Front Porch Planter Ideas

Just had some old shrubs pulled out of this front planter bed. I want to fill the area with some zone 9b friendly shrubs/plants. I am thinking of something no bigger than Lilly of the Nile (very common in my neighborhood and does well here) against porch barrier, but looking for some varying heights and native flowering options to fill/replace this area. I’ll probably keep the stone barrier, but open to other ideas, too! The snap dragons will be pulled but thinking about keeping the fern to the right. submitted by /u/Serious-Conflict3466 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Hi everyone, looking for gardening ideas on what to do with this patch of dirt in front of my porch at my rental house. I moved in 2.5 years ago and have slowly been working on the space. This spot was maintained in the past before I lived here, but my landlord let it go, stopped mulching it, and let it get overgrown with Canada thistle and other weeds. Last summer I hand pulled all the weeds and have been continuously pulling and treating the thistle since. There's a before picture included to show how bad it had gotten lol. Now that the weeds are under control I want to do something in this space. Some details: The bush on the right is dead and has been dead the entire time I've lived here. My landlord is hands-off but is also the type of landlord that would get upset if you removed their dead shrub, so I'm inclined to leave it as-is, even though it's an eye sore. I am looking to purchase a house and move in the next 12-18 months, so I'm not looking to do anything too permanent or that would be hard to take with me. Things I've done so far include putting up a bird feeder and water bath and edging the corners with paving stones/rocks I've found around the property. My plants live in the planter box or in pots on the porch itself. This is an east-facing house that gets sunlight during the morning and part to full shade in the afternoon, so I can't grow anything that needs full sun. I'm open to container gardening, easy-to-do cheap landscaping, decorating, or anything that would make this area look nicer while I live here. I'd love to incorporate native plants or pollinator friendly species but I'm not sure how to do that in pots. No hard budget, but not looking to spend hundreds of dollars on semi-permanent landscaping in a rental house either. submitted by /u/penguinhugs to r/gardening [link] [comments]

I have a project I am thinking about. I am looking for any clues people have from similar projects :) Our front porch is open on the front (obviously) and one side. The open side puts a lot of sun on the door and front wall, especially in the afternoons, and I am thinking about putting some sort of slats along the side to cast some shade. Here is a photo of the side of the porch and a couple AI renderings of the basic idea. What I am thinking is something simple - attach vertical boards on the post and the house with notches cut to slide in either the flat or angled slats. Ideally the slats would be removable so they can be cleaned and oiled. I'd like it to match our fence and planters, which are ipe, so either ipe or something we could stain to look like it (clear cedar?) Is this a terrible idea? Any guidance for how to do this without causing trouble? submitted by /u/thockin to r/FenceBuilding [link] [comments]

I have a project I am thinking about. I am looking for any clues people have from similar projects :) Our front porch is open on the front (obviously) and one side. The open side puts a lot of sun on the door and front wall, especially in the afternoons, and I am thinking about putting some sort of slats along the side to cast some shade. Here is a photo of the side of the porch and a couple AI renderings of the basic idea. https://imgur.com/a/1ZwK3bL What I am thinking is something simple - attach vertical boards on the post and the house with notches cut to slide in either the flat or angled slats. Ideally the slats would be removable so they can be cleaned and oiled. I'd like it to match our fence and planters, which are ipe, so either ipe or something we could stain to look like it (clear cedar?) Is this a terrible idea? Any guidance for how to do this without causing trouble? submitted by /u/thockin to r/HomeImprovement [link] [comments]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how Madison could lean into its natural beauty and become an even more visually stunning, vibrant city. We already have the lakes, the trails, the neighborhoods,the bones are here. But I keep imagining what the city could look like with a few intentional upgrades that would make everyday life feel more charming, colorful, and alive. Here are some ideas I’d love to see Madison explore: More flower diversity across the city Not just prairie grasses or native-only beds.I mean actual flower variety. Roses, hydrangeas, peonies, tulips, dahlias, foxgloves, flowering trees, mixed borders, cottage‑garden pockets, European-style planters… anything beautiful. Cities like Chicago, Vancouver, and Copenhagen do this incredibly well, and it transforms the whole vibe. Cleaner, more cared-for lakes I recently learned about the autonomous lake‑skimmer boats used in China and Singapore small electric robots that collect floating debris and algae every day. They’re surprisingly affordable and would make a huge visual difference on Monona and Mendota. Daily maintenance = cleaner shorelines = a city that looks cared for. More charming residential aesthetics I’d love to see more variety and warmth in home design. Porches, shutters, brick accents, warm siding, layered landscaping, flowering trees, and intentional front‑yard gardens. Not uniformity,just more personality and beauty. More architectural ambition Madison deserves buildings with character. More brick, more detail, more creativity, more “wow” moments — especially along East Wash and near the Capitol. Other mid-sized cities have raised their design standards, and it shows. A stronger nightlife ecosystem Not just bars,but late-night cafés, dessert spots, wine bars, rooftop lounges, and walkable evening districts with lighting, music, and energy. A city this young and educated should have more places to go after 9pm. Seasonal color and streetscape upgrades • Flowering trees lining major streets • Coordinated planters in commercial districts • Better lighting (warm, not harsh white) • More benches, shade, and seating • A waterfront promenade with flowers + cafés Small touches add up fast. Let neighborhoods express themselves Imagine each area having its own vibe .cottage‑garden blocks, hydrangea alleys, colorful planters, themed flower streets, or community‑designed gardens. Not rigid rules,just more room for creativity. I’m curious what others think: What improvements big or small would make Madison feel more beautiful, vibrant, and alive to you? What would make you say, “Wow, this city really cares about how it looks and feels”? submitted by /u/Negative_Primary_797 to r/madisonwi [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Federal_Pie6404 to r/houseplants [link] [comments]

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/amme04 posting in r/AITAH and r/TwoXChromosomes and r/poor Concluded as per OOP Content Warning - abuse, attempted murder, death, stalking, attempted kidnapping, child predatory Note - there is a TLDR for all posts in the first comment 16 updates - Long Original - 30th November 2023 Update1 - 5th December 2023 Update2 - 10th December 2023 Update3 - 29th December 2023 Update4 - 2nd January 2024 Update5 - 7th January 2024 Update6 - 3rd February 2024 Update7 - 4th February 2024 Update8 - 16th February 2024 Update9 - 20th February 2024 Update10 - 28th February 2024 Update11 - 6th March 2024 Update12 - 2nd April 2024 Update13 - 23rd April 2024 Update14 - 21st May 2024 Update15 - 6th September 2024 Update16 - 13th August 2025 ​ AITAH for believing my daughter over a “grown man”? ​ I don’t know if i watch too many crime shows or if I’m just paranoid so I’ve come here to ask. Last week I made chicken gnocchi soup. When it was almost done I started helping my daughter with a school project. She got us both a bowl and a few seconds later my bf runs into the room with a bowl and tells me to eat the bowl he has. I told him it was all the same and he insisted that he wanted mine because it had more chicken. Thinking back now I don’t know how he would know that considering my daughter dished it out. My daughter took the bowl he gave me and said she would eat it. He yanked it out of hand and said “no it’s for mom”. I took the bowl and he went to the living room. I continued doing my daughter's project and told her not to eat the soup. 20ish minutes later I walked into the kitchen to pour the soups out and he was still eating his. He asked why we didn’t eat any and I said the cat got into it while we were waiting for it to cool down. He screamed “WHAT!? Was it your bowl !?! Cats can’t eat that!?”. I told him it was only a lick but he has been stressed out watching the cat like a hawk, obsessive even. His reaction was very weird. These "accidents" all happened before the soup incident over the span of 6 months. It wasn't one after another in a short period of time. Since then my emergency money has gone missing. I keep money hidden just in case. I lost my older sister because she wasn’t able to escape a dangerous situation and I literally swore on her grave I would never be in that position. After the soup incident I went to get my money and it was gone. It was hidden and I changed the location every few months. I asked my daughter if maybe she found it and that if she took it I wouldn’t be mad because I knew she couldn’t have spent it. She said no. A few hours later she tells me she forgot but the other day her and my bf got pulled over and she saw my pink wallet in his glove box. I did not tell her which wallet it was in or that it was in a wallet. I decided to ask him if he found it by accident. He asked me why I was hiding a large amount of money, “you know you could never leave me” and laughed. (He has never said anything like that before). I told him it was for my daughters Christmas. He said no he didn’t find the money but could use his credit card for gifts. I didn’t tell him about my daughter seeing my wallet in his car. Now here are a few other things that have happened in the past few months that seemed random at the time but now they don’t. I have a severe allergy to latex. One day we were about to have sex and I glanced at the mirror we have by our bed and saw the condom wrapper was a different color. I stopped him because it wasn’t latex free and he said it was a mistake and just an older one he had. We have been dating for over 2 years and he knows how serious my allergy is. My epipen that I keep in my room is missing and I didn’t realize it. I didn't realize it was missing until I was searching for my money. Another odd thing is one day he was following me down the stairs while I was carrying laundry and he kicked the back of my leg and I fell. He said he slipped but the stairs are wood and he was wearing his steel toe boots. At the time I thought it was an accident. Am I overthinking this? My anxiety has been at an all time high. Do I watch too much true crime? Here is why I think I might be the asshole. We have a good relationship. He loves my daughter like she is his. We split all shared bills and we both pull our own weight around the apartment. We don’t fight. He has never so much as raised his voice at me. We are paycheck to paycheck but bills are paid. I thought about going to my moms house for a few days and asking him when I get there when I’m safe about the money but I don’t have money to do that now. She is on a fixed income and can't help. I feel stupid for being scared. Last night I decided to check his car for my wallet and he caught me. I asked him for my money back and he tried playing dumb. I told him my daughter saw it there. He told me she was lying. I told him I never told her about the money or what wallet. He said he was a grown man and kids lie all the time. I asked him once more for my money and he said “I’m not giving you money to leave me”. I waited until he was in the shower to grab my cat and my daughter and we left. I can’t take my cat with us to a shelter and the DV shelters are full. I was able to get us a night at a cheap motel. This exact situation is why I had money saved. I did everything right and now I’m screwed. I feel like I just blew up my entire life. Yes I'm using a burner account and reading all the comments that I can. Update 1- 5 days later My post got alot of attention and my account was shadowbanned for a few days. I was able to appeal and get my account back because I’m not a bot or some AI. Now for the update. The day after we left he sent me a picture of my epi pen and tried telling me it was in my nightstand the whole time. I tore that room apart looking for it so I KNOW for 100% fact it wasn’t there. He took it. He tried getting me to come back telling me I scared myself stupid and watched too many true crime TV. Something didn't feel right so I told him to put my money and epi pen in the mailbox. We went back and forth and he denied having my money. He then said “If we broke up you and Maria (my daughter) are no longer allowed in my apartment and will be treated like trespassers” and sent me a pic of his target practice sheets. I went to the police about the money and was told it was a civil issue. I was upset but wanted the rest of my stuff so I asked for an escort. Yesterday I finally got an escort into the apartment with a cop and my landlord. He destroyed everything of my daughters and he ruined the laptop charger I use for work. No epi pen. My daughters medication and back up medical supplies were ruined. Our landlord let me off the lease without having to pay an early termination fee which is great considering I have no money. Motels are expensive. I don’t want to get rid of our cat. All shelters are full and this is scary as shit. I’m sorry this is a shitty update but I know people wanted it. Update 2 - 5 days later On Saturday December 9th I went back AGAIN. This time I printed out the threatening text messages that included the target practice sheets he sent, I explained in detail about the “accidents” proving he was trying to hurt me, and I even had my landlord put in writing that he believed our lives were in danger after seeing everything I was showing the police and let me leave my lease early. I brought in the destroyed medical supplies and medications. The police said they had already talked to him and said he didn’t do any of it. He told them my daughter probably destroyed her stuff because she is “special ed”. She has very mild Asperger's but doesn’t destroy things! Since it was his word against mine they believed him. I didn’t have proof he stole the money or that it even existed in the first place. I was told the epi pen was my responsibility and they won’t do anything if it’s lost. I was told to “let it go” and acted like I was bothering the police with my “petty civil issues”. I am so defeated and angry. My daughter isn’t going to have gifts for Christmas because I have to save for a new deposit on an apartment. We have been staying in motels while I was reaching out to DV resources. I can’t get help without a restraining order/ police report. Every place is out of funds. He is getting away with everything and I’m so glad we got out because there is no doubt in my mind he would have gotten away with my murder. I know this sounds like my last update but that is what happened…nothing new. No justice. No repercussions for him. He gets to stay in the apartment. My landlord offered me another unit across town but I can’t afford to move in. This exact situation is why I had money stashed away because no one has ever cared about me/us and I knew that. There is nothing else I can do. Editor's note: OOP posted in another sub with the exact same information as above and no new update. However, she did add this clarification about shelters: "All shelters are full. I found an organization who helps DV victims with housing but only if you have a police report and a restraining order. I guess they are tired of victims going back to their partner, safety reasons, or something. I was denied a restraining order because I had no proof. I’m scared, exhausted, and disappointed." Update 3 - 18 days later I thought we were safe Alot of people wanted a update so here it is. On Christmas he slashed my tires knowing I would have to pay out of pocket to replace them which I don’t have. Today he threw a heavy patio chair through the window of the place we were staying at to let me know he knew where we were and I was asked to leave for everyone's safety. Except my daughter and I aren’t safe. I walked in the sleet/snow with my daughter and our cat and I felt vulnerable and like open prey so we came back to the police station to sit in the lobby until morning. Shelters are still full and I now have to disclose that he is dangerous anywhere we go. Police couldn’t find him but I know he has to be close. I don’t know what his end game is. Update 4- 4 days later I found the air tag in the cat carrier Please read my other posts for more context but a tl:dr; I’m pretty sure my ex was/is trying to kill me. There were a few instances that I wrote off as “accidents'' until I think he poisoned my soup that was specifically for me. On Christmas he found where we were staying and slashed my tires and threw a heavy patio chair and planter through a window. He still hasn’t been caught. I checked everywhere I could think of and still couldn't figure out how he was tracking us. I blocked him on everything including email after he sent me pics of his target practice sheets among other things. I got a cheap burner phone. My daughter was out of school for winter break so he didn’t follow her or anything. I checked my car for a tracker. Still nothing. I do not have an iphone so I couldn’t check whatever app a air tag is attached to. My cat is harness trained and wears a collar but there was no tracker. Until today I decided to “feel up” (sorry only way I can describe it) the carrier. I ran my fingers over every inch of it and felt a bump on the bottom soft side. There was no new stitching or obvious cut. He had to use a seam ripper along the stitching. It was undetectable and I almost missed it. He had to have had help because I’ve never seen him sew anything. Probably the same person who is letting him hide now. If his excuse for the air tag was to track my cat he would have put it on his collar or harness because that is what he would wear when we go on walks/car rides. My cat would never go in his carrier unless I was planning on leaving for more than a few days. I have no idea how long it has been there nor do I know how far the tracker works but now we aren’t safe where we are, AGAIN. I feel disgusting and I feel like hunted prey. This is so unnerving and I’m so uncomfortable. Who the f*ck was I living with? Update 5 - 5 days later I finally got the restraining order! I’m hoping this update will make everyone as happy as it makes me! I was finally granted the restraining order. And we get the keys to our new apartment on the 11th. A place I can afford monthly and comes partially furnished. It’s in a super safe area right by my daughter's school. There is security!! We will spend our time living in our car until then and of course it has to be snowing but we are together and we have our kitty. This nightmare is almost over. Update 6 - 1 month later A restraining order didn't stop him This morning he found me. I've been sick as hell so after I dropped my daughter off at school I went straight home. I didn't drive around to make sure no one was following me. I messed up. He broke my nose and shattered my orbital bone. He is in jail. Sorry for this update ya'll. Update 7 - 2 days later Not being able to move even if my life depends on it I know the importance of having money saved and I live within my means. How many of us is one disaster away from losing everything? A fire, job loss, a bank screw up, a late paycheck, illness, or someone stealing from you. I had money saved because I knew that any one of those things could happen and I wouldn't have anyone who could help me. And it did. Two months ago my ex tried poisoning me and stole the money I had saved. It’s been hell since. I was able to break my lease and leave. I went to my moms over Christmas break but I came back because I didn’t want to disrupt my daughters schooling and I underestimated my ex. I was able to get an apartment through DV services very quickly which was a miracle. I know how hard it is to find housing and then try to come up with all the deposits a new place needs. I did it, the cards fell in my favor. But then I fucked up. On Friday I took my daughter to school and wasn’t diligent. I will usually drive around to make sure I’m not being followed. To be honest I started feeling crazy, paranoid, and angry I was wasting gas. Plus I have pneumonia and strep that I haven’t been able to pay for the antibiotics so I just went home to my bed. He found me and broke my nose, shattered my orbital bone, and I have a concussion. I had a restraining order and he was arrested. I shared this on another sub and everyone telling me to move, leave, RUN. Except I can’t do that. It’s hard trying to explain that to people for them to understand because it sounds like excuses, like I like living in fear or something. I can’t pull money out of thin air. My credit card is maxed. I contacted DV services at the hospital and because I just got help, I can’t get it again. The thing I didn’t know about abusive men is that they don’t just move on or stop. There are DV shelters but they are full. I wish people would understand that I know how serious this is but money doesn’t grow on trees. Even if a life depends on it. Update 8 - 11 days later He was with me to get to my daughter It all makes sense now. If you need more context please read my past posts. In my first post I said how we had a normal relationship and he was never abusive, controlling, never raised his voice. The money that he ended up stealing was money I had hidden since before he even moved in. I was not hiding money to get away from him. I was not afraid of him. I lost my sister to DV and swore I’d never have that happen to me only to end up in that exact situation. We didn’t have this spectacular love that was filled with insane chemistry, nowhere near a “love of my life” situation which is why I was so confused by how desperate he got. After he got arrested his mom went on a social media rant because I “got her baby locked up” and knew we were sleeping in my car so was telling her followers that if they find me to call her. Very bold and insane. One of my exes friends saw this and commented “Idk if you should be sticking up for him, he needs serious help”. I don’t know how I caught it before it was deleted but I reached out to him on my fake facebook. Every time they were drinking he would talk about her and then laugh it off. It made his friends uncomfortable but they chalked it up to the booze. Two weeks ago when my daughter came to see me in the hospital she was distraught. It made sense because I looked like hell but she kept repeating over and over asking me why he did this to me. I think there was more to this and I’m frightened to my core. Remember he stole my epi pen and money but he destroyed almost everything of hers and I didn't understand it because she had nothing to do with the breakup. Why did he destroy her medicine? Why did he destroy her clothes? Fucking why? Dont abusers threaten their victim into not saying anything or something is going to happen to someone/something they love? I’m sick to my stomach even writing that out. I don’t know where to go from here, how do I even begin a conversation about this with her? We are safe. I’m not worried about him finding us because he is still in jail which is great because I’m out of money. He wasn’t desperate and crazy because he was losing me, I think it was because of her. Update 9 - 5 days later My ex is getting bailed out tomorrow I'm so angry and scared. I wish I had faith in the justice system and with cops because they are supposed to protect, right? Except that isn't always the case. I'm tired of being hurt and I'm tired of being scared. Anxiety is on 100. It's exhausting fearing my daughter and I's life. Update 10 - 8 days later How can I feel safer at home? I know a lot of people are following my posts and will be disappointed in hearing that my ex was bailed out. I’m still healing from when he broke my nose and shattered my orbital bone. I know a restraining order is just a piece of paper because he ignored it when I was attacked and the police aren’t going to save me. For security I only have a door bar that slides under the knob. I don’t have a ring camera and I can’t buy a pew pew until I have extra funds. He made me sell it a year ago because he was “uncomfortable” with it being in the house. Another red flag I missed. My question is what can I do to feel safer that doesn’t require money? Every night my daughter and I push the couch in front of the door but I’m worried that if there is a fire we can’t get out. I have myself worried sick to the point of painful stomach ulcers. I tried talking to my nearest neighbor but when I started explaining my situation and how it would be great if she could let me know if she sees anyone around my apartment she got weirded out. Which I get. Just looking for some peace of mind, will that ever exist in my life again? Update 11 - 1 week later AITAH or was this just a mistake? I know this is all I post about and if you want more context you can read my past posts. I feel like I need to tell someone what is happening so that it makes it feel real and that I’m not just upset and crazy for nothing. My ex got out on bail last week. My daughter and I already left the new apartment we had moved into after he attacked me. My daughter's school knows about my situation and knows I have a restraining order. Today my daughter got a call from the front office at school. The secretary told her that the pickup car had changed from mine to a new car. She was being told this so that when school let out she wouldn’t get upset when she didn’t see my car. The “new car” is the same one as my exes. It is a rare car/color and she told me she knew it was his car. She didn’t say anything to the secretary or her teacher because she was instantly scared. It breaks my heart that she was in fear because she thought he had got me and was going to get her. She was given the message hours before school let out so she spent all that time worrying. The last ten minutes of the day is when the kids can use the bathroom and clean up. She started crying infront of her whole class and when the bell rang she refused to leave her classroom. I was in the carpool line when I got the call from her teacher. I have never seen her so upset and that is saying a lot because she was so upset when she visited me in the hospital. Face beet red, hyperventilating, snot everywhere, she had cried so hard she got a nosebleed. After they told me what happened I was livid. It all sounded like bullshit because the secretary never should have relayed the message without talking to me first since she said it was a male on the phone. As soon as the secretary looked my daughter up to find out which room to call she should have seen the message I thought I had saying no one should ever pick her up but me. No information should ever be released. “He was never in contact with her so it’s not that big of a deal, it was a mistake” is what they told me. All he had to give was her full name and what grade she was in to get a message to her. They said that to me with a straight face while the bruises he gave me were very visible proving he is a violent man. I’m so f*cking angry. She told me she knew I didn’t get a new car because as much as I try to hide it from her she knows I’m broke. She thought she was going to have to go with him. She has been so traumatized and I don't know what to do. She wants to switch to e learning but since it’s not a medical reason and not a school wide restriction I would have to pay to rent the laptop. Which I obviously can’t. The school is calling it an innocent mistake and didn't even apologize. I know I'm the only one responsible for my daughter and I’s safety but damn if people could stop jeopardizing it like it’s nothing and then acting like I’m the asshole for being upset because it was a “mistake”. He wasn’t there after school but he could have. Update 13 - 4 weeks later I've had a few people asking so I wanted to update. I can now confidently say that my daughter, cat, and I are safe and will continue to be from here on out. I can start rebuilding without fear. I'm not okay but we are safe. Update 14- 3 weeks later I’ve spent the last 4 months running for my life I just want to say that if anyone is going through something similar to me, you can vent to me. This is something you have to experience to understand how hard it is. I know there are DV resources but they are extremely limited. I had someone on here “checking in” with me and when I explained what was going on I was asked “why aren’t you stable yet” and it kinda took me off guard. Only a few people knew I was pregnant through this. I left my home with basically nothing and went to a hotel and he found me, I went to another hotel and he found me, I went to a safe house for two nights where I was asked to leave because my ex was dangerous, slept in my car with my daughter, went to my moms out of state, came back to my home state because that is where DV resources helped with a apartment, he followed me back to my apartment from my daughters school, I was hospitalized when he broke my nose, shattered my orbital bone, and gave me a concussion. I had to leave that apt, back to hotels and sleeping in my car, and finally back to my moms. So much money feels wasted. I have the opportunity to be added onto her new lease but it’s a bigger unit and requires a first/last deposit (impossible unless I rob a bank). The pet deposit is already paid. But I only have until the 1st or we are back to living in the car because we have exceeded our “visitation” days. A year lease where my rent would only be $500 a month, utilities maybe $150? I’d be saving so much money and be able to rebuild my life. We would all have our own rooms which means privacy! Even though we are all female, privacy is precious. I haven’t slept in a bed since the hotel beds but even then it wasn’t “my” bed. It’s been my car, hotel bed, or the couch. Even when we were briefly in our new place I still slept on the couch with it pushed against the front door. I know all my posts are about the same thing, one thing after another, and yes it IS exhausting and repetitive but think about how I feel. I’m desperate for stability and I can’t get it because he took so much from me. It wasn’t until I was out of “our” house and away from him for me to see how much power he had over my life. It’s embarrassing. Even if I have to go back to living in my car I’ll still be around to talk and I’ll still be optimistic because I deserve good things to happen to me that aren't only in my dreams. Clarification on the air tag: There was! Someone helped him put one in my cat's carrier because he knew if I was going to leave, I'd never leave my cat behind. Update 14 - 1 month later The vet gave my abuser my location I want to say this was a genuine mistake and not done with malicious intent but I still need to vent about it. Just like my daughter's school letting my abuser give her a message, this was an accident but accidents put my life in danger and I’m exhausted. I post about my situation alot and despite a few users thinking my ex would find my reddit, I’m not worried about that. However, I am terrified of him knowing where I am. He has gone through a restraining order, police don’t scare him, and when he got/gets arrested he will just get bailed out. I knew the only way I could live a normal life was getting as far away from him as possible. So I took my daughter and cat and moved in with my mom a few states away. I was 100% confident that he didn’t know where I was because they never met, we were actually estranged for a few years before my ex and I even got together. I started feeling safe. I stopped jumping when I heard loud trucks. I was starting to get comfortable even though not alot of time had passed. A few days ago my cat's back legs stopped working and he lost control of his bodily fluids.I was working but my mom rushed him to the ER vet. There were questions she couldn’t answer so they asked if he was chipped. He is but I changed my number a few times lately so one of the two numbers was out of service so they called the second one. I forgot to remove his number, I know this is my fault. The vet called him to get information and he didn’t give any information and hung up on them. The receptionist said he called back about 5 minutes later and said “I know she doesn’t have money. Tell her I’ll save her cat if she comes home”. He knows how much my cat means to me. He found me the first time I left because his mom helped him sew an air tag into the lining of the cat carrier. He knew if I was to ever leave him I wouldn’t leave my cat. One time my ex threw him out of the house to hurt me while I was at work he refused to leave the porch. My ex then tried squirting him with a water bottle and when that didn’t work, he sprayed him with the hose. He basically got waterboarded and still would not leave. He is my soul cat. When I got to the vet and they told me what happened I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve had in awhile. I’ve had my cat for ten years and he has never gotten sick or injured. He has a UTI and a fractured foot from falling. The vet thinks he probably got his foot hurt first and that led to the UTI since he wasn’t using the litter box. I noticed he was slightly limping a few days ago but I couldn’t get him into the vet yet. The UTI developed quickly. I was naive in thinking the vet would save a pet's life even if the owner can’t pay upfront but it isn’t like a human going into the ER. I’ve spent so much money and time trying to get away from my ex while also trying to live a normal safe life for my daughter. Once again something happens and he now knows the city we are in. I’m not running again because I can’t. I don’t think he will drive up here because like I said I’m a few states away but man did this bring back my paranoia and irrational fear. I changed the chip information but the damage is done, I was a fucking idiot for not doing it sooner. This is my fault, I'm so damn tired. Update - 3.5 months later ​ My daughter told me she hates me I post a lot about my situation but I haven’t been totally transparent about everything. I’m not fully processing everything so I thought letting a bunch of strangers know is somehow therapeutic. A year and a half ago my sister died. She was sick with pneumonia and by the time someone realized she was sick it was too late. She was non verbal and the nursing home she was at was neglecting her. It's almost too much to even try to talk about because I feel like I failed her. Last November my grammy died. Everything good was because of her. Then my boyfriend tried poisoning me and all the “innocent” accidents I was having finally made sense. Hiding my epi pen and changing out the condoms that I was allergic to, “accidentally” pushing me down the stairs, finding my emergency money and stealing it so I couldn’t leave. I have many posts about him. He took a leave of absence from his job so he could literally hunt me and my daughter down. Three separate times he found us and each time the consequences got worse. Concussion, broken nose, shattered orbital bone, broken teeth. I was going to go back to him because I couldn’t afford to live without him and I was pregnant. I get a lot of backlash for constantly posting about what my ex did to me but this is the only way I can talk about it. I figured as long as he didn’t hurt my daughter it was ok. Then came the “I don’t know how to tell you this” message on facebook from one of his friends, Josh. He was obsessed with my daughter and would constantly tell his friends “I can’t wait until she is 18”. I knew I had to leave and stay gone so I moved a few states away with her and my cat to my mom. Josh kept my ex occupied for two days to give me enough time to get away without worrying about being followed. Three days ago Josh died in a car accident. I so badly want to pay my respects at his funeral. Hug his mom and look her in her eyes and tell her that her son literally saved us. But I can’t. Not only can I not afford to go but I know that if my ex sees me he will not hesitate to end my life. I am not exaggerating or being dramatic. There is no “well maybe he wouldn’t do anything” or “it’s been a few months he probably moved on” or “I doubt he is going to risk his freedom killing you”. He will. My aunt died on my birthday in June. My soul cat had to be put down. I miscarried. Another friend died in August. This all sounds very extreme and like a bad country song or something but I’ve been taking the lows with the hope that things will get better. Last night my daughter wanted to use her door dash gift card she won from the library. I didn’t know a picture was taken at delivery until I saw it. I look so bad, it took me by surprise. My arms and legs are nearly the same size. I look like a skeleton. Pale and sunken in. this is the worst I’ve ever looked even when I had my severe ED. Idk if I just never noticed or didn't care to acknowledge it. The only clothing I have is winter clothes so I am always covered up. My underwear started getting baggy but I thought it was because they were old and worn out. I keep coming up with an excuse every time something goes wrong or I tell myself “everything is fine just keep going” but it isn’t ok. A doordash picture is my wake up call, how pathetic? I'm not handling things as well as I thought. To top it off today my daughter said she hated me. She has never said anything like that before but I get it. I uprooted her from the only life she ever knew. Her entire summer consisted of going to the library everyday so I could work. I wanted her to do e learning instead of going to school in person because I knew there were going to be things that she wanted to do but can’t. I know how selfish that is of me. Her homecoming is this weekend and I had to tell her she can’t go. I sound like a broken record but I can’t afford it. I'm starting to hate myself too so I don’t blame her. I know life will go on and she will have other dances but trying to get her to understand is hard as hell. Living is hard as hell. ​ Final Update 16 ​ On November 23, 2023 I made a post questioning whether or not I was the asshole for believing my daughter. I was ignorant and naive for second guessing myself. I've posted updates since my OG post but here is a little TL:DR; of everything that has happened since I left. He hunted us like animals and he had help doing so. I had to break two different apartment leases after he found us. He went through restraining orders. I was hospitalized twice after he got violent. We slept in the car on and off for weeks after leaving. Was asked to leave shelters for the safety of everyone else. I eventually had to flee the state after he started targeting my daughter at her school. My mom and cat died. In March of this year my daughter got MRSA down to the bone in her left foot and had to amputate it. She bravely testified against him and some of the things that emerged were things she hid from me. He is a monster. She is probably going to have to do E-learning again this year but this time it isn't because I’m scared he is going to find her. He stole my safety nets and I haven't been able to recover. On July 6th our apartment flooded and is a total loss, we lost everything we had. He completely ruined me but knowing he is going to sit and rot in a prison in Indiana for the next 12 years brings me so much peace. Last month he was sentenced and justice was actually served. I know my situation isn’t unique and I know first hand how hard it is to leave, and stay away. I should not have made excuses for the red flags and should have left sooner. I still get messages from women saying they would never leave their partner for their kids. Although no one in his real life believes he belongs there and thinks I’m the horrible one who “ruined his life”, I am NOT the asshole!! ​ Comments ​ Corfiz74 Is there any way you can bring a civil suit against him and get some financial compensation for what he put you through? OOP: He has court ordered restitution to my daughter and I as part of his sentence! Just waiting is the hardest part. ​ Editor's note - OOP has a few other posts which you can see on her profile, also this was 17 different posts, if I got anything mixed up, please let me know I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments submitted by /u/SharkEva to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is Itsjustkit15. He posted in r/crowbro Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. Mood Spoiler: both awesome and frustrating in different ways Original Post: May 21, 2025 Title: Woke up to my crows screaming at me through my window at 5am, was mad but turned out they wanted my help Fast forward to me scaling a fence to wrangle a feisty little cat that was menacing my crows. I feed my crows on my apartment patio, which is about 10 feet off the ground and overlooks an enclosed gravel parking lot for a nearby business. My crows can perch on my fence and see me through my window. This morning at 5:30 am they started absolutely screeching at me through the window, which they have never done before. I just got back from a camping trip so I thought they were mad I had been gone. I went out there to be like, "it is too early to be yelling for snacks!!" Everyone was still screeching and I'm mad cause it's cold and I'm half asleep, so I go to toss the kibble into the parking lot instead of putting it on the railing so they'll move away from my apartment. That's when I see the cat. Like duh, of course they were mad about something. Well the cat didn't look very old and was stuck in the parking area (it's fully fenced in and locked) and obviously a danger to birds. So I got dressed and went to get it. Man, what an adventure. It took me 30 minutes to catch this damn cat. Not because it was scared of me but because it was having way too much fun terrorizing the birds and making me chase it. Plus I had to climb the fence to get it and then climb back over with the cat (I wrapped it tightly in my hoodie). At least there weren't a lot of people out to witness me pspspspspspspspsing and swearing for 30 min in the early hours. My crows followed us around the whole time and kept showing me where the cat was when it would run away so I could go catch it lol. At one point the cat was rolling around on a roof shed and all these birds were perched in the tree above it screaming, and I swear this cat was eating it up. Anyways, I finally managed to get the sneak wrapped in my hoodie and it's now resting safely in my puppies crate until I can find the owner etc. (already working on that part). I have two big dogs and a 560 square foot apartment so kitty is not staying here. Though my older dog is OBSESSED with this cat. She is just laying next to the crate staring at it. I hope my crows are grateful because waking up at 5:30 am, climbing into a locked fenced area, and wrangling a sneaky juvenile cat in order to protect my crows was not on my list of things I wanted to do this morning. Update (Same Post): 1 hour later UPDATE: Kitty is back with owner, an older woman in the neighborhood who told me that kitty, "is an indoor/outdoor cat and she has a lot of freedom." I let her know that I apprehended her because "the birds I regularly feed were very upset/going after the cat" and reminded her that outdoor cats are a danger to birds. Probably won't change anything, but at least I told her. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: I'm having a shadenfraude moment and chuckling away over here. Thanks for painting the vivid mental image.... The cat rolling around lapping it up sent me 😂 OOP: I thought in the moment, man this would be a hilarious photo. But I was too mad and preoccupied hahaha. Will post a photo of the offending kitty though once I have a good one. It's in the back corner of the crate resting now. All in all a very cute cat. But a wile one!! Commenter: 😂😂😂 i literally ran out my house and over my neighbour’s fence this morning to save a fledgling starling from a cat (UK, starlings are native)!!! I didn’t even have my bra on! I came running out with my water gun but after getting over the fence I realised it was taller on the other side and I had to walk round the estate (block?) to get back home 😂 fledgling was all good! 😮‍💨 OOP: Yes!!!! Bird rescuers unite! I ran out on my patio in my boxers so can relate 🤣. Yay for you and that fledgling! Commenter: Look at us go!!! I hope we get the opportunity to save many more wee beasts! OOP: We'll be on the look out for sure!! We're like a vigilante team and our uniform is not-dressed-enough-to-be-rescuing-critters. Our crime fighting spans continents and oceans!! (I'm in the US lol). ETA: will be buying a water gun as well so I can be fully prepared! The only acceptable gun for a vigilante crew (or really anyone) to carry regularly. Commenter: What an amazing bond you guys have. You’re so in tune with them and I find that extremely wonderful. OOP: It was pretty cool that they asked for my help! I've been feeding crows for about two years now and I see crows everywhere I go. I feed them whenever I see them/have a snack available and I think many of the crows in the area at least know of me haha. I have two big dogs and live in an apartment so we go on at least three walks a day, which means we're out and about a lot with crow treats. They also come hang out with me on my patio. Crows are so cool! I love them. Commenter: If you have to save it again, tell its owner it was trapped in an area with no escape, food or water, and embellish a bit that you were worried it would DIE where it got stuck and that the birds seemed to be TRYING TO EAT ITS EYES. Maybe a bit of fear for her "outdoor cat" would help it become an indoor cat... OOP: Oh for sure. If I have another encounter with this cat/owner I am hamming up the danger to the cat because she definitely didn't seem concerned about the bird population. I didn't even mention they were crows! I thought an older lady would understand being concerned about little birds being fed, but alas, she was not. Commenter: I wouldn't mean crows. Plenty of stupid people already don't like them. No need to have her meds with them to 'protect' her cat. I would point out you've seen rodent pellets out, and her cat can die from catching/eating a poisoned mouse. OOP: Oh I would not mention the crows as I know that most people don't realize that they are smarter than most pets and have no appreciation (idiots) for their beauty and perfection. I would likely mention eagles, falcons, ospreys etc. as we have tons of much more dangerous predator birds in this area that really could hurt her cat. ETA: the rodent traps/pellets are a good idea! There are plenty of traps around so it would be an honest warning! Crows and OOP's dogs: I was really surprised at first because my crows and dogs tolerate each other really well. I used to live in a home with a fenced in backyard and my crow family trusted my older dog with their fledglings. They would let them bop around in the yard even when my dog was out. I have worked very intentionally though to train my dog not to chase crows and give fledglings their distance. The main things she chases are squirrels and raccoons and the crows, I think, appreciate her for that. Every now and then a crow would startle or move really fast and her natural instincts take over and she jumps up and acts like she's going to chase. But then she catches herself and stops haha. Now I live in a new place and have a new puppy who is learning to be friends with crows too! I usually put my crow snacks in the potted plants on my patio and then also on the railing. The other day my puppy was out on the patio with the crow when it was trying to eat and Gregor (my puppy) kept getting into the planter the crow was going for. So he flew to the other end of the patio, knocked some treats off the railing onto the patio ground, waited for Gregor to notice and come bumbling over, and then went and got the planter treats while puppy was distracted. Genius. Now I put all their treats on the railing so my silly puppy doesn't steal them. But the short version is, my dogs and crows get along great! My crows regularly fly down right next to my dogs to get treats. My puppy alerted me to a nearby crow today before I even noticed and it was only a couple feet away on the ground. OOP pays the dog tax here Update Post: May 25, 2025 (4 days later) Title: Update: Saved my crows from a cat now I'm famous with all the local crows. A couple days ago I posted a story about my crows asking for help dealing with a menacing cat. I handled the situation with poise and definitely did not rip the seat of my pants on a chainlink fence. You can read the original post here, https://www.reddit.com/r/crowbro/s/9DtaimSuKc. Everywhere I go lately crows show up and say hi. Driving my car? They swoop down in front of my windshield. They fly by my window. Walking my dogs? They follow us and hang out on nearby perches when we stop. Drove 20 minutes to my parent's house? A murder of 20 was waiting for me in the trees and it really did sound like they were talking about me. Within a couple minutes there were 50 😂. My main bro? Says hi to me every chance he gets. He's the one who alerted me to the cat in the first place. I've never named him because it feels weird to name a wild thing, he probably already has a name! But maybe I should call him something. Open to suggestions. He makes this crazy "whah whah" sound I've never heard another crow make. It's pretty fun being famous with my city crows. I bop around town a lot, so I'm making lots of new crow friends. It's very cool how they can tell each other about someone. I feel like the local crow hero and I'm down for it. Does your murder need protecting? Be there in a min. Some of OOP's Comments: Commenter: Maybe that "Whah, Whah" sound is your new name in Crow Speak. OOP: Shut up, I'm crying. Here's a sound clip of him. Commenter: I've never heard a crow make that sound :0 sounds almost like a ringtone OOP: It's insane! The first time I heard it I was like, "wtf was that?" And then I watched the sound come out of his beak and was even more like, "WTF WAS THAT??" Commenter: Wallow is what I hear from your video, and I think that’s a super cool name for a crowbro Also congrats on your celebrity status. I wonder if other crows will recruit you for side quests now? OOP: I actually love Wallow. Side quests are my jam, I am 100% open for recruitment for any crow needs. Commenter: That sounds a little like “wah-woah” - it could also be him trying to say “hello”. …do you ever say “hello” to him? OOP: I do! But he did not learn it from me. He made that sound at me a couple times after our first interaction and I don't say hello in any tones that sound like his. Very possible he learned it from someone else or is copying people he's heard and used it with me to say hello. That's what makes sense to me and was my initial thought the first time I heard him say it. Commenter: The flex I need, you have. I wanna be a crow bro. OOP: You've got this! I've started from 0 with feeding crows twice now because I had to move suddenly and left my original murder behind. What works best for me is to go on a walk around town with a bag of peanuts. Every single time I hear or see a crow (whether I think they have seen me or not) I toss out some peanuts. The first couple walks you may not get any to come down at all. Don't give up! Patience and continuity are key. When you have your first crow come down for peanuts, then you can start putting out peanuts at home. They will follow you and find your home and then they will visit your home. In my experience, going to them first works much better than waiting for them to come to you. They want to see they can trust you and that you'll make an effort before they'll try peanuts you left out at home. What if those are poisoned?? What if it's a trap?? Also for the first several weeks keep your eyes and face averted. They don't want you to make eye contact until you've got an established relationship. But when you get there, so good! Nothing like looking a crow in the eyes and it looking right back at you. Commenter: This makes me want to be famous with crows. Think about the possibilities! I would travel the country just making friends with crows in every city, become a legend. You should do that. Let’s raise an army, start a cult, etc. 😂 OOP: Yesssss Crow Cult has such a good ring to it. Murder Posse? So many options. But really, I do make every effort to befriend crows everywhere I go. I once backtracked on a bike ride so I could open a bag of chips two crows were trying to peck a whole in. Dumped out the crisps for them, threw away the bag. Win win! Commenter: I recently read somewhere (I can't find the original post) that this sound if I remember correctly is actually a new trend that has very quickly spread across the country for crows. I wish I could find the original post I seen about this it was incredibly interesting. OOP: Oh wow! That would be so cool. If you do find it send it my way. I wonder if its purpose is connecting with humans. They're like, "Hey, try this new slang with humans! They fucking shit their pants over it! So many treats!" Commenter: My niece is convinced that Crows remember every misdeed against them and every loving gesture. She will be thrilled by this story! OOP: But they do!! It's been scientifically proven. Show her this study if she hasn't seen it yet. They have to keep changing the number of years because the crows just keep remembering. There's no telling how long they'll remember because now it's clear that they communicate about people to other crows and their offspring, so grudges span generations. Basically, fuck around and find out. Commenter: If I may ask, how did you come by the knowledge of concealing your face and averting your eyes during the first few weeks? If it was merely by intuition, or close observation, I think I may need to hang you with the title of "The Crow Whisperer". OOP: Ok this is so random. But it was a combination of intuition and the movie Nope. Not making eye contact with a wild creature is a key aspect of that movie (based on real evidence from nature) and when I was interacting with my crows I realized that they did not like it when I looked directly at them. So I just tried not looking at them and they would let me get so much closer. I built up trust with them by watching them from a distance or inside my house/apartment. They mind that less. Then slowly looking at them from the corner of my eye (they know you're watching them). Sometimes it takes months, but if you really give it a go and are slow and patient the reward is fantastic. One more comment from OOP: Hijacking the top comment to link this post of another crow making the same noise! This comment might be right! Gonna look for an article now. Mini Update Post 2: May 27, 2025 (2 days later) Title: Wag Wah and his mate saying a close hello, also making sure the other crows know I've been claimed Video available for view in the post link Here's my main bro, calling him Wah Wah and Wallow after everyone gave suggestions for his nickname, and his mate. Mate is in the tree on the left and Wallow is hanging out on the right supervising. See my post history if you want more backstory. While I was out on my walk with my dogs today, just before the tree hellos, a different crow came along with a treat in its beak and showed it off to me like, "hey you got treats? I like them, you could feed me too!" Unfortunately I did not have any crow treats with me at the time. Slacking, I know. As soon as I started talking to this crow, Wallow comes out of nowhere and tackles them, knocks them on their back, and just lays into them. The other crow was fine, flew away a second later. I have to say I cracked up. Not the first time Wallow has kept crows away from me, but usually he's only territorial about my patio. Seems like he's upping the anti. 😂 Once the other crow was dealt with, Wallow and his mate flew in and perched on these two trees within feet of me. The video is not zoomed in, they were both within an arms reach, the closest they have chosen to get yet. We had a nice little chat and then my dogs and I went on our way. After promising further treats at home of course. The second part of the video is Wallow on my porch strutting around on the railing. He just had his treats and is feeling pretty good about himself for claiming his territory. I've been wondering why I only get one or two crows on my patio for a hot minute. Definitely confirmed it today that Wallow is keeping them away 😆. He and his mate are the only ones allowed, and he only brings his mate when he's feeling it. Update Post 3: June 2, 2025 (5 days later, 12 from OG post) Title: update: THE CAT IS BACK. This time my crowbro helped me catch her. TLDR: I saved my crows from a cat and became the neighborhood crow hero. Got my second call for duty today 🫡. Same fucking cat. So I was on a walk with my dogs this morning when I hear a crow alarm going off in one of the trees ahead. I bustled my dogs along to see what was up, because if I can help obviously I'm going to. Bro was flapping around this tree screeching about something, which is when I realized it was my guy, Wallow. I looked up in the branches to see what was going on and it's that damn cat again. All I had with me was my wallet so I tried throwing it at her to get her to come down. I'm not afraid to climb a tree (really I will climb a tree for fun) but this one would be difficult and it's on the grounds of a middle school. The last thing I need is to embarrass myself by falling out of a tree next to a middle school I walk by every day. Well I missed a bunch with my wallet and she didn't give a shit so, time to reconsider. At first I thought it might be a different cat because it was wearing a different color collar and there have been signs up for a lost cat that looks similar. So I ran back to the local dog store (just up the street) to see if I could find the "Lost Cat" sign I had seen before. The sign was gone. Thus, I figured little miss kitty had to be a repeat offender. I took my dogs home and went back out to check on the cat situation. Figured I might as well see if there was anything I could do. My bro (wah wah or Wallow is his nickname but I mostly just say "hey friend" to him), was sitting on the roof of the middle school a ways away keeping on eye on things. I couldn't see the cat anymore so I circled the tree looking for it, but no such luck. I thought maybe she had left already so I turned to leave and that's when Wallow came flying down from his perch all fluffed up ready to go talons out. Kitty was just hiding further up where I couldn't see her. He got this cat so good she ran out of the tree terrified and I was able to grab her. So now I have a sidekick (Wallow not the cat). Sally is the cat's name and she has a new collar with her owners phone number on it. I carried her back to my apartment in the embarrassing ass hanging free position that Wallow enjoyed so much last time and he divebombed us the whole way back to my apartment shrieking swear words at Sally. She was definitely scared. Wallow got extra kibble today as a thank you for the assist. And Sally's owner got a voicemail explaining how her cat was in danger from large predatory birds that kept divebombing her (wouldn't tell her they were crows in a million years) and that she may want to reconsider having her cat outdoors. Cat's in jail (my puppy's crate) for now. She definitely remembered me and I think wanted to be saved? Because there were a lot of birds harassing her in that tree. Not just crows haha. And yet again I have dealt with little miss Sally before even having my first cup of coffee. So I'm gonna go do that while I wait for a callback from Sally's owner. Some of OOP's Comments: OOP explains: I'm not trapping her pet. The cat was in danger, my crow literally knocked it out of a tree and the cat came running straight for me and willingly jumped into my arms. I called her owner the second I got her to safety and have already arranged for her to be picked up. ETA: I ham up the anti-cat in this story because it's for the crowbros. Obviously little miss Sally's safety is important to me as well and I only embarrassed her for a little while Commenter: I hope the embarrassment of having your cat handed back a second time + a scared cat will put some sense in the owner. OOP: One can hope! Doubtful though she texted me back asking me to just let the cat out because she just got out of surgery and can't pick her up. I made sure to be very clear that she was knocked out of a tree by a large bird and was then divebombed repeatedly, but she didn't respond to that part. I felt so awful but I don't know where she lives and felt it would be too weird to ask, so Sally is out and about again. Owner is expecting her and said she would keep an eye out. She's an elderly lady who I guess just doesn't see a problem with having an indoor/outdoor cat. I'll probably have repeated run ins with Sally now. I put her owner's number in my phone lol. Commenter: What a terrible update. Should’ve just let it “out” to a shelter without the collar. OOP: She's a little old lady who just got out of surgery. I'm not going to go against her request for her cat. It's not illegal to have outdoor cats but I'm guessing it is illegal to intentionally make it more difficult for someone to get their animal back. Did my best with a shitty situation 🤷🏼. Commenter: But you can bring the cat to a non-kill shelter to get the cat out of a shitty situation. OOP: And they will literally call the number on the collar and give the cat back to her owner. Commenter (downvoted): A) Don't have to bring the collar. B) That would still get the point across to them, hopefully getting a call from a shelter would make thing realize "I'm being stupid" OOP: I may be a bit of a vigilante, but I'm not committing fraud. Taking her collar off and pretending I just found her on the street and don't know the owner potentially resulting in the cat not going home to an owner who is at least taking steps to keep an eye on her and is also a little old lady is a level I will not stoop to. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I bought my house in Bunn, NC 2 years ago. The front planter was decent, but it was filled with class A rip-rap, lots of plant material, and was underwhelming me as a new homeowner. So, I hired a guy to dig it all out and turns out it was a mud pit. It sat as a mud pit for a year. I'm pretty low income, so after saving up I added gutters onto the house front porch to help keep runoff from the roof pouring into this area, and recently had a company level it out, add soil, a layer of fabric, and rock on top. I don't want a ton of maintenance, and rock seemed like an easy choice. I also did not consult anyone about this decision and probably should have. But it's done and there's no going back now! There is roughly 3 inches of rock on the top before it hits the fabric, then soil underneath. The planter receives full sun from the morning until early afternoon when it becomes partly to fully shaded. I've thought of doing a container garden for easier maintenance, but is it really easier? Or should I just plant stuff in the ground? Will anything survive with the rock? I want a colorful, low maintenance garden. Perennials that bloom at different times and some evergreens. Some shrubbery would be nice. Something to hide the hideous bottom part of the front porch. A few bird feeders and a bird bath. Some nice, low profile plants to go along the sidewalk. I want it to be really girly. Please help, as my ChatGPT keeps generating useless ideas. I have a very decent greenhouse close by and work for the family, and I'm sure I can source a lot of plants there if I have a general idea of what I'm looking for. I could probably just ask them to design it, but I trust Reddit and the opinions on here. submitted by /u/jdubayew16 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Looking for advice. This is the front door of our house. We have these two built in brick garden beds on left and right. The vines growing up the two posts is bougainvillea and planted in the beds. The rest of the beds used to be filled with dusty miller but we were finding they did so well that we think they started stealing nutrients from the 2 Bs. I've removed a couple on either side and there are still 3 left on each side. It left a weird blank spot. I place a couple white planters there (you can see...no plants in them yet) but it still just looks weird. I think I need to start over. Any ideas for what I can do with these two entry garden beds without actually planting anything in them? We want the bougainvillea to thrive. I'm open to taking out all the dusty miller out. Would pots look ok? Any and all suggestions are welcome. I do hope to replace the front railings to separate the porch from the garden bed later this year which will help but I just feel like there needs to be something in or on those beds. submitted by /u/crazylash44 to r/gardening [link] [comments]

Check the Full Details Article Here: https://trendwaveusa.live-website.com/front-porch-columns-christmas-decor/ Transforming your front porch into a winter wonderland is a delightful way to celebrate the festive season, especially with charming front porch columns Christmas decor. These structural elements offer a perfect foundation for creativity, allowing homeowners to express their holiday spirit in a visually stunning manner. When decorating front porch columns for Christmas, consider using natural elements such as garlands made of pine, fir, or cedar. These evergreen materials evoke a sense of warmth and coziness while complementing the classical architectural features of your home. Wrap them around the columns for a rustic yet elegant look. Incorporate cheerful colors by adding bright red or gold ribbons. Tying large bows at the top or bottom of your columns can create striking visual anchors. Additionally, ornaments can be hung from the garlands or positioned at strategic points to catch the light and draw attention. Light up your Christmas decor with string lights wrapped around the columns, creating a magical glow during the evenings. Opt for warm white lights for a classic appearance or multicolored options for a joyful, playful touch. Solar-powered lights can be a sustainable choice, ensuring that your display shines brightly without increasing your electricity bill. Another fantastic idea is to utilize decorative planters at the base of your columns. Fill them with festive plants like poinsettias or seasonal evergreens to enhance the holiday feel. Pairing these with ornamental winter berries can also enrich the color palette of your front porch. In summary, the potential for front porch columns Christmas decor is truly limitless. With thoughtful arrangements of natural materials, vibrant colors, and illuminated features, you’ll create an inviting atmosphere that spreads holiday cheer to all who pass by. Check the Full Details Article Here: https://trendwaveusa.live-website.com/front-porch-columns-christmas-decor/ submitted by /u/affiliate1287 to r/AmazonBrandReviews [link] [comments]

new idea for hot west facing front can we trim these back at all without it looking freaky for years? Pro Landscape design we considered but we will kill these if they need lots of water, no sprinkler system. You can see that the beds are very large submitted by /u/arttillygirl to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Need ideas for small front porch area. My plan is to get a large but simple white wreath and a bigger doormat with some color to it. The door is a dark red/burgundy. I know we need to fix up the stucco a bit and pressure wash the walk way. What do I put next to the door? Was thinking a bench or chair but doesn’t feel right with the post. Do I just need a largish planter? If so what color? This area gets a lot of sun most of the year, normal annual type of plants won’t last here. Thanks in advance! submitted by /u/smallestfann to r/ExteriorDesign [link] [comments]

Need ideas for small front porch area. My plan is to get a large but simple white wreath and a bigger doormat with some color to it. The door is a dark red/burgundy. I know we need to fix up the stucco a bit and pressure wash the walk way. But what do I put next to the door? Was thinking a bench or chair but doesn’t feel right with the post. Do I just need a largish planter? If so what color? This area gets a lot of sun most of the year, normal annual type of plants won’t last here. Thanks in advance! submitted by /u/smallestfann to r/HomeDecorating [link] [comments]

Need ideas for small front porch area. My plan is to get a large but simple white wreath and a bigger doormat with some color to it. The door is a dark red/burgundy. I know we need to fix up the stucco a bit and pressure wash the walk way. But what do I put next to the door? Was thinking a bench or chair but doesn’t feel right with the post. Do I just need a largish planter? If so what color? This area gets a lot of sun most of the year, normal annual type of plants won’t last here. Thanks in advance! submitted by /u/smallestfann to r/HomeDecorating [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/biggergarden to r/garden [link] [comments]

I am still NOT the Original Poster. That is u/amme04. She posted in r/AITAH, r/poor and r/TwoXChromosomes Previous BORU posts are here, here and here. I removed some of the relevant comments to save space. New Updates start with ****\* A reminder that this sub has the 7 day waiting period, so the last update is 7 days old. This is a LONG, dark post. Trigger Warnings: attempted murder; domestic violence; stalking; possible child predation; attempted kidnapping Mood Spoiler: bleak and will make you hate the justice system Original Post: November 30, 2023 I don’t know if i watch too many crime shows or if I’m just paranoid so I’ve come here to ask. Last week I made chicken gnocchi soup. When it was almost done I started helping my daughter with a school project. She got us both a bowl and a few seconds later my bf runs into the room with a bowl and tells me to eat the bowl he has. I told him it was all the same and he insisted that he wanted mine because it had more chicken. Thinking back now I don’t know how he would know that considering my daughter dished it out. My daughter took the bowl he gave me and said she would eat it. He yanked it out of hand and said “no it’s for mom”. I took the bowl and he went to the living room. I continued doing my daughter's project and told her not to eat the soup. 20ish minutes later I walked into the kitchen to pour the soups out and he was still eating his. He asked why we didn’t eat any and I said the cat got into it while we were waiting for it to cool down. He screamed “WHAT!? Was it your bowl !?! Cats can’t eat that!?”. I told him it was only a lick but he has been stressed out watching the cat like a hawk, obsessive even. His reaction was very weird. These "accidents" all happened before the soup incident over the span of 6 months. It wasn't one after another in a short period of time. Since then my emergency money has gone missing. I keep money hidden just in case. I lost my older sister because she wasn’t able to escape a dangerous situation and I literally swore on her grave I would never be in that position. After the soup incident I went to get my money and it was gone. It was hidden and I changed the location every few months. I asked my daughter if maybe she found it and that if she took it I wouldn’t be mad because I knew she couldn’t have spent it. She said no. A few hours later she tells me she forgot but the other day her and my bf got pulled over and she saw my pink wallet in his glove box. I did not tell her which wallet it was in or that it was in a wallet. I decided to ask him if he found it by accident. He asked me why I was hiding a large amount of money, “you know you could never leave me” and laughed. (He has never said anything like that before). I told him it was for my daughters Christmas. He said no he didn’t find the money but could use his credit card for gifts. I didn’t tell him about my daughter seeing my wallet in his car. Now here are a few other things that have happened in the past few months that seemed random at the time but now they don’t. I have a severe allergy to latex. One day we were about to have sex and I glanced at the mirror we have by our bed and saw the condom wrapper was a different color. I stopped him because it wasn’t latex free and he said it was a mistake and just an older one he had. We have been dating for over 2 years and he knows how serious my allergy is. My epipen that I keep in my room is missing and I didn’t realize it. I didn't realize it was missing until I was searching for my money. Another odd thing is one day he was following me down the stairs while I was carrying laundry and he kicked the back of my leg and I fell. He said he slipped but the stairs are wood and he was wearing his steel toe boots. At the time I thought it was an accident. Am I overthinking this? My anxiety has been at an all time high. Do I watch too much true crime? Here is why I think I might be the asshole. We have a good relationship. He loves my daughter like she is his. We split all shared bills and we both pull our own weight around the apartment. We don’t fight. He has never so much as raised his voice at me. We are paycheck to paycheck but bills are paid. I thought about going to my moms house for a few days and asking him when I get there when I’m safe about the money but I don’t have money to do that now. She is on a fixed income and can't help. I feel stupid for being scared. Last night I decided to check his car for my wallet and he caught me. I asked him for my money back and he tried playing dumb. I told him my daughter saw it there. He told me she was lying. I told him I never told her about the money or what wallet. He said he was a grown man and kids lie all the time. I asked him once more for my money and he said “I’m not giving you money to leave me”. I waited until he was in the shower to grab my cat and my daughter and we left. I can’t take my cat with us to a shelter and the DV shelters are full. I was able to get us a night at a cheap motel. This exact situation is why I had money saved. I did everything right and now I’m screwed. I feel like I just blew up my entire life. Yes I'm using a burner account and reading all the comments that I can. Relevant Comment: Several people accuse this of being obviously fake because events escalated too quickly and why would she be posting on reddit for advice: "I'm not a character in a anonymous fucking story. I wasn't looking for advice, I was looking for confirmation I wasn't paranoid. You bet your ass I left as soon as he said my daughter was lying. Fuck off" There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but it was pretty obviously NTA Update Post 1: December 4, 2023 (4 days later) A TL:DR; I think my boyfriend put something in my soup. After that incident I remembered a few months ago he almost used a latex condom knowing I’m severely allergic and I also remembered when he “accidentally” knocked me down the stairs. I started piecing things together and realized my epi pen was gone as well as a large amount of money I had hidden. My daughter saw my old wallet in his glove box and he denied it. My post got alot of attention and my account was shadowbanned for a few days. I was able to appeal and get my account back because I’m not a bot or some AI. Now for the update. The day after we left he sent me a picture of my epi pen and tried telling me it was in my nightstand the whole time. I tore that room apart looking for it so I KNOW for 100% fact it wasn’t there. He took it. He tried getting me to come back telling me I scared myself stupid and watched too many true crime TV. Something didn't feel right so I told him to put my money and epi pen in the mailbox. We went back and forth and he denied having my money. He then said “If we broke up you and Maria (my daughter) are no longer allowed in my apartment and will be treated like trespassers” and sent me a pic of his target practice sheets. I went to the police about the money and was told it was a civil issue. I was upset but wanted the rest of my stuff so I asked for an escort. Yesterday I finally got an escort into the apartment with a cop and my landlord. He destroyed everything of my daughters and he ruined the laptop charger I use for work. No epi pen. My daughters medication and back up medical supplies were ruined. Our landlord let me off the lease without having to pay an early termination fee which is great considering I have no money. Motels are expensive. I don’t want to get rid of our cat. All shelters are full and this is scary as shit. I’m sorry this is a shitty update but I know people wanted it. Relevant Comments: There has to be something that can be done about your daughter's meds: "I'm beyond angry that nothing can be done. Insurance won't cover her medications or supplies until next month. She JUST got refills. I can get her meds but I'll pay out of pocket. I have no money. Since I couldn't prove my money existed I can't prove he stole it. I'm livid." Restraining order? "Nope not unless he gets physical with me. I should have let him hit me and I would have a lot more help available which is so fucked up." Update Post 2: December 10, 2023 (6 days later, 10 days from OG post) My OP got a lot of attention but then my account got shadowbanned and was temporarily removed. I just updated 5 days ago but this will be my final update because there is nothing anyone can do. I was encouraged to go back to the police station after my last update. On Saturday December 9th I went back AGAIN. This time I printed out the threatening text messages that included the target practice sheets he sent, I explained in detail about the “accidents” proving he was trying to hurt me, and I even had my landlord put in writing that he believed our lives were in danger after seeing everything I was showing the police and let me leave my lease early. I brought in the destroyed medical supplies and medications. The police said they had already talked to him and said he didn’t do any of it. He told them my daughter probably destroyed her stuff because she is “special ed”. She has very mild Asperger's but doesn’t destroy things! Since it was his word against mine they believed him. I didn’t have proof he stole the money or that it even existed in the first place. I was told the epi pen was my responsibility and they won’t do anything if it’s lost. I was told to “let it go” and acted like I was bothering the police with my “petty civil issues”. I am so defeated and angry. My daughter isn’t going to have gifts for Christmas because I have to save for a new deposit on an apartment. We have been staying in motels while I was reaching out to DV resources. I can’t get help without a restraining order/ police report. Every place is out of funds. He is getting away with everything and I’m so glad we got out because there is no doubt in my mind he would have gotten away with my murder. I know this sounds like my last update but that is what happened…nothing new. No justice. No repercussions for him. He gets to stay in the apartment. My landlord offered me another unit across town but I can’t afford to move in. This exact situation is why I had money stashed away because no one has ever cared about me/us and I knew that. There is nothing else I can do. Editor's note: OOP posted in another sub with the exact same information as above and no new update. However, she did add this clarification about shelters: "All shelters are full. I found an organization who helps DV victims with housing but only if you have a police report and a restraining order. I guess they are tired of victims going back to their partner, safety reasons, or something. I was denied a restraining order because I had no proof. I’m scared, exhausted, and disappointed." Update Post 3: December 28, 2023 (18 days later) Title: I thought we were safe Alot of people wanted a update so here it is. On Christmas he slashed my tires knowing I would have to pay out of pocket to replace them which I don’t have. Today he threw a heavy patio chair through the window of the place we were staying at to let me know he knew where we were and I was asked to leave for everyone's safety. Except my daughter and I aren’t safe. I walked in the sleet/snow with my daughter and our cat and I felt vulnerable and like open prey so we came back to the police station to sit in the lobby until morning. Shelters are still full and I now have to disclose that he is dangerous anywhere we go. Police couldn’t find him but I know he has to be close. I don’t know what his end game is. Relevant Comments: Can police direct you to a DV shelter? "The shelters here are full so we are just sitting in the police station lobby. We are at least safe and warm so I'm grateful for that." On donations: "Donations aren't allowed here and my post could get removed because of it. I'm trying to stay awake and really just venting. I'm so frustrated that he keeps getting away with this shit." Do you know how he keeps finding you? Have you checked for trackers? "I honestly have no idea! He is supposed to have a new girlfriend too so IDK why he is messing with me and destroying property" Reset your phone to factory settings: "I got a cheap burner after we left. He doesn't have my number nor have I used it to call anyone so IDK how he is tracking me." You said he sent you a photo of the epi pen after you left. How did he communicate that to you? "He sent it through my email before I blocked it." Update Post 4: January 1, 2024 (4 days later; a bit over 1 month from OG post) Title: I found the air tag in the cat carrier Please read my other posts for more context but a tl:dr; I’m pretty sure my ex was/is trying to kill me. There were a few instances that I wrote off as “accidents'' until I think he poisoned my soup that was specifically for me. On Christmas he found where we were staying and slashed my tires and threw a heavy patio chair and planter through a window. He still hasn’t been caught. I checked everywhere I could think of and still couldn't figure out how he was tracking us. I blocked him on everything including email after he sent me pics of his target practice sheets among other things. I got a cheap burner phone. My daughter was out of school for winter break so he didn’t follow her or anything. I checked my car for a tracker. Still nothing. I do not have an iphone so I couldn’t check whatever app a air tag is attached to. My cat is harness trained and wears a collar but there was no tracker. Until today I decided to “feel up” (sorry only way I can describe it) the carrier. I ran my fingers over every inch of it and felt a bump on the bottom soft side. There was no new stitching or obvious cut. He had to use a seam ripper along the stitching. It was undetectable and I almost missed it. He had to have had help because I’ve never seen him sew anything. Probably the same person who is letting him hide now. If his excuse for the air tag was to track my cat he would have put it on his collar or harness because that is what he would wear when we go on walks/car rides. My cat would never go in his carrier unless I was planning on leaving for more than a few days. I have no idea how long it has been there nor do I know how far the tracker works but now we aren’t safe where we are, AGAIN. I feel disgusting and I feel like hunted prey. This is so unnerving and I’m so uncomfortable. Who the f*ck was I living with? Relevant Comment: I’m sorry but I don’t find it believable that he tracked you with an AirTag. I don't know how airtags work and didn't say that is how he is tracking me, just that I found one. It doesn't make sense how he knew where we were. Update Post 5: January 7, 2024 (6 days later, 5.5 weeks from OG post) Title: I finally got the restraining order! I’m hoping this update will make everyone as happy as it makes me! I was finally granted the restraining order. And we get the keys to our new apartment on the 11th. A place I can afford monthly and comes partially furnished. It’s in a super safe area right by my daughter's school. There is security!! We will spend our time living in our car until then and of course it has to be snowing but we are together and we have our kitty. This nightmare is almost over. Update Post 5: February 2, 2024 (almost 1 month later) Title: A restraining order didn't stop him This morning he found me. I've been sick as hell so after I dropped my daughter off at school I went straight home. I didn't drive around to make sure no one was following me. I messed up. He broke my nose and shattered my orbital bone. He is in jail. Sorry for this update ya'll. Relevant Comments: "Staying in the hospital for the night, I was pretty sick before this happened. My daughter is with a friend for the night. My landlord fixed the door as best he could and told me my cat wasn't in the apartment so I'm worried sick. I thought this was over, I'm so so so tired." "I'm sure his mom will bail him out. Why can't he just move on? He took my money and my peace, what more can he take until he is satisfied?" Commenter: Please pull your daughter out of her school and leave the state ASAP. OOP: I so wish I could do this but we just moved into our new place. I should have just stayed with my mom (she lives in another state) but I didn't want to disrupt my daughters life too much. I have three dollars to my name so I can't leave. You often can break leases without penalties in DV situations: My previous landlord let me out of my lease without a penalty and my new one will too I just can't afford to move. Update Post 6: February 4, 2024 (2 days later) Title: Not being able to move even if my life depends on it I know the importance of having money saved and I live within my means. How many of us is one disaster away from losing everything? A fire, job loss, a bank screw up, a late paycheck, illness, or someone stealing from you. I had money saved because I knew that any one of those things could happen and I wouldn't have anyone who could help me. And it did. Two months ago my ex tried poisoning me and stole the money I had saved. It’s been hell since. I was able to break my lease and leave. I went to my moms over Christmas break but I came back because I didn’t want to disrupt my daughters schooling and I underestimated my ex. I was able to get an apartment through DV services very quickly which was a miracle. I know how hard it is to find housing and then try to come up with all the deposits a new place needs. I did it, the cards fell in my favor. But then I fucked up. On Friday I took my daughter to school and wasn’t diligent. I will usually drive around to make sure I’m not being followed. To be honest I started feeling crazy, paranoid, and angry I was wasting gas. Plus I have pneumonia and strep that I haven’t been able to pay for the antibiotics so I just went home to my bed. He found me and broke my nose, shattered my orbital bone, and I have a concussion. I had a restraining order and he was arrested. I shared this on another sub and everyone telling me to move, leave, RUN. Except I can’t do that. It’s hard trying to explain that to people for them to understand because it sounds like excuses, like I like living in fear or something. I can’t pull money out of thin air. My credit card is maxed. I contacted DV services at the hospital and because I just got help, I can’t get it again. The thing I didn’t know about abusive men is that they don’t just move on or stop. There are DV shelters but they are full. I wish people would understand that I know how serious this is but money doesn’t grow on trees. Even if a life depends on it. Relevant Comments: Will your parents really not help you? I only have my mom who lives out of state. She is on a fixed income so she can't help me. We could stay with her but at this point I'm out of luck and nothing worth a damn to sell. You need to disappear: Honestly how? I'm not going to get anywhere on foot. Update Post 7: February 15, 2024 (11 days later, 2.5 months from OG post) Title: He was with me to get to my daughter It all makes sense now. If you need more context please read my past posts. In my first post I said how we had a normal relationship and he was never abusive, controlling, never raised his voice. The money that he ended up stealing was money I had hidden since before he even moved in. I was not hiding money to get away from him. I was not afraid of him. I lost my sister to DV and swore I’d never have that happen to me only to end up in that exact situation. We didn’t have this spectacular love that was filled with insane chemistry, nowhere near a “love of my life” situation which is why I was so confused by how desperate he got. After he got arrested his mom went on a social media rant because I “got her baby locked up” and knew we were sleeping in my car so was telling her followers that if they find me to call her. Very bold and insane. One of my exes friends saw this and commented “Idk if you should be sticking up for him, he needs serious help”. I don’t know how I caught it before it was deleted but I reached out to him on my fake facebook. Every time they were drinking he would talk about her and then laugh it off. It made his friends uncomfortable but they chalked it up to the booze. Two weeks ago when my daughter came to see me in the hospital she was distraught. It made sense because I looked like hell but she kept repeating over and over asking me why he did this to me. I think there was more to this and I’m frightened to my core. Remember he stole my epi pen and money but he destroyed almost everything of hers and I didn't understand it because she had nothing to do with the breakup. Why did he destroy her medicine? Why did he destroy her clothes? Fucking why? Dont abusers threaten their victim into not saying anything or something is going to happen to someone/something they love? I’m sick to my stomach even writing that out. I don’t know where to go from here, how do I even begin a conversation about this with her? We are safe. I’m not worried about him finding us because he is still in jail which is great because I’m out of money. He wasn’t desperate and crazy because he was losing me, I think it was because of her. Update Post 8: February 20, 2024 (5 days later) Title: My ex is getting bailed out tomorrow I'm so angry and scared. I wish I had faith in the justice system and with cops because they are supposed to protect, right? Except that isn't always the case. I'm tired of being hurt and I'm tired of being scared. Anxiety is on 100. It's exhausting fearing my daughter and I's life. Update Post 9: February 28, 2024 (8 days later, 3 months from OG post) Title: How can I feel safer at home? I know a lot of people are following my posts and will be disappointed in hearing that my ex was bailed out. I’m still healing from when he broke my nose and shattered my orbital bone. I know a restraining order is just a piece of paper because he ignored it when I was attacked and the police aren’t going to save me. For security I only have a door bar that slides under the knob. I don’t have a ring camera and I can’t buy a pew pew until I have extra funds. He made me sell it a year ago because he was “uncomfortable” with it being in the house. Another red flag I missed. My question is what can I do to feel safer that doesn’t require money? Every night my daughter and I push the couch in front of the door but I’m worried that if there is a fire we can’t get out. I have myself worried sick to the point of painful stomach ulcers. I tried talking to my nearest neighbor but when I started explaining my situation and how it would be great if she could let me know if she sees anyone around my apartment she got weirded out. Which I get. Just looking for some peace of mind, will that ever exist in my life again? Update Post 10: March 6, 2024 (1 week later) Title: AITAH or was this just a mistake? Editor's note: I removed the first part of this as it is a recap of the previous posts I know this is all I post about and if you want more context you can read my past posts. I feel like I need to tell someone what is happening so that it makes it feel real and that I’m not just upset and crazy for nothing. My ex got out on bail last week. My daughter and I already left the new apartment we had moved into after he attacked me. My daughter's school knows about my situation and knows I have a restraining order. Today my daughter got a call from the front office at school. The secretary told her that the pickup car had changed from mine to a new car. She was being told this so that when school let out she wouldn’t get upset when she didn’t see my car. The “new car” is the same one as my exes. It is a rare car/color and she told me she knew it was his car. She didn’t say anything to the secretary or her teacher because she was instantly scared. It breaks my heart that she was in fear because she thought he had got me and was going to get her. She was given the message hours before school let out so she spent all that time worrying. The last ten minutes of the day is when the kids can use the bathroom and clean up. She started crying infront of her whole class and when the bell rang she refused to leave her classroom. I was in the carpool line when I got the call from her teacher. I have never seen her so upset and that is saying a lot because she was so upset when she visited me in the hospital. Face beet red, hyperventilating, snot everywhere, she had cried so hard she got a nosebleed. After they told me what happened I was livid. It all sounded like bullshit because the secretary never should have relayed the message without talking to me first since she said it was a male on the phone. As soon as the secretary looked my daughter up to find out which room to call she should have seen the message I thought I had saying no one should ever pick her up but me. No information should ever be released. “He was never in contact with her so it’s not that big of a deal, it was a mistake” is what they told me. All he had to give was her full name and what grade she was in to get a message to her. They said that to me with a straight face while the bruises he gave me were very visible proving he is a violent man. I’m so f*cking angry. She told me she knew I didn’t get a new car because as much as I try to hide it from her she knows I’m broke. She thought she was going to have to go with him. She has been so traumatized and I don't know what to do. She wants to switch to e learning but since it’s not a medical reason and not a school wide restriction I would have to pay to rent the laptop. Which I obviously can’t. The school is calling it an innocent mistake and didn't even apologize. I know I'm the only one responsible for my daughter and I’s safety but damn if people could stop jeopardizing it like it’s nothing and then acting like I’m the asshole for being upset because it was a “mistake”. He wasn’t there after school but he could have. Update Post 11: March 7, 2024 (Next Day) Title: He is never going to stop terrorizing us Editor's note- This is an almost word for word repost of the above post. I've kept it here for the timeline but also to include relevant Comments. Relevant Comments: Commenter: I hate to blatantly ask but did you ever find your cat? OOP: Hi yes I have my cat! Commenter: Have you contacted your mother, does she know what’s going on? I don’t know what your relationship with her is like but would she willing to help in any capacity OOP: The only thing she can assist with is a room for us to stay in which is great but not if I can't get there. My daughter is refusing to go to school. I don't know what to do. *****Update Post 12: April 1, 2023 (3.5 weeks later)****\* I've had a few people asking so I wanted to update. I can now confidently say that my daughter, cat, and I are safe and will continue to be from here on out. I can start rebuilding without fear. I'm not okay but we are safe. Update Post 13: April 23, 2024 (3 weeks later, almost 5 months from OG post) Title: I’ve spent the last 4 months running for my life I just want to say that if anyone is going through something similar to me, you can vent to me. This is something you have to experience to understand how hard it is. I know there are DV resources but they are extremely limited. I had someone on here “checking in” with me and when I explained what was going on I was asked “why aren’t you stable yet” and it kinda took me off guard. Only a few people knew I was pregnant through this. I left my home with basically nothing and went to a hotel and he found me, I went to another hotel and he found me, I went to a safe house for two nights where I was asked to leave because my ex was dangerous, slept in my car with my daughter, went to my moms out of state, came back to my home state because that is where DV resources helped with a apartment, he followed me back to my apartment from my daughters school, I was hospitalized when he broke my nose, shattered my orbital bone, and gave me a concussion. I had to leave that apt, back to hotels and sleeping in my car, and finally back to my moms. So much money feels wasted. I have the opportunity to be added onto her new lease but it’s a bigger unit and requires a first/last deposit (impossible unless I rob a bank). The pet deposit is already paid. But I only have until the 1st or we are back to living in the car because we have exceeded our “visitation” days. A year lease where my rent would only be $500 a month, utilities maybe $150? I’d be saving so much money and be able to rebuild my life. We would all have our own rooms which means privacy! Even though we are all female, privacy is precious. I haven’t slept in a bed since the hotel beds but even then it wasn’t “my” bed. It’s been my car, hotel bed, or the couch. Even when we were briefly in our new place I still slept on the couch with it pushed against the front door. I know all my posts are about the same thing, one thing after another, and yes it IS exhausting and repetitive but think about how I feel. I’m desperate for stability and I can’t get it because he took so much from me. It wasn’t until I was out of “our” house and away from him for me to see how much power he had over my life. It’s embarrassing. Even if I have to go back to living in my car I’ll still be around to talk and I’ll still be optimistic because I deserve good things to happen to me that aren't only in my dreams. Clarification on the air tag: There was! Someone helped him put one in my cat's carrier because he knew if I was going to leave, I'd never leave my cat behind. Update Post 14: May 21, 2024 (1 month later, almost 6 from OG post) Title: The vet gave my abuser my location I want to say this was a genuine mistake and not done with malicious intent but I still need to vent about it. Just like my daughter's school letting my abuser give her a message, this was an accident but accidents put my life in danger and I’m exhausted. I post about my situation alot and despite a few users thinking my ex would find my reddit, I’m not worried about that. However, I am terrified of him knowing where I am. He has gone through a restraining order, police don’t scare him, and when he got/gets arrested he will just get bailed out. I knew the only way I could live a normal life was getting as far away from him as possible. So I took my daughter and cat and moved in with my mom a few states away. I was 100% confident that he didn’t know where I was because they never met, we were actually estranged for a few years before my ex and I even got together. I started feeling safe. I stopped jumping when I heard loud trucks. I was starting to get comfortable even though not alot of time had passed. A few days ago my cat's back legs stopped working and he lost control of his bodily fluids.I was working but my mom rushed him to the ER vet. There were questions she couldn’t answer so they asked if he was chipped. He is but I changed my number a few times lately so one of the two numbers was out of service so they called the second one. I forgot to remove his number, I know this is my fault. The vet called him to get information and he didn’t give any information and hung up on them. The receptionist said he called back about 5 minutes later and said “I know she doesn’t have money. Tell her I’ll save her cat if she comes home”. He knows how much my cat means to me. He found me the first time I left because his mom helped him sew an air tag into the lining of the cat carrier. He knew if I was to ever leave him I wouldn’t leave my cat. One time my ex threw him out of the house to hurt me while I was at work he refused to leave the porch. My ex then tried squirting him with a water bottle and when that didn’t work, he sprayed him with the hose. He basically got waterboarded and still would not leave. He is my soul cat. When I got to the vet and they told me what happened I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve had in awhile. I’ve had my cat for ten years and he has never gotten sick or injured. He has a UTI and a fractured foot from falling. The vet thinks he probably got his foot hurt first and that led to the UTI since he wasn’t using the litter box. I noticed he was slightly limping a few days ago but I couldn’t get him into the vet yet. The UTI developed quickly. I was naive in thinking the vet would save a pet's life even if the owner can’t pay upfront but it isn’t like a human going into the ER. I’ve spent so much money and time trying to get away from my ex while also trying to live a normal safe life for my daughter. Once again something happens and he now knows the city we are in. I’m not running again because I can’t. I don’t think he will drive up here because like I said I’m a few states away but man did this bring back my paranoia and irrational fear. I changed the chip information but the damage is done, I was a fucking idiot for not doing it sooner. This is my fault, I'm so damn tired. Relevant Comments: Commenter: Why did they use the microchip to get your number? Did your mom not have your most recent number to give them or something? Could you not be reached at work? That’s just weird to me. OOP: My mom was flustered because she knew the ER vet was going to be expensive and knew I couldn't pay but she couldn't answer any questions because she didn't know. Didn't know how old he was or if he had his shots. I can't take my phone into my work building and she didn't know the manager's phone number. I was able to pay partial with scratchpay but not all which is heartbreaking. A broken heart and frustrating anger is what I feel too. Commenter: I just don’t understand why the vet would go through the trouble of scanning the chip and calling the numbers on there instead of just asking your mom for your number?? Seems like a lot of grief could have been avoided and the clinic had to do more work to call a company and get the phone numbers. OOP: I've had to change my number over 6 times in a three month time span, my mom didn't know it off the top of her head. Commenter: If you are communicating with your mom it would be in her phone. If it changes so often, the last number in her phone would be more accurate than a microchip which is less likely to be updated. This is very strange. OOP: I was at work, I can not have my personal phone on me and my cat was having a medical emergency. My mom didn't know how old my cat is or if he had his shots. They had alot of questions she had no answer to so they scanned the chip to get information. Editor's note: Some people commented on the first BORU that OOP's ex was a police officer. However, I can't find anything in OOP's posts or comments that confirms this, nor has she said anything about it. (Nothing shows up when checking deleted comments either.) It's definitely possible, but I just wanted to address it here since it was brought up so often. submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I have a brick planter along my front porch currently no plants only dirt. I have been thinking of turning it into a small pond with some nice plants and floating plants I have a huge mosquito problem so I wanted to put mosquito fish in there, I just don’t have any idea how to go about it and what I would need as far as equipment like pump/ filter or would it be a expensive project? I also have a NL aquarium inside with very actively breaking guppies so maybe I would put some in there as well? Help what kind of expenses would I be looking at? submitted by /u/Fit-Court8840 to r/ponds [link] [comments]

We’ve moved from a condo into a house which means I can finally decorate for Halloween outside! We are expecting our first baby in early October so I don’t want to spend too much money on decorations, but I do want to have something done on our front porch. I’ll be getting some mums for the front planters and we have some lanterns as well but that’s it in terms of what we have already. We have about a 30 foot walkway from the street to our steps, then about 5 steps up to the porch. There’s about 7-10 feet of porch space on either side of the front door, so it’s not a super small space. I’m not a crafty/DIY person so not looking to take on any projects. Anyone have any ideas how I could make a front porch look great for less than $500? submitted by /u/willowblush to r/halloween [link] [comments]

Bought our first house and redid everything. While I’m familiar with some interior design, I’d never tried my hand at landscape design. In an attempt to reduce the amount of water usage (that’s Southern California living for you), I ended up coming up with this idea of splitting the yard by the path to create a drought tolerant/low maintenance side. I wanted to get rid of the old panel design underneath the windows but couldn’t find new siding to match the original (it was a weird shape/cut), so I added stacked stone there and we created a planter box around the whole front of the house. Added the fencing (was recommended red balau from a lumber guy) to help keep the kids somewhat contained, and went crazy trying to research what kind of plants and how many/where to plant. I’ve always wanted a willow but found out they’re super invasive, EXCEPT for Australian willows so I went with that. Can’t wait for that to grow into a big tree (in 5 years). Also ended up redoing the porch with black limestone and grabbed an antique double rocker to finish it out (also replaced the front door and siding of course). My wife loves it but I’m always second guessing myself and open to learning/getting better. Any glaring issues you experts see? (I’ll say in hindsight I wish we went with a darker red paver for the path and that the stacked stone was a little less warm). Either way, relieved and grateful it’s done! submitted by /u/kindacool22 to r/landscaping [link] [comments]

Hi, I love mixed planters, already have 6 of them set up but I need to make 2 more for the front porch planters. All the “thrillers” I’ve used so far are spikes, looking for something a little different- full sun exposure. Any suggestions? The rest of the pot will have sweet potato vines, vincas/periwinkles and Pentas. Container is about 14-16” wide. submitted by /u/Miserable-Deer9808 to r/gardening [link] [comments]

I'm back, but none of the llamas are surprised. I'm now taking name suggestions because apparently this is never going to be over. If you need a little history lesson, check my post history for full details and here's a TL;DR. My mother went psycho over my decision to terminate a pregnancy. She sent me a card from my unborn fetus for Mother's Day, and when she didn't get a response from me, she drove 12 hours to ambush BF and I in the driveway. Yayyyy. So after we ran her off our property, and heeding the advice of you lovely llamas here, we had a long discussion about what we needed to do to protect ourselves from her insanity. I'm a list person, so we debated pros and cons for the better part of two hours. We agreed we were in need of security cameras and installed those as soon as we were able. We were both hesitant about moving, we love our location and we waited a long time for this house so we've added this to the "in case of emergency" docket. At the suggestion of one of you angels, I bought a copy of "How to Disappear" and have been dog-earing it frequently. But so far that's all that had changed since we saw her last. This past Friday I was having a really shitty day. My boss was in uncommonly frantic form and when he's stressed, I'm stressed. I'm halfway through my lunch (aka shoveling salad into my face while I reply to emails) when my cell phone starts ringing. It's a number I don't recognize, plus my phone had been going off all morning with email alerts so I let it go to voicemail and try to keep working. Five minutes later, it's the same number calling again, but I'm under the gun and I get solicitors calling often (I registered with the Do Not Call List, what gives??) so I screen the call and send it straight to voicemail. Not even a minute later, they're calling again so I finally answer. "This is No-Name" "Hi, umm so do you have red and white hound dog?" *Completely taken aback* "Umm yes, what is this regarding?" "Okay well I think he got out of your yard or something because he's sitting in the front seat of my pick-up." "WHAT. WHERE. HOW. WHERE ARE YOU?" "Hey it's ok! I'm at (address two blocks from our house) near the Starbucks." "I'm on my way! Don't go anywhere!" "OK, but hurry." I have a 35 minute commute to work, so I tell my (already irate) boss that there's an emergency and I have to go home for an hour. I'm already frantic, I love my dogs more than I think I could ever love human children and they've been there for me through the worst parts of my life. On the drive there I'm going over and over in my mind how he possibly could've gotten loose. BF left for work about an hour after I did. Whenever we leave the dogs alone, both of them stay inside the house in their crates. I'm checking my phone and realize that the alerts I was getting this morning were not work emails, and I should've been paying attention. They were security camera alerts with video bursts of a certain psycho formerly known as MY MOM looking all around the entryway. She's lifting our planters and welcome mat, running her hands along the rafter boards above the door and searching all around. It's clear to me she's checking for a spare key (like I'd be that stupid) and when she finds nothing, she disappears around the side of the house. Back door camera gets a beautiful shot of her lobbing a garden rock through the glass panes in the door before she gets inside. Cameras catch her leaving again around 20 minutes later, leaving the back door wide open. The last alert I got was the dogs sprinting for freedom, about 10 minutes after she'd left. So of course, I'm losing my shit. I don't know what to do, do I need to go home first, or do I go get my dog? WHERE is my other dog? Does this man know my mother? Is she trying to trap me? At a loss, I call 911 and report my home being broken into. I tell them that I'd also like an officer to meet me at the address given by the man who called about my dog and I get there just before the officer shows up. Officer looks like he belongs in a Rambo movie and has the meanest look on his face I've ever seen, but when I approach him his expression softens. I start to explain to him what's going on and why I asked him to meet me when he cuts me off. "Don't worry, I'm aware of the situation. Why don't you go ahead and call this guy back and we'll go get your dog. He doesn't bite, does he?" Thank god for cops with empathy, I was shaking at this point. I call the man back and he tells me he's in a black Silverado which I locate immediately across the parking lot. I can see my dog in the cab, he's panting next to a mid-50s looking guy with salt-and-pepper hair. Officer Rambo and I walk slowly over to the truck, and Salt-and-Pepper hair guy looks a little concerned when he catches sight of the policeman with me. "Uh oh, this dog must belong to someone important!" he says nervously. Officer Rambo wastes no time and launches into interview mode. The man explains he found my dog around the playground area inside our neighborhood and got my phone number off his tags. Officer asks him about his own whereabouts during the time of the break-in and Salt-and-Pepper guy looks perplexed. "I found him and I called, that's all I know. I was on my way home for lunch and I noticed the poor guy limping, so I looped a cord around him and called his momma. Sweet dog, don't know what happened to him before then. I figure he's gonna need a vet, his feet are hurting him awful." My head whips around, my panic renewed as I try to assess Bo's injury. Officer Rambo goes and lets my boy out of the front seat and when he jumps down he yelps and rolls off his onto his side. I grab his foot carefully and try to get a good look at it, but my poor dog is yelping and crying whenever I try and I see blood leaking out and staining his white fur. All the blood is rushing to my face at this point and I can't contain the angry tears that fall. Interview complete, Officer Rambo offers to follow me back to my house. I ask if he can follow me while take my dog to a veterinarian first and we get there within 15 minutes. Waiting to check in at the vet, I call my boss and apologize profusely for leaving him in the lurch, but I won't be returning to work today. Then I call BF and explain as calmly as I can what's going on and ask if anyone has called about our other dog. He says no, but that he's leaving work early so he can come home and help. Leaving Bo at the vet's office, I make it explicitly clear to the vet techs that he is not to be released to anyone except me personally. Paranoia has set in pretty hard and nowhere is safe, I have to be sure that he's going to be ok. Officer Rambo is outside waiting for me and we head back to my house. Freaking out internally, I had no idea what to expect when I got home. I built the scene up in my mind to be a horrifying nuclear fallout style disaster, so seeing the house still standing was encouraging at least. Inside there is minimal destruction. A few open drawers, some papers littering the kitchen floor. The living room electronics and valuables are still there. The bedroom is another story. My clothes have all been ripped from their hanging and scattered all over the floor, many of the items slashed and torn including my favorite dress. My vanity mirror was smashed and glass pieces were everywhere. The only items stolen were the little lockbox in the closet (around $500 in here plus my birth certificate, social security card and passport) and my jewelry box. BF is already at the house talking to the officers on scene and I make a beeline for him. He wraps me up in his arms and I take a few calming breaths before giving my statement to the police. Thankfully, Officer Rambo has this mostly under control. He fills in cop #2 about the man finding Bo and everything I'd told him so far. After asking about identifying information regarding the perpetrator (bitch), forwarding video evidence from our phones and taking a few pictures, Officer Rambo gives us the rundown. Police are putting out a warrant for her arrest and when they find her, they'll call me. He gives me his card and they leave. There's a long silence after the door closes, like neither of us wants to speak first. BF looks at me in this tired way but before he can speak, we get the best news we've had all day. It's our neighbors and they found my other dog, Lady. She was spotted dodging traffic one street over and the neighbors ended up chasing her underneath their porch stairs. We got there as quick as we could and we notice the bloody paw prints leading around in circles and end under the stairs. It took some time coax her back out, (she's always been skittish and fearful) but we finally got her out, thanked our neighbors and rushed to the vet. Both dogs had glass from the back door embedded in their paws, and Lady had her stomach pumped after they found dark chocolate, complete with wrapper, in her stomach. Antibiotics, bandages that need changing every day and two majorly sedated dogs later, BF and I are not upset anymore. We are fucking FURIOUS. Saturday we cleaned up what she'd broken and put the string of events together. She approached the house after BF left, so she was clearly watching us. She was obviously looking for money and valuables, not sure how she knew what was in the lockbox. She put foil wrapped dark chocolate in the crates with the dogs, not sure if she opened the cages before or after this. Bo's was left half chewed in his crate, and poor Lady still doesn't feel good after the vet found hers. Then upon finding nothing else she wanted, she left through the back door. Jury is out on whether or not she purposefully let the dogs out or just did so negligently. So we've started a couple new lists. The first list was a list of crimes we plan to press charges over. Breaking and entering. Theft of personal property. Stalking and harassment. Poisoning an animal. Reckless endangerment. Murder. Rape. Whatever will stick to her ass, we'll throw. The second list was a list of things we needed to do like call the landlord, set up a post office box, check cost of secret service detail, etc. to begin the process of disappearing completely. The third list was of rental properties owned by our landlord, we want to be out of this place before the end of July. The police picked her up yesterday morning, she was getting gas near the state line headed back toward her home state and she drove off without paying. What a class act. Officers said she went quietly without much resistance, so I'm gearing up for her to play poor innocent me again. Good try bitch, but I've got you on camera throwing a rock through my door. Thanks for listening llama friends. I'll pen another update when I have more, until then, hug your babies, furry or otherwise. submitted by /u/no_name_offered to r/JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]