Temp Mail

Nicht wirklich.. da hast du 2GB umsonst. kleiner Tipp: TunelBear akzeptiert auch burner Mails (Temp Mail)

... request (can I have my mail) and post office(server) says...; bool Damper3Flag; bool Damper4Flag; float Temp; // crc check } data = { 0, false... 0 damper3 0 damper4 1 temp 35.00 17:54:47...

... yorum yapanları da sildiriyor. inatla temp mail ile hesap açıp sonsuza dek...

... suspension notice comes in the mail to the owners, the end ... hooked up and configured the temp router at the jobsite, I ...

... de benen ) Dan loopt de temp op naar 90. Of nog... is via het internet (of mail of telefoon) heel moelijk een...

... some snags the temp & oil gauge are lost in the mail!? looks like the...

... will use temp offices like Regus or have physical mail delivered to...

... mailbox with our quick disposable mail feature, keeping your actual mailbox... Convenience Privacy and Data Protection Temp mailbox data breach tracker screen...

... went unanswered and to voice mail over 2 days ago. I... AC units leaking and the temp sensors. I am attaching a ...

... car's AC. What was the temp of the room? Outputting at ... air coming out. The output temp will drop as the room... temp drops. Quick Google suggests car ... quickly, possibly from a high temp where it's been parked in ... of people whine to the Mail about their heatpumps, you need ...

tell me best temp mail services that works everywhere. submitted by /u/No-Investigator-9713 to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

Two of my PAİD Accounts on my temp mails. Could this effect me ? Like i fully paid for those accounts. They are just on temp mail. Is ther a solid annonce for that or somthing ? submitted by /u/Lubuluk to r/grok [link] [comments]

Hey everyone, I’ve always been frustrated with how bloated most temporary email services have become. They are either packed with intrusive ads, trackers, or use domains that are blacklisted everywhere. So, I decided to build my own version: dropmail.click Why I built this: Speed: Built with a Go backend and Vue 3 frontend to ensure emails arrive almost instantly. Cleanliness: I hate 50+ banner ads. This is a "utility-first" project, so the UI is as minimal as possible. Extra Tools: I realized people often need more than just an inbox when signing up for things, so I added a /tools section with a JWT decoder, Password Generator, and Gmail dot generator. Current state: It’s been live for a short while now. It’s working great for bypassing "enter your email to continue" walls, and since the domains are fresh, they aren't flagged by most systems yet. I’d love your honest feedback: How is the delivery speed on your end? Are there any other "privacy tools" you’d like to see integrated into the /tools section? Does the UI feel intuitive on mobile? Check it out here: https://dropmail.click Thanks for any feedback or Roast! 🙏 submitted by /u/Wide-Substance2380 to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

Et ouais, cette fois ça vient d’un conseiller. Pour le contexte, je suis conseiller indemnisation chez France Travail depuis fin 2022. J’ai 23 ans, j’habite encore chez mes parents, c’est mon premier boulot… et il m’a dégoûté. Je vais sûrement passer pour un petit jeune qui ne connaît pas la vraie vie (ce qui n’est pas totalement faux), mais bon, je suis là pour râler. Normalement, mon travail consiste à gérer un portefeuille de demandeurs d’emploi : documents, demandes d’allocation, etc. Ces personnes peuvent m’envoyer des mails que je suis censé traiter sous 48h. En parallèle, je passe entre un tiers et la moitié de mon temps au 3949 à répondre aux appels. Jusque-là, sur le papier, ça paraît simple. Sauf que le poste de conseiller référent indemnisation (CRI) a été pensé pour des portefeuilles de 300 à 400 personnes (grand maximum 600 dans les agences en tension), afin qu’on puisse : * traiter les demandes, * répondre aux mails, * être proactifs (appeler après une décision, prévenir des fins de droits, expliquer les démarches, gérer les trop-perçus, etc.). C'est pas mal, mais c’est faisable. Maintenant, la réalité : on n’a pas 300 personnes. Ni 600. On en a le double. Aujourd’hui, j’ai 1138 personnes dans mon portefeuille, et il continue de grandir. Pourtant, mon agence n’est même pas considérée comme en sous-effectif. Résultat : pendant la période d’actualisation (du 28 au 15), je reçois plus de mails que je ne peux en traiter dans la journée. Le reste du temps, j’essaie juste de rattraper le retard, en faisant du 8h–17h30 avec 45 minutes de pause si j'ai le temps. Et à côté de ça, il y a : * le 3949, * les justificatifs mensuels, * les dossiers à valider, * les différentes allocations (ARE, CSP, ASS, CEJ, ARCE), * les dossiers à reprendre parce que les employeurs se plantent, * les trop-perçus, * les contestations, * les demandes d’effacement de dettes… Bref, le boulot de 3 personnes pour une seule. Et en plus, on a des directives absurdes : par exemple, au 3949, un appel ne doit pas dépasser 5 minutes? Sérieusement? Autre problème : les prestataires. Ils traitent certains documents (comme les bulletins de salaire) en les mettant “pris en compte” sans les enregistrer, parce qu’ils partent du principe que l’employeur va faire la transmission des données. Sauf que non. Pas toujours. Ou mal. Donc nous, on doit vérifier derrière. Et comment on sait qu’il y a un problème ? On reçoit un mail ou un appel. Évidemment. Je ne parle même pas des congés : si je veux une semaine, je dois poser 3 mois à l’avance. Pendant ce temps, mes collègues récupèrent ma charge de travail (qu’ils n’ont déjà pas le temps de gérer). Résultat : je reviens, tout est en retard. Donc même en vacances, je stresse en pensant à la reprise. Mais le pire, c’est le contact avec le public. Au moindre souci, c’est de notre faute. Donc apparemment, c’est normal de nous parler comme à des chiens. La semaine dernière, quelqu’un m’a hurlé dessus (littéralement) parce qu’elle n’était pas payée. Pourquoi ? Parce que son employeur n’avait pas transmis les infos, le prestataire a mis le bulletin en pris en compte, aucun moyen pour nous de le savoir. Mais bon, c’est moi l’incompétent. Ajoute à ça : * des réformes qu’on découvre en même temps que les usagers, * des gens qui ne lisent pas les consignes, * des demandes absurdes (genre demander des infos déjà écrites sur leurs courriers), * des gens qui s’énervent parce qu’ils ne sont pas payés… alors que leur indemnisation commence le mois suivant (comme dit dans le courrier). Et tout ça pour 1400€ net par mois. Avec les primes, je monte à 22 000€ nets annuels avant impôts. Donc concrètement, je ne peux même pas louer un studio sans stresser. Mais attention, la direction est généreuse : l’année dernière, pour avoir maintenu 83 % de satisfaction, on a eu… 20€ nets en plus par mois. Incroyable. Plus sérieusement : dès que je peux démissionner, je le fais. Mes collègues vont monter à 1500–1600 dossiers, mais tant pis. Je suis sincèrement désolé : Désolé pour les gens qui vont attendre encore plus longtemps leurs paiements. Désolé pour ceux qui appellent le 3949 et qui vont devoir attendre encore plus longtemps, Désolé aussi à mes collègues qui vont s’épuiser encore plus. Mais moi, je n’en peux plus. J’étais venu pour aider, être utile, accompagner les gens dans une période difficile. Aujourd’hui, je suis juste épuisé. Si vous avez des questions, n’hésitez pas. Je vous promets de répondre sous 48h. /s Enfin… si je réussis à finir les 148 mails reçus ce week-end. submitted by /u/ARCX0911 to r/besoinderaler [link] [comments]

Hey , Today I launched TMaily on Product Hunt ,a free disposable email service. I built it because existing temp mail tools felt stuck in 2010: slow delivery, no attachments, questionable privacy. Key decisions I made: No registration . Real-time delivery ,emails appear the instant they arrive. Zero data collection ,not even IP logs. Free ,no premium tier. Here's the PH launch if you want to check it out: ProductHunt Happy to share more about the technical or business side. What questions do you have? submitted by /u/Insanony_io to r/microsaas [link] [comments]

I’ve noticed many sites get better temp mail blockers, and I like to use it to make temp accounts for random social medias etc cause I try not to have too many social medias to avoid doomscrolling but at times there are certain links to certain social medias that you need to have an account for. and knowing thatI have to make an account each time acts as a mental block for like, ”do I actually care to read this”. submitted by /u/Stoltlallare to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

Hey guys, I recently launched fake.legal, a tool for temporary emails and some more. What started as a small project now handles around 10k unique visitors a day. Dealing with that much traffic for somebody that has never had that much traffic, it has been an interesting challenge. Maybe someone also wants to give me some feedback and if its loading fast for yall ;) Hapy to answer any questions about the build! submitted by /u/RaceSecret8860 to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

I'm curious what the current go-to is for everyone here. What features actually make you trust or stick with a specific service? I’ve been working on Xeramail to try and improve on the usual options. I added: Aliases: To hide the temp address further. Customization: Choosing your own username. Send test email: For when you need to verify outbound mail. Custom domains: Use your own custom domain. submitted by /u/FakeErFy to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

Fake.legal – Fast, real-time updates with many domains and a controllable 1-hour timer. ​Temp-Mail.io – High-speed delivery with a clean interface and browser extensions. ​10MinuteMail – Simple, temporary access that auto-destructs after a short window. ​Guerrilla Mail – Robust features including the ability to send outgoing emails. ​EmailOnDeck – Uses frequently refreshed domains to bypass site-specific blocks. ​Burner Mail – Ideal for managing multiple hidden identities through a browser extension. submitted by /u/RaceSecret8860 to r/emailprivacy [link] [comments]

Hey all! 👋 I am the developer of Temp Mail - Disposable Mail mobile app. ⚠️ EDIT: Thanks so much for the interest! The first 50 promo codes have been claimed, and the giveaway is now closed. I will be sending the instructions soon! Please don't try to start a free trial, that won't give you lifetime. --- Why I've built another temp mail app? I often use temporary mail services to when I have to give out a real email to services that I don't fully trust, or when I need to test a product I am working on with different mail addresses. I always had this idea while using these tools: "temporary mail apps don't have to be this slow and ugly". They usually look like they are straight from 90s, and sometimes it can take 9-10 seconds to create just a single email! Mobile ones are even worse, they are full of ads. That's why I decided to build one that is fast, modern looking and ad-free, and launched last week. Additionally, it can be installed on MacBooks from App Store as well!  App Store Link: --- (UPDATE: Giveaway is finished as 50 people has already claimed) (UPDATE 2: I had to remove the link as some people leaving negative reviews because they missed the giveaway, by 2 months.) The Giveaway To celebrate the 1st month of the launch, and hopefully to get some feedback on my app, I am giving Lifetime Free membership for free, for the first 50 Redditors! Promotion is available until 48 hours from now. Temp Mail app is already free and ad-free, but Pro users get these extra features: up to 10 active mailboxes at the same time (vs 1 for free) Premium domains (less used, lower chance of getting rejected by services) Priority customer support ℹ️ For more info, you can visit our marketing page: Temp Mail submitted by /u/happycalamares to r/AppGiveaway [link] [comments]

Hey guys, i have recently asked myself what the best Temp Mail service was... I saw many top listed ones but all of them appear to be old and clunky. So what do you use? submitted by /u/papalatta to r/degoogle [link] [comments]

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submitted by /u/T_Blaze to r/ParentingFR [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/icey_sawg0034 to r/democrats [link] [comments]

J'écris ce (long) post pour partager le dernier échange lunaire et sublime que j'ai eu avec un arnaqueur par mail (aussi appelé brouteur dans le milieu). Pour une petite mise en contexte, il y a quelques années j'étais tombé sur le TED Talk hilarant de James Veitch, dans lequel il racontait comment il avait pris la marotte de répondre aux arnaques par mail dans le but de faire tourner en bourrique les brouteurs. Petit passe-temps très drôle, sans trop de prise de tête, j'ai voulu tenter ma chance de mon côté, comme pas mal d'autres gens à ce que j'ai pu voir sur les réseaux sociaux. Je créé donc une fausse adresse Gmail dédiée (pas fou, je vais pas utiliser mon mail perso), et c'est ainsi que née mon alter ego prêt à en découdre avec les arnaqueurs : Alan Jupay, quarantenaire, cadre dynamique dans une usine de roulements à bille, mais qui a la fâcheuse tendance à se retrouver sur des sites à la légalité très relative. Car oui, les premiers spams auquel je réponds sous le nom d'Alan Jupay sont toujours les mêmes : des mails très mal écrits, avec toujours en pièce jointe une lettre très mal faite, émise tantôt par Interpol, tantôt par le Ministère de l'Intérieur belge, m'incriminant de cybercriminalité. L'arnaque se déroule alors ainsi, on m'accuse d'être allés sur des sites "pornographiques et coquins" (verbatim), et on me laisse 2 choix : soit l'affaire est portée en justice, je risque jusqu'à 20 ans de prison ferme et ma réputation est traînée dans la boue, ou alors, grand prince ! on me propose de régler l'affaire à l'amiable si je m'acquitte d'une "petite" amende allant de 2000 à 5000 euros. Je m'amuse alors à tester différentes façon de faire tourner l'arnaqueur en bourrique : proposer de payer en NFT, proposer des duels judiciaires, tenter de me renseigner sur quels sites sont légaux ou non (les sites de kink sur les vélos ne sont pas interdits, youpi !). Parfois ça marche, parfois ça marche pas. Ce week-end, cela faisait bien 6 mois que je n'avais pas échangé avec un brouteur, quand ma tante me montre un peu inquiète le mail qu'elle venait de recevoir de la Police Nationale : https://imgur.com/a/gffhQwb Vous noterez que l'arnaqueur est particulièrement vicieux, à utiliser les noms de véritables acteurs de la lutte contre la cybercriminalité. Je lui explique l'arnaque, et je me dis qu'il était temps pour Alan Jupay de sortir un peu de sa cave. La stratégie est toujours la suivante : protester un peu au début, nier les faits, et puis se résigner à payer l'amende. C'est ce que je ne manque pas de faire ici : https://imgur.com/a/pRAVKJt Réponse dans la foulée de mon brouteur par une lettre toute prête (et toujours aussi mal écrite) : https://imgur.com/a/XknlY4L Alors je réponds, il me répond, tout un petit jeu d'aller-retours pour savoir qui va finir par se faire enfumé (spoiler, c'est pas moi). (Pour mieux s'y retrouver, mes réponses sont en cadre rouge, les réponses du brouteur en cadre bleu) : https://imgur.com/a/XlNDfK9 A ce moment, c'est très bien parti, j'ai un RIB, le brouteur est tombé en plein dedans, et je me pose la question : quel est mon "endgame" ? C'est sympa de s'échanger des blagues, mais il faut un but à la fin. Et quitte à tenter, autant tenter gros : je vais tenter la stratégie de la vérification manuelle. https://imgur.com/a/6zhufpo C'est quoi la vérification manuelle ? Et bien, Alan Jupay est affilié au Crédit Universitaire Lyonnais (CUL), banque qui a mis en place un système de vérification manuelle pour lutter contre les fraudes à l'intelligence artificielle. Pour valider des virements à haut montant, le récipiendaire du virement doit remplir manuellement un document émis par la banque et me le renvoyer pour que je le transmette à mon conseiller bancaire. Simple comme bonjour, c'est ce que j'explique à mon brouteur, tout en lui donnant une preuve (faite à la va-vite) que le premier virement avait bien été demandé : https://imgur.com/a/PeIxzwc Quant au document à remplir, il m'a pris une petite heure à taper sur Word, et je ne vais pas cacher que j'en suis vachement fier : https://imgur.com/a/ZmUG8Ib Oui, c'est bien un jeu des 7 différences, on ne plaisante pas avec la cybersécurité au CUL de Montcuq. Bon en vrai c'est vraiment gros, je me dis une chance sur 10 que le brouteur tombe dans le panneau, au pire ça m'aura occupé une petite heure, c'était rigolo. Je le montre à mes potes, et je m'engage à payer le champagne à tout le monde si le brouteur me répond. Et beh, j'aurais pas dû promettre parce que même pas 2h après : https://imgur.com/a/MjZaJwB J'exagère à peine quand je dis que j'ai frôlé la crise cardiaque à force de rire. De tous mes broutages de brouteur, je n'avais jamais réussi à aller aussi loin. Je me dis c'est bon, j'ai eu ce que je voulais on pourra pas faire mieux, et puis je me dis que j'ai quand même promis un deuxième virement de 2700 euros. Alors quitte à tenter ... https://imgur.com/a/1pQHEFp https://imgur.com/a/0VO55Gg https://imgur.com/a/K9fBvup Résultat : J-A-C-K-P-O-T https://imgur.com/a/lLPhhZM Et maintenant ? Les blagues les plus courtes sont les moins longues, je ne pense pas donner suite et j'ai déjà un magnifique coloriage de licorne à encadrer. Je vais me contenter de signaler l'adresse mail pour hameçonnage (car on a bien rigolé mais ça reste une méchante arnaque qui fait probablement encore des victimes si elle continue a exister). En conclusion, faites attention aux mails que vous recevez (si la police doit vous contacter, ce sera jamais par mail), sensibilisez vos proches aux arnaques de ce type, et si vous voulez vous amuser, faites très attention à utiliser une fausse adresse mail et à ne divulguer aucune info personnelle. En attendant, Alan Jupay va retourner dans sa cave et essayer de ne plus aller sur des sites "pornographiques et coquins". Enfin, jusqu'à ce qu'il ait d'autres idées d'activités manuelles à faire ... submitted by /u/CossalKvang to r/rance [link] [comments]

J'écris ce (long) post pour partager le dernier échange lunaire et sublime que j'ai eu avec un arnaqueur par mail (aussi appelé brouteur dans le milieu). Pour une petite mise en contexte, il y a quelques années j'étais tombé sur le TED Talk hilarant de James Veitch, dans lequel il racontait comment il avait pris la marotte de répondre aux arnaques par mail dans le but de faire tourner en bourrique les brouteurs. Petit passe-temps très drôle, sans trop de prise de tête, j'ai voulu tenter ma chance de mon côté, comme pas mal d'autres gens à ce que j'ai pu voir sur les réseaux sociaux. Je créé donc une fausse adresse Gmail dédiée (pas fou, je vais pas utiliser mon mail perso), et c'est ainsi que née mon alter ego prêt à en découdre avec les arnaqueurs : Alan Jupay, quarantenaire, cadre dynamique dans une usine de roulements à bille, mais qui a la fâcheuse tendance à se retrouver sur des sites à la légalité très relative. Car oui, les premiers spams auquel je réponds sous le nom d'Alan Jupay sont toujours les mêmes : des mails très mal écrits, avec toujours en pièce jointe une lettre très mal faite, émise tantôt par Interpol, tantôt par le Ministère de l'Intérieur belge, m'incriminant de cybercriminalité. L'arnaque se déroule alors ainsi, on m'accuse d'être allés sur des sites "pornographiques et coquins" (verbatim), et on me laisse 2 choix : soit l'affaire est portée en justice, je risque jusqu'à 20 ans de prison ferme et ma réputation est traînée dans la boue, ou alors, grand prince ! on me propose de régler l'affaire à l'amiable si je m'acquitte d'une "petite" amende allant de 2000 à 5000 euros. Je m'amuse alors à tester différentes façon de faire tourner l'arnaqueur en bourrique : proposer de payer en NFT, proposer des duels judiciaires, tenter de me renseigner sur quels sites sont légaux ou non (les sites de kink sur les vélos ne sont pas interdits, youpi !). Parfois ça marche, parfois ça marche pas. Ce week-end, cela faisait bien 6 mois que je n'avais pas échangé avec un brouteur, quand ma tante me montre un peu inquiète le mail qu'elle venait de recevoir de la Police Nationale : https://imgur.com/a/gffhQwb Vous noterez que l'arnaqueur est particulièrement vicieux, à utiliser les noms de véritables acteurs de la lutte contre la cybercriminalité. Je lui explique l'arnaque, et je me dis qu'il était temps pour Alan Jupay de sortir un peu de sa cave. La stratégie est toujours la suivante : protester un peu au début, nier les faits, et puis se résigner à payer l'amende. C'est ce que je ne manque pas de faire ici : https://imgur.com/a/pRAVKJt Réponse dans la foulée de mon brouteur par une lettre toute prête (et toujours aussi mal écrite) : https://imgur.com/a/XknlY4L Alors je réponds, il me répond, tout un petit jeu d'aller-retours pour savoir qui va finir par se faire enfumé (spoiler, c'est pas moi). (Pour mieux s'y retrouver, mes réponses sont en cadre rouge, les réponses du brouteur en cadre bleu) : https://imgur.com/a/XlNDfK9 A ce moment, c'est très bien parti, j'ai un RIB, le brouteur est tombé en plein dedans, et je me pose la question : quel est mon "endgame" ? C'est sympa de s'échanger des blagues, mais il faut un but à la fin. Et quitte à tenter, autant tenter gros : je vais tenter la stratégie de la vérification manuelle. https://imgur.com/a/6zhufpo C'est quoi la vérification manuelle ? Et bien, Alan Jupay est affilié au Crédit Universitaire Lyonnais (CUL), banque qui a mis en place un système de vérification manuelle pour lutter contre les fraudes à l'intelligence artificielle. Pour valider des virements à haut montant, le récipiendaire du virement doit remplir manuellement un document émis par la banque et me le renvoyer pour que je le transmette à mon conseiller bancaire. Simple comme bonjour, c'est ce que j'explique à mon brouteur, tout en lui donnant une preuve (faite à la va-vite) que le premier virement avait bien été demandé : https://imgur.com/a/PeIxzwc Quant au document à remplir, il m'a pris une petite heure à taper sur Word, et je ne vais pas cacher que j'en suis vachement fier : https://imgur.com/a/ZmUG8Ib Oui, c'est bien un jeu des 7 différences, on ne plaisante pas avec la cybersécurité au CUL de Montcuq. Bon en vrai c'est vraiment gros, je me dis une chance sur 10 que le brouteur tombe dans le panneau, au pire ça m'aura occupé une petite heure, c'était rigolo. Je le montre à mes potes, et je m'engage à payer le champagne à tout le monde si le brouteur me répond. Et beh, j'aurais pas dû promettre parce que même pas 2h après : https://imgur.com/a/MjZaJwB J'exagère à peine quand je dis que j'ai frôlé la crise cardiaque à force de rire. De tous mes broutages de brouteur, je n'avais jamais réussi à aller aussi loin. Je me dis c'est bon, j'ai eu ce que je voulais on pourra pas faire mieux, et puis je me dis que j'ai quand même promis un deuxième virement de 2700 euros. Alors quitte à tenter ... https://imgur.com/a/1pQHEFp https://imgur.com/a/0VO55Gg https://imgur.com/a/K9fBvup Résultat : J-A-C-K-P-O-T https://imgur.com/a/lLPhhZM Et maintenant ? Les blagues les plus courtes sont les moins longues, je ne pense pas donner suite et j'ai déjà un magnifique coloriage de licorne à encadrer. Je vais me contenter de signaler l'adresse mail pour hameçonnage (car on a bien rigolé mais ça reste une méchante arnaque qui fait probablement encore des victimes si elle continue a exister). En conclusion, faites attention aux mails que vous recevez (si la police doit vous contacter, ce sera jamais par mail), sensibilisez vos proches aux arnaques de ce type, et si vous voulez vous amuser, faites très attention à utiliser une fausse adresse mail et à ne divulguer aucune info personnelle. En attendant, Alan Jupay va retourner dans sa cave et essayer de ne plus aller sur des sites "pornographiques et coquins". Enfin, jusqu'à ce qu'il ait d'autres idées d'activités manuelles à faire ... submitted by /u/CossalKvang to r/france [link] [comments]

I apologize in advance, didn't know what to tag this so I hope it isn't wrong! Anyway... figured I'd come to Reddit for this one... Thank you in advance as well for all USPS workers, you’re much appreciated! Today, I went to check my mail and happened to see a carrier I’ve seen a few times. Normally it’s an older lady that delivers my mail but, sometimes it seems like fill ins or temp replacements deliver the mail some days. I’m unsure how it works. I’ve seen the guy before and thought he was super cute. (Happened to be looking out my window once as he was walking over to my neighbors house). He’s come to my main mailbox quite a few times, so I wouldn’t say I see him daily but somewhat frequently, I just never know what day. He’s always got earbuds in so, I’ve never approached him or anything. I was just going to brush off my little crush, however I went to check my mail today and the truck was still sitting outside. I was waiting on something important so I just went to get it anyway, I figured he would’ve drove off by then, but he hadn’t. Subtracted some details that I thought were specific lol, sorry to the folks seeing this post after the edit! * I did end up speaking to him briefly. He seemed really kind and I don’t want to make any assumptions that he was flirting at all, it’s hard for me to pick up on sometimes, but he seemed friendly. He also had sunglasses on so unfortunately I couldn’t get a good look at his eyes which, I think would’ve made it easier for me to tell lol. Anyway.. I assume to a degree he was simply being kind. I wanted to flirt a little bit more but, I was a little nervous to do it on the first time talking to him. And I wouldn’t have known what to say. I considered just blatantly telling him that I thought he was cute, but I thought that was a little blunt. The problem is that he isn’t my regular so I’d have to just.. make sure I see him like I did today. I wish now I had at least asked for his name. Anyway, what should I do? He seemed like he was on the younger side as well, maybe close to my age! (I’m in my mid-twenties.) Help! 😭😭😭 I won’t see him regularly, so a part of me kind of just wants to let it go! But at the very least, I’d like to pay him the/a compliment! I also am NOT trying to be creepy and be looking or waiting around for the next time he delivers... Any thoughts are appreciated! :) EDIT/UPDATE: Thank you everyone for the tips and advice! :) It seems my mail carrier called out again today because he delivered the mail today. I saw him when I was coming back to my place after going running lol. We said hello and I was direct in telling him I thought he was cute and he seemed delighted that I told him. To cut it short, we exchanged numbers and he thought I was cute as well and we may schedule going out next week! Thank you to those of you that actually commented with substance/assistance and thank you for all the jokes!! 😂😂 submitted by /u/bbycelestial to r/USPS [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ScaredyCat1122 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: 1 [New Update]: WIBTA for refusing to raise my husband's affair children now that he and the woman he cheated with passed away? NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: infidelity, death of loved ones, emotional abuse and manipulation, bullying and religious coercion, entitlement, possible identity theft RECAP Original Post: August 24, 2024 Sorry for using a new account, I know that's a red flag, but I don't want to risk using my old reddit account. My (45F) husband (49M) of 23 years had an affair with a twenty-years old girl since 2020. I found out this year when his affair partner gave birth to twin boys in March. Obviously we were going to divorce. We've been hashing things out since, it's been a lengthy process due some properties in common and we needed to get an accountant since he used the shared account for his affair. Finally things seemed to be getting close to the end when both my husband and the woman he cheated with were killed in a car crash. By some miracle the twin babies were not harmed in the crash. Now they are orphaned and neither set of grandparents can take them in permanently. My husband's parents are both in assisted living, he has no siblings and the only aunt that could take them refuses. She's been childfree her whole life. On the woman's side, I'm not sure the details in full, but her parents are also not able to be involved long term and the one sister she has lives overseas. Since we were still married and he had not updated his will, all his assets are set to pass to me and our two children. I'm not callous enough to leave those babies with nothing, so I agreed to let whoever is their legal guardian to have the remaining balance in the shared account. About twenty-five thousands in savings. The issue is no one wants to take them in. Now my in-laws are pressuring me to take them in and raise them. The issue is, I don't want to. At all. I wouldn't love them and I don't want to be the evil stepmother. But I know a big part of me will always have a level of resentment towards them. I will probably favor my own children. It's not their fault, but I truly loved my husband and I thought we were happy before I found out about the affair. We have two daughters (14 and 16). Obviously we had disagreements, but never insulted each others before. Then I found out about the affair and he began calling me names and blaming me for his cheating. He became abusive and even tried to kick me of the house, my childhood home that is not shared property for the record. I'm also raising teenagers alone now. I don't have the energy to raise babies anymore. My daughters hate their baby brothers. I tried to get them to spend time with their dad as we were divorcing, but they refused. Since this all was found out because of the babies, there wasn't really a way to sugar coat the situation. And they are also too old to really get away with it. Most of my friends agree its not my place to care for those children, but my in-laws, the affair woman's parents and my mother want me to raise them. I know my mom is just having grandkids' fever, but it hurts to not have her support. I have to make a decision by next week or the boys will be going into foster care. At the moment they are temporarily placed with their maternal grandparents. I feel horrible, but I am very sure I can't take them in. WIBTA if I refused to take them in? Small update: Hey everyone, this blew up far more than I thought, and I appreciate the well wishes for my girls, the boys and myself. Also for the amount of lovely people offering to see about giving the twins a good home. I might not be their mother, but it does touch me and makes me glad there's good people out there. After thinking carefully and speaking to my lawyer, reading responses, doing research, etc. I plan to speak to the grandparents tomorrow and refuse to take legal guardianship of the boys. I will let them know of the usernames of people that offered meeting for private adoptions or fostering, but my daughters are my priority. It'll be up to the twins' grandparents to decide if they'll proceed with adoption, keep them, or turn them to the state. I wish I had the mental capacity to be the person to do this, but I have two girls that are going through a lot and they need my full attention. I'll also be talking to the lawyers to figure out if the boys have any inheritance claim properly. If they do, I'll separate it and leave it to the lawyers to do what they need to do for them to have access when its best. If they don't, I'll find a way to ensure they have access to the 25k I was going to give them since the beginning. I won't do more, however. My moral compass might be biased, but I don't believe I'm obligated neither morally nor legally to do more than what the word of law says. I can't help everyone and I shouldn't have to. I have two girls that lost their father, two girls that need therapy, two girls just about to get to college. They've gone through enough without seeing their mother favor the children of their father's mistress. Second Update: Hey everyone. So as I said two nights ago, I went yesterday to speak to the twin's grandparents. I explained my position and refused to take guardianship of the boys. My mother-in-law almost slapped me when I said that, but thankfully this was all done in a public place and my father-in-law stopped her. The maternal grandparents kept pleading for me to raise them since they didn't want to lose them. I kept saying no, and when they called me selfish, I lost it. I told them to their face the only selfish people in this mess were them and their son and daughter. Their son, my husband, for cheating and then making the divorce hell on me and my girls. Their daughter because she was a wh*re (I used another word) that went after a married man twice her age. I told them if I heard from them again, I would request a cease and desist. I also informed my parents-in-law that they won't have access to my daughters for the foreseeable future. I'll explain why in a bit. We were at a restaurant, but I didn't stay for the meal. I also sent an email to my lawyer so he can ensure CPS and any agency involved in the welfare of the twins is aware I'm not going to be their guardian or be involved. Then I sent an email to my in-laws with all the usernames and websites from people here in reddit that have offered to do interviews for the twins adoption. I won't be involved beyond this point, so please as lovely as it is, I can't help you if you are interest in the boys. Yesterday was the end of my involvement. As for why my in-laws won't see my girls, I spoke to my daughters and decided to find out more about their thoughts before I went to meet the grandparents. My youngest refused to speak to me, which I found very out of place for her. My eldest then ask for just the two of us to speak. That's when she explained that my in-laws had been going on about how the girls need to get ready to go to public school instead of their private school and to get jobs right out of high school since I will have to provide the twins with private schooling and college money. Apparently they also were told to start moving their stuff to share a room, my girls have separate rooms, since the twins need more space. This was not known to me. Mostly cause that would never happen. Apparently my in-laws have been basically bullying the girls because 'the babies take priority'. Yeah, that's not happening. I told the girls that their grandparents have no say in where they go to school, their college funds, or how the rooms are set in our house. Also that I do agree they could use a part-time job during college and maybe a scholarship, but their tuition will be paid. I told them not to blame the babies for the stupidity of the adults. They told me they understand, but they still don't want to interact with their brothers for now. That 'for now' part gives me hope they'll get through things. For now we're going to do some changes in the house. The girls and I both don't like there's still an office space that my husband used. We're going to make it into a gaming room for all of us. I plan to take down some pictures that have my husband in them and put them in albums for the girls. We just want to make the house more ours. As for people wondering why my girls wanted nothing to do with their father: My daughters were the ones that discovered the affair and told me when my husband took them to meet the twins at the hospital. He had asked them to keep it secret, but my girls told me. After that, my husband began treating them horribly too. He burnt all bridges with the girls. Very tiny update since there's some people who keep harassing me in PMs: I spoke to a lawyer on Monday. The boys have no inheritance claim until a DNA test is done. After that, their only claim is against my in-laws. The shared account is not considered my husband's individual property, so its mine. Same with the lake house. Since he had a PERSONAL savings account and a life insurance, which went to his parents, that will be the only thing the boys could claim. Obviously this can be changed if it goes to trial, but the lawyer told me with how little my husband left my girls and I, there's very little chance a judge will demand our assets. The lawyer also recommended me to completely end the idea of sharing any money with the boys. That could be used against me to claim I'm taking fiscal responsibility for them and should be considered to be their guardian. I'm dividing the money from the shared account for my daughter's college tuitions. I'm still unsure if I'll sell the lake house or not, but neither the girls nor I are attached to it. Now, please leave me alone about the boys' inheritance. Sad as it is, my husband messed everything up for his children. I'm not responsible for them nor do I have to sacrifice my assets to set them up for a better life. Another update: There's some good news and some annoying news. The good news is the boys were safely retrieved by CPS from their maternal grandparents and will be placed in foster care until a permanent arrangement is made. I found out when it happened since their grandparents, and my mother, came to scream at me at work. In all honesty, I'm glad this happened at work and not at home. It's made me consider moving, since I don't want my daughters exposed to any of this. An annoyance I had very soon after was getting a called about my 'inquiries into fostering and adopting'. Apparently my information was sent to CPS as someone interested in fostering the twins and eventually adopting. I immediately explained the situation between the grandparents and me, and the operator was speechless at first. She apologized for the situation and told me she would make sure I wasn't bothered about the process. I also got served this morning. My in-laws are suing for grandparents' rights. They are also suing for custody. Apparently they are planning to leave their assisted living, which they really shouldn't, to buy a house that allows kids to get the twins back and now also want custody of my daughters. My personal lawyer immediately gave me some instructions I won't share to safeguard myself and my daughters from some risks during a possible custody battle. My lawyer and I both suspect my in-laws want the girls to parentified them as caretakers for the twins since my in-laws have mobility limitations. It will be a cold day in hell before that happens. I don't see CPS placing the boys with them to begin with. Not all is bad news. I'm starting therapy next week and my eldest daughter is once again speaking about the colleges she wants to go to. We still haven't really talk about their father or have them agree to visit his grave, I myself haven't gone there and I'm trying really hard to get used to not calling him 'my husband' anymore. I had nothing to do with the funeral plans aside paying bills and from what I heard his parents had the epitaph: "Devouted and beloved husband, father, and son" written on it. I find it a joke. I know its bad to hold to so much anger and resent, but as soon as I have time, I plan to change his tombstone to remove 'husband and father'. It might sound petty, but I refuse to speak well of a cheater and abuser just because he's dead. My daugters deserved better, and so did I. And for anyone complaining about me changing the tombstone, I paid for everything at the end. So, stick your complains you know where. I don't think I'll post another update until the whole mess with the grandparents' right lawsuit is resolved. So to the kind people that have send support to me and my daughters, thank you so much. Maybe I'll have good news in the future, but for now I'm going back to my old reddit account. Small disclaimer: To the person that PM that I will regret not adopting the twins, I don't regret it one bit. Please either post a public message or leave me alone. I don't deal with cowards that use PMs to avoid being judged. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments Can OOP take the twins in temporarily? Or until at least a family member can step in OOP: I don't want to take them even temporarily. I'm 45. I'm tired. I work full time. I don't have time for babies. I don't even have a babysitter anymore. My girls are old enough to be home alone after school until I finish work. I can't do that with babies and I can't ask them to babysit them. They have after school clubs and like to go out with friends. I don't want them raising babies. + I can't take them. I can't even pick them up. They are innocent, but I can't do it. If it was reversed, my daughters would go to my cousin then. That has always been the back up plan that we had in place if my husband and I both died. I'm sorry the twins don't have that, but the more I read on this, the more I've realized I can't take those babies. OOP on encouraging her daughters to have a sibling relationship with their half-brothers OOP: I've tried, but they are teenagers who understand what cheating is. I won't force them to have a relationship with the babies if they don't want it. Therapy for OOP’s daughters regarding the affair and aftermath OOP: I have my girls with a therapist, and this was brought up. The girls despise the babies. It's not the babies' fault, I know. But the girls are angry and they are pointing fingers. I don't want to put more stress on them. OOP on the inheritance left for the family members from her husband’s will. Anything for the twin boys? OOP: The properties in the will where left on my name. The only shared property is a lake house that is currently on sale. If the will is contested, I will happily divide it. As it stands right now, I don't have to give anything. And no, it wasn't 50/50. He cheated and the divorce left me with a majority of asset per our pre-nup. + That's the half of what he owned. The family home was mine before the marriage. The cars are getting sold and put for my daughters' college per his will. The 25k and half of that lake house was his assets. His personal bank account balance went to his parents, per his will. + There's no assets for them based on the will. The only asset they would get is what I offered to give them, the 25k, and they could contest part ownership of a lake house. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go beyond that. I was the higher income in my marriage and in the divorce I was getting most of the assets. My daughters are about to head to college. I feel for them, but I won't have my daughters' quality of life suffer. Also bold of you to assume my daughters are expected to love them out the bat. They are going to therapy and its up to them if they one day want to be in their half-brother's life or not. I won't pressure them. I hope they learn not to hate them and at least see them as innocent in all of this, but they won't be forced to see them as family. + I'm following the instruction strictly as the lawyers, my divorce lawyer and the lawyer in charge of the will give. I won't do anything beyond the word of law as I'm advice by councel. Also irrelevant if I deserved a loyal husband. My daughters deserved a better father. The twins will get only what the law dictates.   Update #1: October 17, 2024 (1.5 months later) Hey everyone, some people have been asking me for updates, and to be sincere, I had nothing until today. To start things, cousins from my ex-husband's side of the family took the boys in. I know them, they are lovely and I know they'll give the twins a great life. The new parents (calling them Matt and Kim) talked to my daughters and let them know if they ever want to reach out to their half-brothers, they just have to call. Otherwise, they can just see them as distant cousins. My girls thanked them, but insisted they don't really want a sibling relationship at this time, but that maybe as cousins it will be okay. I did offer them the money from the shared account since they are family and they said not to worry since they don't need it. Kim even insisted I used that money for a vacation for my girls and I. Apparently I look like the living dead. They also set very strict lines with my in-laws and the parents of my ex's affair partner. They can see the boys, but they won't be seen as grandparents. This apparently caused a big fight with the AP's parents. Matt and Kim then cut them off. Again, threats of 'suing for grandparent's rights' were thrown around, but it went nowhere. That's how I found out why the AP's parents couldn't take the boys permanently. The father is a convicted felon in an abuse case. I won't share the details out of respect, but if what Matt and Kim told me is true, I am glad the boys won't grow up with that man as an example. The only reason his wife had temp guardianship was because of the sudden death of the parents and the process to find a relative to raise the boys. She would have had to live away from her husband to allow permanent custody, and she wasn't willing to do so. My ex-in laws did figure threats were not going to work, so they agree to be 'great-uncles' instead. Good for them, I guess. They now want me to let them live with me and the girls since they left assisted living recently and now the place they were in doesn't have opening. This place has a long waitlist and the only reason they got in originally was because my ex and I offered to pay 5 years in full. They still had 2 full years paid left and I was going to pay for them. After everything they put my daughters and me through, I rather burn money in a grill than spend it on them. I know they want my girls and I to be their caretakers. I won't even consider it. My daughters have their of paths to follow and in all honesty, I want to consider meeting someone new. I know it sounds like I'm moving on too quick, but I've been working to move on since I found out about the affair. I don't think my ex deserves me to go through a 'mourning period'. I already mourned our relationship. At least that's what my eldest daughter said, funny enough. She's been encouraging me to go out and meet someone. We still have that custody lawsuit from my ex-inlaws going and a few other issues that I will update when I have more, but I wanted to at least let everyone know the boys are safe and together. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: You and your daughters sound actually really well-adjusted. I'm glad the boys landed in a safe place and can still have some sort of friendly family relationship with their half-sisters. I think this is beyond my best expectations for this event, and I am happy for everyone. Especially for the soon-to-be-homeless/not in as nice a home ones :D OOP: They should be well enough monetarily to afford a new place, so they'll be fine. They might be horrid, but if they were to go homeless, I would put the money to at least get them a relatively comfortable facility. It's really up to them what they do now, though. Commenter 2: So how come your ex- in laws left their prepaid accommodation? Did you get the 2 years of unused rent back? That's a lot of money. OOP: Nope. They signed off on the money since they were in a hurry to do their whole custody plan. I'm talking with a lawyer to see if we can recoup the money, but very unlikely since the breach was done by my in-laws. And yeah, about 180k. + Oh, I absolutely agree. My ex-FIL is pretty much blind and has a bad knee. He can barely move. My ex-MIL has back issues. Both of them are also diabetic and have other issues that in all honesty makes it impossible for them to live alone. Wherever they go, a caretaker is a must. It's why my ex and I looked for a good facility. + If they had not received my ex's personal savings and life insurance, I would feel obligated. But they received a lot of money from him. Enough to live comfortable if they don't squander it. Now, if they do squander it, its on them. Again the hypothetical scenario would be if they were without means from the get go.   ----NEW UPDATES---- Editor's note: OOP made 2nd update that is under 1st update in the same post Update #2: November 17, 2024 (one month later) Update: So, we had mediation this week for the grandparents' right lawsuit. This is just to avoid taking space on a judge's already heavily stressed docket, though I knew it would go nowhere. My ex-inlaws demands were for the girls to either be in their custody or spend weekdays with them and weekends with me. Even the court appointed mediator told them they were not being realistic with their expectations. My lawyer and I only had one offer and were not willing to negotiate: they will see my daughters only if they want and when they want. Mediator also thought we were being unfair. That's when a detail came out. My ex-inlaws had claimed my daughters are 6 and 4 (a whole decade younger than they really are) to the mediator. I provided him wiht birth certificates, as well as show him a picture of the girls. Mediator shook his head and said he couldn't help in this case. My daughters are too old for grandparents' rights to even be considered. He will send a recommendation for the grandparents' right lawsuit to be dropped, but the custody one will still be going since neither my ex-inlaws nor I agree on custody. I refuse to give them any single bit of legal control of my daughters. They are now also demanding I make them their legal guardian if I happened to pass away. Nope. On some strange news, I met the sister of my ex's affair partner. She brought some items to my house that she knew had to be stolen from me. These are things that were supposed to be in storage. My wedding dress, an old jewelry box that had a picture of my grandparents, some of my coats that are a bit pricey, shoes, and what creeped me out the most copies of my personal documents (passport, IDs, etc). The sister told me she was cleaning up their place when she found my property and used the address shown in them. She was rather nice and apologized for her parents and sister. I did ask her why she refused to take the twins, and she told me that she did because she was tired of being the emergency plan for her family. She didn't say more and I didn't think it was right to ask her. She knew they were my items because apparently the affair partner had bragged about my ex-husband giving her these items, except for the documents. She has no idea what's going on with that, but she didn't want anything to do with identity theft. She did bring some things that weren't mine and I let her know, so I only kept my property. I told my lawyer about the IDs issue and he helped me get my credit frozen. I'll be getting new IDs and passports. We did report the possible identity theft to the police so we had the report in case my personal information was used for something illegal or to put me in any trouble. I didn't know one could make a report on a dead person, but apparently this happens more often than I imagined. And no, this won't turn into a posthumously conviction. It's just paperwork to protect myself. And a last funny note, I am planning to burn that wedding dress and make smores over the fire. Petty? Yep.   My ex-MIL sent her Church friends to harass my daughters and I. I have now exposed her family to her church community and she's getting shamed and shunned at Church.: March 16, 2025 (four months later) My (46F) daughters (17 and 15) have a strained relationship with my ex-husband's parents (78M and 80F). My ex passed away in an accident last year and we've had some major family drama since due his cheating and him leaving two boys born with his affair partner orphaned. She also died. Part of the drama has been my ex-inlaws trying to get custody of my daughters and them also trying to live with us. First one we're going to court over, second one will never happen. Where we live there's a weekend market with fresh produce, eggs, meats, and other products straight from farmers. This week was extra special since it was my youngest' birthday. Since her party is later in the month, I decided to give her a budget and set her loose on the market to get whatever she wanted. Mostly chocolate and sweets. After an hour, I did start getting worried, and just before I called her, she called me. She was crying, saying some weird people have cornered her. I ran to her with my oldest daughter to find six older women berating my daughter for being 'unChristian' for refusing to spend time with her paternal Grandparents or for wanting to be 'a good big sister to her poor orphaned baby brothers'. My daughters are the ones that found out about my ex cheating and the babies, so they aren't fond of the kids. It's trauma and they are working with a therapist. I got between the group and my daughter, telling my eldest to go pay the stuff her sister had and to go to the car. Then I turned to the women, some who I knew from when we went to my ex-inlaws' church, and rip them a new one. They told me I was worst for refusing to obey my ex-inlaws 'like a good Christian wife'. Barf. Eventually the screaming turn too loud and we were all asked to leave the market. I met with my girls in the car, the women following me like a group of vultures. I managed to get in the car and drove away. After my girls went to bed, I got online to talk to another member of that church that I'm in good terms. I told him about what happened and after he apologized, he told me what was going on. My ex-mother-in-law posted this massive story in the church's facebook group about how horrible my daughters and I are, how we are leaving them homeless and penniless (they inherited my ex' personal bank account and his life insurance), and how my daughters don't even talk to them. She also accused us of being the reasons she lost her grandsons. The boys are now living with distant relatives of my ex-husband. Basically, it was a sob story worthy of a Hallmark movie. And of course, they were getting all the love and support from the more extremist members of their church. This church and its members are a bit annoying especially with LGBTQ+ topics, but they have a small saving grace. They are incredibly strict about cheating. It's a big no-no, be it from a husband or a wife equally. Now, how did she get around blaming me about affair children without exposing the cheating? She claimed the other woman was our surrogate since I was unable to have more children. Then said I didn't want the babies because they were boys. Which is absolutely disgusting to be accused of. Well, I decided it was time to clean up this mess and since I was mid-divorce when my ex died, I had all the evidence needed. And since the divorce wasn't completed, I don't have any legal ramification for releasing all the evidence. I was off the next day and went to a print shop to get copies of all the delightful pictures of my ex cheating, his text conversations with his affair partner, the ones with his parents confessing to his cheating and getting support from them, my ex-inlaws harassing me about the divorce, and my coup-de-grace: all the emails and text messages of them bullying my daughters about their baby brothers. In one of them they call my daughters 'bastards' and telling them it was their fault their father died since they told me about the affair and I began the divorce. This one was literally two days after my ex died. I paid extra for all of this to be printed in beautiful high quality paper. Then when I got home, I sat down for hours to make delightfully personalized binders. They look like the little prayer song packets the church give for everyone to take to sing hymns. The first picture when opening the binders is my ex and his side woman making out in our living room. Their faces are easy to discern and the girl looks nothing like me. Different skin tones and hair color. Underneath I wrote: 'Ex-husband's name' and 'Affair girl's name' love story. I took them to the church before service. There's a desk in the back with the song books for people that need/forget their own, and they never check them. The gossip mill was quick and harsh. The names my ex and his affair partner got called in the facebook were so bad the pastor himself had to get involved just to keep things relatively PG-13. People were angry at my ex-inlaws for their abused to my daughters, but what made me laugh was that I was still in the wrong for the divorce, but 'it is understandable that I failed on my duties after the shock and I possibly will one day return to the light, unlike my cheating husband and his Jezebel'. They used another word I can't use here, I imagine. I got two apology letters in the mail for my girl and an invitation to join the church for 'support'. As for my ex-inlaws? They got shamed into leaving the church. My ex-mother-in-law made a post on her wall about how alienated she feels and how no one cares for the elderly anymore. How she wished her 'great son' was still alive since he would have taken care of her and her husband. With what money, I don't know, since I was the bread winner. Explanation on the will: My ex-husband had a will that named his parents as beneficiaries. As far as I was aware, he had told me he had named our daughters, not them. I never pushed for ME to be the beneficiary as my own will has my daughters as the beneficiaries, not him. Relevant Comments OOP clarifies the details on who actually got the life insurance and bank account due to her husband's will OOP: No, the parents did. My daughters only got the value of two used luxury cars he owned after they sold. + We both did our will some years ago and he listed them [the parents] as beneficiaries. + They were the beneficiaries in his will. If he had died without a will, then yes, automatically I would get majority of assets. With a will, it gets complicated. I could in theory contest the will. I just don't think the fight is worth the effort. Commenter 1: Still married but the parents end up with the life insurance and husband's bank account? How'd that happen? OOP: His will. I could go to court over it, but its not worth it. Commenter 2: I sooo think it’s worth it… OOP: I am making more than he did and my daughters and I live in relative luxury. Contesting the will is a headache and half, plus it would just add more animosity. If I was pressed for money, sure, but at this point, I see it as an investment in cutting ties. OOP explains what she was told by her ex about the beneficiaries OOP: Well, my ex told me the girls were the beneficiaries. I did similar with my will leaving majority to my daughters, all my personal savings, bonds and life insurance, with him receiving my house (mine before marriage) and joint property. He lied, but I have learned that is the norm. + It's a blessing in disguise. I could contest it for sure, but that's just a headache. And since there are two other children involved, contesting the will requires a ton of paperwork to divide what was my property, what was his, and what was joint. The latter two would have to be divided and its just a headache. OOP should move away and have a fresh start for herself and her daughters OOP: Oh, we're on the process. There's a lot of toxic stuff happening here involving my ex's family and my family. What will happen to the twin boys? OOP: The boys are with relatives that want to adopt them. I'm not sure how that is going on, but I wish them all the best. My daughters and I are moving hopefully next year after my eldest graduates. OOP should make sure, in case if she passes, the custody of her daughters should NOT go to the in-laws OOP: Oh that's been arranged for years. Neither my mother, who is a criminal nutcase, nor my ex's parents will ever get a chance to take my girls if I die. + We thankfully have sane extended family. My siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins, and amusingly my ex-husband's aunts and cousins, have been a great support to the three of us.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

A bit of background first. Fifteen years ago, I worked at a gas station as an opener. Because I was young and somewhat tech savvy, I was also the de facto "IT" for the 3 stores near me, and had been heavily involved in setting up a new point of sale (POS) system for their two most successful stores when they were swapped from one gas brand to another. The company had made me the super admin on all registers just for ease of transition. Remember this later. The owner's wife had been awful to me for the 2 years that I worked there. I got bumped to opener by her husband and she hated have a man be an opener. Historically every single opener was picked by her and was a woman, but her husband came and fired the previous opener for theft while the two of us swapping shifts, so I got a field promotion of sorts. The wife was constantly scrutinizing everything that I did. Constantly calling me in the mornings to be rude and berate me for a bunch of minor things I did wrong. "You used wet wipes on the area around the drink machine, I want you to use paper towels and spray" We were out of paper towels and the spray we had smelled like a hospital anyway. "I came in your store last night and there were three rows of snapple apple, you could probably increase sales by putting 1 or 2 of those rows to a diff product" Even though the snapple fridge was 100% handled by the vendor and we'd signed a contract that we wouldn't change the layout of product. etc. etc Long story short, she was awful to me because I was a dude. I had set up their POS systems because I was somewhat tech savvy. I was made super admin on the new registers they had. I was desperately looking for work, when I found a temp IT job, which led to my current career in IT. I got a new job offer and gave her husband 2 weeks notice, but never told her because I did my very best to avoid talking to her unless necessary. When she found out it was Tues of my last week and she legitimately lost her mind. Gave me a ton of stuff to do and worked me to the bone until 2pm on the last friday I worked. Finally the time to depart forever came, and she personally came with an office worker and stood by me and said asked me to delete my account from the register. I knew I was a super admin, and I had been told if I ever left to convert the account. She had been told this but had long forgotten it, so I said to hell with it and complied then went to the other store and did likewise while she watched. I go about my life, start my new job, and end up about 3 weeks in when I get a frantic voice mail and like 20 texts and calls from her. I called the office worker who had stood over my shoulder with her and got the scoop. She basically couldn't change ANY prices at all when new beer and soda prices started rolling out and her new opener had just let it all pile up because she didn't know how to do it and they were going to have someone come "Train" her. They had a bunch of items 5 or 10% below the price they were supposed to be at. Margins on cases of beer are low and this was nuking their profits. Once I thought it over, I texted her and said "You asked me to do this, it's on video, and we have three witnesses (the person she had me training, the person I swapped with, and the office worker, who had quit in the 2 weeks since). *Click* (edit: I didn't hang up on her, I'm just being funny lol) I found out later that they ended up spending $6k to get the company back out to fix the issue. The boss's wife legit had a facebook page at one point with people planning to shit on her grave when she died one day (edit for clarity: she's still alive), so I wasn't the only person she was awful to, but I do feel like I got one up on her, and it feels good. EDIT: I wanted to thank everyone for making me laugh with your fun comments. My slow friday afternoon has been much more fun sharing stories about this terrible job with everyone in the comments. I added a few small notes for clarity in the body of the post. submitted by /u/mesoziocera to r/MaliciousCompliance [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/jb4realz to r/MurderedByWords [link] [comments]

I am not OP. Original posts are by u/ThrowRA0010012345 in r/relationship_advice mood spoilers: dismal, unpleasant, trash world cw: substance abuse, cheating, extreme violence, and child abuse I'm completely lost because I just found out that my (42m) wife (36f) of 12 years has been having an affair from the police who called me in for questioning involving the assault of her lover - 12/16/2021 I don't know what I'm doing right now. I don't know if this is the right sub or even if I should be posting this but I don't have a clear mind right now and I'm here to ask for some direction. I've been married to my wife for 12 years. We have an amazing 11 y/o son. Until last night I thought we had a good marriage. I thought I was always really good to her. We have no money problems, no intimacy problems, and I have never taken her for granted. I honestly wake up every morning and thank God she is my wife. Now I don't know what to think. I got a call from my local PD as I was getting off work yesterday. They asked if I could come to the police station as soon as possible. I panicked, I asked if something had happened to my wife or son but they said not to worry just get to the station asap. When I got their they put me in a room with a table and some chairs. They asked me my name which I gave, then they started asking all these questions about a guy my wife works with. I haven't seen or spoken to this guy literally since December 2019 at my wife's company Christmas party. The two officers kept asking me things like "how long have you known" and "how did you find out". The only answer I could give was "what are you talking about?" After about an hour of this I just stopped answering their questions and kept asking where my son and wife were and were they safe. We just kept going around and around until after about 2 hours on and off because they would periodically leave the room for 15 to 20 minutes then come back and start it all over again like some cheap cop show. The last time they came in the cop handed me a tablet and showed me a video of my wife and the guy from her work having sex. I don't remember much right after that, I just remember screaming What the f is this over and over again. I had a full blown panic attack right there in the middle of the police station. The police had a paramedic check me out and he said my blood pressure was something like 170/110. He wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused, and said I needed to find my wife and my son. After I calmed down the officers explained that the guy in the video had been having an affair with my wife, and apparently several other women. He had been found that morning in his driveway beaten, raped, and set on fire. He was still alive but in critical condition and they didn't know if he would make it. His wife had given them permission to go through his phone and computer and that's where they found the video of my wife. They asked me where I was that morning and I told them the gym, then work about 10 minutes from my gym. At that point they said I could go, but that I might not want to stay at my house because they didn't know if his affair with my wife could be why he was attacked. They also said my wife wasn't the only person he was having an affair with. That's when I rushed home. My son was staying with our neighbors, so I got him and went home. We packed some clothes, and his laptop for school. I grabbed my gun and we headed to my parents house 45 minutes away. I still haven't heard from my wife. Her phone is going straight to voice mail. I've called the officer who gave me his card and he said she is at the hospital with the guy she's been cheating with. I am sitting here in bed with my son on one side of me and my .38 on the other. My dad is sleeping in his chair in the living room with a shotgun across his lap, and I've not slept in over 30 hours. I don't even know where to start. Anything would be helpful right now, any advice or ideas. I am in a fog. Update: I'm completely lost because I just found out that my (42m) wife (36f) of 12 years has been having an affair from the police who called me in for questioning involving the assault of her lover - 12/22/2021 I attempted to post this on Saturday 12/19 but it didn't go through, and I got blocked from reposting because I asked a "yes/no" question anyway here it is again. I am working a bit so I may not be able to reply that much right now. My original post was removed but a lot of people messaged me and asked for an update. I thought I would fill everyone in on what has happened this week, because the replies I got helped me so much. I really feel like I owe this community a big Thank You for helping me get my head on straight, and pointed me in the right direction to get everything done as fast as possible. For those people who said my post was fake, my only reply is I wish, from the bottom of my heart, it was. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. For those who said they couldn't find a news story, apparently due to the nature of the attack a lot of information was withheld. Even our local news outlets only reported it as an "assault" and it was nothing more than a blurb on our nightly news. For those who implied or directly stated "The police wouldn't do that" you are 100% wrong, because they did. I found out from my lawyer that police can literally do or say anything they want (especially if you aren't under arrest) short of direct threats of harm. That includes lying directly to your face, which they did. It turns out my wife wasn't at the hospital with her lover when I contacted the detective, she had been admitted to that hospitals psychiatric facility much earlier in the day, while he was still in surgery. I don't know why they would lie about that, but they did. Needless to say this situation has caused me to become very suspicious of law enforcement. After I woke up that afternoon I contacted my uncle's law partner who is a family friend. He actually came to my parents house and sat down with me to go over my options. His entire law firm is now representing me, both in the divorce and criminal defense. That day (Sunday) he got me an emergency custody order and a protective order against my wife for me, my son, and my parents. Our court date is in 60 days. The police served her on Monday as she was leaving the psych hospital. According to her brother, who is a close personal friend of mine, she did not take it well. She is staying with her parents for the time being. I still haven't talked to her, and she hasn't made any attempt to speak to me either, whether that's due to shame, indifference, or the order of protection I don't know, but I'm glad of it all the same. My wife is not the person I thought she was, and I'm ashamed of myself for not see it sooner. I had to tell my son something, so I decided to tell him the truth (age appropriate), and literally the first words out of his mouth was, "please don't let mommy take me away." I asked him why he would say that, and from what he tells me, my wife has been treating him very badly when I wasn't around, and told him, if he told me, she would take him away and my son would never see me again. She has been emotionally torturing our son, and I was too blind to see it. That wrecked me more than the video to be honest. I told the lawyer about what my son said, and he used my son's statement and her mental state and commitment to get the emergency custody. I have contacted his school for therapy resources, and he will start therapy after the first of the year. I feel like the worst father to ever walk the face of the earth at this point. As for our families. Her parents contacted me Tuesday and asked to come see us. I was still at my parents at the time, and I told them they could come, but she was not allowed anywhere near us. They agreed. They were so apologetic, and her poor mother didn't stop crying the entire time she was with us. Her father was heart broken and kept referring to my wife as "that girl." They both said they felt like something was going on with her, and they did not raise her to be this way. We hugged and cried before they left, and I told them they will always be a part of our lives no matter what happens with the divorce. After what my son told me, their visit was the hardest part of our whole ordeal. My lawyers have been doing amazing work so far. They found out that the man my wife was sleeping with has a long criminal record. One of the lawyers informed me that when they went to print out the guys arrest record the printer ran for 5 minutes straight. From what they could learn he is currently on parole for drug offenses, and has had gang affiliations in the past. He is still alive but in critical condition, and still may not make it. The firm has an investigator who contacted the co-worker who drove my wife to the hospital. The coworker informed them that my wife's affair was an open secret around the office. My lawyers think that's how the police figured out who I was, and who my wife was in the video. There are several photos of last years Christmas party at her work, and my wife and I are in several of them. That's where I currently am in this whole situation. I am just numb, still lost, and heart broken. How long does the numbness last, and is their anyway to get past this emotional lethargy faster? I mean really numb, like a dream. Everything I've just said has felt like its happening to someone else. Edit: got the date wrong Update 2 and Questions: I'm completely lost because I just found out that my (42m) wife (36f) of 12 years has been having an affair from the police who called me in for questioning involving the assault of her lover - 01/26/2022 Sorry for the Novel, but I just needed to vent and get this week off my chest. TL;DR: Found out wife was cheating from cops questioning me about the assault of the guy she was cheating with. Divorcing, now she claims she has substance abuse problems and asks for another chance. I feel like an idiot for not seeing it when we were together. I will start off again by saying Thank You to everyone who replied to both my original post and my update. This sub really did help me so much. If I didn't respond to you directly I'm sorry but I got so many messages I can't keep up with them all. First, my son is doing so much better. He started therapy the first week of Jan. and the difference is already noticeable. I asked him if he felt comfortable with me talking to his therapist and he said yes, so I've had a few discussions with her. According to the therapist my stbx would verbally and emotionally abuse our son whenever they were alone together. He was not allowed to make noise or "bother" her in any way when he was home. She would leave him alone for hours on end, and even over night if I was out of town. She would then threaten him with being "taken away and never see me again" if he told me or anyone else. The therapist said this has made him feel powerless, and dependent in a time in his development that she should actually be feeling empowered and self reliant. So to that end I have bought him his own phone, and helped him memorize family members phone numbers, and as many addresses as are relevant. I've also been teaching him situational awareness, to pay attention to street names and how to read addresses on buildings. We've also role played how to ask people for help. How he can clearly explain to strangers that he's in trouble, and he doesn't feel safe. I know this may sound silly but my son can be a bit introverted and shy when he doesn't feel comfortable. Even though we've only been doing this for a few weeks, I can see that its really building his confidence. Any suggestions on how to continue to build his self reliance would be really helpful. His safety and well being is still my number one concern right now. As for myself, I'm doing as good as can be expected. I started therapy around the same time as my son, and although I don't speak to my therapist as much as he does it has helped to be able to talk through my thoughts and feelings about everything that has happened to us and our family. The numbness is gone but it was replaced by a white hot ball of anger in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of my stbx and what she's put our family through. Funny enough, although I hate feeling angry, its a lot easier to deal with than the numbness. My therapist says this is part of the grieving process and it's not how we feel but how we channel those emotions that matter. My legal situation, well I'll be honest is the scariest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. I was awarded temporary full custody, and child support (which I didn't want but my lawyer pretty much demanded we ask for) as well as a continuation of the order of protection for myself and my son. At the "request for an order" hearing (which neither my wife nor her lawyer showed up to), the judge asked if we would allow supervised visitation, but my son absolutely refused (which was why my lawyer told me to bring him along.) The judge asked my son if he would speak to him alone, and he agreed. The judge, stenographer, and a child welfare officer went into chambers with my son and met for about 10 minutes. After their meeting, the judge granted the temp orders and ordered therapy and psychological evaluation for my son. Luckily the therapist he is seeing is somehow involved with, or accredited to work with the courts so he doesn't have to see another therapist. My lawyer said this is a good thing because it means his therapist can give a recommendation for custody. But it still scares the hell out of me that she could get some form of custody after what she put him through. As for the AP. I don't know much. From what my lawyer's have gathered he's alive but still in the hospital. I haven't heard from the police since my initial interview, so nothing new to report there. As for my stbx, I still hadn't seen her since the day I was questioned until Thursday. She has attempted to call me a few times but I haven't answered, and when she called from another number I hung up immediately. I have nothing to say to her, and I don't want to hear anything she has to say to me. Her lawyer requested a preliminary hearing for our court appointed mediation. She was served the second week of January. She was there with her lawyer, and I know this will sound petty, but even with the mask she looked bad. My stbx was always an attractive and athletic woman. I swear in our wedding photos she looks like a super model, but now, well she's lost so much weight its disturbing. She looked sick and frail. She didn't even look at me, she just set with her face down through most of the meeting. Long story short, everything they asked for was ridiculous. They wanted visitation during the divorce proceedings and shared custody after. They want us to drop the OPs. She wants to cohabitate until the divorce is finalized (I'm not joking, after all this she wants to live in the same house.) It was so insulting that my head throbbed through the whole meeting. But it was all worth it for the big reveal we gave to her lawyer. Her lawyer asked how we should handle discovery for the division of assets, to which my lawyer got this shocked look on his face and said, "What division of assets? Read the prenup." The look on her lawyers face was PRICELESS! She hadn't told her lawyer about the prenup. My late uncle, who was the founding partner of the law firm I use, wrote that prenup and actually hired her a lawyer to look over it for her before we married. According to my lawyer its a thing of beauty because we never mixed finances (per my uncle's instructions.) The house we live in was a gift to me from my uncle before we married. All the utilities and insurances are in my name. All the vehicles are registered in the owners name only. And we never had to sign for any debt for each other. We have one shared savings account that is used for household maintenance and an emergency fund. It has around $8,000 dollars in it, which she has already drained. There is less than $300 in it now. The prenup states that all marital assets and debt are to be divided 50/50 and ownership of all intangible assets and personal debt reverts back to the individual who accrued it. The adultery clause simply states that we agreed that if either party is caught or admits to committing adultery they lose the right to claim any form of spousal support. There's a lot more to it than this but my lawyer assures me that trying to break this prenup will be damn near impossible, because it is the most fair prenup he's ever read. But the last thing her lawyer asked for was what has really messed with me. He asked that we postpone the official mediation for 6 months while my stbx attends an in-patient rehabilitation facility for substance abuse. Some people in both my last posts stated that she might have a substance abuse issue, but I didn't even think about it, because I couldn't even fathom that. I talked to my lawyer and he said that we would discuss it and get back with them about our decision on that. Before we left my stbx spoke, literally for the first time and asked me to read a letter she had written me. My lawyer gave me the "this could be a snake so be careful" look, and I debated with myself for a moment but decided to take it. When I got home I read it, and now I wish I hadn't. It started off with all those busted cheater platitudes that everyone warned me about. "I love you", "I love our family", "I know I mistreated (son), and I hate myself for it", "I want 'us' again". But she did explain that after a major surgery she had about 2 years ago, she started abusing her medication. After a while she started buying them from some of the people she worked with, including AP. He became her go-to guy, and when she ran out of money she started sleeping with him to make up the difference. She said she hid this from me because she was afraid I would make her stop, and she couldn't feel "right" without them anymore. That he meant nothing to her but a "fix", and she hates herself for doing what she's done both to herself and to us. Now she says she understands how awful what she's done is and wants to get better for our family, and asks me to at least give her some time to prove she wants this. Let me state, for the record, I will never get back with my wife. Our marriage was over them moment she cheated on me, and abused our son, but damn, where the F was I while all this was going on? I just feel like the most naive, obtuse idiot to ever walk the earth. And furthermore, how should I approach this from here? Am I just throwing her away, or am I still justified in feeling betrayed? I feel like such a failure as a husband and a father right now. I mean I feel nothing for her but anger and resentment, but is this how you treat someone fighting the demons she's fighting? I'm just lost and feel so hopeless again. Anyway, any advice would be much appreciated here. I am not the OP of these writings. This is a repost sub submitted by /u/SmurfyX to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/multitudina1 to r/pics [link] [comments]