? Great overhead shot of cruise sprinting up stairs, losing the goons, and running around the upper floors of the cathedral. - 01:32:59 Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Roof running and two amazing jumps. - 01:33:48 Mission: Impossible - Fallout - During the bathroom fight Hunt runs at a guy and slams him through a wall. Great stuff. I love how he really doesn’t want to do it. - 00:32:38 Minority Report - Runs up to the house and has to stop a potential murder. - 00:15:28:00 Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - Runs away from the Burj Khalifa - Looks awesome. Brad Bird shoots it from every angle. I love how the camera looks up at him. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - “Ethan he’s getting away from you, you’re going to have to go faster! - Cruise absolutely books it during a roof run that ends with the jump that broke his foot. Epic. - 01:34:20 Jerry Maguire - Airport running. - 02:06:05 Mission: Impossible II - He runs in slow motion so he can jump out of a building - Wonderful - 01:25:58 - He also runs while holding two guns (and shooting them at the same time). Awesome hair work Risky Business - He takes a drunk guy out of a train and runs back into it. - 01:20:45 Days of Thunder - He races Robert Duvall - It’s a good time. 01:42:54 War of the Worlds - Cruise runs away from the aliens. Amazing scene. - The aliens are silly for thinking they can blow Cruise up. Dude has ash all over his face. - 00:26:29 Collateral - Runs out of a hospital and across an overpass. When he starts running I don’t think he'll ever look faster on screen. - 00:52:25 10. Edge of Tomorrow - “Arrest this man.” - In an all-timer Cruise moment, he tries to escape arrest and It ends badly - 00:07:58 - YouTube Clip Moments before Brendan Gleeson’s character yells “Arrest this man,” Tom Cruise delivers an all-timer Cruise moment in which this dialogue is delivered: “I just inspired millions of people to join your army. And when the body bags come home and they’re looking for someone to blame, how hard do you think it would be for me to convince people to blame you? I’d imagine the general would prefer to avoid that.” Cruise enters Gleeson’s office with total confidence and he quickly becomes a slimy rat whose escape attempt ends quickly. It’s perfect and it makes his heroic transformation more interesting. Director Doug Liman did a great job weaponizing Cruise’s charm in this scene, and It’s fun watching a guy who can’t escape an office building becoming a world-saving soldier. 9. The Firm - The final chase scene. He runs, jumps, goes up steps and this is when we get to see his true breakaway speed AND he’s holding a briefcase. 02:12:23 - YouTube Clip The Firm is Cruise’s first film to fully showcase his soon-to-be-famous running form (elbows and knees). We get a glimpse of it at the 68-minute mark when he’s chasing down Jeannie Tripplehorn. But, it’s not until the climactic chase that we see his breakaway speed for several minutes as he’s running away from Tobin “Jigsaw” Bell. 8. Far and Away - In a neat transition, Cruise starts running so fast that the next shot is of an explosion. Talk about explosive running. 01:40:13 - YouTube Clip I love how Ron Howard cuts from a sprinting Tom Cruise to an explosion. It’s silly and it always puts a smile on my face. I also love that the movie ends with the Land Run of 1893. 7. Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation - Cruise wipes out while trying to jump over a car. It is very funny and the MI score helps make it better - 01:12:58 - YouTube Clip “This is Mission: Impossible, I can’t just cross a street and get in a car.” - McQuarrie talking about a conversation he had with Cruise on the Rogue Nation commentary. When putting together the top 10 I always knew that this three-second moment would be included. It’s a silly moment punctuated by cheeky musical accompaniment and it proves that Cruise doesn’t take himself seriously. It’s made even better by the knowledge that Cruise came up with this bit on the day and he surprised the crew with his ill-fated car jump. Also, the ensuing dialogue (What are you talking about?) is delightful. At this point in his career, Cruise was on a hot streak and it’s fun knowing that he was still totally down to make himself look like a dork. 6. Mission: Impossible - Fallout - Iconic run across the building punctuated by a beautiful tracking shot - Dude looks amazing and he almost catches Cavill - 01:36:25 - YouTube Clip “I loved doing this, but it hurt.” - Tom Cruise - Fallout Blu-ray commentary. Watching Cruise run across The Blackfriars Railway bridge is an all-timer Cruise moment for multiple reasons. It looks great and is a perfect trailer moment “I’m jumping out of a window.” - Great line - I love the reaction he gets from the people in the office. They Tom was still recovering from the ankle break he suffered during a jump gone awry Director Christopher McQuarrie said - “He was going for it.” The score rules It’s a bit gratuitous but the running makes sense in regards to the story. 5. Mission: Impossible - Cruise runs from an exploding restaurant and does his first “I look awesome while running in an action film” work. - 31:59 - Lots of fish die….. YouTube Clip That one was particularly very crazy - Talking about the scene on The Graham Norton Show Tom Cruise was already a big star in 1996, but this moment made him a gigantic “action movie” star. He had been in Top Gun (sitting in a plane), Legend (lots of rolling and crouch running), Days of Thunder (more sitting), Far and Away (boxing), and The Outsiders (fisticuffs), but Mission: Impossible saw him entering a new phase of his career. This moment was everywhere in 1996 and it’s one of the most iconic images of the Mission: Impossible franchise. It gets added points because the stunt looks legitimately dangerous and features some solid arm work from Tom. 4. Risky Business - A cigarette-smoking Cruise (wearing sunglasses at night) runs up to some teenagers while the song “Mannish Boy” plays on the soundtrack This is the moment when Cruise became Tom Cruise - 01:07:26 - YouTube Clip (starts at 53 seconds) Wearing a suit coat, black shirt, black sunglasses and puffing on a cigarette, Cruise is strutting down the street and runs up to a group of classmates. The moment lasts only seven seconds, but it’s a turning point for Cruise. Also, the song selection is perfect. 3. Vanilla Sky - Cruise runs through an empty Times Square - 00:03:37 - YouTube Clip The groundwork for the Times Square running in Vanilla Sky was set up in the 1996 film Jerry Maguire. In the Cameron Crowe-directed movie, Cruise dramatically runs through an airport - and it looks great. Years later, while filming Vanilla Sky, Crowe and Cruise pulled some strings with the city of New York and were able to close down Times Square for three hours on a Sunday morning in November. The idea was that Cruise’s character hates being alone, and he dreams that he’s alone in one of the busiest places in the world. It’s total vanity, but I love that Cruise has a running scene in an empty Times Square. 2. Collateral - He throws a chair through a glass window, then WIPES out on the chair and just keeps running. It’s his most aggressive running ever. - 01:44:50 - YouTube Clip (starts at 2:37) Collateral not only features the best sitting performance of Tom Cruise’s career, it also features his most aggressive running. Tom’s character Vincent is a straight-up killer and it’s fun watching Cruise as he fully commits to being a coyote who chases down his prey with lightning-fast footwork. There’s a moment towards the end when Vincent is chasing down Max and Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith - running in heels), and he takes a chair to smash a window so he can run through it. However, Cruise mistimed/misjudged the chair’s trajectory and he WIPED out on the chair and fell to the ground. The neat thing is that he springs up immediately and keeps running. It’s a perfect showcase for Cruise’s tenacity and toughness and I love that the unplanned moment made its way into the film - and so does Mann who felt like it added to the realism of Collateral. It’s a seconds-long moment, but I love that nothing can stop Cruise from running. 1. Mission: Impossible III - Cruise runs across some rooftops and then he SPRINTS through a Shanghai fishing village - 01:44:10 - YouTube Clip In 2006, Cruise had been running in movies for 20+ years and had some memorable sprints in War of the Worlds, The Firm, Minority Report, Collateral, and Far and Away. However, his sprinting in M:I 3 (which took 6-7 takes to get perfect) made people sit up and realize they were witnessing cinematic running history. It’s the fastest Cruise has ever looked, and the spidercam rig that was built for the scene works perfectly as it tracks alongside Cruise as he damn near goes plaid on the Shanghai sidewalks. During the Blu-ray commentary, director J.J. Abrams says “I loved watching you run” to Cruise, and I totally agree. It’s apex Tom Cruise running. Make sure to check out my other Reddit data posts if you like this one! Also, if you're bored, I've covered many films on The Movies, Films and Flix podcast (it's available wherever you listen to podcasts). Also, make sure to listen to Deep Blue Sea - The Podcast submitted by /u/LundgrensFrontKick to r/movies [link] [comments]

I (35F) have a loving husband (40M), we’ve been together 10 years and married for 2. We’ve recently decided to start trying for a baby. Little background: I’ve always been 50/50 on having kids, while he is 100% on having at least one. I’m not a supersocial person, after a weekend out meeting with various friends I need the next one to be just me and hubby either staying home or going out just us 2. I also have lots of interests, love reading and watching movies/TV series, and try to workout 3 times a week at home (either bodyweight-workouts or treadmill) just to stay healthy/in shape. For reference, we both work M-F (he also works Saturday mornings) office hours 8.30-12.30 and 14.30-19, so I try to squeeze a workout in the evenings after work-before dinner. We both do chores, him lunch (gets home before me), me dinner, laundry is mine while the floors and trash is his, but we are both a bit lazy with it and let it all accumulate a bit before doing it. All that said, I am a bit scared with what the future holds for me when we’ll have a baby. I am dreading the death of my current self. I am worried my husband will get lazy with baby-related chores, or go down the route of weaponized incompetence (sometimes I see him go “but I don’t know how to do it”, even if it’s something as small as cutting vegetables), and I will have to do it all with no time to even take a shower. I worry about looking myself in the mirror and hating what I see, and resenting either my husband and/or the baby for destroying what I’ve took years to come to like. I am terrified of becoming a shell of the person I am, and being not a person anymore but a mom. Just a mom. I don’t feel like I have any maternal instincts. Having a baby is not a decision you can take lightly, it’s definitely not one you can undo if you find motherhood is not for you. The option wouldn’t even be on the table if it wasn’t for my husband, and not because he is the one who wants it and is pushing for it (because he’s not), but because I can only imagine myself become a mom and have a baby with him by my side, and no one else. I have no doubt he’ll be a great dad. I keep going in circles. One day I’m filled with dread, the other I’m like “it’s ok, it’s not rocket science and we’ll do it together”, and another I’m envious that a couple of friends got pregnant before us after we decided to go for it. I don’t know. Help me make sense of it. EDIT: Thank you all for the responses, I have to admit I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. Didn't expect so many different povs, but am slowly reading them all. Some of your comments gave some real food for thoughts, your experiences too. I've come to terms with the fact that we still need to talk about a lot of things (and there goes my belief that we had already eviscerated the topic). I've also realized that a lot of my uneasiness around the topic stems from my being generically lazy with my life, and bit resistant to change. Still, thank you all. submitted by /u/LazyFreckles to r/TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is throwRA12010. He posted in r/relationship_advice and his own page. Thanks to u/docsgtpepper for the rec! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. I am not the Original Poster. This is a long post. Trigger Warning: none that I can see Mood Spoiler: yay communication! Spoiler for the end: wife is NOT cheating- that's the whole reason I chose this post Original Post: October 29, 2024 We have been together for about 10 years and married for 6. We have no kids now but we were planning to start trying pretty much now. We are both very active, going to the gym, eating healthy and are both in relatively great shape. My wife is gorgeous with a phenomenal body but I would probably consider myself maybe a 5 or 6 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale. I realize that. But we have always had a really strong relationship. We started as great friends, realized we were just right for each other, and that developed into true romantic love and devotion. The sex was always fantastic. There were never any issues there with quality or frequency. I was washing my wife’s car, as I do pretty often. In the course of cleaning the interior, I found an open empty condom wrapper under her passenger seat. We don’t use condoms since she had always been on birth control. I am driving myself insane with all the stories and scenarios running through my brain. She spends a lot of time at the gym working with weights and doing her cardio. Like, 3 hours four days a week so there are frequent times when we are apart. She has never given me a reason to suspect she has been unfaithful. I know I have to confront her but I’m scared to death of what might be the truth. She is my world and I can’t imagine starting a family with anyone else. I’m afraid I’m going to break. EDIT TO ADD: Wow. You all are amazing. I am so touched by the DMs and heartfelt responses. I had no idea I would get so many responses so quickly. I wanted to add some details to save me from having to to reply to all the common comments. My wife has never given me a reason to think she has cheated before this. She has always been loving and affectionate and we were looking forward to starting a family very soon. Some have speculated that kids coming soon may have led her to one last fling?? I dont know. Possibly. We are an open book to each other with our finances pretty much entirely tied up as one. She comes from a pretty upper middle class background her parents are very comfortable. I come from a home where my parents were fighting their own demons, and so I didnt get a lot of attention growing up. Not a criticism, it was easy to get lost in the shuffle of my parents problems. We are cordial but not super close. I am way closer to her family and I love her mom and dad and younger sister. Financially we are fine. Together we make about $150k per year. She makes $60k as a law firm assistant I make $90k as an auto technician. We own a house together that we were able to purchase with a down payment from her family. If worst comes to worst I have no interest in fighting for that money. It is theirs and they can have it back if we end up selling the house. Some have commented about the amount of time she is at the gym. We go to separate gyms. She gets off work at 4 and goes straight to the gym where she does a class, then works out with weights and the cardio on the treadmill. I was never suspicious of the time she spends there. By the time she gets home, I am already there and she jumps directly in the shower and then we make dinner together and hang out. As far as a lawyer or an investigator there’s no way I could do that in secret with the way we manage our finances, so that’s out for now. Someone explained to me how to get detailed phone records from Visible so that’s my next step. I will get the records when I have some time to myself and see if there is a number that she’s in contact with a lot that I do t recognize. I’ll try to figure out where to go from there and let you all know. Some of OOP's Comments: [editor's note- there were a lot of comments. I chose a few to demonstrate what the general vibe of the comments were that OOP was responding to.] Commenter: Have you had the car since it was new? Is it possible a mechanic used the car during a service? Did anyone ever borrow the car? Was it ever left unlocked during a vacation? OOP: The ironic thing is I am an auto mechanic by trade. I work at a medium sized independent shop and they allow us to use the facility on our own vehicles after hours. So I have done 100% of the maintenance on the car. And I wash and clean the car pretty often so there is NO way I would have missed it on a previous cleaning. Commenter: Also get tested! OOP: Good thought. Thanks. Oh man I am shaking right now. Commenter: Being at the gym for three hours a day was already probable cause to suspect cheating. Working out just doesn't take that long. Unless the gym is 45 minutes away. OOP: She goes to a class, then after weight trains by herself and then does cardio on the treadmill or stairmaster. I have been to the gym with her and I can see it can take 3 hours total. Commenter: This broke my heart to read, you sound like a really wonderful man and you don’t deserve any of this. I was cheated on, no one deserves this type of pain. So everyone is saying lawyer up! Catch her in the act! Take her down! Yes, you should do the lawyer part (which I know is so painful, realizing I needed to hire a lawyer was excruciating for me) but honestly, a personal therapist is equally as necessary and productive. I could not do what was right for me, I could not stand up for myself, I would not know how to grieve or mourn my fiancé, I could not have done anything without therapy. OOP: Thanks for the kind words. All this is so unfamiliar to me. Lawyers therapists. I do t know where to start. Commenter: Has she given you any indication that she might be cheating? Finding something like that is pretty hard to deny! OOP: No indication. We have a good relationship and still have great sex. She has always spent way to much time with her nose in her phone so maybe I’ve been oblivious. Dash cams: Ironically both our cars already do have front dash cams. I’ll look at the footage. Commenter: Is there an expiration date on the condom wrapper? How many years out of date is it? OOP: Expiration date is Nov 2025 Commenter: Breathe. You don’t have to do anything RIGHT NOW. You can talk to wife about it. Or you can take time to process it, and talk to her when YOU are feeling more stable. Don’t rush in with big emotions. It’s easier to be fooled, or to do something we regret when our emotions are high. Your future isn’t being decided TODAY. You’re gonna have a lot to work thru no matter the scenario. OOP: I definitely need some time to think about stuff. I am just so confused and my brain is all over the place right now. I’m not ready to confront her right now. Update Post 1: October 30, 2024 (Next Day) Lots of folks asked for an update. Not a whole lot to say but things are getting interesting. I am shaking as I type this. Thanks to everyone in the comments and the DMs for the empathy and well wishes. A lot of good tips and advice too. Man I would hate to piss some of you off. Some of you are vindictive. First off, I found a WRAPPER, not an actual used condom, so the suggestion of DNA testing was not useful. And thanks to u/uhidunno27 for the information about getting detailed phone records from Visible. Today at work during some break time I requested a download of the phone records but it says the request could take up to 45 days. I can’t wait that long. I also drove by her work on my lunch break. I don’t know why or what I expected but her car was there as it normally is. Lots of good advice to track her, get a VAR, look at her phone without her knowing, hire an investigator, a lawyer, etc. I can’t deal with this. I am taking the advice a lot of you had and I’m just going to confront her today when she gets home. As some of you suggested, I plan to just put the condom wrapper on the table in plain sight and watch her body language. I am so scared and nervous I am almost pissing my pants. I am really starting to expect the worst. For me, if she cheated there is zero chance we will stay married. Zero. I don’t care what excuses or reasons or whatever she has, I am 100% done. No therapy, no counseling, nothing. I can’t believe I am typing this. It makes it seem real. I can’t imagine her sucking and fucking some other guy (or guys). That’s an image I could never get out of my head for the rest of my life. As far as assets, we don’t have a lot. We have a pretty nice house that her dad helped us pay for. I’m happy to let her have it with my fair share and paying back her father. Otherwise is bullshit like 2 cars, some furniture and some decent savings that we have both contributed to so I’m willing to split 50/50. The thought of divorce is burning a pit in my gut. I’ll post again after I confront her. Either way I think this thing comes to a conclusion tonight. Mini Update (Same Post, a few hours later) Mini Update: Ok. Instead of sitting here pissing my pants, I wanted to just type few more things to keep busy. I’m sitting here trying to find any other reason to doubt her. The wrapper - it was fairly pristine. Not something stuck on a shoe or sitting in a parking lot. Dashcam - yes I’ve checked the dashcam footage. Nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary. Commutes to work, the gym and home. Maybe a stop or two for typical errands. Grocery store, cleaners. Zero suspicious activity. But she knows there is a dashcam too, so who knows. Maybe she’s just being really careful. The car - yes we bought it used 2 years ago. It is an 2018 Infiniti Q60 coupe. It had an extremely small back seat I can’t imagine sex back there but who knows what motivated people might be capable of. I clean and vacuum it at least once a month so there is zero chance it has been there the whole time. Ironically we usually wash the cars together but this time I happened to be doing it alone. Had she been there this whole thing would probably be over now. Our current state of relationship - it’s really strong as far as I know. She comes home, we share a glass of wine while we make dinner together, talk about our day, cuddle on the couch if we watch a show, we really have what anyone from the outside would be jealous. No feelings of distance, no hiding of phone, and no drop off in sex which has always been and still is great. Her gym time - with as much as she does, it is really reasonable for her to spend 2 1/2 hours at the gym. I’ve gone with her. I’ve seen her work out. It’s pretty extensive and her body shows it. I am so proud of how great she looks and how she takes such good care of herself and encourages me and cares about our health. I’ve never been suspicious about it, maybe foolishly. Yes, she comes home and showers right away but she’s typically sweaty and feels gross. She doesn’t avoid me when she walks in. She will typically come over and greet me with a kiss on the lips and then hit the shower. If she was just having sex with a side piece I think she would be more discreet. We spend almost all of our time together on the weekends. Go for a jog, date nights, happy hour with friends, dinners with family, etc. She has a lot of girlfriends from work and they sometimes go out for a girls night like once every 2 months. But again nothing suspicious. I see the credit card charges so I dont believe she is hiding anything. And her girlfriends are all awesome and I love hanging out with them and their husbands / BFs. I’m torn and getting nervous about talking to her tonight but I gotta get this over with. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: So sorry you are going through this. Among other things I would make sure you have a good support system and keep them in the loop. OOP: The crazy thing is that my best support system is her family. I am very close to her mom and dad and love them like my own parents. They have been so good to me from the beginning. And her younger sister (29F) and her BF are my best friends. I hate to think I could lose all that too. I come from a borderline abusive situation and I’m not at all close to my family. We are cordial at best. Commenter: Have an out prepared. Stay with a friend, rent a hotel room for the night. Just in case it gets ugly. Don’t go in blind and unprepared. OOP: Yeah. I’m not violent or aggressive or anything so there is zero chance of anything getting physical. And I wouldn’t kick her out - I still love her and want her to be safe. I would leave instead if it even comes to that. Commenter: Why tf you haven’t snooped her phone yet is beyond me. Multiple threads on here, but not even one peek at her communications. What a waste. OP is gonna just let her set the stage and never even bother to know the truth. 😔 OOP: I found the wrapper day before yesterday and haven’t had a chance to check her phone since. Not sure I want to. Commenter (downvoted): Whoooo boi!! What are you going to do if she’s innocent??? What’s she going to think of you and your relationship?? Is she going to stay with you?? OOP: If she’s innocent I can’t imagine she would feel that my suspicion was not reasonable. I may be foolish but I do t think it would impact our relationship Same Commenter (even more downvoted): I’m going to say she’s innocent. And you’re over reacting. You’ve worked yourself self up and are spiraling. Trust your relationship. OOP: On one hand I am spiraling and on the other I am feeling super guilty for doubting her. I am so confused and just want this to be over either way. Update Post 2: October 30, 2024 (10 hours later) This should be my final post on this topic. I took a lot of your advice and decided to just confront her tonight. Sorry for the length, but it was a lot. My wife came home from the gym about 6:45 like always. I was sitting at the kitchen table alone. She came over, said hi, kissed me on the lips and went off to take a shower pretty much like usual. I'm NGL, when she came over to kiss me I smelled really hard for any evidence of "man" scents. Cologne, soap, deodorant, sweat, anything. I got nothing. As she showered I sat by myself a ball of anxiety and damn near chickened out. She got out of the shower and came into the kitchen wet hair, sweats, t-shirt looking beautiful as usual. She sat down like we always do and expected to chat about our day. She could see immediately something was wrong. She asked what's up. I mean, I was shaking and so nervous like you can not believe. I asked have you lent your car to anyone recently? No. Have you had any passengers in your car the last few weeks? She thought for a second and said no. I asked has ANYONE besides you or me been in your car the last few weeks. She said "No. What the hell is going on?" I asked to see her phone. She looked at me weird, said "okaaaaaay" and just slid the phone to me across the table, no hesitation, and said "what the fuck is going on?" I didn't touch her phone. I took the condom wrapper out of my pocket and set it on the table. She looked at it but had no real visible reaction. I didn't say a word. After a few seconds she said "what the hell is that" I said its a condom wrapper. She said "it's obviously a condom wrapper. what the fuck is a condom wrapper doing on our kitchen table?" She was starting to get annoyed. She is either a really good actor or she sincerely had no idea what was happening. I told her I found it under her car seat while I was cleaning her car. She honestly looked dumbfounded. She said she had no idea how it got there. She really seemed sincere and was starting to get concerned. She asked if I thought it was hers. I said "I'm not sure, is it?" She said "you have got to be kidding me. you seriously think I'm fucking around on you? are you crazy? what the hell is wrong with you?" She took her phone and waved it at me and said "Here. please. look at my phone. call my sister (who she shares EVERYTHING with) call any of my friends. I'm not sure what you want me to say." We sat in silence very uncomfortable for a minute or two. I didn't take my eyes off her looking for any sign like a tear. I said "what would you think if the roles were reversed?" she admitted she would probably be suspicious but would give me the benefit of the doubt. she literally went through every day the past couple of weeks, where she went, who she was with, what she was doing trying to come up with any explanation. She finally remembered and after work thing that they did for a friend of hers - a baby shower kind of thing at a restaurant after work. one of the girls at her office was invited but couldn't go and so she asked my wife to please take her gifts to the party. my wife said sure. they walked down to my wife's car to put the gifts in and my wife's stuff was in the front passenger seat. As I said, the car she drives (Infiniti Q60) has a tiny back seat and access to that back seat is ridiculously difficult. As her friend was putting the gifts in, she spilled her purse all over the floor behind the passenger seat. That was the only possibility she could think of. As I sat there she insisted we call that friend immediately and she did just that. She put her friend on speaker phone. she asked her if she remembered when she spilled her purse. she answered yes. she asked if she was sure she got everything picked up off the floor. She answered "I think so. Why?" My wife then seriously asks "Do you and {BFs name} use condoms?" Her friend kind of chuckled and said "Yes?" My wife asks what brand and she answered Trojans. Same size too. My wife looked straight into my eyes and asked "When you dumped your purse in my car, is there a chance there were condoms in it?" Her friends said "Yes, its not unusual for me to have condoms in my purse. Why?" My wife told her friend about the wrapper. Her friend said she doesn't know why she would have an empty wrapper in her purse but it is certainly possible. She hung up the phone and looked at me and asked if I would like to go through her phone. I said no and she asked "mystery solved?" I literally started crying. I was crying because I was so so so fucking relieved. I was crying because I am married to the most awesome woman in the world who loves ME more than anything. And I was crying because I was racked with guilt that I thought she could be cheating. I felt miserable for how I must have made HER feel. My incredible wife took it so well. She hit me with her dish towel and said "Jesus Christ. I cannot believe you could think I would cheat on you." But she admitted again she may have felt the same in my shoes. She even laughed a little and said it was kind of cute that I was so jealous and nervous about asking her about it. We decided to have our glass of wine and go out for dinner. At dinner we talked about how excited we were to start trying for a baby. I am 100000% percent sure she is telling the truth. I know her. I know her like nobody else. I know her body language. I know her voice and how it sounds when she is stressed or hiding something. There was none of that. I hope none of you have to go through this but thanks for all the well wishes. I will probably let my wife read this thread at some point, but not while its still so fresh. Plus she'll probably rib me for going to Reddit for advice, she's not necessarily a fan. Haha. So all is good. Really REALLY good. Have a great life everyone! Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Phewww!!! Glad it all worked out, you both know what you have now!! OOP: She is the best. Our relationship has always been so strong now I am kicking myself for ever even thinking the worst. Commenter: Stay off Reddit dude. I've seen too many posts where the toxicity of this place ruins relationships. OOP: Haha. My wife feels the same way. I haven’t shown her these posts yet, but I will when it’s not so raw. I’m sure she’ll roll her eyes and scold me for being on Reddit. Commenter: To be blunt, I don’t think you should show your wife these posts. She’s forgiven you, this time, but you were so far removed from giving her the benefit of the doubt you were considering stalking your wife instead of just talking to her. That is unacceptable. I think you need to do a bit of self examination of why your initial reaction to something fairly mundane was so strong, and stay away from asking for advice on sites like this. OOP: You could be right. But honestly I don’t think finding a condom wrapper in your partners car is “fairly mundane”. Idk, maybe that’s just me. Commenter: It’s incredibly mundane. Could’ve been stuck to a shoe, or as is the case was dropped by a friend. So why did you immediately jump to checking her dash cam footage? Driving by her work? Mentally preparing for divorce and dividing assets? She’s forgiven you right now because she doesn’t know you did those things, and that you had so little faith in her you were considering paying for a PI. That would be a relationship ender, personally. OOP: Yeah. You make a lot of sense. My initial reaction wasn’t the best and I’m sort of embarrassed by it all now. You just can’t imagine how scrambled my brain was. Commenter: IKNEWIT! As soon as you laid out your relationship details in the previous update I had a suspicion it wasn't cheating. There are almost always SOME sort of changes, increase/decrease in affection, increase/decrease in outward confidence, schedule changes, etc. Either your wife was going to be one of the most impressive (for lack of a better word) cheaters in the world who made the biggest, dumbest oversight, or it was gonna be something else. Very glad it panned out this way. Your wife sounds cool as hell also. OOP: So true. Man I now feel kind of foolish and guilty for immediately jumping to such an extreme conclusion with literally zero reason or signs. But the mind is a funny thing. She forgave me right away. We got back from dinner last night and she called her sister and started with “you’re never going to believe what this knucklehead thought.” She’s a keeper and I’m a lucky guy. Commenter: The biggest takeaway I got from your post is that you were seriously overthinking and spiralling, and created a fake scenario in your head. Any past traumas? Abandonment issues? OOP: Wow. You are so right. I feel foolish and guilty for jumping to the most extreme conclusion immediately with zero previous signs or reasons. Trauma? I don’t know. I could probably stand some therapy. I had a pretty weird childhood. We moved a lot and never had money or nice things. My parents stayed together but didn’t have a very loving relationship. I didn’t get a lot of attention when I was a kid cause my parents always seemed to be dealing with their own problems. Not a lot of time for kids. That probably fucked me up. I do t have a great relationship with my parents today. I’d say we are cordial at best. My wife’s parents are much more like my parents than my own. I absolutely adore them and they would do anything for me. Commenter: A number of elements feel like storytelling rather than recounting after/during a time of suspected betrayal and emotional intensity. “She hit me with a dish towel and said…” reads to me like “and then everyone in the restaurant applauded”. I don’t believe it. Likewise, your detached assessment of your wife’s appearance, with little mention of other qualities, does not read like an aggrieved long-time spouse processing betrayal and evaluating possibility of divorce. I just don’t believe it. Apparently there are a ton of weirdos on here who post fictional stories and act out fictional characters. I can’t imagine why, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. OOP: Ok. Legit comments. I think the mentioning of her physical appearance gets to my insecurity about how much more attractive she is than me and I guess I’ve maybe always thought she could do better. The dish towel comment? It happened. What can I say. I was just trying to emphasize how easily this thing rolled off back after it was resolved. But thanks for reading and commenting. OOP reflects: It’s funny. Going back and rereading my posts with some distance, I can see that I am somewhat insecure. I have put her on such a pedestal, and feel like she is so much more of a catch than me. That’s not healthy and probably something I need to work on with her help. My intense fear when I consider losing her is likely tied to some subconscious t thought that I could never do better. Yet she had NEVER done ANYTHING to make me feel that way. The way she looks at me and treats me, it’s like she thinks SHE could never do better. She is so humble but I can’t believe she doesn’t know how awesome and beautiful she is. I need to have some confidence that I am worth her love. Idk. This situation has really opened my eyes. Bonus Post: November 2, 2024 (3 days later) I am a a guy that found a condom wrapper in his wife’s car. You can read the posts and updates on my profile. The condom situation had a happy ending, but my initial reaction upon finding g the wrapper was concerning to both my wife and I. We have a really solid relationship both physically and emotionally. In our 10+ years of our relationship, she has NEVER giving me any indication of anything other than 100% love, faithfulness and devotion to me. Despite this, my reaction was to immediately jumped to the worst case scenario and it really caused me to panic and spiral. You can read the panic in my posts. My wife has been so understanding and in supportive and we have talked a LOT. First off, she reiterated that if I EVER have any concerns about anything, I need to talk to her. But otherwise we talked a lot about WHY this was my initial thought. We talked about the fact that I have ALWAYS considered her just absolutely beautiful and way more attractive than me. We talked about how she constantly garners the attention of guys whenever we are out in a social situation. Movies, bars, restaurants, I constantly see the eyes of men on her. And with good reason. She is a 12 out of 10. I mean that in all seriousness. Guys are surprised when they see her and realize she is with me. I think (know) I am insecure, anxious, defensive, and lack confidence about that specific aspect of our relationship. She says I am crazy. She has eyes only for me, showers me with love, physical affection and attention when we are out. Makes it obvious she is not interested in flirting with anyone. She is unfazed and unimpressed with guys’ attention or flirty comments. She says I am wrong about my looks and she thinks no man on earth is better looking than me. So here’s the crux. Would I benefit from therapy? Single therapy or couples? Any kind of therapist I should be looking for? I am really willing to give this a try. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: your post made me cry because i sincerely wish my husband had shared your introspection and willingness to change. he was kinda like you, thought i was out of his league even though i sincerely thought he was sexy and handsome and i only had eyes for him, never even came close to cheating on him but i was constantly accused. i definitely think therapy would benefit you. idk if individual or couples would be better, but i wish you and your marriage the best. OOP: Thank so much for your thoughtful reply. She is my world and I just think subconsciously I feel that I somehow lucked out with her “settling” for me. I know she doesn’t feel that way, and she has told me often. She really is crazy for me. It’s just troubling I guess knowing every time we go out it that 90% of the men there would love to bang her. It’s intimidating, if that makes sense. There’s always this sense of dread that she can have any guy she wants and someday she’s going to choose someone else. OOP replies to a long comment: Thanks for this. Yes, I think I am pretty self aware and understand precisely what my insecurities are. I am just wanting some tools to help me navigate and get more confidence in myself. My wife is really helping now that she understands better. I do t think she really knew I felt until this incident, which is on me. I never really discussed it with her before. One more thought from OOP: I wonder if I have some PTSD from how I grew up. Fear of abandonment. I don’t know. You could never know today by knowing me how I grew up. I thought that part of my life was totally behind me. Who knows. Again, do NOT comment on Original Posts. Editor's note: Marked as concluded because the situation OOP originally posted about is answered. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA-Girlfriend Originally posted to r/relationship_advice & OOP's own page Previous BoRU: 1 originally posted by Dramatic_Box1490 [New Update]: My (25M) girlfriend's (25F) sex drive has completely disappeared + 4 year update NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH---- Editor’s note: adding some relevant comments for more context Thank you to u/arifault for help with the glossary and definitions Glossary: PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome: a chronic hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age. It's characterized by hormonal imbalances, irregular periods, and cysts in the ovaries PCOD = Polycystic Ovarian Disease: a common endocrine disorder that affects women's reproductive systems, caused by a combination of genetics and hormonal imbalances RECAP Original Post: September 10, 2020 Pretty much the title. I'm very concerned about her at this point and I have no idea what to do. Back in April-ish, we were having sex 2-3 times a day. We live in an apartment together, she's been taking online classes for her Master's and I'm working from home since the lockdown started. At some point, she got really busy and tired with a project, so we obviously stopped having sex temporarily. Since it's gotten over though (which was nearly 4 months ago at this point), she's turned me down every time I've tried to initiate or set the mood for sex. I have NEVER pressured her, I usually wait a couple of nights before asking again when she tells me she's not in the mood, which turned into waiting a week, which turned into waiting two weeks. At this point I'm really concerned, we've never gone anywhere near 4 months without sex before, we've both always had pretty high sex drives. At this point it's important to note that I do NOT press the matter or pester or pressure her in any way. The moment she says she's not in the mood, I back off immediately. I don't think I've fucked up anywhere because she's always quite apologetic when she turns me down. Our relationship is pretty much perfect in every other way too, we cuddle and hug and have game nights and movie nights, it's never felt like we're drifting apart at any point. She hasn't been behaving differently, like she's upset or depressed. We give each other plenty of space too, it's not like we're constantly together, we have our own friend circles and we curl up on our own devices from time to time. I've tried talking to her about it, but she gets really upset and keeps insisting that nothing is wrong. I drop the matter pretty quickly too because I don't want her to feel like I'm pressuring her to have sex. I just want her to let me in and tell me what's wrong. I honestly don't care about the sex, but I know there's something she's not telling me and it's gone on long enough that I'm getting extremely worried about her. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: If I was in your place, I too wouldn't pressure her for sex, but I damn well would pressure her for an explanation. From 2 to 3 times A DAY to not at all for 4 months? I would need answers, even if she was upset at having the conversation. It's OK to want (or not want) things in a relationship, but not communicating is not ok. OOP: Thanks for the response. I don't want her to feel pressured or accused of anything but I do want an explanation. Do you have any advice on how I can be sort of firm but also make her feel comfortable at the same time? Commenter 2: It’s been a very stressful year for everyone, she’s probably just feeling the pressure. I wouldn’t worry that much, if it really bothers you try doing small intimate things: head massage, cuddle etc. OOP: We've been cuddling and I've been giving her shoulder massages on a fairly regular basis, and she seems very content and happy. Everything seems completely normal except this. I want her to atleast talk about this. Could the girlfriend being dealing with a prior traumatic experience? OOP: I keep worrying about a traumatic experience too, but what? We almost never leave home because of the pandemic. One of us goes occasionally to get groceries but that's about it. I'm honestly at a loss and she's not talking to me about it. Is the girlfriend taking any medication that might be affecting her moods? OOP:No, she isn't taking any medication   Update #1: September 13, 2020 (three days later) Thanks to everyone who replied to my previous post. There were some mixed responses, with some people suggesting I insist on addressing it with her because she's hiding something, with others recommending I give her time to open up on her own. Ultimately I decided to sort of go for a combo of the two. Friday, when we were both done with work, we sat down and had a discussion. I told her that I could give her the space and time she needed till she was ready to talk to me about it, but I couldn't leave it unaddressed. She needed to acknowledge that there atleast WAS something that she didn't feel ready to tell me, and that was fine, but she atleast needed to acknowledge its existence, if only so I stopped feeling like I was going crazy. She started sobbing when I was done and then she started explaining everything. Some background that I didn't mention in my previous post because it didn't really seem relevant is that my girlfriend has PCOD. One of the consequences of this is that she finds it very difficult to lose weight and has been insecure about her body for most of her life. About a year ago (completely of her own choice, I have always told her that she's beautiful to me no matter what her weight), she resolved to start losing weight, both for her health and to feel better about her body. She started going to the gym a couple times a week, and I was supportive and also cut out all my own junk food consumption in solidarity. Since the lockdown started and gyms shut, apparently she started slowly gaining some weight back due to stress eating and lack of exercise. I am ashamed to say I did not even notice that she was torturing herself over her weight all this while. She admitted that she stopped having sex because she was terrified I would stop finding her attractive after seeing her naked. I reassured her that I think she's gorgeous and attractive no matter what and I tell her this everyday, but she was afraid that would have changed once I saw the weight she had put on. The rest of the conversation consisted of me reassuring her that she's beautiful and her appreciating but not really believing me. After a bit, she asked me to change the topic, and I reluctantly agreed. We had a fairly quiet dinner, she was a little sad and relieved at the same time at having told me, I think. And I was busy scheming. The next morning before work I told her she looked lovely again and she gave me a wan smile, like she appreciated it but didn't really believe me. But that was okay. I was gonna convince her. I asked her to pick up the groceries that evening because I was gonna have a meeting run late. The moment she left home, I got to work. I dug out some fairy lights and a bunch of candles from storage and started setting them up in the living room. Made a couple of playlists and charged the speaker. Snuck down to the florist and bought a giant bouquet. Some more background, I hate dancing because I suck massively at it, while my girlfriend loves it. She used to go dancing every month or two with her girlfriends before lockdown. I'd join in sometimes because it was worth how happy it made her, but she definitely missed it way more than me. So when she got back, naturally I greeted her with what were probably the most ridiculous dance moves in the history of mankind. I'm not gonna lie, folks. She laughed. She laughed a lot. She took a short video, and we both laughed while watching it later. My movement resembled a five year old practicing kung fu more than it resembled dancing, and I had stuck a rose in my ear for maximum ridiculousness. Totally worth it, though. I have no idea how she ever thought she's ugly, her smile is just so fucking radiant. We danced like idiots for a while before I switched to the slow dance playlist. It was definitely the happiest I'd seen her in a long time. I'd been a bad boyfriend and somehow missed how much she missed everything else. I should have done it months ago. I told her all this. Told her she's the most beautiful woman in my eyes and always will be. And yeah, we had sex. Last night was all about her. She needed to feel special and I had been missing that for too long. I offered to make dance nights a weekly thing afterwards. Kind of as a substitute for the workouts she's been missing, if she wants. She tore up a little, she knows how much I hate dancing. She told me that wasn't necessary. Apparently sex is just as much of a workout as dancing. And we have a lot of missed workouts to catch up on. I'm certainly not complaining. In all seriousness though, I'm gonna dip into my savings a little and order a home treadmill. She can't afford one right now because of college bills, so I'll surprise her with it :) Thank you to everyone who helped me out with their advice! Edit: Oh wow, I am completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support here. Thanks for all the awards! I just logged back into this account but I promise I'm going to read each of the replies. One thing I saw pop up a couple of times that I just wanna reassure you guys about is that she's mentioned wanting a treadmill but not being able to afford one several times in the past, so I know she wants one. However, I figured that it's dumb to take the chance, and one surprise was good enough, and if there's anything this whole experience has taught me, it's the importance of communication. So I'm going to bring it up at dinner tonight that I comfortably have enough saved up to purchase a home workout machine (since I saw cycles/ellipticals being mentioned, we'll figure out which one we want!), and that I'd love to buy one for our home for both of us to use. Thank you all so much once again for your advice! Edit 2: RIP me, lol, the comments are coming faster than I can read them now. There's no way for me to reply to every one of them, unfortunately. There are a lot of fantastic suggestions for diets, exercise machines, dance classes and everything in between, so thank you so much for all of them! She has a great endocrinologist, who's advice she will ultimately be following, but there are some great points to bring up with him. It is really touching and overwhelming to see all this support. Thank you all so much! Final Edit: She loved the idea of getting some equipment to do our workouts at home together, so we're going to sit down and do our research tonight before picking the one we like most. We've gotten some fantastic advice here and we'll be looking at ellipticals, bikes, rowing machines, Just Dance on the Switch and a bunch of other stuff that you guys suggested. To all the people who commented to insist she's cheating on me because I'm a simp (lmao), thank you for setting the exemplary standard for being macho. Insulting strangers online is so delightfully masculine. The lovely folks who told me to dump her "because she's fat" get the "disappointing but not unexpected shitheads" shout-out as well. For the overwhelming majority of people, though, I am just breathtaken by the kind and supportive comments we've gotten. Thank you for the treasure trove of advice and LPTs, and all the love! You folks are amazing! Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Dance lessons, a great thing Todo as a couple. OOP: Shhh, don't give her ideas! But in all seriousness, probably after the pandemic. It is long overdue for me to fix my woeful dance abilities haha OOP clarifies the differences between PCOS and PCOD OOP: Hey! PCOS and PCOD differ just slightly and can often be mistaken for each other since they have very similar symptoms. PCOS is caused by a disorder in the endocrine system, which controls the hormonal balance of the body, whereas PCOD is due to a hormonal imbalance rather than a system issue. I'm very sorry to hear you have it. I wish you the best of luck dealing with it. OOP should make sure his girlfriend is okay with getting a treadmill or it could be a major setback for her. Because she hasn’t asked for anything yet to help with her weight OOP: You make a great point, and even though she's explicitly mentioned wanting one before, this was the comment that convinced me to bring it up with her rather than try to surprise her again. I'm going to frame it as buying one for our home for the both of us to use, so she doesn't feel targeted or guilty about me spending money. Thank you so much for the advice! OOP was advised to bring up a possible PCOS/PCOD related issue to his girlfriend’s doctor. She might have issues with low progesterone levels which could be the root cause OOP: Oh wow, thanks for the heads up! I will definitely bring this up with her and we'll book a consultation ASAP. She has a regular endocrinologist already who's been very good up to this point.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update: We got married!: December 24, 2024 (four years later) Hi everyone! I spotted an end-of-year email from Reddit for this account, which reminded me of the existence of this throwaway, and I decided to do a quick Christmas Eve update on my profile page in case anyone was still interested, because a lot has happened in 4 years. We're both doing well! We got engaged about three years ago and adopted a cat, but it went a bit downhill from there because of a bunch of different health issues that hit her consecutively. She's largely recovered from the temporary ones, and the permanent ones are a lot more under control now thanks to regular health checkups and medication, but it was a rocky couple of years (not for our relationship, just for us in general). All the medical issues also meant she hasn't worked since, which isn't an issue financially but for other reasons which I'll come to in a moment. She's doing a lot better mentally now as well, atleast relative to last year. She still struggles with self-esteem and feeling like a burden to her loved ones, especially me, especially because of the aforementioned lack of work over the last few years. She's a lot more communicative about these things now though instead of bottling them up, so she's not let our relationship suffer for this. And I like to think that even if her self-esteem hasn't gone up, her way of coping with it is a lot healthier now, and that's an important step in the right direction. She's even been looking to get back to work over the last month or so, despite the challenges of low self-esteem, severe imposter syndrome, and having to explain a years-long absence, and I'm really proud of her for not just giving up after the hand she's been dealt health-wise. I'm doing really well! I switched jobs and fields about a year back and I'm making a lot more money now, and I'm enjoying my work a lot more too. I actually started therapy recently as well, because there were some personal discipline issues I wanted to fix, and I ended up discovering a whole host of other issues I had repressed, and bringing them back out into the open and dealing with them has been simultaneously terrifying and liberating. But it's also made me a much better friend and partner, so looks like I'm gonna have to keep braving them for as long as it takes! As for the biggest one (as is probably obvious from the title), we got married two months ago! We would have done it a lot earlier if she hadn't had a bunch of health issues pop up unexpectedly, but with her on the mend, we were finally able to plan and organize the thing so everyone we wanted to be there could be there. I honestly sometimes still find it surreal, like wtf I'm a husband?! It still feels like I'm dreaming sometimes and I'm still that clueless wide-eyed college kid, but I look at the woman sleeping next to me and I remember all the ways I've changed for the better, all the ways I've grown up because of her influence, and I feel really lucky to have her. And I know that I (and she) still have a lot more growing up to do, but I'm feeling this overwhelming contentedness within because we get to do all that growing up together. I don't know if I'll update this again, maybe if I get reminded of this account sometime in the future, and something major has happened since. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone, and I hope the New Year is your best year yet!   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is drunkthrowaway081617. They posted in r/drunk and r/stopdrinking Do NOT comment on Original Posts. This is a fairly long post. Trigger Warnings: alcoholism; relapsing; Mood Spoiler: good ending Original Post: August 16, 2017 Work a typical 8-5 job. Come home and typically drown 1/2-1/3 of a 750ml-1L bottle of rum or whiskey a night. Don't particularly feel like stopping, but leaving it up to the community. Cheers, gonna go get another glass. [editor's note- OOP's post has 72 thousand upvotes as of 2024] EDIT Wow, I honestly didn't expect this overwhelming level of support. I figured given the subreddit, and the topic matter that this would be labeled a shitpost, and downvoted into the void. I didn't post this to farm for karma, or to try to gain anything really, otherwise I wouldn't have used a throwaway. I posted this with the knowledge that I really need to stop, or at least limit my drinking. I set an arbitrary number of upvotes because I didn't expect this score to ever hit a positive threshold. The outpouring of support and advice from the community is far beyond what I ever expected or even dreamed to be possible. I guess this post has really just made me admit something to myself that I've known for awhile. I've been telling myself it was in my best interest to stop drinking. Heck, I even started making attempts to lower my intake prior to my vacation a few weeks ago, and it was going fairly well. My reward for limiting my intake was being bashed over vacation for still drinking "too much". In the real world, I come from a family of alcoholics and drug addicts. I never really get support, rather only criticism. So, I'll wrap this up to say this. I appreciate each and every one of you who left a positive comment, or sent an uplifting message. It really means a lot. My plan is to taper myself off by reducing my intake of alcohol by 1-2 drinks a day for the next 2 weeks. September 1st marks my first sober day in months. A lot of people asked for updates, and I don't quite know where I'd even post such a thing, but I'll probably head over to beginning that day. Again, thank you. EDIT 2 Over 400,000 people have viewed this. As a software engineer, this may be the most prolific thing I've ever written. Literally, more people have viewed this than live in my (somewhat large) city. It's absolutely astounding. I'm committed to bettering myself, and I've seen hundreds of comments from redditors telling me to update them, if anyone has a good idea where updates would be best served, let me know. Update Post 1: September 2, 2017 (2-ish weeks later) Well, I set my goal to be sober by September 1st. I tried to taper down a bit before quitting, but I ended up rushing it a bit to meet my September 1st goal. On Monday I had 6-7 drinks, on Tuesday I had 6, on Wednesday I had 5, and on Thursday I had 3. I spent the last 2ish years consuming a pretty heavy amount of alcohol, and in the last 8 months, I spent nearly no days sober. In fact, April forward, I hadn't spent a single day sober. I limited my drinking to the evenings, but I was consuming roughly 1/2 a 750ml of whiskey an evening, sometimes 1-2 drinks more. I feel alright right now, and I'm just hoping I don't end up developing DTs within the next day or two. My heart rate has remained around 90-100, my anxiety is through the rough, and I feel moderate disassociation. I haven't really had any shakes, hallucinations, and while I do feel a bit nauseous, I haven't vomited. However, I do feel so much better knowing that I was consciously able to limit my drinking leading up to my goal date. I feel good knowing that while there is a lot of alcohol in the house, and that I could easily go open a bottle, I'm making the decision not to. Comment: Commenter: It wasn't until a few days in that I felt ready to pour out my bottle, but I'm so grateful I did it the very minute I felt able to. Didn't delay, didn't overthink it, and now I feel such relief that to drink again would require me to make an effort (I'm lazy, lol. Never thought I'd be thankful for that quality, but I am). OOP: My biggest fear is the rapid onset of severe withdrawal symptoms. That was the main logic behind keeping some alcohol. The other reason is that my girlfriend likes having beer in the fridge for when the mood strikes her. Mini Update (left as edit on OG post): September 9, 2017 (1 week later, 3 weeks from OG post) Been alcohol free since the 1st of the month. Only a bit more than a week in, and things are looking up. I'm more productive at work (and home). I'm taking interest in things outside of work again. It's amazing how much time you actually have left in your day when you're sober. The first 2-3 days were hell. Days 4 and 5 left me feeling more energized. And now I feel pretty much normal. My only real complaint currently is very restless sleep and strange dreams, which in turn cause me to have a horrible time waking up in the morning. Overall things are going well. I'll probably do one final update at the end of the month in this post. All future updates will be in . Update Post 2: September 13, 2017 (4 days later) Title: Small guys night/party at my house this coming weekend, a true test of strength... I've been sober since the first of this month, and honestly it's been pretty easy going. The first few days of withdrawals were incredibly mild compared to what I was expecting. I've spent the last 3 years drinking incredibly heavily. I can pretty confidently say that in the 3 years that I've been of legal drinking age, I probably haven't gone a single FULL week without drinking something, and definitely not more than 2 weeks without getting drunk. In January of this year, things began to spiral out of control. I took a cruise back in January, and spent nearly 2 weeks drinking 15+ drinks a day. Once we got back home, I calmed down a bit. However, as April rolled around, I started drinking more and more, with no sober days in between. It got to a point sometime around mid-April/May that I was consuming more than half a 750ml bottle of whiskey a night, and some nights I was going through more than 0.5L. I can pretty confidently say that from April 1st - August 31st I drank a minimum of 5-6 drinks an evening, and I was probably topping out somewhere in excess of 20-30 on the weekends. I've been telling myself for years that I don't have a problem. For one, I kicked the habit back when I was 18 after a DUI. On top of that, if I ever had to drive or was in a scenario where I needed to drink in moderation, I was more than happy to not drink or to limit my drinks to one per hour. On top of that, for the most part, I constrained my drinking to the evenings (5-11pm), and the only time I deviated from this was when I had the day off work or it was a weekend. Even then, I tried to wait until later in the afternoon. That being said, I had started seeing the physical changes for well over a year. I had gained quite a bit of weight, my sleep was somewhat erratic, I was constantly drenched in sweat, and my motivation to do anything was pretty much abysmal. So here I am, 13 (nearly 14) days in and I feel nearly fine. I've been able to go out to dinner with my girlfriend and opt not to drink even when she is. I have the fridge stocked with plenty of beer, and I've had little to no desire to drink any of them. Don't get me wrong, I nice cold beer at the end of a long day of work sounds like a great way to ease myself into bed, but simply not having one also seems like an equally good, and healthier option. My only real qualm about not having one before bed is that ever since I quit drinking, I simply cannot wake up in the mornings. My alarms go off, I somehow turn them off, but I don't remember a thing. I feel like I'm sleeping ok, but the mornings are brutal. Now on to the real reason I made this post. A few friends asked if I wanted to host the GGG/Canelo fight this Saturday as I'd hosted Mayweather/McGregor, and I have a generally nice place to watch it. I obviously agreed, and had no qualms about doing so. However, my friends enjoy drinking. Not always necessarily in excess, but I do expect the booze to be flowing rather freely. When I host a party, I try to make it a point to stay pretty coherent and sociable, but drinking has always played a key role. Honestly, just thinking about having all my friends over without me having at least a few drinks gives me some pretty serious anxiety. I've had pretty awful social anxiety most of my life, and drinking (even in moderation) makes handling it far more enjoyable for me. I know deep down that if I were to drink Saturday, I wouldn't relapse, I wouldn't overdo it, and I wouldn't throw away my progress I've made. I know this because I've set a goal for myself, and I can consciously control myself when I've set them. That being said, I also set a goal for myself not to drink period, and by breaking that goal, I will feel as if I've failed. Regardless of the fact that I know it'd be a one off thing, I'd still have betrayed my own word. Update Post 3: February 19, 2019 (1.5 years later) Title: Back to sobriety! So a couple years ago I made a drunken post on about stopping drinking. It was a lot of things: a shitpost, a throwaway karma grab, but also a genuine cry for help. That post forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror and gauge what I was doing with my life. I didn't have a problem, I didn't have any real issues, I wasn't an alcoholic. At least, that's what I told myself as a made a beeline to the liquor store at the last minute when I remembered I was out of liquor at home. When I made my original post, I made a statement about getting sober for a year. Truth be told, I fell a bit short. I made it about 2 months before I cracked open another bottle. I didn't immediately dive back into drinking half a liter of liquor a day, but I did start drinking again. At first it was just a few drinks on the weekends. Then one or two some nights during the week. Around the holidays, the inlaws came to visit, and while they were here, I drank a bit heavily. After they left, I didn't really downsize my drinking that much. Around February 2018 I slowed back down. I was still drinking most, if not every evening, but it was only one or two drinks a night. That soon became three or four a night, and I could feel old habits returning. Throughout 2018 I worked on myself a lot, I started going back to the gym every day. I started eating right, and I started addressing my drinking again. By all measures, my drinking was probably at a socially acceptable level, but it wasn't at a personally acceptable level. When I did my yearly company blood draw in October, I was pleasantly surprised that all of my blood work came back fantastic. By all measures, aside from my weight, on paper I looked perfectly healthy. This was a far cry from my horrible blood draws from previous years! However, I still was not super content with my choices. I had initially replaced a significant amount of my drinking with marijuana, but I began mixing both alcohol and marijuana at levels comparable to where I was before. However, this time, something was different. I felt like I had significantly more control over my vices, but it's somewhat difficult for me to explain. However from roughly August to December, I was still using alcohol in moderation, but I felt like I finally had control over it. Starting about 3 weeks ago I finally had my real test. I've begun experiencing strange episodes, they're very similar to panic attacks or anxiety attacks. Currently, my physicians are running every test under the sun and everything everything keeps coming back completely perfect. It's an odd ordeal, but for the time being I'm on some medication to prevent my pulse and blood pressure from randomly spiking. The real test came when I was put on the medication. My physician said that I could likely continue my current lifestyle without any complications. I could continue using all the substances I was using, and I'd be fine. However, I ended up surprising myself. As soon as I started the medication, I stopped everything. And I truly mean EVERYTHING. From the minute I started the medication, I've put down caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, soft drinks, energy drinks, etc. I have been saying this entire time that "I have control", and I had multiple stints where I would stop for weeks or months, but I always had some apprehension to quitting or another vice to turn to. This time it felt different. I still have liquor in the cabinet, beer in the fridge, marijuana in the house, and yet I don't really feel tempted. I can watch my fiancee smoke, and I can mix drinks for my friends and I don't waver in the slightest. I managed to give up all of my biggest vices in a single swoop, and I don't feel a single tinge of hesitance or regret. Comments: Commenter: This is awesome, amazing and so so inspiring. Thank you for sharing, I did indeed find this post by viewing the top posts of and I’m so glad to hear that you didn’t let some small slip ups get the best of you. What do you think it was about the medication that triggered you to make this change? Just a wake up call of truly needing to get your shit together, health wise? (I know that marijuana isn’t unhealthy for you but I don’t necessarily think it’s good for you either, coming from someone getting over a serious marijuana addiction) It is a true testament to your willpower when you can have the substances around, and be around people imbibing and not be tempted. I’m so proud of you stranger, keep on keeping on OOP: I did my yearly blood draw for work back in October 2016 and it was atrocious. Nothing was dangerously high, but they definitely weren't great values for a 23 year old. In 2017, I had taken a break from drinking a couple months prior to my blood draw, and some of my values improved, but it was still pretty mediocre at best. In 2018, I had slowed down my drinking, at least the quantity I drank, but not the frequency. On August 1st, 2018, I hit the highest weight I've ever been. I immediately started making changes. I didn't stop drinking, but I again reduced how much I was having (2-8oz of liquor a day). I was going to the gym 5 days a week, eating better, and just working on being better in general. When I went to do my 2018 blood draw, pretty much everything was great (cholesterol was a but high, but not dangerously so). My blood pressure was normal, my weight was down ~40-45lbs since August, liver enzymes were great, everything was awesome. Over the holidays I skipped the gym, but I did do quite a bit of hiking while on vacation, and still maintained my diet. In fact, I'm still losing weight. When whatever health condition I currently have started affecting me, I simply knew it was time to just put everything down for awhile. I'm dedicated to living a healthier life, and I can't do that if I'm drinking and smoking every single night. I'll gladly go back to smoking on occasion and maybe having a drink here and there at some point in the future, but I'm not going to continue putting my health at risk while being a sedentary lush. Update Post 4: March 3, 2019 (12 days later) Title: 23 days in and still zero desire to drink So I've been 100% sober from all substances (alcohol, cannabis, and caffeine) since February 12th, and I still have zero desire to break the streak. I was getting ready for bed this evening and it occurred to me that despite having a house full of alcohol and cannabis, and a partner that uses both regularly (in moderation), I've had no real desire to use either. I'm more productive than I've ever been, and I'm more than happy to mix drinks for my partner and friends without even the slightest temptation to have some myself. It's a strange sensation. Every other time I've attempted sobriety or taken a break, it has felt like an accomplishment when I managed to avoid drinking for another day. This time is different, I'm not even aware that I'm not drinking. The fact that I made it another day doesn't even cross my mind. I'm not sure what's so different about this time, but it's pretty awesome. Relevant Comments: Commenter: Wow, this is great! What, if anything, do you think made this time different for you? OOP: I'm really not sure. Every other time I've quit, each day felt like an accomplishment. It was like going to the gym; it required conscious effort and thought. This time, it is feels like breathing. It doesn't feel like I need or even want it. I'm fine being sober, and I'm finding things to occupy my time. I don't need the alcohol or cannabis to make things more entertaining or to escape from anything. OOP explains: Honestly, health reasons are my number one reason for getting sober. I don't currently have any alcohol related health issues, and I want to keep it that way. I was tired the daily drinking and the huge time sink alcohol had become. Mini Update (left as an edit on OG post): March 9, 2019 (6 days from previous post, 1 year 7 months from OG post) I figured I'd come back and update everyone. In 2017, after my last update, I stayed sober for a couple months. After that, I felt it was safe to return to drinking in moderation, and I did. For awhile, things were great, I was doing great at moderation. However, after a few vacations, I fell back into the habit of drinking daily. Never as much as before, but still at a frequency I wasn't comfortable with. As of Feb 12, 2019, I'm again taking an extended sobriety break. From all substances (caffeine, cannabis, alcohol, etc). I'll likely return to cannabis at some point in the future, but I'm not sure when or if I'll reintroduce alcohol. I can definitely moderate if I'm conscious about it, but it's when I stop being conscious of it that I begin to slip. It's far easier for me not to take that first drink. Since quitting again, this time feels different. It's like I've actually lost all desire to even have alcohol. The smell of it makes me nauseous, and I have about as much temptation to drink as I do to place my hand in a blender. OOP updates in various comments, all on March 9, 2019 OOP: Well, I'm still here, about 26 days in or so and still completely sober. It's great. I've had no temptations or issue, and everything is going well. Comment exchange: Commenter: Good, you in AA now? Want to go back and edit the original post to help others when they find it? Also how did you know it was viewed by almost 400k people? OOP: No AA or anything like that. I just decided to stop and did. There was some other factors at play, but nothing crazy like liver failure, job loss, or my partner leaving. As for the view count, I'm not sure how you do it now, but you used to be able to see the number of views a post had. Update Post 5: April 24, 2019 (1.5 months later) Title: 72 Days Sober and Counting Well, here I am. It's been well over 2 months and I have no signs of caving! I've had multiple parties at home, gone out several times, and have been surrounded by alcohol, but I've still been able to abstain, without even a second thought. I've been pouring most of my time, energy, and focus into improving myself. I've been eating healthy, going to the gym, and spending most of my downtime doing healthy activities. I'm to the point where if I drop another 10lbs, my doctor is going to remove me from my medication, and I'll be the healthiest I've been in about 4 years. Update Post 6: May 23, 2019 (1 month later) Title: Made it to day 100! No signs of stopping now Well folks, I've made it to day 100. Everything seems to be pretty smooth sailing at this point. I haven't really had any cravings to drink, and I've had minimal cravings to toke. I'll likely return to the latter in the near future, but no real rush from me. I'm enjoying the newfound energy, time, and focus. Some of the things I've been through and things that have changed over the last 100 days. I was being checked out for potential cardiac issues (hence being put on medication). However, I've now completed multiple CT scans, EKGs, blood tests, X-Rays, treadmill stress tests, and much more. Everything has come back absolutely flawless. My blood pressure has dropped down to between 100/60 and 110/70 without medication. My resting heart rate has dropped from about 70 down to 55 bpm. I've been going to the gym 4-5 days a week. I've lost a total of 65lbs since August, with 20 of it being since I cut out alcohol entirely. My overall anxiety levels have dropped considerably I'm saving several hundred dollars a month (well I'm still spending it, but on more fun things). I even had a birthday a couple days a go, a day I ALWAYS use as an excuse to get hammered. It's been a time honored tradition of mine since age 14, and I made it through clean and sober. I had a nice dinner with my fiancee, and all was well. I'm not sure what switch flipped in me, but it's as if the desire to get drunk has simply disappeared. I'm not sure if drinking again in the future is on or off the table, but for now I'm going to continue avoiding it. Besides, I've been slaving away in the gym 5 days a week. I don't want to ruin all the hard work I've been putting in over the last year. Plus with my wedding coming up in about a year, I want to be in the best shape of my life. Update Post 7: July 12, 2019 (1.5 months later, almost 2 years from OG post) Title: Made it over 150 days. So I'm still here and trucking right along. I did finally cave and start smoking marijuana again, but fortunately it appears that it isn't a trigger for my drinking. I am not really struggling, and everything seems to be moving smoothly, so that's a plus! Update Post 8: May 19, 2024 (close to 5 years later, 6.5 from OG post) Title: Stopped counting the days, but also stopped caring to drink. The Good: Life has mostly been on the up-and-up, especially lately. I got married in 2020 to my partner since 2014. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, which has been a huge motivator in my journey. I'm continuing to build my life, career, and future plans. The Bad: After my 2017 post, I started to slow down and stop drinking. I still partook occasionally, but not daily. The pandemic changed that. Being stuck indoors, I began drinking daily again. By 2021, I had developed a physical dependence. Realizing this, I went to my GP and was prescribed a week of benzodiazepines to taper off. Post-taper, things improved, though I still drank on some weekends. After our child was born in 2022, I had a couple of nights where I drank too much. If I drank, I always slept on the couch to avoid any potential harm. One night, I was too drunk to help my wife with our child. That was a wake-up call. I poured out the remaining alcohol and stopped drinking for several months. On our anniversary, I tried some liquor, but it felt dirty. I tried again on New Year's with the same result. There was no dopamine feedback, just a wrong feeling. I haven't touched alcohol since then. The Reality: Alcohol is not a struggle for me now. I can't say it never will be again, but the desire is gone. I've identified my core drivers: I've always had dopamine regulation issues, evident since elementary school. If my mind wasn't actively engaged, I couldn't relax or enjoy myself. Alcohol was a quick dopamine fix. I knew I could avoid alcohol by staying busy but never understood why. Recently, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD. This diagnosis has helped me understand my past behaviors and gain new perspective. My life is more chaotic and stressful than ever, but I don't have time to waste dulling my mental faculties. I have a future to build for myself and my family. Plus, I've been nicotine-free for over a year. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

since ive graduated high school ive done nothing with my life... i spend all day sleeping or playing video games. i cant drive bc ive had no help getting my license and i cant buy a car bc i have no job... for context i live with my mom and dont have any other family for friends im miserable, ive always hated myself, and ive wasted my entire life so far. even growing up i didnt have friends and was basically isolated in my house. i was shy as a kid and got bullied and now i have severe social anxiety and my mom thinks im autistic. cant go to college bc my brain is fried from having depression my whole life. there’s times my steps a day are submitted by

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/throwRA12010 posting in r/relationship_advice Concluded as per OOP 3 updates - Long Original - 29th October 2024 2pm CDT Update - 30th October 2024 12pm CDT Mini Update - 30th October 2024 3pm CDT Final Update - 30th October 2024 10:40pm CDT ​ Devastated and spiraling. I (M35) found a condom wrapper in my wife’s (34F) car. Now what? ​ We have been together for about 10 years and married for 6. We have no kids now but we were planning to start trying pretty much now. We are both very active, going to the gym, eating healthy and are both in relatively great shape. My wife is gorgeous with a phenomenal body but I would probably consider myself maybe a 5 or 6 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale. I realize that. But we have always had a really strong relationship. We started as great friends, realized we were just right for each other, and that developed into true romantic love and devotion. The sex was always fantastic. There were never any issues there with quality or frequency. I was washing my wife’s car, as I do pretty often. In the course of cleaning the interior, I found an open empty condom wrapper under her passenger seat. We don’t use condoms since she had always been on birth control. I am driving myself insane with all the stories and scenarios running through my brain. She spends a lot of time at the gym working with weights and doing her cardio. Like, 3 hours four days a week so there are frequent times when we are apart. She has never given me a reason to suspect she has been unfaithful. I know I have to confront her but I’m scared to death of what might be the truth. She is my world and I can’t imagine starting a family with anyone else. I’m afraid I’m going to break. EDIT TO ADD: Wow. You all are amazing. I am so touched by the DMs and heartfelt responses. I had no idea I would get so many responses so quickly. I wanted to add some details to save me from having to to reply to all the common comments. My wife has never given me a reason to think she has cheated before this. She has always been loving and affectionate and we were looking forward to starting a family very soon. Some have speculated that kids coming soon may have led her to one last fling?? I dont know. Possibly. We are an open book to each other with our finances pretty much entirely tied up as one. She comes from a pretty upper middle class background her parents are very comfortable. I come from a home where my parents were fighting their own demons, and so I didnt get a lot of attention growing up. Not a criticism, it was easy to get lost in the shuffle of my parents problems. We are cordial but not super close. I am way closer to her family and I love her mom and dad and younger sister. Financially we are fine. Together we make about $150k per year. She makes $60k as a law firm assistant I make $90k as an auto technician. We own a house together that we were able to purchase with a down payment from her family. If worst comes to worst I have no interest in fighting for that money. It is theirs and they can have it back if we end up selling the house. Some have commented about the amount of time she is at the gym. We go to separate gyms. She gets off work at 4 and goes straight to the gym where she does a class, then works out with weights and the cardio on the treadmill. I was never suspicious of the time she spends there. By the time she gets home, I am already there and she jumps directly in the shower and then we make dinner together and hang out. As far as a lawyer or an investigator there’s no way I could do that in secret with the way we manage our finances, so that’s out for now. Someone explained to me how to get detailed phone records from Visible so that’s my next step. I will get the records when I have some time to myself and see if there is a number that she’s in contact with a lot that I do t recognize. I’ll try to figure out where to go from there and let you all know. ​ Comments ​ sassycheeze Ugh dude. I’m sorry. I would wait until she comes home. Have a civil conversation with her in a neutral place (kitchen, patio). Let her know what you found. Ask her to see her phone. If she says no, you have your answer. If she admits to anything, it’s entirely up to you on how you want to proceed. If she lies to you and you find anything out, walk away. She not only cheated on you, but she was ok with lying (and definitely continuing it). No matter what you choose, therapy is a priority. Sending you love. ​ Sspmd11 Ask for the phone first! ​ Calm_Psychology5879 Trust me when I say this, and this comes from experience…. Even someone who seems like the perfect, most loving, and loyal partner can end up being a cheater. Some people just know exactly how they are supposed to behave when in person, but do whatever they want for themselves the second you are out of sight or unaware. ​ Update - 22 hours later ​ Lots of folks asked for an update. Not a whole lot to say but things are getting interesting. I am shaking as I type this. Thanks to everyone in the comments and the DMs for the empathy and well wishes. A lot of good tips and advice too. Man I would hate to piss some of you off. Some of you are vindictive. First off, I found a WRAPPER, not an actual used condom, so the suggestion of DNA testing was not useful. And thanks to u/uhidunno27 for the information about getting detailed phone records from Visible. Today at work during some break time I requested a download of the phone records but it says the request could take up to 45 days. I can’t wait that long. I also drove by her work on my lunch break. I don’t know why or what I expected but her car was there as it normally is. Lots of good advice to track her, get a VAR, look at her phone without her knowing, hire an investigator, a lawyer, etc. I can’t deal with this. I am taking the advice a lot of you had and I’m just going to confront her today when she gets home. As some of you suggested, I plan to just put the condom wrapper on the table in plain sight and watch her body language. I am so scared and nervous I am almost pissing my pants. I am really starting to expect the worst. For me, if she cheated there is zero chance we will stay married. Zero. I don’t care what excuses or reasons or whatever she has, I am 100% done. No therapy, no counseling, nothing. I can’t believe I am typing this. It makes it seem real. I can’t imagine her sucking and fucking some other guy (or guys). That’s an image I could never get out of my head for the rest of my life. As far as assets, we don’t have a lot. We have a pretty nice house that her dad helped us pay for. I’m happy to let her have it with my fair share and paying back her father. Otherwise is bullshit like 2 cars, some furniture and some decent savings that we have both contributed to so I’m willing to split 50/50. The thought of divorce is burning a pit in my gut. I’ll post again after I confront her. Either way I think this thing comes to a conclusion tonight. ​ Comments ​ BloopityBlue If you find out the worst tonight when you talk to her, you get up and walk away. Walk out your front door, get in your car, and drive down to a local parking lot or park until you are COMPLETELY calm and all of your emotions are in check. If it takes you 2 days to calm down then take the 2 days. Do NOT go back in a rage. Things have a way of escalating and situations have a way of getting out of control, your only priority during that conversation is staying calm. Let us know how it goes, we are all pulling for you and hoping it's a terrible misunderstanding. ​ PersonalityKlutzy407 Good luck OP. I was in a very similar position 20 years ago when my husband found the same thing in my car. Turns out my “friend” from work that had asked to borrow my car at lunch was actually the one cheating on HER husband with another colleague IN MY CAR. It was a fucking mess and husband and I are still married and happy but I jumped through hoops to prove myself. I completely understood why he (and you) feel the way you do but I hope that maybe, there is a tiny chance she isn’t actually cheating. I would take the time to gather more evidence if you can. OOP replying to a deleted comment: Yes we have toys but we never used condoms. And I can imagine she is taking care of herself in her car. ​ Flynn_JM Was the wrapper in plain sight? Maybe she left the window open? I saw this show where this girl would throw her hair ties into open car windows to make trouble. OOP: No. It was under the passenger seat toward the back of the seat. The car has a VERY small back seat so I can’t imagine having g sex back there, but who knows what motivated people are capable of ​ Mini Update - 3 hours later (Post deleted retrieved with PullPush) ​ Mini Update: Devastated and Spiraling. I (M35) found a condom wrapper in my wife’s (34F) car. Now what? Ok. Instead of sitting here pissing my pants, I wanted to just type few more things to keep busy. I’m sitting here trying to find any other reason to doubt her. Dashcam - yes I’ve checked the dashcam footage. Nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary. Commutes to work, the gym and home. Maybe a stop or two for typical errands. Grocery store, cleaners. Zero suspicious activity. But she knows there is a dashcam too, so who knows. Maybe she’s just being really careful. Our current state of relationship - it’s really strong as far as I know. She comes home, we share a glass of wine while we make dinner together, talk about our day, cuddle on the couch if we watch a show, we really have what anyone from the outside would be jealous. No feelings of distance, no hiding of phone, and no drop off in sex which has always been and still is great. Her gym time - with as much as she does, it is really reasonable for her to spend 2 1/2 hours at the gym. I’ve gone with her. I’ve seen her work out. It’s pretty extensive and her body shows it. I am so proud of how great she looks and how she takes such good care of herself and encourages me and cares about our health. I’ve never been suspicious about it, maybe foolishly. Yes, she comes home and showers right away but she’s typically sweaty and feels gross. She doesn’t avoid me when she walks in. She will typically come over and greet me with a kiss on the lips and then hit the shower. If she was just having sex with a side piece I think she would be more discreet. We spend almost all of our time together on the weekends. Go for a jog, date nights, happy hour with friends, dinners with family, etc. She has a lot of girlfriends from work and they sometimes go out for a girls night like once every 2 months. But again nothing suspicious. I see the credit card charges so I dont believe she is hiding anything. And her girlfriends are all awesome and I love hanging out with them and their husbands / BFs. I’m torn and getting nervous about talking to her tonight but I gotta get this over with. ​ Comments ​ bigchungus9181 I gotta know what happens ​ Update - 7 hours later ​ This should be my final post on this topic. I took a lot of your advice and decided to just confront her tonight. Sorry for the length, but it was a lot. My wife came home from the gym about 6:45 like always. I was sitting at the kitchen table alone. She came over, said hi, kissed me on the lips and went off to take a shower pretty much like usual. I'm NGL, when she came over to kiss me I smelled really hard for any evidence of "man" scents. Cologne, soap, deodorant, sweat, anything. I got nothing. As she showered I sat by myself a ball of anxiety and damn near chickened out. She got out of the shower and came into the kitchen wet hair, sweats, t-shirt looking beautiful as usual. She sat down like we always do and expected to chat about our day. She could see immediately something was wrong. She asked what's up. I mean, I was shaking and so nervous like you can not believe. I asked have you lent your car to anyone recently? No. Have you had any passengers in your car the last few weeks? She thought for a second and said no. I asked has ANYONE besides you or me been in your car the last few weeks. She said "No. What the hell is going on?" I asked to see her phone. She looked at me weird, said "okaaaaaay" and just slid the phone to me across the table, no hesitation, and said "what the fuck is going on?" I didn't touch her phone. I took the condom wrapper out of my pocket and set it on the table. She looked at it but had no real visible reaction. I didn't say a word. After a few seconds she said "what the hell is that" I said its a condom wrapper. She said "it's obviously a condom wrapper. what the fuck is a condom wrapper doing on our kitchen table?" She was starting to get annoyed. She is either a really good actor or she sincerely had no idea what was happening. I told her I found it under her car seat while I was cleaning her car. She honestly looked dumbfounded. She said she had no idea how it got there. She really seemed sincere and was starting to get concerned. She asked if I thought it was hers. I said "I'm not sure, is it?" She said "you have got to be kidding me. you seriously think I'm fucking around on you? are you crazy? what the hell is wrong with you?" She took her phone and waved it at me and said "Here. please. look at my phone. call my sister (who she shares EVERYTHING with) call any of my friends. I'm not sure what you want me to say." We sat in silence very uncomfortable for a minute or two. I didn't take my eyes off her looking for any sign like a tear. I said "what would you think if the roles were reversed?" she admitted she would probably be suspicious but would give me the benefit of the doubt. she literally went through every day the past couple of weeks, where she went, who she was with, what she was doing trying to come up with any explanation. She finally remembered and after work thing that they did for a friend of hers - a baby shower kind of thing at a restaurant after work. one of the girls at her office was invited but couldn't go and so she asked my wife to please take her gifts to the party. my wife said sure. they walked down to my wife's car to put the gifts in and my wife's stuff was in the front passenger seat. As I said, the car she drives (Infiniti Q60) has a tiny back seat and access to that back seat is ridiculously difficult. As her friend was putting the gifts in, she spilled her purse all over the floor behind the passenger seat. That was the only possibility she could think of. As I sat there she insisted we call that friend immediately and she did just that. She put her friend on speaker phone. she asked her if she remembered when she spilled her purse. she answered yes. she asked if she was sure she got everything picked up off the floor. She answered "I think so. Why?" My wife then seriously asks "Do you and {BFs name} use condoms?" Her friend kind of chuckled and said "Yes?" My wife asks what brand and she answered Trojans. Same size too. ​ My wife looked straight into my eyes and asked "When you dumped your purse in my car, is there a chance there were condoms in it?" Her friends said "Yes, its not unusual for me to have condoms in my purse. Why?" My wife told her friend about the wrapper. Her friend said she doesn't know why she would have an empty wrapper in her purse but it is certainly possible. She hung up the phone and looked at me and asked if I would like to go through her phone. I said no and she asked "mystery solved?" I literally started crying. I was crying because I was so so so fucking relieved. I was crying because I am married to the most awesome woman in the world who loves ME more than anything. And I was crying because I was racked with guilt that I thought she could be cheating. I felt miserable for how I must have made HER feel. My incredible wife took it so well. She hit me with her dish towel and said "Jesus Christ. I cannot believe you could think I would cheat on you." But she admitted again she may have felt the same in my shoes. She even laughed a little and said it was kind of cute that I was so jealous and nervous about asking her about it. We decided to have our glass of wine and go out for dinner. At dinner we talked about how excited we were to start trying for a baby. I am 100000% percent sure she is telling the truth. I know her. I know her like nobody else. I know her body language. I know her voice and how it sounds when she is stressed or hiding something. There was none of that. I hope none of you have to go through this but thanks for all the well wishes. I will probably let my wife read this thread at some point, but not while its still so fresh. Plus she'll probably rib me for going to Reddit for advice, she's not necessarily a fan. Haha. So all is good. Really REALLY good. Have a great life everyone! ​ Comments ​ QueSupresa We love a happy resolution! Nice work on keeping composed during the confrontation. May you guys have a long and wonderful marriage. OOP: Thanks. Composure was never in question. We are both pretty calm people. We rarely even yell at each other when we fight. I am not aggressive or in any way violent. There was never a chance things were going to get out of hand. ​ Sydinq Bro had me nervous OOP: Shit. YOU were nervous??? ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/brooquad in r/tifu ORIGINAL POST + UPDATES - 10th January 2023 TIFU up taking my wedding ring off at the gym. Longtime lurker, first time poster and I am posting from my phone so please forgive formatting. I have just recently arrived home following this FU. I, a very happily married 36M with a small herd of children have been going to the gym in my little town since November 2022. I always go after getting the kids to bed which generally puts me there around 830pm. The gym I go to has two rooms. One has cardio equipment (ellipticals, treadmills, bikes etc) the other room has free weights and various other torture devices. My routine begins the same every time with 9.1-9.5 miles on the bike, which leaves me in a state similar to that of a walrus that has just managed to pull himself onto an iceberg, very wet and breathing heavy. This process takes me to about 8:55 pm. I enjoy hitting weights at this time because the gym is often (not always) empty and it leaves me to grunt and groan in peace. Tonight the gym was not empty when I entered the weight room. Now I mentioned that I have been going to the gym since early November. In that time I have gotten used to the people that do spend time in the gym past 9 and this person was new. Not a big deal, she had brought her own yoga mat (the ones in the gym are blue and red and this one was tyedyeish) and she had her phone set up on a stand, I assumed she was making a video. Both of these observations were made as I walked down to my trusty bench to start my bent over rows. I grabbed my dumbbells and sat down to continue my ritual and TIFU. I always remove my wedding ring before I lift and tuck it in my right sock for safe keeping. If I try to wear it, it digs into my hand and makes things most unpleasant. So I start grunting out reps with ol’ righty and just nicely switched to lefty when I feel a tap on my shoulder. So I stopped what I was doing and turned to see new girl standing behindish me sporting a menacing glare and wielding her iPhone. I popped out my ear bud and asked what was up. The following conversation is as I remember it. Me: Hey, what’s up? New Girl: You’re disgusting. Me: Excuse me? NG: You saw me in here and took off your ring, planning on chatting me up? (This is a little paraphrased, she swore a little too and I wasn’t taking perfect notes) Me: What? NG: You’re gross. Me: Ok. I proceeded to put my earbuds back in and get to work while she stormed to the other side of the gym and started packing up her stuff. I watched her head for the exit while I was resting between sets. Anyway, I’m rowing away and out of no where I’m blasted with a cascade of liquid which leads me to drop my dumbbell and spin around to see what’s going on. There’s new girl with her recently emptied pink yeti screaming at me ( I’m assuming for being gross, it was unclear as I had my buds in still.) I remove my ear buds so I can understand her and she storms away. I think the highlight of the exchange is that my gym shirt now smells like vodka. Do most people drink at the gym? Am I doing this wrong? I’m home, showered and explained why my shirt smells like I’ve had a raging party to my wife. We’ve both had a good laugh. If I see new girls video on social media I’ll be sure to share it here. I don’t know who she was but it’s a pretty small town so it might pop up. Cheers. TL;DR I took off my wedding ring at the gym causing a lady I’ve never met before to go bananas. ​ UPDATE 1: Well this got a lot of attention! So I had emailed the gym owner last night at the request of my wife. (She feels the same as many of you that this lady could be dangerous to others). He has already emailed back. Apparently new girl received a ban early 2022 for aggressive behaviour with another gym patron. Owner is going to call me later today for some follow up. I will definitely look into the silicone rings, thanks everybody! ​ UPDATE 2: Final Update. I had initially planned on responding to a bunch of the comments but there are just so many… Anyway, new girls previous aggression was verbal. The gym owner has deactivated her key fob and placed her on perma ban. He has also called a few of the smaller gyms in the area to give them a heads up (super cool dude). Thanks everybody for the thoughts and advice. I know I’ve let a bunch of you down by not pressing charges etc. But I also know I have made many of you proud by completing my cardio after lifting tonight. Before I left for the gym tonight my wife recommended a rain coat for protection (she’s the best). That’s all for now unless the video surfaces. Cheers. Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/raredontstare to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

TIFU up taking my wedding ring off at the gym. Longtime lurker, first time poster and I am posting from my phone so please forgive formatting. I have just recently arrived home following this FU. I, a very happily married 36M with a small herd of children have been going to the gym in my little town since November 2022. I always go after getting the kids to bed which generally puts me there around 830pm. The gym I go to has two rooms. One has cardio equipment (ellipticals, treadmills, bikes etc) the other room has free weights and various other torture devices. My routine begins the same every time with 9.1-9.5 miles on the bike, which leaves me in a state similar to that of a walrus that has just managed to pull himself onto an iceberg, very wet and breathing heavy. This process takes me to about 8:55 pm. I enjoy hitting weights at this time because the gym is often (not always) empty and it leaves me to grunt and groan in peace. Tonight the gym was not empty when I entered the weight room. Now I mentioned that I have been going to the gym since early November. In that time I have gotten used to the people that do spend time in the gym past 9 and this person was new. Not a big deal, she had brought her own yoga mat (the ones in the gym are blue and red and this one was tyedyeish) and she had her phone set up on a stand, I assumed she was making a video. Both of these observations were made as I walked down to my trusty bench to start my bent over rows. I grabbed my dumbbells and sat down to continue my ritual and TIFU. I always remove my wedding ring before I lift and tuck it in my right sock for safe keeping. If I try to wear it, it digs into my hand and makes things most unpleasant. So I start grunting out reps with ol’ righty and just nicely switched to lefty when I feel a tap on my shoulder. So I stopped what I was doing and turned to see new girl standing behindish me sporting a menacing glare and wielding her iPhone. I popped out my ear bud and asked what was up. The following conversation is as I remember it. Me: Hey, what’s up? New Girl: You’re disgusting. Me: Excuse me? NG: You saw me in here and took off your ring, planning on chatting me up? (This is a little paraphrased, she swore a little too and I wasn’t taking perfect notes) Me: What? NG: You’re gross. Me: Ok. I proceeded to put my earbuds back in and get to work while she stormed to the other side of the gym and started packing up her stuff. I watched her head for the exit while I was resting between sets. Anyway, I’m rowing away and out of no where I’m blasted with a cascade of liquid which leads me to drop my dumbbell and spin around to see what’s going on. There’s new girl with her recently emptied pink yeti screaming at me ( I’m assuming for being gross, it was unclear as I had my buds in still.) I remove my ear buds so I can understand her and she storms away. I think the highlight of the exchange is that my gym shirt now smells like vodka. Do most people drink at the gym? Am I doing this wrong? I’m home, showered and explained why my shirt smells like I’ve had a raging party to my wife. We’ve both had a good laugh. If I see new girls video on social media I’ll be sure to share it here. I don’t know who she was but it’s a pretty small town so it might pop up. Cheers. TL;DR I took off my wedding ring at the gym causing a lady I’ve never met before to go bananas. EDIT: Well this got a lot of attention! So I had emailed the gym owner last night at the request of my wife. (She feels the same as many of you that this lady could be dangerous to others). He has already emailed back. Apparently new girl received a ban early 2022 for aggressive behaviour with another gym patron. Owner is going to call me later today for some follow up. I will definitely look into the silicone rings, thanks everybody! EDIT: Final Update. I had initially planned on responding to a bunch of the comments but there are just so many… Anyway, new girls previous aggression was verbal. The gym owner has deactivated her key fob and placed her on perma ban. He has also called a few of the smaller gyms in the area to give them a heads up (super cool dude). Thanks everybody for the thoughts and advice. I know I’ve let a bunch of you down by not pressing charges etc. But I also know I have made many of you proud by completing my cardio after lifting tonight. Before I left for the gym tonight my wife recommended a rain coat for protection (she’s the best). That’s all for now unless the video surfaces. Cheers. submitted by /u/brooquad to r/tifu [link] [comments]