Fake Flowers For Wedding

... the nights before since their wedding day, the distance between their... as an apple. On her wedding day, draped in a gown... beautiful right now. The spring flowers are beginning to bloom." "Is... happy to show you those flowers." "That's good," Aerys murmured softly... in his face, and the fake smiles he had to maintain ...

... smile. Her mother knew that fake smile and chortled to herself ... large house was practically a wedding gift. The college was about ... and diverse. Seasonally there were flowers she had never seen before. ...

... smile. Her mother knew that fake smile and chortled to herself ... large house was practically a wedding gift. The college was about ... and diverse. Seasonally there were flowers she had never seen before. ...

...eager silence as the wedding ritual continued. Then came the... be full of flowers." Naruto blinked. "…We don't have .... Garden. Be full of flowers," the man said with finality. ...sense. I proposed a fake marriage to save her life, ...gods. You'll survive a wedding." Naruto looked up at her ...new phase—the traditional wedding dance. Music from flutes and ...her lap, her white wedding kimono pristine and soft in ...

... of a girl surrounded by flowers—tulips, she was pretty sure... going up against an obviously fake metal monster, both holding pipes..., their clothes almost looking like wedding outfits as they stood under...

Fake history time! As in, what...there would always be fresh flowers laid in front of them... Great Sin is The Wedding of the Machine Spirit in ... cheese tours, in her wedding dress and spoke her marriage ...on many planets this sham wedding would have been enough to ...this by conducting a second wedding with the Amity Square Clocktower....inept approach indirectly acknowledged the Wedding of the Machine Spirit as ...

... hard because it would be fake. Though, weirdly enough, The Phantom..., Italy) for the romance and wedding scenes; and Plaza de Espana (... novels. Like the meadow of flowers in AotC (which Vader reflected ...

... interior decor/wallpaper brand). Sun.flowers (A "fake" compound word hack for a specific species). Fresh.flowers (A direct, high-value descriptive hack ... candidates for an authoritative CityName.flowers domain. Wedding Planner & Vendor Marketplaces (The Knot / WeddingWire): Wedding florists are high-margin businesses. Search ...

..., vines, hanging plants, white flowers, {floating petals}, red petals,..., beret, thick scarf, 5 fake cover, poster, collage, layout,...의상 없음 2:: fake UI, user interface, instagram... pink petals, lace curtain, {wedding dress}, white dress, frills, ...viewer, {flower bouquet}, white flowers, yellow flowers, red flowers, roses, dahlias, garden,...bunny girl, white hairband, fake rabbit ears, 16 cinematic lighting...

...wings carrying her forward. The wedding dress flowed behind her like ... apart like paper. The fake Julius collapsed, unraveling into drifting ...feel like a hero?!" The fake Leon rushed me from the ...the glowing altar, where the fake Julius stood perfectly still, waiting. ... "The pews! The banners! The flowers!" I yelled, pointing frantically at ...marble of the altar. The fake Julius had vanished along with ...

... much seen as a ‘fake lesbian’ or ‘queer baiting’ despite...Where I’m from, you don’t fake nice to someone’s face and ... turned out to be fake. Some of them had kept ...photos and videos of my wedding were shared and mocked in ...work history and CV is fake. Where I worked on projects ... to stop targeting us with fake complaints, and to stop using ...home address, asking to send flowers and gifts and presents to ...

... can find some more spring fake flowers for the front. I put... did throw away some Christmas flowers, a garden flag, some spring... flowers from last year, all just ... for the weekish of the wedding. Was confirming with my friend ... a pool, close to the wedding venue which is at the ...

... household items as a wedding gift; they were so nice... happened, like at the wedding when we got ready and ... smug but it was fake, he was probably told to ... behind me, there were flowers outside and I couldn't stand ...was his congratulations during my wedding, but he seemed nice enough. ... deaths. A bouquet of flowers stood in front of each ...proper respect and with those flowers was placed a letter. A ...

... household items as a wedding gift; they were so nice... happened, like at the wedding when we got ready and ... smug but it was fake, he was probably told to ... behind me, there were flowers outside and I couldn't stand ...was his congratulations during my wedding, but he seemed nice enough. ... deaths. A bouquet of flowers stood in front of each ...proper respect and with those flowers was placed a letter. A ...

...a black hat with red flowers on it. Lucia preemptively ... my consultant has to fake his own death! Why, ...see how many paper flowers she could weave into his...Parlor to get into the wedding business, don't you think?" ... Parlor will host the wedding! Don't worry about funds, we'll ...you die? Get your wedding at Wangshen Funeral Parlor, and ... "She's offering a free wedding ceremony. I don't think beggars ...

... the puppet brandished his obviously fake sword. His head was completely... to invite you to his wedding with the lovely Princess Lapin... deafening. Someone had even bought flowers and tossed them at her...

... the puppet brandished his obviously fake sword. His head was completely... to invite you to his wedding with the lovely Princess Lapin... deafening. Someone had even bought flowers and tossed them at her...

... send it in. The fake hotel hair, fake fiance, deadbeat, lazy, useless, ... with all those amazing flowers! And wow Philip, Flora Danica ...Stephanie wants to use the fake engagement and fake wedding, which will never happen, as ...and steps for her “ wedding” to gay paid actor castmate ... ring, and use the fake wedding preparation’s ex con tent for ...Stephanie didn’t want a wedding venue in the chapel. She ...

... bathrooms. I had mostly fake flowers for our wedding, so I still use...

... as the engagement and the wedding - she tries so hard ... and just feels clinical and fake. If she was single I’d ... and tragic situation that’s so fake and forced. Not sure who’s ... that I absolutely loved, plus flowers, a present....everything. This isn't ...

... morning to everyone, Melissa=pretty flowers. nice to see crocus, daffodils... we must keep. like my fake fur coat bought when i ... went together. yesterday had a wedding to go to, nephew had ...a small wedding the bride had a sun ...

... bookboyfriend pour Halloween T1 Une wedding planner pour Halloween - T.... passe dans un hôpital : The fake mate - L. Ferguson Neito ... : Mon héros secret - R. Flowers Final Fantasy Yuna : un personnage ... ce qu’il souhaite : It's all fake, Love - E. Béguin Plutarch...

... sur la couverture : It's all fake, Love - E. Béguin Une... : Mon héros secret - R. Flowers Un désert sur la couverture... bookboyfriend pour Halloween T1 Une wedding planner pour Halloween - T....

... level arts, the waltz of flowers and hawk eyes. Spiral thrust..., her voice holding an utterly fake cheer. Francesca had a perfect... remained. "I knew it was fake, of course," Belkis continued. "Viscount ... to attend Lord Asmodeus's post wedding celebration. The event will be ...

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Impossible-Fun-7483 I (28m) think my FWB (27f) has feelings for me, don't know how to navigate Thanks to u/withlovetara for finding the new updates BoRU 1 Original Post Apr 14, 2025 So, about 6 months back I went out for drinks with some friends, one of which was Kris (fake name obviously). Kris and I have known each other since we were in middle school and were never super close but were always good friends if that makes sense. She got wasted and was being flirted with by another guy in the group who was sober which sent off alarm bells for me so when we were all walking to our apartments and he'd lingered instead of going to my apartment I ended up crashing on her couch. The next morning while we were having breakfast she admitted she found me cute, really appreciated what I did the night before, and wanted to know if I'd be up for a FWB situation. So ever since we've been just that. We'd both just gotten out of relationships at the time and surprisingly this FWB situation resulted in us actually becoming really close friends to where we now actually just hang out to hang out more often than we hang out specifically with the intent to sleep with each other. Well, before we had a pretty strict "no staying the night" rule because for her "that felt like a step beyond FWB" but late last month she asked if I'd be willing to stay the night because "I just really need someone to cuddle with tonight" and I didn't think anything of it and obliged. But now it's become every time we do it one of us ends up stay the night at the others apartment. She's also been making more overtly flirty comments towards me when we're with friends which was another rule we had because we wanted to keep things private. Problem is, I don't know that I share her feelings. She's amazing don't get me wrong, beautiful (can't undersell this, I work in a field where I work with models on a regular basis and most of them do not compare, no idea why she picked me of all people), brilliant, driven, and one of the kindest people I know (this girl volunteers at a soup kitchen WEEKLY). I've been incredibly grateful to have gotten closer to her over the last 6 months. I think she's one of those people that people you're lucky if you get to meet even one of in your whole life. I know once feelings get involved there's no real going back to strict FWB but I also would rather get buried alive than hurt her. So I would love advice on how to handle this. TL;DR: I (28m) have been FWB with Kris (27f) for around 6 months and suspect she's caught feelings. I need help navigating the situation. RELEVANT COMMENTS kgberton No way to advise you before you figure out your own feelings. OOP I think I do have my feeling more or less figured out. I don't share the feelings she has. She's absolutely my best friend and an incredibly human being but at least currently I don't have romantic feelings for her. Update Apr 15, 2025 (Next Day) Well, I didn't really expect to have an update this soon or at all. I suspect it'll be the only update. After the first post I called her and told her I suspected she had feelings (I was right) and told her I didn't have feelings and wasn't ready for a relationship out of panic for the situation. Thankfully it was therapy day. I talked things out with my therapist about how I have serious fears about getting back into a relationship, how those fears made me react way too quickly, and how now that things potentially collapsed I've re-examined how I feel about her. After therapy I just let myself sit with things for awhile. Then I called her. Call went to voicemail. So I texted her and let her know I wanted to talk and wanted to do it in person if she was willing. She texted back and said she was willing to meet for dinner to hear me out. So I laid everything out for her. How my last relationship fucked me up and how that made me panic when I realized she had feelings and act before I even gave myself time to process. And then I told her how I really felt. That her voice is my favorite sound, how her smile is what I see when I close my eyes, all of it, and most importantly that if she was willing to be patient with me I wanted to give us a shot. Anyways, I'm taking her in a proper date this weekend. TL;DR: I nearly ruined things but managed to salvage it and got the good ending. RELEVANT COMMENTS PolarIceCream Aw yay!!! Best update ever! Wishing it to be your last first date :) OOP I even already made plans! There's a fancy restaurant in our city she mentioned once like 2 months ago as somewhere she wanted to try one day and I made reservations the second she agreed to hear me out. Update 2 Apr 20, 2025 (5 days later) Hi all, just wanted to give a second and probably final update unless we get like married or something maybe. I just got home after spending basically all day yesterday and part of today with her. On a scale of 1-10, the date was an 11. The day after my last update she and I had a long call while she was on lunch from her job. It wasn't really about anything specific, but I made up the excuse that I was doing photography at a local greenhouse later that day to steer the conversation to flowers. I found out her favorite flower was lilies, lucky me I already knew her favorite color was pink. So I picked up a bouquet of pink lilies that day and had them waiting. Then came Saturday. I got to her apartment and I swear, nothing could have prepared me for the moment she opened the door. I’ve photographed models on a Miami beach at sunset, I've photographed landscapes in Iceland and Ireland, I've done a wedding on a small vineyard in Italy. I don't say any of that to brag, I say it because I thought I had a pretty good grasp on what beauty was with my experience, but the second she opened the door the definition was changed for me. Her eyes were the first thing I noticed of course, her eyes are like these beautiful ice crystals in her head and they were highlighted by this gorgeous tan dress and the way her hair framed her face. Her smile when she saw the flowers made me freeze completely. I literally turned into a stuttering mess. I've never had that happen in my life. I'm usually confident and hard to fluster, but this outstanding human being did it without trying. I finally managed to hand her the flowers and we took them in and put them in a vase. A couple months ago she made an off-hand comment about how she wanted to visit this upscale Italian restaurant in our city, so that's where I had made reservations. The food was probably pretty good, I was too distracted by her to care that much about if the food was good. She info dumped about how apparently “lactose intolerance is a skill issue” (her words, not mine). She does this cute thing where she'll apologize for info dumping and when I encourage her to keep going because I love hearing her talk she bobs her head back and forth. It's a bit like watching a penguin dance. Don't know how else to explain it, but it makes me smile every time she does it. After that we walked a block to a bar because they had live music. We got a single drink each and the band started playing “Something” by The Beatles, she made a comment about how it was her favorite slow song so it felt like something to make a mental note of. So I asked her if she wanted to dance with me and we did. And then it happened, she kissed me. It's weird, we'd made out before, but this time it just felt different. It was like lights dimmed around us and everyone else disappeared for a moment. It was just us in each other's arms. When she pulled back she had to be sure to jokingly remind me I nearly missed out on that. I ended up staying the night with her and today we just laid in bed until like 1 PM, just chatting and cuddling. After we finally got up we went and got lunch together. We discussed what both of us want for our future, we both want kids, we both agreed that we both wanted to adopt at least one of them to pull a kid out of the system and give them a good life. Our goals really seemed to align well. The only difference was she apparently wants a spring wedding. I always planned on getting married in the fall because of photo opportunities. Guess I'm having a spring wedding. I know, early to think about a wedding, but I had a realization. In the last two months we've spent more days together than apart. I did the math earlier this week because the thought occurred to me so I read through our texts. From February 1st to April 12th we only spent 32 days apart, we still talked on most of those days over the phone or text of course, and we spent 39 together. Of those 39 only 4 were with the explicit intent to sleep with each other. Yet somehow I still didn't realize I was in love with this woman. TL;DR: While I nearly made a massive mistake, I managed to not only salvage it, but I had the best date of my entire life. NEW UPDATES Update 3 Dec 20, 2025 (8 months later) Final Update: My (29m) FWB (28f) caught feelings, I'm going to make her my wife. Hey all, posting this with mod permission because I wanted to give you all one final update to my story. It’s been a bit more than 8 months since I made my first post and update and the two of us are still together We moved in together about two months ago which in my head feels like a short of amount of time to date before moving in, but after discussing things it does feel like we’ve been dating for much longer than 8 months because for several months before that we basically were dating already. When I made my first post I was still dealing with the fallout of an incredibly toxic and abusive relationship that truly strained my ability to trust and allow myself to feel love. I’d be lying if I said that even through therapy that my trust issues have been resolved, but she’s been so incredibly lovely and patient with me. She’s genuinely just a spectacular human being. This is the first time a relationship has ever just felt simple. I don’t feel like I have to perform for her and genuinely my walls have finally come down. Well, shortly after she moved in she started dropping the hints. She started talking about weddings, wanting to start a family, etc quite a lot. I’m generally bad at picking up hints but these were obvious even to me, so I just asked if these were things that she wanted and what timeline she was considering. I wanted to be positive that if I were to propose I already knew the answer was going to be yes so I was probably overly thorough with getting her to say “Yes, I want to marry you.” I know she wants something romantic and grand, but I also know her as a person enough to know she has a lot of social anxiety. I know we’ve agreed on a fall wedding, luckily I know a lot of people in the wedding industry since I’m a photographer so as long as the proposal is relatively soon I can call in some favors and get things taken care of to make sure she gets the wedding of her dreams. I also know that her dream vacation spot has always been Italy which I’ve been to with clients in the past. Today I booked the plane tickets, I told her that I have a photography gig I booked for March and that I wanted to bring her along since I know she’s always wanted to go. I had a few choices of where to propose and have deliberated on that for a couple weeks now but what I’ve landed on is that the third day there I’ll be taking her to Rimini for the day, and near sunset I will propose to her on the ferris wheel there. It was one of the only things that ticked all the boxes for what she wanted. I would move the heavens and earth to make things perfect for her because it’s what she deserves. So thank you all, especially those of you that were there to tell me I was being irrational and dumb in my first post. I remember being in that panicked headspace. Honestly I thought I wasn’t worthy of her back then because I thought I was too damaged, I thought there had to be some horrible fate in store for me and I tried to run from those feelings. But I’m very glad many of you called me on it and got me to re-examine things. I’ve never felt so loved and fulfilled in my life. She’s the first person in my life that I don’t question if she has ulterior motives being close to me, frankly she’s not exactly starved for choices in the dating department and if she didn’t truly love me she could just find someone else at any point. For some reason she’s chosen me, and I’m going to cling on to that for the rest of my life if I can. TL;DR: I nearly curved off the most incredible woman incredible woman on the planet, months later I'm about to propose. Update 4 - In just under 24 hours I will be proposing March 21, 2026 I've just finished getting everything packed up to get the train to Florance tomorrow morning. As I sit here she's in the other room finishing her packing so I figured I'd come here to write out my feelings since this account has become a life journal of sorts for me. Honestly, I feel strange. Not in a bad way of course, it's this weird anxious excitement I've never felt before. I know it probably sounds silly, but before the trip I had to talk about this with my therapist. I know the odds that things don't go perfectly according to plan are pretty high. Having to accept that I don't have control over things like the temperature outside or if it rains and the only thing I can do is just let go is difficult for me. But ultimately, in less than 24 hours I'll be engaged. I already know the answer, we've openly discussed everything, she knows I'm going to propose and just doesn't know when or how. Originally I had a flowchart of "if x goes wrong, y" but decided that instead I'm just going to exist in the moment with her. I trust that I know her well enough that if everything goes wrong I'll still be able to find a moment that works. Hell, worst case scenario I know she'd be perfectly okay with a low key proposal at the end of the day when we get back to the hotel room. Anyways, wish me luck! Update 5 - I'm engaged! May 2, 2026 Hello friends! I'm a little late to update everyone here. I considered posting this to the r/Relationships subreddit but figured for now I’d keep it here. I wanted to make sure we'd gotten home and had time to discuss everything so I could do one big update instead of small ones. First, I won't keep you hanging, we're engaged. She clearly knew what was happening on the day. I wasn’t really subtle about it so I’m not surprised. I had originally made intricate plans for that day, but I'd noticed in other cities that nothing brought her more joy than when we were able to just point in a direction and explore without maps. She'd have so much joy in just finding random little shops or sculptures or anything really. I have diagnosed OCD so just giving up control like that has always been incredibly hard for me, but I decided to give up that control and just wander with her for a while and make specific plans for the evening. We even found this cute outdoor flea market on our stroll and she got a cute top from a vendor there. For dinner I had booked a table at Il Santo Bevitore. Neither of us speak fluent Italian, but we’d both learned enough that we could get through ordering and ask basic questions. I think she thought that’s where I was going to propose, but I didn’t want to be that obvious. The atmosphere was lovely and the food was incredible. I HIGHLY recommend visiting to anyone considering it. Once we left there I recommended we visit a “festival I heard about” which was surrounding the Florence Eye (a very large ferris wheel). I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much anxiety. I knew beyond doubt that she’d say yes when I asked but I dunno I felt this urgent need to make it perfect for her. Just the right blend of romantic while also actually thinking about what she would want. We made our way through the festival towards the wheel and I was genuinely sweating enough that she had to ask if I was okay. Once we got into the ferris wheel it genuinely felt like my brain went blank. We were in one of the most beautiful cities in the world with this incredible view over the city and all I could see was how stunning she was from across the cart. As we got up to the top I was panicking. For some reason I couldn’t find the ring because I couldn’t remember which pocket it was in, and she clearly noticed. Before I could even get the question out, before I could even find the ring, she said yes. I’m assuming she was trying to make me feel less panicked but she took the pressure off me. Once we got home it felt real. I know that the only thing that really changed was that we now call each other “fiance” but there’s something just mind blowing about sleeping in the same bed as your fiance for the first time. Since, we’ve started talking things through. We’re eager, I won’t deny that. But we’re also realists. We want to build a life that we know will last together so we’ve set our wedding date for October of next year. This gives us time to do some more travel together and basically just exist together. Luckily her current job allows her to work from anywhere so any time I travel for work as long as there’s an internet connection we can use it as a trip together. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hello all! My sister is considering using fake flowers for her wedding as she found out her fiancé is extremely allergic. She knew he had pollen allergies but did realize how allergic to flowers he was until he was in a wedding two weeks ago and even though he took a few allergy pills throughout the day, he was miserable. He also has asthma so he was wheezing all day too. They ended up leaving right after dinner. I had fake flowers at my wedding, but it was a much smaller destination wedding and I had one bouquet and one centerpiece, otherwise mostly candles. She wants an arch, ceremony aisle flowers, the works and she’s concerned that fake just can’t do that for her. Her only other option really is no flowers at all. She’s struggling to find pictures of a real weddings with faux flowers. (There’s just so much editing online.) If you used faux flowers at your wedding, drop a picture! Thank you in advance. submitted by /u/KaleidoscopeFine to r/weddings [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Dramily Birth sister [27f] tracked me down and wants to be part of my [26f]'s life. I don't want her at my wedding or in my life, at all. TRIGGER WARNING: Obsessive behavior Original Post Oct 7, 2015 Here is the issue: I was adopted as a baby. I have no clue what happened to anyone in that family, as I have never had a desire to look into my past. My parents were very open about what happened (abuse and neglect). Mom [59F] and Dad [63M] are wonderful and giving people. I have a sister, Elizabeth, who is my 'twin.' We aren't related by blood, but are the same age. We are both adopted, so we had that to bond over. I met the love of my life, Jake [30m] and we have been together for 4 years. We are getting married in December. I have already planned out the guest list, no kids will be there, and I am super excited. I have never really had the urge to look for my bio siblings. I guess at this point I wouldn't really be their true sibling emotionally, because we have lived different lives. Since I have medical records and grew up without them, I never felt the need to meet them. But my [27f] bio sister Janus tracked me down about a month ago. She wrote me on FB in July, but I didn't check my other folder until Sept. It was a really long letter that talked about who she was, how she tracked me down, and said she was looking for the rest of the siblings. She said she really wanted to connect with the rest of us, because she needed to find her past. I didn't know what to think, but her story added up, she had some pictures, and since I was a pretty ugly baby, its obviously us together as toddlers. She also knew some details. She could be a fake, but I didn't think it was. I showed Mom and Dad, they said it checked out. We have been talking for a few weeks now. She has called me twice a week, texting me every day. She is nice, but I have been losing interest. She is just some stranger to me. Emotionally I find it very hard to recognize this is someone I should care about. On some deep level, shouldn't I feel like we are 'super close sisters.' I don't get the same excitement talking to her that I do with Elizabeth. She has two kids, who she talks about a lot. She tells me she showed them my picture and they have been showing people "Auntie Emily." She has also told me she took off time in December for the wedding, she just might need to stay with me because she is low on cash. I know this makes me sound nasty and ungrateful. She is super into meeting me, said I am the most normal sibling, and she is so excited to have someone to share her life with. She sounds really lonely. I know she has built this up in her head as being the best thing to happen to her in forever. But she isn't someone I would have in my life if she didn't have some connection to my past. Every time we talk, she goes on and on and I just am counting down the minutes. I have tried to work out a way to be there for her, but I can't bring myself to truly care. I don't wish her ill, but she is just another stranger to me. She isn't family emotionally. I know I could try to form the bond, but at this point I don't see the point. At 26, I have pretty much established the sort of people I want in my life. She just has views I find strange, is rude in ways I find annoying, and despite having biological nieces, I just don't feel they are anything but someone else's kid. Does this make me a bad person? Am I horrid? I feel guilty as hell, because I can tell she wants this so bad. Even then, even if we did become friends, she would never be my sister. Because being a sister means a lot more than genetics to me. I am not sure how to tell her, "Hey, I don't want to talk anymore." I have talked with my SO and he says if I want her out of my life, then I just need to handle it. He doesn't really like her that much. They have talked, but he says she puts a lot of pressure on me to be close to her when this stuff doesn't always even work. TL;DR Biological sister tracked me down and wants to be part of my life, including coming to my wedding. I don't really feel any connection. I don't like her as a person much. I just feel guilty cutting her off, but the thought of another two hour weekly chat with her makes me break out in mental hives. RELEVANT COMMENTS plastic_venus "Janus, I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I just don't feel the emotional and familial bond that you seem to. Whilst I appreciate your need to get to know your family, I feel like I already have a family and pretending otherwise is deceptive and unfair to you. I know this is difficult for you, but to be quite honest I'm not ready at this stage of my life to have the kind of relationship with you that you're seeking, but I wish you well in your future". No, you're not an awful person. Often, family has nothing to do with DNA. OOP Thank you. That is a good message. I just feel bad, because I should want to get to know her according to everyone in the world. But realistically, she just isn't someone I see adding value to my life. IfIhadaMoog Not according to everyone in the world. In fact there is a famous psychological concept "the tyranny of the should". Its about trying to live up to unreasonable expectations. Check it out. beaglemama. She's a stranger to you that just happens to share a bunch of DNA. You don't have to be instant super best friends with her. And she's coming across as so clingy I'd be creeped out if I were you. OOP Majorly creeped out. I think the "Auntie Emily" thing was the first in a long line of creepiness. She is showing kids I don't know my picture and making up fantasies about who I am. It's weird. ~ Springheeled_Jill Wait... did she invite herself to your wedding? I...what? OOP She did invite herself, and her two kids, to my wedding. And to stay with me while I have everything else going on. I am not sure what she thought was going to happen, I was going to be jolly about someone being in my home, with kids, while I was getting ready for my wedding and honeymoon? Update Oct 11, 2015 (4 days later) In the last few days, I have done a lot of thinking. The short of the long: I have decided not to have her in my life anymore. What happened: Janus called me last night. I tried to be polite but she went into a big long “rave” about all the plans she had for when she visited me. She brought up the wedding. Would there be time to see [long list of local places together? Did she have a plus one? What was the dinner options? She already bought the girls’ dresses, in blue, with baskets, so they could be flower girls with the rest of the children. She wanted to see her ‘date’ and who would watch the girls while we were eating dinner? She was looking forward to meeting “our family members” in DEC. She needed to know what day she should arrive. She would need to stay with me, because she spent all her extra cash on “your wedding.” I was pretty shocked, because she had done all this without even confirming she was invited. I am not sure what made me ask, but I asked her if she really was in contact with the rest of the siblings. She told me some very concerning things. She had been in contact with two of them (a sister and a brother.) She said they tried to talk to her, but then cut off contact. They were actually doing really well, even though they were in foster care until they aged out. They had their own kids, were married, and had decent jobs. They had refused to introduce her to their kids and got mad she wanted to know more details about their lives with our "parents." The rest of the siblings turned down contact with her the moment she wrote them. She said I was the longest communication she had with someone in a long time. She just wanted to meet me so badly she had spent more money than she had to look nice. She wanted me to help her and for her girls to finally have a good family. I just told her the truth. You have been coming on to quickly. I am a bit concerned because you are trying to invite yourself to my wedding. We have never met, we are pretty much strangers. I do not feel comfortable having you come stay in my home, before, after, or during the wedding. I have a sister and parents. I was raised with them. I do not view any of the siblings as actual family members. I am not their aunt in anything but genetics and do not intend to recognize them as my nieces. If I have niblings, they will be when Elizabeth has children. I would like to cut contact. I am sorry you have been hurt, but I do not have the energy to help you overcome these issues. I don't want to talk about people I don't know, abuse I don't remember, or be part of any reunion stories. I would prefer to focus on my own family. Janus told me she didn't have anyone else, I was the last member of her family. I reminded her that her children were her family and she should focus on making friendships. I hung up on her. She has tried calling back multiple times. I blocked her on everything I could think of. I am going to have my personal number changed in the next few days. I feel relieved this is done with. TL;DR: Spoke with my “sister” about not coming to the wedding and no more contact. She didn’t take it well. I blocked her. I feel relieved. FINAL COMMENTS plastic_venus You did the right thing - for both of you. The fact that her other siblings cut off contact show that this lack of boundaries is a broader problem, and eventually would have dragged you down. Whilst it's sad that she's in this position, she's not your responsibility and in fact is leaning dangerously close to being a liability. Hopefully she backs off and leaves you alone. OOP I do as well. Jake (my SO) doesn't think she will. We have security ready for her showing up. My family is aware of everything and have blocked her as well. ~ Cuddle_Apocalypse Man, I can't help but feel sorry for her. I mean, nobody knows what she might've been through. For all anybody knows she could've grown up being constantly abused in many ways (hell, she could be going through that now) and is just desperately looking for some semblance of something normal, or something to make her happy. I don't blame you for quickly cutting her off though. Everybody wants their own thing, to only be concerned with their own life, with nobody around that could possibly bother their happiness or shake things up. And like a lot of people have said, she could just be an evil person only looking to leech off of anyone she can get her claws into. You never really know, I guess. I just hope that, if any of that is the case, she finds something in life that will give her what she needs. OOP I feel for her in some ways, but I am not willing to be someone's savior. Or more specifically, her savior. ~ jj3570 You did what was best for yourself, your family, and your future: good on you for having the guts to stand up for yourself. OOP I feel terrible, because she sounds really down and out. But if your whole birth family drops contact that is weird. Someone in that number had to want some family connection, but then they all just cut her out. I wonder what she wrote them. I know the older siblings remember more of what happened. I would be horrified if someone popped up looking for painful answers this far into adulthood. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Impossible-Fun-7483 I (28m) think my FWB (27f) has feelings for me, don't know how to navigate BoRU 1 Original Post Apr 14, 2025 So, about 6 months back I went out for drinks with some friends, one of which was Kris (fake name obviously). Kris and I have known each other since we were in middle school and were never super close but were always good friends if that makes sense. She got wasted and was being flirted with by another guy in the group who was sober which sent off alarm bells for me so when we were all walking to our apartments and he'd lingered instead of going to my apartment I ended up crashing on her couch. The next morning while we were having breakfast she admitted she found me cute, really appreciated what I did the night before, and wanted to know if I'd be up for a FWB situation. So ever since we've been just that. We'd both just gotten out of relationships at the time and surprisingly this FWB situation resulted in us actually becoming really close friends to where we now actually just hang out to hang out more often than we hang out specifically with the intent to sleep with each other. Well, before we had a pretty strict "no staying the night" rule because for her "that felt like a step beyond FWB" but late last month she asked if I'd be willing to stay the night because "I just really need someone to cuddle with tonight" and I didn't think anything of it and obliged. But now it's become every time we do it one of us ends up stay the night at the others apartment. She's also been making more overtly flirty comments towards me when we're with friends which was another rule we had because we wanted to keep things private. Problem is, I don't know that I share her feelings. She's amazing don't get me wrong, beautiful (can't undersell this, I work in a field where I work with models on a regular basis and most of them do not compare, no idea why she picked me of all people), brilliant, driven, and one of the kindest people I know (this girl volunteers at a soup kitchen WEEKLY). I've been incredibly grateful to have gotten closer to her over the last 6 months. I think she's one of those people that people you're lucky if you get to meet even one of in your whole life. I know once feelings get involved there's no real going back to strict FWB but I also would rather get buried alive than hurt her. So I would love advice on how to handle this. TL;DR: I (28m) have been FWB with Kris (27f) for around 6 months and suspect she's caught feelings. I need help navigating the situation. RELEVANT COMMENTS kgberton No way to advise you before you figure out your own feelings. OOP I think I do have my feeling more or less figured out. I don't share the feelings she has. She's absolutely my best friend and an incredibly human being but at least currently I don't have romantic feelings for her. Update Apr 16, 2025 Well, I didn't really expect to have an update this soon or at all. I suspect it'll be the only update. After the first post I called her and told her I suspected she had feelings (I was right) and told her I didn't have feelings and wasn't ready for a relationship out of panic for the situation. Thankfully it was therapy day. I talked things out with my therapist about how I have serious fears about getting back into a relationship, how those fears made me react way too quickly, and how now that things potentially collapsed I've re-examined how I feel about her. After therapy I just let myself sit with things for awhile. Then I called her. Call went to voicemail. So I texted her and let her know I wanted to talk and wanted to do it in person if she was willing. She texted back and said she was willing to meet for dinner to hear me out. So I laid everything out for her. How my last relationship fucked me up and how that made me panic when I realized she had feelings and act before I even gave myself time to process. And then I told her how I really felt. That her voice is my favorite sound, how her smile is what I see when I close my eyes, all of it, and most importantly that if she was willing to be patient with me I wanted to give us a shot. Anyways, I'm taking her in a proper date this weekend. TL;DR: I nearly ruined things but managed to salvage it and got the good ending. RELEVANT COMMENTS PolarIceCream Aw yay!!! Best update ever! Wishing it to be your last first date :) OOP I even already made plans! There's a fancy restaurant in our city she mentioned once like 2 months ago as somewhere she wanted to try one day and I made reservations the second she agreed to hear me out. Update 2 Apr 20, 2025 Hi all, just wanted to give a second and probably final update unless we get like married or something maybe. I just got home after spending basically all day yesterday and part of today with her. On a scale of 1-10, the date was an 11. The day after my last update she and I had a long call while she was on lunch from her job. It wasn't really about anything specific, but I made up the excuse that I was doing photography at a local greenhouse later that day to steer the conversation to flowers. I found out her favorite flower was lilies, lucky me I already knew her favorite color was pink. So I picked up a bouquet of pink lilies that day and had them waiting. Then came Saturday. I got to her apartment and I swear, nothing could have prepared me for the moment she opened the door. I’ve photographed models on a Miami beach at sunset, I've photographed landscapes in Iceland and Ireland, I've done a wedding on a small vineyard in Italy. I don't say any of that to brag, I say it because I thought I had a pretty good grasp on what beauty was with my experience, but the second she opened the door the definition was changed for me. Her eyes were the first thing I noticed of course, her eyes are like these beautiful ice crystals in her head and they were highlighted by this gorgeous tan dress and the way her hair framed her face. Her smile when she saw the flowers made me freeze completely. I literally turned into a stuttering mess. I've never had that happen in my life. I'm usually confident and hard to fluster, but this outstanding human being did it without trying. I finally managed to hand her the flowers and we took them in and put them in a vase. A couple months ago she made an off-hand comment about how she wanted to visit this upscale Italian restaurant in our city, so that's where I had made reservations. The food was probably pretty good, I was too distracted by her to care that much about if the food was good. She info dumped about how apparently “lactose intolerance is a skill issue” (her words, not mine). She does this cute thing where she'll apologize for info dumping and when I encourage her to keep going because I love hearing her talk she bobs her head back and forth. It's a bit like watching a penguin dance. Don't know how else to explain it, but it makes me smile every time she does it. After that we walked a block to a bar because they had live music. We got a single drink each and the band started playing “Something” by The Beatles, she made a comment about how it was her favorite slow song so it felt like something to make a mental note of. So I asked her if she wanted to dance with me and we did. And then it happened, she kissed me. It's weird, we'd made out before, but this time it just felt different. It was like lights dimmed around us and everyone else disappeared for a moment. It was just us in each other's arms. When she pulled back she had to be sure to jokingly remind me I nearly missed out on that. I ended up staying the night with her and today we just laid in bed until like 1 PM, just chatting and cuddling. After we finally got up we went and got lunch together. We discussed what both of us want for our future, we both want kids, we both agreed that we both wanted to adopt at least one of them to pull a kid out of the system and give them a good life. Our goals really seemed to align well. The only difference was she apparently wants a spring wedding. I always planned on getting married in the fall because of photo opportunities. Guess I'm having a spring wedding. I know, early to think about a wedding, but I had a realization. In the last two months we've spent more days together than apart. I did the math earlier this week because the thought occurred to me so I read through our texts. From February 1st to April 12th we only spent 32 days apart, we still talked on most of those days over the phone or text of course, and we spent 39 together. Of those 39 only 4 were with the explicit intent to sleep with each other. Yet somehow I still didn't realize I was in love with this woman. TL;DR: While I nearly made a massive mistake, I managed to not only salvage it, but I had the best date of my entire life. NEW UPDATE Update 2 Dec 20, 2025 Hey all, posting this with mod permission because I wanted to give you all one final update to my story. It’s been a bit more than 8 months since I made my first post and update and the two of us are still together We moved in together about two months ago which in my head feels like a short of amount of time to date before moving in, but after discussing things it does feel like we’ve been dating for much longer than 8 months because for several months before that we basically were dating already. When I made my first post I was still dealing with the fallout of an incredibly toxic and abusive relationship that truly strained my ability to trust and allow myself to feel love. I’d be lying if I said that even through therapy that my trust issues have been resolved, but she’s been so incredibly lovely and patient with me. She’s genuinely just a spectacular human being. This is the first time a relationship has ever just felt simple. I don’t feel like I have to perform for her and genuinely my walls have finally come down. Well, shortly after she moved in she started dropping the hints. She started talking about weddings, wanting to start a family, etc quite a lot. I’m generally bad at picking up hints but these were obvious even to me, so I just asked if these were things that she wanted and what timeline she was considering. I wanted to be positive that if I were to propose I already knew the answer was going to be yes so I was probably overly thorough with getting her to say “Yes, I want to marry you.” I know she wants something romantic and grand, but I also know her as a person enough to know she has a lot of social anxiety. I know we’ve agreed on a fall wedding, luckily I know a lot of people in the wedding industry since I’m a photographer so as long as the proposal is relatively soon I can call in some favors and get things taken care of to make sure she gets the wedding of her dreams. I also know that her dream vacation spot has always been Italy which I’ve been to with clients in the past. Today I booked the plane tickets, I told her that I have a photography gig I booked for March and that I wanted to bring her along since I know she’s always wanted to go. I had a few choices of where to propose and have deliberated on that for a couple weeks now but what I’ve landed on is that the third day there I’ll be taking her to Rimini for the day, and near sunset I will propose to her on the ferris wheel there. It was one of the only things that ticked all the boxes for what she wanted. I would move the heavens and earth to make things perfect for her because it’s what she deserves. So thank you all, especially those of you that were there to tell me I was being irrational and dumb in my first post. I remember being in that panicked headspace. Honestly I thought I wasn’t worthy of her back then because I thought I was too damaged, I thought there had to be some horrible fate in store for me and I tried to run from those feelings. But I’m very glad many of you called me on it and got me to re-examine things. I’ve never felt so loved and fulfilled in my life. She’s the first person in my life that I don’t question if she has ulterior motives being close to me, frankly she’s not exactly starved for choices in the dating department and if she didn’t truly love me she could just find someone else at any point. For some reason she’s chosen me, and I’m going to cling on to that for the rest of my life if I can. TL;DR: I nearly curved off the most incredible woman incredible woman on the planet, months later I'm about to propose. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Six years ago I (30M) was getting married. My best friend (31M) Judas, fake names to protect identities, was my best man. I was getting married to Leah (30F). Our friend group was very very close, there were 8/9 of us, and we always did everything together, days out, game nights, holidays etc. anytime a friend would bring another female friend into the group Judas would end up hooking up with them, as he was genuinely just naturally very funny and charismatic, which is a big part as to why he’s everyone’s best man, but he was never a threat to our relationships because we were all such good friends. Just over a year into our marriage, Leah and I start having issues, I’m in the army so I’m at camp through the week, returning home Friday evenings and leaving again early Monday mornings. This meant we only really got weekends together and I’d always want to spend them with the group, and she’d mostly want alone time, just the two of us, as she will have seen the group through the week. This amongst other things caused a lot of arguments and we ended up separating. While all this was going on two of our friends; Judas’ cousin Andrew (29M), and his fiancé Phoebe (29F), were a three days away from their wedding day (Judas of course being his best man too) when Andrew confessed to Phoebe that he had been cheating on her with a coworker for 6 months, so could not go ahead with the wedding. On what would have been their wedding day, a couple of us went to Phoebe’s for drinks to take her mind off everything, and her and Judas slept together. (Worst best man ever). Those two had always been very close to be fair, but we were all very surprised finding out. They apparently drunkenly did it a few more times over the next month before deciding to end all that. While Leah and I were ‘separated’ I’d still be trying my best to resolve things and work it all out, but she was slowly getting less and less interested in the idea of us. I later found out this was because she was spending all her time with Judas. They had gotten into a relationship, and he was basically living in the house I was paying half the mortgage for. (Worst best man ever). When I found this out I angrily text him “you’re dead to me” to which he replied solely with an image of the word ‘goodbye’ highlighted on a ouija board. Naturally, Leah and I went through the whole divorce process, and her and Judas were happy in their relationship. Judas, Leah, and Andrew were all out of our little friend group. The rest of us went out to celebrate when the divorce had finalised, and Phoebe and I ended up hooking up. Fast forward to now; Phoebe and I have been in a relationship for 3 years now. Leah and Judas have split, she’s now with some other man, and he’s single. Andrew has gotten married, he actually made it to the altar this time, and yes, Judas was his best man, so who knows what’s going to happen down the line with the worst best man, and Andrew’s new wife. Yesterday I wanted to surprise Phoebe, I set off to camp early Monday morning like I always do, except I’ve booked this week off in secret. I waited for her to go to work and then I came back to decorate the bedroom with flowers, her favourite chocolates etc. I park my car a block away so she doesn’t know I’m home. When she comes home, I surprise her, but I see that she’s on FaceTime, I’m 90% sure the face I see is Judas’ but she very quickly ends the call. Early in our relationship she drunkenly confessed to me that she thought her and Judas would’ve ended up together after what would’ve been her wedding night, and that she was sad when he ended up calling that off for Leah. So my heart sank. She told me it was just her brother on the phone, but I don’t believe her. I had also surprised her with a trip to Disney land, she’s always wanted to go, in the near future, where I had planned to propose, but now I’m unsure if I should go through with this, if Judas has managed to worm his way back into her life. I need help, I don’t know what to do. I’ve been at my parents awake all night, and I’m dreading going back home to have a conversation. Do I confront her on this? Or go ahead with the planned trip and proposal and feign ignorance for a happier life? I’m sorry this is so long, I have left it as short as I could, there’s six years worth of drama I’ve tried to condense. TLDR: my worst best man got into a relationship with my wife while we were separated, and ultimately divorced, my current girlfriend confessed to having feelings for that best man in the past, and now he has resurfaced into her life, just as I was preparing to propose submitted by /u/doctor_anonymous_15 to r/relationship_advice [link] [comments]

I am NOT OP. That is u/Complex_Anteater_607. She posted in r/AITAH. Trigger Warning: verbal harassment Mood Spoiler: mostly happy ending Original post - March 7, 2025 I (35F) am still friends with some of the people I went to college with. One of them, Debbie (fake name, 36F) got married this past January, after being engaged for two years. Early in the planning process, Debbie had asked my 6-year-old daughter (who was 5 at the time) to be the flower girl. We agreed, and she had the dress sent to us right away. We barely spoke about the subject for a while. Then the wedding was delayed by almost a year (the original date was in March ’24). I’m still not sure why, I’ve heard 3 or 4 different reasons. By the time the actual wedding date came around, the flower girl dress did not fit my daughter anymore. We didn’t find out until roughly 10 days before the wedding (admittedly my fault), and I texted Debbie right away to ask what I should do about it. Her first reply was “Figure it out.” I tried to ask her where she’d bought the dress, where I could get a similar one or whether it would be okay for my daughter to wear a different dress. I basically gave her a list of ways I could fix this and asked her what she preferred. Debbie responded with “I don’t have time for this. Stop making your whale daughter my problem.” Obviously, I decided against attending the wedding after that. As far as I’m concerned, we’re no longer friends. And to be clear, I know that up until this point, I was not the AH. I didn’t tell anyone about it at first, but our absence was obvious (my friends missed me, and my daughter was supposed to be the only flower girl). Whenever Debbie was asked about it, she apparently just said we’d had an argument, but it wasn’t a big deal. When our mutual friends and acquaintances asked me, I told them the truth, without sugarcoating it or trying to defend Debbie. I even showed my friends the text messages that proved everything. Everyone took my side. About a week ago, Debbie called me. She apologized for what she said about my daughter, but told me I have no idea how stressed she was at the time. She said it wasn’t fair for her to lose friends over a mistake she’d made when she was under so much pressure. Again, I don’t think I was in the wrong for skipping the wedding, but I’m wondering whether I took it too far by telling our mutuals why. EDIT: Yes, I know I should have made sure the dress still fit sooner. I already know that was my mistake, and I'm not blaming Debbie for it. That's not what I'm asking about. Relevant Comments: "NTA- doesn’t matter how stressed and overwhelmed you are, you never talk about a child or adult in that way." That's part of the reason why I believe I might have been the AH. I don't believe she would have talked about my daughter that way if she wasn't extremely stressed out. Obviously not an excuse, but certainly something I have to take into consideration. "'Stop making your whale daughter my problem.' She actually said that??!!! And you're asking if telling the truth somehow makes you an AH? She spoke her 'truth' why can't you? Now she has no friends and is trying to backtrack...smh... NTA....but you would be if you accepted her back as a close friend...even after an 'apology'..." I won't. I will appreciate any apologies that come my way, but we're no longer friends. More on Debbie's behavior leading up to the wedding: I don't know much about how she was to other people these last few months. She was polite to me until what she said about my daughter. Out of all our mutual friends, two of them would definitely stop being friends with anyone who spoke about a child like that. Would the dress have still fit had the wedding not been delayed? She sent us the dress in October '23, five months before the original wedding date. It was a little big on my daughter at the time, and I believe it would have fit just fine had the wedding not been delayed. + It's possible. I remember her Halloween costume (also a dress) still fit her very well around April, and it was also a little big in October. I can't be certain, but I think it would still fit. "ESH. Dress doesn't fit - then go to seamstress and order alterations. If it can't be saved, buy a different one. She said figure it out. It's not rocket science. And how didn't you expect that kid had grown? But calling child a whale is also AH move." I've said this elsewhere, but I'm not dealing with something like this without being certain how I should do it. What if I'd bought a different one and she didn't like it? I agree I should have had my daughter try on the dress again sooner, but I don't think asking Debbie how I should fix this was a mistake. "You made certain that you got revenge by telling everyone what she said. It was okay for YOU to make a mistake with the dress but it was not okay for her to make a mistake with a few bad words. Feel better about yourself? (Downvoted)" Revenge was never the point. I never said what I did was okay - I literally admitted it was both a mistake and entirely my fault - but that's not what I'm asking about here. In response to a series of downvoted comments from a user implying the solutions offered were "crap" and that she's playing victim: It wasn't crap. I was more than willing to do whatever she asked me to do to fix this. I apologized and gave her solutions. All I wanted was for her to give me a direction. I admitted I should have made sure the dress fit sooner in the post (more than once), in the comments (also more than once), to my friends and to Debbie herself. And I told my friends everything I wrote here, including that part. + I didn't paint myself as the victim. I told them exactly what I wrote here. I didn't gloss over anything - they know about the dress thing - and they still sided with me. Several commenters voted YTA due to the fact OOP didn't make sure the dress fit her daughter sooner. Some are openly insulting her, while many are accusing her of harassing the bride, playing victim or lying to her friends. Here are some of her replies to those: I did apologize for the sizing mishap. Having read the comments, I don't yet think I owe her an apology. I didn't come here for validation, but most people seem to be judging me for not checking the dress, not for telling people what happened. From what I've gathered, people have approached Debbie about this, and she has had the opportunity to present her side of what happened to our mutual friends. Either it's the same thing I said (literally what happened) or it was simply not enough to get people to agree with her. There is no doubt whether she insulted my daughter, or whether I was asking her for directions. Both those things are factual and I have provided people with evidence. I have also informed my friends I took too long to check the dress. I have no reason to lie about that. + I wasn't harassing her, I was asking for information only she could provide me. I didn't want to do anything without making sure she was okay with it. As the bride, she should have the final say. I didn't want to proceed in a way she didn't appreciate. I don't see how that could be an asshole move. I'm also not playing the victim. I'm very well aware I was wrong for not checking sooner and I was more than willing to correct that. I have expressed that multiple times, and that's not what I'm asking here. + I don't see "figure it out" as carte blanche. I see it as "figure out a way to solve this." I figured out different ways and asked the bride - who should have final say in the matter - which she preferred. That's not "dumping it on the bride." It was also not the question I asked. Is OOP's daughter overweight? I don't think it matters here, but I will say that my daughter is not overweight. The dress doesn't fit purely because she's growing up. "INFO: Did she name call your kid to you in privately or in front of your daughter? She's still 100% the AH unquestionably, but I'm an internet stranger concerned about your kid's mental health and want to make sure she is OK and didn't hear this cruel fat shaming." In private. Otherwise, her dentist would be buying a new car. AITAH has no consensus bot. OOP was voted NTA based on the comments, but there were several YTAs as well. Update - August 22, 2025 (6 months later) Hey guys. I wasn’t going to update, but a friend of mine brought the situation up a few days ago and I remembered posting here. After my post back in March, I didn’t hear anything from Debbie for a while. I did speak to my friends a lot, and they told me that she did continue trying to get them on her side for a while. From what I gather, her story always matched mine: I forgot to make sure the dress fit, I apologized and asked how she preferred I fixed it, she insulted my kid (and as I remember discussing in the comments, “whale of a daughter” is a better translation). Everyone continued taking my side. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one Debbie had problems with before the wedding, my case was just the worst one. There’s no doubt that the dress fiasco was my fault. I had a lot going on at the time and several reasons why I forgot to make sure it fit sooner, but no excuse can change the fact that I messed up. But I still don’t think giving Debbie options on how I could proceed was the wrong move. I’ve been a bride before, and I wouldn’t want someone else to make a decision about my wedding without giving me the final say. And I can’t ignore that her reaction was to insult my daughter. Debbie first texted me in June. She asked me to help her clear the air with everyone, because most of our mutuals hadn’t spoken to her since April. I was tired of all this, so I told everyone that Debbie had already apologized to me. I made it very clear that while we’re no longer friends, I sincerely don’t care whether they remain in contact with her or not. She texted me once again early in July. She told me that a couple of our mutuals were talking to her again, but it wasn’t the same as it used to be. She asked me whether I was still mad at her. I told her I’m not, and I wish her the best, but I don’t think we can continue this friendship. I said I was sorry for the dress fiasco and I understood that she was stressed at the time, but I’ll never be able to look past what she did. It would have taken her less time to give me directions than it took to call my daughter a whale. I can forgive rudeness with time, but not insults, especially towards my children. We haven’t spoken since. I haven’t blocked her, but I have no intention of reaching out again, and I don’t think she does either. Some of our mutuals are speaking to her again. Both my best friends from that group want nothing to do with her. I sincerely don’t care what anyone does. I won’t pretend this never happened, but I’ve moved on. Like I said, I’m not mad anymore. My daughter will be a flower girl at my cousin’s wedding in December, and my family is doing very well. Life has been crazy for a while, but things are finally getting calmer. I won’t post here again. Thank you for your time. Relevant Comments: What were the reasons floating around for the year long delay on the wedding? I heard she had problems with her in-laws at some point, but I also heard it had something to do with the venue. Early on, she also claimed that both she and her (now) husband were busy at work. I vaguely remember hearing at least two more reasons, but I don't remember them well and can't confirm anything. "Honestly love how adult you were over it all vs scorched earth. Can definitely forgive never have to forget or be friends after being wronged" Scorched earth tends to be more exhausting than it's worth, honestly, and I was already under a lot of stress at the time. I probably wouldn't even have told anyone what happened if I hadn't been questioned about it. "Honestly I'm still blown away by the fact that you, a mother with a child that can outgrow their clothes in a few months didn't think to check if the clothing still fit after a year. Like you thought the dress would magically stay the size that your daughter was for more than a year and didn't even think about checking it until a few days before the wedding. I just find it hard to believe that a part of this wasn't subconsciously purposeful. Like you weren't really up for the occasion and dreading having to go through all the work of attending a wedding with a child that was in the wedding. Which I get 100%. I'm what you would consider an old spinster and though I've never had my own children I have 17 nieces and nephews and even I, who has never raised a child, knows that up until they're like 14 I have no expectation that something I bought for them to wear would still fit 4 months later let alone a whole year. Me. A person who has changed one diaper in my entire life understands this. So I find it hard to believe that an actual mother did not think about this for such a big event. Inconveniently forgot to think about it until like a few days before the wedding. Again not excusing the friends behavior I just think part of you self-sabotage this a little bit and you're kind of not owning up to that" (Downvoted) I'm sorry, but how am I not owning up to that? I have acknowledged multiple times (on my original post, in this update and in comments, not to mention to my friends) that I messed up. She delayed her wedding by almost a year. Like I said in this post, I had a lot going on at the time. To name a few things that happened in the time it took for the wedding day to arrive, my father had a heart attack and my husband had issues at work. I also have three children and a job. I did not mention any of that because, like I said, these are still excuses, and none of them change the fact that I should have checked the dress. All of that being said, it was still an honest mistake. I didn't think the dress would "magically stay the size that my daughter was for more than a year," I just forgot to check (which I know was my fault). And I did want to go to the wedding, even if I wasn't thinking about it all the time. Top Comment: "Good update. Glad your daughter still gets to be a flower girl for someone. Hopefully your ex friend has done some serious reflecting on her behavior. All it takes is one thing said in a moment to ruin relationships forever." Reminder - I am not the original poster. submitted by /u/Starry_Gecko to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/PeachyTeach777 Originally posted to r/AmIOverreacting AIO My boyfriend thinks I’m only dating him because he’s rich. Editor’s note: added paragraph breaks for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: bullying, emotional abuse and manipulation, mentions of depression, infidelity, mental illnesses Mood Spoilers: frustrating, but ends positive Original Post: July 23, 2025 Throwaway account, I just need some advice. I (F29) have been dating my boyfriend (M35) for almost six months. We’ve known each other for about a year and a half. I’m a teacher and make around 50k a year and he is a lawyer and while his yearly earnings vary based on which clients and companies he works with, it’s always somewhere in the six figures. Recently, we attended a family get together at my parents’ house. My parents (M&F 60’s) and older brother (M35) had already met him before this, but also invited some of our extended family and my SIL’s family as well. Everything was going fine until my sister (F32) walked in. We are low contact (we’d be no contact if my parents didn’t want to have a relationship with her) and nobody told me she had been invited. When I asked my mom what was up, she said she invited her because she needed some encouragement. I was absolutely fuming, but decided to see how the night went and leave if my sister decided to stir anything up. Thankfully, my sister seemed fine and I didn’t see her much. My boyfriend left early since he was tired and I thought that was that. Boy, was I wrong. A week passed with no messages from him which is really weird. We text each other everyday, just chatting about our days or making plans for dates. Then all of a sudden, he texts me to meet up at a park and that he “wanted to talk about something important.” ???? I had no idea what was up. We meet, he doesn’t hug me (also out of the ordinary) and I ask him what’s wrong. First thing out of his mouth: are you dating me just because I’m rich? What the hell??? Uh no, I’m not and I tell him that. He just asks me again, like he doesn’t believe me. I ask him where he’s getting this from. It’s so out of left field. Then he asks me if I’ve ever said all my problems would be solved if I married rich. I’m not gonna lie, I definitely have joked about that. But in the same way you say “Maybe I should quit my job and move to Iceland and herd sheep for the rest of my life.” Anyways, I tell him that and ask him again, where the heck is this coming from? He said my sister told him. Apparently, she introduced herself and they chatted for a bit. When he told her he was a lawyer, she said that makes total sense because “OP always wanted to marry rich, looks like she’s living the dream.” Y’all. I could have SCREAMED. I can’t even describe the emotions I was feeling. My sister spent YEARS bullying and abusing me and she has the absolute audacity to take a joke I said when I was a DEPRESSED TEENAGER with health issues out of context and misrepresent me to my boyfriend? Literally insane. I was shaking. I told my boyfriend that what she said was entirely out of context and he can’t trust her. He just kept pressing and asking why she would say something like that so casually if it wasn’t the truth. I told him because she’s a narcissist who has spent years treating me like a punching bag and never taking accountability. He just couldn’t get it. So I left. I told him that if he was going to take the word of one person who he just met over the word of all of my friends and family who will vouch for me that I’m not that kind of person, over all of the months he’s spent getting to know me as a person, then this wasn’t going to work. The tears were already started to come down, but I managed to hold it together alright until I got to my card and just sobbed. I feel broken. I’m in love with my boyfriend. He is the first person I have ever felt comfortable being myself with. He truly is such an intelligent and mature person; the way he communicates in our relationship has been truly healing coming from the family dynamics I grew up with. But the biggest fear I’ve had with dating is that someone wouldn’t trust me. That the person I love and trust the most would question me on who I am when I’ve already shown them. Which is why this whole situation is so confusing and painful. I don’t get it. It’s been a few days and I don’t know where we go from here. I haven’t texted him because I need space and he hasn’t texted me either. Am I overreacting? I feel like he should have known better than to just take essentially a stranger’s word over mine. Where do we go from here? EDIT: Thank you for your comments guys, I’ve been trying to read them all this morning. The commenter who talked about relationships being a two-way street really stuck in my head. I don’t think I’ve handled this properly. That, and the commenter talking about me essentially being “the dumper” and that if I don’t want this relationship to end, I’M the one who needs to make that clear. All in all, I don’t think I handled this situation well. I’m gonna text my boyfriend and see if we can actually just hash everything out. I’m not sure where things are gonna end up, but I know that neither of us can make a decision about anything if we don’t talk about it. We’ll see how it goes. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: Has to be way more to this. If you're paying for all your own stuff. There's zero reason to believe you're with him for money. Is he paying your bills? Do you ask him for money? Does he spend a lot of money on you? Sounds like he's been taken advantage of before. Or he's flying to high in the sky. That kind of comment of "marrying rich" would make any man making good money feel uncomfortable. But if there's no reason to believe that then it should be no issue. OOP: He doesn’t pay my bills and I definitely don’t ask him for money. I was raised with a “we don’t have money for stuff like that” dad so I find asking for money hard even if I’m owed it. He definitely is generous with how he spends money on me. On our first date he showed up with flowers and I was stunned because no one ever did that for me before. After I told him, he’s bought flowers for every single date consistently. When I told him I was gonna wait a few months to take my car into the shop because then I’d have a bit more money saved (it was making a weird squeaking noise) he literally drove me and the car to the shop that day and told me not to worry about it, my safety was more important. Commenter 2: He’s not that good at communicating actually because you ARE correct, he shouldn’t have taken a stranger’s word over yours, let alone your narcissistic sister’s. Did he not know to be wary of her ahead of time? You haven’t shared y’all’s relationship with him yet? OOP: Yes and no. I remember us talking about family on one of the first few dates. He’s no contact with his family (for various reasons) and I brought up being low contact with my sister. He asked me why and I remember telling him that she bullied me a lot growing up and that she had a tendency to make everything about her. I know I didn’t go into all the specifics because our relationship was still fresh and I figured I could go into the more serious stuff later, because it’s a lot for a new relationship. But I guess the rest just never came up. My sister lives in a different city and I didn’t see her at all since my relationship started, so out of sight out of mind I guess. I know I should have been more up front with the info but it’s very hard for me to open up about all of it.   Update: July 27, 2025 (four days later) Hi all. I just want to make an update since a lot has happened over the weekend. Hopefully this isn’t too long of a read for you. Here’s a link to my original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/k7IO2IWLgn Some commenters helped me realize that simply walking away from the conversation was not the right thing to do. I decided to text my boyfriend on Friday and sent him this message: “Hey boyfriend, I want to apologize for leaving things the way I did. I was really upset and hurt so I left before my emotions got worse, which obviously didn’t help the situation. Can we meet up this weekend and talk? I want to see if we can get on the same page and evaluate our relationship.” He texted me back almost immediately and agreed to meet up at my place yesterday. I was pretty nervous, I’m not gonna lie. Some people thought that I should just break up with him and others thought that maybe there was something deeper going on that he wasn’t telling me. Either way, I wanted to get all the facts. When I opened the door, he was holding a bouquet of flowers and had a look on his face I have never seen before. It was a mixture of sad and concerned, which was kind of overwhelming because he’s not really the type to be so expressive or emotional. He gave me the flowers, we sat down and the first words out of his mouth were “I’m so sorry, OP. I know I f*cked up.” That apology just really calmed me down, because I was so afraid this was going to be a back and forth of us trying to defend ourselves for what happened. He said he was just about to text me to meet up and talk when I texted him. I thanked him for the apology, apologized for my reaction too and asked him how did we get here? Can you just explain everything from the beginning so I can understand? I was not prepared for what he told me. For some context, my boyfriend was not the person he used to be. He used to be a serial womanizer, workaholic type of guy (I was aware of all of this before we started dating). His dad (who is also a lawyer) was his idol; he wanted to be just like him. However, his dad had been married to his mom for many years so that was where my boyfriend drew a line. He was fine hooking up with women while he was “single” but as soon as he got married, that would be the end and he would be a faithful partner like his dad. Unfortunately for him, things kind of all came crashing down when he found out his mom had been cheating on his dad for years. When my boyfriend told his dad about it, his dad told him to keep it to himself because his dad HAD ALSO BEEN CHEATING FOR YEARS. I think they both knew about the other’s affair partners and just decided they cared more about their image and reputation so they never got a divorce. My boyfriend was floored. The idealized image of his dad was shattered and he got really depressed. He started drinking and going to bars more after work and that’s where he met our mutual friend, Matt (fake name). Matt was working as a bartender and got to know him a bit. Matt’s a wonderful person, the type who really takes an interest in everyone. Matt helped him get a better handle on his life and they became friends. My boyfriend completely changed his lifestyle: he stopped over-drinking, cut his hours down from the 80-90 hour work weeks he used to do, and stopped objectifying women just to sleep with them. Matt later moved into my city for work and I was introduced to him because he started dating one of my friends, Becca. My boyfriend and I actually met at Matt and Becca’s wedding. Anyways, my boyfriend moved out here a few years ago to get away from his parents after his lifestyle change to essentially restart his life for good. So that brings us to last week, after I left the park. My boyfriend took what I said to heart (that the word of my family and friends should be enough for him to trust me) and went straight to Matt after to get his thoughts. My boyfriend said Matt was really kind letting him explain what happened without interrupting, but then afterward Matt really laid into him. Matt asked him “Do you really think OP would still be living in a crappy 1 bedroom apartment if she was dating you just for your money? Has she ever given you any reason to question her before all of this?” My boyfriend admitted that I have never given him any reason to question my motives. That he knows I’m generous and not materialistic, but my sister’s words got into his head. He said “it was like listening to a child. They have no reason to lie you, so I believed it immediately.” I actually don’t blame him for that part. Every single person who has met my sister describes her as innocent and bubbly and has a very difficult time seeing her as anything but that. Even my parents still view her like this despite them knowing how many people she’s cheated on, how much of their money she’s wasted and never given back and how many times she’s joked about killing/harming them or myself. I didn’t know this next part, but my boyfriend opened up to Matt when they were first getting to know each other about how many women used him for his money. I knew that his last relationship ended badly while he still lived out east, but apparently this was the first major relationship after his lifestyle change and he really loved her. He bought basically everything for her all of the time and she still cheated on him. All of that led him to become really insecure about people’s motives when it came to dating. He explained that even some of the nicest women just lit up and acted completely different when he told them he was a lawyer and it completely killed any desire he had to get to know them better. He told Matt he didn’t want to date anyone unless he knew someone who could vouch for them personally. Matt was the one who encouraged him to ask me out, because he already noticed we liked each other and told my boyfriend that I was a good person. Back to their recent conversation, Matt suggested that if my boyfriend needed more outside confirmation, he should listen to me and go talk to people in my life to get a better perspective on what kind of person I am. My boyfriend has actually spent the last week doing exactly that. He even went to my parents and told them what happened. Apparently, my mom was horrified. She really likes my boyfriend, so when she found out that inviting my sister had essentially caused a rift in our relationship, my mom got really upset. Her whole aspiration has always been to see all her children married and since my sister has had nothing but failed relationships and I’ve otherwise been chronically single, knowing she did anything to mess up my relationship was probably pretty upsetting to her. He said that she was crying and very apologetic. He also asked her to give me space until he had had a chance to apologize to me himself. Which in hindsight makes a lot of sense, because my mom usually calls and texts me everyday and has been MIA this whole week. All in all, my boyfriend said that my friends and family had nothing but good things to say about me, that I was absolutely not a gold-digger and anyone who even suggests that is just plain wrong. I was crying pretty hard by this point hearing everything. My boyfriend kept apologizing and saying he’d do anything to earn my trust back. But he also said that if our relationship was going to work, if my sister might pop up again unexpectedly, he needed to know everything. He wanted to be prepared for exactly what kind of person she is so that this kind of thing never happens again. So I told him. Not absolutely everything, because there’s so much to cover, but once I started mentioning things I just kept going. I’m not going to get into the gritty details on Reddit because my sister might see it and also a lot of it is really painful. But the long and short of it is she has untreated mental illnesses that she refuses to get help for, the times we have gotten her specific help (therapy, inpatient, medications, etc.) she has been uncooperative or stopped treatment against medical professionals’ advisement, and she has a pattern of abusive behavior / love bombing in all of her relationships - both familial and romantic - that she never takes accountability for. This is why I’m low contact with her. By now you’re probably wondering if I’m in therapy. I haven’t been for some time because I’ve been working contracts and didn’t have insurance coverage through work, but I will come September. Something my boyfriend both agreed to in this conversation is for both of us to get individual therapy. Him to deal with his unresolved insecurities and trauma around his parents and past relationships, and me because my sister did a number on me and I’ve never really opened up about it in therapy. We’re also going to set scheduled, weekly times where we’re not necessarily going to go on dates but have uninterrupted time to talk openly, especially on any insights we’ve had in therapy. By this point of the conversation, things were getting a little less heavy and I joked about how we both have the same trauma reaction of going silent when things get too intense. We both agreed that we didn’t handle this well and in the future, any and all concerns we have will be communicated properly and immediately. We’re not going to run away from each other and if we don’t understand something, we’re going to ask questions until we do. Since we talked for hours, we ended up just making dinner at my place and talking some more. I’m really hopeful for what comes next. That’s a feeling I haven’t felt for a while. Again, apologies for the long read. Typing everything out feels like a therapy in itself, LOL. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I hope you go from low contact with your sister to NO contact. OOP: I am essentially no contact with her. I don’t contact her at all for any reason. Why I’m still “low contact” is because sometimes she’ll be at larger family gatherings and I still choose to go to those because I want to see other family. Most of our extended family don’t really know the full history of what she’s like and even the ones that know some stuff still want to give her the benefit of the doubt. I have been pulling back a bit from attending those gatherings anyways because other family members are also starting to show toxic behaviors and I don’t want to surround myself with that. Commenter 2: No one told the OP that boyfriend came around asking about her? Odd. OOP: After my boyfriend’s convos with Matt and then my parents, he basically “had what he needed” in his words to reassure himself of my intentions. Just to round things out, he casually reached out to a few more of my friends and my brother with a “Hey, just curious how you would describe OP as a person and what her values are” text. Only one of my friends kind of questioned him about it and he told her that he was in his head a bit and needed some outside reminders to reassure him of what he already knew. I’m not surprised none of my friends said anything to me. We usually update each other about stuff in person, so I imagine when I meet up with them they’ll bring it up then.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MaintenanceAlone2584 Originally posted to r/AITAH My mom wants to invite my ex whom I cheated on in my wedding, and my fiancée is absolutely furious, HELP Editor's note: made small edits for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation Original Post: June 27, 2025 Throwaway account as my family know my original account. I 28M was a terrible person in past, which I have moved on from. Used to drink a lot and had cheated on my ex 27F countless times in our 3 year relationship, idk how she was stuck with me for so long. so one day, she found out I was cheating again and broke things up, which I don’t blame her for. I was cut off by my family which was heartbreaking I eventually improved myself, got in therapy, and eventually apologized and reconciled with my family. I found out my mother and my ex were still in contact which I didnt mind, they were close even when I was with her, my family invites my ex to family gatherings as her family is lets say not that good, which I again don’t care, we both are civil and don’t interact much. eventually I met a new girl 28F, and 1 year later, I am engaged to her, yeah and she knows how I was in the past as I had told her, we are planning wedding to host only close friends and family. then problem arrives that my mother whos close with my ex wants to invite her to the wedding and my fiance is absolutely furious and the reason my mothers giving is that its a "family event". honestly I don’t want her to be in my wedding too. I called her to talk about it and she told me the same damn thing, she doesnt want to be in my wedding but my mothers insisting which is infuriating. my mother is still saying she wont come if my ex isnt coming and my fiance had arguments with her. I am seriously thinking of not inviting her ATP but if she doesnt come, I am afraid that I might be cut off from my family again. this is so infuriating AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA Relevant / Top Comments Does OOP's mother think he hasn't changed since the breakup or did he moved on too quickly? OOP: When I was 22 I broke up with my ex I think 6 years is alot of time to change right? Commenter 1: It's your wedding, not your mums wedding. Tell your mum outright, "she doesn't want to come, I don't want her to come, fiance doesn't want her to come. Stop being weird about it and let it go" Do NOT invite her. It is a weird entitlement when parents dictate guest lists anyway, unless they are paying, they get no say. If they are paying, you have the right to draw boundaries. Goodluck. If your mum is that hung up on it, maybe you have to let her go too... Commenter 2: NTA. Your mother appears to be either hell-bent on “punishing” you for the rest of your life, by making you interact with your ex on every occasion she can, or she’s so emotionally enmeshed with your ex, she’s willing to lose a son, a DIL and contact with any children you may have in the future over this. Time to point out to her that it’s not just YOU she is upsetting, it’s your Fiancée- and that there may be long-term consequences to this. In the final analysis, who do you want a relationship with -your Fiancée or your family. And in terms of the family…..make quite, quite sure you get the message out there to the rest of the family that you are NOT dis-inviting your mother, but that her insistence on bringing your EX to your wedding is causing a great deal of distress and hurt to your Fiancée, and that, as her husband, you must support her - especially at her wedding.   Update: shit went down: June 28, 2025 (next day) Update: honestly I got overwhelmed with the responses, thank you everyone who replied. As most of you said, I grew a spine and talked to my mother with me and my fiance sitting down She wouldn't drop it, saying she doesn't like my fiance, well my fiance yelled at her. So she's not coming to my wedding anymore I sent all wedding guests explaining the situation that my mother wants to invite my ex to my wedding and basically, most of them are in my side, those who said I am ungrateful, let's just say they are uninvited and blocked. My brother 34M called me to say that I did the right thing which was a relief. Going further I would probably go low contact with my mother. My ex called me, me and my fiance talked to her on speaker and she apologized and said she said no to my mother and won't drop it, I said ok, and ofc she's not invited. My father said he's not coming too if his wife is not coming which is like valid So the wedding is actually small with 50 people But the planned reception is huge with 150 people which my father is throwing on my behalf, my mother will be there so there might be drama. Edit: should have added that my father and father in law both are throwing reception together I will have security just in case in the wedding TLDR: my mother wanted to invite my ex(whom I had cheated on) to my wedding Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I’m glad you put your foot down. Since your father is hosting for the reception, are you sure he won’t cancel it from being pressured by your mother? Do you have a back up plan just in case? OOP: Father said mother won't do anything stupid at reception And ex is not invited in reception Commenter 2: So your dads not going to go to his own sons wedding because his wife is a ..... but will go to the reception looking like a loser who didn't go to his own sons wedding. Got it. OOP: Idk My brother's don't have close relation with dad tbh I am the favourite child who was spoiled rotten by him That was the reason I was terrible in the past Commenter 3: I wouldn't stop with security, put passwords on everything, flowers, cake, catering, venue, the whole thing, she is nuts enough to do something as equaling stupid as inviting your ex, lol. OOP: Will make sure Who is/are hosting the reception? OOP: It's my father and father in law both throwing the reception together Commenter 4: All of this could have been avoided you and the ex agreed to fake her coming then simply “call out sick” on the day of OOP: my mother's the type of person to throw a fit in between wedding the only reason my father's allowing her to come to reception is because she has now promised to remain shut   Update: Mother and father aren't coming to Reception too: July 1, 2025 (three days later) So I had a talk with FIL and fiance about the situation of all and my FIL will alone cover the cost of reception. I offered some money to him but he refused saying I am like his son which made me tear up. And my father and FIL had a shouting match on phone about it so father and mother aren't coming to Reception anymore. Fiance is happy and I am happy that our wedding and reception area going to be drama free. We will definately have security there, but it's gonna be hard explaining everyone what happened many people are gonna bail out of the wedding. I haven't talked to them since, and will probably contact father after wedding and reception are over. Last night I am gonna be honest I cried like a baby saying that my mother and father aren't gonna be there, but my fiance comforted me, probably the most amazing woman I met, can't wait to spend my life with her and I failed my PHD exam lol, results came few hours ago, gonna try afterwards ig. Going forward I am probably gonna be low contact with father and no contact with mother. Top Comments Commenter 1: Man, life's throwing some wild curveballs at you. Keep your chin up. Remember, at the end of the day it's about you and your amazing fiancé. Wishing you both a drama-free and lovely day! Commenter 2: OP, give yourself grace regarding the PHD exam. You've been under a huge amount of stress caused by your mother. For those who bail, just know they never had your best interests at heart. But it sounds like your FIL does, and you're marrying into a strong family who's got your back. Work to build your relationship with him! I agree going NC with your mother is the right thing to do. She needs to take some time and think about her actions and how she's treated you and your fiancé. You might want to go NC with your dad for a while too until well after the wedding and you're getting settled and have finished your PHD. Take care of yourself, OP!   Update: I am married now and shes the most wonderful woman I could have gotten: July 12, 2025 (11 days later) So yesterday I got married. It was the happiest day of my life but yeah it sucked not having my parents there whom I thought wouldnt go this much against me. they didnt even come to the reception too it honestly cried after the reception but my fiance was understanding and comforted me, I couldnt have asked for a better half than her. my ex had sent a message of congratulations after wedding which I replied with thanks. after wedding I still havent contacted my parents but father had sent an air frier as a wedding gift to my address which is like, an appliance so gonna use it. reception was awesome too, thanks to yall for those wonderful comments supporting and suggesting me. I honestly thought I don’t deserve all this due to how terrible I was in the past but people can change, if you have done something wrong in past, don’t let it define yourself, keep it in your mind and move on, you can change TLDR: Few weeks ago my mom wanted to invite my ex to the wedding whom I had cheated on years ago, she disrespected my fiance, so I had uninvited her and my father had also refused to come Relevant Comments Commenter 1: I will say, glad you had a great wedding and reception. if inviting the ex was a point of contention, why respond to her text? why isn’t she blocked?? OOP: it was due to the mother problem, mom was nagging her too, it was just for communication plus I am just gonna delete her number and not gonna contact anymore Commenter 2: Return the air fryer don’t respond don’t do anything but don’t open it or use tin OOP: its a petty peace apology form gonna use it and not respond don’t have an air fryer so its gonna work ig Commenter 3: Op, has/Did your Ex mention taking a step back from your mom and family? I can't imagine feeling comfortable hanging out with a woman who was pushing me to do something I was uncomfortable with, the people the event actually mattered to were uncomfortable with and then her having such a big melt down that she misses her child’s wedding because of something I didn't want to do in the first place. No one was comfortable with this expect your mother apparently! It would really open my eyes to how its time to start distancing myself from a such an unhealthy attachment that doesn't benefit anyone any more OOP: Idk My brother did told me that mom is complaining about ex not picking up the calls though   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Final Update: THANK YOU ALL! After lots of hard work, we the people, got what we deserved! Thanks again for all the advice in this thread. For those interested, the company was "Michael B. Anthony Floral Design & Flower Farm". Please AVOID unless you like rude, incompetent, mean, scammy, awkward, scary, dare I say deranged business people, and embarrassing wedding photos. Edit: Thank you all very much for the advice and laughs. Keep them coming. I've shared this thread with the "florist" in hopes it may make him budge. And my wife feels 100% less crazy now. Hi all, First off, I hope this finds you well. It's seldom I'm on reddit, but I'm seeking the advice of florists and this seems like the right place! Thank you in advance for your time. I'm posting in this group of experienced florists to see: i) if you think my wife and I got ripped off for $3000, ii) if in my florist's shoes, you would refund me, and iii) if you think I should take this to small claims court or I'm crazy Attached are images of the agreed-upon flowers vs what was delivered. Story of how this went down is below. This is the actual image of the arrangement agreed to via email, and the final product delivered. We have also included a second image to show exactly which flowers were real vs. plastic in the final product This is our agreed-upon arrangement, used as sample via email before we provided payment Comparison of arrangement agreed on in email vs. arrangement delivered Flowers in circles are real. Everything else is a 1-piece plastic vine, per pillar Here's the story: - My wife and I got married last month - We contracted with a "Best of The Knot" florist from our area 2 months before the wedding - He markets himself as a premium florist and flower farmer - We ordered four 7 foot pillars of hydrangeas (I will attach the actual image that the florist and we agreed to) and accent flowers - On our wedding day, we were delivered 4 plastic-flower pillars with about 2 feet of hydrangea per pillar - Total cost was about $3000, or over over $100 per foot of flowers - As soon as the flowers were delivered, the florist in question stopped responding to our calls and emails. We were trying to request a partial refund - Finally, he responded to our third email, simply saying "I fulfilled the contract and won't be providing any refund." He hasn't responded to any of our followup calls or emails. - Nowhere in the contract does it say anything about use of primarily fake flowers, and that it will look very little like our agreement. The contract even says "We try to use fresh and local flowers whenever possible. We will notify you in advance of any proposed substitutions." Are we crazy? Or did we get scammed? What do you think we can do or are we just SOL? THANK YOU! Matt Edit: -Additional photos (front of arrangement and closeup on the faux flower vines) - Note: We are in the midwest (suburbs of Detroit, MI) if that makes any difference on price Additional Edit: Here's the exact description of flowers and colors he would use (some have asked): "Color scheme will be: pinks, greens and whites. Florals will include: cherry blossom, pink stock, Italian ruscas, white lisianthus, white hydrangea, green spider mums" https://preview.redd.it/8v5biu4m14af1.png?width=1856&format=png&auto=webp&s=cea7d1afd23a136737c814d594b607940c70f3a8 https://preview.redd.it/d1u1fw4m14af1.png?width=2999&format=png&auto=webp&s=4aaab6b07fcd1e8e8e721bb05f93c4d21c83bafb submitted by /u/DiamondNewby to r/florists [link] [comments]

I (44M) and getting married to Amber (35F, fake name) next weekend. On Friday I got a call from my youngest sister Luna (34F, fake name) asking if I could pick her up from the hospital as her husband was away with work. Her job can be really physical and she's extremely outdoorsy and active so her calling to be picked up from the hospital isn't unusual. When I arrived to pick up Luna she was a bit of a mess covered in blood, and when she smiled she was missing a tooth at the front. Turns out she'd come off her bike and smashed her face on the pavement. She's knocked out a tooth, got a fracture to her wrist, grazes and cuts all over including her face, and had broken her nose with some awful looking bruising around her eyes which has now come up. Luna's fine just annoyed she can't ride her bike and needs to rest. She did ask me not to tell Amber which I thought was weird. When I told Amber than Luna was hurt, she asked if any of Luna's injuries would affect the wedding. I said Luna had a fracture to her wrist so might have to carry her flowers differently and might find having makeup applied uncomfortable as she had broken her nose. Amber told me that I needed to tell Luna she couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore. I disagreed as I don't want Luna to be the only sibling excluded, especially over a broken nose. Amber said that she didn't want wedding pictures like Luna's, she wanted pictures she could be proud of. In Luna's wedding pictures she's got a busted lip because she got punched at work a couple days before her wedding and her husband had a cut for his forehead from headbutting a table during his bachelor party the weekend before the wedding. In those pictures you don't see the injuries straight away, you see how happy they are. Amber then told me that she'd told Luna that if she had any injuries to her face in the run up to the wedding then Amber was going to make Luna just a guest. I told her that I wasn't going to tell Luna that she couldn't be in the wedding party over a broken nose. Amber's gone to stay at her sister's as she's mad at me choosing Luna over her and our wedding. Her sister has messaged me saying that Amber's considering cancelling the wedding because I'm not onboard with her vision for our wedding and said that I'm being an asshole for not prioritising Amber and her feelings. She also said that Luna knew what the consequences of getting hurt so close to the wedding would be. AITAH for not wanting to remove my sister from the wedding party over a broken nose? ETA: This has gotten so many more responses than I ever thought it would. I've been reading the comments and it's been mentioned a few times about Luna's injuries and been speculated about how she gets them. My BIL is not hurting her, nor is she doing it for attention. She works in private security, she got punched before her wedding day breaking up a fight. I was there was my BIL cut his forehead, I saw him headbutt the table and went with him to the hospital. When she had her cycling accident, she was wearing her gear, had her helmet on but she hit a steep curb after swerving because someone opened their car door into the road without looking. Before this her last hospital trip and accident was just before Christmas when she broke her foot after dropping a kettlebell on it. Last year was That accident should have made me realize about Amber as she was upset that all the pictures that had Luna in them from our family Christmas Luna had a boot on her foot. According to Amber it was distracting in her pictures and there was a few comments on it on Amber's Instagram when she posted the pictures. I've messaged Amber and she's coming around this afternoon and we are going to have a talk. submitted by /u/TA_Sib_Wedding to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

I (35F) am still friends with some of the people I went to college with. One of them, Debbie (fake name, 36F) got married this past January, after being engaged for two years. Early in the planning process, Debbie had asked my 6-year-old daughter (who was 5 at the time) to be the flower girl. We agreed, and she had the dress sent to us right away. We barely spoke about the subject for a while. Then the wedding was delayed by almost a year (the original date was in March ’24). I’m still not sure why, I’ve heard 3 or 4 different reasons. By the time the actual wedding date came around, the flower girl dress did not fit my daughter anymore. We didn’t find out until roughly 10 days before the wedding (admittedly my fault), and I texted Debbie right away to ask what I should do about it. Her first reply was “Figure it out.” I tried to ask her where she’d bought the dress, where I could get a similar one or whether it would be okay for my daughter to wear a different dress. I basically gave her a list of ways I could fix this and asked her what she preferred. Debbie responded with “I don’t have time for this. Stop making your whale daughter my problem.” Obviously, I decided against attending the wedding after that. As far as I’m concerned, we’re no longer friends. And to be clear, I know that up until this point, I was not the AH. I didn’t tell anyone about it at first, but our absence was obvious (my friends missed me, and my daughter was supposed to be the only flower girl). Whenever Debbie was asked about it, she apparently just said we’d had an argument, but it wasn’t a big deal. When our mutual friends and acquaintances asked me, I told them the truth, without sugarcoating it or trying to defend Debbie. I even showed my friends the text messages that proved everything. Everyone took my side. About a week ago, Debbie called me. She apologized for what she said about my daughter, but told me I have no idea how stressed she was at the time. She said it wasn’t fair for her to lose friends over a mistake she’d made when she was under so much pressure. Again, I don’t think I was in the wrong for skipping the wedding, but I’m wondering whether I took it too far by telling our mutuals why. EDIT: Yes, I know I should have made sure the dress still fit sooner. I already know that was my mistake, and I'm not blaming Debbie for it. That's not what I'm asking about. Update submitted by /u/Complex_Anteater_607 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

This is a very long story so I will do my best to make it concise and not too personal, as I could go on forever about this dynamic. My sister is getting married this year, and she is having a super bougie and expensive wedding. That’s great for her! I (32f) have a 23 month old currently with my soon to be husband and she is beloved, she is meant to be her flower girl. The wedding is at a location about 2 hours from home for us, and is a weekend long affair. Events start on Friday and the wedding is Sunday, it is an intimate gathering of only closest family and friends, maybe 50 people. My immediate family (meaning mom, sisters including the bride, their partners and my little family of 3) are sharing a house all weekend nearby to the wedding venue. There are multiple days of events which are all inclusive of a few children in the family, but here’s where my dilemma starts. My sister informed me that the reception will be child free, which is fine, however she went on to say she had “decided” that my husband would have to be the one to take our daughter back to the house and watch her and he couldn’t come to her reception dinner. I went along with this at first because my sister is very difficult and I like to keep the peace, I’m the oldest. I approached my mom about it and told her I would like to get a babysitter for that time so I would be able to share the entire event with my husband. My mom immediately became defensive and said she had already discussed that with my sister and my sister didn’t want any babysitter, because “I (meaning me) would be most comfortable with Dan (husband fake name) watching our daughter and anyone else will make me nervous and I wouldn’t be present for the wedding.” Again at first I went with this, but it was apparent it was bothering my husband a great deal. His feelings were hurt at this point and he felt excluded. Why could we not get a babysitter for our own daughter?! I totally understood where he was coming from and was getting more upset and offended by the situation because no one was sticking up for us, my mom claimed she can’t get in the middle and mediate or tell my sister it was wrong. In fact, my mom started to insist I had it wrong and no one was trying to exclude Dan. Well then why don’t we have any option but for him to leave and watch our child? She is OUR child, I 100% understand a childless dinner and reception, but we should be able to choose who watches her at that time. Instead my husband was just thrown off to the side and we are being made to feel like we’re wrong for feeling excluded. I told my sister today that after much thought either we would have to revise this situation, or I would not be able to attend the reception either. I feel a wedding is a momentous, romantic event and all my sisters have partners they will get to make memories with while I go stag. That’s wrong. I am a bridesmaid, I am doing a lot for her wedding and have always loved and supported my sister but have felt chronically judged and put down by her since we were kids. My husband and I had a rough patch once last year and she has judged him for it very wrongly since, I believe this is rooted in her feelings towards us in that regard but everyone is denying it. I don’t want to cause drama on my sisters wedding day, it is not about us, but I feel uncared for that no one in my family sees this request for my husband to not attend the wedding reception as preposterous. 14 hours later since I texted her and my sister has not responded yet, I don’t have a good feeling about what’s next. TLDR; My sister sneakily uninvited my husband to her wedding reception under the guise that it’s childless and he has to watch our daughter. We were told specifically multiples times it was her decision that Dan would have to watch her and we would not be allowed to get a babysitter for the event. Now my family is upset with me for saying either I’m getting a babysitter and he’s coming, or I won’t go either as I don’t want to go stag to a wedding when everyone else there (literally) has partners. submitted by /u/GroundbreakingAir584 to r/AmIOverreacting [link] [comments]

alt text: Fake screenshot of a Milo Rossi Miniminute Man Youtube video. Edited with a frame from his 'Ghosts of the Green Sahara Video,' where Rossi is standing in front of a chalkboard with his hands clasped together. The title is edited to say 'Don't Have a Hollow Earth Wedding.' The frame is edited to have an image of Ancient Alien's Hollow Earth thumbnail, Milo holding a bouquet of yellow flowers, and subtitles reading "Now, I have to ask... why the hell would you want a Hollow Earth wedding?" /end alt text submitted by /u/AdventurousAd4895 to r/thomastheplankengine [link] [comments]

I am not OP. That is u/Unlikely_Cap_713 who posted to r/MarkNarrations TW: death, cancer Original Post Sept 7th, 2024 Throw away because I have family on my main I 37F have two siblings 43M and 29F. For the sake of the post, I will call them Mason and Brittney. Our father died when we were young due to an undiagnosed heart problem. His parents had gifted them an old family homestead on a lot of land at their wedding and helped a lot to keep our family above water before they passed. Our mother finally found her feet after about 5 years of deep depression and did well for our family. But she was also very frugal. We had good clothing but no fancy vacations. Our mother had ignored signs of bad health for years, even when we tried to get her to go see someone for it. She passed away recently due to late stage cancer, leaving us with a lot. My siblings each got more than 150,000 in money, sentimental but expensive items, and furniture. I did not get the money. I received the house, the land and some items. The house and land (which had been sold off bit by bit over the years due to mom's declining health and inability to properly tend to it) is worth far below the 150,000 my siblings received. I had moved in with mother near her end, and it really was only supposed to be temporary as I believed the house would be sold after her passing and the money split three ways. I already had a plan to roommate with a friend and her family after mom's death to make that process go more smoothly. Most of my stuff has been sitting in storage for almost a year. As the only one who worked from home, I could watch the home health workers and nurses to make sure they were being kind, doing their jobs, and not stealing. Mostly, it was to make sure they treated my mother with respect and kindness but my brother did worry about someone walking off with her wedding ring since she was so attached to it. We all agreed for it to be placed in with her ashes. So I made a little set up and took care of her. My siblings came by frequently, 3-6 times a week, each of them. Mason had 2 kids and Brittney only has 1 but they visited as well, though not as much near the end because it was hard for them. So in the weeks leading up to her death, my mother had me pack up what items went to who in large boxes and set them off to the side. My siblings hated me doing this but understood it was what she wanted. The will was read, they checked their boxes to make sure my mom didn't miss anything when telling me to pack, and they left me to my house. Weeks passed and I finally felt like I could start doing things to the house. Now, I did say the house was dingy. Its not worth 150,000 but the housing market is crazy so I thought it was a bit of a luck. It needs repairs: the roof, the chimney, the water heater, some pipes, the doors and windows for heating purposes, and everything inside is so darkly painted or made of wood that just sucks out all of the light. I immediately had people checking the roof, the chimney and the water heater. My siblings offered to lend me the money but I declined as I had been saving for a while to buy an apartment or something small since it is only me. I could also rent rooms for the local college students to get some of that money back. I picked out paints for different rooms but decided to leave the wood flooring. As I started going through everything in the house, which had specifically been left to me as stated in the will, I began finding things. Money in books, and there are so many books. Money taped under beds, money folded into the "fancy sheets", money hidden in the tea pot and cups that has been passed down int the family which we had never been allowed to touch in fear we might break them. I found jewelry in different boxes, hidden in the attic, the vents, in sock drawers. Some of it was so gaudy it had to be costume but I put it all together (thank goodness I did) and took it to be appraised. The worth of the jewelry is nearly half of what my siblings got, even the would-be costume jewelry is worth something. Even now, I'm still finding things. I found antique items, fancy watches, untouched clothing and bags with price tags still on them, belts and shoes still in their boxes. All of this was tucked away, apparently hidden, and not talked about. Some of the clothing still had recites, and since neither I nor my sister can wear them I took them back to see if I could get the refunds or started selling them online - since, again, everything left in the house was specifically left to me. I took the cash and used it to help pay for the immediate repairs, and it almost covered the whole thing. I looked through the jewelry and kept what I liked, which was very little as I am not into that sort of thing, and put aside some for my sister and my brother's daughter. I liquidated the rest and put that into savings. I also put aside some of the bags and belts and watches for my siblings and their families. We can't fit the clothes but those things are easier to swap around. I invited everyone over and gifted them the items, telling them I had found them while I was cleaning everything out and thought they may like to have them. Everyone was happy to get them, and there wasn't much bickering among the kids. They asked what else I found and I explained the jewelry I kept and the clothing I was selling off. My brother got a weird look on his face and asked if I had found any money. I told him I had, but tried to downplay it as mostly change and loose bills. He asked to see the money and I grabbed a giant water refill container I had started storing all the coins in. He told me that was a lot of coins and asked if I was going to use it for the laundry mat since I left them all loose. I rolled my eyes because I have a washer/dryer set. I told him there was no point in cashing them in until I cleaned the whole house. He told me to let them know so we could all split that and the money I got from selling the clothing. When I asked why, he said "So we can split it." I asked him why I would split it when they all had gotten large cash inheritances, sentimental and expensive things, and some other things? I literally got the house, the problems, the clean up and the nice things I did find that I thought they might like, I handed over without being asked to. He told me I didn't have to be a greedy asshole about it and to never mind. My sister gave me the side eye but didn't say anything. But I feel guilty for misleading how much I had actually found, even though it was all put towards making the house better. To be clear: all of my mother's debts were paid and she had money set aside for the funeral service and cremation. So AITA? Update Sept 11th, 2024 Throw Away account Edit: spelling. Firstly, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and bits of advice. I felt much better after reading so many of the NTAs comments. I also took to heart the "shut your mouth" comments, even if a few of them seemed a little rude. Onto the update. My house (still feels weird saying/typing this) already had outside cameras due to when I moved in and installed them. But I did go and add more to the property line, inside the house in key spots, and around the garage. I also put up no trespassing signs while I look through companies that do proper fences. The property is just small enough I can swing the fence. I did change the locks as soon as I read the advice to do so. I hadn't thought about that, since I work from home. Mom also kept a spare hidden in a plant because my sister used to lose everything constantly so I made sure to remove it and not replace it with the new one. Its a good thing I did all of this because two days after my initial post, I had to run into town for groceries and a few quick errands. I live on the outskirts with neighbors a bit of a distance either way so they wouldn't notice anyone stopping by. I got a notification on my phone about movement and I checked because I wasn't expecting any packages. My brother was getting out of his car, looked around, and checked the windows. He tried his key in the door and got upset it didn't work. He checked the flower plant and kicked it over. The cameras around the house let me communicate so I just said, "That was rude" into the speaker. He jumped and spun around to see nothing. I asked him what he wanted and he demanded to know why I put up cameras. I said, "Because I'm a single woman living in the woods? Ya dumb shit." He shifted from foot to foot before saying he would be back so we could talk and he left. I messaged the video evidence of him trying to get in while I wasn't home to him, his wife, my sister and her fiancé. With the message I sent - I changed the locks because I don't know who mom gave them out to - like her friends - and I have cameras. Because of this attempt to get in while I'm not home, no one will be getting the new key. I don't just randomly try to get into your house when your not home." He sent me a lot of nasty texts after that, trying to shame me for doing that. I told him he shouldn't be doing things he doesn't want others to know about, and that its a reflection on him, not me. He told me I was a bitch and blocked me. My sister thinks I went too far by telling his wife, because she is threatening to take the kids to her mom's. And she thinks I went too far by showing her fiancé because now he doesn't want him to have keys to their's for emergencies. Somehow, I get the feeling this isn't over yet. Time to adopt a very big dog. Update 2 Sept 14th, 2024 Firstly, thank you everyone who made new comments and gave more advice. I particularly enjoyed the entire mini-thread about the geese guards. Super amazing and cute idea. But I have a terrible fear of birds. So I am adopting a bonded pair of doggos from my local shelter. Once my name clears from the "cruel to animals" list of "these gross people aren't allowed to adopt" list, I can take them home. No pictures yet, I'm afraid. I really wasn't set on making another post. Or if I did, it would be when this is all washed and done. I did start a paper trail with both the police and a lawyer, who is a family friend. I documented the attempted break in, didn't press charges but had them speak with my brother, and have him put on notice. He ended up getting new phone numbers, yes with an S, to contact me to berate me and shame me for "siccing those pigs on (him)". I took all of those messages to the lawyer and sent off a few things: a cease and desist for the alarming numbers of calls, texts, social media DMs and emails he sent me. Some were full of rage about how I "took his kids from him" and the others were about how he "knew you rat bitch found money in the house". Not once did he mention the post and honestly I'm done enough with him that I don't care if he sees it because LAWRENCE SAYS YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS MASON (fake name) Anyway. My sister "Brittney" (fake name) asked me out to coffee and apologized for taking Mason's side. She just didn't want the friction and thought the three of us could have worked it out together instead of getting others involved. She and her fiancé have the understanding that he handles his family and she does her's. I guess, for like disputes and things. So by sending it to him before she had a chance to even react to it, it felt like overstepping because I didn't give her the chance to do literally anything before her fiancé was losing his mind. I did apologize because I hadn't thought of it like that. I asked her what she would have done if I had just sent her the video and she said she would have sat on it for like a day to think about it and then probably would have asked me for more information or talked to him to see what the hell he was thinking. She also said I was a "fucking moron" for saying the gifts I had given everyone had been from the house. I should have said something about a bonus at work or something. I have no reason to trust her but it makes sense so I am going to cautiously keep in mind that she does have a harder time getting thoughts and emotions across in a "normal" way. Our parents weren't into the whole "test your child for xyz" so she has been struggling with the idea of being tested for certain neurodivergent tendencies. All this said, I found something really weird and I don't want to open it. In the basement, tucked far into a corner and buried behind a bookshelf and under boxes and boxes of things is an ancient looking freezer. It was and still is plugged in. Its running. It was buried and dusty in a way that I know there is no edible food inside of it. But you ever get that feeling that something just....isn't right? Do I open it? Do I pretend I never saw it? Do I have someone else open it? Any ideas about why it was hidden? My one friend joked it was my grandfather's game box and it has decades old deer inside of it. Is that a thing? Update 3 Sept 15th, 2024 I wanted to thank everyone for the words of advice and ideas how to go about finding out what is in the freezer. I also have a mini update on Mason (fake name). I will get the freezer out of the way because I know so many are eager to hear about it. I called over my lawyer friend Lawrence (fake name, neat lil play on words yeah?) and explained that I needed more information on a few things but would need a house call because of the contractors coming and going. When he arrived and no one was there, he looked annoyed until I explained the freezer. He told me if we found a body, he was bailing but was laughing as we went down to the basement. This was all yesterday. We put on gloves and the masks. He held the camera, and said all this identifying stuff like date, time address, ect. I opened it. Inside were important documents sealed in a lot of plastic. There were also old bottles of moonshines, frozen pressed flowers in a book with dates, a bit of cash (coins, specifically) and an ancient looking porcelain doll. The documents were birth certificates and death certificates going back quite a while. It looks like I would have had another sibling if they had lived, and I would have had three more aunts if they had lived, and a few other even older relatives. We figure the flowers were from the funerals or services, considering the dates attached the pages the flowers were pressed. The bottles....jars, really... of moonshine looked old. The only reason I knew it was moonshine was thanks to Lawrence. He said alcohol doesn't usually freeze and he opened it, and told me based on the smell. The coins will be appraised very soon, as I am also still going through all the other coins I have found in the curtains, and other odd places. Thank you to the redditor who told me to look in the curtains. As for the doll, it looks very old but in good condition. It was in a box and wrapped with cloth, old newspapers and more. Lawrence thinks the hair on its head is real and human, because it certainly isn't synthetic. I had to dry it off after it thawed and there is a name smudged on its foot. Its sitting on my living room coffee table right now. I'm not sure what to do with it. The news paper dates give us a vague idea of the time frame it was put away in and its old. Onto Mason. His wife has filed for divorce. She is going for full custody. She has the kids with her at her mother's. She reached out to me and explained that Mason had told her the only thing left was the house and it was willed to all three of them, and that he was waiting for me to buy out his part of the house. But when I sent that message, something seemed hinky. So she started to dig. Mason has maxed out all their credit cards, the house is now on a reverse mortgage when it had been paid off, and he opened a few in her name. He didn't use that "life changing money" left to him to pay off any of that. She isn't sure where the money went but when she locked down her credit, it left him unable to use the cards he took out in her name and it sparked a massive fight. I can't even begin to imagine where the money has gone. He doesn't have new cars, new devices, new anything. Their two kids 14F and 10M are both old enough to understand what is going on. They won't talk to him until he tells them why they are losing their childhood home, why he hurt their mom, and where all the money is. My niece knows all the accounts are empty, including her college account and she is furious. My nephew isn't as worried about college (understandable). Mason keeps messaging me about how "its all (your) fault" and just overall being nasty. I would have blocked him if it wasn't for the fact we are collecting evidence. My sister admitted he is ranting to her about it all but she doesn't want to get him upset at her because they live just a few blocks away from each other so its easier for him to come knocking on her door. Despite that, she will not be staying with me. My fence should be starting built any day now. I will be getting my two doggos tomorrow. I think I have everything I need. So, that is everything so far. Update 4 Sept 22nd, 2024 Hello everyone! I'm sorry its been a bit since I updated. Between the fence, the new doggos, and problems with Mason, I just didn't have time to update. So to start, I am very sorry to say that I have forgotten my doggy tax. When I have time or remember, I will post them on this profile. One is a pittie and one is a German Shepard. They are both high energy but not what one would consider "pups", though they are my pups. Next, thank you everyone for your wonderful insight and ideas. I did pass along to my (soon to be ex) SIL about checking her children's credit. I checked mine as well. The kids have smaller problems with their credit now, thanks to Mason. She locked down credit and I sent Lawrence (my lawyer, fake name) to speak with her and he set her on a path of wrecking Mason with one of his lawyer friends who specializes in this sort of thing. My credit was not touched but I have locked it down, and I warned my sister of the same but I haven't heard back. To clear a few things up quickly. When my SIL told me they were "underwater on the house" I had translated that to a "reverse mortgage" because there was a big celebration years ago about them finally paying it off. When SIL locked down her credit, she jumped through hoops and got the several cards that she did not open shut down. I don't know those details but it was done very quickly. Yes, several. So for the confusion, I do apologize. I wanted to keep things short. I won't be able to do much in terms of trust funds for my niblings, unfortunately, but I am the trustee or overseer of the ones my mother had set up for them. Debating heavily on telling them/my SIL because word might get back to Mason. I fronted three month's worth of rent for my SIL so she could get her own place so that the courts had no reason to look at her with suspicion. Mason is quickly going to lose the house and I don't want any reason to chance her custody. Another reason I did that was so that she and the kids could get to somewhere he didn't know about. All contact is now through lawyers. Mason went to her mother's house while they were all out to a school function and destroyed the place. They are still trying to figure out if anything was taken. Furniture, pictures, and decorations were smashed, clothing (including his own kids') were shredded, and he threw mud all around the house. He popped tires on my SIL's car, and threatened the neighbors. The neighbors called the cops, there was a problem during the arrest, and he and one of the cops were sent to the ER for stitches. How he managed bail money, I don't know. But I suspect he bullied our sister Brittney into it. Because she has been radio silent during all of this. I think he may have taken up staying with her. The house is going to be taken any day now, and my SIL is fighting to keep her car. That was what my SIL told me. Mason has been nonstop messaging and calling me. He even started a smear campaign on social media, getting our extended family to ream me out for not supporting a grieving man who just lost his mother, his wife, his kids, his house and his dignity. When I spoke with them it quickly became apparent he circulated one hell of a bullshit story that painted me as a wicked sister who stole everything from him and that's why I could afford to do all the work on the house. Like, I have a drug problem and dried up everything he had for drugs, rehab and more. All. Bullshit. Even after talking with them, not very many believe me. My fence is being built, and work around the house is still ongoing. I added a home security system and a few hidden baseball bats because some of the DMs I got about what he could do scared me. I added extra locks around the house and am considering getting rid of the sliding glass door or getting something to lock it like a gate. Lawrence warned me putting too much going forward might harm my case of a restraining order and slander. So if I update it might not be for a while unless something wild happens. I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts submitted by /u/secure-raspberry-763 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/luvthyf_ingneighbor Originally posted to r/EntitledKarens My Neighbor Demands I Marry His Son Trigger Warnings: homophobia, cancer, destruction of property Original Post: August 22, 2024 This is a weird one, and I don't reddit normally, so sorry. My GF told me to post here, lol Okay, so I "Zennia" F35, inherited my Pop's (my grandfather) house. Well, technically, me and mom did. Mom is a college professor and remarried to a technical writer/engineer who makes a ridiculous amount of money and a big Ole mansion of a house (to me) in the well-off part of town. So she said Pops house is mine. I was grateful and am still. This was about a year ago. I need to sort of set the stage here. Pop was a popular man. He helped everyone. The kids all called him Uncle or Pops, and his peers called him the Sultan of 2nd Street (never knew why they went with Sultan, other than illeration, since he was black lol). He donated and loaned and gave money to whomever needed it. He was a Vietnam War vet, and despite the stigma of it at the time and that of being a black man, he made something of himself as boxer and boxing instructor. He opened his own place and eventually opened more. When mom was small, he bought that house, and when mom got pregnant with me and my father flaked out, Pops became that father figure. My childhood bedroom is in this house (it's now my study) and so everyone here knows us. Pop passed, and I got the house. All caught up? Okay, so there is a neighbor to my immediate right, who we call Sugah Mama or Sugah. Everyone knew that she had it bad for Pops but see after he left Mama (my grandmother) or more likely . She left him, he chose the bachelor/Playa life. Yeah, he got around. It's still debatable if the woman who owns the house is on the 3rd, if her son is my uncle. Anyway, Sugah has a son "Miles" (M50-something) who also has a son “James”. James is my age, and we get on well. We used to be joined at the hip in grade school, and even though we glowed into different cliques in middle and high school, we were friendly. Sugah and some of the other older folks would joke about us. Soulmates. We even share a birthday with a strange coincidence, I will admit, but then they keep adding AT THE SAME HOSPITAL! well, yeah, because back then, there was only one good one nearby. Lol Now, to be clear, I am bisexual with a strong preference if my dating history has any sway for nonbinary people or women. No shame in my game. I can talk about the absolute bullshit of homophobia in the black community, but you're not here for that. So I meet my now GF "Dinah" who is also my age and she is absolutely a dream. She's smart and hot and sweet and thoughtful and kind and a million other things. I have to stop there, or this post will be all about how out of my league she is. I started having her around the house, and Mr. Miles was around and offered his and James' help in getting stuff from the truck into the house. At one point, James pulled me aside as he knew she was my GF and said I shouldn't mention it to his dad, but it was too late. Mile had asked her if the two of us were college buddies, and she replied that we're dating. Mr. Miles pulls me aside after and asks if it's true, and I said yes. Enter the homophobia and what would Pop think? Lol, I told him, Pop knew I was bi for years. I came out to him in high school, and he was a-okay with it. That shut him up for a bit, and we got me moved in. Well, now about a week ago, Mr. Miles came by. I WFM, but the fiscal year is coming about, and it's a busy time, so I made Mr. Miles had some tea and sat with him but made him aware I was calling this my lunch hour and couldn't entertain long as I was still working. He said "well I will cut to the chase then," and said so matter of factly, "you need to leave that woman." I laughed as my GF and I have been together now for over a year and are happy, so... no. why the hell would he even come here with this? He said Sugah is sick (which I knew. She sadly got uterine and breast cancer in March) and she needs to see her boys married. He said he prefers I marry James, but IT WOULD BE OKAY with him if I marry his older brothers Daniel (36) or Paul (37). I told him yeah no. I won't be marrying any of his sons. I said I already have a ring for Dinah and am planning to propose to and marry her. I said I know he doesn't agree with gay marriage, and he frankly doesn't have to. It's my life, and while I love and respect him like a real uncle, he will not tell me who to love or marry. He yelled at me and said some awful things, and I wanted to say I was a badass and stared him down like Gayle King did to R Kelly in the meme but...I cried. A lot. I just asked him to please leave. He did but ripped my pride flag from my pole at the door, calling me slur. I got a new one the next day, and it went missing, so my GF bought me a door cam and a new flag. Sure enough, he came that night and ripped that one down, too. I texted him the video and said I would not press charges if he stopped all this. He said to go ahead, "call the police on another black man," and if he's killed, it's on me and my "sins." It's night here and I was cuddled up to my boo after a movie date night and were playing Mass Effect (video game) - ASIDE but can you beleive this woman has never HEARD of this game!? - and there is knock at my door. It's Paul. He asks to speak with me outside, so I tell Dinah to keep playing, and I will be back. I don't see Paul often, so I thought something happened - maybe Sugah got worse or something happened to his dad. Paul explained that he was here to ask me out. He had flowers and a stuffed unicorn (I like unicorns don't read into it lol), and I, of course, told him ummmmm, I am in a relationship." He said he knew I had a GF but that wasn't a real relationship as a relationship is between a man and a woman and he knows I date men as I've dated a male mutual friend in my 20s. I just said my relationship is both real and none of his business and to leave. He then said he guessed I liked feminine men since my GF is trans - which OK bud she's not, but even if she was, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS HOTTIE. So I just laughed it off snd said he was jealous he couldn't pull a hottie like mine and said I have cameras with audio so if he can please fuck all the way off and not force me and my GF to call the cops, it would be appreciated. I told Dinah, who howled in laughter and paused the game to watch the doorcam footage, laughed more, and then told me to post here. So here we are. Sorry? You're welcome? Idk. Relevant Comments OOP needs to take extra precautions for herself and her partner OOP: My mom agrees with you. She's pushing for us to stay with her for a spell. Dad said he bought extra cameras and lights on Amazon and can sinatll them tonight. They are acting like a cross is burning on the lawn and my GF doesn't think they are overreacting at all. This is the South in the USA and GF is a retired Marine so...she's got her 2nd amendment right and the papers for it so I feel okay as long as she is with me... That said if she were hurt I would hate myself for not listening so we're in her care right now going to my parents and daddy is on his way to my house to put in the cameras and lights. Sadly I am used to folk telling me they can "fix" me somehow or that sleeping with a man will "fix" me etc. Mr. Miles ain't the first bigot but he damn well is the most dedicated. Mom talked with Sugah and Sugah is horrified and said she will put up a rainbow flag at her house and see if "that boy got the balls to rip it down from my damn house" Gotta love her.   Update #1: August 27, 2024 Howdy. Y'all might not remember but I'm that bi chick madly I'm love with my smokin brilliant GF and living beside my homophobic neighbor. Heres the post I'm updating - https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledKarens/s/67P8SoK3Ao So a few days ago I shared about Mr. Miles losing his ever-loving mind about me having a GF and basically put his son up to come over, demean my relationship, and ask me out cuz that's suuuuuuuuuch a great plan /s For safety, given Mr. Miles losing all the sense the good lord gave him, GF and I stayed up at my folks and just got back yesterday evening. My dad double checked all the new lights and cameras and then walked over to "have a friendly chat" with Mr. Miles. Not sure what he said but it had to be good because Mr. Miles didn't even sit on his porch to smoke his nightly cigar. And if you knew that man the way I do you know that's not in character. I asked Daddy what he said to the poor man and he laughed and said "Oh, Baby, definitely nothing that would remind him of our good and mighty God or offering to send him to Him." Sooooooooo Sorry I digress. So I expected everything to be okay - because I'm stupid - and thus went back to life per usual. I ran my GF's bath, jumped her bones, and woke up to make her breakfast thinking my life is some kind of wonderful. Only to hear a knock at the door. Today is Monday. Everyone who works is off to work and everyone who doesn't knows I WFH on weekdays. Something didn't feel right so I woke my Love up and told her to get dressed just in case something was about to happen. I'm no warrior but I did have my bat and opened the door and made eye contact with a cop. We stare at each other. He looks down at my bat, then back to my face, then turns showing the cop behind him and looks at her. And I am here thinking well SHIT this is what I get for assuming this all would blow over. I will admit, I am not everyone's cup of tea so I use humor to compensate for being...well a weirdo lol don't know how else to put it. So I grin at the cops and ignore my heart racing and place the bat down and just say "Sorry I thought you were someone else. Coffee?" They...weren't amused and apparently didn't want coffee either. Who was I expecting and why a bat? I just said I wasn't sure, but we're two women alone in a house with someone at the door at the ass Crack of dawn so.... They asked for me by name and I confirmed I was who I was, even showed my ID. They asked me for my GF as they got a call. GF comes out and shows her ID. They ask to speak to us separately and I was getting upset. "Whats this about, sir?" The cop looked at me really annoyed, then looked at my GF and asked if she felt safe with me, to which she said she did. He said he needs to investigate a call. I ask what call. He says he's the one asking questions and all I could think was greeeeeat he's that type of cop. He tried to step inside but we were speaking through a screen door which I locked last night and it was then he actually asked if he could come in. I said no, sir. My GF said she will step out with him to answer any questions and she does and the female cop takes her a distance away and talk. The male cop opens the now unlocked door and peers in my house asking if he can have a look around. I ask again what all this is about. He asks me questions. All centering around why anyone might think I am holding my GF here against her will. I was like what do you mean against her will? He says her BF called and said I took her forcefully and kept her here overnight. To which I reply, what fucking BF? She's a lesbian and gay as the day is long. At this point GF and female cop come back and GF looks mad. She points at Sugah's house and asks if thats where the call came from and outline everything that's basically in my last post. GF then goes, "show them the videos", so I hand over my phone with the ring app pulled up with the footage of Mr. Miles yanking our pride flag down and using slurs. The cops were looking at one another and then back at Sugah/Mr. Miles' house. Mystery solved, I'm thinking. I'm not good in tense situations so I just Crack "Sure you don't want a coffee?" And GF whacked my arm. We did the whole song and dance, sending files, getting their cards, filing a complaint for the damage of my property on Mr. Miles' part, and then my GF said she wants to pressed harassment charges too. The male cop snorted "based on what?" And the female cop took over. She said without solid and consistent proof, they can't press charges of that nature. We ask about hate crimes and they said taking down a pride flag isn't a hate crime, it's destruction of property. Suddenly I can hear the guy cop saying "Sir, stay inside" and who else could it have been but dear old Mr. Miles - look at this old rooster up this early! Fuck. The old sour raisin is yelling for them to ask about me throwing around my GF last night. Cops aren't even listening to him, just telling him to go inside and he keeps repeating that i was brutilizing her last night (Which the creepy bits aside about him knowing anything about last night, I want to take as one HELLUVA compliment). The cops yell for him to go inside or he will be in cuffs. He does and the female cop turns to me and I just blurted "If 'throwing around' is what we're calling sex now..." And my GF gave me a look like shut 👏 the FUCK 👏 up so I did. (It did get a laugh from the lady cop though). They told us to stay inside and we did but you better believe we minded everything but our business at that point. We watched through my study window as they went and spoke to Mr. Miles. There was a back and forth and I heard the cop say "turn around" and Mr. Miles was saying like "why are you hassling me, man? I didn't do nothing." So the cop got louder and said "Either turn around and I take you in or you go back in the house, sir." Mr. Miles was saying this ain't right but he went inside. The cops stayed on the porch for a few minutes more. Then they departed. Happy Monday. Relevant Comments Commenter: Wow. If you can afford it, I suggest consulting an attorney. Give them all the info and evidence of things to date, so they’ll be ready to help if this escalates. for example if you end up needing a restraining order or want to pursue that harassment charge that the cops didn’t want to deal with.   Update #2: August 31, 2024 This is slowly just becoming my little hobby of sharing what Mr. Miles and his family have been doing. After the police incident it was pretty quiet this week. Dinah, my GF, and I also have just been living quietly in general hoping the storm passed over. I can be such a damn fool sometimes. I thought it was all going to be fine. We have cameras, lights, Dinah made a (rainbow - cuz of course) no trespassing sign. She got mini pride flags and staked them in the front garden. Did I mention she gardens? She's literally a dream girl. Mr. Miles sort of went back to normal. He smoked his nightly cigars, washed his car, all the usual shit. Enter the HOA. I live in a community that, how can I say this? It's not the hood, but it ain't fancy. Lots of the people here are people of color and generational owners meaning their grandparents or great grandparents bought the house way back in the day and the owners inherited it. Nobody minds their business, but we let each other be as far as how we use the lawns and shit like that. It's very much a "stay in yo lane" situation. Guy shows up at the door. I'm not home, but Dinah is so this is what she described happened but I admit I "Zennia'd" some details for that extra oomf - Dinah has coined that phrase as according to her I allegedly add a flair to retellings. She opens the door with the chain on and this pleasant looking man is smiling at her so she assumes he is a salesman. She just asks if our no soliciting sign is there and is about to close the door at that but he said he's not selling anything, he's an officer with the HOA. Dinah hears the word officer and is cussing in every tongue she knows internally and just asks what he wants. He hands her a notice. Apparently we are in some sort of violation. Dinah's no pushover so she's rather unimpressed at this point and he is trying to explain "we noticed some violations-" and she asks point blank if what he's about to say is in the papers he gave her. He says yes, and she looks it over again. Hmmm...our rainbow shit? A violation. Oh no it's 7. 7 violations all related to our rainbow shit. Now Dinah's got a main suspect in who is behind all this and she is laughing in this man's face. He says he really doesn't want to fine us since they prefer to laid back. But this is causing complaints. So I get home and she's out back painting...nothing off about that. She likes creative DIY stuff so I just let her know I'm home and there's a box. I assumed it was for her because she freaking LOVES Amazon. She comes in and shows me what she's working on. Rocks, signs, a set of garden pots you name it, she has rainbowed it and I just sigh and go "What did that man do now?" And she tells me about HOA. I was like "we have an HOA?" And she hands me the papers. I called the number and the voicemail prompt checks out that it is an HOA. I've been the owner of the house for over a year. So its news to me. But I'm also first-time homeowner and I've been wrong before. I had and have a million questions. Like dont we get billed for it or something if we're part of HOA housing?? Then I noted that all the issues they are threatening to fine are accompanied by grainy photos of said items and they are all our rainbow stuff. I realize that Dinah is two steps off scorched earth (it takes a lot to get her there but baby look OUT when she arrives at that destination) the sign being that she is about to rainbow the whole damn house. I asked her her intentions and she just shrugs and says "Oh I thought they didn't get the asthetic so I'm helping complete your vision" (HOW IS THIS MY FAULT NOW!???? lol) and I'm like oooooh sweet baby Jesus, I don't have the financials to say fuck you if they fine me to oblivion. We had something of a tiff about it (a tiff is a small little argument, but "argument" makes it sounds far more dire than it is) as she was camped in "F them especially" territory and I'm thinking of the possible consequences. I finally calm her down and she's starting to see my side of it. Guys, I fought the good fight, I really did, she was coming around, I was so close. So close to squashing this issue, calling it a night, play video games with my boo and go back to normal. BUT FUCKING NO because the goddamn box. The box wasn't addressed. It was just a box with a note that said it's a gift. They were flags. Not pride flags but like various sizes of the American flag. Dinah saw this and FLIPPED the fuck out. She's walking around the house cussing in more than one language. And I'm there in F my life mode knowing damn well we're a step closer to scorched earth. That was last night. She was still creating her DIY rainbow stuff when I went to bed. I'm not even going to try and sound like I want to attempt to think it's anyone else up to this bullsshittery for obvious reasons - gestures broadly - but also because Mr. Miles smoked his nightly cigar and I don't know what he said to Dinah, who happened to be out there (yeah right, Baby, since when do you even like sitting outside at night...ALONE) and she is swearing up and down he all but admitted it BUT EVEN IF HE HADN'T she checked our camera and Mr. Miles's son seems to be taking photos of our home from the sidewalk. So now we know at least Paul has something to do with this too. Dinah's not back from work yet, and I WFH so I'm basically just waiting for the other show to drop because now my GF has gone full gollum and God help anyone who tries to stop whatever it is she is thinking about doing. It's like trying to stick your foot out to stop a bullet train. Not gonna happen and damn painful. I'll update when the other shoe drops. PS: Our complaint to the police after my last update is still being "investigated" and not to be any sort of way but I don't expect much from it. Fingers crossed though. Pray for me y'all. PPS: Also sorry for all the cussing. This has put us both in a STATE and I have a pretty foul mouth. Edit: Just called my mom because she generally knows all lol she said that while she isn't 100% about the now as it's hard to recall so randomly while she's working, she knows for a fact there wasn't one when Pop owned the house. I'm going through the paperwork now because I can't let his go. Relevant Comments OOP should had the documents regarding this suspecting HOA OOP: I don't remember any mention of it, but also at the time I was not in the best state mentally for various reasons, including the death of my grandfather - which is why I inherited the house. I do remember a LOT of paperwork, that said. I will ask my mom if she recalls anything as she was there helping me. + I'll have to go through them. The phone number checked out because the voicemail prompt sounded legit, but the email is a generic one (think like yahoo or something). I can't even wrap my brain around how he would even be able to fake this, but after all the shit happening thus far, I am not far off believing it possible.   Update #3: September 1, 2024 This shit is going to make me into some gossip columnist or something because what I am about to share is fucking WILD. HOUSECLEANING FIRST since my last post had so much going on. The police, after many calls from my GF Dinah, have basically said that our case doesn't constitute harassment and there is no evidence of anything more (ummm video??) but only destruction of property. They said its largely a civil matter and thus should be handled I'm civil court rather than criminal. Best beleive Dinah is not about to let this go. As for the HOA. We. Dont. Have. One. And by "we," I mean my street. Miles lives on the corner house, so he's on a technically different street. We checked and double-checked, and Dinah helped me sort through some paperwork for good measure. Nope. My street never had one and never signed on for one. Dinah was DELIGHTED by this. I mean, that hot hellion put all her rainbow projects out and then started talking about rainbowing the HOUSE. Like, the whole damn house. She wants to make it a project and for all to call our queer pals together and rainbow paint the exterior, including the garage doors and driveway lol. I...said we should start small, and we agreed that she can paint our front and back porches first and she found cute lights to shine on the house that can project rainbows so we have to check with our other neighbors but I said if they are fine with it, fine, hun. And now ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary monarchs and all, I present to you, the fuckery. Mr. Miles saw me washing my Love's car for her. It was just a thing I wanted to do for her. Not a normal thing I do at all. But she's been stressed, so I was going for the "hot girl washing cars" thing in part to be cute and silly and was in swimwear. She was calling to me from the upstairs window, whistling and stuff. I laughed. My other neighbors laughed. Mr. Miles came out with a mug of whatever the fuck evil drinks (blood of the innocent? Puppy broth? Who knows. Maybe just shitty coffee) and was glaring at us, scoffing when she would come out on our porch with her tea to "enjoy the show" - let me be clear, we were not being lewd or anything. She was saying shit like "What are your rates? My car has never been so beautiful. I'll pay you double" it's cheesy shit couples around here say all the time. Maybe the worst thing she said that maybe was less for public consumption was admittably my favorite thing: "Hey good looking, what am I cookin? I WILL MAME IT HOT for you" implying she will make dinner. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but Dinah is the BEST cook but generally doesn't take that on regularly, so her offering was heaven for me. Mr. Miles would ahem loudly, shake his head, do that indignant laugh older folks do, everything so we knew he disapproved and was in the audience. So we ignored him. And I definitely didn't defiantly stay out longer, flirting with my woman to piss him off...solely. Anyway, Mr. Miles was too much of a coward, so sent Paul again. I was done with the car and Dinah made me a cool cocktail (where we live outdoor shit in the summer is done nice and early before the sun gets too high, so it was hotter than Satan's ass out) and we sat near the fan enjoying just chatting. Mr. Miles had long gone inside anyway, and this is our home. Fuck him. We're going to enjoy it. Paul waved as he walked towards us and Dinah said her favorite curses under her breath. He made some small talk with us but Dinah was frosty with him, so I did most of the answers but even I was short. But this is the South, so politeness is a bitch. Hard to explain. He said he was concerned about our cameras because it looks like they cover the yards of others and there are kids here and "you know what that can look like". I will blame the cocktail but I was feeling like fucking with him, so I acting dumb. "What will it look like?" And he was all "you know what I mean" and I was like "nah what do you mean, Mr. Paul?" And that went on for a bit and he just stared at me and did a condescending chuckle and shook his head "well we'll see about what everyone thinks- just trying to be helpful given.." And he gestures at nothing in particular. I smile as sweet as pie and thank him for coming by but the cameras don't seem to bother anyone but I wil ask around. He told me to do that and walked off. We had been putting it off but this spurred Dinah to look into Mr. HOA. He's legit. An officer of the HOA on the street the other end of Mr. Miles's/Sugah's house. But Sugah has been in the hospital for surgery and won't be back for at least a few days. She has a daughter I keep tabs with who has been in town to help care for her. When I talked to my own mother, she sounded annoyed about the situation as a whole and ask if I would mind if she herself had a discussion with Miles. She grew up with him so I said that was up to her. She said "Great!" In that way that I knew she would be calling him. This morning, Daniel, the other son, caught me as I brought out the trashcans. I was surprised because he doesn't live there, so I don't often see him. Small talk blah blah blah, and then he gets close and says that he's sorry about the whole thing with his dad, but I should be warned that he got into quite mood after talking with my parents (I assume mom) and to tread lightly. I thanked him and went back in to tell Dinah. Dinah was in the nook (like a half room bay window situation where Pop used to smoke) and she had gift stuff out like gift bags and ribbon. I was trying to figure if I had forgotten a birthday or something and she just giggled and told me to come here. Rainbow flags. A lot of mini ones. Stuffed in a bright gift bag. I just looked at her like "Baby nooooooo" and she just shrugged saying she was the newbie here and wanted to be a good neihbor. To her credit there are more than one gift bags and she is dropping them off as I write to every house on the street but I know my GF. This is an F you too to Miles. She said to ask my internet friends (you and a Facebook group I've been sharing this with) for ideas of how to "spruce up the place" now that we know there are no HOA restrictions while she's out. So this is an update and also a plea, for the love of God please don't give her too many crazy ideas. Give us some fun ones - I am all for painting rocks and patios and shit, but I still gotta live here ya know? Anways, have a good long weekend if you're in the states. I still have a BBQ to plan. Edit: I just spoke to my mother video chat. Mom and Dinah have now sync'd energies. Help. Me. Mom said she talked to Daddy and they are wanting to pay for at least 2,000 USD to "spruce up the place" - Dinah is over the moon, has taken the device and is still talking with Mom now. God help us all lol   Update #4: September 7, 2024 Well the Mr. Miles saga continues so to pick up from my last post, the BBQ happened. It was fun. Had my parents and chosen family over (open invite to my community so some neighbors too) and Dinah's twin even came and by twin I mean they're not actually twins (image THAT much hotness doubled. Lawd.) But siblings born on the same day a few years apart. For this I will call him David (M30s...? Idk I never remember). David is also as gay as the day is long and has heard of all the shit Mr. Miles has been putting on. Actually ever single person at the BBQ knew. It was a topic I couldn't escape. Dinah was serving vodka mixed drinks and you can image what 3 queerdos can come up with after a few dranks. David loudly announced "PAINTING PARTYYYYYY" as Dinah went and found every bit of paint we own. Before I could even work through my vodka-indused brain fog, people were painting...EVERYTHING. the porch, my chairs, damn near every rock around my trees and all the raised garden beds. Now my backyard looks like a gay unicorn had projectile diaherea and shat rainbows. I like it. We played Lily Allen "Fuck You" and other gay ass songs, sang along, there are rainbow flags inside and outside my home at every window, in the garden, between my pumpkins (THEY PAINTED HALF MY PUMPKINS) - this is not a euphemism, both cars have those mini flags that stay when you close the window. It was insanity. Aaaaand the police arrived. They got a call about a disturbance from a neighbor and we all knew damn well which (my whole street of neighborswere literally right there except him). A quick aside here but it's not illegal to play loud music during thr day here. Just after like 8 or 9 or something. So no laws were being broken. The cops even admitted that. But they suggested we "just keep it down" - we thanked them, and didn't. It was a fun evening. My mom waited until everyone else left and she and Daddy were drinking my best wine, just LOVING this chaos, singing Dinah's praises, gushing over how she's designed the interior of this old house (she did really well I have to admit). It's updated in here and just brighter and fresher. There was a knock on the door and Mom got it. Mr. Miles stepped in with Paul and Daniel in tow. My southern-politeness brain shit the bed, so I audibly groaned at the sight of him. Dinah came back from the kitchen, saw him, crossed through the whole ass room and planted a kiss right on my lips as she handed me a fresh drink and sat right on my lap like a housewife. Mr. Miles asked for a drink. Dinah told him everything is out and in the kitchen basically to say "fuck you get your own" in Nice. His sons went to make him a drink and I politely asked what he needed. He said he wanted to have a take with me, alone. Mom said "And what do you need with my daughter, Miles?" And he said that that was between him and me. I said I was drunk and tired so it will have to wait until morning. He had his drink, made some passive aggressive comments, wished us a good evening, and said he will come by later. Mom walked him out. He did. The very next day. And sure enough I was alone. Sugah isn't doing well. She's not responding to treatment. They're planning for the worst. I was devestated to hear this. She's like our neighborhood mom. I've known her all my life - she's practically family. So I started to cry. He was being so nice to me, handing me a napkin, speaking to me softly, rubbing my back and telling me to let it all out. So I did. And then right when I was able to catch my breath and calm down he said he wanted to tell me in person. I told him that was appreciated and I was so sorry for his family. He said "I know. Thanks. Thats another reason I wanted us to chat like adults. I know that woman you live with doesn't like me much." And I laughed without meaning to. Not like him? She would piss on his grave and stomp the dirt down to the tune of "hit the road jack" should the chance arrive. And if she weren't fit for prison, she'd give herself that chance with her own bare hands. Mr. Miles is still being nice and says that he knows I am the reasonable one. And that we had our fun but this tantrum of ours needs to end. Sugah will be coming home to live out her time and he doesn't want her to see our "mess" of a yard. He said it would upset her and he knows I don't want to ever upset her. I will be honest, I was so in my feelings over the news that he almost sounded reasonable to me. Then he offered to have Paul come over snd "help me" make my home presentable again and my brain kicked back in. I stared at this man, who just used the worst possible news a child could share about a parent as a tactic, and the spirit of Dinah came upon me. I very coldly told him to leave, as I have decorating to do. I think he thought I meant to tear everything down, because he left without a fuss. I told Dinah the moment she got home. At this point, her patience was up. She stormed out of the house and for a moment I was like "oh God honey don't do it, I don't even know where the jail is." And she came back in with bags. She had been shopping apparently and THIS PART IS ENTIRELY YALLS FAULT. She found SO MANY items. INCLUDING colorful windchimes. She just held up a few things and asked me to help her unload the rest and I was like "REST!?" So we spent the whole night decorating the front porch. I will fucking marry this crazy ass woman lol This past Wednesday, Sugah got home. I rushed out to hug her and she hugged me back. It was one of those "mama" hugs that make you want to laugh and cry and let everything out. She held my hand tight and looked at our porch. Then she laughed and said "Damn girl, you really leaned in huh?" Then said something was missing. I asked her what and she said my flag. The big one I had in the front. I told her what Miles did to it and a storm went over her whole face. She got quiet and asked me to explain I said she should rest and it's a long story. She turned to tell her daughter (who drove her) to make some lemonade and that she was going to sit with me on my porch a while. So I told her everything basically in all my posts including Miles' recent visit. She kept her expression steely the whole time. She asked a lot of questions. Then asked me if she ever told me about her first love. I thought she meant Mr. Richard, Miles' late father, and she laughed. She told me a story about how when she was young, before Richard ever asked her out, there was a woman her age who always dressed in suits, which for the time was not considered okay or normal. People hated her but Sugah fell for her almost instantly. She said Dinah reminds her of her and that I seem really happy now that Dinah has moved in. Then she looked at me so serious and said "So are you?" And I went inside to show her the ring I had long bought and that I am going to marry that woman if she'll have me. She smiled and patted my cheek, kissed my hand and went home. Yesterday my Daddy called and said "Heya what's this about a wedding?" And I was like what? And he said that he's not supposed to be telling me this so don't tell Mom but she and Sugah had a long phone call and Sugah wanted to pay for my wedding. Not some of it. The whole damn thing. This is already long sorry, I swear I am skipping a lot here but I was obviously floored. There's paperwork involved and mom is working with Sugah on it and Daddy said "Well, I guess you gotta ask that woman to marry you." And I said I intended to. So I am writing this antsy as fuck, ring in pocket, dressed up, waiting for Dinah to come home from the salon so we can have date night. Mr. Miles is about to have a complete caniption. Wish me luck. Edit/update: Hey guys- so I'm sad to say she said no. It was a lot to- I'm fucking with you. She said yes! Y'all I am going to marry the most amazing, smart, strong, hilarious, crazy, loving, beautiful woman in this GODDAMN world and I cannot fucking stand to keep it to myself!!! We had such an incredible time. She came home and was already dressed, so we went out. It was my turn to plan date night, so I was at an advantage. I took her to a place that was like the restaurant pur first date was in (sadly, the original is no more) and we shared stories about that date (I was nervous and word vomited like an overfed baby - she found me charming), we then retraced a walk we had when I first told her I loved her. She had claimed up at it and skirted saying it back, but now she tells me every fucking day multiple times a day even when she's pissed at me. We then ended at our city aquarium - hey quick trivia, I was once a "professional mermiad" there. You read that right. Chloe eat your heart out) - where she "stalked me" just to ask if we are real (not just a fun summer fling) and to go steady. I took her to our favorite bar for karaoke, got down on my knee, and she stared at me and just went "shut the FUCK up are you proposing to me?" And before I even knew it, she pulled out a ring and we just laughed and kissed. We wanted to update you the good news. I'm up to sing "At Last" for karaoke so gotta be on my toes to serenade my fiance. Fuck me you guys I just said fiance. I have a fucking fiance. Me! With her! I'm so fucking dumb happy right now. Sorry. Rambling. Love you all so much. I love everything right now.   EDITOR'S NOTE: It has been brought to my attention regarding this BoRU not formatting correctly with the missing letters at each paragraph. I have cleared the possible issue with the moderators of the sub. Many of you might be dealing with glitches. I posted this from desktop and wasn't missing anything. My apologies to all. Thank you.   Latest Update here: BoRU #2   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

(All names are fake.) This began as a dark, intrusive thought that I could never shake off, and over the years it has bloomed into a poison flower that infects my entire psyche. I’m a forty-two year old woman. My husband “Luke” is 43, and so is “Amy.” I met Luke in college, but he’s known Amy since they were about 7. They did everything together and understood each other implicitly. They were best friends. They’ve always insisted that they are surrogate siblings to each other. Naturally I, as a new girlfriend, felt a little threatened by Amy and her closeness to Luke, but they both reassured me I had nothing to worry about. That their bond was not romantic and had never been sexual. That Amy really was just the sister that Luke never had. I believed them, and it didn’t take long for me to forget any and all insecurity I had about Amy. She became my friend too. She officiated our wedding. Luke and I have built a wonderful life together and we always had a strong relationship. After we got married and moved in together, we still saw a lot of Amy, and I was fine with that. I’ve passed many a night on the town trying to help Amy find a man, as she has always lamented how she is unlucky in love. Luke and I started to have children after we were married, and, at around the same point, so did Amy. For further context, my children are Sophie, (15) Owen, (12) Louise, (10) and Carter (6) Amy’s children are Tom, (17) Kaylee, (14) and twins, Adam and Jenna, (9) Now, Amy was not in a relationship at this point. She was not married. As far as I knew, she was “dating” but not consistently. As Luke and I had more kids and our family grew, periodically Amy would find herself pregnant as well. It happened a few times, and Luke and I never knew anything about the father(s) in question. I kind of assumed that maybe Amy was sleeping around and not keeping in contact with her one-night stands. Luke agreed this was probably the answer. While I did ask each time if Amy knew the paternity, she always said no, and she didn't seem that worried about the idea of raising kids on her own, so I didn’t pester her. Of course, she had us to support her, so there was that. While Amy never asked for any help, of course Luke was never going to let his best friend struggle to stay afloat when she had children to raise. Financially, we are very fortunate and privileged. I have a job that pays handsomely and Luke also had wealthy parents who already knew and loved Amy, so they were happy to provide for her. (My in-laws defy all stereotypes, they are the kindest and gentlest people.) So we were able to support Amy. To get her somewhere to stay with her kids. People might be tempted to call her a leech, but I never saw it that way. None of us did. She needed help and we could provide it. I also know people are going to criticize her for her lack of responsibility and question why she never used more reliable birth control. Honestly? That is a long story that I don’t want to get into because even I don’t fully understand her reasoning, but it was quite important to her that she never be on birth control and that whatever came of that choice, she would accept. It wasn’t religiously motivated, I know that, but it was that degree of significance to Amy. She really did not want to take birth control. She’s explained it to me more than once but I’m still not clear on why. Of course, Amy being Luke’s best friend since they were kids, it’s not unreasonable that sometimes they hang out together while I’m not there. Hey, that’s fine. Sometimes I hang out with Amy one-on-one as well, though Luke does it more. She was his friend first. This included him going over to where she was staying and at times, sleeping over there. Was I a fool to trust him and believe nothing was going on? Perhaps. But for years, they presented as being “buddies.” Like siblings. I didn’t pick up on any vibes between them, not ever. As one can expect, our children were brought up together. Not in the same house, (our home is decently sized but even we don’t have the room for eight kids.) But we made sure Amy’s children met ours from a young age, and they always got along and strong bonds of friendship have formed over the years, which is good. Especially if I’m right, and they share blood. I’ve been dawdling getting to the main point. Yes. I have come to suspect that Luke fathered at least one of Amy’s kids, if not all of them. Frankly, I do suspect they are all his. I would never have believed my husband to be capable of such a thing, and he’s given me no indication that he is the unfaithful sort. But he does spend a lot of time with Amy, and I have to confess I cannot remember seeing her with any real boyfriend over the years. She would talk to men at bars and parties, I would try to be her wing-man, and so on. But nothing ever seemed to really happen, so when she got pregnant the first time, I was curious. When it happened again, and again, I began to wonder if she had some sort of secret fella who she didn't want us to know about for whatever reason. But I couldn’t think of any reason why she would hide him, especially from her children. After Carter, our youngest, was born, Luke and I agreed that the time had come for him to have a vasectomy. Amy’s twins had come just a couple of years prior. Of course, after the procedure, Luke and I continued to make love but I no longer had to think about pregnancy. Meanwhile, Amy never got pregnant again, after the twins. Is it a coincidence that Luke had a vasectomy and then both of us stopped getting pregnant? I don’t know. But Luke would still visit her, and he wasn’t just going to see her, but checking up on her children as well. In general, I should have paid more attention to it sooner, but Luke has always acted like a father to them, especially as they’ve gotten older. He’s the father they never had. He doesn’t neglect me, or our children, not one bit. He’s doing double duty. On its own, the idea that he is a surrogate father to Amy’s fatherless children isn’t inherently suspicious. One could call it noble. But it combines with a lot of other little things. There is appearance as well. I won’t go into specifics of hair color, eye color, or unique physical traits, because I’d rather limit the identifying factors of the people involved and keep this whole thing as vague as possible. But suffice it to say, Amy’s children…they certainly look like they could be Luke’s. Kaylee has a very unusual allergy that Luke also has. The twins look very much like him - Adam in particular. The older Tom has gotten, the more of Luke I can see in his face and personality. While their race doesn’t matter, the reality is that Luke is a different race than Amy, and Amy’s children look pretty biracial. I could easily believe their father is the same race as Luke. Doesn’t mean Luke has to be the father, but…it sure seems like it. I have never voiced my anxieties to either Amy or Luke. I don’t want to be the “bad guy” and, guilty or innocent, I already know they would flatly deny my accusations and be hurt by them. Imagine if that drama reached the ears of my kids, or Amy’s kids? Either way, Luke continues to spend time with Amy and her children, just as her children spend time with mine. I have hinted to Luke that I feel needy for more attention and wish he wouldn’t give as much to Amy. But he either missed my cues or pretended that he missed them. I don’t want to push this idea that he’s favoring her, because it’s not even really true. He’s never neglected me for her. I just. I can’t shake the feeling that Luke and Amy have been intimate before, likely numerous times. So far as I know, Amy never really wanted to be a mother, either. She wasn’t opposed to it, and when each of her children came into the world she instantly fell in love with them, but motherhood was never really a major part of her life plan or identity. In the grand scheme of things, when we would talk about the future, she would sometimes mention a husband and children, but it never seemed like something she had her heart particularly set on. So like, I don’t think this is a case of Luke just “giving” Amy children, I doubt that was the motive for the infidelity. That would have been a side-effect. I’ve been letting this go and turning a blind eye for years. It was a dark thought in the back of my mind after Kaylee's allergy was discovered, but I dismissed it. Got worse after the twins were born. I dismissed it. Then, when Amy stopped having babies, I wanted to feel reassured by that. But, Luke had gotten a vasectomy, so if anything, that made my anxiety worse. There have been nights that I wished the twins were younger, that they had come along after Luke’s procedure. It’s been twisting me into knots for a long time, but I don’t want to be the one who rips our family apart especially since, technically, I could be wrong. Except now I’m very afraid, because in the last few months we’ve had a new development in our kids’ social circle. Tom, Amy’s eldest, asked Sophie out. Sophie, my eldest. She’s really blossomed over these last few years and become quite the outspoken beauty, so I’m not shocked to see she’s getting male attention, but Tom asking her out had me thrown. Sophie said no, but only because I’m quite protective when it comes to her exploring dating, and she knew she’d have to ask me first. I could tell she was flattered and intrigued by his interest and wanted to say yes. She approached me to talk to me about it, bless my girl, she did everything right. I think she expected I would see things her way and agree that she could date Tom. Much to her surprise, I very firmly said no. That caused a bit of conflict. She didn’t even want to date him that badly, she just couldn’t understand why she wasn’t allowed to. And I couldn’t explain it to her. All I could come up with was “He’s too old for you” which he is, but it’s not really about that. When Amy and Luke heard, I was so very curious to see what their reactions would be. If either of them had agreed with Sophie and tried to convince me that the two of them should be allowed to date, I think I would have been relieved and taken that as proof that I was wrong about something going on between them. Wrong about who fathered Amy’s children. But, the ambiguity continued. They took my side. Both of them put their foot down, though not as fiercely as I did. Luke agreed with me, but he also worried that trying to forbid such a romance would only make Sophie want it more. He’s probably right about that. Amy seemed more apathetic to the idea. She didn’t want Tom to date Sophie either, and she backed me up, but I don’t know, she just wasn’t taking it as seriously. She seemed to think it was a fleeting crush. Well, it wasn’t. In the months following those conversations, Tom would spend more and more time with Sophie. They would be alone (or with “other friends”) any time they possibly could. It’s become abundantly clear that Tom is crazy about Sophie and wants to be with her. (And he definitely wants to be physical, I’ve been watching them like a hawk and noticed his eye wandering many times.) And while I’m doing everything I can to kill this budding romance in the crib, I also am feeling somewhat powerless. Sophie hasn’t outwardly defied me, she’s still just hanging out with Tom “as friends.” So forcing them to stop spending time together would be unreasonable, and probably encourage more sneaking around. But I’m so afraid that they’re already doing that. My nightmare is that they’re secretly dating, and doing god knows what when no one is looking. (I’ve observed Tom being rather handsy with Sophie, and she presents no objection whatsoever.) And I just don’t know what to say. I had considered trying to convince Sophie that Tom is “like” her brother, but if she doesn’t see him that way, I don’t really have the power to rewrite their emotional dynamic or the history of their friendship. I always saw Amy and her children as being like family, but my kids might see Amy’s kids more as “best friends.” The problem is, of course, that if my husband has indeed been carrying on an affair over the years and I’m right about the paternity of Amy’s children, then Tom and Sophie cannot be anything more than friends under any circumstances, end of discussion. It can never happen. I feel powerless to stop it, though. Luke has apparently “talked” to Tom about this, as has Amy, but he is unrelenting and he won’t give up on Sophie. I think she enjoys that attention and devotion. Tom has also confronted me and asked why I’m so against this when I know him very well and I know he would be good to Sophie. I didn’t know what to say other than to fall back on her being too young for him. But that won’t work forever. If, god forbid, they’re still attracted to each other in a few years, then they’ll pursue this with abandon and once they’re legal adults, there’s nothing I can do about it. Amy and Luke agree with me that Tom cannot date Sophie, but that’s all they’ve really done. They feel just as powerless as me to prevent “teen love.” It genuinely feels sometimes like they’ve just given up and will bury their heads in the sand about this. Just do nothing and hope the feelings pass as Tom and Sophie get older. Which, yeah, they’re in high school. It’s unlikely Tom will be in love with Sophie forever. But my fear is that she’ll let him do something intimate with her before that time comes, something neither of them can take back. I am this close to opening a door I cannot close, this close to screaming at Luke that all this wouldn’t be happening if he hadn’t cheated on me these many years. If he hadn’t been all but raising a second family with his “surrogate sister” behind my back. Now Luke’s son wants to fuck our daughter, his ACTUAL sister, because as far as he knows, she’s just his childhood friend. And it’s all Luke and Amy’s fault for what they’ve done. If I speak up, everything gets blown to hell. On the off chance that I am wrong, I’m a horrible monster who accused the love of my life and one of my closest friends of doing something horrible. If I’m right, it still tears our entire structure apart. The family and social unit we’ve become over the last several years is gone, and everyone will be stressed and upset even if Luke and I don’t divorce. If I do nothing, Sophie’s eventually going to sleep with Tom and be his girlfriend. (And I’m low key terrified it will happen sooner than later, or worse, that it’s already happened under my nose.) I hope to hell this relationship fades as they mature, but what if it doesn’t? What if they wind up being together for years? What if they marry, want to get pregnant someday? And if I tell Sophie the truth about Amy’s kids, then everyone else finds out too, and that’s going to ruin so many lives. It would shatter my kids’ perception of their father, and their “Aunt Amy.” Luke is Owen’s hero. I don’t even want to think about how much this would hurt him. And what about Amy’s children? They are innocent. They didn’t ask for this, they don’t control where they came from, and I don’t want to hurt them. Admittedly I’m not happy with Tom at the moment. A week ago I saw him put his hand on Sophie’s butt and I wanted to knock his teeth out. But even he doesn’t deserve to be burdened by the knowledge that it’s his half sister he’s been fantasizing about. It’s all so fucked up and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been looking the other way and letting my husband and his “best friend” insult me for such a long time now. I thought I could live with it. But this business with Tom and Sophie has me distressed. submitted by /u/PsychFactor to r/offmychest [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TW: infidelity, stalking behaviour Original post: August 4th 2024 I know, I'm aware of my faults, I know I screwed up. She and I had something beautiful. She is still the love of my life, we were together for 10 years, 2 dating and 8 married, but I made a huge mistake and cheated on her, it was just once, just one damn time! Somehow she found out, I never knew how because I haven't been able to talk to her since then. I guess she found something on my phone. I came home that afternoon as usual and everything felt weird, the house felt emptier, I quickly realized that her things were gone. I panicked, I started calling her over and over, but her phone didn't even ring. Suddenly I saw some papers on the table, she was divorcing me… under the divorce papers, there was a note that said “This is what you do with cheaters.” That was the last thing I got from her, two years ago now. Of course I called the contact information for her lawyer, who has been the only bridge between us. But he just told me that he was her legal representative and that she didn't want to see me. I fought, I got angry, but in the end her lawyer just told me that it would be better if I got my own lawyer. I didn't want to, I absolutely refused to accept that 10 years of relationship would end like this! I know I have failed, but I always wanted to fix it. I know that if she gave me the chance, I could make that sweet and special girl I met more than 10 years ago fall in love with me again. I know that I can make her forgive me, after all, many couples go through similar things and get over it! Why can't we be one more couple in that statistic? Why after 8 years of marriage am I thrown away like garbage for a mistake? I don't deserve so much indifference. I haven't been able to see her or even hear her voice in two years. Two years of not being able to see or talk to the person you love the most is too much of a punishment! This situation has destroyed me emotionally, mentally and even physically. I ended up consuming an unhealthy amount of alcohol, weeks of barely eating, not sleeping, I was a zombie for months, I was just functioning on automatic. I wanted to die, but I couldn't let myself die because I always held onto hope that she would come back. My therapist says it's really hard when you can't get closure from a relationship because your mind can't process that the relationship is over, so you're always thinking that person will knock on the door or that you'll wake up from sleep and they'll be there by your side. The divorce was finalized over a year ago, I'll be honest, I didn't make it easy, I didn't want to get divorced and I still don't understand how we can be divorced. I asked for couples therapy, but she refused. I know from my lawyer that her lawyer advised her to go at least once or twice. But she refused. It took quite a while, but finally the divorce happened. I can't even describe the feeling, I felt and still feel, like if a piece of me had been cut out. I know I hurt her, I know I failed, but I think we all deserve a second chance. When I couldn't take the pain anymore, I decided to start therapy. My therapist doesn't give me advice to get her back, he only focuses on me moving on with my life encouraging me to meet new people and go out on dates, but I don't want to, at this point I'm not even interested in sex anymore. A few days ago something happened that completely shattered me. I was having a few beers with my friend at my house, let’s call him Nick, we were both pretty drunk. I started talking about my wife. And he said to me “You should put more effort into getting over her, she’s over you and is happy having a life away from you, you should do the same, you can’t live in this self-pity all your life.” Something in his words hit me, but not in the way he expected, he spoke with a lot of confidence that my wife is over me and is happy now, how does he know that?… at this point, I got angry and started pressuring him to talk, he refused, I pressed as hard as I could, I cried, I begged him to tell me if he knew something! I needed to know something about her! Until he finally told me… his wife has been in contact with my wife for the last year. They were great friends and I remember Sabrina (my friend's wife) being very sad about losing contact with my wife. The thing is that my wife went to live in Norway, got married to a guy there and is about 7 months pregnant. I felt like dying, I literally felt like dying with this information. How could she do this to me? How could it be that while I was crying, getting drunk, missing her and wanting to die every day, she was happily on the other side of the world, getting married, fucking and getting pregnant by another guy! How could it be that she didn't have a child with me in many many years, to the point that I thought she was infertile, but she got pregnant by this new guy so easily?? Where did this guy come from?? I have no answers for absolutely anything and I feel like I can't go on with my life without these answers! The only thing I can think of is that she had revenge sex with the first norwegian guy she came across and got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. Maybe she got married because she wanted to stay in that country legally and I guess like in most countries, getting married is a good option for that, I don't know, these thoughts are killing me! I refuse to think that she is in love with him! I need to contact her, I need to talk to her, I need to know what's going on, because she acts like our 10 year history and 8 year marriage is nothing to her! I need advice on how to act, I feel the impulse of travel to where she is and look for her, but how could I do that? I don't know what city she's in, I don't know where she lives, I don't have a number to contact her, she closed her social media, her family is small, they don't live in the same country as me and all of them blocked me. I'm totally lost. I don't know what to do at this point. I still want her back, yes even pregnant. I feel like if this is a nightmare and I need to wake up now! EDIT: I read almost all the comments and when I say almost all I really mean almost all. It's hard to process all the crap that's been said about me. I feel like you guys forget that you are talking to a person and not an inanimate object. I thought I might find more empathy by sharing my story here. Just two people feeling empathy towards me and their comment made me feel better. I'm not looking for validation or for anyone to say that what I did is okay. I know it's not and I have to live with that daily. I will try to respond but of course I'll never be able to respond all the comments over here. I guess none of you know what it's like to have a broken heart and not be able to get over a person. You don't decide who you love and you don't decide when you get over someone. It will happens when it have to. Those who doubt my story, unfortunately is real, I would love this to be fake but sadly it is not and I have to live with this mess everyday. Everyone assumes she's happy now. I don't know, I mean how do you know? I haven't seen her in two years, I can't have any idea if she's happier or not. Being pregnant it doesn't necessary means happiness and being married either, we don't really know the circumstances of this marriage. Maybe she got married because she got pregnant and felt alone in a country where she has no one and she just hold on to the other guy. Of course I blame myself for this!! This wouldn't have happened if I had been a better person and a better husband to her. But unfortunately I can't change what I did wrong. The only thing I could do is try to make it up to her, but how do you make it up to someone who doesn't want to give you the chance to do so?… some people said that she doesn't owe me a second chance. That was hard to read but I understand that maybe she doesn't have to. I never openly blamed her for the infertility issues. It was just a thought. We both went to the doctor and in both cases the tests revealed that everything was fine. I never understood why we couldn't conceive and the thought that she was infertile did cross my mind and of course the idea that I was too. But in most cases of infertility it is due to a female factor. Maybe that's why I thought that. Horrible things were said like I would hurt my ex wife if she were here. I never physically hurt her and I never will. I am not an abusive person. I am not a monster. I know it's hard to empathize with me. I know I screwed up. I know I hurt her way beyond what I can say. But I am not a monster or a narcissist. Some people said that I never loved her otherwise I wouldn't have cheated on her. This statement doesn't seem fair to me. You think you can kidnap the concept of love and tell another person what his real feelings are? You think you are inside my head or heart? Only then would you know what I feel. You can't tell me that I don't love her. There hasn't been a day since she left that I don't regret it. No one can tell me this isn't love. Lastly, humans are more complex than most people here think. Just because I cheated on her doesn't mean I don't love her or that I don't have feelings. I called what I did a mistake because how else would I call it? I thought part of accepting blame is accepting that was my mistake! But everyone here take those words as if I trying to twist the situation when that's not the case. You've completely twisted my words. I know how much I hurt her. Maybe in my post I'm focusing on myself because I was never able to explain myself to her. Since then for me it's been one attempt after another to put together a story in my head that doesn't make sense. I lost everything from one moment to the next. I simply tried to be open with my feelings but it doesn't seem to work here. Not for me at least. I know the damage I did to her, this woman left her life, the country she emigrated to, her friends, even her job. No one does that for a breakup unless you're going through some level of absolute pain. I understand that, I can see and feel the pain I put her through and that makes me feel even more guilty. Honestly, I'm going to respond to some comments below and then log off of Reddit for a couples days until I feel in a better place. Relevant comments: Commenter: I wanna know who you cheated on her with. That’s pretty important information OOP: It was a radon woman that used to go to the same gym. Nothing important. it didn't mean anything not even for a second! I just was being an idiot! Commenter: You don't seem to have any remorse for cheating, just mentioned she somehow found out-so you were not planning on telling her? It's been two years, you need to accept responsibility for your actions and let go, she's never coming back. There's billions of people out there, just heal and improve yourself with therapy and I'm sure you'll get a second chance with someone else, you're only 35 OOP: I do feel remorse for cheating! Im a big mess right now, but I do feel remorse... Commenter: You may still be in love she is not at least not with you OOP: So love just fade away? just like this? at the end of the day this sometimes makes me feel like if Im actually more loyal than her to our relathionship... meaning... she left, re merried, got pregnant, looks like if she completly forgot about me and Im here setting crying while I drink some wine and respond to some strangers on reddit about our relationship. I still love her, but for her was so easy ger over me. Commenter: If only half the people on Reddit had the self respect your ex wife has. OOP: I don't blame her, I understand the pain I caused her. But I also think there are many couples who go through this and move on, especially when it was just one time! I never had a side relationship for months, I didn't cheat on her with multiple women, I didn't get another woman pregnant, I didn't cheat on her with her friend! Cheating is wrong, but are you really going to put me on the same level as a guy who cheated on his wife for years or who cheated on his wife with her sister? It's not an excuse but Im asking for some coherency here. Update: Same post two days later: These days have been very strange at times I feel numb and at others desperate. A lot of things have happened. I want to start by answering something and then I will update. Some people asked why Norway? I don't know exactly but she is a polyglot, she speaks 6 languages...many of these languages ​​are connected to cultures that she always liked...norwegian is just one of them... she has always been interested in norwegian culture, she has been there before, but she is also interested in other cultures and speaks other languages so for me that was never an indicator that she might have gone to this country. Regarding the update, the first thing I will say is that the post reached some people in my circle. Sabrina's sister is on Reddit, she knows the story and realized it was me. She told Sabrina. Sabrina is angry at Nick for revealing information, Nick is angry at me for posting on Reddit and because he says I pressured him to talk. I am angry at both of them for being two a...holes who watched me suffer for two years and decided not to help me. They didn't care about my marriage, why should I care about their marriage? Sabrina could have given me my ex wife phone number a long time ago, but she decided to prioritize her friendship with my ex instead of helping two friends mend their marriage! Meanwhile, no one cared about my feelings! Im done with them at this point. Regarding to my ex-wife. I've been thinking a lot, she can't just desapare. I convinced myself that if I searched hard enough I could find something related to her. I follow some of her relatives from a fake Instagram account but I never found anything related to her. I searched a lot, really a lot and found a name that I had seen before but that hadn't caught my attention until then, it was a lady with a name that is not typical in the United States or my wife's country (she is not american) and a very strange last name. I went to her Instagram profile and she had no pictures or anything just a small profile picture that you can barely see. I decided to look her up on Facebook and found the same lady with the same profile picture. Only her Facebook profile is quite open, she is indeed a lady from Norway. I checked everything I could on this profile I was convinced that it had something to do with my wife. How else would a relative of hers have this woman in their friends? I saw a lot of pictures, people, plants, mountains, gardens, lakes, flowers, typical things that an older lady posts… until I came across a picture where my ex was dressed as a bride hugging a guy. I had to translate the text, the lady was congratulating her son on his wedding. There were a few more pictures, not many, there were even some members of my ex’s family in the wedding pictures. The dates of the pictures were from a year ago. A year ago she married this guy. I don’t understand, how could it happen so fast? When did she meet him? I honestly thought she got married after she got pregnant, not before, this baffles me even more. After that I found another picture, it was a group picture and she was far away but of course I recognized her. The same guy was with his hands on her shoulders, hugging her… this picture was from February 2023. To be clear she left in may 2022, how is she with someone in february 2023?? Only 9 months and she's already in a stable enough relationship that he's introduced her to his family?? What the hell is going on here? I feel like I have even more questions in my head now...I know I shouldn't be upset but I am. I know I lost her because I was an idiot but it's hard to get this feeling out of my head right now. Anyways for those who had imagined this fantasy that my ex is with some kind of norwegian Chris Hemsworth… let me tell you...it's not like that! This guy is too tall, too blonde, too pale, hair too long and kind of chunky to be honest. He looks more like the old cartoon of Vikings and is definitely not a Chris Hemsworth. I managed to find his fb profile but he has almost nothing there. His profile says he's an engineer. An engineer who wears metal band t-shirts at 38! I don't know how to take this because I'm an engineer myself just in a different field, why would she look for a man with the same profession as me? my wife has always liked heavy metal which I always found nasty but I never complained, after all your partner doesn't have to have the same musical tastes as you. I mention this because maybe that was the way they connected, she used to connect easily with people who liked the same type of music... I don't know but I honestly look at it and think where did she get this guy from? I meant he can definitely do better than this. The pregnancy thing still messes with my head I try not to think about it. I can't understand it. I'm not infertile like the comments suggest. I've been to the doctor and I know I'm not! But God, it kills me to think that she's going to have another man's child. I don't get it! I feel like this is beyond anything I ever imagined. And no, I'm not going to go to Norway. I'm not going to try to contact her. I still want to see her and talk to her. But I obviously can't force her to do that. I have too much to deal with right now and too much to talk about in therapy. If by any chance this post reaches my ex. I want you to know that I still love you. You know where to contact me. If by any chance this post reaches the new dude: I want you to know the only reason you have a chance with this woman is because a big idiot halfway across the world completely ruined it...you most probably met a woman who was probably very broken from her divorce, you took advantage of her situation and trapped her with a baby. You don't know how to play fair! Sabrina and Nick: F...YOU! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Koenigin_der_Puppen to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

my husband started a job a few months ago. its a night shift job, and they sometimes stay long enough to interact with the opening staff. this morning he was in the break room for a quick drink before finishing up for the day. the coworker asked if he was married as she noticed his wedding band, and followed it up by asking how old he was, commenting that he looked too young to be married. he told her that he was 24, and that we have been happily married for 5 years. she said “so you were 19 when you got married?” and my husband responded “yes, i was 19, almost 20, and my spouse had just turned 20.” she said “so you were groomed.” he said “… no? we were both over 18 when we got married, and its a 5 month age gap. we were both definitely adults.” she said “thats exactly what someone who was groomed would claim.” she kept pushing at it, saying the small age gap and 18+ facts didnt matter, and that it was disgusting that a 20 year old would marry “a teenager.” he pushed back as well, saying that it definitely wasnt grooming. she was incredibly insistent and was making snide remarks about me. here’s the comment she reported him for: “even if it was grooming- which it wasnt- i would do it all over again the same way because its worked out great so far.” after the conversation ended and my husband got back to work, she approached him informed him that she had called hr to report him. he said “sounds good, ill be giving them a call myself because your behavior was inappropriate.” she ignored him and stomped off. after he got off work, he called to report her as well. hr thanked him for calling before they had to call him. apparently she told them exactly what happened, and they were really confused as to why she was coming out of this thinking she was the wronged party. he apologized for making the comment and told them he knew it wasnt work appropriate, but that he was beginning to get angry about the way she was talking about his spouse, and responded without thinking. the hr rep said he understood, and that it was an inappropriate response, but it wasnt anything worth being punished over. they did, however, ask him if he wanted to follow through on a complaint against her, because her commenting that aggressively about me and accusing both me and him of really serious things was behavior that was punishable. he told them he would. we both find this super baffling, mostly because we both come from a small town in a deep southern state, where young marriages are very common. we’re currently in a larger city in a western state, and while we’ve gotten comments or questions on our young marriage, nobody has ever mentioned anything about grooming over a 5 month age gap. edit: gonna do the usual “omg i had no clue this was gonna blow up, i fell asleep and woke up to a bunch of attention” thanks for all the replies! i knew she was crazy but it feels good to have it validated lol. i’ll address some of the comments i’ve seen: 1.) my husband told me that she had mentioned during the conversation that she was 20. 2.) hr told my husband that they were really confused when she called because they had no clue where she was going with the conversation. 3.) the only thing that was “inappropriate” regarding his comment was implying that he would get groomed voluntarily or something along those lines. 4.) i hadn’t considered that she may have been attracted to him. he’s very handsome, and i like to tease him when people flirt with him or give him googly eyes because he genuinely has no clue and doesn’t care if others find him attractive. im nonbinary, and he genuinely hasn’t ever had any interest in anyone else romantically, so he says he “identifies as married” in terms of his sexuality lmao. 5.) a few comments have said this is fake/reposted/copypasta. idk what to tell you man. my husband came home, told me about it, and i posted it on here to see if you all thought she was as crazy as we did. idk what proof you need but to be frank i don’t care about imaginary internet points enough to waste my time lying to get them also, thanks for not talking down on us for getting married young!! we have had a lot of sideways comments over the years and it’s like a breath of fresh air to see everyone being so kind. my husband and i first met at 17 and 16, we worked together at our first jobs at a crappy fast food restaurant. we were very committed from the start. he’s been an amazing husband. his work has a convenience store in the same building, and the workers at the store recognize him as “the guy who buys his spouse flowers all the time.” every time the last bouquet wilts, he brings me home another. hr mentioned that they were going to pull the camera footage and look over it to see if there was anything else about the interaction that needed to be addressed, so i’ll update if anything noteworthy comes out of the report. i doubt it’ll be much more than a passing thing. as i said, my husband’s shift doesn’t overlap with day crew by much so he usually doesn’t interact with them, so it’s unlikely he’ll have a problem with her again. edit 2: damn yall. more clarification he does not work an office job. i’m trying to keep what kind of job he has vague for privacy reasons. hr report was a phone call because they do not have hr in the building. i don’t have autocapitalization turned on in my phone settings because i have autism, and im constantly worried about sounding too rude. capitalizing words while doing informal writing feels like i’m being harsh or angry. that’s also why it’s so long, i can’t tell how much information is too much and have problems being concise. i have all the details about what happened because when my husband tells me things, i listen and ask questions. yes this was really something that happened. yes, people really are this stupid sometimes. no i didn’t make it up. yes this probably sounds like another post out there because there are billions of people on earth and i doubt anybody has any truly unique experiences anymore. i posted this offhandedly and thought it would get like 3 comments. i mainly wanted to see if there was an explanation to her behavior that we weren’t thinking of. —- update aug. 9th: i figured id give a bit of an update since people were asking for one. in short, it never became an issue. hr never said anything else about it, and neither did his coworkers. my husband never encountered her at work again. now that the date of our move back home has gotten a lot closer, my husband put in his 2 weeks notice and has since quit the job entirely. we also lost one of our cats right after i made this post, so we both immediately forgot the entire thing ever happened. i got very stressed as a result of posting this. majority of comments were nice, but the few rude ones calling me a liar or being rude about my typing habits or the length of the post got to my head. i turned comment notifs off a few days after posting. my husband thinks i never should have posted here at all because he says he figured that that would happen. he’s not a redditor but he knows that people suck and i’m rather sensitive. i think if i made another post that got as popular as this one, id delete my account and just start over. please be kinder people. submitted by /u/AmoGra to r/mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments]

I will be as clear as possible. If you have any questions please use an info, also on phone. My sons and DILs wedding is at the end of the June. Originally they were tight on money and were upset over the price of flowers. It wasn’t in their budget and they had a very specific image. I looked at prices for what they wanted and it was out of my own budget. I instead offered to do what they wanted with fake flowers. They agreed and sent over images for me to use. I have spent over 500 buying all the stuff and my own time. They turned out great in my opinion. I got a call about two week ago, that they won’t need them anymore and that they have the money to have real flowers. That they already booked it. So in short all my time was for nothing. My daughter was over and commented how cute the flowers were. She asked if I could make her some for her baby shower. I explained what happened and told her she can have them. Her baby shower was over the weekend and she used the flowers on the tables. It was a nice event. After my son and DIL came up and we got into an arguement. They think I am a jerk for using their flowers for someone else’s event and now everyone will think they copied my daughter for their wedding. My point was I can give them away to whoever and I don’t think it is a big deal since they were used. That instead of me throwing them out, someone got to use them. AITA? submitted by /u/Ok_Magazine_5564 to r/AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Exact_Butterscotch40 Me and my brother will never be the same because of a fake wedding. Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes & r/weddingshaming TRIGGER WARNING: Public humiliation, family upheaval and possible financial abuse, mentions of sexual assault of a child(mentioned in a tiktok video), grief, neglect MOOD SPOILER: OOP handles everything and looks after her own mental wellbeing Previous BoRU THE CAST OF CHARACTERS u/Exact_Butterscotch40 - OOP, who was publicly humiliated by her brother, New BIL and the wedding party u/Objective_Coat_5948 - OOP's BIL who made an account to respond u/slaphappypap - A wedding guest and friend/former employee of the BIL appeared All posts and replies are in chronological order ORIGINAL POST Original Post - deleted OOP crossposted to wedding shammimg - since deleted July 17, 2023 https://imgur.com/a/acrWWlI Me (30,f) and my brother (31, m) have always been as close as twins. Our closeness is a foundation in our family. One of the true consistent relationships- (obviously not in a weird way) when we fight (which is never or small fights) the whole family feels it and tries to fix it because of how unnatural it feels for everyone. He gave me away at my wedding. I named a child after him. We have matching tattoos. We talk on the phone almost everyday. He started planning his wedding. He asked me to be a groomsmen - while his friend (35ish, f) would be is best man. Everyone thought this was odd because of his role at my wedding - and none of us really know/ have met his friend. I expressed how it hurt my feelings and was met with “my wedding isn’t about you” ok. Fine. I’ll do what you ask. During the planning he called me everyday. We sent ideas. I helped with making stuff. I didn’t mind. I decided early on to not focus on titles but just to make this day as amazing as possible for my brother. He asked me to be “flower fairy” because this was a gay- child free wedding. I agreed. During the process of dress / shoe picking him and the “best man” would shoot down all of my ideas. She would send very basic heels that were around 100$ - heck no. I told her my budget was 45$ for shoes. Especially for plain gold heels. The wedding party all had very mean girl mentality. I felt it from day one. There was the wedding party .. and then me. I chalked this up to not really knowing them well and proximity (all of them live in a different state than me) they even went as fair as saying the shoes I like were “to slutty” (they were the type of small heels that place up around your calf or around your ankle) After this I begged to come as a guest. So I could wear what I want and not feel this weird mean girl mod mentality from the rest of the wedding group. My brother says no way, I can’t get married without you being by my side, I get to the state the wedding will be and the first day I’m there I find out best man had the bachelor party the night before I got there everyone from the wedding party was included aside for me. I let it go and focus on the wedding and doing my part. So, I slap on some wings dance my way down the isle and give my fairy first wedding speech. All goes well. The wedding was awesome until- the drag show. Yes, they had a drag show at their wedding. During the show one of the queens comes on and basically announces that this was all fake because my brother and his partner had gotten married one year prior. I turn to the rest of the wedding party and ask did they know ? They did. They were at the “real wedding”. Everyone but me. I’m sitting there trying to process and my mom (who gave them 3k for the wedding because they needed it) storms up to ask if I knew. I told her no- and she immediately switched to being supportive to me because of how bad the situation was. It’s not about them already being married. They can do what they want. I myself spend over 4k on this wedding. Because I was coming from out of state I had to get a plane ticket. I paid for a week at an Airbnb (one night most of the wedding party stayed at the house I rented because they didn’t have anywhere else to stay, and did not even offered to pay for any of it) . The dress for the wedding. The fairy wings I hand made. All of it. I spent to much time and money on this wedding. But then I start to remember all of the lies. They got married… and three days after my brother was at my house while I have birth to my last child because I always want him a part of my huge moments. He held my new born - knowing he had just gotten married and said nothing. They gaslight me saying I was crazy feeling left out. Him saying he can’t get married without me. Lying to my face every single day for a year. Just … all of it. After realizing all of this i tried to leave without making a sense. His husband mockingly asked me if I was mad. I said I’d talk to them another day and they should enjoy their night. I was able to leave without anyone else at the wedding knowing I was upset. Before I could leave the happy couple pulls me into a room- my brother is crying saying he didn’t do this to hurt me- I keep it together say enjoy or night and we will talk another day- his husband says “oh so there is something to talk about then” I repeat we can talk another day. They ask me to brunch. I say I’ll see if I’m up / ready for it when they go. The next morning I realize the whole wedding party and some guest are going to lunch. I choose not to go because I am not going to put myself in a situation where I am ganged up on… again over my feelings about the wedding and wedding party. After that I left the wedding chat on snap (which they were notified of) at this point it’s the next morning and his husband starts blowing me and my friend (who was with me) up. We ignore and go about our day. I have not looked at or spoken to my brother since- aside from short responses to get me to the airport the day I left. When i left I asked them to crop me out of the wedding photos as I didn’t want to be associated with a fake wedding and I didn’t want a reminder of how embarrassing it was and how stupid I looked. I told them I didn’t want to speak to them again … my brother says nothing and his husband says “your a narcissist and I feel bad for the people who have to deal with you” pretty sure narcissistic more aligns with tricking 100 people into coming to a wedding (some of the wedding that was paid for by other people) just to tell everyone haha this was just a giant party for us - jokes on you is probably more narcissistic than me reacting to the time money- energy spend to attend a fake wedding. But alright. Lol. I just don’t know where to go from here. I have them both blocked. There is a line in our family. My brother has not tried to fix it. He has the chance to show me what I meant to him… he did .. and now I have to believe him. I’m going to try to update in sections - 1. I guess to answer if he is in an abusive relationship that really is up to each person to decide. I will not, and won’t label him as abusive because I’m not in that relationship with them. • My mentioning of the drag queens was because they are a part of the story.? Hello- it was one of the queens that made the announcement? I’m not sure why some of you are taking that as me being anything phobic. Mentioning that somebody is gay, or that drag queens attended a wedding is a part of a story and it’s factual. It’s not anything phobic. Our family, as well as new husband’s family have always been nothing but supportive and excepting. • My mom. My mom has two kids who are very hurt. She could never hate my brother, but she definitely does not like the decisions that he has been making. She is doing her best to support her two children. • Gay wedding. No kids allowed. Two separate statements lol. They definitely did not ban Gay children from their wedding. Lol.! I mentioned both of these things to explain why I was a flower fairy. No kids. Flower girl. Fairy- to go along with the gay/Dragon theme.? Hello people. I proudly slap those wings on and dance my way down the aisle. That is definitely not anything phobic lol. For those of you who are saying anything along those lines, you were definitely reaching and projecting. Using narcissistic when it actually does not apply to the person in my opinion is trying to Weaponized More info in the comments July 17, 2023 TOP QUESTIONS !!! For some reason, I cannot edit my post to add this, so hopefully most of you will see it • Me and new husband as far as I know, did not have any hard feelings going into the wedding. There was a time when they were dating that I expressed I didn’t like the fact that my brother was working two jobs for a new husband to try to become a “music producer” I watched my brother, kill himself for years to try to support both of them while he sat around smoking weed in his “studio” and ever since then new husband decided that I hate him even though we have since squashed all of those issues when he got a job and started contributing- even when we did not get along I always made it very clear if my brother loves you and I love you too • Both families have been very supportive. There is no homophobia or anything like that on either side. • Is my brother in an abusive relationship? I don’t know I guess that’s what each individual person would consider abusive. I don’t wanna label my brother’s partner unfairly as abusive when I’m not in a relationship myself and my brother has never expressed feeling abused. I think if you consider this behavior manipulative and abusive, then that’s up to your own discretion however, I am not going to give anyone that label. • I didn’t decide this was a fake wedding. THEY DID when THEY decided to announce in the middle of the ceremony that they were already married. THEY made It a “fake wedding” when THEY announced that it was fake. Lol hello? 5- Russian bots. ? Pushing propaganda? OK people I only mentioned the fact that there was a drag show at the wedding because that is a very uncommon thing…. I found out that my brother had been married for a year and had been lying to my face via drag queen announcements. That is just stating the facts. That has absolutely nothing to do with the drag community, or how myself, or anybody else should feel about them. They were paid to do a job and they showed up and did what they were paid to do. I have no ill will towards anybody in any type of community. Those of you who are saying me, mentioning them comes off as judgmental are very much for reaching. For those of you who think it’s weird that I did not mention that he was gay.? Why is that weird? And why is that relevant to the story lol.! The people who had their panties in a wad, probably have more of an issue with the community than I do. Stop making this post about anything other than what it is about. • At the end of the day, I am mourning the loss of my brother. I am mourning the relationship that I thought him and I had… and to be honest based off of my perspective of our closeness I am honestly questioning my own sanity- do you generally spend hours talking to somebody, getting matching tattoos, planning a wedding, being at holidays and childbirth with somebody that you’re not close with? At least on my end I did not make up how close I was with my brother if it was not reciprocated, and he is a very good actor. And honestly me questioning our closeness has been the most hurtful part about this entire experience. It’s made me question if I’m crazy or not. • Gay wedding. Child free. Two separate statements. It was not a wedding where they did not invite gay kids lol. For anyone who read it like that you are extra weird. My brother is obviously gay and got married to a man…. Therefore, it is a gay wedding… children were not allowed to attend the wedding there for a child free. Two separate things people. Both are ok. And I also want to say that I would never have slapped fairy wings on my back and dance down the aisle if I was not 100% supportive of them - please stop trying to make this an issue other than two siblings, having a falling out another comment July 17, 2023 Ok aoooooo. I feel like you are very much twisting the story lol. I did not make sure everyone knew I was leaving the wedding. I actually left very discreetly at almost midnight when the wedding was ending at 1 AM. I did not make my brother cry his now Husband kept trying to force a conversation that I asked respectfully multiple times to not have the night of the wedding so that way it would not ruin their day. I showed up and every single thing my brother asked of me. I took the bullying, and it kept my mouth shut for most of it after I was accused of trying to make the wedding about me. From that point on, I went out of my way to do everything I could to make his day as special as I could for him. Comment about her husband July 17, 2023 Brother try to contact my husband to ask how to pay back what I spent to come to the wedding. My husband said that he was not going to get involved. Brother tried to convince my husband that I was over reacting. My husband told Brother that is absolutely not true, and I have every right to be upset and what he did was bonkers. My husband very much has been supportive, but also is very sad to see me and my brother fighting like this. UPDATE 1 Update - I'm the flower fairy July 19, 2023 I’m going to do my best to put as much information as I can but it ends up really long and reddit will not let me post. So I’m going to try to answer all of the questions and I’m going to paraphrase a lot. The update is- there is no update. Things are the same. They are still blocked. One suggestion was that I should write him a letter, which I actually did do the day after this happened and I left it in his room.- I laid out all of my feelings, and describe in detail. How hurt I was. We had a 2 Hour Dr. where he said absolutely nothing even after reading my letter. I did end up losing all of my manners when I landed and my husband informed me that he sent him a message basically saying that I was over reacting. I said a lot of things that I was not very proud of. At the end of the day I stand by my truth, and I stand by my perspective of what happened. Please stop trying to make this a phobia issue.- both families have been nothing but supportive- they represent themselves not an entire group of people- stop being so simple minded. The mention of drag queens was only there because one of the queens announced that they had gotten married a year ago.- plus how many times do you see a drag show at a wedding? If YOU read some imaginary undertone, that is definitely a YOU issue. moving on. New husband in my opinion is not somebody that I would label as abusive- however abuse is subjective. I think this more falls down to him being very emotionally immature. I am not a yes man, I was for the wedding.. that’s an appropriate time to be a yes man … outside of that new husband has always been intimidated by my opinion- I think he knows I can see through his BS. weak men hate strong women. That’s a fact. And that’s the case here. However, we did not have any type of beef on the wedding day- or for years before - I made it clear if my brother loves you and wants to spend his life with you then I support that. My mom is trying her best to be as supportive as she can to both of her kids.- she could never hate my brother, although she absolutely hates what he did- as far as I go- I don’t know who I am without my brother- he was just as important to me as my children and my husband- it was always me and him. To say that I am mourning is an understatement. This whole situation has made me question a 30 year relationship. Realizing his capability to live a double life that I’m not a part of has rock to my entire world in my entire sense of reality. I’m not ok. I’m going to spend the next year being no contact- I’m going to go to therapy and get my mind, body and soul in the Best place possible - while pushing as much good karma into the world as I can. Maybe then I will be able to decide if I want to close that door fully and permanently- or if I’m at a place where I’m willing to create a new normal with him. At the end of the day- I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken - I also want to address frequently asked things. 1. Baby was #5- no fear of being overshadowed- the date that they got married was because it was a dating anniversary for them- nothing to do with me or my pregnancy. 2. I am aware that people get married and have a large ceremony later.- that’s ok! ITS NOT WHAT THEY DID. ITS HOW THEY DID IT. 3. I am not a Russian bot Trying to push propaganda lol. Those comments did make me laugh though. 4. If I had the answer to why they would feel comfortable doing this to me then I guess I wouldn’t be as dumbfounded as I am… I’m not leaving out any type of detail … honestly, it would be a lot easier if I did something so horrible to deserve this because then I wouldn’t have to wonder why, I’d know. at the end of the day I’m not OK. I don’t know if there’s anything he could do to fix this.. I’ll always wonder if he’s telling me the truth or what he’s hiding. After the way that his husband spoke to me, and after him allowing him to do that, I’m honestly so disgusted with both of them. I deleted the original post because I didn’t want them to be attacked, sadly, I still have a need to try to protect him- I don’t know you guys. THE BROTHER-IN-LAW APPEARED AND MADE A COMMENTS IN THE ORIGINALPOST u/Objective_Coat_5948 Here July 23 Brother in law here, I’ll just start by saying for one, having a big wedding ceremony one year later was not my idea, but once we decided that we were going to do it, we consulted many times about telling people beforehand for fear of things like this happening. I’ve never had a great relationship with op, but we’ve tried to make things work mostly for my husband(her brother) because I knew they were very close and while I wasn’t too fond of her due to our interactions in the past. I know how important those close relationships are and would never wish to tear that apart. Op didn’t want to talk about it at all, we tried to apologize and explain that the intention was never for any humiliation or insult to anyone at all. but she wouldn’t have any conversation about it especially the night of. The next day at the air bnb I tried to open a dialogue with op about how she was feeling, and she only responded with snark and comments about how “there’s nothing to talk about” (that’s the small conversation where the “so there is something to talk about” statement was said by me) I eventually let it be and left the room. Everything that was said by her didn’t help me or anyone understand really how she felt about it and the little she did say seemed very self centered and about how this was a plan to humiliate her specifically, which it was most definitely not. Reading through this now though, I do understand a bit more why she felt that way. And for that I truly am sorry. Anyway I’m not entirely sure how these work or if there’s a proper way to post this but, ask me anything ig. u/Exact_Butterscotch40 reply All I am going to say is- you both are married now and you made your choice- you both are a partnership- you both collectively decided to do this and decided it was a good idea and the consequences is . I want nothing to do with either one of you ever again. That’s it. There is no reason or purpose to keep having an open dialogue about this because it’s done. And you starting out your post with you don’t like me pretty much confirmed everything that I said. I wish you and him nothing but happiness, but this conversation is over. I’ve heard your side of things and it still isn’t good enough to justify what you both did. and I’m choosing to walk away from both of you. u/Exact_Butterscotch40 MADE ANOTHER REPLY HERE July 19, 2023 He admits in the text above he knew. He literally says we didn’t want to tell people because they were there and happy. He knew what he was doing. It was a huge manipulation. Lying to people to get what you want is manipulation. Omitting things from people to not give them the power to make a fair choice is also very much manipulation. They knew what they were doing. At the sentence the other people said “brother doesn’t value sister the same way” that’s it. That’s the end of the argument. They both showed me exactly what I meant to them. The motivation behind it is not really important anymore. Maybe this was just a total oversight in a mistake- but regardless, the result was the same- and the consequence remains the same- I want nothing to do with y’all. I wish you happiness because I will always love n. If you make him happy then I am so happy for the both of you. Truly I am. Our relationship was the sacrifice for this day, and you both decided to make it. I reacted to it and was trying to sort through my feelings by posting on this podcast. I did not expect for it to go viral so for that I am sorry. I did try to remove the post, but it was too late. I realize that “you don’t like me due to past interactions.” And that’s fine. So what I am about to say won’t matter. My heart is completely shattered. I’m literally going through a mourning process like someone died. Because that night the relationship N and I had did die. He has always been my person. He isn’t now, and I’ve never felt more alone. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to be ok. Both of your responses just confirm everything I said and everything I felt. You have your side. I have mine. But ultimately everyone is feeling the lose of me and N. This changes everything in the family. I’m going to continue to root for BOTH of you. Always. But I am going to do it from my side of the world. In an emergency either of you can call me and I’ll be there. But outside of that - I am good on both of you. You don’t like me- I’m out of your life now. You don’t get to “defer to n” when it comes to me but want to orchestrate our conversation after he did what he did. YOU are NOT a safe place for me. Just like I’m sure you feel like I’m not either. You win. Go be with n. Go have a happy life. eightmarshmallows commented to the BIL I have some questions. Why did the brother not tell her you were married for an entire year? I get surprising most of the guests, but his sister? And mom? It feels very mean....... Why wasn’t OP allowed to back out of the wedding party?..... Did you really call her a narcissist?..... u/Objective_Coat_5948 The decision to keep it a secret was in hindsight, a bad choice I’ll admit openly for sure, as for the rest of it… it’s tough because while it was definitely tense between us, I never wanted to make anything worse, so if I ever had to deal with op in any way I would always defer to her brother on how to do so. me reading all of this was the first I’m ever hearing about her wanting to back out of the wedding party sooo when it comes to that I have absolutely no idea. To be honest, I am a diagnosed adhd haver so I’m not super great at planning and anyone who knows both of us knows brother is the type a planner person so I wasn’t as involved in the wedding party/planning thing. I wish I said what I said in a different way but yes I did say that after she refused to talk to anyone for 2 days and once brother drops her off at the airport she decides to put us both in a text group chat and absolutely go tf off about how she can say her piece and she can stand by her truth and she won’t hear a word of anything else from anyone else. I know it was mean, and at the time i did want to convey that, I wish I didn’t say it but it’s too late. About the surprise, hindsight is 20/20, I was very fearful of a grand upset and I’m pretty sure brother was too, we talked about it, but it was like one of those things where someone texts you and you forget to text back and then after a while it’s just too awkward to say anything cause it’s been too long, obviously the magnitude of these things are vastly different and I’m aware of that, but when we decided we were going to do it we just stuck to our guns and the time just flew by and before you know it it’s the week of the wedding and people are here from out of town and there’s so much to do, and by that point we thought about telling specifically her and some other key family members. But figures we’ll it’s been so long already and rather than have a possible huge blowout that could be so bad it could maybe result in the wedding not even happening, everyone seems happy right now so we’ll just wait and hope for the best, and we’ll here we are, dumb decisions were made and that sucks. That comment is the only mean thing I said to her the entire week, and it was after trying so hard to smooth things over specifically with her and brother and getting cold shoulder followed by weird accusations She can hate me and that’s fine but brother doesn’t deserve the vitriol that was omitted by op’s posts and I was hoping for things to work out. The section above was particularly my perspective at the time given that I only had the little bit of her perspective that I had to filter through all the anger it was encased in. I feel a bit more sympathetic now tbh I still don’t agree with everything but I understand more now. and again I’m sorry for how painful it really was, I wish things could’ve been done differently, I really do. Sorry for the huge run on sentences De_bitterbal So now your placing the majority of the blame on your husband, OPs brother? Way to be a partner to your new husband. "I have adhd". How does that absolve you from being a person? The only truthful thing I'm seeing here is that you didn't really like OP due to 'past interactions' Objective_Coat_5948 I’m not placing blame on anyone I’m just saying what happened, the adhd doesn’t absolve anything, nor was it intended to. I’ll 100 admit my part of the wrong, but I didn’t mastermind anything like everyone is assuming I did. We made a dumb choice that led to hurt and I apologize for that truly, but I wont just let 3k people accuse me of something I didn’t do without at least trying to clarify from my pov. There’s a whole arc of shit between me and op from years ago that was left completely out of all her posts, and she knows that. Final comment from the BIL Alr, well I’ve said my bit, I’ve apologized, I tried to smooth things over as much as I have the ability to, i don’t have any I’ll will towards anyone and I never have. It wasn’t supposed to hurt anyone, but it did and that sucks major booty, I didn’t mastermind anything, this wasn’t my idea, I said a mean thing in the end after being blasted in the texts. No one’s perfect, you’ve made up your minds about me from a one sided perspective and that’s okay, this is Reddit. At the end of the day all the people who have opinions on this in the comments weren’t there and don’t know the people involved at all irl. Wish you all the best with your future endeavors. Fr I really do mean it. But yeah ✌️🕊️ ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE WEDDING PARTY POSTS (THIS PERSON DELETED THEIR COMMENTS - COMMENTS WERE SAVED) https://imgur.com/NsHYrw4 Here July 23, 2023 u/slaphappypap Whelp, I was at this wedding, though I was not a member of the wedding party. I agree that a lot of what happened with op on this is fucked up. But I’m calling bullshit on some of the things that was said by her brothers husband, or at least the tone it was said in, or the way it was interpreted maybe??? That man might just be the most stand up guy I know. He quickly became a best friend of mine when he became my boss over a year ago. I’ve seen him go above and beyond to help out people he’s not even fond of. The only scenario in which I see him doing these types of things is if op said some things she’s omitting from the post. Second thing I’m calling bullshit on. The entire wedding party was not at the lunch the next day. I was there, and two members of 6 were present. Op‘s brother’s best man was there and so was one other. There was a plan for everyone to go, but everyone had their own thing they needed to do. Lots of stuff needed to be driven around etc. Again, what happened with op was fucked up. Even from the point of view I heard it from which was her brothers husband. And I’m sure I know probably 10% of what actually went down with all of this. But there’s 2 sides to every story. In this case there’s more like 4. Her not being at their actual wedding makes sense given that she had just moved to the east coast and the wedding was on the west coast. That and as she mentioned she gave birth 3 days later. If it was my sister she would’ve known at least. And she would’ve been best man for me at the wedding party, but that’s me. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of this was exaggerated based on what I know. Which again isn’t much. TheJuiceyJuice replied There are always two sides to a story for sure. But lets take away all the narrative and leave in the main issues here. OP spent a lot of time effort and money on the wedding having been led to believe the whole way through the process that it was a real wedding (when the rest of the Groomspeople all knew except for her that it wasnt). She was led to believe that she was one of the most important people there, she did what was asked of her by fairy dancing down the aisle (which not everybody would have the guts to do), to only then have it sprung on her that it was all fake in a humiliating way. Man, i'd be so gutted! By doing what they did, how they did it, she probably feels really hurt and like they took away her important part in the wedding in those few short seconds and then she realised she was the only one who didnt know. Ooofff - Kick a fairy when shes down! It really could have been far better thought out. I'll be honest - I would feel like the butt of the joke and really really embarrassed - I think most people would. We all make mistakes and some damage control is certainly needed to rebuild bridges. Hope they work it out. I dont know what i'd do without my brothers and sisters in my life. u/slaphappypap 100% and I agree with just about everything you said. My point is that she made assumptions about at least two things. One of which was the lunch I was at. She assumed it was a big lunch that included everyone but her, when that was far from the case. It was me and 3 others. I picked where we ate 5 minutes before we went. I did nothing more than attend the wedding and stay overnight cause I drove 90 minutes there. And most of the actual wedding party wasn’t present at that lunch. In fact the grooms said they weren’t going because they wanted to talk to and spend time with op. So what else did she make assumptions about? I know she’s assumed her brothers husband put him up to this and that it was all his idea. She’s said that in the comments. This was not the case at all. The whole thing about not telling anyone was her brother’s idea. Again to reiterate, she’s valid in feeling the way she does about a lot of these things. And again, I know way less than she does, or her brother, or her brother’s husband. But I’m willing to bet that if her and her brother had a conversation about it, a lot of the air would get cleared. Would it completely mend her wounds? No. But they both should be willing to do that. I’m surprised to hear he didn’t talk at all in the car with her. That’s unfortunate. And to be clear, I don’t know op. We shook hands and introduced ourselves at the beginning of the wedding. That’s the extent of my knowing her. Clearly I’m biased, because I know her brothers husband well, and her brother pretty well at this point too. slaphappypap left one final comment Well I hope you have a lovely rest of your day. As for me. I'm out of this shit show UPDATE 2 New update - Moving on July 25, 2023 Moving On If your reading this you’re here because you are super invested in my families tea. Lol. But really. I’m ok. I’m going to be ok, or maybe I won’t. Either way I am going to keep moving forward and if you want to come along with me. You can follow me on tic tok. I’m not trying to be an influencer. I’m just going to use it as a diary / coping / safe space. My name on there is tkarrh29 NOTE - u/Exact_Butterscotch40 has so far posted videos of her in the dress she wore to the wedding https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT887ML2G/ as well her thoughts on what happened that night after the announcement was made, such as the wedding party looking to at her to make a scene which OOP did not do https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT887ALo6/ Another video where OOP talks about attending the wedding with her brothers father who Sexually assaulted her as a child https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8L1ghsx/ Link to transcript of the video courtesy of u/mamapielondon: Here For added context Thanks to u/Tigress92 for pointing out this comment by u/tulip_angel Comment Here NEW UPDATE It’s been 6 months. Flower fairy update. Feb 6, 2024 I wish I could be writing that my brother had begged for my forgiveness. That things somehow managed to go back to how they were. But they haven’t. Nothing with my situation has changed. The only thing they truly changed was my perception of someone I thought i knew. I know a lot of people can’t understand because you’re not close with a sibling. But this has been like a true death for me. And sometimes my grief so so big I don’t know what to do with it. He hasn’t reached out. He hasn’t explained. He hasn’t even cared if I’m being fully honest, and what a mind fuck that has been. To go from someone being as important to you as your husband and children, to them showing you over and over how little you do, and ever did mean to them. He has doubled down on the “I didn’t do anything wrong and you’re over reacting” which is honestly just the biggest slap in the face. If someone can’t admit they did something wrong, then they will never actually be sorry and the chances of behavior repeating itself and sky high. A lot of you pointed out our relationship might have only been this important to me, and I think you all were right. For a long time I cried every day. I cried during the times we would normally talk on the phone, or when a song reminded me of him. And sometimes I’ve cried for no reason at all other than just feeling like there is a hole in me now. But I find myself crying less and less. And sometimes when I think of him, my first thought that follows will be “wow, it’s been days since he has even crossed my mind” and I guess that’s progress right. I’m not crying every day anymore. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still shedding tears. Tears he doesn’t deserve, but they come anyways. Because that’s the thing about unconditional love. It still exists even when the other person broke your heart. It doesn’t go away. But sometimes the other person can just no longer have access to the unconditional anymore. We have spoken. Briefly. Over the phone during the holidays to deal with a family emergency involving another family member… it was pretty much all business. Everyone around us kept saying, I’m so glad you guys are talking again… but we weren’t talking again. We were just dealing with business…. And I guess that’s all the talking we will ever do again. At one point my Husband chimed into our phone conversation and told him how much he misses him too- and he cried. I guess I forgot I wasn’t the only one losing someone- but either way that doesn’t change anything. My kids have not even noticed. He did try to send Christmas gifts to them through my mom- but only because I said something about him not acknowledging my son on his birthday. So is that all he’ll ever be?? Impersonal generic gifts that my kids get once a year? I told my mom to send them back and that they don’t need a “gift uncle” honestly they have enough of those on my husbands side. With that I also came to the realization if you don’t have a good respectful relationship with me, you absolutely do not get access to my children. And to be fully honest, he never really took that much interest in my kids anyway (I know he cares and loves them, but as far as a personal one on one relationship with them… let’s just say the extent of how much he got to know them was always me telling him about them) . So there really wasn’t a deep preestablished relationship with any of my kids and him…. And with him not being on good terms with me, or my husband, I’m not going to allow him access to my children. And I would honestly feel the same way and react to anyone this way. If someone shows you over and over again that they do not love and respect you, why would you allow them access to your kids? Especially if all they are is a gift once a year. I’m not healed. But I am on my way. It’s not better, but it’s getting better. I feel I am suffering the consequences of someone else’s actions. I was spiraling but I am finding my new normal. I’ll update again at the one year mark. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I (25f) am marrying my high school sweetheart (26m) we decided to finally tie the knot after nearly 7 years of dating. I truly love him, and thankfully get along with most of his family. Expect for his mum. She is continuously nagging at me for not giving her a grandson, I know this may be harmless however my fiance has repeatedly told her that she already has a grandchild. My baby girl (5), she's my best friend's daughter. They sadly passed away, she was my godchild so it only felt right that I should take her in and bring her up in a way I knew her mother, my best friend, would want. Recently, we have begun getting bridesmaid dresses etc. We both decided to make our newly found daughter a flower girl, she loves flowers and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to help her feel like we take her as our own. At a recent family gathering my fiance's mother has non-stop been horrible to my baby girl, let's call her Ellie, saying things like, "I simply don't understand why an adopted child should take the place of a true blood" Which simply made my blood boil, along with the many other comments she made. I pulled her to the side asking her to tone down her comments knowing how much this meant to Ellie, she kept saying I was being rude to my new family by making someone who (in her eyes) has nothing to do with me. I immediately snapped, feeling outraged by her comments. Ellie is my godchild, and I will always care and love her. She seemed hurt at my words, but I didn't care. Immediately taking me and Ellie out of her house, when my fiance came home he was confused as his mother had said I was being verbally abusive towards her and making threats. I did no such thing. Anyway, a few days passed and Ellie was upset as she noticed we hadn't seen her cousins who were staying with my fiances. Shoving all my anger up my ass, I finally decided to try to apologize and head to her house once more. All was fine until I heard a horrid scream, rushing up the stairs I saw Ellie crying whilst my fiances's mum was standing screaming at her while holding her teddy which her mother made. They are inseparable and I know how much that means, it's a struggle to even wash the teddy, and I immediately snapped once more at her. She stood embarrassed as the whole family had gathered. She then gained confidence saying she was upset that I had chosen "fake blood", over "real blood". I think you can choose family, and a friend can be better. "Real family) then your own, I was upset watching Ellie crying as my husband grabbed the toy taking her away from the heated situation. I finally had enough, saying if she has so much problem with her being the flower girl. She might as well skip the wedding and just join us for the reception. She began crying, and I did feel bad but I wasn't going to take back what was said. After leaving the "family" has been telling my husband to tell me to apologize, and they aren't messaging me as what I said was harsh. I find that bogus but whatever. AITA? submitted by /u/kdea05 to r/AITAH [link] [comments]

Originally posted by u/twin_bridesmaid in r/AmItheAsshole on Mar 29, '23 updated on Mar 31, '23.   Trigger Warning: Toxic religious views, mental health, alcoholism, stillbirth, infidelity   AITA for pulling out of my sister's wedding due to her inlaws? Mar 29, '23   AITA for pulling out of my sister's wedding due to her inlaws? For background, Stella and I are identical twins, 29F and we will both be 30 when her wedding comes around this fall. I had her as my maid of honor 8 years ago and she promised me that I could be hers when her wedding came around. I have 2 kids, 6F and 3F. They're the flower girls. My marriage fell apart just over two years ago, due to a stillbirth and my husband's infidelity. My parents and sister were the only reason I didn't drown from the stress, loneliness, and total abandonment of my spouse. I was a total mess. I went to therapy, got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression, quit drinking, and I owe a lot of it to my amazing sister. She's the reason why I kept chasing down my ex for child support when he stopped suddenly paying (he suddenly switched from "world's best dad" to "deadbeat dumbass" so quickly that my ex MIL is disgusted with him) Stella and Jon 35M got engaged last year. His parents are paying about 60% of the wedding. Our parents are paying 30%, Stella and Jon paying for the rest themselves. The biggest caveat is that they must be married in Jon's family's church, full mass with communion. The family is on board because this is going to be a very big wedding. Tonight, Stella had invited me to dinner, as they had finally reserved a date for the church and reception, assuming it was to formally ask me to be her MOH. I was excited since I haven't been in a wedding party aside from my own wedding. Jon was with her, weird because Stella didn't mention him coming at all in our texts about the dinner. We hugged like usual but Jon didn't. Weirder. After we got our drinks, they got to it. In a nutshell, Jon expressed the following: "Despite my best efforts to keep it secret, my parents found out that you're divorced when they asked why your husband wasn't coming. They are no longer comfortable with you as MOH, because it won't look good to the church if my family hears about the divorce. You can be a bridesmaid but can't mention the divorce or your conditions at all during the wedding events." I was stunned, and I felt tears in my eyes. Stella started crying too and she tried to spin it in a good way. "This is way less stressful for you, so it's a good thing! MIL has already approved my BFF as my MOH, so please don't make this any harder." I knew that I couldn't possibly stay there through an entire meal. I had to process this new info alone. I didn't speak. I just paid for my wickedly expensive cocktail, and left to order an Uber home. A few hours ago, I texted Stella that I would not be in her wedding party at all. That was my decision. I wouldn't pull my daughters out, but I would only attend as a guest. She wouldn't take this as an answer, so I had to temp block her due to her excessive texts and calls. I sent my parents a summary of what happened and promised to call them when I was in better shape tomorrow. Stella thinks that this is a total overreaction. I don't even want to know what Jon thinks at this point. Please help me. AITA? Edit: Thank you for all the responses. I half expected to be told to just put up with it and be a plain bridesmaid, which while difficult I kinda would have forced myself to just to make Stella happy. I was just so blindsided and I feel like I've been gut-punched, and I do need to be told if I am overreacting in a big way sometimes. I'm going to fall asleep now while binging Friends. And wonder if my twin has suddenly become an Ursula instead of Phoebe... Edit 2: Wow. I did not expect this to blow up. I can't thank everyone enough for their input. I have a call scheduled with my parents this afternoon (from what I gathered, they are extremely upset with Stella and Jon at the moment) Depending on how that goes, I will talk to my girls about doing something big and fun instead. The more I think about it, sitting through a mass sounds less and less appealing. I'm not even religious. And I saw this query in the comments... yes, I had a cocktail with no alcohol. I use the word mocktail but I guess its meaning is still lost to some people. X'D When I asked for a list of "mocktails" last night, the server was a little condescending about it and said they're still called cocktails if they're not alcoholic.   In the comments: I keep seeing that everyone thinks that I should pull out my daughters. I disagree. As I currently stand, I would be fine attending as a mere guest / child minder to keep my daughters on track. It would actually make it easier to not have to bring a friend with me just as a part time babysitter for the occasion. I will not let anyone in Jon's family talk down to my children. If I have any sort of inkling that such a thing would happen, only then would I pull them out as flower girls. . This is simply too important to my daughters for me to pull them out all together. They would be crushed if they were told they couldn't go to the wedding anymore. Judgement: Not the Asshole   Update 2 Days Later Mar 31, '23   This is going to be a brief update. Jon found the post as he lurks on reddit, and shared it with Stella (wish I used the fake name Ursula, since she joked about that detail herself) Stella-Ursula has officially called off the wedding. When Jon was ranting about the post and how bad the comments were painting him, he said that "your sister must be off her g&&&mn meds and going manic, you better get her @$$ under control." But then Stella-Ursula actually came undone on him and began calling out everything that Jon and his family had put her through. Then she took off the ring and chucked it across the living room. Jon went into a rage, and while he didn't do anything but yell at her he threatened her in regards to her mobility issues. Stella-Ursula uses a cane to walk. This was what triggered her to text our parents and myself. By the time our parents made it to the house, Jon was gone and she had packed up her bags and left with them. Her cane was not in the house. Stella-Ursula wanted to thank you all for the comments calling her out. It shattered the mosaic that Jon built around them, and while we're both still raw and processing the last couple days, I am glad to have my sister again. She was someone else I hardly recognized a few days ago. As kids, I was more outgoing and she was more reserved, so I felt obliged to go along with her the other night despite how conflicted I felt. But again, Stella-Ursula says thanks for the wake-up call. And Jon, if you see this: fuck you. :) Edit: You know what? Fuck you, Keith.   Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost. submitted by /u/KittenDealinMama to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]