Apartment Essentials

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/YogurtclosetOk8317 WIBTA If I Refused To Be A Bridesmaid In My Best Friend’s Wedding? Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole Original Post Sept 28, 2023 So I (25F) recently learned that one of my best friends from college, Lila (25F) is engaged. I’m incredibly happy for her, and I was initially excited until she told me what her and her fiancé Ben’s (27M) plans are for the wedding. For some background, I met Lila in college. We were dorm roomies in freshman year, then roommates again at a nearby apartment in junior year. Senior year, she moved in with Ben and I got a new roommate. A few months later, the pandemic began. Ben and Lila used the pandemic to try and develop interests together. Both of them enjoy their at-home movie dates, so they tried to find film and tv series to watch together. A month into this endeavor, one of Ben’s friends suggests Game of Thrones, and to say they got hooked is an understatement. Aside from her chosen field of study/work, I have legitimately never seen Lila so passionate about something. It became her and Ben’s life. They watched the series, read the books, and even started dressing up for conventions. I thought it was super sweet, but I’m not much of a high fantasy person, and I’ve heard the show is heavy on gore and SA, which I have a lot of trouble sitting through. Lila did invite once to a re-watch party she and Ben hosted the next year (2021) but I declined and told her why, and she’s not made efforts to get me interested since and says she gets it. While I would definitely call Lila and Ben’s interest in the show obsessive, they don’t push it onto other people and it’s not caused issues so far when me or other friends aren’t into it. That being said, I’m worried that if I refuse to be a bridesmaid in her wedding due to her Game of Thrones theme, I’m worried she’ll actually take it poorly. I don’t know if this makes me an asshole, but I genuinely do not want to put money into dress/hair/makeup for me to be styled as an imaginary character for a wedding. It feels ridiculous. She and her husband are going to be married dressed as their favorite characters (who are also either in a relationship or they think they should be? All the names are hard to keep up with and I get them confused), and the bridesmaids and groomsmen will also be styled to look like other characters, and the guests will be asked to wear the “house colors” of the character the bride or the groom is dressed as, depending on which one invited them. We haven’t been “assigned” characters yet, but I don’t care, I don’t want to do it. I want Ben and Lila to have their special day, and I want it to be what they want, but I don’t want to pay good money for what are essentially costumes of fake people. It feels weird, but I want to be supportive and not be a dick. WIBTA if I backed out? EDIT: Just to clarify two things: my main concern is how much money I’ll have to sink into this because she doesn’t want simple dresses that sort of go with the characters, she wants full (somewhat extensive) costuming and most likely expensive styled lace fronts. I don’t want to sink money into something that I’m going to feel ridiculous wearing. Also, I wasn’t necessarily asked, I was just added to a group chat and she said “you’re all going to be my bridesmaids!” I replied excitedly before she started rolling out all of these expectations. EDIT 2: I can’t keep up with these comments, but I’m seeing some common threads. No I don’t think her wedding idea is stupid. No it’s not the theme that’s throwing me off. No I don’t hate the show. She wants us to get new custom wigs and costumes, it will be at serious expense to each of us, and she will be keeping it all afterwards to display in her Game of Thrones room. I love Lila and I think her wedding theme is going to be fun, I just don’t know if I can financially keep up, and if I could, it would be a lot of money going to something I really won’t be comfy in that I then have to turn over to her, so I’ll never get any more use out it. That’s where my conflicting lies. I do not hate her or her theme or the show, I’m just worried about being physically uncomfortable in an expensive costume, that will then go on a mannequin. It’s also going to be an outdoor ceremony in spring and I’m worried about the layers getting too warm. VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE RELEVANT COMMENTS Pesec1 NAH at this point. They have a right to have wedding the way they want, you have no obligation to be a part of it. That said, instead of flat out backing out, you may consider being upfront about limits to your expenses and time commitment. Also, if they both dress in red and get blonde hair, be concerned. OOP Thank you for the advice! I do really hope she has a wonderful wedding, I’m sure it’s going to be amazing and there’s going to be a lot of details going into it, I just don’t know if I can spend money to basically cosplay for a day. I think she’s going to be a red haired girl, if that helps? ~ xrelaht INFO: is this really more expensive than it would normally be? Being in a wedding party is often costly. Gotta rent a tux or buy a dress you’ll never wear again, get your hair done with the bride, etc. OOP Quite a bit more expensive, and I read back our texts. She’s going to be keeping our costumes for her Game of Thrones room. xrelaht If she wants to keep them, she can pay for them. Whats the cost looking like? If they were willing to pay I wouldn’t care if they put me in a paper sack honestly. If the limit was 1k I’d pay. But we’re looking at a minimum of like 3k Who is her friend/the bride cosplaying as? Some commenters have helped me figure out it’s a girl named Sansa. When I googled that one the pics looked like what Lila showed me. I don’t know who Ben is, I just know she made a comment about how his hair is dark enough/right length that he won’t need a wig, just some styling. He’s got dark brown hair, basically black in some lighting. Does that help at all, bc telling people Lila’s character was a redhead helped Final Update Sept 29, 2023 (Next Day) I got a warning about word count after my last edit so I’m dropping the info here. Ben is dressing as someone named Sandor. Okay so, I decided to read up on the characters they’re dressing as, and I’m noping out of this wedding. I’m also done answering questions and dealing with this post. Bye Editors Note: A Sansa and Sandor wedding cosplay is just wrong because it turns a relationship based on survival, trauma, and fear into a romantic fairytale. In the story, Sansa is a terrified child prisoner while the Hound is a battle-hardened, adult warrior who at one point even threatens her at knifepoint. While he occasionally protects her, their bond is defined by a massive age gap and an intense power imbalance, not love THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwaway17274829 My [25M] Wife [25F] has 1000+ matches on tinder, we are HS sweethearts, have a young son Originally posted to r/relationship_advice TRIGGER WARNING: Fears of infidelity, PPD Original Post June 10, 2019 Hi r/relationship_advice, longtime lurker, first time poster. Using throwaway since my wife knows my Reddit. I’ll be slightly changing details and ages as well. I [25M] have had a solid relationship with my wife [25F] since the beginning. We met in middle school and started dating as sophomore’s. Even back in 8th grade we knew we would end up together; we just couldn’t date at the time due to her parents wishes, which was fine (in retrospect, I, nor any other 8th grader, is ready for any sort of committed relationship). We always knew. Once during freshman year, she was being bullied by some senior soccer players (she was on the team). It was just standard teenage crap, but I wrote her a card telling her how much her friendship meant to me, how glad I was that she was in my life, and I gave her a small necklace too. Nothing expensive; in fact, it’s made of plastic. But she loved it, hugged me, told me that she never wanted us to devolve into strangers, and she has worn the necklace essentially every day since. Now I fear that, if my mental health is of any importance to me, I may be forced to make a stranger. We went to the same college (she followed me to school, something I advised her not to do unless she wanted to go to the institution on its own merits- she insisted she did, and that I had nothing to do with it), dated throughout, went to parties together, etc. I never worried about her fidelity, and she never worried about my own, something I thought was a good sign. If she was worried about my faithfulness, I thought, she may be projecting about her own struggles with upholding our mutual trust. Fast forward to two years ago. We are both newly graduates. I get a solidly paying job right out of college, as a writer for a local newspaper. I also took on editing duties, and being in a pretty big city, I was payed well and was (is) actually a minor celebrity in the area- I also go on TV to report from time to time, and am featured as a guest on some local programs. My then-GF and I get an apartment in the city, she also has a decent job as a manager at a local restaurant. Things were going smoothly. I’m not being arrogant; this is an important detail for the next bit. Around 18 months ago, I get a call from my GF. She’s pregnant. I, being a 23 year old at the time, was of course a bit frazzled. I considered the options in my head (adoption, abortion, being a father). I didn’t raise those first two options to my then-GF; I thought that may come off as insensitive. She wanted to keep it. I figured I was young, wealthy, mature for my age (though I suppose most young adults thing that). I agreed that we should keep it, and once that decision was made, I got pretty excited at the prospect of being a father. Pregnancy went well, until the very end. Then-GF got injured, she dealt with depression after that, irrationally think that the baby was hurt, despite our doctor confirming that it was fine. Idiotically, I decided to propose to her. I wanted to marry her for sure, and it would be good for the baby to have a mom and dad who were married, I thought. I also wanted to cheer her up. We got married a few months after the birth of our son. She got serious postpartum depression, and my job got more demanding. I wasn’t able to be home as much. My status grew, and my wife was still carrying a little weight (still not overweight, but she was clearly upset about it). She seemed really insecure that I was cheating, but I wasn’t. Not even close. I’d never even consider that. Last week my wife leaves her phone on our kitchen table as she does the dishes. It vibrates and I look over at it. I wasn’t trying to snoop (sometimes when a phone vibrates, your first reaction is to take a glance, you know?). It was a new tinder match. My heart instantly started racing, but my wife was across the room, so I didn’t pick it up to further investigate. I couldn’t sleep that night for obvious reasons, and my wife finally knocked out around one in the morning (baby keeps us both up). My curiosity getting the best of me, I open her phone (we each have our fingerprints registered on the others phone). She has over 1000 matches. I didn’t dare look at the conversations. It would’ve killed me. I put the phone down, and don’t sleep at all that night. It’s around a week later, and I’ve probably slept a total of 13 hours since then. I can’t eat; when my wife asks what’s wrong, I just chalk it up to my work, which is also getting effected. I’m at a loss, Reddit. I can’t talk to my friends about this, since a lot of them are also close with my wife, and I’m not sure she’s actually met up with any of the matches, so I don’t want to make a big deal over nothing. Sorry for the long post, my mind has been racing forever and I haven’t slept. TL;DR Wife has numerous matches on tinder, may be insecure. Young son in the picture. RELEVANT COMMENTS idklikewhat The mind creates so many possibly reasons, situations, outcomes. Can be so overwhelming. The truth is so much simpler. Bringing up the subject is what is best. Get to the bottom of it. I would say directly. Maybe just be honest and say you saw a tinder notification pop up on her phone. It’s been eating at you ever since. What’s really going on here? OOP She’s been down lately, I don’t want to do anything to upset her, especially if she does have a good explanation. idklikewhat If there is a reasonable explanation. Then it shouldn’t bring her down.. right? OOP Yeah, but she might be upset that I thought that she might be cheating. She’s been emotional lately, and as I said, insecure. Update June 18, 2019 (8 days later) I finally worked up the balls to confront my wife over this three days ago, on Sunday. We went out to brunch, and after, I told her straight up that I saw a tinder notification. She told me that she uses it as a confidence boaster, something not so surprising. She then opened her profile and showed that she hadn’t talked to any of the guys she matched with; I scrolled around for a bit, something she let me do, and found that she was telling the truth. There were only incoming messages, no outgoing. I told her that that made me very uncomfortable, and that I still loved her very much and that she shouldn’t be unconfident. She said that she was insecure about her pregnancy body, she didn’t think I was attracted to her anymore, she had nagging thoughts that I was having an affair (not true at all), and that she would never see another man. I asked her to delete it, and she did instantly. She told me that, if I was still paranoid, I had every right to snoop on her phone from time to time without permission. I told her I had no intention of doing that (I dont) because I don’t want to be “that husband.” We’re off to couples therapy, but I think we’ll be alright. I just hope she gets her confidence back soon; she has no reason to be insecure. TL;DR Wife insecure as I expected, used tinder as a confidence booster. Proved it, now off to couples therapy. TOP COMMENT espanasocialista She admitted that she fucked up, and you guys made the decision to seek therapy and move forward - this is the best possible outcome for this situation. Rebuilding trust will be hard, but you’ve got this. Best of luck to you both! THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Just got a new apartment last month and needing to get basic necessities. Can’t really think of everything I might need. Advice please? Because I’m missing some essentials and not sure what else to get. submitted by /u/mil0wCS to r/CasualConversation [link] [comments]

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThatOneCloneTrooper For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house. Originally posted to r/creepyencounters Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU TRIGGER WARNING: Stalking, invasion of privacy, breaking and entry MOOD SPOILER: Extremely creepy Original Post May 6, 2026 I'm a man in my 20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block. I've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life. The longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if that even. However, across my house I kept finding long hairs on the floor. Like, long brunette hairs, at least 5-6 inches. Sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere. Bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cupboard, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor and sofas etc etc. I've been single since November and clean often enough that I'm certain it's not my ex-girlfriends' hairs. Plus the colour doesn't match anyway, she had solid black hair, these are more a light brunette. Plus, finding them in the places like the shower? Where running water is hitting all the sides 5+ times a week? Anyway, I waved it off as "well I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes"... Well. One day (this past April) I finished my early am gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go work that day, so naturally I start to walk home all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the 5th floor (the upper most floor) of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only 1 apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway. JUST as I whip a right to go up the last set of stairs from the 4th floor to the 5th floor I see my neighbour's (on the 3rd floor) daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye-contact. We've never spoken before, mostly because we've never had a reason to but also because out of respect I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19-21ish and I'm slightly older. The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs. I gave a confused "hello?" - at this point I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something? A cup of sugar maybe I don't know? I was expecting her to reply with something like "oh hi, do you have any xyz"... Nope. She gave a silent "hey" and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me did I notice her hair was wet. Like. Fresh out the shower a minute ago wet. Now I'm not saying she showered in my house. Or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something. And most generic brand shampoos smell the same. But don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair colour matches the hairs I would find around my apartment. And like I said before, they were EVERYWHERE. In my bed to in my sock draws. And if it is a case of me having a stalker? How did she know I came home early enough to bolt out the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras, its an older building from before 2000. And why would she be stalking me? For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation, I maybe saw her 20 times in the past 2 years given that I work and she (presumably) studies or works too. As all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid 2 minutes grappling with what just happened. I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock near waist level and a 2nd more secure lock with a different key around shoulder level. I drop my bag, throw off my shoes and run to the shower. And yep. It's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. I'm a confrontational person, not that I go looking for fights but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the 3rd floor I went, knocked on the door of my apparent stalker and her family. She opens the door but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door. "Yes?" - "Umm can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside?" - "I just had to get something, it won't happen again.. ok bye see you" Door closed. This happened last month, I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on the steps coming up to my door so the 4th apartment still have their privacy. So far so good, I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she'd been living in or going in or whatever in to my apartment since January because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed? I do now also always take the elevator and avoid the 3rd floor like the plague. EDIT: I'm not really worried about my safety because 1. I'm 200lb and do a lot of fighting training and 2. The new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally 3. I told the old retired husband and wife on the 4th floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month (I didn't want to start spreading rumours and gossip) and asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe. Just creeped out. Like my personal space had been violated. EDIT 2: Someone DMed me to check my coats and bags for airtags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff so I think I would have 100% found it by now given how often I clean but I'll defo do another sweep of my stuff. Update May 12, 2026 (Re-upload - Mod said first post broke rule 6 so I've taken a bunch of details out) Hi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching neighbour coming out of my apartment having used my shower. My cousin’s husband is a police officer so I went to him directly about filing a report. He came over to my apartment first as I gave him a visual break down of what happened on the stairs and changes odd things I’d noticed in my apartment since January. Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food. And how my door was unlocked that day. Though I did a thorough clean following the event on the stairs my police friend was able to still find some hairs and so he bagged those up. I gave him my statement in detail and some dates best I could, when I remember finding the first hair; when I first noticed food going missing etc. Also he advised me not to talk to the family not even with a friend to avoid any confusion or get lawyers involved or muddy the waters with accusations. With all that done he left and came back 2-3 days later. He and his partner went to talk to the family on Sunday because they knew both parents would likely be home then. Long story short she confessed to everything immediately and broke down into tears and apologised once my police friend brought up how 5 months of entering someone’s house even with keys is still very much an offence and she could easily end up with a sentence of some should I pursue it. And that that sentence could very easily involve the inside of a jail cell irregardless of if she stole something or not. (I don’t know how true this is, it might have just been my friend and his partner pressing and exaggerating for a confession but it worked). They talked for an hour with the parents and her all in the same room to get answers from her. Then the same day he came up to mine with his partner and they gave me the breakdown. Answers to commonly asked questions below: ⁃ how did she get in/have her own keys? The locks on our doors are the type that use a code on the lock barrel that only the manufacturer or partnered/approved locksmiths have access to. She knew this because her parents got the locks changed when they first moved in. And in fact she used the same locksmith from all the way back then. The locksmith presumably remembered the family and apartment but just didn’t pay attention to it being the 5th floor this time instead of her own 3rd floor. So he came over and took the barrel out, saw the code, went and made a set of keys and done. I was none the wiser. Both my locks on my door are different brands but presumably they operate in the same way so having 2 locks made no difference. ⁃ what was she doing in my apartment? Anyone who said she just needed space, you were right. She has 2 younger step-siblings and her mother is a tutor (not a teacher as I presumed previously, she tutors at home) so at any given point there’s always some kids around the house. She would say to her parents she was going out to study or work or a girl friends house and use my house as a hotel while she studied or relaxed. The reason she used mine was partly because she knew it would be empty but also because my schedule was predictable. As I work an average 9-5 like everyone else but leave the house at 6-6:30 to get gym done too that essentially gave her the house from 6 to 5. ⁃ How long? My guess was right. It started in January, once she figured I’d broken up with my gf at the time around November. My gf would stay at mine when I went to work and back sometimes so yea that would have been an interesting situation if they had crossed paths. ⁃ So then how did she knew I was coming home early that day? And that I wasn’t going to work straight after gym like usual and so she bolted out the shower? Or on the days I didn’t go gym how did she know not to come in? Two fold. Firstly I go to a commercial gym in my country and so they have an app. Irregardless of if you’re a member or not, one of the things the app lets you see is how many people are in each branch so you can see how full it is. All you have to do is download it and scan the QR code at the entrance by the turnstiles to add it to the “my gyms” tab. It literally shows you like “Branch No. 21 (Address) - 9/50 - 18% full”, she would refresh the app in the morning and if it went up by 1 around 6-6:30am and she heard me go downstairs or use the elevator (not hard when it’s 6am and the apartment is otherwise silent) then she would know the house is empty. Now for the creepiest most messed up bit of it all. She had put an AirTag on my car. She insisted that she had only put it recently and initially just presumably gambled that I wouldn’t be home sooner than expected (or maybe she just put an ear to the door), but then one thing lead to another and yea. (I don’t know how much I believe this, again this could be an attempt to not look so guilty) That day when we clashed she refreshed the app and saw I left the gym, but then my car didn’t move, she connected the dots and tried to leave asap. When she heard me coming up the stairs she didn’t have time to lock up and so we met on the stairs with my door remaining closed but not locked. (Extra detail, the AirTag was stuck to under my car). ⁃ The using my shower? She claims she didn’t do it always just on hot days or days she couldn’t at home. I can’t deny or confirm this, like I said previously being a gym goer id shower 5+ times a week so. ⁃ How did her parents never notice? Well the dad leaves early for work, 5am ish since his bus route starts around 6. The mom is up around 6-7. But since she’s preparing for her own students for the day + her own kids to send to school she wasn’t too bothered what her eldest 20 year old daughter was doing really. She’d just say “I’m going to the college library” or “I’m going to my girlfriend’s” and that was good enough. ⁃ Did she have a thing for me like a crush? My police friend didn’t really say anything about this presumably he never asked since it’s not as important as other details or it never came back. It makes little difference. ⁃ How’s my standings with the family right now? The mum and dad both apologised to me. The mum via text and the dad in person at my door, he offered to pay for the camera I installed as his daughter was the direct cause of it but it was cheap off of amazon so I said no it’s fine. We had a 10-15 minute conversation and he was very apologetic and explained his daughter had always been extremely quiet and well behaved so something like this would never have crossed his mind in a million years. He added that his daughter’s never had a boyfriend (at least that he knows of) and only has a few friends so her social interaction skills aren’t necessarily top notch and that even when guests would come she’d hide away in the spare room. So to the few people who predicted that maybe Covid and lockdown lead to her not having good social interaction skills. You were half right. He again offered me money for my troubles like missing food, new locks and cleaning etc but I felt bad enough already I declined. He did also ask if I would press charges and I again said no. More on that below. He said he will send his daughter to apologise to me in person too when the situation has calmed down as she’s apparently very very tense and upset and hasn’t left her room in days. ⁃ Am I going to press charges? No. I’m still not happy about the situation ESPECIALLY the f**ing AirTag on my car, but the family is apologetic as well as the culprit herself and honestly no one is going to gain anything from this. I would like an apology though. (For anyone that cares about the extra detail, she got the AirTag as a gift a while back from her parents because she kept losing her stuff) ⁃ Have I seen her since? No, she won’t apparently leave her room and is terrified that I’ll press charges, though presumably her family’s told her I said I won’t. ⁃ How do I currently feel? Well I was never especially worried or nervous just really really creeped out about the whole situation. It felt like I’d been a parasite host and somehow never noticed until then. I currently still feel a little angry and a small part of me is thinking to seek “revenge” but any “revenge” I seek like money or slander is truthfully going to impact the parents more than her. - Do I feel bad for her? Truthfully? No. She’s not 10. She’s 20 or something and educated so yea you should be remorseful, feel guilty and scared. Get over that hump and we’ll talk. Plus there’s loads of spaces for young adults like public libraries and her college spaces. By no means was my house the only viable option. ⁃ Finally. Did she use my bed? Or wear my clothes? Believe it or not. Yes. She did. ⁃ Any advice I can give? Check your wifi devices. If I had checked that I would have noticed her phone and laptop all the way back when. Obviously my wifi modem is in my house and so she helped herself to that. Again it’s one of those things. How often does one check their wifi devices. Truthfully, with all my family visiting me and their devices I probably wouldn’t have noticed 1 extra phone amongst the existing 10+ but I 100% WOULD have noticed the 1 extra laptop. So let that be a lesson to all. And yes I have removed her devices from the list and changed my password. THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7 submitted by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) OOP: u/ThatOneCloneTrooper Published on: r/creepyencounters Thanks to u/IcedWarlock for the recommendation! Story is: CONCLUDED Story timeline Main Post: May 06, 2026 Final Update: May 12, 2026 Main Post May 06, 2026 For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house. I'm a man in my 20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block. I've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life. The longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if that even. However, across my house I kept finding long hairs on the floor. Like, long brunette hairs, at least 5-6 inches. Sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere. Bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cupboard, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor and sofas etc etc. I've been single since November and clean often enough that I'm certain it's not my ex-girlfriends' hairs. Plus the colour doesn't match anyway, she had solid black hair, these are more a light brunette. Plus, finding them in the places like the shower? Where running water is hitting all the sides 5+ times a week? Anyway, I waved it off as "well I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes"... Well. One day (this past April) I finished my early am gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go work that day, so naturally I start to walk home all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the 5th floor (the upper most floor) of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only 1 apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway. JUST as I whip a right to go up the last set of stairs from the 4th floor to the 5th floor I see my neighbour's (on the 3rd floor) daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye-contact. We've never spoken before, mostly because we've never had a reason to but also because out of respect I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19-21ish and I'm slightly older. The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs. I gave a confused "hello?" - at this point I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something? A cup of sugar maybe I don't know? I was expecting her to reply with something like "oh hi, do you have any xyz"... Nope. She gave a silent "hey" and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me did I notice her hair was wet. Like. Fresh out the shower a minute ago wet. Now I'm not saying she showered in my house. Or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something. And most generic brand shampoos smell the same. But don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair colour matches the hairs I would find around my apartment. And like I said before, they were EVERYWHERE. In my bed to in my sock draws. And if it is a case of me having a stalker? How did she know I came home early enough to bolt out the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras, its an older building from before 2000. And why would she be stalking me? For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation, I maybe saw her 20 times in the past 2 years given that I work and she (presumably) studies or works too. As all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid 2 minutes grappling with what just happened. I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock near waist level and a 2nd more secure lock with a different key around shoulder level. I drop my bag, throw off my shoes and run to the shower. And yep. It's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. I'm a confrontational person, not that I go looking for fights but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the 3rd floor I went, knocked on the door of my apparent stalker and her family. She opens the door but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door. "Yes?" - "Umm can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside?" - "I just had to get something, it won't happen again.. ok bye see you" Door closed. This happened last month, I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on the steps coming up to my door so the 4th apartment still have their privacy. So far so good, I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she'd been living in or going in or whatever in to my apartment since January because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed? I do now also always take the elevator and avoid the 3rd floor like the plague. EDIT: I'm not really worried about my safety because 1. I'm 200lb and do a lot of fighting training and 2. The new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally 3. I told the old retired husband and wife on the 4th floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month (I didn't want to start spreading rumours and gossip) and asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe. Just creeped out. Like my personal space had been violated. EDIT 2: Someone DMed me to check my coats and bags for airtags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff so I think I would have 100% found it by now given how often I clean but I'll defo do another sweep of my stuff.   COMMENTS RideThatBridge How in the hell is she getting in?? You need to inform her parents and the landlord and explain you will call the police if you even suspect she’s back in there. Locks changed, hidden cameras inside and obvious one on outside of your door. WTF?!? OOP Genuinely no idea. Off the top of my head maybe she called a locksmith and did the old "I'm the gf/owner and got locked out" deal. But even then, that doesn't explain how she'd get a key? Unless locksmiths offer that service and I'm not aware. I would go to the police but I have no evidence. Even the police picked up her hairs across the apartment they could easily just think we had a fling or something and now I'm trying to get a restraining order or something. I don't want to get things messed up. There's no landlord, I own the apartment, I think pretty much everyone owns theirs in our building. I would love to inform her parents but how do you even start that conversation? The dad's a bus driver who works crazy hours and the mum's a teacher (I think), both in their 50s I don't know honestly how to go about this. LifeworksGames Why do I get the feeling that this girl may just have a very tragic backstory. Either that or she was just intruding for funsies, but I doubt that. OOP She's an introvert for sure, I know her parents somewhat because they're quite the chatty type. I'm pretty sure her dads a bus driver and the mums (maybe) a teacher? They're seemingly a very normal happy and healthy family. The mum would always bring me cake on Christmas and stuff because she knows I live alone and I'd give them gifts from my travels. So really no clue (that I can pick up on) that she has a tragic home life. Pineapplegirl1234 That’s prob what time she always leaves. Imagine if you would have caught her in your shower. Wild!! OOP I go gym like 6am to 8am and work 9am to 5pm ish. So I was back home around 8:15am ish that day. If that's the case then she was waking up at 5:30 and waiting for me to leave. But why go through so much creepy extra effort just to take a shower at some guys house?? CPlus902 That's pretty fuckin' creepy. The tamest answer I can think of is that she has/had a thing for you, and instead of doing the Normal Person Thing and talking to you, flirting experimentally, and maybe even asking you out if you didn't do it first, she opted for the Very Weird Thing and started sneaking into your apartment when you weren't there. OOP The one person I told this story too IRL is a female friend I've had since we were kids. She threw out a similar theory especially when I said I noticed after my food would go missing and it wasn't me eating and forgetting. She suggested that maybe she was "role-playing" or something at my house. I mean. Definitely creepy. But yea I think a text or letter asking me to a coffee may have been the more LEGAL approach if she has a thing for me. 0123justme0123 Is it possible she had a set of keys from the prior owner of your apartment? Sometimes neighbors leave keys with each other when they go away to water plants, feed animals, take mail in, etc. Or if you did change them when you moved in did you ever lose your keys? Is there a window she could have gotten in through? However she managed it she was probably using your place as her own personal getaway space away from her family. I can't believe she would have the guts to do that, and it's still super creepy to know someone invaded your privacy and was in your home on multiple occasions. OOP I moved in before her family if I’m not mistaken, like a year before hand so I doubt they’d have any left over spare keys from the previous tenants who I never even met. It never occurred to me to change the locks when moving in mostly because I live in a small town that has like 1 mugging a year. Low crime so you know. Window is impossible I’m on the 5th floor and all my windows look out to the building so unless she’s Spider-Man it’s not happening. I’m 99% sure now following other comments she went to a lock smith and maybe lied about ID or something to get some illegal keys. Bad enough she invaded my privacy but she helped herself to everything in the house too like even my bed seemingly. kakashi_hotcakes how many bathrooms are there per unit? just one? since she had all day but was (caught) going in the morning i wonder if it started out with her and her parents needing the bathroom at the same time and rather than just waking up earlier, she decided to use yours. once she got more comfortable, she started helping herself to your food etc. since someone like that would clearly have no boundaries OOP It’s one per unit. And it’s insane if she thought that breaking into my house and making herself at home in my bedroom and kitchen via an illegal key was the better option than setting an alarm earlier. EitherOrResolution She’s a weird teenager OOP Pretty sure she’s like 19+ just because her parents told me she graduated if I’m not mistaken unless they were talking about a sibling I’ve not come across. Final update - after 6 days May 12, 2026 [UPDATE] For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house. Hi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching neighbour coming out of my apartment having used my shower. My cousin’s husband is a police officer so I went to him directly about filing a report. He came over to my apartment first as I gave him a visual break down of what happened on the stairs and changes odd things I’d noticed in my apartment since January. Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food. And how my door was unlocked that day. Though I did a thorough clean following the event on the stairs my police friend was able to still find some hairs and so he bagged those up. I gave him my statement in detail and some dates best I could, when I remember finding the first hair; when I first noticed food going missing etc. Also he advised me not to talk to the family not even with a friend to avoid any confusion or get lawyers involved or muddy the waters with accusations. With all that done he left and came back 2-3 days later. He and his partner went to talk to the family on Sunday because they knew both parents would likely be home then. Long story short she confessed to everything immediately and broke down into tears and apologised once my police friend brought up how 5 months of entering someone’s house even with keys is still very much an offence and she could easily end up with a sentence of some should I pursue it. And that that sentence could very easily involve the inside of a jail cell irregardless of if she stole something or not. (I don’t know how true this is, it might have just been my friend and his partner pressing and exaggerating for a confession but it worked). They talked for an hour with the parents and her all in the same room to get answers from her. Then the same day he came up to mine with his partner and they gave me the breakdown. Answers to commonly asked questions below: how did she get in/have her own keys? The locks on our doors are the type that use a code on the lock barrel that only the manufacturer or partnered/approved locksmiths have access to. She knew this because her parents got the locks changed when they first moved in. And in fact she used the same locksmith from all the way back then. The locksmith presumably remembered the family and apartment but just didn’t pay attention to it being the 5th floor this time instead of her own 3rd floor. So he came over and took the barrel out, saw the code, went and made a set of keys and done. I was none the wiser. Both my locks on my door are different brands but presumably they operate in the same way so having 2 locks made no difference. what was she doing in my apartment? Anyone who said she just needed space, you were right. She has 2 younger step-siblings and her mother is a tutor (not a teacher as I presumed previously, she tutors at home) so at any given point there’s always some kids around the house. She would say to her parents she was going out to study or work or a girl friends house and use my house as a hotel while she studied or relaxed. The reason she used mine was partly because she knew it would be empty but also because my schedule was predictable. As I work an average 9-5 like everyone else but leave the house at 6-6:30 to get gym done too that essentially gave her the house from 6 to 5. How long? My guess was right. It started in January, once she figured I’d broken up with my gf at the time around November. My gf would stay at mine when I went to work and back sometimes so yea that would have been an interesting situation if they had crossed paths. So then how did she knew I was coming home early that day? And that I wasn’t going to work straight after gym like usual and so she bolted out the shower? Or on the days I didn’t go gym how did she know not to come in? Two fold. Firstly I go to a commercial gym in my country and so they have an app. Irregardless of if you’re a member or not, one of the things the app lets you see is how many people are in each branch so you can see how full it is. All you have to do is download it and scan the QR code at the entrance by the turnstiles to add it to the “my gyms” tab. It literally shows you like “Branch No. 21 (Address) - 9/50 - 18% full”, she would refresh the app in the morning and if it went up by 1 around 6-6:30am and she heard me go downstairs or use the elevator (not hard when it’s 6am and the apartment is otherwise silent) then she would know the house is empty. Now for the creepiest most messed up bit of it all. She had put an AirTag on my car. She insisted that she had only put it recently and initially just presumably gambled that I wouldn’t be home sooner than expected (or maybe she just put an ear to the door), but then one thing lead to another and yea. (I don’t know how much I believe this, again this could be an attempt to not look so guilty) That day when we clashed she refreshed the app and saw I left the gym, but then my car didn’t move, she connected the dots and tried to leave asap. When she heard me coming up the stairs she didn’t have time to lock up and so we met on the stairs with my door remaining closed but not locked. (Extra detail, the AirTag was stuck to under my car). The using my shower? She claims she didn’t do it always just on hot days or days she couldn’t at home. I can’t deny or confirm this, like I said previously being a gym goer id shower 5+ times a week so. How did her parents never notice? Well the dad leaves early for work, 5am ish since his bus route starts around 6. The mom is up around 6-7. But since she’s preparing for her own students for the day + her own kids to send to school she wasn’t too bothered what her eldest 20 year old daughter was doing really. She’d just say “I’m going to the college library” or “I’m going to my girlfriend’s” and that was good enough. Did she have a thing for me like a crush? My police friend didn’t really say anything about this presumably he never asked since it’s not as important as other details or it never came back. It makes little difference. How’s my standings with the family right now? The mum and dad both apologised to me. The mum via text and the dad in person at my door, he offered to pay for the camera I installed as his daughter was the direct cause of it but it was cheap off of amazon so I said no it’s fine. We had a 10-15 minute conversation and he was very apologetic and explained his daughter had always been extremely quiet and well behaved so something like this would never have crossed his mind in a million years. He added that his daughter’s never had a boyfriend (at least that he knows of) and only has a few friends so her social interaction skills aren’t necessarily top notch and that even when guests would come she’d hide away in the spare room. So to the few people who predicted that maybe Covid and lockdown lead to her not having good social interaction skills. You were half right. He again offered me money for my troubles like missing food, new locks and cleaning etc but I felt bad enough already I declined. He did also ask if I would press charges and I again said no. More on that below. He said he will send his daughter to apologise to me in person too when the situation has calmed down as she’s apparently very very tense and upset and hasn’t left her room in days. Am I going to press charges? No. I’m still not happy about the situation ESPECIALLY the f**ing AirTag on my car, but the family is apologetic as well as the culprit herself and honestly no one is going to gain anything from this. I would like an apology though. (For anyone that cares about the extra detail, she got the AirTag as a gift a while back from her parents because she kept losing her stuff) Have I seen her since? No, she won’t apparently leave her room and is terrified that I’ll press charges, though presumably her family’s told her I said I won’t. How do I currently feel? Well I was never especially worried or nervous just really really creeped out about the whole situation. It felt like I’d been a parasite host and somehow never noticed until then. I currently still feel a little angry and a small part of me is thinking to seek “revenge” but any “revenge” I seek like money or slander is truthfully going to impact the parents more than her. Do I feel bad for her? Truthfully? No. She’s not 10. She’s 20 or something and educated so yea you should be remorseful, feel guilty and scared. Get over that hump and we’ll talk. Plus there’s loads of spaces for young adults like public libraries and her college spaces. By no means was my house the only viable option. Finally. Did she use my bed? Or wear my clothes? Believe it or not. Yes. She did. Any advice I can give? Check your wifi devices. If I had checked that I would have noticed her phone and laptop all the way back when. Obviously my wifi modem is in my house and so she helped herself to that. Again it’s one of those things. How often does one check their wifi devices. Truthfully, with all my family visiting me and their devices I probably wouldn’t have noticed 1 extra phone amongst the existing 10+ but I 100% WOULD have noticed the 1 extra laptop. So let that be a lesson to all. And yes I have removed her devices from the list and changed my password.   COMMENTS OOP to a long comment I don’t feel bad for her, I feel bad for her family. I don’t think she’s a threat to anyone at this point. Her parents will most likely have her on a very tight leash from now on. 100% there’s mental issues at play here, that combined with her not really stealing anything or doing me any major harm makes me not so mad and vengeful. I’m not trying to be all macho, I just don’t think the legal process is worth the effort. If anything happens again her names on file and the police have her noted down as someone who’s committed breaking and entering. I suspect if as much a toothpick goes missing somewhere and is reported she’ll be a suspect. Due_Addition_587 When you first posted this, I thought she was an awkward tween. She is 20 years old! Personally, I would press charges so she sees how bad this behavior is. What if she uses the info she's gained doing this to you to do things like, a) rob somebody; b) stalk somebody; c) hurt somebody. She sees she can get away scot-free. This wouldn't necessarily hurt the parents more than her - she is a grown-ass adult!! OOP I don’t think pressing any charges is worth it. It’s a long legal process and her getting a jail sentence isn’t going to make me any happier or less violated. Her parents and the police are aware of her actions and so I’m sure she’ll be on a tight leash and very well behaved from now on. dembowthennow Why did she do this? Did she ever explain her motivations? OOP Too many kids in the house. She wanted her own space. And so she welcomed herself to mine. That’s what she says at least. Take it with a grain of salt. OOP to a long thread Not so easy given that I’ve purchased this apartment, if I was only renting I’d most likely be looking to leave. I’ve put a camera on my entrance and everyone’s aware now. Parents, police, me, some of my family and her. If as the camera triggers or I get even the slightest hint of her breaking in and again I’ll rain down hell but I don’t think she has the guts at all. Ok-Appearance-866 I'm glad you got answers. If it were me, that would be the part that would have bothered me the most. Very concerning behavior on her part. I think my first call would be to the locksmith to let them know what happened. Think about it: if the locksmith had not been so lackadaisical about it all, this never would have happened to you. OOP My police friend spoke to the locksmith. He was meant to check for ID or proof of residence I’m pretty sure but didn’t. So he got a visit from the police to let him know what happened so he’s more careful next time.   This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP) Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading. Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved. submitted by /u/BigONerd to r/BORUpdates [link] [comments]

I am planning to move out of my parents house in 2-3 years and I want to slowly acquire essentials or things needed in an apartment. If I can id like to save money in the long run instead of buying everything when I first move into a place and avoid last minute purchase stress. What are the essentials I can start buying in advance and store in a storage unit before moving out? Edit: Thank you to everyone responding to my post. 😊 I’d like to also include, I do already have an emergency fund and use a HYS account. Before getting a storage unit, I have tried to store some small items either in the garage or a separate space in the house but my mom is set in her ways about certain things and it would just be best for a least the time being use a storage unit. Ideally I’d like to plan for 2-3 in advance but I know life can be unexpected and things may change. submitted by /u/AZ_babe13 to r/femalelivingspace [link] [comments]