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She's literally stuck in 2016. Her decor, her content and everything. I think even the travel is running out of steam due to push back from the school and her know all husband bodging together a new house which is preventing some of her trips. The stamping of her feet must be setting off so many car alarms in Hertfordshire.

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA-ex-note WIBTAH if I dropped out as a bridesmaid a week before the wedding because of what happened at the bachelorette? Originally posted to r/AITAH & OOP's own page Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: Racism, antisemitism, bullying holocaust jokes Original Post June 21, 2026 So I am a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. She just had a bachelorette party at the grooms family’s cabin for 2 nights. It started off okay, but as the attendants got more and more drunk, the racism and anti-semitism started coming out. For context, everyone else in the wedding party is white. I am mixed Jewish and Asian (and Irish but not relevant to this post). My part of the party was to put on a tea party in the afternoon. I spent weeks hand decorating a tea set as a wedding present. Weddings are huge in my culture and I wanted to share that joy, I bought and cooked a bunch of my cultural food (but the basic stuff even western food people like, lumpia, baked deserts, and skyflakes with cheese and meat). I of course checked with the bride and MOH before hand and both of that would be okay, with the bride saying she loved Lumpia. I was so proud of it and it looked beautiful all set up. But immediately, some of the bridal party started making the “ew ethnic food” faces (POC, IKYKYK) One of them chased around another with a sweet bun, laughing about how weird and “scary” it was. It was literally bread and cream. I sent pictures of my set up to other friends to see if it was something I did wrong, and everyone said it looked amazing. [EDIT: cause I need to be precise. People did say thank you, including the bride. They said the set up was very pretty. It was the reaction to the food by some of them (family of the groom who also made the Auschwitz jokes) that I was describing. That being said, almost nobody spoke during the tea party portion, and blamed it on being tired. The bride and friends did not say anything about the reactions of the other girls. The main feedback I got as that I was clearly a witch because my tea put everyone to sleep. It was a hibiscus, rose, mint, and calamansi mix.] But oh well, maybe that food isn’t for them. I moved on. But then the racist jokes started. The party started on Juneteenth, you can imagine the “jokes” that came out of that. Then antisemitic jokes about holocaust camps and more. This is a direct quote “I say a lot of nazi and holocaust jokes for someone who isn’t racist”. I was trapped on a boat with them when this started happening. Later that night, as I was grabbing something from a room to then leave, the main perpetrator said to someone I considered a close friend “I was worried you’d be offended by the Auschwitz jokes because you’re German”. That friend replied she wasn’t offended. I spoke up “well I might be offended because I’m Jewish”. I got up to leave with my stuff, and the girl said “she’s going back to auschwitz!” My friend, the bride, everyone laughed. I went outside and I cried. They saw me from the window when they all came to eat food. Not a single one of my “friends” came to check on me. The vibes continued along that line, and I felt like I was in the Jewish/asian version of get out, stuck in a giant home with a bunch of racist white people. But honestly, the fear from it wasn’t the worst part, it was that not a single one of my “friends” said anything. I then was in a 4 hour car ride with one of said friends/bridesmaids on the way home. She spent the last hour of it lecturing me about how she’s “someone who can be cordial around people she doesn’t agree with, but not everyone has that skill, especially when it’s personal” and that “I need to put myself in other people’s shoes and see that they have positive intentions” and more. For context, this cabin was 4 hours away and I have a pretty moderate disability. I was using 110% of my energy for this, and had no energy left by the end of it. I pushed myself to extremes for these friends and the bride, and it was reciprocated with laughing at anti-semetic jokes at my expense. The wedding is next weekend. I can barely see from the migraine I have, and my legs are struggling with walking. I don’t feel it’s worth it to hurt myself for someone who couldn’t bother to stand up for me, or even check on me after. All my friends of color agree with me, but this was my highschool friend group (I grew up in a very white town) and I also feel guilty like I’m letting them down. I’m not quite sure what to do, so Reddit, please help me out. EDIT: I was a history major (which makes this whole thing even worse!!) so I have to add context that I didn’t realized I missed until the comments The friend in the car is the friend who said she wasn’t offended by the holocaust jokes to the person( she was asked by the “jokester” because she’s German and lives in Germany). In the car, she did say that she is absolutely against the concentration camp “joke” and that she feels guilty she didn’t say anything (the words “I’m sorry” never came out of her mouth though), but then I brought up the other stuff with the food and racist comments, and that’s when she went on that tangent. She also said she saw the racism but told me in those situations you just have to ignore it and choose to not be around those people again. As she knew there was racism happening, including towards me, and didn’t say anything or check in on me, I will be choosing to not be around her again. I also told her repeatedly that I didn’t want to talk about this now because I was so physically done and she said “this is my car and I am driving. I don’t want to be uncomfortable and have this tension here. We are talking”. I have a vocal cord disorder and my speaking is limited so I didn’t say much, and I didn’t want to get dropped off on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I told her she crossed a boundary she can’t come back from though. The people making the racist jokes were the sibling/cousins of the groom. My friends were the ones laughing along and not saying anything I have been long distance with these friends since highschool. The friend in the car with me was in a social justice club with me in highschool. There was not signs of this behavior before from either this friend or the bride. In fact, the bride went with me to an anti-ICE fundraiser party earlier this year and we had a lot of fun. I have never been shy with my opinions, especially as someone who studied history. This was the first time I was hanging with them around a bunch of other people. In reviewing these comments, I have realized that they may be not racist when with me before, but didn’t stop or say anything about racism when it happened, which is in fact racism. That is a key difference I am also more white than not. I am ethnically Jewish but not religiously. I often don’t feel like I have a right to be upset about these things because other family have gone through worse. That’s something I’m working to unlearn and this was definitely some exposure therapy to that Why didn’t I say anything at the party? Because I was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by drunk people making racist comments at me. I have survived violence before and know that sometimes keeping your mouth shut is what needs to happen until you’re in a safe space Lastly I will not be going to the wedding. I need to get off screens because my head is killing me, but your comments and support helped settle me emotionally. I will decide tomorrow how I will inform the bride Update June 23, 2026 (2 days later) OOP posted 3 pics of the tea party set up I made both hot and iced tea. It was a hibiscus, rose, mint, and calamansi mix. The brides favourite color is pink so i tried to stick with the theme. I brought all the food except the cheese, meat, veggies and hummus. I don’t want to take credit for what I didn’t do. And yes, I did forget a dipping sauce for the lumpia :( edit: my update post was removed so here it is: One of the comments in my last post asked (as a joke) “is this all because you forgot the dipping sauce?” YES, I DID, AND MY LOLA IS SCREAMING FROM ABOVE. Also I must clarify, I am very lucky to live in a much more diverse place now with a Filipino market less than a mile away. I bought frozen lumpia and premade baked goods (ensaymadas, mango, mango buns, and these little panda pudding cakes, alongside ube sugar sticks and skyflakes). The cooking was frying the lumpia and setting up all the plates, so I can’t claim to have made it from scratch. The cheese and meat with the skyflakes was generously donated from leftovers from the night before. I spent all my time hand decorating the tea set. I wish I could attach a picture of the set up as I was and am still very proud of it. I will make a separate post on my page with a picture of the tea party set up (so yes, all the people commenting this must be fake because no one could really be that egregious, I fucking wish it was fake, but welcome to rural Midwest) One of the comments on my post said I wasn’t looking for advice, but validation. That was partially correct. Getting told I’m the problem for an hour on the car ride home by someone I’ve known for 10 years and who organized political campaigns with me in highschool fucked me up. I felt crazy and when I got home, I made this post to try and see if I was being overly sensitive. I appreciated all the responses because it helped me realize I wasn’t being dramatic or sensitive, I was have a valid reaction to being told I was leaving to go to the concentration camp my ancestral people were genocided in, and my “friends” laughing along and saying nothing to me. For the real update: I sent this message to the bride: “Hi [Bride], I have thought long and hard about how to say this. I will not be attending your wedding. I could have said it’s because I’m sick (which isn’t untrue, I spent last night with a migraine so bad I couldn’t stop vomiting), but that wouldn’t be the full truth and as I considered you a near and dear friend, I owe you the truth. The truth is I was subjected to hatred and bigotry this weekend and nobody said anything or checked on me. I pushed my body past the limit for this, spent weeks hand decorating your tea set, because I care so much for you. To see that reciprocated with laughter when I was told to go back to auschwitz devastated me. That entire weekend felt like I was in a Jewish/asian version of a Jordan Peele movie. I poured over this decision. I even made a Reddit post because I couldn’t tell if what I was feeling was right, or if I just needed to suck it up. The comments helped me stand true to my feelings. I have simply reached a point in my life where my boundaries are clear and the line has been crossed. I will not harm myself and my body for a group of people that laughed as I was harmed. I still truly wish you the best. You can see the post here: [link to post].” I did not get a response. She has since blocked me on instagram. Likely on phone too, but I haven’t texted again to check. Her just blocking me without saying anything hurt the most, especially as I was putting so much effort and pushing my body so far out of love for her. I invited her into my community organizing space earlier this year, thinking she was an ally. But at least I know now where she stands when it comes to the holocaust and everything else. I simply just need to grieve now. To the wedding groupchat, I sent this: “I thought a lot about what/if to say but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that the comments didn’t [link to post]” I then left the groupchat. I have been blocked by both the bride and MOH. Car friend was blocked by me on both WhatsApp and instagram, but did not block me first (at least on instagram, no idea for WhatsApp). It all feels like I’m back at my 95% white highschool. The racism, the bullying, the blocking, all of it. I’ve grown out of that and am glad to have found many new friends in my current community who were there support me amongst all of this (if you’re reading this, appreciate you chit chat, especially my plant gremlins) I almost didn’t make an update, but a friend told me “the Reddit gremlins must be fed” and asked why I feel I owe the wedding party the comfort of leaving it alone when they made me so uncomfortable for days because of my ethnicities. Fair enough. I learned the ASL sign “petty b*tch” before this weekend for a reason. Two of the other bridesmaids that were friends of the bride and didn’t know anyone else at the party reached out to me individually to apologize for not saying anything, that they didn’t see it target me specifically, and that they respected my decision (if you’re reading this, thank you). I let them know I appreciated them reaching out and that I understood why they wouldn’t say anything in a house full of strangers in the middle of nowhere. It shouldn’t be on them to stand up for a stranger when the people in charge of the bachelorette are supposed to be my friends. To be entirely honest, this friend group has been dying for months, if not longer, with only the wedding really keeping it together. At least they gave me a clean cut. I’ll be enjoying my next weekend of rest. And if any of you in the wedding are reading this post, thinking I’m an asshole for making it public, maybe you’re right. But if you know it’s bad to be seen publicly, why would you say it or laugh at in private? And over 1500 people commented you were racist, so they’re also probably right too. [edit: I forgot to mention something I had remembered about car friend. In the car, she said “I didn’t know you were Jewish.” (As if she needs to know I’m Jewish for it to be wrong). Yet the day before, when someone made a joke about the food being kosher, and whether it was Kosher or Halal for Jewish people, and I said it was Kosher, that friend told the group, “she would know cause she’s Jewish” so the group, and this friend, did in fact know I was Jewish before making and/or laughing at the big holocaust “jokes”. And I was straight up gaslit. Just needed to add this because fuck that] FINAL COMMENTS asymphonyin2parts It's so weird when people get upset when their actions have consequences. It's like they must be used to living in a society that gives them the benefit of the doubt or something. Enjoy your weekend off, OP. OOP That’s exactly it. I’m intolerant for not tolerating racism. But their intolerance of ethnic food and Jewish people is something that needs to be tolerated?? These people confuse me tbh THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My best friend got engaged in April. I was genuinely happy for her. We have known each other since middle school and always said we would be in each other’s weddings. Last week she asked me to be her maid of honor. Then she sent me the spreadsheet. Dress, alterations, shoes, hair, makeup, bridal shower contribution, bachelorette Airbnb, flights, decorations, matching pajamas, dinner reservations, group activity, emergency wedding fund and a few things I still do not fully understand. My estimated total is 4700$ I thought maybe I was reading it wrong. I called her and said I was honored but that number is not realistic for me. I have some money saved up on rollingriches but i also have rent, student loans and my car needed repairs last month. I can do the dress. I can help plan and show up. I cannot spend almost five grand being a bridesmaid. She got quiet and said she really needed people around her who were all in. I asked what that meant. She said this is once in her life and she did not want to spend the next year managing other people’s limitations. That sentence has been sitting in my chest since. I told her I was not trying to make her wedding about money. She said money is part of showing up, whether people want to admit it or not. I ended the call politely but I have not answered the group chat since. The other bridesmaids are acting like this is normal and one of them already sent Venmo requests for the Airbnb deposit. I feel embarrassed, honestly. Like I failed some adulthood test where everyone else can casually absorb thousands of dollars for someone else’s wedding. But another part of me is angry. I have loved her for 17 years. I have shown up for breakups, funerals, panic attacks, bad apartments, worse boyfriends and everything in between. I did not know my friendship had a minimum spend. Would you step down or try to make it work somehow? submitted by /u/West-Environment3462 to r/bridezillas [link] [comments]

So I am a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. She just had a bachelorette party at the grooms family’s cabin for 2 nights. It started off okay, but as the attendants got more and more drunk, the racism and anti-semitism started coming out. For context, everyone else in the wedding party is white. I am mixed Jewish and Filipina. My part of the party was to put on a tea party in the afternoon. I spent weeks hand decorating a tea set as a wedding present. Weddings are huge in my culture and I wanted to share that joy, I bought and cooked a bunch of my cultural food (but the basic stuff even western food people like, lumpia, baked deserts, and skyflakes with cheese and meat). I of course checked with the bride and MOH before hand and both of that would be okay, with the bride saying she loved Lumpia. I was so proud of it and it looked beautiful all set up. But immediately, some of the bridal party started making the “ew ethnic food” faces (POC, IKYKYK) One of them chased around another with a sweet bun, laughing about how weird and “scary” it was. It was literally bread and cream. I sent pictures of my set up to other friends to see if it was something I did wrong, and everyone said it looked amazing. [EDIT: cause I need to be precise. People did say thank you, including the bride. They said the set up was very pretty. It was the reaction to the food by some of them (family of the groom who also made the Auschwitz jokes) that I was describing. That being said, almost nobody spoke during the tea party portion, and blamed it on being tired. The bride and friends did not say anything about the reactions of the other girls. The main feedback I got as that I was clearly a witch because my tea put everyone to sleep. It was a hibiscus, rose, mint, and calamansi mix.] But oh well, maybe that food isn’t for them. I moved on. But then the racist jokes started. The party started on Juneteenth, you can imagine the “jokes” that came out of that. Then antisemitic jokes about holocaust camps and more. This is a direct quote “I say a lot of nazi and holocaust jokes for someone who isn’t racist”. I was trapped on a boat with them when this started happening. Later that night, as I was grabbing something from a room to then leave, the main perpetrator said to someone I considered a close friend “I was worried you’d be offended by the Auschwitz jokes because you’re German”. That friend replied she wasn’t offended. I spoke up “well I might be offended because I’m Jewish”. I got up to leave with my stuff, and the girl said “she’s going back to auschwitz!” My friend, the bride, everyone laughed. I went outside and I cried. They saw me from the window when they all came to eat food. Not a single one of my “friends” came to check on me. The vibes continued along that line, and I felt like I was in the Jewish/asian version of get out, stuck in a giant home with a bunch of racist white people. But honestly, the fear from it wasn’t the worst part, it was that not a single one of my “friends” said anything. I then was in a 4 hour car ride with one of said friends/bridesmaids on the way home. She spent the last hour of it lecturing me about how she’s “someone who can be cordial around people she doesn’t agree with, but not everyone has that skill, especially when it’s personal” and that “I need to put myself in other people’s shoes and see that they have positive intentions” and more. For context, this cabin was 4 hours away and I have a pretty moderate disability. I was using 110% of my energy for this, and had no energy left by the end of it. I pushed myself to extremes for these friends and the bride, and it was reciprocated with laughing at anti-semetic jokes at my expense. The wedding is next weekend. I can barely see from the migraine I have, and my legs are struggling with walking. I don’t feel it’s worth it to hurt myself for someone who couldn’t bother to stand up for me, or even check on me after. All my friends of color agree with me, but this was my highschool friend group (I grew up in a very white town) and I also feel guilty like I’m letting them down. I’m not quite sure what to do, so Reddit, please help me out. EDIT: I was a history major (which makes this whole thing even worse!!) so I have to add context that I didn’t realized I missed until the comments The friend in the car is the friend who said she wasn’t offended by the holocaust jokes to the person( she was asked by the “jokester” because she’s German and lives in Germany). In the car, she did say that she is absolutely against the concentration camp “joke” and that she feels guilty she didn’t say anything (the words “I’m sorry” never came out of her mouth though), but then I brought up the other stuff with the food and racist comments, and that’s when she went on that tangent. She also said she saw the racism but told me in those situations you just have to ignore it and choose to not be around those people again. As she knew there was racism happening, including towards me, and didn’t say anything or check in on me, I will be choosing to not be around her again. I also told her repeatedly that I didn’t want to talk about this now because I was so physically done and she said “this is my car and I am driving. I don’t want to be uncomfortable and have this tension here. We are talking”. I have a vocal cord disorder and my speaking is limited so I didn’t say much, and I didn’t want to get dropped off on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I told her she crossed a boundary she can’t come back from though. The people making the racist jokes were the sibling/cousins of the groom. My friends were the ones laughing along and not saying anything I have been long distance with these friends since highschool. The friend in the car with me was in a social justice club with me in highschool. There was not signs of this behavior before from either this friend or the bride. In fact, the bride went with me to an anti-ICE fundraiser party earlier this year and we had a lot of fun. I have never been shy with my opinions, especially as someone who studied history. This was the first time I was hanging with them around a bunch of other people. In reviewing these comments, I have realized that they may be not racist when with me before, but didn’t stop or say anything about racism when it happened, which is in fact racism. That is a key difference I am also more white than not. I am ethnically Jewish but not religiously. I often don’t feel like I have a right to be upset about these things because other family have gone through worse. That’s something I’m working to unlearn and this was definitely some exposure therapy to that Why didn’t I say anything at the party? Because I was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by drunk people making racist comments at me. I have survived violence before and know that sometimes keeping your mouth shut is what needs to happen until you’re in a safe space Lastly I will not be going to the wedding. I need to get off screens because my head is killing me, but your comments and support helped settle me emotionally. I will decide tomorrow how I will inform the bride submitted by /u/ThrowRA-ex-note to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I need to start decorating my car, both inside and outside. I have a few ideas but not many. Do u have some inspiration to give me? I wanna see how u guys have decorated your cars both inside and outside 😁🌼 submitted by /u/MaybeIneffable to r/MINI [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/lookingtohide Originally posted to r/AITAH AITAH for not delivering the food I made to an event I got uninvited to? Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77, u/soayherder & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU Trigger Warnings: entitlement, exploitation Original Post: November 30, 2024 Two weeks ago I got invited to a baby shower from a friend who I haven’t seen in years. She moved to another state but had apparently moved back and now is having her baby shower here. I was so excited since I haven’t seen her in so long. She started a gc (editor’s note: group chat) with all the mutuals she invited. She did disclose that this was gonna be a quick and small one since she had just found out she was pregnant when she was 35 weeks with an induction scheduled on her 37th week. We all started volunteering to be responsible for different things for the baby shower. I said I’ll cook Filipino food and help pay for some of the decor. I sent money to the friend who was in charge of decorating. I asked mom-to-be how many people are invited besides the ladies in the gc. She told me 15. There’s 10 of us in gc including me so I thought I’ll cook for 50 people to be on the safe side just in case she invited a few more. I started shopping for ingredients for the lumpia, pancit, chicken adobo and rice and a grazing table. I started prepping and coordinating with the decor lady. We figured where we wanted the food and grazing table and told the MTB. She approved. (editor’s note: MTB = Mother to Be) Now the day before her baby shower, I spent the WHOLE day cooking. I took off the day(I only work part time since I’m the primary caretaker for my baby while my man works). Mind you, I had to arrange for my MIL to watch my baby while I did all the cooking and for me to go to the baby shower. I didn’t want to bring my baby since I would be busy with the catering. It was by luck she was off those days. Then the night before the baby shower, she dm’ed me on ig that she had to ‘make some hard decisions’ and had to uninvite me but still ‘want’ me to drop off the food. I told her I understand and respect her decision, but I will NOT be dropping off the food. She asked me why and I told her it wouldn’t make any sense for me to drive 75 minutes to drop off food to an event I’m no longer invited to. That the ONLY reason I volunteered to do what I said was because I was invited. She asked me how she was gonna find someone to cater on such a short notice. That it was f’ed up and hateful. A few friends sided with her while most sided with me. I want to know from a stranger’s perspective if I’m the a-hole? EDIT: 1 - I don’t know the full story about her pregnancy. She told me that she went to an OB checkup because her period was unusually heavy and long. They found out she was 35 weeks pregnant and was having complications which is why they scheduled an induction. 2 - I’ve already sent the ss of the dms to the 10 mutuals. THREE out of the 10 sided with her which prompted me to post this because maybe I’m missing something. I was being told that I should’ve been ‘an actual friend’. That I should’ve been the bigger person. That she was going thru a rough time with her pregnancy. 3 - MTB never disclosed to me why she had to make a hard decision and why I was uninvited which. The whole point of us 10 volunteering was to take off the burden off her shoulders. Our mutual friend who was the decor lady was the first one to reach out to me about me not being there since she and I coordinated where the food was going to be at. She’s also the one that told me that MTB was telling her and other people that I got my feelings hurt which is why I didn’t want to come. She didn’t tell them what hurt my feelings. Or how or when. I was too worn out from prepping and cooking to fire back. I took the peaceful route. I didn’t ask for the money I spent on the decor - my gift I guess. 4 - I donated all the food to the women’s and children’s shelter. I figured they’re more deserving. I cook Filipino food all the time plus I got a freezer stash of lumpia.   SS to my AITAH post. I blocked her after I ss and I’m sure she did the same. Now reflecting, this is some Reddit shit so I guess it’s fitting.: November 30, 2024 (Same Day) The texts Transcript of the texts Ex-Friend: hey girly, I know it’s late but I decided to change the guest list and pls don’t think I don’t love you but after some real hard decisions I had to take you off the list but pls don’t take it the wrong way I just wanted immediate fam and close friends Ex-Friend: I appreciate you for all the support you put in specially with the food so it would be great if you can drop it off Ex-Friend: like I said pls don’t take it the wrong way, ily still 🥹💕. OOP: I definitely understand and unfortunately there's no need for me to cater your event for free since the only reason I did it is because I was invited. I also put in a lot of effort because I considered you a close friend. Personally it wouldn't feel right for me to cater an event I got uninvited to so I hope you can see where I'm coming from. Have a good night and I hope tomorrow is a great day for you and yours! Lots of love 🫶🏼. Ex-Friend: so you’re not gonna bring the food because I took you off the guest list? are you being fr? because I said it was a hard decision and it didn't mean I didn't love you or none Ex-Friend: I think its f***ed up you’re gonna cancel on such a short notice like idk who else can cater on such a short notice if you don't come thru with the food like you said you already made it so why not just bring it??? this feels hateful OOP: No I will not be bringing the food. You're a 75min drive and as I said I did it for free along with everything else because I was invited. I understand it's such a short notice but I also made time for your event and you uninvited me on a short notice. I spent the whole week prepping and spent my whole day today cooking. Ex-Friend: girl I thought you were my friend so for you to do this is f***ed up like dk why you can't just drop it off Ex-Friend: like who else is gonna be able to cater for tomorrow? it's late already and you know everyone is looking forward to the food end of the transcripts Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Not only should you post these to the group chat, you should also make it clear exactly how much money you spent on the food and how many hours you wasted between buying, preparing and cooking and just for fun bring up how much $ you already contributed towards her event outside of the food that you’re not asking for back. The absolute shamelessness of this person is just mind blowing. OOP: Thinking about the fact I started prepping 4 days before I started cooking and then spending the whole day cooking just to read some shit like that AFTER I put ALL the food in the containers(which I also paid for) … made my eye twitch. But you know what? I don’t like to throw numbers out there because I have dignity and decorum but FORGET it - $200 on the decor(I paid for ALL the balloons from party city) and then dropped $679 for the food. 20 lbs of ground chicken 5 lbs of chicken (adobo cuts from seafood city) 10 lbs of potatoes 12 bags of lumpia wrapper 3 heads of cabbage 5 lbs of carrots 2 lbs of onions 5 lbs of mushrooms 10 lbs of jasmine rice EDIT: can I just add that it took me the whole day to roll 300 lumpias(logic for it was 50 people x 5 lumpias = 250 with an extra 50). YES THREE MFIN HUNDRED LUMPIAS!!!! Posting this has itched me in a way that’s making me dramatic vent so I’m sorry. When someone said OOP is a doormat and aggro OOP: Who is aggro? Where is the aggro? Because not me. If you read my ss, you would’ve seen I said I considered her a close friend. I said I haven’t SEEN her in years - not that we didn’t talk in years. We didn’t talk everyday but kept in contact, which is how she reached out to me about the baby shower. I’ve known this woman since we were 16. We are both 26. I’ve done just as much for my other close friends. I don’t put a price tag on a friendship I value. If I can then I will and if it’s not reciprocated then what can I do? I’m not gonna punish my other friendships because of one bad one. And I’ve been taken advantage of before which is why I put great value to those I consider my close friends. So pls don’t start with me. I VOLUNTEERED to cook, let’s get that straight. And for 50 people? Yes I cooked for 50 since there was 25 confirmed coming - now if you assume people will eat at least one plate + take some home that’s 2 plate per person. 25 x 2=50. Now if she had invited more people than what was confirmed - I would still have food for them. People might not be able to take a plate home but they would’ve been able to eat. My Filipino blood demands I ensure everyone gets to eat at an event I’m cooking for. It’s cultural for me. A doormat? Rude. Ain’t nobody a doormat here. If you read AND comprehended what I posted, you’d know I asked strangers to see if I may have been or where I may have been a-hole since THREE mutuals sided with her. I figured I might be missing something. Pray you that friends you have don’t ever do this to you.   Update: April 27, 2026 (16 months later) Hi guys. I posted on here a year and some change ago. I had a “friend” who had invited me to her baby shower and disinvited me the night before. I finally reconnected with one of the 3 that sided with her. I also knew a lot of you guys and including myself wondered what happened and why did it happen. Well a lot of you guessed right. The 3 that sided with her knew I love showing up for my friends. They knew I would go all out without hesitation. I put no monetary value on my efforts because if I can do it then I will. Plus I’ve been fortunate to be blessed financially, so I try to share the wealth with my people. Anyways, according to her, MTB agreed that I would go all out. And I did. Me and MTB were good friends prior to her moving so I no reason why I wouldn’t. We didn’t have any issues so I’m like heck yeah I wanna do something amazing for her. The 4 of them agreed that they’ll all play along as if I was gonna be invited and ask me updates on the food and whatnot. But then drop me after the baby shower. She said what her and the other 2 didn’t anticipate was that MTB would uninvite me the night BEFORE. I guess MTB had something against me and just couldn’t stand the idea of me being there. She thought I was a pushover and flaunted my “wealth”. That I do extravagant things for no reason??? Like posting vacations?? That she felt some type of way because I was ok with spending “all the money and not thinking about how it would make MTB feel”. Like she was a charity case and she can’t afford to do anything? She felt like I was outdoing her and the event was for her. (This is from my understanding so please take it with an open mind). But as I said in my previous post - the whole point of all the girls being there was to take the load off her shoulders since she was having a hard time with her pregnancy. I was blessed with an amazing baby shower so I wanted her to have one too. Not out of pity. But because I did have love for her before all the BS. There was never a time I thought I was better than her or anyone. I just wanted her and the guests to have a good time. I’m a firm believer that what you invest in gets reciprocated one way or the other. I value all my friendships and do invest in them when I can. So yes, for those who guessed I was never truly invited — you were right!!! It did leave a dull ache in my chest. While I did reconcile with 1 of the 3 - altho I told her that my trust for her has been broken and I’m not sure if our friendship would be the same. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Woah, what a huge AH that woman is. And ALL three of the friends she roped into her scheme. To be that unhappy and bitter inside to take advantage of you just because you take vacations and live your life is crazy work. I wouldn’t reconcile with the one member of the coven because it takes a special kind of AH that would plot that AS AN ADULT WOMAN against someone because “they go all out for their friends” - gross. Please want better for yourself than to entertain people like her. It’s actually horrifying that at least one of these women has procreated. OOP: Yeah imagine my shock when I got texts from the 3 of them saying I’m an AH/b*tch for not showing up. I’ve shown up for those three too. For any of their celebrations they’ve invited me to. And I figured maybe I was an AH even just a little. I tried to rationalize that maybe it was the pregnancy and I should just drop off the food and keep it pushing but something in me wouldn’t allow it. I sat in my car for at least an hour before deciding to drop it off to the shelter I normally donate to. As for the one I reconciled, I’ve told her that a our friendship will never be the same and that I’m sorry because moving forward, I’d like to be the last person she reaches out to. Commenter 2: Wow, those ppl are horrible. They're just users I think. I'm really sorry you went through that, but I feel like you shouldn't even bother reconciling with the one who told you all this. She went along with their plan and didn't stop it. You don't need ppl like that in your life. They're just miserable and bitter OOP: I asked her if she knew that then why did she go along with it knowing I’ve never do her like that? Much less done her wrong in any capacity? And you know what? She didn’t have an answer. She just cried and said she’s sorry and that she missed being my friend. To give her another chance. Especially since she also had a falling out with MTB after the baby shower. And how she no longer associates herself with MTB and the other 2. I’m not one to hold a grudge or resentment because I know people will do what the want but it did hurt knowing I’ve showed up for these people EVERY time. Made arrangements, adjustments to show any support that I can. I’m not perfect but I know for a fact I’m not a bad friend.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/cherrytoast25 to r/femalelivingspace [link] [comments]