Deck Decor

... so up to the Lido Deck for pizza at New York... had an aft verandah cabin deck six.  Well designed, small loveseat... lay out and decor understated, elegant and easy to navigate. Deck 2 and... casual options on the Lido deck of NY Pizza & Deli... is located on the main deck tucked away across from Ocean...

..., and the art and other decor is also by Colombians.    There... flowers are around the ship.    Deck 1 is where passengers board..., there are also cabins here.    Deck 2 is the Reception Desk... Restaurant, and the remaining cabins.                Deck 3 has an interior section... area is an outdoor Smoking Deck. Towards the front of the...

... shabby. As we walked along Deck 6 to our Aft stateroom... stay in cabins of that decor we would have been disappointed. ...

... – each private villa has fancy decor and its own pool. There... private pool and a sunbathing deck, and if you opt for...

7 minutes ago, LadyL1 said: Our daughter had 5192 last year. No upgraded decor but very large (no separator) with huge balcony. The deckplan above, does not do the size justice. There is no separator between bed and sofas. We can be nosy and peer down to the lower decks and the balconies are stunning. My preference would still be deck 5 even though the new deck 8s are beautiful.

... & window boxes on my deck yet! (Today!!) Feeling behind & ... much again. Didn't need excess decor pillows taking up space, in ...

laurelew said: Love your door decor, love the cookies your friend ... sold in White Caps/on Deck 10 on Glacier Day as...

... not Umi Umi, but the decor is stunning, and the food ... each evening on the pool deck     To clarify, the MDR of ...

... days and liked it. The decor is out dated, no plugs ... book it again. The aft deck on 7 felt like my ...

... center of the ship’s sitting deck. Breath wouldn’t budge him, neither... her boot echoed across flat decor.   “I am to do this...

... will be for mainly Christmas decor and maybe some old books... the joists, just like a deck is built. The issue is...

Hi, I am looking for a deck builder and DecOR comes to mind. Anyone has feedback on them? Thanks.

... was large and while the deck furniture is showing some wear... doing too much now. Yes, deck 8 so we had the ... ride was very smooth. The decor especially in the mdr is ...

... puzzle game! Design new home decor & furniture by matching candy... navigate this challenging match-3 home decor puzzle game? Room Design &...! Decorate your mansion, power-up and deck out your kitchen & garden ... new furniture and interesting home decor. Puzzle out Matchington Mansion adventure...

... have no complaints about the decor or furnishings.  Quite nice, comfortable... cruisers.  However, being up on deck 11 seems to mean the ...

... with regards to design and decor.  Very nicely done!  2) Did....  But, getting a midship, low deck cabin will help a lot.  ... for a midship cabin on deck 8 for this itinerary.  If ...

... buffet and outside dining on deck nine. The sphere is cool... loved the lightness of the decor. We've been on her twice ...

..., this time on the lower deck. It's true that in general... better view from the upper deck but I don't think we... missed much, and the lower deck doesn't feel quite as dinky-toy... squashed as the upper deck does. It's not super-generous (overhead... the train as well. The decor is still a bit naff (...

... been recent comments about the  decor, condition, and so on, and... system works.   There is new deck furniture on 9, the carpets ... are comfortable, etc.    Is the decor an older, darker style - ...

... Manhattan into a massive parking deck. I've flown all over the... scanned the impressive furniture and decor, searching for any signs of... glow on the sleek modern decor, while they marveled at the...

....    The ships are stunning, the decor more adult so to speak. ... well.  I find the top deck area on a lot of ...

.... Does NOT go with any decor and when the wife mentioned... to sit on the back deck for a bit to try...

... amongst the black and white decor of the Black Templars, greeted ... light crackled angrily, scorching the deck plate and setting fire to .... The corpse tumbled to the deck. The remaining Hosts died almost ... and tanged off of the deck and armor of the Astartes. ... threw the man to the deck. "Heretical filth. Bewitched mad men. ... then laid it onto the deck in resignation. "My Conductor told ...

I don’t think we attack them. I’m all for living and let live. The deck and garage are outdoor rooms to us. Wasp nests don’t fit in the decor scheme(). So with children, pets and Me the wasps cannot live under the deck. I’m not losing any sleep over it. Son-of-a-wrek is a big goof. He does know how to start a fire safely. I think he was putting on a show for his old Ma.

I just wanted to share these photos of our wedding, which was the best day of my life, for inspiration to other people who love colourful celebrations and also because I'm so proud of what we made happen! The bunting was kindly made by my Mum's neighbour My husband and I made the felt signs with the help of some friends My friends all clubbed together the day before to cut the ribbon and put them on all the chairs I made the handfasting rope myself and hand embroidered my husband's cuffs to match my dress (which I hand embroidered with the help of my friends, Mum, and Mother in Law over the course of the year before the wedding) We hired a maypole for guests to dance around while our folk band were playing, it went down a storm My maid of honour used eyelash glue to fix dried flowers into my hair - they stayed in place all day! My Mum and I decorated the cake with dried flowers and Brambly Hedge figurines the day before the wedding My Mum's friend made the wicker obelisks that we got married between (they also had wicker creatures attached, like dragonflies, snails, swifts, and fish, which all have meaning to us) and I tied ribbon to them to match the ribbons on our chairs. My bridesmaids all wore mismatching dresses in our colour scheme - most of the dresses were second hand, from vintage shops or depop/vinted. I had the suit made for one of my maids of honour because we both had a vert specific vision in mind! I matched the colour of the ribbon on each bridesmaid's bouquet to their dress where I could! I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user and we decked my wheelchair out with a "just married" sign, cans to pull behind me, and flowers on the arms, which our florist did. Every guest had a book (second hand) specifically chosen for them. We had bookmarks printed and each person had their name written on their bookmark, as their placecard for their seat. I bought a job lot of vintage mismatched napkins on ebay for everyone's place settings. I embroidered the names of family members and those in our bridal and grooms' parties as a thank you gift to those people for their help in everything to do with the wedding. A friend of mine makes these recycled fabric jellyfish and lent them to me for the wedding and we hung them from the trees at the venue. We had a stretch tent for the meal and late night dancing. We had mismatched bud vases down the tables with wildflowers in them, and our co-ordinator moved the ground displays from our ceremony to our head table. My mum's friend made us the little felt mice that look like me and my husband as a wedding gift and we had them on the head table too. The whole thing was such a gorgeous community effort and we both felt so surrounded by love the whole day. I can't express enough how dreamy the whole thing was. I hope you can all have wedding days as joyful as ours was! ❤️ Just editing to add vendors: - Sophie Florence took our photos 📸 - My husband's suit was made by King & Allen - Our florist was The Wallflower Florist 💐 submitted by /u/GenericUsername604 to r/wedding [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Dwaas_Bjaas to r/ModelShips [link] [comments]

Changed the buttons & added some stickers to the back of my case 😁 small changes but im proud of it Opening up my steam deck to change the buttons was… an experience. It took a blood sacrifice (i cut my finger). Hopefully i didnt break anything, i dont think i did but ya never know 🥲 (The buttons were from etsy by PortablePlayPalace) submitted by /u/P34CHE to r/SteamDeck [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/OwlcatStarrok to r/RogueTraderCRPG [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/MrToxin to r/GirlsFrontline2 [link] [comments]

Ikey passed last night December 24th. He was in bed, both in my partner and I’s arms. He was sixteen and lived such a beautiful life. We love him so much and he was the light in our home. Idk how to process this and it’s been rough. He was rescued as a kitten when my spouse found him living under a deck at a Panera bread and I’m so thankful. The boy loved Christmas, it was his favorite holiday. We celebrated early by decorating and bringing Xmas stuff out weeks in advance, especially once we found out he had Kidney Failure and Anemia. I’m trying to find the comfort in knowing that he loved Christmas so much and left us with the gift of so many wonderful memories to cherish. It just hurts so much to sit in this home. I just wish this was all a bad dream and that he’d come into bed right now. I promise to celebrate Christmas every year for him, and to continue to celebrate him every day. What I would do to hug, kiss, and smell him one more time. My beautiful boy. submitted by /u/Emodabs to r/seniorkitties [link] [comments]

my bf got me a steam deck and I immediately needed to make it spooky! My bf modded the buttons so ty to him bc it looked like a pain to do 😔 I travel a lot so it’s been very nice to have. Any game recommendations are appreciated 😊 submitted by /u/Southern-Fan-9233 to r/SteamDeck [link] [comments]

submitted by /u/Beneficial_Bottle_41 to r/Medals [link] [comments]

When I planned this party I was struggling hard to find inspiration and only found one other person showing their MTG themed party. I also don’t play MTG at all so I wasn’t really sure where to begin. What your seeing in the pictures: - Jell-O shots in the 5 mana colors (a clearer picture of the labels is at the end) - I made MTG cards for all of the food and drink (again a clearer picture of the labels is at the end) - my poor attempt to make an icecream cake look like the back of a MTG card. I got the mana symbols and magic label off of Etsy. I would not recommend trying this with an icecream cake, it was very hard to decorate and kept putting it back in the freezer so it didn’t melt. For the twist: All of the guys play MTG once a week so I didn’t want the party to be the same old thing they do. Instead I included some games they could play alongside playing MTG. Magic Bingo: everyone had a different bingo cards of things that could happen throughout the game and if they got bingo they won a prize. The Chaos Wheel: every 10 mins a timer went off and if it was your turn you had to spin the wheel. This was a huge hit! They all thought this was a great spin on things since I made the wheel only have a small chance of downsides. One guy got the “untap all lands” which made him win that round it was very funny. Magic Trivia: this was an option on the Chaos Wheel. Trivia was ranked Easy, Medium, and Hard and each level came with its own respective reward. Again a huge hit because it basically only benefited them. Whoever won the most trivia got a deck box. Everyone left with a prize! I got booster packs for anyone that didn’t directly win. Overall the night was a huge success! I hope this can give others some inspiration for their MTG parties! submitted by /u/ToxiccCookie to r/mtg [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CounterNecessary2597 Originally posted to r/AITAH Previous BoRUs: #1 [New Update]: AITAH For not planning anything for father’s day after my husband ruined my first mother’s day NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Editor’s note: removed older relevant comments for more space in this latest BoRU Mood Spoilers: unexpectedly positive RECAP Original Post: June 16, 2025 I'm 98.7% sure that I am not the AH here, but I'm wrong I'm willing to admit it and learn from my mistakes. Our little boy will be one late this summer, so this was the first mothers day and fathers day for both me and my husband. My husband asked what I wanted for mothers day. I didn't want/need anything big or expensive. What I asked for is: For husband to get up with the little guy and get him fed while I pumped and chilled Breakfast in bed - just toast, scrambled eggs and coffee For us to take the little guy to the zoo for the first time. This was the main thing I was looking forward to. Go to my fav taco place for dinner Between morning and afternoon naps we have about 4 hours of awake time. The zoo is abt 30 min away so I had figured if we left as soon as he got up from his nap and ate, we'd have a couple hours at the zoo and worst case he could sleep in the car on the way home. We took my mom and my MIL out to brunch the prior weekend to celebrate them- his mom on Saturday and my mom on Sunday. I also got them each a thoughful little present and flowers to celebrate their first mothers day as grandparents. I arranged everything and told my mom and MIL that we'd be celebrating on the actual day with just our little family and sent them a group chat (which included husband, my dad and FIL) just to make sure everyone is on the same page. My MIL is very pushy and overbearing so I didn't want there to be any surprises or confusion. The Saturday before Mother's Day, FIL sent my husband a text with a picture of all the mulch he just had delivered and said something like "gonna be a busy weekend!" or something like that. Apparently he had 300 bags of mulch (they have a big yard with lots of flower beds). That night my MIL called my husband and asked him to come over first thing in the morning to help his dad move the bags of mulch to where they were going to be used. She said since we weren't going to the zoo until after little guy's nap, that husband could go over and help for a couple hours and then come pick us up to go to the zoo. I was obviously not happy but she guilted him and said FIL was going to end up hurting himself if he moved all that by himself and that its not a big deal and should only take an hour or two. I told him his mom was doing this to try and get us to skip our plans and spend the day with them but he kept saying it's not a big deal, saying his mom promised it would only take a couple hours, etc etc. I think most people know what happened - husband went over first thing, which means no breakfast in bed and I had to get up to feed the little guy. I was kinda pissed, but whatever. Spent time with the little guy then when he went down for his morning nap I texted my husband to let him know he should start wrapping things up. Then when little guy woke up 2hrs later I called husband to tell him I'd be ready to go as soon as I finished feeding the little guy. He told me it was taking longer than he expected but that he'd hurry. Like an hour and a half later husband called and said they weren't done but he was getting ready to come home. It's 15-20 minute drive from MIL/FILs house. At that point we'd missed the window to make it to zoo so I told him to just stay there and finish and not worry about Mothers Day since he hadn't done a single thing I asked for. I don't think there wasy any doubt in his mind how pissed I was. A little later his mom called and said since we decided not to go to the zoo, that me and little guy should go hang out with her while "the boys" finished with the mulch. I admit that I was pretty pissy and told her I had no interest in spending time with the people who decided to ruin my first mothers day. I ended up staying home and ordering a pizza and binging Netflix. When husband got home he was all apologetic and asked how he could make it up. I was still pissed and told him he could make it up by not ruining my first mothers day. I also told him he should plan on spending Fathers Day with his mom and dad bc me and the little guy were going to go celebrate Fathers Day with my mom and dad. Since Mother’s Day MIL has been texting and calling but I've been keeping conversations short and just giving very bland generic responses. My husband has been apologizing and asking what he can do but honestly I don't want to bother. I know it's just a day and we can celebrate any time, like we did with my mom & MIL. But it was my first ever Mothers day. And it's not like I asked for anything expensive or difficult. The only difficult thing is he's incapable of setting boundaries with his mom. And she's incapable of considering anyones feelings but her own. This past Saturday he asked if I was still going to my parents then said he'd like to go with us. I told him he could do whatever he wanted but since I hadn't done anything for his dad he might want to go see him or something. We did both end up going to my parents and spending the day with them. It was actually a nice day. My dad insisted on grilling because of course he did but the weather ended up being nice and we spent a lot of time hanging out on their deck playing with the little guy. I'm not sure what if anything my husband did for his dad. I know he was getting a lot of texts during the day, I assume from his mom. She did send me a snippy text saying it was hurful to spend the day with my family at the expense of husbands but I told her she got to spend Mothers day with her baby boy so it's only fair that I spend Fathers day with my family. I know my husband was hurt that we didn't acknowledge him for Fathers Day but I told him while we were driving to my parents house that I'm just matching his energy. I admit that I haven't done anything to de-escalate the drama but I'm still just so hurt he continues to prioritize his mom's feeling over our little family. This isn't the first time his mom has done crap like this and I'm just so tired of it. She always oversteps and insists on doing what SHE wants. I'm doing better at keeping her at arms length and holding my own boundaries but my husband is absolutely incapable of it. EDITED to fix a typo AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA   Update #1: June 23, 2025 (six days later) I posted here last week, you can find it in my profile if you want the backstory. I wanted to thank everyone. I've had a lot of people asking for an update, so here we go. This weekend the husband and I sat down and talked about everything. I expressed to him how incrediably upset and disappointed I was at how both Mother's Day and Father's Day went down. I really wanted to recognize and celebrate my husband for FD everybit as much as I hoped he would recognize and celebrate me for MD. He said he knew he shouldn't have gone to his parents on MD but didn't know what to do since his mom was pressuring him and saying if his dad got hurt it would be husbands fault. He admitted that he knew he messed up and has been terrified that I was going to ask for a divorce. Since he cut to the chase, I told him that if this is how our life is going to be, I don't want to stay married to him. I explained to him that I realized that while yes, I was upset about what happened on Mother's Day, that isn't what is making me feel this way. That was just the straw the broke the camels back. This kind of behavior from his mom has been happening since we before got engaged and has just escalated. This has been happening for YEARS. As someone here suggested, I had listed all the times/events (that I could remember) that she had overstepped or just completely ruined. For our freaking honeymoon, she called him TWICE A DAY. Every monrning to find out our plans for the day and then every evening to hear how the day went. Plus the constant texting, asking for pictures, telling him how much she missed him. I don't know how I thought this was acceptable. She tried to make our wedding about herself, tried to make my pregnancy about herself, tried to take over when we brought our son home, just constantly inserting herself and overstepping. I told him that I don't really want to get divorced right now, but it's going to happen anyway, I'd rather get divorced now while we can still do it amicably. Because if nothing changes I'm going to end up so angry and resentful that it would make divorce very contentious and I don't want that for our son. At this point we were both crying, upset and emotional. So I told him that I'll give him some time to decide what he's going to do but if I don't see clear effort being made to start prioritize me and our son that I'd move forward with the divorce. And the change has to continue. Everytime we've fought about this in the past, he's promised he'll change and sometimes he has, but then his mom pulls him back into her orbit. If we are to stay married - these are some of the things I'm insisting on in no particular order: We each own the relationship with our own parents. That means I'm not planning anything for his parents anymore. No cards, no presents, no burnches or parties, no pictures, nothing. If his parents reach out to me I'm going to redirect them to him. I'm not entertaining or visiting with his parents when he's not around. I'm not taking our son over to theirs by myself. And if they "drop by" I'm not inviting them in unless my husband is there. I'm not changing my plans at the last minute just because they decided to drop by without coordinating with us in advance or because they want us to do something with them. Neither of us makes plans with our parents or accepts invitations until we discuss with our partner. And if we don't both agree the we don't do it. And we don't throw each other under the bus, we just say something like "we checked our schedule and we're not available". Holiday's like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc are at our house. We can discuss inviting our parents but we're not going to someone else house to celebrate something involving our son when we can do it at home. This includes his 1st bday which MIL is trying to take over and plan. Other holidays we're alternate between our parents. And we will focus on being present. That means no more texting/talking to his mom non-stop when we're with my parents. No more oversharing with MIL. She doesn't need to know about our finances or health/medical issues or vacation plans or anything unless we both agree its something we want to share. His visits to his parents can't be at the expense of spending quality time with me and our son. I don't mind him visiting his parents, but he's over there a couple times a week. We are his immediate family now, we should get priority. We're not doing things just because she said we should. And we're not changing our plans just because she doesn't like them. She really doesn't understand that "Wrong" and "Different" are not the same thing. In her mind, if we're not doing what she wants, HOW she wants, then we are in the wrong. He needs to go to therapy with someone specializing in enmeshment. And we need to start going to couples therapy. I didn't even realize I have so much pent-up resentment that I can't look at my husband the same anymore. I'm just angry at him all the time and I hate being this way. When it comes to our son, our word (husband and me) is law. If she disregards or minimizes our decisions for our son, then she loses access until she learns to behave. When me or my husband say "No" to either set of parents, the other person will support them and back them up. That means my husband has to stop trying to get me to agree with his mom all the time. I can tell he's freaked out and really stressed about the idea of putting hard boundaries in place or distancing from his parents. And I do feel for him. He said he feels like he's caught between a rock and a hard place and that me and his mom are both putting a ton of pressure on him and both have conflicting expectations. And that's fine. He just needs to understand that I'm not tolerating this anymore. I know this will cause an absolute shit storm with his parents but I feel like if we don't do it now, it'll just be harder down the road. What does everyone think? Am I being unreasonable? Are there other boundaries we should put in place?   ----NEW UPDATE---- Update #2: September 2, 2025 (2.5 months later) UPDATE 2: AITAH For not planning anything for fathers day after my husband ruined my first mothers day I've had a lot of folks asking for an update, so here goes! First off, thank you all to everyone who commented on my earlier posts, good and bad, it has been so helpful. Couple things I want to mention first. A lot of commenters have been saying that I knew what I was getting into when I married DH so this whole thing is as much my fault as anyone elses and if I didn't want a mama's boy, I shouldn't have married one. Yep, you are 100% correct. I ignored all the red flags, constantly told myself it would get better once we were engaged, then once we were married, then once we got pregnant, then once we had kids. And I think part of the issue is she's gotten worse over the years. It feels like one of those frog-in-a-pot-of-boiling-water situations. I don't deny I put myself into this situation but the fact is we're here now so we need to get it figured out. A lot of other commentors said my "list of rules" was crazy and I'm just as bad as his mom. Maybe I am (more on that later), but I don't think there is anything about my boundaries that is unreasonable and there is nothing there that I expect from him and his parents that I don't also expect from myself and my parents. I've said repeatedly, they all boil down to the same basic thing: showing each other respect and consideration. I'm not saying he can't see his parent or that they can't come visit or anything like that. I'm saying that his parents don't get to have priority over us and our little family, and neither do my parents. First the good. My husband ended up surprising me with a trip out of town. He took me and LO down to San Antonio for a long weekend. We had been pre-kid and really enjoyed staying on the riverwalk and doing all the touristy stuff even though we only live a few hours away. DH ended up really stressed and kept apologizing because obviously this trip was much different. It felt more like a military expedition with all the gear we took for LO and it wasn't nearly as romantic since we had a pack-and-play next to the bed. But I kept reminding him that what was important (to me at least) was that he took the initiative to plan something on his own and try to make up for Mother's Day. Even though it wasn't exactly what hubs was hoping for, I had a really really good time and enjoyed spending time with my two guys and I expressed that to him. And to his credit, DH didn't answer when his mom called or spend all day texting her. I know he paid for it when we got back because I heard them on the phone and it sounded like she was reading him the riot act for not telling them we were going, not inviting them along, and not answering when she called. I'm going to do something for him as a belated fathers day and we're going to try to build different, better memories of our first MD/FD, even if it's after the fact. More good stuff, DH and I both have individual therapists we've been seeing weekly for the past several weeks as well as a couples therapist we have been seeing weekly together. And I'm going back to work full time next week so LO has been going to daycare part time to help him acclimate. The first day was pretty traumatic, more for me than for LO! But, he's been adjusting well and seems happy when I pick him up after lunch (this is a huge point of contention with MIL b/c she wants to baby sit but I've said absolutely not because she won't respect any of our rules or boundaries). I've also been following through on my list of boundaries on my last post. I'm not NC, but I guess the term is I've dropped the rope. Now the bad. For LOs first birthday I was planning something small and casual at our house. Just our parents, and a few close friends. Like, 10-15 people max, counting me and DH. I was going to make a smash cake for LO and more grownup type food/snacks/desert for us and guests. I was planning some low key decorations because lets be honest, this kind of party is for the adults. Kiddo isn't going to remember any of it so I didn't want to go overboard. MIL hated everything about it and wanted to do it at her house, invite all her friends and relatives, serve more kid-centric food, get a store bought cake with all that super sweet icing, and go nuts with decorations. I told her 'no, absolutely not. Our kid, our house, our plans'. She went crying to DH and he tried to talk me into letting her have her way. This has been a constant theme. MIL oversteps, I complain, DH puts up boundaries, and then just as quickly DH forgets about the boundaries. We were able to talk about this in one of our early couples sessions and it was pretty enlightening. I'm sure all the people saying DH just ended up marrying some just like his mom will be gratified to know our counselor said "OP can have a forceful personality". So yea, I'm bossy/pushy/opinionated/etc. How it came up is we were talking about the party and I was saying what I wanted to do and why I didn't want to let my MIL take over, etc and DH was trying to explain why we should accommodate MIL. The therapist interrupted us and ask DH what HE wanted to do. DH started talking about my plan vs his mom's plan and the therapist stopped him and asked again what HE wants. Based on his reaction, I don't think anyone has ever seriously asked him that. He had a complete deer in headlights look and I really though he was going to bolt or start crying or both. How we ended it is, if he truly doesn't have an opinion or doesn't care then he should probably defer to my (his wife) approach. He shouldn't delegate his right to decide to his mom. If he really want to do it her way, then he needs to express that and say he wants to do it her way because he really wants to do it her way as opposed to doing it her way just to avoid upsetting her. Or if he wants something completely different, he needs to express that. But his mom's opinion is not and cannot take precedence. Nothing wrong with her expressing her opinion and him agreeing but that needs to be an active process as opposed to him just doing something because she said so. That was followed up by a conversation about how I have strong thoughts and opinions and I need to give him room to have his own. So rather than saying: "I want to do x" and then expecting him to agree or disagree I need to say something like "For LOs birthday, I have some ideas but I'd like to hear what you think first so we can decide together". We did end up doing the party the way I wanted because DH took the therapists advice and deferred to me since he didn't have an opinion. MIL was super pissy about the whole thing and ended up bringing a sheet cake despite me telling her multiple times not too. We didn't serve it during the party (because boundaries) which pissed her off. DH and I have been munching on it as a late night snack after putting LO to bed and because of how insanely sweet the icing is, I'm glad I stuck to my guns. I feel better because I've put distance between myself and MIL and I'm not worrying about pissing her off so I'm not walking on egg shells any more. But I don't know if I'm any more confident about whether our marriage will survive. I'm realizing that DH has deferred to other people (MIL and me) for so long he has a hard time having his own thoughts and opinions. I do still love him very much, and I'm not as mad as I was when I first posted. Now I'm more sad for him and I'm starting to understand him better. But I don't know if he can change. I know she is complaining to him because I haven't been kowtowing to her and I haven't been visiting on my own or changing plans when they drop by unexpectedly but I'm not pushing him to establish his own boundaries yet. I think he needs to do more work so he can decide what HE wants out of all this. All that to say, we're still working through it and I don't know what's going to happen. Top Comments Commenter 1: It sounds like he has some wonderful growth opportunities ahead. With you supporting his forays into the world of opinions, and with MIL held a safe distance away, I have hope that he can find out what he wants. Commenter 2: Progress not perfection. Glad to see you guys headed in a positive direction. Hope it continues getting better. Commenter 3: DH started talking about my plan vs his mom's plan and the therapist stopped him and asked again what HE wants. He doesn't have an opinion because his mom has steamrolled him on everyone all his life. That's why he defaults to siding with his mom, she's his decision making faculty. Glad your therapist shown a light on this. he still needs a lot of therapy to cut that cord. But it looks like you're on the right track with this therapist. Good luck.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

A decorative metal grate built into the benches of a deck on the back of a house. There are two of them. They can lift up so it seems they must serve a purpose. Not decorative. Anyone seen these before? submitted by /u/Uncle_Crash to r/whatisit [link] [comments]

Got my new deck a week or two ago and have been (im)patiently waiting for my screen protector, case and stickers to arrive so I could decorate it up. Managed to get FoM working without headache issues so I've been playing that on PC due to extensive mods but can't wait to play all my other cozy library titles in a more lounging style setting. It really is quite comfy! ♥ submitted by /u/Ashonym to r/CozyGamers [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes + her own page Previous BoRUs: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment Mood Spoilers: super wonderful!! Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above RECAP Original Post: November 14, 2023** I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.   Update #1: November 27, 2023 (13 days later) Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.   Update #2: December 12, 2023 (15 days later) So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.   Inheritance: December 16, 2023 (four days later) I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.   Christmas: December 25, 2023 (nine days later) I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.   Brother’s call: December 26, 2023 (next day) Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.   Brother's Here: December 27, 2023 (next day) My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!   Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024 (six days later) I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.   Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024 (15 days later) My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys. This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression. Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly. My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined. Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.   Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024 (16 days later) Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care. Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them. We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office. Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.   Update: February 27, 2024 (three weeks later) My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits. Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it. Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her. There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet. Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!   Update 4/1 - Final one I think: April 1, 2024 Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one. It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal. The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason. The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area. The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy. And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing. We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods. As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for. I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.   Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil. Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now. My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them. No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.   ----NEW UPDATE---- Been a while: March 3, 2025 (10 months later) I hope everyone's doing wonderful! I know it's been a while. Lots of little happy updates incoming! My brother moved out! He's like 5 minutes away, so it's not far but he's officially living on his own. He's going steady with the same girl. She's a catch! Sweet as can be! She fits in to the family so well and everyone just adores her. She's going to school to be a nurse and I know she's gonna crush it. Hubby and I get to babysit her kiddo on the regular and he's a total hoot. At first, he was overly polite and a bit shy, but one day my husband picked him up and husband was wearing his SCP hoodie. Turns out the kid is a MASSIVE SCP fan. So we've all bonded and he's really opened up around us. Assuming my brother and her are still together come August (we're hoping they continue going strong) there's talk about kiddo taking the school bus to our place after school. There's a stop at the bottom of our street and it would be no trouble for us to have him chill at our house for a few hours until mom's off work. Have him work on homework or whatever. I might have to learn whatever "new math" is, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Mom's mellowed the frick out. She's stopped her insanity and seems to have accepted the new normal. Dad says she's "turning back into the woman he once married." Which is a bit depressing, but also good, I guess? From what he says, mom has started cross stiching again. Which, my brother and I never knew she knew how. Apparently, she used to be massively into the hobby, but after my brother and I were born, she was terrified we'd get into the needles and hurt ourselves, so she put it all away and never touched it again. Step-dad says she's much more relaxed and calm lately, which I'm happy about. She's respected our boundaries and has only come to visit when we allowed it. Our relationship has improved drastically. Dad and step-mom are also doing well. Step mom and us actually bonded quite nicely during January. She needed hip surgery and since Dad's house has more steps than High Hrothgar, it was decided that she would stay with my husband and I. Her doctor scheduled the surgery at our local branch of their hospital and after she was released, she came back to our place. She ended up staying with us for most of January due to a massive ice storm that came tearing through the area. I've spent time with the woman, but never like this or for this long. It was like seeing a whole new side of her I never knew. When dad finally came to pick her up, I was actually sad to have her leave. You will all be happy to hear that we did manage to do a memorial for my grandparents. It was exactly what my soul needed. I didn't realize how much I NEEDED to have that closure until it was done. Like someone took a weighted blanket off me and I could breathe again. It was a lovely service and a few of the little old church ladies made us some finger foods to have back at the church afterwards and we all sat around eating and sharing stories about Grandma and Grandpa. Our next scheduled visit is for Easter and I can honestly say I'm looking forward to it. I feel like I have my family back again. Please be kind to each other and take care of yourselves. Thank you for letting me shout into the void. Commenter: Oh this is a fantastic update. I am so pleased that this whole saga has come through the other side in a nice way. So often these kind of things don’t have happy endings and I’m thrilled that this one does. Thank you for updating us all.   DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Building hills and rivers are too overwhelming. I might just get lost in my own path lol. submitted by /u/Steel_Arm0r to r/AnimalCrossingNewHor [link] [comments]

Remembering Two Trailblazing Aviators: Lt. Cmdr. Lyndsay “Miley” Evans and Lt. Serena “Dug” Wileman On behalf of all of Team Whidbey, our condolences go out to the families of our fallen aviators. In the world of U.S. Naval Aviation, very few names will be forever imprinted with their squadrons, their communities, and their shipmates. Among them are Lt. Cmdr. Lyndsay “Miley” Evans and Lt. Serena “Dug” Wileman, two highly skilled, combat-decorated aviators who tragically lost their lives during a routine training flight near Mount Rainier on Oct. 15, 2024. More than just names and ranks, they were role models, trailblazers, and women whose influence touched countless people on the flight deck and well beyond. They had recently returned from a deployment with their squadron, Electronic Attack Squadron (VAQ) 130, “Zappers,” with whom they spent nine months at sea as a part of Carrier Air Wing Three (CVW-3) aboard USS Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN 69) (IKE). Operating mostly from the Red Sea, they supported Operations INHERENT RESOLVE, PROSPERITY GUARDIAN, and POSEIDON ARCHER, where they were involved in the most dynamic combat action in defense of the strike group and freedom of navigation since World War II. During their deployment, both Evans and Wileman distinguished themselves in combat operations. Their efforts directly contributed to the Navy’s mission defending U.S. and Coalition forces while keeping the seas open and free with precision and purpose. These role models cemented legacies by making history that will inspire future generations of Naval officers and aviators. Born to Lead: Lyndsay “Miley” Evans Following her time at the University of Southern California, Los Angeles, Evans was commissioned through the Reserve Officers' Training Corps (ROTC) and earned her “Wings of Gold” as a Naval Flight Officer out of Naval Air Station (NAS) Pensacola. While familiar with the spotlight, Evans always carried herself as a humble yet strong leader – the quiet professional. As an EA-18G Electronic Warfare Officer (EWO) and veteran of two sea tours, she earned the respect of the entire Growler community for her tactical expertise, mentorship to those of all ranks and communities, and ability to bring out the best in everyone around her. In 2023, Evans was part of the all-female Super Bowl flyover, a historic moment marking 50 years of women flying in the Navy. This event also symbolized the progress of women in aviation across all military branches. But for those who knew her best, this was only one highlight in a notable career defined by high performance and distinction. After completing the challenging 12-week HAVOC graduate-level course at NAS Fallon (the TOPGUN of the Growler community), Evans earned the honor and responsibility of becoming a Growler Tactics Instructor (GTI). Living up to this responsibility daily, her approachable and knowledgeable demeanor enabled the training and development of countless junior EA-18G Pilots and EWOs. Therefore, it was no surprise to her mentors and peers when she was recognized as the FY2024 Growler Tactics Instructor of the Year, a prestigious honor earned through her tactical acumen and sustained leadership. During her 2023-24 deployment with CVW-3 on the IKE Carrier Strike Group (IKE CSG) in the Red Sea, Evans coordinated and executed multiple combat strikes into Houthi-controlled territories in Yemen, making her one of the few women to fly combat missions over land. In her critical role as VAQ-130’s Training Officer, she helped develop and execute new warfare tactics that required knowledge, innovation, and a comprehensive understanding of aerial warfare and electronic attack in a nascent theater against a constantly evolving threat. The tactics, techniques, and procedures for the EA-18G she pioneered defending against Houthi aggression directly contributed to the successful defense of the entire CSG and will be used as a template for adaptability at the unrelenting pace of combat in future fights. Evans was awarded two Single Action Air Medals for her exceptional performance during strikes on January 12 and 22, 2024. She also earned three Strike Flight Air Medals for her contributions to missions flown between December 21, 2023, and March 29, 2024. The Heart and Soul: Serena “Dug” Wileman A native of California and commissioned through Officer Candidate School, Wileman was at the beginning of a promising and illustrious career. As a senior first-tour Naval Aviator, she established herself as an energetic, vocal, and positive influence in VAQ-130. Known for her heart of gold, passion, and unrelenting smile, Wileman was always committed to improve and grow, not only for herself but every Sailor and officer around her. During her 2023-24 deployment, Wileman planned and subsequently flew multiple strikes into Houthi-controlled territories in Yemen, one of the few women to fly combat missions over land. Wileman’s exceptional leadership was highlighted during VAQ-130’s “Dirt Det,” where she was designated the Officer in Charge. Overcoming the challenges of operating from an austere location, she successfully oversaw all detachment operations enabling the support of multiple flights in the defense of U.S. and Coalition forces in support of Operations INHERENT RESOLVE and PROSPERITY GUARDIAN. Always a team player, Wileman was also a respected qualified Landing Signal Officer (LSO), a vital role in the squadron to ensure her fellow Naval Aviators safely recovered aboard the ship. Despite operating in a weapons engagement zone, her calm and collected demeanor under pressure showed during combat operations. Even when recovering alerts while IKE was being targeted and the CSG was under attack by Houthi terrorists, she executed flawlessly, bringing all CVW-3 aircraft aboard expeditiously and safely. From the LSO platform, Wileman always showcased her extraordinary composure and consistent ability to perform under pressure. Due to her unrelenting efforts, Wileman accrued three Strike Flight Air Medals for her role in combat operations between December 17, 2023, and April 5, 2024. Outside the cockpit, Wileman made everyone smile. She would brighten up any room and was known for her genuine care and compassion for those around her. She always brought a sense of calm, in the good times and bad, whether it was through a joke, a game of cribbage, or a giant bear hug for a Sailor in need of one. The Bonds That Endure Evans’ and Wileman’s strong connection to their families were second to none. Evans was close with her parents, who were immensely proud of her many accomplishments and were overjoyed when welcoming her back to NAS Whidbey Island on July 13th. Wileman met her husband, Brandon, during flight school. Also a Naval Aviator, Brandon shared in her passion for flight, and together they supported each other through the challenges and successes of their careers. Wileman’s goal for follow-on orders after the Zappers was to remain co-located with Brandon. Both Evans and Wileman shared lasting loyalty and commitment to their mentors, peers, and Sailors. They always lifted others up, even during the most challenging moments of deployment, knowing exactly how to take a quick break from the “stress” of the job and deployment and getting everyone’s heads back in the game. They also bonded over their love of dogs: Evans, a proud “dog mom” to Nix (an Australian Shepherd), and Wileman to Riley (a Dachshund/Chihuahua mix – “Chiweenie”). The two often flew together, sharing a deep understanding of the intricacies of Naval Aviation, and complemented each other well. They shared many moments together, from leading critical missions in combat zones during deployment to helping their Sailors and each other weather the mental strain of long deployments. These women’s bond with each other reached well beyond the cockpit. They were both known for their humor and light-hearted spirit. A memorable moment came at a beachside pool, where, during a liberty port in Souda Bay, Crete, Evans and Wileman shared a laugh as two male squadron mates struggled to move a heavy umbrella. “Centuries of oppression have finally paid off,” they joked, representing the camaraderie and light heartedness that defined both of them. A Legacy That Lives On The legacy that Evans and Wileman leave behind is characterized by strength, courage, and inspiration. They embodied the very best of Naval Aviation and were examples that hard work, determination, and devotion to their passions could lead to exceptional achievements. They will remain role models for both women and men, embodying the true Navy warrior spirit. Capt. Marvin Scott, Commander of CVW-3, said Evans and Wileman will be remembered for their tenacity, their outstanding contributions to the defense of others, and the positive energy they brought to Naval Aviation. “I have personally flown with both of these Great Americans in both training and dynamic combat operations, and they always performed professionally and precisely. As true leaders in the Growler community, VAQ-130, and across my Air Wing, their contributions cannot be overstated; I could not be more proud to have served with each of them,” said Scott. “Every member of the CVW-3 Battle Axe Team is heartbroken at the loss of these exceptional warriors; Dug and Miley truly represent the best that Naval Aviation has to offer, and they will absolutely be missed.” As the Navy mourns the loss of these two exceptional aviators, their stories will continue to inspire generations of service members. They represent the best of the Navy and Naval Aviation: warriors who were steadfast in the face of danger, always prepared to lead, and compassionate to their fellow Sailors. Their memories will endure with the men and women of the Zappers, CVW-3, the entire IKE CSG, CVWP and Team Whidbey. Their legacies will live on, immortalized in the hearts of their families, friends, and all who had the privilege to serve alongside them.” submitted by /u/sirisaac1777 to r/aviation [link] [comments]

No wooden signs that have cute sayings on them like “project managers like to do it on a spreadsheet”. Pictures of family, my kids, places I’ve been, things I like. I can literally leave my security card on the desk and walk out today and never come back. I feel like this is the case with most people our age. I see older Gen X (and the other group older than them) usually have their desks decorated to some varying degrees. Fellow desk dwellers, do you have anything personal at your cube or office? … Update: the responses are still rolling in, but with all the responses I figured I’d comment on the trends that I see. First, it sounds like the prevailing answer is that most people have something on their desk, even if it’s just one picture of their kids or one personal item of note. But also it seemed that most people only have the one or two somethings. There is a strong cohort of responses that mimic exactly what I’ve explained in the post. There were questions about if this “nothing” approach took into consideration snacks, bottle of excedrin, phone chargers and those things. I do not consider these things “personal” items for the intention of decorating your desk space. Further, they are things that can easily be left behind and never thought about again. (I keep an emergency stick of deodorant in my desk drawer). Responses to this effect seemed to be predominantly millennial, if not older millennial. Gen X chimed in quite a few times and I even saw a self-identified “Byoomer” (they don’t let you use the real word in the post). Gen X identified as “minimalist”, much like above with the 1 or 2 items. As with most of the answers there was a prevailing opinion of “I only have what I can take with me in one trip”. Going against the grain there was a small, but strong cohort of millennials that identified as “maximalist”, a word I was not accustom to before this discussion. They deck out their desks with everything that makes them happy. Their reasons are their own, but some people said their reasoning was “otherwise I wouldn’t be able to stand this job” or “because I spend so much time here, I need it to feel a certain way”. A lot do people mentioned “hot desking” as preventative to using their space for anything beyond their butt in the chair. Swapping fart particles and booger residue under their fingernails with the most recent chair warmer. Wiping off the dandruff of another’s scalp from the keyboard. Hot desking highlighted a number of most recent changes to our work environment that prevents many from customizing their office space. Work from home, obviously. The volatility of employment also seemed to be a major component. Several people mentioned bearing witness to or being a part of mass layoffs and other corporate actions that impacted jobs. Of course this question was not asked to any other subreddits purporting to represent other specific working age generations, but I’d say that the “absolute minimalist” is a decently sized cohort within the millennial generation. Whether that cohort is represented more within this age group compared to others cannot be confirmed through these responses, but based on these responses I would not be surprised to find out that they are. If only for the era-specific issues the current working age group is facing. Thanks everyone for the fun discussion. Lastly, some people seemed really triggered and offended by the question itself, which I found fascinating. Someone even said something to the effect of “what’s with your age group?! You all think everything is entirely related to your specific generation! Gah!!! Not everything can be generalized across one generation. People are all different! UGHHHH! All millennials are idiots”. And I I found that to be very amusing. submitted by /u/UniqueCartel to r/Millennials [link] [comments]

She’s excited to see how much expensive and unnecessary stuff she can get for free for all of these different people who are definitely NOT her. Posted 8 hours ago. No comments. submitted by /u/toastedmarsh7 to r/ChoosingBeggars [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes and her own page Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, and BoRU #3 Editor's Note: removed some previous relevant comments due to some space needed to add new updates. To see other comments, you can find them in the previous BoRUs linked above [As of January 24, 2024] - NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- [New Update] - My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment RECAP Original Post - November 14, 2023 I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.   Update - November 27, 2023 Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.   Update #2 - December 12, 2023 So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.   Inheritance – December 16, 2023 I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.   Christmas - December 25, 2023 I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.   Brother’s call - December 26, 2023 Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.   Brother's Here - December 27, 2023 My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!   Happy 2024! - January 2, 2024 I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space. RELEVANT COMMENTS TNTmom4: Where is the step-mom and stepdad in all of this? Have they reached out to apologize? OP if your WHOLE family each made a SM post FULLY ADMITTING what they did in deal would you forgive them? OOP: Everyone else has been pretty quiet about it. Step dad does what mom wants. End of story there. If she's holding firm, he's got her back. I'm guessing step mom is also still firmly on mom's side, because she helped orchestrate the whole thing. Which leaves my dad in a dilemma. Support the wife? Support the child? I'd HOPE he'd pick me, but I also understand that he might feel stuck. My aunt and uncle? Haven't heard much anything from them outside of the "Happy " texts. I think if they apologized. Truly, honestly apologized, I would forgive them. If they explained themselves, made an effort to show me that they're truly sorry. To work to rebuild, and not just stick their heads in the sand, I think I'd be okay with having them (marginally) back in my life. Hell, at this point, I'd be happy to receive a Hallmark card saying "I fucked up!" With the picture of a cat in an upturned laundry basket. Anything to just show me that they realize what they've done. ----NEW UPDATE---- Had to change the locks - January 17, 2024 My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys. This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression. Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly. My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined. Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone. RELEVANT COMMENTS Natopor Damn I did not expect for then to show up! Well I did suspect the posibility. But still tought the chances were low. Forgive me for asking but what exactly did they talk with your brother? Like how did it went? Did bro manage to tell them how he aired their "master plan" to you? Also I am happy to hear you and your dad manage to get along. But did he confess and apoogize for his own contribution to mom and step-mom plan? Cuz it would only be fair to you. OOP My brother says they were just THERE in the living room and he freaked out. Started yelling for them to get out. He doesn't remember what they were yelling back. But suddenly the neighbors were there and they got the moms out in the yard. The moms know that I know the whole story. They're aware that my brother spilled "the beans". And yes, dad apologized as well. I think I missed sharing that. Dachshundmom5 What was your Dad's apology? Or reasoning for going along with emotionally abusing his child? OOP He said he wasn't sure what he was thinking. He had the mom's all up in his head, making him think: I was the bad one. I was the wrong one. I was the one causing problems. It was all me, me, me. He had hoped it would all just go away, but no one was letting it, and he felt completely stuck and alone. He told me he just wanted his baby girl back, and he'd do anything to make it up to me. Apologized and begged. Our relationship is still rocky, but we talk on the phone, text, and send bird feeder photos. We're taking it slow and it's honestly been nice.   FOR THE LATEST UPDATE ON THIS SAGA, PLEASE SEE HERE NEW UPDATE   REMINDER - THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641 Originally posted to r/TwoHotTakes and her own page Previous BoRU #1 and BoRU #2 NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ---- [New Update] - My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there. Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting RECAP Original Post - November 14, 2023 I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group. Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility. Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021. Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”. Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to. I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season. Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.   RELEVANT COMMENTS teaandtomes: Yeah- they know they messed up big time and don't want to admit it. But they created this narrative to make themselves look/feel better and now have pushed it so hard that friends and the community are in on it. They might even believe it themselves at this point- it can happen. I agree with your husband. Take a break and decide what is best for you going forward (IOW, what can you live with and how much do you want them in your life given the gaslighting). So sorry- families can be difficult, especially with self-created drama. OP: That's kinda our thoughts. That they forgot, and don't want to lose face in the community. And now they've dug themselves in too deep to get out. If they truly do believe it, it scares me that they've all agreed to this delusion. squarziz: I feel like I need more info but not even sure what to ask. However to me it sounds intentional they didn't invite you, and were maybe hoping this would make you want to move home again so you don't 'forget' anymore family events? If anyone said something like 'well if you lived in town you would have known ' then that's the answer. It would also make me want to find out how everyone else was told about said funeral. Were they called? Texted? Emailed? Told at 4th of July? Maybe if everyone else was invited in person they did just forget to invite you, but even that he would seem kind of like a stretch if you do go back visit and call as much as you say. OP: I thought this at first, but it just seems so cruel and unlike them. They like where I live. Say it's nice and occasionally visit. I don't know how the event was organized, but I'm guessing word of mouth. Like I said, I was there just a few days earlier. We had a big meal and set off fireworks. Hubby and I had taken the 5th off and we left that evening after a lovely dinner and some board games. We talk all the time on the phone. My step mom calls me almost every night. Used to anyway. It's been a weird few weeks not talking to them. I get home from work, and start automatically pulling up someone to call, and then I remember. I usually talk to my dad every Sunday morning while we drink our coffee. Not having him call this week had me sitting outside in my usual spot and just...sitting? I don't know how to describe it. Felt kinda numb and weird. Hubby's been working on cheering me up. He's so angry at this whole thing. I'm afraid he's gonna just leave one morning, drive over there, and start knocking heads around.   Update - November 27, 2023 Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think? It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses. We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.   Update #2 - December 12, 2023 So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know? Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that. Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well. And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties. On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it. Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.   Inheritance – December 16, 2023 I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know? No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active. The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.   Christmas - December 25, 2023 I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect. Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer. Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls. We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time. As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.   Brother’s call - December 26, 2023 Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning. For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back. Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth: Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me. The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people. 4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home. 8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there. And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me". But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral. That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember? I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed. The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them. My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it". He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives. On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.   Brother's Here - December 27, 2023 My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped. This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right. Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive! ---- NEW UPDATE ---- Happy 2024! - January 2, 2024 I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness! Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely. Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home. Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space. RELEVANT COMMENTS TNTmom4: Where is the step-mom and stepdad in all of this? Have they reached out to apologize? OP if your WHOLE family each made a SM post FULLY ADMITTING what they did in deal would you forgive them? OOP: Everyone else has been pretty quiet about it. Step dad does what mom wants. End of story there. If she's holding firm, he's got her back. I'm guessing step mom is also still firmly on mom's side, because she helped orchestrate the whole thing. Which leaves my dad in a dilemma. Support the wife? Support the child? I'd HOPE he'd pick me, but I also understand that he might feel stuck. My aunt and uncle? Haven't heard much anything from them outside of the "Happy " texts. I think if they apologized. Truly, honestly apologized, I would forgive them. If they explained themselves, made an effort to show me that they're truly sorry. To work to rebuild, and not just stick their heads in the sand, I think I'd be okay with having them (marginally) back in my life. Hell, at this point, I'd be happy to receive a Hallmark card saying "I fucked up!" With the picture of a cat in an upturned laundry basket. Anything to just show me that they realize what they've done.   Latest Update here: BoRU #4   REMINDER - THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP submitted by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 to r/BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]

Zavala blew the whole party planning budget on decorations didn’t he..... submitted by /u/zaccraigen to r/DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]

I love Keyforge. But from time to time, mistakes can be made. Given the sheer number of effects that cards can have, I’m sure every player has found themselves forgetting things. Who hasn’t drawn up to the standard six cards while the opponent has Succubus in play? Or left Berinon intact upon a mutant creature entering play, when he should have become enraged? It’s easy to simply go on autopilot instead of slowly and methodically going through the motions, eyes sharp and alert to all that occurs. With that in mind, let’s take a trip back in time to October 2019, meet the professional player who walked away with a tournament win, and the drama that followed. Before we proceed, I should say that I do not condone people making personal attacks or threats against anyone involved. This should not be turned into a witch hunt. I will be using the real name of the player in question since it is mentioned in the links I’ll be using, but please refrain from contacting him or anyone else mentioned. Anyway, let’s first go over some basic information. Keyforge and the Vault Tour Keyforge is a game all about forging keys, as the name would imply. In order to forge keys you need ӕmber. Six ӕmber makes one key and the first to three keys wins. If you’re more interested in the quirks of the game itself – from overpowered cards to confusing rulings – check out my previous Hobby Drama articles on The LANS combo, Bait and Switch and Archimedes. The Vault Tour is a series of official tournaments run by Fantasy Flight Games, the creators and publishers of Keyforge. While not as large as tournaments for the likes of Magic: The Gathering, Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! the Vault Tours still garnered a respectable number of players for a new card game, peaking with the Birmingham Vault Tour in June 2019 which saw 388 players compete. Whether things would’ve gotten bigger in a non-COVID alternate timeline with the announcement of the Vault Warrior series, I guess we’ll never know. The most common formats were Archon Solo – where players bring one deck to stick with for the entire tournament – and Sealed Solo – where players use a brand new, unopened deck to compete with, usually from a selection of three potential decks. To the uninitiated it should be noted that the sealed format can exist because Keyforge has no deck construction. All decks are generated using an algorithm, and every deck in the world is unique. Mixing cards from multiple decks is not allowed, and is safeguarded by each deck having unique names and archon artwork printed on each card as well as a printed decklist available to both players. The Las Vegas Vault Tour was played using the Archon Triad format, in which each player brings three decks. Before each match players are allowed to check their opponent’s decks and choose one to ‘bench’, disallowing them from using it. Just your Average Joe Enter Joe Huber, a professional player who was part of Team SAS, one of the most successful competitive teams ever. Made up of multiple Vault Tour winners, event organizers, streamers, podcasters, and the creator of Decks of Keyforge – a site that pretty much every Keyforge player is intimately familiar with – these guys were a pretty big deal in the competitive Keyforge community. As stated on their site, their members hold Vault Tour wins in Denver, Ohio, Nuremburg, Madrid, Indianapolis, and Albany. You’ll notice that nowhere in that list does it say Las Vegas, despite the fact that team member Joe did indeed win the Vault Tour there. Or at least, he was a member of Team SAS. Joe won the Vault Tour on October 4th 2019, battling his way through a slew of skilled opponents and high level decks. While his win was initially celebrated, suspicions began to arise a few weeks later. The main cause for this was footage of Joe’s quarter finals match against Kirkman. You see, in most card games when a player runs out of cards in their draw pile they suffer a punishment, usually by having their life total depleted or simply losing the game outright. In Keyforge, if you are due to draw a card from an empty deck, you simply take all of your cards from your discard pile and shuffle them face down to create your new draw pile. Yet on the stream of Joe vs Kirkman, at a time when Joe was due to do exactly that, he instead turned over his discard pile to create the new deck, without shuffling. (See the 36:45 mark on the video) It wasn’t until after the tournament when the stream was eventually uploaded to YouTube that the footage was pored over and people noticed the rule-break. Given the fact Joe had won the entire tournament, the news spread like wildfire, quickly gaining the attention of Joe and the other members of Team SAS. There’s more to this incident, and I’ll be getting back to it in a moment, but first I want to talk about Joe’s response to the cheating allegations. In it, he says this ‘cheating’ was simply a mistake on his part, and wasn’t intentional. He apologized for his actions, endeavored to do better in the future, and linked an hour-long podcast explaining his reasoning in full. I will not pretend to know this man or to be able to say definitively and with absolute conviction whether he did or did not cheat intentionally. Far be it from me to claim faultless knowledge on this issue. But as far intuition and looking at the evidence goes… Pretty much nobody believed him. Community Judgement With regards to the introductory segment of this post, yes, honest mistakes can and will happen in Keyforge. People aren’t perfect, and in games where a multitude of card effects take place it’s always possible for both players to forget about one of them. However, this particular incident was not viewed by the majority of the community to be such a case. The reasons for suspicion were as follows: 1. Instances where players are required to shuffle their discard pile after exhausting their deck aren’t rare. At all. This is a common occurrence that happens on a regular basis in both casual and competitive play. If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that in around 50% of games at least one player will end up needing to reshuffle. In decks with high efficiency – which are generally popular at high levels – cycling through your deck is an expected part of the game. To any seasoned player, reshuffling after you empty your deck should be an ingrained habit. (Something that has ruined a game or two of Aeon’s End, I can tell you) And yet, Joe didn’t shuffle. 2. It is common practice for players to offer their opponent to cut their deck after shuffling. This is to prevent players from holding key cards at the top of the deck while shuffling, which is an easy trick. (We'll be coming back to this one later) While there are no hard and fast rules to force you to do this, players are fully entitled to ask to cut their opponent’s deck after any shuffle. In competitive events, doing so is a must. And yet, in this particular instance, Joe didn’t offer his deck to be cut. 3. Most crucially (and perhaps the biggest reason people refused to believe that it was just a mistake), Joe can be seen actively looking through his discard pile, checking which cards were situated near the top before simply turning the deck over without shuffling and drawing into the cards that he’d just looked at. One of which was the card Smith, which given the board state ensured he would gain 3 ӕmber on his turn, allowing him to push towards that third key. With all this in mind, few were willing to believe that such a thing could possibly be an accident. Many were shocked that this wasn’t picked up on as it happened, especially considering that there was an official judge present. (This was, after all, a top 8 match in one of the game’s biggest tournaments) Before I sum up what followed, I think it best to let everyone in on a rather knuckle-biting piece of information. If we are to assume that Joe did cheat intentionally to gain an edge in this match, it would surely be embarrassing to note that at the time Joe’s unshuffled deck was brought back into play, the game was pretty much over. Even without Smith, Joe was far in the lead at this point, almost at three keys with far greater board presence. The chance of his opponent staging a comeback was basically zero. That’s right, everyone. He was called out for cheating in a game that he had essentially already won. As for the podcast that Joe had linked to explain everything, some took it as an insult. “I like how he turned this into an advertisement for his podcast...” wrote one commenter. As for the actual content of the podcast, people weren’t impressed either. “Jupiter: Do you know magic tricks? - Joe: I do not -Jupiter: Therefore he did not cheat.” Was how one commenter summed it up. Things were looking grim for Joe, but it didn’t stop there. Tales From The Crucible At around this time other Keyforge players began speaking out against Joe for other incidents, claiming this wasn’t the only time he’d been involved in something suspicious. While the video for this next instance is no longer available, comments from this Reddit post give a general idea of what was going on. Remember when I said about the etiquette of players cutting their opponent’s deck? That’s because of how easy it is to keep one card in place, which is what Joe appeared to be doing. The Terror is a card that you ideally want in your opening hand if you’re going first, as it guarantees you’ll net an extra 2 ӕmber. Well… it seems like in that same tournament in Vegas, Joe could be seen checking the underside of his deck to find The Terror, then began shuffling in a rather suspicious way, almost as if he wasn’t shuffling a portion of the deck. Then he draws his cards and plays The Terror on the first turn. In addition to this, other players accused him of being toxic and disruptive. “You pushed people out of the way to get to the pairings sheet instead of waiting for people and when called out for it you didn't respond apologetically for being an asshole, instead you were rather entitled and said that everyone else should've made a line (probably because there were no cameras on you then)” said one commenter, stating that many others had also expressed negative opinions of him for his disrespectful conduct. Joe’s apologies and attempts to appeal fell on deaf ears. The community called for action, and action certainly came. Soon after the accusations, Team SAS stated that Joe would no longer be part of the team, reaffirming their stance against cheating. The community was generally pleased with this announcement, despite a small minority being displeased by the cordial and professional statement, wishing that Team SAS would have come down on Joe with an iron fist and dragged his name through the mud. (Not how I personally felt, but each to their own.) Up next came Fantasy Flight Games bringing out the ban hammer, suspending Joe from partaking in any official FFG event for six months. Many in the community felt that this was too soft-handed a punishment, with some saying that a permanent ban and a revoking of his title would be much more appropriate. I personally think FFG refrained from handing out a harsher punishment simply because they couldn't prove outright that Joe had intentionally cheated, even if the evidence was stacked against him. Regardless of people's stance on the issue, the decision was final. It would at least mean that Joe wouldn’t be eligible for Worlds 2020, one of the biggest upcoming tournaments. With the power of hindsight, we can see that this decision didn’t exactly prevent Joe from entering major tournaments, as in March 2020 Fantasy Flight announced the cancellation of all organized play events due to the pandemic. With IRL play suspended for now, most players have migrated to using TCO, a fan-made site that allows people to play online. Tournaments – mainly hosted through various Discord servers – occur frequently and in a wide range of formats, from the established Archon, Sealed, Triad, Reversal and Adaptive to community made formats such as Survival, SAS-cap, SAS-ladder, Appraisal, Tesla and Moirai, with the potential creation of others down the line. Shout out for the people behind TCO for keeping the game alive all this time. Whether Joe is still active through online play, I have no idea. His Reddit account has gone unused for some time and I’m not aware of accounts that he may have for other platforms. When IRL does come back (or if it ever comes back given the state of the world right now), the question remains whether Joe will return or if his infamous status within the community presents too big of an obstacle. While other players have made bad reputations for themselves on some level, Joe is by far the most well-known. Mention “the ‘turned his deck over’ scandal” and you’ll be sure to find plenty of players who know exactly what you’re talking about. As the old saying goes, the bigger you are the harder you fall. Only time will tell if Joe ever makes a successful comeback. That’s all for this time! I don’t have any other Keyforge articles in the pipeline for the moment as I’m pretty sure I’ve covered pretty much everything. But the game is still going strong, so who knows? Thanks for taking the time to read this. Have a nice day! 😊 submitted by /u/Soho_Jin to r/HobbyDrama [link] [comments]

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