Simple Landscaping Front Yard

..., deep exploratory holes in my front yard to expose where the utility ... you’re doing any sort of landscaping in the area, including even .... For fiber, you’ll have a simple box at the wall where ...

...not with simple embarrassment. Ray filed that away. He walked across his yard to...for the vote on the landscaping budget, her voice was tighter ... She walked straight to the front window, pulled the curtain aside, ...fall and turned toward the front door without another word. Her ...losing control like this in front of her husband. Her laughter ...and losing control right in front of him. Karen’s laughter was ...

... to offend him. Rip van Simple forgets why he’s sitting at... grass in base neighborhoods where landscaping crews have not worked in... uptick in snakes in their yard with multiple coral snakes. The... vandalizing a sculpture on the front steps of the Minnesota Capitol ...

...When I went to the front of the class in front of everyone the teacher cracked ...teach her how to spell simple words. The bully was purposely ... insulin shots right in front of everybody. He treats me ... clock" when I'm doing yard work to make my Grandmother's yard look nice. After stealing my ...many. I'm cursed on that front. Every time I get a ...in JAX working for a landscaping company. We pulled into a ...

... bought mulch by the yard but vowed to produce his...yard and realized it needed attention. “Eduardo, do any of your contacts do landscaping...?” he asked. “I’d like the shrubs trimmed and the yard mowed.” “Yes... grilled burgers for a simple supper. Far away, Jeremy watched ..., and gazed across the yard, lost in thought. When this ... on the island in front of him. “This will help ...

... the technology involved was rather simple. I was absolutely sure a... in my pocket seemed rather simple to me, being built out...." "We're Keller Property Maintenance & Landscaping," said Ryan. "We just got ... reason we call them The Yard Dogs," Ryan said, "is because ... the "Keller Property Maintenance & Landscaping" logo. I did this for ..., I parked the truck in front of a warehouse with a ...

... the technology involved was rather simple. I was absolutely sure a... in my pocket seemed rather simple to me, being built out...." "We're Keller Property Maintenance & Landscaping," said Ryan. "We just got ... reason we call them The Yard Dogs," Ryan said, "is because ... the "Keller Property Maintenance & Landscaping" logo. I did this for ..., I parked the truck in front of a warehouse with a ...

... pattern, window inserts, hardware). Front door color and hardware finish...from the driveway to the front entry, with a logical path...A front porch or stoop landing if one exists in the model — add a simple welcome... near an exterior spigot. Simple landscaping in foundation beds: low evergreen ... shade trees in the yard at realistic scale (30–50 ... the view includes a front property line. Subtle tire marks ...

... them start working on the landscaping before you get the keys ... making any mistakes. The total landscaping budget for new homes in ... in order to have our landscaping done weeks earlier and with ... and cheapest type is a simple raised polycarbonate roof, but I'm ... it's worth it when our landscaping is already over our original ... small olive tree in the front yard somewhere. I forget why they ...

Hi everyone! I’m looking for recommendations for a trustworthy contractor in **Naga City** (or nearby areas) for a house renovation project. The scope includes: Installation of a **swing gate** **Carport/parking** with canopy Renovation of the **front yard** (concrete works and simple landscaping) I’m looking for someone who: Is reliable and easy to communicate with Delivers quality workmanship Provides transparent pricing Finishes projects on time Has a good track record If you’ve personally hired a contractor that you would recommend, I’d really appreciate it if you could share. I’d also appreciate hearing about contractors to avoid. Thank you! submitted by /u/FollowingProof5179 to r/Ph_Contractor_Reviews [link] [comments]

Hi everyone! I’m looking for recommendations for a trustworthy contractor in Naga City (or nearby areas) for a house renovation project. The scope includes: Installation of a swing gate Carport/parking with canopy Renovation of the front yard (concrete works and simple landscaping) I’m looking for someone who: Is reliable and easy to communicate with Delivers quality workmanship Provides transparent pricing Finishes projects on time Has a good track record If you’ve personally hired a contractor that you would recommend, I’d really appreciate it if you could share. I’d also appreciate hearing about contractors to avoid. Thank you! submitted by /u/FollowingProof5179 to r/Bicol [link] [comments]

Welcome to ranks 5-1 for the r/NFL Top 100 Players of the 2025 Season! Players whose average rank landed them in places 5-1 are on this portion of the list revealed today. Players are associated with the team they finished playing for at the end of the 2025 season Below you will see some write-ups from the community summarizing the players’ 2025 season and why they were among the best in 2025. Additionally, their ranks from previous years are available for y’all to see METHODOLOGY Link to more detailed writeup on our methodology Step 1: A Call to Rankers right after the Conference Championship games Step 2: Rankers from each team nominated players to rank, with a 11 game minimum threshold. Players are associated with the team they played for in 2025 Step 3: The Grind. We instructed users to tier positions groups into T25, T50, etc based on 2025 regular season play only. This took several weeks as the rankers tiered each position group and discussed them. There were no individual player threads and no arbitrary position caps. Just questions and rankings. Step 4: Users submitted their own personal Top 125 lists. Step 5: User lists were reviewed by myself, and u/mattkud . The rankers were expected to answer questions about their lists. They were allowed to make any changes to their list, and were not forced to make any changes Step 6: The Reveal… where we are now! And without further ado, here are the Top 5 Players in the r/NFL Top 100 Players of the 2025 Season! #5 - Drake Maye - New England Patriots - Quarterback Accolades Accolade Total Year Pro Bowl 2 2024-25 AP All-Pro 2nd Team 1 2025​ Previous Ranks 2024 N/A​ Written by: u/KingDing-a-Ling13 Introduction The New England Patriots were in the midst of one of the worst periods in franchise history after the 2023 season. Mac Jones was a bust, Bill Belichick was shown the door, and the team hadn’t made the playoffs in TWO whole years. It was time to tear the team down and start fresh, and with the 3rd overall pick in the draft, the Patriots were in a good position to choose the future direction of the franchise. A few months before the draft, though, no one knew what was going to happen. Most thought the Commanders would take Drake Maye, and debates raged on about who the Patriots should select, whether it be Marvin Harrison Jr., Joe Alt, or neither and they trade down instead. The emergence of Jayden Daniels pre-draft, though, put all those debates to rest. Washington set their sights on Daniels, and the pick for the Patriots was now obvious: Drake Maye’s future was in Foxborough. Maye’s career didn’t blast off immediately, as the Patriots took a patient approach with the talented but raw prospect. After five games, though, Maye was awarded the starting job. He immediately showed flashes of the player he could become, throwing three touchdowns and continually extending plays in the pocket behind a porous offensive line. On the other hand, he did throw two interceptions, and his decision making and accuracy questions still needed to be resolved. The remainder of his rookie season saw much of the same. Maye flashed and showed real promise, but also real flaws, and couldn’t carry the offense, as the Patriots stumbled to a 4-13 record for the second season in a row. Despite this, Patriots fans remained hopefully optimistic, and there was real belief Maye could be the new franchise quarterback. Enter 2025, and Maye showed not only that he could be the new franchise quarterback, but that he could be a new elite quarterback in the league. Throwing 31 touchdowns to just 8 interceptions with a league-leading 72.0 completion percentage, Maye earned 2nd Team All-Pro honors and lost out on MVP by just one vote. A name so nice you say it twice, Drake “Drake Maye” Maye is the future of the Patriots, and maybe the future of the league. 2025 Drake Maye and the Patriots’ season started dreadfully, falling to the Raiders in an ugly loss. Fears immediately surged, as the team looked unimproved and there were worries Maye wasn’t going to make big strides. Week 2 put those fears to rest, as Drake Maye played very well and the Patriots scored 30+ points for the first time since October 2022. Those reinvigorated hopes were then quashed, in an ugly, infuriating Week 3 loss to the Steelers, where the Patriots had five turnovers in a one possession game, including two from Maye. The frustrations from that game were then put to rest in Week 4, as Maye had a near-perfect 155.6 passer rating and the Patriots scored 40+ points for the first time since January 2022. As you might be able to tell, it was a bit of a roller coaster start to the year. Week 5 would prove to be a season-defining game for the Patriots, though. Travelling away to Buffalo, the favorites for the division, many thought that how Maye and the Patriots performed would prove if their Week 1/3 or their Week 2/4 performances were more indicative of the quality of the team. Drake Maye went to Buffalo on Sunday Night Football, and proceeded to throw one of the single best passes of the entire season, a 30 yard dime to Diggs while rolling out to the right sideline. This is the throw that officially kickstarted Maye’s MVP campaign. It’s such a good pass, there’s only one way to truly experience it: in slow motion, set to Madonna.. With the game tied and two minutes left in the game, Drake Maye took the first snap of the drive, and the play was immediately broken on a busted protection. Defying all known laws of aviation, Drake Maye manages to stiff arm the defender just long enough to flick the ball away, milliseconds before his knee hit the ground, and completing one of the most unlikely first downs you’ll ever see. Just so we’re clear, DaQuan Jones is the pass rusher on this play. He is listed at 6’4” 320lb, and has a fistful of Maye’s jersey, dragging him to the ground.. This was meant to be 2nd and 20 on the Patriots own 20 yard line, and instead, Maye drove down the field for the game-winning field goal. Both of these incredible plays demonstrate one aspect of Maye’s game that made him elite: his ability to create and produce out of structure and off-platform. Maye has the mobility and physicality to make any throw from anywhere, no matter if he’s on one foot or if there’s a defender draped all over him. What about when Maye is given time in the pocket? You better pray that you have Ed Reed back there, because Maye was the best deep ball thrower in the league last year. Watch this 39-yard throw to Kayshon Boutte for the touchdown, where it looks like Maye so casually flicks his wrist and places the ball absolutely perfectly. Watch this 39-yard throw to Kayshon Boutte for the touchdown, where it looks like Maye so casually flicks his wrist and places the ball absolutely perfectly. No, I’m not playing repeater, that play just happened twice. If you prefer your deep shots less Bouttelicious, here’s a beautiful touchdown throw to Kyle Williams following the same script. If you prefer your deep shots less Bouttelicious, here’s a beautiful touchdown throw to Kyle Williams following the same script. Again, I’m not playing repeater, that play just happened twice. Maye had one of the best deep passing seasons in recent memory, and he made it look easy every time. The final piece of the puzzle that made Drake Maye great, though, was his play-to-play consistency. As you might expect from all those deep throws, Maye had the highest intended air yards per pass attempt in the league last season, meaning he was pushing the ball downfield more than anyone else. If Maye was slinging the rock around like prime Brett Favre, surely you wouldn’t expect him to lead the league in completion percentage. Well, not only did Drake Maye lead the league in completion percentage, he had the 5th best single-season completion percentage of all time, completing 72.0% of his passes, while no one else in the league reached 70%. If you watch the game-winning drive he led against the Ravens,, you’ll see him attack the middle of the field and the sideline, hit the intermediate routes and the underneath throws, hit the tight window quick outs, stand in the pocket, extend plays, throw while being hit, pretty much anything you’d want to see your quarterback do well. There isn’t a throw that Drake Maye can’t make. To top it all off, I’ve written all of this without discussing his impact on the ground, where he added another 450 rushing yards. There really aren’t many quarterbacks as complete as Drake Maye is, and it’s why he was damn close to winning MVP. Looking Ahead As incredible a season as Drake Maye had, the future outlook on him is about as polarizing as any quarterback in the league, for two reasons that have been talked about to death: the schedule, and the playoffs. Maye and the Patriots faced a historically easy schedule in the regular season, which some people pointed to as the reason for his success. Then, in the playoffs, Maye performed well below the level he showed in the regular season, struggling with turnovers and overall not looking nearly as sharp or as consistent. Was this the best version of Drake Maye we’ll ever see? Well, as much as I just gassed him up, Maye is not yet a perfect quarterback. His footwork can be inconsistent, he takes too many sacks, and he still has some boneheaded moments that have appeared in his film since college. On the other hand, Maye is still just 23 years old and was considered a raw prospect entering the league. Mechanics can be worked on, experience can improve awareness, and mistakes can be coached. Was Maye’s season a fluke, and were the playoffs the real version of him? Was the regular season the real Maye, and can he actually get better? I can’t answer those questions, but I do know a few things. That deep ball isn’t going away, his ability to extend plays isn’t going away, and his tenacity and determination isn’t going away. After years of struggle, the Patriots finally have their franchise quarterback, and his name is Drake “Drake Maye” Maye. #4 - Puka Nacua - Los Angeles Rams - Wide Receiver Accolades Accolade Total Year Pro Bowl 2 2023. 2025 AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2025 AP All-Pro 2nd Team 1 2023​ Previous Ranks 2024 2023 67 37​ Written by: u/HelmetsAkimbo Introduction Being stolen by the Rams in the 5th round of an incredible 2023 draft Puka Nacua brings the toughness of his Samoan blood to the wide receiver position. Larger than people think at 6'2 and 215lbs Puka can be categorised as a player who fights and claws for every single yard on the football field. At times this can be detrimental, it feels like every other game Puka would be heading to the locker room to be checked up on or barf. Puka attended the coveted 'Cooper Kupp school of being a Wide Receiver', a school 2025 NFL OPOY Jackson Smith-Njigba had the pleasure of attending also, and set records with his rookie campaign. From his first two years the biggest complaint anyone analysing his game would have is that he struggled to find the red zone as a pass catcher. With only 6 in his 1400 yard rookie year and 3 in his year 2 that was cut to just 11 games due to injury. 2025 Puka Nacua was production incarnate on the Rams #1 offense this season. He led the league in yards per game with 107.2, First Downs with 80 and in receptions with 129. Across the rest of the box score he went blow for blow with OPOY Jackson Smith-Njigba while missing a game. 1715 yards vs JSNs 1793, 27 20+ yard plays vs JSNs 27, 10 touchdowns vs JSNs 10. Due to the nature of the two players being in the same division, the vitriol and debate about who was better in 2025 got extremely heated. In the end JSN came away with the OPOY award and a Super Bowl victory. There should be no doubt in anyone's mind that at the wide receiver position in 2025 it was 1a and 1b you just decide for yourself who you think is a and b. With 1st team all pro honours Puka picked up his 2nd all pro in just three years. Nacua was a walking highlight reel in 2025. Even when he didn't catch the ball it was ludicrous. When Puka did have the ball in his hands or in the air off Stafford's arm he showed time and time again why he's one of the most valuable targets in the NFL. Give it to him on a Sweep and he'll take it to the house. Throw it at him on a Goal Line rub play and he won't let Malcolm Butler intercept it. Puka was significantly improved in his red zone presence this year. It had been a cause for concern about his game but it seemed he graduated from the Cooper Kupp School into the post graduate Davante Adams course. In the Red Zone when you need it most Puka can be your guy You could say Puka has been extremely lucky. To come into the league and learn from Cooper Kupp, Sean McVay and the quietly excellent Eric Yarber is the perfect place for a young wide receiver. Then in your third year you get to transition to learning from Davante Adams and expanding your skill set further. There's one thing being in a good organisation and having a bit of luck with the people you get to learn from can't teach you however - and that's how to make ridiculously incredible circus catches. Quick question, what do the following stat lines have in common? Alec Pierce, 1/16/0. Justin Jefferson, 2/4/0. Deebo Samuel, 5/41/0. Chris Olave, 10/57/0. Nicol Collins, 4/27/0. The answer? These are the stat lines of excellent wide receivers across the league when they clashed with the #1 Seattle Seahawks defense. In the week 16 Thursday Night Football firework show between the Rams and Seahawks, Puka went for his season high 12/225/2. Nowhere does iron sharpen iron better than the NFC West, and this season Nacua proved that even in the brightest lights he can put on the biggest show. Future It looks like Puka Nacua is going to start the 2025 season without a deal. His division rival signed a four year $168m deal but Puka is still yet to be paid. The Rams regularly give out deals to guys who deserve them closer to the season. Kyren Williams signed on the 5th of August. Or even during the season, Quentin Lake got his deal done on the 1st of January. Puka remains Stafford's favourite target, and while Stafford is year to year it seems that they're thinking past the 2026 season with Stafford's potential to keep playing. I would be very shocked to see Puka without a deal before the free agency period next year. Puka's 2025 season was marred with controversy. He has taken action to try to improve himself, including going into rehab. In a world of young football players doing things that they shouldn't be, taking action to try and right that path is step one towards a long and healthy career. Puka can have that, his talent is undeniable. Puka appears to have the Rams organisation behind him, and if he can right the ship that was starting to look like it was cap sizing he can fight for many more circus catches and first downs. #3 - Matthew Stafford - Los Angeles Rams - Quarterback Accolades Accolade Total Year Pro Bowl 3 2014, 2023, 2025 AP All-Pro 1st Team 1 2025 Comeback Player of the Year 1 2011 Most Valuable Player 1 2025 Super Bowl Champion 1 LVI​ Previous Ranks 2024 2023 2022 2021 2020 2019 2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 89 63 N/A 39 N/A N/A N/A 60 87 N/A N/A N/A 80​ Written by: u/PhAnToM444 Introduction Going into the 2025 season, the narrative surrounding Matthew Stafford was pretty predictable: he’s a tough as nails warrior with a cannon arm and a recent ring, but at 37 years old with a lengthy list of injuries, how much elite football did he really have left in him? After all, the retirement speculation was swirling everywhere in the off-season. The answer turned out to be… at least one more year. Unlike some of his contemporaries, Stafford didn’t limp into another passable year before we finally had to take him out back behind the barn. He put together arguably the finest regular season of his 17-year career, leading the most explosive offense in football and nabbing his (somehow) very first NFL MVP. As an old-school Rams fan from the St. Louis days, it brings me so much joy how amazing the Stafford-Goff trade has ended up for both teams. After years of pain at the QB position, the Rams have been humming for a while now, thanks to the elite play Stafford has consistently brought to the team since joining. 2025 Regular Season Recap Stafford was the engine of the Rams' #1 ranked scoring offense, with the support of fellow top-5 member Puka Nacua, another great season from Kyren Williams, and a somewhat surprisingly strong OL. Airing it out with a level of downfield aggression we haven't seen as much from Stafford in his later years, he led the league in deep passing attempts (73) and deep completions (30), lobbing 10 touchdowns on passes of 20+ yards downfield. Whenever defenses backed off to contain Puka Nacua or Davante Adams over the top, Stafford just went and gutted them in the 10-19 yard pass range, racking up a league-high 2,568 yards and 19 touchdowns there. That meant the Rams were also quite Red Zone efficient. What truly brought Stafford’s season to an MVP campaign was his unbelievable efficiency and accuracy. He threw for a career-high 46 touchdowns against just 8 interceptions, joining Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers as one of only a handful of quarterbacks in NFL history to post a 45+ TD / submitted by

Great lakes region of North America. I want the front yard to look similar this. A japanese-esque medley of evergreens and shrubs that resembles a natural setting. We might get a boulder, we might not. I'm not going to focus on that right now . I have years of experience tending to evergreens, I know how fast they grow and how to shape/not kill them. I know this is a 10 year min project. Does anybody have any books? Or recommendations. Im worried that ill just do it wrong and it will look ugly. It would be so much more simple to do a traditional style Straight line of evergreens like everyone else does but I really don't want to do that. Im currently leaning towards planting a conical arborvitae and a yew this year. I know where to source them and I know how much they cost. I just again am afraid that I'll put them in the wrong place. submitted by /u/VocationalWizard to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Hello, I am looking for a budget-friendly professional landscaping service for my home in SW Calgary area and would like to request a consultation and quote. I am interested in a low-maintenance, modern outdoor design for both my front and backyard, and would appreciate guidance on different options and price ranges. Scope of Work: Front Yard: • Low-maintenance landscaping (mulch, shrubs, decorative rock…etc options) • Clean, modern curb appeal design Backyard: • Options for artificial turf, decorative gravel/rock, or patio pavers • Simple, modern layout with seating area (if budget allows) • Low-maintenance design preferred Deck: • Scraping/removal of old stain • Surface preparation (washing/sanding) • Application of new stain or exterior paint What I am hoping to receive: • On-site consultation and design recommendations • 2–3 pricing options (budget / mid-range / premium) • Approximate cost per square foot where applicable • Timeline for completion • Any maintenance considerations My goal is to find a cost-effective solution that balances aesthetics and low maintenance, and I am open to your professional recommendations. Please let me know your availability for a site visit. Thank you submitted by /u/Moodymiddo to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I spent the last few weekends in SoCal ahead of the spring time overhauling the last untouched part of my yard - transforming it from a low quality, ugly bush and weed stricken area, to a simple but eye catching desert landscape complete with a 25 foot long dry creek, desert vegetation and colorful succulents, a small front porch redo, and a few little extras along the way. I also further modified my parkway with extra materials and more desert landscaping to better tie the different parts of my yard together across three main areas. I did 100% of the design, clearing labor, disposal of old materials, minor house work (painting, stucco patchwork, etc.), irrigation updates, the woodworking projects, and everything in between. I bought about $325 worth of desert plants, was generously gifted from a buddy about $1000 in more mature agave and aloe plants from his property, and paid about $1100 for the crushed stone (two skid steer scoops) and river rock (one ton) + delivery. Any of the big river rocks or other statement rocks were collected and sourced from my folks property in the mountains for free on my own time. I paid about $50 in other woodworking and misc drip line / irrigation materials. I really love how this turned out; while you can't really see this area that well from the streets, walking by it to our front door everyday brings a huge smile to my face, and I'm very excited for all the plants to fill in over the next few weeks, months, and years. submitted by /u/oosoccerfreak to r/DIY [link] [comments]

Hey everyone, I have a small townhouse front yard, about 6 m × 3 m (≈18 m²), and I’m curious what a fair price is to get it weeded. Just simple weeding — no major landscaping. Do people usually charge by the hour or a flat fee? What would you typically pay (or charge, if you do this professionally) for a yard this size? Thanks! submitted by /u/Abundance_of_money to r/gardening [link] [comments]

We are first time homeowners and are restoring this 1893 beauty. It was owned by the local church for 75 years and used as a rental for the last several years, so it was in much need of some TLC. • We stripped away the old shaker siding (see last photo for the “before” when we closed) and found the original clapboard underneath, however it was beyond repair so we went the route of a full replacement that honored the original clapboard style. • We are coastal Zone 7a. The front of the house is full South-facing sun. • Yes, they are replacement windows. We consulted local window restoration experts, but the originals were unfortunately beyond saving. After a long fall spent ripping out massive amounts of bittersweet, we are starting the landscaping from scratch this spring. We’re moving away from the traditional lawn and toward a #nolawns New England Native Meadow aesthetic (mockups in images 2 and 3). Our plan: • Hardscaping: Replacing the concrete with large, weathered fieldstone slabs with micro-clover or creeping thyme in the gaps. • Front Steps: Adding stone facade to the front of the stairs to match the home’s foundation. • The Vibe: We want it to look intentional and lush. Seeking advice on: New England/Coastal Natives: Given the south-facing sun and coastal air, what native plants should we consider? The Window Box: Should I go with a wrought iron material to match the railing or a simple wood material that’s either painted the same color as our trim or a stained wood? Fencing: We have a dog and want to install new fencing to keep her safe in the yard, while also providing some added privacy. Any tips on fencing that achieves this while maintaining historical authenticity? submitted by /u/shavasa_nnah to r/centuryhomes [link] [comments]

When most people think about wildfires, they picture giant walls of flames tearing through neighborhoods. But honestly? That’s not usually what destroys homes. A lot of the time, it’s little embers - tiny bits of burning debris that the wind carries for miles. They land around a house in all the wrong spots and suddenly a fire starts where you least expect it. That’s why California is zooming in on something called Zone 0. Basically, it’s the first five feet around your house, and according to CAL FIRE, this is where fires usually get started. Keeping this area safe from embers is huge. The 2026-2027 California budget is even backing this up with nearly $20 million earmarked for homeowner fire safety and Zone 0 upgrades. Sure, it’s part of a bigger wildfire resilience plan, but it really highlights a shift in thinking - prevention starts right at your doorstep, not miles out in the forest. It’s simple math: making your home tougher against fire and reducing ignition risk right around it costs way less than rebuilding after a wildfire. Practical upgrades California recommends? Ember-resistant landscaping from 0–5 feet, screened vents, noncombustible materials near your home, and tempered glass windows. Little things, big impact. This is also where companies like CitroTech (CITR) come into play. They’re working on fire-retardant treatments for homes, wood, and other structures. Their products are EPA Safer Choice certified and meet UL GREENGUARD Gold standards, which basically means they’re tested and proven. And just to give you a sense of why this matters: by late February 2026, the U.S. had already seen almost 8,000 fires and nearly 386,000 acres burned - 422% above the 10-year average. Over half the country was in drought conditions. So yeah, prevention and home hardening aren’t just buzzwords - they’re getting more attention from policymakers and insurers. If spending a little now keeps your home from catching fire later, it makes both financial and practical sense. For investors and the market, that might mean wildfire prevention tech could start turning heads. There aren’t a ton of public companies focused on structure-level defense, so those that are could see more spotlight. What do you think - will the market start paying more attention to wildfire prevention, or will everyone keep focusing on fighting fires after the fact? Not financial advice. SCNX INTC LFMD COHR HON PG AMD ACXP MRNO SDOT RENX AAPL OIO ORIS INSE TSLA SKYE GLW ADV MSLE CAMP UNF CRSP MSTR DDC UNH RKLB RFIL ARQ LIN LYV MYSE JFB ORGO GSUN PIII RDGT SNDK TBH INKT OCC SHMD KVHI SAGT BYAH TG ETN CODA JPM ORCL CGTL GOOG ALXO AVGO DAAQ INTU KITT AMST LMT NAKA CRCL OXY PN APVO TKNO VRT GGR MIMI ASTS QCOM GEV CSAI BSX PFE MGNX FWRG PANW MSN VACH SI GREE T ARTL SERV NVDA IPSC UGRO submitted by /u/OddPop9508 to r/TickerTalkByLiam [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Desperate_Earth_6763 Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell BoRUs: #1 [New Update]: My crazy neighbor poisoned my creek and stole water Editor’s note: made small edits for ease of readability Trigger Warnings: assault, harassment, bullying, theft, property damage, entitlement, controlling behavior, fraud, child abuse / abandonment, breaking and entering Mood Spoilers: rage Editor’s note: For the original post, I have put it into a summarizing TL;DR, due to its length. The full text can be found in the first BoRU linked above. RECAP / TL;DR Original Post: May 10, 2025 OOP lives in a semi-rural neighborhood with a hot spring-fed backyard hot tub and a stream running through the area, used by all neighbors for gardens and recreational purposes. OOP's neighbor, referred to as "CN" (Crazy Neighbor), is described as litigious and entitled, previously sued former homeowners and later trying to impose bizarre rules on the neighborhood, like claiming everyone should have access to each other's hot springs and that kids can play in private backyard streams. OOP has a neighbor, Jay, who has been on their side from day one. After moving in, OOP had an unpleasant encounter with CN, who tried to impose these rules on OOP's property. Despite being told no, CN's kids were caught playing in OOP's hot spring, and CN herself later hired workers to pipe hot spring water into her yard without OOP's permission. Once OOP confronted her, CN showed a questionable contract claiming OOP agreed to supply her with water, though OOP had no recollection of signing anything and planned to prove the document was forged. Things escalated when CN began dumping chemicals into the communal stream, poisoning OOP’s garden. OOP is considering legal action and gathering evidence to protect the property. They have also reached out to a lawyer for advice and are trying to figure out the next steps, including using video footage as evidence. In short: OOP's neighbor is wreaking havoc by stealing water and poisoning the stream, and OOP is looking for legal advice and ways to protect their property.   (Editor’s note: For the rest of the updates below prior to OOP’s newest ones, they are in OOP’s words as they contain important details in order to understand the context)   Test results: May 10, 2025 (four hours later) Update 1: Jay offered to use a large drum in his garage to temporarily remove the water from the stream and seeing your comments, I’m taking him up on his deal. All the neighbors down the street that I’ve talked to so far (two besides Jay) agreed. One who has two sons said that they might block off the start of the stream. It is a small outlet of a moderately sized creek. It will probably be blocked off not that hard. Jay said that he can probably get the drum in place by tonight as his dad can help. Jay also has a sweet dog and definitely wants to protect it. I am going to remove my plants from the soil nearby the stream. Also, for reference in size of the stream, it’s about 1-2 feet across. Truly just a stream. There’s lots of obstacles and things that would probably filter out, but we definitely still have to be safe. I’ll update later tonight or tomorrow. Update 2: Big news! The nice neighbors’ kids dammed up the stream at where it starts. It’s a couple pieces of wood, a branch or two, and a lot of small rocks. There’s still a tiny bit of water flowing, but it’s absorbed by the soil higher up before CN. Jay got the drum out, but we turned out not to need it. There’s water still in the pools in his backyard and we plan to do a water test. Apparently pH tests are sold in a store just 10 mins away, so I will head there as soon as I finish this post. Update 3: Jays getting the pH test and an oxygen level test, but I don’t know how oxygen levels would play into it. I’ll look at responses and figure out what to do next. I will call authorities soon. Update 4: The water test: pH came lower than the creek water before CN’s house (a full .9 lower). Nitrates a bit higher, Dissolved Oxygen significantly lower. That’s the only real changes in between the two tests. I wonder if she just poured a lot of vinegar. I think herbicides do change pH, but .9 is quite a bit I think.   Cops pick up crazy neighbor: May 11, 2025 (next day) Update 5: Big update! The makeshift dam broke and water has been flowing down, but it’s been slow. CN complained to a neighbor up the street that she’s on speaking terms with about me being a major asshole for not letting her kids use my hot spring tub. She let it slip that she poured vinegar in the stream as “justice”. The neighbor was also shown the contract for the pipes and she said that she didn’t even have it signed by me. She and her lawyer had signed it, but without any signature space for me. I thought that she forged my signature, but she didn’t have any agreement (fraudulent or otherwise) on my side whatsoever. The neighbor similarly dislikes her, but their kids are friends, so she has to talk to CN. I sent all the info to a local environmental charity that has contacts within environmental protection agencies. They usually deal with lakes and dumping, so this was in what they deal with regularly. The police were outside CN’s house a couple hours ago and took her to the station. CN is back at her house, now yelling over the fence profanities while I’m having a coffee. I don’t know if they arrested her and she payed bail or that she just was taken in for questioning or something. I know her brother in law works at the police station, but I wouldn’t doubt that her family members have a strained relationship with her. I hope that she’s stuck with a giant fine and/or jail time. CN’s lawyer still hasn’t served me regarding the pipes, and my lawyer is saying that CN has no case whatsoever. I’ll update as soon as anything interesting comes up. Update 6: My power just went out in most of my house. I think CN just flipped the breakers to annoy me. Going outside ASAP Update 7: CN indeed did flip the breakers. As far as I know, the security camera has an internal battery for some time after it’s disconnected from the power, so I don’t have to worry about her doing anything.   Revenge Tactics: May 11, 2025 (one hour later) While the government does its thing against my neighbor, I would like to do the most legal annoying thing to do. Currently, I'm thinking about removing the piping and separating the original cost. I think I will send every piece individually through a local copy/print/delivery shop. I know the owner and I think he would think it would be hilarious and agree to it. The plan (please help with it): 1) Remove the piping from the ground and separate every piece into small plastic baggies (and boxes). 2) Bring to copy/print/delivery shop 3) Plan deliveries of each package every period of time over a long time that require signage 4) Wait 5) Tip the copy/print/shop a hundred bucks What do you think? What else could I do?   The beginning of sweet revenge: May 11, 2025 (three hours later) I called the owner of the copy/print/delivery shop and he agreed to what I said in the previous post. I removed all of the pipes from my yard and put them into bags. I didn’t have as much plastic bags and boxes as I thought so I’m paying extra for the owner of the copy shop to supply them. He just delivered the first one to CN (I watched from the street) and CN’s husband answered. He shouted for CN and she came up. I didn’t hear any of the discussion, but she signed delivery sheet, took the package (of a single small corner pipe piece), and stormed into her house. She went up to the 2nd story window and proceeded to glare at me since, still glaring as I sit on my couch while writing this. Working from home will be so nice for watching this.   Crazy Neighbor's weak jabs at me: May 11, 2025 (four hours later) Since my last post, there has been one more pipe delivery to CN and she is pissed. She stormed over to my house (after signing the delivery which I thought she would stop doing) and banged on the door. I started recording my front door and opened the door (I'm not dumb enough to let her in). CN starts shrieking about how I'm awful and that I had to keep the pipes installed as it was her property and that we had a contract. When I told her that the contract wasn't legal at all, she starts screaming at me. I stepped inside for a second and called the police with the door closed. CN continues banging on my door. I don't open until a police car comes down the street. I tell the police that I don't want her ever to be on my property and that she is trespassing. They relay that to her, and she takes up a hurt old lady act (for reference, she is in her 40s). CN tells them that my hot tub burned her youngest child and that I was luring kids in. I showed the police the camera footage and they asked her to come to the station with them. I'm assuming that she made some fake report, but I guess that will be another charge of lying to a police officer. I think that the officer (not CN's brother-in-law) believed me and saw that she was in fact a CN. I saw CN get back into her house and once again went up to the top window, staring. I closed the blinds. I thought she would stop (honestly it doesn't bother me), but to my surprise, she crosses the street to the side of the hill (there’s a slope on the other side of the street from the houses. There's more houses up the slope) and stares through my front window. I don't have blinds for that one and was about to head to a different room when I see her trip backwards (there’s a small ditch for runoff) and land on her butt. CN lets out a ungodly shriek (it wasn't that loud, but I'd like to say it was) as she storms back into her house. I feel at this point, with all of the stuff from my lawyer, from reddit, and neighbors saying that I am completely in the right and that CN is insane has made this more into entertainment than a scary situation for me. I have multiple locks arriving in a couple days and a new security camera for the side yard. If you have any legal suggestions, please tell me. If there's anything I should be aware of, please tell me.   Pulling back and going forwards legally: May 12, 2025 (next day) I’ve been told that messing with CN is probably not going to help out legally, especially with a restraining order, so I just told the copy shop owner just to deliver it all at once. I don’t know if that’s happened yet, but I’m fine not being looking when I happens. I will file a restraining order today. I don’t know how it works, but I hope I can complete it today. No new news from CN except Jay saying that she looked really mad. I know this isn’t a big update, but it’s an update on the situation.   Husband comes over to talk: May 13, 2025 (next day) This happened last night and I was too tired to update after it. CN's husband (I'll call him NH for neighbor husband) knocked on my door last night, alone. CN wasn't there, so I answered it. He then tells me that CN is "going through some things right now" and some other stuff. He then asks me if I could "let sleeping dogs lie. She did some stuff wrong, but she's a really great person". I told him that I would consider it. I'm not, but I didn't want to be in that conversation. I honestly thought that he would apologize about it, but making excuses like that is so pathetic. According to many of my neighbors, CN's been like this for years. I think he's trying to cover themselves from the bomb they just planted. That's all. New updates probably coming soon.   Some resolution (but not in the way you think): May 14, 2025 (next day) I was typing this out earlier, but it didn’t save as a draft so I will paraphrase it instead of writing it all out like earlier. I went out to get my mail and I noticed CN rush out of her house onto her porch to watch me. I take the mail and head inside. Through the endless sea of junk mail, there was a wedding invitation. Nobody I know remotely nearby is getting married and I didn’t recognize the names or the faces. On the back was a handwritten letter thanking me for volunteering my house for the bachelorette party and inviting me to wedding at a local venue. 1) Definitely did NOT invite anyone to use my property for a party 2) My backyard isn’t the biggest for a party 3) I don’t know who these people are I took a picture of the front and the back and then went and made a copy of the invitation and cut it to the right size. I then took the copy and walked in front of CN’s house (in the street). She is looking from the door. I then light the copy on fire (safely). She runs out and starts yelling at me. I am not entirely listening as I had an earbud in my left ear listening to a podcast (I listen to podcasts while doing my routines and hadn’t bothered to take it out) and at one point, I heard the groom’s name. Clearly she was behind it (I knew before, this just solidified the fact). I called her husband and told him that I was not hosting the bachelorette party and to leave me alone. He asks which one. I told him the names of the bride and groom. He is audibly surprised. He then tells me that the groom is CN’s son from a teenage pregnancy (not with him). He then said that he would talk to CN about it, calling it an accident. I find the name of the dad of the groom and call him. He sounded super genuinely grateful when I told him who I was. I asked him about CN and he said that she had left the baby with him and when he had sued for child support, the judge said that it was his poor choices that led to the baby and he was responsible for it, without child support. I told him the situation, and he sounded defeated. Apparently, the groom had been quick to forgive his absent mother (CN) and had invited her against the dad’s wishes. He said that he would tell the groom and the bride about the situation. I then had a thought that would be the absolute perfect revenge: I offered to host the party for free with 2 rules 1) They don’t damage anything and clean everything up 2) CN is blocked at the door of the wedding despite her invitation 3) My invite to the wedding still stands. He said he would discuss it with the bride and groom. Even if he says no, it’s worth a try. I just realized I typed it all up in detail despite what I said at the beginning. I will probably get the news in the next couple days.   It was worth a try: May 15, 2025 (next day) Groom's dad (GD), Groom, and Bride I was looking over some comments just before posting this and realized I don't want to be screwed over, so I am staying back. Also, GD gave me a call extremely late last night and told me that Groom wanted to meet his mom (CN) at the wedding. Bride was supportive, thinking it would be an extremely wholesome wedding. GD said that he would try to find another location for the party, but that it would be hard this late as Bride had a large bridesmaids group. GD is going to help CN with preparing for the wedding at his son's request, even though he thinks it might be a disaster. My plants that are near the stream look scorched as if they were in a fire. (I'm talking about the plants that are next and around the stream, not in my garden. I think the next steps are through legal means and not through petty actions. I will keep you all updated.   Piecing parts together: May 15, 2025 (six hours later) CN had been trying to gain access to the hot spring for as long as she's known of it. She had tried lawsuits, land disputes, and other legal and legally dubious means to get it. When she heard of her son becoming married, she thought that she could have a good attempt at gaining access to the hot spring. CN had initially offered to use her house for a price for the bridesmaids party, but since it didn't have anything good for a party, Bride had declined. She couldn't find another place though, but still didn't want CN's house. CN had then had the bright idea to tell the Bride and Groom that she had had a natural, healing, and amazing hot spring in her yard and Bride said yes. This is when CN tries the whole piping the hot spring to her yard. She obviously doesn't get far into that plan. After I dismantle all the piping, she volunteers my house and backyard for the party. I think that the stream pollution was lashing out because she was mad before she volunteered my house. No updates besides what I've pieced together from assorted sources.   Revenge is back in action, without me needing to participate: May 15, 2025 (seven hours later) GD called me about 10 mins ago. I was going to post the update right away, but I was reading some of the comments. This is what he said, and asked if my offer about hosting the bridesmaids party was still standing (this is heavily paraphrased to be readable, but all the main points and events are there). GD met up with CN to talk to her about the wedding, mostly setting boundaries. He went to her house (with his phone recording just in case anything happened, knowing the history of CN). GD is talking to CN very formally, as much straight facts as possible when he glances through a cracked open door into her bedroom. I don't remember the word he used to describe it (it was a very good way to say it), but kind of out of the corner of your vision when you're avoiding eye contact. GD sees multiple white dresses laying on CN's bed. They are fancy dresses. Not quite wedding dresses, but definitely close. GD can't stop staring at it. He then asks CN about what she's wearing to the wedding, and CN says that she has a couple dresses picked out. He connects the dots and subtly leaves the conversation, calls Bride and Groom and tells them what he saw. He then gives Groom some of CN's history. Bride then asks if they can do the house with the hot spring then. GD tells me that he knows that I don't like CN and that I wouldn't be at the wedding, but that the rest of the deal would stand. I told him sure, but not to let CN know about it, just letting herself think that I got pushed around by him into hosting. I know that the agencies I contacted about her pouring vinegar into the creek have been investigating, so even though it likely wouldn't, I hope it all falls out on the day of the wedding   CN Angry: May 17, 2025 (two days later) I’ve been asked for an update. There has not been much crazy neighbor activity over the time that I haven’t updated. I think she installed a step stool on her side of the fence as she’s been looking evil eying me whenever I’m in the hot tub. The weddings coming up next weekend, so I’m interested in what’s going to happen. Not much has happened besides that.   Really funny mini-revenge: May 20, 2025 (three days later) Ok, I’ve been told to skinny dip in the hot spring. I’m not doing that. I am not socially ok enough for my neighbor to see, even if it’s to get revenge. I do know some people who are. This happened yesterday around 1, just for reference. I tell some friends who are comfortable in their own bodies that they could hang out in the hot tub and I’m not going to be there, so they could do whatever. I more asked them to do it after I gave a little bit of backstory of the neighbor. They happily agreed and they came around 1. I left for a nice long lunch when they came and I told them to call me if anything happened. I also turned off the back security camera just to not be weird. Not 30 minutes later do the COPS call me asking if I was ok with the people in my backyard. CN had called the cops for a trespassing (hypocrite) and they had arrived and talked to my friends. They had my number and they called me. I told them that I invited them over and the cops left. I didn’t get a call this time, but the police were called again for my friends “exposing themselves to children”. The police knew that they were in a private backyard, but still came and pretty much left almost immediately after (it was the same officers I think). That’s all. I don’t think I’m going to do anything until the wedding. Thank you for the astounding amounts of comments, it’s absolutely insane.   Creek modifications: May 20, 2025 (three hours later) My neighbor 2 houses down just came up to me and asked if I would allow the stream to be changed in my yard (Jay already said yes). There’s a landscaping company that’s going to be installing limestone along the creek for acid neutralization or something like that. My neighbor 2 houses down does have a garden similar to mine and I guess that’s why. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks. Not a big update. I said yes. I hope this can prevent future acid attacks   The Wedding: May 25, 2025 (five days later) I haven’t updated in a while even though some stuff is happened just so I could save it for this giant update. I am so shocked by what happened and I guess I should have listened to some advice about being safe. Also, I phrased the update about the card wrong as the bridesmaids party was last night and the wedding is today (the ceremony just finished just a couple minutes ago and I got the news of what happened by a mutual friend who went to the wedding (I didn’t know he was a mutual friend or going to the wedding. I told him about the situation a while ago and he decided to let me know). Friday: CN kept looking over the fence. I would have turned on sprinklers, but I don’t have any because I don’t really have grass in my backyard. Later in the day, a police car pulled into CN’s driveway and a bit after, it left. CN’s “revenge” of staring at me continued a lot more after that. I don’t understand why she wastes her time doing it. It doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable. Saturday: Some people knocked on my door midday asking if I could let them into the backyard to set up for the bridal party. I called GD and he said it was the right people (just to be safe). They set up some surprisingly expensive and nice decorations and furniture in the yard (not in a destructive way). People come in and out while setting up and the backyard looks amazing. CN continuously peered over the fence for a good amount of time, but I didn’t care. Around 6, Bride and all the bridesmaids (I’ll do M for bridesmaids) (also about 20 bridesmaids there). I stayed inside mostly, but they occasionally asked me to come out and they drunkenly thanked me. I think the Ms were very wealthy as I received a little over 3K in “tips” from them as I occasionally brought out a carton of ice cream. Well worth it I think. More to the events of the party. CN had a campfire in her backyard around 9, but there wasn’t really any wind, so the smoke just stayed in her yard. I think she tried to smoke us out, but maybe she was just having a little fire (I doubt it though). She then gets her hose to put out the fire and “accidentally” sprays water over the fence. Eventually, once the party winds down and they’re packing up, Bride hands a card signed by all of them thanking me for hosting with additional tips inside (about 2K). I was honestly stunned how nice they were. Around 11, a very drunk CN bangs on my front door as I’m about to go to sleep. I don’t answer, but have the video on the doorbell camera. She leaves after a bit and I go to bed. This morning: this is a secondhand account, so I won’t have all the details. CN comes to the wedding in her very white dress and demands to be let in, but the security denies her. She tries to push the security, but he isn’t fazed. People were watching, but my friend who was there had to go do something (I didn’t ask what). When he gets back, CN isn’t there. What’s happening on my side: this is my account that is right after, but before I got the news about what happened. CN bangs on my door and tries the knob. Since I was getting groceries a bit before, I had accidentally left it unlocked. She comes into my house. I call the cops as soon as I see her open my door. I run upstairs while I give the info to the cops. CN screams at me and eventually slaps me in the face. I’m screaming at her to leave and she tries to slap me again. I grab her wrist and she screams. I basically drag her out the front door right as the police arrive. She is put in the back of the cop car and the police interview me. I tell them and they leave, then I get the news. CN is not back. I honestly won’t argue with people about if this is true or not as what happened this morning doesn’t feel real even though I just lived through it.   Editor’s note: this is the last post we were left off Final Update: FAFO: June 6, 2025 This is probably the final update as I doubt any new updates will come. CN still hasn’t come back from the police station, or she’s been hiding in her house. If she hasn’t come back (which I think), I think she might have not been able to pay bail, but I have no legal knowledge really. She’s apparently facing north of 3 years in jail, but there’s a good chance she’ll get less or not at all. I grilled some food Saturday and hosted a good amount of the neighborhood. As much as I would like to say I was cool and collected after the assault, I felt a bit shaky and not great, so having some people over seemed like a good idea. I think it’s mostly worked. Last night, I went in the hot spring and it was really nice to hang out.   ----NEW UPDATES---- An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor: November 24, 2025 (5.5 months later from the previous update) An update on the creek poisoning crazy neighbor I really didn’t think I would do an update as I thought that my CN would finally stop after getting legal punishment. She so far has only with me. One of my very nice neighbors who has the kids who volunteered to help stop the creek earlier this year is well liked throughout the neighborhood. I think I’ll call her Donna because I don’t want to put her name here after someone found out what city I live in. So she often helps with babysitting kids for a couple hours for a simple IOU. It’s thanksgiving break for all the kids so lots of people are going on vacation or visiting family. CN and her husband are currently in California. You may think ‘oh where are her kids’. She left all 3 of her kids at the doorstep of Donna with an envelope that has $50 to pay for the 2 weeks that they’re at the beach. The thing is, Donna and her whole family is in the Midwest for the week visiting family for Thanksgiving. CN’s kids were out at the door for hours (presumably in the cold rain) before another neighbor noticed them and asked what they were doing. The kids said that Donna had agreed to have them until their parents got back, but obviously Donna wasn’t there. They didn’t want to call the cops as they thought it was a misunderstanding, so they brought the kids around until a newer family agreed to watch them until it was sorted out. CN isn’t responding to any attempts to reach her, and nobody wants to bring the cops into it. Donna’s pissed and said that she won’t come back to babysit them and that there was no deal ahead of time. I’m just an observer in this so far, so this is more of a neighbor update. Probably going to have another update or two. Any recommendations? Nobody in the neighborhood wants anyone with the government involved really, and it’s not really involving me, so I doubt my voice will be heard or taken seriously. I don’t know. Thanks Update: Pretty big consensus I should call CPS. I think I will but not tell anyone I did. CN is not a good person. If you want to know what the full situation is, I’d look at the old post. It’s archived so I think you can still see it. Update 2: it wasn’t me, but someone called the cops earlier and by the time I called, they said that someone was at the house already. Currently, they’re trying to contact CN and her husband, but so far no luck. Relevant Comments Commenter 1: CPS should be called... idk if you're counting that as "government" but CN abandoned her kids for 2 WEEKS! It's child abandonment, plain and simple. She needs to come get her kids and if you guys can't get her to do it, I bet CPS will. They are there for the kids and to ensure their safety. OOP: I’ve said that but the family that’s having them now think that it’s cruel to the kids and would break up the family. It’s their choice in the end I guess :/ Commenter 2: What’s cruel to the kids is thinking you bumpkins know what’s best for them and protecting a deadbeat. Kids need stability. If their parents can’t provide that then you are doing them a massive disservice by not calling cps. No “family” leaves their kids in another state without knowing their wellbeing or making sure they are safe. OOP: I know. CN is definitely not a good parent but a lot of the people in the neighborhood haven’t like directly seen stuff and I’m not really involved right now so I don’t really have a say. Calling the cops or anyone will just reflect really negatively on me because I think they just think it’s a misunderstanding right now. OOP on the said kids' ages OOP: I don’t know exactly, but probably 9,10,11? In spring the youngest was 8 and they’re very similar in age so it’s a guess Commenter 3: Did she get any jail time based on the breaking and entering she committed post wedding? OOP: Not as far as I know. A giant fine and a giant amount of community service I think. OOP on if CN got fined for pouring vinegar into the creek water? OOP: She already got fined a giant amount due to my reporting of it to a local environmentalist group and then taking it to the authorities.   Editor's note: the next latest update was rehashed in the previous update Not good update on child abandoning neighbor: November 28, 2025 (four days later) Not good update on child abandoning neighbor So yesterday, CN actually responded to a call and when asked about everything, she sent screenshots from months ago where Donna said that she could possibly babysit them for the two weeks, but she was still making plans with her family about visiting them. Donna said that it would be $2000 for the two weeks, but she wasn’t sure if she could and that she would let her know if she could do it and not to count on it. CN played it off as a big misunderstanding with Donna as the fault and pretty much everyone believed her. So the kids are staying at the newer family’s house for the remaining time in exchange for $1000 from CN. I’d say $1000 in exchange for not being arrested is a pretty good deal for CN that she does not deserve. At least the kids looked super happy spending thanksgiving with the family and were playing with their family in the yard for much of yesterday. I guess everyone forgot that the kids brought $50 instead of $2000. :/ What should I do? Relevant Comments Commenter: So is this all done? Timestamps show this discussion took place awhile ago and there was no follow up. Does CN have friends in higher up places or is CPS moving at a holiday pace? OOP: I think CPS left the situation after CN convinced everyone it was a misunderstanding. It happened yesterday and the day before, but started at the beginning of their thanksgiving break   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Hey everyone! I'm looking for advice on how to improve the landscaping on the front and side of my house. I've attached some photos so you can get a good look at what I'm working with. I'd love suggestions for: Plants or shrubs that would add color and texture Any simple design/layout ideas that boost curb appeal Low-maintenance options preferred, but I'm open to anything! Details about the property: Location/Zone: Northeast Georgia/Zone 8a Sunlight: Front is facing the sun when it rises, the side of the house is facing north so partial sun. Style preferences: My house was built in 1917 and I want it to retain the old school vibe my house has. Budget: looking to DIY everything as much as possible Appreciate any input — even rough sketches or examples are welcome. Thanks in advance! submitted by /u/FixedGear02 to r/gardening [link] [comments]

Hey everyone! I'm looking for advice on how to improve the landscaping on the front and side of my house. I've attached some photos so you can get a good look at what I'm working with. I'd love suggestions for: Plants or shrubs that would add color and texture Any simple design/layout ideas that boost curb appeal Low-maintenance options preferred, but I'm open to anything! Details about the property: Location/Zone: Northeast Georgia/Zone 8a Sunlight: Front is facing the sun when it rises, the other side of the house is facing north so partial sun. Style preferences: My house was built in 1917 and I want it to retain the old school vibe my house has. Budget: looking to DIY everything as much as possible Appreciate any input — even rough sketches or examples are welcome. Thanks in advance! submitted by /u/FixedGear02 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I bought my first house in December so am now landscaping for the first time! I want it to be simple and clean looking but still interesting. Also low maintenance for the years to come. The front of the house gets hardly any sun which is really limiting the types of plants I am able to work with. Also living in zone 5 so need some more hardy plants. The second photo is the current state of the front yard. What do we think of the mockup? Plants used in the mockup are- Boxwoods Hostas Astilbe Coral bells Fern Coleus Impatiens Are they too close together? Weird color combos? Need more shape/height variety? Please let me know your thoughts!! Thanks! submitted by /u/LifeAd9535 to r/LandscapingTips [link] [comments]

Hello, I am trying to redo my front yard and wanted to get some feedback and advice. The area is roughly 40x20ft south facing and gets full Sun for 8+ hours. Northern California Zone 9b. I will not be using landscaping fabric as seen in the second picture. The first picture is a rough proposed design I made using iScape. Low water natives is a big priority, though not every plant on the list fits this exact mold. I used calscape.org as a resource. Here is a list of plants used: French Lavender (3) Yarrow Common (6) Cedar Mulch (1) Toyon (or Crepe Myrtle) (1) Giant Wildrye (3) California Poppies (6) Yarrow Moonshine (4) Milkweed Common (4) Other than a small corner of my backyard, this is my first time trying to plan a yard/garden area from scratch. Any help or advice is greatly appreciated, from landscaping/gardening best practices to simple design or color choices. Thank you! submitted by /u/ProfessorPayne to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/spicedpumpkins Not really a cat person. HOW do I gently stop neighbor's cat from bringing me dead things? Originally posted to r/cats Thanks to u/La_Dame_Va_Se_Facher & u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU Original Post Sept 11, 2024 I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Update 1 Sept 12, 2024 In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. 1) My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day 2) My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. 3) The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. 4) I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Update 2 Sept 22, 2024 First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm brining it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they were moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was brining it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way to used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's really just super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually is "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/spicedpumpkins posting in r/cats Concluded as per OOP Update One - Short Update Two - Longish Original - 11th September 2024 Update One - 12th September 2024 Update Two - 22nd September 2024 ***Original**\* I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. Comments Prestigious-Beach190 Many cats prefer to be left alone unless they specifically ask for attention, so you've probably been the perfect friend for this cat. Bringing you dead prey demonstrates that: the cat loves you and is taking care of you by bringing you food. Stopping that will likely be difficult. The cat will probably continue to 'feed' you for as long as he or she loves you. So unless you can find a way to keep the cat off your property (or make him/her stop loving you), there's no real solution to your predicament. Elmindria You need to assert yourself as a self sufficient hunter and present it with dead things yourself. That way it knows you are capable and not going to die if it stops providing for you. It likes you but is concerned you won't survive without it's assistance. Karanosz Cats WANT us to honor their boundaries. You do just that. You show a lot of respect to it without even knowing. Petting when asks for it like when it rubs to you, you even fulfill it asking for attention. So now, it brings you tributes and gifts, to deepen this well kicked off relationship even more. It's a form of courtesy. This cat wants to be your friend and wants you to acknowledge that by accepting the offerings and giving it affection when it brings them. My cat does it too. Lizards, bugs, back long ago birds, for which I scolded her so she didn't bring me dead/dying birbs anymore. But otherwise it's better to pretend that you accept it, and getting rid of it unseen if you are willing to deepen your bond with the cat. Or scold it for it. If you want to sever the relationship, do it coldly, and harshly verbally. Do not hurt it physically. If you really don't want the cat to even interact with you anymore you can push it away with your leg when it rubs to it. I would definitely not have the heart to do that though. I would melt and praise it like a god for the random adoption(it adopting me). It's such a kind thing from such a normally selfish creature as a cat. **UPDATE 1 DAY LATER*\* In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. Comments Feline_Shenanigans I know you are frustrated but this is hilarious. Kitty has decided that you are theirs to care for. Since cat is older, it sounds like kitty might be losing their sense of smell. Or is one of those rare cats that LOVES vinegar (my furry bastard is one of those). I’m curious how the cat reacts to your wife. If they aren’t impressed it might be worth getting permission from her to borrow her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc. for a few days to see if smelling more like another human has an impact. Might also be worth asking some gardening subs for advice on how to step up your anticide. Or possibly consider accepting that the neighbourhood granny cat has decided that you aren’t eating properly and they need to feed you. O_Elbereth I had one that would roll itself into spilled pickle or olive brine and act like it was catnip. Every once in a while there's a weird one. anonny42357 I had one that was obsessed with carrots. Carrots and booze. She never met any type of booze she didn't like, except one particularly expensive (and disgusting IMHO) bottle of scotch. You had to not only keep your drinks covered, but hold the covers down, because once she realized you had alcohol, she got very pushy about it. I never let her have more than the single drop remaining at the bottom of the wine glass )because lol) , but if noobs were around, she would dunk her entire arm into their drink, even though I warned them to watch out. She lived to 16. I miss her. anonny42357 Wine from the glass is funnier when she had to reach in all the way up to her armpit to reach it. Even funnier was that she would get so into licking that sweet sweet nectar of the gods\ off her foot, that you could switch the wine glass for a wine glass of water without her noticing. If she turned around and put her foot in that and licked it only to realize it was common poor-people water, she would give you one hell of a stink eye.* Apparently my aunt got drunk and gave the cat a bit too much, and when mom cut off both the aunt any the cat, the cat got mean about it, which everyone found hilarious. \she thought it was sweet nectar. Amusingly, I don't actually like wine, and I rarely drink. I'm pretty sure that cat consumed alcohol on more occasions in her 16 years than I have in my whole 40!* \* I feel the need to shoehorn something in there about water? Like from the toilet? But electrolytes!* Maggiemayday You are The Chosen One. There is little you can do except accept the sacrificial offerings with grace and set out ant traps. Careful-Drama You could try going in the other direction - love bomb the cat. Pick it up for forced cuddles. (This is how I trained mine to stop waking me up in the night - now he cuddles with my husband who is gentle and wakes to pat him.) Chase it yelling 'here kitty kitty'. Wake it for cuddles if ever you find it sleeping. They often love the most on those who want nothing to do with them. Now of course, this can backfire. In which case, enjoy your new cat! ***UPDATE 11 DAYS LATER**\* First of all I'd like to thank everyone who gave sincere well meaning advice here as when I say I'm not a cat person, I really mean I'm not a cat person. I don't dislike cats but I've always grown up with dogs and other than bumping into the occasional cat in the periphery, I have almost no knowledge other than the basic guy off the street. There seemed to be some conflicting advice in the thread: ignore the cat, pick up the cat constantly, feed that cat, don't feed the cat, instead of vinegar try citrus, no try peppermint instead of citrus, eat in front of the cat, etc. To answer a couple of questions from the thread. Maybe the cat belonged to the previous owner of the house and has hung around. Nope. I've owned the property for over 20 years. I had the former dilapidated house demolished and over the decades slowly added the main house, 2 small guest houses, the pool house, etc. The cat literally showed up on the day the new neighbor below the hill moved in with their stuff. I simply connected the dots. Are there any poisonous plants in my landscaped yard. To my knowledge NO. I have a dog who I would take a bullet for and when I hired the landscape architect and arborist, I made sure to request nothing would be planted that would harm my dog or any of the local wildlife but at the same time I wanted to attract butterflies, hummingbirds, etc. For this same reason, despite it being a really easy solution to my ginormous ant problem, I refuse to use chemicals / pesticides in the yard. TRIAL AND ERROR...advice from the thread that worked or didn't work. CITRUS AND PEPPERMINT: First of all I wasn't going to make the same mistake again of putting on a scent that would upset my dog. The day I tried the vinegar my dog tried to avoid me all day and would only begrudgingly come to me when I insisted and called him over. The only citrus I had around was some strong citrus soap smell from one of my wife's fancy soaps she has all over the house. Tried it around the cat, nothing. Didn't deter the cat at all. I didn't try peppermint because I don't like the smell of peppermint myself. IGNORE THE CAT COMPLETELY: Impossible. The damn cat refuses to be ignored. The more I ignored it the MORE it would walk in my path, lay down exactly where I'm working in the yard, follow me constantly. EAT IN FRONT OF THE CAT BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO I FEED THE CAT: Didn't work. The cat would just stare at me and bob its head back and forth intently watching whatever I was eating then bob its eyes to my mouth and just watch me chew. Still brought me dead things. I was strong. Held my ground. I didn't feed the cat even though I'm pretty sure it was asking for a bite of whatever I was eating at the time. "LOVE BOMB" the cat, constantly pick it up. Go over the top to pay attention to it. To the people who gave this piece of "advice", if you were trying to help, then thank you. If you were trolling, then congratulations, you got me good. Not only did smothering the cat with affection and constantly picking it up not work, it backfired. HARD. The cat became obnoxiously clingy and would demand I pick it up and give scritches constantly interrupting what I'm doing. Sometimes it won't stop meowing incessantly until I do a quick pick up and scritch. Put it back down only to have it do the same thing less than an hour later. Man, I'm busy, I don't have time for this. So...upto this point basically NOTHING worked. After trying some of the thread's advice? Significantly worse. Cat still came around every day. Every day still brought me dead things. Followed me everywhere but now every now and then I gotta pick it up to rub its tummy / give it a scritch to hit the reset button so it would stop meowing at me. It incessantly follows me. There was only one single day where I didn't see the cat, or so I thought. I left really early in the morning to go pick up things I needed from home depot, drop by my local nursery to pick up their good "secret sauce" compost, basically run a bunch of errands. Came back in the afternoon and went about my chores in the yard and as the hours passed it hit me...NO CAT. Not a peep, nothing trying to trip me as I carry things with the wheelbarrow, no demands for a pick up scritch and release. NOTHING. I just shrugged my shoulders at my good fortune of finally working in peace. It was getting late and I was hungry and since I told my wife I was running errands, I guess she assumed I would pick up something to eat out and she didn't pack anything for me. Headed back to the house and as I was opening the kitchen sliding door, there sleeping in my wife's lap as she's petting it and watching tv is the god damn cat. OH HELLLLLLLL NAAAAAAAAW! My wife looked up and smiled at me then quickly frowned and asked "What's wrong?". I said, "What do you mean?" She said, when you came in your jaw dropped and you mouthed, "SON OF A BITCH". Me: "WHY would you let that cat in the house?!!!" Wife: "Why wouldn't I? Poor thing was outside rubbing up the the glass door and meowing bloody murder. It was obviously hungry and thirsty." Me: "Oh my god. You didn't feed the cat did you?" Wife: "Of course I did! You think I'm going to let a helpless animal go hungry or be thirsty at my door?" I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. All I could think about was the movie Gremlins when you were firmly warned never to feed the thing past midnight or else you're fucked. Now my wife's done it. She's fed the damn cat. I'm fucked. Me: "THIS is the little bastard that has been giving me headaches with the ants for weeks by bringing me dead things" Wife: "What are you talking about? It just showed up today." ME: HOLY.SHIT. I just realized all this time, I don't think I actually ever directly mentioned the cat to my wife. I have a few acres of land and the land is nicely landscaped and partitioned with very tall trees as to "break up the line of sight" as the landscape architect said. To give a sense of walking in a manicured forest and not knowing what is around the corners until you turn and see the different kinds of landscapes on the property. I've been working on the far end of the property and that's where the cat shows up. She never saw the cat until today. ME: "Wait a minute. That day I came in with the vinegar smell and you wouldn't let me in the house. That's because I was trying make the cat keep away from me!" EXACTLY at this point the cat woke up and saw me. Hopped off my wife's lap and started purring loud like a motor boat and rubbing hard against my legs. Wife: "That's why? Oh my god. Why didn't you ask Kevin for advice before trying something that stupid?" Kevin is our vet, I've known him, his wife and kids for years. He comes over every now and then and we play videogames in my man cave or to shoot pool while the wives are doing who knows what. ME: "It was Kevin who told me to do the vinegar!" My wife literally rolled her eyes. Wife: "I can't believe you two are doctors. (I'm a retired anesthesiologist). That was some dumb advice." Me: "I know. It didn't work at all. So I went to to an internet forum and asked for advice" My wife literally laughed in my face. Wife: "You asked complete strangers on the internet for advice? And how did that work out for you?" Me: "Not so good. Anyways I'm going to take care of this right now and take the cat back to its owners. It belongs to the new family who moved in down the hill." I gently grabbed the little bastard who was all happy and smug, hopped in the truck and rang the neighbor's doorbell. The day after they moved in my wife and I introduced ourselves and gave them a small gift card to home depot and some of my wife's really good home made brownies. Other than that, I haven't talked to them. The wife answered the door and the husband was sitting at their table in the back and waved to me. I reintroduced myself while holding their cat and told them I'm bringing it back as it's been coming over to my yard every day. I was about to follow another thread suggestion and ask them if they could please consider putting a bell and collar on their cat so it would have a hard time catching things and bringing their corpses to me when the wife said, "That's not our cat. We don't have a cat." All the air left my lungs. If I thought I was going to have an aneurysm before, now I'm sure I'm going to have a stroke as well. No.Fucking.Way.This.Isn't.Their.Cat. A million things was going through my head and number one on that list is I call bullshit. There is no fucking way. I live on a small cul de sac. I am the only house on top of the hill because I own the entire damn top. I've known all the few neighbors for years. This cat doesn't belong to any of them. This cat literally showed up on the day they moved their stuff in. I was thinking are these guys fucking evil douche bags who dumped their cat and trying to deny it? The words just plopped out of my mouth and I instantly felt like an idiot. "Are you SURE?" Wife looked a little taken aback and said, "That's not our cat." She sounded sincere and her face looked convincing. The husband came to the door and said, "Is there something wrong?" I said, "I thought this was your cat and was bringing it back to you. It showed up the day you guys moved in." The husband said, "That's not our cat. I've seen it walking around but I think it belongs to one of the neighbors." He also looked sincere. Are they just world class bullshitters? There's no way this isn't their cat. What are the odds? Their little kid who looked like she was maybe 4 years old or so came to the door and smiled at me and the cat. OK here we go. Kids don't bullshit. They are brutally fucking honest and if this is their cat, this kid is going to spill it right there and then. NOPE. The kid's all like, "A KITTY!" This kid had no idea of this cat. This cat isn't theirs. I could only think "Oh my god. fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK." I sheepishly apologized for the error and left with the little bastard. It was before 5 so I called Kevin, the vet, and told him I'm bringing the cat over to see if it has a chip. I dropped by his clinic. They scanned the cat. No chip. Kevin examined the cat and estimated it is around 7 or 8 years old. Said there is no way this is a feral street cat as this cat is "broken" and "way too used to being around people." What do you mean 'broken'? Is something wrong? Kevin's said, "NO nothing like that. I mean this." He took the cat from me and cradled it on its back. It just stared at him calmly. He put it on the table on its back and gently grabbed both hind legs and pumped them up and down and went "chugga chugga chugga chugga choo choo". The cat just looked back and blinked at him. "See? Broken." I had no idea WTF he's talking about. "Cats are wary of complete strangers. Even house cats that have been around people all their lives. Cats don't just let anyone walk up to them, pick them up. And they will never let a stranger just put them on their back exposing their vulnerable abdomen and let them reposition them like a GI Joe action figure with the Kung Fu grip like this one does." So what? So it's just really super friendly. Kevin, "You're not getting it. I've never seen a cat as chill as this cat. No one has. They don't make cats like this. This cat literally gives zero fucks. Even to its own peril. Even the techs noticed it. They were just passing this cat around, putting it in all positions, holding it, petting it. This cat didn't give a fuck. This goes way beyond being just friendly. It's broken man, but in a good way." Maybe it's just developmentally disabled? Kevin, "Nope. Not that I can tell. In fact, I think its probably above average intelligence." What makes you say that? Kevin, "It somehow wiggled its way into your life and got your dumb ass here didn't it? " But I don't like cats. Kevin, "I KNOW! It's played the long con on you." He was smiling his ass off like it was Christmas, "Like I said, smart." But I don't want a cat. Don't you know anyone who will take it? Kevin, "Absolutely. The tech already offered. She's in love with it. And the other tech wants it too. But here's the thing." What? Kevin took the cat and plopped it in my arms. It looked up at me with those big dumb eyes and started purring really loud. He took the cat back. Purring stopped. Cat just looked at him. He put the cat back in my arms. It started purring again. Kevin, "See? This cat has a major hard on for you. I'm not going to tell you what to do but my two cents it would be cruel to separate this cat from you. Look, if you really don't want the cat I can have literally a bazillion ladies in two seconds here busting down this door for this cat. At least you told me you didn't feed it." Um...I told him my wife already did and she really liked the cat. Kevin, "Oh man, you're fucked." So...I bring the cat back home. I told my wife everything. My wife has a grin ear to ear. Wife, "Ok good." She grabbed the cat and it just snuggled up to her. The little kiss ass. "There's still time to go to PetSmart and get it some things. And while we're there you can get one of those cat flappy doors for the kitchen." I told her "Hell no." This cat has already given me major headaches with ants outside. I don't want it coming in the house. I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "100 percent NO to the cat door." I crossed my arms "1,000 percent NO" She narrowed her eyes at me. Anyways...we're at PetSmart and she's looking for outfits for the cat and I'm in the pet door section... The only consolation prize is she let me name the cat. I named it what she thought was "Elby". I told her it sounds cute like Elmo and she went with it. It's actually "L.B." for little bastard. I giggle inside when I call its name. PS: "Elby" has stopped bringing me dead things since being inside most of the time. Has already destroyed my Newton's cradle I've had for years in my office, stolen one of my Chewbacca slippers which I still haven't found and I still often wake up after napping with him sleeping on my chest, ass right in my face. FML. I give up. Comments Jeldenil Kevin sounds like a great vet. I laughed out loud at his demonstration about how your new best friend is 'broken'. dutchy_chris You forgot the cat tax. translucent_steeds in 6 months his wife is going to post under r/dadswhodidnotwantpets OP note: Newton's cradle OOP forgot to pay the cat tax and updated it. Unsurprised to see the cat's color isorange. r/OneOrangeBraincell I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/attachedtothreads to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/spicedpumpkins posting in r/cats Ongoing as per OOP 1 update - Short Original - 11th September 2024 Update - 12th September 2024 ​ Not really a cat person. HOW do I gently stop neighbor's cat from bringing me dead things? ​ I've got a pretty large property and don't mind the neighbor's cat hanging out chasing mice and other things but it's constantly walking right up to me and brining me dead things when I'm outside. I don't feed the cat and barely pay any attention to it except when it rubs up against me and purrs. I'll give it a quick pat and move on to whatever I was doing, gardening, etc. Otherwise I basically ignore it. Anyways, the frequency of dead things plopped at my feet has gotten to almost every day. I don't want to be mean and scare it or anything, it's welcomed to relax or prowl the yard but it's a looooooong walk from one end of the yard to my trashcans to dispose of the things it brings and it's getting old really fast. ​ Comments ​ Prestigious-Beach190 Many cats prefer to be left alone unless they specifically ask for attention, so you've probably been the perfect friend for this cat. Bringing you dead prey demonstrates that: the cat loves you and is taking care of you by bringing you food. Stopping that will likely be difficult. The cat will probably continue to 'feed' you for as long as he or she loves you. So unless you can find a way to keep the cat off your property (or make him/her stop loving you), there's no real solution to your predicament. Dependent_Name_7952 Yah I found it hilarious to learn that cats bring you "food" because they never see you hunt so they assume you can't feed yourself. It's such a pure form of love probably-the-problem Obviously the solution is to demonstrate one's hunting prowess. No-Elderberry-86 You are playing hard to get. She will eventually bring you a cow ​ Update - 1 day later ​ In a nutshell, the neighbor's cat keeps bringing me dead things almost daily. I don't hate cats, but cats are just not my jam (sorry sub, no offense). If cats are around cool, no big deal. I'm an animal lover. I have no issues with the cat itself. It's welcomed in my yard to do as it pleases and I practically ignore it unless it goes out of its way to come up to me. I'll give it a quick pat or scritch and move on to the many things I have to do in my yard. I forgot to mention the actual issue is not that it brings me dead things, but the dead things it has brought me and I didn't find right away, attract ants. Where I'm at, ants can pop up out of nowhere in the hundreds or more if dead things are not disposed of quickly. This summer I've been at war with ants and they are such a pain to deal with especially if they're swarming the dead things left by the cat. Then lugging the dead thing waaaaay over to the trash cans is also a huge pain. I've been working hard to get the yard landscaped the way I want it. I've planted specific flowers to attract birds, butterflies, small wild life. It's gotten close to looking like a little sanctuary. It requires a ton of maintenance as I clean daily any seeds not eaten in the feeders, mowing, trimming, etc. The cat walking around in the yard is no issue for me as it seems not to bother any of the small wild life except for mice and seems to enjoy the yard vs its owner's yard for some reason. It's an older cat and I don't think it's right to spray it with a water bottle or try to scare it or be mean to it as some suggested here. That's just not an option for me. I called my vet to get their advice and he said to soak cotton balls 1:1 with food grade vinegar and water and lightly dab my wrists, neck, ankles, shoes, etc. The vet said the vinegar is totally safe for the cat but cats don't like the vinegar and will associate the scent with me and in theory should stop approaching me and will likely give up trying to give me dead things. The vet said it might be a good idea to actually lure the cat to me with a simple treat to make sure it approaches me, smell me, dislike it and leave. So one quick stop at the market for the vinegar, cotton balls, cat treats and dabbing myself all over like my vet advised and I'm good to go. ​ VOILA! PROBLEM SOLVED right? Nope. ​ My beloved dog wouldn't even come up to me the entire rest of the day My wife said I stunk and demanded I shower. I told her I still had a lot of chores outside in the yard and she said I can't step into the house until I showered. I told her I would shower after my chores. The cat showed up as usual and brought me another dead thing (partial grasshopper this time) and I did what the vet said and gave it the cat treat. It not only approached me and didn't flinch at all at my smell, but went crazy purring and rubbing up against me after I gave it the treat. Like purring so hard I could feel the reverberations when it rubbed against my pant leg. Unusually, the damn cat followed me around most of the day and kept interfering with what I was doing, pruning, sweeping, etc. Running in front of me while I'm carrying things to the wheelbarrow, zipping between my legs, laying down right where I'm about to trim. I'd gently move him and the little bastard kept coming back. I'd make sure I'd hold out my wrists for it to smell and that did jack shit. Cat didn't even care or seem to notice the vinegar smell. I did a lot of work in the yard but still had more to do so I was going to go take a quick nap on the couch and then get back to the yard but my wife wouldn't have any of it and kicked me out. She told me to go nap near the pool in the nice shaded area I had set up with lawn furniture and a hammock. Didn't want to argue with the boss so I went to the hammock. Took a nice nap only to wake up to find the fucking cat sleeping on my chest purring, ass right in my face. ​ I gently let it down on the ground so I could get back to my yard work and right there under the hammock another dead thing the cat left for me....covered in hundreds of ants. FML. I give up. ​ Comments ​ Feline_Shenanigans I know you are frustrated but this is hilarious. Kitty has decided that you are theirs to care for. Since cat is older, it sounds like kitty might be losing their sense of smell. Or is one of those rare cats that LOVES vinegar (my furry bastard is one of those). I’m curious how the cat reacts to your wife. If they aren’t impressed it might be worth getting permission from her to borrow her shampoo, body wash, deodorant, etc. for a few days to see if smelling more like another human has an impact. Might also be worth asking some gardening subs for advice on how to step up your anticide. Or possibly consider accepting that the neighbourhood granny cat has decided that you aren’t eating properly and they need to feed you. ​ lissalissa3 Neighborhood granny cat. I love this so much. ​ uly4n0v I don’t mean to make light of your issue but this is really funny. That cat actually fucking loves you. To me, that says you’re alright. My suggestion would be get a shallow box and put it somewhere in the yard that is away from your house and start putting the cats “gifts” in the box for a day. The idea being that you’re trying to train the cat to put the dead stuff in the box for you. I don’t know if you’re ever gonna lose that cat’s affections but you may be able to convince him to work with you a little. ​ batmanismywaifu That cat is bringing you gifts. Cat's usually bring their owners their kill as a gift. I'm not sure why it's bringing them to you. Unless the previous owners of your house were close with that cat. Best thing to do is keep a look out for the kill and clean it up ASAP. ​ I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [Wiki] To Angela Angus Kusumoto it was funny. Less than a year ago, her time, her job had just been to sit around in case any of the systems had problems. Then they'd started synching with Terra, the Afterlife went live, even Hell (Traumatic Incident Recovery) went live. Artificial Intelligences had woken up, complex systems had come online and integrated. Now she spent her time watching outgoing network traffic. Largely, the outgoing network traffic could only be tracked via upload/download bandwidth usage, since nobody was sure how to oversee the system itself. It didn't matter that Angela and her coworkers had spent decades working on the system, just like generations had before her for nearly 200 years. The very system they sat inside was still largely incomprehensible. However, she noticed that something was going on outside in the 'normal' universe, since the uploads to the system had radically increased and the file transfers straight to the Traumatic Life Cessation System had become the majority of the file transfers. Hell was so busy that the wait time to reach a VI was measured in weeks. She had a new system coming online. She looked up the buss numbers, then the file allocation numbers, then the core call ID's. She shook her head. The only hint she had was it had something to do with the priority library patch from TerraSol back when the system had come back online. Another mystery process. The 158th of the day. She sighed and logged it. Whatever it was, it was a fairly new process. She just hoped it wasn't anything too major. Another process popped up, then three more. She sighed, and kept logging it all. The SUDS kept its secrets. 0-0-0-0-0 "INCOMING SOURCES! MANY MANY SOURCES!" HEAVY METAL IS HERE! Captain Devlintee wished she could reach over and punch her right hand aunt in the back of the head, but instead she squeezed her hands on her command stick. Heavy metal was arriving, but she knew it was too late for her beautiful ship or her crew. "They're coming back in!" her left hand second cousin called out from tactical. "Roll ship!" Devlintee ordered. "Helm is still unresponsive!" her right hand uncle said, coughing, from where the navigational control board had exploded. There was no smoke in the vacuum, but molycircs still crackled and sparked. Captain Devlintee raised her chin, activating the ship-wide communications system. "Prepare yourself. We will be with our ancestors soon," she stated. She could see the enemy ships start firing. She felt the deck tremble beneath her feet. "We do not yield," she said softly. "For the glory of..." The Right Hand Punch exploded with all hands as the charred looking ships came in firing. 0-0-0-0-0 Admiral (Upper Decks) of the Warsteel Sharnat stared at what was left of the Hamaroosan Third Expeditionary Fleet. Less than a hundred ships. All but four of the big hulls were either expanding clouds of debris or beaten into useless junk. Of the four left, her flagship included, all four were battered. Most of her midline were gone. Sixty of her vessels were light cruiser or lighter vessels and all of those were beat up. She had to admit, the sheer weight of ships and tonnage commanded by Fleet Admiral Angus Amanda Squarejaw Gutshredder, commander of "Task Force" Reaper, made her somewhat envious. His flagship weighed almost as much as all four of her super-heavies combined. They had also pounded the black ships into expanding debris in less than an hour and taken, as far as she could tell, no casualties from any of it. The big male Terran admiral was in her holotank, staring at her with those amber glowing eyes. "I'll be leaving behind an element before moving out. Task Force Reaper will be dividing up into detachments. 19th Fleet has given me permission to stage a detachment here, at the request of the Olipnat Concordiant Grand High Admiral Sherkus," the Terran said. His formality, his stiff manner of speaking, somewhat threw Admiral Sharnat, who had to resist punching her right hand second cousin in the back, a good kidney shot, while speaking to the Terran. "Understood," she said. "We will also be leaving behind a single medical frigate and a pair of repair ships, with their attendant defenses and support ships," the Terran admiral said. "We appreciate that. My ships are badly damaged," Sharnat said. "Nothing the Black Sea Rabbit can't handle," Admiral Gutshredder said. "It has the latest Naval Class XLV creation engines and the new templates and scanners," He made a slight motion with his hand. "She can deal with your issues. Same with the Merciless Plague Doctor, she has the medical facilities you might need, including that capability of handling Hellspace exposure and masscal wounded influx." "Another thing I am thankful for," Sharnat said. "It can handle up to two and a half million patients," Admiral Gutshredder said. Sharnat kept from raising her eyebrows. "I hope that it is sufficent, but I need the heavier medical frigates to come with us," Gutshredder said. Sharnat wanted to tell him that the frigate class was smaller than a destroyer and what he was describing sounded like it belonged on one of the old Colossus hulls. "If there is anything I can assist you with, let me know, Admiral," Gutshredder said. "Dominion, out." The holotank call ended. Sharnat shivered slightly inside her vac-suit. 0-0-0-0-0 She was a tiny Hamaroosan, holding tight to warm smelling fur, the smell of warm milk in her nostrils. She couldn't see yet, her big glossy black eyes still closed as she nuzzled around. She could faintly hear a sound she identified with comfort and coziness and made little noises of her own. Everything suddenly broke into pixels that slid down her vision with a screeching atonal noise. She was reaching up to pull herself up, her knees and hocks shaking. "That's a good girl. That's mommy's good girl," she heard the Voice say. It reminded her of softness and milk and she pushed harder, the encouragement in the voice making her want to please it. She managed to stand, two hands on the gently rounded table, and gave a toothless grin. Everything smeared downward, like a chalk painting in the rain, accompanied by that same atonal sound. She ran hard, across the yard, and threw herself into the arms of her wight-hund-uncahl. The other Hamaroosan lifted her up, laughing, spinning with her, while she squealed in pleasure. Everything smeared again. She stared at her test, wracking her brain for the answers. Her anxiety was peaked and she wanted to reach forward and punch the student in front of her in the back of the head, but the desks were placed just far enough to keep the students from punching, kicking, or pinching. The test was an important one, a mid-year standing test. Doing bad on it would mean she would drop back a half year, doing well meant staying where she was, and doing too well meant she would be sent a half-year ahead. As it stood, she was in 8th year mathematics despite only being a third year. She knew the answers to the questions in the test, but she was afraid if she answered as well as she could, they'd push her ahead still futher. It made her feel like a freak. She closed her eyes, sighed, then started putting in the answers. The school supposedly had a way to tell if a student underperformed on purpose. Everything streaked away in a swirl of numbers, letters, and mathematical concepts. She was arguing with her mothers on both hands. They wanted her to go into starship piloting on the civilian side, to increase the family and clan's fortunes. She wanted to join the military, and that meant transferring to a military clan. Her accomplishments would be attributed to that clan, not her birth clan, which would become back-hand clan members. She tried to hold back tears, trying to explain that since the Mar-gite had done so much damage, shouldn't she do her part to protect what was left? It all streaked away with the atonal buzz. She stepped onto the bridge of her first command, pride filling her. She turned and looked at her new command officers, smiling despite her promise to herself she would keep professional and aloof. More streaks. Then blackness. No heartbeat, no breathing, just steady darkness. PLEASE BE PATIENT appeared in block letters in her vision. Words appeared in her vision. DEVLINTEE CLAN STARGLIDER she wasn't sure who that was. SPECIES: HAMAROOSAN TYPE 7 EYES: BLACK AGE: 34Y 9M 23D CAUSE OF DEATH: EXPLOSIVE DISMEMBERMENT - INSTANT - NO TRAUMA PROCESSING PRIORITY: LOW MODERATE - MILITARY OVERRIDE - IMMEDIATE She frowned. The words were one she knew, but they made no sense. EMOTIONAL INTERLOCKS ENGAGED INTELLECTUAL INTERLOCKS RELEASED PAGING SUPERUSER She just hung in blackness, no body, no breath, no heartbeat. Nothing. She felt a sudden yank under her breastbone and got the sensation of being pulled forward and downward and upward at the same time. The blackness shattered into fine glassy powder with the tinkling sound of a glass window exploding. She was held in the claws of a massive creature. Brown skin, red fiery eyes, horns, chains, and black leather. She could see screaming stars falling from the sky, pillars of flame rising up from chasms in the blasted and scorched landscape. "You'll do," the massive creature rumbled. She found she couldn't speak. The creature lifted her up by the back of her neck, turning her and examining her. "No significant damage to the record, core strings are holding, core personality and memories are largely intact. Didn't really have time to go trauma locked," the creature gave a low rumbling chuckle. "Guess when your combat control bridge takes a hellspace infused nCv round, you don't get much time to pontificate about the nature of death." She wanted to struggle, but her body was limp, unresponsive. The demon held her up, her muzzle in front of the creatures brutish face. The creatures breath reeked of brimstone and old scorched blood. "You're about to cause a lot of excitement, little one," it chuckled. The humor sounded malevolent to her. "Normally, you'd go through trauma processing and everything else to make sure you don't have any scars," the demon chuckled. "However, this will make my point just fine." The demon reached out with one claw and ripped a hole in midair, reality tearing with a snarl. "Have fun," the demon growled. "Try not to choke on any dicks." It shoved her through the hole. The world exploded in pain. 0-0-0-0-0 Admiral Sharnat had to admit, despite the fact that calling it a frigate was fundamentally dishonest, she was impressed by the medical 'frigate'. It was a Colossus hull, painted white with red stripes, loaded up with everything she had ever heard of and things she had not. She was staring at it in the holotank when her left hand nephew suddenly sat up. "Admiral," he said. "Go ahead," Sharnat said, staring at the 'frigate'. "Solarian Iron Dominion Chief Medical Officer of the Merciless Plague Doctor is requesting your presence aboard the medical frigate," he said. He shook his head. "He states it is vitally important and has repercussions for your people that you should witness." Sharnat frowned. "Really?" He nodded. Sharnat thought for a moment. The Captain of the vessel would probably be glad to get her out from underfoot for a while. "Alert my staff, prepare my shuttle," she said. "Let's go see what the Iron Dominion thinks is so important." 0-0-0-0-0 She took a huge gasping breath, trying to sit up, trying to reach out, trying to jump away. Her heart triphammered for a moment then settled. "Easy, easy," the voice was calm and gentle. A paw settled on her head. She could feel it. "Your motor control cortexes are offline," the voice said. "Same with your voice control and speech center. Don't want you screaming and flailing around. Your autonomic systems are still good and are responding without external stimulus." She caught her breath, realizing she could feel her body. She realized that for the first time in a long time, her right hock didn't ache from where she'd broken it grav-skiing and the pins never quite sat right. "I'm going to release some of your gross motor control," the voice said. "Mainly, blinking. You won't be able to move." She was able to open her eyes and tried to wince at how bright the lights were. "It's OK. Give your eyes a moment," there was a growling chuckle that reminded her of... something. "New eyes, who dis?" Her vision slowly unblurred, then flipped over. She was staring at glow strips on the ceiling. She looked side to side and saw only curtains. There was shuffling and someone moved into view. It was a canine on two legs wearing old style Confederate adaptive camouflage like she'd seen in the historical books from the Second Precursor War. "Welcome back," the canine said. She just blinked. "All right. Blink once for yes, twice for no," the canine said. "We'll ask a few question, then I'll release your speech cortex." She blinked once. "The big one is: are you done screaming?" She blinked once. The canine gave a smile by lifting her upper lip for a moment. The questions were variants of: "Are you going to get violent or act like a fool?" Finally, her motor cortexes and speech centers were released. She was still held to the bed by the pressor beams, but now it was gentle instead of an absence of feedback. More questions, including a series where a machine was staring into her pupil. Finally, the canine sat down. "Any questions?" the canine asked. She blinked several times. "How?" The canine shrugged. "You came through as a priority rebirth. We didn't have any killed in action, so the cloning banks and the stack were idle." "No, I mean, I was dead," she said. The canine gave a chuckle. "Yeah. Hell of a thing, isn't it?" she frowned. "First time?" "What do you mean, first time? This is the really real world. People don't come back!" she said. The canine twiddled her fingers. "Your SUDS was up to date. The Merciless had a hot-copy of your SUDS record less than a half-second before you were killed. Your standard SUDS copy was updated less than an hour before that, during the battle." "Wait, my SUDS? What's a SUDS?" she asked. The canine smiled. "Oh, just a miracle." 0-0-0-0-0 Admiral Sharnat stared at the Hamaroosan on the other side of the glass. She was laying in a bed, talking to a Terran Descent Feline. She couldn't hear the female's words or voice, but she knew one of her divisional commanders. Sharnat also knew that the Hamaroosan laying on the bed had died when her ship had exploded with all hands. Sharnat turned to the Terran, who was in a fearsome looking mask with a long beak. "How?" she asked. The Terran gave a bobbing nod. "The SUDS. Of course. Hamaroosan templates are standard and have been for thirty years Terran Standard Timekeeping. It's just a standard rebirth. Easy one. No core threading unravelling or deep consciousness strand straining. It's simple, and as she is military, she's priority, of course." Sharnat turned and stared at the Hamaroosan, the impossibility of it robbing her of thought. "Of course," she said automatically. [First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [Wiki] submitted by /u/Ralts_Bloodthorne to r/HFY [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/OddTry3520 AITAH for not letting my neighbors use my yard? Originally posted to r/AITAH Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU Original Post March 26, 2024 I (f26) recently bought a house with my husband. Our house is a beachfront house with an amazing yard. The backyard is designed to basically look like a hidden oasis. It has a pool, hot tub, water fountains on the side, and a small slide all surrounded by trees and other plants. The trees give us privacy from both houses next to us but still gives us the view of the beach. The backyard is why we bought the home and we already spend the majority of our time being back there, even when my husband works. The entire backside of the house is mostly glass so it’s also what we see when we are in the house. It is definitely the focal point of our home. ​ Yesterday, we started the construction on a new fence. This fence goes around the backyard with a gate only to the beach, so you either have to go through the house to go through the beach to get to our backyard. We didn’t think anything of it before I got a knock on my door this morning from someone who lives in the condos across the street from us. I have seen her a few times but we never really talked. She introduced herself and then asked about what we were building in our yard. I just told her that we wanted to put up a fence before tourists start coming (this was recommended to us by our realtor). ​ Marie kinda looked shocked and asked if we were putting a gate on the front or anything. I said no and that we already had a landscaper come and look to get more plants put around it. She then asked me if I could put a gate on the front. I didn’t really understand this so I asked her to clarify when she explained that the previous owners would let people from the condo walk through their yard to get to the beach because otherwise they have to walk 5 minutes down the street to get onto the beach where there are a lot of tourists (our street leads to private beach so there isn’t as many people). She said that mostly everyone in the condo started doing this over the past few years, especially people with kids (or even just letting their kids go to the beach alone). She also said that they would let people use their pool if they texted as asked. ​ I immediately told her that no one would be in my yard unless I knew them. She obviously got upset by this and then said that basically everyone in the condos would be upset by this. I told her that I understand why they want to use my yard and that it's just to pass through but I hate the idea of being in my backyard and having random people walk through. She started getting mad at me for it and saying that I am ruining a lot of people’s way of life by blocking off this path. She claimed that a lot of people let their kids during the summer go to the beach through this way and a lot of kids can’t walk to the popular spots (the beach is kinda quiet where we are). I did get annoyed and told her that I don’t really care and that I will not let people into my yard. She tried to bring up the pool but I just told her that I wasn’t going to talk about it anymore. ​ This was yesterday afternoon and I’ve already seen people standing outside the condos and pointing to my house. I even had someone run over to talk to me and ask if I was really “gating off the beach path”. I’ve talked to both my neighbors who agree with me but my friend and sister are both saying I'm in the wrong. So AITA? ​ RELEVANT COMMENTS/ADDITIONAL INFO GroundbreakingTwo201 I'm a bit confused, do these condo owners have access to this private beach? If so it's on their landowner/manager to provide that. If not, then they really have no argument regardless. Either way, easy NTA. Private property is private property, plain and simple. OOP it is not technically a private beach. there just isn't a public entrance unless they walk down the street Vandreeson NTA. If anything happens to these people on your property you are liable. Who cares what happened in the past? The previous owners aren't the owners anymore, you are. Like the saying goes your house your rules. You also don't want people littering or destroying your yard. They have to walk five minutes, oh boo hoo. Your friend and your sister don't own your property. ~ Tame_Iguana1 What exactly did your friend and sister say which would make you in the wrong ? If this ain’t bait…. OOP my sister feels like its a "rich person issue" and that they're not hurting anyone. my friend feels like anyone should have access to the beach and its rude to make parents with kids walk down during the summer Update March 27, 2024 original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1bohl1e/aitah_for_not_letting_my_neighbors_use_my_yard/ ​ I just wanted to start by thanking everyone for their suggestions! I did want to cover a few things. I do have a fence around my pool area, this is just to protect my yard. Secondly, we have indoor and outdoor cameras all around our house. Some are visible and some are hidden. We do already have a sign up that says that we are recording. The fence will also be finished by tomorrow afternoon, so it shouldn’t be too long for us to have it up. I also called our local police and they said that they did not have a right to use private property to access the beach so everything is clear for me to move forward with. The previous owners had the house for 10 years and only let people use it for the past 3 years so it’s not long enough for any legal action to force me to give up my yard (per our lawyer). ​ I called my realtor this morning and the owners called me after she talked to them and said a lot about the situation. They told me that they only used the house as a vacation home and so they did let people cross during the summer but when they were there, they put up a sign telling people to not use the path. They said that they didn’t let people do it at first but when they weren’t home people did it anyway. They also allowed certain people to use their pool only when they were in it themselves. It was never a free-for-all pool and they even put the cover on it before leaving. The previous owners did also say that it was smart to put up a fence and recommended calling the condo manager. ​ When I did call the condo manager, they asked if we could find a “middle ground” because they know that a lot of residents use my yard and kinda made it sound like they told residents that they could use this path. My neighbor thinks that they used it as a selling point because there were times where they would point towards our house specifically while people were looking at condos. Either way, my husband is having our lawyer send the condo a letter stating that no residents are allowed in our yard for any reason so that we have legal writing with them. ​ So basically people have used our yard in the past, but my husband and I aren't allowing it. I get them using it if we had it as a vacation home, but we are living in it year round so. A lot of my neighbors who live in the houses have messaged me and said that they’re really happy I'm cutting off the path, so I feel like it’s the right move. I have already put up no trespassing and no beach access signs and had permanent ones for the front of our hard and on the fences. I also am putting up a privacy fence in the front and adding trees right in front of it so it's harder for people to jump it. We are also connecting our gate right to our neighbors so that there isn't a spot on the side that they can try and squeeze through. Either way, I am going to cut off the path and I kinda don't care if they hate me for it. Thank you to everyone for your suggestions! ​ THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

My wife Sasha and I have owned a small ranch since last Spring, so we’ve now experienced all four seasons here. What follows is the story about why this place is… special. Sasha and I moved to rural Idaho about a year ago when I got what is essentially my dream job working for the county here. We found a shitty little rental in the town where the county seat is – a bustling metropolis of just about 3,500 people (the entire county has around 13,000 year-round residents). At first, we really weren’t sure how long we’d stay. It’s definitely the smallest community we’d ever lived in, and certainly a bit more “blue collar” and conservative than what we’re used to. But, over time, we really fell in love with the place. We both love to hike, camp, and ski, and I’m an avid hunter and angler, so being surrounded by beautiful mountains, canyons, forests, and trout-filled rivers to explore certainly helped us get comfy here. Sasha also had a great job that allowed her to work remotely, minus a day-trip to her firm in Jackson a couple times a month, which actually provided us with a nice reprieve from the isolation of a small mountain town. We don’t have kids (just our dog, Dash), we’re both in our early-mid 30s, we both had solid incomes for the first time, so we started thinking about buying property. The area was also developing rather quickly among the wealthy “hobby ranch” demographic as the billionaires push the millionaires out of Jackson Hole, and I qualified for a pretty amazing finance plan through the VA. That sweet mortgage, along with getting college paid for, are the only pleasant pieces of baggage I took home from six years in the Marine Corps. So we figured screw it, let’s look for some property to buy. Our realtor called us the morning our property got listed this last Spring. She knew we wanted to find a spot with 4-5 acres, and was ecstatic about the price and said it was important we tour it right away and get an offer in. We met at her office that afternoon, and on the drive out to the place she explained how it was a 40-acre ranch owned by a family trust based back east somewhere, and that no one had lived on the land in over a decade. I guess the old matriarch of the family died last year, so the trust had the house remodeled prior to selling it and all the other the assets of the trust to split amongst her kids and adult grandkids. Long story short, the sellers were motivated and it would go fast. I’ll never forget driving up the long driveway that leads from the county road to the house and seeing the property for the first time. It was breathtaking. It still is, every time I make that turn. The house sits on a little hill, surrounded by meadow and aspen trees. Spring was in full-torque, everything was treefrog green, wildflowers and birds everywhere, the land felt like it was just humming with vibrance. The house is much smaller than what we were looking for, only about 900 sq/ft – smaller than apartments we’d lived in after college. However, it did have a big ass porch, a landscaped fenced-in yard around the house with some big ol’cottonwood trees, a separate garage in decent shape, couple storage sheds, and a very old but functional hay barn with a few horse stalls. What stood out more than anything else is the fact that anywhere you looked was unbelievably beautiful. The landscape, without a doubt, is why we fell in love with it immediately. Outside the fenced-in yard there are about 25 acres of meadow with a pond and creek running in and out of it, and around 15 acres of pine forest that sit above the house, and our neighbor immediately to the east is a National Forest literally three times the size of Rhode Island. We both loved it, but Sasha was absolutely beside herself with excitement and adorably giddy. I don’t have much family, Sasha’s my entire world. I got out of the Marines and moved straight into freshman dorms at a massive state university as a maladjusted 24 year-old fresh off a combat deployment. Would not advise, marines. I repeat, would not advise. It was a fucking nightmare of emotional isolation and volcanic social anxiety. I quickly fell into a violent, whisky and blow fueled spiral of self-destruction, the kind that can only be stymied by falling in love. Meeting her brought me back, and I have no doubt, Sasha’s happiness is quite literally the only reason I’m still alive, and I’ve thought about that every day for the last decade. So, seeing her react to the property with that much excitement and happiness was all I needed. The listing price was a bit above what we wanted to spend, but we kinda just decided to go for it. With the VA loan plan, and having convinced ourselves it was a sound investment, we were pretty much set. Besides, it was still cheaper than what our friends were spending on houses in our expensive hometowns and the cities we’d lived in since, right? So, we said fuck it, let’s just do this, and we made an offer. Got an email from our realtor by 6:30am the next morning saying they’d accepted our lowball offer without any counter. We were officially under contract. A few weeks later we got the inspection and title report - no red flags - so we closed the next Friday, moved in that same night. Ate pasta off our camping stove, sitting on camping chairs on the porch, and slept on a blow-up mattress in the living room. Sasha and I were electric with excitement, and made one fantastic and entirely unrealistic plan after another for the property. Pretty sure that first day we committed to constructing ski jumps, a 10-challenge archery course, a “tiny home village” for guests, and several wine drinking patios along the creek. The next 15 days of moving and settling in and planting our gardens screamed by. Dash, our hunting dog, was in absolute heaven. He’d never come inside if he didn’t have to, and now he had a full acre of fenced in yard, with a kingdom beyond. I’ll never forget the look of wonder, excitement, and just plain old peace Sasha wore every minute of those first few weeks here. At the beginning of our third week in the place, we realized we were fast approaching the “rudeness threshold” of not going to introduce ourselves to the neighbors. There were other houses in the area, but we only had one “neighbor” on our road, a 300-acre ranch to the north, owned by a couple we’ll call Dan and Lucy, who our realtor said were real nice. We made a couple pies, hopped in the truck and went to introduce ourselves. Their driveway ran about a quarter mile from their gate, through their pastures pocked with clusters of ponderosa and fat cows, and ended at their house. It was a nice place. Looked lived-in. Stellar view of the mountains. Good vibes. Gardens were well taken care of. The house was nestled between a couple massive barns, a tractor garage, and a big workshop. As we approached the house, I saw an older lookin fella in the driveway turn to face us, then raise a hand in greeting and slowly walk over. “Y’all must be my new neighbors!” Dan had a warm smile. "Yessir, I'm Harry, and this is Sasha." Dan looked to be in his early-70’s, but still quite spry. He had a calculation and strength to his movements suggesting he had as many good years left as someone in their 50’s. His hands were like buffalo leather, and his features looked carved outta wood. An older woman came out one of the barns right then as well. She looked around the same age, and just as strong. She looked wise, like there wasn't much left "behind door number 3" that could surprise her. She introduced herself as Lucy. We introduced ourselves and exchanged the normal pleasantries. They told us how they’d owned their ranch since the early 1980s, how their three kids were all living in Boise with families of their own. They also told us how the family that built our place only visited once or twice a year mostly just to hunt, and how that family also owned a mansion in Jackson and other ranches in Montana, so they were excited to have full-time neighbors. They were very grateful for the pie, and we expressed a sincere “please call or stop by if you need anything at all,” which they offered right back. Right as it felt like an appropriate “till next time” handshake moment, Dan pointed up at me with a little smirk and said, “infantry?” – “is it that obvious?” I asked in response, looking down at myself. He slapped his knee and proclaimed “I can spot it a mile away! Army or Marines?” “I was in the Marine Corps sir, 0311.” Dan responded with “A grunt! But wait, did you say ‘was’? I thought the only way out of the Corps was dead in a pine box?” If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that one. “Yah, I guess once a marine, always a marine, so it’s said. But they told me you fine taxpayers would float the bill for my college tuition, so I jumped ship and never looked back.” Old folks always laugh at that line, Dan and Lucy included. “Ha! Very good. I was 101st, did a stint in ‘Nam in 70-71.” “I’ve heard that was one hell of a time and one hell of a place to find yourself as a paratrooper, sir.” “That it was, son. That it was… You make it over to Afghanistan or Iraq?” “I made a couple cameos in Afghanistan.” Dan responded with a grin, but it seemed forced, almost apologetic: “I’ve heard that was one hell of a place to find yourself as a marine…” “It was certainly a colorful experience, sir.” “I have no doubt.” Dan’s smile was replaced with an inquisitive look, suggesting a change in subject was coming: “Hey, you know for the last ten years the family who owned your land paid Luce & I and some of our seasonal ranch staff to take care of the place. Mostly just keeping the trees and shrubs in order, grazing down the grass before fire season, checking on the well and septic now and again, and lord knows I’ve spent lots of time there over the last decades riding and hunting. We know that land as well as anyone alive. We’d really like to share a few things with you, a few pointers when it comes to managing that land that we think are very important, maybe we can swing by soon and spend an hour or two walking around with you?” Sasha chimed in—as she often does, ever so promptly, whenever I’m given an opening to put off nonessential social calls—“That would be hugely appreciated! We’d love to pick your brains about the land! Does tomorrow evening work?” Sasha squeezed my arm. Swell, thanks babe. “Yah, tomorrow evening works great on my end, Dan & Lucy. That work for you two?” “Sure!” Lucy said “We’ll swing by around 5 or so. Thanks again for stopping by - I hope you two make a habit of it!” With that, we hopped in the truck and headed home. “Don’t even start whining about me making that plan babe, they seem so sweet. That knowledge will be hugely helpful, ok?” As usual, she was right. “I know, I know, you’re right, I’ll enjoy it. They seem like a solid neighbors.” It’s different for everyone, but interacting with other combat veterans is hit or miss for me. Sometimes I feel they’re the only people in the world I can identify with, who understand me; other times they’re the only people in the world I never want to meet again. Can’t really explain it. The next morning we woke up and decided the day would be best spent doing fencing work in the pastures. We wanted to get some sheep in the coming weeks to graze down the grass ahead of fire season, and several lengths of pasture fencing needed some serious TLC. It was a great day, just us and the dog out on the land. One of those spring days where you can just smell how close the long days and warm nights of summer are. That evening around 5pm I saw Dan & Lucy coming up the driveway in their big old F-250, so we went out to greet them. We walked around the property for an hour with Dash at our heels, as they talked all about the well pump, told us about the aquifer and its nuances when irrigating at different times of the year, recommended how to care for some of the fruit trees in the yard, showed us where the elk usually mess up the fences when they start to migrate down, showed us where the best mushrooms grow, pointed out some trees they reckoned would die within the next year or two, showed us where the creek floods in bad run-off years. That kinda shit. It struck me right away; these two had spent a lot of time getting to know the land around here. It was impressive, and humbling, seeing folks with this much connection to the natural systems around them. I wanted that. We walked back up toward the house and Lucy asked Sasha if she should show her where some wild asparagus grows in the pasture, and said they’d be back soon. Lucy linked her arm through Sasha’s, and I could see them laugh about something as they walked off. Probably one of the cutest things I’ve ever witnessed. Dan asked if we could talk on the porch for a moment, so I asked if he wanted a beer and grabbed a few before we sat down. That first sip of cold beer really hit the spot. Dan took a long slug as well, then placed his beer down, and moved his chair to face me more directly. As he settled back in, he put his elbows on his knees, linked his fingers, leaned in and looked me right in the eye. It was a bit awkward, as he was staring down as though fishing for the right words, then looked up into my eyes with a fierce intensity. “You know son, while all the things we just went over will come in handy while managing this land over the years, there are few other very important things I need to tell you about. A few things that’re hard to explain, but you must pay damn close attention to. I cannot stress that enough, these things are important, do you understand?” I couldn’t help but smirk – an anxious reaction I have in response to awkwardly-timed sincerity, I guess. But I admired Dan, so I put my beer down, met his gaze, nodded and said “sure, Dan. I’m all ears.” “What I’m about to tell you will sound… strange, alright? Maybe even frightening. But you need to take me serious son. You understand? What I’m about to tell you can, and likely will, save your life. You need to listen like I’m an NCO who’s been in-country for a year, and you’re a green assed fresh boot who just stepped off the plane.” I usually find military-themed analogy like that cheesy as hell, but I could almost taste how serious he was, so I just nodded and held his gaze. “I hear you, sir.” Dan nodded, then pulled some folded papers out of his jacket, and held them up in front of me before placing them on the side table between us. “I’ve written down what I’m about to tell you, because you and Sasha need to memorize these things. It needs to be second nature, son. There are three copies here. Lucy is giving a copy to Sasha right now, and going over these same things. Do not lose them. Copy them. Hand write them. Carve them into a god damn plank and hang it in your bedroom. Whatever it takes. Now, no questions until the end.” He folded his hands again, and began: “You need to understand that there is a spirit in this valley, and up in them mountains up there, alright? Some kind of spirit that cannot be explained. The Shoshone and Bannock Indians round these parts gave a name to it I never could remember, so I just call it ‘the spirit.’ Strange things happen around here. Strange and dangerous. The spirit has strange powers, with strange manifestations, and can be dangerous as all hell, son. It can get ravenous and feral. This spirit is not one thing, or entity, but it’s what’s behind or motivating the strange occurrences which you will, unfortunately, come to know.” Dan’s eyes narrowed. “But there are patterns in the ways the spirit presents itself. It is not a spontaneous force. It does not act on a whim. It is fairly predictable. It’s behavior, or its methods, are based on the seasons. Almost like it has earthly rules to which it must adhere. But if you anger this spirit, or cross it in some way, you will fiercely regret doing so for the very brief and terrifying remainder of your life. Do you understand me so far?” I was kind of speechless, and definitely a bit creeped out. I was partly creeped out at what Dan was saying, but mostly creeped out by the fact that my cool old mountain man neighbor who seemed so grounded was now rattling on about something like this. I sat forward and leaned out trying to catch a glimpse of Sasha and Lucy, but they were out of view. Dan sensed my anxiety and said “They’re fine boy, sittin down there by the creek.” I leaned forward and saw them sitting on a log in the meadow. “Lucy is going over this same stuff with Sasha. I need you to listen clear, alright?” I nodded, “Of course, Dan, I’ll hear you out.” “What I’ve written down on that paper is the ways in which the spirit will show itself to you. The ways the spirit will try to get to know you, try to trick you. And in response to each of those manifestations of the spirit, what you are to do in order to ward the spirit off, to keep you and your wife safe. I learned some of these methods the hard way, but most I learned from a Shoshone elder I bought my land from. You may meet him eventually, he and his family still hunt and trap around here. Now, listen close…” Dan leaned in toward me. “Like I said, the spirit manifests itself in various ways, but it’s seasonal. The way you’ll experience it now, in the springtime, is different from how you’ll experience it in the winter, understand? So we’re going to go season by season, starting with the spring, alright?” “Uhh, sure.” “The spring is the easiest, as the spirit is not that active, and what you’ve got to do to ward it off is easy. There’s only one way the spirit manifests itself, it’ll only happen once or twice, maybe three times a season at most. We just call it ‘the light.’ It only happens between sunset and sunrise: you’ll see a ball of yellow light in your pond, or in one of the little eddies of the creek running through the meadow down there. Ok? Looks like a Christmas light. It’s not that bright, but it’s bright enough, you won’t miss it or mistake if for a reflection. If you see that light, stop what you’re doing and start a fire in the fireplace. You don’t need to freak out, just make sure that you cease whatever is going on, and focus on getting a fire started. Not a big fire, not like you’re trying to heat the whole house, but start a little fire good enough to heat up some water, alright? Once the fire is going, the light will go away. If it doesn’t, fire’s too small, add another log. It will go away. Once it goes away, everything’s fine, you can let the fire die out. You do not need to look for the light every night either, alright? You only need to make a fire if you see the light naturally, as you’re walking by a window or outside after dark and glance at the pond or creek. Luce and I brought some firewood for ya, in case you don’t have any. Remember to keep some for springtime, don’t burn it all in the winter. You understand?” What in the sweet fuck, man. “I mean… yah, sure Dan, I understand what you’ve told me. Light at night, start a small fire. 10-4.” He looked at me for a solid 10 seconds, and I didn’t break the gaze. I felt pretty strongly he was fucking with me, and would continue to engage him, but wasn’t gonna give him an inch more than I had to. “Alright… now, summertime. In the summertime, the way the spirit manifests can be horribly dangerous, so listen close. But before I get into it, I need to ask you something: do you have a rifle?” “… Several.” “What caliber?” Dan asked. “Well… I’ve got a couple 22’s, couple 556’s, a 30-30, a 308, got a 30-06, a 7mm, I’ve also got-” Dan put his hands up, nodded and cut me off: “That’s plenty, that's plenty, any of those will do fine, just make sure to have one near the front door at all times, and maybe another in the garage, and always bring one with you when you’re working on the land. But as a marine, living out here in grizzly and wolf country, I trust you’d do that anyway.” I nodded. “Alright, in the summertime, the way the spirit will present itself is through what we call ‘the bear chase.’ It only happens between around 9am and 6pm, and it seems you have to be physically outside the house for this to happen, we’ve never seen it start while we were indoors. When you’re outside, you’ll first hear a man hollering in a deep voice unless you happen to be looking at the perfect spot, but when you look to the voice, you’ll see a man—butt naked, naked as the day he was born, pecker out danglin’ around and everything—come running for his life out of the trees, with a big black bear chasing him. He’ll be screaming for you to help him, begging you to save his life, and listen carefully: whatever you do, do not let that man get close to you. This fence around the house seems sufficient. Based on what I’ve seen, he can’t open gates or doors, or even climb over things more than 3 feet high, but no matter where he manifests, he’ll be coming straight at you, so if you can get inside this fence around the house, or behind one of the cattle fences in the pasture, or even behind a big log, you should be fine as long as you keep that distance, the bear will get him. However, I strongly recommend shooting this man. If you don’t, the bear will get him anyway, and watching a this man get eaten alive as he’s weeping, begging you to save him, and shitting all over himself is very unpleasant.” Dan took a sip of beer, and went on. “Do not worry about the bear, it is not a threat, so far as I can tell it can’t even make physical contact with you, the naked man is the dangerous one. Do not let him get near you or Sasha, do you hear me? He will tear you apart. It’s relatively simple, he’s not that fast a runner, and neither is the bear, it’s like a light jogging speed. Just make sure that when you hear the yelling, locate the bear chase, get some structure between you and him, and shoot him, the bear will drag him off. Is that clear?” I almost started laughing at this point, but it was so creative and Dan seemed so feverish with seriousness I, again, just nodded. “That’s all clear, sir.” “Now comes the autumn. In my opinion, this one can be the most unpleasant. We call this one ‘the scarecrow.’ It only comes around 2-3 times a season, but after dealing with it once you’ll think that’s enough for a lifetime. It can only show up at night when you’re sleeping. Somewhere within 20-30 yards of the walls of your home, you’ll wake up and find what is ultimately just a… sort of, scarecrow. It’s a person-sized burlap and canvas doll, type… thing, with a pretty realistic face stitched into the head. 5 to 6 feet tall, with old time pioneer clothing, sometimes a dress and bonnet, sometimes overalls and a straw hat. Feels like it’s full of wet straw. Things weigh probly 40-50lbs. It’ll be in a casual position, either sitting in the grass, sitting on a bench or stone wall, sitting on the steps of your porch, or leaning on a fencepost, something like that. It’s never hidden either, it’s like it wants to be found as soon as you go outside. There’s no life in em when you walk up to em. You can poke it and it’ll fall over, like it’s just fulla wet straw. But you gotta move em. See, they need to get burned. That’s the only way. They need to get burned with fire. They ain’t made of material like anything else, as once they’re properly lit and burning, they burn fast, you ain’t gotta coax the flames, they burn all the way down to dust in 30 seconds. Every time. Again, they ain’t all that heavy, but you gotta move em because if you’re within 20 yards of your home when you light em on fire… well, they wake up.” Wow, I thought, did he really just say they wake up? “They wake up and try to get their burning bodies into your home. Burning your home down seems to be what they’re dead-set on, seems that’s their mission. So, you gotta move em. And that’s where it gets… strange. They won’t really fight you, but they... kinda spasm out, and start to make noises, but only while you’re moving them to wherever you’re going to burn them. Never while they’re still. Between 5-15 seconds after you start to move the things, they’ll wake up very briefly. It’s quite startling. They’ll grab your hand, or try to stand up, or try to undo the rope you’ve got tied around em—I recommend moving em with a rope, to avoid direct contact, some of em are strong—sometimes they’ll even take a swing at ya. But those brief moments of life are only like spasms, they only last 2-3 seconds, then they go limp again. Dan leaned back in his chair. “There’s one other thing, they’re scared. I mean, they seem scared for their lives, like they know they’re going to die. In those moments they wake up, they can talk too. And cry. Weep, more like. Again, it’s a real brief moment, but they’ll get a “please don’t” or a “oh god” out during those spasms as they try to break free. Ignore it. They absolutely must be burned by sunset on the same day you find em. I recommend getting a good lasso – when you find one, lasso it, and drag it to your burn spot. That way, you don’t have to see em writhing around as you’re moving them, or get too close to em. When you drop em in the burn spot, they go lifeless again, so it’s pretty easy. They’re real flammable, all ya gotta do it throw a big match on em and they’ll cook easy. Remember, they’re only really dangerous if you try to burn em too close to the house, that’s the only way they wake up and stay woken up, and you don’t want that. Alright?” I was chuckling openly at this point, but I was still a bit creeped out by this one. Dan seemed uneasy talking about these “things,” and it was a bit contagious. I knew Sasha was gonna be disturbed by this story. Dan probed me again – “Son, did you hear all that?” – “Yah, sorry, quite an interesting thing… I, uh… yah” I rubbed my eyes, this was getting so strange my head was starting to hurt “these things can get a bit jumpy, burn em away from the house…?” Dan nodded, “that’s right.” Dan grabbed his beer and drank the rest of it in one long pull. I opened another. Dan took a deep breath and looked out over the land. “Now… there’s the winter. Last one.” He looked at me with a fierce determination in his eye, like he was either gonna stab me or kiss me. “For most people, the winter spirit manifestation is the easiest. That is to say, for most people, there is no winter manifestation of the spirit. But for you… I believe there will be. We call it ‘the ghosts.’ The frequency of this one is unpredictable, but usually only comes around once a winter. Matter a’fact, we’ve had a handful a’winters go by when it never happened at all, and only once has it happened twice in one season." Dan pulled his bandana out and wiped his forehead, then looked up at the mountains to the east. He seemed really on edge. He then turned his gaze on me. “I gotta ask you somethin personal, son… Is that alright?” I was surprised someone could pause a recitation of pure, fantastical nonsense to engage in such a common courtesy. “Sure Dan, go right ahead.” “Have you ever killed someone? I mean directly caused another’s death? Calling in air support that results in someone’s death doesn’t count.” “… Yes, I have.” “Have you killed more than one person?” “Yes.” “Were they all in Afghanistan?” “Yes.” I was getting impatient. If this cooky ol bastard wanted to trade war stories, all he had to do was ask. This fairytale bullshit seemed a ridiculous length to go to pry for morbid answers to morbid questions. “How many people have you killed?” “Well… I know for sure I’ve killed four men. Four I shot and watched die. But I don’t know the total for sure. There were a handful of others I could’ve killed. I trust you know what I mean.” Dan nodded. “Some guy takes a pot shot at our patrol from a ridge above us, a dozen of us light up his position, we find him dead, no sayin who actually killed him. Or you think you hit someone, they fall, get up and run off, could’ve just knicked him, or he could’ve gotten gut shot and bled out in a poppy field, no sayin for sure. That kinda shit just happens … I ain’t shy about this stuff Dan, but is there some particular damn reason you’re asking?” Dan replied: “Well if it’s four, you’re lucky. I thought I’d killed eight people in Vietnam, till my first winter here… Turns out I killed twelve.” What in the fuck is he about to get into now, I thought. He went on. “You see, the way the spirit manifests itself in the winter, is through people you’ve killed. They’ll show up here, on your land. Together. It’s like the spirit finds em somewhere, and lets em know the one who put em in the dirt is in a place where they can be reached. Lucy can’t see em when they show up for me, and Sasha won’t be able to see em either, but they can feel em, understand... sometimes Lucy can even hear em. Dogs can feel em around too. Here’s what happens: one day, you’ll walk out and look around your land, and you’ll see a group of men somewhere on your property. Maybe up there along the tree line, or maybe millin’ round down by the pond. It takes em a few days to work up the gumption to get close to you, they even seem frightened of you at first. But eventually, they get the sand to get closer… After a few days, they’ll get real comfortable around you. They’ll be waiting for you at the front door, and walk you to your truck. They’ll be outside the bathroom window, waiting for you to take your morning piss. You lay down to go to bed, they’ll be outside the bedroom, screamin all night long. They’re on you like stink on shit. However, it also seems they maintain some of their earthly personalities. For instance, I killed one NVA soldier early on in my deployment in 1970, I shot him through the spine and paralyzed him. After he collapsed in the mud, I went up to him, and gave him some water, and lit him a cigarette. I held his hand as he died…” Dan had a tear roll down his cheek. Christ almighty, I thought, this guy is an open book. “He respects me, I guess. He does his own thing when they all show up. Hangs back. Smiles and nods at me, and’ll even offer an apologetic shrug when the others get all worked up and start hootin n’hollerin at me. Couple years back, I’m pretty sure he even chased off a pack of wolves that had been hangin around my ranch when we had a few early February lambs. Strange as it may sound, he and I have a bit of a kinship. A respectful bond.” Dan wiped his eye. “Anyway, the longest they’ve ever stayed around for me was 26 days. Usually, it’s more like 12-15. Then, they disappear. But while they’re here, there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it. However, listen real close now son, if they get in your house, they can hurt you, and they can hurt Sasha. They want inside, badly. They get hell-bent on gettin in. There’s only one surefire way to keep em out of the house, and that’s the candles.” Dan pulled out a 6-pack of tall table candles from his jacket, and handed them to me. “Any candle will do, but get the slowest burning kind you can, like those, to be safe. See, while they’re here, you need to keep one candle for each person you’ve killed burning from last light to first light. If you’ve killed four men, that means four candles need to be burning inside your home all night long. That keeps em out. Dogs help too, glad to see you’ve got one. They seem scared of dogs, so make sure Dash sleeps inside all winter long. That’s about the thick n’thin of it. But it’s hard son… It’s hard on ya. Those days from when they arrive until they leave, well… it’ll test your sanity. And it’ll test Sasha’s too. She can’t see em, but to her, and to Lucy, it’s like havin a pack’a ghosts around. But so long as you keep em out of the house, and you can handle their presence, it’ll pass… understand?” I was visibly shaking my head in disbelief at this point, entirely unsure of how to even respond to such profound nonsense. He started to speak but I cut him off: “D-Dan, Dan, sorry man, look, you’ll have to excuse me, I’d like to check on Sash and Luce, I just want to-“ Dan returned the favor and cut me off: “Boy, I told you, Luce is telling Sasha the same things I’m tellin you. Y’all will have all the time you want to talk it over, look” Dan pointed behind me, down near the creek, where Sasha was sitting with Lucy on a log facing the house, with Dash playing around in the water nearby. I stood up and walked to the porch railing to get a look at them. They were a good distance away, but I could see Sasha looked scared. When Sasha feels scared, I feel violent. Always been that way. I could feel adrenaline surge into my hands and face. This fuckery was 100% over. I wheeled around about to light into Dan and kick him off my land, but he had closed the distance between us and was already standing no more than 10 inches from my face, with a hard look in his eye. A look I’d seen in men before, but hadn’t for a while… “Look here shit-kicker. I’m not pulling your chain, what I’m telling you is real. You have a new enemy, marine. You understand? An enemy that I’m teaching you how to fight. You can disregard everything I’m telling you, but I will not watch you two get hurt without at least trying to help you by sharing this. From one grunt to another – sit down, shut up, and listen… Please, son.” I let out a deep breath, and took another one in. What the fuck. This was so fuckin strange. Whatever, let the old man finish his shpeal. “Alright Dan, anything else?” He took a step back, put his hand on my shoulder, and leveled his gaze: “You seem like a good man, and Sasha a good woman, I want you two to stay safe here. This spirit, it’s part of living here, it ain’t all that bad once you get the hang of the routines, but it can be dangerous, you can’t let your guard down. I know any sane person wouldn’t believe this right away, but as soon as you plant roots here, as soon as you make and feel this place is your home, these things’ll start. I reckon you’ll see the light in the pond within 2-3 weeks. I need you to do what I say, alright? You do not want to test this.” I saw Dash run up into the yard, looked over and saw Sasha and Lucy walking up toward the house, arm in arm again. Dan went on, “look at me, son. I ain’t crazy, Lucy ain’t crazy, what we’re telling you is real. We have to stick together up here, alright? You will know this is all real sooner than later, I just don’t want you to learn it the hard way. You need to trust us. When that light comes for the first time, start a fire, and call us, we’ll come on over. If you don’t start the fire after seeing the light, and start to hear drums coming from that mountain, get Sasha in the truck and leave. As fast as you possibly can, you hear me?” Lucy and Sasha reached the porch. Sasha looked at me with bewilderment and disbelief in her eyes, and Lucy took her arm from Sasha’s, walked up to me, and took both my hands in hers: “I sure hope Dan wasn’t too stern in his delivery, but everything he said to you,” she looked over at Sasha “and everything I said to you, is unfortunately true. Do exactly as what is instructed, it’s all written down. Please call us. We’ll be coming by to check in regularly, if that’s alright.” It was much harder to push back against Lucy, she seemed so strong and sweet, but I wanted them gone. “That’s fine Lucy, it was nice meeting you both today, we really appreciate all the input, but Sash and I needa put our heads together for a bit, so we’ll see you guys soon.” With that, they left. Before leaving, they left a stack of firewood, some matches, and a bag full of candles next to the garage. Sasha and I sat on the porch, and ran through everything they’d told us. It seems Lucy and Dan really did tell us the same things, and it was all in the notes they’d left us as well. Sasha is a hippy. Very earthy and into eastern medicine, often smitten with the “energies” in places and things. She’s not some damn wiccan priestess or something, but she was pretty much on-board with all this shit right off the bat. I wasn’t. We’d finished a bottle of wine, and I was opening another. “Babe honestly, do they seem like they’re full on fuckin psychos? Do they seem mentally disturbed? Why on earth would they come over and tell us all of that and permanently establish themselves as nut-jobs as soon as they met their new neighbors if they didn’t feel it was important to do that?” “Sash, I don’t know, maybe they don’t want neighbors here, and are trying to scare us off. Maybe they’re part of some weird cult, rural Idaho is known for those…” Sasha shook her head. “Harry, they’re really normal people, and our realtor said they’re highly respected in the community, your boss even said he knows Dan, and spoke highly of him!” That was true. My boss was a real down to earth dude and a real viper when it came to judging character, not to mention being well-educated and having lived all over the world. I guess if Dan was a psycho cultist it would be very surprising for someone like my boss to sing his praises. And at the end of the day, I liked Dan and Lucy too… until they started their little “spirit” shpeal. “I dunno Sash… I mean, I guess we wait for this god damn springtime water light, even if it is some battery-powered LED light Dan’s gonna throw into the pond while we’re at work.” We both laughed. We agreed to leave it, I mean we weren’t gonna up and move, and if Dan and Lucy were full of shit, which they very likely were, who cares if we have crazy neighbors? We ate some leftovers and went to bed. I caught Sasha staring down at the pond every time she was near a window. The next morning I went to work, and we had a normal work week. That next Saturday we got more done around the yard and gardens, and finished hanging all our art. It really was starting to feel like home. Saturday evening rolled around and Sash had plans to go get dinner in town with some friends from Jackson who were staying with family in the area. I grilled up some steak and asparagus. After dinner, I was sitting on the floor of the porch, drinking a beer and pulling burrs out of Dash’s tail (fuckin things are a real hassle). I lifted my beer to take a slug and something caught my eye from the meadow… A yellowish ball of light. In the pond. About 3-4 feet under the water. I’d be a lying son of a bitch if I said my heart didn’t flutter, and adrenaline didn’t start to surge. I stood up and walked over to the railing. Dash looked up at me, followed my gaze, and shot up to join me in staring out over the meadow. Fuck me. Fuck me sideways. There it was. I thought about taking a picture and sending it to Sasha, but I didn’t wanna tweak her out. I then thought maybe I should try to shoot it. I had my .308 rifle with a nice scope freshly-dialed in the coat closet. It wasn’t more than 120 yards away, easy shot. Maybe I blast the fuckin thing, see what happens? Then I felt something. Something I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt like I was being watched, from the treeline above the house. I turned and looked up there. Dash felt it too. He lowered his head, and his hackles went up, and I could hear him let out a low growl. I looked back at the light. It had moved. It had moved positions by at least 8-10 feet. Will update more soon. Part II: The Lights Part III: The Bear Chase Part IV: The Scarecrows Part V: The Ghosts Arrive submitted by /u/VatoCabron to r/nosleep [link] [comments]

I thought with escaping retail two years ago mostly unscathed that I would never have to deal with a Karen. I was wrong. I'm on mobile so I apologize for the formatting and I will try my best to keep grammar mistakes to a minimum. I am so sorry for how long it turned out to be but I'm still kind of embarrassed with how I reacted so my typing is a little frantic. So for the cast you've got ME as myself, DK for Dumb Karen, WE for Walmart Employee , and FM for my Former Manager. So this week I actually get to be home for a few days. I am an over the road truck driver that runs a dedicated load every week across country and nowhere near hom. My co driver aka my dad and I pretty much run 40+ weeks out of the year and usually take a solid month off or so when we want to be home or go on vacation out of the country. Any other time it is just a day or two here and there when we can just happen to get to town. But this time we got to go home for a solid week. You know what that means? Home cooked meals! I love to cook and so to do so I needed fresh groceries. Stupid me decided to run to Walmart solo instead of the neighborhood grocery store down by my house and boy do I regret that now. I actually enjoy Walmart much to everyone's shock. I am a former employee you see, an ex cashier, that according to my former coworkers have an unshakable customer service personas that couldn't be wavered by two years of retail abuse. I actually rather liked the job being the people pleaser (masochist) that I am and I had quite a number of regulars and employees that I still like to chat with when I'm out shopping. This day I'd finished with my catching up and had moved deeply into my hunt for the ingredients I needed for a new recipe I was eager to try. I was having trouble finding a certain spice among the variety before me when it happened. The classic Karen throat clearing. Full disclosure, I have no idea how long the woman I looked up to find glaring at me had been trying to get my attention. I had on my BlueParrott headset that I usually wear when driving and at the time was using it to ironically listen to scary Walmart stories by a Youtuber while my eyes were scanning the shelves and checking the recipe list on my phone. Needless to say I hadn't been looking for human interaction at that moment. But like usual my knee jerk customer service persona (which is just me giving a polite smile and friendly eyes) kicked in and I shifted my cart away from the shelves while also muting my phone. ME: I'm sorry if I'm- DK: You shouldn't ignore a customer like that. It's so unprofessional. Honestly why do they appoint barely teenagers to management. DK scolds me a bit more ranting about management meaning experience but really I only paid attention to the first thing she said to me. My mind had wandered of looking from her to down at myself. To her credit I was dressed "nice" but not exactly what I call professional with pastel pink capris, flouncy olive green blouse and shiny metallic bronze flats. What can I say? I like dressing nice and colorful when I'm not at risk of getting diesel on my clothes. DK was a middle aged local classic pain in the behind whose sense of fashion often hurt my eyes. This one looked like she just rolled out of the trailer park wearing a camo hoodie with pink, black workout pants that probably had never seen the inside of a gym, lime green running shoes, and bottle blond hair done up in a ponytail pulled through the back of a very loved baseball cap. To complete the look she had a huge Coach purse sitting in her buggy beside her, a bag even I know cost more than her entire outfit times three. Yeah, typical Karen for where I'm from. ME: Listen I don't work here. If you need help with something though all you need to do is press that button and it will call someone for you. I gesture to a "need help? call" button located on a post about two pace behind me up the aisle. Usually I wouldn't mind helping someone who couldn't find something. I had former customers ask for my help all the time and if I wasn't busy and they were nice( or just elderly, I was a big hit with the elderly because I'm a sucker for little old ladies). So far DK wasn't any of those things and she had a perfume on that was making my nose itch so I was hoping to shoo her away. No such luck. DK scowls at my suggestion. DK: Why are you lying?! You work here. You've checked me out numerous times and I don't appreciate being lied to. The nerve! To be honest I felt this mixture of confused resignation and completely dropped my smile and sighed. I'm only as nice as I want to be. In truth I have a resting bitch face that makes me very unapproachable according to my best friends. ME: Listen...I don't work here anymore and I'm in the middle of getting my own groceries. So let's just not? Turning back to the shelf of spices I check my phone again before glancing over the selection before finally finding what I needed. Just as I move to put it in my buggy and move along with my day I get a sharp nasty pain in the side of my head. I yelped, probably louder than necessary but I was so caught off guard by the pain that I didn't care. Plus I am very tender headed. See apparently the DK was not happy with me and grabbed ahold of my headset and yanked it off my head. Unfortunately for me I have very thick very wavy hair that for some reason other people envy. Not me though and especially not when the head rest of my headset tangled in my hair from the way she tried to snatch it off and instead she ended yanking and pulling out more than a few strands of my hair. Even with such a yank she didn't manage to free if from my hair and just ended up dropping it causing the headset to tangle further in my hair and cause gravity to yank my hair mercilessly again. Most people would have stopped and apologized after realizing what they've done, not DK though. DK: Don't you dare walk away from me! How dare you speak to me that way! I don't care if you're management now or what, you still work at fucking Walmart. You're still not as important as me. Her last comment made me pause in the midst of me trying to free my hair from my headset, eyes watering, scalp throbbing. I always have hated how people looked down on people working at Walmart. Majority of the cashiers and floor associates that I knew at this store were either students or were retired professional like teachers, nurses, office workers. Most of our older staff were just part timers to have something to do. I was pissed Me: I. Don't. Work. Here. DK: Not this again. I told you- Me: I. Don't. Work. Here. I! Don't! Work! Here! I DON'T WORK HERE! I DON'T WORK HERE! I just kept repeating myself getting louder and louder until I was practically screaming at her making her back away from me. Something I had learned early on as a child was that I was the last kind of person people expected to hear yell. I don't know if it's the way I look or just a vibe I give off, I don't know, but either way I've learned to use it to my advantage to get people to back off. But the screaming also started to draw attention to us as people started coming into the aisle to see what was happening. Among the people included a Walmart employee I was familiar with even though she started after I left and my former manager. By the time they showed I had finished screaming and was now just glaring at the shell shocked and probably embarrassed DK who was red in the face. WE: What's going on here? Is someone hurt? DK points a finger at me first as I'm catching my breath and have started fiddling with my hair again trying get it untangled. DK: This girl went crazy when I tried to ask her where something is, and started screaming in my face and even swung at me! She needs to go to jail or at least be fired. By the end of her speech big crocodile tears were streaming down her face and one of the random customers who had come to watch was patting her shoulder and trying to console her. The WE and FM turn to me just as I finally get my headset free with a good clump of hair still wrapped around the head rest and look up meeting their gazes. FM: OP are you alright? What happened? Why were you screaming? What's with all the hair? FM, bless her, didn't even wait for my response (I really wasn't in the state of mind to give one as I tend to go mute when I get very very upset) as she looked from my distraught face to my hands still holding the headset and mess of hair hanging limply from it before turning back to DK who was quietly regaling some of the crowd with just how horrific I had been. FM: Excuse me, but can you tell me what happened again and also perhaps tell me why OP is holding a chunk of her hair? DK: What about her hair? I told you, she attacked me! I'm the victim here. Are you believing her over me because she is you employee? WE: That still doesn't answer her question. Did you pull out OP's hair? What kind of person does that? The crowd begins to murmur and DK obviously realizes she's losing popular opinion. In the meantime, I'm starting to calm down and rub at my scalp trying to dissipate the pain. Luckily no blood. DK: I was, I was just asking her a question and she ignored me. I pulled off her headphones to get her to listen to me. It's not my fault she doesn't brush her hair. WE: That's assault! Why would you ever put your hands on someone? And now you're telling everyone that she attacked you? What's the matter with you? FM: I think it's time we called for the sheriff's department. DK's eyes widened as she seemed to come to the realization that she might have screwed with the wrong person, but as I've said before, I can be nice when I want to. ME: I'm fine. Just make her leave me alone. I don't want to spend one of my precious nights at home with a police officer unless he's buying me dinner. This made the crowd laugh. FM: Are you sure OP? ME: No, but I have cold things to get home, a dinner to cook, and my Dad's probably wondering what's taking so long. To that FM nodded and forced DK to follow her while the crowd quickly dispersed and when back to their own shopping. WE stayed with me and we chatted while I got the last few things I needed and went to checkout. FM came up to me after I finished paying and told me she'd had the woman banned from this store. To be honest that really sucks for her because this is the only Walmart in this county and the closest Walmart I know of is over a forty minute drive from where I live. Apparently though I wasn't the first person she had harrassed here, although all the others had been actual employees, and the security feed that she reviewed clearly showed the woman trying to snatch off my headset. FM tells me that if it had been her she would have socked the woman in the mouth which is really surprising because FM was a former elementary school teacher who taught for close to forty years before retiring and taking up the management position to stay active and supplement her income. FM has the patience of a saint but says she wouldn't have hesitated to backhand DK after I explained to her what DK had said to me. We chatted some more, laughed a bit, and then I went home. I'm sorry it was so long, but I just had to get it out of my system in order to sleep tonight. I knew there were irate people in this world, but I never thought I'd meet such a self-entitled Karen in real life. TL/DR: A woman demands I help her thinking I still worked at Walmart. When I refuse she ends up pulling out some of my hair and gets banned from the store by my awesome former manager. UPDATE: I take it back! I should have had her arrested the first go around. This woman has made my nice peaceful week at home a freaking nightmare. Yes, I ran into DK again today, but this time at Lowe's. So the new cast is DK as Dumb Karen who didn't learn her lesson the first time, ME for myself, AD for my Awesome Dad (and boss), LE for Lowe's Employee that I know, and LM for Lowe's Manager who I am familiar with. So I decided to run another errand while I was home for the week. This time it was to Lowe's to pick up some mulch for AD's newly built raised flowerbeds and a few odds and ends like metal piping, spray paint, and screws for a home project I decided to start. AD is a few aisles over from me picking up the spray paint while I was looking at screws and chatting with LE for a few minutes about my cat. I own a Sphynx cat, a hairless cat, named Pan, who will go with me anywhere if I'd let him. Since Lowe's is pet friendly he usually tags along with me every trip and sits in the child seat without complaint the whole time. All of the staff here adore him and are constantly stopping me for a visit and a chat, LE being the most often to visit because her section is right next to the main entrance. After LE leaves to check her section, but not before promising to bring back some cat treats for Pan, I turn my attention back to the screws. I kid you not, mere seconds after LE leaves I hear someone growl out, "You!" I turn around wide eyed to find DK standing there behind her cart glaring at me. Let me note before this exchange that I am wearing jean shorts, a red blouse with a bandana print, flip flops, and and my hair pulled up with a scrunchie. I was the definition of nonprofessional attire and I certainly don't look like a Lowe's associate. DK: So! This is where you work! ME: Sorry? DK: Oh, you will be sorry! Where is your manager! I demand you ge t him for me now! I want you fired after what you did to me the other day! I'll admit I wasn't on my best game in this moment. It had been a long day. AD and I had spent most of it out in the yard checking on the progress of the lawn (we had laid grass seed before we went back to work at the end of May) and also shoving soil into the raised flowerbeds. I was sun tired and this woman had enough malice to knock the wind out of you sails. ME: I don't work here either lady. DK: Liar, I saw you talking with your coworker. No one talks that much with staff unless you're an employee. Now get me your manager! Now! Her comment really irritated me. By her logic I should also work at the bank, the water company, the electric company, the Dollar General, Whitt's Barbecue, the Pilot, and pretty much everywhere else that I run errands in town. Especially the places I take Pan. He's such a well behaved baby and an easement for people to approach me and strike up conversation. Plus I really do enjoy talking with people. But this woman, this woman acted like anyone working or making a living was beneath her. It disgusted me. ME: Are you deaf? I don't work here, and LE and I were just talking about my baby here. DK: Baby? Confused DK peeks around me at Pan sitting there doing his best yoga pose with back leg thrown high in the air while he cleaned his leg. DK shrieks making me step back into the shelves because damn I was not expecting that. Meanwhile Pan doesn't even acknowledge her, he's too busy cleaning and used to loud noises from living on a truck. DK: What is that hideous creature?! ME: Whoa, whoa, hang on wait a mi- DK How dare you bring that disgusting thing in a store! It's a naked rat! ME: It's my cat, you dumbass! I actually think the woman was getting ready to throw something at me and/or Pan if LE didn't appear coming up the aisle followed by AD. LE: Ma'am would you pleas calm down? OP what's going on? DK: This girl brought a disgusting creature into this store! Get me a manager! I want her fired and banned? LE: Disgusting? AD: Fired? LE: Ma'am, this is a pet friendly store and Pan Pan is a welcome guest. He may be unusual looking but he is a very good fur baby. DK: That thing is an abomination! What if children saw it! It's licking it's junk. Well that was true, Pan had moved farther south with his cleaning and was still completely oblivious to the crazy lady. While LE was defending my little Pan's honor AD nudged me to get my attention. AD: What the hell's going on with this woman? ME: Remember that stupid woman I told you about that thought I still worked at Walmart? AD: The one that pulled out you hair when she tried to snatch off your headset. ME: Uh huh. And that is when AD's eyes went from mildly annoyed to fully pissed off. I wish there was an analogy for dads like their is for moms. You know: tiger mom or momma bear. AD really deserves one, especially when he's upset on my behalf. AD has big heart and is a surrogate dad to any and all who need one, but biologically I am his only child. I am his number one priority. And DK dared to mess with me. AD: Tell LE to get her manager. He steps forward, calling for DK's attention who is still ranting about Pan (another bad move on her part because my dad refers to him as his grandbaby). ME: I am OP's boss. What exactly did she do to you? DK gets this smug grin on her face for a minute as she looks from LE to ME and then back to AD. It's then that her face twists into this stricken expression as she recounts to AD how I harrassed her in Walmart a couple of days ago and got her thrown out of the store because I was friends with management, and how I had spotted her today and started threatening her and taunting her and yelling at her to get out of the store. Geez this woman had a screw loose. I managed to mumble to LE to go fetch the manager towards the beginning of her story and LE scurried off, coming back fairly quickly with her manager in tow just as DK was demanding AD to kick me out and how she couldn't believe employees acted like this and brought ugly animals to their place of work. LM stepped up looking around at our little group slight confused, apparently LE had only told him a customer was harassing another customer and to hurry. LM: I'm the shift manager, what seems to be the problem here. AD: Yeah, sorry to bother you but this woman came up and started screaming at my daughter. She assaulted her at the Walmart on Friday and got banned from the store. Now she seems to think she can get my daughter banned from here in return so she's making up wild accusations. DK's jaw drops at my AD's calm, albeit stern explanation as she looks between me and him. I don't know how she didn't realize he was my dad. I bare a stiking resemblance to him although most people say we look the most alike when we smile and we weren't smiling right now. DK: Your daughter?! I thought you said you were her manager?! AD: No, I said I was her boss, which I am. She does not work here or at Walmart. DK: You...you! DK made a strangled sound in her throat, her face turned almost purple in shade. Whatever she wanted to say I guess words couldn't convey because suddenly she launched herself at us arms raised, fingers curled like claws ready to scratch our eyes out. AD was too quick for her though as he shoved me out of the way and side stepped her causing DK to run full force into the shelf behind us. She's lucky the lower drawers kept her from impaling herself in the eye with the hanging racks. Judging by her screams though I'm pretty sure she scratched the hell out of her arms though as she fell back onto the floor none too gently. DK began shouting assault and for help and of course for the police. She got her wish. LM radioed for security and in less then a minute two guy were hauling a screeching and cursing DK up and marching her towards the front of the store. The police were called and what should have been a thirty minute shopping trip turned into an hour and a half long ordeal of speaking with the multiple managers, giving our statements to the police, watching DK lose it on the police and have to be tasered in order to be handcuffed, and agreeing that this time yes, I wanted to press charges. They took security tapes and I gave them the name of my former manager from Walmart to contact confirming the earlier incident as well as see about getting their security tapes as well. We then finally got to pay for our stuff, LM insisting on giving us 10% off our final purchase price for all the trouble, plus he knew from working with us in the past just how much we'd spent at his store in the last year while we've been landscaping AD's new property. That made AD very happy and he's spent the last couple hours calling up his buddies and telling them about the lunatic at Low's and how he got a discount. He's a simple person to please. I wish he wouldn't have told his wife though because she got very upset and worried about us (it's her normal state) and demanded for us to leave the rest of the yard work and my project until tomorrow and to just relax for the rest of the night. We obliged her and I'm taking part of my "resting time" to write this update. I'm so shocked by this woman. I have never been spoken to by a stranger like this outside of my stint doing retail. Is this just how some people are? God I hope she gets help. She won't be finding it at Lowe's though because we were assured that DK was banned from there as well and as a side note Lowe's is also the only home improvement store in our county. The next available one is a Home Depot about a thirty minute drive up the interstate. Sucks to be her. Update: So, hello again to everyone. I know all of you have been waiting on some sort of update as to what happened to the woman after she was arrested. The quick and simple version of it is: she's in the county jail. I was contacted a few weeks ago and was informed that she plead guilty on all charges as a part of a plea deal. You see at the time of her arrest (and yes on top of her charges for harassing and assaulting me, she was also charged with resisting arrest and assault of an officer because apparently she spit in his face) she was also carrying a controlled substance (they didn't say what exactly and I didn't think to ask) and apparently she had enough of it that the charge was upped to possession with intent to sell. I'm assuming the deal was about getting her supplier but they didn't give me any details about it because it was still an ongoing case so don't quote me on that. I'll see if I can find out more later on and will keep you all apprised of the situation. Yes, I'm sorry, that is a long quick explanation, but I felt it was owed to you all who were very supportive in my last post and I was planning to wait until I found out her full sentencing before I updated everybody, but then something happened this past week. You can go read about it in my other post. submitted by /u/Road_Witch to r/IDontWorkHereLady [link] [comments]

I started renting a house about 5 years ago. I had always lived in apartments and I was excited to finally have some space and privacy. This was ruined within the first week by my asshole neighbor and he made my 4 years at that house miserable. He's in his late 40's or early 50's and despite seeming like a fully functional adult, he has never lived outside of his parents home. He spends every possible minute cleaning or admiring his truck, so he practically lives in the driveway. When he isn't bragging about some asshole move that he just pulled on someone, he is hitting on the wives and daughters of anyone on the street. I moved in during the winter and started noticing footsteps in my yard in the morning. I found out that he was walking into my yard to look in my windows and see what I was watching/playing at night. I bought a simple security system and put a few cameras up and this stopped. Then he started mowing my side yard. He would mow it the day after I did. I asked my landlord about this and was told that Mike (the creepy neighbor) considered it his property and kept arguing about the property line. It's just grass, so I let it go. If I had guests over, he would stare at them and sometimes make comments when I wasn't around to hear him. If I was in the back yard, he would have a reason to be in his back yard. If I was in the house or the front yard, he was in his driveway where he could see in my living room. If I was mowing the yard, he would get out a lawn chair and sit and watch, putting it away as soon as I was done. It came to a head when I caught him sending is dog into my front yard one morning, instead of letting it out into his fenced in back yard like he normally would. I told him to stay on his side of the property line and he said that he was going to break into my house and smash my cameras and computer. Cops were called and he got off with a warning. Last fall I told my landlord that I was going to move out. During the conversation I found out that Mike was on workers comp for an "injury" that he got at work and that he was now bragging about how he was using his workers comp checks to setup his own under-the-table landscaping business. My landlord, like most of the neighborhood, doesn't really like Mike. The landlord's son and family live across the street and Mike has hit on the wife a few times over the years and has started to trying talk to their 17 year old daughter. I waited for a day when he had his new work truck and trailer, with his name and number on the door, and I made a video of him working on his yard and carrying 50 bags of mulch and climbing ladders. I sent videos and pictures to the fraud department of the workers comp office. Today I just found out that he was found guilty of fraud, ordered to pay back every dollar, and may end up in jail. I am happily living in a new place that has a lot of land between me and the neighbors. submitted by /u/Mealwyrm to r/ProRevenge [link] [comments]