Prom Suits For Men

..." under their terminology, they understand suits and dinner dress and how... for cocktail dress, gown or prom dress (I search countless websites... Gala Night, as would most men, though there were quite a... lighter coloured but very smart suits. I shall look with interest...

... for women, tuxedos or dark suits for men. Husband and I have a.... For many young people, a prom may be their first exposure ..., can mean cocktail dresses, midi-dresses, suits or blazers for men, and so forth. This would... dresses or lovely dressy suits. Men can also wear lighter colored suits. Think of the Kentucky...

... knows a guy who makes suits like that, so… I'll probably..., his attention catching on the suits lined up along the walls, ... wear something like that. "Prom dresses by day, indestructible super suits by night." The voice..., then flicked back toward the suits he had seen earlier. He ... Woolsey and Gallagher. God, these men look good in them, sure ...

... shoes.   I currently have three suits, but only wear two of... dress more formally than most men, especially in my age bracket... someone going to their junior prom. And tails should be reserved...

... will try to include the prom, graduation, and the wedding. The... prom section will probably hit 10,... relief. "About time those Council suits pulled their heads out and ... man. One of several young men, technically, but—" Fester rubbed his ...

... me of a gaggle of men in dinner suits coming home after a... done on getting the Wilsons Prom booking! It's a magical place...

I'm in a rush to buy a suit for my prom on saturday, thinking about just buying the Unilow Airsense Suit: Men's AirSense Blazer | Wool-Like | UNIQLO US Do yall think it would work? what color combos should I buy? For ref I'm 5'8 Male Indian 150lbs. I just need it for the night and will be returning it after, pls help submitted by /u/DiamondP1ayz to r/malefashionadvice [link] [comments]

Hi, me and my girlfriend are seniors and our prom is in four weeks. I’m wearing an elegant purple dress. I chose purple because it’s my girlfriend‘s favorite color. Instead of getting a purple or black suit to match, she decided to get a suit that is covered in images of cartoon ducks. I get that she loves ducks and there’s nothing wrong with loving ducks. And I would be so cool with her having like some duck themed accessories, like socks, jewelry, and pins. But I and my parents agree that an imaged suit like that is not appropriate for a formal prom. I’m also frustrated because when I told her the whole reason I picked purple was because it’s her favorite color she gave me a half baked excuse and apology. So today, I asked her if she could at least go to Men’s Wearhouse and look at purple or black suits. And I even offered to buy a suit for her. But her and my sister are making me out to be the asshole. I know my wording isn’t the best but my intentions aren’t bad. I just don’t think a suit like that is appropriate and she was a bit disrespectful for not even considering getting a new suit so we could match after I told her I chose purple for her. Please let me know your opinion, I’d appreciate it. EDIT AND UPDATE: I understand how intentions can come across completely skewed over text like with this post and with my texts with my girlfriend. When I was texting her, I came off as jerky and rude so I apologized today and I told her that the inappropriateness is not the main reason I’m upset. It’s more that I’m disappointed that she’s not reciprocating my gesture. Anyways, we agreed to have some sort of matching motifs for our outfits. She’s going to have purple accessories and I’m going to have some duck themed accessories. It’s more of the theme of prom and the tradition that you’re supposed to be at least somewhat matching with your date and that’s something I value. Now for all the people saying I’m treating her like a prop… I never told her to get a new suit. I said I would just appreciate if she would look at other suits. And that’s not happening because she already said no and I respect no’s. I’m not a devil over here lol. I’m just a pretty logical thinker and I believe based on other prompts that I’ve been to that that kind of pattern isn’t super appropriate, but like I said that’s not the important thing to me right now. Thank you to all the people who said I’m the asshole and were actually kind about it. I take all constructive criticism kindly. To all the people who said I’m the asshole and weren’t kind about it, please remember that I am a CHILD and it’s not cool to be mean to children. I would say I’m a pretty whimsical person and I would be a fool not to love ducks so don’t go saying I’m a boring stiff who doesn’t like fun. The lesson I learned here being, just learn to be a better communicator. Everything‘s fine now as of today. Thank you to all the kind people and all the people who were being rude in the comments, be better. submitted by /u/Background_Buy_2571 to r/Prom [link] [comments]

Hi! A little bit of introduction. I have never posted on reddit before in my life, but this seems like a good time and place to ask for advice. Im a 16 y/o cisgendered female going to prom this june with my 17 y/o trans ftm boyfriend (and im sooo excited!!!). Hes having a lot of trouble finding a suit that will fit him for a good price (emphasis on a good price because we are both definitely on a tight budget), and Im trying to help as much as I can. I thought to ask where there would be people who know more about this than I do, considering I know absolutely nothing about suits. He is really, really hoping to wear a navy pinstripe suit (im wearing a navy dress) but is willing to compromise by wearing a black pinstriped suit and a navy tie. He really wants a kind of old fashioned vibe to it -hence the pinstripes- and thats very hard to find right now, not even considering his measurements. He stands at 5"0 but sometimes wears lifts which put him at around 5"3, and is planning on doing so for prom. This makes jackets too long, and pants too short, on top of the overarching problem that typical mens measurements wont be comfortable for him. Im not telling him about this post in case nothing comes of it, but if anyone has ANY advice for where to find something like this/how to get something tailored/any other helpful advice, it would be incredibly helpful. This is his senior prom, and it was pretty difficult for him to even ask his mom about being allowed to wear a suit, so it matters a lot to me that I help him and find something he will love and feel comfortable in!! If additional information is needed about measurements or requirements for style im happy to provide it! submitted by /u/ettieischillin to r/mypartneristrans [link] [comments]

Hi! A little bit of introduction. I have never posted on reddit before in my life, but this seems like a good time and place to ask for advice. Im a 16 y/o cisgendered female going to prom this june with my 17 y/o trans ftm boyfriend (and im sooo excited!!!). Hes having a lot of trouble finding a suit that will fit him for a good price (emphasis on a good price because we are both definitely on a tight budget), and Im trying to help as much as I can. I thought to ask where there would be people who know more about this than I do, considering I know absolutely nothing about suits. He is really, really hoping to wear a navy pinstripe suit (im wearing a navy dress) but is willing to compromise by wearing a black pinstriped suit and a navy tie. He really wants a kind of old fashioned vibe to it -hence the pinstripes- and thats very hard to find right now, not even considering his measurements. He stands at 5"0 but sometimes wears lifts which put him at around 5"3, and is planning on doing so for prom. This makes jackets too long, and pants too short, on top of the overarching problem that typical mens measurements wont be comfortable for him. Im not telling him about this post in case nothing comes of it, but if anyone has ANY advice for where to find something like this/how to get something tailored/any other helpful advice, it would be incredibly helpful. This is his senior prom, and it was pretty difficult for him to even ask his mom about being allowed to wear a suit, so it matters a lot to me that I help him and find something he will love and feel comfortable in!! If additional information is needed about measurements or requirements for style im happy to provide it! submitted by /u/ettieischillin to r/transmanlifehacks [link] [comments]

Stopping the entries for now. I've gone through T1 and T2, I will have to go through all the T3 titles later. Thank you for your comments! UPDATE 2: Going through T3, there are still like 400 to go, please be patient haha I finally went through and compiled all the keys from Humble that I never redeemed over the past decade or so. Here they are. DISCLAIMERS Due to the amount and age of many of the keys, I cannot guarantee each will work (or that every game on the list is still playable). I did my best to make sure they are ones I haven't redeemed yet and tested some along the way, virtually all should work. Redeem your keys immediately after I send them, it seems publishers have started putting time limits on keys in recent years, some are pretty close to expiration. The keys will be NA, if they are region locked. RULES All standard subreddit rules apply. If a game is listed with it's DLC, it comes with that DLC. For example, if you ask for EDF 4.1, you get the 20 DLC keys with it. I have separated the games into 3 tiers. Tier 1 games, you may request 1. Tier 2, you may request 1 tier 2 and 1 tier 3. Tier 3, you may request 2 tier 3 games. I will start PMing keys later today, gifts will be semi-random, not first-come first-serve. Take your time to read the lists, there's some gems down there. YOU MAY REQUEST 1 T1 1 T2 + 1 T3 2 T3 T1 Status Persona 4 Golden Claimed Persona 5 Royal Claimed Persona 5 Strikers Claimed Atomic Heart Claimed Total War: WARHAMMER III Total War: PHARAOH DYNASTIES Claimed Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name Claimed Yakuza 0 Claimed Streets of Rage 4 Claimed Hunt: Showdown 1896 Claimed Gotham Knights Claimed Disco Elysium Claimed Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous Claimed Wasteland 3 Claimed Deep Rock Galactic + 65% off Ultimate Bundle coupon Claimed DIRT 5 Shenmue III Shenmue I & II Claimed Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice (refeature) Claimed Street Fighter V Claimed BATTLETECH Claimed BATTLETECH - Flashpoint Claimed BATTLETECH - Shadow Hawk Pack Claimed Call of Duty®: WWII Claimed Call of Duty®: WWII - Call of Duty Endowment Bravery Pack Claimed Call of Duty®: WWII - Call of Duty Endowment Fear Not Pack Claimed Kingdom Come: Deliverance Claimed METAL GEAR SOLID V: THE PHANTOM PAIN Claimed METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC Claimed Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Claimed T2 Status Crusader Kings II Crusader Kings II: Charlemagne Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods DLC Crusader Kings II: Way of Life METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES Claimed Trepang 2 Claimed Tomb Raider 1-3 Remastered Claimed Tomb Raider IV-VI Remastered Claimed Aliens Dark Descent Claimed Amnesia: The Bunker Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun Claimed Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader Claimed V Rising Claimed Another Crab's Treasure Claimed No More Heroes 3 Claimed Nine Sols Claimed Blasphemous 2 Claimed Sonic Frontiers Claimed Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes Claimed Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5) Claimed Life is Strange 2: Complete Season Claimed Just Cause 4 Complete Edition Claimed A Plague Tale: Innocence Claimed Planet Zoo Claimed Ghostrunner Claimed The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan Mafia: Definitive Edition Mordhau Project Wingman Claimed Amnesia: Rebirth Claimed Superliminal Claimed Darksiders Genesis Claimed Cook, Serve, Delicious 3 F1 2020 Claimed Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York Vampire The Masquerade: Coteries of New York Claimed Overcooked! 2 Claimed Overcooked! 2 - Surf 'n' Turf Pack Claimed Overcooked! 2 - Too Many Cooks Claimed Darksiders III Darkwood Imperator Rome Deluxe Edition XCOM: Chimera Squad ELEX Claimed Killing Floor Incursion Tropico 6 El Prez Edition Claimed Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair Vampyr Claimed Barotrauma GRID Ultimate Edition Claimed GRID 2 Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics Of War Men of War: Assault Squad 2 War Chest Edition GRiS F1 2019 Anniversary Edition Claimed Agony Claimed Sonic Mania Claimed Slay the Spire Claimed Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered Claimed EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 4.1: Blood Storm Claimed Sniper Elite 3 Claimed Just Cause 3 XXL Edition Claimed Mega Man Legacy Collection Claimed 7 Days to Die Claimed Dead Island Definitive Edition Claimed Sniper Elite V2 Claimed American Truck Simulator Claimed Resident Evil Revelations Claimed Streets of Rage A Hat in Time Claimed Forged Battalion Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!! Claimed Yooka-Laylee Claimed Planetary Annihilation: TITANS Tomb Raider Claimed Borderlands: Game of the Year Edition Claimed T3 Status Chants of Sennaar Sworn Etrian Odyssey III HD Bread & Fred Smalland: Survive the Wild Hard West 2 Curse of Pirates Playtest Squirrel with a Gun StarVaders Steamworld Build Tales & Tactics Naheulbeuk's Dungeon Master My Little Universe Griftlands Gravity Circuit Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Dea Racine Cavern of Dreams 1000xRESIST Nova Lands Distant Worlds 2 Nomad Survival Corpse Keeper Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes Evil West Shadow Gambit: The Cursed Crew Star Wars Bounty Hunter The Thaumaturge: Deluxe Edition Legacy of Kain Soul Reaver 1&2 Remastered Nobody Wants to Die Dungeons of Hinterberg Sker Ritual Biped Havendock Cat Quest III Death's Door DAEMON X MACHINA Wizard with a Gun Neo Cab Everafter Falls Blanc Banishers: Ghost of New Eden My Time at Sandrock Let's School! Lil Gator Game Wildmender Warpips WWE 2K25 The Plucky Squire SpellForce: Conquest of Eo Return to Monkey Island Eastern Exorcist Warhammer 40,000: Speed Freeks Grapple Dog Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town Cryptmaster Shogun Showdown Hotel Renovator Caravan SandWitch Etrian Odyssey HD Pharaoh: A New Era Synergy Spin Hero Paleo Pines Lost Skies Intravenous II Dungeon Tycoon Beholder Conductor Godlike Burger Etrian Odyssey II HD Nice Day for Fishing Metal Slug Tactics Settlement Survival Wizard of Legend 2 Against the Storm Fort Solis Old World Atlas Fallen: Reign of Sand Monster Prom 3: Monster Roadtrip The Bookwalker: Thief of Tales KarmaZoo Jusant Station to Station Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles InfraSpace Unpacking The Legend of Tianding Souldiers The Quarry Deluxe Edition Metal Hellsinger Rebel Inc: Escalation Spirit of the Island Lords and Villeins A Juggler's Tale Mr. Prepper Deceive Inc. Aces & Adventures Foretales Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus Hot Brass Road 96 SuchArt: Genius Artist Simulator Tin Can Trek to Yomi Eternal Threads GRIME Turbo Golf Racing Meeple Station Spiritfarer: Farewell Edition Bendy and the Dark Revival Operation: Tango Windjammers 2 Builder Simulator Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery The Invisible Hand Rollerdrome The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp Founders' Fortune Edge Of Eternity Hero's Hour Monster Crown Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales Othercide Shady Part of Me Scourgebringer Fobia Five Dates Tribes of Midgard Encased: A Sci-Fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG Grow: Song of the Evertree Conan Chop Chop Hokko Life The Serpent Rogue Backbone TOEM Where the Water Tastes Like Wine Blade Assault Super Magbot Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice Eldest Souls UnMetal Raji: An Ancient Epic Dark Pictures Anthology Disciples: Liberation Epic Chef Golf Gang Maid of Sker Crown Trick Descenders The Dungeon of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet of Chaos Forgive Me Father Industria The Ascent HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED Gas Station Simulator Mind Scanners Emily is Away observer_ Q.U.B.E. 2 Regions of Ruin Sundered Wizard of Legend Immortal Redneck NeuroVoider Purrfect Date Seven: The Days Long Gone Sniper Elite Dungeons 3 Gremlins, Inc. Hidden Folks Old Man's Journey We Were Here Too Crazy Taxi Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy: The Telltale Series OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood Battle Chef Brigade Figment Little Nightmares Staxel Tales of Berseria™ Zombie Night Terror Kona Sudden Strike 4 Forts Portal Knights Shiness: The Lightning Kingdom Titan Quest: Anniversary Edition + Titan Quest: Ragnarok DLC Acceleration of SUGURI 2 Bear With Me Crazy Machines 3 Moon Hunters NBA Playgrounds RUINER AER Memories of Old Lara Croft GO GOD EATER 2 Rage Burst Subterrain Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?! Last Day of June Lost Castle Splasher Black the Fall The Norwood Suite Owlboy Tacoma HIVESWAP: Act 1 Mr. Shifty BlazBlue: Chronophantasma Extend Nex Machina Passpartout: The Starving Artist Rivals of Aether The Sexy Brutale Train Simulator 2017 Train Simulator 2017: Platform Clutter Pack Train Simulator 2017: Town Scenery Pack STRAFE: Millennium Edition The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut Wurm Unlimited Hacknet Renegade Ops Collection Rollers of the Realm Sonic Adventure 2 Sonic Generations Collection Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure Zeno Clash 2 DreadOut DreadOut: Keepers of The Dark DreadOut Soundtrack & Manga DLC Five Nights at Freddy’s: Sister Location Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition Headlander Rise & Shine Small Radios Big Televisions Volgarr the Viking Wasted Destiny 2 Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem Destiny 2: Legacy Collection (2025) submitted by /u/Tarqvinivs_Svperbvs to r/GiftofGames [link] [comments]

I'm a younger butch and I'm hoping to rent a suit for prom. I refuse to wear a dress. I've been looking around online, and almost all of the places I've seen are marketed only to men. I'm non-binary + transmasc, so I'd really rather not wear a women's suit because of how form-fitting and feminized they are (I hate form-fitting stuff, it gives me the worst dysphoria), and how much they accentuate your boobs (I hate mine and don't want attention drawn to them, plus I use binding tape so it wouldn't really work). I'd really like to wear a men's suit, or at the very least a unisex suit that isn't feminized. I'm not super curvy (thankfully) so I think a men's suit will fit me well, but I've never worn a suit before so I don't really know. So I have some questions for older butches who have bought or rented suits before. First off, did you get a men's suit? How did it look on you? How did the fit feel? I've heard people say that female bodies in men's suits doesn't work, but I'm not sure how much I believe it. And this is probably a silly question, but will stores that market their suits to men not sell/rent to you if they see you're female? I'm sure the answer is obvious but I have a legit fear that I'll go in, they'll see I'm not a man, and they won't rent to me 😭 I'm probably getting worked up for no reason, but I don't really have anyone IRL to talk to about this and I feel kinda isolated. I have no butch friends, I don't know any older butches, and I know zero women who have worn suits to formal events. So I'm a little lost here. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks! submitted by /u/AirportOk8750 to r/butchlesbians [link] [comments]

A few quick things: 1) This post is not political. If someone’s talking about a politician, it’s simply scandalous their private views became public 2) Most of these messages are NOT nice and sweet, so if you’re expecting puppies and rainbows… look away now 3) I tried to keep the quotes as exact as possible. However, I did create new paragraphs to avoid one long wall of text Now, onto the texts These are the texts I (personally) think are spicer than your fave curry shop: 1) Anthony Bourdain to girlfriend Asia Argento the day before his suicide after he discovered she cheated on him: “I am lonely and living in constant uncertainty. I am not spiteful. I am not jealous that you have been with another man. I do not own you. You are free. As I said. As I promised. As I truly meant. But you were careless. You were reckless with my heart. My life. Is there anything I can do?” 2) Jeff Bezos to Lauren Sanchez during their affair against his wife in 2018: “I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon. I miss you. I want to kiss you right now and tuck you in slowly and gently. And maybe in the morning wake you up and not be quite so gentle with you. You know what I want? I want to get a little drunk with you tonight. Not falling down. Just a little drunk. I want to talk to you and plan with you. Listen and laugh … I basically WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!” 3) Taylor Swift supporting Blake Lively during the lawsuit with Justin Baldoni: “Wow I love how they use the song. Welcome to hollywood Justin. If Justin was strategic/He would be like no Taylor Swift in the trailer/Because that gives you more power over the film, that’s your ally not his. I think this b...h knows something is coming because he’s gotten out his tiny violin.” 4) Jim Carrey’s texts to now deceased girlfriend Cathriona White when she accused him of giving her herpes: “Have you thought about my c**k today? Aggravated folacles or bumps are normal when you shave or have vigorous sex. I understand you’re worried. Imagine how I am feeling right now. I am the one who should be freaking out. I hope you’re ok hun. It could be from someone before me. Doesn’t show up until you’re really stressed. It should be fine though. You haven’t let your pill lapse at all since we were apart have you sweety? Sorry I just have a concern because it was a little carefree tonight. You can get a morning after pill if there’s any question.” 5) Macklemore’s texts to Kendrick Lamar after he won a Grammy in 2014: “You got robbed. I wanted you to win. You should have. It’s weird and sucks that I robbed you. I was gonna say that during the speech. Then the music started playing during my speech and I froze. Anyway, you know what it is. Congrats on this year and your music. Appreciate you as an artist.” 6) Rihanna congratulating Lizzo: “Girl, you performed good. You fucked the stage like it was your side bitch” 7) Diplo desperately trying to reach Travis Scott: “its diplo think something might be wrong with my texts.. hit me back. yo trav u must be super busy lol. I know how it goes. anyways hit my line my guy. are u mad at me?” 8) Drake to his mom after accusations of him having plastic surgery: “😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I would have got us a 2 for 1 deal if I went ma. It’s coming from Rick Ross the guy I did songs with he’s gone loopy off the Mounjaro he hasn’t eaten in days and it’s turned him angry and racist he’s performing at proms for money it’s bad don’t worry we’ll handle it.” 9) Jason Sudeikis to the nanny after Olivia Wilde moved out of the house, “She just left ... She left them ... I'm in shock. This is crazy. Took her salad, and dressing and left them. You've been drinking and really angry. I'm very afraid of you right now.” 10) Armie Hammer’s texts to a girlfriend, “I am 100 percent a cannibal. I want to eat you. I want to bite you ... Brand you, tattoo you, mark you, shave your head and keep your hair with me, cut a piece of your skin off and make you cook it for me. You crying and crawling away while I stalked you down your hallway was so exhilarating. I decide when you eat, when you sleep… My own personal little slave… You are mine! You hear me? I own you now. I’ll own you forever. I want to see everything… I want to see your brain, your blood, your organs, every part of you…” 11) Tiger Woods to mistress Jaimee Daniels: “Having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself. Because I’m blasian :) Figured you would say that. Big black guys. I mean the amazing sport of golf. quiet and secretively we will always be together. when was the last time you got laid. send me something very naughty. Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust… Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls… God girl. You better want to take care of me… I want to treat you rough. im going to tell you to shut the F--- up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise” 12) Kanye West’s personal trainer gives him an ultimatum: “I’m going to help you one of a couple ways… First, you and I sit down and have an loving and open conversation, but you don’t use cuss words, and everything that is discussed is based in fact, and not some dumb crazy stuff that dumb friend of yours told you, or you saw in a tweet. Second option, I have you institutionalized again where they medicate the crap out of you, and you go back to Zombieland forever. Play date with the kids just won’t be the same.” 13) Jonah Hill’s text messages to then-girlfriend Sarah Brady: “Plain and simple: If you need: -Surfing with men -Boundaryless inappropriate friendships with men -to model -to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit -to post sexual pictures -friendships with women who are in unstable places from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful I am not the right partner for you. Literally just say hello and leave the convo. I love how your therapist thinks I suck. I literally am the best boyfriend. On earth. Fuck that contest fuck that place and fuck not respecting me always in every situation within surf culture or you don’t get it! I’d love to know before the premiere so I’m not put in the position of publicly flaunting our love if my boundaries are going to be continued to be disrespected. That would be hurtful and triggering to me.” 14) Nicki Minaj’s leaked texts to SZA’s manager after she claimed she never wanted to work with SZA: “Hey it’s Nicki. Is sza recording right now? Got this hook I think she would be dope on. Ok I’ll just send the hook first. If she fuk wit it I’ll send the files to an email. Gimme a sec.” 15) Yolanda Hadid’s texts to daughter Bella after her underage DUI in 2012: “Bella, I just got your car back from the pond and I was looking for your purse as I stumbled on the most disastrous car I have ever seen in my entire life… Now I am really in tears and really scared. What an eye opening experience to find beer cans, pink kittie bottles with vodka, bottles with Adderall, Vyvanse, rolling papers, and a car full of dirty clothes, dirty underwear with blood stains, tampax. Why am I even working my ass off to get you in a beautiful apartment if you cannot even keep your car clean? Do you even want to move to NY? I am so attached to you in ways that you will never understand until the day you have your own Bella. Life in my home has changed forever. Poor Anwar his life is going to be miserable.” 16) Justin Bieber to Marilyn Manson after Howard Stern tried to pit them against each other: “Bro it’s Bieber. What’s up with this article? I thought we had a pretty pleasant interaction. Also if anything wasnt squared away with the tshirts im so sorry. Anyway regardless it kinda stung seeing that I came off as an asshole or even was an asshole. Im sorry. Honestly i totally thought we hit it off. just wanted you to know that.” 17) Megan thee stallion sharing alleged texts of Tory Lanez apologizing after shooting her feet: “Meg. I know u prolly never gone talk to me again. But I genuinely want u to know I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. And I was just too drunk. None the less shit should have never happened.” 18) Alec Baldwin’s message to his then 12 year old daughter in 2007: “You have insulted me for the last time. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, 11 years old, or that you're a child. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone. You made me feel like sh*t. And you made me feel like a fool. And you do it to me constantly. I'm gonna get on a plane, and I'm gonna come out there for the day, and I'm gonna straighten your ass out. you understand me? I'm gonna really make sure you get it. So you better be ready to meet with me. So I can let you know just how I feel about what a rotten little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig.” 19) Tucker Carlson’s leaked work group chat messages shortly before the end of Trump’s first presidency: “we are very, very close to being able to ignore Trump most nights… I truly can’t wait… I hate him passionately… His talent is to destroy things. He could easily destroy us if we play it wrong… We’re all pretending we’ve got a lot to show for Trump's presidency, because admitting what a disaster it’s been is too tough to digest. But come on. There really isn’t an upside to Trump. A group of Trump guys surrounded an Antifa kid and started pounding the living shit out of him. Jumping a guy like that is dishonorable obviously. It’s not how white men fight. Yet suddenly I found myself rooting for the mob against the man, hoping they’d hit him harder, kill him. I really wanted them to hurt the kid. Much as I despise what he says and does, much as I’m sure I’d hate him personally if I knew him, I shouldn’t gloat over his suffering. I should remember that somewhere somebody probably loves this kid, and would be crushed if he was killed.” 20) Ice Spice’s ex best friend leaking text messages revealing Ice’s personal views on another member of her entourage: “yea text me before you come to make sure im still there. pls hurry before that cleo lands. lmfaoooooo like i wish i could fight that wide bitch. i usually dont respond to people but how u gonna make a whole graph. and on top of that mention down syndrome. like bitch i hope them all kids u have be born with down syndrome tf. ppl think they can play with me all day. i understand but lets not act like she not one of the chosen dark skins bc she does benefit from pretty privilege still & for being skinny.” Do any other leaked messages come to mind for you? submitted by /u/Far-Building3569 to r/DListedCommunity [link] [comments]

Hi everyone! I'm making my own prom/high school graduation suit using the simplicity 5677 pattern for a men's three-piece suit. The ebay listing said it's from 1982. What fabrics should I use? I don't know anything about suiting fabrics. I want it to be as versatile as possible (partially because the theme and dress code haven't been announced yet, and because I live in a place with unpredictable weather, especially in late spring), so I'm reluctant to use highly seasonal fabrics like seersucker. I also want it to be as era-accurate as possible. I'm also on a budget so I don't want to get anything too expensive or easy to damage. Thank you! submitted by /u/deeply_unsettled_man to r/sewing [link] [comments]

So an award show I’m invited to next week, that I was totally planning on wearing a sharp green suit to, just announced that it was gonna be „Black Tie“ this year. The fun thing was that the article where it was announced (nope I haven’t gotten the formal announcement yet) stated explicitly that that meant „evening gown for the ladies and smoking for the men“ - and it made me panic a little since I’m not really out out yet in terms of official name change. Also I’ve lost a lot of weight and most my dresses from days past don’t fit me anymore (and I don’t feel comfortable in a dress anymore either). It was hilarious because the only dress that fit was this dress from my PROM!!! Luckily my husband‘s wedding suit kinda fits me and I think I’m just gonna go with that - what do you think? 😅 submitted by /u/Selfcentred-Deer to r/NonBinary [link] [comments]

hey everyone!! i'm preparing for prom which is in a month or so, and i'm planning on buying a pinstripe waistcoat and trousers. however, the women's ones are a lot cheaper, and i find men's waistcoats to be too large on me (however the trousers are fine), and i usually don't get dysphoric wearing women's clothes because at the end of the day it's about corporations gendering clothing to get more money out of their businesses. anyways, i still want to look fabulous, and i've always been feminine, however i've stopped wearing more feminine outfits because i get misgendered in them. for prom however, i don't really care if i get misgendered, but i do care about my dysphoria and i'm slightly worried that the suit might fit weird on my figure and make me look like a woman. i'll stop rambling because i'm not making any sense now, but basically i need advice on how to feel like a guy but still maintain that 'funky' and slightly feminine element. submitted by /u/arcade-carpet to r/AskLGBT [link] [comments]

Hi you guys!!!!! :) Yes, I did get permission to post despite being a girl before you guys ask! I’m 17 and my prom is in like a month, and I still haven’t found a suit that I’m comfortable with. I’m not looking for anything crazy, probably just a black or dark grey to match my girl’s blue dress. I want something nice as this will be what I wear to my cousin’s wedding over the summer and will be my one and only suit for a while. Here’s my problem: I’m looking for a men’s suit (because of pockets!), but I’m short and bigger and have boobs because I am a girl (duh!). I am a freak with my pockets, I gotta have em: that’s why I only buy men’s pants 😬. For this reason, buying a women’s suit is like the last resort in my mind because I want something that I won’t hate wearing to nice events. I figured I would post on here and see if you guys had any advice! Is there like a men’s suit place that will size up a woman or something like that? Please let me know what y’all think, my dad is taking me shopping this weekend to a super mall that has a bunch of stores like Men’s Warehouse and Suit Supply, if y’all have any other recs, please comment! Any help is very appreciated! Thanks guys!!!!! :))) submitted by /u/CoughDrop_Queen to r/mensfashionadvice [link] [comments]

I sell suits and during prom season I've helped a lot of young men who can't make a complete request. They walk in and the interaction goes: "How can I help you?" "Uhh, suit" "Ok what color" "Black" Is it so fucking hard to say "I need a black suit for prom"? These guys are going to be in the workforce soon and they're talking like cavemen. They're so vacant and brain-drained it's depressing submitted by /u/Obvious-Ear-369 to r/retailhell [link] [comments]

I’m going to prom in a few weeks, I never been to one of these so I need a nice suit that’s still good for a party atmosphere. I’m in high school so I can’t get anything crazy expensive (budget around like 500 prolly, willing to go up if i really need to), I was thinking Men’s Warehouse but hella people said it’s bad but ppl online hate on everything so idk. I also heard Suitsupply is a good option? Hope yall can help, thanks Also if it helps I want to get something basically all black with one color accent maybe. I’m pretty skinny and I like my pants to be kinda wide (so it can sit over my shoe). And i’d prefer if they have tailor services cause I want it to fit well and i’ll probably just wear the same suit next year submitted by /u/TemporaryOutside3155 to r/malefashionadvice [link] [comments]

For some context, I'm a straight cis woman. I'm just nonconforming. I have a pixie cut and I don't like to wear makeup. I don't have piercings and don't like to wear dresses or stuff like that. I have been TOLD that I was gay by a lot of people. I am not. My friends would joke that i was in a glass closet and I would play flirt with them. I have been called a butch. And even got more confessions from women then men. My biological mother is homophobic and isn't exactly happy that her only daughter looks and acts like the way I do. However she doesn't have much say in it because I have lived with my Aunt since I was 11 because she had a drug problem. She is clean now but loves to make off handed comments about my beliefs and life style. Even telling me that it's okay that I voted wrong, because her vote would cancel out mine. It was my first time voting. Thanks mom. This happened in my high-school senior year. I was joking with my friends and one bet me 10 dollars that I wouldn't wear a suit to prom. I was 17 and wanted some Rockstar so I agreed. I told my aunt and she didn't care. I went to the school for the suit because my family is pretty poor. I found a really cool light blue one and I looked awesome. I took prom photos and my aunt posted them on Facebook. Next thing I know my mom is texting me, asking about what I was wearing. I'm going to try and remember them because they are gone now. Mommy: what are you wearing. Me: looks like a suit. Mommy: is that what your wearing to prom? Me: Yep. Mommy: why not a dress? Me: I didn't want to wear a dress. I wanted a suit Mommy: girls wear dresses, boys wear suits. Me: there is a problem with your logic, because I am a girl and I'm obviously wearing a suit. Mommy: sorry I didn't raise you right. Me: You didn't raise me mom. You let your sister do that for you. Was it a little rude? Yes. I told my aunt and she shook her head, saying I should have ignored her. I know it wasn't exactly my mom's fault and she made the best decision she would have made by giving my little brother and I to my aunt. She had a hard life, and my biological father wasn't a good man to her. But I'm getting tired of her thinly veiled homophobia. Sorry for Grammer mistakes, I'm doing this on a phone. Edit: All of you are very kind. I loved reading all of your own stories of suits to prom and the like. Also, your responses are very funny. I have read all of them. Thank you for the kind words. For all women and men, be strong, be beautiful, and kick ass. Don't fit into a mold. Make your own. submitted by /u/IdidnotFuckaCat to r/traumatizeThemBack [link] [comments]

As we all know, Pauly Shore was the pinnacle of comedy in the 1990s, and Hollywood has been chasing that high ever since. With recent real world events wreaking havoc on my mental health, I decided to spend this weekend zoning out with The Weasel and bringing myself back to the simpler days of my childhood. It's been a long time since I've watched a Pauly Shore movie, and I knew before I started that this could possibly turn into a harrowing experience, but I was determined to stick it through. Full spoilers ahead. Encino Man – 1992 Pauly Shore’s leading man career started with Encino Man. As you’re probably aware (unless you're too young to remember), this movie also served as Brendan Fraser’s breakout role, and he would then go on to carve his own path through the ‘90s. Co-starring Sean Astin, Encino Man tells the story of best friends Dave (Astin) and Stoney (Shore). After an earthquake uncovers a frozen caveman (Fraser) in Dave’s backyard, the two friends thaw him out and discover that he’s still alive. They name him Link, get Dave’s parents to believe he’s a foreign exchange student from Estonia, and enroll him in high school as a senior. Link is immediately popular, shenanigans ensue, and at the end of the movie, he gives bad boy villain Matt (Michael DeLuise) his comeuppance at prom by spinning him in circles and throwing him into a cake. He’s then crowned prom king, and the movie ends with a party at Dave’s house where Stoney and Link discover that another earthquake has uncovered a living cavewoman—Link’s partner from the ice age. Encino Man is a strong introduction to everything Pauly Shore sort of represented at the time: being yourself, shunning cultural expectations, and just having a good time. The biggest surprise upon re-watching this film was realizing that Matt isn’t the real villain in the story (although he is an asshole). The real villain is Sean Astin’s character Dave. From the very beginning, he makes it clear that he only wants to use Link so he can get popular and finally grab the attention of his crush, Robyn. And he sticks with this until the final act when he realizes that Link is more trouble than he’s worth—so he literally ditches him on the side of the road like a dog, leading to the most dramatic scene in the film. Stoney, meanwhile, is the voice of reason. He teaches Link important things like weezing the juice, eating grindage, and flirting with nugs. But most importantly, he teaches him about friendship. While Encino Man isn’t my favorite Pauly Shore movie, I definitely consider it necessary viewing if you want to understand what it means to be The Weasel. And a fun fact for those doing their own Pauly Shore marathon: Brendan Fraser’s Link makes a cameo appearance in several other Pauly flicks! Regular movie rating: 6/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: 7.5/10 Son in Law – 1993 The Weasel goes to the country in this fish out of water tale. Becca (Carla Gugino) is a South Dakotan farmgirl. After graduating from high school, she goes to college in the lawless land of California. Her first two months are rough, and right when she’s about to give up, her RA Crawl (Pauly Shore) intervenes and convinces her to stick around and let loose. One transformation montage later, Becca is now weezing and munching grindage with the best of them. Now it’s Thanksgiving break, and it’s time to see her family for the first time since becoming Becca 2.0. When she learns that Crawl will be alone over break, she brings him home to South Dakota. At dinner on their first night back, Becca’s high school boyfriend Travis (Dan Gauthier) proposes. Becca doesn’t want to marry him, so Crawl intervenes by saying that he and Becca are already engaged! Everyone is shocked, and the rest of the film is Crawl learning to be a bit more country while teaching everyone else to live a bit more like the Weasel. The movie ends with the family finding out that Travis roofied Crawl and Becca’s best friend Tracy (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) to make it look like they slept together. Becca and Crawl kick him to the curb, and the two announce that they’re putting the wedding on hold for now. I legitimately enjoy this movie, and it’s my second favorite Pauly Shore film. Yes, it’s dumb and critically panned like all his movies, but Pauly shines through much better in this than in Encino Man since he contrasts so well with the good ol’ country folk of South Dakota. He even gets through to Becca’s parents and grandparents about not judging people by first appearances. This movie also has a great supporting cast including Lane Smith (fresh off The Mighty Ducks), Cindy Pickett (aka Mrs. Bueller), and Patrick Renna (who won our hearts as Ham in The Sandlot that same year). Regular movie rating: 7/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: 9/10 In the Army Now – 1994 Despite the ‘90s homophobia and Arabphobia, I think this movie is Pauly Shore’s strongest, as he mostly abandons his Weasel persona for a straight up goofball comedy. Bones (Pauly Shore) and his best friend Jack (Andy “I’m a piece of shit” Dick) want to open their own stereo store but don’t have enough money—so they join the army reserves. Under the impression that after basic training they’ll never see combat, they of course get called up due to a conflict in Chad. Specializing in water purification along with their squad mates Christine (Lori Petty) and Fred (David Alan Grier), they discover that they’re actually really good at their jobs. But after a mission they’re assigned to goes wrong, they become stranded in the desert until they’re eventually captured by Libyans, who are preparing to fire chemical weapons at U.S. bases. With the help of another captured American soldier, Sgt. Stern (Esai Morales), they escape the prison during an attack, rendezvous with a special ops supply drop, and pinpoint the weapons with a laser targeting system so the Americans can blow up the Libyan base and save the day. The movie ends with Bones and Jack opening their new store. I’ve seen this movie way more times in my life than any reasonable person should, and it’s definitely one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Having Pauly Shore just be a regular idiot rather than his Weasel character makes all the silliness much more palatable, as his usual schtick would be way too annoying and unbelievable in a military situation. Once again, a strong supporting cast makes this film better than it should be (even Andy Dick is bearable). Lori Petty doesn’t disappoint as the badass female soldier and Bones’ love interest, and one of my favorite character actors, Art LaFleur, appears as the squadron’s commanding officer. However, since this is Pauly Shore at his highest, things can only go down from here… Regular movie rating: 7.5/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: 10/10 Jury Duty – 1995 And the decline is incredibly steep. Even on the Pauly Shore bell curve, this movie is awful, just absolute shit all around. Tommy Collins (Pauly Shore) has no job, no money, and nowhere to live when his mother and her boyfriend decide to drive their trailer to Vegas to get married. Luckily for Tommy, he’s just been chosen for jury duty. He manipulates the system to get put onto a case that will take a long time to prosecute so he can keep taking advantage of the free lodging and food (he gets himself into a fancy hotel suite while the rest of the jurors are staying in crappy rooms). Once jury deliberations begin, he continually stalls by claiming the defendant is innocent, pulling off his worst Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men impression (a scene of which literally features in this movie to hammer home to the audience what’s happening). All good things come to an end, though, when another juror, Monica (Tia Carrere) discovers Tommy’s plan. The judge declares a mistrial and the jury is dismissed. But Tommy believes in himself, discovers that the real killer was actually on the jury the whole time, and the killer is caught at the end thanks to plot conveniences. I laughed once during this movie, and it was near the beginning after a dumb but clever joke about tuna fish. While this was obviously written for Pauly Shore, I can’t actually put all the blame on him because the writing is dreadful and does him no favors. The three credited screenwriters are clearly trying to go for a Zucker brothers vibe with the humor a la The Naked Gun and Top Secret!, but they fail at almost every opportunity. That, along with way too many dated transphobia jokes, make this an absolute slog to watch. The real crime, though, is that this movie wastes an absolutely STACKED cast. Just look at this IMDB page! Along with Stanley Tucci and Shelley Winters (in a very small role as Tommy’s mom), this trash is filled with some amazing character actors. It’s such a shame that so much talent was wasted here. Regular movie rating: 2/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: 2/10 Bio-Dome – 1996 Not as bad as Jury Duty, but still terrible, Bio-Dome is the story of stoner best friends Bud (Pauly Shore) and Doyle (Stephen “Definitely the worst brother” Baldwin), who accidentally get trapped in a Bio-Dome—a yearlong environmental science experiment to see if humans can survive in a carefully crafted microcosm world. After completely destroying the experiment to the chagrin of the scientists inside, they realize that they owe it to everyone to try and save the dome. Several plot conveniences later, they do, and the movie mercifully ends. The first two thirds of this movie made me want to claw my eyes out, but the final third does have a handful of jokes that made me chuckle (though I literally can’t remember them even though I’m writing this 10 minutes after finishing the movie). My biggest issue with this film compared to other, much better stoner flicks, is that Bud and Doyle seemingly go out of their way to be complete inconsiderate assholes. They have less common sense than a six-year-old and are so selfish for most of the movie, it defies logic. Most of the “jokes” throughout the film are for their own amusement, as they constantly laugh at their own antics. There are also a couple of horribly dated “sexual assault for laughs” jokes, such as when Bud and Doyle sneak into bed with two of the female scientists (one of whom is played by Kylie Minogue). The high point of this movie is a very brief appearance from a young Tenacious D. Regular movie rating: 3/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: 3/10 The Curse of Inferno – 1997 Even though I grew up in the ‘90s and saw what I thought was every Pauly Shore movie that decade, I somehow never even heard of this. I only found out about it when looking at his IMDB page to see what order to watch these films in. It doesn't even have a Rotten Tomatoes score, and that site lists this as 1996, while IMDB lists it as 1997. Was this actually released in theaters? Regardless, this one was a surprise, as it’s not a “Pauly Shore movie,” but rather a movie with Pauly Shore in it. The Curse of Inferno is sort of a Coen Brothers-esque caper about two friends, Chuck (Pauly Shore) and Harold (Max Perlich), who rob a bank at the same time as two other robbers. They hide the money in the bank before escaping, but when Chuck has a change of heart and decides to return the money, he finds out it’s gone. The rest of the story is a bit of a mess. The money is actually being laundered by a greedy local businessman, Moles Huddenel (Ned Beatty), who wants to get it back. At the same time, the local sheriff (Blue Deckert) is also trying to get the money. And the police officer, Layla (Janine Turner), who Chuck falls in love with, is actually an FBI agent who’s using Chuck to take down Moles. Everything works out in the end, and the FBI take down both the sheriff and Moles. I was not expecting a “serious” Pauly Shore film. It’s not a great movie, but it’s definitely not terrible. Pauly does an admirable job reeling in his usual zaniness for a more restrained, dimwitted country boy character. The biggest problem is that the plot is just very convoluted. With a better script, this could’ve been a “diamond in the rough” film of his career. He certainly doesn’t have the acting chops of other comedians in serious roles like Robin Williams or Jim Carey, but I can’t help feeling that this film did him a disservice and might have dissuaded him from attempting other more serious roles in the future. I'd love to live in the alternate reality where Pauly Shore abandoned his past stereotypes and tried to be a real actor. Even though it’s not a great movie, I do recommend checking this one out simply for the novelty of seeing Pauly Shore in a drama. Regular movie rating: 5/10 Pauly Shore movie rating: Not applicable So, what did I learn from this marathon? Probably that Pauly Shore is exactly who I remembered him to be, but in another timeline, perhaps he could have been something more? His comedy is absolutely a relic of the '90s, and even though two of these movies were hot garbage, I am glad I decided to watch them all. He's still kicking around today and collecting paychecks, but the heyday of The Weasel is certainly over. submitted by /u/trpnblies7 to r/movies [link] [comments]

So, I, 18 m, went to homecoming three weekends ago with my girlfriend (17 F). For some context, me and my GF having been dating for the past 10 months. We had not been to a formal dance together yet. (We started dating after homecoming last year and I had gotten a super bad break in my leg from lacrosse the day before junior prom last year). We go to a school of just over 1000 kids and are both seniors. Our school told us homecoming was on 10/26 sometime in August. I asked her if she wanted to go with me and she said “I’d love to… as long as you keep all your bones intact this time.” After she said that we both laughed. leading up to the dance she sent me pictures of dresses that she liked and eventually settled on one. So I went to a mens dress clothing store and bought a pair of pants that matched the color of her dress. I already had a nice white long sleeve button up that my Mimi had got me for Easter. Now, I hate wearing suit jackets and ties/bow ties. The only times I have ever wore an actual suit w/ a tie and jacket, are on Easter Sunday (because my Mimi always sends me and my two brothers (one older, one younger) suits, and my three sisters (two younger, one older) very pretty dresses) and our mother makes us (the boys, not girls) wear what my Mimi sends, and I wore a suit (well, it was really a tux, but I don’t like them either) to my older sister’s wedding. when I got to homecoming my gf was already there (she had to go to a different state after so we couldn’t drive together). She said hi to me and we hung out for a while with our friends. At the end of the night, she dragged me off to the side and told me I embarrassed her by not wearing a suit. I told her that she was overreacting and that no one thought I was weird/embraasing for not wearing a tie or jacket. Now all her friends, my gf and even our moms are saying i am a d*ck and an a**hole for not wearing a more formal outfit. so, Am I the Bad Apple? edit: This was homecoming, not prom, I know that you are supposed to dress up for prom because it’s the big end of year thing, but I didn’t realize that homecoming was supposed to be the same dress wise. submitted by /u/Roe-reads to r/AmITheBadApple [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Ch-ee-rios Friend's father tried to light her wedding venue on fire boy-scout style after realizing she was 'for real' about marrying a woman Originally posted to r/CharlotteDobreYouTube Thanks to u/soayherder & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: bigotry, attempted arson, mental health issues, abuse Original Post Oct 13, 2024 To start, I'd like to say that I would ordinarily never make a post about people I know, but because I'm petty AND the friend in question has given me the vague go-ahead for an anonymous post, I figured it's only right that it gets posted here. You could probably call this a FILFH, but, well, I honestly don't think anyone is claiming him as their father. This happened about a year ago now. To set the scene, my darling dear friend- we'll call her Alice (F24) was getting married to her girlfriend (F23) of four years. We'll call her Jenny. From what I know, Alice and Jenny met when they were fifteen on their high school's cheerleading team and did not get along. I mean actual screaming matches in the parking lot type beat. I'm talking lawn chairs and popcorn were OUT when they got into it. Skip to a remarkable, earth-shattering junior year and Jenny's prom date just kissed Alice at the prom. When Alice (who is staunchly anti-cheaters and may or may not be plotting satanic rituals to perform upon such people as her mom was routinely accused of cheating despite no proof coming forth) found out that the guy was cheating, she and Jenny had a come to Jesus kumbaya where they proceeded to bond over messaging his parents and the entire basketball team in an act of sluuuuu-shaming him. Now for the relevant come-to. During this time, Alice and Jenny started staying over at each other's houses. It should be noted that Jenny and Alice are both very feminine and Jenny is black (I wish it wasn't relevant but it's a little relevant). Jenny met Alice's parents. I do want to say that I personally met Alice's parents during our collective freshman year of college, which is when I met Alice and Jenny. Her mom is a saint and I absolutely adore her- should she ever read this (which she almost definitely won't) then I would actually literally biblically take a bullet for you Mrs. J. Her dad (M48), we'll call him Chad, is a bit of a red-pill podcast listening loser, and that's if I'm being charitable. He's weirdly homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic while also ranting the ear off of anyone who will listen about how he's a savior of these people. I don't have all the details of what happened to make Jenny hate him, but I do know it has something to do with him repeatedly referring to her as 'the black chick' despite knowing her name. But I digress. Cut to college. I've just met Alice and Jenny, love them dearly, and have the misfortune of meeting Chad in the flesh. It should be noted that Alice came out when she was seventeen and Jenny's family is very supportive and has a few other queer family members within the unit. Despite Alice coming out as gay, her dad (and I have seen the texts I shit you not) said that it's "normal for everyone to have sexual feelings for the same gender. Don't worry about it and find a man to (redacted) you good enough that you forget about it." ....I wish I was joking, but he did send that text to his daughter. But it was at that time that I heard Alice and Jenny had just gotten together and I was happy for them, so Alice blocked Chad for a bit and all was well. Until the wedding. I know that Chad knows that Alice and Jenny are together. I know that Chad knows that Alice and Jenny got engaged. I WAS AT THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY WHERE HE WAS PRESENT. But apparently even reality can't stop Chad. It'd be iconic if only boldness wasn't wasted on the wretched. Chad also has a history of smoking no matter the location and pretending not to see no smoking signs. Still, Chad called Alice during a girls night, absolutely pissed that she was 'taking the joke this far' and had to stop living with Jenny or men would get the wrong idea. He started saying something about her biological clock and having his DNA when Alice very firmly cut him off and asked what he was talking about. Apparently, somehow, some way, Chad thought that her wedding invitations were a joke (it was a spinoff of the 'and they were roommates' joke, so on the invitation was a glittery pink 'and they were wives' that we'd designed after a few daiquiris). After a back and forth on speaker phone, Alice hung up after telling him that he was an idiot for thinking that she was in a longstanding joke about having a girlfriend for four years. You might be wondering where Alice's mom is in all of this: BLISSFULLY UNINVOLVED The best part of Mrs. J and Chad is that it's an open secret that she desperately wants to divorce him but won't until all of their children together are eighteen because she wants to 'preserve normalcy for the kids.' As of today, they should be getting a divorce in about five months. She very seriously makes her stance clear that she loves her children and is thrilled to welcome Jenny as her newest daughter. So, we get to the night before the wedding and we're JAZZED. I'm going back and forth between suites at this gorgeous venue passing notes between Jenny and Alice like they're lovesick teenagers. I'm doing the thing, we're giggling and having fun, and between both parties which just consists of our entire combined inner friend group from college including the he's, she's, and they's, we're having the best time. Until Chad walks into Jenny's suite. You heard that right. Jenny. Not Alice, his daughter. He was lucky to be invited to the wedding in my opinion, but this was insane and I only heard the half of it. Supposedly, he knocked on the door and walked into the room when someone opened it to ask what was up and he started laying into her on how she was a bitch, unclean, and pulled out printed photos of the devil according to the christian bible and left. So they're sitting there after this whirlwind and the guys are making sure Chad left. That's when I walk in, hear the situation, then rush back to Alice to make sure her room wasn't next on his hit list. Get this- Chad isn't religious. Like actually. Like literally. Also, according to Alice, he had stopped taking his medication a week prior to 'be more present at her wedding', but that medication was what kept him from hallucinating. We shook it off as best as possible and took an early night to chill before the wedding. BUT THEN WE GET TO THE WEDDING The ceremony? Gorgeous. Cocktail hour? Stunning. Their first dance? SOBBING. We went around giving speeches celebrating them when it gets to be Chad's turn to give a speech. Get this- no one can find him for about ten minutes. The party in particular is mad suspicious of this, but then Mrs. J sighed with the force of a woman who's been mentally divorced for a decade, got up from her chair, walked over to one of the beautiful wide floor-to-ceiling windows on every wall, then shines her phone flashlight out into the darkness where part of the party was going to take place. The lights were going to be turned on when they walked out after the dinner. And there Chad was. In all his lack of glory, in his suit, trying to wiggle dry sticks together boy-scout style to set a fire to the lawn. Remember how I said he was a prolific smoker? Yep. He most certainly had a lighter in his pocket, but in the moment he had resorted to pulling sticks in a hallucinatory daze. Now, I know you're probably wanting to write his behavior off on his medication. Don't. This man has been drunk texting his children for years about them being/not being biologically worthy. He has been abusing his wife for years. He is damn lucky anyone is still willing to talk to him after he has threatened to unalive several people over the years including his daughters and son. He is not a good person. His hallucinations started three or so years ago. He has stated that he prefers being angry and bitter because that means he is smarter. Anger equals intelligence in this man's eyes. He waited no more than thirteen hours after his wife's father died to tell everyone how much he always hated him. Her grief was less important than his feelings. He has no room for love in his heart, even on his daughter's wedding day. If you couldn't tell, he didn't succeed in setting fire to their venue and was ushered home for a nap. He also didn't succeed in ruining their wedding day. I have a few more Chad stories from my personal beef with him and a little more on why none of his children talk to him if you'd like to hear them. I'm considered a close family friend of six years now, which is why I know a lot of this. We're keeping this anon so we should be good EDIT: I wanted to clarify a few things I didn't add When Chad was outside wiggling sticks together, he was doing so on one of the tables outside where the rest of the reception was going to take place with more dancing. Since this was an autumn wedding, there were enough dried leaves that he grabbed a handful and put them on the table. He wasn't exactly yelling when he was driven home, but he was talking about how the whole thing should burn, then demanded Mrs. J bring him a slice of wedding cake. To my knowledge, she did not. ​ Chad was given a speech at the wedding because he promised to let Alice and Jenny proofread it beforehand. Mrs. J was going to proofread it originally, but Chad accused her of trying to tamper with it, so she walked away. Chad was allowed at the wedding at all because he wasn't even the one walking her down the aisle- Alice and Jenny had their moms do that. He didn't have a ton of responsibility and up until the night before, he'd been on a two month stretch of being relatively normal. He'd been taking his medication and seemed to be putting in the work to improve their relationship. Then he stopped taking his medication consciously. ​ Whenever Chad is asked about why he tried to light the venue on fire (albeit poorly), he states that that never happened. Sometimes he'll joke and say that he was just try to set up a bonfire for his 'little girl' to remind them of when they used to go camping. Spoiler: he went camping with Alice's younger sister, not Alice. He has always mixed up his children, this isn't new. ​ Chad is still in Alice and Jenny's life. He started taking his medication again immediately after the wedding followed by a text saying that Alice was being unfair for letting her own father leave. He's normal half the time, but I suspect that when Alice and Jenny start welcoming kidlets into their family, they'll go lower or no contact. They currently see him twice a month. RELEVANT COMMENTS Lopsided_Giraffe9846 I'm glad he didn't ruin their wedding. To answer your question hell yes we want to hear more stories. OOP So something kind of interesting about Chad is that he's Smart(TM). In fact, he's so smart that he out-thought the military. Earlier this year his number one Chad Conversation Topic was about how he got an email from the top of the Navy telling him that he was right about everything and they wish he was still active duty so he could tell the world about how vaccinations are fake and Corona was an inside job. He actually told me about this personally. When I asked to see the message, he explained that it was top secret and considered a military insider and that he shouldn't even be telling people about it. ....he then walked over to the next group of people at the fourth of july party to tell them about it. He stopped talking to me altogether soon after I mentioned that I'm not from the US, so there's that Update Oct 25, 2024 Original Post: Friend's father tried to light her wedding venue on fire boy-scout style after realizing she was 'for real' about marrying a woman : If you didn't see the original, please give that a skim because it sets the stage for what happened at Alice and Jenny's one year wedding anniversary party a few days ago. It's also the tiniest bit of an AITA lmao I'd like to say that I also just don't feel bad about this AND I'm more than willing to accept that I'm an a-hole. In the last two weeks, my original post had our friend group talking a little bit more about what happened during Alice and Jenny's wedding last year. It should be noted that they were 22/23 when they got married and 23/24 now, but most of our friend group is between 21 and 25. A lot of us are still in the last legs of university or grad school right now. I am not from the states. I'm 22 and just started grad school this past year. Their anniversary party was last Saturday so that everyone could attend, but it's not their actual anniversary date. Both Alice and Jenny have pretty well-paying jobs for being relatively fresh out of university, but it's not super surprising since they had fantastic internships in college and got hired through these companies. They have a good-sized place (not a house because literally who can afford that) and just adopted two cats and a retired service dog. In comes Chad. Oh, Chad. Basically, one of the main issues with Chad and I in particular is that I'm not from the states. I still have an accent, since English is not my first language (but I'm absolutely fluent and you can hardly hear my accent at all imo). I'm also pretty pale, so that's why I'm guessing he didn't realize it sooner into our vague acquaintanceship through Alice. I'm also the only person in the friend group that wasn't born in America, but our friend group is very diverse besides that. After the catastrophe of the wedding, it's a shock that Chad was allowed to come to the party at all. He did, however, seem to get better in the last few months and Jenny in particular is very forgiving, so she pushed to invite him. This was fine for the most part, since Chad was actually genuinely looking to have gotten a little more normal. I wrote my original post in the mindset of a person who hasn't interacted with Chad in well over three months. Supposedly he switched up his medication and seems to be more normal and I was actually sort of happy for Alice. As much as I dislike the man, I want Alice to have this part of her support system. But then we get to the party. Chad was super respectful and thankful about the invitation to the party- up until a week before when he asked, out of the blue, "is (ch-ee-rios) coming?" Alice replied that yes, of course I'm going (and I made them a cake!!). Radio silence since then until the day of the party, where Chad sent a text saying he was on the way. Chad walks in, and who does he see? Oh yeah, ME. I was by the door chatting with a friend when Chad walks in, looks at me, and just says "you mother(redacted)." I know Chad isn't my biggest fan, but I was a little taken aback considering this is the first time Chad has talked to me since the July 4 party. I tried to make a joke with finger guns and say "you mother(redacted)" right back to him, but he didn't think it was very funny. Instead, he decided to tell me how immigrants are going to hell. Like, bro, hello to you too? Well, he told me that he didn't want to see me for the rest of the party and that I should leave and never come back OR avoid him for the rest of our lives. I did tell Alice and Jenny about this the other day, but they didn't hear a word about this exchange for the rest of the night. You might be wondering why. The fun thing about this party was that there were many planned games. Planned partner games, even, where you could choose your partner. Charades, Cards Against Humanity, blind drawing, pictionary, a scavenger hunt, and a fun murder mystery to round off the night. All two-person adjusted partnership games that Alice and Jenny planned so that everyone could have fun whether or not they were drinking. If you haven't guessed what I did just yet, I want you to just imagine what I could have done with this information, this conversation, and the knowledge that literally NO ONE there wanted to be Chad's babysitter for the night. Every single time it was called for people to find a partner, I latched on like a tapeworm, a leech, even a glued-down magnet on metal. Every time Chad tried to find a new partner or sit out, I was there. There was one point where I literally jumped over the side of the couch just to keep him from partnering with Alice so that she could enjoy her anniversary, because I could tell that he was going to say something about me to her and she would've gotten upset about it, then Jenny would've been upset, then Chad would've yelled- so I just cut out the middle man. Every time he tried to make a comment about me, I'd talk loud and proud right over him. He'd try to pull out a cigarette and smoke indoors? I'd snatch it out of his hand, thank him for the offer, and stuff it in my pocket. He'd try to run off? I'd offer to grab us 'buddies' drinks mid-game. He'd try to complain to someone? I'd LOUDLY laugh and say "wow what a funny joke, CHAD. Right, CHAD? Wasn't that a JOKE? At Alice's ANNIVERSARY PARTY?" At any point, if he walked away, I was right on his heels, telling him all about where I lived before moving to the states. Eventually I think I broke part of his nasty, no-good spirit, because at the end of the night he was nearly falling asleep on the couch before he was ushered into a car. If you're wondering, I only grabbed him mocktails. The guy couldn't even use alcohol as an escape. I was also absolutely exhausted, but the only thing he managed to say to Alice was a tired congratulations and a complaint about the booze, so she was pretty happy. Jenny was also thrilled that her father-in-law didn't manage any racist remarks to her. To be perfectly honest? I was kind of miserable the whole night, but that's what friends are for. The party wasn't for me to get absolutely sloshed (despite that being the plan). It was for Alice to enjoy her party and try her best to maintain her low-contact relationship with her dad. If it were me, I'd cut contact with no sweat off my back. But it's not my relationship, and (thankfully) that's not my father. It's not my decision to make, but I do feel a little vindicated in knowing that I made Chad's night his worst nightmare. Mrs. J also had a good time as far as I know, but part of my mission was also letting her have a night off from being Chad's babysitter, so I avoided her at all costs. Anywho, I made myself the sacrificial lamb last week. I'm definitely at least a little bit of an a-hole, but I think I could make a business out of being the ultimate FIL distracter. (Also, because I have a feeling someone will say it, Chad is no more fond of me than he was before. I expect that he'll try even harder to avoid me next time!) EDIT: For those of you asking for Mrs. J's reaction, I can deliver. So, this happened last Saturday, but I only got to meet back up with Alice and Jenny on Wednesday this week. I was meeting them at my apartment for our Wednesday movie extravaganza that we've been doing since sophomore year of university and of course we were chatting about their engagement party. Now, something about me is that I can't keep my mouth shut to save my life, okay? I'm a professional yapper of anything that I haven't been explicitly told not to share. I'm a secret keeper until death, but everything else is fair game unless there's a clear indication that it shouldn't be shared around (embarrassing, excessively personal, etc). Alice said that Mrs. J had commented on their usual phone call that apparently Chad had been pretty upset since the party. Not in a violent way, but in the way a toddler pouts about being put in time-out. I immediately started laughing my butt off about it and shared what had happened that night. Alice was a little upset that Chad had to be corralled into behaving, but was ultimately happy that I put a stop to any antics. Jenny just found it funny in general and asked me if I hire out my services for weddings. Alice also called Mrs. J and put her on speakerphone and said that she had to hear about me 'saving the night.' Mrs. J actually asked me if I wanted payment for it. She said this mostly joking, but I could tell she was at least a little serious. She said that she'd been really anxious for the first half of the night about Chad doing something insane to ruin the night and that it serves him right for being an idiot and that he'd made other comments about my immigration status before. Apparently, they'd gotten into a minor argument the morning of, so she'd been convinced he would lash out somehow. I guess I not only saved the party, but also made Chad chill for the week. I didn't let her pay me of course, but Alice and Jenny dropped off a bottle of vintage red today so I'm happy as a clam I am a little concerned that my actions might have made him a little violent, but I don't think Mrs. J would stay if he did considering she's already plotting divorce. RELEVANT COMMENTS Starting2loseit28 Please tell me that your friends found out so that they can grab you a gift basket for having to deal with the FIL from hell OOP Alice was a little upset that Chad wasn't being nice for the sake of it and that he did have to be heavily corralled by me, but they did find it funny. No gift baskets were given, but I did get a yumalicious bottle of red for my efforts ~ Familiar_Currency156 OP! You are NTA, you are, however a goddamned legend! You put in some serious labor to make sure your friends had an amazing time at their anniversary party, all the while making fucking Chad miserable. And most impressive, you kept him from running his mouth. You did the lords work, OP. Thanks for all you’ve done and continue to do. 🫡 And when/if Chad Chads again, please let us know. I truly enjoy your writing, I just wish it didn’t have to come at your friends’ expense. OOP I didn't keep him from running his mouth entirely, but I did manage to put out any fires he was trying to start. It was a looooong four hours but I'm willing to do it again to preserve Alice and Jenny's peace and quiet for the foreseeable future!! I don't anticipate that Chad will be showing up to any event that I'm also at for a good long while, but maybe I'll plan my due diligence at Thanksgiving if Mrs. J or Alice and Jenny host..... ;) THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I 36 female was asked by my sister in law to be her bridesmaid. First off let me say that I love and respect my sister in law. She is an amazing and kind person and I’m so grateful to have her in my life. We are very close and get along 100% of the time with little to no disagreements about anything. She recently asked me if I would be one of her bridesmaids and I asked her if I would have to wear a dress. She said yes and I declined. I explained to her I don’t feel comfortable at all wearing dresses. Dresses make me feel exposed almost like I’m naked. Even the thought of wearing a dress makes feel nauseous and panicked. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and don’t do well standing up in front of crowds. I was a bridesmaid for my sister about 14 years ago where I had to wear a dress and stand in front of a lot of people and it was nerve wracking. The anxiety and feeling of being exposed and stared at was almost too much for me to bare. I told my sister in law about this and she said “you did that for your sister?” I explained that the only reason I did was bc my other sister declined to be her bridesmaid and I felt obligated to even though I was freaking out on the inside. My sister in law has offered all kinds of bridesmaid attire ideas like wearing leather jackets but all the ideas she has are dresses and I really don’t feel comfortable at all wearing one. The only times I have ever worn a dress was when I was around the ages of 5-6 for picture day at school, prom(which I was forced to go to with my friend bc my boyfriend felt bad for him not having a date to go with) and my sisters wedding. For even more context I’m not a girly girl, never have been. As a child I played with Barbies, Batman and ninja turtles. Where most girls wanted to dress up as princesses for Halloween I wanted to be Batman and Donatello. I’ve always had mostly guy friends bc I just feel I relate more to guys than girls. I’ve always had a “dude” sense of humor. Dark, fart and dick jokes. I don’t paint my nails and dress up in girly outfits. I rarely even wear makeup these days. I mostly wear tee shirts, leggings and hoodies bc I feel most comfortable in that. I know it’s hard for my sister in law to understand bc she is stunningly beautiful and wears dresses all the time and she feels good wearing that kind of stuff. When I wear a dress I just feel naked and anxious. I know her wedding day is her day and it’s not about me and I feel really bad for declining her offer to be her bridesmaid. At the same time I don’t feel like I should have to put myself in a position that makes me feel exposed and on the verge of tears and vomiting. Am I the asshole? EDIT This is only my second Reddit post ever so I’m not really sure how to update in order to try to answer everyone’s questions. Let me just say first and foremost I am a straight woman. I’m not confused about my gender. I’m just not a feminine woman. I lean more masculine, not to the point where I get mistaken for a man but I have had quite a few lesbian women approach me thinking I was a lesbian based on how I look and carry myself. For my own wedding I was horrified of the idea of having to be in front of a bunch of people and wear a dress so my husband and I opted to get married by a justice of the peace in a backyard with 2 witnesses. I wore gray skinny jeans, men’s vans high top sneakers, a TMNT hoodie and makeup. I do have problems with my anxiety. I have my whole life. I’m not trying to over use that word or use it as a cop out. It’s literally been a life long struggle for me. Some things are worse than others for me. Wearing a dress being one of them. I feel about as uncomfortable as my husband would wearing a dress. It’s not something that feels right to me and for the few times I have worn dresses in my life it was never my choice. I have seen a therapist in the past and I loved it. It actually helped a lot bc I used to let my anxiety turn into anger which I know longer do. The anxiety of wearing a dress and standing in front of a crowd doesn’t affect my daily life bc I choose to not wear dresses and stand in front of crowds. These things are not things I feel that I need to do in my life so I avoid them. My SIL is well aware of the kind of woman I am and she knew asking me to wear a dress was more than likely going to be a no but she did ask me bc she wants to include me. I get that and I love her for it. I just know if I wore a dress at her wedding I would be having some really bad anxiety issues and I don’t want my issues to get in the way of her having a nice wedding bc wedding days can be very stressful especially for the bride. I did tell her if she really wants me as a bridesmaid I would be much more comfortable in a suit or dress pants and a dress shirt but she said she wants bridesmaid dresses which is fine and I don’t expect her to change her vision for me bc it’s not my day. That’s why I declined her offer to be a bridesmaid. She has since continued to try to get me to agree to wear a dress and I have continued to tell her it makes me uncomfortable. She hasn’t been mean about it or anything. She’s just very set on it. I have offered to make her bouquet and help decorate her wedding and I’m most definitely going to be there attending as a guest. I’m more than likely just going to buy some black slacks, a simple dress top and some black dress shoes to wear to her wedding. Still formal just not super feminine. Also the last few paragraphs were just to describe my personality for reference. I’m not really good at writing and my wording sucks. I don’t think I’m special by any means. I’m not someone that likes to draw attention to myself. Quite the opposite, I like to disappear in the background. Even at family gatherings I tend to duck off by myself or by my husband. I just feel more comfortable that way. My husband’s family are amazing caring people. It took me a long time to get comfortable around them but when I finally did it felt so good. They actually opened my eyes to what a loving supportive family looks like. They also know I struggle with my anxiety and self worth and they love me through it. I’m so grateful to them for that. I guess that’s why I also feel guilt for having this struggle. submitted by /u/Coldenbear to r/TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Educational-Law-226 Originally posted to r/AITAH [New Update] - Husband overhears OOP telling her friend that settling isn't the worst thing in the world. Previous BoRU: Originally posted by u/Stephenallen1977 Editor’s Note: added small notes to help clarify up some details NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH -------- Trigger Warnings: childhood bullying, possible repressed trauma Mood Spoilers: Positive RECAP AITAH for telling my friend that being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world? 16th August 2023 My friend Anna and I were talking about her dating life. Anna is an incredibly beautiful woman and she could have her pick of men. She broke up with her boyfriend because she was out of his league and he knew it. He would act in insecure ways. Anna stated that she didn’t want to settle for someone less than the best. She asked me why would anyone settle and brought up my marriage as a positive example of love. I told her that my husband settled for me and he wasn’t attracted to me and we still had a happy marriage. Being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world. My husband Allan and I are happily married high school sweethearts. He was heavily bullied in middle and high school. When I moved into his hometown in sophomore year, I stood up for him. By the end of senior year, he had friends and he asked me to prom. 10 years later, we are happily married. However, I know that my husband doesn’t find me attractive. I’m naturally taller and more muscular than the average woman. It’s a huge insecurity of mine. A year after we married, my husband drunkenly confessed that he didn’t find me attractive (he prefers petite women with delicate facial features) but he was grateful for what I did and felt obliged to thank me. Which is why he asked me out to prom, why we dated throughout college, why he proposed. He still loved me very much but wasn’t attracted to me. The next morning he was hungover and had forgotten his confession. He doesn’t drink much because he doesn’t have a filter and tells the unvarnished truth. I felt crushed but our marriage was very good otherwise. I never told him what he said that night. He was a great husband. I don’t think most men are attracted to the way I look anyways. I explained this all to Anna and she was grateful for the advice. That night, Allan started crying. He was crying silently but I woke up. I hugged him and asked what was wrong and he admitted he overheard our conversation. I didn’t expect him to overhear since I was in the basement but he heard his name and decided to listen in. I apologized for hurting his feelings but it just made him sob harder. I don’t know what I did wrong/if I did anything wrong? AITA? Edit: I wasn’t advising Anna to settle. She would never be happy settling for someone. I just told her that settling isn’t the worst thing in the world and my marriage is one of settlement. My husband settled for me and we’re happy. My advice was to stay true to herself and her beliefs. If she’s not happy, then the relationship can’t move forward. RELEVANT COMMENTS I don't think you are the asshole in this absolutely not in anyway. But I am curious if your husband ended up talking to you about it? OOP: No, we haven’t really gotten around to it. He’s been down for the past few days and any time I’ve tried to gently prod him, he started crying and I comforted him. I’ve decided to leave it alone until he feels comfortable to talk but I feel guilty in case I did something wrong to hurt him that deeply NTA but you need to talk to your husband about this. Either he is really struggling with guilt about his confession or is really triggering with unhappiness in the relationship, and either way you two need to talk about it. Also whew you are a saint for dealing with that confession so gracefully. OOP: I have tried to talk to him about what he overheard. He has just started crying, sometimes even sobbing, and I just comforted him. I didn’t want to hurt him more so I’ve left the topic alone for now until he can tell me how he feels. I don’t think he’s unhappy in our relationship but you never know. I wish I was a saint. It would probably hurt less but I love my husband and didn’t want to hurt him by bringing up his confession ever. It sounds like he thinks you think you settled for a guy who doesn’t find you attractive. Like he broke both your hearts. OOP: I didn’t settle for him. I’m lucky to be in this relationship at all No, i hope you don’t believe that.. what I’m saying is is that maybe that is the reason for his his tears. I do think you are both need to have a loving convo. I meant what I said about him feeling like he broke both of your hearts because I would have felt that way. Both devastated to have said it and devastated that the person I loved would have heard it, you know. OOP: I hope that’s not why he’s crying. I’ve long since moved past it. In fact, since I was young I didn’t think that there would be people who would be attracted to me. So, it hurt many years back but even then I wasn’t shocked, probably because I had already gotten used to the idea of no one being attracted to me. I’m grateful my husband loves me and I’ve told him that. I would be kind of worried that he’s been considering separation…. You should really look into scheduling some couples therapy to mediate what’s going on here… regardless, him being this upset warrants him seeing a professional outside of the relationship that he can confide in. I’m very sorry OP OOP If he’s considering separation I’d be heartbroken but I’d have to support him. He doesn’t deserve to be in a marriage where he isn’t happy and if he wants someone he is attracted to, he has to leave me. I’ll let him know that it’s okay if he wants to separate and bring up couples therapy. Overall Judgement - NTA   (Update) AITAH for telling my friend being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world? 27th August 2023 Hello, I’m back with a short update. I got a lot of messages on my post and it was a bit overwhelming. I want to say I am a people pleaser not just for my husband but for my friends and family too. I want them to be happy. I love my husband and want the best for him. We are very monogamous and I value fidelity. We had sessions of couples therapy and he now has a personal therapist. It was surprisingly easy to find someone that suited us but I did pay a lot of money for our sessions but they left me feeling baffled. Our counselor was a no nonsense but comforting older woman. We went through our life, how he was bullied, how we met, how we married, our careers. I told her about how he had drunkenly told me he wasn’t attracted to me but that didn’t matter because we loved each other and I don’t know what made him upset. She asked us honestly if we wouldn’t be happier as best friends but married to other people. Allan adamantly said no. She brought up affection, sex life, those things. We told her we had an active sex life with a couple quirks and we’re very affectionate, etc. which she focused on. She basically said someone is lying at some point because you can’t have all of those thing together. She asked Allan to walk through his attraction and he snapped and said he didn’t want to talk of having disgusting/bad thoughts about me. It was a very long conversation after and I’m still confused but essentially he thought that anyone sexualizing or having those kinds of thoughts about me was bad, especially other people. He loved me for me. It wasn’t even about me being his wife, or me being a woman, or those common things. He thought anyone who had thoughts about me was bad and I should be protected from them. Allan told the counselor that I was too soft and gentle and pure to think that there are bad thoughts about me and bad people. I’ve never heard that before from anyone. I told our counselor nothing bad has happened to me. I was worried if Allan had trauma in his past that made him wary of others since he had been bullied so viciously in school but he said that I was thinking of him again and I should think about myself. He said I still didn’t realize that the world is scary for me. The counselor asked about any guilt he felt about attraction and he broke down. A couple of years ago, I had intensive surgery and Allan helped me with everything, even eating, showering, and getting around. He confessed that when he helped me with bathing or dressing me, he accidentally looked more than he should and he could feel that I was starting to realize he was having those thoughts about me and shut down. I don’t really remember that but he’s my husband. I didn’t and don’t mind if he looks. He talked about how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. My counselor said I have grown up to think of others wants and desires above my own and I do have people pleasing tendencies but on the whole I’m pretty mentally healthy. I got a few booklets and packets to fill out. My husband was told he needed intensive therapy as soon as possible. He had his first session a few days ago. I don’t know where this is going or what happened to make him think the way he does. He didn’t grow up in a religious environment. His parents are very affectionate and have a strong marriage. I still love and support my husband. RELEVANT COMMENTS Oh wow! This is NOT how I expected the update to go but it makes so much sense. I thought YOU would have had the serious trauma and that's where the people pleasing tendencies come from. Turns out that doesn't have anything below it and your husband has the serious trauma. I'm glad he is getting help, and it sounds to me like he said that because he was projecting his own shame for being SO attracted to you. I hope that he has significant healing from his trauma, and that you can start to heal your self esteem now that you know that none of this was a reflection of you at all. OOP I have no real trauma. I get up happy, healthy, and well loved. I’ve always been a people minded person. I’ve taken care of my siblings as the oldest daughter but that was because I wanted to, not because my parents forced me to. Because I was taller and looked older than the other children, I’ve alway been treated as older and more mature than my age. It was what confused me about my husbands comments on me being more innocent and basically more naive than others and how worried he was about me. No one has ever said that about me. I don’t know where my husband’s trauma comes from but we’ll work through it together. I know he will heal and we’ll be stronger. Wow. Hubby feels guilty for being attracted to you while he was your caregiver. He doesn't realize many men would leave if wife were sick. I hope he finds why he feels like this. OOP He feels that it’s bad or evil for anyone to have those thoughts about me. I don’t know why. Allan was wonderful during my recovery. I never felt uncomfortable at all. I know many husbands that wouldn’t care for their wives like he did. I don’t know why he feels guilty. He said he was supposed to take care of me but subconsciously had those bad thoughts and looked more than he should. But I don’t know why any thoughts of being attracted to my body as my husband are bad to him. He’s my husband. Wow. Your husband is pretty much worshipping you to the point that he views that to desire you sexually is a sin. In other words, he is basically marrying his Virgin Mary so no one could taint her image. So in his beliefs, you have to be out of his league, because there is no way for him to reach his goddess. Yes he does need therapy, this is not how the marriage work. You love him and he loves you, but he is about to place you on the altar and to sing his rosary. That is not healthy.   ----NEW UPDATE---- (Update 2) AITAH for telling my friend being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world?: February 23, 2024 (six months later) Hello I am back with some updates. My husband Allan and I still go to marriage counseling but he quit therapy because he said it made him worse. We found out a lot during therapy. Much of his trauma came from school where he was being brutally bullied. The adults turned a blind eye, his friends abandoned him, and he couldn’t tell his parents. So he felt alone until I arrived. I was well liked and because I protected him the bullies stopped and people were nice to him again. He loved me and saw me as his savior. The problem was his mental state wasn’t good. I think my husband was in the process of being diagnosed, but he has intrusive thoughts. I’ve always been taller and more muscular than other kids and treated as older. I’m still obviously female, just one that’s naturally taller and stouter. With beauty standards emphasizing small and thin, I always felt weird about my body. But that doesn’t stop creepy men and it didn’t stop teenage boys. And his bullies made comments about me that are degrading but not atypical for cruel teenage boys. Some of what they said matched his thoughts because they were normal thoughts, intrusive thoughts, or just fantasies. He had a lot of fantasies and a lot of intrusive thoughts about me. It confirmed to him that people have bad thoughts about me and he is just as bad but the difference was he could control it. So he made a decision not to be attracted to me. He said the more he got to know me, the more pure and precious I seemed and the less he could let the rot out. He had to keep me safe because the world would destroy me. And the comments he made when he was drunk was one of deep denial and trying to reassure me that he didn’t have disgusting thought about me. That does explain some things about how my husband behaves around me and especially in the bedroom. It also explains why he’s very protective of me. He’s always been an adoring husband which is at odds with someone who is not attracted to me. The bathtub memory affected him a lot because he could rationalize a lot of things but for the first time I was vulnerable physically and in need of his help and his fantasies and intrusive thoughts got worse. Some of the therapy was to try to get me off the pedestal but it didn’t really work and his intrusive thoughts got worse. He said he had to quit and I supported him. He told me some of his fantasies and some were normal and some were disturbing I told him that I loved and trusted him. Our marriage is strong and I will stay by his side and help him. RELEVANT COMMENT llamadrama2021 Maybe a different therapist? He can't continue to live this way. It will eat him up inside. OOP He is averse to the thought of therapy now. It’s good that he still comes to marriage counseling. I don’t want to push him to something that makes him uncomfortable but I do want him to find a therapist. I will do some research to find a better therapist. My plan is to help him feel more comfortable and then when he is better, suggest therapy again.   THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/Educational-Law-226 in r/AITAH trigger warnings: childhood bullying, possible repressed trauma mood spoilers: positive AITAH for telling my friend that being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world? - 16th August 2023 My friend Anna and I were talking about her dating life. Anna is an incredibly beautiful woman and she could have her pick of men. She broke up with her boyfriend because she was out of his league and he knew it. He would act in insecure ways. Anna stated that she didn’t want to settle for someone less than the best. She asked me why would anyone settle and brought up my marriage as a positive example of love. I told her that my husband settled for me and he wasn’t attracted to me and we still had a happy marriage. Being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world. My husband Allan and I are happily married high school sweethearts. He was heavily bullied in middle and high school. When I moved into his hometown in sophomore year, I stood up for him. By the end of senior year, he had friends and he asked me to prom. 10 years later, we are happily married. However, I know that my husband doesn’t find me attractive. I’m naturally taller and more muscular than the average woman. It’s a huge insecurity of mine. A year after we married, my husband drunkenly confessed that he didn’t find me attractive (he prefers petite women with delicate facial features) but he was grateful for what I did and felt obliged to thank me. Which is why he asked me out to prom, why we dated throughout college, why he proposed. He still loved me very much but wasn’t attracted to me. The next morning he was hungover and had forgotten his confession. He doesn’t drink much because he doesn’t have a filter and tells the unvarnished truth. I felt crushed but our marriage was very good otherwise. I never told him what he said that night. He was a great husband. I don’t think most men are attracted to the way I look anyways. I explained this all to Anna and she was grateful for the advice. That night, Allan started crying. He was crying silently but I woke up. I hugged him and asked what was wrong and he admitted he overheard our conversation. I didn’t expect him to overhear since I was in the basement but he heard his name and decided to listen in. I apologized for hurting his feelings but it just made him sob harder. I don’t know what I did wrong/if I did anything wrong? AITA? Edit: I wasn’t advising Anna to settle. She would never be happy settling for someone. I just told her that settling isn’t the worst thing in the world and my marriage is one of settlement. My husband settled for me and we’re happy. My advice was to stay true to herself and her beliefs. If she’s not happy, then the relationship can’t move forward. Comments I don't think you are the asshole in this absolutely not in anyway. But I am curious if your husband ended up talking to you about it? No, we haven’t really gotten around to it. He’s been down for the past few days and any time I’ve tried to gently prod him, he started crying and I comforted him. I’ve decided to leave it alone until he feels comfortable to talk but I feel guilty in case I did something wrong to hurt him that deeply ​ NTA but you need to talk to your husband about this. Either he is really struggling with guilt about his confession or is really triggering with unhappiness in the relationship, and either way you two need to talk about it. Also whew you are a saint for dealing with that confession so gracefully. I have tried to talk to him about what he overheard. He has just started crying, sometimes even sobbing, and I just comforted him. I didn’t want to hurt him more so I’ve left the topic alone for now until he can tell me how he feels. I don’t think he’s unhappy in our relationship but you never know. I wish I was a saint. It would probably hurt less but I love my husband and didn’t want to hurt him by bringing up his confession ever. ​ It sounds like he thinks you think you settled for a guy who doesn’t find you attractive. Like he broke both your hearts. I didn’t settle for him. I’m lucky to be in this relationship at all ​ No, i hope you don’t believe that.. what I’m saying is is that maybe that is the reason for his his tears. I do think you are both need to have a loving convo. I meant what I said about him feeling like he broke both of your hearts because I would have felt that way. Both devastated to have said it and devastated that the person I loved would have heard it, you know. I hope that’s not why he’s crying. I’ve long since moved past it. In fact, since I was young I didn’t think that there would be people who would be attracted to me. So, it hurt many years back but even then I wasn’t shocked, probably because I had already gotten used to the idea of no one being attracted to me. I’m grateful my husband loves me and I’ve told him that. ​ I would be kind of worried that he’s been considering separation…. You should really look into scheduling some couples therapy to mediate what’s going on here… regardless, him being this upset warrants him seeing a professional outside of the relationship that he can confide in. I’m very sorry OP If he’s considering separation I’d be heartbroken but I’d have to support him. He doesn’t deserve to be in a marriage where he isn’t happy and if he wants someone he is attracted to, he has to leave me. I’ll let him know that it’s okay if he wants to separate and bring up couples therapy. ​ Overall Judgement - NTA (Update) AITAH for telling my friend being settled for isn’t the worst thing in the world? - 27th August 2023 Hello, I’m back with a short update. I got a lot of messages on my post and it was a bit overwhelming. I want to say I am a people pleaser not just for my husband but for my friends and family too. I want them to be happy. I love my husband and want the best for him. We are very monogamous and I value fidelity. We had sessions of couples therapy and he now has a personal therapist. It was surprisingly easy to find someone that suited us but I did pay a lot of money for our sessions but they left me feeling baffled. Our counselor was a no nonsense but comforting older woman. We went through our life, how he was bullied, how we met, how we married, our careers. I told her about how he had drunkenly told me he wasn’t attracted to me but that didn’t matter because we loved each other and I don’t know what made him upset. She asked us honestly if we wouldn’t be happier as best friends but married to other people. Allan adamantly said no. She brought up affection, sex life, those things. We told her we had an active sex life with a couple quirks and we’re very affectionate, etc. which she focused on. She basically said someone is lying at some point because you can’t have all of those thing together. She asked Allan to walk through his attraction and he snapped and said he didn’t want to talk of having disgusting/bad thoughts about me. It was a very long conversation after and I’m still confused but essentially he thought that anyone sexualizing or having those kinds of thoughts about me was bad, especially other people. He loved me for me. It wasn’t even about me being his wife, or me being a woman, or those common things. He thought anyone who had thoughts about me was bad and I should be protected from them. Allan told the counselor that I was too soft and gentle and pure to think that there are bad thoughts about me and bad people. I’ve never heard that before from anyone. I told our counselor nothing bad has happened to me. I was worried if Allan had trauma in his past that made him wary of others since he had been bullied so viciously in school but he said that I was thinking of him again and I should think about myself. He said I still didn’t realize that the world is scary for me. The counselor asked about any guilt he felt about attraction and he broke down. A couple of years ago, I had intensive surgery and Allan helped me with everything, even eating, showering, and getting around. He confessed that when he helped me with bathing or dressing me, he accidentally looked more than he should and he could feel that I was starting to realize he was having those thoughts about me and shut down. I don’t really remember that but he’s my husband. I didn’t and don’t mind if he looks. He talked about how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. My counselor said I have grown up to think of others wants and desires above my own and I do have people pleasing tendencies but on the whole I’m pretty mentally healthy. I got a few booklets and packets to fill out. My husband was told he needed intensive therapy as soon as possible. He had his first session a few days ago. I don’t know where this is going or what happened to make him think the way he does. He didn’t grow up in a religious environment. His parents are very affectionate and have a strong marriage. I still love and support my husband. ​ Comments Oh wow! This is NOT how I expected the update to go but it makes so much sense. I thought YOU would have had the serious trauma and that's where the people pleasing tendencies come from. Turns out that doesn't have anything below it and your husband has the serious trauma. I'm glad he is getting help, and it sounds to me like he said that because he was projecting his own shame for being SO attracted to you. I hope that he has significant healing from his trauma, and that you can start to heal your self esteem now that you know that none of this was a reflection of you at all. I have no real trauma. I get up happy, healthy, and well loved. I’ve always been a people minded person. I’ve taken care of my siblings as the oldest daughter but that was because I wanted to, not because my parents forced me to. Because I was taller and looked older than the other children, I’ve alway been treated as older and more mature than my age. It was what confused me about my husbands comments on me being more innocent and basically more naive than others and how worried he was about me. No one has ever said that about me. ​ I don’t know where my husband’s trauma comes from but we’ll work through it together. I know he will heal and we’ll be stronger. ​ Wow. Hubby feels guilty for being attracted to you while he was your caregiver. He doesn't realize many men would leave if wife were sick. I hope he finds why he feels like this. He feels that it’s bad or evil for anyone to have those thoughts about me. I don’t know why. ​ Allan was wonderful during my recovery. I never felt uncomfortable at all. I know many husbands that wouldn’t care for their wives like he did. I don’t know why he feels guilty. He said he was supposed to take care of me but subconsciously had those bad thoughts and looked more than he should. But I don’t know why any thoughts of being attracted to my body as my husband are bad to him. He’s my husband. ​ Wow. Your husband is pretty much worshipping you to the point that he views that to desire you sexually is a sin. In other words, he is basically marrying his Virgin Mary so no one could taint her image. So in his beliefs, you have to be out of his league, because there is no way for him to reach his goddess. Yes he does need therapy, this is not how the marriage work. You love him and he loves you, but he is about to place you on the altar and to sing his rosary. That is not healthy. ​ Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/Stephenallen1977 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OP, the Original Post was by u/Marcus-Christmas on r/raisedbynarcissists, r/MrReddit and r/entitledparents The posts were made 6 months ago but the events took place 5 years ago. 1st Post Guess who's Christmas is ruined now Mom! This is gonna be pretty long and inane. So I'll include a TLDR at the bottom. I (30M) moved from the central US to the north west coast when I was 22. Mostly to get away from my crazy mother. Most of my family were all enablers of her behaviour because they found it easier to just go along with it than fight her on it. Save for my three older sisters who got out of dodge because they couldn't take her shit. One of them even moved to Canada. So yeah, I was not only the only boy, but also the youngest. Which made me a perpetual baby in my mother's eyes. So my mother often tried to infantilize me growing up. She tried to spoon feed me when I was 16, then complained I wasn't being supportive of her when I refused to let her do things like that. Then gaslit me when I didn't cave to her whining. Her behaviour has been manipulative and narcissistic for as long as I can remember. She tended to make everything about her. Some referred to her as having a queen mother complex. She always expected to be honoured and revered on any holiday. Because even my birthdays had to be all about her, even when she did none of the work or planning. She showed up to my 21st birthday in an outfit that looked a lot like a wedding dress of sorts. Then expected me to escort her by the arm everywhere from the moment she arrived. We were just celebrating in a local bar. Not some sort of fancy club. So that went about as well as you can expect, and she made a huge fuss saying I was humiliating her on HER day. When I remarked that it wasn't her day, it was mine. She threw a tantrum and ran out like a teenage girl who'd just been dumped at the prom. And that wasn't all. She had some other habits that were unbelievably creepy towards me. She attempted to sit in my lap a few times and said she wanted cuddles. I openly called that weird and she repeated her usual by pouting and gaslighting. When she was 45 she started openly talking to other people near me about wanting to get a face lift and breast implants to look 20 years younger. And she'd give me the side eye while doing it. But my father adamantly said he'd never pay for such unneeded things. That sparked many fights where she called him unsupportive, then would spend weeks playing the victim. We were never big church goers, but she'd drag my father and I to the local Mormon church on random Sundays when she wanted to try and get back at me for not enabling her. We weren't even Mormons, but it was the closest church to us. She once put me on the spot trying to infantilize me in front of an entire congregation of people after the sermon and I called her out on what she was really doing. Then I just walked out. That was the last straw and I moved out to rent a small room at a friend's parents house for $200 a month. When I was packing to leave she was begging me to stay almost the entire time. I told her I was her son, not her husband. And I was sick of the creepy way she was acting around me. I had my own life to live after all. She just ran away sobbing and we didn't talk for months. I learned from my cousin that she was going around saying I'd come running back to her bosom any day. But when I didn't she lost her shit. My mother even years after I became an adult openly talked to me like a small child in front of other people and expected me to play along with it. And when I didn't she'd first give me an expression like she was pleading with me. But I just stayed stone-faced. That made her grab me by the arm and try to drag me outside like a little kid to loudly whisper in my ear. But I always refused to let her and even threw her off a few times when she refused to let go. And the last time she attempted that she dug her nails into my shoulder. So I swatted her hand away so hard there was a bruise left on it. That made her switch to mostly emotional manipulation. We both went to my uncle's birthday party, and while there she was openly following me around and loudly talking to my aunt about the way I used to breastfeed as a child any time she was close to me. And even said she lamented she couldn't still make me do that, then gave me that pleading look again. I wanted to throw up. My aunt was visibly disgusted as I'd told her about a lot of the previous things, but I guess she never really believed it was as bad as I said until that day. When I refused to cater to my mother at the party she eventually broke down and loudly stated she was the matriarch, and that what she says goes. Then tried to order me to come to her like a little boy. To which I reminded her that I didn't live with her anymore, nor did I have to do as she said because I wasn't a child. And then several other family members backed me up for the first time ever. Which actually shocked me. That made my mother screech at us all and then leave, only to call me multiple times later to try and gaslight me over the phone. I let it all go to voicemail. Before making the choice to leave my home city, I had a girlfriend there I really liked. We'd been dating a few months and she wanted to meet my family. I was sceptical and warned her about my mother. But she must have thought I was joking. Boy was she surprised. My mother was especially passive aggressive towards her when they met. Because she was "Taking her baby away!" as we both heard her say to a relative over the phone in the kitchen when she thought no one else was listening. And then later while cutting a cake she baked, my mother gave my at the time girlfriend an eerie stare while holding a large kitchen knife. Needless to say that poor girl couldn't deal with my mother for very long and we ended things amicably soon after because she never wanted to risk having someone like my mother as a mother in law. Sadly I had to completely agree. So when I told my mother I was moving over a thousand miles away she went ballistic. And tried to latch onto me and say that she wouldn't allow it. But I threw her off and said she didn't have the power to stop me. I'd saved as much as I could for years and bought a truck and camper trailer, and spent another two years living out of said camper while working a simple job in northern Cali. During this time I didn't bother to keep in contact with any family at all. Eventually I met someone new, and she and I are still together to this day. Though neither of us are really interested in marriage or children. When I finally broke the NC with my parents in 2016, I laid down some ground rules. They were to treat me with the respect of an adult. They would not pester my girlfriend. And they would not speak to me like a child or bring up anything from my childhood. Well no surprise my mother couldn't do any of those when we actually came to visit for Thanksgiving. So I told her I was done, and not to bother calling me until she realized I'm a grown ass man. She tried to block the door and started quoting the bible about how parents should be respected by their children. I told her she didn't respect me, so I wouldn't respect her. In December of that year I got multiple calls, emails and texts from her begging me to come to Christmas and not to bring my girlfriend. I said if she wasn't welcome, then neither was I. She called me unreasonable and called my girlfriend an interloping whore to our special bond. And no woman should come between a mother and her son. Then practically ordered me to go. When I refused she started making empty threats of self harm. I told her she can do what she likes with her own body. But I would not be coming to Christmas, and would instead be spending it with my girlfriend's family. My mother said I'd regret that decision and ended the call in a rage. Well two days before Christmas the door to the small house my girlfriend and I were renting was kicked in by police who were convinced that we were running a Meth Lab. We were detained and interrogated while police turned our yard into a veritable flea market, as a lot of our furniture and personal belongings were brought outside and arranged in rows to be inspected. They went through the house with a fine toothed comb with drug sniffing dogs and found nothing more than aspirin and some medication I had at the time for depression. Needless to say they were visibly disappointed by that. Guess they'd hoped to get some big drug bust or something. Turns out this all happened because my crazy mother had called them and gave details that were so accurate, she had to have been stalking us at some point. She claimed that I was using my camper as a front to sell Meth. My guess is she watched a lot of Breaking Bad. When police found nothing in the house, both vehicles and the camper, they were forced to put everything back and let us go. Understandably we were furious. But I couldn't really do anything other than file a complaint because they'd caused some damage to the house that my landlord was angry about. As a major stroke of karma my mother was arrested during her own Christmas Day party in front of most of the family. The investigation later showed that she'd taken a flight to my state. And then spent a few days following us around taking pictures of me, my girlfriend, and our home. She'd broken in and photographed everything she could, right down to the underwear in my dresser. That was especially creepy. And police found she'd documented where I worked and what times my girlfriend and I were usually home or at our jobs. We're not really sure what her overall goal was. But it likely involved more than just trying to give me a scare with cops. I filed for a restraining order and my mother spent two years in jail for filing a false police report and stalking. While my mother was in lockup I reconnected with my family, and they all admitted they'd known for years the way she was around me. And they were sorry about not doing anything to help. Especially my father. He cried while giving me a huge apology over the phone. He filed for divorce after my mother was released from jail. And in the divorce my mother got the house, mainly because my father no longer wanted it and agreed to let her have his share in it in exchange for a clean split. The court ruled he didn't have to pay any alimony anyway because they were already both retired. So he chose to move closer to me and now lives in the same state out of an Airstream trailer he'd already owned since the 90s along the west coast. He said he spends his evenings sipping tea and watching the waves. And he couldn't be happier. My mother didn't take the divorce well and tried to draw it out. But several family members came forward with witness statements, my sisters all showed up to speak about what she was really like, and some relatives even had some recordings about the creepy things my mom used to say. On top of all that, it got out that my mother had not only cheated on my father, but done so multiple times with different men. A few of which came forward during the divorce with proof. The judge ended up refusing to let my mother draw out the divorce any longer, and even her lawyer told her to let it go if she wanted to keep her pension intact. And when it was all over my mother has basically been left alone in the old family home and hardly anyone wants anything to do with her anymore. She's reached out to me on several occasions. But I just told her this was the result of her own deeds, and now she'd have to live with it. She tried to say she was getting therapy. But I told her that she should have done that a long time ago, and I really didn't care anymore because she can't undo the things she'd already done. She just cried and hung up the phone. I haven't spoken to her since. TLDR: My crazy controlling mother clung to and infantilized me all my life, so I moved away. Then refused to come home for Christmas because she couldn't except my GF. So she stalked me and then called police on me claiming I was a drug dealer to try and ruin my holiday. She got arrested on Christmas Day, then my father divorced her, and no one wants anything to do with her now. ​ 2nd Post My mother the infantilizer argued with a judge because she felt she'd done no wrong While I did press charges on my mother for stalking me and trying to frame me as a drug dealer, I didn't want to spend much time in court because that meant being near her. So the events I'm about to describe are half from me, and half from my dad. They probably aren't very accurate. It was five years ago. So please don't savage me if anything sounds off. It's something I've mostly tried to put behind me. To start off with. My dad actually didn't know that my crazy mother had taken a flight to my state to stalk me. She claimed to him that she was just gonna take a small vacation away from everyone for her own mental health. And never said where she was going. And my poor dad didn't know what she was about to do, or he'd have warned me. My mother then spent several days secretly following me and my GF around with her smartphone. She used the spare key we kept hidden inside of a fake rock to get into the house we were living in at the time. She then photographed everything she could. Even more intimate things I'd rather not describe. Then after she returned home my dad said she looked really smug about something. He described it as the kind of look someone has when they think they've won. And she seemed unusually happy and giddy until police came and arrested her on Christmas. Dad said she was bawling her eyes out and saying she didn't do anything wrong as she was being carted out by the cops. The evidence against her was clear. All of the photos were found on her phone and my dad quickly realized what she'd done. The call my mother made to claim I was selling drugs she even made from her own smart phone. The call was recorded, and was very much traced back to her phone quite easily. When my mother was confronted with the evidence, my dad said she just started crying and begging. And when she refused to get up from the table, the police had to move her. Dad said she just totally went limp and refused to cooperate. No one bailed her out of jail either. She had to use her own money to get herself out. Dad said she wanted to call me to beg. But I guess in a rare moment of clarity she figured out there was no way in hell I'd bail her out after what she did. So she spent a while locked up before finally using her own money to get out. She didn't try to run. In fact she firmly believed herself to be justified in what she'd done, and felt like she could sway a judge to her point of view. Her lawyer advised she just plead guilty. So she fired him and said she'd represent herself. Well that went about as well as you can imagine. She was in court faster than I thought. And my GF and I had to fly over to testify against my mother. But I only stayed as long as they needed me. And I was on the first flight I could get back. But while I was there my mother seemed to stare at me almost constantly. The stares ranged from her creepy pleading look, to absolute rage. When my mother took the stand she gave a speech about why she believed she was right. I needed to be taught a lesson for refusing to come home, and for putting some whore before her. Because she should have been the only woman I'd ever need. She also tried to keep staring at me the entire time she was making this speech. But the judge repeatedly told her not to do that. I left before the sentencing. The judge believed my mother to be mentally unwell. But when he stated this she went off on him that she was completely sane. Of course that just made her look more crazy. She said she was just a mother looking out for her son. And did what she had to do to teach me a lesson. My dad spoke up and said if she was really looking out for me, she wouldn't have tried to make her own son into her second husband, or frame me for shit I didn't do just for refusing her. That made her go off on him, and guards had to keep them apart. The judge was originally gonna be more lenient on my mother. But decided she needed some real time behind bars and sentenced her to two years in prison with with three years probation. When she was sentenced my mother went full toddler and had a tantrum of pounding her fists and crying like a baby. She had to be carried out of the court room because she refused to cooperate again. My dad described the next two years without her there as being absolute bliss. And made up his mind that he'd be ready to divorce her as soon as she was out. And I mean giving her the papers on the very day she came home. And that was the same day he left that house for good. He owns an Airstream trailer, and parked it at a friend's house. From there he spent months fighting my crazy mother in the divorce. That's when more crazy shit about her came out. My dad eventually won, and moved to my state with his trailer as soon as he could. Aside from a few rare phone calls from her, I've not associated with my mother again. And neither has my dad. He spent some time just living as a retired man on the cost. But then decided to get a simple part time job in a fish cannery because he was bored. He says it pays the bills. And he's made a lot of friends. He's happy. And I'm happy he's happy. I visit him on weekends when I can. My mother though, I've not spoken a word to her in two years. Any number she ever used to call me with after court was blocked. I am done with her. Edit: Forgot to mention. When I took the stand against my mother, I spilled my guts on all the creepy shit she did to me. All the stuff from my first post came out and I had to make myself stop. Everyone but my mother in the courtroom was openly disgusted. And my mother just started ugly crying the moment all eyes were on her. The part where I told everyone she'd called my GF an interloping whore to some imaginary special bond she perceived us as having really struck a nerve as I became furious just speaking of it. My mother defended herself and tried to say we did have that borderline incestuous bond. But I stated that was all in her head and always was. That made her have a breakdown and court had to be ended for the day soon after that. I wasn't needed there anymore and flew home with my GF that very night. Bonus Post On my 21st birthday my mother tried to act like she was my bride This is.... A roller coaster. Anyone who's seen my original post knows the level of infantilizing insanity my mother had towards me. She practically wanted me to be attached to her hip, and wanted me to be perpetually a child. This is only one of the many nasty things she did. I don't intend to make many posts. But this story I feel like I want to get out separately from my original post. It was late 2012. And I was turning 21. I was the last person in my friend circle to reach that age. So we decided the best way to enjoy my birthday was to have it at a local bar. My mother didn't like this idea because she didn't think it appropriate. But the rest of the family told me to enjoy the day the way I'd like. So I decided the bar was what I wanted. My mother did call me a few times asking me to change my mind. But I wasn't gonna. Every single birthday I had while living with my parents my mother made all about her. She always dressed up like she was going to extravagant parties, and always made herself the centre of attention. She hovered over me every time I blew out the candles on my cakes. And she had to be in every photo taken of me. I stayed living in my parents house as long as I could stand it to save money. And believe me, I was saving every spare cent in a savings account. Now it was time for my 21st birthday. And I was determined to not let her ruin it or make it about her. One of my friends brought a small chocolate cake. And it only had one candle on it in the shape of a 21. Some of my favourite tunes were playing on the juke box. And I was enjoying gin and tonic. Then my mother showed up. She pranced in wearing what looked like a wedding dress of some sort, and her hair was done up in what I think would be best described as Disney Cinderella style. Her face was caked in makeup to try and not look almost 50. And my dad walked in behind her wearing his church suit. He didn't look happy. My mother pranced to me and latched onto my arm. And when I say pranced, I mean pranced. She had a hop with every step. But I pulled away from her and made her let go. I adamantly said I was not gonna be holding her arm. And I was going to enjoy my birthday the way I see fit. She didn't like hearing that and still wanted my arm. Every time I got up to try and do anything she latched onto me and tried to parade me around. One guy there I didn't know made a joke that we looked like such a happy couple. My mother blushed like she was my girlfriend or something. That made me snap and I called out what the guy said as disgusting. And that I was not marrying my crazy mother. My mother then gave me a shocked and then saddened look like her inner world had just crumbled. Then she turned on the waterworks. Everyone was staring. I just walked into the men's bathroom. She couldn't follow me in there. My dad walked in a few minutes later and said my mother had calmed down. And it was safe to come out. But she'd planted herself in my seat at the table. And was told to move when it was time to do the cake. She didn't want to. But my dad made her get up. And my friends made sure to sit in places that kept my mother from sitting close to me, or be directly in my line of sight. My best friend lit the cake, and before I could blow it out, I noticed my mother was hovering creepily close behind me. I snapped and told her she wasn't going to do this to me again. And to sit down or go away. She started making a scene and my dad had to make her stop. Lots of people around the bar were looking at my mother and laughing. She started doing that kind of angry squinting where you expect tears any second. Then just sat back down. My friends took pictures of me and made sure my mother wasn't in a single one of them. Not for lack of my mother trying anyway. My mother finally hit her breaking point when I got to start dancing with a girl while a live band played. We picked that day to have the party because a local band was there in the evening. And they were playing some great classic rock. I started dancing with a nice red haired girl when my mother suddenly grabbed me by the arm and started forcibly trying to dance with me. I had to pry her off. And she screamed at me so loud my ears were hurting and the band stopped playing. She tried to grab me by the ear like she used to when she scolded me. But I slapped her hand away. She screamed at me that I was embarrassing her on HER day. I retorted that it wasn't her day. It was never her day. It was MINE! She yelled that she gave birth to me, and that made it her day. I said that was not how it worked. And that this was my day and my day alone. And then my friends all backed me up. The band was even telling my mother off. One even called her a hag if I recall correctly. Suddenly she was looking everywhere at everybody and you could see it finally click to her just how much of a scene she was making. I don't know if you've ever seen everyone in a bar go dead silent while staring at one person. But they did. And one of the employees just pointed to the door and told her to leave. The girl I'd been dancing with seemingly on cue also grabbed my arm and told me to just ignore my mother and have a good time. My mother then had a mental breakdown and ran out of the bar loudly crying like a girl who'd just had her prom day ruined. My dad did not follow. Instead he just ordered another beer. The rest of the evening was a blast because after the bar we all went back to my best friend's house and played old video games. Drunk Mario Kart is surprisingly fun. The next time I saw my mother she acted like the events of my 21st birthday never happened. And on my 22nd birthday I celebrated the same way, at the same bar. My mother showed up for that one too. But she didn't try and pull any of the same crap she did before. And she walked out in the middle of the party when I was dancing with my then girlfriend. Later that year I moved away and my mother hasn't attended one of my birthdays since. In OPs comments https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/rx2scz/my_mother_the_infantilizer_argued_with_a_judge/hrq6sm2/?context=3 Cooler_4231·6 mo. ago Dude…this is the most creepiest saga I’ve ever read. Your own mother LITERALLY tried to turn you into her husband which is way past the term creepy. If things would have escalated I fear she might have drugged you and kept you locked up or some messed up shit like that. I’m glad you’re safe, but I would still be cautious cause usually with situations like these with stalkers/creeps when their delusion crumbles they go to this “If I can’t have them no one can” mentality. Marcus-ChristmasOP·6 mo. ago Believe me I know. But I'm not going to hide in fear. I've prepared myself in case she ever shows up again. If she even bothers. I've made it clear that I do not love her as a woman or mother. And that what she'd done was reprehensible. I want nothing to do with her ever again. A doctor could tell me she's dying in a hospital right now and I wouldn't care Cooler_4231·6 mo. ago Glad to know you’re prepared. I have a bad feeling she might try something when your guard is down and won’t care if she goes to jail for it. Then again she could be afraid to go to jail again since clearly it’s been years since you last spoke to her. Either way stay safe… I am unsure of what to put for flair as her probation is up soon and I don't know if she will leave OP alone despite his restraining order. As he's still got the restraining order and he has a different phone number and address which she doesn't know I've erred on the side of inconclusive. I'm sincerely hoping for OP's sake that it is concluded. However that level of narcissism never knows when to let go. Again I am not the OP, this is a repost and the OP is u/Marcus-Christmas submitted by /u/Screaming-Harpy to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is.... A roller coaster. Anyone who's seen my original post knows the level of infantilizing insanity my mother had towards me. She practically wanted me to be attached to her hip, and wanted me to be perpetually a child. This is only one of the many nasty things she did. I don't intend to make many posts. But this story I feel like I want to get out separately from my original post. It was late 2012. And I was turning 21. I was the last person in my friend circle to reach that age. So we decided the best way to enjoy my birthday was to have it at a local bar. My mother didn't like this idea because she didn't think it appropriate. But the rest of the family told me to enjoy the day the way I'd like. So I decided the bar was what I wanted. My mother did call me a few times asking me to change my mind. But I wasn't gonna. Every single birthday I had while living with my parents my mother made all about her. She always dressed up like she was going to extravagant parties, and always made herself the center of attention. She hovered over me every time I blew out the candles on my cakes. And she had to be in every photo taken of me. I stayed living in my parents house as long as I could stand it to save money. And believe me, I was saving every spare cent in a savings account. Now it was time for my 21st birthday. And I was determined to not let her ruin it or make it about her. One of my friends brought a small chocolate cake. And it only had one candle on it in the shape of a 21. Some of my favorite tunes were playing on the juke box. And I was enjoying gin and tonic. Then my mother showed up. She pranced in wearing what looked like a wedding dress of some sort, and her hair was done up in what I think would be best described as Disney Cinderella style. Her face was caked in makeup to try and not look almost 50. And my dad walked in behind her wearing his church suit. He didn't look happy. My mother pranced to me and latched onto my arm. And when I say pranced, I mean pranced. She had a hop with every step. But I pulled away from her and made her let go. I adamantly said I was not gonna be holding her arm. And I was going to enjoy my birthday the way I see fit. She didn't like hearing that and still wanted my arm. Every time I got up to try and do anything she latched onto me and tried to parade me around. One guy there I didn't know made a joke that we looked like such a happy couple. My mother blushed like she was my girlfriend or something. That made me snap and I called out what the guy said as disgusting. And that I was not marrying my crazy mother. My mother then gave me a shocked and then saddened look like her inner world had just crumbled. Then she turned on the waterworks. Everyone was staring. I just walked into the men's bathroom. She couldn't follow me in there. My dad walked in a few minutes later and said my mother had calmed down. And it was safe to come out. But she'd planted herself in my seat at the table. And was told to move when it was time to do the cake. She didn't want to. But my dad made her get up. And my friends made sure to sit in places that kept my mother from sitting close to me, or be directly in my line of sight. My best friend lit the cake, and before I could blow it out, I noticed my mother was hovering creepily close behind me. I snapped and told her she wasn't going to do this to me again. And to sit down or go away. She started making a scene and my dad had to make her stop. Lots of people around the bar were looking at my mother and laughing. She started doing that kind of angry squinting where you expect tears any second. Then just sat back down. My friends took pictures of me and made sure my mother wasn't in a single one of them. Not for lack of my mother trying anyway. My mother finally hit her breaking point when I got to start dancing with a girl while a live band played. We picked that day to have the party because a local band was there in the evening. And they were playing some great classic rock. I started dancing with a nice red haired girl when my mother suddenly grabbed me by the arm and started forcibly trying to dance with me. I had to pry her off. And she screamed at me so loud my ears were hurting and the band stopped playing. She tried to grab me by the ear like she used to when she scolded me. But I slapped her hand away. She screamed at me that I was embarrassing her on HER day. I retorted that it wasn't her day. It was never her day. It was MINE! She yelled that she gave birth to me, and that made it her day. I said that was not how it worked. And that this was my day and my day alone. And then my friends all backed me up. The band was even telling my mother off. One even called her a hag if I recall correctly. Suddenly she was looking everywhere at everybody and you could see it finally click to her just how much of a scene she was making. I don't know if you've ever seen everyone in a bar go dead silent while staring at one person. But they did. And one of the employees just pointed to the door and told her to leave. The girl I'd been dancing with seemingly on cue also grabbed my arm and told me to just ignore my mother and have a good time. My mother then had a mental breakdown and ran out of the bar loudly crying like a girl who'd just had her prom day ruined. My dad did not follow. Instead he just ordered another beer. The rest of the evening was a blast because after the bar we all went back to my best friend's house and played old video games. Drunk Mario Kart is surprisingly fun. The next time I saw my mother she acted like the events of my 21st birthday never happened. And on my 22nd birthday I celebrated the same way, at the same bar. My mother showed up for that one too. But she didn't try and pull any of the same crap she did before. And she walked out in the middle of the party when I was dancing with my then girlfriend. Later that year I moved away and my mother hasn't attended one of my birthdays since. submitted by /u/Marcus-Christmas to r/entitledparents [link] [comments]