Eye Drops For Dogs

... like one of your dogs." Jackal snorts once, low, amused... Adrienne states, "Or bleeding their dogs elsewhere. They have no shortage ... of wine. "Let the dogs loose without any master to ...we recall them." "Perhaps your dogs would, Kane." Mara says smugly. "...saw something earlier." His voice drops, all business. "I ran a ...leather straps alike, drawing the eye inexorably downward across the diminutive ...

... like one of your dogs." Jackal snorts once, low, amused... Adrienne states, "Or bleeding their dogs elsewhere. They have no shortage ... of wine. "Let the dogs loose without any master to ...we recall them." "Perhaps your dogs would, Kane." Mara says smugly. "...saw something earlier." His voice drops, all business. "I ran a ...leather straps alike, drawing the eye inexorably downward across the diminutive ...

... dark of his room. "Demon Dogs," he said. The shadows answered...! From the corner of his eye, Naoya saw the elevated booth.... She wasn't looking at the dogs or Naoya, but was seemingly... of the arena, the Demon Dogs flanking him, and stopped. "The... all I am." The Demon Dogs faded into the shadows—dissolving, ... slow arc, spilling the last drops of liquid across the wooden ...

... been a couple of weeks. Dogs have been controlling my life..., anyway. But one of the dogs is on vacation, so my ... again. Hurray! I had an eye doctor appointment this morning. My ... OK. The new bus route drops me off at the mall, ...

... to get her attention. He drops it just as quickly, "Shade... Shade flashes in her mind's eye. Definitely not. She pulls a... found that she likes hot dogs and she doesn't like tuna...

... grill, flipping burgers and hot dogs, while Sarah flitted between guests... his breath. Sarah caught his eye and winked. Then she sauntered... over her body. He saw drops splatter across her pussy lips...

... with a twinkle in her eye. "Ah," he says, not looking... goes off, and Dr. Rhodes drops his arms. "Alright, break! Take... like a dream." Her face drops. "A dream after a nightmare... you look them in the eye when you meet again." "Well ... and the location of seeds, dogs and cats swear like sailors, ...

... microphones. The smell of hot dogs and popcorn drifted from vendor.... The plaza went silent. Every eye turned to Khora. The desperate... you told me yourself—crime drops whenever Ten-Zero operates somewhere." "True... middle of her room. Shade's eye swiveled toward her, then away... flicked to Shade. The drone's eye met hers. Right now, Tenno...

... microphones. The smell of hot dogs and popcorn drifted from vendor.... The plaza went silent. Every eye turned to Khora. The desperate... you told me yourself—crime drops whenever Ten-Zero operates somewhere." "True... middle of her room. Shade's eye swiveled toward her, then away... flicked to Shade. The drone's eye met hers. Right now, Tenno...

... of the corner of my eye, I watched her Poké Ball ...? I wasn't sure how stat drops worked in real life, or ... wasn't Teddiursa snapping to make eye contact with almost disturbingly cute, ... Zorua was here. If my dogs growing up were anything to ... bed too. Though, if my dogs growing up were anything to ...? A tear came to my eye as I realized what had ...

... gonna beat those no-good dogs all over Boston tonight,...Sheiky is trapped... JYD drops the big headbutt on Volkoff... pokes Koko in the eye, hits a sharp shot to...crushing thrust kick. Savage drops hard and Haku doesn’t waste...advantage against America's superhero. Eye pokes, knee to the gut ...the SLEEPER HOLD!!! Hogan drops to a knee and starts...1 arm drop... 2 arm drops... HOGAN'S ALIVE!!! HULK HOGAN HULKS...

... swallowed, her tears falling in drops and wetting the edge of ... what it is? The Mud Dogs, so the mob remembers where... families. Giving the nickname Mud Dogs makes the smallfolk who did ..., from the corner of Jaime's eye, he saw movement. Someone was... almost imperceptible to the ordinary eye, the man pulled something from...

... Lumina being torn apart by dogs while still alive. He could... like much to the untrained eye. Fourteen flames in total, each... the other. He doubted the dogs would find him now. Their... teacher of his talking about drops. About how after a certain... jowls like liquid, forming sizzling drops that fell to smoldering puddles ...

... to be protected from dangerous drops. 4 Cats can’t taste sweetness... requirements. Unlike humans (or, say, dogs), they can’t detect sweetness at... of communicating love. This gentle eye movement is a sign of...

...vision, her landlord. Scarlet drops into the booth across ...Scarlet doesn't even bat an eye, scooting deeper until the...compromises. And Hera loves dogs. "I'm working right now." ...thought. Hera herds the dogs to quiet down. Yet that ... Hera almost hears the eye roll in Scarlet's voice there. ... to get these dogs home to their owner in ... their stead, her jaw drops. Skyscrapers of stalactites accompany her ...

... an annoying item that often drops automatically whether you want it... Prompt 100 in Park of Dogs ARENA SHOP (50 AP): MEW... be more options during Loot Drops for Player-Run Events, including Legendary... you like for the affected eye! Consumable: Max Mushroom has had...

... pray that one of them drops his M16, because if they... problem? Blast away the attack dogs, find the SMG and the... prefer to rely on his eye beams, which rapidly fire Desolator...

... tunnels!" The gaggle of men drops what they're doing and scrambles...," the leader sneers, "The lowest dogs of the corrupt order are... several chains and single, suspicious eye. "Dame Nowack," Alin states quietly...

... change the refractive index in dogs eyes (effectively making them require.... Note: around this time, DMSO eye drops came into use, and have ...

...steel save for two downwards eye slits. The spikes that ... forcing me to cover my eye and serving as helpful reminder...far ahead, but my dead eye had become a thousand one...of darkness that exploded into drops. All of the undead they...the lungs that drew the eye, though, two bulging great sacks ... From the corner of my eye I saw a scythe hit ...bestiary of Aksum like whipped dogs, tides of fouled water swept ...

... to meet another of the dogs, slamming the baton into its ... face the remaining pair of dogs. Growling furiously, they at least ... menaced by the last two dogs. [Melee: Blunt: 10 + 10 (shock ... it looks like some tension drops from Lisa. She stares at ... a butcher to take the dogs before they start to rot. ... XP) Repurpose 20 - Scavenger's Eye: You have some experience working ...

... those little shivering anxious wet dogs, like a chihuahua, or something... addicts. What really catches my eye though are the three 'Popular ... falls to the ground and drops a gun! A gun! "Damn, ...

... in every species imaginable, cats, dogs, rabbits, birds, reptiles, some things... in public spaces. Don't make eye contact. Don't walk too slow... little anger vein things. Sweat drops. Starry eyes. Storm clouds. Everyone...

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/roommate_throwaway66 Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole AITA for going to my boyfriend’s birthday instead of staying with my sick roommate? Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: abusive behavior, health issues Original Post: May 21, 2026 I (21F) went to celebrate my boyfriend’s (19M) birthday with him a few days ago. However a few hours before I left my roommate (30F) was having the WORST period of her life (for context she has endometrioses and PCOS, it gets really bad sometimes) so much so she had to call in her mom and sister to help. When her family got here they ended up having to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital, once her family arrived and they had all left with the EMTs I also left the house to go out. When I was at my boyfriend’s place I got a text from my roommate’s boyfriend telling me that he was on a business trip and would be back to square out the dogs (my roommate owns 5 big dogs, we also often keep an eye on her boyfriend’s dog, so we have 6 dogs at home most of the time) and he was asking me if I was home and looking after them. I told him I wasn’t home but if needed I could get back, that I thought things were okay since her family was over and they had everything all handled and I hoped she was okay. He answered very neutrally and we left it at that I thought things were a bit weird, so I stayed with my boyfriend for an extra day, time to give my roommate time to recover properly since her boyfriend was over to take care of her; I didn’t really want to be in their way I got back home yesterday, and everyone was pretty much avoiding and ignoring me. Since I got back home pretty late I just went back to my room and didn’t get out until the next morning. When I woke up today I ran into her boyfriend in the kitchen, he yelled at me for a solid 10 minutes about how much of an inconsiderate bitch I am and then I went back up to my room. I didn’t make too much of a big deal out of it because he was getting pretty heated (I didn’t want to escalate things) and I figured he was only this way because he got really worried about his girlfriend or something. At around 6pm today I get a text from my roommate herself telling me that she’s beyond hurt that I left, that it looked like I cared more about my plans than being part of the household and that I should’ve been home to take care of the dogs instead of her boyfriend having to fly back to do it. She also told me that I’m not allowed to have people over anymore because she can no longer trust me (I have a friend that’s supposed to fly over for a week while my roommate’s off to her brother’s wedding. I was also supposed to babysit her dogs that week but because she can’t trust me anymore she decided to pay to get them babysat elsewhere). The wall of text she sent me felt very passive aggressive and by the end of it she was subtly telling me to get out the house. I’m currently staying at my boyfriend’s place For extra context I’m an exchange student, I’m leaving the country in like about a month to go back home, and my roommate is also my landlord Update: after a big night of not sleeping and looking at flights, I’ll be leaving the place before the end of the month and keeping the rent I was supposed to pay her for June. I called my parents and booked my ticket, going back to Paris on the 2nd. Until then I’ll be staying with my boyfriend, his dad very graciously offered me to stay for as long as I need My mom told me to text her and ask for my deposit anyway, and let her know the exact date I’m leaving as to cover my bases. Aswell as take pictures of how the house was before I left so I have a pretty booked week overall Verdict: Not the Asshole Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Your roommate/landlord is insane. You are neither her family nor friend nor partner. You just live there and it sounds like you're leaving soon. This is wildly inappropriate and quite frankly alarming behavior. Commenter 2: Expecting you to take over dog care during an emergency is way beyond normal roommate boundaries OOP: Honest to god if either of them had told me they needed me I would’ve went back. All we did that day was hang out in the city center (≈40 minute train ride from my place) and then go to his place (≈an hour away with traffic). I even told them so like when her boyfriend texted me at 6 in the morning I was basically already packing my stuff to go catch the first bus. He explicitly told me not to. I genuinely don’t know what else I was supposed to do OOP explains more on if her roommate was actually having a seizure or not OOP: She wasn’t seizing. From what I gathered when the EMTs were here she was going in and out of consciousness from the pain and was having hot/cold flashes. Since I haven’t gotten any news from her (on how she’s doing I mean, I sadly have heard from her in different ways) or from her boyfriend on how she’s doing I don’t know much apart from that OOP responds to multiple comments about the roommate's dogs OOP: When I moved in I was told that the dogs were not my responsibility. It was her dogs, she was the one that had to feed them care for them etc.. BUT if I wanted to I was welcome to help around with them (let them out the back, take them out on walks, spend time with them etc.) Throughout my stay, since I really like those dogs, and felt homesick and missing my cats I did look after the dogs when I felt like it and had the time. Keyword: when I felt like it and had the time. If I had homework I’d do it downstairs in the living room to keep them company, if I woke up earlier than I was supposed to in the morning I’d take them out in the garden, if I wasn’t too tired I’d ask my roommate if she needed help walking them all. That’s the extent of my responsibilities when it came to those dogs. There has been a few times where they were my full responsibility, however. But that was only when she asked me. There was once where she fell sick and asked me to take them out the back for her so she wouldn’t have to come down, or one other time where she was out longer than she thought she would so she asked me if I could feed them. One weekend when she was gone entirely and was supposed to put them in the kennel I proposed MYSELF to babysit them for free. Because I love those dogs and had the time and felt like it. OOP on where she is originally from while being an exchange student at her current location OOP: From Paris! Went to Dublin to study OOP clarifies what her original plans were when she left to visit her boyfriend and the roommate’s situation OOP: Okay so I didn’t leave for two days out of the blue. Me being out the house was planned for months. I was even supposed to be gone on Friday instead of Saturday. When I left there wasn’t no one with the dogs. Her mom went with her in the ambulance, sister stood behind. It turned out she (the sister) left after a little bit. When her boyfriend got wind of that he texted me. I told him I was not home but could be there within the hour. He told me things were good and I didn’t need to come. I decided to stay out an extra day as to give her and her boyfriend their space. If I had just gotten out the hospital for a big medical emergency I’d like to get my own space for a bit, which is why I stood behind. I didn’t do it because I wanted to spend more time with my boyfriend. Both of us are mildly autistic, as much as I like to spend time with him I also really need to be alone and have my own personal space for a while otherwise I get pretty hefty meltdowns. And now I’m stuck after barely 24 hours back at his place where I will get zero to none personal space or alone time because that’s how it works when you’re not at your own place Commenter 3: NTA JFC this woman and her bf sound like incompetent AHs. She is not your roomie/bestie, she's your landlord. And she reaffirmed that power disparity by revoking your ability to have a guest! You can't do "favors" for someone that holds the power of your housing over your head. Her BF is a major AH and not safe. He screamed at you for 10 min?! Wtf. I wouldn't want to stay there anymore at all. Bet he felt like a big strong man after telling at a foreign college student he had trapped in her rental. What a tool. She's a grown ass woman, who made a choice to have 5 dogs she can't provide consistent care for. You're not her in home care giver/dog sitter. You're a tenant. She has no boundaries. You WERE there, until she left w her family. Wtf, you were apparently supposed to sit there until she returned? Idk if this is someone your exchange program placed you with, but if so, you should report her. I'd look into getting out asap tbh, she's shown herself to be wildly unreasonable and her bf is scary. I'm sorry you're in this situation. OOP: Sadly my school didn’t offer a housing program for exchange students so I had to find that accommodation on my own, I don’t have anyone to report her to (if I could I would though). I’m hopefully back at home in about a week, but even if I’m not I got the green flag from my boyfriend’s family to stay as long as I need so I’ll be entirely moved out probably by Sunday or Monday OOP on if her roommate actually owns the place OOP: She doesn’t own the place but she’s sub renting one room to me I’m not always responsible for them but I do like them a lot so I try to help (walk, feed, take out in the garden, hang out with them) when I can and feel like it pretty much I’ve babysat them over weekends a few times but only when asked He did yes like to my face I was getting down to get myself some breakfast and he kind of blew up Currently things are super tense, she didn’t out right evict me per se, but I do feel like I’m getting pushed out. They’re not talking to me and living like I’m not real (just last night they were having super loud convos and put their tv on max volume until 5 in the morning.) I can stay at my boyfriend’s place for the time being and moving back home is just a matter of how expensive plane tickets are. I think I may be able to fly back home around the beginning of June Yeah, she has 5 border collies and a chihuahua. And her boyfriend’s dog (here basically 80% of the time) is this massive German Shepard OOP on how she found the roommate OOP: I found her on a Facebook group dedicated to student accommodations for the specific school I’m going to, allegedly managed (unofficially) by the school. I plan on warning my Erasmus department about her once I go back to France just in case, not sure they can do anything about it but it’s the least I can do I guess. I would post something on the Facebook group itself, but I don’t want to have my identity attached to it, I don’t want to leave the country with problems following me Commenter 4: NTA - If the roommate/bf wanted you to do them a favor and look after their dogs, they could've used their words like normal adults and asked you. You're just a tenant and the dogs are their responsibility. They should've made arrangements instead of having these out of line expectations of you. Also, it's weird as hell that there are a few people in this thread seemingly determined to try to convince people that you are a bad person. There's some over investment here that makes me wonder what's going on. OOP: Yeah I don’t really know what’s up. Worst part is I would’ve gladly taken care of the dogs if I was asked. Like, she knows I’m leaving in less than a month, she knows my boyfriend is leaving for another country as-well next week, she had her family over, her boyfriend flew back and yet she still wanted me to strip myself of the last few opportunities I had to spend time with the man I love to look after her incredibly hyper 5 dogs ? When I first posted this it was like 3am I was mid crying I was feeling genuinely terrible about everything because like I’ve had bad periods myself I’m not diagnosed with anything, but they get bad to the point where I can’t move and I start puking everywhere It’s not nearly as bad but I know what it’s like to an extent I would’ve hated it if I was alone and the only person that could provide some kind of help just dipped on me Like I myself believed I was kind of a bitch for that But between the yelling, the passive aggressive texting, the full night of them blasting their tv so loud I could hear it through the walls (there’s her dresser the boiler room and MY dresser separating our rooms btw, and I always wear noise canceling headphones I could hear everything despite all that) I’m just kind of stunned by everything. I asked nothing of her when I got my UTI and was pissing blood everywhere and in deep pain, I asked nothing of her when I caught the worst case of flu of my existence, I always handled everything on my own as to not be a burden on her since we’re not that close and we’re just living together. I was willing to drop all my plans at 6:30am to go take care of her dogs because her boyfriend wouldn’t be around until 4 hours later. Despite all that she’s still giving me attitude, gaslighting me and keeping my deposit away from me. I’m just glad that in basically a little over a week I’ll be back at home. I’m glad this whole thing is allowing me to spend all the time I have left in Dublin with my boyfriend, silver linings I guess   Editor's note: adding a tangential post as it will help with more context for both original and update posts I have to move out urgently out of the room I’m renting. Does my landlord have to be present while I move out?: May 22, 2026 (next day) Because of a terrible situation with my landlord (who is also my roommate) I have to move out of my room within the week. I had planned on moving out my things and leaving my keys on Sunday (she is leaving on a weeklong trip on that day and I’m not comfortable being around her so was planning on moving out my things and leaving my keys while she’s gone.) However, she just texted me that I have to move my things out either today or next week while she’s present so she can do her inspection. Do I have to present for that inspection ? Can I not just move out my things, and she can do her inspection after ? I’m currently staying with my boyfriend for the time being For reference I’m currently residing in Ireland Relevant Comments Commenter 1: You want to be there and take videos / pictures of the place after you have moved out. That way she can’t try and claim damages or other BS and try and get more money from you. Maybe have someone else there you can trust OOP: So basically I don’t have to move out while she’s there pretty much as long as I take pictures and have proof that I’m leaving the room I’m renting damage free Commenter 2: She can’t hold you hostage. Move when you want to. Take video of the empty space, leave the keys and go live your life. OOP: Answering to this comment specifically because it has become relevant now; she’s basically telling me that if I don’t pick up my shit tomorrow (before she leaves and is still present in house) I will be locked out (apparently there are extra locks/security I wasn’t aware of and don’t have the keys to) Is there anything I can do about this? I have 2 keys w me (my only two keys) the one to my room and the one to the front door Commenter 3: You have proof that you live there. Carry that documentation with you, call a locksmith and have him open the door, call the police for documentation. Sue her for the costs. OOP: I ended up getting all my stuff today, I didn’t want to fuck around with my passport Commenter 4: Follow your contract OOP: Never signed one Commenter 5: Move out. Don't leave the keys and do an inspection when she returns. She can't you from moving while you are gone. But in your best interest don't turn the keys over till a final walk is done in person with her. OOP: Just gathered all my things today, took pictures, left my keys, cleaned out and all that stuff I’m 99% positive she’ll find a way to keep my deposit anyway, so I didn’t see a point in waiting around for her Plus I’ll be off on a road trip with my boyfriend from the 27th so   Update: May 25, 2026 (three days later) Like everyone told me to I finally moved out all my things (got home about 10 minutes ago)!! Initially I wanted to move out while she was off to her brothers’ wedding but turns out the house had secret locks I don’t have the keys to, so I had to do move out all my things today with her being present (otherwise she was pretty much threatening to keep my passport hostage until she came back) Got everything cleaned out, somehow managed to pack a whole year worth of my things into all my bags and suitcases and went back to my boyfriend’s Cried a lot but overall I’m very very very happy with how things turned out There was no big confrontation or anything of the sort, I didn’t talk to her she didn’t talk to me and that was pretty much it In a new turn of events instead of going directly home my boyfriends father has gifted me a trip to Hungary/Austria to meet my boyfriend’s mom so that’s also great as well I’m out the country on the 27th, back at home later in June all is beautiful in the best of worlds Very happy all ended well Concluding Comments OOP could had call the police on the roommate if she stole her passport OOP: Oh no yeah before ultimately going in while she’s there instead of getting my things while she was gone like I had planned to I did call the police about it beforehand What the guy on the phone basically told me was while it would’ve been within my right to call the police if the door was locked (since I live there and pay rent) and they would’ve opened it for me, it would’ve been very long and very stressful for everyone involved Ultimately I didn’t want to fuck around too much with my own passport, if it was just clothes and stuff I would’ve risked it otherwise Commenter 2: Glad it worked out, but for future reference, never hand over your passport to anyone. That's super dangerous. OOP: I didn’t! I left it in my room initially with other documents, told her about it, told me she didn’t care and would lock the door either way Commenter 3: Did you find her yourself or via an exchange program? If it was via a program, please report her. OOP: My school didn’t offer an accommodation program, so I had to find her myself However I did find her on a Facebook group dedicated to student accommodations in Dublin, I plan on reporting her to admins and see what comes of it Also planning on sending an email to the head of my Erasmus program to see if they can at least warn future students from her, although I have very little hope Commenter 4: Cheers on good news you had. Enjoy! You deserve it OOP: No all went really well I’m really happy Also won a free trip to Eastern Europe out of the whole situation so I could not be happier   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/throwawaythehatersok Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1, #2 [New 2-Year Update]: Fiancé thinks I am an ass for not converting NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Thanks to u/queenlegolas & u/soayherder & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: mentions hate crime, religion abuse, verbal abuse, threatening behavior, harassment, stalking, physical violence RECAP Original Post: August 21, 2024 Throwaway as my main he follows. I've never posted on this sub before so please delete if not allowed. I (F35) and my Fiancé "Todd" (M41) met over a decade ago and we have a mutual friend group. We started dating last year, and got engaged last month. Generally speaking, he treats me like a queen. He spoils me a lot and I appreciate it always. He's usually respectful and kind, communicative and patient with me. This started to change and I want to say it started to change once the ring was accepted. I need to be clear, I don't much care to get married. I am perfectly fine with not. My parents aren't married but they have been in love and together for over 40 years. My siblings are all but one unmarried but in seemingly happy relationships each at least for 5 years. But Todd is Christian and is of the mind that two people eventually need to get married to be happy. We talked about it at length both before we were a couple and after we started dating. I was clear that I don't want or need a ring but if it's important to a partner I come to love then whatever. I will do a small wedding. He was overjoyed when he proposed and I said yes in front of pretty much everyone in our little world but later said that I didn't seem excited enough and it felt like I didn't want to marry him. I said I love him and if he wants a marriage then sure, but to say I want to marry? I mean I know he wants to, and if that's what he wants, and since it doesn't matter to me either way, the math was easy. Let's get married. I said it sort of jokingly to lighten the mood, but he didn't like that at all and nearly every other day he would find a way to ask me if I really wanted to marry him or he would simply that he feels like I don't. I suggested couples therapy as it seems to really be on his mind and troubling him, and he said he's done therapy before and doesn't need to do it again. Then last week, on our usual date night, he said he had something really big to ask me. "Call it a favor if that makes it better" and asked me to come to his church and get baptized. I stared at him. I am atheist and have been since I was mid-twenties. He has known that for years, and we've always been respectful of each other’s beliefs. I told him I couldn't do that. Baptism is supposed to be sacred and with a true heart for that faith, and I simply would be a liar if I said I wanted to live for his god because I frankly don't. He argued that it's just "a splash of water and some words," and since he wants it before our wedding and I "don't care about religion either way," this should be easy. I refused again explaining that I do care about religion. My majors were World Religions and Anthropology. I care a LOT. And it would be dishonest to his god and our community for me to dedicate my life to his religion outwardly but not inwardly. I said it felt disrespectful to his faith and the people who truly live it. He got angry with me "oh so you're okay, disrespecting me, though," and when I asked what he meant, he said to drop it and changed the subject. I pressed more, but he raised his voice. "I said drop it." Loud enough for others to turn and look at us. He'd been robotic around me since. Days up in his study all night, sleeps on his study couch, goes to every service and event/gathering his church has (which is most weekday nights and Saturday morning as well as Sunday) and has been inviting me to every single one. He hadn't done that since we started dating he did it then I said I respect his beliefs and will go to something like a wedding or christening or baptism but not a simple service or event. When he asked me just a few minutes ago tonight, I reminded him of the above and he just dropped into our couch and sobbed and when I went over to comfort and talk to him, he pushed me away and left muttering something about running late for service. ---- His sister "Esther" texted me to ask what happened and I gave a brief summary, and she texted back that I am being a jerk and one service isn't going to make me "burst into flames" and it's important to Todd. So am I being a bone head? Am I crazy to think that this pressure is a deal breaker? I do love him, but this version of him is not only a stranger to me but a weight on me. But aren't people supposed to work through that hard shit to get on in a relationship? Edit to update. He texted me a few minute ago saying when he gets home he wants to have a serious talk. I explained that my best friend is over so it will have to wait, and he replied "No. Tell her to leave. Give her my love but this is serious." I talked with my bestie "Bessie" F35 and read some of the comments here and told him no indeed. He can go home to his parents, and he is welcome to come in and pack a bag and leave because Bess is here for me right now, and I need her here for me right now. He hasn't responded. ---- Edit to respond to things that have come up a lot either in messages or comments: He has never raised a hand to me. He would never and if it's not for the reason I used to think - that he's not a dick - it would at least be because I am a military brat. Both parents. So not only am I trained to defend myself well, but my parents AHEM would not take kindly. A lot of people brought up kids. I can't get pregnant. I did want kids and then this happened. So now I am okay with the idea of not having any. He said he was okay with that too and we talked about just being dog rescue people. My family likes him. My father, a pastor, loves the guy. But no I haven't told him about this yet. He is non-denominational and goes to a "mega church" in our state. Literally thousands of people. No, it is not a requirement for marriage at his church for me to convert. AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant Comments OOP lists all the "stuff" she has done for him to a downvoted commenter Here Just to be clear, what doesn't count as stuff for him? Is it that instead of paying a fraction of his college costs for this upcoming semester, I covered it all for him? Is it that I gave him my old car when his broke down and transferred it to his name without him paying a dime? Oh hold on, I know, it's because I cook for him every weekday when I am home, do our grocery shopping so he doesn't have that on his plate, let him move in rent-free because he couldn't afford to renew his lease and even got a he-shed out back for him out of my own dime, so he has a place to decompress and paint. No not that... I should have funded his WHOLE mission trip last year instead of half...is that it? Ohhhhh I know what you're talking about, it's that I do the majority of the housework so he can focus on his degree. Nah you probably just mean that I took the time last year to find his undergrad college years buddies and flew his mother in for his 40th birthday, had it catered, decorated, and hired a bartender. Or is it more basic like the fact that when he went vegan, I switch up my whole lifestyle and only eat vegan when out and about and purged all non-vegan items not for the dog from the home. Thank you because actually I am now seeing I do so damn much for this man and he should treat me like a queen because I treated him like a king. This was eye opening. Commenter 1: NTA Time to break up. But, dang, I love how so many Christians take their religion less seriously than we do. An insincere baptism is indeed disrespectful yet so many Christians want nonbelievers to do it! OOP: This is what confuses me most. If it's such an important part of his life, how is he okay with me lying and insincerity "devoting" my life to Christ? I am not against people who have faith. But those that I know who do - truly do beyond platitudes and the mainstream, are kind and loving and would be offended so much if someone faked it and lied about it and gone through sacred rites and the like. It doesn't make sense why he keeps switching sides on it. Commenter 2: No it's a ploy. "Oh just get baptized, it's not serious, just some water and some words!" "Oh please come to the service, the pastor really wants to meet you!" "I told the Youth Leader that you'd help, I'm sure you don't mind? It's for the kids, it's not really religious, just a prayer at the beginning and end!" "But sweetheart we HAVE to raise our kids in the church, what will everyone think?" They've got a script- no seriously- on how to trickle-truth convert someone. He's getting IMMENSE pressure from the church to bring you into the fold, to save you, to prevent you from being 'unequally yoked', to hunt and win a soul for Jesus. OOP: That is...terrifying. I was clear when I left the church eons ago that I am not and will not follow that faith. He never hinted once that I can think of to do what you're saying but it really makes me think this might be exactly what he's doing. I can't get pregnant so kids are out of the equation, but I couldn't bear it if he tried to push me more into his church life. I'm involved a bit to make him happy. I do help at certain events and such. I have skills they sometimes need, and not at all opposed to a food or clothing or back to school drive and the like. I figured it less about it being a church event and more a community event where we helped people.   Update #1: August 28, 2024 (one week later) Last week I posted about a problem between myself (F35) and my Fiancé "Todd" (M41) because despite having been respectful of each other’s beliefs until now, he is Christian and I am an atheist, he now wants me to get baptized. It came to a head, and he stormed out so I called my BFF to keep me company since I was pretty sad and emotional. I do a lot for him and Bess, the bestie, and a lot of you here helped me see that the relationship as is either needs to have serious changes to it or it needs to end. Logical. But logic is hard to cling to when you're heartbroken. I think I already knew he wouldn't change anything for me. I did text him that night that he needs to go back to his parents’ house - the house we live in is mine - and that I needed space. Guess he and his sister gave his parents an alternate version of events because they came by that night anyway. All of them. His mom, dad, sister Esther, and him. He had a key, so he just walked in as Bess, and I are drinking on the couch watching Netflix. I asked what he was doing here, and his family came into the room behind him. I asked what's going on. The way he looked at me is unexplainable, but his mom pushed by him and just yanked me into a very aggressive hug. She said that they were here to talk as a family and have a family meeting. And then told Bess she needed to leave. Bess refused. His mom turns to me to ask me to have Bess leave. I refuse. Its late, and I'm in not state to talk anything else. Please leave. It devolves into passive aggressive disapproval that I won't take guidance from the man I plan to marry. His parents (his father is a pastor) sat down to give me what felt like a whole pre-planned spell about how I am an adult and need to act like one and kicking a man out of his home for "doing the right thing" is a tantrum. His dad once even said that he is so disappointed in me and will be telling my father (also a pastor) about this. Gotta be honest I was dumbfounded for 85 percent of this and then finally (I guess it was the booze) started to laugh and told them to get out. His dad refused and called me volatile and suggested I get counseling. I told him this is my house, and I will call the police and to get the FUCK out. It was the first time I cussed in front of them. Pearls were clutched, I was called trashy and Bess held her phone like "okay, I am calling the cops, she asked you to leave." I heard his dad say "You're not marrying that" as they left and they muttered other hurtful things making a whole thing of them being sad and disappointed by me. They left. Todd packed a bag and left with them. He continued to text me invites to services. "It will help you." Stating that he is concerned about me and the path I am choosing. That his parents aren't sure he should marry me, but he loves me and wants what's best for me. I told him I need space and to leave me alone, but he kept texting. I said that the wedding is off and Sunday when I got home from running errands he was on the porch crying. He had a hand written letter that he wanted to read to me, but I said absolutely not and told him to go away. He kept asking me to think about what I am doing and how my choices effect more than just myself and more. I pointed to my doorbell cam and said I have footage of me repeatedly asking him to leave and Bess was recording the night his parents and sister and he ganged up on me. Go. Away. He threw his hand up like he was going to strike me and I just screamed. I didn't even mean to, it was so sudden and it scared me. He went to start apologizing but a neighbor came out to see what was happening and he just left. I texted him to never come back ever - he is no longer welcome. I will mail his stuff to his parents, but he is no longer welcome on my property ever again. He tried to apologize but I no longer care to hear any of his words. He did leave his written letter and I have read it. So has Bess. She keeps telling me it's just manipulation, but it just breaks me. The locks get changed tomorrow. Bess is helping me pack his shit. His father is picking up his stuff tonight. And I am just sitting here replaying the past week and a half in my head over and over. I know it’s pathetic, but I am shattered. I haven't been able to really sleep yet, and I feel like I don't even reside in my own body anymore. Just going through the motions. Bess is staying with me. I've been getting texts and social media comments about how disgusting I am - like my notifications just went insane over the weekend. This is just a nightmare and I'm not even sure how to wade through this. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: It is so hard to believe that he kept hidden that he wanted to convert you before marriage. That is the only explanation for this behavior so far into our relationship and close to marriage. It seems like he was keeping counsel with his parents while telling you what you wanted to hear. OOP: It's hard for me to fathom this. I thought we loved each other. I would do most anything for him, and I thought he felt the same way. But the way his family came down on me, it was surreal. If Bess weren't there, I really can't say what they might have convinced me off. It was a lot. They were all basically echoing the same sentiments and making it out that I was deranged and stupid and more. I didn't let them see my tears, but it was a devastating tirade of attacks, and I was so tired and so in my feelings that it was all too much. Bess thinks it was a coordinated effort to overwhelm me into complying, and if I was alone, they would have pushed me over the edge into believing them. Commenter 2: OP, don't meet with the father when he comes to get stuff. Pile that shit in the yard and let daddy haul it away. As for people blowing up your phone, block every last one of them. OOP: Bess is here with me, and she will meet him at the door. All Todd's shit is boxed up out front. So if all goes to plan, I won't even have to see the guy. If not, the people who live in proximity are keeping an eye out. Commenter 3: Why don't you post the footage on social media? From the parents bombarding you to him coming back and trying to strike you. Show them the truth. You have the footage. OOP: Bess shares your enthusiasm for this option. I am too tired/stressed/hurt to even deal with that. I want to speak with my parents first, make a plan, really be able to make the steps forward that I need. I am so empty but angry, but sad, but a thousand other things. I'm just not in a state I trust my own judgement right now. Posting it is something that can't be taken back. So if I do, I want to be sure and above reproach. &nbsp: Trigger Warnings: physical violence Update #2: September 22, 2024 (over three weeks later) I don't know how to do trigger warnings, only that they are important when writing posts. So I wanted to add this up here. Physical violence happened. I want to start with I am mostly okay now. I am safely at Bess's being fussed over by her hen-ness and finally have been able to sleep and eat somewhat normally. Todd's father was on my doorstep again not long after my last post. Bess told him through the door that everything he needed was right there and to grab it and leave. He got mad demanding I come out to speak with him calling me a cowardly and sick woman and other insults. Bess just said he can save it for the camera because I am not there (I was) and he just loaded his car, said he would pray for me, and left. We thought that to be it, but then a couple knocked on the door. I don’t know them personally, but I do recognize them as from Todd's church, so I kindly explain that we've broken up and to reach out to their pastor to find him. They then told they are here for me and asked to be invited in. I said no. The guy asked me to please not be inhospitable (exact word - TF) and I said that this will be the last time I politely ask them to leave. So they left. I ordered no trespassing signs online but the next day a different couple from the church pulled the same stunt except this time the guy was aggressive. He used my birth name (I changed it legally 4 years ago) and argued with me through the door cam and his wife kept trying beg me to keep the peace and come out to talk. I refused. A week after that, Todd was back but my dad was over. He had heard about this situation and oddly enough was trying to convince me to come stay back home for a bit. When Todd was outside, Dad stepped out. Dad's retired military and very tall and ordered Todd to leave. That's when Dad asked again for me to come home so I compromised that I would go to Bess's. While I was away Dad would check on the house and take in packages and put the no trespassing signs up. He also added cameras and came over to Bess's to make sure I had the app sync'd. After a few days I don't know how to explain it, but I just felt cooped up, so Bess and I went with a mutual male friend Sam M35 for drinks. Todd was there. He walked in about an hour after me and Bess. Sam spotted him first and got up blocking our booth from him. He saw us and went to the other side of the bar and just sat a while. Sam and Bess asked me if I wanted to leave and I did so we went next door. Todd showed up soon after. We moved to the pub next door and same. It happened 4 separate times and Bess recorded it each time. Sam drove us around a bit, and we needed up at a different bar miles away and Sam asked me if I had checked my stuff. We went through my purse and found nothing, but I remember that my location was on an app I shared with friends and family. I removed Todd from it and texted a few others to say I was turning my location off and did. I checked my cameras and sure enough Todd was parked on the street right in front of my house. He stayed there for over an hour. Sam convinced me to call the police. I could see they talked with him, but it didn't pick up audio that far out. Todd left without incident. I made a full report with recordings the next day. I was told that he did nothing illegal, and he's allowed to exist in public spaces and that night he was on the street, not my property, so he's off the hook there too. He never approached me. He never spoke to me. He did nothing wrong. So they can make the report, but no charges are available to me. The cop who told me all this was very condescending, and he seemed to just want to be done with me, so I left. About a week later, I had recordings of him coming to the same parking spot in front of my house 4 times and just sitting there. Then, that Friday, he showed up at the bar Sam works at. Sam had him tossed out but he refused and so Sam had him legally trespassed, but when the cops came around Todd argued that Sam is a bigot and he is targeting him for his faith and he is friends with "My wife" who is atheist. He got a warning but left on his own. I've been with Bess the whole time but now I think I have to tell my dad as he's still showing up at my house. Bess is helping me find a lawyer to help since the police haven't been taking me seriously. This is just so fucking insane. It doesn't even make sense. Sam put no trespassing and no soliciting signs on my property, and I am digging into my savings to get a fence up. I can't believe this is my life right now. Edit: so sorry - I put up the trigger warning but edited out the violence I think subconsciously because I didn't want to upset anyone. When Todd came around one time a neighbor of mine who knows what's been happening went up and told him I don't want him there and asked him to leave and Todd shoved her down to the ground and raised a fist like he would strike her but then drove off. I have the footage and sent it to her in case she wants to press charges. Relevant Comments OOP might be in danger if she stays in the area OOP: It's why I tried to go to the police, but they aren't doing anything. The best I can do right now is not be in the predictable spaces I used to go to and try to prepare to move. Does the police have the footage from OOP? OOP: The police have everything. I have an ongoing email thread with the Sgt complete with links and folders and all the footage and photos I have. They haven't done anything and say that if my neighbor presses charges they have the footage on file. Commenter: What country/state are you located. That could have a lot to do with stalking laws that vary from place to place. If you’re in a place that has good stalking laws, take your evidence to the women’s advocate for domestic violence. OOP: I am in a southern state of the USA. I am learning from talking with people that it’s not uncommon that police aren't all that helpful in cases like this.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Trigger Warnings: mentions hate crime Update #3: May 13, 2026 (nearly 20 months later) Posting on my own account for anyone who cares... Been a minute. I almost didn't update because most updates I see are either the best or worst and I didn't want to disappoint but therapy, time, and a chosen family helped me to realize, FUCK THAT. I should be proud of my journey and I am. I'm doing this on the move so sorry if it's jumbled. It has been a little over a year now since my last update and I honestly never thought I would come back here again. For a while I couldn't even look at this account without feeling physically sick...that’s what dealing with abuse looks like. I never would have imagined he abused me before I started this account but turns out? He did. Emotional abuse is a sneaky bastard and it got me so yeah I didn’t want to come back to the account that made me feel stupid at times. It felt tied to one of the worst periods of my life and for a long time I wanted to just lock all of it away somewhere and never think about it again. But life kept happening. Good and bad. Mostly quieter now. Which I think maybe is what healing actually looks like. Not dramatic happiness. Just...quiet. I moved. Not immediately after everything happened, but eventually. I realized I was spending more time staring at camera notifications and checking parking lots than actually living. Every car slowing near my house made my stomach drop like is it him? A friend? A member of the church? It was...hard. Every knock at the door felt like my body was preparing for impact when usually it was a food delivery. I was exhausted all the time from being scared without realizing my exhaustion. So I rented the house out. Ironically, my renters are probably the most self-sufficient people alive. They're older... veterans, and within the first month, texted me things like, “Fixed the sink. Here are pictures. Don’t worry about reimbursement.” They once repaired part of the fence before I even knew there was a fence issue. They know the history. They know why the cameras are there. They were completely unfazed by it all, which honestly helped me calm down too. My dad still checks on the property sometimes because I think retirement has him inventing side quests for himself. Speaking of him 😳, apparently, my father has secretly been a successful romance novelist for YEARS. I wish I was kidding. This man spent my childhood acting like technology was an elaborate government trap and now I find out he has apparently written multiple religious romance and historical romance novels under pen names. My siblings and I found out because one of his books got recommended in a church women’s Facebook group and the pen name in question was easy to figure out when you're in said family 🤣 annnnnnywayyyy He’s retiring soon and honestly seems peaceful in a way I haven’t seen before. Less “stern pastor dad” and more “man who wants tomatoes in his garden and to email you blurry bird photos.” lol. I happen to enjoy gardening, so I've been helping every couple weeks and it's produced a lot of produce I don't buy anymore...I just grow....🤷‍♀️ Guess he's the family community garden now lol As for Bess: she is okay, thankfully. But she ended up moving out of the country after she was targeted in a hate crime. I am not sharing details because it’s her story, not mine, but it shook both of us badly. I supported her leaving completely. I miss her all the time, but we still talk constantly and play games online together almost every week. Distance somehow has not changed her ability to aggressively mother hen me through a headset. 🤣. “Did you drink water?” “Did you eat?” “You sound tired.” “Why are you awake at 2am?” Sometimes I think if she could physically emerge from Discord like a ghost and hand me soup she would. "Andrea"... the neighbor Todd shoved? did initially want to press charges. I gave her all the footage I had. But she moved not long after and we eventually lost touch outside of occasional holiday messages. I honestly do not know what came of it legally after that. I still feel guilty when I think about her getting dragged into my mess just because she tried to help me. And Todd. I know people will ask. I have not spoken to him directly in a very long time. But there was one thing. Before I moved, I still had access to an old social media/business account I used to help manage for his side business. I can’t really explain more without making myself wildly identifiable, but I forgot I even still had access until one day I got tagged in notifications. And there it was. An announcement post. Very polished. Very church-approved. Very “God’s plan” 🙄 Todd had apparently married a woman from another church family only a few months after my last update. Which was already enough to make me stare at the screen for a full minute like “what in the Hallmark channel is this?” But THEN. The announcement mentioned they had been “quietly courting for nearly two years.” Two years. I actually laughed out loud when I read it because at that point if I didn’t laugh I think I would have evaporated into atoms. Sir. You were in MY house crying about baptism. What do you MEAN two years!? He’s also apparently an assistant pastor now which somehow feels both shocking and exactly where this was always heading. It bothered me at first in a way I can’t fully explain. Not jealousy. More like that surreal feeling when someone who traumatized you gets absorbed back into community life seamlessly while you’re still trying to remember how to sleep normally. But honestly? That feeling slowly died. I don’t spend my days angry anymore. Mostly I just feel distant from that entire chapter of my life. Like it happened to another version of me. I’m seeing someone now, very casually and very slowly. We’ve only been together a couple months and we’re intentionally taking our time. No rushing. No merging lives overnight. No dramatic forever promises. Just honesty. Quiet. Consistency. Turns out I value consistency a LOT now. Who knew right? Also I adopted a rescue dog who is approximately 80 percent pet-wh*re and anxiety. And somewhere along the way I started volunteering more heavily with rescue organizations, specifically helping people in abusive situations keep or safely place their pets temporarily. That became very important to me because one thing I learned during all of this is how many people stay in dangerous situations because they’re terrified of what will happen to their animals. A shocking number of shelters still can’t accommodate pets. So now I spend a lot of time helping with transport, fostering coordination, emergency supplies, things like that. It feels good to do something tangible. To make somebody’s world slightly less frightening for a moment. I still have rough days. Remembering still makes my chest tight. Sometimes seeing a car similar to Todd’s too many times in one day still flips some primitive switch in my brain. But I sleep normally now. I laugh easily again and more recently I actually just got tipsy and had fun singing with friends at karaoke. I go places without mapping exits first for fun. And for a long time I genuinely didn’t think I would get back to this version of myself. Anyway. That’s the update. Also if my father’s secret romance author identity gets exposed and he becomes famous on Christian Book Tok I am legally changing MY name this time because nooooooo thank you siiiiir 😅. &nbsp: DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Game Title: 007 FIRST LIGHT Platforms: PlayStation 5 (May 27, 2026) XBOX Series X | S (May 27, 2026) PC (May 27, 2026) Nintendo Switch 2 (TBD) Trailers: 007 First Light - Announcement Trailer 007 First Light - Official Launch Trailer Developer: IO Interactive Reviews aggregates: OpenCritic: 91 / 100 - 100% Critics Recommend Metacritic: 88 / 100 Some Reviews (updating): VICE - Brent Koepp - 5 / 5 007 First Light is easily the best James Bond game since GoldenEye and is also one of the better Bond stories told in the last decade. IO Interactive has created a game that is a culmination of all of their best mechanics over the years. 007 First Light has the addicting sandbox gameplay of the Hitman franchise while also having an incredible narrative that matches the quality of Naughty Dog and Rockstar Games. James Bond is finally back and is better than he’s been in years. VGC - Jordan Middler - 5 / 5 007 First Light might just be the best James Bond game ever. The way IOI has translated the Bond fantasy into a 14-hour globetrotting epic is masterful. It's a game full of spectacle, humour, action, and romance. Everything James Bond should be. New Bond owners Amazon must ensure this franchise continues. Windows Central - Jez Corden - 5 / 5 007: First Light felt impeccably polished throughout. I was never disengaged or rushing to completion, even in the slower, stealthier segments — it was often here the characters and world-building shone the most. A huge variety of gameplay locations, gameplay styles, unique activities, set-piece moments, logic puzzles, investigations, platforming, and, honestly, exploration opportunities never left me wanting. The Guardian - Matthew Castle - 5 / 5 It’s that full Bond immersion that 007 First Light will ultimately be remembered for, more so than the odd wonky setpiece scene. I have no doubt that this was made by excitable Bond geeks throwing “what if” moments at a whiteboard. What if you got to explore Q Lab watching underlings test malfunctioning prototypes? What if you were tied to a torturer’s table and had to talk your way out? What if you found yourself at 15,000ft with no parachute? And what if you had access to John Barry’s classic scores and could deploy a staggering needle drop out of nowhere? The Independent - Jake Brigstock - 5 / 5 One of the very first things you’ll notice is just how good 007 First Light looks visually on the whole, both in cutscenes and general gameplay. Especially playing on PS5 Pro where the latest version of PSSR is in use, the game is a feast for the eyes, both in low-light settings and densely packed brighter areas. The lighting in this game is astonishing and the reflections in water and mirrors are equally impressive. In the very first mission, James Bond encounters a broken mirror in a room he sneaks into and the reflection you see is perfect. This level of detail is found throughout the game, and the sound design is equally impressive too, with a superb score, great soundtrack, including tracks from Chase & Status, and immersive, real-world sounds. Digitec Magazine - Philipp Rüegg - 5 / 5 After 30 years, ‘GoldenEye’ is finally retiring. With ‘007 First Light’, IO Interactive – the masterminds behind ‘Hitman’ – delivers the ultimate Bond experience that fans have been waiting for since the N64 classic. Gfinity - Alister Kennedy - 10 / 10 007 First Light is, for me, an absolute masterpiece that shattered all pre-release anxieties and is, in fact, the greatest Bond video game of all time. IO Interactive masterfully balances explosive action with "Hitman"-inspired stealth, all brought to life by Patrick Gibson’s breathtaking, definitive performance as a young James Bond. Equal parts thrilling and cinematic, this incredible experience is a gorgeous love letter to the franchise and a sure-fire Game of the Year contender. MeuPlayStation - Thiago do Nascimento Barros - 100 / 100 007 First Light is all about aura. It honors James Bond's legacy by bringing everything we love about him since the 1960's movies in the ultimate 007 videogame experience. Chases, shootings, explosions, plot twists, politics, charm, Bond Girls, guns, cars, boats, Q Technologies, Moneypenny, M, iconic characters, beautiful locations... All of that with great level design, combat and exploration. The name is Bond, James Bond. Manual dos Games - Luiz Henrique Silva - 10 / 10.0 007 First Light delivers on the promise of being the ultimate James Bond game by introducing a new version of the character that oozes charisma in every second on screen, alongside an excellent storyline supported by memorable side characters who help drive the narrative forward. The game also features an extremely creative level design that fully embraces its stealth and combat systems, making players truly feel like an MI6 spy. GamingTrend - Joe Morgan - 95 / 100 007 First Light is a top-tier game both Bond fans and stealth action gamers will love. It has all the hallmarks of a great Bond film with some of the best stealth action gameplay in the industry. I’m excited to see one of my favorite franchises in the hands of a studio that loves it as much as I do. 007 First Light is worthy of the Bond legacy and easily one of the best games of the year. SECTOR.sk - Peter Dragula - 9.5 / 10.0 007 First Light is a strong new beginning for James Bond in games, combining a deep origin story, varied missions, stealth, action, excellent hand-to-hand combat, precise shooting, impressive visuals and classic Bond atmosphere. A few slower sections and the lack of a body-hiding mechanic are minor issues in an otherwise excellent spy adventure. PPE.pl - Wojciech Gruszczyk - 9.5 / 10.0 007 First Light is the best James Bond game ever – brilliantly written, superbly acted and brimming with that unique atmosphere we’ve come to expect from stories about Agent 007. IO Interactive has combined its own experience from Hitman with a cinematic adventure in the style of Uncharted, throwing in gadgets, spectacular missions, interesting characters and a very well-crafted story of the young Bond. Not everything works perfectly, as the game sometimes holds your hand (a bit too tightly!), but ultimately it’s a brilliant start to a new era of 007 in gaming. GameTyrant - Noah Cochrane - 9.5 / 10 007 First Light delivers the action, style, emotion, and spectacle you want from a James Bond game. It is a masterclass in spydom, and easily one of the most exciting action games of the year. ComingSoon.net - Tyler Treese - 9.5 / 10.0 As stylish as the films themselves, 007 First Light is a brilliant depiction of Bond. As a flawed agent still coming into his own, yet still having the undeniable charm and swagger, this is the most relatable version of 007 yet. It’s also the legendary spy’s best video game adventure since the Nintendo 64, allowing you to really get the full espionage experience, using gadgets, your own problem-solving abilities, and, of course, your trusty pistol to get through some incredibly tense exchanges. The Nerd Stash - Julio La Pine - 9.5 / 10.0 007 First Light is not only the best James Bond video game to date, but also one of the greatest action-adventure titles of this generation, full of jaw-dropping action sequences, a compelling narrative, and superb acting. Atarita - Atakan Gümrükçüoğlu - 93 / 100 Centering on James Bond's origin story, 007 First Light blends action and stealth elements with flawless pacing, delivering that long-awaited, glorious return to the franchise. With its impactful melee combat mechanics, cleverly designed spy gadgets, and stellar acting performances, it places the player directly in the lead role of a breathtaking blockbuster movie. Xbox Achievements - Dan Webb - 92% Even without all that, though, 007 First Light is still undeniably one of the best Bond games ever created – it most certainly gives Goldeneye a run for its money, but for very different reasons, of course. It's a game for action-lovers, Bond-lovers, stealth-lovers, or people who just love a good spy story. It's a wonderfully handcrafted affair that oozes love and care from every faucet. IO clearly did their research and nailed absolutely everything to do with the Bond franchise – Alan Partridge would be proud! And thanks to the elements of the Hitman DNA that run deep, First Light is an espionage game that just nails every aspect of the genre. INVEN - Kyuman Kim - 9.1 / 10.0 After a long stretch in the dark, a truly worthy 007 game has finally arrived. With a young Bond at its center, it delivers nearly everything fans could want from a Bond film—thrilling storytelling, clever twists, and charismatic characters alike. It feels poised to become a new “first light” in the history of 007 games. Metro - David Jenkins - 9 / 10 All of a sudden, it feels like IO Interactive may have been selling themselves short for only focusing on Hitman in the last few decades, because 007 First Light is an exceptional piece of interactive entertainment, that deserves to have a significant influence on the industry at large. DualShockers - Christian Bognar - 9 / 10.0 Creating a new James Bond game after a 14-year hiatus was a risky endeavor by IO Interactive. This is one of the most iconic characters in all of entertainment, and doing him justice is not easy. Somehow, however, IO Interactive pulled it off and not only produced an amazing video game, but also created a story that is worthy of the Bond pantheon. With superb writing, top-notch acting, beautiful cinematography, and expressive gameplay, 007 First Light is as sleek as it is engaging. James Bond is back, baby, and he's never been this cool. Loot Level Chill - Mick Fraser - 9 / 10.0 007 First Light is a superb adventure game, doing for Bond what the Great Circle did for Indiana Jones, and bringing it to modern audiences without compromising a sliver of what makes the character and universe tick. Besides the occasional patch of rough performance (some dropped frames here and there) and some accidentally amusing ragdoll stuff, it runs beautifully on PS5. The campaign is just long enough to satisfy all the requirements, while a raft of extra challenge missions unlock when the story is done to keep you playing long after you’ve rolled credits. Fans of the character will love 007 First Light, while even those who don’t know their Xenia Onatopp from their Pussy Galore will find a slick, thrilling, and supremely well-put-together action game that does so much more than simply coast on the popularity of its franchise. Collider - Samuel R. Murrian - 9 / 10 The narrative and gameplay of the second act could be tighter, but everything leads to a finale that plays out like pure wish fulfillment. Comparisons to GoldenEye and earlier bona fide classic Bond games are likely to be made over the following weeks, but IO has wisely made a game that aims squarely to be its own enterprise. The game concludes on a well-earned, giddy high that's likely to leave fans anxious for a follow-up as soon as the end credits and the thunderous Monty Norman theme roll. PSX Brasil - Ivan Nikolai Barkow Castilho - 90 / 100 007 First Light is an excellent James Bond game: varied gameplay with intelligent approach options, a story worthy of the character's films, beautiful graphics, and great technical performance. The TacSim mode is a great way to increase the title's longevity. Although the campaign features many slow-paced moments with secondary characters and combat animations that repeat frequently, it's an adventure that deserves to be checked out by any 007 fan or action game enthusiast in general. Screen Rant - Kyle Gratton - 9 / 10 Like Q retrofitting Bond's Omega watch, IO Interactive not only knows what the franchise needs, but what makes it tick. With gorgeous and impressively intricate locales, 007 First Light is brimming with trademark James Bond intrigue. There is a world-altering conspiracy threatening king and country to match, and a gameplay loop to get to the bottom of it that's as intoxicating as a vodka martini. But Why Tho? - Matt Sowinski - 9 / 10.0 IO Interactive feels like they've found a new home in the James Bond franchise. 007 First Light is a blast, with a tense and enthralling narrative that punches way higher and harder than anyone could have expected. DayOne - Jon Clarke - 9 / 10.0 With a great cast of characters, tons of imagination, and just the right amount of player agency and replayability, there is a delightful playground full of gadgetry and spycraft that players will want to return to again and again. A confident return for the Double-O program, and - sorry Goldeneye - this is, without a doubt, the best James Bond game ever made. GAMINGbible - Olly Smith - 9 / 10 007 First Light is an exquisite taste of slick spy action and blockbuster storytelling, and is fully what a Bond game should be, but rarely is. Checkpoint Gaming - Omi Koulas - 9 / 10 Despite it taking on more of a typical action game format most of the time, what makes 007 First Light work so well is that IO Interactive hasn’t simply turned Hitman into a Bond game. You can feel the studio’s strengths in the stealth systems and reactive NPCs, plus still get a bit of the sandbox-style exploration, but First Light is far more cinematic and narrative-focused. While some players may want larger, open-ended spaces, the more linear structure ultimately creates a stronger, more personal Bond story without losing the flair IOI is known for. My recommendation: go into this expecting a fun action-blockbuster, and you’ll have a grand ol’ time. Eurogamer - Rick Lane - 4 / 5 First Light isn't the Bond game that I wanted from IO Interactive. But I had a great time with it regardless. IO has proved it was the right studio to handle the license, albeit for different reasons than I expected. Amazon may not have a clue what to do with 007, but letting IO handle the whole shooting match would not be the worst idea. Dexerto - Liam Mackay - 4 / 5 007: First Light is worthy of the Bond legacy, bringing classic spy action to current-gen. It’s everything a Bond game should be and a true spectacle, taking inspiration from the biggest hits with sharp dialogue, inventive gadgets, classic cars, satisfying stealth, a great cast, and huge action set pieces. Its pacing isn’t always perfect, and combat could have more variety, but fans of 007, action, stealth games, and, of course, the Hitman franchise are bound to have a great time. The OuterHaven - George Yang - 4 / 5 007 First Light is the best James Bond game to date. Free from the shackles of licensed titles, First Light is able to tell a compelling origin story filled with political intrigue, espionage, and heart. Along with implementing its own twists on tried and true action adventure gameplay mechanics, 007 First Light comes equipped with beautiful landscapes, creative level design, and tons of replayability. Despite some performance issues and combat woes, this new era of Bond has successfully completed its mission. Wccftech - Alessio Palumbo - 8.5 / 10 From a technical standpoint, 007 First Light is also absolutely excellent. The latest evolution of the Glacier engine delivers great visuals and handles the game's larger levels with ease, never breaking a sweat even at maximum settings and NVIDIA DLAA enabled on a PC with a GeForce RTX 5090 GPU and Ryzen 7 9800X3D CPU. There was no stuttering, either, a nice departure from what we're used to seeing in too many PC games. Unfortunately, IO Interactive delayed path tracing to a later update coming this Summer. It would have been ideal to play the game for the first time at its peak visual splendor; on the flip side, if there were optimization issues to iron out, it was definitely best to avoid ruining the launch experience. Gamereactor - Ben Lyons - 8.5 / 10 So yes, 007 First Light has plenty of hits and plenty of misses. In answer to the question earlier, there is enough in this game to give you confidence in IO Interactive and its broader vision for this style of a James Bond game, with plenty of ambition and quality oozing out of every crack. But there is clear room for improvement too, areas that would take this game from being simply an enjoyable and great action-adventure project and elevating it to be something truly unmissable. As it is, you'll enjoy 007 First Light, but it's no Uncharted 4 and it's no Hitman 3, either. PCGamesN - Paul Kelly - 8 / 10 If Hitman is a blank canvas, then First Light is a coloring book; everything is planned out, it's just up to me to fill out the details. I can choose whatever colors I like, in theory, but in the end, the picture looks the same. I'm always improvising a route from A to B, and while it doesn't feel as free-form and creative as IO Interactive's previous jaunts, it's a perfect fit for Bond. IGN - Luke Reilly - REVIEW IN PROGRESS (Very Positive) 007 First Light has made a fabulous first impression, and I’m certainly already quite comfortable to say it’s the best Bond has been since GoldenEye. I’ll be updating this review as soon as I’ve finalised the story and experimented with TacSim mode, which allows us to replay previous missions with extra challenges to earn new rewards. Push Square - Stephen Tailby - REVIEW IN PROGRESS (Very Positive) I'm not quite finished with 007 First Light just yet, but overall I'd say it's exactly what I was hoping for. The characterisation of this young Bond and his associates is really strong, and the globetrotting story lets you explore some great locations. It really shines in its sandbox missions, but shootouts have their moments too, and the whole thing weaves together really quite nicely. I'm really interested to see how the final few missions shake out, but beyond some technical quibbles and uncertainty on the driving, I'm pretty happy with IOI's new vision for James Bond. submitted by /u/ChiefLeef22 to r/gaming [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/notadognana Me [61F] with my daughter [28F], she’s angry I don’t consider her pets my grandchildren Original Post Nov 15, 2017 My son told me about this website (daughter in question frequents it as well) so I’m hoping for some insight from a younger crowd. He suggested changing everyone’s names for anonymity, so hopefully I keep the aliases straight! I have three wonderful children: a son, Michael (35), and two daughters, Anna (31) and Marnie (28). All three are married to lovely people, and Michael and Anna both have children. I adore my grandchildren, but I want to make clear that I have never expected my children to “give” me grandchildren. I respect each of them and how they choose live their lives because it’s their lives. I realize this might come off as overly defensive, but I had a mother who felt entitled to influence over certain decisions in my life (such as picking the husband I am now divorced from). That being said, I adore being a grandma. Each of my grandchildren is a blessing, and I am so very proud of every single one of them. I’m the grandma who drives everybody crazy taking a million pictures, and I have a couple of dedicated shelves that I’m constantly updating with the latest pictures of my family (yes my children have suggested a digital photo frame, but I’m too old-fashioned to give up my paper copies!). Now onto the issue. Marnie and her husband are childfree but own three large dogs of varying breeds. They paid a lot of money for these dogs from high quality breeders, and they’ve gotten the dogs great training. These dogs are obedient, sweet animals who love to be loved, even if they sometimes forget their own size (hard to share a recliner with 150 pounds of muscle!). I do love these dogs and am happy to have them over whenever Marnie or her husband come for a visit. Last week, I got a call from Marnie in tears that honestly came as a bit of a shock. Now, I’ve mentioned the shelves of pictures I have. Apparently, at their most recent visit, Marnie’s husband scrutinized the photos and realized that while each family has its own shelf, the grandkids get a separate shelf and none of the dogs’ photos were on that shelf. To be clear, I do have pictures of the dogs (and I love the dogs! Love the dog pictures!), but those pictures are only on Marnie and husband’s dedicated shelf. Michael and Anna’s families both have their own shelves, and then there’s an additional shelf just featuring pictures of my grandchildren (all school photos/pictures from formal dances, games, recitals). Marnie told me that she is hurt that I do not have pictures of her dogs on the “grandchildren” shelf because she said “they are my children” and she feels I do not value her or her family as much as Michael and Anna. This is just not true, and I admit, I got a little defensive out of shock. I pointed out that I spend equal amounts of time with each of my children, and everybody has their own designated call night. She said I’m always going to Michael’s daughter’s soccer games or Anna’s children’s dance recitals, and I countered that I also went to Marnie’s husband’s softball games (I even hosted their league holiday party last year!) We argued for about an hour and just kept returning to the dog pictures not being on the same shelf as the grandchildren, and all I could really say was that I never considered the dogs as my grandchildren, just beloved family pets. Marnie hung up on me after that, and I felt absolutely horrible because it felt like we were both talking past each other. Michael called me just moments after hanging up, because it was his family’s designated call night and I’d missed our usual time. I was still upset from the call with Marnie and told him about our conversation (which I should not have done and absolutely regret), and he immediately went off on his sister. He was furious that she was angry with me, and offended that she would even suggest her dogs were “on the same level” as his or Anna’s children. I quickly got the sense from his rant that this was a resentment long-brewing between the two of them. They didn’t really see eye-to-eye as children, but they’ve always been friendly to each other in front of me, and Marnie is a great aunt to both Michael’s and Anna’s children. But he just went absolutely in on his sister, calling her selfish and spoiled and delusional (which I told him was inappropriate and rude and not something I wanted to hear him say about his sister). He said that he and Anna had been putting up with her “BS” (although he didn’t use the abbreviation) for too long, and that he couldn’t believe she was trying to drag me into this “nonsense.” He closed out his rant by saying that comparing her dogs to his children was a “f-ing insult” and he wouldn’t stand for that “sh—”. He then got an earful about swearing at his mother, and by that time it was far past the children’s bedtime, so I missed out on catching up with them. All around, not a good night. I tried calling both Marnie and her husband the next day, and got sent straight to voicemail. I assumed it was too early and they needed some more time to cool off, so I just left messages saying I loved them and missed them and hoped we could talk more about this. I sent a text message on Sunday to Marnie, but she didn’t reply. So I waited until today, Marnie’s designated call day, to try again, but I got sent straight to voicemail again. Michael and Anna both have tried calling Marnie and her husband, and they’ve also not gotten through. I feel like an emotional bomb has dropped on my family, and all I want is to get everyone in a room to talk this out. It’s Thanksgiving next week, and I want everyone to feel welcome and happy in my home, but I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice or insight to provide in this situation? tl;dr: Childfree daughter is heartbroken I didn’t consider her dogs as my grandchildren. Her older brother is offended at the idea of her dogs being “on the same level” as his children. I don’t know how to handle this. Who’s wrong? Who’s right? RELEVANT COMMENTS SleepPrincess First thing, this seems rather silly that everyone is all upset about pictures on a shelf. I think maybe everyone should take a step back and realize that this is not worth such upset and discord. I'm getting the sense that Marnie has some emotional issues surrounding the fact that she is childless as compared to her siblings. It also seems that she feels some sense of inferiority to her sibling's families that have kids. I think maybe you should consider opening a conversation regarding that. I'm not entirely sure that this is exclusively about the dogs and the pictures... Edit: Is it possible that Marnie and her husband are struggling with infertility or something like that? Or have they made it clear they do not intend on having children? OOP No, Marnie and her husband have always said they never want to have children. She actually staged a little "coming out" to me just before they were married, to tell me that she and her husband were not going to have children. I was fully supportive and honestly not surprised, as she never expressed an interest in children the way Michael and Anna had. And yes, this does seem silly, which leads me to believe it's about much more than the photos. I tried asking Michael if this subject has come up between them before, but he's clammed up. Maybe I should ask Anna? I'd be very upset, after all the hullabaloo I've made about wanting them to make their own choices and live their own lives, if it turned out they'd been insulting and shaming each other behind my back. I thought I raised them better than that. ~ CormoranStrikesBack Be aware that Marnie may have been giving your son and her sister a tremendous amount of shit about this behind your back, which is why he blew up. I'd be FURIOUS if someone tried to intimate that my mom should love their dog as much as she would love any of my children. And I'm a dog person!!!! OOP I suspect this might be part of the issue. Michael's eluded to prior fights between them on this issue, although he won't tell me exactly what's been said. One of my grandchildren set up a FaceBook account for me that I never use, but I've thought about maybe looking at their accounts to see if there are any hints of these past fights. But part of me feels like that's overstepping my bounds. ~ justalittlebird88 I'm wondering if there's a deeper issue here. I don't think she logically believes you need to treat her dogs like grandchildren so I would personally suspect one of the following: She wants children but can't right now or can't at all, or feels bad she does not want to. Perhaps it's biological or perhaps it is her own guilt that she may feel for choosing not to, thinking you may see her as "less than" She has always felt overshadowed by her older siblings and this is the problem she chose to express her need for attention and validation from you over. I think she's wrong in how she's choosing to express her feelings, it's a very strange argument to treat dogs as grandchildren, but obviously there's a part of your family life she feels like she is being robbed of, or guilty over and she needs to work through those issues. I would try to get to the feelings behind the facade of the 'dogs as children' thing. OOP Marnie and her husband got married with the understanding that neither wanted children. She's never expressed a desire to be a mother, and I absolutely respect that. But yes, I'm worried that subconsciously I've given off some feeling that I'm disappointed or upset that she doesn't have children. I would hate so much to know that I was the cause of this angst, inadvertently or otherwise. I just want each of my children to live the life they want for themselves, and not feel they "owe" me a particular version of that life. I know that I can't expect each of my children to have a perfect relationship with their siblings, but I do wonder now if Marnie is feeling left out in some way, because Michael and Anna share an experience she doesn't have. It breaks my heart to think one of my children might feel like less than the other two, simply because she chose a different path in life. Has OOP attended events for dogs? I actually have gone to events for the dogs! About two years ago, the oldest dog was entered into a local sled-pulling competition, and I attended the race. I've also gone to the dog park with all of them, and attended a couple of obedience school graduations. They give the dogs a little graduation cap and it's adorable! Update Nov 15, 2017 (later that same day) Well, I just got off the phone with my middle daughter, Anna, and bless her for dealing with this nonsense when she's trapped at home on bedrest. I now have a much better understanding of the situation and thought I would share some of that with all of you, since you've been so kind as to spare me your time today. Also, I've learned that I have raised quite the trio of potty-mouths, and I'm thinking a swear jar fund for family vacations isn't out of the question! I decided not to text Anna and bring her further into this mess because of the aforementioned bedrest, but little did I know that she had spent most of her morning haranguing both of her siblings for their behavior. This fight apparently spilled over to FaceBook and just consisted of the two of them posting "statuses" about each other but not bothering to actually speak. Anna saw this, knew that I had been brought into the fight, and decided she would end it herself. While I appreciate her efforts, I am a little annoyed that all of this tension was boiling under the family and that my children apparently felt the need to protect me from their arguments, and then they go and explode the family with a resentment no one bothered to share. I'm also a little upset that Anna felt the need to act as mediator, when Michael and Marnie should have behaved like adults and simply had a discussion. I'm planning some significant one-on-one time with all of my children in the near future, just so that we can clear the air and everyone knows that they've been heard. Michael claims that Marnie started it, while Anna says that Michael started it. But regardless, one or two off-color comments from younger, more stubborn, and more insecure people about the others' choices has snowballed over the years to this new nonsense. Marnie felt judged for choosing not to have children, and Michael felt disrespected by some disparaging remarks his sister made in the past. Anna has been witness to most of these little spats, and I told her I don't want any more specifics, because it was wrong of them to throw me in the middle of this the way they did, and I'm certainly not going to let myself be put in the middle again. I'm also hoping Anna washes her hands of their fighting, but I know that it's ultimately her choice. My children are good at communicating with me, but less so communicating amongst themselves. Anna's told me to expect a call from both of them this afternoon, after they get dinner together and talk things out. I'm not expecting that everything will be perfectly resolved after one conversation, but I am glad to know they can put aside their grievances with each other long enough to try. Anna has also told me (with permission from Marnie) that part of Marnie's blow up had to do with a fight with her in-laws. They are less willing to accept not having grandchildren from their son. His father is a "senior," he is a "junior," and they were expecting a "the third." So that's about where things are left. I'm still upset at both Michael and Marnie, but I'm not really looking for an apology from either of them. I just want both of them to know that they are loved and respected. I'm sorry if this is all a bit rambling, as Anna had a lot to say. I'm thinking of suggesting the four of us attend a family therapy session after Thanksgiving, just to get everyone on the same page. I would also like to say thank you to everyone who commented (and there are so many!) but a special thanks to those who offered their perspective as childfree people like Marnie. I feel like I have a better idea now of some thoughts and feelings she might be having, whether she realizes it or not, and how we can keep improving our relationship. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/rulesrulesrules7 Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [25 M] duration 7 months. My boyfriend is very jealous and keeps making "rules" for me to follow TRIGGER WARNING: Abusive behavior, controlling behavior, gaslighting, manipulation, verbal abuse, infidelity MOOD SPOILER: An amazing ending for OOP Original Post Apr 4, 2015 Hello, everyone. I have a bit of a weird predicament to share with you. I have been dating my boyfriend ("Peter") for about 7 months now. When we get along, we get along spectacularly. Our chemistry is off the charts, we're playful, we're both driven, we have similar interests (same career path, both read for leisure, both interested in exercise). I've been told by many friends that they can just sense how much we care about each other and that we have the same disposition: calm, relaxed, sweet. If not for the following stuff, I would be head over heels for him. Hell, I already am when he's not acting this way. So this stuff started happening about a month in. Peter is an extremely jealous person. He's admitted this to me. He can also be a bit judgmental and conservative. The following is a list of things he's asked me to do for him throughout the course of our relationship. I haven't asked for anything like this in return and I've even asked him if he feels like I've done the same and he's said no: No cursing. No low-cut shirts. No weed (not a big deal, I've smoked < 10 times and was okay with giving this up for him). He prefers me to not get "drunk." Not a big deal, I don't drink a lot, but it kind of sucks that I can never let loose and get tipsy with my friends without a comment from him. No perverted jokes: with him, or anyone else. He says the jokes would be funny if a guy said them but they're not funny when I do it. No using a joking "little kid" voice with friends - even girls. No talking about other guys around him because he thinks I'm trying to make him jealous. No talking about past relationships, even though he does this. No emoticons in texts with other guys. No exclamation points or sounding "too flirty or happy" when talking to guys. Audibly say "goodbye" when we part ways. Verbally greet him, even if I'm late to class. No speaking to male friends on the telephone or texting after 10 pm at night. Text him when I leave my apartment and I'm on the way to school. This isn't a specific rule, but if I don't text him for 3-4 hours during the day, he'll say "Oh, hi there, silent one. What have you been up to?" He likes me to stop by his study space when I get to school, before class, after class, and before I leave at the end of the day. He's stopped by my space less than 10 times in our 7 months together. He asks me if I'm "behaving" when we're not together physically. We've had a bit of a power struggle when I've wanted to go out with my group of friends. There is a structured timetable of how much I'm allowed to talk to my ex. We broke up two years ago and a half and had a year of silence. Recently, we've been speaking on facebook. (He doesn't have my phone number). It's random stuff about our undergraduate. Just friendly stuff, lighthearted. I'm only allowed to talk to him once every three weeks for 10-15 minutes. If he facebooks me and it's been outside those three weeks, I'm not supposed to respond. He still gets mad even when the ex facebooks me. I'm not supposed to "flirt" with members of the opposite sex. I don't. However, he's seen interactions between guys and me and it appears he thinks that anything along the lines of smiling, laughing, or sarcasm are grounds for flirting. He "doesn't like" easily 80% of the guys I interact with on a regular basis. There have been a few incidents that have bothered me in the time we've been together. In the interest of time, the most recent problem he and I have been having is my friend named James. James graduated last year from the program that Peter and I are in together. He's a big brother type to me. He was an assigned TA for the class I was in and I went to a study group he led. We became friends. We've been friends for three years and nothing has ever happened and neither James nor I have ever shown any interest in it. We just have similar political views and give each other dating advice on occasion. James came to visit the school and he and I got together for lunch while he was here. He was here for 3 days and I saw him once for only an hour. Before he visited, we texted back and forth maybe once every ten days. Since he visited, it's been 2-3 times a week, about 10 texts at a time. Nothing outrageous. I imagine it'll start lessening when it's been longer since his visit and exams approach. He's in a new city without a lot of friends and I enjoy talking to him. Because he's working, he usually texts me on Saturday and Sunday more than the work week. James texted me last Saturday morning. I didn't answer so he followed up with a text on Sunday. We chatted briefly about a TV show. Then he texted me again this Saturday to tell me about his date the night before. This has been driving Peter up the wall. He's demanded to see the texts back and forth. Even though I strongly object to this, as I think it's an invasion of privacy only 7 months in, I let him see all the texts. There was nothing inappropriate there (this is where the "no emoticon" rule came from though). However, Peter says that James is a "shark" and is only friends with me because he wants to date me. This is ridiculous because James and I have no feelings towards each other, act more like siblings, and are going to be living in different states for the rest of our lives. Peter causes a fight EVERY time he notices James texting me or gets pouty and silent until I ask him what's wrong, then we fight. About two hours ago, Peter gave me another rule. He wants me to arrange it so James only texts me once a week. No word yet on how many texts I would be "allowed" to exchange with him. He also says he doesn't want us talking about "intimate things." When I asked him what that entailed, he brought up that he was mad that I told James that I was going to take a nap in the last conversation we had. I only told James that as a conversation-ender so he wouldn't wonder why I wasn't responding. Peter just seems unreasonable. I guess, here's the big problem. I feel like Peter gets mad about something, fights with me until I'm worn down, then comes up with a "compromise" which is really just him imposing another rule on me. There was a guy who liked me at the beginning of the year that I eventually just had to block on my phone because Peter got so mad about it. He's asked me twice to show him that the guy is really blocked. He really is. Same thing happened with the ex and I know his end game is me never speaking to the ex again. Peter had a jealousy issue with my friend Rob and wore me down to the point that I basically just avoid Rob now (Rob even approached to ask if I was mad at him and apologize for whatever he did). I just feel like this is going to keep happening over and over. I never get the benefit of the doubt, James is constantly afraid I'm going to be "stolen" and I feel like I teeter-totter between wanting to give him what he asks so he'll feel comfortable and feeling like it will never be enough. I feel like a caged animal. I'm afraid every time James texts me or any guy speaks to me in front of Peter. I like him so much but this jealousy is driving me crazy. I'm also afraid if we're together, I'm going to get to the point where I'm not allowed to be friendly with 50% of the population. I'm in danger of losing a total of 3 good, respectful guy friends, all of which I've known for longer than Peter. (I knew Rob for two years, James for 3, and the ex for nearly 6). I'm not a bad person or a bad girlfriend and I'm tired of being treated this way. We fight at least weekly, sometimes twice a week, over an issue like this. I just want it to stop and to be with the person I fell so hard for. But I also don't want to end up in a controlling relationship with someone who can't manage their jealousy. Any advice? Ever been on his side or mine? He's already going to a counselor but our school only provides one every two weeks and he missed his last appointment. He's open to couple's counseling but I don't know if there's a point 7 months in. Because he missed the last appointment, he hasn't brought up the jealousy thing with his counselor yet. He's willing to read books on this topic but I feel like the problem is that he won't start to get better until he really trusts me and wants to change. He says that he does but then he keeps doing this stuff. tl;dr: Very jealous boyfriend continually gives me "rules." Sample list above (not all of them). Any ideas on how to make him more comfortable? Is this fixable? Have you been on either side of something like this? RELEVANT COMMENTS MeltMyCheeseKThxBai You just presented us with a literal bullet point list of why you need to break the fuck up with him, ASAP. PETER is the shark here. And actually, you're right- this WILL keep happening over and over. Not only will it keep happening, but it will keep escalating. Here is a list for you, and I will call it "Soon." Soon, you will be afraid to walk around while looking anywhere but the ground because you don't want to be accused of purposely making eye contact with someone. Soon, you will compliantly give him access to all of your stuff to placate him and he will peruse your personal stuff regularly; many confrontations will result about your "infractions" and he will spring them on you at inconvenient times. Soon, you will not be allowed to interact or be friendly with anyone who isn't on his approved list; this will eventually include your family. Soon, while you're constantly on eggshells afraid to be accused of cheating, you will find out that he actually cheated on you. Maybe with one of those exes he likes to talk about. Because, you see, these types are so paranoid about cheating because they are cheaters and think everyone else will cheat too. Soon, if you have a job, he will be asking about your coworkers and maybe even show up there for a "surprise inspection". Don't be surprised if soon, additionally, he starts the practice of keeping you up all night fighting and not letting you sleep when he knows you have to work. Soon, you will stop butting heads about you going out with friends. This is because he will make your every attempt so miserable that you will give up to make things "easier". Soon, you will be but a shell of your former self and will wonder who the fuck that is staring at you in the mirror. Soon, he may become violent. He likely won't until he has effectively removed your support systems (friends and family) but eventually he damn near certainly will. I hope that SOON you heed the warnings and get the fuck away from this lunatic before he ruins you. Seriously, you have to get this. This is very, very bad. He will not change no matter how much counseling he gets. You modifying your behavior will NEVER change his. He is fucking dangerous and you need to end it with him NOW before he gets the chance to employ more advanced tactics on you. You are in dire need of these two books; "The Gift of Fear" and "Why Does He Do That?" I beg you, read them. Please seriously get the fuck away from this person. Edit: More stuff coming Soon to a relationship near you (will add as I think of them): Soon, he will call you "slut" and/or "whore" for the first time because "he told you not to wear that shirt". You will get upset. You also will never wear that shirt again. OOP I don't live near my family but there was a time last weekend where I was texting my family about a basketball game. We were cuddling on the couch and he took the phone away and said "Babe, can we just have 'us' time? We've been fighting all day and I just want to be with you." So that might be eminent. We fought today after James texted me about his date last night. I've been sick with a 101+ fever the past two days and cuddling with my childhood stuffed animal. He picked her up and acted like he was going to rip her arm off because he "wanted to scare me" and "see what I would do." I had to stop myself from kicking him. I've had the animal since I was 5 and she's from my dead grandmother. I don't know what I would do if she was broken. When I got her back, I tried to kick Peter out and he wouldn't leave. I ended up throwing his shoes and keys into the hallway and pushing him out the door. He took me out to lunch and then went back to the library. Now he's mad that we're going to bed angry. This was one of the texts I got this afternoon: "I know you don't want to hurt his (meaning James) feelings by telling him to take it easy on texts but you need to consider your boyfriend's feelings about this guy texting you so often every week. What he is doing is crossing my boundary. I know you don't want to hurt his feelings so I get you might not want to tell him flat out to stop texting. There are other ways. The main point is that this is too much and it is crossing a line of mine. I think once a week might be ideal and if we could reach that, it would ease my feelings. I ask that you consider my feelings. In return, I will make sure my jealousy does not lead me to imposing boundaries. You can tell him the truth: that he is crossing my boundaries and I ask that he respects me. I am being reasonable. All of our fights the last few weeks have been about this. If this goes away, then we both win and we can stay together happier." When I asked him what he's ever done in exchange for what I've given up, he said that he went through a phase of criticizing me and he's gotten better. That that was real change. Then he told me that I mean the world to him and he wouldn't go out of his way to try and fix our issues if he didn't care about me and being together for the future. I told him I wanted a break. Update May 1, 2015 (1 month later) Hi, all. Sorry that I dropped off and stopped responding all the sudden. I want to take a moment to sincerely thank you all for the outpouring of support and kindness that you showed me after my original post. I've read every single comment and PM probably 4 times and watched every lecture that was sent my way. I also went and picked up a book two days ago about controlling relationships which was recommended to me by a few redditors. I've read 160 pages so far. Honestly, I'm so turned around in this relationship that I don't know what's happening anymore. I do think that this relationship has some disturbingly manipulative and controlling elements coming from Peter. We've had several incidents in the last four weeks which have been very disheartening. Here are a sample: I went out to happy hour with friends - a guy and girl that are engaged to each other - at 5 pm while Peter studied. I guess he assumed we were eating dinner together because we eat most of our meals together. He didn't confirm that though. He knew where I was going and who I was with. I put my phone away because my friends both had their phone away and it was just us three. My phone was on silent because I had been in the library. I checked my phone every half hour or so. The last time I checked it, he had sent me a text asking about dinner and then a snarky follow up 15 minutes later. I had order an appetizer with my friends and wasn't hungry. I told him to go ahead and eat without me and we'd meet up later. I decided to go back to my friends' house to play with their dog and have another beer. Peter had told me that he was going to study until 10 pm and then wanted to spend the night together. All the sudden, Peter was mad at me for not telling him I was eating, not telling him we switched locations (even though I did, within 10 minutes of switching places) and telling me that he had right as my boyfriend to know where I was. He said I was inconsiderate and selfish. He was texting me every 10-15 minutes, angry at me, and completely ruined the night. I couldn't hide from my friends that I was upset and it was borderline humiliating. I went home by 10 pm but didn't want to see him because I was angry. He didn't apologize until the next day after we talked about it extensively and even then tried to justify it. I feel weird around my friends now that they've seen this. There was another incident when we ran into one of my good friends and I stopped to chat with her. Peter and I had spend the night together, had lunch together, and gone on a walk. I caught up with my friend for 3 minutes and then planned on walking to Peter's study space to chat for a few minutes before going back to my friend to study with her. (Peter likes to say "goodbye" even though we study like 20 ft apart, separated by a wall.) Peter got impatient, felt ignored, and walked off. Then he sent me several texts about how rude and inconsiderate I was by pretending that he wasn't there. That wasn't true at all; I was telling my friend I liked her sweater, asking her how she was, then I was going to exit with Peter to fill my water bottle and say goodbye. This blew up into a 3 hour argument via text. I had my best friend from home visiting last weekend. She stayed with me and drove 18 hours round trip in 4 days just to see me. Peter constantly texted, made passive aggressive comments if I didn't respond quickly enough, and generally was negative about me not giving him enough attention. I pointed all this out, he agreed and told me he would calm down. We all went to a dinner on her last night in town and I thought it went nicely. When Peter got out of the car, my friend made a comment that she was glad to see Peter and I getting along better. 5 minutes later, I got a text from Peter criticizing me, accusing me of not acting like a "couple" with him, acting distant, and not holding his hand. I was shocked. I thought I did a great job with the conversation, he talked for his fair share amount of time, and he got along well with my friend. She's been my best friend for 10 years. He said he hates how I "always do this." I have literally no idea what he's talking about. This wasn't a date. This was the first time he met one of the people who was most important to me and the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel like a third wheel. I told him I wasn't going to argue while she was in town but obviously was upset for the rest of the night. He apologized the next day but only after a long conversation. Obviously he didn't make a great impression once my friend saw the aftermath of dinner. Peter and I had a good day on Tuesday. We had fun, were getting along, etc. I came over to his place, took a nap, he went to soccer, and then I ordered us dinner. We ate together and bonded. I checked my phone (I keep it in my backpack now, at his request) and he saw I had a text. He wanted to know who it was from and what it said. I told him it was from James, asking where I was studying this summer (my home state or school state). Peter started lecturing me about getting texts after 10 pm (it was 10:30 where we were, 9:30 where James was). He talked about how it was inappropriate, he wouldn't talk to a girl so late, and asked why James wanted to know where I was. He asked if James was planning on visiting me. James and I have no plans like that whatsoever. Later, I got chapstick out of my backpack and Peter started accusing me of sneaking around to text James back. I wasn't. He asked me three times if that's what I did. I almost left but Peter convinced me to stay. All of the sudden, I felt suspicious. I asked to see his facebook chat log so I could see when he had lasted facebooked his ex that he swears he hasn't spoken to. He refused. I ended up leaving, then coming back and saying if he wouldn't show me the same transparency he's demanded from me, it was over. He still tried to say no. In retrospect, I'm horrified by how angry I felt. I wanted to push him or hit him. I've never, ever felt like that towards another person. It's like I didn't recognize myself. He ended up showing me the log. He had a long conversation with his ex from Christmas Eve, which was laden with inside jokes, flirting, and sexual references. I asked to see his phone. Whole months were missing from his call log but he had two voicemails from her which insinuated they had some contact with each other. He swears that's all there is but almost half his call log is gone. This is something I could forgive in a normal relationship -with remorse and change - but it hurts a lot considering that he's breaking rules he's given me, lied, and been hypocritical. I feel so watched and suffocated over actual guy friends, subjected myself to structured timetables imposed by him, had an open phone policy, and he's off talking about suggestive stuff with his ex. She's blocked him now but that's not the point. He's got me to the point where I feel guilty every time a male friend talks to me and I've actually started believing that I'm doing something wrong if I laugh at a guy friend's joke. I feel sick when my phone goes off if I'm around him. I've been reading literature on controlling/abusive relationships and shared my concerns with him that he's meandering into this territory. He's been dismissive of it almost every time I've brought it up. I've had three friends tell me they're concerned based on the rules and his jealousy. He just says he has high standards and boundaries and that I would be jealous too if the roles were reversed. I don't think I would be but he insists I would. I just feel like he doesn't listen to me or take me seriously. I thought things were getting better, he said I could text James whenever I wanted and he would be less harsh/critical in general. Yesterday though, he asked if I had responded to James and why "that guy" wanted to know where I was and said it was weird James was being so nosy. I think James was just making conversation. Then, last night, I was studying with friends and Peter walked by. Peter and I had just fought (we had been at dinner 10 minutes before) and I was mid-word in conversation with a friend and just made eye contact with him and looked away. I got a text asking why I didn't smile and wave. I apologized and said it was my fault and didn't mean to hurt his feelings. I then got more texts saying I was "cold" and demanding an explanation. That got me upset and I tried to tell him that the constant criticism and control was too much. That I felt like he was trying to control my emotions and make me pretend to be happy when I wasn't. He told me I was overreacting and he was tired of arguing and just wanted "to be good and nice." I feel like he starts a fight, expresses his feelings, then wants it to be over, even though the criticism and control is really wearing me down and making me agitated. I just feel like if I stay with him, I'm going to end up giving in and letting him criticize me, letting go of my guy friends, and apologizing when I mess up. That I'll just end up a shell of myself and cater to his needs instead of compromising. But I also don't think he's doing this on purpose. I think he gets insecure and doesn't know how to fix it, so he wants me to do it instead of asking himself if he's overreacting. I think that's how we get all these rules. He's fixing symptoms and not the root cause. I don't think any of this is malicious. I tried to break up with him again two days ago. He begged me to wait until after finals (8 days). Eventually I agreed but said that there would be no sleep overs or physical affection. He agreed but now he's trying to kiss me even when I tell him I don't want to kiss. Then he gets mad I'm not kissing back. He says he knows now that he's being controlling and manipulative and he'll change. But I'm not seeing any change. I just feel so confused as to whether I'm overreacting or not. I can't tell if he's actually being a little abusive and he makes me doubt myself because he doesn't call me names or hurt me physically. He wants to read the book when I'm done with it and says he'll learn from it and wants to stay with me. In 8 day finals are over. In 17 days, I graduate from law school. I just feel so bad about myself and confused. I've always been an empathetic person and emotionally intelligent person (that's usually what I'm "known for" by friends... know how to say the right thing at the right time and see things from other people's perspectives) but I feel so steamrolled. I'm also so embarrassed. I'm supposed to be this strong, capable woman and I can't even tell if my relationship is healthy. Right now, I'm planning on dumping Peter the second his final is over and blocking him on everything. I feel relief when I think about that. But I also feel scared that I'll miss him and that I'm being crazy and unwilling to compromise. That I'm throwing away something good by being dramatic. I keep trying to convince myself, apart from the question of whether he's controlling, that if I'm not happy, I can't stay with Peter. That long distance is too hard. He wants to interview at law firms in my city and plan on how to get back together in a year. I can't do that if I have any doubts and I don't want to spend another day miserable. I HAVE to dump him. I just need to make sure I do. I've already tried multiple times. I can't get talked back into this. This isn't healthy. Sidenote: He knows that I've posted on here but not what my username is and he hasn't seen the original post. It's a possibility he could stumble upon this and he would obviously recognize it because of this level of detail. TL;DR: I feel like a crazy person. I'm doubting my emotions. I know I need to break up with him but I'm so worried I'm being overdramatic and ruining something because I'm unreasonable. I know I need to get out but why am I so reluctant to? Final Update from the "Rules" girl - I did it. May 25, 2015 (24 days after 1st update) I finally did it. Today I took the last step and blocked him on all my accounts (10 minutes ago). We're going no contact. You all were right that he used the time before and immediately after finals to draw me back in. I don't really regret waiting though. I didn't want to be the reason that he ended up messing up all his finals and potentially not getting a job he wanted because of grades. That isn't the person that I want to be and I'm okay with sacrificing a few weeks of my happiness for retaining that part of myself. The following weeks were full of his apologies, assurances that he's changing, etc. But nothing changed. I realized that I didn't even want to wait around to see if he could get better because I don't want to be with him. He's not respectful of me and you can't teach respect. He seems completely incapable of empathizing with me and taking me into consideration when making plans. He wouldn't listen to me, he was dismissive of my concerns, and I just didn't feel valued, supported, or happy when we spoke. When I broke up with him, he said that's what he wanted too because my interactions with men (including James) are "inappropriate" and "not in line with his beliefs." Two months ago that would have really bothered me and I would have gotten reeled back in defending myself but I just said "You know that's not true but I'm not going to fight with you about it. I wish you the best. Goodbye." and then blocked him. I feel a little sad and lonely. It'll be weird to go from nearly constant contact and cutesy text messages to complete and utter silence but I'm hoping the payoff of not having horrible fights multiple times a week will balance that out. The good news: I graduated last week, made honor roll, got the highest award in a competitive class, I'm back in my home state, living with my parents (I adore them and get along well with them), and my bar review class starts tomorrow morning. I'm back to running and lifting multiple times a week and I'm in the process of booking up my social calendar. It'll be hard to stop checking my phone compulsively and sad going to sleep without saying goodnight to him, but I think that I'm in the best circumstances (aka not living one building away) to make this fade as gently as possible. I've reached out to a friend already and she supports my decision. I'll reach out to a few others this afternoon. The hardest part of this is letting go of the fantasy that he would get better and I could have this intense, passionate, beautiful relationship with him that was also healthy. I let his possessiveness slide because I felt so intensely cared about. But now I know what to watch out for in the future. I'm going to remain single for the rest of 2015 in an effort to build myself back up and prevent another toxic relationship. I will protect myself in the future the way I would protect a friend. I'm 25 now and I need to start taking who I date more seriously because I don't want to end up married to someone like Peter. I'm scared of the future, of being with someone like him, and of never feeling this level of passion again. I'm especially afraid that I really am all the things he accused me of being. But I know I'm doing the right thing. This is usually when he would come running to my door, knocking, waiting, and begging me to unblock him. This is the first time I won't. Thank you, so much, for your support and patience. This sub gets a lot of grief for a myriad of reasons but you all do so much good. So much more than you even know. I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you that commented and especially those that direct messaged me. You all were a lifeline to me when I wasn't ready to turn to my friends. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. tl;dr: I dumped him. Got accused of sort-of cheating (again) during the break up. Feeling weird but relieved. Blocked him on everything. Just wanted to share the good news. Two years out of an abusive relationship and I'm so happy, I could burst. July 29, 2017 (over 2 years later) Two years ago, I posted some rather desperate r/relationships questions asking for help. (If you're curious the initial cry for help, starting to gather strength to leave, the jubilant break up post. I knew deep down that something was desperately wrong with my relationship but I was hellbent on fixing it. The posts were the beginning of finding my way out of what felt like a mindfog. I tried to post on relationships to let people know how it was going, in the hopes that if there were people considering leaving similar situations, they know that something better is out there. Unfortunately, relationships doesn't allow multiple posts. However, I felt an intense desire to share the "after" part of leaving an abusive relationship to let women know that there IS life after an abuser, even if they feel like their world will cease without the relationship. I hope this sub is an okay place for this. It only took about two months after my break up to know that I would 100% be okay. That moment came while I was on a family vacation and was curling my hair in the mirror. I made eye contact with my reflection. I remember being startled because I saw someone looking back that looked calm. She wasn't worried about whether she'd get called slutty, whether smiling too much at dinner would get her accused of cheating, or whether the swimsuit she chose for the pool would get her accused of "showing off" and yelled at. For the first time in a year, I felt happy, safe, and confident. I became nearly giddy realizing I hadn't been criticized in months and I felt FREE. It took so much for me to get out of the relationship. I think I was borderline addicted to the highs and lows. Every time I started to escape, I got "love bombed" (learned this term in my research post-break up) and pulled back in. I was worried nothing would ever feel as good as that relationship. However, I followed all the “standard break up advice” and worked out, reconnected with friends, started up new hobbies and (very importantly!) went to counseling. It was a long road, but a much easier one than I originally expected. And at the end of it, I was happy. Here's a list of things that have happened to me in the last two years that have been better than that relationship: Passing my state's bar to become a lawyer; Starting a new job where I feel challenged and respected; Getting a gorgeous new apartment downtown; Getting into the best shape of my life; Making friends with a strong group of intelligent, kickass women that my ex would have never let me befriend; Drinking/smoking/sleeping without being guilted for not following my ex's expectations for what I should be doing with my time; Getting a cat and not needing to worry about her safety around my ex or him getting jealous; Leaving my house without having to give text updates about where I am; Smiling at strangers without being questioned over it; Being approached to run for office in 2018 and saying yes because I want to do it; and Literally everything. Here's what I want to say to anyone who is interested: Anyone can get sucked into an abusive relationship. It doesn't matter how smart you are, how confident you are, or how independent you want to be. Just because you’re in one doesn’t make you dumb or worthless. It doesn’t make you easy prey or unable to be in a healthy relationship next time. The only antidote is listening to your gut and respecting boundaries that you put into place for your own life. There were so many times that I felt a pit in my stomach and knew something was wrong but ignored it because I felt like a compromise could be found. Some people out there are scary, they are manipulative, and they do not want the best for you. They only care about themselves and you cannot make them respect you, value you, or treat you well. When you meet that person, don't try to change them. Cut your losses and leave. Don't let their voice get in your head and to start believing their narrative of who you are. It took me nearly a year to undo the damage that an 8 month relationship did to me. (Can you believe things got this bad in 8 months?!) I would internally feel myself panic for months after the break up when I laughed too much with my friends, thinking that I would be getting lectured about being fake/flirty/inappropriate. It took me so long to start making sarcastic jokes again (my ex didn't "get them" or think they were funny). I basically had to regrow all myself self confidence and redefine myself worth. I could barely even express an opinion on where I wanted to eat since it hadn't mattered in so long. Once I got past that, I remember marveling at the tranquility of my life being mine, my self esteem returning to normal, and people treating me gently/kindly. My parents told me I was happier than they’d seen me in a year and my best friend told me that she was glad “to have me back.” (Side note: Counseling is IMPORTANT. People that are in an abusive relationship are more likely to get into another one than someone who has never been abused. When you are being abused, up looks like down and down looks like up. Going to counseling helped me re-orient, figure out what was normal, and taught me to listen to my gut. It helped me rebuild and make sure this wouldn’t happen again. I didn’t even need many sessions but I actually liked it by the end! I’m forever a gigantic advocate of finding a counselor that fits your needs well.) I don’t want this to be the point of my post, so I’m putting it last. I took a dating hiatus for 6 months after the break up and tried to rebuild on my own. I think this was extremely important to help me re-center. After the six month hiatus, I wrote out parameters for dating and a list of things I needed in a partner (kindness, gentleness, warmth, an even temper). I was picky, I stopped seeing people that I felt weren’t listening to me or weren’t treating me well. After six months of dating, I found someone that fit the list. I’ve been dating him for a bit over a year, and I can’t stress how different this relationship is. It’s night and day. I’m listened to, respected, treated like a real partner, and my boundaries matter. I can be friends with whoever I want (I’m still good friends with James!) and my alone time is given with no questions asked. Tl;dr: I was in an abusive relationship, asked reddit for help, and they came through. Life is so much better post-break up. I want to emphasize this can happen to anyone, just because it’s happening doesn’t mean you deserve it. Get out! Life gets better than you can imagine. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/bitchesbebonkers6 Originally posted to r/ComfortLevelPod My roommate is pregnant with my Ex’s Baby Trigger Warnings: possible grooming, incest, racism My Bf and roommate planned a "surprise” that turned out to be baby supplies: February 17, 2026 My sanity feels like it's spiraling and I have finally convinced myself to come to reddit for the first time. Comfort level pod has always been a channel I’ve adored and love listening to ,so I know y'all got the best advice and I'm ready to hear all of it. Okay, so as y'all know, this past weekend was Valentine's Day. For the past month, me (F24) and my roommate Jackie F25 have been arguing and butting heads because we live in a 2 bedroom apartment and she just found out she was pregnant and claims that she doesn't know who the father is. But she basically wants me to either move out or room in the living room until I can afford to move out. We have lived together for 3 years. She's best friends with my stepsister F26 We're not super close, we're not best friends, but we were close enough to move in together, if you get the idea. Okay, so this past Thursday I got home early from work around, and when I walked in I was just settling down, about to make something to eat, when I see my boyfriend walking toward the door like he's about to leave the apartment. And I say Jaden? M25 and I ask what he was doing here since I had just spoken to him and he said he was on his way to work. He works on the opposite side of town, so he would have no reason to be on this side of town unless he was seeing me, because he also lives on the opposite side of town. He quickly stops and goes, Oh hey babe," and tries to hug me. Well, he's my boyfriend, so obviously I hugged him. And I go What are you doing here? And that's when Jackie comes out she says, "Oh my God, we didn't ruin the surprise, did we?" I was completely dumbfounded. And said, "What do you mean?" And she says, Well, Jaden had a pretty big gift that he couldn't hide in his apartment, so he wanted to hide it here for you for V Day. that was fair because Jaden does live in a studio apartment where he has to share a bathroom and has a Husky, and his place is pretty occupied. So it was a good enough story for me to believe. I just laughed and said I couldn't wait to see it and made a joke about how now I have to up my game on gifts this year because usually we do simple stuff. For context, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years. He rushed out saying that he had to get to work. Everything was going by normal. comes Valentine's Day Me and my bf had planned on doing gift exchanges at my apartment and then going out for dinner and then a movie later on. So he comes over and immediately I'm like, "Me first, me first, because I'm always so excited to give him gifts. I give him a pair of Jordans that he had been constantly talking about, and a gaming headset and monitor. He starts talking about how happy he is and Then comes my turn. I get a bag with Pandora on it and I open it. It's a necklace. Now usually I'm not one for material things, but I will mention that later on after all this happened I did look up the necklace, and the total of this necklace was only 25 bucks and that was just for the pendant. He bought his own chain off Amazon, which was 10 bucks. So I smile and I say thank you, and there was just kind of an awkward silence because I was waiting. And he goes, “What? Why are you looking at me like that? And I laughed and said I know you still have that big gift in Jackie's room. I never saw you take it out, and I can still see it in her room. For context, there is a really big Amazon box in her room that was still taped up, never opened, in the corner of her room. So I assumed obviously that was my gift. He laughs and goes, Oh yeah, that they sent me the wrong thing, so I'll have to take it back. I said, What? What were you trying to get? What did they send? He says that he meant to get me a gaming chair, which is completely off topic considering I don't game. I've never been into gaming. What I actually asked for was a vanity or new acrylic paints. He got really weird. So I said What's in the box? because I can tell when he's lying and it just did not add up. He kept saying I don't know. It's supposed to be a gaming chair, but I have a feeling it's not a gaming chair. I got up and walked into Jackie's room, and I ask her, Do you know what's in that box? It was very clear she felt caught off guard and goes, Well, obviously it's your Valentine's Day gift. So I said, "Let's open it. I open it and low and behold, not a gaming chair. It's an Amazon box that had obviously been retaped over and had multiple smaller packages inside. As I'm opening these packages, it's baby clothes, bottles, diapers basically everything and anything that was baby related. hundreds of dollars’ worth of stuff. So I look at my boyfriend, who is now standing in Jackie's doorway, and I'm just like, What is this? What's going on? Why would you go out of your way to give her all this stuff? I'm so confused. Like when I tell you I was stuck, I was stuck. I had no idea what to do. I'm looking around and they're both looking so dumbfounded and guilty. I asked What is going on? And that's when Jaden just decides to go, "This isn't working. I think we need to end this." He grabs the gifts that I gave him and walks out the door. I start walking behind him. He quickly holds the headphones up in the air because I'm 5'2" and he's a little over 6 feet tall and says, No, it's a gift. No take backs, like we're fucking five. I said, Okay, snatch the box of shoes out of his other hand, and walk back to my apartment, close and lock the door. I walk into Jackie's room. I apologize for the outburst and I just say, Why was he here the other day? Why was he coming out of your room? What is going on? Just tell me the truth. I'm not going to lie, I had been thinking about that day in the back of my mind, but I just didn't put two and two together that they would have been cheating on me. He's never given me a reason to think he would cheat on me. I trusted him. And she goes, with the most blank expression, Jaden is my baby's father. I don't know what got into me. Usually I'm not someone to shut down or not express myself, but I literally had nothing to say to her. I just said, Hope it was worth it, went back to my room, closed the door, and locked it. I smoked myself into a coma. Woke up a few hours later. She was gone. I could tell she had packed up a lot of her clothes. When I get on my phone, the first thing I see is that I've been added to a group chat with Jackie, Jaden, my stepsister, and my stepmother all telling me that Jaden ended the relationship because he needed someone more secure like Jackie. Secure? I've been paying 70% of the rent for the past year. Jackie can't keep a job for the life of her, and I've been picking up all the pieces, putting food on the table. That's hilarious. Secure? More like a headache. I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. Not only was it the group chat, but it was also all of them privately messaging me about how we can work through this as a family and that Jaden and Jackie deserve to be happy and that my dad is going to help me find a new place of my own so Jaden can move into the apartment and they can start their family. I said, So my dad knows about this? My stepmom goes, No, but he knows that it's time you and Jackie split apart and you retain your independence as a woman. Long story short, I left the group. It is now Tuesday. I haven't seen or heard from Jackie, Jaden, or my stepmom since. Part of me wants to reach out to my dad because I know he probably doesn't know the full story, but I don't know where to go from this. Any advice? Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Tell your dad the truth. Your step mom and her daughter are shady as hell. Your ex is a loser who put your health at risk. Get tested. I’d tell everyone the truth. Those two should be ashamed of themselves. How pathetic is the other woman to accept such garbage treatment from him. Gross. OOP: Haven't been the closest to my Dad since the divorce but I did reach out to my mom and She has my back 100% and she currently lives a few hours from me And plans on coming down this weekend. And were gonna talk to my dad together, He has had a history of taking my stepsisters/moms Side so it'll be good to have my mom and her partner on my side. OOP responds to multiple comments about taking her roommate to the court for the rent she covered, and collect all documents to provide she covered the amounts and the lease OOP: I thought about this, but do you think I could actually fight it considering how long it’s been? + Collecting evidence as we speak + Yes I am on the lease we both are. Commenter 2: I would suggest you JUST pay your portion of the rent and everything else until you get out of there. Start looking for a new place and talk to your Dad. Tell him you need a father daughter lunch and then spill your guts on everything. Especially the part that your step monster and stepsister are in on the betrayal and siding with the traitors. OOP: Looking into it. Already Contacting landlord regarding Jackie dude to the fact she can’t afford her 1/2 of the bills and our manager as already scheduled an apartment walkthrough and New updated paystubs and Occupants (her baby). Hopefully we can get this All figured out but Jackie already tried reaching out a weeks ago apparently letting my landlord know I would be moving out at the end of our lease in May.....(which is NEVER was Informed my her) meaning she’s been planning all this be the whole fucking time Commenter 3: I'd laugh in his face make him doubt the paternity with all the guys I'd seen her take home. OOP: Which is hilarious considering She claims they've been Together for a year, But she just broke up with her Bf 4 months ago but 20 week pregnant. OOP on her stepmother and Jackie’s relationship OOP: Before my parents’ divorce Jackie and my step sister were best friends when my dad married my stepmom Jackie Soon became more like A 3rd sister....... Bad home life always With us, always Around. Apparently my stepmom sees Jackie more as a daughter than me. Commenter 5: The way your stepmom and stepsister is okay with this means YOUR STEPMOM MIGHT DID THE SAME THING TO YOUR MOM when she’s still with your dad. You know, mistresses can tell each other apart. Even if you’re not close to your dad, tell him the truth. Don’t let them twist the narrative by making themselves a victim of their own story. Ask a lawyer about your lease, ask about your options regarding their slandering (if they went to tell everyone lies about your relationship with your ex) and don’t let them walk into you like that. Go to therapy too because this is a massive betrayal, disrespect, and disappointment. OOP: Funny how you Got everything 100% correct. My Stepmom and dad very much did get married after a 2 year affair behind my mom’s back resulting in my stepmom getting pregnant with my Younger Half-sister (like history just repeating itself at this point.) Which is why I’m so blessed to have my Mother and her partner on my side. My Little brother (WHOLE brother) is even looking to move into the building with his Buddies For safety reasons.   Update #1 (small update): February 19, 2026 (two days later) Okay, I just want to thank everyone for the advice on my last post. I did want to add some context for those who were confused. Yes, my stepmom and my dad had an affair while he was married to my mom for two years. She found out she was pregnant, and that’s when my dad suddenly decided he wanted to “step up” and be a great dad just not to me and my brother. Only to my stepsister and Baby sister (26F and 7F). And yes, my mom is still very much in my life. She lives a few hours away with her partner. There’s distance, but she’s always been there for me. Through all of this, my little brother (22M) has really had my back. I’ve had to stop him from confronting Jaden a few times, but he’s been my support system and has been crashing on my couch for safety reasons. My mom is coming into town so we can talk to my dad and get this lease situation handled. My landlord is doing a room inspection and asking for updated pay stubs and employment verification, which I can provide. I know Jackie is going to struggle with that because she only works 15 hours a week. And Jaden’s only works 25. When I first found out she was pregnant a month ago, she told me she was 10 weeks. She’s super skinny like cheerleader skinny so I couldn’t even tell. I later found out she might actually be 20 weeks. My stepmom said 25. My boyfriend said 21. So clearly somebody is lying. After talking to my brother, even though I don’t want to, I think it might be best for me to move even if it’s just to another building. I don’t like them knowing exactly where I live. Now about the monitor and headset he took. I had one of my male friends reach out to meet up and get it back. He sent pictures both were clearly used, and very obviously looked like his dog chewed up the headset. At that point I said, you know what? You want to break $300 worth of gaming stuff? Fine. I went on Facebook, joined a local moms/selling group, and sold almost everything from that box. I made my $300 back. I told my friend to let Jackie and Jaden know they didn’t have to worry about the $300 anymore because I already got it back. Apparently they went crazy banging on my door while I wasn’t home. (Jackie didn’t take her keys). They were yelling that there was $800 worth of stuff in there. I price-checked it maybe $500 max. But I didn’t care about $500. I just wanted my $300 back, so I lowballed it and sold it. I kept the car seat (because I know it’s mandatory when leaving the hospital) and the pump supplies. Her baby shower is in a few weeks, and my friend joked about regifting it To her as a joke🤣. Yeah, I know Its petty. I’m mad. Call me bitter, I really don’t care anymore. She was also behind on her car payments. I had been helping her because she didn’t want her parents to know and said she’d be embarrassed. I didn’t pay it this month and I’m not helping next month either. They even tried to charge my card, and she requested it I blocked it immediately. Apparently she’s been telling my landlord I plan on moving out in May, which I never said. So that’s fun. I’m hoping to have another update Monday after we talk to the landlord, and my mom gets here so we can handle everything. This whole situation has put a dent in my life and I’m just ready to move on. I promise you that man ain’t cute enough to be tripping over. I’m good off him. Thanks again for the advice, Reddit. P.S. I’m not 100% sure about small claims court. I know how dramatic she is and how dragged out that could get. I don’t have the time or energy for that right now. As long as she agrees to move out, I’m good with how it ended. She can have him. She was never a sister to me, and evidently he was never my man. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: She is not paying her rent or car payment, so who does she expect to pay the bills? Have you talked to your Dad? OOP: Nope apparently my stepmom and stepsister had been helping her as well. Before she broke up with her bf he paid her car note. No I plan on talking to him This weekend. I've went no contact so far he has not attempted to reach out either. Commenter 2: The main question is: Is it really his child? Don't worry, Karma will be knocking soon OOP: No clue and I really don't care at this point it doesn't make a difference either way he cheated they both betrayed me and took advantage of my trust. But who knows because she jus broke up with her bf a few months ago. But considering she's claiming to be over 20 weeks....idk Commenter 3: Is roommate related to step mom? Like why is stepmother soooooo invested in taking this girl and ex boyfriends side? Something ain't right... OOP: Both Jackies mom and My stepmom were friends in Hs/also found out they were both pregnant around the same time so My stepsister and Jackie grew up Together After idk what all happened, but she has drugs problems and my stepmom felt obligated to look over her. Didn't wanna add that bit, but it feels necessary. Commenter 4: Good for you for moving in but why were you basically bankrolling her life? You were literally paying for everything. Grow a backbone next time. OOP: I do have a backbone if I may add. And she was considered "Family" I've known her for 10 years now and Ik her background. Ik She what was going through that's all I’m gonna say. Not here to blast all her problems but I really did Feel Obligated as a "friend" and roomie to help he, same as my stepsister. So u saying to grow a backbone is crazy. I immediately ended it and Moved on the moment I found out all this crazy shit. Ik it doesn't seem like it but at one point she was actually a good friend and he was a Good bf. keyword on WAS. I don't let things drag out u get 1 chance and it's a Wrap. So take it as you will 😊 Commenter 5: Great update. Get the locks changed, get her off the lease. Get a doorbell camera and a new credit card. Put her stuff in garbage bags and drop it at his studio apartment. They are both losers and they deserve each other. OOP: Already working on switching Banks. And yes I do have a ring camera that's how ik They were banging at my door while I wasn't home. I melted and documented that plus all the shit and insults they were yelling at door. And my Brother as a witness bc he was at my apartment when this Shit happened, and they tried kicking in my door till my brother opened the door.   Update #2: February 23, 2026 (four days later) Okay, I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update, so I’m just going to get straight to the point. Every since my last post I’ve been getting nonstop Insults thrown at me from my stepsister and Jackie They've also made multiple post About me And stepsister Said She was disowning me and that me and my brother "just didn't make the cut". Saturday, I invited my dad out to eat at a local place we used to go to when I was a kid. It was just supposed to be me and him, but my mom was there too. I didn’t tell him ahead of time that she would be there. I did, however, ask him not to bring my stepmom because I wanted us to really touch base and because I needed some life advice. At first, he tried to reschedule, but I pushed enough to get him to agree to come. This was a conversation that needed to happen, and it had to happen while my mom was in town. Well, when he showed up, he brought my stepmom anyway. As they were approaching the table, my stepmom was already making comments about how glad she came because I had “ambushed” him by having my mom there. I ignored her and told my dad I was glad he could make it and that we really needed to talk about my living situation with Jackie. Before I could even continue, he started onset how it’s not fair how I’ve been treating Jackie, that I’ve been mean to her, and a bunch of other off-the-wall comments that I’m assuming my stepmom and step sister fed him. So I told him everything from Valentine’s Day up until now. At first, he was quiet, like he was trying to take everything in. Meanwhile, my stepmom kept trying to jump in and tell her side of the story. Eventually, my dad said he needed to go to the bathroom. He was in there for about 30 minutes. During that time, my mom absolutely went in on my stepmom. She didn’t just bring up my situation , she brought up the divorce and how she let this woman ruin her marriage, but she wasn’t going to let her ruin my life too. My mom isn’t loud or dramatic, so I was surprised to see her this way even during the divorce I didn’t see her this angry. My stepmom, on the other hand, just doesn’t know when to shut up. She acts like because she has the marriage and the kids, she’s “won” someone sided battle or something. When my dad finally came out, his eyes were red like he’d been crying. I haven’t seen him like that since the divorce. He hugged me tightly and said he was sorry. That’s when my stepmom stood up and said, “Sorry for what? Your daughter has a lot of growing up to do.” And that’s when my mom told her to shut the fuck up. My dad then said he couldn’t believe all of this was happening under his nose and that he wished I had reached out sooner. But truthfully, even though I didn’t tell him the full story before, I had tried calling and texting him. I mentioned that in some of the comments. I didn’t really get anything back until I pressured him to meet and even then, he still brought my stepmom after I specifically asked him not to. Anyway, that was Saturday morning. I didn’t hear from my dad or stepmom after that. Saturday night, my mom came to my apartment. She’s always been good with finances, so we worked out my budget and started looking at apartments closer to my job. A lot of people asked why I don’t just move closer to my mom, but she lives in a pretty rural area with her partner. I still do online schooling, and my job is really beneficial, and I can’t afford to lose it rn. We got everything figured out. My mom boxed up the baby stuff I hadn’t sold the car seat, the breast pump, a few onesies, and a box of diapers and we dropped it off at Jaden’s apartment. I didn’t see him. I didn’t knock. My mom just left the box at the door, knocked, and walked away. Our landlord did the inspection, and everything came back good on my end. Jackie failed to provide pay stubs or paperwork and has completely ghosted the landlord I think she even blocked the number. They were in the process of evicting her. My mom’s partner was kind enough to offer to pay off the rest of my lease. Thank God. But then Monday morning happened. (this morning) It turns out my stepmom paid to have Jackie’s name removed from the lease before she could be evicted so she could “have a clean start” with her baby. He’s also planning to pay my first month’s rent and deposit for whichever apartment I choose.(or so he claims Doubt it'll happen) This wasn’t what I expected at all, but it’s what happened. On top of that, my dad THEN agreed to co-sign for a 2 bed apartment Jackie and Jaden can move in. My dad makes six times the rent, and Jaden only makes two times, so with my dad co-signing, it works out. I wasn’t thrilled about how all of this happened, but in my head all I heard was: I don’t have to pay for anything. So I signed the papers and went over everything with my landlord and my mom. My mom isn’t happy about it. She feels like this is just enabling them. I asked my dad why he’s being so nice to her and why he still calls Jaden his son. He kept referring to Jaden like he’s his responsibility and that he has to take care of him like tf? For WHAT reason? Jaden has parents. And his parents are well off. Fun fact: my mom actually reached out to Jaden’s parents over the weekend. Turns out they knew he was with Jackie, and apparently I’m “not wife material. and not "Dominican enough For their Family.... Jaden is Dominican My mother is black. My dad is Biracial white/black Stepmom/Stepsis/Jackie are Latina In a way, my dad seems numb to all of this. I haven’t really felt the support I need from him, but honestly, I kind of expected that. When it comes to Jackie and Jaden, they’re two peas in a pod and they deserve each other. Oh, and another fun fact: Jaden’s parents are gonna work on paying off Jackie’s car because his car is a piece of shit and they “need something reliable for the baby.” It’s wild how all this money suddenly appears when it benefits them. Where was all this help when I was the one struggling and helping her? When I was barely making it? It was my mom helping me. Advising me. Doing my budget. My dad was silent. And now suddenly everyone has money and support to throw around. No one’s checked on me or asked me how I feel like my boyfriend cheated on me my roommate ain't close friend got pregnant by him why am I the one being called crazy why is everyone just looking over the fact that he cheated she betrayed my trust this is fucking crazy. It’s all about Jackie and making sure she's not stressed out from her pregnancy. Crazy Mention, but I Hooked up with Tatis("Jackie") fine ass brother and It was a funny as hell Talking shit about you hoes after Cracking.🤣✌🏾 And no there were no souls tied But He was a muncher.🤣✌🏾 Shout out to Dearah and Tati since you wanna Stalk my Post😘 Edit just found out Her due date is Mid-April......so you can go ahead and do the math with that Relevant Comments Commenter: Why is your dad paying for Jackie and Jaden. Neither one are his children, and it seems he didn't really even know what going on. It seems to me the stepmother is making him do this just to spite you OOP: trust me he knows what’s going on, He’s a grown ass man if he’s gonna allow that bitch To control his life that on him.   Update #3: April 13, 2026 (over 1.5 months later) I’m gonna keep this brief because I’m honestly done with this situation and want nothing to do with this crazy, weird ass shit anymore. First off, thank y’all for all the advice. I even saw you guys covered it on the pod, and I really did take everything into consideration. I also had someone DM me saying Jackie made a post on here lying about the whole situation. The account was deleted by the time I saw it, so I have no way of knowing if it was actually her. These past couple of weeks have been the most peaceful my life has been in a while. I moved into my new apartment, and no one except my brother and my mom’s side knows where I live. And no, my dad didn’t give me a dime ,but my mom’s partner really showed up for me when I needed it most. Jaden and Jackie’s apartment didn’t get approved, even with my dad as a cosigner 🤣. They had to work things out with the current landlord, pay extra, and add themselves back onto the lease. So yeah… they’re now living in my old apartment. Also, when Jackie’s brother got his state refund, he gave me $1,000 for everything I dealt with because of his sister. We’ve gone on three dates since then, just taking things slow and enjoying the friendship. Now about the pregnancy Jackie had been lying about her dates this whole time. Over Easter weekend, she had an emergency C-section. The baby is healthy and so is she, and from what I’ve heard, she’s recovering well. Jaden broke up with her three hours after the baby was born. During the delivery, Jackie made Jaden wait in the hallway and had my stepsister in the room instead. Even after the baby was born, she still didn’t want Jaden in there. When his mom showed up and asked why he wasn’t in the room, it turned into an argument. Jackie finally let him come in, but he took one look at the baby and left the hospital. He ghosted her until it was time for her and the baby to go home. My stepsister ended up bringing her home, and Jaden has been MIA ever since. After all of this, my stepsister of all people called me apologizing and told me everything that happened. Jackie’s baby looks exactly like my dad. Edit: I am not in Contact with my dad/stepmom/Jackie for the past couple Weeks. Only reason my Stepsister was able to contact me is bc she was reaching out my bff About me Getting Contact with her asap and Thats When she told me what all went down. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Oh. That was an unexpected twist. But if the baby is your dad’s that explains a lot of things on why he was behaving how he was. Guilt can be a big driving force. But also, can I just say: the cheater got cheated and I think it’s delicious karma and oh so funny. 😂 How is your step mom taking all this? OOP: Literally no idea😂I’m no Contact with her😂 I only know What my Stepsister and Circle tell me. But I do no My dad tried reaching out to my Mom for "advice" my Mom Didn’t Know what advice or what He needed but she quickly reminded him of where there Stood and hung up that phone😂. Damn That probably was the confession🤣. Commenter 2: And also his family that was ok with him cheating because she was Latina. Bet they loved this plot twist. OOP: Which is hilarious because my Stepsister Sent me a Pic of their baby and When I tell you that baby Took ALL my dad features, its hilarious. OOP on the baby looking like her dad's OOP: Bingo√ When you look at my dad He visually has more Black features then, Including his complexion. My dad has light Hazel eyes And 3c hair. Both Jackie and Jaden Have Brown eyes and Naturally Straight and 1C hair. The baby eyes aren’t exactly Hazel but they DEF aint Brown the baby has pretty bright eyes and When comparing the photo to my little Brother they Looked almost identical besides the complexion. And Curly head of dark Brown hair and complexion is darker than Both Jackie and Jaden who are both considered a lighter complexion. Commenter 3: So wait…how long has your step-sister been in your fathers’ realm? If it’s around nine years he could have been grooming Jackie? Your poor brother too! OOP: My moms and dad divorced When I was in middle school. Jackie and my Stepsister were Always together same bus route, Classes, Sports, Neighborhood ALWAYS around. Commenter 4: So she picked a fight with Jaden because she knew that he wasn’t the baby daddy?! Lawd jeezus OOP: Jaden’s Mom was basically calling Jaden a bad dad for not being In there with her and Jaden didn’t Like that comment and They went back and forth, that’s When Jackie Allowed Jaden to Come meet the baby to Stop the argument. Commenter 5: Would love to hear your stepmom left your dad and he had to leave the house and move in with Jackie to take care of their new child. He will live in shame while Jackie's parents will be fully disgusted in more ways than one. It will not surprise me if they completely abandon her after this. What a mess your dad and Jackie has made. Jaden is a pos too but at least he was able to get out of child support and ghost the whole thing.. maybe this chaos will teach him that being a cheater is never worth the drama/shame/hurting others. OOP: Her parents Have ALWAYS been in and out of Jackies life due to addiction problems in the past. Doubt they’ll step up but only time will tell.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/commonbimbo My boyfriend is scaring me with his jokes Originally posted to r/advice TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse, obsessive behavior, sexual assault and mentions of rape Original Post March 17, 2026 So this relationship is new, we’ve been dating for about two months now. I am 20f and he is 24m. It moved a little too quick for my liking.. I invited him over to hook up, thats all it was supposed to be, but then we watched movies and took a night walk by the river and he said he wanted to make me dinner the next day so I was like ok sure. Well then he started coming over like almost every day, for sex, watching movies, making food, and playing games. And I’m not joking, he told me he loved me after a week of knowing each other. I was stunned. I just said it back bc I felt awkward and didn’t know what to do but I didn’t mean it, ik thats bad but.. Anyways he’s gotten a lot more comfortable with me, he adores my dog and that’s good, but here lately he’s been making a lot of comments that actually scare me. I don’t know if I am overreacting, I kind of want to break up and not see him again. First joke was about r*ping me and killing me. He said he would put roofies in my drink and have his way with me after I pass out. Then he said something about strangling me to make me pass out if I didn’t like the roofies, said something about if I die then he’d hide my body. Another joke he made, he grabbed my boobs and said now he’s sexually assaulting me. I told him to please no make jokes like that, but the very next day he‘ll make another.. He’s made a few other jokes that make me terrified but that’s some of the stuff he said. I ask him to not make those jokes because they’re scary, and each time he says he won’t, but then he does it again. I even told him I have trauma from being raped as a teenager and sexually abused as a kid. Idk it’s like he ignores me when he makes jokes like that and I’m just scared. I haven’t been having sex with him anymore bc of that. I am thinking about breaking up. Any advice for me? Edit: right now I am overwhelmed and scared after reading some of these comments, I didn’t expect this much. I am sorry, I know it’s infuriating to read this and think how can I be serious, I have just always been like this. Always doubting myself and feeling like I overreact, hard to trust myself or my intuition, my brain always downplays and minimize things.. he promised me they were just jokes so I believed him, I didn’t think it was that serious but deep down I knew it’s wrong, but I promise I get it now and understand the severity and I am going to break up with him. I will do it safely taking your advices and I will update and reply more later I need to clear my head for now and come up with a plan.. thank you RELEVANT COMMENTS Lionheart1224 Are you actually a serious, real person? Your supposed boyfriend is making jokes about raping and killing you and you're seeking advice? Are your survival instincts so dulled that you need someone to tell you to leave a collection of walking red flags? God, leave this creepy fuck and move on with your life. Please. This guy is a literal danger to your life. OOP my stomach dropped reading this.. I am serious, unfortunately I second guess myself and neve trust myself or what I think a lot. I’ll admit im a bit naive bc he promised they were just jokes. I’m gonna break up with him. ~ sillychihuahua26 I’m going to speak to you as a trauma therapist who works with domestic violence dynamics. This is not joking. This is early-stage coercion and threat testing. He moved very fast, said “I love you” within a week, and then started making “jokes” about drugging you, raping you, killing you, and hiding your body. When you told him to stop, he did not stop. When you disclosed your past sexual trauma, he escalated and kept going. That combination is extremely concerning. In this field, we look at patterns, not excuses. He is showing you several high-risk behaviors at once. Rapid attachment, pushing intimacy quickly, ignoring your boundaries, sexualizing violence, and continuing behavior after you clearly said it scares you. That is not someone misreading humor. That is someone testing how much he can get away with. Your body is responding appropriately. You said you feel terrified and have stopped having sex with him. That is your nervous system recognizing danger. This will escalate if you continue seeing him. You are thinking about breaking up. You should. And you should not do it in person. End it over text or phone. Keep it simple. Do not explain, debate, or give him an opening to argue. Something like “This isn’t working for me, I’m ending things. Please don’t contact me again.” Then block him. Do not meet up to “talk it out.” Also take basic safety steps. Make sure he does not have access to your home, change anything he might have access to, and let a trusted friend or family member know what is going on. The fact that he continued making rape and murder comments after you told him about your trauma is not a small detail. That is someone who is willing to override your fear for his own gratification. You are not overreacting. You are picking up on something very real. OOP Thank you for this, I am going to follow your advice. This has also opened my eyes a lot more too and I take it as a lesson to trust myself more octropos INFO: Does he have a key to your place? After you break up with him, can you stay at your parents or at a friend's for two weeks? OOP I did not even think about that… I did give him my spare key to get something of his out of my apartment while I was at work and I didn’t get it back yet. And yes I can go stay with my mom for a bit I am working up to talking to her about this.. I am scared to ask him for my key back now, how should I do this ? Or not ask and just change my locks? OOP also added this about their relationship Thank you this is good advice. A few things I didn’t mention in the post is that we got into a big fight once already because he thought I lied about where I was going but he heard me wrong, he made me share my location with him for him to always see where I am, it was scary he was yelling at me, I thought he was gonna hit me but he didn’t he just stormed out and left. that bit about sharing my location with my family members reminded me of that. I felt it was extreme to make me share my location and the yelling but yeah I am done with this relationship. I will take your advice Update March 18, 2026 (Next Day) Hi! So, I got a lot of great advice on my post and I followed it. I just wanna say thank u to everyone who gave me advice and really wanted to help me out. There were a lot of comments coming in and I’m sorry I didn’t reply to them all I was overwhelmed with the situation.. but here’s out the breakup went I told my mom everything and she was horrified at the things my boyfriend said to me, I told her I wanted to break up with him and that I was scared so she came over to help me out. She is friends with my landlord at my apartment complex he is very nice, so she told him everything. He changed my locks for me. My mom told him what I told him and he was FUMING, obviously hating my bfs guts now. I had to wait for my bf to get off work before I could call him, so I did that yesterday evening and I just told him it wasn’t working out. I was scared because were only had one explosive argument before over me going somewhere, it was a misunderstanding but basically it was so bad I was scared he was gonna hit me (but he didn’t) and so I was surprised because over the phone after I said I wanted to break up, he was actually very calm and civil about it. I set a bag of his stuf outside and told him to come get it and he said he was going to. I watched a few movies with my mom, she wanted to stay with me for a bit but then she went home and I went to bed. I was woken up a little after 5 this morning to my phone being blown up by him, had a lot of missed calls and texts and voicemails saying dumb stuff like I’ll never find someone who treats me as good as he did, that I’m a slut bla bla and I texted back and said to stop texting me, then he sent a message saying that he’s here in my parking lot and he wants to talk to me to fix this. I looked out the window and saw his truck was out there. I ignored him and turned my phone off went back to sleep. Woke up around 6:45 again to my dog barking bc he was knocking on my door, I didn’t answer it I just texted my landlord and asked to tell him to go away for me bc my landlord usually comes in around this time. Then my landlord comes in at like 7 and my ex was still here so he called the cops to have him trespassed. Cops didn’t arrest him but they told him they will if he comes back since my landlord doesn’t want him on the property ever again. I blocked him and thats it for now, but i am still gonna be careful and always keep my doors locked. It honestly wasn’t as crazy as I thought it would be bc that one argument we had awhile ago, he was scary angry and he does have anger issues. I just hope this is the last of it but for now the problem seems taken care of. Now I am going to focus on myself, no more inviting hookups to my house because I realize how stupid that was, it was my first time and ofc I got a guy like this. I am also going to get myself into therapy because like some of you said I need to learn to trust myself better and take care of myself for unresolved trauma.. but I just wanted to let u guys know I’m ok since some of you wanted an update and thank you so much for you help! I really appreciate it, here’s the old post https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/s/9QgcwsDyci I just made a new post bc it was a lot to type out RELEVANT COMMENTS Divemstr24 I would recommend to not walk to and from your car alone, at least for a few weeks. Whether at home or work. Same with putting out the trash. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I really hope he’ll go away. But I’m legitimately worried for your safety. OOP I really hope he goes away too :( my landlord is here a lot during the weekdays, he said he’s gonna watch out for me. And don’t worry I will watch out for myself too. If it does get bad, I can go stay with my mom and she’ll have my back. Thank u so much THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/falalathrowaway201 One of my [24F] best friends [25F] cheated on her boyfriend [26M] over the weekend. They're now engaged and he doesn't know. Editors Note: Changed the Initials M, K & D to Mason, Kiana and Dominic for easier reading Original Post - rareddit March 31, 2016 Throwaway for obvious reasons. I introduced one of my best friends, let's call her Kiana, to one of my good friends, Mason, three years ago. They instantly hit it off and were an item in no time. To me, it always seemed like they had a good relationship. They started getting serious, bought a condo together and just adopted a dog from the local shelter last month. On Saturday, Kiana and I went out dancing with some of my colleagues from work. We were all pretty tipsy and Kiana said she had to go to the bathroom so I went to the bar to get us some drinks. After about 10 minutes, my colleague asked, "Where's Kiana?" I scanned the bar to find her talking to this guy. Kiana is pretty flirtatious when she drinks, but as I was walking towards her, I saw her learn closer to this guy and start making out with him. I stood there in shock but after regaining my composure, I made it over to her and said we needed to talk. I asked what she was doing and she said, "It was nothing, just heat of the moment. Please don't tell Mason." I was pretty pissed and told her that was a shitty position she put me in. She said she had to go to the bathroom then asked if we could go home right after. I went over to say bye to my other friends, when I noticed her leaving the bathroom line and walking over to that same guy again. They were on the other side of the bar, so I started making my way over again when they left. I began calling her phone and she ignored me, and just as I got outside, she was getting into a cab with this guy. I was seething. I tried calling her again and left her a couple of texts and voicemails, asking her to call me as soon as she could so I know she was safe. That was my first priority, to make sure she wasn't going home with some creep, then I would talk to her about cheating on Mason. She finally got back to me at around 5 AM Sunday morning, texting me that she was safe and she needed to talk to me. I received that text when I woke up around 9 and told Kiana to come to my apartment. She was over in about half an hour, asked if she could borrow a change of clothes and she started crying. She said she slept with that guy last night and instantly regrets it. Kiana said that she missed having other men attracted to her, so she gave into the temptation. I told her that, even though it was hard, she needed to tell Mason. She said she would and thanked me for not judging her too harshly. I said what she did was wrong and it was unfair to make me choose sides, but Mason is also my friend and most importantly her boyfriend, so he deserves the truth. A few days pass without word from Kiana. Yesterday evening, she texts me saying, "Mason proposed. I said yes." I sat and started at the text for a few minutes. Then she calls me, squealing with excitement and gave me the details of the proposal. I then asked her if she told Mason about what happened last weekend; she said she didn't and couldn't now or it would ruin their engagement. She then said her mom was calling her so she hung up. I haven't heard from her since yesterday evening, but she is already posting her ring all over social media. I love Kiana to death. We have been friends for over 10 years, but I can't help but be angry at her for not only cheating on Mason (who is literally the kindest, sweetest man) but for hiding it from him and accepting a proposal. I get the sense that she is insecure, which is why she sought validation from some random dude at the bar instead of her boyfriend (now fiance). She put me in such an awkward position. A part of me says I need to stay out of it, not ruin my friendship with her as this is none of my business, but I can't get the image of her kissing that guy and leaving in a cab with him. Mason deserves the truth too. I've also been cheated on before so I know how it feels. I don't want to ruin anything, but the weight of this situation is killing me, considering I'm the only one who knows what happened. What do I do? TL;DR: Best friend cheated on her boyfriend over the weekend. He proposed yesterday and she said yes. She doesn't plan on telling him. What do I do? RELEVANT COMMENTS enrichmentonly What the fuck. She didn't tell him, despite promising she would. Then he proposed. And she accepted. And she had the gal to brag about this to you?! Here's the conversation I would suggest you have with her: "You need to tell Mason what happened. If you don't, I'm going to." Although personally, I would just go tell Mason directly. She had a chance to do this and she went completely in the other lying direction. If you give her opportunity, she'll probably lie repeatedly and do everything she can to throw you under the bus, because she's proven she's a person with no morals whatsoever. If it were me, I'd risk the friendship ending and tell Mason. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be friends with somebody who could do that anyhow. Remember: she may be putting Mason at risk of STDs at this point with her dishonesty. OOP I think that's what I need to do... not only from a moral standpoint but also because of potential health risks. I was so upset when I saw her that I didn't even ask if she bothered to use protection. You're right. He deserves to know and it would probably be wise if I didn't hint to her that I'm going to tell him. enrichmentonly You're doing the right thing. I'm very sorry that your friend's actions are forcing you to lose your friendship with her. But she made this choice and SHE put you in this position. So whatever happens from here on out is not your fault. It's hers. ~ [deleted] You literally warned her multiple times that you did not like being put in the middle and that you expect her to tell him. OOP I never told her that I would tell him if she didn't. Sure, she can assume that and she will definitely know it was me who spilled the beans when I tell him later, but I never explicitly said, "Hey Kania, if you don't tell Mason, I'm going to have to." Of course, she's probably thinking of an alibi or already has some story to plot against me if she thinks I'm going to tell him. But I never gave her a heads-up on what I was going to do in this situation. She thinks I'm staying out of it. ~ WhiteTiger311 Mason deserves the truth too. I've also been cheated on before so I know how it feels. You know what you need to do. You didn't and won't ruin anything... that cat was out of the bag not due to your actions, but due to Kiana s actions. She has made her bed and must now lay in it. The best you can do is tell Mason, but whether or not he believes you is up to him. It's essentially her word versus yours. Do you even really want to be friends with someone who would do this to their fiancee? OOP I do know that I need to do it. I need to figure out the best way to break it to him. I do have some text messages that I sent to her that night after she left and the one she sent to me at 5 AM. I hope that will suffice. You're right. As I was typing out my post, I realized... if she could do that to the man she loves, the one she "wants" to spend forever with, what could/has she done to me? Not only that, but she deliberately went home with that guy after I saw them kiss and called her out on it. It wasn't a "drunken mistake." OOP made a small update in the comments Mini-Update: Thanks for all of the advice! I posted this during my lunch break and the office has been busy this afternoon, so I haven't had a chance to respond to a lot of comments. I knew right after I posted that I needed to tell Mason, regardless of my relationship with Kiana. Kiana texted me while I was on my lunch, asking me what the weight limit is for a carry-on because she thinks she needs to empty some stuff. I completely forget that she was flying out for a conference this evening. I gave her a short response then called Mason who picked up. I told him I needed to talk to him tonight and he said he would meet me after work (he works a block away from me). I'm meeting him in about half an hour and I'm planning on telling him anyways. It's shitty timing considering Kiana won't be home until Saturday afternoon, but the clock is ticking and I need to be honest right away. I will update in a few days. Update 1 - rareddit Apr 5, 2016 (5 days later) Last post is here! (It's locked but I think you will still be able to view it?) A quick thank you to everyone who responded! I wasn't able to respond to anymore comments on my last post/update right away due to my post being locked... but here's the update now. As soon as I sent my last post, I knew that I had to tell Mason about what was going on. It wasn't to clear my conscious; it was because I knew if I was in his position, I would want somebody to tell me too. Mason is still one of my good friends too and he didn't deserve that treatment, regardless of my relationship with Kiana. Kiana texted me while I was on my lunch and asked me what the weight limit was for a carry-on and that's when I remembered she was going away to some conference and wouldn't be back until Saturday. I responded with the weight limit. I called Mason and he picked up and asked him if we could see each other that night. He said we could meet at a pub in between both of our offices after work that day. When I got off work and walked over to the pub, my stomach was in knots and my heart wouldn't stop beating because I was so nervous to break the news. I walked in and Mason was already waiting for me. He gave me a big hug and he looked so happy, which made me feel even worse. Mason asked about my day, I asked about his, etc. He then asked if Kiana mentioned anything about the ring, if she liked it, if she was happy, etc. He must have saw the look on my face because he asked me what was wrong. I started by saying that, what I'm about to tell him will change either his relationship with Kiana, his friendship with me, Kiana's friendship with me, or all of the above. Mason looked confused so I went on and told him about what happened Saturday. I didn't call Kiana any names, I didn't focus too much on her side of my side of the story, I just gave out an attempted objective narrative of what happened, right up until when she called me about the engagement and I asked if she was going to tell him and she said no. Mason went pale for a moment and I asked him if he needed a minute. Mason told me that Kiana said she got really drunk and slept at my place Saturday night, which is why she didn't come home to him. He asked to see the texts I sent her, so I showed him the text thread and all the placed calls I made to see if she was okay. I told him that if I were in his position, I would want to know and because I care for him, I didn't want him to find out later on. He looked at me with almost no expression on his face and said, "Well, I guess I should get tested, huh?" I felt so bad for him and asked him if he needed anything. He told me he believed me and will talk to Kiana when she gets home. Mason said our friendship won't change and he's grateful that I told him before he ended up marrying her, but feels like shit that she accepted his proposal, is flaunting the engagement to the world yet fucked someone 4 days prior. He said he wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first time something like this happened. I told him I had no idea if anything else has gone on but if he needed anything else to let me know. He said he'll talk to Kiana when she gets back on Saturday. This is when he started to get a little teary-eyed and said he had to go. He gave me a hug goodbye. I didn't hear from either of them until Saturday night around 11PM, when I got a call from Kiana asking if she could come to my place. She showed up 15 minutes later and was a crying mess. She said that Mason broke off the engagement because he logged onto her Facebook and found messages that she sent to some guys over the past year. Mason told her how I told him about last Saturday night and she said she was too afraid to tell him because it was a mistake. Kiana then asked why I told him and I said it, if it happened to her, I would do the same thing, and if it were me in Mason's position, I would want to know too. Her face started turning red and then she dropped a bomb on me. In my last post, I said that I knew how Mason felt because I was cheated on before. My last boyfriend, Dominic and I were together for 3 years before he came to my place one drunken night out with hickeys on his neck. I knew they weren't from me and immediately broke it off with him. He said he doesn't remember who they were from, which I knew was bullshit. Kiana said that she was the one that Dominic cheated on me with. Which means that, not only did Dominic cheat on me with my best friend, but she cheated on Mason with him too. I couldn't even look at her. I asked her to leave and not to contact me again. I've been questioning our "friendship" ever since. I got some texts and missed calls from her, asking me to hear her out, calling me a bitch, then going back to kissing my ass. I blocked her number and her profiles on all social media accounts. Mutual friends of ours have asked what happened and say they're not surprised by her behavior. I heard from Mason on Monday night. He texted me saying "it's over" and I asked if he was okay. Mason told me he will be eventually and asked me to meet him for a coffee tonight when I'm done work (apparently he took a few days off for personal reasons). So that's about it, Reddit. Turns out I was blind to her character this whole time. I'm incredibly hurt that my so-called "best friend" has never really been a best friend to me at all. I can't be left wondering what else has happened but to move on and spend time with my friends who care about me and have proven so. I might provide a mini-update on here if anything else happens after I talk to Mason tonight. I'm just still in shock by this whole ordeal. It makes me wonder if any of this would have come to light, had I not said anything to Mason. Thanks for all your advice, internet strangers. I really appreciate it. TL.DR - Told Mason about Kiana cheating on him and he broke up with her. She showed up to my place crying, then pissed, then told me she was the one my ex cheated on me with. We are no longer friends and she's a crappy person. The end! RELEVANT COMMENTS Curvyandcrying I'm so sorry that both you and Mason went through this mess. You are both far better off without Kiana. She sounds like a shitty partner and a terrible friend. I wish you both the best of luck! ozogati Woooooow what a horrible person. BTW the reason she chose to tell you about her and your ex now is because she wanted to hurt you. She's a horrible person and I'm so glad you told her BF. Because you did, he read her messages and found out how bad she truly was, and now you both know that she's been hurting him for a long time. [deleted] BTW the reason she chose to tell you about her and your ex now is because she wanted to hurt you. She's been saving this. She's held this in her asshole arsenal waiting for a signal to go fucking nuclear. She hung out with OP, probably helped her through her shitty break up, all the while knowing. I cant even begin to go off on how shitty and cold a person like this. Fuck this person. And will OOP possibly date Mason? Lol no way. I care for Mason a lot but this isn't a Jennifer Aniston-esque romantic comedy. Update 2 March 6, 2016 (Next Day) Mini-Update (sorry if spelling is off, I'm tired and on mobile): I met Mason at a café after worked. He didn't look very good, kind of disheveled and his eyes were all puffy. I gave him a huge hug and he said "well, that's not how I expected that weekend to go." He said he cut Kiana off from everything: kicked her out of his house, got the ring back, changing all of his passwords and banking information. She tried contacting him too but like me, he blocked her off of everything. He asked if I saw her and I told him what happened on Saturday night and I told him what happened. He felt really bad for me that Dominic cheated on me with Kiana, and I reminded him that 1. She also cheated on him when Dominic and 2. While I appreciate his sympathy, he's the one who needs support right now. Then Mason brought up the fact that I also lost my best friend too. We talked about moving forward and he said he will take some of the engagement ring money after he sells it to go on a nice vacation. We just talked about random things and he thanked me for all of my support. Before we left, he gave me a big hug and said that telling him was a brave thing to do and he appreciates that act of loyalty and it means a lot to him. I said I will be there for him whenever he needs anything. To many of you who are asking... I will not become FWB with Mason or even date him, not now at least. Yes I care for him, yes the attraction is there and we get along great, but I knew how devastated I was after Dominic cheated on me. You lose all trust and dating again can be scary. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that not everyone out there is a liar or a cheater and I had to do a lot of self reflecting and become confident in myself. I want Mason to have the same opportunity. Jumping into something with him would not be wise, especially because he'll be feeling a lot of different emotions over the next little while. Maybe it could happen one day, maybe not, but I'm just going to do what I can go be the friend he needs right now. Thanks for your support guys. Y'all are truly a bunch of gems! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is moonrabbit368. She posted in r/mildlyinfuriating Thanks to u/L_RaspberryCrochet for the rec! Do NOT Comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. This has not been posted to this sub before Mood Spoiler: happy ending Original Post: January 1, 2026 My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad. Image 1: Tonight's dinner (broccoli, baked potato and porkchops) Image 2: Chicken, broccoli, mashed potatoes and gravy Image 3: A roast of some sort with meat and veggies Image 4: A plated soft-shell taco Image 5: Broccoli, potatoes, carrots and beef Image 6: Pie Editor's note: All of these look delicious and if I weren't celiac I would totally eat every bit of each dish. ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗 A few notes: 1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better. 2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week. 3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out. Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷 Some of OOP's Comments: Creighton2023: Stop cooking for him. He can cook/order what he wants. You’re just wasting food otherwise. But what’s with the paper plates? You can get really cheap plates at goodwill or even new ones at target. OOP: It's very bad of me. I work full time, he and I commute together to the big city and it's an hour each way. I'm also going to school remotely too. Between that and the kids and the housekeeping... but those are excuses and I know. I'm just trying to stay afloat most days. The first picture: The first pic is boneless porkchops, it's the first time I have made him porkchops and we had a conversation when I was meal planning where he said he would be open to pork chops. I did a rub with seasoning salt and then dredged them in seasoned flour, pan fried them with oil and butter. The children enjoyed them very much. He wouldn't try them though. TrickInvite6296: does he expect you to make meals for him? OOP: (downvoted) Definitely yes. And I really don't mind at all, I just get frustrated because his food preferences are very narrow and so often I end up cooking a separate meal just for him because I don't think it's good for the kids to eat the same 4 things all the time. sophietheadventurer: Is this the same boyfriend who has wildly different political views to you? Maybe time to drop him to the curb Editor's note: That referenced post is here. I didn't include the text because it wasn't quite relevant to this post, but you can read it at the link OOP: Yes we had a lot of very heated conversations about it. I told him it was a deal breaker for me if he wasn't willing to talk about it with me and that it might be a deal breaker even if he did. He grew up in small town Texas, he was handed a lot of his beliefs and I pushed him to question them. We have come a long way in those conversations and he has genuinely changed his mind about some things. We talk about politics often now, it's not taboo anymore To another commenter: He had a lot of bad information. He was very defensive about the whole thing at first. I told him that I couldn't be with someone that isn't kind, compassionate and just. He was hurt that I thought that about him. I pointed out specific things that this administration has done, we looked at evidence together, did some deep dives on immigration etc. If everyone you know is a Trump supporter, if your whole family is Fox news viewers, then there are lots of "facts" you take for granted. RepostFrom4chan: Any kind of Asian food? Having traveled to 7 counties in Asia i have no idea what that means. They eat everything? OOP: Fair about the asian food. He won't eat sushi, won't eat dumplings, won't eat stirfry, won't eat fried rice or rice noodles, won't eat tofu or ... ok it'd probably be faster to list what he does eat: ground beef, potatoes, chicken without bones, rice to a degree, cheese, chili, pickles, sausage, green beans (only italian cut and only out of a can,) canned stew, fast food hamburgers with no vegetables on them, fast food tacos with only meat and cheese on them, vanilla ice cream, beef jerky... ArcticPoisoned: (one of the top comments) I’ll be your boyfriend!!!! (I am a 29 year old woman) OOP: This is my favorite comment thread, thank you 😊 thomasinanna: I say this with love OP but this relationship sounds exhausting. You're working very hard with your job, giving your children delicious meals, making informed decisions on what news you consume in this crazy world. You sound like a lovely human being! And I'll ask something that was once asked to me: Does this man make your life BETTER? Note I'm not asking if you love him, but does he improve your well-being, happiness etc etc like you do for him? What is he bringing to your life? OOP: (downvoted) I had to read this a few times and sit with it. He listens to me, he reminds me to take my medicine, he drives and I am such a nervous driver, he cares when I cry, he makes me laugh. If I am truthful it hasn't been good for my health. I do too much and neglect my health. But don't women do that? Don't we burn brightly for the people we love and it always has a cost, doesn't it? Isn't it always like that? To a longer comment: Hi, that was all very hard to read. I am a real person and this is really my life. I didn't mean for things to get this deep on this post but they have and I can't unring a bell now. Finding a therapist sounds like a do-able step. I just wanted a normal, stable, safe, predictable life. I don't think I've ever had that and it's looking like this is not it either maybe. I try really really hard to be a good mom and a good person. I'll talk to a therapist. Thank you Mini Update Comment: January 3, 2026 (2 days later) I think things are changing. Just me posting the post was a sign to myself that I am not happy with the status quo. I'm generally a pretty patient person. But like last night I made him chili dogs and fries because that is something he will consistently eat and I was cooking something for the kids that I knew he wouldn't eat. When I took it to him he said "You're not going to believe this but I had chili dogs for lunch." And I blurted out "I don't care." We were both shocked I think and I went back to the kitchen. Mini Update Comment: January 4, 2026 (Next Day, 3 days from OG post) This was tough love and I thank you for it. This post was just me venting from my kitchen into the void but turned into something very different. Apparently there are a lot of things that I thought or think are normal that are maybe not normal at all. I made a decision to start therapy, it's fully covered through my job and I think it's going to be helpful to have a sane adult that I can talk to about all of it. I know it might not be the big step people would like me to take but I just don't trust myself fully right now to be making big decisions. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that I did read your comment and that it did help me. Mini Update Post: January 6, 2026 (2 days later, 5 from OG post) Thank you, this was very thoughtfully written. I am still trying to sort out what to do, I want to make the right decision with a cool head. I think it's leaning very much in that direction. Tonight I set his plate in front of him and he looked at it for a minute, got up and took it back to the kitchen. He came back with some chips. I said "not good?" He said "no." And I didn't offer to make him anything else, didn't ask him what was wrong with it, I just said "Oh okay." And shrugged and went back to my dinner. That shook him up I think because he is not used to me being nonchalant about it. So I feel like something has changed, my mindset is changing. I'm grateful for the encouragement and all the good advice, I am continuing to read the comments and replying when I get breaks. It might be pathetic but I don't really have any grownup friends to talk to about this stuff so this has been helpful Update Post: January 31, 2026 (1 month from OG post, 25 days from last comment update) Title: He's not going to eat these porkchops. 😐 About a month ago I made a post here because my boyfriend didn't want to eat the porkchops I cooked for dinner. Well tonight I made porkchops again and he's not going to eat these either because we broke up and he moved out. I'm so much better off and I just wanted to thank you all for the kind words and advice, it was very eye opening to me. I wish that I could invite you all to dinner 🥰 Image: more yummy food ETA : Couple of notes: 1- The yellow stuff is smashed potatoes with cheese on top. 2- I swear that butter on the broccoli melted right after that picture LOL ETA part two: Some people have asked for recipes. I'm not a fancy cook and it isn't anything very special or original but here goes: For the porkchops, I take them out of the fridge 30 mins before I cook them so that they are room temperature. I salt them when I take them out too. Then I mix some flour with seasonings. This time I used salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and chili powder. I dredged the porkchops in the seasoned flour before frying them in a little oil over medium high heat. I do two or three minutes a side to get nice color then I drop the heat to low, put a lid on it and cook until my meat thermometer says they are 145 F inside. I remove them from the heat and let them rest three to five minutes, covered. For the smashed potatoes I boil the potatoes in salted water until they are fully cooked. Then I oil a sheet pan, smash the potatoes with a potato masher. You're not trying to make puree, it's not mashed potatoes, you are just smashing them once or twice each. Then I drizzle them with olive oil, add whatever seasonings I want and bake them in a very hot oven (425 or 450) until they are crispy (ten or fifteen minutes, watch them!) The kids wanted cheese on them so I put the cheese on two or three minutes before I took them out of the oven. Some of OOP's Comments: Fun_Button5835: (top comment) Were you the one where he would order Jack in the Box and eat it lukewarm instead of eating your home cooking? (Editor's note: Jack in the Box is a fast food restaurant mostly on the west coast.) OOP: Yes 😭 he would doordash jack in the box. VatoCornichone: Ngl you had me in the first half. OOP: Haha imagine I was coming back to post that I was still feeding that man?? I would've gotten run out of town! EPIC_NERD_HYPE: does your bf know that all of reddit detests him? your last post got 100k upvotes. OOP: I have heard through mutual friends that he has seen the original post about it 👀 OOP adds: It wasn't just the porkchops. He was critical about everything. And I spent a lot of my time and energy trying to make an unhappy man happy. He almost never had anything good to say about anything I did. He criticized Christmas presents I gave him, he dictated how I dressed and how I spent my time. He'd play video games all weekend while I cleaned the house, if I wanted to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon he would ask why I was being lazy. Nothing was ever good enough. There was a lot going on. I had just let it get worse and worse. I don't really talk to anyone in my offline life about my relationships so the reddit post was really the first time that I told anyone anything about what was happening. It was eye opening for me and I'm grateful. OOP clarifies: I broke up with him. It wasn't right after my last post, but after my last post I made an appointment with a therapist. During my second appointment I just blurted out that I was really unhappy and told the lady everyyyyything. Cried a bunch. Slept on it. Broke up with him the next day. He moved in with his brother that weekend. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/spe8 I'm (28/m) starting to fall for my (24/f) 'wife' and am unsure how to proceed. Thanks to u/BigONerd for finding this update BoRU 1 TRIGGER WARNING: Death of a spouse/mother in childbirth, mentions of past physical abuse, harassment, fears of stalking Original Post - recovered with rareddit May 29, 2013 This is all a very complicated and sad situation. About four years ago my wife and partner of 8 years passed away due to complications after the birth (very rare) of our second son. I was deployed at the time, and completely devastated. After flying home I felt that nothing would make me happy again. My sons are great (now 6 and 4), but overwhelming, so I asked a sister of one of my Marine buddies,Cass, to help out. She had been friends with my wife, but not great friends, and she agreed in exchange for a place to stay. At the time, Cass was only 20 years old and in quite a bit of debt in fault of her extremely abusive ex-boyfriend, who she had finally left about 3 months earlier. During the first few weeks of her helping out with the boys, she asked to borrow money to see a doctor due to shaking hands (no insurance). I happily obliged, she was an angel: doing all of the cooking and cleaning and keeping my young family together. It turned out that she had developed some sort of neurological disorder, probably brought on by repeated abuse. At the time it seemed simple: I had good insurance, she needed healthcare, I never thought I'd be able to move on from my wife, and she was afraid of intimacy. I agreed that I would marry her, but keep our platonic relationship. She promised not to burden me with her debt, and we had a prenuptial agreement and all. I know that this is 'fraud' of the government, hence the throwaway, but we were both so damaged and needed somebody, if not intimately. The past three years have been about as good as expected, if not better. Cass is great, better than great. She keeps the house spotless, had food ready every night when I get home, and has been working overnights as a baker and almost has her debt paid off. Her condition has improved greatly, also, due to the great medical care she was able to receive. With the boys, she is a saint. She tells them about their mother, shows them pictures, takes the places for fun, and even taught them how to read (of course the six year old just finished kindergarten, but my 4 year old is going to be the smartest kid in his class next year!). Sometimes the four year old calls her 'mommy' but she shhs him and reminds him that name is 'Cass' and that mommy is the angel whose picture is above the fireplace. Once her debt is fully paid off, the kids are in school, and she saves up a bit of money, she is going to go into a nursing program. Our relationship: still platonic, but very caring. I've cried on her shoulders more times than I can count, and she's done the same. One night I was very stressed out, and yelled at her about something pretty inconsequential (she had taken my sons to see Santa without me). She, of course, became quite frightened, but we worked it out and I even offered to pay for her to see a counselor (she didn't). That was two years ago, and we have had little fights ever since, but have been able to work through them. She seems to understand me whenever I'm hurt, upset, or angry, and is calming in a way that I can't explain... The problem, reddit, is that I think I might be falling for her. I've been noticing little things: her scent, her smile, her laugh. The way she smiles with her eyes when she sees me, how much my boys love her. Not to mention that she's gorgeous, hardworking, and one of the strongest people i've ever encountered. A few nights ago I almost kissed her after we had put the boys to bed, and her hugs goodbye have started lasting a little bit longer. The other day she was taking a nap in my bed (she was washing her sheets), and I wanted to join her. Not have sex with her, just lay with her and hold and kiss her I don't know what to do, or how to even bring this up. It's been four years since my wife died. I can only think of a quote from a Song of Fire and Ice books, in which a character says that 'When the sun has set, no candle can replace it.' meaning that since his true love has died, nobody could replace him. that's how I used to feel, but... there have been days where my thoughts have been occupied with Cass, and I haven't even thought about my wife. I feel bad about it, and I still miss her, but I never thought that I'd be able to 'move on.' I feel guilty and disloyal. At the same time, I want her. Not just sexually or physically, I want to be romantically intimate with her, not just as friends. I don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to scare her or make her uncomfortable. but this is becoming more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I was thinking about asking her to get dinner, just the two of us, and bringing it up. But whatif she refuses? How can I gauge her interest? If it means anything, the other day she was having a hard time with the boys (they were restless and being our of hand), so I brought her home some of her favorite flowers. She was extremely giddy and gave me another lasting hug and a quick kiss on the lips. I was taken aback, but she pranced around, finishing dinner and putting the flowers in a vase. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? TL;DR: After my wife died, I married a good friend's sister for healthcare benefits, and now I feel as if I'm falling for her-- hard. What should I do? EDIT: Fuck it. It's been an hour on here and you've convinced me to tell her. I've called her favorite fancy restaurant and made a reservation. Her brother agreed to babysit, and let her/ me stay at his place tonight if she isn't into it/ feels uncomfortable. She paid off her debt this morning (apparently, just just texted me a picture of the check), and next week is our three year anniversary, so that is the prelude. i'm going to tell her at dessert. I'm nervous as shit. don't worry I'll update y'all (because so many have demanded it so!) Update 1 - I told my "wife" I loved her - rareddit May 30, 2013 EVERYTHING WENT AMAZING. JUST GOT HOME. LOVE REDDIT. :) will update tom. time to go make out with my wife :) TL;DR: SHE SAID SHE LIKED ME TOO UPDATE 2: I just spend the night snuggling and kissing my wife. Warning: This is kind of adorable and even I still don't believe it. rareddit May 30, 2013 Last night was hectic as shit at first. Our younger son had eaten, what he calls, a "a giant fuzzy spider" and Cass wanted tot take him to the hospital, even though he was fine. Her brother (we'll call him Joe), told her that he'd take care of it, and basically forced her out of the house to 'celebrate getting out of debt.' She really didn't seem like she wanted to go. At all. I became fucking nervous. So we got to the restaurant pretty early, but luckily they had a table. She ordered wine, which was odd, because she hasn't drank much since she broke up with her ex, but I figured it was a time to celebrate. We made small talk for a while, but it seemed forced, and I knew that I had to tell her soon. So, before the entrees even came I said that I had something to talk to her about. She didn't smile and told me that 'she knew, Joe told her.' and my goddamn heart almost stopped. That fucker. i hurridly told her that I was so sorry, I didn't want her to find out that way, I wanted to tell her myself. She shook her said, frowned, and said that it was okay, she just wanted me to be happy and that I deserved it. I told her that I didn't want to stress her out or make her uncomfortable, but I just needed to tell her, and see how she felt, and that it was completely up to her. She gave me a look and said that it actually was up to me, and just to do what made me happy. She said that she was probably going to move out after her program ended, and promised to stay out of the way until then. It was then that I realized something was a bit off, and asked wtf Joe had told her. She said that he told her I wanted to take her out to dinner to tell her that I had started developing feelings for a girl, and wanted to ask Cass if it would be okay if I asked this girl out. It was then I realized that Joe had set me up for the most climactic pick up line ever to exist. Our entrees came (I had shrimp and pesto gnocchi, and she had crab legs for you detail lovers), and I explained that, yes I had started developing feelings for a girl, I just didn't want it to mess up what we had. She said that it wouldn't mess anything up, she still loved the boys and would take care of them and the house. I continued to then explain that I wasn't going to ask the girl on a date, though, and she asked, incredulously, why not. Then I dropped my smoothest line I've ever dropped. "Because I'm already on a date with her." Right? Thanks Joe, because he must know about your planned movie and really wanted that line. She gave me this look that she gives my sons when they tell her things like 'I'm going to the mall by myself' or 'I have a girlfriend named Tammy.' Then she looked away, smiled and shook her head and asked 'really?' I nodded and told her that I cared about her more than anybody else alive (other than my sons), that I loved our family, and that I had fallen in love with her. She then took a drink of wine, rolled her eyes, and said 'about fucking time, Alex.' And I'll never forget what happened next. Maybe it was a faux pas, but I leaned across the table and kissed her... spilling her wine. But neither of us cared and we kissed for about a minute, before she told me to get off her before her crab legs got cold (this was joking, but not. you'd have to know her). After leaving the restaurant we got ice cream and sat around and kissed some more, before heading home. Joe was sitting on our couch watching one of those VH1 dating shows with a shit eating grin on his face, and Cass ran in, screaming at him that he ruined everything and that she was going to have to move in with mom now. We let him believe it for about 5 seconds before bursting into laughter. He shook my hand and told me that the boys were sleeping and left. I picked Cass up and kissed her and carried her to my room where we... welll.... Made out for like two hours and snuggled the shit out of each other. (She isn't ready for anything else, but emphasized yet. I'll give her all the time in the world). At one point the youngest son came in because of a nightmare, and brought his dog (a golden retriever puppy) and claimed that 'the doggy was scared' so we, of course, let him in. I woke up early to make everyone breakfast (and of course, deliver), and am about to go and kiss my wife goodbye, and ask my boss for the second part of the day off so that I can spend more time with her while the boys are at school, preschool. (I'm really sorry I haven't replied to everything... I was a little busy, but that you all for the support) TL;DR: Her brother is a little fucker, all went well in the end, we cuddled the shit out of each other all night. Update 3 - VERY quick Update: My wife and I are doing fine... - rareddit May 31, 2013 but I'm still unsure how to provide proof. I've lost the receipt for the restaurant and didn't pay with a card, and won't post pictures for obvious reasons (such as years of defrauding the government). But I will deliver and find a way. I promise, as a man of my word. Haven't I always delivered so far? And to those of you who are talking about a 'second wedding ceremony:' we just kissed for the first time two nights ago. Overly attached reddit? :) Finally, thank you to whoever gave me gold, I spent about $25 last night buying Joe beers. But next time, please use that money for real good. Take a vet to lunch, learn CPR, I don't know. But again, many thanks to you. I promise I'll update again in the future, but don't be angry if it isn't very often. I've been a little... busier than normal. Cheers. TL;DR: Everything is going great, will update sometimes, trying to figure out proof, thanks for the gold. Update4 -[m/28] Everything with my wife [f/24] that I married for insurance reason, then fell in love with, was going well... until last night. - rareddit June 25, 2013 TL;DR of the my life: my wife died four years ago when I was deployed, and I (alex, 28, male) ended up marrying the girl (Cass, 24, female) who was taking care of my children and keeping up with my house while I was grieving. I did this because she was having medical issues stemming from past domestic abuse and had no insurance. Apparently I can't post this as an update because of some rule... it's fine. I'd advise anybody to look through my past submissions (I don't think i can post them on here) if you are interested in what happened about a month ago. But apparently this is a different issue. Things were going very well except I started developing feelings for her. I was afraid of scaring her, or making her feel unsafe, but reddit convinced me to take the plunge. Now I'm happily dating my wife. Hey everybody! i hope your workday is going well. My day has been crazy. Everything has been going wonderfully lately, though. It was somewhat strange at first explaining it to our friends and family, but most of them had already caught on... including my sons, who act as if nothing has changed. I'm pretty sure the little fuckers knew the entire time. Anyways, last night I came home and Cass was out of it. dinner was burnt (which is no big deal, I can't really cook well or anything, but it's out of character), and she was drinking (lightly, only one or two glasses of wine). i asked her what was wrong, obviously I was concerned, and she told me that her ex-boyfriend (Shithead, 30, male) got parole last week. I was flabbergasted, since she should have been able to tesify at his parole hearing I believe. Apparently the crime that he was incarcerated for was unrelated to the abuse (which I had always assumed was the reason), but Cass had been (1) assured it would put him away for a decade at least and (2) had been far too afraid to testify against him or press charges. apparently he'd been arrested for this felony, and when he was being held, he asked her to post bail, but instead she asked my first wife for help moving out and moving on. I don't know what to do, I don't think that we have any legal ways to put him back into prison. She knows that she should have gone to the police and is guilt ridden and upset about it now. I know that she's going to be safe, because if he tries to even contact her, I'll take a legal recourse of action to make sure that he doesn't so much as touch her. I've taken off work today, but promised that even when I go back, I'll have my buddies stopping by throughout the day. But I don't know how to make her feel safe. I've contacted my lawyer about filing a restraining order, and he said it shouldn't be too hard, but she's a mess. I just don't know how to make her believe that she's I doubt this piece of shit will come around, but I know what I'm going to do if he tries. TL;DR: her ex got out of prison, we weren't notified, she's scared out of her mind. Update 5 - I (M/29) had fallen in love with my 'wife' (F/25) - rareddit Sept 3, 2014 Hey Reddit! I first of all would like to apologize for not keeping you guys updated--I've honestly just been pretty occupied with life lately and last night I had trouble sleeping. I was just browsing the internet when an article came up about reddit and I thought, I wonder how those nice people are doing. Then I signed in an realized that a lot of you really care about how my life is going with Cass. The answer is pretty well now. Things got tough for a while when her ex was released from prison last year, though. She was so afraid that he'd contact her...until he did. I remember that night like it was five minutes ago. Somebody rang our doorbell and the oldest son answered. He asked for Cass. She told the boys to go upstairs and gave me a look and I knew. But she didn't look scared. The bastard apologized and begged for forgiveness and asked for a second chance. She was so brave. I wanted to kill him but she told him no and asked him to leave. He did, and he tried to contact her a few more times before we got an order of protection against him. Last I heard he moved upstate to live with his dad, or something. Around this time her brother Joe also got into a really bad car accident and ended up having to move in with us for a while. He's a great guy and one of my best friends, so we didn't mind, but it was a stressful time. About seven (or eight?) months ago we finally, ahem. Consummated our marriage I guess you can say. The boys are doing great and are really happy. Cass got a pretty good job (although I think she's working too much overtime!) and loves it. We're expecting our first child in February and couldn't be more excited. You could say that life is pretty good. I'll be around for another few hours if you guys have any questions. TL;DR: Things were bad. Now they're pretty damn awesome. Final update - I (M/29) fell in love with my wife (f/25) It's a girl! - rareddit Apr 29, 2015 Technically she was born early March, but I didn't want to make the title "It WAS a girl." Sorry for not updating; it was a pretty rough pregnancy (and Cass has put her foot down about wanting more--I guess three is enough), but everything turned out great! Little Therese was 21" and 9 pounds at birth, and as bald as I am! She's way easier than the boys were, she hardly ever cries and is the most photogenic baby ever!! Our youngest son is completely smitten, and always tries to "help"--it's less cute than you think. Joe is also doing okay. His back is still bothering him but he's dating a girl who actually went to my high school (two years younger than me, though). He's pretty happy with her, and we're all very happy for him. Other than new fatherhood, not much to update! I'm home watching the baby today while Cass it out, so I should be around for a while! tl;dr: It's a girl! NEW UPDATE Update 7 Jan 27, 2025 (10 years later) I'm not sure what I need to link, but this was my last post way back when. hey guys. it's definitely been a minute.I ended up making another account a few years ago to follow things I am interested in. Don't get me wrong, everyone was nice enough but I kind of just wanted to start over with an account where nobody could easily find my life story ha. But I saw it go around every few years and always thought about updating, but there was either nothing huge to update anyone on or I just wanted to get away from it I guess. Like, there were times that it felt that my life was being overshadowed by this great love story that everyone thought was every moment of my life. Then they made a movie and no, I was not involved, I did not see it, and am not going to. I guess the happy updates are that we did end up having another baby. Unplanned but we love him so much. I had kind of put off getting a vasectomy but took care of that right away after that. Cass finished school and has a great job that she's moved up in quite a lot actually. I got out of the military and have been working a civilian job. The dog passed three years ago but they got another puppy a few months ago. Older boys are doing great in high school and in sports, they both made varsity their freshmen year and are so kind. Our younger two are also great, happy and healthy. I got a new job around COVID and love it. Her condition continued to improve and is not completely managed with therapy and medication. Bad updates I can start with the worst one which is that Cass' brother and my friend passed 4 years ago. He got into some trouble about a decade ago and never really got himself back together. We were both devastated. It felt like everything went gray in our lives and we were struggling to stay above water emotionally if that makes sense. I threw myself into work and a hobby of mine in my free time and she was severely depressed and actually quit her hobby to focus on working and the kids. We were basically just roommates raising kids together after a while. I don't know. Hindsight is 20/20 and I think we just didn't think about the other much because we were too focused on ourselves. I asked for a separation about 7 months ago and moved out. She was devastated and didn't agree with it at first, but eventually accepted it. I didn't cheat on her, but I definitely saw how other marriages with our friends were and how she barely asked me about my day or hobbies or anything anymore, everything we talked about was bills, kids, adult stuff. Not the fun things we had previously done even with kids. I was talking more to friends about things like my feelings and hobbies than I was to her. One of them was a woman, but it was just talking, nothing physical. Even in retrospect I don't think it even got to an emotional affair, but I also know I was more excited to talk to this woman at one point than Cass. I know all marriages have mountains and valleys but it felt like this valley was never going to end. I reasoned that we had a great almost 15 years and nobody could ever take that away from us, but we deserved to be happy. I have dated a little here and there but nobody serious. My two older boys stopped talking to me when we separated and didn't come over. She has tried encouraging them to, I know she has but they are stubborn. I think they blame me. She says she didn't tell them anything. I don't know. The younger ones were coming over every other weekend and whenever I asked them to. Around September, I realized that I had made a huge mistake, but unfortunately around this time I found out she had started seeing someone else. A woman who she used to work with. I felt like I had completely ruined my life and went into a dark spot. I was drinking a lot, both alone and at bars when I didn't have my kids. There were a few incidents where we fought, like, really fought. Sometimes she wouldn't let me talk to them, she'd say she knew I'd been drinking which hadn't been an issue when we were together so I got mad. Said some things that I now regret. I quit drinking around the holidays, like a week before Christmas which was hard with all the parties but I'm glad I did. I've started asking for more time with them and tried reaching out to my older two as well. Now my younger kids come over almost half the time and my 2nd oldest sometimes joins them. The oldest was nice to me when I came over for the holidays but doesn't answer my calls or texts. The kids and i are all in individual therapy. I'm not sure where we're going to go from here. I asked her if she wanted me to take the kids for Valentine's Day but she said she didn't have plans. She had ended things with her girlfriend a few weeks ago. I had kinda joked that we could hang out since we'd both be alone but I don't think she thought I was serious. I was and still am. I definitely can see things more clearly now that I've been sober for a month. Not like 100%, I know I wasn't a full blown alcoholic but I was certainly binge drinking which is just as bad. I'll have one or two beers when I'm with people now but no more and I never drink alone. There is no alcohol or anything at my apartment. The reason I don't know where we go from here is because she is so happy right now. I mean, she looks a lot happier and seems happier than she was when we were together. Even though she and her gf split she's happy. I don't know if I was holding her down. A few months ago, she told me she wasn't interested in divorcing or at least she wasn't going to file anything. She said she'd appreciate a heads up if I did file because she would work with me. I don't want to get divorced and I don't want to be separated and I don't want to be living in this stupid apartment anymore without my kids or my wife. I don't think this is such an easy fix that i can just take her out for dinner and tell her how I feel. I've thought about asking her to join a therapy session with me, or even to get couples counseling but every time I want to ask I don't. I guess I just couldn't handle her saying no. Now that she's single and I'm sober I think she'd be more likely to say yes but if she doesn't I'll be crushed. TL;DR: I'm sorry to be such a bummer. I don’t know where to go from here. Feb 21, 2025 I picked up my younger kids from our old house (her house?) the other day. My 2nd oldest decided to come with us so we chatted while he packed up. It’s usually pleasant and not awkward or anything. And it wasn’t until I asked if we could maybe meet up and chat soon. She was confused about why and asked if I was going to file for divorce. I asked if she wanted me to and she avoided the question. So I told her I didn’t plan on it. I don’t know if that made her happy or angry and she said she could meet me after her match on Friday since the kids.l would be in school and neither of us work Fridays. I asked if we could get lunch then and she was fine with that. I asked her what game? Apparently she plays squash now. On quick thing, Cass is not a late in life lesbian and that’s not why we split. A few years back before covid and everything fell apart she basically told me that she had thought a lot about, realized that she is bi and attracted to both men and women. I was worried she was going to ask me for a divorce but she said there were no action items, wasn’t interested in divorce, threesomes, or polyamory. Just kind of an FYI that she would no longer classify herself as straight. I asked some questions of course but accepted this and we really never spoke about it again. She didn’t have an affair with the coworker, they randomly reconnected months after our separation. They broke up bc her girlfriend expressed a lot of frustration and jealousy regarding how much time Cass spent with the kids. She never introduced her gf to the kids; although the older two know she had been dating someone. I’m not going to lie, the next few days I was pretty nervous. Like more than before. I think I hid it well but probably didn’t. My daughter said I was being weird but her older brother said that was because I was weird. I read my old posts a lot. I was way sappier back then. Something I should confess is that I used to read a lot of like you could call them smutty romance books. Before bed it was a nice way to turn my brain off. I mean turn it off I could read a book go to bed and the next morning have no idea what I had read about the night before. It helped me sleep and the stories didn’t matter that much I guess. I don’t do that anymore but I did cringe a bit at some of the things I had said. I was so sappy. But I was apparently all in on the very 2015 millennial cringe writing, bacon is epic iykyk. Don’t worry to the younger people reading this: one day you, too, will be cringe. And I thought about what I would say a lot obviously. I asked her where her game was and suggested a place near there and was pretty fucking anxious waiting for her. She was late and didn’t really apologize. We caught up a little and I actually think I was sweating because she kept asking what was wrong. I just figured I shouldn’t beat around the bush, even if we’re separated we loved each other so much and have four kids. So I asked her if she had thought about me moving back in. She actually seemed annoyed and asked if I was asking to move back in or just wondering if she’d thought about it. She’s normally not as aggressive about these things. It was strange so I just said I’ve been thinking for the past few months about it and think we made a mistake separating. I regret it, I miss her, I miss our family being together. So yeah I said, yeah I’m asking to come back and be a family again. And she said no. I didn’t really say anything for a minute or so. I guess I didn’t really think she’d say no. She had broken up with her girlfriend and said she wasn’t going to file for divorce. All things you all had pointed out were good signs. I got super clammy and sweaty and I guess just asked why. She said she liked her life now. She didn’t have to answer to anyone. The kids were older and more independent, if she wanted to meet a friend for dinner or go shopping she didn’t have to ask anyone to see if it was ok. She only had to do her own laundry now and since the kids have chores her house workload is much easier to maintain. She can watch what shows she wants and not have to worry about me wanting to play games or watch sports or something. She is planning a trip to Peru with a few of her friends and said she wouldn’t have even considered that if we were still together. She could be more selfish and have more of her time for her. Before you freak out she wasn’t saying that I didn’t do my part in our family. It was me not doing my part it was just that she didn’t have a person to worry about. She tried explaining it like if someone asked her to do something Friday and she knew she was free there was nobody she had to check with to make sure it’s ok she could just say yes. I told her I didn’t care if she did things with her friends but she said that wasn’t the point and said to drop it. I don’t know why I did this then but I asked if she was seeing someone else and she said not really, but that’s none of my business because she doesn’t bring anyone around the kids. Then asked if I was so I told her no. Because it is her business? We have four kids why wouldn’t it be? She said she knew I had been seeing people and I admitted I’d been some dates but nothing serious. She asked if I had planned the dates I went on, like looked for a spot and made reservations. She asked if I paid for them and if I had slept with any of them and I was honest. It didn’t feel like an interrogation but it also didn’t feel like I was talking to cass. She’s normally so warm and friendly and worried about other people but it was more like, she was curious. There were some more things. She’s still mad that I left and feels like I took the easy way out by moving out and leaving her with the house and the kids. Which was not fair to me, we had an entire discussion about it and agreed that would be best. She said that didn’t matter and that for months she was basically doing everything while I got to live like a single guy. I got mad, it wasn’t like I walked in one day and was like hey I’m outta here good luck with all this I’ll see the kids when I feel like it. But that’s how she sees it so I had no idea how to even respond to that. These are just what I remembered. I was not my top self at that lunch. I think I psyched myself out too much, or maybe was too positive and didn’t really consider her just outright rejecting me. She was a little cooler than she normally was. And she’s just different. I don’t know how to explain it. Like I guess I didn’t realize how far apart we had grown. At one point I asked her if she missed our family and she said we should stop talking about this in public, like she was embarrassed. So she left. We hugged. I told her I loved her and she said it back, but I feel like she looked like she felt sorry for me. She said we should do this again sometime. I didn’t have plans last night. I wish I had. I didn’t drink, though don’t worry. I thought about watching the movie you all say is based on my life but I forgot what it was called so I watched this one show Cass used to want me to watch with her but I never did because it looked boring but I actually liked it and I get why she likes it. I watched like the entire first season and texted her way too late that I watched it and loved it. She read it pretty late and eventually responded that she loved that for me and to let her know when I finished it so we could talk. I know I fucked it up. I should have just told her how much I missed her and loved her and would do anything to make it work. I just got nervous. Also I might be being dramatic but it just felt like there were two scepters I don’t know, haunting the conversation in her brother and our oldest son. I know she’s devastated about her brother. I know they were closer than we were just being friends but I’m the one who found him and she’s never validated my grief about him. Like yes I get it he was your brother but he was also my friend. It’s not a competition on who gets to be sadder. And my son thinks I had an affair even though we’ve both told him that’s not true. At least she’s said she told him and yes he’s in therapy but he’s just so angry. And again please before you start saying we should get therapy, I am in therapy and she is happy for me, but is not interested in therapy for herself or couples therapy. I’ve tried pushing it and it hasn’t gone well. So it’s a non starter. And I know there will be someone saying “I know you repeatedly have said that she’s not interested in therapy, but I think you two should try therapy” and while I agree with you, that does not help me. She’s had bad experiences with therapy including couples therapy and will not do it herself. I don’t know. I’m probably over sharing but idk how many people will read this here. If she wants to be alone there’s nothing I can do about that. If she wants to date other people I can’t help that. If she doesn’t want to be married anymore we could take a step back (well, forward from where we are now) and just casually date and I could be her boyfriend or just be friends or whatever. She can go to Peru and play squash and I’m not going to get in her way, if she’ll believe me. I just won’t do an open marriage but I think I know her well enough to know she wouldn’t either. I’m sad. Maybe we were just meant to grow up together but not grow old together. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CerebralCortisol Originally posted to r/bigboobproblems Alright I’m actually screwed - bridesmaid dress incident Editor’s note: made small edits and added paragraph breaks for ease of readability Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: body shaming, controlling behavior Original Post: January 21, 2026 Picture of Bridesmaid Dress description of the bridesmaid dress: strapless and features bold, asymmetrical cutouts along the front, connected by few curved gold metal accents creating a sculptural, almost jewelry-like effect across the torso. Black fabric drapes tightly over the body, emphasizing waist and hips. On one side, the dress has a high thigh slit that reveals most of one leg, adding to the dramatic look. The hem falls to the floor on the opposite side, creating an uneven, stylish silhouette. End of bridesmaid dress description OOP’s post: This is the bridesmaid dress for my friend’s upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, my only two options are death or flashing the entire audience. Yes I’ve already talked to her about how this is physically impossible for me to wear and asked if I could wear a more modest substitute in the same color/fabric or at least wear a long sleeve shirt (that’s my skin tone) under the dress Her response was that I shouldn’t worry bc I’ll look great?? (so no, I’ll actively be flashing her future MIL or smth) And that she wants perfect uniformity for the pictures so no undershirt and that this dress fits her effortlessly classy theme. (I, personally, will not be looking classy in this as you can imagine) We’ve been friends for 12+ years adn in her words I’m “absolutely not allowed to drop out” at this point (not that I want to but guys … look at this thing). So send prayers and structural engineering advice if you have any ig Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Is she getting married in a strip club? OOP: The reception is literally in a club but she says she’s gonna “transform it into smth elegant” I really really wanna ask her if she’s sure the theme is “classy” and not “exotic dancer-esque” 😫. Commenter 2: I would 100% wear a skin tone body suit under this, there is no way I would go out in public in just this! Maybe give her a few days and revisit it? Sometimes people get excited and forget the laws of physics. OOP: Ilysm yes this is my plan. I’m gonna try it on in front of her tmr and pray she “sees” straight up why this isn’t gonna work Commenter 3: All you’ll have to do is actually try it on in front of her. It’s the only way she will understand the gravity of the situation… and that is the gravity your boobs will have in this dress OOP: HAHAHA ♥️ Yes exactly I’m doing this tomorrow bc I’m at a loss 😭 There’s no way I’m not traumatizing the crowd in that dress Commenter 4: maybe I’m the old prude but it feels legitimately rude to choose a club dress as a bridesmaid dress and force your friends of all sizes into… whatever this is OOP: Exactly how I feel 😭 I don’t wanna rain on her parade but this is just not possible for me, ofc I support her choices but this one is really questionable and kinda insulting 😔 Commenter 5: I'm baffled that this is a choice for a bridesmaid dress at all. 😭😭 Surely you are not the only bridesmaid that isn't an A cup. Let alone have any curves at all. Good luck with showing her OP because oooooh boy I would be considering if she refuses to change the dress to just... Drop out of being in the wedding party. OOP: I’m the only one above a B cup and not model skinny, so ofc I understand she’s trying to accommodate 98% of her bridesmaids but that kinda just leaves me fighting for my life 🥹 I hope she sees reason tmr 🙏♥️. Commenter 6: I wouldn't consider that dress classy for a wedding...I agree with wearing a skin tone body suit or something. OOP: She’s an “interesting” gal with very unique taste. I love her really but I think the wedding excitement is fogging her brain a bit when it comes to gravity and physics Commenter 7: That is a wildly inappropriate dress for a bride to choose for her bridesmaids without every single one of them consenting. I would tell her that I would not be wearing the dress and to choose a substitute. If she doesn't okay a substitute I'd step down and ask to attend as a regular guest. OOP: Everyone else consented and loved it when she showed us the other day 🥹 I was the only lone veto and they thought it was bc I didn’t like the design but it’s legit bc I can’t wear it 😭 I hope tm when I try it on for her she sees that I need something under it or a different dress Does OOP know what the bride is actually wearing? OOP: A short lace dress with a sheer stomach panel that’s custom made for the reception (idk don’t ask me why, even I found it questionable) is what I know so far so you can probably guess why the bridesmaid dresses look like this-   Editor's note: OOP made a separate post for the update, but it was removed. The update was reinstalled as a comment in the original post Update (in comments): January 22, 2026 (next day) Hii guys I’m sorry I didn’t know how/where to post an update so I’m just gonna make a new post I’m sorry UPDATE: My friend came over like we agreed but she didn’t tell me she was also bringing her mom and MIL so I was a little caught off guard. Her mom I kinda understand since she’s known me my whole life and bought the dresses for all the bridesmaids, but idk MIL at all so I felt a bit intimidated. Things needed to be seen and said about the dress tho so I asked my friend politely to come in my room so I could try it on in front of her. But her mom insisted I show all of them since she was the one who “spent good money on it” and didn’t see how it could be as bad as I made it out to be, insisting her daughter chose smth “befitting of all us girls” (ok auntie wtv u say). I tried to say it was a bad idea but MIL butted in to say she wanted to see why I was making such a big deal out of nothing. Like ik I always wear baggy clothes and don’t show my figure much now but friend’s mom watched me grow up guys and at the very least she knew I was a G cup in MS and an I/J in HS since I’ve gone shopping w her on multiple occasions. Anyway I just kinda think fuck it, everyone here is a woman with lady bits so it’s nothing they haven’t seen before and say “ok aunties”. I go to put on this atrocity and guys lemme tell you the series of unfortunate events that unfolded: -first I hear some seams stretching and snapping as I slither and shimmy into this thing -then I look in the mirror and omg the fabric, I knew it was thin to begin with but when I saw the way it stretched across the curves of my tummy and hips and ass that shit became sheer, straight up see through -the middle snake’s head popped out from its fabric loop so it’s tail was hanging on for dear life in its fabric loop (that was just loosely hanging down at that point since it wasn’t being pulled taut by the other end of the snake, I didn’t bother fixing it since the point was to show her how bad the dress was) -my stretch marks all over my hips and inner thigh were on full display people -the slit, omg please the slit wasn’t even to the side of my leg, it was basically centered because my thighs are chubby, so when I walked or just moved in general tht shit fluttered in the wind and you got a full view of my hooha (yes I went braless and pantyless bc every set of panties I own would be visible in that dress) -and finally bc I love dramatic effect, I try to get my boobs into that tiny ass panel of fabric at the top, it doesn’t work (what a f surprise) so instead I just let one flop out the bottom of the panel so I have enough room for my singular other tit to sit inside the panel but in doing so I had to like angle my tit sideways with my whole areola showing through the center of the snake I walk out with a little twirl and ass shake, everything jiggling in the wind and I feel the breeze on my ykw. I do a whole number for them, bending over to pick up some “lint”on the floor, performing a mock waltz with an imaginary partner, jumping up and down to some nonexistent music, serving them chai with my tit on the table, sitting on a dining chair in front of them so they see I’m clearly pantyless/braless. My friend is dying laughing, ok that seems like a good sign. Her mom is wide eyed and looks a bit embarrassed but has that understanding glint in her eye too yk, so I was like ok great I’m in the clear so far. Then I look at MIL and woman looks like I just mauled her dog, she was so red in the face. I haven’t been yelled at like that by anyone other than my mother in years. This woman I barely know is spitting and screaming in my face that I’m a “whore” and “kafir” and doing this on purpose to ruin (friend’s) wedding bc im an attention seeker yada yada~ Nobody cut in or attempted to deescalate or save me from the onslaught of her foul breath. They left a while ago after finishing their chai while I sobbed silently on the couch in front of them and yes I changed into a normal skirt and sweater for that. Anyhow all is well, I am no longer a bridesmaid and have been disinvited from the wedding altogether tho. MIL said it was between that and not letting (friend) marry her son bc she associates w “people like me”, which I understand maybe I went overboard, but agreeing to the ultimatum in front of me hurt a bit, so yea this might be the worst day of my life. RIP to a 12+ yr friendship, she was like my sister. Top Comments Commenter 1: Oof. Who needs enemies when you have friends like this. Commenter 2: MIL sounds like a piece of work. I hope that you get to stay friends, and maybe this will open your friends eyes about what to expect from her MIL in the future. But damn, your description of how the dress fit, had me dying of laughter, with you not at you. Cos that was so real. Commenter 3: Wow. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm also sorry that your friend who you thought of like a sister felt it was okay for her future MIL to treat you that way. That's Grade A shitty friend behavior. I hope you tell her as such, and how hurt you are that you meant is little to her as a friend. I mean, does MIL actually have any say in your friend marrying her son? They're both grown adults who can make their own decisions. Unless you live in a culture where the MIL does make decisions like that, in which case I'm sorry. Honestly, if you and this friend are as close as you claim, I think it would be worth reaching out to tell her how hurt you are, and how you aren't entirely sure if your friendship is worth keeping if she's comfortable with you being verbally abused in front of her. Your body is not your fault, nor is it something to be ashamed of, and you warned them several times the dress would not work for you. It's not fair you got shamed for that to the point of tears, and honestly I'm livid on your behalf.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is SlenderSelkie. They posted in r/TwoXChromosomes Previous BORU is here. New Update marked with *****. Thanks to u/helper_robot for letting me know about the update! Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 2 weeks old. This is a longer post. Trigger Warning: mention of stalking; mental illness; mentions of eating disorders; severe anxiety; child emotional neglect Mood Spoiler: strange all around but OOP has answers Original Post: May 1, 2025 I don’t know if this is the right sub for this. But in this moment, as the only blood-related woman on my father’s side of the family it feels gendered. Idk, maybe I’m wrong. A few days ago my dad came over to my house for the first time in quite a while. I’ve had a lot of renovations done since he last saw the place when we first moved in. I have a nervous system condition which, while very fortunate to be able to manage it in such a way that it usually doesn’t impact my life most days out of any given month, can render certain simple tasks very difficult for me when I’m having a flare. It’s also important -as part of managing my condition and maintaining my high level of function- to limit certain activities which can bring about a crash or a flare. My husband is also disabled -he has hypermobile eds- so together we made a list of things we’d love to have as accommodations in the home we share and we either DIYed those things or found contractors to do them for us. I’m really happy with the results. I find that these accommodating renovations make my life a lot easier, I have fewer crashes, and overall more energy. My husband is ELATED with how much more functional he can be after we made these changes. My father isn’t a fan. He thinks it all makes the house “too weird”. He’s worried about the resell value (not that we’re planning to sell anytime soon??). He had a lot of comments when he came over, in fact it was almost all he talked about. I kept trying to gently tell him that this is just what works for us and then divert the subject but he was getting a bit worked up which isn’t really like him in those types of situations. The plan for his visit was he’d come over, meet my foster dog that he might adopt, and take the dogs for a walk then get lunch. When I left him alone for a minute to go use the bathroom after we’d walked the dogs, I came back out and found that he’d attempted to pull one of our accommodating mechanisms out of the kitchen wall. He hadn’t caused any functional damage but he did cause aesthetic damage in that it will now need to be repainted over. I was shocked and kind of hysterical in my reaction and I raised my voice at him when I saw what he was doing. I think I yelled “what the fuck are you doing, dad?? What’s your problem?!” and he responded “I just wanted to see if it was removable! Sorry! it’s just too weird! It’s too weird it’s just not going to work when Billy and Bobby move in with you”. “Billy and Bobby” are my nephews. My brother’s kids. I have never invited them to stay with me -let alone MOVE IN- for any amount of time, and I’ve never been asked to do so. Even in the event that my brother and sister in law passed away in some tragic manner; to my knowledge I should be very far down a VERY long list of people who could be asked to take those kids in before I would be asked. So, I was pretty shocked my dad would say something like that out of the blue (and with so much frustrated emotion) about Billy and Bobby “moving in” because there’s no reason -to my knowledge- for anyone to think that would possibly be happening. I asked him to clarify repeatedly but he just waved it off and told me to forget he said anything and he didn’t want to talk about it. I pressed him and all he said was “well, honey, it’s a massive house! You have room for two boys!”. When I asked him why he would even bring it up though, and clarified that not only did I have absolutely no desire to host my nephews for a visit let alone to “move them in” he clammed up again and just said “forget I ever said anything”. He apologized for damaging my home, immediately transferred a larger sum than necessary to me via Zelle to fix the scratch he’d made and then took me out to lunch as we planned prior. The rest of the day with him was pretty normal and I guess I was just a little shocked or something because I didn’t bring it up again. But now that it’s been a few days I can’t get it out of my head and I’m so annoyed. First of all, my dad hasn’t ever been and would NEVER be that aggressive about any decoration or renovation in my brother’s homes. He just wouldn’t. And I can’t help but feel that he is less respectful of my home because I’m a woman. Which sucks. But more upsetting/confusing….what the fuck was he talking about in terms of my nephews??? Like, is my family conspiring in some way to move those kids in with me? It wouldn’t be the first time that my family assumed I’d take care of those kids without asking me first but in the past it was just babysitting and I have directly told EVERYONE that even that is unacceptable, so I would be really shocked if my brother/sil thought that was acceptable. I guess I’m just spinning out and don’t really know what to do about it. I’m stuck between asking my father about it again first or just reaching out to my brother directly. Some of OOP's Comments: one_bean_hahahaha: Is there something wrong with your brother that he can't raise his own kids? OOP: No, nothing wrong. To my knowledge my brother isn’t looking to move his kids out of his own home either. They are sometimes difficult kids. A little delayed and a lot entitled/enabled. In the past they’ve leaned heavily on family for childcare since my brother has a demanding job and my sil has a hard time being alone with her kids. When I lived with my dad I was a big part of that equation and ended up being more responsible for those kids then I’d have agreed to, because I wasn’t in control of telling them if they could bring the kids over as it was my father’s house. But even when I still lived with my dad I was able to establish some boundaries and assert that I wouldn’t agree to care for them on demand, and that was generally respected after I put my foot down a few times. Hawkson2020: I’d definitely try to get more info from your dad, but failing that it wouldn’t be bad to talk to your brother? It seems like a really out of pocket thing to say unless he has some serious information you don’t. OOP: It’s incredibly out of pocket. Not only do I not want those kids to live with me, but I also would assume that my brother wouldn’t want his kids to live with me. There are a million reasons why, but chiefly it wouldn’t be a good idea safety-wise for those kids! I’ve been dealing with a stalker for years who has already threatened me that she would harm my nephews, at which point I distanced myself from Billy and Bobby (stopped picking them up from school etc) and the threats directed at them stopped. Currently I’m working on taking legal action but nothing is set in stone and even the idea of those kids -who are difficult but who I also love very much- being in my home makes me worried that they would be directly targeted or that there would be some escalation. I actually can’t imagine that my family would think it’s a good idea to move those kids in with me. Like, I can’t imagine circumstances where that would seem appropriate Hawkson2020: Yeah, particularly given that information (but even without it) it’s hard to imagine your brother or sil would want or expect you to take in their kids short of some kind of serious health or relationship emergency. And even then, that wouldn’t be something for your dad to be concerned about unless he’s a particularly worrying person. OOP: Even if there’s an emergency, I simply cannot be the first person on their list to take those kids in. I’m the only younger female blood relative I guess but there are SO many other relatives and family friends who need to come before me on that list. My brother and SIL have a MASSIVE village, so I’m talking DOZENS. It’s baffling to me that it would come down to me to take those kids in under any circumstances Brattius: The fact that he was actively trying to tear your house apart is a Hugh red flag. My bet is your brother is getting a divorce and they were just going to 'dump' then on you since his job is so demanding OOP: Honestly….I feel like a fucking idiot that the two of them getting divorced hadn’t even crossed my mind…. Not that they have an actively bad marriage or anything, but I think their dynamic is weird and I guess I wouldn’t be shocked. Thank you for this insight. I mean, either way it’s a no from me for various reasons. Puzzleheaded-Ad7606: BETTER YET: Group text to them- Guys, I'm worried about Dad. He came over the other day and kinda flipped out about our disability accomations and tried to rip one off the wall. Then he thought Billy and Bobby where coming to live here, but couldn't explain why. I'm worried, has anyone else noticed strange, aggressive behavior? OOP: I think I’ll go with this, but on a call. I want to hear a response in real time. My dad has normalized triangulation a bit too much in this family for my comfort Example of triangulation: Dad will say “your brother is REALLY upset that you said you can’t go to his birthday dinner he EVEN said he’ll move it up an hour just so you can come and I know that you’d still need to move your schedule around even if it’s an hour earlier but he REALLY wants to make it easier for you because he REALLY wants you there!” when my brother said neither of those things. Then he’ll tell my brother “your sister is HEART BROKEN that she can’t make it to your party and she doesn’t want to say anything but she’s hurt that you aren’t having it an hour earlier so she can make it!” When I said neither of those things. And he does all this because he wants the whole family at my brothers party and doesn’t like the idea of the whole family not being present. So my brother moves his party up an hour because he thinks that’s what I said I wanted, I move my schedule around to go to his party because that’s what I think he wanted. And both of us feel kind of weird and resentful and strange and neither of us find out that we got played until we casually talk about the incident ten years later IAmMelonLord: How old is your dad? Could he be having a sort of mental episode that he thinks your nephews are supposed to move in with you? Barring that, I’d ask your brother “hey, do you have any idea why dad would say this? Is something going on?” OOP: He’s in his 70’s but he’s still sharp enough to be working. I asked my other brother (nebulously without mentioning the reason why) who works with my dad every day if he’d noticed any decline and he said dad seems sharp as ever in their work environment. It’s pretty mentally demanding work so I think it would be evident there. I’ll also note though, my dad “rejected” an OCD diagnosis when he was in therapy after my parents divorce. So he’s not without any history of mental illness….not sure if that would cause this behavior though. QueenMEB120: If this is a new development, it may be a UTI. The symptoms of an undiagnosed UTI can mimic early stage dementia. And UTI's can have no physical symptoms, like burning or pain during urination, in the early stages. Look up Silent UTI's. OOP: Oh shit! Dad has gotten several UTIs before! Just googled it and I had no clue that they could be “silent” or that they could impact cognition!!! Selsia6: Is your dad OK with your and your husband's disabilities? It sounds abelist, like he was trying to remove the reminder of your disability and then came up with a nonsensical excuse after the fact. OOP: My dad is in utter denial that I’m disabled. He only briefly accepted when my symptoms were severe and I couldn’t work, but after I started my own business he’s basically just been totally averse to the idea that I need to manage my symptoms and thinks I’m being dramatic. People ask several questions about the stalker OOP mentioned in one of the comments: It’s ok. She’s someone I used to be friends with and honestly it’s my bad because I hung in there even when I realized she was becoming mentally unstable. She became fixated on my husband when he and I began dating and I became the enemy in her eyes. On if dad takes the stalking seriously: No, he does actually take her seriously, This woman has stalked him too and done property damage to his house. Update (Same Post): May 2, 2025 (Next Day) I talked to my brother on the phone about the situation and he expressed that he had absolutely no idea why our father would imply that Billy and Bobby would need to move in with me at any point. He seemed genuinely surprised and to have no clue what the hell dad was talking about. He claims to have absolutely never expressed anything like that to our dad. I believe him. I asked him if there was any possible reason at all that dad would think that I’d need to take in my nephews. Like is there some problem dad thinks he is pre-solving without consulting either of us? Is there an illness or impending divorce or ANYTHING I don’t know about? My brother assured me that there’s nothing like that going on and that -as I assumed- I, of course, wouldn’t even be near the top of the list of permanent caregivers even if something WAS going on because he knows I run two businesses out of my house and also just am not up for taking his kids in unless I am the absolute last safe resort. Both of us are in agreement (as is our other oldest brother) that dad generally doesn’t seem to have any other signs that we’ve noticed of declining cognitive function….like at all. But since this was such a strange outburst we’re still concerned that this is just the earliest sign. My brother -Billy and Bobby’s dad- is going to talk to our dad about it asap and see what he says or what explanation he can give, then we’ll go from there. The issue that we’re both aware of is that my dad, while a loving father and good man to many, is a bit of a liar and a lot of a manipulator. He has a lot of signs of OCD and gets fixated on things, then tries to manipulate to get his way with his fixation. He means well, but he has been known to be full of shit and to have his own strange agendas that don’t have much to do with anyone else’s wants or needs. So unfortunately my brother and I (and my brother has volunteered to go first lol) are going to have to confront him by essentially saying “dad, it’s really important that you’re honest about wether you are confused or intentionally lying/triangulating/manipulating because that’s the difference between us freaking out about your health vs us just understanding that sometimes you lie to push your agenda but your brain is fine”. Thank you to everyone who gave me feedback here! You’ve all been so sweet and supportive except that one guy who for some reason was dead convinced that I didn’t pay for my own home and commented several times and DMed me about it (I did pay for my home, and it’s solely in my name….you weirdo). I’ll keep y’all updated on what my brother and I figure out going forward! New Update *****Update Post: January 10, 2026 (8 months later)****\* I know this was forever ago, but life has been lifing pretty hard since then. The og post and first update which I made at the top of the original are in my post history. First of all I just want to thank everyone for your concern and overall support. This sub is full of such lovely and helpful people. So many of you left tremendously helpful comments and sent me such kind messages as well. So I guess I’ll start by saying that my dad doesn’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s or anything like that. If anything he is perhaps experiencing a very slight cognitive decline due to age, but only insofar as his typical lifelong nonsense becoming a little more pronounced and he’s not really as slick as he thinks he is or as good at manipulating as he’s used to being. Basically, he’s used to being able to get away with a lot more manipulation of his kids than he’s able to get away with now. I don’t even think the onus for this particular episode of his is directly an age thing at all though, I think it’s a situational thing. After I talked to my dad multiple times, conferred with my brothers after they talked to my dad multiple times and after we basically had to tell our father “hey, if you’re not totally upfront about what’s going on we have to assume that you need to see a doctor and we’re NOT just going to drop this like we usually drop uncomfortable things in this family”…I think I have figured out what was up: Ever since I moved out of my father’s house -leaving an empty bedroom and office space in a house that ALREADY had a designated bedroom for the kids because they had a lot sleepovers there- my sister in law has been obsessively pushing the idea that my nephews should start living summers and school breaks at my dad’s house. I knew she’d brought this up a few times but I didn’t know how adamant she was being because this push entirely took place after I had moved. My dad doesn’t live far from my brother and SIL’s place (15 minutes away) so it’s not like they’d be having some special summer experience in a new location…I think she just wants them out of her house for the summer lol… My nephews LOVE staying at grandpas because my dad has never been a real caregiver (not even when we were kids) so there are literally no rules, no bedtimes, no limit on sweets, no parental controls on the tv, no limit on screen times, no one checking if they brushed their teeth or making them shower or do chores or change their clothes, zero supervision over them making messes or doing dumb shit etc. So of course when their mom asked them “do you want to spend the summer at grandpas?! Do you want to go ask grandpa if he’ll let you stay the summer with him???” they went feral over the idea and my dad was immediately put in the position of either agreeing or disappointing his two grandkids and saying no. My dad hates saying no to family outright, because he NEVER wants family to say no to him at all. So he agreed, of course. My dad agreed to this last summer, But even with the help of a daily babysitter (who apparently quit halfway through, and I assume it’s either because my dad made her uncomfortable-which is a whole different kettle of fish-, or because those kids are SUPER entitled), and even though the kids are getting more and more independent, it was torturous and exhausting for him. He never wanted to do that again. But (and my dad didn’t say this, this is me applying what I know about him in general) my father is addicted to being the hero of the family. He needs us all to need him and he needs us all to think he’s great. PLUS he has a massive ego about defying the idea of aging and being ultra energetic and healthy etc, and not “an old man”. He could not bring himself to admit that he doesn’t have the energy for those kids, and he didn’t want to say no because he doesn’t want to normalize anyone saying no to anyone in this family (my father thrives on no one being allowed to have boundaries or say no, but it’s now also become a prison he’s built himself into). So, he was planning to pawn the kids off on me next summer. He was going to agree to take them and then bring them to my house and (in his words) “ease into a smooth transition” from his house to mine. From the sounds of it -and also just knowing my dad- I assume he was going to beg me to take the kids for a single day, drop them off with overnight bags and say “didn’t you say they could sleep over???” then make up a ton of excuses as to why they needed to stay at my house for longer and longer until he ran out the summer. Personally, I know this wouldn’t have worked. I’d literally be dropping the kids off at their own damn house or calling the cops within 24 hours. But I don’t think my dad understands just how badly his plan would have panned out because I used to be a massive doormat. I think he truly believes he could manipulate the situation (and me) into working out in his favor. He apparently asked SIL already if it was ok and she said yes (but she never even asked me about it or brought it up the whole time we were all wondering what my dad was on about??) she only confirmed this AFTER my dad finally admitted to his scheme (Which is WILD because she had just stood there and said NOTHING about it while my brothers and I were trying to figure out if our dad was insane) and tbh I think SIL knew the whole time that my dad was going to fully pawn her kids onto me and she didn’t want to say anything and risk having to have her children gasp living in her OWN house ALL YEAR!!!! I truly don’t know what she THOUGHT was about to happen and when I asked her “so, you didn’t think you should even confirm this with me?” she swore that she “remembered talking to me about it”…which…no, girl! You did not! I would NEVER agree to that. My brother is fairly livid with his wife (he generally hates how reliant she is on outside help to raise the kids when he’s already such an involved dad and they literally have multiple forms of paid childcare). And we are all becoming increasingly less patient with my father’s triangulation bullshit. Like, I’m in my 30’s, my older brothers are both pushing 50 and it’s insane that he’s STILL scheming and claiming it’s all in the name of “what’s best for the family”…because we all have OUR OWN families now but he acts like we are bickering children who he is having to manage in order to keep the family together (extra insane because my brothers and I were not children at the same time), when really he’s just obsessively trying to maintain HIS preferred status quo in a reality where it makes less and less sense to maintain. This was all so foolish and I’m truly annoyed. Like I said, I’ve had a LOT going before and since his initial outburst. A lot of good things that needed my attention and some really hard things too. And instead of getting to be more fully present in what was going on in my own life, I had my focus split and pulled away by worrying that my father was potentially suffering from neurological issues and refusing to be seen for it. My brothers and I all just wasted SO much time on this, all for this to be some stupid bullshit about his pride and him applying his own preferences to our lives AGAIN. Anyway, thank you again to everyone who gave me good insight and advice. I really appreciate ya’ll being here when I was spinning out about it. Some of OOP's Comments: neon_lesbean: I was actually wondering about you earlier this week! God, just reading this was infuriating, I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. Anyway enjoy having your house to yourself! OOP: Thank you! We are! My sister in laws “apology” involved “offering to bring the kids over for a fun day” at my house and I told her her actions have caused me to not want the kids over for the foreseeable future. She’s fuming Example of dad's triangulation: When I was in my early 20’s and my brother was in his mid 40’s our dad accidentally triangulated a wedge between us that took YEARS to resolved just because he wanted my brother to work more and he wanted me to pick my brothers kids up from school every day to accomplish that. He could have just come out and said that both of us “I want YOU to get more work done, and I want you to pick his kids up so he doesn’t have to break midday to do that” but instead he created this convoluted and complicated game of fake telephone that ended in my brother and I both absolutely hating the other and feeling massively insulted. We didn’t realize this until YEARS later. OOP adds: My brother is an extremely active father, actually AND they employ daily childcare. It’s just that my sil is on a constant mission to get those kids away from her. She acts like spending one whopping whole week with her kids (still with their childcare, mind you) without being able to drop them off with someone else will literally kill her. I understand my brother’s frustration because every time he turns around his wife has made another plan to shuttle their kids off and away from them for as long as possible. If there’s a snow forecast she will purposefully rush them over to families houses so they can get snowed in there. During Covid she desperately tried to get them quarantined with her parents in another state (like when there was talk of a lockdown she was RUSHING, driving all day and overnight to get them there and get back home so that they’d be “stuck” with her mom and dad during the lockdown). She flat out refuses to be alone with her children and is constantly angling to sen them elsewhere away from her. SallyAmazeballs: Wow, your SIL sucks. A couple weeks in the summer is one thing, but the whole summer with no-structure Grandpa is just setting herself up for failure as a parent. Kids need structure and healthy food to have the best chances at growing up to their full potential. OOP: Yeah, it’s never been my place obviously but I have always been astonished by how much she pushes for her kids to stay with my dad because he has essentially systematically instilled his own disordered eating (my dad is a severely obese junk food addict and binger) onto my nephews. They were flagged as being extremely overweight at 9 despite being fairly active kids and it’s only gotten worse since. They sneak and hide food, they run up their lunch debt at school (it’s not a financial issue for my brother or SIL but it’s just that the kids are buying LOADS of snacks), and they binge until they get sick. I don’t know what the hell she’s thinking by prioritizing having her kids out of her house over having them home and trying to turn their relationship with food around. My brother and I BOTH had struggles with serious restrictive eating disorders because of how warped of a relationship with food our dad gave us (my brother STILL, at almost 50, struggles with relapsing into bulimia) that have landed us both in the hospital multiple times. He and I were talking about it and he was telling me that it actually makes him feel SO worried and upset and awful when they leave the kids with my dad because he feels like he’s letting them down, but that my SIL sets these things up behind his back and then throws fits and freaks out and vacillates between not speaking to him and non-stop arguing or threatening to just disappear into the night if he doesn’t agree to send the kids to my dads. I guess this last incident was kind of eye opening because it really was BIZARRE that she just stood there like a dead fish for MONTHS while my brothers and I were frantic that my dad had a brain tumor or something OOP adds: Absolutely. I DO have real sympathy for her. The moment they told me they were pregnant I was immediately thinking “oh my god, she’s not a fit mother”. I know that sounds horrible, but she is truly the most fragile and anxious person I’ve ever met. She shuts down (and I mean SHUTS. DOWN.) over the smallest things (stuff that wouldn’t break most people’s stride) to the point of paralysis. She always wanted ONE child, for it to be a girl, and for the girl to be a quiet and calm kid like she and my brother (and all my siblings and I tbh, so it wasn’t a bad bet) were. Instead, she got pregnant with twin boys who ended up having severe hyperactivity and focus problems. This was worst case scenario for her. I really wish they’d just done IVF so she could have had her one girl, I don’t think she’d be so frantic to pawn a daughter off all the time Nephews: I do have serious sympathy for my nephews. They’ve been spoiled to such a damaging degree and now they’re getting bullied and socially punished at school for being entitled bratty cry babies. It sucked to literally watch my family (my sil is not the only one to blame here) either insist upon or passively endorse the consistent decision to make them into worse and worse little people. My dad is so astonished at how horrible their behavior is and he keeps exclaiming about it “coming out of nowhere” when I feel like I’ve been watching a slow motion train crash for years submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Contario_broke I (f25) found clothes that aren’t mine, and my boyfriend (m25) is responding differently TRIGGER WARNING: Probable Infidelity Original Post Sept 13, 2023 Sorry it’s long Yesterday, i was wiping down our laundry room & threw out all of our old detergent + lint garbage. It was completely empty in there besides a new detergent and dryer sheets. Yesterday at 10pm, I went in there to make sure our garage door was locked & it looked the exact same- empty. This morning before work, I saw he left his clothes from yesterday on the ground. I found these socks with them that are really expensive and I know for sure they’re not mine. I didn’t speculate cheating at first, but now I might be based off of his responses? His responses were very odd, I didn’t pry or say anything weird.. nor did I insinuate anything. Word for word what I said ‘Good morning Love! This morning I found socks in the laundry room. They were a bit dirty so I cleaned them, they are an expensive designer brand so they definitely should be returned to whoever they belong to! They’re ___ brand, and apparently when you spend $50 on socks they have a shoe size 😆 It’s a women’s size 5, and if you can just let them know they’re here I can let them in or you can just bring it to them!’ After that it was almost like an interrogation on me, whether or not I remember ‘properly’ (which I am 1000% sure they weren’t in the laundry room yesterday and 1000% they’re not mine.) which is odd, he doesn’t normally react this way. Also, he proceeds with ‘also, I like to do my own laundry’ which is not true, I WFH and he begs me to do his laundry.. so also very odd. Then he goes onto say it’s our friend Brian’s, and he has small feet so makes sense.. I messaged Brian and he said ‘those are not my socks, or anyone I know. They’re too small for me & my girlfriend. I’m a size 11 & she’s a size 8 so they wouldn’t even fit. Thanks for checking though, you should just keep them!’ so I told my partner ‘hey not Brian’s, idc who’s socks they are can you just get them returned? I don’t want the dog to get them’ he then ignores the question, asks if I was going to his fam dinner- which I never say no, so I thought this was odd too? He called me right after I said ‘why wouldn’t I go?’ And then said ‘idk thought maybe you wouldn’t want to go but you can come obviously. Also who spends $50 on socks? You’re sure they’re not yours? I remember seeing you wear them’ I said ‘no clue who would pay that much, but I don’t want the dog to get them.. i know for a fact they’re not mine & apparently they’re not Brian’s or Maddy’s’ he said ‘you spoke to him? Today? What did he say?’ So I repeated it, and he said ‘okay, well I got to go bye have a good day. Love you’ and hung up… He knows I’m not controlling or jealous, i don’t care if he has friendships or carpools, works with, or regularly associates with other females. If he had said ‘oh that’s my friends ____’ and it was a woman, I wouldn’t have bat an eye & he knows this based off of previous experiences together. Idk it’s just odd to me now and maybe I’m overthinking… am I stressing or is this something I should be worried about? TL;DR found clothes that aren’t mine, my boyfriend is reacting differently than he normally does when we speak. It makes me feel like I should be worried. I (f25) think my bf (m25) of 5 years may be cheating on me RELEVANT COMMENTS ElectricityBiscuit86 You've been with him 5 years, you presumable know him very well so if you think he's acting weird or his response is out of character, trust your gut. You can either have the conversation "hey, so your reaction to the socks was confusing, let's talk..." and see if he spirals further/is still super defensive, or you could let it go for now but watch things closely. Is he being weird about other stuff, going out or saying out in non-routine ways, more guarded with his phone or spending longer in the bathroom, that kind of stuff. It's up to you, but don't just sweep it under the rug and convince yourself you're overreacting. You saw what you saw, and the socks came from somwhere akath0110 Also very shady that the partner tried to turn it around on OP — “sure they aren’t yours?” That’s the biggest tell. If there was a clear explanation, he would say so. If he truly was bewildered, he would say that. He wouldn’t try to gaslight OP. Basically he low key told on himself. Colorfuel Agreed, I was actually anticipating from title that OP had approached it confrontationally..but it’s hard to believe that anyone would be so affected by such a benign situation and comment that they it would noticeably affect their behavior for any sustained length of time unless there was more to the story than it would seem. I don’t want to immediately jump to cheating; it’s possible there could be something else maybe personally embarrassing to him about the socks; maybe they’re his or he borrowed them in a pinch and initially liked them but now feels embarrassed once OP described them as small, or fancy (maybe too girly? Idk)….I could see something like that going on too; although I will admit that the anxiety around what his friend may or may not have said to you is particularly worrisome. Keep us updated! OOP I’m sorry I didn’t. I honestly didn’t suspect it to be something bigger than it was until it was almost too late to talk about it. He’s also a very calm and casual texter, so I didn’t want to be confrontational over text once I did get the iffy feeling. He’s also a good liar on the phone (at least from what I’ve seen him lie to other people) but not really when you’re looking at him. I didn’t go to dinner with him as I was upset, and the comments made me realize the likelihood of him cheating. All this being said, I am not sure when I’ll be able to update (tonight or Tmo) as I had to go my family’s house for an emergency just before he got home. I should be home tonight to talk to him though Update - rareddit Sept 20, 2023 (1 week later) I’m really sorry for the delay…. Super busy week I brought this up with him when we both were finally home together and he got frustrated. He got mad and said (paraphrasing it but along these words) ‘I thought we dropped this, you should trust me and if you don’t your insecurity is not a reflection of who I am as a person’. I had told him ‘I am not insecure about myself, or frankly this relationship. If you cheated, you cheated. If you didn’t, you didn’t. Either way I’ll be okay, and I just want to know the truth, no judgement or fights.’ He continued to fight, calling me names I’ve never heard him call me or any other woman before… I knew right there truthfully. He said I should just trust him after knowing how he felt finding out his mom cheated on his dad. Normally this would be valid, but for him he wasn’t really affected by ‘cheating is such a fucked up thing to do..’ it was more so guarding himself more and taking a step back from vulnerability. I brought up how he lied and why that concerned me and made me feel this way, but he said he doesn’t recall saying the lie.. I asked him blatantly if he cheated and he got mad again. I said ‘I need you to answer it’ and he got mad and yelled ‘nothing fucking happened. Why are you so crazy, and insecure?’ Mind you, i asked if we could talk, he said yes. I was calm and told him how I felt about the situation and wanted to know if anything happened. I did not raise my voice, I did not interrupt, I listened & was clear with what I was asking. I was understanding about his feelings, and even apologized for my actions that contributed to his feelings. I was not crazy, and I am not insecure. I told him I want to be strictly friends, he doesn’t want to. I’ve been packing my stuff while looking for an apartment, if I can’t find an available home by I’m done packing I will be moving to my family’s house short term. TL;DR asked my partner if they cheated and fought about it FINAL COMMENTS OOP aaded this edit in the comments I did tell him the way he spoke to me, made me realize on the spot that for 1. He was likely lying, but for 2. I will never subject myself to be spoken like that and cannot continue to be in a relationship with anyone who can say what he said to their partner. He wants to work it out and think one fight shouldn’t end a 5 year relationship. I let him know that I wouldn’t be giving it a fair chance to work if I stayed, I do not see him the same way I saw him before this conversation. It is unfair to drag it out when I know exactly how I feel right now. LastCut3224 Tell him him that you'll stay if he comes clean. Hopefully record it too. Then continue to dump his sorry ass. Send a text to his father so that he'll be disappointed his son turned out like his mother OOP His father is truly one of the kindest people I met, I wouldn’t wish him having any ill feelings with his family. I don’t hate my now ex, I just don’t love him anymore. Honestly, I’ve felt anger so much this week and it’s done nothing beneficial. I’ve been clearing my head, thinking of positives, going through my memories… I felt relief. Relief that I know now, and not later down the road. Relief that I can solely focus on myself. Relief a baby wasn’t involved, and that we aren’t married. It’s a shitty situation, but the relief is a way better feeling than the anger QueenAlpaca You’re the most level-headed OP I’ve come across in a long time. Good for you, and I wish you well in moving on. OOP Thank you & truthfully, I don’t know if I would’ve been level-headed if the conversation went differently. The moment I was being spoken to that way, completely made me look at him differently. I didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want to argue. I didn’t want to be with him at all. kaylakunnymuffin I commend you for your maturity and being so level headed. I on the other hand, am not like this but am working on it lol I do have to ask though, do you think you may have been a bit checked out before this situation came about? I only ask, because I've been in similar situations with ex partners before and I was pretty cool, calm and collected when I ended things, but mainly because I was mostly already checked out of that relationship, mentally anyway. OOP Similar but not quite. As soon as he used the words he did, I was done. It was easy for me not to be mad because there was no reason fighting with someone I will be blocking, and there’s no reason to fight and act like I care to make it work when I clearly do not. I was a bit anxious following up to our conversation that was a few after the original post, but I wasn’t checked out until the language he used Abualiexpress1 He couldn't answer a simple yes or no answer and got mad at you instead. I think you are right for moving on. Classic cheater manouver (DARVO): Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Just because his mom cheated on his dad doesn't make him immune to cheating. OOP Thank you, me too cinnamon_s Just because it happened with his parents does not mean he wouldn't. It's a cover. OOP No it does not mean anything to be honest. But even with that, we’ve talked about how he felt after knowing this and it was basically just him having issues with trusting women lol THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Every year, I go to the movie theater as much as possible. It's my favorite place in the world. I first started keeping track/scores/reviews/ticket stubs in 2015. Since then, I've seen 1,827 different movies in theaters: 5 in 2015, 9 in 2016, 146 in 2017, 162 in 2018, 192 in 2019, 44 in 2020, 86 in 2021, 270 in 2022, 325 in 2023, 298 in 2024, and 290 this year. For this ranking, I'm only counting movies I saw in theaters, nothing that I watched at home. I'm not counting re-watches. I don't have a specific scoring system, it's just a rating I give to the movie right after watching. I've included a few re-releases, short films, and TV series, as long as they were seen in a theater (and for the first time). This is all just for fun and not meant to be taken super seriously, I'm not a professional movie critic. I just like going to the movies. I attended 9 film festivals in 2025 for a total of 124 movies. 97 movies had cast and/or crew in attendance for Q&As. There were 26 World Premieres, 11 North American Premieres, 11 Canadian Premieres, 11 East Coast Premieres, 17 Southeast Premieres, 20 Florida/Georgia/Orlando/US/Tampa/South Florida/International Premieres: Toronto International Film Festival - 29 Movies in 7 Days SCAD Savannah Film Festival - 29 Movies in 8 Days Fantasia Film Festival - 18 Movies in 6 Days Florida Film Festival - 13 Movies in 5 Days Miami Film Festival - 11 Movies in 5 Days Popcorn Frights Film Festival - 11 Movies in 8 Days Gasparilla International Film Festival - 6 Movies in 3 Days Miami Jewish Film Festival - 5 Movies in 3 Days Rendez-Vous Cinema Quebec - 2 Movies in 2 Days There were 11 movies that I re-watched in theaters: One Battle After Another - x7 Hamnet - x3 Nouvelle Vague - x2 Sinners - x2 If I Had Legs I'd Kick You - x2 The Testament of Ann Lee - x2 Highest 2 Lowest - x2 The Life of Chuck - x2 Him - x2 Twinless - x2 Sentimental Value - x2 I have AMC's A-List, Regal's Unlimited, Cinemark's MovieClub, as well as memberships to the Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and Toronto film societies. I saw 290 movies in theaters in 2025. Here is my full ranking: The Testament of Ann Lee - 10/10 - It's a sprawling, intoxicating, and beautiful historical-epic with some of the best dance-sequence choreography I've ever seen on film. All of the performances are perfect, the songs/prayers are all memorable, the narration grabs you from the first second and never lets go, and it's got the most confident directing of the year. I wanted 5 more hours of Mother Ann's story. In a fair world, Amanda Seyfried is the runaway Best Actress Oscar winner. This'll go down as one of the best period-dramas of the 21st century. There's one or two masterpieces per year, Ann Lee a no-doubter for one of those spots. One Battle After Another - 10/10 - Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville Junction. Marty Supreme - 10/10 The Perfect Neighbor - 9/10 - I've not cried in a movie theater this much since Moonlight. It's the kind of movie that will make your blood boil and will make you melt to your seat by the end. The bodycam footage where the dad has to tell his two sons that their mother isn't coming home is something that will leave a scar on your heart forever. It's also very impressive on a technical level, the best documentary editing since Apollo 11 in 2019. I can't imagine all of the work that went into piecing this thing together. Sinners - 9/10 Brokeback Mountain (Re-Release) - 9/10 - I'm a bit late to the party here, this 20th anniversary theatrical-release was the first time I've seen this movie, and goddamn was it worth the wait. One of the most powerful love stories ever shot. It's the ultimate "what could've been" love story. Heath's performance is generational. I'm now a card-carrying member of the Brokeback Mountain Was Robbed for Best Picture by Crash Society™. Warfare - 9/10 - You can't talk about Warfare without first shouting out the insanely-great sound design. You could watch this movie with your eyes closed and still be impressed. An impossibly-tense war movie that makes 95 minutes feel like 10 minutes. It's really this generation's Black Hawk Down (huge compliment). It's a lot more grounded and believable though, with an outstanding ensemble cast. I love that nobody is a supersoldier in this, just guys in a bad spot in a bad point in time. It doesn't glorify but it also doesn't minimize. This movie will stand the test of time as one of the best war films of the decade. This thing was custom-built in a movie-lab just for me. Sorry, Baby - 9/10 - Eva Victor is 2025's major revelation. This movie is heartbreaking, hilarious, bittersweet, and soul-warming. It's probably the best Original Screenplay of the year too. This made me realize how much I really missed Lucas Hedges. So cool to see him pop up again. Bugonia - 9/10 - Yorgos doesn't miss. Hamnet- 9/10 - An all-time child-actor performance from Jacobi Jupe. This movie is equally soul-crushing and hopeful. Jessie Buckley's close-up when Hamnet dies is pound-for-pound the best single scene of the year. F1 - 9/10 - As far as fun-summer-blockbuster movies go, F1 is as good as it gets. It's this year's Top Gun: Maverick. Was it cliche? Yes. Was it predictable? Yes. Did I have a fucking blast for 2 hours? Also, yes. Keep pumping these out, Apple. The Phoenician Scheme - 9/10 - Asteroid City & The French Dispatch were slight missteps, but Wes Anderson is officially back. This movie overflows with heart & laughs. (with 10/10 production/set design as usual) Sacrifice - 9/10 - Anya Taylor-Joy was born to play an Icelandic eco-terrorist and Chris Evans was born to play the narcissitic, A-List actor in a rut suddenty thrust back into the limelight. Gorgeously shot, laugh-a-minute first act. I had a really great time with this one, it reminded me a lot of Don't Look Up. Very surprised everyone hates it. The Smashing Machine - 9/10 Magazine Dreams - 8/10 - Jonathan Majors comes in with maybe one of the most physically-demanding performances of all time. Without the real-life drama, this might've been an Oscar-winning role for him. Great movie. Highest 2 Lowest - 8/10 - If it wasn't for an extremely uneven first act and some classic weird Spike quirks in there, like insane transitions and some "how do you do, fellow kids?" moments , this would be one of the best movies of the year. It's still really really great, and the insane score kind of grows on you as it goes. Denzel is at the top of his game. My favorite Original Song of the year at the end. Train Dreams - 8/10 - It takes a while to grow on you. It might take an hour, it might take 5 days, but it'll eventually hit you like a....train (sorry). It's a beautiful slow burn about appreciating life's fleeting and rare moments of joy. The world keeps going on without you, and that's okay. It's extremely reflective and existential. Beautiful stuff. It did what A Ghost Story did for me a few years ago. Presence - 8/10 - Lucy Liu. No notes. It Was Just An Accident - 8/10 - A lot more humor than I expected. The most impressive longshot of the year with that interrogation scene near the end. Mariam Afshari deserves more attention. And holy fuck does that pin-drop ending hit. There's a few ways you can interpret the ending too which is really cool. The Threesome - 8/10 Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie - 8/10 - If you like satirical comedies (like Borat), just do yourself a favor and check it out. You’ll laugh more in the first 30 minutes than in any movie of the past 5 years. I'm Still Here - 8/10 Black Bag - 8/10 Nouvelle Vague - 8/10 - A fun, sweet, breezy, delicate ode to the French New Wave. A movie for movie nerds. Zoey Deutch is a delight and Guillaume Marbeck is one of the year's breakout actors. Left-Handed Girl - 8/10 - A beautiful slice-of-life family drama that’s right up my alley. Wonderful performances from the 2 young leads (their first major roles) and possibly the catchiest theme track of the year. All fans of Sean Baker should check this one out. Nina Ye killed it at the Q&A. Splitsville - 8/10 - Hilarious, sharp, sexy. One of the better recent romantic-comedies (big emphasis on comedy). I laughed more during the first fight sequence than probably any other single scene this year. Advice for any shlubby screenwriters out there: co-writing a sharp, funny screenplay where your romantic interestes are 10/10s like Dakota and Adria is a good move. It Ends - 8/10 - Sometimes you're lucky enough to catch a great movie from a first-time director and you know they'll blow up soon. This is that movie for 2025. The Count of Monte Cristo - 8/10 - You don't get these types of epics much anymore. Really well made and crafted. It's the best Monte Cristo has ever looked on screen. Oh, Hi! - 8/10 Sacramento - 8/10 - Michael Cera, how I've missed you. Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning - 8/10 Is This Thing On? - 8/10 - Career-best stuff from Will Arnett. If only Laura Dern's character wasn't so poorly-written and shitty. Great, improv-like scenes in the comedy club. Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery 8/10 - Doesn't quite reach the peak of the first one, but it's a step up from the 2nd. It's a lot more personal and dark than the other 2, which I really liked, and it keeps the (sometimes-outdated) humor. Fucktoys - 8/10 - It's Anora on mushrooms. It's weird, it's gross, it's got a ton of sex and some violence. It's kind of a modern nasty fairy tale. It's everything you want. Would recommend. Annapurna Sriram is a major talent to watch out for. Urchin - 8/10 - Part Safdie, part Glazer, part Leigh. A really confident and impressive debut film from Harris Dickinson. Harry Dillane is magnetic. Eternity - 8/10 Predator: Badlands - 8/10 A Quiet Place w/ Live Commentary (Re-Release) - 8/10 - This was the first "live commentary" screening I've ever attended. It was with co-writers Scott Beck & Bryan Woods (who also co-directed Heretic), moderated by Josh Malerman (who wrote Bird Box). A very fun screening, very insightful and amusing. Think Mystery Science Theater 3000, but for an actually-good movie. Final Destination: Bloodlines - 8/10 Companion - 8/10 No Other Land - 8/10 - Incredible achievement in documentary filmmaking. almost unfurls like a narrative drama. The only documentary other than 20 Days In Mariupol that's made me want to look away. It's really impressive how angry it makes you but also weaves in beautiful little funny moments of humanity that bring you back down to earth. You would think that "pouring cement down village water wells" was a cartoonish movie-villain move that would never actually happen in real life, but nope, it happens. The Girl with the Needle - 8/10 - Sometimes you just need a Cristian Mungiu-like hit of depression. This filled that hole. 28 Years Later - 8/10 The Long Walk - 8/10 - Not shying away from the brutality/violence is this movie's biggest strength. David Jonsson and Cooper Hoffman are perfect together. It's a very unique post-apocalyptic film, a different feel from the usual YA slop. Mark Hamill is very goofy and bad though. Rough casting there. Sentimental Value - 8/10 - This was a lot better on 2nd watch. In her limited screentime, Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas puts in the best supporting performance of the year. She is the heart & soul of this movie. Truly heartbreaking stuff when Renate reads her the monologue at the table. The History of Sound - 8/10 - Shoutout to this movie for introducing me to Silver Dagger, probably the greatest folk song ever. I've had different covers of it playing on repeat since the minute I left the theater. Paul Mescal was amazing in his rendition. Beautiful, Brokeback Mountain-like love story about what could've been and regrets. A House of Dynamite - 8/10 - It's only fair to score this by act: First Act: 10/10 - Movie-of-the-year potential. Thrilling and engaging. I wanted to cry everytime Rebecca Ferguson was on screen. Second Act: 8/10: The greatest TV pilot episode you've ever seen. Greta Lee keeps getting done dirty though. Third Act: 3/10 - What a fumble nooooooooo Kathryn noooooooo. My Mom Jayne - 8/10 Sirat - 8/10 - Sound design that will have your clothes shaking during the rave sequences and have you jump during the (extremely) unexpected death scene(s). A great (but extremely bleak) odyssey through the desert set against the backdrop of the world falling apart. Good shit. She Dances - 8/10 - Whenever Steve and Audrey Zahn are on-screen together, the scenes burst with authenticity and genuineness. The script is sweet, funny when it needs to be, and sometimes brings out a few tears. Really great little family-drama. Hamilton - 8/10 Bring Her Back - 8/10 - Danny and Michael Philippou should be thrown in fucking jail for that scene of the kid chewing on the knife. Sovereign - 8/10 Weapons - 8/10 Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair - 8/10 - Confession: I had only seen bits and pieces of both Kill Bill movies prior to this. I had an abolute blast. The 2nd half doesn't quite live up to the first though. Avatar: Fire and Ash - 8/10 - Oona Chaplin awoke something in me. i'm now a Varangsexual. Mile End Kicks - 8/10 - Chandler Levack is Canada’s brightest up and coming filmmaker since Xavier Dolan. Pls keep her on your radar. Now she needs to make a movie without an annoyingly-unlikeable lead. Nuremberg - 8/10 - Your dad's pick for Best Picture. I had really low expectations, a 2.5-hour WW2 courtroom drama sounds like Oscar-bait 20 years too late, but a really tight script and perfect pacing kept me thoroughly engaged. It's also the best Russell Crowe performance since...Gladiator? Good stuff. I'm back on the WW2 movie train. Leo Woodall knocks it out of the pack with his monologue too. Out of nowhere. The Naked Gun - 8/10 Twinless - 8/10 Rebuilding - 8/10 - Lowkey family-drama set in the aftermath of a fire that destroys a man's family ranch. Josh O'Connor is outstanding as usual. Eric LaRue - 8/10 The Life of Chuck - 8/10 Frankenstein - 8/10 - It's undoubtedly technically impressive, probably deserves Oscar nominations in most tech categories. The cast and crew is stacked, and it's solid, but there's a major thing keeping it from being truly great/top 25 of the year: an interesting story. It's really good but classic GDT style-over-substance like Crimson Peak. Megadoc - 8/10 - Almost makes up for the actual movie. Almost. The Francis/Shia and Aubrey/Dustin dynamics were really fascinating to watch. Really great doc about the chaos of filmmaking. It's a shame Adam Driver and Nathalie Emmanuel didn't want to be filmed for it, but I can't say I blame them. Jay Kelly - 8/10 Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere - 8/10 - Everyone else is wrong, this thing was good. Atlantic City forever. Rosemary's Baby (Re-Release) - 8/10 Hurry Up Tomorrow- 8/10 - Maybe throw me in jail for this but I thought this thing rocked? Part Vox Lux, part Misery, part Good Time. Jenna Ortega absolutely smashes it (wish the whole movie was from her POV tbh) and Keoghan/Abel are pretty solid as well. If you can look over the self indulgence (which is kinda the point) and a bad 5-minute sequence near the end, this is a banger. The score and camework alone make it watchable. Trey Edward Shults fan until the day I die. Together - 8/10 Americana - 8/10 - It does jump the shark a bit near the end when like 45 people die and it becomes a bit unbelievable, but it's a fun Tarantino-like crime story and Sidney Sweeney/Paul Walter Hauser are great together. It's Never Over, Jeff Buckley - 8/10 The Fantastic Four: First Steps - 7/10 The Damned - 7/10 - Claustrophobic period-pieces are my shit. An overlooked January-dump movie that deserves more praise. The Ballad of Wallis Island - 7/10 She Rides Shotgun - 7/10 Christy - 7/10 Roofman 7/10 - A perfectly-solid action-crime-comedy with a stellar Channing Tatum and Kirsten Dunst. This would've made $200M domestic 20 years ago. It doesn't have the usual emotional devastation that you'd expect from a Derek Cianfrance film, but that's fine. Thunderbolts - 7/10 - Like most people, I'm kinda "over" the Marvel formula, and in general this was a bit more of the same, but Pugh and Harbour commit really hard and keep it very engaging and just-different-enough. It's one of the better recent MCU efforts. I liked Julia Louis-Dreyfus in a Veep-adjacent role. Materialists - 7/10 Dead Man's Wire - 7/10 Rental Family - 7/10 Sisu: Road to Revenge - 7/10 - A nice improvement over the first one, rare for a sequel. Some really impressive kills. Mickey 17 - 7/10 Shin Godzilla (Re-Release) - 7/10 The School Duel - 7/10 Eephus - 7/10 - A local beer league baseball team plays their final game at the local park. Makes you feel nice and fuzzy and warm. Dangerous Animals - 7/10 - Some actors are born for a certain role. Jai Courtney is that actor in this movie. Ballerina - 7/10 Vermiglio - 7/10 Violent Ends - 7/10 Good Fortune - 7/10 - There are some glaring flaws (like Aziz's acting & delivery), but it does a lot of things very well and has a sweet enough ending to keep this pretty good. Keanu's character is a highlight and has a ton of great lines ("I used to be a celestial being and now I'm a chainsmoker", etc) Secret Mall Apartment - 7/10 Blue Moon - 7/10 - Ethan Hawke is outstanding and basically shows off and runs circles around everybody for 100 minutes, but chamber pieces just aren’t reaching “great” level for me recently. Wicked: For Good - 7/10 The Surfer - 7/10 Eleanor the Great - 7/10 - Pure boomer catnip. Your grandma's favorite movie of 2025. June Squibb is a national treasure. Protect her at all costs. Blue Heron - 7/10 - An Officer and a Spy - 7/10 - Polanski still has a bit of juice. Nobody is doing courtroom-dramas like the French recently. California Schemin' - 7/10 - It gets a bit repetitive but it's a solid directorial debut effort from James McAvoy. A Big Bold Beautiful Journey - 7/10 Villes Jacques-Carton - 7/10 - Quebec represent. (weak year for Quebec cinema I'll admit) Normal - 7/10 - If you like John Wick and John Wick-like clone films, you’ll like this. Lots of fun kills. Lots of blood. Good popcorn flick. Not breaking any new ground though. The Ballad of a Small Player - 7/10 - Macau is a sick setting for a film, and I really dug the first hour, a degenerate gambler just digging his own grave, and the score from Volker Bertelmann is a standout of the year, but it loses its way a bit when he dies (or maybe he doesn't? who knows). Also, more Fala Chen please. Jurassic World: Rebirth - 7/10 Superman - 7/10 - There's some funny lines, solid needledrops, and Rachel Brosnahan is great as usual, but it's not enough to make it really pop. Solid movie, another decent entry in the comic book movie category, but it doesn't reinvigorate my enthusiasm for the genre as a whole like I'd hoped it would. Tatami - 7/10 One of Them Days - 7/10 - Katt Williams being the highlight of a movie in the year of our lord 2025 was not on my bingo card. We need more crowd-pleasing comedies like this in theaters. The Seed of the Sacred Fig - 7/10 Fackham Hall - 7/10 - The Trainspotting poster bit was so good. Non-stop bits and easter eggs, a fun time. The Wizard of the Kremlin - 7/10 Caught Stealing - 7/10 - Zoë Kravitz is gone far too soon. I Love LA (TV Series) - 7/10 Fight or Flight - 7/10 - It sequel-baits a bit too hard and the tech-villains are way too cartoony, but some solid kills, great lines/editing, and Josh Hartnett fully committing to the alcoholic, down-on-his-luck assassin bit really keeps it entertaining enough. Jane Austen Wrecked My Life - 7/10 Sisters - 7/10 Parthenope - 7/10 - It's a gorgeous-looking movie, I could stare at Celeste Dalla Porta for 10 more hours, and I'm a big Paolo Sorrentino fan but this feels a bit more style-over-substance than his usual output. The Monkey - 7/10 The Luckiest Man in America - 7/10 - When an indie budget is stretched to the limit and puts out a good movie. Terrestrial - 7/10 Two Women - 7/10 Sharp Corner - 7/10 - I watched this dubbed in French so the performances definitely took a hit, but it was a pretty biting look at the pressures of the workplace and family leading to a man's downward spiral. Ben Foster is always solid (even when he's dubbed in French-Canadian). Sweetness - 7/10 Spinal Tap 2: The End Continues - 7/10 - I have still not seen the original, but this was good enough as a standalone. The final performance scene leaves a bit to be desired, but there's enough humorous dialogue to keep it chugging along ("in the daytime, ghosts are just rumors" is my personal favorite". Almost Popular - 7/10 My Dead Friend Zoe - 7/10 I Am Frankelda - 7/10 The Amateur - 7/10 - It's basically Bourne-lite, but they don't make these globe-trotting spy movies enough anymore. I enjoyed it. Torture-by-pollen was a wild move though. On Swift Horses - 7/10 Merrily We Roll Along - 7/10 - As far as theatrical pro-shots go, it's below Waitress & Hamilton. At first the constant cuts are a bit annoying/nauseating, but it works itself out. Radcliffe has one really amazing/impressive song number (during the TV interview), Groff is outstanding throughout. Was not a fan of Lindsay Mendez at all. I wanted a bit more emotionally from the whole thing. The theme song is amazing. Heart Eyes - 7/10 No Other Choice - 7/10 - good but kinda very long, innit? Freaky Tales - 7/10 The Wedding Banquet - 7/10 - Fun little rom-com brought down a bit by rough acting and awkward line/joke delivery from Bowen Yang and the Korean guy. Lily and Kelly carried them big time. Loved the “we have to de-gay the house!!!” bit. Great ending too. (never saw the original) Freakier Friday - 7/10 Rust - 7/10 The Ugly Stepsister - 7/10 Come Closer - 7/10 La Grazia 7/10 - Location scouts for Sorrentino movies need special recognition. The Accountant 2 - 7/10 - The story is a bit overcooked (the X-Men-like school for autistic super-hackers is a crazy turn for this movie to take) and it gets a bit too Sound of Freedom-y, but the Affleck/Bernthal scenes together keep it from falling apart completely. Rise (Short Film) - 7/10 Tornado - 6/10 Inheritance - 6/10 The Housemaid - 6/10 Anemone - 6/10 - [Sean Bean stares in amazement at DDL's performance] x10. There's a few good lines ("god doesn't need undies, cause he's not full of shit like you are", "the explosion was so loud you couldn't hear it"), two amazing DDL monologues, and it looks amazing, but feels kind of empty as a whole. Definitely something missing. Spider & Jessie - 6/10 Orwell: 2+2=5 - 6/10 - Some sequences are truly must-see pieces of documentary filmmaking (like the grilling of the ghoulish tech billionaire fucks and the January 6th bits) but then others are so truly scattered and shoehorned that it disconnects you from the message of the movie. 9/10 potential here if it could get out of its own way. Don't Let's Go to The Dogs Tonight - 6/10 Charlie Harper - 6/10 - A cute story about a highschool sweetheart couple (an aspiring chef and an underachieving alcoholic, classic) that’s shot really great and acted well (othet than the non-existent drunk acting from a supposed alcoholic) but ultimately burdened by a mountain of cliches. Song Sung Blue - 6/10 The Toxic Avenger 6/10 - A Troma film should have more nudity. Let's bring nudity back. Put me down for more nudity. Tron: Ares - 6/10 If I Had Legs I'd Kick You - 6/10 Anaconda - 6/10 - One day soon I'll be tired and over and the ironic, meta, big-studio-movie, but today is not one of those days. I had a decent time with this. A The Legend of Bagger Vance reference in 2025 deserves some respect. Death Does Not Exist - 6/10 40 Acres - 6/10 Locked - 6/10 Paddington in Peru - 6/10 Clown In A Cornfield - 6/10 Captain America: Brave New World - 6/10 - Adding this to the never-ending list of good-but-forgettable comic book movies. The genre is stale as hell. Wolf Man - 6/10 - Really liked the POV switches, sound design, and creature design, but the rest is by-the-numbers horror flick. Drop - 6/10 Blood for Dracula (Re-Release) - 6/10 Taylor Swift - The Official Release Party of a Showgirl - 6/10 - The lyric video stuff was whatever/boring/filler but I really liked the behind-the-scenes look at the making of the Ophelia music video. I could’ve watched an entire doc of Taylor directing that video. Great song too. And the closing song rocked too. Fanny - 6/10 Find Your Friends - 6/10 All Her Fault (TV Series) - 6/10 Fairyland - 6/10 A Nice Indian Boy - 6/10 Eddington - 6/10 - There's some interesting stuff in here, but overall kind of a mess. That's been Ari Aster's vibe recently. A Minecraft Movie - 6/10 To Kill A Wolf - 6/10 Keeper - 6/10 Waltzing with Brando - 6/10 - Billy Zane is super convincing as Marlon Brando. The rest is forgettable. Re-Animator (Re-Release) - 6/10 Opus - 6/10 - John Malkovich could not have been more horribly miscast. There's a good cult movie hidden in here somewhere, but Ayo by herself couldn't bring it out. Needed some more passes at rewrites. Grand Theft Hamlet - 6/10 Den of Thieves 2: Pantera - 6/10 Novocaine - 6/10 Barcelona (Re-Release) - 6/10 The Roses - 6/10 - This was a Dollar Tree Marriage Story. Very tonally-uneven. Kate McKinnon is distractingly-bad. Cumberbatch and Colman work well enough together to keep it watchable but it's kinda messy. IT: Welcome to Derry (TV Series) - 6/10 Modern Whore - 6/10 100 Nights of Hero - 6/10 Ick - 6/10 Algiers - 6/10 Everything's Going to Be Great - 6/10 - I really wish Bryan Cranston didn't die early on in the movie. His character and charisma really kept this afloat at first. It mostly fall flats after he's gone, except a few sweet moments. Weirdly over-religious vibes to the movie. Angel Studios was probably close to landing this one. Abraham's Boys - 6/10 I Know What You Did Last Summer - 6/10 - Worth seeing for the Nicole Kidman AMC intro reference alone. Death of a Unicorn - 6/10 Clorofilla - 6/10 I Don't Understand You - 6/10 On Becoming A Guinea Fowl - 6/10 - It's hard to think of a more recent ending that's so unsatisfying. It's good until that. Fuck those last 5 minutes. Allen Sunshine - 6/10 Night of the Demons (Re-Release) - 6/10 La Gloria - 6/10 The Legend of Ochi - 6/10 - It's a gorgeous movie and very Wes Anderson-coded, but too childish to make a real impact. If I'm honest, Helena Zengel should've just spoken German (with subtitles) instead of intelligible English. Cleaner - 6/10 Bonjour, Tristesse - Lily McInerny is outstanding, one of my picks for "breakout" performances of the year, and I'm a sucker for a sun-drenched Mediterranean setting, but Chloë Sevigny is just so bad and sinks the rest of the performances. Love Machine (Short Film) - 6/10 The Shrouds - 6/10 Mermaid - 6/10 - With 20-25 minutes shaved off, this could've been great. It captures some of the gross underbelly of Florida that not a lot of movies can (The Florida Project being the best example), but it's dragged down by bad performances and a plot that's too dragged out. I wanted it to end at least 5 times. Dog of God - 6/10 Trust - 6/10 Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale - 5/10 - It loses a lot of the charm of the first 2 films. Dead of Winter - 5/10 The Friend - 5/10 Him - 5/10 Somnium - 5/10 Hard Truths - 5/10 Borderline - 5.7 - Full disclosure: I saw this in a theater but left about halfway because I saw a big ass rat crawling through the aisle (2nd time I've ever seen one in a theater. Other time was in 2019 for The Best of Enemies). That's gonna be a no from me, dawg. Finished the rest at home. All that being said, Samara Weaving is good but she can only do so much to carry a weak story. Hunting Daze - 5/10 The Chronology of Water- 5/10 - A completely incomprehensible first-45-minutes (by design I guess?), but Imogen poots puts in one of the most daring & brave performances in a while. A huge huge swing by Kristen Stewart for a directorial debut. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it misses hard. www.rachelormont.com - 5/10 - This movie is fucking disgusting. I'm pretty sure real-life misdemeanors/felonies were actually committed during the filming (seriously). But it's just weird and funny enough (especially during the meta, audience-speaking portion) to keep you locked in. A wild ride that I wouldn't take again but that I'm happy to have taken off of the bucket list. Honey, Don't! - 5/10 - "My left or your left?", "We're facing the same way" is one of the year's best exchanges, and there's a few of those gems, but ultimately this is one of the most disjointed movies involving A-list talent I've ever seen (looking at you, Amsterdam). Too much going on, some really awful performances (Charlie Day, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans). Only Margaret Qualley showed up. She rocks. Swiped - 5/10 - We have The Social Network at home. Bone Lake - 5/10 Black Phone 2 - 5/10 - There should be a law capping Blumhouse horrors at 95 minutes. Big drop-off from the first one. Madelaine McGraw was fantastic though. The Woman in the Yard - 5/10 Seven Veils - 5/10 M3gan 2.0 - 5/10 - I've gotta admit that there's a lot of really solid & memorable one-liners in here, but this movie really needed an R-rating and 25 minutes less of runtime. Fuze - 5/10 Now You See Me Now You Don't - 5/10 The Running Man - 5/10 - Edgar no :( Ella McCay - 5/10 - There's some truly baffling stuff going on in this movie (30-year old Ema MacKey unconvincingly playing a 15-year old for a part of the movie being one of them), but I love James L. Brooks too much to give it a lower score. #EllaMcCayChallenge Sketch - 5/10 The Well - 5/10 Queens of the Dead - 5/10 Unmoored - 5/10 Last Breath - 5/10 Mr. Blake at Your Service! - 5/10 Hedda - 5/10 - Aside from the solid costume and set design (and a few moments when I was reminded of Babylon), this was a pretty nothing-movie with a confusing plot and extremely unlikeable characters. The Virgin of Quarry Lake - 5/10 - Visually striking but much too slow. Mr. Melvin - 5/10 Armand - 5/10 The Bearded Girl - 5//10 Karate Kid: Legends - 5/10 Test Screening - 5/10 Sounds of Glass (Short Film) - 5/10 Invention - 5/10 The Penguin Lessons - 5/10 Another Simple Favor - 4/10 - This might be the most overcooked script of the year. There's just so much going on, you can't keep track of any character motivations, and it just throws in twists for the sake of twists. The original was fine, this was not good. Good Boy - 4/10 Hacked: A Double Entendre of Rage Fueled Karma - 4/10 Hot Milk - 4/10 - There's something good hidden in here, but it's irritating as hell. The Room Next Door - 4/10 - All of the bad of Almadovar (clunky dialogue, overly-melodramatic, etc), with none of the good. Boring as well Sister Midnight - 4/10 The Devil’s Bride - 4/10 After the Hunt- 4/10 - ??????????????? Snow White - 4/10 - I think Rachel Zegler is great. Whenever she wasn't on screen, I didn't care. Disney live-action remakes have to start caring a lot more about what they're putting out there. The returns are diminishing big time. Of Dogs and Men - 4/10 Shelby Oaks - 4/10 Nobody 2 - 4/10 - I never want to see Sharon Stone in anything ever again. Take the Oscar nomination away. Wish You Were Here - 4//10 The Baltimorons - 4/10 Die My Love - 4/10 - Shoutout to John Prine. The Carpenter's Son - 4/10 Dust Bunny - 4/10 The Rule of Jenny Penn - 4/10 - Painfully repetitive. Enough lens-flare-induced-blindness to probably qualify for a class action lawsuit. Flight Risk - 4/10 Anniversary - 4/10 - About as subtle as brick to the temple. Jesus christ. Ash - 4/10 Reflection in a Dead Diamond - 4/10 - Zzz... Apostasy Blues - 4/10 The Christophers - 4/10 - A very rare Soderbergh L. Such a bore. Did not help that I couldn't understand a single word Ian McKellen was saying and that Michaela Coel was horribly miscast. The G - 4/10 Rosemead - 4/10 Teacher's Pet - 4/10 - Coming to a Tubi near you soon. Ex-Husbands - 4/10 The Unholy Trinity - 4/10 - Bland RedBox (RIP) fodder. Samuel L. Jackson surprisingly cares so that kept it from a rock-bottom score. Away with the Fairies (Short Film) - 4/10 Atom & Void (Short Film) - 4/10 Eastern Western - 3/10 Cujo (Re-Release) - 3/10 - Had not seen it before, and I can still tell you it hasn't aged well. Awful. High Rollers - 3/10 Auction - 3/10 - There aren't many things in life more pretentious than art-related French films. The Thing With Feathers - 3/10 - Man this was a rough watch. The Home - 3/10 Thank You, Places! - 3/10 - A valiant effort by a local theater group to shoot & produce a movie during the height of COVID but I could've seen anything else and been more entertained. One Big Happy Family - 3/10 Homebound - 3/10 Good American Family (TV Series) - 3/10 The Story of Three Sisters (Short Film) - 3/10 First Rites (Short Film) - 3/10 Love Hurts - 2/10 - If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Love Hurts, I would shoot Love Hurts twice. Kiss of the Spider Woman - 2/10 - I really enjoyed the 12-minute sequence of Diego Luna graphically and aggressively shitting himself (3 feet away from a toilet for some reason by the way?) while the lead character wipes it all up, that was super cool and cinematic and necessary. This movie was hot ass, in more ways than one. Extremely overhyped out of Sundance, there's one every year. Deserved flop. One of the few times a year I walk out of a movie theater angry. Nobody Wants to Shoot a Woman - 2/10 - Amateur hour. The worst Goodfellas rip-off you've ever seen. If you told me this was originally a Youtube short from 2008, I would believe you. The Verdict - 1/10 - The filmmakers should honestly be ashamed for submitting and screening this unfinished soap-opera-masquerading-as-a-film. The festival progammers should be ashamed for programming it and charging people for it. I should be ashamed for staying the entire 100 minutes. Shame all around, really. Nobody wins here. It’s like if a group of blind preschoolers decided to remake Anatomy of a Fall. Five Nights at Freddy's 2 - 0/10 - I thought Netflix’s truly-apocalyptical purchase of Warner Bros was the worst thing to happen to theatrical moviegoing in a hundred years, but then I saw Five Nights at Freddy’s 2. Theater Distribution by Venue/Chain: AMC - 103 Regal - 58 Cinemark - 7 Cineplex - 3 VIP - 3 Landmark - 2 Silverspot - 2 Independent/Festival/Other - 112 (Bill Cosford Cinema, Cinema Centre-Ville, Cinema du Musee, Cinema Paradiso, Classic Gateway, Coral Gables Art Cinema, Enzian Theater, Hall Theater, IFC Center, Lightbox Theater, Lucas Theater, Miami Theater Center, Movies of Delray, Olympia Theater, Princess of Wales, Roy Thomson Hall, Royal Alexandra, Salle J.A. DeSeve, Savor Cinema, SCAD Museum of Art, Scotiabank Theater, Tampa Theater, Trustees Theater) Theater Visits by Month: https://i.imgur.com/JxMd5Qt.jpeg January: 19 February: 11 March: 27 + 1 Re-Release (Barcelona) April: 37 + 1 TV Series (Good American Family) + 1 Re-Release (Rosemary's Baby) May: 17 June: 15 + 1 Re-Release (Brokeback Mountain) July: 24 + 6 Short Films (Atom & Void, Sounds of Glass, First Rites, The Story of Three Sisters, Love Machine, Away with the Fairies) August: 23 + 5 Re-Releases (Re-Animator, A Quiet Place, Cujo, Night of the Demons, Shin Godzilla) September: 43 + 2 Rewatches (One Battle After Another x2) October: 24 + 2 TV Series (IT: Welcome to Derry, I Love LA) + 1 Short (Rise) + 1 Release (Blood for Dracula) + 12 Re-Watches (One Battle After Another x3, Nouvelle Vague, Sinners, If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, The Testament of Ann Lee, Highest 2 Lowest, Hamnet, The Life of Chuck, Him, Twinless) November: 16 + 1 TV Series (All Her Fault) + 1 Re-Watch (Sentimental Value) December: 15 + 2 Re-Watches (Hamnet, One Battle After Another) Theater Visits by Day of the Week: https://i.imgur.com/wD0Tsx6.jpeg Monday - 16 Tuesday - 28 Wednesday - 32 Thursday - 53 Friday - 57 Saturday - 65 Sunday - 39 Notable Missed Movies: https://i.imgur.com/42reKIv.jpeg Cast/Crew/Filmmaker Q&As/Appearances: https://i.imgur.com/5kl6qWn.jpeg Favorite Performances: https://i.imgur.com/mf6Bren.jpeg Past Rankings: 2018 (162 Movies) 2019 (192 Movies) 2020 (44 Movies) 2021 (86 Movies) 2022 (270 Movies) 2023 (325 Movies) 2024 (298 movies) Please support your local movie theater. Go alone. Go with others. Buy popcorn. Sneak in snacks. Go on a Discount Tuesday. Disconnect for 2 hours and watch a movie on the biggest screen possible. Don't let corporate greed and stockholder profits destroy a hundred years of laughs, tears, and communal joy. See you at the movies in 2026 :) submitted by /u/BunyipPouch to r/movies [link] [comments]

Still breathing so far. Update: I'm pretty sure he's a boy. My original post was very short and desperate because I was freaking out. My kids mentioned are in their early 20s. One kid works as a custodian at an elementary school. School was cancelled because of the storm and when that happens, she shovels snow all day. So she was shovelling and kept hearing the kitten meow in the cold but when she tried to get him, he kept running away. She put a box out for him as well. Eventually though he just got too cold and weak to run away so she was able to pick him up and bring him inside to try to get him warm. She called me because she still had to work so I drove and got him. When I got there he was still crying a bit but wasn't moving his limbs at all. I picked him up and used a baby syringe to put a couple drops of water in his mouth and he stopped crying and stopped moving and was barely breathing. I thought he had very little chance but I took him and put him on a heated seat and blasted the heater and drove to the pet store. I really didn't think he would still be alive by the time I got to the pet store. It's a 20 minute drive normally but the roads were very bad due to the snow. I parked at the pet store and checked and saw that he was still breathing so I went in and grabbed some milk and high calorie gel. It was another 15 minutes to get home. Once I got home my other kid had just got home and wanted to make a post but we aren't very good at reddit and didn't think much about what to say. I am so happy we made a post because we got so much support and good advice. Our area has a shortage of vets and the emergency vet is incredibly expensive and I really thought he wouldn't make it. So I thought we would just be with him while he passed peacefully. We put him on a blanket on top of a heating pad. I kept dripping a bit of milk in his mouth every 30 minutes but it still was not moving and seemed frozen. I decided to turn him over to heat the other side and when I did that he did a little kitty stretch and let out a tiny meow. He still wouldn't lick or swallow. Someone asked what color his gums were and I was able to pull his lips back and then I compared them to one of our cat's gums and they were a little paler but still pink. He seemed to be getting warmer but still was not moving or licking or swallowing. Someone else suggested syrup on his gums so I did that. He immediately opened it's eyes, and opened his mouth for the first time to take a lick. He hungrily accepted a baby syringe of milk and swallowed and kept going but he still wasn't moving his legs. I was reminded of the way a human baby nurses as well. A few sucks before a swallow. It was the same with the kitten. I waited a little while and then gave him another syringe of milk and then another. Finally he started moving his legs and loafed up. I put him in a long storage bin with the heating pad and blanket on one side and filled a tray with kitty litter and put a condiment cup of milk on the other side. A half hour later he walked to the milk and drank it all down and went right back to the blanket. We went to sleep but I set alarms to keep waking up and giving him more milk in small quantities every few hours. My daughter woke me up as soon as the vet opened and we called and made an appointment, but it's not until next Wednesday. She also went to the store to buy some kitten food. I went back to sleep and she fed him a bit before leaving the house. When I woke up I checked on him and he was not in the bin. He was hiding out in the closet. I moved the bin into the closet and made some hiding places for him and put a litter box and food and water bowl in different places. He let me pick him up after another meal without trouble and I gave him a bit of a bath because he had gunk dried on his head. He also had a few burrs in his fur. I didn't notice fleas. He is running and strong and doesn't seem to have any injuries or health issues. We are keeping him away from our 5 cats and dog for now. I don't know if we will keep him. We already have 5 cats and one dog. But we will take him to the vet to get shots and at least keep him until he can be neutered. If we don't keep him we will find him a good home. The place he was found was a rural location where barn cats are common. No one has posted looking for him so far in any places I have searched. Some people asked about a name, and our family has a tradition of naming our pets after food items with similar colors. Our first cat was named Snickers and our first dog was named Twix. I really can't believe he lived through the night and am so grateful that I was able to post and ask for support. Update 2: Went to the vet this morning and got dewormer and first series of shots. He's doing very well. It was like a switch flipped yesterday and he went from being fearful to happy and approaching us all day (and night) for scratches. His name is Oatmeal. submitted by /u/Emilylikes to r/cats [link] [comments]

I almost didn’t take the job. Something about the ad felt…off. “Looking for responsible sitter. One night only. Good pay. Cash. Must follow instructions.” That was it. No details about the kid, no address, nothing about the hours. Just a burner Gmail account to reply to. I was broke enough to overlook all that. My rent was due in three days, and my fridge was down to half a jar of pickles and an expired yogurt. So I sent a message, figuring I wouldn’t get a reply. I got one back in less than an hour. “Thank you for reaching out. The job is simple. Watch our son, Matthew, from 7PM–midnight. $500 cash. Please do not let him look into mirrors. Please do not answer the door if someone knocks and claims to be us. Address attached.” I stared at the screen, rereading the message. No mirrors. Don’t open the door. Those weren’t “instructions.” Those were warnings. But again…$500. Five hundred dollars for five hours of sitting on a couch while a kid sleeps? I could ignore the creepiness for that. The house was out in the suburbs, tucked away at the end of a cul-de-sac with no streetlights. Every house on the street was dark except theirs, a faint yellow glow behind heavy curtains. The parents greeted me at the door. They looked…normal. Almost aggressively normal, like the kind of people you’d see in stock photos: mom in a cardigan, dad in khakis, both smiling too wide. “We’re so glad you could make it,” the mom said, ushering me inside. “Matthew’s upstairs, already in his room.” I nodded, clutching my backpack strap. “Any, uh, allergies? Bedtime routine?” The dad cut me off. “The instructions in the email are the most important. Don’t let him near mirrors. Don’t answer the door.” “Right,” I said, trying to sound casual. “Can I ask…why?” The mom’s smile faltered for half a second, but she recovered fast. “Just follow them. We’ll be back at midnight. Five hundred cash, like we promised.” Before I could press further, they slipped out the door. The lock clicked. The house felt wrong once they left. Too quiet. Not the cozy, suburban quiet where you can hear the hum of a fridge or a distant dog bark. This was…sterile. Like the silence in an empty hospital wing. I wandered through the downstairs. Every reflective surface was either missing or covered: the bathroom mirror gone, the TV screen draped with a sheet, even the glass in the picture frames replaced with paper. The air prickled against my skin. I checked on the kid. Matthew was sitting cross-legged on his bed, staring at me when I opened the door. He looked about eight. Blond hair, pale skin, dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days. “Hi,” I said, forcing a smile. “I’m your babysitter.” He didn’t answer. Just blinked at me slowly, then asked: “Do you know which ones are real?” My stomach dropped. “What do you mean?” “The people,” he said. His voice was flat, like he was reciting something. “Sometimes they’re not them. Sometimes they’re copies.” I laughed nervously. “That’s…uh…that’s creepy. Where’d you hear that?” He tilted his head, birdlike. “From the other Matthew.” I swallowed. “The…other Matthew?” He pointed toward the darkened window. “He comes when the glass is open.” I pulled the curtains shut tighter. The first knock came around 8:30. Three slow raps on the front door. I froze on the couch, my phone in hand. The instructions screamed in my head: Don’t answer the door. Another knock. Louder this time. “Hey,” a man’s voice called, muffled through the wood. “It’s us. We forgot something inside.” The parents. My pulse thudded in my ears. It sounded like the dad but flatter, like someone replaying a recording through a bad speaker. I crept closer, careful not to touch the knob. “We just need to come in for a second,” the voice said. Behind me, I heard movement on the stairs. Matthew was standing halfway down, clutching the railing, staring at the door with wide eyes. “That’s not them,” he whispered. The knocking stopped. The hours dragged. Every time I thought the house was quiet again, something else happened. 9:15: I heard footsteps pacing the upstairs hallway. Heavy, deliberate. Except Matthew was sitting on the floor next to me, coloring with broken crayons. 9:47: The TV, even with the sheet over it, flickered to life with static. I yanked the plug from the wall. It kept flickering for a full ten seconds before finally going black. 10:22: Another knock. This time the mom’s voice. “Please. He’s dangerous. Let us in before it’s too late.” Matthew started crying, covering his ears. I didn’t open the door. At 11:00, I heard whispering. Not from the door this time. From upstairs. I crept up, leaving Matthew on the couch with my phone flashlight. The whispers grew louder as I reached his bedroom. The door was cracked open. Inside, the moonlight from the window illuminated a figure sitting on the bed. Matthew. Except I’d left him downstairs. This Matthew looked identical but wrong, the way a wax figure almost looks real until you see the eyes. His lips moved, whispering to himself, words I couldn’t quite make out. Then he snapped his head toward me. I slammed the door shut and bolted down the stairs. The real Matthew was exactly where I’d left him. He looked up at me with tears streaking his face. “You saw him,” he said. I didn’t answer. 11:40. The knocking came again. Both voices this time, the mom and dad in perfect unison: “LET US IN.” The door rattled like they were trying to break it down. Matthew was shaking, curled against me on the couch. “Don’t,” he begged. “If you let them in, they’ll take you instead.” The pounding grew violent, wood splintering. I dragged Matthew with me into the kitchen, searching for a back exit. That’s when I noticed the one uncovered reflective surface left in the house: the oven door. And in it, I saw myself. Except my reflection wasn’t moving the same way I was. I staggered back, nearly dropping Matthew. The other me smiled, wide and wrong, teeth too many for a human mouth. The reflection pressed its palm against the glass from the inside. A hairline crack snaked across the oven door. Midnight couldn’t come fast enough. I huddled in the kitchen with Matthew, the pounding from the front door shaking the walls, the whispering upstairs turning into full-on giggles, and my reflection grinning from the oven, cracks spiderwebbing wider with every second. I thought I was going to break. Then the noise stopped. All at once. The clock on the microwave blinked 12:00 AM. The front door swung open. The parents walked in, smiling, normal again. “You did well,” the mom said. She handed me an envelope of cash. My hands shook as I took it. “What the hell is wrong with this house? With him?” I pointed at Matthew, who clung to my leg. The dad crouched down, prying the boy off me. “He’s not our son,” he said simply. My mouth went dry. “What?” “We lost Matthew years ago,” the mom said. “But things still come through. Things that look like him. Things that look like us. We can’t get rid of them, only contain them.” They each took one of Matthew’s hands. He didn’t fight. Just looked back at me with hollow eyes. “You did your job,” the dad said. “You kept him from escaping. That’s all we needed.” And before I could say a word, they led him upstairs. The door slammed shut behind them. I stumbled outside, clutching the envelope, the night air biting my lungs. When I got home, I dumped the cash onto my kitchen table. Every bill was crisp, perfect. Except when I flipped them over, the faces weren’t of presidents. They were of me. Smiling. Too wide. With too many teeth. submitted by /u/salty_Astronaut77 to r/stories [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/No_Research_8672 who posted to r/JustEngaged & r/Waiting_To_Wed Original Post Aug 27th, 2025 Hi everyone. I’m just looking for honest advice, especially from women who’ve been in long-term relationships and reached this point of “what now?” My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six years — our anniversary is tomorrow, and I’m starting to feel incredibly anxious. I’m 31 (turning 32 this year), and he’s about to turn 29. We’ve had some big life shifts over the years — not necessarily “ups and downs,” but changes that have impacted where we are now. Last year on our 5-year anniversary, he did acknowledge the day — he brought home some flowers and a card, but it was toward the evening. It didn’t feel personal or intentional. When I asked him why he didn’t really plan anything, he said that he felt it would be embarrassing to celebrate being a “five-year girlfriend.” His words, not mine. He said he only wanted to celebrate with a proposal — that he didn’t want to go all out for an anniversary if it wasn’t going to include that. But shortly after, I found out he had just been laid off from his job around that same time. A few weeks later, we moved out of the apartment we’d been living in together for three years and moved back in with our parents — separately — with a plan to save money and move our life forward. That was a year ago. We’ve now both been at home for a year, and we’ve talked a lot about our future — marriage, kids, homeownership. All of it. And here’s the part that’s bothering me now: a few months ago in July, my dad happened to see him as he was arriving at my house. They spoke briefly, and my dad asked him (in a respectful, non-pressuring way), “You’ve been around a long time — when are you planning to propose to my daughter?” My boyfriend told him confidently, “Before the end of next month.” Meaning before the end of August. My dad is usually chill and doesn’t get into stuff like this but he just decided to ask him. We’re now at the end of August. Our anniversary is tomorrow (Friday). And August ends this Sunday. And I haven’t seen or heard anything that suggests he’s actually planning to follow through. He hasn’t mentioned a dinner reservation. No hints, no “dress nice,” no “don’t make plans.” Just regular daily interaction. And I’ve been intentionally avoiding dropping hints because I want the proposal to feel real and special — not like something I poked or pressured him into. This morning, I tested the waters and sent him a link to an art walk event happening this weekend in Destin, about two hours away from us. I framed it as something I was interested in doing — didn’t mention proposals or anything like that. He replied enthusiastically and even said he could get us an Airbnb from Saturday through Monday so we can make a weekend of it. And while that might sound like initiative… it’s making me feel uneasy. Because to me, that confirms he didn’t have any actual plans already in place. If he did, he would’ve had to decline or rework the weekend — not just say “yeah, let’s go!” and suggest a spontaneous trip. This has happened before. On Valentine’s Day earlier this year, he said he had something special planned — and when I found out what it was, it was tickets to Universal Studios and Disney World. A big gesture, sure. But what I really wanted was progress. The proposal. Not just another trip or experience to distract from what really matters to me. To be clear, he’s told me recently that his savings are looking really good. That’s stuck with me. If finances are in order, and the relationship is steady, what’s the holdup? I’ve already made up my mind that I won’t accept a proposal that comes after September 1st — not because I’m trying to give an ultimatum, but because it simply won’t feel special anymore. It would feel late. Like I had to wait him into it, and I can’t accept that. I’m at a point in life where I want to build something — a home, a family, a future. And I can’t keep dragging my heart through these kinds of “almost” moments just to keep the peace. So I’m asking: Am I being unreasonable? Would you wait past the deadline he set for himself? Or would you take his inaction as the answer? Update Aug 28th, 2025 Hey, I know some of y’all were asking for an update from my previous post but it was locked by the mods. I’ll link the original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/JustEngaged/s/qFun1EfT86 I’m getting ready for dinner as I type this, but honestly… a part of me feels like I’m not going to be proposed to tonight. And that’s a hard pill to swallow. In the last post, I mentioned that he told me, verbatim, that I would not be his girlfriend by our next anniversary. He said he would “a thousand percent” be proposing by then. And he told my dad the same thing. So this wasn’t something I imagined or hinted about. It came directly from him. Now fast forward to today: He sent me a sweet good morning text, booked me a massage for 5PM, and made dinner reservations at one of our favorite restaurants for 8:30PM. But the restaurant closes at 9PM. That already raised an eyebrow for me. I asked him if he meant 7:30 instead, and he just said, “Nah, but I can move it up earlier if you want.” That response, and the fact that he only called the restaurant earlier today, made things feel more casual than I expected. I guess I’m just sitting here asking myself: Would it be unreasonable for me to leave him if he doesn’t propose tonight? Yes, there are a few days left in August… but if you tell someone you’re going to do something by a certain date, and they plan their heart around that timeline, are they wrong for walking away when it doesn’t happen? I’m trying not to spiral. I know there’s still a dinner to go to. But deep down, I’m preparing myself to be let down, and trying to figure out what comes next if I am. Update: He handed me a David Yurman bracelet that I’ve been wanting for months now. He’s being pretty quiet at dinner. ⸻ UPDATE A few of you asked for an update, so here it is. Our anniversary was yesterday. He planned a dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, and earlier in the day, he told me he had booked a massage for me and that we had 8:30 reservations. When he got to my house, he had a big bouquet of flowers and the David Yurman bracelet I’d been wanting. But the way he gave it to me felt strange. It was off. He didn’t look me in the eye, he just passed the bag to me quickly before heading to the bathroom to change. I said thank you, but a part of me knew in that moment, when he gave me that expensive bracelet like that, that I wouldn’t be getting a proposal that night. He kept telling me I looked beautiful and amazing, and that he liked the color I was wearing. I’d put effort into looking good for our anniversary, and I know I looked good. But when I looked at him, there was a sadness or disappointment in his eyes. Something felt off. I think he was picking up on how quiet I had gotten after he gave me the bracelet. When we got to the restaurant, he tried making small talk, but I wasn’t really going. I was just mirroring his energy because something in me could tell he wasn’t fully present. Eventually, I asked him why he was so quiet, and I brought up the bracelet. He immediately defended himself, saying he was just on his way to change clothes and didn’t mean anything by how he gave it to me. I told him it just didn’t feel special. Then I asked him directly: “Are you proposing tonight?” He looked disappointed and said, “No.” That’s when I told him to cancel the food order because I was ready to leave, and I got up and walked out. When we got in the car, I told him I felt like this was over. I said if I stayed, I’d just be wasting more time. I asked when he planned to propose, and he started fumbling over his words and said something like “maybe in the next two to three weeks.” I told him he had until today, and that was it for me. The car ride home was quiet. When we got close to the house, I didn’t say much. I got out and went inside. A few minutes later, I noticed he had turned his location off. I texted him shortly after and told him to come get the dog and his things. He came back, picked everything up, and we ended up having one final conversation before he left. I told him flat out I’m getting older, I’m in my early 30s, and I’ve been clear that I’m ready to move forward with my life. He gave me his word, and he even gave my father his word that he would propose by the end of this month. Now all of a sudden, when I ask directly, he tells me “probably in the next two to three weeks.” I asked him what difference a few weeks would even make. He said I was wrong to assume he doesn’t want to marry me or that he doesn’t love me. He said that he loves me more than he loves himself. He said he hates that it looks like he doesn’t want to marry me because that’s not the case. And then he brought up something that caught me off guard. He said years ago, I mentioned that one of my cousins got proposed to with a $10,000 ring, and ever since then, he thought that was what I expected and felt like that’s honestly what I deserve after waiting so long. I had only mentioned the price of the ring to say how over-the-top it was, not to encourage him. I’ve always told him I don’t need a ring that expensive, and he knows that. I’m not materialistic like that. I told him I’m not falling for that excuse. I never asked for a $10,000 ring, and he knows that. What I was really thinking is, yes, we hit some financial struggles last year. He lost his job for a month, we moved back in with our parents, and we’ve been living there ever since. Our plan was to move out this year. I’ve been patient. But none of that changes the fact that he’s had time to plan, time to save since we live at home with our parents and he hasn’t. Before he left, I’ll admit I was really upset. I called him a liar. And when I did, he said something like, “If that’s what you think of me, then let’s just both be done because there’s nothing I can say at this point.” And then I told him to leave. Since then, he hasn’t reached out. It’s been 12 hours and I haven’t heard a word from him. I’m pretty sure he’s already deleted all of my pictures. I turned my location off too. So now I’m just… here. Sitting with it. I lost my mom to cancer last year. My dad is getting older. And no, I’m not trying to live for my parents. But it hurts deeply knowing my mom will never get to see me get married or have kids. I spent six years with this man. Six years of my life. And now it’s just done. I booked an appointment with my old therapist. I haven’t seen her in almost a year, but I need help working through this. Right now, I just feel numb. Please be nice to me because I am shattered. I am not the original poster. Please dont contact or comment on linked posts. submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

am not OP. That is u/Brave-Company2867 who posted to r/MarkNarrations TW: entitlement, harassment/bullying, distressing materials, Trespassing, sexual intimidation, and domestic violence Original Post June 24th, 2025 I (33F) bought my home right before the pandemic. The world shut down and I shut into my remote work with the solitude and comfort of a natural introvert. The house was extra large and I only really could afford it because the family selling was in need of a quick sell. The house has a finished attic and basement, which were easily converted into not-so-mini apartments. The basement has its own entry point and also connects into the main house. There are four bedrooms, two baths and the master room has a walk in closet. During the pandemic, my sister both were hit hard and quickly needed to downsize as their own roommates moved back home. My sisters (25F and 27F) and I do not have such a luxury so I offered them rooms at below market rate and told them they needed to supply their own food. The rent was really to help with increase in bills. They were both still in school at the time but also working. This arrangement gave them more breathing room financially. Then, a girl they both knew was evicted from her home with her bf because the family they rented from needed the home back. I offered the basement at near-market rate, though still a little under as I felt bad and it is a basement apartment. After that, a friend of a friend heard about my arrangement and asked if there was any room left. I gave him the attic apartment for another near-market rent. Rental agreements were drafted up for each person. I explained the basic rules, the rent, and how long they would have if rent was not received. I told them to read it and return it to me when signed. I left them each with their own copy. I collect the rent the first Saturday of the month. They leave the name blank on the checks for me to fill out and I always thought it was because they were afraid of misspelling my stupidly unique name and having the check bounce as a result. Apparently not. The issue: I still have one "free" room in the main part of the house but I use it as my office and it locks up. My friend knows my sisters and they got to chatting up while out together, they bumped into each other during a day out. My sisters mentioned the "extra room" and my friend has a cousin (18F) who will be starting college in our city and asked if "my landlord" would rent it out to her. I brushed over the comment because I thought there was miscommunication and told her the room wasn't for rent as I use it for my at home office. She asked if I was paying for the room and I told her, "Why would I pay for a room in a house I own?" She got a little quiet, apologized for pushing and told me the struggle its been to find a spot for her cousin. I told her all of my tenants are solid until December when renewals go out. I can offer her a spot if someone moves but I stressed it was unlikely as everyone gets along, stays out of each others business, and it works well for them. We dropped the topic. A few days ago my sisters asked me how the talk went and I said it was ok, but her cousin won't be moving in. They asked why and I explained to them the situation above. They suggested I move my office to my bedroom or the main room and "stop paying rent for an extra room to save costs". When I asked what they meant, they said "well you do pay rent for the extra space right?" No. I then asked if they knew I was the landlord and they were floored. They never actually read the agreements they have been signing. They went off on me about how I should have told them and that they shouldn't have to be paying rent to family. I told them the rent was to cover their increase in bills. I wasn't going to house them for free when they made enough to cover a fair share on a shared expense. If they would rather full market rent on the rooms they were currently in, I could arrange that come renewal. By now they could afford it with their jobs and having saved money on rent for 5 years. They called me an asshole for holding rent above their heads. This then leaked to the tenants as they talked about the issue to their friends in the basement. While their rent is more than just for bills, it is not the market rent value I could get out of the space despite them each having income and no family to support. They came to me to ask that I LOWER the rent, as if being friends with my sisters was reason enough as I was the landlord and not "somebody they didn't actually know". The deal they had no longer seems in their favor, apparently. I told them they had until December to decide if they wanted a renewal because it was not going to be lowered. They are now acting like I am kicking them out, when all I said was now that they fully understand their position they needed to make a choice to stay as with current costs and annual adjustments as needed as was our agreement or begin the process of looking as rent prices have skyrocketed and its much harder to find a place. The adjustments do not include "knowing I am the landlord". My attic tenant asked if I was "cleaning house" and basically begged I don't kick him out. His family turned their back on him because of....conflicting views. Personally, his views don't bother me. His family's though. Eesh. I explained it all in detail and he was like, wait I always knew you were my landlord because its in the rental agreement. But he also never put my name down because "its hard to spell". Now everyone is upset with me and I feel unwelcomed in my own home. AITA? WIBTA if I didn't renew one or all of their leases because of this hostility I feel? Edit: word Quick Edit since I keep seeing a similar question: Our lives have been a mess of social services and foster care as children, all aging out at 18. I didn't go out of my way to tell them about my buying a house, partly out of guilt, and they came to me for leads on places to live in a time of need. The guilt comes from not taking them in when I had the opportunity at 18. I would have had to jump through massive loops and I did not feel prepared to care for myself, let another a couple of kids I hardly knew since we had been separated often. We reconnected when they aged out and built from there. We also do not share the same last names as we each have different fathers. Update June 27th, 2025 AITA for not telling my roommates and sisters I am the owner? Update Hello everyone. I wanted to thank everybody for taking the time to read my last post and offer up their advice, comments, thoughts, and judgment. I took some of the advice given and have taken the "don't rent to family or friends again" to heart. So I'm going to jump into the update. I'm going to try to break it down bit by bit before going into it all. Mr. Attic - I'm keeping him. I pulled him aside first and separately. I told him I would not be renewing the others' leases in December and asked if he would want to rent the basement for at market value. He turned it down, asking to keep the attic as he is comfortable there. I told him it would probably be in his best interest to let the others believe this is a whole house clean out so he doesn't get caught in the cross fire. He agreed and went out of his way to turn his social media to private. He also sent me screenshots of a group chat he had been added to. The group chat - My sisters and other pair of tenants started up a group chat to bitch about me being so uncompromising and greedy. They were coming up with ideas to not pay rent or to only pay in part. The basement tenants "joked" about one of them "losing" their jobs so they could ask for leniency since I was too "stuck up to be kind" to them about the rent. The harassment - My sisters and Mr/s Basement had told their friends (and the families of Mr/s Basement) about the rent, the "lies", and my "inability to consider outside perspective and need". I've had a steady stream of calls, DMs, texts, and posts directed at me since before I made my last post, which is what prompted me to post. I made my accounts private, disabled some of the messaging functions, and told the four of them to get this to stop before I got my lawyer involved. Spoiler: they didn't. So after taking a night to think about it, I brought the group together to have a discussion about the rent and situation. My sisters looked smug and Mr/s Basement kept sharing knowing looks. I told them bluntly I was not going to renew leases in December because their actions, attitudes, and lack of consideration has made me feel unvalued, humiliated by their family, and unwelcome in my own home. I told them if they found an apartment or place to go before December, I wouldn't charge them for breaking the lease but if there was ANY damage anywhere, they would not get their security deposits back until the pricing out was settled. If there was more damage than their security deposit, they would be taken to court. I told them I was done being kind and understanding to people who thought so lowly of me. I also warned them I could and would break the leases myself if I felt the need, in which case they would have 30 days. It was immediate chaos. A lot of yelling, insults, and cursing. Even Mr. Attic, but he was yelling at the others for "getting him kicked out when he didn't do anything". He made an epic show of storming up to the attic and slamming the door. He sent me laughing emojis and texted that he wasn't going to be able to keep a straight face a little later. I waited for them to stop yelling and when they demanded what they would do, I set a stack of ads for apartments and houses for rent in the nearby area and said they would have to start looking now. I told my sisters I would help pay for their moving truck but told the basement tenants they would have to ask their families for help moving out. Mr. Basement picked up the stack of papers and his eyes went wide. He stared at me and asked if I was fucking serious. I told him the prices listed were not mine to judge, change, or deal with. I reminded him his current place was below market because I had a say in it. Market prices for one bedrooms in the area are well over 1500$ a month, if he wants near his work and close enough to walk to stores and things. He currently has a two bedroom for less than that. My sisters grabbed some of the papers and the 27 year old started crying because she couldn't afford an apartment on her own. She told me about her student loans and credit card debt. I told her, Too bad. I gave you a good deal out of kindness and you sent an army after me. I would have considered letting you stay if you hadn't been so nasty. I told all of them they could probably swing a two bedroom between the four of them and got up and left. They refuse to talk to me now. My sisters spent the night in the basement apartment and I could hear shrieks and crying if I walked by the door that leads down there. I feel a little bad but I reread your comments to keep my sanity. As for if I want them out, I can give them 30 days notice since they are inside my own home. I checked and double checked with the lawyer and this information had been in their rental contracts. If I do have to kick them, and they try to refuse to leave and drag it out in court (which they don't have the money for) I have been given some handy advice by a fellow landlord who had to remove his own brother. I can't remove them by force but I can make "living" there entirely uncomfortable. Nothing stops me from taking doors off hinges or starting remodeling while their stuff is in the way. Nothing stops me from turning off the water or electric for their sections of the house during remodeling. (Quick edit: JUST for remodeling purposes. It wouldn't be done to make them leave. But they can't stop my remodeling as squatters.) It might seem like an asshole thing to do, but they would be the ones to start it and I actually do want to repaint and do some adjustments. The reason I am leaning on evicting them by August is because the harassment has gotten so much worse now that there is an actual non-renewal happening. I'm leaving my phone on silent and collecting messages, voicemails, emails, and other things to hand off to my lawyer next week. I told them to call off their dogs and they haven't. I asked Mr. Attic if he knew anyone who would need a place and to let me know. He has a few friends from his community who seem interested, as they either live with roommates or family and want out. If anyone has any questions this quiet morning, I will try to answer them. Quick Edit: I have cameras outside and in common rooms - facing the front and back doors, the hallways upstairs and the door leading to the basement. The tenants have access to the entry point ones like Mr Attic has the hallway to his area, Mr/s Basement have the feed that leads to their door inside the main house and they all have outside camera access. I'm thinking of cutting access to the outside cameras for them. They can't do anything to the feeds as they are guests in the system (so they can't delete anything) and my access automatically saves on extra external systems. I might just cut them all out of the system except Mr. Attic for piece of mind. Also, I keep seeing people ask about our family. There are no parents and no family from our side. My sisters have no relationships with their fathers or their families, mine had been killed due to his own actions (there is no sympathy for the likes of him) and his family shunned him so they shunned me as well, and our mother is a cup of ash left at the funeral home. Update 2 July 2nd, 2025 AITA for not telling my roommates and sisters I am the owner? Update 2 Hey everyone. I'm very tired. Thank you all for your kind words and wonderful advice. Onto the update. Mr. Attic's friends - Two have agreed to take the bedrooms my sisters are currently occupying when they move out. I've met them, we talked at length, and they are wonderful people. One helped me change the tire on my car because I ended up with a flat just after our meeting and she was incredibly kind and showed me how to change it. Like she walked me through it step by step, letting me do it but just explaining how. I can't believe I've never changed a tire before. Weirdly embarrassing. The harassment and lawyer - The lawyer sent a cease and desist to everyone that had contacted me. Then, he went on and filed for restraining orders/orders of protection and a claim for slander/defamations. There were many posts with me tagged or with my name claiming I was an unfit landlord, a slum lord, a greedy bitch, a homewrecker (because I apparently came onto MR. Basement - haha, so funny because he is fugly and you couldn't pay me to touch that) and more. These things take time but there was an almost immediate drop off of calls, messages, ect. Mr/s Basement - Have been served their notice. They helped spread lies and deception. They have ceased all communication with me but they only have 30 days and I have post it notes on their porch reminding them every day how long they have. I've seen them starting to take smaller things out today, which is what prompted this update. Mrs. Basement can be heard crying a lot if I stand by the top of the stairs. I think they might be moving back in with family, which is what they had been avoiding by moving into my basement. Her mother is toxic, her father has a new wife who hates her, and Mr. Basement's family dislikes her enough to outright ignore her or tell it to her face that she isn't family, especially because she "won't" give her bf a family. Spoiler: she can't have kids due to medical stuff. And they aren't even married. Group chat- I have screenshots of their group chat (curtesy of Mr. Attic) and there is a lot of evidence of them feeding lies to others, talking all about how they told this person this, or that person that. Mr. Basement made the claim I came onto him, and his girlfriend went nuts. I think she doesn't know he lied about it, just to make it more believable to others. When he first made the claim, she blew up my phone and social media before dragging it to others. My sisters "weren't surprised by my behavior". That....stung. I have never done anything like that in the past. My sisters- They also have their notices. The 25 year old is already moving in with a couple of friends who think I am horse shit. They come every so often to help her move things and they send me nasty looks or make loud, intentional comments for me to hear. She has been dumping my food into the trash and dumping it down the sink. I just got a minifridge for my room and she spends night screaming at my locked door. I take my work to a local cafe (rather, multiple ones) or library now because she will just shriek any time she thinks I'm working. I make it vary and don't go to the same place twice in a row. The 27 year old has turned to begging for me to let her stay as she can't afford to live on her own and she has no one willing to take her. Her boy toy (didn't even know she had one) broke up with her when he got the cease and desist from the lawyer. He was one of the ones causing problems but once the lawyer stepped in to bat, he bounced. According to Mr. Attic, he heard her telling someone something along the lines of he could move in if he helped her get me to leave or back down because "its family property". She had been taking a call outside and I caught the proof on camera because he told when and where to look for it. Quick Edit: My sisters are not moving in together because they each blame each other. They also blame the basement tenants while they blame my sisters. They all collectively blame me as well since I'm just pure evil but they think each of them pushed me to do it. Cameras- Only Mr. Attic still has access. The cameras were not part of the rental agreement and everyone lost their damn minds when I took away the access. They tried covering them or adjusting them but I warned them they would be held liable for damage and anything else I could get if they did that again. Now, I get middle fingers and aggressive stances and stares into the cameras. I'm sure I'm missing things. I just can't sleep and I'm swamped with getting them out, with work, and with trying to fill their places, and getting the basement redone before going back on the market. Update 3 July 7th, 2025 AITA for not telling my roommates and sisters I am the owner? Update 3 I really wasn't going to update again so soon. I was planning to wait til move out date or the few days following depending on how it all went but days ago a big thing happened and I just don't know how to feel about it. Also, I wanted to address a few common questions and concerns I got in comments and DMs. (If I haven't answered a DM, I am sorry. I wasn't expecting so many.) Sorry if this is long. Questions first: Is Mr. Attic still putting on his dramatic performance? : Absolutely. He has been bringing in boxes and leaving with boxes. The boxes are full of things he is donating or selling, or just empty. He is using this time as an excuse to declutter and redesign his space. I told him if he wanted to pick out new colors while I am redoing the basement to do it. He complains at my sisters in the kitchen or shared spaces when they try to talk to him about his plans, telling them he wouldn't have to make plans if it wasn't for them. Why not move into the basement and rent the house as a whole (possibly to a family)? : Children freak me out. (Kidding.) I have a pool and them being left unattended to drown is a big worry for me. I let the pool be communal. Children are naturally loud (stomping, slamming things, shrieking or laughing) and don't fully understand the concept of others and how they act infringing on their peace or the quiet. I work from home so I can't have that kind of noise above my head during meetings, or keeping me from sleeping. I also know from past experience that children are more destructive than pets (most times). I don't want crayon or marker on the walls, holes made from throwing toys, broken doors, or other things I've seen kids do during my time in the system. You leave a kid alone for a minute and they find all sorts of trouble. Did I get my restraining orders? : Not yet. I'm still collecting evidence for them. I've been collecting videos of the 25 year old screaming and the layers of harassment they caused. I also am elbows deep in an emergency one now. Call the police on the screaming : I've been advised by my lawyer to collect as many videos as I feel safe enough to do so first. Show a history, show a cause for concern. I will probably call sometime this week if she keeps it up but she has had a reason to stay very quiet. Change the locks when they leave: Every door is getting new locks, even Mr. Attic's. Charge the sisters for coffee and things: They supply their own food. They supply their own needs. My food has been moved into my room, thanks to the minifridge. Be careful they don't run up the bills: My sisters each pay equal parts of each bill in the main house. The tenants are responsible for their water and electric. If they run the bills up, they are responsible for them. The rent covers trash, wifi (no cable), heat. Onto the update. A comment mentioned that the flat tire I had might have been intentional. This left me very uneasy and I went to a friend to have it checked. He confirmed it has been slashed. I let him do a full body look over the car and he found an air tag in the bumper. We haven't figured out where it came from yet- or rather, who. He said that was outside his wheelhouse and I didn't want to keep it with me so I took it to my lawyer, who took it to the cops. I'm waiting to hear back. My 27 year old sister has been incredibly wired since it was taken to the cops, in my opinion. She has been constantly asking where I am going, what I am doing, who I am seeing. She didn't do that before. She has been trying to stalk my social media but I blocked her and a bunch of others. I know this because she keeps asking why I blocked her. She is demanding I unblock her because we are family and there shouldn't be any secrets. She also keeps pestering to know if I found their replacements yet, begging to stay, and demanding I apologize to her ex because I "terrified him with the lawyer". I am looking through my footage but I can't find anyone tampering with my car so I think the air tag was put on while the car was away from the house because whoever did it knew there were cameras facing the cars. The 25 year old started leaving big messes in the kitchen/ common rooms. She would leave dishes out overnight and a few days instead of cleaning up after herself and using the dish washer. She left clothes on the furniture and her muddy shoes in the hallway to trip people at the bottom of the stairs. I took pictures of the messes and reminded her that if I had to clean up her mess when she was gone, it would come out of her security deposit. When she cleaned the dishes, I took them all to my room. I did not supply dishes in the rental contract. Both of them are upset with me because they are back to living on paper plates. Onto the incident: Mr/s Basement do not have keys to the main house. He also didn't have cameras access to the main house except the door that connects the basement and hallway. I came home from my working day, spent at the library, to find Mr. Basement inside the main house. Alone. My sisters were still at work (I worked a half day) and Mr. Attic had left earlier that morning for a weekend get away - but he had told the others he was traveling to see a new apartment the next city over. Immediately on the edge, I called my friend and she stayed on the line while rushing over. I demanded to know what he was doing in the main house and how he got in. I had left after my sisters so I KNOW the house was locked up. He wanted to talk. He refused to answer how he got in. I figured it was a key from my sisters. He kept trying to get me to sit, to step away from the door. Eventually, he started telling me what I already knew about them moving in with family. How her family was terrible, how his family hated her, and he wanted to do anything he could to get an extension so they could focus on getting an actual apartment. When he said "anything he meant Anything" and as he said that, he stepped closer. He started to ramble about how he knew about "the way I looked at him" and he could "give me a good time". He talked about how "she didn't need to know of our time together" and "he knew I was lonely". While its true I have been single longer than I've known him, the single lifestyle has been entirely my own choice. Simply put, childhood trauma. I'm content with how I handle my life. I told him in no uncertain terms that what he was suggesting was exploitative, manipulative and downright disgusting. If he ever caught me staring, it was because of the weird 8 dot tattoo on his shoulder that I could never figure out the meaning behind. I like tattoos, I have a few myself, and I like figuring out the meanings. In no way do I find him attractive or appealing. In fact, he has the kind of red flags I would avoid in a man. I told him besides his looks, there are reasons I would never date him but I refused to list them for him. List (you can skip): He smokes, he vapes, he lights up Mary Jane. He hates animals. He wants a "brood" of children. He gets loud when he is mad, and will curse a person out over little things. He is jealous of others, men specifically. An example: He failed at being a gym bro so now men who work out are "compensating for something". He knows everything. He got angry and told me I "wasn't pretty enough to play hard to get" and that I was "lucky he was willing to help me out and maybe even give me a real reason to have such a big house". I think he was implying children. But as he was getting really nasty about it, my friend pulled up and honked loudly and for a long time. I took that distraction to get out and he followed, yelling about how it was a good deal and how I would regret being "old and alone". Minutes later, the cops rolled up. I hadn't called them, hadn't even thought to. My friend told her boss to as she left to come get me. I explained my side to the police, showed them the inside footage, and told them about his unauthorized access. They took back the key he had and trespassed him from the main part of the house. I forwarded everything to the lawyer and we should have an emergency protection order by tomorrow. I told Mr. Attic everything and he sent a small army from his community to his apartment and let me and them stay up in the apartment the last few days. I think I've been adopted? I had nowhere else to go. I have nowhere else to go. I am my only support. Or, I was. I now have these wonderful people as friends and they are willing to stay as long as Mr. Basement has access to the basement. Even after, if need be. But also, by not leaving I give the appearance I do not have the means to live in a hotel for the remainder of the month. (Who would?) I did the petty thing. I sent the video footage to Mrs. Basement. Its been radio silence from her, but she left me on read. I am shaken deeply from this. I am waiting anxiously to be told I have the emergency protection. But I have lovely people ready to toss him out if he manages to get back inside. I can't change the locks yet and even if I do, I can't guarantee my so-called sisters won't give him another copy. I changed the locks to my rooms and added extra. To be clear: because of the small army, my 25 year old sister hasn't been able to scream at odd hours. Any advice would be so appreciated. Update 4 July 11th, 2025 AITA for not telling my roommates and sisters I am the owner? Update 4 (+ The story of Mr. Attic) Hello everyone. I wanted to again thank everyone for their kind words, support, ideas and help. I cannot tell you how much your words and concern have meant, and how much the support has helped me keep strong and not back down. There have been times when I have wanted to crumble under the weight of all this stress but reading your comments has really helped me hang on. I wanted to update because so many seemed worried in my last post. I'm still here. The protection orders: I have one against Mr. Basement and he is officially not allowed to be on my property or contact me in any way, including through others like Mrs. Basement. I was unable to get one against my 25 year old sister because there hasn't been a threat of violence, even with police documentation of her screaming and the home security footage of her banging on the door. The move out date: July 26th (edited, my bad) Mrs. Basement: At first she tried to tell me she needed his help to pack and move things, and I had to repeatedly tell her he was not allowed on the property for any reason. I made it clear if I even so much as thought he was on the property, I would call the police to investigate. And I have done so. As of last night, Mr. Basement was arrested for ignoring the court ordered protection. He was in the basement helping pack at like 1AM. My new motion detectors in the back yard went off and sent me an alert. He had tried to sneak around the camera he knew was back there. But I have since upgraded and installed new hidden cameras. I was called an asshole for not informing them of the new cameras. Mrs. Basement is convinced I had seduced him and its my fault because I led him on. She yelled at me for trying to "take her man" and called me a lot of nasty things. She told me he only "offered" to do anything because they didn't want to move back in with family. It "was a sacrifice to keep her safe". There's no talking her down from that hill to die on so I have been keeping my distance. She has had a lot of "help" from family now and mostly, if I am home, I hear her family belittling her or her boyfriend's family scolding her. They think its her fault he tried to cheat and her fault they lost the apartment. They are not worried about staying quiet or calm because they are moving out anyway. 25 Year old sister: She only has a few big items left and has been mostlysleeping at her new place since it became apparent that I was going to have a rotating door of people staying with me. If she would try to leave a mess in the kitchen, she was met with judgmental stares. When she tried to take my TV in the living room while I was gone, Mr. Attic and a friend blocked her from leaving and called the cops. Its a newer smart TV. I had given Mr. Attic access to the other cameras until everyone was gone because I was worried for his and his friend's safety. She still curses me out when we manage to cross paths. She tried to cancel my internet and put "return to sender" on some mail that came in my name. The internet company has a special code for each account and she couldn't provide the code so they called me. My mail lady was confused and asked me about the mail, asking if I needed a forwarding address because I was moving. I'm going to get a lock box things for packages now. 27 Year old sister: I don't think she is looking for apartments. She keeps crying to me that she has nowhere to go. She tried to change the lock to her bedroom but I shut that down. I think she will try again. She has been bringing some guy around a lot but refuses to make introductions. He stays in her room mostly, only leaving to use the bathroom or watch her microwave ramen and eggs. He won't look anyone in the face and rolls his eyes when people try to talk to him. I'm worried this will turn into a squatter matter so I am working with my lawyer to have everything ready to remove him as well. Was he the boy toy from earlier?: I have no idea. I didn't know she had one and I don't know what he looked like. When I found out, it was only a name. Since she hasn't made introductions with him, I don't know who he is. Mr. Attic's blown cover: They haven't done much of anything to him since they seem to realize he was feeding me information. They blocked him. We are pretty sure they still think he has to move out too and him giving me stuff was a last ditch effort to stay. They won't even look at him anymore. The story of Mr. Attic (with his approval): Mr. Attic is the youngest of 7 (yes, that is right) kids. There would have 10 had there been proper medical care. His parents are heavily involved with their church and do not believe in a lot of things: modern medicine, birth control, non-traditional gender roles, ect. At this point, I'm pretty sure you can see where this is going. At 16, Mr. Attic was exposed to the outside world for the first time. Up until that point, he had been homeschooled and only knew people from his religious community. He started to sneak out to learn more. By 18, he had his childhood vaccines and a career picked out. When he told his family he wanted to learn medicine they tried to get him to "intern" with their family care people from the church. He perused real medicine and started classes to become a nurse. They were heavily resistant and hard to handle about it, but still talking to him. Mostly to try to force him back into the fold. He still lived at home so it was a constant battlefield. He began sleeping in his car on campus. But then he met a guy and his perspective on a lot more changed. They talked, they laughed, they danced. His family found out and went through the roof. They kicked him out with just the clothes on his back. They burned pictures of him, and any family photo that had him was either destroyed or he was cut out of. They cut him off from all family. They tried to take the car but it was in his name. They harassed and did a lot of terrible things to the guy he had been seeing. He was unable to handle the level of nuclear crazy that was Mr. Attic's family so he put a stop to their relationship. Mr. Attic, alone and desperate because of the upcoming winter, looked everywhere to get a place to stay. He crashed on a lot of couches for evenings at a time because fall hit fast and hard. No one could take him in long term because they were living at home or had roommates. He heard about my place from a friend of a friend and turned up one evening, asking like a small child if there was any room left. He offered to take the garage even, just a bed in the corner. I set him up in the attic and helped get him more clothes and a bed. I made intentional leftovers for the first few months and didn't take any rent until he had what he needed for class and himself. The rent started as just enough to cover his bills and after he got his career, it grew a little more. When I saw him on my porch, in dirty clothes and no jacket in October, I saw myself in January of the year I was shut out of my group home with just a bag of too small clothes, shoes with holes, an old hand-me-down ipad that hardly worked, and 50$ to my name. He told me he never forgot how kind I had been to him, and how kind I had been to let him bring in short term guests who also had nowhere to go until they could get on their feet. I hadn't known the full story when he first moved in, and I never pushed him. When he brought home a non-biological woman (I'm sorry, I don't know all the correct terms) and I didn't even blink, just offered spaghetti, he knew this was his place and I was his people. I didn't ask, didn't make a fuss, and offered some clothes for her. He always wanted to try to repay me but I always seemed to never need anything. He said I was always giving. I didn't see it like that. I've been invited to a cafe and bar. Ones that usually only caters to the LGBTQ+ community, but I am going to go and meet people. He'd like me to meet more of his friends. They really are wonderful people. Update 5 July 15th, 2025 AITA for not telling my roommates and sisters I am the owner? Update 5 I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words regarding Mr. Attic's story. I was honestly a little worried putting it out there like that but am glad I did. His friends have found the posts and have been reading off some of the comments for him. He turns red sometimes and tells them to stop. Someone in the comments had the idea to make "Team Attic" shirts and his one friend came by the cafe this morning with them. We were all wearing them when he came by before work and he laughed so hard he cried. And then he really cried. I felt bad but he told me he wasn't upset - he was just so warmed by all the kindness, grace, and wonderful vibes from the people reading my posts. He feels like he has a second community at his back now. This update isn't much: just the good, the bad, and the ugly. I really can't believe this is update 5 already. The good: I have been to the cafe twice now and both times have been charming, enlightening, and wonderful. I cannot stress how kind his friends and community are. They have spent their time teaching me, helping me navigate their terminology and have been so very patient with my relentless questions. (The food is kickass and they made me a pumpkin something that I could die for) The bad: I had the 27 year old's "friend" removed by police after he refused to leave of his own accord. He hit the number of days he was allowed to stay in the lease agreement and another handful of days would make him a tenant/squatter. I think they thought I didn't know that law or had forgotten or would be cool with him hanging around. (I did call him by the boy toy's name and he answered before immediately going back to her room.) So I think she was trying to get him to stay like their plan had originally been. He had a few bags of items and a laundry basket of clothes. He is well aware that I will call the police again if he shows up. She has not packed up a single thing. The ugly x3: My 25 year old sister is trying to sue me for "withholding inheritance". I don't know if she has a real lawyer, if its a cracker doing pro bono, or if its just an attempt to scare me into giving her money. I'm taking it to my lawyer in the next few days. Edit: I think she means my house. I never received anything from my parents - and my dad is not her dad so even if I had, she might not have been entitled to it. The police have not yet told me anything about the tracker found in my car. Mrs. Basement is trying to hide a bruise with some shoddy make up and big sunglasses. I can't say I know what caused the bruise, but I think we all have similar thoughts on the matter. She immediately goes inside anytime she sees me. Like, girl, I see you. Not a super big update or moving forward, but it feels nice to be able to type it all out. I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hey all. This will be a bit of a long one, and not a happy one. I wasn't sure if I should tag this as "adoption," or "mourning/loss." I went with the former, because this wonderful cat is thankfully alive and well, and I didn't die either, lol. TL;DR at the bottom. Some backstory: I live in a house with two roommates, one with a dog, and another with a cat. We'll call the one with the cat J. At the end of this summer, we will all be moving out to separate places. No animosity, no drama, but we're all at different points in our lives. One issue: J's cat absolutely loves me, and I feel the exact same way about her. If J isn't home, then the cat is probably hanging out with me. Whenever J goes out of town, I get to watch the cat. It's going to be hard to live without a little friend like that to keep me company, and J has encouraged me to adopt a cat of my own. About a month ago, I was doing my usual Sunday evening routine, sitting out on the front porch, taking in the summer air, drinking a beer, and reading, when I heard what sounded like a kitten mewing close by. I saw a cat across the street, but the meows didn't match her size (there are quite a few outdoor, stray, and feral cats in our neighborhood). I went inside and told J that I thought there was a kitten outside, and she immediately wanted to find and catch it. About ten minutes of searching later, we had him located, but he was skittish, and didn't want to let us catch him. We eventually cornered him, and J pretty much ended up diving into a bush to grab him. Once we had him caught, we could see that he was pretty young, small, dirty, and had an injured tail. He meowed at us a lot, and bit J on the hand, but we wrapped him in a towel and gave him a Churu, and that calmed him down a lot. After that, it didn't take long for him to lower his guard and let us pet him and hang out with him. I sat with him for a a while, and he climbed into my lap, made biscuits, and started to purr while I pet him. In less than an hour, he had gone from running, hiding, hissing, and biting, to the sweetest little ball of black and white fur. J told me that I might've found my cat. We got him fixed up for the night with a litter box, and J made a run to get him wet food (her cat only eats the dry stuff). He seemed pretty comfortable, but we still didn't know if he had any health issues, and if he was indeed a bona fide stray cat free for the taking, or just somebody's escaped pet. We decided that J would take him to the city animal shelter the next day, but if everything checked out, I would adopt him. I tried not to get too attached to him, I knew there could be a million things that could happen, but every time I thought about him, I knew that I had to keep him. J dropped him off at the shelter the next day. They told her that because he had bitten her, they would have to put him in a quarantine period to make sure he didn't have rabies or anything. She gave them her info, and told them that if he wasn't someone's pet, I wanted to adopt him. They told her they would contact her with updates and gave her a reference number for him, but I would have to fill out an adoption application myself before they could put a hold on him. About a week and a half went by, and J didn't hear anything from the shelter. On July 3rd, I got out of work an hour early, giving me time to go to the shelter during their adoption hours and ask about the cat. When I arrived, I was told that while he was just finishing up his quarantine and still needed to be cleared by their vet, but I could apply to adopt him while I was there. I was approved, of course, and the adoption counselor told me that with the holiday coming up, it would probably be another few days before I heard back, plus it was standard procedure to foster kittens to get them properly socialized before they could get adopted out. All good though, since he was reserved for me, and they had both my contact info, and J's. A few days came and went, and I didn't hear anything from the shelter. I wasn't worried though, I know these things can take time, and I had already gotten my name on the kitten before he had even hit the adoption floor. I figured if they needed to update me, they would. Besides, I don't like it when people bother me while I'm just trying to do my job. I knew they were busy, and I was certainly busy with work and life. I didn't want to rush them, my cat would be there when the time came, right? More time passed with no updates. I kept a close eye on my email, and made sure my phone ringer was on. I was starting to get concerned, but I still didn't want to bother people just because I felt impatient. It had been nearly two weeks without contact. I decided that it would be best if I called them, even if it risked coming off as rude. No answer, but I was able to leave them a voicemail. I also sent an email asking if there were any updates. That's when they finally responded: "Hi fromthewindyplace, Thank you for following up and we apologize we haven't contacted you back regarding this kitten. After looking into it, it appears this kitten is still in foster. We do already have an adopter lined up for this kitten once it is out of foster, but we can add you as the second adoption hold if you'd like. This means that if the first adopter does not end up adopting, we would contact you to see if you are still interested in adopting this kitten when the time comes. If you have any questions, please let us know. Thanks, City Animal Shelter" Wait, what? First adopter? I though I was the first adopter? I had been approved for him before he even got out of bite quarantine, how could there have been someone else before me? That most definitely would have been at least mentioned when I filled out my application. There must be some mistake, we must be talking about two different cats. This isn't making any sense, this can't be possible. As diplomatically and calmly as possible, I said as much in my reply, and attached a picture I had taken the night we found him. This picture, actually. Today, they replied again: "Hello, We'd like to apologize for our miscommunication regarding this issue. From the photo, it looks like this might be the same cat you're talking about. After looking through our records on this cat in particular, it seems that our counselor might have missed putting into the memo that you were interested in adopting. Therefore, we unfortunately missed your interest in this kitten and someone else placed a hold on it. In the spirit of making amends, I've made a note to waive your next adoption fee, and I'd like to invite you down to our facility to meet with and potentially adopt any of our current kittens. I'm very sorry about this mistake we've made, and we look forward to seeing you down at the facility. Warm Regards, City Animal Shelter" So that's it. The kitten that I thought was meant to be mine, that came to me out of the darkness like an act of destiny, that I had gotten so attached to so quickly, is going to a stranger, and there's nothing I can do about it. I know, it all sounds a bit dramatic. I know, I shouldn't have gotten so attached to a cat I only knew for less than a day. I know I can adopt another kitten, no shortage of them. Or an adult cat. Or even a dog. They just won't be that cat. I feel like I let him down. I know, I should've been more assertive, I shouldn't have taken them at their word, I should've been less trusting. I know it was just a mistake, I know they weren't trying to hurt me, but I still can't help but feel betrayed. TL;DR: I found a stray kitten, took him to the animal shelter, was approved to adopt him, but they messed up his paperwork and gave him to somebody else, and now I feel real bad about it. submitted by /u/fromthewindyplace to r/cats [link] [comments]

This happened a couple years ago when I bought my first house in a chill little neighborhood. Everything was great except for one thing: my back neighbor, Rick. Rick’s the kind of guy who owns two grills but no shirt, drinks Coors Light in the driveway at 10am, and thinks property lines are just a “suggestion.” Rick also had this massive golden retriever named Duke. Duke was cool, friendly, but had a very specific habit: he loved to drop the nastiest logs right in the middle of my lawn. Not near the sidewalk. Not behind a tree. Dead center, like it was his sacred spot. Every. Damn. Day. First couple of times, I figured maybe Rick didn’t realize it. So I walked over, super polite, and asked if he could maybe keep Duke on a leash or at least scoop the poop when it happened. Rick, wearing a tank top that said "Weekend Warrior," looks me dead in the eye and goes, “It’s all nature, bro. You don’t own the Earth.” Oh. We’re doing that. So I tried the normal stuff: patched the fence, put in a motion-activated sprinkler, even tried some citrus deterrent. Nothing worked. Rick actually laughed when he saw the sprinkler and said, “Nice try, but Duke’s built different.” Cool. I’m built different too. Here’s where the revenge starts. I started collecting Duke’s turds in a Home Depot bucket. Lined it with a trash bag, used a scoop, added a little water for… aesthetic reasons. After about two weeks, I had something that looked like a cursed soup. One Saturday morning, while Rick was out, I took that bucket and painted the border of his yard. Sprinkled it like fairy dust right along his deck and around his precious fire pit area. He came out later that day, sniffed the air, and literally went, “What the hell is that smell?” I was sitting on my porch drinking coffee like, “Smells like nature, bro.” But wait, it gets better. We have a neighborhood Facebook group. I started posting “Lost Dog Poop” updates every time Duke hit my yard. “Found: steaming hot dog present near my mailbox. If this belongs to you, please collect your property before it fossilizes. Thanks!” Then I started putting up tiny little “Do Not Poop Here” signs made out of popsicle sticks and toothpicks, complete with glitter and googly eyes, all over the lawn. I made them in weird passive-aggressive haiku form: Dear Duke the Pooper This is not your golden throne My grass feels betrayed Rick was not amused. He actually stormed over one day and yelled, “Are you trying to make me look bad?!” I just blinked and said, “Buddy, I don’t need to try.” After all that, the neighborhood fully turned on him. A couple other people came forward and said Duke had been leaving surprises in their yards too. Rick ended up having to build an actual fenced-in dog run and started walking Duke on a leash like a normal human. And me? I still make those little haiku signs for fun. TL;DR: Neighbor let his dog use my lawn as a toilet. I turned it into a public shaming campaign with poop-themed art and passive-aggressive poetry. He now walks his dog like a responsible adult. Victory smells like fresh-cut grass and not dog crap. Edit: Some offended Ricks are shitting the comments. Edit 2: Someone slid in my DMs requesting pics, do you like dog shit? submitted by /u/VryCuteAjaBharDuChut to r/pettyrevenge [link] [comments]

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is Ok-Jelly-6298. She posted in r/AmIOverreacting, r/relationship_advice and her own page. Previous BORU's here and here. New Update marked with ****\* Thanks to u/ItsAmihan for letting me know about the update. Trigger Warning: possible mental breakdown; withholding a child as leverage toward the other parent Mood Spoiler: things have gotten better in some ways and worse in others Original Post: April 11, 2025 Hi Reddit. I’m F25 and I’m honestly at my breaking point with this one. I need outside perspective because my entire family is acting like I’m Hitler for standing my ground. So, I (25F) am a student software developer and a pretty serious PC gamer in my free time. I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment that I’ve spent years making cozy and functional. I saved up for a long time to build my dream PC setup … triple monitors, custom mechanical keyboard, ergonomic chair, the works. Altogether, my rig is worth a bit over $2,000, and I take care of it like it’s a damn child. Last weekend, my older sister (30F) asked if she could crash at my place for one night because her apartment was being fumigated, and her husband was out of town. She has a 3-year-old son, Max, who’s… let’s say “spirited.” I love him, but he’s a little chaos goblin. I hesitated, but she swore she’d keep an eye on him and that it’d just be for one night. They show up Saturday afternoon, and immediately it’s clear she wasn’t kidding about Max being a handful. Within ten minutes of arriving, he’d pulled four books off my shelf, thrown my houseplants on the floor, and spilled juice on my area rug. I tried to stay chill, he’s three, I get it … but I asked my sister politely to please keep him out of my office, where my PC setup is. She rolls her eyes and goes, “He’s just exploring, he’s curious, it’s normal.” But she closes the office door anyway. Cut to Sunday morning. I wake up to screaming. Max had apparently woken up before his mom, managed to open the office door, and decided my setup was his new jungle gym. He pulled down one of my monitors, cracking the screen. He stuck crackers into the PC tower’s ventilation slots (I’m not kidding), yanked out my keyboard’s keycaps, and had colored on my chair with permanent marker. The cherry on top? He poured apple juice INTO the tower. INTO IT. When I tell you I went silent… I mean dead silent. My sister comes in, sees the damage, and just says, “Oh nooo,” in this incredibly flat tone, like someone knocked over a cup of coffee. I start freaking out, and she has the AUDACITY to say, “You should’ve baby-proofed the room if it was that important to you.” I lost it. I told her that 1) she KNEW he wasn’t supposed to be in there, 2) this is my space, not a damn daycare, and 3) baby-proofing a $2,000 gaming setup is not a standard requirement for adults living alone. She told me to “calm down” and said that “he’s just a kid, and stuff is replaceable.” I told her she could replace it then. She said she didn’t have the money right now, but maybe in a few months she could give me a few hundred. I told her that wasn’t acceptable and that she needed to take full responsibility. She left in a huff and now my whole family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I’m being “materialistic” and should understand that my nephew didn’t mean it. My dad said I should’ve “locked the door” if it was that important. My brother actually said, “Why do you even need three monitors anyway? That’s kind of overkill.” I’ve filed a claim with my insurance but there’s no guarantee it’ll be covered since it was technically “guest damage.” I also told her that if she does not pay up, I'll take her to court for what happened. Now I’m getting texts from my sister demanding an apology for “blaming her kid for being curious.” I told her I’d drop it if she covered the cost of repairs and replacements … or at least met me halfway … and she BLOCKED me. So… Am I overreacting if I take my sister to court over this? UPDATE: Wow. Just wow. Four hours later, I wake up from my nap to this. Thank you guys, it'll take a bit for me to read all of this. My sister still has not unblocked me, but her husband reached out to find out what happened. I'm sorry I don't have more to tell yet, but I'll update again when I do. Seriously, thanks for the insights everyone. My head is a lot clearer now ❤️ Update 2 (Same Post): Another 4 hours later UPDATE2: Hey all. My sister’s husband reached out as mentioned earlier, and we’re working out a solution if possible. He’s been really understanding as have all of you. Also, to clarify the office situation: my one-bedroom apartment is on the smaller side (33m2/355sq ft?), so the landlord converted an old ex-clothes cabinet into a makeshift ’office.’ It’s weird, but the building is from the 40s, and ig they had to get creative with the space with an old tenant or something. So its living room (sister and her kid slept there) + kitchen (i slept there) + the ’office.’ Thanks for all the support. And the award. I really don't have the words for how nice people have been in both DMs and the comments. ❤️‍🩹 Some of OOP's Comments: OOP responds to one of the top comments: OOP: I really appreciate your comment, I feel as if you nailed exactly how I’ve been feeling but couldn’t articulate in the moment. It’s comforting to know I’m not totally off-base here. I will need to see what I’m willing to do with this situation, I don’t want to lose my family, but I don’t want to start begging to be heard either. Thank you. ❤️ Going no contact: Yeah, I’m not ready to go full no contact right now, but I really appreciate your perspective. It’s definitely something I’ll keep in mind if things keep escalating and no one starts showing even a little respect for my boundaries. I just want accountability, not drama. But if they keep pushing, I won’t hesitate to step back. I don't think I want to know my family if they can’t appreciate the work I put into my hobbies. Thanks for the insight. ❤️ Commenter (downvoted): Questions - does your office door lock, if so why wasn't it locked? how was this unattended 3 year old able to get his hands on crackers & apple juice in an apartment that he is presumably not familiar with? Why were these items so easy for him to get to? if you knew in advance that he & your sister were coming, why wouldn't you make any effort to either secure delicate/important items or move them somewhere he can't reach? OOP: 1. The “office” is a converted clothes closet. The apartment’s from the 40s and has a weird layout. There’s no lock on the door, the door is just a heavy old one. Tbh I’ve been wondering if my sister might have opened it for him. I just don't get why??? 2. The crackers and juice weren’t mine, sister brought them. I had no idea he had access to them during the night until after the fact. 3. I didn’t get much notice. I saw her message around 10AM Saturday, and they arrived around 2PM. My place was a mess, so I spent most of that time cleaning before they came by. In hindsight, yeah, I should’ve been more cautious with my setup, but it didn’t even cross my mind that anything like this would happen as I thought the office area was inaccessible to him. What he did pull off of the shelves was moved higher up and out of reach and in an area where he could be kept an eye on. Update Post: April 16, 2025 (5 days later) Hey again. Just wanted to post a quick update since it’s been a little under a week and a few people asked what happened next. Things are better, pretty fucking weird, and still ongoing, but here’s where we're at. Last Saturday, my brother-in-law (BIL) came over to check out the damage himself. He actually brought Max (toddler) with him, which I was almost livid about at first, but he had a reason. He asked Max to try opening the office/closet door. The kid couldn’t do it. The door was too heavy for him. You probably can guess where this is going. :=) BIL offered to take my PC to the store that originally built it for me, just to see what was fixable. I agreed, but asked for something in writing just so I had some peace of mind. We put together a little agreement that he’d be responsible for it while it was with him. Yeah, yeah, it was just a formality and would not hold much merit anywhere, but it helped me feel a bit more in control. On Monday, he dropped it off at the shop and gave them my number so they could keep me updated. He also told me he confronted my sister about how things played out. I sent him my original Reddit post too, he read the comments and apparently showed them to her. She still hasn’t unblocked me, and from what I’ve heard, was not happy about the fact my BIL is actually listening to me. I also shared the post and some comments with my parents and brother since no one really believed me before. My parents still don’t fully get it, but they’ve at least stopped pushing back. My brother is more understanding now, though for some reason he mostly wanted to talk about how many people saw the post. I don't think either of those three still care, really, and I'm fine if they see this. Do better. Anyway, I went to see the PC today (wednesday here). The shop said it’s mostly salvageable. It needs a very very careful internal clean and a few fans replaced, and some wiring fixed, but overall the main parts survived somehow. BIL told me he’ll cover the cost of the repair, no hesitation. When I brought up what my sister said about not being able to pay even $200, he said she’s lying. He also said he’s not sure Max actually did all the damage. He thinks the door was left open on purpose, or that my sister might have even done some of it herself. Based on the height of the tower and where the crackers ended up, it didn’t quite add up to a toddler acting alone. Apparently, she’s been telling him I have a “gambling addiction” (I did get a bit hooked on Genshin like 4 years ago I guess?) and that maybe this whole thing will “wake me up,” which is… new. She used to be supportive or at least indifferent. No idea where that switch came from. So yeah. That’s where we’re at: My PC is being cleaned up and fixed, and BIL is covering the cost. Sister still has me blocked and won’t talk to me. Still tempted to start something with her tbh, especially if she actually did all of this on purpose. Still not ruling out small claims court depending on how things go. Thanks again to everyone who responded to the original post. Seeing how many people understood what happened really helped me hold the line with my family when I felt like I was losing my mind. One thing I’ve been turning over in my head lately is what if my sister did do something to my setup on purpose? I don’t want to believe that, it feels like a stretch, but the more I think about it, the less so, I guess...? But then I remember how she acted when I asked her to keep Max out of the office. The eye-roll and the "he's just curious" comments like she didn’t take any of it seriously...??? And now hearing from my BIL that she’s been saying I have a “crippling gambling/gaming/whatever addiction” and needed to “grow up”???? It’s just… weird. She used to be cool about it. Never super into games herself, but she got that it was important to me. If something changed, I don’t know when or why. And if this was some weird way to make a point or “teach me a lesson”… that’s messed up. You're not our mom. How about talking first instead of this? I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the more I think about it, the less it makes sense that Max could’ve done all of that alone. It's sick if she blamed her own son for it. So yeah. Not accusing anyone outright, but that thought is there now. And if you're my sister reading this… Which I'm guessing you are, because I bet you'd love to look at the comments that are on your side a lot. :))) I don’t know why you blocked me. I don’t know what shifted in your head about all this. But if you actually had anything to do with damaging my setup whether it was on purpose or just through complete carelessness... Fuck. You. You know I worked hard for that. You know what that rig meant to me, and you know I would never do something like this to your stuff. And if Max really did all of it on his own… I hope you’re paying closer attention now. Not for my sake, but for his. Read the comments on my first post again, from other parents and people with younger siblings who CLEARLY know better than you. That's all. Thanks for reading, those who did. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Wait - I thought the whole family was blowing up your phone telling you how mean you were? OOP: Yes a week ago, before my first post. Is there something I can clarify for you here? My sister was talking incredible smack about me to them, making it seem like I ”screamed at her child” over a ”minor mistake.” I do see the people going ”haha blowing up her phone” and I do not understand what is wrong with the wording? Commenter: I think chatgpt is being used a lot on Reddit lately, especially in AITA type subs and a common indicator that it’s a fake post is that AI always uses the “blowing up my phone” phrase so that’s probably why they’re questioning it OOP: Ohh… I see. 🤣 Thank you for clarifying! Beep, boop. Commenter: I’m really glad things are turning for the better. But what about the other damages (Gaming chair, keyboard, etc)? OOP: My chair is okay, the cushion, legs and back are stained with red permanent marker but I’ve learned to live with it. Coworkers and I are trying to find a chemical to fix the situation on the cushions, but an ethanol solution (small amounts, i dont want to ruin the chair further) has slowly been working at cleaning the other parts. (being a janitor does have its perks) Keyboard… ehh. I could not find all of the keycaps that were pulled off. I replaced the missing ones with an old keyboard’s ones (both mechanical) so it’s a bit awkward but it works for now. I might get custom ones for it if I find some that fit. The cracked monitor on the other hand needs to be replaced. I guess calling it ”cracked” was a kindness in itself. Still got the other two left and at least it wasnt the most expensive one… but yeah. 3: Commenter: Um, why aren't you just having your bil pay for a new keyboard and monitor? Or professional cleaning for the chair? That's all part of the repairs. OOP: We are waiting to see if my sister confesses to anything. If so, she will be paying out of her own pocket (and paying back), not my BIL. If she confesses and refuses, then, well… 👨‍⚖️📝🔒 The computer is essential, but the keyboard works and I still have two monitors. Thats why I am willing to wait for the other damage to be solved. The 'addiction': I'll admit, during covid, I did spend $300 on Ganyu when she came out, but that was the ’worst’ of it. (And it was so worth it) I don't play much anymore, (mostly stuck on Marvel Rivals rn) but the overall margin from Genshin release to this day I've spent under $600. I get it, even that might look crazy to people who don't play video games, but sheesh. GAMBLING addiction…? Bruh. She should be more concerned of what I spend on Pokemon packs in this economy, if she's gotta be concerned over something. 🤣🤣🤣 Update Post 2: May 3, 2025 (over 2 weeks later, 3 from OG post) Title: My [25F] sister [30F] is spiraling but I don’t know how or if I should help. A few weeks ago, I made a post (not here) about how my sister’s toddler [3M] almost destroyed my PC setup. Long story short, she and her son were staying with me for one night, he got into my office, and the whole setup got wrecked with juice and cracker bits shoved into the tower. The situation was awful, and when I asked my sister for help covering the damage, she made an excuse and blamed me instead. It became whole family drama. My sister blocked me and acted like the whole thing was my fault, but her husband (my BIL) reached out on his own. He checked the damage himself, helped take the PC in for repairs, and ended up covering the costs because he was genuinely embarrassed by the way she acted. He even started questioning whether their toddler could have done that much damage on his own, especially after the kid couldn’t even open the door by himself. My BIL thought maybe my sister left it open or did something herself. Within a week of that, my BIL confronted her and well, she kicked him out of the house. Like, full-on, told him to get the hell out, packed up his things, dumped them and left them by the curb like he was a stray dog. He told me she screamed that he was “betraying her” and “taking the side of that fucking Reddit bitch,” meaning me. She also apparently accused him of conspiring and cheating on her with me to “humiliate her publicly,” which… What??? She hasn’t let him see their kid since. No visits. No phone calls. She’s gone full black hole mode and is completely unreachable, threatening cops if he goes near. She’s blocked me, my brother, even some extended family, and is only talking to our parents, who are still enabling her but I think its only so they can keep Max at arm’s lenght. Meanwhile, I’m hearing rumors she’s been telling people I’m unhinged, psychotic, and that I made the whole thing up. She told one of our cousins that I “lured” her kid into the office like some kind of trap or setup. I don’t know if this is postpartum-related, or if something snapped, or if she’s just always been this vindictive and I didn’t want to see it. But I’m scared. Scared for her kid. Scared for her husband. And yeah I’m also scared for myself, because if she’s willing to ruin her whole marriage and turn the family against me just to protect a lie…? My parents want to keep it under wraps, but I know my BIL wants to get her help. I want to get her help too, but I don’t know where to start or what to do. What can I start with to possibly push her towards someone who can help her out? Has someone here dealt with a situation like this before? I feel helpless, as I know she is an adult and has free-will but I fear for her safety and my nephew’s safety as well… My BIL voiced wanting to divorce her and told my parents he will get his son whether they approve or not. His side of the family is furious with mine and I’ve no idea where I stand because yeah, I guess I started this. Is this salvageable? If so, how? What can I do? Who can I contact within the states…? Is there anything I can do even? Does anyone know? Top Comments: LhasaApsoSmile: I think your parents need to talk to her because this is crazy. The kid did what 3 yo's do but she failed as a mother by not minding him. Your BIL stepped up to fix it. But her reaction is nuts. There has to be more here. I think your parents are in a better place to figure out what is going on. *****New Update Post: June 25, 2025 (over 1.5 months from previous post, 2.5 from OG)****\* Hello everyone, It’s been a while, so I didn’t want to post this on AIO, but for those still interested in my situation, here’s an update. :) The good news first: My PC is fully functional again. The store was able to recover it! My nephew is now in a safe and stable environment with my brother-in-law. Unfortunately, there have also been some difficult developments: My brother-in-law is currently in the process of separating from my sister. It seems I’ve essentially been disowned by my mother, and now, it appears, by my father as well. The only one still in contact with me is my brother. Thank you to those who have checked in or supported me during all this. It truly means a lot. OOP's Comments: Commenter: Good to hear things are fixed with th pc now, but that's awful that you've been disowned by your parents. Why did they do that? Unless I'm remembering wrong, they were only in contact with her to have access to their grandkid. Sounds like you're in the middle of a lot right not so I won't push, but I wish you luck. Just know that people are on your side and are praying for you 🙏 OOP: Thank you! I am very happy to hear that. My parents have unfortunately been swayed by my sister's lies. I guess I can say that she is of the mind that BIL was cheating on her with me and that we want to "steal her son." I am still trying to cope with what has happened (poorly, but work and studies keep me busy thankfully...) and to clear the air. There is a lot happening as you guessed, but I'll give out more updates after everything settles down. Right now I'm just taking it one day at a time. Commenter: I'm glad your nephew is safe! Try to keep that connection - he'll appreciate it in the future. I wish you the best of luck with the rest of the family. It's not your fault & you need to work to accept that. Maybe find a therapist to talk this thru with? You need to protect your mental health. I'm also a younger sister & I took on way too much of trying to fix things when I was your age. OOP: Thank you for the advice! Therapy hadn't even crossed my mind... I'll look into it for sure! submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/BienGuzman to r/assholedesign [link] [comments]